Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Yannis Pappas, Colum Tyrrell | Free Thinker
Episode Date: February 1, 2021This week Yannis Pappas and Colum Tyrrell come on YKWD to talk who shouldn't be neighbors, why the word business is in Show Business, and Yanni's appearance on Rogan! Learn more about your ad choices.... Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Hoy es un dÃa de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el dÃa.
Donde nadie pregunta de dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene.
Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos.
Hoy es un dÃa de eso que Madrid nos lia.
Hoy es un dÃa de eso que Madrid nos encuentra.
Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos.
Encuentra los bares de Madrid la edición especial de Madrid nos lia.
Un humenaje de mao, a Madrid. en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. Siempre que se mantenga las terconstancias económico-financeras del solititante en el momento de la solicitud. He's back again. Hope's moving back in the day. We're all starting to be warm them all. I'm keeping my team tight.
I'm keeping my team tight.
This podcast is so fun and crazy.
It has no rules.
See you all the way to this.
We're the barbara.
I'm proud of this.
Sorry.
This is comedy podcast.
This is it, NPR.
That's the podcast done.
Is there any better show?
This is the original original. Richard Richard.
And we are back again.
You know what dude podcast, longest fucking podcast on the East Coast.
I've been through the fucking wars. I've been through it all. I was here when
nobody was doing it. And I was doing it from a kitchen in Hell's kitchen with fucking
a Joe Derosa and Dan Soda before they had shit. Well, Joe still has the same that he
had back then, but Dan Soda didn't have yet. Joe's got less. Hey, Mike. No, Joe's got less No Joe's doing great before he calls me to what the fuck
You know I move back from it. This is the shit I get everybody's fucking sensitive now because they're on edge you can't make a joke anymore
No, you can't make a joke and nobody likes
Nobody likes seeing you succeed in the pandemic by the way, nobody likes seeing Janice Popus
fucking
Crawling out and just rising above like it's regular times nobody likes it Janice
We're gonna get to you fucking shits Creek face. I was just saying I was born in darkness
You were born in darkness.
Gabby, the beautiful Gabby, here pulled back like a beautiful starlet from 1991.
Oh, oh.
Or a Jewish girl in New Jersey giving a blowjob.
Yeah, all of a media Jersey a Jersey six that works in a dentist office and a strip mall in Jersey somewhere
giving you a hand job in the parking lot after you get your root canal done. Once again, I'm a Jersey 10 New York
Thousand. Thank you so much on the show today. We have column, column, T-Roll and Yannis Poppins.
And we of course we have mush hiding in the background.
I forbid him from being on because he tried to steal my look,
my bokeh, my bokeh look.
When I was, my computer went down, mush stepped in
and tried to steal the King of Zoom title from me.
And I admire it, but fuck you.
Now you don't get to show people what you roll.
Well, yes, Colin, Colin, is it named Colin?
Colin, but you can call him.
Yeah, Colin, now I don't know you,
but I've heard about you,
and everybody was like,
oh, you gotta get this fucking dude on the show.
And you're from the motherland where I'm from believe it or not
Yeah, I know you're looking at my face. Yeah, look like a Filipino woman. I love you know, you should read about the famine Bobby
Yeah
Right out of the gate
Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm big and Bobby actually it's okay
You should read about the famine Sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm big and Bobby actually. It's okay, dude.
You should read about the payment. Motherfucker. I'm trying column. I'm fucking trying. Okay. You're talking to pandemic. Yeah. Yeah. You look.
Shut your face. It's the camera. Trust me. I'm a little bit stretching. My body is like four feet.
I'm stretching the camera on the ceiling. I made this room. It's a special room
where I'm literally I'm stretching my face out. I was, yeah, I was told, now how long you've been in
New York, dude? And five years. Five years. No shit. Yeah, I've just been not successful. So, I guess
that I got to this. Yeah. you've been in New York four years
and one year pandemic.
So you've really been in New York four years
and then track, you couldn't fly back home for a year.
So you just been trapped.
Yeah, that's exactly.
Although, because of the pandemic,
I've just been doing a bunch of podcasts
and it's kind of helped me more than anything else.
So oddly, look at me now.
Yeah, I didn't get any of that.
What do you say?
What?
You said he is happy to be here.
I said, if you're a fucking, if you're a fucking pro,
I'll kill your fucking family.
You can stand fucking, fucking, fucking Jimmy.
That's not a sh.
Nobody could do Irish.
Everybody winds up as you did Duncan McCloud
from the Clad McCloud. You can only be one. I found your name on a good and pages.
These poor kids have to deal with American comics constantly trying to talk their fucking
accent. So, you know, what can you do? I mean, you know, your place, your place is
it real to us. We think like you're living a Lord of the Rings land. Why do you talk so weird?
Just fucking turn on true TV and watch how we speak.
We speak, we pronunciate things, we can understand each other.
There's no like I'm going to the foreboding.
Yeah, my favorite thing in the world is when somebody from over there
talks like one of us.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, that's normally rich.
Yeah, it used to make me happy like what a black guy would do it, but now it what I mean? Yeah. That normally rich. Yeah. You used to make me happy
like what a black guy would do it, but now it's just hack. Yeah. Yeah. You know. Yeah.
Hey, man, what's going on, dude? But can you talk like us? Call them not really. Kind
of like a lector or something. Can you try to talk like us? Like if you just pretend
I met you and you pretend your name is Scott, and I met you in a bar and Boston. Hey, what's up? What's your name?
Scott Johnson
You've never worked with a CIA
I need a fucking New York net net net hat and be like hey, my name is Scott Johnson. I work in a
You look like if Napar Gatsy and Shane Gillis fucked.
Yeah.
True.
And it's so true.
Not Napar Gatsy now.
Napar Gatsy when he looked
like the most handsome kid
with Down syndrome you
ever saw.
Yeah.
All successful mate.
Yeah.
I get all these all the time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You look like you
make before he had money.
Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. You look like you're before he had money. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. You look like mate. When he, when he's still opening for people, just a little
chubby, chubby dude with a fucked up haircut, not that your hair cups fucked up, but it's
not. Yeah. Let's just air. Let's be honest. Look at that. Fuck it. I got good hair. But
I mean, I do I look a little like Colin Farrell. You're from, like, do I look like Colin Farrell, they put his head and a vice and pushed his eyes together?
Yes!
It looks like Yannis is getting a haircut right now.
It's like you just phoned in.
Yeah, I'm sitting in my nose on the basement.
You know, I'm waiting, I'm in a bunker.
I don't know, I'm waiting for the Chinese to attack.
I'm getting, we're all getting a little paranoid.
Is that your art back there? What's what's going on?
That is
That's my dad's art. He passed away. So we cleaned out his apartment now
It's just sitting in my basement as a reminder that I'm fatherless. Oh, but now I feel bad. Oh great
That's awesome. It's fine. It's it's worth money or is it just dad art?
It's just dad art. We're like yeah like
Some of it's really good
and I've hung that up, but the other ones, you know,
it's like, I don't quite know what to do with it
because like you try to give it away and people like,
you know, you don't want to give your dad's art
to something that they're going to put in the garbage
when they get it.
So I'm just moving on to it.
It's not like the time.
You're a piece of art that's in our therapist's office
that's gorgeous, it's three faces.
And you're, you know, You know, we had a fight about that. therapist's office, that's gorgeous, it's three faces. And you're, you know,
you know, we had a fight about that.
I told you, that's how I remember,
I gave it to him, he took, you know, Bob,
and you should get back into art,
start painting again.
It's gonna help you creativity.
I start painting, I break out all the,
fuck the easel, I break it all on my shit.
I start painting, first painting,
I made this for you Mary Christmas
yeah a year later it's still no it'll be found we get
no big plate I'm fucking furious and I go and I go I go I go I'm not for you bullshit
and I want my painting on the wall I want my fucking wall with this other
garbage is this depressing paintings you have all over the fucking place
I want my depressing painting on the fuck a wall next week at Kim and right in front of the shitter as soon as you come out
Yeah, when I saw it. I thought it looks like it was made by John Wayne gacy
Pretty good level. It's like serial killer level, you know, it's like
John Wayne gacy you ever see there are pretty decent it's like it's like they read that book
you know drawing from the right side of your brain you know the one that makes I don't prostitute's tits. Ha ha ha ha ha. Are you selling an outfit behind you?
What is the?
Yeah, I'm all I'm making a perfect
pop person over there.
