Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - The Prostate Is a Myth
Episode Date: October 21, 2019The tough questions are answered this week with Aaron Berg and Andrew Schulz joining Bobby to get to the bottom of what men arouses men! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adch...oices
Transcript
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Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día.
Donde nadie pregunta, ¿dónde viene?
Si no, ¿por qué no te viene?
Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos
y no creer olvida.
Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía.
Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra.
Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos.
Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga.
Un homenaje de de maos a Madrid. I'm fucking fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I fucking you, I'm fucking you, I fucking you, I'm fucking you, I fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I'm fucking you, I fucking you I got dozed.
I got dozed with pizza and fucking, I didn't get a cookie though.
Do I?
No.
Buried old food.
Yeah.
Well, anyways, we're here.
I am a little
Out of it. I have a sinus headache. I ate too much today. I fucked up
There's your birthday today is my birthday. Hi, everybody. It's my birthday, too
Nice dude today is my birthday
You've been the to show this pizza?
What?
You've ever been to show this pizza?
It's a fucks-at-me, you're fatty.
How are you doing?
How are you going for my birthday to show a certain pizza place?
How does it become a food show?
That's the version of the happy birthday song they would sing.
Oh, really?
What show is pizza, Michael?
It's like the bootleg Chuckie cheese.
It's all the gorilla.
No, I'd never go there.
You know why?
They got gabbage pizza. Oh, yeah. This was the 80s, though. It's all the gorilla. No, I'd never go there. You know why? They got gabbage pizza.
Oh, yeah.
This was the 80s though.
Yeah.
Oh, sorry.
You wouldn't go pizza.
You go for the video games.
But I am, I don't go for video games anymore.
I don't play video games anymore.
Since I had a son.
I play the real game.
It's called life.
Fucking life.
It's a good board game.
Waking up every day at 7.
Putting a pot of coffee on percolated by the way.
Not just easy fucking regular curie, whatever the fuck lazy people do.
Percolated.
Means water.
Means pouring in some Dutch fucking grind.
Putting the lid back on.
And I talking.
Stop staring at me.
Your confidence is weak.
Is it?
Blink. Confident people blink.
Psycho stare without blinking.
I mean, you're trying to be confident.
Stop it.
You're doing a good job.
I know it's weird sitting in that chair.
Fucking crazy person.
Just fucking.
Does it?
Does it? Yeah, exactly. Crazy person his fucking does it That's it
Yeah exactly look at those fucking papers. That's me. Yeah, you're fucking papers are bugging me
Anyways, yes
Yes today
Today was a fucking my birthday and I woke up and we had and then we
Nothing there's nothing and then I what what did he do for your birthday?
I'm telling you no you would yeah, that's it nothing
That's his version of Yada
Yeah, no no pancakes and bad nothing no damn dude. Nope nothing
Last year I thought my wife was gonna mirror Rolex and my heart was broken when
She got me a Rolex. And my heart was broken when she got me a card.
That's it, that's a card?
You know what I said,
how high my expectations were.
Where was that Christmas?
Maybe that was Christmas.
For some reason, I just,
I kept saying I want a Rolex, I want a Rolex,
I want a Rolex, I want a Rolex.
I just want a Rolex.
I want a fucking Rolex.
I just want one. Since I've known you, you've talked about owning a Rolex. I want a fucking Rolex. I just want one.
Since I've known you, you've talked about owning a Rolex.
I want a fucking Rolex.
I got a brightling.
All right, but it's too big.
I want if I like fucking good watches.
And I was trying to get what I, she won't let me get one
because you're a fucking like, you know, seven grand
or nine grand.
The one I, I mean, the one I want, that's it right there.
The black one right there, the left right there. That grand the one I want I mean the one I want that's it right there the black one right there left right there that's the one I want
well scroll down scroll down blue silver right there that one yeah the date
just of the the day date I don't like those Roman newlers those can go fuck
themselves but I want a Jubilee bracelet and I want a fucking, I want a chisel bezel,
whatever the fuck they call it.
What kind of bracelet is that?
That's not Jubilee?
No, that's not Jubilee.
Jubilee's up top.
Jubilee right there.
Oh, the thin one.
So I want one, I thought I was getting one.
I really thought she was just going to do it.
She was being a little sneaky.
I mean, like she was going to play this.
She's very cheat, not me.
I think she's going to jeweler get me fucking Rolex
She's blowing a guy in a fucking fucking five below parking lot. Was it a nice card?
Yeah, no, of course I I was so online
Crazy why would I why would she get me a?
It was six year old why would she give me? I I'm not a millionaire I didn't drop a rap album why would I the
fuck would she buy me a Rolex for that's
something you buy yourself is max of age where he
gets you stuff like he'd like draw something for
you now or yeah no he draws shift for me they
may he may meet let me tell you something he ran
out last week I was leaving to go to spots on
Saturday night he ran and he
said, Dad, dad, and he runs down and he goes, go, what? I stopped. I don't know. He goes,
I, I just love you so much, Dad. I was like, I just want to stay home. I had seven
shows and I was like, I'm going to go, I'm going to stay home. I was like, I love you
too. And I came on that and he left a note on the door. You're the best dad ever. Oh,
yeah. It was crazy.
Fucking nuts.
No, I mean, I think we're doing something tomorrow.
I think they made me a cake tonight,
which is gonna kill me.
Is that gonna go home tonight
after you're fucking all this shit today?
And not eat the cake in the fridge.
I gotta fucking pretend I know nothing about it.
Yeah, that's gonna fucking be miserable. Wake up and think me happy birthday.
I'm gonna sleep in the shed tonight.
I'm going to fuck cocksuckers. Anyways, then I came in. She
did. I smoked a nice cigar today. One of my favorite
cigars today. I smoked. Why is it so hot in here, Michael?
The window open? You fucking rock, shotgun.
What the fuck, I wish Gabby was here.
I wanted to talk about that.
Fuck him.
Mike is fucking hot down to the bus last week.
Hey, now he did.
He was fine, and you have a tone issue.
Oh yeah, that's for sure.
Someone left the window open.
Got wrong tone.
You love that shit though.
What do you mean?
Throwing under the bus?
You love when someone gets thrown under the bus.
I don't, but I do.
Small party it does.
I don't, I don't love it.
No, because I don't want to see Mike Hart Gabby,
your Gabby say shit to her.
Mike, I'm not really, I'm not that guy,
but if it happens, I'll let it roll out,
but I would deal with it and I I know I would deal with it.
I wouldn't let you, I wouldn't push you and try to trigger you to slap Gabby and call
our con.
Then I'm fucking, I don't know, back you would have to fucking smash you with her camera.
And then fucking these two queens would have to fucking beat the shit out of you.
And you'd find some fucking Mexican bully rage
from being bullied when you're a kid
and snap Chris's neck and kill him
and fucking stab porn Mike in the throat
and go, you took my job.
And then Zach would have to kill you
with his strength because he's a superhero.
And then it would just be me and Zach.
You know, I'm Becky.
She's gonna never camera.
I like that you'd still do the podcast after five people.
No, I'm not.
Fuck yeah, I mean, I'm not into it.
No, but you've done the role.
What?
Well, I wouldn't let you fight.
I mean, totally, fully.
Love to see fucking just my crab Becky by her purple bangs puller
Cabby just go you mother
You don't know what you're messing with just light mic on fire. She has fun
She has like lighter fluid and the camping trip
Anyways, yeah, no, it was all right. They listen man birthdays are done. You don't really get, I don't get birthday.
I don't do that shit.
I don't get it anymore.
And I'd want it because I never had it.
You understand?
All my birthdays were fucked up as a kid kind of.
I don't remember the good ones.
I only remember the bad ones
because when you have bad ones,
that's what you focus on, which sucks.
I have to assume I had a couple good ones, right?
I just don't remember because it wasn't that epic.
There was one epic birthday party that my wife planned.
She was rent, the village underground, all my friends that were gonna roast me.
She had burlast dancers, poker table, roulette table, magicians. it was going to be a night to remember. The best birthday
party ever given. And Joraldo died. Yeah, he passed away. So she had a cancel it because
it would be un, it would have been uncool, you know. If I would have been weird. Not
for me. I would have fucking remembered it forever. I would have remembered it forever.
You could have put like a nice picture in the corner
That would have been fine. We should have just had the fucking party and put up. Yes. Yeah flowers around it
You're good. Yeah, and you could have had the surprise one put them Patrice ruined it
Patrice that was the one. Oh, that was the one. Yes, Patrice
Fucking ruined that too. Yo man, I don't like surprises. I do
You fat fuck
Mother where is he? Where you clock suck out? I love
Patrice fuck you
Never had a surprise
Never and then today
Pizza I have pizza. What kind? Joe's motherfucker. Liz is the best. This is the problem, that's what a fat fuck I am. I showed up and Liz was like, we're getting lunch steak, we got steak, a salad, and vegetables,
and wings.
What in the fucking salad vegetables went with a fuck?
What is this?
Cauliflower on my birthday, where's the fries?
So I stopped and got a pizza grandma.
Grandma pizza on the way.
Fucking shoveled it down my face.
Literally the homeless guy said no to,
was staring at me like, he's,
I was like, oh shit, I was just mushed it in my face.
And then came in and, I was like,
I cheated on Liz.
I came in, she was like, food ready,
and I just shoveled more food in my face.
And then I came upstairs and Billy was in town and
Derosa awesome to do a show with them.
Haven't done a show with them and so I mean we have been in the room together all three
of us since cheat.
You know we all had falling outs we went off for we just didn't talk for a while because
we were just with each other for years and And we were, you know, it was just fucking crazy.
But how long did you live with Burr?
I lived with Burr for three years.
And then Deroce lived with him around the corner for me
on, I was on 47th there on 49th in the Hell's Kitchen.
For five years, maybe longer.
Burr lived there for five years then Burr,
and then Deroce moved in to that place.
And he lived there and Berth came back
so they kind of shared he did what I did with Berth. Berth always helped people out man.
I mean Berth. I thought that other guy lived there too right? Stop stop stop that.
It's Mike. It's Mike rolling around. Do I hear something every time I talk?
You hear that? Oh the little muff. Every, right? Yes. What is that? Why is this
happening now? This didn't happen before. That's the gate picking up the AC. No, it's only after my voice.
It's because the gate isn't on and I'm gonna fucking smash you with a gate. What does that mean?
It's a noise gate, so it reduces the other sounds. I'm gonna duck. Oh God, anyways.
I hate it. I hate it.
I've been here for 10 years, I can't.
Why do other shows have perfect sound?
And I gotta hear some weird thing.
Why?
They don't have perfect sound.
Who doesn't?
Nobody has perfect sound.
How it's turned us.
Mm.
Jim and Sam do.
They had construction going on in the building for months.
I'm gonna tell you what, Sam.
I'm gonna tell you what the microphones.
Well, it's not perfect. Listen, hey, you fucking hippie. They had construction going on in the building for months. I'm gonna tell my thams. I'm gonna go on the microphones. Well
I'm perfect. Listen, hey you fucking hippie
Sorry, I'm sorry Becky. I just have I love you too guys. Thank you for the card by the way
You're welcome. I appreciate you. They like what cards?
Um, lose got a card. I got a card you got a card. I relax chill chill out. That's the tone we're talking about. No, I got a card.
That's why everybody doesn't like you.
There's a lot of reasons too.
Yes, absolutely.
To your face.
Listen, that's the tone you have to work on, Michael.
First of all, I got a card.
You know, I know you'd have to eat that one,
but that's the one you eat. Liz got
me a card. And you go, I really got the card, but whatever. Oh, you can do it in a funny
way. You know, you can always there's always the fun. You know, you can replace Kant with
funny, Mike. Let's try it. I'm gonna say Liz got me a card.
