Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - The Womenatti
Episode Date: August 22, 2016This week on YKWD: We have Aaron Berg, Mark Normand, and Matt Pavich! Our guests reveal their fear / or lack thereof, of an all-female comedian gossip thread that goes all the way to the top. A local ...comic gets banned from UCB and sparks a discussion that's making national headlines. Sponsored by Draft Kings, Casper Mattresses, and Don't Think Twice (A Mike Birbiglia Film) Watch / Listen, and Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar.
A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa.
Hay que ponerse modo de racón.
¿Eres un dragón?
Soy el dragón de Fireball.
Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball.
Bien, frÃo.
Yo, pues al lÃo.
Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica.
Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night con fireball.
Disfruta de un consumo responsable.
33 grados.
¿Estás listo a Robert Kelly? ¿Qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, Come to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a costifier. This podcast has no rules.
I'm talking to the mic asshole.
I'm sure I've already sent you the recording.
Can I get a mic?
Oh, what's up, fuck?
That was trying to keep it like a comic head.
I have a bunch of guys on.
It's just us sitting down and he happens.
Sometimes it's hilarious.
Sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions.
I love doing it.
Play both sides of the coin. That's how in a hoist, not as you love a part. Sometimes it's 10 no topics no directions. I love doing it
You Want to do you think my podcast is popular? I might affect somebody's life. You never know I'm back. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.? Scrimm on. I'm supposed to be on vacation.
I'm supposed to be on vacation for all of August. I had to take the, yeah, I took August off.
A whole month. A whole month, but I had to do the first week. We had to do the last promo for the
show, Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll. So after that that I was fucking off. I was supposed to
shit out. Friday, Saturday, Sunday, no shows all day off. Wow. What do you do with
yourself? Just writing. I'm writing something. I don't buy it. They're not gonna either.
But so and then I forgot all about it.
All about we had, we have some new sponsors
and we need to do live shows with Moa.
So I had to come in and do an emergency podcast
so I wanna thank you three mother fuckers
for coming in last minute.
Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo,
emergency.
I love a block away.
Yeah.
What's that?
You live a block away.
You live a block away. All right that? You live in Blockway.
All right, so let's go through.
Introduce everybody.
All righty, we have the new Tan and Jack, Aaron Berg.
Got new.
That's what he is all the time.
It's fucking Tan.
No, he's not these Ben, he looks like three Tan now.
Yeah, he can back mohamas.
Oh, mohamas.
Yeah.
Wow.
I can't tell if you look good or look like shit.
I put my head's peeling. And I didn't shave it because I'm a shave it. It'll look more like it's peeling
So I feel like I look like shit. Why don't you shoot some of that oil in there some of that fucking and be like those
Really muskily thinking about it right now some of that fucking what is it essential oil test?
I want some testosterone really checked it into my shoulders. That's what I'd like to do
You look good man. How'd she clock holding up through all these stuff? It's working again
No dick well unlike you
Work every night and nobody to joke
I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I had a day off
But yeah, it's working. No dick pills.
And I was a big advocate of dick pills for a while.
Really?
My eye grad, LaVitra, and now no dick pills.
It's working normal again.
That's good.
Congratulations.
Yeah.
It was the secret.
I think it's dealing with the fact that I got it in the scene rooms and I bang dudes and
then you're like, yeah, I can't see that it's a man because all this team wiping shit under his nose when he's about to come
I Hitler stashed myself
Monogamy I accept monogamy now and embrace it
You and you can't know I have a thing where I can't get it up if I like the girl
That's actually called having a girlfriend.
Yes, it bugs me.
I'll cheat on her.
I'm a rock heart.
Yeah, yeah.
And then with her, I'm like, and I like her.
Yeah, that's because you have respect for her.
You don't want to do the grading shit to her.
I think you're right.
You have a girlfriend?
No, I've had girlfriends before, and it always
happened that we break up, because I'm not getting a bump.
With your wife and a kid.
How do you do it?
Your dick goes back inside.
You still fuck with no pills but less right?
but he only I have a kid when you have a kid you don't fuck
when's the last time it sex? I ain't not talking about it
come on that's how long it's been come on
make a day pick a day a month I'm gonna say three months
I'm gonna say four and a half months I'll go six
I'll go two weeks I'm gonna say a full year it's. I'll go six. I'll go two weeks. I'm gonna say a full year has been.
Wow, you fucking little Indians always on the money.
A year. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no days. I don't know. It's been probably three months. Holy shit. Wow. You don't get angry.
Did she get angry? She's angry, yeah. But here's the thing. Okay, when you have a
first one on the road, I'm gonna go on, I'm gonna go on, you got to cut a lot of those
days out of 30, right? No, no, no, no. What am I fucking Lewis Gomez? No, I work.
I, you know, I'm probably gone Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
So, you know, take a bunch of those days out.
But then when I come home, you know, with the kids,
she's a stay-home mom.
We don't have a fucking nanny.
Oh, wow.
So she's with the kid all fucking day.
He drops him off a camp and then picks him up.
Yeah.
And then at night, Dan Aaron play, blah, blah, around eight o'clock, he starts to wind him
down and go to bed.
He goes to bed, she's got to go and read a story to him.
She's been up since 730.
No nap all day running around with a three year old.
So a lot of times she falls asleep in bed with him and then drags herself to the other bed.
I'm fucking tired too because I'm not the guy who sleeps till noon.
I wake up at around eight or so, he comes in and wakes me up,
so I'm up all day, no nap, whatever the fuck I'm doing,
shows, podcasting or whatever the fuck I'm doing.
So I'm exhausted too.
The last thing in the world you wanna do
when you get home is fucking play with a clit
for 20 minutes or fucking, you know,
get my stinky, sweaty, fucking, you know,
Westchester cocks up. I gotta go take a shower, because I don't wanna fucking, you know get my stinky sweaty fucking you know Westchester
cocks up I gotta go take a shower because I don't want to fucking you know what I mean
yeah and then you come back in but it's it's it's wrong I'm just gonna say that
it's wrong it's a lot of couples do it it happens it's wrong yeah we should be
fucking you should force fuck yeah force fuck yeah well all right right I know
people watching this yeah yeah I said horse fuck. Oh
Because they have a side view of all the UCB people agree with you on
All right, so we're gonna go back to that Mark Norman. Yeah, oh here. Forget we're still doing interest
Mark Norman introduce him. You introduce him. Sorry. Oh, we have Mark Norman here
Everybody good to be here. How you doing buddy? Good. Thanks for having me. But on the road so much, it's nice to be in the city for a minute.
Good for you, man. Good to have you back.
Thank you. I love it here.
How was the, uh, did we talk, we didn't talk to you about the roast battle on your.
No, whoa. Well, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what and uh... what you getting your own head about just uh... it's it's i like the road if you're in the stand you've been to the stand
how they do it i've been there yeah i like how they do it because i feel like it's
more of a community the you can make some inside jokes and personal stuff
and uh... here it's just got to be broad
and like one point called me an uber driver i'm like but i'm not and that's
that's a false premise like at the stand i feel like i would bomb you know
but this is you got to be got to play to the crowd and that fucked me a little bit
and also he got what is it what you know, but this is you got to be you got to play to the crowd and that fuck me a little bit and also
He got what is it? Yeah, what is it go first twice, but that's a whole another that we heard about that
Yeah, and that's just like some fucking thing that Jeff was like oops. Yeah later. He apologized some fucking
I smoked too much weed. What'd you say some fucking like hey this kid opens for me like I'm
Oh, Tony does. Yeah, well, controversy.
I think they're closer.
He's closer to Jeff than I am to Jeff.
So I know.
So purpose, I think it was on purpose.
I mean, it was clearly like, you go first again.
I was like, why?
And even Brian Moe is like, why?
And he's like, I just like you going first.
Like, what do you think?
What do you think?
I did a little, you know?
Come on.
Give him a fake reason.
Yeah, so don't that hurt.
Did you lose? Yeah, I said a joke, and then he had a rebuttal. And he can't really beat a rebut little, you know, come on give a fake reason. Yeah, so that was that you lose Yeah, I said a joke and then he had a rebuttal and he can't really beat a rebuttal, you know his rebuttal was, you know
It was it hit hard. Yeah, it was
I don't know Tony so it was another thing you're writing
You don't know yeah most people like you seem like you guys really didn't like each other well first of all
I don't know how far we want to dig into this, but apparently nobody likes this kid.
I got like 18 emails saying like, I hate that motherfucker.
You got a beat him, you got a beat him.
Nobody likes him.
First of all, can I just say something?
I might, 18 emails is not, you know,
they sound like Lewis Gomez,
to my podcast off the chain.
I got 18 people said,
we're, now random people, I don't know, are hitting me up.
Like, 18 emails is this guy. That seems like a lot to me
Well, it seems like a lot, but it's really not
Comic-E-Mail from other comedians not comments other comedians who live in LA and know him
I don't know. I don't know. I've met him one time. He was nice to me. You let 18 people down like I know
That's like I got my head I feel like I had to wait. I don't know.
Anyone there?
Deepu?
No, I don't know.
I don't know.
He seems like a pleasant nice and I've got I don't really know
him that well.
We've never really hung out.
All right, but you didn't there you didn't like backstage was
it weird?
Not at all.
Not at all.
We chatted we hung out at backstage and I was.
I fuck his girlfriend.
You know, normal stuff.
I think he's I don't think he's I don't know.
I have no idea. I don't really stuff. I think he's, I don't think he's, I don't know. I have no idea.
I don't really know the guy, but he comes across as a little,
maybe a little conty, but that's his thing.
I don't think it's, I don't think it's like he doesn't like you.
I would imagine, you know, because he's friends with a lot of people too
that I know.
Yeah, I'm friendly with.
So if you have friends with people that I'm a friend with,
you can't be a total asshole.
Because I'm, I must be a fucking asshole.
Right here.
I don't know, that's weird.
But you're right, I think it's his thing.
And then it's like Jell-O-Nec, he's not actually.
Yes.
You know?
Yeah, he's sitting there.
Yeah, he's like, yeah, he's just like a good guy,
but that's his thing.
He's kind of a dick, right?
Right, right.
That's such a weird thing to that be your thing.
It's funny.
He's got dick is funny.
Being that tone or that character or that type,
you know, look, you're probably enhancing it
a little bit for stage or in your joke.
Right, right.
You know, it's kind of funny.
I saw him at, at, at,
JFL, he was fine, he made me laugh a little bit.
Who was it, Jell-Eck?
No, the hinge clipper.
Oh, oh, oh. I'd be just next hilarious.
He's eyes so quick.
Yeah, just next fastest motherfucker.
One of the better.
I mean, you know, he came to the table one night
instead of smashing me and I wanted to choke him.
You know, you know,
when a guy gets you to where you want violence,
you're like, I'm gonna fucking choke you.
And he hits that core.
You're like, oh, I thought that too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but your mom.
Right, right. He's like, no, your too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but your mom. Right, right.
He finds his mom.
Oh, yeah, exactly.
But he finds those things that you were insecure about
and he pulls them out of you.
He's great.
Yeah, he is great.
And then we got fucking Jesus Christ.
This kid looking kid.
Would you find this twink?
Yeah.
Probably went around the village.
You fucking go to Staten Island,
where you see fucking hanging on a bridge with all his friends from Queens
You look like the guy who would play Scopo in the movie
Like the better version
The blue paddays were tough
I was over the lantern freeze and blocking people in that Kelly for Stuka called me up and says she couldn't make it.
Yeah, I knew.
The opportunity of a lifetime.
As I do, it was take enough from Louis Gomez,
Jola and Anzada.
So I call my mom.
Next thing you know, I'm driving Bobby Kelly
all around the city.
I made it.
I actually spot on it.
Jesus.
I was about to get the whole podcast,
then depo stepped in.
I was just about to sell my ass on Craigslist.
Mapavage, everybody.
Mapavage.
Are you Italian, Jewish, what are you?
My father is Croatian, and my mom is Italian and Haitian.
Oh!
There was Wapenfall. That's a spicy shit. What's that little
meatball? So you look, I mean, you look full fucking on you, you know, Gensel, you look.
Yeah, I get Jewish a lot. Are you get Jewish? Yeah. I'd say Italian. I get everything.
