Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - The Regz ep #06 | Yankee Swap 2023 | Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, Luis J. Gomez and Joe List

Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to the gas. It's your man. What's up everybody? Welcome to the regs. R E G Z Lewis, Jay Gomez, Dan Soda and Joe Liss, the truth, corporate Dan and the rattlesnake. I'm the dude Robert Kelly. It's the Yankee swap. Mary Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Kwanza edition. No, what? No, what? You know what?kah Kwanzaa edition. Oh, what? Know what you know fucking say now. Oh fuck yourself. There's no Kwanzaa. There's no Hanukkah. This is a Christmas celebration You're absolutely right. I invented it forget about the Jews you brought everything

Starting point is 00:00:56 But you one day for one day. Can we just say fuck the Jews? No, one day, yeah, one day, yeah, dude. They killed Jesus. I mean dude. They need he was Jewish He was a carpenter from Bethlehem Imagine imagine a imagine joy Shut up Come on you face I was gonna talk I imagine a Jewish carpenter how annoying that was I'm sorry I'm sorry I read it out of nails you want more nails do you think while he's getting nailed to the crossing of the nail You're

Starting point is 00:01:34 You want to hold me up? I'm sorry that we're cooking over you You're going to go fuck you leave me the dark thing in a fucking juice song Path luvian. Look, I'm a Pavlov dog. Point guard a podcast. I do this and then I fake it. I pump fake it.

Starting point is 00:01:50 And I'm wide open and I'm... I'm bleeding. Everybody's forced to be a point guard with Mr. Onzelot. I am the cool and yokes of Mr. Onzelot. On. Yeah, you mean the fuck, they call me Mr. Lobo Lobo. They call me Mr. Backpack because I'm carrying it at the time. He did a lot of voices. He loved it out. He's like a Mediterranean candidate.

Starting point is 00:02:10 It's like a three-year-old. Never notice that. I'm like, maybe we'll go to the store. He's like, can we get toys? We'll get a toy. Oh, toy, you're all lovting. I don't know. I don't care for the voices. I don't care for the voices. I'm jealous of head. You don't care for the voices. I like the voice. I'm jealous of the voices. I can do with Chebacca. Why do you have a ball sack on your head? What is what Christmas is about that? I don't know, but he's coming in like the Grinch. You'll remain one.

Starting point is 00:02:35 I just know Lewis likes voices. I don't know. You can't do anything from the whoville. Yeah, I can't. Yo, what's up, man? I'm from whoville. That one. Oh, okay. Whoville the stand on a Tuesday night? I'm gonna do I'm gonna do I'm doing the whole pod I'm doing the whole pod in the style of soda go ahead give me some yo Sanford is on She Pretty good

Starting point is 00:03:01 Keith Robinson's act wait no, it's gotta be like a thing in a thing. Yeah, you do the same thing. Bobby's got a point card. No bad boy. He's a powerful. Bad friend. And a power bottom. No, we're not doing that.

Starting point is 00:03:13 We're not doing that. I just want to let you guys know. Ebenezer over here. Yeah. Ebenezer list. I'm not going to do a voice the rest of the party. Yes. Wow.

Starting point is 00:03:24 This podcast will not do well. Yeah, he's not doing any voices. Okay, you heard it here first. Ah, fuck. Yeah. Fucking hell. Yeah. I got it.

Starting point is 00:03:33 Joe, Joe but Joe is his bah humbucking. All you voices are now. I just, I let the air out of Dan's tires. He's fucked like this. Just. Hey, who let the air out of my tires? Archie Bunkers. You know what?

Starting point is 00:03:44 I don't know I hope you get that good idea you can't just say a word. Hey, I gee bugger was fun. I don't know I don't know Joe walked in with a stick up his ass. Hey you guys Look at me soda look at me. Don't let him fuck what you do. I have one stick in my butt. I come from India with a stick in my bum. It's pretty great. I'm not gonna lie. I'm starting to love myself through Joe's.

Starting point is 00:04:12 Bobby, I'm starting to get a little bit. Bobby would like a watermelon flavor ring. Why are you trying to give him edible you? Shut up, dude. Don't get drunk. Why would you do that? First of all, it's fucking natural. That close on a fucking tree, dude. That flavor ring all it's fucking natural that goes on a fucking tree to the flavoring

Starting point is 00:04:27 It grows on the fuck you willie walkie did my did I have been taking animals all day my mouth is just How many other how many milligrams you are at least a thousand can don't let him drag you down down you already did that Don't make you I know but don't let him also try to do that make you like feel like down or is it bring you up Just can be like a sedated fucking circus hand. I want to be sedated There he is that's something we're doing good. Let me have one No way I know I'm sober since you were seven 15 you fucking piece you protect our parks came out today guys Can we pay attention to each other?

Starting point is 00:05:02 Huh? Here's the head yeah? Can we listen to each other? We are. We have no headphones. Put headphones on. Uh oh. What are you saying about a group of friends that also have a podcast with the world? We think no fucks came out today, guys.

Starting point is 00:05:13 This needs to fucking, we need to have a good one. Through the roof. We gotta have a good one. Dan, I take it back. I wanna release the fat while I put on you. I love the voice. The fuck, wow? Just jealous of the voices. I wish I could do the voices.

Starting point is 00:05:27 Dan, I love your voices. I never, never not like him. I want you to know. I get it. Sometimes I find them and then I want to do it myself. They're not annoying. They're very good. And they're not on a peanut. It's pretty good. All right, everyone slow down. Everyone needs to fucking stop it. Everyone here is taking an edible and slow the fuck down right now. Shut up. It's inconceivable. That's good.

Starting point is 00:05:51 Thanks. Did you just see that for the first time? Stop it. I mean it. And everybody want a peanut. That's good. But that's like swarchenager as, whoa, Joe. It's the new version. Easy.

Starting point is 00:06:02 Here's what the new excuse to say. What the fuck is this? He really is a fucking grinch, you know? What me? No, him. You're always a kind of grinch. I got a hat on. I love Christmas.

Starting point is 00:06:11 I would say if we rank two loves Christmas the most. Oh, here we go. It was a competition with you over here. Yeah, well, you're the ugliest baby. You like Christmas the least. Yeah, we're gonna say it. It's wrong with you. Number one, dude.

Starting point is 00:06:22 I love Christmas. Fucking least Christmas spirit. The fucking world. I love that he does defend his baby. He defend his love. He does the fucking. I love my. Fucking least Christmas spirit in the fucking world. I love that he does defend his baby. He defend his baby. He does fucking, I love my baby is ugly. Who invented the Yankee swap? You did.

Starting point is 00:06:32 Chinese. You never invented Yankee swap, dude. Chinese. He invented on this party. First of all, Danny, what's it really called? A Chinese gift exchange. That's what this, no, it's not. 100%.

Starting point is 00:06:42 We're gonna do this to you a six. Shut up. It's a Chinese. It's from China. It's called the Chinese gift exchange you're letting China take Christmas from and we stole it like we stole every Here take you know I take it back wasn't me that time Let's have some of that is in the cadence of oh Give me my give back that is more accurate Rules for Chinese gift exchange. Yeah number one, you have to start a pandemic global. This is the Joe swap.

Starting point is 00:07:08 I brought this in Joe swap. That's it. You don't know you didn't bring this in. You brought in Rose fucking I brought both in Rose but Baker you brought her in. Yeah, you did you got a pregnant. Is that true? We got to whisper that.

Starting point is 00:07:22 We fucking have to cut that. Why? I told you that in confidence. I'm not cutting anything. Acting. We don't edit. You shouldn't have fucked out of school. Acting. How's that?

Starting point is 00:07:32 Great. We ain't just going to be livid. Yeah, well, what you should be doing. Hey, dude, what'd you fart at me, dude? I bet you should. We're not children, dude. After the show up. Do you remember when Eliza Schlesinger got really mad on this show because Norman, like

Starting point is 00:07:44 he was like, hey, you know what I heard? And she went, what the fuck is wrong? She was so mad and she got mad at me because he wanted a publicist up here. And I said, now, and she left early. She was more than part of the whole two hours. And she left. Norman farted right at her. Bert guest hosted an episode too.

Starting point is 00:08:00 Yeah. Bert sent me Christmas gifts. What? You get Christmas gifts? No. What? What'd you get? Damn it.

Starting point is 00:08:09 The only reason I didn't regift one of his gifts was because I assumed you also got the gifts, and then I was like, I can't regift these now. Oh, I regifted like a motherfucker, but mine comes from just for laughs. Ooh, my mind's also regifted, but mine came from a slut that I used to fuck. Yes. Mine was bought at a store. I didn't know we were regifting. came from a slut that I used to fuck. Yes.

Starting point is 00:08:25 Mine was bought at a store. I didn't know we were regifting. I bought all mine. You first owe you a fucking regift every year. I did not. I regift every year. You're an asshole. I bought all these.

Starting point is 00:08:35 You bought? I bought all of them. Yeah, I fucking bought all them. You regifted. Why you have so many gifts? Because I bought a lot of stuff. It made up to 20 bucks. For everybody.

Starting point is 00:08:43 For one fucking person. That's also not the rules It's supposed to be one gift not multiple Yeah, I could do it $20 not I'm multi-tune. No, it can be multi-tude as long as it's 20 bucks Dude let's start fresh. Let's start from the top Can't all that hey editor-on I agree can it all right dice. We're gonna go clean And also can we instead of you introducing every I know it's the way it is that's the way it's always been and that's the way it's gun the fucking thing you don't Ham Bobby and then he goes I'm Joe and he goes I'm like that. I'm the right. What a fucking itty. I'm Robert Callie the dingling Aling welcome to the regs good good shiny gift exchange edition that is not what he is called sorry call it There's another man. There's another name for it as well. I'm talking over people Yankee swap everybody the year what

Starting point is 00:09:31 White elephant will you yell at him white elephant? What's up everybody Robert Kelly Yankee swap edition on the reg I'm Louis Shagalmez. No, don't do that You are not in fucking control this your But you're trying to be in control. I'm trying to get you I've always been in control of you We started over because we were talking over each other too much. Come on. Yeah the worst. Let's go We got to beat the barbs. I'm literally taking on these denominates. You're the worst. It's dance odor and joe list No, no, no.

Starting point is 00:10:07 I don't know. I do think your ball will come on. You're fucking f**king f**king nice. I'm just gonna sit here. Nice at a date. Go to you. You're fucking 90s asshole. What do you play third base?

Starting point is 00:10:18 You're fucking first boss over here. You're Kim Kim and Eddie. Why don't you fucking relax? I was a good one. I don't dig go to? How's it going? How did they go? Take it out. He's good. Brought it back in. You know what we go?

Starting point is 00:10:29 We're going. You know what it tickles your heart. Yeah. We're locked. Welcome to the show. Welcome to the show, baby. Welcome to the show. I'm your host, Joe Lennon.

Starting point is 00:10:37 Welcome to the show, baby. I'm your host, Joe Lennon. Welcome to the show, baby. Welcome to the show, baby. Welcome to the show, baby. Welcome to the show, baby. Welcome to the show, baby. Welcome to the show, baby. Welcome to the show, baby. Welcome to the show, baby. Welcome to the show, baby. Welcome bring the swap and it is I the voice game

Starting point is 00:10:45 who brought in the swap you did me the voice game get that shirt you the voice game dude I'm the voice queen you coming in the mega powers are about to explode yeah voice bottom voice Oh, this is a hot one now Take that Why are you so obsessed why you keep trashin? I'm not trashy anybody. I like them. I talk to watch their show I talked to Shane while they're driving I called them because it was a birthday on Monday and he was in the car with Norman and Ari and he goes you guys have been saying some nasty things about us.

Starting point is 00:11:25 It really made me laugh. But in all reality, you guys have been saying some very nasty things. In reality, I'm closer with all four of them than any of you, like if we were. Fuck you, dude. Yeah. Joe Rogan's my number one best friend.

Starting point is 00:11:36 We talk every day for three hours. Yeah, what? Every morning. About what? Spirituality, hunting, stuff, capitalism. To me and Shane are like this. This is me the shane This joke rogans over here You are not drugs you would realize that that's not that great

Starting point is 00:11:53 What's great? It's a little fun guy. I actually like this great dude. Give me a panel of trophies I don't know right maybe it is great. I really like one of you Thank you Bobby all right all right Fuck Mary kill me Joe Dan. Oh, this is a good way to get things off What do you good way dude fuck by the way? Dundee your head dog it's done. It's done already that easy Can I just say before you say anything? I'm excited to spend the rest of our life together You be the shit I'm like, I'm fucking the shit.

Starting point is 00:12:27 I'm back in a mess. I see your wet ass. I'm so good to do. I'm bouncing it up and down. You're gonna do this? I'm not gonna feed you. Every morning. He's not gonna fuck you one time. What's the rest of his life?

Starting point is 00:12:38 I'm not fucking you. And I'm not gonna listen to your movie reviews. Every morning, you're like, you want to have breakfast? He's gonna be like, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, crrrr, you're like, you want to have breakfast? He's gonna be like, scramble eggs. That's sick. Yeah, and I love it. You'll make me laugh. It sounds like a war on his hand. Bobby's gonna come out and go, dance. So who cooked me eggs today? I'm like, it's Jason Stifermakes. I love it. Just the way you like it. I love it. Well, get me juice. Oh the top what kind of juice do you Yeah, what do you got? Yeah, what do you know meditation and gratitude? Cool you want to go sleep at your friends house. You doesn't have good cereal. You'd imagine being married to Joe Fucking have Ron Holy wet blanket you got a beef with Ron on yeah, yeah, everyone comes over Sunday

Starting point is 00:13:24 I have 10 12 people over every Sunday. Yeah, why not? Yeah, 10 to 12 boring douchebag. You've never invited me once to your place, aren't you? I've never been invited either. No, I've never been invited. You're a bad friend. I've gone over there.

Starting point is 00:13:34 It's all right. Queen's nice guys only. Sorry. Nice guys only. You don't qualify for either. Okay. Good. Yeah, I don't wanna be a nice guy.

Starting point is 00:13:41 You know what's funny though? He's knowing that Lewis did take a little bit of personal personal responsibility. No, no, no, no. Because the way he reacting is good. No, I don't want to be a nice guy. You know it's funny though. He's knowing that Lewis did take a little bit of personal No, I don't know. I don't know. You're acting as good. No, I do I do I'm friends of them Never a fucking invite not one of us every week I invite you to the park you still shit on the fucking party. Yeah, it was a great party and Why do you y'all were out of my wedding and you were involved in it? You were in I love the wedding And I thought that the wedding would might get me an invite to one of the No, back foot. What? No. Yeah, you've done a roll over and my birthday you were always invited and you I'd never got invited. No, I know

Starting point is 00:14:15 I Will someday Well, you're death, but you're gonna think about Bobby saying that we actually did have a death We should you guys know the guy up. Yeah, Ken us, too, is great. I was kind of sad. That was very sad. Yeah, you know, I remember that guy. I did know him. You didn't know him shut up. I did Can he know Kenny's dog. He never he came over. Yeah, he's you're gonna lie about a man that just passed away when I did live from the Shad help me set that up. Is that true? I came up with the idea if you're lying about that. That's bad. You do you do Is that true came up with the idea if you're lying about that that's bad juju dude. You say juju to juice Wow Hey I'm doing them. Why would you lie?

Starting point is 00:14:53 Why did you lie? Piece of shit I don't know somebody killed Kenny put the South part picture up already dead. He's a piece of shit All right, well, all right. He can't be deforested. Yeah, God bless. Oh, he did. He's a piece of shit. Yeah. That's fun. All right. Well, RP candy deforest. Yeah. God bless. Oh, we do have to do rose thord seed today too. Yeah. That's part of it. We know you. Well, my, my seed is now candy deforest death. Oh, it's gonna plant something good. Yeah. I'm just fucking hoping some good shit comes out of it now. Yeah. What dude? If you don't laugh, then everyone's gonna think I really, uh, I don't care actually.

