Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Wait for It
Episode Date: April 17, 2017This week on YKWD: The Regulars are back! Robert Kelly brings back the trinity of YKWD, Dan Soder, Joe List and Luis J. Gomez in an explosive episode. Things get heated, arguments over recent Roast Ma...sters drama get revealed and it ends in debates arguing both sides. Watch/Listen to how everything goes from morning Don Rickles to Luis J. Gomez falling out of his chair. Enjoy Dudes! RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com.
Welcome to the funniest podcast of the planet Earth.
This is going to be a cost of art.
It's podcast, it's no rules.
I'm sure I've already sent you today.
Can I get a mic?
No!
That was a try to keep it like a comic.
I have a bunch of guys on.
It just does sit down.
Yeah.
And sometimes it's hilarious.
Sometimes it's 10 no topics.
No directions.
I love doing it.
Side to the coin.
Side to the coin.
Side to the coin.
Side to the coin.
Side to the coin.
I don't know what I'm doing.
My podcast is popular.
I might affect some people's life.
You never know.
He's where we kill these.
You know what to podcast on lightcast.com.
There he is. Rest in peace.
There he is. Rest in peace.
The greatest of all time right there. Don Rickles. Rickles. Rickles. Rickles.
Don Rickles. He is, I mean, I look, if you're a comic and you didn't spend the weekend watching YouTube videos of Don Rickles. You're not a comic. Yeah, you don't have a funny fucking bono your body
He is the funniest of all time every show he was on
Johnny Carson was my favorite he Johnny Carson
all of them
Donnie he was you're not donnie. He was the other guy. what's the other guy what's the other big
was his name
the other big uh... talk show host
what's his name somebody help me
uh... you know what any other now still down here
no no no i thought i thought you have a full-time i'm a moron not
donnie
more it's not much no no ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha No, not more. What's his name? He's the guy who owns all the show, came up with all the shows.
You know that?
Oh my God.
Come on.
Somebody.
Fucking what's the, hey, just put Don Rickles.
Murrf Griffin you fucking.
Oh, I'm murrf.
Okay.
You know, it's weird because everybody forgets about murve Griffin
But Murve Griffin was the bit one of the biggest guys in Hollywood ever
Yeah, I mean huge
And he there was it was there was one with mr. T murve Griffin and and and don't
Uncomfortable. Yeah, cuz murve was trying to be funny. Murve was trying to get mr. T mad at Don Rickles
Right fucking Rob Sprance. Oh, Rob. Oh my gosh. Now the co-founder, the co-founder of Riotcast, he is actually
the CEO co-founder. I'm the president and co-founder. Rob Sprance, you're on the YKWD,
ready to be. What's up, Rob? What's going on?
Wow, that's official.
I like it.
Rob, you're the CEO to my heart.
What is she squawking about?
I can't.
She's trying to kiss your ass.
She's trying to get in with you now.
What's up?
What's going on?
You're fucking.
I'm doing a tribute to Don Riggles and you called.
What's up?
That's how much I love you.
I appreciate that, but this is like I can repeat on the air because there's many big things happening at riot cast that these guys can't comprehend
so we can't replace them now oh my god speaking of big things big things we have the number one show on iTunes today on riot gas. The man the the man chip chip is in
Pada cast. What's that?
We have the chip chip is in Pada's it's number one on iTunes. It did I mean thousands thousands and thousands of it's thousands and thousands and oh we
didn't record now we now record oh my god but you're recording over here right we got it we got it
oh my god all right we're not even recording now we're recording I hit the wrong I hit fucking
play because I'm a moron you got the sound right yeah I got the sound baby you're gonna have to
get the sound off of the video because dumb bobby can I got you I got you I got you sound, baby. You're gonna have to get the sound off of the video. Because Dom Bobby, I got you.
I got you, baby.
Oh, yeah.
That's a sound guy and audio guy.
Can you make sure that I hit that button from now on?
Sure.
What a mook.
That'll be my new job.
I literally have one job on this whole fucking show.
I've set it up so I can walk in and push a button,
which you don't even need me to push.
You can just record the video. You don't even need it. It's like a backup. And I don't even need me to push. You can just record the video.
You don't even need it.
It's like a backup and I can't even do that Rob.
Fucking goddamn.
But you get too big for your own good man.
You get too big for your own good.
Too many staff.
Was that a fat joke?
What was that?
I think it was a fast one.
I wasn't a fat joke, but I'll add that in as well.
All right, so you can't say anything.
But we have the number, Chip Chipperson has the number one
podcast on iTunes, thousands and thousands. I I mean the biggest show ever to hit the
president on this first episode. Yeah, he's best freaking friend. Yeah, so we're very proud and there's more stuff to come correct Rob.
Yeah, I'm trying to get ham a piston podcast if I can't work in some channel.
I gotta go. Well, you want to broadcast wars? I'm trying to get ham a fristing podcast if I can. I'm working some channel. I get a good.
Well, you want to do a podcast wars?
All right, buddy.
So I'll talk to you later.
Then you got nothing right?
I will talk to you later.
Good.
Well, as the CEO, that was really he had nothing to my show.
I really really pull that a lot.
As he says, he's a host, not a comic.
Oh my God.
Anyways, yes, I just want to say that Chip Chipperson
Pada the Cast is number one.
And if you, if you, look, if you listen to my show,
this show is 22 minutes, 2015 to 2020, something minutes.
It's the fastest, greatest show.
You're a list of eye-hanging. 2015 to 2020 something minutes. It's the fastest, greatest show. Your level is do I hate?
Hey, chip, chiperson.
Hate him with fucking 95 A's.
I told my son loves him.
Sharing me. I don't like that. That's that my son loves him. My son loves him. I'm just carrying me, I don't like that sound.
My son loves him.
My son, I put this, this is how fuck that is.
I put it on in the car coming home
from where he can sons this weekend,
and he goes, that's chippah.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
I'm so mad.
Oh my god.
My wife loves him.
I call my wife listening to the podcast.
Stop, don't, I love it.
Hoh!
Yeah.
So there you go.
iTunes, riotcast.com, videos going up.
He actually has my fucking AAA team is on his show.
Yeah.
I kinda, anyways, we got this other thing right here
which I want to talk about, right?
What was that?
Outside.
I thought that was warm in the box.
Can we just talk about this?
Can we, well, right now too, if you go to riotcast.com,
go to the store, merch table,
or you can go to my Instagram, the links up to your Facebook,
Twitter, we got these brand new hoodies in.
This is the darkest black, you get,
this is called space, dark, and Jupiter black.
You can't get this black, this black doesn't exist.
It's called black on black on black.
Black on black.
Yeah, even black guys are like, that's black.
Can I say that without being a trouble?
You can say.
Yes, sure.
It's fact.
This is the new True Story Tour hoody.
Um, it's fact. This is the new True Story Tour hoodie.
It's available right now on, on merch table at RiotCaster.
You can go to my Instagram or anything.
And click on the link, it's up there.
And get yourself one of these awesome hoodies.
It's a summer hoodie, so don't worry about it.
It's for the summer, the cold chilly nights, sometimes, you know.
By the fire.
Well, you know, you smoking outside,
you wanna pull a little hoodie on,
you're on the plane, it's a good plane hoodie,
traveling, you know, it's a great little hoodie,
it's thin, thin, thin, for the summer.
I got it for the summer, it's a summer hoodie.
So make sure you go and check that out.
All right, we got a great show today, man.
Like I said, we got the regulators, the regulators.
We got the regulars on.
We got one of them here, right?
Let's bring them up.
I mean, I wanna talk about Don Rickles.
And if we could bring up that clip with him
and Murf Griffin would be awesome.
Have it ready to go.
Don Rickles, I mean, one of the funniest guy walking.
I don't give a shit. Because you know, his comedians and cars
with Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry said it the best.
You do it the hard way.
We do it, we know it's gonna work.
Yeah. You go up there and just are funny.
You're being funny.
You're just, you're up there just being funny because if someone else said it, you're way, it wouldn're being funny. You're just made, you're up there just being funny.
Yeah. Because if someone else said it your way, it wouldn't be funny. If someone else did
what he did, it wouldn't be funny. It's because of the way he says it and who says it, saying
it, saying it, saying it, like, says it.
I got a little ship in there.
Let me shut that off a little bit, my fucking chasing. It's, what's that? Yeah, he, he's just amazing. You Yeah, he's just amazing.
You know, he's just amazing.
That's all I did all weekend was watch clips of him.
And a lot of his stuff, he, you know, did, you know, again, the joke with his wife's jewelry
is, you know, his leg shoots straight out.
You know, but he did him indifferent.
It's weird.
I can't. It's okay when he did it the same way. It's weird. I can't.
It's okay when he did it the same way.
Kind of like John Rivers.
Yeah.
I mean, look, John wrote new shit all the time.
She kind of had a thing, but you know, it was good.
It was good.
Someone's here right now.
Who's here?
There he is.
There he is.
Dan Soda.
Don't leave that plenty for you. You look like almost like a Lou Dan soda
Don't leave that plan tree up
You look like almost like a Lou Perlman type like you have like sexy boy band like you have pop stars surrounding you
You're like a pop producer. It's pretty good first one
They laugh because they're afraid of your fucking
You're an ask you sir. Can you
First of all, let's just say this my friend. I just want to say hi. Hi buddy. I want to say this My I mean I love billions. Yeah, I know it's a good show. How my wife likes it really don't gives it a stamp of approval
Love's it. Okay Good good last episode. No, I don't want it. Really? Don gives it a stamp of approval. Love's it. Okay.
Good.
It's the last episode.
No, I don't want it.
I can blow it.
You blow it and I'll fucking jump across this thing.
I lie to you too.
You don't know what's going to happen.
Good.
Yeah.
Can I get a little more juice in my headphones?
Yeah, you can have whatever you want because you're a superstar.
I'm one of my favorite shows.
Not really.
I'm really going to get you out of it.
How's that right there?
A little bit more.
A little bit less.
I know this is going to yell. And there it is. What a perfect putter. We can rattlesnake. Perfect.
On eight. Um, yeah, dude. Great show. Love it. Heat up. What is it? Three episodes left?
That's what bombs me out. It takes so long to come back. Yeah. I mean, we're not starting
from what I've heard it for a while. What a show. If I'm even back, bro, you don't know what's gonna happen.
Yeah, have you come back?
They love you.
You don't know what's gonna happen.
Well, they replaced you with a better character.
Hey.
Well, not better.
I have been layering my character.
Vekion, I watch it with Vekion, and he always does this thing
where he does like a shitty inside the actor studio after., it was turned it off and I'll go where did you go in that?
Let's me say pretentious actor shit. Well last week you went to
strip club you went to a strip club. Oh boy. That was a fun seven hours of shooting
High end strip. Right. Yeah.
It's like, apparently it's based on a real place that these like Wall Street guys go to,
where they're like have cocktails upstairs and it's like anything goes downstairs.
But these girls aren't regular girls.
They're actually girls who are going to school and med school.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They need just smoking hot chicks who are, you know, really intelligent.
They just need a lot of money to go to school and pay for shit.
Yeah, it basically is like, it's like that kind of money where they're like, how much
money would it take for you to strip? And it goes like, I don't know, nine Gs a night.
And like, okay, you want nine Gs? It's a bunch of like business men.
Yeah, it would take you what, 40 bucks. Yeah, 30. 30 bucks. We get a strip right now.
Well, I got, I got 10. I'll do it. I don't want that. I got 20.
We go right out there. I got there's an weekend somewhere.
It's right next to my moons. My mom.
My moon.
The come in for meat.
There was a what that was easily the coolest thing.
I couldn't keep it together really because it was all how many girls were there?
There were like 30.
How do you think they were mostly casted?
Oh, they're like real hot. There are a couple ones that they I felt real bad for this one girl
She was like kind of in the main group where she was gonna get naked with like where David
Gospel and I were and the guys that were playing like them brokers, but then they're like, oh, can we have you
Back over here and then they brought in a hotter girl. Oh, that's Hollywood. That's a Hollywood is like
Can you get get the girl with the mole on her side?
Yeah.
Yeah, I need to go out of the house.
And then they make and action and all the robes are dropping
and they're like, he's like looking around like,
I said, he's telling me he's telling me.
Yeah, get in roll.
Just look forward, drink fake alcohol.
They give me fake alcohol and a bunch of naked women around me.
But they're gonna give you real bulls.
You be sucking a tit like shot nine.
I'm gonna pull a dick out.
Is that cool? Let's do a weird take and cut Dan take the tit out of your mouth
Dan you're getting aggressive
Yeah, you're not supposed to shake their titties
Yeah, look at that don't hurt
What if the girl is I just grabbed my tent? I want to be on TV
I get I get I get I get I get to talk
I want to say five words so I can get money.
She goes bite my nipple.
What?
Bite my nipple.
Why?
And you bite and she goes,
Hey, don't do that.
That's crazy.
Exactly five words.
So they're going to pay a 700 bucks.
And that's segment of them.
That's over five.
Over five.
They go cut.
She goes, did you get that? Like the director? Did you get it? Good. We're good. Now it was it was a it was a
it was a really old that though. Yeah, I got yelled at again. You got yelled at
again. Real good. Because you're fucking up. Here's a deal. You you you what you
did was you had a heart. Yeah. And you let that he she what do they call her? They. They.
Yeah. That's her pronum that's there
yeah now what's her name on the show Taylor Taylor who is fucking amazing yeah yeah
I mean I don't know what she he they they are I don't know what they're about us she is good
man what a great character they I mean especially look when you throw a character it could have gone it could be cheesy because it's like you guys are just trying to fucking jump in on the old he she they fucking
Pronoun shit, but they made this motherfucker a rain man. That's that right everybody loves a rain man. Everybody loves a 59
15 I definitely definitely buy definitely sell. Oh, it's Oh, it's, um, it's cool.
That's a cool character.
She is great.
They are cool characters.
And your character exposes her to acts for the good of the company.
Well, we'll see.
What?
You don't know what it's going to have.
What, oh, are you kidding me?
I don't know.
I'm not giving anything away.
I could blow this whole thing open.
Yeah, because the therapist blow, here's a problem.
Oh, mother fucker open.
Oh, yeah, you get fired.
Oh, 1,000%.
Oh, great.
From one line of dialogue.
We probably say,
Don't 78,7.4 million downloads, Dad.
How so her showtime blackballed yet?
I gotta go back to those communities, Bobby.
I just disappear.
The opening of the first episode of season three would be them at a grave site.
Yeah, they go.
Malfee died in his sleep.
And the casket would be thin, and then at the top of the head is it would be huge.
Okay.
Be a custom made, a little too real, huge head casket.
All right, sometimes a cut deep.
Hey, I'm an actor.
I draw on real things.
I'm stopping in a millennial comic and not taking it.
I'm taking it perfectly.
You fucking asshole.
I got a giant water head
That's just me now you're being me. Don't you wake me up from this don't you wake me up from the
Don't you get fucking macho man on me. How dare you?
Yeah, the people who are pissed I didn't do a macho man
When they gave me the wrestling poster. Oh, how great. What did you really get that? Yeah, it's on my fucking wall my partner
Now, why didn't you do any Andre? I was waiting for Andre Andre Amacho. Why didn't you do that? I don't know.
My character's so referral that they were just like,
let's move this scene along.
But they even cut a little bit more of me
and Taylor and I in that scene.
But why wouldn't you, there he is.
Oh, there's the other one.
Look at Diesel.
Look at fucking, yeah, Joe looks good. Both of them. I, ha ha. Um, I would
Joe, how you doing? Did you and Louis get into a fight on the way up here? I know you came
in not friendly. You weren't tabbed like like Dan came in. He was like, Hey, happy. You
came in. You're like, Hey, hey, don't. And Louis, I expect Louis to be angry a little bit
just because he's always kind of mad. What do you got about something?
Yeah, where's my coffee?
What coffee?
The whole production team would have had waiting for me.
Well, did you ask for coffee?
For four years, I've been coffee anytime I come in.
You were three years, it was a year and a half and then sporadic for two years. Listen, how many?
The Gencies?
How did you ask for coffee?
No, then shut your face.
Barrowed. I've...
All right, I've...
Yes, two questions.
Yes, two questions. One.
Seems to be no camera pointing at me.
Why is that?
Oh, we got a camera on you.
We got a camera on you.
Question two is who is this gentleman over here.
We got a new guy. This is Adam.
He's the new Deepu.
I don't like him.
Already. Deepu's gone. I also call him movie scopo. I like the movie scopo, This is Adam. He's the new Deepu. I don't like him. Already.
Deepu's gone.
I also call him movie scopo.
I like the movie scopo.
We call him.
I like the whiteness.
Yeah.
He's actually enhanced everything.
And the new logo, everything's better.
Everything's better because of this guy.
He's doing a fantastic job.
Oh, we're doing a,
oh, I get it.
We're selling him to the new people.
Is this not it?
Yeah, putting him over. I got it. We're selling him to the new people. Is this not putting him over? I got it. I got it. That's wrestling.
You're wrestling.
It's great here.
Is that come on your face? The new logo?
The mood, the tone in my ear sounds like it's face.
I'm not going to lie. Overall, energy. I don't know if they burn sage in here or whatever.
It's unbelievable.
It wasn't sage. It was actually a burn people's hair.
Yeah, it was actually the hair off of Deepo's forearm. We burned.
Please free me by burning this hair in the studio.
What's the white stuff on the face?
That's just, it looks like a big load.
