Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Tots on Reg

Episode Date: March 27, 2017

This week on YKWD: We have guests 'The Truth' Joe List, 'J-Train' Jared Freid, Chris Scopo, and Jason Chatfield! We have Comedy Cellar Manager Liz sit in as well! We touch on Joe's anxiety and J-Train... breaks down the millennial way to abbreviate almost any word. Yuck. We catch up with Scopo and Bobby shares his SXSW rickshaw story. We end up having a serious debate because Scopo doesn't know what a rickshaw is!  Watch / Listen and Enjoy! RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network Riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. It's gonna be a clutch to fire. It's fucking crazy. No rules. You're the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said should I regret? Can I get a mic or something?
Starting point is 00:00:21 Oh, fuck the fuck. That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's having no topics no directions. I love doing it sides of the coin Daydying my podcast is popular. I might affect somebody's life. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast on whitecast.com. Yeah. So I'm, hey, I'm back.
Starting point is 00:01:01 Back in the fucking world, win, tour. I think in my fucking belly, I'm so fat, I think my belly button, like literally popped. I did some, anyways, I'll explain it to you. You should get that look, that. There's the wall of my belly button gave in. I don't know what that means. That means the wall of my belly button said, ah, fuck it.
Starting point is 00:01:24 And literally, you know the wrinkle of your belly button. So you had an in and now you have an outie. I have a side outie. Side of it is hot. That's awful. Yeah, that's awful. Doesn't sound healthy. It doesn't sound, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:01:34 I'm back on today. No sugar no grins. So let's move on. Shall we? Because I feel good in this denim shirt. You look great. I was going to say, really. I noticed it right away.
Starting point is 00:01:43 And you made the right choice by wearing black pants. The black pants. Black pants. And I have no use of kicks. I'm gonna say really I noticed it right away and you made the right choice by wearing black the black with it black pants and I have news Kitchen, um, okay, oh they're cool. Yeah, I know. Let's them slip on I got a slip on Slippons are so punk rock fuck yeah slip on All right, here's a deal. Christy cello is here. She's gonna go, but you just wrapped up your brand new show that we have here on Riotcast. It's called Talking Funny with Christy Chelo.
Starting point is 00:02:15 It's, if you ask why, why is it talking funny? You're a moron. You're just the stupidest person ever. I'm so excited. Thank you for, it's such a thrill to be doing a podcast on Ryke had. Here's a deal. I'm like literally so excited about it. I had a couple of people go do it. Her fucking voice bugs the shit out of me.
Starting point is 00:02:36 Oh yeah. And then they go, but I can't stop listening. Yeah, it's a joke. It's a joke, you know. That's great. Honestly, thank you. The cute city or the street face. It's a jack-of-yeah, it's great honestly. Thank you Of course we have lizz is here for the pre-show Just plain old Liz the motherfucker I call her
Starting point is 00:02:58 Always smells like she just came out of a soapy bath Daily smelly smelly you My I smell it. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad.
Starting point is 00:03:11 It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad.
Starting point is 00:03:19 It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. It smells like a salad. I'm very greasy Italian and I just wonder why I have a good haircare product I wonder why you fucking salami plus I just wanted to say salami plus That was her screen name in middle school
Starting point is 00:03:35 So funny I didn't have screen names when I was in middle school I'm old So for the A-D-D-D That was her screen name when she was in France Grey I know what mine was? Party girl. Oh my god. That's so dumb. I do not even know that again. Yeah, you wonder why you divorced. You're divorced before you're 30.
Starting point is 00:03:53 Well, it was just screening party girl. I'm divorced. I live with my mother. I'm 42. I'm my name's Lauren. I used to produce podcasts. That's not sad. I'm my name's Laura. I use to produce a podcast Well, deep who is deep who is not here today? He's gone for the We don't know we're working it out. I don't know. We're doing great. The show We have a great show today that got who's on the show? We had Joe Liss, Annie, Liedermann, and Jason Chaffiel. Yeah, now we have Jason Chaffiel. Fuckin' Annie is something she got an audition.
Starting point is 00:04:33 But Jay Trayne's got it. But don't ever, ever. Jay Trayne. You're too much. You're too much. Jay Trayne. You're too much. I will turn everybody's mind off. All your twats. I will shut your mics off
Starting point is 00:04:48 Fuck the J. Oh, of course J. Train's coming. I love I actually a big fondness for him He's very funny very cool. He's such a good hang. I love he's a great hang I mean his his hips. He has the body of a date rapist. Oh, no I didn't say he was fat. I'm just saying that he had that yeah, no, he's a nice. I get it. You know, a room full of women would never get a date rape joke. He is that dude. He really is that dude. He's like young a rubeur. Right. He's a good looking watch. Oh, that's something. I know, but I'm kidding. You see, it is. He'll get it. I'll never go back. Yeah, you said you
Starting point is 00:05:27 You said I wasn't that good looking. I'm not gonna bring you back to a room. Oh, I would I I wouldn't see rovers Never gonna see again. I'll pay for my own trip you cocksucker Yeah, Jay train is saving the day. Yes coming in today. So I'm very happy to have him on very funny the day coming in today. So I'm very happy to have him on very funny, very passionate. It's got a great Facebook live show that Lauren helps produce that and Jim CERPORCO and him put together the Bachelor after show. The Bachelor post game show. And it's very funny. It's just how serious he takes it. Oh, he is an amazing machine. Like, you can literally, I don't watch the show, so I have no idea, but like his show or the bachelor. But he live tweets through this thing.
Starting point is 00:06:14 He had one, he had one guest on from TV guide who was like literally giving him the behind the scene. That was a good episode. He's crazy. Here's what's great about it though, is that they've got it down so good now that it's almost, it's pretty much a TV show. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:30 On Facebook, from the Apostle Studios offices, for free. Yeah. It's a great time. I wish they did one. I wish they did one for like the walking dead. It's for the driver. Like if they did it out, I'm kidding, they do. They do.
Starting point is 00:06:47 They made a survivor. That's what we got. We got so nice to be here. We know what we do. We like that. Happy Cray. Yeah. J Train also has a great podcast as well.
Starting point is 00:06:56 Yeah, but it's not on this network. It's not. So fuck that podcast. Exactly. My podcast. Yeah, talk. I'm being funny with Chris Coutilla. I'm funny with Chris Coutilla. And it's doing great. Thank you. I'm really excited. Do you love it?
Starting point is 00:07:08 Love it. How are the fans? Talk to me. What's going on? It's been awesome. It's been really I didn't realize I don't even want to say this but like how hard podcasting is. Yes, it is. It's not just you know I think when it's really good, it just sounds like a hang. Yeah. But I, Lauren and I were, we got in the studio and we practiced a lot. You guys worked your ass off.
Starting point is 00:07:33 And a lot of friends come in here, and we recorded a bunch that, you know, were great practice, but it took me a while to get the hang of sitting in the chair, you're sitting in, and having to carry an hour of, yeah. because you got to know when to let somebody talk when you get to pick it up when something happens. Yeah. And it's it's it's it but you did a lot of what you worked your at both of you guys worked your ass off the shows on the air and it's doing great. It's doing great. Thank you for all the people who have listened
Starting point is 00:08:00 and people who write reviews. He was really good. Who's the guest this week? This week we're, well, we're gonna see. We're recording one tomorrow night. We recorded some earlier and we don't know. We're gonna double. We're gonna start doubling it up because what I'm realizing is, you know, we recorded one and I just wasn't so happy with it.
Starting point is 00:08:20 And I think it being so new, I don't wanna put anything out of it. Can I think it being so new, I don't want to put anything out of it. Can I give you some advice? Please. I want you to quit the business. No, I'm kidding. Oh my God. You imagine? No, Baba. This is how you told me. I'm kidding. I heard. I guess. You guys, you're out. You got sarcasm like the Dutch. Listen. I'm just so sensitive today. Listen, Bubba You should let the you should put some of these ones that you think are bad or you think might not be up to par Put one of those out let the fans decide because you know, you have more your fans aren't all the same exact
Starting point is 00:08:59 Person and some fans might like this one some fans might like that I have fans that only listen when it's the regulars. I have fans that listen when it's more serious. I have fans that like it when it's really fast and ball busty. You know, the and a show isn't always the same exact vibe. Sometimes you have a show that you're like, yeah, that was, was that okay? You don't know. And you put it out and people like that show was great.
Starting point is 00:09:23 I love that it was a little different than you regular show. You might try it. Say, look, it might stink. Your instincts might be right. And people might be like, that show sucked. But at least you know, at least you then really have a barometer as to what people are going to love and what they're not. You can't keep it in your head.
Starting point is 00:09:38 You got to put it out. Just put it out. I think I felt like pressure because I feel like the thing with difference with a Bobby, everyone knows you, you know, you've been doing this for a long, long time. I got, I get a little in my head because people don't know me, and I feel like this is a first impression.
Starting point is 00:09:55 Sort of, so I think I'm putting a little bit more pressure where I have to still remember, I'm not, you know, I'm new at this. I'm not gonna, it's like, stand up, I'm not just gonna start and be great. I'm still growing and learning. Yeah, absolutely. So I think that's a good advice.
Starting point is 00:10:09 I appreciate that. Just not be. Have fun. Relax. I just start crying. If you just start crying right now, if I made you cry, that would make me so happy. Why?
Starting point is 00:10:20 That would be the intro to all my show for now. It's like, you never, you're changing lives. Really? You never know. It's like you never, you're changing lives really you never know and then you're going How you having a bad day? Yes a little bit. I'm having like a sensitive take it off my coat. Please do oh my god Not having She has no to I mean just one even she just leaned over me, I like moved out. There was not one, I couldn't even touch her nipple.
Starting point is 00:10:48 It's like, she has not one ounce of titty. I see Lauren's blue lips. Actually, she gave me a collar. Nick's cute. The last thing, if you ever saw my penis and called the cute, I would die. Is that, oh, Bobby's got a cute penis. Look at my nip match. This is a conference.
Starting point is 00:11:04 So it works. What do you say? You have no nip pulls matches to side. Really good bra. I don't know. Keep it moving. Lauren, please. This is, I'm moving.
Starting point is 00:11:15 Why are we doing this? The fact that I have a whole, all women right now. There's so much vagina. Do you understand the shit I'm gonna get? Yep. I've lost 20% of my fucking relationship. Bye. Every, ah!
Starting point is 00:11:29 Well, Jay Tray! Do, do! Oh, we good. Let me text the same part. Please. I need some fucking alpha dick in here now. All right, so back to your boobs. I mean, back to your story.
Starting point is 00:11:43 Well, it's just, yeah, a little bit of a rough time. What happened, what happened? I hate that I feel this, I'm very positive in this business. And I don't like to make comparisons, but I'm having just an off day, right? You know, a couple good friends. Got stuff. Yeah, and stuff that I want,
Starting point is 00:12:04 and I thought I could have gotten a few disappointments today. Listen, that sucks. That sucks, but it teaches you how to deal with the disappointment that is going to happen over and over again in this business. You know, when it's great, it's dreams come true. When it's bad, it's fucking, it's nightmares, it won't, it won't you.
Starting point is 00:12:28 And it feels like shit. You know, you're playing high stakes now. Yeah. You're playing high stakes, you're in the game. You're at the table. And when you win, you win, when you lose, you lose, and it hurts. But you know, it's just part of it. That's all.
Starting point is 00:12:41 You have to be able to feel it. It stinks. Go through whatever you have to eat, whatever you have to eat. Yeah. Fucking bang, whatever you have to bang, whatever you have to do. Yeah. It's okay. But get the fuck out of it as soon as possible and get back on the horse. Because that's not yours. I know. You don't have to worry because in reality, it doesn't matter. It doesn't. They got that. got that that's you this is yours over here. I know yeah You're so right. You're so right. You're gonna keep reminding myself of that. Yeah, I'll just get out of the business Working to traffic when I leave the studio Please don't walk right don't walk on traffic do not because there's not enough traffic around here
Starting point is 00:13:21 That will kill you. You'll just get hurt You've got all the way to the west side highway. Yeah, it's just third in McDougal. You will not die. I'm kind of afraid of you. That's far. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Walk over. Yeah, exactly. West Side Highway. That's actually not even there because they have somebody like to do the east side. East Side.
Starting point is 00:13:37 Oh, yeah. Hold on. Let me write this down. Yeah. You could just jump in the river. It's probably still cold enough. I would do the river. You're support, guys. No, there's no. Thanks for having me. No, there's no having me
Starting point is 00:13:54 No, I mean look it sucks because you feel bad twice about you feel bad about not getting to be feel bad about feeling something about your friends You should be happy for these people And you're like fuck you are a bad person Yeah, but if one of them just fell out of an helicopter and they called you immediately, go, hey, can you fill in? You be like, yes. I'll be there. I'm already here. Yeah, behind you.
Starting point is 00:14:10 I pushed her. Yeah. Well, I hope you have it. What are you gonna do for the rest of the day? I'm gonna go and call my manager. I have a manager now, so. Oh, are you excited? Just flip your hair, because you're a manager. Well, I wait my whole life to say that. Who's your manager?
Starting point is 00:14:28 Chris Burns Uh with what's up? Oh, that's big. I really? I have no idea who's But it sounds big, right? Isn't that a food store? Yeah, yeah, I think that's a G. Where this IGA. That's IGA What's up? What's going on? What's up? Are you guys? Look at this Chris go bow Jason chatfield And then some random fucking who the fuck is that good looking guy? Why is he wearing a suit?
Starting point is 00:15:05 Yeah, who's this guy? Hey guys. Oh, fan of the show. All right, I thought you just ran up. She just picked up guys. He's just go. Oh, he's definitely a fan. Oh, it's hilarious.
Starting point is 00:15:17 All right, wow. What a fucking. Bobby, I love you. I love you too. I'm fucking out by you guys. Bye, Mama. Take care. I know.
Starting point is 00:15:24 Bye, Chris. Jason, go over here. Jason comes in my seat you too. I'm talking out by you Jason go over here I love you Bob keep you head up. All right stay away from the West side. I'm sorry next time you around me though Where's something? Less revealing no because I I've seen them there. I know they're amazing. I've seen them too I've seen them there. I know they're amazing. I've seen them too. No, I'm staring at Lauren's boobs like why They're really not bad. Just sit down. Can we move on some titties? This is just a cluster fuck we're on my the show starting all right, Jason. I saw you put your hands on let's get I'm probably happy to see scopo. It's not trying to give it. Sorry Christy, stop trying to get him. We were gonna listen. She's trying to steal my fans.
Starting point is 00:16:07 That keeps finding me with Christy. All right, there we go. All right, let's go through this. We have Jay Trayne showing up, too, thank God. And this show was supposed to be. Yeah. Show list. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:16:20 Good. Annie. Letterman. Letterman. And Jason. Right. That was the show. Annie, oneman. Letterman. And Jason. Right. That was the show. Annie, one of getting an audition,
Starting point is 00:16:29 and had to work with somebody. There was a lot of stuff in there. A lot of excuses. I don't, you know, you don't know it. So hopefully she, you know, she gets it. That would joke. Hopefully. Joe, he had a, had a, a tooth problem.
Starting point is 00:16:43 He's had that for a while. Not at least. Now she's actually teased. That was a throat problem. He said that for a while Not at least. Actually, that was a throat problem. He really does have fucking I he goes I'm trying to get out of here. I go you he goes. I'm trying to get out of here as quick as possible. I go your teeth So fucking three-hour Joe you walking with that mouth that this is gonna go. All right. You're gonna go in this room There's a special back room He goes I got to get x-rays that going to take 24 hours to fucking get those teeth. But he's supposed to be showing up, but she's probably not. But we got J-Train coming.
Starting point is 00:17:12 It's going to be a good show. Liz is, I made her fuck you, you're staying until J-Train. So J-Train comes. That's it. J-Train can tap out with J-Train. All right, so we got Chris Scopo, Jason Chaffield Liz We got a fan on the couch. Yeah, what's up buddy? What's your name?
Starting point is 00:17:29 I'm orcon who What's your name or Okay, is that your name? What what is that your voice? I'm sorry. What the why do I? Azerbaijan in Brooklyn, where is this? Where is Azerbaijan? East what what is is it? Is it Italy? What is it? Are you a terrorist what's going on? I'm trying to be an exotic terrorist. He's like Russian. My name is a Chicago, and I'm from Usha
Starting point is 00:18:01 I'm about Sean on his hiding out of Where the fuck are you from? I ran? Talk to me. It's right next to Armenia. And right next to the Oshanon. Armenia. So what do you consider yourself? I'm a Zuri. Zuri.
