Rooster Teeth Podcast - Gus Does What Gus Wants - #425

Episode Date: April 18, 2017

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It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers, Will Arnett and Anthony Mackie comes the new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motor-mouthed outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church, twisted metal, streaming now, only only on peacock. Oh, you're... Ah! Hello, welcome to the RISC podcast. This week brought you by Pro Flowers and Squarespace. There's Squarespace, that's Pro Flowers. We'll talk more about them a little later. I'm Gus, you're Nick.

Hi Gus. I'm Tim. See, there we go. I'm Barbara. I forgot, man, not everyone knows. I'm Gus. Not everyone knows. I'll go through.

I like to be introduced, guys. I'm sorry, I don't introduce myself. The one and only. Nick's Carpeano. Woo! I give him the deal, clap. Got one, you.com. And it's's levelable sidekick, Tim Getty. Yeah, that's how it should be.

We will be confused at multiple points of the show. I believe it's the producer slash producer and the pure one. Yeah, but see, it's confusing because I'm more in his thing. It's true. He's wrapping my brand. How did you get the nickname the pure one? Because back when I first started with podcast stuff, I was super pure.

I didn't drink, you know, it was really not really sexually explorative. And then I just, you know, hit the one that this guy, I would see. I would see a girl walk by to like, Tim, that's a nice looking woman. I just walked by and to be like, I'm blind. I can't see anything. I can't see anything. I'm like, gotta hit you. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a cool shirt though. Oh, yeah, this is, uh, this is Lawrence's shirt. I'm not, so again, again adding the confusion the quintessential gamer Yeah, they'll do terrible. You get that Ruchitita comm slash store today Lawrence is like the fun house version of me. So it only makes sense that yeah, the Ruchitis version of Lawrence We need we need a dope ass like 80 style shirt that has lots of pink and teal on it. Oh wait, we got one too My one Mike give me the one there it is I got that broad test start off

Move that my those pushups are working by the way because you're you're your conical boobs are starting to go more into like a pectoral muscle Look, which is nice even in pushups. Yeah every day an alarm goes off and everyone in the office has to do pushups and everyone in the office has to do push ups. How often did you get the alarm go off? Once a day? Once a day? Yeah, yeah. I actually just got a text from any courtes that said the alarm just went off.

You better get on there. But I don't know. Is that a thing? That's not a thing. That is a floor. That's all you need to push up. That's all I'm trying. How many do you have to do?

As many as you can. 10? 10. Whatever you want. I feel like you've been doing it for a week. You should go for 15. All right. Can we get a shot of this? There it is.

The jute is out of place. That's okay. There's one, two. You're doing so great. Three, four. He's buckling a little bit. Five, six, seven, eight, nine. Give me 12.

10. Two more. Come on. Are you exempt from the b-shock of Nick? Yeah, he is. Why is he exempt? The old people don't need to do it. So, well, he just left me out of this.

This started happening. And maybe I was gone for a day and then all of a sudden they're like, well, you didn't start at the beginning. It's like when you missed the development for school and you don't know fractions the rest of your life. That was exactly what happened. Yeah, exactly.

And everyone in Spanish. We're training to be the new funhouse. You know, that's how we do it. 10 pushups a day. 10 pushups a day. It's funhouse, particularly known for doing a lot of pushups. No, they're just known for being super buff.

Are they? Oh God, they're so meaty. Yeah. Have you never noticed that they're all super buff? I know, I like really meaty. I think James is like the most buff, right? James is one of the most cut, but Covex got a lot of girth to him.

He does. Yeah, and I just saw on his Instagram, he was like, this is me at 185, this is me at 205, it's time to lose weight. And it looked exactly the same. He didn't look exactly the same. He's a buffer. There's some difference in that picture in his lower region where he's packing some heat.

Wait, he's packing heat? He's packing heat. I don't qualify guys like that. Like lower region like, like crotch area? Yeah, and I'm also out of breath I could see the look in your eyes your eyes are just like I would be like that after one. Yeah It's not it's not happening. Have they ever seen you do a push-up? I feel like I have at some point do we want to see Gus? No, I'm not doing a push-up. I'm not in the chair

I'm not doing the chair You know my butt is stuck in the chair. I'm getting the crew wants to go to my butt. I got stuck to the chair. Push up. No one's cheering with us. It sucks. It's a pure pressure. I'm dealing with us. Years of, uh, yeah, they got a lot of me. I can be, I can be, I can be a fucking diva if I want to.

Oh, yeah. Bullshit. I bullshit. I'll make their life difficult. Gus does what Gus wants to do. And I appreciate that about him. He's own like space now. We're like, how come out of this? This is your office, we walk in, and it's this gigantic room, tiny little desk, all hairless cat just runs across.

I made the cat part up and the desk part up. But it's a big room. But I just love that you have like 10 gameplay stations and you're one man. Yeah, it's different games play on each one of them. You're just kind of running back, kind of. We were plotting them a lot. We were trying to, we released, we used to do podcasts,

let's play, it's like for the podcast crew and we released those every so often. It wasn't a regular thing. And I wanted to start trying to do it again. So we released one this past week in Barbrave was in that. We did a usual work. I sure was. So it was like a bunch of words.

I used my words. It's a brittle floss. Kind of a knock off jack box game. Yeah. But it was like, I used my words. It's a brittle floss. Kind of a knock off jackbox game. Yeah, but it was fun. I started building a narrative about the game, about it being a post-apocalyptic wasteland, because there's skulls in every screen. Just one skull.

One skull. And it's hidden. There's no explanation why there's a skull in this game, but it's hidden in every single screen. First, like, reasons underbeenotes to us. Post-apocalyptic. It's not a clock elliptic. But it's like a movie theater. So yeah, that's why there's so many stations right now

is hopefully we can start recording them on a more regular basis. And now so I've got a bunch of stuff for a bunch of space for VR and doing that kind of stuff. Man, I've been playing some Elite Dangerous in VR. Have you ever played Elite Dangerous? No, I haven't. Yeah, have I?

No, I haven't. The game is fucking awesome in VR. It's like the last Starfighter kind dangerous game? Yeah, I've had a lot of fun. No, no, no, that game is fucking awesome. It's a VR. It's a VR. It's like the last starfighter kind of deal. Yeah, interesting. But you don't, so like you don't use space, you're in space, but you don't need a lot of space for that, because you're sitting down like you're in the cockpit

of a spaceship. The way your office is set up, it kind of looks like a masturbatorium though. Oh, that is. It does, I mean, well, it's very dark. That was, you have your own couch as well too. And your desk is facing, it's like against the wall, but it. It does. I mean, well, it's very dark. You have your own couch as well, too. And your desk is facing, it's like against the wall, but it's facing out, so no one

could see behind you if they walk in. That's a purpose. How, scale of 1 to 10, how am I allowed to masturbate there? Just, you got to make sure you turn the light on, like put the sock on the door, that kind of deal. Oh, okay. And the cameras have to be on too, right? Yeah, like one of those on-air signs.

You can see it every see first. Once you masturbate behind a paywall. You got a 360 video. Ooh. There it is. You don't need 360. 180's fine. No, you got a circle joke going.

Oh, damn. Are we all facing outward in this? No, you face like, you got like profile. Oh, so the cameras in the middle, we're all around it. Ooh, what if it's like buccacchi and the cameras has to be the girl? I'm sure that exists and I need to find it. I need that in my life.

Who will? And the camera's the girl. 60 is the, I don't know. So like everyone's just jizzin' onto the camera. Tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, t I'm only good for one, I got to recharge for 24 hours. Whoever could make that, just call me up. Brought to you by Squarespace. Yeah, I'm not gonna be doing a Squarespace read anytime soon. We're gonna get us some distance between us and that. So much distance as the people would need to be doing.

VR stuff, much VR gaming? I have a lot of PSVR because we're a PlayStation household and that means there's a lot of PSVR, which is interesting because it is like the most consumer friendly version, but it's also the GIMPT not as cool as the real shit version. I was really impressed with how good,

I mean, it's confusing to set up, right? But I was very impressed with how straightforward the packaging and the instructions, like it's all, when you unbox like a PSVR, it's like, it all just makes sense. It's everything's numbered like this first, then this, then this, it's like, it's a lot to do, but it's friendly little bite-sized chunks.

It's like the iPhone of VR. Yeah. It's this type of thing where it's like, the Android's are better, but the Apple is easier to use and right here. You got an Apple guy? I'm an Apple guy. What about you Nick?

I'm definitely an Apple guy. But I'm an old Apple guy. Let me show you. Held. You got a Newton back there? It'm an Apple guy. Who do I get your neck? I'm definitely an Apple guy. But I'm an old Apple guy. Let me show you. Held. You got a Newton back there. It's a 5S. I've had this for about four years.

I recently, I don't know if you're familiar with San Francisco, where we're from, but it rains a lot there. And it's been raining lately. And the other day I was like, where's my phone? This is three hours after I left my car. Go back to check my car out. It's sitting on the ground being rained on. And I'm like, that's dead.

Still kicking Apple. Wow. Yeah, and he's like, he's so much for it. Let me give you a test call and he calls me and I sure, you're vulnerable. Oh my, it's done. And then I'm waiting.

I'm caught, I'm stuck in the cycle of, okay, the new one, the university, iPhone's gonna be the shit. And so I'm waiting. What is that supposed to come out? September. Well, this year's the September anniversary. And they're like, it's gonna be like, bezel-less

and all-screen and like, all-acguired, by looking at it. And it're like, it's gonna be like, bezel-less and all-screen and like, all-acquired. And by looking at it and it's waterproof, but it also likes water. Whatever. It's gonna be another water. You gotta water it. You gotta water it and it grows itself back.

I got fucked because I cracked my, my previous iPhone I had to upgrade to the 7S or whatever this is. Plus, 7 plus. It was gonna be like a hundred bucks to fix the screen or a hundred and twenty bucks to get the next phone. And I was like, well, just get the next phone. I usually wait every two phones the screen or 120 bucks to get the next phone And I was like well, it's get the next phone. I usually wait every two phones So I was hoping to get the anniversary one battery my

Good good. I'm hardcore look at you fucking bucks hacker. I just like I don't like quintessential game. I don't like I don't like just randomly recycling stuff I don't only had for years. I'm like wanting my money for that. I've had a car for 12 years I'm like kind of guy eco-friendly money. I've had a car for 12 years and I'm like, I'm like, I'm an eco-friendly. Sorry. It's all right. It's all right. It interrupts you. So, we don't have our drinks yet. So I think that it's time that we got our drinks here.

We have a special segment brought to us by Smyrnaf. That is class. That was class. I think it's songs. We have Texas here behind me. That is class. That was class. I think it's on. We have Texas here behind me to make us a couple of drinks.

What's up? We worked on it. We decided we wanted to try to make a special drink because I'm a big vodka fan and are like very simple things. So, we worked to try to figure out what we could make that I would enjoy drinking. So it's awesome when you have people working to make you the ideal drink for yourself. So we came up with the sparkling sorola, which is, which is one and a half ounces of smear enough number 21 vodka, half an ounce of simple syrup, squeeze of lime, squeeze of

lemon, topped off with club soda, and Texas is going to go ahead and make a sum to enjoy during the podcast right now. That sounds delicious. I think that name is way too fancy for you as a person. Yeah, I don't know who, I don't remember who specifically came up with that name. Was it Nadiya? Did you come up with it? No, I don't know why.

She's an adamant head shake. But yeah, it's cool that Sumernaf's sponsoring the podcast. It's gonna be a recurrent segment where they're gonna actually make drinks for all of the regular crew. Sorry guys, you're not gonna have a drink. It's fine, that's shit. It's one.

So, the next time we have a couple of them, it's probably easier for either Barbara, Bernie, or Gavin. So if you're watching and you have a suggestion, you can tweet us what you think. Some of your favorite drinks are that we can incorporate with Smear enough and make our own drinks for our cast. It's my better be a pun. That's all I'm saying.

I'm sure that will come up with it. And one of them is going to have to be a take on a Moscow Mule because I don't know if you know Smear enough invented the Moscow Mule. I did not know that. That's one of my favorite drinks of's one of my drinks of choice. Yeah, me too. It's a super popular drink. So if you ever enjoyed a Moscow Mule,

you know, you can thank smear enough. Shops smear enough. Next time I see smear, I'm gonna ask him why the copper mug. Yeah, I've always wondered that too. I always wondered that. Because it adds that level of pretension. It's called a stakeholder. Oh, do this is because they want me to lose my license

every time I have to get that one for the mug. It's, they're trying to get you, probably. So if you're over 21, you should check out Smirnoff and join it with your friends. Just like we're gonna do right now during this podcast. Okay. Oh, damn, look at that. Oh, look at Smirnoff. Wow.

Cops and everything. Look at that. Yeah, me first. It's the sparking of Serola. See, we just talked about the copper mugs and these are like silver. I doubt they're actually silver. Well, not actual silver. They're probably aluminum.

They're silver colored. Wow. Oh, that shit's good. Smooth. Light. Balance. So this is the sparkling sorola? It's the sparkling sorola.

You're welcome. You know, Gus, you taste delicious. Oh, thank you. I gotta say. There's the right amount of sparkle in the right amount of gas. that's what the lines won't give you a little bit of bite. Just like Gus in real life. Yeah. There's the right amount of sparkle. Just the right amount. Aww. It's gonna be really nice to each other. It's nice. It's a good change of pace for our chefs. Oh no, it can go. It can turn very quickly. That's fair. Delicious. Thank

you, Texas. You're welcome. Thanks, Texas. And you're welcome for letting you borrow Texas from always open. The one in Texas. Yeah, why not? Why not? We're just trying to bring the form. I think the thought was to get the format popular here. Like it's such a big format in Korea, but really nobody does that here. So like why not? Like if it seems like it's the kind of thing that would catch off. I'm always really happy whenever we have a massification party here because I know it means I get a free dinner. And it's always so much.