So what is is this the basement
up where you live or is this an old basement?
No, this is a basement of a house I broke into
and the family's dead upstairs.
I'm trying to get income and there's some jewelry
that I've stolen and I just remember I had your podcast at five and then I'm out of here
column looks like the cop was gonna solve that crime
So I'm gonna see the actual real cop
I'm like a cop look is this an American cop look just yeah, you have a very cop look
Yeah, I still look like you're a low-level bar still employee You have a very cop look or a bar stool look.
Like you're a low-level bar stool employee.
That would be a step up from me right now.
I mean, look, when you're white and you're Irish, people just assume you're a cop.
So that's what it is.
So let's talk about this, because I got gotta get this out of the way. We're gonna do, we're gonna, we're doing the podcast today and then we do an extra tenet
the end of it for Patreon only.
You guys will be able to stick around for that, right?
I mean, what do you get shows?
No, yeah, but you know, we get a little cut of the Patreon for that, no, right?
Yeah, sure, you get it.
I mean, yeah, you should, I mean, I was supposed to get a cut of your Patreon, but remember that and you guys
Fuck me
We'll talk about that first, okay?
You're
Remember that 10% I gave you back. Nah, you keep that
Stocking state unsuccessful for fucking just luck enough
How do you get extra five bucks the next week? I can't stay unsuccessful for the fucking just luck enough. From there to go, no, you're stupid.
How do you get extra five bucks?
The next week, 75,000 Patreon members.
You fucking cock suckers.
Yeah.
So I, I, I, I saw, I mean, this week,
I saw you, uh, got on Rogan.
I saw a little clip of it.
And yes, I'm talking to you, honest.
Yeah, I like, did I?
You might get on it. You can figure it out. You, you, you seem like you're an Irish fighter.
Um, did you see, um, your boy get his ass beat this weekend?
Yeah, early stoppage, if you ask me,
I'll be back. He's the best fighter in the world. He'll be back.
You're thinking he's the best fighter in the world. He'll be back. You think he's the best fighter in the world now? Yeah, sure.
He's been fucking tapped out and knocked out the last couple fights.
Bobby, if you still had the bandana, I would throw it at you just for your response. I mean,
that was a good joke when he said early stoppage. I mean, your laugh wasn't big enough.
I mean, that was a good joke when he said early stoppage. I mean, your laugh wasn't big enough.
Dude, I'm sorry.
I'm gonna shed in my backyard right now, okay?
Yeah, but my response is by the quality.
I mean, your quality looks like you're in a Hollywood studio.
Yeah, yeah.
I was just throwing a phone, like I said,
with podcasts, you love technology.
You're a, you have a, the soul of a Japanese kid.
Inside of you.
Yes, I do. Back from from.
Yes, that's that's that's pretty accurate.
That is fucking very accurate.
I I like to call myself the illusionist.
Yes, Colin, do you mind if I steal that and tweet it right now?
It was a good fucking joke.
I'm going to say pretty decent fight, but I think it was a little early stoppage.
Yes.
Yeah.
Go ahead and do it because Rogan listens to his tweets, not yours.
And that, you know know get more play that way
Fucking Frank
I saw back to back the honest
I said your hair infuriates me it should have been gone three years ago, but it's fucking magical. It's a magical
ago, but it's fucking magical. It's a magical. Look at that. Look at that. I got up. Siri. I, my buddy Sergio, she called very
funny comic. He says my hair looks like soft serve. Yeah. You
really do look like the dude from Shits Creek, the, the gay guy.
Yeah, I look like a bunch of,
I look like the retarded version of a lot of handsome
or guys.
Yeah, you know what?
That is a fucking good goddamn, I wish I said that.
It would have got a laugh from everybody.
My dream is a special need stamos. This really is just a fucked up look at podcast.
Yeah, he and Colin look like there's a there's a count you're looking for somewhere at
all.
Yeah, there's a man.
There's a van waiting to pick you guys up to get you back to the house for dinner.
Yeah, we just got gold medals.
A competition we didn't run.
Yeah, you didn't get a gold medal.
You got a silver.
Participants.
I was made ice cream.
Yeah, not all I wanted.
So you do, you were on Rogan this week.
Is that your first time on?
Yeah, of course.
Now, how did that happen?
I think I'd be doing my, you think I'd be doing the show if it was my second?
Yeah, it's so funny.
That actually hurts because that's usually what happens.
I'll always do your show.
You're one of my favorite people that'll never change.
And listen, my career's not going anywhere. That's a peak. It's going downhill again.
Oh, stop it. Stop you fucking nut. You, I mean, it's a great thing. Not not only did you get,
how did you, how did that happen? How does that go about happening? Well, you got to have some dirt
on Rogan and you blackmail him and he said, I would have not worked it. I, I fucking do have actually
dirt on Rogan.
That's what he goes.
Oh yeah?
Is that the way?
That's be funny if I did it and then he just leg kicked me
and fed me to a fucking Brendan Schwab.
You call the Brendan Schwab?
Yeah, Cal and Brendan Schwab just fucked me in a basement
for months.
Yeah.
Then one day I looked up and Tim Dylan's just
they're naked with a fucking soft serve ice cream.
I make these suck his balls. Oh my god, you really do look like a retarded fucking John
Stamos.
So, but how did it, no, like, did you request to do it or they just call you up?
No. He's, he's been following me on Twitter for a
little while, you know, right? People think my Twitter feed is too wild and because
that's what really now, if you're a freak thinker at all, it's like this guy's, you know,
crazy. So, Rogan follows me and I guess he liked my Twitter feed, so he just, he
messaged me on Twitter and he's just like, hey man. And did you fly out of the day
fly? No, I just flew down,'s just like, hey man. And did you fly out of the day fly?
No, I just flew down went to Austin has barbecue and did his podcast.
I mean, you know, nobody, nobody's really helped comics more than him. So it's like, I mean, I put Colin Quinn, would help a lot of people.
I mean, it's generational.
I hope you had any help.
A lot of fucking people.
Adam Sandler helped a few comics.
I mean, I know he just did the show and you're a little shani on Joe, but I mean right now
Right you're right guys dude. I'm trying to do the same thing. Go ahead
Yeah, I mean, you know Joe's just the greatest and I really appreciate that you have
Yeah, yeah, that's great and and but you But you did the show, but I mean, listen,
and I saw the little thing you put up today,
I think it was, who is that guy?
What's his name? That compliment that you?
Lick's Fredeman, he's a scientist.
He's an artificial intelligence scientist at MIT.
Yeah, which is great, because he's so,
he's exactly what you want that guy to be.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Exactly that outfit, the fucking personality.
Yeah.
You want him to be that guy.
You know, it sucks when the scientist
is that, you know, artificial intelligence guy
is just dirty.
Yeah, he hasn't showered, you know what I mean?
Well, no, he seems like a scientist now
because the alt scene is over the comedy alt scene
But if you went five fucking years ago and you went to whiplash and you saw him you'd probably assume he was in the green room going up next
You know that's sure is all dead is it fucking fily over? I think it's over man. I think I think it's over
I don't know. I mean I'll ask you over. Yeah it over? Yeah. Or is it, is it made, it all become mainstream?
I think all I can manage maybe.
I think, I think all, I don't think it's over.
I think they just took over the spot that they supposedly hated.
You know, people sell out comedians.
Now they're all doing fucking animations.
They're all chipmunks and dogs and fucking silly collecting big big big fucking huge checks while those people still homeless
right outside their fucking door. There's a few tents and they got to step over
them to get into their fucking Bentley's. Yeah so I think they're the main
stream now. Oh my god. As long as they say they care about stuff they're good
you know?
Yeah, yeah, it's pretty funny, but who's all he's fucking? Who is all that's mainstream now?
Come on, for sure. Yeah, who's it?
Kumaw non-Johnny's very funny
Simpson's I don't know which one which yeah, you said it. I did it. Yeah, you said it. I did it. But yeah, he's definitely jacked now. Um, he's in superhero movies and, um, you know, he's
having all those well fucking these mainstream. Yeah, he was always, uh, uh, Chris David Cross fucking mainstream. Yeah. Uh, uh,
across fucking mainstream. Yeah. And to meet you Martin was enough. There was a whole bunch. It was a whole for a while is the whole scene where you know, it was like you could play the game like
to me. Is that a comedian or somebody with autism just like is he French or is he gay?
