Rooster Teeth Podcast - Nature’s Gross - #427

Episode Date: May 2, 2017

RT Discusses Disgusting Things in Nature Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers, Will Arnett and Anthony Mackie comes the new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motor-mouthed outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church, twisted metal, streaming now, only only on peacock. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

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Jesus Becca. Look at your hair. I love it. I didn't notice that in real life. I just noticed it on this screen. I saw you like snap chatting over the weekend with your hair down and I was like, is that a filter or is Becca's hair really that long?

And I just never noticed that. Yeah, this morning, Sophie came in and was like, I just realized how much you wear your hair up. I had no idea it was so long. It's not. There's this thing in some people's cultures called extensions. Yes.

Wearing someone else's hair right here. Oh, right. It's real hair. You were talking about a... No. From a human head. You were talking about the human hair right here. Oh, right. You're talking about No, I'm a human head. You're talking about the human hair trade. I remember that. Yeah I went off on a little Twitter rant. Nobody liked excents are so great Yeah, they're pretty awesome. You guys will never know the joys of it. Maybe they could We should put those in Gavin's hair. I think I had extensions for Lazy team. Yeah, I was gonna say it was your mullet real.

Extended. It looks so bad. I years ago, I was dating this girl, who she, one day all of a sudden, she was like, I wanna cut my hair. I wanna do something different. I wanna cut my hair really short. And I was like, I don't think you should do that.

She's like, no, no, I'm gonna do it. I was like, all right, you know, do your decision, do it every want. So she cut her hair super short, and then literally the next day, we're like walking by hair salon. She was like, no, no, I'm gonna do it. I'm like, all right, you know, do your decision, do whatever you want. So she cut her hair super short, and then literally the next day, we're like walking by hair salon. She was like, she looked at it. She's like, I wanna get extensions.

I was like, all right, this isn't working out. I was like, that was it. I was like, you put a cup of that for that. I broke it, that was the reason. I was like, you are so unable to commit to something. Like, I knew it was a bad idea. I told you, you did it anyway, and now you're gonna spit like,

it's just an enormous waste of money at that point. But women just want to experiment and try new things and they like do something I just don't like it. I can fix it. No, and it was her decision just like it was my decision to no longer be dating her Wow, that has to be the single worst reason to break up with someone I think I know I've had tons of bad ones What's the best shallow reason you broke? I didn't like the way someone ordered a steak once what? How it was cooked or did she say something wrong? Like it was well done and you're like, I'm out. Or was she just like mean to the server? Um, she was a little rude to the server.

Okay, that I understand. But she did not want the steak cooked at all. What? Okay. She want to like steak tata. Like, like take it out, you know, like take it out of the fridge and put it on a plate. The fuck was she a neem it? What's happening? Isn't that just gonna give you food poisoning? Yeah, I didn't stick around to find out.

I mean, you need a tartar, but that's you know. But yeah, you prepare that. That's a certain way. That's not like you take a rib eye out of the freezer section at HUB and just start munching on it. Like, oh, it's be so tough and cold. Yeah, it was, that was, that might be the pettiest reason. That's really weird. No, I think that that's a pretty valid reason.

That's indicative of something else going on there. It's good that you knew fast though. Some people don't realize that stuff until they're dating someone like way down the line. Yeah, that was like first date. It was like, okay, nope. And it's not like I was getting many dates at the time either. It was really like, oh god damn it.

You didn't ask her about it? That'd be too big. No. I mean, like, why didn't you like meat cooked? No. I was afraid that it was going to go down like a rabbit hole of like more stuff I didn't want to know. Like I was already checked out by that point.

I wasn't going to find out that she was pregnant with Satan's child. Yeah. She likes to taste a human flesh and raw meat. What did she cook stuff like cereal and she just had it wrong? She had everything in the office. Like, it's stuff that shouldn't be cooked. Yeah. Like boil, uh, where are you boiling milk? How am I going to eat some Captain Crunch? Yeah. I got a toasted in the oven first. It's delicious. Um, I feel like that would taste good, like a toasted captain crunch. Probably, put it in the oven. Stick it in, roast it a little bit.

A little porridge. A little porridge. Make a little like oatmeal out of your warm milk and toasted captain. That's just soggy mess. That's just glute. So do you not like cereal with milk because it gets the cereal soggy? I do, I just do it really fast. Are you the kind of person who puts very little milk in their cereal?

No, I'll go loud, I'll just do it really fast. Are you the kind of person who puts very little milk in their cereal? No, I'll go out, I'll just scoff it down. And if there's bits that are really soggy, like I've left some bits behind, I'll just point at you. Do you drink the milk at the end? God no. Okay, why don't you just taste like cereal? You know what you should do. It's like liquid cereal.

That's the best part. Yeah, you should. Oh yeah, because it's like a sugary milk. Yeah, put the milk in first. Yeah. And then put the cereal in. Try it. Oh, I get it. Just a bit of parts that don't even touch the milk, yeah, essentially, but when it float, yeah,

so it's like, it's like, you get like a little bit of milk in the cereal, cereal, cereal wrapped. I often get tweet at a picture of this ball that separates milk from the cereal. So you just like pull the cereal into the milk. As you would love that, cereal into the milk as you use it. Oh, you would love that wouldn't you? Yeah, that'd be cool. The way to get around your weird thing. The way to get around your weird thing.

Because of my weird cereal. Yeah, no, I would not want to get down there. There's a lot of foods that are soggy that I like. Serial's one of them. Like I love drinking the milk after that. And like, what about pasta? Because that's technically kind technically like soggy. Yeah, but you don't, schloppy.

You don't eat that uncooked. I never munch on raw pasta. I know people would do. I've eaten like a package of like that really cheap shitty ramen before, like without putting it in boiling water. Yeah, I do this girl in college that would break it at eat the noodles and then put the packet in her hand and just go like, supplement it.

It's the slight between bite. Eating sodium., and then put the packet in our hand and just go like supplement it. It's a slight between by eating sodium. Yeah. Straight from the packet. I used to eat those noodles without being cooked. The ramen noodles? Ramen noodles. Break apart the little break.

Those stuff that looks like a Justin Timberlake's hair. Yeah. We were talking before the podcast about how it'd be useful to have like a second exit hole. I think it'd be useful. Like a pipe that comes out just below your mouth, where you can eat, just shit food and it just squirts out into a bag.

No, you don't get the calories when you have to deal with it, but then you can have a big mac without having to fat a big mac. And what I said was it'd be great to have a second hole just in case you start choking, like open up your second hole, you're like, oh, thank God. Like, is there any animal in the animal kingdom that has a forked asophagus? Well, don't cows have like four stomachs or something? Yeah.

Yeah. But that is a linear progression, isn't it? Yeah, but it all makes them fat, right? You can't go straight to stomach for. Right, exactly. All right, boys, send us all down a fork. Two is getting a little full. It's that there that, I feel like there's an eating disorder. I forget what it's called or what's classified as.

Where people, no, it's not one of those. It's where people eat the food and they chew it and they don't swallow it. They just end up spitting it out. I think that's part of anorexia. That's a method. Is it trick the body that you're getting full? It tricks the body that you're eating it and the satisfaction.

Get the satisfaction from it, but you're like not allowing yourself to eat it, which is you're just not getting any food. I'm thinking about something we talked about earlier. You talked about the, I'm sorry, I'm going to, I'm going to side track here. You talked about the, like the two esophagus holes, right? Have you ever seen the, how can I phrase this? Have you ever seen the people on Reddit

who will do AMAs and it's like a woman who has two vaginal holes? Or the guy who had two dicks? Yeah, and that's like the top comment was like, have you ever talked with the guy with two dicks? There's a girl with two vaginal holes? Yeah, it's like you can't see it from the outside. It's like once.

Oh, I think I saw that one where she was like an adult what they just get. Or like, community, something was wrong. She realized when she like had sex and it was really painful. And I guess like the dude was hitting the lining between the two holes. Oh. So like, it's like a vagina that formed and then didn't split and like it's just a hole that's not a hole

so it's like have you ever tried got a two straws at once? It's kind of like that. So did she have two hymns that she lose a virginity twice? I think so I've lost my virginity in hole number one But not all right. You never married. Oh So do you think she would align with the two dick dude? I think hers was side by side I think the two dick dude was yeah, so he would have put his two together initially and then they could prong out after bypassing Hole one problem. So Could she get pregnant in both holes? She claimed to have two uteruses

and like two full reproductive systems. No way. That sounded, did she have a twin? A little crazy. Was going inside her? I don't know. That's probably, like, that makes sense. I would believe that.

Like, she was a twin in the womb and then absorbed. That's the way she could have two simultaneous. Maybe one, like, doesn't work or who knows? Yeah, I think, if it's the one I'm thinking of I think when I was like adorf muted just mutated little heat urine system. Yeah so it's so yes it's possible if that can happen I'm sure somewhere someone has two esophagus I mean at that point she really wants is the other clip right dude I would love to have two clits. Would they both feel the same orgasm bar?

Or would you have two bars of climax on the other one? What if you're using like two different types of vibrators on each one to like brace the right. I feel like this is your dream come true. It happens to you. Yeah, I wouldn't come to work ever again. Yeah. I'm going to go home. It's a perpetual state of exhaustion.

I have like huge guns. Would you want muscles? Yeah. Would you want that Becca? I don't know. I don't know. I feel like it's too much of life I'd be missing. I didn't really do that. I don't know.

But what is, I mean, is there anything more to life than just a good orgasm? I don't know. Suggie cereal is pretty good. So I'm going to show you an illustration here, just to answer your question. That's two hands. What is that? What's happening?

