Rooster Teeth Podcast - A Case of Lube Fraud - #740

Episode Date: March 1, 2023

Join Blizzb3ar, Griff, Ky Cooke, and Chris Demarais as they talk about fraudulent lube, eating plastic, Tire quality interventions, body counts, and more!  Already FIRST Member and need your Private RSS feed for this show? Go here: http://bit.ly/FIRSTRSS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers, Will Arnett and Anthony Mackie comes the new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motor-mouthed outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church, twisted metal, streaming now, only only on peacock. This is a rooster teeth production. Welcome to RTPod. I am going to be your host today, Blizzbear, and today with me I have. Hi everyone, I'm Kai. Hi, I am Chris DeBarris. I'm Griff. And I'm Blizz. Hell yeah, I did it. Yeah, that was so good. Yeah, it was so good. It was so good. Yeah, this is my first time hosting an RT pod. Is it? OK, then I won't give you my unsolicited advice.

What is it? Well, it was it. No, I'll take a picture. It was just like, I know you. And I'm like, oh, you could tell you're a little anxious to me getting it. Because you're just like this. You're like trying.

It's almost as if you're reading the script in your head as you were saying it. Yeah. Instead of just feeling it. This is like a big podcast. I'm just like sitting. But you're a big deal, man. I you were saying it, I said just feeling it. This is like a big podcast. I'm just like saying it. But you're a big deal, man. I know.

I didn't even Gus is big chair. It goes to your big chair. But aren't you big taller than Blizz? No, nothing that's taller than me. Nothing that's taller than me. Okay, then you do, I guess we'll say it goes to taller. Yeah, I'm in the big chair and Gus is, you know. But if I was gonna put money on it,

I bet you would win in a fight. If you'd just like, yeah, it would be just like. It's super weird, because I feel like Chris and I relate a lot. I want to be Chris when I grow up. Weird enough? Oh, you don't want that. No, okay, never mind. I want to defy God every day.

Yeah, like Chris does. Like Chris does every day. Yeah. I feel like I'm intruding on a circle of STF in this year, and I don't know. Thank you. Oh, do I have one? Yeah.

Wait, you said two, right? Yeah. Cab the black cherry. Okay, I need to start drinking this now so I can like drive later. I'm so like, I is a lightweight. I'm so lightweight. I took high out a couple, not took her out. We were out like a couple weeks ago.

You were a problem and you were a problem. She had, she had one white claw, one pin her out. We were out like a couple weeks ago. You were a problem and you were a problem, right? She had, she had one white cloth, one pinucalata, and you were like, I got a weight, I got a dry coat. Wait, was that the night that Chris was with us too? No. No. This was a karaoke.

Oh, okay. Yes, that was a good night. But the time that Chris was with us, I was also a problem, because I'm the type of, so if something you need to know about me. You're a problem. I am a problem addict. In a sense of like, I like getting people together.

Yeah. And then once they're together, my immediate thing is, do you want a green tea shot? Yeah. And then we'll all get that thing. It's not I think it's a beautiful. That's beautiful. Like also I do that now too. I whenever I'm with people I make them I make them do two things. If we're at cheerups, I make them do a green tea shot. That's the other place and they make them do the tequila shot It's so nice people together and then making them drink alcohol. It's fun It's like that's like that's beautiful. Yes, and that's why I see myself as the hero at the end of the day Because okay, so I have

We show up the Blizzard's house and while we're there, you know, you you pregame. No, no, no, no, no, it's pregames a strong word. Let's start by saying I am a lightweight. And by lightweight, that means I can honestly have two drinks and be good, not drunk, but like just good, right? not drunk but just good, right? Yeah. But that night, we started two tequila shots, courtesy of Blizzbear, because we're at his house. He said, take one, I'm like, what?

No. And he gave, first of all, he gave me this double shot glass and said, this is a shot and I said, that was not. What's the volumetric, like, what's the film? I don't know. If you can film all your metric, I'll tell you. Volumetric? I don't know. I don't know if you can So volumetric I'll tell you volumetric I don't know half ounce and a half It's a couple no it was one of tall ones

It was like this big but it was skinny those are those are And he fell it to the top those are like two ounces aren't it? It's like extra half yeah right it's like it's like a smoker a double shot. Yeah anyway. I refused You said you said thank you. I'm good. Thank you. Thank you. I'm good. They gave me this smaller one I took a shot of small one and I was like, oh, burn. And then as we're leaving, it was like, over here, another.

And I said, oh, no, no, no. You got to make a fun of me. You're a road boy. So we took on that. Was that the time we had the crazy Tesla with the aerospace engineer dynamic design? Remember, VK was in the back with Squid in the Tesla that had the aerospace engineer design?

I think that was a different- I think that was it. No, that was it. Is that it? I don't remember Squid at Kiriyoki. I have no memory. No, it wasn't Kiriyoki. It was when we hung out with the-

Chris is when I met Kiriyoki. Yeah, yeah. Yes. So so many nights. Already two shots in. And then also I get my own drinks. So that's three. And also.

You know the drink. The fruity. Then also, please give me, she's like, well you want. I said anything with tequila. Cause I'm trying, at least I'm trying to keep the tequila going. Yeah. You give me the tequila drink. I'm like cool.

Awesome. Also, BK gets all the green tea shots. Cool, still fine. Delicious. And at this point, I'm like cool, awesome. Also, BK gets all the green tee shots. Cool, still fine. Delicious. And at this point, I'm like, I know I'm buzzed because I can feel it in my body. You weren't. But I'm not acting, but like, I don't feel buzz.

Like, I know when I feel buzz, I get dizzy. You said, I'm not drunk. And I was like, okay. I said, it's like, I know I'm drunk, just based on how my body feels. But I knew your head was bad. My head wasn't, like, I wasn't, things weren't circling the way I needed them to be circling in my mind.

So then our motto goes, well you want, I'm like, I'll take a take a take a take a take a take a take. And then, this goes, I got a whole bunch of take a take a take a take and I'm like, okay, take a take a take a take and I'm gonna keep it in the consistency. And then we go to the next spot

and then Chris goes, well you, I'm like, take a take a take a take a take and I get that. It's not a good friend. Mine's a keep it. I'll take it to you. And I get that. I'm not good for that. I'm not good for you. Now I'm eight drinks in. I'm like, this is it. I'm like, that can be transcendent.

That can be transcendent. I transcendent. Chris is dangerous though. Chris is dangerous in a different way than I'm dangerous. Because I'm dangerous early. Yeah. Chris is dangerous later in the game. Yeah.

Yeah. Chris is a let's keep going. Yeah, Chris is the one a.m. Let's break again. I will say Chris wasn't that for me though, because I'm here. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm gonna throw up he's like, Kai you don't need to do it. So you were very good for me that night. I don't want, yeah, I don't want people to get drinking vodka. Yeah, I'm gonna have fun. Yeah, it's like a fun. Yeah, it's a fun. Yeah. Can I be honest about something that I know? Yeah.

About, okay, so Chris, you and your partner offered my partner to Kiela Shot. And he was like, yeah, I'll do it. And he pretended to take it in front of you. Oh. So that's agnus. Did you ask your partner if you could tell the story? Where'd it go?

I don't know where it was. Wait, was that the shot that I was supposed to make? And then it probably was. It was a shot that no one wanted. I want to take it in there. So her basically what I'm saying right now is that I owe you a shot. So you're telling me the shot that I would have thrown up and. So the shot hurts. So Chris, basically what I'm saying right now is that I owe you a shot. So you're telling me the shot that I would have thrown up

and up on the floor anyway? Anyway. Where did it end up? Maybe I shouldn't have told that story. Yay. Chris, I owe you a shot. I owe you a way to kill a shot. It means that you have to hang out with me.

You have to hang out with me. Yeah, yeah. I think we all have to hang out. And when you say you owe me one, that means... You drink one. Yes, I'm gonna, oh, Chris, I... Yeah, I'm gonna drink it. I'm gonna drink it.

Okay, you know that. Why didn't JP just pass it off? I don't know. I'm the queen of like, I have a very trusting face. I'm the queen of like, walking up to a random girl on the bar and being like, oh my God, okay, so like, this is the one that if I drink it, I'm gonna throw up tomorrow. so like, do you want this?

Like, I'm the queen of that. I'm so good at doing that. Yes, your rally girl voice was so good. Thank you, so good. Thank you, I've honed it over many years. I'm the queen of that. I'm very good at making myself non-threatening. You know what you do.

What? You take the shot, and if you have to get a cup with a straw in it, you take a shot, and then you go immediately for the chaser, just push it, just just like that. But then you're, I'm already for the chaser. Oh. Push it. Oh, down. But then you're, I'm already tasting it. I might as well swallow it. Why don't you just pour it into the cup?

That's a jackwash. That's nasty. It's backwash, but like, yeah. I saw it on a bartender trip. Yeah, it's bartender trip. This is bartender trip. So the bartender doesn't get drunk. Yeah, I want to, like, when there's like a, like a bachelor at party.

I was like, take a shot, bitch. And it's like, I already paid for it. It's yours. And then they go, okay. Or if you're like a spy. Or if you're a spy? Like if you're a spy. And you think it's poisoned. No, I was gonna say,

and you like, you need to keep your wits about you. Because yeah, you know, like, because you don't, but you gotta be here. No, if you're a spy, you know how to take your alcohol. Sure, but also, Oh, seven. Exactly, but you also need to keep your wits about you. So sometimes you need, you can't take, you can just need to keep your what's about you. So sometimes you need you can't take you have no.

I was just by that was bad. That was very convincing. Can you tell me? Can you look me in the eyes and tell me that you're not a spy? I don't want to. I think. Spy for who you tell us. I can't.

I will say I was a super biocom. We all have to acknowledge, though, this setup right now is a very precurious time for Chris that I meant to be. Probably should not pressure or push anymore to. Yeah, I spy for what? For what?

Chris SQL by racial confirm. Stop. Cut it out. We have two more days of black heritage, but we're're gonna keep it one One and a half no today's more and a half way over Shoot you're counting counting 20s the 27th right now as I know I'm counting just the 28th tomorrow It's five feet. It's over

My my day just started actually thank you little soon So Chris I owe you a shot and I wanted to be honest about it. Thank you. I appreciate that. Now we have to hang out and party again. Yeah, unfortunately. I can't. Oh, no. Oh, no. I got a hangout. Chris. Damn. No. Yeah. No one's going to say Jinx. Jinx. You're supposed to knock on wood. No, you're supposed to. I don't know. Knock on wood is for luck. Yeah. Jinx, knock on the use for some knock on wood. No, you're not. I don't know knock on wood is for luck.

