Rooster Teeth Podcast - Gavin’s Golden Bathroom Rule - #429

Episode Date: May 16, 2017

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If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church, twisted metal, streaming now, only on peacock Mutiny hey everyone welcome to the receive podcast me this week brought to you by Casper and nature box I'm Gus. I'm Gavin. I'm Barbara. I am Bernie and I'm Gus. I'm Gavin. I'm Barbara. I am Bernie. And I'm Gus. I'm Gavin. I'm Barbara. I'm Bernie. I'm Gus. I'm Gavin. Barbara. Bernie. Gus. Gavin. We're curious how long this will go. You are the one who ruined that. What is said, keep going. You have to get it. You have to get it. You keep it. Don't you have another podcast? Do I he did what I did You had a spot of sign. Oh spot of sign. I was thinking about the green D show

Oh, that's a kind of mouth. They're both in broadcast. Yeah, who show is that here? It's a half-wits you can get on I choose that is an excellent question We just we had that big debate at a recent green light meeting so does answer the question Who is the lead creative on heroes and half-wits? Jeff. Okay. So a person who doesn't work at the company anymore or currently on hiatus.

Who is? Jeff. Okay, yeah. Yeah, okay. You made it sound like I was wrong. No, no, I'm not saying that. I'm saying I'm going with your information that he's the lead creative on it.

And who do you think came up in the meeting? I assume Jeff. Not at all. Frank. Frank. Yeah, I work Jeff. Not at all. Frank. Frank. Yeah, I work here. I know. That's right.

So welcome to it. So it sounds like today you had a bunch of meetings that we're trying to find out who makes our shows. That wasn't today. That was like two weeks ago, which we were greenlighting the next season of heroes and half ways. I guess my time sheet's over. Or is I like to call season of heroes and half ways. I guess. My time sheet's over. Or is that like to call it Dun Jeff and Dragass?

Bernie was being really sassy to me before the podcast started. Fuck, I was not. What was this podcast? Apparently Bernie Burns is drunk. I had three drinking lunches. Well, let's keep that going. Can we get him another drink? It's right there.

It's only fucking fireman's for. I had three drinking lunches today. This could be a big mistake. So it's Monday. We know that drunk people like to drink. Is that what your Monday's like? It's how well my Monday's like. It's what I'm trying to do. I'm not gonna get it in a plane,

it's in a couple hours. Oh, you do. I'm running. Are you flying it? No, I'm not flying it in a plane. Oh, don't drink a fly. You're flying tonight? Yeah.

I fly like right after this. Where you going? Mm-hmm. That way? What's up there? Mexico. I'm going to LA. Oh, I'm going to San Francisco. Are you why you going to San Francisco?

Well like seven in the morning, so that's basically so like really late tonight. Yeah, yeah, see I just did the I just did the 8 p.m. And I'm like sure when I go there. I don't like fly in San Francisco. I like San Francisco. It's just annoying to fly to you. Why don't you like flying there? It's very fun. Oh, yeah, there are plenty Here's why he doesn't actually like it. He doesn't like it because Gavin is faced with the conundrum of does he fly American Airlines and do a layover somewhere or does he fly Virgin and fly direct and then it doesn't count. It's not stop. Thank you.

Non stop direct. Here's what I'm doing. And then it doesn't count as a flight for real. Guess which one I picked. You picked Virgin. I'm American. You picked American. I picked Virgin.

Because I just want to get that one. Look at it, I know him so well. Why did you pick it? I just want to get that quick. And now you're mad because it doesn't count as a flight for real. I'm not that mad. Well, Gage has enough points, right? You're, are you excited?

I'm miles coming out of my anus. Executive platinum. Did you see that stupid new terminal at LAX? No. Oh, the silver-liberty one? Oh, yeah, you sent me that. It's like a membership. Yeah, and it's like pay like three grand every time you fly.

Yeah, it's like, I think it's like a $7,500 membership and then you pay three grand every time you fly. Every time you fly. What is that for? It's like a private terminal where there's no paparazzi so for like celebrities. And they say that it's like five minutes from curb to plate.

Except here's the deal, here's the deal. Here's what I thought about that. That celebrity terminal, it's designed to be for celebrities where they won't be bothered, but what it will be is it'll be a bunch of rich people who want to be around celebrities and talk to them constantly. That's exactly what that's gonna turn into, I think, at least.

I mean, it would have to be a pretty high, I mean, there's not a high chance that you'd run into someone in that terminal. Like, I'm gonna say you decide to go. I feel like even just flying out of the normal terminal to LAX, I see actors and people from associated with Hollywood all the time. What are the kind of actors that would pay that much

to fly in that terminal? Like the really big stars on the fly. If it was private, I would assume. Yeah, I would assume. Like, okay, maybe you'll run into one person, is that worth three grand? I did read an interesting stat. What's the chance to do, right?

No. The appartile is like, it's like 1500 steps typically or something like that for a passenger. From the moment they walk into the airport and the moment they step on the plane and this terminal reduces, that's like 70 steps. Yeah. I would say stat.

That's like their stat. Maybe it was more than 50. The rest of it, they put you on a cart basically. Good beating and that poison even that bad. Do you wear the cart never buy that? No. No. I was with, who was it with?

I was actually an Ellie in an airport and the cart came by and it was like 11 at night. Is it that one of the little trolley things that takes you through? Yeah, no, no, not the, not the tram. Like it was just like a cart. Like a electric cart for old people. Yeah, that's what the one guy driving. Yeah, the one guy who was always like, excuse the cart, like it was just like a cart, like a electric cart for old people. Yeah, that's what the one guy driving.

Yeah, the one guy who was always like, excuse the cart, excuse the cart. It was in DFW. And he stopped and he goes, I'll give you a ride to your gate. And I was like, I'm not getting on the cart. Like that's the due to money Python. Because it's like sitting at a disabled seat. I don't want to go on the gum. No, yeah.

I was like, I walk 12 gates, which in DFW is like a mile and a half, but I was like, I'm still gonna walk it. I don't give a minute. I feel like you're taking that away from someone who really needs it. Yeah. The only way I would write that car is if I could straddle my carry on and then just hold the back of it and write it.

I think that'd be way more fun. Do you know what I'm talking about? Do you really make a motorized carry on? I've seen the car. I've seen that. You've written the car. I've written the car. See, Ellie and Ashley both got on the cart.

What? And they rode off into the curved sunset. They went around the bend and I lost them forever. So you just didn't get on it of the principal of it. Totally didn't get on it. Not spiked, the principal. Thank you, Gavin. That's why I didn't go to Vegas.

It wasn't spiked. It was the principal. That's why I got out of that minivan. Scream me like a looted dick into the dark of Hollywood. So't go to Vegas. It wasn't spiked. It was the principle. That's why I got out of that minivan. Screaming like a lunatic into the dark of Hollywood. So I want to call, man, I wonder if I should even do this. Go as best. Sounds like you should. No, I want to call myself out on something,

but it's like one of those things where the audience, that you in general doesn't notice something, and then you point it out, and then everybody notices it and thinks they discovered it themselves. When you do a doo show. So, where should you just has been a humorous content website for a long period of time. Three weeks. Three years.

So as such, there were things that were I think acceptable to make jokes about when we started this company that are now no longer acceptable to make jokes about. And me personally, I've been through a journey where I've learned things and I would no longer make jokes about those certain things. And that episode of The Rishoget Animated Adventures, you're talking about where you got out of the car and you ran off into the night, that has a joke in it that I'm like,

I wouldn't make that same joke today. But it's literally 11 years ago, I think I made that joke. But I wouldn't make it today. And so then it's the 11 years ago, I think I made that joke, but I wouldn't make it today. And so then it's the conundrum of, is it right to take it down, or is that censoring, or something? Like I don't agree with my own joke in that.

It definitely, you know what it is? What is it? Calling someone like a pussy or something, or? Nope. I know what it is. What is it? You're gonna tell me, you're calling me out. You're calling me out.

Now, if someone take this clip of the podcast and just take the Gavin portion of it, so it's like he's making the same joke. Oh, do you want to say it? I'm taking a guess here. Go ahead. Did you refer to me running down the street past trannies? I said, you jumped out of the van in Transvestite, Ale.

That was it, yeah. That would be a CD part of town to be in. I totally wouldn't make that joke today. Yeah, you know. I feel like, I don't know if it's just like, as you get older, I used to really like offensive jokes. So I said, it was like, made me happy, I guess. But then I found that so many people were becoming more sensitive, like our audience was changing.

And I was just offending people when they were getting upset. And I was like, yeah, but I stick by my joke. It was a funny joke. And then now I'm like, is it really worth offending people though? I feel like I've definitely- Now you just do it quietly to me, so no one could hear it. I do feel like-

I feel like that's your choice as a, if I may say so, a comedian that you should be able to make that choice. And if you choose to make the joke about it, that I feel like that should be okay. One of the things that bothers me most about when people get super offended is they laugh at all the jokes that we make and comedies about dark stuff.

You make fun of stuff that's hard in life. Like you make fun of people being stupid. That's red versus blue or people being lazy. That actually makes people's lives really difficult. You don't make jokes about a guy who's got a great life and lives in a big house. I mean, that's not funny. You make fun of stuff that's kind of dark.

I mean, they find it be all the time, Bernie. And people get offended when you make fun of their thing. And I don't think that's fair. Like, you can't wait until we get into your territory. And then be mad. And then be mad. Like, you laughed at all the other jokes, but it's like, oh, you made fun of my thing.

That's inappropriate. Yeah, there's some stuff where it's like, you learn from the people you're offending, the sort of extent of it. And I think at that point, you can make a judgment call on whether it's still good. Like, there's still some stuff that I'll still say. But then if you offend a big group of people,

it's like, here's how this is making my life worse. It's like, yeah, maybe I don't need to be doing that then. Okay. Maybe. Probably not. It's a really, it definitely changes as time goes on, like as time goes on to be doing that then. Okay. Yeah. Probably not. It's a really, it definitely changes as time goes on. Like as time goes on and as your own time goes on. And as your experience grows.

Yeah. Yeah. I've gotten cleaner. Maybe less funny though. You listen, I mean, if you... Why do you think that shift happened? Do you think it's because people share so much more of their lives and their experiences online with people and can relate to people that they've kind of

grouped up to form these, I don't know, groups of people who are against this type of slander or against this type of insult. I think that over time, because of social media, I think that emotion has become a kind of currency that people have to make a post every day and they have to contribute in some way. And emotions are the way that they do that.

And I don't know that it's a legitimate currency. I think a lot of ways it's a counterfeit currency, because I think, especially when it comes to political stuff, which is huge now, when people make these emotional outbursts, there is this satisfaction, like this dopamine hit that you get. We talked about this, I think, in the connected dock that you were in. They get that satisfaction of, oh, I spoke out against this thing Ultimately Emotion over action really means nothing and I think 2016

More than any year taught us that that emotions don't matter nearly as much as actions take the fucking actions Even if it's one day and go out and do something go out and do the fucking thing But what if everyone changes their Facebook profile picture? Right, exactly. What if everyone does it? It goes back to like when Bono was getting shit about raising all that money for red and it turned out to be all for awareness.

It's like, we're aware. We're aware of it. You're welcome. Yeah, exactly. Thank you, Bono, for making us aware. But we need action. What's like that money go to like do something. I mean, at the time you told that joke, I don't think there would have been any offense

taken by it because there wasn't sort of the new lingo around. It wasn't widespread. Like people didn't say like a trans person back there. But don't you think that has more to do with us than people who were dealing with that at the time because being transsexual or transgender, I should say, being transgender is something that has existed for eons, probably as long as there's been people who have to say the word identity.

