Rooster Teeth Podcast - Is Gus the Future for Armando? - # 653

Episode Date: June 15, 2021

Join Gus Sorola, Charlotte McGrath, Barbara Dunkelman, and Armando Torres as they discuss being on a different set for today's episode, all 6 of Armando's jokes, white woman coffee grievances, $70 Playstation 5 games, and more on this week's RT Podcast. This episode was recorded June 14, 2021 and is sponsored by Squarespace (Squarespace.com/roosterteeth), Brooklinen (Brooklinen.com + Code: ROOSTER), and Canva (Canva.me/rooster). RTTV is sponsored by ExpressVPN (http://expressvpn.com/rttv) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church, twisted metal, streaming now, on peacock. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Rooster Teeth is brought to you by ExpressVPN. Don't let hackers steal your private financial data. We're in a slightly different location right now. I'm Barbara and I'm Gus. I didn't have a funny thing. We're in a slightly different location right now. We had to do the podcast from a different area. Our normal stage was unavailable at the moment. We're here at our other studio doing the podcast. It feels really weird to be in this building.

The piece out, yeah. It was really funny. We were walking around. Some people are, I guess, what's the word when you use your computer from a different location, promoting in, promoting in. And I could see people working on things on their computer that aren't here.

So I just see like, mouse is moving around. I didn't look, it's that. It's so funny. It's terrifying. Did you see anyone visiting sites they shouldn't? Because then they should get ExpressVPN. This is the ghost office. There's actually all ghosts out there.

This is the this is the RT black site. It's 40 miles underground. You need top level RT clearance to get in here. And you guys got it. Yeah, we got it. I actually found out so much about the apparently rooster teeth killed John F. Kennedy. So well, they led to the events that in which transpired his passing. Yes, so can you

Yes, you didn't know that because you found it this company. You did it. Listen, I can't talk about it. The clearance on that doesn't doesn't expire for another 10 years. As we get in 10 years, it's like I can talk about it. Is there a combination of words that can Ruby Jen lock? combination of words that Ruby Jen lock You're one away you're one away Kim camp no You'll get it someday vicious Wow the blueberry smells strong what does it smell like blueberries? Yeah, smells like actual blueberry

Popping up Yeah, it smells like actual blue You're spilling over there It's popping up So we I'm really annoyed again at the state of Texas. Yeah Wait, which we are in the state of the state of the state of the state of the state of the state of the state of the state of the electric grid or the state of Texas. Okay, you all weren't here But Barbara was here. You remember back in February the whole state froze and most of the state of Texas. Okay. Uh, you all weren't here, but Barbara was here. You remember back in February, the whole state froze and most of the state was without power for a week. You guys heard about it. Uh, we're all such good friends. Yeah. We checked in on us. Well, we had to pick up some of the slack on our TV every now. So I tell you, we did more than our share of hard work that week. I actually was recording. Uh, I have my own podcast and I was recording an episode where Blaine Gibson was featuring as a guest

And he goes, hey guys, just so you guys know, there's like this crazy like snowstorm going on right now So I if like something like cut out of my internet might have problems Whatever and then he just dipped out and hit the blackout happen And so we have recorded the moment where Blaine Gibson lost power. I didn't realize he was recording with you guys when it happened. You can't get all one out. Yeah.

We have it recorded when Blaine Gibson lost his power. That's amazing, man. But you still have an NFT. Yeah, I'm sure. What episode? It's the called podcast, I imagine. It was a called podcast episode. I can't remember which episode it was.

I got to figure that out. I'm trying to log it. That's actually really interesting that you found a way to plug your own podcast so quickly in our own. Yeah. In this episode. That's so fast. Isn't that interesting? Let's get a timer on that. How fast was that? We have actual footage of um um. Guess what? Mind no plugging the podcast. I'm not on. Oh, that's not the funhouse.

Are you on the funhouse podcast? The fun house podcast that we do together. That was live every day at every day. Every day. Every week at a, it's an experiment. Friendship. Yeah. Tuesday. Tuesday. Well, we like to operate in what we call quick bite content.

And so, little nipples. Little nips. Little nips. Ten minutes is low. Little slices, like a quibi, if you will. Yeah. I never heard that. It's kind of like a sea show. It's like quibi but nipple base we call it nippy. I like it. That's what happened during the snow storm. Just a little nippy. We lost power for a week and the state's like, oh that's just because it's snow. That's like unprecedented weather.

And then today I just got an email rise we're going live right now from the lecture. And the states like, oh, that's just because it's snowed. That's like unprecedented weather. And then today, I just got an email rise. We're going live right now from the lecture company here that's like, Hey, if you all could conserve energy, that would be great because we're running out of it. So raise your thermostats. Don't use as much energy until the luck is going on Friday. What the fuck is going on? But this is unprecedented, Barbara. We're not even in the heat of summer yet. Like it's hot. It gets way hotter here. Is it because more people are working from home and staying home?

Like, why is it this year that all of a sudden? It just doesn't work. I don't know. But it's fucking bullshit, right? Like the legislature was in session. Could it have done something to, I don't know, fix the problems that apparently exist? But instead, the sexist has other things to worry about.

No, absolutely. Now you can carry a gun without a permit. Anywhere you want to go. What? Well, actually not yet. It goes into effect in August. Okay. Hold this for me.

Oh, shit. Don't get a camera angle. I guess what we're saying is we might have a bling Gibson moment here. We might have a burnout. So if this theme goes off, you know, we've made me block. No, I think we'll be. And that's a fun one for the audio listeners. Yes.

We should all just freeze in place at the same time. Anyway, no, we'll be. Well, we really funny if you couldn't get it back. Yeah, I feel like Texas. We're doing our part. Texas needs to implement something where like the governor of Texas just needs to come in, snap a fucking pool queue and half and just go, one of you needs power. Make it cool.

That's essentially what's happened. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Yeah, that was, I think, one of the most devastating and terrible experiences. I read that someone made this post that said that it was one of cost-wise. It was one of the top five natural disasters of all time. Wow.

That's nice. Yeah. Because it shut down so much. Like, for example, Samsung does a lot of manufacturing here And they had to shut down their manufacturing plants like it's something they can't just turn back on Like I think it only recently came back online. Yeah, just like a Samsung phone I am if anything slightly inconveniences me in the work day I'm like, oh this is gonna take two and a half hours to get back on

Guess I'm not getting much done today. Yeah, you would think that they would, after that happened, spend time remedying that problem and making sure it cannot happen again. Apparently, I don't know if you guys heard this because you're, you know, in Los Angeles and not Texas. Let me do this for you. Have you seen this? Have you heard of this? I've seen this. Have you heard of this? Crazy. But they said that apparently they didn't like catch the issue when they did.

If they were like a few minutes or even seconds behind, all of Texas could have been without power for months. That's too much time. Wow. To not have power. I'm not going to say it. I'll say it. Yeah.

Maybe I'm a California like. I think people should have power. Well, I can Charlotte with her humid takes It's a huge number four on the list number four. Wow number one is Chernobyl for reference natural disaster There were some Disasters. This is disaster. Is it okay Chernobyl and unnatural disaster when you 11 earthquake in Japan That was also bad a 1995 earthquake in Japan and then the winter storm

Current current cost over $195 billion God, I am a lot of that you think that So obviously like the power is that be don't care about like lives and like Poor people's livelihood, but you think when it translates into cash that there might be some action because that's what matters Really in life is money that other people have well no one talks about how long Chernobyl went without Wi-Fi after that Holds it It was a nightmare to be there. Oh my god. I only had like one bar. Yeah. Well, I was also streaming so many shows because I had two heads. Yeah, I was right in the middle of it.

I was right in the middle of the second episode of Chernobyl. And it really pissed me off. Yeah, which is not great, not terrible. No, not terrible. It felt a little close to home at that moment. It was just watching it all go around. Great show. It was great.

Yeah, I was so nervous. Chernobyl's real good. I like didn't like, but couldn't look away from the part where it was, they're in the hospital and someone's like, they have no skin. They have no skin, they have no face. I don't have face.

Let me see. Oh God, you're right. I'll be the judge of that. I like Charlotte's review where she was like, it was pretty good. I agree. I agree. I good. I agree And then another arm comes in and like

Welcome to Charlotte's Charlotte talk film No one wants that. I would watch that. I can't use competition With yourself. No, yeah, I'm my own worst enemy. Oh, yeah, I'm like a worst enemy I think I would hate it if I had a twin. Yeah. Do you know people with identical twins? Yeah. A couple. Yeah. Yeah. What do we think?