Both. To me, all to me though. Yeah, that's crazy. To me. That's the real alternative comedy scene or comic to me when I moved to New York was Rick Shapiro
That was a guy who was playing the fucking East Village the pink pony
Everybody was up at the strip and oh the seller or whatever and he was in some fucking little place in front of 20 people
some fucking little place in front of 20 people saying and doing the weirdest shit and just murdering and not murdering in the same set.
Just bringing the crowd to a screeching halt and then getting them back and then fucking
dumping them again and then doing I mean Rick Shapiro was fucking, I mean to me an
alt comic.
What do you consider to name Garofalo alt originally?
Yeah, probably.
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, she was annoyingly alt
because she would go on stage with notes, you know,
on a special, it's like dude, you didn't get to shit down.
You know what I mean?
But she's like mainstream club now.
Yeah, she's mainstream now, yeah.
And she gets, I mean, she may fun,
I didn't she make fun of people who got like,
you know, Botox and all that.
And she get that shit now and she all for that stuff.
Probably. I mean, you know, you either,
you either die early or you live long enough to see yourself become a hypocrite.
Oh, what what what the hell movie was that from? Okay, Yogi. What was that
from? What movie was that from you, son of a bitch? It was from the cheesy part of my brain,
I guess, who are you? Dude, that is not from you. That is a combination of fast and furious
and a fucking John Cla Clark Van Dam movie.
That is not, that is not from your friend.
That's why you know, Yannis is a dad now.
He just talks in shitty verse sometimes.
Yeah, I think that was weekend at birdies too.
But yeah, you got on the show and how many hours was it?
Did you have fun?
It was four hours, one of his long hair.
And it's, yeah.
I thought, yeah.
Doing four hours is a time flu,
because I was having such a good time.
But there was one point where I felt,
like, you have to pay attention the whole time.
And you know, listening is not comedians strong points.
So, no, no, no.
Straight ahead. At one point, I just felt like, you know listening is not comedian strong point so no no straight at one point I just
felt like you know I have anxiety to begin with so I had a
massive anxiety attack for about 40 seconds I was about to
say to him like hey man can I go to the bathroom but I just
fought through it and got to the side there was no oxygen in
there were smoking cigars were drinking fucking scotch and
I'm staring across the table at a superior human being who
is looking at me going like hey, I'll do eight hours if you want.
So it's like, you're just like,
but it was an amazing conversation.
He's such a nice kind and curious guy.
It was really funny.
And then I went,
let me ask you a question though,
because you did bring up a thing before,
I hear this a lot now,
and it's pretty fine.
I know you were joking, of course.
People bring up the table like
Oh you guys this isn't the table like that generation of busting balls or making fun of each other or always fucking kind of going for it is
a bad thing or
like a
a fucked up like
You know almost like yeah, that that shit, we don't do that shit anymore.
You know, we have, we have civil conversation, we bus balls, but we're nice to each other too now.
Like, that's almost like a bad way of doing it, you know what I mean?
I think like all things world changes a little bit.
I think he loves that stuff personally, but I think on his podcast,
it's just, and you'll notice by the people he has on, I mean, it's like he could have
on Matt Damon every week if you wanted to or the biggest stars, but he has fucking
Janus Papison or some AI guy. It's really just what Rogan wants and what he's curious
about. And he's just a curious guy. And he, look, he does four hours, nobody does four hours.
If you were telling me I'm going to start a podcast, it's four hours, everyone will be like,
that's gonna fail.
He kind of just as a guy who does what he wants, that's my first take on it.
My second take on it is that, that was, that's a great thing, the table, comedians, bus
and balls and not being too sensitive and it'll always be great.
But I think it is generational in the sense that that was at a time where you guys were sharpening each
other's wits because it was a very competitive blood sport where there was only a certain
amount of spots you had to get into this very elite club of killers which you were and
all these which you are sorry but we're talking about the safe table.
I did the adjustment in my head don't worry.
We have this therapist.
You had to get initiate and this is great in and of itself,
but things changed.
And that was because there was a limited amount of spots.
You had to get past that a club to have a career.
You had to get a late night set, you had to get a half-hour.
You had to go through a Montreal.
You had to go through a system that was very competitive.
So when you got in that fraternity of killers,
you guys were sharpening each other
by fucking gang banging like that.
But now it's quite the opposite where there's room for everybody and actually so much the
opposite that you get bigger by sharing, by going on someone else's pockets, by promoting
somebody else, by cross promoting.
So because there's no limited amount of spots now, now there's room for everybody with this
digital sphere.
So it has changed a little bit in that sense.
And that's why even when we had Burr on our podcast
and he was just beating me down,
I started to think about it retro-spec.
That was going like, he's just from an era
where this is what you do.
Where he's like, I'm a photo.
I say something though, you're from that era.
My original YKWD, which most people don't know. If I put up a photo and I have
photos like artwork of the regs, you're in it. Yeah. You were one of the original, I mean, Joe,
Dan, and Lewis, of course, but you and Joe Derosa were one of the regulars on my podcast back then.
I mean, and it was a, it was a doggy dog fucking podcast.
And it was, it was like you had open Anthony fine, right?
But my podcast was the young mother fuckers.
I was in there, I was in there an old bull hanging out
with you fucking twats coming in, going fat, you know,
going for gold every week.
Yeah, it was a bunch of fun guys. It was a bunch of funny guys and Lewis.
I remember.
I've just let me ask you questions.
So you're on the show and
I heard what you said.
Gas did you know,
fucking festival parts six.
Austin will happen.
Me versus the artist's purpose.
I fucking love Lewis that that,
but Lewis is an example of someone who started thinking
about that new world and yeah, although I am,
I think I would say I straddle both worlds
and it's not a bad thing.
It's not a bad thing.
I just think as far as making it in this new world.
But let me ask you a question.
Let me ask you a question.
Were there any parts
during doing Rogan's podcast where like, you know, of course, doing mine or over the years of it? Well, you just wanted to go, ah, shut up. You know what I mean? Well, you just wanted to
or you said something funny and it bombed and you were like, well, you knew I would have thrown
the fucking bomb bandana right at your face. Yeah. Well, you know, it have thrown the fucking bomb bandana right out of your face. Yeah, you could have a moment.
Well, you know, it's the first time.
So part of it is like I don't know him that well.
But after four hours, we got to know each other.
But yeah, there was a few times where I tried to,
you know, I threw a couple of jokes out there and they bombed
and either I wanted to shit up myself or, you know,
but, you know, I think, you know, it's,
I'd say with you, like, you know, I look up, you it's I say with you like you know, I look up
You know, you're your generation ahead of me obviously so when I went on your show
That was a big deal as well and it's still is you know, so it's like
When I show when you bomb even me you get a fucking that's why that bomb Dana was event is like
Ah, you stink and it kind of made it all right like look
We know that you bomb are here. Take that
and fuck it. But on that show, you got to just keep, you can't be like, Oh, that sucked. You got to
keep growing, right? You can't. His, yeah, his pocket. That's why I think it's so successful. His
podcast isn't really in a genre. It's not really a comedy show. It's not really a serious TED talk.
It's sort of Joe. It's what Joe's curious about. So it's like
it's a very pretty like all things that become great. It's really original. Great art or any great
podcast. It's not anything else. I mean, seriously, think about it. I'm not blowing
smoke. I mean, science is nothing like it. Like,, I will 100% you wouldn't even go for a piss because your taught me we cut the thing short
Because he'd be go for my fucking career
Fuck sake you wouldn't go for a piss
Interview and then you're gonna about the genius of Rogan
Well, you're just being Bobby, but you won't eat a fucking suvlaki sandwich in his presence either
Only a few was no about that one
Fuck the call of my love it
Yannis was talking the one that was four hours long
I Yanis is talking the one that was four hours long
Minutes about nothing
We know he's fucking great
Sorry, but we wanted to talk to the more established comedian in the four squares
Shit shit, let me do
I thought you were my emoji face and you lost a lot of weight or something.
I mean, I think it was column.
I don't think Joey even follows me on Twitter.
So I'm not even in the game.
So I, yeah, I think I'm a puppy.
Yeah, you stick with me, column.
You'll go exactly where Janus was until he dumps me and goes to Rogan and all things
comedy. I-
We're- yeah, I mean, yeah, we're not with all things comedy more either.
Why not?
What happened with Earth?
What?
Yeah, we just went independent for a little while.