The world was pretty ignorant about it until recently. But that doesn't take away the experience of those people, it just means it will be all. No, but maybe they felt more alone in it to the fact that they couldn't, or that they wouldn't feel justified speaking out against being hurt by something. I'm just like, oh, I guess like I'm really in the minority and this is just going to be a joke and I'm going to have to deal with it whereas now they feel like, oh, these people

are also going through this thing and have a finding issue with it. Yeah, it's just like that history of being marginalized for so long. Yeah. And then, you know, like you said, like finding other people and building community from that. Do you ever get offended online? Aside, aside from people insulting your dogs. I don't think so. I get annoyed online. I think I ever really get offended online.

Yeah, that was the thing that I used to struggle with the most is that I've never been offended by someone I don't know. Have you ever felt threatened? Yes. I know you have. I don't want to go into it, but I know you have, guys. But that's the thing that I feel like I should be more empathetic about when people make threats to me online, I don't really go into it, but I know you have, guys. But that's the thing that I feel like I should be more empathetic about. When people make threats to me,

I'm like, shut the fuck up. First of all, I live in Texas. If you're gonna come up to somebody's house in Texas, good luck. You know what I mean? It's, I'm a traditional Texan. I'm a gun owner. Texas is a very strong castle wall.

Yeah, it really does. So, and I guess because I'm a grown no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I should be more empathetic about, oh yeah, somebody did actually threaten your life or horrible sexual assault or something like that. I should be more empathetic then. But at the same time, my gut reactions go like, it's an online threat. It's on four channels. It's not. Sometimes that stuff comes to, you know, sometimes it does. Sometimes it does. Try being a woman, maybe. Get it all the time. Yeah. Every second of the day.

No, that's what I'm saying. I need more empathy when it comes to that. But actually, for the vlog this week, I recorded it, but I was wondering if I should put it in there. There's a sign at the Ostrom Bergstrom Airport. Ostrom. What's that? Ostrom.

Ostrom. I love the Ostrom Bergstrom. Ostrom Bergstrom. Ostrom Bergstrom Airport. And I'm not gonna get through it. It's an airport. Austin, Austin, what's it? Austin, Austin, I love the Ostrombakstrom, Austin Birch Schumer airport. And I'm not gonna get through it. It's an airport. You can look it up, AOS. There's a sign that says,

we are at a heightened awareness or a heightened alert status for terrorist activity. So don't leave your bag sitting somewhere. This sign is a permanent sign that is affixed to the wall. And in fact, I know for a fact, it's a new sign

because the old sign got so faded in the sun that they had to replace it. It's like, okay, how can you be a heightened awareness for a longer period of time than a sign can survive? It's just like, are we really or is it just like, hey, everything's dangerous now, everyone be scared all the time. Well, is that just permanent after 9-11?

Yes, it is. It's just, yeah, you're addressing that fucking facade of security. Have you been in many shared bathrooms, like whatever gender bathrooms? Oh, like none. Yeah, like, non-specific. I've been in, the YouTube space has one. The YouTube event, we just went to that hotel, has like all of the bathrooms for like all the parties went to, they were just communal.

Yeah. Which is great. I find it, I like that it's still in a window where I haven't done it many times in my life. It's, I'm my heart, like my heart rate goes up when I walk out of a cubicle and I see a woman. Because I think I'm in the wrong bathroom. And then I'm just like, oh no, it's just,

it's a whatever gender bathroom. Yeah, that happens to be the alamos sometimes. I can't shake that feeling every time. If I just forget where I am for a second, I'm like, oh, it's okay, it's fine. And everyone else has the same look, like a girl looked at me and she was like, oh. Yeah, I went to a bar recently

and they did something that I really love. They had like the two bathrooms that you would normally have. But one says toilets and one says toilets and urinals. So it's not like men and women. It's just like this one all over the journals. I like that as a woman. Do you dream of using your urinal? Maybe the best, right?

It'd be complicated. I mean, they do. There's a scene for that in the full Monty. Do you remember that near the beginning of the movie? I don't even have seen that movie. There's a woman who uses a urinal. I feel like there would be a lot of equipment that I would need to make that happen. Does she like back into it?

She's like, like, push her hips forward a little bit, like lifts her dress up. Are you talking about just like lifting like my like your re-threat. Yeah, like you just like, like when you put your thumb over a hose and make it spray harder? It's a same thing. It's a copy on my dick. That's heard the same thing. It's literally spit-takes. I'm on the literal spit take.

I'm on the day and now. Is that copy? Maybe tried it? No. There you go. How do you know? Because I'm just gonna piss all over my fucking leg. You do it in a shower.

I've heard people. Try it in the woods first. Like try it outdoors. Why don't I just try it in my own bathroom? Because I assume you don't want to clean it up if you make a mess. It's pee. Homeowner. Homeowner. if you make a mess. It's pee. Homeowner.

Homeowner. That's me. Homeowner. Uh-huh. Yeah, it sounds weird. You say it. Homeowner. So how often do you pee outside on your own property?

Never. Ever. Never. Come on. Yeah, I'm my, I'm my old house. I did occasionally. I have never done it. Steve I did.

He pissed in my backyard and I was like, that's weird. It's not weird. I've pissed in Gus' backyard. Steve O. I pissed in the full criminal night. I pissed in your backyard. Oh, right, right. You had a screened in porch.

Yeah. You say the full criminal night as if that's like a typical night for you. No, it's a very specific night. No, it's a legendary night. I'm saying, of course you're gonna pee in Gus' yard because you're black out drunk. Is that a normal thing?

Yeah, yeah, you got a Pima when you're drunk. So you pee through the screen You know are you'll appreciate this to he had a screen in porch which at about just over hip level Down with solid wood Just over hip level and up was all screen. Oh, no, and so I on you with someone and peeing like below what I thought was hip level privacy, but clearly anybody's talking to me. It's seen me pissing. Maybe if their eyes were on that deck, they wouldn't have seen you. If they had a deck. Yeah. Oh, it didn't. So you know what happens to you're so classy moment?

You know what happens to me so often, especially at bars? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, it's all guests. What happens to Barbara at bars that happens all the time? Man, try to talk to you. People will give you drugs. I was just trying to be different.

I know I was thinking about this. Barbara goes into the bathroom and girls girls wanna be your best friend. Well, that, yes, that does happen. Okay. But that wasn't where I was going. Girls are so friendly in bathrooms. It's the worst. Guys don't have that.

We don't have that support network. No, they, you go into a girl's bathroom when you're drinking and everyone just compliment you. How hot you are in life. Oh my God, I love your try. Guys don't say a fucking word. Yeah. I don't think I've ever opted a word in a bathroom to someone I don't know

But what happens all the time when I go to bars I always accidentally Let's wait a game again. Okay, okay. I got I got it. You make eye contact With you the through the the gap this now started with pee so Fumble fumble attempt fumble a tampon. Do you accidentally watch somebody pee that you don't intend to? Yeah. Is that right?

Guys, all the time, when you're walking, when you're walking, when you're leaving the girls' bathroom are going into and the guys' bathroom door swings open, for some reason, so many bars positioned in the urinals right by the fucking doors. Our ears like that, the one right outside stage five is like that.

Yeah, you can be standing in our front door and watch someone piss. Yeah. I like unintentionally, but kind of intentionally see so many dicks. Kind of with your and coming out. Well, because you're looking. Yeah.

Yeah, but we already went over those with dick picks. You don't want to see a flaccid dick. I also don't want to see a flaccid dick peak. But you see can't help but look, is what you're saying. Exactly. Yeah. You'd be the worst guy because there is plenty of

opportunity in a men's bathroom to look at other dudes. Oh, no, I would be terrible. I'm hope that's okay to say this. It's in my head. I don't do it, but it's in my head. It's there. Go on. Like if I just like lean and look, I can see it. I can see, I can see their deck. Wait, so you're, I'm in my new year and all. I mean, so standard procedure eyes front. You don't think about this. You don't think about your own privacy when I can see their deck. Wait, so you're, I'm in a new year and all. I'm in a, so stand up for Ceeja Eyes Front. You don't think about this, you don't think about your own privacy when you're in a year and all, Gavin?

I mean, I'm blocking it. So, but you're blocking, because you're thinking about it, so what I'm saying, this is heavy though, so wait, so you turn your head. No, I'm saying it's in my head that I could look and see somebody else's deck

and then they can look and see mine, just that you could. Just that I could. That's it, you have the eye. It's that you could just that I could that's it you have the It's because you got that friend what oh I almost hit his real name what I say in the I don't remember Bruce I think I called him yeah in the RTA yeah, but you've never done it you've never taken yourself up on this offer no I don't think I ever have I don't think ever have you think about it. I think about it. I never have to be in a bathroom was in Chicago Oh here I almost said Chicago you don't know you're not almost you totally say Chicago. Yeah, I've got the Gus

Oshkenbergs drum Okay, no extra person may as part of Chicago Joe hair and I was in Chicago Oh here airport and I I did the thing where you like Unfortunately see through the crack in the stall and a guy was masturbating. Oh see through the crack in the stall and a guy was masturbating fear. Oh my god. Fearlessly. I think this is what made white, but that's way less.

He just found out he's dying in 30 minutes. That happened to me at San Diego Comic Con. I mean, he was. What, you saw someone masturbating? No, Jeff saw me masturbating. In a bathroom. No, no, I saw someone masturbating. In a bathroom.

In a bathroom. In the convention center. In the convention center. I've had two bad bathroom experiences. One time I was peeing and some prick kicked me in the ass and I banged my penis against the urinal. I thought, what are the best moments of my life? He was so, Gavin never actually gets mad. He was genuinely mad.

Because his knob touched the urinal. We had hand sanitizers, the boot. Yeah, don't put that on the stick. Don't put that in there. Was it best placed? The other time I was in, it was that convention. I was in a store that didn't have a lock and I was doing a 2Z.

So I just had one hand on it. Where's this wee convention? At a convention. Yeah, I think I would walk back to the hotel. Go ahead. It was before I could do that and then a wheelchair I was in I did like be it the booth a wheelchair came crashing through Oh god, like I guess like he wheeled he missed way was wheeling himself and he ended up like oh my god against my knees

And I was pulling with a guy in a wheelchair Against my he said he was wheelie, sorry? Hahaha. Hahaha. Hmm. Were you taking your handi-crap? I thought you were. Hahaha.

Oh, what's that? What on my dick again? I need... Oh, they go back. I thought you were going to tell the story about when some guy offered you cocaine in the port of potty. No, offered him is not the right word. You did cocaine on your shoulder.

Yeah, you just came in and did it, oh God. I plugged that one out. That was a year ago. Yeah, I think there's an animated venture about that now. There might be. I think we have a guy doing drugs in an animated venture, do we? I think so.

We should start doing approvals on these. When I saw you talked about the lock bean broken on the bathroom stall, in my high school, the bathrooms had no stall doors. No doors. No doors. That was a normal thing. How do you poo? You just fucking, like a prison.

You fucking take your dump and you look other people in the eyes. Take your dumps. Yeah. High school was trying to take a dump in the look other people in the eyes. Take your dumps. Yeah. Yeah. High school was trying to take a dump in the morning and try to make sure you never had to take a dump at all during the day. What about the women's restroom? I don't know.

I never went into the women's restroom. Well, I mean, maybe other friends. She almost had a female friend in high school. God no. Well, I just, I would think like, oh, you get to high school and you're like, hey, does your bathroom have staldors? I didn't have any friends. I didn't talk to anyone. The only person I talked to was Frank, who's apparently creatively on Heroes in Halfwoods. Seriously, that came out of that meeting.