Yeah, it's a big load. We got the first show. We didn't laugh,
but we'll laugh at this one because I just want everybody to have fun.
I'll ask you a question.
What's the second question?
I already asked two, you dummy.
What's your second question?
I asked both already, and you answered both.
I didn't get the second one.
You answered both.
I forgot it.
How about this one, a fun one? It's not white, it's covered in yellow because it's pee, huh? Both already and you I didn't get the second one you answered both
It's not white it's covered in yellow cuz it's pee, huh?
Like no All right
Not that man, um hang on one second
Right now get off your phone you fucking ass all I'm going turning off my fucking Wi-Fi throw something
Get off your phone, you fucking asshole. I'm going, I'm turning off my fucking Wi-Fi, throw something.
Dude.
Dude?
Don't do that.
Oh!
When you get angry, you'll break your own thing.
No!
That is heavy.
Shit.
I'll sue the fuck out of you.
I will own this studio.
Welcome to the new gas digital studios, everybody.
I'll give you the skanks on the fence.
Come on in.
I love.
You're sort of bedroom to banging.
We had a bad week this week.
He's gone.
How do you feel about Don Reckles?
Did you love him?
Was he one of your top five, top three?
Me?
Yes, you.
I'm staring right at you.
I'm gonna go last.
Why?
I used to find top five.
That's ridiculous.
Wow.
I listened to his album.
Have you listened to this album?
Yes.
It's tough to get through. Okay, What about you? It's tough to get through
I love Rickles. I stand with Joe. I love him, but I don't think he's a top five
Wow, I think he's a hero of common top three top three
He's a rush more of fucking
The rights to play some of the album
Yeah, if you go back in time, you're a rock and play
Rickle stop three 100 percent. Yeah. Yeah, Rickle stop three 100% yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, one of your, uh, you're crazy.
No red fox name a name of Don Rickles bit.
Woody Allen.
When did you stop listening to comedy?
1974, but don Rickles didn't, you understand?
You're talking about two different styles.
You're talking styles of comedy now.
Now, listen, you do joke set up punch tag.
Huh?
Set up.
Yes.
Set up punch tag.
This guy did more of what Vos would do when he goes up. set up punch tag. Set up, yes. Set up punch tag.
This guy did more of what Vos would do
when he goes up, it sounds as album.
Are you making my point or your point?
Yeah, you're making it.
No, I think Rico's just great.
I love him.
I love him on the talk shows.
But that album, if you listen to it,
it does not hold up well.
I'm not one better album than Don Ricoel's Hello, dummy.
I'll reverse your private concert.
Raw from any Murphy,
any car like, but listen, yeah, exactly. Carlin, Cosby, Richard prior, Woody Allen. I mean,
those guys, you know, these guys are all better than Don Rickles. That's why you're out of
your mind. I think rock. You're out of your mind. I think live as a rock. I think live as
a performer, going to see somebody enjoying yourself, laughing your fucking ass off. I think live as a performer, going to see somebody enjoying yourself laughing your fucking
ass off.
I think Don Rickles is the top of the heap.
Top of the heap.
Brian Regan?
You know what bugs me the most?
When a comment goes on a fucking talk show and pontificates and isn't funny and just sits
there and fuck him.
Rickles every time he was on a show right
Destroyed unbelievable roasting destroyed roast rate of crowd work, but he did but that was his thing
He insulted people still up and fucking trashed everybody and made it fun and people nobody could do what he did still not
Top three you're ready tremendous a Rodney danger field. He's better than Rodney danger
Better than Rodney. Yes, He's better than Rodney danger
Be better than Cosby
Well now
Something wait a what Cosby before you know, yeah, you can do it without raising your hand you fucking the link went not even top 40
Hard lines Not even top 40 who Your fucking hard lines
I need to see where the rules go. There's just a warm water. It's just a cold water I'm gonna pour whatever I want to shit about rickus look good for him. I'm glad that he
He's just he's so used to doing MMA talk good for him that he came close
I hope rickus wants a new camp really works all the stuff. Yeah, I mean look it's
good. That being said, I'm gonna say something.
Shut the fuck up to me. Okay, Don Rickles.
What's the name? Why do you?
Where did this come from?
Fine. Where did this come from?
Nobody. Nobody. What is what happens?
Every single day. Every single day.
You are on. Put your fucking finger down.
People go on Facebook and they're like,
Oh, Rickles, he's fucking dead. We got to celebrate his life and you know what they're fucking phony assholes
Jar actually said it just like name one fucking Rickles bit nobody cares. They're all phony's one wiggles bit
Ah my wife my wife kid she can't make it up. You're 50. What about this one? You read the Jewish you're an eagle
What it's a, because the nose.
Yeah, but it's one of those bits.
Okay, you're the one defending him.
That's one of his good classic bits.
I'll tell you that.
This guy hears you the Jewish are an eagle.
All right, here's a deal though.
That's a good joke.
Yep, by you saying it's not funny.
If he said it would have been funny.
Yeah.
And that's the point I was making before
that when he was on comedians with cars,
whatever the fuck thing, would sign off.
Get a coffee.
Jerry said, nobody can do what you do because it's the way you do it coming from you.
You're not a classical comic.
You're not a classical set up punch tag, but you're the only one that can do it.
You do because you're just going on stage being funny with a skeleton of a set.
Well, that's the skeleton.
Right.
Yeah. That was a really good. funny with a skeleton of a set. Well, now it's a skeleton. Right, yeah.
That was a pretty good.
You know what, Sam?
Absolutely what he does is hilarious.
He may, I watched all his fucking, uh,
no one talkers, not a whole day.
No one's arguing that he's not hilarious.
No, we're just saying not top 40, Bob.
You're out of your mind.
No, top 40 is good.
But top three, I think it's all the much.
I'll give him top 70 or 80, but that's it.
I'll say top 15.
I love that. I love that. I enjoy Kirk Metzger more than Don Rickles. I'll go through, I'd draw, but that's it. I'll say top 15. I love that.
I love that.
I enjoy Kirk Metzger more than Don Wrikles.
I'll go through.
I'd draw Dan Soder more than Don Wrikles.
Robert Kelly more than Don Wrikles.
Joe Liss more than Don Wrikles.
He's just being difficult.
No, I'm not.
I really mean that.
He's a contrary and now.
No, no, no, it's a new thing.
I'm not a good story.
How can I get on Reddit?
Why don't you mention, mention Sarah Seveman's name. So that will come up and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, come up and and and and and and and and and and Jeff Ross But you know, honestly, I'm playing to the fucking Reddit people. I don't give a shit now
If I wanted to put it to the right people, I'd be like, oh Amy's fat and fucking Bobby's fat. We check loses
All those followers is go up. I'm all that's a good move Bobby's fat isn't that reddit. That's on Twitter
He just he just redid my joke twice in front of me
And then I take it up with a wicket-peed you and I still hold onto this band
That's fucking it is shitty millennial comic.
I know you're I know you're pain when you don't get enough.
I had I had
We're good enough what?
Get like you know what I say.
Yeah, oh yeah, but I hear what I'm gonna say if you took away if you grabbed two people
Audience members didn't tell them one guy's a legend what Bob the Blah and you played him Don
Rickles album no dan sotas album I would tell you 100 times better let me
let me finish it now this is so good to be fair to be fair comedy does not
hold up well as an art okay ready, ready. It doesn't hold up well
Bobby's a it's a different times right if you listen to that album you Gary
Goman and I listen to that album the car and we were cringing yeah because you two let me take some if you took
Don Rickles in his prime. Yes in his prime
Don Rickles in his prime going up doing a set
Yes, right and him going up doing a set
I guarantee you live at the show you would say fucking Don Rickles killed it
He was the shit and
You be funny
Don't you would not be funny is you think you're funny than Rickles say it
I'm picking up a runny danger for you. He's funny as a rick.
That was not.
Oh, Bonnie.
He's not.
You're wrong.
It's the ghost of danger for you.
I agree with your list.
Don't wriggle.
And Dan you feel wasn't even that funny.
What the fuck did you just say to him?
What the fuck did you want to get on reddit bitch?
You just said you want to get on reddit bitch?
You want to get on reddit bitch?
You want to get on reddit bitch?
You want to get on reddit bitch?
You want to get on reddit bitch?
You want to get on reddit bitch?
You want to get on reddit bitch?
You want to get on reddit bitch?
You want to get on reddit bitch?
You want to get on reddit bitch? You want to get on reddit bitch? You want to get on reddit bitch? You want to get on reddit bitch? You want to get on reddit bitch? This motherfucker look at you you're a hockey puck. Oh, that's good or a fucking gritty. Oh
Dangerfield did was speaking jokes perfectly written Joe. I just want to give it a shot
You want to talk about somebody else? No, he wrote his own joke. No, he didn't have a fucking team shot the
Jeffrey Gurry was on the team
Yeah, he had a whole team of joke right is
He probably did too. No, he didn't it was great didn't. He went up and made it up every night.
Team Dangerfield. Shout out team Riggles. Team. Where's his caddy? Yeah, where's
fun? I don't want good scene and dirty work. Pull up some.
I'm gonna help you to casino casino.
What up?
I'm going to board killers.
Let's keep doing. Wait, stop. This is a very uncomfortable clip of Riggles. I pulled
up where Merv Griffin, you know,
stop for one second.
Johnny Carson and of course,
Don Rickles were famous together.
It was just great.
They played great off each other.
So we're danger-fearing.
Unbelievable, right?
But no, unbelievable.
They played really great.
Merv Griffin tried to be Johnny Carson
and he just, he's not funny.
Johnny's funny.
Merv Griffin's not funny.
They had Mr. T on. It was so uncomfortable.
Because he kept going. He kept going
Rikkels said you weren't you weren't tough. You weren't a tough and Mr. T's like I'm trying to be serious. I'm gonna play a little
I got a movie coming out. I'm trying to promote it. Are you playing? Yeah, watch
but it's a exploitation
Make a fun of me right there. You know, I'm not always on. I got my socks on. Are you funny?
I go for a job.
Everyone's in watch.
Wanna be a real man.
I have a bet.
Well, you didn't like that.
Well, you're sitting right next to him right now.
Wanna buy some polish?
That's what I'm talking about.
Top three.
Who says that?
Stop, stop, stop.
Dude, stop, dude.
Come on.
He fucking missed. T says down
This is what's all get rocky three. We're talking with mr. T people thought he was a real bad-ass motherfucker
He sits down. He goes looks at his dirty boots and he goes you want to buy some polish now listen to mr. T says
There's a reason why where he combat boots, for two reasons. One, they keep me humbled because you got to understand that you're like coming from
the ghetto, you come out here to Hollywood, you get to make a lot of money.
You have a tendency to forget what you come from and what you're about.
So the combat boots reminds me that I have brothers and sisters back home
that I mustn't forget.
The comeback boots reminds me that I still have
the babba mother home.
And the comeback boots remind me of that.
Is this fucking Lewis or is this?
Go ahead.
Still want to build a community center
for the less fortunate people.
And these are all two looists.
And streams, by the way.
This is Lewis's nothing, all right, nice dog.
Bad boots.
You know what I'm saying?
People try to trap me.
You know, I think I got a lot, you know, thinking God the solves
and they've been in the movies.
So, every once in a while, I just step on some people.
Uh-huh.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Look at, look at Murph.
What the fuck, you?
Anybody I know?
Oh, look.
I've been taking the name.
I got a little list back there.
I'm, actually, just one,
when he told me to write that commercial,
he said, like, could punch him out easy.
That's what he told me. I mean, I don't want to start drugs.
Well, I know, I know I'm not going to let you start anything either. You know, people
are going to always talk what they're going to want to do to me.
I didn't say you did it.
I didn't say you did it.
Oh, how quiet you've gotten.
I didn't say you did it.
You know, I'd like you to do something.
It's all right. Me put my arm around, you do it, ever you.
Okay.
I like this guy.
I like it.
Stop.
My problem is, there's no way, there's no way,
Dangerfield would have been funny in that situation.
Bobby, it's not real.
He's not really afraid of him.
He's acting as fine.
We're funny every day on these shows and that whole thing.
That's fine.
The problem is you only had these moments.
Right, I'm gonna stop right there.
I'm gonna stop, you're fine.
But you say it on my point,
I'm gonna stop, I'm gonna stop,
I'm gonna stop you, yes.
Not you, but you.
The thing is, is that you said that we're funny here, funny.
Yeah, we're funny here.
That's the murve griffin show.
The pressure of being on the murve griffin show.
I'm gonna hit that point.
He's been on the murve griffin show.
The murve griffin show, he's been on the tonight show,
the real show. It's
Merv Griffin. Merv Griffin is a
bit different between being on
the real ass podcast and the YKW
DB and funny. Then fucking the
Merv Griffin of the tonight show
you jackass. If you got on a
show, you might know there's some
nerves in it. Right, but I'm
saying not for him. He isn't
nervous at this point. You're
crazy. Mr. T. No, they're not.
They're not nerd. Do you think he's
nervous sitting there on a
couch next to Mr. T. The saw
and act right now? Do you you think he's nervous sitting there on a couch next to mr. T the soul and act right now?
Do you really think he's nervous?
Absolutely because you know why I'll tell you why he's going out there
With a person he doesn't know he doesn't know how he's how funny
He's gonna be and he's the reason why this clip is good is cuz mr. T if you keep watching it keeps fucking it up
You know he's got to go with this.
He doesn't know if he's fucking crazy or not.
He's come out with green sweatpants
and orange tube socks pulled up to his knees
with workboats.
You're right, you convince me.
Thanks, move on.
This is the magical.
A Lego, you know, is a non-medially insane.
I'm actually, there's always white man.
And honor with me and I must tell you
in Rocky III you were great.
Thank you, I gotta tell you,
with all the nonsense and all the jokes,
I wanna tell you from the bottom of my heart,
Merve Griffin told me he never liked you.
Oh!
Oh!
He's not funny.
He's not, I don't think, yeah, that's really funny.
But I don't think he's nervous.
That's not funny.
No, this is really funny.
I think he's, watch.
Watch.
Don't ring those, it's hilarious. Can we do it? Hold on. I love it, Bob, I is really funny. I think he's watch. Watch. Don't ring those, it's hilarious.
Can we just watch this?
Hold on.
I love it, Bob.
I want to watch this.
Can we just watch this afterwards?
This is not as funny as we could be right now.
Yeah, I don't care.
I don't care.
So shut your face.
We weren't saying Rickles wasn't funny.
Yeah, you are.
No, we weren't.
He said he's the 70.
That's who I said he wasn't top 15 for me. Top 50. He's not even the 15. No, not for me. I find other people funny here
Have you watched a Lenny Bruce special the one that he did in San Francisco? Have you watched that?
Yes, it doesn't age. Do was it hilarious? It's funny, but not as funny as Don Rickles
Don Rickles is the Rushmore of comedy prior
Karlin I would say Eddie Murphy,
but he stole all the stuff.
I would say Cosby, but he's a fucking rape
to a bunch of women.
Before.
And I would say fucking sorry.
I would say, I would say Don Rickles,
because you have to take, see what you guys do,
and this is, I'm gonna say this, shut up.
What you guys do is you take your brand that you like
and across the whole board.
When I say the Mount Rushmore of comedy, I'm taking different, all joke telling, story
telling dirty, a guy like Rickles.
It's, it's a mountain.
It's not the same guy.
It's not Mitch Hebberg and this guy, the same type of comedy.
It's, it's every type of comedy. The best at it. And he's the
best at that. Number one, he's a great top in salt rose. He's a great rose comic in
salt. Well, you got to include the best guy that reads emails off of a piece of paper
that include him. They include that best fucking nerd. But because I mean, you're saying
include every kind of comedy. Yeah, when I get a Brooklyn nerd, that's reading emails.
Yeah, in Carlin, when that,
Carlin went up and fuck, he's basically a fucking nerd
that went up there, highly intelligent guy
that went up there and told you,
you're gonna take a subject and flipped it
and twisted it with intelligence
and told you exactly what it was in a funny way.
You see, you left.
Mountain Mount Rushmore needs to have one representative
of each style of comedy.
Is that kind of your point that you're making?
I think that on a route, a Mount Rushmore that in my, in my Mount Rushmore, that you would
have, uh, the chocolate fountains pouring out of the mountain.
Well, what, what, what, what, what is, what is coming to cup?
I like Bobby's popo re of comedy.
I think, what are you gonna have?
We think a black comedy is gonna have all, there all these, no, of course.
They might, if this is the way you go,
and you're gonna say, who's your top four?
My top four, prior, Carlin,
Chappelle,
that's where it gets tricky.
That's my top three.
Who's your top four?
Trees, Italian, Chappelle,
Italian, Bill.
Yeah, it's all the same guy.
No, the same guy.
Trees, Italian, same style comedy,
Italian.
Basically a one-liner fucking
and the third else.
I'll take a tell out, but the Trees,
just the same thing.
Trees, stream of thought.
It was like, it wasn't jokes.
Bill Bartel's fucking long bits, long bits.
That's a stream of thought.
Trees was not stream of thought.
He was very methodical with his bits.
His bits with the same bits.
He was never fucking stream of
Nobody want those bits were they came from him fucking just improvising. I want I want Patrice bits
Going up he's talking about how he wrote oh what he did because what he did once he got the bit
I'm saying if you listen to Patrice's bits. They sound like he they really did come from him kind of ranting and finding the punches in those
Rants you know his writing process. Yeah, but when he came, when he was down, when he was headlining on the road, he would
fuck you.