Starting point is 00:18:13 A Zuri. I've never heard of you. Why is he wearing a Zuri? Why is he wearing a Zuri? What do you do for work? I'm a medical student. A medical student. A medical student?
Starting point is 00:18:22 He's a spy. What kind of doctor? A good one, but I don't care. You don't care, foot. No, He's a spy. What kind of doctor? You don't care foot No, that's a diet runner. How about dick? That's urology. No, thank you. Okay. So what what kind of doctor? I have a Fag loser. Yeah, pussy such a fucking pussy answer Kid this is our nicest kid like
Starting point is 00:18:42 Intelligent one. Yeah, I know we're fucking that's why it's so fun You bring you bring better guests on the to me. I had the fucking dumb ones come Where do you go in Long Island? It's an old wasbury that area. Okay. Yeah, I'm lying SUNY old Westbury Baba he's gonna be a doctor. He's going to like, dot com college. It's a Sony school. In-long life. Yeah. Is it a Sony school? I'm gonna be a kid doctor. No, no, it's a private school.
Starting point is 00:19:09 It's a private school. So you're gonna be a child. You're gonna be a pediatric doctor. You're gonna take care of our kids. Hopefully, yes. Okay, great. All right, now you're not weirdo, right? You're not a, I love kids, not okay.
Starting point is 00:19:19 That's why I make sure you love kids in the right way. And I'm in. I'm from a, anyways. Can someone Google his country? Can we Google that? Azerbaijan. It is the capital. They have more pedophiles by force.
Starting point is 00:19:31 Let's get him say a square feet. J-Train, go get J-Train. Look at how excited she gets when she's going to get fucking drink. J-Train him. Well, welcome to the show, buddy. Thanks for coming on. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 00:19:41 Buddy, you're such a nice, I want all the guests to be as nice as you and have cookie socks like that. I have, that's my thanks. I have silly socks. Yeah, so this is the show today is, you know, D-Poo's not here. We got Scopo. What? Well, I don't back. Scopo's back. It was good to be home. You feel good? Yeah. And that good man, welcome back. And you look, you look good. You look. That's nice. Well, this is the thing. He looks like he's left the show and he got a You're good? Yeah. And that good man, welcome back. And you look, you look good. You look. That's what he does. Well, this is the thing, he looks like he's left the show.
Starting point is 00:20:08 And he got a shit together. Like he got sober. Yeah. I didn't get sober, but there he is. Jay train. Jay. All right, go ahead. I know.
Starting point is 00:20:17 I would love you. I won this. Can you stay for a little bit? Come on, Jay. Come on. Come on. Come on. I'm gonna sit over next to him. Jay train, you sit right there. Sure. Yeah, why am I, I'm gonna refuse Come on. Sit over here. Come on. I'm gonna sit over next to you.
Starting point is 00:20:25 Jay-jay, you sit right there. Sure. Yeah, why am I, I'm gonna refuse to call you Jay-Train though. They can't be, what are we, 21 years old? Can I be Jay-Train? It was all girls, and I mentioned your name, and they go, oh Jay-Train! Fuck you, and you do look like you lose them weight.
Starting point is 00:20:38 I'm trying my best, man. I have no, I've had no carbs today. None? Good for you, buddhist. You look a little weight shut up It's gonna be nice good. You know fat. I'm right now I feel like when I'm sitting my stomach is hitting my tits I feel like I have a rubber band around the middle of my body what happened
Starting point is 00:20:53 What you on that diet for a while? They're not sure gonna green let's move on South by Southwest fucked it up. No, South by Southwest was a how was the food? I was a good show last Blast. Were you there? No, no, I listened to the show, it was great. What a fucking good time. I did, here's the up. I go, we go to South by Southwest. I go to Bonnie, Rich and Bonnie have a show with,
Starting point is 00:21:15 would you fuck him? Okay, where three girl comics and, you know, sit up there and judge, a Mateo was on a two, so it was three girls and Mateo, right? Four girls. Four girls. Four,. So four girls. Four, one of them hot. I don't get it.
Starting point is 00:21:27 A Mateo. Oh, fucking what, I just kiss his Heine. Just the top part where it fucking meets his back. He's quite a specimen. God, he is. He has the Vika. He really is. I love that we're all gay.
Starting point is 00:21:40 That's not gay. I love when guys, every single one of you poses him to a shirtless. God damn it. Anyways, that poses, he's a shirtless. Goddammit. Anyways, that little mustache does it for me too. Just adds that little tinge of European to him, doesn't it? That's like a porno Mario or something. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:53 So it's a Lisa. Yes. And then this black chick, I forget her name. Goddammit, we should have a name. Um, uh, uh, Laquisha. Laquisha. No. Yaman. Yamania.
Starting point is 00:22:10 No, you know, you. It's a sunny. She was like, I thought she was, she was a big girl like Yamanica. Very funny. And then, and then Morgan Murphy. Um, Morgan Murphy. Yeah. Um, so, you know, so they're on stage.
Starting point is 00:22:23 Joe DeRosa is going up first. This is a foul joke. This is a foul joke. Fucking Joe DeRosa. I can't tell you how much he makes me this motherfucker, you know, because he's, you know, he's trying to do whatever. He's got to let the jack on tight jeans. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:40 Joe looks good. You know, he's got to, you can tell he feels good too. He, he's got the, you know, his outfit is, and I know Joe's's got a, he can tell he feels good too. He's got, you know, his outfit is, and I know Joe's fucking got a, you know, he loves good clothes. He's dressed for the event. He's draft to fucking show up and people go, Joe looks good.
Starting point is 00:22:55 Yeah, I'd bang him. That's what he's dressed. He gets up there and, you know, Lisa has candy. Yeah. She loves candy. The boxes, they got a boxes of sweet and sour, whatever they fuck, you know, it's kind of like a thing with girls, I think. I've known. They got a boxes of sweet and sour whatever they fuck you know
Starting point is 00:23:12 It's kind of like a thing with girls. I think I've known as a good bunch of just boxes of cake like like just boxes of Treats like the sweet tarts. Yeah, whatever it was Joe walks on stage Those who's at least she goes those of mine and he just empties them on What's hotter than a bad boy? Right? There you go. No. What it did? All the women.
Starting point is 00:23:32 Get the rose out. All the women slide off their chair. Did he just pour out a whole thing of candy? Did he just go row? Oh shit. He doesn't give a shit about this show. Oh man. What are you showing his tattoos?
Starting point is 00:23:48 Buddy, no, get a little jagged up. Get a leather on, it was like the fonts, just fucking file. Throwing on a LJ. And he goes, then he goes into, I'm just a fucking smash and everybody on the, just, I wouldn't fucking hear you. Oh, when again, Scra I wouldn't fuck any of you. Right? When against grain. Fucking just trashes them.
Starting point is 00:24:08 They've got mad. Oh really? Buddy, he walks up, dumps it, full crowd. Was the crowd into it like, are they on his side? Granted, you could never reverse this show because we'd all be out of the business. Oh, the things we would say. We'd all be in three guys. Yeah, would say. We don't have three guys.
Starting point is 00:24:25 Three guys. We just analog somewhere. Yeah, three guys in Mateo. It would look like fucking, saying that I've never fucked this girl. I'd never, if you'd be like the scene with the philosopher raptors coming out and just feeding on the baby goat.
Starting point is 00:24:38 We'd be fucking, Huff Poe would kill us. It would all be out of the business. If it were, but you can have three girls going, I'd never fuck this guy. They turned on him though. They business. Everybody, but you can have three girls going, I don't have a fuck this guy. They turned on them though. They, I mean, I mean, the crowd or?
Starting point is 00:24:49 No, Lisa, the girls, the girls, you could see they were like, fuck you. Cause this is not the way it's supposed to go. Yeah, they want you to play along. You, well you should, well, you should, you know, that's what's supposed to happen. Like, the guy goes up, does whatever,
Starting point is 00:25:03 or five, no, no, no no they go up and they do comedy they do like that's a really I was thank you list that's why list you should be on all my shows because I'm a I literally suck as a host I just give you a little bit of information and I let you go off and do a spin turn
Starting point is 00:25:19 they go up they go up they're supposed to go up this is the deal you supposed to go up to a five minute spot and then at the end they they talk they talk about you. They're supposed to go up. This is the deal. You're supposed to go up to a five minute spot. And then at the end, they talk about you and your act and they fuck you. And based on the act and they've done it in the underground. It's hard. It sounds like a great show. I'm saying that's a real comfortable spot to have three women just like.
Starting point is 00:25:37 Yeah, no, that sounds like a laryng at you. My self esteem doesn't fuck with me enough on a fucking atrium. I got the fucking show in Williamsburg. Yeah. Yeah, let me come down here and let fucking three middleers tell me I suck it physically. Right? Anyways, good idea, Bonnie. That was a great show. What happened to stand up?
Starting point is 00:25:57 Fuck it. Fuck it. Do you want a roast fucking shut up everybody with your fucking theme shows? Keep that shit in the fucking over the bridges. Anyways, they do the show. Joe goes up, starts smashing him. The crowd dying. They're pissed.
Starting point is 00:26:12 She goes like, she just starts saying truths. Yeah, she just starts going, she's good like that. She's just fucking snaps and takes it into it. She's like, you fucked all my friends. You didn't make any of them. Oh, these are amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, that's not public. Fuck, didn't make any of them come. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:26 I'm like, that's not public. Fuck, why did you make that? Well, he goes, he goes, what the fuck? What are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing? Now you have a hair too. You told me you suck Lenny Marcus's dick. What?
Starting point is 00:26:37 Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, I told you that private on a just for laughs tour boss. She doesn't have secrets. At least it does not have secrets. goes Joe literally goes what the fuck you do. That's that's personal Then Joe goes into it just decides to go into his act, which is he killed too much within the improv that it was like They and they were like fuck you at this point and all the women of course turned a fuck you Wasn't working. I It was not the candy. You fucked all my friends.
Starting point is 00:27:07 Never made them come. So LA traffic. Let's get into that. That's not gonna go. But me and Nate, we were like, thank Joe DeRosa. Thank you. You must have had it. So he comes back and he's kind of fucking like whatever,
Starting point is 00:27:25 you know, what the fuck with that? I'm kidding around and you fucking way allowed secrets, you know, whatever the fuck. And then we're like, oh shit, this is, you know, I, you want everybody to have fun, you know, Joe comes out at the end, he goes back, takes his jacket off, goes out as another dude, has his bonny voice, introduce him as somebody else.
Starting point is 00:27:43 So they go, we have a special guest. And, uh, Liza goes, is it Robert Kelly? You ready? I'm not fucking waste. You're out of your mind. You're gonna do the show? No, you're not. No, what I did, my fucking show.
Starting point is 00:27:58 You got a show to put someone in the show. You're good. They would have said yes to you easily. Buddy, I don't, first of all, they would have said yes to me out of fucking, oh, we love fat, oh, chubby bubby. No, it's not happening. I'm not going on the show. I have this weird thing.
Starting point is 00:28:13 It's called an act. Oh. What is? There it is. There it is. There it is. I'm getting a fucking walled bill. So anyway, you want to sketch it? There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it. There it is. There it. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it. There it. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it. There it is. There it. There it is. There shouldn't it? Places going nuts. He kills with all pro women jokes.
Starting point is 00:28:48 Like yeah, they should be in the military, but just dude killing and then he looks on the ground. This is why I love Bonnie McFawn. She has the comic time. She's one of the funniest people in the world. Her timing is ridiculous. She, Joe looks on the ground to all the candy goes, what the hell happened here?
Starting point is 00:29:04 Bonnie goes, good night everybody Fucking it was so I was dying and it was a such a great festival Can you explain one thing that we saw on Instagram? Oh my god the Rick Shaws Nate Bargazze's Instagram story was the best thing I saw last week. Yeah, I almost killed the Rickshaw guy. It was amazing. We got to. You have to tell that story. We got, you know, you they have these little rickshaws around.
Starting point is 00:29:32 They close down the streets. Wait, what the fuck is it? What's a rickshaw? Stop, stop, stop, stop, please. Let him work this out. I listen, my kid when he does stuff, fuck up, sometimes I just got to let him work it out. From Queens, I'm usually worried.
Starting point is 00:29:44 I'm not worried. Use your words Look at me look at me use your words. Look at me. I've missed it. Listen rig Rickshaw Okay, now think of what that means He's never gonna have you okay get this I like that I have never done a festival. I don't know I have never done a festival. I don't know what the fuck Rikshaws aren't like only That's a like
Starting point is 00:30:10 Carnival I don't know what the fuck yeah, yeah, I Haven't been How could I know I dude I? I've never been to Texas. Yeah, how do I know what I know? know that those Texas traditions of Rick shots Listen, I'm Seriously, oh my god scope oh, I was happy to see you now I'm annoyed Comes up rickshaw piro wait all right there it is rickshaw rickshaw a good cab which is a rickshaw Yeah, Rickshaw, buddy the rick cab and you knowicab, and you know, the Google is wrong. She is, Google is wrong. No, no, but Google is wrong.
Starting point is 00:30:46 Come on. Petticab. What? That's not a Petticab. But a Petticab. Can you please type in Petticab? It's crazy. I'm gonna show you what a Petticab looks like.
Starting point is 00:30:54 You, listen, the first one's a Petticab. That's not a Petticab. It's a fucking rickshaw. When somebody types something into Google and an image comes out, that's what it is. Petticab. That's a Petticab. That's a Petticab. All right, that's what it is. Petty cap. Petty cap is more of the bike. That's a petty cap.
Starting point is 00:31:07 All right, so you know what? I take that back. You know what? You're right. It's a Petty cap. I apologize. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, a fucking that's a petty cap petty cap. Yeah, he's right I just admitted he's right. Can we not stay up? Feels good I like it guys he's still stupid. Yeah Let's not forget how dumb you have to be to not know a Rickshaw the fact that he didn't put it together
Starting point is 00:31:38 Like he needed he needed a visual stimulus That he thought okay it'd in Brooklyn invented it for his festival. Yeah. Yeah. So it was like, oh, let's make this a part of the comedy thing. Thank you for Googling that. Oh, so it's, oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:31:58 Somebody's calling me. Who's calling me? I don't know. 212 number. Yeah. Doesn't mean anything to me. Can you go call that number back and see who it is? I just spilled hot coffee on my knee.
Starting point is 00:32:08 It'll believe. Anyways, so we do this thing, and you have to take these petty cabs. Now I get it. I'm annoying. I'm so good now. Ah! Woo!
Starting point is 00:32:22 Someone has his own podcast. I'm gonna call. Uh, call. They're making fun of your water bottle. Who? Oh, Hopi and Jim. Yeah, I would call, but I'm literally on my show right now. Mark Norman's on that.
Starting point is 00:32:35 Who's, who is that? Oh, really? Yeah, Bob Kelly has a water bottle that lights up. I think so. Yeah, I wish he had one that I wish he put one in the neck. Hey, God, Vox and Vixotor and Mark Norman in studio making fun of. about all that lights up. Yeah, I wish you had one that I wish to put one of your ex. Hey, got a voice in Vixotor and Mark Norman in studio making fun. Yeah, I don't care.
Starting point is 00:32:50 It's not like it's fucking Louis and Chris Rock. It's Mark, Norman and Voss. What's with the world? What is that? It's called a mediocre tour. The middleers fuck off. I'm doing my show with potential. Not really.
Starting point is 00:33:04 Not really. Not really. Look at the best run. It was like, I am down the river with this one. Nope. That'll be talking about my water bottle. I fucked them. It's a great water bottle. Sounds like great radio.
Starting point is 00:33:17 Let's do that 10 minute water bottle, that. Hey, man. Colin is smashing you a bucket. Yeah, man, call in this, smashing your butt. Yeah, well, right away. Yeah. Fine. Listen, I'm going to fucking, I'm ball deep into a Derocha story. Into a fucking petty cab story, aka Rick Shaw.
Starting point is 00:33:36 All right. So here's a deal. I'm doing the Rick Shutt thing. Are we, me and Nate, Nate's fucking trash. I'm in the petty cab with him. This rich shot guy apparently didn't look at me He just said yeah, we're in this thing. We literally had to start singing the theme song to Rocky for this guy to get up a little hill Look at the two of you and just be like like the cost goes up like there wasn't like a cost to judge that dude should be Sinflation this guy just was like yeah get in ited up. He's trying to go up this hill.
