Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Vinny G | Shower Power

Episode Date: April 21, 2024

This week, Bobby is joined by Jersey Shore cast member Vinny G. They talk about getting on Jersey Shore originally and the reboot, Vinny's time as a Chippendale, and how he has just recently started doing stand-up. Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Buddy, they wanted nothing to do, I mean, literally. I'm not doing anymore though, that's the sad part. I retired, I hung the cock sock up. Can I have it? Yeah, yeah, you got it. Can you sign the cock sock for me? Yep, it'll be used, never washed. I wanna put it in the studio.

Yes, let's do it. I'm gonna get it framed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that'd be a great. It's like Jordan's Jersey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, baby, we're starting the podcast right now We're back. You know what do live welcome everybody to the show

Started social media podcast Like these back again Where it all started before the mall Podcast is so fun and crazy. It has no rules. God help me, I'm ruining this. Where's the bomb, Dan? I'm sorry.

It's a comedy podcast. This isn't NPR. That's what this podcast does. Is there any better show? This is the original. What's up everybody? it's Robert Kelly, we're back YKWD. You know what dude? Yeah, I know dude, the name's weird. Go fuck yourself.

Longest running podcast on the East Coast and we're here at the Comedy Cellar Studios back again with another amazing episode. I'm very excited about tonight. Max, who do we got? We got Vinny G. I'd rather you say Vinny G than my last name. I wasn't gonna try. Yeah, thank you. No, no, that's how I tell people to introduce me now on stage and shit is Vinny G. Vinny G. I don't want someone butchering it like. Say the word. It's Guadagnino.

Vinny G. Yeah, exactly. It's Vinny G. I mean Guadagnino. Guadagnino. Guadagnino. There's a silent G in there. Guadagnino.

A lot of things that fuck with you in there. Guadagnino. Guadagnino, yeah. That's Italian? Jewish. That's Jewish. How's it sound? It's's Jewish. How's it tough? It's very Jewish.

Try for what's going on. It's okay. I'm on your side. Thank you. I can tell by the Starbucks. He... He... Mm-hmm.

What was the thing with Starbucks with them? I think they support Israel or something, I don't know. I drink Starbucks every podcast episode and now like... Yeah, oh, you get shit for it? I, yeah, but I don't care. Oh, you don podcast episode and now like yeah, oh you get shit for it I yeah, but I don't care. Oh, you have to worry about on this What those people those people are watching that? Okay. Okay. Yeah, you know when you're when you're famous. Yeah people protest you Rochester like dude last week Tim Dylan and Shane there was people out here I looked there was just a old couple and the lady fell on the lawn on the way. I was like, that's my fan base. Nobody is protesting. Yeah. Um,

he, he, he, he, I mean, Max, can you do it with a little oomph? Vinny G. We got Vinny G. I mean, he just doesn't have it. I should fire him. He doesn't have it. I like it. It's real. It's real. Danny, can you do it? Watch what Danny does. Thank you. We have Vinny G on the podcast. Forget it. Forget it. We're just going to have, I'm going to pay somebody to say it. Yeah. We're going to get an AI. Warm up guy. Yeah, dude. Well, we met on the bonfire. Of course I know you.

Yep. That was fun. From, the bonfire was great. You guys all came in. We've done that for years, like, because we always do that serious XM run. But I think that was the first time you were there when we were. Yeah, I took over for Dan. So, yes, yes, yes. Because he has, you know, hopes and dreams. And and then I have been there for a year.

This month is my first year there. Wow. Yeah. Jay came up to me and was like, you would do this for me. I was like, oh, fucking yeah. Love Jay. Love Jay. He's the best. Yeah, he came up to me and was like, you would do this for me? I was like, go fucking do it for life. Love Jay. Love Jay. He's the best. He's the best. Oh yeah, we always do that serious run.

And it's funny because like they, so like I do comedy now and you know, they don't know who people are and stuff in like the comedy world. They don't know like the podcast world. All the other people. Yeah, my show. Yeah. So like, you know, they're like excited to go do, I don't fucking know, I'm just going to be like Mario Lopez or something like that. Even though he doesn't do a show there, but that

kind of character. And I'm like, no, I want to do Bonfire because I know all you guys. I respect you guys from the scene. It's a better show. I get you got to do the other show, but you do our show and you're going to get a bunch of fans knowing that you guys are fucking, we had a blast. Bunch of ladies falling on the lawn, like you said. We need those too. You do.

You need the chubby ladies falling on the lawn. I mean, you also need those smoking hot chicks checking out. That's true. Let me ask you a question though. Were you from the beginning on Jersey Shore? Yes. Now when they come to you, you don't know these people though, right?

You guys aren't friends. No, we didn't know them. A couple of them knew each other in passing. I knew one girl, I knew this girl Angelina on the show. But yeah, for the most part, it was just like casted as a show with strangers, like the real world. That was like the only other show back then.

The real world, but that kind of ran its course. It was on, but yeah, it was kind of like running its course. Yeah, when Puck was fucking beating people up, it was like, we're done. Yeah. Remember Puck? I do, I do. He's one of the first ones.

Yeah, Dave Edwards. No, I don't remember that one. You don't remember that guy? He pulled the covers off of the girl, and she was like, he attacked me sexually. Oh. That was like the first Me Too on TV. Oh, shit, there you go.

Then he got booted off the show. Wow. But it made him more popular. Back then, there you go. They got booted off the show. Wow. But it made them more popular. Back then if you Me Too'd, you actually got a career. Back in the early aughts. A Hot Me Too was a good one. Well on The Bachelor too, there was some shit that went down a couple years ago.

Like this whole, they had like shut down production because they were drinking a lot of alcohol and things got a little weird between two people. They don't know if there was consent involved and stuff like that. It's getting fucking, it's really sticky on reality TV. It's a party environment, there's alcohol. MTV, it's funny because all these networks

are so politically correct now, but it's like, guys, you did Jersey Shore before that yeah yeah yeah fucking Brett Michaels and flavor flavor yeah I did a show I did a flavor of love flavor love it's just an old rapper fucking a bunch of chicks yeah well no yeah boy even the, like it's the most romanticized, classy reality show, but it's really just about like polygamy. It's like this guy that just dating a bunch of chicks. Yeah.

At the end, the last scene or the last couple episodes, he gets to bang them and then choose who's going to be his wife. And then pretty much like bang them all proposed to one of them. And then the other one has to be like, imagine saying yes to a guy right before, he banged the girl the day before. You gotta test it. Yeah, that's true.

You can't just eat off a buffet. I get the premise. You put a little bit on your plate. I get the premise. And then you go back, I like the lobster. I didn't like the clams. Well, just don't virtue signal it like it's this fucking classy thing, you know?

That was a word I was looking for. I got you, I got you. Thank you, buddy. I'm very smart. You're from Staten Island. Unfortunately. Why do you say that, dude? I love Staten Island. For what, the pizza?

No, I mean the people. I love that, I do. It's, I mean. I call it Guido, Alabama. It is very, it's his own thing. But I love Italian people. I love, when I came up in Boston, I hung out in the Italian section,

South Boston with all the, you know, Jake Gagliotti and all these fucking guys. And I just love the culture of Italian people. Or do you? I love the mob. I miss the mob. Me too. I fucking miss them.

Yeah, me too. I think they're still around. They're legit. They're like, yeah, yeah. They did Godfather 3. They have websites now. Yeah, they all legit. They're like, yeah, yeah. They did Godfather 3. They have websites now. Yeah. They all have podcasts now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, the one time we whacked this guy, what are you guys talking about? I know, I know. It's kind of corny. We can't even get a good mob move anymore because everybody's legit. I know. Remember the fucking mob? Staten Island, there's a lot of mob guys over there, right?

Yeah, I think that's where they used to bury the bodies. In Staten Island, there's a lot of mob guys over there, right? Yeah, I think that's where they used to bury the bodies. In Staten Island? Yeah, I mean, like, Staten Island, I don't know what the reasoning is, but the word kill is in all of our neighborhoods. What? Great kills, fresh kills. Right.

It's like, that's the name of all the fucking neighborhoods there. That's a stream. What do you mean? Kill is like a stream. Like a body of water? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I didn't know that.

I was thinking more of just like the- Who's smart now? There you go, there you go. I was thinking more of the mob, like you know what I mean? But that's where they used to put it. You think they, we're gonna rename this bloody lane. That's what I thought.

No, no. I was going with it. I don't think that, I should have went with you. I denied you and as improv, as I started improv, I should have went with you. You should have yes ended. I did, I fucked up. Well, not do it. As improv, as I started improv, I should have went with you. You should have yes ended. I did. I fucked up. Well, now you did this whole thing, dude. You live this life and then you went off and you did this other thing and now you came back to it.

Did you want to come back or was it like... The first thing or the second thing? Well, you did the first run. Yeah, I was just doing a comedy analyze this joke. You did the middle thing, right? No, it was good. I liked it. I was going with you. Then you did the middle thing, right? Yeah, yeah. You did the middle thing, which I'd, it was good. I liked it. I was going with you. Then you did the middle thing, right? Yeah. You did the middle thing, which I'd like to talk to you about.

The middle thing. OK. The middle thing. All right. Oh, the stripper thing. Yeah, OK. OK, let me give you the timeline. So Jersey Shore does six seasons of the original.

Right. I was 21 to 25 years old. In between, kind kinda nothing really happens, life comes at you fast. Did you think that after all this, cause I've done things where you're on TV in a minute and all, but you think everything's going that way.

But it goes away quick. Instantly, yeah. You know, we're making pretty good money in our last couple seasons, you know what I mean? We're making a couple million. Yeah. And then I went, I'll be lucky if I cleared fucking 20 grand for the year right after that. Because I didn't have a real job or anything.

Yeah, because people don't understand that the only way you're going to make money is on TV. And if they're not putting you on TV for something, if you're not parlaying that into something, it's like, what do you got? You got nothing. And Jersey Shore was even more of a tease because it was like one of the first reality shows that paid the people. Because the ratings were so good that,

it would almost be better if you were just like so and so contested on The Bachelor. You don't even know what it's like to be paid on TV. So you have to keep a real job. We gave up our life, you know? But you guys stayed together on the money back then we did. Yeah. Because what happens with this, like this happened on a couple of comic shows. I did. We're like, this isn't enough. Let's stay together. But there was always one.

I'll do it. Yeah. I don't give a fuck. Cause comics suck. Yeah. But you guys stayed together on the money. Like we're all getting paid. As long as the majority do it and there's one leftover. Sometimes it's not good when you're the odd man out and everyone else is on the money, like we're all getting paid. As long as the majority do it and there's one leftover, sometimes it's not good when you're the odd man out and everyone else is on the same page. Yeah, you don't want to be that guy. Yeah, but yeah, no, we did well back then and then we took some years off. That's when I became like a comedy nerd. I was doing improv classes, making no money, but just kind of figure out what's next for

Vinny, you know what I mean? You're Vinny. I'm Vinny. I did a show called, I did a traveling food show with my mom which was really fun. I was still like selling TV shows but like nothing was as big as Jersey Shore. Right because yeah, exactly you can sell a TV show but you cut the taxes, the agent. Exactly and there's only one season, you know, one and done. I'm a big one and done guy. And then Jersey Shore just miraculously came back for a reunion season. And now, and that was like five years ago,

and now we're on our seventh season of the reunion show. And in the meantime, while doing that, I've been doing the Chippendales thing, the stripping thing. I've had three dating shows, like The Bachelor, like Flavor of Love. So I'm thankful that Jersey Shore is like the anchor for other shit. You learned how to parlay it into something else as it's going on. Honestly, you learn just to fucking take everything. While you're doing it. Instead of just saying, I'm going to do this and then go fucking sit.

