Rooster Teeth Podcast - Millennial Mr. Bean - #750

Episode Date: May 10, 2023

Join Barbara Dunkelman, Chris Demarais, Kerry Shawcross, and Armando Torres as they work through Chris’ phone problems, discuss having kids, examine pooping habits, and more! RTX Tickets are on sale NOW! RTX Austin July 7th-9th - https://www.rtxaustin.com/ Already a FIRST Member and need your Private RSS feed for this show? Go here: http://bit.ly/FIRSTRSS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church, twisted metal, streaming now, only only on peacock. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Hello everyone, welcome to the Rooster Teeth podcast. I'm Barbara. I'm Carrie. I'm Chris. And I'm Armando playing Baby Peach.

And I'm Barbara. I'm here with some boys who are just playing some video games. We decided the last second to play Mario Kart. And then Armando said that he's never played Mario Kart before. Yeah. How, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you've never played Mario Kart before. No, really, we asked how do you play? I've played Mario Kart before, but never on anything that isn't a... Oh, shit.

It looks like you call it a tiny joycon. It looks like 64. And Nintendo Switch. It looks like you're holding a stick of gum. We are, maybe. And Armando's hands. It didn't, it didn't, in my hands. This is...

Whoa, they fly now! This is what they say, like this is what it's in the Nintendo commercials. It's just like, we're doing something else. I was just like, who wants to play Mario Kart? And now we're doing it. And this is great for everybody. A TikTok live, you know, when you're watching a TikTok

and they're like talking about something, but there's a video game being played at the same time. Yeah, but the worst part is that the audience cannot see it. It's just for us. No, we need the distraction so that we can actually pay attention. Yeah, they said that we wanted to get more into a classic rooster teeth type of podcast. Yeah, this is, it's a let's play basically, right?

I've had an issue, you know, like, you know, you're like, we're used to like multi-tasking at all times. At all times, you get to know that. I'm doing it right now, but I haven't had a phone for like a week. And so I don't know what to see you guys know that. I'm doing it right now, but I haven't had a phone for like a week. And so I don't know what to do with myself. Anytime I have like on the toilet,

like sitting somewhere, like waiting for, I order food and I'm like, what do I do now? What do I put my hand? Do you find that you're more, more of a person? More, what's the word I'm looking for? When you actually get shit done. Product.

Productive. I was going to say proactive and I'm like that's not what I'm looking at. You feel like your act means cleared up? Yeah. In some ways, yeah, because I'm like, I go to like, oh, let me distract myself. And I go and reach for my phone. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, it's God.

And then you just touched your pants and you think, well, I guess I'll, I guess I'll master it now. Yeah, I just don't know how to do my phone. I slapped my thigh in both ways. Wait, you're done? There's so much of this race. Oh, no. Now we have to end this dumb joke.

Yeah, it's a joke. So just to clarify why I don't have a phone, yeah, I don't know why. My phone just started last week. What do you mean you don't know why, I don't know why. My phone just started last week. What do you mean you don't know why? I don't know why. Just 10 please. Last week, for no reason, it just started turning off and it would only turn on for like three seconds at a time.

What version of the iPhone? It's an iPhone X or whatever. So it's not even that old? Yeah, well, we're on 14 now. So it's decently old. I have an 11 that so works perfectly fine. And so, but, and we're on 14 now, yeah. So it's decently old, but. I haven't 11, that's so works perfectly fine. And so, but my problem is I didn't have my phone backed up recently, but it'll turn on for like three or four seconds.

Okay. And it's slow, and I so I turned on all the backing up and bought the highest like whatever cloud storage thing and it's slowly backing up. Do you actually know that for sure? Well, yes. So at least some at least sometimes sometimes it does it, but I do know that a partial backup was done and then it's a lot of like my photos and stuff I got like backed up. So you're living in danger zone already? You could have just dropped that sucker. Yeah, I know. I was already living on the edge.

So when did this happen? Like last Wednesday. I think everyone would constantly describe you as living on the edge. You struck me as somebody that's one bad thing away from just like snapping. Not in the violent way. Do you hear Chris lives in the forest now? Dude, I feel like Chris is one of those like, many tropes of like he like steps off a curb

the moment something goes flying and like literally just keeps missing death at like the last second. I can tell you how true this is because when you said as a joke, do you all hear Chris lives in the woods now? I went, oh really? I was like, I was waiting for the rest of that story that I hadn't heard you. Yeah, the ludicrous part, that doesn't make sense.

Or just like the stories of when you were in like, New Orleans and you woke up on someone's balcony. Like, no, it wasn't on someone's balcony. I woke up in a gutter. I woke up in the ground. Oh. How is that better? It's the opposite of a balcony, it's on the,

I'm not gonna fall It's true. No, it wasn't the falling it was you being on a stranger's balcony in America About can he clearly is like a addict or something? You're wrong. I'm not like that. Yeah, I basement. You could have been in a basement. Yeah, I'm gonna say for I Have a question about the phone though. What is so important about backing it up? Because I'm never backed up a phone in my day. I don't know, it's just like a picture. You guys can start from my backing up.

All right, go ahead. I don't know, just a bunch of pictures and I don't know. I don't even know. Well, I can't turn it on for more than three seconds to see what I'm missing. Do you not use iCloud for? No, I, he was too old. No, I was new to getting leaked. Well, no, I not, like, do you not use iCloud for? No, I, I, I, he was too old. No, I was, no, it's getting leaked.

Well, no, I just was like, I, I, I, I've just always backed my stuff up, like on a hard drive, and then like, I'm not gonna pay monthly for, I'm not gonna pay $2.99 a month for 200 gigabytes on to think about something. No, it's a tear, I needed two terabytes. I've never been here. You don't have two terabytes phone.

Yeah. I have a 250 gig. Okay, hang don't have two terabytes phone. Yeah. I have a 250 gig. Okay, hang on. Every stop. Yeah. So you have a 250 gigabyte phone. Uh-huh. And to back it up, you needed two terabytes.

Well, there's no middle ground between 200 and two terabytes. Maybe just, I guess. Okay, so Steve Jobsfall, okay. Well, everything is, what's work. I don't even understand like, what 250 gigabytes do you fucking need? So what if Chad just said Chris is a millennial, Mr. Bean? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember that entire week, you had the fight to be in your house. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck, dude, I've never read something more accurate. I think you're just right to be in your house. I'm really sorry to be such a... Fuck, dude, I've never read something more accurate in the entirety of the show being live, dude. I did get, well, Harry's been, went over to Carrie's house recently. Yeah.

And I told him I was like, hey, I'm on my way, but I don't have a phone. So if I get locked, be on the lookout for me. It slacked me on his computer before he left. And he said, he was supposed to get there at 11.30. Yeah. 30. And he said, I'll be there at 11.45.

If you don't see me, keep an eye out. What does that, I don't know. You know, it turned into, I just hope it was 89 degrees outside It was humid. I just opened my garage and stood in the driveway for about 10 to 15 minutes before I just went Yeah, fuck them and I wouldn't And then later I saw you pull up. Yeah, did you have you been a carriers place before yeah, yeah, yeah, okay? I've been I've been a carrier but not but not recently that he didn't have his laptop on the second seat with Google Maps And I still got lost twice because one was me looking down at the laptop to check the name and I missed the exit and then

The other time the other time was I was trying to find a street and it the street was it labeled All right, and that's on you carry. Yeah, you're right. You're sure to be labeled my I'll get my HOA If I'm on the way to your house, I get lost. That's one. Yeah, you the fucking best point Was he went to leave and I said you know I get back right and he just had this like like shock Look for a minute because he forgot to Google the map back Dude find I 35 and I was like yeah, I just give me to the highway Yeah, yeah, I didn't oh, no, no, I was lost for like an hour. Oh, you see, I pointed in the direction.

I said, take this, this is so scary. I thought I was on the right way. And then I was like, then I was like, no, this is the right way. So I turn back. I'm not saying it's Antonio, what's going on? I back, I went, kept driving around different roads. It took me an over an hour to get home. I did not know this actually.

Oh my god. I came out on like way, no, I was on my way to Houston, right at one point. And I came out, eventually I had to pull over on the side of the road where I saw people and be like, hey, my phone's dead. I didn't mention it was been dead for several days. And I was like, worse, worse, the highway.

And they're like, oh, well, you go there and you'll come out and I can. Is this when you told them how long you've been living in Austin for? I didn't tell that. No, that was my secret. Is this your secret? And because I ended up in some like kind of like boomed-oaks

kind of backwoods areas. I ended up sleeping on a porch somewhere in New Orleans. I sure did. I was not clear. I was like, the grass. Sorry, the gutter. No, I'm still a guest too. I was worried. I don't want to Noah is. I don't know, the graph. Sorry, the gutter, the opposite of the four. I was worried.

I don't want to, I don't want to do it myself right now. I just want to say that I live in Austin and I live near. Get them. Three or four major roads are high waste. I've waited all my way home. That's enough information you can find in that. You can do it.

Jesus, dude. I still, so amazing. Two things, one, still have not received an answer as to why people are backing their phones up I don't get it. I mean just like like phones and I want to be on my photos videos and contacts Contact like having people's contact information. I cannot tell you how great it is to not have any contacts anymore And just have people slowly trickle in and text you and then you get to decide if I'm going to save your I get to decide if I'm going to save your number again. I get to start fresh There's some people who I like I don't talk to often enough

I should message this person. They're gone. I have the same thing with you. You're basically saying everyone needs to make the effort for you, but you don't need to make the effort for anyone else. I have a method for cleaning out my apartment when I'm moving, which is that if I found something and go, oh, I didn't know I had this. And it's been like a year, but my life has not needed this. That's why I throw out all these things like my birth certificate and et cetera.

It's just, I find the sale copy of Donkey Kong 64. Of course, I haven't used it. Is that worth a lot? Yeah. It's gonna run home, get lost, come back here. See you. Pretend you're actually. And then get back to Selvah.

I'm just gonna, I'm gonna blow your mind. I'm gonna look at this up real quick. I know the Mario 64 sealed copy sold for like a ton recently. Like you have any sealed in 64 game, even Glover and you're set. Wow, dude. I don't get, that's a good way of living. I don't get locking,

or I don't get backing up the phone. I don't, I don't like pictures. I don't care. I've never taken, I've taken like three good pictures and then I just post them on Instagram if I want to go look back at them. I'm so bad at posting on social media though.

