Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - SXSW with Gary Gulman

Episode Date: March 26, 2012

Gary Gulman joins Robert and Monster Voice at the South By SouthWest festival in Austin, Texas.   RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un duvena que decast Network, riotcast.com.

Make sure you check out RobertKellyLive.com to find out when Robert is performing new you. This month is going to be in Brino Nevada at Catcher Rising Star at Silver Legacy from the 27th through to 31st. Go to Robert Killy Live for ticket information and other dates to see when Robert is coming to a town new you. Welcome to another episode of You Know What, Dude, with me, Robert Kelly. We are in Austin, Texas. We are at the Married Hotel, South, and we got Dan, aka Monster Voice, Hoda, aka excited to be at a festival, Hoda, oh my god, on the show today, we got Gary Goma coming in, and in just a few miniatoes. Oh shit. He'll be here very shortly. So we're here, man, you're excited. You're fucking flipping out. Dude, this is fun. This is, they should call this festival

the Beard Inflanel Festival, because- Dude, there's so many skinny jeans here. I walked off the plane and I was like, are all of you on the star, all of you in the strokes? Are all of you in the band the strokes There's everybody has a beard a hat and the skinny jeans It's a type of flannel and in like a shitty look on their face. Yeah, like everybody's sad because they're hungry Yeah, hungry for fame hungry. I want to be famous

But here's a deal. I just want to get some drinks and beer smokes pot and get some pussy That's all here. That's why I can't fix it. Is that all you? Big old pixie. See, you're at the stage of your career now. Well, you're coming here and it's just a blast. Yeah, it's fucking summer camp. Well, you know, how much you rent is like not, you don't have a, you know, you don't have a fucking mortgage.

You don't have all this other shit. You just have fucking, what, $500 a month? Is that what you rent is? No, $75. $675. I can make that at the seller on a weekend. Yeah. I can stay in New York.

It's crazy. Man, that's a fucking great time, brother. What? Nothing. No, I mean, it's saving. It's it. Do you really? No, I don't fucking know.

Well, it's a great time. I love, I mean, look, I'm having a blast, too, dude. I'm having a fucking blast. Yeah, I just you know I came I came right from the airport to the mobile, you know what? headquarters, which is in a hotel off a highway, and we set up a fucking slam in studio. It's fucking awesome And it really is yeah, you really do look like a drug king pin right now the fucking Information right I'm fucking arcade drug king pin right now. The fucking right.

I'm fucking okay. With the grays half. Okay, 2000. Oh man, Gary's gonna walk it. Are you ready to see Bobby? I'm walking it sit down. I can see a little bit. But I'll tell you this man.

What the fucking. Tell me this man. It's a set up. It's a great set up. Well, that's a great set up kid. We're at the festival. This festival is a music festival. I was just come last year, but I didn't,

and I'm glad I didn't. I'm coming this year with the Syndicate and Laugh button live with those guys on their show, which is, you know, those guys are my friends. Those are the guys who actually promoted the live show that you didn't get a chance to do at Gotham. We're doing another one. We're gonna do another one.

Don't you worry, Danny Boy. Mm-hmm. At Gotham we're doing another one. We're gonna do another one. Don't you worry Danny boy? Come here. Come here. It's okay. Oh, it's okay. Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? You're okay Dude, this is I'm excited just to go explore explore what what do you have a hotel? Which is nice, which very lovely. I might might I do have a hotel very look six miles out From the venue I'm saying they put me up apparently it's pretty cool my buddy Nick Turner said it's cool But we're staying in an unused department unused department. Yeah, it would be unused because you're there

We am but it's and when you go there that that's not true. No one lives there. Yeah, but when you're there a geost I'm staying you're staying at an apartment They people rent out their apartments for the festival do they yeah I just made that up, but I would imagine a lot of people do that like a thumb a home I heard actually that it is true that they trade it for like passes and shit Well, they trade it and they fucking know you know, you know, I mean if you have an apartment in a Conference like this comes to a festival like this comes into town You could probably make a lot of money to big companies or if like a lot of the local people here Want to go to a bunch of the shows because there's a bunch of cool ass shows. Yeah, it's pretty expensive too. Yeah, it's fucking crazy

I had a fan actually email like dude. I got no money. It's 175 dollars for a pass. Can you? It's like dude. I can't even get in. Yeah, like I had to go get my future pass. I got my past today. I got to get my pass. It's going to be fucking a little hectic tonight, but yeah, it won't be that bad. You're fine. You're fine. They'll take care of you. I play especially the show you're doing. They got you the sending good boys, Alice and Matt. They'll fucking make sure you get in. I didn't have a pass last night. I went to all the shows. We saw our fucking great band last night. I want to save favor when Galman comes on Yeah, that's what I'm really excited our show tonight's late. Yeah, it's at 11 o'clock, but I'm here 11 30 11 30

Hey, but I'm here for nights. Yeah, I'm leaving. I'm leaving at the crack of fuck. Yeah, I'm leaving it for in the morning It's really going uh, huh? Oh, yeah, you gotta go to McGubbis. McGubbis. Yeah, so be more ball more ball the more the wild Yeah, what is it? I was trying to do my time weights. Oh you doing the Stop it You won't stop it. You can't stop it. Down in his hole. You found it. Yeah, right, right, right, shut up. But I love Montreal's my favorite fucking festival. That was the greatest week of my life. That was fun, dude.

That was the greatest week of my life. Well, here's the thing too, I was up there with you. Yeah. And I got to see shit happen for you. Yeah, which was you were hosting the show I was hosting the new faces without management. It's called new faces unrep Unrepped and now that's no longer true. No, you're rep. Yeah, I'm rep. Yeah, so it was I was really Cool to see you destroyed that night too Yeah, my favorite you you had one of the nicest you some one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me in comedy What when it but it wasn't necessarily like your face will get better

It's close. We were outside. We were both still smoking And we went outside to smoke a cigarette and you got dead You I went up fifth out of 10th and we go outside to smoke a cigarette and you did you just fucking Ruined five people's nights. Yeah, cuz people out of 10th and we go outside to smoke a cigarette and you're dead. You just fucking ruined five people's nights Yeah, cuz people out of love after yeah, and you're like that the fucking well, dude you went up I mean everybody look at I love they did that the fact that they I think it was a singer who did it. Yeah Jeff singer they put up this New faces who unwrapped which I love because it was it was, these are the kids that need representation. But what bugged me was that,

Hey, Gary Goman just stopped into the, you know what, dude, podcasts. We got a C for you, Bubbola, and a microphone. We ain't fucking around. The St. The Old Days, Gull. The St. The Old Days. Gary Goman is here. We were just talking about Montreal this last year.

Dan was up there for the first time, and he did new faces unwrapped. And I thought, I was like, man, I like that they did that because they have new faces, but most of those guys have, you know, it's already done by the time you get up there. Yeah, they got in because they had partly... These are the guys who need a festival.

These are the ones who need, and I actually, I love the saying it's so, oh wait, you hosted it? I hosted one of our shows. Yeah, I was really excited to do it. He said before I went up, I was like walking around talking to him and Bobby gets me alone. He goes, I really fucking, I'm so excited. I was like, I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I, you hosted it? I hosted it. You hosted one of our shows. Yeah, I was really excited to do it. He said, before I went up, I was like walking around talking to him and Bobby gets me a loan.

He goes, I really fucking hope you eat it because you're walking around all comfortable. And he goes, I hope you can't even face him in the green room at a new bomb. Well, you look around and all these people will really fucking nervous. And you know, like you should be, this dummy walks up, like he already booked a $500 million fucking fucking deal. Hey what's that man?

What's going on? He was a fake until you make it. No. No, he's not. He was legitimately just excited to be alive. Yeah, he's coming from Denver, a meth headhouse and I'm not to have a meth head house, but he was coming from some shit with your mother and meth head. No, okay, guys. I thought he made it told me that. Well, what it was weird is, I think, because this was the second night of shows we did. And the first night, it was kind of like, I think the confidence was, there's a lot of funny dudes on it,

but you notice that the New York guys were separated from everyone else, because like the younger New York guys, that- Yeah, I'm gonna say this before you even get into it. Everybody did good though. I gotta say that. Everybody had a pretty solid set, or had some funny shit.

Nobody ate their cock, which I was happy about. Yeah, I don't want to see that shit No, and but Dan went up like fifth or something like that and this cock sucker Just leveled the room wow and had the set of the night and I walked up I go how do you feel you just ruined five people's nights? Because there was five people after a great feeling Great and he not so much ruining people's nights because there was five people after a great feeling. That was great. And he's not so much ruining people's night. Here's the best thing.

I wish I took a picture of this, too, because I would have gave it to him years later. I come outside after and every agent of management was surrounding this idiot. Oh, wow. That's a great photo. That's a great feeling. Yeah. For going for six years without any representation at all or nobody. How many years?

Six. So from the time you started, yeah, until six years in, you had no representation at all. Yeah, that sounds about right. That's how long it took me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But now, but now, who's the four kids?

No, no, yeah, it's feel bad for you. Yeah, well, no, he really, he really, he really amount of time we didn't. But longer, I think we went you. Yeah, well, no, no, no, no. He really, he really, he really, he really amount of time he didn't.

But longer, I think we went longer. This started in 94. Yeah. And I got a representation in like 99 or something like that. All right, so five or six years. Yeah, yeah. So I really felt victim to that face. I was going to try to dramatize it.

Who, who, who, who, who, shut up. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha and he's so, I'm kind of happy I'm here too, but he's so happy to be at a festival. Everything is roses. Yeah, we're doing festival. And I go, I can't wait for fucking 12 years in face at a festival. What's up, dude? Will you out? I guess some food. I will say this, at the first time I went,

there was so much on the line, because I did new faces. I couldn't think about anything else except the show and what I was going to do for a set and what was on the line. But then the next time I went, there wasn't anything on the line, and I really had a nice time. And I, yeah, I drank, I smoked weed, I had a wonderful time. The first time I was, I was all business. I should have brought a briefcase on stage with me.

