Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Tommy Salami

Episode Date: August 12, 2019

We’ve got Greg Stone and Paul Virzi this week talking comedy comebacks, when’s a joke written for you, and we’re let in on Bobby’s new dog rivalry! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network Riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the Planet Earth. This is going to be a clash to fire. It's podcast, it's no rule. It's not going to be a podcast. It's no rule. It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast.

It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast. Should I regret that I get a microphone? Oh, that's a fuck! That was trying to keep it like a comic-cancant. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and yapping sometimes. It's hilarious, sometimes it's 10-no-topics, no directions.

I love doing it. Play both sides of the coin! That's how it all holds her. That's how you motherfuckers want her to do it. My podcast is popular enough where I might affect somebody's life. You never know. Here's what we're doing. You know what to,

our guest on VHS.com. That's better work. You just turned something down. Huh? Did you turn the steam song down? You had to be lower because the copyright. Yep. Oh, sorry.

I don't like when they win. No, I mean, when you go to the fucking give someone shit and they're like, no, lower because the copyright. Yep. Oh, sorry. I don't like when they win. I mean, when you go to a fucking give someone shit and they're like, no, we did the research. It's actually copyrighted for it was saved you $500. Thank you. Thank you very much, Zach and Mike. You're doing your fucking job. Hi, Chris. Anyways, I'm fucking very excited. Paul Verzi, snapper. No, snapper. I mean, come on, that's how you start this. I was so happy to see you. I'm so happy to see you too, but then you snapped. I didn't know. I was sitting there and I was feeling, I was listening and I just went,

listening to what? Listen to what? But there was no music. It was in your head music. You don't snap the in your head music. You look fucking insane. You're right, you're right. You're right. If I was just like this, you'd be like, what are you doing? You know how to get Bobby to stop? I agree with him. You can't.

It's a script tonight. You're right. What are you talking to my wife? Talk to my wife. You're not fucking talking to Don. Look at me. Look at me. What?

Were you talking to my wife? Never. Look at me. Who are you talking to? Oh, no. I'm. Who you talking to now? I get fucking bruises. You question is fucking Italian. Yeah. No question is code of ethics. I mean, we just had a we had a talk today on the phone about our ethics and you're going

to do that to me in minute two in fucking minute two. You're going to do that to me a minute. I mean, we had me and you had a good one today. Dude, you're right. You're right. We had a good one. I think I would never. You're right. You're right. You tell me use if you fucking said to me and you had a good one today. Dude, you're right, you're right. We had a good, I think I would never. You're right, you're right. You tell me, if you fucking said to me, and you know this is true, I would help you get rid of the body without asking a question.

And then you, let me ask you a question. Yeah, you come home one night, yeah, your wife's on the phone with me about if it was a surprise party for me. Yeah. I mean, if it's something good, you know, you've been at a surprise party, so if it was that, yes. Now, if it's something good, you know, you've been at a surprise party. So if it was that, yes.

Now if it was a Thursday in February where there's no holidays coming up, you've been on the road for a week, we're just in the middle of nowhere. I come home from Tampa. And you get giggling before you open the door. I know. You know, if I hear a whole Bobby, that would be, yeah, then I would call you up and go, what the fuck is going on? Well, that's a, that's the one way out of it though.

If you ever get caught by you one of your great friends right with his wife and then just throw a party All you have to do right from the areas all you have to do is throw a fucking massive She'd be like he knows yeah, he doesn't know about the party We're gonna throw the biggest bash ever and then I'm gonna fucking the bathroom Let me ask you this. What do you think do you think that that goes think about that? We're gonna throw the biggest bash ever. And then I'm gonna fucking the bathroom. Let me ask you this. What do you think, do you think that that goes,

think about that? Do you think that there's a guy who's been with a buddy for years? Yeah. And what do you think the percentages of like friends fucking the other friends wife? Do you, look, what do you think that that, Paul? First of all, I want to introduce you.

I? I don't stone. Let's just, cause I think, I gotta jump. We just, we come out of the gun. Yeah. No, I was watching the show. It happens with me first. Come out.

Yeah. Someone you give. Love Greg Stone. By the way, love. You're one of my favorite. Oh, you guys are so great. One of my favorite. A little annoyed about something.

I'm not gonna. Really? I was just talking to Steve. So excited. By the way, I was just with Steve Mozilla. I was just with Steve Mozilla. I love his. Classic. I love this guy. Classic Verly, too. Love this guy.

I got a little baby. I got a little baby. A little baby. A little baby. I was just, you know, I love Greg. I was just with Steve Mozilla and Steve Mozilla said, do me a favor and tell Bobby and Greg that they have my love. I love them.

And I said, great. And I go, you know, I go, I go, Greg's Greg's. I love Greg. I go, I love Greg too. I go, you know, he's Italian. And he goes, yeah, his last name is Carbosup, some Carbinara. And Carbono. And I go, and I just go, yeah, you know, and he went with Stone. So I'm a little, you know, you could have kept the, can I tell you this? Coraluzzo. Coraluzzo.

Oh, we thank you so much for you ripping them. Now, I got a sip. Thank you so much. I appreciate. It's a rough week to David. Yeah, yeah, You know what? Let's start the show. We should have started to David. David Kimowitz gone far too soon. Amazing friend, amazing person in this business. And you know, we're all dealing with it. So to David to David and his family. God bless. Now we'll get back to what? Let's get back to the funny. Yeah. No. What? So what is it? Let's get back to the funny. Yeah, no, what is it? What's the real last name? Coraluzzo.

And we didn't keep that because. Oh, all right. So two reasons, right? One story was. You're like one because it's caraluzzo. Yeah. And on a comedian. Coraluzzo, I was going to be brought up by that.

It sounds like Paul Luzer. Paul Luzer, all those. But those were all I didn't really care too much. But then there was this incident that happened with Seinfeld. I think I told it on this podcast last time. I don't want to go over that where I was like a thing. I was like, Oh my God, this guy's got a band-aid from comedy. So I didn't. But also, I was also working in the ER at the time. I didn't want them. He's in the witness protection program

in comedy. He put himself in the way I was totally kidding. No, I know, but it's like it. It's I wonder because Seinfeld was mad at the other guy, right? There's mad at me. He's mad at me because I heckled him by accident. The red stone. He had them. But so he has his other name as a little backup. Stone. No, I burned Coraluzzo. Coraluzzo's burned. That's the one you burned. He burned. He saw Coraluzzo's burn because of Seinfeld, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So he went with Stone. So now Seinfeld doesn't know who Greg Stone is. Yeah. Who let it you. Oh Jesus Christ. I'm just what the hell is going on there?

I've even watched a news. Also, I'll tell you this. I would have stayed with Carluso. I would have been so much more in the podcast. There's no topics. You got to. You never know. Wait till I lay into these.

I'm just kidding. Okay, what is that? I was just saying that, well, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. There's no topics. You got it. You never know. Wait till I lay into these. I'm just kidding. Okay, what is that? I was just saying that like if I would have stuck with Corluzo, the Italian just kept,

I kept building and growing. Can I be like you now? I'd be like, Hey, fucking Bobby, get the fuck out of here. Like I don't want to be like that. It's too much. The fuck away with that. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. How are you becoming Italian?

Hey, I'm fucking have a million you cock. He's just says, wait, what do you mean wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I fucking people they're gonna want you to stay. Yeah, want you to get loyal to your people. I love my stop throwing us down the fucking gutter Because of one Jewish guy, right? Finding out you're telling like a little more now. Are you really? Definitely does definitely does no it's a something that does happen. Yeah, yeah, when you find someone Why are you a guy you meet a guy? He's sitting there. You're having a good time He's kind of quiet. He's drinking you don't feel them out and then you go. Hey man. Where you from is a guy he's sitting there. You having a good time. He's kind of quiet. He's drinking. You don't feel them out. And then you go, Hey man, where you from? Is it gone? My dad's just saying, I'm like, I love this. Yeah. I'll be honest. Full Greek. Versi. I don't know if I'd be friends with. No, you would. No. Why? I don't know. Fucking half Italian. Versi. First of all, I go to your house

to be all Greek food. They wouldn't have that sausage and pepper. You wouldn't have your meatballs. You wouldn't have half the Italian stuff. Yeah, there would be spinach pie coming out. Spinach pie, fucking, um, pazizia, whatever the fucking. He's drinking a glass of red wine. As we speak, am I really not a day? Hey, you're gonna fucking cigar like last one. I got to slice a pepperoni. Like, we didn't even have a rat of his nose. I, um, yeah, dude, if you were full Greek, I, the Italian, you're absolutely right. It does something. It does something.

It makes you go, you know, there's something, I know he has a code. But Jews love Jews. Greeks love Greeks, Puerto Ricans love Puerto, it's, it is a thing. It is a thing. But look at it, Italian Puerto, you add Italian to anything and you got an amazing mixture of fusion. All right, Italian, let's go over these fusions. I got a good one for you.

Are you dope? Yeah, my mother's 100% Greek and it was a very hard thing for my Greek, my Yaya. Yeah, that's my mama. Yeah, but Yaya rests on the Greek. She's a Irish. Okay. No, she's Irish, but she chose Yaya. Okay. Yaya in Greek Irish, but she chose her.

Yeah, in Greek means grandmother, and she was very upset that my mother went with an Italian, a rest her soul, and my two Italian, my verzy grandparents showed up to meet my mother's parents, and my Greek grandmother went into a bedroom. And my mother went and she just broke down crying. Yeah. Yeah, she was just, she just broke down crying. She was just like, yeah, she's like, the Greek is gone. This is a full, we are in being invaded by a full on Sicilian family right now.

That's going to change the blood. I tell you, I mean, here's my favorite fusion, ready? Yeah. Sicilian Japanese. I, I know one. I banged a girl. Sicilian Japanese. What?

No, I'm just, I mean, I'm sorry, can't say I banged. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I can't say I banged. No, no, no, I'm sorry politically correct. No, no I did hashtag me to no, I thought you were going another way. I just you know, well, what do you think I did? What are you doing? I fucking made macaroni vases with a Italian for a Japanese to say in you. I'm I'm banging. I'm banging who's the silly in in your family. My father your father's a hundred percent Sicilian. I think no he's he's 75% to say in a quarter Irish I believe. Okay. You're more Irish than anything. I'm half and half. Well that I mean you said shut up. I don't fucking question my question. My father is 90%. I'm 50 50. My father's 100% Japanese on Turkish.

I'm probably more Irish than I am Italian, but I don't claim. Your mother's 100% Irish? Irish. Boom. All Irish. Yeah, they got, you know, she could have got citizenship, citizenship. Also, you must turn into a monster when you drink. Wow. When I yeah, but I think that was my Sicilian fucking temper, though, that fucking anger love anger. Could you imagine Bobby a cold 12 pack in and somebody like pushing him? I mean, it would be I got my ASP to lot though.

What would you do if you were a 12 pack in drunk camping and we were all there by a fire and somebody walked over and slapped you in the face, what the fuck are you going to do? I mean, would you, I would, I would, I would take it. I would take it. I would take it and then we'll go look for a tree trunk. I would, I would, I would be like, are you ready? I fucked up, man. I'd, I'd buy, buy a coward. And, I'd buy a cow or, and then I'd

slowly go into the woods and come out with a fucking, a flinch-don't-stick. And, and I would, you'd go, do you for a second? No, I'd be like, do it. Listen, I'm so, crack, and I'd be over your face going, you cock-sucker. How do you like me now? Oh, yeah. And then I'd piss on your coat. Yeah. And then your new dog would piss on it. It would be great. I actually, I actually, anytime I go to a fight though, I'll be honest with you. Anytime I ever fought anybody and I won, I felt sad. I felt like crying inside. Why?

Because when I got beat up as a young kid, I would always feel so sad because I felt like no, I was going to die. Yeah. And nobody's going to protect me. And I remember going home to my mom, why would anybody do this to you? And just my mom would cry. And I know that when I hit somebody, their mom would be like, why would somebody hurt my baby?

And it was me. Every time I ever hit anybody, and one, I felt sad as ever, like crying sad. I never felt good about hitting anybody. Even the ones that deserved it. All right, one, there was one, this girl. I, no, I'm kidding. Yeah.

Seeing somebody hurt that you did after even when they deserve it, there is something where you're like, unless it's like, if somebody touches your kids, it's when they deserve it, there is something where unless it's like, if somebody touches your kids, it's like, you know, it's a different thing. But like doing that regular stuff, it's, yeah. Yeah, that's my biggest fear is my, someone hurt my kid, even up in Montreal, my kids, anytime I bring my kid into this world, that's not the comedy seller, like the comedy community, like just Phil Afs. Yeah. I get fucking, I go through a 900 scenarios. I see who's there. I know how they are,

you know, just regular. And then I'm sitting there with my cat. I can visualize it in my head. I'm with my kid. They say something stupid. They treat, they do something to my kid, thinking it's joking. And then I just grab the finger and I by fucking break it. And they go, what the fuck? And I go, don't have a fire. You know, this guy like all jokes aside, I'm sorry. No, no, go ahead. This guy all jokes aside. And it's known. Me and Burr were talking about the other day and somebody else was saying it. You are, and I'm not trying to, you're a great father. Like you're a father on a level like this guy will like be like max like I'm like, Hey guys, you want to go to the movies? Bobby will be like, you want to go get some plywood and nails and build you a fucking pirate ship in the backyard for two months and we'll get

some paint and I'm like, I can't like this guy is unbelievably bring up bring up my story from yesterday with the the thing I go me and max. I mean, you could have fun. I mean, I paid you a compliment. You say, thank you. I'm saying, there's the fucking tag. It's all here. Is that the Greek? Fuck.

Oh my God. I just tweeted, sorry. I essayed me and Max built. We built this dog run in my backyard. I'm like, I told my max, I told my building it. We just get to build this area, make it this. Three helps me all day. I build this. I get all this extra fence. I always keep extra wood around just to build shit. And I go, what happened? Is that mine?