Starting point is 00:15:27 Good, good, good, good, good, good. Hey, you know what, you know what, you know what, can I tell you dude, I almost fucking donated to this fucking girl for me yesterday. Could you imagine? Give me the fucking money back. Did you get your money back? I don't know.

Starting point is 00:15:39 I gotta wait for the money back. Dude, that's crazy. Let the certificate drop and that'll go ask. But they need the money for the funeral. No, that's a different only fans or whatever it is. Only fanchip. Go back. Yeah, we're gonna take we're gonna probably sneak a dead body.

Starting point is 00:15:52 You sell pictures. He's actually a few rules. Now they have like dudes sitting down playing PlayStation. Yeah, what are you putting in funeral? Puerto Rican dudes and black dudes, they'll be like playing PlayStation. Yeah, but that's not a lot of it's just their body. just their body and they just having their walks behind like I love you. Are you gonna have a funeral dinner you'd be cremated? Both you can do both do they have a gamutag up underneath them. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do

Starting point is 00:16:14 I want that I want to I want one of those funerals where they where they make me stand up I'll be doing stand up The voices you do behind you. And you could pick it. You'd be like, and then a computer will put a speaker in my mouth. Hello. Hello, like one of those animatronic bears, a little speaker in my mouth. And then you can be like, oh yeah, or you can be like, our rubber. It would be fun. I want people to be able to beat up my body. That's fun. You get to like just to fuck me up. It's not a thing. And there's still be sandbags.

Starting point is 00:16:48 Who those fucks in my back, like those fucking fucking Kim Congdon's doing moitai. Yeah. Neat. Hell, though. I just bite your nose. That'd be fun as hell. That's a great idea.

Starting point is 00:16:59 It's like a street fighter bonus level, but it's my body. And you just go like, I'm gonna go pay my respects But then we have candy come out like a Mexican pin you know, yeah, oh, to your old fluid. It's rules come out your butt No weed candies. Don't be that way Bumming me out for it. It's America's Miss Holiday, dude. I thought you were a little flat and I was blaming the wee, but then you had a good one. Maybe you're just, I'm always fucking fun.

Starting point is 00:17:31 All right, maybe you're just warming up. I missed judge. Your girl's flat. Wow. I don't get it. She has no boobs. They're flat. No, that's not the case.

Starting point is 00:17:40 Yeah, she just had a baby, which means there's, there's probably Robovey. Heavy tits, right? Yeah, that's a nice, Christ. Is's probably Robo. Heavy tits around it. Yeah, nice. Is she breastfeeding? Anyway, we don't need to talk about what my wife does. Don't drink.

Starting point is 00:17:50 His wife's milk drink. You are a fucking animal. You're a fucking nasty animal. Soma! Don't let him smell your wife menstruating. He'll go insane. What is it? New sweatshirt? Everyone, this mind's a little, it got jizz on go insane. What is it, new sweatshirt?

Starting point is 00:18:05 Night, everyone, this mine's a little, it got jizz on it, but you guys all have new sweatshirts. Yeah, you guys both have dirty sweatshirts on. Yours looks the nicest. I think I sweatshirt. Yours is nice. Mine was a, Nike is a fucking scumbag, fucking Jew bastard dude.

Starting point is 00:18:17 It's like a $90 sweatshirt. It's a hoodie. It's a hoodie. It's a hoodie. I said like Bobby. Why, why, why is it, why are you saying it's a Jew? I'm hot and it's hoodie. He's very pro palestine, you know that.

Starting point is 00:18:27 Yeah dude, sorry dude. So what are you fucking Zionist? Maybe. That's the Jews. You don't like that. I hate that. I mean, I came in here in Zionist. Dude, that's so funny.

Starting point is 00:18:37 I love that you just grabbed turns from the news. Zion. What are you guys? I believe in Zion. I always wanted to like, is Bob Marley singing about Israel? What's going on there? Yeah, is he you guys? I believe in Zion. I always wanted like is Bob Marley singing about Israel Yeah, is he into is he into Jewish supremacy? Yeah, do they bump Bob Marley and Israel and mandajus big kick at us They're like I'm iron like a lion in Zion I'm iron like a lion in Zion

Starting point is 00:19:02 Hey, he really sets him up good. I was going more for I know you wanted to make it But I didn't do making doing Jewish tropes. Oh, that's fun. He's like more fun. Yeah, man to be nine lights Bye We set up one down Christmas we get eight crazy nights. I tell you right now. I'm the real chosen one I'm man. I kept on the receipt. Yeah. We are going to be the real twig tribes. Easy, I am.

Starting point is 00:19:31 Lewis wants to do voices so bad. I wish I could, dude. I would be famous. I live here for him. If I could live through, I would be famous. I have all these ideas in my head. And as soon as it comes out of my mouth, I'm like, shit. I think you should try one.

Starting point is 00:19:43 Try one. That even just the voice is everything, dude. But in here, it's all fucking wildly good. Who's goes absolute? Do as an Asian girl, go. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. That's the story.

Starting point is 00:19:54 That from the 50s. Jesus Christ. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, hey, Mickey Rooney, what the fuck? Yeah, what are you, Jerry Lewis? Sweet as Christ. Christ on a rock top. You have Christ by the way. Jesus Christ. I thought a... Christ on a rock top. You have Christ on it.

Starting point is 00:20:06 Yeah, Christ on it. I thought the same thing, those are spectacular. Yeah, you do, spectacular. They look like fake Chinese tea. No, they're not great there, dude. I have fucking issues. What do you mean? I've had two root canals on the one side of my mouth. No, they look good. You got nice... I know, but it's just because I fucking, it's all smoking mirrors.

Starting point is 00:20:20 Did you get in there, dude? They shut... That's too much. Dude, they have fucking like, like cameras now. Have they done this to you? Have you seen like, say this or about this? Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:20:29 I don't see this here but that's pretty crazy. I was just asking if we've heard of cameras. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not what I'm saying. They could take a picture. I'm sure. A dentist is new to him.

Starting point is 00:20:38 No, it's dentist. No, dentist cameras are crazy to do. They have these little, it's like on the tip of a pen and they put in your mouth and then they show you what like in between your teeth looks like. I don't want to see that. You don't. These little, it's like on the tip of a pen and they're putting your mouth and then they show you what like in between your teeth looks like. I want to see that.

Starting point is 00:20:47 You don't. If you flush it. No, no, I flush. I'll water. I flush. I water pick. I brush with an electric toothbrush. I use fucking special to do the amount of shit that I do to my teeth.

Starting point is 00:20:57 It's crazy. It's crazy. And then they show me and it looks like they're shit leaking in between my gums. If you look close in there, it's fucking bonkers, dude. It's bonkers. Is that like a Puerto Rican thing? Yeah, they're known to have soft teeth. They have dirty gums. I've got soft teeth. That's very good. That gums leak. Licky gums, dude. Licky, that's a pretty good. We're called San Juan Gums. You got San Juan Gums, be that way. Do you be that way?

Starting point is 00:21:29 I'll be that way. What am I doing for James for his 11th birthday? What are we doing? Why is his birthday? 29th, 29th, yeah. December. Thank you. I called Joe.

Starting point is 00:21:38 Thanks. Joe's a good friend. We should take him to that. We're gonna take him skiing. I was gonna take him skiing and he was gonna have him invite a couple friends. Skying like jerky both off. We should take him to that snow tube in place. Up in that.

Starting point is 00:21:53 Snow tube might be better than skiing. Up in the where I, up in my ribs. You broke your ribs. Yeah. Take him up there. I might have coupons, but we give. You should have a lawsuit. I could have got a lot.

Starting point is 00:22:03 You know I knew they knew they fucked up because they came the next day when they saw our fat I was with around $300 worth of treats. Which, from a baker, a little baker. Yeah, in a down trail like hustle and gruddle. It was a wooden basket, like a custom wooden basket. Yeah. I think I'm sorry we let you break yourself, fatso.

Starting point is 00:22:20 Like, sir, here you go. Sign this right here, you can have this basket of food. And then, but Bobby floated into the room. You was it, is it the place that used to be six flags? No, it's the place that used to be Adventure Park. They did that documentary. Six flags. Wait, no, that's all right. I'm sorry. Great. That's what I actually meant. The one in Jersey. That's six flags. Action Park.

Starting point is 00:22:42 Scott touching Park. How familiar? Shit. Action Park. Action park action park. Yeah, yeah Class action park was a great loss. We're great Documentary but the lawsuits at action park. They made these rides back in the day when there was no rules rules But people would just they didn't do physics. Yeah, I heard they get the guy the guy who owned action park was like a dude like me Yeah, he was like a dude like me. Yeah. He was like the poor, the real snake of like fucking, like he, did he fucking, he was like dude, I'm gonna all the way.

Starting point is 00:23:07 This might be, your seed might be that you're gonna start your own. Dude, that's what I wanted to be. I wanted to own a shady act, I wanted to own a shady and amusement park when I was a kid. You own a shady network. That was it.

Starting point is 00:23:17 Dude, none of the rides were gonna work. It was gonna be a whole to do. But this guy straight up said, dude, I wanna have my, and he was like, I have this idea, but he had no engineering experience. He was just some dude. So he was like, dude, he was like,

Starting point is 00:23:29 this next one's gonna be a fucking, it's gonna be a water slide, and you're gonna do a full loop, and that's gonna be that, but that's impossible. The loop wasn't big enough, so people got stuck like, they said they found a truth in the loop.

Starting point is 00:23:40 Yeah, no, no, no, no. Where was the tooth found? They found the two. Under the pillow. No, they found a tooth and another embedded in another person's leg. That went down the thing after a person fucking broke their face on it. And the teeth got fucking embedded in their leg. I was at bush gardens with, with us, when we were at bush gardens. And I was, I was, I was, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm finding out right now. I'm with Kim and the were push gardens. And I was, push gardens with Kim. I went when we were, am I finding out right now? I went with Kim in the mom.

Starting point is 00:24:07 Yeah. Remember? Was it push gardens? You were with that shit fucking asshole. Probably was Kim stepped out for a year. I would love to be. Okay. So when, when I went through the thing

Starting point is 00:24:17 and I was too fat and there wasn't enough water and I stopped, I was stuck in the juke. Did you make the squeaking noise? Dude, I just remember looking up and there was 15 feet and I had the scoosh. Oh no. And I heard Max go, where's my dad?

Starting point is 00:24:30 Oh no. And I was going, I'm coming. I scoached out. Did you think when you were going down, they just sort of swoosh. And they're like, Bobby? Dad, dad. Just dad is too.

Starting point is 00:24:41 Just water bottle. Yeah, I want to go on my phone. I'm going to go on my phone. But I want to go. She's about this episode is brought to you by Zippix nicotine toothpicks. Zippix brings you a totally satisfying, convenient and great tasting way to curb your nicotine craving. Yeah, I'll tell you right now. I've used these before. I was just messing around.

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Starting point is 00:26:27 your lungs will be glad you did. So right now, my... Good one. Listen, I want to get into the fun part. What's the fun part? Must be 21-odd-older-older-ordered. Warning, nicotine is an addictive chemical. Zip more smoke less with zippex.

Starting point is 00:26:39 Nicotine toothpicks. And you have a small mouth. That's why you can do it so fast. Yeah, and I can use your dick as a toothpick. Wow. And then my wife can suck it. All right. All right. Where are we? Dude, I fucking know when I went skiing at that place that used to be action park. Stop touching. What do you mean? I saw for it. Because it feels too good. I'm down. Stop it. What do you mean asshole for it? Because it feels too good. I'm down.

Starting point is 00:27:03 Stop it. Lewis is sorry. He thinks it's ahead of a dick. So the whole place, the whole place is all like, it's all run by like teenagers. You can't touch me. Go ahead. Listen, it's all run by teenagers still.

Starting point is 00:27:15 Right, like all the people who work there, so you go there and it's just a dumb fucking kid. Oh, I don't know, sir. So Lewis is just barking at a kid. He's like, yeah, sure. Well, I had to buy a gator at it, Gator. He's like, sure. Well, I had to buy a Gator for James. You know, and I'm like,

Starting point is 00:27:28 an alligator? An alligator, dude. You know what a Gator is? It's like a thing goes around your neck. It's like, you know, almost like a scarf, but it can go above your face, goes around your neck. Had to buy him one, right? And I was like, it had the, you know,

Starting point is 00:27:40 the tag attached to his cell. So I go over to the girl and I was like, hey, do you got a pair of scissors? It's like, it's just a dumb blonde, six-year-old girl. She's like, no, but I have this knife. And she pulled, like literally, it's just like a fucking, like, we see a Australian movie,

Starting point is 00:27:53 fuck her all the day. It's like a crush on a dog. Like, that's not a knife. This is a knife, fine. It is a huge knife. And then I was like, okay, and I do this. And as it's happening, I see her coming at me. I was like, this is definitely this. And as it's happening, I see who coming at me, I was like, this is definitely good at me.

Starting point is 00:28:06 And then she goes, it just slices my hand. I'm like, ah, it's bleeding everywhere. She's caught you. She's caught me with the knife, this stupid bitch. Then Lewis is like, dad, I'm coming. Yeah. I'm sorry, I just have my parents not me to do the Puerto Ricans. Oh yeah, and then I just want to go skiing.

Starting point is 00:28:23 It's like, I'm just not the, I'm not gonna ruin my day. Because you got to have to to sue. No, most fucking white people. J's, most white people would fucking, uh, happy on a, they would, they would call the fucking ambulance and like, no, I got to leave right now. But I'm looking at, I'm like, whatever I'm going to make from this lawsuit is not worth the fucking headache of me having to leave right now Not ski with my son do all this other shit, but I can't a suit. There's no way this bitch could be so glad to just stab me Yaman you've got to sue That's good income

Starting point is 00:28:55 Call back What do you think of the honest Sessan El business? You guys don't know business what's that you guys don't know the guy business was the Spanish kids name oh Hello, they took that's it. No, they didn't that's it. They did a bit. They did a bit They did a bit called that's it and he took it and he actually said to him Hey, man, I do this and he said something back like yeah, I know but I had something similar

Starting point is 00:29:22 But the post picked it up today. There's gonna be a thing in the post about. Sorry, yeah, the post thing is up. Oh is it up? You gonna steal my bit, that's it. I mean that, I mean, Janus. He was famous for it. It's a thing. Janus used it but is, I know one of this all the time because I saw there's a barber shop

Starting point is 00:29:39 next to my gym, Equinox, Lewis's band and it's called DASIT and I'm like is this based on. 100%. I think so. Yeah, nothing. Or was that a thing before? Yeah, I don't know. I think it might be. No, I think he made up that's it. What?

Starting point is 00:29:53 Did he make up that? I think I don't think he made it up, but he made it popular because I've been in New York for 25 years. I've never heard that's it except for him. That's it. Look at that. That's what a Puerto Rican people are.

Starting point is 00:30:04 I'm from New York. I've never heard that's it before, Janice. Dasts it. Look up. That's the portal we can be on. I'm from New York. I never heard Dasts it before, you honest. He did YouTube content before anybody. He was doing that shit and that video that you guys were all in. That was 100% What was he doing? He did it before anybody. You fucking know.