So do you guys know what MasterCate or MasterCation means? No. I used to play hangmen in high school whenever we had a substitute teacher and I would choose the word MasterCate and people would be like, they would try to spell. I think I was trying to be an asshole, but I was. Yeah, so the marketing department keeps telling me that nobody knows what the word masticate means. They're like, you gotta change the name. Like, no, no, I think it's really funny. It's super funny, yeah.

That's one of those words you learned when you're like 12 and you're like, yeah. So we, I'm smarter than everyone. Our alternate name was, we called it a mastication part. Our alternate name was mutual mastication. Oh, that's good. That's even better. That's really good.

To me, it just sounds like you're gonna be torturing each other. I don't know why. No, that's true. It does sound a little bit like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like me, it just sounds like you're gonna be torturing each other. I don't know why. No, that's true. It does sound a little bit like a... Like, it's just gonna be masticated. Yeah, yeah. Wipped and tied up.

I mean, technically, if you're masticating another human being, that is probably a form of torture, because you're eating them at that one, right? Okay. This has been a recurring theme for almost 10 years in the podcast now. Hypothetical situation. Sure. Okay. Give me two. If you were in a place where you could legally

and you mainly eat human flesh, would you eat human? How hungry am I? It's just like lunch. It's not, like just as I've got food. It's like, you're not even in a restaurant. And it's like, Gus Sandwich. Mm. I mean, yeah, I don't think so.

There's something about that that draws me to it. You know what? I wouldn't do it. I'd be too afraid that I would develop a taste for it, that I don't think so. There's something about the draws me to it. You know what, I wouldn't do it. I'd be too afraid that I would develop a taste for it, that I would like it so much that now it's all I want and I'll like it eat. There's an indie movie out about that right now. I can't even name it, is that what it's called?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone tried to get this thing in the middle of it. Oh, I was thinking of that show Santa Clarita Diet. Oh, have you watched that? I have. Is it good? No, it's only- It's not the worst.

I'm a huge Timothy Olafant fan. It's- It's- It's- Ever since justified. It's 10 episodes worst. I'm a huge Timothy Olafant fan. It's. Ever since justified. It's 10 episodes long. So it's a very quick watch. Okay. And I just thought I'll just get through and see what this is about.

I didn't really like it. No. No. Never watching it. Yeah. If you want to show just to like have on. Yeah. Just go through.

You did a lot of shows. You did a lot of questions. I got to know we'll make you the human. I don't think I would. I'm not against go through. You did a lot of shows right now. You did a lot of questions, Nick. I gotta know, we'll need a human. I don't think I would. I'm not against, I'm not a guinea-cene human, but it has to be, I have to be able to defend it, right? Like we're stuck in the Swiss Alps, our soccer, our playing with the soccer team

just went down, we're gonna die, I have to eat Tim's butt. Is that just the plan of a life? Yeah, that was the plan. That was South America though. Was it South America? I guess you're right. Was it a soccer team? Did I get that right at least

I haven't seen it moving forever. No, I mean I would I would definitely do it But I'd have to I'd have to have to have be able to justify it. I wouldn't just be like turkey or Tim I'll take Tim. I wouldn't do that. No. I would absolutely try it. Would you yeah? I think so It's just a taste like beef probably even for me when people like you want eat I don't like you talked about like being like liking us so much into being upset you couldn't get it again Yeah, that happened to me when I went to Japan and I horse It was like interesting. It was really good, but you can't order horse like at a restaurant here in the US not yet Not yet until we were out of cows

They're like it's close enough. Yeah, they're homies. I think they hang out together Go to brunches. Yeah, I think I draw the line if they can actually read and talk. Then I'm not gonna part. Oh, so what? Horses are not okay. Horses are fine. I'm saying human beings are not okay.

Can't every animal talk? Aren't pigs supposed to be really smart? We have a known one. They are. I don't know what I was talking about. Aren't pigs like the closest to humans other than like apes? I feel like dolphins are in there somewhere.

Like Simpson's taught me that. I know they do like makeup testing on pigs. Because that's what you think are smart. Like do we don't actually know are smart, but just like just looking at them and you're like, that guy knows what's going on. I would say the cat is probably a lot smarter than we give it credit for.

That's my guess. I don't know, I think a cat, cats get by on instinct. Like they've got cats if you hadn't guessed it. I hate cats. They've got a couple of good instincts. Like the fact that they can shit in a box, they're like, wow, that's really smart.

Smart? It's like, no, that's just like instinct, right? Like they just want to shit in dirt, and you don't have dirt in your house except in that box. It's fair. I thought of it that way, but it's like, if you had, you know, if you had a dirt bed, they'd be shitting in your bed,

then you'd be upset about that. That's fair. It's very fair, I never thought about that. So yeah, I think they get a lot of credit that they don't deserve. I too think that cats are Satan spawn and that they should be wife and they're an abomination that should be wiped off the planet. I do. But I'm also just a huge dog lover. So I don't have any more room in my head for anything else. I'll say that. I was like camels. If you've never met a camel, you should go out and meet a camel. Nick, Nick, where did you go?

Where did you meet your camels? I was in Morocco. I went on a lovely, lovely vacation with my wife from Morocco. And we went to Fajr, America. In America, we got did you meet your camels? They were lovely. I was in Morocco. I went on a lovely, lovely vacation with my wife in Morocco. And we went to Fajr, America. In America, we got to hang out with Camels twice. He came back and changed man. He would not shut up about the camera. Because of the camels? We got to ride the camels.

And I felt that that was a little bit exploitative because they were just like chained together. And they were from a nearby village. And the kid that was like, walking us around was like fucking tourists, right? But then we went and stayed at this casbot up in the mountains, the Man Atlas Mountains, and they had animals there, and they had all these cool animals,

and they had two camels, and it was pumpkin and pickles. That's not adorable. All the animals were named peanuts. I can't remember the other ones, work as fuck all the other animals, but pumpkin and pickles, they come up to you, and they just look at you, and then you give them some apples, and they eat them.

You don't give them pumpkin or pickles? No, apparently that's frowned upon. It's like camel, not just jacket. But no, camel's with the bomb. And if I'm ever super wealthy, rolling it, and I have my own cool office with my own but little giant desk where I can just jack off whenever I want, I'm getting the camel.

Thank you, come on. Yeah, definitely. There's a used car dealership here in town that it was like a big deal for them for a long time. They don't do it anymore, but like their promotion, their gimmicky thing was on the weekends, they'd have camels, like just in the parking lot, that when you're like driving by,

you're like, I guess it catches your eye. We're like, there's a fucking camel right there. Yeah, I love people don't think about it. Like when you see camels and cartoons when you're a kid, when people are riding a camel, they're riding on the hunts. But you don't ride on the hunts on camel. You ride in between the hunts.

Well, that makes sense. Yeah. It's like a nice little, if it's a two-hump camel. There is such a thing as a single-hump camel, which is true. But do you ride on top of the hump? I believe we did, and it's scary as shit. Doesn't that hurt your junk? No, they have a saddle.

You put a saddle on. But it's really scary because, I don't know if you've ever been horseback riding, but it's about like four feet higher up than that. Yeah. And so you get on and they go, they like, they tell the cat to give the camel the order and you go up first,

but they go up with their front legs first and then like you feel like you're about to go over. Go forward. I have a video of me in Morocco doing that and I'm freaking out. Like, ah, it's exhilarating. Yeah, I did it when I went to Israel a couple years ago. Do you?

Me and the group of kids I was with on the trip, we all rode camels and everyone was like sharing a two hump camel. And there was some guys on the trip who the entire time, they were just going, out. Out. Because we didn't have any saddle or anything like that.

Oh, that's the worst. But like, you humped raw. Never humped raw. You gotta be protected. We humped raw. You just protect your bits and pieces. No, that would happen to me the first and only time I've ever been a horseback riding.

I'm like, I don't like this when the gallop bounced up and down and I'm like, oh, I like that. Oh, I don't like it. I'm like, that's how a lot of girls discover themselves. Really? I discovered it in that day. Not into it. I don't know what the hell is back in my mind.

The important thing is that you're just talking. That's all podcasting is. It's like you just have to keep talking. It's just like stream of consciousness whatever comes to your head. It's fun. I love podcasting. I like the way they do their podcast.

The game over a great show where everyone comes with a particular subject or topic. Yeah, four talks fun. We used to spring them on each other. When we first started doing it back in the day, the first four or five episodes, we wouldn't tell each other topics. And then lo and behold, we don't know anything

that the other person knows. So when they be like, let's talk about some random obscure topic, all of us people like blink, blink. Like, well, this sucks. Get out the laptop, start looking it up real quick. So better to pre-produce sometimes when it's topical. We used to try to have, in like the first year of our podcast, we would try to make a list of shit to talk about,

but I stopped doing it because nobody would ever talk about it. Well, you talk about five seconds then eventually stream a concert, you go off, and it's like, it's like, I was like, we don't need a list. Wasn't your mentality if everyone comes with four or five topics to talk about? Well, that was Bernie's counter.

As opposed to the one big list was then everyone come with smaller lists. And then people just didn't never do it. People don't like homework. No. No matter how old you get, you're still like, no. Homeworks bullshit. Yeah.

I went one time. A lot of school is bullshit. One time when I was in fourth grade, I decided that spelling test were bullshit. So I just refused to do them. Like I went, I told my teacher's like, I'm not doing anything you're telling me anymore. I'm going on strike. I made like a little sign that sent on strike. It's teacher, I'm not doing anything you're telling me anymore. I'm going on strike. And I made like a little sign that said on strike. It's like, I'm not doing any more of this work.

Did you spell it right there? Yeah, of course. So I got sent to the principal's office and I never had to take spell out a test again. Whoa, so you worked. So you worked, I won. Wow, they told me they told me a bad fucking lesson or a yacht.

Or a good lesson. The opposite. Here you are, yeah. Yeah, that's fair. And I could have used more spelling, bees and spiny tests in my life because I can't spell for shit. Fucking lesson or good lesson. Or good lesson. The opposite. Here's where you're at. Yeah, that's fair. I could've used more spelling, bees and spiny tests in my life, because I can't spell for shit.

But auto corrects the thing, you're good. Yeah, but even auto corrects, like I'll go back and read things that I've written, and I'm like, none of these words make sense, because it's just auto corrected to the wrong word. Yeah, so my problem is when you fucked up the spelling of words so bad that right clicking on it doesn't even help you.

Yeah, it doesn't even know what you're trying to say, Mark? Yeah, that happens to me. Spelling is really important if you're running social media for a company. Well, especially a big company like Rastarty, because people like to make funny you when you get those wrong.

I love calling out the Rastit's Twitter account all the time for spelling and grammar and control. Every time you've done it in the past, it wasn't me that tweeted it. So I couldn't be like, it wasn't me because that would just throw someone else under the bus. But you are. It's always too, yeah.

Throw in them under the bus. That's how we want to learn now. You have to publicly shame them. That's how to get better at spelling. That's true. That's why I just don't spell things. I have other people write my tweets, true story. It's very true.

And if I write my own tweet, I go to him, can you please read this because I don't. Just to make sure. Because my brain looks at it and says it's fine. And everyone else's brain says own tweet, I go to him, can you please read this because I don't? Just to make sure. Because my brain looks at it and says it's fine. And everyone else's brain says, like that's totally the wrong word. Is that what you don't tweet a lot? Well, I don't tweet a lot because it's a combination

of lazy, tired, and yeah, I am terrified that people are just gonna make fun of me in the best spelling, something. Or terrified that whatever I actually really want to say will take down the company. So I don't wanna do that. And my strategy is he's really funny. So I just hang out with him all the time and then I tweet the funny things he says.

You tweet one out of every five things that I say because most of the time it's a little too much. Yeah. Yeah. But that's the thing you guys know how it is. But everyone kind of, you have to get out sort of the stupid jokes before you actually get the good jokes out. And I'm not saying that like we've actually said, and the good jokes, I'm not saying that at all. But every once in a while you're just you kiddin' out with the guys, you kiddened out the car, or whatever, you're like, I just said something terrible. I hope no one actually heard me say that in terms of like, I am tweeting it right now.

Too late, too late, at Nick. Oh shit. I wanna start it over here to reach your teeth, Twitter account, where I just post quotes that I hear around the office, but don't necessarily say who they're from. So that's awesome. No context.

We did that back at IGN and it was just shit IGN says and they wouldn't say who it was. So it was always the game of seeing that and being like, I think that was Nick. And like, nah, 10 times it was Nick. Absolutely me. Yeah. Just hilarious because I managed like 20 people of that company. We hear a lot of weird stuff over here. Oh yeah.

Well, that's the thing too, when you guys do all the fun like shorts and stuff, there's always like some weird stuff. Like, is this enough dicks? I don't think it's enough dicks. It's like, that's just a too is when you guys do all the fun like shorts and stuff There's always like some weird like is this enough dick. So I don't think it's enough dick since like that's just a normal conversation here Yeah, like one one from we filmed something I won't give it away But we filmed something last week and it was me who said it I Said I had green oatmeal up in places that green oatmeal should never be Just gonna leave it at that. Okay.

Is that, is there, when we watch it later, are we gonna get the context? Yes. Great. Okay, good. Green oatmeal, is there any place green oatmeal should be? Nope, probably not. Okay.

Is that like green eggs and ham? Or is that like a, just green oatmeal? Green oatmeal, got it. We did a short one where there was a miniature version of me. And we ever wrote it decided they wanted the miniature version of me to be hiding in a java of mayonnaise or jar of mayonnaise. So I had to like submerge myself in mayonnaise.

You actually got mayonnaise? Yeah, like that much mayonnaise. Yeah, I was like mayonnaise. I was like covered in it. And like for, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, did wonders for my hair. My hair was like super, that soft and awesome. But I kept finding like mayonnaise like, oh like a little quick like, oh, and the little curvy ear here, like the, did it feel good though?