You're like, I'm doing this and as soon as I'm done just saying, I'm going to do this and then go fucking sit. Yeah. Like, I'm doing this and as soon as I'm done with that, I'm going to go do something else. No, I just take it. Fuck. I just take the money unless it's like really something stupid as fuck. I'm not going to do it. You get paid more money because of who you are for being in Chipmendale? Are you the star?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. Those headline Chipmendale? Yeah, those guys get paid nothing and they work hard. They are hard and they work hard. Thank you. So yeah they get paid shit and then like I'm the fucking headliner that they give a lot of money to. And they hate you and they're mad at you?

No because like ultimately I'm selling out the show every single night so it's like giving them more exposure I'm sure they get raised it's a better show for them because it's a full room. You know what I mean? But do they try to like, you know, back in Boston when, no, no, no, we'll get to that. When they, back in Boston, when they would bring a headliner in like a famous president, they would, the motherfuckers in Boston will go up and just bury them. Oh, are they going on stage trying to fucking bury you? Well, Chippendales, they'd be hard to do that because they're dancing around gay construction workers. But in comedy sometimes they do.

A lot of times I see a lot, because I go up at a lot of younger, newer places. I'm in the, on purpose, I like to be in the minor leagues of comedy while I'm getting better. And a lot of those newer people, like every time I go up, they start making fun of me on stage. Like after I go up. That's a dick move.

It is, it is. I'm like, I don't know if it's like a nervous thing cause maybe they feel like the energy of the room shifted and now they have to get it back to themselves or something like that. Well, it's just a dick move because you're you're you're in their world and you know what it You know, it's a you know, it's a very unprofessional thing to do unless me and you are friends, of course Yeah, but I don't fucking know these you shouldn't trash another comic at all go up and do your shit get laughs on your own

Exactly, you know that that's a kind of fuck. Have you ever said anything to these fucking? No, I usually just walk out, I leave. Really? You know what it is, a lot of times there's like chatter when I leave, like oh my god you see that or blah blah blah, and then the comic wants to just do a lot of crowd work with the chatter, you know what I'm saying? And I don't know, I don't really take it personally or anything. Right, I do.

I want to find them and kill them. Let's fucking kill them. I want to name a street called Killed. Yeah, dude, I don't like that shit. But I understand it, I guess. But no, the Chippendales guys respect it. They love it. It was a fun show.

Because they're making more money with you, right? Yeah, I think they're making more. It's better for everybody. If the club, the club, if the theater, whatever the fuck you want to call it, is doing better, then everyone's doing better. Where is it, Chip? It's at the Rio, where the cellar is. Dude, you work at the Rio? Have you ever gone down to the cellar?

Never. Never. I've never, I've literally, the Rio was the most disgusting place. I fucking went to Chippendales and left. I didn't walk around or anything. They're redoing it. They're redoing it, right? They're redoing the whole thing. Thank God. Bro, the first time they put me up there, like, because the organization of Chippendales is amazing. They fucking like, when they were trying to recruit me into it, they booked me

at the penthouse of the Rio. It's like three floors. It was amazing in 1969. But now it smells like a wet pool. Yeah, yeah. Now it feels like I'm in an old Titanic museum or something like that. Yeah, exactly.

But that room was fucking, the dining room was crazy. The rooms there are insane. Dude, the rooms there are huge. Yeah. They're amazing back in the day. Did you do the cellar there? Yeah, I've done the cellar. Did they put you at the Rio?

Yeah. Or, okay. Yeah, I own a piece of that. Of the Rio? Of the cellar. Oh, nice, nice. I bought a little into it, just a little bit. Good, good, good.

With Nome and all the other people. I wish I was doing more comedy, because I definitely would have dropped in, you know what I mean? little into it, just a little bit. With Gnome and all the other people. I wish I was doing more comedy, because I definitely would have dropped in, you know what I mean? I love it, but I stayed there the first time. I got a smoking room, I'm a piece of shit. I was doing my smoke, and I remember I was just sitting in my room, smoking a cigar.

I was like, this is the saddest thing I've ever fucking done. Dude, Vegas can get sad. On that side, in that room with that smell? Yeah. And you're like, dude, I'm in the 60s or something. Yeah. And I'm smoking a cigar.

I remember putting it out. I was like, fuck it. What's Vegas comedy like, though? Because I know you have the headliners. You have all the other crowds good? Because it's tourists. Back in the day. Vegas crowds are fucking weird people.

It's changed. OK. When I did it it back in the day, you had to do the Rio or Harris or trop. And you had to do, dude, it was terrible. You had to do fucking, get that off the fucking thing. What are you doing? Why are you distracting us? I'm sorry.

I didn't even know there was a TV. So they, he's fucking, he's got. It was before, I was trying to pull it up before you got off the subject. Yeah, well you didn't know there was a TV so they um, he's fucking he's got it was before I was trying to pull it up Before you get off it. It's what she said. Just use your words be like I got this thing Remember the talk. I thought you remember the talk. Yes, you remember the talk. Yeah, we had a talk. Yeah Oh, I thought pulling it up was less distracting. No. Yeah, really in the middle of a conversation you pulling up some shit it up was less distracting. No. Yeah, really? In the middle of a conversation, you pulling up some shit? And you look at an awkward family fight right now.

I'm sorry. It really is. I got to work with these kids. I can be gentle. If you touch his ears, he'll fucking attack your eyes. We know you had to do Monday. Oh, you had to do Tuesday. They were black on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. 14 to 16 shows. And what are the clubs?

The Riviera, the comedy club. These are big rooms, right? Big Vegas kind of rooms? No, they were just comedy clubs. Oh, just comedy clubs. But you had to do 14 to 16 shows, sometimes two weeks. Holy shit. You had to do a run.

That's the only way they booked. Steve Sharippa used to book that. I heard. He booked that club. Thank God They evolved now to where you can do Like wise guys is out there now. They got two clubs off the strip. It's Towards old Vegas now. Okay. Okay. Okay. Jimmy's club is there

Kimmel's club they got the guy from everybody loves Raymond, right? Yeah, he's got a club that you can work. And then The Cellar, of course, now is like, they're like club clubs now, which is great. There's a couple people on the show. The Cellar runs it like here. So there's four or five people on the show. So you don't have to go and, you know,

do an hour or whatever you can. And on that side of the strip, it's good. So comedy in Vegas is booming right now. Skank Fest is there every year. And that, I mean, that's fucking insane. So comedy now has changed, I think, in Vegas. I mean, my show is just like a bunch of fucking young girls on their bachelorette parties.

Not a great comedy. What do you have to do? I don't know. OK, when I go to a strip club, right, I want to see some coach. I want to see a little nip-nip. I might get a little private dance. What does the Chippendale do? So Chippendales is like an actual fucking like off-Broadway show.

There's like dance routines, choreography. These guys aren't strippers. They're fucking like actors that you know this was the best that they- Is it like a Vegas burlesque type? Yeah, it's like that. You know what I mean? A male burlesque. And like you were saying with the male ones, in a male strip club, you know what it's like. Everyone's just chill, quiet, respectful. The women are fucking crazy.

Dirty horse. Yeah, I get molested every fucking night. Do they try to grab you junk? Every night. Yeah, can I do like a meet and greet where... A meet and greet. Yeah. What's up, son? You where... A meet and greet. Yeah.

What's up, son? You like that? Meet and greet. And they'll like, it's funny too, like the guy will, the security will be like, don't touch him, don't kiss him. And that like puts it in their weird brain to kiss me. So like they'll get up there and there's like... You just said it, I wanted to kiss you. Yeah, exactly. You kiss him and they wouldn't do it, you know? Well, yeah, they don't give

a fuck, like it you know well yeah they don't give a fuck like you know do they have do they have a proper they have like some fucking rich some rich millionaire woman comes in i want to take you back to my room i mean they i will give you three million dollars i think the guys probably like the seasoned guys there probably have gotten that you've never had somebody no i get like regular girls that are getting married. Oh, you get some fat chick from Ohio. Will you come back? Exactly. Well, sometimes they're hot though. Oh, really? And getting married and wanting to fuck.

I'll tell you what my favorite porn is. Married girl, married woman? No, it's the one, I forget what it was called. It was in England, but it was... Dancing Bear. Yes. Dude. It's the best. Dude. I was in England, but it was a beer. Yes Dude, it's the best dude. I was just talking about this on my podcast Oh, but what but what's the reason why I'll tell you the reason why because it's real. It's well Oh and because I'll tell you there is a real element. There's no there is a there is a real version Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. The one that they do now is fake

The original version of a Patrice O O'Neill told me about it. And it's, I think it was England or something. So you have these fucking, you know, different age girls, you know, none, kind, none of them really hot, regular chicks. Yeah. Cause that's how you know it's real when there's some fucking grandma. Exactly. So this is somebody's fucking English aunt and she's like, you know, and this guy has a towel and his women is whipped cream wing Wong. And then she goes like this, eh, fuck it. Eh. And she fucking, and just starts, you know what I mean? You're like, what the fuck,

that's not Benny sucking his dick. It's crazy. It is, because it's real. It's real. Okay, so from the fake one, there's still a real element. I was talking to fucking someone about this, but even though like they're all consenting that they're in a porno, from the fake one, there's still a real element. I was talking to fucking someone about this, but even though like they're all consenting that they're in a porno, I'm like, you just got paid

a hundred dollars to be an extra in a porno. I'd rather you just be sucking the dick, right? Cause then you're all in at that point. Yeah. But instead of you're like some fucking school teacher that was like, you know, for a hundred dollars extra, I'm gonna be the- I'm jerking off to the extras. I'm getting hard right now. Exactly! To the schoolteacher in the background watching the trickle. Let's go to Chip and- Exactly! Right?

Yeah! You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. There's a- No, cause once you're all in with the porn, Yeah. What the fuck's that music?

It's the street. We're in New York City. Oh, okay. They didn't put the- I can't. They didn't soundproof it? Well, it's just some fucking asshole with a sound system I like it. You're never gonna get away. Um, and he's parked out front right now picking somebody up Probably getting french fries. Yeah, go ahead and get the fries fucking asshole. If I had a bucket of water right now

I'd throw it in his car Um, I'll listen to the music. I'll tell you who it is It's a white dude. Yeah, it's definitely white dude. Who is that? What song is that? Yeah, yeah, definitely a white dude. What song is that? Yeah. I think he's leaving. That's definitely Big J. No, because yeah, if you're going to do the porn, you know what I mean? I'd rather you just be all...

Has that... Because look, dude, you're going from television, you're going from a superstar, dude. You guys were superstars. You guys were. You were on're going from a superstar, dude. You guys were superstars. You guys were. You were on everything.

Everybody knew who you were. My generation, dude. We all know who you were. We all said something about Snooki, you know what I mean? The situation, that whole thing. It was almost as big as New Kids in the Block was when we came up. And now you go from not being on and then you, did you start Chippendales in between? Yeah, I did that while I was on Jersey Shore.

