Rooster Teeth Podcast - How Do You Unmelt A Car? - #548

Episode Date: June 11, 2019

Join Gus Sorola, Chris Demarais, Barbara Dunkelman, and Geoff Ramsey as they discuss haircuts, old apartments, reality television, and more on this week's RT Podcast! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Hello, everyone. We're going to the Rooster Teeth Podcast. This week, I brought you by Ring, Hymns, and Hello, Fresh. I'm Gus. I'm Chris. I'm Barbara. Hello everyone, welcome to the Rosti podcast. This week, I brought you by Ring, Hymns, and Hello, Fresh. I'm Gus. I'm Chris. I'm Barbara. Hey, Jeff. And Gus.

I had something weird happened the other day. Okay. I have a story too, but I wanna hear yours first. My, I had to take my dog to the dog emergency room. There's a dog emergency room. There's a dog emergency room. How did you, really? You didn't know that?

No. Yeah. I've never had a dog. Is that like at a normal vet or like a hospital? It's like a hospital. It's like, well, yeah, animal hospital essentially. It was a little stretchers. Dogs that got the dog. But I guess like my dogter, I don't know how it happened. Dogters.

But he ripped out one of his claws. That was a lot of blood. That was a fuck ton of blood. And the way you realize that that has happened is, you look at your dog and he's fine, you look away and you look back and he's half covered in blood. Oh my God.

Is this a look looking at you dripping? He was so happy. He was like, he's such a good mood. I was like, the fuck is wrong with you? He looked at the dog in game night. He did it. I recently found out about something. I have some friends that have a great dain. I've always out about something. I have some friends that have a great day.

I've always wanted a great day. You guys ever owned a great day? I don't know anybody that has one. You did, right? No, I never had one. I had a St. Bernard, I never had a great day. That's not a single day. Great day.

It was a very big day. Have this thing called Happy Tale, where their tale's wag-like crazy, but they wag so hard that they pop it. Ooh. And if it hits something hard enough, it creates like, gushing blood wounds. And then like if you get happy tail,

they just like sport blood like a horror movie. And they have to like wrap the whole tail up and it's excruciating. Does that feel like internal? No, yeah. And it's like a crime scene amount of blood. Anytime they wag their tail, if it hits something. Yeah.

And then it's wagging so it's just like shh. It's like a hose. Yeah, yeah. It is like a, yeah, it's like a hose. I showed up to the doggy march seer room and you know, there's blood everywhere. And the nurse very calmly gets, like she's got like a little earpiece in I just like it. Yeah, it's like a hose. I showed up to the doggy march serum and you know, there's blood everywhere. And the nurse very calmly gets, like, he's got like a little earpiece in a walkie-talkie.

She's very calm. We need a, we have a level of one triage. Oh, level one triage. Like people like start coming out from the back. And I'm like, I think he just pulled his claw out. They like take him to the back and like do whatever to like investigate and make sure he's okay.

Now I'm really picturing him on a little dog stretcher. I really want the little, like that timey little thing. They have a little like IV in his little arm. But yeah, it's, it's crazy. It's like, it's a little dog, it's a lot of blood. How do you do that to himself? Huh? How did he do that to himself?

They probably got caught in something. Yeah, probably was running. He said that's equivalent to losing a finger. Finger nail? Finger nail. Yeah. Well, but they don't have fingers. Like I said,

no, they got Jesus Christ. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Early on. What is the makeup of a dog park, Chris? In your mind? Okay, they got fingers. All right. Okay.

It was like a stump with little claws. It's like a stump with, yeah, five daggers. Yeah, that's it. It's like, yeah, stump daggers. We have a level one triage on this dog stump daggers. Or earlier today, Chris, when you sat down, you said, oh, Jeff, A, you said you compliment me, which was lovely.

Thank you. The B, you were like, I feel like it's been a while since I've talked to you. And now I remember why. Been a while since I thought. Jesus. Well, you're forced to do it now, for the next hour and a half.

Please. Maybe less. You might take off. I do, I tend to leave. This one you can't. You're gonna see the, don't see the, don't see the, let me tell you, you should know better by now Barbara

You can never tell Jeff what he can't do. I mean you absolutely can do whatever you want Jeff You're a man of free will Eric would want to him to sit in that chair before we started the podcast because he was sitting over here at first Who cares? Yeah, and Jeff. Yeah, who does care Jeff did not want to move. I move and here's why I moved I like Eric Thank you. I like Eric and Thank you. I like Eric. And like, do you hear that? Defeat in his voice? Yeah. Like he's had a bad day. You could tell you could look at Eric and immediately know

like, don't fuck with Eric today. Today's been a bad day for him. He's defeated by something else. Has it been a bad day? I don't want to pile on. It's just been a long life. Oh, yeah. I know that.

I feel that. The good news is it only gets longer. Oh, thanks. It only keeps going. Wait. Well, yeah, okay, that makes sense, yeah. Check it out. Yeah, you're great, Chris.

Did you all see that fucking video that came out last week of that woman being rescued by the helicopter? Oh my God. Just spinning, yeah. You're spinning, old lady. Someone. Oh, that was a, that was a person. It was a 74 year old woman. Yeah, she got like a lot of suit injured hiking or something like that. Yeah, she fell and like broke her nose and injured her leg.

And now she has liquid brain. She's still busy. No, she is still dizzy. I'm going to follow up story about it earlier today. But she hasn't been able to she still hasn't been able to regain her balance to walk. The only way to fix this is to take her back up is to take her back up and spin it away. They gotta undo it. You know what, the best part of that video is, if you watch it upside down,

it looks like she's rescuing the helicopter. I wanna see that video, but stable, I thought her. She's not moving the whole video, just spinning around. It's like, it's her and the propellers are sitting still and it's the helicopter in the middle. Yeah. It's like that episode of Simpsons

where Homer falls off the cliff. And they're picking it off and he hit him on every rock and rock. Yeah, that's exactly what I thought about when I saw that video. But he was spinning at 100 RPM though. Or, how fast was she spinning? I have no idea.

No, I pulled that number out of my ass, but it got pretty fucking fast. I got first, you're like, oh, I bet that sucks. That's kind of set. And then it just like gets faster and faster. And it keeps going. I get what is it?

Like five minutes or something that you're spending? I don't know how long it was, but it was definitely a few minutes. What happened? That made her spin? I don't know. The helicopter fucked up. This is the technical term, I believe. When they were picking her up and they did something wrong and they were unable to stabilize

and it just made her spin and every movement, the helicopter major, made her spin more. I think it like tried to lower it but that made it spin faster and then up again. Yeah, eventually they had to like, they fixed it by moving forward and down and that was able to straighten her out but at that point she was already scrambled eggs.

Oh my God. I wonder what she was saying or thinking when that was happening. First of all, thank God I'm saved. And then fuck, fuck, fuck. Yeah, I think the article I read, they didn't interview it. They said that she was just trying to focus on breathing exercises. Yeah.

It's God. It's like all the, I mean, all the blood in her body was going to like her head. Yeah. So it probably, she probably had a headache for quite a while. It's pretty still does. She probably still does. I've been informed by Millie Ramsey

that we suck at TikTok, by the way. We do. She's off camera judging us. Well, the person who made it's right next to you. Yeah. That's really an awkward thing to say. Yeah, that's rude, Millie. Fight, fight.

Yeah, I don't get it. It's like, it'll take me a while to figure it out. Every time this new social media thing is like, I don't understand how it works. It'll take me a while to figure it out. Every time there's new social media thing, it's like, I don't understand how it works. It'll take me a little bit. Can I, I know you always operate these podcasts with bullet, bulletin agenda and stuff. So I don't know when, can I segue in?

Do whatever you want. I mean, this is just, if there's a low, I bring one of these up. Okay, so back in my day, when I would do the RT podcast, we talked about Austin restaurants all the time You texted me earlier that a local hamburger establishment is closing down. I had read earlier about it Do you give a shit? Put hamburgers? Hut hamburgers. It's on West 6th. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah Do you care at all? No, I haven't been a hud here. I don't think you I don't remember you being a fan. It was okay

It was it's so many other better burgers in Austin. Yeah Yeah. What place would you be bummed out if it did close, which burger place? Hillbirds. Hillbirds I would be super sad about. I would be sad if, anything. Might find it good. What's the place on a burn it?

Top notch. Top notch. They almost closed. They almost closed, but they're still around. What the one on sixth, or seventh? Huts? No. No. No, wait. Ninth.

Yeah, right by the commission center. The hamburger trailer. The hamburger. No, the hamburger bar bar slash restaurant. Oh, the one that's like attached to the J. W. No, you mean Huts? No, it's not. The hamburger bar or whatever.

Is it a little communal? Camino, that's what I was thinking of. Yeah, you know, right next to the convention center. That's right by the commission. It's not sick. It's not sick. It's the most thick enough. You know, right next to the convention center. That's right by the convention center. It's not a city. It's not a city. It's not a city.

It's not a city. It's not a city. It's not a city. It's not a city. It's not a city. It's not a city. It's not a city. It's not a city.

It's not a city. It's not a city. It's not a city. It's not a city. It's not a city. It's not a city. It's not a city. It's not a city.

It's not a city. It's not a city. It's not a city. It's not a city. It's also a bar. I don't consider it a hamburger restaurant. They've got food. But they get a gift for yours. They do have to do. I feel like they're going downtown as a process. And so whenever I want to go downtown to eat, I don't think I'm going to, because you know, Camino. I know it sounds, I agree. I don't think I'm going there

because parking is a pain in the ass. Yeah, exactly. I am. It didn't used to be used to be able to just pull up and park outside. Back in mind, I remember those days. But those days are gone. But yeah, I know it sounds rude because like you and I love Austin. We both have bonded over our love of the city.

We and I used to joke that we wanted to be the old dudes at the place we used to get our hair cut that were bitching about when not 35 came in. So place over an old toy. Yeah, that place is going to be gone. They're going to demolish that. Yeah, that whole thing's going away. But, and Hutz is an awesome institution that's been around for probably 70 years, but it just wasn't good.

And it's like it's wasted real estate. Like they could put a really cool building there. They're also closing that liquor store, right down the street from a favorite package store, which was the first liquor store I ever bought liquor at when I turned 21. Are you serious? Yeah. You should go buy some before

Closes and we bought actually you and I went there We bought that room there that when our studio used to be downtown Yes, and then we walked back that was yes, yeah, we walked back up to the to the studio on Cute little liquor store. Yeah, yeah, that's funny. I remember the first time I bought alcohol I remember when I turned 18 I was like I went and bought horn Uh-huh and a lot of ticket and what else can you do in your 18? I join the army join the army. Yeah join the army And you voted I won't register for the drafts. I did do that. I couldn't vote Do you still have to do that? Is that something the kids told you? Yeah, yeah when you turn 18?

Yeah, do you let kids know that? What is that? You have to register for a selective service. First, at the post office. Yeah. Yeah. Like, it's in case they do a draft, but they haven't done a draft since Vietnam.

