Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - They're Not Acting

Episode Date: May 11, 2020

Comedy power couple Joe List and Sarah Tollemache come on and we find out what they're doing with their quarantine. We get into if gay relationships easier and what happens behind the mangroves and should our hosts swap spouses!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta de dónde viene? ¿Sino por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos lia. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos.

Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la edición especial de Madrid nos lia. Un número de ma Network, riotcast.com. Yeah baby, we're starting the podcast right now! We're back, you know what dude, live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKW I started the social media podcast. The fact that YKW did broadcast.

YKW did back again. Old school back in the day. We're all starting before them all. YKW did broadcast. It's so fun and crazy. And there's no rules. Shut up! You're ruining this.

I'm sorry. It's a comedy podcast. and has no rules. Shut up, you ruining this! For the more damn I'm having a hard time, sorry. It's comedy podcast. This is an NPR. That's the podcast done. Is there any better show? This is the original original. Hello. I don't know if anybody can hear me.

He almost got it. He almost got it. Very close got it very close. My we're getting closer You know what I say about failure Mike What I say about failure it's that much closer to success The more times you fuck it up Mike the better you're gonna be in the long run It might show my fail and die on the vine because of that, but the next show or the hyenas will prosper from your failures. Welcome everybody to the YKWD. I am excited as fuck tonight. You know what I'm gonna stop swearing as much, first of all.

I am excited as hell as gosh, darling, Bougain Annans. Are you okay? That's probably right. Bougain Annans. You don't seem okay. I'm all right. You have a six year old Gabby and see what happens. Now in a pandemic,

have a life that hasn't showered in days and put your hair and won't touch a ding-ding and just is painting offense because the hornets are back gab you talked to me when the hornets come back all right Gabby Brian's here she looks like a boy from the now the lens looks like a boy from the now the lens looks yeah from the man the lens yeah Or in a window So anyways, we got my call to hear I don't like I don't like to your camera so good you look you're lighting this Your face looks skinny Fuck off

Yeah, it looks skinny. Is that a filter? It's not looking them every night, so I know it's gotten skinnier. That's just a bird's eye view fuck off. Ah, yeah. It looks skinny. Is that a filter? It's not. I have to look at them every night. So I know it's gotten skinnier. That's just a bird's eye view. You're a bird's eye view. Yeah, you're a bird.

You bird eye view. Of course we have our guests tonight. Which is, I think, is this the first time? First time what? Together on the show. No time what together on the show? No, we were on the show years ago When Joe was drinking oh Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, wow, but this is this this is the first time I've had the couple

The power couple the new power couple the new power I predict the next mother fucking power couple in this business. Yo, it's terrible. I think we've been a power couple for many years. We were the first married couple to ever roast battle each other, if you recall. In the sale. You've been a sour couple. Now, nothing. All right, listen. Yeah, I'm exactly. Well, I you know Gabby said what about Sarah and Joe and I went no and then what yeah I didn't say no I'm kidding. He doesn't every time though, so don't take it personal I said any time she suggests any time she suggests anybody I go no and it's kind of my job to suggest people So I'm gonna go and then I go of course. It sounds great Let's start with your hair.

What do you do with your hair? This is very disappointing. Not you. Go. This is very disappointing to somebody who can't do anything with this hair to see somebody that has a full head of hair, shave it down. Well, it's coming back. Well, first and foremost, it was getting too long.

I don't like it long. It gets wavy and curly. It was too much. It's too much. I thought, I don't want my hair to look like Sarah's when it grows out. You see like Gary Gullman and fucking, you know, Eddie Vetter. We all want to look like Gary Gullman. And we all want to look like Sarah.

Yeah. I don't know if they have Sarah's hair. That'd be fun. But so I was just sexy here for a woman. And she also has a bass player hair for a man. I do. I was thinking I look like Sean Penn from the last time that Ridgemont high. I know him.

I wanted a Mohawk. I had a Mohawk before. I liked the Travis Bickle Mohawk, Joe Strummer, and we went for it. And I'm not pointing fingers or naming names, but not everyone is good at even a simple haircut. Can I say something though, do you been in quarantine with Jess Sarah for over a month? So who else could that be? Me.

Two months, it was Sarah. And I finished and- I never shaved ahead before. I don't even like shaving my legs. No, she doesn't. Lucky you or her feet. Oh, yeah, that's the big one. I'm turning it.

What? You shaved your feet? Yeah. What? I feel like why I'm slowly just turning into a guy. It's hot. It's a dream come true. I don't mind. It's nice when your wife turns

into a guy because you can be like, oh no, I have to fuck a guy. My wife looks like my wife looks like Corella Deville. She's just got control weather. She looks like Galmon. Hello. Hello. Well, now. So, how long have you guys been quarantined together? Like, how much have you really gone out? It's two months now.

Is it seven weeks? The 13th, I think, is when Sarah going home. I tell you why you went for a walk. I tell you we're a mask on. How often do you go out? Once or twice a day. We go for a long walk every day. We've been going for a run almost every day. We go for like a nice long juicy walk. A juicy walk. Yeah. Yeah. Like a five miles. Yeah. Oh, that's a long fucking walk. What do you walk to? We walk to the tip of Roosevelt Island the other day.

That was nice. Just a tip. Great album. But yeah, we walk all over a story. We've walked up and down every block now. And we've come very grateful for our neighborhood. We really like the, you know, we have favorite streets now. Yeah, it's really pretty, pretty gay, but you got to make this,

this brings this brings up something I wanted to talk about because I went for my first walk on Saturday, not a walk. We want on a hike because we just like his first walk of his life. Congrats. I get it. I see what you're doing. I like it. Make jokes. Anyways, yeah, but I don't like it when I look back and the person that's making them is fat too. Listen, don't friendly. It's like with black're black people use the N word on each other.

Haha. I, uh, I, we went on a hike up in this. There's a, what nature preserve up here. And I was shocked how many people were not wearing masks. There was a guy running down the path. No man, uh, uh, breathing, he even barrel-chested, rich cock suckin' fuckin' me outta drivein' bitch. Just flyin' down the bed, spitin' shit out.

I got my kid, my wife, my Bernadoodle, and I'm like, dude, you couldn't fuckin' put a mask on. You couldn't, and a lot of people, and it was mostly young people, were just walking around with no masks. This is what I say, and I was talking to a friend about this. Just wear the mask, even if you think it's stupid, or we don't need a mask, that's what we're doing. That's what they told us to do,

that's what we're doing, we're all doing that. And it does say on all the signs in New York, wearing a mask when social distancing is not possible. So if you're alone in the woods, you can just have it underneath, you know, and then when someone's coming, you throw it up there. That's what I do.

That's what we did. We were in the woods, someone we'd see somebody, we pull it up. Oh, wait a minute, make them feel awful about themselves. Well, they let me, they had a mask on, I did the same thing. Well, I don't give a shit. You do it like, are they coming?

Yeah, I said, yeah, I'd be like, pull your mask up. Pull your mask up. And every time we saw somebody, I was like, pull your mask up and look, Max hated it because it was and look, I could hardly breathe, you know, going up a hill with my mouth covered. That's the last thing my heart needs. But, um, you know, it was, uh, you should do it because that's what's going to stop the fucking virus.

And it's the fucking rule. Like I think we should be allowed, if you were up to me, you'd be allowed to just fuck anyone you wanted, even if they didn't want to. But there's a rule against it, so I don't do it. You know what I mean? Thank you for it. Thank you for obeying the rule. Thank you. It's about law. You know what I mean? Thank you for being the rule. Right. It's not law. Who made that rule up? I don't know. It's weird.

What constitutes what makes a favorite street? Some K woman. She's like this sucks. No, what makes you get what makes you what you like streets more than other streets? Their gardens. Oh, pretty. I basically roast every house I walk by. Like three different times Sarah's like look at this fuck and fence. It's painted. It doesn't even match the door. What about you? Lose, you just see the people are sitting there eating crackers outside. Here you go.

Yeah, I wouldn't want to walk around. I don't mind the woods because people are at six feet, pretty much all the time. But I couldn't imagine walking the streets with people everywhere. I'm just scared of the shit out of me right now. Well, here's the other thing I think. Nobody's people aren't getting sick from walking by each other. I think it's extended time, no masks, spending time next to each other, whatever. Like, I don't think anyone's gotten sick

because they walked past each other in a millisecond unless maybe they cough directly onto their tits, whatever. But people do that. I was at the grocery store the other day. There's a lady in the bread line, and she was like, maybe 50. She's wearing a mask, I'm wearing a mask. I gotta get a loaf of bread.

So I walked past her and she went up against the thing and did a big like, where I'm like, I'm not waiting for you to finish in the aisle. We can walk past each other. It's fucking fine. I think a lot of this might have happened on planes. Think about how many planes were in the air for December, January.

People with it on the plane, breathing the same air, cough and sneeze, farting, and then they get off and they bring it home and then they keep spreading it that way. And subways. Don't ever end me. All right, my plane theory hasn't been proved. Don't ever, don't ever me. Don't ever, don't ever with those witch fingers.

Put them down. No, you put your trophy fingers down. What? My, I have regular normal human fingers. That is not true. And everyone knows that your fingers can cause invisibility. Seriously, you're the white Oceano with that big long finger. Yeah. I wish my dick was as long as your finger. Me too. So it's a hot guy. It's as thin. But yeah, I do think I think the subway is huge.