We still do Jersey Shore. I know you still do Jersey Shore. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so like. And I'm saying in between the comeback in there is when you started Chippendales. No, no, no, no, no. Chippendales came back right when Jersey Shore came back. Jersey Shore came back and then it came back.

Then I did Chippendales. Oh. Then I became a stripper after I was successful It wasn't a no Fucking good money. It's good. What's good money because I'm thinking of I mean, what the fuck are you laughing? What do you laugh? What's everybody laughing at? Don't they have a chubby Chippendale? It was good. I'll tell you I'll tell you after this. I want you tell me after oh 100% I'll tell you I'll tell you after this. I tell me after oh 100% I'll tell you I'll tell you

I get it's gonna be like a dude One thing do you have to scrape up dollars and stuff? No, no, it's like a real. It's like a real theater There's like they buy tickets there dollars. No dollars. No big it's illegal to show dick. They don't show dick there Oh good, you wear a cock sock. What's oh really? Yeah. Yeah, you put your dick in your balls in a little That's my problem would run into I have to get like a mushroom holder. Oh, okay. Okay. I thought you're gonna go the other way. So I got any garbage. No, I don't know. No, no, no, no. I don't know. I have a nice piece. Mm-hmm I just don't have one that hangs all the time anymore because I'm too old. Yeah, you know what I mean? No, I'm a grower not a shower. So me too. My shit fit really well in the cock sock. It does

Yeah, there you are right there, right? No, that's yeah, that's me. That's me. Where in shit fit really well in the cock sock. It does. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There you are right there, right? No, that's not. Yeah. That's me. That's me. Where in the front? I'm the first. I'm the guy right there. Yeah. Jesus Christ. We could get really gay and pull up the shower scene. I take a shower on the stage. What the fuck? Yeah. I know it's funny. It's like, they just wanted me to go in there and like host it. And then I was like, no, I'm a fucking slut. I'm fucking put me in the shower. I want to give the ladies what they wanted. You know what I mean? There's only a few people that can fulfill this role of Chippendales. Right? You have to be single. Yeah. You have to be young. Yeah. You have to be zealous. You know what I mean? A little

bit, a little thirsty. You know what I'm saying? But you also have to be famous enough to sell tickets. I was like the perfect guy for this. Right. You know what I'm saying? So, but no, I did it, dude. I mean, did you have to go to lessons and dance lessons? No, they're, they're, they're. All right. This is you right here. I got to, I got to listen. Don't get hard, Bobby. That'd be funny if I just, you turned around. I was jerking. Yeah. I had a towel. This is your second favorite porn right here. I had whipped cream on my deck. Yeah. All right. Here you go. Let's check this out. There's my ass. I'm gonna give you oh, so you're naked You could show as there's a minute. There's a cock sock on wait a minute. That's what I asked

Yeah, but it's artsy purple rain is playing the purple light. You know what I mean? I can't hear it over the fucking I've never really watch this with a bunch of guys before Especially three. Oh my god. Yeah, I turn never watched this with a bunch of guys before. Yeah, especially three, oh my God. Yeah, I turn around. Dude, are you kidding? You're taking a shower right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're covering your stomach here.

Yeah. And you gotta, dude, you gotta shave your butt nev, right? I got it waxed the first. You got to. But then I'm never doing it again. Oh, you're jizzing on your back. Yeah, yeah. You're jizzing on your back.

Oh, now you're covering your stomach. You're jizzing on your back. You're jizzing on your back. Oh, now you're coming. You're jizzing on your front. Oh, this is nuts, dude. This is fucking the best thing ever. I want to go. What are you doing it again? Oh my God, look at these girls. What are they doing?

Oh, so now I do this thing called reverse strip. Instead of me stripping, the girl puts my clothes on. The girl does. Yeah. Now is this a special girl? She pay more money to do this? No, they just pick her out from the audience. Oh my god. Did you show her your junk? It looks like it, but it was covered. Okay, so she didn't see your stuff. Yeah, yeah. So we have this like special kind of moment where... This is almost like the porn we watch. Yeah, yeah, almost. It's very close. It's very dancing very dancing oh you can see her stuff wait a minute go back go back go back wow i looked good she doesn't have underwear on dude you look fucking great i don't wait she doesn't have underwear i mean she probably has no no oh she does yeah okay

i mean dude so she's i mean this is somebody getting married uh what is this sash say is that bachelor probably is okay i want you to pause this right now. Yeah I want you to go back a little bit. It gets crazier than this I mean, yeah, I start to like really I don't go as hard as the other guys do My wife would come home her shit would be i'd shit on it and light it on fire. Yeah No, they're crazy and i'd be fucking three hookers. Yeah in the window Yeah, all right. Let me see this Does now this is videotape. This is on the internet. Yeah. Yeah, so her husband knows about this. Yeah. All right. Let me see this. Now this is videotaped. This is on the internet.

Yeah. Yeah. So her husband knows about this. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Go ahead. You know, I'm, I'm guessing I'm the hall pass or something like that. I don't even remember this one. I've done this. I've done this routine like a thousand times. What's that tattoo say? Like, go like God. Hang on. Stop, stop, stop. And I'm not, I'm not like a drug addict or anything. You have a fucking, you have a prayer. I do the serenity prayer. I have it too. Okay.

Okay. But mine says like, Oh my God. Yours is the short version. Yeah. But you're saying the fuck boy across the chest. Yeah. Yours is mine's like no regrets. You're telling

these Bachelorette whores what to do let go like and then you look down at your cock like all right guys let me play this again dude you're kicking ass dude I mean you know and I'm crushing what I have some confidence why do I do comedy I should just nah nah nah nah hang on now I mean do what she's gonna put this on you yeah she puts on the boxers. You're a brief guy. I thought you'd be like a Tidy Whitey type dude. No, no, those true classics? Sponsor of the show. True classics.

The best t-shirt. It's an underwear out there, by the way. There you go. Got an ass. Oh, wait a minute. Throw my ass a little bit. Now, did she see you making a sock? No, no, no, no.

It's the sock. She saw the sock. So she's in on the trick. It's like a magic trick. It's like a magic trick. She's on the magic trick. I'm a magician. Has your sock ever flopped off? No.

You sure? I'm sure. You gotta say it. I feel like you're saying it because you have to. I'm sure. I was just talking about this with Matteo Lane. He came on my podcast because he came to the show. He loved it. Of course he did. Yeah. How great. He'd be great at this too, wouldn't he?

Well, I don't know. Well, he... He has to touch women. Another version. I mean, he threw up the whole time. Look, look, look. Can we do a thing here? What's that? I danced to her a little bit. Okay. And now does this get... Oh Oh god Vinvin. Yeah, that's assault

Yeah, that's a song. Let's cut that part out. That's assault. No, they want it. I love it there. Yeah, I've said that too Brother this is incredible. It's so funny to me that women, I want a man who and who and who respects me and I want you and then you put him in front of this and they all turn. I want to fucking get bent over by Vinny. I want Vinny to get a silk pajamas and bend me. Dude I've had those same girls like some married ones that night, sending me Instagram videos of them masturbating like crazy shit. Give me a favor.

I want to set my wife up. I want to see. Want her tickets or? No, I want to see. I want to call my wife right now. You mind? It's okay. I'm going to call my wife.

I'm going to call my wife. I called Danny by accident. I'm going to call my wife. Hang on. I'm going to show her real quick. You're going wife. I called Dandy by accident. I'm gonna call my wife. Hang on. I'm gonna real quick. You're gonna ask her. Oh, you're gonna show her. I'm gonna do it right here. She won't answer because she... Do I take my clothes off? No, no, no, no. Don't do that. I don't want to fucking really see her. Of course, why would she answer the phone? Why? I don't know. I'm not married. Why would she answer the phone, Vin? I don't know I'm not married why would she not married then I don't know stay not married why would she answer the phone then she's at Chippendales how funny if she was just banging some chip yeah stay don't get

married oh I hate her I fucking god damn it this mother I swear to god she picks up the phone. I'm gonna fucking. Show her who's boss. I'm gonna fucking show, oh, I'm gonna fucking show her who's boss, I say, hi honey. Hi, how are you? Dawn, remember Jersey Shore?

I remember Jersey Shore, yeah. Hi Dawn, I'm Vinny. Hi Vinny, how are you? Okay, look at her tone change. I'm good, I'm good. Little awkward right now. We just watched me take a shower. If you want to explain some, give us some context. He's a Chippendale, he does Chippendale, and he took a shower with a bride. Yeah, now let me, would you go to the, would you go to a Chip and Dale show? In 1980s, I probably would have.

How old are you? I don't know. How old, are you lying about your age? Who did, how did I? Do you think he's cute, Don? Why would you say that? Trick question. You like me, right? Yeah. You love me? Aw. You wouldn't go to, you wouldn't go and watch a guy shower on stage and let him dance for you, right? This is sweet.

I don't want to watch him dance with a penis. Well, I don't think you have to sum it up like that. He's actually, I'm sorry, buddy. I apologize. It's okay. Don't call him a dancing penis. Well, she wasn't calling me. She was saying there are going to be dancing penises there.

Like doing the helicopter, you know? The helicopter, my god. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry buddy, I apologize. Don't call him a dancing penis. Well, she wasn't calling me, she was saying there are gonna be dancing penises there.

Like doing the helicopter, you know? My son is right next door. Listen, with the helicopter, right? Alright honey, I love you, that was just a test, alright? Alright? I'll do a little dance for you. Tonight we'll get in the shower, he's gonna teach me a couple moves. You got the routine right here.

Alright, I'm gonna do a couple moves, and there's this thing where I get behind you and then I push you down. Oh, sorry Max. Don't give me the finger, Max. Maximus, put your fingers down. I love you, say hi to Vinny, Max. What's up, Max? Don't be like me.

He's giving me the finger too. Bobby I love you so much. Mom I'll see you later. All right? All right goodbye. Oh that's hilarious. Yeah. Most girls go there for like the... it is like a comedy show you know what I mean? You know what it is dude. I don't think they really want to fuck the strippers. I don't think. Unless you're like 80 years old. They want to they want to go and be dirty for a last time. They want to go. They want to go have You know what I mean? You know what it is, dude. I don't think they really wanna fuck the strippers. I don't think they do. Unless you're like 80 years old. They wanna go and be dirty for the last time. They wanna go. They wanna go have a little,

and they get to see, dude, first of all, these girls all know you, they grew up on you. Yeah, it's a different experience. And all of a sudden you're on stage and you still got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? It's not like you're up there, David Hasselhoff with a belly sticking out.

Right, with the surgeries and all that stuff. Yeah, yeah. Did you have a bachelor party? No, I lobed. Okay, okay. I lobed. That's the thing, like, I don't really, for the man or the woman, I don't get the whole bachelor party thing. Especially after seeing it with my own eyes. Like, if you want to

have like a, like, this sounds corny, but if you want to have like a boys fishing trip or something like that. But why are we going there? I know the male answer is supposed to be like, it's our last hurrah, I'm never gonna be able to do this again, but it's just like, why are we now teasing ourselves and all being whores because we're about to be married?

You know what I'm saying? We just get stuck in these traditions. Yeah, but I'm saying, it's like a weird tradition. Even their wedding is, we get married, we ask your father, we have a big thing, we invite all these people, we get the thing. That's all bullshit. You don't even go to church.

