Rooster Teeth Podcast - Financing a Toilet - #565

Episode Date: October 8, 2019

Join Gus Sorola, Gavin Free, Chris Demarais, and Barbara Dunkelman as they discuss the Pasta Pass progress, bathroom accidents, Airbnb, and more on this week's RT Podcast! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church, twisted metal, streaming now, only on Peacock. Oh, you're listening to Rooster Teeth Podcast number 565. If you hear something you would like to see from this episode, visit first.roosterteeth.com. Hey everyone, we're going to the Rusty Podcast this week brought to you by me and these ring and stamps.com. I'm Gus. I'm Gavin. I'm Chris. Barbara.

And Gus. Hi Chris. How's the video? Are you feeling better? Yes. I just had to hit a... Was it from the... Is it allian food? Was it from all the...

Is it all the... No, it's not from pasta. No, no, no, it's not at all from that. It's not from pasta. The pasta doesn't give you migraines or headaches. Yeah, but the lack of nutrients does probably... There's so many different options for me to get. It's not lack of nutrients.

So how many different options? Like the Alfredo sauce or the marinara? Well, yeah, with the chip of the pasta. No, no, no, no, no. There's a lot more sauce. There's, there's like garlic sauce, there's a mushroom sauce, there's a Alfredo, there's a marinara, there's a meat sauce,

there's a five cheese marinara. Five cheese marinara? Yeah, so how many times have you been? So far. Okay, I got stats. Yeah, let's get some stats. And why have I not been on one of those trips? Well, for those of you who don't know, Chris has received the pasta pass at Olive Garden.

Not received by the bar. He bought it for $100, which gives him unlimited pasta and soup and salad for nine weeks. So I've seen before he made you money back. Oh, yeah, definitely. I mean, he probably made it back in two days. Yeah, well, no, because a trip to all garden, if you know, based upon like what I was ordering was probably being like, you know, around 20 bucks,

a meal or something. He made it back pretty quick. After five trips you run. Yeah. It's impressive. I wanna hear these stats. I'm so curious. The thing I'm most curious about is what stats

is Chris keeping track of? Like what is he about to unload on us? He's gonna unload how many times he's been there, how many breaths, six, he's eaten, how many guests he's brought with him, how many meals he's had that haven't been all of Garden? These are all guesses by the way. No, that's pretty spot on.

Okay, cool. The number of guests I don't have tallied. But those are extra points, right? I had to wait until the numbers didn't come back from NASA. Yeah, what if I haven't listed? I just didn't add them up. What about total calories or average calories per visit? No, I don't know about that.

I don't count. I think we could probably estimate that ourselves. So, yeah, we can go back and like look at the menu and figure that out. So, I have been to to Olive Garden 12 times. It's been two weeks. Okay, that's less than I thought. Yeah, but I've eaten 18 meals of Olive Garden.

So you're taking stuff home and having the next day. Yeah, I'm having a lot. It's a lot of positive for breakfast. Yeah, I've had a lot of positive breakfast. That's so heavy, that's so like, well, it's not a good morning. And I have... Do I start your day with a nap?

Try all of Garden. And I have five meal penalties. Which are meals I purchased that were not all of Garden. Why do you have five penalties? A couple of times it's like a birthday lunch, you know, and then like, I was like out of town. You couldn't convince the person who's a birthday lunch. I tried. I tried. So you went to a place where there was no olive garden? Yeah, yeah. And like,

there was one time where it's like, I didn't have time. Like, it was a lunch on a weekday, and I don't have time to get to all of gardens. I just run and get something at B. I have left over to me. Did you eat pasta from HB? No, no, no, no. That would've been double meal penalty. Oh, is it double penalty? Yes, I didn't tell us that before. My favorite thing ever happened last week.

So we have a shoot day every week, usually on Thursdays that we shoot R2 shorts on. And we always get lunch delivered to the office so that we could, you just break for lunch, have lunch and then go back to filming. And last week, Chris is like, oh great, like lunch is paid for by the company, which means it's a free lunch for me, which is, it's not a penalty. We get lunch, it's fucking pasta. And he was like, no. On Friday, I asked him if he was sick of Olive Garden yet. He said, no, he still loved it. If you had said you were sick

of Olive Garden, I was going to ask them to bring Olive Garden in for our meal before I have the podcast today. Well, I actually pitched that to Eric sick of Olive Garden, I was gonna ask them to bring Olive Garden in for our meal. I have the podcast today. Well, I actually pitched that to Eric because then I get a free meal and it's like- A ton of bonus points. It's bonus points, yeah. Because it's like, then all of a sudden

I have all these friends coming. But I thought the point was you had to take people to Olive Garden. That's true. Well anyway, it's still a little bit an extra meal that didn't have to worry about. So what about white, If you notice any change. We have the scale set up in the same spot again. I can jump on the scale. So here's here's I'm proud of you for using the word scale this week

by the way. Well, you just said it. It's not a machine. Here's the thing is I have noticed this. I will say this. I'm skipping a lot of meals. Because you're still full? Well, it's a mixture of two things. One, pasta for breakfast really gets you, it's really, you know, last for a long time. So I'm not gonna tell you some more. It really solidifies into your stomach. But also, if I don't have time to go to Olive Garden

or I can't commit, then I just like, we'll skip lunch or, skip lunch, or not eat. So somehow this diet's getting worse the more you're talking about. Well, what do you mean, it's getting a loose weight on this channel? I'm gonna punch me. Well, here, yeah, and that's the thing.

I'm getting enough calories that you need. I may not be, but I mean, I'm still eating a lot. Are you being malnourished? Am I limited pasta past malnourishing? Blink once for yes. Well, I mean, I'm still eating, pasta past malnourishing you. Blink wants for yes. Oh, I mean, I'm still eating, but it's just like, I just like eat a lot like twice a day. Do you have any vegetables in your current

all of God and diet? Yes, I have unlimited salad. And then there's also a, there's also a vegetable option for like your like... Side? Yeah, entree. Or like your meatballs or a vegetable mixed vegetable. Do you get vegetables off of it? Yeah, I've been mixed.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm confused here. What are the vegetables replaced? Do they replace the pasta or the meatballs? The, no, it's still pasta. It's pasta and then a sauce and then like a topping, like a chicken or a shrimp or a vegetables. Um, okay.

So you get like three pieces of broccoli. There's three variables in your decision. So you get pasta, sauce, and instead of meat, you put vegetable on it? Yeah, sometimes. Okay, I'm just trying to make sure I understand. No, I'm not like the carrot alfredo. What's the name of that?

Yeah. But anyway. How many bricks do you do? You're holding on to this. Oh, yeah, yeah. So I, well, here I'll read Zach's stats too. So that you know, so he has 10 trips to Olive Garden, 13 meals and only three meal penalty.

So I'm ahead by three meals. Okay. And he also, he ended up coming to Austin and has been in Austin because he was having it's harder for him to get to Olive Garden. So he flew to Austin just so that he could be closer to an Olive Garden. What? How many Olive Garden locations are there in the world in the United States?

Well, here's the deal is for him and Uber, to and from the closest Olive Garden to where he lives, it was like a $20 Uber. So he was like, he budgeted it out and he's like, it's cheaper to get a plane, a plane flight to Austin and he just, and he showed up at my house and then was like, hey, can I stay with you? And I was like, okay, I guess. And, and I, because I live close to Nolvgard, so he can actually walk to Nolvgard. Did you not know he was coming?

He can't walk to Nolvgard. Okay. Well, he can drive, roll? He can't walk to an Olive Garden. He can drive, roll, scoot, whatever you want to call it. There are 892 Olive Garden locations globally. Yeah. So how much was this flight? I thought it was like a, it was like a, he got a trip to Austin. It was like 90 bucks.

Oh, oh, and then they return, a return flight was like nine, it was like less than $200, which would have been like a few trips of 10 years. Did any of the reason to be an Austin other than this? No. You all need help. I mean, there's something wrong.

He, I mean, it's also a counts as a, you know, he has like friends. Yeah, sure. So he's spending time here. So yeah, he hung out. Chris, oh, so are you standing back here on the number of breadsticks? We're talking.

I've had 23 breadsticks. That's not as many as I would have thought. That's what like to... To, per, trip. Sometimes I don't even, yeah. Well, like on the leftovers. Maybe I didn't add that up right. Yes.

And then Zach has had 43 and an eighth. That's more like it. And eighth, don't count it by the eighth. 43 breadsticks. Yeah.'t count it by the eighth. 43, breadsticks. Yeah. Some guy clearing up the table. Someone left seven eighths of a breadstick. Yeah.

Okay. So you got to catch up. Yeah, I'm way behind on breadsticks. 43, breadsticks. My god. How long would that be if it was one long breadstick? Well, big, it's a big, big old chunk of carb. How long can an olive garden breadstick be

before it snaps under its own weight? I don't know if you just hold the end. They're pretty soft. It depends on how fresh it is. You've had them before, right? They harden up, probably. After like, because they come out when they're hot, they're pretty soft.

You're good at them in your mouth, and they get nice and hard. Could we weigh you? Yeah, yeah. It's a two-week weigh-in. Yes, absolutely. But I want to give you... So, when Zach showed up, he hadn't been weighed in. So, I had to buy a scale.

I bought a scale, and then we figured out, in order to weigh him, I had to weigh myself and then pick him up and then weigh both of us together. Oh, because he couldn't. Because he couldn't tie on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He couldn't like get.... Oh, because he couldn't. Because he couldn't tie him on it. He couldn't like get, you know, because he couldn't stand on it. Yeah. When I weighed in that, whenever he showed up, it had been a week. And obviously scales vary somewhat.

I had lost one. I had lost one. I didn't want to hear that. I wanted you to get on this scale. Okay, okay. So, that was the, that was the, that was the week, all right? So Chris weighed in two weeks ago. There's also wasn't this scale.

This is the same, yeah. This is a little less than two weeks ago. A little more than two weeks ago. It was also wasn't this guy. This is the scene yet This is a little less than two weeks. You open a little more than two weeks ago to the day today Okay, then he was 147 pounds. I believe so I'm gonna guess it's gonna weigh 150 I'm gonna guess One like 52. I feel like Chris is never used to scale because he just goes and stands on it Well, he didn't know what it was called last time he was on I my mine I've always had you have to like punt the front. Right. Get it to like turn on. He's zero pounds. He's lost so much weight. You're looking good for that weight, Chris. I think he

turned it on with him on it. So zero to his own weight. Okay. So like what the fuck? Same weight. You only gained like half a pound, point six pounds. God damn it. So an olive garden breadstick is 10 inches long. Nice. According to this. Chris, you've gained half a pound in two weeks of eating nothing but olive garden. Did you wait. Did you have your phone and your shit in your pocket last time? No, I think I took it out. I'm pretty sure I take it off. Okay. No, I'm amazed.

