Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Town Crier | Luis J Gomez Mike Rowland Jordan Jensen

Episode Date: July 12, 2021

This week it's the return of the Puerto Rican Rattlesnake Luis J Gomez along with Mike Rowland and Jordan Jensen as we get into being intergender comedy roommates, Nickelodeon stars then and now, and how we celebrated 4th of July! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta, ¿dónde viene? ¿Sino por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa en preno, conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la Dición Especial de Madrid nos liga.

Un humenaje de mao, a Madrid. en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. Siempre que se mantenga las terconstancias económico-financeras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud. these back again. Can you reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach it on reach I'm open up the show and the mic is off. Yeah, your mic is off. I turn his mic off because he's not gonna quit. Turn his mic. I got to come back and bring order back to the fucking YK2BD podcast. Because last week I heard you calling out the regs. I was like really with Dan Skimmilk's odor and Joe the fucking. I'm afraid of the industry list.

The fuck out here, dude. The fuck out here. It's a real ass podcast takeover of why should I be doing that's what's happening. I don't want those ratings. I'm just getting scared. That's a way better for the best thing takeover. I'm just being on one on who are these fucking assholes? You got a whole crew of fucking producers. They stink already. I hate it. They're good. Who's this fucking guy? This fucking a fucking Adidas pants wear an ass hole. Oh God Christ, maybe you should've.

Why, where are my friends? Where are my friends? Where are my friends? Shut the fuck up, happy. Stop playing the ad for the rest of your life. You're the worst. Where are my friends? They were here last week.

There's none of my friends. You missed it. You were on a plane and you missed it. That's what happened. You make your makelaces fog up. Good. He's emotional. I should be fucking making you nervous.

This is it. This is a big deal for Louis Shagomans to return to the YQD podcast. Oh my God. But I see your staff, they're terrified of me. They will not make eye contact with me. Every one of them. They look down at their fucking feet as they should. As they should make me sick.

Don't throw bottles at women. What is wrong with you? I need them to be better. We're bringing back the old Y. Keterby to the heat. All right. We're making fun of each other. We're not being nice to each other. Fucking flabby Abby over here. I listen to dirty Puerto Rican. Let her introduce the show. And somebody's late. Just give her something. Give her something to do. Right? Cut up. We have loose j Gomez. We have microlearn. Yes. Hello.

How are you buddy? I'm good, man. How are you doing? I'm sorry to disrespect you, Mike. It's okay. But you're not my friend. I don't know you, man. You're friends.

Mike actually took a little weed and he's a little, there's some residuals hanging out. You got weed? Not now. Not what I do, but after that. You're friends. Can we smoke weed here? Oh, you can't. What the fuck in no, I'm gonna get it. No, I am free. What is in do, but after that, your friends. Can we smoke weed in here? Oh, you can't.

What the fuck in no, I'm gonna do. What is in no, I'm gonna do. What physically? Beat us ass. Listen, I will beat up no, and S'dee at the same time. Oh my God. Literally, if they challenge me. Yeah, but that's not even a, everybody can.

I'll beat up S'dee with no, I'm's body. Listen. I'll use no, as a Jewish club. I'll just fucking beat her to death with this fucking nebbushy body. Oh my god. That sounds like something out of like an X-Men. If Hitler was a superhero, he was. There they go. I'm on a side. This podcast is an hour and a half. No. Okay. We do. Bumming's playing what's happening. First of all, introduce who's late. I don't know

what happened. Jordan Jensen. She'll be here soon Great comedian also my roommate. Yeah, always late is she hot why but why is she late? She's just she's one of these late people man black What a very much not she's a very white really a white girl that's late all the time. I like it That's got to respect that I respect it You guys were so mad. You said you had a shot. I thought it was black chick. I was like, you know what?

Dude, Juneteenth is over, bitch. Let's go. Fourth of July. A white chick, I rejected it. No, she was fucking probably organizing her fucking tax papers or something. No, why? No, where's the fucking guy?

No, I didn't even know. Oh, shit, man. Or organizing her tax papers. Yeah, why is it yellow? Because we've been using it for nine years Never been washed and it's always been on your microphone What's the point of that thing? What if you tell a joke that bombs you have to take the bomb down? All right, well, I'm gonna be holding on to that later. Yeah, you will. Yeah, but you give it to him now

All the pressure off this your bomb because you're fucking roommates like you should have been on her ass Like this is a big opportunity buddy. I'm bombing cuz I'm high That wasn't that funny. This takes all the pressure off. There's your bombing because your fucking roommates, like you should have been on her ass, but I do this a big opportunity. Buddy, I'm bombing because I'm high. I like it. It's very good. He's not bad. He's not bad.

He's not a bad guy. Yeah. He's not a bad guy. She was giving him a pep talk when I walked in. She was giving him a pep talk. What she said? I said, come in hot. She was saying, come in hot.

Come in hot. What? That's not a good idea. Well, that's what Lewis just did. And it fucking crossed the bridge. Lewis, it was my fault. It's my fault. That's not a good idea. Well, that's what Lewis just did it. It fucking crossed the blue. It was in his mic on that. That's it. That wasn't bad.

It wasn't better. Like a petulant child. You were just like, all right, turn his mic on. Yeah, because that's Lewis. If you come in hot, you look at an asshole. Yeah, if you were to done that, Bobby would have physically attacked you. Yeah.

If I told you, I almost threw somebody out of window. That's good radio. I know that's not good radio. I'm not that guy anymore. I am not that guy. Since when? Paul Versey told the story yesterday at the barbecue. Shout out to Paul Versey.

Great barbecue. I loved it. He was like, dude, he was like, what when I was first, first time I ever opened up for Bobby, we had a show. Some guy came out to us afterwards and he took off his shoes. He was like, well, you sign my shoe and I signed the shoe. And then he went to Bobby, Bobby's like, but you fucking shoe on, dude, what's wrong with you?

That's gonna be shoe. I'm signing your shoe, my Jordan. Shubby comic just did an hour relax. Probably half sold. It was into a lot of people. How was it? So speaking of the barbecue, you went to the barbecue last time. How was it? It was awesome. It was awesome. It was awesome. Good time awesome. It was awesome. Good time, right?

A lot of fireworks. Yeah, did it a great job. I mean, look, they fucking, they don't know what they're doing. What are you talking about? Paul and Chris Italia, who, I mean, you know, fucking, what about Ari? Where was Ari? Ari, Ari bailed last minute.

Why? He's that because he couldn't get a dog sitter, because he asked if he could bring his dog. And Paul has like a fucking, a rescue dog from like is a room. He's in a Rubidog. Yeah, there's some fucking the original dog. Yeah, they have the instincts are off the side just to kill shit. Yeah, it would kill Ari's little fucking fact you don't on a Rubidog.

I don't think Jews and Rubin. I don't think Jews are a dog study religion. I don't. It's not that he would just use dog. He would sense it. What? The dog would sense that this, this other dog was a Jew. Was a Jew, what was a Jew own dog?

You mean the Arubin rescue dog? The Arubin rescue dog. Would destroy Ari's little shit dog. Really? So anyway, so Paul was like, yeah, I do, yeah, don't bring the dog. I'm a little bit nervous with like multiple dogs around like. So then Ari pretended that he couldn't get a dog sitter.

You need a dog sitter for a half a day to go to a barbecue. Well, he's gonna put your dog. You put him the fucking house. Yeah, but it takes nine hours to get diversity. Even though he says it takes 14 minutes to get to the city from his house. How long is it to get to? It's a dog.

First of all, dogs don't have a sense of time. Yeah, they do when they got a shit. Good point. My dog shit on the rug. I went to Nome's for three hours the other day yesterday and he shit right in my rug in the drum room. Because he knew he was like, you're going to Nome's aren't you? He knew. My dog's, my dog is a Bernadette.

Love's everybody. I didn't know anybody because they are. Bernadette is a beautiful dog. They think it's a dogman picture. Yeah, so it was a good time, but so he didn't make it. He didn't make it and then he convinced all the cool comedians to not go. So like big J and Sal and fucking so Sal was supposed to all bailed

and they all went to all these. Well, for sure. Yeah, they fucking and then they just like nobody even said anything they were they all about Derosa Derosa his idea three days before it happened Derosa I heard trying to plan to get everyone to not go to Versus fuck you. I swear to God Derosa's a scumbag He will also be pouring a skankfest south in Houston November 5th or 7. Oh Skankfest is happening. Yeah, I was happening. It's a now we're announcing lineups today. That's crazy Who's on it? The great Robert Kelly is on skankfest. Oh, I'm sorry. It's a now we're announcing lineups today. That's crazy. Who's on it?

The great Robert Kelly is on skankfest. Oh, I'm sorry. I got a cancel. No, you're not canceling. I'm doing moon tower You fucking What the fuck was that something about you being shaped like a moon? I was a bomb, but I like something there squeeze it out. Where's Joeless? He would have said something really funny there Hey, hey, Moon Tower. That's great, man. It's gangfests going, I mean, stop. You're going all over the fucking place. What? Hey, are you it's gangfest? No, no, not that dude. What's that? You don't know it's gangfest. I know it's gangfest. It's why aren't I on it? Oh, hell yeah. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. I got throw this up a staff. you're on no throw if you know if you I just because you that's I shit you not dude

I should look at that's weak if he listens okay Well, I'm telling you right now if you hit one of the staff members you are going to skank this I thought these people were here all the time No, my first time you got a hit all I've ever known with a bottle For these people and then you come in and tell me to throw a bottle at him eat my ass bro doggy look all right Well, you know, I'm a skank this I'm sorry. That was I bet Jay Jensen fucking your late roommate. I bet I bet you I tell this bitch the throne She goes right in bed Gabby's fucking face. Yeah, where is this chick by the way? I mean this is Caller right now. Give me tell it to go home. Give me give me the phone. Let me call her Gabby does a little man Gabby. Let me call her. No, why?

