Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - The Regz ep #05 | Tiny Sips | The Regz w/ Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, Luis J. Gomez and Joe List feat. Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: December 7, 2023

Robert Kelly, Luis J. Gomez, Joe List, and Dan Soder join forces and talk about getting a Rolex from Louis C.K, Luis's worst NYC apartment experience, the most scared Bobby has ever been as a father, Ari Shaffir comes by to visit and so much more. Presented by YKWD and GaS Digital. LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... SOCIALS Robert Kelly @ykwdpodcast https://robertkellylive.com/   / robertkellylive   Luis J. Gomez https://luisofskanks.com/   / gomezcomedy     / luisjgomez   Joe List   / joelistcomedy     / joelistcomedy   Dan Soder https://www.dansoder.com/   / dansoder   Ari Shaffir https://www.arishaffir.com/   / arishaffir   SPONSORS Sheath Underwear https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ promo code: Regz for 20% off My Bookie https://mybookie.website/TheRegz promo code: REGZ for up to $200 cash bonus Factor Meals factormeals.com/regz50 promo code: regz50 to get 50% off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to the gas to chill man Let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go I TAKE MEN LESCELLA SCELLA SCELLA SCELLA SCELLA SCELLA SCELLA SHUT THE FUCK DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO the pieces shit. It's the red. It's only launched. It's the regs. Dance soda. Hi, I take a little bit more. I take tiny sips of water. Joe list. AK of the truth. Louis J. Goam as you guys asking me if I want oatmeal in the future. It's that open because of choice. It's such a fun. All milk is a choice when you when you. Did you wait, did you get it in your mad? You got it? Not mad. God damn damn it you pissed me off. I need a tiny sip of water.

I'm good. Are you okay? That's a damn deal. Oh God I could fucking kill both you it's so late at night Just in the right punchlines. I'm gonna tell you right now. He's writing word play Yeah, he's doing order so So I'm gonna be honest. Yeah. I do this with voice work. So we're all doing this in this late night show. Yeah. We usually do this earlier. Well, we, this shows you how dumb we're like wait a minute when it's about to say So today's the only day

Yeah, but we all do 17 other podcasts I know now I don't I walked away from everything. What do you have soda? That's odor, but you gotta do it so fucking pretentious So it's not this shot in black and white you You black and white you. Haha. You have a lot of that goes to monetization right and fucking 10 minutes in. Hey, who's actually it is. We shoot black and white. We budfuck on the couch. It's a casting cast.

So jokes on you. I'm going to be getting your welcome to soda. Welcome. I go. It's just a 30 minute colon commercial. Yeah. Voice. It's weird because he gives you soda

He gives your soda when you do the show. Yeah, you have to drink soda drink soda That's bonkers No, dude, you need an angle, Dan. I don't need an angle He just Dan soda on his couch being Dan fuck off Dan. Sorry. So do new new new type of soda every time And the new new new new time episode every time Oh, dude, I talked to guests What is in their best zone and the first thing they talk about is their favorite soda and why it takes off and then I have fucking mountain Do you teeth like a year? Like guys may call him the mountain dude when he comes in And then when you come out everyone gets into the show and then when you come out on stage everyone goes crazy

It's a soda pop Like that. Did you write that the bathroom when you just write up top of my head just like that? They shake the soda and they spray you at the end of your show. I know. Guys, can we be real? It means South and Swedish. So I'd appreciate it. Yeah, because you're going to be your careers going.

Oh, whoa. That's whoa. Too much. That's great. You know, I'm doing heroin. So what? Black Tard heroin. So Lewis. Lewis Lewis says he got David. What did you say? Well,

you say about the relic? You were giving me a compliment on my watch. I love you. And then I look at your watch. You got a Rolex. And it's like, I want a Rolex. And then I said out loud, that might be fake. Bobby wanted us to go by the the fake watch place on the way out of the bomb fire. This is real. This is a bad box in paper. You were going to go to the fight. You're going to get a fake or like I wanted to show him watching. Which by the way, nobody would even know if you had a fake or like no, you can tell

you know, motherfuckers online know one way to tell us that I was setting a hand keeps moving continuously. There is. What? Most watches the second hand ticks. Yeah. A Rolex never had moved smoothly, but also put it up to the camera so that people online because someone online will be able to tell if that's really no Not from that now from this far away on the inside watch I watch breakdowns of like where they have like actual like professional watch

Analysts trying to tell the difference between Rollie trying to get away with On the inside of every Rolex is Rolex laser engraved on the inside all around the inside bezel. Right here. Yeah. That'd be fun if you just threw it out the window. I hate your magic and I love it.

I hate it and I love it. Oh, it angers and exhilarates me. The fact that you'll never know where it is. Natalie, open your pussy. Just shake that out. Just slide that over on the table. It comes out at the time. Oh my God.

It stops working. Joe, are you ever going to get in the fancy watches? I have a Rolex. It's in a closet. Can I say you know, you're in the game. It's a gay. Tell me. You're in the watch. Yeah.

Dad, dad, dad, dad. Hey, what he's telling. Yeah, dad. Hey, he got a Rolex from touring with Louis. Yeah. Did Louis give you a Rolex? I did not give you a Rolex. He did. He came over. He came over his assistant came over and gave me a Rolex like a $10,000 Rolex and it's

engraved. But I have little risk and I have no, you have thick risk. Cut down. I don't. I compare to mine. Dude, dog, we both have tiny wrists. Get off me, Bobby. Stop. Stop touching me.

What's happened? Wait, look, touching me. So that's, I'll just do it on this, right? Yours is twice as big as mine. No, so see that. Yes. That's it. Now look at mine, ready?

Say. Yeah, you're sweet, dude. No. Look at our fucking wrist. You're trying to play him a wrist is the same size. Yeah, this isn't same. Yeah, his wrist and his bicep are the same size. We can measure this. Get a tape. You know I have muscle- you do you go fucking weird mummy arms. Fuck you. Fuck you.

Sounds like a cry. You're fucking yeah, take a little sip you got mummy arms and dummy brains Jacob give me I mean Ow Lewis give me my watch back to something in it you do let's go on My watch I got Ralph cranberry I got new I got news for you. I guess we'll get serious soon Bite it Leg beat it. Beat it. I'm under his leg. What do you do? Oh, there it is. Damn dude.

Do a watch. He did do a wielding watch. Lewis is pretty bad ass. I tried to do Lewis's magic with his assault and pepper check and nap contrick that he does. Yeah. And I hurt my hand. Wait, wow. Because I forgot to take the salt off.

I'm going to win for us. And I just hit it. You know, fit on you. Does it? We have the same sense of wrist too. I'd say down. It's like, I feel like I'm being gassed. This is like the craziest thing we're- Why do you think you have a bigger risk than-

No, I think I have a smaller by like half. No, we have the same size risk. He has a very smaller risk. That's like crazy. Yeah, he has a little girl risk. You're also doing like fifth grade tricks where you're like, look at it, it's this to here. And then you're squeezing it.

That's like, oh, James. this to here. And then you're squeezing it. You're on your own. That's science. It's like OJ. That was the thing. What was that? You know, a normal Donald Jogger just saw was when they were talking about the cap and he shows the cap and normal Donald goes, and then OJ Simpson went, whoa, whoa, whoa,

be careful with that. That's my lucky stabbing cap. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. No, no, no, it. So you think a fan should give you, wow. The fuck. No, I said at this point, I've been talking about Rolexes for so long that you think a fan would have given me one already. That is, and I said before the show, in that exact moment, it showed me that you have pirate brain that you just go,

I like that. Give it to me. Show your loyalty. I'm just saying, Bobby, you got like fucking five Rolex dude every time you're not I enjoy them and I think I've dropped enough hints You could just be like hey keep that dude. Let me see yeah, but that one's not it doesn't look good on you Do you ever worry your son's gonna grow up and have a drugs problem and hockey Rolex? No, okay Guys want to check in with I got I hooked up with my my person in Florida. You're all said they had your watch right? It'll go no, they didn't yeah Yeah, they do. They got it. You can also get a roll like here. Don't want to fucking hear about roll.

You should buy you should buy Joe's. He'll sell it to you 12th grand. No, wait, I had to reassess 15. No, why not? And grieved. Yeah, fucking it says to Joe list. Yeah, but from love, Louie. Yeah, pretty cool. Grievous. It says to Joe, thanks for watching. Really? It's funny.

It's a pun. Well, I met like a masturbation. Yeah, like you watched him jerk off. Joe, because it's a pun also. I enjoyed it, even though I didn't show it on my face. But he doesn't, he didn't do that. Yeah, we got it. His assistant's gonna show back up.

But you, Louie wants to watch back. Yeah. What kind of watch? He told you he'd never tell anybody it was a gold. It's gold. It's gold. Is that good? Do you actually have it appraise? How do you know it's $10,000? I don't know. I'm guessing. It's a gold. It's a gold. It's a gold. It's a gold. Probably more gold. Gold. If it's all gold, God, I hope Louis gave you a fake watch. No, he gave everybody the He's the best comedian of all time.

He did. I was on tour with him the right after that. He gave everybody a- What is this? People buying Rolexes. Everybody on the tour. I'm not sagging a little pot belly. Everybody on the tour.

I'm rolling. It's a special. That's good. I bet. What is yours engraved with? I didn't get one. Really? No, his, the one before me, I got Rolexes. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy.

I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to before. Yeah, the Trump four times. That's before the Trump.

That was back in the day when they had a lot of freedom, a lot, a lot of, a lot of doors. That, that, that fucking spirit as she saw some things. Flight attendant. What are you doing? Come on, damn it. Throw up. You sexist, bro.

Throw up. It's time. Have you ever been on a private jet? Yeah, dude. Who would you go with? Fucking jet Lee Did you Who is Jack is Jackie and life oh wow It's my I can't improvise so I had so funny. I don't I don't know if you ever associate if you ever commit a crime

You're like a real if your girlfriend goes missing and then they interview Lewis and he goes where were you? You're like I was at a restaurant called bitch Shit I killed there. I killed it with a knife. Bitch. Shit. Shit. I killed her. I killed her with a knife. I killed her. I put her in an oil barrel and a ditch. Damn it.

Why am I so bad at him, bro? You say? You better put it, yes. Well, who? Jet Lee. Jet Lee. Give me funny if Jet Lee goes, actually, I deflaunt him with all the engines.

He and Michael Fray. Lewis was, we were going to do a ripoff of rush hour Doin' a pretty goddamn good jet lead coming in your with this shit Natalie's push these very racist and that's very racist. Oh I am an adoree of pushy. Is that her pussy? Yeah, I'm not all I pussy goes like this. Why you put a watch? I don't understand why you I do you do a watch Natalie's pussy down Natalie's pussy. I did not know you were from Ghana. Our pussy makes masks Are you working on your Brian Doyle Murray?

Who's that? Bill Murray's brother. Bill Murray's all the brother. Oh, that's a change our heart. It's getting there. I changed my mind. I changed my mind He was maybe in sick it. Rit sounds very nickel. So you're sick. You're sick. I called I have a baby sick last week It's a high- I'd COVID though then this is just like a you had COVID. I did your fucking podcast. You almost took me out. Yeah, you made it. No, dance on how he got sick. He's just done.

He's like head cold. No, I had called further wind. Hatched my giant head. Come on, man. I got a baby at home. Come on, man. What do you think your babies never get sick? Joe.

Yeah, dude, this is a baby. You're not sexy. He's got no shots. He could fucking. Well, you know, you're gonna kiss his baby. Yeah, dude, this is a baby. He's got no shots. He could fucking, we're not making him. Joe, she got kisses, baby. You should go make out with his baby.

Doug, you had COVID hospital. It's gonna make him tougher. That's true. Joe's baby was born. You had COVID when your baby was born. Has no cells to keep himself healthy. I had COVID the day he was born. Just baby translucent.