That Frank is the creatively. Like, he oversees the post-production for the show. Hmm. Does he? That... I learned all of this. All of this was learned. The O'Hare Airport has something that I I fucking hate where all of the, I don't know if the women's restaurants are like this, but I assume they are. All of the toilets have that seat cover on them. Oh, yeah. And it's the automatic switch. Yeah.

And it's like automatically it rotates out. You wave your hand over it and it changes the toilet seat cover. So you're never sitting on someone else's butt. It just looks like mushed up, crumpled plastic wrap. That's all over the toilet. And you wave your hand and it rotates out and new plastic wrap covers the toilet. I think I read something that that's even dirtier

than just using a plain toilet seat. Because it smears it around and like. Yeah, like something about that plastic which is like, that's way worse. I don't care how clean the skin on my ass is. What if someone like gives you a barber thing? Kiss on the bum. I love the way you think.

Who gives a shit, right? Yeah. I totally agree with you. It's your ass. I feel like I'm kind of a germophilable. I try to be very clean. Even I don't give a fuck about that. Like if they have like the toilets, you are like.

Okay. So, so many of them are like, oh, I never sit on toilets. It's like, why? It's okay. It's okay. It's a day. It's okay. It's okay. I get all your kit off, he's touching you. Would you be like, oh, my ass is dirty.

Or would you let him do whatever you want? And you're still not like sleeping with a guy right after using a public bathroom all the time. But even if I- Why is it a public bathroom, that's very- Well, even if, I mean, I- She said this before, she didn't give a shit. I don't give a shit.

I love the guy's sake. The guy is not gonna be like- Yeah, but then- He smells like toilet seat. The germs though. The germs on him. Well, that's his problem. He came up your ass.

That's his problem. Listen, there's a lot more germs- Probably where he's going. I'm more germs. Where he's going. Classy. If you're lucky. Oh, good. I'm more germs, where he's going. Class. If you're lucky. Oh, good.

Classy. So someone tweeted to be something today, and I need your help remembering this. It was several years ago, but when did we decide that the term selfie was going to be obsolete and that there was going to be new terms for it? Oh, I remember when we first talked about the term selfie. And how it wasn't going to blast. And how I said, what do you call it when you take a photo of yourself? And these two were like a self portrait.

And I said, have you ever heard the term selfie before? And do you know it was actually who told me the term? Yeah. I thought it was an Australian thing. And you guys were like, a selfie is not a thing. No one's going to say selfie, you know. And now it's like, and I's not a thing. No one's gonna say selfie, you know? And now it's just like, and I thought it was like C-E-L-L-V.

Because it was a little fun. I thought that's what you was saying. And then we said that in the future, there would be like apps or you could take photos with both cameras at the same time. You remember, we had this conversation at one point. Apparently, LG now makes a phone that can take a two-feet, where it takes two photos at once.

It takes a photo out of that camera and a photo out of the front camera. So it would be a nicely framed photo of something and a picture of someone's face going, mwah. That existed for a while, hasn't it? I don't know, I just saw an ad. It's a frown of mine.

Took a picture of his face going like this. And then a close, the other picture that was taken on the other side was an empty roll of toilet paper. Gross. At the same exact time. Close friendship, yeah.

I don't know what makes me matter. Is the empty roll of toilet paper or someone who has a new roll of toilet paper and it's just sitting on top. Oh, that's what I do. I hate to get that. It's like the leziest thing on the plane. There are animals who work in the bungalow now. Animals.

Because I see that all the time. And I see toilet paper put on the roll, the wrong way all the time. That's the wrong way. There is no wrong way. No, the wrong way is it coming down the back. It's coming down the back. No, you mean under?

Yes. Under is prefer. It needs to be over. You're a, you own fucker. How you are so successful. If a cat comes up and goes like this, bop bop bop bop bop bop to the under it just winds it around guess what we got no cats here He's got cats here. I said here also. It's a universal thing here if a cat just turns around Then it's gonna come down anyway. Wait, we've a kid just on the other side

Yeah, if he's like pressing his back against the wall and he's doing that, no, Tatch are doing that. No, Kaz, done that. They're wedging up behind the like the one inch behind it to do that. No, so what if the cat gets up and then slides down the back of it with his back? Not happening. That can happen.

Why don't you just like, or what if the cat just scratch like this? The other one was up. Then you're fucked, right? That would never happen. That was the best reason I've ever heard. It's like the gif or gif thing. It goes one way or the other.

Like standing up to wipe or sitting down to wipe. Look, if you got one of those hooks that way you open on one end and you can just slot one on, that you should do. If it's one of those ones where you've got a like de-hook it and like thread a new ball grow through, I'm never gonna do that. I'm just gonna plop it on the top.

You're an animal. You're an animal. You're an animal. I mean, I'm sitting there. Well, I'm just gonna plop it on the top. You're having your animal. You're an animal. You're an animal, you're sitting there. Well, that's funny that because I can just grab it and use it. I have a question for you. No, you're an animal. I have a question for you.

No. Because apparently everyone does this differently. It's like the same thing with like standing or sitting to wipe. When you are pooing and you like take toilet paper, do you scrunch it or do you fold it? I'm not an animal, so I fold it. I fold it.

Yeah, I make a swan. I make it. Yeah, I make a swan. You're a scruncher. I'm somewhere in between. I don't scrunch it, but I also don't fold it. No, I kind of just like. Do we have any toilet paper here that we could all demonstrate our techniques with? Yeah, we should get a roll.

So that we talked about this for. But it came up where somebody had to wipe themselves on camera for a short. And it was clear how they wiped themselves with them is very strange. We've talked about this a lot. Yeah, we've definitely talked about it before. So I think we've talked about wiping way too much

on this podcast. I've made an effort to try to sit to wipe now. Okay. You would stand up before? Yeah, not completely. I would just like kind of like hover. Yeah. But still be at like the sitting position

So now you just wedge your hand down the back. Well now I do like the tilt thing. I'm trying I'm trying a new technique Oh, he cares cats going crazy. So that gets out and got it's back to the wall or anything This is a stupid cat technique dude team over for life. My my cats. I do that for some reason Kind of like your cats. I don't want to like your cats, but I kind of like your cat Do you keep your doors close to the bathroom? No, you still definitely keep the seats down because I don't want them walking around in the bog war but yeah, so Joe the cat has developed this thing. I will put in my Instagram story He has developed this thing that I fucking hate what's your Instagram? Just Bernie. Oh, thanks

the Fucking hate. What's your Instagram? Just Bernie. Oh, thanks. Yeah. The, um, he's got this thing that I can't stand where he thinks we have this connection. Like, oh, this is our thing. I'm like, no, I'm not doing this. When I wake up in the morning, I, and I go to brush my teeth, he shows up on my counter and wants me to like turn the water on for so we can drink right out of the faucet. That's so cute. That's a really cute thing, have to think.

I fucked that! I'm not there to like, first of all, it's very inefficient with water, which is uncool, because the water runs for like 30 seconds when he goes, like, like. Well, it's no worse than a shower. Well, that's, I have to shower. Yeah, but what I'm saying is 30 seconds out of your tap,

it's probably like four seconds of your shower. Hey, your wasting, you're wasting water by not peeing in the shower. Could you just turn on like a little trickle of water that way it doesn't waste as much? It's, I do trickle, a little trickle. I'll video for it. But it's just like, I don't like, but then it's like, now it's got an appointment where it's like,

I stir at like six, 30 in the morning. I do a little rush. And then Joe is there meowing for me to get up and start the water so we can fucking drink. Are you just not giving him enough water? Yes, water every one. Get him one of those like aerating things. Try it. Got an Amazon but some fucking water found. Someone can look it up. I'm sure. Is it a piece of your hands can make a gif out of it. It's a it's a looks like a little flower and it like it's it's fresh water. Yeah, not good enough. It's not a flower. Yeah. See if there's a. All right a looks like a little flower. And it like, it's fresh water. Nah, not good enough.

It's one of the cat flower. See if there's a, all right, what do we got? What are we doing? What are we doing with this? All right, I'll hold it up and you tell me, you show me your technique. Oh, sorry, for you. Actually, I like the way.

How are you fucking hypocrite? You fucking hypocrite. It's all for a part of the conversation. So I go like this and then I go like that and I go like that and I go to stand out and then I'm good to go. Okay. That's it, right, Gus? I'm a civilized person. I'm very similar, but I don't like Feeling too much information on my anus. So I go for a much thinner. So I'll probably go like

And I'll get the five sheets by the way, which is I was actually trying to get four but five come off And so on the last fold. I'll just sort of like Curl it so it's fat and thin. And that way, there's enough blocker. That's not enough surface area. And then I just go like, yeah, I'm nervous about that lack of surface area. Look at the surface area.

I've never had an incident. See, I don't know why, because your anus is very small. Your anus is very small. I have ambition. All right, so this is you. Okay, I have to put myself in the situation. I never hit the edges of my face. Oh, yeah, I do like a scrunch fold.

I do that. Okay, sorry, you did that too fast. And that's totally a scrunch. I go like this. So Barbara is taking four sheets and then she scrunches her hands. Like she, I've worried about paper. Now what I'm worried about there is if you have a gap,

you're gonna miss a bit. I also have a sense of where my hand skin is and where my toilet paper is. Like I'm not like, what? And then if you and if I do get something on my hand, there's something called the faucet. There you go. See what's gonna love Barbara.

Who give, I mean, it's gonna happen, right? It gives a shit literally. Who gives a shit? Do you ever pay attention if it's textured side out or not take out? No, never. I started paying attention to it recently. Now you're gonna put that in my fucking head, dude.

So you want bummed-foot to do that. Bumps are better. Tense your side out is better. But what's the difference in the two sides? It makes a difference. Watch, fold it back the other way now. You'll know there's a difference. Fuck you, gosh, you ruined butt.

When you feel it on your ass, it's totally different, by the way. I do everything for you. Well, I mean, the bigger difference is the party. But it makes you think that's why they make it that way. Because every tooth, every tooth, every toilet paper brand is like that. We have one side that's rough and the other side that's not.

So it's more such a use of concave rough. Right, yeah, one that's rough. Well, my stretching, you get both sides. Oh yeah, it's totally different. Oh wow. Yeah, you've never thought about that before. Well, God damn it. See now you have other one. Oh yeah. It's totally different. Oh wow. Yeah. You've never thought about that before. Well, god damn it.

You know, I like other ones. I like other ones because the last thing I want when it comes to ball grow is ball grow. It's too slick. Like, I don't ever want to be like, blood to yell and like come off too fast. What's going on down there? How are you wiping yourself? Are you on the floor in the corner or something? You're like, what happened?

You're like a dog sitting your ass on the fucking rug. Because some people have the little butt crumbs on the back and I never wanna have that. I spend no time thinking about this. This is the most I've thought about it. Why do you get wet wipes? Wet wipes run out. Totally people run out.

Yeah, but trust me for forever. Oh, you're the one that's not logic. That's not logic. That's not logic. You could buy wet wipes. I don't use something that runs out. So wet wipes are not, apparently there's a huge dispute between plumbers and sewage.

They seem awful for the environment. Oh, apparently they've pulled out these wads of flushable wipes that have been multiple tons. Like these huge, like massive conglomerations of these things. So they have like Oh, before we get too far away from it. You're talking about the Chicago why we were all on toilets this time Chicago, oh here has the Part of humor the protective layer that rotates around

A mirror blooming felt years ago before blonde before vine made a super short YouTube video He was in Chicago, oh video where he was in Chicago. Well, and he was using it's called the Chicago. Oh, wait, maybe this isn't, I thought this was a mere blooming felt. Let me play it and see. We'll recognize his voice for this. I don't know.

I'll show it to you guys. Jake and a mirror. Come on, you don't know Jake and a mirror. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll fill this. All right, this is it. Hey, this is a toilet at Chicago airport. You wave your hand.