Really? I was so all busy. Just open it and then take out your set list and go. The first festival I went to was Aspen. Okay, now I never got any festival. I would, audition, audition, audition. Never get it. Finally told Matt. I'm done

Don't ask me. I don't want to fucking do him dude. I don't hate him. I don't give a shit about I'm done And then that year I got all them yeah like all them like they all came But I was I wasn't in the frame of mind to do them. I went to ask and the air was then it was snowing I didn't know anybody I was fucking I was just like out of my element, I was out of my element, Danny! Ha ha ha ha ha! Shut up, Donnie! You're like a child element!

You're like a child that waters into a movie. So, I was passed out the first night on stage, did he give me oxygen, I snapped my ACL, it was still fucked up, so like I jumped on stage one night and it snapped my leg snapped again, and I was lying on the ground Scream and they thought the audience I was part of my act they were just laughing harder It was like you're just a nightmare fucking nightmare and it and then I finally I was like what the fuck am I doing?

What the fuck this is bullshit? Why am I not having a good time? And then the next festival was Montreal. And I did the nasty show. I was with Louis CK, Nick DePolo and David Tau. And you go up the week before back then. And I had a blast. David Tau. Oh, David Tau.

David Tau. Do you think he said Dan Vatau? No, I thought he said David Tau. Well, I thought he said Dan Vatau. No, Dan Vatau. What a show. What a show. The hell of a lineup. You know what's like you. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. cry. So just know that I can dish it out.

But you cannot take it. Yeah, all right. No, I got you, Gary. I'm good. I thought it was a good one. Just as long as they're good. This podcast, same as my Twitter. As long as it's good, there's an exo or a smiley face

at the end. I won't block it. Yeah, that's all said with the, oh my God. Hey, love you, Bobby. Huh? I did that to my wife the other day. She almost punched me. Remember when we doing that in the podcast? I did that to my wife the other day. She almost punched me. Remember when we were doing that in the podcast?

I was going, I wanted to start doing that after everything you say. Funny, hey, you go like that. Just doing no way people. I don't like it when you bring something to the civilians and they reject it. Don't they know that this has been vetted by the funniest people on the planet? And I'm going to bring it into your life and you're gonna think it's not fun. How dare you? Yeah, I mean the face ever will give you a gift.

How dare you? So listen, I'm on the show. I'm so paranoid that I'm like, I'm like, they don't like me. Nick doesn't, you know, Nick doesn't like me. You know, Nick can be a little brutal to you sometimes. So Nick says something to me as I'm walking off stage and he's going, he's hosting the show.

I'm walking off and he said something like, I'm like, you know, who's joke is that or something like that? Oh, good. And I went, I was so mad. Because I had such a good set. I was so happy to be there. And I went to Louis, I was like, that fucking guy. That fucking, why did you always get a fucking do that?

Why did you get a fuck with people? And I was like, he was like, what do you say? I go, he said something about me stealing a joke or being a, doing something like that. And then Louis comes up to me a couple hours later, he goes, dude, he said, when did you get so funny? Oh my God. He was complimenting me.

He was saying, oh my God, when did you get funny? Like, it was a compliment, but just Nick saying, it sounds like an insult. When did you get funny, your cock's a cock? Right. I felt like, he's shit. I was like, oh God, I take myself too serious. He can't give you a compliment with that word

in the word prick into it. Yeah, yeah, fucking prick. Yeah, fucking cocksucker. My mother's a hot cunt. I'm just kidding. But yeah, I've had a blast at every festival ever since. Fuck it. Yeah, cause I know how to do them now.

It's not a big deal. I'm not there to get anything. I'm there to do what I do is tell fucking jokes and have a good time with friends. And I'm not like, you know what happened to, I'm not, I like comics now. I like most comedians. I'm not at war.

Like, with, you know, that fucking guy doesn't like me or fuck this people with that. I don't do that shit anymore. Yeah, we don't need that competitiveness. Fuck, there's no, like Louie said, you're not in competition with anybody except yourself. Yeah. That's it.

Yeah. Go right a show. Right. And you can have a show. Yeah. If you, you look at somebody with a TV show, go right one, stoop it, and make it good enough that someone wants to make it.

They're all my sworn enemies. Who? I'm just kidding. I'm still sticking with that. Wow, I have a lot of fun. I'm so glad that we're here at this festival the one of the reason I did it was Syndicate and laugh button live and the other one was because of this bubble right here Yeah, we always have fun at these things will do things for a reasonable price we do things hang out together You know what you know

It's not only do you get Robert Kelly here in gold minute this kind of price well We we did Atlanta last year, right? And we did something in Connecticut. We did something in Connecticut. But Atlanta, festival we did, and he called me up, he was like, dude, I got this gig, you wanna, I was like, I'll do it, the fucking hangout with the girl.

At that point, we had not spent a lot of time that year together. Yeah, I'd been on the road for 14 consecutive weeks, so I missed this guy. Yeah, because this this guy is like a human Anti-depressant. I always feel better And not because I'm comparing myself to him. He's just an up guys positive guy or anything like that I'm not an asshole. Yeah, we have we had such a good time. I'm looking at the load that's going between your guys I mean we do me and him used to fucking weight tables go to the cigar store after

buy a fucking books buy a punch yeah a truck child remember we split a box of puns for us child like gentlemen yeah and that we read comic books really good really good So guys they're mind me of a Cuban H. Uppman now but in america and they've got a little talk about the case of the community and the next cover of cigar officially and sort of a that chocolatey uh... uh... to it and settle a subtle nutty uh... hint of cinema

i think we can even do uh... uh... one off segment called cigar top bobby and gary now i don't think that's a spiny off that's trying to get you well this is a trying to, I'm trying to get you hit. Well this is the thing too, is that Dan comes in, he's fucking, he's here staying in some dudes apartment. I've known Dan since pretty much you got to New York, right? No, like two months in New York.

Yeah, because my ex lunatic, which one, fiance, okay, fiance. Okay, I mean this one was a world-class but she'll gonna That one was a deconstructed World will Christmas you're gonna come trying to shoot me I bet my life with this woman and and Dan was do you mind me saying this you get going? Was her assistant she manipulated me like a, you know what? She was saying it was so willing to do it.

But let me tell you something. It was about a hustling. You wanted to get more stage time. And why? She had plenty of stage time. And you would keep track of nights for her. Hang on, Gary, don't defend them. And you're not getting the talk next.

You don't get the talk next. The fact that I never knew you're another comics assistant Shut your face. Thank you. Shut your face. Yeah, well that makes it worse. That doesn't make it better Well, that's maybe that's how I learned how to be corporate Dan why don't you bring your show booker? Yeah Yeah, you're a show booker and and let me tell you let me tell you You're a gung-a-dun you're a little gung-a-dun. You're a little gung-a-dun. No, he's a crow Friday. That was... Oh, you're gonna take a beating at another state.

He's a bossley. He's bossley? He's bossley? From Charlie's Angels? Exactly. From Charlie's Angels. No, from Happy Deez, he's a Tom Boss. That was it.

Dan Soder hit the cough button. Was, what was your role? What happened is, I didn't open a mic. Yeah, I got really, I got manipulated. I want you to be my assistant. I was my second night, was my second night in the city. Yeah, you wanna talk about being manipulated by that woman?

You gotta inspire a house you cocks. Yeah, a farmhouse, right? Oh yeah, you move from the livestock in thecks. Yeah, farmhouse right? Oh, yeah, you move to the Woodstock. Yeah, you oh my god. So yeah, I didn't get the Ross deal. I'll just take a movie on a podcast that. I think I bought her a coffee one time. So I did an open mic.

Of course you did. Yeah, my second night in the city. Just say you did comedy. We get that was. We know you weren't on a pro show, Dan you were actually I saw some of your first shows in New York asked me how he was. Well, I was he didn't good One more hey, uh, did you see Dan? Dan Soto when he first started in New York? Oh, Listen, he had a potential which is he had a voice he had a voice and a voice

a flat face he had a fight he had a centaur face I like the 1600 lady so listen man I think he's handsome he's a handsome man yeah in the fucking Greek Roman days you have glad to get back on track listen because I want to hear I'm sorry, I'm very majestic time. I appreciate that. You have glad of it. Let's get back on track. Listen, I wanna hear, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I wanna, no, it's fucking beautiful. I wanna know why you never told me you were somebody who's persistent. Because it is literally, it is.

How long did it happen? For two months. Just answer five questions. For two months. How long did it happen? Two months. What were your, what did you have to do for her? I had to call, all I had to do was I had to call these,

these bringers, I didn't know what a bringer show was. She's like, call these comedians, they need five to 10 friends to get on stage. I would call these people during the day and I'd be like, hey, do you wanna do her show? Yeah, do you have five friends? Yeah, okay, well I'm gonna put you down for this date. And then I would get, she promised me

to give me as much stage time as I wanted. So she promised to give me stage time at least. That's it, yeah, that'm gonna put you down for this date. And then I would get, she promised me to, give me as much stage time as I wanted. So she promised to give me stage time at least. That's it. Yeah. That's all you did. Did you do anything else? Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this.

True or false, you referred to her as boss. No, false. True. False. True. You called her boss. I was there for it. You love the fucker.

I don't think I've ever heard of that. I don't think I've ever heard of that. I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second.

I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second.

I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there for a second. I was there to the talented. She had two other very talented boyfriends in her life.

She does. Hey, he's really good at that. Hey employee. Yeah. You called her. Just call me by my employee number. You call? Remember calling your boss.

