Rooster Teeth Podcast - IT’S MILLER TIME =] - #749

Episode Date: May 3, 2023

Join Gus Sorola, Barbara Dunkelman, Armando Torres, and Andrew Rosas as they talk about cringey Facebook posts, it’s always Miller time, Meeting the RTX mascots, working at theme parks, Tales from the Stinky Dragon , and more! This episode is sponsored by Sunday! -Go to http://getsunday.com/ROOSTER at checkout to get 20% off. RTX Tickets are on sale NOW! RTX Austin July 7th-9th - https://www.rtxaustin.com/ Already FIRST Member and need your Private RSS feed for this show? Go here: http://bit.ly/FIRSTRSS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What would you do if you had the freedom to be anyone or to go anywhere without limitations? Start your journey and experience for yourself the feeling of total freedom when you game with Alienware. Alienware is your portal to new worlds where limits don't exist and the only rules are the ones you decide to make. Defy boundaries and start gaming now at Alienware.com. Next-gen gaming is built with Intel Core i9 processors. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Hello everyone, welcome to the RSC podcast. I'm Gus. I am next. I'm Barbara. I'm Andrew.

And I'm the last one, Armando. I'm not using something right here. Chicken next. Chicken next. And I'm Gus. I'm Andrew. And I'm the last one, Armando. Chicken next. I'm not using something right here. Chicken next. Chicken next. And I'm going to. There you go. Sorry, the Simpson.

Anytime I'm around Barbara and Andrew, like the Simpson's, uh, references just like rice. The Circus. I can't stop them. Can't stick them down. You're in good company. Yeah, for it. Yeah, I like family guy.

You're my man of shut up. Are you big, are you big Stewie Stan? Oh yeah, I love the baby. Stuart Griffin. Mum, mummy, mum, mum, mum, mum. Mum, mum, mum. That's so funny. I love jokes that go on too.

I love the dog too. Brian. Brian, yeah, yeah. He's so funny. Cool, I've been signed out of Google right to start. Hell yeah. We love that. We have so many people.

I love family guys first two seasons when it was the Simpson, like they were just like, we'll just do the Simpson's again. They did a bunch of like very Simpson's, Simpson's like, misdirect jokes and stuff like that. It was pretty good, yeah.

And then they got canceled, went away for like five years, and then came back. Family good? Yeah. It got canceled like three times. I don't remember that. Yeah, I feel like nobody remembers that.

No, it's been holding. It's been holding. I don't know where they got just canceled a bunch and they would come back. I thought it was just like off season or something. No, they were gone. They were gone for a couple of years, let's see. They were, or was it 19?

It doesn't even list out in their Wikipedia. It says 1999 to now. Family guy episodes, a lot. I don't actually, I'm not like the biggest fan. I don't think you needed to clarify that. I feel like I do some kind. I like the dog. I like the baby. I think I think the family guys biggest fans are people on the treadmill at Planet Fitness. That was the people watching family guy. That is always on a TV at fucking Planet Fitness.

Like that more like- Files room. Oh, yeah. Oh my gosh. Oh, okay. Here we go. Opening question. Before, shut up Gus.

Shut up. Yeah, don't even try. Don't even try to get in there. You called me a pumpkin. And now you're telling me to shut up. I'm getting bullied here. I called you Gus Atlanta. The worst part of that by the way is it was as Gus was walking out and he went Oh, don't know no And let it up his shirt and did a resume. Yeah, it was

I think anything of it. It was very disrespectful. I'm so sorry. We're meeting with HR after this. I'm sorry going What is your so you walk into a hotel room, you put on the, you walk into a hotel room, of course you turn the AC down to a slow go. Oh, the guys sort of go. Yeah, the guys sort of go. You see your breath in your hotel room. You fucking crack open that hand lotion and jerk one out.

Yeah, you at, these are both things I do. You empty your round, yes, exactly. You clear the chamber. I'm not to talk about that. I don't know as much. I don't know as much. I will dial it down a bit. So you do that.

You turn the AC down. You put on hotel TV, which is a special thing hotel TV. What is your go-to hotel TV comfort watch? What are you putting on? Comedy Central. You want to watch the premium blends from back in the day? I'm watching. They don't do that anymore. It's all reruns of the office in South Park.

Yeah. And then every so often, sign fell. Oh, yeah, you can do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I, I fuck with some HGTV. Oh, we're gonna get some house hunters up in there. House hunting, love it or list it. Like any of those like house makeover shows,

that's a good background sound. I feel like. Peace of content. When I'm in a hotel room, if I watch home improvement stuff, it just reminds me that I'm not in a house. That's not what I'm saying. That's not what I'm saying.

Interesting. And then I have to go home to my also not a house. I like FX because they bounce between the Simpsons and Bob's burgers quite a bit. Yeah. That's a half-boys. I like FX because they bounce between the Simpsons and Bob's Burgers quite a bit. Yeah. That's a good double shot. But Cartoon Network does this thing. I've noticed they have like promos lately,

for I should say adult swim actually. They have promos for like their 7pm block of stuff. That's like, it's all old stuff, like King of the Hill, maybe Bob's Burgers. Great show. American dad. Great show. And they run promos that are like,

hey, it's the thing you put on when you do the things you don't want to do. And they're like folding laundry, you know, cooking dinner. Things you could just listen to and like recognize. Something familiar and comfortable that you just have there. As you, you know, you're not giving it your full attention. You're just doing something else. Some of my favorite types of TV.

Oh, yeah. Like the multi-tasking TV. Oh yeah, like the... The multitasking TV. Absolutely, someone in the chat said mine, and they're absolutely right. If I'm in a hotel, it's forensic files time to be. I knew I knew you were gonna say that. It is time for forensic files.

Bada, da, da, da, da, da, da. You're talking like original SD or the new HD one. I want that shit in four by three. No, yeah. I want that old school forensic files. I want them solving murders with like, like when DNA evidence just became a thing, they're like, we used cutting edge technology

and then you stock footage of a person looking into a microscope. And it really is a cavalcade of also like the best civil servants our nation has. Just like the weirdest looking moustacheo dudes in the world who all work in like forensics. Wonderful. All the neighbors said they got a bad feeling from him. You know, the kind of stuff.

The fact that because like forensic files is a very popular hotel room. Shots. Staple. So many people I know only watch forensic files when they're staying at a hotel. I feel like that was the only time. But I'm like, you're in hotel alone. Why yourself? Why are we watching shows about murder? There's so many other rooms

that odds of you specifically being murdered are low. So you feel safer. Right. Like at home, there's only me or my wife in the hotel. There's hundreds of people. Yeah. I think it is just like, it's also the very like, go ahead. In my home, it's fear by wife. And one of us gets killed, the other is running. That's the inspiration you just did. Because you guys have a deal where if you see your wife get murdered, you go, well, we gotta go, we gotta go, we gotta go time.

So I will also say adjacent to, if it's non-vroom's frows, you better believe it's unsolved mysteries, baby. Like, the one shit. I also say adjacent to, if it's non-ference frows, you better believe it's unsolved mysteries, baby. Like, the relationship. Well, I mean, but unsolved mysteries is like pseudocrine. It's a lot of like, Robert Stack, just if you have any information, you could solve a mystery.

How much spaghetti would it take to kill a man? They'll ask the most outlandish question and then go into like, well, Roger Elf is. Yeah, yeah yeah I'm not from it's California found out the hard way yeah but the unsolved mysteries is where you say it's like pseudo crime but then there's occasional alien abduction yeah right right right right cryptid yeah yeah it's still kidnapping you have a favorite cryptid? Yeah, Brian Griffith. Did you look up his name?

I love the dog. Oh my God, a favorite cryptid. Based on your joke from the other day, the Chupa Cotta. Absolutely. Best cryptid baby. Choo! So I chewed.

I just went to Roswell, New Mexico. Yes. And Roswell, New Mexico has the Museum of UFOs in it. Are we all good? No, because I wanted to talk about something about I don't know if we can talk about it. Yes, that's a good idea. So I thought you could talk about it.

And I told him to select someone to ask them. Perfect. Yes, sorry. I was in Roswell, New Mexico. I went to the UFO museum. And I found out that they classified the Chupacabra as an alien. Oh, here we go. He sees of alien.

Here we go. Here we go. Here we go with what? Here we go with what? Is this like a hotly debated thing? Racism. They found the Mexican one and they went, gotta be an illegal. Yeah, exactly.

None of the other cryptids are aliens. No, well, other cryptids aren't. But there's like the great whites. There's the little gray man. That also sounds a little race. It is extremely, I didn't say any of that. I didn't say any of that. I guarantee it that there is some,

like, meth-addled psycho who's like, we will deport the Cheapacabras, but those big foot, they were born here. I don't wanna get into it, but I do want you to know that there are people who believe that the great whites, the alien race came down to Earth and that is what birthed the aliens that became white people. That is a genuine thing that people believe in the world.

No, okay. That's just like some bullshit someone typed on there. Imagine it. Imagine it would blow up some shit. Imagine being shitty enough to be a Nazi, but you're like, but also I'm a fucking dork. So it's like, it's like, like fucking the stormfront produced Prometheus.

Yes. Oh my god. Oh man. It's unsolved mysteries, but it's two asses. Oh man, there's a favorite cryptid up in the polls right now. And one of these issues is blowing the others out of the water. Barb, can you answer for the? Does that say Trevor Collins?

Yes it does. 75% of the vote for the favorite cryptid. I went to the middle and I was just walking across the room like this. If you want to gin you an answer to favorite cryptid by the way, I really think Mothman should be high up there. Mothman's whole deal was he was like, dude, there's a lot of bad shit going on and I gotta let you know about it.