I didn't have to register because I was already in the military at that point, but yeah, it's something. You only showed them. I showed them. I joined last year. You, you, you found the loophole. Yeah.

I don't know if that Redishie was selective service. I just registered for service. They can't draft you if you draft yourself. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know though. I did. Do you know that Millie when you turn 18, you have to go to the post office once?

She does not look happy about it. Okay, we'll get talked to. Or I'm really happy about it. One of the two. It's a long life Millie. I'm pretty sure I will go up. She's having an Eric Bardor. Yeah, so she's having an Eric.

She's called Eric Bardor. Bardor is what I call him. I'm sure he loves that. I know he does. Everything I do is designed to annoy him. So you, the haircut place close and you were sad about it? I mean, it's, it's, it, that place changed a lot since the time that you're talking about.

Yeah, it's been, I hadn't been there in years. And it's, it's over there at, or for fun, Congress, you know, a Cady corner to the HB. It was a call it the Twin Oak Shopping Center. I used to be a good restaurant there. We used to go to, do you remember what was called? Probably House. No, it wasn't.

It was like T.O. Roses. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. Something like that. Yeah, that place. Do you have loyalty to a barber shop or haircut place Like is there like a place you always go to I used to but not anymore. I just I Think whatever's available at this point. Yeah, I got my haircut by my ex-wife for 12 years and now I date a Hair stylist so yeah, I

Had to venture out into the world of paying for haircuts in a long time. That's pretty sweet. Although if you're a dude, I mean, you just get trimmed up. It ain't hard. Yeah, it doesn't matter. That's why I don't have it. I'm just like, whatever is closest. I'll do that.

I look Trevor has like a gal he goes to because he likes the way that she does his particular haircut. I think you're just getting things like trimmed up. I think most guys don't even know how to know what to ask, what they want their barber to do. Just bring a picture. Right. Like, I will say this, don't go get a haircut at a place

right before they're closing, because they will not give you a good haircut. They will rush you through. They will be, because I went to get a haircut like a couple of weeks ago. You can't tell at this point, but. No, it looks good actually. Yeah, it looks great.

She's thanks. But, well that's because I've been doing my own trims. In between, yeah. Because I went to go get a haircut and they were like, like, they were like 20 minutes from closing and my haircut takes like five minutes. Yeah. But the dude was like,

uh, just, how's that? I'm like, well, could you cut like the back? Oh my god. I had to ask him for every section of my hair to get cut. And I was like, and then when I finished, I was like, at this point, I was just like, I felt like I was asking for every little thing or you could tell he was just like,

every hair cut. Yeah, yeah, I'm like, could you cut this side as well as this side? You should come with like a chronology picture and be like, can you cut the wisdom section now? And you, could you do on we? You missed on we? Oh, and you do. Did you do on-way? You missed on-way. What, do you mind if I ask where it was? Great clips or a super club?

That's your problem. Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, I don't care, but it's whatever. No, it's fine, because my hair's like basic dude hair, right? I mean, it's a ribbon to birds, barber shop. Yeah, I've never been. Yeah. So I've had like pretty okay hair.

They give you beer, don't they? Yeah, I think so. They give you beer and stuff like that. Yeah, they don't like great clips. But they send them. But they send them. But they send them. But they send them.

But they send them. But they send them. But they send them. But they send them. But they send them. But they send them. But they send them. But they send them.

But they send them. But they send them. But they send them. But they send them. But they send them. But they send them. But they send them. But they send them. But they send them. But they send them. But they send them. A lot of girls watch and know that if you're trying to grow your hair out and you get a trim, it's like take off the least amount of hair possible because I just wanted to make it healthy again.

You want to cut the split ends off or whatever? Exactly. You can even all this. And so I go in and this guy, it's like not appointment at bird, so you just like walk in and that's all they do. And he's like, okay, how short do you want it? I was like, I literally just want like the least amount

you could cut off. I just wanted trim just to get rid of this flint. He's like, okay. He like starts pulling my hair forward. It's dry and it's curly and he starts pulling it forward and he like starts pulling it like this and then he just starts cutting and I'm like, um, do you not, um, what the hair before you cut it? He goes, oh no, I like to cut my client's dry. It's like, okay, he cut off probably three or four inches of my hair. Wow. And because it was curly and so bound-stup.

Yeah. Oh. And I was not very happy. It doesn't sound like a good cut. I'm gonna throw it in great clips. If you're a person with long hair, be it a girl or a guy, where hair probably cut and style matters, you probably shouldn't go anywhere that doesn't require appointments.

I realize that after the thing. So I'm curious about something. All this talk of barbershops and haircuts and everything. Chris, when you go to the barbershop, what do you tell them to do? Ah. Like you just sat down in the chair, barbers, you know, putting the cape around you,

he goes, all right. What do you want? What do we do? I'm like, well, I want like maybe like a month off, a month off, but a month off. And then I'll say, but can you make it like extra short in the back so it doesn't get like a mullity and then, uh, and then make it not look like I got a haircut. Okay. That's a lot of conflicting information. Why would you want it to not look like you got your haircut?

Oh, because you don't, okay, there's this thing where when dudes get a haircut, it's like almost like too cleaned up where it looks like, oh yeah, it looks bad to like a week. You want it a little dirty around the ears? A little dirty, yeah, like a little grown out. A little grown out. Yeah.

So how much does your hair grow in a month, Chris? I don't know. I always just say that because I don't want it too much off. So you don't say like, I just want it kind of like cleaned up and trimmed up or anything like that? Sometimes I don't know. I just like mumbled until they started cutting. Mumbled directions to the barber.

Until they started cutting. I'm just like, just like not too much off. So your philosophy on hair cutting is your philosophy on everything in life. At least I'll just mumble through it. As soon as you're working out, hold the faith figure out what he wants. Yeah, pretty much.

What do you guys say when you go get your haircut? Normally what I say is I want a scissor cut all the way around and take about half an inch off. Scissor cut as opposed to a- As opposed to using the blade. That's a really good- The got blade guards. All right opposed to a... As opposed to using the blade. That's a really good... They got blade guards.

All right, so I'm just coming down on the chat. Always tell them that you're going to a wedding that weekend so that they put extra care into it. There you go. That is a really good suggestion. Yeah, Peter H. And I forgot that you all can take that over here. Peter Hays was saying that he was curious

because you didn't bring up the numbers, like blade guard numbers. Do you know what those are? I do, I don't like keep up with that. You don't look like you probably use a guard with your hair as long as it is. It changes all the time. It's one of the things you gotta be on Reddit.

You're checking the subreddits all the time. What's the current preferred guard length? It's annoying. It's a lot to keep up with. Yeah, it changed a lot of things. It's not to keep up with baseball. Yeah, I don't have time. Each number is a quarter inch. Okay, well yeah, I don't really do that. I do have a, I do a lot of people with baseball. Yeah, I don't have time. Each number is a quarter inch.

Okay, well yeah, I don't really do that. I do have a, I do actually have a, I do have to start mumbling number razor of my own. But for your hair. For your hair. For your hair. Not for my, well, it's more of a, what's a four?

Is it for a let me, a man's key thing? Yeah, man's key thing. Is it a razor to man's key? Yeah, it's got its own guard. Like a trimmer, a trimmer. Okay, a razor I'm picturing like a straight razor, dude. Yeah, it's got its own guard. I don't like a trimmer. A trimmer. OK, a razor, I'm picturing like a straight razor, dude. Yeah, like you just shaved your face.

No, no, no, no, I do not trust myself with that. You've been run with those. No. What do you guys use to trim yourselves? Or do you just fully shave? Like, you mean like dick and stuff? Yeah, dick and stuff. I use a, I use a like a shaver,

like one of those like, you know, like, I just, I'm used for my beard. So I'm also used on my pubes sometimes. Just the same one. Exactly, you just go, it's all off. It's like, no, I just like, I like go like, yeah, it seems like it starts with you. That seems like about enough, you know,

and you like go around. But then those things are like, oh God, I got ball issues right now anyway, but you only get too close to the skin because those things will nick your heart. And that hurts. And then a testicle will bleed like a motherfully, I bleed like a dog. Like a dog, like a dog. Like a dog, like a dog.

A happy, happy, what do you call that? Happy swap. Happy, happy, happy, happy. I made a mistake when I was younger and I was trying to trim my nether regions and I was using like a natural scissor. Yeah. And so, when it's long enough, you could do this thing where you pull and twist,

and then cut, so you get like kind of like a chunk of hair and then twist it. I wasn't paying close enough attention, and I like kind of nicked my skin. Just a little bit. And it luckily was not like on the clip, but like, it was clustered by. And I was bleeding there for like a day or two.

I've done that. The blood didn't clear up. That was good. I like that. Was it though? I gotta, I guess I got a story. I think I was debating whether to tell it here or save it for off topic or save it for down the road.

I could do it here. But I'll just do it here because I'm not good at holding stuff back and you brought up the genitals I could do it here. But I'll just do it here because I'm not good at holding stuff back and you brought up genitals. And genital pain. I discovered a new kind of genital pain that I'm surprised it took me 43 years to get to. And now that I'm there, I will endeavor to never experience it again

for as long as I live. But the other night I was cutting jalapenos. Oh my God. Oh no, no, no. And I have rubbed my eyes. I was cutting jalapenos. Oh my God, oh no, no, no, no. And I have rubbed my eyes, I've gotten a jalapeno in my nose, inside your nose is really bad, I've got it on my mat, I've gotten jalapenos juice everywhere. In the mouth, that's a bad.

I have never apparently cut jalapenos and then immediately went and peed. But I did the other night. And it hit me in waves because I panicked so bad that I started to try to clean my genitals, my penis and my balls as it were. And after I survived the first wave of intense burning, I discovered a second wave,

because I hadn't properly cleaned my hand, so I just reapplied all the paint and juice. So I was googling like a motherfucker because it was too much to take. Like I gotta cut my dick off because I can't take this pain. Just dip your dick in the milk. So the preferred, everything I read is that the best thing you can do for a jalapeno then flamed penis and balls

is to dip them in milk. Oh really? Yeah. So I had to do this with, well, I tried to hide from Millie while I was doing this. And now you're feeling the story. And I, yeah, I spent 20 minutes Saturday night with my dick and my balls submerged in a glass of milk in my bathroom.

Go and please work, please work, please work, please work. Worst pain I have, maybe ever felt in my entire life. How thick was the glass? What a... It was a big guilt. Was it whole milk or 2% or what? It was too... Million of what kind of milk did we buy?

Did you put the milk in? What did you do with the milk? Yeah, what cereal did you have afterwards? Million fruit lips, but I don't think it was a... It was weird about this milk. It's spicy, but also... Well, you also have more milk before bed. Even as a joke, a while back,

we, somebody sent us some, somebody sent us to Awu, they sent us some Tiger Bomb, and I just took it and I rubbed it on my balls in a video, which hurt like hell, but that's a manageable level of pain. If you ever wanna know how bad Hall of Pain Yo juice on a penis feels, put some tiger balm or icy hot on your balls and then imagine it 30 times worse.