Cause I've always fantasized about the whole diving into Jello things. And the somehow mayonnaise that like, that sounds fun. Jello and mayonnaise are two very different things. They are, like I don't like when you open the mayonnaise and there's that like layer of kind of water on the top. I'm like, if I see that, I'm just like, I'm just like, I feel like when you open the mayonnaise and there's that like layer of kind of water on the top I'm like if I see that I'm just like

I feel like you're thinking peanut butter because I feel like I've never opened a jar of mayonnaise and seen water on time Where when if you open a jar of peanut butter and seen liquid? Yeah, well, if you get the organic peanut butter Yeah, it's got all the oil goes to the top you got to mix it throughout you are one of those people Yeah, he's one of the fact I just had to confess They let me tell you of course you are yeah, you think, I actually don't eat a lot of peanut butter, not because I just like peanut butter, not because it's organic or inorganic. Yeah, those words work.

But because I am addicted to peanut butter. And here's a fun fact for you. I had to come clean to Greg Miller the other day because he was like, which one of you has been eating my dry peanut butter? And I'm like, you know it's me. Like you know I've been just doing, I just do spoonfuls of it.

And he's just stressed. Oh, God, it was three weeks and Greg's like, because Greg doesn't eat, I know when he's been just doing, I just do spoonfuls of it. I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, So Greg, I might give you the one. I owe you some peanut butter. I apologize. Peanut butter is good for you though. Everything's good for you in moderation. When you eat an entire jar at a time and you start getting the shakes because of all the the the skipping goodness. Yeah, it's bad. Is it crunchy or smooth? I Oh my god both ways. Okay. I do go both ways. I prefer smooth because it spoons out better. You can get more of it on there and it doesn't like break off but there's some, there's some, I like crunchy for the texture. Well if you do it just a spoonful,

I would say crunchy would be better, because you get the little crunchy texture. Cool, cool, cool. I go with the one. But if you're spreadin' smooth, that would be fine. Definitely, because then it doesn't fuck up the bread. Yeah.

Cause that chunky gets it like you get in there and then you start to get bread on top of it and then it rolls the bread up. When I was growing up, my family liked keeping peanut butter in the fridge. Oh, that's bullshit. Yeah, and I never realized how weird it was until I became an adult and I was growing up, my family liked keeping peanut butter in the fridge. Oh, that's bullshit. Yeah, and I never realized how weird it was until I became an adult. And I was like, I've got my own peanut butter.

Like, wait, I mean, why the fuck do we keep it in the fridge? Because like, you try to spread it on a sandwich. You mean just like rip your bread on a table? Yeah, it's called peanut butter. Well, no, here's the thing. Peanut butter ice cream is on another level of success. So I'm like, maybe- Well, it's because it's mixed with ice cream.

That's true, but maybe there's something to this frozen. No, there's not. It was just refrigerated. It was just the peanut butter. It was just hard peanut butter. You know what, I only heard about this when I moved to the States, peanut butter waffles, where people would just put peanut butter on waffles.

Sure, that sounds awesome. I had never heard about that before I moved here. That's not just a big fan of waffles. I like that waffles are like, they're perfect conduits for sauces. Cause they have their holes, you just fill the holes, put them in your mouth. It's a great time.

Peanut butter sounds like it might be a little too thick to put in the holes. Oh no, it's good, especially if the waffles are warm and you spread that peanut butter and gets all gooey. Growing up my brother was a, we used to love toast, we were a toast household for sure. And he would toast bread, then he would put butter on it then peanut butter. Yeah.

Which you would think would be disgusting, but it's yeah, it's so good. And then it actually like it doesn't allow the peanut butter to sink into the bread. So it just kind of stays on top, which you would think is weird, but it's very good. There's ever slide off. It does a little bit. So you have to be careful when you're biting into it, but it's extra buttery peanut butter. We were a very large. I want to try it. We were big. I don't know what doesn, but it's extra buttery peanut butter. We were a very large, that's why we were big.

We were big. It doesn't get enough love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Those things are hard. You had one lunch today. Yeah, you had one lunch and it blew my mind, because I was like, I was ready for like a real meal. We went to, what was it called?

Hey maker. Hey maker. And they had this Italian beef combo sandwich. I'm like, my heart's set on this. And then you ordered the peanut butter and jelly sandwich and like my heart stopped and was like, Tim, what do you do? Then it went to my brain and it was just like, oh shit, I don't know how heart's set on this. And then you ordered the peanut butter and jelly sandwich and like my heart stopped and was like Tim, what do you do? Then it went to my brain and it was just like, oh shit, I don't know how to handle this right now.

And the thing that I stopped, I was like, oh, it was a small peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I'm like, mm-hmm, I'm a big man. But I forgot that we're in Texas. Yeah, it was a huge thing. And then it came and I'm like, this is the biggest thing. Yeah, it's the kids meal at Haymaker is this. It's like this big.

But it's a big sandwich still and it's like this thick. Yeah. You should have gotten the Haymaker. That's the best thing there. That's what this big. But it's a big sandwich still, and it's like this thick. You actually- You should have gotten the hay maker. That's the best thing there. That's what I said. Then I did know we were in Texas for that where I was like, there's no way that I could finish this thing. As a beast.

We had the habanero pickled eggs. Oh god, that's what I was gonna say. Those were really good. I would go back tomorrow and just get like five more of those. You know what I found out though? Tim doesn't like sandwiches. What kind of thing is that to say? So here's the thing. You know, sometimes people say some dumb shit just to get attention. Yeah, it's my it been one of those times. No, it's not. You legit every time I'm like, we just go get sandwiches. You go, okay, you're right,

you're right. So here's where this all comes down to. I don't like sub sandwiches. Okay, like I've just, I'm by the way, is the superior sandwich? We just talked about people. The grinder or the sub is the best sandwich. Okay. Hero. That's the thing too many names. My thing with them is they're all fine. They're fine. They're just never exactly what I want And to be like I've had burritos that have changed me. You know, I've had slices of pizza that I will never forget about I've never had a sandwich. I remember the next day. I have. I have. Okay, a sub sandwich. I have.

I have. Really? Yeah. Oh, these deli sandwiches, these little Dutch crunch, get the fuck out of here Dutch crunch. What are you doing for lunch tomorrow? Uh, I don't know whatever you want. What are you doing for lunch? Okay, I don't want to say it on the podcast.

Oh, I think I know what you're doing. I think I know what you're doing. Yeah. We should do that. Yeah. So we did a whole topic on the game of a great show. We're going to change as my fuck sandwiches and I stood up for it for a while. You also have what's a whole topic on the game of a great show. We're gonna change his mind. Fuck sandwiches. And I stood up for it.

You also have been in Austin to have sandwiches. That's true. I can go for a fuck sandwich. Yeah. Later. But me the meat. What about a technically a sub, Philly Cheesesteaks? See, this is where I got into trouble.

Could be subs. Is all these people that are telling me, Tim, you like a lot of sandwiches. And I'm like, I guess technically you're right. Cause I do like Philly cheese steaks. I do like hamburgers. I do like peanut butter jelly. There's a whole bunch of sandwiches that I do like. Hot dogs are not sandwiches.

But, but, Hot dogs. Now it was another topic in the game of a Gregious show. We get real deep. But I'm getting a lot of hate on Twitter if people being like, you're a fucking asshole. You do like sandwiches. You do.

People are getting mad. So this is where I'm the asshole. I'm doubling down on like, you're a fucking asshole. You do like sandwiches. You do. People are getting mad. So this is where I'm the asshole. I'm doubling down on like, you know what? Those don't count as sandwiches. And they're like, yes, they do. But everyone's giving me definitions. I'm just like, if there is a bread and a meat, it's technically a sandwich in my opinion.

That's why a hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog, just because A equals B and B equals C, does not mean A equals C. Those are masks. Yes, yes. Can you stop doing math? It adds up Nick. Do the math.

I can't hot dogs. It's own thing. I think wait. Yeah, going to. Well, you, while you think about the status of hot dogs, I'd like to remind everyone this episode of the receive podcast is brought to you by pro flowers. You know those people that are just hard to shop for, like your wife or your anniversary or sister for her birthday?

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because there was a weird scheduling thing with us, and so they were just at my house. And it was a Tuesday. My girlfriend comes home, thinks that for her opens it. I come home and she was just like, oh my God, she was so stoked there was flowers there. I didn't do it, but thanks for flowers. So when did she keep on? Some good things happened.

Yeah, I played it off. I totally played it off. Did you wait you lied to your girlfriend and said they were free? I didn't lie. I just didn't say anything. There was no reason I had to play. It's a lie by omission.

You understand that? You didn't write something weird on the card that anything. There was no one. That's a lie by omission. You understand that. You didn't write down something weird on the card that she was like, what did you mean by that? She was like, I love the flowers. She was like, I love the flowers. I love you, grandma. Yeah, so no, I was great. So pro flowers, they're a good Tuesday flower.

Just need to be a birthday. By the way, Greg is watching. Is he watching? He says he'll never forgive you for he has peanut butter. Well, it's funny, it's just one or two scoops left in that thing, so you better eat him while they last Greg, because I'm taking that shit back when I go home. Now I know what to get you for eating a peanut butter. Well, it's funny, there's one or two scoops left in that thing, so you better eat them while they last Greg, because I'm taking that shit down when I go home. Now I know what to get you for your birthday.

Please, peanut butter? Yeah. Is there like a peanut butter of the month club? Could you get that? Oh. Can there be? Here's the deal, they're probably candy because when you start going down

the rabbit hole of peanut butter, it doesn't just stop at creamy and chunky, right? You've also got the swirl peanut butter. You can do just stop at creamy and chunky, right? You've also got the swirl peanut butter. You can do like the peanut butter and jelly swirl anything. There's also like probably peanut butter and you tell us where it is. There is totally.

Actually, peanut butter in the butter. They're not a sponsor. This is like, I'm not gonna say who it is, but there's a 12 month club for 20 bucks a month. So you get 20 bucks a month? 20 bucks a month? You get two jars of gourmet peanut butter every month. You get their newsletter.

Oh, thank God. It was a month keep up with what's going on. And the peanut butter. And the peanut butter. And the peanut butter. And the peanut butter. And the peanut butter. And the peanut butter.

And the peanut butter. And the peanut butter. And the peanut butter. And the peanut butter. And the peanut butter. And the peanut butter. And the peanut butter. And the peanut butter.

And the peanut butter. And the peanut butter. And the peanut butter. And the peanut butter. And the peanut butter. And the peanut butter. And the peanut butter. And the peanut butter. quite the same. That sounds amazing. But yeah, I thought that was. But that sounds like which one of those like Taco Bell hot sauce things where you're like, that sounds great. I would think it'd be too sweet. It's not good. I don't think, if memory serves me correctly, it just tastes like peanut butter that's like

scented with that, the inside. It's not, it's not that same consistency. Yeah, the kind of crumbly. Yeah, but it could be wrong. But by the way, shout out to you, the peanut and Reese's peanut butter cup, which might be the best candy on the whole. It is my, like number one favorite.

My favorite thing about Easter is when they make the fucking egg. The egg, I love the Reese's peanut butter cups, but when you get it in egg four, it's just like next level. It throws out the ratio, and this is a conversation I've had a lot regarding Oreos as well. And the Oreo is perfect.

The double stuffed Oreo starts throwing off the ratio. Same with the peanut butter egg, where it's like, yeah, the cup itself, and we can all agree if I'm not mistaken, that the regular size cup is better than the smaller cups. Yes, thank you. Absolutely. When you get to the egg, you're like,

this is just a little bit too much, but then by the time you're halfway through it, you're like, what the fuck am I saying? Why am I even worrying about this? Eat the rest of this egg and shut up. Yeah, that is awesome. Have you ever had a, I think they're called Reese's Sticks? No.

Oh yeah, that's when they tried to like copy what Twix does. And it was just the, don't just want. Don't try to play Twix's game, Reese. They are really good. They're like really, really, really good. I remember when, when Reese's had Reese's Pups, you get a Reese's for breakfast? I had everything.

Oh yeah, everything. Everything. I think, yeah, I think so. They don't have the commercials though. My wife and I, for her birthday every year, we pick out two cereals and we eat cereal all day. That's the only time we have breakfast cereal. And every once in a while.

She's still even watching commercials. Time you watch more. Oh, I just noticed that we were stuck in my one and I might be my favorite thing. As I started talking about my wife, you started giving Google ads to the camera and like winking at it. Like I've had sex with her.

Have you? No. You said that for bitch. Where did you come down on the Cadbury egg? He got her flowers on Tuesday. I did. You, please do bitch. What do you come down on the Cadbury egg? He got her flowers on a Tuesday. I did. You, please do that. The Cadbury.

I should definitely send my wife flowers. Also in GSM, little smudged it. Okay. Cadbury eggs are too much. Too much? You must bring me. Cadbury mini egg. Oh, those are the bomb diggity.

Yeah, the bomb. I'll snort those things. We had some in the kitchen. Yeah, I know, I had like five handful of them in the way in. I didn't even know that I did it. But before I was even thinking I was chewing on them. I just put a shitload of five handful of them in the way. I didn't even know that I did it. But before I was even thinking, I was chewing on them. I don't think, did I just put a shitload of

a mini-cat very eggs on my mouth? I did. You also got a slice of birthday cake. I got a, no, I went in for a quarter of the birthday cake. And then I went in for another sliver of the quarter, which basically equals the slice. Yeah. Yeah, I was, I was wandering around

the other stage a little earlier. I wanted chocolate. And I walked into the Chima Hunter office and they were filming a Let's Play. And they were like, what are you doing in here? Guess I'm looking for chocolate. And they were like, oh, there's something in the fridge and I found out.