I mean, things change quick.
I mean, you know, next week things will be different than they are this week.
Things just move quick.
Yeah.
What happened?
What happened?
What happened? Oh my God, you guys are really shucking a jive and I love this story. y que están en este momento, las cosas están muy rápidas. SÃ, sÃ. ¿Qué?
¿Qué?
¿Qué?
Oh, mi God, ustedes están realmente chacando a Jive,
y me encanta la historia.
Es que la situación es muy...
Y a la gente, se está haciendo un rÃo y la segunda,
y tú puedes estar en el fondo de la parte de Mike.
SÃ, yo creo que es una historia, una historia.
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Volotea.
Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. symbolate a point of com. I don't know what's going on. Oh my god.
What?
I mean, do you want a saying book?
I mean, I have a question.
Can you give me a rubble of saying he likes your sayings?
Is that why you just throwing sayings out there?
I mean, I tweeted once.
I was like, hey, man, the hand doesn't have five fingers for nothing.
And he was like, hey, man, I love it.
Come on, man.
Is that the twa?
What was the tweet that got it?
What, we got a year to tweet. I think I'm in the tweet that the got it what we got a
i think i'm really
i think that what he like i think that he like i mean he fought me for
while so yeah long time but i think i know one thing he mentioned
me on his podcast when he liked that i put my pronouns as he
all
that's funny that's a good one
yeah so i think he liked that and uh...
well that was yeah close to the new let's funny is that's a good one. Yeah, so I think you like that and you know, well, yeah, close to that. Well, you know, what's funny is that if it seems to look at I am not the
type of guy. I don't like Twitter. I don't like I like social media and I've always liked it even from back in my space
just
Fun shit a bust in balls with my friends are blah blah blah, right?
But I've never put them, you know, religion beliefs or,
you know, I'm kind of quiet with that shit.
I'm political reliefs.
I ride the line.
I'm not really a political guy.
Stuff like that.
I don't need the fucking bullshit.
I got too much stress in my life.
You know, I'll fucking kill somebody.
Like I say, I have first and sixth gear. I don't have second, third, fourth and fifth gear. I go from, hey, man,
it's cool. I'll fucking murder you very quickly, very honest. You know, yeah. Oh, hey,
Janice, are you fucking eating in here? It happens like that. Yeah. That was the first
time I met Janice. The first time I saw Janice was when he walked in the studio with a sandwich and Bobby almost stabbed him
a hundred times.
I was like, oh my God.
Yeah, the kids from Boston don't have a second, third,
fourth and fifth year.
They go, how you fucking doing, kids?
The fuck you, you quark suck at?
You got to, I got to apologize, I got to apologize.
We would talk.
Fuck, I got to apologize. We would apologize. I gotta apologize.
We would apologize.
We would apologize.
We would apologize.
We would apologize.
We would apologize.
We would apologize.
We would apologize.
We would apologize.
We would apologize.
We would apologize.
We would apologize. We would apologize.
We would apologize.
We would apologize. We would apologize.
We would apologize.
We would apologize.
We would apologize.
We would apologize. We would apologize.
We would apologize.
We would apologize. We would apologize.
We would apologize. We would apologize. We would apologize. We would apologize. They're not bringing you back. It ain't happening.
Listen, you're stuck with me.
So you stay on my side.
Listen, there's no eating in the studio.
I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be, let's be honest for a second.
Oh, like it.
So we had a pizza party at the fucking thing.
Pizza party podcast.
This girl who lived down the street, comedian, her husband owned
a pizza place. So we had a pizza party podcast. She came on, brought fucking nine pies. We
chowed one of these fucking morons left a piece of pizza under the fucking couch. Okay.
Oh, yeah, it happened because it had to be Lewis or scope
just didn't clean.
Okay.
You know, every, they're supposed to clean the studio every time
when you're in there.
And of course, they do it for like two weeks and then they just
stop doing it.
And then they go downstairs and, you know, but so they left a piece
of pizza bugs.
I've a who lives upstairs sweetest woman in the world as a
thing about bugs.
She doesn't like bugs as
Nobody should in their house, okay?
It's not it's not a crazy like oh she's not she just doesn't like bugs and it was bugs
We had to do a whole big cleaning so no food in the studio ever get nothing
Nothing and then I didn't even hide a twiggy in your pocket
Where is it? I don't have the bandana. Hey, I'm gonna throw the fucking dead cat at you. The bomb dead cat. Oh my God,
are you timing was so perfect too. If that was funny, it would have worked because it was
literally you did the little side eye. I just giggled and farted.
Those are my favorite moments of life when you giggled and farted at the same time. I
uh, I look, I'm, I, something happened. I'm uptight.
Blah blah blah. Yannis comes in standing there
But the way you were eating it you were literally everybody going fuck you Fato
I'm gonna tell you what's in my head. Yes, I will fucking give you that
But this is what I saw ready every time you took a bite. You were like this.
Yeah, studio. What's up? What's happening? And I was like, what the fuck are you doing?
What sandwich was it, by the way? I have a curiosity.
Oh, swammer, I think, right? So here's the
messiest sandwich on the planet earth.
Yeah, it wasn't that messy. I had it in an aluminum foil.
And I matter, you nobody can swam show me I think I was holding it.
And so I wasn't even on the podcast.
I came with bursting and I said I want to go say hello to Bobby.
So it's not like I brought the food in and was going to keep it there.
I just ducked for a second to say hello to my heavy friend.
Listen, first of all, we, uh, no, Abby, Gabby close your mouth.
You're not getting anything from him either, okay?
I do.
I do.
He was, he was just shocked that I said heavy like it's the first fat joke that's happened on you.
Know what?
No, it's about heavy hurts.
Yeah, yeah, heavy is a heavy is a hurt for one.
I have to pick him up.
He's not light.
I'm gonna say this.
Yannis, I saw you shirtless on your little video. You better chill out Westchester boy.
Those fucking, those little snacks,
when she goes to bed with the kid,
they're starting to show titties.
Okay.
That's why I can make those jokes
because I too am fat.
You know that.
You know, you're not fat.
You're, you have,
you have fat,
gonna be fat potential. You have, like're not fat. You're, you have, you have fat, gonna be fat potential.
And you have like fucking column.
He's always gonna be that right there.
His face, he has used to be fat face, like he waved 400 pounds and then lost it.
And then he's, I'm on the way up right now actually.
Yeah, I mean, Irish kids always have like pale greeners complete.
They all look like they're fighting Corona presently, you know?
I got Corona years ago.
Fucking one of the boys.
They always have wig hair too.
Wig hair? Yeah, I guess.
Yeah, at least I have it, you know.
So.
Hey.
So come. This is what I did. I stand here, I
say, what's up, Bobby. And then I'm about to leave. And he goes,
and I don't even remember it because I was so frightened for my
life. I don't remember what he said. He goes, you, you fucking
eating a fucking show me up one bite of the time. Come outside,
let's have a fucking conversation fucking
He's he's being very liberal with the story. I mean
He's very creative right now, but I mean yes, that's that's just
I would I would when you were yelling at me in the hallway
Was there a moment
That you were yelling at me for holding a sandwich?
Literally the second and you went Bobby. I'm sorry. I
Little anyway, you were just like dude. Hey, man. I fucking
I was like I'm yelling at my friend.
Like I caught him, balls deep in my wife.
Literally ballsy.
That was the rage I had over this fucking stupid sandwich.
And I believe he didn't take a bite.
There was no sauce, he didn't spill it.
I yelled at him like he, I caught him fucking my wife and eating a pizza in the studio at the same time yeah yeah it was
it was uh I think verse you said on the podcast he goes cheesy
Jesus Bobby he didn't beat it's you didn't catch a fucking your wife or something
I did say that he it was uh that was what I first started working for you and I was like, uh, uh, oh, this is going
to be scary forever.
I had, well, I have to tell you, in the pandemic, I've gotten my shit together with my emotions
of the room.
That's just because we're not in the same room.
No, that's not true.
You annoy me in this little block more than ever.
But I have gotten my shit together. I've actually gotten, I don't know about you guys, but
I've now today was a bad day. I had a bad day today. But most of the time, I've spent a lot of this time
getting my shit together mentally and spiritually
and kind of going back to doing things I did years ago
to keep my shit together, which I'm very excited about.