That much worse. It was so bad. I was frying. It hurts so bad. Tiger bomb is what? Tiger bomb is like icy hot. You like rub it on a sore muscle or something and like, oh my god. You put that on your balls. Yeah. That's nothing compared to Hall of Pain Yo. It was I was like I literally was thinking, I remember reading one time about some sort of a crustacean

that if it, in the ocean that if it cuts you, it hurts so bad you wanna cut your arm off because that's painful than that. I was like in a John Steinbeck book, like the Pearl or something. And I was actually thinking, I could see cutting my genitals off to get away from this pain because it is like,

it's a fury that's visited upon you in a sensitive place. Like I've never experienced. Is it like a radiating kind of pain? Like how would you describe it? Pointed and all encompassing. Like I had, my brain had no spare band with the think of anything other than the pain in front of me.

It was, it was, excruciating. I don't know if anybody in the chat's ever done that. You put hall of pain in your juice on your dick, but. Give it a shot. Don't do it. Why not? Anyway, sorry. Sorry, I have now, I won't tell you which glass,

but if you come over to my house, one of the classes has had my dick in it for a while. I feel like some people at this company would be able to guess. Just based on your interest. Just a little bit of that. Is your market, is it like a special one now? No, it was clear glass. I have no idea which one it was. Glass half full, can I guy?

Well, I was actually trying to think of dumb jokes and stuff. In that instance, I don't like milk. Milk did my body good. It took that pain away. Yeah. So it felt better after. Yeah, no don't like milk. Milk did my body good. It took that pain away. Yeah. So it felt better after. Yeah, no, it super helped. Literally, since I hate milk, I don't know if people are like, oh, it's too hot, it goes pepper, whatever, drink milk. I never do it because I just can't stand milk.

Like, I'd rather do with the pain than the gross taste of disgusting milk. But, applied to the genitals, it's cool. Were you in my apartment that one time, years ago, when I lived off of Pleasant Valley, when my neighbors knocked on my door? We were thinking of where you lived off of Pleasant. At the Metropolis.

Oh, the prostitute place. Yeah. I remember one time I was at my apartment. I don't know if you were there. I was sitting in my living room. And someone knocked on my door, I'm not expecting anybody, so I go over and I open it. And it's like to my neighbors, so I'd never met.

They lived like kind of down a little bit and they're like, hey, my friend's gonna eat a bunch of habanero peppers in the courtyard. You wanna come watch? Yeah. And I was like, sure, why not? I'm not doing anything. It was just like soliciting neighbors to come and watch. It was exactly what you expect. The dude was just like, he ate a whole bunch of habaneros

and we're just like tearing up a crying. And the reason I thought about it is he had like two one-dallen jugs of milk in the air as well. It was like pouring them over his feet. Is it being filmed? No, this is before internet. Yeah. So we just do it. This was like 1999. Like smartphones didn't exist. So that is, I gotta get the neighbors. This was like Saturday. like smartphones didn't exist. So that is, I gotta get the neighbors.

This was like Saturday, it was like. Yeah, I guess that's kind of like, if you put a video online, like just entertaining a bunch of strangers, like let's just get a bunch of strangers in person. Yeah, so you have to round them up in person. That was like we used to do stuff just because it was fun. Yeah, remember that?

Those are the days, man. Instead of just doing it to be filmed. My, my, that apartment complex was weird because you, I don't know if it's this way anymore. I have no idea. I've not lived in that apartment complex for 20 years now. It was a popular place though. But back then, you paid your phone and internet bill

to the apartment complex because they had, like, a deal with a local company where they had run internet. They had run like, you could plug in like Ethernet cables in your apartment and it was high-speed internet. And so as a result, like sometimes the phone lines would get crossed. So if I picked up my phone, I would hear dial tone, right? But behind the dial tone, I could hear my neighbor on the phone

or sometimes my phone would ring, but it was really my neighbor's phone ringing and I would pick it up and nobody could hear me but I could hear my neighbor's phone ringing, and I would pick it up, and nobody could hear me, but I could hear my neighbor's conversation, and my neighbor was a drug dealer. And so, like, all the time, and it's like, hey, you wanna hear what people are buying? Let's find out, it's like, you can just pick up the phone.

He's not kidding, dude, and it was like, because if it did this thing, it was like a half ring, where your phone, like, it makes a noise, but it's not a full, you're like, it was the phone, it's just almost ring, yeah. Kind of like a muffled ring, and you pick it up, and it would totally gust of be like, here, listen, he's making a drug deal right now, but it's not a full, you're like, was it the fun? It's just almost ring. Yeah, kind of like a muffled ring, and you pick it up, and it would totally gust of be like, here listen, he's making a drug deal right now.

And he'd be like, you wanna hear him like super clear? Yeah, it was like, you were on the call. Oh my God. Yeah, he was a, he did a lot of things. He didn't hide him in too, yeah. He just did a phone ring a lot.

He should have blackmailed him for free drugs. Yeah, let me do that. Let me blackmail a fucking drug deal who lives next door to me. Let me get right on that. Somebody in the chat said that they worked at a restaurant and some new guy didn't put gloves on and cut hallipane Yeah, or hobbinear peppers and had to go to the emergency room because he blacked out. Yeah God that is terrible. Yeah. Oh my God

I loved when you lived at that apartment complex. The place was crazy. It was like, it was where all the strippers and drug dealers in town lived, and it was like, it was like an orgy of partying at all times outside and Gus and I didn't go to for the record. No, Gus didn't, no, he had to go through it

to get to Starcraft though. Of course. Is that what you got your hemorrhoid? Yeah, I got my first hemorrhoid there. They're playing Rainbow Six. Yeah, you're sitting on the floor and you're better than playing Rainbow Six and brood war. Remember you always play in brood war. Yeah, there was a, I had a roommate at the time.

Frank, the D&D from the DM from Heroes and Halfwits. Frank and I lived together at the time. And his room, whenever it rained, his room became like Indiana Jones, the temple of doom. You remember the scene with all of the insects? Yeah. Oh, God. I don't know where those insects all came from, but it's like if it rained, it rained a lot. Like his room would just start like insects. They're just start coming out from everywhere.

You'd have to sleep in the living room because it's like we'd have to close the door and be like, all right, the insects. They can take their room now. They can have it. They're not paying rent, but it's okay. They're going to stay in there. When you finally moved out, Frank stayed there for a while, right? Like, when you get another roommate and you kept staying on for a while, no. I moved over to those shitty apartments that don't exist anymore. They tore them down and built condos over over there now, off of a lake shore. Is that where you, that was a place where your apartment, your apartment was wet for their year. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, it was just wet. Wet, I don't know. He's not, and he would deny it. I'd come over and I'd be like, is your floor wet? And he's like, no, it's fine. It was the cheapest place. Like, I was my first time living alone.

So I had to find like the cheapest apartment I could. Yeah. What did you pay? It was like 400 bucks a month or so. No, I want to say it was like 650. There's no way you paid that much for that place. Maybe 600. I good. Yeah. What did you pay? It was like 400 bucks a month or something. No, I want to say it was like 650. There's no way you paid that much for that place. Maybe 600. Yeah.

It was the scariest apartment complex I've ever spent time in. You just as long as you didn't go out at night, it was okay. You always talked about how like, with my first wife, you made a pro and con list about whether it was worth being my friend because you disliked her so much. I kind of had that with that apartment. That apartment was bad. That apartment was worth it.

We never hugged out there though. We played the cockle of life. That was the party there twice. And I helped you move in and that was, and I think at that point I was like, I can't. Had anything happened to you there? Uh-uh. No, it was fine.

I guess you were now at night ever. Yeah, I guess you were fine. It was okay. Wet feet, but. It was a little humid. Cupid. Oh, god. Do you, has Miles ever told you about the apartment

he used to live in before moving? I don't think so. They were doing construction on like the outside of the building where he was. And apparently they had like drilled holes into his apartment from the outside. So he just had like open holes all over his wall and construction.

And they wouldn't do anything about it. It was a violation. Yeah, free or conditioning? Yeah. Because you know what, the apartment wasn't wet, but it. Is that a relation? Yeah, for your conditioning. Yeah. Because you know what? The apartment wasn't wet, I bet. It's true. It had time to dry out. Very true. Yeah, probably wasn't moist.

Gus's first apartment, he lived that one I met him, was just as bad if not worse. That was the apartment where you went uphill going from your front door to your kitchen. That one was scary. Like a hike uphill. Yeah, it was from your front door. Every year, one building would burn down

in that apartment complex. And it was like, you always hoped every year it wasn't your building that burned down. And it was never mine. When I say uphill, Barbara, I don't mean like, there's no stairs or anything. His apartment was just on the pit. It was like, it was a little slanted.

It's like a room and yeah, well for something like that. If you put a marble on the floor, it would go down out the front door, down the hill and into traffic. There was a- Was it on the ground floor? Yeah, yeah. Never tell you about my burning car.

No. Never tell you, okay, well, so my first car- I love the way you introduced me. You look back at me like we've had a conversation for the last five years. No. My first car I had, I was in West Campus from Losl, college, and I parked on the side of the street.

I think there was an arsonist going around West Campus for a bit, because they were all these buildings kept catching fire. And I remember watching it from my window all the time. We just be like, my, my, my, my, my, my, hey, another place on fire. Cool. And we were watching.

Cool. Well, not cool, but you know what I mean? Like, we'd be like, all right, let's go watch. We just be like, we're like, hey, another place that I'm firing, cool. And we go watch. Cool. Well, not cool, but you know what I mean? Like we'd be like, all right, let's go watch. We look cool. Yeah. And so I remember there's one time, oh, look at some fire again.

It's like, wow, it's right next door to us. It was like right over there. And I'm still watching it. And I go to my car the next day. And I'm like, what, looking at the remains of the building. And then I'm like, my car's melted.

Like one side of my car had melted down the entire side of it. Because it was near the building and then I'm like, my car's melted. Like one side of my car had melted down the entire side of it. Because it was near the building. Yeah, it was like, I was parked next to the burning building. And so all the plastic in my car had melted. Wow. And then all the paint had like chipped and cracked. And then so I called my insurance and I was like, my car got melted. So you're kind of like, I had a stroke on one side and I was like, my car got melted.

So you're kind of like a head of stroke on one side. It was like, basically. And they were like, what? I was like, yeah. And I was like, he's like, well, how does insurance deal with that? Well, they were like, I guess it's a natural disaster. Is what the guy on the phone said.

He was like, unsure. I'm like, all right. He's like, we'll come take a look. And the guy came out and he was like, yeah, yeah, that's melted. And I mean, your car is not really a good, you don't have a high value car. What kind of car was it? It was a 1998 Ford Taurus classic.

Correct, you know, that assessment. And he was like car. Yeah, yeah. And he was like and he was like car. Yeah. Yeah. And he was like, I think your car is totaled because to fix this would be more than the value of the car. Yeah. Well, yeah, he's like, how do you, how do you, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don so nervous. And so I was like, oh, okay. So you'll get like five grand or something for your car. I'm like, damn, I'm like, that's enough to get a new car. And so I was like, well. It's probably enough to get another 1998.