I was like, you know who does? You know who does? My fucking, one of my best friends who never lies. And you know what? And those were some foggy times because I was doing a lot of booze and Joe listen, I was doing a lot of drink. I was like, a drunk. Yeah. No, I'm gonna ask you this. This I don't know the answer to, so you're on your honor. Because I was doing a lot of booze and Joe listen I would do it a lot of drunk. Yeah

This I don't know the this I don't know the answer to see you're on your honor. Yeah Did she ever teach you comedy? Did you know fuck no, but she did teach comedy? She talked comedy Did you take the class? No, you have asked your advice? Did you ever ask your advice? Absolutely not because I never I don't take advice from anybody who have never seen perform comedy You never saw her perform No, how did you become her assistant? She ran an open mic and then she was like and she said she didn't phrase it With do you want to be my assistant? She phrased it with do you want to help me book a show and I go well What does that mean and she goes you could call these people then I'll put you up every month I'll put you up every Monday you get a drink for free and I was a drunkard as Gary brought up. And she's like, you get to perform at Stand Up New York, it's almost at its peak.

It was an unbelievable club. I was watching Patrice on you. I got in, I met Wayne and a bunch of people at the club. They started giving me check spots. So it was an A. Okay, okay, okay, stop fucking, but defend yourself. Stop putting glitter on it.

I was manipulated like, and the people coming off a boat and they're like, do you wanna be a dishwasher? I'm like, I just want to have a job here. We're gonna have you sit in the fucking, you're used to the heat. So why don't you just go back in the kitchen and watch Pans and go, I don't know that I'm doing,

but I want to pitch it. And that's I did. And then finally I was like, fuck to shit. Tell the people at home what a cheque spot is. Does that know what a cheque spot is? I hate this brutal. Basically what you do is in New York, the Showcase clubs, they have eight comedians on on the show, and all the bills have to be paid.

So what they do is, after one of the comedians, the waitresses drop checks on every one of the tables. And the MC brings up a new comic, like myself, and you go up and just get the shit out of you for five to ten minutes. Unless you can't tell whether any of your jokes work. Well, you get, I will recommend it to every new comedian because you get, you get tough quick and you learn what once you learn how to read a book. I disagree with that. I don't think that, I don't think that how, I mean, look, if it will filter out who's a comic and not, but I think good crowds actually help you

right become a good comic. Shit crowds, shit crowds help you to be becoming a shit comic. Help you shit crowd comic. Help you develop things that could hurt you in the long run, you know, things like, hey, fuck you, all that, that crowd work shit. But I wouldn't, I mean, like, some of my favorite comedians are part products of having to do really late night spots. You know

what really good at it? Ben Bailey and Russ Maniv, when they used to have to host the Boston, when they weren't working the seller, Ben Bailey was the guy over there. He became, went from an okay comic that got some laughs to fucking really funny by just being the guy over there at that became, went from an okay comic that got some laughs to fucking really funny by just being the guy over there at that fucking shit club. And Russ Maniv did the same thing. Russ Maniv became very, very funny by doing that. Well, I was kind of the guy, eventually I just became the kind of the, the, the film guy at St. up New York, where I would just sit at the bar and wait for someone to show up and

no one was, if everyone was there, they put me up for checks. checks but then the MCs I became cool enough with whoever's I'm seeing that they would do the first two minutes. So then some people would be paying attention and I could go up and focus on those people get them laughing and learn it kind of did teach me how to read a crowd to see who was paying attention to me. Yeah I mean look at doing good actually I mean in front of a good crowd actually makes you become a better comic too because you can see where your joke does work. Yeah, it's legitimate like this is a funny joke. This one isn't Yeah, you know, yeah, but those first two months were rough Right, but you got me

It's a rough being a comic or being an assistant What was what rougher Being a being a comics assistant or being a comics assistant or being a comic You what being your boss no one you know to talk to your boss You said it you're the one who actually said I don't want to call their boss I mean it might have been like a term of indermine you were being sweet and I understood that you didn't really think of her as boss Yeah, I think I might yeah, it's newer charming kids who are nice He's corporate Dan he's fucking corporate Dan I think I might, I think I might, cause yeah. It's newer charming kids who are nice. I don't listen to you probably.

He's corporate Dan. He's fucking corporate Dan. Well, that's not a lie. You're corporate Dan. Yeah. But it was, Wow. Well, that's what we call me.

I am corporate Dan. Yeah. I'm very corporate. Yeah. I'm all yes or no serves. Makes sense. It was, you know what? Not the right though.

It was, it was a lot to take in considering that, you know, I had seen you on TV a bunch. And that's a weird thing for a comic that, if you don't know any comedians and you're young and you moved to New York and you're just trying to do stand up, you're around guys that you were watching on TV. And that is pretty cool. And you're like, what the fuck? You know, like, I was in a cab with you and I'm like, what the fuck am I in a cab with? You know what I mean? It was in a cab with you and I'm like what the fuck am I the cab with you know I mean that's it was like a weird thing as you should be though as you should Yeah, I get star struck when you first moved to New York. I got star struck in Boston

Okay, yeah, I don't even know his name. He's a black comic. He had a fucking What a little thing that you're ding ding what are those little little mouth picks? Yeah, I don't know what those are called I don't know it those are called. I don't know what they're called. It's not a homodigably. Bang, bang, bang, you're flicking. Oh, I don't know. Some fucking blues grass shit, right? He did this joke.

I remember I had a drive him, and he made me drive him in my shitty dotsin' to the gig in, to ADC? No, even shitty, a Ford or a ship box. I had holes in the floor and everything, and I remember I had a CD of my set at Catcher Rising Star, my first show ever,

and I remember I put it in the cassette player for him to listen to, and I kind of hijacked him in, like giving him a ride and maybe listen to my comedy. Yeah, it was, It was, dude, it was bad. It was bad. Yeah, it was bad If I had this tape now and I remember him going look man Look man

Look you just I don't know what to tell you man You just got to find your tempo bro when he talked about tempo. He's like comedy's a tempo and he kept going Frank keep going like some people like this Some people like this. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't But that's if I have it, it's not something that I went out there to it's your internal rhythm to develop it's your internal tempo It's the way you it's what you've What you've developed what you did over years and years of being comfortable on stage and the way it's they call it your voice your internal tempo The way you deliver your jokes and the Rhythmatic is that a word? Yeah, well.

Rhythmic way. Rhythmic. Rhythmic. Rhythmic way. That's it. Are you saying kind of like, so like, uh, Danny just correct you without being an ass.

Yeah. Go ahead, sweetheart. He is a nice guy. But, do you think, does, do you think you're taking into account the, the audience's reaction with the rhythm, or is it all your, or are they reacting to your rhythm, or are you adjusting your rhythm with the audience? No with the rhythm, or is it all, or are they reacting to your rhythm,

or are you adjusting your rhythm with the audience? Are you playing the audience? Well, if that's a good question. Listen, I think that, first of all, you are playing the laughs. Is some clout, when you do you special, when I did my first comedy central thing, I didn't ever expect the crowd to be that good.

So rehearsing and rehearsing and rehearsing it, I was doing great, but the crowds at a club, their laugh was different. So when I got there, they were so good, they were laughing really hard at the setup. And then the punch hit, I forgot to do some tags because the setup was the laugh for the punch, and then the punch was a big laugh,

and then I was like, I'm out, because I don't usually get, I get boom, boom, boom. So the blowback, it was almost like a blowback. Yeah, it's like that the crowd's tempo was a little different than mine. I didn't know how to control that with my tempo. I didn't know how to go take a sip of water and chill the fuck out and no one to drop that next line

and let them laugh and let them do it. But yeah, I think you definitely have a tempo now. You have the way you deliver jokes, the way something will rattle at you. Yeah, I watched you at the seller there, and I, yeah, you have a tempo. You definitely have a- We all do, we all do.

Yeah, he has one, but you can develop it, but now can you take your shit and throw it in front of any crowd, anywhere, anytime, and for any amount of time, for an hour or two, you can, I can, Dan, I don't know, probably right now can, but that's when you learn to be a pro, when you go up there, I think, and you make them adapt to what you're saying.

No matter who's on before you, who's in the crowd, if they know you or not. You were something with following people, and I heard this from Tony V from Boston. Oh, it was a fucking great comic. Such a great comic. God damn it. Don't try to match the person before you. No. Energy. No. Bring them back down to yours. Yeah. And start over. I always I had some of the best advice. I watch a tell the seller, and no matter who's in front of him,

he'll come on and he'll just tone it down and then get him right into, and his tempo's obviously like the, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, like it's like that fucking noticeable, yeah, fuck. Yeah, to watch him. Yeah, he's got a beautiful rhythm. He does.

Yeah, I mean, I noticed my rhythm. I'm sorry for the sound guys who are listening to this. It might be a little off. Not as perfect as you usually have it, because I'm using the zoom. We're kind of old-school in it, back with the zoom in a room. But you know, this microphone is real hot. These two are trying to bring them up. But okay.

Anyways, yeah, I'm noticing now, especially listening to my sets, my tempo. And sometimes it's off. Sometimes it's fun like, oh my God, who the fuck is that right now? My tempo's off and you can feel it. You're doing six shows. One of those shows is gonna be, I just fell off the bike, I fell off.

Like something happened. The only thing I think that is, is it seems off when there's a smaller crowd because you can't hear how you're playing. No, really? I've had the best shows in my life in front of 30 people. And the next night sold out two shows and something, it just didn't feel right.

Well, it wasn't the same because I stepped on the gas too much. Okay. Because I didn't, I didn't breathe. I didn't, hey, let's, what do, I'm doing it this, at this pace, no matter what you do. Yeah. No matter what, I know you're gonna laugh. I know what to do. I got you.