What do you want? I'm on one dish. What do you want? It's an open-handed question. I can tell you all about that Hernandez twins, but I need to know specific. What do you want? I hate how every twin, like when you're talking about being a twin,

they'll always say like, oh, twins have a special connection. You'll never understand like every fucking twin tells me this. Yeah. I don't have to hear it again. You're not telling me something I've never heard before. You have a twin? No, you wouldn't understand. Yeah.

So I wouldn't either. I would either. But yeah. I saw this video about these, uh, these twins somewhere in the states, uh, that married another set of twins. And they become so obsessive with trying to actually be identical in every way shape or form. So they eat the exact same food for every single meal. They exercise at the exact same time, the exact same routine. They have sex with their partners to try to Do they get mixed up? Hi, oops! Oh my god, did I?

Fuck Jerry? Oh my god, I got fucked up. And that's Michael Jerry's murder. Yeah, no one talks about fuck Jerry's twin, fuck John. A fuck John. I went to high school with some twins. They were both female. And they would dress identical.

Like they would really play into the fact that they were identical twins. Yeah. Except when they did their hair, one of them would like, put their bangs up in one direction and the other one would put it up in the other direction. Oh. It's like that was the way you could tell who it was. Because they used each other as a mirror.

You know what that is? Because they used each other as a mirror. You know what that is? And it feels like at that point, you're just committing to being the twins from the shining. Like this is what we get. Can you play with them? Oh yeah, I had this kid going to make a sequel. Danny.

I had this kid in high school that like it was really fucked up because you'd go to the bathroom and then he would smash through the door with an axe and peer in and say here's Johnny. I was wondering where you're going with that. That's where I went with it and that's where I stay with it. But that guy is twin. Here's Jerry. Great guy. Here's Jerry. Great guy.

He's a sleep doctor. Oh man. One after another. Hey, this one's for the Stephen King fans. That's for the King Fischer's. Was that joke from you or the other Charlotte? Oh, no. No, no,'t want to shut the fuck up. I'm gonna send this back to my heart.

It's an old vodville bitch. Where is she? And it's just insufferable. I know. No, I really like the end bit where she's like, it's okay, sorry. So we hit the big hook, get her off stage. Get the big hook and the fishing hook.

Yeah, you know, I've actually been meaning, I've seen some upsets of the RT podcast. I think it's weird that you don't have one of those big organs that has pullies and like Throw fucking Eric get us a podcast when you're not oh that landed straight up That would have been great. It also would have been Full can of self-sale I'm gonna try it with my there was oh Here we go. Here we go. Fuck it up. Fuck it up. Barbell. Oh No, no, you fucked it up. Let's for sure. Yeah, fuck it up.

Okay, it's fine. Really? There was success there for as soon as I threw the bottle every single like I saw Everything go wrong. Like I saw hitting the monitor It's okay. Oh, yeah, cuz you did a great thing. Were you tight in the cap before I just fuck You took it and just had faith in how you close that bottle. I had a lot of faith. Just like I have a lot of faith in I learned in Sanford Jesus Christ, which is why I'm here. What I'm here for.

Oh, I'm so good. Produce your air expressly for baby. You see that as a joke, but you've asked two hold hands and pray at every meal, at every single function I've been at with you today. Yeah, I'm very sorry. I don't like six jokes. God damn, I'm sorry I don't have a fucking shoulder twin that you wanted to do.

I felt way me and her coming out. I can't see you like, can you start it and you kind of hesitate and you're like, you go through it. Because I know if someone says it to me, it's upsetting. I can mentally throw the bottle. I can't see's upsetting. I started to mentally throw the bottle. I do the bottle and I realized the cap, she loose. Okay. Bought a God.

No, I can go. Uh oh. I hate Heather, just off camera. What if that would have been the perfect time for the power to just go out? Yeah. Well, I'm not only a six jokes. I was like, what is this thing? This thing in the wide.

This thing. This thing. This is the engine. keeps our tea running. Oh, that's hot. It's from Shrink. Yes, that's where it's going. That's graphene. That's why our jokes keep bombing.

This one, we've used this set for some things in the past. So it's like some some reuse things like death battle cast. Death battle cast right? Yeah. I definitely watched that show and definitely definitely that that was from it. I was telling Brian before we started that. I don't think I've been here in this area for since like February of last year. Yeah. Since before the Texas Chernobyl. Yeah. But before a year before that. Sassacre. The Chernobyl massacre. It's strange to be like slowly

coming back into work, like seeing people again, coming back into buildings that I haven't seen in a long time. Well, I feel bad because you guys are obviously not from Austin, so you're not here every week for the podcast. So it's the shame that we don't have the actual podcast set for you to be at until we experience that. It wasn't going to say anything. It was a real shame that the reason that we're not allowed in the other studio, by the way, is because they had to set up an extra big hotel room for me. Yeah, because of how massive it's so cute.

It's so small. I don't know if we could show it on the stream, Brian. I don't know if you have the capabilities, but the perspective of the wide camera, you can just move seats if you want to show it. I think we've it took screen caps just so it's easier. But like there's one where I sat in this seat and then vice versa.

And you could tell how like the camera angle or the camera lens kind of just storks. Yeah, because this is how we look. I think Brian's looking for it. Yeah, this is how we look right now. Because I'm a very tall. I'm a tall boy. I'm six foot five.

Six five. Six five. Nine five nine. You got it? How many hands tall are you though? Like a pony? No, there it is. There it is. Yeah many hands tall are you though? Like a pony. There it is. There it is.

We just freeze. Oh my God. Look at that. You look like a kid Barbara that found on the street. I look like one of the old people from Willy Wonka and Chocolate Factory. Yeah. We're sharing that giant bed that has a recent length. It's a version where Madela is one of the grandparents and the other three just

stand next to it and he's like, fuck you. Dang it is bad. Can you show that the image one more time? Just because I just noticed this that all of us look like we're about to sneeze. Well, you especially your heads up. That way we were adjusted. that's why we got Mondo in the middle to try to force it try to lower the ring. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, put me in there. Yeah, put me in. Yeah, put me in. Yeah, it has nothing to do with the fact that you and I always book in the the seats. No, nothing at all. No, not at all. That's because Mondo only has like six hot bits. has like six hot bits. You changed it to hot bits. So it's a little nicer.

Yeah, I have six hot bits. And then the rest of them are just a bunch of hot bits. Hot bits. Hot. Yeah, I got you. Hot hot bits. Who's your favorite hobbit? My favorite hobbit is probably just like, you know,

the wine from the middle. From the middle of the shower. The wine from the middle From the Middle of the shire you know you like Exactly the middle yeah the middle guy Oh Bobby billbo's Bobby that's Bobby Billbo's neighbor Flaggings yeah Bobby Flaggins

That's Bobby Flaggins Oh, I'm like you can't it you're going to take that one ring, Archa. You have to be taken over. Bobby Flaggins. Oh Bobby Flaggins. Oh, I do imagine him being like a really shitty day who's just angry all the time. He's like, you know what Bill Bo?

Go fuck yourself. This fucking Bill Bo mother fucker bringing tall ass people. Every goddamn day, you think I don't feel like a tiny man already? God damn it here's from Brooklyn yeah right this one and the door is just insulting I have a svelte figure I want a rectangle door I want a door door I want a real door not this dumbledore mother I'm talking talking about you. I want a normal door. Why

everyone trying to give me more door? He's getting more Jewish. Oh, that was kind of even really. Oh, my God. But yeah, boy, was that like the fifth joke in your arsenal? God, Jesus. I don't know yet. I'm just getting bullied over here. It's not the bully. Yeah, you know what's crazy? And all of our fans will probably be able to relate to this is that I only

started getting bullied once I revealed my Christian faith. Isn't that funny? It feels like we're persecuted. Maybe we shouldn't say anything. No, keep going. Just yeah, don't stop. Just like keep going. Yeah, keep going. Just, yeah, don't stop. Just keep going. Yeah, keep going.

Yeah, really. I would say that it's your sixth and final joke. Oh, really? The grid. Or a cot. Abbott. Oh, what could you do with that? I know things.