You see the line illustration next to her? Yeah, but is that what? Oh, so it's opening is one opening, but it leads to two different. Right. So the Dix would prong out. Oh, see, I thought it was two holes. No, she doesn't have two sets of lab. That's right.

That's why she didn't know initially until she was older. That makes sense. That'd be really weird. If you like, man, sex sometimes feels great, and sometimes it's just really weird. Sometimes it really hurts. Depending on how it's routed. I'm really into doing this short digs for some reasons.

Or it's like you're talking with your friends, like, man, don't you just love getting fucked on the left side? Like, what? The left side's so much better in the right side. Oh, so what would happen to her tampons? Oh I bet it doesn't go far enough in what she could just So you have to like cut it in half so it just goes like this What else is she gonna eat? I also she's probably only bleeding from one side it all comes down one probably alternates What if oh that would suck if she had to double to everything like would you have your period a different time different

Like always on your period from one different all. Oh, would you sync up with yourself? I guess yeah It's suck to be on the blob twice a month. Yeah. On the blob, is it a common thing? On the blob. I've never heard of before. Like, I didn't even blink though.

Like, I just figured it was some English colloquialism. I didn't even hear it until Gus said it back. On the blob. I feel like that. On the Serviet. Quintessential podcast conversation. Never use a Serviet. What's a Soviet?

A napkin? Oh. You're calling that? You're calling that in the UK? Yeah, Soviet. Okay. It's a French word, right? Yeah, I assume.

I mean, I wouldn't use it to mop up menstrual blood, but I'm just asking about a fucking napkin. What would you use to mop up menstrual blood? Papedown. Where's the blood? On the floor. Yeah. Just a bit cold water. Isn't that what we do? Why cold water?

Doesn't that get blood out quicker? Does it? I don't know. How do you know this? Uh oh. Isn't that thing like cold water gets blood out? It's also not just blood. What's it?

Some mucus and stuff? Like lining of your uterus and shit like that. Yeah, tissue. That's globby. I read your thing about like a post pregnancy one and it was gnarly. It was one of the gnarliest things I've ever read in my life. Yeah, like did you have a big chunk?

Well, now I wrote a blog post about things that happen to your body after giving birth that people never talk about or prepare you for. And there is just, it's gross. There are these things. They were like, call us if you have blood clots larger than an egg. So that gives you some perspective on what's normal.

Yeah. Yeah. You're having a... What is it end up? Just like... Where does it end up? You were these giant diaper things for a long time afterward. It is pretty scary if you get that in a normal period

and you're just like, an alien just came out of it. Oh yeah. That happens to me one time, one period I had where there was something that I would, it was like this is not normal. Was it a miscarriage? No, I don't think so. How do you tell? Do you start looking for an answer like this? There was no like eyes or... Oh my god. Oh my god. You would know because it would be painful. How do you tell? Do you start looking for I'm feeling like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like

I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I He did. He's crazy. You're the last tour date was last night. Yeah, we were on stage last night, and I chugged like five beers on stage two. Ooh. So you had no beer? I chugged, I'm bad at chugging. No. Tracking lots of water. How'd you sleep? How'd you sleep on that bus?

I have to tell you, I slept great. I might have had one of the best sleeps of my life. We've had no animals. Well, it's been a fun house, people. And it rocked, it rocks you. Good ambiance. Yeah, it's like a fun house people and it rocks. Yeah, it rocks you good ambiance Yeah, and it's like a blackout curtain. Yeah, yeah, it was super dark. Was it well-vinylated cold? Yeah, okay Was it like really small like if you were if you woke up in the middle of night, we're shocked and you like oh I don't know what you did it. Yeah, there's videos on I think they're first only but there's some tour videos

We've made yeah, I think it's the second one that shows all your little cubbies with your high-end cell phone warriors, McDonald's. Yeah, that was one. And if you're not first, remember, you're not watching this right now, but there's an R wheel where we had some bus footage, too. But yeah, I didn't want to leave the bus. We actually, some nights we drove through the night, but arrived at a hotel like 4am, and I just wanted to stay on the bus.

I didn't even want to go into the hotel. Did they let you stay on the bus, did they make you get off? I think I could have, but I just went in with them. You're a fucking star. So I just think where you want. Fuck you guys. Instead of trashing a hotel, we could have trashed a bus. It was really fun there. That tour was, like, I don't think anyone was super excited about

sleeping on a bus for a week. But it was really fun experience. And I think the shows got better as they went on. Some people went to all four shows. No way. Yeah. Was it fun house and a Chima hunter? Well, we did. Yeah. Bethany and or Clarissa. It was super fun. What was the best part of it? Who's the best city?

My question first. I like both the Florida ones. I thought they were stronger because they were later. I'll get fuck Newark and Baltimore. What was your favorite parts? I'm cute. Just the, there's a video playing. Just the energy of everyone was so cool. Like running into the crowd at the end was always fun. This is my video from a, Oh, cool.

We always try to get upstairs into the upper tiers. Oh, is this one with all the stairs? Yeah. But I mean, it looks easy from the stage. Just like, yeah, we'll just go upstairs. But with real human stairs, that's like three flights of stairs together. Also, raising my real human stairs.

Is that what I was doing? Yeah. That's great, Ty. I tried to do that when we were in LA. Yeah. And I had the same experience. I got a little top and I was like, well, it shows over now.

It took me like 10 minutes to get up here. Yeah, I'm running up the stairs with Kovik and Ryan. And I'm worried. I'm like, how long does this song take this forever together? Was it all stir? Yeah Did you do the same song at each one? No, we actually slightly changed the show for each show We did different heists on each show and we did different layouts of different games and different bits So even if you went to a few

It was a little bit different. I think I heard the Tampa one was the rim job the The rim job, yep. Oh, was that Jeremy's? Jeremy's Rimey Tim Heist. That someone in the subreddit suggested be called the rim job, which is perfect. I thought they were all very happy to see that when it was finally called a rim job. What I'm most surprised about is like watching people who are there posting stuff online, like videos and pictures and everything,

like as it's happening. It's like, that's crazy to me that they're there experiencing it and still broadcasting footage and showing what's going on. Like, I was not there for the shows, but I could still get little peaks, like it's still going on and I could see this little bit of it.

Yeah, it's really, really crazy to see. It was super cool. And doing them, there's a lot of downtime leading up to it. There's a lot of rehearsal time and running through stuff. And then you kind of just don't do anything for like two hours as people line up and filter in and that's like an eternity and then as soon as the show starts, it just flies by. And it's the three-hour show? I don't think it was three.

I'm just over two. Two? Between two and three somewhere. But it was just like, boop, it's over. It's just so like high energy for a long time. I think that's indicative of like the good schedule for a show. Yeah. Having those interstitials and stuff like that and playing out segments and things of that

nature seems like they did a really good job with that. Yeah, and I've realized now that I don't think I've had a day off since before laser team started. God. Yeah. And at one point in the middle of laser team, I left a shoot a slow-mo, which I edited on the bus. But let's play live.

Damn. And then that came back for the podcast. And then I go to New York tomorrow. So if I die of a heart attack this week, it's just because I didn't sleep enough. It's weird, I spent the whole weekend lying out by my pool like in the sun. I am exhausted.

Did you really? Yeah. I'm so tired. Someone mess you up, man. Some of them get you. It was a good weekend here. It was beautiful. Yeah, Sunday it was awesome.

Yep. I went out to Jester King. Have you ever been there? No, I always wanted to go, but it's kind of far. It is far, it's a haul. It takes like 30 minutes to get out there, but it's so cool. Like we spent five hours there.

What's the, what makes it cool? It's just this huge compound that has a lot of good beers and wines and stuff and like tons of different little places to sit and it's really family friendly and you can take dogs and you just kind of hang, it's like basically like going to the beach or the park. Oh wow, but there's pizza and beer. Yeah, two good things.

It's out like in dripping springs, right? Yeah, it's like halfway out there. Yeah. Yeah, like I really like Jester King beer and I'm a big pizza fan, but I still just can't bring myself to commit to driving all the way out there. I'm like, I'm such a bitch about traffic in Austin.

Yeah, plus it's not really a great drive if you've had any alcohol, but I was sober. So I drove the team, I took it. What do you mean it's not a great drive if you've had alcohol? Well, it's like a winding road where it's a passenger. Yeah, no, I'm just saying like you don't want to drive if you've been drinking. Yeah. And it's also like a $50.

Or live ride. What are we? Ride Austin is fair, fast and you get drunk less now that you've pooped to kid out. Oh God, yes. Well, okay, that's a subjective question. I get drunk very easily. Like I have like one beer and I'm a little drunk, but I do need that. I do need it. I need it.

But I barely drink now just because. You gotta be responsible. Exactly. And that morning after is rough. But my brother got married last weekend. And I got pretty wasted. He got married? Yeah, married.

Yeah. What was the hashtag that you guys were using for that wedding? Austin La Barbara. La Barbara, yeah. Yeah, that's the last name. My name's Gabrielle La Barbara. I call her Gab's La Babs. Gab's La Babs.

Gab's La Babs is a great name. That's so good. Did she take your brother's last name? Yeah. No. She should have said. Although I guess Frazier is a great name. That's so good. It did she take your brother's last name? Yeah. No. She should have said. Although I guess Frazier is a pretty great. Can you give her the opener?

This one? Hold on. Now she's gay free, I guess. I don't know. So that's like one of the things I think about. Like it's one, so I don't want to have kids. And one of the reasons I don't want to have kids is I'm always afraid that I have to be responsible all the time like a you can you can never be down like there's there's a life that's depending on you and if you fuck up you go to jail.