Well, I guess it makes sense if you're skipping meals because I have balances it out. Also, it's funny because we were thinking about the same other day. We looked up on the Olive Garden website on their nutrition facts. And the stuff there's actually not that bad. Like I think Andrew mentioned that the Alfredo, the chicken Alfredo was like 4500 calories, and that's like not right at all. I think that's like the catering stuff.

Yeah, also I will say this, I'm way more partial to marinara than I am to like an Alfredo sauce. Is that healthier? Yeah. You say it's so definitively. I'm pretty sure it is. Also, you know, the cream based stuff tends to be a little worse.

Well, you know what? Blue my mind. I can't wait to hear was they have a gluten free pasta. And I and I got it once to try it. And I was like, it's got to be healthier, right? It's way, way less healthy. How so? How do you define less healthy? It had more saturated, I took a picture,

but I'd have to look, I don't know, it's like more saturated fats, more calories, more bad stuff, less protein. More bad stuff. Yeah, it was like way worse than I was. I think that's common for a lot of things that are like fat-free or sugar-free or whatever it is because they compensate for the flavors that they're losing fat for your sugar free or whatever it is because they compensate for the flavors

that they're losing by being fat free or whatever it is. So they compensate another unhealthy ways. Yeah. So I was like, I was blue my mind. So what are your dumps like? Well, so that's that's that's definitely there was a real question. Yeah. I mean, I've been waiting to ask that for like, yeah, yeah. Day three was when diarrhea hit. Um, God. Well, that's how you don't put on weight,

you shit in liquid. No, no, no, but, but, but, but it settled down. It was like a day or so, like, because I, it was like, but yeah, three or four days of just all garden. So that was like, not last Thursday, but the settled down. It was like a day or so, like because I, it was like, but yeah, three or four days of just all of Garden. So that was like, not last Thursday, but the one before. Yeah. Yeah.

And I think I texted Zach, it's like it is hit. Or, he'd warned me, he'd warned me ahead of time. Like whenever I got the pasta pass, I'll read you his text, he sent me. That's why you're team D'Amarinerah. Team D'Amarinerah. Hasheg. What's that again, Zacharoni?

Zacharoni. I can be one second. I already got it. Are you getting any fiber? Like is there any fiber other than maybe the vegetables and anything in all of Garden? Because that I feel like would really fuck up your shit. Literally.

Yeah. I mean, I don't know what is I don't know where fiber comes from. It's vegetables, right? Vegetables are like a lot of different foods. You can. Oh, there's also soup. There's vegetables in the soup. I can't have that.

So whenever I got the pasta past because I initially got it in Zactin, get it. He get the got the pasta pass, because I initially got it and Zach didn't get it, he sent him one. He said, that's awesome. You know, this is taking all my strength to be happy for you as that I know. And he said, you have to go every day. As we experience, the first few days will be nothing

but diarrhea. But after that, it will be the best nine weeks of your life. Diarrhea. Said no one ever. Because it's like your body has to adjust to only eating pasta. Poison? No, poison pasta.

Oh, gotcha. So yeah, there was like a day or two where I was a little worried. But then it was an ounce of solid. You good? Literally. I think about super size B, the guy who did McDonald's first. It was like a 30 day straight, right? Oh my god.

For every meal. And he had like doctors check him out before, during and after the whole process. Do you have anything like that going or someone's like monitoring the status of your heart health and things of that nature? I don't know. Someone, do you want to check my heart?

I don't know how you do that. I mean, I'm fine. At a doctor. I mean, I guess I could go to the doctor, but that's a lot of work. I guess I'll find something else. Maybe he's in any danger long time. I guess McDonald's is a different.

McDonald's a little bit. Also, I am making an effort to like very things up. Like, how so? Well, like they have a whole wheat noodle. You tried the gluten-free one, like you said? Well, no, not the gluten-free. They have a whole wheat and a gluten-free a gluten free the whole we have a gluten only All right for gluten

Just pile a dust to your point. I'm trying to eat like the grilled chicken or the veggies a lot instead of instead of like fried stuff Instead of like meatballs and fried shrimp. Are you still working out? Yeah, not I need to be better about it I just but busy. I'm just where you're gonna lose a lot of weight if you're not getting enough calories still working out? Yeah, not, I need to be better about it. I'm just busy. I'm just worried you're gonna lose a lot of weight if you're not getting enough calories and working out. Yeah, yeah. I, I mean, I'm, if I, I'm gonna start going to Jim or Regal again, because this is gonna become like a really good diet plan

for you. I'll be curious. I can't wait to see like the articles Chris is gonna write later like the Olive Garden diet. Yeah, a book. He's gonna come out with a book. Yeah. Man, when you're here, your family.

Anybody? Slight change subject. Anybody, does anybody ever watch Nathan for you? A TV show that was in Comedy Central? Yeah. That makes me really sad he would write a book about the episode where he set up the, that being a mover was a great workout. Yeah.

And he like, yeah, he created a fitness guru and had a fake book written and had him on all these talk shows too. So the whole premise of the show was he would help struggling businesses by giving them ideas. And there was one business that he wanted to help. It was a moving company. And they set that labor was their biggest overhead.

So his solution was that he would get free labor by making it seem that being a mover was a good way to work out. And they wrote a fake, like a fake book about working out by just lifting boxes and moving and then convinced people to go to the gym, quote, quote, quote, gym by volunteering for the moving company to move boxes around for them for free. It's a good workout though. That would be a good workout. But they had to write a fake book and the hired guy who was actually working out

to be the face for it. So you'll have to do that too, Chris. You'll have to write a book and then have someone else come out and be the face for it. Something strange happened today. It was cold enough to stand outside. It, I felt that was perfect. I took a phone call and I didn't come back in dripping with sweat. Yeah. I'll admit, I was a little disappointed this morning because, you know, I woke up and

I knew it was going to be cooler this morning and I woke up and I looked at my phone and the temperature said it was like 68 degrees outside and I was like,, oh, it's gonna be nice and cool out there. I was like, I better put a sweater on, I'm gonna go walk my dogs. I put a sweater on and walked outside. I was like, it's not cool enough for a sweater. It's not that cool, yeah. I was like, I'm gonna wear a long sleeve shirt today.

The amount of people wearing long sleeves today is a lot. I think a lot of people had that same feeling. But it was still, I've got the shorts on, so I still had the breeze. I didn't feel too hot. But it was still, I've got the shorts on, so I still had the breeze. I didn't feel too hot. But it was really hot yesterday. What happens, like, the middle of July yesterday, for some reason?

And then, by the middle of the week, it's gonna be like the middle of July again. And then on the weekend, it's gonna be fall. Our weather's doing this right now. Up and down, yeah. Still like a little wave down. It's gonna work this way down. Yeah, I was just a New York City in that weather was top.

Oh, it's nice. Yeah, it was like in the the low 60s mid 60s. I know what that means. The why are you using Fahrenheit? Cause I've lived here for eight years. You've lived here a long time too, dude. I just can never figure out. I'm not gonna be like, hey Gus, it's 35 degrees today.

And Gus is gonna be like, fuck you. Yeah, but do you have it set to Fahrenheit on your phone? So when we woke up this morning, it was 20 C. Yeah, it's quite nice. Yes. Not sweater with it. And in the 60s Fahrenheit is what, like the, the low tens, like 11, 12 degrees.

So 68 was 20. I can't believe this is faster. So it's faster. I switched to Fahrenheit within like the first six months of living here. I could have done that. I also switched to the whole way to compete. I switched to Fahrenheit within the first six months of living here. I also switched to... I also switched to... Everything about myself when I moved here. I stopped saying words a certain way.

Yeah, I feel like I switched to time stuff. But Fahrenheit is like 50 years out of date at this point. The rest of the world has stopped using it. And I just refused to take a step backwards. You're in part of the world that still uses it. I just... A stubbornness out of principle. I never do it. I was about to say I was about to say,

well, what side of the road do you drive on? And I was like, never mind. You don't drive. What do you use for your home thermostat? Fahrenheit. Interesting. Because of mech. Mm.

But I only know about, you know, between like 69 and 74. Yeah. I didn't know what that feels. Ooh, it's the most wonderful time of the year. It's Halloween. Get it? I was spooky. I was a ghost. I remember when planning your costume as a kid was like the most fun you could ever have free Christmas. Now that you're an adult Halloween feels less Halloweeny, you know, right? You can have fun again, picking out the perfect costume under your clothes, the spooky

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dressed up in a pumpkin costume. Like softer than brain zombies love to eat. No, it's probably no good, probably a little too far. Well, you get the idea, there are softest, there are the softest und, love to eat. I'm not, no, it's probably no good. Probably a little too far. Well, you get the idea. There are softest, there are softest on these, known to man, they're also available in sizes from extra small to 4x, a soft for all. Miendies has a great offer for our listeners and viewers

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I hate talking about dreams because they're a complete waste of time. It's almost like saying nothing, you might as well. Not even tell it. But I was in a hotel the other night. This was in real life and I had a dream where I really needed a poo. And for some reason I was like in the airport in the dream, and I was like, oh, that's the bathroom. And then you came up alongside me.

Me? Yeah. You were walking alongside me, and you were like, I really need a shit. And I was like, oh, but I really, Gus, I really need a shit. Can I go first? And then you just sped up. So I was like, I'm gonna run.

I'm gonna sprint, so I really need to go. So I just started sprinting and then you went into this abnormally fast, above human level speed. And I was like, no! And then I woke up needing a shit. And I was like, you're not here, Gus. I just went, you turned on the lights of the bathroom and I was sitting there. But I went, I was like stumbling's the bathroom in the middle of the night.

Just thankful that you weren't there. Cause of my dream. Was it one of those dreams that you thought was real for a brief moment even after waking up? I was just like, fuck. No, I was, I instantly knew it was a dream and I was instantly relieved that I could not have to hold in. Did you have to show when you woke up?

Yeah. Yeah, the first time I've woke up to take a dump in years. Did you have to shoot when you woke up? Yeah. Yeah, I was, the first time I've woke up to take a dump in years. Have you ever shot yourself in your sleep? Oh yeah, I did once, because I had food poisoning. Oh, that was another thing I sort of did. You shot yourself in your sleep?

No, no. What are you talking about then, dude? During the, during the, the, the, the, diarrhea? Adjustment period. Adjustment period? I like, like, did the, you know, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the Is that work? No. It was it was it was. No. No.