I was like, over there. Yeah, Ryan had a bunch of KitKats. They were like, they were like, how was the chocolate? I was like, it's okay, it's not really what I want. Then I wandered over here in the stage five. It's fucking chocolate cake. I was like, hell yeah, and I walked back over to the achievement, I was like, hey, there's cake.

It's like just wandering around. Like I had a sense, I had a feeling there was chocolate here. The frozen KitKats were fantastic. So maybe peanut butter, no good. Frozen KitKat, they were real. Yeah, they're pretty, you know why? Because it solves the number one issue I have with the KitKat bar, which is that inevitably,

when you're two sticks in, you're getting it all over your fingers. Yeah. If it's frozen, you got three sticks at least before you have to start worrying about that. That's a different point. We should try freezing Cheetos and see if it has the same effects. Dude, I've been on a hot Cheeto cake recently.

Hot Cheetos at the bomb house. So I had an amazing idea where I was like, alright, my girlfriend really loves to cook. I could not not care less. I saw this in two years. So there's a fight between like, are we going out to eat tonight or are we cooking? And I was just like, if we can cook with hot Cheetos, I mean. And she's like, you have to give me an idea. And I was like, here's the idea.

It's gourmet mac and cheese, but instead of that shitty bread stuff on the top, we crunch up some hot Cheetos and put them on. How was it? Damn. Damn. It sounds amazing. Remember earlier when I was saying that,

oh, I've had burritos that changed me? Yeah. This mac and cheese changed me. It did. You talked about it all day. And then I was like, cool man, you brought some in for all of us, right? No, no, you don't like you

You should bring it to the next pot like you you go to we should we don't wait. I've got I've got an idea Stop me if I'm going too far here, okay, kind of funny live 3 no Tim makes hot Cheeto mac and cheese for everyone in the audience But I'll have GMM She could do that she could do that. She could do that. She could be insane. I'm down for life. We're working for like a weed entire week. Yeah, that's that much.

It's gonna be gross by the time I'm kind of in life. I've got a couple ideas for food and kind of funny life. I'm just gonna put this out there, see if anyone's listening. But there's been an ongoing fight between the pineapple on pizza versus no pineapple on pizza. No pineapple. No fight. I want to order just a shit 10 of pizza,

it's half and half, and just kind of put them out into the crowds. You can't do a half and a half. Again, everyone's just, they're going too hard on this. You don't default to the pineapple on pizza. That's just a small pizza or a half of another pizza that you get, just have a little variety in you. That's all I'm saying.

Shout out to the kid though, that put the pizza on the pineapple. Yeah, I was doing it. That was genius. That was genius. That was genius. Pizza on the pineapple? He was like, why not know what you're talking about? He was like, here's a new debate. And it was just the pineapple.

Full pineapple was skin and all on it. And a piece of pizza on top of it. And he was like, we all know that pineapples don't belong on the pizza. Did you see the joke, guys? Did you see the thing that, at least we did, where it was a cheeseburger, but the top bun was a pizza?

Yeah. It was a mini pizza. That's awesome. These people, when will they stop? You know, you think that humanity has just kind of topped out and then you hear shit like this. Like back at home in SF, there's this place called Curry Up Now and it's chicken teaky masala in a burrito.

And I'm like, God made that. That's a great thing about America. There's endless possibilities. Really, that's what I like. There's all these different foods that mash them up together. I mean, I feel like hot cheetos

haven't had their fair shake like being put in things yet, you know? So someone on Twitter who should have a cook off with hot cheetos. Lou, Lou Ellen. Right. I, I, I, I, I butcher this person's name before. It's Welsh, like I think it's Lou Ellen, David.

Sorry, I said chicken crusted with tackies, which is kind of like a, like a hot cheeto kind of thing. Okay, we don't got them tacked. chicken crusted with tackies, which is kind of like a hot cheeto kind of thing. Okay, we don't got them tacked. Chicken crusted. Oh, you could do that. Look at big chicken crusted, like a hot cheeto. That'd be amazing actually. I feel like it's just a good,

it's like a good garnish for anything that you don't necessarily want to be eating. I used to love like crunchy stuff in things that are usually soft. So whenever my family would make tacos or burritos or anything, I would always take tortilla chips and crunch them up and put them in the tortilla. I used to do that with sandwiches all the time. Like I take like, free-dose and put them in like, I need to make this

edible. I get like a ham and cheese sandwich and then put free-dose in there. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. We do that sometimes. We're kind of a low-carb household, but we'll take pickles every once in a while and put them in a wrap them up.. You're feeling real crazy. Just to get that. Whoa, pickles. A bunch of facts. Hey, you know, only if it's Saturday. Yeah. Where we go on our day. Cheat day. Exactly.

Sometimes they're sweet pickles, which I used to hate. Hate sweet pickles. And now I love. What? Hate sweet pickles. How? Fucking terrible. I can understand that. I can definitely feel for life.

Every single pickle is God's gift to earth. I'm a pickle fan. Except for what do they call butter pickles? Bread and butter pickles? Well, it's butter bread and butter. Yeah, the kind of sweet. The kind of sweet. So good.

No, you gotta know what you're getting into. I feel like here's the problem. Every one of us went through the same issue, which was when we first started, like when you're young, you love pickles, right? You're like, pickles are great. And then someone forgets to tell you that you're getting a sweet pickle.

You're getting the bread and butter pickle and you eat it and you're like something's off. Traumatized you for the rest of your life. But if you know. But if you know. Like if you're really in a pickle, then it's okay. Unexpected pickling. Good for you.

Yes, absolutely. I'll look at you. I'll look at you. I'll be told by Patrick, there's also a pickle in the month's club. How are there a pickle? Is there a hot cheeto meal of the month's club? And if not, I'm sure there is.

In the next RT box. Is that the thing'm sure there is. In the next RT box. Is that the thing? RT box? Yeah, the double gold box. The double gold box. Yeah, you can get some hot cheese. Yeah, we just put an update about the double gold boxes on our website that people could read about how we're

improving the quality and types of items. So we're providing. So sign up for double gold. That's the worst way to sell something. There's this thing that people can read. You know, what? Damn. They say it better than I do.

It's like a whole thing, a committee sat down, wrote it. No, no, no, no. I feel like there's at least 30 good recipes you could do. I feel like you could do like a recipe a day sort of thing with a flaming hot cheetah. Well, so here's something, this is a question for you guys. So we just stole one of your employees, Andy Cortez. Good ridden.

He is now a kind of funny employee. And I love your secrets, by the way. He did. I yelled at him once when he sat over here. He kept trying to talk. Yeah, he does that. Oh, because he's got the hair, he's got the anime hair. And I was like, oh, he's so cool.

But he's trying to sell us on this beer salt that you guys. Oh, yeah. And he's like, if you put the beer salt in the hot cheeto bag, that's some next level shit. Never thought to do that. What if you did, you know, oh yeah. And he's like, if you put the beer salt in the hot cheeto bag, that's some next level shit. Never thought to do that. What if you did, you know, Frito pie, you guys know what Frito pie is? What if you did Frito pie, but instead of Frito's,

it's hot cheetos. Hot cheeto pie. The junior, when I went to junior high, we had this terrible like snack bar. I don't know why the, there was this like snack bar right across the street from junior high. And they would serve, they would cut open a bag of hot cheetos and pour like nacho cheese over it.

Oh, that's sweet, baby cheese. I just felt my heart just clog up right now. Sounds like that. For lunch regularly, that's what I would eat. It's just like hot cheetos covered in nacho cheese. For lunch. How are you alive? How are you skinny?

Yeah, lunch in middle school was a weird thing. I've never dated a man like that. I've never dated that at I've never dare that. I've never dare that. I've never dare that. I've never dare that. I've never had that. I've never had that.

I've never had that. I've never had that. I've never had that. I've never had that. I've never had that. I've never had that. I've never had that. I've never had that.

I've never had that. I've never had that. I've never had that. I've never had that. I've never had that. I've never had that. I've never had that. I've never had that. I've never had that. I've never had that. I. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie.

Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie.

Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie.

Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. Hot cheetah pie. is it good enough, Poutine? Compared to the land of Poutine. I do. Compared to the other places in Austin, or even in the States that you get Poutine, it's up there. It's up there. They've got a southern style Poutine as well, which is covered in white gravy instead of brown gravy.

Blossomely. Interesting. And also, as I think, meat on it as well, which is fine. You know what I'm interested in. But you got to have the brown gravy. That's just to let you guys fries at that point. Yeah.

Let's just be behind where I'm saying, we're all just ripping off Del Taco. You guys don't know what Del Taco is, but I do. I do. Do you guys have Del Taco here? I think. I don't think there's Del Taco in Austin. You do too. You do too. It's a travesty that you used to.

Del Taco is where Bernie and I had, Bernie and I had one of our biggest fights ever. Really? There we go. At a Del Taco in LA, we were there for E3 in 2001. It was late at night and I was wearing contacts at the time. There we go. At a Del Taco in LA, we were there for E3 in 2001. It was late at night, and I was wearing contacts at the time. I just wanted to go back to my hotel room,

take my contacts off. Bernie was like, let's go to Vegas. I was like, I don't want to, after E3. Right, it's like, I don't want to drive to Vegas. I just want to go back to the hotel. I said, let's go to Vegas, go to Vegas. And it was the first time I met Matt, actually, Matt Holm, Matt was driving.

Okay, and I said, listen, Bernie. If you say Vegas one more time, I'm getting out of this fucking car and I'm leaving. And he says, are you that mad? You would leave if I said Las Vegas again? And I said, okay, in my mind, I'm like, he's challenging me now. He knows I just said that. I have to leave the car.

So I got out of the car. It was like the first time I'd ever been in a lake. Yeah, that's not a great area, by the way, especially what was it? It was we were in West Hollywood at the time. Okay. So I start, like, I just, that's not a great area, by the way, especially, what was it? Yeah, it was we were in, yeah, we were in West Hollywood. Oh, okay. And so I start, like, I just walked down the street. I find a 7-11, withdraw some cash. And like, I find a cab, I go back to the hotel.

I try to book myself a flight that night to come back to Austin. Oh, my God. So this has been dictionary. So I packed up all my stuff, left a note that sets you back in Austin assholes, then moved and got another hotel and went and stayed over there. That's amazing. God bless you. Did they end up going to Vegas?

No, they did not. How much money did you waste on just being angry with Bernie? It was a lot. See, but waste is what you want. But I want. I'm not going to Vegas. Now you didn't go to Vegas.

But we also, I feel like that's the kid who's just like, I'm gonna run away from home. I hate you guys. I'm gonna run away. And they're like, all right, go ahead. And you're like, go out the front door. And you're just like, oh shit. They're gonna, they're gonna come looking for me

in five minutes when I don't come back inside. I never bothered running away from home because I like the Twinkies there too much. I was like, I don't know, I can't guarantee that wherever I wide up is gonna have Twinkies. So. It's like a little like fat kid inside of you that's always just like.

Oh, there always, I used to be, well, like I say, I used to be fat. I used to be like a really, oh, I'm still like oh there always I used to be so like I say used to be fat I used to be like a really or I'm still I'm still chunky monkey But I used to be like when I was a kid I discovered that it was much more fun to watch movies and eat Twinkies Then it was to do pretty much anything else. Well, that's true And then it was like well when I wanted my physical exercise I would just play like video games and then I would go back to watching movies So this is a story that needs to be told here

about one Nick Scarpino, because you see him now he's this felt young man that he is. But back in the day, he was a little chunky monkey. And how long ago were we talking? High school. In college. College is when I ballooned up. College was when I was like,

I have this thing that gets me to a cafeteria. I'm living in the dorms. And also we had a, like within walking distance with a Del Taco So I had I lived the most healthy unhealthy year of my entire life. We'd go to dinner hang out go back I think it was like play PS 2 at this maybe maybe PS1 Even and then we go to Del Taco okay later night. It was the worst. I bloomed up from to put in context I'm at around 185 right now. I was 265. Oh, wow It was a big boy.

What do you do? The story here is he was in drum major. And you were in the drum major. And I was going to say, thank you for bringing that up from his brand new audience. Exactly. They need to know this. And then Nick was the guy in front of the drum line.

Like Nick Cannon would be in front of him. And he had to do the whole thing. I'm a lot of people calling me the white Nick Cannon. Yeah, exactly. And but his ass would be facing the whole audience, or whatever football games have, and his drum leader, I don't know these words, band director.

But the band director was like, we're not getting a smaller little outfit for you. You're gonna fit in this cute little outfit and you're gonna get skinny. So the story goes, I tried out for a drum major in my junior year and my band director wanted me to continue to play trumpet because I was one of the, no big deal, stronger trumpet player on the line.

And he was like, I really want you to do the solos. We have great solos playing. I was like, no, I want to be the leader of this band. I think it's going to be fun. It's going to be a great experience for me. And he was like, no, I think you'd be terrible at it. I'm like, you, sir, are not great at inspiring the youth of America. And he was like, I don't care.

If you, he's like, to incentivize you to not do this basically, he was like, I'm not making a new, a new uniform for you. And the guy before me that the uniform fit perfectly was like 30 pounds lighter than me and shorter, I might add. So I spent the entire, so I was like, oh, I'll show you, sir, and I spent the entire summer working out in my front yard at night and shadow boxing by myself

shirtless, so that I could lose weight. And then when I would want to eat, I'd go into the refrigerator and open it up and I would stare at the food until I didn't want to eat anymore and I would just kind of like shake my head a little bit. And I'd just like a mind game with the food. It was pretty bad. And I ended up losing like 15, 20 pounds.

And I came back that same year, and that same year we came back from, we went to band camp, which was, you know, the two weeks prior to going to school. And I was like, what the fuck are those? And my band director was like, oh, those are the new uniforms. Yeah, we got new uniforms.