I got you. So I'm doing it my way. Like most guys talk slower or move slower as they get more experience and confidence. I don't I used to. Yeah, I used to swam ramble through the shit so fast. Do you remember me? I used to fucking run around. Yeah, I used to run around. I used to come off stage at the seller sweating. Yeah, with, you know, just I put the mic down

And that wasn't because I was fat it was cuz I would just went Good night walk 15 minutes and just level the place I was always impressed with Another guy in Boston Frank Sanarelli. Oh my god. Who would stick the mic mic in the stand keep it there Stand almost as far back as you could on the stage and own every centimeter of the room That's weird because I remember when I first moved to New York You said that you said something along the lines of like you were you wish you could learn how to do that Just put the mic in the stand. Yeah, you said you you Equivalated it to being in a pool and holding the sides of the edges of the pool Yeah, you said if you can let go of that mic stand and not touch the mic stand or the mic,

that's like you're just swimming in the deep end. If you just leave it in there, I like the light. I, I, yeah, that's real though, right? Leaving the mic in the mic stand for me, I can do it now, but I, I, I can, I can also take it out and stand still. Yeah. Um, I can stand in the middle of the stage. And sometimes, here's the thing, is sometimes I forget that part of me is performance. I'm a performer. Right.

I forget now because I can get laughs on just delivering my jokes. I forget that, hey man, get into it a little bit. I get into it. I need to kind of move around a little bit. And I think it's, to be honest, not to be a fucking, it's my weight. You know what I mean? Yeah, well, I heard, I've been listening to my sets

because I'm trying to get this hour together. How long have you been listening to sets? Because that wasn't something you always did at the beginning of. I've always done it, but not to not for real. Now I'm like, I'm going through my sets. And do you turn and scribe the shit? I do write it down.

What I do is I go through the set, I did six sets last week, I'm going through them, it's awful. I'll take out the best, like this joke worked. Take it out and I'll, literally take the audio track out, cut it out, put it down somewhere else. And then transcribe that joke, word for word.

What do you use garage band? Garage band, yeah. And then transcribe that joke. Word for word. What do you use garage band? Garage band. Yeah. And then transcribe that joke. And then like I'm doing Reno in two weeks. I'm doing Tuesday to Sunday just to do the time. Great. So hopefully next week, I'll be able to have a we'll club will that be at so we can plug that. That's going to be it. The silver fucking something casino silver fucking something It's that catcher rising star I've never been to Reno. I'm fucking scared. I'm really scared the tines biggest city and I I'm scared, but I'm so interested because I love ghosts and I love the old West and I want to go I want to shoot a six shooter on to shoot a shoot a shoot gun a Tucson Tucson Arizona. Yeah, you get under tombstone Arizona. Yeah, but who oh, boogity boogity. It's fucking fun

Why is that what you know? I went to college there really that's our story comedy was in Tucson At last casino. What is that no last cafe? Yeah, but you did radio Yeah, but I was doing stand-up too. I did radio first. You wanted to be a radio guy first. No, I wanted to do stand-up, but I thought radio would help me get over the fear of listening to my own voice.

Really? Yeah. Why wouldn't you love to listen to your voice? Because I hated it. I still hate watching myself. I hate all of that. And then I just radio. I was working at Outback Steakhouse.

I worked two shifts. I needed a job. I had no money. And I kept applying at this radio station. I was like at Outback's stay-couse. I worked two shifts. I needed a job, I had no money, and I kept applying at this radio station. I was like, let me work. I gave him my tape from my college radio station, and I was bothering him, bothering him. They interviewed me, didn't hear back from him for like three months, I get hired at Outback.

And I'm like, can I be a waiter? And they're like, now you're gonna be a bus boy. And I was 19, and I had a 14 year old training me. And he's like, um, so when you take this table. He was the my kid on the Simpson. Yeah, I was. and I had a 14 year old training me and he's like, um, so when you take this table He was the my kid on the Simpson. Yeah, I was really was just I just think and then I was like, dude, I've been busing tables for years. I don't Only five teenagers. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And he's like, um, well, you kind of have to do these things and I did two shifts the radio station calls me up and they're like, you wanna do midnight to 6 a.m. on the weekends.

And I'm like, yeah, and I fucking... 6 a.m. is that 6 a.m.? In the morning? A.m. Wow. Yeah. 12 a.m. What was the worst, what's the worst job

you have had Gary go? Worst job I ever had? Worst job. I'm talking Worst job. You worked at Sears Hardware. Yeah. Which where? At the North Shore Mall and P.B.D. Massachusetts Really? That's a big sears. Wow, you don't know that I've been to P body mass you see body

I have the thing the anchor of the North Shore Mall at the time Really, but I became very friendly with the my mom got me the job because she was the cafeteria lady at sears There's a cafeteria at sears. There was. There was. There isn't anymore now. It's just like a vending machine. It was a revolution. When did it? for throwing the football around in the stock room. Really? Yeah. That's some strict policy to have. Well, he wanted to talk to me and I just got nervous and I just stopped going in.

You got nervous. You got nervous. Talk to you. I was like, I don't want to tell my mother or something like that. Really? What's the worst job you ever had? Probably working on the docs in Alaska. What?

Yeah. I'm sorry. I did that for a So you know what I you know, it's really aggravating me about you You've been on my fucking show. Yeah for fucking months now. Yeah, okay, and I'm finding out you're an assistant Women's assistant what he's been on the show for months now. It's been months since I've been on the show But you're not around dude. You're you're on the road. Well, it's really in the same city. Yeah, but you're you're not around dude I'm right. You're you're on the road. Oh, he's what's he doing fucking On to I wish him now we know find out you were fucking

You were doing you would tell his crab. No, I did Sam and howl bit and cod same shit. No, it's not you were The crab guys are out of their fucking heads and they do that in the winter and that's if you do that shit You're on meth, okay, so you know that's what the crab guys say about the same The fucking crab guys like like you're doing fucking salmon They like look at you like a fuck. I don't give a shit. So what did you do? What was your job? I was on the quote unquote the doc crew So what I did you didn't have to do the quotes I just I was on the quote unquote, the doc crew. So what I did was you didn't have to do the quotes.

I just did because I love quote unquote. You don't have to do the quotes and the quote unquote. I like it. I like overkill. I like overkill. I like proof of point. Explain yourself. Well, he made the quote thing.

Yeah, he's asking. And then he also said quote unquote, like Bobby and I don't know what quote unquote is. I was on. You can just say it to the the dark. Yeah, we get it. I held my hands down. Yeah, and actually that's not even a quote unquote situation. That's what it's called. It's not a figure of speech. You know what? There's a

Gary Gellman is the smottos man. I know. Fuck Greg Greg Proops. Gary Gellman. Smottos man in the world. He's a intelligent man. Very smart guy. Good looking and smart. And those glasses, those are real. He doesn't, they're not fake like a lot of the stuff at South by Southwest glasses.

Oh my God. They're not fake prescriptions. Gary needs those. I need this for night to drive at night. Do you want to talk about that panel after we're finished? We will. Absolutely. So the worst, what I had to do was two things.

Yeah. The worst thing ever that I had to do was two things. Yeah, the worst thing ever That I had to do that nothing will ever be worse than this is they kind of did like a try out for us to see who's gonna Make the dog crew. Okay, so we showed up the first day they gave us a pickaxe and two shovels. There's three of us Yeah, they said there's PVC pipe about six four and a half to six feet down on the ground It runs for 60 yards dig that up all day So we just dug that up all day. We did that for about three days until it was dug up.

They replaced the PVC pipe. Then they had a bunch of halibut come in. They cut off all the heads of halibut as they were flaying them. And it was my job to take these toots, these big plastic toots that fill a thousand pounds of fish, all halibut heads. And I had to take them and throw them in this grinder that was on the docks to crush the bones and send them out to seas of the seagulls would eat

them. So I spent eight hours just taking all these fish heads and throwing them into the grinder. It was like a splash bag of the eyes popping in the grinder and shooting in your face and like you're blood all over. Yeah you're around death all day and you're on a lot you're around a lot of Filipinos on meth. That's fun too. No, it's not Oh, some of those guys I'm sorry. I'm sorry Mexicans. Yeah, meth and meth had Mexicans are fun. Yeah, not Filipinos And then I just I would take two go and breaking bad Some of those guys yes really some of those guys right some of those guys were fucking frightening and

16 hours a day seven days a week 16 hours a day. Yeah, you wait seven days a week. 16 hours a day, seven days a week. Seven days a week. Wait a second. That's the hardest stop. Wake up at eight, you had to be on the dock by 7.45. You don't have to stop. 16 hours a day is illegal. They don't give a shit.

Where was it? Alaska. Alaska what? T-9. Right in the cook inlet. What was the hourly wage? 750, but then anything over eight, anything over eight, you got time in a half.

Why did you go there? Toad of money. I was in college. I was in between my freshman and sophomore year. I made a lot of money. Middle a lot of money. He but how did you stay sane? Uh, poor.

You're dreaming about this shit while you're sleeping. So you're never away from it for seven days a week. Now, and sometimes we drink, you get done at midnight. Right. Someone would go by like an 18 pack of beer and we'd all have like six, but you'd have to drink it like 45 minutes. And I was like, I was like 18 or 19, so I just throw it up because I was just putting so much suds in my body. And we just smoked a lot of pot, we worked all the time. But you know what? And this is, I really attribute it, that's where I learned that I was like, I think I could maybe do stand up comedy because I was in

a room with all these, I was in a room with all these I was in a room with all these These backwoods Alaskan dudes Crushing just making them laugh making front of the people we worked with wow just riffing and I was kind of like Maybe and then this can't be harder than any crowd that I'd work. Yeah, it was just like these toothless guys I'm man the Philippines do talk like that. I'm just like I would love to see him be famous in only Alaska I would love to see him be famous in only Alaska. I don't know. Alaska, gorgeous in the summer. Alaska is one of my favorite places I've ever been.