I'm like everything bagel. Do you know that, likes a nice, good looking guy with a big nose?
Buddy, I sure did audition.
So, fingers crossed.
This guy exactly walks up, he's so confident.
He walked right up to me and Dave, hello, how are you?
I'm Matt, I'm on your show today.
And then, I mean, I go, he's great.
I get a lot of confidence.
Yeah.
He's getting a lot of shit, yeah.
What do you mean, he's getting a lot of shit?
What do you get like, shit? I'm on MTV show, I'm on a lot of shit. Yeah, what do you mean he's getting a lot of shit? Yeah, I'm on MTV show right New York's funniest
New York's Hockey me on New York's funniest one. He won it. I won it. You want it? Yeah
Shouldn't Louis CK win that
Yeah, yeah, they're a list in front of him before no fans
But I'd say they've been sarcastic.
David tell my fucking yeah, that list.
It sounds super sarcastic.
People bring me up like that.
This is New York's funniest.
It's like, no, I'm not.
Well, that one, the other competition, that competition.
A bunch of people, the people in the finals.
No, who would ran it?
Carolyn's for the festival.
It's a good, it's a good alumni.
I want it.
Hey, one soda one. S want it. Hey, what a honor.
Soda wanted.
Shade for God.
Shade for the world.
Shade for the world.
Shade for the world.
Shade for the world.
Shade for the world.
No, no, no.
Samarral.
You're just naming guys.
You're just naming that group.
Come and just can't even get AIDS.
Boom.
Damn.
Oh, AIDS kills.
All right.
I'm not here apparently.
I was bombed with it. All right. Not here apparently.
I was bombed with it.
All right, well, I mean, that's a pretty fucking...
I'm eating a banana on...
Because I got an email from somebody.
Do you have a banana on your shirt, by the way?
Oh!
I mean, look at Reala's escape the zoo!
I'm eating because I got a because I got a fucking delay.
Bobby look angry about it and then everybody else wasn't sure.
Well, I actually laugh, it's actually silent.
I like that.
That was good.
I got a big email from somebody or a tech.
Some type of dude, you gotta stop eating.
It is the, I mean, I'm ruining this guy's life
by eating on a microphone.
I'm, like he, I'm ruined, like he is a fan,
loves the show, but he's done.
Some people have a condit, like that really blows their mind.
Yeah, well go see somebody.
Yeah, don't fucking, don't make me fucking do
the exact show you need.
Oh, sometimes I get peckish and I need a banana or something.
You don't always eat though.
You don't always eat though.
Thank you.
That's why I fucking love you.
Because you stick out for me.
I will.
I will say, I heard a pilot on the loud speaker eating
and that kind of threw me.
And he was like, all right, we're going to pull it up.
I'm sure we're going to get it.
Seven knots.
He might have been given it.
Yeah, but I was like, what are you eating up there, your pilot?
And it kind of freaked me out.
Well, I want to talk about this film
that's coming out.
It's called Don't Think Twice.
Oh, yeah, for writer-director, comedian Mike Babiglia
and Ira Glass, the creator of American, this American
life comes this new comedy, don't think twice. This is the
second collaboration between these two guys. Mike and Ira has
his successful directorial debut. Sleepwalk with me, the
critic, critically acclaimed
Show that they had a movie they had it's it's it's it's as soon as you watch this trailer as soon as it opens up
You you start to giggle and as a comedian too
You you you you're mean to leave this something about it. You're like, oh, this is gonna be good. You know when you see a trailer, and you're like, this is gonna be good,
especially a comedy,
because you can tell if it sucks, right away,
or you tell if it's gonna be good.
And this one's gonna be good.
Actually, he's got 99% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Jesus, right.
I'm not sure to be honest.
Check this out.
It's crazy, right?
99% on Rotten Tomatoes.
New York Times critic pick,
Michael Phillips
of the Chicago Tribune calls it
one of the best movies of the year.
Fandango Raves, it's a perfect movie
about the cost of chasing dreams.
EW calls it a love letter to improv.
Don't say nothing.
And Mark Olson of Los Angeles time calls it unexpectedly,
unexpectedly moving.
The village voice says it's the funniest comedy
of the summer All-Star cast includes Keegan Michael Key.
He's good.
Real good.
From Keegan Peel.
I can't fucking tell you how amazing he is.
Yeah, yeah.
Man, he fucking makes me laugh that guy.
Gillian Jacobs, Mike Bab, but Biglia, Chris,
Gethard, Kate, McQ, what is that?
McQucci.
And Sam, Tammy, what is it, Sarah?
I don't know.
Right there, read that.
Oh, shit.
I'm not sure you're going to play the clip of this movie.
Tammy Sager.
You know what?
I think I can relate to it right out of the gate.
And you can watch this.
Because we're all trying to do this.
We're all have a fucking dream.
We all have this thing that we're trying to get.
But we don't know what it is.
We have no idea.
You don't know what it is. You don no idea. You don't know what it is.
You don't know if it's a movie, or if it's a TV show, if it's an hour special, if it's
selling out, if it's fame, if it's the garden, if it's just a comedy club or a small theater.
You don't know what the fuck, you know that you want to reach as many people as you can
with what you do.
And this movie kind of is all about that nice So let's play the let's play this clip right now if you if you're watching this you get to see it if you're listening to it
Go right now you go to YouTube or go to if you have your iPhone and it's called don't think twice and it's
I'm actually I can't wait to see this movie looks great. Let's watch this trailer right now
Why my Japanese remember when you said please tell me when I'm racist. Yeah, I know those are one of those
Commune in probably an art form unto itself
The most important thing is don't think you don't think you don't memorize you don't get paid so true But isn't that kind of fun?
Are you working right now or you're flying for anything?
An employment?
Homicide chips?
Homicide chips?
You pick one person you see the first thing about them that comes to your mind Connor go your fat your dangerous
Real slow
The scammer is my feelings it's's the great paradox that we can lie.
Is was it good?
Have you done it?
No, I've said that in your audition.
I think that.
I could have too thin.
He's bringing producers from We Can Lie.
Hey Jack, from Post-M show, but you know you always do that.
Anyone from the industry shows up
you turn into a one-man audition team.
It's a new program we're working on right now
called Caps for Dance. but my critics like to call it
Obamacare.
Okay, we will be there.
Hey, we're auditioning on Thursday for Weekend Live.
Congrats, man.
Thanks, man.
Oh, yeah, audition for the shoot in 2003.
I was anxious.
I was like, I can't take it anymore.
I gotta focus on me.
I'm gonna get the job a weekend long.
I was thinking about doing general Rollins as an empire.
Okay.
Get up.
By me, it's me and this.
If it's money that you're looking for, I've got none.
I've used all of it.
The last six times my daughter's taken you.
I don't accept that as a problem.
No! I like my life, how it is right now.
You can't do RIPPOP forever, okay?
Just, it ends.
Your twins are all about hope,
and then your 30s are all about realizing
how dumb it was to hope.
It's my room.
Where you going?
Like 40.
I just turned 36. We all said we were the same on it. Everybody's being a professor, gotta go.
All right.
That looks good.
It's really good.
It's at heart.
It really does.
It looks fucking great.
I wonder what weekend live is.
I don't know.
I think it's like SNL.
Yeah.
I swear I praise that.
Now that makes more sense.
I was a mad TV
Because if you look at that movie though, we can all sit here and pick who that guy is who that girl is
You know dance odors fucking
You know what I mean, I mean and that happens. I mean you got these
You got to even think about do you ever think about guys you came up with that kind of moved on from comedy?
All of them are moved on from comedy. Yeah, yeah
Beyond you. I don't know what you well. I tell you when we first I started an improv group back in Boston called Al and the monkeys
And they had a little guy in it called Dane Cook. I don't know if you're
Right. Yeah, and I remember we were doing shows
I would book these shows. I I think, a couple of years.
I would, I was the manager slash, I would book them, I'd set everything up, I'd make
the flyers and we rehearsed, like, four days a week for three hours a day.
We really worked our fucking asses off and we got to the point where we were headlining, we go in and we'd all
do ten minutes of it stand up and then we do an hour of this improv and we
would kill everywhere we went, we were making money, we were getting known and
then somebody we all went to New York and
Dane booked some to sprite commercial something and then he went and he did something
Somebody saw Alamunki's tape and saw Dane and then Dane came to New York
I think it was jesus Steinberg and when he was working for Barry cats and he had him come in and do a show tried to bury him
Tried to bury him on a shelf. We'd be put on before everybody everybody
All those guys wow
Brewer tried to bury him and he didn't just annihilated at the end noise and
And then I remember we had a gig read I hop and he was like we had a we had a gig and I
Was a guy man. He's like listen guys. I can't I can't do it. I got my own gig
It was our gig was for 500 bucks back then that was a lot and he goes yeah my gigs for 500 bucks
And it's like I was like a shit should have made a movie should have made the movie
Yeah, I know I think this is what know I'm kidding
But yeah, he was like, and that was it.
I was like, we should call it now.
Because if you're getting the $500 gig now,
there's no way, why would you fucking ever come back to this?
Yeah, damn.
And we broke up that night.
It was the end of the life.
And I'm really, really very, very,
level-headed and simple.
Really guys, you should.
That's the thing is, man, how, okay, your friend gets success, gets what you
want.
What do you do?
But that's how people work.
Make fun of rich people.
They're all trying to get rich.
But what do you do?
What it does?
You get older, you get happy for them and you know that everybody moves at their own level
and they'll always be someone ahead of you and somebody below you.
Yeah, but it's still hard.
But it's still hard.
Yeah, but it's still hard.
It's still hard. It's until the start.
It's my only guy.
I always people had here.
I know you people would be having here.
But I think yeah, what can you do?
He did the right thing.
You're trying to be successful.
He made it.
Let him go.
And then you work on your own shit.
Who else was in it?
Al Delbendi.
He's actually doing, he moved to Australia, Melbourne.
And he's out there, fucking, I don't know what he's doing.
I guess he's doing comedy, but...
Bang in Fistuka.
Yeah, it's weird. And the other guy in the group, it just works.
He went back to school and became like an architect, so some shit.
He's making about like three homes and God has mother out of the projects and
Like you know, you see the monkey of the blood. We were the monkeys
I mean it seems like a great movie it does it's weird within problem though
It seems like there really is only that one goal of weekend live and not getting caught raping right?
We can live as mad TV there there's fun in your diet,
as he's back.
Is it?
All kinds of outlets.
CW has Matt TV.
Like new.
New.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They reboot.
I don't want to go cancel.
No, no, they're coming back with that.
That's coming back.
It's actually back here.
That's great.
Yeah, I mean, but I think improv is you know comedy acting
yeah more you know it's just so yeah so that's where they go for that because
that's what s n l is that's what and movies and in comics i
historically known for being shitty actors because we spend so much time on
set up punch tag and we're on the road that we don't
fucking act at all but there's zero improv in SNL right like it's just not well
now there's no they like you have to read what they wrote right so that seems
uh... ironical that you would have a problem improvisers
ironic I know I don't tell me I didn't say it
I know fuck it me like I fucked up half-wop from Queens fucking
I think the Queens word right there you just let go. That was the Haitian part of it
This is not a cool. He's the new cast by the way you want to get up. Oh
Diversity, who is it anyone?
Right. It's a mere I'm here. I feel like Adam Ray is on it. Yeah. Oh, he's handsome. Wow
I was at the gay kid from Jay Leno on the bottom. No
The Jay Leno on the bottom no
Well, it's like all right. You got a lot of shit going on right now, right? What do you got going on? We got MTV?
Why aren't you on mad TV? I should have got that audition I'll talk to my people as soon as I get out of here. See you got people. Yeah, you know how long you're doing comedy six months seven years
Seven years. Yeah, do you get an hour? No, you shouldn't have people
seven years seven years yeah do you get an hour no you shouldn't have people well he does I do not think I'm gonna finish my thought he does because he's
super-seated what comics kind of do you fucking with being passing up a
lever because somebody saw you on something and said fuck it let's go yeah
and you must be like what the fuck?
Because here you are busing your ass to be a standoff of a set your your but he comes in
Yeah, and you're like what the fuck you gonna be happy for him
But also you like what the fuck about me, right? Yeah, there's no hells that make you feel it's fine
He's my friend. I'm not gonna my upset about it. Are you happy for him? Yeah, of course. You're not upset about him.