The governor. I thought you were already a native awesome. I had a lot of Texans on Twitter. Is that what I'm saying? Complain. Yeah, it's a, it's in a texas on Twitter. Is that our big complaint? Yeah, it's a, it's in a dream state to live in. A couple of people in LA and obviously a lot of people in Texas. So I always know when there's something going on in Texas or if there's an earthquake.

Yeah. Because every earthquake Twitter is, have you seen earthquake Twitter? No, what do you, all the comedians that live in LA, not all of them, but many of them have earthquake tweets that they'll fire off in the objective of an earthquake. It's almost like they draft them. It's almost like they're because like shake, Twitter, a lot of the times it'll just be someone writes earthquake, no punctuation or anything. I like those because it's kind of just like earthquake. I gotta get this. Yeah, it's 2 a.m I got five this one up. I think XK CD once did a comic like trying to compare the distance an earthquake would have to go before Tweets pass it

40 like if you're more than 40 miles from an earthquake you'll see the tweets before you feel the earthquake interesting I've pulled 40 miles on the top of my head, but there's like they get the math come over the number to be like, if you're this far from an earthquake, you'll see a tweet about it before you feel it. Well, it's a multi-step process in LA because you see it and the joke doesn't really work. Then you feel the earthquake and you're like, I guess that's funny. I see. I I look at visual of you just fucking like looking at your phone just being like, I don't even fucking get the- What's the big here? Oh! Oh!

Is something? That's good. Like, andry towards- You ever have a joke shaking into clarity? Like, like it becomes funny through a Deus Ex Machina. Every time. Every joke I experience. Well, I also rely on the will of God to make my humor work.

Hell yeah, dude. Hell yeah. Excuse me? I'm sorry, heaven yeah. You haven't had it. No. You haven't had the Lord of the Eight. You never did.

You noticed that? That you say hell yeah, but you say heavens no. Heavens no. Hmm. Hergotal Ray maybe. Maybe. This episode of the Receive Podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. If you ever tried to make a website on your own or you tried using a website, building

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I seen my veins. I seen my veins. I just learned what that meant. It's funny, you're asking them what that meant to try to learn. And you're like, oh my god, I can't believe I haven't asked. I have no idea what the fuck you even talking about. No, no, no, no, no. You have no idea. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no have no idea? No, like no-y, ask, like no-yng about it,

knowing about it and asking because you don't understand it and then just being like, I have no fucking idea what you're talking about. See the different stages of ages going on in this podcast. We got thus and me, almost 32. Supreme old man. And then y'alls. Yeah.

I put for Natsalumpa-Sin together. Karmando is a year younger than me. She's super old. Maybe two and it feels like he is a year younger than me. Okay, maybe two. And it feels like he's a decade younger than me. Yeah, because I'm right at the end of the Millennial trend, if you will. Mm-hmm. And I almost agents, are you a GenC?

You're a GenC. Technically, like, right on the cover. So you're still a Millennial, but almost GenC. But solidly towards the end, but definitely still a Millennial. Yeah. And so, Vando feels like a completely different age from me, even though we're very close. It was very funny.

Yeah. But also, you didn't go to college, so you feel like older than me, because you have more experience in the world. Why so? Yeah, but it's not like good experience. Like, I didn't go to college, so I just like slept in a car and then did stand up comedy every day. This is a terrible way to live.

You're, you know what, you're weary. Yeah. It's like the lifestyle. Your pedal tested the lifestyle I live gave me a body of a 35 year old. Me and ask. And I went to the bathroom at the same time earlier. Over here before we started the podcast and like I was at the year in Olamanda goes into the stall. We both start peeing at the same time. He said it like wistfully pissedfully if you pissedfully pissedfully. Seven jokes.

To pee is a young man again. He was like, I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it.

I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. if you Seven jokes To pay it to pee is a young man again I'm so nostalgic I remember when I would do that

You're looking at your future right here As a film I'm out of it Someone, Mundo and I, you know, and same with Charlotte Like we've done, we've made videos and we've been in content together for a long time now But you know, I met both of you for the first time in person today. Yeah, and I was talking to Mondo and Mondo was like, are you Spanish? Someone told you to be you were Spanish. Yeah, like who told you that? Like no, my parents are from Mexico. Blaine told me you were Spanish

I said I said that fools Mexican right and blank goes no he's Spanish and I stopped calling you a fool immediately. I was like oh That man is a spaniard. Okay. Spaniard. I wonder Blaine actually thinks that. Well, he was there when we discovered this He started doing that thing. He just starts like sliding down his chair. Yeah, to quote Blaine He said no, I didn't and then yeah, I think somebody's calling me. I gotta go and fucking dick. Well, similarly, yeah, you said you pointed at me when you met me and you said that fool's Irish. Yeah, and blame said no, she's German.

And then what are you, what is your ad? What background? No, she's that. Yeah, what are you, dog? I'm white. Hell yeah. Yeah. Oh, I don't want to say.

Yeah. I was kidding. Yeah. You thought Trevor was. I don't want to say You thought Trevor was I thought I also pointed at Trevor and I said you brown After Trevor would did like Like looking around like was he talking to Yeah, you've never I said he was cutting a pancake. And like, stop. Oh!

I put mayonnaise on a pancake from some recent food. I actually have white syrup. Excuse me. Oh, he brought it from home. I do. This is from Vermont. Vermont.

Where are we vacation? This is from Vermont, where we summer. Have you ever taken a vacation of Vermont not once? It exists I don't think it's great skiing. I've never met anyone from Vermont. I'm not from Vermont. No, I mentioned there's good people there There's people seem to think about that's my Pretty time does everyone Kind of white woman grievance today I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. at my face when I said so. I said I had a I was deeply offended by a bracelet. She was like that's the widest proud I've ever heard. I was like I agree, but it doesn't make it any less important. Well now I need to know what they did to you. I went to a cafe, a coffee shop.

First of all, that silent no music, a bunch of bookish nerds heads down. I want people to rage when they're having a cup of. Anyway, I go in I go in with Kayla Melton, the indoor kid, a Brewster teeth fam. What's her actual name now? I think it's doubled those step on a Tuesday. Oh, it's not like broke goat anymore. It's not truck. There was another one too that was briefly had its moment in the sun and I think had to be Nipped in the butt, but we go in and then I asked the barista I said Is your cult you've ice coffee or do you just have cold brew and she would

We have cold brew. It's the same thing. Oh, oh, oh, it's not And I immediately like tensed it's okay, and I said, I have a latte of an iced hot day. And then I went outside and when I tell you I fixated on this for an hour after this, I was like, it's not the same. They are categorically different. They're made different. One is brood cold. The other is brood hot and made to be cold.

Yeah. I think you you tried to you were like, you're you're not gonna believe this but I fixated on it This is four years ago Her name was Michelle it's the Starbucks on La Praia. I said I didn't want to Die on the hill in front of there and also Kales are regular they know her order. I didn't want to throw a wrench in this finally turned machine, but I'm upset. And I feel I'm a woman's scorn.

Did you tell Kayla she needs to find a new coffee shop? She needs to like go somewhere else. We're working on it. We're working on it. I don't know if that friendship could continue. She could just go. I have not been so clearly condescended since I was a child.

Like, they're the same thing. I don't understand why people act that way ever. Like the con, like, unless you are being rude to that person, and they like throw back at you, maybe I get it. But if someone is just like asking a legitimate question, there's no reason to be like, I mean, um, also you're wrong. They take it different.

They are different. They're different. Cobra also like way more caffeine. Way more caffeine. Yes, yeah. And it makes me like, I'm way closer to shit in my pants. Like, that's why I asked because I'm like, I got to play my day around. That's why I don't put it in me. That's why I don't drink coffee because I'm always on like, on a scale from one to ten.

I'm like a six on a bow to shit. You don't like to live on the edge? No, I'm always living on the edge. Especially if we're about to film something. Yeah, it's like normally, if we're not doing the podcast, like I'll have coffee in the morning that I might have one in the afternoon. I am not having coffee in the afternoon on a Monday. So I know like 5.30 pm, I'll be here like, I'm going to shit my pants.

