Rooster Teeth Podcast - BANNED for Being Nice?! - #551

Episode Date: July 2, 2019

Join Gus Sorola, Gavin Free, Jon Risinger, and Burnie Burns as they discuss getting banned on Xbox Live, plane stories, parking garages, and more on this week's RT Podcast! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What would you do if you had the freedom to be anyone or to go anywhere without limitations? Start your journey and experience for yourself the feeling of total freedom when you game with Alienware. Alienware is your portal to new worlds where limits don't exist and the only rules are the ones you decide to make. Defy boundaries and start gaming now at Alienware.com. Next-gen gaming is built with Intel Core i9 processors. You're listening to Rooster Teeth Podcasts, number 551. If you hear something you would like to see from this episode, visit first.RoosterTeeth.com. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪

Hello everyone, welcome to Rooster Teeth Podcasts, this week brought to you by Goat and Stubur. I'm Gus. I'm Gavin. I'm John. I'm Bernie. Welcome back John. Thank you for having me, guys. He jumped in there just to talk and I'm Gus. It's a little sarcastic. What do you mean he jumped in there? He was a little dear in the headlights. No, I thought it was, I... You know something that's a forget production amount. I'm not gonna be that douchey. No, I thought I was, I was an always open melody and they cut to each person as you say your name. And so I was like, I was driving in the middle. I was freaking out looking for like where my camera was

and then my camera didn't change. So then I just, let me say my name. You're number six. That's me right there. Hi. All right, which production are we on now? Sunday driving. All right. Man, I read a harsh we on now? Sunday driving.

Man, I read a harsh critique of the latest Sunday driving with Kumail Nungiani. That was critique? It was. It was skating, I would say. Okay, yeah. Yeah, that's here. Which new source did this come from? I believe this was a Reddit comment. No.

This is a skating comment was. So go either way. And like, it's always fun to be with. You go to read about a video that's how long? No, this gaiting comment was. Took away the way. And it's always fun to be with. You go to read about a video that's how long? An hour? No. The Sunday driving, it's like 30 minutes.

Oh yeah, if that was way off. We didn't have it for very long. So it's a big long video and there's a discussion about it. Most places when you read about people are leaving comment on the video, it's about the video. I find lately on Reddit, if there's a lengthy discussion about something, it's about the thumbnail or some very specific thing, like how it was delivered.

And then this one was, this gave the comment was, Sunday driving, this came out on the site on Saturday and I came out on YouTube on Monday. I was like, ooh, that's what. Someone's canceled, get on this. I hope someone gets fired over this. Ketzel, what a fucking disaster. I think that's what. Someone's, someone's, someone's, someone's, someone's to get on that. I hope someone gets fired over this. Katsl, what a fucking disaster. I think that's actually pretty, but, I think,

I think, I think, I think, I think, I think that, it's really on the viewer. You put the video out on Monday, it's on them to wait until Sunday. Or Gus, you're only allowed to watch on Sunday. If you average them, you get Sunday. Saturday, that's the last Monday, divided by two, is Sunday. I like your hand motion of average. That's it. You get all these, Saturday, plus Monday, divided by two is Sunday. I like your hand motion of average.

That's it. You get all these numbers and you go, it was a fake, like a joke complaint. I don't. I don't. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You say funny enough or funnily enough. Funny enough. Funnily. Funny enough.

I heard someone say funnily enough. That's funny. That's like taking a funnel. Right. Funnily enough. Funnily enough. But if I say without context, if I said funnily enough, you would say you just had a stroke.

You really? Monosololibic. Monosololibic. There he is. Too many syllables. That's a lullabic. No, it's not. It is. is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is There is You said oh man, but Lisp. Yeah, Lisp is the other way. I don't like that. I don't like when people make up abbreviations. I don't like that. That's official abbreviation for abbreviation, isn't it?

Why don't you like it when people abbreviate stuff? I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I also don't like when people immediately start abbreviating things that they like, but that aren't, in my opinion, popular enough to have an abbreviation.

Oh, so people need to go to you for approvals and abbreviations. No, I'm just saying there's gotta be a way to get. If you'd like to get an abbreviation. So people need to go through you for approvals and abbreviations. I'm just saying, there's gotta be a, if you'd like to get your abbreviation approved, just go at Bernie, let him know what you'd like to abbreviate. A abbreviation has official abbreviations. That was one of them. A-B-B-R?

A-B-B-R-E-R-V-R-E-V. This is way too long. Who authorized that? It's gotta be like a committee somewhere that clears these things. Even stuff that I like, we've got to be like a committee somewhere that clears these things. Even stuff that I like, like when people say, oh, I really liked in A and H when this happened. I'm like, A and H, what the fuck's A and H?

And then from context, I'm like, oh, it's a new hope. It's just like, this is like, people use abbreviations like, that's more of an acronym. That is an acronym, you're right, that's an acronym. But they're abbreviating the way they're saying a new hope. Sometimes, it's speaking about that. It is an acronym. I just heard a great acronym that I like.

I'm playing through Dark Souls III for the first time. Let him have his little giggle. Is an acronym? Is an acronym an abbreviation? Yeah, it is. It is. It's a special kind of abbreviation. It's really abbreviated.

It's down to just the letters. Well, that's what abbreviated. That is also, and I realize I said that. I'm aware of the things I say. We're on RT podcast, just so you know. You know what my response to that shitty criticism, Ellen Reddit? It was Sunday in Australia. There you go.

So we made that for the Australian viewers. There you go. There you go. And then you drove on the wrong side of the road. So we got the viewers as well. What's the war you're doing in Dark Souls 3? Oh, no. So I'm playing Dark Souls 3 for the first time.

And with those kind of games, I get really obsessed with making sure that I'm leveling the right way and getting the right weapons that are a good build for whatever character I am. I kind of get overwhelmed with that stuff, which is great when you're playing an older game. There's a lot of information out there for you to find a lot of wikis that have already like compiled all this information.

And so I'm playing as a cleric and I wanted to know what's a good early game cleric weapon to stay with. And so there's this sword that is the Astora short sword and then there's a way that you infuse the weapons that you put in some sort of gem. And there's one that's called raw. But on the wikis, the way they shorten it is it's a raw ass. That's it. A raw ass is a really good first early weapon for clerics. Get a raw ass.

What is that short for? It's a store of short sword. Okay, that's short. So, but it's raw infused. So a short sword, ASS. Yeah. A good old raw ass. A good, good weapon. Who was it?

Bungie got in trouble, right? Was it the P.D. release of Halo 2? Halo 2. Halo 2. Halo 2 had some files with the extension.asss. And as it wasn't really available, I think you had to go in and edit the registry or look at one of the files.

It had like a very small thumbnail of one of the developers showing his ass. Moaning that was the error image that it would give you. You got an ASS error and he thought it'd be funny. Internally, he put his picture of his butt in there and it was in the code that they released in the retail version so they had to go and update the ESRB rating for the game and I believe Halo 2 was already mature, but they had to update it with now to include nudity. Come on, just take it out.

Well, they couldn't do anything, because it was easier. But stickers on everything. Or, since you've already got the rating, you double down and just throw a lot more nudity into it. What do you hate with Halo 2? Pat it with like every all this nudity in it. Every all this nudity has to stick out.

You got the rating, you might as well just lean into it and really get people like smoking over the same. That guy must have been fired for that, right? I'll see. Hey, one more thing his name was, I didn't know this guy personally. I don't even if he still works at 343 or at Bungie when they moved away from Microsoft.

I wanna say his name is either Mikey or Mickey. I'm trying to look it up. Okay, and it was his butt. Hey, speaking of Dark Souls, why do all Japanese games use the same font? Pardon? If I see, if I look and you show me the end screen, like you died or whatever, maybe not you died,

that's specific to Dark Souls. But like even going back to like Street Fighter 2, like you know, mission complete, you know when you like, or stage complete, when you bash the car and stuff, it's the same like, serif font I feel like. Like I can identify if a game came from Japan, it's simply by the font.

Easy, it's a read for Japanese people. I don't know. I don't know. What font does Japanese test use? Well, we have super common fonts ourselves that are like used, like, why does Americans can't use in hell Vatican all over the place?

Maybe that's a better way to say that. Why does impact everywhere? Why do we use a different font than Japanese companies? Why does the Western world seems weird to say that when Japan is to our West? But why is the Western world use a different style of font than Eastern? Why do you never see Japanese symbols in comic sense?

Maybe you do. Charlie. Maybe you do. Maybe Charlie? Charlie. I'm always failing. Gus, it you do. Charlie? Charlie. I'm always failing. Gus, it's over. Charlie, go or down. Any moon in the camera and that was the default.

It's the default. Chucky. That was what it was. Not making chucky. That's what it is. I'm what happened to him. I don't think he got fired. I think everybody's like, oh, that sucks.

Shit happens. What are you going to do? Ask happened. Send out the stickers. It's some guy at GameStop. He's got to put all the stickers on all the copies of Halo 2. They had another problem.

Bungie also had another problem. What was it with myth 2? Was Halo 2? Did we get it right? What's Halo 2? Which was exclusive to Vista. That's our problem with myth 2 where they had to update all of the games that have to pull it off the shelves

because the uninstaller was broken and would delete everything on your hard drive. Right. What? Is that if you trade the default installation location of that game and you installed it to the root directory of your C drive and then you Uninstall it the uninstaller was fucked up and would delete everything on the C drive instead of just that folder That's not good. Yeah, they had to pull it off the shells Update it and then put a sticker on it that said like now updated to version 1.01 and then put it back out on the shelves.

Like because that that was before Internet updating. That's like that's like when you're watching those like spy movies and they put something into the computer that wipes the drive But they need to eat on information off. That's all you got. You just got a nice little drive wipe or they're ready for it. Except it always has a skull and crosspunts at least behind. That's it. And sometimes people know that although I would probably do that, honestly, because I have so much fun playing video games with Andrew Pitten, and I have probably not played video games with him in like five or six years.

Like going back. He got banned because of me. He got banned because of you. From what? From what? From what? From what? From what?

From what? From what? From. What is it you to him? Nothing. I influenced him in a very negative way. A ban for being nice. He was what? So that if for those of you who don't watch a team in our and your partner is a regular contributor to achievement hunter.

He's a fellow. It's so creative. If you only ever watched RISD podcast years ago, he's the kid that I would play Saints Row multiplayer and we got jumped in. We'll take your lumps. Like we started playing Saints Row multiplayer probably 12 months after Saints Row was out. We were joining that community very late.

There was like one or two matches taking place. And as soon as we would join, all the other people in our gang, which is our team, would just immediately kill us and then start the match. And they, okay, that was weird. But they did like three or four times, we complained at them and said, hey, can we just play the game like, no, no, take your lumps.

It was like, we were getting jumped in to the Saints Row community. And we did a whole RTA about that, Andrew Pan. Lately, we've been playing CFT because he got back into it because of the anniversary. I'm not getting good at it. I'm not getting good at it. Just about saying. He jumped forward to see me. I it because of the anniversary. He jumped forward to CFT. He jumped forward to CFT. No, because he just got banned. He literally, like,

this last week he got banned. And it's apparently it's my fault. So he's been playing. And there's this thing called on the Xbox app and in the Xbox console. There's a really great feature called looking for group. If you want to play stuff like Apex or Sea of Thieves, stuff where you're way better off having a group and it's not a group of fucking randoms that are just like booting up the game for the first time. I'm not trying to gatekeeper, but those people really suck. You can go to the scene called Looking for Group

and say exactly what you wanna do, which is important for Sea of Thieves, like, hey, I'm going to do this. So you don't get a crew, like four people on a boat, I'll try to do something different. Overwatch has that, and there's two now. Do they really? It's a great feature.

What people have started using it for in see if thieves is, hey, I'm logging off. I've got a ship. You guys have played see if these right, you gather resources like cannibals and planks and it's just handing off ships. So you just basically, hey, I'm logging off. I got a two person's loop.