Like, to me, I just, I just like looking at memories. It's like having those, because I also have a shit memory. Yeah, really? And so like being able to look at photos be like, oh yeah, that was fun. Like, think it's like that.

Yeah. I don't know. I know it's for not everybody. How's that kind of need? I think it would be so rare to even find it, by the way. It would be better if my photos weren't just like, I'm trying to look through. It's just shit like this, like a rasta alien.

Like, it's just, it's nothing that makes any kind of sense that I- By the way, I found a sealed-in box $280. That's it? That's not as much as I thought. Yeah, I thought you were gonna say like, hundreds of thousands of dollars. That's what I thought that to you.

You said seal copy of Mario 64, that one, so that's it. This is just a safe picture of this TV show rescue me. So are you saying we could just why through your photos Yeah, I mean if you want to why why why I don't know there's a lot of stuff that I I did There's a picture of the beef wellington. I will say I'm memory. I'm I'm in the middle ground here I don't back up my phone it my phone automatically backs up my photos my contacts and like my notes Okay, yeah, and then I get a new phone and I reinstall all the apps and all that, like I don't do.

This is maybe just like a conspiracy theorist. I think like my fourth iPhone, I finally got somebody to admit at the Apple Store that like restoring your phone slows it down a little bit. Like they finally admitted it. And it was probably just some dude who wanted me to shut up because I was screaming at him. Like tell me the truth.

Yeah. Okay. That's the part that makes you sound like a conspiracy. I just want to get to the bottom of it. Yeah, it wasn't the fear, it was the yellow. The plan obsolescence essentially. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just like, it seems like so clunky to like,

I'm just got a copy of my old phone and my new phone. Yeah, I was download the apps again. I guess I also have all my text messages dating back from probably when I, like, forever. Would be shocked to know how much data I take. I know, I know exactly how much it is. I went ahead and it's like, literally half of my data. But it's really great to be able to be talking

and so I wanna be like, I'll wait, I sent them this message. Oh wait, I can blackmail them now. No, no, no, but it's like being able to be like, go with that thing I sent, and then you can go and be like, oh wait, I sent them this message. Oh wait, I can blackmail them now. No, no, no, but it's like being able to be like, no, it's the thing I sent, and then you can go and be like, ah, no, I sent it and then like, you can pull it out. That's, I like to go through, I have one of my old phones, that's my second phone that I use. I have my second phone for Chris put it.

What did you say? Oh, earlier, your second phone, I was like, oh, I'm on a drug dealer, I don't have a second phone. Yeah, so I have a second phone and... Settle. Just kidding. It's just kidding. Anyways.

Unless, you know, anyway, I do have a phone and it's got all my old text messages on it. My favorite thing is to go through there and just look up like butt. And see like every single person I've tweeted or I've texted butt to or like it's a lot too. And some of them should be and this is not a brag but some of them are just the word butt to and from each other. You did a texted me but I'm a dammit. I can fix

that right now. No, you can. It doesn't matter. Well, no, I can text you. You just won't get it. Yeah. You just have to assume that you will. That Chris, do you want to tell everybody why you haven't bought a new phone? Because I'm with you on this. I will back you up. I hope you back me up quicker than I clouded this. Hey!

I haven't got a new one yet because I'm waiting for my backup to finish before I go in and say I want a new phone to now put this back up. Oh, I thought it was the other reason. Why don't you just buy a phone, like not actually have it set up, just like buy the actual iPhone from Apple, and then you could sign in to it with your Apple ID.

Well, I wanna go in and take my old phone in and see if it can be fixed before I buy a new one. Why haven't you done that yet? Because I'm trying to back it up first. So it's been back up for a week? A little bit at a time, Barbara. I know, okay. The weird thing is, it's gonna work.

It's working slowly, Barbara. I don't think it is. It took a while to figure out a system. I think, can't wait. It's like you have a 10% left and it goes back up failed. I want to see Smash Cut 2 Chris's house. I can't turn it on. It's kind of a hope thing.

I have to like, ever. So where do you see the progress? I have to get on my laptop and check my iCut and see what's been backed up. It's because you have all your two more votes of text. Yeah, I know Barbara. Again, Smash Cut 2 just like, you know how you siphon gas from a car?

It's just that setup, but in the phone, like, amps it down, he's like, it's really gone. I just got a second again. Do you have an iPad? I have a, this is a yes or no laptop. Okay.

Okay, just the answer's no. I was gonna use your iPad as just like a big phone. Yeah, well, it's the call, I don't know, you could FaceTime, I guess. Yeah, I was like, yeah, so copyable. What, it's the call. I don't know, you could FaceTime, I guess. Yeah. I was like, yeah, it's so cool. Yeah. What I was going to say is you're trying to wait. You were trying to wait for the iPhone 15.

Yeah, that's the thing is I used to be seeing that. I've been, I wanted to upgrade my phone recently, but I want you. USB-C, I don't want this lightning stuff. See how long you could go then. And so I was like, we'd always be waiting for the next upgrade. I, which is what, like September or October.

Probably this year. How long do you think you could go without getting a new fund? You personally. I'm pretty tired of it. Yeah. It's a very tiring time. Yeah, and I feel like, you know, like people have been

like contacting me and been like, why are you ignoring me? You know, how do you know that? Because I get all like emails and stuff or people. No, if anyone reached out to me via text and then a couple days later email, you're no. You're one of the contacts I'm not giving you. What's wrong? What do you need? Well, also, like I said, it'll turn on for three seconds or so at a time. So occasionally, I'll check it and be like, oh, this is where I then I'll read and then it'll turn off again. So I'll check everyone's. And you've tried everything like a hard reset and stuff, which

I guess you should do. Yeah, yeah. No, I've everything like a hard reset and stuff, which I guess you shouldn't do if you want your stuff. Yeah, no, I've tried like a hard, hard power on, power off. Anyway, real hard. Yeah. No, I'm talking about like full phone reset. No, I haven't like reformatted it yet because I'm trying to back it up first.

So I don't lose on my pictures. This is so funny. This is, I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting to believe you have something bad saved on it that you want to keep bad like what like I this is like Code codes codes like to launch Something like some blackmail ever 15 years ago he downloaded a bunch of game facts websites

Now he doesn't want it at least there's no picture. I've ever taken that I think I would go through this amount of effort. Well, it's a bunch, it's like years of photos. That's what I'm saying. I just don't, well, and you might be right, but I don't know. And it's not, you know, you didn't have that set up to go to your eye cloud ever? No, Barbara. I can't.

Oh, I'm just asking you, I'm blind. That would solve all the things, Barbara. That would've been nice if I had. I, yeah, I'm just saying. I'm regretting it, Barbara. If you're a person, I'm blind. That would've been nice if I had. I, yeah, I'm just saying. I'm regretting it, Barbara. If you're a person who wants to back up your stuff and keep the photos you've been taken over years, what if we did this?

What if you brought your phone in and I hit it with a hammer? That way, it's just hard. You don't have to do anything. You don't have to stress about anymore. I mean, Why haven't you gotten like a burner phone yet? I don't know, I thought it wouldn't take, I didn't think it would take this long.

How long did you think it would take? Because you said you were willing to wait till the next iPhone came. Well, I was whenever I had a working phone. When you said a shitty phone. Yeah, I just had a shitty phone. I was like, I'm gonna wait till the next one. Now I'm at this point where I'm like,

well, I thought it was going over the weekend. And I didn't wanna touch it because I thought it was like going. And then when I checked it It hadn't gone This is mind blowing. What if this is actually Chris's ploy to just not have to talk to any of us or do work I think Chris get away with not talking to us and not doing anywhere I this there are there haven't some nice things. We don't like well. Okay. I can't no one can contact me So does it matter what I do? Yeah, well Blaine and I filmed that documentary a few years ago

where he and I didn't have any technology for a week. And it's freeing. Yeah, there's something kind of freeing about it. Except for when I got lost. For a week. And in which case, I guess it's freeing because I'd go wherever I want it. Also, but I don't really blame you for getting lost.

I've been here for a week now, is how long I've been in on. Yeah, it's a little more. It sucks. Just as It sucks. Driving here is a fucking nightmare. You have you I can be driving on the freeway and the freeway does this and then half of it goes up. Go on. Yeah, there's a difference when they go. Oh, there's not makes it's off one. Yeah, and then you have to like there's like a there's a fucking road that goes next to the freeway, but it's not the freeway, but it's almost like you're racing next to the freeway

to be like, fuck you asshole. You can do, there's just one spot where you can get off, get on, get on, get on, get on, get on, and get back on, and you'll be traffic. You also have a spot there. So many roundabouts. Yeah, yeah, it was probably me. I think it was me.

There used to be more roundabouts in my opinion. I agree with roundabouts. I think that they're awesome. What you don't have is anyone who knows how to drive with a roundabout. We don't have roundabout education here. No. Well, the problem with awesome, I've said it's a lot. We just don't have education. We don't, and Austin, nobody hears from Austin. So you have all types of drivers here. Like in New York, you got New York drivers. You know what you're getting. In LA, you have LA drivers. And Austin, you have everything. You have Tex and drivers, you have L.A. drivers.

You have a lot of L.A. drivers. A lot of L.A. drivers. But like, no one has the same consistency in knowledge and driving style here. So it's just like, some people are going mind-bogglingly slow. I didn't read, so some people are driving with a laptop. Yeah, for, you know, referencing it for directions. Just get a printer and print out the maps.

Yeah, like people used to. I know, but I don't have a printer. Get one. I don't have a printer. I'm gonna get a new phone before I get a new printer. We have printers here. Yeah, so I drive to work, which you know how to do.