Maybe, but then I was like, well, can I keep it? And he was like, well, we'll have to subtract the value of the can I, can I like, and he was like, well, we'll have to subtract the value of the scrap costs, which is like $1,000. And then we'll write you a check for the difference. So like $4,000. Yeah, so you got a melted car in $4,000? I got it.

$4,000 and a melted car. And I loved it. Chris. It was, Chris. Wait, what do you do? Do you have photos of this melted car? I might, actually, well, okay. So then a couple of years later,

I, right before I started working here, I got hit by a guy pulling out of a bar, a drunk guy. Got hit on your melted car? On my melted car. Was it on the melted side or the number? It was, no, it was. And that told me it again. So I, I like made money off of my...

They paid you again? They told me, they paid me the full value of the car again. I thought they didn't do that. I thought once it was like total, they gave you the money, that was it. So the good thing you kept that shit. Yeah. I got it told twice.

Wait, so. You have never seen anyone so happy by getting their car total twice. So at that point, did you have to stop driving it? Oh, yeah, yeah, it was really fucked up. Okay. So melted and crashed. Like it was like melted and crashed.

It was, It's everything you don't want to car to me. Yeah, yeah, it was, but yeah, I was like, man, this is like, I don't know why I'm more people. I'm like, yeah. Chris, I have a question. Did you went to UT, right? Yeah.

I, did you like live around campus? Oh, for your experience, that whole thing. Where did you live before you went to you too? In Longview, Texas. Okay, so you've been here ever since. Do you like wax nostalgic and go back to West Campus and go to like look at the old places you used to live or eat at like the little restaurant

that you used to go to and that kind of thing? Whatever I'm driving through there, I kind of reminisce. Do you know? I'm like, oh yeah, yeah, there's a so-and-so, man, I remember when it used to be the so-and-so, and like players or whatever. Yeah, but do you like go around? Like, homeless, that's like about it.

Yeah. You know, go walking around there, though? I don't, not, I mean, no, but if I'm in that area, then I do reminisce, you know. I wonder about that, because I have, I ride my, when I live downtown, I'd ride my bike over there a lot. It's a, like, it's a great shot.

There's a great bike lane on Rio Grande that goes all the way down. That's really easy to ride down. And everything looks brand new and everything that's older than five years looks like it's been torn down over there. And I wonder if it's like, for people that went to UT and had that awesome college experience

that they go back and they're like, where the fuck is this? Yeah. All right. But it was, oh, what? While I was in school, it was in that weird process of where they were tearing down all the houses and the, like, smaller places and building condos. So I saw that transition where it went from, like, that area became, like, super city-wide,

like, city industrial, like, not industrial, but, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. So I saw it happening. So then whenever I came back and, like, five years, like, oh, yeah, this makes sense. I have something I want to say about that. But first, I want to read this thing I want to remind everyone this episode of the received podcast is brought to you by ring rings mission is to make neighborhood safer

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That's ring.com slash teeth. Are you proud of me? I read it. I, you did a great job and I'll say, I have that now because I bought a new house, you know, and I know I finally am in the modern era and I have a ring doorbell. It is so cool. Super convenient. Yeah.

Sometimes I'll look at it at the camera just to see what's going on in my front yard. Yeah. For no other reason, just like, oh, that seems nice. But talking about West Campus and how everything turns over, I like going to open houses. Yeah. On the weekend. It's like, I think I talked about it in the podcast. I have 100 to open houses. Yeah. On the weekend. It's like, I think I talked about it in the podcast. I have 100% done that.

No, not garage. Just open houses. Just open houses. But yeah, are you done it? I think it's because I'm nosy. Yeah, I'm looking at real estate. I'm curious, like how other people decorate their houses or layouts and stuff like that.

Do you have to lie about why you're there? No, I'm going to tell. I'm not looking at it. I totally think of a story before I go in. I don't, I don't, I don't, an alter you go? Yeah, like, oh, I, you know, I work for the hospital and a, me and my husband are, you know, expecting and... You should work on that story a little more.

It's not super believable. Yeah. We work in hospital. Yeah, which hospital? It's a Dalian. The one? Yeah. That big one. A couple of weeks ago, I went to look at a house.

That's kind of close to a West Campus. It's not really in West Campus, but it's on the edge of it. And it turns out that, well, while I was driving there, and I guess it's the point of the story, and I passed by like this, it looked like a burned out husk of a building and it had like three Greek letters on it. I guess it used to be like some flat house and it like spray painted all over it.

It says like no loitering. It's like, oh, well they're obviously gonna be tearing this down as part of like West Campus Department to build something else huge on it. But anyway, like two houses down from it was this open house and it turns out it was Ann Richards old house.

Whoa. Yeah. That must have been a long time ago because she lived in the Nikona for the last decade or so, she was alive, I think. Like it was on the pamphlet, you know, they have like a pamphlet. Yeah, warm shoes around for a long time.

Was it a nice house? It was, it was interesting. It was, it was pretty nice. It was super dated. Was it historically protected? No. Probably. No.

No. How big was it? Do you think it's haunted? I don't think so. It was like, but it had some creepy spaces in it. It was like 3 3200 square feet. Oh, yeah. There were like crawl spaces. Like you could open doors and hatches

and like crawl under the house. That's great. And then there was like one room that was kind of like a crawl space that you had, but it had like a washer and dryer in it. I was like, this seems like the scariest laundry room I've ever seen in my life. Like I,

You have to like tunnel in. If I lived in this house, I would never fucking set foot in there. Like one of the walls was unfinished. It was just kind of like dirt in like the cross-based laundry room area. Like the rest of the house was fine, but that one room was like super creepy.

Like what did the house cost? And Richard's old house. She said, just so people know, it may not be, there she's the old governor of Texas. She was the governor of Texas. Very popular. We loved her very much. I sat next the old governor of Texas. She was the governor of Texas, very popular. We loved her very much.

I sat next to her on a plane when she was super rude to me, didn't matter, don't care. She was badass and she was great on King of the Hill. For the record, I look at really nice houses with no intention of buying. Sure, of course. It was $1.3 million. It was $1.3 million.

Okay, yeah. Wow. But it needed a lot of work. I was wondering the other day, because I was reading something about Elizabeth Warren, and she went to UT law school, I guess. Oh, she did. I wonder, like, where Elizabeth Warren apartmented in West Campus?

Like, she must have, right? Like, she must have been Riverside. She might have lived in Riverside. She might have lived by us, back in the day. Yeah. Who's Elizabeth Warren? She is a Senator from Massachusetts, who is running for president.

She's the front runner. Right, I didn't even. I, well, one of these. She's the frontrunner. I didn't even I Well, I don't hurt her Bernie Bernie Bernie and Bernie and Biden and her like it's but I think Biden's got it You think you think of currently. Yeah, I think it's I think it's just name recognition right now But like there are 24 fucking candidates. I think that's what it is. No, I think it's just people He is or fucking candidates. I think that's what it is. No, I think it's just people who don't keep running. He doesn't stand out. I think yeah, he needs to come back and run for,

he should stay awesome. I think it's, people keep asking, we're not people keep asking, but I've been asked several times to hear around just like the people that we work with, like, oh, you know, who's your favorite person that's running for president? It doesn't fucking matter.

Yeah, like living in Texas, it doesn't matter. Like, you have no say in it here. It's like, they'll pick someone by the time, like we get to vote on anything. It's like it's already decided. It's already done by the time. I don't have that attitude though. We get anything around here. It's true. It's yeah, but you can't think that way. It's not the food. What I always say is the only reason to have a preference is if you want to donate money to a political campaign Yeah, and that and this is the time where you could theoretically make a difference or promote like to socially, like, yeah. Right.

But we are vote like on at that point for the Democratic candidate. It will be like mostly decided at that point. I would, I mean, I would honestly right now, if you're, if you're gonna vote for the Democratic candidate or your interested in it, I would just wait for the debate so they can winnow out all the 24 candidates ridiculous. You don't want to donate money to the wrong person if that's your thing. Yeah. Like let the thin the hurt a little bit before and see who the actual candidates they're

going to, then they're going to get past their, their name recognition bump or whatever and see who's left six months for that. Do you watch, and would you watch last week tonight? Uh, check that out. Not religiously, but I do. Last night they had a segment where they talked about like who's going to be the next Prime Minister of the UK and like what that process is like. And I guess there's like, they talked about like nine different candidates. It's like, when's the election? I don't know

when they selected. I think it's going to be in a couple of weeks. I think Theresa May her last day was officially last Friday, but I think she's staying on through the transition until they selected new Prime Minister. Is it going to be Boris Johnson? Uh, he's currently the front runner. Yeah, I know. Uh, but yeah, they, and they, and they, they, and they just talk about like how weird is, and they highlighted like one of the guys who, whose whole campaign thing seems to be going around on Twitter and making videos saying, um, at so and so place, I'll be here for the next few hours if you want to come talk.

Oh, just look. Going around trying to talk to as many people as possible. Speaking of news or kind of a news show, we have a new show. Oh, we do. But a great segue, Chris. Yeah, I did it. Actually news. That was really good, Chris.

Thank you. Thank you very much. Oh, Chris, yeah. It was the first time anyone was clapping for me on the podcast. Yeah, let's look at the first time you've been coherent. Not sarcastic clapping either. But yeah, we have a new show premiering on Friday on Rich Teeth and Saturday on YouTube.

I'm so excited for the show. Oh my God, it's so funny. It's called Get Fact. You gotta see the name, get back, promoting your focus. So they'll know what to look for. It's like a comedy news show. It's not like super political or topical. It's more like nonsensical investigating news topics

that don't need to be investigated. So like we have an episode about children and are they replacing us? Or are they coming for us? It's just like a deep dive into children and what are they? So it's like 48 hours or 60 minutes, like hard hitting. Hard hitting.

Yeah, journalism. I like it. There's also been some questions about RT shorts and stuff like that. And people think that this is a replacement for it. It's not like we're just taking a short break to do some writing and filming for shorts and stuff like that and this is going to air during that time so you're constantly going to have awesome content.

You're concentrating. Yeah, we're shooting a short on Thursday. We are. A lot of that. They're still happening. A lot of that get fact stuff was so fucking funny. There was like, I would stand here, you know, where you filmed some of it over here. And I would just stand here in the dark,

like trying to stifle my laughter while I'm filming stuff. Spoil anything, but there was something that Gus was in for one of the segments, where he had to be outside in a costume. Jesus. And it was like the coldest day of the year. And you had like these tiny little like gloves on.

I was so fucking miserable. And I just like, I came up to you guys because I was filming something with you guys too. And Gus just like, I'm so fucking cold. It was, it was literally the cold. It had been like 80 degrees the day before and then it was the coldest day of the year, the next day and that film. It was like, it was like, it was shooting and all of a sudden we're almost done. We were like five minutes from finishing and then a group of kids started playing outside

at a playground next to where we're shooting. So we had to move like two blocks away. Well, we had to find a place to move to. So everyone had to be walking around. I was dressed in that stupid-ass costume trying to find a place for us to fill. And before people start getting on us for like, oh, Texas, how cold could it be?