Get a good job. Bingo! Right? I'll try try to get Liz got me a really nice card. Yeah, you got one after her
own suit abilities. But it's Mexican. I like this new mic. Do you guys like them? Yeah, do you like
them? You try one. Try one. Try one. Liz got me a card. Oh wait. Are you listening? No.
Are you listening? No.
Oh God, one of you goes.
Anyways.
Oh God, we need a female here.
Yeah, we always need a female just to keep the, what does that mean?
Don't say that, that's Texas.
You almost got me fucking kicked off my own show.
No, diversity.
Yeah, opposite.
Somebody I'm saving the show.
Somebody dosed me. The trip to Finn. Jesus Christ. Oh, I'm saving the show somebody dose me
Trip the fan Jesus Christ
Yeah, that shit up with Ari Shafir. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we can do it's just the word dose
It's what makes it sound bad if you say gave no one give a slip slip slip's not good. Slips not good. It's too Cosby
Yeah, so Cosby gave his Dose feels very like wood stuff.
No, Dose is rapy.
Yeah.
Who ever is saying Dose?
It's like, stop saying Dose.
Like two.
I threw him some.
I threw him some.
I gave, I think gave is good.
I like tossed, but yeah.
Gave seems a little more friendly than what happened
Like gave is just like here you go and not like I put it in a drink. Yeah, I trickled He did some I
I
Yeah, trip the little and I don't know something. I think I gave or gift I gifted him I gifted
Oh, that's a go on gifted. I gifted you a little fucking Molly, bro. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, then it sounds nice
Yeah, you didn't make him pay for it after. Yeah, dude. Do you have to pay for it? I gave it gifted you a little fucking Molly, bro. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, then it sounds nice. Yeah.
Because you didn't make him pay for it after a while.
Yeah, dude, you have to pay for it.
I gave it to you for nothing.
Free Molly. What is he complaining about?
Man, that's weird situation.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, I know that Ari is a fucking, he's one of my closest friends.
And he's a sweet guy.
And I know he has that thing.
I mean, even at the camping trip with this fuck,
he turned this lunatic into a fucking, you know,
upon reflection, it's my favorite part.
That's great.
I'll tell you why it wasn't my favorite part.
I'm really great.
It would, the reason why,
because if, when people get,
I, and it's probably my own fierce right right but when I used to drink and party
People used to get burnt or beat up or fall and fuck it had people get fucked up
And then they fuck and then all of a sudden everything's done and I'm at a hospital
I'm and I'm 48 now 49
You know
Hi buddy
Just put the headphones on stop acting so fucking quiet
Yeah, why you pantomiming? Oh, I forgot that there was cameras and people could see me walk in on
awkwardly, oh you thought we were just a fucking
Audio podcast. Yeah, the pee. I didn't want to interrupt anything. I said motherfucker. I'm the first day
Thank you, buddy. Well, you look great.
I do.
You're glowing.
Your skin looks fantastic.
I get great skin.
I guess it's wonderful.
I get great skin.
And you must be so thankful and grateful.
Everybody has such a blessing.
Oh, I'm 300 pounds, so no.
No, I'm a beast.
You're a happy wind.
I'm 100 pounds over.
That's a lot.
For me to get heavy, I have to lose a hundred pounds. Yeah
That's ten babies you concerned about this. Yeah think yeah
Yeah, yeah, the middle of my toes go numb every once in a while. I'm a little concerned
Everything else is going great. Everything else is going to accept for my the hair of my legs is dying
Because of because I'm fat. No, but I'm good. Yeah, I have half a hair on my legs. How old is this dying?
How old? I'm 49. How old are you? You look great. 47, I just turned way better than you. Yeah, you're doing career wise. You're doing better. You have you've dealt with your emotional baggage way prior to me.
You have a beautiful son, beautiful family. Your career is going pretty well, not where you thought it would be,
but it's going very well.
You got a house, it's great.
You get to do what you love.
Thank you, Art.
Nice little smoking pit,
humidor in the house.
You're crushing it.
And you got for your birthday, you got a Mercedes?
No, I didn't get a Mercedes.
Oh, that was me.
All right.
You did?
Yeah, I did. Fuck. Mercedes. Oh, that was me. All right. You did? Yeah, I did.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Who got a fear?
I got it for myself.
My wife didn't have a job at the time.
What?
What kind of a Mercedes?
You got a Mercedes.
This CLA 250.
Oh, yeah, I'm going to fuck up and get a flat tire.
I want to take out that.
It's okay.
If they get flat, you can still drive on them for 50 miles.
I got the tire.
What is that?
What is that on your wrist?
That's a swallow clock watch. They went out of business because they were making them too big
It's like black penises
I'm a business cuz
Buck and cheeks couldn't they make them do back
But like dicks out of business. Hey, this is great. I'm so happy to be here on your birthday
Thank you, buddy. He's the world. I'm so fucking man
I wanted a Rolex for my birthday. Did you tell anyone?
Everyone no one got you a Rolex. No one
Try to save up. Huh? I got a fucking Mexican pinata card. I got a couple sizes of Joe a
Chalka chip cookie that Fato's gonna take home. From Insomnia?
Yeah.
I'll get you a watch.
What?
Yeah.
But I'm gonna send a Rolex.
I'll get you a watch.
I want a Rolex.
Do you really want a Rolex?
Yes.
Open for Russell Peters.
He buys his people Rolex.
I can't.
I'm gonna throw up.
Yeah, you would throw.
Yeah, I used to, I opened for people.
You know what they got me? I had it. K, K, K, K, K. Yeah, you would throw. Yeah, I used to I open for people, because he thinks he was bleeding somewhere. I don't know what happened.
You can punch in the nose by the neighbor.
Yeah.
I don't know what happened.
Fucking goddamn.
I mean, if you don't leave a doogie for fucking,
how many years we've been together,
I haven't seen one nugget out of your ass,
except the day he gave birth.
And now you're gonna leave a fucking shudrull,
a fucking bugger rug, a fucking,
a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a,ol, a fucking bugger rug, a fucking a cut wound, a pussy napkin.
A pussy napkin, thank you.
A piss hole bandaid.
Go, Michael, what do you got?
Use tampon.
Go, what do you got?
Fucking vage, a vage muscle nap.
Pussy plug.
Yeah, what do you got Mike? Kudapop
That's pretty good pretty good. Krish what do you got?
Too much time. It's like a
Kunkabob. Yeah, Kunkabob. Yeah, dude. It is the worst when you see those my wife sometimes I'll find flakes of shit
What cuz she doesn't double flush Jesus Christ my wife never does that If I saw flakes of shit I dump her I can't I'm too deep in dude. I'm I'm fucking deep into yeah
But you really leave your wife if I saw flakes of shit. I'd be like listen you I
We'd I'd sit her on the fucking not on the couch near the counter on those uncomfortable chairs
So she pay attention. Yeah. On those bar stools.
Yeah, she has to sit upright.
Sit right here.
Why? What's going on?
Gave yourself, I got to make a coffee for you.
Here's your coffee.
Take a sip.
Listen, you shit and leave it again.
I'm out.
I'm gone with the kid.
How would you do that legally?
Uh-huh.
Murder.
Yeah.
I thought about it so many times.
I just hate the poop.
Yeah, my wife does that.
She'll fart.
She'll shit some, we got a bathroom near the kitchen.
Sometimes she'll do something there and there's no matches in there.
So you walk by the kitchen and you're like, oh, that's awful.
I go, jeet something bad today.
And she'll just laugh it off.
She gets angry. Jesus, where she is mad at you? She's bitchy sometimes. I mean, I love her, that's awful. I go, jeet something bad today. And she'll just laugh it off. She gets angry.
Jesus, where she gets mad at you?
She's bitchy sometimes.
I mean, I love her, but she's, you know,
my wife gets real bitchy.
She, yo, your wife's emotional and aggressive, right?
My wife is, see, my wife is not emotional
and she will knock, she's passive aggressive.
So she's, she's kind of a perfect fit for me.
Cause I, I have, I've been very good with my anger though lately. Yeah, yeah, I yelled at my baby yesterday
And I hated myself you yelled at the baby. Oh my god. What the fuck?
Baby, how can you yell at a baby? I had to talk to Alan about it today
I'm talking to me right now fucking she's I'm trying to put it in the baby seat
She doesn't want to go in the baby seat of course of course some I'm yelling I go this is a fucking Mercedes and I didn't say that
I call she won't let me put her in you want a range roll up she kicks me in the head
yeah with a crock and I go by per get to see like real loud and and I never yell at
her and it's right outside the gym
So I clearly look everyone who walks by fix Scott beats the shit out of his kid
Yeah, so I go and tell Alan today and I go Alan is a therapist and I said a yell and and I hate when my wife yells at her
And and he goes why do you yell at her? I go because I was hanging he's like this is you're not gonna
Teach her you can't get upset about would you be upset if you were putting a baby seat
And I go yeah, and he goes see you need to exercise your empathy and understand that and why'd you get angry?
I go because I wanted to rush and get home and he goes to the and I go oh here's the salute
I should have taken my time and sat with her and held her and calmed her down and put her and I learned from it
And I won't do it again manipulation dude.ulation dude, that's what I learned with Max.
You ready?
Renipulation.
You're over here.
I want you over here.
I'm gonna go right over here.
I'm gonna fuck with you.
Look at the dog.
Same, I don't need to compare kids to dogs, but Max doesn't want to get in the seat.
So if I sit there and go and if I just badger him about the seat, Max, you're gonna get the seat. It's get in the seat. So if I sit there and go, and if I just badger him about the seat,
get Max, you're gonna get in the seat.
It's just about the seat. He's gonna dig his closet.
Yeah. I go like this, dude. Are you gonna go to the movies this week?
You know what I mean? Yeah.
All right, cool. You're gonna go, all right, well, dude,
you gotta go to the movies, you gotta pay attention,
you gotta really behave yourself.
And this is part of behaving yourself when you gotta get in your seat.
Can you, in the morning, doesn't want to get up and get dressed?
Doesn't. Yeah. I heard her go and max you had and I went in calm down. Stop yelling.
I go, Max, I'm going to, I'm going to beat you. I'm going to get dressed before you.
Yeah. What? I'm going to get. I'm going to get. I'm going to get.
I thought you were. I'm going to. I'm going to.
I beat the shit out of me. I'm a jitter. I thought you were punching you. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna win and I go in my room. I'm already dressed. Yeah, I'm just sitting my bed and fucking check out my Instagram Yeah, and he goes I won and I go goddamn it every day. Yeah dressers and stuff
Yeah, it's manipulation, but I cuz I
Now the other day yesterday two days go me. I'm done. She did what the fuck did she do?
She did so I mean fucking past oh he had something that happened in school where he hit a kid. Oh, him and this kid had a problem.
And I said, I want to make sure I go, okay, Max, what you did was wrong.
Okay, you're out of line. But I said, I said, what are the other kids do, Don?
Well, he did the, okay, did the teacher talk to him?
Did the teacher talk to the parents? Did you go over and talk to you know what I mean? What did you do?
She's like not she's like give me the let's not I don't want it. It's like no
I
Wanted I'm like what are you nuts? I have to let my kid know that we got his back. Yeah, yeah
He's gonna fuck up, but that kid fucked up too
And he has to know that we're his back. Yeah. Yeah, he's gonna fuck up. But that kid fucked up too. And he has to know that we're looking up first back.
He's not just out there by himself.
Fucking taking hits.
That his mom and his dad got his back.
And I know it's uncomfortable.
And then those parents might be a fucking asshole,
but it doesn't matter.
It's about your fucking son.
