Rooster Teeth Podcast - Apple or the Egg – #380

Episode Date: June 14, 2016

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It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers, Will Arnet and Anthony Mackie comes a new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motormouth outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnet, and Thomas Hayden Church. Twisted metal, streaming now only on P-Cock. Hey! What's up everyone? Welcome to the Rooster Teeth Podcast. No Gus, no Bernie. No Gus or Bernie, no mom and dad is what I said on Twitter. No rules, just the kids and the kids is cousins

Is that not grammatically correct? It's not is it I mean it's about right cousins kids is cousins. I'm Gavin I'm Barbara. I'm Chris and I'm Josh and I'm Barbara Keep in traditional. I said and I'm Gus and I wish I was Gus. Keep in traditional. You should have said, and I'm Gus. And I wish I was Gus. That's a lifelong dream. I want to mention that this podcast, Start Enough Well, is brought to you by Audible, Blue Apron, and me Undies. Three great sponsors for the great podcast. Hey guys.

Everyone's at E3. Everyone is at E3. Yeah. I was actually just at E3, and then I flew home today. I was really nervous. You weren't gonna be here. My flight was actually delayed by several hours, so I only just made it. When did you get in? Like four.

Jesus Christ. Four-thirty. My nightmare is Gavin not showing up and having to pick from the rest of the bunch of people at the time. I don't laugh at the cousins cousins cousins. Because cousins didn't use panic when I left on Sunday. When was Sunday, yes? Yeah, yeah, I don't see what we're going up to Lindsay's parents ranch house, which is like two and a half hours out of Austin and Lindsay and Michael invited me and they said yeah Gavin might come Cuz may Zeddy three but Gavin still might come and they're like oh, we can't come because he has to fly out 6 a.m. Tomorrow on Sunday

And I was like Where's he going? He's going to be back by Monday night. I was there for a day. I had to wake up at 3.30 to pack because I never packed the night before because I'm an idiot. And I had to do some stuff, like feed the cat. And for some reason, I decided to change my air conditioner. Phil, this is what it's like.

And then running the air conditioner was. Yeah. They It's real. It turns out running the air conditioner while I was there. Yeah, they'd flew to LA, landed at like seven. But then I realized I had to stay up all day in LA. So it was the equivalent of being up at like 130 and then staying up till the following night because it's like time. 24 hours almost. Yeah, so by the end of it, I was naked.

But here we are. But geophon. Yeah, it was good. We played some battlefield one and we did the, we did some commentary about the Bethesda. What were we playing. But J.F.Un. Yeah, it was good. We played some battlefield one and we did the, uh, we did some commentary about the Bethesda. Who are we playing with? Stream. Battlefield one. Okay. We are playing with Whiskily for Fairy Cruise, Snoop Dogg,

Zac Efron, Jamie Foxx. Wait, Zac Efron? There's so many people there. What the fuck? Oh, and there was a lot of marijuana being passed around. I told it last time, the other thing. The Bernie's not here, I'll just tell it for him. But basically, someone decided to light up a joint and all the gamers were in a line, two lines,

and there were two teams. And the way the A-C was all hooked up meant that all of the smoke was just blowing down the lines of gamers. And I was like there with Terry Cruz and some other guy next to me and we were just like And then I looked over at Bernie, but he was on the other side He was in a trifecta of some other guy Wiz Khalifa and Snoop Dogg and the joint was being passed in like a triangle with Bernie in the middle and I looked up It's just like... It's like people wait for adults

Bernie was high as a shit Passively from snoops lungs And I think if I was to get high that would be the best way to shoot Yeah, get an anti-tie off of Snoop Dogg And then we went after that to do the stream for the Bethesda announcements And Bernie was just eating everything She was like eating all the snacks. You had the munchies for like three hours.

Did he realize he was high? Yeah. Yeah, he was like, I'm high as shit. It would be funny if he's like, I don't know what's going on, but I'm hungry as fuck. There's Bernie and Wiz. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha How did they, how are they allowed to bring that into the convention center? Look. He has 25 million followers on Twitter. They're not gonna kick him out, right? That's how that works.

Yeah, that's true. I feel like Snoop Dogg gets a pass in life. I mean, you just expect it. And that kind of a thing, too, you know, like, if he didn't do that, yeah. Well, I thought all the cameras would look away, like, ooh, you know, this kid's watching and stuff. I guess it's not illegal that, and all the cameras were like, yeah, zoom in on that, and they were like posing for the cameras with that joint. I was

blown away. It was a hell of an experience. So the game is great. If that's what 25 million Twitter followers buys you what what do you guys get with your Twitter followers? What would you be allowed to bring into a convention? I got free office chairwits. That's cool. Yeah. I wouldn't be able to bring in any drugs or booze probably. I don't think that would get me anything in the real world. Mike, you kicked out of the US. I don't know if my amount qualifies for anything.

I don't know if I've ever gotten anything free from Twitter or like any sort of like comment. I guess it's some free like pizza chips once or something. That's awesome. Yeah. That's great. It's not weed, but it's, you know, on the way. It's something you might have like a bomb. I get some free like pizza chips once or something. That's awesome, yeah. That's great. That weed, but it's, you know, on the way. It's something you might have after a week.

Right, it's a, yeah. Could you bring those pizza chips into a convention center? I can try. I can smuggle them in. So it gets you. I don't know if there's any correlation, but all of the celebrities were terrible by the gay. Maybe it was because they were all high.

I don't know. Wasn't there something on Reddit this morning where it was a screenshot of Snoop Dogg and some other girl who he was playing with? I forget her name. And it said it was like a person interviewing them and they're like, what's your secret weapon for being good at this game? He goes, oh, you'll see. And then cuts to an other screenshot of him with a join in his mouth. He's like, I can't talk about it yet, but we have a play. We have a secret weapon. Can't say weapon tonight. It's a problem. Yeah.

You want to taste this? It's really bad. Why would I? Just taste it. Just taste it. And try and guess what it is. Just taste it. Just taste it.

Just taste it. Just taste it. You shouldn't drink anything the cousin's give you. For Chris. In general. Red Bull, whiskey, and tequila. Why did you put all three of those in one? to give you. For Chris, in general. Red Bull, whiskey and tequila. Why did you put all three of those in one?

I was trying to find something to mix. Like a new blood. And make you hop. You're trying to turn your blood to frost. I started to find the, so I had this locker of like alcohol from like the old office that's still back there. And it was like half a shot of whiskey and one shot at tequila, and that's all there was in it.

So that's what you just put in there? So that's what you put in there? And one cup and some red bull? Yeah, what are you gonna cool that drink? I mean, a blood thinner, is that what? Is there any drink that mixes tequila and whiskey? No. Maybe.

But this one. Now there. Yeah, one I want to see. I think that's just booze, but I don't know. It's te a long island I saw? Yeah, long island I still love it. I think that's just booze is, but I don't know. It's just tequila. I don't think something's in here. Long island I see.

Yeah. It's coke and sweet and sour too. The only thing I know about long island I see is it's the drink that Michael and Lindsay drink whenever we go downtown. It's the drink that makes Michael punch the floor of the parking lot. Remember that. That was like the first time we all went downtown I think right? Yeah, it was the first time I ever got drunk with Michael,

and we were just walking away from downtown. He was like fighting the floor of a cop. Yeah, the parking garage. And he like woke up with like bloody knuckles in the next day. He lost. What happened? He was like, yeah, just punched stuff. So long Island iced tea has tequila, vodka, rum, triple sec, gin, and a splash of cola.

Splash. So what, wait, so it doesn't have whiskey? It doesn't have whiskey. So that is literally the first drink ever made with tequila and whiskey. Yeah. It smells like medicine. Ever. It's not good.

It's bad. So any of you excited about some games that came out? Anyone watched any of that? No. We're competing with the Sony Cuisine right now, too, right? Yeah, it's like the day of announcements for everyone and do any of you play games? No, I play games.

I'm just busy right now, you know. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like, I don't even have an Xbox One or any of the like, There's a slim one that plays stuff in 4K. For $299, right? Yeah. But how do you set all games?

Does it upscale them somehow? Because they didn't, huh. Does that look good? Yeah. Well, I mean if you got a HDTV you'll never notice if you got 4K TV Chances are your TV upscales HD anyway, so just Yeah, super upscale super upscale, so yeah, but this is streaming during the so we're competing with Sony now I think but we have some huge announcements yeah coming up yeah yeah when the first one you'll see yeah and do time you know what spoil anything so I wanted to mention that we have RTX coming up and I think it's 17 days as of the recording of this podcast Which makes my stomach go up a little bit when I say that out loud

No, bring it right back down Some of this delicious Chris's blood thinner something else might come up And we have a contest actually that we're doing with Mike and Dave It's the movie Mike and Dave need wedding dates is coming out this July few of us actually saw it itself by Southwest Mm-hmm. It's the movie, Mike and Dave, Need Wedding Dates is coming out this July few, but I actually saw it at South by Southwest. It was really funny. But they're holding a contest for everybody where you could win two VIP tickets to RTX and it actually ends on the 14th of June. Now what does VIP get you, Barbara? VIP tickets get you early access to autographs, front row seating and all the panels of VIP party with all of the Rourstjitis staff on Friday night.

There's a VIP lounge on the floor, and also you just get a nicer badge. So yeah, the contest ends tomorrow, but the rules are you have to post and add to Craig's list in the Ranson Raids category explaining why you need RTX VIP passes Then you got a Twitter Instagram link to your Craigslist ad using the hashtag Mike and Dave RTX contest And you need to follow Mike and Dave on Twitter and Instagram and So there's a link you could go to for official rules Mike and Dave RTX contest.com and it ends tomorrow or today, if you're listening to the podcast on Tuesday.

So good luck. In Apple News, because they announced stuff today, you can now turn the background color of the Apple TV from white to black. That's bold. Wow. Wait, isn't it white now?

Yeah. What do I see? And it'll be black? But you could change it back and forth. They also announced some cool stuff about the watch and the phone and basically in autumn everything will be better. Hopefully everything I hate about Apple devices will be good. You're going to get the new watch? There's no new watch announced. It's just new software. Oh, what do you hate that's going to get better?

To the point where you just don't buy Android. I have to come back to you on that one. Because my list is still on. Yeah. Uh, alright, I have a question. Do girls look at socks? Like in the store? Oh!

Oh, that's right on my penis. Sorry. Oh, Jesus. Oh, what did you do? What all? Sorry. Oh my god. Jesus. What did you do? You went off? I just wanted to.

I haven't had an accident. He somehow spilled. The universe is not against you. Oh, you've got a pool. This is why this couch is packed. Stick it in. The next, I mean, this is why this couch is thick. Stick it in. This is the new couch for the new set. Do girls like to do they like socks?

Do they pay to a man socks? I don't think so. Are you trying to get laid with socks? It's a lonely bearing. As you're slowly bearing a sock. What's your dilemma? I just don't have nice socks. I was just by white white socks You have black socks. Yeah, I know I wore them specifically tonight because I you want to look good I want to look good on the podcast. I don't think they're

Resolvable on the camera. That just looks like a black sock. That's not gonna Well, there's a space between your legs. Normal socks are like white ones I'd only go to there and it's just like like hair and yeah, I see a gammy. Are you asking that because you you are are you having trouble and you're you're trying to find the correlation? No, I mean I'm just I was just asking general because I don't normally wear nice socks, but you know, okay, it's yeah It's it's always you know, you always got to take everything into consideration. I think it all depends on the situation like if you're in everything in a consideration. I think it all depends on the situation. Like if you're in a suit with black shoes and black pants and everything

and you have white socks that are showing between the gap, that's bad. Like you gotta wear dark socks with formal wear. But the guy is already wearing a suit. You know I'm pressed enough. It ruins it. It ruins the formality of it. And like, I would never have thought

that that wearing shitty socks with, if I'm doing all that other stuff matter. What about like underwear? What if like someone dresses really sharp and then you? Well, you're not gonna see their underwear when they walk. No, no, no, but I'm saying like I guess at that point doesn't matter if you if yeah, what is the latest you've been put off by a dude? Like into a relationship. No, into What is the latest you've been put off by a dude? Like into a relationship? No, into, like into like between meeting him and having sex with him for the first time.