It's got 80 cannibals on it. 100 plus planks, a bunch of off. I got a two person's swoop. It's got 80 cannonballs on it, 100 plus planks, a bunch of bait, anybody wanted. You join their party, the other person logs off, and that ship just keeps going. It's cool. Yeah, it's a cool way to do it. So I did that, and I guess when I made a looking for group post, because Andrew's not my friend's list,

it popped up, and his alerts, and he said, oh, I'll play with you. I said, actually, no, I'm logging off. You can have my ship. He goes, oh, that's really cool. I'll do that. I go, I'd love to play with you, though, Pantin, because I haven't talked to you in a while.

We should definitely play together. He goes, great. He goes off and plays that I end up playing with him this weekend and we had a great time, but he told me he got banned because he did the same thing. He said, later on, he tried to give away, I think the same boat and he said, I've got a two person slupe,

it's got this on it, who wants it come get it? And Xbox immediately said, can't post this, it's offensive. Yeah, apparently his message was, giving away a slupe loaded with supplies and active Athena Quest, who wants it? Why was that offensive? He was told his post contained offensive words and to edit it.

He tried again, having no clue what was offensive. So he removed the word Slope because it rhymed with That's right. I would do that that's a lot of loop. We put two person vote was still offensive he removed who wants it Thinking that maybe it's aggressive and then he he wrote, he removed a theme, I wrote pirate legends. But he was like basically transpired the whole message. Still was seen offensive,

and then he was automatically banned for like trying to be offensive to himself. 24 hours. Yeah, Ben. Do you ever figure out what was the offensive word? Never figured it out. Apparently he was then trial that he could go to. He was then given two options.

One was case review, where they're like, look at it again, and the other one was admit that you've made the statement, and you get a suspension reduction. A plea bargain. Case review was grayed out. It's just like, it doesn't have the option. So he basically said to be like,

sorry. Sorry, I can't wait, but he doesn't even know what he did. He doesn't know what he did. He was, he was a, he's also just like, he just seemed really confused by it. I'm so, yeah, I'm confused by it. Yeah, some other thing happened to somebody else. Greg Miller got banned from E3 next year by the ESA.

He got that overturned. Diddy, actually, now I wanted to go to E3 in support of the ESA. Greg was gonna get banned. I felt like they were trying, they're actually for once getting rid of the Riff R go to E3 in support of the USA. Greg was gonna get bad. I felt like they were trying it. They're actually for once getting rid of the Riffer F of E3. That Greg Miller, get rid of that fucker. I didn't realize they banned anyone from, I mean, I didn't realize that they have

like any type of enforcement for that kind of stuff there. Hey, God. I think Greg should sue and say, why are you letting someone impersonate me on your show floor? Don't you have better security than this? Did he fear what it was? No, I don't think he'd think somebody just faked his badge

because he, and I didn't keep up with this, but from what I saw, he even had the last video to air during E3. It's like video proof that he couldn't give it to the bathroom. I told the very end of the convention, it was proof that he had a badge because he's on the show floor. And it was like literally like he's doing

a professional video stream. I'm not sure if it was an official E3 stream, but it probably was something at least close to that. And he was the last person to appear essentially on screen for E3. And then he could span. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure if the next day I went 500 Greg Miller's register and show up. What do you think is the chance that Greg Miller will just let that go? That's good. He's already got his whole next E3 plan, I'm sure. That's right, they handed him a golden ticket with this. Can we hire Greg Miller impersonators?

We totally can. And Mud E3 with a bunch of people who look like Greg Miller? He's a very generic white boy. It can't be that hard. I'll tear you. See, the thing I'm concerned about Gus is that and then we would have to meet a lot of people who act like Greg Miller. I's a very generic white boy. It can't be that hard. I'll tear you. See, the thing I'm concerned about, Gus, is that we would have to meet a lot of people who act like Greg Miller.

I don't know if you can take care of this world. Oh my. Eric, can we show the glimpse of the people that I've found and read it? Yeah. That's somebody posted. The title of this was, these guys know how to have fun.

And I just, I've watched this probably like 10 or 15 times since I saw it and read it. Oh. All you guys from the beginning, guys from the beginning, because it pans over to these guys. All right. And I just I've watched this probably like 10 or 15 times since since I saw it and read it All right guys from the beginning guys from the beginning because it pans over to these guys Here we go like I said party with hot people in their home infinity pool They like they're making noises I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you.

I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you.

I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you.

I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight you. awards them. So good. I love just pure enjoyment things in the internet. User, uh, can you pronounce this? F-Z-O-H-7. Fuzzoh-7. Oh, yeah. That's not an insult. Fuzzoh-6, though. That guy's a jerk.

Yeah. Make sure you get it right. Fuzzoh-1 through 5 were taken. Fuzzoh-F-Z-O-H-S-E. You got it. Did you hear about that woman who got locked on a plane, an air-candidate of plane? What?

We shouldn't get off. I guess it was a late night flight, the plane landed, and she dozed off while they were landing. Been there. And she woke up to a dark plane that was empty. Nightmare, nightmare. Oh, dude, I'd love that.

That'd be a fucking joke. Fuck that. No, you would have crashed. She was dead. I was playing tough. She woke up, she got her phone out to call someone, started a FaceTime conversation with someone, then her phone immediately died.

And then since the plane was off, there was no power. She said she kept trying to plug her phone in, but nothing would power it. She had to break into the cockpit to find a flashlight. She broke into the cockpit. That's her words. Broke into the cockpit. This, a movie. Got a flashlight. to find a flashlight. She broke into the cockpit. That's her words. Broke into the cockpit.

This, a movie. Got a flashlight. Make this a movie. So you got to open the door. Open the door, but then, you know, the play doors up in the ears. Who knows how high it is. They're confused, you just use the emergency exit

and slide down. Well, that's any doors in emergency exit. I think it has to be armed though. True. Oh yeah, it does. Actually, no, this is. She stood there with a flashlight waving, like trying to get someone's attention to like a baggage handler and a cart was driving by and noticed her. So I guess like the airline is it was Air Canada. They're still reviewing it.

They said there's procedures to make sure that it doesn't happen, but it happened to her. She's going to get flights forever. They should give her that plane. She got that plane. When she fell asleep on a plane? What's the harm? Honestly, what if you couldn't get out? You just said locked in a plane. What if you couldn't get out? She got out. She's fine. What should she consume and get a plane? She fell asleep on a plane. She won't go about a plane. How dare? Get out of the plane. It's a funny story. Tell your friends you can sue over that. Come on. No, you don't get to see. Just can't tell. I don't mean sue.

But like, get something. I would like to go to Canadian claim score, though. They're like, rule for the plaintiff and the defendant just goes, sorry. Yeah. And the plaintiff goes, you should be. No, the plaintiff turns back, goes, no, I'm sorry, too. And it's just, back and forth of Sories. But really, I mean, what do we think is going to happen?

Well, it could have been dangerous It could have been but it wasn't everything could be dangerous like what if that was no eh Like if there's a 18 wheeler going down the road it goes for a maintenance and finds oh your fucking breaks were shot on this 18 Wheeler does everybody on the road get to sue the 18 Wheeler that didn't cause an accident because it could have been dangerous Does it let oxygen into the plane when it's off? I doubt the planes they're tight, dude. Well, I don't know. Maybe he's asking, is it not, it's still leaks.

No. So, what is it mean when they pressure? How do they keep you're at when you're at pressure, it can push it from the inside. That's exactly when you're on the ground. When it's active, there's there are systems that do pressure. Also, they don't have big oxygen tanks feeding everybody the entire time they're up there.

Yeah, you just pull down one of the masks and you're fine. I was on the airplane, the half of the plane will be air tanks. Did you notice that when we were on that really small plane recently, they said, if the cabin depressurizes, oxygen masks will be handed out. You'll get one. Yeah, it's like, we'll give you one. I was like, what? You take what you'll do to basket. You take one and you pass it on. Have a fight with it.

All right, 50 less people. I thought that would be a very smooth procedure to handle smithy out. It was really small. There would be no one fighting for oxygen tanks. It would not. Like crashed yesterday. What? Did you see that? In the Dallas area? Yeah, yeah. I did see that. All right. There's another thing that happened. Anyway, I'll talk to you about it off.

We can talk about it yet. We can talk about it hopefully very soon. Maybe next podcast. Yeah. Oh, I know. Yeah. You mean the RTX this weekend? What's that?

At RTX this weekend? At RTX this weekend. Yeah. So what's the story with RTX for the podcast? Are we gonna record and release this podcast? Roll, roll, roll, we, what can I talk? I just had a stroke. So podcast from RTX next month. I like Erick's Venturelequist gig there. Yes. Thank you, Erick, for you, you have the, you stepped in. Dude, if I woke up on an empty plane, my big concern would not be getting off of the plane, because I know it was gonna happen. No, I know exactly what you're gonna say, and it's what I would do as well. Once I got past the horrors of it, I would be like, homeloning the plane.

I would do all the shit on the plane missions I'm clicking every fucking switch I saw I'd be making P.A. and Alpsman Oh, I'd have a fucking blast You have to figure out how to turn the plane on I just found out I like the idea of the baggage people walking by the plane and the flaps like Err It'd be so good

I'd be doing laps No, you never get to run up and down a plane Like exactly Be so good Exactly Well, you can do it, it's just really frowned upon Yeah, you never get to run up and down a plane. Exactly. You're so good. Exactly. Well, you can do it. It's just really frowned upon.

Yeah, you can do it. What? Well, that's the game. How many laps can you do before you never fly again? From what I know. I know landing on limited bringles. I'm saying, bringles? Yeah, they sell the bringles on the plane.

They sell them. Three bucks. Oh, okay. Three bucks for these. Yeah, three bucks. Yeah. How much is that? Do you see the giant bringles? No, I'm so expensive. Two expensive. Do you see the giant bringles, kids? three bucks. Oh, okay. A little cash. Three bucks for these. Yeah, three bucks. How much is that? Do you see the giant pringles?

No, I said it too expensive. Do you see the giant Pringles cans? They're not giant pringles. It's a bunch of this is real. I said giant Pringles cans. No, no, no. It's a little Pringles. It's a whole little.

We got a problem with Tablerone. So what? Monosalolovic. Monosalolo Moosalolo I'm gonna press a toddler on its leg I Had a landing in Paris Last week. Wow that was violent It we hit the ground so hard and usually pilots kind of don't really tell you anything when it's that you know

So when everything's going well right the guy like pulled up to the gate and he was like Oh, sorry about that landing landing son was in my eyes I was like no I see my soul ought to meet it and he's fine he's just like he was like oh yeah it's really bright and I we just slammed the ground you think you didn't know the ground was already there I don't know but air like the woman next to me screamed everyone everyone was going nuts it was like what you do? Wait, she screamed during the landing and the amount went on impact.

Oh, you're really crazy. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? And then she was so horrified. She screamed. Yeah, it was top three most hard landings I've ever had. What, there's a whole type of sunglasses that's named after aviation.

Why don't they have those in the fucking carpet? Why are you having everyone land into the sun? That can't be good for any play. It's all based on the wind. You're right. And so you have to land at the sun because that's where the wind comes from. It comes from the heat from the sun.

We all know that truth. How do we win? How does it work? It comes across space and then lands on earth and the wind takes off. That's where win comes from. God, I want to build an eye of the science guys show with you. Dude, this is a very gavin question. I always wanted to go where win starts.

It has to start somewhere. It has to start somewhere. Do you think in your life you've ever been where win starts? I don't know. It's a change in differential impression. That's what my favorite shell silver steam bugs. I love win sideswalk ends and where the wind starts. That's my favorite.

It has to start somewhere. Have you ever broken wind? Yes, that's it. And you've been where wind starts. I had been where wind starts. I don't know if that's efficient. No, I've broken it. That's for that for wind and then.