Joe's back. It's the Joe those fish. She is. Are jelly, are jelly, baby? Can't be around any bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a

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I will try not to breathe on you. Thank you. No, dude. You literally go get your baby sick. Yeah, rub rub dirt in your baby. What kind of fucking what? They become that become tougher. Well, you just turned into a ragged guy. Bit of a long gun. Yeah, you tick in your baby. What kind of fucking what they become they become tougher? Well, you just turn into a ragged guy a bit of

Angada. Yeah, yeah, take the baby. Throw it in the river. They become They make it sick. They make what do we do one episode of voices? No, dude. That's my bread and butter Can you be one episode without being violent? Yeah I can't there you go. Can this one not do a pun a whole episode? Bobby just heard bread and butter and he started to pass out There you go. Can this one not do a pun in a whole episode? Bobby just heard Bren and Butter and he started to pass out. Lewis does considerably more puns than I did. You do.

First of all, that bread you don't like with the fantastic. It was great. And I'm also gonna say you're more quippy than punny. Yeah. That's right. Comedy. Yeah, you're a quippy guy. I wish you would get a quip tooth brush and clean your teeth. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I got a jelly baby at home. You should clean your skin dog.

Whoa. It's darker than ours. What? What? What? What? What? Jesus Christ.

What's the matter? Don't chant that. I'm talking about laundry. Well, we saw what's your side or on. So, how's your skeleton? Good luck. Yeah, I'm on the good side. Wow.

Yeah. Would you move to Brooklyn? You fucking queer. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Anyways, that was one good episode guys. See you guys. I would love that. We could wrap up. I would be proud.

If we get it, we did a five minute, 15 minute podcast. 15 minute podcast and drop the regular regular like a Mike Fini special. I did. Broken in these guys, they do fucking four or five hours. They're on party. They have to run to Stosterone. Yeah, it is a half a billion dollars in the bank. Yeah, you're right.

I'll do 17 hours. Joe Rogan's got that fucking, uh, he's got that squid game ball in the middle. It's a drop. It wasn't always a half a billion dollars, guys. It's so rough somewhere. You guys are very, very small minded. We're getting a Lewis speech 15 minutes into the episode. Yeah, Gary Vee.

What are you going to tell us the hustle more? Gary Veter. He's like, he's like business, to businesses hard, and you gotta work hard. Why is my own camera what's going on? How come you haven't got that money? Of course you haven't. Yeah we gotta lose it. And nobody, Joe is just, he's making jokes and you somehow not having under bite, it's

bugging me. I mean, the I.X. I mean, Christ, all fucking mind man, what do you feed your fucking, you like a facts machine? Christ, that sucks. You find these fucking water. That's fun, but I think we were all in awe. We were like, wow, that's really good.

No, you're hot tonight. Give me that fucking thing. Joe has terrible posture. What the, what the, we make it clear that there's two Joe. I see Papa Joe. This is King Joe. This is, you're not Joe.

That's autistic Joe. Is it? Are you autistic? All three of them are. 36 times 30. They're all one guy. I think Natalie is too. Yeah.

Dude, if they all just morphed into one fucking... They do like station... Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what they would look like? They look like a giant version of Joe's baby. They just make Mike Suarez. Which one is Natalie? Natalie's the girl with the vagina.

The girl. Yeah, you can hear it. I have not seen any evidence of this of a vagina. Let's see. Open her legs and you'll hear it. I watched you shot out of it. She's a non-binary. Whoa.

What the fuck is that? It's a book. Back to our side. Yeah. She's getting a binding. She's getting a binding. She's a binding. She's getting a binding. He's a binding. He's unbound, as they say.

It's a bug. Jill, I want to tell you right now that you're a hero for being here. Thank you. And I'm not easy. This is my past my bedtime, right? I mean, I would touch you or else I'd get you sick. I appreciate you staying away from me forever.

I'm sure a little happy that you got out of the house to get the hang of what your friends a little bit. Well, I've been getting out of the house. for me forever. I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm in bed every night by 10 30 every night That's a lie. Okay. I swear to God I am you You go to the guy with you in your day and you're talking about watching a movie when you get home No, because I'll wait. I'm gonna. You like the rock you you lie the rocks as you wake up And he does it Mark will look like I'm gonna make up that early I'll text my girlfriend right now. I'm gonna say what time would you say I'm in bed every night? I'm going to text her and we'll see what she says. That's it.

It's crazy. You're full of shit. Okay. You literally we're in the car. He's like, babe, let's watch a horror movie when I get home at one. I have to back to bed every night. Is this a phone call? Yeah, are you talking text and talk?

Why do you say that? You just got old in front of our face. I don't- I mean, why text? What do you- What do you- Yeah, what do you my mom on the couch? This is Lewis on his phone. It's flashlights on and he's like,

Ha-ha-ha-ha. So, we'll be there on Wednesday. My mom talks to text, talk to tech Jesus by so can't talk. Wait, it's late. It's 10.30. She doesn't warn me. So my mom will just be sitting on the couch and she'll be like,

That sounds lovely You what he possessed bitch. That's a great big I'm gonna do that as a bit. I'm going to that's awesome a race this from the podcast Why nobody's gonna steal it and we do it. It comes out in three hours We actually have to go back time to put this one out yesterday. That'd be fun How you like being a dad dude? That's wonderful. I'm so you do you one out yesterday. That'd be fun. Yeah. How are you like being a dad, dude? That's wonderful. See, do you love it?

Yeah, it's fun. It's nice. Let's talk about that. More talk about do you think your kids are going to be into tits or ass? So, I'm more of a tits guy. I didn't get, I don't get ass. It's where the toilet seat goes. There's a but hold there.

I mean, I like that. I love it. I love it. Sweet ass. Oh my God. I like you. I like you. I love it. Sweet ass. Oh my God. I like eating it. Fucking ass. Listen, I love both, but a great asses are great ass. That's the spider.

We're doing well. We're both doing Al Pacino, right? Yeah, of course. You just got a great. Great. I can't do it. Wow. What was I gonna do?

I can do it. Yeah. She's got a great ass. There it is. One take, Bobby. That was good. There's not bad. Cheat blue That's actually that's actually that's actually way better. That was actually really good. Yeah, surprising Wait, well this is exhaust. I would love to eat more tassol more than tits than that Natalie when you eat when you eat a woman's vagina because Natalie goes both ways by the way shout out and then dude when you eat a woman's vagina, because Natalie goes both ways, by the way. Shout out.

And then dude, when you eat a woman's vagina, little surf and turf. Yeah. Yeah, Christa McNickel, when you eat Vanche. Yeah. That's great. She looks exactly like Christa McNickel. Yeah.

She was a hot chick in the 80s. Yeah. Do you go, we take a dip in the chocolate river, if you know what I mean? Suck butt. Why doesn't have a shitting it? A lot of law. Yeah. Can we just have a regular clean. I don't know.

I don't know. Why do some tires have mud on them? Both of them went off road and you don't have to go. My girl. My girl got back from hot yoga the other day and I fucking just peeled her fucking wet. Like a fruit roll up. Yeah, I peeled her wet fucking clothes off and I ate it. You'll grow up. Yeah, it's me. You'll grow up and then my wife's flat ass. It's two different things. Wait, and she just came home and you're like let me eat but yeah, and then you did I did I ate her fucking Sweaty's it was it metallic

I was delight like pennies. It's like a a square battery like a fist full of change but hold but whole wow Got it Wow, you're licking. Louis, it's got to have touched it. I'll go in. What? You'll suck inside the asshole. Why did you not finish the sentence? I'll try and Chris for walking, dude.

In her asshole. And then I saw a Rolex, a fan left. You guys are uncomfortable piece of metal. You don't need to ask us. I ate it and it tasted like mustard and a pretzel. You were melting down there for a second. And then I fell apart apart. So we're gonna have to jumpstart you there for a quick Bobie, you don't need us. I do eat ass, but I have to have passion He's from generation X like I can't eat ass like my wife. I know my wife

But if I don't know her Bobie was oh like it Bobby was old enough during the AIDS scare that he doesn't eat But I ate fucking AIDS ass you out of your mind? Did you really? I made all the ass in pussy now is clean because of guys like me. Oh, thank you. Looking it off. So saluting it. I don't think that's how it works.

That is. I licked all the AIDS and fucking herps off the pussies in the 80s and 90s. You licked herps? I licked it off. I think our boy will tell us that's not a good one. He is immune system sucks. Look at his kid. It's true, by the way.

What? I don't have herpes and I think it's just because I'm a strong kid. It's true, by the way. What? I don't know for her piece, and I think it's just because I'm a strong man. What's up? You're a dork or what? You're a fucking beta and her piece to go over your body. No, because you fuck less than you pretend. Oh, you're mine.

Wow, I'm in my mind. Do you think Lewis is like the girl from American Beauty? How many girls are you fucking right now? We're just locked about all of his sex. Yeah, Lewis fucks one girl at a time. What do you do? What did you do? Side, side, side, game.

What did you do? You're not the one. Side, side, side, cheese. You call that side gamble. I have another lady that's nice to me. Yeah, dude, I got side gamble. Dude, I got plenty of side, cheese, dude. You got enough.

I got some, you know. You've been with three girls your whole life. No, it's incorrect. How many girls you've been with? How many girls you've been with three girls your whole life. No, it's incorrect. How many girls, how many girls you've been with? 40. You've, I will bet good money. No, no, one girl, she lives in apartment 4D. 4D, I got it.

I was good. Lewis, Bobby, man's a little bit of a cox myth. Who Joe? I had sports and herpes at the same time, dog. Yeah, yeah. I thought you fuck ugly fatpes at the same time. Yeah. Yeah. You fuck ugly fat chicks from the hamper. Yeah, nasty.

You can get that from fucking one nasty pig. Yeah. I fucked a lot of women, 40. And I've been in relationships about 17 years that I've been alive. And I didn't start fucking until I was 28. So that's a lot. Wait, you didn't have sex until you're 28. No, look at that face.

Yo, it's a goof. I was like, I knew you at 20. Yeah. And you know, remember I showed my dick to that one girl in the walk home and she was hot. Joe, Joe's got a nice piece. I've seen it a lot. I've seen Joe, Joe came out of my hotel and went, Montreal, correct. Every time Joe calls me and faced half a rack, he or half a rack.

He was in the shower for a long time. He was trying to get it hard. And then he comes out and he goes, he goes, it's too hard to get your dick hard to be funny. It was half mass for BLM. Yeah. Every time he calls me on FaceTime, his dick is out. And then he slowly pans down to his nice fucking right. Yeah, it's a good bit.

Yeah, well, it's Deroza's bit first. So it's kind of a bit. You stole it? And it's everyone's bit. What are you talking about? I've never done it. I don't think Deroza, if you have a little fucking sad pointer dick. I have a nice cock.

No, you don't. What are you talking about? It's never seen it. Let me see it. It's a grow. You got a picture of it. No, I'll get one for you. You want one?

I love one. I'll show you one next time. I'll show you my cock on a photo. I got a picture of my cock. And then yeah, I got a picture. Hi, everyone. Senior penis. You're in your multicolored face.

Yeah, you're fucking Italian chocolate tort dick Once I'm Lewis show me a very funny video. He got stys removed from his eye Oh, and he and it was there's a surgery and after he got surgery He's getting his dick sucked and he filmed it and the girls blowing him and I'm like Lewis Why are you sure you do this and then he slowly pans up and he's got sunglasses on and blood running back From the surgery. Blood coming from under the sun. And he's getting his dick. So it was a very funny video.

Shout out to Karen. Fear. I don't want to get a say. What's your caravan? No, I wasn't going to say nothing. I kept it fucking generic, dude. Wow. He's a little mink. She's hot.