Like, have you ever had his trousers off when you just got ugly ass underwear? And you just been like, oh, I'm out. I usually don't care. At all. If someone has ugly underwear, unless it has stains or holes in it. Holes. I have a, eye on someone to wear with holes. Don't ever wear those around a lady.

Really? What if it's like conveniently placed holes? Like a tickle, like a blow or a hole in your underwear? Yeah, it's like. You know, a lot of men's underwear has that, if not, I think all men's underwear. Yeah, but like I've had underwear that, you know, they have the holes for it, but it's like also like, it's like a super hole. It's like there's no way your penis go. Where did it? It just kind of

What's the point of wearing underwear? I don't know like butt sweat You just got rags to dry the to soak up the sweat Have you ever heard of the game that Javais plays where he gets a little hole in his underwear and pulls through some skin and you have to guess whether it's cock or bull? I mean you'd be able to tell. Would you? Yeah. There's hair on it. Well I mean you can pull through some scrotum that doesn't have hair on it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is there a big portion of your scrotum that doesn't have hair on it Well, I mean if you just I mean it's very wrinkled up if you stretch it out

There's probably gonna be like maybe one hat very sparse and it could be a dick hat It yeah, the scrubs are pretty like sparse Yeah, I would actually be keen to see the full like an inflated version of my scrotum Just to see how big it is like Like, so under blow just, yeah. And then everything would rattle around. You could see. Well, though, one of mine is staple down, so it'd just be like,

think, think, think, think. Tell us about your scrotive, Josh. Well, I first reveal of the night. Because you have a full beard. Maybe the best beard in the company. Because you have a full beard. Maybe the best beard in the company. Maybe, yeah. Jack's has the biggest one usually, but it's not...

It's not crisp. Yours is nice. Your... Your big area must be an absolute nightmare. I mean, it depends who you are, I guess. Depends what you're... Like, does it push away or underwear from your body? It is, it's just a giant, like I have to wear a, you know,

like a 70s afro? Like a jack strap all the time to keep it, you know. It's out of control. How often do you trim? Uh, I think it can be a couple of weeks, it's not that bad actually. It's getting, I find it, like just generally I'm getting hairier as I get older all around, like the gaps

where you used to just,, this used to be cool. I have like light back here, but it's like encroaching. It's like, you'll Virgin on Robin Williams' four arms. Yeah. You can do that, do that, do that, do that. I have a question. Have you noticed that your, the area in between your ball hair has gotten more dense as well?

It is. It's kind of like, you ever see those maps of like, when the Nazis took over Europe and it just like, so it's like that. It's like that. That's your ball maps of like when the Nazis took over Europe and it just like It's like that That's my scrotum right now. It's the Nazi. It is yeah. She's the see the The forest swastika Picture No, apparently a bunch of Nazis planted some trees in the swastika formation and then like 40 years later

They saw it from a helicopter or something like she's this they saw it from a but helicopter or something like. She's this. They used a bunch of trees that turn yellow a lot earlier than all the surrounding trees. So at a certain time a year you could just see a massive swaps ticket and they spent a bunch of money like cutting it down to obscure it. There's something brilliant about that though. It's like a, it's a long play.

Yeah. There you go. Oh my God. And I think that was, where is that in Germany? I don't know where that is. I would have seen that was Germany. But I don't think it exists anymore. Wow.

Did they just cut the trees down and replant them with green ones? Or maybe they planted more trees. Oh. Made it into a big square. Yeah, a big man or something. Yeah. That's art though. I mean mean that must have taken some planning Measuring I

Couldn't have done that it's crazy to put the funhouse logo in a bunch of trees Speaking of fun house there doing some you through stuff too, they get drunk right I had seen into their stream for Maybe 10 minutes today and James was going on about the community manager for you porn, Katie, about how like she's the best community manager ever and how she's just like always watching. And it was just like, that is a rant of a drunk man. I don't know how long they'd been drinking for it, but I see some-

Are they gonna archive that stream anyway? Cause I would watch that. I was flying all day so I didn't see it You haven't seen any of it. I Know Adam was passed out. Well, they should least do a highlights or Low lights I hate missing streams and I feel like I never tune into a stream life I mean all of you have managed it right now congratulations

Unless they're watching this on YouTube If that's the case, you suck, you missed it. But yeah, it was a, I'd be scared to do that. What they're doing, they have a drinking game going for E3, where I think it's like, if someone talks about VR, someone has like a certain accent tattoo, if a tattoo is shown, like they all are different, like one's a sip, one's a drink, one's sip one to drink once a little bit of bingo last night

Oh you guys did the loser had to eat fish bones and that was me Fish bones you have to eat dried seasoned fish bones. That's not it was crunched up No, there was like a sea bass long bones and you could just like And they would like break up and go all brittle. It was disgusting. It was like the entire fish is worth a fishy flavor compressed into like this much space. It was like concentrated fish pill. It's really disgusting. I don't recommend it. Didn't you have to do like a fish vitamin thing on an RT life one. Yeah, what was that? Was that a fish oil?

My oil's made me do that or something. My oil's in Kerry. Yeah, and it burst in my mouth. Yeah. Well, I think that was the idea. I had to squish it in my mouth. Oh, that was foul. I think that was for like 20 bucks.

Nowadays, I don't think you would do that. What up? I feel like your price has risen since then. No, I just did something yesterday for like 10 bucks. Comment what it was. You made me, I ate, what was that? Canned garlic octopus once? Oh, that was on the set of laser team.

Yeah, yeah. Did we have to put that out? No, I don't think so. I have that. You probably still have it. That was, that I couldn't do it. It was just so was really bad. I probably have gotten the most useless money from Gavin's bets. Like, you one time you said you'd give me five dollars if I poured a cap of water into my crotch. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, it'll dry

in like seven seconds. It's probably I'll do it for the podcast. It's really right for the podcast, because sometimes we get here like half an hour early and it's just boring. So what will people do for like minutes? We're saving all of our conversation for the podcast. I used to do that when I worked in a supermarket when I was about 16. I once bet a guy 40 quid that he wouldn't eat, like there was loads of little sachets of ketchup

and mayo and mustard and all that stuff. And I just squeezed everything into one cup. It was like this much liquid. Vinegar as well. Nasty. And he downed it. And I was like, oh, I guess I'll go and get the 40 quid out.

How much is a 40 quid? It's probably like 60 bucks. Wow. And I realized that I, in that whole day, I earned 38 quid. So I basically worked that entire day for free and then paid two quid extra. I'm totally not worth that money. I don't know why you used to do dumb stuff like that all the time. Bernie says apparently you lost $200 to him this week? I don't want to talk about it.

I think you should talk about what happened. We're playing a game of shuffleboard that got out of control. What? What? I've never heard those two things say something. You don't think anyone below 80 has ever said that. Oh, we got out of control. He did this thing where we started.

I always start low. It was like five bucks or something. And I smashed him. And every low amount of money I won. And it was like I feel good about this a hundred dollars for this game anyone I was like damn it double nothing and I lost again to get hustled I got hustled yeah he was playing you know he's playing the dope game what kind of shuffleboards it

was at the table shuffleboard or the like actual oh it's on the table you just slide the okay park on the sand is that shuffleboard yeah yeah but shuffleboard is Yeah. Yeah. But shuffleboard is also like with a giant pole that you see at like retirement homes. Should we get one for the office? We should. Like a proper one, a big one.

That would be great. And ready for retirement by then. Yeah, he fully hustled me. The upside though is that the day before, I accidentally washed my wallet. So all the money I gave I was wet. So you got worth it at that point. Yeah, what we try.

I guess so. How did you accidentally wash your wallet? In the pocket of my shorts. Would you, if you were mad about a bet would you ever just like go wet the one money? You're like, you know, I give you the money you stick it in there. I won a hundred dollars off Michael and he drew dicks on all of it. No, he didn't. Oh, you know, I give you the money you stick it in a drink. I won a hundred dollars off Michael He drew dicks on all of it. No, he didn't oh you drew dick. He gave me five 20s Yeah, yeah, and he's like could you draw dicks on these and don't ask questions and I said sure As if like that would stop you from spending the money did did it? Yeah. Really? I think eventually I gave some of it back.

Because maybe I lost the different bet. It ended up as just bet money. All the money with Dixon was up. So I bet. You're pooled. You're pooled of bet. I think you might still have a dick, a dick 20. Dick 20?

But you just keep it as wallet. Hopefully it doesn't get it wet. God, I ruined so many business cards in my wallet. From other. All the cash survived though. It was all like soaking wet, but it didn't rip or wet. God, I ruined so many business cards in my wallet. From other... All the cash survived though. It was all like soaking wet, but it didn't rip or anything. Which is good. Yeah, it's because it's made out of cotton. What? I don't know. I... What?

It didn't make out of cotton or something? Money? Yeah. Or something weird, like a weird... It's not paper. It's like woven stuff. It's not paper? Well, you can rip it. What is American money made of? Well, I know Australian money is plastic, but it's not like that. But English money is paper. It's not paper because paper dissolves in water.

Yeah, it's linen and cotton. What? Wow, I know. I know why I can still rip it then. If you go to all that effort to make it no out of paper, make it out of something that doesn't rip like paper. It's 25% linen and 75% cotton. Just still strange.

Does that mean linen and cotton are really valuable? No. I probably just that there's a lot of them. It's not that cotton, it's the fact that it's money and cabinet. So we get rid of the gold system. And now it's like, because it used to be like, there's money you had a value in gold standard. The gold standard. We moved to the cotton standard. The Canadian money is made out of plastic. It's like polymer.

Have you ever felt it in your hands? You can't rip it or burn it or... Yeah, I don't know why it was Australian. We should just do it out of plastic. But I kind of like the feel of it. American money. I think as long as you ever felt it in your hands? You can't rip it or burn it or... Yeah, I don't know why it was in Australia. We should just do it out of plastic. But I kinda like the feel of it. American money. I think as long as you can make it rain with ones, it's okay. You don't want it too grippy. Can you do that with Canadian money?

Oh, you can make it rain even more hardcore. But we don't have one, so you spend a lot more money to make it rain. What's your lowest five? Yeah, same for England. We just throw like dollar coins. We just throw like dollar coins. Make it rain. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. How much is that? That's probably six or seven hundred

dollars probably. They have a one note for that. Yeah. Imagine losing that. Fugged it like losing a 20 makes me sad. Yeah. Can't imagine losing five or six hundred dollars or six or so. One piece of paper. Yeah, I would not trust that. You guys were talking about goofing off during work. Did Aaron ever tell you what we used to do when we were valleys downtown? No. There was this guy who used to steal stuff.

Do we tell you this? Wait, so you were both valleys at the same time? And Lynn too, right? And Lynn, his brother. This is all before recidity. No, it's a deer. We're still from town. It's a deer. We got it in life. Well, actually,. We were all three before Rucity. No, it's during we're still

Well actually just I'll get your car before the show No, we have this guy Who was the overnight guy and he used to steal stuff from everyone like he stole my girl scout cookies one night I was so mad like I watched him walk. I had to go to the car and so he wouldn't steal From cause he would steal from valet. No, he would steal from car stop He didn't drop the roll. Yeah, he was yeah, you know, he would he would burn any bridge if he could get off stealing something But Aaron and I we ran experiments overnight and so we would we would we gathered things and we would Itemize them and we would hide them around the office to see what he would steal and so we would do like We did increments of money one night It was like we had penny like three pennies and a nickel and a dollar and we put them in and we chronic them to see what he would steal. And so we would do like, we did increments of money one night. It was like, we had three pennies and a nickel and a dollar

and we put them in and we'd chronicle them to see what was the lowest amount he would steal. How do you know it was him? Because he's the only one. Like, and we had the, we'd come in back in at 7 a.m. Did you hide GoPro? Do we fight, no, we're not that high tech. Not yet. This is bad.