You're one of the monkeys.
Yeah.
This is how he's dang.
I'm not even, how do you feel about passing your friends?
Uh, I mean, we also started a year ahead of me, so.
Oh, stop a year.
Ooh.
So let's make a year today, Scott.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think Michael Chase, five years in.
Yeah.
Michael Chase, so successful, he's never had to do the road
I think he did a stress factory. He won New York's funniest. What?
That's true. What I mean, how does that make you feel? Does it? I mean, do you feel bad?
I mean, you feel bad. The way Scopus going through that, I'm going through that too, right?
There's people that are passing me and superseding me in the same ways. Yeah, people.
He Davidson, that's about it. No, that's not true, man. There's people doing way better me and superseding me in the same ways. Yeah, people David's and that's about it
No, it's not true man. There's people doing way better than I am that started went before I don't think you should I look man You should I feel great. I'm grateful. You should be happy
I think my lucky stars every day. I'm doing comedy in New York City. I'm literally living the dream
So I have no problems with that, but I have minus $850 in my bank account, you know
I'm just a fucking idiot over there
that doesn't know how to spend money correctly.
That Haitian side, huh?
Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
Why you put Jordans in the window?
Yeah, exactly.
I spread that all on sneakers and wheat.
That's fucking weird, man.
It's weird that you're just admitted that on fucking.
I mean, everybody, I guess, yeah,
you're in your own fucking world.
But I'm living the dream.
I mean, I quit my day job, probably prematurely. What was your day job?
I was I was working in restaurants for a long time. What does it mean working in restaurants? I was a server. You know, you're a waiter. Yeah
It sounded good that he went down
I worked at the restaurant business for me and Bobby Flare opened it up a couple places across the country
Started as a barista working in restaurants.
This guy's like a woman from a famous background player in a movie.
You're an extra.
You're a waiter.
I was waiter.
Alright.
Alright, that's cool.
At a time restaurant?
No, I actually worked at cafeteria on 17th and 7th.
Oh my god.
Super fun.
Gay.
Are you gay?
I'm not gay. Don't let the hair fool you but no, I does not gay here. You get great hair
Thanks great hair. Great hair. Great hair is gay. Is there gay?
That's good fun. Nice hair is gay. Yeah, that's funny. Have you ever been with a guy? Never I'm kidding
It's funny. What do you want? Yeah?
Listen, it's funny, what do you want? Yeah.
Only one.
Be a whole different podcast.
Yeah.
And Aaron could come out.
I used to work in assholes.
You used to fuck guys.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
So you're a butt pyre.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A butt pyre.
By the way, you're lucky when you
aired that trailer that certain
goons weren't here.
You think we got a nice crew here today?
I feel like Gomez would have torn that up to pieces.
His Gomez doesn't want to do anything in the business.
Well, that's a good point.
First of all, he should relate to that more than anybody.
What?
Because Gomez, he'll never be on weekend lines.
No, because Gomez, I think, is a hustler.
I think he's...
Oh, he's definitely.
He fucking his busts his ass.
He does a lot of things
He's trying to find his way, but he's also trying to keep what he thinks is him intact
and
But he sees all these other guys just fucking flying by him that he thinks may you know that maybe started with them
Maybe earlier than him, you know, and you know, he should you you know, I mean, anybody, anybody in this business,
especially comedy, should watch that, see that trailer and be like, fuck, that should affect
you a little bit where you're like, fuck, totally.
You're gonna be, you're gonna relate to the people that are making it, the ones that got
the audition and maybe get it, or the ones that are like, what the fuck's wrong with me?
Oh yeah.
I mean, isn't that what this business is?
Yeah, and it's, oh, sorry, you go.
You go.
No, you're most successful right now.
Go ahead.
No, just, you know, the whole like improv stand up beef, I could see how some stand-ups would call that like, you know, sorry, you go no, you're much successful right now go ahead. No, just you know the whole like improv stand-up beef
I could see how some stand-ups will call that like you know true
Especially what's going on all this rapes shit, but it's rapes you don't know about the rapes shit about the rapes
Oh the biggest thing on Facebook. Oh, it's huge on Facebook. No, we're in another one going some open
I was thinking if it did not wait for yes and
Some open might or did not wait for yes and
Guys just stuck it he just took it. Hey you sleeping. Yeah, took what's it?
It's all allegations somebody wrote a yes and wait no means yes and
What what happened all right? So this comic got accused of rape, raping another UCB person.
I think three times, yeah.
One same girl three times?
No, three different people.
Good repeat business.
Yeah.
If you get raped three times, it's called sex.
Yeah.
After the second, third time.
You can't rape somebody three times, right?
Oh.
How do you rape somebody three times?
I mean, you should be 20.
Okay, wait, let's.
You rape her?
Then she falls asleep, you rape her again,
and she dead, you rape her again.
I'm not talking the same night.
I'm talking over a span.
Well, maybe it was a really long scene.
I mean, if you get raped,
I don't think he took a samurai axe.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not getting the cement.
This whole shit, some man.
Give us a location and the thing we're doing.
Someone's gonna fall gonna This bad and rape
But you hell of you repeat everything every word you like
He like a drunken drunk lady in the Midwest in the front row. No, come on
Ironical
So three women yeah, and but it's not he hasn't been
Charges officially and but everybody's not he hasn't been charge officially
and but everybody's just coming at him coming at him
face by what got forbid you bring up a minute we should charge this guy then
you're insensitive
right
go to the police now
no these girls go to the police now
not like so we don't know but master think that's just getting a fucking
you know what
that's just getting it he loves it though
he would have no fucking twitter rant last night
oh really three hours. Wow
All right, what is it bothers me is that when I've read that it's something that happened with rape
I knew exactly whose profiles to go to to find out who the guy was and it's like why are these same people rapy McGillic
Cutty. Yeah, yeah, maybe McGillic Cutty. What do you mean by that?
He's a devil. What you say? I don't want you to get in trouble. No, no, no, there's the same feminist chicks.
Few people on Facebook that are always involved in the super drama, but are never involved
in fucking comedy.
I agree.
And it's like, you know, I don't know.
Just why did I know to go to your page to find out whose name it was?
Yeah, here it is, by the way.
You want to check it out?
I, um, well, here, the thing, the thing that I, I mean, I don't know, I need about this
shit.
I don't know anything about UCB or, I don't know, I have a fucking three year old, so I don't
fucking, you know, I don't have time to find out about this, but if someone's getting
fucking raped, do you, I mean, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you
know the guys?
Yeah.
They out of them on Facebook, yeah.
I know them, but yeah, they out of the, they out of them on Facebook.
They named his name and then
And then what has anybody heard from them? No, no, he did he did send a Facebook
He poured a status saying this is all lies
It's not it's not true. It's false, but then he's denied he deleted it. Whoa. I don't know
He might have got contact with a lawyer saying don't say shit. Yeah damn
There he is so you got to be a certain level of scum to even get accused of something like this Letting go in contact with a lawyer saying don't say shit. Yeah, damn.
There he is.
So you got to be a certain level of scum
to even get accused of something like this.
So maybe it's better off that he's just gone.
Well, look, if you get a, I mean, look,
how do you, someone says they're raped.
I mean, what do you do?
You got to take, you got to act on it.
Yeah, yeah.
You can't not act on it.
And then, you know, I agree, but Facebook
is not the outlet, right? You know, it's just becoming a fucking. It's not the outlet.
It's still wasn't the outlet. 10 years ago, five years ago, it's the outlet now. That's
crazy. I know, but these are, I don't get it like a lot. This is what it breaks down. Do
I agree? Because you, if you're using it, if you're using it for you, fucking your gigs
and it becomes successful, people should be able to use it to tear people down.
Not tear people down, but these people,
if you're coming from these people,
they're not tearing anybody down.
You know, like if Kurt Mezger was defending,
you know, not attacking somebody without knowing for sure,
he has that right too.
You should have.
He should be a, this should, that type of shit
is gonna happen
I agree but he's being labeled as a bad guy yeah I think his life's over his
comedy career is over no matter what happened that's correct that's correct no
no no no no no yeah the other guy yeah the other guy yeah the level of rapist
curve will have an hour on this oh yeah exactly well so this kid was he was
he a standup he was like an open mic guy open mic guy he ran a few shows
so he runs shows and does anybody know any details what was he a standup? He was like an open mic guy open mic guy he ran a few shows So he runs shows and does anybody know any details? What was he doing?
Nothing, I don't know anything. We don't know we don't know details right now
So these people that accused this guy had no nothing nothing, but they just went out and said he raped well
There's a witch hunt that's good. There's like a group of women in comedy that witch hunt as soon as someone says something
They're like that's it
This guy's horrible. He should never work anywhere before they know anything
And then people say yeah people say oh, he should go to the cops and then the women get upset and go do you know
They here's the percentages of how many women actually get tried in car and take the guys to the bed
I bet you not making the face story. I don't want to. I'm a character.
I did what he said.
You can get an SNL.
Yeah, we get a lot.
I love to.
This is my blogger face.
Yeah.
They get upset at the people that say,
oh, you should go to the cops.
No, they shouldn't.
We should just cover it here.
The cops don't do anything.
So that's their defense.
I mean, the cops don't do anything.
So they say they say women go in.
They have to repeat the same story
for months and months and be made to feel worse than they were
than they were when they were ready.
Okay, let's stop something.
But okay, let me play the scenario for.
Women don't like the innocent till proven guilty.
In this course.
You need to get your finger out of my face.
Yes, that's good.
I know you're strong, but I'll hit you with a shovel
or a fucking.
I think
Okay, you took one girl something happens she goes to the cops
She has to go through all the shit. It's humiliating. Yeah, it's fucked up Yes, but this guy is now on their radar, right? And they've go through the case. It sucks for her
It's terrible. This guy this guy knows the cops are she went to the cops. They've come to talk to him and
Then they find out they blah blah. He does. He goes to jail. Aren't they saving me?
Isn't that girl who went through that humiliation or having to repeat the story all that fucked up?
Isn't she saving the next girl from being raped from that same guy?
We would like to think that but but then the next argument is,
well, you don't understand because you're a white man
and you don't understand what it's like to be in fear.
I, you're, okay, but there is, I mean,
yeah, not that they're, I mean, I am a white man
and I don't, I'm not gonna ever get raped, you know,
unfortunately, you know, I'm not, I'm not,
what you say.
No, that wasn't a threat.
I'm like, wrong, we brought you here today. much sure. No, that wasn't a threat. Oh, yeah.
But like, wrong.
We brought you here today.
That'd be fun if you just all rate me a hand.
Well, you need it.
The next thing that happened was a whole bunch of male comics.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
A whole bunch of male comics came out and says that they were
raped.
Male comics.
Oh, and one of them has a horrible
history of making up stories in line.
Is that right? Yeah. Big J. Algrician? No. Oh, one of them has a horrible history of making up stories in line. Is that right?
Yeah.
Big J. Algrician?
No.
He didn't have mittens on while he was mollying.
And then another guy that came up that I don't know to be a liar.
The first guy is a known liar in the community made up a whole elaborate story.
He's like, when I was 18, a woman, I slept with her, and then I said, I have to go to school.
And then she was like, you're not going anywhere. I'm going to get a record. He's a dumb I was 18, a woman, I slept with her, and then I said I have to go to school, and then she was like, you're not going anywhere.
I'm gonna get a record.
You're a chapter again?
He's a dumb busy on the spectrum?
I'm in this game.
I had to go to school.
I think came back to me, and then I said I will not do this.
You got a lot of rain, you got content, a lot of them.
You got a lot of them.
One more character.
But it all just seems like it's for likes.
It all just seems to be. Yes, yes, and that's the thing that throws me
It's like what I swear to God because it's these same people they never post oh look at this cool thing my friends doing
Look at this great sketch one of my female
Comedians made and those things are happening so why don't you ever post anything positive that's happening in the community
You're always just fucking on this witch hunt and and it really bothers me to the core.
I'm a hero, I'm a hero, I'm a hero.
You're a comedian, say a fucking joke.
Funny first, did you move here to be a kid?
Can you give Scobo that pep talk?