I just wanna give you a heads up. There's some stuff going down. Not for nothing, not for nothing, but there's some crazy shit about that. There's some crazy shit going down. And after the shit went down, he went, gotta go. Yeah, I think Mothman, you're absolutely right, Mothman deserves to be way up there

because most other cryptids are just kind of seen in blurry videos or in passing, but like Mothman is a harbinger. Those are hard to come by. Harbinger is like things that portend doom. It's rare. They're difficult to kill in Mass Effect, too. Oh yeah.

To bring it back to the hotel room. All jokes Mass Effect 2 To bring it back to the hotel room To bring it back to the hotel room TV. Mothman is the TV guide channel that it starts out with That's what Mothman is there to be like and if you want to see a bridge clap come on down Yeah, welcome to the West in West Virginia Yeah, I just watched the the actual West Virginia. Yeah, I just watched the actual, what's it called? Like the default channel by the hotel. That's like hosted by E news or something like that.

With Mario Lopez. With Mario Lopez. Mario Lopez is in. Man, I can't tell you, like Mario Lopez, King of Incidental TV. You're gonna see him on a gas station screen. You're gonna see him on the first channel you turn on in a hotel.

Yep. Man, yeah. I'm Mario Lopez and I've got debts to pay off. Yeah. That's how we introduce the start of venture show. Let me tell you about the deals that Shell has going on right now. While you're refilling your car, why don't you refuel

the family and then, you know, does a hot dog slushy deal going on inside? I thought you were talking about fast and furious. I don't know. Why are you revealing your car? Why don't you refill the familial? Why don't you refuel on family? Fast 10 in theaters.

Coming soon. Fast 10 year seatbelts. Yeah. They should have been the name. Some, some what's gonna say it. They got it. Yeah. I think that's such a missed opportunity

with the naming convention. They're saving it. Like they're not gonna show it in the trailer. They're not gonna show it on the poster You're gonna wait for it in the movie that is a that is a one-foot pot that if they fuck up Unforgivable. I mean that's two it's too good. It's a it's like the finale or the two part first part of a two-part finale Right the end of the road begins right. I heard it was like there's gonna be two movies So it's their endgame. So technically it's like fast and furious 10 part one fast and furious 10 part two. Eleven. Which would just be the fears of eleven. Maybe they didn't want to end on eleven. I'm sorry.

The end of the road begins is so funny. That is the end of the road begin. My God. It's, you know what it is? It's just a picture of the dead end street sign. It's because of the revving to it. This road does end. This is the beginning of the end of the road, but this road does end. Yes. Eventually.

That's truly great writing. I mean, going through the account of the award this year. What about you two, top cryptid? So it would probably be, it has to, for me, it has to be Chupacabra just because I grew up on the border and it was always like, oh yeah, it's out, you know, it's out in the small, it's out in Kimado, like the small town, like outside,

like yeah, it ate a bunch of sheep or a bunch of goats last night. It ate a bunch of kids that didn't behave. That was a lot of you, you know what I'm not talking about. That's right, that's right. That's right, yeah, of course. But it's a bunch of kids that didn't behave. Yeah. That was like, yo, don't mind that. That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right. Yeah, that's right.

But it's gotta be Chubacabra. List of cryptids. While Barbara looks up a list of cryptids. Ooh. Oh no, go for it. I'll vamp for you. Loch Ness Monster. Loch Ness Monster.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, terrifying man that shit is all thanks Thomas done lap in chat for reminding me about Elkwick we but again is that I feel it's like that borders more on like folklore than you got it borders just because it's his favorite bookstore I gotta fucking last I mean I feel like that Barnes and Noble's on you know something on something. Come on. Boo. Let's haste things a set way to something else. We released something on Twitter today that I've been really excited to talk about. They finally showed Travis and Willie, like two of the unofficial mascots for RTX this year. Oh, for the merch? Yes.

Is that what you had to ask about if you could show? No, there was something else I wanted to show, which it was in a real gray area, so I'm avoiding that. But yeah, we have a pictures here of Travis, the Mexican free tailed bat. Oh, so cute. And we also have Willie, the United Armadillo. Oh my God.

They showed us that in a meeting several weeks ago, maybe a couple months ago, and I was like, hold on, full stop the meeting. Well, this is all we're talking about now. I don't want to talk about anything if it's not Travis or Willie, because you know, they have like a whole summer campus static for RTX this year. Willie is after Willie Nelson, I would assume.

And Travis, and independent Willie is probably. But just like in terms of the inspiration for the names. Because Travis, Travis County, where Austin takes place. Oh, yeah. and Travis and independent will be part of it. But just like in terms of the inspiration for the names. Cause Travis, Travis County where Austin takes place. Oh, I was about to ask what Travis was, but that makes sense. Travis Barker. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I believe. I mean, after William B. Travis, one of the drunken defenders of the Alamo who refused to leave and got slaughtered. Yeah, I believe played by, I believe played by Billy Bob Thorden in the album I was saying I know my squatters right So I was curious if we can get a pole going who people like more Travis or will personally have a big Travis Let's show him up on the screen again. We got Travis. We got to show us Travis show us Travis Travis Travis Travis is first of all Mexican. So I'm you know, I feel I'm I'm I'm partial to yes

Secondly a little bandito if you see that look at that love his look I just have Mexican free and then I was like Yeah, it's 100% Mexican free labor flavor. He's got big ears for listening. Yeah, this one was drawn by the great whites. And then we're going over here. Now Willie, Willie's got a hat that I really like. He's nine. Yeah, he's got heavy Naruto vibes and he's an armadillo. So he's got leprosy. You got be careful. Oh, that's true, yeah, you gotta watch out for the, yeah. And I feel like a lot of the people that we know, a hard shell with a soft cuddly interior. Mm-hmm.

That's just because I'm a cancer, and so I'm like the crab. Ooh. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch- Yeah, so wait, was there was there a pull an actual pull? I don't see a pull yet. I don't know who to ask. Hello chat. Can we please have a poll? I don't know how to do them. Someone started someone started a pull. Someone I saw we had a poll earlier. I know someone knows how to do it. Someone. Peter H. Rowe Willie's got leprosy. Travis has got rabies. I see someone in it. Yeah, I did. Twitch Chats as Willie takes the cake. No, no, I'm a I'm a. Yeah, do not do not do not pick up trap.

If you see a Travis on the ground do not pick it up Do not handle a Travis if you see one? They are swimming with disease. We'll go wrong with fuck away with a bat Nothing in the history of the world gone wrong when people fuck away to bat. Yeah, it's it's a Perfect track record perfect track record. A perfect track record with zero. Day one million without an accident involving a bat. My sister, when we went out to summer camp, and my sister stayed in a cabin that at night,

there would bats would fly around inside the cabin at night. Interesting. And one was curled up inside a girl's shoe and she put her shoe on in the morning and it bit her toe. And so they preemptively gave everyone in the cabin rabies shots, like a rabies rat, it's like a series of shots.

You have to give them like every week for like six weeks or something. And they give it to you in the stomach and they're painful as fuck. So they did that. And then because of that, they like demolished, they took the roof off of that cat that this old cabin in East Texas to like, you know,

read the bats. Free the bats. They were like 15,000 bats living in the roof of that cabin. Yeah. You had your own little Congress bridge out there. Truly. And I was like,

How did they not like kept up at night with the constantly? But they leave. They leave at night. Yeah, it's more, it's more, so it's actually the perfect place because during the afternoons when they're like active and chirping, you're gonna be gone. Yeah, it's precisely. Yeah, yeah.

So you won't hear them and then they leave at sunset so that throughout the night they're not there. By the time you come back to sleep, they're not gonna play in your cabin. Yeah, so you won't hear them and then they leave at sunset so that throughout the night they're not there. By the time you come back to sleep, they're gone. They're already gone in the sleeping. Yeah, or the fear that we're flying around in there in the middle of the night when they're like coming back when they're full of books. The RTTV poll ended.

It was 60, 40 in favor of Travis. Travis! I don't know if you'll be able to see this, but there is a bat. I have a bat tattooed on me, right there. Real big. Oh, nice. Bats are other than rats, which I also have tattooed on me.

You only get tattoos that rhyme with each other. Yeah, that's why I got a snap. Where's the hat? And then my dad. I really want to put on like a longshoreman cap and be loading some boxes and look at the to tattoo and just go it's the bat I That's that's our my favorite animal. They have been since I was a kid. I

Absolutely love them. I've never been afraid of them. Get a little Travis tattooed on you I would and will and can get me a tattoo and can get me a tattoo artist. That really does, both of those pieces of art are for Travis and Willie. I was like, man, that is tattoo material. Absolutely, that is a pretty much it. Come down to RTX July 7th to 9th. Go get a tattoo of either Travis or Willie.

Gus will be doing them behind the convention center with Sticking Poke for 40 bucks. Take it available now, rtx austin.com, the make sure you get the tattoo upgrade. He'll either be doing it for 40 bucks or it's available now rtx austin dot com the make sure you get the tattoo upgrade it'll be yeah he'll either be doing it for 40 bucks or one nozzboot real real high school party it'll take 12 hours yeah it'll be person when I was a kid I went to a place called carls bad caverns yeah okay so you're stuck there and they're your trip to Austin during the moving special yeah yeah yes I sure did. What do you call, do you? Well, damn it.

He gave a lot of bats home. He fucked up Travis. Carl's bad caverns is this really cool place where not only is it like this really deep awesome like cave system, but one of the big things that they have is there's this huge opening where thousands, thousands of bats fly out of every sunset. It's like the Congress bridge here, but like times a hundred. It's insane. And a smaller place too.