Yeah, Jinx knock on wood touch grass. Huh? Touch grass. Jinx knock on wood touch grass. Eat ass. That's how it goes. That's a great way. I like that. I've never heard of that.

That's what the kids did. Jinx, she told me a cook. That's it. No, this is like when we were eating lunch and I was talking about TikTok toe. You said cat. And I was like, know what cat is this is like when we were eating lunch and I was talking about TikTok toe. You said cat. And I was like, You know what cat is in TikTok toe?

When you like, No. Someone's gonna relate to it. No, no. If I get one, if I get one, if I get one, it's when you do TikTok toe

and you play with someone else, but there's no one wins at the end. So you just write C in the TikTok toe. You said you should cat though. It's cat because it's cat. I've never heard of it. Either. Why? Because a cat can never taste, and it's exact. You said you should cat that. It's cat because it's cat. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it.

I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it.

I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it.

I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never a no it's not a win no one it's a draw. So why is that the definition of a draw? But why is that? Why is that? I've never heard of this. This is what cats game. Yeah, someone saying cats game. I've literally never heard of this before. I've literally never heard of this before. He's making this up. I'm not making this up. He's not. Just because he repeated you or she repeated whoever said whatever. Someone repeated you.

How do we know that Lewis and I talking about cat Mario right now, which is an actual real thing again? Hey, Blizz. Yeah, it's your hosting. Can you ask Chris about those stories? Chris what I heard you got stories. No, I was just I have I just write down things that happen What's the thing is you have a list? I have a question. Can we actually hear the entire list first? And then we all vote for the one that we want to hear. Yeah, sure. OK.

And I'm going to only, these are only ones that I haven't told. OK. And she's it. Lubb fraud. She's in Lubb fraud different. Those are two different ones. OK. I was hoping maybe I would have to.

Splinter herb. Shaving outside. Shaving, not keep going. Poop eating. Richard, Drifus hunt. And then Booger ears. And then Booger table. That's a lot of booger's. Booger's my dog for clay. A book or a dog.

A book or a dog for Clay Fish. A book or a dog. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know. I would love to know. I would love to know. I would love to know. I would love to know.

I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know. I would love to know. I would love to know.

I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. I would love to know about Lou Fraud. No, okay, so Lube fraud please I'm a fraud so I A while ago ordered a thing a lube. How big? It was a big one You know big it didn't have a pump. Yeah, pump Pumpers please is a pump the pump. Okay, and I think it's It's one more. Yeah, I didn't know they sold lube, but they do

I didn't know that they sold good lube. Oh, yeah, it's pretty good one. Yeah, I didn't know they sell blue, but they do. I didn't know that they sold good. Loub. Yeah, it's pretty good. I'll tell you the branch. Sure. No, it's a bad. It's liquid.

Yeah. Fuck yeah. It's good. It's good. Water based always. And I ordered it. And when it arrived, I wasn't ordering for anything particular. It wasn't like a special occasion.

Yeah. You just have on the end. Yeah, you always literally have on hand. You always do. You always do. And so I'm moving my back. I got to move in my back. So I, and now I think it might have been a two pack.

Oh, just because it's his and hers. Well, just, yeah, yeah, just to do those. Just, you know, it's like a two pack because it was like, that's how they sell it. It's a lot of loop. It's a lot of loop. That's like two months worth of loop. Yeah, I wasn't putting in time.

But like, it arrived, but it was damaged. Like, the loop everywhere. It was just like a box of spilled Loub. Yeah, it was a slick box. That is disgusting. Yeah, yeah. Why is that disgusting? I think what it happened is it's been dropped.

There's something. And so, like the thing's cracked. That's more disgusting than the things you're doing using Loub for. Absolutely. Loub out of context is disgusting. Loub out of context is disgusting. So, I'm in context.

Loub out of context. You know, I was like, oh, all the sucks, right? So I was like, went on to the, because I ordered it online and I was like, Walmart and I was like, it was all fun stuff. Yeah, I was like, hey, got these Lou products were damaged. Can I get, you know, like, and I was like, oh, you want to send more, I'll just take a refund because at this point, I didn't want it.

Yeah. And then they're like, okay, actually, you need to contact the distributor for this. I'm like, the online storefront or the liquid. No, it's in their Walmart's distributor of the Lou, which was, and I was like, that sounds like a lot. I was like, can y'all just like refund it or whatever? Like, I don't really want to be emailing people. And they're like, well, we'll reach out to them and let you know, if it's not refunded,

let us know. We'll contact you back. But we should be able to take care of that. I was like, cool. And then I didn't think much of it. Like a month or two go by. Two months. Well, yeah, I don't know how long it time doesn't matter. But I realized I was like, oh,

they never like refunded it. And I was like, well, I guess I'll like hit up. Next time I was like buying some, I was like on Walmart, I was like, oh, hey, they never did that thing. I was like, oh, yeah, I don't know. You need to like contact them directly. I'm like, God damn it.

But part of me was like, and this is a waste of time, you need to like contact them directly. I'm like, God damn it. But part of me was like, and this is a waste of time, but it was also like $50 a loop. Yeah. No, no, no. It's really expensive. And so I was like, all right, whatever,

this is annoying. So give me the email and I'm like, hey, I bought this loop on Walmart. Can you help me? Hi, I'm Chris. Hi. I'm Chris. Yeah. Hi.

I host a podcast about playing crashes with my best friend Gus. I bought your product and it was wet when I got it. You helped me please. I was already in there. And they were like, my hands are so slippery. I can barely touch this. And so I emailed and they were like, they were like, you need to contact Walmart. I'm like, not already did that man.

Like twice. I hate when they give you the run around. They were trying to you need to contact Walmart. I'm like, not already did that, man. Like twice. I hate when they give you the run around. They were talking about it. It makes me violent. And then they're like, what happened? I was like, it arrived damaged. And they're like, they're like, can you prove it? And I was like, actually, yeah, I can't,

because I had a picture of it. So I was like, here's a picture of the broken loop. And they're like, okay, well. Well, you're like, look at the time stamp. Yeah, I was like, and this is, this point, it was like six weeks. Yeah. And they're like, okay, well. You're like, look at the time stamp. Yeah, I was like, and this is, this point, it was like, it was like six weeks. Yeah. And they're like, all right, we'll follow up.

We're gonna have to, no, they said to them, you got a contact Walmart. And I said, God damn it. Why did I do that? And so then I go to Walmart again, and this is weeks apart, because I forgot about it this point. My name is Chris, and I have sex,

and because of that, I bought your product, and it was bad. And then I was like, so this is my money, so this is my third time contacting Walmart and they were like I was like three months ago Because like weeks went by cuz I got busy and I forgot about it. You got a loop since then? Yeah, that's why I was like that was different That's why I was like I didn't want her. I didn't want it to reach Did you get it from Walmart again? No?

Amazon yeah, no Amazon You get it from Walmart again. No. No. I just don't know. No. Amazon. Yeah. No Amazon. New Loop, unbusted. And then Maseos. So then Walmart was like, hey, we tried, but you really got to contact them.

I'm like, I'm already, so then I was like, I'm on the good, hey yo, Walmart said that you got to do it. It's giving me Wells Fargo. Yeah. And then, and then they were like, we can't find you in the system. I'm like, I don't care. Just like, it just have to you just kept spamming the picture of the broken Blue balls

It's you and then it's a point look and then then they'd up saying The end end result was like yeah, we can't find your system just go to your credit card and report it as fraud and I was like really Like that was the best solution Couldn't you just couldn't they just send you another one? Yeah. That would have been so much easier than I guess it could have. But that point I didn't want to, because I did buy. I hear a noise.

Did you buy the different one? You don't want support. Yeah, you don't want support. I had to put that brand anymore. No. Well, no, I was, this is a good brand. I was all solid brand. But so at that point, I had to report,

and this is all about Loub, and I hate every interaction, but also I was like, the part of that principle of me, it was. My name is Kristen, I am very dry right now. I am so, all because of your personal changes. About the way, this, about this, I'm so blue, about this. And so every email, and then I do like, dear company, why did this bus, but I didn't,

but me, but me, that's good. The Loub bus is in the bus, but I didn't. But then, that's good. The loop is in the box, but not me, and I'll tell you why. But then, to report it for fraud on my credit card, they're like, hey, can you send proof of this? So I had to send screenshots of this. The conversation. In the pictures of the blue.

And I'm like, this is not worth my time. But the principle of it was I was like, I'm not paying for this busted ass. No, it's expensive. Loube is expensive, especially that brand. Now I had like three, I was like three, my bank, my credit card, everyone in the market. And then this one,

Loube distributor, this is the whole thing that was like dumb. Did you leave him a terrible review? No, I just, I thought I was dumb. You should've left him out there. Never buying Lou but Walmart again. You shouldn't. No, support local source. Yeah, support local.

So you should, look, it just drives the adult megaplex with three X's. They got that super cheap there. Yeah. Have y'all ever had to like return an item that had a callback, mostly for your related? Yeah, so for example. Well, like a recall.

Yeah, recall, there we go. I just throw it away, I don't return it. Yeah, me too. No, I call that company, I'm your manager. Or wait, but I am part of the codex, the U by codex class action lawsuit. So I did get money back from that. I was a part of the plastic balls

found in the Chipahoy Chewis. Oh, yeah. Well, that's one you for eating chuees. Yeah Have you ever took chipahoy chuees put them in the microwave and microwave them for like But have you ever taken a normal chips of hoi and put it in the microwave for 15 seconds? No, I haven't honestly you should try that and you'll never eat a chewy again. Chewies are like let me just like they put xantham gum in there man. It's some sort of goo. Oh they do It's definitely not a natural chewy. No, you want water

It's not good. It's an artificial chew What's it chewy? It's a chip away chewy the red pack the jizz away in the redippable, chooie. The red pack. It's just a white in the red pack. You don't want it. It's like, there's thinner in the chooie. I thought I was living my best, like, anyway. No, no, no, no. So it doesn't matter. You're sick and teach you.

That thing, that record. Ormosist, just kidding, no. Blaine's been calling me. The Blaine has been calling me. It's full of my glasses. Yeah, so I ended up getting a cookie. I bit into it and like it was just really hard. It was like a plastic ball came out of it. And it's full of my glasses. Yeah, so I ended up getting a cookie. I bit into it and it was just really hard. It was like a plastic ball came out of it.