Yeah and be on that like you can go out and have fun and you have a babysitter and you come and wasted 8 a.m. You're gonna win. Fuck your hangover. Yeah. So you feel about driving? Go on. Well, you're responsible for the lives of other people. Oh, I see. Oh, yeah. If you have a passenger, if you lose concentration and kill an entire family, then you get to jail. Yeah, I think driving's scarier than parenting.

You do? Yeah. I feel like you hear more stories about people dying from driving than being a bad parent. Yeah, rarely do you miss work because of a bad parenting accident. Yeah. Although I have, I have. I forgot to give my kid cough syrup this morning, it's all over the news.

I fried a cereal. The cereal was burned, they didn't want to eat it. He burnt his tongue on the hot milk. No, like I think about how young my parents were, you know, when I was growing up and I was like, when I was that age, I had no idea what I was doing. There's no way, like I'm like, there's no way they knew what they were doing. I know. Like, like they did, they didn't.

Isn't that what parenting is? It's just learning very fast how to be a parent. Yeah. You can't really practice. Yeah. Yeah. I remember my parents' 30th birthday. Oh my God. Yeah, and I was like, wow, yeah, my parents are old now.

Wait, that's really young. Why did they have you? They were 19. Geez. I was 11 when they turned 30. So you like double their age. So it's like right now, if I had a 20 year old, which is fucking crazy. There are people at this company who could be your kid.

Yeah. That's why I'm always so disappointed in you Andrew. Actually, I'm gonna talk to him. I couldn't talk to him. The most... His birthday is coming up and he's having a birthday party. I think this Friday. Is he turning 21?

No, he's turning 22. Oh, 22, he's in his last year of college. But he invited a few of us from work to come and he really wants us to come to his party, but it's like a college campus. I saw that. I was like, where is that even? I don't know, but it's just like imagine a bunch of like 20s and 30 year old people. We should go and creep on some youngster. I'm like going to like a friend. So you wouldn't want to go because people are too young. I would go. I would be like old school. I feel like we can relate people are too young. I would go. I would be like old school. I feel like we can relate a lot to this.

I mean, a lot of our audience are that age. Yeah, hey, you ever heard a Ristratie? I feel like I could rip on some like young hot college guys. Aaron's still busy, right? Where is Aaron? He's doing day five. Oh, is he like in the... somewhere?

Desert? Wherever they're... No, they're not in the desert anymore. Okay. Yeah, so Chris. I still Chris the very same other day and he was so tent Yeah, yeah, they were in direct sunlight. You've been gone. Have you seen the set that? They had for that. Mm-hmm. You should check it out. It's pretty crazy. Yeah, well I'll tell you more when the cameras are not. You should see it. And microphones. And the microphones are not. There's so many secrets, so many things going on. I feel like I would never know what I can talk about or what I can't talk about.

Because I'm not like Bernie, I just don't say it. I'm really ruining it for everyone. Bernie would, if he was here, he would absolutely tell you what the set was, where it was, what it looked like and everything. Should I picture seatoaks? The nobsists of the final episode. Yep. The I picture see took synopsis of the final episode. Yeah, the combination to get in the name of the security guard. That shows looking really fucking good.

Yeah, season two of day five. It's crazy how long that shoot is compared to laser team two. It's yeah, it's three and a half future films. It's crazy. I think they're shooting for like 60 or 65 days. Yeah, it was was it. No, I think it's long in that Oh, no, you're right. You're right. Because it was 13 weeks. Season one was like 40 something days, wasn't it? Season one I think is shorter than season two

Yeah, yeah, so yeah, that's that's a crazy amount of time to be shooting like anytime I see Josh, he looks like he's fucking losing the mind. They started day five I see Josh, he looks like he's fucking losing his mind. They started day five before laser team, and you guys started and finished somewhere in the middle there, but they have still so much more to go. They have another laser team to make, basically. I think they have three weeks to go still. A little, I think a little more than that.

Maybe, oh no. Didn't you actually go out of your not on that shoot? Yeah. It's like a quarter of your year gone. Yeah, I don't think I could commit to that. It's insane because there's multiple people directing and things like that, but the crew is the same for the whole shoot.

So the crew has been the exact same since the start and they've been doing just every day on that. It must be a dream job for freelancers there to have solid work for that long. Oh, yeah, especially in Austin. I imagine. That was the way thing about my old job in the UK. I was a freelancer, but I only did slow motion, so I would only work like one or two days at a time.

And specifically, you don't shoot a whole lot. You should call him a slow-mo, okay? Yeah, you don't need that much slow-mo in the movie. Then we will be really long. Is that how you got your channel name? People would call you the slow-mo, okay? Yeah. So that's what you'd say. Richard People would call you the slummo guy. Yeah. So that's what you should have.

Richard Hammond called me a slummo guy. There you go. He's a, he let's on the top here. So you made it plural and you included Dan. Yeah. I gotta have someone else in there. Slummo guy plus friend. Slummo dude.

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Get 20% off your first pair. Go ahead, revamp your underwear drawer. You deserve it. Once again, that's me undys.com slash rooster teeth meandys.com slash rooster teeth. I personally go for the I think it's the adventurous or the bold. What do they call it on there? So I go for the the crazier colors Because I like to make myself happy. Does that's your like the crazier colors? She laughed. I think last month I got like a really floral print and she laughed at it. Well, you can pull them off

No, no, she was like you need to put those on right now And I think the she could pull them off. There you go And I think the the pattern for this month is pizza I have seen it again. Yeah, so I'm waiting for my interesting Reposition that model is in. She has to show the underwear. She wants pizza. She's like fully spreading that. Yeah. She's relaxed. But she doesn't have how you relax. She's showing them how they fit. Did you hear? I know you were on the road. Did you hear at all about that fire festival?

Yeah. Like I used to disaster. I whenever in the early days when we were doing RTX, whenever I would say I would have a stress stream about RTX or had a nightmare that something went wrong, that's what it looked like. It turned the ring down. Yeah, like it was, everybody showed up and there was nothing for them to do. Like, oh shit, I forgot to do everything.

I had five festivals in West, so isolated. Yeah. On an island somewhere. So, and people paid between what was it for? I think 1200 was the base rate in 25,000 I think was the max tier I heard it was 12,000 was the those are max but 125,000 which would be insane, but God yeah, I wouldn't pay that for a festival I wouldn't pay that for pretty much anything except the house Yeah, I think they said that some of the packages include like private jets flying you down there and

delicious bread and cheese. Well, they had like catered, like an option to get catered meals. Mm-hmm. By like this fancy catering company, but I think they backed out too, so that people ended up with slices of bread and cheese and like a tomato. So what happens then? Did they, did they ever get a refund? I think, allegedly. Yeah, but they said they're gonna give everyone a refund and then they're gonna give them a VIP ticket to next year's Fire Festival. Which I assume people wouldn't want to do. No, I think

everyone's gonna go to Fire Festival. We know it's supposed to be a next year. Two-week-in-thing, two. So I think this last weekend it should have had the second. Should we go next year? We should make a round and do fire festival and then dash con. I think dash con's gone. Oh, is it? Yeah. Do you remember how many people made jokes about RTX having a ball pit after dash con? Yeah.

We couldn't attain the ball pit status. I wish fire festival had a ball pit and make everything. So look, that's a while. You wait to board your private plane. You can have 30 minutes in the ball pit. It's just, I mean mean it's terrible doing events It was really difficult. I don't know like what bullshit excuses they came up with about they're being a storm Or like they said that it was an isolated area. So it was difficult to get everything done

It's like well, yeah, no shit. I mean, yeah, I don't understand why people were making fun of the attendees I don't get that yeah, cuz Oh, there's the creator go. Yeah, that I was talking about. Well, that room temperature, she is. People took a pleasure in that. I think it's because, I mean, these people spend a lot of money. It's, you know, the make fun of the inscribulous.

Oh, okay. Like why do we just spend $12,000 on a festival? Even I can admit, that's a little crazy. And the lineup was shit too. I mean, it was like four bands. All the lineup was Blink when 82. I don't know if this was there. Wellink, wasn't it run by Ja Rule? Yeah, but I don't even know if he was performing.

I think he was partnered with the... I know he had like some sort of official involvement with the show, but I don't know if he was performing either. Yeah. It was like Blink when 82, I know disclosure was supposed to DJ. Oh, right. And like major laser. And then it was just a bunch of random.

Is it just a bunch of random. Is it just a bunch of people who wanted to go to Coachella? I think so. And couldn't. I mean, I think it sounds like an awesome idea, right? Like you could go and be on a private island with like super rich elite people on your private jets, right? Yeah, like you look at it as a vacation.

Right. It doesn't seem that exorbitant. But it's still pretty ridiculously priced. It's so crazy how people just like different things. Yeah. I would pay to not go to that. Yeah, that sounds great. Even if it went well.

I hate making that so I can't. I'll make sure you don't go. I had never even heard of it. I didn't know it was something that's happened. I don't think it was on anyone's radar until it blew up. It wasn't. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, good marketing. I woke up whenever that was something that's happening. I don't think it was on anyone's radar until it blew up. It wasn't, yeah. Yeah, woke up. I woke up whatever that was, like Saturday morning or whatever.

And like all the tweets that saw were like, if you're not following the hashtag Fire Festival tweets, you need to do that right. There was some good shun thread in those tweets. There was, yeah, there was some good stuff, but following that hashtag was a nightmare because it was just so active that you'd like load it up. If you have tweet tech, you could load up a hashtag column. And it would just so active that you'd like load it up. If you have Tweetec, you could load up a hashtag column.