Because the Congress bridge is pretty long. Yeah. Well, this is, it's a huge cave over there. It might be as big of a thing, but yeah, it's, it is a massive number of bats. And I remember one of the things that they had was they had that you could adopt a bat and my mom paid for it and I got like you know a photograph picture of my bat and it came with his name and and I loved him and I dreamed that one day when I saved up enough money I could come back and they would help me find him. Oh my god.

And then I was like, that's fucking adorable. And I loved him and then I was adorable. That's fucking adorable. And I loved him. And then I was full sobbing now. I went back to school and I showed people this. And then this guy that I went to school with, who's, I'm not going to use his real name. So let's call him Kyle Wong. And he's Kyle Wong. And Kyle.

Kyle basically called me a liar that I didn't adopt a bat and that's not how it worked. And I said, yeah, I did. And I brought in the photograph to show him. And I was really careful. And I showed the whole class. And the next summer, Kyle and his family went to Carl's bat. And he adopted a bat.

And he brought back the exact same photograph. Oh, that bat was too timing you. Shattered my fucking heart. They don't, they can't even go to the lengths of taking different photographs. Get five different photos. That's what they do. I think they have five different photographs that they use. And they just happen to have the same one.

You got the same one. That's bullshit. I've never been more heartbroken. And now Carl's Bad Caverns, which used to be a place of joy, has become a place of suffering and pain. Carl's sad. Carl's sad. There's a big cave with a bunch of suffering and pain. Carl said. Carl said.

There's a big cave with a bunch of bats at West of Austin. I want to say it's out by Johnson City. It's in a place called Bamberger Ranch. Yes. And you cannot get there anymore. Like they closed it off where you can't visit it. But I was able to visit there before they closed it back in the early 90s, like 94, 95.

Oh yeah. And I want to say in that cave, there are something like nine or 10 million bats. Oh my god. And there are so many that when they come out at night, first of all, it just reeks of ammonia everywhere. Yeah. When they come out, you can see multiple albino bats in one night.

Like albino bats are like one in a million, but you go out there like, oh, there's one. Well, if there's 10 million, yeah. There's another one. The law of averages, just because there's so many guarantees that you'll see multiple while buying a bunch. Even though they're ultra rare, one of my favorite things is yeah, and somebody in chat said I was going to shout out natural bridge caverns, you're goddamn right.

There are several, I mean, when you grow outside of San Antonio, you go to a lot of caves as your class field trips. So yeah, did all the cave tours growing up. And my favorite, one of the coolest things is that there are so many bats that emerge from the natural caves around here that they show up on weather radar. Oh yeah, that's a lot.

Oh, what did that, a cloud just appeared out of nowhere. There are no weather systems, but this giant cloud appeared on weather radar like over central, central hill country, and it's millions of bats bouncing off the radar. It's insane. The high today is 80 degrees, 20% chance of precipitation,

and 100% chance of bats. That's right. Two things that I wanted to share. One is that I, one time had a partner tell me that she was allergic to guano, and told me that she had tried it before and it made her definitely sick. And I was like, what the fuck? She talked about guava. Oh, but she insisted it's bad dog.

It's bad shit. Oh, yeah. And they use it to that too. Don't do that to me. But insisted that she love the taste of guano, but that it made her definitely ill. And I was like, yeah, I'm not surprised. I love the taste of Guano. You're literally bet shit crazy.

Yeah. Okay, guava. Guava, yeah. The second thing was that your point about going to a lot of caves growing up is I realized that a lot of the stuff you do as a child, like that fun shit is based off of where you're from. Like when I was a kid in California, in Los Angeles,

we went to a lot of places to pan for gold. Really? I assumed that a lot of people's childhood was gold panning. And then I realized I grew up in Gold Rush, California. And of course, that part of every once fucking childhood. I was trying to explain this to my partner of being who grew up in Delaware and Atlanta. I was just like, yeah, remember when you were a kid

and then you used to bring the pine ears down and you would pan for gold. It's just looking at me like I'm a fucking psycho. You guys also didn't have union suits with the butt flap that would fall down. And you prefer to every place is them their hills That wasn't also your child So much fucking chocolate so that I could go on the science trip which was going up to Lake Arrowhead and looking at fucking

bugs The source of Arrowhead bottled water? Yeah, very safe. Wow, I've seen it on so many bottles. Yeah, what's really nice is you can go to Lake Arrowhead, put your hands together right in the lake and bring it up to your mouth and it still tastes like fucking shit. And then you can get crypto-spirited or a GRD

and spend the next four days on the toilet. For me, it was always like, it was growing up in a small town, the border. I assumed everyone went to Mexico all the time. Or it's like everyone grew up with an international border. Yes, I did too, but I think there may have been an extended trip. It was until I moved away. I was like, oh, it is a weird childhood experience to walk across an international border by yourself. And they used to have it where, and this isn't going to make sense to you fucking over

there in the great white. I don't know, I actually don't know if this is the same, but when I was a kid and I'm so I'm assuming it was the same when you were a kid, you didn't need a passport. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You didn't need one to get in and out, because it was just right there. You needed usually a birth certificate or some form of ID.

That was it. I'll do you one better. I'm so old when I was a kid. You didn't even need that. You were a fucking girl. I don't know, yeah. And you just be like, hey, what's up? I'm an American citizen.

They're like, all right, come on in. He speaks English. I'm gonna give him. My dad, my parents, my dad grew up in the level of Rado and just like, you could literally just walk. Like there was no change. I don't know. Really?

I was gonna ask if it was 9-11, but. Yeah, that's when they became a lot more strict about that stuff. I remember it wasn't immediate too, because I remember it happened during my childhood, but not that early, because 9-11 I haven't known when I was in kindergarten. So yeah, it happened a little bit after that, but that was such a crushing blow to my grandma who used to just take me

all the time to Mexico and then not tell my mom and she always found out because my grandma let me bring home some off brand not quite right Mexican toy. It was like spider-mon or something. Did I ever tell you about the time a bunch of us were in Mexico for a friend of our brand in from a Haney's to work here? Oh yes. His wedding was in Mexico. No. We went to the Sesame Street, like Playland kind of place, but it's off brand Sesame Street.

So like Cookie Monster was like pink. Oh. And like Big Bird was kind of like blueish. And like the eyes were just off a little bit. Every ride you thought you were going to die on. Just like a little bit too rusty, a little bit too creaky. A very interesting trip. Mom, hold up me, play with my trans morpher, my trans morpher toy from Mexico. It's Optimus Price. Optimus Price.

It's Optimus Price. Optimus Price. The cookie monster has an unfortunate fold in his... No. In his suit from the accessories. Yeah, that's what it's called. Oh. For the Plezzo Cessima.

It looks like he's got it. That looks like a creature. He's got it back in some heat. That, I mean, that looks like a creature made of scrotums. That, that, that, that, that whole thing looks like, I mean, that's unfortunate. There was one of the, I forget which character it was, one of the Sesame Street characters,

who I, I don't know if I was being paranoid, but everywhere I went, this character followed us. And at one point, we were inside a restaurant within the theme park. And I look out the window, and it's looking directly through the window at me. And I'm like, surely this is a joke, right? Like, anyone else seeing this,

and you're like, yeah, it's kind of been following you around a little bit. Oh, God. I'm just like, I don't think I want to know who's under that costume. So let's wrap this up. Let's get the fuck out of here. Or if they should be at this park full of children.

Peter H. called him cocky monster. Cocky monster. Oh, cocky monster is pretty good. Yeah, I was trying to come up with one of my head. You don't want to do my search history? Come on. It's not Elmo, it's Elmo. You get the fuck out of it.

You don't want to know. That tickles. Lots of times you don't want to know who's under the suit. Yeah. Yeah, it's fine. It's cute enough one thing. And then it's like, all right, that's enough. I don't want to explore this any further than this interaction.

It's also knowing people personally who used to work at Disney. Yeah. Like Wes and like a bunch of his friends, one of his friends, Randy, who like, you cannot imagine under a suit in Disneyland, but it's just like, oh, that's what you did for a living. And you're in this person in real life, my God. Yeah, and we're being, to be clear, we're saying,

Randy's a piece of shit. Yeah. He's a real fucking guy. He's right up there with Kyle Wong. Yeah. He's just like, he, Randy's a great guy. Super fun, super nice. It's just not the person you'd expect to be underneath

one of those suits. Yeah. Right, he's like, he's just like, like double, like stone-called Steve Austin drinking, like two bears, like, damn. Yeah, he's like the party guy. He's a party suits. Yeah. Right, he's like, he's just like double, like Stone Cold Steve Austin drinking like two beers. Yeah, he's like the party animal. Yeah, I mean, that's, that is, I worked at a theme park that I, for legal purposes, I cannot say the name of this theme park,

but it was based around sticking very different colored brick toys together. Oh, yes. Out in San Diego, California. Yes. You'll never be able to guess which one it is. Anyway, all of our people were like Playmobil bands.

Little yellow people with big round heads and claws that, you know, they're constantly throwing up Crip. Yeah. And they represent. Hey, I remember watching one of the mascot people like go out there for this charity event and just fucking like giving it there all like the head would spin around.

And I found out the way that they did that is they would push the head up and then twist their neck real fast so that the head would spin around. And then they would somehow know when to stop it and then go boom and hit it in the back so that the head would stop, right? Whoa, they hit it.

You feel like brain damage? Well, hold on. They would also spin like the hands or do all this crazy shit. They also figured out how to pick stuff up, which is crazy, because again, the hands are big seas and they're rounded. So it was just perfect.