And it was like, and I say, as in like, it was like, oh, and that was, is a small thing, and it's not like I need to change clothing or anything. I like, I was like on it. Did you shop shank it out of your pants? No, it wasn't like that. It wasn't like that. It was like, it was like, it was like, it was like,

it was like, it was like, it was just like, it was just like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was just like, it was just like, it was like, oh, that's a little, like a little more wet than you thought. A little more wet and I'm like, so you're saying you just shot your cheeks, not your pants? Yeah, yeah, it was like, cause it was like, the smallest amount, but I was like,

oh, shut your cheeks. Yeah. On the subject of going to the bathroom though, yeah, at, on the subject of going to the bathroom though. Yeah, at, after Jordan's wedding, you might have heard this story, I don't know. I was at Jordan's wedding. Yeah, so it was a good wedding. Everyone had a good time.

I had a great job officiating. I got drunk, but not like super drunk. Just like a normal like into the wedding kind of a normal open bar wedding situation. Okay. And the I go home, go sleep, normal, I wake up and the other someone the guest, my guest to the wedding. someone. They guessed my guess to the wedding. This is a great story. No, you're doing awesome. My guess to the wedding was like, I can't believe you

pissed on the floor last night. Oh my god. And I was like, what are you talking? That's how I reacted. I said, what? I was like, she was like, yeah, you woke up in the middle of the night. I woke up because you were pissing on the floor. And I was like, no, I didn't. And she was like, yeah, you were pissing on the floor. And then I asked why you were pissing on the floor.

And you looked at me, confused, and then when finished in the toilet. And I was like, that did not happen. And then I checked the floor and it was wet. So I think I did piss the floor. You think? Someone told you you did. The floor was wet and you only think you did.

So wait, wait, wait, wait. So then did you clean it? Yeah, yeah, I cleaned it. Did it smell like piss? I smelled it. Yeah, I mean, it must have been pee. How is this so uncertain? I mean, I don't remember it at all.

But if you're cleaning, piss off the floor. It's all about your piss on the floor. I mean, okay, it's probably pee, I have, it's a piss floor. What area of the, what? So what I did, I just got up and just pissed on nothing. So I got up from the bed and walked to the bathroom door but I didn't open the door I just pissed on the carpet. Oh no I thought it was hard one.

Oh fuck. So it was like like basically right before you walk in the bathroom there's there's a I pissed the floor. So and then they they were like Why you pissing the floor? You stopped paying on the floor pissing the toilet and then went back to bed and had no memory of it So you were really drunk then I really wasn't you were maybe it was just really tired. I Maybe you have really alcohol made him really tired Yes, and drunk because I have it. it's not like I've blacked out. I have, you forgot you didn't remember this happen. I remember, I remember, I'm in the middle of the night.

I'm not getting out. No, but I remember everything about the night, I remember going home, I took off my clothes, put away my suit, like I was like, I pissed on the floor. Drank four gallons of water. Yeah, I mean, I think I just got confused. I don't know.

Was this in your own place? Yeah. So it's not even like a case of being disoriented or anything. Yeah. Like, I got up and went towards the bathroom. And that's what counts. Congratulations. Yes.

You did it. You did most of the work. I did. That's what counts. Have you ever pissed the floor? Anyone else? No. I don't understand that behavior.

I, because one time I, I, I, when I was a kid, I peed in an oven. I remember that, that's, I was trying to figure out who it was to be in the oven and I forgot that that was you. Yeah, how many wrong places have you pissed? That's all I really have recollection. But you didn't remember peeing on the floor, unless someone, someone had to tell him that. It could be an ongoing thing.

I have peed on the floor. That is true. I, this could have happened before. I would not have known.. I have peed on the floor. That is true. This could have happened before. I would not have known. You just have one area of carpet that's like really yellow. For some reason, my carpet gets pissed on it in the middle of the night sometimes. I think there's a cat or a dog that's breaking into my house that's pissing on the floor.

I pissed on the floor while I was on the toilet. Did you have a reaction? No. It found out. No, it just was a, it's just maybe like semi-ish, but the knob was the height where it went under the seat. The flow wasn't going down.

Oh, requisite to see. Oh, I see. Yeah, it just splashed off between the two seats and it went all over the door in front of me. I saw a video over the weekend of someone really drunk. It's like one of those public freakout videos on Reddit. Someone really drunk,

getting kicked out of a restaurant in the UK and standing there on the street and then pissed just shooting out of his pants. Like through the pants, and he really like reaches in and like pulls his dick out barely on the top and is just shooting shooting out like that's really he really had to go manage like it shots straight through the pants. I must be so convenient having a dick when you need to pee. I mean, there's also like negatives too.

Like it's everything through the toilet seat. I have an issue with my toilet. I thought you were seeing an issue with my toilet. I thought you were going to issue with your dick. Well, it involves my dick. So I got a little while ago, I got a nice bidet. You got one, right? Oh, I can't. Toilet seat. Mine broke though. Oh, really?

I had to get rid of it. Well, part of the, aren't you rid of it? I had to, it broke. The little nozzle that shoots the stuff was stuck out and it was going, ah. There's no warranty or repair. That sounds like a $20. It was a gift. Sorry. little nozzle that shoots the stuff was stuck out and it was going AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and I installed it, but it's great. I like it. It's nice, nice, warm heated seat and all that. Yeah. The only issue is the shape of my toilet

and after installing it, it kind of like pushes everything forward, you know? So it doesn't quite line up. So it doesn't quite line up. And so now whenever I sit on the toilet, my dick just kind of, like it kind of rests on the, yeah. On the porcelain.

On the porcelain, the part, not the seat part, but kind of like the bowl part. The bowl part, which I don't like. Yeah, I think the shape of bidet, or the shape of seat you have doesn't match the kind of toilet you have. No, no, it does match it. It's just Chris.

Because it doesn't, it doesn't. It doesn't. Chris, Chris, Chris, it doesn't. If it doesn't fit, it doesn't. Right. If it matched, you wouldn't be worried about your dick falling on the toilet. Well, it fits. Chris, Chris, it doesn't. If it doesn't fit, it doesn't. Right. If it matched, you wouldn't be worried about your dick falling on the toilet. Well, it fits.

It's just, it's just... Chris, it doesn't fit. I'm telling you right now, it is not fit. Take a picture tonight. I'll take a picture. Well, not with my dick in it. Not with it. Obviously not.

Well, how are we going to be able to tell what's wrong if your dick's not in the picture, Chris? How much of those asshole bog seats, the days? Well, they vary a lot. Oh, how much are they? Yeah. I find there's a follow up question like, how much do they suck or something like that says way forward?

I think they're arranged between like, you probably get one for like 250. That's a nice one though. Yeah. You get a shitty one like, like 50 bucks. Oh, okay. But like, I think like the top end ones are closer like 400 or 500.

When I renovated my house last year, I replaced the toilets in it. And the whole toilet. The whole toilet. I went down to like a plumbing store down in South Austin. And I thought, I want to see what the fanciest toilet in here is. So I was like, I walked around. They have like this store is he's got, it's probably, it's got toilets, if you imagine,

all the stage five filled with toilets, like that's how many toilets are in the showroom. Like, you see the toilet, like UV misting bugs thing. So I found like this toto toilet, it had, it had lights built into it. So when you came near it, they kind of like, came on and illuminated the floor to really dimway. It played music, it had a remote,

had a bidet built in. How much was it? $12,000. Oh my god. I was like, who pays $12,000 for a fucking toilet? That's what you fuck you, my name. I would then be trying to figure out, like what age am I going to be when I die?

How many times am I going to dump between now and then and figure out how much it's costing me every time I, it's shit in that only toilet. That is, that's a, that's a decent used car. It's like, are you gonna finance a fucking toilet? Meanwhile, there's like, there were like $80 toilets too, like on the other side of the room. Oh, we should get one.

No, this work by us $12,000 toilet. But it broadcast only is allowed to use it. Did you sit on it? I did sit on it. How was it? It was fine. I mean, it's not like sitting on a $12,000 toilet is much better than sitting on a normal toilet.

Yeah, I think it's one of those things where the price just does that and you don't see a ton. Like I'm sure a $500 toilet seat, but like a $1,000 toilet would be great. I think the cheapest toilet they probably had in there was just like a hammer. So you just make a hole in your ground. Maybe a shovel.

Do you dig with a hammer? You got to crack the floor. I think you made a shovel. I think you got to break the floor. And then you can shovel it out. A hammer and a shovel. Are you talking about smashing the floor of your bathroom? Yeah, okay Oh, no, not just like out

No, I've had an existing body Take all night. Yeah, especially in two little pieces first Oh, man Yeah, that's a it's ridiculous. So how are you enjoying it? A thousand. I did not get that toilet. I got a, what did I, I think I got a $300 toilet. It's totally fine. That's gotta be one of those things where,

like there's some level of rich, you know, where you have more money than you could possibly spend in your lifetime. So every time you're like, yeah, just give me the best one. Yeah, it's like, I slight when you've just used the cheats in the Sims over and over again, and you're like, I'll just get the most expensive bog, my things for the shower.

For no reason, otherwise, you know, other than it's just expensive. Yeah, I'm sure there's like, there's people who are just like, just get the most expensive one, right? Yeah. And it's like, then then the manufacturer will of course make one to serve that market.

Or just like, yeah, someone wants one to come. We got one! I always think about stuff like that that are like common objects that are so expensive to the point where it's like, there's like 0.0001% of the world that is able to buy this and like how that is even in the market. Is that is able to buy and then would actually buy? You're supposed to buying something that like with a 12 grand toilet,

you bet at living that house for a long time, what are you gonna do to take the toilet with you? I would take it. Really? Yeah. That's gonna cost more. If it's a cost of $12,000. So if you're the type of person,

if you're the type of person who's gonna spend $12,000 on a toilet, would you also be the person who you're like, I gotta take this with me. Well, that's the point I'm making is that I think people who have spent in 12-ground toilets might have a few of them, definitely don't care if they're gonna leave one behind. No one's like, I'm gonna save up for this toilet.

If I had a house where I bought a $12,000 toilet that I installed in that house, and then I went to go sell that house, I would include that in the price of the house. I would say like, it's an extra $12,000 on the listing because there's a fucking $12,000 toilet that I bought. The great condition, I mean, I shat on it a lot. It's still really good.

Up to the value of the place, big time. Oh, guys, I think the price on that toilet has come down since then. What is it now? I'm still trying to figure it out. It looks like it might be $8,000. Wow. What a deal. No, no, no, no, you're not. We'd be dumb not to. It looks like it might be $8,000. Wow. What a deal.

No, no, no, no, you're not. We'd be dumb not to. It's $10,400 now. Can you find a used one? A second-hand shitter. Is it on Amazon? That's a good question. Let's find out.

Amazon. Remember I tried to find the most expensive thing we could get shipped on Prime on Amazon once? OK, total. We also look at the heaviest thing you can ship. Right. It's like a four ton blade or something. What? Lave. Face it late.