And it's on the news that was like, hey, if you bought anything with this batch number, like there's plastic in it. So like, And you're like, oh, it was just all this before I ever got it. Yeah, I was just all that before because I've already swallowed a full cookie at this point. So I'm like, okay, whatever.

No, the balls. Where would they come from? Something, I guess they got like mixed in. Do they make the cookies in the same in the BB in the BB factories? Yeah, in the BB factory. Was it a thing where someone knocked over, like,

like, it's knocked over my plastic balls? No, someone can, no, someone who's super into airsoft, they went to the office that day, but they put on their airsoft fast and said they're cookie-vests. So they went to go grab the chocolate chips to put in there, and they're like, oh no, my pellets. No. No, so it's like going dump it in all the chocolate chips.

No, no, those are plastic balls. No, no, no, no. They shouldn't put the plastic ball bag next to the chocolate chip bag. It's okay, no one buys chewy chips of hoi that's gonna be fine. And honestly, if they do buy them, maybe they deserve it. Yeah. Yeah. That's fucked up yeah yeah

yeah I realized that I'm I should stop drinking how much is it it's how but uh-uh uh-uh can I help you kidding me it's like here. I just I shouldn't have anymore Hey, you don't need it Anyways, I ended up contacting the company the food company and what they what they say Oh, okay, this tires are bold and flat and he's gonna die on the road, and we'll say you're the most form. My car's in the back. Also, while that's happening, can I, I'm gonna strip a little bit

because I'm not from the things I should have been drinking. From, from a quarter of a week. From a quarter of a week. Did you get food today? I had a clementine. A go. They're good.

We'll talk about later. I got food back, or they gave me Betty Crocker coupons, I think, because I think it's an American Crocker. Here's five free boxes. Five free boxes of things. And then it was $2 all over the place. A non-chewy chips of hoi or a few chips. It could have been up to just chisel hois in general.

Well, that's good. Yeah, I was I was pretty happy with it, but I still swallowed plastic cookie. How do you know? Do you know that was it that every every good enough plastic? Did you feel any plastic? No, I didn't like check my poop.

How many balls was it? I was checking it. And the one that I bit in, they were five. Recently, high balls. Yeah, in one bite or did you keep going? The balls. In one bite, or did you keep going? The balls. In one bite, or did you finish the cookie?

I thought something was just like weirdly hard, and I was like, maybe it was just a hard part of it. So you actually felt it. You actually felt the balls. And then you swallowed it. I mean, you swallowed it, so you swallowed the balls. I swallowed the balls. The name of the episode is,

it's bliss swallowed the balls. So wait, this wasn't like, hey, some cookies might have this, but you actually. This was majority of the cookies in the side. It was majority balls. It was majority balls. this was majority of the cookies I was already balls You were the size it was the size of what a mini chocolate chip would yeah a BB yeah a little BB and yeah, they were plastic Yeah, they're plastic plastic. How did they they never said how they ended up in the

Classic ball I think I'm a golf ball. So you got to know I think you have like a pellet gun like BB So in something you need to realize too because I am someone who microwaves my chip hoys. They're little, you wait, you microwave the chewy ones? Yeah, already flat. But like the plastic balls ended up getting like a little bit squishy. Ooh, so it's harder to do.

And melted plastic that I am eating. What's how long ago was this? I was like three or three ago or maybe, I don't know. You can look at the order probably. And I mean, you would have done it by now. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, we all have microplastics.

Yeah. You just have a few bigger. You have macro plastic. I have a couple of macro plastic. Well, this is macro plastic inside the fish. I mean, that won't affect you when you go through the security at an airport. I get it.

I think it might have this. This is a perfect transition. This is a awesome, my easy. This is perfect transition to one of the stories. Which one? Booger years. Now it is. Wait.

No, let them cook. So I was on the, I was actually on the phone talking about the Loub with your credit card company. Yeah, I was on the phone with my crew. Yeah, trying to track down this Loub money. Give me your Loub money. I noticed my dog booger was like chewing on something in the living room. I'm like, what is he chewing?

No, I was like, and he's going, doing that kind of smack thing. Like he's like processes. And then I'm like, and he's going, doing that kind of smack thing, like he's like, processes. Yeah. And then I'm like, what is he eating? I'm looking around to see if he like got some snacks. And then I see one of my AirPods on the ground. And then I look up and he goes, boom. And I go, and I go, I go, I go.

I hate when they do that. I hate when dogs know that they're eating something that's supposed to. And then they chew faster and swallow. Yeah. And I was like, he, surely he didn't. You said, surely he didn't. I hope you started playing this. The legs are full of stress. He's got way through it.

Surely he did. And then I'm like, um, they do the air pod ring. I, I, I, uh, so then I was like looking around. It's like, it's gotta be here. It must have like fallen out. Do you see the case? I found the case.

Actually, and I don't, to be clear, for transparency, it wasn't an air pod, but it was the equivalent of a different brand. Yeah, a wire was good. Yeah, yeah. A little less odd form. A raycon. I found it.

Do you have it? And look? I found a toothmark in it And so that means that I was like big for him he he chewed it opened it up and found a delicious little snack inside Oh, but there's only one now Where's the have you not have you not gonna so this happened like this happened on like Friday. Oh, okay. So So then I was like did he really swallow it and then and then I was like I was like I got it Is that the Samsung bud? Yeah, and then and then I was like I got to play music and see if I can hear it in his in his in his belly so I did that

I couldn't tell if what I was like, maybe this is a testament I need to find better music. But I was like, I don't know if this is the sound of dog stomach or the music I'm hearing. Cause I couldn't, you know, I- It's a lot of layers to listen to. Cause he's not like a chihuahua, he's a huge dog. He's a big dog.

And also, you know, like listen to this song. They're not loud. It's like, and then I was like, and you're like a beeping sound, so that it's, it'll be, yeah. Yeah. And so, Well, the Pro2's beep, but those are Pro2's.

Yeah. And so, I've been checking his poop. I never found it, but like, he also pooped some that, you know, like, he poops without you. I don't, I don't monitor every poop. Yeah, exactly. I can't monitor every poop. It might be in your yard.

It might be in my yard. But also at this point. I would start to do the tracking. Could you do the tracking? I didn't know I could do that. You can track the individual buds. Oh, I didn't know that, but I'm not going to at this point

because I don't want it. Like, at this point, even if I got it back, you don't want it. I'm not like, well, I got it. I don't want to lose my, every time you put them in, you're going to think, oh, I think it's like, this is my doesn't. Yeah, you know what I'm getting,, well, I gotta have, you know, I don't want to lose my, every time you put them in, you're going to think,

oh, I think it's like, this is my dog. Yeah, you know what I'm getting Christopher Christmas. This is an earbud. Yeah, a poop bud. A poop bud. So, anyway, swallowing plastic, it's just the same as you. Yeah. My dog swallowing a plastic bee.

A bigger plastic thing. And he survived. And he survived, and so did you. That's it. Good work. So did you. Some might say, so might say, survived and so did you say that's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it You started streaming before you hit the plastic. No, sorry. I started streaming after I hit the plastic. Yeah, I was just saying. So maybe the plastic was the reason. But you started streaming. Yeah, I got like embedded in your like...

It was the nearest dreamer. What if that was like your superhero origin? Yeah, that's your Bingbee. Oh my god. What if we're about to get dog with a blog next? Your booker is going to... Booker is pulling your laptop right now. Right now. My post is me uploading a fucking blog post. You're boogers gonna booger is on your laptop right now right now

I Walled post like I did what to my owners here That's what I was thinking. I was like now. I have a smart dog story time like my dog can like play music Yeah, you can track them. Yeah, I'm like the David Dobrik of Like most of the time break Usually skip that yeah, yeah, yeah. You did it. You put a earbud in. Oh my god.

Okay, so this episode, it's the two days left of Black Heritage Month. Great transition. Thank you. Two days left of Black Heritage Month. Is there anything, I kind of want to talk about some cool content that's been out and how much fun I've been having with it.

Yeah. One of the ones that I think is really fucking funny has been Same Brain. Whoa, what's that? Same Brain. It's a show that was led, produced by two Black Fims. Who? Kai and BK.

I don't know them. It was an amazing show. I highly recommend people check it out. It's really, really, really fucking cool. And I got to be a contestant on an Eric Bedouard was also a contestant. Frale and- No, I don't want to spoil it, but-

Oh, yeah, oops. More people are on it. So I mean, people on it is fine. I was about to say you both did blank, and I was like, no, don't fill in the blank. In fact, you can fill in the blank on same brain because it's a tribute to Max-K. Yeah. Oh Oh God.

I genuinely had so much fun with that. But it came up with like a couple of like really quotable things from people. For example, two dollar drugs. $2. $2. Chris, what drug can you get for $2? Advo.

Yeah. At the gas station. You might be able to get like a single generic brand. You can't wait for a weed. You cannot get one weed for $2. No, you can get like, what a weed. I think you could get one puff of a, one puff. Well, I think you got a, if you're going to like, we're, you know, buy it at like the

spinsery where it's legal and you get those like, mints that are like, you could get a mint. But they won't sell you one mint. No, no, yeah, yeah, you'd have to, you Yeah, yeah, you'd have to, you'd have to, you'd have to, you'd have to, it's a great deal. You would have to, you'd have to like, go in, like, hey, let's all chip in on some mint.

I think for $2, I could go into someone else's hat box. Yeah. Yeah. Just in the hot box, you don't get the hidden. You just, in the hot box. In the hot box. $2.00, right? $2.00, right? Like you get, you get the hair and the house in that box. Two dollar drugs.

Two dollar drugs. Like you get the hair and the smell of everything. Yeah. But you don't get the carry to feel with you. You don't get the coffee feel. We should start selling that. We should start selling that. Yeah, we should start selling that.

We should start selling that. We should start selling that. Yeah, we should start selling that. We should start selling that. We should start selling that. We should start selling that. Yeah, we should start selling that. We should start selling that.

We should start selling that. Yeah, we should start selling that. We should start selling that. We should start selling that.'m not gonna do that. Hotbox experience. There's also hotbox experience. Have you seen the little telephone booth? Yeah, we have a little meeting room. Everyone that we have meeting room. Our little hotbox meeting room. Yeah. Is that what you all have been doing? Yeah. Have you not? Have you not?

In the meeting rooms? Yeah, have you not? No. That was super weird. I saw Eric would door in there just like, hi. You're really going through. Oh, I love it.