And I saw this person at a charity event for kids with terminal diseases. And then I was like, wow, what a great, like that person probably dedicates their whole life to making kids feel better. And then I saw them fucking rail some nose can't be in the bathroom. Not 20 minutes after that. Just like, oh, that's where the magic comes from.

From that. I see. Really, really hitting slopes in the minz room. Oh, interesting. Ooh, baby. I anyway. Lockblocks will do that to you. Yeah, if you've never done math in a bathroom with a character voiced by Chris Pratt, you have an adjunct. Well, Mario and I. Yeah.

I feel like, maybe this is just a, maybe this is just, this is an off the cuff assumption. But I came, having, this is nothing to do with the place of your former employment. But I have a few, I had an ascitation that I came from a Lego family. I played with Legos.

I don't know how that is. It's completely non-sequent. I played with Legos growing up. It's Legos, by the way. It's what? Itsequent. I played with Legos growing up. It's like that, by the way. It's what? It's Lego. I played with Lego growing up, not pluralized. I played with Lego growing up.

It's like Canon and Canon, Snow Canon is the plural. I played with Lego growing up. And it seems to me that all the weirdly religious children had playmobile. Is that, I feel, maybe that's, I feel like when I went over to, when I went over to a friend's house, it's like it was like the bigger softer kind of stuff.

Well, you didn't build, you didn't build anything with them. They were kind of just like little play, already made kind of like play sets. Yeah, they were kind of already done. They had like, and characters that look more human, right? Yes, yes, and again, like I remember going over to friends houses, going up who were from slightly more conservative religious households and they all had playmobiles

I don't know what that means. Well, that's because playmobile canonically has a Jesus that died for their sins. That's right. Okay There is the playset where he does die for your sins. Well, I think it's because Lego is blasphemous because only God creates. You have no idea. You can only, only God can build worlds. You cannot create these things. I was going to make a joke about how, with Lego characters, you could take the head of one character and put it on a different body.

Like you could take a guy with a beard and put it on a women's body. They don't want that. They don't want that. That's illegal, I'm saying. Not in Playmobile. When Playmobile, those characters are set in stone. They come pre-made and there ain't no change

in anything about their identity. And they're very, like, you just pulled up. I look at this, you do. They look very also like mid-century, too. Also, they look very like Mormon toys. They have little, uh. Exactly, that may be it. I'm just like Mormon toys.

They have little things on the bottom, so you can attach them so they can like work their little jobs. And I don't know if you knew this or not, but the the women ones that they made they don't do as many jobs They don't let the Jesus They don't they can stay with only in the confines of the whole Going from the bedroom to the kitchen to the bedroom to the kitchen. That's it. Yeah a little bit like this head cannon were developed I don't know if this makes you feel any bit better and I might actually get in trouble for saying this but...

With him. Fucking come after me. I again completely unattached from the stories that I told earlier but I used to work for Lego Land. As a master model builder. I didn't know that. Really? Oh shut up.

You're doing the bit. Okay. I'm playing along okay yes and and I want to die I used to work at Lego land and I would build the you know the buildings yeah shut up that damn it walks into it every time fucking time so I used to work at Lego land. You did? There it is. Really? Huh? I'm going to go do a fuckin' bath in a San Diego bathroom again if you don't stop.

At a charity event. We used to build like all the big buildings for, they would go out to other places. And one of those places that we built for was Legoland Dubai. I don't know how up to date you are with the goings on in Dubai, not necessarily like the coolest place to be if you're not the elite ruling class. And the people paying for this Legoland attraction were really in that ruling class. So there was a lot of us that didn't super wanna like contribute to that.

And so there were stuff that we made like, they wanted the Burj Khalifa, which is the tallest building in the world. They wanted that to be one of the tallest Lego buildings in the world also. And they're really adamant about it. And so they were being such difficult pieces of shit that my favorite part about that

is hidden inside of the Burj Khalifa is a bunch of fucked up stuff because they all got covered by windows that were then frosted so you can't see what's going on. So inside of the Burj Khalifa, in Dubai, the real Burj Khalifa. Inside of, no, inside of the Lego Burj Khalifa,

there's like a bunch of like Legos fucking each other and like jerking off and doing like there's these party things. It's all real real real Caligula hours inside the front behind the frosted glass of the bridge Khalifa. And no one will ever know for sure if I'm telling the truth because you'd have to break that shit open to see it. It's one person from Dubai who also works at the if I'm telling the truth, because you'd have to break that shit open to see it.

It's so fun. One person from Dubai who also works at the Burj Khalifa. What's it called? It's a Burj Khalifa. It's listening to this podcast right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not too happy about it. Do you know there's a bit of trivia about the Burj Khalifa?

I think a many people don't know. So it's like, you said, the biggest tallest building in the world. Very, a lot of interesting things about it, but the most disturbing thing I think about it is that it is not hooked up to the sewage system in Dubai. So, it all the sewage drains into trucks that have to truck out the raw sewage every day. Every day? Every day? Yeah, the new truck shows up to get filled up every day. It produces 15 tons of sewage a day.

And I'll give you a, just a second. And they take it right over to Fox News. God, I'm the God-y. 15, no, they developed that in house. Uh, who, what? 15 tons? Yeah, that's a day. How many people are there?

35,000. It's a huge building. Here's another fun fact for you that shows the kind of people that were commissioning us to Dusha is the Bridge Khalifa has multiple times, I believe, been overtaken as the tallest building in the world. And what they do is send people up there

to build just enough higher on top of what's already existing on a building to remake them the tallest building in the world. That screams cautionary tale. That's seeing that screams moral of the story, like real tower of babble type shit. Like the, ah, man's folly of hubris is going to just absolutely come crashing down upon these people. But that's what happens when men rule the world.

They wanna make their building just a little bit taller. Just a little bit taller. Just a little bit taller. Oh, what would you do different? You would like hook it up to the sewer system and like not necessarily like subjugate thousands of people into pain and suffering so that you can have like a bigger ego? Yeah, probably.

That's some big thing. I thought it'd be like, we could stop now. It's good. Yeah. I'm sorry. No. I was saying we can stop now. As in, we're done building this taller.

Just puts a hat like just like a tiara. A little Lego head. Yeah. You know, speaking of like the largest things in the world, you know, the, you T-football stadium, the Derral K Royal Memorial Stadium, is the ninth largest stadium in the world. I don't think people appreciate that living here in Austin.

Wait, in the world? Yes. 9th largest. What the fuck? How many people could it hold? That can't be true. It holds a little over 100,000. Wow.

That's what I mean, that's a fucking lot of people. Yeah, the ones that, the number one in, number one's in India, number two's in North Korea, and then three, four, five, six, seven, eight are in the United States. Are we sure it's in North Korea? Are we sure it's in North Korea? Okay. Punch it. Are we sure? And did you know that that Kim Jong-il built it himself?

Oh yeah. And then shot a perfect then shot a perfect golf game. Have you ever seen any of the videos? So they actually do have this really large stadium. They have something. What do they call it? I think they call it the Aarirang games every so often, where it's like a celebration, I don't know, like gymnastics and whatever. But the people in the crowd all have like books with different colors in it, and they'll organize. Like everyone closes and opens their books to certain colors so that it looks like a giant TV on one side of the stadium, or it's just like they can, like it's like everyone's a pixel.

Oh. They all illuminate different colors and they have these giant displays, like waving and all this cool, cool shape. Like, shit. That is a lot of people. You could literally be a real life dead pixel. Yeah. You could do that to do it.

That's the video. So my sister, my sister recently moved to unnamed. North Korea. She really? Yes. Wow. I know. Crazy. Wild move.

She just moved to a town, an unnamed town that has a population of 60,000 people. And just like the fact that that stadium can hold more people than like the unentire, like, yeah, it's just like, I mean, in a modern town with like, you know, bustling, bustling community, but like. Yeah, it's very modern town in British Columbia. Yeah. With a population of 60,000.

Yes. Those are all the facts you'll get. Yep. A very modern one. Where the, you know, the address that she lives in. Yeah. Welcome to the Doxie Hour. Yeah. And if you're unclear on how many people 100,000 is,

just like, imagine this, you're one person, right? 100,000 of that. That's a really good thing. Wow, I a really good thing. It's funny though, because I used to go to hockey games when I lived in Canada. And I thought the stadium there was big, but that's only I think 20,000. Oh yeah. If you want to, it's a Scoti Bank Center, I think is what it was called. The Scoti Bank place. I just remember the song from 30 Rock that one of the characters sings about the Scotiabank plays. Anyway, continue. I didn't know there was one. Yeah, I can't do this funny to us.

Just the kind of that is funny to us. It's really fun watching early 2000's TV when they have a Canadian character because it's just like, oh, you're fucking, they're fucking joke, the capacity for hockey at the Scotiabank Center is 10,595. Wait, what? Maybe it used to be something else, change locations. So it's like 90 times or 10, no, no, no, no, 9 to 10 times bigger. Yeah. Yeah.

Which is crazy because that stadium seems to be a fucking lot of people. Can you, this is not, But you got to convert it. Like you multiply it by 0.6, because it's getting more serious. Yeah, we use the metric. That's the best thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because people are less.

Can you, what's a staple center, formally staple center, currently crypto.com? Is that what it's arena or coliseum? No, really? Yeah. Monod that the fucking fortune favors the brave, which is, it's the bold. I cannot believe they fucked that up.

The, the, crypto.com arena. Yeah. He's a, no, look me in the eyes and say, yeah. The crypto.com arena holds 20,000 people in a paper basketball. Holy shit. And that seems like a lot of people, right? That seems like a fucked ton of people.