Starting point is 00:34:05 Every rickshaw, like people who left 10 minutes ago from where we were passing us. Like old ladies with walkers are passing us. The worst part is I had to take one back and back it's more hilly. So this guy looks at me. I walk up to a cluster of rickshaw guys or a petty cab. And I walk up to them and I saw guys just like take off
Starting point is 00:34:27 like fucking rats. They were just like, no, no, no, no. One guy was like, what are you guys doing? What's going on? No! So he, so I grabbed him, he's like, dude, it's gonna be expensive. I just, I like the idea of you looking at other drivers
Starting point is 00:34:41 like testing out their muscle, like, don't, like, oh, I don't know about your legs. I don't think you can handle it. They don't answer even. You're looking at horses. This guy, this guy was his thinnest, as Dan Adamen, okay. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:34:54 But he made a year's income in one trip. Buddy, it was a fucking, let me tell you something. He goes, I go, he goes, where are you going? I go, I'm going up to the Omni Hotel. He goes, I am making it up that hill. I'm telling up to the omnihotel he goes I am making it up that hill I'm telling you right now He goes I am he's like themself out already he goes. I'll drop you off. I'll drop you off at sixth
Starting point is 00:35:18 But I'm not going to we're going I'm in the back of this cab We're driving by corners with like people on like groups of people you see people going Laughing and pointing at how slow we're going. There were people walking at one point, that were going fast in the house. This, and I just sat there and took it. I just sat there, and I just made this kid, he said he could do it, so do it. And now you're in it together.
Starting point is 00:35:41 We're in it together, dude. I tell you, we pulled up to six. There was like 15 of the petty cab guys. They saw him coming up. They all got off and like he just ran a marathon. Rappluckus, like a tinfoil coat around him. You all right, man? You all right?
Starting point is 00:35:55 I think he made metal. Yeah. We almost, he almost fucking did. Can you take calls? Let's simul cast your podcast. Wow. Yeah, that's what I want to do. I want to fucking call in 18 voices. Yeah, they're literally trashing me right now.
Starting point is 00:36:10 Hey, Matt, this is what I love about this fucking car. Second, hey, they're made there. I got four of the fucking most vicious comics in the was a boss and Dan soda Mark Norman and who else? And Vic Henley. Yeah, they're all making fun of you. Do you want to call in your water bottle? Yeah, they found the one little thing. Yeah, that's what that's what I want to do
Starting point is 00:36:32 I want to call in so you can what? Fuck you They're gonna do the next 10 on your wallet He really does get my ego though because I kind of want to call it Make fun of me you fuck what the I kind of want to call it. It's like, cocks that make fun of me. You fuck what the fuck? Kind of my water bottle you cocks. I don't, I watch cymo cast.
Starting point is 00:36:52 Fuck you. It's not called cymo cast. They sound like professional, yeah. Yeah, he did. When it's me with my iPhone on speaker, held up to a fucking microphone. That's not called cymo casting, you asshole. Hey, EROC, you know what? Get over it, all right? I'm not calling in. I'm a fucking microphone. That's not called cymo casting, you asshole. Hey, E-Rock, you know what? Get over it, all right?
Starting point is 00:37:07 I'm not calling in, I'm a call in. Colin, just see if they have an opening for me next week. Okay, let's go. Let's go. That's no change here. Get the tape from him. Have you been on the show?
Starting point is 00:37:16 You're a musical. You're a fucking climber. Yeah. This guy, he just came down here. Yeah, that's all, that's called, about your water bottle. Okay. Let's call in, we will call in. It call about your water bottle. Let's call it. We will call it. It is a great waterfall. It is a great. What is it? Let me see with a high I know don't show them because that it he'll fucking jump on their side just to get on the show next one
Starting point is 00:37:36 Hello, yes, it's Robert. Yeah, it's Robert Kelly I hope I hope so Like a black kid's dead end is still trying to be with it What's up, man? I'm gonna put you on. I hope so. Yes. Let's try working. You're like a black kid that has still trying to be with it. You know, I'm like, I got a white light. I got interrupted by the spot and then between. Bobby. Bobby.
Starting point is 00:37:54 Bobby. Hey guys. Hey, I'm with you. Hey, you guys. I got Mark Norman, Dan Stolter, Bitcandley and Rich Ross. I was talking about your water bottle. Yeah, well, guess what I got. I got Jason Chaffield. I got Jay Train and Chris Scopo.
Starting point is 00:38:09 Bam! So beat that show, hope sir. I don't believe friends comedy club. I don't believe friends comedy club. I don't believe friends comedy club. I don't believe friends comedy club. He needs to be here more often, brother. He needs to to be more often
Starting point is 00:38:29 Bobby those guys were trashing your water bottle I was You fucking double-lake And I said I'll play the tape later Bobby hey, oh be I was the only one sticking up for you Hey, oh be first of all you fucking old mother but it's not a it's not a tape but but it's this fucking ninety eight i'm gonna get the tape listen but but
Starting point is 00:39:01 but it's a lot of cameras and it's right now did you like you have to cameras around right Bobby. Yeah, I'm actually doing this dude. I'm I don't get paid to do. I bought this shit with my own money. I'm in somebody's apartment above a fucking cell a comedy club. All right.
Starting point is 00:39:16 You're a serious satellite. Yeah. We hear a buzz. Are you going to take a sip of water. Oh, I You Wipe them like I can always I He's
Starting point is 00:39:33 Back of the room. I play you Bobby with those guys for even up to make funny water bottle that's I'm funny right now. No, but the J train you you know Jared right? I Not sure No, we haven't met we don't know Jared Jared freed I was like I'm not calling. No, we haven't met. We don't know. Well Jared Fried I was like I'm not calling that show. He goes no call in.
Starting point is 00:39:49 I want to see if they'll get me on next week. He moves there. He moves there. He moves there. He moves there. He moves there. He moves there. He moves there.
Starting point is 00:39:58 He moves there. He moves there. He moves there. He moves there. He moves there. He moves there. He moves there. He moves there. He moves there. He moves there. He moves there. Oh, Wow, actually he's more of a climber clock soccer. Yeah. All right. Well, that didn't go About that you can always count on Voss for fucking saving you. Oh, I know. Steven Riggie's running when he took that one.
Starting point is 00:40:25 She's seeing the drink he's wearing, buddy. He sent chat people over here to bring the bomb data. Put it on the phone. Tommy, we're getting a remarkable thanks to you. You get up. What? Thanks, Tommy. Did they say, are they sending you out of shit?
Starting point is 00:40:41 You don't have one now. You're in here. We're playing with it. You're out of your fucking no, you're fucking lying Yeah, we all we all do Bobby. I'm not just we all know. Yeah, hope he got five What? To be on the show let me hold back to them So these guys cuz they're here today. Let me add dance. Oh, to dance. Oh to swear on our friendship that you have one I Swear
Starting point is 00:41:07 Exactly you fucking you fucking you fucking you cock suckin little little house in the prairie bitch you can't lie to save your life Bobby knows me Bobby knows me fucking to the easy it's not real
Starting point is 00:41:24 yeah I'll tell you what's going on Bobby knows friendship I'm not even getting fucking to these. It's not real. Yeah. I'm saying it was real. I'm saying it was real. Bobby and I spread shit. Yeah. Goddamn right, it's real. I love you, Dan Soda. And I always have it. I always will.
Starting point is 00:41:35 And I'm a distraught over 10 corners in the room for you. Hey, Dan Soda. Anybody want a peanut? I want a peanut. We did it for a team. Two dollars. Anybody want a peanut? Stop it. I mean it We're a team over you'll never break us up You know pain in his face like a tiger this is work that part of the year of course you know larry is so great it is what about that i like that i
Starting point is 00:42:08 see a lot of you know listen can i say second remember that you were wait a minute wait a minute a lot of pain listen
Starting point is 00:42:18 listen rich boss can i ask a question where are you you're i know you are where are you this weekend? Isn't that one's coming I knew that was coming I love that's just call themselves an idiot Called boss I know but the way you said it, dude, even I knew that was it.
Starting point is 00:42:46 See, that's, you guys are interested. I didn't realize that. That's just terrifying. But on it, we're good. And you've never created it. Fuck me. Mark Norman, Goddamn that son of a bitch is fast and ridiculous. All right, so listen, what were we talking about?
Starting point is 00:43:05 We were talking about some good, or the Rickshaw guy. Yeah. Have you been to the festivals? What festivals? Never been. Never done them. Legion of the Skanks Festival.
Starting point is 00:43:13 That's a festival? I would count that. You would count that. Okay. I'll tell you why you count the Legion of Skanks Festival. Long Island City so far away. No, it's not. I think that festival.
Starting point is 00:43:23 They have Rick Shaw's? No. They have people Shaws? Hat no. They have people that work at Rick Shaws. They go to the show. Yeah. I'm telling you, I think that festival has potential to become big if they do things right. I think if it's, I think it should stay
Starting point is 00:43:40 and that should be the center, the freaking the cave. But they shouldn't move it out. They should find another venue. They should try to do some of the freaking the cave. But they shouldn't move it out. They should find another venue. They should try to do some, they have the potential. That festival last year was a lot of fun. There was multiple things going on, and it was run by the people. And they got fans.
Starting point is 00:43:57 They got people. They got fans. You don't have to be a fucking skank fan, or only, you don't have to wear a black t-shirt and have dirty fucking fingernails to be. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 00:44:12 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I think we might do a YKWD live for this year. We're gonna try to do it last year too. We want to do last year. I did a show there last year, which was fun. But I think I'm telling you, that'll be... That festival was fun. It was the fans of...
Starting point is 00:44:34 Let me tell you, the fans are fucking great. When you start something with the fans, and they're the ones that make it happen, you can't forget about the fans. I think it's a great thing to do. I think we're gonna do a great thing. We're gonna do a great thing. It was the fans of let me tell you the fans are fucking great when you start something with the fans Yeah, and they're the ones that make it happen. Yeah, you can't fuck with that. Yeah, that's great You don't have to worry about industry. You don't have to worry about they're definitely not going to this festival
Starting point is 00:44:55 So it's all about fans and people who like funny I think if they can get another venue get some bigger shows. Yeah, did they a dunk stand-hole last year? Yeah, yeah, we fell asleep in garbage out in front of the place. Did they have a dunk stand-hole last year? Yeah. We fell asleep in garbage out in front of the place. Did he really? Are you felling it or something? It was just, but that's hilarious. It's hilarious.
Starting point is 00:45:11 And then he wore it home. I got it. I got it. I just filmed another special in South by Southwest. We did our show. We did the live podcast, which was hilarious. It was me, Derosa. We started it out, which we started this show out
Starting point is 00:45:26 long time ago, which was fun. We immediately, we fell right back into just me and him arguing about, you know, comic books and movies, just two asses. I was like episode one of Wikei that we did. It was, right? So that happened. And then of course, uh, Lisa came on, uh, rich boss, Bonnie, Al magical came on. It was great. It was a great show. It was a great show. Then we did a comedy show after with me. Lisa hosted, it was Mark Norman, then Voss, then me, then Nate, then Al.
Starting point is 00:45:57 Crazy. The show was fucking off the chain and then Stanhope went out and did a film that another special with a CISO. People go to all these shows like is it packed all the time good Packed self by Southwest this year because I've been I think three times was the best. Yeah, yeah They finally you know the guy runs it and laugh button They just they it all came together true TV was a sponsor. They fucking they gave they put this insane green room together to hang So they gave comics in place to go
Starting point is 00:46:29 Two different things one is a music festival with comedy one is a comedy the mother of all So JFL is Everybody's going except for Chris Yeah Look at me for that one. I'm not a real audition girl that I remember the time you called me up and yeah Yeah, I had a st. It's a tape sin for unwrapped and they get back to you. Did they get back to you? No Are you gonna send another tape? I did already? Yeah, they send back and I think in like April and May or something like that You dude some you know what you can count this someday Yeah, you might be fucking 42
Starting point is 00:47:04 Scuffle gets new phases. Do do do do. Music of violin. I've been moisturized and keep my face new. We've only Joe Lister's supposed to be here winds up on that show because he's just just over an opi show right now. It would have made me fucking hate him. And I would laugh for nine days. Yeah. Funny. But then, um, yeah, I think just for laughs is, uh, everybody's there. Yeah. So at night, when you go to the party, it's every fucking comic. And it's, it's fun. It's, you know, uh, it's a good time.
Starting point is 00:47:41 I mean, look, I love it. I really do. I love JFL. It's in the people who run it to, I mean, their friends are mine now at this point. I've been so much. So I got a call for friends here. So it suggests global. You can I did. Oh, yeah, we're not that close. I'm gonna fucking skew their judgment. You buddies should be easy. I gotta. Oh, shit. On my way, Joe's on his way. Hey, you can't leave until he comes. Um, so yeah, but this festival was a blast. You'll go, you guys will go. I mean, what are you? The food, the food, the food, the food, the food, the food.
Starting point is 00:48:14 Thank you, thank you. I appreciate it. You can go. You went, right? You've been. No, I haven't. What festivals have you gone to? Only Melbourne, the attached to somebody festival, that's it.
Starting point is 00:48:23 I didn't understand where you just the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. That's a great festival. Seven of those. Yeah. Seven of those. But I mean you got to kind of chalk it up to your being from there being from me. I mean you do you do about 30 shows in 25 days It's pretty crazy. You do an hour every night. That's coming up right? That's like in the next that's your night pro Yeah, the physical is doing that. Yeah, I've never been. It's good. You should. Oh my God. It's insane. What's the one that they bring comics over? Yeah. That's the headline is sharp. What's that? Isn't that Sydney?
Starting point is 00:48:51 What's the big one? No, it's big ones. Yeah. Ryan Hamilton's going. Yeah. Who the fuck? Why won't they book me? How have you know? Are you going to go to Australia for two weeks, three weeks? That's a long. Is it talk about Norman? Normal and when you did it?
Starting point is 00:49:05 21 days less. Yeah. He did the full fit. You can do a half festival, which is just two weeks, yeah. Yeah, I can't do that. And it's pretty good money. Why couldn't you do that? I have a child.
Starting point is 00:49:15 Yeah. It's a long way. It's 24 hours flying. I'll tell you what happens with the kid. And this is fucking sad. Okay. What happens when your kid becomes three, four around there and when he starts to talk, he starts to miss you. And it fucks him up. So I went away just now. I went to, I was away in Madison for, came back for a couple of days and they were right.
Starting point is 00:49:36 So San Francisco, San Francisco, I went to Austin, Texas. And then there I booked in the while it was there, I booked something in LA, like a little, whatever it is, I booked it. And so I had to go there and film that. So I was going for almost two weeks. My kid, by the end of the two weeks there, when I went on FaceTime, he didn't wanna talk to me. Yeah, I had to, you know, you could be like,
Starting point is 00:50:02 oh, okay, just hang up. But I was like, Max, I had to say, do you miss me? And he was like, yeah. And I was like, I love you, you know, you know, I'll be back. And he was like, okay, and I'm like, can I have a hug? And he gave me a hug. I had to open his emotions up, because he shut it down.
Starting point is 00:50:17 He got to the point. And then when I come home, he gets fucked. Like mentally, he doesn't want to, my mom, his mom, just me and you do this. He doesn't want to be with her. But two weeks for a four-year-old is a really long time. Remember how long a week used to be as a kid? Yeah, remember how long a fucking hour drive used to be?
Starting point is 00:50:34 Right, how was it four-way? I was when you faced time with Scopo. It was like, same thing. Same thing, same thing. It's like fucking man. I gotta go to Allen after what. It's just very real. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:44 I know that's true, but man. I know. I came to brother that afterwards. I feel like I'm gonna be the first. Yeah, I know that's true. I'm gonna be the first. I'm probably kind of the brother of that joke. I know, my asshole hurts. Even in school today, I had a little problem in school today. Oh, what do you do? He hit a kid. Hit.
Starting point is 00:51:01 Like in the face? Did he get hit first? No, somebody took a shit. Wait, what? You have this great water bottle. You know what? You really would jump on there if I could say it. He's really trying to get books.
Starting point is 00:51:15 You text them? No, that had a good water bottle thing. He had a good, he hit. I can get you on the show. Yeah, just like JFL. I can hang on. I could get you. Okay. I got. I got. I know he, yeah, he's some, I guess he had a rough day. But what happens is they don't not express themselves. They don't know how to say, you know, don't take my stuff or he took
Starting point is 00:51:44 my stuff. And I miss my dad or I'm, you know, I'm, he's got all this energy because I'm back and he gets a little crazy for a couple of days and he had a rough day today. And that's what you don't want to be called like a baby. That's a big thing. Here's what, like if someone steals your stuff and you're like, hey, I'm going to go tell them that he's not your baby. I don't think there was a conversation.