Back when you're facing against the wind current. Well, what is the range of wind? How far will it go? How far will it go? I'm gonna type into Google. What? Like in a weaned, it's just like, it go? I'm not going to type any Google. What? Like in a wheel, it's just like, it's like little micro gusts

from where you are. Like a tree isn't blowing. And then, was it like going all the way across the world or was it just like build up right there and hit you? My dad told me a fact. A side to me, I don't know what to say. Fact, a tidbit. Who knows, in fact, it's probably just proven right now. But the volatility of the gaseous state is such that, that's the longest fucking thing.

That's a paragraph of a comment in the, in the, in the, in the, one guy out of three that I was finding was talking about how they should detect and steal the loot from the others and myself and the other crew members before I put that guy in the brig. This guy's like, tell him a story about seeing these guys right now.

That's the only reason Bernie got distracted. It's a scene of theme. No, well now everyone's kind of right paragraph. I told you, this is why I didn't want the chat because this happens. I'm with distracted. It's a scene. No, well, now everyone's kind of right. Paragraph. I told you, this is why I didn't want the chat. Because this happens. I'm with you. I'm with you.

I like the chat. Hey, Mike Ann is telling us that cockpit wind shields are not tinted. Did you know this episode of the Rooster Podcast is brought to you by Goat? Mike sneakers is an investment of your time and money. And when they turn out to be fakes, then you really feel cheated.

So how can you be sure it's real? Goat.com is the safest way to buy and sell authentic sneakers online that the largest marketplace in the world for authentic Yeezy's, Jordans and over 600,000 sneaker listings. They've made the whole process frictionless and trustworthy. They do this by only accepting sellers for the best reputation by verifying all sneakers to ensure their authenticity for buyers and every detail is inspected from the stitching and the color to the size and weight. Goat certifies that every pair of sneakers on the site matches exact factory specifications with over half a million sneakers on the platform and 10 million users.

You won't find better prices for verified 100% authentic sneakers anywhere. It's a super great selection on goat, awesome styles. I mean, you can just look for a really long time and you can get really granular about exactly the kind of share you're looking for. It's super, super easy to find exactly what you want. So find the perfect 100% authentic sneaker at goat.com slash teeth. That's goat.com slash teeth. Plus you'll also be supporting our show. But you've got to go right now before the sneakers you want are gone. And when you go to goat.com slash teeth, that's geoat.com slash teeth. Thank you goat for sponsoring this episode of the receipt podcast. Do you want to do the chat? Hey, hey Derek, they get to stay. So the I'm with you, Chad. Dispersing.

Mutual. The volatility of the gashas state is such that in every breath that you take, there's a move you make. there's a molecule of air from basically every other breath ever taken. Like that, when you take a breath. That is insane. That's what, listen, this is my dad told me, as it's probably been just proven like a bit Julian times since then,

but the volatility gas in the atmosphere is such that, they dissipate so quickly. What's that? What about fish? I don't know about fish, I don't think fish breathe. Do you, here's the question. I don't know what you're thinking about. No, no, no, no, let him go.

Let him go. Let him go. They extract oxygen from water from their gills. Let me ask you this question though. This is a debate I actually have with a friend of mine. He didn't like to phrase drink like a fish because fish don't drink. I disagree with that.

I disagree with that. Because his argument was they're in the water, they don't need't drink. I disagree with that. I disagree with that. Because his argument was, they're in the water, they don't need to drink. It's like we're in the air, but we need to breathe. So do fish drink. Go, debate. You cross, cross talk. Point counterpoint.

I'm gonna say, yes. Well, the acts of drinking would be, does what'll go in this stomach? Right. And then process through their body balance. And they eat underwater, so I would say yes. They can't eat food without eating water. They're taking moisture out of food or something from the stomach where the food goes and nourishes

their body. That's the act of drinking. Can I, do you want to answer? Do you want to answer? Do you want to answer? Do you want to try it? I have a problem. Here's the problem. I have another question.

This is the problem with the internet. You can always look it up. I have another question. That is a problem. Only saltwater fish drink. What do you fresh water for? In fresh water, the inside of the fish is saltier than the surrounding environment. Water moves into the fish by osmosis passively through the gills and the skin and the stomach.

So it doesn't go in the stomach. Does that not count as drinking? Fish have to eliminate all the sexist water by peeing dilute urine. Who does? What? What you said stomach, though? I know, I'm confused now.

So they start to absorb it. If they absorb it through their skin and then they still piss it out, to me that's just drinking in a different way. Do fish pee. That's what the fish said? Okay, so they do pee, so then they have to drink. If I put water in your stomach through a hole, did you drink it? But the counter point is, if I don't

pee, I'm sorry not. Birds don't pee, but they drink. Birds don't pee. Let's say I didn't have a mouth. Like bird droppings have everything in them. It's a carbonation. The brown bit is poo and the white bit is piss. You's your acid, but it comes out of the butt. Where's not a butt, is it? It's a cloclea. No, no, wait, it's not. Cloclea, is it a cloclea? Yes, it is.

Colosseum. Colosseum. Monosololubic. Monosololubic. Listen, I knew that the thing existed. It's like 90% of the way there. Would you go for a double buck? I should break it.

I missed you so much. That's just like having diarrhea, right? That doesn't seem so bad. So if you put a hole in my stomach and you pour water in, yeah, will that be drinking? Yeah, I think so. You know what I say? I didn't have a mouth.

No. Let's say I didn't have a mouth. No. And you asked me, how do you drink? No. I would say, mm-mm, because I'm mouthful. But that would mean that that's how I drink. What about you? What about an IV? What?

It's not drinking. An IV. That's not drinking. That's not drinking. It's not drinking. It's not drinking. It's not drinking. It's not drinking.

Hold on, it's not drinking. So, John, if you fall across the line, it's not drinking. It's not drinking. It's not drinking. So, what I would address, how high up is drinking? You put the whole here. No, the whole here is drinking Through the cheek drinking his mouth drinking his mouth thing all I can imagine I was a bunch of fucking trout with an IV bag

And and they're going down the river I'm going over trying to forget fluids in their body. I also think I'm really upset about salmon Because I don't like that salmon can go from fresh water to salt water. That's like no time. I just don't like it. I just like. You're going to tell them you don't like it. You're one or the other.

What do you mean? We went on up and the moon. So. Solinity and number one. It's different levels. It is slowly doing it. It is. It is.

We left off planet. Are you worried about the same when people rising up to prevent it? Turtles are iffy because turtles breathe air and dolphins too. What about whales? Yeah, it's too iffy, they're too iffy. They got to choose.

The traders. They got to choose. They want to be up here with us so they want to be down there with them. Yeah, right. The fish are committed. That's a great song. I said a little mermaid.

Did you see the video of the lizard that had a bubble of air in its head, and it would just breathe out of that? That was wicked. No. So like a bubble stuck to it, it's had to like a skin bubble. It has like a hydrophobic, something head,

or it's like, air, it clings to it, but water doesn't go on it. And then it goes underwater, and it just like breathes it so in head bubble. It's like a scuba mask. Yeah, it was cool. No, it's like Gavin going it so in head bubble. It's like a scuba mask. Yeah, it's cool It's like Gavin going in his pool when he was a kid with a bucket Breathe in the bucket he would bring a bucket. Yeah, that's it. That's Gavin the pool

Dad's you you've always described that when you were a kid by the way don't fucking do that you could do it for a bit Yeah, I saw it in water world, totally worked. The hottest pot is dragging a bucket of air onto one. I'm pretty sure you're gonna pass out really quickly if you're doing that. Where are you fuckers just worried about running out of air on an airplane? Just like less than 15 minutes ago,

this massive airplane that holds hundreds of people, you could sleep on that overnight, even if it was airtight, you would be fine. They did, they did, they did, in Pirates Caribbean with, with a, with a rowboat. Here's a problem looking stuff up on the internet. I just, disremind you of a thing I read out in the internet that I wish I didn't fucking know. What? Which is, how do you make a baby?

Let's talk to me. I was back. I was going to do a pro for a week on that one. We were, we were actually now we're going to do our pregnancy announcement. I was trying to figure out how to incorporate either the bad thing or that, uh, how do I get pregnant? Have you ever seen that? That, yeah, where the guy takes all the yuh, the Yahoo answers and everyone asks, how can

I get pregnant? But nobody can spell pregnant right. And it's just fucking hilarious. And I think the name of the video is, how do I get pregnant, right? Or a pregnant? It's a great follow up to, I love the smell of the video is, how do I get pregnant, right? Or a pregnant? It's a great follow up to, I love the smell of my boyfriend's colon. Ha ha ha.

But, uh, what the fuck I was gonna say so I forgot to- You've learned it from him. I was gonna learn from Reddit. So, not related babies at all. Wait, we're listening to really disoffocation. Oh.

Like running out of air. It's kinda like, I'm always sure you run out of air. That's, I can't believe I'm sharing with these people because I didn't want to know this. You run out of air. It's kind of like, I'm always sure you run out of air. That's, I can't believe I'm sharing those people because I didn't want to know this. You run out of air and it's like, you run out of oxygen and it's a very peaceful way to die. And you're like, oh, you just run out of air

and you go to sleep and you die. And it's super peaceful. It's not the way that works. Because you don't really run out of air, oxygen. That's not how people suffocate and close in spaces. You suffocate from carbon dioxide poisoning, which is actually a really bad way to die. It's cool.

Cause is panic. Like it induces like raw pure anxiety in panic, because your body, I guess, has mechanisms in it to know, like get the fuck out of here, because you're in a CO2 environment. So you die screaming. And I just wish I didn't know that. I don't need this image in my head. I wish I didn't know that. It's not all like that. I like carbon monoxide.

You just pass out. Yeah, carbon monoxide, but you don't, but you don't poison yourself with carbon monoxide in a closed space. What? You poison yourself with carbon dioxide because you're breathing it out. You're creating, you're converting stuff. So before you die of a lack of oxygen, just in a space that is oxygen, you use it the oxygen and replace it with carbon dioxide. You're the CO2 generator in that case. But you can just have a little, not enough oxygen, right? Like a high-poxia, yes. Yeah. That's kind of like euphoric from what I'm good.

That's when you go to high altitudes. Dustin has that great video with that. That's such a good video. That's such an amazing video. Although he's got probably the best video thumbnail I've ever seen in the history of YouTube with that helicopter Underwater Rescue video that things fucking nuts I can't imagine the training like having that muscle memory. He did really well in the hypoxia video

The correct way. Yeah, he went in the hypoxia video He did really well with other like trained Commercial pilots there in the room with him And I think they have to tell him to put his shit back on and then he wouldn't do it though. I think he went past the point where he would have survived. Definitely. Yeah. He would have died if they had not put oxygen back in the room. He's a real dumb. Yeah, he's a smart dude. What's that like for a dumb person? Do you really? Smart. It's like flowers for Alchronon.

They become super smart. Just every minute school I have to read that. Dude, my kid just referenced flowers for Alchemy. They become super smart. Does every middle school have to read that? Dude, my kid just referenced flowers for Alchemy on the other day. And I forget what he was talking about. But it was a really like, I thought, wow, I haven't heard of that book in years, but I guess so. There's still a readin' it. Pressing story. It's a very depressing story.

Why don't they bring back educational video games? Like, math blaster? Like, what message was it was like a AAA Xbox educational game? You know, Oregon Trail was supposed triple A Xbox educational game? Oregon Trail was supposed to be an educational game. And you can now buy a handheld version of it. People would tell handhelds to spell if they make an Oregon Trail like that.

I don't think I learned anything from Oregon Trail, except what Dissenteri was. Yeah, I know Dissenteri. And that came, that's really useful for adult day-to-day life. I mean, what Dissenteri is. I always felt bad too, because I could never carry enough buffalo back. I had to waste like a hundred and fifty pounds of buffalo.

Fares, which you would waste a lot of. Without it was bears. There was some animal. There was a lot of waste all this time. There's probably buffalo too, but I remember killing too many animals and then just like, you just killed all these animals.