Very happy about, and it's made my life 100% better,
made my home life better, you know,
because I'm stuck in here with my wife and kid and I don't, it's weird when you, like, you, I
look, I love you, I love you, I love people you don't know, it's easier to snap on them, but I don't
want to snap on my wife, I don't want to snap on my kid, I don't want to be that fucking guy,
so I had to do a lot of shit this year because I at the
beginning of this, it was getting, I was getting rough, you know what I mean? But have you done any
shit that made you better or are you just getting worse? No, I'm back in therapy with Alan who's
you know he's great because he works with comedians So he knows that we're children and he knows that we're narcissists and he knows that we're like,
you know, damaged.
And so it's nice to be back with him.
I shouldn't have never stopped to be honest with you.
And yeah, I had Corona and COVID bad.
And I had a three week old baby when I had it.
It was, you know, me and Bobby spoke on the phone.
And it was, it was rough.
And, you know, I got really sick.
So it was scary because I thought like Jesus if I die,
I'm never gonna see my little baby again. So, uh, you know, I don't know what I did to God,
but this is like the second time he's tried to whack me. Yeah.
Let me, let me, let me just cram bomb in the chat. Uh,
yell that, uh, I remember you yelling at mush, your whole bunch last week.
mush, I did not yell at you at all last week.
Did I, Moosh?
I wouldn't call that yelling.
That's how you know how bad it gets.
Is that he yelled at him and you're like, her Bobby, that's a whisper.
Yeah.
That's walking exactly right.
Crumbum.
Look at, let's be, let's be honest, be honest, yeah, and and and call them these fucking
Pussies. I mean it is a you you can't even you can't even have tone with somebody now without them getting all
Fucking busted up and fucking crying and wanting to fucking apology. You can't even have tone with somebody. I mean, it's like unbalanced sick to my stomach.
Yeah. It's true. And you know, comedy is a blood sport. And it's really wild to see people with
their with the feelings thing, this feeling thing of people like I felt this way. It's like nobody
gives a shit how you felt. You know, what this person said to you or breaking your balls or whatever
is going to be nothing compared to what you're're gonna go through in this life when your friends or family members get sick or you get sick or something actually real happens.
And yeah, comedy is a fucking blood sport. If you want to be around comedians, don't be shocked if you get stung a little bit if someone's right.
I think that's changing though dude. Call him. I mean, I'm Kelly's in orphan. What do you want him to do? He's gonna yell once in a while
I mean what the fuck you think or you know orphans either become boxers or comedians
I
How is this crumbum trust me? I know I've never yelled at you once crumbum
Fuck your mother. How's that? He's probably scared. He's trying to he's trying to get you to yell out of me
I know what he's doing column. I see the tricks. I was kind of playing into it just for the
character for the podcast. Say podcast. Can't speak. Good column. You're a fucking Irishman.
You guys don't seem to have tempers. You you you seem to have what controlled rage. I would say
an Irishman has right?
Just like even when you know you know yelling scream. It's like I'm at him Gonna fucking stick my foot in your ass and cut and then I'm gonna fuck your girlfriend in front of you
And that's what's gonna happen if you keep it up
Was that an Irishman or was that a 1940s TV detective?
I think that was a
1940s TV detective. I think that was a good idea. I'm gonna fuck your wife say I'm coming at you. I'm gonna get you strong say.
I'm asking around. I know what you did, dad, Bobby.
I don't I mean what are you saying to that, Collin? You gotta you guys uh
we I think we're bad our nail. No one goes to church anymore. So there used to be a thing where
church would control a lot of people and then that fucking bugs me dude that bothers me that people don't know and that's why I think I I have a theory that
Because people don't go to church anymore and it's a great place to be more in its horror. You're right. I'd grow up
You're right. Add, grow up.
Hey, make a hit.
Listen.
Lock it off.
You're gonna get arrested at some point anyways.
Your friend and uncle of priest.
Listen.
What the hell?
I think that.
I know that Bobby's pro child right here.
Hey.
He's saying it makes me stronger.
That's his personal.
I'm gonna kill you much.
Yeah, it makes you stronger.
It does make you stronger.
No, my point is I think a lot of people
have made politics their religion now,
because people want something to believe in.
People want to take action.
People want to be part of something
and religion filled that void for hundreds of thousands of years.
Where you would go to church when I was a kid,
you'd go to church on Sunday, you'd get your communion,
you'd go to, you know, you'd go to mass
when people die, you prayed to God, you said the prayers, and now that people don't go to church anymore
It's I think it's what what the fuck do they have?
You're right. I think the politics. Yeah politics has become religion for people and that's when you saw that storming of the Capitol
That was like, you know, they were carrying Trump flags flags it was sort of like the cult of personality like there was a team it was like a
it was like a team it was like their team lost uh oh their god lost you know because look at look at
the teams that we have that's that's when I stopped rooting for the patriots uh when they lost to
the giants the first time when that
freak be caught the ball on his head and it was this freaked-ing and I remember
how angry and fucking sad I got I left the house people were punching walls I
remember people outside and I'm looking around and everybody has that same
logo on this weird fucking head with the Patriots and we're like we're a cult.
This is I'm going to remember of a
cult. I go I could give a fuck. My life
is somewhat tragic than this. I'm
living in fucking New York. I'm trying
to make money. I'm fucking anxiety.
I'm fearful all the time and I
got to add this shit in my life because
I'm I joined a cult. This is pregnancy talk. This is supposed to just be enjoyed and who gives a fuck because
nobody on the field gives a fuck. Yeah, I mean, they're done the next day. I
think it's unavoidable. You know, we all like to think we're so unique and we're
individuals and we're such original thinkers, but we just end up falling into cliches.
Like you just can't help it.
Like, you know, you end up being a guy from Boston, you end up being a guy from Boy, you
end up being in New York, everyone looks at me like he's a real New Yorker.
You know, even looking at Gabby in her room, she's got like a post, a Matt T's poster behind
her.
It's like that's a young liberal chick, probably with an apartment on the Lower East Side
or the Upper West Side.
We just come, we become a prototype. Yeah, it doesn't get her outfit. She has nine different colors on.
Yeah, I'm in Park Slope. I had it, yeah, oh, you're Park Slope. Yeah, I mean, when you're young,
you just have a poster, Matisse. Yeah, you either have a, a dolly or a Matisse or a lava lamp.
Yeah, this is what I love, the honors. That's a big awesome. Yeah, because you just and they're both posters
You know, she got him at a college campus store. She probably had no no their prints. Hey, uh,
Call him those are painters. Oh, yeah, I didn't know. Yeah, I don't fucking yeah, my
phone player. I'm not fucking sure what you're talking about. I'm fucking I'm good will hunting of Dublin. I'm not fucking sure what you're talking about. I'm fucking, I'm good. Well, hunting of Dublin.
I'm fucking almost, yeah.
All right, just give me the band down.
Back, back, throw me.
We're gonna, you just keep rolling over.
We're not gonna treat it just like you're on Rogan.
Let's make it move.
Let's see what do you mean by the, Janice?
It just, you just watched me bomb is what you did.
And I had nowhere to go.
And it was just, you know, that was just I just bombed
Call them now in Ireland I heard that there's even the crowds if they don't like you they'll spit on you
I don't know actually there was a few people did that out of football
Game one time put on that no, there's not much not a comedy clubs. No way no the club the clubs are great in Ireland
How many clubs? No way, no.
The clubs are great in Ireland.
The clubs are great.
Well, the crowds are great, but there's not enough people
to have a good scene.
But like, there's great festivals there.
If you have an opportunity to go to Ireland
for a comedy festival, you should take it.
They have a couple of great festivals, yeah.
And it's kind of like urban crowds here.
You know, like a black audience.
Like if you're a bomb, you really bomb.
You take a right to the fucking face. But if they love you they really love you and there's a lot of heckling and they'd like yours style a lot
Actually, both of you guys because you're still a conversational, you know, it's energetic kind of acts
You know, they don't they won't a lot of American acts don't do well there if they're standing standing still just
Talent jokes. Yeah jokes, you know the robots Yeah, jokes, you know, the robots.
Yeah, yeah, well, that's pretty, that's a, that's a lot of comedy right now is
just telling joke writers, which, you know, whatever.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know where it all came from.
Like my favorite comics, you know, would be kind of like your style,
would have been gay, would have you and donenell rolling, things like that is what I like.
Yeah, and this is great too.
Thanks for throwing, you know,
you throw me in the last.
Oh, my come on, yeah, that's come on.