The palm trees are not the same comics.
Neither is David tell, neither is, I mean, those are four very different comedians.
Bill, Bill and Patrice are probably the two closest and I don't think Bill and Patrice
were even close at all.
I think they're very close.
The style of comedy, they're coming, they're, they're, they're literally talking about
things that happen to them and
storytelling comics.
And they tell a story through actouts and voices and set up punch tags that are hidden.
Then you got a guy like a tell who is totally different.
I will tell is not a story teller.
You don't know when his stories are real or fake.
If he stuck something to his ass and fucked the engineer or just made it up because like
the words, you don't know. So I think those are all the fake. If he stuck something, his ass and fucked the engineer just made it up because like the words, you don't know.
So I think those are all the same.
What about you?
I would say this though, and we got this to that.
I think that Patrisso Neal could do what Don Rickles did
better than Don Rickles.
I've heard Patris do the crowd work.
It was amazing.
It's incredible.
They did bits as well.
I think you do crowd work, but I don't think you get away
with it on a grand scale.
This guy went up, first of all, went up in front of the, for the president of the United
States in front of everybody.
What's talking right left the world and annihilated.
He went up on the Oscars, annihil, award shows, annihilated.
He fucking trash Frank Sinatra to anyway, just annihilated them on these big venues on small venues.
But you show Neil got fucking written up for fucking with people that are a battered woman's
fucking different benefit.
You know, I mean, he's a different time, but he was still doing it now.
People want to beg his stuff.
He is like a grandfather clause then like he was like, but I or is it him or is it him?
Is it a
grand I don't think he gets away with that shit. He's a young comic now. He
doesn't go away with that shit now. Now he's just had an open mic in the
creek. Fucking saying mean things to people.
Labanelli did it. Back think I think Rickles is unbelievable
I think he's tremendous and a fucking national treasure. I just don't think he's tough three my top my top five
Would be prior
Karlin Cosby
Louis Woody Allen Woody Allen would not be on my rush because it's only four but he had to be you put Louis before Chappelle
Yes, I just go with who makes me laugh. I don't think it's only four, but he had to be you put Louis B for a shepal. Yes. I just go with who
makes me laugh. I don't think it's close. I call it doesn't make me laugh as hard as any of the
four guys that are just named. I don't know what else to say. Prior to making me laugh as hard as
any of those four guys that are just named. It's a time thing. You said it before as time goes on,
things become less funny. It's actually it compounds because people start being influenced by people
like Carlisle and prior and doing them and kind of doing their ideas over and over again.
So you go back and listen to Colin, it kind of sounds basic, even though it was way ahead
of his time.
It's just difficult.
It's not, if you don't, if you listen to a Carl and album that you've never heard before,
it's not going to be as funny as Dan Sotar's album or something like that.
I don't know, but I don't think, but I don't think, I think David Tell is funny or live
than he is on TV.
Oh, everyone's funny.
Everyone's funny or live.
I don't think, I think, no. I think prior on TV was hilarious.
Just to come.
Just to come on.
Yeah, live and concert on TV.
That's what I said TV.
I'm not saying.
You're saying funny or live than on TV, but I think that's everybody across the board.
The comedy.
I think capture what we're close.
I think some people aren't as funny on TV.
I think Patrice was funny your life.
If you listen to his Comedy Central hour and his tape from a club, his CD, the CD is way
funnier because I think he's being more Patrice.
And I think live rickals is, is funnier than as far as his album.
His album isn't good.
But if you went and saw him live,
you'd be like, that was the best show I've ever seen.
Dice, I went and saw Dice live in Vegas.
I was on the fucking floor.
I didn't think I was gonna like it.
It's having a heart attack.
They sent in.
Rickles on panel, unbelievable.
Right.
Are we not trying to make you sound like
some of this fucking podcast, what's going on?
Yeah, buddy, just because they don't,
what do you want to stuff, fake laugh?
No, you give me a dirty look every time I made a fucking joke so far.
I because they stink.
I want to be better.
I'm gonna be better.
Be better.
Do what you do.
I'm raising it up.
I'm trying to find it harder.
I'm wanting to be, look at I want you to just need to kiss and get all the second
attention.
I'm sorry.
This real stand, this real fucking moonlight vibe.
Hi Lauren. Hi, do you look
like can we talk about Lauren's tits or lips or a Chan or something? No man. I love that
he just went off on a tangent for 10 minutes and he was part of and we're all just listening
and then he's just like what can we move on to something? All right, let's get sexy. You
got to talk in 10 minutes. You know,
shit. And make jokes and you give me dirty looks every time because they Tink so say they stick Lewis mash. You're not playing the Bobby there's thousands of people listening a couple thousand listening to
2000
Yeah, it's got to be more than that. I know there is that was I was playing along with the joke. I know I was
Yes, and your joke as well. I didn't know I
Can I point out that we're off today?
We're not off we're having a fucking conversation, you fucking spick.
We are off.
Thank you.
There we needed it.
There we go.
There's no more.
What else does that make you feel?
What else?
What's up?
What do I eat?
What do my people probably eat?
Healthines.
This is the new guy.
What is like 50 nice face, new guy, fat guy.
Mixed with a white chin.
Come on, come on, come on.
Yeah.
That's the next female J-Leno over here
Yeah, I'm gonna try shouting it
I'm doing voices
I'm gonna quit
I thought you weren't about your thumbs up
I'm gonna get it, Bobby
We're back
But I mean Woody Allen created a style that still
There we go
Alright, so let's go on
See now you have fun, I was laughing.
You fucking monkey.
Just like a monkey.
I know it's string cheese.
That's what I was talking about.
What are the string cheese?
Because I'm a realist.
We asked him to bring a food that looks exactly like his dick.
But he's Puerto Rico.
We all know that.
I'm the first over here.
I should have said speak at the end of it.
I really haven't heard Joe listen like bomb.
A flat-up bomb.
Wow, I love.
That's a long time.
Thank you Lauren.
I appreciate that. No, if you love that probably wasn't a boss. Hey, no, it was out bomb. I love that. I love that. Thank you Lauren, I appreciate that.
No, if you love that probably wasn't a boss.
Hey, no, it was a bomb.
Okay.
It was a trust test.
It was a bomb.
First of all, you know, you're real ass podcast.
The beginning of it, the video you have with the snake that comes up, that's a cobra.
No, a rattlesnake.
I know.
You got to change that.
I was like, wow, that's a cobra.
I didn't, I didn't notice it until after I paid the guy and approved it all.
Then I was like, he instead of a rattlesn I didn't notice it until after I paid the guy and approved it all. Then I was like, he, instead of a rattlesnake,
a cobra comes up and goes,
ssss.
Please someone take the moniker and real ask cobra.
What?
Please someone.
Get real ask cobra right now.
Or the port, the Dominican cobra.
Ha, well, I don't,
but I'm saying they go,
how dumb can you be?
It's a, I'm like, wow, this is really cool.
This is exciting, right?
First thought, I was just like, dude, great job.
And now I feel like if I go back and say,
dude, I need a different anime.
Yeah, because rattlesnakes don't do that.
Rattlesnakes go, you have to have the tail.
What do they do?
What do they do?
What?
You ready?
I'm going to take it.
Can I hear your rattlesnake impression? Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I'm going to use one of those in bed. What? I'm going to use one of those in bed.
Yeah, that's why Don Rickles is in the top three.
You fucking hack.
I mean, you're really pushing Rickles.
Fuck off.
You're making me happy.
You're pushing it like you have money in the estate.
I'll tell you this.
Don Rickles to me and maybe it is age.
Maybe it is the type of.
He had AIDS?
No, age.
Turn your headphones up.
You're fucking mook.
I can't.
I think just to me, he makes me laugh.
Everything he was on.
When he, this is what, this is what this fucking generation
is missing, which we almost had with Tough Crowd
is we would fucking go on TV.
Rose Battle.
And fuck, no, Rose Battle's fucking stupid.
Okay, when it comes to this shit
Someone said it no, be are you are you all the way against it now?
Please it on that fucking tangent
Before we go down that cobra hole when he broke when he broke Johnny
When he broke that was so good. I'll take the bend in the back
when he broke that was so good I'll take the bend in the back. Oh, I've never seen a reverse then.
That was a reverse.
That was a good one.
That made me laugh.
I chuckled.
It's a thousand degrees in here.
Shut up.
Turn the AC on for fucking this weirdo.
When he was on there and he broke his ass tray and then Carson,
I was probably set up, went across the hall.
And I don't think it was. Went across the hall,
while there was filming a TV show,
said, stop, you broke my stupid fucking thing.
And he was like, he was really like, oh my God,
I can't believe it.
Then when he was leaving, he goes,
everybody, Johnny Carson, and he goes,
they know who I am, you moron.
Yeah, that's Carson me.
Nobody fucking does that anymore.
Who does that?
What comedians do that on TV? I do. It's a what do you mean?
You know, I said TV at the end of the sentence. Oh, yeah, I take a really a platform for that. I take a hard cast. What do you mean?
You take chances like he's trying to be a comedian? Yeah, it's a big shot.
What a real Hill Mary. I'm just saying I met that's doing that, and he did it great, he was hilarious.
He was actually a funny,
he's not even afraid now.
It's not even like the comedians.
It's the industry has beaten us down so much
that we are afraid to take any chances.
Like literally, I'm gonna red-eye,
which is a show that literally nobody watches, right?
Any more.
Well, no, it's officially canceled,
but I'm saying at the time that we watch jokes, stupid.
But I would, so I would make jokes that are like off color
and then they, you know, everyone's laughing,
but it's like, all right, we'll fucking let's run it back,
but they want to say so close to the time
the 42 minutes of taping that I'll get a little thing
in my ears, like, yeah, dude, don't make a joke like that again.
We have to edit that other thing out.
And it's like, instead of just saying, let's tape for an hour
and see what we come up with and find really funny,
interesting shit.
They're on a schedule, everything.
Yeah, but we're talking about, I I know you're talking about and that show.
I mean, I'm talking about comedy shows or late night shows. You can't do that across the board. It's the same exact thing. I'm saying
well, you've got small show. You can't even do it on but bigger shows it costs. But late night you can't do that on the
Tonight Show now is children's parties games with celebrities. That's why all the it sucks. But what the fuck is that the
Tonight Show blows. What I don't care like what happened?
Claire's at least trying
Fallon's like oh
Look you did a thing
You did it. I'm wearing a wig. I can't stop laughing
Is it like you wearing a wig? No, but they like it's always those videos of them
I'm sorry because they can't stop I'm bald them when I find out people who have wigs. I get very excited
Oh really? Yeah, like a benefit
I think he has a wig or a better flacked a flat
Flect bad a flat
Fleta
African African
What do you renunciation game is all?
That
I just did my joke that I just did
Yes, I do listen to you. I'm paying attention to Bobby
Could you
Maybe let's if Lewis wants to do all the rules jokes. Let's not stop him. Yeah, right?
Doesn't right let's encourage it for this and you just did a joke you fucking hack
No, you said the same words. Oh God. Well you guys fuck later. It's so hard
That's that no, I didn't dummy.
I actually said a whole different thing.
He said to the podcast.
What did you say?
I don't want to say it again,
because I feel bad with the very sensitive.
Just say it, just say it.
He's sensitive, but that's okay.
You're fucking sensitive, Bobby.
What? He said you were sensitive.
Not me.
Well, he's not sensitive.
You are.
I just agreed to it.
After the podcast.
I know you made it.
Same joke to joke, Joe's made it.
I'm sensitive.
When you guys are finished, Bobby's going to be like, Lauren, new scope upo can you give me and Lewis a second alone here listen shut the door behind you dude
here's the ice what did you do a talking I what did you show has anybody smashed new Scopo
yeah I don't know we did a three weeks ago what is he what are you in my face for Bobby what do you
mean shut up that's just where he come from Joe Joe what did you say guys I'm trying to get this
erotic fan fiction off.
Lewis wants to do other people's jokes.
Let's let him.
I said Lewis hasn't written a joke.
Two different jokes.
Dumb dumb.
That's why it's both on the fucking.
My mouth rushed more of jokes dude.
His two different types of jokes.
He has a different assent joke.
He has a different mouth.
It's the same joke, it's got on the same mountain.
His was a joke, mine was a fact.
Okay. What is not as attractive
Robert Dean think. Oh, real inside baseball. Yeah, I know. I know. I even get that one.
We really stepped on Dan's little thing. He was trying to pull it. You stepped all over
my erotic fan fiction. Can we start over? We start the whole show over. We can't keep
him starting over. Like the whole shot. Let's just edit it and we'll start over. We're
going to forget the high records. You just said that like you have such a fucking unhappy marriage.
We can't just start it over grey. We're in this together. Listen.
Donacles top three. If we might he's my top five. Top five.
Okay. Top five. We're swaying you.
No, top five. I top three you guys. I actually said top five. You guys made it.
Some of you said top three. I did. it someone Oh, I did I said top three. He said top three. You said top I did not he made it top three and then I went with top three
I said top five you did run the tape did say the words top three because he said it. Oh, he made it top three
Mushy fucking Mexican made it top three mum. She bears some fucking crush on her right now
You're gonna take it. Let me see you stomach. Let me see your fucking asshole
All right, I'm gonna show you guys all this erotic fan fiction is actually happening much faster
Have a pair of jaws of life on them. Oh
He's back toss it him out
Lewis is over here getting shreddo getting shreddo a mech salon now Lauren's I can't flirt with her anymore. Yeah. Why? We all know. I don't think Joe knows. Joe knows.
I know everything. We all know everything. Everyone knows everything.
We can't just a boyfriend now. There's that right? Wow. Wow. It's not a real
boy. Well, I take back the hair compliment. Look terrible. It's a real
gene. I don't know what he is. He's a boxcar child. Get out of here.
It's a real genius. I don't know what he is.
We have a boxcard child get out of here.
The Rose Battle stuff.
I read your tweet today.
What's wheat?
You had a tweet that saying that you fans are threatening people.
No, I had a tweet saying that a certain person involved in the story who
shall remain nameless is claiming that my fans are threatening.
What's happening?
That's something I'm going to do.
Welcome to Cobra Corner. We all just want to go. thought. Welcome to Cobra Corn.
We all just were like, I'm welcome to come.
It's so much fun.
Why did you get a Cobra?
You're the rattlesnake, you dumb person.
Why would you change it?
That's time for Cobra Corn.
With Lewis J. Gomez today's topic rose battle
Why would you immediately? My setman on the wife
Why would you look why wouldn't you change that immediately? Why wouldn't you know when you notice it to win?
Yes today, thanks by the way
What
Did you spare the microphone?
I mean that is fucking disgusting. Do that right now. I mean, that is fucking disgusting.
I mean, I really mean it.
I don't ever get such a smell.
Can I just say something?
No, no, no.
Put a new one on, because I guarantee it's him.
I guarantee it's him.
That would be great.
If that just would be what you start.
And put that on his and by the end of it stinks.
You know it's not.
That would be great.
Put it on his.
Put that on his.
You take it off. Give Louis that one and at the end we're gonna smell that
Yeah, put that one throw that one out and now at the end we're gonna do a fucking burn that one
Well, we're gonna have to thanks to your fucking dead tooth. No dude. I wouldn't you can't smell your own breath
I smell that person's breath. Okay, you can smell your own breath when you spit it on a microphone
It's good to me. I'm, well, so is the end.
We're gonna do a nice hot test at the end of the show.
Do you guys wanna get foot rubs after this next door?
God, I would love to, but I gotta say.
It's my favorite thing in the world now.
I got one last night.
Yeah, I got a foot rub.
I love it.
They're like 50 cents a minute.
What?
It's slavery.
It's unbelievable.
We're around the corner, right?
Right at these little Asian vessels.
Unbelievable.
I got one last night.
Where?
I got one, I got a pedicure.
I got my nails done. A lot of them? I got my feet scrubbed, and then I got one last night. I got one. I got a pedicure. I got my nail
on the corner. I got my feet scrubbed and then I got a cream put on my feet and socks brand new socks put on.
All right ladies, day out. I'm asking about around the corner.
No, I like one of my mother fucking feet. 50 cents a minute. You could do 20 minutes. That's 10 bucks.
Not a real price. Really? Yeah, it's 50 cents a minute. So I go one minute. I go, all right.
King King.
A couple of two quarters.
Two bucks.
I'm out.
Did you get like, you give her a specific,
you tell me again, you clean them first.
Like I make them clean my feet first.
Yeah.
Can I tell you something?
My dead toenail is from one of those places.
What happened?
They were cleaning them.
They spooky spell on it.
They cleaned it with dirty,
it was fucking.
Oh, me.
Your foot weird guy.
Bringing you closer to ground.
You act like a Buddha, Bringing you closer to ground.
You act like a Buddha, but you are not one.
Now you become a one.
Somehow turned into a job of the hut.
I just heard the run now.
Oh, Bobby Pinchet needs a run now.
I'm totally gonna get my foot rubbed.
Of course you are.
You're fucking.
I'm just playing a fast, yeah.
It's to the cost you more.
Yeah, that's a big one.
So I got Hobbit feet.
So what happened with your fans?
What's going on?
Why are you putting statements out not to kill people?
I said no, no, don't harass or threaten people.
All right, I'm gonna give you the quick version of this
because I've talked about it so much.
And you guys can hear the full version on the latest Real-Ass Podcast
available guest.