And I didn't say it like that,
but I started to get that tone.
Max goes, Dad, dad, dad. You don't have it like that, but I started to get that tone max goes that dad dad
You don't have to get that angry. Yeah, you got to just relax and I went you know what you're right
He said it because we taught him that yeah, and I said you're right, man
I'm sorry max mom. I messed up. I'm sorry. I just think that it's important that we talk and it was over
Yeah, that's from him six
It's good. That's from Alan yeah
So today I'm walking I go she's coming home in the car with the baby the baby's asleep
I got the dog shit in one hand. I got to stick in the other she pulls up. I see her pull up
I know she needs help getting to the car, but she sees me honks beeps at me and I go
Like this like one fucking man. I got dog shit in my hand
And she's like what's this why are you doing that and I go cuz I'm gonna help and she's so it went to a big thing
But it's like we deal with it better now. We deal with it quicker now
I go look I wasn't trying to offend you. I had dog shit in my hands
So go and that's it but you got to talk everything out
Because the way we used to do it is shout the fuck out. Yeah, and they liked it
Well, I thought I a dumbass the other day
You did oh, yeah, I got you dumbass. Yeah, she goes you just got mean for no reason
I was not mean to you and you just called me a dumbass and then she called and I go you're right
I was being mean I was happy to feel good. It feels so good to call your name. You dummy
Dummy is such a good one. Well my wife my wife has called me some names too. Yeah, I mean
We've I missed the days where we could have fights. Yeah, we don't really fight anymore
Because we can't he's around all the time
but you know and we don't want to
You're gonna it here's the thing. I love people. Dude who gives a shit people fight married people fight
Okay, if you're gonna fight in front of your kid
and screaming, y'all, then that's what they're gonna do.
Yeah, they're gonna talk to women like that.
So, Christine says she goes,
no, she has to learn that it's okay to fight
and then you make up, like, no, it's not.
It's not okay to talk it through,
but you can't be like,
go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go,
because that's what her parents did.
And now she thinks that's okay.
And I don't want her to think that. Because your kid will yell and scream. And you, and whoever the fuck else, and that's what her parents did and now she thinks that's okay And I don't want to think that because your kid will yell and scream and you and whoever the fuck else and that's the way you live
That's why it's in me to scream. Yeah, I don't want a scream. Are you gonna yell at Mike? I don't
But he's a fuck up
And sometimes I'm sorry. I just live in some other stuff that happens
I know you think he's nice, but he's fucking don't work with him.
Listen, you can't suck it up.
He's very jovial.
Yeah, he's very jovial.
Fucking Jenna.
No, I'm kidding.
Mike, you're a fantastic guy.
Thank you.
You tones.
Have you ever given me a compliment with that?
All the time.
And even like that though.
No.
I'll tell you why.
It's your face.
Just makes me go, no. I love Mike. I have a incredible face. What's that? I why it's your face. Just makes me go, oh, no, I love Mike.
What's that?
I have regrettable face.
No, your face is just, I don't know.
Can't get it all in one view.
I don't know if it's, yeah, I think it's,
no, Mike's gonna, a little cute, a little owl face.
Yeah, listen, I got nothing.
I got nothing on his face.
But the thing is, is that you have to,
you have to keep doing that.
You can't give up on that.
No, because it's not worth it, man.
And it makes you a better person, because snapping and flipping out and having the arguments,
it's never been worth it.
For some reason, you never had anything that mattered.
Now you do.
Your little girl is going to learn fear, anger, all that shit from you. Yeah, so it's amazing
Yeah guilt is a big thing. I got to get rid of because my parents
Gilt was a big thing around and I didn't even know about it until you know recently. I've been trying to with my kid
Keep it there he is right over here, but I've been trying to keep it
I've been trying this is so fucking weird. I've been trying to keep it. I've been trying, this is so fucking weird.
I've been trying not to, everything's a fucking big deal.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's like, dude, look, you're gonna fuck up.
You know, we're talking more kids and shit,
having kids, but you jump in.
But I'm just like, like, he fucked up.
I'm like, look, man, he was all nervous.
I'm like, you don't have to be nervous.
You're going to mess up.
Yeah. Buddy, you're not in trouble. I'm not, look, you're getting all nervous. I'm like, you don't have to be nervous. You're going to mess up. Yeah.
Buddy, you're not in trouble. I'm not...
Look, you're getting trouble when you do really bad things.
When you mess up in school, you're doing great.
You know what I mean? I don't want to sit there. There's what we're doing.
Well, you know, you got a sad face, you're thinking,
you weren't doing good, you're supposed to be doing it. It's like, fuck that. Do it. You're doing great.
You messed up again. you will mess up again.
That's the way it is, but you gotta do it.
You gotta try, trying to not to really come down.
I don't wanna break this kid.
I don't wanna break him.
I don't wanna be like, no, stop, don't, don't, stop, no, don't,
stop it, please don't, fuck it man.
Do something, break, you're gonna fuck up, fuck up and I don't want to come down on him like
fucking it's just like yeah you messed up dude well how do you feel about it and he tells me he's
like yeah I feel bad I shouldn't have did it he's like I do it I'll try and I'll try better tomorrow
that was a great try better tomorrow if you do that you're gonna get good stuff if you do bad things
you're not gonna have good stuff it's your choice choice. Yeah. Leave it up to the kid, even though he's sick.
People go, dude, he's only six. Fuck you.
Yeah. This is the time.
Yeah.
This is when they become this shit.
I remember shit in kindergarten.
The shit that happened to me from fucking kindergarten to sixth grade will never leave me.
Yeah. That's when you become who you are.
It's, it's when shit, you're a sponge, and this shit happens.
And then you keep it with you for the rest of your life.
Fear, doubt, respect issues, all from when I was a kid,
that age, because nobody was there for me.
I kids waiting after school to beat the fuck out of me,
and nobody was there. I told my mom, mom crying on the bed, crying, what's wrong?
They're gonna kill me, you'll be alright.
I know I will but I want you fucking asshole.
Come to school with me.
She couldn't.
Had to work seven days a week.
So you just see, I had to hide under the stairs in school
in fifth grade until four o'clock,
three thirty four o'clock,
till the whole,
had to sneak out cause of the janitor
cause they were in the bushes waiting for me,
five or six kids every day.
Yeah.
Nobody would help me.
Nobody, I just wanted some guy,
some man to fucking protect me.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
And it wasn't what happened, dude.
That's where you build that fucking ridge.
Yeah.
You want to fucking, you want to fucking,
because if you have that ridge,
you want to fucking wait in the bush,
and I'll fucking.
Yeah, I'll start going through in your head over and over
and then you get the opportunity to last out, you do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So don't, I mean, look, man, how old you kiddie?
You're in a half to two
two's three three and four is bad. Yeah
It's I gotta get I gotta take more time and not you know
I have to be where like look I know I'm rushing to get somewhere
I gotta set that aside and I gotta spend time with her and talk her through this
None of that matters wherever the fuck you're going, does not matter one second, doesn't fucking matter.
Whatever you miss, doesn't matter.
I don't even fuck if it's your first day on your pilot.
Doesn't matter.
Well, matters you sit there and go,
get in the seat.
That will fucking stay with her forever.
Whether you know it or not.
So when you just gotta let it go
because it's not of its personal, she's a two year old.
I know.
It has no idea.
I don't want to get in the seat.
All right, listen, sit down and go, what do you want to do?
Yeah.
We gotta go home, explain it to her.
Yeah.
How about if you go home, if you get in the seat,
we'll do this when we get home.
Okay.
Fucking kids, you can manipulate a kid and say,
how do you think kids, they molest them.
Candy, they just get them in the van.
That was a big leap. I don't know why I took it from her sitting in the baby seat to get in fuck I'm just saying you can fucking get them to do what you want
For someone to break it. It was very good. Come on up and see never land
So I'm gonna have to his eyebrow quiver
I still fucking eat pussy and asshole can we move this on?
I just fucking ate a Brazilian's asshole 20 minutes ago.
Now I'm fucking talking about children.
I came in until you're freaking me out, guys.
Shocking beer out of a pussy in Australia two days ago.
I'm gonna have to take care of a third world child
of the fucking six months of you.
I think I was freaking me out.
What's up, Drew?
How you doing, guys?
How you doing?
I just enjoy these, the, the, the kid talks.
I mean, I don't have any kids yet,
but my friends are starting to have kids
and it's interesting to see how much their focus changes.
Yeah.
And like what priorities really are
and like, even the ship within their relationships,
like, like I'll talk to their wives
and their wives will say, like, it becomes much more about like keeping the baby alive.
You know, it's just like, everything is like this,
like time management system, you know, like,
okay, are you picking it up?
Am I picking it?
Okay, how can we, you don't call it it?
You don't call it it.
Our babies aren't trans.
That's funny, my kid said to me,
this is so funny, why people are so fucking stupid.
Just fucking dumb.
What?
Because everybody's trying to change old white men.
You need to call her here.
She had to leave them alone.
I go, my kid goes, Dad, we're at the Lego land.
And there was a girl, but it was a guy.
It was a guy, but she was dressed as a girl.
And I went, some guys feel more comfortable dressed as women
Right as girls and
Six and he went okay. Yeah done done transcombo over he gets it for the rest of his life
He understands that some and it's not a big fucking deal Does he understand it? Yeah, he didn't understand it
It doesn't have Jesus Christ. That's because you still I don't get it bro
I'll be honest. I don't I'm trying to I don't get it. That's because you haven't fucking done enough sex yet
There's got to be a day when it trans. Yeah, that's why you gotta get you shit together be a real man
And fucking get on your knees and get a socket dick and it's not second deck. Let's get it away
I'm a fucking rush you into things
Maybe get some balls on your butt
So wait you get penetrated no, I don't have a married settle down
Let's cut that
Somebody
Like four five years ago,
like it just seemed like every comic was just blowing
trainees.
No, no, no, no, nobody was blowing trainees.
Here's the thing is that comics don't care about
like comics don't care about gay or training.
We don't care about how, whatever you want to do.
I don't give a shit.
We don't give a fuck.
We were the first ones to not care.
We were gonna give a fuck what you do,
but we will make fun of everything.
Yeah, but we don't care.
Yes.
One of them went down today.
It's a big celebration.
What do you mean?
There's a trans comic in Toronto that was assaulting women.
And nobody would speak out against this trans comic, because she was trans.
Yeah.
So she was going after Louis this weekend.
Yeah.
She's like, why would this club book Louis?
He makes women on set.
So finally, the club, one of the guys that works at the club,
snapped back and goes, look, you don't want to throw rocks
from a glass house right now.
And he kept going.
It was a woman.
Now she's a man.
She's very outspoken about comedy.
And went after all these guys.
And then all of a sudden boom one girl spoke up
And she goes you assaulted me here's the evidence bubble blah and then boom boom boom three more all today
Off social media. Yeah, they took everything down and it was like we knew it everyone knew it
No one could say anything because if you did your transphobic that was it
But it's like person was a stalker commitment to like be a man
Yeah, but she was a salty song
You know, man like she was a woman first like she could have been a girl about her
Tran trans being a man. Yeah, so she was a fucking she actually was a man and she was sexist
She was a well. She salted women
She was a fucking, she act, she was a man and she was sexist. She was a fucking, she salted women.
It's hilarious though.
She was like a 90s man.
She didn't blow out the gown until she became a man.
It's amazing.
She was a girl's white man now.
Get him.
Yeah.
But all this out of what she was a checker,
it was a matter.
Wow, dude.
She really was like, I'm gonna be a real man now.
It's a big, it's a big guy.