Gabby, let me call her. No. Why? Because she'd be a funny bit. I'm gonna call her and she's like, who the fuck is this guy? She doesn't know funny. She's a millennial comic. I don't want to.

She doesn't want to hurt people's feelings or lose a connection in the business. Yeah. You, you, you're a great, funny. No, I just got a phone up. Well, she just said, I was like, where are these people that I'm on with? He can call.

That's a roommate. Yeah. Yeah, but that's not funny. He lives with a girl. That is crazy. He lives with a girl comic that does better than him in the business. That's you? We're about to even write a girl. That is crazy. He lives with a girl comic that does better than him in the business. Does she?

We're about to even write. I'm starting to pull ahead and I feel it. If she's hot and slightly funny, it's over. Hey, yes. If you're a hot chick in New York, all you do is have 10 minutes. All right, she's turning on to McDougal right now. McDougal.

Yeah. Well, let her talk to me. Give it to her. All right, but on speakerphone. Speak on to the microphone Jordan, let me talk to you. Let me talk to you. Yeah, let me talk to you. Let me talk to you. Let me talk to you.

Let me talk to you. Let me talk to you. Let me talk to you. Let me talk to you. Let me talk to you. Let me talk to you. Let me talk to you. Let me talk to you. I can't see where you guys are talking about here. There's my moons. You know, off the stairs. Buzz, buzz number four.

Oh, I see it. Oh, God, this is going to be a hellish podcast. I'm trying to tweet out from his phone, but it's fucking dickhead phone. I don't have Twitter on there. Fuck Twitter. What is this shit? What is everybody doing?

I can't get to the other section on his phone. I could, you stupid gorilla here, it's fucked it up. Your iPhone, she should be coming up now. Probably another 10 minutes figuring out where the door is. There's my moons. Right next to it.

Fuckin' crap. She's like, I'm writing. Sorry. Sorry, guys, stop bothering movie. Hey, do you might have I take this call? I just got I just got Montreal 2022. Dude, you know, bothers me. Yeah, I do. White people, women, women with self-esteem, black people, black people, Jews. Yeah, Jews. Up withy blacks. Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus. My Lord, you really now to take a joke over the edge. What? Hell yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Skankfest November 5th or 7th. You're stuck. Yes. You really now to take a joke over the edge.

I'm going to quote Bobby Kelly on it. Hell yeah. All right. So listen. So I can't believe first of all. I will be at Skankfest by the way. Do you know my god? Do you know what? Do you much work Paul versus he put into this Paul versus he will be his gangfests? And he put all this work into the party, right? Yeah. And here we go. All these guys are coming up. Sal Joe Derosa.

Yeah. I really get a big full of. I mean, I'm a big fat. Derosa. Yeah, my guy that worked in the deli. So the only person that was Yannis with credits? Yannis, I don't know.

Yeah, I was the second most famous. Wow, that party's out. Is this not y'all talk about every party? If it's things. Who has the most credits at the party? Yes, that's where we do. There's a table at Bobby's. There's a big kids table and a small kids table.

It's like Louis and Amy Schumer and all those fuckers that used to talk to Bobby, they would all sit at the table. Like if you came, you'd have to bring ice. Yeah, you know, 10 bags of ice. Fuck, it's shine box. Say she gave him a pep talk before she went in.

Now he's all whipped up. Shut up. Oh, you're right about her being like a climber asshole. Oh my God. Because I said, who are these fucking people on Mom with? I was furious because I don't know these people. Right.

So then she goes goes she's like, there is this girl. She goes their new seller comics. And I was like, you think I fucking care that they work at the fucking comedy seller? What is it? Fucking 14 years ago? She is. What's the glasses on? Finally, there's it's it's it. All right. Listen, we can't hear you. Don't talk. It's you get out of microphone. All right, you're right here sit right here. You'll late don't do a bit just sit down. We're really mad at you, okay? I mean what though. Don't look at your roommate for help He's not gonna how he's on his own what happened here

What are you talking about what what happened? What are you talking? I remember on comedians have respect for you Robert Yeah, well, yeah, go ahead, look. Yeah, put the microphone. You have no respect for yourself. Talking to the microphone. Yeah, that's true. Her microphone's off. It's off.

Wow. Wow, this is just fucking nice. Can we try? That was in trouble. There we go, right there. There we go. Don't they say that if you're like, first of all, who are you?

What's your name? I am Jordan Jensen. Gordon Jensen. Jordan Jensen. Jordan Jensen. And you live with what's your name? Nobody knows Gordon Jensen. Gordon Jensen. Jordan Jensen. Jordan Jensen. And you live with what your name again? Mike Roland. Mike Roland.

And you guys live together. It sounds like two porn stars. Mike Roland and Jordan Jensen, Starrion. It's going to be, we're going to be fine. Yeah, we're going to be great. We. Yeah, well, it's funny. You guys, do you guys fucking bus balls with each other?

Oh, yeah, for sure. All right. So what are you worried about? What do you mean? You're fine. You guys are comics comics she gave him a pep talk before he came in I smoked a little weed yeah, I was gonna text you and say don't smoke weed. I know, but I did I smoked man the weed thing It's back it's back and forth. She's like it makes you on time. It's fucked up Why are you late what happened? I was having sex that's really what the truth hell yeah, I gotta respect that What makes it, he's cool. Yeah, why are you late? What happened?

I was having sex. That's really what the truth. Hell yeah. I gotta respect that. Cool, I got respect. I mean, I was gonna have to do something. I did think the M was gonna go straight to Westforth because of the holiday I had to transfer. So I thought I was okay.

But the reason why it was that rushed is that it was sex. You're banging. Who were you banging? That's my sex. You're banging. Who are you banging? That's my business. Not a comic, though. You're not banging. It is a comic, obviously. That's why I said this one. I should want to see her. Derek from accounting. Yes, the fucking comic. Why would you bang a comic? It's not going to work. This is a thing. This is what I think is crazy. People say we have weeded out the funniest people into one crew Yes, and funny is the main attraction for women

You know what I mean that's I want to know who the sky is not big fix. It's not success It is you think funny is the number one thousand percent. Have you seen how many ugly comments get laid? Specific to y'all though because y'all also value a sense of humor on it. Obviously dude Have you seen any movie? I mean, you can woo any the fact that you had a lot of sex with very attractive women is testimony. You don't have that much. You live with two other people.

You really do look like a like a wrestler that's challenged. I don't know what challenge we have. I was going to say retarded, but I've pushed out. You really get what happened to you? I thought challenge would be better. It looks like Jansolder's autistic little brother. Respect you. You lost your edge.

Say what happened to you. I'm gonna throw this ice coffee right now. I'm sorry. I still respect you. I wanna know who she's banking now because I wanna have funny ears. Cause she's going on a fucking brief. Is he talking about funny ears?

He's not that funny. Exactly. That's the point. No, but let me ask questions. Thank you. I don't wanna know who he is. He's a class person. He's got that funny. Exactly. That's the point. No, but I may ask question. I don't want to know who is this person. He's very funny. Is he a headliner? No. No. Oh, she abandoned a future. Or are you banging a host? I'm banging. I'm banging a feature in his hometown. I mean, you're banging a host in the city. I'm not even to sell our homes. Yeah, yeah, I would skirt a house.

I don't bang people that are in my, I'm not going to bang Michael, like I'm not going to bang people I work with all the time. I mean, you talk about if you're going by you a theory, funny, he's a funny guy and he lives with you. That would be the perfect nightmare. No, perfect. Two together. We literally shit on top of each other's shit at home.

You know what I mean? We fart in each other's eyeballs There's no mystery there Why do you fight? I literally woke up to him farting on to my bear about the other day. I'm farting in your face. You fart interface Yeah, yeah, it's in my face all the time. Okay. Yeah, I hate their odd couple thing right now is bugging me I don't know. I like the she is the alpha and he's what happened. He was fucking killing it and then she

came in and then he fucking went to shit. How are you killing it? Are you doing good? Oh, you mean you were referring to him. Dude, he wouldn't he wouldn't physically assault the staff. That was a test, dude. You fucking pass that test. Yeah, she would throw a bottle. Here, we throw a bottle at the staff. Oh, yes. You just got on the skank best self. Yeah, yeah, you're gonna put it in. Sorry. Yeah, it's like swearing out. She rules. You were such a pussy, dude. She just met her. She just did before. She just broke a thousand dollar computer. Congratulations. Congratulations. I'm booking Skank. Congrats on Skank. Thank you so much. If you don't put her in Skank, I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you.

I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you.

I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you.

I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. the ever disparages the name of Skankfest with a fucking wrath. The wrath that you will for your grandma, your grandma, there's going to feel that. What happens? Oh, no, they're not going to show up. They're just going to put his information into a reddit page.

A database. Why do you tell him to go to your dad's house? Oh, because my dad has a lot of guns. Oh, oh, oh, he's not going to go to the house. Yeah, they're going to just virtual. They're going to send him. I'm jumping in the bed too. I'm not gonna sit.

Get your angry little squinty face off. Nobody buys it. She's the boss. Yeah, okay. She came in and fucking really just laid it down. It's like, how is there any question about the boss? Well, it's going on. It's a husband and wife thing.

It's like necessary for the ecosystem of the house. Yeah, for you to clean it. Make sure It's a husband and wife thing. It's like necessary for the ecosystem of the house. Yeah. For you to clean it. Make sure it's nice. Well, we have another roommate that also cleans. Oh, I roommate eat the comments. He booked them. He booked the seller.

Oh, he really? He's at the seller too. Did you get, no, who got out of the seller first? I got in first. And then you got her in? No, and then Ethan got in on his own and then I wrecked Jordan to get in. Michael got me in 100%.