All right, gents. Let's take a quick moment and thank my bookie for supporting today's show. I'll tell you right now, if you guys like the gamble and you probably probably do who doesn't like to fucking get a little action in on a game I get nervous. What are you nervous about? I don't know losing money. Losing money. But I do like my bookie because it's actually makes it easy. They make it so easy. The interface is great and also they give you free cash to play with whether it's NFL college ball or whatever you like. I like to gamble on MMA. My bookie has got you covered. They also have a brand new cashout system

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You got to pitch you a dick. Oh, sorry dude. Now I don't have to put your my dick alone Just wait just with people. Yeah, like family photo. Yeah, I guess a picture your dick alone is kind of weird, right? I just haven't have it. I've been had to take a dick pic for like my girl in a long time. We were a long distance for a while But even then it was never like here's a dick pic long distance. It would This guy says he doesn't do puns. No, I don't do puns. I say he does puns more. Keep it tally starting now You know the pun king Lewis whoop. No, there's a lot of people on show. We had a lot of good comics that do a lot of them in their act. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, you don't do them for real on stage.

You know the great puns. Who does puns in their act? People. Pitbull. Pitbull. Pitbull. Pitbull. We're all tired.

That's pretty good. That is good. This is stupid doing this. This is late. It is. We all have five. It is bro. We can laugh. We're fine. We all have the seven podcasts today. A bunch of f**ks.

Well, that's what the name is show. Put them down for one. That's not a pun. That's a fact. No, he's doing a pun on our name of the show. Fact check. That's fine. Pun it up.

That's good. Put one on the board below it. Is there a pun board? I'm a a pun board? I'm a little pun board. Excuse me. What was that? Jesus Christ. So we got the show's doing well.

What show? This one. People are digging it. Well, like this episode, because those are gonna say, you can't just rip it off. That's what's fucking killing it. You know what I mean?

Good show. Like a silly episode. People like us being silly, doing what we're being silly right now. Peace, silly pants, silly pants. I don't feel that silly boy be real silly boy we're really silly boys oh silly we're at the silly hour yeah these dickheads are giggling over there if the retards and the booth are giggling away I think we're good god I hope they just keep saving bad clips of you to ruin you when I'm called it they can't they can't ruin me dude because I've never said any of that it's all AI

They can't they can't ruin me, dude, because I've never said any of that. It's all AI. True. That's the dude. Also, when they when they show our children, the video of me blowing you AI, AI, yeah, gay, I, well, come back. We do real. I'm gay. That's why I think my was. We made my dick bigger if it's going to be a. I, yeah, that's true. No, you're not. You're going to be seeing the point. AI would be realistic. What am I missing the point? We're saying.

I don't wish. I've always been in me because it turns me on. I fuck God, I don't have the chair on. Do you have you used AI for anything, Dan? No, I won't. You'll use chat GPT. No. What is it? Chat GPT.

It's computer speak. I hear like, hey, do you have your chat GPT? I used it to write the principle of max's school a letter really Yeah, came up fucking where your prompts. What did you tell it? The name maxes son max has a son maxes father I typed in some more repolvate shit. I said type in I typed in the sit the situation shit. Well, it's like that. I tapped in the situation. You know, concerned. He wrote it as the situation from the Jersey Shore. Check out the, you'll forget about Jim Tane

laundry. That's just a good kid. Wait till that beat drops. It came out. It was unbelievable. Really? I mean, the principal went, I checked this. This was chat with GBT. Well, he's a lot of words I would never even, I don't know how to spell never mind use. I mean, the principal with I check this. This was chat be G. Well, he's a lot of words I would never even under a spell never mind use. But I, I just replace a few things. Chat G. B. D. Make this more racist. I always does my second prompt every time. It doesn't, it doesn't do anything. It won't do racist. Anything, it won't have bad tone.

Bad tone. Yeah, you can't have fucked up. You can't have like angry. You can't be angry at somebody. A fuck with somebody. There's no, you can't have like angry, you can't be angry at somebody, a fuck with somebody, there's only you do that. There is an unlock code on the, I believe I heard this couldn't not be true. Well, you could unlock it, world B, say whatever you want. I'm sure there's versions of it that are racist. Yeah. You said that like you're going to find it. No, yeah, I mean, look, sometimes you wanted to be racist. Why? Well, I would you want it to be racist? It was funny. I mean, that's really it. to be racist. Why? Why would you want it to be racist?

It was funny. I mean, that's really it. That's my problem. It's like, there was work runs for a little while. You could do things like back in the day. This is, it all comes back to us, prank phone calling. It still feels the same thing.

You give us any technology and you're like, can we be funny and racist? And what does it say? Microsoft shuts down AI chatbot after it turned into a Nazi. What? Whoa. I was controlling it. More. More. More Nazi. Whoa. I was controlling it.

More. More. More, racist. More. More. And now I am a Nazi computer. I'm not. Somehow more.

It shuts down. No. No, shit. There's one thing you can put, you know, the keyboards on your iPhone, you can change them Grammily or whatever. There's one that you can put on that I have on, that you can write something, it will AI it,

and then you can pick the tone, professional, happy. Sexy, racist. Yeah, no, you can't pick, right? Did I have a face? Keep it sexy. You can pick, not sexy, not horny. There's no horny. Dude, I had it right my girlfriend of poem about how she should be more willing to clean up around the house because I pay for everything.

All right. Can we hear it? What was the poem called? I didn't keep it. I just read it to her. Oh, please. Can you remember any of it? No, I can talk.

Do it again. You do right now. All right, let's see. Do it right now. I mean, I hate that we're doing chat GBT. Right. Right. No, you're right. It stinks. I'm just stomach Joe. What do you mean? I don't know. I like your belly. You want a fat shame? No, I didn't mean it. It's bad way. I said, I like your belly. All right. He's trying to grab your belly. So touch my belly. What the fuck was that block?

Oh touch my belly. Hey, talk about the fight. Have you talked about the fight anywhere? What fight? The fight you want, you fucking dumb dumb. How many hits did you take to the head? The fight. No, they don't like, the fans don't like me talking about the fight.

They hear, they hear about it too much. They complain like, oh, it's all as a fight talk all day. Every day. They complain about everything you do. Everybody, they always bet. Who cares? You know what? You know, I do.

I told my friends, I told them to take a tiny sip of water. So you won the fight. I won the fight. I wasn't there. I won. I knew you would win the fight. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Come on, dude. Was it a decision? Was it a knockout? It was a decision. And it was a unanimous decision. You couldn't finish the job. Uh,

I'm sorry. You're fighting another round. I'm sorry. I didn't know you had weak wrists. It's like old fucking listy over here. Oh, say, put it in the round. I didn't know you had weak wrists like old fucking listy over here. Oh, now they're weak. It's not going to go with wrist wins. He fucking jerk off old thin

list, old thin wrist list. Yeah. But, uh, oh, here's the poem. The youth is really great. Here we go. What is that? You can get more specific. You can be like from comedian Louis J. Gomez to my girlfriend's name.

Man, that poem sucks. I read three stanzas. You just wanted to share that you knew stanza. It has no I am a pentameter. What? Tony Stanza. Look at the big, what did you just fucking say? Mark that down.

Tony Stanza. Tony Stanza. What is that? Tony stands. Tony stands. Tony stands. What did you say? What was that word? Who's the boss? I am McVentameter. What the fuck is that? It's like tips. It's a rhyme scheme. Process. A non-poet wouldn't understand it. A simple mind like yourself. You mean a non-fucking queer? No, yeah, that's if that's what you have to do is equivalence masculinity with queer. Unfortunately, I'm intelligent. And you're just a simple brute.

You're not intelligent. You girl told you that that was. Oh, my. You also just use the word. I'm joined by passion. Do you use the word a word equivale? I will not have a battle of wits with an unarmed man. Yeah, that's good. He didn't. I wrote that. That was what's Churchill. No, I think that Gregs. And it's like Greg's dog.

Greg's dog. Greg got felt. Greg Gerardo. Greg Gerardo. Greg's dead. Yeah. What is Greg Gerardo, Jr.? Well, you bring in the fucking vibe down, dude.

We gotta bring the dead into this. No, well, you bring in the vibe down. Calm down, Santeria. Yeah. What's that? Song by Sublime. I don't like this. Santeria.

He said a song by fucking sublime. What is that? It's a song based on burning. You look fuck off. What's that? I just had a flat tie. Yeah.

I'm not my tires. I want to go home. All right, you go. First of all, that's then how I spell my fucking name. You fucking did. Dip shit. Gomes. Oh, go.

Go. What's up? Go. Oh, gomes. Gomes. What's up, gomes? What's up, gomes? Yeah, it's got. We already said we didn't want to read the poem. Gomez, not Gomez. From from gomes. Get in think we're doing.

Gomes, fat chat, GBT shit. This is my new podcast. Don't poms. It sucks and undies. There they lay. Read to me like a chaotic scene.

Read it to me. A disarray. My funny bone. It starts to ache. A disarray my funny bone. It starts to ache navigating through the mess you make. Whoa with human sharp. I spin a tail or dirty dishes a ship set sail. The socks unite and pairs no more. A laundry say.

God. Oh, what a tour. All right. Not bad. It's not bad. I mean, a fucking computer wrote that. That's not bad. What was that last line? Sure. A laundry. What? Say, God. There you go. He said, say, yeah, he said, say, oh, it was a gaming system. Yeah, say, God, the Japanese gaming system. Yeah. Oh, God, God. Why did you become a grammar police fucking queer? I just decided to do that. Yeah. Yeah, all go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go But a possessive noun is me losing to take your money out to the show Why did you put an ellipses

What is that for by the way what tiny sips? I know the tiny sips they do work. Tiny tips work. Sorry, dude. Any time you get angry. Moving fast. It's tiny. Tiny sips works.

Well, fast. That's crazy. Yeah, that's an angry man. That's an angry dude. That's an angry man. You know what I'm going to watch with Max? What? And one day porn. one day with fucking Larry list yeah Larry list

I've got that's his name short street double L dude double L. What am I supposed to watch short circuit? Oh, it's great. Oh my name is B And I spell it Ben. My name is Ben. I, be yeah. I love fucking Johnny. Johnny five still alive. Johnny five so I think the short circuit a little. I just started. Yeah, it was fucking. It's so good. I watched the whole thing with James again. Is that Wally?

Not Wally. It's Johnny five. It's Johnny five. It's Johnny five. Wally's like a rip off. But input, input, input. He's learning input. No disassemble.

Yeah, Wally's animated movie, and while he doesn't even talk to you, short circuit is a classic piece of cinema. Yeah, and it's a big puppet. Oh, is that right? No, it's a big ol' puppet. Yeah, dude, he's fucking. Like all of us, man.

Oh, man, dude, you got so deep. Man, you're fucking wild now. God, man, since you have a kid, you need to see what the world is, bro. Yeah, daddy, Joe,, man, you're deep. I got wisdom dogs. We do. I know I love us.

You have wisdom teeth. I don't know how you're mopping. I didn't know what love was. Can I have a napkin? Now I do. Dan, that sucks. You didn't know that. Sorry, I stepped on that moment.

Yeah, you're saying it again. Well, I'm just saying that only 75% of us now know what love is. Yeah, you guys have kids good for you. You're fucking heroes. How do you gonna get mad at us? Because we have the love. you guys have kids good for you. You're fucking here. How do you gonna get mad at us? Cause we have. You guys bring it up every episode. We understand love.

We love love. I love what do you love my fiancee my dog? You don't love your dog. You don't love your dog. You don't love love. And then also let me tell you something do you love a kid you put a fucking bullet in your fiance's head. Yeah.

Fucking boom. And how? I'll kick down right the fucking. Yeah, you guys all day. You guys all hate your women. You guys are so. We love our women kick down right the fucking fuck. You guys all hate you guys all hate your women. You guys are so I just love I win. I love all my women. I got six seven broads. That's all

side. What's the call? Side side. Side. Side. If I had if I had fucking your girlfriend and my son, yeah, I would do that over a fucking leg. If I had your girlfriend and

your son over a leg, I'd drop him both. I'm fired up. over a fucking leg. If I had your girlfriend and your son over a legit drop him up, is that a care of? You could want it. I'm sorry, I'm fired up, honey. I'm pulling both up. Nice. I took two big of a sip.