And it would just be like, like you couldn't read anything unless you like paused it somewhere. It was just, it was crazy. Yeah, Michael knew someone who went. It was like a girl who went to high school with me. He sent me a screenshot of a post you made where she was like,

we're okay, we're stuck in Miami just trying to get home. Like I really want to pick our brain and find out, like, how'd you find out about this? How, what was the process like? Were there any red flags? Like, what was your expectation? Yeah. Did you see, I think it was, it might have been Meg

who retweeted a story that someone wrote up about their experience working for a long time. Oh, I saw that. Yeah, they're like the, I've been planning like the, oh, it's something about like not saying an NDA. Yeah, right. I think I read that too. I think I was on Reddit. And who knows?

I don't think there was any way to like verify that that person actually did anything they said they did. Right. But some of the stories were a little crazy. Like bands not being paid or. Yeah. And then I think what was the figure like three million or might 50 million? It was some insane amount to pull it off.

Well, 50, I think, 50 million dollars. Yeah. To put on the event. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's what they were used to. And they were like, don't worry about it. We've got some like super elite backer that is anonymous. They'll make it happen. Yeah, $50 damn million.

That's so much as much as RTX. Yeah, RTX is like 55. On their promo videos, like on the brink of impossible. Like, yeah, it's all on the brink of impossible. Like yeah, it fell the wrong way there. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, you can try to plan for very difficult impossible things, but then you need to hire people and you need to fucking work at it in order to execute on it.

You can't just be like, oh, we're gonna do the impossible because we're awesome. Like, well, you need to find awesome people too. There must have been a point. Point work on it. Right before it started where clearly none of it was gonna come together. And the guy in whoever was in charge must have been like,

I could pull the plug right now, or I could just see what happens. Yeah, it was like fuck it, let's do it and be legends. Yeah, I said that. Yeah, yeah. They're legends for the wrong reason. You know, that was about the festival. It was like being infamous.

Why would you do that? Why not cancel it? Like why? It's one thing that I was shittin' the way. Everyone in the way. Like in San Diego where you can just go somewhere else. But this is like their whole captive on this island. Yeah.

And they're wasting so many hours of people's time combined. I know. And then you do if all of the exhibitors for RTX backed out with a week before the event. Again, this is my nightmare. Like this is what I would wake up in a post-sleep.

But you don't do that anyway post like you still have the dreams. No, thank God. If everyone, I don't know, I mean, we'd probably, if it happened this year, like the week before. We'd have to cancel it. Nah, we just do more panels. What? You can't do enough, you cannot physically do enough.

You don't think we can program like we can. But everyone just like our main stage became the panel area. Everyone has our, you look their flight. Sorry. And their hotels and everything and some flights are not refundable. Oh, fuck, I don't know. That's a, that's a bad problem. I just think it about it.

I would curl up and die. I just have stress dreams too about RTX all the time. But mine were not exhibitor related. They were always programming related. Like, oh, exhibitor-related, they were always programming-related. Like, oh, I forgot to tell anybody they were doing panels and I forgot to make a panel schedule. Well, I hope there's some good exhibitors here. Like, I had that dream almost every single night

leading up to RTX a couple years in a row. I would have it where I'd be at the door, you know, for some reason, because I was opening the door like people in. I'd be at the door to let people in and some reason, because I was opening the door, like people in, I'd be at the door, like to let people in and be like, why am I letting them in? There's nothing in here. Like, this is quite a festive room. So Patrick saying the quote from Jaw Rule is, I truly apologize as this is not my fault

in caps, but I'm taking responsibility. I'm deeply sorry to everyone who is inconvenienced by this. What does that mean? Like, take responsibility? I don't know what that means. Why would you take responsibility if he's not at fault? Oh, was there a ball pit? No, I think that's Photoshopped.

Or is it? There was a, there was a, yeah, the lightens right. Look at the shadow. I guess, yeah. That's well done It looks like the ball pit from dash con Maybe it's a single 10 actually does look like a Photoshop. Is that real? Is that seriously real? I don't know Oh, there's a lot of fake stuff flying around fake news. You would say you would say yeah What's gonna save so yeah, I think the tents were actually like refugee tents or like some kind of like disaster relief surplus

Yeah, I'm a tense with the back party backs I don't know I didn't I don't think I signed the photos of the inside it looked like there was people who were at those tents Who had been evacuated from somewhere? That's what it looked like yeah, it looked like a natural disaster Yeah, do you think they did a survey at the end? I wonder if anyone had a good time like if there was anyone there It was the most of it. I bet there are people who met on that trip who fell in love and are gonna get married. I'm gonna call that baby five. At least one couple. With a why? Like they can bond over the shitty experience they have. Well, because like if you're stranded out there for a couple days, is that what they were up to? I'd keep warm somehow. Or just

like, there's what are you gonna do but fuck, you know? You know? What are you gonna do but fuck? You know what? That too. So you, I don't know, I feel like a lot of, like if you're bored. I feel like your mind is way more sexual than most people here.

It's like, how can I have an orgasm as soon as possible? Yeah. And then let me think about other things below that. It's priorities. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. You got to get to get it. You got to get it. You got to get it. No comment, no further comment from Gav. I'm just kidding. I'm not that much of a fiend. I love that image that people post on the internet sometimes showing like how when cell phones weren't introduced, the big thing was always to make them smaller and smaller and smaller, like until you got to the point where you could actually watch porn on a phone and then they got bigger and bigger and bigger again, like the screen size increased again. Once you actually do something useful.

Do any phones project video yet? I think there are attachments for like one of the motos, like the Moto X that can do projector. That's pretty cool. But I think the problem is that it drains your battery. Yeah. Everything does. But project, you know what I mean?

Projectors use a lot of battery. Snapchat drain your battery like it does mine. Yeah, it runs a lot of background services, location stuff. Yeah, Snapchat, just more than anything I turn you on, I could be at like 15% and my phone will just die. The second I open Snapchat. Wasn't Uber doing a thing where it was tracking users

off to the app had been deleted or something? Yeah, they got in a little bit of trouble for that. Tim Cook was like, he called their CEO to the principal's office. He called their CEO to meet with him to get Tim Cook's like, you want me to remove Uber from the app, the app stuff. It'd be fucking huge. I've got, I think we're finally at a point. I saw a rumor that Uber and Lyft are close to coming back to Austin.

Finally, I saw someone... I didn't even want to back. Someone tweeted or not they didn't tweet. Someone posted on the Austin subreddit that they got a text message from Lyft because these to be a former driver. It text message saying that they needed to refill out their paperwork so they were coming back soon. I feel like that would be bigger, like bigger news.

Because there was a lot of people who drove for Uber and Lyft in this city. I feel like that would be more widely now. Well, I think the legislation may have passed the state of Texas legislature where cities can no longer ban or can no longer override ride sharing companies. I saw something about that. Which is what people expect it when Uber and left left. They expect it that instead of fighting at the Austin City level, they would just fight at the state level and get it so that nobody,

no other city can do the same thing. So I think it's going to come back. I hope so. The only reason I missed them is they were so much cheaper than the alternatives we have now. Yeah. I also felt like I could always get an Uber or Lyft, whereas now, if I use one of the other ride-share apps, I feel like I can't always get a car. It's, whereas now, if I use one of the other ride-share apps, I feel like I can't always get a car.

It's happened to me a few times where either the app was broken or there were like no cars available. That happened initially, like when they first came out because everyone was Blaine's birthday. We were all out and none of us could get cars. It was horrible. There's also a night during South by,

obviously, because there's like hundreds of thousands of people in town, so everyone's downloading these apps and using them, obviously, because there's like hundreds of thousands of people in town. So everyone's downloading these apps and using them, where I think all of them went down. Fair, fast, and right Austin. Yeah. All went down. So I had to, and I was out and I had to go find a cab. It took me probably a half an hour or something to find an available cab.

We just walking around. Yeah. Well, I stopped at a corner for a few minutes and I tried to like get cabs with their awful. So I tried to find a cab stop, couldn't wait at another corner, eventually got one. Walking the streets, hanging out in corners. Yeah. Doing my normal day job.

You can, they also have an app, the Yellow Cab company, and you can request cabs through there? The Yellow Cab app fucked me over one time. It's not great, what happened? This was years ago before Uber and Lyft existed at least in Austin and it was one of our Christmas parties that we had for Rooster Teeth and I had ordered a car, a cab, like earlier in the day. I think it was probably nine or ten in the morning. I was like, I would like a cab for seven o'clock because the party starts at seven thirty and I want to make sure I get there on time and seven o'clock because the party starts at 7.30 and I want to make sure I get there on time.

And seven o'clock rolls around, no car, 7.15, nothing. I call them and they're like, yeah, all of our drivers are busy right now. It's going to be at least another hour. Jesus. And I'm like, I fucking ordered this cap to be here. Like, what's the point of ordering something in advance if it's not going to show up on time? And they're like, yeah, I wonder if they don't get the scheduled order. It just puts it in as a pop stuff. It's probably just puts you in the queue with everyone else. It was just really, because it was raining that day too, so probably a lot of people were

getting cabs. I just called a different company and they sent a cab over right away at the same time as the other cab arriving at my apartment. I took the one that I just called and then they started yelling at each other. And I'm like, hey, listen, you were 45 minutes late. Make them fight. Yeah. The frustrating thing to me is,

and it kind of happens with other ride sharing companies too, but when you request a car and you can see where they are, and then how they make their way to you, I felt like anytime I did that with a yellow cab app like I would be like Where are they driving that way? Fuck where they going like it would take them like 30 minutes to get to be like they were five minutes away I have no idea what the fuck they're doing. They feel like any cab driver just doesn't know where they're going Yeah, I like right shares. I feel like they're locals that know the chair. I always use the map. They always use GPS

Yeah, I don't know why Camp drivers just ridiculous. I've gotten a lot, I'm not gonna give right share. I'll pass you. I've gotten fucking lost with those idiots too. With the GPS on, I told you, and Australia, I had to take one of the driver's phones away from them, because he was like, he kept getting lost and I was like,

no, you do not look at that anymore. I'll tell you where to go. Yeah, I had to take over until I'm, how to get where we were going. I had a funny thing happen where I was like, no, you do not look at that anymore. I'll tell you where to go. Yeah, I had to take over until I'm how to get where we were going. I had a funny thing happen where I was shooting out at spiderwood studios, which is kind of far from here, but it's where we've shot a lot of laser team with shot and immersion there. I've shot the fire 28 of either. Is there where I did the Pac-Man immersion? Yeah.