You ever been to Alaska? I've ever been. Nice people on the fucking planet. They're really nice. They've got like down south, like, niceness. Oh, yeah. But the middle of fucking nowhere. And they all get money, too.

They all get money, right? Yeah, because you moved there. You get $1,700 immediately. Yeah. Because of the oil that's in Alaska. Yeah. When you become an Alaska resident, you get money too. They all get money, right? Yeah, because you moved there. You get $1,700 immediately. Yeah. Because of the oil that's in Alaska. Yeah.

When you become an Alaska resident, you get money, like immediately. Let me tell you about my two bosses though, because they are the worst. One of them, there was Lou and Lynn. Lou was just literally the most ruffian. He had a full beard. He always had Copenhagen in his lip.

And he would eat with it, with the dip in. Wow. You gotta love that. He went fishing for halibut, which is extremely hard because they do iron casts. Like when they cast out, it's like straight up tough shit. He did that for fun for his vacation. He was our dock boss. He was the biggest idiot I've ever met in my life. But Lynn, Lynn was from the city where we were, the town we were working in. And on the top of his mouth he had teeth right like on the left side but then right in the middle on the top of his teeth it just went to gum on the right side but on his bottom side on the left on the right side he had teeth on the bottom and then middle

the puzzle to gum so it was a perfect clasp right and I couldn't tell the difference between two types of salmon between red and Chums and they would always bust my balls like this. This they always call you a southern from the States. Yeah, the Well, this other this Southern you can't tell the difference between red and a chum and one day I finally figured it out. This guy taught me goes look, there's a little silver in the tail and you notice the bell is a little fatter and I finally found out how to read it. So they're busts' my balls one day when they're comin' around like, damn, can't even tail the difference

between a red and a chum. And I go, actually, I had an epiphany, and I learned how they stop and they look at each other and they go, oh, what? The haperiaid? Well, that's it. And they made no, their joke made no sense. And I was like, these are some of the dumbest

motherfuckers I've ever met in my life. I'm gonna stay in school. I'm gonna get my college degree. That was the worst job I ever had. Almost one of the worst stories you ever told too. Listen, Gary. The first was weren't detaining. I thought there was a big and pay off coming. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Yeah you went. The next time you tell that story, The next time you tell that story, the guy Lynn had braces on the remaining tea. Yeah, the book just on the bottom. Yeah, the guy that taught you how the difference between the halibut fucked you in the ass. Like, that's how he taught you, just to make it more interesting.

Yeah, it made you just suck this guy. You're a gasoline. Gary, so today we announced, we're gonna say, well, you're right, Dan, where that story took it out of you, too Didn't it telling it oh god, that was fucking taxing Well, no, I love your past just you we were in and out we were out we were going over to another story And you went one more thing before we go I got to tell you about the two people It's the best thing ever and I was like they never fucking fucks up with stories

He's got voices and good stories. You could use that garage band technique I used to take you things take that I really story. I really hope he came. Oh my god I'll tell you what I'll be listening next Lin And I thought Lynn was a girl too when you said Lynn. You didn't tell me was a guy Blue and Lynn you know what everyone messes up sometimes and I apologize most Monster voice, you're absolutely right. You're right. Now shut your face. And what point did you know that that story was failing? Right at the beginning. Right when I launched into it.

I can see in his eyebrows. I felt a deep mouth. His eyebrows went up and stayed up. Right at the beginning. I know how to sell shit. So yeah, we're at South by Southwest or SXSW. Yeah. Um, because X means...

Everybody else in the world is much more of where of its presence and prestige than we are. I don't think we get it. I think I don't get it. I didn't get it until today. And then I realized how big it was. And last night was fun, man. We showed up last night. We went to see an awesome new band that we love.

Yeah, called Little Hurricane. Little Hurricane. It's kind of white stripey. Yeah. Or the black keys kind of. Hot chicken of drum. Hot chicken of drum and a new playing guitar. And a cool ass. Just a two piece.

Robo Palmer motherfucker playing guitar. But then he played a guitar that was also laying down on a table. Yeah, we were talking about that early. It's slide. Yeah, that's what Joe DeRose is fucking doing shows in the South right now. They have one of those guys up before. Meow, meow, meow, meow.

Yeah, Roadhouse guitar. That was really good. Unfuckin' believable. It's hard to hear a band you've never heard before and get into their groove right away and they fucking grabbed us. Oh my God. Are they gonna be, I wanna see them.

Oh yeah, they're actually gonna fly. I'm gonna fly you too. I'll show you the fly. Ha, little hurricane. Fucking great. We would, I mean, just everybody, you look at everybody in the crowd and they're just looking at them like fucking gods.

And he was just going off and he was into it. He was fucking great. So we met him after and we took a photo. Such presence on this guy on stage. But after he owned this room, that was very distracted. Yeah, very distracted. There's Taco Bell. The new Taco Bell. The new Taco Bell?

The Taco Bell. It's a Dorito shell. What? It's the shell is fucking Dorito. Dorito. It's the original Dorito. They're doing courage. The courage is coming.

Now it's not your cheese. Not your cheese shell. That is ingenuity. And they're sponsoring the comedy show that we're doing tonight. Wait, we get Dorito talk Yeah, to the owner took way longer than it needed to We've had both these things we've had Doritos we've had tacos Like they took them down a notch. It's the same phenomenon that happened with sweet potato fries

Yeah, sweet potato fries is a new millennium invention both of those things have existed Sweet potato I like that you're genuinely bothered by this. That's irritating same with Sunday night football Dan Yeah, we've had Sundays we've had football. Why do we just get the sun? Tadotts Sweet sweet sweet potato Tadotts Wow not good sweet. Oh, I didn't even know they existed. They do at Sonic Burger. Oh, yeah. At Sonic Burr, sweet but brand new, sweet potato tattatats. No good. Tattatat has to be regular. Salty, too sweet. It's like eating candy. Don't get it. Anyway, his fat tips by Bob Kelly.

Dun dun dun dun. So yeah, we go outside. we take a photo with them. We're kind of a little fanny, you know, whatever. They were cool though, we talked to them. And it was great hanging outside, because we're meeting the fucking, one of the dudes at Google, the head, the Myspace President, dude walks up. Some guy from Seagate Hard drives, and you know, the guy, the syndicate guys, and Matt from our laugh button, Jack Vaughan comes up.

I mean, it's a fucking really cool, kinda fucking hang out in front of the club last night, meeting all these cool people. And, you know, Ellis, Chris Ellis was, they were really kinda being real cool that introduces this people and putting us over. You know, like, this is Robert Kelly, this is Gary Goman, there are guys

that doing the show, blah, blah, blah. We met a lot of cool people last night. And then, so today we went out, Gary had a, what is it? What is a panel? A panel. He did a panel. Oh, okay. Four guys, usually.

Explain the panel, guys. There's like six people, and they were all somehow involved in comedy tours instead of just one guy, a few guys in a related thing. So the guy who produced the comedians of comedy was there Eugene Merman who is a part of the comedians of comedy and then something called the stand-up tour with Michael Schoelalter and Leo Allen. I think that's the same thing. So Fiendy can learn from your tunes. Fiendy from comedy clubs, not you know theaters or rock and roll clubs

Not comedy club tours. Yeah, themed tours like a group of comics going out together Yeah, and Gary of this the girl. I don't know who the girl was girl She was from her name was Christine Levine. She was from the unbookables. Oh, it's Doug Stannos Okay, yeah, it seemed to be like Doug Stann hope presents Yeah, and he really liked them, so he put them over, but geniuses. He felt they were geniuses, which, that's a word that gets thrown around a lot too frequently. Oh, no. That's a big word.

Yeah. No, that's a big, I think genius, I think time machine. I think, wow, you see that star up there? Oh, really inventive time machine. That star up there? Yeah. It's around fucking 50 light years away. This is how long it would take there.

This is what going on over there. We can't live there because it's made of this. How did you know that? I'm a genius. That's what I think. Not like, not somebody who's had a fucking club shit face going, you know what, rapers in that bad. They're getting a laugh off it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I like that. I like you're like you're almost fucking real. I mean, look, dude, we're

gonna make a deadly more reference. I think rap was the final frontier in comedy a couple years ago, but now it's it's like there's a franchise of rape jokes. It really is. It's popping up all over. Well, here's the deal. I think that certain comics are fucking brilliant. Yeah. Oh, really funny. I would use I think that certain comics are fucking brilliant. Yeah. Or really funny. I would use the word brilliant before I used to. Yeah. Yeah. You know, like Stanhope's fucking brilliant. Yeah. Brilliant. I mean, his new album, his new album. You know, his story is so fucking, I didn't know I knew Stanhope before I knew Stanhope.

You know, Dane was in the San Francisco comedy festival with him. Yeah, yeah, Stanhope won. Yeah. And I knew about Stanhope before I knew about Stan Hope. Yeah, but we heard the side of the person who came in second to him. Right. But he was still, I mean, it was still, Stan Hope was funny like this guy,

and then he sold his car, and I mean, I don't know how much of it's true, but he's got a story behind him that's actually like, what the fuck? You know what I mean? It's kind of a cool story, even though it's probably fucking changed over the years he sold his car,

had to move back into his car and then fucking lived in the woods. And, you know, I don't know, but I respect guys who live, like you say, fuck it, I'm living in Arizona. He lives like right outside of Tucson. That's such a, when somebody goes, I'm not doing it your way,

because you don't, first of all, you're gonna fuck me anyways. You're gonna, I'm not doing it your way, because you don't, first of all, you're gonna fuck me anyways. You're gonna, I'm not gonna, there's gonna be a day where I'm gonna be fucked. So I'm just gonna go my own way now. So go fuck yourself. And that's what I loved about this thing.