No, I don't have your password. I see you're logging in to us. Yeah. So anyways, all day, I mean, I'm sweating all day long building this fucking, I take this fence, I hook it, I put the day, we make this beautiful dog with patio blocks. I'm about to get a yard of fucking pee, pee gravel to put down. It looked amazing. Get the dog home today. Watch this thing. I want to show you this.

Ready? Go Watch this thing. I want to show you this. Ready? Go to my thing. I was so proud of myself for building this thing in a day out of my skull. Just fucking DIY. You know, all these DIY do it yourself. Fucking things. These guys are bullshit, by the way.

I watch these fuckers. You need a special drill. A lathe. You need to fuck yourself. I DIY. I mean, you all said that. I mean, yeah, you DIY with that guy Joe I do. I I. Well, I mean, you all said let's say, yeah, you do I I with that guy Joe too. Let's not I know show the big shoulders Joe. Joe big shoulders. Yeah, I have a giant Italian friend who puts down pavement and he goes, look what I did.

Listen, first of all, Joe is a very smart guy. He doesn't have, but he's a good guy. That's not it. Spot. That's not it. Do we have it? pick up. That's not it spot. That's not it. So do we have it? Keep going. That's not why you want to do the floor. I'm lying on the floor because I can't be on my knees. It's easier for me to just lie flat. Yeah, then play with the dog. Then they'll be on my knees and play with the dog. Yeah. I got bad knees. Shut up. First, he what? I say a word fucking come and say a word. Look at the fence. Go back. go back. See the fence in the background? Max has no idea. Right, yeah, see that fence?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I built this whole thing. Nice, no, no shoulders, no shoulders, no shoulders, no shoulders, no shoulders, he was not at it. Oh, nice. He was not involved. Okay, I did it myself, see it in the back. I mean, it's a beautiful little dog run.

Mm-hmm. And I bring the dog home. Doesn't work. I bring him inside the thing. Yeah. He looks around, he starts sniffing. He's about to go to the bathroom. He goes over to the fence. Goes right through it. He's just of course right through the fucking thing. I hear it. But then you know, he did. Then he went underneath. Then he went back through again. I guess my dog I built

a door. Yeah. It's on hinges. Spacing on that fence, though. I mean, I could probably fit through there. Let's not get carried away. I can't fit through your head. Don't fucking walk. Alan couldn't fit through that fucking thing. Look, there he is. Listen, listen to this. You brought him a puppy? Yeah, it's your puppy. My buddy, buddy.

That's Doodles. Doodles? Listen, that's your new puppy. Hi, Doodles. Doodles? Listen. He has, he's like, he was in shock. Yeah. In shock. For real. He was like, he was in shock. Yeah, in shock.

In real? That's real. He had no idea. How crazy is that? He's sick. She's coming up to you. She's got you. What a moment.

Look at that. Isn't that a great moment? What a moment. He was, he was speechless. He didn't know what to say. He thought it was like a joke. Show her surprises. Oh, that's nice. That great He thought it was like a joke. He told her surprises. Oh, that's nice.

That's great. All right, cut it out. All right, so you saying about me being a great dad? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's his name? Doodles? Max. No, no, the dog is Doodles.

Doodles. Well, he wanted to name him, dude, but I was like, you know, what if he get a girl? Because we knew we were getting the girl. And he was like, I think my wife was like, doodles, and he was like, doodles. So I kind of like that. Doodles is nice. I like doodles. Yeah, because now it's doodles.

Now that I know it's that, if it was straight doodles, like D.O.O. I can't. No, no, if it was straight doodles, D.O.O.D.L. Well, no, I'm glad that there's a fucking backstory for you, because I would have never known how you really felt about my doodles if I didn't have the backstory. I'm going to tell you, you want to go home to your fucking night tonight? Not only do I like that dog. Yeah, I might want the one 10 one. So really? Yeah. They got the standard. Yeah. Yeah. That's a gorgeous dog. The ones that go to the standard size burner doodle.

Yeah. Oh, dude, the best looking dog ever. You know what? We almost got a Bernie's mountain dog. We almost did. And my wife, that's why Joe, when I said Barbara, that looks like a little mini, a little mini Bernie's, right? Yeah.

My dog. Yeah. Look at that, dude. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, go to go to go to the watch. Oh, that's all the. He go to the fourth one, fourth one. That's let me see right there. Click on that. It's like the dog from fraggle rock. Yeah, yeah. Is that how big it goes? Zoom in. That is a bit. Isn't there a button for that? That's a hundred and ten pound. Why, you

could see the pool. Like it's under the other one. This is annoying me. Go to the other one. Go to a bigger one. Go faster. Faster. Yeah. No, go right a bigger one, go faster, faster. No, right there. Yeah, any one of those, yeah, that's what the dog looks like. Look at that fucking beautiful. I mean, it's the same picture. Let me ask you this, right? What are you doing? That's the size of the picture that they upload.

Can't you go to full size photo view? Can we go smaller? A full size search? Can you do this for a full size photo? No, there you go. There you go. Oh, wow. How beautiful is that? Wow. That's a full size see. There you go. There you go. Oh, wow.

How beautiful is that? Wow. That's a full size. And the poodle makes it not shed as much. They're hyper-wellogenic. Yeah, the total. And the poodle makes it live longer. A Bernie's mound dog's a big dog.

They live eight years. Ten years. Eight years. Now it's going to live 12, 14. Yeah. But we get a mini, so it's going to be half that size. Which is fine. Yeah.

Well, it's fine. I guess not for you. No, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine because fine, you're saying fine like my wife says fine. When I say you want Chinese, that's fine. What do you want? I like a bigger dog. I like a bigger dog for the protection. I should have got the big one.

But no, we get to get to get him a brother. I'm not getting too dog. You get fucking too dog. I'm gonna. Why are you? We're looking. What are you gonna get? I don't know if you get if you get if you get a better dog than me First you imagine listening to get imagine it's me and you kept getting dogs to outdo the other one And we show up we got seven dogs in each house

I'll tell you what if you get a fucking better burn if you get a better brittle do them me. Oh my god my friend Tom Tom Celetti. Yeah, he's got one. Wow. he, you know, Tom, he calls, he calls me up, you know, Tom too. All right, love Tom. All right, real loud. I love Tom. You're in the mix. I know Tom better. No, no, just going to his last name. So, Salami, that means, that looks like. Big fan. All right, guys, no, I'm just going to say who's the black guy? We have, I'm going to get a burner doodle. Who's the black guy guy? We, I'm going to get a burner doodle who's the black guy on the couch. I'm going to get a brother.

Anybody who's in, no, what's your name, dude? He's on a new website. Oh, he's doing the website. All right, what's up? Can somebody just maybe introduce him? I mean, I just saw a black guy walk in and the room has sit down and nobody tells me who's coming. Come on on the mic, dude.

Did you hear? Yeah, my name is McCahn. McCahn. Nice to meet you all. Nice to meet you too, man. Like the nut. McCahn's nut. No, just McCahn or McCahn. McCahn. McCahn. Get on the mic. I can't hear you. Yeah. So it's McCahn M.A.K. Hi, buddy. How are you? Pretty good. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Awesome, man. Where you from? Oh, what do you mean? Like my parents are like, not originally. Originally, just an American. Yeah, brought me to origins.

Yeah, Bronx New York New York born and raised. Yeah, nice. How cool, man. Awesome. All right. How old are you? 26. Cheesier, young kid, huh? Yeah. All right. Cool. So, do you do comedy?

Did open mics. Didn't have the so the it's just now. No, yeah. Okay. All right. Do you have, do you going to do it again. I mean Jesus voting on a social security number Two, I got nervous. I got nervous. I don't know. We just met Yeah, I don't know how I haven't even talked to anybody in years of America

You mother don't believe I don't know how to talk to people anymore new people All right, buddy. Thanks so much. He's very, he's got a lot of confidence. I like the kid nice kids. Nice kid. He's got, I didn't know he's going to have that much confidence. Of course he's six, two and ripped. I'm going to shit out everybody in there. I've been confident too. He's not ripped. I mean, More ripped than us.

Yeah, he's more ripped than us. He's more ripped than anyone else in this room. Really, nah. I mean, I'm close. I mean, you do now. We're really for a ball. We're not sure about football. I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

I'm going to say that too. I'll say that to Stone. You know, it's in the ball. I'm getting one. If you, let's get one and make, I'm bringing them a make money. Listen, what was it? Career change? No, and make, I'm bringing them and make money. Listen, let's do it. What is it? career change?

No, I heard you make 10 grand a year. We do that and it's a little stuff. Do you make fucking food? So what do I make now? Do you? The eight, seven to nine pops in a litter, it's 3500 a pop. That's 3500 a pop. 3500 a pop.

3500 everything. And if they're special, if they have, oh, sorry, let's talk about Tom Celetti, not Salami. I know, yeah. No, you did it. Good friend, he's a friend. He's got to see, you have, Sean, let's talk about Tom Celetti, not Salami. Yeah. No, you're different. He's got to see you have the big one of the little ones, Celetti. Not him, you're fuck. Tommy's the long.

Does Tom Celetti have the little one or a big one? Tom goes like this, we're getting a dog. I go, oh my god, we're getting a dog too. This is like a couple of months ago. He goes, we're getting a Bernadude. We'll pick it up today. I go, dude, we're getting a fucking Bernadude. We're thinking about it right now.

Same breeder. No, he found one of Massachusetts, which would have been easier for us. I mean, you're easier. I mean, you said smarter. Why don't you go closer? But why don't you, but you think it's dumber. No, but you were performing there, right? You were performing in Texas when you found the dog, right?

It's not Texas. It's in fucking Fort Wayne, Indiana. You were performing in Fort Wayne, found the dog, right? It's not Texas, it's in fucking Fort Wayne, Indiana. You were performing in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Yes, I was, but that makes sense. That's not why. Oh, then it's dumb. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Listen, yeah.

No, it's just that we Googled all these breeders, and this one came up as one of the good ones. Okay. And it really is a good gentle giant, gentle giant burner doodles. They are phenomenal. I mean, phenomenal. Now are they big on guarding? Are they guard? Well, the, the Bernie's, yeah, Bernie's the Bernie's mountain doll is, but the, the, the reason why the burner doodles so great and the Bernie's mountain dog is great, they're just lovable, cool.

great and the Bernie's Mountain Dog's great, they're just lovable, cool. Their energy around children is fucking awesome. They're not too crazy energy, but they have energy. It's just a perfect, yeah, these guys are great. They were fucking so good with us. But so anyways, Tom did mass burn of doodles, right? Massachusetts burned of doodles. And I looked at, he came over with his dog and I was like, he got a standard, he got a big one. And I'm like, wow, that's a fucking pretty dog. I mean, it's really pretty. So then we are getting our dog and we're getting to many one.

And it's beautiful dog, I love our dog, great, but it's not the same as the big ones. The bigger ones have a bigger nose, there's a little bit of a different, let's just stand it. It's a regular size, yeah. And so I'm pretty sure that Tom Sawer, our dog, and I think he said, the surpoca, my dog's cuter because surpoca kind of slipped it out today. Like Tom's dog's cuter, huh? Something like that. I was like, oh, so he's fucking

talking shit about my dog. So now we get a little cute off going. So that might be my dog right there. Like, but that, that might be what my dog looks like. So that's a mini. Okay. So we had some mini. This is bigger though. No, go scroll down. That's a standard. Oh, that's a big. Yeah. Standards are a little cuter. What? I'm just joking. Scroll up. You want to get a burn of doodle? You want to get a standard? Let's have them. Let's do it. I'm not fucking doing it. What if my standards fucks your mini?

Then what is it? When do we get a guy in there? You have to get a guy and I have to leave my... Oh, see, I can't get a guy because of Lloyd. Yeah, but I can't get it. I can't keep the girl. Lloyd needs a female or that's it. My girl will be bleeding every month. I'm not dealing with that. I got a wife that does that. I'm not dealing with two fucking females bleeding around the fucking screaming every time I walk into the bathroom. Someone died. Greg, you got it?

I got a scam, which means I might have a dog soon. I want a dog a long time and I just go to the pet scene. Why do you change? I want a long dog a long time. I want have a dog soon. I want a dog a long time and I just go to the pet. Why do you change? I want a long dog long time. I want dog long time. I want dog long time. Why? I want dog long time. Why I need that love. Oh, here's the scam. My landlord's like, you can't have a dog. My friend comes up to me. He was like, yeah, man, it's illegal for them to tell you know if you have PTSD. So now I got to come up with some PTSD shit that how I was in some kind of so you've got to stand in the front yard and just start screaming a day. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. You like your landlord? Yeah. Doggies the best. Yeah. Well, he's not going to be when you scam him. You fucking Italian asshole.

There's always a way. My people is always away to get the things you want. You're going to scam your fucking. He's going to you only have to do like when lightning and thunder comes. You're going to have to do something. Yeah, I got my thunder blanket, you know, I throw it on screen. I'm up, you know, and we're all just, you know, maybe I play a recording of it. Oh, no, no, but it could be an emotional support, an emotional support dog.

Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Emotional support. So it doesn't have to be PSD though. It could also be go I go big, you know, if you're scam, you're going to, yeah, I'm telling you a real, let's, let's, let's, PST post, uh, post traumatic stress post disorder. PST, PTSD. I'm sorry. PTSD post traumatic stress disorder. I'm just, I'm sorry, you know, I'm just saying I'm trying to have a good time here.

I'm talking shit about my dog. I didn't say I said the big one, but I was joking. I have a question. You guys, do you guys like each other? I'm just talking one. But I was joking. I have a question about you guys. You guys like each other. I'm not just talking about top. Top. I mean, tops, tops, tops. Loved this guy. I mean, I mean, Bobby.