I'm just curious about the trans thing like I just and I'm
Spoken to trans people about I just I need to understand
Okay, so yeah, what is it me like I
Don't feel like I have a lot of a guy. I just feel like it me. No, no
I don't know what to feel like a guy right because and I thought genders of social constructs
So it's like the trans are kind of conservative. I
Only believe in two genders and when you're a baby at some point
Biologically you go this way of that way, right, but a clip is a penis if you have a look like a weightlifter clip
That's a baby penis right and the balls are the lips and the thank you, okay?
penis right and the balls of the lips and the thank you okay
But I mean you know whatever so at any at some point you may become a boy But in your brain or biologically up here you might be like I really relate to women
I really relate to having a vagina or you know, what does that mean? I you don't know what it means
I don't know what it means, but they do.
I'm going to give you the exact opposite theory.
Here's what it is.
The opposite theory is people are living life.
They're unhappy.
So let's use this woman as an example that then became men.
She's unhappy.
She goes, I'd be happier as a man.
She goes, get surgery done.
She's already depressed.
Then she gets her penis cut off.
Then she has to start taking testosterone,
which is not naturally occurring in her body
in that level.
The testosterone then plays with her more mentally.
She then realizes, I'm a man now.
I thought I'd be happier,
but now I have all these other problems.
This hasn't brought me the happiness I have.
This explains the high suicide rate in the trans community
and has nothing to do with being bullied.
It's just people that are unhappy.
And this is where that theory comes from
where it's a mental illness, which I don't necessarily believe,
but I also believe that some of these people are sick
and they're looking for a way to make it better
and it's not helping.
I know, can I say something?
Cause you're not trans, you're not trans.
I'm not trans.
I've talked to, I have trans friends.
Yeah.
And they just feel more, look at the ones I've talked to,
the friends of mine, I
Feel better as a woman, okay, I've seen guys walk in that look like my uncle Sean dressed in women's clothes
Yeah, and they'll walk I was in an Ontario. We had a fucking this bakery at two in the morning and this
this
Dude walked in in an evening gown with
With still funny to lots
Smoking hot check yeah, smoking hot check and I didn't even phase me. I don't give a fuck right
I don't if you want to wear panties underneath your man jeans, so I don't give a shit
And has nothing to do with me.
So true.
What, there's a difference between being hateful
and curious.
Like, you could be curious about any culture.
And when you ask questions,
you're curious about fucking, you know?
Yeah.
I want to see what it feels like.
You're curious to fucking lie down
with a hot trans, that's it.
Transsexual.
I like holding my dick.
Yeah, your models will hold the dick the same size.
You know what I mean?
So I sing your dick, you got a nice piece.
Oh, thanks bro, I appreciate it.
You really do, man, you just got a nice piece.
Keep going, keep going.
I'm not in your business, cock blocker, sorry.
So back off.
Fucking, I was saying like, I wanna ask questions about it
and I'm trying to get this little buck in my fucking shed for a long time
That's what the shed is about that word was
I've been grooming this I've been grooming this little buck for a long time back off bald
He want to feed him some sugar cubes from the old palm if you know what I'm saying
Is it your birthday? Yeah, I be birthday. Thanks, buddy. Yeah, when did that come from?
I saw something on something. Yeah, happy birthday. Thanks, buddy. Yeah, when did that come from? I saw something on something.
Yeah, it was something on something.
I don't know.
Thanks for paying attention to my Instagram,
carcass.
Yeah, both of you.
I fucking like all your shit.
I put it on Twitter.
Huh?
I put it on Twitter.
I brought you the case.
I said happy birthday.
I hold it.
Yeah, you faded out on it.
You hollywooded it.
Did I?
Is it your birthday?
I'm like you're successful.
I don't know if you know this.
Yeah, not really. I get a lot of views on YouTube. Yeah, I know, but you know that. I'm like you first. I don't know if you know this. You're not really. I get like a lot of views on YouTube.
Yeah, I know, but you're not.
I get like a lot of social media clicks.
Yeah.
Success in...
The show business is one thing.
Success is a human.
You're failing.
There's a friend.
Yo, you're a good company.
You're literally lousy.
Bobby, that's your gay bar name.
Big buck hunter.
Yeah.
What is, oh, pro. No, but you have to keep it the pro, it. I bar name big buck hunter. Yeah What is oh pro no, but you have to keep the pro it
Hunter pro I'm big. Okay, what what what year how old is your
49
This is the bad guy serious question hang on one second. I thought I was 48 I said hang on for a second. I apologize back off
You both talk hang on one second. I said it again, I'm not gonna break it.
But I'm breaking it.
I thought it was 48.
This morning I was like, I have 48.
Dog goes 49.
I was like,
yup, five, four.
I went through that 20 seconds.
I do not do Botox.
I would never do Botox.
Cause you have great skin.
Thank you buddy.
You have incredible skin.
And it looks as if it could be Botox.
I would never do Botox
Because I want to
I'm all so you're worried about the things you put in your body. No when I
Those of nice fat Joe can I get one off? I liked it. Thank you
This is a sleep. It was too me got one guy over here. It was why I was right. You did it. You did it too
Conti. Yeah, I said we're you? You did it too, country. You sang it.
You sang it.
You saw the set up coming.
Yeah, I mean, from a mile away.
It was like an Australian.
Yeah, don't do that.
Can we.
You need that out?
Except for that stuff.
Yeah, I'm putting that out.
But I'm going to be.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ha, ha, ha.
OK, so you wouldn't do it for what reason?
I made one.
You don't need to, obviously.
But if you want to go bald, I made the decision was... You don't need to obviously, but when I started going bald,
Yeah.
I made the decision I'm just gonna,
I wanna go gracefully.
Okay.
Like my grandfather's want to be coming old guy.
Yeah.
I don't mind being an old guy.
I think old guys, it's cool.
I've always liked a dude,
I always looked at guys in the 50s and 60s and 70s.
Yep.
I like old men, I'm like man,
that's a fucking cool look.
So I don't, I don gonna give a fuck about that.
Yeah.
Both talks for me would be,
you know, there's a problem with it too,
is you have to do it forever,
because you're gonna be that person,
and then if you God forbid, can't do it,
or can't afford to do it at some point,
you're gonna look like a fucking mush.
And there's something you can always tell
when somebody does something to their face.
You can always tell, there's something you can always tell when somebody does something to their face.
You can always tell, is that little, you, hey, what's up?
And you're trying to turn your head like a dog.
What's up with your lip?
You know what I mean?
There's something up with fucking like Dennis Quaid.
It's like, I just saw him in fucking Goliath season three.
I'm like, man, what's up with something happened to Dennis?
Yeah, yeah.
Something what's up with his lip. And then you, yeah, something what's up with his lip?
Yeah, and then you like eyes fucking
As a lip and pull back and I get it because at your business I get that actors do it because they have to look a certain way
I get completely I said yeah, I mean, oh yeah the lip look at that. Hey
It's all first. Yeah, I'm up with it, you know, but whatever. No me. I would never get it
And I would never get a hair if I was gonna do anything
It would be the hair you want hair again
You you created if they came out with the thing. Yeah, dude rub the shit I had four times
How much how much do you have you look like a fuck?
First of all, yeah, I'll show you what I look like and I look like a fuck
Yeah, you can't show me an old picture you with hair. It's not gonna look the same as if you put air on your second hang on a second fucking anti woke. Yeah, don't yell at me like a yell at your daughter
Get the fucking call you
Fuck it as well. I don't do it. I would like I did it. I did a hair piece for a while. I know you did
I'm talking about if I got a hair, if I got a hair again, I would
get back into, I would get this done before I got this done. I'm not going to get
perfect hair and just be fucking job with the hot with a wig. All right. If you
lost 120, come on. That's already. If you had that on now now you know how funny that would look look at that
Your build right now look at that. Oh my god close
But you didn't know you were gonna lose that did you can I look yeah, I'm sure that stop what you fucking that's Dylan
What's the guy's name man?
I'm back off with you Tony Robbins energy okay
You got a weird clap, man.
Dude, you're a man.
I made a weird clap, right?
You're like, why is this one?
No.
You watch him Tony.
Robin.
A lot of women are going to tell you how to rape them.
That is false.
False.
I did not rape anybody.
But you, you're a black woman.
You'd like to be raped, wouldn't you?
Now a lot of people are going to say that that's
re-configured. You're going to say that that's weak. I'm gonna say that.
Look at this crap.
Look at this.
This crap.
Oh my god.
That's because he has gigantic hands.
Is that it?
Yeah, he's got gigantic hands in it.
Get them to slap into each other.
He could let it cause an earthquake.
Yeah.
Uh, damn, you're funny.
Fuck it up.
That's his thing, man.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
You fucking remember that. That's what boy Mark opens for me. Your funny fucking
Mark opens for me and he was you just laughing like this one so it's like are you Tony?
That's funny drill some people forget how handsome Bobby Kelly was back on the day, bro You are driving him trainees wild
Hey Bobby you want to take me off a burger?
I was fucking, I was smoking.
You're good, look man.
I was looking when I was young too.
Well, let's not get, I was way better looking than you.
Dude, Puerto Rican, Bobby, bro.
Yeah, I was way better.
Is it true you're Puerto Rican?
No, my or shittang, you fucking weirdo.
I heard you were adopted.
I hope.
Rich boss still in that.
Yeah, you really listen to robots.
That's it. That's it. You get in tough from a fucking queer with a hat. It by ho rich for us still that yeah, you really listen
You get in tough I'm a fucking queer with a hat
Stop stop alpha male on my phone. I'm gonna fucking throw something
You read an alpha male book
Control the control their things
You control the person Mike Vecchion and that picture my phone longer than I want to stop you Dude, yeah, hold you're telling me you don't think there's any Puerto Rican in you right there?
Well, that was Puerto Rican Bobby you look like that's Puerto Rican Bob that's Puerto Rican that's Lewis Gay Gomez
I'll take the bomb tell
I don't want to give you for that.
Yeah, I'll look at that fucking.
That's where it started sliding, right?
He's not it.
I'm not sure if you got it.
You got two cut.
Click on the one above it.
I'm a comedian right there.
That's where it started sliding.
No, it's been gone.
But that's you now. No, that's that's right
No, no, no, that was that but the same I was same wisdom
You've taken that from that the other guys are different the other guys like hey, I want to fit in yeah
That was a large shirt. That was a large shirt. Yeah, which one the blue one no the one
The one will back to the blue one right there the light blue saddle. Yeah, this yeah, what I want to know
What do they tell you? What was your motivation? They go to take it and they go Ed Hardy's not cool anymore
Dane gave me that already that was that favorite shirt. I got that shit at Marshall's I had to
$4 come on Marshall was a tranny
200 bucks for two at hearty. Yeah, I paid $4 for that shirt at Marshall's a red tag sale.
But it was when it was done.
Yeah, dude.
But here's a problem.
Okay, how old are you?
35.
Yeah, okay.
Almost 36.
I don't know if I have that.
October 30th.
35 and a half.
You're gonna have to keep your shits together.
35 and a half.
35 and a half.
I get the fuck, the good part about me. Yeah, this is when I knew I was going bald
I said I'm shaving it way before I went ball out ahead of it before so people I when I hit
Torgasm when I stay like who is the bald guy?
Yes, I didn't want to be the guy with hair and then I'm fucking done like Jordan any always known him as bald
Larry bird fucking shitty hair
True the worst haircut in in any sport
Larry bird Larry bird and the guy who's pitch for the diamondbacks. Yes, those two guys
Yes, worst hair Larry birds hair. I mean bang. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking bangs with little wings. Little wings.
Bans will wings. Yeah, dude. And then Randy Johnson.
Hot back then, though. Oh, maybe that was hot back then. Maybe.
No, it was never. I do. It was never. I was a Celtic fan.