Late. What? Like a piece of machine machining. Oh, what is this? I think I found it for cheaper on Amazon with free shipping. How much? It's okay. I think they have it for cheaper on Amazon with free shipping. Oh. How much? It's okay. I think they have it used here, Eric.

New from $9,500. Used $71,7960. All right. $71,179. $67,179.60. So you're buying something that other people have shattered. Or it's like a dip like that. Or they bought it and then decided not to. What if we just have a whip? $1.60. So you're buying something that other people have shatter for seven grand. Or they bought it and then decided not to.

What if we just have a whip round here and you can just sign up. And if we get like 50 people to sign up, we all split the cost. Just only those 50 people can take dumps. I like that. I think we should do that. So $10,000 divided by 50 people is $200 bucks a pop. I'll do it. I'll fucking, I'll drop 200 bucks to use that toilet work.

You pay $200 to poo at work. But like, but you gotta get, you get to get, you get to get 50 people in on that. And it's gonna be a fucking line. 50 people, if you need a quick dump, you're gonna be like, I wanna wait for my, 30 people are gonna be lined up for that one toilet. Not everyone. And where would it go to? There's like, obviously, where we were. There's a lot of people who are gonna be lined up for that one toilet. Not every one. And where would it go, too?

There's like, obviously, where we were. There's a lot of people though that shit in the morning or at night, not necessarily during the day. So not, I don't think all 50 people would use it every single day. Wait, you put it in your office? Oh yeah, I'm not gonna walk for it. But more people work over here.

I don't care. That's their problem. Why do you get to decide? Cause I just said so. I was the first person to say it. But it was my idea. Well, you have to decide? Because I just said so. I was the first person to say it. But it was my idea. Well, you should have said something. Damn it.

Yeah. So it works. Man arguments aren't what they used to be on this podcast. Damn it. So you toe neo rest. NX to dual flush toilet is 13,000 dollars says Pete a hate. It was a total neo arrest I was looking at. I don't know if it was that one.

The NX2 dual flush. I was looking at a 750 I think. Dual flush. It might be the kind of has a light flush and then a heavy flush? Yeah, like the poo would pee, but the first time I ever saw that was in Israel. That's very.

Like it's like two buttons on the toilet, one smaller, one's bigger. Yeah, I mean, I hadn't seen that. I had never seen that until I went there. I'd never seen one in America or Canada until that. I wish I know they have them there. I've seen them in America plenty of times. Like I know it tells all the time now.

I have a toilet. I feel like all of the ones that you have to buy in Austin, I think you have to install one of those now. Because the one I ended up getting has that and I fucking hate it. I think you have to buy an Austin. I think you have to install one of those now. Cause the one I ended up getting has that. And I fucking hate it. I never, I never use the light flush. Why?

What if you just do a wee? It doesn't work. The water comes back yellow. You have to hold it down more? I don't know. I know it didn't flush right? I still see some. You just have the most saturated piss

that the hot flush doesn't get rid of it. It's like, it's like, it comes out like gel. My half flush doesn't get rid of it. It's like I can it's what comes out like gel. My half flush doesn't work well either because it looks like it flushes, but then you come back later to use it and it smells like piss. Right. That's why I never use I never use that function. Yeah. I've been trying not to flush as much.

Go on. But I mean, you don't need to flush when it's on your cockpit. Or when you're diarying at work. No. I like when I'm just peeing, I'm trying to be more environmentally conscious. So if I pee and I'm like, eh, it's not like, if I'm hydrated, it's not stinky.

So I'll just wait till I'll pee a couple times and then I'll flush. How many how many times? Depends on the pee, like piss stacking. Yeah, yeah, it depends on my house, how hydrated I am. If I'm hydrated, then I'll flush. How many times? Depends on the pee, like piss stacking. Yeah, yeah, it depends on my house, how hydrated I am. If I'm hydrated, then it's fine, but if it's like, if I'm dehydrated,

then I'm like, I'm gonna flush this. Are you doing that at work? No, I don't do it at work, because it's only at home. I don't give you those eyes, Barb. I flushed it, I flush. I'm just thinking, yeah, but sometimes, Chris, sometimes you don't put the seat down. I know, but I've been trying to be better

about that. You mentioned it, and I have been thinking about it. I appreciate that. Yeah. Wait, so you caught him leaving the seat up? Chris is somehow in an office full of, how many, we have like 10 or 15 dudes in there? Chris is the only one that leaves it up.

Which is like equally impressive though. You were leaving it up. And it's impressive to me that everyone would put it down. I was actually like shocked. I'm pretty married for 13 years. Yes, I understand you need to think. And I see, I'm like, Trevor, I always put this thing in. I just see no need to pull the seat up.

Well, because you sit down. Because, I mean, but why don't you sit down? Oh, well, because that way, you never have to clean splashes, and it's always down already. You don't have to touch the toilet. I don't want to sit down to pee. Unless you ever have to.

Yeah, what? Because, well, one, you're dickrest on this, and only if it doesn't, and it's gone over there. And two, and two, well, I don't want to sit on the toilet seat if I don't have to, because what if it's like dirty and I have to clean it?

What if it's clean and you don't have to clean it? I don't know, I still want to sit. I don't want to put my butt on places where people put their butt more than I need to. So how do they do this? Do you just squat above the bulk? No, I do do it, but that's not... You're sitting at work, Chris.

That's, I sit when I need to, but I'm not gonna necessarily sit. You know, the toilet seat's actually fairly clean. For it fairly, I'm not saying it's dirty, but I'm just saying, I don't want to put my butt places where other people put their butt if I don't need it. But I also, I don't pick up food

and put it in my mouth with my butt. Like, I'm not using my butt for clean things. Like, fair point, fair point. Fair point, under butt is got some other people's butts on it. You things. Like, fair point, fair point. Fair point, but it's got some other people's butts on it. You have a shower, it's fine. Also, it's like, it's just touching other people's also under butts, which haven't touched anything.

Like, unless you shit your cheeks as you did before. Oh, shit. Yeah. That was one time and that was a very small amount. Good call, Barbara. Chris, keep standing. This absolute receipt podcast is brought to you by Ring. Ever wonder how many people actually pass your door

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Yeah. It's okay. That's what you should be doing. And you put it in the shower. I do put it of the Roostee podcast. It's okay. That's what you should be doing. And you put it in the shower. I do pee in the shower all the time. So you'll, you'll, one, you'll have flushed pisses, smell, but you still pee in the shower. Yeah, because it goes down the drain. And then I don't smell it anymore because it's gone.

It just feels gross. Do you still keep washing yourself as you're peeing like, or like washing your hair and you're like pissing or do you like, I mean, like, stand mean, like, how long do you think my peas are? They're like, like 15 seconds. So you don't, you stop them, and you just pee. Yeah, I'll just like pee and kind of let the water run, and then like, I'll keep washing. I wonder if it's more wasteful to do that and waste the water of the shower versus a toilet. Probably. Question for you guys, you fucking insane psychopaths.

Are you literally every second of your shower washing something? There's never a moment you're just enjoying the water or staying there for a second. Correct. I'm in it now. The second you get it, you're just like, yeah, I'm not. I better race when I'm not wasting time. Yeah, if I'm not clean, I don't just like stand under it. You don't like do this for like two seconds.

No. Or just like not in a shampoo, because if like, rain thing stuff off of you, you're just letting it wash over you gently. No, I'm like, boom, bam, get it done. Fucking psychos. I thought you got to get, yeah, we're gonna psychos.

You're gonna stop the day? Yes. You're not numbered. Biopunch is psychos. This is notnumbered. Buy a bunch of psychos. This is not a good. It's like a crazy person. Everyone else is crazy. Well, we've done multiple polls about it.

I think most people still pee in the shower. I think sometimes close, yeah. Sometimes if I want to chill out, I will take a cheeky little bath. Okay, which is, I would say even more filthy than being in the shower. I'm not peeing in the bath. I know that, but you're like soaking in your own filth.

And then you're not rinsing it off. No, I do rinse off, because my bath doesn't have a thing, a shower hood. Yeah, so go get out of shower anyway. Well, if I do all the... After your bath, you'll take a shower. Just a rinse. Oh, that's hot.

So you're not washing yourself in the shower. I'm rinse enough with a shampoo and shit. But we're very smug. Takes a sip of her beer. A lot of people in chatter with me. I'm just saying, you guys are three of them. I mean, I don't think it's evil or anything. The piano showers just me and Trevor both.

And we both we will not at the same shower and we don't shower together but we'll do this thing because I could see the shower from the sink and he'll do this thing where he's just like just don't look for a second because I'm peeing right now and I'll be like okay. Because you don't want to see piss coming out of his penis. Right. I think that's a step too far. Is it? I think so.

Do you, I saw when you would never pee in front of each other, like you wouldn't leave the door open and sit down and pee? Not to a point where you could see each other. I've left the door open when I'm peeing, like, he could hear me, I don't give a fuck, but it's just like the seeing it, I think, is a little different. Yeah, I don't wanna see pee.

I always thought you were all about like, just take a dumps and... That's my ammo. Yeah, this is my armor. I always take taking dumps. You know her. No, I mean like it. That kind of stuff I don't do in front,

like we don't do it in front of each other, but like we're very much aware of when that's happening. You're aware of it, you like signal? No, we just like tell each other, like, all right, I gotta go poop. You can hear the grunting? No. No, we close the door for shit.

I'm always pretty secretive about mine. You sneak off? Well, like, if I'm like with a, you know, a significant other female... What about it? Because you had a pretty long relationship a while ago. Even in that one, you guys were pretty secretive about it? I mean, I wasn't like... Yeah, I mean, I never talked about it, because you had a pretty long relationship a while ago, even in that one, you guys were pretty secretive about it? I mean, I wasn't like, I mean,

I never talked about it and I was like, you see that for the podcast. Yeah, well, it's just like, it's a weird thing to be like, I'm gonna go over here and like, poop. I don't know, it's like not sexy. We don't have to be sexy around someone 24 hours a day, dude. That's exhausting. I know, I'm just saying, I wouldn't hide it at a certain point.

Right. But it was definitely something I like talked about. Wouldn't be like, I'm gonna go do do, you know? Like, I would just... Yeah. I'm gonna go do the do do do. I'm gonna go destroy the toilet, be right back. Yeah, I mean, I think at first, like,

when we started dating each other and that was happening, it would just be like, I'm gonna go destroy the toilet. Be right back. Yeah, I mean, I think at first, like when we started dating each other and that was happening, it would just be like, I'm gonna go use the bathroom for a bit. Right. Like you wouldn't actually fill out being like, I'm gonna go drop a load. So, BRB and 10. We ain't.

But now that's what we definitely do. It's taken some time to warm up. Which I think, like, if you're in a long enough relationship, that happens. Right. Yeah. You, if you're in a long enough relationship, that happens. Right. Yeah. You realize that you're dating an actual human being or you're with an actual human being.