And that was the question I asked that Eugene, you guys don't work comedy clubs. You guys are working these other clubs, these rock and roll clubs. it's like, fuck. I mean, we did that at Lanna last year, we did these side clubs, we didn't do any real comedy club chains. Yeah.

And we fucking filled them up and we had a blast. We had fun. And I'm so, I want this to happen so badly that like how much fun do we have when we do a show together? Blast. Yeah, I mean, why can't like- Or after the drive is awesome, the drive back is awesome.

And it's not a fucking comedy club. It's there's no, there's not these, you know, these fucking kind of hot waitresses who don't give a fuck about your show. They just care about their fucking tips. You know, jam and drinks down people's throats. Some, you know, 19 year old down people's throats. Yeah. Some, you know, 19 year old door girl who's letting shit face people get in front of her

all because that's what I like. We have fun. They'll be fun. You can fuck with them. Eugene made this point. He was like, yeah, comedy club is sort of a structure based in 1975 to around the early 90s. And what did he say that we should have evolved past that are that we have we

have evolved past that i have to be the the situation and i have to be the you don't have to be dealing with somebody selling bonus chicken and well and the one guy who ran comedians a comedy he said i've been spoiled by seeing comedy shows at at rock clubs i can't go back to the comedy clubs now. Well, I don't look certain, certain comedy clubs I have fun at, but I think comedy clubs, it would be, it would be who you to get to the point where you don't have to work them.

So when you do work them, you can work the ones you want and you can also work as many shows as you want. That's the one thing that sucks is that when you do these alternative venues, you can work them one night. Yeah, and make two. And Eugene said you make two thirds of what you would have made for doing seven shows a week in this place. Yeah, and then you work seven shows at the same club.

They're literally stretching you out as far as they can stretch you. No chance to make any bonus or have a crowd. So now they gotta give tickets away, just because they gotta make the liquor, it's totally not for you. It's to benefit, it's to pay rent, and make money and pay for your boat.

You know, it's not your condo, it's not. And then they blame you. It's like, wait a minute, build me a fucking fan base. Let me come in, I'd rather come in on a Wednesday Do one show give me 75 80% of the door and I'll I'll promote the fuck out of that Wednesday A lot of people do I know Maria Bamford will only come in on off nights. So she only gets her audience Yeah, I don't want I'd rather take 300 people over seven nights and put them on one show and make the same money almost. But it's a risk because if you don't, you're fucked

and you're not working the club, you're not working either. Or so I think these rock venues are actually, I was really interested in that. I thought that was a really interesting part of that whole thing. But it was sad because they put this thing in a 300 seat room. It should have been in a 50 seater.

Yeah. And they didn't really promote it well. Yeah, it was not promoted, but I had a lot of fun on that panel area. And I feel like this could be a new sideline for me that I'll be the guy who is the, you know, I can do podcasts, I mean, that's clear. I can do the stand up.

Jack of all trades. But then I also have this panelist outlet. And, and let me tell you at this point It doesn't pay well It doesn't pay it's been spew I haven't found a way to monetize the panel thing But I think this is gonna lead to other panels and the next thing you know I'm the guy who maybe I'm not anchoring the panel, but I'm a solid complimentary member of the panel Yeah, it was actually a fun it was I was right I sat right up front the panel, but I'm a solid complimentary member of the panel. Like a hit? Yeah.

It was actually a fun, I sat right up front. Yeah. And I, But here's the thing, there were some people even though it was practically empty, who were sitting waiting the back. They couldn't get good seats.

Yeah. Like some of the people were actually important people in the business that came to see it. And they don't wanna sit right up front as to you know who they are and be like a fucking, business. Oh, okay. That came to see it. And they don't want to sit right up front as to you know who they are and be like, I fucking right, right, right. You know, make you feel uncomfortable. Yeah, but I pointed them out like the guy who runs the

bunch. Oh, yeah. How many festivals? Yeah, the guy who runs my job. He's like, Hilly. Yeah, Bruce Hill is a fucking great guy. When I first met him, I was so nervous to meet that. You know, when somebody goes, that's the guy who runs, he like, but it couldn't be any nicer. Down to earth. And his any nicer down to earth and his wife down to earth and so is wife a little coach

You like hey, how you doing? It's like why are you talking to me? Yeah, yeah really nice people I think is going on there what he's Canadian Yeah, they're nicer people that are nice people. They're so decent the crowds of fucking nice Yes, very really have ever fucking blocked a Canadian off a Twitter. Yeah, if just one guy, Canadian Dan, I think his name is. If this kid's a success, and Montreal comedy festival, is any indication of Canadian artists? And these people are very generous.

They are very. Not only that, but they're homeless people who are bilingual. It's amazing. Oh, that's true. And Montreal. Why are you through that little fucking singer in there? Just because you're homeless doesn't mean you're not In the knowledge into wow in most cases Usually means you're addicted to something or mentally ill or just don't want to fucking deal

Oh, like the outdoors Right, I live it rough Yeah, that was actually pretty fun. Then we went to the I was doing it. We were we were talking about the to the, I was doing it, we were talking about the floor. No, the floor we went to. What was that called? The showroom floor. Oh, the showroom floor. We got some free stuff in the bar.

We, Kelly, is. Oh God. Here's what I feel. I feel that Bob Kelly, if we needed to get a ride and there was nothing else available, could convince somebody to lend us his car for the rest of the day. I'm telling you, man.

Yeah. I was walking around with a semi because it was all new tech, and not even just the crazy, like the Moe fee or, you know, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the I actually promote that set Gary noticed that it was a bandalier. That's all I described. I'm gonna actually promote this next week. I'm gonna be promoting the run, I'm gonna be going over on Tech Talk next week the runner and a couple other things that I saw today. But this week I actually did the, and you got one. You got a Moffy case.

Yeah. You got the 2001, which is a little, a little more battery life than me. And you got, what is it, orange? They called it orange, it's reddish orange, and this guy from Moffy, here's the thing, I didn't want it at first, it extends your battery life, and it's very thin, you wouldn't even know it's on there, unless somebody told you it was on there,

and it doubles your battery life in your phone. But here's what I was thinking while this was going on. Why, we don't deserve this do we don't deserve this? We don't deserve this kind of technology. I shouldn't be able to watch movies on the on the bus and on the plane and all these things We're not grateful and we're and we're really bad people speak for yourself. I don't fuck up my tech mojo I'm a man. I need this or I want to kill somebody or fuck somebody See what I mean my marriage you what I mean. All right guys is murderous Looner tech is a lunatic Robert Kelly's a lunatic or that is technology. Oh my god

This is dating with blue screws. This is my Craigslist. This is my Craigslist. This is my fucking pizza the fact that I was walking through there today I could have came here and just did that. I've never been to a tech expo floor before. I've never seen that. This isn't the main. This is the first of all. And I imagine what you would be like at the what do you call the? The C.C.C. Yes. Here's a thing. Consumer electronics. If I ever, we're Here's the electronic show. Consumer electronics.

If I ever, we're not when, when, because I want to put fucking positive things out there, when, then that out to the universe, Robert. I'm going to stand it out and leave it there, because the walls of black and delay, no crumble away, I now fulfill my destiny. Florence, govoshin. The game of life and how to play it. We'll have Florence on the show next week, which is dead. Oh, God. Sorry, yeah. Which, which which is really gonna be hard to manifest

She's no longer with us So we did think we did the house of field and be have competitive voices I actually enjoy it. It's nice right? It's like a jam session You do you you do yours and you do your Indian and switch back It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session.

It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session.

It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. It's like a jam session. a movie playing in Indian. Yes, chiefs of gribe. For I have came from a land far from my own, I rode the iron eagle through the sky to a land

where I can tell jokes to other braves and witness. Tribes unlike my own. For I live off the maze of the land. Yeah, that's crazy talk. No, I'm serious. No, no, no, that's my brother. His name is crazy talk. His actual real name's Bow, but we call him Crazy Talk.

He works at the Circle k over by the reservation it's good dude but I just didn't just want no shan my white Indian my white Indian he'd be perfect to this festival so we go on the floor today me and go and go you know you could give a fuck really you don't really you you It's cool. All right, so we go on the floor today, me and Gull.

And Gull, you know, you could give a fuck really. You don't really, you like it, but you're not as me. You're not walking around. I'm overwhelmed and I don't understand. Yeah, I, I know everything. I walked up to people like, they had the waterproof case, which I own two of them already. I've given gifts away and I know everything about it.

I walked up and talked to them. I want to bobb Bobby interact with people for hours It's amazing. He's the most charismatic. He gets excited. You know what's beautiful about him? The enthusiasm Genuine enthusiasm I'm a sugar But you don't put people off now you're not off no way. You're not in aggressive and in people's faces Nope, no the fine line to walk. Yeah, the tightrope. Yeah, but I do it in a China shop. No, yeah, not you're a sweetie All right, you're a big sweet guy. I just feel if I tried to get stuff for free

People get right. Yeah, but here's a deal. They want to give you stuff for free They want you to promote their product. I'm helping them. The fact that I'm mentioning Moffie, and you have one too, you love it. I love this coffee. How fucking great is it? And it's also a great case. Beautiful case. Yeah, so fucking go get the goddamn Moffie.

And that way, we'll look at, we just told 30,000 people to go get a fucking case. And 10 of those people are gonna do it. Mo P H I E. I'm just so fee. Yeah, so fee or Mofi. And you got the extended one. Have you heard the sports announcer who referred to choosing between Andrew Luck and Peyton

Manning for the Indianapolis coach? He called it a real Sophie's choice. No, I didn't. Yeah, thank you. Thank you for trivializing the Holocaust by comparing to outstanding quarterbacks to choosing between you two. Why? Why would you do that? Sophie are we going to do now?