This is all scorpion level. This is old school up here in level. This is old school like spy tactics. But he broke a Chinese finger trap once. Like we left it and we found it in the trash broken. And so we wrote this whole report, I'll show it to you all sometime, but we wrote an entire report about our findings. And it was just like, it's just ridiculous.

Like the Chinese finger chap we wrote demonstrates non-mastery of Chinese torture to us. What about the one with the candy bar? Yeah, the candy bar is the best. So we, because he would steal food, he was predominantly a food thief. And so he could eat it, and that'd be the evidence. Yeah, but so we left a candy bar at the Valais stand for him.

And we came back, like left at 11 p.m. The night came back 7 a.m. The next morning and it was still there and I was like there's there's no fucking way like that was that was you know That was the biggest thing you could have left for And I was looking at it during the morning shift and I realized it was not the same candy bar It was it was a double size of the same one and I put this together through clues later But at some point in the night he had eaten this candy bar Discarded it in the trash and then to cover his tracks had gone all the way into the hotel Stolen a candy

Taken it and replaced it thinking thinking you got a size. Yeah, with the wrong size a gap in the candy bars like from where he'd taken it and replaced it thinking They can get a size yeah with the wrong size that's a sloppy what so he stole two candy bars And it's all in the report, so yeah, what was his name Lynn? It was not when I wish it was Lynn I don't say his name. Why he's a chief. He's watching right now. Do we know of? No. Oh, okay. No one knows him. Anyways. Did you confront him ever? No. It was too fun to do like the...

It would have broken the illusion, I think. Was he... Do you think he was aware that you knew? No. No. No. Not at all. No.

It's totally accidentally stole this report that you had typed out. You're much in the fight. That'd be like a Truman show type discovery. You log like when he goes to the bathroom. It was good. We had a whole kind of slant to it. We had different action figures. We had a black baby and a white baby to see the drawing his racism.

Yeah, we're seeing that he didn't take either. He didn't take either. What does that tell you, Ben? Yeah, he's not into action figures. No. That must have been so fun to experiment with. Yeah, so much to shame you don't still do that with him, because we can make some.

We just go back to that. We just show up like five years later. Maybe there's someone stealing at Rooster Teeth who we could do it too. Yeah, who could we could we could try and just push someone to steal. I see. They could just start testing them with like dollar bills here. Yeah, you start small.

What if you could hire an employee and then some I'm one person like teach them that that's part of the culture? I thought you were going to say like we could hire one employee and everyone could steal from them. That would also be really good. How would you teach him that's the culture? Like we're like, I don't know, our old children Right? Like you're like, oh yeah, that's one of the things. Anytime you want something, just take it.

Like you see food, you have to eat it because you might be hungry. Yeah, and it also be like, it's totally cool. No one's gonna get mad at you. The trash is up for grabs too. Yeah, like it just like teaches them all these horrible practices. If anything is left on a flat surface, that means you could take it. And then do it in front of him so that he thinks it's okay. And like everyone do-

But it's just your own laptop. Yeah, or you maybe you'd have to do it as a group or something like a group work together to teach them. And then when they eventually get fired for stealing, they're like, I thought it was just the thing. That's a horrible, horrible thing. You're like, that's a problem. It's such a long way.

We haven't had this guy's position as a company. Yeah. You're going for the Nazi tree swastika there. So if you get hired at Rooster Teeth, watch out. Look out for Chris, trying to teach you things that aren't true. Were you mad when I spotted a GoPro during the great scorpioning of 2015? I wasn't mad at Gavin, I was disappointing.

Yeah. No, it was, yeah, I don't know who told me but someone told me you would be the best person to do that too And I apparently that was absolutely not true So yeah, I person because he like he knows people paint it. Well the thing the annoying thing was I was sat down It in whatever breakfast I was having and I looked straight into the lens. I was like Hmm, and I was like, oh, there's this scorpion. Damn it. I really haven't delivered on this film. It's hard to pretend though.

That's what you've done. When you do like a big set up for someone and they don't react. Yeah. There were other people that didn't, it didn't phase at all. Like Ellis, or Gilby, and I'm else we did too. And it just, it was nothing. Also Lindsey too, she's just like, is this it? Oh yeah, yeah.

But that one worked pretty well because that one was in the break room. So that got a bunch of people. I also saw you put one on my desk. I did put one on your desk. You weren't here. You weren't here. Oh, yeah.

And I was probably the person most afraid of that thing. Like do you remember the email I sent you that morning? Yeah, because you were like, is this serious? Like you were. I was literally like, I this serious? Like, you were... I was literally like, I am not coming to work until... Like, I was... Why let, you know, Paco and animation

who worked on Tilla LaRouche's with me, I had to let him know, because he's even during shooting Tilla LaRouche's, he was deathly, like, it wouldn't be in the same room. Yeah, I remember that. And so I had to let him know. Is he a logic swell or something? Or just a schedule?

Just deep fear. Was it lethal Scorpion no, it couldn't kill you. I don't think we would keep that I mean it could still I mean it could still aren't all scorpions lethal No, I don't think it'll kill you. I mean it would hurt but not bad It'd be like a beasting that's still the only scorpion I've ever seen. I've never seen one in the wild I see a little bunch in Texas. The little yellow ones. Those are worse. Yeah, the little ones are more dangerous. Those are worse than, yeah. And those people find in like their sink. Oh, yeah. Oh my god.

And I'm like, my biggest fear is the, I don't think there's any in Texas, but the bugs that live under the toilet seat and like, bite your knob when it comes down. Ooh, and Chris. And this toilet seat. And tell if it's knobberboss. But can you imagine here, if you were a snake swimming up someone's U-Bend and then you just saw like a packet of testicles just hanging there, it would be like the ripest fruit to bite.

I think if I came up a toilet I would bite a screw up just because it looks so. It's like I got a bite. It's like when you fight like a boss in a video game. It's like they're weak. Yeah. And it'll be like red and swollen as the boss gets more ingest. I always think about people tuning into the podcast at certain moments. Like when you're just like just hanging there like all delicious,

like I'd bite a scrotum. It's just not an angle I've seen. I've never seen bulls hanging inside a toilet. You're not this much. Speaking of biting, speaking of biting scrotums, have you ever stood up a guy on a date? Have I ever stood up a guy on a date? Yeah.

Never. Have you, like, also I haven't been on very many dates. Well, you did some internet dating, didn't you? Yeah, but the first guy I met I ended up dating for two months. You were just like, you win, you lie defaults.. Well I was picky about who I actually went to meet. I only met two people. Yeah he was, you know, that was in a great relationship. It wasn't bad.

It was two months. It was two months. Two months, okay. He doesn't work at a hotel does he? No. He works in tech. What's his name? I'm not good. Gavin free. He works in tech. What's his name?

Gavin free. Do you do internet dating? Yeah, yeah, I'm not even able to do internet dating. Or app or whatever. Did you get stood up? Is that what you're asking? I got stood up. Oh, you, oh wow.

Do you think she walked in and saw you and left? No. Do you think she walked in and saw your socks and I wasn't even I wasn't even there Did she see your scrotum from beneath? No, but it was it was a like it was a weird thing too because we'd been talking Texting we talked on the phone like it was like it was a rapport. Yeah, we texted that day A couple an hour or two earlier, talking about meeting up or meeting there or whatever. And I show up. And then, as I'm pulling up, not, you know,

I'm just like, I can't do this. I'm having a panic attack. Oh my god. She didn't stand you up. She was just, yeah, that's not getting stood up. But then, but then, and then, like, no response after that. No, like, I was like, at least she told you up she was just. Yeah, that's not getting stood up, getting stood up. But then, but then like, and then like, no response after that. No, like, I was like, at least she told you. She was having cold feet or whatever, but it was like a weird kind of like. Did you try messaging her? Yeah, I mess it, nothing.

No, even like, I'm sorry, you know, like, when did you message her back? Like, well, immediately, and then later, following up, being like, sorry about, you know, sorry I gave you a panic of that, but I would say maybe send one more message being like, hey I hope everything's okay, I did that, I did that. But like I would say like one more follow up in case you don't hear from her. Be like, just you know, if you're not interested that's cool, but you know, I did like a follow-up

like, hey sorry, blah blah blah. She didn't respond. No. Oh. She's pulling the gav in free blah blah. She didn't respond. No. Aw. She's pulling a gabbin' free on you. I don't do that. You used to do that to girls, didn't you? Just stop responding.

It's ghosting. That's not what just goes. It's just like, it's just people. There's all humans. You don't want their friendship anymore. You just stop. I just don't sign off, basically. Yeah.

If the conversation's pretty much done, then that's it. I'd have to say bye, I was like, I don't know. So I'm going to do my best impression of Gus and I'm going to read something real fast here. So I want to remind everyone that this episode of the Ruchitith podcast is brought to you by Audible.com. Audible.com is the leading provider of audiobooks with more than 250,000 damnable titles across all types of literature, including fiction, nonfiction, and periodicals.

Audio books are great to listen to when you're driving, doing chores, or at the gym. For our audience members, Audible is offering... Audible is offering a free 30-day trial. Just go to audible.com slash rooster teeth and browse the over 250,000 audio programs, download a free title and start listening. It's that easy. One of the books that I read or actually listened to on Audible was Bosse Pants. I don't know if you guys heard that

by Tina Fey. You know what's a great book on Audible? If a birthday you don't succeed by Zach Canter. That's on Audible too. It's Zach reading it himself. Yeah, it's really funny. It's really funny too. Why'd you laugh at him reading it? No, because Zach has like... Hey guys! Zach's delivery of everything makes it funnier. Like just whatever Zach says, it's always... Why is Zach's son like Sloth? It must take forever to read a book in, you know, for audible, for an audio book.

Oh, especially if you flub, you have to like, go back to the beginning of the sentence. Especially, he's not very good reading. We're not cause reading. It's the sound editors do it. They cut it together. Like, it's really awesome, like they. It's awesome.

You know what else is awesome? You can get a free 30 day trial at audible.com slash rooster teeth. That's audible.com slash rooster teeth. How long did it take him? Sorry, I didn't finish it. How long did it take him to read his own book? It's like a week. I think it was like three or four days.

He said it was awful. He was four days though. He said it was, he was so bad at it because he sucks at reading. And then like, you know, he like, you know, just, reading anything for that period of time is exhausting. Oh yeah. Always impressed with Game of Thrones

because usually the guy does all the voices. But sometimes you don't know what voice the character is until you've got to the end of it. It'd be like blah, blah, blah, blah, said Terry and whatever. So I assume they have to pre-mark all the lines. Oh, we're talking about the game of the voices. What did I say? I was just, I didn't know if you're talking about the show or audio book. Is it George R or Martin Reading? No, it's Roy DoeO'Tree or something. So it's not like the Harry Potter books, which have awesome audio books

where they change their voice every character. You've heard those? No. They're awesome. So it's actually different actors? Some award-winning guy. Yeah, I mean, the guy and doing Game of Thrones does a bunch of voices.

No, but you just don't know which character it is. Well, I mean, I was wondering how he knew before. Like if you're just reading something, you don't know when you start a line, who it mean, I was wondering how he knew before. Like, if you're just reading something, you don't know when you start a line, who it is. I would assume they would like color code each line that he had to do his voice for. I assume. But it must take forever.