Starting point is 00:30:20 Yeah, that's the first one. I meant out of us. He was the first guy. He's so fucking combatant. Well, you're combatant. Guys, that's the worst dude. Because you were meant out of us. He was the first guy. Oh, he's so fucking combatant. Well, you're combatant guys I'm gonna work because you were combatant for it. Combatants not the words. I was a word a combatant when I was your Fuck your fucking negative Nelly Whoa, yeah, I said I don't give a fuck man. He's a fucking negative now. We've a dirty

Starting point is 00:30:38 Whoa when I was when I worked at those communities. Yes, and that video came out, there was this gay Puerto Rican dude I worked with, William, who was awesome. And I was at, we were all typing in an order and I went, that's it! And he goes, oh my God, I love her! And I was like, that's my friend, Yannis! And he goes, huh? That's how Greek guy! That thing was massive. It was massive. It was huge. It was huge. It was hard to be part of. I got recognized from it. That was it. What Marcelo say about it? We got to see this. When he did that video and I saw that I was like this is the greatest fucking I didn't know the comics could actually make their own content like yeah Yeah, like a video and we were all we were all like shit

Starting point is 00:31:14 This is gonna fucking blow up and won't get annoying after two or three But Yeah, I'm way from completely this is the video. Let's see. I gotta say tiny as bag S&L All right, go back. Let's see I gotta say Tony has bag S&L. All right, go back. Let's see I will be the judge Me too. I think we will be the judge with you. I will personally be the judge No, you guys can be co-judges. You're will be judges, but I'm like the judge and you guys can be like the judges who Give me like I'll be the bail. This is a supreme court situation. No, I'm the judge

Starting point is 00:31:43 No, you guys are like my situation. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Poco shut up for five minutes. He had to pogo. Ha ha ha. There he is. You got to work. I play it. No, don't do it. Roll the tape. I don't hear. Why are we not hearing it? Why is it not in the hay phones?

Starting point is 00:32:18 Pause it. I can still hear it though. That's it. You're making our headphones. He's gonna. But this sketch, I mean, I watched the sketch, the punch line is, they say, that's it, over and over again. Oh my job. Spoiler alert, dickhead. You guilt. And it is like a

Starting point is 00:32:37 enough feminine man, saying that's it. It's not a, it's not a Puerto Rican transgendered. No, from the low. But he's a stand up comic. The people in the writers all know that. Everyone knows him. But he's a kid and that's it. He's a little while ago. I'm just making all the things.

Starting point is 00:32:54 He come on, no, the whole staff is a bunch of writers. The head writer, Michael Chayne knows that fucking the Michael Chayne knows. Michael Chayne knows that very well. It's just so crazy shit shit when Kanye came out with the Life of Pablo. There's a song on there called It's the first song. It's called mr. Ponyus But there's a song on there where a kid goes that's it and like he sent it to yana's being like dude

Starting point is 00:33:21 This is on Kanye's so you know, Jay knows it.. Yeah. Go ahead. Everybody knows you ready? Everybody knows Some coffee and some missile too You guys never hit play before Now I don't even hear it. No volume at all. That's cool before I heard it By the way, this is not the gas digital producers. This is the This is the gas. It is right there. This is the ass digital. Not only can you start cracking the whip on these retort as well. It's right there. She's right there.

Starting point is 00:33:49 You can't Joe. Yeah. Good one. Thank you. You can't say cracked the web. I mean, that's bad. That's the. That's exactly what it is. You just nailed the sketch. And they do that for two minutes. It's just very low now in my head. And they do that for two minutes. It's just very low now in my head. Like extremely low. Oh, here it is. Here it comes.

Starting point is 00:34:09 And we're here to tell you that right now, tiny is huge. Tiny ass bag is perfect for carrying one air-bott and a sir. One outfit and a sir. That's it. That's it. A cigarette and a sir. Oh, this is, this is it. That's it. Oh, this is it. Looking for a damn devil. Go to Walmart.

Starting point is 00:34:30 Pig. This is Thai-ass bag, now available in medium. In this bag, you could fit one tongue and a sir. The kids from honey, I sprung the kids and that's it. I Mean I would be upset if I was honest shit is even how to do it good. Yeah, it's also just not very good This is it's just not good. Yeah, well damn. So what did y'all does the you know y'all stuff. Yonis was pretty hungry. He actually said something back.

Starting point is 00:35:05 He had to put fucking makeup on to respond. Oh, get my wig. It's response time. I told him he should go on as Maricia and respond to it as Maricia as a clip. And that would go viral for him. I don't even think it would. I don't think people give a fucking enough about this.

Starting point is 00:35:21 Well, the post is about to put something out. So that's it. That's it. Yes. Oh asked chat GBT or he posted someone from chat GBT that said, yes, you're correct. Janus pop is popularized the catchphrase. That's it. Through his community character, Mauricea, the phrase became associated with the character and gained recognition as part of the Janus pop is this comedic work. Can I say it? Can I say? Go ahead. Yeah. Um, it's literally just a net positive for Yannis right now. Yeah. Who the fuck cares? Honestly, I've been an old character from 15 years ago, right? But no, like honestly, now everyone's talking about it. Honestly, let's be honest. And he, he's just going to get a bunch of people talking about him about

Starting point is 00:36:00 how he's, he's being ripped off. There's no negative people ripping shit off lately. Sure, but there's nothing negative for Yannis. And here's the thing, if he had a sketch that was unpopular, that they made, that they went and did and they made a popular that he'd be like, fuck dude, like they took my idea. I know they stole my ass. He was a lot of people borrowing now. But he's on the point of what he got.

Starting point is 00:36:19 Let's get to the point. Why'd you look at me? Yeah, what do you do? Jonas is boring. I don't know. I'm just saying that there's a lot of people out there barring shit and it's getting in it's getting to where name the names girl. Nobody's saying anything because this including you. He's right. You guys know who? No, we don't.

Starting point is 00:36:38 I don't know. We're not. What's weird about you? Text us so we can get it the same. Text the threat. Shoot a text so we know I'll make noise you can't hear what he's saying What I didn't what he's that's about you. I don't know what what but dude. I want to know that's not it That's not it. Come on text. That's it hit us Bobby. We won't say it. Well, Lewis probably will say it But we'll be sure yeah, for sure. Yeah, 100% Anyways, come on now. It's killing me. It's not a big thing that people are stealing fucking sketches It's hard that they're stealing because you don't know if you stole it or a writer came up with it You know and the like other things like who's pointing the finger? It's pretty

Starting point is 00:37:20 Yeah, it feels like the finger pointing fury in the New York comedy circuit nobody is being taken care New York glasses shaken by allegations read that people cannot stop choosing Your comedy is shaken and none of you had heard of it. Well nobody cares Yeah, that a Saturday night live cast member lifted a catchphrase from a veteran member of the city's club circuit You guys know club circuit page six is told there's been a fear flurry of angry messages in finger pointing between comics cast members and other members of the SNL team the alleged blatant ripoff SNL featured player more Marcelo Hernandez played a flamboyant his spirit hispanic character in a skit on last Saturday's

Starting point is 00:37:59 show with guest Adam driver Olivia Rodrigo the punchline was the character repeating the phrase that's it many times. The problem is that Brooklyn comic, Yannis Papis is doing things. Yannis! Yannis! Yannis! It's been, you're just saying just real quick. Imagine like aliens came down to Earth for a second and they just watched this.

Starting point is 00:38:16 Like are you guys are gay? Like the sun's sitting, wow! This is gayer than men having sex. This is real news, Do you actually what? Real it's exciting. It's clickbait. It's fun. But yeah, Janice is the man Marcelo's a nice guy Marcelo's very funny. I don't even know that Marcelo wrote it wrote it or when they just do what they do He did write it. He did write it. He wrote it with the yeah, he came up with it, but it's a thing I Think his defense was this is what Puerto Rican say that's

Starting point is 00:38:45 it. I don't know any Puerto Rican to say that's it. As our resident. He's from Miami. It's a different type. It's a better Spanish. There's no so no Puerto Rican's in Miami. It's Cuban, but they said that's cool. Gooba. Gooba. Can you just Google the origin of the phrase that that's it? Hey, I just told us. Yeah, no, no, they said Janus popularize it. That's on the origin. Yeah, this pop is you know, I Hey folks That's the national sketch it was on two weeks ago They go was ah yeah, they all say that no, what it's a little commercial. Are you kidding? No, that was on SNL like two weeks ago

Starting point is 00:39:22 Are you kidding? No, that was on SNL like two weeks ago. Are you serious? And they said Budweiser, but on order. Why? They're frogs. That commercial was huge. The commercials were huge for like late 90s, just commercials were real real men of genius. Love them. We are men of genius. I miss the Bud Ice Puck penguin. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, dude. Yeah, that was fun. The commercials were fucking great, dude. Now, the internet's killed it all.

Starting point is 00:39:47 Now they're two like internet killed the commercials. Whoa! Oh, cat boomer. If you got a, if you got like a super bowl commercial, that was like 100G. I got paid, I got paid $65,000 to be part of a Hyundai. Hyundai Hyundai super volks Japanese

Starting point is 00:40:06 So much money because if they win You play the summa wrestler Yeah, there's him versus a car If they win it's a real test Of other more P.E.R. In January We have a call

Starting point is 00:40:21 It's a rubber carry versus the biggest American we can face. He wants to do the voice so bad. He wants to do the voice so bad. He wants to do the voice so bad. He wants to do the voice so bad. He wants to do the voice so bad. He wants to do the voice so bad. He wants to do the voice so bad.

Starting point is 00:40:34 He wants to do the voice so bad. He wants to do the voice so bad. He wants to do the voice so bad. He wants to do the voice so bad. He wants to do the voice so bad. He wants to do the voice so bad. He wants to do the voice so bad. He wants to do the voice so bad. He wants to do the voice so bad.

Starting point is 00:40:42 He wants to do the voice so bad. He wants to do the voice so bad. He wants to do the voice so bad. He wants to do the voice so bad. He wants to do the voice so bad. He wants to do the voice so bad. He wants to do the voice so bad. who wins number one Super Bowl commercial and that's a huge deal for all these well, that was a Doritos thing for a while. Right. But the comics got in Super Bowl commercials. I did that. I did that. That's super cool.

Starting point is 00:40:52 Because they were like submitting funny. Yeah. There's a whole undercurrent. I think John was like living. Yeah, I think John has went far in one of these. Are you fucking, can you listen for a fucking second? I was so, I mean, I was talking about something here in the mood a mood. It's your mood tonight. It's fine. It's the holiday.

Starting point is 00:41:06 You're stressed. You're talk over. You don't listen. No, no, no, no. You talk to him over a little bit. You're talking a lot of line yourself. I'm just saying. I don't mean to be a dick.

Starting point is 00:41:14 I'm just saying. You talk over a little. Yeah. You've been away a long time. They didn't come down there and tell you, Bobby. He was talking. You're talking. You go fuck and get your shine box.

Starting point is 00:41:23 That's the worst Christmas song ever. It's the best. You there and tell you Bobby who's talking. You're talking. But you go fucking get your shine box. A wonderful Christmas. That's the worst Christmas song ever. It's the best one ever. Let's get into this. No, the worst one ever is there's a Hurt or Britney Spears Christmas song the other day. It was fucking retarded. It made me angry. This bit's tried to like make a pop song like a Britney like a hit.

Starting point is 00:41:42 Mariah. They tried to do it Mariah did, but it sucked. Mariah, you're on fire. Let's pick I wear. Right now, sheath underwear.com, look, right here. Sheath underwear. I want some, I mean, so comfortable. The quality is amazing. Love it.

Starting point is 00:42:13 Moisture wicking, because I get hot. You wet, dude. You wet. I get hot, my balls get hot. You can say, I get hot cold. I get hot. I get wet. I get wet.

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Starting point is 00:42:43 Let me know, maybe these people. Yeah, awesome. Yeah. And they were invented by Robert Patton, US Army veteran, I rack veteran fan of the show, fan of ours. He's always a skankfest. You always see him, nice guy. You're supporting America.

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Starting point is 00:43:10 They they formed your body you look great. It's great. Tundered different styles always coming out with new styles as well I love the colors red they got red So go check out sheath underwear dot com. I need some of them Colorado joints. Whoa the underwear of legends No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, for 20% off. What a great gift. Get these for yourself for Christmas. Get them for your man, your friends. Oh, they got female shit too. They have a lot of time. Bottom baby wear them. All right. Where were we? All right. You ready? Yep. Everybody. Now the Natalie, you got your thing in here?

Starting point is 00:43:56 Natalie, you got it. Did you do a present? You got you fucking thing. Yeah. Did you put your number in here? First of all, let me say this. What? You're not even supposed to see who got what president Are you no no you got a she's got to put a number in here. She didn't know I'm a number. She had the table Oh, you did okay, so everyone everyone should have their Presence in already right presence. Yes, everybody's got their presence. Yeah All right, you ready who's going first? I always go first. Okay. Oh,

Starting point is 00:44:25 Oh, I meant I don't want to go first. Okay. Go ahead. I made that up. I'm sorry. Lewis first. Go ahead. Where do you get? I'm gonna go first. That Lewis going. Then I'll go. What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? You want to do the best. What is the best? Two is the worst. I thought the best. Two is the worst. The second best is the last number. Yeah, exactly. Why is one the best? Because at the end, one gets to suck everyone's coffee. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:44:49 Come on, get the fuck out of here. Come swap, pick the number. Because I'm feeling ones that are pushed down in there and I'm thinking there was some cheating, fucking going on. No cheating, and some blood, and some cheating, and some blood. Take a fucking knife. Here it is.

Starting point is 00:45:01 Remember Pat Dixon's old joke? Go ahead. Look how quick he does it. Bang, he's out. He's's in he's out. Fuck off Ha ha Lewis got to don't reveal how many people are here? You got what you got four. How many no it loads no You know it's got four. I'm gonna go whatever you want to do. Oh, okay This fucking whole thing is so fucking Why do we do this all the time?

Starting point is 00:45:22 So fucking you got three. Why do we do this all the just gonna put it? Let's bring a fucking bring your gift. And then you know one of these fuckish bags gonna get one you guys. Fuck you guys. I'm the producers always been part of it. Yes. Yes.

Starting point is 00:45:34 There they they shouldn't be this many. Yes. What have a shut up? Half these people don't celebrate Christmas. If you know what I mean, none of them do. Bobby's coming at me tonight left the bright. I'm not he is. He is coming at me.

Starting point is 00:45:44 He is. I don't see it. I'm gonna be I'm gonna be honest. I don't, though. Bobby's coming at me tonight, left him right. I'm not. He is. He is coming at me, right? He is. I don't see it. I'm gonna be honest. I don't see it. I'm not. He's telling you to shut up. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:45:51 You're touching him a little bit. Yeah. You're a little while lying yourself. All right, ready? Are we good? Everyone has the number? All right. To hide their numbers.

Starting point is 00:46:00 We're meant to believe they did. Okay, you ready? Saying people walk in single file to hide their numbers You're number one no, but let's go who's got number one. This is gonna suddenly got number one. Yeah New bitch on the block Why did you want number one because you don't deserve the best gift here? What what do you pick now? Listen these are all mine. These are all now that you're not a play whichever gift she knows I hope it's nail polish She did this with her gender

Starting point is 00:46:29 Which which one I hope it I hope it's a new sweater She's like she's like I don't want to have a gender which one do you want? God damn right you do bitch. She knows I always have best gift Natalie is not Mike. So she picked Lewis's gift Which she opened it now? Yeah, she's no, yes, of course you do baby. It's Christmas Well, that would be interesting if we stop breathing on Natalie. I see what you're doing you freak Yeah, you lose a you freak what movie anybody rocky. No Forrest cub. Oh, it's a tent falls. I lose a you freak. It says on the front so mean. Oh, it's built It's an alarm clock with a hidden camera in it

Starting point is 00:47:05 Wow For who got you that hit him camera, right? So you're freaking creepy What the fuck? Yeah, yeah, I was so check this out. All right, you didn't buy that You let me tell you let me tell you what happened. I had a I had a girl who was like a freak Yeah, she was like, yeah, you should fuck other chicks and secretly videotape them and then send me the videos if you fucking them. Wow. And I was like, yeah.

Starting point is 00:47:29 I'm gonna die. I was like, that's awesome. And I never did it. I was like, that's a crime. I never did it. But I've had this clock for like two or three years. Do you think she's gonna set you up? No.