Sophie's choice. Hey, the manning. The guy, after luck, they are not going to that. You're compared to Auschwitz. Thought of you out in your head. Yeah, they did that in that book. I like it. Do you remember that book with the Conan O'Brien,

Jay Leno thing? Yeah. The head of NBC or one of the heads of NBC's called that a Sophie's choice. You know what the Sophie's choice? Sophie's choice. Yes. Hey, is it Sophie's choice to one with Jack Nicholson? No, no. Which one's that? That's China town. What's the one with Jack Nicholson where he has to in the blonde? It's a mob movie. It's a pretty his honor. Oh, sorry. Yeah. And. Any sort of name with the- That's what he had outside.

With the possessive. Yeah. Oh, pes- I'm out in Lurson. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm out again. Pretty. That's so funny.

Yeah. Pretty. What's Sophie's choice about- What's Sophie's choice about- She's a boy that's a boy that's a boy that's a girl. She's Merrill Streep. Okay. And she has to choose between letting her daughter go to the gas chamber or her son. Yeah.

Yeah. And she makes a choice. So it's a thrill. It's originally a book by William Styrin and then they made it into an Oscar nominated or Oscar. I've never seen it. I've never seen it. I have an either because I would think that it was the most upsetting movie. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds depressing. It's like terms of endearment when I'll kiss my candy bomb mom. You take it back. I fucking cry for six fucking six days watching the candy bar. Yeah, the candy bar scene in terms of endearment. Just let the kid have a fucking candy box. Just because the candy bar though. What do you mean?

That joke. I think we've put together a list of players that will be protecting from the expansion draft. So other teams can take them. It's a real shinless list. But, yeah, I was the old Jewish writer, says it. Well, I don't know if you saw this, but this year's draft class, shin was list. These guys are all going to do very well. They're good. They're not mentions. They're good. They're not mentions. They're good. We'll be back with trippy-lizing the Holocaust. Hey, welcome back to the herd today on this boys talk radio. We're gonna be

trivializing one of the worst atrocities the humans ever. We're gonna be redoing this kitchen with what they call a holocaust bricks? Yeah, these breaks can take up to fucking Bobbilo 700 degree heat Let's fix this kitchen up Oh What was it we're in a train in everything Shit oh my god Jesus Christ. We don't even think when these cliches That's like who's the NFL player that said that there were slaves?

Do you remember that? He was a black guy. But he goes, yeah, man, we're basically just like, oh, Adrian Peterson. Oh, God. Burn the lockout. Oh, or Prince when he wrote slave on it. Yeah.

I don't know if it's face. Slaves that own a Porsche. That's good. All right, well listen guys, we're at the clock, we're gonna wrap this up because we have a show to do tonight I gotta go check in my You gotta go check in I want to thank first number one syndicate chrysalis everybody over there I want to thank Matt a laugh button everybody over at laugh button in the syndicate you guys have been fucking great

Even the girl that was hanging our posters today that didn't even know it was me and Gary We were like it who's gonna be there? She was like, well, Doug Benson's gonna be there, he's funny, we were like, what about Gary? I don't know, and then she goes, I go, what about Robert Kelly? She goes, oh, he's really funny, but you know she's lying.

She's just picking up sales. Oh, it was all of us. But I wanna thank those guys. South by Southwest has been a blast. Also, Gotham Comedy Club. Gotham Comedy Club club Lee and Lion Guard and Chris Mozilla, Steve and Mozilla. They really hooked a sub too.

They put this together, they put a lot of stuff, they made sure we're in a good hotel. And to Gary, they really made sure that we would take care of everybody, all those people to care of us. Jack Vaughn, or I was pretty vaughn. One of the supportive, and supporting.

Yeah, and this has been this we got the show tonight So we might have to do another podcast if this goes fucking shit. It's not about 11 30 We're doing a podcast before the show so it's like this could fucking go shit I will be hosted. Yeah, I'm not gonna go shit for you cuz you're corporate Dan. Hey guys He's in the he's in the spot right now when nothing can go bad Yeah, you know what I mean? He's in the spot right now when nothing can go bad. Yeah. You know what I mean? He's not at the point where everybody knows him.

He's still a new guy. So once everybody knows, he's 20 minutes, and then he goes up and does it, and it fucking takes a hot one. I wanna be there. It's time to be there. Really? All right, let's save that for next Monday.

Oh shit. Dan Soda, we're doing this your host in the show tonight. Gary Gomen and me are actually fucking co-headlining with Doug Benson Amy Schumma couldn't be here. She's got you gonna be in the podcast podcast soon though So I can't wait for her to come on the show you guys. Thanks a lot again Moe fee you guys are the shit. Thanks for hooking me and Gary up. Maybe Dan will hook himself up tomorrow Probably not but listen they might come to the show tonight. So they might see you And that's about it man. You know what dude podcast we're out. Thanks for listening, spread

the word. Dan at dansoda.com on Twitter. At Gary Gooman on Twitter. And you got a new album coming out. Yeah, it's called No Can Defend. Comedy Central Records. Comedy Central Records. Make sure you when that comes to can you pre-order it now? No. No, not yet. Okay, well, you could have lied. No, it hurts to get a Google Buzz going. We're moving that, it comes out, make sure you check that I will have Gary when the album comes out, you come back on the podcast.

And you know me at Robert Kelly, and make sure you check out at YKWD podcast on Twitter, at YKWD. Robert, thanks for including us on this. This is a lot of fun. Podcast. Yeah, now I had a blast, guys. This is a good one.

From the hotel room at the fucking South by Southwest, this is you know what dude podcast, we are over and out. Get your ass down, it's time for Te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te- Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick I'm not a podcast right. Boom, boom. This would happen if the podcast blew up and I got all weird, I started getting like, what? I just had like my podcast rag, they would have to be like moist and warm.

That's fucking. We didn't even, you know how the fucking podcast works, Dan? How's the podcast? I introduced the fucking podcast. You just yapping over the beginning. I didn't even know you were doing the podcast. No, I kind of did. Yeah,apping over the beginning. I didn't even know you were Doing the podcast. No, I kind of did. Yeah, you did. No, I didn't know it in I'm gonna tell you right now first of all I know first of all first of all. Yeah, first of all first of all You know second of all we're in fucking we're in Austin. We're on the south by x west

S. X. W. We're at south by southwest Festival. I've never seen you, this whipped up in my life. I've never seen you. I'm excited. Dude, you're more excited than I've ever seen you. And it's almost, it's making me happy. Like, it is? Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. The way that you're positioned in your hotel room right now

with the fucking, the heavy blinds almost all the way close yes but then the the lighter blinds in front of it but you're fucking back to the window it's menacing as shit is it really it really looks like we're in a hotel we are in a hotel off the highway it looks like a listen are you on fucking drugs right now then why are you fucking so happy and just yapping first of all I didn't even introduce the podcast you know we've done this 90 times I go hey, what's up? But I do the uncomfortable fucking intro and then we go into where it is and then I introduce you and with Dan and then you Fucker's like you've been fucking yapping since the podcast started. Oh, I was talking to you

Cuz you said we're gonna do tech talk up top don't fucking reveal secrets Shit, you know you don't fucking you don't tell people what we I was setting things up Now they know no, no, no, keep it real. Don't there's no real. You keep it. No, you show your face All right, we're here. This is you know what dude podcast with you know now fucking Dan soda Dan aka Monster voice aka fucking corporate Dan aka. I love festivals fucking dirt soda. Oh my god I've never seen you this fucking crazy. Sorry that I still have child like happiness. I mean it actually makes me feel good I love seeing I'm actually been having a great time too I like festivals also

But uh you're fucking crazy You know why I'm scared you know why it's making me sad because I know it's gonna go away because I've been there too I know it's all gonna go away and some day I'm gonna meet fucking been in the business 12 years Dan and I'm not gonna like Dead I did I'm not gonna like yeah, yeah, Bobby. I don't know I'm doing some fucking festival I don't yeah, you're gonna be calling me from the road be like dude. I'm at fucking Serpice and Toledo

I just don't want to see that guy. I know it's coming. I know it's coming for you, I hope it doesn't, but I know it's coming. I hope it doesn't either. I hope it doesn't. I hope I keep this pie-eyed, slightly. Ha ha ha ha. Well, we're here at the festival, we're in my hotel room.

We made a makeshift studio with the, this is one hell of a makeshift studio. It's fucking cool, right? B and H baby. I fucking, this is one hell of a makeshift studio it's fucking cool right? yeah bnh baby dude i fucking this is all out of my mind then dude i got the fucking

this is all out of my mind you got a couple super clamps you got some flex fucking rips what are you trying to talk like my landlord Anthony DeLuvio what's his name i love let me tell you something though there's nothing funny to me

then specific yeah DeLuvio Anthony DeLuvio hey then how you doing? Those tiles fly off your shower. And it's going to take about 18 months, but, you know, I don't make a sound at least because you have no credit.

Well, here's a deal. Let's, let's do a little, a little tech talk here. We, we're going to, we're going to, we're going to stop right now, do a little tech talk. It's me and Dan and for the end of the show that's what we're doing at the beginning that's why you were fucking yeah but I was trying to set it up because it's a little weird to set up and then blue I need to do the three claps got you oh fuck it anyways we're here we're here, we're doing Tech Talk with Bobby and Dan. It's just not the same.

It's not. Yeah, one fucking soon as Kentucky Derby fucking joke. So Southern gentleman Joe. Soon as fucking I hate Gator meat fried. Oh, I was down there in the Bayou looking like a Gator right in there. Hope he's doing comedy in front of a fucking chicken wire fence.

Ladies and gentlemen, excuse my gain of wrestling for some entertainment of the verbal time. The blind guy playing one of those fucking flat guitars. The rotos. Haha. Um, well, so anyways, I'm down here, dude. This South by Southwest, I got fucking hooked up. Tac wise.