You're just gonna leave them here. Yep. What was the educational game that you played in the UK? Do you have the Oregon trailer? Do you call it like the Welsh path? No, I didn't really do that much. I played Mario teaches sums. Mario teaches sums. I mean, all through the universe. You know, I think it's Mario teaches math in the United States. I think it's Mario teaches math in the United States. States?

United States. You're fine. I didn't want to grammar for Mario, sorry. From Mario, sorry. Mario. Mario does words, teaches sums. Yeah, like adding in shit. Look that up.

Teachers sums. You know what I say sums? No. We would say addition. It's the monkey island games. Those top problems solving. There's a lot of problems, like a lot of puzzle game island games, those top problems solving. There's a lot of problems, like a lot of puzzle game. Yeah, there's a puzzle.

I would say that I would not classify that as an education. Look at this, this is not what I was looking for at all, but I'm happy that this exists. Someone wrote a book called Mario Teaches Sums that you can buy. Oh, and I know what to get you for your birthday next year. Yeah, just try and get a video of Mario Teaches Sums. I wanna see if it.

I'm here, I found it. I wanna see if it. I'm here, I found it. I wanna see if it jogs a memory that I haven't seen for 25 years. Of course, fucking off. Little video. This is why retro stuff is so hard. And I find this. Yeah, it was like all the sprites from the real Mario game.

We know, is it? This looks like the sprites from Super Mario World. Oh, here you've got it. But it was like really, game. It was it. This looks like the sprites from Super Mario War. I hear you got it. But it was like, really, it was really not fun. trademark and copyright in 1994 Nintendo. Copyright the software tool works. Luigi's gonna help. Where are the all moving so slow?

God, what's the frame rate of this? Well, I was there, my stuff. You're gonna give it. It was Eric, what was it on? What's it gonna spell? Mario? Well, I was there, my stuff. You gotta give it a little. Eric, what was it on? What's it gonna spell? Mario. Okay, so it was a PC game. It was a computer game.

Oh God, is he gonna go through the entire thing? We are watching all this. Everyone's sit tight. Hey, John, can we stream this? Can we have a Mario teacher, some stream? I'll get you now. Fuck off. We're doing it now.

We're doing that next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next week. We're doing it next Like what is six plus eight? That was the thing. Twitter was asking people, it was a thing on Twitter where they would put out like how do you solve this? Yeah, and Miles was like, he was confused by how people were doing math because if I said what is six plus eight, what is the answer? 14.

Yeah, and how did you arrive at that answer? I'm muscle memory. Just you know that six plus eight is 14. Yeah, memorizing the answers. I know all the single digit numbers. It's called, that's called rhetoric. That's the way they used to teach, which you would just memorize, you know,

you're not rhetoric, wrote. Is it? Yeah, wrote. Yeah, you memorize it smaller than you. Then you memorize it smaller than you can do. They didn't teach me that word. You can use that to do the bigger ones. They, you know, not all that,

but you'll damn teach this didn't tell you how to remember a 24 hour clock. I know how to just subtract 12 from it. Well, just remember what the numbers mean. We just never used it. We just don't, yeah, we know how to do that. But the excuse that Americans don't, they don't, they use it is because they don't like to do math when they tell, tell the time. Because we have to do math.

You're, you're a smart guy. Because we weren't taught it. I use it every day. But you don't actually have to do math, it's what I'm saying. You just memorized it. 17 is five. Right, if it's not memorized then. You're talking to do math, it's what I'm saying. You just memorize that 17 is five. Right, if it's not memorized then. You're talking about memory though, that's what my point was.

We don't use it. We don't use it. You should use it though. There you go, it's really good. You know what happened, you know what happened if we used it? We memorized it. I also don't know how long it takes to make tea. Like right off the top of my head, I can make a guest admit,

you probably know exactly how long it takes to make tea like right off the top of my head. I can make a guest admit You probably know exactly how long it takes to make tea That's a preference I learned that the hard way do not get a conversation with a British person about the proper way to make tea because everyone fucking does it different Oh, no matter how you do it you're you fucked it up. No, I don't know if you don't put the milk in first correct you're good correct You're gonna put milk on a tea bag your monster if you put milk in first. Let me taste them though I read about somebody's talking about their dad like annoying habits people in your family had And she was talking about her dad. She didn't like the fact that the way he would eat cereal Nope, don't do that either. He would what are you gonna say milk first?

Get this wall this guy is the fucking next level. He get two bowls He pour milk and one and she'll the other he take a spoonful of cereal dip in the milk What is going on? I don't know. I'm getting brilliant. I got a double goat double the dishes for no reason. I just read some Puxer problem of eating cereal. I guarantee that motherfucker didn't do his own business. Yeah, they have a double place map as well Let's give you a nightmare double place map. What do you have? This size placements and that's it. Why would fit two balls? They'd be like,

on the topic of making tea, that would be like, here's my tea with my water and my tea bag. And then here's my cup of water. And you just kind of like pour a little bit into a spoon and then take a shot of it. You take a spoon, and you're putting the tea bag in your mouth

and just pour the hot water in the water. The tea does need to sit in the water, but then you don't want to get in your mouth. God. When you drink it, boiling water. Part of cereal is when you put the fucking milk in, you've started the timer of when you have to finish the cereal bowl. Yeah. How long does your timer depends on the cereal?

My time is like 45 seconds. I got to get a shout out of that before I get so. But what cereal are you're a timer. Depends on the cereal. My time is like 45 seconds. I gotta get that shit out of that before I get so. But what cereal are you eating? Anything. No, because like frosted flakes are dissolved like that. Yeah, I'll wolf those down a sec. But grape nuts, you're cracking your teeth. Yeah.

So something I've learned too is that I had Gravel, Glukey Charms here. In the little bin, you get lucky charms. We're cool. They have the marshmallows, which are pretty much styrofoam. It's what they, they make that like squeak on making myself cringe a little bit by talking about it. If you leave it in milk, it actually turns into a regular marshmallow. Like it's like a normal, it's a normal marshmallow.

But it's like the time that you gotta have the marshmallow in the milk is greater than the amount of time than the cereal should stay in the milk. So that should be a staging system where it drops all the marshmallows, wait a minute, prime the rest. Exactly right. Or you should come up with a device that automates that for you. It sifts, it sorts them all out and then dispenses them prop, who makes that general meals, and be happy and so that.

Or you could have like, your cereal comes in two different bags in the box. One is just the marshmallows and the other one's just the cereal. I felt like when we're in the 80s, that was a little fat for a while where you would buy a box of cereal and it'd be like two smaller bags in there. So it's like you would buy two cereals at once. Screen of the environment.

Yeah. It's roughly the same amount of plastic. It just split up into two bags. It was so stupid. You don't live with anybody currently, but you have lived with other people. Sure. You both live with other people.

There's no greater test of relationship than watching someone you live with open a box of cereal for the first time and open the bag and how they do it. I've never met anybody in my life who can do that properly. Teddy opened a box of cereal the other day. It was like we left it out for the fucking rags.

It was like the lid was torn apart. The bag was like, nobody tries to go from the top of the bag, you just open it nicely. It's just like ripped from the side. You have to open up the cardboard part so that it can retain the ability to see on itself. Correct. And then you need to go to an edge of the bag.

Yes. And you open up the edge by pulling it apart and leaving it so it's a nice little spout but doesn't rip everything. No. Yeah. Yes. So that means you can just pour it.

It's a pour and the syrup doesn't just pour out. You open the whole top of the bag, don't you? Open the box, as John said. Carefully open the box. Get the top of the bag and rip the entire thing open. So it's quick pours and then you roll it, all fold it down. You see, rip the bag open. back and rip the entire thing open. So it's quick pause and then you roll it, all fold it down. You see, rip the bag open.

Do you like, so the bag's all it's got? I'm not the Hulk. I've got to open the middle of a bag. It's got to be a Hulk on the scene. What, you can just pull open the middle of the show. But you're opening up the entire scene? All the way open? Yeah.

Do you do that with like, you're a milk carton too? Do you open up the milk carton and just open up the whole thing to the spout? A big one! Oh no, I'm in for faster milk pours. No, I'm in Gavin, I open the whole bag and then he just rolls it closed. 2019 is the way I open milk is like this. I open it with an app on my phone. No, Gavin the way you open milk is you watch your front door open it.

Go to the cold box and do it there. Oh, I'm going to call my milkman. You're cold, male, but you got to maintain the box integrity because that's where you hold your cereal. No, you're talking about being careful with the top to reseal it like it's going to seal in any freshness. It'll, it'll, it doesn't do it. No, it's just presentation.

It keeps the bad. It keeps the bad. He's reasonable. No, it's just so you, when you go to poor and you pour out the fucking cereal, the whole box doesn't come out. So then you actually just have an actual controlled stream of cereal coming out. You're an animal, Eric.

The top of the box isn't doing anything. Eric, yeah. I want you to adopt Teddy. Because he has to go live in your house. Me and Teddy will feed the rat cereal. We should do what we think we're buying for boxes of cereal and then everyone opens it up in Private and we all show it's not when we will try to show how we wipe our assholes. Yeah Okay, Lauren. Yeah, what do you that one?

Yeah, yeah, I was yeah, probably Probably got I'm gonna bring a box of The chicken and waffle cereal and have you guys taste test it. We should, we should definitely do that. You know what the audience loves when we eat crunchy things right now the mic? They do, they love it. It's the best. And talk about it.

That should be an obstacle course. When you first get involved with someone, you should do the, what else is there? What else is there? What else is there? What else is there? What else is there? What else is there?

What else is there? What else is there? What else is there? What else is there? What else is there? What else is there? What else is there? What else is there? What else is there? What else is there? What else is there? It's just like, I finally got to point my life where I have separate sinks. It's the difference is incredible.

It's just like, our bathroom looks like, there's like a point of demarcation. It's like where there was a war on this side and everybody died and on this side, it's still like pristine nature. It's insane, it's insane. It's just like there's so much, and it's like in the shower, I'm like, I'm gonna get claustroph just like there's so much, and it's like in the shower,

I'm like, I'm gonna get claustrophobic, there's so much shit in the shower, I got like one bottle that I use for like my body and my hair. And that's it, you don't be that. The deepness, efficiency, boom, get it, get it out. Can it better than a bottle that is cleaning your entire body? Be better than that. You use a bottle for all the different kinds of dishes.

The one bottle. Do you have to have special shampoo for your new haircut? Well, yeah, you have special shampoo over here. No, but for the new haircut because you have colored hair now. Yeah, Robert advised certain shampoo. The Robert to keep color your hair? Yeah, of course. No one's gonna touch my hair except for Robert. Robert, I gotta hear it.

I didn't have a time. I had to do pickup shots for something and I needed to go back a month and I literally had about six hours notice. So I had to go some more. You got time machine? I'm gonna tell Robert. If we never talked about this for Robert is a person. He worked on 11 little roosters. He's this amazing.

With his honor. Yeah, with his honor. And who they don't know either. Oh, I was makeup for a podcast. Basically every single person, she was on the Sunday, Monday last week. She keeps you popped in. Oh yeah, she did, yeah.

And, but he's, literally every single person that I know of at the company, every guy who has curly hair goes to see the same guy to get their hair cut. Me, Cameron Malone, Wes, John, me, Alfredo Ghoston. Alfredo Ghost now too. I think of Alfredo as having curly hair. But Alfredo got, when Alfredo got his colored silver,

yeah, I was grabbed. I think Christopher Marist there. Please. No. I got a list of people who were up on a stand. We want to keep Robert or Trevor. Trevor tossed out that idea of me querying, specifically Matt from Achima Hunter,

and Matt just intrigued me to have the list of people that I would love to help get an order. Tristan has like mad men hair. So that's exactly who he wants to be. Matt's very happy with who he wants to be, and that's great. I would love to see Matt be at the very least a little healthier because there is some of his lifestyle

that I could concerns me about. Just longevity and health. Matt? Matt, who? Bragg? Bragg. Okay, there's so many mats. I'm like, can you do the fucking time

about it, Max or Matt? What's wrong with this health? That's just the way he eats and his diet and like that. Like I'm all for, you know, be happy, but I'm also all for be healthy, live longer, live better. You know, that kind of thing. I don't, it's not even about like aesthetic, it's just about actually... Maybe he wants to...