Yeah. Times that by five. Did you take all of those people? Uh-huh. And multiply by five. Five of five of each people. Oh. I went to one UT game and it was like,

I think the year or like the second year I lived in Austin. And it was just like, you can't, it doesn't register. It's like when you're skydiving and like, it just is like blur. I'm sorry, what? Have you ever been skydiving? Once. No, like when you're skydiving and like it just is like blur. I'm sorry, what? You've ever been skydiving? Once.

No, I've never been skydiving. What you imagine to be skydiving where it's like you jump out of the plane and you can't decipher anything. It's just mesh. Yeah. I want to learn. I am very sorry. I am just pictured, the skydiving instructor, strapped to Mondo like a baby

Bjorn. Yeah. I think you carry some out of the plane. of the plane. I am too heavy for some chairs If I'm gonna trust a fucking air air shoot What are they? Air shoot. Yeah, yeah, I don't know not for everybody Sometimes I the other day I was watching an old episode of scrubs where they have a scene where they They go off like bungee jumping off of a bridge.

And I was like, I'm not trusting that. There's no fucking way I'm trusting my life on that. For some reason, skydiving to me was way less intense or way less scary than bungee jumping. Like I wouldn't do bungee jumping, but skydiving was like, I trust this. I think it's the, I'm the same way and I would never do either,

but I think skydiving is actually more appealing than Bungie jumping. Simply because I think it falls into the category of, it's such a great height that it, like your brain turns it off. Like it has no ability to cut, like, it just went, it has no ability to conceptualize,

like relative scale at that height. So you're just like, no, it's just a big, big, empty fall with the earth, like, far away from me. But like, bunch of jumping, it's like, yeah, I can see the rocks. Like, I can see. I feel the, like, going, you'll feel that. Yeah, you'll do.

The closest I've gotten is to a, a, what do you call it? Like, I think it was at six flags or something that I went to, where they pull you all the way up, they like put you in a harness and there's me and my partner at the time. We, they pull you all the way up

and then they just let you go. And you just free fall from really high, but eventually the slack of that wire catches and you go like this. Like a pendulum. And then you kind of fall again and then it catches you, yeah. Then they let you slow down.

But that one moment of when they just went and it we fell and it doesn't, because you're in a harness, but you don't feel anything as you're falling. I was like, I went my life flash before my eyes. And again, this was when I was like 18 or something. So it was a very short line. Yeah. And I still, I think even thinking about it,

I feel my hand. Ooh, claiming. Clamming. Clamming. What? Are you afraid of heights in general? Yeah, I'm afraid of heights. Sometimes, and I'm so tall,

sometimes I look down and go, ah! I get personal where to go. It sucks. You see so much short. I'm not told this story in the podcast before or apocops before, but it's a very powerful sense memory of going up to formerly Sears Tower,

now the Willis Tower in Chicago, and taking the elevator to the top floor, and you get out, and if you just like are still and close your eyes, you can feel the building move in the wind, bone-shilling. I think you Yeah. Bone-shilling. Absolutely nightmarish. That I did that and I, because someone told me to like, I'm already scared of heights, but of course I went up there and I was like, okay, I just like to look at the window, okay.

And then like, was just like still for a minute and felt that subtle movement in the breeze. And it has to, it has to be able to flex because of the wind. It's like, you can't be rigid or it would break. So you just feel that slight movement. It's like, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, all the way down, down, down, down, down, down. I'm like, the fuck outta here, nine years. I need to be closer to foundation.

Close it to the earth, yeah, that just that feeling. No, that feeling, I'll just, I'll carry that with me for a while. We weren't meant to be up there. If we were, we'd be birds. Spitting in the face of God. Yeah. Right up there on this tall building. You know how be birds. Spitting in the face of God. Yeah. Right up there on this tall building.

You know how many things- Yeah, go get your plan-obile. Yeah. Yeah. You know how many time like I fucking, every single time I take a flight and we hit turbulence. And God, so I know you'll back me up here. Every single time we do that, I go,

we weren't meant to take the sky. Oh no. This is God's anger. We're ground creatures. I can't hear you. If I't meant to take the sky. This is God's anger. We're ground creatures. If I was meant to be here, my bones would be all low. I don't really have a fear of heights per se, but something that gets me if I'm ever on a ledge or like any sort of tall area overlooking something and someone takes out their phone and take a picture and they

hold it over the ledge or hold anything over. That makes my whole body go, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, like just bring it, oh, because I just, a picture of them dropping it or picture something falling and that thing. This is maybe more dropping and then going for it and then falling. If that would be like, you're like, you look, and your instinct is like reach out and grab it and then you lose balance. It's called so many people die taking photos on the ledges.

Right. It is, it is, it's probably on the list of causes of death. I think you'll have died for their phones. In some way. Trying to get their phone back or trying to catch it somehow. Yeah. This is, it's going to sound like a bit and it kind of is, but it's also real. And it's a little dark, but sometimes when I've gone

to places like that, like the Grand Canyon, or you can go really high up on like the Eiffel Tower, or the Statue of Liberty and Look Over at Stuff. And as people are taking photos, this thing rings out in my brain where I'm always like, if I'm in a photo, I just think about how funny it would be to be just like, and just dive down. Like, in the photo.

But the thing is, is the way I want to do it, is I want to pose for the photo and then go, okay, one more, and it's like, okay, three, two, one. And just dive. Just, that your last, your last greatest bit is being someone's like, rude, like, in, I mean, absolutely changing the trajectory of the people who took

that photo's life. Like, everything would be different from then on. And you'd be like, hey, trust me, take one. If you go to the top of the pick subreddit, you're gonna get the zombie up votes for this picture. Why do he give two thumbs up? Why did he do that? Why did he give two thumbs? You know, the, in Rio de Janeiro, the... Christ, the... Christ, the... ...Damer statue.

The... The... The... The... Christ... The... The... I've talked the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the It was like on the shoulder and like walk out onto the shoulder. And it's like they were filming. That's where he carried me. Like taking photos from like way down here. And it's like literally like like teeny tiny like the photos they were taking of them were literally like a god's dandruff. Yeah, it was insane.

And they're like just so you know this isn't like an opportunity that you could do as a tourist here. We were very lucky to have come into circumstances to be able to do this, but like, holy shit. Now, I would funny what it'd be if during the war. Sick. Fucking die, mom. And you get that.

I'll be redeemed. And you give that fucking like, whoa, like wrestler, like a free man. I do love how he's teaposing now. I, the thumbnail, the title of this episode, I'm the thumbnail better be Christ the Dabber and have the, that's what's gonna be in the background of the thumbnail.

With Playmobile and the Friday. Which is just Playmobile figures. That's one of those AI image generators to do it. Christ the Redeemer dabbing. Dab, I mean you probably could done Rich player. Thank you chat Rick flare. I couldn't remember the name and I was like I'm in Dallas, but no no no Rick flare that's like a chat Roganasty said they were like the little angel in devil on Jesus's Shoulders pretty much that's fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can't wait for our sins. No, don't do it

There's a bunch of awful creatures. Hey, let her wash your feet. It'll be hot. Cause Mary did that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't know how familiar you are with the story of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

Catholic went to church and Sunday schools. Did you get hit with a ruler? No, dirty lefty? No, I did not. Luckily, you did? I did, my dad did. He got cracked with rulers. Those nuns were fucking all business.

Really? They were mean. According to my dad, it was like, yeah, I got, oh man. Yeah. What did he get hit for? Miss Bhabi's being like a kid. Yeah. Yeah, he got the answer That's that sentence is he was abused by nuns with a ruler big for misbehaving like they beat the children with like with fucking rules

Crazy, but that's what Jesus believed in yeah, right historically. Yeah, Jesus loved it. Spear the raw People yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, we hate that neighbor. Hey, he would cast out demons with a ruler. This is you check, yeah, Mark chapter four. He went into the masses with a ruler and just started smacking the devil. Smacking knuckles. Yeah, wrap it, yeah. Oh, fuck.

Ah, yeah, yeah. You reminded me. I hate hand stuff. So anytime, like, really? I hate, it ain't type of hand injuries, just like, ooh. Okay. So what do you, what fucking the, the anti-middle schooler? You hate hand stuff?

Nice. Like, when I was, you know, this is, you reminded me of, I get the world's worst hand job. Yeah. Hey, I was there. I was there. Hey, listen, I'll take what I could get.

Yeah. I was in sixth grade, asshole. I didn't know any better. This episode of the received podcast is sponsored by Sunday. It seems like every spring, I find myself standing in the store wondering which products won't use harmful chemicals in my lawn. When I do find something seemingly all natural,

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Just read something of the name because Mark is a, what do you call it, a book of the Bible. Yes. But what I think is funny is that it's just become like a name that's synonymous with me for like assholes. My stepfather was named Mark and I was showing you this earlier. This is a bad segue into it, but I just, out of curiosity, I found my stepdad's Facebook page, and I started going through, scrolling through, and I've been looking through all of his posts from 2020 all the way back to 2009,

and all of them are in all caps and I wanna read to you. Did they get angry or starting in 2020? Oh yeah, he got real bad. But I just wanna, this one comes to us from April of 2011 and it says in all caps, gotta work, Mannyanna, but in no way shape or form,

will that interfere with Miller time. Nice. He uses Miller time as a catch phrase. This one comes to us also from April 2011. Drinking also all caps. Drinking is still happening regardless of wife's mandatory yard work. Stay up all you players, Pps and hose, miller time. Stay up all you pimps and hose, miller time.