That's great. It rules. It was tough when they were going off to the cellar at night and I'd be like, all right, I was being here eating my body weight. That's not you were super booked. You were doing I know I was booked, but it was the most booked woman in Brooklyn. Thanks. Thanks, my key. Is that a thing?

Yeah, the most book. No, there's not like an award for it, but I am pretty vulgar. Notice. I mean, you're talking about going to a barbecue with the most book. No, there's not like an award for it, but I am pretty vulgar. Notice. I mean, you're talking about going to a barbecue with the most credits. People notice when somebody's doing better at our level. I do. Really. I really like talking to her more than you. What is he? My get closer to your mic. Okay, here I am. Maybe that's why I can't hear you. Yeah, I got in there closer. Hello.

Yeah. Um, what are you staring at me for? I don't know. What's wrong? I'm debating how I feel about these two. What do you mean? I don't know if I liked them yet. I thought you loved her You just put your skin a little bit of a mess that you like me. I promise. I like her now again There's no way. Here's the thing. You got to push people sometimes Yeah, when you probably react to he's too much he acts like a chick. She acts like me I pushed her she threw a bottle away to this gay kid's head. That was a hate crime. He's not gay. He's not gay.

He's true. He's just gay. Have me get your sex. I'm trying to monetize the way. He's not gay. He's true. Who's the fight? You know, a young fucking wicker girl

producing the show now, too. That's right. I said I said she dates black guys. She goes how'd you guess she picked her pants up? She's got eight dogs and she's just get ripped jeans You should not that it's not that you know observant to see if she's banging black dudes. Yeah, she's she's yeah She's fucking she definitely had a rap career where she came to this. She's missing a clock around her neck Yeah, she fucking she definitely had a rap career where she came to this. She's missing a clock around her neck. Yeah, she might be closeted. I have three lesbian moms and this is what they look like when they're in college. Well, all moms look like that too though. I mean no, no, no, no, no, this is a tight. We have the I know the bun very well. It's get the fucking hair out of my face. I'm not a princess and hold it back so I can eat some pussy. Yeah, that is hell. That is a has a baby with a black guy, but is into women.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That is a, where's a giant Tweety bird with a clock on it around his neck, shirt, and six months. But I have, I have blown my cousin at Barbecue's once in a while. Yeah, my wife cousin. I've sucked a couple of white people. Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's like, get, get her look is, get, get into a fight at Hershey Park. Yeah, yeah. That is, that is a little, yeah. Might have a shirt with her name, airbrush. Yes, yeah, never been to the ocean, but has been tubing a lot of times. She's got a she's got a giant pin with her and her nephews face on. You can jump in anytime with the comic by the shot. But I think you're a miss killing me.

These Gabby's laughing at the shit Looking back like you're on a train I was going on a foot of this girl I've never met That's the show all right. She looks like she wears cookie monster fucking sleeping pants Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I apologize. Oh, I know about it. All right. I'm doing podcasts on Monday night. We might have to switch. Or I'm going to have to switch my podcast. You're doing scheduling right now. So to what? Can I call you this afternoon?

Uh, because he just texted me what good feel. I mean, that hurts my feelings. We're going to have to talk about that because that hurts. That sounds something like my stepdad would do to me. But yes. This is strange. I know. I mean, yeah, but you could talk to me at some point

when we could visit it. But that's OK. We'll deal with that in therapy. I love you. I love you too. I love you. I love you, bye. Your therapist says I love you when you hang up the phone.

I've been with him for probably 15 years. Does Alan really make you submit a tape before you see him. He does now, because there's so many comics in the whole world. No. This is what I heard about Alan, is that he's like, I'll see you, and then he's like, but maybe you should send me a tape of your stand up. I have a whole theory about Alan.

I think he invests in comics, and he only gets the really good ones, and then he makes more money off of you later. I think he has a racket. I'm in Alan. No, no, he doesn't. I went to his festival. When he would charge me $50 a session back

from the day when he would go on a scale. Yeah, yeah. Right, it's just an end. And then I looked in his eyes and then he lied to me. He didn't, it wasn't like a true law. You were funny. You have a catch hole, you can make it. He got a future, he got a future kid.

He was lying. I'm out of here. That was two things. It was one, like I mentioned, you were big, no it was big J, because I didn't know Big J had seen him. Right. I mentioned something about Big J, right?

Cause, you know, I'm a fucking, if you're mentioning your friends in therapy, you don't really have problems, by the way. Like if that's where, if you've gone there, it's like, come on, just fucking grow up. But either way, nobody understands what you just said. Well, I just feel like, I feel like, if that's a problem in therapy,

like you're talking about your friends, I feel like that's not real problems. Why? I was abused. I should be talking about that. I'm an abused. The fact that Alan's talking about Big J is like a problem. But, over girls, that wasn't the issue.

Okay, okay. Like he acted like he didn't know who Big J was because he couldn't tell me that he had seen Big J. But it was like an inherent like lie. Yeah, but he can't tell you that. Yeah, but I'm talking to him and he knows who the fuck I'm talking about. It's bizarre.

Is he supposed to go, yeah, you're right. He has a piece of shit. He has a third of a bad friend. Yeah, but he can't do that. And then when I cried in a session, I came out after like just fucking, you came out of a session. I came out, no, I had soppy eyes

when I came out of a session. Yes. And then fucking Gary Goldman was saying to me. Yeah, fuck this. It just coming, just tracking up. Yeah. Keep going, keep going. I was like, I was like, dude, I was like, hey,

Gary was like, what's going on? And then we both like look down kind of embarrassed. I was like, I can't fucking run into people after I'm crying. I should, here's the trick. Because I was one of the first guys to go to him. Okay. I've developed this trick.

I don't talk about anything meaningful with 10 minutes left. I do everything up front, but I also go out and I make sure the door, because sometimes people linger, so I open the door, and if I've actually told comics, you gotta go. They don't hang here, get the fuck out. If that was me, I would have literally been like,

make me. I would have, I would have. I would have. hang in this dudes off Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, once once for in case you cry Well, I don't do it at the end because I've come out in those comics waiting this and and I don't like that I don't like this is how bad we are and advocating the internet that we all have to go to one Yeah, you know what I mean, but he's good with comedies. He's good with comics. He just knows us.

And he, I've literally had fights with him, like screaming matches. Uh, uh, uh, because he doesn't take your shit. He's not the typical comedy like therapists are gonna sit there. That's great. Okay. And he, like, I've said stuff to him. He's like, fuck you. The first day I was in there.

I said, Hey, you're not making me into a fucking pussy. I'm just letting you know. And he goes, you already are, you're here. Real men don't go to therapy. Yeah. And I was like, oh, too shay. All right, great. I've heard him come to therapy.

He's chucky, Zito. You know, he's great. He's, I love him. Yeah. Yeah, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, I have such fucked up thoughts. And like, if I really want to let go, I have to know that that guy does not know anybody that I know.

There's no paper trail, there's no nothing. What you want to fuck kids? What's up? Yeah. You never watched Victoria's on Nickelodeon. I actually did a show with her. So I know you did. Oh, I'm going to make you introduce James to Liz Gillies because he loves that show. I'll call her next time. Call her next time you with him. Well do a face time. I swear to God, he would lose his fucking mind. Now look, she's gotten prettier. I know, she's hot. But if you got, if you got Victoria, if you got Victoria justice, I'll pay you. Dude, Liz is prettier than Victoria.

Look, Liz might hear this. I'm telling you, she's prettier now. She ain't. Dude, she's prettier than Victoria. She ain't. Now. These are children. You're not up. Oh, baby. You have to set up grandma. We're talking about hot chick. You've never you've

never went then and now on a YouTube image of Nickelodeon girls. Don't you he watches our shows that I'm like, that's right. Turn on Sam and Kat. Let's go. Sam from Sam and Kat's smoking right now. Oh, yeah. She got it. She got you know, she got those jails too. You know, she's self-conscious. No, not now. She's like a fitness guru now. Oh yeah, she got it, she got it. You know what I mean? She got those jails too. You know, she's self-conscious. No, not now. She's like a fitness guru now. Ooh. Yeah.

We have kids. We have kids. Obviously, this is a better show. We watched there. What's that excuse? There it is. We have to watch Henry Danger. I wonder how the fucking

Henry Danger's hot. That fucking Henry Danger's hot anymore. Henry Danger's not hot anymore. He was a hot kid. Dude, he let his hair go. His hair went curly. It's brown and he's got like acne. No. Henry Danger's not hot anymore. He was a hot kid. Dude, he let his hair go. His hair went curly, it's brown, and he's got like acne.

No. Henry Day is just not hot. When Henry Danger was 12, that could get it. Smoking hot. I know. Wait, so he's just in an awkward phase right now. He's got like your own color in here. Yeah, he looks like him.

He does kind of look like you. Now, now, not hot now. Okay. I mean, you look hot for you, but if not, why would you be angry? Dangerous. No, I'm not trying to say you're ugly. You have a, you have a, you have a, like a Pittsburgh vibe. Thank you.

Where are you from? From Atlanta. Okay. Maybe last time. He's got a Pittsburgh face. Like what about Drake from Drake and Josh? He was always who I spanked it to. He was hot.

He's, uh, he's on the outs now. I think you got arrested. No, he's a stupid star in Mexico. Not under me. In was hot. He's on the outs now. I think he got arrested. No, he's a stupid star in Mexico. That's not an enemy in Mexico. He's a pop star in Mexico. No, he's not. I swear to God. Oh my God.

No, wasn't he like soliciting from like underage chicks or something? He can be both. You can do both. Yeah, I can do both. In Mexico, you can do anything. Um, that's probably why he went to Mexico for the pedophile stuff and then became payments because he's great. Yeah, there she.