Yeah, it's just. Is that something that happens as you get older that going to bathroom becomes more urgent? To me, it did. Okay. And I feel I'm not saying this to scare you. I feel like the switch happened at age 33 33 I was like I have been noticing lately like maybe within the last few months two three months Like when I have to go to the bathroom. It's I now now I have to go

I didn't have to go three seconds ago and now oh I need to Feel like me taking a shit is like the people fixing the power grid when the ice storm happened Like there is a small window of time If I miss my opportunity it will ruin me for months You're reputation. Yeah, I am always trying to I got some expensive pants Chernobyl. Yeah, everyone's like the reactor is melting down We have to get out and you're like no, I a 23-second window to start shitting and it starts Three seconds ago

Have to shit. Oh, yeah, I so I my stomach does some reals. I have a Famously weak stomach. I'm lactose intolerant famously famously. I've lactose intolerant I can't do I don't do caffeine at all because caffeine will make you have to shit So I don't do not for everyone. Well for me it does I I avoid caffeine. I don't even drink tea I bring you a drink tomorrow. We'll see what happens. Well, it's fucking do it. I'll shit. I'll shit on anything That's a young man shit. Yeah, that's a yeah, yeah I've never forget what it is about coffee though like I don't know that it's the caffeine necessary coffee Is it yeah, it's like I'll drink a bunch of soda or something else with caffeine. It's like I feel like

I'm fine. I don't know what it is. I don't know. So I'm just wondering like I've never drank decaf. But like if I pounded a decaf would it have the same effect? It's a considered a diapid. No, I think co I think coffee is actually like in a way poisonous for us as a species. Everything is poison. Yeah. poisonous for us as a species. Everything is poison. Yeah. It's not like an evil horse. There's a joke there somewhere.

It looks like, uh, never mind. Anyway, there was a joke there. Talking's bad for us, I think. And we just as a species have forced ourselves to gain the boost from it. So I think it's bad digestively because like, it used to really fuck me up and then I like just drank it enough that it only slightly fucks me up. It killed that part of your body that objected to it. There's some organ that's not functioning anymore the way it was supposed to. Whatever the coffee organ is.

Yeah, it's just I coffee organ. I already like as a kid so I was I was lactose intolerant and no one knew what was going on So cuz I would just like no, it was a different time Oh, yeah, the kind of intolerance where cuz I know there could be like multiple types of lactose intolerance where it either makes you shit Like crazy or doesn't vomit or doesn't let you shit Well, you said there's people getting that training for that. I don't really like intolerance Yeah, what are media has been trying been trying to inject me with milk every single time. You don't learn.

Yeah, I used to as a kid, I used to eat a big bowl of cereal every morning with milk in it. Home milk, yeah. And yeah, I would eat the whole bowl. And then I ate the bowl. And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And then I would... And, I would eat the whole bowl These were my tabby list one before And then I would go to school and immediately just have diarrhea like immediately in the morning And I kept telling people like hey, there's something wrong with my stomach and teachers are like you're just trying to get out of The attic class for you. No, I was trying to get out of ass Oh Nine jokes for you? No, I was trying to get out of ass. Hey, oh, fuck it, dude. Wow, nine jokes now.

I'm just gonna count. I'm just gonna count. I think you're free. You're gonna get in the graphic right now here. Yeah, we got to have a counter. I'm uncomfortable. I, uh, but yeah, so I, it got to this point where my mom started taking me to like specialists even because they couldn't figure out what was going on with my anus. And it's not about the anus, it's before the anus. Well, they didn't know where the problem was.

Yeah, they start with the sphincter. You have to start with the sphincter where you were in. Well, they started with the cheeks. And they were like, okay. These are nice. Firm. Nice. Yeah.

Cool. You've ever slapped a man. Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what Moné has for breakfast now that he can have a big one? What a gigambe, a big bull cereal. He has a big omelet. Yeah, because Mondo only has six yolks That's a pretty big omelet You also use antlers and all of your decorating oh

That's a deep cut I didn't get it either I'm thinking of Gaston because he's cut. I didn't get it either. I'm thinking of Gaston because he's uh oh no one lands jokes like Gaston. Um so I didn't know it was wrong with me. It was really bad. They were taking me to all these doctors and then uh yeah but doctors specifically. But I one point I didn't see me porky pick So I they they had to do this thing where I had to shit in a bag So my mom could collect it and send it to a doctor it like put it in a vial Oh, and they did that they like I had to shit in a bag while my mom held it as a child It was uncomfortable for everyone and then my mom was taking me to my dad wonder why don't I have kids My mom took me to my dad's house because they with they split custody and my mom was like explaining it to my dad

My dad goes, oh, that sounds a lot like me as a kid, you know, cuz I'm lactose intolerant my mom was like are you fucking He shitted a bag! Like just viscerally upset. Didn't talk to my dad for like a year. I do that. And that's how he met that I was lactose intolerant. And so I have been, I hate it.

I can't, I have to be careful about it. There's cows you can take. There is, they don't always work. That's the bad part about it. There's also I've been, exerting with like drinking lactose-free milk. I had that. I had that. Yeah, it's pretty good.

It tastes exactly like milk. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I drink that because I think I might be mildly lactose intolerant. You develop it over time. Yeah, I don't. And you guess are you lactose intolerant? No, I just wanted to, I just thought, I just thought commercial for it.

And I was like, they say it tastes the same. Like I just want to try it. It does. It's the same. It's the same. We it. It does. It's right in the set. We're milk drinkers. Yeah. We'll have the cheese. Oh, yeah, all about it.

Cottage to break. We can, we'll beat them in a fight because we have biochemical warfare. It's kind of what we, we drink milk in there. We've got enzymes. We have bio-induced, we just give you a wedge of like Swiss dinner. Yeah, give it and then smell what comes out of my anus.

Charlotte. No, no, no. smell what comes out of my anus. Charlotte. No, no. Okay. Okay. Do you want me to call my mom and you can. She still has the bag. I think there's a game show in here somewhere. There's a game show in here, unfortunately.

We'll figure it out. Everybody here is lactose intolerant. We will be making them drink a full glass of milk and the first, the last one to not shit wins. I do think it's funny. Like you taking the pill and it's like Russian roulette. Yeah, it is. Let's play, let's roll the dice.

Cause it's always, it's always bad too, cause like you don't, you take the lactade pill when you're like about to eat a bunch of cheese or something, right? So there's, when you take it, you're like, God, I hope this is one that fucking works. Because other, you know. Yeah.

Do you have to just take more pills if you're eating more lactose? Or is it just one regardless? I don't know how they work. I'm dead. So I take more of whatever I take just because I'm big as shit and things aren't normally made for me.

It's like when I take like, I be profan or something, I take more than the recommended dose because I'm a massive giant as you saw on screen. So with the lactate pills at this point, I just take four of them, rip them open and just fucking down them. And I don't think, and then I,

I don't think I'm out of it. There's no downside, right? I don't think so. I don't think there's like any bad side of it. Maybe they're canceling each other out. What could be this? I'm still going to leave. Cancel cultures. Oh, damn. That is good. Maybe they're canceling each other out Cancel cultures

That is good We can never have Charlotte on podcast ever again. I was scared to have both of these Like this is not gonna go I'm gonna look like shit over here No, like I'm gonna look like I'm in a bag because you guys are like actually funny shut up and then Gus and I are sitting here going. We're talking about Jesus Christ and cancel culture They have a talk to you today. If a priest got up for the homily, I was like Let's talk about cancel culture. I Would be coming every Sunday. Yeah, I would be back in. I'm like come to God. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back Yeah, that's that would be so funny before we get super far away from it

I did love your osmosis Jones style tell the like idea of how lactate Yeah, like he takes what you take four of them each one's like you got it right? Thank God It's a bystander effect. Yeah. Oh my god horrible horrible Someone else would take care of it. Yeah, this episode of the RST podcast is brought to you by Brooklyn in is horrible horrible This episode of the Restead podcast is brought to you by Brooklinon is every day starting to feel a little ordinary Maybe even boring well with a little bit of magic from Brooklinon every day can be extraordinary Especially when it comes to comfort Brooklinon creates beautiful high-quality home essentials that do not cost an arm and a leg And are seriously the most comfortable sheets, towels, loungewear, and robes ever of all time. I'm serious, I have some Brooklyn sheets and they're absolutely awesome, I really, really love sleeping on them, they're fantastic sheets. If you ever need a seasonal