Yeah. I just think that I'm going to be done with that chapter of my life when I'm getting married. I'm not going to want to be around strippers and shit like that. I do that shit when I'm single. I never, I never, I used to like going to strip clubs with Patrice because he would hackle them. What would he say? He would trash me.

Oh man, is that a C-section? Yeah. We get so mad. Yeah. And then he threw he threw a dollar at that tit. He wrinkled up. He wouldn't. He wouldn't. He wrinkled it and throw it at him. Right. He goes, there you go. Yeah. Goofy bitch.

And shit like that. It used to make me laugh. He was so inappropriate. But I've also I've've dated a couple strippers, really cool chicks. I've dated a couple really nice strippers. I dated one girl, dude. I mean, the hottest chick I've ever been with in my life.

Stripper? I went to the strip club. So check this out. Want to hear the story? I go to the strip club. Cabaret. It's like the rock and roll strip club. They had the other one with the rap and the disco.

The one on Route 1 in Sargasso was the Motley Crue, girls, girls. So we go there. This girl comes out, fucking dancing, bitty titties. All of a sudden the place goes quiet and this classical music starts playing. Both fucking players to the room. This blonde comes out. She's not regular titties, little sag to him, but nice. This insane body, abs, beautiful ass, all natural. But a little older, you know, like maybe 30, 28,

not 21, 25. She comes out and does this classical fucking routine. And does this stuff and she and she's you know splitting and I mean does a dance. Yeah, not a peep She finishes in some weird pose dead silent. Mm-hmm place goes Just like artsy shots thrown. I mean dude, I've never seen so yeah money everywhere Yeah, just throwing the money everywhere. Yeah.

Shots thrown, the money up. We're all like, oh my God. So then she grabs all she could. Then the other girl comes up where you start taking her dollars back. So then, cut two months later, I'm in my acting class. She walks in?

Guess who's in it. Oh shit. And my teacher give us a scene together. Brother, I mean, I felt deep. Yeah, dude. I felt deep. I mean I would have but she was out of my league I remember we went through a house and she was a rehearsal. She was a stripper, but I knew she was I I told her I go I saw you at the yeah, I mean she goes oh my god, you know, whatever So went back to her house Calm have fucking sick apartment downtown Boston.

I'm living in the ghetto. I live in a fucking Korean ghetto. She actually has money. Yeah, she had money doing comedy and shit. Trying to be an actor. She has money. And I'm standing in front of a Friday place. And there's a photo of just a dude, 17 pack fucking veins, underwear.

I'm like, who is this? Marky Marks? She goes, no, that's my ex. Oh, shit. I was like, this ain't going to work. I got a belly button. I got a big, inny belly button. I got a, you know. Yeah, but strippers like that, though.

Yeah, dude. Then we fucked on my bed. And I had a really fucked. I got the mattress from a friend, and it didn't go with the box spring, so the movement was off. So you'd pump that way, and it would bounce you back. And I remember I came too quick, I was like, dang!

It was too much. It's funny now with the OnlyFans thing, it's like I would almost rather a stripper. Like I have respect for the real strippers now. To actually go and dance and. Do it in person and also no one really knows that they're strippers. So you don't want to watch some female comic cook eggs with her ass up?

Make $7,000,000? Karen Fian. Karen Fian should always be naked. Yeah. Yeah. And she's funny. No, but you know what I mean? Like, they, nowadays, like, everyone can see you being a stripper and shit like that.

You know what I mean? So I don't know if I want that direct access, at least if a girl's doing it in the shadows. Yeah. It's like a little less. Two times in my life I went to a strip club and the girl I knew and I had to leave. Oh, like in real life you knew her? Took my friend, my friend Joe Iannetti

on his bachelor party to Rhode Island because the strip clubs are better on Rhode Island because for some reason, you know, you could touch them and blah, blah, blah. And they get fully naked. And the chick came out, looked through her legs. Bobby, I was like, fuck, she's like, I can't you got to go. Yeah, I had to go. I had to leave.

And then another time. It's weird. It's not I don't like that. Well, I knew her from. I knew her from this other thing we did. I knew her for we actually spoke in front of Congress. Wow. For like juvenile delinquents. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like we knew I knew her from, we actually spoke in front of Congress. Wow. For like juvenile delinquents. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like we knew, I knew her from this.

Real life. This real life. Smart, smart. Smart thing and all of a sudden I'm looking at her asshole in blue lights, you know what I mean? The best strip club is in Niagara Falls, Canada. What is it? It's called the Sundowner.

It is, you never been? So you know like Niagara Falls on the Vegas side. On the Buffalo side? No, on the, I'm sorry, Vegas side, the Canadian side. Canadian side, yeah. It's like they're Vegas. Yeah, okay. It's like there's Casinos, there's like, you know what I mean?

And it's like right in the middle and all the strippers from Montreal and Toronto and all them come and they're hot, they're beautiful and they're smart because they all are educated over there. So it's like you're getting like your mental stimulated like they're not just like zombies, you know what I mean? I fall in love every fucking time I go there. See me and you are different. I like the one with the goofy tooth.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? I want from here down smoking, from here up to look like David Letterman. I understand. You know what I mean? I want from here down smoking from here up to look like David Letterman Mm-hmm. I understand you know I mean understand, but I have a better face that same personality Yeah, but David Letterman's personality. Yeah, a little funky you know Did you uh so you do this this whole thing now? So you're doing you're doing the show you're doing this did they have a problem what you're doing this

you're doing the show, you're doing this, did they have a problem with you doing this? They didn't have a problem, but it's funny you say that because it was one of those, so when they first offered me the Chip and Dale's thing, I laughed at it, like everybody laughs at it, you know what I mean? Like you just think of the bow tie and the fucking, exactly that, and I was like, no way. And then they made an offer and I was like,

this is a pretty good amount of money for when I'm not doing Jersey Shore. Cause we don't do Jersey Shore all year round. But you also know from before when Jersey Shore went and ended, if it does end, you- Exactly, exactly. So I was like, that's nothing to scoff at. Also like I've always, I love entertaining.

I've always wanted to like be the, an act in Vegas. Right. You know what I'm saying? I'm not a DJ. Yeah. Paulie. Not Paulie, exactly. You saw him one night,? I'm not a DJ. Not a... Paulie. Not Paulie, exactly. You saw him one night. You want to talk about chicks going nuts. Yes, yes. He works every single night. Dirty deep

this kid came in with the best hair I've ever seen in my life. Very good hair. And fucking smile for nine days. Yep. And he could do it every single night, like back to back. Like he's not fucking human. No. It's crazy. What I saw I actually don't even I couldn't even do that life. Like he can only sleep on an airplane.

Like he does. He's not home any other time because because he's DJing every single night. You know what I mean? Paulie is like one in a billion. Like he deserves everything that he he works for. You know what I mean? So glad he didn't go bald. No, he didn't go bald. He has a beard now too. It would have made me sick to my stomach. Yeah, imagine. If he showed up and he looked like me, I would have been like, God, no. Yeah, he would change the whole fucking thing.

He still looks great. So you go and you get this money, but it's enough money to... To like, you know, make me go, hmm. And then they pile it, they attach to it like that. They're gonna give you a penthouse. Okay. That you're gonna, you a penthouse okay that you're gonna you know they'll pay for everything so now you're just like being offered to be like the king of

vegas yeah having a residency at like the easiest job in the world all you have to do is fucking be in shape and rip your shirt off how many nights a week uh it was uh friday saturday sunday two shows friday two shows saturday one show sunday Five shows, it's like a regular comedy gig. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. How long is the gig? How long are you on stage? Five weeks, oh, like an hour, an hour and change. So you're on stage for an hour.

I pop in and out, like during my numbers. So like, they do all the heavy lifting, like all the guys, you know what I mean? And then I, no pun intended, and then I jump in to where my little, I'm not in the whole show. Right, so that's great. Because I have a real fucking other life and job, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

So I'm just like, I go in there just and I'll do one day of rehearsal. I pop in and it was a great little niche thing. Oh, so at first like people were kind of like scoffing at it. And then I was like, I kind of just rocked with it. I didn't let anybody like kind of shake me. Yeah. And now it's like becomes like a part of the show, like they're, but I'm always into something new. Like they know me. But I'm always into something new. They know me. They're always watching me do this. Now they just watch me do comedy this season.

Oh, did they? It's about to air. Where was it? Where'd you do it? So I did it at a Broadway comedy club. No, but hear me out. Hear me out. We were going to do it at The Cellar because I just took a class there. Yeah, where would you take a class? Rick Rowe? Rick, yeah. Love Rick. Love Rick. He's like Rick really because I didn't know like if I those classes could either be like I never want to fucking do comedy again or like I like this. Rick like made me like it because... He took the class. I know we talked before you got here we talked about it. Yeah. So Rick's class

I did that, did the graduation show, felt great. I've been on stage every single night since then. That was like a month and a half ago. So when we were gonna do the show on Jersey Shore, like they have cameras, it's like this whole fucking thing. They couldn't just pop into like the main room at the cellar. I needed like, you know what I mean?

So we had like a manual and the cellar was gonna do it, but they were gonna do it early in the daytime. And that didn't work out for Jersey Shore. So I'm like, what place do I have a relationship with? Cause I really do like the people at Broadway and stuff. Yeah, no, they're a great farm team for the next gen. 100%. I joke around when I say that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I like that. I like that it's grungy. Yeah, no, it's a great- I just did, granted I'm going right after this. I use it to grungy. Yeah, no, it's a great, I- I just did, Gregg, and I'm going right after this. I use it to like, work out. Dude, Creek in the Cave was the fucking, for List, Soda, Norman, you know what I mean?

Over there, it was a fucking great place. I'm in a weird spot, because people expect me at the big places, but I'm technically an open mic'er still. So, you know, I'm like, working my way up. I definitely don't want to be at the, when I can, when I'm ready for those stages, it does feel good to like go to like a big stage,

feel the love of the crowd, of the room, you know? That's why I do the stand too, because the stand's like, it's like my people, you know what I mean? Sometimes they're fucking mean to me at Greenwich, because no one knows who I am, but I kind of like that. It's given me thick skin. No, that's good. You should bomb.

You should have people laughing at you for what you're saying, not for who you are. Exactly. You know, the problem with, you know, if you go and, all right, I'm going to go and tour because I'm Vinny and you sell the place out with a bunch of those broads that want to see your cock. You're never going to grow as a comic. You're going to go up there and you're going to be like, dude, I'm great. And then when you're on a real show and all of a sudden you got up after boom, boom, boom, and they're like, hey, what's going on? And they're like, you know, you don't want to have that.

Some kid recently said to me, he was like, oh, you're going up at Greenwich or whatever. He's like, you're better than that. I'm like, no, I'm not. I'm like, no, I am not. I'm fucking just starting out. You know what I mean? When I feel like I'm ready for the other thing.

And another thing I'll say is too, is like, young girls like my audience, they're not the best fucking comedy crowd. No, they're the worst. I thought that I would, I went from wanting to do wanting young girls, not young, I wanted like, you know, like hot chicks. Say young girls. Hot chicks. Say it to the microphone. Hot chicks. On an island, on an island. Young girls, private jet. Bill Bill Clinton OJ Simpson keep saying it exactly no no gate truth thoughts my intrusive thoughts no like when I do comedy I want people that look like you what's my rule I want bald Bobby has a

rule no hot people in the front row. Me or ugly. They suck. Because here's. No, you're perfect. They're not too ugly. Me or uglier. No, not like you just you. Oh yeah. You or uglier.