Starting point is 00:47:42 She was a freak. Answer the question, have you ever done it? No, I've never used to ever been used to never set up never been kissed you could see it's a brand new all right who's next Natalie no one affected by it all right we got him next daddy Braf daddy boy wonderful you got these these are all not from me okay you know Bobby we want to open five gifts You're simply having made a word. Dan Braff has a green box the green box green It's the same thing but thicker. Oh, I sure know who's gift is this cards against humanity from Natalie

Starting point is 00:48:17 It's a slimming machine hold on to it. What what is it? What does that mean show us nothing? I called them fat guy. I got it. So you're like supposed to rub it on your tummy? What is it? Alright ultrasonic slimming machine. It's in Asian. Dan you want to read that? It's it. Oh, yes ultrasonic streaming machine That's Japanese it's Chinese I was pretty close Lewis is getting higher

Starting point is 00:48:48 Yeah, what are you doing dude? What are you, you're just eating 100 milligram ropes? I don't know Like it's nothing He's ate in 400 milligrams while on the show Just by comparison If I take 30 milligrams I get scared You know what I saw today when Jay did dabs

Starting point is 00:49:05 and he fucking passed out on our skecks? That was scary shit. That was really scary. That was a great moment on skecks. We were celebrating Jay's birthday and he like earnestly was like, now that I might be in the second half of my life and then Lewis was like,

Starting point is 00:49:20 you're 46, you smoke back in second half of your day. And Lewis got, I mean, Jay had a moment where he's like, maybe I'm in the finals. I'm very funny. Funny show. Who's three? And look at it. Can we have Danny, will you Google that and say out loud

Starting point is 00:49:35 with that? I have no idea what a slimming machine is. I'm three. I think I'm a slimmer. I'm three. Now do they? They don't know how it works because they're apparently. You can change Danny.

Starting point is 00:49:43 Yeah, do you want the camera? You can take her gift. You can see her. Can I just say the secret camera is crazy? Can I say Joe as a parent? That's a great little spy thing. Yeah. What's spy thing? My spy. You're a spy on your baby. Yeah. You spy on your baby. Or you see, make sure it's not doing nothing weird. sure you can trust this baby for the Year's with this baby. What are you picking you want you want mine? I want yours. That's whiskey though. I want you know Yeah, you do it's a non-surgical method of reducing cellulite. Oh, okay Good fucking I needed this for max. Well, you got one dog. You may need it, but you may not get it. An auntie. What is it? A puzzle? Dude, I want this. Well, you know, the main quest to that's an old as I feel these. That's a brand new one. That was

Starting point is 00:50:32 new. It's number two. Show it off. Fine. It's a Oculus 2. This one does it. I don't think that's a man. It works with this one. It does. It's giving away old promotional gifts. Never said no. No, this still works with it. I mean, it's Oculus 3 now. Never said no. No, this still works with it. I mean, Zockula's three now. Okay, cool. It's a lot of crime. That's not Oculus.

Starting point is 00:50:51 That's a meta quest. So that's what meta. It's probably looking up. I'm just saying. You should probably say the right thing if you're gonna. Oculus. You're gonna shit on my gift, you might as well say. I did shit on it.

Starting point is 00:51:00 He's shit on it. I love it. I'm just saying, I do. I actually do need a new jerk off portal. And this is my mind Oh, what is this secret holy people? I'm gonna fuck you. Hey you. Hey little girl over here over here I've done so much virtual reality porn. Have you done virtual reality porn?

Starting point is 00:51:22 I have it. No, not they're give it back to me. No, hey first gonna porn? I have. No, I have not. Dude, give it back to me though. Hey, first I'm gonna room porn for you. It's gonna room porn. Don't do it. Let me tell you what happened, okay? Have you done it? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:51:33 I've done, I took it on the road. I jerked off in my hotel and then I... You walked to the wall for hotel room? I would... Two days later I'm gonna feel like... Yeah, you walked into the wall and you were like a horny cool right there. I jerked off and then I fished for two hours. Okay, you can go literally fishing dude drinking You have a drink and you can fit I had an orgy with like eight shakes and I went to a space station That's pretty sick. I suck the guy down. Well luckily I'm after Bobby

Starting point is 00:51:58 Oh It is fucking great, but here's the problem it fucked up porn for me Because I started jerking off to virtual reality porn and it's intense, dude. Like, I literally, there's one, it was like a Christmas porn where it was like, it was a Christmas party. You're like, oh, it's happy Christmas to me. And it's just like, there's two different videos.

Starting point is 00:52:16 There's one where it's all blondes. There's one where it's all brinets. And you can see the blondes fucking the guy over there while you're in the br- with the brinets. Like, it's a perspective. There's two dudes, but you can switch back and forth between the dude but the girls when they come up to you they're here yeah baby and I fucking know no better that surround sound like they come behind you yeah she's like you can

Starting point is 00:52:38 your dick suck that then you're like you're like hey big boy you're like, hey, big boy, what? It's the, I want next. Oh, dear. Oh, my God. I love when people come behind me, right on my back. Yeah, I didn't mean to show the place. All right, who's four? Wait, but you have to hook it up to porn hub. I don't understand how that works. No, there's a, there's a, like a safari.

Starting point is 00:52:57 So you type in ritual porn and you can go to it. Yeah, you can go to, so literally porn hub and all these sites, there's a virtual reality section on them. You click and it's all free. But if you pay for it, here's why it ruined it. Don't pay for it. No, you pay for it. Here's why it ruined it.

Starting point is 00:53:10 Don't worry, go to the red. No, don't pay for it. Start paying, you get into a relationship. And then you just want the nasty sex all the time. That's how they get you not having added. Because the problem is like, you know what porn dude? You jerk off like in order to, Natalie, cover your ears.

Starting point is 00:53:27 What? In order to come. And uncover your tits. I'm gonna max cover your ears too. Your son's here? No. He's hoping for that Oculus or on the corner. In order to do.

Starting point is 00:53:38 In order to come, I'm gonna have to watch, like, minimum 10, 12 videos, just to find one that I'm gonna whack off to come to I agree with that yeah you know you know show you sniff 10 videos yeah watch no no no no no no no I don't got it all day Jesus Christ time is money bitch like you see your scroll through you find the one that works I don't understand why my bitch but first reality there's not enough variety and so so you don't have enough variety to like really get going but then you go back to try to watch regular pointing you're like this There's not enough variety and so so you don't have enough variety to like really get going

Starting point is 00:54:05 But then you go back to try to watch regular pouring you're like this is just flat You're like what the fuck is this? You want to get on that couch? What a trip around on the couch? You got a you got to kind of wean yourself off of it I had to get like a projector and project it on the ceiling really have a different How long how much did you do it just that one weekend fucking blew your mind? No, dude. I did it. I did it for a couple of weekends.

Starting point is 00:54:26 But then I caught myself wanting to do it at my house. Which, you know, I can get your cot. I can't come with my girlfriend unless she glitches. I'm out of control. How about that? All right, you ready? Which is good stitches. I love that Joe's just been patiently standing here.

Starting point is 00:54:41 Joe, which one are you gonna pick? You're gonna say no, dude. Joe Russell. You're gonna pick that. Yeah, there's a bunch of stuff in there. And I didn't regift. I went out shopping because I'm not an asshole. I didn't regift either.

Starting point is 00:54:50 And everything in there is part of the gift. Nice towel. Yep. Terracotta. That's how old. There's some stuff in there. That's for if you get the Oculus. A lot of stuff in there.

Starting point is 00:55:01 Canadian 20. Canadian 20? That's a big deal. That's basically 20 bucks. That's essentially a 20-dollar a 20. No, Jeff. Hell he's going up. That's good. You're going to jail No, three pieces gum. What is fuck out of here? What are you deep who you can do is gum a blonde medicine sticker? That's a good record. Come on. You just fucking through shit in the back I'm a dude. I was more coming was this the bottom of your desk. That's a Mark Norman sticker Limited to dishes thanks Hey, I'm fucking gay was more coming was this the bottom of your best that's a mark norm and sticker limited edition thanks Hey, I'm fucking gay

Starting point is 00:55:29 Chipotle gift card and a shell gas fans give him that and he got the shell from the really Nelson on the road Wait, is there anything else in there? Incess a balsam incense you're insensitive Is there anything else in there? Incess, a balsam incense. You're insensitive. Yeah. That's, a public gift card is legit and so is the Shell gas and that's 20 bucks.

Starting point is 00:55:49 It's not 20, it's not America. It's not a 60 and 50. Yeah, he's got a fucking get to an airport, he drinks that 20 and, there you go, you got socks. Are you gonna take something out? You take your, you want to keep that? Take the fucking Oculus, obviously.

Starting point is 00:56:02 Take your, I'll fire you. I fucking leave. You don't? You have an Oculus. I'm to keep that? Take the fucking Oculus obviously. I'll fire you. I'll fucking leave. You don't? You have an Oculus. I'm fucked. Go ahead, take it. No, he said he has an Oculus. You have one.

Starting point is 00:56:11 You'll take a second. You have one? He's going to take his gift to so bad. Oh, no, that's cool. Max doesn't have shit. No, give this to Max. I hope you're fucking cheese. I hope you choke on cheese.

Starting point is 00:56:22 Choke on cheese. You're a peep. You're a peep. Joe fucking, you know what? Keep walking, kid. No, jail. That's not a bad gift. Hardy, hard. You're a, shell gassed.

Starting point is 00:56:31 You're a, you know, you use gas? You're a, how do you get home? These are my out towards. How do you, 25 dollar gas card. That terracotta towel. That's used to it. It's not even clean.

Starting point is 00:56:44 Jesus Christ. That's straight up. That is back. That terracotta towel. That's used, dude, it's not even clicking. Jesus Christ. That's straight up. That is deep, that is deep poo level bad. I'm fucking egg. Bad one, Joe. Oh God. That's a bad one. I just lost an Oculus Quest to a career.

Starting point is 00:56:53 And I thought you were not recognizing how great my gift is. Hardy hard. It's creepy. You know what? I'll tell you what. Yeah, I don't want to get my fingerprints on that fucking thing. Yeah, I don't even want to go near that one. Right.

Starting point is 00:57:04 It's loaded with old videos. Yeah. Number'm number five and I'm taking Bobby shit. It's all one gift, right? Wow, you're gonna love getting his gift. He shit on my gift. You're gonna love me. We're gonna love the way you You're gonna love all my All these are yours Bobby fucking every single one mind might be the most valuable gift by the way your sucks We're looking at a hundred dollars open that one last Might be the most valuable gift by the way. Your sucks. We're looking at $100. Open that one last.

Starting point is 00:57:25 Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Merry Christmas. Look at that. Oh, what is it? What is it, Joe? Set of two remote funnels. You ever lose the remote? Beeps when you whistle.

Starting point is 00:57:44 Boom. What? You ever lose your remote? Beeps when you whistle. Boom. What? You ever lose your remote in the couch? Where is it? Whistle. And it goes beep beep beep beep. So you find your remote. Ooh, I like that.

Starting point is 00:57:53 That's a good one. What if you have a pet bird? You'll love this one. Yeah, I ain't a question for you. You can put it on the bird. No, but I don't. Exactly like the gift cards I got that you were shitting on. Keep going, bitch.

Starting point is 00:58:05 I bought that. From how much is the Duncan gift card? 25. Oh, I love it. 25 amount of dunks. That's it. Keep going on the packages. Keep going.

Starting point is 00:58:15 Yeah, do the big box. Do that one. You'll love that one. This is the big box. That's one of them. Big box. That's a good one. You're gonna love this one.

Starting point is 00:58:24 We're being aggressive for I just remember I'm gonna eat Vilselka tonight. I got it like that. Huh? Beard trim apron. Yeah, you put it up on the mirror so you when you trim in your beard I like that. You don't get my wife get the shit on your shirt. Honestly, you can also do that with your nuts. Yep. That's pretty good. Oh the toilet Yeah, I go over the toilet with my Honestly, you can also do that with your nuts. Yep, that's pretty good. Over the toilet. Yeah, I go over the toilet with my,

Starting point is 00:58:45 I like that, I'm gonna just do that one. Just do that one. Do you want to feel? I'm pretty smooth. That's nice, right? It's pretty fucking smooth. Look at this one, you got a lot. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Starting point is 00:58:53 Yeah, do that one, do that one. In-shower phone case. What is it all from the same fucking, Huchiosk? Wait, that's exactly it. Fuck's going on here. No, it's not. Oh, no.

Starting point is 00:59:03 Oh, no. Good. Oh, no. Those two no. Dude, look at that. Those two are, yes, but the last one. Yes, the first two one were over here. That, you bring your phone off. Listen to this. Look at this. Smart phone not included.

Starting point is 00:59:16 Thanks for nothing. Dude, yeah, but you put your phone in there so you can listen to stuff in the shower. You have a speaker. That's wonderful. Watch this. You're gonna love this, dude. Listen to stuff in the shower.

Starting point is 00:59:24 This is coming. You're gonna fucking lose your mind with this. This is the shit. This is a nine in one. Yeah, dude. You are joy nine port type C hub adapter when you go when you have a MacBook, right? You have no ports. I don't know has everything in that is kind of sick micro usb s SD card HDMI Ethan HDMI You need that you know, but it is it you're fucking air drop everything now nobody needs all ports fucking take it when he's in Macbook they stop making the ports. It's got the lightning port. It's got two lightning Yeah, you don't need it anymore. You don't need it. You do you need it for So what is the

Starting point is 01:00:03 Podcast producer Joe over these is a guy This guy has right have a computer You don't need it. You do you need it. I'm looking in. What is the podcast producer? Joe over the years. This is a guy. This guy has a right. Have a computer. You. I was just hurtful. I'm sorry.

Starting point is 01:00:13 Who's stomach bubbling was that? That was me. You're good. I have an eight. Bobby got nervous because he's new. He's saying something hurtful. I apologize. Listen, that's a good one.

Starting point is 01:00:22 That's a horse. The last one was the biggest horse. I'm very happy with it. The last one was the best horse. The last one was the worst. Joe's was, yeah. You don't have a computer. By the way, hold on. Joe, yeah.

Starting point is 01:00:32 I have a computer. You can't, you might think crazy things. I don't think so. You don't live inside. Yeah, you don't get electricity in your house. You're fucking talking to me about. You don't even boil it, dude. Get there, you're using this composting.

Starting point is 01:00:43 That has ethernet too. I don't know what that is I think don't be thrown by that is from the bush That's a city rhyme drive You know what best you can put M3 you can say he's on that dude Joe and you need three songs on the computer You can take your computer in the hotel room H2M. I get the thing and put your own Your own Take your computer in the hotel room H.D. Am I the thing and put your R.O.K.A. Zant your R.O.K.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A. do your bum. Let me feel this whatever this sucks. Oh Take the Hanukkah, but I also kind of want to make a Chris who actually brought the horseshit Hanukkah back Who's Hanukkah get fuck the mad right? What do you think to do who the fuck you think that's funny dude? Yeah, it was mine

Starting point is 01:01:39 You think that's fucking funny dude. It's a fucking Christian show Don't beat him up and a Christian nation. Yeah, dude. You gonna take the Hanukkah? No. Who's that? That's me. Okay, there you go. What is this?

Starting point is 01:01:51 Danny, that's you. Oh boy, this is gonna stink. This is gonna suck. No, it's probably gonna be great because there's no way it's just a fucking piece of cardboard. It looks like... Well, look, it's Barack Obama with Spider-Man.

Starting point is 01:02:02 And say, comment. I just wanna let you know we stand with Israel because we stand with Spider-Man. Now Spider-Man. And say, comment, I just want to let you know we stand with Israel because we stand with the Spider-Man. Now, Spider-Man was a good man. And if the Israelis built the right, well, they should bomb the shit out of them. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:02:15 This is, all right. A collector's item, what is it? That's a stock. Hey, give me that. I'll clean less. I'll clean less. I'll clean more. I'll clean more.

Starting point is 01:02:24 That's literally worthless. You can't take your giftculus. I'll give you more. Oculus. That's literally worthless. You can't take your gift back. I just did, bitch. That's so fucking ghetto. Sorry, dog. I think I feel that everyone's using bitch too much. It's a real antagonistic. So that's not me really is.