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I used to do, so I still do, but I do stand up and when I started, you know, I would only do stand up for like five minutes at a time. And there are times where right before I would have to go on stage or get some nervous, I'm like, I'm going to shit my pants. Like I'm for sure going to shit my pants. And then there was a part of me that never wanted to get better at stand up because I imagined being on stage for an hour and just having to shit and cause there's no way that you can just be like, hey guys, I'm gonna be right back. Yeah. I imagine if you're booked for a show,

you have to fill the time. You do. Yeah. So what? What do comedians or I have done do I thought I thought about Fun a fun air baby we're fucking taking this whole shit down We're declassing this joint where switching the paragrid to gas I'm starting to think that they do have the normal set and they were like we can't let Yeah, it's so much history there Yeah, it's sacrosanx We can't allow these roughy insom to the set No

Heavens yes Wait Oh hell no That sounds pretty good You can say hell yes and hell no Hell no Hell no Heavens yes

It's Heavens yes sounds so unnecessarily sexual though Who was it? Wasn't there like a cartoon character An old cartoon character you still always said Heavens to Mercatroid Yeah, it's yes, it sounds so unnecessarily sexual though Wasn't there like a cartoon character in the old cartoon character you started heavens to Merk Detroit That was a Right, and what does that mean? Oh, it's a very good. It's like a thing you hear as a little kid You like oh, that's like some nonsense thing. What the fuck does that actually mean if I hear kids say that I'm running you guys are Heavens to Betsy. I've heard this is Jacob says that sn Snaggle puts it. Jacob says heaven's to Betsy regularly. This is a reverse cheese for me.

Oh, it's too young to get it. It was a commercial for heaven's to my throat. Like you have to call your younger cousin to explain cheese and I have to call like my grandma and like what's heaven's to my true. What is heaven's like stop calling this number. I never have to. I never have to. I've died 15 years ago. Yeah.

Yeah. And she's in heaven. This is to my good. She's great because like my mom will want to you know we'll show him a talk on the phone and then when it reaches kind of like a natural law. It'll be like so. And then it comes back up. I called my grandmother and I don't talk to her often but I was like like, hey Nana, and we talked for like five minutes, and she's

like, all right, well, so good talking to you, Charlotte. She's like, I mean, I was like a lovely conversation, but she's like 87. She's like, I don't want to spend 20 minutes on the phone. I love it. I'm not not gonna spend fucking 30 minutes talking on this smoking meds, too I take pills a twig. This guaranteed gets high. I Didn't know that when I started the bit, but now I gotta change my attributes My grandma sometimes if she just got tired of talking she just like put the phone down and walk away I still there you go. Oh, okay, are you still there? Are you gone? Oh, okay, no one's there.

Oh, man, I have this foolproof thing with my grandma where one of them only speaks Spanish and I'm just like, damn, I'm gonna, damn, done. That's it. I know a little bit of Spanish, but I'll never let it know. Don't tell my grandma. And today, and quick, I break today in the RT. Don't tell my grandma. Don't do my thing. And today, and quick, I break today in the RT podcast, sponsored by Mando's grandma.

No! No! She cuts hair. She might. I say sponsored in Spanish. As sponsor. That's not true. That's not true.

No, but I'm the only one who could have said it. Yeah, I have no fucking idea. Aren't you fluent? Pretty. I mean, I used to be. I've had a fucking spoken Spanish. I moved to Austin. I don't ever practice it. Well, you're family, right? Sometimes. Yeah, I'll speak English. I mean, I don't even really speak Spanish to them. Like the only reason I spoke Spanish is because I lived on the border. True. Yeah. It's like, you know, like it's so crazy there. Like if you went to the store and you tried to speak to someone

in English, like they would just walk away from you. Oh, really? Yeah, they would be like, all right, I'm not doing this. When we, Spanish spoken in Texas is K-so, right? Yeah. It's essential. Which by the way, the first week I lived in Texas, I didn't know what K-so was. I never heard the term before. K-so is Spanish for K-so. I gotta go take a shit right now.

Exactly. I was guy. But I was with him. 10 jokes, maybe. That's where at 10 now, I'm very impressed. I feel so bad about that because my desk does sincerely one of the funniest people I've met And I just don't know I tear them down like that. I think it's because I mean secure. I did a sign of respect Oh, it's a sign of respect. Yeah, I do like it. I can shoot on someone it means like

You I respect you. Yeah, yeah, I find you I would never shit on somebody on camera If I if I wasn't like a huge if I didn't have like a huge amount of respect for them, you know what I mean? Yeah, so go ahead. Charlotte, you're great. I thought you were going to say let me get you some milk and then your shit on her. Oh, that's really good.

Barbara, you're great. Please don't line up. I'll line up my face. This has been fun. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a line of my face. This has been fun. Yeah You seem you're what you're seeing yourself out making yourself sick I saw a story the other day about how all these doctors are saying that the only people who are at this point The only people who are ending up in the hospital with COVID are unvaccinated people.

Oh my God. And it started making me get irrational. He angry. He was like, my go to move. I see something. I just get angry. Because I started thinking about the position we were in a year ago that we've been in over the past year and about how at least in the United States, we're just now starting

to get out of it because enough people decided to get the vaccine. Yeah. And that there are so many people unwilling to do it. It's like, if everyone was that selfish and not willing to get the right, we would still be in that situation. We'd all still be at home. You all wouldn't be here. I still be in my office at home.

It's like, grow the fuck up and don't be so selfish. Yeah. Like, I understand as people say, you know, it's their freedom to choose not to do it. And that's true But it's like with freedom comes responsibility. Yeah, and one of those responsibilities is acting like a fucking member of society It says if we're all tethered together walking alongside a cliff And one person says, hmm, I don't want to I don't want to be here anymore. I'm gonna jump and it's like well if you jump you're gonna pull a stand with you Hey, well, it's my it's my choice. It's my freedom to jump my my freedom jump

Well, but I'm sorry the house Jefferson not shy that I couldn't jump He actually did I think he did yeah, I watch I haven't watched Hamilton in a while I felt really bad because I got vaccinated before California opened it up for everyone. And in California, they did it in stages where they allowed like, they were like, if you meet this criteria, you're in this stage. Like every state did that to a different degree. It was just different among like the criteria change state of between like smokers and pregnant women and age groups and stuff.

I forget what the name of my section was, but in California when I was going to get vaccinated, they opened it up to whatever section and the criteria was like, if you have cancer, if you have lungs that are deteriorated to the point where catching COVID will kill you, if you have an autoimmune disease where it is life threatening to not get the vaccine, or if you're really, really fat, you can come get the vaccine. It was like a BMI over 30. It was a BMI over like 38.

I think they did the same, it was like the same way here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, oh, shit, yeah! I did the truffle shuffle and just get all the way to the get the vaccine. I'm finally paying off. Yeah, I did. I did the truffle shuffle and just get all the way to the get the vaccine. I'm only paying off. Yeah, I hear. Yeah.

Yeah. Now we got to rate this podcast PG 13. I was, when I got it, I felt guilty. Yeah. I did too. For a long time, I was like, man, I can't believe like there's so many people who need it. Like I can't believe I managed to get it.

And I was like, oh, it's like I felt like, like shame about it for a while. I read an article that helped me get over that. What? Sorry, just try, I don't even feel bad, but just try and think around a bunch of, I'd say this not in a bean way, but a bunch of kids with cancer.

You just, you stayed around and I was like, oh, fat, right? Ooh. You were turning me like believe me. That's right. What are you doing after this? You want to go get McDonald's. I showed up to get the to get the vaccine

and they they asked me like what's your how do you qualify and I told them like I have a BMI over 38 and they're like do you have a doctor's note? No, it's like no, but I mean Do you have an empty bag of McDonald's like can I step on the scale? You have ice. Yeah, well that's mean, but I The nurse You're very nice, Barbara The backhand you six foot five The nurse looked me up and down sitting in my car and just went, I believe you and just waved me through

I hurt my heart I believe you I did and that I felt really bad and I told them when I got to the front that I felt like terrible for it And the guy went dude don't feel bad. We have to throw away so many of these fucking vaccines every time I got an extra one I got it and refresh the page just in time and then I read an article that was like a shot in any arm is good for everyone Yeah, okay, yeah, just a transmission. Yeah, yeah, and I'm gonna feel bad. That's what I had to start thinking about it It's like everyone needs to get it eventually like you need

It all helps with collective science. So stoked to get it when I did, because I know Texas had things earlier, but California was really tough to get one from it. I got my second shot in mid-April, which was tight as hell, because it's such a way to off my chest. I got the appointment and I immediately text Patrick Brown.