Yeah, top. Bobby and I fight. Here's what me and Bobby fight. Me and Bobby are on the same page with like guy code ethics. What's right? We read the person the same way. Here's what me and Bobby fight about. You know, we'll go camping.

I guess it always ends up camping. Yeah, it's one of those things where like Bobby's a little gung ho about things that I, why do everything went out? What happened? What are you doing? What are you doing? It's unplugged. It's unplugged?

Okay. I mean, I was writing it. I'm doing it. Don't get me going. No, no, no, it's okay. My therapist is in the back until September 1 writing a, I do it. Don't, don't get me going. No, no, no, it's okay. My therapist isn't back until September 1st. Don't do it. Okay. I didn't do anything. You were about to get me going. I didn't do anything. I just, I just, I just clicked, I went off. I heard it. Okay. And then, yeah, 10 years of it, I'm doing the podcast.

And I still have sound pro. Basically, the things we fight about are hilarious and ridiculous instead of anything. It's never, it's never real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It would be like, you brought two waters with the fuck, because I'm going to drink what it's that. And when you've been with that shit, you never have to bend. Wait, his mic is out now too. Why? I'm not going to. It's on. Great. It's not how. It's not working. It's stumbling. I made the fucking vein in the right side of my neck pop. Oh my God. First of all, what? That's a tack. You give me the

tack. What's happening? I'm not giving you a tack. I don't hear him good in my ears. Is that normal? No, that's not normal. No. Can you hear me? I hear you. I got louder. What's going on? What guys? Do we have to stop this sack? Why is everybody loud as fuck now? Okay. What I think we're picking on picking up. I hear something is something happening. Something's fucking this part. Like little. No, you're fine. Okay. Oh, that was happening. Talk into the microphone. Yeah. I've never been around one before. I'm not really in front of my head. Yeah. He sounds lower than everybody else. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I just don't know. And people listening right now live, can you please email me or text me, tweet Mike about the sound.

I need to know the sound is working. I apologize for this. The board went out just before the show started. We had to go get a whole brand new board. So please, if the sound is great, just give us a thumbs up. Michael on YouTube, if not, we're going to give us a thumbs up, Michael on YouTube. If not, we're gonna fix it. Let us know what's happening. Anyways, are you good with it? You can hear him now.

I can hear you. Yeah, I can hear you. You were an attack me. I was not going to attack you. First of all, I was part of my fucking my lexicon. Yeah, yeah. My lexicon. What was that? That means my word usage. My word usage, sure. Are you going, let me ask you something.

What? Because I know you well enough now. You going through something? What the fuck is that? I'm going to take that. Are you going through anything? I ain't going to do that. You got a puppy?

No, no, here's the thing. You got a new, you got a new pick up. Yes, you got a new pickup truck. Yeah, which is amazing. It's great. So you got a loving new puppy. Yeah. So you're buying it, you're starting to, is it was there's great. Don't you got it? I'm not loving you puppy. Yeah. So you're buying it.

You're starting to, was there, was it, what happened with that? Nothing, you're not going through anything. Are you saying I'm having a nervous breakdown, so I'm trying to fill a hole? No, no, no. I'm not saying nervous breakdown, but it could be a midlife like, you know, what I need to, you know, something like that. And nervous breakdown, a midlife president. First of all, okay, first of all, let's go.

I'm not attacking him. I said, first of all, he was waiting for a second of all. But when you say first of all the way, he did it. It didn't seem I just. People attack you know, second of all, both you know, fuck yourselves. Well, yeah, listen, first I don't put, I kept my name. I was just defending you.

No, no, no, you let Seinfeld do this to you. And now I now I'm mad. I know. You're right. It is bullshit. I know. Seinfeld did something to you and you. Who did something to you? Of course he did. He did something to you and you. Who did something to you?

Of course he did. He did something classic to him. He did something classic to him. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time.

Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time.

Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Long time. Yeah, we got too less you know, it's me on you know, comedians and friends cars have a property. I'll forget that in two seconds. I love it. What's up, pal? By the way, how great was that Eddie Murphy one, man? Eddie Murphy one's great. That's the best. Yeah, I was a great one. If he comes back and does stand up, I'm worried about it though, because I want him to. He's my hero. He's literally the reason I love Eddie. But when it's said close to a deal and then now a month went by and no deal.

And I could tell on the comedians and cars, it seemed like he was definitely vulnerable and nervous about it. I think the deal would have been done unless before he signed it, unless before he signed it, he wanted to go on the road and see. That's a thing. It could be a sign that he gives a shit about it. He could like what I think is he's going on the road right now. I think he's got like some people open and form and I think he's staying with this crew.

And I think he wants to see what the reaction is and what the feedback is before he signs the deal. But when we got to understand when did he tape that? It could have been when did he tape that show? Was it a year ago? No, no, no, no. What I'm saying is he didn't sign the deal. Yeah.

Hang on one second. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. How come nobody? Nothing. I mean, what's going on? What do you get here, my mic? That's why. I don't care if I can put you over. The Dallas cowboy, you want a cheerleaders? No, I didn't mean last.

I had nobody's with me on that. Yeah, Paul. See, it's a total misunderstanding. I wasn't saying I wasn't saying nobody left. I was saying, did anybody hear that? Yeah, I heard it. And they didn't laugh. Okay, no, what you did, not what I said. I was saying, did anybody hear that? Yeah, I heard it. And they didn't laugh. Okay, no, what you did, not what I said.

I know what I did. I'm saying they didn't laugh it when you said, and they heard what I did, and they heard what you said, and they didn't laugh. And you said, nobody, and I say, what do you need a fucking chili as well? Well, you know what, the way, I'm not letting you off the hook with a,

bleak before anything. Okay, so they don't need to fucking live. I heard the creep and you know what, it would have been a disrespect to your podcast if nobody called that. Second question. Do you guys ever finish topping? I guess we have a question. Yeah, I don't know if you ever got into a conclusion on anything.

I don't see that ever happening. Bobby got in my car and he adjusted the side. Do you remember this? So this is what we fight about. This is what me and Bobby fight. Anything else, Guy Cote, we're on the same. He gets in my car and he adjusted the side. Do you remember this? This is what we fight about. Okay. This is what me and Bobby fight. Anything else, Guy code. We're on the saying he gets in my car and he goes back. Listen to this. I keep touching. I don't keep touching. I mean, Greg, I touched the one. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I was two, three times. Come on. He gets in the car and he goes, he goes back and down. And I go, oh, you're one of those.

And he goes, what the fuck? He goes with the fuck, you man, I go, you either go back or down. You don't go back and down. He used every knob on the thing. Four hours later, neither of you got the Costco. You're still screaming in the car. I can't see. Listen to me, Stone. Yeah. Why would they give you the option of going back

in down if you're supposed to just choose one? I use life. Okay. Yes, of course. It's in life. I'm going to use it. If I can go back in down, I'm going to try it. I'm not just going down because I'm worried about what the fuck someone's thinking to be. What are you never gonna use the back? Yeah, man. First of all, the seats up like fucking like a little tiny person sitting in it. You're gonna get in this car.

$70,000 fucking car. I'm gonna do this like McGillagarilla and I'm gonna go down and then back just to feel comfortable. I got plant the fasciitis and I can't have my knees up. Listen, what do you mean one it else? It's so fucking bad. One of those makes me want to know this hilarious though. Want to so you got a dog run. Okay, but we finished that. No, we finished the dog. We finished the dog. right? We finished the dog, right? What? We didn't finish the Eddie Murphy thing.

But the top celebrity thing, my dog is two months, okay? How many months is a dog six months, right? Six months of dog gross, right? My dog's got four more months. Four more months. Your dog could go more than that. Okay, four more months, we're going to say six. Okay.

Four more months of growth. His nose still has pink on it. So you know that. So my dog's going to get up there. And then when my dog gets full grown, okay, like his dog's a couple of months ahead of mine, well, my dog's around full grown and the hair's in and the nose. Let's see who is his cuter. I'll do a cuter off with Celetti's dog. I'll fucking do it. Yeah. Publicly. I'll judge it. Usually dogs are usually, and I'm this is not to fight with you, but how does this not to fight with me? You have to say that at the fucking beginning, because you know what fights coming. You know, I think usually the dog is cutest as a puppy, right?

That's, of course, that's prime time. Yeah. Not Tom's dog. Tom's dog got really cute as it got. Okay. That worked. It like, it's actually. Tom's dog got really cute as it got. Oh, okay. That worked. It like. It's actually. That was good. That's what he does. He throws him in. We don't hear him. I'm not a must for gold. That was actually really good. It was good and quick, but you know what? You don't you don't have the confidence what you backed off. That's why his name is Mushi Mike. Yeah. That's why he's a mush. Yeah. I'll say him. He has the fucking cock in it from a fucking wet bathing suit. Anyhow. So back to Eddie Murphy.

I just want to now we're wrapped up with all the dog stuff. We wrapped every topic. We're back on Eddie Murphy. Yeah. Now Eddie Murphy, and we wrapped up the black dude that walked into. Nobody says nothing. That's where we're at. We're all that woke.

Just black guy walks in my studio. Nobody goes, what the fuck? He walked in so confident. I thought he's been here for fucking it. That should have scared everybody. No, he's not Puerto Rican. Did you see that thing on how it's turned real quick? Yeah, that was another.

Yeah, I put a rigot. Yeah, Puerto Rican, I would've started. I would've got up. I would've got up. I would've, what were you doing? Do you think Eddie is doing this? Because this is what I think he might be doing. I think Eddie, I truly so, and I said this to, I actually texted, I texted somebody and I said, I texted a text. I say texted in my room. You shouldn't. I'm wrong. Yeah. No, I text? I say text it in my role. You should. I'm wrong. Yeah.

No, I text. I text it. I texted. No, I think it's a text it, but I'm not of no for my words. All right. I text somebody. I go maybe when I watched it might be text when I text it again. I'm not just a text it.

Okay, it's texted. It's texted. Maybe the way you say it is wrong. Sorry, I One of those I when I when I Tell you why he's one of those Hey, everyone's a mouth. I think Mike is two for two right now. He's two for two. Yeah, I'm in a good episode Mike But stay confident with number three. Yeah, it's like hearing it. It's like hearing it out of the woods. You don't know who said it

It's like hearing it, it's like hearing it out of the woods. You don't know who said it. Yeah, yeah. It's like a f***. God, this picture I'm having sex with, it never mind. You're texting. It's good, Mike. Is it? I'm sorry. So I think, I think isn't Mike. Tell me who's, Mike, tell me who it is.

It's Mike. me who it is Mike you love say love Mike tell me it's yours. It's mine Hungry I'm hungry. Are you hungry? Jesus, I got cream. My dog has a mole on its eye. We got to remove it. We got to remove, right?

Sorry. What? As me, a friend of his dog is talking about growth on his eye, but we got it removed. We? It was the whole thing. Yeah, everybody. This is Jack Vaughn, your live on my podcast. This is Jack Vaughn, the president head of something.

Jack. Hi, Jack. Hi, how you doing, Jack? You know what, dude? I'll be doing your podcast. Oh, well, I love having you. This is, I went to Guatemala with this guy twice. He's trying to get me, we trying to get me go, Angoria.

And go over out here. You know what, you're here with dealers, joy. I was, yeah, you have a camera in your hand, they'll be hedging you and fucking sell your bones. That's good. All right, what's going on, buddy? How are you? I'm great, man, how are you?

I don't want to interrupt your podcast, but I'm just returning. I'll call you later. Sounds good, man. Talk to you. Bye, buddy. Sorry. That's Jack Von the head of serious radio. Eddie Murphy. Yes. So really a showstop. I think that I was I texted somebody and I said, no, I think you look it up. Please, right? Look at what is it? Well, just speak texted is correct. Text it is correct. All right.

There we go. The movie was right the whole time. All right. Well, he's one of those. Yeah. So I texted somebody and I said, I said, when I watched, when I watched Eddie on comedians and cars, yes, I saw, I saw and cars, I saw the fear and the vulnerability in him.

And when he talked about doing it, you saw that he got uncomfortable, you saw that he knew he had a lot of work to do. And he was like, well, you got to get back out there. And then when I saw that he was near a deal and didn't sign it, I go, he's doing one of two things. He's not either not going to do it. He's going to decide not to do it. Or before he signs it, he's going on the road right now. He's hitting the road and he's getting opinions from people and he's deciding if it's going to be good enough

and when he's ready, then he's going to tell comedy, then he's going to tell, I'm sorry, Netflix to do it and sign it and do it that way. That's what I think. I think that first of all, he should get 100,000. I'm going to have 100 million. 100 million. He's got 100 million. I think that first of all, he should get 100,000, 200 million. 100 million, he's got 100 million. I know what 70 million is for any Murphy coming back. And I think that Eddie Murphy is bigger than Chappelle Bigger because you know, we still have one of the greats walking the earth.

Who? Eddie Murphy, this, this, this, this, this, this, prior, this, and then this Murphy and Cosby, I mean, Cosby is still walking, but he's really not. He's dead, dead, everybody, right? I mean, he's pretty dead, everybody. So you still have one guy out there capable of fucking coming back and doing it. And he's the only one, the only one of the greats of me growing up. But yeah, kind of me, right? And if he comes back, I think Eddie, like he did back in the day, broke down all the walls. He said whatever the fuck he wanted, he talked about sex and gays and beating kill white people.

He did it all and he did it in a very funny way where everybody, not just the high elite white people, the average, mostly the average fucking blue collar white guy loved Eddie Murphy and laughed at Eddie Murphy because he made fun of them too. Yeah. And I think he crossed, crossed all the, I mean, look at all this stuff he talked about, Gays got in trouble for that. We, we, it was real gay on top of the, the two opening jokes of his specials about, like

St. Faggot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So he's going to have to, that's the hard part. I think for him. If he's going to come back, how is he going to be wokedy, which is going to stink? Or is he going to be fucking any murphy? I think he's going to joke about that.