If I'm the sensor, you wait for the fresh circle. Tim. This is it Stupid We got call out we got call out for making a video in a bathroom stall and the parent was like hey, dude I got a little kid with Wow, I love that Oh, and you can tell he even shut off the video before the guy Probably trauma because he went I'm ready to take a huge shit Probably draw my time because he went I'm ready to take a huge shit Poor kid. I don't know why I remember that I don't know where I saw that posted for the first time I've never seen a toilet that does that. It's I've only seen that ever at the Shrugler Airport

I think that would just encourage people to take dumps on the seat And send them around like I think yeah Yeah, this is really not how people work. Oh, oh, this toilet has plastic wrap on it. Better take a shit on it. I've seen it. I'll tell you, bar.

We've seen that. I've seen videos of that. Whenever there's a new technology, I immediately think, how could I mess with this? Like how would I not? I'm gonna take a dump on it. Well, I wouldn't do it myself. It is surprising the number of people who will like shit

in a random place. I don't think I've ever like, I can come maybe on one hand when I was in a dire situation or was camping in the middle of nowhere where I didn't take a shit in a toilet. What did you put? Like in the woods, I'm trying, I can't even recall a time. Can you dig a hole?

Like, I guess we have camping in the building. I'm like making stuff up. I like have to, there's no clear memory of doing that. But there's people who are just like, oh yeah, I'll just shit in the corner here and just like, or grab it and throw it in the walls and stuff and stuff. It's like, what is that?

What is that? Animals. That's a part of your brain that's amazing. I think that's just, some people think poo is inappropriate when you do it in front of someone and some people don't and that's the only thing. Like I'd, like, like a dog, right? Like a dog doesn't give a fuck if you're watching a dog.

It's like, those people are like a dog. Just like looking you in the eyes and taking a huge dog. I know a friend who went on this like Lads weekend with some mentalists. And one of them, with a mentalist, one of them shit down the shower curtain because he thought it was funny in the place of staying in that.

And I was like, that's repulsive and I'm really glad I wasn't there. And now I don't like that person. Yeah. I wouldn't like that. That's fucked up. That's where you go to get clean. He wiped his ass on the shower curtain.

Oh. Nope. Nope. Like I was very offended by the RTA where Joel was in the shower, and I came in and I pissed in the toilet. And he said, as if he needed to make the story worse, he said that I came in and pooped.

I was like, that's ridiculous. I'm like, do you say that? I mean, I didn't do the thing where I wiped away the fog on the glass, kind of that was funny. But I wouldn't poop in the room with somebody else there. That's crazy. You even, I will say in your defense, you even have admitted in the past,

when you're in a hotel room, you'll leave the hotel room to take a dump in the lobby. I do. No, not the lobby, very specifically, the second floor, with the conference level. The mezzanine. Big secret for hotels, you go to the second floor, it's where all the conference rooms are. And. You go to the you go to the second floor. It's where all the the comfort rooms are

And if you go there in the middle of the night the bathrooms wide ball by itself super clean No fucking nuts, dude. I bet I went to a hotel just recently in New York. No, San Francisco oops I went to a hotel there at like one in the morning I went down to the second floor and I was like on the conference level and I was like, yeah, cool. And I say, there's a men's room. Went to open it. It was locked. It was a new mother fuckers.

What'd you do? I held it in. I was assuming I went to the lobby. I just pooped in the hallway. I put it in the nice corner and just fucking, wait for it. No, I forget what I did. I think I just went up to the room.

Does there ever been a time in your life where you've seen in a public restroom, like a shit so big, that you just, you don't know who, what human ass? Have I shown you the photo? Have I shown you the photo? Oh God, see this is it. See, I went to college with guys

who would send you photos of their poop. Is it yours? This isn't my poop. But I'm like physically. How many of you got to find, do you have it favorites? I remember approximately what date it occurred and it's sorted by date. You did so you have a picture of poop on your phone.

I have, you'll see. I'd rather not. I'll look at it. Okay. So take me a while, I'll find it. See you after that. What? I hope it'll take a long time. You don't have

it tagged. No, you're right. I should. Make it a market is a favorite. The golden rule. Oh, you can show this to Barbara. Barbara can't wait to see. Gus is handing Barbara his phone. Oh, no. What's what's going on in that picture? I don't know like this was at a public restroom in Sydney It's all upon the side the the door to the stall I didn't take a piss the door to the stall was open. I walk past the stall stopped turned around it went back because the with the image was so appalling Oh Oh my god. That's horrifying. How far in the podcast?

There were 40 minutes of the podcast. We haven't left the bathroom yet. What's going on guys? The golden rule should be, if poo is coming out of your anus, you're not funny at that moment. You can't be funny. There's no cool rule.

Anyone in the broadcast, if you have a bad gag reflex minimize slack right now. Oh, are you put, are you giving it to them? I'm just, for your reference, do not put it in the show. Why don't you, why don't you cut it out of the image so it's just white? Yeah, you can blur it out or something,

just to be like an idea of what the hell we're talking about. I was, I once walked in on a girl in a stall because she didn't lock the door, which is by the way one of my pet peeves. Yeah, I even be able to do that too. Because then you feel like the bad guy is everyone just seeing it now for the first time. It landed in the controller. And so I opened the door on this girl. This audible door.

Should I wait for a second? You're good. No, you're good. It's just about, I open the stall door, and there's this girl who has her legs open, and her head's like this, like looking between her legs. Like she's watching? Like, huh, maybe.

Well, she passed out. No, she was, because then she popped her head up when I opened the door. Peter, he made a guess. Help the, the fountain. Of course he did. Of course he did. I'm gonna read you read that.

Of course. The people, the guy's Johnny on the spot, dude. I'm sorry. So she was, what was she doing between your legs? I don't know. But I just, I felt so bad because you walk in on someone who didn't lock the door and it's your fault. All of that.

Maybe she was looking at, maybe she was just inspecting. Maybe she was just inspecting your general, which is a healthy thing to do. Maybe Joe, the cat has health problems. I agree with that. I was worried about it. So we took him to the vet to see if the drinking thing was a problem. And does he have a drinking problem? He doesn't have a kidney problem.

Is there an attachment for your tap that would let you control it from an app? I don't know about that. Because then you could just roll over, hit snooze, and then the tap would come on for like 30 seconds. That's your solution. So then like Joe, the cat will be trained to go wake Bernie up and then run hall ass to

the bathroom. Here, let me read this thing right here. What I'm wondering when this episode received podcasts is brought to you by Casper. Casper is an online retailer of premium mattresses for a fraction of the cost. Casper is revolutionizing the mattress industry by cutting the cost of dealing with resellers and showrooms and passing that savings directly to the consumer. Casper's mattress is obsessively engineered mattress at a very fair price. Casper's made a supportive memory foam for a sleep surface with just the right sink

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by going to Casper.com slash RT and entering promo code RT. That's Casper.com slash RT, promo code RT, terms and conditions apply, free shipping and returns to the US and Canada Casper's definitely one of the things that People here receive ask me the most about I think it's a great mattress. Absolutely try it out. I get one Right there Casper.com slash RT code RT. You get $50.00. I Can you tell them? Gus sent you all right. I love my Casper. It's amazing the great thing I like about it is that I always sleep on the same side of my bed no matter what even though I live alone

and it doesn't sink in like it doesn't leave a person mark like my other mattress did I also like that it's very Stable so like if I toss or turn or my wife toss in turn like it doesn't really affect the other person very much Yeah, like my old mattress was a fucking nightmare with that shit But not this one not Casper great. Have you Gavin have you or Barbara have you played any a player unknown battlegrounds? No, yes Hey, are you? What Yes, I just wanted to be included

It's fucking great. It is it's fucking great, I just wanted to be included. It's fucking great. It is. It's fucking great. I just started playing it yesterday. Have you guys not done achievement 100? Let's play in battleground? See that? Oh, they did. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. It's fucking awesome. So it's like everything that I liked about Daisy, but it works. I've seen some very funny clips from it. Yeah, it's like a game of funny stuff can happen. PC. I'm only playing PC. I actually just talked very funny clips from it. It looks like a game of funny stuff can happen. PC, I've only played PC. I actually just talked to Adam Beard and Ellis about building a PC for me.

We should play. I was talking about this. I was doing like a podcast, let's play with it. It's like the Hunger Games. Can you do a podcast, let's play with people who are on the podcast? Yeah, I feel bad stealing you to do it, though, because you do let's play during the day.

Are you saying that it's like two samey? Well, it's like, I don't want to keep you from doing an Achima Hunter let's play to come do a podcast, because you do let's place during the day. Are you saying that it's like too samey? Or it's like, I don't want to keep you from doing an Achima Hunter let's play to come to a podcast let's play. Does that make sense? That's fine. Content is content. Good, good to know. But it's like, it's kind of like the Hunger Games, right?

It's like a plane flies over an island and a hundred players drop out. You got nothing. So it's like, you land and you've got to find weapons and you've got to kill all the other players. Do you like that the weapons are, you can pretty much run into a building and find something? It's great.

Find something to get by. Like you're not in a building. It's not always the best. Somebody gets a sniper rifle and somebody gets a machete. It's usually you get something. Yeah, you get like a pistol or something. You fight with something. Right.

And then it's just like a matter of staying alive as long as you can and then as the game goes on, the playable area gets smaller and smaller So it's like you're forced to get into an area where everyone else is It's great like a bunch of rats. Yeah, what's it called again? Remember player unknowns battleground I'm in like a game. I think that you would like a lot Gus, did you like don't starve? I love don't start. Oh, I got a game. You should play it's called wild eight It's a Alaskan survival game. It's early access. We need a term now

that means I've played all my early access games to the point where they need to be updated for me to play them again. Like I'm waiting seven days to die. I'm waiting for them to patch it because I've done everything in seven days to die. I'm not with Astronia. Yeah. And you're just waiting for the Apache so you can have something new to do in the to die. I'm that way with Astrania. Yeah, and you're just waiting for the Apache so you can have something new to do in the game. And I'm like that with like five games at this point. The game I'm playing right now, I just can't get enough of is Pre.

Pre. It's the first game, so- Is it Pre or Pre? Pre. It's the first game since Portal 2. Where I just want to walk around and look at things. I just like, I love being in that world. I felt like I really liked that game early on,

but as time has gone on, like I'm starting to get, it's starting to wear on me a little bit. Oh, I'm not a foreigner. I think I got five hours in. I'm around there, maybe five or six, no, I'm probably seven hours. I've just picked up the mental stuff. Okay.

I can be a coffee cup now. No, that's a really great power, because it makes me realize how ridiculous it was early in the game Whether like just hide as best as you can in this room. You're like see hiding behind a chair. Oh, yeah It's funny. I gotta play it because my kids when I watch them play They're like no, no don't watch no spoiler for you I'm playing on PC and I have Dan next to me. He's playing on Xbox So I'm on like 4k on my PC and he's on It's it's so different

It's just no better. It's like it's way better on PC and I hate saying that no rainbow six is way better I'm easy to the next box. Oh god. Where the point where like Those games can barely keep up on console. They can be it looked it was like 30 FPS Super strobe because they add the motion blur, but motion blur on a low frame rate just makes me want to vomit. Motion blur on 60 FPS is fine. When they announced Scorpio, I thought it was too soon. Now I think it's, it's good time. Yeah, they need to get way better console out there. They just need up, they need like what the N64 did with the expansion pack. They just need that. You need to have modules. They need to

merge your way. You just every year you get one for cheap and you just slap it in and know it will send your consoles better. But it's like 50 bucks. Yeah. No, that's not going to work today. I mean, you think you'd have a lot of GPU in. Yeah, but then people would be like, oh, well, to play this game, you need the latest version of the stupid X chip and then all the guys sell it to people who have that. It's either that or wait four years for that X console. Right. They'd much rather do that. Yeah. Yeah, that's what they're the X-Consol. Right, I think they'd much rather do that. Yeah. Yeah, that's what they're doing already.