And I was like, you son of a bitch. You son of a bitch. But are you happy you did it? Super happy. It was one of the first times in my life, I'm like, I'm going to make a healthy choice myself and try and lose weight and try to be fit. You do it the way you do,

because you don't have any context for like, I didn't work out. It wasn't like football or anything in high school. So I was like, the only thing I've ever done in my life was like six months of karate campo. And so I'm like, and I was a huge Bruce Lee fan back in the day. So I was like, I think I could just throw kicks

in my front yard and do some pull-ups on the tree. Don't you do capuera? No. No, capuera. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,, I'm just gonna keep eating. And we had a green on there, forget it. We had a Carl's Jr. slash green burrito at my college in the food court, and I would eat that every day. Well, when I was a freshman in college,

you know, when you're a freshman, they make you, at the college, you have to buy like this giant meal plan. And then it was like, it's impossible to spend all that money. You can't possibly spend all that money. I was like, all right, well, I'm gonna spend it. I'm gonna eat all that food. So with every meal, I would eat a pint of ice cream.

It was like, I would eat all my food and it's like, I need to spend the rest of the money. I'm gonna get a pint of ice cream too. With every meal, I ate a pint of ice cream. And I could not put weight on. Everyone would look at me like, what the fuck are you doing? I was eating like two or three pints of ice cream a day.

It was like nothing. Yeah, I know. I gained like maybe like five or 10 pounds. I got to go to my little stomach and that was it. Worth it fights of ice cream a day. It was like nothing. Yeah, I know. I mean, I gained like maybe like five or 10 pounds. I guess it was worth it. It was worth it for that ice cream man. I remember when back in college, my friend Alfredo, his girlfriend at the time, had the little meal plan, but she always cooked for herself

so she never used it. So at the end of the year of a year, she would just have an insane amount of money on her card. And she just gave it to me. Alfredo, one time there was a John Buduce on campus and we just walked in and we're like, how much John Buduce do you make me right now? They're like, I don't know, 10,

I'm like, can you do 20? And they're like, yeah, can you do 30? Like, yeah, we got up to 55. We had 55 large John Buduce is made. We paid for that shit, walked out. And it was like Christmas for the people in that area. Okay, I was like, give these to people or did you drink?

Oh, no, give them one. We gave Christmas because what we did, it was we took them and we in that area. Okay, I was like, did you give these to people or did you drink? No, no, give them one. We gave Christmas because what we did was we took them and we threw them in oncoming traffic. It was super fun. You put them in a bathtub and just soak yourself in the garbage. And like, Gus, it's amazing. Yeah, it was like,

or like, Tim wants to do with his gelo. And so that would be good. John, would you, not a little too cold though. But my favorite thing about you to think though, is that's a true story. You actually shadow box actually. Yeah, I actually did. There are people, there are legitimately people, my parents still live in that house

that will attest to go, like they would drive by. And I did it at night and I did it shirtless. You ask yourself shirtless, why shirtless? And I was, it was because I want everyone to see my shame. Literally, like people would drive by and I'd be like, no, just keep shadow boxing and don't, and like let them look at your body, let them look at your shame.

Wouldn't they still do that if your shirt was on them? Yeah, you know what, when you, when you're in that emotional state, you just, you got to punch dance through it. I feel like you'd like to play, I'm not play, but you're all about the mental aspect of it. Like you think that, like to psych yourself up, looking at the food till you don't want to eat it anymore. Like it's all, it seems like with you,

it's like getting over that mental barrier and just like conquering your mental state. It was, I mean, that's mostly like, I mean, everyone has their own hangups when it comes to like, to wait and things like that. But for me, that was the big hanger. It was like, I grew up in a very Italian household and the food was always so good

and there was always so much of it. And I was never told not to like, not to eat. You were probably told to eat a lot. Oh, but yeah, I mean, I have Italian mother who's like, you're always too skinny. I'm like, mom, I'm 265 pounds of 5'8. My dad's like, a rhombus walking down the street.

It's the same with Jewish families. I know my grandparents were always just like, eat, I'm 365 pounds of 5'8. I'm like, fuck, a rhombus walkie down the street. It's the same with Jewish families. I know my grandparents were always just like, eat, eat, you know nothing but skin and bones. Which I mean, at the time I was very skinny, but still they would tell me that. And then my dad does this thing. Every time he serves us dinner and he's like scooping stuff onto our plate.

Whenever you go, okay, I'm good. Without fail, always gives you one more scoop. Every single time. So you go learn to like, say you're ready early. I'm good, one more. All time. So you go learn to like time well. So you're ready. I'm like, I'm good. One more.

I got it. Yeah, I grew up with a brother as well. And so when you grow up with an older brother, you always have to fight over the like, and my mom would make enough food for an army. You'd walk in and there would be like enough food for like 40 of your friends. But we'd somehow try to have to finish it because we would get that competitive nature. I'm like, I want the last meatball and he would want. So he would eat as fast as possible.

And then he would eat shit off my plate, and we would stack each other with forks. Very good, upbringing. My family eats really fast. We're finished dinner in seven minutes, maybe less. Yeah, I'm all about, even when I go out to eat now to this day, if I go out with Esther, it's like, we go in, we're ready to order, we eat,

and get the fuck out of there. Like, we'll see people who've been there before us, and they're still there when we leave. Yeah. It's like we're just in, eat, out. See, I enjoy the whole communal kind of social talking experience of going out. So like, but I'm with you on the, like,

if we're going to a restaurant together, you better know where you're ordering. By the time that the waiter waiters comes. Yeah, they come by for like a drink order. It's like, we're ready for our food now, too. Yeah. One of my really good friends, fiancee is vegetarian.

And that creates a lot of problems because that limits what she can eat and We'll go to these restaurants and she's the one that does not prepare for what she's ordering I'm like we're all ready and she's like, oh what oh and then she'll like order the one thing and they'll be like Oh, sorry, we're out of that and then she's like, oh, it's okay. And she's like she'll give up I think we're too rushed we're too rushed as a society, especially with going out to dinner. I think it's good to have people like that at your table because then you get to talk more.

It's true. You see that when you go to Europe. When you go to like a restaurant there and the culture is about dining. Like I have, I know people that have gone to Spain particularly and they're always talk about like you go and you're just, you're supposed to be there for, like you're supposed to enjoy each other's company

so they don't rush you out of the, out of the restaurants. Yeah, sometimes I've had trouble with that. Like I've never been in Spain, but you know, whenever we go to Australia and New Zealand, like they will not, when you say you're done with the meal, that is not code there for bringing the check. Right. You have to very explicitly say bring the check.

Yeah. So it's like, yeah, we're done. Then be like, you're like, where the fuck are we? Well, they're also not working for kids. We're still here, right. Yeah, and like, can we get the fuck out of here? I don't want to be sitting here. It's nice though.

It's almost like, you know, you sit, you relax, you like, wait, you like, food digest, maybe you have a cup of coffee, maybe another appareitif, you know, 10 more diacokes in my case. You're the press of the diacoke you got today. Dude, God bless Texas. The diacoke was like this big. I'm like, I could swim in this thing

while I'm waiting for the appetizer to arrive. It's fantastic. I'm just saying, I think at the Mexican restaurant we're in this thing. And the Almodraft House, both are notorious, I think, for their giant. Like, then they need to call the Almodraft House in San Francisco

and tell them that that's what we are. It takes the shit. Because they have small drinks and they don't give me, they're not Johnny on the spot with the refills. Also, shout out to the wings here at the Almodraft House, but not ones that just got that almost draft house the next half is snowboy. I love it I love seeing movies there didn't be wrong, but I've got some small points of feedback that I would like to give to their management Well, say it now. They're watching namely. I need one when when Diet Coke is like halfway empty It's time to bring daddy another one

You know, which I creepy are you okay? Does anybody need a refill? Y'all okay here Empty it's time to bring daddy another one Which are you okay? Does anybody need a refill? You're okay here. I'm good I'm good. I'm checking because you're you're now. I'm gonna check on you. Oh, I appreciate you I thought you were gonna ask me bad to pee. No, no, I'm fine No, if you need to go go knock yourself out. Yeah, think about it. No, okay I was like the you decide tonight that you're gonna call Bruce Green daddy from now on Yeah, yeah, yeah, I. I like to subtly mess with Bethany, I don't know why. Yeah, it's fun for me. It makes sense.

She gets flustered. She does, it's fun. She doesn't understand because she's so sweet and innocent that she definitely doesn't deserve any of us. I'm looping both of you, like, lumping both the guys. Oh yeah, she doesn't. Yeah.

She's gonna have to put up with us. Going back to the restaurant topic, I don't mind the dinner, that's what the expectation is, where I do mind it is when people walk into a Starbucks for the first time and have never ordered there before, and they take this sweet time trying to order, and then they just wanna stab it.

If I go to a place I've never ordered before, I stand back. I stand back. Yeah, I figure out what I'm gonna do and then go up to the cash. I was at the Austin Airport, here on the Fjall I've ever noticed. The Austin Airport does not have like chain restaurants in it. It's all like local businesses.

So I was at the airport a couple of weeks ago and I was at like one of those new stands I was buying a bottle of water to take with me and the woman in front of me goes up to the The cashier and says can you tell me where the nearest Starbucks is? And the cashier is like, well, the Austin Airport doesn't have a Starbucks. There's an Austin Java right here. You'll get your coffee there if you want. And the the passenger is like, what do you mean there's no Starbucks in the airport?

And the cashier's like, well, we're trying to support local businesses. So there's no chains. It's all Austin businesses. And the one in front of me goes, well, I would like to file a formal complaint that there be a Starbucks here. And the cashier was like, okay, I mean,

there's like a client on the person. Yeah, that's it. Like you're complaining to the wrong person. Yeah, that's the worst. They should be like, okay, what's your name? Yeah, just start taking a town. Ma'am, you're writing on your hand. Nope, I'm taking it.

No, I'm taking it. No, it's not here. Yeah, what's your number? I've never seen someone that passionate about having shitty burnt coffee before. We'll have you had Austin Java. Austin Java is all right. It's fine.

It's not my favorite. I've spent a lot of time in the Austin Airport and it is one of the saddest airport when it comes to food option. The Austin Java at the airport is also the worst one. Yeah, I can imagine. Aren't they getting a second bar at the airport? Yes. Right?

Yes. There's a place called Second Bar in kitchen. Okay. Dan here on Second Street in Austin. Go for your right place. Interesting. Yeah. There's another location up at the domain now too. Yeah, they do.

Yeah, I went there for brunch recently. Yeah, see, we got screwed at SFO because pizza, you guys don't have pizza out here, I think. Pizza coffee is very popular in California, specifically in Northern California. It's very good. I love pizza. I love pizza. It's good. I like Starbucks. I'm not trying to choose between my kids here But sometimes when I just want Starbucks like nothing else will do and unfortunately Pits won the war of who gets to be inside the terminal and Starbucks is outside the terminal

So it sucks because you have to look at it as you're about to go to security be like either I get it now and have to suck it down Or I have to go if you're security and get pee. Can you drink coffee before you get on a plane? Fuck yeah, I don't drink coffee all the time. Coffee just makes me, it's ill-advised. Coffee makes me shit them. Oh, shit, I'm playing straight up. Cause like if you get up to Alphitude, it compacts it.

No, but then I worry, it's like, I need a shit, like, oh shit, they just closed the door, I need to get up. Yeah, you have to let you, we just hold it. You gotta, you gotta fight with your guts for that. Do you have a trouble holding your poop in? What? Do you have trouble holding your poop in? When I drink coffee and I need to go, I need to go you hold it. You gotta get in. You gotta fight with your guts for that. Do you have a trouble holding your poop in? What? Do you have trouble holding your poop?

When I drink coffee and I need to go, I need to go. Oh no. That's like, it's the best. You got, yeah, I've got a very limited window to get done. Now, do you, because sometimes, like how intense is that? Because sometimes, if I walk into a Starbucks or a coffee shop and I smell the coffee,

I'm like, it's go time. It's broken and it starts percolating. Yeah, that's like, it's like, oh, here we go. I feel a little bit, you gotta go around in the shoulder area. Do you drink coffee? I drink an insane amount of coffee. Yeah, it's like, oh, here we go. You got to go around in the shoulder area. Just to get it going down. I dig in insane amount of color. And does it make you poop?

No, it doesn't really make you poop. It didn't just happen to me either. I remember when it happened. It was when we were still in the buta office down in... In buta. Years ago in buta? One day I realized that I started shitting every day and I couldn't figure out why.

I was like, oh, now it's because the coffee shops below us and I drink coffee every day, like the turn happened in that office. And I destroyed the toilet there, sorry, whoever lives. Why is it that every single show we've been on recently? Like, no, I'm proud of us. We lasted a boot. What time do we start?

We like an hour. Well, that's an hour for me. And we started talking about our bell movements. I'm excited about that. That makes me regret. I gotta bring this up. We had a guest on a show a couple days ago, Stephen Ogg, who was in a walking dead and

Weston Westworld show. Trevor in GTA V. He came on the show and he started telling him about poop because that's what happens. And he taught us about the log on log prank. What's that? This is what prank. It is a prank. If you find somebody that has like a bathroom in their office, right, and you want to prank

them. So you get you and all your friends to go in and like one by one leave a log on top of each other until it's just a bowl full of logs. There are certain circumstances that went that I would want to be first in and that's definitely one of them. I don't want to be the last guy that has to go log on log because I feel like a gangbanks. That was what I was looking for.

Thank you for just just just just putting out there. So I was looking at. Yeah, thank you for it. Just, just, just saying. Just put it out there. So you put it out there for almost to see. Slide in somewhere in the middle there. Just like I sensed your joke and then I just, you did, I set it up for you and you put it deep in. Yeah, you're welcome. Appreciate that.