It was. Oh, that's right. We hated his hair.
But you put up a lot of hair.
You used to be more hair was better. That's why people would grow
it longer. More hair was better. That was sexier. Yeah.
Look at Randy Johnson. Oh, the worst. That was probably Sí. ¡Vos lo de Randy Johnson! ¡Oh, el mundo de la gente!
¡Dónde es su gran malo!
¡Vos lo de la gente!
¡Oh, él tiene un gran malo!
¡Todo, sí!
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Anyways, let me ask you a question, Drew.
Yeah, talk to me, baby.
So like, if you, you've never seen a transgender woman that you were like, well, she's, she's
kind of hot.
No.
Never.
No.
See, that's the thing, too.
I know guys, I know guys who are like,
but keep in mind, I've slept with girls
that I don't think are a tribe.
Yeah, so it's, I thought you would do it.
I'm not saying that, no, no, I wouldn't,
but like what I'm saying is,
you know, happy or make me feel
if it all came out that you just fucking banged.
Love them.
You just, maybe I got caught up by one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe it's possible.
You did?
Maybe.
Maybe who knows?
You think you got a blow job or you fucked one?
No, I think you'd feel if you fucked it.
Yeah, because you're riding your ass.
They fucked it.
I think I saw this trans last night.
How do you know?
I know she came in my mouth.
And then I had a cleaner this trans last night. How do you know? I don't know, she came in my mouth. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Every fucking guy and it bums them out because you're gonna see a trans girl wants to be the girl
She doesn't want a fucking dude. She doesn't want you to blower
She wants you to fuck her like a girl. Yeah, and every fucking straight guy most of them married
Want to be fucked of course the first thing a fucking straight white guy wants is a dick and his
ass that's what he said and it's like I want my asshole eaten by strangers yes I
do but I don't know I want your ass all eaten to it but you're ass I don't thank you I
don't know you never said I would never wish anybody to eat my asshole right now
really no not oh my god let's say you. There's a whole donut back here, Bobby. Dude, what happened?
Yeah, that's what I wanted.
You're storing candy back here.
Oh no, what is this ear?
Oh, that's a skin tag, sorry.
Oh.
Oh.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Guys, I got to make comics laugh.
I got to take it farther.
Yeah, okay, if he's a wrap of the people.
That's what I would want.
On the road, if my wife, and my wife is said,
I go, would you eat my ass?
She goes, no, someone else can. But I don't know if she wife and my wife is said I go would you eat my ass she goes no someone else can
But I don't know she don't wife my wife said that
Really someone else could eat my ass so you can hook up with other women on the road
I think I can't have sex with them
But if they want to eat my ass, but that's not an easy thing you can't just take someone back to your hotel room
Be like look at mine. Oh, we can do as you can eat my ass. You know first of all. Yes. It is. It's easy
Come on thought I did it for years.
You just had women eat your ass.
Buddy, look at me.
Yeah, I am.
I had a waitress here.
They used to, a bartender, not a waitress,
a bartender here, that's all she did.
Would eat your ass.
Smoking hot pork.
Or would eat your ass at the same time.
Smoking hot pork and girl, we'd hook up,
she'd go, come on, it's going to eat your ass.
We'd go up to my place.
One more time, I told the story before.
It was hot.
It was just like a sunny day.
We went up there and she went to eat my ass,
she goes, slap me on the bum, she goes, go wash your bum.
I ran and cleaned my butt, came back,
she just ate my ass and fucking jerked it off.
That was my thing.
That's what I want.
That was my thing.
That's what I want.
I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the,
I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I
like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I
like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like
the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the,
I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like
the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the,
I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like
the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I
like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the,
I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like the, I like No penetration you don't like something in your bum. You just they can't they never look at you the same again
I'll tell you what I can say something about that girl can never respect you after she puts something your ass
I disagree not the same. I disagree but
It depends on the girl, but if it's a girl if it's your girl if it's a wifey you cannot let her do that
If it's a wifey. Yes, if it's a girl you mean Vegas. Oh, it doesn't matter because you don't care as he looks at you
But like guys that let their girlfriends like strap on or like put fingers in their ass. Yep. They cannot respect you again
Anytime you even if they want to do it. There's no way they can fuck them respect anytime you fight with them
They're gonna have that thing like that. It's like what do you want? Yeah? What do you want? I should when you're getting there
Talking about you when I was balls the plastic in you.
Oh that's fucking hurt.
Yeah, it's just, I need that look right in her eye.
Like, honey, you can't fucking, don't do that anymore.
What's that?
I said don't fucking talk to me like that anymore.
Why don't you turn around and we can do that thing you like.
What?
Like right now?
I'm here excited.
You did your abs. Yeah, that's my face. But um, but yeah man, it's, I'm here excited. I did your abs. Yeah, that's fun.
But, um, but yeah, man, it's, I don't know.
Yeah.
We're too welcome with that, too.
I'll tell you this though, it is over to get stuff in your butt and I had stuff in my
butt.
It's just fingers in my butt.
Yeah.
It's does, there's nothing in it.
It feels good outside.
Yeah, inside your balls, the little line,
but inside there's nothing in there to make you feel.
There's no, you know what I mean?
I guess there's a male G spot.
That's why gay dudes made up.
So that is fuck you and they ask.
That's not a real thing.
No, what you're saying is not a real thing.
I promise you, gay guys, women made up.
So they can fuck you in the ass.
No, they're going.
Everything you need.
I love that you're spreading lies like it's fat.
Bobby, I'm right here.
Don't take your hat off because that doesn't make a good more serious.
Bobby, do you want to see a full-length man who said they have a G spot in the ass to
explain the birth of AIDS?
Patient Zero was a monkey that had a G spot attached to
his finger. You really believe that you have a G spot in your ass. You truly believe
that I explain it to you. Please. Okay, can you settle down?
You know, I don't know if I can't Barbie. I don't know if I can't have a Reese
Listen to the blood sugar What inside it's it's your prostate. Okay, let me taste up. Do you know what a prostate is?
I don't believe that's a thing he goes to the doctor's
I don't believe that
So my prostate is just in my ass you don't think they put it further up there and you're stomach
Which are construct by the Illuminati? They're not a real thing. You don't need all your toenails. No, there you go
I've lost a few look at that
That's a right there. Yeah, prostate is right there
Bobby has a lot of
Sanity right now if you rub your prostate that is the male g spot
It will make you your orgasm will be more intense.
Now, prostate fluid can come out of your penis
and it's not come.
It's actually a yellow substance, okay?
So yes, if you rub, if you get in there
and get on that prostate in a certain way,
I don't know how.
Let me tell you how.
You can actually come.
See that little thing that's going down the dick?
Go back to, I don't know why he's leaving that. leaving that will you that I don't know what the process is, but it looks like it's covering part of your dick
No, no line. Yeah, did you be your re-thra? Yeah, your re-thra goes to the prostate
Yeah, so your prostate gland is right there if you rub that
That's a made up gland. What kind of doctor goes out there and in vents and like tries to put fingers up your fucking ass. It's bullshit Bobby. It's bullshit
I'm really believe in
I'm getting a doctor right now. I don't know a doctor. I do know a doctor. Who you calling? Russ beneath? I'm calling Dr. Steve. Oh, there's a gay doctor friend.
Okay. I know. That's a joke for him.
Hey, joke for me only.
It's his birthday. Give him the joke.
Fuck, sucker. Okay.
Listen, can I talk to him?
No, you're not going to put your headphones on and you're fucking mook.
Sir.
I get yelled at everybody
hey listen wait let me handle this
alright
I'll stay in position and start over
Steve real quick do you have a second to talk to a
start to Steve
why do I get pulled out?
you live on my podcast I have a gentleman here
who believes that the prostate
glans can I praise it because you're
fucking it up already.
I think a phrase again.
But first of all, Steve!
Right now, say please.
Real quick.
Really quick.
Relaxed, Steve.
Aaron Berg, first time long time.
OK.
How you doing?
OK, Dr. Steve.
How you doing?
My name is Andrew.
Now, are you a real doctor?
You like a veterinarian?
What are you?
Yes, I am a practicing physician.
Okay, practicing physician.
But I've done practicing, maybe I'll get it right.
Okay.
I like it.
There you go.
That's Dr. Eumann.
That's a real doctor.
That's what doctor.
Okay, shut.
Looks like I left my keys in there.
Okay, so is it true or false?
Is it true or false that the male G spot is a thing
gay guys made up so that they could touch your butt hole
and go deep inside it to your prostate?
Ah, okay, well, okay, this is a fact.
I told you!
Let me do that!
I told you!
You think it is a time!
He would have just said no!
Let the doctor talk. He went to school
Andrew you've got cancer
Look here's the thing the G spot is kind of in medical circles is sort of
Medical in the sense that even in the female there doesn't seem to be an anatomic
Structural I've been telling not a good second years a second years this time. We can call the G-Spot.
Now, there are people who really enjoy having their prostate massaged.
It's erogenous, you know, it's kind of dirty.
It's been, but it also feels good to have all, you know,
if, you know what blue balls is, right?
Do you know what it is physiologically?
Yes, actually. I know what blue balls is right do you know what it is physiologically yes actually I know with that in the prostate so we'll say that again because he
talked over you suggestion of the prostate and in other words there's fluid a
collection of fluid in prostate exactly and when you when say the penis is
stimulated or their sexual stimulation
the prostate starts to fill up with fluid and it's anticipating a bus that is
going to be then ejected out the end of the penis in a
you're talking to a bunch of comedians they know it blue balls is now
yes we want to get back to this process yeah so when you're sexually stimulated
and you empty that out it feels good and And if you empty it out manually, it feels good.
So there are people that really enjoy having a finger stuck up their ass.
Right.
Matt, you know, having the prostate, but it doesn't mean it works for everybody.
Correct.
So it maybe just works for people that like a finger up their ass.
Correct.
And who likes to finger up their ass?
Amazing.
The games. I get you see what I'm saying. ass correct and who likes to figure out their ass that's all the the games
i get you see i'm saying it's a myth it's complete made up and people
act like it's a button you can press
that is just
it's got a well what's a well go
now where that means comes from is that you can make someone express
fluid of the end of their penis and uh... almost a hundred percent of the
time people will mistake that for any jack you like this someone expressed fluid out the end of their penis and almost 100% of the time.
People will mistake that for any ejaculation. But there's no orgasm with it.
It's just pure fluid dynamics. In other words, when you put your finger in
somebody's ass and then you massage the prostate, so what you do is you go the
right side and you press down and pull out toward the rectum. Then you go to the left side, do the same and then go right down the middle. And what'll
happen is fluid is sort of yellow milky, but not really semen. It's more watery.
Right. Fluid will pull out of the penis. And you do this like if someone's got a prostate
infection, you look at it under the microscope. Right. Hopefully you remember to give them a slide
to hold under it. that it's not coming.
So you're not coming.
So it's not coming.
You're not coming.
It's not a G-Spie at all.
And it's a complete myth that was made up.
So I'm 100% right.
So I'm 100% right.
So I'm 100% right.
It depends.
Like if you say, yeah, this always will stimulate somebody, then that's not true of anything
that you said.
Thank you.
You know, so what are you talking about? That's not true of anything. Thank you. That's it. You know, so what are you talking about?
That's not true.
It's not a myth that people do it.
And it's not a myth that, you know,
that there are people who are stimuli.
I'm right.
I have to give it up when I'm right.
I'm right.
Okay.
So what you're saying is that it's not,
it's not actually a thing, but some people
like having their prostate rub. Okay, so
they're people. There's a lot of doctors that's in their place. And they're connected
to the spinal column. Right. And you can get sexual stimulation. So there's no, but there's
no male tantric and all that shit is just horseshit. Absolutely. I'm going to have to the fuck it, then. It's ninja. Who's this?