That was how we got a little more room in the car.
You don't have to take a cab.
Got it.
I mean, if you wanted to make it easier,
you could jump into an Uber, but if you want to come,
we could take a big step.
I mean, I'd rather take a car now and Bobby, because it's a small car, but if you want to come we can fix it. Exactly. I mean, I'd rather take on Alan Bobby because it's a small car, but if you can.
I mean, I'd rather squeeze in with Bobby though, because at least I know the cars are not
going to smell like new ports and fucking incense and that we're not going to have to put the music
up to 100 decibels, you know.
Yeah, I do know.
I've been on tour. Yeah, I used to open for Donnell, and it was like, oh, wow.
Yeah, I mean, they just listen to the music on a different, the, the, the, how loud
it goes. It's just when you say they, you're talking about, yeah, they, you know,
Sam, it's like, there is a white level of, there's a man, when you get a
stereo, it should say, here's the white max and then here's a black with woofer max. It's a big fucked up that you can't even say that
anymore like I just said it because it's true. Yeah it is fucking true and nobody will hear
it because it's not broken but hands of thing. You would have never said that I'm broken. Let's
let's be honest. Oh I would have said I don't know if you've seen my videos,
but my videos would be illegal,
like the legal in 2021.
Are you getting a lot of shit for being
Janus Poppins now?
Are you getting more people on your side?
Or you get more people fucking with you?
Nobody can think about those things.
It's hard.
I think those things be futile to cancel people because
they're so beloved by minorities and they're already so established that they don't even
know what to do with it. You know, I was like the main fan base for Marisa, just for example,
was just Puerto Rican black, Dominican, Cubans. Like it was the, you'd rarely saw white people there
if you did. Also gay people, I mean gay, they, gave people, I mean, at drag shows they do her.
So it's like everyone loved that character
because maybe it was just funny
and that's realistically how a person like that would talk.
Nowadays it's like you can't even do acting anymore.
It's like he's acting, he has talent,
like hey, Kazeri has talent.
You're like stop doing that other voice. Stop having talent
Yeah, they want
They want a cripple to play a cripple. They want
somebody yeah, they want a
Gay Puerto Rican to play a gay Puerto Rican. They but it's like it's like
Even if you can't find that person with the amount of talent that you know, maybe you'd play or you'd do the role
They don't give a fuck you can't get that role anymore
You can't you can't even if it's beloved and it was funny because I used to go on meetings
And you know it was funny because I this was like when cancel cultural cancel culture was really starting
I think it's around 2012 that really took hold it was around like that
Daniel Tosh like it's 2012. Like
2010-11 the internet was still kind of the Wild West and people shared stuff
whether it was funny. You didn't really see that Twitter mobs. In 2012 when it
really started I remember I got that show in Fusion they started looking through
my tweets. I was like what's this? What are you talking about? Yeah it's weird
right? It's really weird, man. You get scared.
I get nervous when you do something.
You're like, yeah, that'd be good.
Like Larry called me for something a month ago
and I was like, yeah, oh my gosh, shit.
I hope people don't go through my fucking,
because I mean, listen, every comic,
if you're worth your salt, should be finished.
If they wanna take you out, there
should be plenty of material. If my eyes, if you're funny, you should be, they usually
take out any comic. If they can't take you out, you're not funny to me. You're not funny.
You're an actor. Yeah. I mean, once this culture started where, whether you're a good or bad
person, depends on what you say.
I mean, it's like comedians were done because saying the wrong thing is funny.
I mean, class clowns weren't funny because they said the right appropriate thing at the right time.
It's we say the wrong thing. The funny thing is obviously the wrong thing.
And if you want, you know, it's just ironic because like comedians who used to say the right thing,
there was nobody cleaner or said the right thing or was more family appropriate than Bill Cosby and Vince Champ. And both of them liked to do a little rate bend.
But it doesn't find anything. It's like when you tend on the, it doesn't show up and go,
hey, I'm going to bite your tittle off now. No, he pretends to be your friend. He pretends to be
friendly. I need help. My arms broke and you're such a lovely lady
where you get to my Volkswagen Beetle.
And then women because their brains are smaller,
get into the Volkswagen Beetle.
And they get their kids bitten.
And now I have a pain because their brains are smaller.
Yeah, and they're not strong.
They can't.
I had a friend of mine called me, but here's the thing.
You can make fun of certain people.
There are certain people who are actually
Preferred to be on the list
You can make fun of you can make fun of straight white men
Till the cows come home. Yeah, you can go up and say whatever the fuck you want about us because we're stupid with dumb
We're fucking showvoness pieces of garbage deserve every fucking second
showvoness pieces of garbage deserve every fucking second. We're unbelievable.
We're evil doers and what I love is we're a monolith.
You know, he's from Ireland.
I'm a Greek American.
You're some sort of Irish muck from Boston and Gabby's a rock star's daughter's
and she's a Jew.
But we're all a monolith who sit around and figure out how we're going to fucking,
we're going to oppress minorities together.
White people don't give a shit about one another at all.
And now I like to kill white people more than other white people.
Except wait a second, the clan stick together.
Those people, they're the only white people that really fucking support each other.
Yeah, the worst examples of white supremacy expires white supremacy
It's never like fucking Elon Musk and Bill Gates meet in the back room going like we gotta get rid of all these
You know, it's like fucking it's some guy with three teeth gone like there below us
I always say all you need is a people in a fucking catchphrase and you're famous
Yeah, you know, I mean it's why it's hard for white people to come up with that little because white people don't support you if you're Indian Indian
People are coming to see you Chinese you are fucking set to go, you know it white dude they don't give a fuck
Unless you're doing that again then they will fill a stadium for you until you tweet about Trump and then you lose your entire fan base.
I love Jim Gavigan. I really fucking love him.
He's one of my favorites and I'm afraid he's gonna try to kill me over that because you know,
I'm making a mistake. The kid is a big kid.
He's a big guy and he'll fucking shrank you because he has fucking monkey hands.
What was the problem?
Now when you were here, did you get any of the clubs here?
I got into the stand and they took me off their
evils. So I guess I'm not in there anymore.
Why? Why did they take you off the, I mean, before they
COVID kind of around the same time.
I wouldn't want to air my dirty laundry, but, uh,
well, that's kind of what podcasts are.
I don't know if you've picked up a not MPR.
In a laundry.
I don't want to know what you're doing.
Dad that worked at a knife factory.
I just, what?
What?
But you're by the standards it used in you.
I don't know.
Why don't you ring up fucking Patrick right now and say, yeah, dude, and say,
say why isn't column on the avails anymore and see what he says
Talent
He's cooking food for inmates right now
Patrick is what did you say here we go?
Yeah, of course amuses why wouldn't I?
yeah of course I am this is why wouldn't I I would not
I'm Patrick you're on right KWD live right now I just got to tell you
I was just listening to you on uh
two-chip-chip is in what an inception this is
oh well
I got a young comic on here
he's an Irish guy
his name is column
and the column to rel
yeah column yes
and he was wondering why
Why he's not being used he said I said well you got in there. That's great
He's yeah, but they took me off the schedule. I go why he goes you're gonna have to ask Patrick for that
And I go well, let me fucking call him and ask him because I love Patrick
I'm just one of my favorite people. I mean and
I don't know if you've heard but you know comedy is illegal
and it's like fucking uh you came and have these were dining so i happen what happened i haven't
no i'm illegal why can't you stand you can't because of some uh flu or COVID or whatever it is
who who who brought who brought that over here uh i think it was
Who put who put that over here? Uh, I think it was
I just got my balls
Remember cringe, you're my you cock sucker
You got no balls now you corporate motherfucker
I can't be cringe anymore
You're a corporate you pussy
You know what?
Writing blog about based on shit I was 14 years ago
I'm taking my fucking cringe award
This is my cringe humor award And I'm fucking throwing it right the fuck away
Fuck that it means nothing to me. It's gone
Listen, I played the game and look what I got a business shut down by you know a fucking flu
I just broke that cringe humor award. It's fucking said
You can say it was a few. I just want to tell you how I'm just mad.
I'm a mad guy.
The honest said it was shut down by a communist mayor.
Say it.
Come on, you're from Long Island.
Don't fucking hide.
Let's hear it.
You're in our shelter, truck 24.
Hi, Patrick.
I'm censoring myself.
I can't stay anything anymore.
Oh my God.