Miller time. A lot of dots too. Normally you like stick with three. These two are my fucking favorite and shows exactly the kind of person my step that was. This one is from December 2009. Also, all caps lost a great guy over the weekend Rip Fabian and then this one is from one hour later

Eagles in first place all is well now Man had to live in the American dream and highs and lows To be marked to be so be so rudderless and wind blown in the emotional department You know the caps lock is broken on his keyboard No, I don't know why he tweets Why he fucking writes like God that reminds me of my favorite 30 rock jokes Jack Donoghies is like we had competing columns in Irish arguments monthly America's only all caps magazine I don't remember that one.

I was also really hoping, what was the first tweet about? It was a tweet, it was a drinking is still happening regardless of wife's man. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. It was the rip one. Oh, we lost a great man today. Fabian, RIP, Fabian. Miller time.

I thought he was gonna add that to. Got a poor one out. Feel better, it's Miller time. Where was the other one that the kicker will be if it doesn't even drink Miller? Oh, he only drank Miller even more than water damn at work on a Saturday and all my bosses are here including the plant manager Dot dot dot dot dot definitely gonna be Miller time tonight I just love just like well on my way to court ordered alcohol anonymous meeting Miller time tonight. I just love just like, well, on my way to court ordered alcohol anonymous meeting. Miller time. And also I don't know I can't convey this through like verbally, but every time he writes

Miller time, he does a smiley face and it's the equal sign and the closing bracket. Oh, yeah. He does the smiley. The bracket? Not in the parentheses? No. Oh, so the square. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, wow I'm gonna test that one out the chat right now. Yeah, look at how and all caps Miller time equal sign That was bracket. Yeah, there you go

That's psychoship. I also love how there's a slight delay for chat too So they're gonna see that and be like what the fuck is this stuff my toe? Go and friend the person. Man, yeah, social media was a mistake. I love it. I love the fact that I can go look at what my step that was doing in 2009, because you sure as fuck was it being a good father?

It's Miller time. I mean, it was Miller time. It's real. He was on Miller time. Yeah. That's Miller time's a lot like island time, but it tastes like dog shit. Yeah.

Listen to that from now on, that's the new smiley face, the equal sign and the bracket. Yeah. That is the old way. And we're gonna just start using Miller time for the next thing in this point. Any sort of celebration. All of every single one of his posts are like,

the only one that I found that was different was him talking about like how the dark night is the bizzom and I'll show you how he wrote it. It's fucking it is not the way you're expecting it is. Instead of like bomb. Yeah. He would say, okay peeps. I'm the last person to do anything. I just saw the dark night for the first time. Holy shit. That was the bizzom. Oh, it is so, there is, I'm truly nothing better. I know, it's so chilling, there is nothing better than, like, there's nothing better than boomers trying to talk like

teens in 2002. He's a Gen X on, yeah, exactly. Well, I mean, I'm just, my worst nightmare too of like, whenever I try to be hip and cool and say things like slay. I'm like, I'm, I'm that. I'm our parents trying to talk like, yeah, what's up fellow kids? It really is like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, well, your gender guess. I just every single one of his posts is complaining about my fucking mom and talking about how he wants to get drunk. She was at this time

Oh my god. It's all just him fucking shitting on my mom and the fact that she wants our yard to not look like shit She's about how he wants to get drunk Miller time. It's gonna happen to all of you. Yeah, you're gonna get old And you're gonna be doing that same shit the worst part is like Or you could be in a healthy relationship. No, I mean, not that. I mean, like the talk. I could absolutely crush the champagne of beers right now. Absolutely.

If there's one thing I know, it's that I could fucking slam a miller and that my fucking wife is a dumb bitch. Those are the two things that I know, and I need to express them in all caps. In all caps, on Facebook, to an audience of four. Yeah, and it's like the best one. It's like, how many friends is like, it's like, you just know one.

It's like, it's the bizarre. They will give three likes. This is his most like post. It's got three likes and one comment. I love how he also use peeps. Oh yeah. Hey, peeps. That's the, I mean,

no, that is the, that is the unsung hero that's doing so much heavy lifting and that, sup, pee. So I just like, again, this makes me want to find my relatives on Facebook. Also, he's starting to be like, oh, I kind of like this guy. Like he's like an American hero.

A lot of his new fucking posts are about how like we shouldn't be tearing down Confederate statues. Not a white guy, by the way, isn't that wild? Not at all the white twisted. Yeah. And then the second thing is that like the work that he's talking about is building military weapons to go to war. He works for the military industrial compass.

I feel safe now. Yeah. Those are the people that believe in building our country's greatest weapons. They're all waiting for Miller to win. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time.

They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time.

They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time.

They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. They're all waiting for time. I mean, some real, man, I mean, really pure, uncut, stepdad energy, just wafting all the, like, you know, we make jokes and everything, but that really is just like, I mean, this is, this is the source, baby, that's real, that's it. Well, there's two different, I don't know if we've talked about it on the show before, but you exude stepdad energy. Who's talking to me, right?

Yes, yes, yes, farm. You look like you'd make my mom real happy. Maybe I already have. Whoa. Shit. Shit. I'm like, someone's fucking enough forever. Mike just like took his glasses off,

just like, woo! Shit, spicy. Yeah. You know, I don't know. You're talking to me, I'm stepped up. Yeah, but the opposite of this kind of step that, this. I'm stepby. You're stepped to me, I'm stepped out. The opposite of this kind of stepped out. This, my step. My daddy, you're stepped out. Yeah.

My step dad was pure, uncut, bad step dad energy. Like the things that bad step dads are made out of. Yeah, like they combine, like it's the power puff girls for bad step dads where they like combined Miller Lite, NASCAR racing, and just a. Shitting on your wife. Yeah, shit on your wife, and just a huge dash or like it was chemical X, but it's like not caring about anybody else's feelings.

Yes, yes. And thinking you're weak if you do. Yeah. So I think what you're, I think I know what you're talking about. So there is X step dad, real piece of shit, new forever step dad. Mm-hmm. This guy. That's you.

I'm in for the long haul, baby. You're the one who calls like the kids sport. Yeah. Yeah, tiger, champ. Champs, honey. You really, you got, you exude, I, I, the father of it stepped up energy. Hey, I'll be that guy.

I'll play and catch. I'll have teaching kids things. I'll have taking interest in their interests. Oh, what are you building there? Oh, that's cool. Did you make that yourself? You coloring that? Awesome. You know, you're good if your voice goes an octave higher. Yeah. Cheyenne. What's up?

You're like that step down bald eagle. Everyone was freaking out about a couple weeks ago. What? Oh, yeah. The bald eagle that adopted, that like was taking care of a rock. Because it's parenting, it's like, it's parenting drive instinct was so strong. It just, it was taking care of a rock, and then they gave it an actual eagle baby to step, to step parent, and it did. Whoa, it did, what?

Do you think there was a moment for this eagle where they went, that's not the fucking rock I was looking at? This one's way more high-maintenance, but the rock hatched, oh my god! Okay, where's my fucking rock? I was gonna say at first you exude the step-debt energy, which in my mind is seen liar, liar. The guy who starts dating Jim Carrey's ex-wife.

Yeah. Here comes the claw. Here comes the claw. The claw's coming at you. Ooh, look out. And this guy is, you know, it's because my real dad, you know, it's funny as him. I mean You're not gonna be you're the dad that they appreciate in 15 years. Yes

Five of me. Yeah, I just want to set I just want to set them on the straight narrow, you know That's not a good one. You just want to fucking slam a divorced woman Not want to do it. Yes, that's what I pour. Yeah, we've all seen Milk Manor. Yeah. God. I would, I would go on Milk Manor. Is that still going on? No.

I don't know. No, the Milfe went home. I hope they turned it down because it was like, I don't know. Was there only one season in it? I don't know. I don't remember where we made the joke, but Andrew and I made the joke before of like,

I bet they tried to do Dill Fden or something, and then as soon as they did the introduction, they went, nope, nope. Shut it down, shut it down. It's way groucher than we thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't feel good about this. It's kind of pervy.

In fact, lock the doors, put a fucking broomstick in the door handles, trail a gasoline. We are like, no one's getting out of here. So yeah, I think the draw of the stepdad energy or wanting to date older women with a child is that maybe the appeal of that is like, oh, because there's some responsibility, there's some grown upness to it,

there's people who are older, typically, hopefully, of figuring out who they are and what they want. And that's very true. That's very lie on. They definitely figured out what they don't want. And they definitely figured out what they don't want. So that is also, again, you're narrowing down, you're becoming more of who you are and figuring out.

And that's very attractive. I do find that very attractive. Do you ever date somebody with a kid? No. Really? No, never did. Have you? Yeah. It's really awful. Oh. Because that kid could beat him up. Maybe that's just a particular, No, really? No, never did. Have you? Yeah.

It's really awful. Oh, because that kid could beat him off. Maybe that's just a particular person. He was seven, too. It was just that it was like, I think the thing is, is it happened when I was younger than I am now. And again, I'm only 27 now. So do that, math. And it was kind of weird to date somebody that could switch from being

somebody that I was really attracted to to somebody who sounded just like my mom. Oh, chilling. That is. Oh, no. And it's not like this thing where it's like, oh, psychologically, I like it. Like it would happen. And it was like fucking nails on a chalkboard where my brain went, no, no. Ehh, just like real hard. Like fucking alarm buzzers going on. I'm gonna count to three and if the clothes are not on the hamper by then. Just like, there's just like a dust-shaped, a mondo-shaped dust outline.