I read a stat. I didn't read a stat. I don't know why I said that. I watched a stat on television. But yesterday 175,000 people flew in America, which seems like a lot. The year before 2.5 million on the same day. So that's really. You know what they say it too is when you're going to fly, it's going

to be a motherfucker because you're going to have to get on the plane, getting through security is going to be a nightmare. Again, it'll be three hours to get on your flight. Yeah, I think we should quit. I think this is a good way to make a living. We sit here and we bullshit. We call it the fast enough. We got to quit stand up and just do it when it came back, just go back. We're all, imagine that we'd be like newcomers in five years. People would forget about us. Then we'd roll in with a solid fucking slam and hour. We'd be like Bob Marley.

I mean, when Bob Marley first came into the comedy, he did a guest spot at Colons and he murdered and we were like, who's the new guy? Yeah, he's been doing it for fucking 10 years up in Maine and he came down and fucking fucking fucking being, fucking being, fucking being, fucking murdered, you know? You think Bob? You think Bob Marley will write something for Gabby? Well, that was a real delay. If you got called tomorrow, would you do a gig next weekend?

It depends on where it is. I mean, first of all, I'm enjoying not doing gigs. I don't know. I would like the money. I'm the happiest person staying home. I love this. I mean, I'm still going to work, but the rest of it, I'm good staying home all day. I don't care.

I don't have to leave for anything. Yeah. I don't know. When's your next gig on the books, Bobby? That's like, they're like, we're doing it because I'm supposed to be in Tampa in August and they're promoting it. I had a camp. I don't know. I don't know. Dude, I have, I had a private function in June or July that I hope is not going to be canceled because it's great money. It's 45 minutes of work and I am fucking,

I need, I just want it. So I hope that okay and I'm hoping because it's a bunch of rich people. So I'm hoping that just like fuck, you know what I mean? They're just like, they've already been vaccinated. Yeah, they've been vaccinated. I come in. They vaccinate me and my family.

Hey, what happened to that video? Did you see that video? Not to go off topic here, but did you see that video? Fake fake, it was like a hot mic. It's fake with a guy said, everyone here is vaccinated. Yeah, that was strange. Wasn't it? It was great, but it was fake.

And if you look at it, you can see the guy comes out of the room, he talks, and then he's completely off mic for the rest of the thing. You don't see his lips, he can't see anything. There's no, there's no way to see the audio tied to it. It's fake. It's good, though. And then they go, it's on C-SPAN. And then they go right to the host and the host just overlooked it totally. Should be like, that's totally fake. Wow. Like the monkey ride in the motorcycle today. Did you see that?

Is that fake? So we analyzed that for a good 20 minutes today. At one point when the monkey jumps up and grabs the girl, you could see at the line of the bench at the bottom, there's a rope. So evidently, there was a rope tied around the monkey and the monkey, they're pulling the rope while it's got the baby.

Because if you see the monkey running away, Mike pull that up. The feet are no longer on the ground, and yet the monkey's still flying down the block. So the monkey had to have a rope tied around it. I'm impressed that somebody just created that as a storyline. It was pretty good. We watched it a bunch of times. Is this it?

Yeah, this is it. It's fucking what? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, The monkey grabbed the baby. The monkey grabbed the baby, but then when it started running away with the baby, somebody was pulling the monkey. I thought that the baby owed the monkey a lot of money. That's why he did it. Listen, somebody's clearly training monkeys to ride motorcycles, that you can't fake. And we,

Is they right bikes? We watch a bunch of videos after that of monkeys riding motorcycles. Monkeys don't have fucking ride motorcycles. If this was the 60s, there'd be a lot of inappropriate jokes right now. Yes, or the 90s. Just put it by the paywall. Or 2012. What the? If this was legionist gangs, we'd make a lot of inappropriate jokes. So I'm glad it's a I look fantastic Glow your positively glowing. I am I'm fucking glowing. It was a hard day today, man

You know I it must be nice for you to just to be a couple. I look at you guys no kids You don't have a dog, right? You know't have any. No. You guys are so free right now. You're so free. You could literally just say, fuck it. And go move to Montana for a couple of years. And I mean, you're so free and happy to take walks, naps, eat when you want, stay up as ladies you want, wake up when you want.

I mean, make love when you want. Yeah. But when you have a, when you have a child, this, this, this, and you don't want to fuck it up, it's so much work. Yup. Fucked everything up. That was great. See, I told you he's funny, Bob. You can get to me and say any stakes is bringing

the show down. I did not aim the other mic. Oh, yeah, he's not great. Yeah, man, I look at you too, and I see, because I just see you guys having such a relaxing drinking tea together and just fucking Sarah's over here doing stuff and you're over there doing you and then you do stuff together it's like that's what you see I don't see that when I look at them. What is it? Sadness. No, not saddened by see Sarah's like I can't take him anymore. She needs more I think less Joe no Joe is no longer

Sufficing her What was the word I'm looking for aggraficing? Yeah, no, he's no longer fulfilling her needs Uh as a man. Yeah, but what I think once you're past like six months of marriage, you don't have to fulfill each other's needs. Just true or screwed now, you already got the contract. Yeah, you're just gonna sleep near each other and stuff. But no, we're having a nice time. It's pretty good.

Do you sleep together? Yeah, we spoon in everything. I sleep upstairs during the week, which sounds awful, but it's really fantastic. It sounds like you're projecting when you describe us. Yeah. Oh yeah, that's typical of much married couples, I would think. I actually like my wife a lot.

And if he likes me, I love. They're good friends. They're really good friends. Easily loved. So you can love your wife, but not like her. It's a fuck, I like my wife, and I think she likes me. Your wife loves you, but she doesn't like you. My wife fucking listen.

That's what I'm saying. My wife loves me but she does not like me a lot. Right. Right. There's a big difference. Today, let me say something about, let me say something my wife today. We have a dog. I love my dog but we probably shouldn't have got it.

But I love doodles, but it's a lot of responsibility that I didn't need. Let me make sure she's not around. Great. The dog, do you think the dog's gonna hear you? No, the broad. Hi, man. So, the backyard, the dog dug a lot of holes

in the backyard, a bunch of fucking holes. I had a guy come over and I said, we got an electric collar and I put it on, and I was like, I'm not doing this. We all agreed. We're not doing the it. We just fuck it. We're not doing the electric college. Too fucking bad. So I had a guy come over, retell the whole backyard, recede it. I said to my wife, Dawn, please, please don't let the dog for the next couple of weeks dig in the backyard. If you're gonna let it go out in the window You have to have run at least you can't yeah, yeah, yeah, don't please please don't let the dog dig in the backyard

You have to okay. I got it great. So I go out this morning I Look in the grass and it looks like you know seeing Vietnam with a had holes But they put leaves over the holes to cover it up where people would fall in the combined side crap Yeah, the dog dug two fucking holes in the backyard this chick goes and gets And puts it on top of the hole Cover it up. I Cover it up. I go, I'll let that go.

You don't leave it there if you fell in it. And I literally had the argument with, I was on the phone with Quinn, I go, here's the argument. I'm gonna go and say that. She's gonna go, yeah, well, I was doing this, this, and this. So that's why.

So if you didn't want me to do this, this, and this, and this, for you, then maybe you should watch the dog. And I walked in, and I had, and it was exact fucking exactly what I said. It wasn't her fault. She didn't, she was doing something for me. And that's why she let the dog.

It was either the dog, dog a hole, or I didn't get something. You know what's fucked up? Is that normally you can go, I'm making the fucking money in this house, but now you can't even have that. I'm depending on that bitch's 1200. Oh, for the package stimulus. Did you guys get stimulated? I didn't get shit. I got mine today. I don't get it. You're dad's rich. He should be applying.

I'm loaded. That's horseshit. I applied. Yeah. Yeah. That's the biggest man. Hey. Uh, what was that?

That was a nose. Oh, juice. Oh. Oh. Why does everybody have awesome tea cups? I want a fucking nice tea cup. I got a nice one. views. Oh, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha We got tea over here. What about that cup? How many cups you drank from a three day old cup one time? What about that cup? All right, no. One day was sitting there doing the podcast and I fucking, I took a sip

and it was from coffee from two days ago. Oh. Oh. This is like, just look, I sipped on my grandmother's asshole. I did that with my own cup a couple of days ago. Oh. She's, sorry. So, was it a cup?

It was in a cup. I make them come in a cup. Yeah. Hi. Fun. I love that. Switch it up. What more? What weird section of you guys tried in the quarantine. Oh,

I caught you to the weird gross little laugh after that. I can't get my fucking thing back up because Rich Voss just called me, Mike Haupp. Okay, doing a lot of name dropping. I'm doing a lot of 1998 name dropping. You can't see the zoom on your iPhone? Oh, there I am, sorry. Yeah, Rich Voss called me.

I don't know why he's calling me. You know why? Why? I'm a junior show tonight. I wanna be on your show. Yeah. Show everybody my lawn. So I have a stupid show.

Yeah. I am fucking green thumb voss is bugging me. He he thinks it's like he thinks he's actually giving information. He's just telling us how great he is again. Yeah. Doesn't make sense. And no one's buying it. I had a idea. What's that? Oh, it's not going to work. But Mike said no one's buying it. And I said, what are we talking about his CD now?