This is the, this is this piece of shit started a fucking website
called cringe humor if they
would fucking do a page on hacks they would literally call comics acts on
their face it was cringe humor and now we've labeled every life
misogynist recently which is pretty spot on but you know I forgot all right
well there you go so call so call him back in, he can get back in, right?
Yeah, I haven't collected anyone's evils in September.
I mean, with the fuck, we're barely getting
over the stores, or even though, yeah, I'll hit him up.
Yeah, he'll hit you up.
I just had an issue.
I know we owe him money, but we're hemorrhaging
clock in $50,000 at least a month, so I'll pay him off.
Oh, don't tell people that, Jesus Christ, lie about that last fact.
Defuck.
Jesus, I'll pay him off.
No.
Do you want me to, I can do Monday nights at the stand
when we come back.
If you want that, that can help out.
We can barely get people to come out on fucking Friday nights.
You know, Monday's yes.
We've were, there wasn't column.
That was Janus Popus by the way. That was
Janus. I think it's a PC. I get confused. No, that's not a joke.
That was a PC. That wasn't that wasn't an insult. I don't
that was a PC. Yeah, there's silly energies very similar. Yeah.
Unless you're in a car ride for a couple hours, then they
settled down and become themselves again. Listen, is the
stand going to make it? I hope the stand makes it. You guys
going to make it? Is the stand stand gonna make it? I hope the stand makes you guys gonna make it. Is the stand gonna make it? We're trying, you know, I think we're getting like $500 from
Sabre Stages that I'll definitely help. Oh my god, I hope so. I hope you make it. I mean,
yeah, that would be a fucking shame. That is a beautiful club restaurant and I think we're gonna make it again. Not a
Donald Trump is out. Everyone's opening up again. Oh my God. So now you're a
fucking leftist. You have no. That was you read that the wrong way, Bobby. That
was that tire opposite. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. He was saying I can't be
satirical anymore. Yeah. It's you know, I'm from Long Island. I'm a white male
Yes, I can't you know, I've been deep programmed. Yeah, I mean, yeah, they're pretty spraught on with who you are. I mean come on
You're a you're a white male from Long Island who's a hockey fan. I mean you don't have to be a CIA agent
Oh, which side of the ballot you check my friends
to be a CIA agent who which side of the ballot you check my friends. I was having metal. I'm in the pandemic. I've been programming
retro video game system. So yeah, I've done that record.
Yeah, and we know you're way at your nose. Outside of your mask. We know who you
voted for. We know that that hand goes to firmly to the right.
All right. So listen, he's going to call you. You're going to get caught on when he's back and pay him
his money back when you're back in full swing, right?
Is this because Conor McGregor got his shit rock?
Did I owe him like, hey, watch this.
This is the first time you're getting this joke stolen.
Hey, that was an early stoppage.
Yeah.
Good job. This is your chance to get out of the stand.
You put your hand in.
Yeah.
You put your hand in.
Yeah.
The time and I was shy.
I'm a great.
All right.
You're in the fucking head.
I'm not getting Patrick.
I love you.
That's my.
I'm 20 degree weather.
Fucking have him text me.
Listen.
You're in your head. Colin getting Patrick. I love you. That's my own 20-degree weather fucking having text me listen you're in your head column Patrick like
Yeah, I fucking you all wound up in your stupid Irish head and you think you're out of the stand and he likes you
Receipts I haven't collected anyone to bail since September
You don't have to listen you're the fucking head booker at the stand you don't have to explain yourself this much to this
I'm a comedy fan first. That's how I go. I've always operated. That's right. You are comedy fan flesh
Yes, you this Patrick. What has happened to fucking Gabby's come on in come on in
I used to fucking wait for that every Friday at the hurt the live show the stand story remember that
Yeah, oh my Instagram live show. Yeah, you said come on in
the stand story. Remember that? Oh, yeah. Gabby. Oh, my Instagram live show. Yeah, when you say come on in. Okay, we're down for
that. Oh, good. All right. I'm glad you're still about
comedy, buddy. How's your how's the personal life going?
Personal life is
I actually stopped that Instagram show myself and I should do it again. Yeah, I used to like you were drinking wines and come on in come on in
I thought I thought you were making you move away from Bobby. I was supporting. Yeah, why would he call back?
Just tell your phone died or just say hey, I'm a seller guy can hang up on you know problem. Hey buddy. What's up?
Just tell your phone diet or just say hey, I'm a seller guy can hang up on you no problem. Hey buddy. What's up? I'm
Love you. I love you. I love you. Goodbye
Yeah, you that
Collin my got you back in at the club and I hang up on that piece of shit for you. Right. That was good buddy
Appreciate him. I'm pretty sure
The brass stand is my favorite club because I'm not passing the sellers.
I'll say that.
All right.
Listen.
Here's a deal.
I'm going to get real questions with these two assholes.
I want to go a little more deeper with this rogue and appearance with you.
We're going to do the extra 10 right now.
All you people who want to see the extra 10, simple thing.
Patreon.com, Sasha Robert Kelly In the pay in the pandemic
This is what I'm doing. I'm in here five nights a week with the culture and Kelly show
We do the jerk off party Fridays and
The extra ten on the wikie WD is always at patreon.com slash Robert Kelly
I want to thank all you people for being a member of that
Joining up and being a part of it because I get to fucking live and survive and and put
all this stuff on for you all this this extra content for you guys every week.
Yannis what do you got going on you got any gigs? Of course you got your
podcast mystery hyenas which is fucking bin blowing up for the last couple
years I'm very proud of you two son of a bitches and you also got a new
podcast that you're doing. What's that called?
It's called Long Days. Yani Long Days, Long Days. You could go to YouTube, Yani Long Days.
It's on every platform except iTunes at the moment, but check it out as well. And check out
my special if you haven't blowing the light, which is on YouTube. I appreciate it.
And Colin, what do you got? But it befied spots at this stand in September.
But they have been booking shows. They just they soly's lying, right? Anyway. Oh, well,
I mean, I can't believe he didn't say that while he was on the fucking phone. I just realized,
well, because it's admitting, I mean, it's sad. I don't think he's really doing shows.
It's just they're just they're taking a veils, but they're not doing it shows because you can't.
So they're not that are not doing a shows.
Okay.
I don't want to be a wrap.
They're doing shows.
I sure you don't want to be a rat, but they're doing shows.
Are they doing shows or they're not doing shows?
I'm trying to help the kid out right now.
Try to help the kid out.
He went back on it.
And be able to but you can get your
podcast called the Wizard of Pod.
And it streams on YouTube on Fridays at
20 30.
My YouTube channel is YouTube
for slash column.
Terrell.
And then so the Wizard of Pod is available
everywhere.
That's all I've got.
I like it.
What's it about?
Is it? It's not about fucking anything. Just like it. What's it about? Is it?
It's not about fucking anything, just whatever's in the news really.
Oh really?
Yeah, because podcasts, that's good.
Because most podcasts now are trying to break things down into little increments.
We're going to be talking about this and we're going to be talking about.
We're going to be talking about, you know, what do you like?
What signs are the best signs across America?
I think stop signs. Oh really, I like a yield. Yeah, well, you know, what do you like? What signs are the best signs across America?
I think stop signs.
Oh, really, I like a yield.
We're going out at this Sunday on signs.
So I think of that you just fucking yapping.
Good feel.
Gabby, what do you got?
Hi, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter.
At Gabby is Brian.
I have a podcast called Unabashed Podcast.
That's on Patreon as well. And then I have a podcast called Unabashed Podcast. That's on Patreon as well.
And then I have a comedy newsletter called,
You've Got Mail Bitch.
And you could sign up for that in the link in my bio.
Gabby, your apartment, it looks like Mr. Furley's apartment
on three's company, by the way.
It's just stuck in the late 80s.
I understand that.
You've put it firm.
Yeah, it looks like my ex girlfriend who you still live on the upper west side.
And it's just, it's a typical, I mean, whenever you see a Matisop, you know, you know that
there's going to be a book by Gloria Steinem on the coffee table.
Yeah, I mean, you know, I don't know if you vote to the left, but that apartment definitely
votes to the left.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But she fucks to the right.
You know that.
That's where I am.
Hey, Moosh, what do you got besides a cute little adorable face?
Uh-huh.
Follow me at at Mike Vs.
Warres, and I'll be doing some stuff on YouTube with Crickstown.