You're really running this joke I can't wait to have a hot box experience on the main stage of our tx But just and people aren't familiar. We have these like little phone booths for like meetings that people need to take meetings Yeah, like silent for silent silent phone booths. They look like phone booths. Yeah Um, and there's just like a tiny little table and a light and you just like sit there and have like, and you know, and someone who's never touched a phone booth in my life.

Yeah, you assume this is what it's like. It's just assumptions. It also has a charging outlet and a way that no one can use it. It is always somewhere that is unusable. Yeah, yeah. I guess another way if you're not familiar with phone booths, it's kind of like a tiny portapoddy, but with a window,

because everyone can see you on the one side. Because they have windows you can see through. So it's like a portapoddy. Imagine a portapoddy. There it is. There it is. A portapoddy, Eric's having fun. There's, okay, the little table.

What's interesting about this one, because this one's placed right outside the bathroom. Yeah. And so you get to see everyone coming in and out. And the kitchen. We got to see you. So like there was Christmas in the meeting today and I just like come up and just like this

the entire time. And he's kind of awkwardly waved. Yeah. And I was like, hey. Every time someone goes into the bathroom, you're like, hmm, yeah. Can we just leave this up the whole body? They don't need to see us.

I'm actually gonna be using anxiety because I'm the kind of person that when I go to the bathroom, I feel like we're accounting how long I'm in there. Oh, no, no. No, no. I feel sad. No, no. No, you can't say that because when I was to bathroom, I feel like we're accounting how long I'm in there. Oh, no, no, no, no. I feel because everyone else is trying to get out. No, you can't say that because when I was in high school, I went to bathroom and the thing is,

I didn't even take a shit that day. But I went to the bathroom and the one that was on our floor was locked off, I had to go upstairs, came back and this little, I'm senior by the way. This little fresh was like, you took a long time, you took a shit, didn't you? What? Yes, I'm so stupid.

Is it who are you, the poop patrol? What are you talking about? You've been day, didn't you? What? Yes, I was so sick. So who are you, the poop patrol? What are you talking about? You've been like, no, I was skipping. Yeah, I was skipping there. You were like, I was hot-boxing. No, you're being mad at me. To this day, I'm just like, how long have I been doing this? Oh my God, that's such a wonderful,

that's such a like, like, that is so, just encapsulating of middle school high school, where people are like, and you're like, oh, what if someone thinks I'm taking a poll? What if someone hears my tampon? No one can know I bleed. Or what, like that's so great. Like also speaking of where things

in middle school and high school, I don't know about your school. We're talking about a lot of the where hats and hoods. No. No. That's weird, right? That doesn't prepare you for adult life at all. That's just like weird micromanaging of children. Yeah, I mean, but they have weird stuff about like uniforms.

No, but like a rule. No, but like your rules. No, but like, well, that's sexist. But specifically, why can't I wear beauty? You're, uh, your straw pass me to two. Oh, oh, I was like, boy, he doesn't know. Different type of, yeah. It's like also take your time. It's also like that.

Yeah, your, your arm length can't, your skirt or your shorts have to be long-riding your arm. But if you've got a really good Ape Index, then like, you're fine. Ape, Ape Index. I fine. A-Bindex? I know. A-Bindex is the length of your arm in relation to your money. So climbers have a really high A-Bindex.

You're a very expanded buyer, too. So like, if you're climbing, you have a really large A-Bindex, that's good because then you reach more. Okay, yeah. Our biggest thing was we couldn't wear pajamas to school, even if we wanted to. But it's a different.

A different. A different. We had to pay $5. No, we also, we also had the two finger roll and then the skirt rule. We're like, we're all rules. It's like a tank top that also. Can we also talk about how the fact that during spirit week, the rules just don't exist? Oh, yeah.

I've seen men come in shirtless. I saw. I saw the men come in shirtless I saw But paint on their bodies. I saw boys coming. They all like my senior class. They all did like Avatar like they roll avatar so they were all like in blue face or like in the morph suits Oh, which is like was this don't do that. Yeah, what's your mascot like? No, no, no I was just high school when that movie came out. Oh, and people were just like that back back. Yeah, so like during like spirit, we had like a character day.

And everyone was like, And like the whole senior class, they all stressed out. I'm gonna be, I'm gonna blow myself, blow myself, blow myself. Yeah, they all blew themselves. I can, can I blow myself? Yeah, you can blow yourself.

If I could get that skin on. Look, if I could, I would, I would, everyday, everyday, you'd blow yourself. Yeah, but I don't know if I would. I don't know if I would. When you think about. No good. Because I'm gonna, I'm gonna have to change the subject.

So you go ahead. I don't know if I would. Well, I'm scared. I'm scared. No, if you would, blow yourself. Okay, I thought about this. Whether or not you do. I know everyone, every guy's tried to, you know, see.

Oh, I don't, I think you're using every, a royal wee as I like to say. I know. You know, you haven't tried Cody we as I like to say. You haven't tried Cody. I feel like I'm seeing head shaking, no one in the food. Everyone. I feel like just about everyone.

Everyone with a penis has at least given it like, I wonder if I could. No, maybe they didn't really try. They maybe like did a stretch to see, maybe they didn't really try. Yeah, they like, they maybe like, did a stretch to see, right? To see it. I can't see a stretch. And I don't, I just feel like, if I could,

and no, if you could, I don't know when you get down to it, if it would be that like comfortable. No, I get it because, I feel like you'd be stretched. You'd be, you'd be like, you can't breathe. Yeah, you'd be like, I think there's, I think it's the concept of life. I don't know what it goes. It's a concept of like, you know, partner sex versus masturbation.

Yeah. And again, everyone sexualized as an, you know, asexual, damn, sexual pool. But like sometimes I just want to be loud. You don't want to be doing yoga. I don't want to be putting in that. But like sometimes I just want to be loud. That's like, you don't want to be doing yoga. I don't want to be putting it in that. Like, sometimes I just want to feel that.

Almost ruined this. You don't want to put it in. Why did you do that? It was the work. Well, and that's what I feel like it would be like doing, it'd be like two jobs, two mean jobs at once. Like, you know, you'd be like, you can't focus on the pleasure. Yeah, you versus like, she. Like, you know, you be like, you can't focus on the pleasure. Yeah, you versus like,

she's seeing, you know, a hand. Yeah. You're like, it's a little easier, laid back and, you know, you're not, you're not like, it becomes mechanic, you're not even thinking about it. Yeah, versus like, you're like,

oh, let me just, like, stroke my leg. And as someone who doesn't have to do her own, but can do others sure That's what the job that's why it's a job Now the blue hey hey if you do what you love you never work a day in your life Hey, and then anyway, I had a turn I did have a transition though. Please to the goblet be small with me to the gobbledby small me. This just internet has released today. Oh yeah, he just just internet came out.

It's back for black heritage. Yeah, he just went off the piano. Yeah, he just went off the piano. And I'll just say gobbledby swallowing me. And I will not give you context. Go watch the video. Is it this is for them? It's out for everyone.

It's for them. No, no, no. That other one. The other one. There was another one. I don't remember the other one. Please scream to give me your number. Oh, the Eclare.

The Eclare. Rook, the perpetual motion. Well, I have, what? OK, so we did an episode of this just internet. No, not too many. I'm not going to spoil a four-black heritage one. Then we had two videos that could give us the monetize that we reacted to.

OK. We constantly walk the line of demonetization. Oh yeah. And it's, it's, there were two, yeah, there were two glizzy gobbler videos and that this just internet. I need a number. I believe someone in chat found out that that person is in fact, he is gay. So you were correct. I mean, you can't be that good at it. No, I believe Liz's exact reaction was, Ayo, that's exactly what you said. I'm like there are people who are, you know,

straight and good at mouth things. I'm gay and I have no gag reflex. What is that? I recently got a gag reflex. Oh, I hate that for you. You can get that. You can get that later on. That's my suck. And yeah, that's what it was. Did it shock you? for you. You can get that you can get that later on I'm a suck and yeah, it's what was it didn't shock you?

Did you have the numbing cream? Did you get the stomach right? Were you surprised? It's very much the same. Yeah, it was right there I just can't go my way She said that my suck and I was like well yeah So some fun fact if you're growing up and you don't have a gag reflex, get one later, I think something happened, I was sick. And it's like far, well, I think the plastic balls have migrated to your softagus. I need the throw up and then I was able to do so.

Okay, so, hmm, everyone. Okay. We can't start and start. No, can I give a little context? Well, clearly we were talking about what we were talking about. Christopher Gaggryflex, that's what I was gonna ask. Yeah, I do.

I do, is it how bad? Well, I mean, how far has he been able to test it? It depends on, well, some people can't, I can't, I can't very, I can't make myself throw up. Yeah. But, well, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't make myself throw up. Yeah.

Um, but I, well, I told the story on, on a stream, but I don't, I'll tell it again. Yeah, do it again. The other day, um, I was having breakfast. I had a, uh, breakfast on as like a Saturday, had a yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy breakfast. Yeah. And then I was like, taken, um, you know what? This was that after, this is the morning after we went out that night. So I was like, take in, you know what? This was the morning after we went out that night, so I was like hung over.

And so I was taking some like, I was taking, I wasn't. Because you suffer, you cause other sufferers. You cause other people the sufferers. And so I was taking vitamins and stuff, but I also took some like electrolyte and a little, oh yeah, thanks. And I put them all in my mouth to swallow. Then I realized I didn't

have anything to drink. Okay. And then I wouldn't grab coffee. But I realized I drink all the coffee except for just a tiny little bit. I was like, I can do this with that much coffee. So then I swallow it, swallow all the pills, but there wasn't one of them got stuck in my throat. We did talk about this because I told you that's how you burn a hole in your Powder and got stuck on my throat, but you know like you know whenever a thing goes down the wrong tube and you just cough and you can't It got stuck and wedged in there and it was like a pill Oh And then I end up like I started choking and I was choking where I'm like

And and then I I choke so so much that it made me vomit. So then I threw up my breakfast, and I was so mad, because it was a good breakfast, and it was a full meal, and I was like, feeling ready for the day. I was like, I was gonna take these vitamins, and I'll be, I'm gonna eat like, I'm gonna eat myself. Yeah, and I, and I,

you were trying to buff yourself and you nerfed yourself. And then I barfed up all my breakfast, and I remember, and I was also, I thought I might die, because I was just choking, because I was like and I was also I thought I might die because I was just choking because I was like I was also like I can't I'm choking on nothing I'm like if you die that's so If you if you died that way you wouldn't make that

No, I couldn't make something up for you that was cool It was like I couldn't breathe but also I couldn't like, not, not gag. And then eventually I threw it up and I think that helped. But then I, I got the little spray thing in the sink. You know what I'm talking about? The nozzle from the sink. And I got it and I was just like spraying it into my throat to try and wash down, but then,

yeah. And that's the only way. Did that make you choke more? Well, no, it helped. I just needed to get it down And eventually I did survive. How are you like were you hungry afterwards? Yeah, I was like I got a breakfast again I need breakfast again I got a I guess go to order I have yeah, no really I was like I just wasted so much time cooking breakfast and eating

Back to square one so Chris I remember you telling us this story. And the reason I remember where you told us this story is because I thought of the story this weekend when I also took to the pill. I had to take a vitamin, that's too big, it's too big. And there's two of them. Vitamin's the first one was like hard. And then the second one, because I was already psyched out, it got stuck. And I was in the kitchen, I was at the sink, and I had to throw up the pill, and I was

like, damn, I'm just like, Chris, for real. Because then I had to take two pills again. But did you throw a breakfast? No, because I hadn't eaten yet, so it was just water. So that's what you got to do. You got to take it first. Yeah, but then, but then, have you ever thrown up because you had vitamins on empty stomach? No.