Right. And I never agreed with the whole like, oh, there's got to be some mystery. It's just like, no, dude, this is the person you're spending all your time with potentially for the rest of your life. Like, you got to just be a human. And if that jeopardizes the relationship in any way, like... If taking a dump jeopardizes the relationship. Yeah.

You got some really bad dumps. I don't know if that's the good person. You can't change a diet. You gotta change your diet. Oh. Someone just called me fat turd dump-o-lan. Oh. I like it. Oh. Fart jump over. I'm going to jump over.

I'm going to jump over. I'm going to jump over. I'm going to jump over. I'm going to jump over. I'm going to jump over. I'm going to jump over. I'm going to jump over. I'm going to jump over.

I'm going to jump over. I'm going to jump over. I'm going get to it that in a second. And it affected me so much that I dreamt about it that night. It was on Saturday. I'm gonna tell you the dream first. It was Gavin racing you. That's right. Uh, I dreamt that we were on set, we were on a location, and we were gonna be filming something.

I don't remember who specifically was there, but I know it was like Rooster Teeth people were there. And, you know, we were getting ready that there was someone else was filming in a room, like we had rented a house and we were going to be filming in like the living room. But somebody else was filming in there first before us. And then they were about to break down and leave. And then we were going to go in and film. I was like, okay, so, you know, we're all just kind of waiting out in the hallway to go in.

The other people get out and leave. And Judge Judy walks out with them. And I'm like, that's kind of weird. So then we walk in and it's a living room with like a fireplace and stuff. And then whoever it is, it's in charge. Like, all right, everyone, we need to get set.

We're gonna be filming a Judge Judy episode in here later. And I was like, what the fuck is going on here? And I woke up and the reason I was thinking about that is earlier in the day, I had read that people in the judge Judy audience, like when you watch that show, they all have to be members of the screen actor's guild. That they don't let, like, they're all sagged. They're all sagged members.

They don't let just anybody go in and sit in the judge Judy courtroom. You have to be a sag member to be in it. So obviously I texted Eric immediately and I was like, you have to get me on Judge Judy. You have to submit a three minute demo reel or an audition tape. Are you, of you just sitting there? To be on the Judge Judy show. So I was like, Eric, will you please film me and help me make a three minute audition tape?

So I can be on Judge Judy. So I was thinking about it all day Saturday. And it got to the point where the text is my mind. And I was dreaming about it. It was like 11 at night. And I got a message from Gus, hey, I want to be in Judge Judy. I have to be sad. Can you help me film a three minute video?

All right. Yeah, because you are saying you and SIG. I haven't seen it. Oh, this is great. We're going to film this video. We're getting you back there. Can we double up? I'm in it, too Let's do it. Yeah, we'll submit you to why why do you need airite to help you make a video? You can't because we can like film BTS stuff and have it be like a thing for the podcast They were constantly updating and like it will be a bit

I don't need to record it now. Let's put three minutes on the clock. I don't know what I'm prepared my material. Yeah, you have to look interested Oh court it now. Let's put three minutes on the clock. I don't know what I'm prepared for my material. Yeah, you have to look interested. Ooh. And what we, if we do it, you should actually go to, you should go to an actual courtroom and then be like, you did research for the role. Yeah, yeah, like a case study and, you have to practice this face a lot. Because I've seen that on a lot of episodes. We can go to the Capitol and not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Actors who like have actually done stuff like they a little sit there and take direction and be quiet or Whatever they need them to do if you've done enough work as an extra do you get sag? Or is it only like if you've been enough productions? Yeah, okay, even if you had no lines or anything like that I Don't know the specific rules. I had to join because I was on just too many things that was sag. Yeah, like at midnight and Tonight show That's what pushed me over the

edge. Yeah, being on that minute. I don't want to be in second. Yeah, you get forced into it, right? You do eventually. If you do not, I got a letter after we did at midnight. That was just like, you're almost there. And I'm just like, fuck, now I have to be in nothing

else. Yeah. And then if you go in something else that is like, Hey, you want to pay thousands of dollars or not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. I mean, it's completely, it, you want to pay thousands of dollars? It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. I mean, it's completely, it, how's it not that bad? I mean, what is it?

But then, but then. It's a tenth of a toilet. It's a tenth of a toilet. And then you get to be on Judge Judy. And you get residuals. Sure. Yeah. So it's nice to get a,

do we do that, do the, do the extras on Judge Judy? I don't think they do for this. I don't, I don't. Every time the air that bought the extras on judge. I don't think they do for this. I don't, I don't do that. Every time they air that. But the wrong thing on eBay episode. I'll do that. Wow, wow, wow. It is funny to get in like a $12 check

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Ya, so, that's like, that was my obsession. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No última hora, gracias a tu próximo viaje. ¡Ya! ¡BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM audience member and I try to get on Judge Judy, like some petty submitting a case. Yeah. Who left the toilet seat?

Who peed on my carpet? You owe me $200 damages. Oh, it would really be. Yeah, you got to start a beef with someone. We should, uh, we should do that first. Easy. Yeah. I got an idea. We'll make a series out of it. Easy. Yeah. It's an idea.

We'll make a series out of it. Right. So if you get on that show, do they just shoot a bunch of episodes in a day? I think they shoot two or three in a day. See they had like a, they had all the information online. I bet you're right. I think it said that shows been on since 1996.

It's too long. It's a long, it's a long, fucking time. You do think that we'd have done all the cases by then. How old is Cheshire? Because they started in 96, and they're still going. She's still? 76. She looks the exact same.

Yeah, she does. Which I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. Like if she looks 76 when they started. It's not great. If he looks at her first appearance, she doesn't look the same. Judy 1996. You can't really tell because it was like

standard death back then. So it's hard to tell. She just blurs. It's hard to tell. Holy shit. So this is like 8K TV's coming out. Yeah. When will this end?

It doesn't. I mean, eventually, it'll just be like film, right? Or it's like, no one's counting the grains in film. You can't deliver that via digital. Well, I mean, at some point it's going to be a number high enough where that's not what they talk of anymore. It's like, oh, 32-bit gaming system. No one gives a shit about how many bits

your gaming system is now. Or even like on cameras, like really people don't care about megapixels anywhere, like, yeah. So it doesn't matter. 8K must be the last one where like that. I thought 4K was it. I think 4K is solid. I mean, even some movies aren't even shutting 4K.

Yeah, we're still largely living in a 2K world. We bitch about this all the time. And if you think about it, I think maybe a lot of people don't realize that 8K is not double the number of pixels in a 4K frame. 8K is four times the resolution of 4K. Yeah, because it's eight horizontally. If you can get four, right.

Or eight vertically. Well, 8K HD would be like 7, 6 something. Well, like 4K is 3.8K and you HD, in it. Cause 3840 by 2160. Yes. In it. In it. Yes.

3840. Alright, because they do that way. 3840 20. What's I see what you're saying? The K is just a horizontal right. Why do they switch to that because it used to be 1080 we used to do vertical I mean we have a tiny ten any was to at least like a Skinny a 2k isn't it so it's still like 2k top across the top right But why don't we switch we do it we weren. Yeah. But I think if I was gonna predict above 8K, I don't think they'll be selling on resolution anymore. I don't think,

even if screens become higher resolution than 8K, I don't think they'll be like, oh, by this 10K TV. I don't know if any actor would want to appear on a fucking 8 or 10K TV. You'd look like shit. Yeah, well, that is the thing. Like a lot of like whenever things went to HD,

a lot of like local news and just like things, they had to like change how they did their makeup. Yeah. Yeah, I spoke to a guy who went to his mad that he had to wax his hands for HD. He has that to do it. Like on the knuckles or like on the, just like I guess like around here.

I, I guess yeah. I've got, I've got to hear. Like on the knuckles or like on the, just like I guess like around here. Oh, I guess yeah. I've got, I've got hairy hands. Yeah, like you would be, I'm a prime candidate for waxing. Although my favorite thing about Gus is that, like this right here. You have this nervous habit of chewing on your skin. You see I'm a little ball pet.

And you have a little ball pet, yeah. And there. You chew on your hands. Yeah, see I bite the hair. Like a puppy. Yeah, it's really thick. I've worked up right there and right there. Like a puppy. So you receive me like that. That's what I'm doing. Oh, we had a close up.

Where was it? Not. Bam. Is that one? Yeah. Right. This is what we're talking about. That's Harry country. And this is the ball patch. I don't know. I do. I remember getting into an argument with, um, with Brandon way, way long time ago, because he was saying, like, why are we making new porn? Oh, God. And this, this, this, do you remember this? I feel like Brandon's here.

This is such unbranded for Brandon. And I was like, why do we, why, like, why are we making new porn? It seems like there should be enough porn film that like, it's enough for- We'll satiate. Yeah, like how much porn can one person- Why porn? Why didn't apply to movies?

It's like, oh, that's loads of movies. Well, I think there's like less variation in narratives and- I think you're looking for a number of things that probably already exist in movies. Yeah, it's like just variations of the same thing. I wish I could have a kind of movie. But anyway, and part of the thing was I was like, well, it's a result.

Like if you go look at porn from, you know, 1995, it looks like, but. Well here, let me, let me, I have to go to use for that. Well, they should just rescan some of the old negatives that was shot in film, like 70s. Well, so that, yeah. That would probably HDFI these days.

Yeah, but like, I also trying to make a flipbook porn. So I decided to look on porn hub. To see, it's for work. To see what like hot porn videos in the United States right now. Hot step-bat, baby sits disobedient nephew. Ha ha ha ha ha. Big booty twins team up on step-brose huge cock. So that's why it's all incessed stuff now. It's all incessed stuff.

But yeah, but only by- Hahaha. But not by blood. Not by blood. Well, I know that not that they'd be by blood anyway, because it's fictional, but the story wise is never like- Come in my panties and pull them up during family dinner It's only in for it's not naked

Why during dinner why during oh well because you know it's a family affair That's a good one that's really good. Thank you, guys. It was really funny. Thank you. I've been honing my skill for many years. Okay, that's enough of that. I had, there have been things towards like, you're like, click on a thumbnail because you're like, like, the thumbnail. And then the storyline starts and you're like, oh, this is weird.

You know, it's like, you know, you'll like Chris. Let me give you a little, and there's a website, porn website, where if you hover over, it's probably a lot of them do it. You hover over and it shows you like kind of the sequence of what it does. Like what happens in that video. Yeah, yeah, that's porn hub. It's also ujiz.com.