And it's kind of in the middle of nowhere. So I opened Uber because it was still around at the time. I was like, I wonder if there's anyone around. And the sound guy from my shoot became my Uber driver. No way. He just walked up to me and he's like, let's go. And I was like, oh, you drive through. He just happened to turn it on to see if if someone's out there.

Pay him? Yeah, I mean through the app. Yeah, but it's just like if he's driving, I guess, he's getting there. He's driving into my house. My brother drove for Uber and left in the summer Because he was a schoolteacher and we used to do that right like Clock in and pick me up right and So throw him a little bone. Yeah, it's funny. I want I want to drive for a ride

I kind of want to try it too at some point in my life Maybe I did me a because in GTA you can call GT online you can call muggers to mug people It happens to me quite a lot. And sometimes a pedestrian just walking down the street will turn into a Mugger and then just suddenly Muggy. And it was like that, except you can turn it to a new drive. You can't actually do it. Kind of the opposite. Off we go.

Yeah, I forget what the idea was, but I think at one point I had pitched a show idea here where we just go around and we're ride share drivers and just give me people ride around. I want to do it during RTX. That would be really fun. Yeah, that was the idea. Yeah. I had to do it during RTX, when there's a lot of like, there's just like a round downtown. So would you let people into your car?

Sure. Yeah. Yeah, why not? I'll let people into my car. Is it clean? On the inside. Is your cart clean, Becca? It is now, because I just got it washed, but it was filthy, clomantine,

cracked all these cascadones all over it. It was a nightmare. That's why I was asking. Yeah, it was due to child. Yeah. She was like dog food everywhere, spilted dog food. Was your dry food, your kitty food?

No, we were traveling and the container opened and spilled. It's like in all the cracks and crevices. Yeah. Did you see? Okay, there was this really disgusting video that Esther showed me and I was actually kind of mad at her for showing it to me. But it's this guy. Wow.

Wow. You haven't had a little spit take there. He's got wet dog, like a can of wet dog food. Like he's got like cheap wet dog food. And he says, I'm gonna do a test here. I wanna see if there's any difference between this cheap dog food and the expensive dog food. So he's got one of each.

So he starts eating the cheap dog food. He starts eating? Yeah. And he's just like vomit. Like violently starts throwing up. Like, oh, let's discuss. So you can taste like shit. Then you pick up the expensive dog food

and start eating it. And he's throwing up and he goes, I knew it. They both taste like shit. There's no up the expensive dog food and start eating it. He's throwing up and he goes, I knew it. They both taste like shit. There's no reason to pay more money for the good one. I was like, that might be the dumbest guy in the world. Oh my God. So you imagine you showed you that video? Yeah, I was like, well, you're showing me this guy's vomiting over the hood.

I assume you were going to say he put both them down on the ground and saw the dog. The way that he says, I knew it. He was so happy with himself. He uncovered the big red el says, I knew it! He was so happy with himself, he uncovered the... I knew it! That's pretty much exactly what it was like. But I don't like reading, like on Reddit, I unsubscribe from the WTF and a lot of those gross ones. I clicked those all the time.

Oh, I know. Oh, God. It's just the curiosity. Adam Kovik showed me a horrible video of an animal. Maybe it was a Kovic was talking about it. I think one of the other funhouse guys showed it to me. Zebra running out of Zebra. So zebra running out of some sort of lake, but I have anything that's being eaten by a tiger or a lion or something being attacked and it like It's just it's guts just spilling out It's climbing out and it's just like you get it's just like flopping. While it's climbing out. And it's just like, it's just like flopping out

and it's gonna run away with it, with it's guts. And I hate that you can't unsee stuff. I wish you could. Hey, have you ever seen that video of the hyena eating an elephant's butthole? Like it's a dead elephant? What do you mean by eating a butthole? He's like literally eating it.

He's not like enjoying it. But like eating out the butthole? No, like okay, so it's a dead elephant on its side. Oh, bloated. And this hyena comes up in the night, and it's like night vision. And it's like trying to somehow pierce the elephant's skin to get to his meat.

And he discovers it's the buttholes the easiest way to go through. So he's like, and like rooting in the butthole. And he like does something, I think he might, he does something where he like makes the stomach gases and the stomach lining inflate out of the butt. Oh, this is like a net crow pro laps. Yeah, it's it was unlike Discovery Channel. It's you know, I'm just your standard nature documentary footage. I don't like it. Pretty incredible. Yeah, the nature's growth. It's absolutely brutal. I imagine that just smelled horrible.

I'm, I mean, it got a red. I just, there was a lot of deer hunting in his place. So like, I know what it smells like when you pierce a stomach with the gases, and it's horrible. Have you ever hunted? No, I've always been like a pacifist. My dad took us, and I would sit in the back of the truck

and cry when he killed something by, I've never, I've actually never even shot a real gun. I've shot a BB gun and that's it. You know South Texan. I know. Even I've shot a gun. Yeah. Yeah, I've shot guns but never anything living.

Yeah. I would hate to kill the deer and a sheep, like a curly-hunt sheep and bird. Just for fun or like you ate it? We ate it. Okay. Did you guys see that giraffe that gave birth? April the giraffe? I heard about it but I didn't.

Oh yeah, I watched the video. There was an ungodly amount of liquid that came out after that deer came out. And blood clots bigger than that. Yeah, video, yeah. But it was like a waterfall. It was just psh. Yeah, it was like psh. The giraffe hanging out and then it kind of flumps was like, it's giraffe hanging out,

and then it kind of flumps out, like Jim Carey flips out of the hippo, or the rhino, whatever he was in, and followed by like a splash and like rainfall. Oh, right. It kept going. Like it wasn't just, and then the mother's just like,

damn, and then the giraffe gets up, and it's just like, was it in a bag or anything? Or just come out, no, it just came out? Wow, I think I seen a bag split before it came out. I think that's the thing that amazes me most about animals versus humans is that and I'm so many animals when they're born

they could just get up and start walking within a few hours. They're fully functioning. Just small. Human babies are real crap. You can't even roll by them. The first three months of a human baby's life is the fourth trimester because they're just worthless little worms.

But like they should stay in their full year, but they get too big and they would break us in half. Yeah. So they have to come up. And then they just think, thank you. It's like the kangaroo is prematurely born. Is it? And it's just like a little grub and it crawls out of the vatch hole into the pouch and

then bites on a little nipple thing that inflates in its head so it can't let go anymore and then it continues to grow like that. Why do you know so much about kangaroos? Because I'll show you. It's fascinating. It's fascinating. Yeah, it's like a weird evolutionary step, right?

Like it's prematurely kicked out of the body, then goes into a pouch. Yeah, because I think the inside of the kangaroo is, it just becomes deadly after a long. But how does that evolve? Like, was there a kangaroo that just gave birth really early? And they were like, shit, I need to put this somewhere, and there's like sticks in the middle. Because a lot of evolution is like, you can see natural selection would work out that way. How the hell did that happen? We need to ask Sally. If you're like, if Sally was a really interesting one.

That's a question we write. Yeah, there's a lot of animals that do it different. Like the seahorse does all the... I love watching the male seahorse. It looks like they're being projected backwards. Like it's so strong, it looks like they're being thrown back. It's sneezing them out. Yeah.

They just get forced backwards. And most of them out. Yeah, they just get forced back His best and most of them die. Have you ever seen a duck stick? It's like a like a court good. Well apparently it takes the shape of Whatever it's going into so like you can like a triangle Yeah, like it'll do a spiral or like it just like Follows the path, but what different things would it have to be shaped like other than duck vag? Well, I think a duck vag is like new to spiral. I imagine if a guy's penis was shaped like a spiral,

like if he's lying down with his dick up and like just like spinning the girl on top of him, you'd say he's drilling there. Or screwing her depending on how you want to. There you go. You can just get like a touch. It's like, all right, time to detach. Brrr. Is unfravel you.

I thought not many birds have dicks. Because one doesn't just one have a dick. I think, I think male birds would have to have a dick. You're probably thinking of the cloaca, I think it's pronounced, which is the hole that birds have that's a single use. To contrary to your wanting multiple holes in your neck. So birds and reptiles, I think, all have this. It's a single hole where they pee, poop,

have sex and give birth out of. It's a dirty hole. Yeah, it is a dirty, dirty hole. I looked up Swan Dick on Google and the first return is the urban dictionary entry for swancock Which is I haven't not read it yet. Let's find out together When a chick is sucking you off and you're sitting down, she has her neck bent 90 degrees and only bobbing her head up and down like a swan.

Get her to make funny noises to enhance the experience. Wait, wait, what's the 90 degrees? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait degrees and only bobbing her head up and down like a swan. I think it's this way. Yeah, it's that way. Oh, oh, like this. Yeah, and you got to make funny noises to an experience. That's stupid. Google how many birds have dicks? How many birds have dicks?