Oh, yeah, she go. Oh wow She's not pretty anymore. Who is this shit? What is that? That's for me. This is I Carly. That's I Carly. That's what Sam was with our instead of What's a name like she was yeah, I know that's the real She was a cute little girl. She was a cute little girl. I mean, she had potential the same fucked up But Sam fuck I'm been weird about that. Now, it's fucking gorgeous. Yeah, what?

I mean, come on. What is wrong with you? You think I Carly is not hot, but that's fucking gorgeous. He likes fat. She's like a dinosaur. He's a fat guy deep down inside. So he needs to check the little little fucked up. So he feels like he's a tiny little.

Yeah, the other girls, he can't even see. Yeah, he can even imagine. He's far blind to truly beautiful people. Look at look at no one I like a chick with a goofy face You know that hot body goofy Okay, that's my thing dad. Yeah, it's air lip. This is like when when girls, you know, it's like I look at him though He was a fat fuck. Yeah, who is he? Oh, he looks great. That's Josh breaking job Yeah, he's killing it somebody said. Oh, let's just fell pick those up Yeah, he looks great now. You've just got, let's just fell. Pick those up. Yeah, he looks great now.

He's got a bullied by Hotlin. He's got a listen here. No, I know. First of all, I was smoking hot my whole life and I banged hot chicks. They were annoying. And they don't fucking talk. They're just stupid people.

But the ugly chicks have a fucking personality. That's true. That's what I do the show at the pussycat, me or ugly around the stage. I don't want hot girls around the stage because they're gonna be on their phone. They're gonna be fucking, they need the attention on them. They can't go an hour and a half without having somebody recognize them. I had three hot girls in the crowd last night and I

went in on them, just ripped the poor horse to bits. It was, they were so wealthy. They were such a wealthy three crew. And I really, there was like this nasty couple up front big fat couple that just loved each other down and dirty and I just, I really pivoted the whole crowd to attack these three hot girls because I'm jealous of them and I want their life. It's not even that. You don't want their life. They're just fucking assholes. I want their bodies. Maybe their bodies are a little weird, but maybe their bodies are a little weird.

Maybe their bodies are a little weird, but maybe their bodies are a little weird. Maybe their bodies are a little weird, but maybe their bodies are a little weird. Maybe their bodies are a little weird, but maybe their bodies are a little weird. Maybe their bodies are a little weird. Maybe their bodies are a little weird. I have a little, it's like, your bodies in one. Yeah, yeah, it's a Lego man. That's great. You're very hot for a comic.

Yeah. Thank you so much for a comic. Yeah, for a comic. You have, I mean, your body. It's the juxtaposition with Gabby. It's the problem. Well, Gabby wasn't here at Be How Does I? No, fuck you.

Gabby's hot for a chick and she's unfunny for a comic. Thank you so much. That's where we're at, right? If she had a frog body, like me, she'd be crushing it. Yeah, I do. Yeah, if she looked like a salamander. at. If she had a frog body like me, she'd be crushing you know. Yeah, she looked like an assalamender. Yeah. You and Michael look like you fucking trade clothes. We do. Actually, I introduced him to those shirts actually. That's great. Mike get closer to your Mike. I like, okay, I'm on the mic. I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I do she's again right to she is in his head dude. He shut down as soon as she came out true No, I'm just happy to let you do it's gabbies pep talk fucked him up Mike

No, I'm fine. I what what am I gonna say what I'm gonna comment? No gabbies can add pictures of young girl Gabby is fucking in comparing them. Oh my god, we just stopped listening to him. And it's all the middle of the conversation. We stopped listening. Unconsciously, not even as a joke. We just started talking about Gabby. Wow. Damn, Doggy. Please turn this mic to do something.

Try not to go ahead. Can you give him a bell that he could ring every time he starts speaking? Like a town cryer? Convolotea, the region of Murcia has never been so close. Spectacularismos, lincones de película y un sincindia aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consult Like, you're good. I'm kidding. We're just passing you a course. I just stop.

Put your hands down. Nobody like it. I hear it about it. He's going to be fidgeting with his dip. I'm getting more out of it. I feel like this one. I'll book a kimari in those and it's a little bit of making me throw up. Oh, God.

Where is it? You're saying, now you're saying that. You're saying, now you're saying that. You're saying, now you're saying that. I'm getting more out of it. I'm getting more out of it. I'm getting more out of it. I'm getting more out of it.

I'm getting more out of it. I'm getting more out of it. I'm getting more out of it. I feel like this one. I'll book a kimari in those and it's a little bit of making me throw up. Oh, God. Where is it? You're saying that you're sure. It's all over. Why put on your pants? On your car, go to shorts. Use the handkerchief. So anyways, fourth of July, I was gonna say about Gabby. Okay, go ahead.

What? I'm gonna talk about fourth of July for a second. Listen, Gabby is, you know, I've never even seen Gabby on stage, but there's no way it's good. It's impossible. I'm good. Impossible, but I will say this.

I'm gonna eat your compliment now. You relax. Go, go, go. She said I'm good and I impossible, but I will say this. I'm gonna keep your compliment now. You relax. I'll go, go. She said I'm good and then they both turned to her. I'm like, this is me. I'm alright. I'm okay. I've seen Gabby, very funny.

I can't, where did I see it? On that awesome show, in the show that it was memorable. It me and my both did actually. Gabby, her Instagram lately has been, what do you mean, wow. The roof, the fucking roof. I'm not blowing. I'm not blowing. Fucking, you know, why? has been What do you mean while the roof a fucking roof? Fucking you know why she's just non-stop in a bikini show off that fucking bod. It's wild Yeah, but her ball. No, I have other accounts

Her bond her bod's great. I can't look at it like she got it's insane. Her body isn't saying her body's great Her body's great. It's's great. She had no boobs. It's not mushy. She's a six. It's so big. I'm a six. What are you looking at? I'm a six.

No, look at it. I'm a six. No, look at it. I'm a six. No, look at it. Yeah, but look at that. High waist. I mean, look at it.

Do the bikini shot the first one. This is the one that I saw today. I was like, shut up, Gabby. Yeah, shut up. You fucking insane. What is on your arm? I'm not a tattoo. I'm getting a tattoo removed. Remove. What is it up?

I was just a shitty, shitty old tattoo. Of what? A funnier comedian? Yeah, it's your face. I'm gonna get removed. Mrs. Here, I'll take that. Look at her abs.

It was fine. Just nobody left me. You were tagging onto his joke. I got it good. It says walk through. Look at Josh Adamire's being a fucking simp. What a creep. What is he's

Every fucking chick Josh Adam my But his or dad is fucking to do for no, no, you're trying to get him to go to one of those comedy jams Listen what Gabby you look that you do look alright in that, but... Also, why is your dad flirting with you in the comments? That's a fake account. Oh really? That's hilarious. It's a fan club thing. Oh, the fan club.

Yeah, and did you do a match? Did you do a match in a match? Did you do a match in a match? Did you do a match in a match? Did you do a match in a match in a match? Did you do a match in a match? Did you do a match in a match? Did you do a match in a match?

Did you do a match in a match? Did you do a match in a match? Did you do a match in a match? Did you do a match in a match? Did you do a match in a match? Did you do a match in a match? Did you do a match in a match? her dad and Gabby fucking drink like Merchant Marines. No joke. Gabby does not fuck around. I give her credit for that. Yeah, her liver is just fucking gonna fail her. She has to get famous soon, because she's gonna have to get a transplant. Soon, yeah.

It's floating. Yeah, I believe it. She drinks like a motherfucker. Look at her stomach though, I hate it. What do you mean? I hate it. We have the same trainer. She's got no boobs.

You say I want to kiss it? I want to kiss it. Jesus Christ. That's what I want me to leave. I'm gonna back up. Honestly, that's the most relaxed. She's got no bulls. I want to kiss it. I want to kiss it. Jesus Christ. That's what I want me to leave. I'm gonna back up. Honestly, that's the most relaxed thing he's ever seen. Really? I will turn my border panties from her for a few minutes. And you put them on his face. What while you were in here? Yeah, I was pretty surprised. Well, can I stop? Stop. She didn't buy him. He didn't buy him. Michael, he had panties.

He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He.

He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He.

He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He.

He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. her panties. All for body. And now, mind you, she can afford a projective. I don't know what she did, but she was like, I want to say. I know what I'm saying. Do you, are you a sniffer? Did I sniffer? I'm more MIA sniffer. What is it?

I'm gonna, I said sniffer. Are you a sniffer? No. You're not a sniffer, okay? Did I sniffer? Yes. Okay, okay. Did I put them into my mouth and jerk off?

Of course. Oh my god. Did you get down like somebody was trying to fix a wound back in the 18th century. Oh god man. I just don't see it because I see, I can't Gabby does nothing for me at all. I see her as she produces this podcast.

I mean, I just don't mind. She doesn't arouse me. She doesn't arouse me. You gotta say that. Yeah, I mean, she really doesn't is I look at that I don't like I mean I've already came Yeah, this photo is just a goddamn piece of art and I love it. I see a fat thigh But Gabby what are you sick?

But Gabby I see a fat thigh fucking right She a guy a thigh, no she said that she would would have said, guy or... It would have been funny. We would have literally carried her out of here. It would have been good. She could have retired from boxing. If I said it, you couldn't carry me. No, I don't know. Hey, hey, no.

Is that a dog on the grass? Yeah. No, it's Brendan Sagalow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, very good. Oh, I feel like he's just went to... Yeah. Yeah. Very good. Off we just went there. Yeah. Where is this, by the way? What's here in Towson? That they have a little hot, the best shed. The whole shed. Yeah. I didn't know that.

Where is that? In Jersey? Yeah. I thought they would have a different house. I thought they'd have a more, like, Anthony Cumie-A-Tice house. It's not the shed they live in. There's another house.