Which you hopefully know that. So I have to drive to work every time I wanna drive somewhere else. Or you get a phone phone those are your options Also, hopefully this doesn't last much longer. Yeah, hopefully these aren't plans you need to make I'm gonna give you my second phone Which is again full of all the time they texted but and like two gigabytes of porn well, you know what? Hey, everyone We wanted to take a moment to remind you that RTX 2023 is happening this July 7th through July 9th

RTX is our favorite time of the year where we get to interact with all of the amazing people that give us the opportunity to make content. That's you guys. It's a celebration of all things Rooster Teeth with panels and special guests, community, artists, cosplay, and so much more. There will be exclusive reveals, meet and greets with Rooster Teeth talent and special merch available only during the event. We are changing up how we're doing the convention, how it feels this year it's going to be a little different with plenty of interactions and amazing events on the show floor. Imagine a mini Epcot style convention show floor with different

attractions and activations from your favorite Rooster Teeth brands, all wrapped up in a summer camp theme. RTX is the summer camp for indoor kids with activities like face jams, rat and grackle pub, a red web escape room, which is very fun, by the way, I tested it out. A fuck face museum, a chim-a-hunter mini-golf, and even more cool stuff to do that we're saving for attendees to experience in person. Are you excited yet? I know I am. Me too. It's too.

We can't wait to see you guys at RTX this summer. So head on over to RTX Austin dot com to get your badges right now and also to get more information about the event. And we hope to see you there. Right Armando? I'll see you everywhere. I don't like that. Speaking of phones, Anastin. Yeah.

Use your phone right now to go to rtxAustin.com. It's like you. To get your badges for RTX this summer, July 7th to 9th. Woo. It's gonna be fucking rad. It includes the eighths, just to be clear. It does include, yes, through those dates. Yeah. It's gonna be fucking rad. I think it includes the eighth just to be clear. It does include, yes, through those dates, is RTX. There's a lot of cool shit this year, you know.

There is the red and the grackle, right? Rackle PUD. There's a, Red Web Escape Room. There's the rack, the grackle PUD. I think just make things out. It's a face jam. They're having a little pub area on the show floor.

There's the fuck face museum. There's the... The face fuck museum. Oh, there's the achievement on your flood experience. There's a different water ride museum. They're actually, and also we have a poster by the team. Oh yeah. That we're gonna be selling.

So I think there's clouds covering some of the things we haven't announced yet. So the poster is gonna have less clouds on it. That's a fun way to do it. But this is gonna be fully for sale at the event along with a ton of other exclusive merch and all these types of experiences on the show floor work. It's gonna be like not any other RTX we've had before.

Yeah. Which I'm really excited about because, you know, it's nice to change things up. One of the things that I thought was really interesting is that we have been, that I've been making jokes about, but I do mean that I think it's awesome is that they have like experiences that are themed after, like they have Redweb,

which is like true crime mystery solving, they have an escape room. Which is a very good escape room by the way. You tried it, how have you done it? I did a play test on it. You did? Yeah. It's actually, so the Redweb escape room.

I actually texted me, didn't bite me, and I didn't get it. That's exactly what happened. Yeah, it was just me, Fredo and Trevor. Oh, okay. Yeah, it was just, and I filmed them doing it. Oh, okay. And helped, but it's actually,

like the convention center, if you literally go out the doors and across the street, it's right there. Wow. So it's an actual escape room. I've been there before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great.

It's gonna be like all red web themed stuff, everything happening. And I heard too that if you don't, if you don't figure it out, you can't leave. Yeah. Yeah, it's really cool. You actually have to stay in Austin. Yeah, that's like a really cool one.

That's how they got me here. Yeah, like if you die in the game, you die in Roodle Live. I'm really live. I need you to, this is really important. If you see Chris at RTX, I do need you to ask him how his phone's doing. Yeah, and then when he takes it out,

I need you to fuck it, spike it on the ground. Please don't do that. I'd say it's that part. I endorse it, but I didn't say it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. There's also a bunch of other stuff. There's the face frame is hosting

their own like eating pub area, which I think is super rare. Yeah, they're gonna, I don't know if I'm allowed to say it. They're gonna have some free stuff there. Ooh, some free ice. Stuff we all get. Some free beer. Whoa! I know if I'm allowed to say this.

Whoa, this is what happened with a sponsor name redacted at the last artisans that had, I found out that they give up free beer, and then every moment I wasn't actively on a panel. I was It's the I found that I found that there was beer The last day. Well now you know even before yeah, there's like one day last time so I'm gonna drink beers every day Yeah, look look under here We're also gonna have

Dungeons and daddies is coming yeah And we're working on some potentially cool stuff with them, sharing the show with Stinky Dragon. And then, of course, this is no surprise. It hasn't put an announcement yet, but we're doing a live episode of Always Open. And Maryl will be there. Wow.

And you might have Chris, but he hasn't seen the MMI. Yeah, I've seen him have gotten the text. It'll be there, you know. I actually think I have got to apologize. I will see. Actually, the MMI expired at this point, I've gotten the text. It'll be there. I actually think I have got to apologize. I will say that. Actually, the invite expired at this point, Chris. I am. I do have a bone to pick with Wes right now,

because he hasn't been approving any of the experiences that I pitched. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. I achieved a lot of great flood ride, which is where you hand over all of your most valuable possessions and then we sink them in water.

I like it. There's the Fun House experience, which is where we send you to a different location, really far away. And then don't really tell you much and expect you to help with the red way. That's good. Yeah, there's kind of funny,

which is an experience we had years ago That's how you experience that one is what's the squat scene for We tell you you're not allowed to be funny anymore And then you need to do check out dance The That's pretty good actually. Thank you. Yeah, I was gonna joke about it. But we actually are having an ol' good no worries thing on the show floor too.

That's awesome. Yeah, trying to make it kind of like a little summer camp area. Juxicide. I have been, I have, I don't think I've ever been, it looked there it is. Oh, look at that. That's exactly what it looked like.

Yeah, exactly, it'll be that small too. Yeah. Come on in. That'll be it. I don't think I've ever been this excited for like, like invention before ever. Yeah. There's a lot of stuff that was going on.

We, all four of us, were sort of privy too. Something that we can now talk about, which I think is awesome, is Bat Squadch. Oh, yeah. Bat Squadch, which I love, and I don't. Chris does not know how Bat Squadch is based of the wide eyes he gave Gary. And I don't think Gary knows the other.

So there was a, they're all privy to it. Yeah. There was a video that came out of me touring around Austin and seeing all the cool things to do. And I was followed by a creature known as the bat squad. It only found out about after the fact, right? Exactly. Oh, Link. And I think one of the funniest parts of bat squad that people don't know is the impetus for bat squad, which is that we were all in a meeting where we were talking about this. And you know, we're all throwing out ideas. It's also a long meaning. It's been a long day.

And then somebody goes, and now we got this next idea. And like, I know, I know it's gonna be, you know, whatever. But so we made up a character named Bat Squadch. And then they slide to the coolest fucking thing. It's basically like a bodysuit of Sasquatch, the head of a bat, these big terrifying wings. Yeah, giant wings, yeah.

And then like a bandana around to make it cute and funny. Yeah, from the summer camp. Everyone in that meeting had their own individual idea for bat-squatch content. That's how you know. And they're letting us basically do whatever we want with the character. You might even see bat-squatch at RTX.

I hope you do. Roman around. I hope that is air-conditioned. Yeah, I'm a part of it. And also like who knows who's quatch at our tx. I hope you do Roman around I hope that is air condition And also like who knows who's in the suit no one it could be No one because it's not a suit. It's bats. Oh, I'm at no Yeah, I'm like shit. I'm at no one could know, but I like what I I think Chris right now is is wondering if he's bats I think Chris right now is wondering if he's Bat Squadged. He's just doesn't know.

He actually just does his know. I'm just imagining the opening to like an always sunny episode where it's Chris's Bat Squadged. Dun dun dun. Dun dun dun. I absolutely love this. And I just, I don't know, we've seen,

I think Bat Squadged in a couple of different of the promos that we've done. What's really interesting is the two that I've noticed are like the one that I did, which is very funny, and then the one that Redweb did, which is very terrifying. I'm on brand. Yeah, so you can really get to see like this character does different things. And also my favorite part of the promo that we do, which we haven't seen it, go check it out. It's on all of Rissertis, socials, and RTX events.

Yeah, Instagram, Twitter, etc. I'll check it out. Oh, my favorite part is we went down to Capitol Hill. We initially wanted to go to the Convention Center, but I was like, that's, it's a building. The stuff that's interesting is on the inside. Right. Right. The outside is just a building. Right. Also, the stuff that's interesting isn't there yet. Yeah, yeah.

It would just be a big empty room. Well, we don't know what convention was there that weekend. It was like the National... And some surgeons convention. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something stupid. So, you went to Greg Abbott's house. So instead we went to Capitol Hill.

Yeah. And we decided that we would go out there and they're like, well, what would we actually like, what would we make? Or like, what's the bit? And I was like, well, we have a clipboard. Why don't we send bat go out there and they're like, well, what would we actually like, what would we make? Or like, what's the bit? And I was like, well, we have a clipboard. Why don't we send bat squats out there and like trying to get signatures? And then only screeches, right?

Yeah, only screeches. He only got clicks. Yeah, clicks. And then a real center of it, walked up to our bat squat actor and the person in the bat squat,, yes, to Bat Squatch. Walked up to Bat Squatch and the voice of Bat Squatch in English was trying to explain like, hey, we're filming this promo video blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And the center is like, I don't care, I'm in. And inside the paperwork, which was a video release form so that we could use the footage that we had just filmed of this That's so great. You find the one good Texas senator apparently Yeah, and they're part of the bat's watch trend now and is it in the video it is that it's included Yeah That made it into the thing and it was it was great because we were filming it It was happening behind me. I start to walk away and I hear Wes go, I'm not gonna look.

Almost like, almost like it's like, oh, so we are look over there and we turn around and we see our little fast quatch getting a real signature from an American politician. Dude, the fact that he was like, I don't care I'm in. Yeah. Hey, come to RTX a summer. Yeah.

Just wear a costume and go up to a Texas senator. Exactly. And sign something. Yeah. See what you could get. RTX, it's backed by the Senate. Yeah. It's official now.

We're a government sanctioned organization now. The second you said that you're out doing something in public, Chris was like, what? We're like, we're like social media. Yeah. I keep fighting to bring back the social disorder with our Mundo. Yeah, with me, but also with Chris. I think that you and I have a very similar sense of a need to create chaos,

but in different directions. Yeah, I think you'll have different boundaries, which is what's important. Can I also ask you a favor if you guys do end up bringing him back social disorder, please be careful. What? What? Texas is a different place it was. Sure. That a few years ago. Yeah. And if you mess with people, I just, I'm care about your safety.

It takes almost to shoot me. No, there's a couple of shopper going down a wrong driveway and ringing the wrong doorbell. Like, yes, please be careful. Okay, they might show off. They'll definitely shoot me. I'm such a bigger target And also you've gone you're gonna hide behind me. I know you He did tell me that I would do it too. Well, you'll just have to be strapped up to it's fine. Yeah, that is true We should go buy a gun. No, I don't want to come Well, then you buy I know it's easy, but I don't want one.

No, come on, come on. I don't want one. Jesus Christ, you're changing the subject immediately. Okay, fine, yeah, five tasers. Okay. You were saying about social disorder? I think it's a great show. And the part that makes me curious is I feel like,

we sort of inhabit different realms of chaotic energy, whereas yours is very boyish and fun and lighthearted, and mine is very evil and feels like I'm a skinned new out of money. I feel like you mix those two together and it creates a chaos tornado where it's like a hot air and cold air and fuck with each other and then make something

somehow more destructive than you ever thought, humanly powerful. Hell yeah. I think like between the two of you, you could get almost anyone to trust one of you at least. Yeah, 100%. I know both of you are very trustworthy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I was just saying like in extreme situations, right? Yeah. Some of them one of them trustworthy. Yeah, maybe the other not trustworthy. Our motto is a really good like con man and I'd be a really good inadvertent con man like you would con mean to conning other people yeah it would really be like you're on the show constantly and he's the one

host and he's just working through you the real The real twist at the end of the season is like, so Chris, I wanted to see how far I could push him. And he's doing little things at all seasons just to con him. That's amazing. There's only one episode in it. We find out we filmed nine episodes before this, but I actually told him not to film anything.

Now today's episode is me telling Chris that. It's like a rehearsal. It's like a rehearsal. You see the rehearsal? Oh, that sounds like a nightmare, Kerry. I know. That's what I see the real fear in your face right now. That is terrifying. I've done that.

Have you ever filming an entire thing and then finding out that you lost all the footage? Yeah. So I think that's happened to me once, but it was just like an episode of something. It wasn't like a whole series of things. Yeah, I don't know if it was a whole series. Did I ever... We've lost work before. There's a thing we filmed in college with Richard Drifus. Oh, no. That you lost? Yeah. Fuck. And again, it wasn't anything great, but like we like, we kind of like, if I told this story, I don't know, we chased Richard Drifus down.

We kind of like, if I told this story, I don't know. We chased Richard Drifestown. I don't remember. It looked like a contest. Like he was speaking at UT. No, no, he was speaking UT. And then we tried to interview him, but he left to go to another thing at UT. So we went to that thing.

And we're like, hey, we're here again. And then he talked with us. And we ended up talking with us. And having a conversation with us. And he goes, okay, thank you. and then he talked with us, and we ended up talking with us, and like, having a conversation with us. And he goes, okay, thank you. And then he goes, I never clicked record. He was like, kinda like that, but then it got recorded over,

and then we said, we never, your foot's gonna tape. And I couldn't remember exactly what happened. All the remembers that, like, I remember him yelling at us through his like, cars, like, I'm saying, like, I mean, like, it was something like, I admire your gumption, at us through his like cars like. And they say that one line is so much content. Like I admire your gumption or something like that.

Or he was just like now now the chats a blaze right now because you know we can all I know we all know who Richard drivers is. But you know who's your driver's? Richard drivers. He's in just for those. He was in jobs. Was he the shark? No. Uh, who's your true driver's? Richard Rives, he's in, uh, he was in, uh, just for those who's in jobs. Oh, yeah. Uh, was he the shark?

No. He, he was in jobs. He was also in, um, uh, uh, Mr. Hollins Opus. Uh, he's a, uh, uh, uh, famous actor. Oh, that guy. Okay. Like the 90s. I mean, yeah, of course, that guy.

Yeah. Um, that's okay. I couldn't play that for some reason. I, I, I actually, I might have told the story before. I told it, my, I told it wrong. I actually had to like, my buddy, Zach Anner, I had to be like, hey, what was the deal with Richard Dryer? I don't remember that story. And he refreshed my memory recently.

Okay. You also had to run in with Matthew McConaughey. Oh, not me, not me so much. That was more, well, I was Aaron. Yeah, it was both of us, but I didn't actually cause it. I just got the second hand in bearishment of it. Did I ever tell you this story? No.

So, Richard Drive, I'm sorry. Maddie McCompton. They get mixed up all the time. So, this was something college. Matthew McCompton Haye was doing some sort of thing with the school, he's a professor now. But this was a pre-cursor from that, like back in like 2008. From Austin.

Yeah, he went to UT. Having only seen Dyson confused, I feel like he does a lot of stuff with school. Normally. See, they gave him the degree after he did interstellar because he looks really smart in that. Yeah, so they're like, God, that was so good. He's very good, but be sure to watch it on your stately. Okay, and so he was doing something at the school for the movie Surfer comma dude. He was doing it on his stately.

Yeah, this is like, when they were college, I think, right? Yeah, it's, we were called. And there was like, some sort of like little like, it was a classic, but you didn't actually get credit for it. You just did it if you wanna do it, or that's a cool, you know, education. And it's a, after we watched a movie, we read this script and then like had like a little like,

watch like Q&A session with the writer director and Matthew Cunhane. And at some, during the thing, you know, this Matthew Cunhane was like, you know, it's good to like Cunay was like, oh, it's good to get my hands in. And the creative. I like how a christian busts out of Fantastic. That was really good.

And then my hands in the clay and helps sculpt the movie. It'll make something mild. And then, he was talking about that. Because this is actually done mostly like studio movies. And then, I remember what Aaron taught me. I did social disorder with that. I was sitting next to him. And we had a similar with like white guys, dark hair.

We were sitting next to each other. And he raised his hand during the Q&A. And I was like hey Matthew This question, you know like you mentioned get your hands dirty in the clay at any point when you were making this movie You know, you're like setting out you're doing this like statue David sculpture Did you realize you kind of made like a shitty ashtray for your mom? And I was just like oh my god, and I was just like, oh my god. And I was just like, how, like, try bending my body away from, like,

making sure that people don't think you're positive. They are. Like, like, if you were Aaron, I was like this to the person. I was just like, lean, I was hugging the person on the opposite side. And it just got real good. And I was just like lean I was hugging The person on the opposite side And it just got real quiet. Yeah, it was the answer

Well, there's a long beat of silence and he was just like Well I thought it was pretty good You didn't even say that But this reminds me of the guy who came to see that It was a lot of, it was pretty good. I didn't think it was all right, all right. You didn't even say that. But that's easy. This reminds me of the guy who came to see that Evil Dead movie, at South Byron,

was like, movie sucks. Yeah. Movie fucking sucks. It's like, don't do this, like, to be fair. It's like, to be fair. Oh, I'm sure it was awful. But also, like, people only hear that to their face.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, yeah, you don't have to, like, you're talking about, you're talking about Warner Brothers evil dead. Oh, no That was that was the other thing is that movie's actually fun. We're talking about that was for common though Oh, sir for common dude. Yeah, sir for common dude That was actually like Like saying like rightfully so the movie was shitty so like he's wasn't wrong for the opinion But to tell it to the person's face. To the people who made it.

It's like, yeah, it's kind of just like. No, I get what's going on. I just wanted to make clear that the four of us are a huge fan of Warner Brothers. He was a man of the rise. In April 21st. 26, like, oh no, it was first. 21st. No, I had to re-record the TikTok.

We love it. No, that movie was just a fun movie. I think it was fun. I genuinely loved it. Did you guys movie was just a fun movie. That movie was fun. I genuinely love it. Did you guys see Guardians this weekend? No. I didn't even know it came out. But I don't have a phone.

That's true. Honestly, I was going to get you a shirt for it. But honestly, I don't think I would know about it. You're on the laptop. You're on this stuff. You're on this stuff. We can, I have no clue. Bitch, a newspaper.

You still have a bio newspaper. You have a laptop. You also have a bio newspaper. You have a laptop. You also have a laptop so you could be on it. You can talk to me. I know I'm with a real laptop. Yeah, but I'm like, get news in the bed of my laptop. You can't, you can't. It's a laptop.

It's a loomie cut. That's when I get, no. I don't want to have a laptop in bed. I'm in a fall asleep and knocking it over and breaking it. Okay. Do you sit in bed and immediately fall asleep? That seems like what you're gonna do. No, I don't Barbara. I That's why that Chris is fighting. I do this. This is what happens. We don't have a phone for that. I sure you're irritable. I just don't sleep.

The other day I had a place called Antipasta Shots at Hot Hands Hockens who for the great recommendation hell yeah, I ordered way too much pasta I fucking devoured all of it and then I went Mando gonna lay down for a second I laid down at five p.m. and went I'm just gonna take a little and then woke up at three in the morning Just lost my entire night Yeah, that's the worst a Saturday by the way, and then you wake up and you're like, always? What am I gonna do now? You are awake at incredibly thirsty.

Yes, and sweaty and uncomfortable. Oh yeah, it's not a good sleep. No. It's a sleeper, yeah, it's the sleep's not your time yet and then I have made this comparison before On different shows, but like I know that I'm out of shape because sometimes I I wake up like a character who just regained consciousness on an island It's the wake up where it's like and then the camera zooms out and reveals that I'm not wearing a shirt.

I'm alive. Yeah. You're on an island after shipwreck. Yeah. If you ever need recommendations for food to eat and fall asleep to, let me know. Please, dude. My favorite part about being here is that people keep going, oh, that place actually fucking slaps.

And then I go, you hungry? And then we eat there. Have you eaten high wings yet? In my life. From Austin. Oh, it's a restaurant. H-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I phenomenal. I cannot express to you how delicious these wings are but they will make you feel like shit after you eat them because they are just grease. I love that. But like if you're if you're like cheat meal or like you're

just like fuck it I want to say. Yeah go crazy. Every meal for me is a cheat meal because I am not loyal. I'm just saying this is probably not good for your arteries if you eat them every night. Sure every other night got it every other night Yeah, okay, that is still slightly better. I'll smell it at lunch. So good. I never even I if you guys want to order some I'm down I absolutely do. Yeah, I especially want to look at the wings and go where these from and they go high wings and they go me too So much I tumble 22 is also very good tumble 22 is fan of you like spicy chicken. Oh, I love spicy chicken tumble 22 is the one I will make you poop you oh yeah, oh yeah, we'll make you poop you'll make everything Miss me poop I have been and I have the weakest stomach. I'm glad to have a tolerant. I don't have a bidet

I'll bid you a bidet. Yeah, you can I won't use it. Why? Because I like wiping my ass with paper I mean you can still do that. They're not mutually exclusive. No, you're wrong. You should do it. Quick power wash. How do you wash your hands? Because I sure as heck should.

And the bedad. I don't use water and soap to wash my hands. I use dry paper and I go. And then I'm proving the point of the bedad right now. I don't know what you're saying the point of the bidet right now. I don't know what you're saying. Okay. Okay.

I feel like when I say I don't want something people get me an even nicer one to prove. You're getting a lot of. I have washed my hands in the journal before. Why? Just go without. No, no, no. It was an accident carry You're making that's worse

The worst one is after the mr. Beam comment. I saw the whole scene me too I'm going up to the sink trying it not working looking around And then as soon as he steps away the sink goes Yep, yep, and then he goes to the urinal, looks around checks outside, nobody's there tries the urinal to wash his hands the second he starts doing it, someone walks in and goes And he does one of these

No, I wish it was, I wish it was that funny I was in Fuck, dude I think I was in fifth grade, I'd moved to Mississippi Oh, you'd moved to Mississippi. Oh, you're trying to make friends, huh? No. So, I go to the bathroom, the first day school,

new school, like, I know anyone. One or two. Well, this day, I G, I go to the bathroom, on the first day, I'm like, hey, can I go in? I go in. There's like, hey, can I go in? I go in. There's like no one there. And I go in and I'm like, I go to the bathroom and I pee and I walk out and I see that their sink is this like

long sink with flowing water. And I'm like, this is a weird sink. I've never seen a sink like this before. So I go in and I'm like, put my hands in the water, washing my hands. And I remember like a kid walking in, the bathroom, and I'm washing my hands, and he gives me a look like you are, like, and I was like, I know I'm the new kid.

Was there ice in the bathroom? I know I'm the new kid. I'm like, I'm the new kid. He don't know, I think I'm weird, because I'm the new kid. What is silly guy? And then, and and then I go to the bathroom after lunch when there are a bunch of people I'm like, wait, why is everyone

peeing in the sink? And then I was like, wait a second, that's not the sink, that's the urinal. To be fair, it's not your fault that you're fucking elementary school bathroom had a toilet like Dodgers State. Yeah. That's not your fault. Do you know about this in guys' bathroom? I think so. It's like a trough. Yeah.

It's a long trough, but everyone pees in a trough. No, it's like everyone pees in it, and everyone sees each other's penises. Yeah, yeah. Because it's just like, There's no barriers. There's no barriers. It's just like a big, it's a trough.

It is like a real trough where you just fit in where you fit it in. Yeah, you go in. That's like the worst thing for elementary school. They have them, it's like easy mode, fucking was a slushy. Bullying? Yeah, 100%.

The reason the thought process is behind that. It's not if you like step up and be like, I don't like, I wash my hands and the fuck. It's like the roundabout for P.P. Where it's, the theory is, is that it'll, it it'll it's for areas where like you want it you're gonna have high traffic but you want high turnover. So the theory is is that you like you're not supposed to convey or belt it where you kind of like walk through

don't do that. But in theory it's like fine spot P go and then yeah I'm sure you can get fit more in. Yeah, it seems to make sense. Like if I was at a normal year and I was physically touching another human, that day's over. And that's how it was that day. You had to just squeeze in and go, but that's what I was saying, at a trough, I'm assuming that I'm gonna be shoulder to shoulder

with other men. Yeah, you got people. Oh my dex what? What the fuck? We would say that. You would say that. And see if they can go cross the entire length of the trough. Yeah. And then you get people peeing on other people while they're peeing. It's like chaos.

You know, it's like you guys have stuff like this in the men's bathroom. I still guarantee you. And any women presenting individual could agree with me. The women's bathroom. 20 times as well. They're fucking gross. Women, we all have to count you. We are fucking nasty. People don't flush things get everywhere. There's also periods that happen. Yeah, but.

See, I think the difference is, they're like, they're different kind of gross. We're like, I've been in a women's restroom before, and I, brag about it. Fuck, thank you. And I thought that it would be cleaner. There is this legend that boys have that like,

the women have a couch in their hands. They're some types of couches. It's beautiful, yeah, sometimes. But. I think it also depends on the place. Yes. Like a women's bathroom at like a sports stadium, awful. Gross. Or like a school awful. But like a hotel. I think, you know, anything like that,

they're pretty, what I'm talking about. The 20 times grosser factor that you guys have is that like, this might, I'm hoping this is funny. I think it's shame. I think it's because there's so much stuff that people are in the bathroom ashamed of that is going on, and in the boys' restroom, it's less shame, it's just a boys' restroom turns into Lord of the Flies in an instant

where we're fucking disgusting and gross and we'll hound on each other. It's kind of a pun, too. It's kind of a what? Pun. Pun? Lord of the Flies. Oh, fuck. Say you got your fly.

I think that a women's restroom is just gross because there's just more stuff going on or people are like I don't know if I'm supposed to flush this down the toilet or put it in the little box. I was in there for one second and it was the most confusing thing because there's a trash can. There's a box where you're supposed to dispense certain trash. Then there's like but you're supposed to put yes your toys. Yeah the toys that were inside your vagina. Yeah. But then there's also,

No more than eight hours. That's wild. The corks. There's just, there's also extra stuff. There's toilet paper, there's seats. Then there's other stuff sometimes in there too. In case you need it, it's just, And no one uses any of it properly.

No, it's overwhelming. Yeah. Not even us. No only options. Yeah, too many really. I think we're just nasty peeps. I think everyone's in general. Human progress. Yeah, are just nasty. I think we're just nasty peeps. I think everyone's generally the board. Yeah, are just nasty. I think maybe the expectation that the women's

restroom would be clean and pristine, but it's not quite the opposite. It's okay. I think it's okay. We don't be a little dirty sometimes. I think it's fun that we've tried to like domesticate ourselves in that way of like, we should be shitting in a hole in the ground. But that's what that that's how that's been pretty shit I've had before. Yeah, she got so much time. I liked it too. If I had my way, I would always piss outside.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I've done both. Shooting outside is not my favorite. It's hard to get thrown at an angle. Yeah, it's not fun. It's not fun. It's not pooping on your ankles. Yeah, or you end up like falling over in your feet.

No, I got it. You can't man, anything you have to. Falling over into your boots. If you're squatting, it's like that. It's squatting. Yeah, I'm hoping. I'm hoping. No, I'm hoping if you're taking a poop in the woods.

That's what I was talking about. Yeah, you're squatting. You're having to balance. There's a lot going on. It's really hard to shit in the woods when you're tired. I think you guys aren't, so when I say I've shit outside a lot, I fully commit to the point where I pants off. I'm not doing this thing where they're like around my ankle

so I can pull them right back up. Oh, you fully take them off the feet. Yeah, because I'm not getting shit on my pants. That's why I do a whole two. Yeah, well, of course. Yeah, I don't do that. I like getting progressively make it. I like going, yeah, this is a shirt off. I can't, that's a certain type of shit. It starts it starts with oh this is right ankle out of the shorts move the shorts to the side

And then it's throwing them off and it's sure I take my fucking So it's kind of shit to where you're like yeah doing the like wall to yeah, but I yeah I'll put my pants you take your hat off Malay. No, I turn it around. Like an ash catcher over here. Yeah. Ask Blastum. And I take my pants fully off and I get into like a squat so that I'm not getting anything on.

Find a tree trunk to hold as you should. That's a smart move, but I'm afraid of bugs. I find a little skinny one. Okay. Not that there's, that makes a difference, but less bugs. I also feel like while we're talking about pooping in the woods, sure. It's like, you want to make sure you don't,

I don't know, you like pull your butt apart. Excuse me. So you, you want to make sure that you don't get anything left behind in there. Why is that any different from when you normally should? So you want to... Because you're not, because when you sit, the toilet is sort of spread in yourself a little bit. Yeah, versus when, like, if you're just standing in the woods.

But if you're squatting, it'll do it. Well, some of us can't squat very good. It's so, it also... Yeah, it's like... Hey, I'm going to regret this. I've been, I thought about before this, I was going to bring this up, but it's now so relevant that I'm gonna read this. I've been, I thought about before this, I was gonna bring this up, but it's now so relevant that I have to.

Uh-huh. Because I, you know, before the podcast, I went and made. You made. You did, Bumble. I do do. I did. Do you all, do you all stand or sit to wipe?

Oh, sit. But I used to stand. I stand. I do both. I like half-stand but I used to stand. I stand. You stand? Yeah. I do both. I like half stand. I used to stand. Yeah. And also, I want to point out, this is a huge point of debate that people go through because like the sitters don't understand people who stand and the standards don't understand because the standards are like, when you get your hand in the toilet, how do you get down there when you're sitting? But the sitters are like, how are you standing? We're not actually standing when we wipe.

It's this. It's a half squat for audio listeners. Yeah, you're not standing at full tension, up straight where your butthole closes back up. And I think you and I as wipe daywalkers, having experienced both sides. I think we have the unique perspective of like, it's different shits.

It's also like, you could do both, start off with sitting. Yeah. And what point do you say to stand and why? When you wanna make sure you've gotten everything. But why can't you do that while sitting? Because you, if you're leaning, you can only get so much. It is a limited thing.

Maybe I have long arms. Yeah. I don't know about that. Hey Chris, just try it. a limited thing. Maybe I have long arms. Yeah. I don't know about that. Hey Chris, just try it. Just try it. Again, you're not fully standing. You're just kind of like up a little. Okay, hey, wait, wait, wait.

Okay, look at this guys. You need to change your oil in your car, right? Yeah. Would you rather just dive under it? Or would you rather get up on a lift and get access to it? You know? Like imagine not having the toilet seat in the way. Even better thing, it's like, you gotta do something

under the hood of your car. Do you want to like prop it up or do you want to just like have somebody kind of hold it with one arm? It's like, it may be only halfway up. If I gotta like screw something on, I'm like boom, done. I'm gonna do some work. I just remember something about my childhood.

Yeah, oh God. Is it when you drank from a urinal? No, but I do remember the how I learned how to poop as a kid, like as like a three year old or whatever. Whenever I was like potty training, cash real quick, are you one of those kids that like you remember your birth? No, I remember you remember when you were a kid. I learned when I potty trained, I did it like this.

Chris is squatting. Completely squatting. You're basically, you're doing the Asian squat. Which is like apparently good for a while. That's good. This was my natural, like I learned how to, how to boom boom while squatting and then I had to teach myself to sit

Don't worry Cameron. He won't be like this for like a three or four year old or something I just read I forgot about this until just now. Well, it's also it makes a lot more sense when you remember that you were raised by gargoyles Being out of the top of building I I mean you can get squatty potty you can kind of do you have a squatty potty. You can kind of do it. Do you have a squatty potty? Yeah, yeah. Oh, probably. You think I'm a squatty potty.

But I'm just saying, I just forgot about that memory. I just like, that memory just came to mind. Yeah. I, that must be, those have been so hard for your parents to be like, they're proud of you, but also like he's doing your wrong. He's also like, you're going to be like, you're going to be like, you're going to be like,

you're right. He's still vindicated with time. Right. Right. But in the moment, yeah, they're like, well, he's not shitting on the fucking floor anymore That's better. Yeah. Oh man my my brother He is a kid Lordy my brother is a kid a very cute kid and there they were like are you training recently? Okay, and

16 he texted me and my sister recently that they were going through potty training and at some point he had, you know, he was like going without pants. Like that's because that's like a more method of potty training. You go like a week and without pants. So that when they poop, they have to, you know, you know, they're a face, face, face returns. So when they poop, they have to, you know, you know what, they're in a phasor sense. So when they poop, they have to, they're out of their some like method of like,

where you try and get them to go to the bathroom and they're like, I'm just catching. I'm basically, you take away the diapers, right? Yeah. You take no diapers so that they're like more aware of, they break their like, oh, I'm not wearing a diaper,

you're not really decided. And so I get new clothes. Anyway, he pooped on the floor. Naturally. At some point, during the potty training process. Yeah. Then he got his toy vacuum. I tried to vacuum it up, which really meant he got his toy vacuum and rubbed it all over the floor.

Can you please please tell me this was hard with floor and not carpet? I he didn't specify because there's it depends on the floor. Can you please tell me this was hard with floor and not carpet? He didn't specify because it depends on the room. I think it got everywhere because I think there's some rooms at carpet. I think what happened is they came upon this crime scene. That was like supposed to be fair. Kid was trying to clean up. He knew he made a mess. He knew he made a mess. that was like supposed to be, you know, and like to be fair, kid was trying to clean up. He knew he'd made a mess.

He knew he made a mess. So then he tried to clean up with his toy vacuum. Like he'd seen happen. Yeah. You know, he knew the vacuum was for cleaning. Yeah. He knew he'd made a mess. And he tried to clean it up.

I love free birth control. I think what's really, I promise, I promise this is gonna get a little blue and I know where we've been before, but I promise it's, I'm gonna get right out of it. I think it's really funny that, you know, we teach everybody to like, we teach children and poop, we teach them how you're supposed to poop. We have to, but we have to indoctrinate you into this cult of pooping into a horse-like cult. Yeah, where we go, this is normal way to do it,

because as a small thing, you're like, well, you put the fucking thing on me. And I can shit where I need to. Right, you're keeping it right for me for the last thing. And then you go, no, you gotta put it in the monster. You gotta go somewhere. Then it'll fucking, it goes, and then your poop disappears. Yeah. I need to wipe your own ass.

Yeah. And the concept of like that of like teaching a human of the little tiny, cause they're stupid too. Like let's not mince words. Kids are dumb as shit. Yeah. Dude, you look at any animal that gives birth to a baby, it's walking.

It's walking already. And ours, this baby comes out, can you play Mario Kart? Can't even roll over. Yeah. Can't even do anything. It doesn't have to be for 27 years. They have to tell me time they gotta do. Mine stupid ass.

They gotta put him on their tummy. Mine stupid ass came out. I was yellow. I was a Simpson chair. John does. I was a John does. Wow. I couldn't even do, I couldn't even do,

being a human. Right. I came out, I got damn cartoon characters. I'm gonna shit on the floor. And yeah, and then I shit everywhere and I think I I have always thought that that's so interesting especially cuz like it's no secret that I'm a man who's shit my pants a lot as an adult and I don't Think it's hey man, don't worry about it. Oh, yeah, there's a lot of company here. I think it's not cool Like I can't how am I gonna have how am I gonna be a dad because eventually my daughter's gonna come in Maybe like how come we can't poop on pants anymore and I go I don't know

If this is too personal you know to answer it, but do you guys want kids? Or is it like TBD I go back and forth back? Yeah, I'm gonna put some on moment I'm gonna wait that you slurred that I like the way that you slurred that. I don't know. I don't know. Well, I'm just saying, like, there are times where I'm like, yeah, it'd be cool, but also times I'm like,

I don't want to deal with that. Talk, I don't know. Yeah. I know that adoption exists, and for the sake of what I'm about to say, it's just a bit mostly, but like, I really only want to get them when they're cool. But like, I want to. But you still want it to be yours?

I don't care. Mr. Arley. I like the making of them. Yeah, that part is great. Yeah. Like, like how long until there's a service where you give birth to a kid and you hand them off. And then when they're like eight, they come back to you. Yeah. Yeah. And what happened is is they 3D print your fix. Yeah. And so the kid has only his thought that you have been their parent this whole time. But now you get them, but yeah, that's not cool.

Yeah, this has to be cool. Like, gaslight my child. Also, you know what? Oh, so you lied about Santa, no problem. You lied about being there for the first eight years. Oh, suddenly it's a big deal. You're just fucking problem. What are they more upset about?

Well, because then they put a dollar under your pillow. You fucking, where did that dollar came from? Yeah, came from your fake parents. Yeah. That's the first lie. You're on the fence? I think, I am on the fence, but it has more to do with like, okay.

Making a child is a dude rocks. It's literally the thing that every time you do it, your brain goes, yeah! Yeah! And you fucking high five yourself mentally, and it fucking is. It's literally the thing that every time you do it, your brain goes, yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Making a child for a woman I've found out is the worst thing in the world. It's rough. It's, I've, I've, I've have friends that have, that have been pregnant and just, just gave birth. And it's just like everything leading up to it, all of feeling horrible.

And then the actual like birth of it where like there's so many things that at least in my knowledge were not publicly shared like you're going to shit yourself. You're going to, you're going to fucking. You're gonna, you're gonna fucking poop yourself in front of a room full of people. You're almost definitely gonna shit. Someone's gonna rip. Yeah. And again, in a room full of people, like the doctors and their use to it, they don't care.

But I don't care. Like if, it's the same reason why like prison is my nightmare, not because of like, I'm afraid of getting stabbed because I don't think I could shit in front of other people. It's also like, once you, and it's funny, we actually had this conversation with Hannah McCarthy, who's back at Ruchite now, on Always Open, because she also just had her first child.

And she talks about how, after you have a baby, you're just on your own, first of all. You're just on your own, and it's like this huge life change. You're going through so much hormonal changes and life changes, but also that there are checkups for the baby at like one month and three month and like, but there's nothing for the mother. There's no checkups on like how you're doing health wise or mental health wise or anything like that. And so it's just like you just went through a very insanely traumatic experience, both like physically, mentally, emotionally, everything. And like, there's nothing really for you.

There's no resources in that sense. And also like, no matter what. Like I'm sure they exist, they just, you have to find them in paper, of course. No matter what you do, too, like it's such a, there's no way to feel like you're doing parenting 100% and if you do feel that way, you could, you know for sure you're doing it wrong.

Yeah. And so it sucks and like, I think the reason why doing parenting 100% and if you do feel that way, you're definitely not. You definitely not. You're definitely not doing it wrong. Yeah. And so it sucks and like, I think the reason why I wanna have a kid is cause, I think it is a little cool to pass on my shit head legacy. I think that rocks a little bit, create a little meme that goes out there and then, you know, I'm hoping that I get famous enough

that I make a NEPO baby. That's a dream. I make a baby where they like, they kill it in an HBO series, but you're like, yeah, but you know who fucking dad is, right? Yeah, of course. It's that guy who got caught shitting in the woods. But also, the reason I don't wanna do it right now

is because I know about myself that the moment things get difficult, I'm bad at comforting people. Because I have problems with empathy, where if I can't put myself in that, I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that.

I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. a time. That sounds like a U-pro. That's hard. I don't know. You try taking it now. You try doing fucking drugs and they're like, I can't. And I go, well, I'm just, it might be profan.

Try something. What about you, Bart? I can't do it. No. I think like the older I get and the more like, I know myself and what I want out of life, the less I want kids. Sure.

And I think this is just my opinion, but I feel like a lot of people will share it and I've talked about it before. Unless you really, really want kids, I don't think you should have them. I agree. I think it's something that you should know that you want. Whether, I mean, obviously if you're on the fence and then like you get to a point in your life, you're like, okay, I think I work. I know I want kids now. That's different than being like, oh, I don't know. Maybe... I think the way through generations of people people, they had to have kids.

Yes, like it was just part of life. Like you do this, you get a job, you get married, you have kids, and it's just like, this is what I guess being an adult is and having a family and doing this and see your fucking life. Yeah. I do really fuck you up with it. We'll see. I've been practicing. That doesn't even have sex. That's just been wearing like that. I was a pregnant belly. Practicing. Yeah. Practicing having a. Yeah. He's trying to get the shortest time possible.

Boom. Just speedrun. Yeah. I saw really cringeworthy, but very relatable interview with Seth Rogan on the Kelly Clarkson show. Talky Kong? Yeah. Yeah. The voice of talking Kong. Uh, I'm not how, like, he doesn't want kids.

He's never really wanted kids and like how he's never sitting around with his wife thinking like, oh, I really wish I had kids right now. But I'm sure there's plenty of parents who are thinking, man, I really wish I didn't have kids right now. The times I want kids are things where like, all right, I am, I'm terrified of my own mortality. That's something that I've talked with you about a bunch

is like, I hate that. And one of the things that like being around my friends who have kids or my family members who are having children or whatever, is you get to, like the way that you get your youth back is experiencing all of these wonderful things that you had as a child through the eyes of your child. And it's like this.

Like the carousel. Yeah, it's that doing that thing, experiencing this magic with a kid again, which is beautiful. And it's also like your, you know, you know what you went through as their age. and you always want to be better than your parents and be more understanding and sure. You know, whatever.

That's a big motivator for me as a... I think you raised snowflakes. Yeah, exactly. You know? As I know, I could be a better dad than my dad, but my dad made a fucking champion, dude. That's it. My dad made a six foot five fucking monster

who comes out here and he's smart and he's witty. And he only shit himself once a year? Yeah. I just... I have a thing. That's same. My dad made a six foot five fucking monster who comes out here and he's smart and he's witty. And he only shit himself once a year. Yeah. I just, I have a theory that if I had kids, I would become a person I don't like. And that's because like I feel like I don't have the patience for it. And I also got up with me, Barb. I'm there. I have little patience with Chris. We're like he was talking about like getting water and he was like holding up that glass with So, I'm up with me, Barb. I'm there. I have little patience with Chris. We're like, he was talking about getting water and he was holding up that glass with yang on it

and he's like, why is he yellow? Like, I don't understand. And you're like, oh, there's the emblem underneath it. And you're like, well, it's still weird. And I'm like, just go get the fucking laundry. Like, shut up. I think we're just sitting, you're talking. But yeah, I just feel like I would become

just like not a fun person. I think. And I don't know, I just feel like I would become just like not a fun person. I think. And like, I don't know, I don't like myself. This episode of The Roushautyth Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. It's so easy to get caught up in what everyone else needs from you and forget about your own needs. I know I've been guilty of this sometimes, so I'm putting other people before myself too much to where I end up mentally exhausted and very burnt out.

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That is betterhelp.help.com slash rooster. Take care of yourself. I know what you mean. I'm aware of that. I think the weird paradox too. I was talking with my mom about the, my mom said something really sweet, which is that she never wanted children. And then that was the end of the comp. No. Has she kids? I was talking with my mom about that. My mom said something really sweet, which is that she never wanted children.

And then that was the end of the call. No. Has she kids? Yeah. My mom said that she had never wanted children. She got pregnant really young. And I'm her only child. But what she said was like, I never regret having you

because you were exactly what I needed to get my life together. And it was really good for me. And I changed my life around. My mom had it really hard. And I give all props to my mom. The reason I am who I am, like to talk about like, oh my dad's a champion.

My mom is the reason why I'm great. My dad is the reason why I'm sad. And so like, which makes you an artist. Yes, exactly. I think the paradox of being a good parent is that you have to really give up a lot of yourself and dedicate yourself to being the parent and that is your role and

that is also really heartbreaking from like a mental health standpoint of you as an individual. It's similar to the same thing you were talking about with a mom where it's like it's to be a good parent. You really give your all to this thing but giving your all to anything is inherently not a great, like you lose who you are. Well, it's, it's, and Hannah actually talked about this too on always open of just like, once you're home with that kid, you have that kid, like life is completely different

and there is no going back to the way it was before, ever. And so it's just like you're, you're a new you, you have a new identity almost and like this is such a huge part of you. And Trevor and I talk about it all the time of like if we're having a hard day or like one of us is going through like difficult mental health situations or whatever it is and sometimes we stop and go could you imagine if we had a kid right now and like who's just shit on the carpet? Cool like using their vacuum. Could you imagine if we had a kid right now? And like, who's just shit on the carpet? Is that using their vacuum, which I'm trying to put in?

Like, you and I can't go just like, go relax on the couch and watch a show, or like, you can't go play your video games while I like watch gossip girl, or like, whatever it is. Or even simple things like travel vacation. Yeah, and it's just like, yeah, like you don't take time off work

and you have to like, a kid. Yeah. So it's like, both time wise and budgetary. Like, you're not gonna be able to go on vacation so you got what is it? Like it's like a million dollars a year or something? No, I think it's like a 100k. 100k.

I know I went way too over it. But I mean, I think they say it could be like upwards of 100k per year when you have a kid. Damn. I think when it gets older, typically. I'll go on a budget. I have a budget kid. I could raise a 10k your kid.

And again, I know it sounds a lot like other people like to do fucking things. So whenever kid, you're right. It's like if it's not something you're really, really wanting, you can't undo it. You can't undo it. And someone is directly going to suffer. It's tough.

It's not like, I mean, obviously there's just as much responsibility having a pet and like having to take care of this thing and being responsible for it. But like with pets, you could find someone to adopt it potentially, you could find. You're just giving some food and they're gonna be happy. Which I know you could do with kids too. Yeah, sure.

And with pets and children, I like, you can pack them with enough food to like, survive a week and throw them out. And then let them be fair. I just get one of those auto feats. Yeah. Yeah. That's how you get Chris. Yeah.

So it's just like, that's the stuff I think about. Yeah. Because obviously there are times where I see an adorable video of a baby. Oh, yeah. I'm like, I showed Trevor and I'm like, so he would show me one recently. It's going to actually put that up. This kid walks over and his dad I'm like, so cute. So cute. So cute. So cute. So cute. So cute.

So cute. So cute. So cute. So cute. So cute. So cute. So cute. So cute.

So cute. So cute. So cute. So cute. So cute. So cute. So cute. So cute.

So cute. So cute. So cute. So cute. So cute. So cute. So cute. It's like that's great. It's great to watch, but then you have to be the one to clean it up. I cleaned that up. I don't just get to laugh at it. You know what? I used to work as a, I had to tutor him. And if you think you're ready to have a child, go tutor the youngest children you can find.

Because I'm having to explain addition and I'm realizing that I'm not maybe the person that you're doing. Because it's like, in my brain, I'm like, all right, you got one, you's, uh, you got two. Uh huh. Yeah. How many of you have and he like,

whoa, how'd you do that? What do you mean? Do you have any shabby in this? I have two ones. I get two ones. A lot of them. And I go, yeah, what did you just say? And two, whoa!

They're like, they're so, they're blown away by it and they don't understand it and that confuses me. And it's like, it's, it's, it's, and that's every and that confuses me and it's like, it's, it's, it's, And that's everyday for everything. Yeah, it's all the thing. It's all the thing. It's all the thing.

Because they don't come with anything. That's the worst part is you can't back them up like Chris is dumb fucking phone. Yeah. They don't come with like 250 gigabytes of text messages. They go, they point at, open, go, what's that? And you go, it's like fucking liquid bread. I don't know, dude.

Why? Yeah, man. Why? Yeah, what do you? And you go, it's like fucking liquid bread. I don't know, dude. Man, what do you give a shit? Again, I'd be so impatient. Yes. But yeah. Yeah, I guess I keep going back and forth a lot. I don't know. I know I'm not ready right this moment,

so I'm going to get it. And that's totally fair. And even I'd say like, I mean, the way I think now, I don't want kids maybe in five years from now, I could be completely different, I think something different. Like, don't close yourself off from changing your mind if that's where you get to,

but also like, there's nothing wrong with not wanting kids. There's nothing wrong with it at all. And you should have to have her. You should have to have her. Yeah, yeah. Maybe you already have some. I'd buy it.

I don't think I do. Just go get his car on it. Just have what you can. Yeah, I did. Just go get his car on it. Just have a bunch of kids. I did, look up recently. Like, it's burned on the ship. Do you want a donate sperm? No, I got it. You want to this bit.

No, he beat himself off and then beat you to the bit. You know they went to school together, right? Yeah. Yeah, so what do you do? He donates to his permit in Los Angeles. He gets paid for it. Does he know if his right place? I remember looking at it in college and being like,

I don't want kids running around that, I don't know about. And like now I'm like, well, I get the best of both worlds. Yeah, he doesn't do it. You get to jerk off for money. Yeah, that's a good idea. That's a good idea. My favorite is, it's not on this phone, and now I'm starting to see your point about the text message.

But like, he once texted me that, like, we'd been talking about it, that he was like, yeah, I'm actually going there later today. And I was like, didn't know that actually going there later today and I was like Didn't know that and then he texted me like the internet's out. What am I supposed to do? And I was like I not text Fuck yeah, I don't know maybe use your phone to Did you text them like some material?

I think I set up a picture of season two of mind of men's sea I just sometimes I just said that it's my new butt. Oh yeah. Yeah. The secondary thing that I was thinking of is when you said the cutoff is 35, it's some for some dumb reason my brain went, oh milliliters. He's afraid. He's afraid too much too little.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is overflowing. Yeah. You can make so many kids with your donation. But can he still be doing it? Him? Yeah. He's the same age.

He stopped doing it only because. He retired. No, because he moved and it's out of his way to go to the sperm bank now. Oh, I get that. Yeah. If he was like on the way home, you stopped by like, yeah, no, I get that. Like, it's only if it's gonna mean you stop by.

Get the hell out of the little nut. Yeah, no, really though. That's gotta be, this is probably something that not only has this podcast talked about, but I may have talked about, but I don't care. That's gotta be up there for price per ounce. Oh, I'll still eat it. Yeah, like price is high, yeah, right?

Can you do privatized sperm donations? Yes, but it's more on a case-by-case basis where like, you can, there are precedents, it's like similar to surrogacy, where it's like you're negotiating the terms with the donor. Well, I'm just gonna put that out there for you once. Yeah. So Chris is working on this great RTX experience. It's not to make a baby. Not to speak for

them, but Merrill told the story on the always-up-and-she was on. But her and her wife Hannah are looking to have a child soon. I know a guy. Well, the plan there, I think they already have their sperm. I can't understand. You know what, that's why I feel like that. Well, I'll undercut the price. Give me a good deal. But anyways. The lowest bid?

Their plan is for her wife Hannah to carry. And for it to be Maryl's egg with the sperm donors, sperm, that Hannah would carry. The fucked up thing is that when the baby is born, Maryl has to adopt the baby because she did not birth it. Oh, interesting. Even though it's her egg, it's just because it had a birth the baby. It's very weird.

It basically is like, screws over a lot of same-sex couples for the situation that's crazy. Yeah. So even though it's her egg, the same way a guy sperm, yeah. She had a dog's baby. This is kind of ribbing you a little bit, but this is my favorite thing about certain types of white people where they'll find out about it in justice and go, no way.

Wait a minute. When I was in, I told the story of Vigil Boston and this guy was racist to me and I told my partner and she's like, oh my God. Are you gonna call the police? And I was like, he was like kind of racist in Boston. I'm not gonna get beat up by the police too. No, you just let it go. I'm surprised by that to me.

No, no, no, it's like. But it's also awful. It's like, but it's also awful. It's just like, it's amazing. Because it's like, this is not really dumb, can you not legally have three parents? I don't. That's interesting. I don't know.

Like, could they just all be a parent? I don't know. And then you have to like divorce. Apparently not. I don't know. That's so weird. That was good. Yeah, she explains it better than I can,

but it's basically just a really dumb fuckup system. I just want to say that, and I know Chris already did this bit, but I feel like I have a better, I think I'm a better candidate. I think. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Can we, I mean, Armato, can we put a rock, can we, can we, can we, can we put our, no, it's like a, it's a cocktail. It's a cocktail. Oh, God. Like a, like, yeah... No, it's like a cocktail. It's a cocktail.

Oh my God. Like a... Yeah, you just... Maybe like a race. You just... Just stir... Chris is motionally stir-up when you're... Yeah, they didn't show the full one, which is Chris went...

Oh, I'm fucking fucked. Like, like... When the camera's cut and it's 7 p.m. and we're all off work, y'all can do whatever you want. Yeah, I'm just saying while it's also getting 18 right here It's gonna be very clear if I win or what do you think who do you think would have like out of all the couples that you guys know Who do you think would have the best baby?

Me or or if they're or not maybe not a couple, but combination of two people that you know. See, I initially wanted to go complimentary and say you and Trev, but two beautiful people make a ugly baby. I want to. I mean, you would make it. Great kid. I think we would ruin a child. I think we would, first of all, I think we, for sure, we would lose it.

100%. You mean like, like, the make it like like make them like no no no no that's sad Like stronger like in Macy's and they go inside the center rack of clothes and then you leave I'm talking I'm talking animated sitcom okay drama series. We don't oh my god. We've lost the child Like that episode of friends when Joey and Chandler have to watch Baby God, we've lost the child. It was like that episode of Friends When Joey and Chandler have to watch a baby for... She got off the plane. Yeah, I think, first of all, D1 athlete, out the gate. That's what you get with me. Second of all, most of the sad stuff is my fault.

It's the stuff that I think about. Baby probably doesn't have, just don't do that. If it's baked into your jeans though. Yeah, I don't think it is if you and Griff had a baby That'd be cool. It's fucking baby hour. Oh, it'd be adorable. Yeah, be adorable and cool And Chris and me I want to be a third parent you can you want to be in that cocktail. Oh, yeah, put me a coach Oh my god, I'm gonna decide like too well. I'm not I'm inside like too long. I'm not, I'm just, the two halves of my family. It's giving me a book smart. Yeah.

The two halves of my family are Mexican and Germanic and I feel like they're bullets compared to whatever you are. I'm just like, those groups of people really like repopulating a lot. Yeah. I, yeah, I, I, I think, I'm trying to, you were like,

is the saddest baked into your jeans? And I don't think it is, because like, I'm sad as hell, but my uncles are like really happy. Really? The truth is, I mean, you seem like a happy guy. Maybe they just seem like happy people, but he's down or sad. Yeah, I'm sure it really be the happiest way to call them out, Barb.

I'm just saying, sometimes I have these people are in the sadness And sometimes sometimes you go hey, they drive away and then they turn the corner and they park and they Like that song plays from Oh You're talking about gum sugar. Foster, so yeah. Rolls are gold. Hello, Dr. Smite. Oh yeah, that's a remain. Yeah, we're all sad. Yeah, done, done. Done, done, done it.

Hello, Dr. Smite. I want to, before the podcast, and we have a couple of minutes left, I have a bone to pick with Chris. Oh, bones. I've a bone to pick with Chris. So, welcome to Chris Court. We have, we share an office, Chris.

Chris and I, a couple of us are in the same, Armando, you're going to be in that office with us soon. I just joined. I threatened to piss on a desk if they didn't give it to me. Yeah, and you're getting it. Yeah, John's on a desk. And so, shared office space, we also have these little like phone booths out here. I'm supposed to empty one of them.

I don't know what you're talking about. We have all these little phone booths out here where people take meetings. So you can book a phone booth and like take your laptop or your phone and there, whatever. Have you ever heard of any sound dampening? Got a plug in there?

It's okay, it's fine. It's pretty comfortable. I actually quite like taking meetings in there. Chris took a meeting from his desk in that office. And I don't know if you had like your volume way turned up, you were wearing like super noise canceling headphones, but this was Chris on the meeting. Yeah, I think that's a really good idea,

except I was gonna maybe add this section to this paragraph about this. Yeah, yeah, and I was like, I kept looking over and be like, why is he yelling? I texted this morning. This morning. Was I yelling in the meeting? I was not.

Were you in there? No, it's not so much this meeting as much as it is all meetings. That yelling meetings? Yeah. Do I really? I did. I did. I didn't sound like a guy who's really excited.

Yeah. Yeah. You were yelling. You were like full blast. But do I yell? It doesn't come through as yelling because I think your mic is turned down a little bit But you seem very energetic when you're talking. Well, that's no problem that Well other people in the room you can't turn you down

Yeah, yeah, yeah The issue all right. That's really so to be sure going to sound for firm. I think You walked in right before the meeting started and before that, known was in the room. Okay. Right? Because I feel like I walked in, I was like, oh, no one's here.

I'm just gonna take this meeting here on my laptop. And then you walked in and like the meeting started. Fair enough time. I mean, here's the thing. I don't really care if people take meetings in that room. Maybe. I would prefer they don't because it's a shared office space and I want to be able to talk and like whatever.

I get it too, because I've, yeah. Yeah, but like, I don't mind typically, especially if I'm the only other person in there, but I was just like, you were yelling at the top of your lungs. I was like trying to do something. You'd be like, you don't know, I think that's really a good idea. Yeah. I'm like, Christ.

You know, that's just like, I can't go into a bunch of detail, but it was what we were working on was all story-based stuff. So it's all stuff like, yeah, what have they been dead the whole time? So you're just getting snippets of story. Oh yeah, that was, I've always said, repeat anything. It sounds like you you're like the stereotype of a person who wears like a Bluetooth headset in like 2023 and like walk around in public. Yeah. Yeah. No, you don't have Bluetooth headset on. I didn't. I didn't. No, he just got Bluetooth headset.

I I now I want to ask you after hearing this critique. Are you going to make any effort? I will. I will. I will. I will. I will. I will. I will. So you'd be a great parent. Oh, okay. Me? Yeah. Okay. Well, no, no. What did you learn? Well, let's really test it. Say no. Ask him again. Say no. No. Are you gonna make a change for your life? No. Okay. Well, now Chris should himself. So we're gonna give that back. Yeah, what are you gonna do about it? I'm gonna get your toy back. I felt like they're like not if it's a proud as good fellow say, Hey, why don't you go get your toy back? Yeah, let's take care of that shit for you right now. That's really funny. I want to warn you. So the

three of us are going to share an office. And you should come visit, Carrie. I'll be around. Yeah. Absolutely. We'll have some love chairs. Now that I'm here, I'm going to try to come into the office more. I'm trying not to as much as possible because I am Drew said the Drew Sapplin said this and I has resonated with me forever. What? I am a, he was talking about himself, but he goes, I am a chronic, what's for lunch guy? And I realized that's who I show up and immediately I'm like,

what are we getting out of this place? Yeah. I don't think that's a bad thing though. I like having lunch with my friends. Yeah, like lunch is like a nice thing to have. Yeah. No, because at home lunch is sad. Right, lunch is, well no, lunch is I eat for 20 minutes, I go take a nap for an hour.

Yeah. And then I wake up and I'm thirsty and I'm sweating. Yeah, and all the things we talk about. You cut your own island. Yeah, but when you're at the office, it's like, yeah, let's go. Yeah, wait, wait. It's a nice little excuse to go like hand in. Let's all go to lunch on, it's so weird. And then, and I still look skeused to go like, hand in hand.

Let's all go to Long John Silver's and then come back and pass out for two hours because we all tasted blood. That's the thing. That's the thing for me. One thing for me is that I like you eat it long, long. Fish with blood. I would not recommend that. All I know is I was eating fish.

And at some point I went, it tastes like blood. And we all came back and I'm not joking well, it took a two hour nap. Oh, you put the vampire. Probably food poisoning. And he had a two hour nap. Oh, you've been a vampire. Probably food poisoning. And he sleeps during the day. Or maybe there's a bone in one of the pieces of fish and it cut you on the inside of the mouth.

You think the fish there's fresh enough that there be bones in it. Fair enough. It's just fish. It's paste. I think that it's like lunch is good and I do agree and I think that's a nice thing. But somehow, I work best at home.

The place where all of my games and drugs are is the place that I am the most attentive and focused, and I'm not saying I'm doing any of this thing. I'm just like, I'm there, I'm locked in, I'm doing work, I'm working, and you put me with a person, and I'm doing nothing. Yeah, what do you think about that? Yeah, it is hard not to like hang out sometimes. Yeah, my thing is I do, I'm the most efficient when I'm at work with no one around me.

Yeah, that because I'm not so- Not as other distractions. Mostly impossible. Well, that's why I do the best work before like 10 o'clock and after five. Yeah, when most people are not here yet or when there's less people and I'm buying my money. That's why those phone booths are nice. Like, if you could book, I sometimes just book one for an hour or two.

If it hasn't been booked by anyone, to just like do some work in there. Yeah, oh, yeah. It's a lot different for me because I go. Gosh. It's probably on the move. There's a bigger one in there. Chris just you know there's no seam in donation places here. I need to call for a couple of the little cups. We're gonna wrap up this podcast but we still got the post show after so if

you're not a first member sign up for first membership so you can watch up right here. Oh yeah pop. And'll see what happens. But thank you guys for watching and don't forget to buy your RTX tickets at rtxawesome.com. We hope to see you this summer. It's gonna be a blast. Bye. I love you. It's a killer time. It's come time. Move. music Do you like apples?

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