I'll slap him right in the fucking face.
Oh, thanks buddy.
Scobo's doing all right, come on.
That's right, Bobby.
That's right, Bobby.
I was talking about the funny part, doing the funny, be funny. Yeah, nice talking to you. So this man. You're not raping me by the man said I know it would be consensual
But the man said that he was right. What would you do if you came in at me and me and fucking Aaron was just making out?
Fucking docking
Couple of pink dumbbells and
I put it on a couple of pink dumbbells and eat gohar. Yeah, I really hope I didn't get home.
He's just holding my titt up and sucking it like a middle-age woman titt.
Yeah.
Oh, your glasses are a skew.
Yeah.
It's a wig just on the table.
No one's using.
Oh, they still banana.
Peace on you.
Yeah.
We got it.
We got it. Look, rape is bad. It's table. Yeah, not picking a side on any of this right now
But because I don't know I did a little research, but I should have done more
I didn't know it was gonna come up. I didn't know this was the talk of the fucking town
That's the problem even though deep who told me it was last night and I totally blew it off
I got through you marry a wife after your rape her. I'll never ever fucking know
you marry a white-wifew rape her. I'll never ever fucking know this. I want a list of his characters. Yes. And then I put them all together for the one-man show. Oh my god, you cannot die. I don't know.
I don't know
So so I mean somebody now that these girls know
Does the girl who is it one girl or a bunch of girls that only it's three girls? Okay, so it's three girls that I'm talking about blogging and the same girls who got 20 20edly got raped of the same people that are blogging about
So the girls that are blogging about it do they know the girls that got raped?
Secret Facebook group of just women yeah post all that yeah, and you have to get like sworn in
And then there's rats that tell
Yeah, there are some snitches and
snitches are always hilarious what is it? stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso?
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¿De partid reference?
¿Awith that?
Yeah, the fucking sixth fucking good Mafium Movie.
Right.
Sorry, the fucking little clown.
No, no, no.
¿Cuales de departad?
Departad del auto.
¿Tambos?
SÃ, aquà es un aso.
¿Verdad?
¿No te copio, tu cocaquiz?
Ah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no're an asshole. Right? You're gonna pop your cock suckers. Not you, not you, and not you.
What are you on your period?
I'm on my phone.
Listen, dude.
So there's, I gotta get this straight, okay?
And please don't name, don't name,
there's a group of women that are on Facebook
that you have to be a, you have to be a,
but there's girls in this group.
Yes.
That,
are rats. Yes. That, a rat.
Yes.
And don't say the funny ones because then,
if it's the funny ones, people are gonna know the rat.
So if there's a broad killing on stage,
and she's a fucking rat.
The girls don't know funny, they don't have it in there. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You know what is your life even know what you are a Massage that's done belt the four characters of a sergeant
Fuck is wrong with you say your foot care of a sergeant is a
Minus big Mike women don't know have things in their brains to trigger a amusement
Listen so they tell you guys what what are they tell you the shit?
Like what who's talking shit about the male comics who fuck the male comics?
So they can they fuck guys inside this chat room. They'll talk about fucking everything
Someone on this podcast has been named
Someone was on this
Inside and wait to stop someone I found out someone you fuck one of the comments
Are you in the right someone I found out someone you fuck one of the comments You and the red I found out
Stop stop stop stop stop you in the group now
Stop oh look at me. Mm-hmm look at me look at my finger look at it follow my finger stay right here
Did you talk to one of the rats? I know a couple of rats. I know a couple of rats. I know a couple of rats. Can we all know a couple of rats? We know some rats.
Yeah.
I know rats on the show!
Yeah!
I know rats on the show!
I know my baby!
I know my baby!
I know my baby!
I know my baby!
I know my baby!
I know my baby!
I know my baby!
I know my baby!
I know my baby!
I know my baby!
I know my baby!
I know my baby!
I know my baby!
I know my baby!
I know my baby!
I know my baby!
I know my baby! I know my baby! I know my baby! I know my baby! I know my baby! Yes, yeah, it's a snitch. There's no such thing as a good snitch. There is a fucking
Delabin easy you
Whatever are you I'm telling you if white males made a group for them only holy
Wow wait a minute wait a minute so there's it's only white females. Oh, it's only I should say only males
I'm gonna race stop doing this
White males had a group on Facebook.
Do you imagine though?
Could you write straight white males?
Okay, but why does it have to be, first of all,
it should be straight males.
Just males, I don't know what,
I think he fucked up.
Yeah.
You mean just guys.
Guys, yeah, I've got.
We're talking, we're not talking race,
we're talking guys against women right now.
Yeah.
If all of us started a group on Facebook
that you had to become a member of, why can't we do that? It would be considered opp now. Yeah. If all of us started a group on Facebook that you had to become a member of,
why can't we do that?
It would be considered oppressive.
Yeah.
Why?
Because it's white.
Why, it's not white, we have black people.
It's men, men, men.
Men, men.
All right.
But stop it.
We're like no man.
We're like Keith Robinson and Marrowin, that's it.
All right.
One girl posted, is it just me or are we just me or my sick of all straight white men?
It's like, how can you say that?
I got like a ton of light.
How do you know that?
I saw it on Facebook.
It's up there, yeah.
Well, can I say something?
Honestly, God.
It's your post on that one too.
In this industry that we're in right now, I mean, white males are the minority.
They're literally saying out loud. That's it.
Fuck you, we want minorities and we want, oh for sure. And then women are complaining about how
hard it is and it's like if you're even a little bit funny, you're getting fucking
crazy. There's a girl talking on my phone. Sorry. Girl yesterday goes, I like your rants, I want
to get them though. She goes, they picked a white girl for standup for diversity over me
That's discussed. No, it's not and I go diversity means everybody. Yeah, she goes now
It's a primitive action. I know it's diversity. I can't she got so pissed off that she wasn't on and she wasn't as funny as the other
I can't even I can't even audition for standup for diversity
Yes, you're good. You should be able to just can't put together two men
But then you need a white male and a group of people that are diverse
Come on. Yeah, right right?
You're not allowed to audition for it. What are you?
Diversity what's the verse about my fucking fat ass girl?
I think it's look I think it's fucking ridiculous because what you're saying
I don't mind you saying we need more minorities.
I don't mind you saying that we need more women in jobs
in our business.
Of course, but why the fuck do you gonna say,
don't give them to us?
Why do you have to oppress exactly what you're asking us
or not, whatever you shouldn't do,
but you're doing it.
I don't understand why the fuck. So what to you have to teach us a lesson or take you're
going to make us suffer? They're eliminating logic because they feel like they
were repressed. So they're saying now it's our turn and we want this.
Listen to the same stories. Listen to the same stories.
Yeah. Yeah. Actually, why it males that have gone through way more shit than than
other people like just because you're a straight white male doesn't mean you didn't
go through anything in life. Yeah. But said women if you look at if you look at fucking a business right now women are on it
Ghostbusters ghostbusters
I mean out of night live fucking yeah, I mean Amy Schumerscho she's on top. Nikki Glaser show range of rising show
Yeah, I mean broad city they want to see there's but but you think ofke and peel what what white guy has a show on comedy such a right now
what
uh...
uh...
that's been there forever
uh...
welcome into forever i'm talking the last three years
cancel that other white guys show will more soft now
uh...
that show suck
but i don't say that
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
should have been canceled in the second week
What got you guys what fucking show is out there even shows with a white host to their foreign?
It's like John Oliver. Yeah, poor and cool. Yeah, well, I guess you got cool bear
What do we got for a bit? What the fuck show is it?
Fallen
Fallen
Okay, pal that's late night though. It's over time. I late night
This is a foul and bad. Okay, foul.
That was late night though.
It's not my late night.
I wouldn't even mind a woman late night guess.
I don't care.
As long as you're funny and you're fucking, I don't care.
It's black, white, woman who gives a fuck.
Right.
Well, that's the thing.
You're not allowed to complain either.
You can't complain.
You're giving everything.
You can give in all of the opportunities.
No one has ever oppressed you.
Does that mean I work with fucking scopo exactly. Yeah, I've been suppressed
Exactly. I've shackled to the ground shack by a fucking
Hundred and fucking seventy pound fucking weight
You went on Facebook right now and said hey, I think it a gig because I'm white that's so unfair
It would blow up. Yeah, but listen. I don't think I don't look I don't
You've established your funny you're talented. We all know it doesn't matter
But what I'm saying is is that I don't I don't mind you I really don't mind them fucking say we want women to have more stuff
I love it. Yeah, let them let them yeah, but that's already known, but don't fucking don't go on and do what you're saying
happened to you.
You shouldn't go and do that back.
I agree.
I agree.
That's like, you know, we don't want and no more racism, but then you're going to, you
know, do the same thing to white people.
Yeah.
You can't fucking do that.
Especially this sounds bad, but there's so many straight white guys in comedy.
We're just prone to do it.
We like go towards it. white guys in comedy. We're just prone to do it. We go towards it.
White guys like comedy.
And so we're the majority,
and we're still getting the least,
which is weird, right?
Well, look, everything changes.
Everything goes through its cycles,
and that's fine.
And you know what, you can have your opportunity,
and what you do with that opportunity is up to you.
So if you, I mean, look at Amy had had an opportunity and knocked it out of the fucking park
Sure
So this you know there's other women that have had opportunity and it didn't go their way
It wasn't because of their woman or or a man. It was because hopefully it didn't work to fuck out and Amy will tell you that which is nice
So I think but it's weird. I don't understand why not a white man thing
I don't I I mean a man thing why can't we start a man group on facebook
it'll seem uh... because it's not
uh... they caught punching down you know you can make one of what's
punching down you're calling a punch down as offensive
wise it down
should we be equal i want to get back to so there's a there's a group of twenty
five comics women comics
more than
okay how many more?
Seven thousand in New York.
I don't know, but it's like every female comic in New York.
We need a black guy.
Not even just real.
Why do you need a black guy?
It'll just ease it a little bit.
It'll cut it.
Yeah.
Well, can you be black?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm part of the group.
Well, that helped the racial.
Do you make it, actually?
Five characters.
What are you? What are you? What's your name? My'm part of the group. Well, that helped the racial part. Do you make an accent? Five characters. What are you?
What are you?
What's your name?
My name is Lawrence.
Lawrence, good name.
Right down the middle.
Lawrence, how do you feel about this woman's group on Facebook?
I really despise it.
I mean, I don't think it's a necessary thing.
I think that as a group of men,
we should be able to formulate our own group.
When I went to Harvard, we had a group
where we all played across every Saturday.
I'm sorry, what did you just say?
I went to Harvard.
What's what's Harvard?
Harvard.
School.
I mean Hartford?
Harvard.
Do you write for the nightly show?
I do.
I thought it was munching down.
So.
So.
So.
So.
What are you doing?
What the fuck is with the nunchkin?
I'm so hot.
I'm so hot.
I'm still hot.
There's our black guys using a towel.
There you go. I'll run the light. so hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot that just trying to like these you know they smart enough to know that this they're in there because you're a
woman comic but they're like these these people are fucking nuts I think their
minds are blown like I can't believe this is happening and I'm a part of it
but I don't really want to be isn't this insane why would you be a part of it if
you don't want to be a part of it you just in the Facebook group once you're in
you're in you're in you can't get out how do you get in you gotta be a you gotta be
asked so the who asked who's the who's the leader of this I could take some guess
Yeah, I could take some guesses too. Oh, I take some guesses
Can I say something they were very powerful group Bobby you can't just snitch on them. I feel like it's the mob
Yeah, I really feel like this is the new bomb caught you you won't be able to play UCB or the Creek
Yeah, it's the right way Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Cut, guys.
We're back guys.
I'm sure she's in it.
She's good.
I like her back.
How could you not play the Creek when Rebecca owns it?
She's fucking sweet.
If you go against the group, you're out of the creek.
How you kidding me?
Big, room and small room.
No mics, no paying to get on stage, no drinking, no doing coke at the bar.
Are you doing a duck bar? Is that another character to add duck to his character?
Oh, this guy's unbelievable.
He's blowing up today.
So this is really scary shit.
It is.
I mean, you guys are fucking talking.
You guys are fucking...