Yeah, but the shed, I definitely, the shed matches the house a little bit, right? Oh, no, let me see let me see a little bit Look how bougie that shed is those windows slide up and down imagine what the house looks like. I don't have any more photos We're gonna look at a spread leg photo next to Spread leg spread up top up top Saga loves to fall around high girls and get pictures of them. Look at this. Saga low. Saga looks like a lesbian. Gabby looks so hot here.

Now Gabby in real life, you don't look this hot. Sure, sure. You can get this out. Like she's very much one of these shakes where she's a kind of. I'm telling you right now, listen. Gabby always says to me, I'm gonna do this which I go just do what you're doing

because it's gonna be a point very soon when you're just gonna not do this podcast anymore. Cause you're gonna be on TV, she's gonna be on sitcom with some CW horse shit and she's gonna be making movies or some shit. She's gonna be going through because she's in life. Yes, not that good looking. She's charismatic and beautiful. How old are you? 27. She's getting up there. I mean, I mean, if you're gonna get a sitcom, we got to fucking start cracking baby boy. What?

You know, you're hitting on a young hot chick. No, she can be the mom soon. She can be the young mom. I went to a talent agency and they were like, you could be like the mom or the teacher. And I was like, fuck, why was I thinking like the angsty daughter, God? You would be the aunt. You would be the the county aunt.

Yeah, yeah, the wacky aunt. Yeah, the Chinese I get away from I told you not to be with him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, scary bird waiting a park. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm the ceramic aunt that you go and visit. What would Mike be? Yeah, what would I be? The daughter, the kid that they left home alone that she would terrorize.

Yeah, you'd be the nephew of mine that I'm a less than it haunts you. Guys, you're like the stifler. You'll be the stifler guy. The stifler. You'll be like, fuck you. What's wrong with that? He made a career out. No way. Am I this? Yeah, she wore you, league league. I have to do that. You're playing with your shit right now. Probably what? I said, your hands are in your use playing with your shit right now. Probably what?

I said your hands are in your pants playing with your shit right now. You look fucking weirdo. You look good, Bobby. I don't know what to do. I was a good weird, you look at left. I like that. That's all I got.

Yeah, so I regularly stalk Gabby's Instagram, like a creep. I just fucking excellent. I see it nice, I zipped past it. And I heard Gabby you were saying, how good I am in bed on the last show. That's what people were telling me. I haven't heard that I not me Disgusting. Yeah, not interested. But other people have said that. Yeah, you would never you would never you asked me this every show No, I'm not every show a lot, but not a lot. Yeah, how old are you? I'm 39

You would never have sex with him. What about Michael? Oh sure, okay? Yeah, we have a Gabby Gabby we have sex you would never have sexual law where you guys sex Before him we have a good report to they do they have a good banter Yeah, yeah, that's a turn on good banter. Yeah Hey, you can very sweet see how kind he's been the whole time is very sweet But who wants that no girls want a fucking sweet kind boy. I want to kind of you want to go I just don't come out of the case and you're ugly. You're fat. I'm out of here They want to close me fat and ugly all the time. Oh, yeah, you know, he's right different

Report I Don't call you fat. I stopped doing that. She's not ugly who her. Yeah, she's not I like he's hot Yeah, I'm yeah, she got a confidence thing about her that fucking is but I know. Who her? She's not. I like you. She's not. She's got a confidence thing about her that fucking is, but I know. It's kind of making my dick shrink into my body.

I don't think I can handle her. Yeah, you need to have a huge. Try living with her dog. I do not have a huge. Well, if you live with her, you would just start agreeing with her too. You live with her, you're just like, yeah, let her, she got it.

She's got it. Yeah, we got the reins. This is why I could never have roommates again. Just fucking, you gotta come together. We have such together with time. We can even have a big house and we run around like animals. We have a room that's pretty much empty that we just rassle it.

You know what I mean? We just fucking, you put those weird fingers down for the rest of the two. Yo, shit. I'm glad that you noticed. This freaked me the fuck out. I was like, you fucking up, ready? Every comedy picture is just like me filling

with my hands, Just fucking freaking out. He's the hands of a mechanic. Yeah. A fingernail inside over there. I mean, he's got hookah hands. Yeah. What were you saying about her? Are you like women?

No, no, no, no. Unfortunately, I like men. It's a huge issue. But I have three lesbian moms. Yeah, she's raised by lesbians. Oh, that's cool. That's cool. Yeah. I know a couple friends of mine are Lesbians. Yeah, well don's friends up and her best friends up when we live or two mom don is a good voice

To the husband and they have the father's a the two fathers a gay What a dream see that everybody everybody everyone has AIDS and no That's why I'm working seller Everybody, everybody, everyone has AIDS. And no, Jesus Christ, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's So the dads were gay and they gave them the sperm to have the kids go to the sea and the dads to. It's actually how they created COVID. Was that expected? Yeah, it wasn't a panda. It was in the Wuhan lab. They made this quadruple gay baby and it unleashed COVID onto society.

Do you think the babies gonna be gay? No, the kids are, I mean, they've just- Hold on, he was about to say something. Oh, shit. I said, I don't think they allow that in China. Double gay babies. That's true. They were fucking- There was your other babies.

Double gay. It's like double champ. Double gay. Double champ. It's champ champ. It is funny. I wonder if the boys though, I just, I don't, they're not gay.

I don't think they're gay. They're two young, one of them is, but I think they're, because it's nature and nurture. They're being raised by gays and they're made from gays. It's like a hundred percent that these kids are going to be gay. You're right. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, You're gay. You guys know nothing about science. Mm. I love it. I love it. Sounds like a closeted gay man who's like, there, everybody else is gay. My parents are straight, so I'm straight. That sounds horrible. Okay. It's up to him when I'm straight.

My parents are straight. I've been gay for the bit like eight times. I'm not afraid of my gayness. I suck Bobby Kelly's dick on fucking camera. That's great. That was disturbing. What the fuck was that? Who the fuck are you talking to, bro?

I suck his dick, bro. I suck his fucking dick. He will fight you. I know, I know. And you won't. Go to the same train. He goes to him still. I know, I just can get out of here with you little bitch.

Did you fucking, you fought, you actually fought it, dude, right? I did fight it, guys. How did that go? I won. I'm under bearded. Um, yeah, you did, but here's the thing, the, the dildo, you bought the dildo. I did. I thought, you don't have a bit about this in my act now, right? No, I don't want to hear. You fucking d the dildo, you bought the dildo. I did. I thought you don't have a bit about this in my act now, right?

No, I don't want to hear. You fucking dildo. No, he bought a dildo. We had a blowjob competition. A friend of mine, Bailey J, who was like the number one trans porn star in the world is a good friend of mine. And he is a good friend of mine. We had a blowjob competition live. So he goes to me, he goes, he, you want to do this? And I'm a young comic, right? I'm impressionable.

He's taken advantage of me, by the way. This is my personal lead too. That's what he does. It's really true. So I was like, I want to do this. Anything to get on stage, whatever, let the sellers right when they opened up the village on the ground for comedy shows.

It was like this big deal, 250 people, live podcast recording taping. And I bought the Dildo, which was the problem. He bought his deck. I bought it, I bought, no, it was white. I would. It was a five inch. It was like a, it was a four and three quarter inch dick. It couldn't have looked any more like Bobby's dick.

It was misshapen. It was miscolored. But I put it, my dick is nice. Really? Yeah, I got that fuck. Let's see. Who it out? Well, it was nice.

Let's put it down. Okay. Used to be nice. Now it's, what happened to it? Now it's hidden. It's hidden in between a slice and stomach. It's inside. It's inside. It doesn't have to be nice. Now it's... What happened to it? Now it's hidden. It's hidden in between a slice and stomach. It's inside. It would take a lot to get it. It's inside.

Yeah, you'd have to... You guys would have to... It's in a tree and actually... It's in a tree and actually... It's in a tree and actually... It's in a tree and actually... It's in a tree and actually... It's in a tree and actually...

It's in a tree and actually... It's in a tree and actually... It's in a tree and actually... It's in a tree and actually... It's in a tree and actually... It's in a tree and actually... It's in a tree and actually... It's in a tree and actually...

It's in a tree and actually... It's in a tree and actually... It's in a tree and actually... It's in a tree and actually... It's in a tree and actually... It's in a tree and actually... Yeah, so but he what happened the reason why it look real is that I put it through my zipper So instead of holding it up. I put it through the zipper. Yeah, so it looked like so But he was sucking my so I go I go first right and I really like I'm competitive So I really want to stop you I'm gonna stop you right now. What you're lying You've sucked a dick because the technique he used no, I've had my dick stuff I've had my dick so I Have had my dick sucked well you went I

Spent on it. You went no you went like this you went Down and then you re-healed back to I put my hand in between his legs and grabbed his ass cheek and I pulled him into my face crowd by the way, the crowd, standing ovation. I didn't know any of these people were tactic. At this point of ovation, but the girl, hold on, hold on, hold on. It's supposed to be 30 seconds. It's the buzzer goes off. I keep going.

I keep, I'm like, I'm choking tears or rolling down my face. I'm literally filling up. Tears are rolling down my face. The crowd's chanting my fucking name. That's it. How did you not get hard? I was No way I was but I had a dick in front of my dick holding my dick down Thank God he did so good the my friend but hold on hold but she that's not why it is so that's what happened

She was just smart Billy Jay. It's her turn to go. I was like follow that and I dropped the mic. I was like follow that bitch I said that's your drop the day. He dropped a dick. Yeah, and then she goes she goes. Yeah I dropped the mic. I was like, follow that bitch. I said that's your word. He dropped a dick. Yeah. And then she goes, she goes, yeah, I'm good. I forfeit. He wins. So I just stuck his dick on stage for no reason. For no reason.

Cracked losing their fuck of mine, but here's what's funny. Now it is 10 years later. Everyone can just literally just screen grab a thing on their phone. So now there's just a 38 second clip of me sucking. Like he thought I saw Bobby Kelly's deck on stage. I did. I thought that was a bit. No, no, no, no, no.