I thought you were saying, do you want? Yeah, I get what you're saying. You're hurting my feelings. You're the bar. You're the bar. No, you're ugly enough. You're the 10. You're the 10.

What I'm saying, here's the thing. Here's what happens with girls. And I'm going to say this and I look, I have a lot of women fans and I love you to death and I'm not saying All women but what happens with girls? Especially girls, you know, look they have egos too. Yeah, and they think they're you know, they mean they don't understand that you can't talk Comedies theater. Yes, if I talk to you that's oh, it's between us I don't need you commenting on what I said to him because you have to defend, because you're, I had this this weekend, Max, right? Yeah.

Chicken the front row, really smoking hot, brunette, tattoos, my style, right? Little fucking dirty. And a friend, blonde girl, right? Same thing but blonde. And I said something to this guy over here and then she had to go, oh, you, I go, you don't need to fucking, we're having fun. Right. He laughed. You need to defend them. And then she was like, you

know, this is what they do. Fuck you. And then you're like, Oh God, you're fighting. Well, it's a typical, you can't even take a hit. It goes, it goes from you fucking with me to me getting you and you can't now it's like, fuck you. And then it's, and then she kept talking to a friend They they could be you know they think that I'm not talking. No you are no. I'm just saying yeah, you're saying shit So while I'm up there I see this so you're in my fucking up my jokes dude cuz I'm getting angry I finally kicked her out, and I felt terrible. I felt bad. Yeah, I don't want to have to say to somebody Hey, will you shut the fuck up?

Right. I want you as a comedy fan, but the problem is bro. They're not comedy fans, right? They're fans of television They're fans of they might so it's almost unless like some girly pop Comic is up there. That's like it's giving you know what I mean? Like doing like shit like that You mean the sing song II? Yeah, like sing songy. You know, you ever see guys? Proud work, exactly. You ever see guys? And they all think they have a big dick and they don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've seen a big dick. That girl murders in those rooms. And I'm like, how the fuck am I going to follow that? Like I'm over here talking about my little dick. You can go up and go like this. You ever see a fat, big vagina? Yeah, that would probably do really well. Yeah, it's all learning experience.

It's a weird thing, but you'll, the thing, you know, it depends on what you're talking about too, dude. Yeah, yeah. If you start, if you start being real, those people fade away. Like the non-comedy fans will fade away. When you start talking about real shit and being vulnerable on stage, your fans who are comedy fans will stick. And the people that are like, oh my God, he was talking about some stuff. You mean in the room or just afterwards? In both. As you build your career doing stand up, your fans of what you're doing on there

will be different than your fans who watch the show. I have different fans. I don't have, you know, when I did a TV show, Sex Drugs, I had fans from that show that didn't even know I did stand up. And if they went and saw my act, they would fucking hate me. You know what I mean? That's what's happening to me now, I have a podcast and I've always wanted to do a podcast

or whatever, but if I say the word tits or something like that, everyone fucking freaks out. And then someone told me, they're like, they have to get used to you just being a comic. Just talking, like you make analogies, you say crazy. We said 17 shit things on this podcast. Because my career is finished. I want you to listen.

You're just finishing me now Listen, no, no, no, you've been you've been very good. Listen. Yeah, I will give you this advice Yeah, you I wish when I started podcasting I knew that people were gonna listen When we started doing podcasting with you know me and Lewis and DeRosa and we were just doing radio with each other because we liked busting balls, and we just said whatever we wanted. We didn't know that it was gonna be this thing

where people are like, what did you say? So I think that if you can, remember what you're doing as a business dude. So you're selling something. You don't want to be, you don't want to say this, that, and that to please a small group of people. You know, you can go on stand up and do your stand up and talk about whatever the fuck you want, but you can talk about it in a way that everybody can hear.

You don't have to be fucking edgy Vinny. You know what I mean? No, I know, for sure. I'm learning that too like the universal shit like it's so much better than Some like raunchy shit that only works for like money. I would have made if I wasn't such a piece of shit Yeah, like if I if I you know, dude, look I just came from that cause on Opie and Anthony I mean dude the first day on Opie Anthony they had a did a wiffle ball bat in a girl's vagina Yeah, I was like what the fuck I was next. Oh a girl's vagina. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, what the fuck?

That was next level. We're seeing how far, you know, it's like, I don't, you know, if I go back in time, I would have walked out. Right. And went home and called my mother. Right, right. And I was like, oh, this is fucking me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was, Stern was sitting, putting people on, you know, Simian, it was a different, but that shit's still out there. That's what someone commented to me once, cause like, I think we said the word boobs or something on my podcast. And some lady, some like Karen was like, I feel like I'm watching Howard Stern. I'm like, Howard Stern used to film porn

in the fucking studio. You can tell that dude. Beat it. Sorry, beep that. No, I did. I told her that. No, but the best also like, you know, when you see in 2024, when you see a fucking comic,

rip on every fucking political group, every sexual orientation, just roast them all and like you can't figure him out because he's just so all over the place. Like that's the fucking best. Well, the thing about comics that we get to talk about anything. Yeah. But it's a harder thing too though, like, anything. Yeah. But it's a harder thing too though like comics, none of us give a fuck about TV or network. Yeah. It's like not a thing. We don't give a fuck. Back in the day there was this time Seinfeld, Romano, you know what I mean? You had to kind of give a shit about, right? Is that weird? Like you're like, do I stay on my trajectory of being like a degenerate or do I change it because I have this other thing that might happen? Like the main goal,

you know? Well, you know, look at Tim Dillon. Made the right choice. Joe Rogan. Oh yeah. They stayed in our true self. They stayed in their true self. I'm going to go do this. I'm going to, I'm a comic live or die, but there are some people that I know that have to live in between both worlds. And if you're going to go on stage and you know, I mean, you can do it. Bob Saget did it. Yeah. Yeah. He was a piece of shit on stage. Right. Right. He was garbage on stage. I mean, I'm not even worried about being a piece of shit. It's literally like you could just say, we could say the word bitch nowadays.

And that's like already like something controversial or saying like, you know, abortion or something like that, or trying to like make a good joke that, you know, says something, but it's not really saying that about, you know what I mean? Like I'm talking about like love on the spectrum in one of my things, you know what I mean? In a kind of smart way that praises them. But I'm still like scared of it because I'm like on a network thing, you know what I mean? Yeah, because if somebody who doesn't like you can use that and sabotage you with it. Exactly. And that's the day we live in. They took, how many people they take out with just stupid shit. I think it's kind of going the other way

You know what I mean? But you're you're you know, people know you as this guy Yeah, on that show and we think about what Matt right? Do you see the Matt rife controversy shit? What that he's a gorgeous gazillionaire? Everywhere and has juicy lips and I guess because of that some what that controversy what what just happened Well, like you said, like someone wants to sabotage you, so they take the- He doesn't care, though. Yeah, I don't think it was even that-

He doesn't care because he's doing stand-up. Right. He doesn't care. Fucking movies, TV. I'm a stand-up. Love him or hate him, whatever the fuck, fuck him. Fuck everybody. He's doing, this is what I do.

So you can go fuck yourself. So that's the greatest thing that we have as standups. Is we can be like, hey man, you can leave. And I don't, you know what? I'm, I still got my. You're doing your job. They can't take the networks or the Netflix or the street. They can't take, it or the Netflix or the street.

They can't take, it kills them. We don't even need them for specials anymore. I did my special with Louis CK. He was canceled and it did great. So as a stand, that's like people used to say, are you worried about all this censorship and what you can say? I was like, oh, that's for actors.

That's not for stand ups. We have to say fucking stupid shit and uncomfortable stuff. But for you, you got to figure, you got to make sure, dude, because you don't want to pull a fucking, what's his name from sign film? Yep, yep, yep. I was joking. You know?

I'm nowhere near that, but like, you know, even on the podcast, it's the same thing. Anything you do outside of that, which is crazy because Jersey Shore is not exactly politically correct TV. We were famous because of how fucking real and crazy we were back then. Yeah, it was a bunch of Italians doing what Italian people do, looking good, smelling good and fucking trying to rock some butt. Fucking each other. Yeah. And fighting too. Yeah. And fighting. Yeah. Yeah. It's I love it. I love it. It was just weird. It's like on a certain network in a certain aesthetic.

Yeah. It's almost because I say the same shit on Jersey Shore that I do on stage or my podcast talk about eating ass or like shit like that. You know what I mean? But it's like if they see like Snooki laughing in the corner or something like that, it's like they almost think it's not real. Really? They almost think it's like a scripted show or something like that. You're talking about eating ass on the show? Yeah, yeah. They bleep it out. What was it? How does that come up? Oh, I said I like seasoned ass. I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. I like seasoned ass. Like I don't want my ass like fresh out of the shower Smelling like like dove soap or tasting like dove soap you wanted to taste I want to be lightly seasoned like like not like not like she ran a marathon

Well, it depends on who but you want you want no shit. No shit. You want a slight hint of penny Penny like the copper change Yeah, slight hint of penny. I. Slight hint of penny, exactly. You want a slight hint of penny? Does it vaginas taste like penny? Maybe a little mustard. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A little sriracha.

You want this? Yes, yeah. I want to taste her. Yeah. I don't want to taste, you know, Johnson and Johnson. You know what I mean? Yeah. So that was the conversation.

Like seasoned asshole. Right. And what were they against that? Oh, well, they are, but like, so I'm the conversation like seasoned asshole right and then what were they against that? Oh, well, they are but like I'm so I'm the I'm the comic of the group Okay, so I'm the one that says all this crazy shit, right? They all act holier than thou but meanwhile like as soon as like they're off the camera. They're all like shaking my hand They're all laughing at me and shit. Yeah, you know I say crazy shit cuz I'm the single one They're all married now and the situation. Yeah, he's married three kids three kids, but I'm so glad he turns his life around yeah when we met him on the show

He seemed like you know what I mean like you mean now. Yep. Yeah. Yeah, like a fucking evangelist He's he's yeah, but I'm sad you know because he was going down a dark path man I'm watching Mike literally was had the drug thing But he also at the same time of trying to recover was facing like 20 years in prison and had the federal government and lost all his money and was homeless. The trite, homeless, drug problem,

and about to go to jail and still managed to make it out of that. You know what I mean? He had a bottom. He had a- Oh, pause. Oh, he had a bottom. what I mean? He hit a bottom. Oh, pause, oh he hit a bottom. I thought you said he had a bottom. I was like in jail. It was like in jail.

Fantastic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he hit a bottom for sure. He hit a bottom, but when he was on the bonfire, I was like, all right man, because I've been sober for 37 years, I can kind of see it, you know what I mean? When somebody is like, when it has that genuine, you know, I'm doing it. I can kind of see it. You know what I mean? When somebody is like, has that genuine,

you know, I'm doing it. I feel a fucking weirdo, but it's, it's, it's, it's in other things. When he stared at me, he didn't blink for three minutes. He had his sunglasses on probably. Yeah. All right. Um, so now these girls on the show, now you, are you guys hooking? Now everybody's married. Yeah. Yeah. No more. You got nothing. I got nothing. No, everybody's married. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No more. So you got nothing. I got nothing. No, no. Why? I know.