And I swear in those damn, or like I listen to the first book, the Game of Thrones, the book. Because what's your call, the whole thing song and I should find the first game of the book. Yeah, but it's one of the Game of Thrones. I swear if you turn the volume up high enough you can hear someone else in the background reading a different book like it sounds like

like you're cool. It sounds like that like whenever there's a moment of silence you can hear like it's just the same book is this different book. Didn't you say you could hear Meg's movie on the plane going somewhere? Yeah, it was like a 50th of the volume of my movie, but when I paused it I could hear The loud moments in her movie on one C over. I think you just have someone in your head. I think I just have good hearing What I With a Zax book is you can un-audible you can play it back at 0.75% speed So just sound from the south so whenever I'm at his house, I'll just start playing his audio book,

but it points at the five speed. And he sounds so wasted. It's like he does drunk. It's just like, and there I was, drunk, and about there. They've ever listened to our podcast at half speed. You should go on YouTube and watch like over-steed podcasts at half speed. It sounds you should go on YouTube and watch like over sheet podcast at half speed

It sounds like we're all high and drunk at the same time. It's like Gus is like You know what you could do with Whoa, that sound like a hot speed really slow So have you you've never done like a tender date or anything like that and you saw an online date? Never? Never. I assume I'd be terrible at it. Yeah. I never even asked anyone out. You just like what? Like what do you mean you never asked? Just wait for the time you just played. I always just played the really

really slow game where I'd meet someone. I'd be like, I'm interested. So I'd be like, I try and be all like funny and, you know, advance into flirtiness. Uh-huh. Over like months. Like, just took forever. And then eventually just, either it was so obvious that she would say, I would just have a fear of rejection, basically. But either be so obvious that we could let Mutually agree to do something together, or I would just get asked to do something. Because I was just way too scared of someone saying no. How would that destroy you? I'd just be like, oh, but then you'd move on. Yeah, I'd just be sad.

Very short picture. How have you ever asked anyone out and they said no? Uh, because I can't imagine that happening. No, I didn't technically ask someone out, but I made it very clear that I liked them. Were you doing stuff like this? I was doing some of this. I was doing some of this. I'm a blowjob. I think somehow got the message, it was weird.

But I've never been like, hey, would you like to go on a date with me to somebody? You've never been like, hey, let's go catch a drink. No, it's weird. Go catch a drink. I've got tickets to this drink tomorrow night. For some reason I got stood up. I don't know. Maybe she was used by you wanting to catch a drink.

We're grab the movie. But, I mean, you've been on lots of... Lots of, you know, I see your face. I know because I chronicled some of them last time. Yeah, they're awful. You thought I have more stories than that. I do. So many stories. I've never been stood up though, I don't think.

And I don't think I've ever been. That was the first time I was over. That was the first time I ever, like I should've stood up. I was calling that stood up though. Yeah, it was. It was because you, I was just wondering what it was. I bought tickets to something and drove there

on us at the place. But I think being stood up means you're just there waiting for them and they never show up. Yeah, but like, I feel like, I don't know. I've got canceled at Yeah, but like, I feel like, eh. This is even canceled on. I got canceled at the event like while I was there. At least she canceled.

It's all I'm sad. Yeah. Yeah, it would have been worse if I'd gone in there and sat there. With your red rose. Yeah, because playing like fully stood up. Yeah. Yeah, he did. Yeah.

But then he went viral with it. Yeah. He could only complain so much. What if it wasn't, what if it was all a stunt? What if he, there never was a girl and he just wanted, he's only complain so much. What if it wasn't what if it was all a stunt? What if he there never was a girl and he just wanted he's just a publicity horror? Well, I mean you know what he does He acts like he's sad and then girls come up to him and ask what's wrong It could absolutely be the case where he didn't ever get stood up He just went there looking sad and no one ever came up as well

I mean I was I had a tear in my eye at the bar no one came over totally got stood up But yeah tell tell story tell another tender story tell a story grandma No, well there were okay, so there was there was a girl No, well, there was a girl that I went on some tender dates with. She was a kindergarten teacher, actually. And it was the first time I've ever felt used, like sexually used by someone. Not in like a weird, like just like where they kind of get what they want. And then you're just sitting there like, like huh, okay like what what about me? So we would go out and and

We'd go back to our house. I remember like we would we would like to spend the night at her house and the middle of the night She'd wake up and she just climb on top of me and it was like oh, okay And then like start going like oh this is fun and then like a minute later just flop off done sleep like out I'm just sitting there like like after she came. Yeah, she'd come and then like a like a just What's your heavy woman? No But that's what it I mean it was just so it instant. You know, it was like you're sleeping someone, you know, like, play, like it's fun,

like you kinda wake someone up with, that's like, when you're in bed together, I'm like, oh, this is not, oh, like fun. And then just immediately, like, she's like, narcoleptic or something, or something, just like that. I don't know, I would think that was cool. It's not that cool when you're not,

when you're still, you wanna keep going. And then you're like, huh. Just go to the bathroom, finish yourself up. Now you know what it's like. Like a stranger's house. You go to the stranger's house You're like it's she has roommates or something Just in her kitchen it's like no, no, you don't understand she flopped off She was probably trying to assert her dominance over no she was and and Yeah, I mean I like I felt used it almost like I went home like it's kind of like a roll reversal

Yeah, no, yeah, I get it. It was consensual though. It was totally a content. Yeah, but just so Yeah, the attenders not all this crack up Yeah, did she at least let you spoon after? With your raging The school dance like six inch roll After the end I just like not be good so she wouldn't finish So you can just like have more time. Yeah, well that was one of those things where I kind of I just I stopped talking to her Like I didn't really end it. I just was like, yeah, you want to come overnight?

I was thinking like, no. Really? So I would just be like, just, yeah, just, you know, dead. That has never happened to me. Yeah, it was different. I was like, oh, girl falling asleep right after? Just being like, you used just for the, I mean, it was consistent too.

It wasn't just like once. It was like, I went over there, I think, three or four different nights. And it was every night. It was the exact same thing So did you have a single night where you arrived? Like now we're trying to be I think I think I think one yeah Once that was it. Yeah one out of four. Maybe she didn't like it man I wish you get invited Harbs like that must be tough must be difficult to be a dude

I kept inviting me and the car was like, that must be tough. It must be difficult to be a dude. Yeah. Anyways, what about like a bad, like just bad for states? Bad for states. I don't have any like disastrous ones. I only have one bad for state

and it wasn't even that bad. But it was a guy who I met. I had moved to Austin and I signed up on match.com. So I was like, this is a good way to meet people without having to go outside of my house. And I met a guy who was really cute and we had like great conversation via text message. He was really funny and like witty and stuff. And when I met him in person, it was like meeting a cardboard box where everything I said kind of just like went and

And like he wasn't talking he was very quiet like never really like looked me in the eye when we were talking Maybe shy he was shy, but he was also 33 Yeah, maybe by then you could be a little more Comfortable was he was he like and you could be a little more comfortable. Was he like socially awkward in general? Was he just nervous around you? I couldn't, I mean. I guess you would know.

I would. No, there's my only interaction with him. But it wasn't even like, it was just not a good date. Yeah. And like neither of us texted each other after it. Like we both had this understanding where it was like, this is not. Yeah.

The message. Maybe he needed a couple of beves in him. Maybe. We did go for a walk around a museum. Yeah. Well, that's not really brilliant. I mean, it was an outdoor museum. It wasn't like quiet.

Okay. We're not actually going to get tickets to the museum. We're just going to walk around it. Yeah. It was really weird to not date to the library. We weren't allowed to talk. That was the problem. I think that's part of the problem.

Some old bitty kept shushing. That's all. See, I, uh, man, I attended a day where it's like, I was like, if he on like meeting up in the way, because it was like, oh, some of these pictures, girls cute and some of them, I was like, I don't know. We met up in immediately. I was just not interested in partly

because when she introduced herself, she sounded like a 60-year-old Smoker. Yeah, I think she I think she lied about her. It was exactly what I don't remember. It's like And and she just what you know like was in is like didn't look like her pictures Or yeah, look anyway, so we're like oh my soul hide the me though. No did not well I was like well have a drink or to apply drink drink Get wait we caught a drink and then I ordered a beer drink a movie and She ordered a beer and and two shots do I get two shots of whiskey

order to beer and two shots. I get two shots of whiskey. That's a god. And I was like, it was just like also like a Tuesday night. I was not like, I didn't want to take shots. Wasn't like a party night. No. Right. Which is good because there's two shots came out and she took both of them.

It's like, dude, dude. It's like, hey, you want to go outside for a cigarette? I was like, no. You should be like, you smoke. So we're out, we're out. I'm like drinking like, I just kind of like, how long can I stay here politely without like being rude? Do you like checking your watch?

No, I was just, you know, but we're talking and subject to travel came up. And she was like, well, where's the coolest place you've ever been to? And she's like, probably bad to begin it probably Australia Australia is crazy I was like that's yeah I've Australia's I've been Australia for where in Australia did you go it's like New Zealand oh so she sounded like that and she was dumb and I was like you mean you went you went to New Zealand and Australia?

It's like, no, I went to New Zealand, Australia. Like, as in, it was like a city or a state or something in Australia. Maybe that's a tiny village. It's really easy. I kept trying to correct her. It's like, so, you know, like, where did you, and she kept correcting me.

It's like, no, I went to Australia. And then I was like, well, why did you go to Australia? I remember like, what did you do? It's like, I didn't really do much. That was just like, I was only there for three days. I was just, I was like, why the hell would you go to Australia for three days? And she's like, oh, if there's a stripper coming. We were just doing a bunch of drugs. And then then... Where did you beat this woman? I Tinder! How old is this woman? I don't know because I think she lied about her age.

What did she give us like a picture? I'm not... Okay imagine like an attractive lady and then add 20 years of drugs and smoking. And then that's the answer. And you couldn't tell her in her pictures? No, because I don't think they were like recent pictures. I think they were like, I think they were older pictures of her in Australia.

And they were older pictures of her. And then they'd been like, you know. I'd like to find her profile and see that she's like smoking crack in one picture and like, she's cooking her. And you're like, I don't know what? I enmatched with her on Tinder. Like, it's before I left my car on the way home.

Yeah. Drought. Terrible story. What's your best first date that you've ever had? Best first date. And keep in mind some of you have girlfriends, so you should probably talk about that. I just told you.

It's like, good warning. Yeah, thank talk about that. I just told with that. That's like good warning. Yeah, thank you for that. Best first dates. I don't know. Those aren't interesting stories Barbara. They might be for some people. Like tell us about your amazing first date with whatever dude that this was.

Where you walk around the museum. It's great. You really hit it off in the good home. Now I haven't I haven't really I don't like a lot of relationships. I've had I can't really tell what the first day was. Right. That's how I feel like as an adult. I could tell you in high school or maybe college, but now it's like it's kind of worry. When you're a current one you worked with before right? Yeah, so we didn't really have a first date. I could start hanging out. Do you remember the day you met him? I do. Do you think man? Look at those boots. No, I thought he hated me the first day of that Aaron. It was, Chris was giving a tour to Aaron. I think Josh you were there, Zach, Anna, Brad, like maybe one other person. It was like later at night at the old South Austin office.

And I walked in and I was like, Hey, what's up? And you were like, these are, you know, some of my friends from college and stuff. And I was like, Hey, what's up? And like, Zach, way of you waved. And Aaron, like, just wouldn't look at me. And I was like, this is fucking asshole. This is a problem. It's way too cool. Way too cool for me. Yeah, that's the person I met him.

When I first met him, I thought it was a douchebag. I think he has that perception a lot. I know Blaine thought that of him, because he was just wearing this leather jacket, sitting at his desk. I like him now, but it was one of those situations where I guess I just hadn't, he'd already been working here a while and I just never interacted with him to the point where we never got introduced to each other

or I never said hi. They became awkward, yeah. And all of a sudden he was directing an immersion that I was in. It was just like back and forth. I was like, I don't really know anything about this guy and it's gone on too long. I can't really be like, yeah, I'm going to have to stand.