People see it. Oh my God. I have people hit me up like, dude, what the fuck? Like what happened? Wow. But I have to, to my son one day, I have to sit him down and show it to him and be like, listen, this is what a bit is. Wow.

And his son and my son are best friends. And I'm going to have to avoid that. I'm going to have to tell my son to this, what a bit is. Wow. And his son and my son are best friends. And I'm going to have to go. I'm going to have to tell my son to this, how you bitch something like you make somebody a bitch. Yeah. I'm just like you dig like this. Yeah, make sure that grab your ass and trust it forward. You're under arrest.

I'm a best best friend. That's same age. Same age. Same age. Their whole lives. Yeah. Their whole life. Like it was frozen.

Yeah. They caught up to it. Their whole lives. I'm frozen. Yeah, they're all what do you mean? Their whole lives have been frozen. Yeah, they caught up to get their frozen and then that's what I thought. That's what I thought. That's what I thought. Um, they've been friends since they were little. I mean, since they were babies, that's so sweet. Every birthday, they post. You guys forced them to, are you guys like,

Oh, they're good. No, they, they are best friends. Wow. These kids are going to be fucked up. Yeah, yeah. Hopefully, yeah, they'll be fucked up in a good way. Max a little more than James. But here's the thing.

No, I hope your kids a little more. Me and Mike, you'll be cooler. Actually, this kid's a little... This kid's gonna be a problem trial, probably high school. Get a problem, get a some check back there. Yeah, and his kid's probably... Just give me one of those fucking, you know, little fucking...

Feed a alcohol syndrome. Yeah, some of you are totally. When your kid has their mother in their life, both of them. Both of them. Yeah, both gonna turn out okay. I mean, I live with Sandra. Yeah, some of you are totally. When your kid has their mother in their life, both of them. Both of them. Yeah, both gonna turn out okay. I mean, I live with mine. Yeah. You know, he has a more established home.

He's got two or three mothers. He's got a couple dads, few moms, all good. No, our kids, yeah, and we both practice safe sex. Safe sex. No, the other one of us here. We know, we try it. uh... safe sex safe sex hahaha hahaha hahaha No, the other one of us had a We know we tried it

We don't really yell at them too much Camp in that one time when it was a hundred out and we were hot We were like I don't, I never yell We don't really yell that much But camp and we yelled a little bit that That's a great big Jay joke

He said on the Vosros for me He goes, Lewis, Jaygo,ago was practiced peaceful parenting, but violent friending. That's true. You're like, you're like Gordon Ramsay. Well, no, there was always a violent asshole. But then I had a kid and then I just, Mike's on fire.

Mike's on fire. Mike's on fire. Oh, I'll announce this for the, and a Bobby, and then I just, Hey, Mike's on fire. Mike's on fire. Mike's on fire. Yeah. Oh, I'll announce this for the, and a Bobby wants you to be part of it at Skankfest South. November 5th or 7th, Houston, Texas,

Skankfest, Nefertiketson, July 12th, 8am, the roast of Louis J. Gomez being filmed and taped at Skankfest. Oh, that's great. Don't think about going to Austin for it. The here, can I just say something? This is why I hate,

okay, I, yes, that's an honor to roast you. I'm not going to say that, but roast like somebody is such a pain in the ass. It is. There's just so much work that goes into it. And, you know what I mean? It's like, fuck me. And then you're going to do it. And it is worth it at the end. But when we roasted Vos, it was like, you know, a month and a half of trying to come up with shit to say about this asshole. And it's just, I don't know. It's like, now I have to pay.

It's like, now a month and a half to pay a younger, funny comedian to write your jokes. I didn't pay, I paid one guy for two jokes in that I didn't even use. I'm kidding, I'm just kidding. I'll be saying. I use them in bits later. Yeah.

If I do a roast, I can pull them out in like an audience member. I'm like, you look like a guy who, you know, covers your ears and a friend. Here's a problem when you get like I actually was like Mike help me with this and he gave me a couple things But it was like I fuck it it didn't matter and then when you're in the thing You kind of go off on tangents and do your own thing anyways. Yeah, and it what I mean you know what I mean? So it's it's all this work for this time and it's like I, I can't, now I can't enjoy Skankfest.

I still say no, dude. No, I can't, I have to face you. Oh my God, it's gonna be great. It's gonna be really fun. You can pay me, I'll write some shit. Oh my God, she's gonna be a Skankfest now. All right, that's great. Just long time.

We come to Skankfest? I don't know, are you gonna kill Jews or something? We have. Yes, Skankfest. Are you Jewish? No, but I don't wanna kill any of them. Don't get defensive about it. I like that little gay kid over there. We don't want to kill any of you. Don't get defensive about it. And let that little gay kid over there.

We don't kill them at Skankfest. We bust them to another location. Yeah, they can capture them at Skankfest. Yeah, that's why they get them all the way. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go. That's great, man. That's awesome. It's gonna be fun.

It's gonna be great. Can I post it real quick? Please go. Got a bunch of names to announce. Are you gonna announce them now? Oh, let's announce them. I'm not gonna get a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a

little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a

little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a It was funny. I mean, we, I look, Skankfest's out in the November 5th or 7th Houston, Texas, Seeker group. It is going to be three stages, big outdoor stage under the fucking stars doing crazy shows at night. What we can announce so far, I mean, lineups, the lineups, you know, Skankfest, we had 120 of

the best comedians in the fucking world. Some people we can't announce just yet. There's going to be some special guess as well. But if you want to get crazy, the great rapper Kelly is going to be at Skankfest. want to get crazy the great rapper Kelly's gonna be a skankfest I would have been fucking Shane Gillis gonna be a skankfest Danny boy soldiers gonna be a skankfest Joe list is gonna be a skankfest the fucking although why can't it be the regulars? That's nice. Yes, we got fucking obviously the lesion of skanks big J. O'Courish and Dave Smith and myself Yeah, the guys we fucked Christina Hutchinson and current fish her current mesquer Joe de Rosa Mike Cannon Mike Feney Mike Racine Hutchinson and current fish or current Mesker, Joe DeRosa, Mike Cannon, Mike Fini, Mike

Racine. Want to get some big names? What about Doug Stanhope being a Skankfest this year? What about Bob Sagitt being a Skankfest this year? What about Gilbert Gottfried being a Skankfest this year? Bob, you're supposed to be like getting excited about it. Yeah. I was actually, I was typing Rick back there about something in Skankfest.

Florentine, fucking, the, uh, the loud boys are gonna be there. Uh, the loud boys. Yeah, very people are very excited about them. Uh, buh buh buh buh. That's really it. No, no, there's many black person in there, maybe Mike Vekion is gonna be a skater. Oh, women's any women.

Uh, Jessica Kersen's gonna be there. There you go. Why am I so excited? I hate her again now. Yeah, who's hit? I should do that. Nobody cares about black people. Nobody cares about black or we'll stop. Stop with your hood shit.

Yes, hold on. Let me start naming all the black people, guys. We have to show you that we're inclusive. So here's some black people. Kerry Codd is a black woman. Yeah. Katie Hanigan. Yeah.

Apparently, warm up. KD Han again. Yeah! Apparently Han's gonna be there. Natalie Wormo. Oh, we got fucking... Let's see Sean pet not the guy. I'm gonna get so many followers for that black people or women comment that I get. Yeah, let's see. Holy...

Oh, Willie Hunter's a black. We got another black. Yeah. I think you overestimate who listens to this pop. I think you're right. Yeah, no, they're Trump. You're right. Yeah, no, they're trying I'm gonna get hate male I'm just gonna get a fucking thumb in the Mail

Kim Carpens she's a she's almost a black come on. She's a woman. Uh, hold on We got some more women that both you consider that but Helen or Carigan is a woman David. This is a black. Yeah, uh, let's see let's see Brian Moses another black We have lots of blacks happy. Yeah, I'm very happy. I'm very pleased good. Thank you Just so you know guys we have blacks and women as well Just we're only naming the foremost famous people It really was when you hit us with a hard mic can and Mike Feney and Micraseen that really just I had to say something I mean she was a lot white. It was a lot of white. You really just did a now it's all the white It was enough of it all I can see his white. It was a lot of white. You really just did a now tall the white. Yes. It was that all.

I can see his phone. It's segregated between black and red. No, that's just funny and not funny. I mean, the line is like, literally Aaron Berg, Adrian Apollucci, Amy Letterman, Aure Shefear, the great Aure Shefear will be back at Skankfest this year, which is great. Aure Sagole was coming, Brian Holtz, who's a one of the funniest mother fuckers. You know, Holtsman now, dude, he's a monster, dude.

I saw he was the the the the the parade show down and Austin. It was fucking crazy. Com Turls going to be there. Who love column comes hilarious. Dude. Yeah. Got the fucking or you garbage guys, age foley and Kevin, whatever his name is. Jason Ellis is going to be there.

We're doing open workouts. We're doing the fucking. Fight. Maybe who knows what'll happen at the press conference. If he pops off, I'll punch him right in his fucking mouth. That's gangfest. I just saw I've been following him and I saw him. And physically he's lost a lot of weight.

Yeah. He's very thinned out. He's thin. And you and you you are in the probably the top shape you've ever been. No, no. Oh, that's your, you're almost in the same shape. I got four and a half months.

I'm getting, like it's gonna get crazy. Can I just give you a compliment and you roll with it? I know, because I heard you bet against me on the last show. I, Gabby, did I? No, he bet for you. How many times I get a fucking tight? So do I bet against you. Why don't you believe me?

You don't accept love into your heart, what your parents do. What they do? They died. Well, they died. You don't you believe me? You don't accept love into your heart. What your parents do. They died. They died. You're your friend. Your friends trying to love you here. Is it more to we be my therapist? Yeah. Yeah.