Starting point is 01:02:37 It's not being a bitch. Who's got seven? I got seven. Who is this guy? You shot a fucker. You've never seen Max? No. Yeah, he's never seen. He looks like an actual elf.

Starting point is 01:02:48 He looks like booger from revenge with the nerds. It's like, this not even full. This is like half full. It's so nice. Take the return it. Blonde medicines are a cool record company man. You don't want yours. Dude, what's this? What is it?

Starting point is 01:03:04 What do you got, bud? God, this. What's that? People suckin' Dix? Yeah, kinda. So it's kinda cool. Who, who's giving this? It's called Dix and Dix on Dix.

Starting point is 01:03:15 Who made it? I kinda like this. Dix, I do like this. Dix on Dix on Dix. Dix getting blown by Dix while being butt fucked by Dix. I actually I I'm not a sick I literally want this from a studio. I want that. That's the fuck greatest gift I've ever seen. Who broke this? I brought that it's artwork from a local artist. It's great

Starting point is 01:03:35 He sold it to be when I was barking five years ago. It's true. How much did you buy it for? 20 bucks solid dude? Yeah, that's a solid Re gift to solid gifts Max max what are you thinking about? what's the sign on the back what's it saying on the back you're what you're going for the Oculus you got the you get the decks on decks on decks on decks on deck Natalie what what's your gift Natalie? You're a fucking perfect you have right now you're perfect as mine. Oh, it was my pervert gift yeah Dan do they're just drinking and sucking and

Starting point is 01:04:04 fucking it's decks on decks on decks like this podcast So who's left me oh really you got the last one that the best no cuz one gets the last laugh Let's see this fucking back fucking That's a book all you're making me furious you fucking you get bleep this you How I fucking dare you how dare you gotta be a book in a honna kebag not with what's going on I know this is crazy to know in a honna kebag What a no see fearless rise and paraplegics that please keep that please keep that please keep that book Yeah, I was having pictures of her cans

Starting point is 01:04:44 Who got that? Is there any pictures of her cans? Who got that? It's making me furious. I brought that. That's a great book. Max is mean. Read something out of it, Dan. That's like a socialist in Congress before. That's it.

Starting point is 01:04:58 Don't not mend me. It's a bugger of Wisconsin. Co-founder of the Socialist Party of America was a moderate reformer This stinks That black gift sucks stop doing drugs. Yeah, dude. You have eaten 400 Because the gift sucks about how much you can take but you can take somebody's gift So you can take Dan's Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks or the doculous did Max take the Oculus no, Joe

Starting point is 01:05:24 Yeah, Max is the Oculus Annie brought that horse shit fuck him take that a pack Dan's Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on Dicks on D rules might give sucks a fucking dick on dick like this you don't like burritos you're an asshole you don't like burritos you don't like Canada you don't like gasoline you don't like smelling nice no you don't like use towels of mine I fucking hate you give what you're saying you're just saying this artwork out loud that's dicks on dicks on dicks on dicks and butts in mouth and dammit is Natalie going to want to fucking take back my book. That's what makes it so interesting. Yes. You don't want the AOC book.

Starting point is 01:06:10 Get what you want. That's the game. Take the dick. Take what you want and just hope for the best. Take what you want. Put that up. Put that up. By the way Bobby, you don't want the Oculus.

Starting point is 01:06:21 Take the Oculus. I'm taking the Oculus. Oculus. I'm gonna give it a chance. Come on Natalie. Natalie, if you would have- Max, come over and watch James' Natalie.

Starting point is 01:06:29 You're the Oculus and he couldn't have it. Natalie. Come on Natalie. I'm loving this day. Natalie, come on. You know I'm- You have a funny bone in your body. You'll take that out of the mouth.

Starting point is 01:06:38 If it was up to Ralph, you will take that out of the mouth. You will take that out of the mouth. You will take that out of the mouth. I am you on your fucking side. Natalie. Natalie. Natalie, I'm gonna tell you right now I gave that your fucking side. I have great plans for you. Natalie, I'm gonna tell you right now, I gave that an empty box.

Starting point is 01:06:47 Let her hold the book. She might like, she probably like, oh wait, Max says the AOC book. Yeah, Max, you deserve that book. Natalie, you don't want this. Natalie, Natalie. Natalie, in the microphone, Natalie, in the microphone.

Starting point is 01:06:58 What does Natalie currently have? Oh, the perfect thing. I'm trying to decide if I should go funny or if I should go for the funny No, go for the thing that you want because you work really hard. We don't pay you funny Wait, I think both the same isn't what you want and the money. She doesn't care You want the off shot up Bobby. What do you want? What is your heart says she wants the you want you want evidence from a rape? No, you want the dick picture you want the dick pic is funny. All right. That's not funny. Go for what you want to do you want evidence from a rape? No. You want the dick picture? You want the dick picture?

Starting point is 01:07:25 I think the dick pic is funny. All right. That's not funny. Go for what you want. Natalie rules. I have a jerk off portal. I'm going to make love to this. My girl's going back on tour.

Starting point is 01:07:40 I find out that's spilled everywhere. That's money. That's $50. The five-line dollar. I hate, you know what this is? Look, hey. No, no, no, no, it's illegal. No, that's good.

Starting point is 01:07:51 That's good. That's good. You can't, yeah, you're literally fucking and not targeted. Why? It's a Canadian fucking, I'm telling you whatever a felony is a canter. What do they call a felony in Canada?

Starting point is 01:08:00 Bobby, I bet you $20 American dollars, you cannot rip that. Really? Yes, plastic, but not stable. Phys physically physically or you're saying that the Canadian government the Mounties will come and do it That's my money if I do it. That made the Oculus said I can't do it. No, I Mounty that's money. I saved for this rip it That's what gentlemen Let's take a moment and thank factor meals for supporting today's show factor meals is number America's number one ready to eat meal kit is delivered right to your door restaurant quality meals

Starting point is 01:08:31 I did I had a fucking flame and you on the other day Restaurant quality to me two minutes right on my microwave my mind was absolutely blown But you don't only get I mean you can do so many meals 35 weekly meal options You got breakfast options, apple cinnamon pancakes, bacon and cheddar egg bites. They got a lot of them. I want to tell you this though, the reason why I love it. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:08:51 Cause I was home the other day. I see Max took it out, read it. He's 10. He wanted dinner. My wife was kind of bitching about cooking. He went in the microwave, two minutes done, awesome meal. Never frozen too. Always fresh, which is awesome.

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Starting point is 01:09:23 Code regs, 5.0, R-E- zero are e g z five zero at factor meals dot com slash regs five zero to get 50% off. All right, let's get back to it. You pussy. Oh, wow. Fuck you. Dude, that's that's a That's a federal felony guys. That's how good Bobby is at eating you rip He really puts super bow to the dude he could do the impossible well looks like I'll be setting this up They're the women in the bathroom with a seller gonna want to know why there's no

Starting point is 01:09:59 I'll give you that 20 bucks for that Yeah, can't believe you ripped cash. That's a good fucking gift. That's $18. By the way, that's security. It's only 14. Can I say? Look, that is you don't have to have a wire. You can put that anywhere if you want to fucking make sure

Starting point is 01:10:13 to be stealing from you. You're good. If you want to, you know what this is going to do. I'm going to keep on fucking somebody. Yeah, dude, if you want to make sure don't not bang in. You're going to ruin my life. You know, I'm going to be in your couch. Ah, fucking Max is jujitsu instructor.

Starting point is 01:10:27 At least give the gas card to one of the poor people. He's gonna fuck down. I call this one a come on. Max almost, Max almost tell you when you're a dot comes. Bobby, do you mind if I have a piece of your gift? Yeah, God have it. Thanks. So this is fun.

Starting point is 01:10:43 I got a good gift though. This, whatever this is. This is gonna be fun. Oh, we're gonna be really. So this is fun. I got a good gift though. I can't believe whatever this is this is cool. This is gonna be fun We're gonna be really excited about this when we get home Actually, you know what max got Oculus. He's got the MetaQuest 3 So I wait Bobby threw a $25 shell gift go the play together. Yeah, did he or what? Take it stick it in your ass is a MetaQu quest too good at least can I gift this to James? It's fucking great and you can Upgrade it only works with Facebook does anyone want a dog? She has no you find you find I would love to do it. She'll find her to that thing is I

Starting point is 01:11:15 That's a good gift. What about the port fuck me do that port thing? I will hold on the port you're hold on now the portman The port things right when you do it uh, can I have the iPhone? That one. What's the top thing? That's the beer cell. Look, blah, blah, blah, really, I can't rip US money. Six months in jail. Six months in jail. No, do give me a dollar right now. You can shit on a flag, but you can't rip the fucking.

Starting point is 01:11:50 First of all, I do magic tricks with money all the time. I do little fucking tricks and fucking, you know, it does make it disappear. What happens if I make a dollar disappear? Well, you better run, you better run, boy. What are you gonna do? Rip me in cuffs, I'll get out of the cuffs. We're here, Tudah.

Starting point is 01:12:04 They make you move to Vegas Um, can you never tell the joke again man? I was glad that we all went You know, you know they close he does he did magic you did magic. He was him and Joe with both magic Show me a magic trick right now. They won't do it. Why he just won't I'll show you magic trick Watch this right here. Look at this. We see my cell cell phone? One, it's kind of three, ready? One, two, three. Are you on over 2,000 milligrams of alcohols? We saw you put it in your hoodie.

Starting point is 01:12:31 Shut up, honey. And you did that trick last week. Yeah. Did it on the last episode. You guys are assholes. Did you eat 1,000 milligrams? Did you ever, ever, ever, ever, ever? Never enough, buddy.

Starting point is 01:12:41 That's him speaking. That's him, yes. That's his brain to his mouth. Yeah, that's him. We're gonna yes, that's his brain to his mouth We're gonna tuck you in at the end you're like hit him all so mad about the fucking Canadian 20 Jesus Christ Yeah, dude, that's enough to take out a gorilla. He is a gorilla Racist I'm afro Latina what the fuck you afro Latina is Latina. Is that a thing? Yeah. I don't know. You don't even have any hair.

Starting point is 01:13:07 It was almost a bomb, dude. You guys fucking, I got it at the end of the day. I think my little 30 milligrams are getting it. So I'm getting a little wet. All right, we got to do rose throats, C dog. I'm trying to go to, we get it, you got a kid. We get it, dude. We all get it.

Starting point is 01:13:21 We are kid. We are kid. This is the longest thing. This is the longest part. And we've been doing the show for an hour and a half. Whoa. This is the longest thing. This is the longest part, and we've been doing the show for an hour and a half. Whoa, whoa, the longest thing. Oh my god. Oh.

Starting point is 01:13:33 All right, I'm gonna go first. Why? Why? Because I fucking said that. Well, I'll get tough, relax. I'm very tough. You're not very tough at all. By the way, man does not have kids,

Starting point is 01:13:42 but he wants to go home the most. I could feel it in his voice. Yeah, I was gonna smoke and hide. What is going on with you guys once a month? That's all you can do you can fucking muster up the energy Yeah, we're having fun. I was just going cuz you guys were sitting around playing slap dick fucking day later Let's light one of these damn so damn No, no too cool for us, dude Too cool

Starting point is 01:14:06 Hey Lewis, it's like a tree. It's not cool at all. Hang out here. Too cool. Seven hours. By the way, how long has Potecdart Park someone that came out today? Who cares? Yeah, but it's four hours.

Starting point is 01:14:15 Why do you care so much about these people? They have to get drunk to hang out with each other. Yeah, they don't like that. You are really, you wish you were there. I'm on 2000 milligrams. Can I tell you guys something right now? I think Lewis, the whole reason he brought the rags together, was because he wants to be on Protect Our Park.

Starting point is 01:14:27 Guys, I just care about it. I just threw my phone behind my back. We like those guys. We love them. And Lewis is just wants to be on it so bad that he reassembled us, which we thought was a fine approach. That's not true. We would do on this first.

Starting point is 01:14:41 Yeah, but Lewis, disassembled us. My crepto is fucking up there. Only two hours and 30 apart one. Then five hours, let's, we're gonna do a full shift. Yeah, we're doing, we're doing a five hours, can we do a five hour show one day, Bobby? Yeah, we can do whatever you want. Right now, do you say crypto is up?

Starting point is 01:14:58 Crypto is up. Absolutely not. To what? We should do a five hour show breaking into eight episodes, so we don't have to get together again for a while What if you don't know what if you don't know your password what happens? Why are you I've been Bobby six nine six nine? My cryptos up to like yes, and you're about 60% of what my initial investment was

Starting point is 01:15:20 Wait, I just read 60% of the worth or 60% of what I initially invested is now back. Can I? It went so bad. Can I give you something? Can I tell you something? Seriously? Please. I just recently invested in who gives a fuck. Can I buy some stock in that?

Starting point is 01:15:36 Yeah, dog. Can I get another phone? What's your phone, bro? My phone is my grandmother broke her hip and she's in a facility. Sorry, why would you laugh at that? That was funny. She's a correctional facility. She's doing time, she's doing hard time saying what?

Starting point is 01:15:53 She's locked in with the mirrors and the red, but she had a Tuesday read and she had a Tuesday side recently. I'm going to go with the areas. Hey, give this to your grandma. OK. Yeah, watch a Filipino nurse. What do you want? Where are you going? Where are you going? Just downstairs?

Starting point is 01:16:08 That was some time he's not going anywhere. Just give me a coffee a little bit of cream. Please. Nope. Yeah, you can say please. Yeah, say please. No. What? They work for us. The please is their paycheck. Why do you treat Natalie nice? But you don't treat them. She's a girl, dude. And the girls are coming for me one day. Come from every day. He's had this fun. So you're, you're, you're, you're granny got some trouble.

Starting point is 01:16:36 She's in a bad way. She's in bad way. She broke her hip and she's starting to lose her mind. And I went and saw her on Thanksgiving. And it was a fuck. Maybe she didn't lose her hip and she just lost her, she's losing her mind. No, she lost her mind and that's why she fell and I don't have legs No, she calls me Gary she calls me by that

Starting point is 01:16:51 She thinks you're Gary Shanley where she goes Gary Shanley Why should be serious lose come on Come on, but yeah, it's fly right that's dumb bits program is that you Gary Shanley? No, I don't do a good. How is it? Hello? Hey, I'm't do a good job. How is it? Hello. Hey, I'm Gary Shanling. Watch my stuff. You're the best Gary Shanling joke. Every time my wife and I have sex,

Starting point is 01:17:12 she always yells the same thing. Not in the ass, not in the ass. And I say, listen, honey, it's my thumb and my ass. That's good. What are my all-time favorite jokes? That's great. He thumps his own ass during sex. Why?

Starting point is 01:17:23 I'm giving him cue card energy. That's great. We're gonna be right back after this. Um, that should, is that you know, is my thorn? Okay. My seat. No, we do one hundred. We go all around once. Oh, okay. So that's thorn. That's my thorn. Is my grandmother is slow. Yeah, always. My thorn is my grandmother's slowly dying. She and grandma's died. You that's just for the weird six weird thorn. Why is it a weird thorn? Grandma's die. What the fuck is my my my my thorn is that the skies blue? Okay, but she's not that she got

Starting point is 01:17:50 Got too far. It's what are you looking for? What kind of Too far what kind of retort logic is that? Yeah What do you want to do? Viking computer on move on This used to be sentimental. Yeah, I was trying to be sentimental, Joe. I know.

Starting point is 01:18:08 I'm saying Lewis is mucking it up. This fucking sedated monkey is over here. I'm afro-looking at you. I'm looking at you. Let me show you what you're throwing. Dan, I'm going to get torn in your fucking ass. I'm going to record you. Ticks on, ticks on, ticks.

Starting point is 01:18:25 Ow. I like this gold t-shirt. I like that. Very, very old-like, like you, like the last time you had a goatee, that was in style. Yeah. Clinton was in on this. It doesn't really does that anymore. That's not a goatee that anyone has in the world.