The fact that he has CDs, it's mind boggling to me, that he thinks that he has the fact that he has CDs. It's mind boggling to me that he thinks that somebody has a CD player at their house and they're going home and putting a CD player. And I know you probably do because you guys are fucking retro hipsters from Queens. We don't have a CD player. We have a record player.

No, you. But we don't have CDs. We're not hassles. I have a record player. I have you, but we don't have CDs. We're not assholes. Oh, I have a record player's. I have one too. A record player's cool. A CD player's just stupid. Yeah, it's sad.

It's sad. There's something sad about it. Yeah, we're having like a case logic. That's depressing. What's a case logic? One of those big traffic keynotes for CDs. That's funny. Remember that?

You had to have it in your car. Remember you had to be in the car to be one button, got somebody's job to open it and go through them. Yeah, yeah. Nirvana, boom. Well, people talk about texting while driving. I had that thing. It was like in a cyclopedia.

Like this. And I'd be flipping through and pulling them out. And then also you had the CDs that just had one song that you like. So I'd do that for like one song, be like, I gotta hear this. I would do that like 14 times. I'm gonna drive.

You loved the new program, I'm? I like it very much. Yeah, we just bought, it was like a visual, at least a visual arts bullshit thing that can't, I can't not buy it But it's good. I think it's better than the last couple. Did you buy the visual thing? I bought the visual thing I bought the wreck. I mean, I'm a real fucking dude. I'm 11 years old still I bought the video Gabby's taking her headphones off. We got to change the topic. I just bought do you see that fanatic singlet

They're doing the raise money They uh any vetter's got a thing where they'll take you to the show, sound check, and then you'll actually be up there with him singing a song. I'm like a grand into it already trying to buy the fucking thing. What? I didn't hear about that. I'd like to do that. It's one of those celebrity fanatic things where you can buy like a raffle ticket for it. Bob, you should do that. Have a kid come in, cut your cigars and light them for you. It weighs like 15 bucks for somebody. Mochardi does that.

Like a, like a, like a gunga din? Gunga din. You don't know what a gunga din is? Now. A little Indian boy, you can hire for like fucking seven million root peas, which is 50 cents. How do you know that? I'm not saying, fuck a kid, I'm saying you get somebody.

I'm like, that's actually a little more expensive. That's 75 cents. I don't think that's right. What fucking kids? I agree with you. I don't think you're good. I don't think your definition of a Ganga-Din is correct. Fucking absolutely. Look it up, dude. Is it like a ward? You a gonga din is good. I can absolutely look it up there.

It's like a ward. You have a gonga cheeks. It's a character from a rubber, rubber, rubber, gippling poem. Rudyard, gippling, yeah. Rudyard, say it, Rud. You got to go, say Rud. You got to go, say Rud.

You mean the guy got fucked? I'm not going to be happy until you say it. Rudyard, gippling, Rud, Rudyard, gippling. There you go. You have to think. I'm going to go pop. I'm going to go pop. I'm going to go pop. I'm going to go pop. I'm going to go pop. I'm not gonna be happy to you man Rud your tippling rod your Kipling day ago Thanks dad I genuinely think

Mushy Mike does not enjoy this show The hyenas he the heinus he loves him. He loves the Chrissy and Janus Those two fucking hoot nannies those two Joe had a problem with them right recently. Why one of them is very funny Look at Sarah because Sarah knows the juicy details will never know Revell I know she knows the pillow shit. No Oh, just it's okay. I agree with you. He is like that, but don't worry about it. No, I should worry But no, he's listen, you know you like you know you like he's a good the other one just let him go

What's fun is it's because we're both comics. That ends and then it's like, okay, my turn. And I'm like, uh-huh, yeah, no, totally. She is. Turn stop. What happened? What happened with Yama's? Oh, nothing happened with Yama.

I mean, I was just a zing. The thing that happened with them was they took my thing and we're like, this is hey, everyone write Heybert on his wall. So I got fucking 9,000 people writing Heybert on my fucking page. Why don't they do that on the reviews of my podcast but I shouldn't talk about here because they'll start doing it again. Oh, what are they? They call another comic Hey Bert because he looks like Bert James Mattern and so when you posted your your meme they all latched on to it.

Which Bert though? Reynolds or Bernie? Bert and Ernie. Criter. So. No, I didn't have a problem. I was just like a thing of like, do what the fuck? You got it.

Look how much lights up when he starts talking to Ienus. Damn, he was like. Blowing. Ask him what we did on the show yesterday. No clue. What we do yesterday, Mike. Yeld like, ask him what we did on the show yesterday. No clue. Well, we do yesterday, Mike. He yelled at me. No, we didn't. That's not fair because that's every episode. And that was the joke. I know you didn't yell at me. You asked me which show I liked better. I guess you're nobody has yelled at you in a week. I think a week and a half maybe.

Since Bobby started writing down his affirmations and reading the daily, he is not yelled at you. That's right, since I started writing my affirmations down. No, that's great. We interviewed Jared Fried and we asked me which show I prefer to be on. And you said which one? You asked me which show was more fun.

I said recently had been this one. And it was, we had a guy, we had those guys jerk off on camera. So what? Why was that? What show is it? Why was I on that episode? The sat, oh, you didn't know what happened Saturday? I'm called in Kelly.

You can be after this is over, if you'd like. Speaking, you should watch Stranger's on a Lake. Stranger's by the Lake. You guys ever hear of that movie? No. We watched it It's basically a gay porn that has an amazing plot line Gay porn of all time

We didn't we had no idea we started watching it and it's just like full on dicks coming and like hand jobs and the woods and then Then there's a murder later. It's like sex like guys fucking like the, yeah, and they show penetration lips on a dick. They show like a hard cock blowing a load. And I bought the poster because the movie was so good. Can we show him the poster? I feel his pants as he views around right now.

I got the photo, sir. I got the photo, I'll show you. Joe is so excited. God, just read an actor right now. I got the photo, I'll show you. Joey's so excited. Good, just re-enact it right now. There's the poster. You can kind of see there. Oh, it's kind of Wes Anderson, almost. I didn't realize you look closer.

And they have little guys. Oh, like this guy's fucking dog is that. He's got like a 10 inch muddy. But the guy in the back's blowing a guy. There we go. Look at the guy wearing the back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's he's he's going down on a guy's tank. You got to watch the movie because these are all scenes

from the movie and it's real hot, you know, but the plot is amazing and it's great movie. And great acting. Where's that beach? Oh, they're not acting. It's And it's a great movie. And great acting. Where's that beach? Oh, they're not acting. It's a French film. It's a French film. Where's the...

It's Fire Island. It's in my dreams is where it is. I hope they remake it in America. So let's do. More. What would they redo it at like a, at Cana B. Lake? And it's all kids.

Just red neck, just gay red necks. But it's a hell of a film. We got the poster. I'm excited. Yeah, I was like, what are you excited about? This is throw me off. Well, gay sex. I love, uh, yeah, guys, look at that guy with the purple shirt there. Going off. Looks like Yannis going down on Chris.

History I mean in biopic. Is that on you wall? We love posters. We love movie posters. We love foreign films. It was a great movie, it was a cool poster, so we got it. And I always wanted to have a guy's dick out and someone blowing another guy, and I figured cartoon doesn't, it's not too weird. What do you mean you always wanted that? I just like guys blowing each other. A little boy. She doesn't like that being you should get if you really wanted it. Yeah, I might, I mean, after this, I think this is putting a lot of things in perspective,

you know? So I think once we get out, if we get out, I might see if someone will suck my dick. Who, what kind of guy would you like? Well, Bob is great lips. Can I just say something you live in Queens? You can literally walk out, you do a wink at the first guy and suck his dick near a trash can next door. What are you crazy? You can get blown and bushes in central park. When the rambles you can literally go Sarah. I'll be right back. Do you want a slushie? Go through a bush. You dig, suck. Suck a dick. Come back with a slushie in five minutes.

a bush. He did suck. Suck a dick, come back with a slushie in five minutes. Nobody knows nothing. Hmm. Yeah, it's pretty good. That's why New York's great. That's fine. But that movie makes it seem like being gay is like unbelievable because they're crude.

They're all just and then there's a couple scenes with this guy. He's like a voyeur and he's like jerking off and then the guy will come up from the dick and be like, hey, beat it. Get out of here. Not beat it. But they'll say, get out. Stop beating it and leave. We have this area on my way to work that I pass every morning.

It's mangroves. It's big mangrove trees and it's right on the access to the water. Is that park or pass? It's a pass. No, do you park or do you pass it? Oh, I pass it. I drive by it. And I'm like,

Very slightly. Did you dig out? I like to look and see what's around. But on one side, it's like a boat ramp where cars go in on the other side is where gay guys go into the bushes and just do shit in the bushes. And I always just,

I always wanted to park and go in there because I imagine once you get through the mangroves, it's just like all fucking skittles and rainbows on the other side. But I mean, I go to work at four o'clock in the morning, there's always cars there. Always, always. Next time I'm gonna sample, me and you are fucking,

fucking, we're, I was hoping that we didn't get the pattern. Next time I'm gonna sample, fuck yourself, yeah. I'm gonna take Joe there, I'm gonna take Joe there in August. Next time I'm gonna, next time we're gonna go pull over and walk through those pan groves Top cakes and candles What if it was a little town this little quaint town It's like a little big a village Free scooters and bikes. Welcome.