Why? Well, they gave me a couple of spinoff shows where I was, again, dating women. Okay. You know, it'd be me and like 20 women. It sounds better than it is. But as far as Jersey Shore, no, I have nothing. And now it's like I can't even bring a girl that I'm dating on the show. Why? Because like being with someone on the show now is so significant.

They're like literally significant others that it would be like an interrogation of my future wife. Right. And meanwhile, like I can't date a girl for more than two weeks. Why, dude? What's going on? Oh, I mean, OK, this is the first time you bisexual. No, no, no, no, no. I'm try sexual. Look at me. Try anything I'm telling you right now if you come out on Oprah, I'll be fucking pissed Well, I know I should I'm talking to Yanis about he's like they would do ten more seasons of Jersey Shore

If I fucking came out, yeah, I'll be fucking ten more seasons. No, no, no, I would tell you would host Oh, yeah this season. He'd be my girlfriend. Oh my god Me and Mattel used to host a show. We used to do like an after show for like the gay Jersey Shore. Oh really? It was called Fire Island. It was like literally that. Why don't they do the gay Jersey Shore?

They did. It was called Fire Island. Was it a real show? No. It wasn't called gay Jersey Shore, but it was called Fire Island. That's what we call it. Yeah. Yeah, it was Fire.

It was a stupid show, but yeah, I don't know. People didn't like it. yeah, I don't know. People didn't like it. How come you don't have a girl, bro? So no, this is the first time in my life where I'm like dating with intention. With intended to what? Eat her ass? What do you-

Eat her penny ass, you know? What do you- No, no. Where is she from? Where's who from? Where is she from? New York? Well, that's the thing. She's across the country.

No, no, no, no. So when I was doing Chippendale. You're dating an Iranian girl. You hate America. What? When I was doing all the shows and shit, there was no way I could settle down with one girl. I'm in Vegas for six weeks hosting Chippendales.

All the distraction around me, come back to New York. I've lived in four places. I lived in LA for a year. You live in New York now? Yeah, I live here. All the distraction around me. Come back to New York. I've lived in like four places. I lived in LA for a year. You live in New York now? Yeah, I live here. I live in Soho. You do? Very fancy. Yeah. You get a nice place. I do. Nice. Yeah. We're gonna go fuck and watch UFC fights? Let's go. Nick's in the playoffs. Let's do it. Okay. Front row seats? In my house are we talking about? Or are we talking about the game? We'll do the house. Okay, okay. We'll do the house. do the guys. I'll bring out the shower Yes, I smoke cigars bring out the shower

That'd be so hilarious if you just came out. Yeah, this is what you wanted Bobby. I would I would just I'd be like, hey Yeah, practice my material Do you help me write jokes and I'll fucking help you yeah, exactly. Thank God No, so so I was I was just you know, I wasn't ready for that. Like I was still wanting to, I've had a couple of situation shifts, but in the back of my head, I knew I'm like, when I go to Vegas, I, I'm going to want to bang a bunch of girls there. I don't want to, you know what I mean? Yeah.

And then for the first time in my life, I'm 36 now, I kind of the, the, the pros of being single are not outweighing the, you know what I'm 36 now. I kind of the the the pros of being single are not outweighing Yeah, the you know what I'm saying the cons like I want to I don't want to go out every night I don't want to bang. I don't want different girls back at my house. So now I'm like actually craving companionship Well, you're also doing stand-up now. Yes, which you're in love when we I really it's not about I said I'm not a slave to fucking pussy anymore. Yeah, there's you found like I I think like even these guys Well, I remember these guys don't get laid. No, they don't get fucking laid by each other No, but this there and we're we're they're in love with stand-up stand-up is their first love

You know, they really when I first was in New York fuck everybody. I want to do a set So now you have this other passion that you're doing is everybody. I want to do a set. So now you have this other passion that you're doing is where I want to go do a set. I want to go do a set. So that's filling that thing where it's like, where you go take some chick out to dinner and try to get laid. Every night. That would be what it was. Like, let me line this up. Now I have to like line up a set. But that actually opens up room for somebody, for something real, for something to come in. And especially like all the hardship that comes with it. Yeah. Like when you have like a, when you bomb and you have, you know, whatever, having someone home to kind of like depend

on and stuff. So yeah, I'm trying that out. Dating is trash here though. Like the girls, you know, like I'll go on a date. They won't text me for like a week until the next date. Why? They're just, you know what? It's, are you doing the app thing? I'm doing it. I've done the app called it off the fucking app. Where do you want me to meet them? I want you to be a man. And meet them where? At a club, the front row. You fuck the chicks that see you.

No, I'm kidding. I was going to say. You fuck the waitresses. You fuck the waitresses like a real man. The waitresses at the stand are fucking hot. I know, smoking hot. Listen. Yeah, dude, get off that shit.

I'm on one app. I'm on the celebrity app. Delete it. You know what? You really wanted me to check who's into a celebrity? Dude you want to square. I thought I was getting celebrities. You don't fuck a chick with a headshot. Rule number one. Yeah you're right. You're right. You don't fuck a chick. That's my rule. Totally. And now Rogan had took it over but I'm the one who started it by the way. Yeah. You don't fuck anybody with a headshot. There's room for one drama mom in a relationship.

You don't wanna come home, you know, my set was fucked up too, get the fuck out. I have an audition tomorrow, can you help? No, I'm not helping you become successful. Right, right, right. No, you don't need, you need to square, dude. You need to, what you need to do, you do your standup,

and then maybe there's a couple girls, you talk to them, and then you go, you know, and then when you get, you'll know that one, and then maybe there's a couple girls, you talk to them and then you go, you know, and then when you get, you'll know that one and then you get her number, you take her out on a date, maybe bring her back to your stand up again. Yeah. And then you go out, you kind of slow roll it and then before you know it, you marry her,

before you know it, her vagina dies with premenopause and you're sleeping alone with a spurn-a-doodle in your bed and you fucking get nothing and it's over. Sounds amazing. Yeah. Sounds great. How's that? Your pubes die and they fall out. I'm just gonna keep banging models. Yeah, keep banging models. Stay on the app. Well listen dude, I'm telling you man I was so excited when you came into the bonfire. Yeah. And I'm excited you're into the comedy scene. I know you're gonna, look, it's gonna be tough. Because it's all, look, I always say this, dude.

It's harder for a New York person to do standup. If you're in New York, I say move somewhere else. Go become a headliner somewhere else. Come back, be the new guy, but you're a killer. Because me, Burr, Patrice, Gelman, we were in Boston just loading up. When we came here, we were killer meddlers, good headliners.

So when we came here, new guy, go up, fucking, who the fuck are you? You know what I mean? As opposed to a new comic, all right guy, go up. You see his progression, so it kinda, it's harder. You know what I mean? So. But you're saying you're already kinda primed

and ready to get a comfort on stage. Yeah, but you're doing it here, so your progression, it's gonna be real, but also these people that see you sometimes won't level you up when you're supposed to. You gotta kinda move along and do it. Every night it's different. They either give you the fake, I get way less fake laughs than I do in New York

than I do just, we're not giving you any credit here. Do you tell them who you are? I make a couple jokes about it at the top just to kinda get the elephant out of the room. Cause usually there are people there that know me. So I just move on. I get it out of the way, and then I just go to material. You know what I mean?

You just try to go up and not mention it and get them under? Rick's class was the first time ever that I crafted a set that had zero Jersey Shore material. Right. Because also I felt weird being in this class every week with these kids and talking about me being a reality star. You know what I'm saying?

But I do find it like, as soon as I go up there, there's a lot of chatter in the room. So I just make a stupid joke to defuse the situation and then I move on. But yeah, no, eventually. I remember one time I saw Chris Rock do New Joke Night. And I'm like, oh my God, Chris Rock. I was a fan and shit, just sitting in the audience and then like he just started talking like I'm single You know, he's like I gotta wash my sheets tonight. I was like, oh, this is amazing Like, you know, like he's not talking about him, you know

but if he was in a room full of Chris Rock fans like sometimes I watch Chappelle do those like Workout rooms. They do talk about the celebrity of it all a little bit. Yeah, I hate it when they know. When I was with, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was with Kurt Russell. I never shut the fuck up. Right, right, right, right.

No, no, no. Quentin Tarantino once said to me, shut the fuck up. Chris Rock's talking about his divorce. It's like everyone's relating. I mean, dude, he's one of the best. I love him downstairs. He was working on his act and he was bombing. And at one point he best. I love downstairs. He was working on his act and he was bombing and he at one point he he went

Don't worry I'll I'll I'm gonna Chris rock that stuff. It's gonna be hilarious by the time I'm telling it nice and then you saw it three months later. Yeah, and he shot us back It was just murdered, you know that little so that yeah, that's a real comic. Yeah No, no, no, we got some other stuff we want to do. Danny, can you please assist? Yeah. So we have a game we made up. Oh, wait a minute. You were fat? Nah, yeah. I was... When did you get fat? She's pretty hot. So no. Will you get off the fucking app? So... Let me see. This was Instagram. Oh, dude. I don't know. Just like something popped.

Listen, dude. Can I... Is that your... Does she send that to you? No, no, no. Oh, you, I don't know. Just like something pop listen to it. Can I is that you're just she send that to you? No, no, no, you follow. This is I follow her. Yeah, my heart just stopped. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. That's the nicest ass I was fat when I did in between Jersey Shore when I came off when I went off the air So what happened was that depression? No, it was fucking just like not how well it was a couple things like Jersey Shore kind of kept me in shape And then I started doing improv So you became gay fat? just like not well it was a couple things like Jersey Shore kind of kept me in shape and then I started doing improv. So you became gay fat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gay fat improviser and, and, you know, it's called the, the, the first, the first 50. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Improv. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody does it. Yeah. And then I went keto.

And I had a cookbook called the Keto Guido Cookbook. No shit. And when I was doing keto, the fucking weight just, I didn't have to try. The weight just flew off me. What is a keto? I know what it is, but can you explain what you just, you get ketosis.

That's it. So real, people say keto, but they're not really keto. Real keto is when you're in ketosis. That's why it's called keto. But to be in ketosis, meaning like your body is just running off of fat instead of sugar, you have to essentially eat no sugar. But if you eat like an onion, it's gonna have sugar

and you're not keto. So what are you gonna eat? So you're just eating like a lot of meats and cheese and greens, and that's it. So steak, chicken? Steak, chicken, but it has to be fatty because otherwise you're not going to be satiated. Yeah, so you're going to get fat stuff. Bacon.

Bacon. Bacon. Eggs. But no sugar in it. Like bacon has a lot of sugar in it. No, just regular bacon, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when I was doing that, my body was, because I'm a fucking guinea, so my body was in like

such a shock from like not eating pasta. I got real thin. I got like anorexic fuck Oh good. You lost muscle. Yeah, but I didn't care about that because I was like, oh I've abs like I'm and then that's exactly When jersey short came back it wasn't even I timed it just happened at the same time God and then Chippendale saw me with my shirt off and they're like, oh Vinny like kind of reinvented himself Yeah, but yeah, like I have before and afters where like I I'm the internet? It's on... I have an Instagram page called Keto Guido. The internet's down right now. Will you get me a... I want one of your books.