Oh, you sound very excited to be a part of this show.
Um, all right.
Let's say what the fuck was actually pretty cherry.
Yeah, I thought it was being cute.
Yeah.
Oh, fuck both of you.
Is you know what?
You're such fucking pleasers.
No, I did.
He sounded great.
She's right.
Fucking column.
Fuck you.
You guys don't know.
I know. Micah, You guys don't know.
I know.
Micah, you eating a swarm of sandwich right now?
What's the problem?
Hi, Paul.
I don't want to yell it.
I'm sorry.
I just yelled at you.
I apologize.
That was yelling.
In 2021, going, I fuck you.
That's yelling.
I don't want to yell at you.
I apologize.
Let me bring my tone down.
That's Gabby's apartment, by the way. yelling. I don't want to yell at you, Masha'a, I apologize. Let me bring my tone down.
That's Gabby's apartment, by the way.
Those are all my outfits, too. Bobby, I'll talk to you to death. I miss you, Bobby. I want to hang out and smoke a stick with you. I love you to death. You're one of the greatest people on
the planet. I really need that. I miss you and I love you and I want to see you soon.
All right, here we go. We're going to read the names. We're going to read the names, make
them big mush. All right, so here's the deal. Anybody with 10, but who everybody's 10 bucks?
I mean, we got to, I do this every week. It seems to be what the fans want you get a little something extra. So call them and
and Janice Janice where'd you go? I'm right here. I can't see it. There you are. Janice.
So like for instance if you get a nice $10 one you got to give them like a 10
whew whew whew 10 something. I don't know what you do but you can read the
first 10 one. I'm can read the first ten one.
I'm gonna read the first two and then,
Janice, you read the last, the first ten.
So, John Hicks and Nick Lane,
thank you for becoming a member.
Janice, next name. Adam Dawes, buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh Oh That's only five ten you need ten
You gotta do ten of oh Troy
Justin McDonald David T. No, you gotta do you gotta do ten you gotta do ten each
Those are five okay, so try and get
That's only that's
Save save David for column. I want to hit columns
Justin McDonald thanks for being a member buddy. What do you got your next column? What do you got? how about this look? Let's see if this works David T
Yeah, everyone of my broadcasts
All right, and here we go right here. Rocket Fellow.
Rocket Fellow, thanks for being a member and GIF, Stepokaharib.
Thank you for being a member.
You guys are the best.
The Patreon members.
I hope you enjoy the extra 10 on the podcast.
We put it up in the Patreon.
You want to watch this show live, unedited.
You want to see Culture and Kelly Friday show. You want to see all show live unedited? You want to see Catherine Kelly Friday show?
You want to see all the other shows we do? I do five shows a week on the jerk off party on Saturday night
We let you all the patreon's fan come hang with us in the zoom meeting and shoot the shit for a couple hours
It's only on patreon.com says Robert Kelly make sure you go to my only show left in the fucking year
I got two now. I got the 30th
I will be at the Wall Street Theater in Milwaukee, Connecticut for a live paper view.
What's that noise? What is that noise? Live paper view. There you go. It's cut off mush.
You can't see there you go
Tickets available. What's that fucking noise? Gabby stop. It's on me. Oh, it's hate you fucking guy. Um, all right, so there you go.
Saturday, January 30th, APM.
Uh, Timmy tickets are available.
Limited seating.
You can come see me.
I'm going to go to the next one.
I'm going to go to the next one.
I'm going to go to the next one.
I'm going to go to the next one.
I'm going to go to the next one.
I'm going to go to the next one.
I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. Um, hi, there you go. Saturday, January 30th, APM.
Uh, Timmy tickets are available.
Limited seating.
You can come see me, but you can actually, you, all over the world.
If you're from Columns, hometown and fucking Ireland, fucking down on fucking, uh, James
Street, they have fucking St. Patrick's Cathedral, whatever the fuck church he's part of.
Uh, you can go see me there just order it live and
then I'm gonna be in a rubah doing shows and I do have a deal if any of you fan wants to go if
you it's during February vacation you can go down I'll be in a rubah from the 18th to the 28th of
February doing some shows trying to support that little island trying to get some
business back there. So if you guys want to go I can hook you up with a deal at the hotel
for fans of mine. Very cheap, it's high season, the rooms are very expensive but I got an
awesome deal. So just hit me up in the Patreon if you want to go. And Gabby, what do you
got?
Um, everyone subscribe to my comedy newsletter. It comes out once a month. It's comedy essays.
And you could subscribe and then link in my bio on my Instagram and Twitter.
At Gabby is Brian.
Jason sees that the pay-per-view would have been perfect to promote Unbroken.
Woo! Woo! Yay! I'll murder her. I'll just kill somebody. That's what I'll do.
I'll murder a whore, and then I'll do the time.
I'll write a book.
I'll become better, and then I'll jump on.
By that time, column will be the fucking next big thing.
You need to get canceled.
Canceled is the key.
I'll cancel the columns.
You'll cancel me.
Do you know what that scares me when you say that?
No, I'm not actually gonna do it,
but if you need me to do it, I'll do it.
Yeah, no, but you actually will do it
if you would further your career.
That's not true when you need to stop saying that.
Yeah, she totally wouldn't.
She wasn't raised that way.
What the hell's wrong with you?
Yeah, why are you taking her side, you cuck?
Because I mean, she's got a dad who I'd like to meet.
Well, I can get a group of your cards, right? You will. Because I mean she's got a dad who I'd like to meet
You well and if fucking dad agrees with me more than her
I mean, do you think I'm fucking doing this podcast and talk to you? I want a picture with her dad
I mean, what do you want everything you got Rogan you got the fucking all things you got fucking hyenas now you want her dad you're not taking you're not taking that from me okay now you you can have it he's a
sweet guy Colin what do you got between besides eyes that are too round and
close together
sure that wasn't direction of me well Kirby both yeah no it's not that's
meaningful that's great and no you do have you would do have doll eyes. Yeah
17th century doll eyes
If you're on patreon watching this I have a patreon start at a dollar. It's called. I need to pay my girlfriend back
Please donate
It's good you my tears my first tears. Give me this money so my girl doesn't kick me out and date a fireman.
I paid me for a fireman. Those guys are fucking hot. Yeah, you're not playing that box now, but you can't back out, Bobby.
Yes. What the fuck? What are you? The mob? Yes, I can't.
Yes, what the fuck what are you the mob? Yes, I
Once I explain the scam to him
Put you in here beside Doug Stanhope I don't want to be besides him either. Why are we kidding? Is your enemy sober? They're on that fucking thing Dan Soda T-Box two boxes. He's got some now. He's good
He's gonna win. You know that that
He's got some. No, he's gonna win.
You know that that last time.
I know.
We're too asshole.
He doesn't even listen.
Well, you know, I can definitely back out.
You don't even know anything about me.
As soon as I hit stop on this,
I will never see you again, as I choose to.
What?
I thought we kind of hit it off.
All right.
No, of course we hit off.
I'd like to have you back on again.
I'd love to come on anytime.
All right, cool.
I will, yeah, I'm not going to buy a box. Go
find yourself, but, uh, fair enough, fair enough. Alright, you want me to buy one for myself? How
about I buy one for the YKWD staff? Perfect. That's not going to happen. Okay, yeah. I was like, yeah,
okay. Yeah, honest, I love you, buddy. I love you, buddy. Thanks for having me on. Yeah, thanks
for coming on. Make sure you check out his episode of Rogan.
I heard it was amazing. I haven't listened yet. I saw clips of it, but of
course he's one of my favorite people. I just love him because he's so fucking
smart. Such a funny motherfucker. Always funny, but he's got a he's just a
honorable and terrible fucking real man. Just I love you to death kid
So and Gabby have a great night mush. What do you got baby?
Follow me at my first words on Instagram. I know one of those times. He's just not gonna be there
He's gonna be just sucking Greg Stone off
Some leaving you Bobby for Greg Stone listen lady bugs ladybugs in the crowd. You guys are the best tomorrow. I'll be back with my caltha at seven o'clock, seven, 30 tomorrow night with Calthar and Kelly. My number one best friend, Lucky Cork, suck a Tampa Bay Bucket ears going to the
Super Bowl. What the fuck? Anyways, you guys are the best fans of the world. We'll see you next week. You know what, dude? We'll see you later.
You've been listening to the YKWD podcast.
Thanks for listening.
Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, you you you you you