Welcome. You made it. Congrats. You made it. We've been sending you messages for years. Every once in a while I'll drive home and I'll see the cops there and I'll drive by and they'll just be some fat naked guy there talking to the cops. Fully naked. Fully naked. Gotcha brings the cops. Wow. It's so taxing to be to be a gay guy. You know what I mean? It must be like just really hard to because you can fuck.

You can like the option to meet a chicken of bushes. Very slim. But right. That's right. Yeah. For gay guy slim Guy The spots cruising spotching motor and me to guy and get in it so it's not like it's It's I don't think it's a dirty or fucked up thing It's just something that's available to them in their sexuality and why wouldn't you do it? If there was a spot behind Best Buy or off the street And she sucks my nuts and I eat her fucking box for a little bit and come home

and have dinner, I'd do it. It would be hard not to do it. Right. Now put both of the sides of that equation doing the same thing. Both 30 fucks, it works out perfect. It does, but it's relaxing because to get arrested, it's so, it must be so scary to have that option. Because you have to be exhilarating. No, it's exhilarating, but you're home.

I really want to be, and then you're like, I could go down the street and go sit on a bench in the dark, and then it's like, cops might come, it's like a frantic. That's a lot. I think it's harder to stay loyal in a gay male relationship because you can get your

dick sucked outside. Like I could walk for miles. No one's blowing me, not a woman. Yes. I think they have more open relationships than straight couples do. Yeah, they have to because they all like it late because that's the thing. Both parties are dudes. Like if Sarah had dude brain,

we would have fucked 700 times a day. Should her legs would be broken. My pussy would be out of commission. She would be banging one of the hyenas. One of them. One of them. Just one. Not the other one, that one.

One of them I have about 48 dick pictures of. So. Yeah. How funny. How funny is that? Oh pictures of so How funny is that everybody how funny is that is that I Chris he would Joe sent me a dick pick once and it was of Chris's dick So I I showed Chris the pick and he goes that's my dick. I go. No, it's that's Joe's He was so fucking mad that it was his dick, and I didn't believe my kept saying it was Joe's

dick that's my dick that's my dick am I right relax fucking have a fucking queen chill I got it it's Joe's dick don't be jealous he's Joe's got a nice piece we have similar dick I think if they're similar you do not have similar dicks I'm telling you Joe you my dick. Let me see Chris's dick. No, cuz it looks like mine It looks like his but 2.0 My dick hold on your dick is good, but it's the original dick It's getting why didn't you guys go dick your dick is like the first iPhone Chris is like iPhone 11 max

You just asked why we didn't get anything because that already happened on this show. Yeah, all right people loved it though What when I showed my dick? You why you can show you dick on patreon mic? No, but Joe was showing his dick last time he was on who's trying I tell you what I would call Joe on the road And he'd be talking to me for fucking 10 minutes. And then he slowly pinned down his cock with him and it was out the whole time. It's the full mod, too. I don't know how you got a rod talking, listening to my bullshit, you know, dude, the fucking

cheque spot and then the fucking later doesn't even care. And it's your lips, man. I just saw it. You got beautiful lips. That's how. Yeah. So are you guys going to, are you guys okay? Is everything all right with you guys?

What do you mean as a couple? No, like this whole pandemic thing. Is this, is this, uh, are you guys, uh, are you guys in it to win it? Are you thinking about other options? What are you doing? I think we're here. I don't know. I mean, like, I've been enjoying, I just find that sometimes doing stand-up is very time-consuming.

And so I kind of like doing, I don't mind doing Zoom shows and I like podcasts and I like making videos. And I can just do it all here and not have trouble. A show where you just walk around the neighborhood and shit on people's houses. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty funny. Well Sarah started a two minute film festival, the At Home Film Festival.

Bob, you should do one. Yeah. The rest of you should. Can I enter my film loan? Yes. Oh my God. Please enter a loan. You've never, uh, um, um,

mush, can you bring up just a couple minutes of loan? And I think under two minutes. It's so good. I think it is under two minutes. Well, I can cut it down definitely. Just one of you have to go on. You know what, dude? At the hotel?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joe, you were on that app. Yeah, don't do that one. Why? Something better than that. We want to be good. What the fuck is, loan is good, dude. We want it to be good. What the fuck is loan is good? I like loan.

Let the fucking president of the two-minute film festival see a couple minutes. Don't the whole thing. Just a couple minutes of loan. Yeah. Because that was the loan person that enjoyed it. First of all, loan was enjoyed by a lot of people. A lot of people. A lot of people. It was, I made a, a film in my room at a hotel. Here we go. Oh, I love it. Wait, get it back. Yeah. There we go.

Best part. Are you did a description? You've got mute everybody so they can hear you. I can hear everyone. I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you.

I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you.

I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear everyone. What's this? Captivating.

I like that you gained weight for this role. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. You could edit where it fits in for the festival. Yeah, this is perfect.

I think this is great. Yeah, it's more captivating than most of the stuff that we got. The acting is really... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait No one did Jim Serpico. Fuck, I didn't want to work him anymore. Are you shitting here? No, I'm fucking fantasizing. Oh, I'm feeling like I should be doing voiceovers. Depression hits everyone. Oh, he's outside. Yeah, that's the painting. That's right, Joe. This is found footage. What happened, Mike?

Mike? Oh, shit. Oh, shit. All right, go to the end. Go to the end. Go to the end. Go to the end. He's going to the end.

This is good. get this is long and shit wow I'm about to add and wait go to the end all right there you go this is oh two minutes passed thank you you see the clock yeah she's an artist she's a filmmaker she gets it I thought when you showed the painting that you were thinking about things you could jump off of. No. I can't. That's good. No, there you go.

All right, boom. Yeah, that would be perfect for the film festival. What's a little long for the film festival? I feel like you can go over two minutes. I can edit it. I can edit it down. But it's really fun. What's the Instagram?

Tell them the Instagram. It's just called, the Instagram is at home film festival and then it's on May 21st is our next showing. That's great. That's awesome. Yeah. Some of us made really good films and other people. Some of them you could tell by watching them that when they got the email with the invite, you could tell that they reacted like this. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Just by the way, the movie came out, you're like, they didn't want to do this. And then other people, it was awesome. I didn't get an invite.

No, you don't, you don't send a fucking genius round one. You make sure you do a test run to make sure it's okay. What did you do? We did a test run. A genius. A provocateur. Yeah, you're not a provocateur. I think by my, by loan, you can see Sarah, my desire and my passion for the independent

short. Yes, I got that. Yeah, I think you did that. Yeah, I like the black and white choice that was good Very French I'd thank you very much. I'm gonna take I'm gonna take loan and I'm gonna make it a big budget film You know depressing that would be Lot everywhere. I mean people would commit suicide during the showing of loan everywhere. I mean, people would commit suicide during the showing of loan.

Maybe like that fucking Japanese forest, where people go and kill themselves, they go into the showing of loan at Angelica and just fucking shoot. Yeah, we're here. We're staying here. People started leaving and going to their parents house and shit. We have a nice home. We built a good home I like queens. I like being in New York. What the fuck are we gonna go? Yeah, we're getting coffee outside We go out for coffee. I get my bagel we go and live out. What do you masks look like? Sarrad Fanny's Sarah Vanys. There's little fans.

I'll show you. Yeah, there's just like the standard blue ones. I was wearing. You haven't done any crazy shit. No. Oh, I was trying out a hijab. Is that how you pronounce it? Hi, job.

Hijab. What is his job? Yeah, hijab, is that how you pronounce it? Hi, job. Job. Job? Hi, job, yeah. Like, you know, Mike, what is this job? He, he job. He, job, you can make one out of a t-shirt. You should make Joe wear that. Yeah, I'll see you. Don't get the t-shirt, show him.

Look at this thing, my wife made. It's really, through your hair. With your hair and that mask, you look sickly. How does that stay on your chin? Doesn't, it literally doesn't. I'm the only guy that can, you know, look at it. This is this is just coming down I maybe want to kill myself for the first two weeks I can yawn my mask off. Oh this terrorist look at this it's a patriot shirt though. Yeah but that's I mean Sarah that's not really that. wait wait wait wait wait for it you got to wait for it

All right I think I'm gonna be art I know it's Yeah, yeah Oh that's good I like them I like that too. Joe that's's your bangs in the next. You should have, you should have maybe later tonight. What do you think? Yeah, I'd be into that. Just because she looks like a spy. Yeah. I called in this. I went running in this one one day and some guy came on. What did they say?

He asked if he could go running with me. What did you say? I said, no, I got to get home before my husband beats me. No, you can bang her while she's wearing that and you stare at the poster. Yeah, that's not. Yeah, that's not bad. It has to be anal too. And then, you know, put a little ball bag on her.

Sounds about right. Is that a thing? Can you just buy ball bags? But what do you like what? I could say a ball bag. Let's see. Well, they have those the suction cup dildo with the ball bag. They can why do you need balls on a dildo though? For reality. Yeah, you want to feel something. That's the worst part of reality. Yeah, you need something hitting that fucking seam wrinkle.

I put ball bag into Amazon and I just got these. Yeah, my kids got this. You don't want to talk. Yeah, yeah, you could kind of try this. But I think ladies doggie style that ball bag slap it up again is like exciting, I think. Yeah, I think so. I think, I mean, whether you know it or not, they're favorite part. Yeah.