I can get it to you. Yeah. You gonna make me pay for it? No, of course not. Yeah, dude, I lost... dude, I... I'm also like a professional jump roper. I don't know if you knew that. What? Did you just say it to me? So I have an Instagram page called Vinny Jumps. What? And I have an Internet's really down. Come on, you guys suck. I have an Instagram page called the Keto Guido. The Keto Guido. The Keto Guido. And that has like almost a million followers. But I don't really post on there anymore. OK. And then Vinny Jumps is my I started jump roping during COVID for. You're a professional. Is there a thing a class like does someone learned online? But so this is thing you don't there wasn't like a jump rope I feel like do tricks with it

What the fuck how does it spin without you holding it Vin who's pool is that I rented a house in the hamper. Dude, I'm sorry. I'm old. I'm old. I'm looking at different things. Look at the trees. Is that a birch? Yeah. Dude, that's great. One fact about me. Dude, that's crazy. Dude, you're a very interesting crowd. Yeah, that's why I like when we were talking about the, like I said, they're always coming to watch me do new things because I always have like a new obsession. Yeah. Like, you know, stripping and now comedy and jump roping improv.

You know what I mean? Do you do double Dutch? No, I don't do double Dutch. No? It's all solo. All solo by myself. You never hooked up with a couple of black chicks? Nah, nah, nah.

All solo. I do only date almost exclusively black chicks though. I don't do double-dutch with them. All right, we gotta, we gotta. So we can't do the game? No, we can do the game. All right, let's do this. Tell us, we're gonna play a couple games with you, if you mind.

Let's go. It's gonna be fun. So we made up some reality TV shows, and we did also a steep dive to find some really obscure, crazy reality TV shows. So we're gonna name the shows, explain where it is, and it's both of your jobs to guess if we made it up, if it's real or if we're gonna-

So you're gonna give us like the plot of the show? The name and the plot, we're gonna give you- The name and the plot, we have to guess if it's real or not. I can't believe this. You should be. And I want Bobby to guess first Because I feel like you're more you would know. Yeah. I don't want his guests to affect Bob. Okay. Okay. Okay good And we're so many I'm also gonna name for for game. Yeah, it's and then you name which one you think's real

You got a finish, okay, okay In you wanna you wanna fuck no no no Principle... Why do you just make me feel bad that I'm doing one? I don't even know what it is. I just hear people talk about it. But I don't do anything. I don't even take...

Is that caffeine or something? No, it's nicotine. Oh, nicotine. You do cigars? I always smoke a cigar, yeah. I smoke cigars at Russell Peters. I love Russell Peters. He loves cigars.

He's the best. In his backyard. Russell Peters literally met me on Opie and Anthony. The next week I was driving one of his cars in LA. Dude, he's the nicest. He's given me his house. With him not in it. He's given me the house. With his family in it. I'm not kidding. I called him. I go, dude, I'm in front of your house. He goes, all of a sudden the gate opens. Go in. I go

to the front door. His son answers, hello? Yeah. Why is he so like generous? And he put me in the backyard and gave me a sudden the gate opens. It's amazing. Go in, I go to the front door, his son answers, hello? Yeah, why is he so generous? And he put me in the backyard and gave me a box of Cubans. We should FaceTime him. He is the best, let's FaceTime him. Let's see who he answers first. Yeah, yeah. Wait, let me go first.

Yeah, you can go first. He's probably gonna answer you first, but. Nah, he'll answer you. He always calls me from Abu Dhabi with someone that watched Jersey Shore. He doesn't call, he doesn't do that with me, so he'd answer you first. Let's see, Let's see.

Don't show him yet. No, I won't. God, I look good. You do, man. Oh, answer. Hey. What are motherfucker? We're just talking about you. We were just talking about how you are the nicest guy in the business. How dare you. You are.

Vinny again. Hold on. Vinny, look. Hey. Hi. How are you? Yeah, she knows Vinny, but you didn't show her me. She didn't recognize you.

You're too thin now. Nice talking to you. I said Russell has given me his house with no one in it. And then he said Russell has given me his house with my one in it and then he said Russell's given me his house with my family in it. No with your with your family in it. Chuck Zito's here too. Is Chuck Zito? Oh all right that's great. Tell Chuck I love Chuck he's the best his book was awesome. All right. I told him I told me you could beat him up. Hi nice to to see you. Hi, good to see you again. Hi Vinny, how are you? I'm good, thank you.

I'm Bob. I'm a rebel. Vinny's better. I get it. He's hotter than me. Vinny, we want to see your shipping deals. We just watched the whole shower whole just Google the shower scene

How about how about Torgasm I love you. Thank you. What. I have your signature on a poster. I love you. Thank you. What do you think of my... What about me doing a little Chippendale? Oh, yeah. She got your autograph, Bobby. Look, he's just going around his house.

You're hilarious. There's a million people there. Listen. My son's had a birthday party for my son just now. Happy birthday. Hi, how are you? Hi. How are you doing there, Vinny?

Nice to meet you. I'm good. Bobby and Vinny. Hi, Vinny. I want Vin how are you? I'm good. Hi Vinny. I want Vinny for my bachelorette also. I got you girl. Listen, tell her I'm actually 30% cheaper. I'll give her a deal. I do a barbecue dance.

I cook ribs and I dance. Russell, how's Facebook? Ribs for her pleasure. Nice. Ha ha ha. All right. All right, buddy. I'm going to the quiet room now. Everybody fucking leave me alone.

All right, well we're live on my podcast right now. I said how's Facebook? How's Facebook, he said. Facebook. You don't remember that? Who was that again? You're fucking... What is it? You can say say? We're alone now.

Baby mama, I think. Well, you know, I call her Facebook again. What do you because fucking bitch. Oh, yeah. That's right. That's right. I forgot about that. That's funny. Are you in a new house? Are you still in the other house? No, I moved back to my Malibu house.

Oh, what happened? What happened to your other house? I still have it, but I'm selling it. Because Vinny was living around the corner, and then he moved, and I was like, I'm not living here then. Are the cigars still in the back? Yeah, I got a nice smoke in here. You're gonna love it here.

Oh, nice. That's how we started talking about you. We were talking about smoking cigars in the yard. I'm coming out the LA. You smoke cigars, Vinny? Yeah, we smoked them. We were watching a fight recently at your house. Remember you smoked your cigars? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, we smoked them. We were watching a fight recently at your house. Remember you smoked your car?

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, I know. Yeah, nice talking to you. I texted Ryan for his birthday too. Oh, okay, nice. Old guy now. He's 40. I know.

He's old as shit. How old are you now, Vinny? 36. Yeah, yeah. Well, now you're finally at the age of the size of tits you like. Exactly. I'm at 52, and those are the tits you like. Exactly. I'm at 52 and those are the tits I like. I'm 54 and that's I can't think of any.

It's a good studio. Listen, I'm coming out the six doing Bonfire Live for the whole week. I get home on the six. Perfect timing. All right. I'm going to come out and hang and say hi. You need a car while you're here? He's the fucking best guy in the world. No, I don't need a car. I'm going to Uber. Thank you very much, buddy.

All right. I love you, dude. I love you both. You're both you're both awesome humans and I'm happier together. Please enjoy your scissoring. Thank you. I'll talk to you later, pal. Bye. He's the bad. I mean, there's nobody better in the to you later, pal. I see. Bye. He's the I mean, there's nobody better in the literally you want a car. Who the fuck says that?

You need a car while you're in L.A. Yeah. Yeah. How many famous people I know in L.A. famous comedians. They don't even ask me if I want a fucking sandwich. Yeah. Anyways. All right. Let's play this game. You ready? Yeah. In the middle of that, put a photo of him up while he's talking. OK. And then put the photo of Vinny, but in the shower.

You heard all the girls. They knew about they knew about the body. They wanted nothing to do. I'm not doing any more, though. That's the sad part. I retired. I hung the cock sock up. Can I have it? Yeah. Yeah, you got it. Can you sign the cock sock? Yeah. Yeah. It'll be used, never washed. I want to put it in the studio.

Yes, let's do it. I'm going to get it framed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be a great. It's like Jordan's Jersey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, let's play this game. Go ahead.

Okay, first one of the four, Celebracadabra. It was a reality TV show where they mashed up a magician with a celebrity. The magician had to teach the celebrity magic and then they would compete, the celebrities would compete in magic having just learned magic and see who's the best magician celebrity.

I'm gonna say it's true. Wait, we're gonna name three more and then you have to guess which one to go. Okay, go ahead. Oh, we're gonna name three more, which one's true. Go ahead. Principal Seagal, which is Steven Seagal, became principal of his kid's middle school

for one full year and they filmed it. Okay. That sounds true. Number three. He's fucked, he does everything. Almost Terrorists. It was a show where they found people that almost became a terrorist, but didn't, and then they followed their journey

back into normal life, not being a terrorist. That's true in Yemen. Yeah, that was on MTV Afghanistan. Yeah, exactly. And number four is, so you think you can juggle, which I think you get based on the name, jugglers compete to see who's the best juggler. So we have to, out of those four, one of them is which one?

One of them is true. Well, only one of them's true. OK, I'm going to say them again. They're just no, I know them all. I'm not stupid. OK, all right. Go ahead. Name it again. So Celebra Kadabra. I want that one to be true. I'm going to I'm going to principle.

So goal. No, that's not true. Almost terrorists. I can't be. I want that to be true. I'm going to I'm going to principle. So goal. No, that's not true. Almost terrorists. I can't be. I want that to be true, too. That's a good. I would love to watch that. I was just thinking of really good. And so you think you can juggle. They haven't practiced it. Well, I know with meaning.

No, you don't mean it. No, but that is it. It was about their transition back. Oh, transition. It was like the Amish people that go like, live in. Oh, they get that couple months? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They go to finger bang fucking local broads in a hotel?

Yes. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna go first. I'm gonna say, what was the first one? Celebracadabra. Celebracadabra, I want it. First of all, I want that shirt. I want Celebracadabra shirt. Yep. I'm going to, God, because these, what was the last one?

So you think you can juggle. Oh, fuck. If that's true, I'm going to hand myself. There's not that many jugglers that compete on that. I'm going to say the first one, Celebracadabra. All right, so this is kind of cheating, but I'm going to say that one too, because I was offered that show.

You were! I was offered that show. You were! I was offered that show. Can I tell you, when I was Googling it, I go, before I pick this one, let me go to make sure he hasn't been on it. You weren't, so I go, let me use it. I did Dancing with the Stars, same Booker. Right? And, yeah.

Was it the, it was like, Chris Angel? Yeah, Chris Angel. Why did you turn it down? That would have been so- I was, I had something else. It was like Chris Angel? Yeah, Chris. Why did you turn it down? That would have been so I was I had something else. It was only a one episode thing. Right. So like, yeah. But then like the next week I did Dancing with the Stars. I do a lot of those like weird like I got a lot of those offers.

I want a celebrity cadaver shirt. Do they exist? Did the show come on or it would? It did air one season. OK, I didn't really do that. Well, I got to see who's I love fucking magic. I would have. I was into it. Fucking turds. That's what they were doing before stand up. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I go to magic shows in the off. I love fucking magic. I was into it. These two fucking turds, that's what they were doing before standup. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, look. I go to magic shows in the city. Dude, I love magic.