Oh, this is already bad. We're already fuck I think
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, this is bigger than this is there's
Clinton and a fucking robot on buddy mark. Are you really seriously scared?
I'm not worried. I mean I'll get a couple tweets and Facebook, but it's it's all a chore
I don't want to deal with it. It's just too much leave me alone. I'm trying to be a comeded. I write jokes
Which is why that I know a girl a rat quote unquote who got kicked out of the group
She said hey if you guys stop complaining a right jokes. I know this is a career
Now
You can name her now. She's scary. I am fucking petrified. Yeah, this is this is like crazy scary shit Duke lacrosse to your you're scared of a group of people on a Facebook page because of what they can do to you
Duke lacrosse to which text that we have but you really don't gonna name names. Did you see the name?
I don't name names. You won't name name. I would never they can start you on the fucking feet. Yeah
Airberg used to pimp a Persian girl
So they really do they lie?
They just oh that's true. I can't play a woman work. I don't think they like
She got to keep 20 cents of every dollar. I don't think they'd like to keep 20 cents of every dollar.
I don't think they'd like, but they do Lynch mob.
They Lynch mob, yeah, they're Lynch mob.
One person posted, it's Bible,
and some of these people are not all there,
and you can't just run with whatever one person's saying.
Well, can we take them down?
I did.
Yeah.
That's what UCB guy tried to do.
I don't have time.
By the way, UCB is gonna get an ass full.
They could get sued for slander.
Yeah.
But fuck the, why are they involved?
Because they kicked the guy out and accused him of rape.
Did they accuse him out in the open on social media?
Yes.
They didn't say the name.
They didn't say the name.
All right, all right.
Who said the name?
Some girl.
Why, you're afraid to say her name?
Yes.
He's one of the lynch mob's mob's I didn't even know what Amy polar
Wow, this is some scary stuff man, you guys are really you were better off not knowing this is ignorance
Yeah, I didn't know any of you got to watch your back with
The next mic, but bigly a movie so just look Oh, this is M night Shyamalan. I'm not going to get a slap with a bat. Come on, the race. This is the next Mike Bribiglia movie, so just look out.
Ooh, this is M Night Shyamalan.
M Night Shyamalan.
This is really, I mean, these girls, if they decide that you're bad, do you really think
that they just make shit up and just lie?
This will be on the thread, by the way.
Yes. This podcast will be on the thread by the way. Yes, this
Someone will hear it and we'll get back it'll be on the podcast I guarantee it
Just go to work I'm like a fucking no work get a new goddamn notebook. Yeah, I just say
Put the drama on the page drama drama drama. Oh, you're such a me
drama put the drama on the page. Oh, it's a drama. Get the drame on the plane
Yeah, but that's the point
But yeah, I'm okay. Just he just said that this is gonna be on the thread and you guys started giving your speeches
We didn't name any name. We didn't
Accept it polar if you named a name right now if you said Samantha B. What's the point?
I want to ask I just want to ask you something
All right, so what would that do Bobby? What would that do if we know I want to ask you something listen to me
What'd you just turn I turned up because you're not fucking listening? Oh, I'd like to pipe
I want I want to ask you something
If you name names if you fucking name names
If you said fuck it, I'm not afraid of these people. I'm not afraid because I don't do anything wrong I don't do anything bad. I respect women. I respect Ray. I respect everybody
So don't you start a name and name because that would do the same thing. Let me do this the fucking point
Vinnie Bumbats It would be for likes
Who the same you are Italian? I you can't shut the fuck up, but I'm
Know what you're getting that and it's and it would be the same thing that they do a mouth
I'm gonna give this guy a garlic knot
He's gonna give you one
So listen
Are you really scared that they would come after you and make something up and attack you?
I'm outside of that circle saying right and I got a chick so I don't think anyone will come after me like that
But I think it's a headache that you don't want to deal with
No point having people say
It would be the same thing
That sounds like you know like some of these things were like,
these guys were just attack people and you're fat, you're ugly, you're butt,
they don't do it. Do they say mean shit?
Do they?
What do they say about it?
They don't say mean shit. They label you, which is way worse.
What is a label? Like, like, like, your massageist, you're a woman-hater,
you're a prejudice, you're a big male.
And some of the shit about jokes, some of the shit is about like,
I can't believe I heard him say this on stage
So they take jokes and talk about it in the discussion. They do whatever they want
This is some scary shit. I know I want to fucking make a documentary about this
You should but you wouldn't be allowed in baby
Yeah, I am because I'm gonna have Aaron I'm gonna have Aaron just up as his eighth character
I do have an eighth, Auntie Peggy.
Do you want me to go get into her?
Yeah, give me a cup of tea.
Peggy, great.
Yeah.
He walks the barcast.
The great of a Judy Gold just walked in.
Is Judy Gold a member?
No, she's a puppet.
She's a puppet.
She's a puppet.
So are these, are there any big names in this I don't group
I think they all got kicked out they all got kicked out of the big names got kicked out
So when you become too success a big name though. I don't know. I don't know. Schumer's not in the thing
I'm not that's a big big. Yeah, I mean
Nikki Glager's not gonna be in it. No, part Rachel not arena. No, I think a little too older
I think it's like seven. since he's been a little older.
I think it's like seven years since he's been a little older.
I think it's like seven years since he's been a little older.
I think it's like seven years since he's been a little older.
I think it's like seven years since he's been a little older.
I think it's like seven years since he's been a little older.
I think it's like seven years since he's been a little older.
I think it's like seven years since he's been a little older.
I think it's like seven years since he's been a little older.
I think it's like seven years since he's been a little older.
I think it's like seven years since he's been a little older.
I think it's like seven years since he's been a little older.
I think it's like seven years since he's been a little older.
I think it's like seven years since he's been a little older.
I think it's like seven years since he's been a little older.
I think it's like seven years since he's been a little older. I think it's like seven years since he's been a little older.
I think it's like seven years since he's been a little older.
I think it's like seven years since he's been a little older.
I think it's like seven years since he's been a little older.
I think it's like seven years since he's been a little older.
I think it's like seven years since he's been a little older. I think it's like seven years since he's been a little older. I think it's like seven years since he just called Marina Older. Yeah, I know. And the way he said it sounded racist as well.
Listen, Peggy, we need you to do something.
We brought you here today.
Anything for you, Bobby.
I remember those days in Boston.
We know.
But you actually look like a girl.
You're a fucking just crazy.
You're reading this piece together.
I'm a car child.
Listen.
That's it.
You look a woman.
Bobby, don't tell anybody back inside the pool hall. First of all, can I say something? It is like a car. I'm a Clark. Listen up. That's it. You look a woman.
Bobby, don't tell anybody back inside the pool hall.
First of all, can I say something?
Yeah, we do that.
Don't worry about it.
I got it.
You just be funny.
We got it.
Take a picture of it.
What are you fucking have your own podcast?
Amazing.
We got it.
I know.
I'm playing along with it.
It's a guy in a wig.
No, he looks good.
I'm actually a new wheel here.
I'm actually into muscle pulse. Oh, yeah, I looks good. I'm actually I'm actually I'm actually into muscle pulse
Oh, yeah, I love that like really I love it like that. I'd fucking I'm the guys that look like they were mussely a few years ago
What the fuck like that listen?
Listen Peggy. Yeah, we brought you here today. We need you to do something very secret. It might be dangerous
I'm very secretive. It might be dangerous.
I love danger.
We need you.
It's very top, top, top, super-sweet love to be on the top, Bobby.
Now Peggy, do you think he got what it takes?
Oh, I got what it takes, and then some.
Can you get me a minute?
Hang on, that's my wife.
Can you get in the group, Peggy?
Can you FaceTime this, buddy?
Honey, you're alive on the show, I'm talking to Peggy
Peggy
It's not gonna Peggy
Hi, how are you?
Peggy, it's actually Aaron Berg with a wig, but listen
What's up?
I was just checking in, I will talk to you later.
Pony, there's a group of women that I just...
There's a group of women on Facebook that attack men who talk anything bad about women.
I don't understand.
There's a group of comedian women. They're all women comedians.
Let's not go to and they they if they if they choose they they attack if they'll if they think
it what is a misogynist or whatever they don't like what you saying they
attack you and label you a misogynist or whatever is that crazy and all the
guys in the show is scared
that's a lot of crazy but Why is that crazy, ma?
Because just deal with yourself.
Wow.
That's a T-shirt.
I hope that your impressive wife likes that, Bobby,
but we don't appreciate it.
You're not infiltrating your ass with Nade.
Oh, OK.
So I peg his talking.
So you really think deal with yourself.
Yes, deal with yourself. All right. I love you Baba
That's the hell it's been gone
Gone
Am I a misogynist
Yeah, yeah, someone who's gonna massage my back
Yeah, like someone who's gonna massage my back
Just coming up Beside no my massage heistic
No, you know it all right
Saying that no
I'm
All right, what did you call for?
All right, we're okay, I love you, but I'll see you a little bit, okay?
Beautiful
Gotta have sex tonight. This is the night. Oh, you gotta do it. Yeah, I'm gonna get a pee
Yeah, we're all in trouble. Oh, yeah.
Are you really?
You guys didn't say anything.
You're all in the pit.
I said, wait, yeah, a few times.
Bristol, you carry a wig on you all the time.
Yeah.
He's actually a private eye.
Oh, Jesus.
Uh-oh, is that her?
No, that's not her.
That's Mo.
Uh-oh.
What's his leg?
O'Raca.
No.
Mo Bounds. It's Mo. It's a friend of my Mo. He this like? Oraka? No, it's a mo.
It's a friend of my mo.
He actually works for Tatawaii.
Oh, Tatawaii.
Tatawaii, rap.
Let me talk to this guy.
Let's hear it.
Hey, Mo, you're on my podcast live, buddy.
How you doing?
Hey, what's going on, Bobby?
How you doing?
Say hi to everybody.
Hello, everybody.
Hi, Mo.
Hello.
Hi, Mo.
You got Aaron Berg, who's a big, big big big cigar guys here. He's wearing a blonde wig
He's he's gonna infiltrate a secret society a woman society on Facebook as aunt Peggy
On Peggy. Yeah
That's that's the guy with with that with that's all jacked up the muscle guy. Yeah, that's him. Yeah
I've seen his photo. I know who he is. All right. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, he said thank you.
Did you get did you get the the the Grand Cahonets?
No, I did not those weren't available. Oh, but you got the J21s. I got you
I got you J21s and I got you petite tattoo. I and guess who fucking called me up to
To tell me fucking Yuri says dude. I got J21's today, too
Of course he did because his order probably came in that's why oh my god. I'm so excited
All right, so I'll see you tonight, right?
Yeah, yeah, we're gonna be up there a little bit later. So I'll catch up with you later. All right, buddy. Take care. All right. Enjoy
That's the oh you gonna come with us hang with Mo. Mo and Steve from my father's
regards. Alright let's take a little break here. I want to, you guys seem scared.
You seem scared. Well I took the comedy out of the room, ironic. I don't think so.
I think that was hilarious. He had a wig on. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. That was hilarious.
You're all fucking nervous. So let's add the comedy back in the room right here.
It was one of my reads, yeah.
Give me the time.
Yeah, it's 106.
Nine.
Thank you, sir.
Check this out.
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You're right, Bob? Yeah, I'm all right, I'm sorry.
I like this, I really like this mattress.
It's a good mattress, I have one too.
You do?
Yeah, that's great, man.
And I love it because it comes, it does,
you ever get a mattress shipped to your house?
It's a nightmare.
Trying to get it through your house through the doors.
Oh, it's a small apartment.
It's locked up and then it rolled right out.
Unbelievable, okay? So here's the deal, small apartments and then it rolled right out. Unbelievable.
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Go to the go go right there. right where did Mark go hey we good yeah I would just I really do love cast
matches it's a great matches because we have a gone mattress shopping and I'm
not just it's a nightmare you get some fucking dude his life depends on you
buying a fucking mattress
Right you feel guilty for this schlep
Hey, you're trying to up sell you. This is the hotel
Diamond addition. Yeah, they got great ads on the subway
Casper has
Incredible that campaigns incredible the mattress credible because it shows up in that little box
Order it comes in the box. It's under a thousand bucks, put it on your bed.
It's a little box.
Yeah, huh?
They vacuum seal the fucking thing.
Are you serious?
Dude, it comes, you're like, what the fuck is this?
What are we going to do?
Crackers?
Yeah.
It's a bed.
And then you put it on your bed, you slice it open, they give it this little razor blade,
which is kind of cool.
It's open it up.
And you can use it for other things, that Chris is brapping, we feel the raps themselves. You're going to curl those
ribbons. And it's good. It opens on your bed, leave it on your box spring and
I'm telling you, you're going to love it. And it, because it's regulated, I don't
like to be too hot to cold. Anyways, caster.com, fantastic. So anyways, we were
talking about,
what are we getting the chat room?
Let's go to the chat room.
Ooh.
George Dizzle says, it sounds like
New York companies turned it to Mean Girls.
Oh.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Ooh.
I want to talk to Peggy real quick.
Can I talk to Peggy?
Yeah, to see if she's still here real quick. Yeah, we are giving this whole thing too much time. Yeah, I'll tell you why it's interesting to people who don't know
Uh-huh, you guys know about it. Yeah
I mean it would have happened back in the day if I but you're when you were coming up
It was no internet. I mean like even though even though internet like girls getting together and stuff like that
Yeah, I would have took a wait no because it would have
like uh... girls getting together and stuff like that yeah i would have took a wait no because it would have gzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz first in it it was you just had to be funny hey peg hey girl hey
how you doing oh just had to go wash my vagina really yeah so are you up
for the task I'd love to do it I we need you to infiltrate what's your last
name oh Oh, Leo. Oh, Jesus. It's a real comedy. Bobby's trying to put it together.
Let me see.
I'm so out of there.
I'm Smithic.
Smithic?
Yeah, Peggy Smithic.
Smithic?
The duck.
Smithic.
SMITH, WICK.
Smithic.
So I need you to get a Facebook page.
Do you have a Facebook page?
Peggy Smithic?
How do you do this?
Uh-huh.
No, we're not right now, but you get an after show.
You're really method.
And you will infiltrate them.
How do I do that?
I need you to go out and do comedy for around six months.
Last month, last month.
Last month and that.
I'm one of them, I've been at two or three bars.
Oh, yes.
So I need you to go to do comedy.
Peggy, I need you to go out there.
Do some comedy, write some jokes. Well, they don't really do that. Listen, I need you to write out there, do some comedy, write some jokes.
Well, they don't really do that. Listen, I need you to write, I want you to do it though.
I want you to do it. Well, that's beyond. I get it. Be the leader, be the queen bee of this
hive of distrust. And then I want you to infiltrate and get in there and
report back to us what's going on. Like call in. Yeah.
Okay.
Now, we're going to set up meeting points.
Ooh.
Okay.
Okay.
No more payphones.
What?
What?
What?
We're going to say no, there's no more payphones.
That was a lot of stuff.
Yeah, infiltrate and then you want me to rat or you want me to snatch or you want me to
just stay on the inside and give you info.
I want you to call you when we're ready.
I want you to stay on the inside and give us info. I won't call you when we're ready. I want you to stay on the inside and give us info.
Okay, so I'm gonna go do stand up at an open mic with Scopo. Okay. And I will say I've been
raped, but what I'll do is misspell it. So I say I was right. I'm gonna stop you now. So you really don't get attacked.
You're really just setting yourself up pegging. Yeah, this is freaking me out. You know, I'm gonna worry. Yeah, you you really don't get attacked. You're really just setting yourself up Peggy.
What this is set?
You're freaking me out.
You know, I'm a woman.
You look like Hulk Hogan's wife.
It looks like Hulk Hogan.
Yeah, I'm very excited to do that.
And we're the Hulk married himself.
Yeah, really.
And then had baby hymns.
Yeah.
The dog.
Hi Peggy, listen.
I'm Brooke Hogan's gorgeous.
I know you do.
Peggy, listen to me.
First of all, I want you to start wearing the goggles in the tanning booth.
You know, I want you to have a bag.
No, you're really bad bags.
No.
I'm sorry.
I need prep hair to my eyes.
Yeah.
And a couple other places.
Hi Peggy, well, nice to meet you.
Report back to us.
Thanks for having me.
What's your last name again smithic
Alright, so what are they saying she's in the improv group statutory crape
Yeah, people eight offs says I agree with Aaron's point, but he sucks and at making it
So what so I could do this in real life, you know.
What's all of the stuff you have there?
That's right.
Not now.
No.
You're fucking into it.
Yeah, you're just a fucking...
Jesus.
You really have from Jersey.
But the thing that sucks is if you comment or have an opinion that they just attack and
assume you hate women and call you horrible things.
But why can't you do the remember and now?
I'm gonna say, do you hate women?
No. I love women.
I work for a woman.
Men don't hate women.
Just women hate men like certain women like to pay for them.
Let's make it clear.
Some men that are not where they want to be,
blame it on a system that they think is straight white men.
That's what it is.
And girls that aren't out there.
And the ones that are out grinding and doing comedy don't give a shit
Don't say grinding no chicks that are out there
Husband also sounds bad. Oh, yeah chicks that are out there doing it doing it don't give a shit about talking about it
I just love when people talk about how the white man has it so easy, and I haven't had it one day
in this business that's been easy.
No.
I've been rejected so many times.
Everything you get you work for.
But everything, I've been rejected a million.
I've been told no.
I've been told no because of my color of skin.
Shoot me too.
I mean, I don't, that, I don't, I was like, what?
But I'm funny.
Yeah, I know, but when, yeah, we don't want,
you'll, you'll, that color that you have,
yeah, people that fuck that.
The people that fuck to make you, I don't,
we don't want that.
We love you, you're great, but we don't want you.
Yeah, and that's, I mean,
you have to work hard on overcome that.
Well, I mean, look, I know that some guys
or some people do have that.
So, I mean, and you have to acknowledge that it's a,
you know, look, the white man, I guess, did some stuff.
We did a bunch of shit.
A bunch of shit.
That was fucked up, but, you know, it's like,
I don't, I think right now is a great time
from minorities and women. Totally women to be in the business
because they're vast.
Because they ignore that that did happen.
Like there was a huge, there was a great period of time
where white men did dominate all of entertainment
and oppressed women and like all that shit did happen.
Yeah, I don't know how do these girls
weren't even alive for it.
But they didn't, oh look, they don't have to be alive
or something to actually look, still believe in it
and want to make sure that I still, there's definitely work that needs to be done. We have to be alive or something to actually but still believe in it and want to make sure that
I still there's definitely work that needs to be done.
We have to, we're not fucking, it's not over.
And let's separate white men from the Jews.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
The Jews.
Well, and also, why can't you make a joke?
I can make a Jew joke, that's cool.
Yeah.
But if I make a woman joke, I'm a piece of,
it's every group goes, I'm all, I can take a joke, but then when it's about them, they can't take of it's every group goes I'm all I can take a joke
But then when it's about them they can't take it so it's like can you take a joke or not?
It's like boss made a Trump joke
Yeah, and some guys stood up on to make a Hillary joke and then he was about to beat fucking boss up
Because he made a joke about Trump at a comedy show
What I don't hear about that was last he wrote about it on Facebook not as eloquent as Kermeska writes
It was more of a half a paragraph. Yeah, yeah, there's a couple things,
Miss Kyle Angry, me and Lee Money God.
So how he wrote a Lisbon.
Then at the end of your apology, please, please,
I'll overlook my spelling and grammatical average.
So I mean, it's like, are you kidding me?
So you were laughing and enjoying the show until I said
something you didn't like, and then you stand up and you want
to fucking hurt me physically. me me me that's the
The time I live in it. Yep
I'm gonna see you in my next video. I'm Instagram and Instagram and Instagram. Ben Payne says this isn't only happening in New York City
It's also happening Louisiana comedy scene as well. They have a comedy
They're just gonna snap four girls. I'm from there. Women have gone so far as to flood parts of Louisiana.
Ooh.
Topical.
Yeah, you're topical.
Seven years ago.
I wish you had fucking topical hair stuff.
Oh, yeah.
It's looking bad, right?
Okay, what else you got?
That's fine.
Blake Britz says, this is my favorite episode of comedians on phone calls filling time.
Ooh.
What's not a bad thing?
Yeah, good.
Yeah. Block him.
We never block anyone.
I know one guy two years ago.
Why do we block him?
Did he threaten you?
He said he's going to see you on the streets and find me.
I don't like physical contact.
You love physical contact.
I've never, when they in one time,
I've touched anybody.
That was his wife.
Three months ago.
Yeah.
What I do.
That's what I meant.
You know, with your wife and other people.
Every female guest you've hit on with a cell.
Do you just keep going when you bomb?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll take it.
Yeah, please, take it.
Make it do a quilt.
Bombs are bad, they'll be in the women's group soon.
Oh, they're not gonna like that one, though. That's a joke, that's a quilt. Balmins so bad, they'll be in the women's group soon. Oh, they're not gonna like that one.
That's a joke.
He's already hating it.
He's already hating it.
You know, you should do my hate.
Oh, you're definitely.
I mean, come on.
I don't know for a fact, but there's, I mean, I've seen you do a couple of massage just
jokes.
Can we get to that?
Sure.
But everything about your life is what they hate.
What?
Because you're a successful comedian.
Yeah, but I hate that about his life too.
That's fucking asshole.
Right, but you're also fucking tons of women and just killing her.
Yeah, I was about to give some fuck.
Exactly.
And I'm not raping.
No, right.
Contentual.
Just happy living on it.
What was that?
Did you hear about that?
I'll tell you that.
You're such a fucking ego maniac.
I don't give up the person.
I just care about the comment.
Comment.
Well, as a comment, Mark Norman fucked well, but not great.
I only came running the stars.
I don't care what he wants.
He obviously doesn't care about me.
I'm in an Uber pool.
Can you look at me real quick?
No, I just know through the thing.
I said, yeah, I had sex with Mark.
But that's it.
Yeah, that'd be some detail.
Maybe it's details.
Details.
I didn't listen to that sort of group. And these women are falsely claiming that they had sex with you and that it yeah that's that it's that it's maybe it's details details I need to start a group and say these women are falsely claiming
that they had sex with you and that it's a lie and that they're objectifying
you as a sex object ooo I agree I'm hurt and offended yeah so so so how many
women are rats how many so how many women are like telling guys what's going
on I know two for sure I know like
to yeah if you ask a Syrian he'll say all women
um that's not bad yeah but he had too much serious like we were all gonna
carry him out on our shoulder right Oh, he's got a new character. Is that Syrian sound?
I want to put it a go.
Welcome to Queens.
Yeah, I think there's a couple of things.
How many do you know?
How many do I know?
Yeah.
A couple of snitches.
I know the one that got kicked out,
and there's another one that's a good one.
Now, she got kicked out because she was snitching?
No, because she said, why don't you guys
write a fun joke instead of harassing all these male comedians who are just trying to write jokes and be funny
And look it's got to be hard to be a woman they get fucked with and the open-mic scene and all that and it's a bunch of
Massages dudes running around and they have a lot of rape jokes rape jokes. I mean, that's the breaks
Yeah, everybody has their own shit to deal with but it's got a suck and there's so few of them they're crazy out numbered
So all that I get and that sucks. You see women. He's a good guy standing up for you like Rachel fine
See what's on me by one time she was on the road and some guy was like trying to break in her hotel rooms
He was trying to fuck her to change hotel rooms. It's like I've never had to deal with that
Yeah, and that's awful. That sucks actually. I have had to deal with that. Oh, yeah
What was his name in England? No, there was chicks that would like trying it in the long term. Hey guys the other and then and then
and then and then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then sounds like it sounds very scary yeah yeah I mean it's scary that there's a group like I mean I anytime a group gets together to go against other people
it scares the shit out of me yeah right because it's like what the fuck you
know and and if you form a group to go after that group and you're bad that's
scary too I mean what you look at you you got, you're fucking legitimately nervous.
Oh, yeah, I mean, you know, you just don't want to deal with it.
I just want to do comedy.
I want to see what I want to do.
I just want to tell jokes on a stage and have a good guy damn time and none of this shit
works anything.
Chase is going through hell right now.
Hell, why?
He's riding up about the rape thing and he's, he made me come in.
He made me, yeah.
It's getting ugly.