Starting point is 00:52:03 No, there was an F. Are you listening to three? Three? Well, what I like in college at this point, right? No, that's why kids bite or push or punch because they don't they date all the shit comes up. You know what I mean? And you can't go, hey, don't take my stuff or he took my stuff. So they go, ah, fool when they lash out because they don't know how to verbalize it yet. And you gotta teach them, go to the teacher. And then when you teach them,
Starting point is 00:52:30 hey, go to the teacher and say, you know, you get a literally sit down, like my wife went home, gave him crackers, took one of her crackers away, and then said, and he was like, you know, what are you doing? And he was like, well, you say that, that's my cracker, can I please have it? And then he was like, that's my cracker, and then she gave it back. Do you know, what are you doing? And he was like, well, you say that that's my cracker. Can I please have it?
Starting point is 00:52:45 And then he was like, that's my cracker. And then she gave it back. Do you know what I mean? She have to do these. That's how you got taught. Can I ask Bobby, were both of the kids bounced from school or just max? That's a good question.
Starting point is 00:52:55 Here's what my wife did, why I want to, I want to, you know, not hit her because that would be bad. Verboly. But I really, she made me so, I walk into therapy. She calls me. Oh boy. She knows I'm going to therapy. So I know it's important. So I pick up Max was you know, had to leave school a little early today because of blah blah blah blah. And now she goes out. I'll talk to you. I don't want to talk about it now, but I'll talk about it. I go, okay, so now hang up the phone. I'm like, wait a minute. Why the fuck did my kid? Why would you send a three? I'm pissed. Yeah, I'm like
Starting point is 00:53:25 Why would you send a three-year-old home? You're supposed to you're a teacher. You're a school You're supposed to deal with it. You're supposed to help him through it That's what I'm doing. Yeah, and I'm like what the fuck is teaching moment? So now my whole therapy session I was all set I had a good three weeks everything's good boom. I'm dealing with stuff now I'm fucking flipping out and I was like oh, no, no, no, no, no, no Good question. You know I'm fucking flipping out and I was like, oh, no, that's a good question. You know, but you know.
Starting point is 00:53:45 You know. Like, I want to know, are both those kids balanced? No, what happened was, so I had a fucking headache in therapy because of her too, because she doesn't give me the information I need. And then, you know, she's not a fast talker like me too. So I call her after and she starts going, no, I might get to the point.
Starting point is 00:54:03 Just fat like a get-tank, you, blah, I might get to the point. Yes, fat guy. Get you. My. I did it. And they talked to them. They dealt with it. They just he had one incident and then another one. And then this was the last one. Get a few today.
Starting point is 00:54:16 So there was like, you know, like 20 minutes left of school. And he had a had to get a consequence. So she called him and they made this decision together. She was like, why don't I just come? So was this, they did do a good job at this school because I pay a lot of fucking money to this preschool. So I was thinking the same thing, Liz, which is a good isn't, but they did.
Starting point is 00:54:36 They worked through it and he, you know, blah, blah. So that's a whole different story. But here I am in Newspaper. I'm in Derby, having that? I'm sitting there going, you fucking throw my kid out, you clock-second. What about the fuck that stealin' pretzels? Yeah, I'm in.
Starting point is 00:54:49 I'm down. Sorry. I'm down. I'm my head just popped. Yeah. Cause it might listen. In reality, my kid grabbed my kid's pretzels and he punched them.
Starting point is 00:54:58 Good. Yeah, he grabbed the herb that year. Good instinct. Yeah, no one takes my pretzels. No one. No one. That was a good one. That was a good one. I like that. Thank you. I'm trying to be a little different.
Starting point is 00:55:08 You had a new one. No one takes my pretzels. You made me a little nerdy. I mean, am I bad for that? No. I would have a lot of questions. You know, you want to know how it is. But I'm saying like, how is the sparring skill? No, no. No, no.
Starting point is 00:55:21 I'm not going to leave. Any potential. No space. No space. That was just football. That was just football. That's right. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Oh, potential. I showed Robert your merch at lunch today. Oh, what do you think of the merch? I showed him the t-shirt. I had it as no pretentious. No pretentious. No pretentious.
Starting point is 00:55:51 No pretentious. He was infuriated. Listen, let me just tell you buyers agree. Because I have a lot of those t-shirts. Let me just let you know right now. We need to do a J-Train at the seller. So we're going to need more. We're getting more shirts.
Starting point is 00:56:07 Pass them out to everybody. I'll get that some out of it. It makes me so happy that you can bring some chick back there, banger. She's going to stumble across those stupid boxes of shirts. Give her a ginseng. Like Peter. Like a hard-and-gift.
Starting point is 00:56:17 Yeah, like Peter get the baseballs. Yeah, the sadder version. Ted Geter's just baseball. Mine are unsolved T-shirts. That's perfect. What's his story? Let's sell some right now. What is the, what is the guy? The emoji, arm, strong arm, the emoji, and then the sassy girl emoji. And then the back says, and then the back says, on the girl one chicks being chicks, and then the front is just the, the girl emoji. And it's the girl emoji, and then the front of the other one is the arm emoji, would
Starting point is 00:56:44 like make in the muscle, and then the J train on that. And then there's dudes emoji and then the front of the other ones the arm emoji would like making the muscle Yeah, and then the J train and then there's do's being dudes on the front. Yeah You're The dude You know what you know My fans are called dudes Well dudes being dudes you're laughing at me Well, dudes being dudes you'll happen at me. Yeah, you'll have it in me with a JT
Starting point is 00:57:05 Oh My hands are called dudes. Oh Can get a shirt. Yeah, no The profits with you there we go on any dudes. Do you use promo code water bottle? I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you talking about t-shirts. I think you just suck though. Here's a deal.
Starting point is 00:57:32 Here's the thing, if you can get that thing, that slogan, or that not just your fans can wear. That's why Dane Cook Sufi, when he came up with that, he knew he had something because, you know, it's the super finger. It's like, not just fuck you, super fuck you. All these kids just went nuts over it,
Starting point is 00:57:53 and he made millions off of that. You know what I'm saying? I'll tell you who came up with a great one, and I'm fucking sick. I was telling Jim Cerberco about that. You know Jim Cerberco. Great guy. Great guy.
Starting point is 00:58:03 One of the best. Really the nicest guy. Yes guy. One of the best. Really the nicest guy. Yes. I was telling him about it too. I'm the fairest of it. You have a beer. Hey, back off.
Starting point is 00:58:12 You took it. Back off. Jesus. Not like us. Come the sir. The sir. I like Tom too. Tom, Tom, Celet.
Starting point is 00:58:20 Yeah. Celet. I'm in the J-Train mode. You are? He's got potential. He in this J-Train mode Fucking be tone You can have I'm just gonna run the network First of all have my show. By the way, you say new niggies again.
Starting point is 00:58:45 First of all, we have to make sure you said niggies. Yeah, niggies. You are from Boston. Niggies. I don't know Keith Rosner. You know what this motherfucker says. Listen. You're one of the fucking greatest shirts I was telling about this.
Starting point is 00:59:02 I wish I thought of this. And I'm glad the person who thought of it thought of it because he's a great guy, but this is gonna kill. Brian Scolaro, I guess he has a joke in his act. Okay. He has a t-shirt out that's fucking everybody's buying. Anybody with whose chubby he's getting called the black t-shirt diet.
Starting point is 00:59:23 He has a black t-shirt and it says the black t-shirt diet on it and it's fucking genius. That's outside, that goes... Outside of it, that's at the boardwalk. You can buy that, yeah, somewhere else. And if he does it, now Brian, please go pat in this. You gotta go pat in that. Pat in that right now, can somebody,
Starting point is 00:59:40 I wanna text him right now. Well, that's the thing that I was told, for any merchandise t-shirt wise, it has to connect to a punchline that kills. Yeah, which you don't have. Which I don't have. Not yet. Waiting on that punchline.
Starting point is 00:59:52 No, no. One day. That's a punchies. Yeah, one day. One day. No, one cheesies. Oh, shit. One day.
Starting point is 00:59:59 That's a punchies. This is so funny. You know when you say you smash a comic, what's that mean? And they just go along with it because they know he kills son of a bitch One day one day One day no, but I I
Starting point is 01:00:15 Supposedly joke boy like sells tons of shit because yeah He has everything has to do with a joke and that's when I looked in my shirts Yeah, I have nothing to fucking do with anything I talk about except that I like emojis. Yeah, you gotta There he is fucking lit money on fire. You have to Joey How's How is your mouth? Okay, okay, we won't you guys ready?
Starting point is 01:00:41 That bad bad bad bad bad bad bad maybe someday this would be changed lives You never know con volotea la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Huelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. All right, what's up? How's your... That's what the host does, you motherfucker.
Starting point is 01:01:12 Welcome to... Oh, shit, Chad Phil. Chris Gov was a new boyfriend. Chris, he came out today on the show. I love you. I love your work. Oh, thanks, buddy. Oh, Jesus. You told me that before. Did you tell everyone that stuff?
Starting point is 01:01:24 Jesus Christ. Well, he likes people's work. I wasn't sure if he was gay until he said that You're not gay. You love women. No dude. That's a hero. He looks chill. Yeah. I have a girlfriend There's no joke don't you one day you can't make a joke like that about somebody Hey, you see what happened to my low. They fucking took him out with remember that He made some stupid pedophile like not a pedophile joke He was like, you know, I I know to gentleman was the one who helped me out of the closet. And then they, the fucking guy put up from him since they put a white baby's face next to an old man face and then put his name next to it.
Starting point is 01:01:55 Gone done. Joe's coming to come down a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. Specifically when I'm loud. Yeah. You're loud, but it's okay.
Starting point is 01:02:04 What do you want to come down? Just a hair. Just a hair. Perfect. Which one you're loud. Am I loud? Yeah, you're loud, but it's okay. Well, do you want to come down? Just a hair. Just a hair. Perfect. Which one, right here? Is that good? Maybe. Is that good?
Starting point is 01:02:11 Is that good? Great. That's good, okay. You're doing that thing where you're not actually touching it and then you're like, move or fucking off. I think it's going to be down. Oh, did I? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:19 It is very loud. Yeah, I still feel like. All right, I hear. There you go. All right, that's a little low, if you ask me. All right, you know what? Right there is great. All right, there you go. All right, that's a little low if you ask me. All right, you know what? Right there, it's great. All right, that's the honey.
Starting point is 01:02:27 Hey, now you're making loud for me. All right, so we're talking about a bunch of stuff here. I want to know Joe. Yes. How's your mouth? Oh, it's a mess. It's just a mess. I'm a mess, Bobby.
Starting point is 01:02:40 You know that. Why you a mess? You've had such a, you have a beautiful fiance. You just got off a whirlwind tour with the greatest comic in the fucking world What I mean literally the Woody Allen of our fucking generation you traveled the world via fucking private jet and four star hotels You banked a lot of money. You're headlining you're one of the youngest rising comic stars Right now in our business. You're good looking to a point. All right, so I should have stopped at the tour thing. But and now those are all very dramatic.
Starting point is 01:03:12 I'm gonna see if this is a thing, Bob. I'm a very, I'm a mentally ill person. You're not mentally ill. What's a mental illness? Panic disorder, anxiety disorder, they're illnesses. And you're dismissing them and minimizing them and it doesn't really help. Well, I'm so, listen, I don't mean to dismiss them.
Starting point is 01:03:28 I want you to use the ability of positive perspective which you know. But this is the thing, see, this is why I gotta go to a professional because you're a sweet friend, my dearest friend. I call you and then I tell me like, I go, I call Bobby and they go, you call Bobby, what are you crazy?
Starting point is 01:03:42 Why do I, what's the, I'm feeling stoo joe. I call you. I'm feeling stoo. And you are thoughtful and you care. I do. But I gotta talk to a professional because we're not suffering from the same thing.
Starting point is 01:03:53 We both have an addiction, which is something we can talk together. That's private. And we don't know that about me, but thanks for announcing. Everybody knows that about you. You sucking a dick for a steak is the favorite thing that you've ever done in your life.
Starting point is 01:04:04 I never said that in the show. Shit. Was that not on the show? No, no. Oh, fuck. It's so good. Oh, shit. I'm really sorry.
Starting point is 01:04:14 Oh, my God. I forget when you somebody pods, and we talking the phone, so often, I forget. I swear. I move on. Anyway, we'll cut that. Lauren, tick that out. You look great. I don't know what. I'll move on. Anyway, we'll cut that. Lauren, take that out.
Starting point is 01:04:25 You look great. I don't know what's real in fake anymore. Oh, I did. I was hungry. So it's one problem. That's over here. And Louie helped me with that. Because I said, you know, I got these problems.
Starting point is 01:04:38 He's like, you got to see somebody. And I said, well, I go, I go to all these. And then he said, that's two different issues. All right. Great, for Louis. I told you, you need to see my guy here's a go. I suggested, so let's back up a little, your friend Bob. You don't have a private jet though. That's true, that is true.
Starting point is 01:04:56 It doesn't mean more. Yeah, I got it. I told him, he's like, I don't know, you came here in a cab. You were my kitchen and my one bedroom in house kitchen. You're right. So anyways, I gotta go see something. Because anyways, one of those saying is you're very kind. Yeah, but I'm having a panic attack. And you say, dude, you know what you do, dude?
Starting point is 01:05:15 Why don't you go get a cigar? Get a nice cigar. Yeah. Get a nice, get a nice stimulant to really get some drugs in you. And it's, you know, I tried and it gets me a generic okay listen what happened to you today? Well, I've been having dental issues, you know, I got a bad mouth. It's been discussed on the show before. Yeah, I think we don't let him in.
Starting point is 01:05:37 Yeah, yeah, and that's right. I was on litigment. Thank you. Appreciate that. You let that out. But anyways, I got some mouth issues but I got things out I'm dealing with mental and dental issues at the same time. That's a great name for a CD mental dental What about a t-shirt maybe it's an album now we got t-shirt mental dental Mentant Let Jay train I'll do the breathing around here the breathing around here. Oh, breathing. I want to puke on the regs.
Starting point is 01:06:06 Oh my god. Oh, fuck. I know. You got a great tan though, Joe. Oh, thank you. Well, I was in Florida. Okay. All right, listen, I want to go back.
Starting point is 01:06:18 What a fucking asshole. Got a great tan. Thanks. Let's move on. Today, is there anything wrong with your mouth? Well, that's the thing, Bob. I think I rushed the dentist appointment. I was like, I gotta move it up, because I'm losing my mind.
Starting point is 01:06:30 I gotta see the dentist immediately. I need answers. What I should have moved up is the therapy appointment. Yes. Because the guy did the x-ray and the thing, and he's like, I don't know what to tell you. Your teeth are fine. I was like, but they're crooked and crazy. And he's like, yeah, you're horrible looking, for sure.
Starting point is 01:06:42 Yes. But they're off. He said, they're fine. And I think I'm grinding my teeth. And sometimes stress, I've had this anxiety. I've had constipation and migraines. And I thought I had a memory. I had the throat thing for fucking a year.
Starting point is 01:06:57 And it's all nothing. So I just create these things. And I think something's wrong with me. And then immediately I leave. I have eight minutes of relief. And then I'm like, he's probably right. He's probably stupid. He immediately I leave. I have eight minutes of like, ah, relief. And then I'm like, he's probably right. He's probably stupid. He's an idiot.
Starting point is 01:07:08 No, you don't have, when are you going to therapy? When are you starting tomorrow? Tomorrow. With Alan. Tomorrow. Yes. What time? Noon.
Starting point is 01:07:16 Noon. Yeah. Fucking cock sucker. I tried to get Wednesday. Noon, he wouldn't give it to me. He said, do you want Bobby Spotten? I said, I don't feel great about it for sure. I'm sure.
Starting point is 01:07:24 So you go on, are you doing the double? Are you doing it single? I didn't know you could do a double. I'm doing a single. You can do a double when you need it. You can ask for it and he'll give you a double. I think I need a sinko here. I got a really brimmed heat. I don't know how you start therapy
Starting point is 01:07:35 because he doesn't know about that. The herpes, the alcoholism, the... Oh, he's a band in my podcast. He knows all the questions. Is he listening? All the time, he knows. You know what I'm knows who you are. We talked about you today.
Starting point is 01:07:46 Listen, I'm kidding. We never heard. He just, we just fucking, we don't talk about you. One time. He's about to have a good time. Tomorrow you go in, you sit down, and you just, he, right away, just ask him, what the fuck?