I'm sorry, Dion, I was coming at you. I was coming at you. Thanks. You felt better. You could only pull up for anybody. I go, Katie, where are we going to go with you? You're dog and Katie, which one do you kill? The dog, are you obviously crazy?

You know, the dog has nine lives. Yeah. And they land on their feet always. That's a cat. Yeah, Bobby. Wow. Yeah. I'm just, I'm here.

I, I, I, he really is the rogue in this podcast. Oh, right. Hey, you want to show us your bow and arrow, fuckers? I mean, Jesus. I don't like, I don't like that. Louis just read a fucking reddit line. Yeah. Bobby's the rogue. Yeah, fuck you. Go fuck yourself. Well, you guys gonna fight again. The red line. We all discuss it. You were the Rogan. I was the Ari. Yeah, we're all the shame. We are the war. We've said this

multiple times. We have as you wish. You insecure content. We're the wish. I guess you're not the Rogan because you're not secure. Yeah, I'm the actual. If you actually think about it, we are the inverse of everyone we say. We have beta, we have beta, Rogan. We have, we have a successful, our unsuggest, we have non-alcoholic shame, and we have non-punny Norman,

because you don't do punny. Not funny. I really don't. I have no self-esteem, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I love you, I love you, I love you. I thought you were going to parts. Not funny. I really don't have those self-esteem. I'm sorry. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I thought you were going to call me red band. I wasn't neat handshake. It was just like, thank you. Just middle fingers. Yeah. It was just, it was the tips of fingers. Yeah. Unlike finger tips.

Man, I keep, I believe, Louis didn't give you a present. No, it's not that he didn't give me a present. It's up to me a watch. He gave that tour was right after all the stuff. You went on that big tour. Everybody who was on it got a Rolex at the end of it. My tour that I went on, which was great. You he didn't. Was that after he was canceled? Yeah, everything was after it was all off to his cancel. It was after the after the times. Oh my god. What was he given away before he was canceled? Holy yeah. Watch his. He's giving away. He's got a six-year-old girl from Albania. I just don't get into it.

He knows. He got it. He met a producer at the Chris Rock show. They got into human trafficking. Well, they came to play. Louis handing out 15 and 16-year-old girls from Estonia. Louis. Well, because you fuck them, because they're orphans. That's not a good. Louis. That was a good one. Can I tell you something?

I was doing high with Sagalo in the green room, second each other's decks. I mean, without slowing down. Is that a show? High with Sagalo. No, I was just high with that. He featured for me this weekend. Oh, because you said you were doing

high with Sagalo. Oh, no, I was doing a thing. We were doing a bit where I was reading Charles Manson quotes as Dave Shepelle and it actually works pretty well. Can I hear it? Yeah, let me find it. We need like a new segment introduction Damn do it, shepelle From the world of darkness. I did lose demons and devils and the powers of scorpions the torment. Pain's not bad, it's good. It teaches you things. I understand that. This is Shepel doing Charles Manson. I've never been. Lewis is furious. Why? He's having a fun time. He just hates the bit.

No, he doesn't. You don't like the bit, dude. Louis, now, Louis's down on the bit. I loved it. You know what, dude? I mean, just say it's like a family guy, bitch. Just two random things to put together.

Don't you very well? Yes, fucking yeah, it works. Yeah, man, man, man. I loved it. Thanks, Bobby. I'm gonna call you later. Here's Macho, man. Singing, pour some sugar on me.

Go ahead. Pour, pour, pour. You know those are my crops. That's my chat, maybe, then, bro. I'm a guy who's not so man singing porcelain sugar on me. God You know those are my props. That's my chat. Maybe Some shitty do an old Indian singing Aussie I'm going off the rails on a craze which kind of Indian you need to be specific. I'm going American Indian. I for the rails. I am going off of on a crazy train. Do an American Indian singing Van Halen.

I don't know. Van Halen. What? What? Let me take a stab. My does well jump. Jump. Right now.

Here today going tomorrow. Oh, he picked the worst. Yeah, every time I hear that song, it just reminds me of Crystal Gravy. Crystal Clear Pepsi. Crystal Gravy. Here's an SNL. Crystal Gravy. Crystal Gravy.

They did that when Crystal Pepsi came out, SNL did Crystal Gravy. Crystal Gravy is one of my side pieces. There he is. Crystal Gravy's. I knew this should be hell bit. We'll get this back on track. Fuck me. That's a bit stunk.

We really did. We really did. It really made me realize how long we have, dude. It brought out all our superhero powers. It made me realize how high sagalow and I were in the green room thinking that was funny. It was funny. Don't let him bitch out of it. I was perfectly in between Bobby and Lewis on the bit.

Bobby loved it. Lewis hated it. And I was like, okay. Yeah, I don't know. I love your bitch. You know that. You do great bits. You know, I would say that's on the weaker end of what you do.

I appreciate that. Such a dick. I appreciate that. You're a fucking row at you. That was a good compliment. But it's a compliment. He's brilliant. He's one of the funniest people in the world. I appreciate that Rowie It's a compa he's brilliant. He's one of the funniest people in the world, but that was Complete Maybe deleted it

It really did really did make me feel like we do you like give a book report and you're bombing I Anyways book hands everyone's alright. I thought it was great I think there's my poster I made for the fucking stupid thing. I think you. Anyways, the book ends. Everyone's all right. I thought it was great. Here's my poster I made for the fucking stupid thing. I think you should do another one. Thanks, Steve. This is Lewis being nice.

Hey, Joe. I'm from Baby. Bobby, you look good. Hey, baby, I bring James over on Saturday. I'm pretty good fit. That's not a bad fit. Dude, you're definitely a work girl hard. Actually, raise your back. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Yeah, do Andre the giant doing Lewis Gomez quotes. I know what to pay for this toxic

You are the problem Skunk first sold out three I'm a real dude We're back, baby. Yeah. They were cooking. You got the right with my writing abilities. You're like comedic prowess. We could be the gun Joe. Yeah, do you really host a big dumb center, skim the fucking rock?

Wow. You're out of your right. Look at him. No, it's not. I was impressive. All right. How many you played? Who put a couple times?

You know, it was me. We played basketball and somebody went to check the ball. The Metzger, he was on defense. And we've been playing for like three hours. I just realized this is the first time I've touched the ball today. Did we play for three hours? Somebody was just like, I checked. We used to play a game in Queens, the Astoria game.

Yeah, it was amazing. I met everybody. But yeah, a bunch of comics would show up. It was so fun. It was on Wednesday. Wednesday afternoon, right down the street. I have everybody. But yeah, a bunch of comics would show up. It was so fun. It was on Wednesday. Wednesday afternoon, right down the street. I have a picture of, uh,

I never got invited. You were me list, John Fish and Nate and Nate is so fat. We invited John Fish. Yeah, you didn't invite me. Joe doesn't invite me to any. I wasn't part of that. First of all, A, you came to a party and you were way. You officiated the wedding.

Yeah, you didn't know us then. Uh, you didn't know any of us. You, John, officiated. And I had just just marked that down. I had just arrived in the city. I didn't know nobody. I didn't know you. I met you and the podcast.

You brought me to your house. And Lewis was supposed to come. I've told the story before. Lewis was supposed to come. And then he just no call, no showed it. And I could not believe. Joe's mind was blown. I remember that.

He's blowing this off. Yeah, I remember because yesterday when you lived by Bobby, those, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, That was one of the worst departments. That was the worst. We podcasted in that. That was the worst part when I ever owned it was. It was own. You didn't own that shit. I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah. Clearly. Loose goes, I've owned a lot of apartments all over the city. I owned a room with the man having the motel.

Wasn't it, wasn't it uneven like the. Oh, dude, my hotel room that I owned this weekend was a shit. Wasn't it uneven? The floors. Yeah, dude. It was like a shit. Wasn't it uneven the floors? Yeah, dude. It was like it was the yet that weird kitchen situation. They like built it on like like shifting plates or something. Like just like the floor is like that.

It's fucking crazy. Did and I remember I moved into this place and it was like it was almost like weekend at Bernie's home. By the way, I'm not weekend at Bernie's home. What does she say? I said, babe, what time did you say I go to bed every night? Mainly 12, 30. No, don't lie, dick.

Damn. Don't lie, dick. Let's say it says 10 and then it says maybe, maybe 10 and it's the letters M and B. Yeah. She doesn't write out full words. Guys, I think, uh, Lou, we got to check New Jersey, but Louis might be breaking some laws here. Because I don't know this woman can live alone, let alone take a little. She went M10. James is watching her right now.

James goes, hey dad, I think we're almost out of snacks for her, you gotta have to come back. Dad, we need baby wives. So you know, it's like my cousin Vinnie. You know, they kept on every time they moved into a new place, it was like more noisy than the last day. So this was my life in New York City for years like I move into it like I would move into a place I'm like, oh finally new place the six-clock of the morning. I'd open my eyes and there'd be construction Didn't happen so many times it was it was comical. It was laughable, but when I moved into this place

It was like it was technically a roommate situation, but we had our own entrances So like in my head I I Commit myself that I had my own place, you know? Yeah. So we shared the bathroom in the kitchen, but we had our own sort of like bedrooms that we had our own. And that dude was like a random dude from New York. He was a fucking hand. I was a Philly guy actually.

That's what he was, because he had a bunch of Philly flags up in the dude. He was a fucking like a dickhead Philly guy. He was in 2019. Good night. In school, in school to be a lawyer. And, but I remember the, the first night I was there, dude, I had my windows open, because Dick had Philly guy in 2019 good night in school in school to be a lawyer and But I remember the the first night I was there dude. I had my windows open because it was so hot and Across the street this is the West out highway like 11th Avenue 47th Street

There's all these garages on the West Side highway and what they do is they do their work overnight So I open my window dude and all the doors are open and they're doing whatever the the tool that goes. That thing. But yet there's in the shape of these garages. Well, the cabs get fixed. Yeah, dude, they created like they created like sounded like a pit crew going to fuck all night. Yes, but you understand the shape of these garages created like a perfect like

sonic. Dude, it was fucking nuts, dude. It was so loud. garages created like a perfect like Dude it was fucking not soon. It was so loud. I called the cops And she was like she's like I'm sorry. There's nothing we can do about a garage working Sorry, and then I like you mean a pussy I said no, I was like he's not what you do about you fucking financial situation I'm gonna go over there and I said I'm gonna beat them to death with a hammer and then she goes I'm on the phone 911 she was like sir. I have to send a cop over there right now She was like you can't threaten and I was like what and then I just hung up the phone and I never break all break all

No Wow that's wild when I lived in Astoria below the train, I moved finally into a room with a window and I was like, this is gonna rule, and I opened the window and it was to the back like where the alley is. Jesus. But the train would hit metal on metal

when they do work on it on the weekends and it'd go, and it would bounce off the back just like yours. It would like bounce into my room. It was something like for Circus voice. Check it out. Oh my God. You know, you do got hot. Yeah.

Let's get out. I'll tell you. Deepo fucking Justin Silver. Is it a woman? Is it a comic woman? Let's narrow down. This is a fun game. Woman.