I'm going to show it.
The Dominican cobra, Louis Cobra Coddard, Louis Cobra, it's not Jay.
I can't believe none of his dumb fans even said.
No, somebody said. Some people were talking to me about it.
Dude.
The first guy that found that must,
it must have felt pretty good.
I literally watched it in the last night and I'm like,
that's a cobra.
So, every wound that I go, it's a,
it's not a rattlesnake.
I go, maybe he has a new show, the cobra's up to,
and it wasn't, it was like, the rattlesnake.
Sssss.
Well, it's just called real ass podcast.
You have to know that I'm the Puerto Rico Rada
in order for it to not mention.
Who doesn't know that?
Well, some people. Everybody. So, here's the deal, okay. Please tell us. I'm the Puerto Rico Rican order for it to not say who doesn't know that some people everybody yeah so here's the deal
okay please tell us I'm leaving the long story short okay I was producing the
Ross Master Show at the stand for a while I produce every I may do everything
I make no money on the show you know very little money I produce it book it
promote it do the graphics with my guys I the guest is a production can come
come in and do the video it's a lot of work for very little payoff.
I just really enjoyed doing it.
Did you get paid?
No, I got 50 bucks a show to host it.
Did you pay the people that came in and did all that work?
Yeah, I paid 75 bucks in my video guy and then 25 bucks to a girl that was helping me book it.
So I was losing 50 bucks a show every week.
Every week that was in the losing.
Really?
Yeah, losing the money.
So why would you do that?
Because I kind of liked it.
I think it's good for comedy too.
I think there's, I don't know, just people telling dirty jokes
and saying fucked up shit and a microphone
and people laughing at it.
I think that does a good thing for comedy
because we're kind of taught
we're not supposed to be doing that anymore.
We are heroes.
Yeah.
No, I believe that though.
So, so let's say, I'm going to say.
I'm going to say, guys, well, I just did
the number one port to the camera.
Brian Moses, Brian Moses and Jeff Ross sent three battlers out from LA to battle in New York
Did they pay for that? They paid for it
So me and my business partner rough saw it and Patrick from the stand said, you know
We want to reciprocate send three of our best battlers out to LA and go out there and battle and you know
Give the paper to the flights and for the flights hotels
No
Did they pay for the hotel? I don't think so if they did we'll pay for the hotels though
I don't want I just want I in my opinion I don't want to I want to have the best if I'm involved with something
I want it to be the best
Well, why wouldn't you pay for the hotels?
Cuz why don't you turn your mic off?
It's $1,500 for the fucking fights Bobby. That's why already we're spending a lot of money
Is it $1,500 to fly to LA?
$1,500 per person or $4,000? Is that a lot of money?
Yeah, per person?
$1,500?
The $5 a person, $5,500 I'm gonna hit you in the habit this fucking thing right now
No, it's not per person's $5 a piece. Yeah, so it's $500 for him $500 for Ralph
Yeah, it's a lot of money out of my pocket. Yeah, yeah, that's not that's not anything that I
I didn't know dude. I thought you were making millions with gas digital. I know you did
I know you know serious fucking asshole here. You want to hear the story or no? I don't
I want to hear I'm kidding. I was. I do I brought it up. So yes 500 dollars So we're sending these guys out there one of the girls that's involved with the roast battles or the roast masters
So let's flip it out about how she's not allowed to go and she starts trashing the one guy that we decided to bring
Same that he's not deserving the other girl in question who you know, I'm like I said my car man
These girls will remain nameless, but this is the girl that you know pretty well Bobby deep who
Well, sorry, what the fuck what just happened. Hey, how you doing? So what are you doing?
The fuck was that I don't know what happened, but
Possibly meant to mentally handicapped Indian man just walked in
He runs the sound at the village on the ground. I'm going to run everything. God, I hope you're hosting at the VU one
day and they just cut your mic off because of that comment. He's a guided member. So
good. So this girl starts flipping out publicly on Twitter, Trashing Mike Fini, who's the
guy that was invited to go out there, was a really funny comic. And then this other girl
chimed in and they started trashing this guy publicly. And then I go go I'm having DMs with this one girl and we're going back and forth
This girls do we know these girls you know these girls pop I do I spoke to you about this stuff playing playing
Yeah, you're playing Koi. Yeah, well if you're not gonna now some just announce them
I don't want to say the names cuz honestly
I don't really want people fucking with them and that's where we're at right now
Did you say their names and that's why they're fucking with them out of these people fuck get fucked with if you didn't say
They know their names because they publicly were tweeting at all of these guys
and let it be known who they were.
Okay.
So the one girl, Sartre,
sent me DMs being like,
I don't think it's fair that you would invite this guy
and I'm like, I don't fucking care what you think is fair.
I produced the show,
I put all the work into it
and it became this whole pissing contest.
We got on the phone,
then after I got on the phone with her,
she didn't say shit.
She was like, fuck an idiot on the phone.
Just not saying anything. Just being what, quiet. Just no going like, I'd love to talk to you, but you're,
you know, you're just kind of, you're being very mad and I can't really say anything to you.
I'm going like, I'm not really that mad. I was like, you're just trying to fucking be an asshole
and control the narrative and kind of control me. You said it on the phone the other night, Bobby.
She's telling me to shut the fuck up. She's going, when she's saying, you're being, you're being
aggressive, that's them going, shut up. I'm going to control this now. No, and I just, I'm not, don't,
please don't put words in my mouth.
That's exactly what you said.
Well, first of all, I said it to you, you fucking content.
What?
Well, we were talking on the phone.
I didn't say it to you on a podcast.
You fucking call, what I'm saying is that there are some,
when some, did not every woman that says a guy's being aggressive
is saying trying to control the narrative.
I'm saying something that's an error.
When somebody says you're being aggressive,
they're trying to get you to stop
doing whatever the fuck you're doing.
Now, if they know you, my point is you're an aggressive guy,
that's the way you talk.
I do the same shit.
When we talk, it's aggressive.
It's yelling, Dan Soda doesn't do that.
Dan Soda, if Dan Soda yells, he's being aggressive.
If Dan Soda's being aggressive, he's being aggressive.
Joe Liss is the sweetest little cupcake I know.
If he's screaming at you, he is.
If you scream at somebody, that's the way you talk.
That's the way you talk.
That's the way you talk.
Yeah, but the way now somebody might think this is a
exactly my point is that we which which I get but you if you know you if you even know me
Yeah, these bitches know me because I look at the point I've had these bitches know me and that's the point
So it's not like these aren't strangers that are going like oh, I don't know Lewis is a fucking loud
A bitch is get ready. Bitches bro
I don't know Lewis is a fucking loud bitch is get rich is bro
that's
knowledgeable they know who I am
bitches don't know things so don't play stupid if you know who the fuck you deal with me playing dumb
It's a cobra what happens when you run into cobra you see you get bitten
It's a spitting cobra so
So then this girl
After the phone with her goes around and starts calling Mike Lawrence and Brian Moses and all the people that are involved
with the Rose Managers and Rose Battle
and telling them that I got aggressive
with her on the phone.
So then as soon as I heard that, it was one second.
I was like, I quit the Rose Battle.
I quit.
I'm producing the show for these people
that are super appreciative.
Just fucking dogs, low life.
That's what they are.
Real deal, fucking low life dogs.
I don't want any other way to say it.
So this same girl after I put out a podcast.
I would say muted same.
No dogs.
That's a nice.
I know, but there's another one.
That's what they are.
So this girl, this girl, today does like a Russian insult.
You're a big dog.
I find you lower than low.
You are a big dog.
You do not even breathe some air is me.
You are a big.
Yeah, that's my water.
I just cracked out the refrigerator.
Give him that water please. So thank you very much. So then I was like, you're a peak. Yeah, that's my water. I just grabbed out the refrigerator. Did you give him that water, please?
So thank you very much.
So then I was like, you know, like fuck that.
So then this film today, she starts messaging people
that I know being like, I woke up to some really scary threats
from Lewis's fans today.
And I don't know how to deal with it.
And she's going around telling everybody this now.
Now my response to her, as I said, I heard you got some scary
threats. I was like, please send them to me my way right now. I will personally deal with as I said, I heard you got some scary threats.
I was like, please send them to me my way right now.
I will personally deal with it.
I'll personally reject anybody who's threatening you
and make sure that they are banned from anything that I'm involved with.
I will make sure that they cannot be guessed as a subscribers.
They can't come to Skankfest.
Any events that I produce, they're fucking blocked from everything on social media.
I don't fucking play with that.
I don't have my fans threatened people.
That being said, there are a thousand tickets now available to Skankfest.
But that's the truth.
I don't play that shit.
I said at the beginning of that video, hey, don't reach out to these girls.
Don't say anything to these girls.
This is the fucking story.
Okay.
I mean, look, I understand what you're saying, but you, you, I mean, look, you, it's a weird
thing to it because when somebody feels something, you know, if she's sitting
in now, she's waking up, feeling fucked up about this.
And then all of a sudden she goes to your Twitter and people are wishing to try to do it.
No nobody wished her threat.
Well, what was the threat?
Hold it.
No, she never sent me them.
This one said, I told her to send me them.
There's no threats.
That's actually the point.
This is what they do.
They go, I'm being threatened. Lauren, your friends with this girl, where are these threats? Can I see them? I would her to send me them. There's no threats. That's actually the point. This is what they do. They go, I'm being threatened.
More on your friends with this girl.
Where are these threats?
Can I see them?
I'd love to see these threats.
I don't want to get involved.
There's no fucking threats.
She's not getting involved because there's no fucking threats.
Okay, so this is what women do.
I know nothing about this.
They want to, I searched the name.
There was three tweets in her from three different people.
They said, you know, they're number three.
I'll look them up right now.
Just, what, you have a number number number.
I just want you to die.
That's a salutation in the government. I hope you don't have a Salutation in the go. I don't know. I want to fuck your
Conte. He goes, uh, that's a compliment. I'm gonna fuck you
to your funny. Yeah, let me see a threat. I mean, look,
dead. I mean, she's trying to get a dude removed from a
fucking gig. The fact that everyone in this room isn't going,
yeah, fuck that girl. She should be out. We're listening to
the story. But I what I don't understand is the show is for fun, right?
It's not a TV show, it's a fun show.
It's a gross panel.
That's a strange to me to be that upset about.
Well, here's the thing though, can I say one thing, if these guys are putting the money
up to send people and it's out of their pocket, there's no committee that you should have
to go through.
That's a real, everybody gets a trophy kind of attitude.
It's like, I think it is.
Did you send any women?
No.
We picked the best battleers.
They happen to be men.
What do you want me to say?
You're a rose battle rush.
You have every kind of battle.
We don't have blacks.
We don't have Puerto Ricans because the best rose battles
that were available at the time were fucking white dudes.
Patriarchy. Patriarchy. I'm not going. I I don't I don't I don't look at people's
race and go oh I'm giving only white guys opportunities I would love if a Puerto Rican
be a good roast battle or the horrific at writing jokes what am I supposed to say that's
very self aware this great Puerto Rican show me this great Puerto Rican joke right around there. I'm like, oh, that guy. He fuck John
Ligwiz, oh god damn it. I almost thought
No, I think that if look if you guys are paying for this and it's your dime and it's your idea
You get to pick whoever the fuck you want. There's no committee. You have to go through
I mean if it's people know if people are like it went to Jeff Ross and Brian Moses and tried to have this guy
Remove from something that they actually truly don't even have anything to do
with they actually went to try to have these guys this guy removed from a gig
that's a fact right it's a fact it's just a weird thing to undercut another
comic like that it's one thing to be upset about yeah not being selected I
understand the upset about not being selected but then to try to
actively but hold on with actively try to remove someone from a job is fucking petty
The one girl I ever try to get someone five we've all been a fucking victim of not being picked. Yeah, we've all had friends
I'm just fucking businesses this bit them. It's a business of nose. Yes, and then
And then
Put it on the record record. This motherfucker is a modern day, Don Rickle.
Lewis had the same joke.
I just beat him to it.
Oh, I see what we're doing doubled down on the old jokes today.
So I beat it to a small modern.
So we haven't changed Bobby.
Bobby.
So I hang on one second.
So they, so they, I, but he should be able to pick it with a fucking wants.
Yes.
I mean, that's it.
And we've all been at the point where, you know,
I don't think you're right.
And I look,
the years of auditioning for Montreal and not getting it,
I never once was like, fucking take that guy off it.
Why is he up there?
My numbing.
Yeah, it's my numbing.
But also, you know what it does?
It makes you fucking better,
and it makes you be able to take a fucking punch
and hear a couple of nose.
You gotta hear nose a lot in this fucking game.
My numbing. It hurts. Mine, no, it hurts.
I'm real sick of this culture of I deserve a yes
when you're not fucking.
But wait a minute, so go read these tweets.
How about I can't read these tweets without letting you know
it as I'll show you them though.
Just don't say the name, make up a name.
Fadiya, that's a good name.
Hey, I went by his house and I'll make it.
There's tweets haven't changed.
I don't even know who this is by the way.
These are the four tweets that could possibly have anything to do with that right?
These are the public tweets unless these are private messages here read a Bobby. Okay. Let me see
Maybe we should have someone other than Bobby why
Say it's not strong suit
You know if we wanted you to all right well the one I don't know the one I guess could be threatening
I don't know what it's in response and I read it because I'm a very sensitive dude. Yeah, I mean
As a sensitive guy. I just I've been I've literally had my my
My friend
I hand it out. I make Charmer look at this. This is what I don't like about any of this shit
Can I tell you I hate when
When people get their fans after other people mm-hmm, or when the fans take it upon themselves
to attack other comedians.
I just don't like it.
I don't really like it.
I've never tried to get my fans really.
One time I did it, not really.
It wasn't even my fans, it was Owen A's fans.
When the lady fucked me with the troops,
when I wanted to make a DVD for the troops,
she said, no, I don't support the war or the troops.
And I was like, go fuck yourself.
But as far as into the comic,
I only try to get people to go and support people.
I don't want my fans to not like people that I like
or that are friends of mine.
I don't want my fans to not like people that I don't like.
I don't give a shit.
I specifically tell my fans not to troll people.
I kind of feel bad about the whole guys
be fucked thing from back in the day because we kind of of we did kind of encourage them to be shitty to those girls
And yes, they were wrong. It's actually a similar thing both times here
These girls come out and they strike and they really cross the line and they they come and they punch you in the fucking face
Figuratively speaking and then you you strike back and then they go, but I'm a victim something aggressive
What are you doing? Your fans are saying me and things to me.
But the reason that we kind of get away with it.
We do that again in the mic.
Yeah, I like that though.
But do that again.
I really like the way you changed.
You changed in front of me.
Yeah, change in the mic.
You know what, dude, I think I'm gonna forget the point
that I'm fucking making, right?
All right, guys.
So when you want to be serious, let us know.
I'll let you know.
But I literally already forgot my point.
No, you were saying they come out and be funny.
We just show them the mouth and then you say they're victimized
Yeah, so then you hit them back and then they're going like oh my god
I'm the victim here and then it's you have to have this thing
We're like I'm not gonna just pretend that you didn't strike first. It's a Dave Smith
I was used as an allergy. It's great
But it's like when somebody's got a gun on you and they go give me your money and then they look up and you grab the gun
And they go oh, hey, no, I'm cool man. I got a job. I I got a kid I'm trying to like no mother fuck you trying to rob me with the gun
That's a great
What is that?
Cooper Cod Academy worst analogy
I thought it's good. You like that analogy. Thanks. Thanks.
Wow, of course I just feel like that probably doesn't happen all that ever. It's never happy
Who is this like no you know what happens when those seven guys surround you and you're like I'm not in the mood for this today
You know, as you were all their asses, when is anybody even grabbed a gun and went yeah, and they went whoa like a kid who
How often are trees falling in the forest by themselves either
The white male corporate billionaires trying to run our planet patriarchy. That was a smart analogy
Patriarchy that was a smart analogy
Listen for a sexy smart
These girls come out and fucking strike and then when I strike back
They act like I'm being a bully to them, but it's like I don't know what you want me to say Don't be a fucking asshole in the first place. I don't get I'm just treating you like I would treat
Don't get the grass if you don't want to get bit by a cobra
Look you got it. I mean to know you you have to know you used to love you. You're a fine not you
Well, everybody loves you. It's sickening. Yeah, but Lewis is it your cunt your pan the ash your aggressive
You're a fucking you're it's your way. I mean
Know that I create things because nobody's given me an opportunity
I create more I create opportunities myself. I don't let people. I don't let people.
I don't let people.
I don't let people.
I don't let people.
I don't let people.
I don't let people.
I don't let people.
I don't let people.
I don't let people.
I don't let people.
I don't let people.
I don't let people.
I don't let people.
I don't let people.
I don't let people.
I don't let people.
I don't let people.
I don't let people.
I don't let people.
I don't let people.
I don't let people. I don't let people. I don't let people. I don't let people. I don't let people. I said up a fucking joke and you step on it where you fucking stupid speeches, fucking idiot.
I'm saying that you're a fucking aggressive asshole
like me and sometimes people don't get that
because of where you come from.
You got a big heart, you're a fucking sweet guy,
you care about a lot of people
and you do a lot of things for a lot of assholes.
Right.
That don't give it, that you don't get back.
Right.