We work on a scale. Yes. Oh, you sometimes sometimes I'm making money sometimes I love you every time you hang up the phone. No, we can earn that. I can earn that. Yeah. You have to submit a tape. I get a wet your tape. I got to say I love you every time you hang up the phone. No, we can earn that. I can earn that. I earn that.

You have to submit a tape. I get a bunch of tape. Get it except you in. Dude, listen to me. I did not, what are you doing? It's getting shy. No, I'm looking to see if there's anybody else. Did you just say he's getting shy?

Do it for God-free that's gang-fest. That's great. Hey, what? I bet for you. I'm on your side. Mean Joe List. It's true. That him $ you. I'm on your side. Mean Joe list. It's true. That hit him $100.

Yep. Good. Dan Soda. Dan thinks you're gonna lose. Dan's a bitch. Who is it? It's you versus who? Jason Ellis. I don't know. Who's a radio guy, but he's got two professional fights.

He's a professional fighter. Yeah. Yeah, he's real. How many fights has he had? A roughly two professional fights. How many fights have you had? I've had one amateur fight. Yes.

Wow, this is a good, but he's thinner and smaller. But he's like, he's like, been these, he's had four. I would have been on this, four and a little addicted to gambling, let's do it. Yeah, I bet on it, bet on me. Is there money on it? There will be, yeah. Really? I bet a hundred bucks.

Is he wirey? No, he's like, he's older than me, though. Who's taller? Who's taller? I'm gonna say this. Okay, I'm betting on you then. Geez, he's raised. I'm gonna say this, he's. Looking like a true girl.

He's like, the taller guy wins. He's very fat. Yeah, yeah, the woman. The, I'm betting on you then. Geez, he's right. I'm gonna say this. He's... Looking like a true real estate. Like the taller guy wins. He's very fat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The woman, the taller guy gets there every time. He's very, don't clap those hands out of it. I'm gonna have to write your whole lap. But you know, she's gonna call on a whole. Yeah.

Fuck an X-Men power. This is the fucking soundwave. Blows all the speakers out. This is... I, uh... No, he, no. Ellis is faster. Ellis is fast. He has had to. blows all the speakers out. That's I know he though Ellis is faster. Ellis is fast.

He has had to his head movement. My head movement. Oh, he has head tattoos that changes. He does have head tattoos. Yeah. Can I see a picture? Yeah. Yeah. We'll bring it up.

We can bring it up. Chris Dallas. His head movement is fast. Jason Ellis is geek. It's snoozing over there. There's he's up.

No, the jurist was he was he snoozing? He was. Max. You fucking sleep in this. He's up. He's up. The, the know. I think you're going to win though because are you going to go full full? Pull up his Instagram. You're going to probably find a video of him training easier than on his YouTube channel. Yeah. I think he's going to, I think he's going to, he's going to be tough for you, but I think you're going to be tough as far. Yeah. Now you have to take him down, right? Yeah. It's MMA. I'm not, can I ask? I'm not doing this because I think I'm going to win. I'm doing it because I want to challenge myself and see if I can beat him up.

MMA, there are gloves. Yeah, what do you like to stay standing or do you like to take it to the ground? I mean, I think I'm a better boxer than I am Jiu Jitsu. Well, what size gloves? We're gonna do MMA gloves. Oh, how small, yeah. How's your precision with your hands?

It's okay, I do pretty good. I mean, I don't know, it's a weird thing to say because I know real fighters, like I trade, like it's a very I do pretty good. I mean, I don't know, it's a weird thing to say because I know real fighters, like I trade, like it's a very strange thing to say. So you're not gonna give yourself too much credit. I can't, like I'm not a good fighter. Yeah. When you compare, like compared to Jason Ellis,

I think I'm gonna be able to match up well, but compared to people who really don't have a fight, I'm like a fat, slow old man. I swear, because the reason why we all kind of swish a little bit, we saw you fight Bisming and Bisming kidney punched you and knocked you the whole down. Yeah. And you went down quick.

Yeah, he's a former middleweight champion of the world. But yeah, he's a fucking. This is why I think in a win. Go back up, hit the bike video. Oh yeah. Oh geez. Are you gonna be silent? Do that off camera, long in.

Somehow. Well, whatever. Yeah, I don't know. I'm betting on you though. I think you're gonna win. I think, and here's what I wanna do. I wanna get everybody to go to Vegas that weekend. We do a big show somewhere, maybe at the salad, maybe at the plaza, okay?

We do a big comedy show. The night after your fight. So we all go, go. I'm gonna be in the ER. Yeah, yeah, yeah all go out to be in the e-r yeah maybe a really fun year is gonna have a great fucking time as i'm fucking getting my head stitched back together because this fucking are you in a savage fucking yeah i'm nervous obviously yeah

i was nervous in the last night the last guy fault was a fucking pussy so i was i was terrified of chasing it can they punch to no that was a fucking pussy. So I was terrified of shaking. Wait, the pussy, couldn't they punch too? No, no, that was a former UFC champion. Oh, the pussy is the one guy that you've beat? Yeah. Well, I might have to change my back. Yeah, he was a pussy and I was terrified going out

to that fight. How long do you have until this fight? Like four and a half months. Oh, okay, cool. I got some time. Yeah, plenty of time. Ooh, we should do Rocky Bobo a montage of him training. Well, he has it on us.

He has a training video. What's it called? It's just me dating a retard a chick We There is right there. I mean, this is the part that I was I mean, oh my god. He's training. He's shaying Lewis might have a hard time Lewis might and then I went like, I mean, oh my God, he's training, he's training. Lewis might have a hard time. He doesn't seem nice. Lewis might, and then I went like, man, Lewis is probably gonna be the man. Oh, oh.

You know what, he's thinned out, dude. His arms, he's lean. He's my type. Yeah. How you like that? Yeah. You like that? Who doesn't like?

He's 50. Yeah. Mostly the tattoos. Gabby, I have tattoos all over the place. You're not for me, baby. Gabby. Wow. tattoos all over the place. You're not for me, baby. Gabby, wow. I'm literally substantially more attractive that you literally look like you came out of your closet.

I, hey, I'm not saying you want to fuck me, dude. It's no one I see it, you know what I mean? Yeah. He doesn't look good. His head movement is fucking sick. Oh, he's got good head. Look at that. Look how fast it's his fucking wife, idiot.

Yeah, he's, no, this isn't like a fucking head movement. But that's not an example of that. He's up to his eyes, he looks at the fucking shit. Look at that. Look how fast. It's a fucking white idiot. Yeah, he's no, this isn't like a good head movement, but that's not it. He's at his eyes. He looks at the fucking ground. Don't go see if there's another one of fighting a guy. Could scroll down. No, Nicole. First way, who's doing the his head movement? Who's doing this right now? Nicole, is that you? Look, he's fighting that. Max. I'm actually doing a great job. That's good. Um, we'll be just fucking knocked. We're gonna find a fight. We'll be just fucking knocked right. Oh, put her in the head.

Scroll down. Yeah, this is gonna be an epic fight. Here's what we do. We go. Look at this head movement, man. There's no gloves on. Whoa. Yeah, that's that's Ryan Sackler. He's not a fighter. It's just a comic. Yeah, but it's still what it takes to impress. Wait, is that due to comment? This is fine. This guy who's punching him doesn't even have good form. Oh, the Australian guys are coming. Max, try to go scroll that way down and find somebody. Hey dude, let me ask you a question. I, we go down. Yeah, we go down.

Take it off, he can't look, Max, take it off the screen. He's a dog. He's like a shit too. If he sees it, he's gonna look at it. Okay, thank you. We go down the week and a year fight. What is it on a Friday Saturday? Uh, one or the other. We don't have a it. Okay, thank you. We go down the weekend of your fight. What is it on a Friday Saturday? One of the other, we don't have a date.

Okay, so we go down Friday, and then we have a comedy show. Yes, the day after your fight, you're not gonna be in the hospital. You come down and we will do the show, you just enjoy it, and it'll be an honor to you. You're trying to get me to watch your comedy show? Now we'll go have a big show.

It's a great year. You buy two drinks, 30 bucks a day for your friends. It would be great, dude. I'll get you a discount. We do your roast that night, no. And we'll do a big show. That way everybody can also serve as this funeral too. It's all set up.

Everything's all set up. What a great comedy show that would be. Right. Is if you do, if you do. To your Shiva. Yeah. People laugh and laugh a shiver Then we have to go to Vegas ever you had to do you dumb benefit fucking poor shit on the foot where you died

Like Patrice but less cool Mike's on fire. Mike's on fire. Don't clap. Don't clap. He's just pressed. Sounds like I'm a fucking sea world. I listen, we're going to do the extra half right now. We're going to do plugs. We're going to get everything out of the way.

But if you're a Patreon member, stick around. We're going to go an extra half. I want to bring a couple things up, patreon.com.sas. Robert Kelly, so if you're watching this on YouTube, you wanna watch the rest of this episode, please go to Robert Kelly, patreon.com.sas. Robert Kelly and become a member.

I'm gonna go, Mike, we're gonna go right down the line. What do you got? What do you got to promote? What's going on? Oh, me and Jordan are gonna be at SoulJoles co-headlining on fucking who goes at who goes last. Uh Jordan because she's had a lot of Jordan headlines.

Thank you for making that so clear. Oh, I mean that's kind of a headliner. I'm gonna be the long feature set at SoulJoles. I'm gonna be doing the same amount of time. If you if you look at the website, it says double headliner. Yeah, I mean you can go second if you want. No, I don't want to. No, you, if you look at the website, it says double headliner. I mean, you can go second if you want. No, I don't want to.

No, you're there. Wow, the confidence. Yeah, she's like, she's like, follow me pussy. Yeah, I like it. Yeah. Let's see. We get this way. You didn't have that. That's why I promise.