Yeah, I wouldn't want to be the last guy in the log on log because I would worry that my log would like, think you would stop. It wouldn't be as big as the other logs. The back of the balls. Would you like start to feel a little inadequate? Oh, no, I definitely think, I mean, if there's one thing where I think I can hang,

it's log size. 100%. 100%. But by the way, can you hang log size? I don't like this conversation. Yeah. Let's move on. I've seen way too many destroyed toilets

that the visuals are just too real right now. But here's a question for you that I have. And this is disgusting. So bear with it. You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but we'll make a shitty podcast if you didn't. Uh, do you look after your down with number two?

Always. See, a lot of females that I asked that question two say, no, why would I look? You have to look. You gotta know. You gotta know what it is, right? Also, like, sometimes there would be like pieces of stuff in there and you're just like, huh.

When did I eat corn? When did I eat corn? That was 16 days ago. How long is that corn and floating around inside me? Yeah. I don't even like corn. When did I eat corn? When did I eat corn? That was 16 days ago. How long is that corn floating around inside me? Yeah. I don't even like corn. I don't have a fantastic voyage. And it was popcorn.

Why is it back in its car? It's very important for your health to look at your poop. It's true. You know where I learned that? Seven years in Tibet. James did that movie with Brad Pitt. It was a part where there's three Tibetan monks and their small Dalai Lama's poop. They're like looking at it and smelling it and I'm like, why are they doing that?

Like, oh, because they don't figure some stuff out about it. I learned it from the madness of King George. And even older movie, where yeah, they're examining King George's bell movements to determine. And that was one of my favorite lines in a movie ever, someone exclaimed, it's a fettid stinking stool. And you're like, isn't it supposed to be? Yeah, like, he's like, he's like, I'm going back. He're like, isn't it supposed to be? I go back. Read on this one on the poop scale.

Oh, also I've been mistaken. I forgot to mention that girls don't poop ever. As we talked about, I don't always open girls actually just draw a photo like a poop and just draw it with like a little happy face and put that in a toilet. But then you look at that. Yeah. So you were right. You were factually correct about what you're saying. It's true. So you draw the emoji. Yeah. Girls actually don't have a butthole. No, that's not true.

That's not true. I've seen plenty of porn in the end of the Contrars. Yeah. I watch a lot. Gus and I are like, we are students of pornography. So we know when you're lying, Missy. Well, they only, like, only when they're ready for butt sex is when they open up so much. Oh, that's all right.

Yeah, that's, that's all right. And then when they're done, it just goes, that second ad read just keeps getting pushed further and further into the future. You're going to start talking about shit on planes, didn't you? Or did I bring that up? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're talking coffee. We've lived to that, yeah. It's the funniest thing though, because I know people that have trouble with bowel movements so like they just, they can't do it. I'm like, just start drinking coffee and people just can't bring themselves to it I guess you have to acquire that taste really on not everyone has that reaction I don't I don't I do man. I should eat more vegetables and drink more water

That's the trend to guys coffee. You'll do is look Roy count as water. No. Yeah. I am addicted to look Roy Laura. I'm a croix. Is it look Roy or like why it's look Roy? So I look Roy because it comes from a place called La Croix. If you look on their website, they clarify. I'd look to this up because I was wondering, they clarify that they call their drink La Croix. They look clarify?

Yes, they do. I'm not giving you that. No, no, no. No, no, no. I appreciate the effort. I tried. Just get a soda stream, dude. That was an air bowl.

Soda stream, man. See, here's my soda stream. Squeeze a little bit of fresh lime in there. I'm addicted to soda. Like it's like an actual problem. Me too. So I'm like, I've always been trying to get off of it and specifically Coca-Cola.

It's just like a fuck Pepsi, right? But then eventually- It's the worst thing that could possibly happen at a restaurant when you walk in for a time. It's like, the order of Coke is like, it was Pepsi, okay, it's like no. No, it's not okay. Like leave.

You can go into a restaurant and ask for Pepsi. Well, no one does that right? No, no,, they go, is Pepsi okay? It's no. No, it's not okay. Like leave. Why is your relationship? You should go in a restaurant and ask for Pepsi. Well, no one does that, right? No, no, like, y'all both fucked up. Oh my god. Whenever you're not able to make a deal to just like have Pepsi exclusively on their flights. Oh my god. I'm just gonna break my heart about to cool back. Don't forget about how the Jews were about to cool back. How were Taco Bell a Coke, a Pepsi place? I didn't hear that. They got those Mountain Dews though.

They got their special Mountain Dews. See, the extreme Mountain Dews, it's true. Shout out to Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew bringing it back. But they don't have a diet Mountain Dew. And I like diet so they do. And it's, do they? Yeah, it's not. Shout out to Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew bringing it back. But they don't have a diet mountain do. And I like diet so they do. And it's, do they? Yeah, it's not part of the normal lineup though.

Yeah, I'm addicted to soda. So that's the problem. So that's why this La Croix thing, I'm like, all right. So there's no calories to tell me I can drink as much as I want. And then I do. Here's my problem with La Croix. And I like La Croix.

And my wife and I just started going down the La Croix rabbit hole, which is great. Like now we're like, oh, which is the best flavor we're arguing, it's clearly coconut. Oh, I haven't had coconut for a long time. The problem with the quri is that it doesn't taste like anything. It smells like something. And so it tricks you into thinking you're actually

drinking something that tastes like it. Try it again next time, but like, am I tasting this? Or smelling this? Hold your nose and try it. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm tasting it. Do it, do it. I don't like smelling this. I'm like smelling this. Blind taste test, what you hold your nose. And see if you and try it. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm tasting it. Do it, do it. I like the whole, I'm just tasting. Right.

Blind taste test where you hold your nose and see if you can turn it. So what I want to do is parier versus lacroise. I want to do a taste test of all the lacroises and see if we can guess what they are. Oh, I guarantee I could. Cause you just smell it.

Peach. People might be ready. People might be ready to get lacroised. I mean, really, I'm excited that we're getting some lacroise right now. Yeah, it's one of those things where, it's just like scented, you know, it's like lime, pellugary, youarine or lime, you know, what,

I, it's just not an up front taste for me. Like diet, coke and coke, if you haven't, if you don't, you want to do something crazy for yourself, don't drink, give you a big coke drink or a big diet coke drink, don't drink them for like a month, or even a week and then come back to them and you'll notice how unbelievably overpowering they are.

Well, so that's, I like sugar. Yeah, it's so, so foe, like fake stuff, it's sugar. Yeah, it's so, it's so foe, like fake, sure, even the fake stuff is like even worse. Cause the trick should bring like, ah, I love orgasms, amazing. A lot. But doing what I already said.

I'm a big fan of orgasms. Oh yeah, and there's like nothing that I love at all. Except for when you haven't had Coke for like a month and it's a hot day, you pop one of them cans open that first sip. A can. Can't see this is the problem.

I love you so much. There's so many things we vibe about. You're going in the wrong area with this. He's a bouncing guy. No, that was his friend. Can is the worst. We can is the bottle. I'm a bottle.

There you go. I'm a bottle. And then can fountain at that. No, but bottle is up here. Empty it out. Smash it over here. I'm fucking. Bottle is good.

Bottle is good. You ever have a Mexican Coke in one of those bottles fountain is the best Now the next I just call it a coke. Yeah, see I mean You go to move here you go can I have a fountain beverage you do I'm like a gigantic fuck coke that I can swim in Yeah, you want that? Well, we got we got two flavors here you sir with a great beard who I've never met before Can I get today in which head about your beard? Can I get two cups? Is that possible like plastic cups? Yeah, whatever. Well, they get that. I'm gonna read this here What do you get the battery? They're gonna do the Adry

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Yeah, Tim was like this. Hey, we should probably have a website when we launch on Monday. And I was like, okay, how do we build that? Beautifully. And we did. Some, yeah, someone was like, build it beautiful on all like Squarespace. It can't be that easy.

And it was. We were never quite sure. We put a comment in there for no reason because we think it's hilarious. And I'm pretty sure Squarespace changed their tagline because of us, because we'd go build it. Beautiful. Yeah.

But they don't like that anymore. Now it's something different. Anyway, long story short, yeah, I built it in like a day and a half. It's very easy to use and it's very, very intuitive. It should try it. You have something to sell. Sell it on Squarespace.

Are we gonna do a little taste test here? Are we gonna do the test? I'm doing it blind over here, so I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. Okay. I mean, don't look over there. You could look over me. Well, I'm not doing this.

I think Tim, I think it's a blind taste test. I thought both of you were doing it. Are we? Yeah, we're both going in. I hope one of these is going in. I've been having coconut yet. Coconut, it's good though. I mean, shout out to the choir. Yeah, we're both going in. I hope one of these is fine. I'm fine. I haven't had a coconut yet. Coconut, that's the bomb. It is good though.

Shout out to La Croix. I'm not going to say it's bad. It's just, you put that or you put a diacocaine. No, I'm trying to get over the coke. I support you. Look, you're getting all healthy. You go in La Croix, you do in the 10 to 12 pushes. There's a thing.

Shout out to 12 pushes. Diacob, not much better for you, man. Diacob, to, it's actually very worse for you. Yeah, that's also a good thing. There's also studies that say like it, like, fucks up your brain. Do you know which is which? These you, man. Die put to it's actually very worse for you. There's also studies that say like it like that fucks up your brain. Do you know which is which? These are yes.

Okay. Okay. Okay. So what are we doing it without smell? Yeah, no smell. Okay, pinch your nose. Pinch your nose. No, stop screwing around.

Tell me just made it nice. I heard. Yeah. All right, let me try that one. Okay. Fooled you, they're both pelagrino. You guys are fucking right. You guys are fucking right.

No, wild. Because it's just like, it's just a little bit of an essence of it. Because a lot of taste is just smell. Anyway, yeah. I want to taste that wild. I'm trying to. I feel betrayed.

I could totally be screwing with us, and this could just be sparking. No, there are two totally different take that wild. I feel betrayed. I feel betrayed. I'm totally be screwing with us and this could just be sparking. No, they are too totally different. Look, Royce. Okay, let me try. Let's all swap. Spit. Nothing.

Sparkling what? Okay, hold up. Hold up. I'm over your hand now. I'm over your hand now. Sorry, everyone. Chillax. I'll be right back.

I'm be right back. I mean, isn't a lot of taste just smell anyways? Right. This one I think is lime. I have no idea. Oh, this has, no, you're not smelling it. Yeah, you smelled it. It's lime, sorry.

That's lemon over there. This is lime. Oh, lemon and lime. Oh, lemon and lime. Oh, lemon and lime. Lemon and lime. I couldn't tell you the difference. I was a little upset that they were so similar, but you admitted there was no taste.

Lemon, a lot of people say the close cousin of life. Like it is, yeah, cousin cousins. For some people almost interchangeable. Lacroix everyone, you can get these at your local convenience store, for your Nost in Texas, they call it, what is it called, HBB? HB.

HB, HB, HB. HB. HB. The local head. Shout out to Target, which is the only place I can find multiple La Croix flavors in Northern California.

I straight up bought out the, the safe way to my house. I was speaking about me being the best husband on the planet. I was like, I'm in it. I'm at my wife's like, hey, if you were around any place that sells La Croix, like maybe stock up on some of the coconut ones

for me because I'm at a tower right now, in Palm Springs. And I was like, cool, I'm gonna do that. I go to Target. It's Sunday, it's Easter Sunday. They're closed. But I told my wife that I went anyway. And I was like, cool, I'm gonna do that. I go to Target. It's Sunday. It's Easter Sunday. They're closed. But I told my wife that I went anyway. And I was like, I tried for you.

And they were closed. So you should love me. Just the same. And she was like, you're a loser. You lost. What a loving, sweet wife. You're a great family dynamic. I'm, yeah.

What's funny is everyone, I talk about my wife a lot, but most of the time I'm just lying. Like I'm just, I'm just playing it it up, because the old guy that's married and all these guys are so young and cool and hip. So Nick, she's a lovely roommate. She's a lovely roommate. So Nick, she's a lovely roommate. So Nick, she's a lovely roommate. She's a lovely roommate.

It's just very few people have met her. Yeah. You guys have met her. You guys are very lucky. Yeah, you did that. I'm honored. Because she just doesn't exist to most people. And the thing about her is she dyes her hair constantly.

She does not. What is she? She was a brunette at some point. She was a blonde. She went a little blonde every once in a while.ette? She was a brunette at some point. She was a blonde. She went a little blonde every once in a while. But yeah, she's had the same color hair for like a few, probably a few years now. And she always wears like completely different style of clothing.

So that would be times where I only see her like once a year. And every time I'm like, that's not next to why. Close your nose, close your nose. So it's like, for a while we were convinced that you were just like hiring people. Yeah, Greg thought Greg swore that I was hiring different people every time he'd meet her. And I was like, no, you're just drunk. That's a fucking great alcohol. Yeah, that's a great bit You should do that. I'm gonna girl. It's a complete different ethnicity Well because it's like when you buy when you buy an action figure and then like you you have the normal one and then all of a sudden

It's like now you can get like alternate spider-man and detective spider-man and you know It's like you started that point. I don't want these anymore Yeah, you stayed through no I want them all yeah, I'm a man like that likes variety. That's the great part about being married to my wife's I never know I'm gonna get hmm. Maybe a column. She'll have she'll have a shave head or something cool like that You know, maybe cool tattoos. Maybe it should be a dude role play a little bit Whatever yeah, absolutely Maybe we'll do the old horseback ride I don't know. Bring it back

That's a call bell. There it is. I tried to do a call back guy It's a classic element. There it is. I tried to do a call back guys. It's a close to the element of four. An hour or 15 minutes in. And we talked about shooting for 45 minutes. Well, say it's great that we called back to the horse and not to the fucking toilet. I was going to make a camel toe joke, but I just, I couldn't fit it in anywhere.