No. That can happen, too. What? Yeah. If you eat vitamins on an empty stomach No. No. That can happen too. What? Yeah. If you eat vitamins on an empty stomach, it can make you sick. It's not just vitamins, it's like really any pill, any drug. Yeah.

Well, I mean, because there needs to be like a kind of pillow in your stomach. Yeah, don't like doing it. So that's why I take vitamins after breakfast, but now I'm like, oh God. Did you see stranger things in thing? I wonder if I would like D&D. Are you watching House of Dragons and think, hmm, what does a dragon smell like?

Or are you in D&D veteran who just loves the game? Well behold, Tales from the stinky dragon, a hilarious audio D&D podcast. Join Dungeon Master Gus Sarola each week as he guides Barbara Dunkelman, Krista Maris, Blaine Gibson, and John Reisinger through a hilarious campaign where they play interns for a group of mighty adventures known as The Infinite. But when they arrive for the first day on their job, these newbies discover their world-famous employers have been kidnapped. Can these hapless interns save the day, or will their back flipping, ghost fighting, pirate-loving group need to be saved themselves?

It's a show for the D&D amateurs and veterans alike, with top tier storytelling, immersive sound designs, and original score, and special guest voice actors each week. Join Dungeon Master, Gustav Rola, every episode as he guides Barbara Dunkelman, Chris Tumeris, Blaine Gibson, and John Reisinger through an epic and hilarious campaign. Seriously, the show's great, they even do their own adorable stinky puppet videos. Trust me, you're gonna be hooked the first episode. Go listen to subscribe to Tales from the stinky dragon, wherever you get your podcasts.

And you know what, Tom, that blizz sent ya. Maybe they'll give me a cookie. Yeah, I thought it would be. Yeah, thank you. Sorry, I went to the auto shop, I had a blame for the auto shop, and my guy's here, he's probably gonna tell me. I left the car pump in your car

because on the rear driver's side tire, you have a screw in me. I left the car pump in your car because on the rear driver side tire, you have a screw in it. I told you, you were driving on 21 psi. I fucking told you, I, okay, so here's the thing, camera, here's the thing, when you move to Austin,

you get a tire, you get a nail in your tire. You move to Austin, and you get a tire, you get a nail in your tire. And I told Bliss, he was like, because Blaine was like, oh, there's no tire pressure in the tire and I told bliss he was like because blame was like

Oh, there's no tire pressure in the tire and blizzas like oh the weather has been hot has been cold And I said no, there's a nail in your tire. It's a slowly giving nail in your tire was It's not I'm not mad. I'm just What it's not like 21 what you're doing it. It's not it's not my lane It is not my it's hard. It's not my fault. Lane, it is not my fault. It's hard. It's hard to do it. I know it's hard. Lane, I'm still in the boss.

You need to take care of your tires. My tires are fine. No, they're balls. No, they're balls. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey reads today and then they might go away as you put some miles on it because then they're going to reset as he drive around. But then it's going to reappear.

So I left you the tire pump so you can re-inflate your tires. You're going to want to aim for about 30 to 32 psi. Okay. What do I do about the screw in my tire? Don't take the screw out. Don't take it out. You're going to want to take it out but don't take it out because then you're going to finish.

Why are you acting like you didn't just tell me all this stuff when I told you I had to nail in my tire a month. Oh, I said just get it like plug but do I get that plugged? You need to go into a tire shop. Well, is it? Well, is it? Well, is it? Is it in the wall or is it in the?

Well, yeah, it's all that doesn't matter. It's in the truck. It's in the truck. What little tread there? You could technically use like a thing to fix that, but you have bolt tires. I don't have a ball. You know, they're acting like I have a tire.

Don't try to fix your tire. What year was it? What year was it? In the morning. Or 2007, but I got in are acting like I have. Don't try to fix your car. What year was it? What year was it, car? In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst.

In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst.

In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. In the worst. My tires are 20 21 my cars 20 2007 so like I should be fine.

How much do you never know? But you're not driving. How much were you driving? Yeah, like two hours to go to work. Okay, you're your tires are both. You got both tires. That's the point of tires. I have to have a man Dell of tires.

Yeah, go. I think it's an unfit. Were you driving around when during the ice? What's up? It wasn't that, that's how I know my tires are fine because they are not that. No, you both, I've seen your tires. This is a weird intervention about me and my tires.

This is a weird car, have the four wheeler drive control. Oh no, this is just you. Could you also have a commute to get here? So we want you to make it. Yeah. And that's why I let this on. Blake, I cannot listen, Liz. I cannot deal with a bitch. Hey, but some make it. Yeah. And that's why I let you know. I can not listen, Liz. I do not deal with a.

Will it pop? I bet you're right. But some no. Okay. I could. I mean, you know, there's more error than that. You want to wait. The arrow come out if you don't get that whole.

Yeah. You're away until you're, it's considered slowly at this point. But also, at someone will come to you and be like, hey, so we could pass this up, but also you should probably. They're going to tell you, well, this is what's gonna happen. You're gonna take into this count tire because it's the only place to buy tires in Austin. You're gonna go to this count. And the man, a straight man with the fatest ass

you've ever gonna see, and you've ever seen every dude that works in this count tire has a fat ass. They are. Very cute. They are, they are, they are caked up and hot. Anyway, so he's gonna pull you to a chart that's about, yay high.

And it'll have a color and it'll have numbers on it. And he's gonna to the red orange and he's gonna say this is where you're this is where we Usually tell people to change their tires and he's gonna go farther into the orange And he's gonna go this is where you're at You have a spare. You have a spare. It's your spare better than your current tire. I bet it's a probably very skinny. I think it was skinny.

Yeah. You could do it. Play away. It's a fucking finaster island. Plus. Plus, I have a question for you. Yeah. When you put your spare on, where do you put it?

What do you mean? When you have a spare tire and you have to put on a spare tire, where do you put it? On the wheel. Which wheel? It depends on it like what it is So like if my if my tire is flat your front tire front tire fucks up Front tire is fucked up front left. Mm-hmm. I Would put it on the front. No, you never put a spare on the front Yeah, so if you're trying to get the one off the back put it on the front put that spirit of the back. Yeah, so if your front tire folks up you take it the one off the back

Put them the front put the screw on the back. I need more masculine. Oh, that makes sense Yeah, because if it's like a rear was it for most cars are front wheel drive or all will drive if it's a You don't want to put that much stress on the spare tire. I have a screw in my I told you that you look at me like I was crazy I see a screw in a tire. You're gonna get so many screws in your tires. Living in Austin. So this is what you do.

You go to discount tire. Where do you sell? You come from. What do nails come from? Where do these? No, everything in Austin is always under construction. That's why you get an ill in your tire. So you go to discount tire.

You buy the tire there. $25, you get a warranty on the tire. They replace them for free if it happens again. And they'll replace them discounted when they get bald. Discount tire, nothing that. I will go, I'm gonna set up an appointment and hopefully- And again, those men are far the vast, so- I mean, remember the-

It's not just really funny, it's just really, really funny. What? Because it's time two weeks ago. I had texted both BK and Blizz on some. You know, I want to go put air in my tires and they told me there's an L on my tire. So what was supposed to be like a quick little 15 minute trip to discount tires and of being two hours? Oh, it was just both of the yelling at me like, where the fuck are you going to get your

tires done? I've never been in a discount tire less than two hours. So they said it would take two hours. It didn't. It took an hour of me and a key. Got some food in the time because I was about to cry and freak out. Oh no, another part of my day. It was already a bad day.

It was just so nice that I had such great friendship and be can't believe we're yelling at me about my tire and having a nail in it. And then you're trying to be an adult and get my stuff together. And you can reciprocate that friendship. Now you can reciprocate that's fair. And now. Oh, well, that's okay, because you're being a good friend.

Yeah, am I? Yeah, so you're being a good friend. Yeah, but we're even gonna get my car in shit. Also, Hodges, right. Don't do that if you have rear-wheel drive. It's because most cars are front-wheel drive. I'm a two-wheel. How would I know?

Which, two-wheel drive. If you're a two-wheel, rear-wheel drive. It's because most cars are front-wheel drive. I'm a two-wheel. How would I know? Which two? If you're a two-wheel, rear-wheel drive, it's like you've got like a truck or something. I have a little price load. I have a little like, yeah, the Ford Escape. If you have, they'll tell. You would know I had to get that. You had four-wheel drive or rear-wheel drive. Yeah, that's a hard rear-wheel drive. It's hard to say. That's a real Yeah, it's a real mud mouth word. I have a quick question Yeah, I was just talking to bliss like you know talking about that you'll get the access of joke

Yeah, but I have a question when you guys order food. Do you use your real name or do you have a stage name for when you order? It's funny because no matter when we order my my girlfriend puts my name instead of hers So it doesn't matter Oh,, I have, I don't put Liz, so. Oh yeah, he has a government name, no one knows. Food at, like a restaurant where you live. Like a delivery. Like a pickup to go delivery. Essentially, anytime you submit your name

for your company or. Yeah, pick up your Chipotle order. Yeah, I use my name most. Well Chris is a very common name. Yeah. I used to use my name. I recently changed it. Cause I found out that Trevor doesn a very common name. Yeah, I used to use my name. I recently changed it I found out that Trevor. Yeah, I use his name. Yeah, it's like one time I was playing D&D

I was playing D&D at Lewis's house. It was me Lewis Trevor and Alfredo and they ordered food and Frato went to the door to answer it and the guy recognized him and I was like, yeah, and I was like, oh, good thing we're not at your house, Lewis, RIPDU. This is like, oh yeah, this is something some dudes, like, yeah, I was doing Dora. I was doing Dora and Mattel Frey, not all Frey, just after the door. I don't know, this is a little unrelated. Every time whenever the, you order food like coffee

or something, like, and what nameship with this order in, every time I want to make up a name that I think is funny. Every time, and I never do it. Francois. I want to be like, Francois? Yeah, yeah, I want to be like, I'm, I'm, I'm Reginald,

I'm Turtles. Wouldn't this be something? I just want to say something, and you know, like, I'm Turtles. You can't, you can do under celebrity or artists or anything like that because I used to do that where I told people, you're a Beyonce. No, I would say someone who is currently canceled. I'd really get you could put me, it starts with a K.