Yeah. I'm fucking fucking I'm loose. They have one of the convention floors with the what do they call them? Yeah, booze, but what do they call what is that called when they have it? I don't fucking like the javits on well, yeah, you know, they have these conventions or these festivals and then they have a convention center and inside the convention room floor, they dice it all up and they have all kinds of cool shit Like you know, they have

You know all this fucking crazy shit. They had the Mofi cases we hear the Mofi company They had this other case called the runner. It's it's it's Like a backpack, but it's not a backpack. What did you call it? Oh? It's called a band-a-leer. A band-a-leer. A fucking kill, you know, I hate that. Guess what though? If anyone knows what, before you say it's a backpack,

but it's not, that's an awful description. If I say band-a-leer, someone's gonna go, I know what a band-a-leer is, because I also enjoy the Mexican revolution in its tribals. Well, I got a lot of fucking shit going on. I got a blue microphone is here. The ones that actually donated all these mics

to the podcast, I down here, we're meeting them later tonight. So, tech talk is gonna be real quick this time because I'm gonna spread it over the next two weeks. Next week I'm gonna be doing the bandalier. We're gonna be talking about that cause I don't just get shit for free and not use it and then tell you to go get it

I'm not a fucking asshole even though I love free shit Yeah, and I should just say just go get it. It's fucking great. It's the bandileer You put your phone your zip is your fucking keys. I really hope you use that. I'm using it I'm gonna use it because it's fucking great, but I'm gonna do that next week I'm gonna do this see get it tucked to the do the Seagate. I talked to the guys in Seagate, the fucking Pupilopoulos. Fucking, that's his name, last name, Greek guy. Fucking great guys. They hook up me up with some crazy thing

I'm gonna talk about in a couple weeks. Wasn't that the name of Webster's Dad? Pupilopoulos, I don't know. But I'm gonna be talking about a lot of shit, but today we're gonna be dealing with the thing that I can deal with that I know about, that I've already used, that I've wanted for a while, is the Moffy Battery Pack case for iPhone 4 or 4s. It's a Mofie juice pack air. This is the

light one. They have the heavy one that has, I believe it's 2000 something, no I forget what the fuck they call them. Yeah, this is up to six hours of 3G. You know, she can get up with it. It pretty much doubled the battery life of any phone. Doubled the battery life of any phone. And it's just a case. And everybody knows that these are it's a case. But the things that suck about these is when they first started making these cases,

they were round and bulky and fun. Kind of feminine and Japanese goofy. You know how jack- I kinda like that shit though. I don't like that. I really found it. I like that sleek Japanese like. Ooh know, I kind of like that shit though. I'm like that. Really? I'm like that sleek Japanese like. Ooh, yeah, it's like weird.

Yeah, I love that shit. I got an extra one in my house, the old Mofi. Yeah. I give it to you. You can have it. All right, when I find out, I find out by my iPhone. Yeah, oh, you don't have an iPhone.

Ooh, what do you mean? I have a iPhone. I have a, I have a, I have a, well, you explain here, Read the Mofi. As a Japanese error. The Mofi Juusupakaira, rechargeable, external battery. Made for iPhone 4.

Juusupakaira, for you, convenience, a very protective, from fitting case, with extended built-in rechargeable battery for iPhone 4 Oh no, oh, truth in lightweight rope profile design That's actually fucking awesome. It's pretty bad ass, man It's a Lofi. I got this one. It's black and silver

You still well you get mad about you mad that you don't have one You mad you don't have your iPhone and you mad you couldn't't have one you mad you don't have your iPhone and you mad Couldn't get one of these because you don't have an iPhone Mm-hmm right? Well, you know what corporate then time to be a little more corporate and get some more money You know, you know I have an extra iPhone do you an iPhone four? I thought a for us well, so I would I would give it to you But you don't want it well because you want the You don't want the. Well. Because you want the, I'm tired. You don't want the forest. Dude, I, I, I, I don't, I fucking pick an iPhone one.

No, you want. Really with a 10 back and a aluminum. That's pretty cool now. Listen, the original, I love the aluminum back ones. I wish they go better. I'm back. Back up, I got that. Anyways, let me get into this fucking shit.

This thing is unbelievable. If you have an iPhone, you don't have to leave, I don't even leave my phone in it. I still have my wallet case that I use all the time when I'm going out, but I keep it in my backpack or my bandalier. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. You can keep this in your backpack. So when your phone dies, you throw it in and it charges your phone. You have a whole nother phone, my friend. That's fucking amazing. Well, you can just leave it in. It's a great nother phone, my friend. That's fucking crazy. Well, you can just leave it in.

It's a great, clay case. It actually protects the phone brilliantly. And it does, it's not flush on the front. What happens with a lot of these cases, these battery cases, because I have a few of them. I've bought a couple of them. And I tried to get the thin ones. Moffy finally made a thin one was my point.

They used to make these really fat and juicy. They're finally making these really thin. And so I remember your white one that you have. Right, it's fat. It's huge. Yeah, it's big and fat. And it's... It's thick.

Cumber some. Cumber some. So this one, they actually made, it's called the light, I believe, is that what it says on there? And it's thin. It's a Muffy, just peck of air. Air, air, that's it, that's the way it is. Air.

And it's thin, but it protects the front. It's not flush to the screen. So when you drop it on the front, it's got some That's the way it is. Air and it's then but it protects the front. It's not flush to the screen. So when you drop it on the front, it's got some rubber that will actually hit the ground fur without actually hitting the front of the screen. I'm like a white trash kid. I just want to play with the box and play with it. I'm telling that it's in here.

Like, oh my god. I'm just looking at it. So anyways, get Moffi, the Moffi juice pack air. These guys hooked me up. Me and Gary Gelman up with a free one. Gary actually got the 2000. It's a little tiny fatter, comes in more colors, and last, you know, 30% longer, 30% more than this one, but I don't need it. I need one, you know, if you look at this.

You're a simple man, Bob. Well, here's a deal. If you run out of juice twice, a whole lot, then you're shipwrecked. You're stranded. Yeah, you're're not a juice twice a whole lot. Then you're shipwrecked. You're stranded. Yeah, you're fucking, you should be near a block. And some, go home, fuckface. Staying out too long. You're a vampire. Get the fuck home.

Stop trying to get fucking blown in an alley. So get this, Moffy. Air. Air. Moffy juice. Back air. Moffy juice, back air is the thin one. They're unbelievable.

And I've gone through them all. I've actually bought a few of them There's a couple of the brands out there But the thing is they're not made as well as moffi this thing is a solid product It's well-made and it's a great case on top of actually being an external battery for this They finally figured it out over in Malfa Malfa and it's great. So that's tech talk. That's what I have For tech talk today. I flew on an airplane

My tech talk is aviation You can't do Talk about airplanes I'm going to airplane I love it. I love have, I flew Delta. Yes, lovely airline. I got peanuts. So what do you mean peanuts? You don't ever get peanuts anymore on a plane.

You don't get peanuts anymore because of the peanut fucking scare of the peanuts. Is everyone on my fucking plane was a soldier. Yeah, the peanut scare of 1998. Yeah. Remember that? Yeah, the one every kid. No, I don't give it.

I don't, I'm making this up. I wanna be a little worried to peanuts now. No, they're not you know, it was weird They actually talked about this on stern today. I might have been another minute repeat But remember that thing when I was talking about a hate girls ago. Oh my god. That's called that's actually called something Yeah, someone on Twitter mentioned it to us because I call it twat twang, but someone else it's it's it's it's it's not real It's not real these women actually I know some guys who do it too. It's fun anybody goes well Literally listen people who pause

People who It was a second literally that got me the first one aggravated me the second one you got it Land through it to put it out there the second one. Well, I know guys I know people do it now if you hear somebody go well Yeah, that's somebody trying to he said it. They're trying to sound Intelligent like it's more intelligent to do that. I forget the fuck they called it. I do that one today. I'm a stone on the phone What's that? Oh, that one today. I'm stone on the phone. What's that? I go, oh. Oh, that's not what I'm talking about. You're fucking dramatic.

You're stone to lot too. Did you bring weed with you? No. You don't fly with weed. Fuck no. So you're not a fucking total dope. No, and you know what? I smoke pot in a very like, at home pajamas,

Xbox controller. You have pajamas? I have pajamas pants. You wear pajamas. Pants pajama pants. You wear pajamas pants. Oh, you see you know, you look like you look like fucking a dick Van Dyke. You could be dick Van Dyke. Thank you. If they redid the dick Van Dyke show, I love that show. I love that show. It was a great show. It was not I don't love it like fuck all the family. I didn't grab with it. It was in black and white. You fucking Yeah, but it's needing a grub of it. It's not your show. it's my show you know you show it was in your shelter dr. Mary Tyler Moore when I was 12 years old dude that's not your show either now like that she looks like that listen none of those shows you none of those shows you show you show

your show's friends it was yeah that was your fucking show yeah that's your side felt I'll give you that yeah side felt was your Simpson was yours yeah, but you didn't have fucking South Park, okay. May now, South Park was before you. No, it wasn't. All right, I just threw it out there, see if I catch it. I see, you have nothing for tech talk. Airplanes. What are you gonna say about them?

They're great. That's it? Why are they great? They go large distances in short time. That's great. This tech talk is brought to you by the fucking year, 2042 What what

19 and you met eight or you never I never edit on the show either. I'm gonna have to leave that in Yeah, you know what they gonna hear on the show? They're gonna I like your fucking tones. You're slowly slipping stuff out. You're slowly slipping. Whoa! I'm the evil. I'm just excited to be here.

I know you are. So that's Tech Talk, man. Thank you for doing Tech Talk with Bobby and. God, let's try it again. Tech Talk with Bobby and... Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Stink, stick, stick You know what I'm dead I'm stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan. ¡Fui para! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros.

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