It's like, it's cold for the time of year it was, but also for what you were wearing. It wasn't even real close. It was like a costume. So, on that level, yes, you would have been freezing anywhere else you would have been fine. Yeah, and I would have been fine here. Whatever I would have normally worn to the office, if I'd been standing outside, it would

have been fine. It's just like wearing that costume was super thin. And like, you're at those gloves, we're like a fucking joke. Yeah. And then I think it started raining briefly too. Oh, yeah, you're out those gloves, we're like a fucking joke. Yeah. And then I think it started raining briefly too. Oh yeah, it was raining too. So it was like cold wet rain. Yeah, we have a, can we do a promo?

Can we do a show? Yeah, a clip. Yeah, 30 seconds. You're bringing a clip. Can I do that? It's like a late night talk show. Yeah, so we do clips on off topic all the time. Really?

Yeah, we will clips every episode. You guys got that clip ready? That's really beautiful bean footage. Get that. You asked for newt, We're sending nudes. And every minute, news breaks. That's why we kept the receipt. You need a new Steve, you can hear.

Bringing you stories you didn't ask for. And no one else has the inexperience, the ignorance, or the inaccuracies. If no news is good news, then prepare yourself for a great f***ing day. Trust is earned, but that's a lot of hard work. Get fat. You see the costume, I was in.

In that shithead. Very briefly. I think we put it on Twitter too, if you wanna skim through it slowly. Yeah, and there's another promo coming out on Twitter today, I think. Oh yeah. There's, I'm also not gonna swirl this one.

There's an episode that you guys filmed where you had a lot of makeup done to you. Oh God, oh, there's a clip of it on that. Where I didn't know that you guys were filming that day. And then I was in the office and you still had it on. And I think I legitimately had a jump scary action when I saw Chris. Oh really?

It was like a, Jesus Christ, like what the fuck is wrong with you? I still have those teeth that I sometimes put on without telling people, and just like working at my desk, and people come up and I smile. Oh God, it's so unsettling. Yeah.

It was coming out this weekend. And I look at that, that actually, somebody actually made a reference to one time that one on his birthday parties, I was talking to you, at a bar, I don't know if you remember this. And it's an interesting segue because there's something I wanted to do anyway,

but I asked you what you do at Roosterth, and you're like, I was like, no seriously, what do you do? I don't know. And you were like, froze, you're like, I mean, I do lots of stuff. And I was like, name one thing, and you're like, and I had the,

I was so entertained by it. I love to tell that story. But I wonder, like, what, because I don't work with y'all, y'all have the bungalow and that whole new thing. What did, what, like, what did you do today, Gus? I always wondered that, like, what, from 10 a.m. to 9 a.m. whatever you came in the morning.

Monday's, Monday's are weird for me, because I spend a lot of time trying to read news and organize stuff in order to get ready for the podcast. Today though, the first thing I do is I had a meeting this morning with someone to take care of some administration stuff out there. Then I, let me look at my calendar. I think I spent the rest of the day. That sounds like such a fake meeting. Someone to take care of the administration stuff out there. We were talking about earlier. Gotcha. Then we had the all hands here.

Oh yeah, how was that? Then I had a, it was fine. Then I had another meeting about the podcast. And then I did some more research and reading. Okay, we're here. How about you, Chris? I'll put you on the spot. I just second to give you time. This morning I was like prepping that show for like post. We had our, yeah, we had our editor who'd been like editing the whole show. He, uh, his last day was today. So we had to transition to, uh, Neil, who's editing finishing it up. So it was like getting him up speed, getting, doing, you know, yeah. Neil's the one who's been doing all the editing on the shorts. Yeah. He's been killing it. Uh, Neil's good. He used to work for a two-minute. Yeah. And so I was just getting, we were going through stuff, getting graphics and stuff. Then we did a Twitch stream, which we're streaming on Twitch a lot now. Every Monday, me and Blaine and John have been streaming from like 12 to 2 did that and

then we did all hands. And then I was like doing more post stuff. I got a couple other projects kind of in development that I was like doing edits on and kind of playing with and working on. And then this podcast of five. I mean, definitely no such thing as a typical day for any of us I think. Yeah, it changes every week. I'm sure you guys understand.

What's up? No such thing as a typical day. No, not at all. That's why I'm just genuinely curious about like how you all feel your days because like my day is different every day. Like the day I had today will be very different from the day I have tomorrow. Yeah, I feel like it's either meetings or filming or a combination of both. Yeah.

Like you know those two from being in like a more kind of like administrative kind of role or like manager. Managerial or not really a managerial. It's just like so many goddamn meetings about everything all the time. Well, I put Trevor in the role to take those meetings away so I don't have to do them as much anymore

but I have just as many meetings but they're like meetings that I have want to have now. I suppose the meetings that I have to have, which is nice. I think for me Mondays are the most consistent days. I know like at four o'clock, you know, even though we started the podcast at five at four o'clock, I'm gonna be sitting here. So it's like I try to get everything lined up. Yeah. Ready that way when I sit down at four. Thursdays and Fridays are probably my favorite days at Rischchee's because Thursdays are film day. That's when we film our shorts. And then Friday, we have a group scrum where we go over the week and what we wanna do next

we can sort of like that and different things we're working on and writing and whatnot. But then Friday kind of feels like a nothing day after that because if people are like the shoots done, it's like you can't really accomplish much else that week. So it feels almost like a more relaxed day. I feel weird because sometimes like people in that office will hang out kind of in front of my door,

and they'll like, they'll talk out there, and I feel like an asshole when I have to close my door. Sometimes it's loud. Well, you say that I'm literally right next to where they stream. Oh shit, and I'm right next to the kitchen. Yeah. So I'm like, I always close that, I close them under all the time. Yeah.

Mm. Because you're usually writing and stuff like that too. Yeah. So it's like, just, I don't know. There's no good place to really be where you don't have people talking. Right. No. I think we need that.

Anywhere from 7am to 9am in Ruchteeth is nice and quiet. Yeah. 9. I mean, yeah. No one comes in before 10. 10 is the correct time. Oh, I thought you meant 9 was too late. Jeremy and I are in by 9 every day. I love coming in at like 9 or something because it's like, it's so quiet.

I'm normally alone in the bungalow or in the other office. I should come over and hang out with you in the mornings before everybody gets in. We can have Gus and Jeff time. No, I'm drinking coffee and answering email. That's weird. I drink some other often. That should come over and hang out with you in the mornings before everybody gets in. We can have Gus and Jeff time. No, I'm drinking coffee and answering email. That's a good idea. I drink some coffee today. As a part of my day, the first thing I did today was we have, we're doing a,

I never know what you're not allowed to talk about and what you are. Can you know, like, we're doing like a coffee thing. A 300 is doing a coffee thing. Yeah. And so I got to go and like taste test coffee and talk to a guy about coffee for like two hours.

That's pretty cool. Fucking awesome. Like a documentary. I made the best cup of coffee I've ever made today. How did you do it? Really? Yep. I made a lavender latte with the little, the espresso machine.

You made one for me one time. I did. The one I had today was perfected. It was a little too strong in the lavender, I think the one you made me. So I think you're perfect. How do you make that? How do you do that?

Well, I used that fancy coffee machine that Bernie had. Got, you know, the silver one. It's like in the espresso. Yeah, I do that. So you used an espresso and you made the best cup of coffee of your life? Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of it. There's a lot of it.

There's a lot of it. So it's like you steam the milk. So the milk made it. Well, someone has to operate the machine. It was his combination. I steam the milk. I add some lavender syrup. And then I do some that.

I'm on your side. But I got the perfect consistency. How do you say it? Lavender. No, the coffee part. Espresso. Espresso. You would say in espresso.

I know. I feel like that's the most common fuck up that people do. So many people say espresso. Expresso. Yeah, that's the most common fuck up that people do. So many people say expresso. Expresso. Yeah, it's cool. It's like it sounds more exciting than espresso. I can't say.

Expresso yourself. Yeah. Are you excited about E3? I don't. Yeah, I think I am. I forgot that it was even happening. I watched. I came into work today and everybody was like,

what about all the press conferences? And I was like, halo, what? I didn't, I completely slip my mind. I watched all of them. I watched all of them. I missed actually, what about all the press conferences? And I was like, hey, low what? I completely slip my mind. I watched all of them. I watched all of them. I missed the PC conference, because I had a meeting in the afternoon. And so I couldn't see it.

No, it's been so under my radar. I think it's been good so far. Yeah, I think. 2020 is when the project Scarlet comes out, right? That's the new Xbox. It's not like an X or an S. It's not a new, it's not like an X or an S. It's a whole new console. Next, they refer to as an X generation. Next generation. So it's like, is there going to be a PS5 then? Yeah, they are. And Sony's already released

technical specs for what that would be as well. I don't think I've seen anybody, or the internet reaction, anything as crazy as they did with Keanu Reeves popping up. Yeah, there was a like insane reaction. But what was just just can't read people in a video. He's having like a moment like he's really. He's all like, I guess he's had a perpetual moment more so than normal. I think it's because maybe it's John Wick and I don't know enough about E3 like I haven't seen enough of the press conferences and events that they have but is it very not typical for a real like actor celebrity to be shown? I mean you have them. Yeah.

There was a big deal in Norman Reedus did the PT stuff right? Or death's fan thing. Well, John, what's his name? John Bernthal in the UK. John Bernthal, yeah. Today. I just, it just seems to fit. Canary seems like a, yeah.

Yeah, for that. I mean, it's John Wick. He's also, he got that Netflix movie that always be my maybe. He's in. He's in that? Yeah, he's not a star. He's got a couple of scenes, which he's really good. He's, I think my favorite part of that movie.

But I think, like, I was trying to think about it last night or this morning. It's like, I think his moment and his popularity right now, it hear me out, and it's gonna sound weird. I think this is all spring-borted off of the sad Keanu. I was wondering that. I was wondering that. I was wondering what is a meme. How does that affect someone's popularity?

Right, because I think you know, you counter it's always big, right? He had the matrix. He had a really great career. Bill, he had a huge career in the 80s. Well, I think that, you know, there was a period of time where either by choice or whatever, like he wasn't in,

he wasn't as high profile as he is now. When would you put that period of time? That's like when the sad Keanu was, he was like post matrix, pre- is now. And I think that's when said, that's like when the sad Keanu was, he was like post matrix pre John Wick. Yeah, I would agree. And I think that's when sad Keanu hit. And I think that kind of like brought him back into the forefront.

I think that thing that helped him have longevity in his career, aside from being a good actor who's made smart choices with his roles, is that he fucking looks 30 years old still. Like he's got a awesome genetics. You know, that dude's in his 50s. And he looks younger.

He looks, he looks Chris's age. Yeah. He really does. He really does. How old are you? 35, 36. I'm 32. Are you that young?