It's so good. Gabby, what? You don't like nuts? I don't, not like them, but I don't love that. It's like parsley. You kind of don't need it. And sometimes it's't love them. Like, parsley, you kind of don't need it. And sometimes it's there and you're like, oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. It was that love nuts. Who? I'm not going to give you the name, you fucking rat. The dog. The dog. Surely. I don't know what dog likes.

Don't this. Don's never, don's, I don't think don's ever touch my nuts I have a sucked in that I have a thing to you. That's have this I've heard so else to have it My you know you ball make it's tight when you come when you shoot a load It gets like tight against the body my ball goes like up inside as I'm coming Coming I gotta pull it out with my my middle finger and thumb. That can't be good. Grunchy, all right. I go, ah, let's air a kick in this thumb. I could pop straight back up. No, I have to, what I do is I hold my nose and mouth and go back up. Do it. Do it right now. What? Oh, no, I can't. My balls are long.

When I'm not coming or freezing, my ball bag is nine feet long. If it's still close, I'm 38. Wait till you're 48. I sat on my nuts getting out of the car the other day and it fucking hurt. I've sat on my nuts. I've sat on my nuts. I've sat on my nuts. I've pissed on my nuts sitting down. I don't know why I got every day. I didn't like them. I had to untwist my nuts. I had to untwist my nuts. I had bush garden. We were walking so much. It was hot my nuts got so so staggy

Twisted at a at a reach into my pant leg and untwisted like a Can you pull your balls sack back enough far enough to tuck it into your butthole? Yes, oh good question. Sometimes try that. I'm not trying to find I probably could mine really long and really red Yeah, mine why is it red like a baboon. Yeah, kind of. Yeah. Oh, baboon, that's over there. I think she's going to the hospital. It looks like they hurt. There's no better feeling though than when on a hot day when you slowly peel your ball bag off your leg. It's such a pleasurable slow peel. Is there any good, I mean, women will never know this feeling, but getting in the bed late at night and then just reaching down my pants,

having my iPhone in one hand, on my Instagram stories and having my nuts in my other hand and just, just, no. No. And scratching them and just, you know, let them relax. I give them a nut massage at the end of the day. I think when we take our broth, that might be the similar feeling of relaxation.

Mm. Yeah, really, you titties. They're so heavy. Yours? Yeah. I'm? I'm fine. I have big attits in Gabby. I'm not for Gabby because she doesn't get the ball peel or the take in the bra. I got fucking nothing.

Gabby put a f**k in. But Gabby put a cleavage shot on Instagram the other day and I look at show my wife she goes, who's that guy? Gabby has a super, super sensitive butthole though. Yes. You do? Yes. And the way, emotional, it's more emotion-based, yeah. Mm-hmm.

Is it like, my real- This is something that Kalta and I only share with each other, so I'm kind of shocked that he did say that. I have a really nice podcast, but yes, did you guys hook up? Yep. Look at Mike. He's like, I knew that I twadducked up with Mike. Mike, I'll fuck you, Mike. Which Mike are you talking to? I'm talking to mush.

Look at him. It looks like a mushroom. Ha ha ha. Sarah, can I ask you a question that we've asked every female that's been on the show in the past month? And this is not, uh, this is just, I know we just met, but if someone broken here apartment and killed Joe and then forced you to have to make sweet love

to either me or Bobby, who would you pick? No, I'm not like that. Please be honest, you will not hurt anybody's feelings. We got a good running talent in here. But we wouldn't fucking. Oh, you're dead, it doesn't matter. I'm gonna have to say, she's gonna have to say Mike because if she says me,

I mean, me and Joe is so close, it's gonna fuck Joe up. I was gonna say Mike, but I also am just like, and it's not Because I don't want to ruin our friendship What an interesting burglar You don't want to ruin our friendship I was just you Joe I learned just you Joe

Jewelry no fuck one of these fat guys No, you don't want to hurt my feelings by picking Him over me Sarah honestly God who would you pick me or Mike? You'd pick Mike. Why can't you answer my name? Oh, thank you. You would pick Mike over me. I don't know.

Look at Joe. Look at Joe. Joe said. Joe did. Joe, give her the, give her the pass to make it on a decision please just tell her it's okay Sure, well, I mean I'll just okay. I'll fuck you Bobby This is how it goes every time the girl picks me and then Bobby guilt them into changing their mind I love she said can I fuck boss?

No, no Fuck boss, can I do boss? No, basically no. That is the choice. That is the choice. That is the choice. You can do it. We never give you a choice. It's tricky because, you know, Bobby has the lips,

you know, very nice lips. I've seen it. Yeah. But I feel like Bobby's temper is gonna be a problem. You know what I mean? If you don't come fast enough or if you're a queen, Mike feels like he'd be very accepting. Bobby, I feel like he's gonna hit you if you don't come the right way. Mike, is your kid still in the room? No, no, no, no. That kid is learning more about sex since we started this podcast than I ever thought before. You think I would hit Don if

she doesn't come correctly You didn't fucking reach around you got to touch my ball By the way, mushy Mike could not be enjoying this less. I mean I don't I don't think you like any of us anymore. No Michael Totten just said okay, Gail's what sound do you make when you take off your bra? So it was just the between the patreon comments Um you take off your bra. So just reading the Patreon comments. Found? Don, I fucking wanted to thumb in my butt. I told you three times. Why don't I have to ask for it every time you know what to do? I did get mad at her girl one time because she didn't have a bank. This girl, uh, and you just lay there? Yeah, she, she did, she was on on top, and her movement was so awkward.

Her rhythm was so stutter-stepped. I went, I shook her waist, I go, just move with me, what are you doing? She was like, I'm trying, and I'm like, we'll stop, we'll see from. Is, wow, where are we from? She's a premium. Where'd you go? Yaskarady is really on me.

Did you get your money back? It was nasty. We tell your story about the- Please avoid cancellations. Oh. Oh. No, my story was I fucked a girl. I fucked a woman.

It was that city steam and heart stuff. This makes me laugh. And I was probably like 24th of the time. And like I thought she was old, but she would probably like 36 or something. But she was like divorced and she came up to me afterwards, was like come back to my place or whatever.

We drank beer. And then she had like a sports car, like a red Fucking I don't know two doors sports. You think maybe a Porsche probably wasn't a Porsche and she got on the highway It was playing Buck cherry and was just flying like we even in an out of car She was like And like the wind was flow and I was like this is crazy and it sounds hot, but it was not for me Got her house and she put buck cherry. You're a crazy bitch but you fuck so good.

You're on top. She peed and she was fucking me calling me a nerd. She was like grinding on me. She's like, yeah, you fucking nerd. You like that. You're a man. At one point I warned her. I was like, hey, I take Paxle for my anxiety.

I can't really come. I can't really come. I don't really come very easily. What a bird! She was like, if you don't come, I'm gonna be pissed. And then I couldn't come, because I couldn't come anyways, but she said if you don't come, I'm gonna be pissed. So it's like maybe extra nerve. So then at one point, she's like, I gotta get you off. It was like this thing, where she's like, how am I not getting this boy off? And she got out and just sucked my dick like 45 minutes.

And the whole time, crazy bitches on. And finally, I ended up like, we got it going. I'm not gonna be able to do it. Sorry. Now whenever you fucking can here, if you're every time you hear a crazy bitch, you're not gonna be able to come ever again He drove me back and she was pissed. It was like silent treatment like she was upset. It was like we were dating Back doing like 120 miles an hour. That was a beautiful

God damn it. What a great story. That's that's that is one of those moments where out of tragedy comes fucking light. Light is that we got to laugh at that fucking atrocious story. Nice chuckle in the middle of a pandemic. Happy just thinking to you just that song, which I love that song, you fucking nerd. Why would he call you a nerd? You're a jock. You're not a third. You call me a nerd a bunch. And I do remember feeling genuinely bad. Like, I'm like, this lady's going to be really upset. I'm like, what are you doing?

I was like, there's no way. Like, I have trouble coming now with no. Was she thrashing her hair about? Oh, yeah. I had to have bangs layers it was wild she put in her apartment looks like uh I don't remember I mean I mean I was in like crazy it wasn't overly memorable what a cram nagle pictures yeah it wasn't it wasn't nice or insane it was just kind of not memorable that's hilarious but she fucked me like I was, you know,

deep-nighter or something. How are you coming now? I can come now, but I'm still, I get, I get straggling action. Like it takes me nine minutes to urinate sometimes. My brain to dick is disconnected. I get, I feel the pressure. What does it mean? What does it mean when you when you the only way you can come is if your wife is on her stomach with a pillow over the back of her head can you push her butt together so it looks like a guy butt. What does that mean? It's your cool. Oh okay. Well it gets harder you know when you're having sex for years, you should have to start getting weird. It's, yeah, I have an, we, we, we get a band. I don't know if we're, I don't even know what she wants from me.