I'll give you some. I see you almost. He had it though. You said fit in, and honestly, that's always a joke. Yeah, there you go. Did you see that there's a trend of people getting underwear that has like built in camel toes? There's a piece that attaches onto your front area that gives you a fake camel toe for when.

To make it look like you got. I want to wear that. Why would you want a fake camel toe when you can just have a real camel toe? Because maybe they don't actually want the underwear riding up between their lips. Yeah, we're comfortable to wear that as opposed to actually.

Well then, so why not just make it like smooth? Why does it have to be lipular? Because the thing is part of the like the fun, you know? Oh, so you still want it? You want to put out a front, it's like if you had a bra that had like nipples on it. Yeah, okay. Yeah.

There it is. Wow, there it is. Why, you guys are giant on the spot in there. Who does you control room? Good job, Mike. I assume that's you. No, not Mike. Mike's in his hands, not Mike.

Oh, do you go by Michael? Is that what it is? Mike does audio. Oh, damn it. There a job, Mike. I assume that's you. No, not Mike. Mike's in his hands, not Mike. Oh, do you go by Michael? Is that what it is? Mike does audio. Oh, damn it. There's Mike, Michael. Oh, then Michael, that's right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

How many people in my, raise your hand if your name is Michael. There's two people, I say, two out of three people. Now if your name is Nick. Raise your hand if your name is Nick. One, two. Oh my God, there's a bunch of them.

Damn it. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot. Four. Yeah, I'm gonna raise mine as well. There you go. Yeah. Like sometimes I'll walk in here, be like, hey, where's Nick? They're like, I'm sorry, I forgot. Yeah, I can raise my hand as well. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. Like sometimes I'll walk in here and be like, Hey, where's Nick?

They're like, oh, yeah, yeah. Squirts. Yeah. There will never be another Nick in the kind of funny offices. I will not allow it. There can be only one. It's the Highlander rule. That's what my favorite thing is.

You can get there, brother. My little brother. My little brother hangs out in the office a lot and his name is Greg as well as Greg Miller. So we had to differentiate them. So my brother got the nickname Cool Greg. He's Cool Greg. And so he just goes by Cool Greg.

And we all call him Cool Greg all the time. I feel like any Greg in comparison to Greg Miller is Cool Greg. It's pretty cool. That's true. But my favorite thing about my brother is he just owns it and just kind of goes with it. And then we'll have guests come over

and he'll like open the door for them and they'll like, hey, I'm, you know, a big famous game developer. And I was like, hey, I'm Tim Schaefer. He's like, hey, Cool Greg. And they'll come up to him. He's like, hey, I'm, you know, big famous game developer. I'm like, hey, I'm Tim Schaefer. He's like, hey, cool Greg. And they'll come up to you. They're like, uh, that dude just introduced himself as cool Greg. Yeah, that's cool Greg.

Yeah, he owns it though. He should leave me and change his name. He should. He should. I'd be like, that is my name. So the guy who does the voice of Tucker in River, so Blue's name is Jason. I'm gonna have known Jason forever.

And Jason probably like 18 years now or something. For probably the first five or six years on you, Jason, his nickname was poop, because we, It's not the moralizing or demeaning at all. But one of the first things I would do with Jason was, we played a game of Quake, I think it was Quake 2 actually,

and he fucking destroyed us, and I was so mad. And his nickname in the game was poop. Like his handle was poop. And I was like, if you're, you know, I was like, you asshole, you're that good at that game. And that's what you call yourself,

your name's poop now. So I would introduce him to people for years as poop. And he, like I said, he owned it. Never embarrassed, never anything. And it was like, eventually just one day, you're like, all right, you win. You win. So that's the one you like. It's my game one day, you're like, all right, you win. So that's the one you're like,

it's my game. You might have won the Vegas game, but you lost that one. Yeah, we already established you lost the Vegas game as well. Everyone lost the Vegas game. You see the trailer for Baby Driver? Yeah. I didn't realize that the premise of that movie

includes the fact that his name is Baby. Yeah. And it's a driver. That's an unfortunate name to have. I'm excited about that. Cool, though. That movie looks so good. It looks cool. Apparently it was good. I think they had it here in Austin, first, South by. Yeah, I'm going to be a lot of people who saw it. It's

said it was really great. Yeah, he is. Speaking of movies, did you guys see your name yet? No, no. I saw you tweeting about that. That's the 45 minute anime movie. It's two hours. It's two hours. I don't know why you thought that. I looked it up at the Kabuki, that's why I said it was a burning time 47 minutes. They're totally wrong. Anyway, how was it? It was incredible.

Yeah, an hour and 47 minutes. That's why it was. That's what it was. I missed the hour part. It's the 47 minutes. I was gonna see it the other night. I'm like, I'm not gonna pay full price for a 47 minute long anime.

Hour 47. Hour 47, okay. I think I talked about it on a podcast maybe where I said that I had bought a ticket for it and then I didn't go see it because I got too drunk and it's like, I don't wanna go all the way to a movie. I can't drive right now. So I ended up paying for the ticket and not going

and then I went this weekend. But that is a movie I'm happy I paid twice to see once. What is your name about? It's about two people, two high school kids, who live in different areas of Japan, who are having these weird dreams where they're in someone else's body.

And basically they discover that there are any child's body and they start leaving memos for each other and it's not a dream. And these people are saying you acted weird yesterday and they didn't know why. And they had to discover the clues about why they're acting weird and turns out there's this other person

who was invading their body, and then they try to find each other, and I don't want to ruin it. Is it a true story? Yeah, 100% true. There's a Kaiju at the end, too. Oh, no. I remember when that happened.

Yes, huge. It's big, man. Under water and shit. It's worth seeing in theaters. It looks stunning. 100%. The soundtrack for that movie in theaters. It looks fun. 100%. The soundtrack for that movie is beautiful. The animation style.

Every time you hit, I'm still crying about that movie. Well now that I know there's an extra hour, I'll definitely. Yeah. What an idiot thing to do. I'll miss you in movies since I was like 10, I'm like 47 minutes. If you guys want to see what you're here to be happy to go. What is this, Master of the Scull?

Yeah, no, I'm stepping on my to-do list. I want to see that. It's playing the album. That's your master. I think master disguise like 75 minutes long. Master of disguise, wow. Master of turtle. Turtle.

The only thing I remember from that. Am I not turtle? You know, 80 minutes. 80 minutes. This is best. Oh man. It's been a lot of good movies recently. They're having a lot of good movies.

I just went and saw Beauty the Beast for the first time. What'd you think? I liked it. I didn't clarify that statement. Like you've seen the new one. Well I've seen the, of course I saw the cult, but I'm talking about, I'm talking about the definitive edition with the MS.

So, Emma Watson, Emma Thompson. Definitive edition. The MS. Oh, okay. I just wanted to say the MS. So I wanna rewind for a second. Someone, I think it was Tim, mentioned fate of the Furious. Oh yeah, it doesn't sound like something I would do. Largest movie opening in the MS. So I wanna rewind for a second. Someone, I think it was Tim, mentioned fate of the Furious.

Oh yeah. Doesn't sound like something I would do. Largest movie opening in the world. Hell yeah, it is. Hell yeah, it is. $530 million opening weekend global box office. Wow. Because people love that franchise.

Because it's here, you say how like that. I think there's a lot of big movies that have come out. I think the previous record holder was the Force Awakens. See that, that would have been a Jurassic World. No, it was Force Awakens. Force Awakens, we eat Jurassic World. Opening weekend. Not grossing all time.

Well, it's confusing, we have to clarify. Jurassic World was the previous record holder. So now to be three. Yes, Force Awakens beat it. Force Awakens did not open in China at the same time as the rest of the world. It opened in China like two or three weeks late. But fate of the furious.

But the furious did open at the same time. And fear the furious won, I think about like $7 or $8 million. Well, the also thing to be clear on is if you're not part of the family yet, you should catch up and watch all of the faster furious films. Wait, wait. Yeah. How many films have you seen in this story? I've seen Fade the Furious and I've seen.

Wait, you saw the last one? And I've seen a fast five, but I only saw fast five in the form of a master pancake theater. You're literally the worst. Like I can't even handle this. Yeah, I don't I thought I liked you, but you've betrayed us. You haven't even seen Tokyo drift. You haven't seen the fast and the furious.

The first film turbocharged the prelude that that happens in between two and three what about los was it los The thing about the face a fast and furious franchise obviously Tim and I love it It's one of those someone put it perfectly in a tweet the other day. They were like that Like it can be summed up perfectly and I'm I'm paraphrasing, but it was basically it goes from ironical to you love it It goes from Ironical to you love it very quickly. Ironical. You go from watching it ironically to... Oh yeah, and I feel like I'm... I'm not the model.

I'm pretty sure. I haven't seen this before. You got the Ironical. I am a little... The biggest thing I'm disappointed about with the fear of the Furious movie is that they didn't spell it. F-8 instead of fates. The kids are dumb.

They could... Ironical is a standard word. It is an alternative adjective form of irony, but it means the same thing as Ironic. Ironical is a standard word. It is an alternative adjective form of irony, but it means the same thing as ironic. Ironical is the more old-fashioned form of the word. And ironic is a more common form today. Greg, is Ironical a word? No, not called form.

Yeah, you're on the podcast, by the way. Is Ironical a word? Ironical is not a word now. And I know I'm on the podcast, I'm watching. I want to be here. Well, you're wrong by the fucker, because Gus just looked it up and it is a word. Sorry, I can't know what I know I'm gonna pop it. I'm watching I want to be well wrong by the fucker because Gus just looked it up It is a word

Sorry, I can tell you I know So you're gonna yell me Okay, I just want you to know that the couch here. I've got the couch Oh take a picture of it Yeah, sure everyone that's watching this podcast will totally wait for that picture to come up. We'll put it on the podcast It would be fantastic. How's it look? Is it dumb? Should I send the should I send the tech of the photo third control or to keep calm?

Yeah, definitely that definitely do I'm not a model. I'll do the second one. We're probably going to get a lot of account pictures into that email. I'm sorry. Couches second. Perfect. We're probably going to get a lot of couch pictures into that email in the last three hours. Yeah, I got to get some couches, some fun couches. It's the lines. No, but real talk, fast and furious is a very important franchise.

And the thing is, it's not just this one. If you look at the top 10 movies of all time, there's multiple fast movies in there. I'm actually, here's the deal. I was proud of us when we took us an hour and 15 minutes to talk about poop. Yeah. I'm disappointed that it took us an hour and 24 minutes

to get into the various, very abstractions. This whole thing could have been about that. Gus, where do you stand on this? I've never seen one. Never. I've seen no interest. Andy Cortes didn't watch a single one and Barty is like ritual of like becoming a kind

of, yeah, he had to watch all of them and by the time he got to number five. Sorry, who? Andy Cortes. Andy from kind of funny. Andy, Andy, Andy. Cortes. Adam and Harry. Sorry, he's dead.

No, he was really. He passed away. He was jeans that are so tight that they like, they make a lot of hovers. 20. We call it like, I look close. I look close. It was part of his hiring when I hired him. It was part of the inspection. Yeah, I was like, I had to inspect you and like, I got to get out the tires. Yeah, exactly. Just starting throwing lousy at him.

See what you're getting into. Hose him down a little bit, you know, it's a good time. It's a good time. So I run a kill as it works. I run a kill as it works. But that is the thing about the series. It goes, you're like, this is the dumbest thing

I've ever seen. And then somewhere along the journey, you're like, I kind of dumbest thing I've ever seen. And then somewhere along the journey, you're like, kind of want to watch another one of these. And then by the time you get the seven, you're like, you're legitimately crying because Paul Croc died. And the thing is, you will never meet somebody that has seen the first five movies all the way through

that doesn't like the franchise. If you watch, you'll never meet someone who has not watched the majority of the movies and doesn't like it. Yeah. Because if you people don't like it or can they stop watching it? That's a guy. Because those people are still going to hate it one through four. Like, you got to get to five and all of a sudden you're like,

I'm not watching four movies to start liking a movie. My first introduction. You should watch Dr. Who, which you have to start in season five. No, it's not. My first introduction to the Fast and Furious movies was a Master Pancake show, which is like Mystery Science Theater. What's the Master Pancake show?

Mystery Science Theater, essentially. Where they're riffing on the movie. So that was my first taste at Fast and Furious. And so every time Vin Diesel was on screen, instead of hearing what he was actually saying, the guy's riffing on the movie would just go, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh. No, so you didn't miss much.

To be fair, that's spot on. Yeah. I'm working on my vindice on pressure and I just can't do it right now it's more like this vindice like car more of a cave man sorry it's kind of cave man slash thing I like it he actually shows it range in this move now I will I want point a man to your goes down as she want anyone to be proud we're pretty sure we're very we don't know that for sure we'll never never know. There's a character that maybe I won't spoil it, that is the only good part of that movie to me.

But I also haven't seen it. I'm not in this one. I haven't seen it. They're wrong. One through seven. I see about Helen Mary. No, it's a new character. Yeah.

There's a moment where you're supposed to stop trying to spoil things. I don't care. And then you just take it one step further, you know? First off, do that. Everyone should know that Helen Mary is in this because Helen Mary is in this. The character is adorable. It is. Oh, I know? First off, everyone should know that Helen Mirren's in this because Helen Mirren's in this. The character is adorable.

It is. Oh, I know you're just talking about it. When I heard it on that, it's not Helen Mirren, but Helen Mirren is adorable. Yeah, it was interesting on screen. I kind of want to make out for a little bit. Yeah, I get it. Are you coming?

Where do you come down on Helen Mirren? That I would never be afraid of that. I'd make out for the family. How do you like her? Yeah. How would you? I'd do it. Nick and his wife have their like cheat list.