Starting point is 01:18:39 Look, you have a goatee. Not like that. Yeah, you can't grow it. You're a hamster. What are your notes talking about? Nine-year-old boy. You know what I'm talking about? You guys all jiggle that when I said it.

Starting point is 01:18:50 No, no, no, it doesn't. You know what I'm saying? It looks like it works at an alternative rock station. It looks like he works at a four-year entertainment at the mall. He's like, guys, we got new owls and chains coming out. I worked at four-year entertainment. And I had that go too. I like to go to you. I think it's sharp. Thank you, dude. I worked it for your entertainment. And I had that go to you. I like to go to you.

Starting point is 01:19:08 I think it's sharp. Thank you, dude. I'm not kidding. Honestly, Bobby, if you ask me, all day, it's so good at fucking. That go to you is sex. You know what I'm saying now about it being an old school late night. Yeah, we did it.

Starting point is 01:19:23 That's sucking a dick and eating. Pussy go ahead. You just You're a facial hair doesn't connect. Yeah, you look like a shitty swashbuckle. We're And you know, I'm gonna call me a swastika. I was like, what's your thorn? You think I'm job. Very funny. It's pretty good. Funny guy. We come back to me. No. Yeah. Come on. This year was pretty good. Funny guy. Can we come back to me? No. Can we come back? Come on.

Starting point is 01:19:48 His year was so good. 2000 milligrams of edible. I know you're thorn. What is it? The fucking Wi-Fi at the stand. No. Oh, that's not. That was a catalyst.

Starting point is 01:19:57 That was a catalyst for me to change things in a positive way. What happened with the Wi-Fi at the stand? The Wi-Fi kept going out to the stream. Teppin' going on Legion is Kangson Monday night. So now we're just live to tape. So we tape on Mondays and we air it on Tuesdays. So a lot of people are calling.

Starting point is 01:20:09 Do you have one of your producers go three, two? No, it was the point. What about the Bobby Hutchbach? So listen, we said, I can name a lot of thorns for you. Yeah, I mean, you're a prickly boy. We said we aren't gonna edit anything. This is actually one of the producer's ideas, G Mike's idea.

Starting point is 01:20:23 He was like, so right at the end of the show, we're not doing anything and we're doing a Hanukkah party. So I was giving them all Jewish gifts so that I gave him a Palestinian flag. That's correct. And we've making the point we're not editing anything the whole night. We're not, we're not editing.

Starting point is 01:20:36 That's it. We know we're going to have to tape, but we're not going to edit. And then I was like, and you know what, to celebrate Hanukkah, we're going to burn this Palestinian flag. Then I have the flag, I take a lighter, and then it's a hard cut. And it's just, I think it's a napkin,

Starting point is 01:20:48 just like burning like and smoking like that. That's what it's funny. We are not gonna edit. I gave you a picture of Muhammad. I gave you a cut. What's your thorn? You got a lot of them. No, come back to me for my thorn.

Starting point is 01:21:03 I gotta think about it. I gotta think about it for a second. This man's living a life of privilege. When you have so many of them, you're right. Tumbling down. He's going like this. Oh, it's like he's at basketball robins. Oh, let me try the author. That's sucked. Where's the bone, Dana? I like it. It's got to be around Danny's fucking face after his hanging from it. That was an all time bond. He's gone. He's hanging from it in the bathroom. What do you got, Joe? What's your, what's your thorn? Thorn. Inside the baby, your mouth.

Starting point is 01:21:29 Real hurtful. Thanks Dan, for being open and honest. Yeah, I'm waiting for you, dude. Yeah, I appreciate you. Let's be honest. I bless you, Doug. That's it! I made that up, just casing what I want to know. I guess, I just want to know that.

Starting point is 01:21:40 I just want to know that. You know, it's tied to something nice, but I'm very, very, very tired. It makes me very cranky and very exhausted. That's the thorn. Is what? Your baby? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:21:51 So I'm exhausted. Your baby's actually your thorn. I mean, Jesus Christ, he's your child. I'm saying, I don't know, many of you are in love. Joe, he's gonna watch this one day. He's just sitting over the gun going, Wait here, hear my, my rose and seed though. Oh, dude, hey, can you give me a smaller cup possibly?

Starting point is 01:22:08 Cool. Thanks for the thimble of coffee for this guy that's on enough sedatives to take down an elephant. Very sleepy. Joe, you hate your son, Bobby, your Thor. How does your number one enemy is your child? Number one, Bobby. Joe's child.

Starting point is 01:22:21 Wow. Fucking shitty since he's had one. He's been a thorny boy. He's been a thorny boy What do you he said he we had to edit out a whole part where he didn't like my voices honestly Hey, I pretended to like your go T. I'm a nice guy Bobby rub your go T. What do you think you voting for Clinton again? Jimmy Amble night fart Jimmy Amble Night Fire Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha X better than Lewis's go T. Yours is dirty. Damn. This is that is racial. Yeah, his looks like magnets made it

Starting point is 01:23:13 You got like Jimmy's I'll be right there. Yeah, you got your face is a copy of a gym out over I think it's all over his face. He's just saying about those hair. Give him hair. I'm pissed because Bobby actually looks like the character. Whatever he thinks. If you pull back, it looks so much like by the end. Oh man, they got that. I could have said it about his go-tay. You can.

Starting point is 01:23:41 Well, too bad you're on 14,000 million. I'll say it tomorrow. Yeah, he's going to wake tomorrow. You got the magnet go. Gee. Yeah, what's this the magnet magnet marty or whatever his name is? Yeah. That's I feel like a guess.

Starting point is 01:23:56 What's your thorn? Um, this is I mean, it's like it's just like fucking Bob. Willie, Willie, Willie, Willie, Hey, Willie, Willie, Bobby, you look so much like Willie, Willie, Willie, like you did. You have Willie,ally, Wally. Hey, Wally, Wally. Bobby, you look so much like Wally, Wally, Wally, fucking dude. You have Wally, Wally, and then you edit out Bobby calling me Wally, Wally, first.

Starting point is 01:24:08 Because it works better for Bobby. Just in this way it goes, but this one. It's so good when we look at Wally, Wally, Wally, is that Wally, Wally, with the Hitler mustache? That's hilarious. But the beard is dead on yours, Lewis. Yeah. The facial hair.

Starting point is 01:24:24 Joe, don't be a fucking woolly, woolly. Don't be a what? Don't be a fucking fun guy. Cool dude. Martin Magnet. Don't be a woolly. Dude, woolly. What's your thorn, dog?

Starting point is 01:24:33 What is your thorn? Why are you looking at me? I'm not mad at you. I'm just trying to think of a thorn. It's a good life. We are killing it. I have a good life. I don't have that many thorns.

Starting point is 01:24:41 You guys aren't losing any family members. My thorn this year is kind of a stupid one. But. You're brain? It's a, it's not. Is it your act or what is it? You can say it. I didn't, it sucks, but it's stupid.

Starting point is 01:24:56 I didn't get to use my backyard at all. What the fuck kind of thorn is that my brain? You have other, you have a, is losing your mind and dying. Yeah, but you don't have a backyard. It is actually funny if we do really you know, like you're back. Nice. You have a backyard.

Starting point is 01:25:09 You've known for a couple of years. You got a cool backyard. You go out and there's you have the little fire. You have a pool now. You know, I like using my back out like going out there and I didn't use it. Backyard better than grandma. Yeah. It's fun.

Starting point is 01:25:21 I mean, I wouldn't disagree with that. Pull pull. You can't swim in a grandma. If you oh yeah, you can Especially for hips a broken I've read him boys. Yeah, I didn't get to you. I really bummed out and then use my back Yeah, oh, you guys know me wait myself. I you know I use my backyard a lot I used to have the barbecues. I know remember I used to have all that shit in the subway at a good time

Starting point is 01:25:44 I love that all the comics came up. We and I didn't I haven't done that at all. We haven't had one barbecue like Lewis. You didn't come over it all this year. Remember we were at least do barbecues with the boys. I know. I mean to shit. Yeah. Can I just say what?

Starting point is 01:25:58 I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm so sorry. Yeah, me too. I'm sorry, but you didn't get to use your back. Yeah, I said it was a dumb one. That sucks, man. I'm sorry that all the didn't get to use your back yard. I said it was a dumb one. That sucks, man I'm sorry that all the people my life that we're gonna die died already. Yeah, I'm so sorry my grandmother's dead Well, you know my grandma's about to join her Joe

Starting point is 01:26:14 I'm so sorry you hate your son. I said sleep. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was sleepy. Lewis go My thorn I mean right now He got a text to his grandmother died during this, I'd be like, shit. Let me take a dip in that pool. My thorn. That would be a fucking great prank. Well, Dan was in the bathroom. Change, change someone's number to grammar. Super. You had to wait until you to mom. Like grandma's dead. Sorry. So I go, Nana died. You go. Yeah. Hey, I heard your thorn it just came it would be funny if my reaction was like

Starting point is 01:26:50 Trying to go get that piano that you become your rose. Yeah, I got my rose is I don't have to go to Lakeport anymore It's weird. Hey, look dude. Fuckin. It's it's everything in life is on a spectrum. Oh, here we go. Yeah, what are we talking about? The fuck does that mean? Yeah, you have eight, you've ate so much you've become retarded. I've another fruit roll up. You fucking... I've been in the fruit roll ups for so many minutes. This is something to cop with.

Starting point is 01:27:14 Yeah, when you're on fucking, how many fruit rollups do you have? No, but like, it's a shit gift. Joe's, I forget my phone, forget it. No, I'm in the middle of a thorn you guys decided to start fucking talking Yeah, you guys remember when you're laughing about my dying grandma. It's caught me off on time Go ahead. What is it? What's your thorn? Well, I because I think There's good and bad and almost like everything and everyone

Starting point is 01:27:41 We learn to give each other When do this fucking show because so GD. What? I'm just saying because like my, I would say that like my thorn is almost like my biggest fucking seed right now. Say it! You're a fucking idiot. I hate the lab.

Starting point is 01:28:01 You know what we should do instead of rose thorn seed ranking the worst fucking intern I'm gonna get it. I hate their laps. You know what you do? Instead of rose thorn seed, ranking the worst fucking intern people. No, my, my, because I would say that like the, the platform gas digital, the, we, we completely

Starting point is 01:28:19 launched a new platform. And it was a, there was a lot of growing pains and a lot of money and a lot of stress. Love Kurt Cameron. But it's a fucking, there was a lot of growing pains and a lot of money and a lot of stress. Love a Kurt Cameron. But it's also like, it's also my seed. It's also like what we did to the platform this year

Starting point is 01:28:33 and what we're doing to the platform right now is gonna be the future of Legion of Skanks and Real-Ass Podcasts and all these amazing shows. So it was a huge headache, but honestly, Jesus Christ, my thorns listening to that holy shit. You did a shot clock. What the fuck? Oh, damn. Sky has nobody. Oh, shit. What are you driving home alone? What do you hang out with Jess Natalie? God damn Natalie. Start saying

Starting point is 01:29:00 shot. Get a shirt. It's a shit. the fuck up. Yeah, my God. My thorn is my rose, but my rose is my thorn and the seed is my thorn. And the new thing for doing is fucking innovation and technology. Holy shit. But I guess that's why they say every podcast has it's you every night has it's gone every pop he has it's done. Hey, that's not every band has whatever is girlfriend's name is her name is lady. She's every

Starting point is 01:29:38 rose. She's the love of my life. So every grandma has a hip one day. Well, she did the glue. It's her hip sucks. Now they glued it back together like So every grandma has a hip Her hip sucks now they glued it back together like she's a GI gel Okay, I'm talking tighter to an M80 with a rubber band. Yeah, they put a different ladies feet on her I go these are my grandma's legs. These are a black ladies legs and they go we can kind of swim them out like Brooklyn G.I.J It still feels so much pain like the knife the punk should the wound My dad you piece of shit. I knew you were going for that. Wow

Starting point is 01:30:25 So is that is that your foreignorn and your Don't make him go and for I don't know I can't No, you're throwing the thorn. I got you. Yeah, go. No, I got my Twitter that he had. That sucks.

Starting point is 01:30:35 That was how did that happen? But by the way, I did buy a MacBook and I'm very excited for it to go there. How did you how did that happen? I get an email like five days ago from Twitter being like, hey, did you check if it was Twitter? Somebody from St. Petersburg, Russia signed into your Twitter. I'm like, oh no, they're like, click here to change a password. I'm like, you stupid. You're like, right, I will.

Starting point is 01:30:54 They're like, oh password, here you are, new password. And here you are. Here's the one that changed all my passwords too. And then I didn't think anything of it. For you to go by, then I get an can email saying your, the email associated with your ex account has been changed to some other shit. I was like, that's, I didn't do that. I just sat down to watch Godzilla with my girlfriend. And you're like, I didn't change. What do you mean? Yeah. You really, you just were like, Oh, cool. I'll put

Starting point is 01:31:19 all my important information on that. I bet he said a record. They were like, this guy's the fastest. important information. I bet he said a record. They were like, this guy's the fastest. This man, this man is stupid. That's all I heard. Yeah, dude. So now right now, but I have like ends and I, people are hitting me back right now and fucking saying that they're gonna give me my password. I's gonna give my security number and what the rush. Why'd you ask Bert if he can help you out?

Starting point is 01:31:47 Bert? The machine. The machine, you think? You're a casino's rush, and so yeah. They'd be like, of course, we lit all the machines. Oh, machine we give best. Oh, you mean, you mean, you mean, the rattlesnake?

Starting point is 01:31:56 You want little brown boy to have his Twitter back. You think this guy, he stole my Twitter, and then like, all right, you probably didn't sell any fucking, or a back box. You probably didn't. any fucking X or a back books you probably didn't or maybe did but now that it's over now that they're on to you just give it back dude chill so we still use it you still it's well no he I think he's been locked out because he's obviously ripping people off and trying to get their credit card information but they didn't give back so many skank fans are going like dude

Starting point is 01:32:22 Lewis is a real ask you that's a good price on Like oh, no, oh god. You got everybody's So as of right now, I don't know that I'm getting it back, but I started a new one call Rogan to get a hold of Elon yeah, Rogan's gonna just call you get on that other podcast He can I know I mean you do know you are two degrees of separated from the owner of X Why don't you say to the camera you Elon watches this same you'll suck them off. Yeah, sir. Mr. Elon daddy Daddy Elon Let's move to Rose Yeah, it's like a different city

Starting point is 01:32:59 My moving to Pittsburgh at this one hey Hi rose dog Rose dog? Rose dog Baker. My Rose is my Rose is that Katie and I moved into the city into an apartment that we love and it's great apartment. It's great living in the city. I'm having a very good time.

Starting point is 01:33:18 I enjoy it and I've never lived in Manhattan before and it's very convenient. Wow. That's my Rose. It's I'm truly I feel very lucky to live there It's a great rose. What do you got? Fuck oh? I'm saying is that your rose? Yeah, what do you got 90210? I know I'm just saying is that your rose? Yeah, it's my rose. You don't have another rose. No, okay. I don't need a rose. What do you got? Didn't you propose? Last year that was my rose last. Oh wow really sitting on the pot Yeah, cuz we want the perfect wedding. It's my day

Starting point is 01:33:51 Joe Rose party. Let's party at the wedding. We got a dance. Can I come yeah on your face? Coming on me. Yeah My rose was skankfest. I fucking loved it. That was a highlight of my year. It really put things in perspective for me and just opened up a lot of our two opportunities and it was a great time. Love it, love it. Bobby, Bobo.

Starting point is 01:34:16 I don't know if that was serious, so we're moving. Yeah, I don't know if it's down. What opportunities did it open up? Well, the bit is I had a child and I'm saying, Skankfest, but nobody fucking got the joke. Louis just took it like, yeah, and that's why we do what we do. That's why skank fest. I'm gonna tell you right now. That's the reason I get up early every morning to yell like Christina Rebecca. Because you know what, that's the results. That's how the skank fest is that I really believed it. Like in the straight.