...allow your body to function. Bun bright and short. I'll be out with your body to function. Enjoy it while you can. Yeah. Gotta be like those two guys in that video. Let's do that video again, Eric. You can be like, I gotta be like those guys.

They're in the corner of the pool. They're in the corner of the pool having a fucking blast. They're enjoying the shit of himself. Dude, they're sound effects for them. Yeah, I know. I know That the throwback head of laugh is so real I

It's good time it's good every time Who's the guy that he was having a time? The guy who's filming a bullfart. What is that guy doing? Why is he out there filming shit? I love those guys. That puts on social media. Let me read this other thing. What's the real quick before you do that?

What's the me at thing? Because it keeps seeing it everywhere and I miss the video where it's just the pronunciation of his name. But it originated from somewhere like Wind. It's from Trevor. Okay. Sorry guys guys. All right. When I remind everyone this episode of the

received podcast is brought to you by Stuber. 20th century foxes action comedy Stuber follows a mile mannered Uber driver named Stu played by Kumail Nanjiani. You know, hence the film's name Stu Uber. Stuber. Stuber picks up a passenger played by Dave Bautista who turns out to be a cop hot on the trail of a brutal killer. Stu is thrust into a harry nor deal where he desperately tries to hold on to his wits, his life, and of course, his five star rating.

It was a screening at South by Southwest, lots of excitement, trailers hilarious. Best parts when Stu tries to throw the gun, gets popped in the head with it instead. Go check it out on YouTube. Well, stop screening at RTX, you don't miss that. Come ale's great on Silicon Valley, Dave's a badass in Guardians of the Galaxy.

We're excited to see this unlikely pair on screen together and fun fact, they're actually really good friends in real life so should be a lot of fun. So buckle up for a writer of your life and see Stuber when it arrives in theaters on July 12th. It's going to be Uber fun. You know, I had to get that one in there. So catch Stuber in theaters starting July 12th and if you had RTX this weekend, check it out at RTX as well. So thanks, Stuber for sponsoring this episode of the RESTEATES podcast. What would you do if you had the freedom to be anyone or to go anywhere without limitations? Start your journey and experience for yourself the feeling of total

freedom when you game with Alienware. Alienware is your portal to new worlds where limits don't exist and the only rules are the ones you decide to make. To find boundaries and start gaming now at Alienware.com. Next gen gaming is built with Intel core i9 processors. Yeah, our episode of sad day slash Monday driving with Kamehau was was really funny. He's a really fun guy. And he dude, yeah, real game it too. Also, by the way, well, he had a podcast on the nerdist network for a long time called indoor kids. And he's a he's been around.

I believe I should look it up I believe it's like some early college humor productions like he was really first scripted thing they ever did which was Street fighter the early years. I'm gonna make sure that he was in that before I say yeah, but it really funny Dude and crazy thing is Surprisingly jacked now like beefed up Yes, yes, yes. Get him to, if you see interviews now, you can see him like every now and then,

somebody will call it out and make him flex. And it's like, fuck this come from. What did this happen? Is that a Batista influence? Is that, yeah, it's probably a little bit of the Batista and just generally, I mean, or maybe he just got healthy and everyone's saying it's because of Dave Batista now.

Right, I'm in for it. And he's like, it can't be just because of me. Yeah, I know, right? So do we see someone else? Did you have you guys seen the kerfuffle about grunk, the retired tight end, right, Eric? Tighten? Yeah.

They had a picture of him just recently. And when he was playing, he just retired and there was speculation of whether or not he was going to stay retired. And I don't really follow him specifically, so I'm gonna try to get this right from memory. I believe when he was playing, he weighed 270-ish pounds, maybe like 275, but just a professional football player,

massive dude, but he just had a recently, like he attended some premier or something like that, just a six months after retiring and he's like 220. Like John, he lost like so much fucking mass. Well, that's for me is depressing because he just doesn't need it anymore. Right. Yeah.

When you're like an NFL athlete or an athlete on that level, your job is to work out constantly. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Everything about your life is focused on that. It's such an old reference, but it stayed with me ever since I heard it when Will Smith put on all the weight for Ali and he got pretty giant for that role.

He did. His response to people were like, you're gonna keep up, he's like, it is not worth it. And that's why he obviously slimmed down from there. And it was always maintained a pretty muscular physique, but that was his experience of getting big, athlete, big, and he was like nah, it's just, it's a lot of work.

And some guys totally maintain it, and some guys totally like it, but his response was like no. And imagine someone like a grunk like doing that for so long in perpetuity, getting a break and getting to like, not maintain that size. That looks like a regular dude.

Just looks like a dude, like a regular dude now. We met him at a day of doom. That's correct. He played with Michael or Adam. He played with Michael. I think he was not Michael's team as well. They had a doom thing with a... It's a couple of people I can't remember now. I'm gonna count to one of your Cinco,

our Terry Onary, and someone else I can't remember now and there's... count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two.

I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two.

I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one of the two. I'm gonna count to one ofH make. That's why I said, Rai you. That is? Rai you. Did it say their names in the, that's why I added like hearing it clearly. I just never like, either wasn't paying attention or it was because of the low grade of

audio. Like I just never got it. They had that, I think the only thing they actually said in the game was that shitty 8-bit voice stuff they had, but they would say the names of the countries when you go there. Oh yeah. Like you'd fly to fight Like a tagger tiger tiger uppercut. Well, you can't yeah, it's up like that. Yeah Japan so they ever say the names of the characters

Can I don't remember them saying can one wins, don't they? Ken wins Did they think if I was saying like you lose? Yeah, you win. Yeah, what it was. I'm hearing the sound in my head right now. But what if it's two player? That's a human player. Does that mean it's a good question?

I don't know. Maybe it was. Maybe they did say it. Oh Antonio Brown. I think that's people over there having fun. Ben lost the time. This people always just fucking have a great time here. It's like it's fucking screaming.

It's like six o'clock. Somebody send those people home. They're having too much fun. Get them out time here. It's like someone's screaming. Six o'clock, somebody send those people home. They're having too much fun. Get them out of here. Fuck off. It's not like a bottle of cash. I hear like dishes and laughing over there. People are having a fucking blast.

Because you asked for it, Gavin. I did. You got really excited about it. You wanted a beer? Like some beers. Oh, man. I wish I liked beer. So in a testament to how stupid people are. I don't know what if you saw this but

When you buy like an Apple iTunes gift card or an App Store gift card now on the back they have to start printing This is only good for the App Store or the iTunes store. This is not you cannot use this to pay your taxes Oh really I've always read this has no monetary value Yeah, now they say like it cannot, it explicitly says cannot be used to pay taxes. Because the IRS doesn't want a bunch of free songs. Right, like who, who, I don't understand how that scam, how, I don't understand how people fall for this scam

to begin with. If you don't know, sometimes scammers will call people, pretend to be the federal government, tell them they'll back taxes and need to pay it now over the phone and they need to go to a store and buy an iTunes gift card and Read them the numbers over the phone. Oh shit. That's where I've never heard that last part. Yeah, people were standing in their Tax return with a bunch of gift cards. So that's the cameras call and they get the people to go and buy like hundreds of dollars to

Give cards read them all the code so that they can then sell them or use them. I have people walk to the store and they'll be on the phone Like instructing them because like they target really old people at the time. Right and so now they come with a warning that they cannot be on the phone, like instructing them, because like they talk it really old people at the time. Right. And so now they come with a warning that they cannot be used to pay taxes. I don't think we talked about it before because it was, we were really concerned about it, but this has been so long ago now. We ran into that. We got a call from a shipping center and they said, hey, we have a bunch of your t-shirts here. This is back when we sold primarily t-shirts. And this is like, what, going have a bunch of your t-shirts here. This is back when we sold primarily t-shirts. I mean, this is like, what, going back 13 years at this point.

It was like a shipping center in San Antonio? San Antonio, right. And we were like, okay, what's the problem? They go, well, all your stuff is being shipped to, I wanna say Nigeria. It was Nigeria. It was Nigeria. And we checked our records and we didn't have any sales to Nigeria.

In fact, I don't think we could process stuff at that point in time from Nigeria. And they didn't have any sales tonight, Jury. In fact, I don't think we could process stuff at that point in time from Nigeria. And they didn't investigation on it. And they said, oh, it's fine, you guys are okay. We can return this stuff to you if you want to, but we have to send it along. It was a lady, they had a name for it. They call it re-boxing.

It was re-boxing. Yeah, my memory's actually working. Or we have the same faulty memory, Gus. Where somebody in Nigeria befriended this older lady and They would just have her buy stuff Online and then it would ship to her house and then she would box it and ship it To Nigeria so she was paying for the merchandise and then paying for the shipping But then they were gonna pay her a bunch of money in the future to pay for everything.

It was like one of those things where they give you a fraudulent check where you deposit it and you get money, but then the bank realizes that it's fake and the money goes away after like 10 days. Yeah. And that's when we learned too, because we were like, well, we don't wanna like, can we get her name?

Because we don't wanna ship any more stuff to her. Yeah, yeah. You know, we want to try to help her even by, you know, basically not honoring her orders. And they wouldn't, they couldn't give us any of that information. So we're just like, we just know of the existence of this person essentially, and that we couldn't, couldn't do anything about trying to investigate

and figure it out. It sounded like it was a decent amount of stuff. So we thought we'd be able to find it, but we never could find out who it was. I'm pretty sure that we were standing much. Oh, what are they were scamming us? Is that like a real service that people offer there? So we thought we'd be able to find it, but we never could find out who it was. I was able to do that much stuff. What are they were scamming us? Is that like a real service that people offer though? If your country isn't delivered to you by a place, you can get a ship somewhere else first.

There's literally, I don't think anything illegal about it. Unless you're breaking some kind of import law and shipping something that can't be delivered to that country. Like seeds or something like that. But it's one of those things that follows in gray area. You can give someone your money, you know, unless you can prove it's directly fraud, you made misleading statements, then you could say that. But yeah, I don't think there's anything illegal

about buying something and then just shipping it to somebody else in different country. Buying some high quality wrist-cheat merchandise. What about that, Gus? That is an incredible deal. It's an incredible deal. Come to the coup, but RTX. I found the exact.

Free shipping. This weekend, definitely card cannot be used for payments outside of US App Store or iTunes store, including taxes printed in red on the back of the house. Well, they always put that they used to put that the fine print of every like contest or coupon. They put the monetary value of the coupon. Like, the coupon says a dollar off and says dollar dollar dollar all over it. Cupons worth 0.01 penny.

It's always like 0.001 cent is what it's worth. And that's it. Is that because people would say, are you only a dollar because this coupon expired? I think it's like, it's like every disclaimer on stuff like that is because someone or enough people caused that problem happen enough where they just have to put that disclaimer there. It's like, why is it caution liquid hot

on a goddamn cup of coffee? It's because someone burned their mouth, tried to sue and they have to cover their ass now. But whenever I bring that one up in particular, people will correct me now. And so I'm gonna do the same thing to you, which is that person apparently reported to that McDonald's several times that the coffee was too hot. Sure. Then it ended up burning themselves.

And you ended up being like 200 degrees. Yeah. No, that's, I guess, and then the answer is that it's just if egg problem, that's almost a hundred. That shouldn't be a problem. It happens enough. They're going to cover their ass and put that on there so that they do not, they're no longer liable. It's just covering your ass. It's such a weird thing because people, if they're wrong, they want to have a remedy, especially against a big company, right?

And but they don't want the big company to have these protections of like saying, you know, like all these like little rules or all these disclaimers to things. But at the same time, we just were talking earlier, and it's like the first reaction of the lady got locked on a plane was, she should see the airline

Oh, that's not my reaction. I think people sue way too often and it's just like you're abusing that privilege, but I would like get something out of it, you know get like some flights out of it to me I'm more concerned is like a passenger on that airline Why don't they walk the plane or clean the plane? There's a post they're supposed to yeah at the very least Maybe they don't want to wake her up. They're very polite Canadians. They're like, she's had a long day. Well, later sleep.