I'm Gavin, by the way, like, we don't need to be too deep into it. I don't think it's ever too late to do that. I Have done it before sometimes it's like well that's like in there recently Martial was like nice to meet you. I was like, yeah, we worked together In videos with Martial, he's like I don't think we've met I was like I think we have I thought he was kidding, but because at first I laughed. And he was just like stone cold.

I was like, oh, you know we've met before, right? We've worked together for two months before you quit. That has to be a joke. I don't know. He's a weird one, that Marshall. It's funny. It was funny if it was a joke. It's not as pretty funny anyway. I've done this. I wasn't offended.

Where I've gone on a really long time without introducing myself and then I go to introduce myself and they're like, you know We've already you already introduced yourself and I've forgotten that I already introduced myself and I just like became more of an asshole There are some people that work here that whenever they say hi to me they always say my name. They're like, hey Barbara what's up? And I never remember what their name is. It's always like the same person. And I'm always like, hey! Just say who it is. You don't know who it is. You can't even say who it is. Dude, but I'm just like trying to come up with more clever ways that I could say someone's, like, hello to somebody without reference to your name. I got called out once by Daniel. Washtenil.

For Bella? For Bella. Where he would always do that, he would always say, hey Gavin, what's up? And I'd be like, what's up? Because I don't know, I just how I do it. I just say that. And it went on, I could tell he was trying to be like,

I can't just say my name. Get me to say his name. And one time at a party, he was like, hey Gavin, I was like, what's up man? He's like, you still don to say my name. Get me to say his name. And one time at a party, he was like, hey Gavin, I was like, what's up man? He's like, you still don't know my name. I was like, I know your name, Daniel. And he was like, oh, I'm so sorry. I like, I knew it, I just wasn't saying it.

But I felt so good. I was like, you're damn right, I know your name, you prick. He just wants to play the victim. Yeah, I like Daniel, he's class. He just was with you, was he with you and India? No. No, he wasn't. Matt was Matt Hams. Yeah. The guy who directed the connected doc also did the doc with you and Bernie. Was that a new house? They like filmed a new house. Yeah.

What was that like? It was fine. They're only there for, you know, a couple hours each day. It was an all day every day. Looking for the bottle. You don't care about your space though really. Like we filmed We filmed some of that bad naked ladies video in your apartment while you weren't there. Yeah, it was weird I don't know why you would let us do that. Because I don't really have anything private. Yeah, it was like really pissed off Why? Because I was watching the footage of that video and you're in my apartment in one scene and there's a basket of laundry behind you and that's my laundry basket full of my laundry. But I purposely put in the laundry room like close the doors so that nobody's probably like I need some fodder for this room. But it was my dirty laundry right behind you and I was like

Never let someone film in my place Because I know people snoopin around Yeah, I was just like moving stuff. I was like here's my apartment like you should have what you need here Like I assume you guys need to bed and a couch and all that stuff to film it Why would you need a hundred basket like that doesn't run through my head? I don't know were you there I was there I'm not gonna take credit from I someone smelling your laundry. It's like that makes me very uncomfortable. Now, he only smelled the clean laundry. Yeah.

Yeah. All my laundry is clean. I don't sweat or sink or anything. Sweet. You don't sweat. Dude, hey, have a question. Oh. Dude, yeah.

Yeah. So, dude, do girls ever smell dude's laundry? Like, as a thing what like a sexual thing yeah like would you ever be like smells like often do you get off on Aaron's laundry that's the well I guess I'm saying is a smell of the dudes junk like a turn on no no a smell of the dudes like pheromones are like but that's attached to his junk I mean like I'm not talking about junk pheromones to do some pheromones are. But that's attached to his junk. I'm talking like I'm not talking

about junk pheromones. Did you say pheromones? Yeah. It usually comes from their hair chest hair top of the head. If you don't have to. I must have more pheromones than anyone. Where's the bubble? I don't know. You took it. Did I? You took it and then didn't you? It's on the ground. So it's in that chest. You try to sniff it everywhere. Fair amounts are everywhere. Well that's why I mean you probably have experiences a lot with girlfriends or girls that you've like cuddled with. They were they sleep right here and they like muzzle in. That's best because not only is it comfortable but it smells good. Yeah it's like a win-win.

Yeah. I guess it's like a win-win. Yeah. I guess it's like a girl's hair, because that's, you always smell a girl's hair. I read some things somewhere. I don't know how accurate it is, where the reason that evolution has made it so that females are typically shorter than men is because that's where the pheromones come out

for a lot of women, I guess. And so, like, guys would be more attracted to women than they get to smell the top of their heads of interesting or or is it reverse where? The pheromones come out of the top of the head because women are shorter. I Don't know is it an apple or the egg? Jesus why were you stood up again? Get on a damn shirt, I'm wearing it. That was like one of the all-time greatest I think.

I can't even realize you said something wrong until you corrected yourself and then I heard it back in my head. Well, I get the egg paper. What was the apple? I think it's like for how far from the tree did the apple fall or something? Yeah, the apple and egg. You can't kill two birds with one egg. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, God. Well, I also want to mention that this podcast is also brought to you by Blue Apron. Not all ingredients are created equal. Fresh, high-quality ingredients taste better and are better for you, like eggs.

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With people right, was it the apple of the egg? It's just pages of it. Chris, you're just delivering such gold this entire day. I'm really bad with analogies. It's like, is it an analogy or metaphor? I don't, whatever, yeah, I'm bad with them. That's whatever, whatever it is, I'm bad with them. That's whatever, whatever it is I'm bad with it. That was a thing on Idiot Abroad where Karl Polkinson went to a place where they matched

dates based on whether they liked the smell of a t-shirt. Like everyone wore a t-shirt and then they would put into bags and people would just sniff all the shirts and they would pick that favorite one. I think that sounds really interesting. I would totally do that. Isn't that kind of dating app or dating service that they do? Where they send you.

Yeah, it's called film at Barber's apartment. Aaron was there on that shoot. He thought your laundry smelled great. I wonder if you could choose the type of clothing, like underwear. I mean, what if that would make? Where does underwear for a week? Take your favorite lady based off her Fairman months? So did he ask you out?

Who? Aaron. No, we just started hanging out. Yeah, it's weird how that that's sometimes is what happens. Yeah, I know one has to ask anyone out. It's just like, oh, is that your laundry in the background? Oh, yeah, it is. So you'll be able to see my laundry basket when it goes closer to Gavin.

Oh, there it is. There it is. And you guys took some out and put it like spread out. Oh, oh. And I was just thinking I was like, what did I put away to wash this thing? Yeah, that created a lot of anxiety for me. Yeah, you shouldn't let people film in your place,

in my opinion. Well, if you ever have the chance, you listening at home, you might think it'll be great. A film crew will come in and my place, in my opinion. Well, if you have a chance, you listening at home, you might think, it'll be great. A film crew will come in and my place will be famous. They will trash the place. I've never met a film crew that doesn't leave it the way. I'm not fully totally fine. Yeah, it was pretty good.

But you kind of get used to that. Especially when you go to school for film and you work like Indy's scrappy, like, because it's always someone's house you're using. Yeah, I mean, college don't know how many times you film but my house or your house or Zach's house or wherever. And it's like, you know what I, what I really mean is that if we ever come to you and say,

hey, can we film million dollars but in your house, always say no. It always involves like liquid splashing or like someone exploding or blood-gathering. It's also $1 dollars at my house too. Did we? I don't know if you were in that episode. Which one was it?

I think it was, it wasn't the birthing one. Oh, it was the body builder one. Oh. I really had to be pushed around by a body builder and I think Bernie and Ashley were in my bed together. It was like a body builder there and it was just like this is weird to watch. They're like all cuddled up.

That was when we did in some dudes place, where it was a scene where I was in a bed and I had to wake myself up with a fart, like sniffed myself awake with this fart. And a plane was like, yeah, just getting the bed. I pulled the covers back. There's a bunch of like crumbs and hair. Oh.

Yeah, I know it doesn't make any sense, but I'm absolutely gonna sleep on top of the covers. It was bed, I'm not getting it. That was so but I'm absolutely gonna sleep on top of the covers I don't know whose place that was I don't think it was anyone we knew I think it was just a like an Airbnb or something either an Airbnb or just a rental someone who's the worst thing you had to film for my dollars, but The most unpleasant one was eating the cake Although I never told this story I got knocked unconscious on the set of million dollars, but you did what so there was the one where you get attacked by animals and Max Kromke was operating an eagle or something and it had to like bite my neck So I was like pretending to be scared in bed of this eagle and then someone else was firing blood and

We shot it and then I blacked out, and when I came to, everyone was like moving the cameras out of the room, like they're like, yeah, we got the shot. And I guess they thought I was just acting dead, but I think he hit my neck in a way that was the Vulcan death grip. And it just cut off the blood to my head or something.

But I was fully unconscious for like 20 or 30 seconds. Oh, I thought you were gonna say minutes. No. But I was just telling you that. So it was the bird attacking your neck. So I was there like this, and then Max was like, I was, and then he wasn't there anymore, and was walking out the door,

and then we're moving the cameras. I was like, time to skip. It was like just completely unconscious. And I was dizzy for like two hours. I don't know what happened. It was a scene. So it's so weird. I'm just gonna unconscious and I was dizzy for like two hours. I don't know what happened. There was a scene so it's a different take that yeah Oh, you kind of do see your head fall a little yeah, but I was also acting like I was dying So it was probably combined to me just oh my god

Nobody noticing and I didn't tell anyone cuz I was like I'm not sure if I'm dying or something You should probably tell someone about that when that happens. Yeah I was just like so out of it and dizzy for the rest of the day. He was wailing on my jugular. He was like punching me in the neck. And I haven't even told Max. Max you knocked me out. You almost killed Gavin. Max. I would actually be interested to see the footage past the end of that cut. Yeah, me too.

And if they kept rolling and I just kept laughing there. Which is just like, they're like, all right, great. Move on. And I'm still there. If I started snoring, that would be the absolute indicator that I was unconscious. Yeah. Would you snore if you're knocked out though? A lot of people do.

The moment they get knocked out, they're just like deep snoring. Yeah. You can't faint if you're lying out though, a lot of people do, the moment they get knocked out, they're just like deep snoring. Now. You can't faint if you're lying down though, right? Because fainting is just the blood getting drained from your head. Yeah. Or all going to you. I mean, what if you faint from like anxiety or something?

Or I don't know, like faint, does faint mean you have to fall? Like you can face out, but I think like fainting you actually like falling. Can you faint in your sleep? I don't know. Probably. You could pass out in your sleep.

You could die in your sleep if it's if it's day five. Oh, you're a masterful. You like that? When does that come out Josh? That comes out in six days. It comes out June 19th. Holy shit. You were shooting that for a long time. For 10 straight weeks.

That's ridiculous. Yeah. That was what, 49 days? 49 days. We shaved one day off. So we did a live stream this past weekend with the cast. Yeah. And you want to talk about the first episode?

We did some changes with that. Did we? Oh, it's coming. It's for everyone. There we go it's for everyone. So originally all of day five was gonna be sponsor only but we know a lot of people have been waiting a long time for day five and so we want to share the first episode with the entire community so it's gonna be available on the Root East site on YouTube and pretty much every place. How is that for an

announcement and that Sony? Take that. That is that for an announcement? And that's Sony. Take that. That is a reveal number one. And it's not like the first episode, it's like eight minutes long. The first episode is, how long is the first episode? 45 minutes long. 45 minutes long. So it's like half a movie.