Yeah. He's a Kenner Reeves. We turn four when we hired you? Kenner Reeves will turn 55 this summer. Yeah. When did I first meet you? You were like 15 or 16. 15 or 16? I first meet you? You were like 15 or 16? I know I met Gus when I was 15 or 16.

What was the first time we met? Was it RBBTO or? Probably. I thought I knew you before then. Well, I mean, that's just like new of. We knew each other, but like in person, I don't know. Maybe it was. I'm a best turn 30.

That's crazy. Yeah. So I've known you guys for half my life, officially. That's a lot. Yeah. It's, I feel like there's a weird thing too. Oh, so there's people who, when they grow up and like, there's like a thing where some people get super old,

super fast. Yeah. And there's some people who are just like, they just maintain like, like in terms of the way they look. They look and also their lifestyle. I think lifestyle also has to do with the way people look. Yeah.

There are three people that fit that category to me that I always think about. Kiana Reeves is the first one. The second one is Robert Any Jr. I mean, granted, he's starting to show his age now but he looked really young for a really long time. Yeah. And the other one is Paul Rudd.

That's Scar Ram. I was gonna bring that up. Scar Rambo and Chat was talking about Paul Rudd. Paul Rudd is 80. He was born in 1912. He is so young looking. The one that gets me, and I know he's clearly old and looks old, but not this old is William Shatter.

Shatter is old. How old do you think he is? I got 80s. Yeah, I know he's really, he's like 86. I want to say. He's like approaching 90. That guy, I thought he was like early 70s. Blocked me on Twitter. Yeah. He was like early 70s block me on Twitter. Yeah, he did

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While you're in that somebody in the chat had another good one. Fucking for real for all Williams. I want to see. He's in his late 40s or 50s. Look, if you look around for a while, I don't know. He was old when he came onto the scene. I don't like no women are part of this. Susan Sarandon. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Crawford sitting Crawford. City Crawford was amazing. Yeah, for all 46. She's also 46. Yeah. Oh, Crawford, sitting Crawford. Sitting Crawford was amazing. Yeah. For all 46. She's also 46. Yeah. Um, he looks like he's about to for real.

Very good. So I went, I did a panel at the ATX television festival a few years ago. Oh, yeah. And on the panel with me were, um, some writers for like some TV shows and, like some actors and stuff. And we got to the point where we were talking about social media usage and one of the actors commented on how there's a he I forgot how we phrased it, but he said something like there's always there's always like a bigger actor out there who will sometimes look at a smaller actor online and then focus like hate at them via social media outlets. And then the person sitting next to that actor said, oh, I've had that too.

And the person sitting next to me who was a writer for, who's the showrunner for bones said, oh, y'all are talking about William Shatner, aren't you? What? And they go, yeah, we are. And they're all like, yeah, they're like all sharing dick, these horrible William Shatner stories, where William Shatner just like,

just sort of burrating them on Twitter or on social media. Like God. And then one of them was like, yeah, I blocked him on Twitter, then he found my Facebook page and started sending me messages on Facebook. It's like burrating me. I was like, and I didn't have any William Shatner stories. So I was like, well, I'm glad I'm not you guys.

William Shatner's never noticed me. So then one of them looks into the audience, he goes, everyone tweet at William Shatner story, so I was like, well I'm glad I'm not you guys. William Shatner's never noticed me. So then one of them looks into the audience, he goes, everyone tweet it, William Shatner right now and tell him that he should send a message to Serella. That's Serella. I was like, no, no, no, don't you sound good? It's okay, it's fine.

And I did, I'm sure. Yeah, and of course some people did. And then the next day, William Shatner tweeted at all of us and was like, don't think I didn't hear about what y'all were saying about me. And then you was blocked, that was it. That's so funny. Why does he give a shit about how?

I don't know, I didn't say anything. It wasn't my fault, I was just sitting there. But that's such a weird thing to be focused on at all. Why does he care about? Yeah, people's opinion, like people he doesn't know is opinions of him, like in terms of. Don't think I didn't hear. Like if you were William Shatner.

Shatner has eyes everywhere. Oh my God, you are blocked. That's why. Why do these, something like someone like William Shatner, I don't know why he would care about that stuff. Like he's so famous. I think Shatner has, I don't want to get blocked here, but based on my history with the Howard Stern Show, where

Shatner's on all the time, but then so are other people from Star Trek. Yeah. Obviously, what's his face? George K is a big part of the Stern Show, so they talk about Shattered a lot. I think he has kind of like famously thin skin. Really? Yeah.

Well, Shattered, if you're listening to this, I respect you. Don't even mention him. My parents went to the gig. You're gonna get it all blocked. Don't tell me. You're parents went to the gig. You're going to get a whole block. I read every tech war. Yeah, so that was it. I listened to your spoken word album in high school.

I told you guys the story of Christopher Lloyd when I met him for the first time. I think you did. It was me and Aaron Zeck were at supernova you guys have done before and on that trip what they do is for all the guests that they have at the con they put them all at the same hotel and they shuttle them on a bus to the convention so everyone kind of like essentially it's like big summer camp for all the special guests that were there and Chris Rhelloid was one of the guests that was going to be at this con and me

personally I don't really care about getting photos with celebrities or meeting them or whatever. I avoided it all costs. Me too. But my younger brother is like a huge back to the future fan. And I was like, he's going to be here. Like, I could probably just like ask for a quick snap and like send it to my little brother. I think he would think that was cool. So we're all waiting in the hotel lobby to get picked up. Everyone's kind of hanging out and just chatting. And he's with two people.

I think one of the people is like his agent and someone else is maybe a handler of some sort for him. And I go up to him and I go, hey, I'm sorry to bother you, but my younger brother is like a huge fan of the future. And I was wondering if I could just grab a quick photo with you. And he like kind of stands there looking at me. And the people who he kind of stands there looking at me. And the people who he's with are also looking at me. And then they look back to him and back to me.

And I'm just awkwardly standing there. It feels like this is five minutes. And then he looks to, I guess, his agent and he goes, oh, maybe later. And I just go, cool man, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe later. And I just go, cool man, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry about you.

Like I wanted to kill myself at that. Yeah. It was horrible. And so we were just at a convention a couple of weeks ago where he was going to be a special guest there. And I was just like avoiding eye contact with him at all costs. I know he doesn't remember that moment, but I do. You do.

And I was like, I don't want to do that again. I'm just going to avoid him and not talk to him, even if he's nice. Like I just, and that is why I will never, I mean, mine is because of the Charles Barkley story, but that I've told a million times, but that's why I would never do it. Because now anytime you see Christopher Lloyd in a movie,

you're going to be like, oh fuck, I had that was embarrassing. And like I don't, Luckily you can't really see him in a movie. I don't think anything less of him. I think he was just maybe in a confusing position because he didn't know we were also guests at the con and maybe he thought like because he's doing photo ops at the convention and people pay for those

and it's like a this awkward thing that his agent would be mad about. So I don't think he's an asshole. It was just embarrassing. And that's it. Yeah, that's rough. Yeah. I got turned down.

Oh, earlier a bunch of people were asking and the my shirt people were asking about my shirt, it's a Jeff shirt, it's coming out this summer. It's part of the summer stuff. So I just, I like that a lot. Look for it on the store eventually. Thank you. Yeah, I didn't realize I was teasing it

until I lay down, but yeah. Roll the clip. I mean, is that a clip? No, a clip. I saw, I'm always amazed. I feel like sometimes, I sit down and I think about the technology we have or the things that we use. Sometimes like like, sometimes like if you think about it's like, wow, we live in the future. Like from when I was a little kid, like we have some of this cool stuff. You can talk to you on your doorbell.

With the ring doorbell. With this podcast brought to you by ring. But I saw something the other day on YouTube that really made me feel like that looks like that's the future, where it was this device that Panasonic made, where you can sit down and it's a mirror, right? And it's a mirror that's intent like a vanity, so you can put makeup on, right? But this mirror looks at your face and it scans your face and it detects whatever, it detects imperfections, quote unquote, on your face. And then what it does is, after scanning your face, it prints out a custom little piece of makeup

that you can apply to your face. So it's like, if you want to cover blemishes or workmarks, right. It's like, you don't have to apply the makeup yourself. It prints out a fake face. You can put over your face. What? Like, if you want to put all your makeup on at once.

Like, like the fucking Simpsons makeup gun. Yeah. So like, what the fuck? But how does it know what color your face is? Like, there's like white balance and like all these it's like a mask you put on. You can see she's applying it right there. She just put water on it and then almost like a temporary tattoo. Right. And it covers up like she had freckles and she didn't want them anymore. So she covered them up with this thing that a printed a new face. It printed a part of a face like I like and stuff like that. I don't think it's that complicated yet.

But like that guy wanted that covered up. So he got like something printed out and. Oh my god and covered it. And I looked at that and it's like that seems like something like you would see like in a sci-fi movie where some you know someone wakes up and they're like, oh, shit, I'm late for work. Got to, you know, got to print my face. I'm going to print my face. We'll be doing it.

We can have a bunch printed. You can just be in the car and just be like, yeah. Dude, that is weird. What I'm looking at it now, this was posted on this channel back in March. This video has 4,000 views. That's it. Like 4,300 views.

Do you, do you have a moment you think of, like, we're living in the future moment when you, like, outside of that, that you would, like, go to? Because there's one that you and I have, or that I have with you that you may not realize. Which is, when we used to watch the fucking serial experiments, like, I thought I was thinking about that the other day.

You had that nabby, you read that little thing. It's a phone, it's an iPhone, or an iPad, or an iPad mini. And you and I used to talk about like, can you imagine living in a world someday where we can walk around and look at the internet and talk on the phone and play video games and do all of the things that she does.

I was connected. And I'd always be connected, just walking around Tokyo like that. We were so close to that, we had no idea, we were like six years away. I was thinking about serial experiments, Lane. Brian said we had an enemy deep cut coming out. I was thinking about that.

I was at a coffee shop the other day and I was walking out and I was looking at the power lines. I remember like, oh yeah. I was like at the power lines in Austin. I was like, oh, I remember like how much that was like part of the theme of the show and like seeing all of that stuff. I haven't watched that show since it came out on DVD.

What was that like 2001? I've watched anime since I lived with you. Yeah, yeah. It's been a long time. Power lines, if you touch them, do you get shocked? Are they like, if you're grounded? Yeah, if you're grounded. So they, anything could just like,

they're just active electricity that you could, someone could fucking, a bird hits it, do they get shocked? No, because they're just active electricity that you could, someone could fucking, a bird hits it, do they get shot? No, because they're not grounded. They're not grounded. I saw a video of someone with some balloons, a big thing of balloons that hits the power lines and they blow up.

It's because they were hitting multiple lines. Oh, so they, the balloons hit between the lines, so it like, okay. So the charge jumped between lines. I saw that too, they released all those mylar balloons and it apart line so it like so the charge jump between lines. I saw that too, they released all those Mylar balloons in a parking lot. And it was, it was, it was, it was that. Oh my God, oh my God.