So wasn't hot before. I never thought she was hot and then recently I was like, God damn, she got hot. You're a comic. We know. We know her. Gabby. Oh, Gabby. Why would this be fun? Come on. Just keep on getting. Gabby. We have two hot dudes. Do look at Gabby's fucking Instagram. I'm kidding. Gabby's is Gabby got fucking hot. You guys both look at you. Yeah, Gabby is a great. No, she's not rich. People get hot as they get older, because they get all

like that. I think she's like 28 now, too. She's older. She's older. She's older. Too old for me, bro. Yeah. Side hot dogs. They got to be 120 side winners. Gotta be or else I won't even sniff that shit, bro. How under 20? Yeah, 20 20 20 20 20 20 20. Fuba. Phoebe. What's Phoebe? I don't think it's going to look that up. I think it's within H. A Phoebe. Have a file have a Phoebe. But I don't know. I ain't gonna do it.

I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. It's like a step above pedophile. Oh, nice. Yeah, I'll do that. I know you had some story. Put me down for that. I'll take two of those. Isn't that barely legal?

Isn't that what that porn was? 17. That I've heard about? Apparently legal means legal, 18. Ah. Oh, 18 isn't it? Yeah, but the idea is that you're, you know, you're dancing on the line. Hey,

oh, and then state by state, I'll try. No, hey, jerk in office is the baby's been born? Um, no, I haven't been jerking off too much. It's a, you know, translucent baby in the room. I feel like a prize fighter heading to a big champion. You get I get I got nervous when I had Max, because I felt like if something happened emergency wise, and I had just jizz on my knuckles and I had to run out of that. So funny when you have a kid is, because we all throughout my whole life,

up until I had a kid, I never washed my hands. For really any reason, much less jerking off. Like I just didn't really wash my hands. Now I regularly wash these suckers. Do you think we're going to reward you for that? Actually, actually, Dan, I did get him something. Here is, here's a present for washing your hands. Yeah, why wash your hands? There's a roll that I'll be cooking for the kid. Yeah, I'll put in your cooking for yourself. And you're worried about your little pussy kid getting sick if you don't wash

your hands because of germs What is the fuck is the piece of shit? I don't want me eat my cum, dude. What the fuck take a babyship, dude? Um, by the way, speaking of which? Take a babyship. I changed, I changed, I changed, I changed, I changed, I changed, I changed the baby the other day speaking of which and then like 45 minutes later I was watching TV and I noticed I had a streak of shit down my head just several

Watch the stuff here. I just totally forgot and I had been picking my nose Nails you've been faking your hand like you was your crush. Yeah I like you new lipstick face a little weird Yeah Who who uh who uh who uh Your second machino impression. Yeah. Who's watching the baby more? You're even Steven. Well, he's got the podcast right now. Yeah. I'm doing a five hour podcast at one a.m. right now. So she's variety round table.

He's got a more and I went on the road a couple of times. You have to wake up in the middle of the night and heat up the bottle and all that shit and rockets. Now you don't actually have to heat up a bottle. We I warm or you had a warm up the well, it depends if you freeze the breast milk. Oh, you had breast milk. Don's tits didn't work. We had breast milk too. In the at the Sarah had the breast milk. No, I'm talking about in the podcast. Oh, we had her. We had her drink. We all tried different milks. Classic. Yeah, we're like, we're like, let's see whole milk, almond milk, breast milk, which one tastes like human being? Why do I feel

stronger and smarter and have more muscle fibers in me? Did it was limitless milk? I know every capital. We just learned how to play the piano. I know every river. Z Y X W V Army. True pie is 3.14. No, palette, don't know. I like that. All of us know a little thing. Oh, really? That's all that's all comedians are all grifters. We all know a little bit of stuff. We are grifters. That's right. If you tipmunk was fucking go row. I thought

it was great. I thought it tastes like cereal. No, it's sweet at first, but then it had the aftertaste of human body, which is very, it's exactly like come. What? That's why I read. You wrote in a blog, you fag. I've read about eating your own come. On the back of your hand after you wrote a thing. Eat this. We all have stories, you know. That's why I love about this podcast. Life's an open book.

We're very hot and then we fucking die quick. Well, you got to, you know, what's the most scared you've been as a father? I'm the most asked to question them to start, Stex. He goes guys go. You know, that Jaguars are up. Tell a story if you don't find real hard. What? Jaguars are playing the, oh, got you.

Cincinnati bangles and money. I think, uh, Cincinnati bangles are losing. Like I'm like scared of him being hurt or scared of him, a scared of him like emotionally being hurt. There's two fears I have. Like when he got over, he got to fight. One of them's Frankie fears. The guy lives on my shoulder.

You're afraid he's going to be emotionally hurt? Well, no, this, yeah, because there's this, too. There's one like, you know, when he was, he got some kid was fucking with him at school and he was like, dad, this, you know, he had like a bully or some shit and I was a couple kids and I was like, dad, he had like a bully or some shit. And I was a couple kids and I was like, dude, you gotta go, you gotta face it.

I go, but you don't have to, if you don't wanna do anything, don't do anything, just go to the teacher and I called the teacher, I go watch him. But I was a little nervous that they were gonna fuck him up and do something to him or he was gonna do something and hurt somebody. I, because my brain, I'm psychotic. I always do the whole thing.

Like, he grabbed somebody and headlocked and does some jiu-jitsu move but doesn't know how to let go. somebody I was because my brain I'm psychotic. I always do the whole thing like he hurt. He grabs somebody and headlock and does some jiu-jitsu move, but doesn't know how to let go. Quick. He's nervous and then the kid gets hurt and go. I bring my brain right down that road. Yeah. Yeah. I go fucking crazy with that. So that was emotionally where I was nervous. What do you do? Nothing happened. That's usually not beat up. We had a change of kids. Nothing happened. I didn't pick up extra gigs. He's got to go private. He actually became friends with, they call him a McCry McFuth. That shit.

It's, that's New York City baby. He, he became friends with a kid like that day. They wanted to hang it out. That's how, that's how it works. You know, one day they fucking hate each other. Yeah, that's it. James is, you know, his one of his close friends also get that he like has almost gone until like physical things with. Yeah, it's weird. It's fucking weird.

The really shut the fuck up. No, take a little sip. Take a little sip. Tiny sip dude. Just a ton. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, damn it, Louis did you get it? But I think like, like scared for his life.

Yeah. I think it was, um, I get scared for his life a lot because I was petrified in my life all the time. Yeah, you grew up in the streets. Well, no, not that. To watch your back. Hard to do. I gingivitis. I got scared on the cruise.

We just went on that he was just going to fall off. And that's that. Hey, here's the thing. You just hear the guy falls off the cruise. Let me ask you a question. I jump off. You know, you're both. You're both done. You're both dying. I die with them because he's not dying over more. I'm gonna go in there. Oh shit. I just found out that those ships have missiles.

Oh shit. What's up? The way. Is we me Rolex? Are we too loud? Are we being gay? Are we too gay? Cruise missile.

It is too gay. I knew we were being together. Fuck it. Let's just see how I can get me a roll. We together cruise missile We're being together It was a new ECK everyone they're understood Adrian Apollucci's filming a special downstairs. Are we being too loud? No, it's down That is a bit then you did it Why I didn't hear what he said? I was in fucking life.

I didn't give him your roll. Hey, dude. His dick was out. Take a tiny sip. Take a tiny sip. Hey, folks, this episode of The Rigs is also brought to you by all of our favorite product. There's nothing that we all use more than Sheath underwear.

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How cool is that? What? Yeah, they got a deal with the UFC. I like the blue. Let me see. I got a Colorado pair. You got the Colorado pair? No.

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in the hallway. What do you mean? Who he said he needed you in the hallway. Who he, who he, he, he, we're getting slapped. Who he, who he, who he, who he, who he, who he, we're starting to reach empty on the gas side. Is that another pun? Yeah, you're gonna put it up. Put it up on the old spot.

Put it up on the old spot. Put it on the bum board. Put it on the bum board. Uh, your girlfriend falls off the cruise ship. Do you jump in after you watch her die? Oh, yeah. You die with it. So, you know, if you fall off cruise ship,

no. There's no stopping the cruise ship. That's my queen, dude. I'm in there. You do fly a girl? I love her. Listen. the cruise ship. That's my queen, dude. I'm in there. You do Free a girl. I love her. Listen. Maybe you guys should have married. You like you lover live on your life I love dawn, but I'm not leaving max Collin you're going to call a queen of his godfather. I'm not leaving him with Quinn

He's like, I don't know you can fucking go to school. Hey, hey, read this. It's a constitution. Yeah, fucking. I don't know. Your father was a fucking dickhead. No, dude. I'm I'm I'm why are you guys mad at me for my choice? My body. My choice. So I'm supposed to be eating out of it. Freaky Friday You have to be you have to yell at cab drivers shut the fuck up God just what it feels like Feel the power in this neck Dan, but you can't do it lose that's He's checking my fucking head. It's huge. I just wanted to say around it. He tries to punch stuff, but his mom is break because he hasn't ever lose his

Mr. Glass Come here Katie buddy you got Come here. I jumped there like faith off and call the daddy. I'm coming. I jumped there like faith off and calling the daddy. Daddy, daddy, don't fuck your fiat. Louis, get out of here. You weird sick fuck. You got it, John. No, we freaking find it. We freaking find it on the box. I

You see she's right in bang my feet I get so bad the first thing I would do Parkes over gonna go home. I'm fucking something, woman of that dog. I'm fucking... Ah. Ah. So, I think you were getting wild tonight. I don't like my assing. Oh my God, you're sucking, but...

And you're not doing your normal voices while we have sex. What would Rodney Gangerfield sound like hitting it from the back? Ah, shit. Oh, man. That's good. His own daughter. I love that. I loved it. It was good stuff. You would let your girl die before James, right? Yeah, of course. James, you jump over, right? Yeah, I'd have to.

If your girl fell off, would you go and jump in after? No, I can't leave James. I can't leave James. Can't leave James? Can't leave your kid? Yeah. I don't have one. Yeah, we know. we get it. Yeah, you bring it up every episode. So now I'm getting defensive. Why do you get to get mad at me? Because you bring it up every

episode. Not me. It's okay. He brought me people don't know what love is. It's fine. He brought up these actually song about it. I want to know what love is. I want to help a kid. That's not exactly like a record scratch. You're an adult. That's why you can't. Wow, I can't smell. You can't smell with that bird beak. Hey, dude, right.

I called you about this this morning. I said on the podcast tonight, no bird beak. You did, you did. I apologize. I mean, you were eating seeds Yeah, I was feeding you sunflower seeds out of my hand pain landed on my That was the cops through the fuck

Slow motion Christmas music playing I bet you wondered how I got here Yeah, that's me. That's me. Who's Jerry Gomez? I really got myself into this one. So much in the glass. Five days, so Christmas. Where are you? What were you trying to say? Arm out.

You know, the leather fucking strapping that they for the Falcon glove. Gerggy. Gerggy. Gerggy. A Gerggy. You know what it's called. It's not called a Gerggy.

I don't know what we're talking about. You guys are talking about a Falcon. Falconer. Oh, Falcon. Yeah. The way a Falconer. Or a Hulk, Reeves. A Falconer?

Yeah. They're called Falconer. Look it up. You're a falcon idiot. Yeah. I might have you beat on bird noise. That's good. What is that? And then I think how I can do is just a low-energy city pigeon. That's good. What is that and then I can do is just a low energy city pigeon That's a bad picture. I can do I can do I can do I can do bush bush tree birds Do a chicken

I can do a turkey I can do a turkey. I can do a turkey. That's good. That's good. That's good. You suck and dick, though. Oh, fuck. Oh, do a... Oh, he gets mom and dad. He's gonna suck in my dick. Let's see, I can do a rooster.

Go ahead. Do it. Guck it out. The sword. Saying the words. A falconer. A person who keeps and often trains falcons for hunting. I found why don't you go and love and you know you are Why don't you turkey noise me? Oh You're a

And cancel You said That's good is that bass? No, no, not some stand-up Give me some bass. I'll do a little trumpet Yeah, we just hold it on to the round is over We just hold it on to the round is over Is fucking up. Yo, can I get a drink drink? Is that a fucking drink?