Yeah, it's like an hour long show you'd see on TV. Right, it's like Breaking Bad or Walking Dead or anything, it was same length. So you get this. Three out of four people are in the show at some point up here. One of us is not in it. Chris opted out hoping for a better role in season two.

I'm like, I don't know what I'm going to be saying. My agent has advised me to wait for the second season. Yeah. Yeah, both me and Gavin are in the same episode. What? What? I'm not allowed to say that. Let's do it later. me and Gavin are in the same episode. Oh, Jesus. What? What? I'm not allowed to say that.

Let's do late now. I wasn't even gonna say that. So you think reveal. That's fine. You said three of us. And he said he wasn't. Yeah. Kind of.

It was already out of the bag. Yeah. The egg was out of the bag. The wind. Apple got there first. The only reason I minute is because I was walking back from the Let's Play. Oh yeah, we were shooting the big Let's Play announcement fight. Yeah, and I was wrapped and they were just wrapping up some of funhouse screw attack stuff. Yeah, Chris was walking

towards me and he was like, you want to be in day five tomorrow? And I was like, all right. All right. He came to me. I remember, he was very excited. He's like, I got Gavin. Well, I was like, it was on the teeth. And it's like, we were like, oh, we don't have anyone for this part.

We're just, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, I'll find someone for this part that will be good rather than just like, it was really good. Yeah, it's a great. And I was like, give me, give me five minutes. Everyone is across the part in the lot. You're going to get something. Right now, I a great game. And I was like, give me five minutes. Everyone is across the parking lot. You're gonna get something right now. I will walk over there and I'll find someone.

So I like walked over and it's like Gavin. And I walked back, I was like, I got Gavin. Yeah, he's like, yeah. And he was like, what are you doing tomorrow? I was like, I'm going to find to England. He was like, what time? I was like, like 5 p.m. He's like, can you be in day five before that?

I was like, all right. So we have to shoot everything and I had a hot out. I mean, you never, as someone being in stuff, you never have a hot out typically. Usually you're there until it's shot. But I was like, the only hot out. But I think we got you out right at it. Exactly, it was like, to the minute,

and then I went straight to England. I mean, the production on day five was incredible. That whole crew was just like on top of things. Yeah, it was amazing. We actually got this really awesome crew because, so the Texas Filaments and it's dried up because the Senate messed them up and now hopefully in a year or two they'll come back

and we'll get a lot more stuff. Yeah, they took away the cool text breaks and stuff. Yeah, it was a lot. It was like a hundred million or something. That's why Rodrigo moved to New Mexico. And because he did that, because from Dustel Dawn moved to New Mexico, we because he did that, because from Dust Taldon moved to New Mexico, we got all the good crew

that would have worked on that show. So that was so easy. But in general, we need to incinerate a good thing. They're great, they're awesome. Because they actually bring more talented people to Texas and bad. We had the good is that we had short term, short, and that they had to work for that particular production. It was good. But for the rest of the state, short term short like and that they had for that particular production

It was good, but for the rest of the state. Yeah, we need them general. It's bad There's another really talented actor in y'all's episode Which is the there's a big party episode. I'll say what the context of the party is but there's a big end of the world party This is your story time. Yeah, this is the thing I mentioned on the stream yesterday, but I haven't talked about it. So there was a lovely lady, some would say she was an exotic dancer. Some might say that, but she was she was playing there's there's a girl dancing in the rave that happens to be topless and she's she's dancing. So she got to a convention in Australia. I don't know. She was great.

Chris recommended her. And that was the hardest person to direct in the entire show. Because they're doing this party, and it's the, the premises, everyone's without sleep for five days. So they're supposed to be kind of messed up like out of it delirious. And so she was dancing, and I kept telling it, all right, so just like dance just dance really sad like just barely move

You're totally, you know, you're delusional you're staring off and she was already doing like really big Like gyre sexy sexy dancing and so like yeah, I was like okay, you'll slow it down like we you just you know You're you're delirious you have it that translated did this like just slightly slow. It was like instead of this it was Delirious you have it that translated to this like just slightly slow. It was just like instead of this it was So it's like a slow like gyrating and she's dancing on top of a desk and there's kind of a cabinet beside her and I was like all right Hey, here's you do just lean on the cabinet and kind of like just barely move your leg It's just like the saddest dance you've ever seen. This is what that translated to this is the cabinet Reveal big big reveal This is what that translated to. This is the cabinet. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. not wearing any shirt. Right, well I couldn't, couldn't you just get up against the cabinet and like do your thing and be like do this? Yeah, I just didn't have the heart to. But then he, like did you see what he did? Look as sexy as me. If you're like here do this, you took off your shirt

and you're just like, yeah, we're new actors hate line reads. So I didn't want to line read our generations for her. So she was, yeah, that was the hardest. I think she could not dance sexy. It was like, yeah, you could not, is like you want to spray her with a water bottle, like stop it, stop being sexy in the,

yeah. I have to dare you. I thought it was great. I think it turned out well. No, it's good. It worked out. So magic of it. You edited it around her.

Yeah. So it's out on, what day is it? June 19th. It's not Sunday, Sunday at 4 p.m. So I have, I have a good story from day five with Joel because Joel's, Joel's, you know, Joel Hayman is in day five. And he shows up a little later in the series. Yeah, he's, he's like later and he's a character who's introduced like mid season.

And so we're filming the scene. It's like, well, it's like, we in, we in injury. Oh yes, oh yeah, let me hear it. Let me set this up for my side. So I'm at stage two, which is on the lot here. And I get this call and they're like, Josh, there's been, there's been an injury. Like one of the actors has gotten hurt.

I'm like, oh god, damn it. Like what happened? And this is the first time it's happened. Like we haven't gotten anyone. We've been, good. We're more than halfway through production. Good luck so far. And it's like, it's Joel. I was like, oh god. So I call Chris to find out what's happened. Because he's going to the ER. Yeah. Oh my god. I had no idea. Yeah. So here's a deal. We are filming a dialogue scene. Just dialogue. There's no action. It's people talking in a room, right? Yeah. It was like the easiest day of the entire shoot, like for me. Like, oh wow, we only

got like this many pages today. It's just people talking. It's going to be super easy scene. The scene, the context of scene is Joel's character is running and he runs into the room. Right? So he's like out of breath. So what Joel would do is before we roll the take, he would run like in place like he did before the podcast. He would run in circles and then so then whenever we're like, all right, action. He'd run in and he'd actually be out of breath. Yeah, they're just, you know, the method acting. Yeah. So we, we roll, we're shooting. And then, and then the person that he's running

in the building with, it's like, she comes in, she's like, I don't think you should cut. I'm like, what? It's like, I don't think we're going to shoot anytime soon. I'm like, what are you talking like, I don't think we're gonna shoot anytime soon. I'm like, what are you talking about? She's not telling you what's going on. She's just like, she's like shooting. Yeah, and I was like, what do you,

I thought she was joking. And then she's like, well, Joel was running around the parking lot and he slipped. Oh my God. And I was like, what do you mean he slips? He slipped in a big puddle. Hahaha. Hahaha. And so, he was like, what do you mean he slips? He slipped in a big puddle. And so he was running and I was like, he slipped in, but he's covered in mud and water.

He's like, oh shit, we're gonna have to, we're gonna have to like, dry his clothes off first. I just make it a bit and he came and wet. Yeah, well, because we'd already shot like, you can't do it. And then I was like, so he's all wet. I like this. I mean like future dialogue and then that's back. So no, so the thing I was like, all right,

well, we're gonna lose like 30 minutes while we're like drying his clothes and she was like, well, he's also covered in blood. Oh my God. Like how much the second detail. I was like, what do you mean? He had slipped in the puddle and like face planted the cement in the parking lot just in the parking lot. Oh my God.

And and was like apparently it happened and Joel fell and was so delirious because he hit his face. Got up and was like covered in mud and water and blood and was like, I'm good, let's go, let's go, like keep the camera shut. And it was kind of walk into set. And it started, like. You should have let him. No, no. And it was like, I'm good, I'm good, I know the line's. But it was like no joke.

Yeah, I know, he was like, he was totally committed and was like no jokes, like sit down and like rest. And like, you know, thankfully we had all like we we weren't shooting his coverage and stuff so it wasn't like a big deal we're shooting stuff like behind him and like the back of his head blah blah blah didn't really affect production but those things where it's like yeah Joel you know he did have to get stitches good Lord yeah yeah and it's like on his face so yeah you know, he did a paddy get stitches. Good Lord. Yeah, yeah. And it's like on his face.

So yeah, so there might be, it might be some scenes. Oh, it's so there are those stitches. I know what it was from. I thought that was makeup on day five. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no think Joel quoted it, he was like, I got into a fight with the cement. Oh, yeah. It's just like Michael punching cement. Yeah. It's just for Joel to decide to head by.

Well, Joel, of all of us at Rooster, I'd say Joel is the most professional when it comes to like being an actor. Mm-hmm. I was always amazed back in the Congress office when we would do shorts. He would always be very serious. Because Joel's a funny dude.

He's very like, joking and funny. Yeah. But when we were actually doing acting, he be very serious. Because Joel's a funny dude, he's very like joking and funny. But when we were actually doing acting, he was very serious. Like you can see if you watch the outtakes of Captain Dynamic, everyone's always like blowing their lines and laughing. And Joel just remains like serious face. It's because he plays the striker in that room.

Yeah, so he was like focusing on being annoyed and like being serious. So even when everyone else broke and everyone was clearly laughing, he wouldn't laugh. Well, that's such commitment. I couldn't do that. Yeah, that is Joel's, especially in between takes, he'd be like, sometimes I'd see him like conserving energy

or something, he'd be like, and then we'd action, he'd be like, boom, and he'd just like snap like a machine, like an acting machine. Yeah. And then just go, yeah, I don't know. That's like the opposite of the kid we had of Walker who would be like talking mile a minute in himself. And then he would snap into character the opposite way.

Did you have that onset too? He was like, he was so good. Yeah, I know he's awesome. But he was like, he's like, would be. He was, he kept trying to make me laugh. Like right before I was a character. He did it to everyone. laugh. Like right before I was okay. He did it to everyone. And then as soon as they call action, he's he jumps right into character. Yeah, because he'd be like, like, making funny jokes and like doing all this stuff. And then he'd be like,

it'd be like, actually, he'd be like, and I'd be like, do you have a question to me up there? Little buzz. Should we watch something? Should we watch a clip? Yeah, we showed a couple clips on the stream this past Sunday, but I don't know which one you want to set up. You see the titles? Titles are super cool.

The title sequence? Yeah, I'm going to see title sequence. So this is the title sequence for day five, which you'll see this Sunday. Sunday at 4 p.m. Central Standard Time. You're nice. Yeah, central standard time. The So we went laughing at the trailer, we were laughing at the, the word that came right before we came back was shaved ass. Yeah, that's what it was.

Air and shaved ass. That was awesome. Which also makes an appearance in day five. It does. You get to wait for that though. So, yeah. You got it. You need to subscribe for that.

You want to say that. That's the same free. That's worth sponsorship alone. I always love it when I get hooked on a show and we make it. It's great. Well, I can't wait to watch this. Have you seen any of day five other than like- I deliberately-

Stuff I showed you? Yeah, that's the only stuff I've seen. Wow. I'm excited for people who don't know anything about it or haven't seen any of it to watch it. Like everybody in the community, people even at the office for them to see it for the first time. Like we had a screening on Friday of last week of episode one for like a couple of people who want to watch it. Like everybody in the community, people, even at the office, for them to see it for the first time. Like we had a screening on Friday of last week of episode one

for like a couple of people who wanted to watch it. And like I was asking people who were coming and screening us, like, have you seen it yet? And they're like, no, I don't know. I haven't seen anything from it. And I was just like, almost wanting to watch them watch it. Yeah. Like myself.