Starting point is 01:08:00 Just tell him what you taught, what happened today. Yeah. Tell him what you're at today. Yeah, I was having a panic attack and the dental chair was crazy That's right and the one thing that's good about him is that What was that that was weird? I have a I gave her my phone. Why because it's going off I didn't want it on the table distracting us from this conversation Sorry
Starting point is 01:08:19 The one thing that's good about him is that and you how long you be going to I don't really do anymore You don't go to Alan. I don't know no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I stopped going him for a while. I thought it was good and then I got fucked up. But I go to his girl and now I like you go to a woman. Yeah, that's never good. You go to therapy. Of course, no. Why? What is? J-Train, bro. Life is good, buddy. We're here and the fucking doing a podcast.
Starting point is 01:08:55 It could be worse. What? I don't know. I just never, you don't have to promise. No, I'm sure I got issues, but I just never. Fuck it. No. Your parents still together?
Starting point is 01:09:04 Yeah. Do you love them? Yeah, you have a girlfriend. No, you live alone. Yeah, you like that. Yeah Is this the third is what it's like? You're cleared you're good. Am I am I okay? Have you ever been sad? Mom's last time you're sad like a couple years ago Mom was the last time you were sad. Like a couple years ago. You know I'm kidding. I mean we all have sad moments. I just have never been at the brink where I'm like,
Starting point is 01:09:30 I need someone to get this out of me. You know, I'll call my brother. You know, like I do that. You have a close relationship with your brother where you'll call me. We still live together. Really? How old is he?
Starting point is 01:09:38 Four years ago, so he's 28. Does he talk, does he talk? You guys talk on the reg? Yeah, on the reg, toes. That's a touch. That's a touch. What's toots? Yeah, toots. Toil he talk, you guys talking the reg? Yeah, on the reg, toast. That's a question. What's toast? Yeah, totally.
Starting point is 01:09:47 So you're not talking the phone? I'm talking the phone, where are we talking the person? But he's in the reg. On the reg, regular. Joe, I got it. I liked it. Thanks, bum. Okay.
Starting point is 01:09:56 I don't think people are bad because they go to therapy. I think it's weird that you guys go to the same person. Why? Everybody. Everyone goes to the same person. Why? Everybody. Everyone goes to the same person. Why, guy. I'm interested in why. It just seems like, I don't, you have to talk to that.
Starting point is 01:10:11 I have a tone issue. So when I went, why? I didn't mean it like, fuck you, why? He's from Boston, he gets it. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard that one. You could use some improvement on your tone. Everyone's got a tone in the shoe.
Starting point is 01:10:27 What are you talking about? And I bursted. They took a while to get it. They can't help the audience is dumb. He's right. He's right. Anyway, how many pubes do you jam in the microphone before the show's done? Fifteen.
Starting point is 01:10:38 Fifteen. That's actually... That's Will. So Vince is Mike. No, boy. What? I just, I don't know what you want to meet. Why? Just go into the same person, don't you think? Like, there's just like, why is this guy?
Starting point is 01:10:53 I'll tell you why. Why is this is market? I'll tell you why, because he understands the business. He understands the comic life and he understands, you know, club owner. Do you think someone outside of this would be a good outlet? I went to somebody before him and he didn't. He didn't know. No, he, I'm one of the last things he told me, this cock sucker.
Starting point is 01:11:13 He was like, he's trying to give me, I'm trying to not be a piece of shit. I'm trying to, I'm a good person at heart. I'm trying to, you know, be that kid I was back in the day before all this, horse shit fucked me up, you know, be that kid I was back in the day before all this horse shit fucked me up But whatever right and he goes he tells me that this is a story tell me he goes out New Year's Eve me and my wife We go to this dinner. We have any great dinner. It's New Year's and then the waiter comes over and he spills I drink on me and He's very apologetic and I was like it's okay And he gets me a tall and I'm wiping it up.
Starting point is 01:11:45 And then he says to me, I say to him, I go, I go, I'm very sorry, sir. And he goes, well, that's okay. Usually when you spill something on somebody that comes with a free bottle of champagne, doesn't it? And he went, I'm sorry, what? I said, usually when you, if something like this happens, it comes with a free bottle of champagne, right? And then he was like, absolutely, sir, comes with a free, and he went and got a bottle of champagne, right? And there was an absolute shirt.
Starting point is 01:12:05 It comes with a free, and he went and got a bottle of champagne. And we had a champagne and I was like, you're a fucking ton. Wow. That came out of his fucking dick. Have you ever waited tables? What is the moral of that story? I don't even know.
Starting point is 01:12:17 Maybe he was testing a bit. I was so, I don't know. I go, I went, what the fuck does that mean? Yeah. Yeah. But then he what the fuck does that mean? Yeah, yeah. But then he had these two dogs that would go, we had to, whatever. I never saw this fucking piece of shit again.
Starting point is 01:12:32 He's bad at his job that has no, you know, I don't know. $270 an hour. Yeah, that, that one. $270 an hour midtown. This guy saw people all day every day. That's what he had tons of cash. So the freed makes the headline.
Starting point is 01:12:44 Yeah, that's crazy. That's 270, huh? I can only sell a couple of T-shirts. So now I go over to this guy. First session, I tell him, I go, look, you're not making me into a fucking pussy. He goes, you already are. You're here.
Starting point is 01:12:59 He goes, real men don't do therapy. All right, so, and I was just a joke. I laughed, that's funny. He goes, sit the fuck down. How's the guy yelling at me? Because he, I mean him, we can yell, I yell at him. We screaming, yell. I'm like, fuck you.
Starting point is 01:13:13 He's like, well, fuck you. He goes, my turn now, go fuck yourself. And we have these, because he's a, he's a, you know, old Jew from East Village that used to, you know, when they were gangs and shit, he had a fight all the time, so he's not a, he has a temper too, so we relate on the same level and he knows comics and he knows our business and he's just the guy for me, dude.
Starting point is 01:13:36 I can't go to some pretentious asshole with a bow tie. I go to this fucking guy, and he works on a scale. And he works on a scale, so people who can't afford his rate, you know, which, you know. I mean, it's for some people, you know. Yeah, you people.
Starting point is 01:13:54 We mean what do you black? You never, you never, you just, that's that. I look at him, I'm not trash and you are coming at you. I think that's very interesting to me that you don't have. I mean I think we all got you. Maybe I don't know. I But it is people out there that aren't fucking that don't need it that don't have Alcoholics or drug addicts don't have addictive behavior don't need to go to therapy and and live their lives fine I mean, I've never you like the first one I've ever met
Starting point is 01:14:22 You know you and your fucking box of lonely t-shirts that you got in the South. We have a dude. Listen, those are your fans. We've heard of you. The dudes. The dudes. The dudes.
Starting point is 01:14:33 No, some people don't. Some people don't. Some people do and don't. Some, you know, I do. And Joe does too. Do you go to therapy, Jason? Yeah, I actually lost my therapist because. Died? No, I mean mean we were making a lot of progress
Starting point is 01:14:48 over all sorts of issues. I'm a bag of cats. I got a whole bunch of shit going on and I'm sorry. What did you say you are? My head it's a bag of cats. It's dogs breakfast Isn't helping out your dogs breakfast? Yeah, it's fucked. Yeah. I didn't think on the regs. Nothing would make me more angry than on the regs except as dogs breakfast. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:13 That's an old saying. All right, go ahead. Well, he leaned in one day and he went, listen, I have an idea for a children's book and I can't find an illustrator. The catch is, if you take this job, I can't be your therapist anymore. And so I took the job and now I don't have a therapist. Was it worth it?
Starting point is 01:15:32 Yeah. No, it was good money, but I was like, wow, I chose money over getting better in my head to now I'm fucked again. It's not you, your therapist is a fucking legal. He's an asshole, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a fucking crit.
Starting point is 01:15:41 That's illegal. No, no, no, he said it'll be illegal if he keeps being my therapist. No, it's illegal. He, no, no, he said it'll be illegal if he keeps being my therapist. No, it's illegal. He said I have to stop being a therapist. Morally illegal what he did. Unethical. That's an illegal.
Starting point is 01:15:51 Yeah, so I left. I think more morally illegal work to. It's not a more severe. Thanks. Thanks fucking Jay to the fucking two, two. That's actually, you're getting into it. You're getting into it. You're enjoying yourself, Bobby. two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two Yeah, there you go free bottle of water for that one. That's yours. This is my joke. Oh, I say Jesus Christ. Joe what the fuck? It's thrilled to get paid
Starting point is 01:16:33 What the fuck a dentist give you Nova can on your funny bone? Wow, there it is First fucking bomb and um, proud of you in a little pain right now with your mouth. I don't know anymore I don't know anymore. I don't know what is what anymore. Did he give you no vacan? No, he just looked at my tea, it took X-rays. And he's like, I don't know what to tell you.
Starting point is 01:16:52 He's like, he look fine. He's like, whoever did this root canal. He's like, why aren't you at that dentist? I was like, I hated him. He's like, well, why'd you hate him? I was like, he was giving me a root canal. And then he said, he did a great job. And your teeth look fine.
Starting point is 01:17:01 And I was like, what can anxiety cause teeth pain? Yada, yada. And then he said, I think, I don't know. You know what else causes teeth pain? Well, sinus infections. Yeah, sinus headache. There's a trigeminal vein that goes like this, okay, through your sinuses.
Starting point is 01:17:17 And if you have bad sinuses, it goes into your teeth and it will fuck your teeth up. Yeah. It hurts. It feels like your teeth are falling out. Yeah. I hate it. I've had that. This is different. I think it's also crowding because I have a new crown in there. It's a little bigger and my teeth are all moving around a couple weeks ago. Yeah. Your teeth does look like a, your bottom row of teeth looks like a protest. It looks like. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:38 It looks like a pet cemetery. It's a nightmare. I gotta go. I'm going on Monday to the same place to get in a visoline fucking. Oh, they're great. They're great. I had them. You took it. Yeah, how much money the cost? You got good thousands I mean I was in high school. So I'm a parents pay for him. That's great. I mean, visoline when you were in high school. Yeah, I bet you question. Do you have a fuck Lauren? No, okay. I'll get him someday. I'll get him someday. Wow Wow, that's came out to dream. People are like this, no.
Starting point is 01:18:07 Scobo, you fuck more. No. I was gonna say Lauren, please. Oh, please. Don't. Ask your parents how much it cost. To fuck me? 225.
Starting point is 01:18:19 You serious? Dead serious. A lot of Louis money, must. 225 You sure? Dead serious a lot of Louis money Because 220 about a fine fucking buyer Fucking Lauren's fucking podcast Well Joe, I'm glad that you go to therapy and I think Alan will help you. You know, but again, it's.
Starting point is 01:18:49 What? What? Wow. What? What do you mean? What are you doing? I was going to go to the bathroom. Oh, okay. I'm going to myself out.
Starting point is 01:18:57 So you are flawed. Yes, you can't hold your pee for an hour. You should see somebody about that. And that fucking hoodie. I don't know how I got nothing. He really is a fucking, just a flawless asshole. I think it's good that you go therapy. I think therapy is good.
Starting point is 01:19:18 It's a place you can, you know what you get to go and I said this before that you get to go. And it's a neutral place. It's a say you can you can say whatever the fuck you want about anybody. Do you work? Yes. Thank God. What if your therapist is black?
Starting point is 01:19:33 Actually, Alan, that would be the day. It's weird black people don't go to therapy. No, they have like their own version of therapy. What? The barbershop soup. Yeah yeah barbershop is literally some yes they all say that's like black people there is a barbershop well some black people are not as financially advanced as some there being held back fuck is that mean they're being held back systematically is what it means Bobby but what does that have to do with
Starting point is 01:20:00 therapy some people can't afford therapy so black people can't afford therapy is that what you're saying many of them many white people also of course too I wish I didn't have to do with therapy. Some people can't afford therapy. So black people can't afford therapy, is that what you're saying? Many of them, many white people also of course too. I wish I didn't start talking. What are you trying to put cornering and pushing him to? I'm just saying that, you know, some of these African Americans are very unfortunate. I don't know if you've read the paper or watched the documentary, the 13th.
Starting point is 01:20:19 Oh, you, did you, you have a fucking podcast coming out on the fucking, you know, me and that work? What the fuck is going on? No, I was hanging out with Stavros. Oh yeah, we're all mixing up. Oh that fucking liberal twat. I love that angry he makes you. Oh because he's a fucking, he just says dumb shit.
Starting point is 01:20:37 You wind him up but then now he knows how to wind you up. No, it's actually the other way around. Yeah, he used to get me at first but now I just fucking really trigger him. And in the last couple of times, we went on the road together. Man, does he get hot quick? And then I just walk away. I go, you want chocolate?
Starting point is 01:20:50 He's like, how have you got me? He's so unethotic. We went bowling the other day. Are you gonna have this conversation with me? You're an athletic. What? What? Stavros is a star football player at his high school.
Starting point is 01:21:02 Really? Yeah. Oh, wait. He went to an all black school. What are you kidding? You know, you know, no Stavros is a star football player at his high school. Really? Yeah. Oh, wait. He went to an all black school. What are you kidding? You know, you know, no Stavros. Yeah, Stavros hung out with all black guys, did he grew up in Baltimore? Yeah, he is.
Starting point is 01:21:12 Well, this bowling is still in show it. Well, bowling is an athletic, are you fucking? Yeah, it's a little athletic, yeah. Bowling? Yeah. Oh, I think you were saying it because he had black friends. Black people like to bowl, I think. No, they because he had black friends Black people like to bowl I think no they don't know they do Some do they're very into bowling name one black baller
Starting point is 01:21:34 Professional oh there's a there's a football player that's a good black bowler. Yeah, no, they're into it They're into it. Yeah, yeah, this is something. Yeah, I think there's something to this. You're fucking nuts. I think I saw one black Eyeball and I was like that's it for me. Listen, first of all black people don't bowl. We're here of the Super Bowl. There you go. I have all black Wow, that squeezed out Black people do not bow black people do not bow There is a really good football player who's like, a baller.
Starting point is 01:22:06 He wants to go, but he's first a football player. Okay. Wait, if he retire, he says he's going to be a baller. That's Chris Paul. Chris Paul is a big bowler. I know that because he had that celebrity league. Yes, there's a bunch of them. That's a big thing.
Starting point is 01:22:19 That's one. Yeah. That's one. No, that's the old thing. Loud in movie theaters, big bowlers. That's how it goes. I don't know. I'm not gonna do that.
Starting point is 01:22:28 Go back to Google. It says black. Oh, and black bowlers. Hall of Fame. Yeah, there's three people in it. I could see Keith Robinson having bowling, having like a bag in his own shoes. Right there.
Starting point is 01:22:39 Black bowlers. Hall of Fame. First of all, black people are taking their shoes off and putting although shoes with one thing. That's what they get. They're getting no, they're't taking their shoes off and putting, although shoes with white people have their own jackets too. They're getting their own ones. Look at them, they have their own jackets too. Yep, there it is.
Starting point is 01:22:51 Dude, those are rich black people that were actually did another sport to become famous that are doing bowling for shits and giggles. There's no, I'm talking about a guy who makes money off of bowling. There's no black guy that makes his living off of bowling. It's all white people. You're talking about a hobby, you can't.
Starting point is 01:23:11 Okay, I'm sure there's a black archer, okay? That doesn't mean that most archers are fucking white dudes. You wanna say what I'm saying? Yeah, but what's that we're talking about black people being in the bowling? Like, they're not in the fucking bowling. It's a white, but- It's not that I always let me say some good any bowling alley It's fucking white meth heads and fat white guys. Yeah, and dumb white kids
Starting point is 01:23:33 You're the right ones if you go to a strip club. It's all white dudes and meth heads and then you go to like the one in the Bronx You gotta go black Yeah, the king of the one I think Monroe is a boulder The king of the one is fucking one. Did you talk about that last night? There's no black chubby one. I think Monroe is a bowler. Monroe does anything that white people do. He's trying to get a show. Clark soccer.
Starting point is 01:23:51 Monroe looks bullish. The guys at the stand were like, Monroe, you have to bowl. White people bowling or golfing, you pick. This is what they like. Well, maybe if you had some black people on the goddamn show. I have black people on the show. You got an old black show, too.
Starting point is 01:24:03 And all black show, two of day of February at all blacks gross Call it Keith Robertser right now. Oh, they'll tell you. Yeah, they'll tell you this is a black He's a bowling is a black thing asking if he has his own sag and shoes Black people into bowling his end of his own luggage give him 10 more rings It's gonna take him a while. Why is he gonna take him a while? Hello Okay, you're on oh, we have a look at I'm I'm fighting with these guys on my podcast and I need I know you'll tell us honestly The black people bowl Black people yes And I need I know you'll tell us honestly the black people bowl Wait a second slow down right uh... uh...
Starting point is 01:25:06 people uh... uh... uh... uh... right then the black people go to therapy uh... uh...