It's changed, dude. You got to fucking. Yeah, we did put each other. Yeah, I know. All right. What do you got? You doing so, Joe? What is the old Jules on July 11th?

And then we're, catch me at the seller Kansas City. You got a website or something. Yeah, you can go on my website to microlling.com. There you go. Microlling. There you go, buddy. What do you got, Lou? I guess I've come to this comes out Sunday, you say?

Sunday, yeah. Okay, so. Patreon is watching live right now. They're in the chat right now. So good I'm gonna patreon over down. We're both you got it. We're on patreon right now. We're both but right now is going out Sunday Sunday The everybody okay. Yes, so yeah, I'm gonna be alright So if you're on patreon July 9th is Friday night me and Dave Smith double headlining

And I will be no, you know, I will, well, you go up and have to Dave. You think Dave has the energy to follow me? Yeah, like I got a Trump. Oh, he needs the energy to be your friend. Let's see, yeah, July 9th, that's me. Dave Smith, special guest, Zach Amigo, Providence, Comedy Connection, Outdoor Show, one night only. July 16th, seven.

Outdoor! They have the tent back. Yeah, I love that. That fucking club's the best. You're going to go to federal little pizza when you're there. No, I can't do pizza right now. You're going to go there because it's really good pizza. So I 16, 17 stress factory in Bridge, parking, I'm headlining the 8 p.m. shows and then we are doing the depraved live

at 10 p.m. Both nights, what's the depraved? The depraved. It's the dirtiest show in the world, baby. It's not even just a dirty show. You got to start off with your most fucked up joke and then dig yourself out of that hole. The Louis Shacoom is special, we call it. And yeah, it's just a bunch of great comics, Jessica Kursin,

Aaron Berg, Colin Turrell, like six or seven comics are gonna be on the show. Grab tickets for both, come to the eight and then stick around for the 10 for the depraved. I'll be hosting those shows later. Then July 22nd to 24th American Comedy Company, San Diego, 26 through the depraved at Comedy Store in Los Angeles,

California, 20th or 31st Uncle Vinnie's and Point Pleasant. And then we're back at the stress factory in New Brunswick with the depraved again with the great rich boss, Joe Les Ascius, you didn't get back to me. There's a reason for that. He was eating. Lewisofskanks.com, check out all my other podcasts, Legion of Skanks, Real Ass Podcast, believe you me and the, and get your tickets right now for Skank Fest. It's going to sell out. It will.

There are not unlimited tickets. It does sell out. So get your tickets right now. Skank Fest South, I mean, the list is, and they have black people and girls. Black people and girls, even though we don't want want to we try to not have black people are women But a few of them got through so yeah a few so if that's your thing if that's a requirement to go to a festival like some people We have them. We we have them Some people don't like killing Jews Who you guys talking about me? Killing Jews Who you guys talking about me?

I'm gonna kill that kid as soon as I walk in here. What the fuck you do? Jesus Christ. She does rule. I can't deny it. I'm so happy she's not what I thought she was. I am. She walked in like a fucking... Oh, when I first saw her, I hate her. Literally, when she walked in, I was like, God, those jeans are too high. They made me feel...

I got to do highways to jeans. I used to be a fat girl, so I got to keep everything in. You know, I mean, I got to suck it all up. Just get some spanks and call it a day. Okay. What'm opening for a particular forsaken comedian in Pennsylvania in November. But if it doesn't line up, who's forsaken? His name runs with gooest D.Gay. Oh, you're, oh, you're open for Louis. Yeah, yeah. Nice. That's in November.

That's in PA at some places. Yeah. And I'm working with him tonight, by the way. Who knows if Louis will be a Skankfest who knows what'll happen? You So Louis gay and then I'm going with Michael Rowland to the He's this kid. Oh, we don't worry about it. What's up Mike? That's it soul Joes on the 11th. We are also going down south will be in

Louisville. At Planet of the Takes. At Planet of the Takes, the 17, 18, 19, or something around then, you can look it up. And we'll also be co-headlining in Nashville on the 23rd together. 20 seconds. Oh, sorry, 20 seconds.

20 seconds, Zany's in Nashville. And then some a bunch of Atlanta shit that we will post on our social medias. Mine is Jordan Jensen, LOL stop. Oh, and mine is Michael Roland, Oh, underscore. Oh, you didn't change it. I know. Yeah, you do.

It's got to happen. Gabby, what do you got real quick? Let's go through this. I have a show with the stand called Guess what It's Wednesday. The next one is July 20th, which is a Tuesday. I'm touring in Chicago, the 29th through the first of this month Opening for Julian McCullough and at the laugh actor in Zanies and that's it follow me on a cabbier's brine And of course, listen I'm Robert Kelly stick around. We're gonna go for a little while longer if you're on patreon.com So that's Robert Kelly if not

Thank you so much for watching on YouTube and make sure you click the subscribe and like and comment button I don't give a fuck tell us us it sucked. Trash me. Tell us you love us. Whatever you want. Hit some comment buttons and make sure you hit the subscribe button. Stop watching this shit and just moving on to some other video.

How to fix your fucking sink. Subscribe. So we'll let you know when we are doing this show. And I'm gonna be go to robacadolive.com. Lafayette, Louisiana Club 337 brand new club for me down there, which I'm excited about. And then that is on the 10th, the 9th and the 10th. That's this weekend. Did you lie 26th? I'm doing the nasty show at the stand from Montreal Adjustful Offs, the 29th and the 31st, I will be at Port Charlotte, Vassani's, I love that fucking club.

Vassani's, it's gonna sell out to get you tickets. Comedy Connection of Ireland on the August 12th and August 15th, so make sure you check that out. And then I'm in Philly at the punchline, the August 26th through the 28th, sides put a September. I just put another bunch of fucking shows up there. The Krebsworth kids stuff is up there, governors is up there,

comedy and Carlson's up there. So make sure you go to robacadolive.com and check it out. We got all kinds of new t-shirts on comicwearables.com. You got the dance soda, Robert Kelly, Irish affair, Mike Calta, you got fuck, Doug Bell. Those shirts are coming off this week. They're almost gone.

So if you want to fuck Doug Bell, you got Cal's bells. You got the new, it's just the pink shirt up there, YKWD. You got the knot, you shirt up there. All. And if you want a little quick thing, you can get YKWD hat, the Calter and Kelly stuff. Comicwearables.com, use code word ladybug, little fucking thing, get 20% off ladybug.

Oh, little fucking thing. There's a little fucking thing, Maria. Little fucking thing for you. Is that one of your kids? That's only kid, I don't have the other kids. That's your kid. The other ones I feel, I love Max. The other ones I get rid of.

Look at his little dimples. Yeah, it's cutie. Yeah, he's a good kid, man. All right, so there you go. What else do I have to promote? That's it, there we go. So anyways, we're on the, are you on your phone right now? Are you done?

He's texting. We're back in the show. I'm launching a fucking comedy festival. Take us to go on sale in six days. I'm sort of in the middle of just doing a lot of things. Yeah. We'll put it down for 10 more minutes. Okay, thank you.

Thank you. You're welcome. With Michael Males, also at Skankfest this year, you're welcome with Michael Males, thank you. Who's that? He's great, he's uncastigial. Yeah, I don't know. He's great.

All right, let's read the names real quick. These are new Patreon members, $10 members. Can I read them? Yeah, you can read them, but $10, you read the $10, I'll do the five ten dollars get a little extra okay uh... we're gonna

uh... uh... uh... and now uh... lifted life for by four what's i don't know that i think he's plugging his fucking business uh... good good i think it's a truck go ahead, go ahead. I think it's a truck. Go ahead, you read this one. Brendan, M Campbell with $5 a month, thank you, Brendan.

Yes, can I be go? Natalie, what's up, my bitch? Absolutely, $5 a month, yes. My bitch, what are you saying? So aggressive for, I mean, there's no middleman with you, is there? I don't know. What do you got Mike Derek various Congratulations

Mike not being as funny as you Brian And mouth come on down you're the next contestant on donating $10 to a patreon with less interesting content New year the next contestant on donating $10 to a patreon with less interesting content Robin bug Leo, eh coming in with $10 per month. It is less. Yeah, this fucking broad this fucking book Elias Elriff I would have put it up. I wonder what it is Ellis Elias Elriff Elriff, thanks. Thank you very much. No, that's it. That's it.

That's it. All right, check it out everybody. Lewis Gomez. Check out Lewis Gomez. Say go, man. Lewis Jay Gomez. Make sure you check out Skankfest South. It is happening right now.

Make sure you check out Mike and check what's your name again. Jordan Jensen. She's very funny. Mike is very funny too, guys. Thanks for coming on. Do you have a good time? Yeah. Awesome.

And Gabby, what do you got? Follow me on Instagram and Twitter, at Gabby is Brian and all my shows and stuff is up there. And Mush was not here today, but we had Nicole and Max who are stepping in to produce the show. How are you guys feeling? You all right?

Pretty good. Pretty good. Well, there you go. What's that? Into the mic. How are you guys feeling, you all right? Pretty good, pretty good. Well, there you go. What's that? Into the mic. A little good about it. You feel good? Yeah. He is cute, a little cute.

You like booger? Look at him. Look at him. Yeah, all right, a little booger. There you go. That's like booger for Mavanger the Nerds. That's why I said, I got it. Thanks.

I was just confirming that you were corrected in the assumption. I appreciate it. This is a good energy to go out on. Yeah. I mean, so you make correct. I appreciate it. There's a good energy to go out on. Yeah. Let me tell you something. Make sure you go to patreon.com, make sure you subscribe, make sure you go to the YouTube page.

If you remember patreon hit like and subscribe to that. And we'll see you guys next week on You Know What The Thanks. That was good man. That's fine. you