You wouldn't pay like 50 bucks to have your Xbox run twice for us. Don't be, I would. But I'm saying a developer won't make a game like that because they know that their market that they can sell to is extremely small. You're a small market. I have a small market, like someone person.

I can only buy so many games. I'm mostly basically describing a PC. So I'm going to get on this plane and I'm drunk. Luckily, I actually just can only buy so many games. I'm mostly basically describing a PC. So I'm gonna get on this plane And I'm drunk. Luckily, I actually just gonna drive me to the airport, but I got on a plane I was I was I was coming to Austin's coming coming back from LA and a guy was it was fucking I texted God texting me. Yeah, it was 630 in the morning and we were flying out of L.A. And I was I was lucky enough to be upgraded to first class where they give you basically whatever you want to drink and they said Do you want anything? I said, Do I want orange juice or water? I said, I take a water. I know what orange juice. I want to sleep

So take an orange. I take a water. I put it because orange juice keeps you up No, I just like calories. I don't need I don't like to take in calories and then fall asleep The vitamin C is good for you. That's sumo wrestlers do. So I'm at a job. The sumo wrestlers. But this dude next to me goes um Orange juice. That sounds good. Oh the screwdriver of a vodka and orange juice 630 in the morning. You don't know that guy might have been flying international. So I talked to the guy He actually I should say this., I didn't talk to him. He turned to me and explained himself to me.

Did he want to know that? He said my flight was bumped last night. So I ended up drinking all night. And so this is kind of a hair of the dog thing. I think it's fine. I don't think I was going to find the manifest from my flight. Dude, had four screwdrivers and then started drinking beers. That's a two hour flight.

Drank probably three or four beers and was totally lucid. I would have been like in the, I would have been the dude who dumps over the drink cart and peas on it, like that guy. Oh, a jar of beer. Oh, yeah, it was a jar of beer dude. Look, he pooped. You think about saying, you're slayering jar of beer.

I'm looking him up Derard somebody else somebody was some famous person who dumped over a drink carton boop Gerard there for your reason plan I know I like when you see a drink cart it was direct up or do you relieve himself in plain cap and

I fucking flander in Gerard Derard do you fucking get it himself he didn't do the put it was a disaster on a plane you think I don't know about it you All right, you're good. You're good. By saying corrected. Yeah, but this guy was like, this guy was serious fucking business.

This guy was. Coherent or like what was up with that? He was totally fine. I was less coherent just being tired. And he was using the entire bottle of vodka. Yeah, they just kept it thrown away. They just kept bringing him stuff. Some people like only pour a little bit

if they're fucking or she fuck you. Then you are full from, I mean, there's a big away. They just get bring him Some people like only poor little bit is their fucking orange Then you are from I mean, there's a big sense she's actually If you get a glass of orange juice and you pour a little bit of vodka into that and drink it You get another glass orange juice. He said for screwdrivers that could mean four glasses of orange juice with vodka in it This guy was pounding drinks dude. He was pretty look. I'm gonna have two beers right now That's different because it's a fucking bottle. So I did over. So is the vodka.

I did a shake off. I'm a cup. We need the, the argument. Oh, do I have a fucking cup? If it's orange juice here. I don't think this combination has happened on argument. Someone there's orange juice. I put a little bit of vodka in here.

I make a screwdriver. I drink it. Oh, there's still a little bit of vodka left in this bottle. Let me get another glass of orange juice and put some more vodka in here and drink another one. Say bottle, right? Just like this, say bottle. How many screwdriver's is that?

That's one, it's the bottle is one. Is the bottle one or is the cup one? The bottle, the bottle of alcohol because it's pre-measured, that is your drink. That is one drink. If you say, if you say it's a fight attendant, I would like one vodka, one vodka soda, they don't give you like half of a bottle, they give you the bottle. That's

one vodka. To pour in at your leisure. Otherwise they would mix it up. I realize that. Amp it up. Otherwise, they give you the fucking bottle so you could pour it yourself. Otherwise they would mix it for you. And that's one. They would just mix it for you. Yeah, you fucking Mexican. There you go. I helped you out there, bar. Thank you. Our Canadian brethren and our Mexican brethren, we're just like, you need to like, amp it up a little bit. Oh, I killed the mood with my racist shit.

You did. Sorry. Get a few drinks in you and the fucking, the truth comes out. Back to being offensive. Yeah. We're still drinking his one beer. I was trying to help and I only ruined things for everybody.

I was not always open. It'll be this week. It's coming this week, yeah. If Texas ever offers to make you one of the specialty drinks, don't fucking do it. No, definitely. What do you mean it's booze last time? Oh my God.

See, he would use two of those little bottles for one of those drinks and that would still be called one drink. I said, it's called a double. I said, what do you recommend? No, she's got a point there, though. What? Well, because the double is one drink. The double's two, that's why it's a double. It's a drink. It's a drink,. I said, what? Do you recommend? No, she's got a point there, though. What? Well, cause the double's one drink. The double's two, that's why it's a double.

It's a drink. It's a drink, but it's two. But you went all to two drinks. Separately, if you wanted a double. Some places they serve you the one and they give you the second and the sign you have to put it in yourself. But you wouldn't get two mixes with it.

No, cause it's a double. Cause it's one drink. Cause it's two drinks, cause it's two different servings of alcohol. This is now labeled the NAFTA podcast. Canada versus Mexico. Oh, fuck me, UK's over here now for some goddamn reason. Mm-mm.

Do you think we can make fun of Barbara for being Canadian more so that we can make fun of you for being Mexican? Like, it's more acceptable to make fun of Barbara for being a conuck. I think so. Is it? Yeah, because like all the stereotypes about Mexicans are super negative. And what's positive about Canadians?

Well, they're not like derogatory, other than like you have a funny accent. Sure. Well, that's still kind of being... Did everybody get on air when you were being olfussi and I called you a conunt? That's insane. I wasn't sure if that was like even you were like don't do that. That's great. No, I like that. That's really funny See now I'm on Barber side. I'm on Barber side. Thank you Bernie. Barbers team Barbara team Barbara I don't wait thing happened to me this week. I was filming with Dan doing some slums that is weird in the back

Got it some swalmos We're just like between videos setting up for the next one and he just took it did this like weird move where he was like And then he was like that was weird. I was like what what happened? And he was like I just had the sudden urge to hug you and I had to I was like come on head what he talking I was like I was about to walk up to you and hug you and I don't know why and I was like I said I haven't voice like never happened to me before There's weird Has it ever happened to you and hug you and I don't know why. And I was like, is that ever happened before? It's like, never happened to me before. There's a way.

Has that ever happened to you? Have you guys ever hugged? No, we're not hugged. What? Yeah. How long have you known Dan? 12 years? I've hugged you.

Oh yeah, we've hugged. Yeah, I've never hugged. Let me think about that. Can we make it happen live? I'm almost 20 years. On the podcast. Have we never hugged? We've never hugged.

I got criticized this weekend for being a one armed hugger. By who? You gave me a two? I'm almost 20 years on the podcast. Have we never hugged? We never hugged. I got criticized this weekend for being a one-armed hugger. By who? You gave me a two-armed hug. Are you two-armed hugged? That was a legitimate moment though. Yeah. Oh, what is going on here? It was nice.

Have we never hugged? We've never hugged. We have the perfect height too. You can hug each other really well. It's gonna be like a scene for a percentage of kids. It sounds like an extra life stretch goal. We'll save it for a few months. We'll have you hugged other really well. It's gonna be like a scene from a pathetic film. It sounds like an extra life stretch call. We'll save it for next one. We'll have you hug.

Oh, come on. Jeff, I'm sure you have. Drunkenly. I don't know. At his wife. Barbara or Gavin, you've worked really close with you. I hugged you. Oh, yeah.

Back when I was a fan. Oh, I mean, I've wrestled. Because I think I hugged you one time. And then I knew not to do it again. We had a horizontal hugs. Oh, that sounds bad. God, we wrest you one time and then I knew not to do it again. We've had a horizontal hugs. Oh, that sounds bad God, we wrestled one one time in London like Rune wrestled and then yeah, the next morning after fly out is he throwing the bathroom And I was like what the fuck am I so sorry like looking at my back in the mirror like bruised a shit

I'm really sore right now because we got a trampoline For a video and it's the most fun ever. I'm such a child I can I cannot stop going out into my backyard. I'm just bouncing around on my trampoline for a video and it's the most fun ever. I'm such a child. I cannot stop going out into my backyard and bouncing around on my trampoline. I ache all over from it. I was reading so the Daily Mail posted your video with the trampoline and the mouse traps. Slow news day. Did they link to you or did they like you? They did link to the video.

They did show a lot of screenshots but they did link to the video as well. And the comments on that were fucking awful. I had to text Gavin. I was like, I don't know how you can live with this. Like people just saying, like, do you have too much time on your hands or they don't understand how you have to use a fan? I'm like a GoPro could have done the same job or why did someone have to jump on it? You could have had the same effect by throwing a golf ball on all of them. I'm like, what the fuck are all of these armchair commenters doing here? Yeah. The too much three time one is my favorite. I know. As I'm like desperately trying to squeeze that video in

between another one and coming to work as well. Coming off a tour in a movie is great. No, it's nuts. You know, the thing too is like, it really drives me crazy about traditional media is that I don't think there's ever been an article about Slomo Guys or about russia teeth or any of our associated shows

where I can read the article in its entirety and they spelled everything right or they got all the facts correct. And at this point, Gus, I think it's gotta be fucking intentional. Yeah, because when we report on stuff, you know, or we put stuff in a documentary, we don't get everything fucking wrong.

And they constantly spell slow-mo guys wrong I think you guys were on ESPN and they said oh here's uh here's the slow-mo guy Jumping on the mouse trap. I just said a slow-mo guy or the slow-mo guy see that's more acceptable to me and even dropping the w That's acceptable a lot of times we just get called the slow-mo brothers And that's not written anywhere. No slow-mo, yeah. I think I'm using a warning bread. That's slow mo guy. And that's even, it's not a host. Saying it, it's somebody typed it out.

They had to get it fucking wrong. They had to get it wrong. And it's always a little bit wrong. It's not completely wrong. Just a little bit wrong. Like, oh, they have this popular web series called Red and Blues. It's not, it's, get it fucking right.

They'll spell Dan's name wrong. Every time. He'll be Dan Clefee. Every fucking time. I don't know if I should bring this up on the podcast or not. What? Gus will know what I'm talking about.

So a fan sent us a package. I know what you're talking about. And it had folders and binders for each founding father at the company. I had like a letter to each of them and some like stuff about them in each binder. Literally not one person's name was spelled right. I know the letter you're talking about, yeah.

Like no one, I think it was like, salora was you. Yeah, but this is a public. Palem, you were burning. Burning with an EM shirt, but there was a lot of work put in there. Oh. And like the package delivery was to me because I think they want to me to distribute it to people

And my name on the package was spelled right, but inside it says hello miss dunkelman and that's felt wrong and like everything Maybe that just dyslexic Maybe but it's like if you're probably doesn't work for a major news network. Yeah, I'm gonna guess it's totally right gonna Has it a guess, you know, I'd say I just don't know how they come They don't get other stuff wrong like they don't miss spell the name of it's like the press secretary for the White House You know nothing like you know what I mean It's like if they were poor of stuff. It's fucking right whenever they report on a web stuff. It's always fucking wrong It's like that conspiracy theory I had where I was convinced Jimmy Kimmel was trying to undermine

Internet video by making fake viral videos. Yeah. Remember he went on that stretch doing that? It's like, if he keeps making these videos, then everyone's going to think that no video on the internet is real, that it's all staged and it's all fake and made by someone else. Same thing. I just feel like if I'm going to be applying for a job or talking to a company that wanted to work for them, I would take the time to maybe spell our names right.