You ask two specific fucking dickheads that well fuck did not dick head
Yes, they are what what they are is that they're fucking different than you their dick head body up
I'm fucking remove a comic from a fucking dick. They went above my head to try to remove another comic
There it is there it is. Yeah, this is it is. I'm talking about it is right now
There it is there it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. Put your headphones on stupid.
Stop taking your headphones off like you're a fucking comment head.
They're not dickheads. They're not dickheads. They're not dickheads. They're not dickheads.
I think they're not dickheads. Over your head, not above your head. I don't know if that's the second.
No, they're not dickheads. No, they're not dickheads.
Defend your fucking jerk off fucking idiot friend. I can give a fuck last.
It's not a fucking hard, it's not.
I'm not seconding.
You're not defending her, you fucking idiot.
I'm saying what she, what are you leaving?
You're a fucking leave, pussy.
Why are you a fucking pussy?
Why are you leaving?
Fuck you, fuck you.
Why are you going like that?
Why would you leave?
Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
Are you fucking kidding me? Are you leave? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?
Are you fucking? You don't even let me finish the fucking point.
Sit down and let me finish the point.
Sit down and let me finish the point. Stop being a fucking baby.
You want me to fucking baby? Sit down.
Sit the fuck down. Sit down and shut the fuck up!
Take your bag off! Put your headphones on!
When I'm pissed off about something and then I'm literally saying these girls are doing something that's legitimately fucking wrong.
And then I call her a dickhead and you tell me to shut the fuck up and she's not a dickhead.
Because I'm in the middle of fucking saying something you cut me the fuck off!
Welcome to YKWD, Bobby!
Welcome to each shut the fuck up then!
My fucking
shot. Don't fucking leave shot. Are you fucking being a baby? Are you really being a fucking
pussy? Are you really being a fucking pussy? You're gonna put your bag on and why?
I would guess Bobby. Why? Why? Why? And I'm being too long in a scenario. Why? When you
know I'm right. Right you know when somebody when somebody
fuck on the when somebody when somebody and I said
you're fucking right dumb dumb.
I didn't I didn't say you were fucking right.
I said if somebody fucking when somebody does what they did to you
as far as her going behind your back, you don't pick the people
you want it to go and the story.
It's not a fit to be. It doesn't go up to commission. That's it. So when somebody
when somebody got to get their different. What the fuck all the when somebody
God did that. I'm under the line. If you did that then it would be fucking
everyone in the comedy community would go, Dan is a fucking and I said that when
you say when you fucking get comics against comics
Well, my point was and I was trying to make it what you stepped on when you get comics against fucking comics
You're it's fucked up when you try to get comics against other comics, right?
We should also be supporting each other
Listen what I'm saying to you what I'm saying to you is this ready I call them dickheads
Well, fuck yeah, but yeah, keep having this don't like don't do the side
Period listen dickhead move
But what I'm saying you've done dickhead moves
But you've done dickhead moves I'm not handling a fucking that's bullshit
That's bullshit what I'm saying is this is that these fucking people who did this should be fucking
Fucking scolded publicly told that they're wrong by the comedy community
Which we're fucking doing on my show was saying that but I'm saying that you're going fucking dickheads bitches
Cons whatever the fuck it is settle down just go you know these fucking assos they fucking they made this this person is
Is going behind my back fucking with me and doing the wrong thing.
They're going to people above me in the industry
and acting like I am being aggressive with them
or doing anything that anybody else in the world
that wouldn't do when people are acting like fucking dickheads.
And then while I'm talking about it,
you're going, they're not dickheads.
They're fucking, you know, they're just different than you.
That's crazy.
I think, I think that these, these,
I don't know the, I know one of them. I don't know who the other person talking about. Okay these I don't know the I know one of them I don't know who the other person you're talking about okay
I don't know the other person but I'm saying because we're not bringing up their names
But what I'm saying is is that one of them who did that if she came to me and said look
I'd be like you're fucking wrong. You shouldn't have done that you fucked up like he would do like he would do like anybody would do
Anybody would say you fucked up. You shouldn't. I would not.
You shouldn't.
But I am working on you.
You shouldn't.
You shouldn't fucking do that.
Okay.
What you do for that fucking show, okay?
And put your money out and then put these guys up
and send them out there in your own fucking dime
to be creative, to give other people a fucking shot
is a big thing.
To have somebody go behind your back
and fuck you is the wrong thing.
Am I gonna sit there and go, she's a fucking dickhead? No, she's an idiot. She made a...
I've done fucked up shit. I've made mistakes. I fucked up. I've went... I did shit on the fucking
Twitter. I fucked with people and said I've done stuff to you that I fucking regret.
But am I a fucking dickhead? No, I'm a fucking asshole that made mistakes and you've done shit too. We've all done it. Guess what?
That's my point is that I'm saying that you're saying like a dickhead, but you're saying this person hold on and the person the the person that I
An acted like a dickhead to
Called me a dickhead and then another mutual friend went oh
He's out of dickhead. He's just different than you buddy
You know many people if I said if I said?
Jerry Seinfeld's a fucking dickhead for what he did to me and Colin Quiggan know he's nice a really good guy
I'm not gonna go fuck you. You're a fucking idiot. You know what he did to me
He embarrassed me treating me like shit, right? He's a fuck. He's my friend. I didn't okay. He's your friend
I'm not gonna sit there and fucking snap on him
I've had you fucking snap on me, Bobby
You told me to shut the fuck up. Do you understand what it does to me?
When somebody helps me to shut the fuck up? Yeah, apparently I fucking do you put your bag on him right out of the fucking room
So don't punch when you're fucking hurt. What the fuck is putting you to see your physically violent with fucking your friends now?
You're a fucking idiot. I'm really? That's what you do.
Fuck face.
Are you fucking nuts?
You literally have thrown stuff at me.
You have literally been physically violent in moments of anger with me.
So stop fucking acting like you're fucking above that.
You psychopath.
Are you the same fucking guy?
We're both the same.
Okay, but you're gonna get up and leave.
Yeah, because you're acting like you're a fucking asshole.
You're trying to shut the fuck up.
You're an asshole.
I'm trying to make you fucking sentence.
And then on top of all of it going, well no, they're not dickheads. They're trying to shut the fuck up. You're an asshole. I'm trying to make you fucking sentence. And then on top of all of it going,
well no, they're not dickheads.
They're just different than you.
Listen.
They committed comedy,
they did something that's unfuckin' forgivable.
It should be something that you should call this girl
and say, we never fucking said that.
And I fucking said that.
I said that to you.
I said that what they did was wrong.
But what I'm saying is,
everybody's fucking done fucking dumb shit.
Everybody does dumb shit. I have herpes. I fucked her. Who was herpes?
No, I don't pay the fucking consequence for that right and she never done anything fuckers
Can I just say to both you guys are agreeing so much. It's crazy. It's too fucking numbsco
You guys are just
Loud noise
I'm like it and I'm like
It's weird how it goes up and down
It goes up and down
It goes up and down
I know it did
But he told me to shut the fuck up
He told me to shut the fuck up
Four times in the last year
He told me to shut the fuck up
That's not helping
That's not helping
All right
I'm saying shut the fuck up to me
I'm sincerely concerned about your health right now
Both of you guys
I think I should keep my hands a little bit What the fuck Get up and leave Guys I sincerely concerned about your health right now. Yeah, I'm not you guys
What the fuck Guys push the microwave you fuck do it you know, and I got spun like when Jimmy Martinez put out on Kevin
Fucking leave the fuck with that shows me. Oh, yeah, are you fucking?
I don't know
I don't know just you know just you know and scream and do what you do you don't get a put your bag on I was going to fucking hit you really is that we're gonna fuck you down
I'm fucking fellin doing fuck off for screaming. I mean you've done the same shit to me
I'm not like that. Are you not like that show me the tape find it find me the table
I told you shut the fuck up cuz you're the middle of something that I say shut the fuck up
I'm fucking even the tape from 10 minutes ago
Yeah 10 minutes ago? Yeah, 10 minutes ago, right?
Yeah, I think you guys are great.
And what Bobby is saying is,
he's friends with one of these people.
She's a good person.
But you know what you're saying?
I mean, I don't know where that went.
But I think she's a nice person.
She did a dickhead thing,
and this is what you said.
And you even said it.
There's a difference between dickhead and dickhead move.
Yes, that's my dickhead move.
I don't know where that went.
That's my dickhead move.
You're a dickhead thing, and now she's continuously.
That's my point, but wait a second. that was. That's my point. That's my point. You have to dig a thing and now she's continuously. That's my point.
But wait a second.
You're telling me, you're saying to me,
I have to say fuck her dickhead.
You're a piece of shit.
I don't have to tell me that she's not a dickhead.
She, no, I'm not being passionate.
I'm not saying, she's not a dickhead.
She did a dickhead thing.
She has a dickhead.
She did a dickhead thing.
She did a dickhead thing.
Bobby, that's my point.
That's exactly my point.
My client this morning and was telling me that I'm rallying my fans to be
aggressive and threaten her. She didn't answer my response when I said, Hey, if people
are being threatening towards you, please send me those messages because I want to take
care of that. That's the problem. That's the problem. That right here is the problem.
What's the problem? That he has tried several times to stop or at least sued the rift and be like, hey, listen, this is
the problem.
Send me the text, send me the threats.
I'm going to do something about it.
Lewis has been, yes.
Hold on.
Lewis has been active of trying to solve the problem.
And yet she still goes to other comics and goes, he's aggressive while not answering.
That's childish.
That's immature.
And that's not solving the fucking problem.
That's being a fucking dickhead.
Okay, Bobby.
So add that to the mix right now.
Yes.
Yes, absolutely.
That's okay.
That's okay.
But what she did, okay, is pretty much par for course in this business.
People do, I don't know about people.
Stop, stop.
People do fucked up shit like that.
Yes.
Now, I've done stupid shit.
I've said dumb things.
And people, if you get called out for that and you like fuck you
and you change and you're not the same fucking person and you learn from that mistake
and then five years from now, three years from now, you two are sitting there going fuck
remember that time we got another fight?
That's one thing for what now if it continues, okay, because I know you and whoever knows
you knows how you are.
But even this shit you're doing right now, me and you you are doing that's what we do. That's what we do
I don't I'm not gonna sit here and go fucking Lewis piece of shit
No, I'm fine. We're good. We'll do I mean look. I understand it. I get it. I'm more comfortable doing that
then
Have a regular conversation, but I'd rather fight. I didn't do that with her.
That's my point.
Hold on, I just want to, I just want to,
I just want to fight.
I hate cycle of YouTube, yo.
One second, go to the hardware store,
get a metal pipe, whatever size.
Listen to me, get a metal pipe.
I just need one.
You have to fight, you're going to end it
the way you want it.
You put it right in the middle.
I'm going to get it right here.
I'm going to hide it right here. I'm gonna hide it right here
I'm gonna fake it as a leg and I'm gonna go come on and you're gonna come and I'm gonna fucking crack you right over your monkey head
So no let me let me point I wasn't that with her right?
I have this all this the whole the DM exchange and I'll show you the whole DM exchange between me and this girl before
Listen this is okay, but okay before we go wrong. You understand that I understand it's wrong
Well, this whole thing is fucking wrong.
God, make you fucking point.
Before I even got on the phone with her,
before I got on the phone with her, right?
Because I was trying to explain her,
and I'll show you this entire conversation.
This is not an aggressive conversation in DM.
Before I got on the phone with her,
one of the things that she said was,
literally, there's no, there's nothing in cursing,
there's nothing in me being aggressive.
I'm just saying, hey, this is why,
like your opinion on this matter doesn't really mean much
to me.
I put a lot of time into this.
She goes, totally understand.
I hope you have a good day, Lewis.
Your anger truly terrifies me.
This is like, this is DMs.
We haven't spoken.
We haven't spoken about this.
These are DMs.
I'll let you guys all read the,
every word of this conversation.
I read it.
By all means, okay, I read it.
The last thing she says, your anger,
so she was going into this whole scenario knowing that she's gonna
go Lewis is an angry guy and I'm gonna pretend that this is this thing.
Well can I just say something you didn't prove wrong on this fucking episode?
You got me going.
No.
I'm a close friend of you.
I'm afraid of your energy.
How the f-
People should- I gotta be honest with you.
I'm not a nice guy.
In what world are we pretending that I'm a nice guy?
But you claim to be a nice guy.
You help them. You're doing all this for all these people. I do nice battle
Let me take some I don't do it for thank you. So I'm not doing too nice. It's a fucking business
Okay, a byproduct of my business, but you lose money
You set yourself you lose money to give people opportunity for roast back. It's good for comedy job
That's not true. I I run businesses and a byproduct of those businesses or I happen to do a lot of really good things like
Skankfest and Gas Digital for my
Comedian friends.
Ro Spaddle specifically, I set it up in a way
where I really enjoyed doing it.
The benefit that I got out of it was
enjoying doing it.
It wasn't money, it wasn't this other big benefit
where I was just going like,
oh, I'm helping all my Comedian friends.
I know, I liked it.
It wasn't this big crazy thing.
They read more benefits from it than me.
So that's what I'm talking about,
guys.
I don't do anything selflessly. I run gas digital. It's a money making endeavor
I run skankfest is a money making endeavor
But one of the the pillars of my philosophy is that I don't fuck comics over. We get paid thanks for
Yes, yeah, everyone gets paid for skankfest. That's the point. There's no submission. Can I tell you this?
He took too long you show I want to tell you this.
This is really important.
I'm gonna be it's I'm gonna be it's standup live in Phoenix.
Wow.
Yeah.
Cool.
This Thursday, the 20th to the 22nd.
This is actually one of my favorite clubs.
Have you ever played there?
No.
You know, it played Phoenix.
No.
You did love you out of Phoenix.
How the motherfuck is just like you out there? I don't know, Phoenix? No. You did love you out of Phoenix. A lot of motherfuckers just like you out of Phoenix.
I don't know, dude.
No, they would like him in Phoenix.
Well, I will.
Well, Dan, Dan finished reading?
Wait, wait, Dan.
Yeah.
Well, I want Dan to be in Phoenix.
Dan, Dan, before you get into the head though, Phoenix is great.
I'm gonna, I'm serious.
He's standuplive.com.
If you want to get tickets, you can go there.
You want a middle for me there?
Sure. Huh? Nah, I can't, but you're too aggressive. You're bringing the other girl. You're go there. Um, you know, want a middle for me there? Sure.
Huh?
I can't, but you two aggressors.
You're bringing the other girl.
You two, you two.
How fucking, how great would have I brought her?
Oh my god.
You have to run to the material after you.
Oh, hey.
Um, sort of roast battling, fucking audience members.
Uh, anyways, yeah, standuplive.com.
There you go.
Go there.
You fucking, your live read style plug for your show you make me sick
Well, listen the thing is what Liz it won't wait you know, it's a money-making endeavor. I mean this is a money
I don't do this for fucking friendship. What are you doing your hungry though? Huh? What are you doing your hungry?
Well, I'm hungry. Yeah, I go I got a blue apron.com. Oh, do you?
Body, sweat, I got.
I love blue apron too.
You know why?
Blue apron, it's fresh.
Maybe you should, do you ever read this?
Of course, by the way, I legitimately use blue apron.
I do choose the sponsor.
I do a lot of my shows.
Yep.
Here's the deal.
Let me explain you about blue apron.
Guys, guys like us.
Read it out, though, because my copy's way different than yours.
Can I be a guy's like us?
You can be a guy like us.
Try to know about it. Let me explain you something, okay? Is it? The deal with blue apron, it's a- Guys like us read it out though because my my copy is way different than you guys like you can be a guy like I'm explaining something
okay. The deal with blu-pup it's a can I just say one thing before you
get into this how much I fucking.
Low of Lauren right now.
Why?
Doing double sided.
I had to we were running out of ink.
It was a lot of.
Running out of ink.
It's running out of paper when you do double sided.
Not ink dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.
The printer did it on its own.
I mean, am I fucking, am I wrong?
I didn't even think about that.
I was like, I'll put you in, I shoulda get a real bottle.
But I made no sense.
No sense.
The printer was running on ink, so it...
Running on ink?
That's what printed.
Running low?
Yeah, but running low is two pieces of paper still.
It takes the same amount of ink.
I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I flipped it on,
anyway, keep going. Okay, so here's you know, okay. I love where it put what Blu-Aprin does is it is a recipe delivery service
Okay, basically pick out your recipe. We friends again. We're friends again
You pick out your recipe
They it shows up in a refrigerated box at your door if you want to get some badge if you want to hook up with a check
Whoa, wait a minute, wait, this is not leading us gang. Wait, this is not legit. It's gay. They like that.
No, buddy, this is family.
No, we do the family one, but the kid.
If you get kids, want to get some badge.
I don't know.
No, no, no, no, no, give it here.
Give it the food.
Listen, I'll tell you why blue apron is good.
For single comics, or if you have a family,
the food is amazing.
Yeah, it's fresh.
They all, they work with all the farmers.
You know where your food's coming from.
Yes.
And they make it easy.
I can't cook.
So what they do is they give you giant pictures like a child could read these.
Yes.
Everything is pre-measured out.
You're not going to go buy a $12 jar of paprika.
It's affordable.
It's $10 per person per meal.
Less than $10 per meal.
Yeah.
Less.
Okay.
And the food, variety of new recipes each week, They never repeat a recipe within the year, okay?
And flexible.
You know what I'm saying?
You get it when you want it.
Based on your preferences,
Blue Apron has several different delivery options
to choose from.
And there's no weekly commitment.