I got to talk to her because I don't, I mean, I think she might let me fuck other people. I don't know what's going on. I don't know where we're at right now. I don't know what's going on. Like, I, like, I think she might literally let me get blown by other, I mean she might be like just go. I don't care We're gonna be together. We're not leaving each other at least until he's 18 We're gonna be together forever, but do what you want to do But you know, but the the problem is is that I don't want her to do what she wants to do

I don't want to come on. Let's see some plumber walking out. Hey, Bob. What's up? I don't want to see that What about my theory if you come down here and then eventually we wife swap Yeah, but wife swap them with us. It's the same wife. Like if your wife look like Sarah, that'd be a different thing Thank you Sarah's a blonde. She's little hipstery. You know what I mean? She's got a square jaw like a young boy. I mean But this just went off like 10 minutes. He's like, he's got nice tits. Good ass. I don't know, dude. If we wife swap, it's the same girl. Don't you think? No, absolutely not. Well, apparently, if I can, well, right? I think they're way different. Wow. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the danger zone. I just think the problem with the swapping is it's a loose loose for them. Yeah, it's a loose loose for them now.

I want to share the screen. Oh, yeah. What do you want to do? You want to follow up a banger of a story with some real silence? My favorite photo ever is Max She's hot. Oh, yeah It's a good looking name. All right. Okay, you ready? That was mine. It worked Yeah, it worked. Yeah, you're looking what year is that? That was mine it worked. Yeah, it worked. Yeah, you're looking at what year is that? That was last year. Oh, Gabby that was passive aggressive. Was it? Yeah

She looks so good in her 20s How old do you think she is? Gary 42 boom nailed it Whenever I want to see a picture from Bobby it's always the picture of him sitting on the couch with nuts hanging out of his shorts You want to see my wifey wife? Why I don't have any fucking pictures this broad. I know I find your wife to be attractive with the headbands and the whole thing. He's gorgeous. Oh, I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it, here we go. Now, I'm fucking Christ. I feel like if I was with your wife, she would tell me the things she doesn't like about

you, actually, as we were doing it. I hope Bobby puts Christie's dick up on the screen. Well, the wig on it. What the wig on it? I had banned on it. Oh, Gabby's got the hair down. All right, here we go. Watch Jesus Christ. All right, here we go. Where the fuck is this, brod?

Just call her over. Jesus Christ. You don't like your wife. No, yeah. We're in quarantine. I get old. He's't like your wife. We're in quarantine. I get all. Oh, all right. Here she is. I got no pitches to this, bro. It's not a good sign.

Why? I'm gonna drawing his max drawn or it's what if you just described her really well because that might take a minute. I immediately went to my Facebook and in two seconds just pulled out the first picture I saw. My wife doesn't like to be on the bottom. there's a little blurry but hang on. See that oh there she is. That's a great picture. Okay, I'm in. It's the same girl. Yeah, they're pretty close. But you're out of your mind, Mike. It's the same girl. There's no difference. It's a brunette. It's a it's a five four brunette. I don't even have different fashion. They don't they dress the same. They have this pocketbooks, the same shit. They cook the same. They're the same fat guy.

They both like in the butt. No, I've never been there. Oh, she likes it in the butt. Huh? Huh? I'm not talking about this butt. I can't believe it. Huh? I'm not talking about this anymore. Why? You brought it up. You brought it up. You brought it up.

You brought it up. You brought it up. You brought it up. You brought it up. You brought it up. You brought it up. You brought it up. You brought it up.

You brought it up. You brought it up. You brought it up. You brought it up. You brought it up. You brought it up. You brought it up. You brought it up. You brought it up. Yeah, that's why she's making it. What about a finger? First, all right, listen slut. I am. If you were, if you were making a video too,

what about a finger? If you were making sweet love to your wife and the style of dogs, then she turned around to your style of dogs. Bobby, Bobby, put it in my butt, you'd say no? If she was like, first of all, she went, Bobby, I go, why are you talking like an idiot? Whatever accent you have.

Hey, kid, put it in my butt. Yeah, that's great. I wanted to sound like a guy from Dorchester. He fucking kids sticking in my rub. I, I, if my, if in the middle of the sink, she went like, I I If in the middle of the sink she went like if she literally would have to like reach from behind and open up her butt and go Put it put it in there and and it have to be subtle, but like she'd have to give a head nod like how is reaching back and opening her butt subtle What's your business you fucking?

Settle is me like. All I need to hear her say is you're crushing my foot and I go, do you see it put it in your butt? You know, I don't really like it in the butt. I used to like it in the butt. You know, in your butt? No, I knew you were going to go down that route. That's what you said.

I used to like it in the butt. All right, I'll be more. I just don't know you're saying how it's better than a vagina. It's not better. It's not better. It's tight and then once you get through, then it's all air up in here. It's not better. It's a guy.

It's just open fields. There has a secret compartment in our assholes. Don't care in your assholes. You're a mule before this. They're whole savings in gold coins because Louis said get gold and that's where they I'm not a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy.

I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy.

I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy.

I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad wall. You saved that person from night to eat the lightest. That was like a little nutshell. And I just went and hit the wall. She was like, oh, that's gross. We're going to do some top ticket line. She kind of was gross. She should have been like, you're the one eating too many fucking cucumbers.

She was, she's a fucking ass. I eat vegan ass all. She was she's a fucking acai vegan asshole. You guys have never done it in the butt. No, they have. She just said she knows the innermost of her asshole. She knows that it's time. And then it becomes a field. That's how you know she hasn't had anal.

She thinks it's just a rim and nothing else. I should work for the FBI. She's emotionalist when you say things to her. She just stare at you. Look at Joe and tell him you want to try it tonight. No, you don't have to do that. Yeah, little breaker. Yeah, it's all dry down there. I'll just crumble. Yeah, it has cro- Yeah, it's all dry down there. I'll just crumble.

Yeah, it has crows, it has crows feet. I found out that some girls have the shave that area. What? Some girls have the shave that area. Like my asshole looks like. Remember when we got Saddam Hussein and he'd been in the like whole throw while everywhere. That's what my asshole looks like. Let's see. Looks like remember when we got Saddam Hussein and he'd been in that like whole throw up Everywhere that's what my asshole looks like

Yours is fine your asshole looks like they like a peanut butter stamp like somebody took a stamp and put it in a Hand it on the back both of you go off the camera and then show one of your but holes on us I got pimples all over my ass. I got like, the rosacea. It's a lie. What are you? What the fuck? It's a doughy and mush. It's gross. Stop sitting down so much.

Get up and arrow at your asshole. I run five miles a day over here. I got bad butt skin. Joe is like trying to drive chicks away from him. I got my lady. Right. And you're trying to scare all the other, he's a nerd with a rosacea asshole. Yeah, but Joe's not a nerd.

Joe looks like a nerd. Joe is a fucking sports out. Joe is like one of the biggest jocks I know. Thank you. Yeah, I'm more of an alpha, really. Yeah, you know, he's like getting carried away. I'm trying to back up there, but you're not a fucking alpha. You don't even know, you don't even know,

you're in a pack. You're, you're in other species. You're a bird. Listen. When they made dog, you're alone. You're, you're alone sparrow in a tree. Listen. Romantic.

What did you just say? Thanks. Bobby, what did you just say? I. Gabby, what did you just say? I said that's romantic. Oh, thank you. Gabby, I fucked in God damn it, I wish I- What? Keep going! Even in the corona, I feel like Gabby's butthole is pristine right now. Thank you.

Gabby's butthole is, I- Like, porcelain. I bet Gabby's, because she's a vegan. It's always green. There's like a it glows in the dark. That's kind of like Gary, like it looks like a bar of soap. Like you're just like you've never been touched. You're just clean and nice.

Like you're like a dove bar out of the box. Yeah. Yeah. There she goes. Thanks. Thanks. Thank you. You're a typical woman answer.

Thanks. Thanks. That's a compliment. I'll take that as a compliment too. Thank you Put that fucking witch finger down stop cursing people Whatever Maxie know it's Dawn she was listening. She's like a totally fucking swap. Yeah, please, please Hi buddy, come here. Oh Hey I'm saying she's in hi. Hey. I'm gonna say goodbye. Hi. How you doing?

What are you doing out here? What did you tell your mother? Are you coming out here? Yeah, I told her. What did she say now? No. She said yes. Can you please?

Can I please what? Can you please, Shush? Me? I'm doing my show. Shush. Shush. Shush. I'm trying I'm doing my show this just Just Then I know what you're talking about you being oh, I know I know Preston you don't press them Chucho no joke come out give me a little rear naked. No. Yeah, there it is

Choke him out give him a little rear naked. No. Yeah, there it is. There it is. Tap the lock. You better go and lay a killed Java. I did a job on Lulux. You got to get it tight. Make a very good game. Let's get back at the back of the hand back here. I do impature. You run the choke hold Sarah had the same look on her face. Hey don't do that. Give me a kiss. Goodbye. No, I'm not going. I love you. I think last it. Oh, now I can't see Max. One, it's three, three, oh, it's Bobby. It's my little Bobby. I'll give him back. All right, thank you.

See you later. Yeah, go play with this knife. I'm sure. I, uh, do I put that away? No, no, no. Max. No, no, no. Max, you have to play with this lighter instead.

Get out of here. Give me a better. Leave it in our option. As Bobby's head gets skinnier, his eyebrows now appropriately fit over his eyes. That's so true. Right? It's a white shirt. Yeah. He had little Hitler mustache on his forehead.

Yeah, now it makes sense. And now his head shrinking and his eyebrows are in the right position over his eyes. Look at him. All right, well, listen, guys, we're going to wrap this up. He's just not happening. He's not, it's just, this is the memory at the beginning of the show, Joe, when I was like, you guys look happy. It's you, too. You know, you can just do what you want when you want. what you want when you want. Yeah, it's great. It looks like that fucking Chris Farley sketch with Giuliani. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh your dad's head. Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.