Starting point is 01:34:46 Fucking wins. Really. It was very festival. Yeah. Of course. Well, duh. Connothado was going to sweep besides skankfests were doing. Yeah. No, that's everyone's rose.

Starting point is 01:34:56 Now, Skankfests did rule though. That was really fun. I loved it. It was a great year. Oh, that that cigar lounge that we had. That was very fun. I had a that was the hell of a hang after the It did rule that cigar lounge that we had. Oh, that was very fun. I had a fucking hell of a hang after the rigs at the cigar lounge.

Starting point is 01:35:08 It was a fucking great man. That was a really fun. That was a really fun fun. Yeah, when we got the security guard that the fucking kick out the industry, that was great too. That was really fun. Yeah. Max was there too much clearly.

Starting point is 01:35:22 He was, I think that's a hundred percent. I think next year we fight, it has to be a certain level of comedian. I think,'s, I think. 100%. I think next year we fight, it has to be a certain level of comedian. I think, I don't think the level, I think we have headshots. Like you, we do, we figure out who's invited before, and like the fucking 911 hijacker. Dude, were you there?

Starting point is 01:35:37 You there when I showed up with my tuna sandwich? That was me the hardest I left all weekend. I showed up like, because there's that, that cats, whatever the deli, it's not cats, whatever the, yeah, oh yeah, that was the dog. That's the dog's deli. Dog's deli.

Starting point is 01:35:48 Sagin'os deli, which we ate at. But then, so I got a glue, I was getting gluten free bread, but the gluten free bread, it looked like old school like wonder bread. It was just white bread. So I got a tuna sandwich. Um, it's just, he's too slaced to white bread.

Starting point is 01:36:01 I came over to that tent, and just I sat in the middle of 10 comics who just trash Me for a full three minutes. Yeah, the point where I had to walk out and just eat a sandwich by myself The pants the drummer with the pants. Oh, we trash them With fucking He fucking left That was great. We really did a number on many people. So that was your rose?

Starting point is 01:36:27 No, I mean, the birth of my son. Obviously, he's your number one enemy. So that's a weird rose. I said I'm sleepy, that's all. No, you said you hid your kid. Bobby, go ahead, rose. I don't have to say. That go T really is so well kept with the lips,

Starting point is 01:36:41 it's spectacular. But it's not what it's supposed to be. No, it is. It's not what it's supposed to be. We got to keep it moving. I mean, it's not the biggest. It was funny. It's a perfect lip, perfect beard. It is. It's very nice. Your lips look like two pink crayons with a lot of

Starting point is 01:36:56 the opposite. I'm going to compliment with this. Yeah, nice. A pre-iPhone world that go T is incredible. Now, even better. That wasn't is incredible. Now Even better. That wasn't even above it was just hurtful When I type in 90s go T. This is what comes up. You're fucking go T dude. This is what I'm saying dude It's just nobody has it really that way anymore dude

Starting point is 01:37:21 Different go T No, that is a different go to it. Yeah, it was yeah, it was like more work done. It's not me a different one That's not the work done More work in here. Okay, it's just like it's like it's just that type of go to you. Dude. He's a dick head Guy Fieri Fieri. I like to say it like it's a time I like my go to look who are we gonna I mean what you should do Bobby? I'm gonna believe I can do this. Oh, you know what you should do? Stop touching me. You know what you should do? Stop touching.

Starting point is 01:37:47 You know what you should do? Okay. You should do a fucking cop stash straight up mustache. Yes. That would look fucking dope. Bobby, you with a fucking, you have a whole Kogan, you have a whole Kogan,

Starting point is 01:37:56 do a whole Kogan. My real biological father has a mustache. So go ahead. And I don't want, I feel like I'll look like him. What you gonna do brother, when you look bad as when you cut that hair. Say your prayers, dude.

Starting point is 01:38:08 You want to see my dad? Say your bad, man. Yeah, I want to see your Papa. You do? Papa? Show me your Papa. The coach, he looks great. When it comes to faces and looks, who you gonna believe?

Starting point is 01:38:17 Me or Lewis? Mm. Mm, mm, mm. We lost Lewis. Look at him, he's just fucking serenade. He's out of it, dude. He thought those are fruit loops He's a kid with drug problem dog Did you eat all of this? That's two thousand milligrams

Starting point is 01:38:38 And he was high when he got here 2 to 8 two thousand you're on too many drugs. That would kill us. Yeah. 2000 milligrams is a shit ton of weed. That's a lot. Guys, Joe name is this retired from the New York Jets. But right now, my bookie is a no-strengths attached cash bonus

Starting point is 01:39:00 that lets you win. Alright. Join us at my bookie for an entire season filled with daily odds, boosts, same gay parlays, and huge prize pool contests. Dude, I love my bookie. We're sports nets. You and I, we go way back with college football. Nothing like putting a few clams, a few bananas. By the way, I get what season I made.

Starting point is 01:39:19 And that's what I love. If you don't give a shit about a fight, throw us some cash on it. It'll be edge of your seat. Well, that's why. This year when there's the brakes bowl, the minike brakes bowl, you can bet on that. Absolutely. I like it because I'm not a big sports guy like you guys know and it gives me up, but I do like to throw a little money down on something.

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Starting point is 01:40:18 at how much fucking candy. Sweet. Guys, protect our parks doesn't do this I've never heard they get crazy fucked up Yeah, do they just drink beers and puke all over each other and fucking That's how it's like away but we just swimming money and rub it on their chest. Oh money and That sounds way cooler than this. Yeah, do they work with the portal out with fucking the rock goddamn damn Do they work out with the rock we don't even get what you fuck you Bobby Dude fucking nothing for us to work up with the rock you scumbags. Yeah, at least get us Marty genetic Somebody they worked out with the rock. I can I can hook you up with the one on one with Colin quim What do we do it kind of sick dude? They fucking worked out that really bummed you out It really bummed you out dude.? It really bummed you out.

Starting point is 01:41:05 Dude, it killed me a little inside. I know. What, what do you like the rock? Yeah, who does the rock do? The rock, the rock. It's so cool. It's like a child that got adopted by the wrong family. Yeah, dude, I should've let it adopt the rock.

Starting point is 01:41:16 Dude, how cool that I've been. You want it to be a rock? Yeah. Well, that's cause winners, losers complain. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen. You know what's pointed out to me recently, that Sean Conner won the Oscar for the Untouchables and everyone's like, he actually just has a Scottish accent.

Starting point is 01:41:30 He's playing an Irish guy. That is weird. He just has his normal voice. Bobby, do you want to join us? Bobby's left the show. You're not going to quit. Sometimes like to slap a maroon. It's somebody's rose.

Starting point is 01:41:41 Bobby, do your roll. You're gonna figure it out with that little roll. Do your roll, do your roll, that's what you're doing. I rolled it. You're gonna find the fucking picture. You got to win off line for the roll. his roast Bobby do your your your do you find the fucking picture did you get a win-off line right there dude I had it me who ate that you got to have

Starting point is 01:41:52 you ever been touched make an album of dad photos you can find it I have only one photo of my father that I found like a week ago and I can't be a week back a week back was a Bobby back, was it Bobby? That's good. That's fun.

Starting point is 01:42:07 Goddamn those 2000 MGs are really kicking in. Yeah, you're pretty sharp for this many drugs, which makes me think you have a problem. You know, what makes you think is that I'm actually a genius. God, no, the inside of your left eye is showing that you're high, so I can start to see it through your windows. Oh, yeah. I'm hearing everything is poems right Is everything rhyming for everyone right now?

Starting point is 01:42:38 I think The walls are fucking sweating Lewis is dumb and he likes to eat come That's good. Did you just come up with it? You saved my ass on that I owe you buddy. I almost maxed it point out. I was Danny that bombed. I can't remember which fucking knit with bombed Jesus Christ hit me out of here with $25 worth of gas. I just want to say this Somebody else did this, you would be fucking living. You would be pissing blood.

Starting point is 01:43:07 That's so mad. Man, I put the phone down and you yelled at me. You would just take it back up. If someone else did this, you would beat them up if you had the ability to. I know. I'm sorry. Bobby's like, look, I can look at my phone too.

Starting point is 01:43:17 This bit might be hilarious. Your dad better have like, dick's painted on his forehead and a fucking rainbow tie. Your dad better be Gallagher Can you do a crusty mat weight as a great crust? I can't do crusty. Oh you're gonna hear man. Wayne's crusty It's really good. I'll try to know No No, did you work on your brain oil Maria?

Starting point is 01:43:40 I'm crazy the class. That's not bad That's pretty good. Hey, that's pretty good. I didn't know real. I was probably please join us. I'm so I'm gonna get mad to call him with a crusty Just have him send him a voice about Matt voice. Yeah, that's what I'll do voice rise like Kenny to four. Whoa Don't I Shade the video of the gig we did last night corporate gig have you done this gig the Westmoreland club? Yeah, no, have you really? Westmoreland the guitar some women just love it. Yeah, it's pretty sick It was B-A-N-A-N-A-S

Starting point is 01:44:14 You want the bomb and Anna what give it to me? Look at this Give him the bomb and then What is it a Christmas party? What is it a Christmas party? Oh my god, how much did you get paid for that? I'd rather not say What are we doing here? What are we doing here? That's the funny video. What are we doing here? That's a funny video. What do you ask? Oh, I can't find it

Starting point is 01:44:41 I can't find it. What's your rose? I think somebody Deleted the photo of my dad go to recently deleted my rose Recently deleted now we're gonna use some you just talking to my phone. Hi. Are you just went recently deleted? Dude my rose I would have to say Is the bonfire that does this year? That was a pretty, I mean, because it was, you know, something that might have happened. Sure. And we know we were all talking about. I was like, whatever, I kind of didn't put, I was hoping that you guys would maybe something would happen. You guys, you know, work it out or whatever, but work one out. I was just decided. Yeah. When you came to that and you were like, I'm leaving. And then I talked to Jay and then when it happened, you know, there's a lot of stuff that had to kind of

Starting point is 01:45:23 work out. Yeah. And it all kind of worked out pretty well. Dan not wanting to give you any more. No, turning around completely on his whole plan. No, the contract at all. Oh, it's just if I was like, you know what, you know, did, yeah. J told me that. J said like a week before I left, he goes,

Starting point is 01:45:38 I really had a nightmare that you're gonna come in and be like, I'm not leaving. I was like, like Wolf of Wall Street. Yeah, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not talking, I'm going to go. I'm going to go. Well, that would have been so funny if I'm like Wolf Wall Street. Yeah, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not talking. I'm going anywhere. I'm going to rule. That would have been so funny if I did that the last week.

Starting point is 01:45:49 And I just gotta say one thing. I'm not going anywhere. Well, when I told Jay, I go, dude, if he comes back last minute or in a week or I do it, I don't give a fuck. But that was a cool thing to get that. I've been going to that place. Yeah. It's kind of going to the front desk for 20 something years.

Starting point is 01:46:05 I got your own badge, baby. They got a badge, but I never got a paycheck and they never gave me a nickel. I've never gotten even paid for parking. It cost me money to go to serious and do shows. For 20 years. You want even open Anthony. And now you're an employee.

Starting point is 01:46:19 And now it's cool to actually get a check and have a little bit of life. He's gonna break you even's gonna break even in four years Wow That is that yeah, well, I'm glad. Yeah, no, I was we can 100% serious Four years look at the inside of his left eye do you guys see that? What is that you could tell that's how high-skitting what does that mean? It means he's so high that he can look inside of one of my eyes Look into my eyes

Starting point is 01:46:52 Lewis you will find what's your what's your rose you mean it can't be a network Can't be a network or something you've built. Yeah, can't be an update. Yeah, I can't be So When you find me there you search I mean I love my network. What do you want me to say? Something else sorry for creating a network at least someone does Nailed you dog Why what what about you girl you got a new girl. She's already you got a new girl You got a new girl. She's a right. You got a new girl. I wish that I had. I can't have my new. I can't have my new girl being my rose every year.

Starting point is 01:47:32 Got a new rose. Funny. What's that? He's a dozen roses. Call me the forest. I got a new rose. Call me the floor. Yeah, my girl's fucking great. The house is great. I just moved into that. I know that house is doing his house. You ever been to his house? No, he's never invited. I never been invited. Oh my God. That sounds I thought Lewis from two hours ago was sitting here. My fucking ass hurts. From what? Getting fucking in it. You're fucking. You're from what getting fuck it is yeah fuck it and peg by your new girl for this your rose begging you yeah yeah I mean

Starting point is 01:48:09 so is the one the one shiny moment from last year the best for the highlight highlight the highlight highlight I mean his house is sick do you really have a sick house oh yeah it's got a built in pool but a perfect size

Starting point is 01:48:24 what's it have COVID is that sick it's got a built-in pool, but a perfect size. What do you have, COVID, a separate? A little lighten pit. Sick. He's got the houses, like all modern. It's all new. It's not like old. Everything I do, I do. You know what honestly, the highlight of my year?

Starting point is 01:48:37 Yeah, truly. I don't know. James winning his gold tournament. Oh, that's all gold medal in Jiu Jitsu. Oh yeah, that's when I sent the video that you didn't show. Yeah, dude. You know what what I want to change my thorn I fucking made a video for a boy and it never got shown to me I show it to him actually you're showing when he's a man and he goes who's this queen?

Starting point is 01:48:55 Can you know if that was that was I'm sorry. You're right I was looking for that photo. Oh, it was growth, but um The drill. Yeah, you're gross. Oh Of course. Yeah, that was pretty fucking great. It was incredible And literally the best moment as a father like it just I I never given a shit about fucking Winning at sports what I'm loving a Bobby's reaction to Dan's nose the noise noise He just made a funny noise and Bobby made a face. I was very funny. It was the fucking best

Starting point is 01:49:25 You just watch my son. Well, I didn't give a shit about sports even I was happy and proud I actually went out my way to do something nice for him. It was Crazy Guys, he's doing another one of my favorite coming to the tournament. I'll come you'll fucking you'll come all I'll come these kids did they're on the mat Joe's gonna show up in basketball shorts like a strip club to last night or the last dude last night I came in James was face timing with a girl. Whoa you came in James face What he was face time what we were they talking? I do know for a second days like life is his girlfriend now

Starting point is 01:49:54 But what was he doing he's face timing with a girl so what? Ken was he she helping him with I didn't face time with a girl until it was like 35 because it wasn't invented. Yeah I mean I just wasn't talking to girls in the finish and strung Got you am you are you're closing out here. What are they talking about tell us Swift? Um Bobby sitting that one Trying to call like kid gay. No, I like tell us with it. Yes, it's very popular name three songs Shake it off. Okay, shake it off to and shake it off

Starting point is 01:50:24 There we go. Oh, that's very popular. Name three songs. Uh, shake it off. Okay. Shake it off too and shake it off. There we go. Oh, that's her. Yeah. Oh, seriously, I don't know. I always think, sit you bigot, but that's not. That's Kelly. I love Kelly Clarkson.

Starting point is 01:50:36 She's my favorite. She really is. She has like the best besides Mariah, the best contemporary Christmas song, which is what? What is it? What is it called? How does it go? That noise? Flip that noise and play it over again. You know it is. We've tried to sing it in a way.

Starting point is 01:50:52 No, no, no, no, no. Play the Kelly Clarks in Christmas song. It's very popular. You can't. What is golf? YouTube. It'll be fine. We'll talk over it, dude. Hey Siri, play Kelly Clarks in Christmas. Son. Song. The hoof. Pills of a picture of your dad. That's it. I never heard of it in my life. This stinks. That's not the song.

Starting point is 01:51:14 That's it. Is it Kelly Clarkson? No, you come up with it. Now. Hey Siri, play Kelly Clarkson. Can't speak. Kelly Coxon. Shut up.