So you get deliveries when you want them.
That's the best.
It's not you get to sign up for six months.
And then if you don't like it, you're all Jesus.
So here's the best thing for me when I have a date.
I'm like, I gotta check coming over on Friday.
So we're gonna be with you for a meal.
I look like the man or my kid.
You know that you got a wife,
but let's say your wife's had a town to do something.
You want Max to see.
Where's that whore?
What the hell are you doing?
What is that whore doing?
I'm just having some dudes.
What dude?
I'm taking it going out.
So she's out on the town.
You don't want to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
for Max because you're a dude, you're a dad.
You don't really know how to cook like that.
So now you can make some sort of cream.
Let's cook it with the kid, man.
It's unbelievable, it's a bond, it's the whole thing.
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With free shipping going to blue apron dot com slash dude slash dude use dude at the
Slash dude blue apron dot com slash dude. You'll know you'll love how I don't have my glad
I can't read anymore is that weird that I can't see anymore? I love how good it feels.
How good it feels.
How good it feels.
Okay, so you can't rush.
I should it feels.
Blue apron, a better way to cook.
It really is.
BlueAprin.com slash dude, you're first.
Wait, can I, can I,
three meals around me?
Yeah.
Okay, the first upcoming meal.
Yeah.
Spinach, fresh mozzarella sauce.
I love mozzarella.
With olives, bell peppers, and we're good.
That sounds good. We're good. We're good. We're good, sir. Yeah, that's how let's
Let's go to all right. Let's get back into this
Oh
Bobby did that before there was a thing we do April fools. We just it's an act we do want to
Wabi now it's not listen this is but this is why I this is why I fucking care about
you and this is why I get mad at you when you get angry and you start calling
people twats and cons and bitches I'm using or I've been very
And what ever whatever you know I'm saying get angry and you start calling people twats and cons and bitches. I'm used to work on I've been very and
conscious about what ever whatever you know what I'm saying because
me and you the certain guys that just float through this business
and and they stay but nothing nothing ever happened.
No, without a different word told you were trying to conjunct you
with you being like you just a your your personality is different.
That's all you're a I love you. I I love it. I think I think I got some issues here. I got some issues too
Well, first of all, yeah, she had three times in this feed you writing you're showing my message to people behind my back
No, that's why I'm doing it because you showed it. She showed this this exact message to all the
founders no
I'm not showing messages and now you've handed the phone to me, Bobby and Dan.
Doing it on camera because she showed my messages
to all the roast battleers to try to rally them against me.
But you can see how that's your man at something.
So you're doing the thing right back to the person.
I'm not legitimately mad at that.
I'm now I'm doing that as in I don't.
Okay, what's your other thing?
That's another thing.
Bobby, let me says, I don't get that finger out.
I don't ever, I'm gonna go. Good. Here's this. I don't get that finger out. I don't ever face ever.
I'm gonna go.
Go ahead.
Here's my, I don't actually give a shit that she showed people the messages.
There's nothing to hide in these messages.
That's why I'm showing you guys.
But you're making it clear that you were angry with her.
Joe, can I finish the fucking point that I'm making?
It's that, I thought we were having a private conversation between me and her.
When she made it apparent that we weren't having a private conversation
And she was forwarding the messages to all the roast battleers and trying to rally people against me
We stopped having a private conversation. So that's why I feel justified and showing these to you guys right now
Gotcha, okay, so does that make sense? Yeah, but she also asked several times to speak to you about it
And you kept being like I'm not gonna speak to you because there's nothing to do with you
Why would I speak to you about who I'm booking for roast battle?
being like I'm not going to speak to you because there's nothing to do with you. Why would I speak to you about who I'm booking for Rose Battle?
But what if she's what if her concern is that you know Mike Feney's a rapist or her mother's
dying and needs to go to LA to visit her?
I don't care.
I gotta be honest with you.
I have to be honest with you.
I don't I don't care what her concern was with why Mike Feney shouldn't be the guy.
All I saw was she's trying to take a person that got an opportunity out of it when it has nothing to do with her.
It's not only Comedy Central gave us money or Jeff Ross gave me money to fly people
out and make the decision.
No, because they'd have a hotel room if they did.
Fucking cheap.
What guys are on a park bench in front of a comedy store?
Yeah.
Just want to warm up by the rose.
Can we stay out front?
So we hang in the belly room.
I said, and by the way, I did end up speaking to her eventually.
Okay.
But I said, no, there's nothing to really talk about. I don't really understand what conversation we're in the belly. And by the way, I did end up speaking to her eventually. Okay. But I said, no, there's nothing to really talk about.
I don't really understand what conversation we're going to have.
It was, there's an open micer saying, we need to talk about this thing that you put all
of your time into.
There hasn't been a single time where she's coming to me in the past two years saying, hey,
I want to help you with this.
And I want to, you know, assist you in making the show better.
She just reaps the benefits.
She just gets the TV credit because of it.
And then when her friend doesn't get her way, now she wants to speak to me about who we're bringing out to LA, that's kind of crazy.
So that's what I was thinking.
Oh, I don't want to talk to you.
But what if it was, what if you did this
of playing devil's advocate now?
This isn't because she's a friend of mine, all right?
Because you're a friend of mine too.
I'm just playing devil's advocate.
What if you call her and say, what's up?
What do you want to talk about?
After this?
Yeah.
And what she said. She said, I'd love to speak to you, but you're just very,
I could tell you're very angry. And I was like, well, no, I'm telling you just
what's going on. I was like, what's your, what's your perspective here?
I was like, what do you want me to do here? Will you mad at her?
For even questioning you? I didn't quite, I had an, um, I didn't quit the
roast masters yet. My reaction reaction all this was like quit.
I was like, oh, well, fuck this.
I'm not gonna work for you guys
and let you reap the benefits of this thing
that has very little payoff for me.
It's just like it, right?
So I didn't wanna, that's why I said,
I'm gonna fucking just remove myself from the scenario.
I got angry after I removed myself,
for her to go, or I'm sorry, I got angry
and removed myself after she called people,
telling her that I was aggressive with her on the phone. Which is, it's just, I don't agree with, I don't agree with, I don't, I got angry and removed myself after she called people telling her that I was aggressive with her on the phone.
Right.
Which I don't agree with.
I don't agree with.
I don't know if someone's, look it, you are an aggressive guy, but that's you.
Show me one minute where I've ever been aggressive in my life.
Play the last 20 minutes back of this list.
The entire existence.
Yeah, you're like if the big bang just stayed a bang.
It just didn't cool.
I'll take that.
Wow.
That sucks so bad. I don't even want to give you
I don't even know if I want to set it on fire
Oh, if the big I don't know I was trying to fucking pull it out of you guys got the obserious dick rub obsession
Oh now you get why do you get aggressive with me fuck face?
I'm not gonna walk out on you. Don't fucking change the subject that joke was
That was a bad one that might be my worst one. Oh my god
That was bad
If you don't fuck it. Did you time that do you know what that is?
Did you do what I told you to do? Oh, she didn't that's
What time do we start let me put this back on?
330 on the dot what time is it right now? I love you. Listen, is it five?
Yeah.
Shit, that went by quick.
No, another hour.
Pop, it's a three hour show we do.
It's why can't it be a day?
Yeah, trust me, I need more time on the clock after that.
Yeah, okay, you need like 10 more.
But my room, you need like a three-throw.
You need to hit 10 in the room, you're gonna go back.
This is your problem with you.
This is why I get mad at you, okay?
Because we're gonna do two more hours if you're gonna do this.
No, because when I say, and I told you this on the phone,
what's good for me is good.
What's good for you is good.
There's people that you don't like that.
I don't like that you like it.
I'm like, whatever, I have to deal with that.
There's people that I like, which this person I like,
what she did to you, I don't agree with.
I think it was fucked up.
You don't go behind somebody's back.
It has nothing to do with anybody.
It's your deal.
You're paying for it. You're making the decisions. Now to go behind somebody's back. It has nothing to do with anybody. It's your deal. You're paying for it.
You're making the decisions.
Now to go say somebody's being a good off your phone,
fuckface.
So I'm just making sure my fucking kids alive, please.
Oh, please, I have a kid too.
I can do the same fucking thing.
Two.
Who's what you should?
What's wrong with your kid?
Who's what you kid?
Here's where the fucking baby's in the room.
Is he the shock tank?
Are they visiting the polar bears?
Here's the baby's there.
I just checked my phone once in a while.
Let me show you everything.
Listen, I'm saying to you is this,
is that you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you really isn't. When you say, when she's saying you're being... No, it's affecting me.
But when she's saying you're being aggressive, right?
When you go on behind your back,
telling people you're being aggressive.
Did you call up Jeff?
Did you call these people out?
Like all the brine, I call it Mike.
I just want to everybody.
Here's a vote.
What did they say?
What did they say?
They go, yeah, we know who you are, dude.
Don't worry.
Okay, but hold on, that's not my point, though, okay?
Robert, when people...
Robert?
No, no, no. The other way, the other way. That's not my point though, okay Robert when people
By the way this bandanna barely fits around my head. Who the fuck, who the fuck?
What?
Robert.
Oh my god.
It just came out.
I really didn't even do it on purpose.
I don't even know how he was filming it.
I kinda liked it.
I almost died.
What was I saying?
I don't know.
I'm fucking fucked up now.
What I'm saying is, Lou, me and you guys are like, I remember.
Oh, yes.
I'm like, I remember.
But I've done a lot of shit like you're doing, and I told you this on the phone.
I said, I've done shit like this, and it's fucking affected me for years.
I haven't done, here's the thing, Bobby, you legitimately did something wrong, and you
admitted that.
I didn't.
You tried to shout, you tried to shout.
No, no, no, no, no, stop.
I didn't.
What I did was, is I just told the truth.
Told the story so people have contacts. Okay. I did last, as I just told the truth, told the stories of people of context.
Okay.
I did a last-comic standing,
and the two hosts, the two guys that were doing it,
whatever, I did this stuff,
and then I went over to a cringe humor at the time,
and I talked to them,
and I just was like,
I knew it was a scam.
It was a produced show,
and look, it does nothing wrong with that.
You know, if you think you're going to last comic standing
and they're picking the funniest guys,
they're ca-
You're hitting it, yeah.
It's a casting call, of course.
I had taken my camera along back when cameras first went,
like the video first went on a camera,
I had this little thin camera.
And I videotape the guy on my night, like who won?
This black dude I never met.
And I'm like, who, who are you? They were like, you know, whatever his I never met and I'm like, who are you?
They were like, you know, whatever his name was.
And I was like, I don't even know this fucking guy.
How is he winning?
And then they took me a video of me listening
to the directions of what we were gonna be doing.
They were taping us.
They took that and put it with a soundbed of,
dun dun, when they were like, all right, the next comedian.
And I'm like, like looking like who is it?
And I wasn't.
I was like, I was smiling, video tape.
And I was like, I told that story in bubble.
And then somebody, I don't know what happened,
but somebody had taken it like, these guys are fucking assholes
and blah, and this is bullshit and it's all,
they took what my experience added me into the fucking thing
and then wrote some fucked up shit.
It was Christmas where they made a blog.
Right, and then the two guys who booked the tonight show read this saw my name.
It looked like I wrote it.
All right, and I didn't.
I never said anything to them.
I know I really was just the blackness of your first.
I actually black guy on the show Bill Cosby.
Oh yeah.
Well, I showed up at the thing around six years later,
whatever, and they were like,
why would you do that?
We really liked you.
Why would you say those things?
I was like, I don't know what you're talking about.
I didn't even know about it.
They will mad at me for like years,
and they booked the tonight show,
and I never said it.
But, hold on, you did sort of,
you said you should try to,
I tried to show.
Right, but not that, I didn't do that. Right, here's the thing, you did sort of, you said, I trashed the show. But not bad.
I didn't do that.
Here's the thing, I didn't publicly
on the forum go on and trash a show
or some a producer and then if I didn't get booked
on something from that producer,
I would go, oh, it makes sense.
I get what happened there.
I was flying a roast battle around
for the sake of flying it out.
And then these girls, they're a hissy fit publicly,
trashed me publicly.
Went behind all the other roast battles, right?
They'd get them against me publicly
and behind my back.
And then I said, all right,
well I'm removing myself from this show,
this is kind of crazy.
And then the girl is making up that I'm being aggressive
with her to all these other people on my back.
And then at the end of it, after I talk about it
and saying, hey, this was what was really happening
and her aggressive point didn't work,
then it becomes now my fans are giving her threats.
And then I say, well show me these threats, give me these threats. I will I promise you Bobby
You know me dude if you if there's a single person threatening somebody that I
I'm afraid you're trying me you never defend me. I was just saying that to be right, but I if somebody
I don't give a fuck if it's a comic that I don't like if somebody that I hate if one of my fans are threatening them
They're fucking out period. I don't think at your fans will say mean shit, but not
that they will not. They're not a fan of mine. They're not a
fan of mine for threatening people. Period. Okay. So the point
is I said, please send me any threat that you've gotten. I
promise you I'll take care of it. I publicly posted that as
well. The reason I did that. Dan, what are you doing? I'm
listening to Lewis is in throwing. And Ben, huh? Bro, a
bomb like that. I got to wear this one.
Okay.
But they submit my machines continuously kind of keeping it going.
And to be honest with you, it's like, I'm literally just doing the correct move every
time, which is like, okay, I'll publicly denounce that.
I'll publicly say that that's not the way I want things to be.
I literally don't want people to go in her ass time and threaten them.
I kind of did.
I got wet.
What I got out of it.
Let them fucking, you know, let them go pick up the pieces,
do it yourself, I don't give a shit.
Yeah, oh look man, I just, I know that you flip out
and you snap and I know that you're aggressive.
What are the problems that you have with those sex messages?
Exchange of seconds.
I was just asking, I was just asking when she said,
she kept asking to talk to you and you just kept refusing it.
That's why I was wondering.
And I eventually did talk to her, but I said to her,
I was like, this is what I said, I was like,
I have two minutes to talk right now, can you talk for two minutes? She's like, Lewis, that's why I was wondering. And I eventually did talk to her, but I said to her, I was like, this is what I said, I was like, I have two minutes to talk right now.
Can you talk for two minutes?
She's like, Lewis, I deserve more than two minutes.
And that was just, I literally started laughing out loud
to myself, I was like,
in what world does she think that she deserves
more than two of my minutes in the world?
But you've done the same shit to me.
No, I have.
But in her world, you understand.
You've done, in her world, she thinks that she does, not in your world, but in her world, you understand. In her world, she thinks that she does,
not in your world, but in her world,
she's like, why wouldn't you give me two minutes?
So what?
Is she wrong or you're wrong?
Who the fuck's wrong?
I mean, in your world, what the fuck are you?
Now, who are you?
In her world, I'm me.
Like you, in your world, you think you're,
you deserve fucking everything.
Bro, we're all means.
You do the same thing.
You do the same thing.
I understand what you're saying.
I do.
Like by reading that, if I was having that exchange with you,
I would feel like you were being aggressive too.
Because you say you sound like...
You even say yourself, you're an aggressive guy.
Yeah.
So she's not used to dealing with you.
She is a woman who they're not as fucking...
BAM! ...men are typically anyways. So it might be coming off to dealing with you. She is a woman who they're not as fucking
Men are typically anyways, so it might be coming off to her as angry I don't think that she had this through line all the way through. I'm gonna accuse Lewis of being angry
I think that she's actually having that exchange going can we talk and you're writing no
Your anger
Frightens me. Yeah, I said to you a lot to you a lot. And you said it should make you nervous.
It should make you nervous, because you're a man.
But you can't cross me.
Because if this was you, I'd break your fucking fingers.
But you can't.
That's what it is.
What a pain to you.
You're a man.
I would snap as long as I'm fine.
But not in people.
Come here.
Get to your fingers.
One, two, three.
Oh, no.
The thing that is coming off.
Lewis, you're going to wind up hitting somebody and hurting somebody someday.
You're gonna regret it.
When's the last time I hit somebody, Bobby?
I'm telling you.
But here's the thing, you're a danger.
You're a danger.
But it doesn't matter.
You're pumping yourself up with these people that don't matter and the thing you don't
matter, that this right here might not happen to her, but the next motherfucker that crosses
you is Mike Gettit and then you're in trouble.
That's what happens when you're last one.
When I met you, you were fucking shirtless,
going home to beat the fuck outta your roommate.
And I was like, dude, don't.
Because I've been there.
Spent the weekend in jail that weekend.
And you didn't listen to me that.
I put that I look with my shirt on at that time.
You weren't you a fat at that time.
No, I wasn't.
I was shredded at that time.
I'm a different perspective.
I saw you fat.
No, no, you actually.
Not to me fat. You fucking saw me shredded. I feel like you keep contradicting yourself. And I'm. I'm a different perspective. I saw you found are you actually me fat?
You fucking so be shredded. I feel like you keep contradicting yourself
And I'm saying this as a fucking friend. I want to hear the first you're saying you're saying
I'm fucking you should be a nervous. I'll fucking beat your ass Bobby. I'll punch you and then later you go
What's the last time I hit anybody? Everybody has this image of me?
I'm kidding when I say when I said oh before I said I like show me one minute of me being a girl
I was there was a joke but you do all the time. No when I say it. Hold on. Before when I said, I like show me one minute of me being a girl.
There was a joke.
That was a joke.
But you do all the time.
No, I don't hit people though.
Where am I hitting people?