Maybe, maybe get it right. Maybe get, or if you work in journalism and you're gonna report on something, maybe get some of those things right. Yeah. Don't misquote everything. Which I can just mention in detail. Maybe paraphrasing, but mispelling people's fucking names

and the names of shows, it's like, why did you take time? Why do you fucking day to write this article? If you're not gonna get anything fucking right, or was it? There was a white ESPN had to live 100 on screen talent in one day. There was going out of business dying. You fucking cunts. There was that one the other day that said that a drum gamers only reviewed one

game ever and that Matt holam and Joel Heyman were contributing writers for it. That makes sense. No, I mean, the drunk gamers wants to cite. Thank you. We knew Matt and Joel back then, but it's different circles. And we tell that story a lot about the different circles. It's almost right. Groups of people coming together, but it's like that was like just before.

Yeah. I can imagine like getting like stories a little bit wrong, like they're getting retold. But like just misspelling stuff where it's the name of Gavin's channel is the slummo guys it's like and he calls it the slummo guy and it's just it's ever so slight it's just we don't give a shit by one letter you know what I mean it's that's it but they'll put it on their fucking network because it's content that people want to watch. I also got cool to Liam once.

Liam and Dan. I can see you being a Liam. Did you do an interview on through? Dan was called you. Someone called you like, it was like you and Jeff it was an interview at PAX. Oh God. No, no, no, they called me Fred.

They called me Fred. They said Bernie Jeff and Fred. I thought it was Galaust, it's not Gak. Gak is a fucking lot to the guy. I had a great uncle named Fred. Maybe that's where he got it from. Fred Sorolla. No, Fred.

Flynn Stone. Not one of the other names. Medina, I think. One of the other Mexican names. Like one of the other family names. Technically one of the other Spanish names I would go with. There you go. There's some Spanish names that are only Mexican

and aren't seen anywhere in Spain. I don't know, I've never thought about that. I don't know, Patrick, any idea? Definitely in South Island. Yeah, he has no clue either. Yeah, I don't know. And there's a ton of first names, like even though, because you always associate the UK and the US

is like, we're the same language. We just split apart, we live very far apart. But there are some first names that are so American. Like what? Like, Brett or something. Or Chad. What about Tyler? Yeah, all those.

I've never heard of it. Chance. Chet. Chet. Yeah, I guess. Isn't Chad supposed to be short for something? Chester. Is it?

I think so. Where's the last time we're in Chester? I don't think I know any. Chesterfield? Isn't Chad Chester supposed to be short for something? Chester. Is it? I think so. Where's Luster? Chester, I don't think I know any Chester fields. Isn't Chester? Chet is a masculine given name, often a nickname for Chester, which means fortress or camp. It is uncommon name of English origin. Yeah, they will die now, I guess.

Mm-hmm. Give me another beer. I'm not fine this plane. All right, I had a thing happen the other day. Well, I'm curious how each of you would have reacted in this situation. So I was on a phone call, and I was also going to the grocery store.

So I pulled into my local grocery store, and I parked not a very big grocery store. So I parked, finished my phone call, probably took me two minutes to finish my phone. Well, your lights still on? Not relevant to the story, but thank you for asking. Okay, for details. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was,

I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, phone call, I get out of my car. I start to walk towards a store. There's a guy standing there. I would describe this guy as being in his mid-50s. You know, well-established guy lived a lot of his life. So I'm walking towards the store and he goes, Hey, is that a custom paint job on your car? Because I drove my car there with the cell shaded thing. I said, oh, it's a vinyl wrap. And he goes, he goes, did you make it yourself?

And I said, yeah, I actually work in a film. So I had my art department, they made it. And then I had to print it and put on the car. And he goes, well, it's definitely different, isn't it? And I was like, did you wait here in the parking lot to just tell me that you don't like my car? And he goes, it could tell that guy was like, did you wait here in the parking lot to just tell me that you don't like my car? And he goes, he could tell that guy was like, nobody ever talked to that guy back.

Like you set that back, so? Yeah. And he's like, he said, no, I just noticed your car. It's different. And I was like, what the fuck? And we walked into the grocery store together, it's like, the fuck is wrong with this guy? Like, why would he sit around in the parking lot,

waiting for me to get out and tell me to- That's essentially insult you. Doesn't like my car in the most passive aggressive fucking way. That's really bizarre. What was he expecting you to be like, yeah? Yeah, no, it's different, yeah. Mm-hmm.

Sorry. They were out of the white color. I just really need attention, so. Apparently you do. I recognize you, we drove somewhere separately. We drove to the same place earlier today separately and I passed you. It has been an interesting. You didn't pass me when you came from the other side. In your Prius. Yes. I got there way before. Listen to me. You drove out of the parking lot before me. Okay.

And I followed you the wrong way to go to this place. That's not following. I don't know if he knows what following means. I did follow you. I went to write. Right. He went the wrong way. He went down Maynard. And we should have done it. And he went the wrong way.

And he was following you. Then he was following you. But he just went wrong. He followed me the wrong way. It's what he said. So he followed you going the wrong way. Oh, I thought you just said you can't follow someone going the wrong way. I thought you said he went the wrong way.

And then you went with him because you were like, I did. That's what I said. I thought you meant you went the wrong way while following me. No, he said you went the wrong way, and he's still following me. Well, that's different, isn't it? I followed you in a different direction. That's what I did, Gus.

You went the wrong way. You came from a different direction. I went the right way. You went a shitty direction. I went the fast. By the way, there is a street in Austin that my GPS cannot pronounce. Do you know the name of the street?

I bet there's a bunch of, I don't know what it is. He's Dawson. Petanallas? How do you pronounce CHI of, I don't know what it is. He's tossing. Pedernalis? How do you pronounce CHI, CON? Oh, oh, Chicon. Chicon. It's a Chicon street. Chicon.

Chicon. No, mind of the same thing. Turn that down, Chicon street. Does that make me glad, boy, boy? No, or in a few years it'll be the excepted pronunciation in Austin. Oh, it will be. Yeah. Just go down Chicon street. I gave you said earlier that you went down Maynor,

which is spelled manor. Anywhere else in the world that street would be called manor in fucking hipster, it's called Maynor. Unless it was someone's name called Dave Mayna and that's why it's spelled that way. Man, it's still fucking. How would you spell Maynor then? One of the first times I went to LA.

I was on the phone with someone asking for you. I was at that in and out by the airport. And I was like, yeah, I'm at the in and out. I love that in and out. The planes go right over it. I was like, I'm at the in and out on Sepulveda. It's like, what? The in and out in Sepulveda. Yeah. I don't know. I was like, the in and out by the airport. Okay. We'll see you there. They pulled up. They're like, oh, you mean you're at the in and out on Sepulveda? Sepulveda. Sepulveda. I was like, fuck you. Fuck, fuck, fuck, off. Fuck everything about this. It probably sounded like you were just breaking up.

It's a full pulvada. I didn't know that was how it was pronounced. It just looks like a Pulvada. Yeah, I've never heard someone pronounce it the way you do. I've only heard a GPS pronounce it. Fuck, everything about this. I'm sorry that we don't have the same accent as you guys. I mean, the thing that annoy me was being corrected

and told I was saying it wrong. Well, I think they probably meant it in a way where, oh, this is how I know the street to be and you said this other Oh, you're sure saying that different aren't you I just want to stand out here and tell you that you're really saying it different Didn't you say that with like most people say Montreal wrong? Yeah, and Toronto I For I just said wrong. As an American, I'm never going back to Melbourne, Australia, ever again, because you can't say it right.

Just say Melbourne, fuck it, embrace it. Exactly. If you say Melbourne, people go Melbourne. I say Melbourne. And then if you say Melbourne, they go, oh, Melbourne. Like they will even make fun of you for trying to pronounce it correctly. In Australia?

Yes! It's too much. You should pronounce it how you would read it. Melbourne. Yeah. Yeah. Because that's how correct and Australia. Yes. It's too much. You should pronounce it how you would read it. Melbourne. Yeah. Because that's how you pronounce Melbourne. Melbourne. I mean, I'd say it the way I said it

because that's how I'd read that word. I also change it based on how they say. Do you say Bartholona? No, but my mother was Castilian Spanish. Yes, it's Bartholona. She would always pronounce things with a list. I'm not saying it. That great, but.

I lost. Yeah, and you even like occasionally when we first met, you like you would tell me saying, like Spanish saying, I'm like, what the fuck are you saying? Yeah, because I would say it with a list. Or like, or you would have like, sayings from Spain. I'm like, I've never heard that.

Like think of the, or like the, the, the, Miracca Cosa. Miracca Cosa. Would that be like me, like if you, like we went to Lesta, right? How do you say that? I would say Lesta now, but I said likeister. What happened? Yeah, I a corsa. Me, like a corsa. Well that'd be like me, like if you, like we went to Leicester, right? How do you say that? I would say Leicester now, but I said Leicester. What happened?

How do you say it now? Leicester. No, but how do you say it now that you know it's pronounced? Leicester. Right, but you're putting a hard R on the end. I would say Leicester. Leicester. Leicester.

No, no, it's Leicester. Yeah. Leicester. But you don't, you don't read that way. So why would you say it that way? I just saying it's like Melbourne. I'm like, I give it up trying to meet you in the middle. I'm just saying Melbourne. Yeah, it's just weird.

Like everyone goes to Melbourne. It's like, oh, you're saying Melbourne wrong. But it's like, it's just a place name. Read it. Yeah, just, yeah, I don't get it. I don't understand it. But now for Montreal, people say Montreal. And then some other people who just said the same

or toy. No, it's Montreal, but some people say Montreal. Oh, it's like, I'm like, I would say Montreal. Montreal. Yeah, it's Montreal. And then, Toronto. Toronto. People who are from Toronto don't say the T. Oh, so it's Toronto, not Toronto.

Yeah. That's just one thing. It's just an accent thing. No, it's just an accent thing. Yeah, if someone says Toronto, obviously you're no, obviously Toronto. I would say Toronto. Toronto.

Yeah. It sounds like you're throwing a mixture of syllable in there. No, I'm taking, yeah. Toronto. Yeah, it sounds like you're throwing extra syllable in there. No, I'm tight. I'm yeah, right. Or if you want to get really into it, you got Toronto. Toronto. Where you going? In vacation, Toronto. So I'm going to pack. Australia to the keynote after I just said I'm never going to my ocean. I will go to Melbourne, but I give up. I'm trying to pronounce it in what is that proper way? That is October. So I'm stuck with an interesting scenario. So by the way, I just want to say I have I have the greatest assistant in the world. Ellie is awesome. She's like, it's like taking Gavin and Barbara and going mush and making one another new person. So just the accent from Barbara, but all the personality

traits with me. What? To Gavin. She Jewish with the accent of Barbara Jewish. It's all the good accent of yeah, I don't personally Sorry Oh wait Yes, because those were the only Jewish people who watch our podcast I always feel bad I don't know whatever I make a Jewish joke I feel bad for like your parents are gonna For all the suffering suffering and that also hey listen. I'm I'm have to on my mother's side that makes me that you know of me yeah so she's she's us mushed yeah so wait wait so she's British she's your favorite Brit she it's close to it's close it's close we can't have that much progress

such a little time we're gonna have to have that. We're gonna have to have so much progress in such a little time. We're gonna have to have some sort of British off. So, I'm doing the keynote for Pax Australia, which is at the end of October. And then we're holding an event in a place you might know called London. It's in the UK. London. RTX.