As he like bolts out the door. I legit took, I had to, fuck, I'm realizing that there's more red flags to this than I thought. I had to go with her to an Apple store to buy a new phone because she didn't trust just getting one in the mail. And I remember as we were waiting, I was complaining about hungry I was and she pulled the snack out of her purse

and it was the most confused I had ever been. Because on one end I was like, ooh, a snack. And then I went, ooh, a snack. Oh, a snack. And also, again, I was like 22 and her ex-husband was like 47. Oh, she, if you don't mind me asking. She, oh, fucking Christ, she was 44.

Wow, double your age. Yeah. I remember, I do remember that she was older than my mom, which was weird for me. Wow. W. Yeah. I remember I do remember that she was older than my mom, which was weird for me. Wow. Yeah. That's a maybe they could have been friends. They certainly could have. That's a joke that my mom has made several times before. I tend to date women older than me. And then she goes, I want to hang out with that person. I go, no. That's when I put some rocks in my pockets and walked into the sea. That's when I go to Christ the Redeemer.

Yeah. But then you get to know you, you then you'd have the good snacks that you actually want. My mom has made a joke about how she should just start dating or she should just start being friends with all the women I date. And that's how she'll make friends as an older person. That's why you should make sure you date with a guy you're in. Yeah, I don't know, man.

That's just everyone in chat red flags across the fucking board. I mean, like at some point, like obviously when you're past a certain age, it becomes a number. Like, you know, dating someone older than you or younger than you as long as it's, of course, legal and consensual and everything like that. Like Hugh Jackman and his partner. The age difference is like 48 and 60 or something I think. Right? Oh really. Which is like a 12-year age difference. Right. Listen to 48 and 60. You're really not

gonna be that different people. Right. But at some point where like 22 and 44, you are vastly different places in your life. You literally have a child almost my age. And I mean like not my age, but close enough to where it makes me uncomfortable. Close enough to where these memories are formed. And that person remembers me. Say your name, probably.

Watching the podcast right now. They're gonna be my dad. In the chat actually, we have them here. Welcome Peter H. Peter. Well, Jason, if you're out there, I'm sorry, dude. I'm real sorry, dude. That sucked, bro.

Your mom had good snacks though. Who was it? You remember? So to speak. I kind of feel like I'm so glad you're speaking. Oh, yeah, brother. Hell yeah, brother. I think it was Jesus. I kind of feel like I'm so glad you see it. Oh yeah brother. Hell yeah brother.

I think it was Jesus. I don't remember. But I just remember Jesus the Redeemer. Yeah, Jesus. Jesus the Redeemer. That was the weirdest time in my life. Also like meeting somebody off Tinder, which I feel like no one uses Tinder anymore.

But like. It's all like Brian. Like what's the other one? Well, Ryan is for celebrities. Yeah. And I'm still awaiting my invitation. If you can accept me, if you know anyone on Ryan, he's on a podcast.

Well, hinge is a lot. Yes, send me a Ryan invitation for Christ's sake. Let's go. I'm not even ready to go. I've heard of it. Ryan, how do you spell that? Are you Ryan? I mean, I don't know.

I'm a person in the media. Yeah. Of some, some steam. I think the only reason't know. I'm a person in the media. Yeah. Of some, some esteem. I think the only reason I know about it, is I have a friend in LA who uses it or who got an invite to it. I type Ryan to Google, it's like Ryan the last dragon. Yeah.

Oh, I got a message from Ryan. Oh, just a guy saying what's up, dude. Yeah, it's a dating site for people named Ryan. And that's it. You always wanted to bang a guy. Come on down to Ryan. Do you ever, if you desperately wanted a bang a guy who's gonna ignore your needs, check out Ryan.

Yeah. I remember, yeah, from 90. Like the Skylarat. Yeah, truly. Literally, truly. From like 19 to 23 or 24, it was just the tender age era of my life and was fucking awful. Where I would just meet people who are like,

Lily, I don't think we should ever, I don't think you should be dating. Yeah. Just fucking. Yeah, I had a couple tender years. Crazy. Do you remember like any horror stories? All of them. Yeah.

I was only like a year that I was maybe on the dating apps and stuff like that, because after that I was like, this is like a job interview every time I go on a date. It's like rehashing where I'm from, who my siblings are, what I do for a living. There was one date I went on and we sat at this picnic table

that's like at a bar outside. He was facing like the entrance of the bar and I was facing like into the bar. This guy would ask me a question and be like, so like, how many like, just, you have, and I would start answering the question. And he would do this thing. Like imagine he was talking to me, he'd go, uh-huh. Just, yeah. And like completely like wander his eye over and watch women walk in like fully staring at their ass. Yeah, were they harder than you? Probably.

Nice, it's crazy. It's not that hard, very low bar. Shut up. Shut up. You're a fucking beautiful person inside the ass. Aw, thank you. But I was just like, at one point, I was like, am I boring you?

Like, do you want to be here? As you can just leave. Which I did. Yeah, yeah. At first, it happened a few times. I was like, this is weird. That was the thing that I always hate about first dates is that, like, oh, where are you from?

How many siblings do you have? Do you fucking care? Do you really care? Like, ask me, like, what's the coolest, what was the, your favorite book that you've seen? What's a TV show that you like recently? Yeah. I don't know.

I just, I hate first dates. I think it's just, I'm so bad at small talk. And so I'm such an awkward person too. Yeah. And I do this thing, which I, I feel like I'm better about now. I overcompensate in conversations if the other person isn't as forthcoming. Yeah.

And that often leads to like, well, I'm just like stretching to find a question that I think it's entertainer brain. It could be. I think, you know, it's really, I think it's a really important having gone on update recently. I think I think what's Oh, I'm sorry. Why did I do that? Why did I do that? So a first date is like subsequent dates. And it's also something I think that's really important for relationships, which is this still always maintaining curiosity

about the person that you're with. And stoking the flames of that, like even from whether it's first date or you're in a long-term relationship for years and years, because people do change subtly and they get new interest, they get new hobbies, they get new discoveries, they evolve

and get new things about them. And so I think it's like a partner discovering, staying curious about those things. That that's essentially what like a first date is, and I think you can like, you know, if you're bringing, if you're equally bringing that kind of like curious energy to the experience, it will end up either being like, you will very learn very quickly that,

no, this is not gonna work out, or like, oh, you were, we are curious about each other and want to like, you're actually interested. Interested, and that's how you get ginger, and I think each other and want to like, you're actually interested. Interested and that's how you get ginger's and I think it's really important to like approach it with that kind of energy and open mind and welcome to you always open.

Oh, we just, just do it. What is I fun for the show? You're here now, we gotta get you on the show. I absolutely would love to. Yeah, at the sake of what? Well, you don't want me to get on? No, speaking of you being here,

I have something else I want to talk about, but go ahead and finish my fucking thing. Yeah, finish it in the comments. Before it gets mad at you. I'm going to get mad at you. Sorry, Theo. Jesus Christ. I, the reason I don't like, again,

this is going to become always open. I'm going to say some stuff. I don't want you to refute it. This is my inner monologue and something that I'm working on. I already get it. But I'm like a bigger guy and also I've got like other insecurities about myself. Online dating really, really only works if you're a super attractive

person. Like it's one of those things where the apps make it purposefully a little bit harder. Some apps have gotten better at it. I've seen hinge. I know bumbles a little bit different. But also even those, they're very like what does this person look like? And also, I have the advantage now of, I'm in an industry where I'm constantly getting refreshed, very high quality professional photographs of this.

But at a time in my life, I wasn't necessarily the case and my phone camera doesn't do me a lot of favors. So I fucking hate online dating because you basically like, I can't fucking tell anything from your profile. People write the same shit over and over and over and over. And you have the same conversations over and over and over. And you go on a first date and you're like,

wow, I really don't vibe with this person, but I'm afraid to, like, maybe this was a bad first pressure because that's the other thing. Sometimes people are bad at first impressions. I've realized that the only way that I can date people is by meeting people in real life. I'm absolutely. Absolutely.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, because I can't. First of all, I play way better in real life. I think people get to see one. How fucking Paul you are. Because the first thing I have to put in my bio is like six foot five. Because they see me and they go, oh, yeah, but he's tall. Mm-hmm.

We've met six people. I don't know why. My theory is because even if all of this doesn't work out and I completely, oh, yeah, but he's tall. So we've met and said people, I don't know why. My theory is because even if all of this doesn't work out and I completely bottom out, I could probably still play professional NFL football. I got something. Yeah, you always got something. I just love how many permutations and like variables

there are to like communication, especially in a romantic context when it's like, there are some people who I have a great flirty text relationship with, that then you like, me, like then you hang out in person. And it like, it's not cold, but it definitely completely shifts. Why is it like the first dates I went on when I moved to Austin?

What's Trevor? When I moved to Austin, I- He's a flirty textor. He's a great textor. Even better in person. Even better. When I moved to Austin, I- He's a flirty texture. He's a great texture. Even better in person. Even better. But this guy, I went on-

No, I know, I went on- I went on- I went on this day with this one guy who we met online. I think it was match.com because Tinder didn't exist yet. And we like exchanged phone numbers and we were texting for like two weeks before actually meeting up. Amazing chemistry via text. Back and forth.

So it was funny. He was with like, met in person. It was like a cardboard fucking box. That was a conversation I had to be like, so, who was running? Who was running? Who was running? Who are you outsourcing this to? This is your first time.