Like, hey. Your date was that? Ah! Ah! Ah! She didn't show but yeah I'm super excited for it now I think the response was pretty good people seemed to like it I like the picture the promotional picture of you people first shops in the cookie that was Lauren from animation oh one of us did that yeah picture of the character I play which which is Flip, where I'm going like this. And Lauren, Crozier, she like, Photoshopped a pizza in one picture, like, pepperoni all

over my face, giant cookie, and then a baby. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Yeah, that's good. That's good. It's great. She asked me, she's like, are you cool with me tweeting this?

I was like, yeah. It's really funny. She's like, I don't want to offend you. How many episodes? Six episodes. Six, it's really funny. It's like I don't wanna offend you. How many episodes? Six episodes, six hour long episode. Doing the whole British TV style, yeah. Like it. Take from the best, now we say.

This is the thing I'm the most excited for. Camp Camp Bosphorus. Like in life. I was excited for that too. And I assume a lot of people watching now have seen it. This is just like Camp Camp Camp Camp. Camp Camp in day five or like two of the things that Richard Teeth was working on this year that I was like itching to see so bad. And you've seen two episodes of day five so far.

I have. You bitch. Yeah. I have my hookups. I know some people. I can help you out. All right. I'm going to read. I know some people. I can help you out.

All right, I'm gonna read one more thing. Okay. And then we may continue our conversation. I really shouldn't have bothered coming back because I have to just realize I fly again like midweek to go to Let's Play Live. I should have just stayed there. Oh, in LA. Yeah, that's also this week. We'll talk about that right after this. Whether you're wearing a suit or sweats, you spend almost 24 hours a day in your underwear. But instead of making a statement like Superman's tits under his everyday clothes, your underwear is probably boring. Me and D's is here to change that.

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This read. Like what is she at like a stroke or something? And I look up and then Gavin's poking her with a stick. He's poking my eyeballs and my mouth. Like the two things I need to do the sad read. I was actually going for your nose, but your eyes and mouth is so close to it. Are you talking my nose small? No.

What a weird, I don't know if those are insults or a common one. And they're close to each other. No, I just mean like from here, it's a hard target to hit. You could probably get my nose. You know what you try? Well, you get my nostril. Let me see if I can nail your nose. This is a game where someone ends up blind.

No, it's a... Or having a nosebleed. It's the first chance. It's the exact game Joel played before he fell. I'm like, don't get me in the eyes though. I'm not trying to get inside your nostril. I'm definitely afraid of things going in my nose. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I gotta stick. What ever went in your nose is a kid though. Nothing, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I just don't, I don't want things in my nose. I don't want things in my ears. Like things that, I don't want things in my ears like things that I don't want things in my ears or nose

What about your cell? Air plugs and nose. I can do that. No, no self afflicted or self-inflicted No, you can nail a nail in two. Ben afflicted You can what you put nail in your nose. What does that mean? Like you get hammered up your nose Yeah, I should just talk to about this on off topic But there's enough room. There's a gap between your nose and your mouth on the inside where you can just hammer a nail into the front of your face.

And it doesn't hit anything. Really? It's going straight in the gap. I feel like you're like, I mean, you'll have a hole in your lip, right? No, you're not in your nostril. You're not like doing it in your teeth. You're just going to go in your nose

and go straight back. And it won't go through your nose. Basically missing shots of Chris just picking his nose. There's a gap. It's like under your sinuses. Oh. Well have you ever used a nettie pot? No. Do you know what that is?

Yeah, I have to give it back to you. I have to give it back to you. I have to give it back to you. No, that's only if you don't put the, you're supposed to put like a solution in the water. And it looks like a little teapot and you put it in a nostril and you tilt your head and open your mouth and it comes out your mouth.

There's a video of Jessica. Or you're the nostril, sorry. We should link dump Jessica's video where he does the funniest. Does he have a video where he tries it? He gets it wrong or something. If you don't and Jessica, he was, I think the only person on our website

who had more followers than you. Yeah, he was top watch member. He was the most followed user on Ristief.com. At that time, it was called Watched. Right. When you watch someone, which we realize at the end sounded a little creepy. Yeah, a stalk number. I'm watching you.

But yeah, I think it was the day before I got officially announced as being part of Ristief, where I beat him in the next year. You ever took him and then because you got cost status, you got removed from this? I was like, I was there for one day! Who's the top of that list now? I don't know, I don't even think we have that list anymore. I think it was Andy for a while, but now he works here. Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, that's true.

We just keep hiring that for the top person. Everyone except Jessica. No, that's true. We just keep hiring that for the top person. Everyone except Jessica. No, it's great. I don't think I ever had more watches than you, but I had the most something. It was a reason why I was hired. I don't remember what it was.

I found your first message to me the other day. What was it? Hey. It was high with a smiley face of modicon. That's classy. That's it. Yeah. Did you respond to it? Hey, it was high with a smiley face emoticon. That's classy. That's it. Yeah. Did you respond to it? I think I did. I think I responded with like a heart or something. Oh, you loved me already. Of course. What was the context that the message was sent?

We were both 15. What's up? I was at least 16. I was 15. Yeah, you're 16. Yeah I was 88 I've been in 1988 not 88 is old Thanks for clarifying there are people now who Like 16, but they were born in the year 2000 like 16 but they were born in the year 2000. That's crazy. I had thought about that before. People born after 2000 are like in high school. Old enough to like kill you.

Make it decisional. I mean. You're not going to be killed by a five year old. Yeah, probably. You could if they held a gun. Oh yeah. Guns just change everything. But you mean like with their bare hands?

I could easily lose a fight to a 16-year-old. Yeah, probably. Oh yeah, yeah. I like to like a 10-year-old. Yeah, you watch it. Anyone pass puberty I think a good loser fight to. Not with that. Not anyone pass puberty, but like anyone,

I think it's once someone has hit puberty. Once someone has their bar mitzvah but like anyone, I think it's once someone has hit people when someone has their garments. Well, that I was once... Chris has been beaten at multiple things in years, so... I was once disabled by a four-year-old. I was wrestling my cousin who was four at the time. Was he either like, fighting or like, play wrestling? But his hands were so small.

And he somehow, you would hate it it wedged his entire finger up my nose And I swear nothing has ever been that far up my nose. I thought he touched my brain Sneezing because he like anger at all my side and then I realized I was like oh my god I'm bleeding and I was like firing out all this stuff. I realized I was like oh my god, I'm bleeding. I was like firing out with this stuff I don't realize it was strawberry jam He just like had jam on his hand He put it way up and I slept for two weeks like the top of my nose was like sticky and gross with jam And I couldn't get it out. It was so far up there. You know it'd have been good for that and any part Yeah, it would have been but I don't think it was like But is that like a nice treat too? You're like, oh, oh, jam.

I'm out in the desert. I'm like, man, I'm hungry. Wait a second. You go to the ER, like I'm bleeding for a feast. No, sorry, sir, that's just jam. Yeah. People are coming up to me with a bagel. You think anything could do with the thing where they like, push their jaw out and like

filling a booger into their mouth like that? What? Like just straight from nose to mouth. No. No, are you demonstrating? No, I'm saying is that possible? If you go, if you catch it in the jaw shelf. Yeah. If you lean back, I think so.

If you go like this. If you lean back enough, I think you should. I need this guy. He was called Malley. That's what we called him. We used to have spit wars while we were riding our bikes. Trying to like just go up on each other. I do drive bikes.

And once I like, we like, went part. It was like jousting really. And he was like, you kept missing. And I kept not spitting. Because I was building up like the biggest one I could. But I somehow, with the movement of the bike and the wind, I spat this massive lugey and it just went, oh, the wind took it right into the middle of my face.

I think I almost threw up. I was really bad at spit, Jellies. Is it like an urban legend that eating your own boogers is like good for your immune system? I'm sure that's the only thing. I think that as a kid. I think the only fight. The only fight I've been in as a person, like actual fight, was with like one like my best friends in like high school. And we had goats at my house

Yeah, we had likes this setup we had goats and we were walking around at in my backyard or something and my friend stepped in goat poop And then he why he took it. He's like, oh, I stepped in goat poop and then he wiped his foot on on me God that is not cool. Yeah, I was like, what the, and is it because it was your poop? No, it wasn't my poop, it was the goat, he was like, that's what his argument was. It was like, it was your goat's poop,

like vicariously. Yeah, yeah, and so I spit on him. Yeah. Yeah. And then, and then he got really mad at me. And then we got into a fight. Like, look at actual fight. Yeah, an actual fight fight.

He's like the most Texas fight I've ever heard. And he was like, I got shit on me. And he was like, you spit on me. And I was like, yeah, because you wiped shit on me. And he was like, well, that's not as bad. And I was like, yeah, it's worse, it's shit. It's like spit. I was like, yeah, that's not as bad. And I was like, yeah, it's worse, it's shit. It's like spit.

I was like, yeah, but it came from your mouth. I actually see this point because animal poop is never as bad as anything a human produces. We talking about spit. And spit, such a hateful move. Like if you, I've never spat on anyone like in anger, it's been spit on. But you know when you see like two people

and they're like, yelling at each other, and one of them just goes like, like gobs on the other one's face. It's almost worse than being punched. It's so hateful. I didn't spit in his face. I spit on his like chest. What is he saying?

He's a gentleman. So weird. So weird. I ain't going his face on his chest. I mean, what's he wearing a shirt? I think I assume so. I'm just imagining two like farm boys out But yeah, it's like to me. I was like I'd rather get spit on me than poop

But him was like human spit Then then then goat poop. Yeah, just he's gross. Yeah, but he like wiped, but he wiped it up and down my leg. And he was just like, oh, I sit up and goat shit. I'm like, what? Like, there was no reason for other than the fact that he was at my house. You know, it's like, yeah, it's a dick move. Yeah, it was a dick move, and so I was like, and it was a visceral response, where I was like, you just wiped shit on me.

You know, like, I do see what you're saying now. The spit is a very much like fuck you. Yeah. Kind of move. Yeah, it's just, I mean, I mean, plan day. So did you actually punch each other and stuff? It was just like a little scrap. Yeah, it was a fun.

And then at some point, shirtless. Yeah. Why do you want us to be shirtless part, but you keep the story better. Sure, we were sure. Sure. Why not? Do you want us to be sure this part but you keep story better sure we were sure sure Why not you want you love fun porn. I mean here's the deal is honestly very well It was in the summer and we had like a pond that we would swim in and Swimming upon all the time with a rope swing Texan person. Yeah, yeah, you seem so normal all the time we had a rope swing. Texan person right now.

Yeah. You seem so normal. You have goats and you had pond swimming? Pondsy in my mind, a pond is just like riddled with, I'm sure it's full. I'm sure it will. Because it's like, there's no running water or anything. No, just stagnant of fies.

So that was what we did all summer. It was we'd like, go outside, swim in the pond. We had a rope swing, and then we go inside and play, it was fun. Play video games, you know. Sounds like a fun childhood. It was good. It was good My name is you know the fights the one fight Actually, you know, that's that's not true. There's one other fight one other fight that we had the same person

I Had a bunch of friends spinning the night like you know sleep over type thing where like 15 or something and At some point I'm, it was late. I go to sleep on the floor. I'm sleeping, and two of my friends were like wrestling, like fighting each other, you know, like, as one, like, whatever. Are they wrestling or are they fighting?

Whatever, on the bed. All I know, sounds sexual. It was it was just like guy it's just like dudes fighting each other you know like anyway so I'm laying on the bed and all of a sudden one of them like falls on my balls and I'm sleeping so I'm sleeping all I know is I act I've never been more like primal. Where all of a sudden someone is attacking my testicles and I like, I went berserk where I just like, flipped over and I just started punching him in the face like really tough. In the face. I was just like, bam, like just like, mama bear.