Exactly. Exactly.
You do that.
But then you also go, you should be afraid of me.
Bobby, I'll punch you in the fucking face.
Hold on.
I'm leaving.
So I don't hurt you.
I was kidding.
Hold on.
I'm leaving so I don't hurt you.
Joe, can I ask Joe?
Can I ask Joe?
Yes.
I was kidding when I said I break your fingers.
I was completely a joke. You keep breaking up the jokes. But then the seriously you I was completely serious when I said I got up and left because I was I was getting
right I was getting physical violence said that so you're not naming why was not a good
way also say well your friends but hold on Bobby let me say not a contradict you also say
Bobby when's the last time I hit anybody when I ever move myself in the situation
okay but you're playing it up like everyone has this image of me being dangerous and angry and fighting.
You said it all the time.
You got everyone has this, but I didn't reality.
I never fight anybody, but you also want people to know you are a dangerous person.
You want to care about what you're saying.
Yeah, of course.
So I am truly an angry person.
Yes.
I am genuinely, if somebody's going to try to fight me, willing to fight them.
I'm not a guy that will back down from that right. I have not hit somebody in a decade
I know I got into a thing
He's for me and Dave Smith at the Eastphal a few years ago. We got into a thing
But Dave's no me and him versus three other people
I'm one of the game in one was a woman shut up
Don't stop ruining my point. Okay
The point is though is it's not two different things
We talk about Joe.
Me saying, I'm gonna remove myself
because I'm getting physically angry.
Me and Bobby are yelling, shut the fuck up at each other.
And I get up in a moment of rage and say,
fuck it, I'm leaving, because I don't want this
to go out of hand.
Right.
That's me literally controlling myself.
Get out of hand.
That's me controlling myself.
Right.
And it's not a contradiction, because I haven't hit
something in the past.
Okay.
So that's what, but you see what I'm saying, in a way.
No, I don't think you're, no, yes,
I, if people think that I'm an angry, aggressive guy,
that is an accurate assessment.
Okay, the point that I made was I wasn't being aggressive
with her, I wasn't being any more aggressive
than I am in my everyday.
That's my point of she's receiving it that way
because she's reading it and you are
an openly angry, aggressive person.
So now you're, you're pissed at her.
Yeah, for perceiving you as angry,
and aggressive, but you're admittedly and aggressive. No, I'm pissed at her because she's going around my back. That's
a legitimate. That's legitimate. I'm sure I meant to paint this picture of me. Yes.
You're aggressive with that. But that's the problem, Joe. If she would have said, Hey, you know what,
your anger terrifies me. I don't want to talk to you anymore. We would have never spoken again.
That's that. But now she's going behind my back and going to other people that are working,
which is frustrating. So I don't give a, here's the end of the day. I just don't care
I will just come and talk about it openly and publicly and honestly and I'll call them fucking dickheads because that's what dickheads do
But you've also I mean you're about to fucking you me and you get no because I don't say that she's a dick head
I think she did a dick head thing
I'm an awful heels of you telling me to shut the fuck up and kind of a yeah
Because away because yeah because dude you don't shut the fuck up sometimes
And I'm trying to make a point
For you not against you go back and watch the tape you'll see it bubbling up into a moment of it
We have found Lewis's launch code just tell him to shut the fuck up and stand back and then
Disagree with somebody being a dickhead right after go shut the fuck up. They're not a dickhead
They're not a dickhead. It's like, oh, yeah.
But you have to understand that there's people
that you like that I think are dickheads.
That doesn't make them a dickhead.
I'm not.
They did a dickhead thing to you.
Dude, if they fucked with you, Robert Kelly,
the guy who's fucking did more than me for,
more for me than almost anybody else in the world.
Yes.
Guess what?
We be having a fucking serious conversation.
But you, we are having a serious conversation.
But if there's somebody that's fucking with you
and fucking with you, that's a friend of mine. Yeah, tell me dude. They're probably out Dan
Listen bro, I don't know. I got it. He put me in a corner. He's not Dan to you. That's the point dude. I'm
She'll never be
Dan
It was my
You're fucking dead to me. It was my version
Robert
I take this bandana to keep the show moving that big main thing I do was gonna
All right, I'm golden all right if it was my version of this I take this band-in to keep the show moving. That big band thing I knew was gonna fly.
All right, I'm golden, all right?
If it was my version of this relationship
that you have with this girl.
Yes.
And this person fucked with you like that
and went behind your back and tried to paint this picture
of you as being this aggressive dude
who's coming at her and doing this thing.
But if I was a fucking asshole,
I wouldn't bring it up on the show.
If I wasn't having you back and agreeing with you,
I wouldn't on the show.
Right. I just I would not even talk about it. I'd be we'd still be debating rickals.
Okay. The reason why I'm bringing it in.
But the reason why I'm bringing it up on the show is because I think that going behind people's backs and saying
they're I understand when that's coming from.
Okay. I understand what and I also understand now Joe makes a good point, which I didn't get because I'm more like you,
I'm less like Joe, okay?
And I've been aggressive, I've flown off the handle
because of the way I was brought up,
the things that happened, the way we are now,
which we try to control, but we can't.
And I've made mistakes with people that I love.
I've done it with Joe.
And it breaks my heart.
Me too, you remember that?
You remember that?
You remember that mistake with me?
You did it with me today.
And I heard my fear.
That was a real tip for tat.
He was saying you made him feel like he was the totes.
But then, but today he broke my heart.
You broke my heart.
Why, because he's threatened to leave?
Yeah, he's gonna leave the fucking show.
Can I just say that it was, it was, leave the fucking show. Can I just say that?
Who leaves the fucking show?
Hold on, can I just say it was my soothing voice
that got him to sit back down?
It was not.
It was my eye out for mail the back.
No, no, no, no, you didn't.
That was the mistake.
You have it with his bottle.
I'll tell you who leaves the show, that AOL guy.
I bitch that I've come back to his chair.
Listen, I'm the AOL guy.
Let me put it over here.
Yeah, I'm so agree with that.
That's not a bitch that I'm gonna bitch.
Alright, fuck it up.
Dan, when I say, what are you a pussy? He went, oh, fuck it, sit down. No. That was really what I should so great. That's not a bit, that's not even a bit. Dan, when I say, what are you, a pussy,
he went, oh, fuck, it's sit down.
No.
That was really what I should have done.
I should have done a bug's body.
I should have said, don't leave.
I'm leaving.
Spongebob, you get out of here.
I'm staying.
That sticks.
You said baby, not pussy.
Yeah, I'm a good dude.
I like that's Bobby's revisionist history.
You call him a pussy?
Now you said baby.
Pussy.
Oh, I did baby.
Pussy would have been trouble.
Look, I said your big watch is
blocking the bejesus out of me.
Can you do more eliteration?
I love it.
The bejesus the bejesus the bejesus the bejesus the bejesus.
So let's wrap this up.
Let's wrap this up.
Let's all, what Joe said though,
people of it, I have to learn,
I had to learn two things.
I had to learn to control myself.
Stop eating.
I didn't learn that.
Okay, I had to learn two things.
I had to learn how to control myself.
I also had to learn that people's level of aggression
is different.
When I fucking, if I snap at you,
we yell at each other.
Who gives a fuck?
Well dude, we move on.
If I yell at him, it affects him way different.
I didn't yell at her.
But I know, but I'm just saying, you didn't yell at it.
Let's take yelling out of it.
But the aggression tone or whatever,
whatever I take with him is whatever fuck is on our island.
Give a fuck.
That, but that thing right there, some people.
That's the problem.
That, no, but I'm just saying, dude, I don't give a fuck either.
I'm not saying you have to.
I'm just saying that different people would take that right there and be like, that's
aggressive to me.
Then here's the thing, this is what it should be known, right?
I put myself in a position where I don't, these people don't do anything for me.
I do something for them, right?
But only for your own benefit.
But to be honest with you. Not for their benefit. I don't, it's a business. I get a
show. But if it's true, no, they reap the benefit of this. They're not doing
anything for me. It's not, you're actually not even addressing what I'm saying. I'm
doing something that for them, they get to do it. Whether it benefits me or not, it's fine.
They don't do anything for me that benefits me. So it's not an accurate thing that you're saying.
Okay. I make sure I don't put people in that position where I need to suck up to them
or talk to them like they are my superiors. Okay. I am her superior. Okay. I am above her in every
I mean, every capacity of the industry, every capacity of comedy, nobody thinks this girl's as funny
as I am. Nobody thinks she's a success on the way she thinks she has as much going on. I book
things that she wants to get on to. So in every sense of the word, I'm above her in this.
I don't really need to watch my tone with somebody
that I'm above.
Fuck and beat it.
You're not my friend, you don't do anything for me.
That's kind of, I hope that the people that,
the people that, the people that fucking mentored me,
I'm so glad they didn't have that fucking attitude with me.
I don't have it to her.
I'm not mentoring hard, dude. I don't have it to her salad. I not mentoring hard I don't have a man to her mic feigning I mentor these guys
Lewis so if she gets if she gets a half hour and then a sitcom two years from now
She's got a sitcom and a half hour and a tonight show. She talked to you. She fucking go Lewis you fucking piece
If I'm asked you to hold it. I didn't do that. I'm not saying you did that. I'm not saying you did that. Let me say this I'm not saying you did that. Joe that's not what you are though. No, I'm saying you when you make the whole joke
Someone can't talk to me because I'm better than Joe. Let me fucking speak. Yes, go ahead
That's not what when you use the analogy and say if she gets all this up now
She can say all right dickhead. I'm gonna fucking speak to you this way. You're saying that's the way that I'm speaking
Everyone's agreeing with what I'm
No, they're not don't isn't that the way you let's agreeing with what I'm saying. No, they're not. You said it. Isn't that the way you let it?
Is that what I'm saying, Dar?
Is that how you guys read it?
You said that you're in a hurry.
I'm superior so I can say whatever.
When somebody wants something for me and is a dickhead to me, right?
And I'm above them and they can do nothing for me and do nothing for me.
I will treat them as such, okay?
I don't talk to every you were leaving the first part out about her fucking you over.
You were just saying.
That's what I'm talking about a person who's fucked fucked me over do I talk to young comics like assholes?
It would help young comics out. This is my point. You know me. So why are you just trying to play devil's advocate right now?
I'm not trying to put the sake of the devil's advocate. You know I don't talk to comics that way. So what are you talking about?
But you're saying that like saying with a person who's acting like an asshole toward me. I will let Joe like say what he said
She just be I mean she's actually like an asshole to be an asshole. That's why I'm a
lot of your work successful. Why is it matter if you're more successful or less
successful? That's why I'm saying. Okay, it was reverse. Would you go, oh shit, I'm sorry.
If I wanted something for yes, if I wanted something from our 100% that's the
point I'm making, right? Because if there's somebody above me in the industry and I
really want something from them, I'm gonna have to know I'm gonna use kids gloves
and we have to go you don't want to have to really watch what I say to them because they can do something for me and I want something from them. I'm gonna have to know, I'm gonna use kids gloves and I have to go, you know what, I have to really watch what I say to them
because they can do something for me
and I want something from them.
In reality, I don't really want any much from people
in the industry.
But can I ask you a question?
That you've made it more clear by saying that.
But can I say something?
Before it just sounded to me like you were like,
I think I'm doing better in the business
so I don't give a fuck about it.
No, but that's not what I do.
I actually literally, three days ago,
this was a girl that I was super sweet to.
This is the person that I've been trying to help out
and do whatever I can do.
She was on Skankfest last year.
In every world, all of these girls
reap the benefits of the opportunities
that me and my friends are creating.
So I'm nothing but nice to these people.
But if you cross me and you treat me like a fucking asshole,
I'm gonna treat you like an asshole back.
And if you can do nothing for me,
you're that much far below me in the industry.
In what world would you think you wouldn't,
in what world would you think that I wouldn't talk to you like an asshole?
If I'm being treated like an asshole by somebody, I'm gonna choose who's what.
And typically, even if it's somebody above me in the industry and they talk to you like an asshole,
that is.
I burn that fucking bridge.
So why would I feel that way?
You almost burned this bridge.
Yeah, you got them right I did.
I mean Bobby just told each other, shut the fuck up and scream at each other.
I don't, I really don't, there's no part of me that's going like, oh well, I'm gonna
think about what I'm saying to this person because this fuck that
Well, but he's not doing that much better than you she's an asshole and I told
She's an asshole and I didn't even tell her she was being an asshole. I didn't even call her a dick
I didn't call her her name. She got so the text messages
I'm calling her name
You when you were so mad and aggressive and so tough when you had to put your shoulder bag on like a purse
You fucking I'm Leave you queen. put your shoulder bag on like a purse, you fucking leave you queen.
I just went like this anyway like this.
Fucking asshole.
Listen, yeah, I'm not like I said,
it just gets me upset because you guys know more than anybody else
the way that I treat young comics and the people that I work with.
You know, I mean literally, you know,
the entire festival we built is based off of the whole idea.
Let's first of all, let's talk about that for a second.
The idea of Skankfest.
Skankfest, which I am a fan of.
Skankfest NYC.com.
It's also not.
But you can still, there's like 20 to go.
Okay, so here's a deal.
Skankfest, which is probably the only true festival in New York City.
I mean, comedy festival.
I mean, you're talking about a grassroots
trick in the cave, comics making this from the ground up.
I mean, Lewis was standing in my kitchen
and he goes, I'm gonna create a comedy festival
and I was like, sure thing buddy.
And then he's like, no, I'm gonna do it.
And he did it.
So, Skankfest is, if you go to tickets,
what's the name of it?
Skankfest, NYC.com.
Skankfest, NYC. com. Skankfest, and what's going to happen?
I did it last year.
It was fucking an amazing hang festival.
The fans are fucking dude.
I mean, amazing.
I couldn't believe how fun it was.
I'm excited.
How great it was.
And hanging out front in the back, it's really gonna,
it's an insane, this year is it's bigger,
correct?
Yeah, this year is going to be literally it's three times the United States that have been
sold already.
I mean, I got an afternoon show.
I'm like, KWD, but whatever, I have to know it on Sunday, but listen, the thing is, we
got a change of office space that we're working with in conjunction with the Creek in the
Cave as well.
After it looks like it's going to be out when I'm, but the whole, the whole fucking thing,
I'll tell you right now, man, it came came from i wish we did this on skankfest that we thought all that we can let him talk before you fucking kick somebody's
chest and
so uh... last time it came some was just
yeah
shut the fuck up
she's not a car
no
no
no
no
he hurt
he's actually hurt hold on though He's actually hurt! Hold on, Lewis is literally hurt. That might be a broken tailbone.
Are you alright, dude?
Oh my god.
Oh, that's the best.
That's the best.
That's called fucking karma.
That's from Christy Eucachsaka.
Oh, man, I kind of hope your tailbone's broken.
Do you know how happybone's broken do you know
happy listen do you know happy the people you're talking about right now I hope
she hired a fucking blue priest submission fees we're gonna invite a lot of
young comics we're gonna pay absolutely everybody involved and it's a very
positive thing overall for comedy and no it's not no I'm not just doing it for
comics this is a business I'm gonna fucking make money off of it.
I'm gonna make a camera.
You make it a lot of money.
Yeah, and we're proving, we're proving that you don't need
to take money from comics.
You can, you could pay every single comic.
We have 80 comics in the festival.
Everybody's fucking being paid.
We are doing this literally out of a small space
in the Creek in the Cave.
So anybody who's charging you submission fees,
anybody who's not paying comics for their comedy festivals,
they're doing it wrong. Cause we're proving three fucking potted's can create this and make this work. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, look, some festivals like just for laughs. There's actually management and agencies and, you know, networks up there that are up there watching shows and looking for talent and trying to, you know, do that stuff. So there is a payoff on that, and they do pay you money to do those festivals at a certain
point.
I mean, some festivals are really good, but I'm talking about a lot of the bullshit.
But this festival, I really, I mean, I would, look, when you asked me to do it last year,
it's a party.
When you asked me to do it last year, I was like, this is going to be, and I went and it
was, look at the fans of the best.
They're the best.
Well, that's also the idea.
Well, that's also the idea. Well, that's also the best. Well, that's also the combination of everybody's fans.
Yeah, it's like the open Anthony, the Stern, Joe Rogan, like it's like BDD.
Yeah, Tuesdays with stories, certainly.
So, but no, there it is.
What if we had a bonfire, an actual bonfire?
Well, we're getting an inflatable hot tub for the back of the creek.
That's a different thing, but okay.
Way better.
So, here's the thing right
We
No sugar no grains maybe I'll get in that tub. Oh
Love it. Maybe I'll fuck you have a deflatable
You know what dude. I'm trying
The big dip the big differentiator for the festival it really had party everyone's together
It's an noons will 2 a.m. It's a really party a party. Everyone's together. It's an inundal 2 AM.
It's amazing.
It's a party.
It's not like it's spread across 10 different comedy clubs.
Everybody's in one space in Long Island city.
It really feels like.
I'm fucking bringing bats.
We're going to smoke cigars.
So much fun.
I don't know.
We'll a couple of dickheads be there.
My wonder.
The re you know me.
You know me. You know me.
I'm gonna wrap up now because it was a great show and it was a passionate show and I
love these shows.
And listen, I just say for you because you're like me, the reason why we fight, the reason
why we, and I've come to this conclusion is that we're very similar, though.
Yeah.
Me and you are very similar.
That's why we don't, we butt heads.