No, can you give me a double make a double burp on the rock? Why are you talking to them like you asked and they said no? No, I didn't That's not nice triple nipple. Can I get a fucking tea? No, not fantasy. You fucking idiot. Fantasy. What is he, you know, the Foxy people, like he's a fucking, uh, you know, I know do see if they have angels envy or look at that. Look at that thing. To do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to I've wanted guests they said no. Ari, one to 10, how sexy is what Israel's doing?

So hot dude. Yeah, I knew it. I knew you were going to say a double angel time the other rock or a wood for another rock. He's growing drink orders. Don't worry. How did the taping go? What is this?

Just for friends hang out in a podcast. Yeah. This up podcast you said. Yeah, but it's actually funny. It's called it's called destroy our forests. Yeah, I did. Yeah, so yeah, yeah, it's called suck our dick. She didn't know. What are we afraid? Can we get another microphone? No, I would love if we can't. It's a crossover episode. Dude, this is big for ratings. That's what I've been saying. Wow, dude. Can we, can we, can we say, we're'll sing into the same, we'll sing into the same Mike, like Johnny Cash and

June Carter. Go. Jackson. That was good. That worked out pretty good. How did Adrian's taping go? Oh, she fucking crushed that one. The last one.

She's got one more, right? Yeah, she got one more. No, the stage. See what they, she was flying up. What's the last one? What's the last one? Tomorrow. Last one's tonight. Ooh. I mean, that's right.

She took a hot dump. She took a dump. She took a dump. She killed. She has diarrhea. Let people know that the world know that what she does bad. What? She believed out of her pussy.

A patient. Oh, really? She last night show, both of them went well. Yeah. Yeah, this one was Adrian Salarius. Adrian is. She is yeah. Great. Yeah, this one was the Adrian Salarius. Adrian Salarius. She is. She's maybe the funniest female.

Why do you get her had female mashup? What? Just say funny comic. Well, because she's not the funniest comic. She's the funniest female. Yeah. Cause she's the 300th funniest comic. It's crazy.

Good, good point. But as a female, she's the funniest. Yeah, I think she's up there you gotta put every comic in their own categories they can be the best Dan's the funniest San Francisco 49ers fan Lewis is the funniest clean shaven head comic you know wow I had to pick which one to do it for I thought it'd be funny yeah it was good it was good you're in there first you have the funny little mouth boy. So we're trying to, we're trying to imagine what Joe's baby looks like. We're thinking it's like translucent like jellyfish like material.

That's been a new way to feed trans. Well, they thought that because I identify as a liquid. By the way, Soda's sick right now. You're sharing a microphone. That's how the conversation started. Areas 71 years old. Areas been sick for years? I covered him up ago, so yeah, he's 53. And then an hour later, Lewis reveals he washes his hand a lot because he wants to protect

his son. Because he learned ever since he had a boy they have to wash your hands. Yeah, I wash my hands. The washes hand the punches deflect off their skull. Yeah, if you get slippery wet fists. Why sucks to have one joke on the whole podcast. And that's it. What? Ari's bombed. Well, we think the bomb. He didn't bomb. He's not. He was funny. He's trying to know what was it. That's one of his reasons.

Joe, Joe's in a mood because his bedtime is nine o'clock. I go to bed early. They fucking schedule at 12 a.m. We have his guests to the guest. You fucking Johnny Nasey over here. He's I wanted to have guests. I said we should get Arya. I will I'll trade fucking Ari for Joe right now. Go be on the park. I'm doing this because of all the pro palestinian posts I've put up on my Facebook. Facebook.

You're back to Facebook. Yeah. I'm doing a lot. I'm doing a lot in Facebook. I must just got on my space. I think, who's this guy done so the cup eight? Who's the leading here? Hold on. What's that? Can we smoke weed in here?

We've never been able to do that. We've never been able to do that. Let's smoke bats in here, Doug. Now we can't smoke. Why? I can't smoke. He can't smoke. No more let you. By the way.

What? No more let you. Yeah. He said, no, the owner of the owner of the the owner of the building. Yeah, the guy owns the comic sellable levy. Yes, that's true. No, no, I'm smoking allowed. No, I like it.

I said I left. Yeah, but I think I probably didn't hear it. So I like it too. I thought I was great. One of the time I missed you. I haven't seen you all the time. Ari, what are you doing? What's going on with you?

I'm a little producing a special. I thought you were moving out of the country. Not for a bit. Not for a bit. What's going on? Where are you doing? What's going on with you? I'm a little producing a special. I thought you were moving out of the country. Not for a bit. Not for a bit. What's for a bit? What are you moving? In like a year and a half. I thought you were moving like six months.

The England or Australia? I'm going to go to South America for a while. Back back around, I don't know. And how long you going to be gone for good? Years, so, or five years. Why don't you be your friend, dude? Why don't you stop doing that, dude? Stop fucking making us like you and then leaving us.

What are you running from? Yeah. Every time I got to re like you again. Yeah, you come back as a yeah, you got to come back and Lewis has to use to your sent to you. He becomes unfamiliar. He becomes aggressive. Three days before you get that they're going to bring a shirt if you're as

then leaving the bed with the nose. Oh, I don't know about that. He's finally recognizing it. He's like, oh, he's excited. No, I know it looks aggressive. He's excited. He's excited. He's pulling up a chair.

You're 53. You can't be on your knees. He can't keep lowering it. Do we have another mic? No, we know right there. We go. Hey, are you I got to get back to producing? Oh my God.

I mean, she's got it. She's got it. What happened with that? What happened, Burbin? Is that the second one word for it? No, I have a question. I have a question. When you hear the hard.

No, no, no, no, real deal. Real nice. When you hear on the rocks, What does that mean to you? He's autistic. He doesn't know What's in your head? That's what kids threw at him as a kid. You're trying to tell me you don't you don't know for a fact This guy has pictures of Natalie Cuomo with her eyes cut out and his closet I'm gonna bring you Fuckin whiskey on the rocks. He doesn't know what that means. Give me a cup of ice, please. Jesus Christ. Yeah, it's crazy

I said a bourbon of the rocks. Yeah, but you say like a cunt. No, I. Jesus Christ. Yeah, it's crazy. I said a bourbon of the rocks. Yeah, but you say it like a cunt. No, I don't do that. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. Can I get a fucking idiot? Get me things. It's like, damn, I just thought that's a perfect list.

It's a good list for corning, by the way, the way that I asked. 100% rewind it and listen to old cunt tone, talk to these fucking dummies. The cunt tones, that was my beard. You dummies, can you mash that up and make a clip of it? You fucking dunces. Yeah. R is getting his lick. R when you leave too, when you come back, you never bring us gifts.

Dead dude. I'm the gift. What? I don't like that. I like it. You're all over the world. You can't just go up. A magnet.

A magnet. My mind, by the way, my magnet collection is fucking retarded. Mine's unbelievable. It really is. It's like it's misspelled states. Yeah. It's all magnets that are fucking stupid. Now the cooler I got I love a fucking cool magnet.

My favorite magnet. I don't care. I was gonna be a pun. Was that like a you said I get a pun. It's gonna be a pun. I know it. Magnet PI.

Hey, I'm not bad. I got this is gonna be that. No, it know it. Magnet PI. Hey, I'm not bad at being nuts. Is it gonna be that? No, it wasn't gonna be a pun. I was gonna literally tell you my favorite magnet. What's your favorite magnet? My favorite magnet. My favorite magnet. Holy shit.

That's what country it's from. Fagged it. Yeah, Canada. I know where it's from. Puerto Rico. It's from, no, it's from Jamaica. No, Jamaican crazy, baby boy. That's your favorite magnet. Well, I have a bunch of what is a pot? My favorite magnet, my favorite magnet. It is tits in a Jamaican bikini and it's a bottle opener. And it's a bottle opener. That's not

really a magnet. It's a bottle opener with a magnet. Where is it? Where is it? It's a magnet is a magnet by itself. I'm gonna actually fight you. When? Why? I'm just trying to tell you this. I'm gonna actually fight you. Stop pretending that because there's a bottle opener. It's a bottle opener.

When you bought it, I bet it said on the receipt, bottle opener. I'm just magnet. There's no receipts in Jamaica. It's a third world country. I mean, stole. I just like I said, Ari's brought me many gifts. What?

No. He came to visit me in Ecuador. Yeah. Fuck, he never brought me nothing. He came to visit me. You wouldn't give me your address. What? Only one.

Ecuador. I tried. That's a funny not home. I'm at the airport. You just go to ask the Spiegel. I go to the airport. You go to Ecuador and you go like you're No, and you go. It's very dangerous. Are you go? Where's the Jew?

And they go right down there. The tall one. The tall one. They go me. Me, sir, I fear down by the water. You mean the one that likes cheating? Me, sir. Me, sir, kind of me, sir,

Burman down by the water. Have you seen the X. We sir? Have you seen the Jew? No. Tall guy. Looks sick. No, it'll do. It'll do. Yeah. Tall guy, looks sick. No. You little did all.

Yeah. Literally everyone, everyone, I grew up this tall. I was just giant, you. I just, I never got lost. Anybody I look for? Oh, the one who killed Christ, he is lives up in the trees. This is for me, Mr. Mann in the... Can you bring us again?

Did you, is Golan, is Waxamur? Did you, is what? Golan, it was a superhero there. I'll bring you a fridge bag, then golem? He's walks a more Jewish one golem. It was a superhero there's I'll bring you a fridge magnet for my next place to go to February. I don't like man. I don't like magnets. I like Snickers You're like what's the snickers? Yeah, you're a snicker from the source You're sued go to sneak him out

You like up it When most brought down the two snickers from the high I Got it When most brought down the two snickers from the high Dude I know you're gonna be on snicker mountain and there's snickie trees everywhere. Did you get across the twigs River? I like I want like a I'll get your candy from a place. No, okay. I'll take that yeah But Ecuador and candy is, dude. Every time we get candy from another country, it's horseshit. No, not the UK. They have real chocolate. Yeah, dude, and Canada has the best candy ever.

You can't have the best candy? Yeah, because they don't have our candy suck. Our candy bullshit. It's all candy. The answer right now, we're into Amsterdam. The food in Amsterdam sucks. Parable, dude. I think that's true waffles.

Yeah. Yeah, true waffles, fucking rule. They do, dude. I've been to Amsterdam too. I think I have stupe waffles. Yeah, yeah, stupe waffles fucking rule. I've been to Amsterdam too Tell you what Belgian waffle was the best waffle I've ever had a So good stupe waffle. I hate the street waffle. Why didn't you like the shoot for cuz he's two ten? Yeah, I don't like it They have one drink you can make with like play with the ashes of an frank

That is nice. That's pretty crazy with the ashes of Anne Frank. That is nice. That's pretty crazy. I tried to go to the Anne Frank house this time and then I found it. You have to like make a reservation like two months in advance. Yeah. I was like, if the Nazis knew that. Well, I think that was such a bomb that it started making you do hear that sound

that I pitched. Yeah. I need to like, I feel like I just want to do a concert. Dude, dude, I gave the room tonight as soon as that button. They're back there going like, we're going to see me quit and do this. All the needles dropped. People playing with her and the birds just died off. I don't know if we went through a magnetic field or if that was the worst joke ever.

That's just not coming out of the wall. Whales are beating themselves. I've seen nothing like this. Nothing like this. This is a kind of good sneaker fan. They just stop bogging in Israel and Gaza. They're making a clover feel about it. The polar ice caps just stop melting.

Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, it's just crazy. Damn, Joe, you really got that good stuff. Late at night. How does it feel to be in a podcast? We laugh at you, dude. What?