It's not Horseshit.
My friend, I'm going to be in the hands of you.
I can't.
It's not Horseshit.
No, hang on one second.
You shut the fuck up before I break a new iPhone.
Fuck a cock, sucker.
Give me a hammer.
I just think it's a call.
The whole, sorry, go ahead.
It's fine.
You're going to be in a fuck of fool, right?
Listen, Steve, fuck a lot.
Appreciate it.
It's just more subtle than that. It it's just it's more subtle and complex because human sexuality
Just can't be defined as
One thing or the other you know, all right
I mean
Exactly how
Quick example
An example we we had a
example example
we we had a uh... limit and say i just heard of a case right where uh... they
found like
uh... six
uh... bobby pins inside this guy's bladder
is that what you call bobby's fingers
uh...
no bobby pins
and maybe just give you point that may doesn't make it funny
that the doctor laugh that's why I pointed it
Doctor he anyway He put six bobby pins in this guy's bladder and after you know my fingers you wanted jokes. Sorry, go ahead, right
Yeah, so anyway the guy was got sexual stimulation by shoving bobby pins up his cock hole, you know, and so
shoving Bobby pins up his cock hole, you know, and so he, you know, is that a thing? No, but there are people that do that. It's called urethral sounding. And so, you know, so it's just it's so basically people people that try to men that try to stimulate their
prostate are just as weird as the Bobby pin. That's what you're saying. They're just as weird and stupid people who just like beating off looking at tits you know no no no Steve stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop Who done? Yeah. I do like Steve. I love you buddy. Thanks so much.
Please no Dr. Steve as well.
A lot of real done.
No he is.
I just didn't want to be fired.
I know who he is.
I reached out to you a couple weeks ago.
He's a nice guy.
He's a great guy.
Can we admit that I'm right about this?
This is a myth.
Well, I mean, I would have to say first of all.
Yeah.
I would have to say, all right, stop.
Yeah.
Stop it.
You'll learn lawn order face.
Give him a gission hands for your explanations.
I would, I would, I would have to say you're right.
I would have to say he's right.
Good for you.
I would have to say, do you guys want to know more stuff?
Shut up.
Stop.
I can tell you more stuff.
If there's anything you want to know, if there's anything
you're curious about, how to shut you up. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,. Ha ha ha ha. Listen, that's a tough one. A shadow band on Instagram.
A shadow band.
A shadow band.
A shadow band.
What is that?
How do I get unshadowed bands?
Are you shadow bands?
Wait a couple.
How do you know that?
Because I used to get 70,000 views on shit.
Now I get fucking five.
Let me look.
What do you have a shadow band app?
No, but shadow band basically means like.
If you type in your name and it doesn't come up, or Kevin Brennan was shadow band app? No, but shadow band basically means it's like if you type in your name and it doesn't come up
or Kevin Brennan was shadow band for a bit,
type it in, nothing has come up.
So what they do is they hide your account,
your account, right?
They hide it below the search bar.
So it will come up if you type the exact name,
but you have to scroll away, pass it,
and most people, let me say, what is it,
Robert Kelly live?
Yeah. No, I'm shadow band right. Let me see what is it? Robert Kelly live. Yeah.
No. I'm not not a mine. That's the other thing. You're only it's not bringing ubiquitous. Certain people will be able to see. What would you call me? Are you ubiquitous?
Dude, look at I told you. I'm married. Yeah. I have a wife. Yeah. Yeah. I have a kid. Yeah. I put
stuff in my I put any dicks in my butt. I got know, I mean yeah, I know I'm gonna be Chris again clock second. I will I
You come up right away, you know, I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just robber
And it comes I just dig maybe I put up more exciting stuff
I put up the same thing I do it. He told me to do put up a crowd work special
What's oh what he did? Yeah, put up a crowd work special. Let me see what's oh what he did. Yeah, put up a crowd work special
Let me see let me see well you know what they're doing. They're starting to chop down on that
Why I think they're starting to chop down on clips a little bit why because
They don't want fuck them too much success with shit. Why who don't want anything to become rampant this interview
Inserves sucks dude. What are you gonna get on?
I'm on you to from now on Robert Kelly on YouTube. No use it all do it all
I put it everywhere but Instagram they flag you Instagram
They just want everything to be like this positive happy experience where people are dancing and shit like that
It's fucking stupid. Yeah, but that being said it is nice to have a positive place or have
Instagram that'll also be cool. I'm not yeah, I'm like yeah, I get it
If you're if you're like I stay more positive on Instagram that I do on Twitter Twitter. I'm a dick
Twitter is your island. Yeah, I'm well. I fucking go after the
You go yeah, Twitter is fucking I mean
Twitter's front it's a game from me
Yeah, you play it well. You know how to like rile them up. Yeah targeted with it
Yeah, yeah, but that's what you're supposed to do. Yeah, Twitter's
I hate fucking Twitter. I fucking love it. It's just I hate it. Huh? It's a weird game
But this is what happens when I when you know, everybody gets into the game
They're gonna find ways to kind of throttle it at first when you get into it it, it's nobody's there, so everybody's really excited.
But then when everybody's there,
there's just a lot more shit to compete with.
This is one thing that blows me away
is that back when Facebook popped,
Twitter popped out, Facebook started getting hot.
And then all of a sudden,
there was all this shit every other month,
there was a fucking new thing that we were doing.
It seems like that's just died.
Like they bought each other out and said,
fucking no more.
It's just us. What they bought each other out and said, fuck no more. It's just us.
What?
TikTok.
What's that?
TikTok is Instagram, but it's just video.
And it's a bunch of kids and they're just putting videos up.
And some of them are just like lip syncing,
some of them are dancing, but some are creating
kind of like really fucked up dark content.
It's kind of wild.
Like dark, like high school fucked up dark content. It's kind of wild, like dark, like high school kids,
creating dark content.
Wow, what do you mean dark?
Just like kind of like fucked up shit.
Proofs, they're real, so the fuck that?
Yeah.
It's dark web shit, you know?
I can't believe that your take on that.
I thought the transgender thing,
I thought you'd be a little more open-minded about it.
He is, but he's done the research on it.
No, but-
It's not that I'm not open-minded.
It's like, anytime you ask a question, I think-
I don't think you would think of a critical.
I don't give a fuck what anybody does with their body.
It means nothing to me.
It's just, to me, it's just as like, odd as putting those holes in your ears
for the earrings that get bigger.
Yeah, engaging.
It's gauging, is that what's called?
It's just like, okay, you can do that.
I wouldn't do it, but if you want to do it fine,
if that makes you feel better, cool.
I just am curious about what's going through their head
because so much of the shit is conflicting, right?
If gender is a social construct, right?
No.
Then why do you need to change your gender?
So by acknowledging that you have to change your gender, you're saying that gender is binary.
Nobody changes their gender to genderless. It's male to female, female to male. So you're saying
there's two genders, which alone is not a progressive thought. It's not over the mind. It's supposed
to be 60 genders. Can I say something? Yeah. If I, I guess I'm just old from that generation
in the 80s and 90s or whatever, I think if I was hanging out
in my neighbor, whoever he was, Gary,
one day just walked up in the dress
and transitioned into a woman,
I wouldn't fucking blink an eyelash.
It wouldn't, I wouldn't even affect me. I wouldn't fucking blink an eyelash.
It wouldn't, I wouldn't even affect me.
I wouldn't be like, what the fuck?
I'm like, what's up? What a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a. And if somebody wears a slightly goofy sweater,
you will lay into that motherfucker.
Yeah, Mike can't.
His jacket is terrible tonight.
It's the same.
I mean, literally, it used to be a couch.
Okay.
And he made it into a jacket.
Mike can't, more addressed to the back table.
You'd go, can't with anybody does with that body.
You gotta do that.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
you're giving two different examples.
Okay.
You're giving a friend of mine.
If you wrote it with a trash.
That's what you play funny.
Yeah.
We were at the table the other night
and there's a transor comic that works here.
I forget her name.
A Jamie Brad.
Yes, Jamie.
She's a friend of mine.
She's a good friend.
Yeah, and Vos, we're all at the table
and Vos goes, hey, Jay, how's it going?
You moved from Albany?
I guess she used to live up in Albany. I'm like that and he goes
And it's me key wolf
Work fuel was there and that Russian was like a hey, she you move up from Albany where you live now
You know she's Brooklyn and he's like oh, I like Brooklyn and then keep goes
Yeah, what are you doing? What is this nice guy shit that you're just not who you are?
What the fuck is this you just try to be nice because whatever and then he goes kind of laughs you
So it's not gonna be over yet
Before he immediately turned back on the balls. I'm not saying I'm not saying that I wouldn't fucking pass a valentine to a planet
I wouldn't get our boxer Valentine's day. I'd go in it. I wouldn't get her a box of chocolates.
Okay, come on.
Of course I would I would be funny.
My sense of humor wouldn't go away.
That's all I'm saying.
Absolutely, but I wouldn't neither were you curious when I met when I met Jay.
Yeah.
I walked into a radio station up in Albany to do the room.
I immediately knew she was trans.
Yeah.
And I was like, what's up?
And she's like, what's up?
And I never asked her, I don't care if you tell me if you don't tell me I know what you are. Yeah. And I was like, what's up? And she's like, what's up? And I never asked her, I don't care if you tell me, if you don't tell me, I know what
you are.
And then I was like, you should come down to a spot tonight.
She came down to the spot in her show.
She reveals to everybody halfway through.
She's trans.
Right.
And she's fucking hilarious.
And we were friends ever since.
Yeah, nobody said that.
I never asked if she had a penis.
I never asked if she, if she, if she, that shit don't matter, I don't give a fuck.
I'm, see, I'm more curious in that regard
Joe because it's something it's that's so it like the investment is so huge and I'm just a curious guy like my uber driver
As an accent I ask him where he's from you know, so it's like if somebody's has Jay was a man and his now
One yeah, she's hilarious to by the way funny her funny
Yeah, what and she's hilarious to by the way funny her funny
She's so Jesus Christ
Let's like she'd be everybody everybody got don't defend it everybody got to take it. That's what we do No, right of course and she would she would laugh at that too. Yeah, that's why she's
The trend the trend went up in Canada not funny. She post pictures of her tits all lopped off and shit
Really? Yeah, damn scars, bro. I was gonna fight that one, you know what I'm telling you
I just like that one. I'd want to do it at Skankfest maybe that'd be hilarious before she gets all the testosterone
Yeah, you gotta get it now because I'm not as flexible as I used to be you can't get around jacked up with a
to be. You can't get around jacked up with the jacked up.
Jacked up with the jacked up.
Kevin starts tossing me around.
She gets wings.
She gets those fucking wings like Bruce Lee.
He's looking like kangaroos.
I'm fucking tapping out a night run of
skank first.
I'm fucking fake clit-dick all over my
fucking nose.
So anyway, yeah, I'm just curious.
Kangaroos are small.
Dude, look at that.
They are fucking small.
I also don't think that they should be exempt because they're friends
Trying I can't stand you do agree nobody should be exempt this fight was exempt because they were trans
Nobody was going after it's you know rapin and beating the shit out of women
They would have come after you fucking long ago. There was a ton of fake ones in Canada
that were trying to shut people down.
Really?
Yeah, ton of fake ones.
That's all it is, just kind of setting it.
It's like if you don't make fun of something,
you just don't respect them.
You're literally, literally.
Yeah, it's kind of sad.
But I don't, I don't, I don't, I mean,
I, the curi, like I have a friend
who's married to a transgender woman
and I've never asked him, everybody's like,
dude, does he get fucked?