Starting point is 01:25:24 uh... uh... What's the one what's the one? So there you go motherfucker Yeah, well you got me All right, goodbye What? Yeah We got no We go I didn't know black people both black people swim too lot of them have great strokes. All right. Wow.
Starting point is 01:25:52 Wow. Oh, geez. That was probably the best Keith Robinson stroke joke. Voss's when they did the pretzels benefit he goes a case had to go up early on the show He has to be backed by the stroke of midnight That was probably a better one. I think yeah listen I didn't know that black people ball who fuck it's a thing I went my work at sears. We had a bunch of black guys that worked with us and that was their thing
Starting point is 01:26:17 They were all bull guys you worked at sears. What did you do at sear lost prevention? Got shoplifters. I was the best in the biz too. You were dealing with a lot of blank people No, isn't Burlington so We watched every blank person that came in I can tell you that I got to stop to these jokes. It's the times have changed. You can't make the jokes anymore No, it's all black people not here. You could if they were here Keith was just here It's spirit. I didn't know you worked at Sears. I worked at Sears for years. Sears for years.
Starting point is 01:26:46 That's my maiden name. Sears for years? Yes. What the fuck did you just say? Wait a minute. Sears is my maiden name. What are you sitting on a fortune? I swear.
Starting point is 01:26:55 I got to ask that my whole life. What does it mean? I think it's like Native American Irish. I don't know. Are you Native American? Those are two drastically different things Terri key and wait what? But did you fuck Scropo? Nailie got it.
Starting point is 01:27:10 Ryan. We got it. We got it by the end of the day. It felt like we got the jar top jiggle on it. Did you fuck walks with Big Butt? That's the name of the show. What's the big guy the show. That's what they got. Put it down. Oh, wow. I think you saw that in the video.
Starting point is 01:27:32 Show this. That was amazing. Oh, that should be a shirt. That's amazing. Oh my god. That's the week that he's. Oh my god. I didn't know you America.
Starting point is 01:27:43 A Native American. Yeah, like 5%. that's what my grandmother's She's lying. I know you have a dark Complexion Yeah, but you hear is straight. Yeah, yeah, is it like that? Is it stringy like that regularly? I Think you working at sears must have been the did you like it or did you hate it? No I loved it. Well my cousin was the boss which was great and we caught shoppers.
Starting point is 01:28:13 So we were in street clothes or whatever and we just walked around the video. Undercover. We were undercover brothers and that's like the one cool job at Sears. Oh my god. There was pretty cool job at the mall. I've always wanted to be that guy. Really? Because I always felt like when I even now that I don't steal,
Starting point is 01:28:30 I feel now when I'm walking around that that guy is following me just because of my profile when I walk in, just ball guy hoodie, back back, he's stealing something. Can you name it? So, I'm that was obvious. Where am I? I might have fucking CVS. But I feel like in those type of stores, I love to be the other cover guy.
Starting point is 01:28:54 Oh, of course. That's like when someone says they work for the government and you're like, oh, what do you do? Say, agent, yeah, you're that of C. How old were you when you did that? I was, uh, until I moved to 05, 07, so 23 to 25. So when you caught something, did you, when you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're that of C. How old were you when you did that? I was, uh, until I moved to, oh, five, oh, seven, so 23 to 25. So did you, when you cons, I mean, did you,
Starting point is 01:29:09 when you saw somebody walk in, we were like, we gotta watch that guy. Yeah, well, I was really good at catching people. I was highly skilled, but I was always afraid to stop people because I'm a pussy and they're, that's nerve wrecking. What did you do? Did you, did you, to like, physically detain people?
Starting point is 01:29:24 Well, we would stop them, but like we can't physically touch anybody. And so this is the key, but I learned a lot about stealing. If you steal, just don't go back with the person. Just go, just keep going. Because they can't catch you. Yeah, we can't do anything. But some people will, like, you know, there's guys that fucking will do that.
Starting point is 01:29:42 But it's also, but a guy like you walks out and says, hey, stop and I can go no and just keep going. Yes, but you just go, stop. You're like, hey, we saw you do this. Yeah, yeah. And then we would call the cops and stuff. But we had a bunch of big black guys that worked for us,
Starting point is 01:29:57 which was nice. Because one time I stopped at two teenagers and they were like, what the fuck are you gonna do? And then my friend Marquis came out and they were like, Yes. Because why people were afraid of black people? Yeah. And black people respect black people.
Starting point is 01:30:08 And black people ball. There's a reason it's a 100% black dormant here at the Comedy Cellar. Yeah, it is. It's nice. Because the black guy goes up to a black table and goes, hey, you guys gonna shut up and like, I'm sorry, play a whatever champ.
Starting point is 01:30:21 And they go to go, yeah. They walk up the yo-yo son. You go, keep it down, son. All right, man, I get you. All right, yo son, you go keep it down son. All right, man, I get you. All right, cool. Right, right. But I like that. I mean, that's how Steve did it.
Starting point is 01:30:31 I like how he walks up. It's like, hey, guys, you got to keep it down. Hey, guy, what? I said, you got to keep it down. We told you when you came in that you heard the announcement at the beginning of the show, there's no talking. Yo, we're just ordering. All right, well, you know, can you just try a little softer
Starting point is 01:30:45 if you're OK? Were they ordering? Oh, OK, sorry, guys. Big black eye walks up. Yo, yo, keep that shit down. All right, so I play. We'll just get wings. Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 01:30:56 But keep that shit down. Wings are good, though. This guy in the couch really saved you. No, boy, I was going gonna keep acting until somebody got it But anyways, yeah, it was fun. It was great We had junkies that would steal a bunch of shit and there's a lot of teenage what did they steal? They'd steal huge toolkit. Well, they know that a felony and Massachusetts at the time was $250 They would try to steal something that costs $240
Starting point is 01:31:23 Yeah, there was a lot of that. These are smart. Yeah, well they've done it a lot. So they would steal stuff and they would turn it for gift cards and then sell the gift cards and went, but yeah, so they would try to get under $250. And then it was a lot of teenage girls stealing costume jewelry, which was fun because they would cry and stuff. Well, you make a girl cry?
Starting point is 01:31:41 Not purposefully. They were stealing. You give a pat, you give a pat him down. No, I never did anything unethical. But I did masturbate in the interrogation room one time. Why? Nobody else was in there. What did she steal?
Starting point is 01:31:53 No, there was nobody in there. I just went over there and I remember. And that's no, it was just an office. Are you just joking off? You were joking off to your friend and interrogate a young girl? But I was 23, so you know, you're very horny at that time. You jerked off in a fucking interrogation room?
Starting point is 01:32:06 Yeah. Why? On the desk. What, you lying on the desk? What, because they're lying in my head for off with a bunch of hoodies. And did you, are those hoodies that were stolen? Yeah, it's all stolen goods in there.
Starting point is 01:32:18 There's no cameras in there. So he's a screshing guy. No, no cameras. Did you lock the door? Yeah, that's a locked door. You know what I mean? You know that that hoodie was bought by somebody later and just to know that fucking Joe's head
Starting point is 01:32:29 but he's jerking off. Did you have herpes then? It's so disturbing. No, no herpes at the time. So you jerked off, now what'd you do? How'd you clean it up? To choose. What is?
Starting point is 01:32:38 No, a couple of to choose. And then went back to work. I know, he clears your head out a little bit, you know. Yeah, but what if somebody walked in? It was just me and this one lady, Lisa, who's like kind of middle aged and, uh, sexy in a way, but it would have been, it would have been uncomfortable for sure. But I would have hit the keys jingling in the door. I think so.
Starting point is 01:32:57 And then what were you? Well, she has to stay. One part says it's a remain in the office at all times. So I was the road in the interrogation room. Isn't there a camera? No, no camera. That way we could fucking slap more in a little bit. Or ourselves around.
Starting point is 01:33:10 Oh, all right. Sorry, I brought it up. Sorry, my energy's a little low. I feel like I was having a panic attack earlier that guy touched my teeth. My teeth still hurt. I'm gay. Do you want an Advil?
Starting point is 01:33:21 No, I'm good. Thank you. I appreciate it. Anyways, what was your last job? Did you have a job? I worked I saw life insurance. Where? At a insurance company. No, I know in New York City here. You should. Yeah. I was cold calling every day and selling life insurance. I'm new. It's a great attitude. It was fun. Yeah. I mean like because your life is perfect. Yeah. You know what? I just like you fail.
Starting point is 01:33:46 It's fun. I can't wait. I'm here. I don't know. He came here in 10 minutes. I don't know what I'm going to do. Yeah. I hope there's a ship and it goes down here on an island by yourself.
Starting point is 01:33:57 You have to learn it. I love it. He's come back with a beer. He would. He would. I'd be like, y'all, the primo reyes. Yeah. You would. You come back with a book. Oh, man.
Starting point is 01:34:09 You come back with a book written in coconut fucking leaves. I'd be wearing the coconut. The number one bef seller. That'd be, yeah, that'd be my new swimsuit just to cover nothing in front of my balls. I'd have a Joeless Tan. I'd be, uh, you've had the new game with coconuts. Yeah, that's why it's up in the new flip cup. Yeah. And just new game with coconuts. Yeah, the new flip cup.
Starting point is 01:34:25 Yeah. And just done with the bros. Yeah. Well, you still have a job too, Jason. Your job is art, but what did you do before? Yeah, I had a ton of shitty jobs. I was selling hot dogs out the front of a hot west door for years. What?
Starting point is 01:34:41 Yeah, I was selling hot dogs out the front of a hot west door. Is that, that seems weird for America, but was that in Australia? Yeah, it's not that weird. So it's not that weird. Yeah, yeah. Like a hot dog cart? Yeah, like a hot dog cart in the sun for like 10 hours a day. Did you have an umbrella?
Starting point is 01:34:55 Yeah, but it was broken, so I didn't work. Why don't you just go buy one? Cause in the hardware store. You would think, but the guy who ran the store was really cheap. He was like, no, no, I'm below. How many times did you masturbate on top of the car? The red dance. No.
Starting point is 01:35:07 You won't play with that. I don't know. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I had some shitty jobs. I worked in a pizza hut, and I worked at a salon dogs, and I worked in a printing house, like with a guillotine,
Starting point is 01:35:21 like cutting printing stuff and designing. Yeah. Just boring jobs, just shitty boring jobs. Look at this, it was a paper cutter. A paper cutter. A guillotine? Yeah, yeah, yeah, they call it a guillotine. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you're cutting big stacks of paper,
Starting point is 01:35:36 they use a guillotine. Oh, wow. Those podcasts could knock you. I don't know why, what the fuck? Really hit a death spot. I was going to dig into it. I just wanted to keep going. Kits it.
Starting point is 01:35:46 What is it? Kits me. Yeah, people got it. Oh boy. We got it. Boring. Fucking 19 people just get that water bottle. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I I never called me. Yeah, he's gonna call you. He's a busy guy. His name's Alex.
Starting point is 01:36:05 I'm busy too. His dad is actually a famous cartoonist. That's how I know him. I wasn't responsible for Thanksgiving. That's where I met him. Well, I plug this guy's fucking product. This is the end date. Do you want to give you a call?
Starting point is 01:36:16 Can you please tell him they just fucked me? Here's what they just fucked me. I fucked my, it's my fault. What'd you do? I fucked myself. I ordered four of them. Yeah. Okay. I ordered four of them. Four pack. Hydra. I fucked my it's my fault. I do. I fucked myself. I ordered four of them. Yeah. Okay. I ordered four of them. Four pack. I got mine. It's hydrate sparks. It's the smart water bottle. It
Starting point is 01:36:31 reminds you to drink water all day. It's up to your phone and it also tells you how much you've drunk. Yeah. How much does it have? It's a bit water bottle. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. And it's good for me when I travel because it makes me drink water. Yes, of course. So I got gifts for people that's Christmas. I bought them and they weren't coming. And I was like, what the fuck? And then you told me to your friend. And so then they sent me a thing. Hey, you want to fill it a survey?
Starting point is 01:36:55 How about you send me my bottles first? Right. And I'll fill out your fucking survey. Yeah, maybe one of those bottles. So I go and I look and they're canceled, right? Well, I fucked up. I ordered them Fucking dick it. So then they're like hey, just reorder them right now Mm-hmm, and we'll make sure you get them right away. So I reorder four more
Starting point is 01:37:15 And I didn't I can't I what happened was is I ordered four of them and canceled that order Because they had a better deal and I ordered two at a time. So I got fucking aint of these things coming. You got to start doing giveaways on the show now. You're gonna tough of your for cancellations. Can I have one? Yeah. Yeah. That hurt.
Starting point is 01:37:36 Oh. That hurt. That's right. That hurt my feelings. Oh boy. I'm sorry, I did not mean to hurt your feelings. I just wanted to make it hurt. My feelings when you implied the show is boring. So I thought I better step it up and then I saw an opportunity and I took mean to hurt your feelings. I just wanted to make it hurt my feelings when you implied the show is boring
Starting point is 01:37:45 So I thought I better step it up and then I saw an opportunity and I took it and if your feelings were hurt I apologize. Bam, but that's the price you pay. I have a detaining show if I can defend Bobby It was about his guillotine story So you really if I may defend my own comment. I see us all as one unit personally. Okay, not individuals. Well, thanks for the D-Fa. The what? D-Fa. D-Fa? Yeah. He only had a lot to learn.
Starting point is 01:38:15 You're a D-Fa. You're a D-Fa. I loved it. I saw that man. I was very big fan of it. Oh boy. They found the jersey. Yeah, I want to talk about that. They found this mother. They found the Mexico. What? And they have video of the guy stealing it and nobody's been doing it for years this is like I really yeah with the giants they said when they
Starting point is 01:38:34 he lost the Giants he lost the Giants they stole that one too yeah you're gonna send Joe in he'll find you saw what he just did right what he do yeah he's how he just hit you know he brought up the fight we're talking about Brady the goat and this cock suck has got a good have seven on those but he doesn't he has five Yeah, because I Tweeted this the day after the super well Giants fans the only ones that talk shit after a super bowl their team wasn't involved Yeah, it's like yeah, but what about that you're like, well, yeah, you're not even playing We got right now. I'll tell you why because I can I ask enough of this? How did this dude steal the jersey?
Starting point is 01:39:07 Well, like, does he walk for the end of that? He walks for the credentials. He has credentials to like, he has from some Mexican newspaper. He has credentials to every event. So they let them in because they're like, oh, he's from the Mexican paper. Like, there's so much chaos going on. Like, oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:39:20 They're just going to Super Bowl. So they, they, they probably, they, yeah. I'm a Trump, they should build that wall. Quinted up for the next show show ball now we can build it for sure No, we got the jersey back and fucking cock soccer walked in like he was the we had he had a what's it? A photo he had a helmet too. He had what's his name's helmet. He took a helmet. He took what's the defense on the Not thermatomas not thermatomas. He was a Denver undenver. Oh
Starting point is 01:39:47 Where Steve at water? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, he had somebody's helmet and he had Two Brady jerseys not just one he took two of them. Yeah, this guy's got everything, but he took a photo with Brady Do you see the phone? That's how he does it? Yeah, he has a photo with him with Brady. Well, this is like, you know, list knowing the Steelers at Sears This guy knew how to do it. He had like a whole piece. Steve's, Steve's, Steve's, Steve's are football. This is also a civilization. So bad as fucking Brady is, the FBI, the Boston FBI was like, dude,
Starting point is 01:40:12 fuck that kid, we're getting that Jersey back. Fuck that Brady. Going down, we're gonna fucking hunt these clock sagas down to the end of the world. Well, now it's worth even more than it was before. Oh my God. Like the price just goes up. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:40:24 I got a bad view as old. There's a story to God. The price just goes up. Yeah, it got a bad. He was old. There's a story to it. It smells like fucking tacos. Yeah. Did they find the guy with it or just the jersey? Oh, he's been fired. He actually sent in his regsignation.
Starting point is 01:40:36 His regsign is regsign. He almost killed his regsign. His regsign. His regsign is to the New Year's Eve. And told them that he was, May you never sell a t-shirt. May you live in these t-shirts forever. I hope you have to wear your t-shirt someday.
Starting point is 01:40:54 That helped me too. That would be great. Onstage to promote the t-shirt. I'm fucking a libel. This guy walks in, they have the video from walking in, grabs the shirt, walks the fuck out. It's crazy.
Starting point is 01:41:07 And, and, and, and it's funny that they even like, it's funny that we're, I'm important that shirt is. I'm important that shirt is. I became a big deal. Yeah. But, like, what makes that shirt important? I know what a damn boy. I know game, is it really that much fun?