Wouldn't it be great if Bobby chokes out. He's tapping right now and nobody's there to see it. What'd you do? I'll make a video. We got another pod to do. All right, yeah, we got to go listen, guys. Wrap this up. I want to say, Max, can you wrap it up? Yeah. Thank you This is a lot of fun

We great great to see your thanks for introducing us to gay French pictures Given us a solid clear view of what we think your bed home looks like Thank you max grind it. Yeah, I want to plug my podcast mindful metal jacket. It's on this network. It's going to get rich here. Okay. When is it on?

It's not. This is. This makes me a podcasting. It's not. It's not. It's a podcast. Oh, all right. You go.

It's a podcast. I like this thing. What when I want data to come out though? It comes out Thursday. Oh, all right. What day did they come out though? Comes out Thursday, Thursday at noon. And we got some great episodes. Well, I'll have you guys on at some point. Some of you may be in the two minute film festival. What is that?

That's May 21st, 9 p.m. Eastern time or 6 p.m. Pacific. And then I'll put the link on my Instagram at StalaMosh. Great. That's a great idea, thank you. And then Thursday on the show, on our show Matt Iceman from American Injouries, gonna be on Saturday, we got another jerk off party happening. Yeah, we got Joe Russell's coming on.

I think we do a costume party Saturday night. All right, I'm in. You guys, Joe and Sarah, you wanna Come in. Joe, it's sour. You want to come in? When? We have to come in. We're going to do a costume Zoom party. We let all the fans in.

Everybody's going to dress up. What do you think, Mike? Come in. I think it's great. I'd like to. I got this dumb show I got a host. Not dumb. A cool show called Coast to coast roast for helium comedy club

So you're gonna roast people wasn't that so now it's so 2000 the cities roast each other It's like 48 cities and we're gonna be done with fucking roasting We're just I'm just hosting it. What are you gonna do you gonna make fun of what city? I know there are all the cities Well, let's talk about it privately, but it's 48 cities, 24 teams or something like that. And we marked Norman and I just hosted, but then there's two representatives from each city. So the city's is Jeff Ross involved? Not yet. Yeah.

Any day. I'm sure he's coming. I'm sure he's coming. I'm sure he's coming. No, it's going to be fun. I'm excited about it. It's helium comedy clubs putting it on. You can go get your tickets on there. And it's this weekend, next weekend,

the weekend after. And Mark and I are hostend. There's a bunch of great comics. Do it. All right. I love you guys. I'll see you guys tomorrow. I'll see you guys tomorrow.

I'll see you tomorrow. And Mike and, yeah, we can, don't hang up, Mike. Someone's in trouble. No, you guys can hang up. We'll just come out. Thank God. All right. Bye guys.

Bye. Take care. That was Sarah and Joe. That was so fun. They're great. They're fun. Yeah, they're really cool. Sarah is so funny.

They're so funny. You look like Princess Leia with those stupid things on your ears. Yeah, very fun. That was a great show. I, you know, last night and tonight, fucking great shows, Mike. What's the comment that I'm here? I think it's, it's a, I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy.

I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy.

I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. You know Jared called me up last Sunday like dude that was fucking awesome. How many times is Jared dead my show? How many times is the other podcast a time fucking great unbelievable, right? We had a good time. He was he was funny. Yeah fucking show is great man. Another great show another great episode What do we have tomorrow tomorrow's Wednesday? Mars Wednesday. I believe rich Voss is trying to get on all right I believe Rich Voss is trying to get on. All right. Who else?

I do want to have Rich on, because I got an email today from, and maybe you can help me out with this. I got an email today from New Jersey Fire On background investigation. Okay. About Mr. Rich Voss. Oh, like, you're trying to buy a gun? He's trying to get a gun and they contacted me.

Oh my God, this is amazing. As a witness. As a witness. And I had to answer a bunch of questions and I would like to go over these questions that I answered. That's a great idea. With him because some of these, you know,

before I answer these, I got to go over because he I was I should say yes to a lot of these Not no, I know he wants we go no no no no, but a lot of these I might be lying and going to hell if I say yes to so What do you think I think we do it in front of them and I will tell you which one you should submit which one you should Awesome, so tomorrow night we'll get rich boss on mic made it make a note How you feel a mush All right, what's your background? Howdy-bees father Sato

Bobby How are you doing today, Michael? Me? Yes. I'm wonderful. You know why? Why? It took a nap today. The precious. Well, I don't really like to take them because they're right.

I should to do it, but I just been that grumpy fucked the last two days because I haven't gotten much sleep. So I took a nap. Now I took a shower before I did the show and now I feel fantastic. Hang on, you know, Rich's imagine Gabby's butthole for about 30 seconds made my whole night. You're welcome. And that's why I'm here. And that's why you are here. Rich Foss is Lily.

Hello. Rich going on. Yeah. We're live on the show right now. Oh, you are. Well, the one Going on. Yeah. We're live on the show right now. Oh, you are. Well, the one you put me through on June. Well, we were having a good show.

The show shows over. We want to have you on tomorrow night, because I got another message from the Jersey Firearms Department. And I'm having a hard time answering these questions and being truthful. Look, people, you gotta think. I mean, you don't have to think.

So, what's that? Who is the first one? Don't do this. We're going to speak a phone. Why, we're going to speak a phone. You're on the show. No, but I mean, I don't want to make a point. I know I'm doing this, especially.

Too late. Jesus Christ. All right, listen. Maronite at seven o'clock, are you available? Yeah. Hold on. Let me look at my calendar. I'm available tomorrow, no, November.

All right. Tomorrow night, everybody. I'll call you a little bit, Vos. Tomorrow night, Rich Vos will be on. We're going to go over some of these questionnaires and my camera looks fucking amazing. It looks amazing. Bobby, what if we have, what if while we put rich on mush calls Bonnie? Well, I don't know, Bonnie. Bonnie doesn't really play those fun games. Like if Sarah would go along with that and have a good Bonnie would might fucking flip out. Oh, right. You know what I mean? Yeah. Bonnie has a kid.

I know. I don't I don't think they would, uh, yeah. But what if we don't play a game? What if we go, hey, you should hear this rich rich is talking about doing something you should know about. Yeah, this is for you. This is for you. I think the fans would actually do that for us. All right. I mean, they're connected socially, right? Fans. So they like, we got for a bit, they would copy the video and then send it to her in through social media.

Yeah, I got a bit, no, got a bit during the show. They, they go to a Twitter or something and say, Rich is saying stuff about this and that. And then she comes down, you know, and says, what the fuck's going on? I mean, that would be crazy. Hey, Mike, I don't know if you were keeping the tally, but Sarah did pick me before Bobby a guilted her out of it. Mike, I don't know if you can, I don't even hesitate. She didn't even go, uh, she was like, Mike, but she, but then she went Bobby. Cause you fucking guilted her for 10 minutes.

Gabby, but what? went Bobby. Cause you fucking guilted it for 10 minutes. Gabby. Gabby. But what? Gabby. Yes. Can you please make a call? No. Yeah. Who what?

Not a. dummy. Oh. What? I asked Sarah if her life depended on it and the guy killed Joe and she was to make. She loved it. one of us. What did she say? She said you first and then she went to Bobby and then she said fine, I'll fuck both

of you. All right. You did. Who is she going to pick? I think he's saying it's guilt. I think she didn't want to pick me because I'm she wanted Joe's good friends. I don't think she wants a ruin in your friendship. Yes.

And you're not going to have a relationship. That's a man that's going to kill her. I think she picked Mike because he is neutral. He's not sexy. He's neutral. Maybe she likes the danger of a stranger. Can you be a stranger? A stranger.

Yeah, the sexier we turn into is that I cannot answer that question legally. These are both sexy. Yes. Good answer. All right. Listen, tomorrow night, going to be a great night. Wednesday is going to be awesome.

Thursday, Friday, Saturday. I think we're going to do this party, right? Yeah. You think so, right? I might invite people over on Saturday. You should have a party in your room. I'm going to invite people over to it, it'd be in the room in the back. Well, I was just going to say maybe I'll have camey come over here and then I realized I was married. Give, give, forget it to wife, you ever be watching

like a, like a sex thing and the chick gets up and like, I'd fucking eat that ass. You look over, you're like, Hey, what's up? She's like, I said it to my wife all the time. She always goes gross. Yeah, gross. If I'm driving in the car and I get a nude picture, I'll look at it on a wall and I'll show it to her and she'll look and she'll be like, that's not it. I gotta read the list of names, Mike, you sent it, right?

I can't hear you. It's in the email from the YKWD. I'm sorry. It's in the email for YK. I sent it from the YKWD email to your rubber-killy live email. Rubber-killy live email. You read them. I'll lip sync the names. Yes. Okay. Here we go. Michael, are you ready? Mushi, are you ready? Gabby, are you ready? Yes. Now I should start from the top, Mike. Yes, sir.