No way. I don't't I don't know you care
You just want to know for the sake of knowingly ask that because that's what we're thinking
Yeah, I don't I don't know the reason why I don't care is like I don't ask mentally you'll person
Which one You gotta be crazy to do it.
So, there's more to it.
It's fucking fun.
Jig on me a lot of our time.
Yo, it is.
It is.
That's a little bit of a huge one.
It is strictly curiosity. And if you can't be curious,
is that's becoming like bigoted?
I think it's just so stupid.
I don't think you can't, this is, I'm not saying you can't.
I don't know if fuck if you are.
You can ask whatever questions you want.
I'm just saying it might be my age
or might be where I'm at in life.
Or the only thing, my care is very focused,
it's on three people.
And that's all I really give a fuck about and it's kid
No, no you call and then my kid
No, but you know what I'm saying is I'm very focused in on that shit
So all I have a kid I don't got a wife you when you will someday and then I won't give a fuck about these other things
But until then you'll be curious about that shit. But also, I think Bobby walks up a very line.
It's like, we were talking about the shit,
we were talking about the shit, we were talking about the shit.
Yeah, but when you get older,
you could also have this close-minded thing,
we're like, all that matters is my family.
And then, that's also where small-mindedness is bred.
Well, no, I'm not saying,
hey, I don't want my kid hanging out
with these people in turn, and it could go the other way.
I'm not saying that's where you hold it.
I'm saying,
what if your kid said they identified his trans,
he's six years old.
My kid?
Yeah, and he wants to start doing the therapy
with the drugs.
I would say this right now.
I don't have to worry about he hasn't, and he's not,
and I'm,
I have hypothenical.
Hang on, no, hang on.
I'm happy I don't have to deal with that
because that would be hard.
The parents that do deal with that would be
Fucking crazy to have to figure that puzzle out. It's really hard to puzzle figure out. No, it's hard
That's what I say to you. I brought it up tonight and if woman goes I go I go I have a daughter
She's a girl
She's a girl and I go I know it know it's brave of me to assign a gender
to somebody with a gender.
But so I do that and she goes,
she goes, I love comedy.
And she goes, she goes, well, hopefully,
you know, when she hits pierabot, she doesn't do,
she doesn't tell you the other thing, like my son did.
And I go, what was that like?
And you could just see her get quiet.
And she wanted to say in public this thing,
like I was embracing it and she goes,
I was really fucking torn.
Yeah, no one was so nice.
I wouldn't want to fucking deal with that.
Yeah, to be honest with you.
No.
I can't sit here and say this, I don't know what I'll do
as my son being a boy on certain things every day that I
learn. It's like, fuck, how do you do this? How do you do that? How do you not?
Yeah, how do you not hit? How do you? All right, when I got to teach him about
his ding ding or his goobies, you start to act about his goobies. His balls.
Why come goobies? Does that even want him to say balls? Yeah.
Didn't think of something better than you. Then you think of something goobies.
What are you going to call you? you what are you gonna call your daughters for giant your bits?
Your bits same goobies and bits of the same thing
To you
My chin
Flirtin you guys I said goobies you guys
You got love you guys. Yeah, I say go be you guys
Who is not weird he sounds like you want to eat it?
And boobies I get look I get it. It's a nice cute turn. It's a cute term. You fucking scum
I'm not ruining your thing. I'm just saying it's not you're kind of already ruined it
I already ruined it because you let this jackal was
Like a purple It's a fucking puppy that won't shut the fuck up
People not a people people sits quietly jump Sunson there you go goobies
After a candy you sick fuck
Don't watch the dog have your goobies
those are those
that's we know what you're doing
you're fucking doing but he was
alright relax with one
man show you
hello
it's me it's
goobies part two me new show
the american voice will be at the pummel theater
I made it all up on the ride over
Have you noticed their planes coming over to e-fro is different than planes going to LAX where'd you get that shirt mate?
Where you keep your muzzies
Where you keep your mousies? Alright, so this girl's sucking on me goobies.
And then I got my goobies all over her knuckles.
Listen, so he was asking about his balls.
He was like, what are these little things inside?
It's like shit like that.
It's like, how are you going to figure out? I wouldn't be able to fucking imagine figuring out if It's like shit like that. Is like how are you gonna figure out,
I wouldn't be able to fucking imagine figuring out
if he was like, I feel bad, I wanna wear a dress.
I'm like, whoa, you'd say no.
Jesus fuck.
I look, I don't wanna say this.
I don't know what I would say.
You do, you just don't wanna say it?
No, that's not what I would say.
You'd say no.
I would answer you honestly right now. I'm telling you. I don't know to say it? No, that's not I would say no. I would I would I would answer you honestly right now
I'm telling you okay. I don't know what I would fucking say I am just glad I don't have to yeah
I'm glad right now in my life. I don't he doesn't have to because that would be a
hard thing to
To take in I would have to take in a ton of information about this about it from a lot of people on
Every side to make my decision on what the right thing for my sandwich. Do you let your son choose what he eats every day?
I
He chooses a lot. Yeah, he makes a lot of decisions, but does he choose what he has for breakfast lunch and dinner?
He makes decisions. Yes. We'll we'll say what do you know?
I'll tell you you know, let me get this is? No, I'll tell you. He'll let me get.
I'll tell you. No, I'll tell you.
You want this, this or this?
You make a choice.
So you make the choice.
No, he makes the choice.
He makes the choice.
You want to check it out.
I got his spaghetti in my pocket.
Give him the kid a choice to me.
Giving him the responsibility of making a choice.
When he's fucking up about the fuck up, it's a choice.
I know, I go, this is you. I, right now, you get to make this choice.
That's right.
Make it.
Whatever you do, this, this, this things again.
It's, this isn't gonna be fun.
That's gonna be awesome.
You make the choice.
And he's made the bad choice.
And it's like, I, this is what happens.
But never irreparable damage.
What do you mean?
Like, you're not gonna let him choose between.
Chop your penis off or don't.
I get what you're saying
But also I got to say this the fact of giving the kid a choice
You didn't have that I didn't have that I just learned that now that's why we can't make choices
That's why when I'm in a fucking somewhere and I should eat good. I know what I should do
I'm like should I do it? I
Let me tell you something I know I'm sent me. I mean, I'm like, should I do it? Let me tell you something.
No one sent me an article on fatherhood today.
And the study says that, and this is amazing article.
I'll send it to you.
A kid with a father, okay?
With a male in the house, his whole life.
Smarter, less likely to go to jail,
more likely to go to college, more likely to go to college.
Okay, everything sounds like
no one was just trying to prove a racial point to you.
No, no, it's true that if you have a male figure
in your life helping you along,
you are going to be a better person.
Girl, oh boy, you just,
moms are fucking important before you jump down
my fucking throat.
I'm not reading the article on moms.
Yes, we know that, huge, but having a male, me being there for my kid is going to be huge for him.
And letting him make those decisions and giving him responsibility to go through, you made that choice.
Now you have this.
He has to go through that. We've we've we've left things in the middle of it.
And he's fucking flipped out.
Because it's just fun as shit ever. Yeah. And we go home and it's not a fuck you. We're leaving.
We're out. It's we're out. I told you you had your choice. You made your choice. Let's go.
And we're gone. And it's very quiet and subtle.
Andrew is a good kid. Yeah, but you have a great lesson where you dad, right? Yeah, I love my dad. Yeah, right exactly
That's why he's confident. He's got shit that I had to find yeah
Unbelievable. Yeah, that's one believable. Yeah, that being said not everybody's gonna have an unbelievable dad
Yeah, but you you can have enough. No, that's a choice by the dad
It's a choice by the dad, but not every dad is gonna make that choice. Yeah, because yeah, that sucks
So because they're selfish.
No, we know, but here's the,
That's why you chose not to be a good dad.
But this is your own shit, come before your kid.
No, sure, no.
Yeah, hang on, stop.
Let me get a daughter yesterday.
It was because I was being selfish.
No, because of what you was given to you.
That wasn't your fault.
I should know better.
That wasn't your fault. Yeah, I should know better. Okay, fine, you do now, because you want to better you. That wasn't your fault. That wasn't your fault.
Yeah, I should know better. Okay, fine. You do now because you want to
better yourself. Yeah, because you're trying to better yourself. You're trying
to do the right thing for yourself. Therefore, you're daughter, your daughter will
benefit from it. But you weren't given that. Right. He was. Okay. So he, the way he is,
you can see his confidence since I met him.
Because his dad gave him that.
Okay, his mom gave him that.
Undeniable point.
Undeniable, he true, but that being said, that's why kids are getting better.
People are worried about changing old white men whose cakes are baked, change your daughter, my son, your kid, your kids.
Yeah, that's how and Make real change how you dude how many fucking parents were shitty back then and they didn't know they were being shitty
They didn't know they had to talk to kids. They didn't know it was okay to talk to you kid about sex
They didn't know they was okay. There's let you take care of feelings a boy have feelings. They didn't know any of that shit
Yeah, okay, and here you look at the kids who have it
and you can see the major difference.
100%.
But if you don't have it, wait, you just quit.
No, you have to learn it.
You have to go through it.
Exactly.
Yeah, you do.
Which sucks.
You can change the situation, you change perspective.
So it's like, you change the person.
Now you change your perspective.
Like if I can't change the situation,
if somebody that I love has cancer and I cannot change the fact that they have cancer, right, I have
to change my perspective on that cancer. Well, I'll say that's the only way you can have
any happiness. I've had fathom. I bet it would not be prostate cancer. Because that's
a myth. Yeah. I believe in prostate cancer. Of course you. I do believe in prostate cancer. I do believe in prostate cancer. I'm not gonna lie. I do believe in prostate cancer
Why anybody I've noticed that I'm so glad you noticed it. Yeah why that isn't a thing because why fucking comics at the end of the day and
thing because why fucking comics at the end of the day and we're thinking I would have roached this guy and if he was in front of us clap it like a stupid
skillet's it's like he has two pans in his hand
I can't stand it but yeah I love you Bobby I love you too buddy I can't stand it But I love you Bobby. I love you too, buddy. I can't wait to you ever kid. Holy shit man. That's gonna be so cool
Yeah, trans day one
The old China second daughter
China's second daughter. I hope it's a homophadized thesis.
I'm as a nice vagin' of fucking goobies.
So there's the trans thing that makes sense though, right?
What's that?
So my girlfriends.
Is it transvest?
Is it her friends?
No, my girlfriends like cousin or something,
they were twins, right?
And one of the twins came out as a hermavardite.
And the parents have to make incredibly tough decisions in that moment what the kids gonna be. So you choose dick or pussy but
you don't know what the wiring is. The doctors do testing on where but they
never write but they can test on if she's more female or a man. But there's a
situation where let's say they choose dick, right, when it turns out they're wired as female,
I 100% buy that trans thing because they're
wiring has always been female the whole time.
Yeah.
But then, okay, so take that scenario.
Yes.
That does happen where a human being is born both.
Yes.
So why, why can you not, okay, so why, if that person is born with. Yes. So why? Why do you, why can you not?
Okay, so why?
If that person is born with both organs, the biology is there.
And the biology is there, right?
Why can't it go the other way?
It can.
But why can't it be like, okay, I didn't grow the, I didn't go, I didn't, I, I think
humans can just, the, the, the body and the genes and all the stuff can just do all this
amazing, you can grow a fucking head off your chest and they can go, hey, I mean, I'm can just the body and the genes and all the stuff can just do all this amazing.
You can grow a fucking head off your chest and they can go, hey, I'm your fucking twin.
There's so much shit that can happen.
Okay.
Why can't it?
Why is it so unbelievable that a man, a woman was born with genitalia?