I want that on a shirt. So, we're real fast before I get to that. Patrick is saying most birds don't. There's almost 10,000 species of birds and only around 3% of them have a penis. They include ducks, geese, and swans, and large, flightless birds like ostriches and emus. Oh, dude, I want to see an ostrich dick. Eagles, flamingos, penguins, and avatarsis have completely lost their penises.

So how do they do it? Yeah. They just like fought some sperm over the go. Far, some sperm over the go I Need some sort of pressurized chamber So pretty much what dudes do in all of these species They'll get pregnant from that In all of these species males still fertilize a female's egg by sending sperm into her body

But without any penetration instead males and females just mush their genitals open together egg by sending sperm into her body, but without any penetration. Instead, males and females just mush their genitals to open it together. And he transfers sperm into her manover. They call it a cycle kiss. Who's it, the cloichle kiss? Is that so romantic? Moish, mush, mush, mush. Oh, God.

So, Barbara. Oh, whoa. Whoa, whoa. Wait, wow. Wow. What? Wait, wait, again? That's ostrich dick. Oh.

I mean, Is it backwards? I don't know. Is it a tongue? It looks like a steak. It comes out in the street. I saw it, so you had to see it. Okay, I don't want it.

I don't want to see ostrich dick anymore. I'm happy now. Yeah. I'm satisfied. Did I tell you about the video I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it. I'm happy now. Yeah. I'm satisfied. Did I tell you about the video I got in Australia with the dot? Oh yeah, goats, not dockies. He's like drinking his own pee. Yeah, there was two goats. We went to the zoo in Australia.

And there was these two goats, a male one and a female one. And the male one was chasing her around and like snorting at her. And the zookeeper there was like, oh, she's in heat and he's trying to have sex with her and all this stuff. And I didn't notice until he turned the corner, but the male donkey had a giant boner that it was probably about this long.

And at one point he stops and he's doing this thing with his tongue where he's going. I was just flopping around in his mouth. I think that's how it's going to be. And then all of a sudden he looks down. And then he starts licking the tip of his dick. And then he starts peeing into his own mouth with his dick. And I caught it all on my camera. Did you play with it? I'm still, yeah, to see this video. And he's just yet. I should tell my computer. Yeah, I'll load it up. I'll play it on the next podcast. I need

to be alone with it though. I think you. I think you told me that before and then I think what I replied to you was I asked if you'd ever seen horny ody the wonder dog. What else? Yes. I have seen horny ody the wonder dog. It's like the gunful trend. It's a dog that figures out how to jack a self off. Oh yeah.

It's like it's amazing to watch evolution happen. He humps his own hands right? Yeah. I really don't like that video of the monkey and the frog. Oh, I don't like that video either. I don't think I've seen this. I don't know if you all both don't like it, then it's gotta be bad. It's not good. What is it?

It's just like animal kingdom rape. Is a monkey fucking a frog? Well, oh, a frog's mouth. Yeah. Oh. And the frog just clearly has no say in the mouth. That tongue though. Well, it can't because its mouth is full.

A monkey dick. It's just so violent and the frog just like, kill me. And the frog might kill that frog. Again, this goes back to what we mentioned earlier. Nature's gross. It is. But I also wanted like how it evolved as a frog brain. Did the frog just continue its day like,

oh, that was, my throat's a little sore. It's a little sore. It's a little froggy. Oh, God. Come on. All right, all right, there we go. It's okay, but he is a frog, so it's always froggy.

Right, extra froggy. There you go. Well, yeah, I'm glad that we don't have to worry about that shit. I think we talk about this every now and then, like, I don't have to worry about some animal trying to eat me. I don't have to worry about like, oh shit, after we did the podcast, I gotta go. I gotta go track down a cow and kill it and eat it.

Or it's like, all of that's gone. We're so far removed from like the food, the food chain and all of that stuff. It's like, nope, it's like, no, it's gonna go to the store and even buy some shit. Or you can just use an app and it would just shove out your front door. And I'll be like, don't knock on the door, just leave it.

Yeah, I heard you talking about this on a podcast. And I am also one of those, I say, leave them on the porch, do not ring doorbell, text me when they're there. Then I wait for them to leave and I get them. Can you just tell me what it is? You just want the interaction. Yeah, well, it started where it was like sleeping baby. Then I wait for them to leave and I get them. Can you just don't want the interaction? Yeah, well it started where it was like sleeping baby. And I was like, this is awesome.

I don't have to interact with anyone. So it's just stayed. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, we're becoming team still, sleeping baby. We're becoming so closed in as a race. Thanks, technology. It's great.

Yeah, I love it. Do you feel like it's dangerous at all? Mm-hmm. Yeah. How so? Well feel like it's dangerous at all? Mm-hmm. Yeah. How so? Well, just like, people aren't interacting as much. I feel like it could be bad for the way our society develops socially. If someone knocks on my door now or rings my door bell, Megan and I will look at each other just like,

what the hell is happening? Like, who is this? Yeah. Yeah. Cause people don't do that anymore. People just knock on your door. Yeah, I had someone knock on my door asking for like donations for some well you guys also live in houses I've had people knock on my apartment door, which is just weird in an apartment. Yeah, especially if the whole place is gated Yeah, like they're first of all, how did you get in here? Are you just a neighbor that's knocking on people's doors? First of all, how did you get in here? Are you just a neighbor that's knocking on people's doors? But something really creepy happened to me when I lived in Montreal.

I lived in an apartment by myself and kind of like a sketchy neighborhood. And it was probably about midnight or so. Someone knocked on my door and I looked through the people and there was this guy who was in this like giant dark jacket and I had a black beanie on. And it wasn't even that cold out. So I can't even excuse that. I didn't answer the door. I didn't make any noise. I didn't want him to know anyone is inside my apartment.

And he stood there for 10 minutes. Oh, he didn't knock again. He just stood there. And then he left. Did you have a gun? No, Montreal. Weird. Yeah, that is creepy.

I have a really great story about some weirdo coming to our door. So yeah, we live in a pretty central area. So we get a lot of foot traffic. But one day, someone rang our doorbell. We normally don't answer the door if it's a strange person, but Michael is expecting a package or something, so we answered it. To the dogsbuck. Yeah, they go, eight shit.

And our door actually doesn't have like a Pephole in it, which is why we eventually had to get a smart doorbell because we could actually see who's there without them knowing we see them. But so yeah, Michael answered the door and it was a guy who presented himself as going door to door, raising money for the CrossFit Games. He wanted to go there. He's like this like super jacked guy. And he starts going through, explaining it to Michael, and he stops, he's like, do you know what the CrossFit games are? And Michael's like, yeah, yeah, I've heard of it. I don't watch them.

I know what they are. And he's like, yeah, he nerd. And then he like kept on going. And Michael was kind of caught off guard by it, but he's like, all right, I'll hear this guy out. For some reason, he was being nice that day. And then he stops halfway through and is like, you know what, forget it. I fucking hate nerds like you.

I bet you think you're so much smarter than me. Fuck you. And then just like walked off. And Michael was just standing there like, what is happening? What a piece of shit. That's a right rage. You have done my door.

Yeah, exactly. You promote your shit. Exactly. And Michael just wasn't saying anything. He was just hearing about it. He was like, I was actually going to give that guy some money. It's like six months later, the news reported on, it was like KXN, Investigates.

Some dude who went around, he would normally target people in parking lots at grocery stores who would insult their weight to get them to give them money And it was the same fucking guy, but Michael's so skinny. I guess he couldn't go there He had to call him a nerd instead. So was that before or after you had a smart doorbell? This is before Yeah, I'm told to like uploaded that. Oh, I know. I would have loved that. Jesus. Yeah, it was so fucking weird It was just like you know what fucking hate nerds you. I'm surprised Michael gave him the time of day. I know. I'm really like dry and...

I know. When he told me that, I was like, first of all, you never answer the door. Like, you're actually going to give this fucking guy money. You tell valid charities to fuck off in this guy. Yeah. And nice to have fundraiser. Yeah. No way. I had a thing happen on my security camera the other day. Yeah. Did you see this? I got... Yes. I had a thing happen on my security camera the other day. Yeah, did you see this? I got, yes.

I posted it on, I found it. Amazing. So I got cameras all over the place. So it alerts me whenever someone's at my door, just like in a lot. And I just, I hovered over on my phone just to see like, I don't think Meg's, I thought she wasn't there or something. So I looked at the thing. It was a cop in like a full bulletproof vest with police on the back holding some sort of

assault rifle. You were at rifle. Yeah. And he was just stepping slowly around aiming into the street in front of my front door. If I'd have opened my front door and walked out, I would have walked into the back of a cop. Get back inside. And I was like, at the moment, I was like, what the hell for me?

What's going on here? But I guess that like a high speed chase just ended. Your visas up. Yeah. A chase just ended in front of my house. And like four cop cars had pulled up. And they were just getting like vantage points on this car as they were getting everyone to step out

and like arresting them one by one. So the cop was just like triggering all my cameras but it was really surprising to see that like where I am every day like every just to see like a cop with a huge gun. They have it all the time in the UK right? Who cops even got my guns in the UK? I'm sure they do. Yeah. They're really the only people with guns.

I mean there are a lot of illegal guns, but mostly it's stabbing in the UK when I was in Korea I noticed that I saw cops everywhere like tons of cops like almost every street corner no guns Like they were just like hanging out like that the blue uniform the hat and like walkie-talkies and yeah I mean anything a lot of like beat cops will just have a Baton without a gun, but you can immediately call them back. I assume they probably had guns in their car. Like if they need it, I'm sure it's like somewhere nearby, but otherwise just like,

there's a cop wouldn't come across a gun that often. We had to get security cameras at my house back in Canada because our house got egged five times. You got egged? Egged over a span of like a year. Another one, you'd have half a dozen. Obviously this is not for you to borrow a rock. I felt bad for my dad who had to clean it every time.