They made him see what happened. What happened? They made a meme of Che. We're Che basically said why are people messaging me to tell me about rape? Go to the cops.
I can't do anything about that. That was offensive. That was offensive because you don't know how many women have gone to the cops and gotten shit out of the...
But as embarrassed as... You're a black man. What do you know about repression or the police?
Are you serious out saying that? No, I'm just being you know that thing. Okay. Yeah
It's crazy so Michael Chase getting
He gets it he gets pounded by them. Yeah, he loves it though. He loves going after them and pissing them off And really them to barbecue
He tags people on the bottom of the queue
So if I mean to a fucking party.
He's got a real barbecue bomb.
All right, well I did it!
I invited him to my barbecue.
Sorry.
Well guys, I hope I look, it's weird to me.
I'm glad that I'm in Westchester and out of the mix.
Good.
But it's scary.
I'm scared that you guys scared you guys out.
This is creepy shit.
This is crazy shit.
I don't think it'll affect,
I don't think it would really affect me.
No, I don't think you guys said anything fucked up.
I mean, except what you said, Darren.
What did I say?
You'd have to go back and listen to that.
Yeah, I'm not.
48 minutes and six seconds in, ladies.
It's up to y'all.
A roll of bunch of lion hoes. I don't think they take that out. They're trying to make 48 minutes and six seconds in ladies. That's what we all are. We're all up on July and Hours.
That out, they take that out.
That is twice a night.
Yeah, exactly.
That sound like.
He called us, who was he?
Mine was.
I love, he's, he's, he's, he's about to get a gig on NBC and network
and they put this, gets emailed.
It's like a Ray Dunnevin fucking show.
Yeah.
All right, I'll take that bomb, Dana.
Thanks.
He was just rambling.
Trying to get a laugh out of fucking somebody, not even Dep right, I'll take that bomb, Dan. Thanks. You just rambling.
Trying to get a laugh out of fucking somebody.
Not even Depu, chuckled at that.
I'm pretty polite too.
Oh god.
Oh.
How did this date been?
First of all, I set that up.
I know.
That's our stick.
I was going to say him.
Oh, him.
Yeah.
But I was, I was, he's kind of on fire today.
So I didn't want to catch, you know, maybe he gets a good one.
This is him on fire.
He'll be a fire, geez.
Wow.
That's him on fire.
That's GoPro.
Yeah, your house.
He's not sitting there with a fucking shitty face.
I'm like this.
Mm-hmm.
Uh-huh.
I can get there.
I know you.
I have a range.
All right.
Well, listen, let's wrap this fucker up.
I mean, because I don't know where to go from this.
That's a lot to talk about.
Like what? Well, there's a riot in Milwaukee
yeah that's good black stuff to it yeah I want to do about that
I heard a black cop killed a black guy yeah
yeah that is really well black cop killed a black guy
but the black guy is supposedly had a permit for his gun no
it's pointing the gun out it was an illegal carry because he'd already been
fine with the gun.
He was no longer allowed to carry a gun.
Okay, so you are a body guy. I know every fucking in and out of the
gun. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go with you right now. We're gonna go for
10 minutes on this. And then I gotta go because I have to piss and
I have to get back up top. They know the guy's shut up and let me ask
your questions. Yeah. Are you Aaron right now? Yes, I'm
Aaron. You want to add another you're on nine characters. We could
wrap this up with 10. I'll be. No, I want to. Why? Let's're on nine characters. We could wrap this up with ten I'll be and I want to let's go fucking you name of the podcast time
Jason stay them really well, but let's do Jason. Oh, you look more like juice willis
Tell that to Pete Lee so
So basically this guy told had a gun. Yeah, put it down put it down
He turns towards the cop first of all. He's running. He's not standing
Okay, he's running with the gun. He guys runs. Why does he have the gun out?
Nobody knows cop chasing him why are they chasing him?
Because he has an illegal firearm. They have a
They see was he did he have so he they pulled him over. Yeah, he's with a friend with a friend
They pull him over. What do they say guys get out of the car right away?
They don't say that the guys get out of the car run they know they have warrants
Okay, so there's warrants for their rest. They get out. They run. He's got a gun. Come on
Freeze freeze. I don't need your acting
Those footsteps I think I'm in a
Freeze guys running freeze turns around has a gun all caught on body cam did you do
folly work
River dance lights and then turns around he's got a gun drop the gun doesn't
drop the gun bang bang to go to the guy done dead the gun said bang bang
yeah so you do all you do foot foot, everything, you can't go, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw, pwaw towards him. Yeah, with the gun in his hand and shoots the guy. Yeah. And why is there no media coverage? And this is not an outrage. This is all on tape. Pro was broke.
No, right away. It's broke out. They burn the fucking town down. I'm talking about online.
They chased. There is. It's everywhere. It's not. No, it's not like the other ones.
No, no, no. They will. They say, now let me ask this you know everything they were fucking
Black people were hunting white people down
What yeah, I'm gonna ask a question hunting white people down and beating the fuck out of them
Is that true? That is true. How how do you know that's true because there's video of it of people going who is that get the white people She white fuck her up fuck her up pulling her out of a car beatner
Yeah, they smashed her car open that's a right shot at EMS workers and they shot at fire department workers that came to put the fire
So this is a race war it is right on they very clearly said that the real of the black panthers came out and said this is a war and no
Uncertain circumstances I'm gonna be honest, I haven't even heard it.
I had no idea by any of this.
I don't know about the shape of the car.
In that sense, after two days is because the sheriff,
Sheriff David Clark, who's the Wisconsin deputy sheriff,
who's a black guy who's very anti-black lives matter
and he said we will not put up with this.
They mobilized the National Guard,
they didn't call them in right away,
but they were mobilized.
So after two nights, it was like non-issue but it's still going to
be an issue it's it's a narrative that's going throughout this country so so so
now if you have a gun if you have a gun and you told the drop the gun and you
don't you you're not supposed to shoot somebody that's what they're saying so
what do you not offices are taking black men's lives and then they'll show oh
here's a white guy that didn't drop his gun
And they didn't shoot him so that's racist. They they talked him down and they tackled him so that becomes the next narrative
Well, I mean look there if there is that if there is that
Video of that there is there is but you're comparing you're comparing this a blackout shot. Yeah, it's a blackout at shot
But they made it a racial I heard I forget what his name. I was watching with my friend Joe the other night
In my cigar shed nice, but you gotta come up. Yeah, it's very nice. It's fucking great
I got a projector a little mini projector in there now. It's wonderful
So you go out there smoke watch fucking movies, yeah, but we were watching
This guy and he was arguing with with this other guy who was a Black
Lives Matter guy and he was like, you're telling me that we're more racist than we were
on the 60s.
When you're talking about Black Lives Matter, who there's a black police chief, there's
a black, mostly black force, there's a black senator, there's a black president,
and where more racist than we were in the 60s,
it's like, you're fucking crazy.
Yeah, crazy.
Now, is there racism, yes, is there a problem, yes?
But there's no way we're fucking as bad as we were.
No, it's just this, there's no way.
The internet, now we can know about this story.
How the fuck did you know about that story well that's why the internet's
great because we see it but then you can't see it yeah but you see it and then
people do this lynch mob thing the same thing I mean obviously you got to shoot
that guy he's got a fucking gun he's running away you shoot that guy well it's
up to the it's well some cops might some cops you know it's up to that cops
discretion how afraid is he well you know what what is his but there was a video made of a black lives matter guy that cops brought
in there like let's see how you handle it and they put them through training
exercise where they ran them through three training exercises they gave them a
gun yeah and they said when would you pull the gun and when would you fire it
they just killed all the white people no but it was like there was once where he
would have been shot and killed then another time a guy just walking at him
Unarmed where he's like stop sir stop sir
The bang bang and shot and unarmed right so it's just like that personal fear nobody knows until they're in that situation
But what about the pulling the white chicken of a car? That's insane. That's insane. That why is that not that that guy should be fucking
What happened with the carcer in no one saying that guy's doing the right thing right there
Burning down a gas station. What about burning down a business burning out somebody's car you you're taking away somebody's transportation
You take the ability to earn a living because of what they feel like
You're burning somebody's fucking
Yeah, but it's not equal you're fucking you know, it's not equal. Yeah, you're fucking a human being out of their life
You're going in your trash in your own neighborhood
You're taking you you you fucking somebody has to go through insurance now and worry about paying bills or whatever the fuck it is
But it makes the news right maybe that's their argument. I'm just fucking ridiculous
It's so it serves writing serves nothing, but it makes the news their argument. I'm just writing is fucking ridiculous. It serves writing serves nothing
But it makes the news a message. I yeah message
We're pissed. Yeah, are you should just make more racism? I don't agree with it
It makes people more racist and people who are that are on the fence are like fuck it
Look at this right that's when the racists can fucking collect people. They go look at that, you see?
That's like when there's a shooting.
Right.
More people go buy guns,
because they're afraid that they're gonna take their guns away.
Yeah, it's crazy.
And they're afraid that someone's gonna come and shoot them.
So they go buy, so you sell more guns when you promote that.
And when you go on, you know,
when you're fucking riding and looting and ripping
and beating up people, human beings, fuck, I I don't care white spit whatever the fuck she is taking somebody out of a
car and beating them up for no fucking reason
that's crazy
woman
that's really
where's this Facebook page with the woman?
that's what I'm saying
I was kidding
but I'm badly
that's a real thing
I'm serious
but both something like that just one time
well it's like well you know forbid, if your wife was coming home and she got stuck
in traffic because the gas is enough and then people who drag her from her car because
it's a traffic stop and a guy who had a warrant who's all she had to do, look, man, I remember
when I got arrested one time, the guy was like, look, man, you did it.
So don't run, just take it because, you know,
you could have done it and got away with it and you win.
I caught you, so you knew what the fuck was gonna happen
when you stole all that shit.
And I was like, yeah, all right, cool, let's go.
And we walked and talked, no handcuffs went to a car.
Did you drop the hoagies?
No.
He did, we did, we did. I need a jaw, laughin' there somewhere. You got to get a heavy, you got to do a car. Did you drop the hoagies? We did. I need a Joe laughing. There's
somewhere. Get heavy. Get to heavy. Yeah. That's why you hear
you fuck. All right. I'm fucking saying it like we think you're
here to discuss topics. Oh, yeah. I'm doing it with fucking
him and this fucking on funny. That's all. You're here to be
funny. You robot. Pick some shit out. You fucking joke.
That's what I'm doing. It's these national joke days, by the way.
Anyways, yeah, that's what I'm doing.
Yeah, that's what I'm just saying.
We, uh, yeah, I went to jail.
Yeah.
I went to jail for the time I was supposed to go to jail.
You get pulled over and you run, okay, run, but you have a gun, geez, what do you expect?
Yeah.
What do you think's gonna happen?
Yeah. Run, outrun the cop, good for you. Drop your gun. Drop a gun. What do you expect? What do you think is going to happen? Run! Outrun the cop, good for you. Drop your gun.
Drop the gun.
You know, if you run from...
Look, look, if you're a criminal, you get pulled over, you decide to run. Good for you.
Go ahead and run. And if the cop doesn't catch you, fuck him for not being in shape.
Right.
And if he does catch you, fuck off. Take the hit. Get on your ground. Take the handcuffs. Go back.
But what if he shoots you?, fuck off, take the hit. Get on your ground, take the handcuffs, go back. But what if he shoots you?
Who the cop?
Yeah, die.
Jesus, no, he shouldn't shoot you.
I'm sure, was this guy gonna shoot the guy?
He did shoot me.
Yeah, but he had a gun, I'm saying,
you don't fucking take the, leave the gun in the car.
You know, look at you.
But what do you think he just throws the gun
and that doesn't look suspicious?
Dude, if you run, you don't need to take the gun.
Correct.
If you have a gun, thank you. If you have a gun on, you don't need to take the gun. Correct. If you have a gun, thank you.
If you have a gun on you don't need to take it
like you're fucking Jesse James.
I agree.
Yeah, they're only shooting you because you have a gun.
You're the gun, you're good.
Yeah, if they, you know, he's not gonna shoot him
if he doesn't have a gun, but they're gonna say,
well, maybe, you know, you know, you never know.
Why not?