It can.
It can't happen.
So that's all a trans person really is.
I'm not denying that they exist right?
I'm just curious. I'm just asking questions. There's no malice you know, listen
I need to hook up with one. I'm gonna get your girl immediately. I'm gonna get you a girl
Are you are you seeing somebody right now? I am really what was she was she's probably smoking nice looking girl
man, where was the tie-in Irish?
Jewish what?
She is a English
She's got an accent no good, but also some Jewish
My mom's goddess Gordon raise a Scotland my dad Irish
Why raise a scullant my dad Irish and I thought you're Jewish guys Why?
He's a New Yorker to New Yorker. There's a lot of things. I was just gonna scream nose
Would you get that shit nice tits on you? All right, film that did you get that Instagram?
Think can I use that?
The just making fun of the big nose, I'd love to take that.
Oh yeah.
I don't wanna get taken out.
I still wanna get on TV someday.
Yeah, that's hilarious.
You've been on TV a whole bunch.
Stan, TV's dead.
You think so?
Yeah.
You know what dude?
Here's a deal.
I think you might be right.
So I was trying to tell my wife.
My wife said to me, I think eight months ago,
look, when are you gonna get another acting job?
I'm like, first of all, that's not how it works.
Yeah.
I go second of all, I don't know.
I've done so much stuff in the name of funny
over the last 15 years.
Yeah, you would be more than a big job.
I don't know if I could because of, you know, whatever.
Maybe you could, I think it's gonna be a point where people don't give a fuck
Yeah, and I think when you when you do get bagged when they go hey, you got this if you go yeah
I don't care. I was being funny fuck you. That's what I said no one said that yet. No one's gone
Yeah, yeah, everybody everybody goes like this. I'm sorry. Oh, they don't say anything
I also want to take it to the next level when they do it and go yeah, if you don't like it go fuck yourself
Yeah, go fuck yourself. Yeah, and you'll lose that job come after the people
But dude when you see Shane on the street now and you see how Shane is handling Shane Gillis who's that?
You know, we don't mention that name on this podcast. Why is that because of what he did? Oh
Oh, no, he punched Max. What?
Anyways, that's gonna set a precedent where it's gonna, you know, it'll start it'll start to get easier
Yeah, well see what happens. Yeah. All right. Well, that's a whole other fucking podcast. This is a great show man
Get off your phone you fucking 10-year-old. Yeah, sorry. I
Had to because I have it. I didn't matter you sorry. Should be. I had to, because I have, I have to go.
That doesn't matter.
You're on my show.
What do you got to go?
I didn't see you when you're on Rogan Show getting on your phone.
You're damn right about that.
Yeah, you, so fucking, you got damn right.
I'm fucking Bob Kelly.
Yeah.
Lock the fucking, this was before Rogan.
Yeah, a lot of the fucking.
Yeah.
Yeah, he didn't.
I literally was wishing a happy birthday.
Oh, you know what it is?
It just tagged me.
Can I just talk to you?
You don't, uh. What's up? You don't throw the, the rag around as much. Literally was wishing a happy boy. Oh, you know what? I mean just tagged me. Can I just
What's up? You don't throw the the rag around as much. That's why people are on the phone if you would have thrown the rag in Twice I'm gonna put a bar bearing in this fucking
I'm gonna fucking throw you it's gonna be the phone rag fuck. Oh you fucking how many people get on there from Bonnie you
I didn't get on my phone because you're a man. That was that was
That's why you're an old school fucking man. Don't yell at me. I don't want to get in the car seat. And you know how many followers is him.
That's true. No, I had to call an Uber. Shut up. You don't have to call an Uber. I did. I did. I
don't listen. Stop talking to me like I don't know how Uber works. You can call an Uber. I take three seconds. Yeah. It's coming.
I buddy. What do you got? What do you got? I to go to go to what do you got I have to go to oh plugs?
Just the initials dot com or YouTube slash the initials. Yeah, you can check out the crowd work special on safe comedy. There is no ramps
Yeah, if you have a wheelchair can't come
No elevators, but yeah, just just check out YouTube check me out on YouTube.
If you like stuff, then there's a bunch of it there.
If not, then that's cool too.
Buddy, stop being humble.
I love you.
I love you.
Great stuff.
He's great.
Man, you got to check out Aaron's 25 spots.
25 sets.
I just heard about this.
It's fucking great.
I got to check this out.
You had to fucking really step on Steve Burns's neck.
Didn't you?
Oh, you crushed.
What do you do?
13.
Yeah. 13. Yeah. Yeah, but there's only 13 clubs. I love to see a white guy out working Asian
Favorite part of it take that China
I can hate you definitely no we get along great
The next guy that takes the thing will be it's it was a big thing Nobody's doing fucking 27th
Shots
And half of those rooms you can't count yeah with five of them you can see a lot of Baba take care of your shells
Shulti to have a go on what do you what else you got?
Do you have a go what what do you what else you got? Bob I have seven dresses 25 sets is the big thing it comes out next Tuesday
We're having a premier party at the stand next Monday if you want to get it
Please buy it on pre sales on iTunes right now. How much is it 1299 on iTunes? Okay, and
And if not then it comes out on Amazon Prime on Tuesday, but show the Amazon Prime
Comedy dynamics did they got money get your money
No, I didn't get my money yet. I got to get my presale numbers up
That's absolutely the goal the distribution is gone. Go buy it. Go fucking buy it
Tunes will help if you get if I sell a hundred more than we're talking we're in business all right good
Let's get a hundred of those why key WD fans go get those for the holiday get it it for a friend, get it for a girlfriend or a boyfriend
buy this
25 sets
Right, all right. What else that's it?
I'll be in Toronto at Yelkijaks the
16th of the 19th of this month that I will be in Texas
Secret group Houston November 14th and I'll be in San Antonio November 15th and 16th in hot water live at jokes is 22 Chris
What do you got? I hate that pause at not that Chinese I hate the fucking two-second pause
I hate it. I'm gonna give you a hand gesture from now on
Now what is it again? I'm sorry stepped all over it. That's right. Not that Chinese C.H.E.
Any why and all social media and not that chini ch e any why on all social media not that chini.com They need any design work or anything done this guy is a fucking rock star
back
Remember to be happy. Yeah, the Tuesday number and I'm at human places these three on Instagram
You got to check her out and if you have any any merch needs you as a unbelievable
I wear all the shirts all the time that we have we have hoodies
I have the hoodie with me tonight if you want to check it out. I wear all the shirts all the time that we have. We have hoodies.
I have the hoodie with me tonight.
If you wanna check it out, I don't know where it is.
Can you get it?
Oh, fuck.
This one right here.
My one of my favorite hoodies.
Oh, that looks comfy.
Oh, it's so comfy, dude.
It's so comfy.
You know what, dude?
We have the logo.
We have the dude.
Everybody loves the dude with the glasses.
Yeah.
I gotta get two of those, man. that and we are the dudes if you're a dude and you're we are the dudes if I see you were on these shirts
At my shows get the fuck up. I want to talk to you. I want to take pictures with you and and put them on the website you guys are the best
What do you got Mike?
At Mike of Brucey on all social media and I got a podcast called a little time You can listen to everywhere. I hate how much hair you have on your knuckles
Which I shaved the bottom ones the other day
You need to take care of this the one neat closest to me. Yeah, I gotta take care of what if I grew just the hair out really long
Here's a problem. Yeah, I wouldn't mind it if you didn't have such dainty
Victorian rings on
You know what I mean you have like fucking little like
Little Victorian man like you have a sword. I would love to and like a like a weak company. I
Don't I don't like it. Just shave it
Just the one
You may want to get it waxed rather than shave it because it may grow back even thicker in order
Yeah, but then it that's like a whole process
Because then you don't have to shave the whole fucking thing. Oh, yeah, just a knuckle. That's how they get you
The knuckle are so much like you go in the whole arm. Yeah, yeah, just get the knuckle over here
I like them the knuckle without a ring keep the hair
But once what rings shave the knuckle or shave the hair around the knuckle and just shave a stripe
Yeah, cuz it looks like something's growing from under the ring. There is a tear. Yeah, I don't like you Now what do you got Mike? I'm kidding me. You keep the knuckles. just shave a straight yeah because it looks like something's growing from under the ring there is a tear yeah I don't like it
no what do you got Mike I'm kidding me you keep the knuckles I'm gonna give you
shit oh I'm at my cabrucci and yeah my podcast a little time and you can
listen to that whatever it already said that you know like more fun of his
yeah hair again what are you taking his side you my side no it is what
side you want I can see it's pretty fucking disturbing. Mike, what are you going to be
Besides a shitty disposition?
Not kidding, but also you can follow Bobby at Robert Kelly live on Instagram. No longer shadow band.
Well, the podcast that I follow me on Instagram. Listen fuckers. Go to patreon.com. Look at me as a camera on me, Jess me, Zachary, go to patreon.com if you're fan of the podcast,
become a member, five bucks. Just go. It's five bucks a month. We just put the Billy
Burr extra little clip up there. When he caught me jerking off, we got Mike Calthag going
up. We got a bunch of shit happening. I'm doing some one on ones and the new we're getting. I'm trying
to get Gary gomen for the life of the shed next week. So hopefully that can happen. We've
got another life from the shed going up. We've got a bunch of stuff, but you're also supporting
the show. Five bucks a month. There you go. Get up there. Become a member of your fan of this
podcast patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. And creeps for kids starts the 18th.
I'm so excited about this man creeps for kids.com me, Voss, Bennington,
Florentine, great show. Yeah, we are going to be touring the fucking east side of
this country up and down. We're adding we just added three more shows down south. We'll be revealing next week
So check it out
Eastern Pyeongchia vans you statin island red bag Boston mass huntington Pittsburgh redding
Beautiful what what a great tour of the timing of what a great tour look at that
what a great tour of the timing of what a great tour look at that ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So check it out. Make sure you go there right now. And if you're watching live live, you're going to be in Hartford.
Hartford Friday and Saturday, two shows, two shows.
What do you want to go? And I just put New Year's Eve in Pittsburgh.
No, not Pittsburgh, Philadelphia.
I'll be in Philly at the punchline on New Year's Eve.
So get your fucking tickets now. Philly, get them.
They're going to go. There's other comics on the show. I want my fans there. Monday night and
New Year's Eve. I want you guys to pack this fucking place out. Philly.
What else we got? Mike follow me on Instagram at Mike Vs. War as I have a podcast called Yikes, Yikes, Baby, Meets and a Hon and Catherine Henson. Yeah, that's it.
Zach, Zach, then you go see you next week. Y-ah, que es eso. ¿Zack? ¿Zack, te den?
Sí, ¿no? ¿Qué quieres?
¿Qué quieres?
Quiero que cierre los ojos un segundo.
¿Puedo abrir los ya?
¿Sí? ¿Dónde estamos?
Estamos en mi pueblo.
¿Y si estáis tu pueblo?
Sí.
Pero si es un pueblo, si tu precioso y tu decías que era muy feo.
Bueno, ahora es bonito.
¿Y cuando dejo de ser un pueblo, feo?
¿Cuándo pensé que podía ser bonito?
Sí, hombre. ¿Qué tú piensas que tu pueblo puede ser bonito?
¿Y ocurre?
Este viernes, uno de diciembre, Euromilloneséo? Cuando pensé que podía ser bonito. Sí, hombre, ¿qué tú piensas que tu pueblo puede ser bonito?
¿Y ocurre?
Este viernes, uno de diciembre,
Euro millones sorté un superbote especial de 200 millones de euros.
Euro millones.
No hay nada más grande.
Lo querías de recuerda que juegas con responsabilidad
y solos y desmayordedad.