When it just bake off eventually? No, that should get like, like, sticks to your house. That's how you smell like a rotten egg. Do you remember the back of your car? That's why I know that shit is not good. I do like your car. Was this like, oh, we just didn't know I haven't watched it. I think it was an IT wasn't it? It's when I moved. I left my car at my old house for like four months because it wasn't working. Yeah, just like sat there. We went to get it and it was covered in eggs. Just like covered 36 eggs on it.

It was crazy. You don't know who did it? No, I left it like it was like rhinoceros to a randles. Uh-huh. So there was something so satisfying about breaking an egg on something or something. Oh, I know. So they would just offended that your car hadn't moved in so long.

Maybe. It's your lazy bum. It might have been like bored employees at the supermarket. Let me know they had rotten eggs or something. It was mostly egg. It was more egg than car. Yeah. It was.

I forgot you lived over there, but that ran to the sea. Yeah, it was a great area, a great location, except when ACL would roll around. Some adventurous people would park there and then walk to ACL. It's a track. Yeah, but I assume it's no traffic. Yeah.

So it's easier. Let me read this thing here. I want to remind everyone, this episode of the podcast is also brought to you by Pro Flowers. Your mom deserves the best this Mother's Day. She's been there for you through it all and Mother's Day is a great chance to show your appreciation. When you send the 100 blooms for Mom bouquet from Pro Flowers this Mother's Day, you'll make a real impression. It comes with a free glass vase for just 1999 plus shipping and handling.

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14th, yeah, maybe 14th. So not this Sunday, but next Sunday. You got some of them chocolates? Oh yeah. Gus, I had you been getting your ass kicked. Man, I'm not even getting, just getting my ass kicked. So Mario Kart 8 came out and I thought I was a pretty good Mario Kart player. Meg Turnie is a fucking monster.

Does she know all the shortcuts and everything? We used to play a lot on the Wii A. Oh, it's really good. What kind of what, dessert? Michael's really good. What does it like was really good? He has like a god-given talent for Mario. Okay. It's all about Hoping that every jump almost what I I get in dem drifts Get your chocolate party and you're invited dark chocolate with semi-sweet chocolate center. Yeah, is that your pickup line? The thing I feel like with Meg I

Can do okay at first, but the second I make one mistake, it's over. Yeah. It's all about consistency in that game. You do one thing and it's like, oh, that's it. I'm not gonna see her the rest of the game. Like, I'm gonna look at the map

and see that she's fucking half a course away from me. I'm only just better than her. Like, I can beat her like 70% of the time, but there'll be times, yeah, well, she'll just get me with something and I'll be screwed. I'll never see her again. I mean, that's the like 70% of the time, but there'll be times, yeah, well, she'll just get me with something and I'll be screwed. I'll never see her again. And that's the worst part.

Like, you get frustrated, so then like, you want to give up, but it's an Nintendo game. It's like Mario Party where the worse you do, the better items you get. So you have, you still have a chance. You want to be in second place the whole time until the very end. I mean, if you want all the good stuff, you want to be in like eighth to get, you pull it bills and stars left. I mean, if you want all the good stuff, you want to be in like eighth to get bullet bills and stars left. I still have a switch. I don't either.

I almost got one the other day, but then I was like, I mean, we have a classic. We barely play it. I just don't have time. I really want virtual console on this thing. I feel like I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do I googled before I bought a switch. So the Deluxe version. I love it on a plane. Yeah. That's so fucking awesome to play on the plane. The Deluxe version added some stuff so you can have two items. How long? It's like auto steering and stuff you can turn on.

Yeah, and most of the stuff you can do. For the switch. Probably I'd say three hours or so. Michael said he played a Grand Prix in single player for brightness and it drained 10% of his battery. One Grand Prix? Wow. So it eats battery. Yeah.

I mean, like any device, you control your brightness and you can extend it a bit. Yeah. I guess I'm thinking like long travel. Although most of those flights have outlets on. Yeah. You can also, I mean, it's easier to speak, you're plugging in your laptop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you can also, I mean, it's easier to plug it in your laptop. Yeah, Mrs. U.S. Like a portable, good to have.

One of those big powerful ones. Zell does fantastic for fly. Yeah, that's only the only reason I would want to get this which is anyone give you shit when you're flying with your switch. You get a lot of questions. Like I don't want anything that attracts strangers to talk to me.

No, I haven't had any. And in fact, I was worried. I took a flight last week and the flight attendants were very on it about like when they said, make sure your devices are in airplane mode. One of them was like, I'm gonna go around and check and make sure everyone's in airplane mode. Like she was going around and making sure everyone

I was like, oh, shit. And I was playing my switch. I was like, you know, it's like Gavin had where they were doing like the routed landing. No, I was so weird. But I was like, oh shit, I'm using the switch. She's probably gonna make, she's probably to landing. No, that was so weird. But I was like, oh shit, I'm using the switch. She's probably going to make it, she's probably going to combine.

Is he United's late? It was. And, uh, nope, she didn't ask any questions. She was like, she was keep walking. Have you boycotted United off to that treatment of that passenger? No. No. Gus is a frequent flyer with United.

He's not giving it to us. Here's the deal. Like, and I think I said this on the podcast, like what happened was really fucked up, right? But I don't think it was united policy to beat someone up. Right, I think what we saw, we'll see your marshals, right? What we saw was a breakdown in policy, like a breakdown where people were deprioritized

and like people were not treated like humans. And I wouldn't want to boycott an entire airline over one mistake like that right like do you really want to punish 15,000 people who are like mechanics and they have no fucking input on that People gave me a lot of shit for it on the podcast. No, it's something that I You know, I think like the CEO's response was yeah, and I'm In the appropriate CEO I agree with his thoughts was kind of fucked up, But he didn't want to, and I'm not saying it's acceptable, he didn't want to claim, that they had made a mistake. He like, he didn't want to apologize, right?

He didn't want to admit fault. And they came out the other day that, they reached a settlement with that guy, an undisclosed settlement. I'm sure he has reached. Yeah, I wonder how much money he got. But I was annoyed by how after like all of that happened, there were new sites that started reporting

about that guy's background. Yeah, that's the real it. It doesn't matter at all. That didn't matter a fucking bit for what happened to him. My aunt tried to pull that out. She was like a TSA agent for a long time, so she thinks she knows everything about travel. And I was like, that's irrelevant.

That doesn't matter. But it shows a history of arrogance. Like, no, it fucking doesn't. But does that matter in this situation that he's in right now on this flight, being a pastor on this plane? He was arrogant, so we had to break his face. I love how much you argue with your family.

Oh my God. Yeah, I really do. I really do. Yeah, I would too, if I were you. I'd be in certain situations. They're like, oh, it's Becca again. My aunt, my aunt. And my brother. My brother's worse than I am, oh, it's Becca again. My aunt, my aunt, and my brother.

My brother's worse than I am actually. About fighting your family? Yeah. Except he does it respectfully and I don't. So I like to have my one blowout a year or so. You bring the snark and I love reading it. It's a one-face book, it's where I'm singing. Becca's got some quality snark on Twitter too.

I enjoy it. Thanks. Thanks. Who's Snarky at your, Michael? Michael. Michael's made me aggressive. Yeah. I was always snarky, but I didn't like confrontation, but he's added confrontation to the mix.

It was really unsettling meeting him for the first time, because he's sarcastic about everything on the entire planet. He never know when he's doneastic about everything on the entire planet. You never know when he's on the trip. I have no idea. Yeah, I still feel like he would just like, like, like, like, like, stone face dead pan responses to everything I was saying.

And I was like, do you hate me? I know. Yeah, I know. Like, my mom's still totally dead. It's probably dead. Like, he'll tell her something incredibly sincere. Like, no, my dad died when I was three. She's like, ah, you're such a rascal.

No. Yeah, like he'll tell me something like, is he making fun of me? Like, I just can't tell. Is he mocking me right now? That's not fucking hate nerds like you. Yeah. Do you find you ever have sarcasm competition

or snark competitions? I try, like, when Michael, I try to be all deadpan, like he is and I always go, eh, because I can't handle it, I can't handle it, if you think I'm telling the truth. Do you ever misunderstand that from him, like, if he's being sarcastic? Oh, yeah, and it's usually the other way

where, like, he's being sincere and I just don't believe him, where I'm like, I'll believe it when I see it. Oh, your sister is pregnant. Okay. Yeah. Maybe he hates you, Gavin, because he's afraid that you're going to break up their relationship. I think that was one of the first things we talked about actually. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had a little bromance.

I think was was it a Bernier, a New York chef and Gryffins? Was that the first one? Well, like, like doing this. Yeah. Yeah, picture with them. I think that was maybe the first time we all met. I think it was Bernie's New Year's party. Jeff and Griffin's, when you first met. Was that the first one? Well, like, like, doing this? Yeah. Yeah, the picture with him. I think that was maybe the first time I met. I think it was Bernie's New Year's party.

I did like him, but I don't think I've ever been to one of Bernie's. Or Bernie's, it was up, I remember. That's what I was talking about. All of you game of thrones or something? Yeah. That was a Jeff and Griffin's though, that. Yeah, I think that was the first time I met. Yeah.