Yes. My partner on crime. Oh, I thought you were talking, I got the appointment and I immediately text Patrick Brown. Yes. My partner on crime. Oh, I thought you were talking to, I thought you were referring to me. Yes. This guy's got jokes. More? More or more.

And anyone who would ever say that I would say that he did a last few, oh, he did that. Hey. There's a counter on the screen of all of us jokes. But yeah, I immediately told him, and then we were both, you know, we got our shots, and then we host a Twitch show, and we were like, can we talk about this?

Is this like cool? And so we didn't bring it up. And then like, slowly, I was like, yeah, I'm vaccinated. It'll be big. And then once everyone got us, like, oh, okay. It feels like it happened overnight where it was like so stressful to find an available appointment. And then like, oh, I'm paranoid about when I'm going to get this.

How am I going to get it? It's going to be like the summertime by the time like our group is able to get it. And then it honestly felt like overnight that it was like, yeah, just call Walgreens or like, right. just call Walgreens or like right back into a CVS or something. I just, I've used up so much luck from him. Yeah. Big up to the big one.

Big up to the big one. By the way, we're pointing upwards to the second story where it is the guy that actually threw him all things are possible because he's running the power. He's, he's, he's, he's, for the state. There's one for Texas. Yeah. Uh, oh, yeah, I got in spring. I got an early vaccine and a PS5. Oh, and then I know that in like 35 years, I'm going to need a kidney. Yeah. And I'm going to end up way on the bottom of the list. But you got a PS5. Yeah. You play Ratchet. Yeah. You'll have entertainment. Yeah. I've been playing PS4 games. I finally bought PS5 game. Oh, yeah. Like this Ratchet Clint game that just came

out of Rift Apart. Like I've seen it out. Yeah. Yeah. Just fast-fired that you buy the game. You have the system. Yes. I did buy a journal just so I could have a PSI exclusive. I've never played a ratcheting client game. I bought this. I was like, I'm gonna buy a tune that I know it's I'll buy it now. I was mad because I get mad. That's my thing. It's a $70 game. It's a $70 game. I was like, wait, aren't giving you games $60? I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I must be looking at like the deluxe edition with the soundtrack is something like no It's a it's a 69 99. Guest you're of me hearing a Tesla Listen, I'm an old man. I remember when video games were $50

Listen, I'm an old man. I remember when video games were $0.50 you put it into the machine and then you played it What do you do right now? What is this voice? I don't know. It's um oh Shit this is someone is another one of the hobbits keep going. It's the other hobby What what should I say what other things? I'm gonna try heaven's to murder tried video games these days are so expensive I don't I don't know and it's turning into something else. I know I can't keep a character to save my life And it's turning into something else. I know I can't keep a character to take me along. Oh, dumb or dull.

Go back. I don't know why I did this. But when I woke up this morning, the first thing I said when I woke up this morning was, this is my Alan Rickman voice. I don't know. I had like a dream where I was trying to do. That's what it was. I had a dream that I was doing something for RT and I was

trying to fucking like do impressions and I was trying to do an Alan Rickman voice and I was in the dream. I'll miss. And I woke up and tried and this is Alan. That's not bad. It's not. That's actually really good. But you don't understand. That's a good stuff. Well, okay, fucking, I really respect people. I tell them they have a bad Alan McMan. She's not. She's not. She's not. You have a terrible Alan McMan.

Oh, thank you. Thank you. Why are you doing great? You haven't even heard it. You haven't even heard it. You haven't even heard it. I'm doing my character from Love Actual. I love action.

You've caught a little vassal. And I respect myself. So I'm action. You've caught talking all of action. And I respect myself. So I'm going to say that I have a terrible island recommend. Oh, no, I'm terrible at it. Ronald Ristler. Hmm. Where is he?

Ristler. I do. I do like that. So does the crotchety angry stuff come with age? Or are you always like, oh, I used to be, I think when I was younger, I used to be like a rage of hauling. Like I would get irrationally angry for no reason now

It's all like it's it's simmers. I've been able to out a lot But I still like you get like peaks. Yeah, yeah, like a little spike Yeah, then right back into the baseline. Yeah, then it's like all right, whatever it sucks Like I'm like I can't do anything to change it. I get angry like a physical, you know like I get angry like once a year I'm just like you go into the Thing you go into the wets. Yeah, and you just like Yeah, I get it out through yeah, I feel like I'm right now more What I don't know what the word for it is but the limit if people would like show me something of like someone getting hurt Or like I used to be able to laugh at that kind of thing. But now like someone be like, I'll check this out. I'll be like,

Oh, oh, no. Hey, Bart, what did they do after that? Check this out. Fucking, that's actually like a really hard. What? If I've checked this out. Check this out. Again again again. When Bob really respects people, she feels sympathy for their pain. Right. I'm gonna do the rest of the podcast for Dan Pee. Is that Alan Rickman?

I'm gonna talk about pop-pop. You will stop hot. Oh, that was almost like a meatwad. That's to me. Me. Wad Rickman. I'm gonna start to cuddle Oh my god. I don't know. I feel like I've always been a pretty pretty chill like I don't really get angry very much I've been a chill guy, but I really want to be I really do want to become like a crotchety old man You can't I definitely I'm don't worry about it

It's gonna happen eventually become like a crotchety old man. Nothing you are. You can't, I definitely don't worry about it. You're looking at your future. You can't, you can't help it. It's gonna happen eventually. You have like everything I want, by the way. Like, I've got this, you want this tea? No, well that's not what. You want a Russian clank? There's a bunch of fridge over there. I meant more just like your.

I'm the M.I. You're 38. Three. All right. She's a, where's my soundboard? Don't even hang in Hands There's now you have even more things that I want which is distance away from Barbara

things that I want which is distance away from Barbara. But yeah, no, just like the, the ability, I don't know. I feel like you just kind of like roll in whenever you want. And you just have this like chilled out angry vibe. I love it. You got to, you got to be careful that it's like it doesn't overwhelm you. Like I felt like I was too angry early on. And it's like it became too dominant of a part of like my

online personality. It's like, I became too dominant of a part of like my online personality. It's like, I don't want to be that person anymore. So you have to like, make sure you step away from it and go let it define, don't let it define you or be, don't have like, in my mind, I don't want a negative attribute to be the thing people think about when they think of me or what that is, which is like,

defines my personality. It's really difficult when you're like a online personality. Yeah. Because people, I think grasp on to something like either a recurring joke you make or like some type of underlying personality training. Yeah. And then like that's all you're known for after that. It's funny. You don't think about it in the moment. I had this bit that I would do to drive people to my Twitch show where I would be like, rest in peace, Richard kind. And I would post pictures of After Richard Kind.

And I did it for like three or four weeks. So much so that I got in Andy Cortez's head at Kind of Funny. And on a podcast about Bugs Life, Richard Kind was brought up and he went, Rest in Peace. And then I stopped doing it because, you know, I get bored easily. I move on to the next dumb thing that wasn't even making sense in the in the first place People will still tag me in stories and tweets about Richard kind. Oh, yeah, hey Charlotte Here's a picture of Richard kind. Hey, I thought of you. I saw Richard kind turn up in this people will send me like screenshots of like they're watching like Kirby or enthusiasm or some other show that he turns up in and I was like I have not done this joke for three months it feels like but it's it's part of me now I am eternally coupled with Richard kind and I love Richard kind I'm

watching her right now you're kind yeah I'm kindhearted Richard kind of I'm not kindhearted kindhearted That's pretty good I have a either you know you're promoting your thing. I just don't oh I'm sorry I can't talk about what a show on what a show on Twitch on Wednesdays On to the fantastic twist stream. Yes, it took you 56 minutes. It only took you two and a half Yeah, get to the fucking plug. Yeah, today's sponsor by hey everybody I want to talk to you for a man about cold podcast. Yeah, I almost said about to do it, but on our this is a terrible segue to it. On our

on our show on cold podcast we did a bit where I can't remember the origin of it, but it's about French people and I just went on I realized that they're one of the only people that I could just fucking dunk on. Yeah. French people. I went real hard on like fuck the French, and then it became a recurring bit throughout the entirety of the podcast.