Patreon people, I want to thank you. Mike wants to thank you. Everybody wants to thank you for being a part of this thing that we're doing. It's been amazing so far, and we want to read your names. So here we go. Travis Simmons, Carrie Tonsky, Christine Whistwall, Kenny Hanahan, Matt Baldwin, Angela Kelly, Joe Cassico Kevin Perry. I question whether or not you could read. Gerald, this is the part where I'm at. I feel like I need to call someone. Peter Vatiatio, Sean Marsiglia, Edward Bullock,

Asheville is too woke. Manacus bus, man cubus, incubus, man cubus, Douglas Hame, Thomas Marshall, Flav. Sammy Mohoney, Luke Salazar, Cassie Branch, Jeff Rapper, Kristen, Ken Stewart, Thomas Cox, Dennis Price, Lou. Lou. Lou. Drew Winning, Esteban Ventura. Matthew Collins, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Sophie Nick Lennahard Steve Kish Tanya Yamannano Scott Schlaasman Brian Ratch could

not reach Osborne Victor Sanchez John K Campanana John Summers J B. Eddie. You're not okay. You're not okay. Shelley Tyre, Hune Randall, Jonathan A. Brooke, Curtis Blackmon, Ryan Ledford, Matt Walden, D. Johnny, Famaniani. I actually heard my producer's name in there and you fucked that up too. Robert Haggard, Everett James, Daryl A.irkie, Ryan D. Watkins, Eric Hall, Christopher Gamor, Cory Walker, Mako's Galvin, Kara Jones,, cop Jackson Shapiro, Donald Land PG, Paul EG, Paul Casaletto,

to the trucker, just to tell Aaron Diego Flores, Pete Luzian, your girl, Justin firms, Daniel Greco, am I reading until I use get tall? I tall, You skip tall. I tall. Sorry tall. Brandon Hanna's Duncan Murphy. Ryan D Travis Leaper Jonathan Pleger. Carolyn Weirich. Steven J. Weir. Tommy Anderson. Ryan. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Brian Chris, Mike Merchant, my brother, Jenny Anthony R. Matt Marty, Leant Thomas, Bart Comets,

Colleen Dixon, Martha Beth Barry, Judas. I already read that one, didn't I? No. Okay, Rebecca Garret Vida, Skyler Evans, Brandy Quinn, Frank LaTototitas. Mary Mojaya Nga Han. Matt Taylor, Jeff Faye, Steven Jack, Steven Jack, Brian Hanon, Sean Aakum,

Briang T. Ambrayan, Jason, Sean Wilson, Albert Davidson, Justin Miller, Zach D'Amelo, Ian Greer, and Crumbum. Crumbum! Welcome to the channel. Welcome to be a part of a checkout, culture and Kelly. There was some people having problems

with the life and the shed. I don't know if we fixed those. Can you look into some of those things, Mike? I will. Okay. And why is your mic gold, Gabby? I cause I bought a gold one. There were two options and I said gold.

You know, you got the mini, right? I got the blue one. You like it? It's blue. Let me hear you again. Hello. Hi. Hi. Did she? Welcome to NPR.

She sound better. Hello. Hello. Mike, did. Welcome to NPR. She sound better. Hello. Like, does she sound better than me? Welcome to NPR. NPR. Well, today we're talking about the pandemic. That's really good. That's good, right?

Yeah, do it again, do it again, do it again. Hi, welcome to NPR. Today, we are talking about the pandemic. Corona virus. Is it ruining your life? You could be the new Siri. Hey, that's good. Hi, I'm me voiceover. What? You do an ad for a culture and Kelly right now. Yeah. Make it hot. Okay. Well, hotter NPR is too different than NPR NPR. Okay. Okay. Well, hot or NPR, it's too different than NPR. NPR, NPR. Okay. I mean, I thought NPR was kind of home. Me too.

Okay. Welcome to Calta and Kelly, a show about everything. Do you want to see two really fat guys in two different parts of the country who have guns and knives, talk about things that you don't really care about? Welcome to Calta and Kelly, only $5 care about. Welcome to call to N Kelly. Only $5 a month on patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. For all. I had to tell you that was perfect. That was pretty good. Mike isolate that tag. Mike, what are you fucking playing? Tetris, what are you doing? Oh, no, Liz was asking me.

Fuck Liz. You're producing this show. Fuck it. You're gonna be able to do it. You're gonna be able to do it. You're gonna be able to do it. You're gonna be able to do it. You're gonna be able to do it. You're gonna be able to do it. You're gonna be able to do it. You're gonna be able to do it.

You're gonna be able to do it. You're gonna be able to do it. You're gonna be able to do it. You're gonna be able to do it. You're gonna be able to do it. You're gonna be able to do it. You're gonna be able to do it. You're gonna be able to do it.

You're gonna be able to do it. You're gonna be able to do it. You're gonna be able to do it. You're gonna be able to do it. You're gonna be able to do it. You're gonna be able to do it. You're gonna be able to do it. You're gonna be able to do it It's because your show goes past their show. No fuck their show. If you hit yes on their show and then leave and come back to our show. I know I have to get started.

That's the start this show and then leave it and then come back. Can I plug something? Yeah, you can plug whatever you want. Hopefully it's your bra As you have small tits Mike what is that face? I've never noticed oh My god, you are such a fucking call doesn't my side always I don't know if you know I know I always on my side. I know I noticed that I love it. I love it Okay, so every Thursday,

we are best friends. Every Thursday, I go in- Wait, stop, stop. You're not best friends. He's got one best friend. But he shouldn't be my best girlfriend. Yeah, that's two different things. What about you?

You're a best girlfriend. I'm different. Mike, let me tell you something right now. Mike, if she comes between us. Oh, I've always wanted to come between someone. She brings a lot to the table. What? She's flat chested.

She's going to flat ass. I have small boobs, but they're really nice. You always know that. I'm not a boob guy. I'm a face guy. I have a perfect face and a really nice butt and all the really nice boobs. And I have a safe backpack. I I've, okay, that's true. And those are so, so beloved around the world, okay? That's true.

That's true. That's true. They are. I'm a great, but I'm a great but I'm a perfect personality. What do you mean? Great boobs. I have perfect small boobs. Like I bet you she looks great in nothing but little boy shorts. Hey, that's exactly what it is. That's how I always picture you. Yeah, I have the perfect fit body. I don't want to talk about you But this is like talking about my daughter. You bring it up every time. I bring it up not every Thursday at eight P.M. I go live from the stands Instagram. That's at the stand NYC for my quarantine show 8 p.m. Every Thursday night on Instagram at the stand NYC Bobby pops in sometimes and roasts me which I love and that's

this Thursday so be there or be a fucking square. And I do want to be in our our Yes, I'll come on whenever you want. Will you just wear the boy shorts? Oh, no, you wear a tank top too. It's costume night. I have a big Jew for a wig. I'll wear that. Is that work? Is it a wig? A lot of costumes.

Now, the one over a couple of moves. I've, I have a lot of costumes. We're going to hook up with Cammy. She'll tell you what to wear. All right. Listen, um, I know a podcast called Unabashed podcast. Yes. Patreon Patreon.com slash on a bash. Oh, well, is that you and the other guy? Yeah. What do you mean the other guy? The guy and all the way he looks at cigarettes.

Oh, yes, that's my gay best friend, Zach's in your. He's two gay. He's gay. No, he's the perfect amount of gay. I'm kidding. All right, listen, we're going to wrap this up. I got to go fucking my kids in the backyard running around. You gotta put comments on what you say.

You just say I'll fuck you in the backyard. All right, listen, Gabby, Mike, what do you have, Mike? Mush. At Mike V. Suarez on Instagram. And I got this. I got you, babe. Yeah, keep going. I don't know how does it go, Mike?

I got you babe. I Turned on my mic. I looked at your eyes and it was no surprise. I got you babe. You are short and you got nice lips Gabby's pretty. She's got no tits. I got you kids. I got you. This is what we knew. There's way need to do on Saturday, play song roulette. One person starts and then we go around through the boxes and you got to get it right. That's good. Let's do that Saturday night. We're going to switch it up to Saturday night too. We're going to let everybody

in at the end, and jerk off, bring people in at the beginning, we're going to bring people in at the beginning. We're going to bring certain people in. Correct, mush. Correct. Because last week is a little crazy. So we're going to do a bunch of different stuff. Why are all the knives coming out? I think mush is a clipple file syndrome.

How's it? Clipple file. What's that mean? Big Ed from 90-day fiancee, where his head's sinking into his shoulders. You guys have to watch Forged in Fire so we can talk about it. Is that a knife show? Yeah.

You would love it. It's a competition show and they compete to make their all blacksmiths to make the best knives or weapons. What is what channels is on? National geographic. All right, I'll look it up tonight. Gabby, what about the other show I got to watch? What one?

He's not going to like Forged in Fire. No, I like it. It? What one? He's not gonna like Forge the Fire. No, I like it. You like it. It's so good. He's not gonna like it. I'm gonna like it. He's not gonna like it. He's not gonna like it.

I'm gonna like it and I'll text you while I'm watching it. It's not gonna like it. I guarantee it. But anyways, I gotta watch 98 before 98. 90 days. Before the 90 days. Before the 90 days. I gotta watch that tonight.

Yeah, but you haven't watched that either. What is that? 90 day fiancee before the 90 days. I don't care. You say that now. I said the same thing. I said best show until best show until

Oh Jesus. You're gonna, I have never seen the Kardashians. I don't like, I hate Dr. Phil. I don't know one of the, 90 day fiancee before the 90 days, best show on television. Okay, watch Forge and Fire and then we'll talk. All right, tomorrow night, 7 o'clock, mush, Mike, Gab, you know what, dude? See you next time. You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs.

Shitty jobs. you