Yeah, magic's great. And they refuse to do it. Listen to me. I wanted to have a magic off between them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This fucking kid refuses it. Why? It's some code he,

some weird artistic code he has. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That he won't do magic ever again. He put his magician wand down and he refuses to pick it back up. I was getting a little bit into it because like I was like learning the like the mentalism. That's my shit. What's that? Mentalism is like where like you know a guy could just be like give me your phone and then like he could like guess what you searched four days ago or something. Tranny porn.

With you it wouldn't be that hard actually. SH and fucking sheet mail. The mentalism shit will blow your mind. Yeah. I mean dude, I love it all. I would love to be a magician. I was looking into it. Like there's like these like weird, cause they want people to enter the world, but they

don't want to like give the tricks away obviously so you have to like really seek it out and like you go to like these weird websites and you buy like five minute clips of like them teaching you it's kind of it's it's a weird culty yeah yeah magician thing magical thing yeah yeah and he won't fucking do shit you suck all right go ahead next or do another one yeah let's do another one. Okay. This is fun. I like this game. Mommy Milkers. There's the name of the show. This is a porn that I just watched. There's a guy, he's 19 years old,

still breastfeeding, refuses to stop. Follow him. No, I mean. Number two. Yeah. Micro problems. Man has a micro penis. I think he's laughing at his own joke. He's like, I'm really proud of this one.

His name's Danny. Man has a micro penis. They go follow him on dates, talk to the girls after the dates, follow his life as a micro penis. Man. Wow, you guys are like fucking thinking of good shows. Seriously. How hard is it to think of a reality show? We should pitch all these man. Wow, you guys are like fucking thinking of good shows. Seriously. How hard is it to think of a reality show?

We should pitch all these shows. Yeah, these are great. Smell it to win it. Smell it to win it. I guess would be considered a game show and not a reality show, but they have people smell something, they're blindfolded.

If they guess what it is based on the smell, they win it. Or the last one is undercover princes, where they have a prince from another country come and pretend that he's not a prince. I don't know, I don't actually know from any of these. You go first. Shit. What was the smell one?

Smell it to win it. I feel like these are like, because you like TLC, they have like my crazy obsession. I feel like these would be like an episode, but these are like actual shows. Well, only one of them's an actual show. Yeah, but like it's an actual show. It's not like an episode of like my crazy obsession. I like actual show sucking on titties. Yeah. Um, shit. Uh, I'm going to say smell it to win it. You think smell it to win it. I want that to be it. Process of elimination.

What the fuck are the... Oh my God. Pennies. Asshole. Yeah. I'm going to say the last one, the princess. Bobby, you got that one right. I got it.

This is the real one. Undercover princess. One, one. We have one more for you guys. We have one more. So it's one, one. Where the fuck did undercover come from? Dude, wait till you see what you win, whoever wins. Oh, shit. But if you want to win it, you got to smell it.

You have to smell it. OK. All right, go ahead. Last one, we have Big Brother, which is like Big Brother, but black. Again, I would love to see this show. That would be the greatest thing ever. Go ahead. We have my big fat American gypsy wedding.

You just combined two shows. Did you say Jew wedding? No. Gypsy. Oh, gypsy. That's a real show. My big fat American gypsy wedding. OK.

OK. Yeah. We have. That's self-explanatory. Yeah, yeah. We have Love is Retarded. But this was back when you could say retarded. And name the show after me.

First of all, you could never say retarded. You could only say it to your friend in the car when they cut you off or something. Or, final option, are you hotter than a fifth grader? Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. I mean, that could have been a real show. Yeah. Ha ha ha. He'll cause me. Ha ha ha. Yeah.

Go ahead. Those are the four options. I'm gonna, we know what it is. Yeah, yeah. It's the gypsy. The fat gypsy wedding. All right, so we tied. Thank God. I would have loved to say harder than a fifth grader.

It's some good shows, yeah. All right, well listen man, this is very interesting though. Before we go, we're gonna do these questions I have for you. Okay. But we kind of fucked up on the questions, but you have a clothing line. Oh, and that was a long time ago. But you did it, I really like the cars that you did it for.

That was back when I did the I have one? Yeah, what was it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now that was something I did a long, that was a deep dive into the Wikipedia that somebody pulled up over there. No, but I, no, I, I, I. I don't even remember what it was for, but no, I'm very, I'm very. It kills me.

No, I'm serious. I'm very. It was for anti-bullying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was anti-bullying. I like try to like do, fill in. Were you bullied at all? Tropical, I was bullied. You were? I was, yeah, yeah, I was a late bloomer.

I was a late bloomer, literally. Yeah, I was really just puberty, hit me hard, I was fuckin' ugly as fuck. And up until like Jersey Shore, literally, I was like, I used to go, I was partying at the Jersey Shore when I was 21, like I was like, I used to go, I was partying at the Jersey Shore when I was 21, like, and like, I used to like, girls used to reject me. And I'd be outside the bar and I'd be like,

in a month, I'm gonna go do this show and be famous. And they'd be like, yeah, shut the fuck up, you fucking loser, you know what I mean? And then I was, and then I was, and now those same girls can't fucking touch me, you know what I mean? All right, relax. Relax. Yeah, yeah.

I'm big into like mental health, I have anxiety. I wrote a book called Control the Crazy that was- No shit. Back then that was, I would change things in the book, but it was like, I've had like anxiety episodes on Jersey Shore where like I've had to like, that's where the let go, let God comes from. That was me when I used to get bullied, yeah.

Wow, dude, can I just say? Yeah. I would have bullied you. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Dude, you really did bloom into something. That's the cover of I'm Hotter Than a Fifth Grader. All right, let's get into these questions. Now we fucked up a little bit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we usually, we put them up on the Patreon. Okay. And we didn't put, we just put, they, yeah. Because we usually put them up on the Patreon. Okay. And we didn't put, we just put, they put, this fucking asshole just put Vinny. Oh! Well, you put my picture though, right? No, but that was after. That was after.

So they were just asking questions to a guy named Vinny. Oh, this is amazing. So these are two- This is so much better. These are to Vinny. You ready? I love it. What's your favorite type of pasta sauce?

These are so much better than I would have gotten. But these are the people want to know. They don't want to know. Oh, snookie like we're going to go to Patreon for the real questions to you. Oh, but these these are to Vinny. OK. Favorite type of pasta sauce. Probably have to go with a vodka sauce. Really? It's the most, it's like the most universal. I'm going to tell you, I would have went to Bolognese up until last year. Yeah. When I went to my friend Paul Guida has amazing, one of the best Italian restaurants I've ever been

to, uh, Casalettos. That's the way you got to say it. It's Casalettos, but he goes, uh, this is Paul Guida from Casalettos. Yep. Yep. Um, You ever been to Straga in Boston? No. Oh, it's a good place. No, La Familia Giorgio's in Boston? No, no, no. My favorite place.

Only know Straga, this guy, Nicky owns it. He's like a big guy there. Next time you go to Boston, go to La Familia Giorgio's. All right. I worked there as a waiter. That's where I met my wife, by the way. She was waiting tables too. Little history for you.

Because she doesn't have a headshot. No, she doesn't. Exactly.'t exactly damn right gonna get a waitress dude take her out of the fucking misery all right here's the net so I would say that but now last year I had the vodka I'm I think vodka for me too it's universal it's universal yeah something about it clean yeah it's clean all right ready does pineapple go on a pizza this This is no, no, absolutely not. No, no, no. No, that's in L.A. So Rogan eaten the pineapple with the anchovies with Elon Musk.

It was disgusting. I don't mind an anchovy. Pete, that's that's an exotic apple pineapple. Pineapple fucked that. It's just not pizza at that point. You're just eating a bunch of shit on bread. You know what I mean? That's a good answer is Vinny.

Yeah. All right, how many track suits do you own? I just love this question because it's not for me, it's for Vinny. For Vinny, it's, oh shit. I don't think I even have one anymore. I used to have a Gucci one every other day in high school and a couple of Fila.

Wow, Fila, remember Fila back in the day? Staten Island, baby. Now Fila's at fucking, at Burlington Coat Factory. Exactly, yeah. All right, well there you go. All right, listen. I want to say we're going to go to the Patreon right now in a minute, but dude, thank you for coming on.

My pleasure. Big fan. That's why I did this. Dude, I'm a big fan too and And I hope maybe we'll work together. I hope so. Soon. Show me the ropes. Nah, dude, you're fucking doing it, brother.

I love that you're doing it the right way too. Yeah, but with your guys' wisdom and knowledge, I really appreciate it. Absolutely. You, Russell, like everybody. Everyone's been so kind to me. It's one thing about comics is like, as a reality star, obviously, you're looked at as like some weird, obscure thing. And it's like, you can't really walk into like

the acting world and be respected. Can't walk into like, you know, get on stage and be a musician or something. Or even if you released a song, it's corny. But comedy, comics have always been like Russell, like you, like just people be like,y look if you want to try that go ahead Go ahead. You know what I'm stage. It's just you by yourself You know get on stage and do it and if you're funny you're funny and you can't like Jay like he'll be like

Oh, like you know, I'm doing thing you want to come on this weekend. I'm like bro. I'm like fucking Joe Coy he's like dude come on the road with me. I'm like bro Like I just started yeah, give me give me a look But it's just that loving welcoming accepting thing that I love and all these guys are getting nervous that I'm like, bro, like I just started. Give me, give me a little, but it's just that loving, welcoming, accepting thing that I love. And if all these guys are getting nervous, then I'm going to fucking bring you on the road instead of them. Sorry guys. I have better abs. I got, you blow me off stage and you take your shirt off at the end. I have to go on. All right. So, uh, is there anything you want to plug before you got to go?

No, just my Instagram at Vinny Guadagnino, and Jersey Shore's airing right now. Every Thursday night at 8 p.m. on MTV. Make sure you check it out, fucking great guy, and make sure if you see him doing stand-up, go check him out. And I'm gonna be all over the place. Go to punchup.live, slash Robert Kelly, slash tickets,

or just go to punchup.live and sign up for that, or you can go to Robert Kelly Live, but Punch Up has all my stuff. I'm going to be in Boston coming up. Danny's going to be in Boston. Sarah Soda, I'm going to be at McCurdy's. Then I'm doing a live Bone to Pick with Paul Verzi at the Red Clay Festival May 11th. We're going to be doing a live podcast. It's going to be awesome. Stanford Connecticut. I'm going to be in Vesanis, back in Florida again, St. Louis, Funny Bone, I'm going to be in Maryland, I'm going to be in Port,

then I go for the summer, July, I'm going to be doing a bunch of shows, and we also have a big, big show coming up with the Regs, I'm going to be doing a show at, on what's the date? Nice. Regs are doing a big show, Cape Cod Melody Tent, I believe it's in July. It is August 15th. August 15th, me, Joe List, Dan Soda, and Luis J. Gomez, hosted by the legend Rich Vos.

It's an epic show. It's a once in a lifetime show. So come down and check that out. Get your tickets all up there at PunchUp.live. All right, we're going to the Patreon right now. Guys, what do you got real quick, go. Max Marcus Comedy, all social media. Follow me on Instagram, at Danny Braff, and come to Comedy Averve, the third Thursday of every month

in Summerville, New Jersey. Why don't you check out the Cheese Show on YouTube by just typing in cheese show. All right there you go we'll see you guys next week on you know what dude podcast you guys are the best you know what dude and we're going to Patreon we'll see you over there. You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs.