Rooster Teeth Podcast - Jon Wants to Touch the Rock - #462

Episode Date: October 17, 2017

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What would you do if you had the freedom to be anyone or to go anywhere without limitations? Start your journey and experience for yourself the feeling of total freedom when you game with Alienware. Alienware is your portal to new worlds where limits don't exist and the only rules are the ones you decide to make. Defy boundaries and start gaming now at Alienware.com. Next-gen gaming is built with Intel Core i9 processors. I'm never on this thing. I don't know how this works. Oh fucking Christ. It's Tyler. Let me say my name. It's Tyler. My name is Maryl. My name is John and I'm Brandon. I did it. You did it. You did it. You did it. We get into it. So I want to let everybody know that this week's podcast is sponsored by me undies nature box and square space.

Me undies nature box and square space. Me undies, nature box and square space. Three of our favorites. Welcome back. Three of our favorites. Yeah. Do we like them more than the other sponsors? I mean, they've been with us for a while, right? That's a thing.

Like, we've thick and thin. We like old people. Old things. What just stopped? No, no, what is it? You stopped it. Tyler's doing his best. Tyler did all of us ruined off of of it. No, I'm not going

to say anything offensive. That's the whole goal of the show. Nothing offensive. I can't help but look at you lately and just wonder how much closer you can look like someone who's prepping to be in a gay porn. I think he looks good. Thank you. That's a compliment. Okay, fair enough. And what would be wrong if I was in a gay pointer? I'm not saying that. You make more money as a man doing gay porn, even if you're not gay, then you would straight porn as a guy. Really?

Yeah, because you're just a fill in if you do straight porn. Nobody, there's not male porn talks about on the male porn industry. On the male porn, they're just, I've never met a male porn star. It's basically like, daff punk, but they're just dicks male porn stars are like Death. Yeah, it doesn't matter about the face. Nobody's looking at that. I tell actually that actually bothers me about male porn stars is that male porn stars get away with their face not being something worth looking at. Yeah way too much. Oh, yeah.

They're biot ugly most of the time. Hey, women can back me up on this. It's like the only people watching straight porn are dudes and they don't care about the guy anyway. Most women watch lesbian porn or you watch gay man on man porn. Why are you even mostly in a marial for that? Because she does. She's the lesbian. What?

Is that an offensive word? You're outing me on the podcast. Can I say that word? I like this. She is a person who likes other women. Is that the- Yes the podcast. Can I say that word? I like this. She is a person who likes other women. Is that the... Yes, that's the answer. Does that mean I'm a lesbian?

Yeah. You're a both-seas. But I will say, I mean, I... Is that the right word? I can't wait till your father, Tyler, and you have to explain things here, and I'll never be a different one. All right, so you put on the record of Daft Punk

and then explain to them what sex is. Yeah, I would actually, I got to specify on my statement is that straight porn is where the guys don't look very good. Gay porn, there's a lot more good looking. Yeah, I can't think of, I can think of two straight porn stars. It's Ron Jeremy and James Dean. There's the only two and they are very different looking. Yeah.

Ron Jeremy is not attractive. Dude. Well, I mean, not attractive. Is it even that massive? I mean, I'm not looking at it. He's a big dick. Is it like, in terms of like, it's like the perfect big dick.

It's not like Jesus Christ, it's way too. That's, that's, that's. Like, he can still put it in stuff. You can put it in stuff. You got to feel bad for guys who have really big dicks. Yeah, like Howard Stern will have like guys on there every day of that. The craziest dick in the world.

And there'd be like, isn't this awesome? He's like, no, I can't put it in anything. You get like, you get me something. I'm gonna try to put it inside and nothing's gonna happen. What do you do with it there? You fucking animals. No, you wouldn't, but that's the only thing you could because they're so big.

You're hurting a woman. Can you do reduction surgery on your dick? Yeah. You donate it if you get it, you're just like, like, where, where, I wouldn't be in it. Where do you donate it, Brandon?

I don't need it. Like to a needy person, you know? Like, you know what? You need more inches? Yeah. Like I just want more dick. You know what I mean? I mean, like I'm not an organ donor,

but someone who needs a body filler or something, just to snuggle with that night. Hold on, you're not an organ donor? I'm not an organ donor. That takes literally two seconds when you get your license to check that box off. I think I've explained on the podcast before, so I won't go into super big detail,

but it's irrational. I acknowledge it. But I know it's an irrational. I'm so paranoid that if I check I'm an organ donor, someone's going to come for me and take me out because they need my organs. I donate blood as often as I possibly can. Also, I have a horrible body.

I guarantee my organs are the worst. No one's ever gonna want these organs. They're functioning so they're a little bit better than someone who isn't functioning. Look, I know I just, I'm just, I would, I can't explain it better than that. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's very selfless. It's I'm a theoretical, yeah, I'm a hypothetical. I'm a hypothetical. I don't remember. I'm a hypothetical organ donor. I don't remember checking the box in mind says I'm an organ donor.

Like I don't remember doing it. I'm like, I must have. See the government checked it for you. I don't mind. I don't mind your organ. Take all of them. Take all of them. Yeah, why do you need them?

You don't need them. Won't you mind? If I want to exist. Well, they're not going to take a break. I know, I know they're not. I know they're not. I know that. That's what's irrational.

I'm telling you, it's an irrational fear. It's not, you know, it's a dumb fear. It's just not based on intelligence, this decision of yours. I mean, I don't think that's crazy to say an irrational fear is also a dumb fear. There's a reason why it's irrational because it doesn't make sense. Yeah, not just dumb.

Well, we're just gonna argue some antics with Tyler, which is my favorite game. Not I don't wanna do that. No, but Tyler, you do look good. Are you doing something different? Just working out, taking lots of drugs, just kidding. You told me you were, um, No, I just, I like to stay active.

Were you were switching gyms recently? Are you were doing something different? No, no, no, I'm, well, I go to this gym called on it, which is like, you know, world renowned for it's like, they have MMA fighters that train their NFL players stuff like that. And I'm not trying to be either one of those. I would like to look to a naked like they do. But no, just like just generally working out, it's fun. It's a creative and stuff like that. But I'm gonna, I think I'm gonna quit and just do training with this personal trainer that I have. Don't let there good enough naked at this point. No, I need to look more good like ESPN bodies naked Yes, honestly think about that time what's the ESPN bodies naked? They take some of the best athletes men and women

And shoot them nude just to kind of like show you how amazing their bodies are. Where are these pictures? They're online. Yeah. It's so hard. You mentioned it. So have you guys seen the Sir Solomon show? No. She did the thing on I think the first episode of her show just about like kind of showing nudity, like non aroused nudity and just being like very up front of it. Like it was just full frontal, non-sensored, flappy dick and boobs.

And I saw it last night, and then today, there was a thing on Huffington Post about somebody trying to kind of do the same thing, except with the male body. It was just like 100 pictures of 100 different men naked, full, like completely naked. And then like the dick just flapping, just free, and not like,

you know, posed, not, you know, like glorified. Like, I don't know if it's, I just like, it's a brain to talk about it. It's like there's an effort to kind of try to normalize dick. Keep penises. Keep talking about it. Yeah, tell me more about that glory dick. I'm saying like it's, and you know, you go through,

you're like, yeah, this is like super silly looking. Like I don't know what the reason why we do it so much, like shock and awe into this. Well, no, it's cause we're Americans. We suck that way because John, you know, you're a big movie goer. We had a show that didn't last about movies. But like, you're actually still there.

I thought it was about sports. No, no, no, fuck sports. I've never felt like when I'm watching a movie and there's nudity in it, you know, in the female form or male, I've never once got a rouse. It's just the art form of it. It's when you go to the scene. Oh, bullshit.

Come on. Yeah, that's a problem. Yeah, I'm gonna get all those movies. No, no, there's a different, no, there's no arouse on that to me. We're gonna have a test. I'm gonna, I'm gonna find some of the best scenes, sex scenes.

I will stand up here. I'm gonna play it. Yeah, that's fine. I will stand up here. We're gonna play it No, I'll stand up here naked and you'll watch me not good Back to be for you first members. Have you seen sex in the sea? Did you mean sex in the city you're saying it wrong? No, all right We'll send it also to see I I watched I went over to Andy's house as we can we watched a few Halloween movies And I had never seen 28 days later. Oh my gosh.

That's great. And yeah, that movie just starts off with Killian Murphy's dick. Yeah, it does. He's just lying there in that hospital bed and they just keep it on there and it's just him just being fully naked, like literally like his breakout role

and his first scene in the movie and really the opening scene other than like the origin of the virus scene. Like and he's just laying there and then he gets up and he's still like getting out of the bed and they don't even like try to try to strategically get rid of the dick later on the scene. It's just there. It's just clapping in the wind. Dick watch watch it. Sarah Silverman. This is like one minute of close up of dude dick. Just there's another place in the internet I can do that if I want to look at what it looks like. Yeah, but the way she contextualizes it makes it. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

Body's beautiful and all shapes and sizes. This is my body beautiful. Like you guys not like, I don't think nudity has to be arousing all the time. Like if you're dating somebody or married to them and you're naked around each other, like what does that matter? Like you hang out naked. Like you're not like constantly aroused by them being nude. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, I think it's true with anything, everything just kind of gets more like casual and casual casual. And I think that's why like pornography is

a billion dollar business because it just tries to find things that aren't casual and that are weird. Like fidget spinner porn. Like fidget spinner porn. Is that really a thing? Oh my God. Yes. No way. Oh yeah. No. There's one there was an ad that I had as a pop-up and it was There was a dildo and it was inside the nice lady and on the edge of it was a fidget spinner spinning Oh my god as it's being inserted into it. That's a mean thing. I think she had some on her nipples. How many effect on her? No, it's just for the shock of it. Is this for the shock of it? Could you put, say, that's the difference point.

Do we have a fidget spinner anywhere? Could you put your self through a fidget spinner? No, it was probably a good modified. What do you mean put yourself through a fidget spinner? Like, could you put, they're not holes in them. Get there. They're all in. The middle has a little hole. The middle ends are tiny, little hole. Yeah. Well, they're all little holes. Yeah,. The middle ends at tiny little hole. Yeah. Well, they're all little holes.

Yeah. Motivated. It's a pretty small hole. They're all like little like ball bearings. You see the story of the guy who, I guess, he was, you couldn't find his cock ring or something like that. There's no cock rings like elastic thing that you put around your penis to keep it react whatever.

So he uses wedding ring. What? But he got like, I guess, more and more erect and to the point of it was impossible for it like the blood to go away. And then it just kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger. And so he went to the ER and like, he took his pants off and he just had this like giant swollen blue penis tip

through a ring. I'm not making this up, I swear to God. There's no way. Yeah, no, there's pictures of it. Like I don't know if they filed like this in a medical study or journal or something like that. Mary loves this flat or phone. Yeah, look at that shit up.

Please look this way. There's no way any man could put his dick through a wedding ring. No way. Here, let me see, I'm probably finally. Like that, the wedding ring is so small, there's no way any man could put his dick through a wedding ring. Here, let me see. I'm probably finding out. The wedding ring is so small. There's no way. There's no way possible.

But if it's flaccid, maybe he put it in there. Flaccid in a big ring. Some rings are big. Not big enough to put your dick in. We're about like a ring on Adam Ellis's fingers. He does have big, maybe fingers. Get those fingers over here. Let me see.

Let me see. I don't know. Is your fingers the size of my flasadick. There's no way you can do that. I don't understand the logic because even if you could slip it in there, like a little mouse going under a door and you lubed yourself up to put yourself in the ring, you know how big you would get. How would that work out? It's not a smart call. No. I mean, you're desperate, man. I think that's why a lot of people like, why's a beautiful thing. You're desperate, man. I think that's why that's a lot of people right there

Why is it parents are just finding pictures, but they're Why say I don't want to see I don't want to see I can't look this pass this around Pass it over pass it over. No look at it. I don't have to look at it. Just make sure it doesn't fall not looking at it It's where we're fine. Like there's nothing more terrifying than like having to go to the emergency room because something weird sexually happened. Oh my god It is so blue. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm just not okay with like a fucking smurf. How did they get it up? Can we I don't know they like acupuncture They have to draw blood

Can we move the subject to something else? Can we talk about this related politics or something? I gotta zoom in. How do I I can we can we change the subject to something else? Can we talk about Paul's related politics or something? Hold on, I gotta zoom in. How do I? Can we change the subject? Am I allowed to change? Can we, I'm more than happy to talk about penises for forever, but I think we've been very penis-heavy in the beginning of this project.

Fair enough. Balance it out. We'll come back at the end of the show. Hey, do you know what else I watched for the first time this weekend? Would you say, I'd never seen Halloween. The original one. That's like one of, that is.

With Michael Myers. With Michael Myers things. That's like one of it's, that is. It's like a Michael Myers thing. It's John Carpenter's first film. It's a terrible movie. Why would you show me that? It is a movie. Don't put it in front of the camera. Yeah. It is a movie that does not hold up.

It is horrible. Oh, man, none of those horror movies are that. You know what, John? I love you. But with all due respect, you're a fucking idiot. Halloween is the all-time classic horror movie. God, it's bad. No, it's terrible.

It's not. The acting is terrible. You're not asking for good acting in a horror film? Yeah, it happens. Jamie Likurd has got her start there. Yeah, she got her start. She's probably the best of the acting. Arguing over John.

Jamie Likurd. It's super slow nothing happened and I'm thinking to thin me I'm a crash in a classic now. I'm not being I'm like hell right guys Don't hold up a lot of old movies don't hold up and Halloween does not even remotely hold up You need to watch it and appreciate what it did just like citizen kangus citizen came fuck sucks appreciate what it did just like citizen Kanga citizen came fuck sucks. God fuckers. The movie's so fucking overrated.

We won't get it overrated. I will say overrated, but it's not, it doesn't. Just not just a bad movie that overrated. It says in case overrated. It is not a good movie. It's overrated because you're like, I don't see what the big deal is because this is the last thing I'll say because it'll be a really boring argument.

The things that they did in there became such a big hallmark of all movies, it seems routine. Yes, I know. And I'm gonna end that, because that's gonna be a boring topic for you. But Halloween's not good. All right, well, if you don't like Halloween, what else do you like that?

Well, what's so great? Like what's a great old horror movie then? Old horror movie? I don't know. I'm kind of going through, I didn't get into horror movies until later on life because that was a fragile little boy who scared of stuff. You still are. I am. No, I'm kind of going through, I didn't get into horror movies until later on in life, because that was a fragile little boy who scared it stuff.

You still are. I am. But I actually like horror movies, and through this now, I've been going back and watching stuff, but like I actually have, I've never seen Friday the 13th. Have you seen how Razor wanted to? Nope.

Oh, you should absolutely check. Yeah, I just haven't seen, but I love watching like Captain in the Woods and it follows and zombie movies in general. They're Captain in the Woods is awesome. Captain in the Woods is a very big one. I'll watch it with your in-line. I've never seen scream.

I've never seen scream, don't care. Not scream one, two, three, four, or five. Not seen in those. So that's why I liked Halloween so much just because screened like it was one of the characters and there was like a human behind that. Michael Myers is just like not human. He's just pure evil.

Like yes, I didn't understand like now. He doesn't move fast, he's always gonna come for you. He, to me, represent a death. That movie freaked me out so much when I was a kid that I used to keep a trash can by my door so that if Michael Myers came in, it would fall down and I'd at least have a second to run out of the house.

Yeah, but I think- I did that for like a fucking year. I think that's the case with a lot of them old horror movies. Like it's however my went, went back and rewatched the old it when the new one came out and they were like, oh, the old it's not really good. But as a kid, I remember seeing that, or at least seeing scenes of it and that kind of thing,

and being frightened is all hell, but then you go rewatch, like this is not scary of it, and that can be being frightened as all hell, but then you go where we watch it's like, this is not scary at all, and it's actually cheesy and bad. Folds the TV movie, give it a break. But it's what we remember it being, or all we had to be able to contextualize it back in the day, but now I think we have new skills and how things can be made to be suspenseful or thrilling.

Like, it comes at night, is just like an hour and 45 minutes of suspension. Like it doesn't let go of you the entire movie. I still don't even know what it's about, but it scared the shit out of me. Yeah, that's also something about it, is that you don't get to have the answers in the end. It doesn't matter yet.

I don't know, there's something about like 1980s, Polaroid picture-esque films that scare me. Things in HD don't scare me. Like old shag carpet and like it's dark and there's a clown in the background, that's terrifying to me. That's basically like John Wayne Gacy's house. But Halloween's not that.

Like I like modern zombie, like a train to Busan. That's a good zombie. I wanted to see that so bad. Girl with all the gifts, another good zombie film. Not so scary. Train to Busan's a little zombie. I wanted to see that so bad. Girl with all the gifts. Another good zombie film. Not so scary. Train to be sounds a little bit more scary. I mean, it's tough because you're picking a genre that does not age well.

Any movie. Like, we would like horror movie. Like, shiny. The shining still holds to the touch. Shining holds up. My favorite movie. Shining holds up. That one's still terrifying.

Yeah, that's a terrifying movie. That's seen with the dog, the furry thing. I still don't know what's going on in that scene, spoiler. If you've never seen the shining, there's a scene at the end where what's her face is running through the hotel and she passes by a room and there's a dude in a tuxedo and then there's like a man dressed in a weird dog pig outfit. Yeah. Looking at like she, it's going to blow the guy. Yeah. You see that when you're 10 years old and you don't understand that, that really scars you emotionally for a very long time.

What movie scarred you emotionally when you were younger? Like what movies really like define things for you? Oh man, Beetlejuice gave me nightmares for years. Yeah. Like I would be, it was the same nightmare every single time. Like I was running and Beetlejuice was like chasing me and I wind up in the same nightmare every single time. I was running and Beetlejuice was chasing me and I wind up in the same place. Like I think my daycare.

And I go and I hide under the table and I'm like, everybody don't tell them where I'm at. And I go there and I'm just waiting. And then a minute later, there's a tablecloth and it comes up and then like he's just staring there in the face and I wake up like every time. That's the fun of you. And I mean, I could feel it.

It's like a scary movie. It's just, yeah, that's a comedy in reality. Yeah. Yeah, I can understand that some of that imagery as a kid would really be scary. I think that's what lies as a kid's imagery, even if you didn't get the story. I still can't watch the Wizard of Oz. I think it's terrifying. even if you didn't get the story. I still can't watch the Wizard of Oz. I think it's terrifying. The Wizard of Oz and the original

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. So did you guys know that Patrick put out a poll to everybody watching in the live stream right now? Is John Wright? Does the original Halloween movie suck? There's a lot of people agree with me. Four minutes. Oh, that's awesome.

That's a very opinionated way of putting it. It like does the movie suck. A lot of people say it doesn't suck. I would say it's just a, it's, I mean, it sucks in the sense that it's a, it's a poorly crafted film. Like the concept is calling you out, Patrick. That's a fucking shitty poll.

Damn, John Patrick is trying to do something nice. It's a pretty, Thank you. Thank you You guys who couldn't hear you said that's a pretty shitty time you watch that movie It's not good. It's not good. It like makes no sense and it's shot terribly It's got the pacing of a well here You know what you could call the citizen cane of horror movies because it birthed everything Every time I'm not I'm not gonna follow that mark. It was a low budget film.

I'm not denouncing what it did for the genre. And what people, and that there has to be stepping stones for things to get better. Yeah, well, people like to, because they're still making fucking sequels, and making a new one with Dan McBride and Jamie Lee Curtis to go fuck yourself. Oh my God.

I'm so happy you like this movie so much. Because it's Halloween, just being the spirit of Halloween, it's a great movie. I love Halloween movies. And I remember for Christmas, it's a great movie. But I'm with Mary on the this movie so much because it's Halloween just being the spirit of Halloween It's a great I love how it movies and I remember for Christmas a great movie But I'm with Mary on the Wizard of Oz though like the monkeys Our terrifying specifically what part of Wizard of Oz freaks you out. Oh God all of it all of it I can't Yeah, that dog especially um well, I'm trying to think of like, I don't think I've ever actually got through this entire...

Like the flying monkey. The flying monkeys freak me out. It's more so Charlie and the chocolate factory too. Is that the original? Oh, because the boat scene, Charlie and chocolate factory. Yeah, chocolate factory. He's got some...

Flying monkeys. No wait, the flying monkeys was just, was the boss, the oompa oompa don't like those either. Do you know what actually, it wasn't Wizard of Oz that scared me. It was the Wiz that scared me. I was about that. But specific scene, a specific scene,

when they're in the subway and the columns and the trash cans start chasing them and like eating them. Like I think even trash cans get Michael Jackson's arms inside them, they're like the teeth and like tearing turning them apart and the pillars of the subway like separate and start chasing them That freaked me out as a kid that got me for the rest of it was great. I love I love like I love the whiz But that part always scary that and the there was there I remember there being some imagery from the return to Oz that even was a little bit scary the The Jim Henson, you know, the Return to Oz? The Return to Oz, those movies.

Oh, that was a good movie. The Wiz level good? Or, I actually don't know, I'd have to go right back and rewatch it, because this is coming from John Child Memory. I love this, the Return of Oz was a better movie than Halloween. I didn't say that.

You just did. No, I literally just said it, didn't say that. Right, there's, yes you did. All right, all right. I'll let me see this real quick. Okay, I literally just said it didn't say that. Right, there's yes you did. All right. All right. Let me see this real quick. Okay, go for it. This episode of the Receive Podcast is brought to you

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the feeling of total freedom when you game with Alienware. Alienware is your portal to new worlds where limits don't exist and the only rules are the ones you decide to make. The five boundaries and start gaming now at alienware.com. Next-gen gaming is built with Intel Core i9 processors. I like listening to Brandon say the word template.

Template? No, I mean, like you think template and you like, you just imagine it's just like this bare bones crappy thing. Everybody's gonna know that you use template, but they're actually really nice. Like you go in there and it doesn't require that much work to customize it enough where people can't tell that you used some like a base to jump off from.

And we've used it before, yeah, a lot of times. It's great for a career website, like portfolio website. Best part of Squarespace. Signed people come and ask you if you can design a website for them, you just tell them, go do Squarespace. And they can make a nice little website. And not bother you when you're like a designer. You should read the ad, put that at the end.

No, it's okay. That's a, they get it. It's a nice kicker. Oh man. So you guys were at ACL this last weekend, right? We went, not this past weekend, but the weekend before. Oh, how do you have the energy for that? I'm like, I just can't.

I don't, not anymore, not anymore. So what do you do if you do you have the energy for that? I just can't. I don't, not anymore. Not anymore. So what do you do if you don't have the energy? I leave early. I go home. If you get a weekend pass, I don't know if you did this, but usually people say,

ah, you're wasting money. It's just more convenient than getting a day to day, but I'll go Friday, usually get real fucked up. I'll skip Saturday and then I'll go back on Sunday. And that's what I did this year. Yeah. I went all three days, but it's just gotten to the point now.

I've been going for seven years, like since I moved here. And this was probably the nicest time that I had, like I had access to a nice lounge. And like anytime I wasn't watching the show, I could go and sit in the shade and like, you know, had free drinks and whatnot. But oh my God, it was just, it's just too much.

Too many people. Yeah. I don't think I can do that. That's to me people. You would have had a panic attack. I followed the only person I really wanted to see was Jay-Z. So I was heading towards his crowd. I was on Friday night.

And there was a security guard who was like bee lining into the crowd. Yeah. So I was drunk and like, I'm like, I'm gonna go with him. And so I went with him and grabbed onto him and just told people as I was passing by, I'm with him. I'm with him.

Sorry, I have to go with him. Yeah. I'm a... Did he not, if you grabbed him, did he not feel it? I didn't feel it. And so that dude, he went like towards the front of the stage and he wasn't even going to an emergency and he was like, on his walkie the whole time,

he was just going there to meet a woman. Yeah, in the way. So he gets to the front and he just hangs out with his girl and I'm like, you got to be kidding me, but then I'm doing bad shit too, you know, but you basically just rode his way and I could hit Jay Z with a rock and that concert was awesome. Really? Well, I guess it's a different experience because we were in the back and I was just like, this is just boring, but I also was hoping the whole time he'd bring out.

He also like, this is a, this is a crazy thing. He did not bring out beyond say, but he did start Moshpits. Yeah, I saw that. Which is crazy. So like during the point in the concert, Jay-Z was like, all right, you guys right there, there and there, he's like, make a circle, clear out.

So he had people clear out and then he's like, literally like go Moshpits. And then these are already caught in one, which was insane. I had to save his tiny little girl. And got you a backpack on because she was gonna get trampled. She was like five one. And I flipped her out, gave her back to her boyfriend. They wanted to sleep with me afterwards.

I was like, no, thank you. You said no, thank you. I was too tired. I'm just kidding. They didn't ask. Why didn't ask if they wanted to? If you got asked by a good enough looking couple, would you partake?

You've done it. No. No, you haven't done it. I don't know. You wouldn't say yes. No, I'm asking if he would say yes. I'd say yes in a heartbeat. Oh, no way.

It's a pen. We were talking about something earlier. As soon as I saw that Kit Harrington and Rose Leslie were engaged, I was like, I wanna be their pool boy, just toy. Like, that's the dream. And just live with them. They can give me a little room. And they can do whatever they want.

And that's just that's the dream. So you would voluntarily sign up to be their sex slave. Yes. See, that's different. Cause then it's like, I feel like you understand it's a long-term thing. If it was just like, do you wanna go do it right now? I'd be like, it's too much pressure.

Yeah. What if I just like go and just- What if they simplify the whole thing? You come over and we'll take care of everything. What does that mean? I don't know. You don't even have to like instigate anything. You walk in, they're already naked.

They get you naked. You just have to lay there. Well, okay. Well, what are their, what are their intentions? Get herring things sucking on your nipples, how do you look at? Well, that is the thing, I think you kind of have to roll with it. I am a straight man, but if I went to go have sex with a couple

and other stuff happened in the moment, I think I'd probably roll with it, depending upon what it was, but I might just roll with it. What I'm trying to say is like, if the dude was doing stuff to me, like if he was, you know, performing kind of lingus on me, I'd be like, all right, whatever, close my eyes.

Is it kind of like kind of lingus? Stop, do you have a vagina? I guess not, you know, it's a, the phallacio, excuse me, because I'm doing the kind of lingus with my wife. What I'm saying is like, if he was doing that to me I closed my eyes. That's not gay. It's fine. And so Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, and it's cool. I've got like a big let's never huge beard. Okay, wait

It's it's I don't know how that would feel. It is gay and it's fine. You don't say it's not gay and it's fine It's both fine. Yes. I'm sorry I hate to fucking offend anybody. I said I wasn't going through that apologize. I hate to fucking offend people. Thank you for clarifying. But yeah, I probably fucked the dude and his wife. In the same room. Nobody's gonna know. We're gonna know. We're gonna know for sure. I know. I ask for pictures. Yeah. That'd be fun. So if you've you're making out with this wife for this girl, and then all of a sudden you feel a little tickle

on your little Tyler, not your little Tyler. I'm already there. I'm already there. You the implication is already there. So you just be eyes closed the entire time. Yeah, eyes closed. That's in not seeing not seeing. I'd be okay with it. I mean as long as I get to do stuff with the wife that I'm fine, okay, because that's my bread What if what if it's the hottest hottest most attractive person woman you've ever ever seen ever been with and she's like I just want to sit here and watch you to go at it If I can jockey in on the backside that's fine, okay, but Your phrasing is the best thing in the world. I don't know. I think it'd be cool either way.

How's your hand is not going forward though? Like we'd be like, well, okay. Well, then it's like you have to do the schedule or an expectation. There'd have to be, I imagine in those situations that there are kind of rules. Like if it's an impulsive spur of the moment thing, I think you just kind of go with whatever.

But if it's kind of like a set up thing like, hey, you're gonna come have fun with this. I'm sure you'd talk about beforehand. Here's the contract disclaimer, put an emergency contact. In case anything goes wrong. Safety, I put my mom, that's just what I put on every single one of them. I'd pick you up. You can put me as your emergency contact.

All right. I'd come pick you up at your threesome. What were we talking about? I'm saying, ACL, I'm sorry. I'm not ACL. And somehow I turned it into a three-some conversation. I just didn't do ACL. I just can't anymore.

But same. Paula, was this Instagram account here in Austin that just has like just random shit that goes on in town and post something? And it posted a notice and it was just like a really shitty graphic with just text and it was only up for like two minutes but it was a band crystal. Crystal castles? Crystal castles, like a secret concert in an hour. And it went up and down and she was like,

oh my God, we have to go, I'm so obsessed. I love this band, I'm like, they're freaky. Yeah, like I explain freaky. So Crystal castles is like a, I mean, they're like a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a,

a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a not in corn got together and then tried to make like, dancing music. Okay. And like the fans called it EDM. Still tend to look a little like grungy. Yeah, and I mean, I like their music a lot, but like, we saw them live during ACL. And I looked over at my girlfriend and I was like,

what the fuck are we watching like now? So like their performances, we were. Yeah, both of them had all three of them. It's like the female singer, I guess like a DJ, slash producer, and then a drummer. And they all had like, Panny Hoat, like, you know, like black like stockings on their heads and like different things cut out of them and like eye holes and whatnot. And we could not tell if the, because there used to be, it was a girl, like the producer,

a guy and a girl. And then she left the band. And so we couldn't tell if like, it was, turns out it was another girl that just replaced her. But it was some interesting shit. Yeah, so Paula was like so into this band like when she was growing up. So she would be in her own. Oh, they've been in her own for a while. So we don't know the venue, never heard of it and we just see the address.

So we go to the address and And it's in like a really random, like kind of industrial part of town. Um, you know, it's like not like, you know, where you would associate like music venues in the core part of the city. And there's no sign for a venue. It's just a very creepy, dark furniture store. And not like some glamorous new age furniture. Like this looks like it's been here for like 60 years, like this is warehouse and we're like, this can't be right. And we get out and we're like, this just doesn't make any sense. We kind of hear some music, like there could be a DJ around.

And then we see like these grungy, some like grungy young people, you're gonna mess. Walk by and go in the back of the warehouse. I'm like, well, I mean, either they're here for furniture or maybe we're in the right place. So we follow them and we go and this is where the concert's gonna be at. And it's like $10 cover.

So we pay and we're waiting. And then about 20 minutes later, the guy comes up. I guess he says to the owner that the police came and shut down the event. So the concert's not gonna happen and we can get half of our money back but everybody just needs to go. And we're like, that's kind of weird.

And a bit of a bummer. So we like, we left and then we go back to our car and we're like, what if this is a fake out? What if this is the coolest thing ever? And like, this is what young people do now. Like, they have these like, the shows and they psych people out and they only want the hardcore people here.

So we're like, we can't lose this opportunity. So we turn around, we go back and everyone's gone, but the organizers and they're just looking at us like these two like awkward human beings. like, what do you, we just told you like this thing's over and like get out and so we just left and felt old and pathetic. To me, that sounds more like a really good way

to get people to give you money, not do a concert and just send them home. Yeah, it sounded like a scam after the end of it. That happens a lot doing South Buy. Frank Ocean was a rumor to play this past South Buy and it was like Frank Ocean, this address, this time at like 2 a.m., and there was just people lined up

at this completely empty building, and no one showed up. And no one. Interesting. Yeah, and they were like, you could have half your money back, but we even didn't ask for that, because I felt awkward or weird.

What's gonna say, you should never throw away money, but if you've already paid 10 bucks, I wanna just maybe, I wouldn't be able to add it with the money back. I don't know. I'd be, yeah, I'd be too awkward and anxious. I went to Hall of Foods the other day,

and I don't normally go there for, where you went to where? I did say that weird didn't it? Yeah, what the, I'm gonna take another stab of that. Went to Whole Foods. Whole Foods. There we go.

I went to Whole Foods and it got me some food. Now I went there and I got a few groceries and I was like, I need chicken. I need chicken. And I hadn't gotten, got meat at Whole Foods in like forever or ever. And I walked up to the counter and before I was even able to look at like what was available in prices

and stuff, the guy, the butcher, was like, what can I get for you? And I said, I need chicken, I looked down, I was standing right in front of the organic chicken, and it was like $16 a pound, and but I was already there, and I was like, I need chicken, I need that chicken, and he's like, cool, how much do you need?

And I was like, I'll take a pound and a half, and I don't even know how much that is. I don't even know how much a pound and a half of chicken is, and I was like, I'll take a pound and a half. And I don't even know how much that is. I don't even know how much a pound and a half of chicken is. And I was like, that sounds about how much I can afford right now. And then even like, actually, as soon as he asked me since I was standing in front of the organic chicken, I saw really quickly to the right of me down the out was the regular chicken, you know, the bad chicken. The one's been like, slapped while it's been alive or something.

And it was like 699 a pound. But my social awkwardness didn't allow me cause I was standing in front of the organic, you know, truth chicken that I had to get that. And so he gave me my overly expensive chicken and I paid for it and I left. And I think it was like two meals worth of chicken that I spent like 20 bucks.

We're about being judged. You're like, I want the most unhealthy. Like instead of just going like, you know what? No, I don't need it or even like, I want the non organic stuff over there. Like I just couldn't. And so I had to just take my, you know, my punishment and go home with it.

But that's me. That's me in an environment like that. I couldn't go to someone be like, hey, I'd like my money back. You guys didn't put a constant. I would just be like, all right, I lost 10 bucks. One time I wasn't paying attention and after I paid for my fast food,

I got my card back and I left and I forgot my food. And I didn't get home. I just got far enough out where someone took my place and I was like, I can't go back. I can't go back and say I forgot my food. I just went home. Yeah. I mean, there's probably a degree of monetary loss

that is okay in my brain. Yeah. Like $20 of chicken, albeit not something I should be spending for two meals of chicken considering how much food I eat, it's not some like sustain, but it's not somewhere I'm like, I really should get that money back or should not have done this. But if someone, I lost a good enough money, I guess I get over it. Yeah, dude, I read about something horribly awkward.

So there was a airline, I think it was Air Asia. Yeah. They had an incident where the plane depressurized. So the oxygen mask came in. So the pilots had to, they had a good or lower altitude. Because, you know, the planes too high, people could fly out of the plane if they lose the pressure seal. So they start descending very rapidly.

And apparently the flight attendants, I guess they did say everybody's strapping, or brace, but they were like screaming their fucking heads off. It's not good. And like just going crazy, according to some of the passengers. So then, you know, um, wasn't it like a 20,000 foot? Yeah, they went from like, I think 40 to 20,

or 30 to 10, or something like that. So by the end of the drop, everything kind of like, you know, just calms down. And then like all the passengers are just looking at the flight attendants who was just like screaming and like freaking the fuck out. Like, why did you do that? Yeah, you're here to make us feel better.

Yeah, I have a question. I think I'm gonna talk about this before. I can remember, like most things, but, if your plane's going down, you know, you have some time before impact when you're gonna die. In the most part, let's say you're conscious of everything else like that. What song are you listening to if you can listen to one more song? Ooh before you die Probably a really bad song cuz I have bad taste in music. Would it be free falling?

That's who soon Stacy's mom what and always makes me happy I would have thought of. That's your final answer. Stacy, you're dying. And that's what you're listening to. Nah, that's what you want. And she's on, you're what you've waited for for the sale.

It's a fun song. And it's like, what's their name? Falling for soup or something? No, falling for soup is, um, the past is their name. Is it Stacy's one? No. I'm not going to go on Google on that one,

because I don't think John, like what, what, I don't know all I can think it's so hard on that. It's a hard question. It's a hard question. There's I mean, infinite songs. I listen to mostly just wine. Fountains of Wayne. I thought there's a W in there. I had that. I listen to mostly just whiny singer songwriter stuff, and so it'd be something like, sappy and sad like that, like something from Ed Sheeran or something. You don't know you're gonna die though. You don't have to make it super depressing.

No, I'm sorry, you know you're gonna die. You know you're gonna die, you know you're gonna die. I mean, if you, the scenario is you know you're gonna die. You don't know you're gonna die though on a plane. Would you go along with the fucking hypothetical? Play in a space. It's a hypothetical game. This is supposed to be fun and you're dragging it down yes and

okay what do you mean he said stacey's mom that's fun he did and I'm trying to say we don't know you're gonna die okay you're gonna die okay you are gonna die see I get I get your point I get your point you're gonna die no matter what last thing stacey's mom theme song to duck tails that's good so it's what you would want to hear like your head not like a fucking your head. The thing that would pop in my head. No. You're gonna die.

You're gonna die. You're gonna die. You're gonna die. You're gonna die. You're gonna get stuck. You're gonna get stuck. You're gonna get your balls hit by somebody. What?

No. Right? You're gonna die. So what does it matter? You still don't want to get your balls hit So you don't want to get a song stuck in your head. Even though you're gonna die how I don't even know where to start to unpack what you just know I completely make sense Even though you're gonna die doesn't mean you want something unpleasant to happen to you

You say ductilist theme songs unpleasant. I'm just saying if you get stuck in your head and you're like, ah, I can't get that. For how long? Two up minutes, not even minutes. You have one song, the length of one song, give it like three to four minutes. So no, like, steer way to heaven. No, there's a way to heaven. It would be a good song though, just realize that. That'd be great.

The ducktail song? The steering to heaven. Singing in the rain, how about that? Is that better? It's better or worse, your song, dude. That'd be great. The Dark Shell song. The story that happened. Singing in the rain. How about that? Is that better? Better or worse, your song, dude. You have to be out. I can't help that.

I have to approve it. So you're listening to Stacey's mom and somebody sitting you in the balls. That's how you're going out. No, I don't want to. You are going to. In this scenario, you were dying. Hey, Maryl, what's your song?

I was thinking I would hope something calming like Anya would come on. Ooh. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, I was thinking I would hope something calming like Anya would come on Wait, let's get free falling. It was the literal like let the bodies I'd like to be more intuitive. It was that I was speaking of free falling though and going back to ACL Did you see I, I think it was sad. Maybe maybe we wouldn't have seen it, but they played Tom Petty's free falling on all the screens because there wasn't a concert at that time. And they had skydivers come out and jump into it. I should have gone Saturday. That's bad ass.

They were doing tricks and stuff. That's super cool. It was really nice because people were singing along and then these people were literally free-fallen I live seven hard times with this mic Perfect wait have a question and ask the question talking about hypotheticals This is a question that there's what it's what it's had a question that the live action guys have asked me on different shoots and stuff One of them is if you could have a business on the moon, what would it be? Moonshoes, easy. People need shoes. Tec begins the rocks.

Moonshoes. Yeah. No, no, think about it. I'm trying. I'm really trying, Brandon. I'm trying to get there. They can't bring infinite shoes with them to the moon. You got like two pairs of shoes, man. I'm trying to get there. They can't bring infinite shoes with them to the moon. You got like two pairs of shoes, Matt.

So where, how are you making these shoes? I don't know, I have a business. I'm sure there's something. You're importing them from here. You're so quick to that. I would have a movie theater. A movie theater. Watching a movie on the moon.

Like a drive-in. If you had a drive-in, you had like the, you know, the earth in the background, and that was your view, like a driving. If you had a driving, you had like the, you know, the earth in the background, that was your view, like that'd be cool. Well, I guess if you have to have a driving, I'm gonna make in moon cars. Yeah, you make the moon cars, and I'll make a car. You know how, but to get into the car, to walk your car,

you can't just walk in your bare feet. You got a moon shoe, man. You got a good moon shoe. This episode of the RT podcast is brought to you by Moon Shoes. The driving theater would only play like stuff like, they would actually just play Rocket Man, Disney's Rocket Man over and over again. That's the only movie we'd ever play.

Actually, they go to Mars and that movie. Moon Shoes. We'd watch Walls and Grommet. What would you need on the moon? Food and air. I don't know. Besides the necessities, I mean, like, what would- Entertainment.

Oh, I'm trying to think of like what brought necessities would be on the moon. A brothel. Yeah. You got a moon fuck. I don't know. How does fucking have- Does anybody fucked in space?

Oh. You know the International Space Station is just a orgy fact. Yeah, but- It's gotta be. I don't know. I'm sure the Russians have. Why the Russians? I could see that, like, I could see NASA having a harder time.

We don't get to just say everything matter of fact. I'm in the Russian. I could see how NASA would have a harder time because I feel like they have to log everything. I feel like with a mirror, they just threw guys in there and said, all right, fucking see you in two years. A hundred percent NASA wanted to know how zero gravity affects everything.

Would have even asked if someone would fuck. At the very least, they would have wanted to know what are the effects, like for a scientific... How do you ejaculate? What does the ejaculate different? Yeah, I'm saying if, but then I wouldn't that study, wouldn't we know about it? Does it float around in the vagina if it's...

Is it all public? I would think so. That's the one they hide, they hide that one study. They didn't go over that one. I went to visit the NASA Space Center when I was a kid. Because they talked about how to pee, they didn't. They had to have, it's there, there's people of different genders. Oh, but it's the Russians didn't. They had to have. It's there. There's there's people of different genders. Oh, but it's the Russians for sure. Not the hundreds of other

countries that have gone out. Just the Russians have fucked. What's the other countries have gone out, man? The space station tons of countries have been up there. There have been astronauts from the right. Why it's called the international space. There's been tons of people from tons of different countries. Hundreds of countries. I'm talking about like maybe 10 other countries have had astronauts that have gone there.

All right, what's the line? I'm going 50. A lot of countries have contributed money to it. How many countries? 50 countries from different nations. Wait, um, Merrill, what's your business? Ooh, I should have thought about it while you guys were arguing.

Seven countries have had people like oh god damn it Brandon what? What? What? What did you say you said moon? He's making moon cars. Moon cars. I've got a driving theater.

We got moon shoes. What's what's what's you contributing to our economy? We are moon economy. I have to be food. What kind of food? Mmm. Talkos for sure moon tacos. They're moon pizza.

Moon pizza. Moon. Say moon pizza. Moon pizza. Moon pizza. Or coffee. Ooh. Coffee shop, never mind. I like, I like, oh. So they've seen the country.

16 countries. Hundreds. You said seven. Closer than fucking hundreds. You fucking act like there's only been three countries up there. That's so closer. Yeah. They'll close it a 16 is a lot of countries

I didn't say hundreds what's what was the other you said there was multiple hypotheticals Okay, so that's the first one to get you kind of we have our our colony figured out We have this is so this actually has nothing to do. It's just to get you It's kind of like a brain exercise. And these are all drew sapling questions that he's asked me. I like them. So the next one is if you could shit out, if the only thing you shit out was chocolate chip cookies,

would you eat them? There's four parts of this question. Perfectly edible. Perfectly edible. It looks like a cookie, smells like a cookie, tastes like a cookie. But I know it came out of my ass. You know it came out of your ass.

It's, no, I don't need dessert. No, because it's, there's just the opportunity to get other cookies is too easy otherwise. Why would I want that connotation in my mind? It's like the best cookie though. Like John's shit cookies are like, you can't get any better than that. Yeah, they are.

Now Mrs. Fields, not to streets, none of those. So the best cookie I've ever had in my life comes out of my ass. And you just shit cookies. Would it make up for the fact that I don't, I'm not an organ donor if I like to shit for other people? Well, there's some other parts of that question.

Nope, I, maybe. I think if that was the descriptor was the best chock chip cookie cookie ever. I love chocolate chip cookies so much. I don't think I don't think I know you're like your favorite cookie, right? Chocolate chip cookies. Chocolate chip cookies. Maybe I have more questions. I have a hypothetical. Wait, I got one about I got one more. Okay, wait, let me finish. Kiss me. Yeah. Give me a kiss on Daddy's cheek. Don't say that. Okay, so if you should, okay. Would you share them?

Oh yeah, 100%. And would you tell her that? No. Who would you ever tell her? No, I'd give one to Tyler and Hart. No, I wouldn't share. I would sell them. You would sell your food.

On the moon. No, I would sell my ass cookies. Okay. I don't know. And what would you call them? Butt munchers. Co-keys. It's trying to work my last name in there.

Co-co-co-keys. Co-co-keys. Co-co-keys. Co-co-keys. Co-co-keys. I can't say it. I have the last question, which I think you would all say no, too, is what do you eat someone else's shit cookie?

Oh, yeah. I said yes. I would eat my own cookie. If I was starting, I think like people would you eat someone else's shit cookie? Oh, yeah. I said yes, I would eat my own. If I was starving. Before I like, I think like people would appreciate it. Like I would, I wouldn't lie. I tell them where it came from. But if you okay. But I would share it with everybody.

I'd be like, you know, other Teresa. Here's this chocolate chip cookie. You try it and you eat it and you say, that's the best chocolate chip cookie I've ever had. And I say, oh, I shit it out. Would you eat another one? Yeah, I think you're a pretty clean person. I think you said, I appreciate that.

Yeah, but it would depend on the person. There's people that I don't want to even touch. So I wouldn't eat a cookie that came out of their ass. Brendan, I've touched you, okay? Yeah, you wouldn't want to eat, you know. You're right, I actually probably wouldn't eat a cookie to your ass. Out of all the people here on this set,

you'd be the last one. I mean, I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just not getting. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Rank us. If Marylyn and I were holding cookies in front of who do you take first? You're my best friend. I don't know if I want stuff out of your butt. You could rather just stuff out of John's butt.

He's awesome, my best friend. Mm-hmm. Fuck. Jesus, I'm like, poor Brandon. Some dude, yeah. You got to pick. Can you cookie into my mouth, the ones the best friends, but me?

I just drop it out of her ass. Yeah, just y'all both cookie on. No, we're holding cookies out and you have to pick. Yeah, I'll pick your cookie Why we're best friends man, not okay. I'm sorry. I had I mean he would do years But he would have to close his eyes because then it's not gay because it's not gay, but it's fine fine with gay people I hate it good. It's always good when you use that tone when talking about a people group. I have a gay friend. I have a gay friend. I have a gay friend.

Good job. So that means I know. Good job, so juicy thing in the world. I'm okay. I mean, I'm friends with you. I'm playing on the people that say that. The people that say like, I have a black friend. Like yeah, just calm down over it.

Do you wanna hear my cancer hypothetical? No. Oh yeah, but then I have a cool life pool that I made. So you have cancer. And the only reason you know is you go to the doctor and they tell you that you have cancer, but you've always had cancer and the cancer does not affect you. Okay. Essentially you are the cure for cancer.

Okay. You have it in your body. You know how to stabilize it. You will never die from it. Would you allow the government to perform experiments on your body, you know how to stabilize it, you will never die from it. Would you allow the government to perform experiments on your body potentially killing you to find the ultimate cure for cancer, or would you keep that to yourself

and simply live out your life? That's a rough one, because I'm a selfish prick. So would you basically save the planet from cancer or would you just save yourself? I, I think yeah, I think I'd have to let them experiment on me. I think there's any other choice. Otherwise, I don't think there's,

I don't think there's living with yourself with that known. I've just had too many family members affected by cancer. Yeah, that's the thing. If you knew somebody, it'd be a lot easier to do. That's the thing, is that knowing people literally in this moment that could survive because something's in me,

I just want to be able to live without that it would suck. What help cancer for animals? No the animal still get cancer. So you would save your animals before you save people? Well no I'm just saying I'm trying to find like I had a dog die. He had cancer and I was like well that's my personal connection. Yeah I can use that. But no I guess yeah I'd still let people let the government take it. I don't wait with my butt. Yeah, I don't know what kind of person even could publicly say they wouldn't, even if you think that you wouldn't know.

You basically just keep it to yourself and the knowledge that you could cure cancer would be the thing that way. Not saying answers to your hypothetical, I don't know anybody who could like say like, nah, keep it. It's mine. I wouldn't let the government do it though. I'd find like a nice highly trained skill of like doctors and. See, I might nah, keep it. It's mine. I wouldn't let the government do it, though. I'd find like a nice, highly trained skill of like doctors. See, I might go the opposite way, and I think I might,

I would keep that to myself. Like, great. Great. Yeah. Yeah. Why? Well, if everybody got cured from cancer, there'd be more people. And if there's more people,

there'd be more people with starve. We're getting philosophical here. Yeah, it could be something that greatly affect, it could make the world worse if you cured cancer. We do have an unfortunate population problem. But I don't think that is. I don't think that's the fact. I don't think that's the fact.

That's you playing God. That is me playing God. And that's the quote, you basically are playing God if you were the cure for cancer. It's really funny to say that. This is just weekend I was wondering, you guys seen Star Trek, I assume everyone's seen Star Trek, which may the force be with. Which, no. Well, actually, it's seen Star Trek, I assume everyone's seen Star Trek, which may the Force be with.

Which? No. Well, actually, it's a good point, because I guess they don't have it in all the series. In Star Trek, next generation, they have a thing called replicators. And the replicators can be... Two, or gray, hot. Teotie, or gray hot. Basically, they're like microwaves, but they have saved recipes, and you can just activate

any recipe. Like you say, I want steak, I want beef stew, and you press a button and then you have beef stew. So it's a device that all of a sudden cures world hunger. But at the same time, think about how many jobs and how many people's way of life, I mean, economies are so dependent on the service industry and food.

They explain that in the Star Trek series that even Picard explains that he comes from a time where they've gotten rid of even the need for money where everyone's needs are met. That there's not even a, that the entire human race is like, is working towards the benefit of the entire human race at this point in history.

I'm not trying to like dissect Star Trek, what I'm trying to say is if that was invented tomorrow, in this world, like what happens? Yeah, I've been collapsed in the economy. What would it do for all the farmers, like people in America? I mean, they'd essentially be in jobs. That's what we're slowly dealing with,

just in general, with technological advances, where it's like self-driving cars, they're going to get rid of a lot of jobs doing that. And the more we do automation inside of warehouses and that kind of service that we're getting rid of. I mean, what's their face wants to make? Get rid of boutique shops and turn them into vending machines. You know, we're sending those people,

send them to the moon. To work. They should have to work. To work in my movie theater. There's tons of jobs on the moon. Yeah. You can have tiny little children whose parents don't have jobs if you make a moon shoes all day long.

Oh, the children make you. We get a lot of them from China. We'll send them over there. They're good at making the shoes. They can make those shoes. The rest of them go make your cars that are obsolete here on planet earth. We probably have the technology though for sending people to the moon that cars would be. You're not putting those together. It just struck me that if you were able to actually create a factory on the moon that made moon shoes

and then imported them back to Earth, you could sell them for so much. People would totally buy moon shoes. Oh, they're imported. Yeah. Yeah. I'm attached on it though. That'd be quite a tax.

That would be good. That would be good. That would be good. That would be good. That would be alone, like the transportation costs on that. It's really scary when you look and see how many jobs just even in this country are based on just transit, and not even just service industry jobs, which are also like you're saying,

like big targets for automation. Yeah. But like when you add up like just truckers, taxi drivers, like if it's scary to look at that and then think of what are people gonna be doing for money in like 10 years? I don't know, what are you gonna do for money in 10 years Brandon?

What are you two right now for money? I'm just gonna be like a crack. That's gonna be like my entire thing. I'm gonna be a crack guy. I think the majority of the company doesn't even know what you do right now. So crack. I think that's what I believe of what you could be doing in that office. That's all closed up and the blinds are

full. The reason I put the blinds there is there was like a reporter here. Yeah, and in your office, there was a reporter at the company. And the biographer went off and just went and got b-roll. And instead of going up to people and asking them to record them, I just saw this news package on my TV with me at my computer and I got really creeped out. So I put a curtain up. Okay.

I have a new life goal. And I think it's a pretty good attainable and a good life goal. At some point in my life, I'm going to, no, stop it. At some point in my life, I want to have made physical contact with the rock. And that's just simply, even if it's like a fist bump or a high five or a hug or anything like that. I want to, before the end of my life, come in physical contact with the rock. And I think the first step, and I've made a first step, the first step is come in physical

contact with someone who has come in physical contact with the rock. Because first you touch through. Three and three. There, like seven degrees, yeah, but yeah, I, I, I, I, I haven't gotten there yet. That's we're making steps here. Okay. But I want to have touched the rock before I die. Do you have, so just before you die, that's your timeline. I wanted soon.

I want it because he's so, he's, he's, he's just amazingly interesting right now. I think it's, this, this came out of the wonderful analysis that was happening where how should you treat a woman? It's imagine how you would treat the rock standing for you. And then we start thinking about how much the rock is an awesome person. What would you call us? Oh, like if I met him.

If you met him. Oh, hello, Mr. Johnson, Mr. John, something like that. You must say Mr. Rock, Mr. Rock. That would probably say I would probably say, I would probably say, Mr. Rock, no, I would probably be like, hello, the rock. May I touch you? I met the the rapper, Bun B a few years ago in class.

He's like friends with the classmate of mine from school and he came by and he was like, oh, like, you know, nice to meet you guys and he kind of came down the row. And I was like, hello, Mr. B, it's like so nice to meet you. And I was like, that's your name. I think this actually partly came out also the fact that I realized, like, I have my dream boy is you, McGregor, I want to just be his best friend and lifelong partner for forever. But I realized that I have touched someone who has touched you, McGregor, and that both is awesome and bothers me.

Who? Riot. Why has she touched us? She used to do scuba. And she used to be a work at a scuba place. And so she would help people with the scuba tanks and everything like that, and you McGregor was a client. And she has, she helped him in his wetsuit.

And she's the Lord that over me constantly helped. I don't know, I don't know. But I have touched someone who has touched you in McGregor, and I've decided that I want to touch the rock. If she told you that she had sex with you in McGregor, would you like try to find out what that was like? 100%. Yeah. I'd want her to drop pictures. I don't know. All right. Well, that's okay. I'm about it. Yeah.

I like the detail. Yeah. Yeah. But that's right. And I were pretty we're very, very open and honest about everything. I don't even have to like touch the rock. I mean, I'm fine if you like hit me with a chair. Like the coolest thing in the world. Well, that's a step above just a touch. I mean, I'd find it feel like hit me with a chair. I would be like the coolest thing in the world. Well, that's a step above just a touch. I'm even just like just that that would just be like cool. I'm a done like that's all.

So someday someday someday. I feel like I'm gonna touch the rock. Yeah. You'll touch him. Touch that man. I'm gonna touch him. He's just awesome. He's just awesome.

He has a great meal plan. He's like 7500 calories a day. I wish I had his body. I don't want to look like that, but I do want to eat his food. He has run some people that you look at and you're like, I'm just tired by how much maintenance I'm sure it is for you to up to keep that up. Same with like Terry Krueger. Dude, I try and eat a lot of food. I can't keep on any weight. It's insane. Yeah. I try and eat like 2000 calories a day, like before.

You can't do 2000 calories a day before like two or three in the afternoon. We're in a lot. Yeah, but I mean, like he's so rich. Showing you just imagine if you had like a little guy following you around. It's not about how he eats. Eat this.

It's harder to eat healthy. Like if it's the volume. Yeah, to eat that many calories and not make a junk food. Right. Because you could eat that many calories in candy bars and like that Yeah, but that many calories in like especially if you're gonna do like vegetables and chicken and that kind of or fish He's a lot of fish. I have I haven't even had four meals today. It's off to you dinner and then a post dinner Look a hobbit. I've had two meals. Why can't fucking short no

Yeah, I ate a I ate it low-hanging fruit, really. I ate this red bull for lunch. That don't do that. Is that not good? Be healthy. Just five calories. There you go. Be healthy. Or what is it? Just because you're married and all that. It doesn't mean you need to stop taking care of your body. It's so much work. Be healthy. We all want to eat better. But when it comes to snack, sometimes it feels like the whole world is delicious and a billion calories versus boring and tasteless calories. It doesn't have to be that way. Up your snack game with nature box.

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if you make that kind of a goal. Oh, well, I don't know if it was anyone who unrealistically, like it would never happen, Beyonce. Oh, that's a good one too. Yeah, I think Beyonce's amazing. Oh, I don't think I could. I don't think I could. I don't think I could. Probably up there as well as Chance the Rapper.

Big fan of Chance the Rapper. As an unattainable, but actually attainable people. What if Beyonce hugged you? Oh, fuck. I would literally need nothing else in my life. That would be great. I would need nothing else in my life. Oh, we're just children.

I can't think of actually attainable people. You think the rocks attainable for me? That's nice for you to say that. I think so. Well, I think, well, because I think of it, like, doesn't Greg Miller know him? Yes, some kind of connection. Yeah, I guess I do.

Like he's, he's, he's, he's responded to Greg Miller. He's like sent Greg Miller a video message to think at one point. He's responded to Blaine before. He's responded to Blaine. So there is, there has been like in my world connections. Yeah. So there, I think there is a sense of attainability there.

I don't think it's like super farfetched goal. Anyone else, maybe, you, I think, I think there's some potential there. Yeah. So I'm trying to think of the people that I would actually have a chance to meet. Michelle Obama, I would also fucking die. Or Barack.

No, again, unattainable. That was gonna be how they're totally attainable. Not Michelle I think I think I think I could meet the Obama. I would love to meet Obama. I love to meet the Obama's I want to give him a hug That's all Kisses forehead want to give him a hug and not say anything just leave Just walk away never look back. I don't need it. Noim a hug and walk a cry would be a pat though, right? I would cry I would cry if I would have an hug though mom and they walked away Brandon, what's your fucking weird answer for who I want to touch? Yes, yeah, the larger wife. Why is it worse when Brandon says it? No, I'm content. Are you touching all of them?

Anyone? Yeah. No. Don't need a, don't need a, Brandon, you know, you have touched so many lives. They have Brandon. They have, they wanted it or not. No, don't say that.

That's not true. You have touched so many people. You have. Don't not joke about it. I've seen you touch them. Where's your dog? Uh, Vader's at home. He need to bring seen you touch them. Where's your dog? Uh, Vader's at home. He need to bring Vader in more often. He's a sweetheart.

He's like the sweetest dog in the world. He's cute. You have one of the best dogs. I just scared with my pug. We were, I forgot you got a, I've been, Vader has a clipped penny so much.

Penny's the bomb. We, we went to a friend's house. They just got this brand new house. What she ate this time? And the backyard, they have a big wooden deck. And we were kind of like, oh crap, worse Penny. And we looked and she got under the deck.

And she was trying to move around and she couldn't figure out how to get out because she was kind of stuck in between these two boards. Like she could understand like, okay, just kind of like bury yourself and you know, and get out of there. And I was just thinking, we're gonna have to tear up this beautiful deck and have it paid to get replaced.

It'd be like super expensive. And then I just kind of had this like piphany. And I was like, Paula, I need ham. So they go and they get some ham. They come back out and they give it to me. And then I like, you know, I'll get down and I show Penny, I'm like, Penny, look, I have ham. And then she goes like all of a sudden,

super Rambo like Marine starts like the moms who get like a adrenaline and lift car exactly like she's like going under barbed wire like digging under the dirt like anyone like two seconds she's there and she gets it's like she had no idea what she was capable of. It's like I know my pugs. That's scary man. I would have thought like I always get scared of a dog as in her porch cause a rattlesnakes.

Yeah, and it's out in the country. Pugs are a breed of dog literally created to rely upon us. They are, they are, they have everything about actually naturally surviving has just been bred out of this. They're must be the majority of them. And Penny, if they fantastic example,

I thought about that. But I was like, oh, well, she has no survival instinct. What would she do? She was trained and I was like, well, she would just run up to a human and look adorable. That's the great survival instinct. That's what they're bred for. They're bred to be endearing to human.

Yeah, and it works. When she doesn't feel like walking anymore, I just pick her up and I carry her. Do you still put her in that little harness? Yeah, it's hot outside. Yeah, I remember when we played kickball. She had a team shirt. Yeah, she had a team shirt and it was probably the best thing.

Oh, it's hilarious. She was the best player. But that sport. Yeah, we were horrible at it. It broke your goddamn arm plan. Wait a second, you broke your arm plan. Kickball. Dude, John, this was amazing.

He got helicopter like he got he's Brandon flew in the air like this how landed I don't even know how you did that it was amazing. I don't know man It was like we played with like this huge like a medicine ball So it was like really boring because nothing interesting happened So I think you the balls in the air and I like went for it and I collided with one of the base runners. Oh, no. Yeah, it was fucking dumb ass way to get hurt. Yeah, getting damaged and kickball as a dumb ass way to get hurt. Yeah. I was wondering because ever since then, every so often you'll send out an email and you'll be like, Hey, guys,

like softball is coming up. Why don't we all play softball? Why don't we all try and do that? I just want to do something with my friends of a very lonely life. Excuse me for wanting to get out with my buddies. I always agree, I always email back and I'm always like, I'm in. I know you're in, but nobody else,

nobody else, like, yeah. I can't commit to not like kids, you know. I can't commit to another reoccurring thing in my life. I got enough reoccurring. Yeah, we don't hang out enough. We should hang out. We should have moved. We need to go to a movie.

I want to go see the Florida project. Oh, let's go see the Florida project. I just go make out in the corner close your eyes. I don't know if I can make my eyes. I'll close my eyes You do what you want and I turn out straight on the other side All right You might want to look good in your underwear and be comfortable, right? But that perfect balance is hard to find. Don't sacrifice style or a comfort. Check out meundies.com and find the best pair of underwear in the world. For the fellows, meundies a diamond-seemed pouch cradles your jewels and gives your stuff

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That's meundies.com slash rooster teeth. This is a limited time offer. So what are you waiting for? Start wearing the best underwear of your life. It changed our lives. So it's time to let me undies change yours. Go to meundies.com slash rooster teeth right now. I think we have some meundies on set. Right. You guys are wearing them. Showing our each other. You can go first. I don't know some me undies on set. Right, you guys are wearing them. Showing our each other, you can go first. I don't know if I'm gonna do all that. All right, let's get to it.

I don't have any. Look at that. It's a, maybe? It's hard to see. Oh, you're getting a little too. I use specifically with them. If you go out in a date, just to be confident. I'm gonna go, yeah.

I got one a night for you I have two pairs of meandies and those are my nice and dewears. It's a neighborhood I'm moving into is like a bunch of windows like everybody has windows and they don't cover them like so We went to see the house and then I looked in the backyard and they have low fences and then our neighbor was just walking around in his underwear, just in the living room, just like fucking like no remorse, like no cares in the world. Is this house? Yeah, and I'm just like, I don't know what am I like.

I'm just, it's like I felt, I wanna be able to do that, but I can't, like I have one. You want to be able to be calm, but I don't have to walk around your own house and your underwear. With all of like the windows open Yeah, you can you can what's stopping you. Yeah, I Don't have the the my body. It's not who cares

Gonna be like that thing is just not good. You need well, then it's their fault for looking Anybody's house you're beautiful walk. Okay. We have it now. Let's just all just saw Tara close off, spear on to where and just be happy. He was well put together. He was well put together. He was good. He was good looking man.

He was good looking man, yeah. He was confident in that. I'm really sad about that. Like you can do, it's totally fine. The energy has changed significantly. Well, like you guys watch friends. I feel like it'd. Well, you guys watch Friends. I feel like it'd be like, you know, when they saw the naked guy across the street,

like, and it was just like a freak-sized man. Ugly naked fat dude. Oh, yeah. What was it? Ugly naked fat, dude. The one with Ross. Well, he was naked. What's the name of the episode?

The shapes my body makes are just not good. Your name was. Just a guy. No, no, it's a guy you're just not good. Your name won. Just a, your guy. No, no, it's like that. You're pretty much straight up and down. My, my doctor referred me to a physical therapist because my butt's like concave. My, my hips, like you look at my hips

and there's like nothing there. It's just like, You mean your butt's concaved? Like this would go in? It was like inward. It's like like you mean your butt's concaved Like this to go in goes like inward. It's like yeah, so you have This is you from the back. Yeah, that's exactly me That's exactly as not good. It's not good doesn't look good. I don't think I've ever seen your ass Tyler I've seen a lot of your body. I've never seen your ass. No, he has a good booty. I don't think I have an ass man

That's like the one thing I wish. I wish I had that Marquis asked. But I don't know. Fucking air Marquis, you could just throw rocks at that. You really could. He's just popping. I can't get that. I do, I work out all the time. You know that, but like I can't do anything

to help my situation out. I'm so unfortunate. I'm sorry. Feel very self-conscious about my butt. Do you really? Yeah, yeah. Apart from other things, I mean, I walk my butt with confidence,

always walk that Tushy, like it's got a purpose, all right? Don't be ashamed of who you are, but like I am self conscious. I saw the coolest Instagram account. It was just people on vacation with, there are two podcasts having right now. I just wanna let you know that there's two podcasts. I love podcasts for the cost of one.

I love braining those so much. Like I was so excited to be on this because I mean, I haven't seen you in a while, and I love you, but like, I just say after this. I haven't seen him forever in his mind. It's such a beautiful one. It's a beautiful mine.

It's like, Russell Crowe's mine. It's a beautiful mine. It's not, I know these are not nice things. I know. This isn't nice thing. Brandon, Instagram, Instagram. What's on Instagram? There's like a Instagram account.

Is that your ankle? Oh no. you're a little bit more generous. I am. That makes me. Yeah, the hand kill boys. No, as I don't know. Oh, Peggy. Is that why he talks Instagram? No, it's just an Instagram account. And it's just people's butts, but like butts on vacation. And you like, here's like vacation. Yeah, it's like people, Look that up right now.

You've been looking at a lot of nudity online between serious silvermans, thing, and then now this. And it was like research for this podcast. There's a lot of nudity online. It was like the, like the Huffington Post page for like weird stuff that's. So it's just butts on vacation? Yeah, butts on vacations, I was like the like the Pay the Huffington post page for like weird stuff that's just butts on vacation Yeah, but some vacations I'm like that

But it's like it looks so relaxing like you just like you're going to the ocean or going like the beach and then your butts just out I actually went to a nude beach for the first time this year and send you is it a hashtag or is it a count? Let me look it up like I never thought I would ever go to a new beach let alone be like getting naked on a nude beach Didn't you see someone there too? Yeah, I was with somebody at the time who she can fuck off to never never land Fucking hate her It's called cheeky exploits Anyways, that was with that bitch and we were naked

Layed out and there was a younger couple next to us. For the most part, it was a bunch of old dudes, kind of, you know, with their dicks out and whatever. That's, I think, par for the course from this. This is an actual beach, a part of that. It was an actual beach. It's like, it's called Black Beach in San Diego. I think it's in like La Jolla. I'm not too familiar with that area.

But yeah, it was like this beautiful beach. It was amazing and like, yeah, just, it, and like when I did it, I never wanna go to a beach like not naked again. Really? It's like so unbelievable, it's so liberating. And like, you know, I'm not drop and trow down there. I ain't swinging some Ron Jeremy down there. But it was like, I didn't care.

It was like very freeing to do it. There's nothing sexual about it. Like the young couple next to us was very, you know, good looking young couple, whatever, but it, everybody felt like it was like totally cool. So as soon as you got there, you were comfortable. It didn't take you a while to, because I feel like it would take me a long time.

I mean, when we showed up, we kind of put down our towel whatever and then like, we're like, oh, fuck it, let's just do it. And I think it helped that I was with somebody. I don't know if I would have been able to do it by myself. Yeah, there's one here in Austin. There's one in West Austin in the lake area over there. What the West Lake Beach?

Oh, wait, like, it's about to be hollow. Maybe hollow. Yeah, that's the place. Yeah, one good way of being hollow. No, I don't want to go there, at Bernstein, we have a new display. But I think I talked about that with Riot once and she was totally down with it,

but she's also very confident in body. But I mean, in Austin's topless city too. I mean, it's absolutely good to be topless here. Yeah, I'm top. So why does it? Why don't more people you know, I wish people take full advantage of the law What do you see the issue the Tyler's gonna stand up for? I'm just walking around see the valley to close and What? Oh? Married by my conversation. No, no, I'm just thinking about Topolis Titties, Austin. As you do, that's all we talk about.

That makes you sleep, Boob's make you sleeping. That makes me want to go to off to Dr. Boob's. I would say Boob's are the best pillows. They really are. There's nothing like it. Especially for God, there's like something so mothering about it. Oh, I was thinking about my mom with Boob's. You made it work.

Look at Freudian, I'm not trying to be fucking sick or like shock just made it weird. I'm just thinking about my mom with boobs. You just made it weird. Yeah, you did. I'm not trying to be fucking sick or like shock-jockish. I'm just saying, it is like a comforting, nobody brought, made that connection. You could have just said boobs are nice. I like the moment. Nobody would have mentioned mothers. Are you thinking about your mom?

Oh, are you thinking about your mom? Are you thinking about your mommy? Your mom. Yuck, yuck, yuck. They really are though. They are, they're very nice. You think about your mommy? Yuck, yuck, yuck. They really are though. They are very nice. It's like the nicest thing. I don't even want to sleep with people, man.

You know, I just want to sleep with them. It's like the best thing about having a girlfriend a boyfriend. You just want to cut. It's not the sex. I could care less about the sex. It's almost like just like a checklist thing. Like let's get it out of the way, whatever.

It's more about, can we just like take a nap together? Dude, I always sleep around. Forever, because like that shit's awesome. Getting a of the way, whatever. It's more about can we just like take a nap together? Dude, I always sleep around. Cause like that shit's awesome. Get a little dark there bro. Yeah. I'm just gonna wanna die with some. I'm with me bro. I'm gonna die with you.

I'm gonna fucking die together. I'm gonna fucking die together, okay? Are you a little spoon or a big spoon? You know what's a shitty thing? Like guys never get to be a little spoon. I'll be a spoon you. I hate that. I'll be a spoon you.

And I'm little as it is anyways. You're a perfect size for a spoon. I know. want you want to take an app? No not with you You're nice, but I mean not my type We can totally do it Wouldn't even wouldn't even do things to you You guys say all of your sexual tension when you're on camera because you can't actually do it like all other time I can do it. No, we can do it. Really?

You're hanging out in real life. Yeah, there's so many things I wanna say, but no one's recording us. I will agree to some extent of what you're saying that sex is great, but it is a very momentary thing and that I'm all about like, I just like kissing and making out is the best thing. Oh, it's hands down, the best thing.

It's really cool with me. Maryl is shaking her head. Oh no, I don't agree's the best thing. Oh, it's hands down, the best thing. The whole thing. Maryl is shaking her head. Oh, no, I don't agree with the sleeping thing. I like my sleeping space. I always sleep worse when I sleep with someone. I always sleep with someone. She tries to get me and the dogs just to far away from her. Yeah, I want to love you.

Oh, that's exactly the same. I mean, I sleep. Yeah. No, no, no, that's different. If you're gonna a dog, you can't do the cuddle thing when you're going to bed like one day through Friday.'t know, that's different. If you're gonna a dog, you can't do the cuddle thing when you're going to bed like Monday through Friday. Yeah, like that's ridiculous. But like an afternoon cuddle.

Come on, like a Saturday afternoon cuddle. Oh, it's nice. No, it's nice. That is just bomb diggy. It works for like, like maybe five, 10 minutes. I had, yeah, I had a girlfriend that, I one of my, the highlights of my life was, I think it was like, it was literally during like South by or something

during a Sarif noon Great British Bake Off was on the TV. She was lying on me and she fell asleep with me Well, great British Bake was on this is the best thing. Well, that's a good big. That's a good. That's a good. That's a good big. Yeah No, nobody has any idea what I'm saying when I say that but that's a good show. No, it's a good bake. Yeah. Yeah. I watch this show on Food Network the other day called Baker or Faker. I don't watch a lot of the Food Network. What is Baker? It is a very good show where four people compete. Two of them are bakers and two of them are fakers so that they're people who bake but they're not professional bakers.

And then they have like three or four rounds and each round they get eliminated and they say, like, oh, I'm an actual baker. The guy who won, the one that I just watched was actually a talent agent in New York City. Like, how the hell do you have time to bake? Well, that's the entire premise of the Great British Bake Offs. Everybody's amateur baker that doesn't do it for a living and has full time jobs otherwise, but have like a love of the craft and therefore are good enough to even like some of them get jobs afterwards of like doing baking.

It's fantastic. Do you have any hidden talents? I think I don't know of anything that I haven't shared. All right, well you're done, Mario. I can juggle. That's my stupid little talent. That's what I always say. Yeah, a lot of time was up. Oh, no. You can, Mario. I can juggle. That's my stupid little talent. That's what I was saying. Yeah, a lot of time was up.

Oh, no, you can juggle. I can juggle. I'm pretty talentless. I learned how to juggle those cans. I totally could. Do it. How many? Do the bottles?

Three. Three's not juggling. Anybody can juggle three of anything. I can't juggle three of anything. Okay, then you juggle three cans and show me that it's nothing. All right, let's do this. Oh, God.

Is Brandon gonna juggle three cans? Move the mic. Give time for the camera. It's set up with a ship. I want Brandon's gotta go first to show me how easy it is. I'm scared. I got a chance. And that complexity.

Oh, okay, okay. Oh, the chance of the weight of the chance. I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know. I left my moon shoes at home.

The elements were just wrong. Show me how easy it is fucking put up show me how you know, baby All right, let's do this you're gonna break your goddamn computer That had a problem Oh No Look you did make it look really easy look look if it was Three balls I can juggle three balls. Okay. You just said I think at some point you said anybody can juggle three of anything I think you did actually just say that I was wrong I was very very wrong. Thank you for admitting that okay, John. Oh, absolutely a minute. There's no I'm gonna choke now. I'm gonna choke. Seeing is also hard. Hey, na's Dreetos. Yeah. What's the key?

What's the basic? What do you start with? It's just learning the pattern of the cascade is like one going over the other in the same pattern over and over again, just getting that. And then it's just muscle memory at that point. That's all, because it's everything is going, there's two circles basically happening

just over and over again. And that's all it is with three ball flasks. Jiggle the nine, time time of class. I did do nice actually. I didn't graduate to like real nice. I had practice one You go to school, huh? No Used to do musical theater a lot a lot more when I was younger and there was a production of Barnum happening that in fact my dad was directing it and I was too young to be in the production But everybody in the production had to learn how to juggle just because it was a big part of it. And so I decided to learn and I got really good at it

and for some reason kept going. It's really good. You're also a great piano player. I've heard you play for, I love it. Oh, I do play piano. There's something that will mesmerize me. I love seeing people do that. If I play the piano for you, would you then let me cull you?

Yeah, sure. There you go. There's the key. Well, we have to take pictures of so people cull you? Yeah, sure. There you go. There's the key. Well, we got to take pictures of so people know it happened. Yeah, okay. Just find that. The only way people know if you're real, if you have pictures.

What song can I learn to play that will soothe Tyler? Stays his mom. Right? Right? It's crazy. They don't want to soothe Brandon. No, Stays his mom. Play some N.F. orn.

That's yours. What's Tyler's? What's yours? What's the music ever? I never said mine. What's the music that will get you to go to bed with me? Mm. Mm.

With a, mm, I've never thought about that before. Ooh. I will say for anybody out there, man, woman or or other, or there's a lot there. So, yep, spectrum Frank Sinatra gets everybody laid, everyone laid. I know some Frank Sinatra. Oh, fly me to the moon. All right. So much sexual tension.

And I can't, I can't tell if it's just for fun, or if there is really something going on here, why can't it be both the bothers me? or if there is really something going on here. Why can't it be both? The bothers me. No, it doesn't bother me. I'm just like, the Tuzz bother you. It doesn't. I'm just like, I want to know more.

Do you jealous? Do you want me to be more sexually advanced on you? Do you want me to hit on you? No, I'm not going to, you know, he doesn't like it. But I'm giving him something. No, I won't stop it. I can't if you want. Okay, I'll remember that next time.

I'll try to focus on you more. Are you guys afraid of flying at all? Not at all. In fact, I was just thinking the day when I was in the plane on the way to Vegas and it got really bumpy, I was realizing I should probably be more scared right now. And I'm probably a little bit too comfortable.

That's what my best nap's on the plane. Yeah. I love the drone. I mean, like, you know, I think a huge issue right now is like, people just have drones and they start flying them in like flight paths. Well, that'd be a good terrorist attack, strap a bomb and boom, right into a plane.

Like, are you mean like big old, big old drones? No, like even a small drone, like gets in the way of a plane or like the engine. It's like a huge issue. Like a little thing could create a big problem for a plane. And I think like, I would imagine it's a big problem to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to.

I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to. I would like to.

I would like to. I would like to. I into a football stadium. Oh my god. I'm not trying. I'm just saying those. I mean, your headphones are scary to me. I do not like drones. Um, yeah, no, they're really terrifying if you're flying. I mean, it could be even be a big plane. And if the engine, like you would up an engine and it catches fire, anybody could do anything to it. I mean, like anybody could do anything with the drone. It really is truly terrifying. I'm not trying to like make jokes. Like you did you, they're, but they take pretty footage. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's like, what they could do. Did you see the footage of the drone following

the mailman through the burnt house's neighborhood in California? Lots. No. It was like both beautiful and depressing as as any of every scene where there was this guy who was taking a drone through some of the burn neighborhoods and there was a mailman who was like still going through the neighborhood and dropping things off at the addresses and it was like there was nothing else in sight. All the houses were literally just cinders on the ground. There was no structures at all and it was just this drone, just a wonderfully like smooth footage of this male truck going through these neighborhoods. There it is.

Oh my God. It's like a fucking moron. Yeah, it looks like something out of a movie almost. But this is like this is a neighborhood in California. It's like he's wally. He's like still doing his job even though everything's gone. It feels very like I am legend. God, yeah. Where's he even playing that? I mean, that made me think about like when the male still comes, they still got to go and put the male somewhere so they need it.

What do they say, rain? Fire. Water. Yeah, but like the one thing they still got delivered, you know, it's like it's got to go somewhere. It's probably sad. If the if the mailbox are there. Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's just crazy We don't like these things are getting too cheap and too many people are getting them It's like hard for people to like keep up and it's funny because

Like airports around the world are having to deal with this problem because you shut down the airport it costs a lot of money even for you for an hour. And Dubai being Dubai basically got built a drone in order to find these little drones that didn't like haunt them and like identify them so they can find the person who's transmitting to it. And I think there's a country in Europe. I think it might be, I think it's the Dutch.

They don't have the drone. They've trained eagles to hunt. I've seen that. Drone. I think I can grab them out of the air and just like yank them. Like just like brutally yank them away from, you know, the airport.

It's nature taking back the planet. Yeah, I mean, and this is like an endless labor force. What? I'm saying danger. Well, not there. Can't like get an endangered life. I don't think it's like a bald eagle. I don't know the statistics on animals anymore.

I imagine most animals are decline. But it's just like, keep getting people. No, I did not. That's why I'm asking. Did you bring in this drone stuff because you had a bad experience or something? You know Bernie doesn't trust me. No, Bernie does have a drone. I don't know if you knew that, John.

I did. I did know Bernie had a drone. I think he uses some time for a show he makes. Yeah. Well, thank you guys for coming. Hey, Brandon, thank you. Thank you. Thanks for having us, Brandon, thank you. Thank you. Thanks for having us Brandon.

This was a jolly old time. You learned a lot. Sorry for all the sexual tension. Yeah. It wasn't, it wasn't tension. It's just, it's there. It is there. And we need to figure this out.

And we need to, we need to, we need to get it. We need to get to the core of it. All right. Thank you guys so much for watching. Thank you to our wonderful sponsors. And oh, I guess we still need a record of thingy. Yeah, we'll deal with this actual tension in the post show. We'll deal with this actual tension in the post show.

All right, thanks guys. Bye. music Do you like apples? Example. Together in Trempathos, Characombs, Characombs are free to deal with this podcast. Analyze various unsolved and rooster teeth's cryptic podcast. F**k face. Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise specific, but short.

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