Not London. RTX London. We're having our event there. And that is something like two and a half weeks before Australia. So it's enough time to wear coming back to the US. Let me tell you something. You do not want to go from the UK to Australia.

But no, but we go somewhere else or the other way around. And then do a fun thing and I'll go to Australia from there. So. Wait, so what's the order? It goes to the UK first. UK first. London. London. And then we can about two weeks. I think it the order? It goes to UK first. UK first, gone done, gone done. And then we can about two weeks.

I think it's like, it's about two days. It's like 11 days. So it's enough time to if I came back to the US and be like, I don't know. I know. Yeah. Or move on and go to Sydney from there via somewhere else. I don't know where.

You mean Melbourne? I said, Sydney, but I mean, Melbourne. Well, you would fly in Sydney first. That was really. There's a direct. You know where I've always wanted, but I'm at Melbourne. Well, you would fly in Sydney first. I'm a Sydney. No, not necessarily. There's a journey over Melbourne from some places. You know where I've always wanted to go that I've never been? There's a non-stop from...

It's a little place called Africa. I've never been to... Can I go there? Can I come with? You want to go to Africa? Yeah, because I've never been. I'm trying to convince Gavin to go with me to the South Pole of the Earth.

That Earth. That's a post-to. That's a post- to. And we'd have to go. So according to Brandon, you're going to the North Pole. No, it's a magnetic North Pole. There's many YouTube videos to be made around the South Pole. Like you could do everything that's been done on YouTube, but just at the South Pole. Yeah. Fidget spin it at the South Pole.

Check that out. Billion views. Thousand degree just at the South Pole. Yeah. Fidget spinner at the South Pole. Check that out. Billion views. Thousand degree knife at the South Pole. There you go. And at the South Pole with a thousand degree knife. Hydraulic pressing the South Pole. Can we film an eyes open at the South Pole? 10,000 calorie meal at the South Pole.

Yeah. It's just waiting for someone to get there. I want to see the evolution of penguin dance. And then we could react to all of those videos. We could just react. And then we'll just watch the videos we make. Ha ha ha ha. So I really do.

I do got my style. This year before the vlog is done, I want to go to the South Pole. It's one of the things I want to do. It's too expensive, but it is horrifically expensive. But you also Africa, though, right? Yeah, I want to go to Egypt. But that would check off all the continents for me.

I want to do a picture too close to the pyramid Did you go to Ellis Island? It was raining didn't go okay Gamm was gonna go all the way to Ellis Island to take a picture with the statue of Liberty too close to it worth it It's like a Brooklyn bridge. We were next to it. I'm sorry No, Alan is going to the statue of such a waste of time. It's so I've heard it's crap And you're much better just looking at the statue of Satchel waste of time. It's so bad. I've heard it's crap, and you're much better just looking at the statue a little bit from the jersey or wherever.

Wait, what's it closest to? New York, can you just... It's probably closer to Manhattan, I think. All right, well, yeah. I've still never been to the arms, I heard it was shit, but I do want to take a picture right up to the base of the statue a little bit is. Like by the toe.

It'll just be a wall. You can't even get up there, can you? That's so. It'll be like a marble wool probably. Can, do they still let you get in it, or is that over? What? The crown? Statue of Liberty?

Yeah, so you crawl up in size, is that real? If you want to, if you want to be able to, I mean, if you want to go to the crown, it is about three to four months in advance. There's two things. The crown of the Statue of Liberty and Alcatraz. You got to, if you're going to go to either of those places, don't expect to book the same month.

You got to book months and months in advance, and you can't like, scalp the tickets, because they're tied to your driver's license. You're like, well, went to Alcatraz Day of. And you paid the day of. What does that mean? Wait, yeah.

What does that mean you went to Day of? Because of course you go to Day of. You always go to Day of, you're going. We would just like, you want to go to Alcatraz? Let's go. And when was that? April of last year. Oh, okay.

Maybe I'm thinking about the night thing. Oh, the night thing. Yes, that's what you thought. Yeah, that's the thing that's in my demand. Except I went a night. So I thought it was the night thing that was hard to get to. All right. Barely Gavin is fucking special.

Maybe he just went on a slow day. He knows the slow mo guy. A slow mo guy. He knows the slow mo guy. No, that beer's mine. You have another one. Get your own beer. Get the fuck off.

You can have free beer in a, there's like a fucking hour on the plane. Hey. That's all. Party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party Oh, let me remind you this podcast is also brought to you by NatureBox. Might be the best segue in Gus' history as host. What do you do when you want to snack? But all you can find is junk food, rely on yourself control to resist the temptation. Please, you eat the junk food. So start snacking healthy with NatureBox.

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viewer pointed out to me, Bernie, the Statue of Liberty is not on Ellis Island. What? Oh, right. It's actually not. Right. Ellis Island is the immigration point. Yeah. Wait, what? What? But he was saying the entire time we're in New York that he was going to Ellis Island. So I got it in my head. Which one is such a liby island? It's just statue of liberty. You go to that. Ellis Island is different. They didn't run head. Which one is such a liby island? It's a statue of liberty. You go to that. Ellis Island is different.

They didn't run all the immigration literally at the feet of the statue of liberty. I just thought the statue of liberty island was Ellis Island. Oops. It might crunch. Why do you think that? Why did you cheat me? This is so good.

Well, you still have liquid in it. You put it on top of me. Yes, it was. Oh, my God. I wasn't worried because I thought it was empty. I didn't think it would actually fall on me or my laptop. Well, you this is a liquid in it you put on top of me I wasn't worried because I thought it was empty. I didn't think it would actually fall on me or my laptop Oh, that would have been bad. Yeah, I guess my laptop. It's got time machine. I fucking love time machine I can't believe it was not easy waste to back up everything like that. I don't use time machine Nothing I need on it. So on external drives That way too big to be back to him.

He's just here. All right, just open the door. One that's yours. All right, I'm drinking up. You got to, you got to fly. You got to get ready for it. You know, be super happy. Actually, I actually like to when I get drunk. Really? What did you make her happy more? Because you're an answer person that I'm drinking at a bar and I'm gun. Oh, it's really starting to hit me. I'm getting a little tipsy. Because you guys, just like this.

She goes like this, she goes, I'm like, what's your goal here? Think you're trying to get me in bed? It's like, that's like, I don't need to be drawn for you to get me in bed. Maybe you're starting to realize you're more fun when you're drunk. Oh, oh man, she's over.

So we're earning. She likes you when you're drunk. Do you like how is she's drunk? Dude, she was certain level. And then it gets off the fucking. That's anybody, right? I guess so. Yeah.

I like even my... No one's fun when they're two drunk. Even my two drunk is super sloppy. The thing that I don't like about me being drunk is I think you fall into a very specific category when you drunk. Either a angry drunk or like a laughing drunk or a funny drunk. I am a dumb drunk or a loud drunk. I hate loud drunks. I'm a laughing drunk or a funny drunk. I am a dumb drunk or a loud drunk. I hate loud drunks.

I'm a dumb drunk. I get super dumb and it's like, I get so mad at myself the next day because I'm like, this is so fucking dumb. What's the dumbest thing you've done when you were drunk? You're the full-crumb. Yeah, that was pretty dumb. That was pretty dumb.

Yeah. I've done a lot of dumb stuff. I'm gonna lot of dumb stuff, and it makes me so mad at myself. One happy thing. Let's embrace it. One thing I'm glad about when I'm drunk, lot of dumb stuff. I'm gonna a lot of dumb stuff right now. It makes me so mad at myself. One happy thing. It's embracing. One thing I'm glad about when I'm drunk, I never do stunts. Wait, yes.

That's what you never do stunts? Like some people are like, oh, I'm gonna climb up to the top of that roof. I've never never, like even. I hate those types of drunks. I could be the drunkest I've ever been and I will not put my body in danger. Yeah, I'm gonna be about that.

We know a guy who's like that. I had so many friends in college who they were type, the type of drunk who would wander. And I was always the person who'd have to look after them. Oh, God. And they would just wander away from me. And I felt, feel responsible. Oh, that's for mind to me of this, this ad in the UK.

You know how we had all this like, shock ads where it's like a gruesome car crash or something? There was one for being drunk and like, thinking you're a superhero. And it actually starts like with a superhero guy reaching up to get this balloon for some like ghost or something, there was one for being drunk and like thinking you're a superhero and it actually starts like with a superhero guy reaching up to get this balloon for some like girl or something. And he's in a superhero costume and then it just cuts to him

just as a normal bloke falling and like smacking himself. Oh gosh. It's like an crumpled heap of the botmys, like you know I'm invisible when you're drunk and it's just like oh. And you think the advert's going somewhere else because it's just a superhero grabbing a balloon. Is there something you enjoy doing when you're drunk more than you like doing sober. Yeah drinking running Running for me it's dancing

Dancing is so fun when you're drunk. Yeah, cuz you give up. Oh, is there anything I do when I'm drunk that I don't Ain't no Is it something you're doing? something that you use it to? Oh, sure. Dude. I thought you were referring to us as dudes and then you were going to tell us something. Dude's exclamation mark. Dude, I blew a guy.

That was the rest of that story. So you never made out with the dude, or like moved on the dude when you were drunk. Have you ever kissed a guy? I don't even made out the word. I think I've kissed a guy, but it's always been on camera stuff. I don't think I've ever kissed a guy. I have seen a lot of people,

any amateur situations, switch their preference. I know gay guys who get straight. Yeah, we know one guy guy who gets super straight. Is he not just maybe bisexual? Just whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna get more fluid in that. Everything's fair game. No titles. He's fluid. Bonded with people around him. Did you see that thing, that story, that I guess, there apparently there's a company that owns the MP3 license

and they've just said it's over. What? No more. No more make it MP3. No more licensing MP3. MP3 is dead as a format. What is the traditional format now, the standard format? They said now to use AAC.

Okay, sure, okay, let it go. What does that say for audio? Advanced Audio Codec, I think it's what it is. Oh. Which is fucking stupid, because Apple stopped supporting enhanced podcasts in GarageBand. We stopped making an AC format version of this podcast because of it.

What is that after with the AC? So this is MP3 now, and I see. This is MP3, yeah. What's wrong with MP3? Apart from it's really compressed and shit. That's it, if you nailed it, it's the one thing you need to know. The problem with MP3 is there's no DRM. Apart from it's really compressed and shit. That's it if you nailed it. It's the one thing you don't. The problem with MP3 is there's no DRM.

So that's, I'm sure it's all motivated by money. It's all motivated. It's not just as I'm in a paid right there. It's all motivated by companies that want to lock down content. But do they have any authority to say that? Like can the USB guy go, I mean the GIF guy can say the call stuff GIF. And it was like fuck you you it's GIF. Yeah, it doesn't have like a fucking license.

Does MP3? Yeah, there's a company that owns, what is it? Is it soaring set? No, it's like throwoff for something. Oh, they don't. Okay, yeah. Brilliant. Throwoffer.

MP3 player. Did they get money for every MP3 player? How did they not get sued by the RIA? I think what they were doing is waiting for MP3 to spread so they could strike and sue everyone at once. I never realized how similar RIA is to RTA. Oh, it's just a cross that you're missing. Yeah, what's a cross on the T-code?