Ujiz. Is another one that does that. Do you use a different porn site than porn hub? Yeah. Ujiz. Ujiz. Every now and then, I'll like change it up. You just another one that does that do you use a different porn site than porn hub? Yeah, you just you just Every now and then I'll like change up. It looks like but like five-minute content But yeah, let's look you just what's popular on you just Was one of those the same stuff or not? Yeah, it's like while this video is trending on all the major networks

behind the husband. Okay. My favorite. That's my favorite one. Okay, this is a family one in Spanish. What does it say? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Uncle consoles his niece who broke up with her boyfriend. Another family. What?

I don't understand. Her shaped pussy makes a dick disappear. What? So I'm done. I'm done, that's it. Ta-da! Uncle, I have a magic trick. Oh.

Just nod into that. Like, why is it, why is it, oh. It's like, like, like if you're horny, you might be like, yeah, I'm into this. I think you might be like, you're like, you're like, you're like, just reading it. You're like, I don't want any of this. It's like going to Olive Garden when you're not hungry.

Yeah, baby. I'm like, a dad, but I'm like, that dick disappear, she girl. I love pretending I got no dick. Okay, anyway, let's talk about something else. What? What are your friends are interested in, yes? I saw a video earlier today.

Was it an AK? It was not, it was security camera footage. It was at a hair salon in New Jersey. Oh, there's like, the camera's just like pointing in the lobby and you can see like a guy getting his hair cut There's the barber cutting his hair. There's a woman waiting out like in the lobby sitting on a couch Seems like a normal hair salon Every day thing and then all of a sudden a deer jumps in through the window jumps over the woman on the couch starts to run around this salon the man starts screaming like crazy

And then like the deer causes a bunch of damage and then just runs the right back out. And the woman sitting on the couch, is like dumbfounded, like she stands up. Like I can't imagine how you would react, a deer jumps over you, she grabs her coffee and stands up. It's like looking.

Like a little dirty. Right. Yeah, I've seen this. Common place for deer? I don't know. But I also watched the end of the clip and the woman who is in there just starts crying. Really?

You do watch to the end? I guess I didn't see that part. I was like, ah, like, ah, try to get it out and then it goes out and then it just caught cod cuts to like a few minutes later. She's like, I didn't see that one. I guess it scratched a business. Yeah, also just like fucking scarring.

Like I'd be fucking terrified if that happened to me. What if it turned out it was from a rival barbershop? And like that would be a great crime. No one would be able to, how would you quit? Yeah, you can't pay a day. All right, are you ready to execute on operation? I would say, like,

no one could be it. I would have gone gotten Operation Buck Wild. Oh, that's good. That's good. Because like knowing if you're like, no, it's definitely the rival barber shop. And you're like, no, it wasn't. It's a deer.

I have no control over animals. But if you had trained a deer to go in. Here it is. No one ever suspects a deer. Oh shit. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

It like smashed. That was so close to hitting that woman in the head. It clear. I think it looked like a hitter. I think it does hit her. But yeah, she just goes back and grabs whatever she was drinking. Oh my god. Yeah, this the woman there.

Ah. And it's still in there. It's still in there. It's like, oh, that goes out a different, it goes out the door at that time. What do you think that deer thought? Right, it was like, I've never seen it. Did you know deer was running at a deer,

like the reflection of itself, and it just went through? Oh, that's interesting. Well, maybe it was just a car outside the skit. I think it was probably just kind of freaking out a little bit. Holy shit. That's intense. Imagine it would be like if you were sitting here right now,

and then all of a sudden the deer jumped in from over behind and made a real content. That'd be great. I love security cameras. Imagine all the stuff that we missed out on when they didn't exist. You guys get a lot of good stuff from the achievement on our office on your little camera in there. Yeah. I mean, that's out of the ordinary. That's not a normal room. Oh, yeah, of course. When we were still down at the studio,

down south at the old location, we had security cameras. And I remember one time I called our security company over because I said I wanted to upgrade our cameras because I thought, if something funny happens, our real app was pretty good. We had that conversation, so we should have HD one. Right, and this is before you could buy cameras yourself to do that kind of thing.

So I called the security company over. Now it's like, I want to replace all the cameras with HD cameras. They're like, okay, yeah, we can do that. So and I want them all to capture sound. And I guess like, here's like, oh, no, we can't do that. Like that was where they draw the line. Like they couldn't install that kind of system. Even though any home security system has that, I have no idea. I was like, you can't install a camera.

Then capture HD video and we'll also capture sounds. Oh, no, no, we can't do that. So I think we ended up not doing anything. It was like, no, we just keep the shitty cameras. I also remember you, he was really struggling to get anything in HD, too. You were like, I want HD and then he gave you a quote, and it was all SD stuff.

And you were like, well, we already have that. I want an HD. Yeah, that's exactly what happened. This was back. What have been 2012, 20, he must have been like 2012 or so. It's crazy. I guess technology's come a long way since then maybe. Yeah, now it's sound now with sound now in HD. That's always a, I mean, it sucks. I guess like storage is always a concern and just making sure that everything runs all the time. I mean, you have to I guess like storage is always a concern and just making sure that everything runs all the time. I mean, you have to keep everything.

Right. Yeah. Because most of the systems don't they like save it for like a week and then they delete it? Yeah. Yeah, unless you like pick something out and save it. Oh, oh wow. Yeah, you could say clips and stuff like that.

How do you get a deer out of a building? What is the correct way to do that? I think just get out of the way and wait for it to find a flat. You open the door and let it out. That's what I do whenever I get a bug in my place. I just like try to guide it towards the window or the door. And then I'm just like point. Even though the point for the bug and just like,

well, it's more for like my own mental sake. I'm just like, there go. The other day, I'm hesitant to tell the story, but I'm gonna tell it anyway. The other day, I was, I was at a get together with this person I know. You got together with someone? Yeah. I'm not gonna get into this specifics because I'm gonna badmouth someone that was there. Do we know this person? No, you don't know this person. So who cares? I was at this person's house and there were some people in you there and then some people I didn't know. And there was one person there I didn't know who was wearing a baseball cap. And the baseball cap said, this is my adulting hat. And I was looking at this person,

you know, I wasn't sitting by him, he was sitting like in another part of the house. I was like, that person owns that hat. Like not as a joke. Right. And they put it on to come out to this get together and they're wearing it, and I'm looking at it right now.

That's working. And I couldn't stop staring at it. I was surprised you didn't come up and ask me what my problem was because I was staring at him all night because I was so annoyed by his stupid hat. Did you ever say anything to him? No. You should have been like, I like your hat.

But I don't. Let's break it down. What do you not like about the hat? I don't like the break it down. What do you not like about the hat? I don't like the term adulting You're like someone wearing a funny hat and I don't Hat wasn't funny. I mean like you're like a bad joke funny joke hat I guess maybe not no, it's not serious hat. It's the hat that he thinks is funny Yeah, maybe that was it maybe I don't like that kind of joke.

And I was embarrassed for him. I always get confused because they make a lot of those parody hats based off the make America great again hat, the red hat. I see a lot of parodies of just like clearly people who are not in that support group. That's the wrong word for it. Who aren't who don't support Trump, but they still wear that hat, but it says something else like, make Austin weird again is one of the hats that I've seen where it's red. But it's like most people from afar are going to think

it's that hat. Right. And they're going to associate you with that group. And I feel like those people probably wouldn't want that, but they're still wearing that hat even though it's a joke. I mean mean some people wear the actual hat ironically But at that point there's no way of knowing yeah, yeah, like Like a our old friend Bernie RIP used to say There is no doing it ironically once you're doing it. You are doing the thing. Yeah There's no distinction between that. Yeah, so how much for you to Get a hat that says this is my adulting. So how much for you to get a hat that says,

this is my adulting hat and where it for you? No. How much for you to let us for one podcast, purchase your wardrobe? I'm trying to think how bad this could go. That just sounds like a good bit. I don't think we should pay that. I think it's a great thing. just sounds like a good bit. I think we should pay for that. I think it's a great bit.

I think we should all arrange everyone else's wardrobe. We should pick names out of a hat. Okay, and that person gets to pick that person's wardrobe. Right. I like where this is going. We should absolutely do that. I think I hear Eric shuffling paper. Are we writing this down?

I'm getting stuff going. Okay, but if I pull your name, I have to buy you an outfit. Yeah, but it could be anything. It could be anything. That was it. This is like a dolphin hat. That's exactly what it looked like. That's exactly what it looked like.

He's probably just like a fun dad's just trying to be a bit of fun. Yeah, is this a dad? Is it someone who has kids? It's a pretty dad. I don't know anything about him looking at him. He was there With a woman and I believe they had wedding rings on so Do you know anything about no he wore that hat? That's all because I want to talk to him because he was too embarrassed to on behalf him I then I had another fucking inner running with someone I was like a nice friendly get together and you'll think this is a different thing.

I was I went to lunch the other day. You know, there's that sushi place down the road over here on airport And I went to lunch and so on some sushi. I went by myself and I walk in oh Shit, you already got it done. Well kind of had me I can, oh shit, you already got it done. What kind of hat is it? What do we got? My only regret is if you'd come out with the cards in the hat, like the one Gus described, it'd been perfect.

Well, I'm gonna set this aside for now. He's still excited for now. He's one of the dressing room. I'm gonna tell my story and then we'll do this. What if we pick ourselves? What did that get? Okay. So I went to the sushi place over here

and it was by myself and I walk in and they're like I said I want to have lunch just for one. So I say is the sushi bar okay? Yeah, I'm by myself. I'm not a asshole. Sure, sushi bars fine. So they sit me down to the sushi bar and then like right after I sit down another guy they see another guy like right next to me. Don't know this guy at all. Total stranger sitting to my left. And he sits down and he starts talking to the sushi chef. I'm looking at the menu and stuff and he's immediately like asking the sushi chef, hey, is this fish fresh or is it farm raised? Like he goes down the list. He asks about a few different kinds of fish and he's like, do you have any quail

egg in the chefs? Like, yeah, we do. He's like going through like a long list of stuff and I'm like, man, this guy really knows his shit. Like he's being very specific about a lot of things. Like he must know exactly what he wants. Like he's narrowing it down. And I was like, I'm gonna kind of listen to that. And where I'm kind of curious to know what this guy's gonna, what this guy's all about.

What he's gonna get. So then the waitress comes over and it's like, you're ready to order. He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I'm gonna have a couple pieces of this, a couple pieces of this, piece of that. Like, has this really long order that the Annie's like, and three pieces of Niggiri tuna.

And she goes, okay, what kind of tuna? And his face kind of drops and he goes, there's different kinds. And I was like, after all of that, and all of the information is like, he got a bomb dropped on him. There's different kinds of tuna. So wait, just like, well, yeah, I mean, if you look here on the menu, you see, you know,

we have the fatty tuna, the regular tuna, the yellow tuna. Maybe it's like that restaurant in particular had different kinds. But he's like, whoa. Maybe he was just like a health inspector. He's like, well, I need a minute then. To determine if I want fatty tuna or not fatty tuna. I was like, blue fin. I just can't imagine. So then I start when you're like, did you read an article earlier in the day that was like, how to order sushi like a

pro or something? And then like, you got a question back asked back at him and then like, his whole reality was skewed. Your talk about that hat that said, this is my adulting hat reminds me, I think the equivalent of the female clothing brands is the shirts that say like, but first champagne. Oh yeah, mommy needs wine.