Are you French? Is that how you're making the food? Oh no, I just, I don't know if we have very many French people in our audience. Well, the Fianc, I think of a backlash Armada is gonna get. Oh, it's, yeah, it's fine. I just I don't know if we have very many French people in our audience Backlash Armada is gonna get oh, it's yeah, it's fine. I did it as a big and it was also blue It was also it was just like a bunch of stupid shit I was like, oh, bunch of fucking Fred you think that you're fucking special because you smoke cigarettes and eat bread go to Bakersfield That's all they do

bread, go to Bakersfield, that's all they do. It's fucking shitting it. It's not real in some. No, it was fake, but then it spread, and then people started tweeting at us, like, fuck the French. And then it kept growing and building and compounding on itself. And then like, so now people have sent me like stitched, what is it called? Like a cross stitch stuff that's just like like beautiful and it's just like fuck the French Oh, no, and then when like racial tensions were getting really heated on our Facebook group

People would be posting shit like fuck the French and then Facebook was like this is a hate group Fuck out Mr. Zuckerberg you're gonna want to see this It's all going according to plan, the French are suffering. So our Twitter and Facebook stuff was getting flagged for races and a whole bunch of things. And I was like, I hate group because we were, because so many people were like, fuck me. It's some kind of cult.

They're not even reading the title of the name. It's some fucking cult. I've only been to France. I've only spent time in France once. And I was in Paris on like the train there And I was like standing up going to my stop and there was like a guy standing on the train next to me And he had he was making a cigarette for himself on this train And he had like a little belt dispenser for tobacco

And he was like he had his paper and was like dispensing out of this his belt mechanism into his tobacco into his paper And like rolling it up because of cigarette I was like porters Yeah, like a change machine from like an arcade. Right, yeah. I was like, this guy's fucking rolling. This might be the most stereotypical friendship I've ever seen. I think you do well. I'm rolling the cigarette. He looks up at you and he's like, I am on my way to see Miami Stress. You've been doing it.

I'm in a lot of de-stress. I am also lactose intolerant. When I enter a room, I check for igreous and igreous. This episode of the RST podcast is brought to you by Canva. Have you ever tried to design your own logo on the first try? Because, you know, I've talked about my difficulty with graphic design in the past. You know how awful I am at it. Well, luckily you have your own pro in your own back pocket.

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That was the day I was the third time. I was the third time. I was the third time. Do we get a startly counter for how many jokes she has. Oh, it's too many. We've lost it. Yeah. Someone's probably keeping it along.

It's not like yours, but we could actually, you know, the Metro. Thank you, Netchark. I couldn't remember what it was called. Metro. In DC. In Paris. That lead is the Metro art to ride because everyone's poking their eyes out the long cigarettes. Just like, and it just lights somebody's hair on fire. Right? They look smoke those.

Yeah. They still use the long ones? I'm sure you've heard of it. I know a lot about France. Yeah. Are you a Franco-File? I'm a Franco-File. Yeah. I've consumed a loop there. So you don't get the cigarettes on your fingers? Are you thinking of baggots? Okay. Okay.

You're thinking about like the Cruella de the bill. I am. Long. I am. It's like a long filter, right? Is that what that is? I'm just a whole. It's a holder. Yeah. It's so you don't. But it's so long. Really? But why is it? Yeah. Why is it that long then? Because that's so weird. So that way you don't get the smell of cigarettes on your hands. Oh. Yeah. Your hands needed to be clean to skin dogs. You're on your hands. Oh, yeah, your hands needed to be clean to skin dogs. Your entire body, hair and apartment will still smell like cigarettes, but your fingertips won't. Yeah, no, everything will smell like it's six inches from a cigarette. Six inches further than it would have been. Yeah, I've never, like, I'm looking it up now. I've never given thought into these things until right now. What's the deal? I would imagine it

would have a hard time actually holding it. Like, every time I've never given thought into these things until right now. What's the deal? I would imagine it would have a hard time actually holding it like every time I've actually seen one. I'm like, how does cigarette not just like do? For me, what I think is really funny is it just looks like a fancy roach clip. It does. Yeah. I love when people use a roach clip. What's a roach clip? A roach clip is so when you're smoking a joint, I'm not sure. We're not in California. Oh, shit. When you're smoking a joint, we're not in California. When you're smoking hypothetically, one one, you're smoking a niggatine joint. When you're smoking a marijuana cigarette,

a left handed cigarette, we call him here. That's it. That's it. That's sick as hell. That's great. I'm only gonna call him a left handed cigarette. That's dope. I'm left handed and I will only smoke nicotine cigarettes

I don't smoke and I'm just rolling papers empty with my right hand with your smoke at a joint and it gets down to to the nubbin which people call a roach and you're hitting it it's actually it burns your fingertips oh so you have to put it in a hole yeah people will not but not a holder normally it's it's almost like a clip like a, you know, like a, you know, and I'm talking about like a clip. So people will put it in a clip and then hold the clip so that you don't burn your fingertips as you smoke the rope.

Oh, I've seen one of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to have in the movies, you mean? Yeah. In the pictures. Yeah. I used to have the key on my key ring that like when you squeezed it, it was, it was a Roach clip. And it was it was a roach clip

and it was like my favorite thing. And it also got you into your house? No, I was. Okay. At first I was like this is so inconspicuous and then I just realized I have one key that just has a bunch of ash and it's all fucking burned just shit. Yeah, yeah. Just all the way home.

Yeah, that's that work. Oh, I was reading up on cigarette holders here. Yes. Going back and stuff and There's just like a funny sentence here or like I mean it's not even funny. It's just a weird a weird use This is like the primary use was to keep falling ash off of a woman's clothes, especially since women didn't wear smoking jackets So they make you like are smoking is that why they're called smoking jackets like to get the ass about that Yeah, like they don't have such a messy cigarettes that they didn't ask that they're like, ah,

they got a cigarette ass all over me. I mean, I'm a damn damn ass. I need to get a fucking syrup jacket. Say dead ass. You too.

Not even a fifth check. You just mess this mess this morning. I spilled syrup on myself and then I tried to get it off by dunking a napkin in a glass of water and I tried to wipe it off, but it just the napkin deteriorated onto the shore. Oh, this is when this happened. I like how you're exploiting this as if you were legitimately trying to clean yourself. I was at first and then you dumped the napkin in the water

with your full hand in the glass of water. Okay, well, first of all, look at how big this fucking need to get harder. Yeah, that's a big, that's a get harder. What did you have a bowl of water? What we need it was a rich clip for you to take it out. Yeah, they wouldn't let me sit on the table. They made me sit on the floor as a dog. And it was a paper nap thing. And so he started going like this on his shirt. Like it was all shredded. But then yeah, so they tried to like it. It left just like a, just a long strip of white and sort of completed. I made it across and I didn't realize that I would have to walk out of the restaurant past like it.

Yeah, just keep going like this the whole time. I can't try to get it though. No, I'm not going to told me about breakfast last night. When I texted him, he had left his phone in the car. I did not. Yeah, forgot. I don't know where it was. I could have seen this all happen. I could

have told that story. Yeah, where'd you get breakfast? Kirby. Mmm hmm. Kirby Lane. Kirby classic awesome. You're enthusiasm. Kirby Lane. Oh. You know, I'm a fucking man, LD. Favorite thing in the show is JV smooth now. But I'm not just going to rick out. It's a Kirby enthusiast do the other podcast now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Curve your own toothy, Elzum. I didn't.

I didn't realize until I hear how like I forgot that you guys can't just like smoke weed openly. Oh, sorry. Are you not talking about it? Cause he had you in California, just walking to a store. If you're 21 and over or have a good fake. You can just buy like weed from a store. Fake what?

You just buy weed from a store. If you have a fake, rich, cool. I have the FBI on the phone right now. Hello, Mr. Hoover. I have something you want to hear. I'm trying to wait. He did? When?

Oh, movie. I saw a person who lives in LA was at a wedding this weekend and they took a picture on their Instagram where it was a joint bar. So it was like, you know, at weddings, there's like a dessert bar or whatever. It was a joint bar. So they had like a bunch of different joints that people could just like take and smoke and it was like, that is such a different world than Austin Texas. Yeah. I just hate the word bed tender.