I went like, I couldn't even tell, it was like one of those things where I was sleeping. All of a sudden someone was on my balls and the next look I was punching them in the face. You were still like feral between us. Yeah, it was like one of those like this. I've never ever experienced that thing where you're just like bang. We like three punches in and you like oh god.

Yeah, exactly. I was like after like three or four punches, it was just like and then he was like it like three or four punches, it was just like, oh, and then he was like, oh, it's like, you know, because I just wailed on his face. He's like spit on his chest. No, it was one of those things where it's, and then he was like, why'd you punch me in the face?

Like you jumped on my balls. It's like, we didn't intentionally jump on your balls. It wasn't like, let's jump on Chris's balls. It was, you know, he got knocked off the bed. So wait, you were lying on your back? I was just, I was just like sleeping on the floor. We'll show you that on Chris's balls. It was, you know, he got knocked off the bed. So wait, you were lying on your back? I was just, I was just like sleeping on the floor. We'll show you that on your dick then. Well both, yeah, yeah, yeah, but like the balls

are what hurt the most, you know, like, it was like, you know, like, it was, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like,

it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was a whole thing, but like the ball, I don't know, getting hit in the dick hurts, but balls, like that's, that like, here, here's your stomach, you know, like we're stomach starts hurting. I've been, I've been, I'm in soccer, I got hit in the balls a couple times.

And like, yeah, I vomited like as a kid, it's like, it's a, it's a visceral response. Yeah, it's such like a, a deep, thick pain. Yeah, it's like, you can't, it's not on the surface anymore, it's just like a deep thick pain. Yeah, it's like you can't, it's not on the surface anymore. It's just like, it's like, in my core. Yeah.

It's a very odd experience. Do you remember when we played Dodgeball versus FUN House? Oh, and you got hit in the vagina? Bruce Green, like, through the ball harder than I've ever seen anyone throw a dodgeball and it went straight into my clip. Did it like push in the video? Yeah. Did it push air up you?

No, but I did like question my reproductive skills after that moment. Well all your stuff's internal. All the stuff you need. You don't need a clip to have a kid. But it would be nice to still have it. I'd have a non-smushed down version of a clip. Your clip is on the inside now. I don't know if we could even find that clip, but it's in the... Oh, that was it. Was that it? No, not yet. I think it's right here. I'm not sure. we're trying to find the clip right now Of me get oh no inside it

What was this video about oh Right wind about we need another replay of that and then you could see him go oh my room so sorry I Felt that I felt that first he gets blamed. Do you blame the balls? His ammo it looks like from that video What was the point of this video? I think we had fun house in town and we're like we should film something with them and someone it's just a dodge bomb I know who why not it was probably Brandon a bunch of milky iPhones There's like go pros and stuff set up it's actually pretty like a elaborate. And a bunch of Milky iPhones. There was like GoPros and stuff set up.

It's actually pretty like elaborate for just a game of dodgeball. It was also in a room that was maybe like three feet by four feet. GoPros are looking good these days. Like a new GoPros? What's not new? The four, the latest one?

Look solid. Yeah. Like the early GoPros was a bunch of mushy, washed out mess. Did you know that, do we talk about the story where, on the immersion, the jet pack immersion, where we had the go, we had a go pros on the jet pack, right? We had

a go pro, the face cam, the camera, I think we might have talked about it. Did we? I mean, anyway, go for it. So we had a camera on the face of, of the jet pack, right? The end of the day, I like crashing to the water. It's like the very, very end, like the last, like whatever sequence. The crashing of the water, and I come back and the GoPro's gone. It's just missing.

And it's like a lake, like a really, really, like, it's a lake. And we put floaties on it, so it would float. Surface didn't float. Oh, yeah. And it's like, this is the face footage of the entire day. And we're like, what are we gonna, like this is this blue the entire shoot.

We're gonna have to like go and recreate everything and like go back up and redo everything. And so we, I was like not how the FaceCam, which would like you'd be missing such a big one. That's what I'd say we'd have to redo everything. And then we switched cars midway through the day. I don't know, I don't know.

That's, I was not DIT. Anyway, so then we had like search the lake, like me and Blaine and then like our DP, Jason and one other person, Patrick got in wet suits and just like with like locked arms and search the lake. Like it's searching for a corpse in the lake. Exactly, exactly. You were like combing the lake. We arms and search the lake. Like it's searching for a corpse. Exactly. You were like combing the lake. We were combing the lake.

Looking for it. We ain't found shit. No. We found the camera. Space balls. We found the camera and it was still rolling. Oh my God. And there's footage of us freaking out like finding it.

Yeah. Have we ever put that up? I don't know. We shouldn't. I don't know why we didn't. It's great footage because you see your face when you find it and you're all just like, oh yeah!

You stepped on it. Sorry. Yeah, it would happen, because we would put floaties on the camera so they would flip the surface, but because it broke off with all the arms and the casing and blah, blah, blah. It was weighted out, it was floating a foot above the surface.

No, no, a foot above the ground. So it was like, right. Anchor deep, right? And we find it. It's like, I don't, because we released a behind the scenes for that video, but it wasn't in. I was like,

you know, we never put out, either as you and I going up. Oh, yeah. I didn't put that out. I don't know if I'd want mine. How was that for you? So that immersion, Josh and I got to try.

We didn't try the Jetpack water thing, but we tried like this skateboard. No, it was like, I am. It looked like a skateboard with two water jets that came at the bottom of it. That sounds cool. Or, I brought a snowboard, because I had the boots like attached to it.

Well, I guess if you tilt forward too much, you're being propelled downwards. Josh did it, and he was actually really good at it. And he was like doing all these funny movements and stuff and I was like, oh, like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like,

he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like,

he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like,

he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, Yeah, you get started like going like that as soon as you can't your feet. Yeah, because what you have to do is You're like in the water on your stomach and you need to like straighten your back up so that you lift and just go straight up That'd be great for your cool. They say like don't bend your knees or anything either So your knees are like locked, which is like terrifying for me. Yeah, like my leg gonna snap backwards But I watch you do it and you're really awesome. And they're like, do you wanna try?

And I was like, yeah, sure, it looks pretty easy. I usually have pretty good balance. I didn't realize that the boots attached to it are big and I have like little bitty midget feet. Like minor like size six and a half for seven and I'm five foot nine, so my balance is terrible. You're just still on little rods. And the boots are made out of this hard plastic,

so they could only tighten so much. So my feet were just wobbling around in these boots, not able to get a grip on anything or be secure. And I was just flailing around in there and hitting the water onto my stomach and getting winded. And I came back and I was shaking, it was cold too. It was watching when there was out of control missiles or it was just like, yeah, one of the fins broke off and I was like shaking. It was cold too. It was like watching when there was like out of control missiles or like it was just like

yeah one of the fins broke off. It was good enough. And you guys were like 300 feet away too. So we were like man barbers really like flopping around. Yeah. This is a really good comedy bit. Meanwhile I was like. So that's much of this.

Oh yeah. And there's footage of us doing commentary on it too, like, oh man, look at powerful. Well there's what, like a couple times I did get up and I was standing up and then like I would wiggle a little bit and just like flop onto my stomach. I don't think I like to watch that. I just can't watch girls get hurt.

You can't tell I'm getting hurt. Yeah, but you should have that. Like watching Lindsay bash her face in on that immersion. Like we didn't realize it was bad at the time so Michael and I are doing commentary and we're just like oh Yeah, but watching your back is like That's the thing. It's like no everyone at time thought it was like red paint Yeah, because there was paint in the balloons. Yeah Yeah, we have the most leisurely medics in the world

There's like yeah, we tell the story about that? No, all I got to tell that was. Yeah. Yeah, that was hard to watch. Yeah, I was gonna do slow-mo on that jetpack shoot, but then I had to leave the set because that was when Meg collapsed at home and I had to call an ambulance and go to the hospital and stuff.

Yeah, they were actually gonna have me come and be the other scientist. Yeah, I was originally gonna be a scientist at the moment. Yeah, they called me like probably an hour before I was supposed to be there and stuff. Yeah, they were actually gonna have me come in and be the other scientist. Yeah, I was originally gonna be a scientist, the one. Yeah, they called me, like probably an hour before I was supposed to be there, and they're like, can you come in now? And I was like, why what's up?

And they're like, get them to leave so we need another scientist. Yeah, I think we were just like getting the call and I was just like dumbed my lab coat and like ripped my mic off and I just bolted out. Yeah. I think we did it, doing it just, we, Bernie did all the lines.

Yeah, I didn't work that well. Yeah, it totally worked out fine, but initially there were two scientists talking and then just became Bernie. The motion's always fun because I typically, even if I'm a lab rat or a scientist, I'll still operate the phantom when I'm not on the camera, so I'm usually just filming my kudu stuff.

But it means I'm operating the phantom in the most ridiculous outfits. Like, I've done it as Luigi and... Okay. I remember I took a picture of you in your Luigi costume. Yeah. I've done it as Luigi and look at... I remember I took a picture of you in your Luigi costume. Yeah. And you got me in trouble. Why?

Because they were ready to roll and you're like, get a picture of me with the phantom. I was like on set taking a picture of you and they're like, Barbara fucking move! We're rolling! I was like, God damn it. She really affected you. We just filmed an immersion.

We did. Yeah. And it filmed an immersion. We did. And it might be filming another one soon. Yeah. Which we'll probably have in for a while. What one of you talk about without saying it? Think, well, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what I can say, but I think there was fire.

Yeah. I mean, that's pretty generic. I may have done some slow-mo. Yeah. Well, we're about time. So. Yeah, we are. Well, I thank everybody for tuning in to this event.

Are the parents going to be back next week? Parents should be back next week, I believe. What do you mean? Mom and dad. Gus and Bernie. Oh, I'm not our mom and dad. I thought you were talking about who's parent, like what? The podcast parents.

I mean, we could just replace them with your parents. That would not be good. Get a bit of Larry up in here. Larry and Marion. Yeah. Some Larian. I'd like it. I would love to see you podcast with you and my parents. That would be a really funny. It would be so uncomfortable. Trust everyone involved. I wouldn't not for me. Okay. It would be a comfortable for you and your parents. We should do that at RTX. We're going to have a podcast panel.

We should we're going to do do that Gavin or gaggle. Oh, Christ. I'm gonna throw up RTX, I guess. If you haven't already, get your tickets at RTXEvent.com. 17 days away from now. And it's gonna be cool. In the last days from now. From the cast of day five there too.

You can. You can. You mean everyone? Cast of day five, also crunch time as well. Yeah, four days from now, you can go to Let's Play Live in L.A. And I think tickets are still available for that as well. Yeah four days from now you can go to Let's Play Live in L.A. I think tickets are still available for that as well. Yes. at roostertethlive.com. But not many so get involved. I wish I was going. Why don't you go? I get work to do. I wish it was an

you know I want to go. I'm sure the people on the other way are going to go. Yeah yeah and it was fun. I just want to go back. I want to go to the next one. I'm sure the people on the other one. Yeah, yeah, and it was fun. I was like, I want to go back. I want to go to the next one. Anyway, that's all I have. Well, that happened. Sorry.

Thanks for watching everyone. Remember we have a post show. I forgot we were still rolling out. I was just like talking to Garin's like completely off there. I was like, yeah, I want to go. I'm going to show his cast. So we all said that. What?

We're still. We recorded a post show after every podcast for sponsors. So it's not a sponsorship, and you'll be able to see those. But it's not live. Not live, but you'll be able to see it on Wednesday. So thanks for watching everybody. Love you. Love you. But I hope you'll like it But my hope to find that you've used it since Was it pleased to laugh decent? Maybe some science was right Most likely it wasn't

Sorry Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, b unsolved and rooster teeth's cryptic podcast. F**k face. Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise specific, but short. Listen to show name on Apple Spotify or wherever you get podcasts. It's f**k face, a podcast. Subscribe or no. You do yes?

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