And I was like, it's like a star-leash. Shit. I bet all those cars melted. I saw that and I was like, so how is that not happening all the time? Okay, so that makes sense. Yeah. When you guys are saying the new season of Love Island started,

do you mean the US Love Island or the British Love Island? The British Love Island is the only love island. Well, I haven't seen the, no, the Australian Love Island is better than the British, but you just can't watch it in America. It's impossible. What is it? I've been watching the UK Love Island.

UK Love Island's amazing. I've seen the All Four seasons. I need, I think, I've seen every episode of all four seasons. I watched one randomly, but I just needed something dumb to like, mindless watch. Yeah. And I turned on season three of it,

and I've been watching through it. It's a good one. Our long episodes, there's 50 of them. So here's what you can approach it. If you're interested in love island, but you don't need to get that granular with it, but you just wanna get the broad strokes. Yeah.

Every seventh day, they have a recap episode. Right, I skip those. And so, yeah, well, the recap episodes can be interesting because they have unseen footage and stuff, but if you can also just watch the recap episode and skip the other six, and watch a season in like six hours. What is that, Violin?

Love Island is a show that started in the UK. There's also one in Australia. They're bringing it to America, it's one of those shows where it's a reality show where the audience gets to vote on the people in the show. And so they do live voting, but they take like six sexy single girls

and six sexy single guys. And they're always in bikinis. Like for the entirety of the show. They go to like a castle, like a mansion on the... A villa. A villa in the Caribbean somewhere, or like the South of France or somewhere.

And they have to, they're tasked with falling in love and finding their love match. And then they couple up. They couple up, it's actually the way they do it is quite brilliant and disgusting, but super fascinating to watch. It's very disgusting. It all today's from season to season,

but the first episode is literally like six dudes will stand in front of a pool, and they'll parade a woman out, and they'll put her in the shallow under the pool and they go, this is Megan, does anyone want it? If you want to date Megan, step forward. Or if you are interested in Megan. If you're interested in Megan, step forward.

And like four dudes will step forward. The one I want you to reverse, it was the same. And they do it reverse from season two. Sometimes it'll be the men, sometimes it'll be the women. And then that's how they couple up. But sometimes six people will step forward because the guy is really hot or the girl is really hot or nobody will step forward.

And that person just has to fucking stand there while nobody wants the data. And then whoever's left over has the data. And then they're coupled up and they go through, like, just like a reality show, they have to do like couples challenges, you know, or they have to like do sac races and shit as a couple. Yeah.

And they're a couple stuff. Yeah, like whatever dumb stuff they make you do, like, on a reality show. Like, you just kiss, like, drink a bunch of Kool-Aid and then spin it into your partner's mouth and they have to put it in a picture and remember Phil's the picture. Like cover your partner and hot dogs.

Cover your partner. Yeah, like thumb, just dumb shit. But and then every couple days, they'll have a coupling ceremony and then America will, or do you care, whoever votes on who their least favorite couple is and those people are gone. And at the end, the couple that survives to the end,

I'm not even close to done by the way. They also keep bringing in new people. I'm not even close to done by the way. They also keep bringing in new clothes. I'm not even close to done. Yeah, because it's so complex. And it's so how do people vote it? Is it like, who? Is it on on your cell phone? Yeah, but I mean, like, how do people

still like criteria? Right, like what? It's who you like, or it's a popularity test. Okay. But it's because you're watching it, like some people are strategic, and they're like, yeah, we're gonna screw them over, or whatever, and then the audience is like,

I fucking hate that guy, he's a bad guy, she's a mean girl, whatever. And so the audience is like, I fucking hate that guy, he's a bad guy, she's a mean girl, whatever. And so the people are trying to trick the other cast members but also endure themselves to the audience. So it's kind of multi-layered. But then also sometimes the show will just throw curveballs and vote people off, the show will vote people off and just say like, you're gone or whatever.

But they'll also, they'll just, they'll go, also we have a surprise for you tonight, there are three new guys coming in and two of them are gonna stay, figure out who the two that get to stay are. And then the love island people will get the pick who gets to stay and leave. And one episode I watched in season two or three,

they brought in like 10 new guys, 10 new people. And they're like, here's 10 entirely new people. Two different villas with that. Yeah, and then they have all the original and they recombiners. Yeah. But so it starts with 12 people by the end of 50 episodes, there might have been 30 to 40 people who have

cycled through. Yeah. And it's really interesting. And it's one of the things that's really interesting is all those new people very rarely get to stay. The people that are like the original 12, or really, it went, it went us down to like the a seven or eight pretty quickly. Those people form a pact and they just don't let anybody else in. Yeah, which is smart. Yeah, it is smart, but it's

interesting. And so like, the people get hot or each week and they just have to find a reason not to like them or just to see audience not to like them so they can stay because it becomes less about winning and more just like being on the show as long as possible. I'm two favorite things about the show. One is that unlike other reality shows, similar like The Bachelor, where there's like a camera crew and whatever, they have cameras just placed everywhere and they're constantly wearing these like lovelier microphones on them.

Yeah, they live like loves because they're in bikinis or like, yeah, whatever they can be had. So you never see camera crews because it's just like, they're constantly being filmed at, or even in their bedrooms. Like, it's like very invasive.

And they fuck a lot and they fight a lot and they encourage like all reality shows, they just shovel alcohol down their throats all day and all night long. And it's insane. Watching the UK version, I've never realized how badly I understand certain UK accents. You're just watching, you're like,

all right, yeah, this brawl comes in, she's right fit. Yeah, when you get like, I'm thinking that I'm going yeah, this brawl comes in, she's right fit. Yeah, when you get like, you know, I'm thinking that I'm going, don't my girlfriend, she's right fit. Yeah, when you get some of the cheer your people in there, it's like, it can be really hard to fuck, I understand what they're saying. Talking so fast, yeah. I've had to put subtitles on. But so there's one in Australia, I like the one in Australia better because the people are even hotter in Dumber or Australia. But there's one that just started in the US. There's also, I'm deep on reality TV. If you like Love Island, New Season,

Temptation Island was fantastic. Paradise Island, a paradise hotel is going on right now. I just started that. That's a really good one. I'm only three episodes in. Dude, you're speaking my language of this. I love, like, I recognize that these shows are so bad, but they are so perfectly mindless

and entertaining in that way. It is the only way I can turn my brain off for work. Yeah. I, uh, I got like band-of-pump rules, which I watch really soon. I got contacted about being on a reality show one time. Oh, no, I was thinking about one that Aaron and Blaine got contacted. What's your run?

Make it dating. Did you really make it in a freight? Or something? I don't know. I don't know. It was some naked romance reality show. Why didn't you do it? I started feeling out the application.

It was a long time ago. It was like when we were at 636. And then I started feeling out the application, but it was like, there was too many restrictions. Dating naked. Dating naked might have been that. Yeah. It's just like, I think a friend, someone I'd gotten a college

with was working in their casting agency, it was like, hey, so and so, so it referred to you as a good naked data or something. I don't know. Years ago, when we were still in the Bueta apartment, do you remember naked news? Yes. I remember you wanting desperately to be on naked news.

They contacted us and they wanted to do a new story about Rooster Teeth. I remember sneaking watching that show because I was way too young to be watching that show No, it's just like scandalous. They wanted to do a story about rooster teeth and I said the only way Uh, we would do it is if I got to be naked They wouldn't do it. They wouldn't fucking come. They wouldn't do it If I was naked seen or heard of the show called I believe it's called naked attraction

It's another show. It's a UK show. That's what, that's just phenomenal. Secretties, I thought. On chat just said. In Europe or in the UK, and you're just like flipping through channels and all of a sudden it's like, there are dicks.

Dude, it's awesome. Lots of dicks. You can see like interflap. Yeah, it's crazy, but Jesus. How, do you know what the show is? I thought you asked for a new interflap was. No, I don't. Barbara, maybe you could explain it better than me,

but it's insane. Okay, I'm gonna try to explain it as simple as possible. Basically, there's one person, it's either a guy or a girl who's like the contestant, and they have 20 or 30, 26 people? Six people, it's six people. That's way more than that.

I've only ever seen it six. It's like the six booths that raise up from the bottom. Oh, I've seen it being like 30, 20 or 30. I've only seen it being, I've only seen it being six. Where I don't think you see the person's face, you just see their literal entire naked body. Oh, I think you showed me a clip of this. It's just, yeah, yeah.

You just see their face and you have to like, decide if we're gonna date them or something. You don't see the face of the man. That's not a myth, the opposite. just see their face and you have to like decide if we're gonna date them or something. No, you don't see them. You don't see a thing. They're fit them in the opposite. Yeah. But literally it's like, it'll be a guy going, well, I do like big boobs.

I'm a boob man. And they look like double d's, but they're very mouth-formed. And this goes, she's a beacup, but it's a very perky bee. And I guess, and they're just having like a very like nonchalant. Yeah. Like they're picking a piece of meat at the butcher. Yeah, very much.

Or like a girl being like, yeah, I prefer circumcised guys and he's- His balls are a little like that. He's got a big dick, but it's discolored. I don't know. And then eventually they narrow it down each as it goes up. And they're like, out of all the knees, which knee do you like the least? And I'm like, those gross knees.

Also, they slowly, you don't slow it in. No, it's a process. And then you pick somebody and then they come out naked and then that person has to then just robe and come out naked so they can meet each other naked and they go on a date cloth. It's just, it's so weird. It's weird. But it kind of demystifies nudity.

Right, which I feel like it's more of a European. Yeah, it's like, when I thought it, I was like, oh cool beat off material. It's totally not. It's not in the least. I can't imagine beating more of a European. Yeah, it's like, when I thought it, I was like, oh cool, beat off material. It's totally not. It's not in the least. I can't imagine beating after that show, but it's, I mean, I'm 43, I can't imagine beating off anyway, but it's, no, that stuff works anymore.

But it's, Chris, after the hell of being in this, it's all opinions. God. But it's just like, it's really interesting, like just how matter of fact they are. And then Arizona like prime time in the UK on like, Millie Goodwatch.

Yeah, I'm sensitive. Yeah, I'm sensitive. Yeah. You will see every bit of a human's body. Wow. Have you ever seen, screen of seen a human's body? Have you ever seen embarrassing bodies? Yes.

No. Every day I shower. Every day I shower. That's like a story where, or not a story. It's a, it's a British show where people have like something strange about their body and they wanna talk to a doctor about it, they can and you get to see it.

Like weird gross or whatever, it's like. Or some weird condition. Yeah, it's like, I've got this thing in my butthole. I don't know what it is. Okay, let's look. I think, is it like they get free healthcare for or like treatment of it if they're gonna be on the show? They already have NHS obviously

But it's like this is like they could see like a private doctor like get you know Bumper get it right get it take care of immediately Do people still like Jerk off to stuff that's not just porn Let's absolutely want to run a poll on that earth I'm sure people have jacked off to this table. Let me let me read read this before we get that pulled up because we're going to go, we're about to go down a rabbit hole. When I'm not sure when this episode received podcast is also brought to you by HelloFresh.