I was like, you put me under this artist's name and then they would call that name out and then be funny, haha. And it's for no reason. And I don't like, I don't want to make people's day difficult by like, no. But also, I, I for make it difficult. I don't like, I don't wanna make people's date difficult by like, no. But also, I, for what? We get difficult?

I don't know, but I always have this urge. It's like a weird urge. I'm like, yeah. And every time I'm, they ask me, what should the nameship of this under? A million names fly through my head, and then I end up with Chris. But like,

first name that comes to mind other than Chris. Jebediah. That's good ones. Like that's it. And that's it. Literally, it's like every time I'm like, I think of the three funny air names. Yeah.

Yeah. But then you just say Chris. Yeah. Speaking of names. I'm going to transition to my guest. Please. I've been doing cut in duvley reactions on my own streams.

And so it was, you do? I can't get second handed there, so it's cringey, that's the thing. I love it. It's funny. I love reality TV, like a lot. Yeah, it's funny to like react to it. There's some things that are scripted

and we can talk about that all the way because I know people who have been a part of Oh really? Something we've scripted for many years I'm trying to believe videos. It's like react. It's essentially a reaction thing like there's truth or dream Yeah, there is find the secret Mormon The butt yeah, the group of Christians. Yeah, but it's like oh, can you tell? It's like can you get blindfolded and tell which one of these people is actually a dog like it's

Or your axe or your axe that can you yeah, it's like we're can you get blindfolded and tell which one of these people is actually a dog? Like, it's a spearsha. Your axe or your axe. Yeah, it's like, we blindfolded this guy, brought in eight random strangers. He used to fill them up and see which ones it's his axe. It's like, it's really weird. Yeah, no, because the one I was actually talking about before we get into the scripted part that you're saying.

I'm gonna go pee. You're gonna go pee? Go pee, pee, pee, how's this? I'm gonna count how long you're in there. All right, do it. We'll know what number is. Count it. The video I was watching was essentially three men try to guess six women's body counts,

right? So they had to listen to them. They had, eh, yeah, but I enjoyed it. They had to listen. They had a whole bunch of numbers, six women, and they just got to ask them questions, and based on those questions, they have to guess of all these numbers. And it was from Virgin to 300 bodies.

How many bodies each woman had. And there was this old white man, and I just called him Brian, because he just gave such a bribe. I was like, Brian, you could tell like, married two kids, boys, you know, probably a picket fence with the backyard. Like, you could tell like married two kids, boys, you know, probably a picket fence with the backyard. Like you could tell he was definitely in the mindset of like

a older white man, but he was trying so hard to be respect. I'm like, oh Brian, we stand, we stand Brian. Found out his name was actually Bob, and I'm like, I'm never met a Bob in my life. So a Robert, 300's a lot. Three, not so slut shame, but that's impressive. It's impressive. Honestly, yeah, I was, but that's impressive. It's impressive. Yeah, I was gonna say it's impressive.

First and foremost, you know, no one gives a shit about your body. No. Fuck who you want to fuck. Just do it safely, in response. Yes. Yes. But yeah, it's so weird when people talk about body counts

and when guys always talk about how they don't want a girl who has a high body count or anything like that. But then they also have a high body count. So like, the weird hypocrisy. That was standard. Hi. Apocrystic. Yeah.

I can't confirm one of the people, because they had eight numbers total, and six of them were real. One of the girls was 300. I was wrong. That's the best. She kept count. Yeah.

Because I'll be honest, I can't count. I'm a hoe. I can't count.'m a hoe I can't A lot of people Higher body count than I do I do no I don't want to No Make this you see case you have an idea of like a range a range and you don't have to say it Whatever you're comfortable obviously yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I don't fuck y'all I fuck it's fine. I do what would you consider? What would you consider

Penetration or no penetration I don't well here's all say I would say whatever you consider yes I would consider sex both of those things. So penetration and no penetrance. Does that include oral? Yes. So I would probably consider, I would probably be at like maybe 70. Talk about body counts.

70? Maybe? That's not bad. It's not. Wait, what? My body count being 60, 70? Oh. But you also, I don't consider oral.

6. Yeah. You consider oral, I don't. Yeah. If we're I you consider or I don't yeah, if we're not considering that I'm probably like Oh, you Chris Chris slams ass all over town No, I know him as slam ass Chris. He's slam ass Chris. He's slam ass. I don't like that.

He's Chris slam ass. When it just comes, I was there like, oh, you're the Chris. Okay, hold on, hold on. We gotta be the Mary's sin. That's what they call the. But before we bully Chris, let's all agree. I'm not bullying him.

I'm hyping him up. Let's all agree. This is a no talk about sex. You know, consent is important. If Chris was a consent of that name. Oh, yeah And consent can be any it can be things other than sexual things you can have consent communication Chris will get a call you actions and you uh

Gip diet. No, don't call you to have a diet. Oh my god But also I think it's like interesting when people talk about people who are virgins as well Because I feel like it's all, sex is always pressured on people, but then once you have too much sex, it's just like- Then you shame them. Then you shame them. Then you shame them. You're not a win-win regardless.

You shame them for not fucking, and you shame them for fucking too much. And then sometimes you shame them for fucking inappropriate amount. It's very weird, because I have friends who are silver dins, I have friends who are fucking these, or folks, anyway. I'm the friend that's fucking. And we're all, I have friends who are fucking these. We're full. Anyway. I'm the friend that's fucking.

And we're all, I'm not talking about you because I'm talking about people that are single, like my damn self, thank you. They didn't have a Valentine. Yeah, Mr. Five, you didn't have a Valentine. And it's just so annoying because we're all on the apps and then they'll be like, oh, they'll be talking to someone and be really into it in a minute.

They admit, just a heads up, I'm a version ghosted. Really? Yes. Because there's a lot of people that don't want to be your first experience. Yeah, I know, I mean, oh, because they don't want the story about them. Well, no, I mean, I, I, that's,

I think they don't want to be the story. They don't want to be, that's a lot of pressure. Yeah. And it's like, if they're looking for something more casual, they don't want to be that person. Yeah. Or. Yeah. And it's like, if they're looking for something more casual, they don't want to be that person. Yeah. Or, and like, I get that. I get it.

Also casual, and you're also teaching someone. The thing is, I just communicate that though. Yeah. Just communicate. Yeah, don't go. I don't go. Yeah, yeah. You really hit me up after a couple.

Uh-huh. And, uh-huh. And, uh, God, I haven't, I don't know if this is a mean story. I feel like, and I feel like I might have told the story in the podcast a while ago. But the worst. Yeah, we were here. Better, yeah, worst hand job. Mm, I ever got it.

It was a few, it was like three months ago, because it was at a loop. It was my job. Yeah, yeah, and I blame Walmart. It was Walmart for the worst hand job ever. But it was, it was, it was, it was, it was from a virgin, but I don't think, it was also the circumstances. Yeah, if the angle's wrong, it was,

it was a, it was, oh God, okay, so, I don't know, I probably told the story, so it's fine. It was, it was a, it was a, Chris, you won't get canceled if you do. I'll't know. I probably told the story so it's fine. I don't know. It was it was it was a it was a Chris you won't get canceled if you do I'll cancel you. Also you don't know if you have new viewers listening right now. I'm not.

Yeah, so while you're on this I am going to use about it. Go Piss go. Yeah, yeah, it's um wait, I'm going to tell the story and see and he could see he can try and figure out what better that's not working. That is breaking your back and not a good way. Not a good way. He can try and fill in the fill in the holes when he gets back. Yeah, he's so good.

Okay, so I, I, uh, female, she was a virgin. I don't know if I knew this at the time. We gone out a couple times. We'd like, I think made out, you know, some, we were leaving a bar. We'd been out, had dinner, drinks. Uh, I think I walked her to her car and we started making out at the car. At some point we like, oh, we sat in her car and we was kind of a dark spot, we started fooling around. Yeah, that's what we did.

We really loved that for you. Yeah, and then at some point, like, going, Yeah, and then at some point, like, you know, going, like handy in the car. Yeah, car handy. Car handy. Yeah, I was wearing jeans. Ooh, back to my face. And, and.

So, I pants always. Yeah, well, you know, I didn't think I was giving a car handy when I was getting dressed, you know. You always prepare. I was dressed to do a prep. Always prepare. You always prepare. You just were a movie.

You didn't work at least. Not for the after show. And you know, like, it was a very enthusiastic procedure. Aggressive. Aggressive. Yeah. It was very, but also it was where, yeah. In other defense, if it's your first time, you don't know.

Well, I don't think it was your first time. It was your first time, like, oh, she's bad at it. No, it's just bad. And also, just like, did she prep her hand? Was it was our first time. It was our first time like, oh, she's bad at it. No, it's just bad and also just like, did she prep her hand, was it just dry? Yeah, and it was also, it was also like, it was like in a like dark, you know, like, kind of like.

Yeah, she can't see. Oh my God, it's like sandpaper. Yeah, there's no one. And I was wearing jeans. I sent the shoe I hand. I hand-cordination. And it was overly enthusiastic. And they were jeans and it was also like,

I didn't want to, like we weren't like, again, it was like enthusiastic and they were genius and it was also like, I didn't want to, like we weren't like, again, it was like kind of a, you fake it. People, well no, I was like, come on Chris, you can do this. You can just finish, come on Chris, because I was like trying real hard to like, but it was like also hurt,

cause it was just like, it was like imagine someone like conducting an orchestra. But with your da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, but like, and I was just like, come on Chris, you can do this. someone like conducting an orchestra. But with your da da da da da da da. And I was just like, come on, Chris. I'm like, I love how you're trying so hard to make such a bad experience. I was trying to, I would have been like,

woo woo. I did that. I did some black hair. This is like the first episode of Backman. If you can't do it, you can't do it. You can't do it. And I tried to like get some, like, oh, maybe, you know, and like, go coaching and that was like it,

but it was just so enthusiastic. And there were also, like, we're always making out at the same time. There was some, yeah, it was like, it's eventually, it's on time. Eventually, I had to be like, oh wait, I think someone's coming. And like, not me.