She didn't have that tag that said wake me for snacks and landings. Right. On the topic of like weird redundancies, I brought this up, they think just a night with a couple of the people that are in town. And I'm curious to you guys thoughts of why this is occurring. If you go like downtown to the Trader Joe's, that's like.

I was just there. Okay, so parking garage underneath the Trader Joe's. You go in and there's a normal machine where you push the button, get you ticket, go park. When you're done, exit parking garage, go to the machine, scan your code, tell you how much you pay, pay, GTFO. Almost every time I go there, there's a dude there.

Yeah, I don't understand why that dude there. There's a dude that stands there, he'll come over, he'll push the button for you, grab your ticket, give it to you, and then when you go, he'll take your ticket, scan it, ask for your card, and I'm like, I was getting the airport to have that too. I was getting so frustrated, because I was there yesterday,

when I was there on Saturday, and when you leave, there's two lines. So the dude could only be at one line at a time. Yes. And the line was like backed up. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? There's two lines. I, it's taking me a long time to get out of here.

So I managed to like, make my way over to the left lane because I see the left lane's moving to the right lane isn't, get over the left lane. And I look and the dude's just sitting there chatting with the guy in the car. Yeah. He's like, well, here's the fucking problem. I just scan my thing and go.

It's like, not only is it less efficient, the dudes actively making it worse now. Well, my logic is even goes even further than that and your situation actually even negates this. I'm like, maybe some people have a hard time navigating the paying stuff. You don't pay there, do you? Yeah.

You know, you can scan it in the Trader Joe. Yeah, you tell me. Yeah, I never pay. Just make sure because yeah, it's it's free. You're like that. I know. But it's like the same system that's at the park and garage over here at Mueller. It's saying that same party system.

But like the entrance part isn't the most complex fucking puzzle over created. It's a goddamn butt. Maybe a C's been working there for 60 years and they don't want to ever tell you that's been there for like the last four years. One time I went to this draft house over here, Mule, the one you're talking about with that park garage. And one time I was getting so infuriated because you know like you say you pull up and The thing you rolled on your window the thing says please push the button Yes, you push the button and it spits out a ticket and you take it in the park I pulled up and there was a car in front of me at the thing at the

His windows down I can tell because his arms out and he's got a credit card in his hand and he's trying to stick it into the machine This is going in this is going into the garage. The thing's telling him, please push the button, and he's like trying to stick his credit card into the machine just to get into the garage. How do he's from a different country? And I just watched him. I was like, it took him like three minutes

to get into the garage. He could not figure out how to push the button to get the flashing blue button. That's right. There are some things where it's like culturally by the look of it. It's very similar to how you would do it in your country. And then it looks the same, but the flashing blue button. That's right. There are some things where it's like culturally by the look of it. It's very similar to how you would do it in your country. And then it looks the same, but it's slightly different.

Like the amount of times I've watched Americans put their card into a machine in England and then rip it out. Oh yeah. Because they think it's a swipe, but essentially you just leave it in for the chip to be read. And there happens a lot.

People just go like, it's like, put the card back in. I think that's been away now with the chips. Chips are going to be nice. Wouldn't you rather have the person standing there helping people just so you don't get that like two or three people in a row who just have to read every year? Is this the first time you've ever been in a house in helping? Have never been in this situation before in their life?

Well, in this situation, that was a guy by himself. What I'm saying is I ran out of the guy there who goes, oh, just push the button, man. And that's it. I'd rather have the guy there who does that. He should be there to help if needed. But otherwise just stand and stay out of the guy there who goes, oh, just pushed the button, man. And that's it. I'd rather have the guy there who does that. Just, he should be there to help if needed. But otherwise just stand and stay out of the way.

Just do what everyone else does and just have it automated by the license plate. Sure. I got trapped in that garage recently. Did I tell you all that? You got trapped? It was you? Leaving, yeah, I did.

You need all the brinkles. Leaving the draft house, you know, you pull your ticket. I think it's when I sign a game. Do you need some brinkles? Do you need to buy you some brinkles? When you go to leave, you have to validate your ticket. Penders, you go to the brunt. Penders, you go your ticket. I think it's when I sign game. Do you need some wrinkles? Do you need to buy you some wrinkles? When you go to leave, you have to validate your ticket. Penders, you go to the front and you're on a plane. You go to the front of the tap house and they validate your tickets, you don't have to pay for parking.

So I went, I went to validate my ticket. I go to leave, I get up to the machine, and then just like Criter Joe's, you put your ticket in and the gate is supposed to come up. Well, I put the ticket in and then it said, ticket invalid, and it spit my ticket back out. It's like, well, that's weird. This is your nightmare, buddy.. And I'm like, I'm not kind of a glass. I'm like, hey, he's obviously the parking attendant. Yeah, I talk to that person with the problem. Like, hey, I'm not going to be a glass enclosure. I'm like, hey, I'm not going to be a glass enclosure.

I'm not going to be a glass enclosure. I'm not going to be a glass enclosure. I'm not going to be a glass enclosure. I'm not going to be a glass enclosure. I'm not going to be a glass enclosure. I'm not going to be a glass enclosure. I'm guy is in that little glass enclosure. Yeah, and I'm like I'm like knock on the glass. I'm like, hey, the He's obviously the parking attendant. Yeah, I talked to the person with the problem like hey My ticket's not letting me out. It's just taking a valid. He goes, oh, I can't do anything to help you

Nice. I said, why is that what he goes? What you need to do is just go back up to the machine and hit the help button and I was like but Why are you please tell me the help button goes to him? Yeah, I was like, but. Why are you please tell me the help button goes to him. Yeah, I was like, he's okay. So I go back in my car. I get credit for it. This is getting to be my nightmare now because I have to go back knowing my ticket's not going to work.

Oh, you're waiting for someone to pull it behind you. So I, I, I very quickly go up, uh, go up to the thing, put my ticket in. It's this ticket invalid. I push the help button. I'm looking at this guy. It's not him. Then a woman answers. And she's like, you know, can I help you?

I'm like, um, my ticket's not working. It's taking invalid. Then a woman answers and she's like, you know, can I help you? I'm like, my ticket's not working. It's taking invalid. Go to the window. And she goes, oh, okay. What are the four digits printed on your ticket? I'm like, what? I look at it. It's like, one, two, three, four.

She goes, okay, the gate's open now. The gate just opened. I was like, okay. And I just, I just, I just, I just, You know, probably in a cool center, someone completely different too. Right.

That was the one. But they made me wonder, why the fuck is that guy there? Yeah. We should ask him. What do you do? He was watching Netflix on his phone. Yeah, that makes sense to me. I told, I don't think I did hear,

I told you about my the worst anxiety trip I ever had with the parking garage at Disneyland. Oh yeah, with the, yeah, yeah, yeah. What the Uber guy? That like, what you're talking about like having to drive up and be stuck in a position where you're in community, someone else, those are just the worst. I do not want to do that. I have no one else thinks about that.

No, they do not. Glenn Howardton had a great tweet that I think about literally every single time that I travel. And his tweet was two parts. There's busy or maybe a graphic one that he like screenshot from his notepad, which is like, here's me when I travel. This is Glenn speaking of himself. Me when I travel. Me, hello, agent. Hi, where are you going today?

I'm going to Los Angeles. Great, do you have any bags to check? Nope, got it right here. Great, have a great flight. Thank you, bye. Everyone else when they travel. So, what do you do here at the airport? We just have planes and they go places. Like where do the planes go like where do the planes go and you're not prepared for this at all

And they said no, we're not how hold on a second sir Let me type in the entire autobiography of Anne Frank for a moment and it's a hundred percent true It's like I never understand what the person in front of me is doing that takes 20 minutes You even and then it takes me two seconds even like at a fast food restaurant. Yes. You're like, I know what I want. It's gonna take. It's gonna take me 10 seconds to order. I agree. McDonald's, McDonald's.

There should be no surprises at this point. No, the McDonald's implementing the digital menu that you can order without even going to the person is my favorite thing ever. It is, but it's covered in poop. It's what he mean, it's covered in poop. Did you not read that story? Part of it.

Everything's poop, but the whole handle's poop. It was in the UK, in your country. Look, we're poopy people. Uh, some researchers went and started swapping those machines, they were mysterious. And they discovered that they were covered in fecal material. I bet the many things is, every menu in every restaurant

has so much poo on it. Who's the fucking scientist? Who's this job? He's going out looking for fucking stuff. Everyone needs to stop. You're going to find it if you look for it. Yeah, everyone needs to know that like a couple of tiny,

a microscopic dollops of feces, probably won't hurt you. Probably not, probably not. You're probably gonna be okay. Let's see. Do you know there's some colon conditions, stomach disorders and intestinal disorders where they, one of the medical treatments

is a poop transfer Yeah, transplant. I'm trying to get the you got to get the Bacteria bacteria something like I just get the bacteria and just take like a pill that gives you the bacteria or you know I'm gonna put it on the way. It'd be direct like poop to poop But apparently that's the way it works. Have you ever shoved a pill? That's what P2P is short for poop to poop They it's got an acronym now. It's common enough to wear. They need an acronym for it. So let me think about this.

Have I ever done a supposer? I think I would remember that if I have, no. Okay. Have you? Yeah. Was it a job getting it up there? Like, I was not prepared for how that would feel. You ever, if you ever stuck a finger up there?

It's just like touching a McDonald's touchscreen. It's exactly the same. That's not true. What, what, what, what they didn't, they told me, perberally, they told me the instructions wrong. I just said what? What? What?

You literally stepped was wrong. Take this up, but. That's pretty much what they told me. He went for the year. What I didn't say was, I was just wait for like five minutes afterwards. Wait was for what made it worse. It was like a waxy substance.

You went from aerobics. It's meant to melt. You meant to just like hold off, wait for it to melt. I got it up there after a while and that I thought, well it's up there, I'll go to work now. So I walked out of the bathroom, got dressed, and I was like, oh, and then I walked out my front door, and it was like, it just shut out,

and it was like partially melted at this point, so I just had like paste, like white paste in my underwear. I was gonna say there's underwear involved with this, yes? Yeah. And then I was like, I wonder if I got enough, do I have to put another one up there? Did you have to get the pace to put it back up in there? No, I didn't try and stuff the,

I put it in one of those cookies here. The cup cakes. No, it was, I didn't like doing that. It's an acquired taste. You know, you got to build up to it. You got to build up to it, buddy. Yeah, it's a small, small deposit for it. I took to then just lying on the bed after I'd done it for a bit.

With your legs up in the air? I don't know, that was forcing out, wouldn't it? I don't know. It was a big deal for fun though. I was on my front with my ass cheeks crushed together. Like you like clenching up. We like doing like you're a good downward dog, is that what you were?

All right, if you had to put, if you had to suck stuff up your butt using just your body. We've already talked about this. You would go and learn how to prop. I want you to vape to do that already. All right. We've had this conversation. I'm working on it Yeah, why don't we do that? They're supposedly someone's sending me a vape pen specifically for this act Yeah, it's like a little white bullet Did you do another one? Yeah, I went in front of the one. Yeah, okay

That one went better because I just laid there. But then I was missing one on the last day. How many did you have to do? 12. A ham. Really? It's a lot. Did anybody ever had to do a semen sample?

No. No. No. Okay. I mean, I practiced a bunch, but I've never I was like not professionally now. I Found it surprisingly difficult to do To really is I've never had to aim in a very specific. Well, you're not living I've never I've never had to complete that action on a one make sure

Yeah, how big how big of an area we talking? We're talking like that, like that. I think think think your urine sample, little stings. Okay, like the same kind of cup. So like, we're about the size of the top of a can of beer. We'll just shove it in there at the end. What do you say to the grass the room and go for distance? What do you do here?