A cross? A twiled it. Anybody wanna go to LA? Come on, first one you're playing instead of you? No, in addition. Oh, did you know one? Do you know if you remember this one time you gave me your first class seat? I did. I don't know if I remember that. No, tell me about it. We're on a flight and Jordan was going to be on that flight too, but you didn't know if she was necessarily coming on that trip or not. Yeah, but she had a seat in economy. And so you switched with me, so you could sit with her,

and you gave me your seat. Join us with? No, I would have been saying her. That's why I like this way, I asked. Oh. I wanted to make sure you said she like three or four times, and I would say that. So I also, so this is the thing that happens to me on a regular basis, is if I don't do it so much anymore, honestly.

But when a military person would get on the plane I would give it my first class seat to them and Gus and Jeff would be like, you're a fucking idiot. Give it your first class seat. I would always do it. It's nice of you. Now, but sometimes I'll do that to you like, I'm just an asshole. At least Jeff was a vet. Yeah, he's just, he's an hypocrite. But the, we ran into a really weird situation where the we ran into a really weird situation where Actually came to San Francisco for the vlog that we did She came to the to the trip as well, but she kind of did it last minute

And so Ellie and I were booked on my itinerary Mm-hmm and Ashley wasn't and in all of a sudden I got upgraded. I was like oh my god Did Ellie get upgraded and Ashley didn't how are we gonna fucking tackle this and I envision this scenario or I was like, oh my god, did Ellie get upgraded and actually didn't? How are we gonna fucking tackle this? And I envisioned this scenario where I was gonna end up a coach in the two of them on the yellow squares. But actually because of our new stupid travel system, we have it, researches. So stupid. Which we're supposed to get feedback for, but I thought I'd just talk about it on the podcast. It's fucking sucks. Oh, you use it, huh?

Ellie was booked on a, no, Ellie does. So she was booked on a separate itinerary, so she didn't get upgraded when I got upgraded. Wait, what's this in travel system? Oh? Eugenics. What's called? Eugenics. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We'll see it's just like it's mostly what make everything better Genchent Genchent better. We have yet to see that but we'll find out. I Yeah, I walked in for so we did save me a hassle, though, of having to deal with that scenario.

When they launched using that, it was people looking at the point on that, they said, if you have any questions, talk to Bethany or Steph. And like the day it launched, I walked into Bethany's office. It's like, so all the airlines on this thing, huh? She goes, yeah, every airline,

anything you want to book. So I looked up around, and I was like, it's no Southwest. She was, oh yeah, well, that's coming soon. I was like, so, is it not every airline, anything you want to book. So I'd like I looked up a route and I was like, you know Southwest, oh yeah, well, that's coming soon. I was like, so is it not every airline? She was, well, it's most of them. Why don't you say most of them? All right. Do you want to fly Southwest?

There are certain routes I fly Southwest. Like Austin to San Diego or Austin Vegas. Yeah, maybe a direct. Not stop. They do a non-stop direct. I would love a time in my life where I'm not like a travel nerd I miss those days. I'm so like it was fun to travel when I was like, oh, what's all this crazy crap?

I Know for you. No, I think if I didn't fly for like 10 years. I'd be new coming in for I'm so enjoyed every time to meet every time and still I'm the same way to you But Gavin did post something the other day, which I think illustrates where he is in life where It was after the it was after the Let's Play Live tour. And Gavin was at home in Austin, was Meg there as well? What are you told about? So you made a tweet where you said tomorrow is Saturday

and is the first Saturday that I can remember where I don't have to set an alarm. I can just go to sleep and wake up whenever I need to wake up. Yeah. And it was like refreshing. But I get it because I know what your life's been like for the last three months and you haven't been able to do that a single day in the last three months. Turns out don't need an alarm because my cat will wake me up. He was drinking water. No matter what. I did something the other day at an airport

that you talked about. Oh, you signed the seat? Oh, nice. How many seats did it take? It took me three. Three. Gavin does this thing where sometimes in airports, he'll try to find a seat that faces the direction

of Austin that take a screenshot of Google Maps. Yeah, he tweeted about that one time. And this was at a time I didn't have Google Maps. So I just tried opening Apple Maps. And I was like, why isn't it? It's not showing an arrow anywhere. This is just the top. And I was just spitting in circles with that little dot.

You see, that's a really sad thing. And I hate that, I did that. That's the games I have to make up in my head when so much time at Apple. So yeah, it's horrendous. There's someone just posted an animated gif of during the Ruby season one live stream when I walked in and kissed Kerry like in the middle.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was a long time ago. Nice moment. He tasted like baloney. He probably just had a sandwich. Maybe he did. Because I haven't seen that in six weeks.

No regrets, man. No regrets. Okay, it's good. He looks fresh. He does? Yeah. Hmm. Oh, you like properly bent him back like. Yeah, give him a little bit. He's bull., there it is. There it is. So you like properly bent him back like yeah, give him a little bit these bull come on

Wow You know what room was that that's a six to be six Animation studio. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you see the double doors. Yeah. Oh, yeah God that it's not my head that's that place is so much bigger than it was it's been so long Yeah, it's been so long. I was thinking about that earlier. We've been now in this building in stage five three years. Yep That's crazy. It's a long time. We I feel like it was just I feel like it was only maybe a year ago We did like the moving podcast and the you haul over there. So we've been in this building longer than we were in Longer than I was in six or six, I guess

Because I've been here for five and a half years. We think we were four or four years at six to be six I'm talking about me Barbara Duncan. We think we were four years at six to be six. I'm talking about me, Barbara Duncan. You think we're gonna push it out of here? That parking lot makes me nervous. It's full now. It's full again. Not full, but they took away like three, fourths of it. Yeah, I mean, people look at Google maps and see it.

Google maps and see it. Wait, what happened? Go look at the back parking lot. It's gone. The housing development behind our studio. So the studio where we live, the campus is owned by the city of Austin. And we rent it from the city. And there's a big development that's going on where they're building a bunch of houses

and commercial development as well. There's a very cool new alamo as part of that. But we came to work one day and like half of our back parking lot was gone. Like the fence was suddenly way closer to all the buildings and now they're building houses there. I just wonder what happened to all the trucks that were parked back there. Don't know, all the transportation trucks for the films?

Yeah, I have no fucking clue. I'm also wondering what's gonna happen when those people fucking move into those houses and we've been here for years and they're like, yeah, they were making loud noises at two in the morning. It's like, that's kind of what we do. And it's us to change.

But yeah, we'll have to suddenly not explode stuff in the parking lot. I was blowing up so much stuff out there. Yeah. I was out there the other day watching one of those machines like eat up the gravel. And if you saw it, it was like, it was like this huge heavy machinery that just like went around and it's like,

boom, boom, boom, boom, like, eat up all the parking lot and was just breaking it up. And it looked like one of the robots from Horizon Zero, Don and me. Like it was just out there. Like it was like grazing on the parking lot and just eating the parking lot and spitting it out. I saw him play that game. It's so much, so much to me.

It's so much to me that the military members in the uniform are not supposed to accept anybody else's seat on their plane. Really? Which this was years ago when I felt like I saw people, I feel like I haven't done it in a while, but whenever someone to fly in uniform, I feel like that's less frequent now.

It used to be very, very frequent that someone would fly. And in fact, I was wondering, why the fuck are we flying active military people on commercial airlines? So like, isn't it not, don't they have planes in the military? You know, I wonder about that. I feel like I don't see that as often. They do have a section on American Airlines

where they ask people to board. So someone on the check-in machine it says, are you US military in uniform out of uniform or no? Can I be honest? I don't like that. Right. It seems like a weird question to ask every passenger. Are you a member of the military?

It should just have like a military button that you press if you are checking it. Because it applies, it must apply to like 99% of people who are checking it on military. I see. Maybe more. Yeah, so weird things were applied to everyone. Oh, somebody said, previously I said

he tastes like salt and vinegar chips. That's what he tasted. Yeah, when I kissed him. Salt and vinegar, but it just makes sense. Carry this. I assume it's just a respect thing when they put that for everyone. Like really making sure that the military people feel

like they're being thought of. What kind of chips are those? Salt and vinegar, vegetables? But veggie chips are what? Like, I think the one I have, I mean, the table chips are veggie chips. Terror root, there may be some other ones in there. So potato will vegetable?

It's a tuber. This bit is terrible. And a YouTuber? This bit of taste of the cat. It's like metallic. This bit of chip lost that revenue. We met some people at the creator of someone who had lost Gus.

Ew, that's terrible. They lost eight, that's awful. Someone is gonna have to fucking clean that up. What's the bug? Well, we're gonna go bar. We're I thought he would catch it No, we're gonna have people would lost 85% of the revenue guys. Jesus. 85% they were making 15% of what they normally made. I know a 3 H3 had a discussion about that, you know, but finding other ways to Focus their their energy like even. Yeah, I'm a I spent a decent amount of, you know, but finding other ways to focus their energy.

Like even. Yeah. I spent a decent amount of time with him at the creator summit. I like that guy. Yeah, I felt bad for him. He had that kind of expose about the YouTube ad revenue on racist comment that ended up being debunked.

And he had to like take that video down and go back on it. Content ID. But it was still, like it was still, it seemed like at least he's trying like take that video down and go back on it. Content ID. But it was still like it was still, it seemed like at least he's trying to get to the bottom of it and investigate it. I feel like when your bread and butter is the hot button issues of YouTube, you're going to step in some stuff occasionally. Like I think Phil DeFranco does a very good job of navigating that.

But that guy has a level of experience on YouTube that not many people have. Yeah. It's a complicated platform. Croshing on not many people have. Yeah. It's a complicated platform. Crossing on Patreon, by the way. Yeah. For the Frank, a lot of Patreon. It'd be number one on there. Oh, no, no, I don't think there's any question at this point.

Yeah, or, yeah. So he did a thing where he hid his total dollar amount. Yeah, I think you should do. I think everyone should do. What? It wasn't an option at the beginning. It wasn't an option. So I think it's unfair to people who started earlier

that they can't choose to do it without like it being an event, but it's kind of normal to hide your money. Like that's kind of a weird thing. Like I think everyone should hide their money. Well, I love the time, the audience appreciates transparency where you can give it.

And I feel like if you can give it, then do they expect it? I know. He's got 15,000 patrons. That's a lot. Over 15,000. That's a lot. How many does that?

Those are monthly patrons. How many does Colin have? Looking at him. I'd be curious to see that. I don't know. But he has quite a few as well. Six thousand. Okay.

So double. Double Colin. Yeah. It's nuts. And in a particular perspective, 32,000 people supported laser team. Okay, so double double colon. Yeah, it's nuts and in perspective 32,000 people supported laser team and we broke a record for crowdfunding on Indiegogo and You know if that that was a one-time event. This is a monthly subscription Yeah, we've been doing we've been doing business for

15 years. I think the last numbers. I don't know what the last numbers release were, but I for 15 years. I think the last numbers, I don't know what the last numbers we released were, but I I should be careful. That we have, anyway, I'll be careful. What we said last for subscribers on Rishuji, but we have a published number for the monthly subscribers on Rishuji. Yeah. Yeah, it's weird when we see that now. I felt like, yeah, we didn't talk about that for a long time and now like, it's a number. You can Google it and look it up. I don't know what it is. And if you're watching right now live, you're one of them. Thank you.

Thank you. We appreciate it. All right, let's time your abtus up. Bernie is gonna get to the end of the plane anyway. That's true. Oh, look at me. I do, it's so that you don't extend and say, not yet. I do want to remind everyone if you're watching right now,

stay tuned after the credits for a little sneak peak of CCTV, which is C chops new podcast, which will be starting up next week. Until then, we'll see you guys next week as well. Those guys are fucking weird. Bye. Do you like apples? Alright, example. Together in Trempathos, Characombs, Characombs are free to deal with nothing to do with this podcast. Analyze various unsolved and rooster-teeths cryptic podcast. F*** face.

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