And I think he'll joke about how what he did before, how he can't do now and make that funny. He's that good inside information. What the fuck was that? That's what I think he would do. I mean, he's my, he's my, I'm not trying to sound, I get the chills watching him talk. He's my all-time favorite.

He's my hero and I want him to do it. And I think he's good enough to do it. He was on Kimmel and he did an impression of Tracy Morgan on Kimmel. Half-assed. He didn't even want to do it. He did it half-assed and Kimmel just goes, he did it like 60% on the fly and Kim will

go, that's the greatest trace he went. He became him. Go to it. You could go to it. Did you see him? You fucked that. I saw that. That was amazing.

Did you see him accept his Kennedy war? No, my God, it was ridiculous. He walked out. Yeah. Did stand out. No, he walked out and did stand up and got like applause breaks. It's ridiculous. Yeah, but he walked out and did stand out.

No, it was your skills. It's a Mark Twain. It was a Mark Twain award.akes. It's ridiculous. Yeah, but he walked out and did stand up. What was your opinion? What was your opinion? With a Mark Twain award. I am Mark Twain, yeah right here. This is how net, it's so natural. It's so natural. This is how instinctually funny it is.

He is so, it's just in him. Anytime he gets a fervor crowd and amikes in his hand, he's going to fucking be Eddie Murphy. Listen to this shit. It's a good sign. Yeah. Can we play this? I'm just so showing.

Why? Talk, right? Let's go, we can talk over. Well, it's on fucking YouTube. Why can't? It can't be it by itself. We can talk over. Oh, okay.

Oh, we're talking over now. All right, so we, that's what, all right. So we're not just gonna play. Right. Look at him. Look, he still looks like a fucking million bucks. Look at all these old white people.

Like what the fuck? I look up good. Yeah, he looks great. He's just a bit. Look at his presence already. Look at him. Oh, yeah. He's already the shit.

Oh, he's the... I can just go. That doesn't go away. No. That. Look at that command of all of them. He wrote Gumby. He wrote Mr. Robinson's name.

This is a tremendous honor. Wonderful evening. I'd like to thank the Kennedy Center, first of all of them. He wrote Gumby. He wrote Mr. Robinson. Yes. It's a tremendous honor. Wonderful evening. I'd like to thank the Kennedy Center first of all for celebrating me and honoring me in such a wonderful way. And I said, the Kennedy Award to my family is a super special memorable night. And thanks, Kelly. To all the comedian hang on a hash haul. I mean, Sam Moore came on saying, and Alabama's shakes was here.

No nervous. Yeah, really, really, really. Wait till you get to the first lap. So I'm at it. Hasn't been lost on me that you know, usually when people have evenings like this, the person's really, really old when they get these away.

There we go. Now I base on it. They'll let you wait. Really, like, one of the greatest, funniest people of all time was George Carlin, and he received this award, award, posthumously. I mean, it's after he's dead, Mike.

And he's funny in all of us. So to be standing here alive and looking like myself still. He's not swearing. Still have to murder. You know what, you get really old, you get a bit of humor. But this is the best. Yeah, yeah. This one goes fuck it.

Yeah. And there was also some confusion about whether or not it was an award or a prize. And I didn't. Actually, it's an award. Even though they call it a prize, it's an award. Because usually when there's a prize, there's money involved. Yeah. when there's a prize, there's money involved. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE I thought I was going to get some paper.

I was like, yo! Mark Twain awarded Kennedy's to this and I'm like, paper! They told me yesterday that they raised $2.3 million. I was like, yo, I'm in there! Then I came down and they told me that you do it. Oh, there is no, it's a prize, but there's no money. I was like, oh, it is. So I think to clear up the confusion for future recipients,

maybe you don't want to have that laugh, our Twain prize. Maybe you might want, if you don't want to call it the award, maybe you could call it the our Twain prize, maybe you might want... If you don't want to call it the award, maybe you could call it the Mark Twain surprise. That's funny. I thought, hey! Oh, me like, we did it.

I like this. Hi, so maybe he's not killing. Yeah. Maybe he's doing mediocre front of a bunch of old white people. Nobody's still funny. But he hasn't told jokes in fucking 50 years. There you go, and 40. But that still doesn't diminish how wonderful this is.

A wonderful, wonderful thing to be included. Here it is. Some of my heroes are to prior, and George Carlin, and this is at Carl Reiner. Here we go. It's Lily Tomlin. Who else got this? Bill has one of these. Yeah. Do you want to make Bill give his back?

Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. He said fuck. He's talking back to him.

He should do one show. We just come out and just talk crazy now. I would like to talk to some of the people who say, I should give back my job. Come on. I should give back my... Thomas! Come on. You know what, dude, he'll kill in an hour. He'll kill.

Especially if he's working. Ah, look at that! Yeah, he's back. Just because! You may have heard recently that I allegedly put the pair of little people stuck in it! There's my mother. I'm not welcome up to my house, talk about give up the trophy, I allegedly put the pyramid in the people's chocolate! Ha ha ha ha!

There's my mother. My mother would come up to my house, talk to my wife, give her up to trophy, because she put the pyramid in the people's chocolate. You get it! No! Ha ha ha! Look at her, get me back! You get that shit!

And whoo! Ha ha ha! He's feeling it! Yeah, do you think he's ripping this or? Yeah, this is for Boris! Oh, this is great! Oh, man! That's feeling it. Yeah, do you think he's riffing this or? Yeah, this is for Boris.

Oh, this is great. Oh, that's a- That's a- Oh! Ah! Ah! Ah! God, boss.

The boss. Hannibal is hate man's name. Ah! And you all just come on up and push the best cosplay ever. If I ever see or meet this handful of others in person, I am going to try to get a snigger. He didn't block that. He did.

This one show like this is the one. Oh, there's a stop. I don't know if we go too far. That's it. That's it. Listen, first of all, they bleeped out swear words. They left that word. This world stinks.

That's like when Patricia's a tough girl called a Gwynn, the DC sniper, they bleeped out Buick and left the N-Wers. Who would you say? The truth is that you say it was, the joke was, they always, they thought it was a some middle-aged white guy, but I'm not being a nigger and a viewer. And they bleed, and they left the N word in. And he was like, he's just saying the, I, it was like, what the fuck? I really believe this.

I believe that if Eddie Murphy really went out and worked and got the confidence, and I think if his confidence got the way he was during that Cosby thing, I think he would put a fucking another classic out. That's how good he is. Yeah, but here's the deal. If he, I think so too, dude, but I want it so bad because I think Eddie doing an hour will fuck because everybody's worried. What can you say? What can't you say? But all that horse shit, I think he comes out and does this. Fuck you. He comes out and just does that. So look what he just did in front of that crowd. He swore. He said the N word. He did a Bill Cosby joke. Fucking fuck. He said Hannibal Burst. That's a fun. That's a bit. Yeah. That's a great bit. I mean, no disrespect to Dave Chappelle, but Eddie is just like Eddie's

just better. Yeah, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Jonathan Stone next podcast. Yeah. Fuck you. Fuck you. Oh, that's fucking awesome. Bobby, who's in a podcast? We got Jonathan Stone's going to be on. Let's just do Agnes name. Jonathan Stone. Hey, that's the first one. I'm not have that mother button. Redstone.

I'm going to kill him. I'm Jonathan Stone. I think, look, I think she, of course, she's great. I'm just a fan of the community. I'm going to be a fan of the community. I'm going to be a fan of the community. I'm going to be a fan of the community.

I'm going to be a fan of the community. I'm going to be a fan of the community. I'm going to be a fan of the community. I'm going to be a fan of the community. I'm going to be a fan of the community. I'm going to be a fan of the community. I'm going to be a fan of the community. I'm going to be a fan of the community. I'm going Stone. I think, look, I think she, of course, she's great. But I'm just a fan of Eddie. I like Eddie. I like Eddie. Because you said, well, look at his, even when Bobby, you just got excited and you go, all the left, that's what we were, when we were young, that's what there was.

Yeah. He has charisma out of the ass. Yes. And it's not a, look, I love Chappelle, but he's more jazz and cool. And he's not cool. He's cool, but he's silly. He's funny. He's goofy.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. And I like that. I like that type of comedy. I like when somebody's fucking a little silly and goofy. And how nuts is it that Delirious, he was was 22 and raw he was 25 and he did the drunk father and he did the uncle at the barbecue and then he did those two classics and stop before he was 26. Think about that. That's wild. I mean, he stopped before he was 26 and he's got two hours that we talk about now. I just want to stop before I'm 40. I want

to have two good ones before. I just want to be from 60. I just have one. I like to have a mediocre fucking good one. Let me ask you this. What do you prefer? What would you rather? I prefer your regular name. I'm sorry, I got it.

A mediocre Murphy special or him putting out the greatest Beverly Hills cop new movie special. Special special. It's not you. You rather a medium special. I'm not asking. I'm never going to forgive him for fucking Beverly Hills Club three. What? That was great. You know, it was up three. I'm not going to be a ball. Yeah, he's hanging from it. It's chasing same shit. I love it. Dude, that was fucking hot. That was Godfather three. It was really terrible. I mean, I'm not going to be. Maybe I just loved it because it was that he watched it today. Yeah, I was not hold weight.

Oh, fucking stinks. Eddie Murphy three sucked. Eddie Murphy, first of all, you're an amusement park. Why are you wearing the jacket? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's a door. The jacket. Yeah, you don't have a jacket on. He was in Hollywood. He was in Hollywood.

You know, hard it is to look that good at almost 60. He looks like he's 38 years old. He looks great. He looks great. Now you can do that. But I heard he was a gazillion dollars. No, no, but also what's his name? Rest is soul. His brother, Charlie Murphy, goes when everybody went out to the clubs to drink, Eddie would go in for a second and get home and just go to his room. This guy is a fucking loner homebody. He didn't, he's not an abuser of any substances at all. Me, they're mine. That's why I look very fucking great. What are you laughing at? All right, that's it. You look great. Yeah, look at that. Look at that guy. I mean, that man, he is a super star.

Yeah, he is classic. You know, like, classic. He wrote, listen to this at 18 years old. He wrote Gumby. He wrote Mr. Robinson's neighborhood, like, classic. He wrote, listen to this, at 18 years old, he wrote Gumby. He wrote Mr. Robinson's neighborhood, like he fucking saved us. Can you stop acting like Gumby was fucking a catcher in the ride? No, but it became a classic. If anybody else would have been great, if anybody else did Gumby, I don't think it would have been great. I think anywhere if he could love it.

I'm not saying that. I'm saying you hate mother fuck. I'm just saying 18 years old. This NBC was like, he wrote something good enough. He was already written. What? Gumby was already a thing. No, Gumby, I know, but he did the same. He did write Gumby. He just became Gumby. I mean, no, what do you think? I thought he did the clay thing. Gumby did. I know that. He was in the stop animation. He's acting like he fucking came up with Gumby.

He just, he didn't come up with Gumby to character. He came up with the Gumby sketch. I know, but it's not, I mean, what do you want? He's a sketch. He's supposed to come up with sketches. What the fuck were you doing at 18? What the fuck? I'll tell you what I was doing.

I was helping people recover for fucking drug addiction and alcoholism. I sat in my own A meeting and I worked my way out of the fucking rubber rooms in the regular class and got a scholarship to fucking college. Well, it wasn't, it wasn't James Brown and a hot tub, all right? And I think might be the best one though. Yeah, but it was no. What you got?

You got not a hot tub. He actually saved us. I know. Yeah. Eddie Murphy saved that fucking show. And that's why he never went back because David Spade did on the update. What do you do? The whole reason why Eddie Murphy never went back to Saturday Night Live was because on a weekend update, David Spade did the thing on update called Spade in America. And they put a picture of Eddie's face on and he goes, look, Mommy, a fallen star. And everybody goes, oh, and then he never fucking went back for that. He never went back because SNL, the fucking place that he saves, shit on him.

Right. But here's the one thing about Eddie. I mean, what if he did, this is what his fear is, and what if this happened? What if Eddie signs a deal with Netflix? They give him 70 million? And it's a fucking disaster? That's the one. It's a very positive. I don't think it will most likely. That right there, that right there is why that right there is why Eddie Murphy never went back until the 40th. Dude, I don't think it's likely that it's, I mean, it'd be great if it was amazing, but the chances are that is the best weave in the fucking business. Honestly, God, the best, he's got the best weave ever.

Dave. That's fake. Yeah. Are you kidding me? Look at it. What are you kidding me? I know. Look, he's wearing a cat on his head.

What are you talking about? It looks like my cat shameless. It looks like Trump's hair four years ago. Now, I think, I think here's what's worse, okay? If he comes back and it's not bad or it's not great, still not good. It's just okay. I don't want to be at the end of it. Me and Moe have go, that was good.

I know. What do you think? I don't want it to be like, that's going to happen. I think it's why he needs at least two years of touring. What I used to be an insane rollerblader. Okay, that was 10 years ago. He stopped at 26 standup. I mean, like he's got a fucking dude, if I put those skates on, bro, I, you know,

where there's call an ambulance. That's what's going to happen to him. Mike, find something that I can throw. If it breaks, I's what's going to happen in Mike. Find something I can throw. If it breaks, I won't mad dude. He hasn't done stand up in five. I wanted to hurt. Well, 30 years. Did you just compare any Murphy doing stand up again to you?

Rollerblading never seen you rollerblade. That's true. You're a high was nasty. You have your own set of cones, little cones, little cones. Yeah, I did. But that's not that's not what I was the main my main points. You have your own set of cones, little cones, little cones. Yeah. Yeah, I did. But that's not what I was the main points. No, but he hasn't fucking done it.