We're so like, it's so perfect, man. It's where so like, okay, now imagine. It doesn't seem that hard. Imagine your masturbating, okay? Hold on, got it. All right, so imagine your masturbating, okay? Hold on got it. All right, so imagine masturbating. What is a common? Direction wouldn't help your story if I masturbated while you told us yes, should I be thinking about him masturbating? Everybody is not everyone imagine Bernie is masturbating. Let's do it together So look Bernie is masturbating which direction would your penis normally be facing?

What? No masturbating. Oh wait, what? That's... What's... What's... I only masturbate into the sun. No.

What's... What's... Where is your penis pointing? Away from my computer monitor. That's what I've learned. That's what I've learned in the years You're going like over your shoulder? I gotta think it's really specific to me though I like to point directly at it McDonald's menu

That's what I like to do I can't finish unless there's an McDonald's menu I like to try to finish the order and myself at the same time It's a race Check out Ooooooh I like to try to finish the order and myself at the same time Now you're fucking penis is pointing up well, bitch. I'm 46. Okay It is usually above the 90 degree angle Yes, I'm a good day. Yeah on a good day

Bernie's penis is facing above a 90 degree above a 180 degree plane, you know So to get into something You got to get it to go down into the receptacle. Let's go do a handstand So that you're making it even more complicated Do you masturbate while you do a handstand? It's calm, just go. Yeah, it's not going to like pour us out water. It's goop. Yeah. So it's like this and then done. It's like that way you take a bucket and you swing it over

head that doesn't come out. So you're saying just stick it on the cap and just go into it and then just really quick. Ah, yeah, we're like a helmet and you're done. Okay. I can do that. I can do that. And then the leaning is the obvious answer. I attempted to get it to go down.

It's like when you try to pee when you were erect. You're kind of like lean. That's great. That's a great example. But it's super comfortable. Dude, you're not, you're jerking off for a fucking seamen sample. You're not jerking off because you were looking

at a big Mac. You could also. You could also take a few looking at a big Mac. You could also, you could also, you could go on your back and swing your legs over your head. I'm just, just get, just get that back there. And just if you put the cup like by your ear, you're gonna straight out.

But you even admit that when you have to pee with your dick down, that's an uncomfortable position. And normally when I masturbate, it's comfortable. Wait, you pee with your dick right but this is an endormal masturbation situation Like the mood didn't catch you do it at home or do you do it in the clinic? I did it at home And then and then had to get it to the clinic which is where you must embarrass things very done is carrying a baggy Are you allowed to run red lights? You're like, I can't, I'm gonna hurry up. There's a timer. That's the shit, has a timer.

That bit an hour? I think it was short, they told me. That'd be the one time that the cop pulled me over. They say, can I search the car? Be like, be my guest, dude. Check that bag right there. The place that I had to go drop it off, I also had to like, I couldn't just like,

there was no like, bin just put it in. I had to go sign in and just sit there in the waiting room with my little brown bag that's got my coming in and just wait for them to call my name to come take my sample. To come take it. Anyways, that's the, can you give it to Korea?

What's that? Can you like reverse? Can you post me? Reverse post made to it? That's a favor you don't want to ask. Mate post. Maybe a task rabbit that does that, right? That sounds about right.

Or a favor or a dash they come to a five or do. Just to a five or is a five or something? What do we have in Austin that's equivalent of that? Like, we're all of those. We have a task rabbit as well. Yeah. Because I just never used it. Why didn't you just come there?

Yeah. That's not what they told me to do. I mean, you can go there and just go That's not what they told me to do. I mean, yeah, you can go there and just go to the fucking bathroom and do a squirt out. I'm pretty sure I got my sample thing at a different location than where I was gonna be turning in. Oh, you could jerk it while you're on the way there.

In the car? Yeah. Yeah, the only time I fed to Aimein to something was for 23 of me. Pardon? What? Go on. They gave you a seamen sample for 23 of me?

What are you supposed to do? You spit. Not really kidding. That you know that someone's gistin' one of those though, right? Yeah, probably. Probably. So the same person who tried to pay their taxes with iTunes gift cards.

Yeah, probably. It probably has a lot of warning labels on it. Like saliva only. I was amazed when I had to fill that tiny little vial with saliva. How long it took me to, like saliva only. I was amazed when I had to fill that tiny little vial with saliva. How long it took me to do that? Yeah, it was long. I was thinking, oh, this is tiny little thing.

And there's like spit, spit, spit, spit, spit. I get tired of spitting. You're gross. I just thought about a lemon. You just thought about a lemon? Think about you in a lemon right now. Did nothing to me whatsoever. You're biting into a lemon.

Shut your eyes and bite the lemon. Ciao. All right, imagine Bernie's masturbating there's a lemon next time. Yeah, that's not quite that. That's what we do. It wakes him back up because he's choking himself at the same time.

It's got to have that lemon wedge in there. They don't let you choke yourself in a McDonald's. They don't get it as self. Wait, that's right, take your own belt. I think you get thrown out. You gotta go to Burger King to this joke. No. No.

No. Oh my God. I went to the divorce dad's Burger King just the other day. The one with the sad one. Did you see it? It's so sad. It's so true. It is the divorce dad's Burger King. It is on, this one how he described it,

that how sad it was. It's where all the divorce dad's going. Like if you go here, it's just like middle-aged single dudes who you know they don't have their kid that night. So they're just sitting there eating Burger King and it's the whole restaurant, is that? It is the weirdest Burger King I've ever seen

because it doesn't have a drive-through. So it's like a commitment to go. You gotta like stop the car and go and get in. It's on 35th Street, right? I don't even know what to cross. I just put it close to MoPak. It's right there. So I went there because I wanted a chicken sandwich.

I got a chicken sandwich again. I really wanted it. So I stopped and got it. Actually, I have a pregnant wife, so we go wherever the fuck she wants to go to eat at this point. She's like two months away at this point. Less than that,

she went a month and three weeks to the expected due date. Inavogue is what we're looking at. So I'm speaking of everything covered in shit. That's gonna be your life soon. Yeah, man, I can't wait. I'm so excited to have baby. I'm so excited. Boy, there's a lot of stuff that's changed.

Like, we went out to go look for baby stuff. She made me wait until right at this point, to go out and get stuff or share buying stuff from Amazon. And so we just went to the store. It's crazy the fucking shit they have now. The little cradles that baby sitting in the little rockers, these would be the crank spring that we rock back and forth.

Now they're on these robotic arms. They're like, it's almost like the same mechanic of a merry-grown where it goes up and down and as it goes up and down, it also makes that moot motion. Yeah, it's like a Perry Potter VR ride in your house. It's like moving around. They're so good.

You can control it with an app, although I get to admit, I'm not paranoid about a lot of stuff, but I don't wanna, I'm gonna tone down my Wi-Fi, or actually have already, because while Ashley's pregnant, I don't want her using her phone, sitting on her stomach and stuff like that.

And I don't, this thing, it's the reason that I didn't want to get it was because you can control it with your phone, like an app, but that just means broadcasting Bluetooth. I don't feel like everything has to do that. That's not the poo thing. Is it everywhere and everyone's subjected to it? Yeah, so you're gonna get it now from everywhere.

Yeah, even if you turn off your Wi-Fi, what else is out there? Your name is Wi-Fi. Yeah, beaming that. What's the kerfuffle about 5G? Like, people were worried we're rolling that out too fast and we haven't done enough testing on 5G, and it's impact on people.

There was, there, I think it stems from one study that said that, I'm not trying to downplay it because it's actually kind of serious. I believe it was NOAA or the National Weather Service who said that 5G operates in the same frequency that they use for satellite imaging to detect water vapor in the air and that it could reduce the accuracy of hurricane traffic

and hurricane tracking in coastal areas. I think the NOA is people who make all the nautical charts too. Yes, very cool correctly. Yeah, we just shouldn't have it then. But it's not clear if that's actually the case or not. But at the very least, from a health standpoint, we're already, it sounds like operating in that bandwidth, we're already broadcasting at those frequencies, right?

It would be a lot more dense though. Be a lot more dense. Yeah. I think it's Europe that's raising the kerfuffle about it. Right? But they're worried about. Oh, I heard about you. You know, Europe's amazing though, because they're like, you've had the

civilization for thousands of years and we didn't have the stuff before. So they're always very reluctant to put something out, deploy something without investigating it first and getting it. Without letting them air it would have been it first. Coming from the country that went like a Fahrenheit. And now I'm saying it's a good thing. I'm saying it's a good thing. You know, we know it wouldn't just roll the stuff out so fast. Let's take it fucking easy. No, let's roll it out. I need faster internet.

Now I don't have... How is Elon Musk gonna put 4,000 satellites or however many things he's gonna fucking put in orbit? And there's got to be a plan for getting them out of orbit, right? Did he just put them back into the atmosphere? Where India blew up that satellite, they were testing their satellite blowing up abilities. That one that hit Sandra Boat?

No, but it's like they're having that problem where it's like the debris they thought would decay. It's everywhere. It's like taking with the movie gravity. That's it, okay. It's like you're... It's the same issue where that satellite debris they thought would decay in its orbit and you know, burn up in the atmosphere, hasn't done it yet. It's just like issue where that satellite debris they thought would decay in its orbit

and burn up in the atmosphere hasn't done it yet. It's just orbiting up there. Can they just send them out further away out of range? What's that? But it's debris. You gotta get through the debris. Was it a lot of sudden blowing shit up? Just fire it away from us.

No, I think what they're doing is now people are showing they can blow up each other satellites. That's what these tests aren't, right, Gus? There's shows of force. They're the new launching the missile over someone else's country. Or blowing up each other satellites. Right. That's what these tests are, right, Gus? There's shows of force. They're the new like launching the missile over someone else's country. Or blowing up an island in the Pacific. Or blowing up an island in the Pacific.

Who is it? Some country, I only read this recently. France. Some country, no, no. Some country in the Pacific Ocean. That's right. That's flag. It looks like the American flag,

but it has black stars on it to denote every island the US blew up through a atomic testing. That does. That's a dark thing to have for your representation. That's a commitment. And I forget how many stars it is, but I want to say it's like 10 or 11. Let me look at it.

No shit. Holy cow. It's a bit of a burn. But that would be an awesome unlock and see if these have that flag. No one's going to play see if these. No one's playing see if these are the. No one's playing Sea of Thieves with you. You be surprised. No one's playing with you.

Andrew Pan and I are playing. You can't even wear a band. You got him banned. You got him banned. No, he's only 24 hours. He's good. That's all everybody gets from playing Sea of Thieves with you. They get banned.

So Matt Bragg also plays Sea of Thieves. And I stopped him in the hallway over in the Achievement Hunter building. That sounds weird to say that. But where they work, and I stopped him over there in the hallway hunter building. That sounds weird to say that, but where they work and I stopped him over there and the hall went and say, I'm thinking of what's starting, they have these clubs on Xbox.

I'm thinking of starting an official Ruchocheev Sea of Thieves Club. What do you think? You go, it's okay. Like, you're gonna be like, Matt Brown was like, completely non-plus. He's like, yeah, yeah, go for it if you wanna do that. That's it.

It's the flag of the bikini A toll. They have white stars. That's gonna save five black stars, yeah. For their existing flag and the five black stars for their destroyed islands. They should have had gaps where the five stars used to be. Wow. It was really poorly designed.

It does. It looks like something that's like a eight bit, like MS paint kind of a thing is what it looks like. Well, it's not a real flag. It's a, I know it's not a real flag, it's a... I know, it's not a real flag. Digital representation of the flag. I don't know, but still, this,

I can look at other people, country flags and it doesn't look like somebody did it in a spare time. There it is. Yeah, it's not, that's not very well designed. Like, a lot of, how would you cut down the flag from? I don't know. If you cut down the flag from, I don't know. Well, San Serif text on it.