I'm just a half. Well, I think laughing offers. All right, guys, I already find a show at the palace of fine arts January 13th San Francisco. Oh, that's sick. That's a great venue. That's a great venue. And that's from the same city with the San Francisco 49ers are

from and they beat the Philadelphia Eagles 42 to 19. That's the great venue and that's from the same city with the San Francisco 49ers are from and they beat the Philadelphia Eagles 42 to 19 Best team in football right now. Oh Arche Fear producer Friend director lover He's everything man's got it really. You big Huge balls big balls Don't do it. You can do it. Please don't do it. No, we gonna add it They're so big dude, it's crazy

Look figure looks like a cow's heart Jesus get out. What the fuck man? That's the gross shit I've ever seen. We took the block your mouth because you were afraid you were going to gargle them. No, I was blocking them. Why are they so red? I don't know. It's so big dude.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. What's the purpose? What was this plan there? How fucking hard does he come? That's gotta be a lot. But it comes in the horse. Do big balls, they're four relations between ball size and the amount that you come. Who goes first?

Who goes first? Because I shoot big all those and my balls are fucking tight. You got tranny nuts. It's a tranny nuts. It's tight balls, dude. So funny thing to close my eyes. I went through the doctor. I just, I swear to God, I just I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid.

I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid.

I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid.

I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. Well, his doctor visit was outdoors. You want to have docking with his doctor? He goes, let's make sure our penis is touched so we can transfer energy. Yeah, that was pretty bomb me. That was right. So what happened? We squeezed the juice.

Yeah, he squeezed my balls and then he goes on my one ball. He goes, oh, that was tiny, huh? And I'm well, he can't call my ball tiny dock. That was like when I was getting back when I was one of my balls, the smaller than the other one. When I was like 20, remember when he's going to Bellevue all the time? Yeah. When I was like 23, when I was like when I was getting back when I was, one of my balls is smaller than the other one. When I was like 20, remember when he's good at Bellevue all the time? Yeah. When I was like 23, when I was like,

why? Because you don't have to have health insurance to see doctors. If you're insane. Yeah, if you're fucking crazy, funny. No, but you can like go register with them and though, let you go see a doctor for 20 bucks. It actually rules if you don't have health insurance.

He's like, this guy has a voices. He goes, he has how to do that. But I had a, I had a work that I needed to burn off off my ween. I'm a weener. And they use the liquid liquid nitrogen that, and this woman was just holding my balls in my deck and she just goes, she's just,

man, I'm hungry. And then I was like, what? You just look like Abe Lincoln. It does. Not okay, Joe. Not okay. You know I'm really easy. Too soon. Are you really? Yeah. You're kidding. Yeah. Oh, he was gay. He slept in bed with, he wrote, he slept in bed with many wrote gay letters to a man they have. How much he misses him and loves him him and his wife's name was Mary Todd And his wife look like a dude

He looks like a lady you've received that up And also when they when they shot him he tried to suck the end of the gun He would whoa well look at this a metal So I usually take that in my face. Young man, can you hold take my hat off if you put your hand on the back of my head? It's John. Is it John Woot's? Nice. I've never seen a metal penis like that. That dumb bobby is, but I was like, nice Paul.

I'm not fucking know. John Woot's poop. Yeah, nice Paul. It's the port of the other thing. It's the four-liter thing. It's his most famous assassination of all time. Desh the tyrants. I would never fucking pull John Wilkes booth. Uh, do we have a conversation?

You would neither. I would have. No, you wouldn't have. Give me, give me trivia right now, go anything. Who, who's assassinated? Who was assassinated to start World War One? Kennedy. No.

What? Franz Ferdinand. Jetlay.. No. What? France, very mad. Jetly. Hunch, Duke. Shut up. Fucking dork. Who is it? Hull on. I don't know.

I suggest that larger testicle volume, I thought one testicle being small than the other man, you're heart disease. Areas heart disease likely? Both is not too huge. Yeah, they're both big. They were both massive. What did you say when one small you have heart disease? That's when I thought that red set.

Could you pull up some other stuff from bits we did nine minutes ago? Fuck heads. Hey, I kinda like this. This is a fucking fucking shit. Just turn and heal. Let me get some fucking ice to you, fucking queer. I keep saying queer, go with queer.

You know why? Because I wanna say the upward, but queer is a little nicer. Queer is nicer. I said f-word a couple times. I did. Yeah, that's bad. I think we're... Yeah, we go beat those out so we can monitor everything. Bleep everything. Bleep the whole thing out.

And you know what? It's just better for business, baby. Boop. That should be the ending. Could be fucking men. What? Menly men, dude. We're men in tiiiits. We roam around the forest looking for fights. That Robert's out. Robert the prince. The prince is on the other side. That movie had so many good jokes. You were tarted. I don't like that.

The whole idea. Blinken. Prince's pride was better. Yes, it was. But Blinken had a bunch of great jokes. That's all right. Mr. Robin, you've lost your rooms and be- Oh, but you agree with that. Nice. Who does? What did you do it? He goes, Blinken, this is a, this is a two, a two in these parts. No, Brooks, dude, he doesn't miss. Yeah. Dude, it's space balls.

How's that? Nice space balls. Young Frankenstein. Young Franks, that was great. I thought it was a good movie. It's great. Man, it's blazing saddles. I'm sorry, blazing saddles was the great.

You can't watch it now. A loud. I can can I come The sheriff is a Slower sorry about the whole up years The funny I watch him on half speed Really live live the end word half speed. Yeah That was good. Well, there we go. I'm sure do our reads. Yeah. Oh, yeah, but there we go. I don't know, should we do our reads?

Yeah. Oh yeah, like should do some plug. Plug it up. I don't know if you're a little more sure. Oh, it's good. Plug, plug it up. Is this coming out tomorrow, Natalie? Yeah.

Do you have to stay up all night editing this and fucking hit in the angles? Yeah. Thank you very much, Natalie. Do you want me to do my read right now? Go ahead. We're doing a lot. We're doing the reads now.

We're doing the reads at the end of drop men now. Are we just doing that? Stu a minute. Just get it over. Yeah, why not? We have a lot going on this holiday season. No, we're going to the reads at the end of drop men. Now, are we just doing that? Just do a minute. Just get it over. Yeah, why not? We have a lot going on this holiday season. You have a lot going on this holiday season. It's important to save time where you can.

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why don't you do a little bit of personality here? Why don't you tell people about your personal stuff with that? I love factoring meals because they make restaurant quality meals two minutes to deliver right to your door. I mean, I had fucking flames over. Flaming your own. You can't swear it. You can't swear it.

You can swear it in the reach. No, you can't. You can't. Choose one percent. Choose from over 35 weekly meal options. You most certainly can. No, you can't. Lewis, can I tell them about the awesome breakfast options or can I not?

Yeah. Because Apple Cinnamon pancakes, bacon and cheddar egg bites, and a lot of other options are making me lose my GD mind. You can, you can curse. No, you can't. So many options. There's something everyone in the like I don't make a living in podcasting.

Listen, I'm just telling you right now, I live in this corporate world. I was born into it. Born into it. Born to my, by the time. I'm in good impression. You turn into a fucking French chef. Malci!

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I'm so to you to again, and Joe, you're getting. What am I doing? And you're getting them to set. Take a baby. Thank you. You're welcome. In fact, door. Yeah, they sent them to my house. There are many. You're welcome. In fact, who is?

Yeah, they sent it to my house. You know what I love about meal prep stuff is I am so lazy that I need someone to do it for me if I need to be healthy. Because if it's healthy, I'm not going to pursue it. This is not fun, but this option. Yeah, it's actually a good gift to give somebody. Yeah, great gift. I'm going to be all up in it.

I'm going to be all up in it. All up. Give the gift of laughter with me. Where are you going to be, Joe? Speaking of giving. January 11th is the 13th laughter with Peter. Where are you going to be, Joe? Speaking of giving up. January 11th is the 13th Tacoma Comedy Club in Tacoma, Washington. Great club that club. And then the following we laugh it up, Pekipsi.

Yeah. January 19th and the 20th Club too. And then Comedy Mother Ship February 8th through the 10th. Hey, my name. My name, my name, my name. That's it. I fucking love that. Yeah, we have some fun guests to do.

It's going to be fun. And this comes out this week, right? Tomorrow. Yeah, Joe Lish, Joe Lish, Joe Lish comedy.com comedian, Joe Lish, Joe Lish. Go to Punch Up Live. That's even better. Punch Up Live is great. Punch Up Live. We're gonna be Lewis. Uh, brand new tour, the meaty ogre tour coming to a city near you. January, I'll be in EMS, Pennsylvania. Gonna be in Key West, Florida. February. I'm gonna be in Pekipsi, Saratoga, Tampa. Lots of other dates all up at the website, LewisofSkanks.com.

Grab tickets there and check out my other pods, Legion of Skanks, Real Ass Podcast. And yeah, that's that. Dan, what are you? This Friday, I'm gonna be at the Royal Oak Music Theater in Royal Oak, Michigan. And then Saturday, I'm gonna be at the Buckhead theater in Atlanta, Jordan. Hell yeah. We do a lot of theaters, man. Let's just at the end of the year.

And then the, I still have tickets available for the film war in Philadelphia. That low ticket warning on that low ticket warning in Philadelphia. And just not that way, the other one December 16. And then I'm doing a weekend of, I'm going to do a weekend of like at the port comedy club in Baltimore. You just did it. Fill it up more. That's fun.

Did you just do the port? Port was awesome. I'm excited. I'm going to go do fuck. I, you know, I taped, I taped my hour in Portland about three weeks ago. Whoa. I'm going to put it out in February. Oh, but I'm just going to fuck around in Baltimore.

It's such a great club. The guy owns it. The comics. It's coming. I'm excited. It'll be fun. You have a good time and a cool little area right there. And that's, yeah.

So that's January 5th and 6th, um, dancoder.com for full dates. Yeah. Love you guys and listen to soda. My podcast on all where you can get all podcasts and on YouTube. I'm going to be in a scroll up fuck faces. Oh God, they do suck Lewis. Uh, Deanna Beach, Florida improv this coming up the 15th. That's a fun club, dude.

And the 16th. I've heard it's great. I love to play it. I have been on that side of Florida in four years. You're in a lot of I'm only on the West side. So I'm here to think a lot of time Miami Fort Lauderdale area. What's going on? Daniel Beach fun shows can't wait the rooms great staff is awesome. It's great awesome. I'm that Fort Wayne The 31st on New Year's. I'm doing one two shows summit city comedy club

I played there with Ari and big J last time was there. Ticket's still available for that. That's New Year's Eve and I'm comedy work, Saratoga. I'm gonna be at the, I'm gonna be all over the fucking place. So make sure you eat Providence, Comedy Connection, January 26th. I got tours all the way up until June and then I'm done. So and make sure you check out Bonda Pick podcast with me in Verzy. And of course the bonfire. What was it like? You said I should do?

What's that? You said I should do a bit. And there's like a cut that Natalie. When you look back at that, will you tell me what it was? Thanks. The bit was about, uh, I remember. Uh, forget though. I remember it.

I'm still fine at the same time. I believe in Natalie. Yeah, you got a long night. Natalie. Are you going to stay up and just edit this? Oh, no, you're going to wake up and do it. You have all day tomorrow. Nice. What time does this go out? It's a little Dan knows about editing a fucking podcast. He's like I'm gonna be like a week to get this out

It's a fucking podcast guys. They're retarded Natalie's retarded. I like a good edit So assuming Yeah, what is she editing? Not that much. She's got a beat about a couple. I know, but I'm assuming she's she also has to pick angles from the cameras. No, they're doing it live. You know, the sweetest switchers.

They switch it now. Will you guys go back and find out what the joke was? Yeah, we can't get our balls. We should learn how demonetize us. That's our good signature. It's not. I mean, it's a little, you know, that's what we do the similar bit. It's funny.