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I mean, I mean, just just not like straight porn. I mean, people have insects. Yeah, that's not just porn as opposed like, oh, wow like, because when I was a kid before, like the internet got us fast. And like, I jerked off to everything. I would jerk off to the Fuzzy Channel on HBO. It was porn, but it was Fuzzy. Yes, like you would do that. I would jerk off to Howard Stern show

and they'd bring out Howard's channel nine show. Yeah, or girls gone wild in four commercials. I would, I would wait for those commercials and be like, I gotta go, I gotta go. We're like, it's the whole time. When first I'm fucking commercial, I come on. And then, or, I mean, magazines, like, what is, what is Cosmopolta? Cosmopolta. Yeah.

The one where they talked about like different. Yeah, any magazine with like, girls in there under where... C.S. catalogs. You got a good Rift Deezer code. Slashplay. If you're watching live. Yeah, I got one. I used to jerk off the Harlequin romance novels.

Yeah. What's the Harlequin romance novel? What? What is that? You don't know what a Harlequin romance novel is? Oh, yeah. I think Harlequin's like the brand or the company that produces them But it's like romance novels. So it's always like I like Fabio and the cover

You just open it up find of sex page and just read three pages and be like I could be after this. Yeah Weird I don't know. Did you read 50 shades of gray? No No, I have a red Chris. You're talking I'm gonna exclude Barbara from this, but you're talking to two dudes who are old enough to have been jerking off before the internet existed. Well, no, I'm just sorry. I was just over there again. The more broader like, like, okay. I'm trying to think of last time I like jerked off to something that wasn't porn.

I literally got a, I saw like someone's like cleavage the other day and I like got me going. Yeah. Well, they can have like, I think I was watching an HBO show like an older HBO show. And there was like a recipe diary, so though I that was I definitely used to master rate that. But I would have sex. It was like an older HBO show. I think it was, um, sex. It was like an older HBO show. I think it was um, uh, game of thrones. No, with, uh, Pacific. And there was like a hot kind of sexy. You jerked off watching the Pacific. There was a nude scene. There was a nude scene. Dude, I'll tell you what, there was a sex scene. Okay, was it, I don't know, there was a sexy and I was like, well, that's kind of hot. And then I was like, I, and I didn't jerk off to that scene, but it inspired me to go jerk off.

I do want to point out this poll is a lot more one side than I expected it to be. Dude, we're looking at like 250 people voting, yes, they jerk off to stuff that isn't just porn. That's insane. Whatever gets you off, fuck your go for it. If you had it, like real deal, this is, I think this is too old for you

because I'm a little bit older than you. That's a dude. Yeah, but I'm older older than you too. Do you remember Dream on or first and 10? I do remember Dream on. I used to jerk off the Dream on at first 10 because Dream on had an every episode there were tits. In every single episode there was at least one set of tits.

That was HBO, right? It was HBO. It was Martin and his friend and every episode some girl got naked and I jerked off to that and then also first and 10 because there was always nudity in that. I didn't have HBO when Dream on was on the air, but a friend of mine did.

So whenever we had sleepovers, I would always want to watch Dream on, but it's like, you can't jerk off when it sucks you're at it. If it's not when you're friend in the same room. I have a question for you guys. Do you need to see both tits in order to get riled up or like it's just one tit? And I can think about them and be phone with it.

Like if one kid is hanging out. I'm okay with one. Yeah. And you know what? It's you can almost like you can figure out what the other one looks like roughly. Well, you don't want it. Yeah, probably, but like that period of time

when every time we left the office, you would see homeless lady boobs. Yeah. I remember that. That's what Gus jerked off. So I think we're done with the poll. Where's obviously a people? Even 75 to one people jerking off. 30, 25. People jerking off.

Yeah, I mean, yeah. It's still barely, I mean, you know, sexually wired most of the time. So it's like anything you see that will remind you of something. It's like, yeah, why not? Even if it's one boob. Even if it's just one boob. Or just the tip of a penis.

Just kidding. Just a mushroom. Do you think you could, you just the tip of a penis. Just kidding, just a mushroom. Do you think you could get aroused from just like, just a penis doesn't arouse me. No. Just, no. Does it need to be erect? Is flaccid work?

No, flaccid doesn't work. It's like it's not an attractive look. No. But also just like penis is in general, like the idea of someone sending me a dick pic doesn't work. Cause it's not an attractive look. No. But also just like penises in general. Like the idea of someone sending me a dick pick is like that there's nothing less appealing to me. Yeah.

Like I would rather, I would much rather look at a naked woman than a naked man most of the time. So it's more of just like being with someone that gets me going. But like in terms of like visual, I'm less about the dicks. Cause they're just not pretty.

I'll give you that. No, I won't argue that point. Yeah. That's a kind of a bummer. Yeah, you're like, that's all I got. Hey, speaking of Dix, did you see that Justin Bieber wants to fight Tom Cruise? Yeah, I saw that.

What? Yeah, he tweeted some, is he serious? He tweeted that he will, I'm gonna find a specific tweet, but that he wants to fight Tom Cruise like, okay, I found the tweet from Justin Bieber. I want to challenge Tom Cruise to fight in the octagon. Tom, if you don't take this fight, you're scared and you will never live it down.

Who's willing to put on the fight? He is the wrong yore, by the way. Yeah, he did. Millie, you're a believer. What's going on there? Got 106 million followers. He didn't even take Tom. What is the, wait, what is the octagon?

It's like a, like, uh, every fight in UFC. Yeah. He just wants to watch. Why did he sing all Tom Cruise? I don't know, Tom Cruise will fuck him up. Tom Cruise, a little guy, he's got slow center of gravity and he's all muscle. He also does that. He also does that, right? Yeah, and I was saying before we started this, Tom, Tom, he's a little guy. He's got a slow center of gravity and he's all muscle and like I was, yeah, and I got saying before we started this or maybe earlier, you don't want to fuck with a, like an older gentleman who's got dad muscles, who's still

in shape in his 50s. Those are the strongest dudes on earth. Yeah. Mark and Swaylo's sort of like one of those guys. Dude, don't mess with him. Yeah, they'll get you. Plus, he's special, a special Scientologist. That would be, that would be, he's gonna go clear all over his ass, a fight the entire world would watch. I would watch it, yeah. Because it spans so many generations.

It doesn't make any sense. That's what I was like. What? Move over to PSI and then. It's like, it's like from the 80s to now. It's like everyone wants to see them fight. Everyone wants to see Tom Cruise beat the Chicago Jones and Denver. I don't know who doesn't want to see that.

That'd be incredible. I, God, I hope that happens. That would, that would, it'll never happen. That was their way, Tom Cruise. The Tom Cruise has no incentive for one to do that. There's like 70 layers of management between that tweet and Tom Cruise before, like no, there's 15 people that would not let him do that.

If I had the chance to beat up Justin Bieber, I would take it. Ooh, some Canadian hatred there. Yeah, it has nothing to do with being Canadian. No. And it has everything to do with Justin Bieber. Is everything to do with being American? And having one of the most punchable faces of all time. I'm sorry if you like Justin Bieber.

I don't think there's a lot of... I'm so ambivalent towards that dude. I don't think there's a lot of crossover care one way or the other. I hope not. It's a it's weird. I he had that that roast on Comedy Central was it a couple of years ago? Be Bieber. Yeah.

Justin Bieber. Yeah. It was like it seemed like I thought at the time that it was going to be like the start of like a new part in his career. Maybe it was like turning over a new leaf and laughing about what he did, but it didn't really seem to do that at all. That reminds me, because I love those roasts, those Friars Club roasts, and then what turned in the Comedy Central roasts were pretty good.

There's a new show in Netflix. I don't know if you've seen it. That's historical roasts. I've seen it. Where Jeff Ross and a bunch of other people get together. I love Jeff Ross. Not very good. Did you watch it?

I watched it. I love history stuff too, and I was like, oh, history in comedy, totally my thing. But yeah, I was in that video career. Yeah. The same. The first, I only watched the first episode, which was Able Lincoln. And it was just, like, it wasn't as funny as you thought it would be. And they got perioded up and they wore costumes and sometimes they did voices and stuff. And it just took you out of it. You just want to see funny jokes. Yeah. I wanted to like a lot more than I did. And I'm like, maybe I was like, maybe it's just not the best episode. But I was like, I'm right there with you.

I'm gonna watch another one to see. But that's for, yeah, it was really disappointing because on paper it sounds amazing. Would you want someone to do a rest of you? I don't think anybody can rest me better than I can rest myself. Hmm. Well that makes you a good candidate for it.

Yeah, I mean, people will rest me all day long, if you want, that I can insult me way worse than anybody else can. Yeah. I know where all this, I know where all the skeletons are buried. I feel like we should have talked about earlier. We got our texts coming up in a couple of weeks. We're like, three weeks away. It's like 24 days away.

Yeah, it's so close. I have to do it a whole comedy special, but I haven't written yet. Hey, you stand up better time to write it. You better get to work on it. I'm going on vacation next week and I was gonna and to California. I was gonna write it well in there. But I'm pretty nervous because I was pretty far along this time last year. How long is it? I got to do five minutes. Last time I did 12, but I had 12 minutes of stuff. I don't have anything.

My girlfriend very correctly pointed out the other day. She was like, what are you gonna do for the standup night? And I was like, I was like, I was just doing my thing. And she goes, the thing you did last year, and I go, well, I've done it a few times. She goes, at this event last year, at the same event at the North Door, for the kind of funny comedy,

you're gonna do the exact same set again, to your's and a row, at the exact same place to the same audience. And I was like, oh fuck. That the exact same set again to your and a row at the exact same place to the same audience and I was like, Oh fuck. That's the reason to come to our KX. All your material by the way. The material, yeah. Bring your friends.

So it'll be a good, oh, there's some lower third. We just had a big meeting about our TX just to go over some details and it was like very exciting that it's coming up so close. It's also so so still so weird to go to those meetings having nothing to do with our KX anymore. It's been weird going back in and I'm not doing a lot, but still just like being back in the loop and yeah kind of knowing what's going on You were free. I thought I was free, but I like this earlier Dates I like when we have it like right against fourth of July. Yeah me too. It's fun Yeah, it'll be a good time. Still time to come down. It's not quite a lot as it is later in the summer,

which is actually a big thing. And it's, it's about things where you like, you feel like you spend all summer working towards it and you're stressed about it and stressed about it and then when RTX is over, summer's over. Yeah, it feels like, yeah, it's like, it's like, it's almost a lot of summer behind it. So, it's fun.

It's like, like you said, like Barbara said, 24 days away. Oh my god, it's crazy. So soon. Get your tickets. Do my god, it's crazy. So soon. Get your tickets. Do it now, rtxevent.com. All right. I think that's about it. I think we should wrap this up.

Thanks for having me on. I'm sorry, it took so long. Gus has been inviting me to the podcast for a little while, but I had to keep saying no for other work obligations. So, I'm glad we finally made it work. I am too, and anytime you want me back, I know less is more with me, so. But yeah. All right, well thanks for watching everybody.

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