He has to take it so seriously. He has to have that hunger for sure. Stop, stop. All he has to do is come back and get on stage. Yeah. Okay. All he has to do is put a mic in his hand. If you're a comic like he is, they put a mic in his hand in front of a room full of people

that wanted just, thank you. And this is great. And he went up and did any Murphy on the cuff. And he said, fuck it halfway through. He built up some laughs. But I'm going to do these. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to be me. And then he turned into him. The first part of that set was very no swearing, very little bow. It's a prize. Blah, blah, blah. And then all of a sudden, he was like, fuck it. And he went and did him. And he crushed it.

That's a thing. Crushed it in front of that crowd. Okay. Now, you give him fucking a year. That's what I'm saying. But he'd have to take the year. Of course, a lot of people don't do it. What do you think he's going to come?

Stone, you're saying something that is so stupid, that it's making me mad at you because you're not stupid. You're saying what are you? He's going to come back and you know, I think he's going to say stupid that it's making me mad at you because you're not stupid. You're saying what are you? He's going to come back and you know, I think he's going to say it's not just the year. You know, it's not just the year. It's not, it's the, it's first of all, people are going to go crazy. I mean, it's not the mic out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, people are going to go crazy when it comes out.

I fucking put my mic out. When I sit back in the chair, Versey, that's me taking my mic out. Okay. First of all, I'm all any Murphy. I want to be great. I sound like it. But I'm saying as long as he takes it seriously, doesn't just take the easy laughs, people are going to go crazy the fact that he's back.

You think you don't think that he's going to come out? Did you change my mic, Ed? You didn't. This is somebody else's. This is somebody else's, right? Because I can smell it. What? I have my own mic thing. You own like smell? No, I have a thing that I take this off because I like my own Mike thing and they didn't put it on. Two weeks off, the fucking place falls apart. Okay. I smell chip chippison.

Anyhow. Anyhow. I'm telling you right now, brother. Yeah, yeah. He's going to come back. He's going to have a team of people, a fucking team of people that are going to do that much money. This is, you know, much money.

You know, these people are going to be around and the fun. Listen, shut your face. Sure. Yeah, but I also have things to say. All right, but wait, let me finish. Yeah, point my, I have a rant. I'm going to go a little rant. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, I'm a ranta. Sometimes mom and a logger. I'm ready. This is a little rant. She's a leave. No. Okay. We can and I'll get this little rant. She's relieved. No, okay, we can't talk. I mean, you don't listen. We we we he's gonna come back. He's gonna do every major comic in the world is gonna be there for him to watch him to check it out. Everybody and he doesn't need it. He's funnier and his little fucking pinky instinctually

one thousand. When he gets a mic in his hand than any of these fox who are sitting there with their dumb no pads and every fucking person in the world giving them tags and bitch and all the shit. He just goes up and does it, okay? That's who he is. So there's no way he's going to come back. He's going to take the time and he's going to fucking murder it like he did when he was

20 something. I, can I? Yep, good. I don't, I don't, I hope. But there are a lot of things you have to put in to think it. All those guys get his head, Eddie, you can't say that. Eddie, you can't do this. Is that going to affect him, right?

Is he going to go work? He's got 70 million dollars to him, not a lot of money. He doesn't need it. Shut. Stop that. No, but here's the thing. 70 million dollars. Anybody not a lot of money. He doesn't need it. Shut. Stop that. No, but here's the thing. $70 million, anybody is a lot of money. When you can have, he can have right now with this moment anything he wants.

Go go home and work. What a 70 million. No, but here's the thing. But he had to do a lot of money. But correct. This is why I understand what you're saying about people in his ear and what you're saying. I do want to just finish real quick. Okay, go ahead.

He's going to need to go tour this hour. Yeah. Dude, that kind of comfort level. Is he willing to tour the hour? Is he willing? Or you said that? Okay. He said that exactly. I hope. I hope. You're right. But he said that he goes, in order for me to do this, I need to put in the time. I need to get back in the clubs and do it. But when you said the people that are in his corner and what can you do this? I was just in Philadelphia and the green room picture of Dave Chappelle. I put it on my Instagram and my Twitter is the greatest thing I ever said.

He said, thanks for letting me in the club and then he said, and to the comedians, say whatever you're thinking, just say it. I love it. And I think that Chappelle is somebody in his corner. Yeah. I think that rock is somebody in his corner. I think that Rock is somebody in his corner. I think the world. I think the people that are, I think the people can I finish now because you asked me now is my time. I have been not talking this whole podcast.

That's untrue. You've been talking. I like to be speaking the entire time. It's the Greg Stonehill. Sorry. Jonathan. So I think I think the people in his corner know the importance of this with him and know what we're saying. Obviously, but I think if it's Chappelle, I think if it's rock, I think that they're going to bring on people like even honestly, like you never know who they ask, like, Hey, Rogan, like, you never know. And they're just going to go Eddie. You're Eddie Murphy. I, and I actually do think the standards are different. I think it's different with him. I think this is, you hey, Rogan, like, you never know. And they're just going to go, Eddie, you're Eddie Murphy.

And I actually do think the standards are different. I think it's different with him. I think this is, you know, what we, we're like, what are we? We're like, we're like 30 years removed from this guy. Can I say something? Hey, Bill Cosby's in jail. Yeah.

I mean, Bill, oh, Jason, jail. And how have I got a jail? I mean, there's so much shit going on. And how ironic is it that Bill Cosby was the one giving Eddie Murphy shit saying that you can't. He's in jail for being a serial rapist. He's in jail for being a serial. You don't think he has fucking 30 minutes on that?

I mean, I really hope I want the best. You know, here, take this. I'm not mad at you. That's half empty. Why don't you take it? No. No, I mean, I really do. I do want to be great.

And I hope it is. And I'll say, you know, who surprised me was, you know, who No, I mean, I really do. I do want to be great. And I hope it is. And I'll say, you know, who surprised me was, uh, no, who's, I loved Romano's special. Yes. And when they told me he was coming back, I was like, what's it going to be? And then it was like, they were whispers. People were like, dude, he's killing. Oh, yeah.

And especially. He's fucking right. Here's the problem. We've seen so many mediocre specials in the last couple of years. Yeah. We've seen so much mediocre horse shit that you like you expect. Oh, this guy, yes, that's one more.

This guy just fucking name drop for fucking an hour and a half. This but what the fuck? Oh, you vagina. We can men stick. Ah, women are all right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we saw so much mediocre shit that we are expecting like, wow. So then when you see like a rare money like this is going to up and then he kills it. I think any Murphy is going to come back if he does and he'll

murder. He'll knock it out. Let me ask you a question. Let me ask you both a question. Please. What did you think of Chris Rocks, Tangerine? I didn't watch it. Oh, can you not say, you probably can't say, or I don't know. I didn't see it. Okay. That's fair. No, it's not that I didn't want you, but that's it. But that says it. But that says it. Yeah, but that says it because that nobody told me to watch it. Okay, look comedy special. That's a guy who's a great. I was told to watch also it's tambourine. Can I say something? Can I say something I could get me in trouble? Can I say something on my podcast? Because I was in the middle of it. I mean, I was literally in the middle of it. Okay. Well, then I mean, why are you the victim? I should be the victim.

I'm sorry, I didn't. I'm the victim. I was in the middle of it. I said, but you're acting like a victim. I'm taking a seven. Yeah, but you're kind of like, you know, sad and shit. Sad. Well, this is what happens with you.

Three people who are the exact the same person on a podcast. You're not the same. I mean, you're all very similar. I got a few things. Couple. Couple. Oh, that almost came out. Go ahead. Now I forgot what I was going to say.

Tangerine. No. Rich Rock. No. I'm ugly. You, I mean, yes, but now you're good looking guy. Unconventually. Go ahead. And a very spaghetti western type thing. Do you think I probably shouldn't say this, but wow. No, should I say yeah. All right, fuck it.

Fuck yeah. Fuck you. Can you camera? Let's get this. No, no, I, you know, I heard that bring the pain he had writers and I heard that there was a lot of writers with Chris Rock and that I'm not going to lie. Like that's just for me. I look at and I don't know if that's true. That's what I heard that there was a lot of writers with Chris Rock and that I'm not going to lie. Like that's just for me. I look at and I don't know if that's true.

That's what I heard that there were writers. Carlin did not do that. You know, I know that my best friend and mentor Bill Burr doesn't do that. I know Bobby Kelly. Just say, Burr, just say, Burr. Don't give us the fucking though the fucking pavement. I know it's funny. My wife always says that.

Yeah, don't do that. But I always do that in my best friend and mentor. but I call it, but I call you Bobby Kelly. Yeah, but don't give him credit. You're not bringing him up. Nobody. He is my best friend. You call me Bobby Kelly. Yeah. And I call him Bill. I call everybody by all. You don't call me. I mean, you were with ingrex. No, because you, because you fake your name. You let Seinfeld ruin. I'm kidding. Also, I don't have an Emmy. But you don't write. You don't write. You don't write. You don't know who he is.

Yeah. You say that to somebody interviewing you. Okay. You don't say that to me. I'm your friend. He's my friend. Right. Okay.

You're making it sound like I don't know him too. No, I didn't mean to let him. Yeah, but you like doing my mentor best friend, Bill Burr. I don't know if you know him. I fucking know him before you. He's. Did you just spit my drink? No, I didn't mean it like. Yeah, but you like, yeah, be like, do my mentor best friend, Bill Burr. I don't know if you know him. I fucking know him before you. He said, did you just spit my drink? I know I did. I spent on my no pet.

I was looking at credit. If you get a no pass, I thought this in real quick. Remember the Eddie Murphy, the sketch, the hot tub, where he spends the whole sketch trying to get in the hot tub, never gets in the hot tub. That is literally what you guys do. I was literally, I was, I hear what you're saying, but I was, I was looking at Greg.

But what I'm going to say is if Chris, if Chris Rock did have writers for Bring the Pain, does that affect me with my, because he was after Eddie left, it was Chris for me. And then I heard that. And it bothered me. And then I heard something else and I'm just going to say it, you know, there were two things that happened that bothered me about Chris Rock. And it was writing when he did the, when it was, it was writing, but when he did the new one, he was like getting young comedians and asking people and asking, and I heard he asked, like, you know, somebody, hey, who were the guy? Who should I get to?

And, you know, like bringing people and watching him. And like, for me, that changes things for me, you know, and he, when I was, I'll say, if I don't care, I was at the garden with Bill and I had a really good set. And he was there with Questlove. And somebody said, you know, it was like the set of my life and somebody goes, man, that dude killed. And then in one time it was just me and him in the hallway and he walked by and I thought I was going to get a, it was just me and him. And he said it to somebody else what I did. And then when we're walking and he just, he looked and

he didn't say anything about it. Did he go up yet? It bothered me. Did he go up that night? Chris? No, he just didn't say it here. No, so I finished off and somebody I saw Questlove and Chris in Bill's green room after Bill got off. And the words that I heard where somebody goes, dude, Chris Rock just went up to him and goes, hey man, those dudes, I do it open or the dude's open just killed and Bill's a

new king of comedy or something like that. Something really nice. And then it was me and him and the thing and I go, oh, I might get a, I might get a, because he said that and I know the set that I had and he just, he looked and he just, and he just did the same thing. And I'm not going to lie, bug me. Maybe we gave him, there's so many things, good, but, why, though, but I'm going to tell you this, if I'm, no, no, no, I'm going to be serious.

I'm going to tell you, if I'm, if I'm going to walk down, if I'm going to walk down and I said that about somebody, right? If I came, if I came to see Chappelle and you open for Chappelle and you fucking tore the garden down and I said to Chappelle, y'all dude, your opener is killed and everything. And then me and, and you were going down the same hallway. I'd go, hey dude, you fucked that up. Good for you. That's just, that's stupid about you. What? Rock is very, but I heard, no, but I that up. Good for you. That's just that's stupid about you. What rock is very you know, I heard, but I heard I heard that about it, but why the fuck would you? Why would you go see somebody? You need to go see some. I don't think so. The fact that you still have this, the fact that you

still, I'll never, I'll never not have it. You will not. The same way that you're never going to get rid of, you're never going to get rid of the not you with sign filled. Are you? Are you ever getting rid of that, Bobby? That is not even the same fucking level. No, it's definitely not but what are you ever talking about? You're talking about you're talking about somebody. It's definitely what you're right. It's not even I mean, it's not even you can't I can't answer that question because it's not the same thing. But one is fucking tragedy. I think you're fine. The other one is just maybe he was in his own head. Maybe his wife just said, I want a divorce, and he's walking on the hall.

I was already in the court. I was thinking about it. Oh, whatever. Maybe he's worried about something. You're in the divorce. And you're coming down and he's just in his own head, and then he's like, fuck, maybe he's- No, no, no, no, no, no.

It was eye contact, and it could have been like, hey, good job, you did a good job. Shepelle would have, you know, Shepelle would have. I really believed that. I think that it was just end it bothers me, but- But let me ask you guys to be honest, and I want everybody, Mike, I want you, you're, I want everybody's everybody.

Everybody. Everybody. If I'm not on everybody, I'm gonna count you, I'm gonna fuck you. I'm gonna fuck you. On a count, if a comedian that you love does a special, that's classic and historic. Yeah.

And then you find out that they didn't write it. Does it take away from you? I'll tell you why. You ready? You want me to get some of this? You want me to get some first? Wait, you just said I'll tell you why. I know, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna say. Okay. But do You want me to tell you? You want me to answer first? Wait, you just said I'll tell you why. I know, I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna say.

Okay, but do you want me to go first to last? I want you to go first. Why? Why? You asked me. All right. I think it does not bother me. Here's why.

Here's why. Yeah, because why do the creative thing on yourself? That's not it. Okay, tell me. A lot of guys will have people, and this goes on with a lot of people. Yeah, because why do the creative thing on your side by yourself? That's not it. Okay, tell me. A lot of guys will have people, and this goes on with a lot of people. Are you okay?