We've always butted heads from the beginning
You're sweet guys. They're a dumb
We should beat the shit
We just fucked we just did a two well good luck cuz he's got a shield of likeability around
AK is buddy dad dude again, and I'll fucking watch you. Please
So glue what I'm saying you
Louis to get an hour fucking watch. Please. So glue. What I'm saying to you, Louie, Lou,
what I'm saying to you.
Louie's great.
It's fucking something,
sometimes,
I try to get you to fucking pull back sometimes
before you go swinging it.
People say,
I love swing it.
But do it.
Look it, I agree with you.
You shouldn't go behind comics backs.
I'm also friends with that person.
I think it's wrong.
And if I have a talk with her, there's always two sides to a story.
And I'm friends.
And if we ever talk.
Well, I think, look, we're going to talk.
Of course, she's going to talk to me.
And, you know, look, man, I love you.
And you're in the same boat as me.
But, you know, you got to watch out sometimes.
That's f**king.
That's f**ked up.
I just don't want to see you fucking get fucked up because of your
Person that I've been there. I'm a
Please me to my point you should start thinking about embracing the fact that you are helping a lot of people in the community and
Enjoy it for that and I just go I'm running a business dude and I don't care that
You should you should
You're helping you helping my podcast. I'm not thank you's the fucking the appreciation that you are
Helping somebody with a benefit to that
Thank you
Good help when I start thinking about that you're not some fucking
Helper you're not listening to me when I when I
I
I believe it when I started
You put it down and you some so I'm sort of thinking about what I was doing for these people with roast battle,
or roast masters, it actually made me really sad
and it made me quit.
So I'm telling you right now, that's what I started going
like, ah, fuck dude, I was like,
these guys are all reaping the benefits
and nobody's probably coming out and saying,
fuck these girls, nobody's saying,
oh, Lewis is the fucking man.
Ever, I'm getting 100 private messages
from people going like, hey dude, you're right,
we all know this.
But it's just kind of these people dragging my name
through the mud.
And I was like, well, why am I doing it? Why am I helping people out if there's no upside? So Joe, you're right, we all know this. But it's just kind of these people dragging my name through the mud. And I was like, well, why am I doing it?
Why am I helping people out if there's no upside?
So Joe, you're right that I should appreciate it.
But when I appreciate it and I do it for that reason,
I kind of get bit in the ass.
So what I would rather do, because I'm very motivated
by money and success, is I'd rather be successful,
make a lot of money, and a byproduct of those things
be helping my friends out and being able to create great
time to be with them.
Can I say one thing?
Take time to understand that you are helping and people are
appreciated.
And I'm going to tell you this right now and this is an
amazing fact.
And I can't tell you.
These new sand hises that they sent me, the PXC 550s, holy
shit, 30 hours.
Bluetooth life, 30 hours. Swipe.
They have the outside, you can hear inside, outside,
and they plug right in with the microphone.
These are the best headphones ever got.
Don't even feel like some of these headphones
get you hot, not these sand hoses.
PX, 50.
They don't hurt my ears.
Most headphones hurt my ears.
They don't.
They used ones don't, I'm saying.
No, these don't.
These wouldn't hurt you as at all.
These are hurting our ears, you know. You're saying these are all terrible? They don't know which don't I'm saying no these don't these wouldn't hurt you is at all these are hurting our ears
You're saying these are no which ones I'm wearing you fucking idiot. I know that saying yeah
Yeah, the sign has you wear it ones are buzzing. I think being electrocuted by this parapet phones not good
I
Not auto-technica not good. Can I make one more point? Yes?
Make my one point you're but it is you plugs are your points. You my point
Yes, make Momo point. You're, but this is your plugs or your points.
You bet.
My point.
This is, this is heated and, and you're involved in it.
So it feels like your name's being dragged for the money.
But from an outside perspective, I haven't heard,
I don't know.
No one is, this is, no one is going.
It's the intent.
They're trying.
I've never, I've never had one thing either.
I know.
No, I know because everyone knows,
everyone, these idiots are going to people
and all those people roll their eyes and send me the text messages
That they send them nobody likes them. They're hated by other women. They're hated by other comics
They're they're disliked people their phoneies. So your name's not really being dragged
No, they're trying to find it. Okay, that's fine
That's fine. The reason I'm talking about it and getting aggressive about it on a podcast and being so openly and calling them dumb fucking idiots
It's because I don't really care if they're trying to drag my name through the mug. They just make a mug for the mugs.
They just-
Your shits mug proof, dog.
They made him.
They've made an enemy out of me now, and that's fine.
We don't have to acknowledge each other.
When you make an enemy out of a cobra, you get bit with some fandoms.
Mm, did he?
Oh, oh, that's it. I like the gunpoint that you made earlier. I
Like the gunpoint that you made earlier. Yeah, I know you
Fucking shit is what someone's holding a gun on you They're gonna take it then you say it is the gun and she's like it is
Totally the 20 minutes later I have this point and I'm gonna keep talking until I'm on the wall.
Who do you like better?
Dave Smith or Robert Kelly?
Bobby Kelly.
I was thinking, I was like, hmm.
I was talking to him.
He's my best.
Lewis likes me better.
If Bobby was like Lewis is a piece of shit and then Lewis was, I mean, if I was like
Dave's a piece of shit, I don't want you to be talking to him again.
And then Dave was like, Bobby's just come back. I don't want you to have talking to him again and then Dave was like Bobby's a scumbag
I don't wait talking. He's looking at Lewis. He's not like what would I do? What would I do in that case?
I know I wouldn't my friends wouldn't tell
We're men, you know, I'm I tell Dave I wouldn't I would never tell you I would never tell you not to be friends with this girl
I'm I'm obviously being like bombastic and big about Mr. Boom
The
Baby you cannot be friends with this phone. Don't even show down. She's not that cool
That dead tooth let me smell that thing.
Smell it.
No, give it to death.
Smell it.
I don't have a weak sense of smell.
Yeah, because your nose is close off.
Dude, with that fucking shovel nose?
No.
It's bad.
Oh my god.
Let me smell.
I'll be honest with you.
Oh my god.
It's not so bad.
It's not bad.
No, it's not bad.
No, it's bad. Oh my god. Let me smell. I'll be honest with you. Oh my God. That's not bad. That's bad. I like it.
That's bad.
That's bad.
That's bad.
That's bad.
That's bad.
That's bad.
That's bad.
That's bad.
That's bad.
That's bad.
That's bad.
That's bad.
That's bad.
That's bad.
That's bad.
That's bad.
That's bad.
That's bad.
That's bad.
That's bad. That's bad. That's it. There's like that one's right there. That's kind of air down.
No, this is not smell.
I tell you I can go.
Newscopo.
That's actually that's actually movie
Scopo not newscopo.
Smells nothing.
Fucking assholes.
They're hold your man.
You know, you didn't do it so well on stage
every time in your act as well.
I believe it
Here
Hey guys, uh one hour ago we got tweets that said the volume is too low and turn up the volume
Okay, what happened one hour ago an hour ago? We got a tweet that said wow dance big bang joke was hilarious
We're out of here fuck this fucking thing. I feel bad for Joe to have to sit in a room of hacks like that. That's weird more voices from Dan That's a good tweet. Yeah, let Lewis leave
Smoke Tatina got a concept down. Oh
Anyways, I'll be a comedian Joe list calm and I got some big dates coming up comedy castle Detroit in May
Good club mock Ridley. Yes JoeList.com and I got some big dates coming up comedy castle Detroit in May.
Good club.
Mark Ridley.
Yes.
Nice guys.
comedian JoeList.com.
Never had any back Tuesdays with stories.
Check it out.
Great show.
And the podcast we did last week.
Live.
That's the Patreon.
Patreon.
Are you on Patreon now?
We're going to Patreon for quite some time.
Great.
What do you get?
We don't make any money.
We're stupid.
What do you got besides Billion's Sunday nights? 10 p.m. on do you know? Make any money? I'm stupid. What are you trying to do? What do you got besides billions Sunday nights?
10 p.m. on showtime.
Woof! A favorite show on TV.
My favorite show. That and the killing.
I've started watching. Okay.
Karen Digital did a new website for me danceorder.com.
I'm going to be...
Expensive? No. Very affordable.
Did Joe's website as well? Oh, it's great.
He's great. I'll be at a...
I'll be at
I'll be at Moon Tower Comedy Festival doing live on fire some shows and then I'll be in Calgary Alberta Canada at the last shop at the end of the month and then at the beginning of May
First week and I'll be at a stress factory new runs with New Jersey. Awesome with Gary Veter
Yeah, bro
Regina Skanks come on on one stand up shows awesome Texas. I'm coming fucking at you. I'm gonna put my dick in you
Oh, you're gonna love you could actually get a like it
But I'm gonna put a bagging a card. I like it then Houston, Texas on the 23rd of April death squad shows secret show myself
Brian Redband a bunch of other people also being Los Angeles May 22nd through 27th
So if you guys around LA look out for me got a bunch of shows comedy underground comedy store the dime
That's my buddy Adam Hunter show as well also check out my other part. I like Adam Hunter's roast thing
He's so fucking funny. He's the man dude. He's a really funny fucking dude. His MMA roasted thing is great really funny
So funny dude, he's like you can't find it haven't seen the only person who could lose a pound
That the only other fighter who could lose a pound
Can you talk about DC losing a pound during tailgate?
He's like the only fighter that could lose a pound that fast is John Jones when the cops
are chasing him.
That's funny.
It's a fucking great speed.
But it's gonna stumble through it.
Yeah.
So I got three podcasts, Legion of Skanks, Real Ass Podcasts, and the brand new Believe
You Me podcast with myself and UFC Middleweight Champion Michael Bisping.
Okay.
Available on the Gast Digital Network, Gast Digital Network.
So it's not on serious anymore?
Do it on serious exam, but there are only two months left the i've resigned my contract for
two months so they don't give me the money that i'm looking forward to getting
together he that's real student move michael bisming said if i go he fucking
goes he told you to say that really yeah he did that's a real ask there you
go read it you heard
oh that's gonna go off what is i want to that was for the reddit
oh what is it what was it oh that was for the Reddit. Oh, it was But what was it? Oh, what'd you say? I said Michael Bisming did what OP
Wooden what's that leave his radio show for his partner first partner? I'll do that for the bonfire
Mondays and Wednesday 6th APM on Comedy Central Radio seriously 75. That's great. Thank you. I got some stuff too
I'm gonna go to Moon Tower with you guys, which would be fun. I wish I could do that
Moon Tower Moon Tower
Um, all right
Where am I? You are at the Acme comedy company. I've been trying to work this club for years
And I it's the best club in the country correct guys guys really I was right with you during your plugs
You're not gonna get a battery, correct? Guys?
Guys?
Who is?
I was right with you during your plugs.
Look, you're ready, you fucking faces.
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sending a W9 from a guy
whose kid is dying, so we can get him some money
from your show.
Thank you, I appreciate you doing this.
Yeah, I gave money too, so give me a fuck.
I said thank you.
I'm talking to you.
I'm talking to you.
Fuck.
Give me a minute.
Give me a minute for doing that.
Give me a minute.
I'm listening.
I'm listening to you.
I need you to sign.
I'm listening to you.
I'm listening to you. I'm listening to you. You're a an email. You're she gone then give me a second. She's
fucking make time. Look at me. Hey,
she making a comeback. Yes. Is she
really great news? They're in Mexico.
Our country stinks. I think in Mexico,
she's made it to Mexico. She got her
hearing back. It's like a whole thing.
Really? So yeah, go miss.
Kidoffi phone. You're gonna love
Acme. I'm going to
come April 28th 29th. I'm trying to have me comment. April 28th, 29th.
I'm trying to go to this club for years.
That's great.
Best club in this country they say.
Yeah.
Nicta Paula says is the best club in the country.
I love it.
I do too.
You don't know the club that did just book me at?
Stand up live Phoenix Comedy Club.
That's the guy who went to.
I love that club.
I never did.
Oh, it's so packed.
They pack it out.
It's beautiful.
The hotel's awesome.
420.
I'm there.
What?
420, huh?
The 20 to the 22nd.
StandupLive.com for tickets.
StandupLive.com for tickets.
The 20 to the 22nd.
I am there.
Headlining.
I'm very excited to go.
That just popped up.
And I'm also going to be at Harris, New Orleans with Nick DePolo
Which I'm excited that's gonna be a great it's a one-nighter
Me and DePolo I can't wait I love do I do a bunch of casinos with him
I've done it before what a fucking fun night. We flip flop he goes first I go for whichever it doesn't matter
We both kill and it's awesome and then uncle Vinnie's main 19th and point pleasure. I'm at the Jersey Shore
We're going out And then uncle Vinnie's May 19th and point pleasure. I'm at the Jersey Shore What are we gonna do get disco fries your fucking heart?
Listen and get off your phone Lewis dog dog shut the fuck up
We can leave now. I don't give a fuck if you walk it put your purse on now and leave you fucking temperamental cunt
You're welcome, put your purse on now and leave you fucking temperamental cunt. Um, do you write that down?
That's a good name for the show.
Temperature.
Hi, you guys.
I mean, this is a crazy, this is a fucking crazy show.
The name's got to be their not dickheads.
Good to come back for Thanksgiving dinner and have everyone fuck.
Oh, guys, I might have a party this Sunday if you want to come.
Woo, girl.
I'll be gone.
I can't.
Patriots day.
50 right away.
Well, if you want to be a guest in the studio, please email me at
ykwdproducer.ricast.com. Also, we want some new artwork for
being aggressive. Artwork, please mail to 117 McTookel Street, New York, New York,
New York, 1-0-0-1-2, Attention and Robert Kelly. And also, we are looking for new artwork for our new merch.
No, not for them.
We're looking for artwork from fans.
You know, I have a bunch of new things that I had a designer make, but nothing's clicking
for the YKWD.
I need a couple of guys, I need to do a new guy.
I need to send it.
Here's a new hoodie we got, but I'm looking for a new, I want a new design for the YKWD
logo.
And I just, I don't know what, I had a couple of things and I'm like, it's just not clicking.
Yeah.
You'll not want it to right one.
Yeah, it's weird.
Hi, you fucking.
Send it in.
Where do they send it?
YKWD producer at Rycast.
What else do we got?
Follow us, become a premium member when I did nine per month,
iOS and Android devices.
Download the Robert Kelly's, you know what do you have?
Yeah, download it right now.
Pre-review. We're putting up a bunch of, you know what do you have. Yeah, download it right now. Pre-de-me.
We're putting up a bunch of one-on-ones,
a 2-on-ones, and I'm still waiting for no one
that's the creeps with kid show that we did.
Yeah.
That's gonna go up.
Laffable.
Also very.
Oh, yes.
Laffable.com, which is, I mean, if you listen to podcasts,
comedy podcasts, you have to download laughable.com.
It's amazing because it's good because this show,
they'll have you, Lewis Dan, but they'll hit you face
and it will show all your podcasts will pop up.
Every show you've been on will come up.
So I can go to any show you've been on,
all your 19 podcasts that you have, I can go to Dan and he's once as you guest on everything.
They do actually do actually
something that iTunes probably is fucking stupid for not doing.
Which is just it's easy for podcasts fans to find
podcasters easily and make it easy for you to get your message out there.
They're.
They're.
Yes.
They're unbelievable app.
And of course we have the chip, chip,
as in podcasts number one on iTunes today
I was talking around I mean I think almost 40,000 downloads the first day
So it's crazy and it's ever it's 22 minutes of the funny shit ever. He's just a fucking
Podcasts, but anyways, yeah, I know pat of the cast
How did the cast that's his name the chip chiperson pat of the cast?
So go download that download
Why we're Kelly's you know what dude keep it Mackie? Oh, yes, yeah Phil Sam and Joe Mackie's new podcast riot cast and make sure you go down
the
Strickly anonymous
Kathy cano and of course man, please go download the new
Talking funny with Christy cello. She's one of one of the hits
One of the hits on the net one of my favorite shows on the network actually love
We love I'd be honest to get rid of the Apollo get rid of boss of Bonnie get rid of
Tell me if that smells what just tell me if that's your fucking dude gross. Is it bad?
Oh, yeah, I smelled your mic cover
It was okay you guys made up, but I took the risk I'm glad that everyone got to see the phoneiness that they have every time
It took a risk. It took a risk. I'm not spending your year. This is cuz that took a little risk
Take a look. Oh
You're doing it. You're gonna throw it on my nose. I swear to you
If you don't rub it on my nose or my lip, yeah, you're not funny. You're gonna throw it on my nose. I swear to you, I was not gonna do that. I was gonna do that. I'm gonna be an idiot.
If you don't rub it on my nose or my lip,
you're not funny.
I swear to God, I won't.
Yeah, I really get the fuck outta here.
Guys, thanks for coming on.
The regulars are on the YKWD.
Do you have anything else?
That's it, right?
She said, Skankfest.
Skankfest will be at Skankfest in the afternoon
during the daylight, so if so if you yeah in the heat
Yeah, what the fuck
How the fuck do you?
Get off the fucking thing it's a question. It's not fun when he doesn't flinch
Why
Why do you point it out? It's a real razor blade that he threw at me
No, it's a blade. No, it's a real razor blade that he threw at me.
No, it's a blade.
No, it's a fucking iPad stand you ape.
All right, goodbye.
You've been listening to the YKWD podcast.
Thanks for listening.
Now go back to your shitty jobs.
Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca.
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