Or my religion is brunch or stuff like that where she's so cringey. And I don't know the people who buy that stuff or wear that stuff proud. I hope I get your name so bad. Forever 21 win bankrupt, right? Oh, it filed for bankruptcy but I think their stores are still open and like operating. I think they're just closing a few. Not that they sell that kind of stuff but it just made me think about that. I think they have some stuff like that,

but usually you'll find that stuff in like department stores or, I guess those like younger teen, young adult stores. But how does this? I don't know. It's Brian's hat. Brian is, Brian's the director tonight. And so I took his hat.

Hi Brian. Yes, it's on his desk. Oh, it's got pins all over it. That's why I'm asking. Oh, he doesn't wear it. You can wear Brian. It's on his desk. Oh, it's got pins all over it. That's why I'm asking. Oh, he doesn't wear it Well, you can wear it. It's just for drawing me. He'll wear it when the person who chooses Gus's outfit Which tells me very cool. You're Bernie now Baby, when did a hat become the thing that you put a bunch of stuff in

It was at the world's fair in Chicago in 1915 You know what else you could do with hats? Put stuff in it. If you get yourself put it back, but don't say who you got. Oh my God, pick a name. Yeah. That was the one that was folded in. We got to make sure it's not you. You should check first. It's not me. So when are we doing this?

So I was looking at the schedule. It looks like the 28th is open if you guys are available. October 28th. That is correct. I think I get back. Barbers out. From London that night. I'll be at MCM.

And we'll see you here at the podcast. Oh, I could. I could just come, because I think I land at 5 p.m. So I can't be on the regular podcast, but. Don't do that. We'll just pick another day. Okay.

Just get them to take off. We'll do it. I was like not looking so I could pick it out, but there's only one name in here. I have a question for you guys. Have. Have. Oh, we're a Christian to the third one.

I wonder if Chris comes to us. No, no, it's not about that. It's a completely different thing. I have a question for you. Okay. What can I do? Do you wear? No, no, no, no. It's nothing to that. It's a completely different thing. I have a question for you. Okay. What can bite a hat? Did you wear it? No, no, no, no.

It's nothing to do with the clothing. It was when I were talking about the guy, how you're so mad at the person who wore the hat. And like you were sitting, but you didn't say anything, right? Have I? I wouldn't say if it was mad. I was annoyed.

Yeah, have I ever done anything? Where you were like, had that type of reaction to me. But you want to know that though. I do. And well, now I do. I kind of know that type of reaction to me. But you do, you wanna know that though. I do, and well now I do. I kinda wanna know that all of us now. Like, has there been like, what a, what a, heavy, in that stupid, it didn't have to be clothing related.

It could be anything. Whenever I see you running. But that's, that's all the time. Why do you run everywhere, Chris? I just don't understand it. I get, I get placed at the B. I get, I get, places to be. I get that totally. I used to do it all the time.

It just makes you think of like a little kid, like an elementary school who like, they don't walk, they run. That would be times when I'd be like midnight, I'd be coming home from a pub on Friday night, and it'd be cold, and I'd live like 20 minutes away. If it's cold, I understand. And I would just sprint all the way home.

And I'd be done in like five minutes. And that's how you killed a family of hair trucks. That is exactly how I did that. That's how you used to get home too. And I lived in Montreal. I would just run out around home because it's cold. And you want to get home sooner. But also, I didn't like being on the street

by myself because I was a lady. Does you ever fall? Like, has it ever icy? And you slip and fall? Uh, many, many times, yeah. There was one time when I had to walk home from school. This is high school. And the pathway home, it was during, I think like an ice storm or something like that, and the pathway

had completely frozen over, and it was all ice. And I had chosen to wear like boots that were like out boots, which if you guys are familiar with those, have absolutely zero traction on it whatsoever. And it took me, I think, an extra 45 minutes to get home because I was walking so slowly. So we don't reveal our names Well, I'll I'll get you after the show and we'll I'll write down who's who and we'll work on it Well work a work out of date and stuff to do it all I've been trying to get better about Planning the podcast more in advance. It used to be like I've noticed that I've been trying to get better about planning the podcast more in advance. It used to be like, I've noticed that I've gotten like my calendar

invitations from you for like the next couple weeks. It's a lot easier when someone left. Interesting. I get a little more stability. So I just now you've decided you want to like be actively more in just now. No, I've been trying for over a year. I mean, still that's like a decade after it started though. Yeah, you know what's the time we put in to Snappy Shark and it was

tossed aside. Snappy Shark was on the podcast for like six weeks in a row. Was that a bit for the podcast? It was a bit for the Shark week. When Luke Tipple was here, we made Snappy Shark for him. He had been no one else. He wants to play that lethal piece of shit. It does. I love Snappy Shark. Eric, you could play it all you want. I saw him win again the other day. I saw him win his second game ever. I just call it AID game. I would call it a RIP.

AID game. Where's Snappy Shark? Is it thrown away? What is Snappy Shark? He's around here somewhere. Oh, Chris has never played Snappy Shark. He's the one that they replaced with the teeth with the things. Oh.

Ow. You want to play? Chris do you want to play? Chris, you want to play against Eric? He apparently wins all the time. Eric has only won twice ever. Eric always loses. So if you want to take it, did he take snappy shark? Son of a bitch.

I told you, it's not out here. We kill him. It looks a lot better back here. It looks a lot to me back here. We took a lot of his personal stuff. Oh, yeah, yeah, it all's personal stuff up here. We should start putting our own personal stuff. Eric's not happy. Furious.

Oh, no, it's gone. Whatever shall we do. I am so disappointed. I like having it around. Shoot is everyone happy with the name they pull. I'm very happy with the name. I pulled very happy. I'm very happy as well. I'm happy. I'm always happy. Somehow I think Gavin has me. I'm getting the feeling that that's me. Did you see that that influencer who tried to fake their way

into a business class upgrade on a plane? I did see that. How do to fake their way into a business class upgrade on a plane. I did see that. How do you fake your way into a upgrade? They printed up a fake email from the airline saying, thank you for using our airline to fly from, I thought it was like Hong Kong to New York. We would like to offer you a free upgrade from economy to business class. Just present this letter when you're checking at the airport for your free upgrade. It's not done, but in the back end, they just make you print something.

And then you show me like, look, I'm going to go, yes. Guessing it didn't work. So then I think they flew, I want to say it was from Hong Kong to New York. Oh, no, wait, it's Taiwan. It's from Taiwan to New York. They did not honor it on the Taiwan to New York flight. Then when she went and tried it again on the return flight from New York,

they said, oh, no, your return ticket's been canceled in your band from our airline. So then she had to buy it. She had to buy a replacement ticket. Wow. And now she's suing the airline. And the airline says, no, just send us the email, forward it to us with the actual information

and we'll make this all go away. Yeah. I mean, I guess not a lot of people know how upgrades work. So she thought that they could like weasel away in. But like upgrades, especially on a lot of airlines that I know about are very structured and like there is a little system to it and everything like that. Like it's not just an email you'll get that's like just present this thing.

I'll read an excerpt from her email. Please do. Because of your social network, we would like to formally extend a business class upgrade to you on the day of your flight. Should any tickets still be available at check-in? An agent will update your boarding pass if there is availability. Like, they don't talk like that.

No. Should any tickets still be available at check-in? They wouldn't say that. I mean, they do say like, if you request an upgrade, they say like, we'll put you on the standby or wait list for it. Right. But they would say seats at that point.

Yeah. But not like, should they become available? Right. It's just weird all the way around. I bloke, I bloke. I broke my non-fly streak. You did? Where'd you go? Went to LA, just for a day. Just for a day.

Just for a shoot. How long have you been like six weeks? Six weeks, that might be a new I'm sure I should be releasing are you gonna lose your status you think? I'm a 92,000 miles for the year What do you think I'm excited platinum is 100? I'm gonna try and make it my goal to not To platinum. I mean yeah, I barely this year. I barely qualified for the lowest year a frequent flyer I mean, yeah, I barely this year I barely qualified for the lowest year of frequent flyer

Dan, like 25,000. Yeah, I think I've flown 26,000 this year. How did you do that? I Since how did you feel since RTX London of last year? I really haven't gotten anywhere I think most of those 26,000 are from when I took my vacation when I went overseas myself I When did I film Honta because that was a ton of travel. I think that was during, or right after our TX London. Wasn't it? Is it March? February March.

They did some after our TX London. Yeah, they did an episode there. I know because we extended this day. I guess the tail end of Planet Slime was this year. That must be how I got some. Oh yeah, that would make sense. Don't do a travel show if you don't want to fly.

Oh, man, we're on travel now. We're on planes, we're on airports. You see the video of the outer control cart at O'Hare? Oh my God, so good. What I don't understand about that video, so I guess you haven't seen it, but it's very reactionary. Is it where it just went like?

It's running circles. There's people like standing around, like right outside the circle, the carts going in, like why would you stand there? There's like one guy who's like standing by the plane, it's like are you gonna let it hit you instead of the plane? Like, you should just leave.

Can I ask you guys a question about people standing in places and airports? So. I see Muvol, check the bag at some point in your life. Like you don't like people who stand right in front of the ramp? Why do people, why do people stand right where the bags come out, right there? They cluster and then when they see their bag, they have to like shovel these people out of the way to get their bag. Instead of just standing 10 feet down where the bag is eventually going to spin to be. Stand further away until you see your bag and then step up.

I don't even care if people stand right up there, just spread out around the carousel. They think it's like a first come first surf thing when really it's like chance. Whoever's bag comes up first, should walk up and get that bag. I literally will stand just like 10, 15 feet down away from where the bags come out.

Cause I'll like, oh, my bags coming down. Let me wait the 10 seconds it will take to get to me. I just stand like many layers back and I'm priority usually. So my bags come out first. They take it. Why do you even stand there? No, I mean, I'm behind everyone who's standing there.

I'm just like by the chairs and stuff. Yeah. And I'll see my bag usually first or like in the first 10. And then I just walk around the other way because I can't get anywhere near the actual carousel and I'll just meet bag usually first or like in the first 10. And then I just walk around the other way because I can't get anywhere near the actual carousel and I'll just meet you on the other side because everyone thinks that their bag is gonna come a first so they can just stand there

for like half an hour or the bag. I was gonna take a picture because I got in last night from a trip and there must have been like 30 or 40 people just clustered around that entrance, just like looking for their bags. I'm like, it's not gonna make it come faster. You're not gonna get it like sooner than if you just stood

like a little bit away, cause then I gotta go through all these people, you're probably not gonna get it. I guess it's cause it's just public transport in general, but yeah, if everyone just gets really freakishly, like I gotta get ahead of everyone else when it comes to air travel. And even if it's like getting on the plane, yeah, it's the exact same plane.