No, me though. And then, and then, so that, then I'm like, oh well, there's like, we should, you know, like, we should get out of here. Yeah, we should get out of here, of here. Yeah, more than one time. Yeah. Yeah. Have y'all ever?

You saw it? Well, I, the next day, I just came back and I went to the story with Oprah. My, they were like, my, I had, I was, I needed healing. There was like, I got like, I got like, I got scratched. I got scratched up against my zipper. From my hand. It was a dry, dry, dark. With jeans in the dark.

It was like a zipper and all kinds of stuff. And I think it got scratched up against a zipper at one point. I had like, I was like, oh my god, I'm gonna have to like. You had zipper, right? I had to, I had to, I was like, oh my god, I'm gonna have to like. You had zipper rash. I had to, I had to, I was ashamed of, Can you kiss? Well, I could piss, but it was like, I couldn't take it out in public

because it looked like I had some sort of weird like, like, I had like, leoporcy on my dick or something because it was like, scabbed over from my zipper. It scabbed over. It was rough. Some people would have liked that. Not Chris though. Not Chris.

No, no. Not the guy who buys lube and bulk. Yeah, clearly the conditions were right for Chris. Wait, have y'all ever? So as a kid, I was like very nervous. This is a crazy transition to go from this as a kid. No, it's a normal one. OK.

But as a kid, I had a wild transition, like, not a a kid I didn't I had a like a wild transition of like not a transition I wanted to learn how to kiss Did how did y'all learn I didn't I didn't so okay what I did was I Would you kiss your hand I would make out with myself in the mirror I go on. Don't save me. I didn't know it's saved me. Hey, it's laughter on a podcast is like, what? Hey, yes, I am.

Yeah. So it's like a mirror. Go on. And you kind of like, you just put your lips to the mirror. And you just like pretend you're making out with someone. That's what helped me practice to become a great kisser. How did you work out? I'm a great kisser now.

Why did you have your first kiss? I want to say like, it was either, what are we considering a great kisser now. I'm a great kisser now. Why did you have your first kiss? I want to say like, it was either, what are we considering a first kiss? Like, what was your first kiss? Kindergarten. Look. Wow, I don't care. I see you doing like, okay, then 16 when I was 16.

When did you consider your first kiss or movement was involved? 16, first kiss. Like that. No. Yeah, I'm not counting your mom And that's what we call him Chris New Orleans the Marist Chris

That's the same So you're real first guess. Yeah, my real first guess was when I was 16. Wow, it's looking pretty. Anyway, was it with the mirror? Or no. I was with the mirror. Oh.

Oh. With this girl, I really liked and we were at a party and we kissed and I was like, hell yeah. And she was like, it was okay. That's what she said. Oh, damn. I just took that and I was like, okay, I'm gonna work on it.

You're like, okay. So I went back to the mirror. Back to the mirror. Yeah, get back on your grind. Back on the mirror. Oh, back on the mirror. You go to the mirror, like, look, one of us fucked this up.

I don't know who it was. One of us. One of us fucked up. When did y'all have your first kisses? Okay. So, okay, I had, mine is also not great. When I was in high school. My first kiss story is actually hilarious.

When I was in high school and dating men, I'd never wanted to kiss them. Okay. But they would kiss me and I'd be like, no, so I don't care about that, because I'm like, I don't know. I mean, you're not putting in a word. My first consented kiss.

Like 19. That's not bad. Like 19, probably. It's not bad. I mean, consensual. Yeah. Love that. Yeah, so like 19, like in like,

Salt like college. Okay, cool. Yeah. Mine was 17. Oh, well, yeah. But like, we have already been dating for like five months because I was scared to kiss him. That's like three years in college, in high school. And how's the senior in high school. But like, we had already been dating for like five months because I was scared to kiss him. That's like three years in college, in high school.

And how was the senior in high school? Was it like a whole semester? Like, that's crazy. Yeah, it's, it's, it's very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, I was in seventh grade or eighth grade. I can't remember seventh or eighth grade. I think it was in eighth grade, but it was intimidating because the girl she's taller is kissing. She had told previously, she was cooler than me. Way cooler.

She was popular. She was popular. And I don't know how I think I tricked her into thinking I was popular. Okay. Because like in the one class, I was friends with one popular person, so she didn't know how I, I think she, I tried to trick her into thinking I was popular. Okay. Because like in the one class, I was friends with one popular person. Because she didn't know any of that. And then she'd also was like, she'd done everything except for head sex. Okay.

So I was like intimidated. Yeah. And I bet. Oh, yeah, definitely just about, you know, like, oh my God, same. Yeah. I mean, I still know of you. But I hadn't. And so then we're like at the movies.

And I was like, you know, like, when do I do it? I was like, I was like, I remember, I had like so many like breathments and things, but I was just constantly like, the whole movie is like, is this gonna be the chance? I was like, maybe shook, I was just like constantly trying to work like this. I was sitting there, eyes are watering. And I'm like, and I remember like maybe shook, I was just like constantly trying to work like this. I'm so curious.

And I'm like, and I remember like, remember the drops that you would get, the breath drop. I remember going to the bathroom, we were like, just like, just like, and then making out of the mirror, right? And then, and then, and then,

and then moving to the bathroom. Yeah, and so there's probably this like mint, like, aura, aura about me, because I'm fucking like chomping on mintos. You smash it, mintos. Yeah, and then, and then like, the, or about me, because I'm fucking like chomping on mintos. You smash it, man. Yeah, and then, and then like the movie ends and we're like, whoa, we're both going to sit here.

We're like the, the, the, the, the end of the movie. Yeah, yeah, the movie ends and everyone's leaving, everyone's leaving, they're in credits and we're like, we're both understood, not neither of us stood up. So we're both like, waiting and we're like, oh, yeah. So we're sitting there talking and then I Think she at some point realized I wasn't I was like didn't go so then she just grabbed me and started and I was like I Cool cool

Feeling so cool walking I was like it's a girl Girl kiss you yeah, yeah, you know like It was it was both of us who were both there. And damn, I was minty, you know, like, damn, I was minty. Yeah. And I was like, that was, and then, it was pretty cool.

It was fucking mint. And then, it was pretty cool. That, that was, I think that was all we did. She, I think, she ended up, I think she, I found out she was cheating on me because she was like, well, again, she was up, I think she was, I found out she was cheating on me because she was like, well again, she was like, she was cooler than me.

She was way cooler than me. And she was also like doing a lot more than me. And you thought she was gonna stop, because she was the year. No, no, I was like, no, I found out I was like, yeah, that adds up. That adds up. That adds up, I mean.

You were like, I didn't, I didn't do it, sir. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, that adds up. I mean, you were like, I didn't, I didn't do that. I mean, I didn't, yeah. I didn't, that's up. I'm not supporting. If you, if you like want to go back lore wise, if you ever seen the RTA where I got, I bought the girl a thong for our one month anniversary, this would be that girl.

Pussy Slay. So. So. That this is, this is like a connected, like. Where did you, like a victorious hero? Yeah, and I know I've told the story because it's animated, but I'll give you the TLDR. I was like, again, going out with this girl who was like, You choose Kister. No, no, this is before, well, I don't know if this was before after.

I'm not sure. We might have already kissed, we might not have. But either way, I knew that this girl was like, had had done a lot more than I and I was like trying to like I was like playing up like I was Had had done anything and then I was talking my friends like well what do I get for like one month anniversary my friend Who also didn't know anything was like dude you should get her a sexy some sexy underwear? So then I was like yeah, so I got my I was like, dude, you should get her some sexy underwear. So then I was like, yeah, so I got my mother and I messed them all.

So when did the Victoria Secret looking around, ladies like, can I help you? I'm like, yeah, just, that's so funny. I need some underwear. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Can you imagine being teen? Can you imagine being, I'm assuming, let's say, let's give her the benefit of that.

She is a 17 year old girl working in the Victoria Secret. It's her weekend job, whatever. And just like a sweaty 14 year old. Oh, that's, I was probably like 12 or 13. A sweaty 13 year old Chris comes in. Panic like, with his little red cheeks. And being like, what do I get?

I don't know what to get. Hi. Did you, how did it, So I grabbed, did they had a thing, I found the cheapest like songs. It was like very little material. Yeah, well, they're a one because I was like, and I got one, I checked it out, I found the cheapest like songs. It was like very little material. Yeah, well, they're a one. Because I was like, and I got one, I checked it out,

I bolted, and then, I remember I also, then at school was like, how do I give it to her? And I didn't like, I didn't wanna give, I didn't wanna give it to her in a pig. I didn't wanna give it to her in a, like, I got paper back. A paper back, because I didn't wanna open it in part of a bunch.

Yeah, I didn't wanna open in front of all our friends because it was a thong or in front of like a classroom. You slip in there, and you know, so I went, You stuffed it between the slush, No, I had it in my pocket, and I ran up to her, I was like, Hey, and I threw it at her and ran. Oh my God, oh my God, Chris. The only way that could have been worse

if you like tapped her up and left her in her hand, like a drug deal. Chris. I was like, Yeah, I got you something. And I like, kind of like threw it at her like, That is, and then ran. You, I think you something and I like kind of like threw it at her like that is in Iran You I think you shamed her I need to so did she I sure you the shame was all on she she didn't you before after that. I don't know You know at some point someone's like hey, just you know so and so they were cheating on you

I'm like, yeah, I'm not surprised So then it makes you feel better. I'm like, yeah, I'm not surprised. So then, if it makes you feel better, I've also had the exact same conversation. Yeah, and I was like, yeah, I get on them. You're like, I would, I would, I would, so I was like,

I'm free too. Yeah, apparently we know kiss people they cheated on you. I went out the hard way. I, first time I got cheated on. Sorry, that was a long, no, it was funny. Yeah, it was funny. No, you're good.

You didn't finish your, I want, my sorry, it's not like that. it was funny. No, you're good. You didn't finish your, I want. My story is no like that. It's not as good as that one. Yes, this is actually live, sub draft. Yes, this is live. This is not live. What's that?