I mean, I have gurd. It's part of my fucking life. I got a, I got a pill for that. What? A lamp hazard. I'm not taking a fucking lamp hazard. Why? Was it an Italian Pepsi, AC?

No, no, no, it's a, it's a pill that makes you not a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, No, no, no, it's a, it's a pill that makes you not. Well, it's a, it's a, it's a pill. I'm not taking a pill. You don't know the name of. No, I'm set, Lam, it's like, yeah, I'm not taking that pill. Whatever that pill is, that you can't fucking tell me. Well, it'll stop you from going every time you fucking talk. There's one guy who pisses off. So I'm asking what is a guy that tags me, dude, stop burping in the mind, no, fuck him. So there you go.

So I'm just what is a guy that takes me dude, stop burping in the mind, no fucking. So there you go. Here's why. Here's why some guys actually have people help them punch something up, watch their stuff. Hey, what about you should try this? There's no problem with somebody, you know, when you're coming out with specials every couple years, I mean, look, they used to come out with specials every five years, half hour records and certain things like that. The curve has been adjusted because of Netflix.

And you know, you used to do a special, took a lot longer. Now they're like, we want one, one a year. So we want to for this year. It's like crazy what they expect out of these people now. So they have to produce. Now you work 15 years for your first hour, 15, 16 years for that first hour. You work your ass off for and you finally get it out there bang. Then you got to come up with another one in a year or two and then another one after that and they just keep going. So I don't think it's that bad for after your special or the, or your first thing to get it right. Try to say, look man, I'm around the funniest motherfuckers. Paul, I'm going to have you come see my hour. And if you're going to be like, dude, I love that joke, but you

should try saying that I said, Quinn helped me with a joke over the weekend. So you're talking about punch ups. So yeah, I'm saying yeah, because I don't think they helped him right. I think I'm pretty sure he was like, dude, here's the jokes. And he had people come and sit in and go check it out. Dude, that joke's awesome. But you should say this. Quinn just helped me with the joke. Well, that's the one line at the end of this joke that fucking just, I mean, just tease it off. But I hear what you're saying. I mean, I don't really like the tags, but I get that. But my question was, if you saw a classic or something amazing, and you found out that the writing of it really wasn't like what my question was, if you saw a classic or something amazing and you found out that the

writing of it really wasn't like what I'm saying is if you found out, let's just say, and it wouldn't be Eddie, but let's just say Chris Rock came out with another one next year. And you found out that somebody that he brought with him actually wrote a piece of it, a chunk of it and wrote it. But it was great with that bother you. If I found it, he wrote a shot like a bit, if it was hit somewhere, if he did somebody else's bit from top to bottom, yeah.

But if he had, if he had all the premises and someone helped punch shit up, which happens all the time, I don't have a problem with that. Okay. I don't, as long as you're paying that person, what they should get to because you're giving a comic a job, you're giving a, you know, and I'm sure that a Murphy had people help him. I'm sure his brother helped him. I'm telling you, look at Paul Mooney helped Richard Pryor. Yeah. Fact. Some of those jokes are from Paul Mooney. Fact. People, you're supposed to,

there was something that happened somewhere along the line where we were like, we, we can't help each other. It's disrespectful from you. You're not honorable. It's, it's not. And look, I don't do it. I've never had anybody do it. But I have, I've loosened up on that because I'm like, wait a minute. I hang out with the funniest people ever.

Hey, dude, what about this joke? Somehow that was like, she dude, what the fuck? Don't try your jokes out on me. Go fuck yourself. That's what we're supposed to do. That's what the greats did. Okay, there are some fucking people that are savant and that don't need that, right? Cool. You know what I mean? But I think it's okay for me to go verzy. I got my new hour. Come watch it. Dude, that jokes great. Well, Mike's sitting there too, taking down notes. Yeah, let's get this motherfucker right. If you can say, dude, that helped me with a couple tags here and there. And you can say, dude, that one's not working.

What it worked, but fuck it. You should get help. Okay, so you're saying if somebody punches up some of your premises and helps you get better, great. But if they wrote the whole chunk, you know, I guess I agree with that. But I know. But J-moor had his wife write his last special. I don't agree with that. No, I don't agree with that. I know because J-moor could be funny reading the newspaper.

J-moor is one of the funny skies in the fucking planet, hands down. I don't care what you say, whether you like them or not. There's nobody funnier than J Moore on radio instinctually conversational. He makes me laugh. Say what you want socially, I get it, okay? But the fact that he is wife wrote his last special, I get it. But it was like, dude, that's something I want out of you. I want to see you come out and fucking do it. Do you think? Yeah. Yeah. So that I don't know what you name. Greg Kruel is. Yeah. I mean, 90% of my material I've run by my friends. And like my Davido is like my Anthony DeVito, one of my best friends, all my jokes I run them by.

You should. And not only whether or not he gives me tags, but like, nothing. No, no, I just thought you meant you should as a, God. No, you should run and you jokes by a lot of people. No, but like even if we come to a better thought, that's the most fun part of comedy is sitting down with your friends and me, like, what's your fucking, what's this, this and we shoot back? And that's my favorite part.

Like I wouldn't even want to, man, you make me fuck a dick, whatever. Hey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Paul does connect and you got a text and just connect it. Oh, you're fucking left to plan it. No, I put sorry. I'm sorry. Paul disconnected. He got a text and disconnected. Oh, I got a text. Well, you fucking left a planet. No, I put my phone down. You'll look to your phone, then you put it down.

I made sure it was off. I had a fucking great line. You didn't even fucking laugh at it. I was hurt about myself. I had fucking my two point oak smile. And Bushie Mike hates me. So he just stared at me like an hour. And this fucking guy thinks I'm hating him.

I'm not. I mean, myself right now. I guess I love you. I guess the reason why is because I have a hard time. I have a hard time taking a tag or a punchline. Well, you shouldn't. Yeah, definitely. You should. No, I'm not not sound like whatever, but it's like, but it's not, but it's, but it's not your left. Yes, it is. It's not your left. Okay. So here's the thing though. And this is what I don't understand about people when people go up on a roast, right? Yeah. And they go up on the roast and they come up and they have their pad and they put

it down. And you know, let's just say for whatever is it, you know, whoever the comedians they go, okay. And they're like, yeah, man, I wrote like five jokes for so-and-so's comedy central roast. You're reading somebody. I remember having a friend go and do you want to write roast jokes for me. And let's say I wrote 15 for them and they used to. Yeah, yeah. And they're like, yo, dude, did you see so and so on the comedy centurals? He killed. He didn't kill. He killed delivering somebody else's lens. I have a hard time. I say so. I've always had. Okay. First of all, first of all, it's when you're on a sitcom, those jokes aren't yours. Okay. Okay. You have a writer's room. Okay. Well, you're on SNL. The jokes aren't

yours. You have writers. Okay. So you're comparing a rose to Okay. Well, you're on SNL, the joke's on yours. You have writers. Okay. So you're comparing a rose to that? What I'm saying, a rose is an entertainment thing. It's not stand up. It's a, it's like a sketch. No, that's a great, okay. So you're looking at that and more as a show and I get that.

It's a show. Even the old ones, it was a show. Your stand up is not a show with a writer's name. Stand up is a show. No, there it is. It's a performance. It's a performance. And now it's your performance, it's your thoughts, it's your ideas, it's your hang on. Let me just say it's your thoughts. Hang on now. Okay. Premises that people that you trust might have

or you do it. You got that joke. That joke is there. But think about this. Think about it isn't. Oh yeah. I'm telling you, man. I'm telling you, I just did the whole joke. Maybe I had a whole joke about role playing that was killing. And then there was one thing where my wife worked. The whole thing was my wife said, let's role play, what do you want? I say massage, Paula. And I just go in and she was like, no, it's too close to what I do.

I'm like, you're a nesthetician. That's down the hall. That's waxing. I don't want you to wax me. And I do this whole joke and she comes, I got an outfit. She comes out like a schoolgirl and I'm like, I'm 48. I'm not a pedophile. I go, why is this okay, but me pretending you to be a middle aged Asian woman mass jerking

me off. Why is that bad? And oh, by the way, what's going on that you work that it's yeah, yeah, yeah. See what I'm saying? That joke's there. I thought of it. Now if Quinn launches that joke, those dude, this is a great joke. I got something for you. Okay. Okay. Okay. Well, let me say this. Let me say I come to your house. We're in the shed. We're smoking a cigar in your shed. And I go, Bobby, here's this, here's this closer I'm thinking about for my, yeah, here's this closer.

I'm thinking about for an HBO special. Yes, right? Yes. And you go, what is it, Versey? And I just tell you, I go, I, you know, it's about taking my kids to the park and I saw another mother with their kids and I'm like, no, listen, and you go like this and you go, okay, so it's taking your kids to the park and you see another mother. What if you see, but what if that last thing you said was this line was a punchline. Yeah. And I do that on my HBO special. And it explodes

and goes nuts. You know, I'm fucking, do you know how horrible I would feel? Yeah. No, but that, but that's in my mind. That's not true. I don't know if it's an eight. I don't know if it's a, it's not true. Do you think, but like if that line, I don't, I don't think it's bad what you're saying. If that's what you do, I've, I've never really, it's not honorable to me. It's definitely honorable, man, you're giving people a product, also not a product, not to sound shitty, but also you're giving people the best possible joke you could. I'm glad.

Now, and if you don't, if you do that joke, I'm not going to do a joke if I have something similar, right? So we get very mad like, hey, no one should do me doing similar jokes. Right. Well, then if you're not going to make it the best fucking joke possible. Yeah. And I think that your friends help you do that shit and you've earned that. You know, we're comics, dude. We're supposed to look at you're supposed to, you know, do this. That's fucking awesome. I love that joke. What about this? This would be funny to, yeah, great. Can I have that? Yeah. And you're giving them. And you're giving them, so it's 2% on him.

There's 2% of all of us on all of us. Yeah, but dude, I've never done it either way. You, you look, if I was my OCD, so why not? If I ever gave you a fucking kill line and you didn't use it, I'd fucking think you're an idiot. Because not only do I not give a fuck about me, I don't want it. I don't want the cred.

You thought you inspired me. Right. You inspired me to think of something creative for that thing. That's all it is. You would have got there. You would have had it, right? If you just, I just, you made me go, that's so awesome. Try this. It just came out. What am I supposed to go? I got a great fucking, all right. What? No, I got a great line. I'm not going to tell you. No, you'd be like, what? I would, you and I think I would tell you and you would use it, but if I think there's a part of me and I don't know what it is, but I just let that shit go with Chris Rock.

You need therapy. I definitely do. I have OCD in a sickness. You look at those old wrestlers who refuses to get the rolling suitcase. It's like, I just carry that shit. I carry it my whole way. It's like, man, you're the wheel. Share a car with Snooker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that is who I am. But it's my, it's definitely my OCD. And I know that if I, it's just in me and it's unfortunate, but I know that if I got a laugh from somebody else's punchline, I would go home and I'd beat myself up and

I would tell my wife that the person that did that deserve that laugh and I don't and I would go to bed feeling like shit. That's why I am. If you would give me, like if I give you a tag, you also understand that I'm sure that you will also have given me a tag. But you don't have to. You don't have to. I mean, you're making it like, yeah, if you do it, you don't have to.

I know bird doesn't do that. I don't, I mean, look, I've given stuff to, I've given stuff to Quinn. I've given him tags. Bobby, I've watched you perform. You don't take shit from people. I know you don't. I know you don't. Do you? I've taken, I took one from, I called, I just said, okay, okay. So I have a great, how many, how many jokes have you taken from another comedian that you put on television? Oh, jokes. no jokes, no, no jokes. That's what I'm saying. But I've taken little tags. There was, I've taken a, I've taken a couple tags of my career. Okay, so I bet you could count on one hand though. I could

probably count on maybe, maybe one or two. Okay, and you've been doing comedy for fucking 25 years. I relax enough to age me. I don't feel like I feel all right. Yeah. You look great. Thanks. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's yeah.

You look good. Yeah. You look good, too. What are you doing? You're fucking. You're 48, dude. No, you're not. No, you're not.

48. Oh, you're reaching like a black guy. Sorry. I mean, I didn't mean. Is that all right? Is that all right? Well, who knows? It's all fucking this. It's all right. What is he going to do? Oh, it's all right. All of a sudden, I mean, come out. Well, who looked a black guy in you said, because of black, I just walk in the room and none of these fucking assholes told me who's coming in.

And because they didn't care about that, they just looked at him as an individual. What? I did tell you. You told me who someone was coming in. Yes. Tell me the website got. Yeah, but he is. He's. Oh, my God. I'm getting it. Come on. You have to do. You have to do another thing. I have to do the table tonight.

I went in and I did the village on the live from the comedy cell. Is Liz here? The comedy part. Can I finish what you asked me before you fucking ask another session? In the middle of the smoke. All right.

We get smoke. No, we can't. We're cutting it a little early tonight. Buddy, we're going to have a asked another question. I just asked you if you son of a dog was smoked. In the middle of the smoke. All right, we get smoked. No, we can't. We're cutting it a little early tonight, buddy. We're going to have a little puff puff. Okay, because I had one earlier because I had to kill six hours. I'll do it with you. All right. We'll do a little small one.

A little, but not, not bar. Yeah, what's the best knob you ever had? Uh, well, that's small. It's one you ever had. All right. Well, the, the fucking chocolate one there. Oh, you like to taste it? No, what was the one?

What? What was the one? I was trying to police you. I was just trying to say what you wanted. No, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry. You don't have to be sorry. What's wrong with you?

You mad that I'm not pleasing you? No, I'm never happy. No, I think we're both thinking hot tub right now. No, no, no. Why? Because you're not getting in the hot tub. You started a thing. Now you're talking about cigars, now you're talking about nubs.