I do too. Fucking sucks. Blood tender. It's like bartender. It's like a bartender. Yeah, it's like it is the barista for dispenser. Yeah, it's like, could I get, you have joints and it's like, now only a few roaches, but there's the same thing.

Yeah, I a little bit of a giant. I I heard or I's coffee. It's just as long as that I was CBD in it either. Is there is there like a whole lingo like coffee culture like where you have to like know the different terminology from knowledge you probably know better than me. You got to know like you got to know what is it the the metric system or whatever. Yeah, it's cramps. Yeah, not that I like there's it's very scientific. You can almost tell who a starter is by just asking random people on the street. Like how many grams are in an ounce and if somebody goes 28, then you're just like,

Oh, I fucking got you. Is it a 38? No, no, that's just BMI. No, this is back. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I am. I tried to sneak weed into Austin when I was coming here

and they caught me. They caught me because I brought a weed pen and I put it in my just pants pocket and I got to TSA and they were like, hey, you have to empty out your pocket so I was like, yeah, no problem. So I empty it out and the weed pen just like fell right on the thing. And the guy, yeah, and I've had an LAX and the TSA agent looked at it and he looked at me and he looked at it and he goes, you know, I can't let you in with this, right?

You know, I got to throw this away. Yeah, throw it away. You fucking, yeah, yeah, yeah, to fucking take it. So he took it, kept it whatever that I got to my hotel and I was putting on the this pair of pants And I reached in the pocket and found it I accidentally snuck into Did we mention that the Austin police department actually watches this podcast? We used to do a lot of call Hoover see if he could part of it

We used to do a lot of call Hoover, see if he could. We used to do a lot of television commercial work doing commercials for video games. And so as a result, we would have like development kits with like bills of games before they were released. And I remember I used to have trouble with them all the time and one time I was coming back from LA and I had our development kit. I remember what game I was had some like

unreleased video game on it and finished the commercial. I was breaking it back. And I'm going through the security line at LAX and they they pulled my stuff aside They're like sir is this your video game console and I was like yeah, he's like I'm gonna need to you can't take this I'm gonna need to confiscate this and I was like what because yeah, I'm gonna have to take this home And I'm gonna be playing with it for now. It's my console Pulling your leg. Yeah, and was like, are you messing with me? Or are we really gonna get into this right now? They don't, I'm especially, they're like,

okay, because I had a hard attack. That's why I have a second-rate. I'm gonna teach your fines a student with a cell phone and like, this is mine now. I guess I can. And when a teacher finds your weed vape, and they're like, you know, I can't let you get that. Sixth grade was wild.

Yeah. That, you know, like someone's asking a TSA agent, like, how is work, and it's like, how's work been? I just wanna crack a joke like once, but it never lands well. Never lands well. I, when I came here for RTX in 2019, I guess, I had like a little projector that didn't even pan out.

I couldn't even use it. So I ended up being We was like a washed out monitor so that like a bunch of like gel drink a place smash at what was supposed to be the inside gaming booth Uh There wasn't a fun has booth, but they took over one the editors anyway I was flying back and I saw him at the Austin airport and they go through my they put my bag through and they're like, okay, maybe got a stop Okay, and he's opens it up and I'm like we're not close to missing the flight But that's nerve-racking when they open up in your bag You're like okay, come here. Yes, of course of course. He pulls out the projector turns on he goes what is this?

It's like it's a projector. He's like a little small for a projector. There's like, no, it's like, I got it on Amazon. It's like 75 bucks. And he goes, mm-hmm. Is it good? It's pretty good. You know, if you have a good size wall that's empty for it and it's dark in there and he goes, I think I could still get it for this price. And I was like, I mean, yeah, probably I got it like on like a cyber Monday deal, but you know, there's plenty of these out there. You got to look for the lemons. He's like the lemons, right? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, you just have to, it's all about the brightness. You know, direction to your resolution. Yeah, I was like, is it a problem? He's like, no, okay. And so he puts it back in and zips up my suitcase and send me on my way. And he was like, is it a problem? He's like, no, okay. And so he puts it back in and zips up my suitcase

and send me on my way. And he was like, I might get one. Okay. Yeah, it's your thing, bud. Good job, yeah. I was gonna have to let me know. Let's keep it touch. Yeah, I guess.

Hit me up. Yeah, you wouldn't believe it. Some guy, other guy came here with a sick video game console. Almost. When I was in college, I got a job at the university's AV department, just so I could check out projectors. So I could take them to my dorm on the weekend. We could play Mario Kart 64.

Like we, we put it like on the giant wall. It's like I could check out all the AV equipment from the university and just like we would just play. What power? What's it? That's such power. Yeah. And then I dropped out because I played to what's Mario Karton civilization. I had Minecraft semester in college.

Everyone goes through that phase. Yeah, my grades just panked. I dropped out of first semester of community college. There's some weird connection. Am I the only college grad here? Oh, you okay. Let me me say is are we really? Yeah, fucking around. Oh God. I'm a bachelor of arts. I mean, that's great.

And I'm a bachelor at the arts. I think what you meant to say was that Gus and I are the only ones without debt. Oh, fuck. Shit. I would school in Canada. Oh, fuck you. My dad tuition in Canada. Oh, fuck you. My dad tuition was $1,500 a semester. So what you're saying is I'm the only one with student debt.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. That's cool. I got this sick projector and then cried. Someone complimented me, though. It's funny. You said, you got that projector on Cyber Monday. I started getting all these reminders. That's like from Amazon. It's like, don't forget,

Prime Day is coming up. It's like, stop trying to make this happen. It's not gonna happen. I'm surprised you don't have like some kind of corporate Santa Claus mascot yet. That's like, send your wish list to Amazon Claus. Maybe you'll get what you want on Prime Day. She says.

Go to save 10 bucks on a projector and we got you. I think the first Prime day literally fell on my birthday And I was like, ooh, okay Show us again. So what's your birthday? My birthday is July 15th. Oh, it's coming up. It's during our trip My trip before our tanks. Oh my god. I'm sure it's second Cancer I don't know astrology. I'm not allowed to talk about a show. I'll do it on this pocket Oh, yeah, that's fine by me. I don't know astrology. I'm not let's talk about a show all John is pocket. Oh, yeah, that's fine by me

I don't I Talked about it for 20 minutes on one podcast and I can never I want into it and you guys loved it I used to be really judgy and when someone was like I'm into astrology I was like You know it's not real right and then I figured everyone knows that and people are just trying to enjoy things real right? And then I figured everyone knows that and people are just trying to enjoy things. And I just, it's so easy. So like if someone's into it, I'm like, what's my rising? Here's what my birthday time. Tell me about what it means to be. It's like you were exactly on the bucket. I was confused astrology and astronomy. Yeah. Same thing. Well, no, astronomy is a study of stars.

They're both fake. And astrology is the study of why capricorns are bitches. That's what I've learned as a capricorn. You have such taris. So is your birthday in January? January 11th, yeah. 11th, okay. Yeah, you could remember.

I'm 222. Oh, shit. Oh, that really is you in the future. Yeah, no. Yeah, I was been nerding out about that since I was like 10. Yeah, oh, and the year 2022. I'm gonna turn 44 I guess what I got beat up and bullied all the time as a kid you might not be able to get this Maybe that's why it was so angry. I don't know I never got bullied. I wonder why? Why? It's crazy. Then a seven-foot kid comes to school Yeah, that's the I was I was like the tallest of my family and then my great aunt adopted a kid

from Russia. He's like 7 feet tall and I was like, you're not my real cousin since. I was still standing. Yeah, that's like it's weird. It's just, it's all natural. You just keep kicking the back of his knees every time you're next to him. That's not, that's not. Let's not hurt.

He's like a sound cloud rapper now. So he's like fully assimilated. Man, oh, Gemini, right. All right, well, I think we've got to go ahead and wrap this up. Sure. Thanks, Chris. We're sure we've been on Mondo and Charlotte over at Inside Gaming Snash Funhouse. Yeah, I mean, we like gaming.

It's doing really well these days. Well, there's still inside gaming. Brian still does their own dub. Yeah, it still exists. I'm just not there. Yeah. It's doing really well these days. Well, there's still one second. I mean, Brian still does their own dub. Yeah. He still exists. I'm just not there. Yeah. It's just fun house all the way.

Fun house. Thanks for watching, everybody. We'll see you guys next time. music Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

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