It's, we're fucked.
We're fucked, we're fucked.
We're fucked, we're fucked.
Yeah, I got nothing.
But, Otsaya, the all this stuff, I believe,
you have to go, this shit has to happen
to get to the next level of humanity.
Yeah, I guess.
It always has.
Doesn't feel like it's changing though.
It's changed.
We have a black president.
We're about to have a woman president.
Right.
It's changing. It's changing. And, a black president. We're about to have a woman president. Right. It's changing.
It's changing.
And yeah, minorities and women, okay.
So what does that say to you and me?
Go get funny.
Go write your own shit, become undeniable.
Yeah.
Don't let them deny you.
And if they deny you, then your shit wasn't good enough.
Go make it better. Because if, let me tell you something your shit wasn't good enough go make it better
Because if let me tell you something I'll tell you something Hollywood wants they want to make fucking money Yeah, and if you get something that will make them money because it's that goddamn good you can do whatever you want
So it doesn't matter it really does it woman man black white
Okay, you guys women and and minorities, take over.
I don't care.
I'm gonna go right, I'm gonna go do comedy.
And I'm gonna be as fucking funny and I'm gonna try to be as good as I can be.
And become undeniable.
Fuck it, I can't let you dictate whether I do what the fuck I wanna do.
Yeah, well thank God for the internet, you can put your own shit out there now.
Put your own shit out there now. Put your own shit out there. Overcold.
If you can fucking stand up for yourself.
Put the work in.
Yeah.
Right down to your ideas.
Reef.
You get friends.
Reef.
You fucking believe in each other.
Reef.
That's how you fucking do it.
There you go.
Bam, bam. Aaron, where you at? That's how you fucking do it. There you go
And where you at I've yet levity live tomorrow night
That'll be a nice drive home. Maybe I'll stop at Bobby's. No, it's coming out Monday. Oh, I won't be a little bit. Yeah, okay tomorrow I'll be at
Rahoboth Beach Delaware come check me out. We had line in there Thursday
I'll be in Columbus, Ohio
at the Exotic Uphorn Convention.
Come check me out there.
Sajanis.
That's why they fucking don't like you.
Yeah.
Fuck a misogynistic piece of shit.
Do you do porn?
No, I'm doing comedy at the porn thing.
That's hilarious.
And then Friday Saturday Sunday I'll be all around the city.
So come check me out, around the city.
And my CD's out on iTunes, thank you. All right, buddy. What do you got? Hey, hey, I'm doing a doing the joy theater at New Orleans
hometown hero on the first September 1st, so please come out to that. I got to fill that room up my family's gonna be there
so
and then after that I'm in stand-up live in Phoenix and then a comedy club on state
Madison, Wisconsin great club and I follow me on Twitter, all that jazz and you can find me and the
women's comedy group.
I hope they don't.
What do you got?
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
What do you got?
I have a very fun show at Caroline's on the 20th.
Fun?
Yeah, please subscribe.
We, uh, everyone makes a video on their iPhone,
and we screen them, and it's really good time.
That's a great idea, man.
Thanks.
Can I do one?
Yeah, I'd love to have you, Bobby.
All right, cool, man.
Uh, so that's the 23rd at Caroline's.
Uh, and every Thursday, I'm on MTV's Joking Off.
So watch that, please.
What's Joking Off? It's like, it's like at midnight except you have a partner and there's a
big screen and you got to make jokes and write circles that's great yeah so
while I say that you can find me at map avaton twitter thanks for listening it was
good having you buddy thanks man do you have a good time I had a great time
good buddy it was good to me you confident a good time? I had a great time. Good buddy. It was good to me. You confident a little, good looking motherfucker.
Thanks.
Good to meet you.
You fat, confident motherfucker.
I'm never gonna have you that.
I don't know.
I don't know.
That woman's group was right about you in Facebook.
Ooh.
Fucking fat shame me, you cunt.
Sorry.
You better hold onto that hair because that's what you got.
You know that.
Your face goes downhill.
That's all I got.
If you're bald.
I know.
You can follow me on Twitter at Peggy
Smithing. I was good to have you buddy. Come back on again, all right? I'm scopo. Deepo,
what do you got? You can follow me on Twitter. Take that off your head because that looks
racist. Yeah. I can't see me anyway. So, uh, uh, you don't follow my, get another camera.
Could do that. Twitter and Instagram are too deep and I love women what's next
yeah you clock soccer you don't want to be in that group do you I bet you I've
been brought up in the state dollars to donuts because that's fetching
huh what you been brought up how will you know I don't know like I I would try
stuff on stage that's you know maybe on the spectrum of you know maybe you
know that's what I fucking hate yeah Yeah. Stage is sacred. Yeah. Yeah. You should be able to try whatever the fuck you want.
Yeah. You don't bring it somewhere in, you know, look man.
You should do whatever you want on stage. And you know what?
How are you going to find funny if you can't experiment and fucking
say fucked up shit and go, oh that's too much. That's why I say fuck it. That's why I say I'll just try it anyway
in whatever, let them think what they're in whatever love and think what they're gonna think
and see what they're gonna say.
Good for you.
Yeah, I feel.
Say what you need to say.
What do you got?
Just give me on Twitter, Instagram, at ChrisCopo.
Why do you get nothing, huh?
Yeah.
I don't know.
The next couple of weeks are dry for me.
My friends got a lot of shit there.
Doing, he's doing great.
I'm gonna have to go.
I'm gonna show them up.
I'm gonna show them on Thursday.
Why don't you get them on the MTV show. You don't have that much power.
You got to rape somebody.
Yeah.
Get some heat, name in the press.
Jesus Christ man.
You haven't listened to anything we've said on the show.
Oh, really fucking right in there.
You can't always get it.
I mean, the funny always wins with you, huh?
Yeah, it does.
Laura, what do you got?
Just outlawing, because there are other reasons.
Besides no boyfriend. No boyfriend. Nothing. No husband, it does. Yeah. Laura, what do you got? Just at Lauren Cabaret. Besides no boyfriend.
No boyfriend?
No boyfriend.
Nothing.
No husband, no boyfriend.
Bob, I can't believe it.
I can't believe it.
What?
The Instas.
Oh, thanks man.
Well, you like his Insta-Herrns.
They're getting more and more revealing.
Yeah.
Summer time, baby.
The desperation climbs.
What's her Instagram?
Her Instagram.
Get really desperate.
All right.
Well, you got anything on?
I'll creep kids, August 30th.
Boom, creeps with kids. A show on producing with Bonnie McFallon, I, well, you got anything on? Creeps kids, August 30th.
Boom, Creeps with kids.
A show on producing with Bonnay McFarlane, Jim Florentine, Louis J. Gomez, hosted by
Ron Bennington.
It's, it's, it's, it's selling out, dude.
So if you're going to go get your tickets now, I'm telling you, it's, there's going to
be no tickets available.
We're almost there.
So get your fucking tickets.
We're gonna do, we're all gonna do a standup.
We're gonna do standup about having kids,
all that stuff about that.
And then we're gonna do a panel with Ron Benning
hosting about parenting.
It's the other side of parenting.
A lot of stuff, you see comedy on parenting. It's this other side of parenting. A lot of stuff, you know, you see comedy on parenting.
It's this cheesy fucking, you know, cruise ship, whatever. She and my kid, move, move, move, move,
move. This is, you know, some edgy fucked up people that maybe shouldn't have kids. Who had kids?
And we're actually great parents. So it's gonna sell out. It's gonna be the first installment.
We're gonna be taping it. I'm very excited about this show.
Crucial Kids, August 30th at the Village Underground. What else?
September 9th and 10th, Laugh It Up, Pekipsi.
Oh, I'm sorry, September 9th, Treehouse was Port Connecticut.
Right. And then the 10th, that Laugh It Up, Pekipsi.
Yeah, I got my tourers up on my website, robacadalive.com.
We have dates until January up there.
So I'm coming your way.
We got a fucking ton of dates.
The true story tour is coming to you.
So if you see it, go there and see if I'm coming to you.
If I'm not coming to you, let me know.
We'll try to book a show in your area.
And like I said before, I got one guy emailing me today.
I'm gonna try to put local guys up.
I'm not putting fucking teni up, but I might put one or two up here and there.
So if you're if I'm coming to your town and you're local comic, I'm not promising anything,
but if I can get you up, I'll give you five, five, eight, ten minutes, whatever we got
because I want to support local comedy at these places that we're going to.
And these are at the rock venues only, not the comedy clubs.
The comedy clubs, they like to do things their their way but these rock venues that I'm playing you know but if you're
gonna fucking you know be on the show but tell you God damn friends about the
show you know you people are not that I'm saying it's a bringer show but don't
be a fucking asshole what else what else you want to send some to the studio
117 McDougal Street care of rock0-012, Caravrober Kelly
or the YKWD podcast.
What else?
We got the app, go buy the app, $1.99.
Here's the thing, I just filmed my first episode of One-on-One this morning with Dan Soda.
I'm put it on the Premium Members.
It's going up for Premium Members only.
It's a video and audio that's going up for premium members only. It's a video and audio that's going up for premium members only
It's me Dan Soda for around 40 minutes talking one-on-one. It was a really great. Have you this?
Here's a problem. I have all this crazy new shit of this camera that does nine shots. I can sit there and do it
It's beautiful. It looks unbelievable. It's black and white video. It's 4K. It's in my shed. It's it's fun. it's 4k it's in my shed it's it's fun it's
hilarious it's in unbelievable I love it but I forgot to plug the mic set so I have
audio but you can hear the fan every once in a while so I'm still gonna put it
up for premium members it's very interesting I'm gonna be doing another one
with no I'm doing it I got these one-on-ones coming out of my shed. Jack Vaughan from Comedy
Central, a guy who started Comedy Center records now the head of one of the head guys over
Comedy Central's Comedy at Serious Satellite. So, he's going to be going up for premium members
only. What does that go? Download the YKW podcast app for iTunes off iTunes.
That's Robert Kelly.
You know what do that.
Robert Kelly, you know what I love you, Lauren.
Robert Kelly, you know what do you do for iOS device or Android devices.
Download the app.
It's free.
And then join.
It's $199 a month.
You're going to be getting all the one on ones.
You're going to be getting the creeps with Kid Show and plus this show every week.
And it's a way not only to get the original content that if you're not to be getting the creeps with kid show and plus this show every week and it's a way not only to get the
Original content that if you're not a premium member you're not going to get which is the one of ones on it
It's also a way to support the show
You know you're supporting these guys deput and Lauren and Scopo and myself
We bust our ass to put the show for the last four years these guys for last three years or two years
To put the show for you guys every week. It's grown and grown and grown and grown.
But if you want to support us, $199, get the app, join up, become a premium member, write
the fuck now.
It's under two bucks, you mother fuck, a month, not a day, a month, two bucks a month,
and you get all that stuff.
And these shows are going up there.
What else?
Subscribe to the YouTube channel. Yeah. and you get all that stuff. And these shows are going up there. What else?
Subscribe to the YouTube channel.
Yeah, well, you'll watch this on YouTube,
hit the fuck and subscribe button,
like and share, right?
So I do people.
So I do people.
Yeah, we just said 5000 viewers, subscribers, last week.
Wow, hey.
Does that mean we get to use the studios?
No, they actually changed that to 10,000.
You motherfuck goddamn YouTube.
Really?
Yeah. Subscribe and like. Yeah. All right. That's it,
man. You guys are the best fans in the world. I hope you guys enjoyed this podcast. Please
don't attack me. Put the other guys in the show. I believe in women. Those strong men.
And I believe women should take over the. They are the women and everybody. See this.
What? We got a thing. We got a post. A post already. already. Yeah, no, no, no, no, I asked
But Kurt Metzger. Oh Jesus Christ. All right. Well, don't you not a really fucking you blow at the end of a show
You really are an anti-climatic. This is pro-Metskin. All right, okay, it's a Kurt Metzger is the devil and he the fucking art
I didn't read the article you two fucking dumb newcomers
I ended the show perfectly and you yapping fucking nineties.
All right, guys, you guys the best fans.
You know what, dude?
You've been listening to the YKWD podcast.
Thanks for listening.
Now go back to your shitty jobs.
Shitty jobs.
Shitty jobs.
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