It's like we're boarding. Yeah. We literally all leave and arrive at the exact same time. The only thing I will say that I do kind of understand is if you are bringing a bag onto the plane to put in the overhead compartment and like, if your group is called, do you want to get there like sooner? So you have space because they're so limited space on the overhead compartments. I understand that to an extent because even if you- Stuff to boat with the group.

Exactly. Which I don't get why people just like wait at the front there. As if like okay you're gonna get ahead of like five people if you went like stand up and wait. I think it might be people in later groups who are trying to get on a little earlier to put their bag in the overhead bin. Yeah. There's only thing I can think. I have a travel story sort of a travel story. Huh?

Sort of? Okay. Well, it's public transportation. It's most of the way there. It's a transportation story. Um, this was about a month ago or something. Um, I woke up and I went to my car and my battery was dead. Uh, because I think I went, think I left a little light on.

And I was like, oh shit. And I was like, well, I got like a meeting and there's no one around to jump it. I'll just call an Uber. You know, it's not, I don't live that far away. So I call an Uber, take an Uber, get to work, have a meeting. And then I'm like looking around.

I'm like, I don't have my backpack. I have my backpack in the Uber. Oh, I thought it was in your car maybe. So I was like, shit, okay, well, and you can contact Uber and be like, hey, I left something there, I contacted driver and I call the driver and he's like, I was like, yeah, I left my backpack in your car

and they're like, oh, I don't have my car anymore. This is an hour after my ride. There's one meeting. And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, yeah, I just dropped it off at the car repair place to get repaired. And they said it's gonna be a couple days. And I'm like, what?

So how do I get my, he's like, I don't know, man, I don't know. I don't know what to do. How about he gives you the name and the address of the place? And I was like, well, can you like call them and verify that it's there and then let them know I'm gonna come and get it. And he's like, yeah, yeah, okay, I'll do that. So he did that, but it was like all the way down south, or like other part of town.

Holy shit. Did you have to take a notebook to it? So I had to take an Uber down. And then he left another bag in that bag. So I had to take an Uber down to this car dealership way down south and then an Uber back up and I was like, God damn it. But you got your bag.

I got my bag. Yeah. What did you tell the guys when you showed up there or the shop? I was like, hey, my friend, I left the thing in my, I didn't know what to explain. I left the thing in my friend's car. I was like, you can have said, I took an Uber and the guy dropped his car off here.

Just felt like a lot of, I don't know. I just felt like, it felt sketchier to be like, it's, I don't know the person, but I left my bag in the, I don't know. Yeah. But I guess my bag in the, I don't know. Yeah, but I guess like you'd have to know it's there to even. That's really annoying. It was so much more inconvenient.

I was really expensive too. It was like, go the way down the internet. And then back? Yeah. Well, I still had to, I still had to Uber home. How does it work like that? Like does Uber help cover those costs at all? No, I mean, it's too far from there.

It was, it was, it was? No, I mean, you're fault. It's just my, yeah. But it's in the guy's car. It's just shitty luck. Yeah. And it was like, it was, I mean, it was one hour. One, because it was like, yeah. We'll have it in a go day. Go day or go.

You'll have backpack. I set in the back seat of the Uber, set it down on the seat, and then I was like, and I got up and left whenever I got out of it. I think it was like on my phone or something, and I was like, most of the time I don't have a backpack when I'm in an Uber, so I don't really think about it, you know? Yeah. When I get that.

One time when we were at Pax Boston or Pax East, something similar happened where I was getting out, I don't remember if it was a cab or a new worth, I might just probably a cab. I was getting out, my phone fell out of my pocket and I didn't realize it and it was in the back seat. So like the whole time at the event, I had logged in to find my iPhone and someone else's phone

was like, pinging it and make trying to make it ring. Eventually I got a hold of the person who was driving the car and I convinced him, I was like, I'll pay you to come back. I remember that. Where? Wasn't there an event where we had like prints or like something that we left in a car? Maybe I'm thinking of someone else.

No, that was definitely not me. Someone had like prints for something and they were like really important and they were unable to get any more of them. And they convinced the guy to come back and gave them like a $50 tip because they were just so thankful that they brought it back. That was not me. I paid more than $50 to my phone. Yeah. I was like, I'll give you money to come back to my phone, please. We were reminded of that time when we were in New York Comic Con this weekend,

We were reminded of that time when we were in New York Comic Con this weekend. Miles, Carrie and I were reminiscing about the packs east we went to where our flights got canceled. God. And we were talking about how if you weren't there because you figured out this whole, like you got a seat on another plane that went to New York. New York and then you rented us a car that would drive all of us to packs. And we were talking about how this was so long ago to the point where we were so inexperienced to travel. If you weren't with us, we would have been so fucked. That was complicated. Yeah. Because I think that was eight people across three or four different

reservations on the same airlines. I had to like call the airline and try to merge all of the reservations and then get them all transferred to the same flight. It was you, Jack, me, Miles, Carrie, Monti and Shane. Seven. Seven, okay. Seven people. And you had to find seven open seats on one flight. I had to find a plane.

I was like, can you fly us to Boston? No, can you fly us to Providence? No, can you fly us? I was like just working my way to other airports in the Northeast. Yeah. It had to be kind of fun though. It was fun. There's a fucking pain in the ass. Yeah, it had been kind of fun though. It was fun. There's a fucking pain in the ass.

We stopped for milkshakes on the way. Yeah, it was when they had the Shamrock Shake in McDonald's. Exactly. Yeah, it was so cold out too. I remember thinking you guys were fucking crazy. It's the kind of drip way like you get to the hotel room and just like flump onto the place. Yeah, well I remember, I don't know how he did,

but Bernie got there somehow, just fine. I guess maybe his flight wasn't canceled, and he was waiting for us in the lobby, and he said, you guys made it. That's so funny. That's very funny. I love it. And then there was like some fuck up at the hotel too.

Do you remember? Like someone's room wasn't ready or wasn't right? Or like they didn't have the reservation for it. Right, so they gave them the presidential suite? I don't remember that, but so it was like, so we all had to fight over it because nobody wanted it, because it was just a small bedroom with a giant board room and a kitchen attached to it.

Oh yeah. And it was like, we all went up and looked at it. And it was like, whoever wants it can have it. And it was like, no, not me, not me. Yeah, I'll be all over that. We wicked. Nobody wanted it. We all had to fight over.

I feel like now I would want it. But back then when I was like 22, I'm like, what am I gonna do with this? Now I would just like fucking sit in every seat at that table. Yeah, I'd sleep on the table. One time I got in trouble at an Airbnb for that. For sitting at a table?

No, for using all the beds. So it was me and Josh Flan again had gotten, we were doing like a writing retreat and we like booked in Airbnb for like four or five days and you know, like they asked how many people are saying so I was like two, just you know, you know, you can say why you're visiting like, oh, we're just doing a little writing retreat

just two of us were gonna log up and do some work. She's like, okay, cool that it it up. And then whenever I went to go, we checked out and left and everything. And then I got a message and the lady was like, I'm gonna have to charge you for additional people staying there because there were a lot of people staying. I was like, no, it was just two of us. No one else went in. It's like, well, every single bed was slept.

How many beds are we talking about? There were like six beds. And you just slept in different beds? Well, I only slept in one. Josh decided to sleep in a different bed every night. Like, fucking like Goldilocks or something. see, which one was more comfortable? This one is too soft. And I have to watch every single part. And I was like, and I explained, I was like, I guess my friend is an idiot and he slept in every bed because I don't know why. And she's like, well, no, that's not true.

I found, I found women's clothing. Also Josh. And I was like, there were, I promise you, unfortunately no women's place the entire time. I was like, maybe there were clothes from some other Airbnb, but there were not. And it's you was like, I don't believe you. I'm like, well, I don't know what to tell you.

And then I didn't pay. I mean, I paid for the Airbnb. I didn't pay the additional fee for extra people. I mean, they just take it from your information, did they? No. No, I think you have to authorize it. Yeah, I don't know. It was like, I would do it.

She didn't end up, she didn't end up chart, she tried to charge me and I disputed it or something. I don't remember. Like fighting on me instead for the way. But I was like, I, it didn't say, you can only say it with two people and you can only use two beds. Have you heard that thing? I'm really, it didn't say, you can only stay with two people and you can only use two beds. Have you heard that thing?

I'm really, I love Airbnb. I've been around travel, I've seen your movies. I'm really nervous about hidden cameras in Airbnb's now. I thought about that too. Because it's apparently not necessarily a violation of their terms of use. What?

But I mean, like, and people have found cameras in Airbnb's and brought it up. And it's like, it's a really gray area in, interesting that there, let me see if I find an ARC Airbnb hidden camera. If they have cameras, they should tell you where they are

and they shouldn't be in like, you're like, I understand. So from March 26th, an article in the Atlantic, Airbnb has a hidden camera problem. Is it just a bunch of people trying to just juggle off to people changing stuff? I think they say it's for security here to keep an eye on their stuff, but I can see like the front door, like where the doorbell is, but not like the live, you don't need a camera in the living room.

Well, there's like a search for Airbnb, hidden camera, and all the returns are, hidden cameras in your Airbnb? Here's how to find them. For a waste of time, they're hidden cameras in your Airbnb. How to scan your Airbnb for hidden cameras? How to find hidden cameras in your Airbnb? And anywhere else?

What are Airbnb's rules about security? I mean, it's the entire front page of Google if you do a search for it. So this is what you're saying, if we ever stayed in Airbnb, do a little quick check. I guess it's the rest of the estate. Be a member. You have to take someone else's house.

If it's in the living room or whatever, then I get it. But like, bedrooms and bathrooms seems like it should be not legal because like those are the places that you would change. Even in the living room. The living room too, I guess, but I guess it also depends on who you're staying with

and what you're doing. I mean, if you get around it by just getting changed in the kitchen. I mean, cause like, I've, I've, I've fooled around in the living room of Airbnb before. Okay, fair enough. You know what I mean?

Cause you're like, was it with Josh? No. That's what she charged you. She saw, she knows. Yeah. Yeah, that's fucked up. Yeah. All right, let's have a time to wrap this up.

Sweet. Thanks everybody for watching. We'll see you guys next time. Bye. Bye. Music Do you like apples? Example. Together in trepid hosts, Characans are free of ideas of nothing to do with this podcast. Analyze various unsolved and rooster teeth's cryptic podcast, f*** face.

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