Why will it be? So my first guest story, again, we have been, so we had been talking for three months. I've been to get it for two. He had tried to go in multiple times. I was always, yeah. I can learn to remember one time. I was making conversation.

I see him running towards them. Like, what are you doing? Running for me. Not running for kids out here. He was gonna cancel that. He was gonna cancel that. No, I mean, we were talking at the same time. But like, we had some space space between this and all the sides here

I really in my head is like anime lines. He's coming for me and I'm like Oh, no, I'm going on I like I have to say I have at least I had dodged his like 10 times at least 10 times I had dodged this Miss kisses. Yeah, I don't know why it's just like whoa Oh, yeah, I got a really good a dodger. I'm still really good at dodger. Yeah, I can I'm like oh no, don't kiss me. Yeah, I don't know why it's just like Oh, yeah, I got really good at The dog I'm so really good at dodging. Yeah, I can I'm like oh no don't kiss me. Yeah, no you're a Chasing chase me like blane I'm up. No don't kiss me

So what had happened was we went we were at with our friends. We went to a movie while we're in the movie We had to sting between us. That's what's Penny for your thoughts. And if any of us had, either of us had to say Penny for your thoughts, you had to say exactly what you're thinking in that moment. Mai, we had already, through that, I had learned that he loved me fun. I'm going to do that the only day.

It's going to be a throwback. So we were watching a movie, I look over him and say Penny, short for Penny for your thoughts. And he goes like, really like issue right now And I'm like So then he I lead it and I'm like Kind of next man. I like that

So do it So then we kiss and I'm like okay, okay, look sure on mine. This is what this feels like. I'm learning to myself, okay. Okay. Cool. When we still go on the background and then he starts moving his lips. I'm like, okay, this is the part where we start moving our lips. I like it. It looks like so on mine.

That is what we pull apart. I'm like, okay, it's been done. And then we go back in and I'm like, okay, okay. Oh, again. Yeah, because we didn't do the tongue part yet. So I'm like, I got figured out shit out too. Really? I got it.

Look, if you kissed the mirror, you would have been ready for that. What? No, because I just figured it out. I just figured it out. You're so weird. Were you so into kissing yourself? Also, you slipped yourself so. Really bold.

Really bold at this swimming, I was bad at it, because you definitely gave me a seven out of 10. You definitely gave me a seven out of 10. Did you get a seven? I didn't ask for it. No, I was just saying it was okay. get a seven? No, I was okay. Yeah, no, he was okay. Exactly.

He gave me a seven out 10. Then he just said, he said, I was doing my tongue too much because I didn't realize I was like, tongue, did his turn, my turn, his turn, my turn. That's like good. That's like good. Okay, so, I was okay. Why are you thinking about this character? Can I just finish with one?

You'll please. Okay, so I was like, okay, cool. Next time I was fanfucking tastic, he's like, oh my god, you're just a noise. Seven, I said, it was good. And I'm like, yes. And then, so the reason why the story is embarrassing is I didn't say which movie we were watching. Oh, no. Princess in the front.

What movie? No. Book of UI. No, it's the front. What movie? Book of Eli. No, it's the worst. It's the worst. Y'all remember SpongeBob Squarepants? That's the first one? No, the second one was good.

The second one, and it was during the dolphin scene. That's the sexiest moment. That's the sexiest moment. The sexiest moment. It was one five out of water. Is that the one with David House of War? No, so the other one. The bad one.

The one King Naptan. Yeah. No, that's the first one. You're saying that you're all saying the good stuff about movie. Exactly. It was a bad SpongeBob movie. It's really bad. Where they are, it's SpongeBob out of water.

It's not good. It's really piss poor. I can't tell you that, it's SpongeBob out of water. It's not good. It's really piss poor. I can't tell you that fly. I just remember they got out the water and there was a dolphin going, the entire fucking pipe. If you're in middle school or high school and you're gone on a first or early date

to movie theater, it doesn't matter what the movie is. You're not paying attention at all. All you're thinking about is where are your hands and where should you put them and when should when should you it's like it doesn't matter the movie doesn't matter speaking of do we all have a movie that we should remember but like we we remember going to see the movie but you don't remember anything a lot of movie like yeah yeah I remember you I again I set this on same brain my my brain recesses yes stuff. But I mean, because you were...

Yeah. Oh. No. But I fall asleep to movies, so I never see it. That's the one I'm talking about. You're talking about a Netflix and you're still watching. So I can tell you one movie that we bought tickets to and I think I remember the credits say movie uh the most of McCarthy spy movie.

Heat? No. No, it was really called spy or spy or where she's like where yeah she's a spy. Yeah, it's really just called spy. I didn't like. I was so excited to watch it. I remember her getting on the motorcycle and leaving for the credits. I don't do stuff in movie theaters. Well, I mean, I to watch it. And I remember her getting on the motorcycle and leaving for the credits. I don't do stuff in movie theaters. Well, I mean, I don't know. I will watch a movie. Yeah, same. I feel this is more when you're like,

you can't, when you're living in Japan. You just know where else. Yeah. I, the mall. Sorry, Jalos message is crazy. The changing rooms in the mall. You can make out with someone. They're crude.

Yeah. But sorry, so if you're watching this recorded, Crazy the changing rooms in the wall you can make out with someone yeah Sorry, so if you're watching is recorded so when the chat said that their friend lost their rigidity during the And the crew is a great movie Never Crews is a great movie they have like four followers. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Red box Netflix joint or like maybe a drive in hopefully Jailo drive through since situations or or a drive through I I can't be this is the only one. I can't be this is the only one. I can't be this is the only one.

I want to five for five deal. It's five dollar for long. I would say like if I did watch a movie while banging and I genuinely wanted to watch it, I would just watch it again. You just watch it again. But she'd get a little corny. No, my brain doesn't work. Because you feel like you get to the part where you stop washing and you feel like, oh yeah.

No, I remember an awkward movie experience where, so at some point, I was dating this girl that her older brother was dating my sister. So two siblings. Okay, dating two siblings. Dating two siblings. My sister was not happy about that because they were dating first, but oh, you blew up her spot. Yeah, she was real pissed. So anyway, we want to go see a movie. I think one, maybe my parents dropped us off. Yeah. And we were going to see this movie.

In the movie, we were like fooling around because it was pretty crowded. So we could like, it gives the same thing. Everyone left. So then we're like, we sat and then we were like fooling around, because it was pretty crowded, so it was the same thing. Everyone left, so then we were like, we sat, and then we were like getting real hands-y. To the point, we were there to the point where the guy coming in to clean the theater, like turns the lights on, is cleaning, oh, we gotta go now, right?

It's crazy, you guys, like a bunch of cats. Yeah, it was huge. So we'd been like, it'd been like a good 10 or 15 minutes, the whole credits of us fooling around. I didn't know who was picking us up. And I thought we were gonna like, they would be waiting in the car or something. They're waiting like right where the movie leaves out.

And it was, it was my sister's boyfriend, her brother, was like, and we were like walking out, he knew the movie ended like 15 minutes ago, because everyone left, and then he had to wait, well, and I was like, oh, fuck. He, like, because I was thinking he knew this. I thought we'd like call, or be like, hey, we're out of the movie, come get us,

or something, he was waiting to pick us up, and I was like, oh, man. Oh, he knows. I've had that happen to me, and I wasn't even doing anything bad, and I still feel guilty. Yo, some things, so some things similar, but also really upsetting happened to me once.

I was over at my boyfriend at the time's house and we were in his room and hanging out. And you know, while we're hanging out, sometimes you say things. Yeah. And then eventually, you know while we're hanging out, sometimes you say things. And then eventually you finish things and then I looked at my phone and it said, my little sister got a voice memo. Oh my God, oh my God.

I'm calling my sister and me like, delete it. What is it? What was on it? I don't want fear when I tell you. I was for it. When I tell you. I was 40, I was 40 too. When I tell you I put my phone on airplay mode every time. When I tell you I put my phone on airplay mode

and I throw it across the room. Oh God. It could have been worse. It could have been like, my little sister is definitely super cool. So I mind you, I'm 17 at the time. So she's six years on going to me. So she's like a love in her 12th in middle school. So you just delete it. So I lay a person here

like, oh, I'm so sorry, I ignored that. She, I don't remember what her response to me was. It wasn't bad because clear if it was bad, I would be like freaking the fuck out and remembering it. But it was definitely a bearer thing where I was like, it was embarrassing for sure. Because at

this point, she's still young enough that she could tell them all. Yeah. Oh, you would get your asses out of here, bro. I would have gotten my ass, oh my god. This is the same mom that you just planned. How did you explain it to her? Fuck.

Deleted, you don't, you say, you delete it. You delete it. It's like those old Facebook memes, where like if you hear me saying mayonnaise or anything, I'm making a sandwiches on the top. Y'all are over that face with me. There was this old Facebook meme. That was just like me and my brother showed a bunk bed

and I had my girl come over. So I was like, yo, we're making sandwiches. So I told my girl to say, hey, say like relish air below me pretty, through things for faster, for whatever. And the little brothers is just like, can y'all stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise on the floor. What?

Those are like, oh, Facebook me. No, I remember. No, I remember. You said that and you unlock the camera memory inside me. You got it unlocked out. Of being on Facebook in 2008. Literally being on Facebook in 2008. Are you unlocked locked up?

You literally, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just fell into the depths of my own memory and I don't like what I saw. Facebook was the first place I saw sex and it wasn't between a girl and a guy. What? On Facebook? Yeah.

It was not between a girl and a guy. These are gay sex. No. Oh. Oh. What kind of, what Facebook were you on? I think you were a gay sex. No. Oh. Oh. What kind of Facebook were you on? I think you were a gay person. We should talk about that in the post show.

Yeah. Um. I got it. This was not. No, I have a story about a getting a voice text that wasn't for me. I think for you. That was sent to me on X. Was it for you?

Can you say it quickly? Because I think Tyler was just the hurry to fuck up I guess I could do it in the push out. We'll do it. We'll do it in push out. Hey everyone Don't know how to close this but I this is the RT pod and we're gonna record a post show. Thanks for watching We'll see you later and see you next time. I Don't know if I can tell that story Find out. I had no idea how to close it.

What the? It was close. Oh, okay. Do you like apples? Alright, example. Together in Trempathos, Characombs, Characombs are free to deal with nothing to do with this podcast. Analyze various unsolved, and Ruestrathese cryptic podcast, f*** face.

Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise specific, but short. Listen to show name on Apple Spotify, or wherever you get podcasts. It's f*** face, a podcast. Subscribe or no, you do yes?