What's going on? We still podcasting. You guys still friends? Well, yeah, this is this was what we got. Christmas coming up. We got next week. We're doing the, uh, oh, we are now. Yankee swap. Yankee swap. Are we going to drop? Is a surprise? Well, they know. I don't know what's happening. No, no, no Yankee swap. We do it every year. It's not a surprise. Yeah, do you know what? Yankee swap, dude. We did it live one year. Well, they know I don't know what's happening now. I'm no Yankee swap. We do it every year

It's not a surprise. Yeah, you know what you Yankee swap dude. We did it live one year. That was really fun You're bombed. Oh dude. That's because I'll take can I tell you why Lewis fucking figured it out halfway through They don't didn't because they gave away tickets to regular comedy cell of fans set up holding him back Lewis you are pun heavy today Yeah, they got a pun tally. You know, it's been way more than that. Are you kidding? He's done like eight.

You guys, I don't think they know what a pun is. No, I like they do either. But Bobby, you're right. There are people that had no idea who we were. And that's, that's a family event. Louis C.K. was in a Santa Claus outfit and they were like, they didn't know. I didn't care. And his dick was out.

All right, dude, it makes me. They'll never know unless they go back and watch the other folks. Can you get a guy makes one? But we did one. Remember we did one in the lounge. Kumya was on. That was like that was great. That was great.

We also did want to. Of course, everyone watched that one. Yeah. That was the brain with the moosh. We did one of the first live podcasts ever. YKWD with Norton and Bailey Jay that one and then we did one with Lewis member Lewis came in like a wrestler. We did it at the pussycat before they didn't call me there. I remember that. That was a big one too. That was with Fistuka and Kumi.

Yeah, that was what I was talking about. Yeah, that was big. Yeah, that was a big one. That was good. Yeah, so we're gonna do that last year's sock, but it was, I think we pulled it all. No, last year's. It was just that they didn't know. No, last year we didn't do it. All the year before we did a lot. Yeah, we had to fight the one year. Oh, yeah. That was great.

With Lewis, the stripper, you and the stripper got enough fight. Yeah, what was that? You and Mary Jane got into it. Mary Jean, Mary Jean. Yeah, no, no, no, she, you got you and Mary Jean. Yeah, she, she came in and she was like, she was the gift. There's a lap dance. There was some horseshit. That was when Deepu had the thing. And then I called her, I gave her one way bus ticket. What did he say? Did he say the ball? The ball to more. And you had to get it within

like three hours. That's the greatest thing. He called her like a whore. I called her a hooker. And she's like, I am the hooker. It's actually pretty, you're doing a hooker. And she'd like, I am the hooker. It was actually pretty, you're doing it, Justice. And I was like, Well, she had her tits out and we gave her, it's weird to break up a fight where fake tits are hitting your heart.

No, we had to buy a painting at CVS. I go, you have to hold that up. Who's a painting that was given and she had to hold it up? No, I bought the painting for her to hold over her tits because we couldn't show her tits or we wouldn't be able to air it. So she was trying to fight him but holding this shitty painting up over a tits. Yes.

Yeah. I really thought that was going to be the beginning of a beautiful romance for you too. That was really something. That bit. Boy, we've had a lot of fun. Hi guys. That bit was gross. Yeah.

Yeah. Let's get home to our kids. A lot of life. You try to attack you though. Yeah. Yeah. You know, a lot of a lot of laughs. A lot of laugh. We have a lot of laugh. We have a lot of laugh. We have a black trans transsexual too, one year. Wasn't that the same woman? Yeah. We had a Puerto Rican. And then there was a black transsexual one year with

remember that? Yeah, vaguely. I have that memory mush together, though, which you might. She had like a big fucking sht to make in. Am I big? Remember? Apparently, is that just my big fucking sht to make in. Oh man. Big, remember? Oh, apparently you did. Is that just my fucking? So that's not your guys' go-to before you jerk off and then take a nap. This way. Guys, this was a big one.

We've had a lot of fun. We're really good. Come on, don't touch me. You sick, you're ill. You're fine, but everywhere. Dude, I'm sick with it. I hate when people say they are sick and they fucking, I'm not sick. I just have the sniffles.

It's sick. No, I'm sick. Yeah. Hey, sick dog. So I'll touch the kid. Ah. And you're coughing in your hands with two new elbow. Yeah, you are supposed to be dead.

You're not sick. You're not sick. A 10 year old thing. Cough into your hand and then touch everything. Yeah. Well, you're the ones have to deal with it. So suck my dick. That's real nice. And my germ hands. You're the ones have to deal with it. So suck my dick. That's real nice.

In my germ hands. That's the first class, Dan. Slap all you're gonna pinch slap all you. You're fucking class act, dog. All you fucking hose. What if you kill his kid? Yeah, real nice. What are you gonna do then?

Hmm? You can't suck. I'm gonna kill myself. I'm gonna kill myself. I would like that. In fact, let's get that in writing. My kid dies as a result of you. I don't think I'm gonna be myself. I would like that. In fact, let's get that in writing. I can't die as a result of you. I don't think I'm gonna be the only one I'm gonna...

Yeah. The ball will bounce off because my head's off. Can we do it on the rags though? Yeah, I'll kill myself. A bit of a final episode. Yeah, that'd be cool. Great. That'd be sick, dude.

Yeah, you kill yourself, whatever. You kill yourself, we do it really. Everyone goes home. Back the meals. You got a guy in your gun, you got a funeral. You got a coffin. What do you got? You got your coffee, dude? You got your bullet hole going through the back of your head, dude?

You got brain matter on the wall, dude. It's just fun. Let's get on. Let's go to the clip. Go to the clip. We have more ads. I thought we had more ads. Go to the one.

We have more on's. We have ads. Yeah, we have more ads. I read the ads We gotta do we gotta drop them in because they're their mid rolls Yeah, that's all right All right, well, we love you guys and we'll see you happy Yeah, we're really limping to the finish line. I kind of like it. What do you get? Well, we can't we sprained our ankles You know, no, we can't go on right now. We're picking up our pants. What?

No, no, we're fucking we gotta get our this is what we do fuck right the ship and you know what I mean? Yeah, we'll get it Don't throw stuff Don't throw stuff. Please don't do it. Don't throw stuff Cool. Yeah, don't they're not dogs. Lewis. I'll throw things at him. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Yeah, we should do what is get together yeah and record for like six hours wait We never stop and then just chop it up chop chop chop chop it up Three months three months worth episodes. It's fucking two episodes if we do six hours. That's not that's three episodes What are we doing so three episodes? Yeah, I thought we did like three. I was chopping up a six hour episode of the three episodes You're fucking Somewhere in the Let's chop it up a six hour episode of the three episodes you fucking We have magic here the fuck is wrong with you people that's what I'm saying so we magic all day Fucking movie hour we're not her'sburg

This dick has to do fucking Drag me to that dry left that you run run on her fucking bullet with Paul Versey. I was Fucking so you that's pretty good. What are you doing? Yeah? I got a new one of the fight Watching you Five bucks Who are you kid I pulled off the street Watch me. I'm just a protein into a club for five bucks. Lo, lo, lo, fucking rope. Who are you? Can I pull off the street?

My head's too big for my property. Guys, what we do is we do a six hour episode. Joe, I like where you head. Every two hours we change clothes. That's what I'm saying. No, don't change. Why do we have to change clothes? Because that's just the way it is.

Lewis is like, things will never be the same. Guys, can you come do real ass podcast? It records in far rock away at 11 a.m. I get there at 10 30 p.m. Hey, do you feel like getting up at seven in the morning and finding through mid-term stuff? So it's at noon and it's in the East Village. It started at 11 for a while.

It's noon now. I don't know. It's noon now. Because you just kept showing up at noon for your live and a mod. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One time he was an hour late. One time he was an hour late.

One time he was an hour late when I did real ass-bar guest. And then he revealed that he was watching the revenue. Why? He was too ours late. And then he revealed the reason he was late was because he was fucking and then they watched the Revenant.

Yeah, Louis J. I love the Revenant. Revenant rules. And then I would revenue. I did the Revenant on her. You all know why I get a ass like a bear. It's a bear. the Revenant Revenant rules and then I would Revenant I did the Revenant on her you all I want to ask like a bear it's a bear it's moving about a furtrap bear rape I'm not too fond of your plan Tom Hardy very good all right boys that was good good show who's better Tom Hardy or Daniel

they Lewis Tom Hardy Tom Hardy D.D.L. V. Tom Hardy D.D.L. is D-D-L. D-D-L is the day. I don't think Louis really makes like Tom Hanks look like a fucking piece of shit. Tom Hanks is not even in the fucking world. Oh, right. He's pretty good at it. Tom Hanks did one good character that he fucking stumbled when he met the retarded kid. He's in a bunch of good characters. What? Name one.

Phil and Elfie. He's great. Captain Philip is amazing. He's a gay guy. He's a dude. He's a same guy. I'm not saying he's a good guy. I'm saying good boy. I don't know. I've've heard of a character named Woody. I mean, what's wrong with you Alan? Left woods

Let's end the podcast What do you keep going I'm seeing a first thing in the morning. I'm a letter. I'm gonna see him in the morning. It doesn't look like a park. I said it's been funny in a half hour. You're gonna have to cut it up because you're carrying on. Protector parks can do four standing on their head. They have food. They got money. They got puzzles.

They say that money that like does it. It makes you not funny. Like I would be so much funnier from his rich. I really like I can see it. I just know you know why? Cause you'd be one of those eccentric billionaires. And I'd be like, we gotta go to Lewis's corn maze. It's called the real ass maze.

And if you win, you get a million dollars. And if you lose, he takes one of your kidness. But every episode we get a new Rolex. Yeah, I guess you guys check out the hot, those are all matching Jaguars. And I would have a chain like Mr. Beast. Yeah, except I would make people blind instead of returning to the right site. I've taken the thing you didn't realize you did me.

100 people went blind. I was going through acid. I threw acid in their eyes like the hundred the hundred octaves is mom. I melted their eyeballs out like it was slim dog millionaire. Cornographic film. Oh shit. Go ahead for a while ago. We were talking about corn maze. Make sure you check out everybody's websites. Yes Cs live punch up. You know we should do we should do a live show together

Yeah, I said we should do the grammar see I can get it done. You should do it. The grant. Why would go to a beacon? We can do the beacon No, we can let's start the grandity grand 100 people dude you pack the beacon with the movie Yeah, cuz that was him and Louis CK premiering a movie we can the rotten tomatoes go ahead and reveal the we can do grammar See because it's 500 people till it's bullshit We can do the grammar see dude hook it up. Why don't we do the Wilbur? I'm doing a little bit of February. I'm doing the world but to I'm here in the town actually we just added a second show so good to dance under that car Wow

Isn't it weird that this William Burr will Burr? It's a No, there is I'm not gonna do it. It's like a theater named after him. I'm not doing that fact He did like 38 shows there 19. It's a lot 19 shows in a row in a week. So the Mon Jesus Christ, but that would be like if there was a dance soda theater Oh, you would all day in Denver in Denver and it was called the soda theater Billy Burr on some of the property That's a lie. Yeah, you lie. I just lied I mean what the fuck you think

Robert Kelly live dot com. Yeah, Robert Kelly lies. Oh Guys, let's go get some fucking sleep. Sleep. Yeah, let's go sleep and suck. Hope you enjoyed the podcast. Make sure you share, like, comment, baby. All right, guys, make sure if you want the audio link, it's on YKWD, audio, on.

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find out where we're going to be. Follow us all. Fat gut, John. No dog. Holy shit. You got fat, dude. You're fat. You want to thank all the producers for coming in. You're gonna take up top the autistic three Natalie, of course. Natalie's hot, bro. She's autistic. It's like Mo Larry and Curly, but they're all named Curly. Yeah, but she's shimp. Sorry. It's like Mo Larry and Curly, but they're all named Curly. Yeah, but she's shamp. Sorry. Those bad. See you guys.

Jesse the 49 game. Fuck off. Whatever. We'll see you guys next week. The Rex. you