A lot of flags are terrible. I think I saw a video a couple of years ago where someone just went through and critiqued flags. It was A lot of flags are terrible. I think I saw a video a couple of years ago where someone just went through and critiqued flags. It was like, all flags are terrible. I memorized a lot and I've lost it, but I memorized almost every country's flag in the world for before we went on the amazing race. Are you ready?

I've been hitting, no, I'm not wearing overalls. I'm not wearing iPad on my face. Here's a little, a little pad. Here's a little pad. And I pad on my lap. I feel like most seasons of pad. Cheers a little pad. And I pad on my lap. I feel like most seasons of the amazing race in the last episode, there's a challenge that's a wrap up of all the places they've been.

Like, no, that's 100%. That's always the last episode. Not this season. Yeah. They didn't have that in this most current season. And you know, they finished, I was like, they were running for the end. I'm like, well, they still got to do the thing

where they put in order, all the countries they visited and everything and they just got to the mat. And I was like, oh, I still got to do the thing where they put in order, all the countries they visited and everything and they just got to the mat. And I was like, well, I think they just started doing that this season. Do you know that that's why Ashien and I are totally fine with where we place in the amazing race because we knew on the last episode, we would have lost that day.

Yeah, that's that that challenge is nuts. Yeah, because we would have saved me for the memory challenge, but the early challenge in that episode required height. And Ashley, we know Ashley would have done that challenge, and she would have been like Tyler and- That was the jumping off the building. That was jumping off the building. Jumping out and reaching, and Matt, who's the dancer, super tall guy to begin with, and incredible leg strength, jumped and was able to grab the ticket.

They kept moving in if you didn't reach it, but he had to reset for this jump off of building and Tyler and Coles mom Sherry, they had to do like two or three times and they just never caught up. And we know for a fact, Ashley would have had to do that first. So she's small. Yeah, I mean, she's great.

You know, she'd be great in the dancing challenge, but she would have had a tougher time grab than that thing for sure. Tyler Corey got second place in spoiler. Oh yeah, probably spoiler. Is it, it's been more than a week. Last week, last Wednesday? All right, you're probably good.

Yeah. Look, they should have seen it by now. No one's seen it. Congratulations to them. That was, they had a really good race. And, but it was one of those seasons where it's like a lot of people who have been on a lot of different shows.

And, and the Afghans, they had been on the amazing race. I think this was their third or fourth time. This was their third time. Crazy. Good team though. They're really entertaining on TV. But they're very hot and cold. They are. But they're always in your telling. When it comes to challenges, not like a personal thing. Sometimes they're just nailing all of them and then sometimes like something just trips them up. Actually, I had a weird thing on that too, where there's two kinds of contests. There's detours and roadblocks. And detours are where you both have to do it

and you choose between two things. You do this or you do that. And there's kind of clues to kind of indicate what they are. There's a roadblock where one person on the team does it and the other person, once you commit to that person, does it, the other person just has to sit there and watch them. And they can't say anything.

There was an agonizing one this season. I think it was the first elimination where a guy who made it to the end and just couldn't complete the envelope block. You know, this one where he's trying to get up that thing. And the slope that was slippery. Yeah, that was it was honestly heartbreaking to watch that guy not be able to do that. That sucked. But Ash and I, whenever we worked alone and Roblox, we always came out of that challenge ahead.

Like we made up spots. We either came out second or first out of every single one of those. And whenever we did a challenge together, D2 were we always drop places almost every time. It was weird thing. We talked about it for a while afterwards. Like, why are you saying that?

You're better alone than together. We have to deal with how it was edited totally. Because I feel like that's the biggest risk because you made that. You're better alone than together. We have to deal with how it was edited. Totally. Because I feel like that's the biggest risk because you never know. Wait, that was your percentage. That's like a fear. You know, a big decision was for deciding to do the show who says worried about giving up the editing

and let somebody else. I think it's I know how television editing works, especially when you have hundreds of hours of footage at the very least for every episode. Because it's 11 teams times 24 hours. And so we knew there was a hours of footage at the very least for every episode because it's you know 11 teams times 24 hours and So we knew there's a ton of footage and they just you know they got to go with basically what the best story is and We were watching previous seasons of the amazing race and they went into a park and I I want to say was Germany Ashley keeps saying was in Japan and they went to a public park and they had statues in the park that were

nude statues and They blurred the new to the on the statues in the park that were nude statues and they blurred the nudity on the statues in the park. And I thought, okay, if they're going to blur nudity on statues, they're not going to try to catch me with my pants down. No, they're not going to try to do that. They'll help that for themselves. And the moment we started, I felt totally comfortable with them because some of those

people had been doing that for 13 years. I think they largely also try to position that show with like, something a family can watch together. It's probably the most, the other thing to you is like, it's probably the single most respected reality show in terms of the television industry. Like, there's a reason why it's won so many Emmys.

It's like, they have a lot of respect for the show they make. Where you from production staff, or the organization. I was on the show, I have no idea how the fuck they make that show. I don't know how they do it. It like those those camera men and the audio people there's just like Olympic athletes man They're like running around with like 40 pounds on their shoulder no big deal. They can outrun us easily They do yeah, they do easily they are outrun us like we tell them they say where you going? We said we're going down But two blocks and then we're gonna take a right. It's like I'll see you there takes the camera puts down

We said, we're going down, but two blocks and then we're gonna take a ride. It's like, I'll see you there. Takes the camera, puts it down, takes off like a rocket. It's like, what the fuck dude, we're like dying in the Colombian heat, but it was amazing. And they're all super dedicated.

All super dedicated to it is a show, but also super dedicated to it as a contest as well. Like if, I guess it's probably, I always assume it is because game shows are under such scrutiny in the US. And I guess technically at its core, it is a game show because there's a prize. They take the competition part of it very seriously.

Like the objectivity and the fairness of the competition, they take it very, very seriously. That's another but good thing to say about the people who work so much. I don't. So I've never received their assholes. I think I've watched every season of amazing grace, but one of the couples from this season, Colin and Christy,

they'd been on previously. Yeah. And I don't remember when they were on before. I want to go back and rewatch it. Obviously, it was a long time ago. They went deep, but they talked up, like one of the recurring store lines for Colin was how much he had changed since the first time he was on.

And whenever they were showcased clips from his first time on, he was just like super angry, losing his shit all the time. And this time he just seemed like the most calm, even keel guy, like he found inner peace. And he's just like, angry, losing a shit all the time. And this time he just seemed like the most calm, even keel guy, like he found inner peace. And he's just like, he, there's a couple of times, like I'm just, you know, really embarrassed.

I won't go back and I watch that footage. And it's like, I just, I just, I would just lose my cool. He's like, that's not me anymore. And he's just like so calm. But even when cool, it's really interesting how people change. Even when shit was going bad this season.

Down the core people could change. Yeah, he was absolutely, it seemed like a totally different person. So next week is RTX. Oh, this week. The next podcast RTX. Yeah, next. This coming week, Friday,

you wanna do it? You wanna do a game on that podcast? Oh, yeah, do you wanna do a game on the podcast? What? Do you wanna play a game? Do you wanna play a game on the next podcast? I'll play a game. It's always fun to play.

You're playing a game? Josh and Gabby, once you jump on and say hi, because you because you guys are in town you see you get John was talking around the edges of like people who are in town But people know Josh Gabby know good good here. Sorry. We have a little side car here Can say hello. Hi. Come say hi Say good day, man. Josh Gabby who were among the first ambassadors ever for RTX I'm not sure for doing that program this year. I'm not involved with anymore I'm not sure if they've continued the ambassador program, but you guys were the ambassadors for Australia.

For Australia, for RTX, didn't you, right? We were the first. It was like, we were like, your guinea pigs. You were like, we're gonna try to run something and we're gonna use you guys. That's how we describe using guinea pigs. And obviously we've labored the system for everybody and now no one gets to do it.

No, we've done it since. Come on, get out of here. No, yeah, they did it last year. So it's group where? So this year, that group broke it. Yeah, we wanted people from the community to have a chance to like come on and host. And that year you guys were hosting like everything

that we did from like center stage and streams and stuff like that. We did the interstitial switch as well. Like when they needed filler for people doing stuff on stage, they were like, get the Australians to run around and like interview people. And somebody who's never interviewed a person in my life, I like, I bricked it.

I was like, oh my God. No, it's not easy. You've probably watched many interviews. I'm pretty sure you did. That was it. I'm like, I know how an interview was meant to happen, but whether or not I can make it happen, let's see. We'll see how it goes.

That's how you learn to ride a bike. You watch someone ride a bike. Yeah. And then I get on the bike and I stack. You go to full off and then you figure out what you did wrong. We didn't have time to fall off. So I learned about interviews is, and it's tough when you're at an event,

we dealt with this when we did E3 is, you've got to put in prep work. Like you just can't like go in and chit chat. You've got to know who the person is, what they're doing, what they're working on, what they've done in the past. But then you also have to do all that prep work and have all your questions

and then listen to what they're saying and throw all that stuff out as soon as you get a topic of conversation that they're talking about. Otherwise, if you're just like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, next question. Yeah, you just have to have a normal conversation. Or you have to structure that information you have in a way that flows into the conversation. Yeah. But you guys just got back from E3, right? Yeah, oh, I did. He didn't get to go. Sorry. I didn't go. You're doing the, you're, you're doing the official cosplay for Gearbox. But yeah, I was the official Tyrene Calipso cosplayer,

along with Dan, who couldn't be here today. He was the Troy Calipso cosplayer. He's a lot of playing. Was it you who stole Greg Miller's badge? No. Please. I saw him in the street and I thought about rolling him just because it was Greg Miller, but I didn't actually Do you not do not say rolling you get rolls? Yeah, it's like do we what now? What does that mean in Australia?

Because you're like getting mugged. Yeah, you roll somebody there. Yeah, so don't don't anybody wrote They're role-playing Miller in public, but you can role-play Greg. Gabby knows him so she can do that Yeah, we're gonna hire some Greg Miller role-play for you next year. Gabby could pass off his Greg. Yeah. So Gabby, you're one of those people I know who's made the transition from having an online pseudonym to now, everyone I know refers to you as Gabby. Is that, are you going more about Gabby now?

I'm not going by Lucky as much. I took the Iron Man approach to online aliases. A lot of cosplayers start in the community and they're like, I don't want people to know who I am. I don't want them to know my name so that they can't find me kind of thing. And that's fair. It's like a safety thing. Whereas I was kind of like, I have this online persona, but at the same time, I'm like, it's always just been who I am anyway. So I'm like, if you want to call me by my name, like, go for it. That's totally fine. So I was just, I can't I came out and I'm like, I'm Gabby. I'm also lucky, cool. You figure that out great. Let's keep going.

Yeah. Gavin was super smart about that when he started out because his online name was Gavino. Yeah. You never know. You never know. I was like, I'm tired. Stuck a no on it. Never yield a figure.

This is funky dragon. So there you go. All right, guys, we work. We work with books, lives. Welcome to Austin. Welcome back to Austin. Hope you guys have a good time at RTX as we get. You have almost no responsibilities, right? Do you have a panel?

We've got one panel that's on the Sunday if people want to come see it, but no pressure. So just so you can enjoy it. Yeah. A lot of cold beer, barbecue stuff like that. Can't be excited. Yeah, you left winter in Australia to come to summer in Texas.

It's so sweaty. God bless you. Come to the side. Alright, well thank you. Thank you. Thanks, guys. Thanks everybody for watching. We're gonna wrap up here.

Done. Done. Alright, we'll see you, thanks guys. Thanks everybody for watching, we're gonna wrap up here. We've done it. All right, we're done. All right, we'll see you guys at RTX. Bye. Do you like apples? Alright, example. Together in Trempit hosts... Characans, Characans are free to deal with nothing to do with this podcast. Analyze various unsolved and rooster-teeths cryptic podcast, f*** face. Call to action.

Feel free to add something show-premise-specific, but short. Listen to show- name on Apple Spotify or wherever you get podcasts. It's f*** face, a podcast. Subscribe or no, you do yes?