And it's like, I get it. People are shy and like, you know, maybe in person, they're not as comfortable being themselves as they are behind a screen, bubble-blog. But I'm like, all the energy I was feeling from this, just gone. Nothing in person. Do you think that, like, maybe it's like the,

like, there's a time delay in texting. It's like, he has time to think about it. He has time to think about it and come back as opposed to like, in person person you don't have that buffer It's got a lot more real time. You can truly be the best funniest version of yourself through text. Yeah Yeah, I think Andrew and I have and you do you both do too I'm not but I'm just saying Andrew and I are like stand-up comics writers specifically aimed at comedy professional funny people where Usually the text that I come up with

that's funny and gets a lot, it's still the first thing in my head. So the me texting and me just cutting it up with you is really the same thing. Just because like that's what I just fucking... I did see you have really poor communication today though. Is just what you're gonna get angry about? Oh, with Chris.

You and Chris Demaris, I wanted to fucking shoot myself all day. I texted Blaine at once. Wait, of course you did. The story involves Chris Demaris. It's got him. I texted Blaine at one point and I just wrote, shoot me in the fucking face. So.

What happened? What happened? Well, also, I know this podcast was not the podcast this morning. That's exactly it. Is that the podcast was different this morning. I came in, I'm gonna be real with you. I did want to do the podcast. I live in a house that has nothing in it.

You were very straightforward about this. Yeah, I have a blow up mattress, a laptop, and a Wi-Fi connection. When does your stuff get in here? Like the ninth of the 10th. Oh my God. Everything in his apartment right now is blow up mattress, a laptop, and a Wi-Fi connection. When does your stuff get in here? Like the ninth of the 10th. Oh my God. Everything in his apartment right now is blow up. Yeah, everything is blow up.

Everything is blow up. The only things that I could physically do in my apartment is sleep, jerk off, and eat. That's it. That's all I have going through. How does that change when you get your furniture? Because I have more places to jerk off. More surfaces.

Yeah. There's more places to your con. Emphasis on the common comfortable. Yeah. So I walk in and I go, hey man, I know that you're on the podcast. I'm going to ask you this way. And the communication there was me going,

do you want to do the show? Because yeah. Because if you don't want to do the show, I'm willing to step in. If you do want to do the show, I'm also not going to be mad at you. And it's like, I have no agenda. Yeah, no pressure either way. The entire reason I wanted to do the podcast, it's very fun and I enjoy being here and

you're all my friend, but also straight up, I had nothing to do. I got nothing going on. You want to kill two hours? Yeah, I texted you on Sunday and was like, what do you do? You want to go see a movie and you're like, is there like a reason when I was like, I have nothing to tell you? No, well I just felt bad because I was like, oh, I should have thought like,

yeah, you arrived this weekend. We should have like set aside time to hang out. No, no, no, we can all, that's the nice thing about being here now is that you don't have to think in the limited time space. Sure, just hang out whenever. But I always thought if you were approached this way,

yeah, how would you answer? Hey, do you want to do the podcast tonight? If not, I always try to, if you were approached this way, how would you answer? Hey, do you want to do the podcast tonight? If not, I'm willing to step in. If you do, totally cool. I guess it would depend if I wanted to do the podcast that night. There are some nights where I'm like, you know what, I have some laundry to catch up on

or like some work I want to do tonight. So yeah, go for it, take my spot. Also to be clear, I know that you guys are watching it and none of us, I want to be very clear. All of us want to be here. We're having a good time right now, but you have to remember that like, we all just worked. We just worked a whole day sometimes.

Yeah, there's some people who are not always up to performing after a whole day of work. Yeah, I call them cowards. Yeah, they have a name, they have a name. I call them my ex-husband. Oh, hey. Miller time. Miller time. So the important thing is here, you would think about it,

and you would have an answer. Yes. Are you implying someone in this situation did not have an answer? Well, it can't be me, the question asked her. So yeah. You mean, I want to be honest with you. I was being indecisive about something.

So you cannot answer the question. I don't know how long. Was it like, well, I mean, like, mean like if you like I'm cool being on it But like if you want to be on it then like you were were you there? No, I've just spent so much time around They were having this conversation to my left and I'm just sitting there like oh my god Just someone choose yeah, well like I'm cool doing it like you don't have to if you don't it went how long did it go? It felt like it went on for about three hours. I feel like it went on for a week Hearing every five guys every different version of um

He does that he does that when Mundo left at one point to go do something came back they continued the conversation It still wasn't getting anywhere Mundo left at one point to go do something, came back, they continued the conversation, it still wasn't getting anywhere. Mundo left again. It's like, it came back to conclude the conversation. Chris doing a series of grunts, sons and moons passing. And it's a lot of this. Like he's about to talk and then. It's fun playing D&D with him.

Yeah, speaking of which, you guys are opening up a new campaign. We just started a brand new campaign. This was the compromise. Oh, you were gonna talk about. Yeah, way to peak behind the fucking. I'm letting everyone know the way it works, the way the sausage is made. Yeah, no, I'm a professional and they didn't need to know that.

I want to talk about it anyways. We were going off a millertime. Maybe we're great. We're great. The first episode of Campaign Two of Tels from the Seagull Dragon just came out last week. Yeah. Very different story, but it's going really well.

We've recorded a few episodes now, and we're having so much fun. And I think it's because like having the experience of the first campaign, and knowing what to expect in terms of like, how Micah's writing is and like, what kind of characters we wanted to create based off, like, what we learned from the first campaign, it's really fun. We're having a really good time.

Yeah. If you are somehow living under a fucking rock, felt or real, that might turn into... Really? What was the thought? Baby eagle, baby eagle. Baby eagle. If you are somehow living under a rock tails from a singing dragon is a show that was produced by y'all. It is a actual play

D&D podcast that it has a comedy slant, which is something that I really enjoy about your show is that not only is the writing good, is the story engaging, are there twists where like myself, I got to play a character. It's very important character. Thank you. And it's a father eagle ruined my god damn vocal code by the way because the way I got into the character, oh this is going to suck. I'm sorry to everyone, but it was like

Oh It was like you have to get the rest No boundaries is work To a water I Would do it okay Mines tricks don't work on me only Not a racist movie guys, not a racist movie. I don't know what you're talking about. You have to get you with Worth cameo, this is Japan.

I'd love to, please. And you as well again. I would love to. I literally anytime. Thank you, British accent. What you talking, what a high GSD, the British A.C. It's perfect British accent.

No? I am from streets of London. Yeah. It is not, it is just coincidence they give my character big fucking hours. They can be related to my character. No, you can't. Yeah, from the trap. We, my point of bringing that up though is that like reading the lines,

I hope that Mike has still has the files. I know I had to delete them, but like, there's me reading through the script and real time and doing a line of just like, well, you guys, no shit! That's the fuck, damn, that's good. There's a big twist in it at the end, it's great campaign. I really enjoyed listening to it. I thought it was really well done, but I also thought it was really funny.

There's a lot of moments that are like, laugh out loud funny. Thank you. And so I've always been such a big fan of the show, and I think it's so exciting to see like, what you do under that again. Do you want to, can you tell, because I have been so fucking busy in Swant Moving, I have no idea what's going on with, with anything in the company. I've missed

several meetings. Andrew earlier had to catch me up by a bunch of our meetings that I missed. Well, we only have one episode of the new campaign out and it's like set in a lot more of a, like a gothic horror world, okay? Or it's like classic monsters. Oh, like Frankenstein, gloves, scoops, vampires. Uh, Frankenstein's monster. We actually brought that up. One of the reasons episode. What is that knowledge is knowing that

it's that Frankenstein was the doctor, wisdom is knowing he was the monster, whatever that thing is. Like, yeah, I love Frankenstein. I'd be referred to as Frankenstein's monster's doctor. Actually, Frankenstein's monster was his hubris. So we have a lot more like supernatural characters as well, like vampire, like I think Barbara's character is the one.

I'm playing with the empire. I think John's characters are ghost like stuff like that like a lot more horror stuff. It's really fun to play with because some of the advantages I have is that vampire and tnd I only maintain them if I've had blood that day. And so I'm always looking for ways to try to suck someone's blood. It's a very fun like like, little addition to classic D&D. But, yes. Great. I did a, I was in a sketch group a long time ago.

Oh, we know. Yeah, of course. I can take a look at you. The same, I mean, yeah, fucking, just the same step that energy is the sketch comedy energy. It's like, wafting. I mean, I never did a lot of improv. I just did, just a sketch. But just something, again, I love those things

that just echo in my brain forever. And we did a sketch one time. That was, it was like a Halloween themed sketch. And one of the characters, it keeps guessing people, like keeps insinuating that people, the people around him are monsters. And this is the thing that's gonna echo in my brain as like the DMT hits,

and I leave this mortal coil, is one of my friend Lance, pushes my friend away and goes, get back Dracula, and puts an R at the end of Dracula. Dracula! Get back Dracula, and that is going to play in my brain I don't know I ever I will be alone at night just like going to bed Dracula

We got a bottle way to incorporate that it's up there with wolfman's got nards. Yeah I don't know what the fuck happened, but you went yes the DMT fucking hits and the camera just switched over the fuck happened but you went yes the DMT fucking hits and the camera just switched over to me. Yeah, if you're watching that just watch me go, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, we got it, we got it right now a character in our campaign that Andrew could voice that says Dracula. Yeah, that's so, oh please, please. I didn't have he so fun.

All right, let's get to work on that. All right. We're wrapping up here. Thanks for watching, everybody. We'll be back next week with another episode. Watch the post show if you're a first member, because I got a fun Chris story. Ooh, what a tease.

I'd go listen to the new tales from the stinky dragon, baby. I can't pay one. We're gone. I can't pay two. Love you. Bye. Get the fuck out. आपी बाहीं Do you like apples? Example.

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