You know, we have like the bucket like people you if you meet and The top three on Nick's list even with those dreads. Yeah, my wife and I share the top three on our lists So yeah, it's weird Idris Elba you know Craig and Helen Mirram world or both a lot of sex with them if we meet them You were meant for each other. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. I'm like if my wife ever meets Idris Elba. It's done Who's your number one? I don't even know. G.A.H.A.S. I had a, you're a liar.

I had a really, so you know, those kinds of lists are fun. Whatever, you like you talk about hypothetically. I experienced, it was not directed at me, but I was there when someone tried to act on one of those lists once. Why? No, no, no, it was not me. I was having dinner, because you're probably

on someone's list, of self-sorry me I was having dinner because you're probably on someone's list oh I'm so sorry I was having with Ed Robertson from the Bernaket ladies and okay and the she said down we're eating our food and then this couple walks over and they're like hey you know we're eating dinner over here we saw you guys we saw you all eating and so I want to say I'm a huge fan it was that the woman who was talking I'm a huge fan we're gonna We saw you guys, we saw you all eating and so I want to say I'm a huge fan. It was the woman who was talking. I'm a huge fan. We're gonna go see you guys in concert and it's like, oh yeah cool, that's awesome. And she's like, I just want you to know, you're on my list and he's okay with it. And the guys like, I'm just like trying to cut my pork chop and eat it and like not make eye contact. It was like the most awkward thing in the world. And it had super gracious guys.

It's like, oh hi, that's great. Yeah, that's funny. See you guys at the show. You know, we're gonna have a good time. It was like. And then she's like, so are we fucking or what? Yeah, it's like, I don't know what, what the reaction you expect in that moment is.

Like, all right, like you clear the table. Like, take your pants off. Here we go. It was really, really awkward. really awkward. Any situation I've ever seen where it was that instantaneous of a from zero to fuck. It's always been a bad idea. Like we had a friend one time where we're all hanging out at a bar and this girl comes out and just looks and said, I want to fuck you right now. Come with me and he was like, okay. And he totally did it just because he was with a group of guys.

Yeah, we ate him onward. You're not flonding me. You're not flonding me. You're not flonding me. And then like 30 minutes later, he just comes back and he's just like, that's a long time. Yeah, it was. Well, they had a walk. I shouldn't have had a long time.

I shouldn't have had to do that. She tried to watch Netflix after and it was just turned into this whole thing. Oh, so they fucked? They thought they fucked. Yeah. And she was like, do you want to watch some TV with me? Like, you want to stay watch TV? And he's like, I don't think that would be appropriate. Like I don't know how this whole thing's supposed to be pretty sure watching like old episodes of Frazier after we have sex together.

There's just not the right thing. And he just left and he came back to the bar. We were like, it was one of those situations where you would you egg each other on as guys. You're like, you should do this. But everyone's sort of hoping that there's someone who interrupts this. We don't actually do. You're like, you should do this. But everyone's sort of hoping that there's someone that interrupts this. We don't actually do it right. She's like, you don't need to do this. Like this is dumb. He did it.

He came back and he's like, I should not have done that. I was like, yeah, he shouldn't have done that. I was like, do you think that girl does that on a regular basis? I don't know that she does. I think she was in, to be honest, I think she was just in a state where she was like, I need to do this.

Like, for whatever reason, I'm in an emotional state where this needs to happen right now, and she was looking to fulfill that, and she did it, and no judgment, whatever. Sure. But he felt he was like, I kind of feel like, we both, on some level, took advantage of each other, but at the same time, both feel dirty about it,

and he was like, I just don't feel right about that. See, I don't know, drink. I could not do that, like not knowing anything about the other person. It's like that little dicky music video, Pillow Talk. Yeah. It's like, you know, he like had the video is he has sex with this woman and then like they start learning about each other. Right.

Yeah, the one we want to start like learning about each other and realizing that they're not compatible or like they were like totally different. What do you mean about that? Yeah, totally different perspective. Like I just could not be about that. Like I got to know at least something. Yeah. You got to know at least how many Fast and Furious movies you watched.

Let's show, you do need to know the all important question of the Fast and Furious, where you're part of the family or not. And if you're not part of the family, we can start a sex, but just know that. I won't respect you as much. I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time watching Fast and Furious one,

because I was forcing her to watch all of them. Jesus Christ. So she was just trying to do anything possible to get out of watching that movie. And I was like, this is not gonna stop me. No, I think the fact was that the movie turned Tim on. So we got to go. Like, yeah, it was amazing. True story. Tim also introduced his girlfriend to the dark night trilogy, the Batman, the Nolan trilogy. And I was watching, I think we were on a plane together and we were watching Batman begins.

And when someone is in your timing belt out the parking lot, that's brutal. And I was watching, I think we were on a plane together and we were watching Batman Begins. And when someone is in your timing belt out the parking lot, that's brutal. I remember this, right? So what happened was that was Batman Begins and there's the part where spoiler alert, Bruce Wayne's parents get killed, right? And she looks like that's an auto. They just kill his parents? An auto boy.

And it's like, do you not know, do you not know that? Oh my God. How do you not know that? And she's like, I didn't know his parents that. I'm like, thus forming Batman. That's the whole point of him. If the parents didn't die, he would be a fucking surgeon. It's some cool shit like that.

But it was cool though, because she was like, she was totally not into the whole lot of co-coral thing. So like, being introduced to it through the dark night trilogy, she was like, this is fucking incredible. I'm like, oh, that's the best of guys. Sorry. You did it the biggest of service.

You should have started her with the 19, well, probably the, yeah, the 1989 batman would have been the place to start her. She'd be like, this is weird. No, she would have gotten to Batman Returns. She'd be like, this is super weird. Then you would have gotten her forever. And she'd be like, please stop making me wait.

No, Batman forever is great. Batman, because Batman is a humanoid. You would. No, Batman. That's Batman and Robin. That's Batman and Robin. Batman forever is Bal Kil Because Batman is a humanoid. Mr. Wood. No, Batman. That's Batman and Robin. That's Batman and Robin. Batman and Forever's Val Kilmer with the time of the war. The fun ones.

Yeah, Batman and Jim Carrey. Arguably, it starts to go downhill there. It's just a bit like Jim Carrey. That's a Schumacher era. That's Batman and Robin. Batman and Robin's the worst one. Yeah. Batman and Robin's one, he's like, he has the bat A-Mex card.

And he's like, don't leave home without it. Yeah, and he's Batman and Robin's also the one where Mr. Freeze is freezing everything. And you can see the icicles are just like plastic and he's like, don't leave home without it. And he's... Batman and Robin's also the one where Mr. Freeze is freezing everything and you can see the icicles are just like plastic and they're just like waving all the time. But he has some of the best one-layers ever written on, I mean, Barb, you would appreciate that.

That's when he's like, what the hell did the dinosaurs? The icicles. Oh, right. He's like, I used to meet you. I used to meet you. He's so good. That was the best.

That was the last great role of our 20 year. What do you think of our governor? I do remember that. Actually, I don. That was the best. That was the last great role of my country. What do you mean, who's our governor? I do remember that. Actually, I don't remember that much because I kind of I was in the first part of politics. It was, it was scary Coleman. Like, thanks, California. That's what we had to deal with.

Yeah, I don't think I voted in that, in that election. That was, that was a crazy election because it was also like that porn star from LA Bullys running for governor. Yeah. It's so telling of California. Yeah, California is dope. It don't blame anything on us. Yeah, it's so telling of California. Yeah, California is down. It don't blame anything on us. Yeah, come on.

I mean, doesn't affect me. That's true. I'm good. Nothing affects you. Oh, it's like a couch. Oh, God. Oh, it looks really good. It did a good job.

Cab you did a great job. That looks great. Cabin's in the way of the couch, so I can't see the whole thing. Well, what's that couch for? We have a small spay. Well, here's the, when people come to visit our studio of in San Francisco, it's a little,

it's a little small, but when they come, we don't have desks for everyone. So we have little couch, people like guests can come and hang out and chill. I guess a shorter answer is it's for our guests, or people who want to sit on the couch. Because the problem is when you have guests over, then all they want to do is talk to you

and don't let you actually work. But it's also awkward when we come to Texas. That's what we do here. Yeah. We just go from room to room bothering. Can confirm. It's awesome. What's up, Bethany?

You were just kind of our like fun little tour guide. I somehow became their tour guide today. It's awesome. Yeah. Because we're like hanging out with you. And I felt bad because we're a great excuse or reason not to do any work. And you're super busy. So sorry about that.

I got something. Thanks for taking us out of lunch. That was super fun. I did more editing on my first vlog. How'd that go? Coming up for first-mever soon. What was your first vlog about? A lot of stuff. What did you talk about?

I didn't talk about anything. I basically just documented my last month. Yeah. A lot of behind-the-scenes stuff. A lot of really shitty editing. Can't wait for people to see it. That's it, it's a vlog. So you're editing it.

Oh yeah. What did you edit in? I movie. Great platform. Okay. It's all I have. It's the only thing I have. I don't have any editing experience here at all.

No, I mean, this is, Gus doesn't have 10 in his little lab. I don't, on my personal fucking computer. The PC in my office has premiere on it. I don't wanna go in your office. Yeah, your office is weird. That's where all your gizrex. The masturbatoria? Yeah premiere on it. I don't want to go in your office. Yeah, your office is weird. That's where all your gizardex. The masturbatoria. Yeah, that's your masturbatoria.

I like being in my office with my fucking computer, my fucking everything. Get it yourself for creative class. I can't. Primarily, it's like the easiest thing. We get this question a lot because we do a lot of production at the company studios. Primarily, it's absolutely the go to you guys. You got to use it. You got to create a fuck.

And shout out to Sony Vegas though. Fuck no, fuck no. No one knows. You're the only one that used that. And guys use it. You guys use it. Shout out to Sony Vegas though. No, no, no, no one knows. They true. You're the only one that used that. And I loved it. And I fought for it. It's part of the charm of the product.

Shout out to Apple not supporting any of their professional platforms anymore. They'll eventually have a new Mac Pro. We'll see how many USB ports it has. Maybe it'll be red. Ooh, that would be fun. We get a lot of hate for that comment, but whatever. Yeah, it's fine.

Oh, no, no, they've given up on the pro market. They really have. Yeah. They give a lot of like facts. They're like, no, no, no, we're gonna make a new back pro. Eventually, it's been like four years since they made one. Well, the second they decided that Final Cut was like an end of life system. It was like, oh shit, something's not good here.

And then they were like, we don't need ports on any of our laptops. And people like, this is bad. That's bad. So you can use Thunderbolt for everything. Nothing. Well, it's time to wrap this podcast up. I don't know if anybody lives three.

Oh, yeah. We mentioned it briefly, but kind of funny life, three is coming up soon. Kind of funny life, three is happening. It's June 3rd in San Francisco, California. It's going to be a fun time. Last year, we had Cisco show up. Before it was there.

It was me there. That was great. Barbara was there. I was there. You kiss Nick on the cheek at some point. I problem with you there. That was great. Barbara was there. I was there. You kissed Nick on the cheek at some point. I used that as a gift to promote things. And I'll do it again this year. But yeah, you had the greatest intro of any event ever, Tim.

Thank you. That was fucking amazing. Thank you. I don't know if we can pull that up. We will. But if we could go to youtube.com slash kind of funny, in the best of kind of funny playlist on the front page, kind of funny live, too, is there.

In order to watch her, you have to have to at 19 minutes in. I memorized that. But yeah, my entrance was I came from behind the crowd and I crowd surfed into like to the stage. They even turned you at the last minute and put you on your feet and just put me on the back again. I was convinced that you were gonna go face face first. No one believed in me.

No one believed in you. It wasn't you. It was the crowd. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. I believed in them. And I was just like, I, you know, I was still heavily just pounding coke. So the best part of that whole thing is coke. It's cool. It's cool. It's important clarification there. And so I was a big boy that I am now. And they did it, man. They did anything. They made me believe in magic. What's amazing is, and when you cut that,

I know we're going along the tooth cuss, I apologize. But when you cut that, you cut out the part where you were like, come on, come on, give me up. And there was like four dudes that just were trying. Not two other guys came. And then the other guys came and they finally lived you in the air.

All the footage is there. Oh, that's amazing. I've never been happier in my entire life than when I was just like floating, floating on thin air. We're gonna have to put in a lot of elbow grease to figure out how to outdo that. We're gonna outdo it. We have an idea.

My interest this year is gonna be even better. This time you're gonna carry each audience member onto stage. Yeah, and you're gonna feed them the mac and cheese with the Flamin' Hut and the other stuff. The only thing more impressive than my entrance was we at some point brought a fan up on stage because he had a kind of funny tattoo.

And so we showed that. And when he was trying to go back to where he was in the audience, he was like, can I crowd surf back? And I was like, fuck yeah, let's do it. Like our T's cover the insurance. And then he kind of like looks out. And he like face first, flops down on the audience and starts swimming.

Like he was crowd swimming. Yeah. I wouldn't have been able to do that without some serious, groeping issues. Oh, I'm sure things were touched. You would have grown up the guy. Yeah. Anyway, kind of funny.com slash KFL3, June 3rd.

Tickets still available. Tickets are still available. It's gonna be fun. We got a lot of fun surprises. Two day event. One day event for... No. Two day if you're VIP, but I think the VIP.

Yeah, because you're still on that. Yeah, so it's a ticket to kind of my life, but I think the VIP. Yeah, because it's a lot more than that. Okay, so it's a ticket to kind of my life three, June 3rd. Yes. 7 p.m. Yes. And Roushichy people will be there. Who? I don't know yet.

Lots. Maybe Barb. We have a baby boss. I've told Barb she has to come. Yeah. There's a lot of babies, which will probably turn into yeses at the last minute. All right, well, thanks for watching everybody. And if you do not have a ticket for kind of funny life three yet, go get one and we'll see you guys next week. I love you. Bye Subscribe to the show to a newer in a more familiar way.

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