What's the hot tub? The hot tub is you're got to do a thing at the seller. You started telling the story. So I did the thing at the seller. Now, I did the comedy part and now I gotta go do the table with Richard Bonnie. And last time we did the table with me, Richard Bonnie. Yeah.

Rich thought we were actually ganging up on him. Cause she would say something I'd laugh. I'd say something she laughed. She was just making me laugh. Bonnie makes me laugh. And then all of a sudden Rich was like, you guys, mediums are sick. We're all sick. He goes like this. He goes, you guys are fucking on tip with Mike. They're videotaping. This is on comedy. Fucking motherfuckers. You guys are fucking ganging up. Me and Bonnie goes, boo, a rich one. I go shut the fuck up. And I was just like, wow, I thought fuck, I go dude, we're being filmed. That wasn't real, wasn't when you said shut the fuck up.

Dude, I was fucking dying. I'm like, dude, is this the 50s? He's like, no, you guys are fucking ganging up on me. She's like, I'm not ganging up on you. And it was, I saw we're doing it again tonight. I'm sure she wrote him a bunch of stuff. I mean, that makes him funny, right? So dishonorable. Yeah, very dishonorable. But yeah, I got to do that tonight after.

I got a seller seller, Vegas. I got an audition tomorrow for a fucking TV show. Yeah, comedy seller Vegas. If you haven't, you bet. I got an audition tomorrow morning. Oh, yeah. What time? 12. Okay. I'll be fine. I me find a nice little quick one, too. Can I say something? Should we say something about David or no? Because I want to say some. I think if you want to say something, you should absolutely say some. First of all, we should tell people what happened. Okay. Can I do you mind? I would love it. Um, and I don't mean to bring it up. It's just that I, you said the TV show and I

wrapped a movie and I had an amazing, I had an amazing experience on this movie with Judd Apatow and I got my first big movie thing and it was good and then I got the news and I didn't want to post any pictures because I don't want to even talk about it. David Kimowitz, an amazing dude, one of the nicest dudes that I've met in the business. He managed myself for four and a half years. He managed Janus for seven Pete Davidson for three big J up until this horrific tragedy. He passed away to an unbelievably brutal situation taken from us in his home in Jersey over the weekend. And I just have to say that he, you know, a lot of times

when this shit happens, you hear like you hear the, oh my God, he was such a nice guy. How could it happen to him? Anybody could have tested his Bobby could have tested his anybody. A smile, nice, amazing. And I just want to say, I mean, I've talked about it on Legion of Skanks today. We're going to be talking about it a lot. And you know, the services are tomorrow. But I just want to say on YKWD because when I do this podcast, this podcast is so special to me and one of my favorites that when I travel all over the country, people come up to me and go, Hey, I don't only listen to you on the Verzi effect. I listen to you on Bobby's and I love you and Bobby together. So I just wanted to say that I'm there and I don't want to take up your

time for this because no, absolutely. I want you to know that it means a lot for me to say this on YKWD to him, but this was a huge blow. And when I got up on stage last night, people were getting up on stage talking. And I said, you know, I don't mean to be disrespectful to anybody else that had passed or to anybody else that had lost somebody and what they felt, but this one fucked me up to a point which was in another level. And this guy and I were in touch either on the phone

or via text for almost five years and he was brutally taken from us, you know, and whatever. But I just want to say dude, like his family is strong, we're going to the funeral tomorrow and it's just a brutal thing. And having Bobby and everybody there last night with my wife and Yannis and everybody there. It was a really heavy thing, but we're going to remember him and it's just a, it's just

a nightmare. But when his brother got on stage last night, his brother said, this doesn't define anything. He's, you know, the, the, the, the stand is going to go strong. We're going to go strong and we're going to go stronger for him. So, yeah, he's, uh, he was one of the nicest people. I, I, now every time I met him, he was always nice to me. He never gave me fucking weird industry attitude. He never fucking made me feel slided me.

Even in places he could have done it, Cause some of these people, you know, they're friendly to you when you're the most important person in the room, right? And then when you're not, they don't even fucking acknowledge you. They make you, they make you feel you're worth. Yeah. He never did that. He would come up to you in the middle of whatever. And be like, what's up, man? And talk to you. And if you said to him, hey,

you want to go get coffee, I believe he would. I believe in the middle of whatever. And be like, what's up, man? And talk to you. And if you said to him, hey, you want to go get coffee, I believe he would. I believe in the middle of fucking industry and Montreal. If I was like, dude, you want to go get coffee, and the one thing that I would say that it sucks that you do always learn from these tragedies, you learn about yourself and you learn about life a little bit, which sucks. This shit happens and that's the way you learn about life a little bit, which sucks. This shit happens and that's

the way you learn. But I learned that if you have somebody nice like this in your life, especially me, if I have people in my life that are nice like this, I want to pay them a little more attention. I want to just go get that cup of coffee once in a while. Not every time, just to go and say, I realized that I didn't have any Dave stories, because I never took the time to go and go, Dave, want to get a bite? Dave, you want to go get a cup of coffee? You know what I mean? He was one of the... And he loved you.

One of the nicest guys, every time I saw him, I was happy to see him. Anytime we talked, I was happy to talk to him. He was such a great guy. And I just wish that I, I just took that chance once in a while with him. I was like, hey, man, let's go take a walk. Something. Just something. If you have somebody nice in your let's go take a walk. Something, just something. If you have somebody nice in your life, somebody that's a good person, you should take that

minute, that 10 minutes, that 20 minutes half hour to go and experience them just a little bit, just a little bit of that person. Did he come with us to dims, did he come one time when we were in Montreal? We went to dims. It he come one time when we were in Montreal? It was. So, so, so Dave was a food. So if you were in fucking Austin, Texas for South by Southwest, Dave was like, dude, the best brisk it you've ever had. Dave knew like Dave could be in fucking somewhere in Montana and be like, yo, the best muffin. Oh, I'm not going to be like, yo, the best banana muffin is like up in the mountains. And this little fucking shack and we just got a hike for miles, but I'm telling you, it's like, that's what he was.

And one time he do you did come, well, he did come. Well, I had the dim, I'm the dim sum of the fuck. He is. And he, he heard about my dim sum points that we, I kept seeking and he had to go and I still keep it secret. Yeah. I'm telling you, we have a code. It's 11-11. People don't know. And who went that night? It was me, you, Italia, Kimowitz. And there was somebody

else who was it. No, it wasn't. It wasn't. Somebody else. It was another comment. And we sat at a big round table and they came out with fucking dumplings, dim sum. And we just sat there. And it was just like, but Dave was like this, hey, man, that was a great show. Dave would be the type of person to, and I joked about it. He would be the type of person that he would be like, hey, Verzy, dude, I got you on this late night audition. And he'd sit next to the booker. And after I hit a punch, he'd go like, right? Right? Like that's who he was. That's a good manager, dude. He was a great manager.

He was always, he was always for the comedy. If you like, hey, man, was that too offensive? He'd be like, fuck that. If they don't like it, dude, I like it. And it's real. And that's who he was. He loved Bobby. He loved, he loved real motherfuckers who said what it was. And there was never anything wrong. And the way that he was taken it, but it took me a long time to wrap my head around it because and I've said this everywhere and I don't need to be repetitive, but you die of a heart attack, I get it. You die of an illness, I get it. When you die of a senseless awful thing like that and you get taken like that, you know,

it's so hard to wrap your head around and I was in my house, tell it my wife, I go, I just can't make say and she goes, Paul, because you can't like, I'm one of those guys. I just want to put the puzzle together and go, okay, you know, it's like, if you find out like, yeah, man, so and so happen, but I heard he was dealing fucking smack out of his, then you're like, but there was not with this guy. There was not with this guy. And I want to say something right now because I know some people on fucking red,

it said this, it has already been proven. It's not the guy that he was. He 1000% it's been proven and I'm going to fucking say it everywhere. I can. He had no absolutely zero relations with his nanny. It's been proven that he has not. She was a liven nanny and the boyfriend used to come that piece of shit who did this used to come all the time. He did nothing like that. He came back from patric, Patrick, Patrick Milligan's birthday party. And that's what it was. So fucking, don't invite these fucking people in your house. If a nanny has a, I don't give a fuck who there. Keep your life separate. Yes. Your nanny is a business person. They're an employee. Don't invite their fucking friends and their shitty boyfriends. Keep them the fuck away from your family. Your family is your family.

Have boundaries. Don't let these people know. I fucking it. It annoys me so much that this piece of shit, I, I wish. This is why they say the death penalty we shouldn't have it. No, we should. And I feel like it should be worse. I feel like it should be like in other countries where we could just cut his head off and throw it in a bucket and walk away from the trash can. That's what I feel like with this piece of shit. Two girls, a wife. Two, oh, you motherfucker. No, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, you, you, you fucking pussy with a knife. You couldn't have just hit him. Well, it's mad. You afraid you might get your ass kicked? Oh, I'm so I can't stand it. I can't stand it. You can't make sense of that because it makes you want to become a vigilante. It makes you want

to go get this motherfucker. It makes you want to go find him and, you know, and take care of it. I'm sick. You know, nah, I know, I know exactly what you mean. And it's like, it's hard for me to wrap my head around that. It makes me sick that that's somebody's son. I have my kid. It's like, what happened? Yeah. Like, what the fuck did you do? What didn't you do? There's a mom and a father somewhere. What happened? Did you know, is he mental illness? Did you love him? Do you give a fuck? What happened to this kid that he went and took somebody else's dad away? What the fuck happened to? I have a little boy. You have a little boy. I couldn't imagine what the fuck you didn't do to eat with them and know them.

He ate with them and stayed there. David had them over for past. David had him over for past over and all that. But you know what it is, man? It's one of those things where it's like they called them face value, Dave. And that's who he was. He was a type of guy where he would go, Oh, you want your boyfriend to come and eat? Well, you know what? You're my nanny and I love you. And that's who it is. And you know what? That's just who he was. He wasn't somebody to go. I need to fucking know this guy. I need he, that's just who he, he was just like, you know what, it's just Dave was a type of guy that it was all smiles and happy and let's have a good time. And that's how I'm going to fucking remember him. And I want everybody to know that somebody said something. I want to make sure I get I think it might have been Rebecca Trench from the from

the cave. What's the prec in the cave? She goes, when a comedian dies, you could see their clips. When a comedian dies, you could, you could, you could see their history. Yeah. This guy you can't. So it needs to be known that this guy allowed us this guy a la, when you performed at the stand and you bombed, it wasn't like, Hey, man, don't book him next week. It was him and Patrick laughing going, Hey, dude, verse, you must be trying a new bit

or somebody must be trying a new bit, but they're trying to grow and get better. And he loved it. And he'll go to a diner with you at one 30 in the morning, after you did two sets there, and one didn't go well and talk to you about it and laugh. That's who he was. And that's the memory that people need to have. And it took me a long time to realize that he's not coming back and there's nothing I can do.

But what I'm going to do is live the way he lived, you know, he helped me get started. And I'm going to finish what he helped me start. And you know what? When I'm in a fucking city, I'm going to go eat the best fucking rib that fucking Missouri has to offer because Lord knows he'd fucking know it. And he would be there. But I'm sick and buy it. And his wife said something and big J said this

on the league, uh, Legionist gang today. And, and I want to say it again, she goes, the one thing we're afraid of is we just don't want Dave's name to be out of comedy or him to be away from this anymore. And I said, that's never, ever going to happen. So you guys have to know if you're listening to the YKWD and I know if you are, you're a dope ass comedy fan because you guys come up to me. I know that just know that David Kimowitz was for us. He was with us. He was a comedy first. And that's what it was.

It was the joke. He didn't give a fuck about industry. He was about you first. So I just wanted to say that I want to bring that up. Rest in peace, Dave Kimowitz, you're the best. We love you. We're going to the service tomorrow. And you and your girls will, we'll make sure that you're all taken care of. Yes. Yeah. Good share.

I, I, I really, he was one of the good guys and he's definitely going to be missed. So all right. Let's wrap it up. That was beautifully said, brother. That was beautifully said. And I don't want to. Oh, no, thank you. Yeah. I'm, thanks for letting, thanks for, for, you know, this is a lot of people don't know that because they don't hear from the inside shit. They, they, they see a report going comedy club owner killed and they don't fucking understand what was behind that. So it's nice for people to know. Yeah. He got it. It's just a, it's just a sucky thing. It just makes me sick to my stomach. Yeah.

Because you know, I, when you have a kid and you're thinking, you kid not growing up with you, if I think of my little max, you're not growing up with me, it's like, not fucker. No, you can't. And if I think, you know, look, man, I got fucking nine knives in fucking weapons all over my house. Every fucking door.

Well, you got a new dog now. So fuck you, the dog's not gonna do nothing. I know you should have got the hundred and ten. Fuck you, dog. I'm not going to return this fucking thing. Should I return it? No, you should have returned, but get the big one. I'm not getting to.

I'm going to get all this. If you had a fuck any and a reg, I don't want a reg. Why? A stand. Just stand there. It's not a reg. I might get one. I loved it. But if you're

gonna get mad at me now, because I'm gonna fucking bullshit if you get a fucker. If I got a standard, you'd come on here, but you know, I verzy, that's the thing. I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna put with slutty. I'm gonna be honest, I'm gonna get a shepherd. I'm gonna get a full-fledged black shepherd with my arms not coming up with you got a full, you got two attack dogs. I'm not coming to your house anymore, right? I got a fucking little tiny mini burn a doodle. We're not coming up to the verisies if you get a fucking blue eyed shepherd. A fucking night stalker. Oh, I'm a fucking do it. You hear that? A mile before your house. Oh, no, Bobby pull up. He's nice. Yeah, nice. Oh, fuck. I had to go to my friend's house, and that's the worst.