Starting point is 01:41:21 No, but, no, there's this whole thing with Brady because he got suspended under weird terms that it's like we defend him to any length with anything now. So like this jersey is another thing that, no, we gotta protect the goal. I don't think the, usually they change jerseys at half time. I think this half time he didn't change jerseys
Starting point is 01:41:39 and that's why it's so much money. There's only, do they change jerseys at half times? Certain players do. Like Brady will change the jersey. Really? Yeah. So he could sell it.
Starting point is 01:41:48 You could sell it on like Starter Sports will come in and say, oh, we could sell this jersey. It was Game War and this game. How much is a jersey? Will you pull up how much these jersey's a spend? Oh, how much? Thousands and thousands. Well, I heard Game War.
Starting point is 01:42:00 I heard a 500 grand is what this one's. Game War and this one's a lot. This jersey will be 500,000 dollars. They might as well go up. They were saying 500 grand is what this game won't you this Jersey will be 500,000 dollars it might just gonna go up they were saying 500 gram before they got it. I fuck you dude. This is like Brady pulls in Jared five a half a billion dollars for a Jersey. Yeah, it's only worth What's all that Brady? Boy, can you not tell me the fucking realism I get how it works you shit dick. I'm just Work with it. Yeah, someone's gonna pay I Yeah, fucking I'm ordered not for it
Starting point is 01:42:32 It is what it is You just do that all day long 800,000 on 800 thousand dollars000. Keep moving on. $800,000. Keep on keeping on. Is it really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Holy shit.
Starting point is 01:42:50 Yep. Could you imagine that? Could you imagine that? Who gets that money? The money to blow is crazy. Who gets that money? Where does that go back to Brady? No, like that.
Starting point is 01:42:58 It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, organization. Like, Stonersport is a big, yeah, they have a contract with Brady. So basically they'll take the Jersey, they'll sell it, what they sell for, they'll probably get a very percentage of the Jersey. Yeah. So he'll make a couple hundred thousand dollars. He makes Stonersport said they do two signs
Starting point is 01:43:17 with Brady a year each signing. He, they give him up to seven figures. Just for an hour of signing. He just gave me a number. I hate when people say he's the guy that they got it and say the number. He said, I'm not I'm not going to research it. It could be the man.
Starting point is 01:43:30 I don't know. He could be. Just make it up. $9.5 million. You're lying. That's not true. It's seven figures. Nine point five.
Starting point is 01:43:38 He'd made the number up at least a million dollars for signing his fucking name for an hour. Well, first of all, he should get it because he's fucking brave. He don't say like it's not, he should get it. And he's not the highest. He's the eighth paid highest quarterback. Well, he took a pay cut. I'm for everyone.
Starting point is 01:43:53 That's why he's a good guy. Took a pay cuts. Not a good guy. The goat. Say the goat. He's the goat. All right. He would have seven.
Starting point is 01:44:01 When your wife is out making you like, she is, he can take pay cuts. You know, like that's yeah but he looks he but he's taking a perfect situation this is the fucking best yeah I mean everything unbelievable this guy fucking stole any stolen a bunch of other shit yeah this is this game wow Thomas crown this guy Thomas Thomas let's wrap this fight. What are you doing over that? I just got here. Hey, what are you doing? We got a meeting to go to what do you mean? We have that meeting today Oh, we have a big meeting. We you're over there too laughable.com Ah the newest app out there for podcasting you like podcasting. It's the best this app is the
Starting point is 01:44:40 Is it is a game changer? He's shaking your head, because you know it? Do you like it? Yeah, I heard it on this show. You heard it on this show? Yeah, but I use the, you know what, dude app, I prefer that better. Well, you like it, you know it, because you like me, but this app, I'll tell you why this app is phenomenal. And I use it to listen to shows.
Starting point is 01:44:57 It's amazing. Because, all right, you guys are all on the show now. So when this episode comes out next week, if we do it, if it makes it, well, uh, after they review it and make sure you keep the guillotine bit in. They have Joe, Joe up there, you little face, right? Yeah. And then you click on you and it brings up every podcast you were ever on. If you type in Chris Scopo, both podcasts, he's been on with show. Excuse me. My podcast is on that laughable app but really this one in that one
Starting point is 01:45:26 that's not my own podcast i know that's what he's got though it's like google for podcasts and it's fucking yeah that's so smart everyone knows you can't google podcasts on google all right the first major of two thousand seventeen is next week and celebrate DraftKings.com is hosting a free fantasy golf contest with a hundred thousand dollars in total prizes. It's up for grabs for you. Whether you live in Breed Golf or you just look at a try a new fantasy sport. Now the football's over, one week fantasy golf at DraftKings.com is for you.
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Starting point is 01:47:10 See DraftKings.com for details. Bobo. Bobo. Who's this? David. David. David. We come from David.
Starting point is 01:47:20 Pittsburgh. Where? Pittsburgh. We take calls. Yeah. What's up, buddy? We're just talking about DraftKings.com. I'm not sure if you can get a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a
Starting point is 01:47:28 little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a
Starting point is 01:47:37 little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a No, no, we can talk about this good Well, yeah, he um he mentioned like the I don't know I guess you guys meant the street or something and yeah
Starting point is 01:47:51 Pete's little conversation Hey, yeah I don't know I was wondering what it was here and because obviously he's uh well here's here's a pro I'll tell you, what's that? What was the last point? No, I was just saying, everything that comes from him is like, you know, obviously from Kevin's point of view.
Starting point is 01:48:15 Yeah, I don't have a sh... Look, I'm gonna tell you right now, my show is not based on controversy, my show is not, I don't need to tell somebody they're fucking cunt or a fucking say the N word or get in a fight with somebody to get people to listen to my show. That's not my thing.
Starting point is 01:48:32 I don't lie, I don't fucking bullshit. I never fucking say shit to really get people going. I like to have a good time. I like to have a bunch of comics on, I know, and don't know and have fun. So when I'm telling you this, I'm not telling you this to stir things up. I'm not telling you this to get people to hate me or like me or hate Kevin. I want everybody to go listen to Kevin show.
Starting point is 01:48:53 I would love everybody to go subscribe to that network and be a member. And, you know, I love, of course, Anthony and all the shows. I like all the people over there. Pat Dixon is, I love, he's, Anthony and all the shows. I like all the people over there. Pat Dixon is a friend of mine. His wife is actually on our network here. And you understand that guy, Kevin Brennan, was in a hallway, didn't know podcasting existed. I saw him and came up with the name, the photo.
Starting point is 01:49:23 I took the photos myself. I put everybody, you know, Lenny involved and Liz got involved. And the studio, we worked our asses off to give him a platform because I believe Kevin should be doing a podcast. That's me. Kevin, before Kevin, Kevin didn't come to me and say, hey, I want to do a podcast. I went to him and said, you should do a podcast.
Starting point is 01:49:46 Uh, I understand his method, you know, it's say fucked up shit about people that nobody would say. And you guys go fucking ballistic. Holy shit. It's, wow, he's being honest and real. And I think Kevin, I don't think Kevin's bang boozling you. I think what he says, he means. And when he says, you know,
Starting point is 01:50:05 fuck Bob Kelly, a blah, blah, blah, and fuck riot cast, that's how he feels, okay? I really didn't really, I mean, it was just, well, what happened was is that when you text message me to my personal phone and say, you know, fuck you, well, you know, let's talk. And you guys talk it out, you talk it out. It was, yeah, and then, you know, let's talk. And you guys talk it out. You talk it out.
Starting point is 01:50:26 It was, yeah. And then at the end, it was fine. I just, I listen, here's a deal. I said, go fuck yourself. And he's like, well, what do you want me to, I mean, look, I have the whole conversation recorded. Okay. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:50:41 Yeah, oh shit is right. So, you know, but here's a deal. You could, you know, you know, but here's a deal You could you know you know he understands what he does he fucking says crazy shit you guys go fucking nuts You dicks get hard you jizz all over each other and you fuck wherever you listen to it this guys this guy's the real deal Right I'm cool with that You know fuck Bob fuck ride cast. I want money. I get it. You know, it's cool. I tried to make the guy money. Our format didn't work. You know, he wanted to do a show at Kumi and network and riot cast.
Starting point is 01:51:19 That's not gonna fucking work, you know, for us. Why, why doesn't that just curious? Why does, I'll tell you why, because here's the deal. I'm not gonna put all my time and fucking effort into promoting your show and then have you just go somewhere else and they get money. So, they're gonna get subscribers and money and I ain't gonna get shit. So you won't fucking, you won't go behind to pay wall over here, but you'll go on a we'll go behind to pay wall over there How does that fucking make sense to me? So I came up with the name. I came up with the show. I told you who you should do how you should do it
Starting point is 01:52:00 The whole fucking concept of it the microphone the studio. I told all my listeners for a year Everybody on the network all my YKWD fans go and listen to this show. I've promoted it and Now this is meanwhile. He's literally telling me to go fuck myself never promoted my show Never said anybody go to a gig never said hey, Bobby's a good guy blah blah just fuck Bobby Fuck Rob fuck riot cast Meanwhile, I'm telling people oh you got to listen to him. He's got a great show, right? Okay, so now you say now you say to me. Oh, I want to go to another network and do a show over there same show Same show that you came up with your idea for for me, I wanna take that to another network.
Starting point is 01:52:48 No, and but you're gonna make money, I'm gonna make money, but you ain't making shit. So I said, you know what, just go. Just go. Just go there. I said, you should just go to the Kumi Network. They have an opportunity for you. You want to make, you know, I don't care about money.
Starting point is 01:53:10 But you don't let me make money. I don't know what you want me to do. I tried to make a money. I tried to get him behind a paywall. He wanted the money going to him. He didn't want any money going to anybody except him. You know, so I said go to I go go to Kumi and network and we worked out a deal and I signed over everything to them.
Starting point is 01:53:30 So he can go do what he wants to do so that he can go make money. Do a show. Kumi and network. I love those guys. Keith Anthony. They wanted the show, the fans wanted you got it. You guys got what you want. Okay. I'm a fucking I'm a fucking stand up comic. I'm not a I'm not a show I'm not serious satellite radio. I do this network to help stand up comics. Get podcasts. I teach them how to do it
Starting point is 01:54:07 I get people to help them and then I give them place to do it if I can Okay, it's all I everything I've done is to help Bonnie and rich and Bonnie my wife hates me Okay, I just wanted to help them do a show together because I thought they should and they did successful Okay, every show out there the shows that are coming up Christy cellos Sam Morales and and and Phil we have another show come these are just hey man You should do a show. I'm just trying to help these people have a way to do it and it's for you guys and it's fucking free Yeah, but Bobby to be fair like aren't you in a way to do it and it's for you guys and it's fucking free. Yeah, but Bobby, to be fair, like aren't you in a way, you know, making money off it at the same time?
Starting point is 01:54:52 What money? What money? What money? You don't know. Exactly. You don't fucking know. Every dime that's ever, every dime that's ever been fucked pretty much every dime that's been made has gone back into this studio
Starting point is 01:55:07 for people to use. Has gone back into shows like Kevin Brennan's. You think it's free to get a theme song, to have a graphic artist make a logo, to put up a fucking page, to change the app? That's all cost money. You know how much money Kevin Brenning made me? You know how much money Kevin Brenning sold out
Starting point is 01:55:30 the village underground via Misery Love's company. A year before Misery, he couldn't do that. Nobody knew he fucking existed. If you say Kevin Brenning's gonna be at the village underground, he wouldn't fucking sell a ticket. That podcast, and I went to my go hey man see you're making some money. These podcasts are not to get you guys to like our fucking podcasts to so you guys will like us support all of us. We support each other. My fans support everybody's fans. You guys
Starting point is 01:55:58 come see us live do our stand up comedy and you know we give you guys fans. We give the fans something else to listen to. That's it. So I don't make, if I was making, look man, if I was making a ton of cash, I don't. Our subscription shit is individual, individual shows. We don't, if we did the Anthony Kuhmir thing, we would make a ton of cash.
Starting point is 01:56:21 But I wouldn't be able to pay shows. I'd have to fuck some of the shows. So we did it the other way. We did it where you go on your merit. Your show has as many subscribers that want to subscribe to your show and you make the majority of the money. That's it. Yeah. So it's like, you know, so I, you know, Hey, man, I, my network, I, all I wanted to do, and I still, because listen, let me tell you something right now, my contract with him was solid. We could have just, he could have just sat for another year and not in a podcast. I could have banned him from the studio and said, fuck you, the show's
Starting point is 01:57:04 done. Well, made him, I and said fuck you the show's done Or made him I know I love Kevin's a look at man. I like Kevin. Of course I do I've been friends with Kevin for 15 years I I'm the one who fucking thought he should do a podcast and I'm the one who was like look Let's just let him go to Kumi his network He's gonna have an opportunity to do what the fuck he wants he can get money and he you know like he said He's gonna be bigger than any other show out there. So go do it, man. And not, you know, so that's all it is.
Starting point is 01:57:31 So all that other horse shit, you know, look, man, you wanna set you, look, you wanna, you know, the stuff me and him had arguing in the street, whatever, it's two comics arguing, screaming at each other to the street. I don't know how intimidating that is. Not at all. Yeah, it's not that really.
Starting point is 01:57:45 He makes it dramatic so you guys get all whipped up and you guys like, fuck, blah, blah, whatever. I have no animosity towards Kevin Brennan at whatsoever. I, you know what I mean? Everything I've ever done is to help Kevin Brennan sell tickets to make money and to have people. I've promoted Kevin Brennan for over a year. Okay.
Starting point is 01:58:12 You know Kevin Brennan because of riot cast and his show that I came up with. That's why you have the show, you love him. You love his show, right? To be fair the op appearance was the initial didn't even know he existed didn't even know he existed until the fucking misery loves company the opi show no no no the misery loves company was first
Starting point is 01:58:39 now he was he did one or be yeah cuz i think you went crazy yeah because i told them about fucking Kevin. Okay. Yeah. Hey, Liz, what about you? What? What about you? Kevin, Severance.
Starting point is 01:58:52 What? Don't break. You're going to hear a lot. Don't let her talk. What? No, I don't know. It just seemed like, you know, like once Lani left or whatever. It just wasn't fun anymore.
Starting point is 01:59:01 There was it was fun. When we sat there, the three of us and listened to Kevin and whatever had a good time. And then it wasn't fun. So I wasn't going anymore. It was fun when we sat there, the three of us, and listened to Kevin and whatever had a good time, and then it wasn't fun, so I wasn't gonna waste my time. Cause I'm not making money sitting here doing this. It was, you know, an hour out of my life every week. Yeah. Look, man, when it comes,
Starting point is 01:59:17 I wanna make money, I wanna, you know, fuck it, make money. And then he puts you, he, look at man, I don't ever get my fans to attack people. I never, I never round my fans up. I only tell my fans to support people. I never get my fans to hate people. There's enough fucking people in this business that are gonna stutter step and fucking stunt your growth and they're out there to fucking make it so you don't fucking succeed.
Starting point is 01:59:42 As comics, we should be helping each other. Okay, so when you start getting fans against us, it's all fucking horseshit. It's just, look, if you guys can't see through it, I don't know what to tell you. It's just, hey man, I'll say this, and you got, all the people will get whipped up and read it, will go nuts,
Starting point is 02:00:01 and then Twitter will be fucking, yeah, and it's like, all right, cool. I'm not out that you can do that shit I ain't into that shit. I'd rather take the fucking tortoise path and and have people follow me because they like me And I'd rather have my fans support all the people on my show and and fucking and and and and help You know, I want people to go see these people. That's why I have new people on every week. I want to meet them and I want my fans to know the, that's it, you know, so, you know, I hope Kevin does great at Cooomian Network
Starting point is 02:00:34 and I hope he brings some subscribers over there because, you know, if he can become the next, like he said, bigger than Marin, I hope, I, what you laughing about. Nothing. Okay. Well, I hope he does because that means he's gonna make a ton of cash. I look, the guy has kids.