Starting point is 01:51:24 If I get my gay porn names Kelly Cox. Hey, Siri Hey, Siri, play Kelly Clarkson's Christmas song Dude this is we still have to do seed No, no, no, dude Christmas is not her when it any this is her when This is what song am I thinking of I don't fucking Dude my seed is the end of the show god damn your right brother god damn are you right brother? brother Seed is the end of the show god damn you're right brother god damn are you right brother brother? Did I chill dude what is this I'd rather you start looking for your father again

Starting point is 01:52:18 I want to hear an antelope go. I want to look for mine after I kill myself Yeah, this one. Yeah. So much. This is your road. This is a great song, dude. I have this album. That's pretty cool. I have the album cover.

Starting point is 01:52:32 That's pretty cool. Your rose was your girl in your house. Your pool. James is one of the most beautiful songs in the world. James is a huge moment. It was a huge moment for me. You just... How are you?

Starting point is 01:52:41 I'm a huge fan. I'm a huge fan. I'm a huge fan. I'm a huge fan. I'm a huge fan. I'm a huge fan. I'm a huge fan. You're a pool. No, James. James was one of the most games. That is bullshit. It was a huge moment as a moment for me. But you fucking, you just,

Starting point is 01:52:49 how you make it this about you? What was it? How is it not about me? Explain that. It's about his kid. Exactly. And I made a nice message that he ignored. Explain to me how his tournaments

Starting point is 01:53:04 not about me. He just tried. Three thousand milligrams. Yeah, what's your, oh, you did it. We all did it, right? Let's do seed as quick as possible. My seed is, I taped an hour in Portland. I'm excited. What?

Starting point is 01:53:18 Put it out in March. You? Yeah. On what? Netflix YouTube? I'm gonna put it on YouTube for free. Yes. For the people. And my podcast called Sodor, which is, you can download everywhere,'m gonna put it on YouTube for free. Yes for the people And my podcast called Soda which is you can download everywhere which Lewis will be on in January good great podcast great podcast I'm so much fun. I'm pumped to see the special. Yeah, I just I taped I taped about 47 minutes gonna put it out for free on YouTube. Yes

Starting point is 01:53:41 I haven't put out shit in a while. So there you. I'm pumped hell yeah, damn I'm not just a client I'm also a fan we love you. What's that I can't wait for that. Thanks, dude. It's great Joe, what do you got seeds seed well? Seed Seed that's a that's a your dude old carlin See that's a word. I feel like it was a little Daniel plane view from people I'm abandon my boy. I abandon my boy Now you understand a crawl you look like a

Starting point is 01:54:11 That's good. I feel like I might have you beat on Daniel plane. I think you do can I say so cross You don't have a beat on No, you don't Look shake. Are you I pick it up now you do it. That's good. Now you do it. And don't not do it to let him win because you're cool. I have abandoned my boy. It's you. I have abandoned my boy.

Starting point is 01:54:29 No, you haven't seen the movie. This is the only reason I have an advantage is I've seen this movie for 300 times. I've seen the movie for 300 times. I don't think I'm going to see it. Let me finish my sentence. I've seen it more. What are you going to do? Compute with me.

Starting point is 01:54:41 You know how autistic I am when it comes to film. I've seen the movie for 400 times. Yeah, but he's better at the character. I am a false prophet and God is a superstition. Thank God. That's pretty good. Oh, this is my strike. It goes all the way down and drinks your milkshake. It's getting better, but it's the wrestler.

Starting point is 01:54:58 It's 100%. I drink your milkshake. I drink it up. I drink the blood of lamb from bandis track. Is this devil's devil's advocate devil's advocate? Yeah devil's advocate is she's got it has No, that's the other one. That's a heat. Yeah. Are you Satan? No, I'm our patino. That's what he says right? I go see goes Names And then he does it. I might have to watch devil's advocate never advocate naked Charlie's their own

Starting point is 01:55:28 My seed is getting back on the road. I'm excited to get back out there. I got diamond that you see in his dad I'm five years run. It's yeah me too. Yeah, I'm not joining the club. I've been diamond. I get upgraded join in the club. I'm in diamond. I get upgraded. I'm diamond. I'm diamond. What's up? What? What do we call Delta? Sky miles. Sky miles. I'm diamond. What do you take the bus? I'm diamond. I'm diamond. I'm diamond. What's up? What do we call? Delta. Sky miles. Sky miles. I'm diamond. What do you take the bus? I'm diamond. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky miles. Sky Okay, so you're not diamond I went Unibody Jesus Christ there is a war going on Won't full Christmas Your platinum. What does that mean? You're below us is that's probably my assumption. It's a the It means you're not platinum gold silver Devil without a cause I'm going diamond in United as you diamond no you

Starting point is 01:56:29 United is embarrassing yeah you know it is is meant to believe they did I'm at a new work so I have a whole that's bad too I have a whole I got a few new works in my cock I'm frozen up I saw that. How's your ween do? Shhh. What was your seat again, Dan?

Starting point is 01:56:51 My seat is my special. Special. And yours is your kid? No. No, it was getting back in the road. I missed the road. I've been really sleepy. Haven't been able to go on the road.

Starting point is 01:57:01 Life sucks now, but I'm looking forward to next year. Here we go. 2024. Bobby, what's your seed? My seed, I'm actually, I've been for a couple years been working on this. Go to comedy camp thing. And it's finally coming to. An ad, we're going to film it probably an ad for two we're gonna we're gonna

Starting point is 01:57:26 film it probably is the end of the summer. What are you in there? Am I in it? Um potentially yeah. Well that's what is Joey? No because no no no no I'm not it. He's not it. No. I was saying when you cut me from your movie. Oh right. Yeah. Yeah. What is comedy? Cut this motherfucker right here. There's um it's I um I actually raised money. It's gonna be filmed in Canada. What are you doing? You could use this if you want five comics out into the woods for five days.

Starting point is 01:57:54 Like me like I you know, we do yeah, Bush boys. We go out in five days. No nothing. No electricity. No nothing. Just each other, that's gonna go well. And they have to do a bunch of tasks and... You're creating a reality show. And you're, yeah, but it's with comics. Five days in the woods with nothing. Do you have the five comics? Yeah. And then your verse? Make them diverse. You better have a black one, dude.

Starting point is 01:58:17 Russell Peters. Nice. Really? Jim Norton. I like it better the first time when it was called the Cabin with Birk-Rasher. Oh! Yeah, but it's not. They're actually gonna be... There's gonna be no electricity. I like it better the first time when it was called the cabin with bird christian. Oh Yeah, but it's not they're actually gonna be there's gonna no electricity and the cameras with a shoot there. It's like a loan Alone meets like you know like a reality and its

Starting point is 01:58:41 The meetings aren't together. They're alone and it is Russell Peters gym, Norton who else we we're looking at best-selling And me and you that's four. Who's the fifth? Um, well, you have Russell, Kim, Beth, and you. We have, um, Jimmy Porter. We have Kevin, uh, not Kevin, um, uh, Fini is gonna be, uh, Mike. Mike Fini's gonna be a Mike Fini alternate type of thing with it. Mike.

Starting point is 01:59:02 Yeah, Mike Fini. Not your friend, Luis, I got this. No, no, you absolutely have a potential to be in it. Potential to be in it. Mike Fini not your friend Louisier go is no Do you know you absolutely have a potential to be in it potential to be in it Mike Fini's in it Yeah, Mike Fini Let's take a season three for you damn dude You might be the shitster that they bring in on reality shows halfway. Yeah, dude I mean the guy who like backstabs everybody. Yeah, you are I'm like I'm not here to meet friends Yeah, we'll go with what we're just going we're we have here to win dude

Starting point is 01:59:23 We got the money to shoot the pilot. The fuck you got Bobby to bear trap. That's awesome. Yeah, we we got a grant from Canada. Nice. Just shoot the pilot. Grant Gordon's gonna. We have we have we have Well, those comedies involved well until their money gets shown being ripped in half. Yeah, that's what I'm fucking clean that one up with you. Oh, what was that about Bobby? Hey, Bob, you literally I'm talking told like hey, bud. You're fucking ripped down money, bud. Not cool. What was that a baby?

Starting point is 01:59:51 I think you got a bad I hope the show he just fucking beat you down low and I go. Hopefully works out. I hope to show that finally ending of it. But yeah, I hope it succeeds. I hope that gets reviewed and it gets an a Yeah, EH I hope that gets reviewed and it gets an a Yeah Mr. Rogan, is down barrel, am I down barrel? Mr. Gillis, is it a ball of Mr. Gillis?

Starting point is 02:00:29 You gotta promote your special card. Yeah, I guess right. Just in March, as long as you know, there's forgiveness. Are you okay? I think what's wrong? He's gone retarded. What happened, dude?

Starting point is 02:00:37 This was loose. He was just staring at my thigh. This was loose going up. Oh, what's wrong with you, dude? I might make a duck for Christmas. What? You're gonna make a duck? Duckle along? You should duck right now. What's wrong with you? I make a duck for Christmas. What? You're going to make a duck, duck alone. Dude, you should duck right now. What's your seat, dog?

Starting point is 02:00:49 You're funny. You would have just pegged me right between my eyes. I know, but I'm too slow to react to it. But I pictured hitting the TV and Bobby being like, that was supposed to be Max's birthday gift, dude. I don't do that really anymore. You don't do, you changed. I haven't. I don't really snap like that anymore. Honestly, except the Lewis.

Starting point is 02:01:08 It's more enjoyable. Uh, Lou, what is your seed? The fuck does that mean? It means you were a monster 10 years ago. Like this one under a block. And you're much better now. It's way better to be around. I am.

Starting point is 02:01:20 Lewis go. My seed. He's fucking well. Well, he's on fucking 2000 milligrams. Bobby. I've smoked weed every day since I was 15 I can't handle more than 40 milligrams He's on 2000 Why are you winking and sexy you like the goatee? Yeah, yeah, I don't like it I want you to have a mustache thanks. I'm gonna see you a mustache

Starting point is 02:01:40 And mustache you really want to flu can you give us your seed? Most I'm a star she really want to flu. Can you give us your seed? Can I or will I? Lewis is seed one of the MMA tournament That's fun. Oh, yeah, you want to fight. I did want to fight. I should have been your rose god I watch my son fucking when it goes metal and you just was so much better Was it was great the you know, that was a fun moment. That was it was great. The, you know, that was a fun moment. Yeah, guys, you did this part.

Starting point is 02:02:08 We did this part. Fun moments. Q. So I'm going to get a fun. We don't care. We might be part of the dad again. You brought it up about your father. Maybe care. Maybe care.

Starting point is 02:02:17 About your dad. What's your seat? Listen, I'm going to stretch this up in two and a half hours. This is the stupidest I have to go. It really is. I must. Why people listen to parks and rec. I don't know.

Starting point is 02:02:31 I have now parks and rec is who? Joe Shane Markinari. That's a good cast. It's great. Honestly, dude, this may be the edible talking. Maybe the greatest lineup ever. It's insane. I got it.

Starting point is 02:02:42 You got the current goat right now. You got the young goat chain gillus. Yeah, the old goat tea right here. You got the old goat. That was great. That was all just a setup for that. That was beautiful. That was nice.

Starting point is 02:02:56 Now hit us with your seed. Ah, my seed. Yeah, hit me in the face with your seed. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, no. If I need one person's comma, it would be Lewis's. It would be the most fucking spicy pork pork. I would probably, if I could dance comma.

Starting point is 02:03:09 Oh, damn, you know, it's too much, he's healthy. Yeah, it's really healthier than Dan, are you, you're fucking, I'm by far the healthiest person in this room, you're leapsen bound. You're on 14,000 milligrams of my list. It's a drug. Mike's comma is going to make you get fucking high.as would make it throw up because the texture is different. Like the first half is creamy and then it gets chunky.

Starting point is 02:03:31 Yeah, you got old cream. Did you come up your eyes and you got blood shot? You get a fucking. I must say one thing, one thing only. You took it too far. What? Yeah, too far. That made me feel unwell.

Starting point is 02:03:43 I feel like Joe's commas, like one of those dangerous fishes in Japan where if you eat it wrong, you can die. Joe's come is like crystal clear. There's no like foggyness to it. Yeah. Because it's just one. You could tap a vial of it and go, that's pure Joe come. I feel like every time Joe shoots a load, there's literally just one single sperm in it. Go on. What are you fucking mad at me? Yeah, you're lucky. Let me in. You're lucky.

Starting point is 02:04:07 I made it to the egg. That section of the show got one laugh and it was Lewis at his own joke. Yep. That's alright. We're just being silly pants right now. Do you know what you know? Yeah. I wish you a funny pants.

Starting point is 02:04:19 That was good. I like to. All right. What's you see, Doug? I'm thinking you don't. You don't have to suck at this. You want me to go look for my dad against you have time? I can't believe or still on this. What's up? Do my seed. Yeah, you see what I tried to say

Starting point is 02:04:32 It was the fucking new gas digital platform, but you guys are Not I do it. I'm pumped up I'm fucking I'm gonna wrap it up Dan sort of dot com put a bow on it Baltimore. I'll be at the port January 4th and 5th or 6th. I'll be out there at the 5th and the 6th. There's a 6th and the 7th. Woohoo!

Starting point is 02:04:50 5th and the 6th. Uh, LewisofSkanks.com, January 13th. I'll be at EMS, Pennsylvania, January 25th, 28th, Key West Florida. That's it. Sarah Togas coming up. Pekipsies coming up. Tampa's coming up.

Starting point is 02:05:03 Lots of fun stuff coming up. I'm going to steal that. Brand new tour, the. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that.

Starting point is 02:05:11 I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that.

Starting point is 02:05:19 I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that.

Starting point is 02:05:27 I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna steal that. I'm gonna to build a website for you. I can do that for you. I know it's the ML. Yo, it's not up there. But comedy mothership February 8th through the 10th to come a comedy club January 11th and the 13th, laugh it up, Pekyupsu January 19th and 20th. And what's up there? Pittsburgh improv, March 28th through the 30th.

Starting point is 02:05:35 That's a great, I just got booked back at the mothership. What a great club. Oh, I'm pumped. If you work it, right? Yeah, it's so good, man. I love it. I love all of us weekend. I love the city. I love the club. I love Joe. And I got some fun people coming with Robert

Starting point is 02:05:48 Kelly live.com. Of course, go to punchup.live. My special is up there for free. I have other things up there too that doesn't, uh, I don't have to edit out. It's unedited, funny shit that I don't have to worry about. YouTube or Instagram, fucking shadow banning me, a take and shit down. Punchup.live. Make sure live, make sure you check it out and go to my website. You're going to be in scroll up, fuck face. You don't have my dates. That's past footway. All right, sorry.

Starting point is 02:06:14 Footway in Indiana. I'm going to be a Saratoga Springs. I'm going to meet Chicago, Germantown, Fort Wayne on New Year's Eve. Make sure you get tickets right now. Fort Wayne, India, go back up Fort Wayne, one last hole, Summit City Comedy Club, New Year's Eve two shows. So get your tickets for that. Everything else is robbercatalive.com. Go check out my special. And of course, the 95 podcast that I do. And Bonda Pick with Paul Verzi, Bonda Pick, uh, check that one out.

Starting point is 02:06:45 Hello, Paul. Paul Sofah. I had no one realize podcasts. That's great guy. And of course, Pawn Fire with Big J. Ocasin. We had a great, uh, live... Ah, yeah, I talked to Jacob. Said he was, we went fucking awesome.

Starting point is 02:06:55 It was really good. Jacob Sofah, I need that fucking motherfucker. Yeah, he's great. Really? All right, listen. Uh, you guys, what else? Anything else? You don't want to be a great magic trick

Starting point is 02:07:05 if you pulled up the photo of Bobby's dad on your... Oh my god, that was a magic trick. If you did like a, that'd have been good. All right, we'll see you guys next time. Hey, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, happy new year. And until all good night. It's the regs.

Starting point is 02:07:19 Bye bye. you

Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - The Regz ep #06 | Yankee Swap 2023 | Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, Luis J. Gomez and Joe List

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