The dog, I went to my friend's house this weekend, and they had one of those dogs that bites people. And they're like, no, no, no, he's good. He's going, eh. And so I'm like, so I walk in the house, and every episode of fucking stupid season my lawns running through my head, trying to think of what Justin told me over the years.

I'm just, you know, waiting for this fucking, he goes, no, he's only bit this guy. Oh, he bit that guy in the face. He, he bit Henry Danger. You have to see the show Henry Danger? No. On Nickelodeon? You don't watch Henry Danger?

No. Wow. Well, my kids older than your kids, that's probably not, oh wait, how old is Max? He's six. Okay, so Sophie seven. So what's Max Danger? Henry Danger. Oh, not Max, my kids older than your kids, that's probably not, oh, wait, how old is Max? He's six. Okay. So Sophie seven. So what's Max danger? Henry danger. Oh, not Max. My Max is Max. What's Henry danger? It's one of the funniest kid shows ever. It's on now. See the star. That kid got bitten

the chin by this dog. I don't know. I'm right. I'm a right. The good looking kid. Yeah. Got bitten the chin by this dog. I'm sitting like fucking Christ. That's why where's the mask now? Anyway. Fuck that buddy. Does your, well, your dog, you don't know this yet, but if the pizza guy comes with a Chinese food guy comes and knocks, is that, is that dog with the mix with the puddle going to go or no? They don't bark, man. They don't you walk? Hang on, hang on a second. They bark if someone's coming at like late at night, right? The bark, but they're not a fey emerying. I don't like barkers. Oh, yeah. I don't like person that's go shut up. The dog should know not to

fucking bark. If you say enough, you should train your dog enough to where you go, you go enough, but a German, they stop. Now, but here's a thing, dude. If you have a pure, if you have a pure bread, German Shepherd, they actually, like, so your house is you, Dawn and Max. Yes. So let's say Dawn's family or your family comes. Yes. And you're like, this is it. The dog will eventually know, but it's still looking at him.

Like that's a German Shepherd. I don't like that. Nobody likes that. It's not 1943. Okay. Nobody wants that. You might not 1943. Okay. Nobody wants that. You might be nobody wants to sit in a chair like this on Thanksgiving because you decided to get a night stalker. No, my mother-in-law goes, guys, if you get a German shepherd, I don't know if I could come over because they look at people and make them uncomfortable

and I go, yeah. All right, what are my dates? Wow, look at it. Is that the one you get in the black one? I want the black one, yeah. Could you imagine that thing sitting in the front? I shoot it. I did like there's a wolf in your backyard. I'm taking it out right now.

Look at that. Go ahead, gorgeous. It's gorgeous, but dude, fuck that. Yeah, but what's ever hurt in your family? What's, look at, if that is sitting in your front yard, what is hurting your loved ones? What is hurting your family? You live in the fucking woods. What's coming up to your house for 30 minutes from the highway?

Nobody's robbing you. All right, well. All right, let's go. What do I got? I want to thank, first of all, my team being back, good to see you guys. I haven't seen you in so long. Hi Bobby. I missed you guys.

Zach. All right. Lab, we'll get the team. We're back. We're back into the. She's over there. She's like, what can I go? Sit up here. Why'd you sit over there on the whole show? Should've just sat there. All right. You weirdo. I'm gonna All right, you weirdo. You want therapy too? Listen. All right, well, thank you guys for coming. Dude, what's your name again? McComb. McComb. Yeah. All right, we're going to talk after the show for a second. All right, dude, lose the attitude. I bring you confidence down just to hair, all right. So we can have a conversation. All right. Anyways, where's my dates? Oh, fat black pussy cats coming up next Wednesday,

the slip of room. I'm doing this in one is that Michael the 15th. Yes, Thursday. I believe Colin Quinn's coming to that. Oh, nice. Fat black pussy cat, fat black pussy cat. And then sides footers and September go to robbercadelive.com. And, and then the tour starts, man, we get the tour. Crucia kids are starting in October. Get your tickets now. Reading Pennsylvania, get your shit together. God, I would love to be on that. Really? What? No, no, I'm joking. No, you don't, you're headlining. No, no, no, no, I'm joking. I was joking. But if you, if you, if listen, I'll say this, I am headlining, but if you get a dropout, you call me for that.

Okay, great. You would have done this. Yeah, let's get rid of us. I mean, get rid of quarantine. He's dead weight. I got a fan base. Yeah. So, Reading Pennsylvania is the first show that is Friday, October 18th, and the tour starts. We just added two more dates.

We're going into 2020. It is going to be the fucking comedy tour of the year. I'm telling you right now, creepsarekids.com, get your tickets now. What else, Michael? How was the show at JFL? JFL was fucking awesome. I watched it. So you saw it?

Yeah, it was great. It was a good show, right? It was unbelievable. Sold out, packed up, loved loved it club soda too. We were supposed to do the Cleopatra smaller room. It was packed up club soda loved it. Nobody's better than those guys. Yeah, I fucking murdered. I murdered close. I know Jessica. Jessica went up last year. She went off for some kids. Yeah, she murdered. Yeah, she's got four kids. Oh, so, so I wasn't invited to that. Yeah, I mean, I thought you guys know this is what you and fucking Bennington. I don't know, you're going to throw Jessica. No, because because she was up there and they wouldn't bring

Florentine. Florentine, Vos and Bennington were up at the festival. So it just made sense. Oh, you, Florentine wasn't what you? Florentine, they wouldn't Bennington were up at the festival. So it just made sense. Oh, you, Florentine wasn't what you? Florentine, they wouldn't bring up because he wasn't in the festival, he didn't get invited this year. So that I was like, he would fly himself up. They're like, we don't want people just who aren't in the festival being on shows in the festival because then people can just come up here and be on shows and that's what we can't do.

So I told Florentine's manager, you need to take care of it and never happen. I got blamed for it probably a lot, but Florence team's fine. I'm fine, I understand. I got it. No, it makes sense. Nobody cares.

Nobody cares. Nobody wants to have my Jessica Otter. You can't fork it. Just let it get. You know, I love this, my favorite thing about you is nobody wants to hear Madonna half time. That's great, Jim. Yeah.

ACDC every time. Yeah. Wow. Whoa. Yeah, no, that's what, that's every time. Yeah. Wow. Whoa. Yeah, no, that's what that's the one I got. That's a good one, man. Um, so anyway, fucking brutal. Yeah, he's got.

Wow. We definitely if he drops out, we'll have you replace Lord. You ever do people fucking Bobby. I love them. That's fucking great. Uh, Versi, what do you got, kid? I will be headlining the Pittsburgh, uh, Pittsburgh improv, the August 15th through the 17th. And then I got some funny bones added. I think, yeah, I'll be in Albany and, and then I'm my favorite club to headline.

I'll be a Gotham comedy club headline in September 27th and 28th, two shows Friday, two shows Saturday, love the club. It was packed out last year. I want to have it even more this year. So come out to those and you could check all the other dates at Paul Verzi.com and check out my podcast, the Verzi effect. But thing, and we got announce me coming up soon with you with riot cast.

Yes, we do. So and it's going to be, it's going to be. Oh, and I just got the, I just got the artwork. So it's going to be epic. So stay tuned for a little fucking surprise. Riot cast is jumping off this year and one of the shows, hmm, I'm going to thank you. Oh, yeah.

I got a fuck. And my, my, my, I love you so much. You make me laugh so much. Me? Yes. Why do you have self-esteem issues? Well, I'm not. That's how you do it.

It's just better. Okay. It's easier. Better than being like arrogant, right? Yeah, I'm gonna go, oh, thanks. I do. No. I hate myself.

It's just easier to go to. What do you got, man, besides a fake last name? And no self-esteem. Yeah. I would just say check it out. And a big schnauz. What do you got, man, besides a fake last name? And no self-esteem. I would just say check out. And a big snows. I just want to take the time to just express how much I know and love Tom Celetti. You should check out my podcast, the red dude cast, if you have more time, but you get

why you wouldn't. But I'm kidding. It's great. One of the fun. Listen, man, I've had a lot of people on the show and't. But I'm kidding. It's great. Listen, man, I've had a lot of people on the show and I fucking I love every time you're on, it's always a home run. Oh, thanks.

Really? You're fucking funny, man. You're great, man. You know, I love you. You're fucking so vulnerable. You're so fucking funny. And the last time we talked about sticking the dildo in your ass, that was funny. All right. Anyways, Mike, what do you right, anyways, Mike, what do you got?

Mike, what do you got? You can follow me on Instagram at MikeFaceWorris. I'll be on Uncle Vinnie's the end of the month with Rich Voss and have a podcast coming out called Yikes Baby. So. Versus what? Is my favorite thing in the world? Back what do you got? I'm a photographer of comedians at Human Places the Ease of Three. I say that one more time.

Oh, sorry. I'm a photographer of comedians. You can catch me on Instagram at Human Places the Ease of Three. And also, oh, remember to be happy.com. You mean my t-shirt shop that with you for the merch that I make for this podcast. Yes. Yeah, she makes me mumbling will merge with this guy over here. Chrissy, what you got, baby?

Yeah. At not that chiny on social media, not that chiny.com, like you said, I'm a designer. I'll make you something if you pay it, pay me, do it, make whatever you want. And then, yeah, I mean, back you got the merch stuff. Fat fit. I mean, I'm believable designer, I'll make you something if you pay it, pay me, do it, make whatever you want. And then, yeah, I mean, back you got the merch stuff. Fat, fat, I mean, unbelievable designer, man. He did the merch shit. Yeah, they did our stuff. Both of those great, they're fucking great.

So if you need something done, teach us some. And you just sneak your head. You know, kid knows snakes. I'm not a big fan of sneaker heads. Oh, you know what I like though? I'm not. I don't fucking appreciate it. You know what I like?

I got plenty of fasciitis because I was trying to keep up with you, fucks. Yeah, but you're one of the nighties. You never had, you never had plant the fasciitis with those red fucking herachies on, did you? Yes, I did, that's how I got it. Because they're fucking small, Nike makes small. I'm trying to be a sneakerhead with you, fucks. I get herachies and then my fucking foot fucked up.

Now I can't walk. What's up? What's up? What's up, what's up, Zio? Now I'm, where I'm 10. All right, I got you. You got nothing. I got fuck, I got fucking plant a fas you? Now I'm where I'm 10. All right, I got you. You got nothing. I got fucking plan a fetch. I ain't just, I got to wear new balance.

Why new balance again? I just said I got you. That man I was going to take care of it. And you just said, no, you know, take care of it. Yeah, I got it. That's what I do. I do what he does. I say no.

And then that I make you say twice. Yeah. I mean, you too hate love. Yeah. I'd never seen anything like it. I go, I got you. You go, well, not the fuck that you got. I'm trying to say that. But you meant it. That's what I got. No, I've never seen anything like it. I go, I got you, you go, well, not the fuck that you got. I'm trying to say that.

But you meant it. That's what I got. No, I meant, please help me. I meant please help me. By the way, what is planter officiitis? It's not officiitis. You fucking wop. It's planter.

Why? I don't have a saying. No, yeah, you don't have it. So what is it? Plantafasciitis. Plantafasciitis. What is it? That's an inflammation of the fibres tissue along the bottom of your foot that connects your heel bone to your toes. Bingo.

So yeah, I love a lot of people. And a Nike Hirachi did that. Yes, they're too thin and small. They fuck up. What do you need? I need, I need, I need, I need fucking old guy. Bring me two pounds. Those duct tapes. I love people tuned out after the after the plugs. And they're missing all this great. My fans never tune out.

They know that I have the plugs keep going to the end. I'm right. The funniest shit said at the plugs in between that way. If you tune out, you lose that's yeah. And the thumbs down people fucking dying. How's that? I hope you're dying people fucking dying. How's that? I hope you're dying a fucking alley.

Yeah, I hope your dog dies next to you. How great you die. How great is the New York comedy scene? The New York comedy scene. No, I'm serious. Going through this tragedy. We're going through the way these the way we come together. I'm not talking.

I'm not trying to go. I'm not saying anything bad about the West Coast. Yeah, you are. But I'm just saying the way that we come together, man, New York is the best. So we are the best. Bingo. There you go. We can end it. Mike, what do you got? We're gonna end it. I'm gonna do fucking Michael. You didn't already. Yeah. Mike 2.0 at my cabrurcy on Twitter and Instagram. And I got a podcast called a little time that you can listen to. What's your story? What's my story? What do you mean?

Game merchant marine. Yeah, he's doing this between gigs. What else do you do? Stand up. Yeah. Yeah. What do you mean? Game merchant marine.

He's the merchant marine. He's gay. He travels a season and he does this for me when he's back in it. What do you go on? You go on a boat? Boat train wherever. Wait a minute. You're not gay.

No, because we've had this conversation. Oh, I love you. You're not gay. You are minute, you're not gay. No, because we've had this conversation. I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I'm not. I'm all doors open. You're gay. No, I'm all doors open. What's that mean? Oh shit. I like, I'll take a taste. I wait till something I like comes to the door. Wait, man, aren't you? I am married. We are done. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I do. I do. I do my sexual kid. No, I closed, I've never met a man I want to fuck, but the door's open. If he comes in and I see one, I'll check him out. I just haven't yet yet. You met Bobby though.

I met Bobby. I mean, he's kind of the most my type I've met so far, but we're just not there yet. Well, you came in to me, I mean, I was just fucking bang. I had a wine. I had a fucking pela greeno. I was fucking, I was start a styrical effort and then puke. I don't know. Oh, you're one of those.

But I don't know, but I don't know which order. Yeah. Zach, what do you got, baby? Zach, then you get. You guys are the best fans in the fucking world. I'm back. You're back. We're all back.

YKWDC next week. Bye. I know. You're back, we're all free. And they're all free.