Starting point is 02:00:57 He has a wife, I hope he makes money. You guys are acting like I didn't fucking, all I've done is help that guy for a year. You know much money. He's putting my pocket 11 bucks. How many time? You know what I'm saying? Have you ever heard have you ever heard him go? Hey, go listen to you know what dude? Podcasts is a good no never I've said many times many times on this show and other shows you got to go check out misery loves You got to go check out Kevin Brennan. I, you know, so I'm, you know, whatever. You know,
Starting point is 02:01:32 and they look like when I confront, when I confront them about the shit that he says, he's like, it's just for show. That's what the fans like. That's the, the, what do you, what do you think we're going to, we're going to talk about politics. They don't want that. They want when I, when I fucking say fuck him and fat fucking, that's what the what do you what do you think we're gonna we're gonna talk about politics they don't want that they want when I when I fucking say fuck him and fat fucking that's what they want to that's what I give him sorry that's what you guys want good but it does seem like that is like match I mean obviously it comes at least a little bit but it does seem naturally like he's a dickhead I mean even the way you know he's done all this shit and how he like only plugged his personal,
Starting point is 02:02:06 you know, the donation thing instead of The show. Yeah, Lenny. Lenny. You know what Lenny did for the show? You know how much work? Lenny did every day. You know what? What's work Lenny did for the show to help promote him every week that got you guys even knowing that he existed? He mean the Facebook the the Twitter, his girlfriend, his now fiance, and wife, with all the social media, if there's nothing loading the podcast, editing it,
Starting point is 02:02:31 put it, I mean, he did everything. Because that's what we do here at Rycast. We don't do shit for you. We teach you how to do it. So you have your own show. I mean, that's just our format. I mean, love it, like it or not, you know. Teach a man to fish.
Starting point is 02:02:46 You feed him for a lifetime. Yeah, teach Kevin how to fish and he fucking takes the hook and never learn. Yeah, I'm going to kick you in the country. So I mean, look, man, I don't, I don't, I can see Kevin tomorrow or not. I have no problem with him. You're a professor Xavier.
Starting point is 02:03:01 Well, the fact is is that he said some, he texted me some shit, which you know, whatever. You can say what you want on internet. I don't, I just not my thing, dude. I don't try to get people riled up on social media. You know, my podcast, you listen to it, you're gonna laugh the whole time. Maybe hear some interesting shit, whatever. I don't claim to be the mother fucker of podcasts.
Starting point is 02:03:24 I don't claim to, oh, my podcast, amen. I just hang out with a bunch of funny guys. We see what happens. I don't have fucking, I don't know what we're gonna talk about. Where we're gonna go. Sometimes like today, I don't even know who's gonna be on the fucking shelf. That's how the host does you motherfucker. So the funniest podcast on the planet earth.
Starting point is 02:03:43 You know, I mean, that's it. So as far as controversy, none. I mean, Kumi and network, you know, we're always working to help each other out. And you know, it is what it is, man. Now he's over there. So go do your thing, you know, in six months, we'll see maybe, maybe as a problem with them.
Starting point is 02:04:04 Yeah, do you see his strategy? Like it's obviously working and it's what's part of the strategy. Do you know Kevin at all? I mean, he has no strategy. He's Kevin. He's fucking crazy. That's it. But if you have a problem, yo, I'll solve it.
Starting point is 02:04:21 Check out the book on my DJ. He revolves it. I know Joe is thinking to this. I mean, look at dude, I'm happy you're a fan. I'm happy that Rycast created a show that you really like. And I'm also happy that at Cumea Network, it didn't work out here. So now Cumea Network has it and he's over there
Starting point is 02:04:40 and you can just go over there and subscribe. And it's going to be good for everybody over there but you know. I just looked it up. Marin has about 109,000 Instagram followers and Kevin has about 650 so he's almost there. He's almost there. He's almost there. He's almost there. He's almost there.
Starting point is 02:05:00 He's almost there. He's almost there. He's almost there. He's almost there. He's almost there. He's almost there. He's almost there next- Hey, funny. Ike to Marin. Funny things have happened, right? Right? So, you know, I don't know what to tell you. You know, with a show like Burning Bridges,
Starting point is 02:05:12 I'm sure that, you know, that's a big, that's, Hollywood loves Burning Bridges. You know, we're not at a Bridges. Yeah, no, I know. Yeah, oh, the fucking, yeah, Kea, there's only so many Bridges you can burn before you have to walk through the river. How was that? Was that around? No, it wasn't that bridges you can burn before you have to walk through the river how was that was that i'm not not that good i thought you know what the ruda what is it nicta paul is the only
Starting point is 02:05:30 guy that don't i can't do impressions all right so listen to it what else you got is that it you want to know anything else before i left you because this the last time i'm going to talk about it yeah um yeah i don't know i was just thinking like like you just said like obviously burning bridges will fuck you up in Entertainment and he's already I mean, that's you know, he's episode one in After a year to like it's not he's not gonna get any bigger and the entertainment industry Oh, poor Kevin. Poor Kevin.
Starting point is 02:06:02 Now I've been fucked up. I was, I was aged in that. I think people still have that. Wow. Well, I mean, he's, what is he, he already did his Monday show. He's gonna trash us for a couple weeks. And then, it's gonna get boring
Starting point is 02:06:17 because people will be like, we get it. He's fat, he's dumb, no money, fuck them. Right, oh, we get it, right? Fat dumb, no money, we get it. That's, that's the gripe with, we're fucking, you know, griot-c them, right? Oh, we got it, right? Fat dumb, no money, we got it. That's the gripe with fucking, you know, gripe cast, right? And then, you know, then he's gonna move on, hopefully to the Kumi Network.
Starting point is 02:06:33 Yeah. You know, when most people have fucking, you know, handguns on their hips, and they'll take a nice hot fucking 38 to his thigh. What's your handgun on my hip? Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, over here, he gets an argument 38 to his thigh. What's your hand going on my hip? But you know, over here, he gets an argument in front of a fucking massage parlor with me over there. He's gonna get a nice fucking 38 special to his chin in an elevator.
Starting point is 02:06:58 Hang on, loose leg. Don't let go. I think that's 38 special. It might not be. I think that's 38 special. It might not be. So there you go. So all the best to them over there and to the misery burning. What is it called now? Burning bridges. I guess. Yeah. You know, did you like the show? Um, Jimmy missed out. When Jimmy's on, it's a lot better too, because they sort of build off of their, each other's, you know, a lot better. Jimmy Martinez is on or not on the show with him. Is he on the show? He was supposed to be, and he didn't go in, he said shit about it.
Starting point is 02:07:37 He had to go to the dentist or something. So Kevin might have earned that for his already too. Well, well, Majo did that to me today, but he didn't try to punch you on your show. Yeah. Hey, man, we'll see what happens. I look at, I know, you know, we'll see what happens. We'll see hopefully, you know, hopefully it's a hit for them. Hopefully they can, they can work it out because here's the deal.
Starting point is 02:07:58 It's not my fucking problem anymore. It's not, it's not, it's not my fucking problem. You know what I mean? I got a fucking great new show coming up very soon. We have two new brand new shows coming out that I'm fucking you're gonna love. And I'm telling you right now, we got two great new shows coming out that we're replacing that with that you're gonna love. And we just are now, it's Christie Chalos and Kathy K's. What's that fucking show? That's a good one.
Starting point is 02:08:30 Talking funny. No, the other one. Sturkey Anonymous, which is fucking great. And then we got two new ones that are gonna blow, they're just gonna blow your mind, dude. I mean, I'm very excited about the announcement we're coming out. So, you know, go.
Starting point is 02:08:42 I'm just gonna go, Bobby. Sounds great. Thanks for calling up. And, you know, and we'll I'm sorry, Bobby. Sounds great. Thanks for calling up. And, you know, and we'll talk to you later, brother. All right, we got to take you have Gavin back on. Gavin, who? The tennis. Yeah, of course, I love Gavin.
Starting point is 02:08:54 I'd have him back on, of course. It was great, but him and Joe seemed pretty uncomfortable. I was like, I don't know, I love Joe, but you did not to enter his. Yeah, talk about me. I'm on the show. Oh, that was years ago. Yeah, it was a couple of years ago. Yeah. I mean, look, fucking Gavin's, you know, good point of view is that I do agree with
Starting point is 02:09:13 and some I don't, but he's not a, he's, he gets it. He's fine with that. He's not a, you know, he's not going to flip out and go, fuck you. You know, I think we had a fight a fun time with him. And I, you know, I, I like you have I like all those guys over there Of course, so hopefully someday Yeah, so Yeah, I'm coming to the festival that's gonna be there. I'll be there soon. So get some people to come down I'll say a DV heave DV yeah, man. Yeah, man. I'm excited
Starting point is 02:09:41 Big show so come the fuck down come say hi brother I got nothing but I'll try. I'll try to get out there. I'll talk to you later. All right, bye. All right, so that was a good way to end the show. All right, we have a big one. Yeah, well, look, man, it was coming.
Starting point is 02:09:57 I'm sorry, I knew it was coming. I just didn't, you know, there's a lot of stuff we have to deal with. Maybe next week we have another little issue that was going to be dealing with. Spot fire. to deal with. Maybe next week we have another little issue that's gonna be dealing with. Spot fire. What happened next week? We have an announcement.
Starting point is 02:10:12 We have so many new coming on the show next week. Kelly was dookin. No, I'm fine. What's that fucking? Jesus Christ. I'm never going back from the lurches out of deck. If she gets fat fat she's gone too This show does to people it's called the Kelly rule
Starting point is 02:10:30 That's what scope I love you It can work with either me or Kelly for stupid Hey self-deprecation hey all right, so let's go through this Joe What do you got besides fucking anxiety and tooth problems? I really feel like I should headline this group, but I'll go first. Why not? Let's go Chris. I'm joking. I'm joking. Liz, what are you going to? She's got a job to do. Get one at that table. It's got. I already got it. You never have to question Liz. No, she's on top of it. She's on it. She texts. I want to let's fuck. I love you. I love you.
Starting point is 02:11:01 How much would it take to get you away from this place? You can't 100 million you can't 100 million. So is bound to this 100 million how's your million come on? 100 million house in Florida house in Vancouver house here I mean what what sort of bizarre world is this actually ever happening it? Wow, thank you faith in my career Christy cello podcast blows up Thank you faith in my career Christy cellos podcast blows up Take out my podcast sweet buddies With the bomb dinner I T E buddies got the great podcast dad worked there I did the chat artwork from me check out I know I know I saw it
Starting point is 02:11:42 But he didn't even he fucking he just did black. He didn't even color it in man finished. No, it Take it to somebody who's that that Sam that's Blankito. He's the man Well, he just randomly walked through the show Sam could do that. What are you gonna come up Sam? What are your dates? He has to get nobs radio show ready all right. Let's go. We got to wrap this up. We have a meeting downstairs What do you got what else at it? No, how's the new podcast. It's great. I love it. Awesome. It's a lot of fun to do. We literally do that in my room But I think she's coming on today my old apartment I have a man to have you happy to see scope Me too bizarre stay away for a while and then come back
Starting point is 02:12:26 six months. Six months. You're like Vegas. Vegas. That's great. Hey, what do you got besides a box full of t-shirts? A lot of t-shirts. You can go to jtraincami.com, get one of those sweet teas. Sweet teas. S-U-I-T-E. Not the, no, not the, not the sweet bros. I got a podcast. J-Train podcast every Tuesday and Friday Check it out Robert you should do his podcast. Yeah, I love that I get it. You come back fucking great so much fun, right? Bob I was done it Joe's done it. Yes, I was on already. I would love to have you back Yeah, well let's my water bottle just told me to always be sipping
Starting point is 02:13:03 My water bottle just told me to always be sipping Right for your water bottle It's never too late to hydrate Isn't it time for a sip there we go Right for the hydrates why don't you fucking talk to your guy to help me out? I got eight bottles coming. I'll call him What does that mean? Everybody's birthday coming up my birthday's April 6th The big three five. Oh, sorry. I forgot about chat field
Starting point is 02:13:43 I got nothing that was my impression of the industry. Oh, there it is. Oh, forgot about jetfield. You see? Christ, you see, it's no, it's right. Uh, I got a podcast. It's called, uh, it's called stays right. Uh, stand up comic strip is the name of my podcast. You're a fucking the kid on tilt. He's holding his face. Is it? Now Joe, no, I got two things. Joe's red. I feel terrible. It's funny. I can take it. Fuck it. I'm gonna draw on his pad litage as a sad little boy. Today, Joe, be fun to me. Next your fire hydrant with a funny dog face. All right, go ahead. All right. Well, that was good. I have a podcast called Stand Up Comic Strip. And that's on our gits. Oh, shit. I gotta read that. I didn't read it. Uh-oh. What are you gonna read?
Starting point is 02:14:24 Fuck off. fuck me. All right, before we go to Joe, really quick, before we do your thing. All right, you like golf? Hello. I like golf. I do love drag kings. Listen, here's a deal,
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Starting point is 02:14:53 Whatever. Simple. Pick the sits. Pick six golfers before the tournament tease off on Thursday morning. Then sit back and fall the action live. Outscore the competition. Get paid. That's how easy it is. Then sit back and fall the action live outscore the competition get paid That's how easy it is you'll be hanging on every 30 300 foot fucking drive Snaking around a 40 foot pot all this stuff is gonna mean something now when you're watching this golf game. It's gonna be great
Starting point is 02:15:20 Thank you guys Guys, I got the funniest guys. I got two of the funny, I got one of the funny guys in the city. And then three really funny guys. And you guys can't add nothing, all right? Because sometimes you have a good one and then you go, I'm fucking reading the ad, you fucking fuck you, yell. That's weird. I don't know much. It's corporations.
Starting point is 02:15:39 You're a tad volatile. That's true. Right that down. And if you enjoy golf, draft Kings has all for fags. That's not funny. You're going to get the sponsor. Oh, I'm sorry. All kinds of sports is showcase. Are you a fantasy? They have baseball. They have soccer, even MMA, which is great. They have MMA now on draft Kings.com. Remember, turn them to begins Thursday morning. So on DraftKings.com. Remember, turn them against Thursday morning.
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Starting point is 02:16:28 c site for details draft kings dot com joe what do you got all right here wow hello comedian joe list dot com i spent three grand of my website no one's gone to it apral forth at uh... right downstairs the fat black puts it you're gonna be there right bob i don't know how to solve out yeah alright well we have to hold a couple of people that
Starting point is 02:16:49 well then don't uh... come to that you missed out but apol eleven the following to the if you miss that one apol eleven we're doing comedy from a kensy at the village underground robber kelly will be there as well you know i'm there i promoted the hell out of it you'll be there as well. Well, you know, I'm there. I promoted the hell out of it. You'll be there. Uh, Nick Tupalo will be there. Mark Norman. Mark Norman will be there. I'm pretty sure Colin Quinn will be there,
Starting point is 02:17:10 but don't hold it against him. I'm going up first. Great. Thanks. I gotta go home. Got it. Okay. So come out.
Starting point is 02:17:19 It's for a great cause. This young girl. She's very, very sick and all the money goes directly to her or to her parents or her. What show is sold out? And he's doing two days with stories live in the Sold out but not the kid with can't yeah, I know people are fucked up, right? You guys are for please just get the go sell it out. Yes, come it's gonna be a killer show and 11th April 11th
Starting point is 02:17:38 Village underground comedy sell dot com right now, okay? Yes, thank you. What else you got there? I got some date. Oh well, I got some dates up on Jason chatfield comedy dot com ComedySull.com right now, okay? Great. Thank you. What else you got there? I got some dates up on jasonchatfieldcomedy.com, but I'm headlining the Kent ale house this Saturday. We're gonna get some people in there. Kent ale house this Saturday. Yeah, so check my website jasonchatfieldcomedy.com. All right, check it out.
Starting point is 02:18:00 Great show Liz, you promoted anything, right? We got all that stuff. April 11th, get those tickets. Thanks for coming in, buddy. Appreciate it. Thanks a lot,. You got your medical career. Yeah, good luck with the medical crew. Who's that? Who? Oh, I forget see barto church. Oh shit. We gotta go. We gotta all right. All right listen You guys are the best fans of the world go to robbercally live dot com Look at that. Huh? Who loves you Bobby?
Starting point is 02:18:30 Take that. That's going up right behind us. Right. It's for the wall. Yeah. That's great. Put that up right up on there. That's for the wall right there. Thank you very much. I love that.
Starting point is 02:18:39 I love that. Chase Kelly. Go to my website robbickcallylive.com for all my dates. I'm coming back to Boston. I just booked San Diego I got Washington state. I'm coming. I got a bunch of new dates coming out and thank you for everybody that came out San Francisco you guys are showing up the YKWD fans. You guys are showing up everywhere. Thank you so much for
Starting point is 02:18:59 Premium members all you son of a bitches who will be premium members supporting the show I love you to death. You're awesome Thank you so much YKWD, you know what dude? Thanks for listening You've been listening to YKWD podcast Thanks for listening Now go back to your shitty jobs shitty jobs Check out riotcast.com for of the best podcasts on the internet.
Starting point is 02:19:30 And they're all free. And they're all free. Shining. Shining. Shining. Shining. Shining. Shining.
Starting point is 02:19:39 Shining. Shining. Shining. You

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