It was a Halloween party. Christmas, I don't remember. Something like that. Some big event. Mm-hmm. But yeah, I don't remember. Something like that. Some big event. But yeah, I don't think he was too keen on the curse He didn't care Well, I people might not know the curse. What is the curse? I think we talked about last time I was on Rebecca But yeah every time I came to the US Becca broke up with Whoever she was with. Yeah, she was dating and it wasn't't necessarily me doing the breaking up. Like it went both ways.

So, I mean, it was. And it was absolutely nothing to do with anything I did. Maybe you guys are just meant to be together. Like for a second, a second when Gavin was like 18 or 19, I humored like doing the green card marriage so I could come here. I was like, I'm young, whatever. We can like, I can get that under.

The first marriage out of the way. Yeah. And we did have a Facebook relationship for some reason. We did, yeah, like back when Facebook was like in a relationship with so and so. And you really, you could even like, on a person-to-person basis, let's tell you knew them. From that feature. Yeah, I did it.

Sean from 2012 to 2012. I think it was down in Buda. So before this office, before this one, before that one, like three offices ago, I just left my laptop unattended and Becca set us in a relationship on the face. I didn't do that. Yeah. No, no, I requested it. I didn't like it. All right.

Okay. I sent you the relationship request and you approved it. I thought you sent it. It was consensual. I thought you sent it and then you accepted it from my laptop. No. No, what we did on your laptop. I reckon you'll fill a shit. This was the Congress office and maybe what you're thinking of. You would always leave your computer unlocked

and we would all just go in and post journals as you. Yeah. So if you go on your site to your journals for like 10 years ago, it's just like, I like to lick dogs. Woo-hoo. But recently, it was probably a few years ago. That was a real status. I downloaded it like the entire archive of my Facebook

and I just like to leave it all my stuff on my Facebook. But it actually lists all the people you've been in relationships with. So it was like Meg Turnie, my previous girlfriend, and that was the only people I've had a relationship with. And the Bob promised a backup razor. I was like, what? Oh yeah. It was like Dan Kim that around that time he was like, is that the girl? I stopped. I stopped. That is convinced that we actually had a relationship. I stopped showing my relationships status on Facebook

because that's just like, after the first time I ever broke up with someone and it was just that conversation of, all right, well, I'm gonna change my Facebook status. Like it was always like an awkward part of that. It was weird that it always announced it. It would be like, I know, I wish it didn't surprise it. It was no longer in a relationship with,

Oh, that happened. And then people would be like, like, like all the dudes, I know, I know. No, I had someone comment when I broke up with a boyfriend of mine and it like popped up on people's feeds because it was public at the time. Someone wrote, finally.

And I was like, what is wrong with you? Everyone could see that, including the guy I just broke up with. And now you're dating, aren't you? The guy I get up to comment. I've been thinking about deleting my personal Facebook account. It's just a source of frustration. Like I have, there is, I don't think there's anybody on my personal Facebook page

that I wouldn't have another way to talk to if I wanted to talk to them. Yeah, I only keep mine because it's the only way I can contact my UK friends because I don't have any of their phone numbers. You totally accepted that from my laptop, you tell me. I did not. No, I don't think you were even in the US at that point.

I was. I'm sure you were. I have a really good point. I was. I'm sure you. I have a really good memory. It was a joke. I did too. I know it was a joke. I never thought we were actually in a relationship. You did.

You did. I look how defensive you get about it. It's a joke, I'm pretty sure we never even touched. Let's make it happen. You were my hoodie though. Make it happen. That was a comfy hoodie. Yeah, I still have it.

So you really? Yeah. Can I have it? Yeah, you have one of his hoodies? No, you were definitely dating. Okay, so it was at Comic Island, like 10 years still have it. So you really? Yeah. Can I have it? Yeah, you have one of his hoodies? No, definitely dating. OK, so it was at Comic Eye, like 10 years ago, and it was cold as hell in there, and I went Gavin my hoodie. Oh, because I was cold.

Because I was very gully hoody. I was cold. And the other pictures I've been wearing it, and I still have that hoodie. I found it in the closet the other day. Don't get rid of it, I want that hoodie. No, you should keep it as yours now. I mean, forever. It's always mine.

It's always mine. It's always been yours, but shouldn't give it to Gavin ever. Yeah, why not? How much weight have you gained in the last ten years? Have you filled out as a man? Yeah, well, 10 pounds Yeah, you gain ten pounds in ten years probably I'll bring it. I'll bring it. We'll see if it fits Do you have any photos of him wearing it? Yeah. You can do like a then and now side by side comparison? Yeah, there was actually a video on Reddit floating around like a month ago from that Comic

Con. I think you're wearing... When ever was trying to get you in Jol to do fights from Revas' play? Yeah, I think you're wearing that hoodie in the background. I think the probably. I don't know, we've ever told Story of War. You've been on the podcast, but excuse me, the first event you ever went to. You fuckers.

It wasn't me. I was not there. They played a joke on you where they tried to convince you that you had to spend the night in the booth after the floor was closed. I truly believe them. I was like, yeah, it was, it was Nathan is like, that's what really sealed the deal. Like, it would have been Bernie and Jeff. I was like, yeah, whatever, guys, No, Nathan timed in and added validity to it.

Where he's like, no, like someone's gonna steal our merch. And it's always like the youngest person or whatever has to sleep in the booth. And so they kept it up, like 15 minutes, I was like, seriously? Seriously. And so I was like, I'm gonna get raped. This is gonna be horrible.

Like I was just playing out the worst case scenario ever. You're gonna be the frog. Why are you doing this to me? And finally like hours later, they're like nah, I just kidding. So you were gonna do it? I mean I felt like I had to. They said you look like you were gonna cry.

I was so over, I was 24 years old. Did you guys try to convince me to do that at Pexis? The first year that I helped you guys? I don't remember that. Oh yeah. That seems like a repeatable prank. They could get a lot of people with that one. That, that of it. It was 24.

So yeah. How old were you when we were in a relationship? 24. Does the same year? No, maybe 25. No, probably 25. Okay. Was I still a Josh?

Do you remember? Uh, well, I just arrived. And then still a Josh? Do you remember? Well, I just arrived. And then we broke it. So you just knocked it. So yeah, either 20 quay, the rebound. So quick. Wait, Josh must have hated that. I, now he went on Facebook.

Yeah, I think about it now like seven years later. I really didn't think about it. It's all at the time. It seems like the Gavin free way to be. Yeah. Hey, who cares? really didn't think about it. It's all at the time. This was like the Gavin free way to be. Yeah. Hey, who cares? Just don't think about it. I told.

So I had to, I told. I had something weird happen last night. I went to the pharmacy. I was in the drive-through. And my pharmacy has two lanes in the drive-through. One's the window, one's a little pneumatic tube, right? So I'm driving around and a car pulls in front of me so we like arrive at the drive-through at the same time. At the window

there's already a car pneumatic tube open. I go to the right to the tube, car in front of me goes to the left to the window. So they're second in line. I'm potentially next in line if they're doing the stagger system. So the car gets their prescription. The woman in the car behind it gets out, bangs on the window, slaps a piece of paper against the glass. Huh? Like at the pharmacy in her lane.

Slaps her prescription against the glass. And it's like, I was here before that other car. Treat me next, help me next. And the guy just looked at her like, what the hell? And then he buzzed me on the intercoms. Like, how can I help you? And she got so pissed off.

A bitch. It was insane. Why did she go to the pneumatic tube line? I didn't like, you chose poorly. Like, is that my fault? This is just how the system works. It's just like that. Yeah.

It's the same with like, drive-through windows too. Yeah, or like at a grocery store. If you go into a line with two people and there's an empty line next to you, you don't get pissed off at that person for getting out of their faster than you. It's so weird. So now that you'd like confrontation, did you scream at that bitch? I just stared at her the whole time.

What was great is when he finally did get to her, she had her window rolled up. And so she couldn't hear him talking. He was like, when would you like to pick this up? And she was just there looking at her phone. Ma'am, ma'am, hello. When would you like to pick this up? And she was just there looking at her phone. Ma'am, ma'am, hello. When would you like to pick it up? She just, it never registered. I like how she got out of her car,

banged on the window and did that. Yeah, I had this piece of paper all. Like she probably wasted more of her life in that moment than it would have to serve you first and then her, yeah, come next. Really weird. She should have just gotten in the pneumatic tube like, I don't know. I don't get it.

Or just not be a kind like she was like 60 years old too like she should know life. I know she's old and crotchety. I can I can relate. I can probably probably lived in Austin a whole life. Yeah. Hey, so these newies, all these Californians. The yeah, the Austin subreddit's fucking terrible. I talk about it all the time. But there was a post on the Austin subreddit's fucking terrible. I talk about it all the time. But there was a post on the Austin subreddit a couple days ago

calling out the mods for not clamping down against serial troll accounts. And it was a fairly popular post and it got removed. Uh-oh. So now then there was a follow-up post yesterday like, hey, what the fuck? That was actually a popular post asking why aren't the mods patrolling against these troll accounts and it just gets removed? One of the trolls became a mod. I mean, that's the speculation.

Is that the troll accounts are mod alt accounts? Interesting. What's the point? Who knows? I can talk shit. I've had a few of those in my day. Who knows? Did you guys just like someone who wants to troll people

that you can't in your position of power? Shifty. Hit, let me read this here. One of my everyone that this episode of the podcast is also brought to you by, oh, you can get that. It's also brought to you by Sherry's Barries. Mother's Day is coming up and Sherry's Barries is offering, you got it?

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Barbara. Ah! You like? Barbara and the actual mother. You're gonna need a pit of sauce. Get your eyes good choice. Wow, shit. I missed my mouth. Everyone saw that.

We cut to me. Goal work. So I got married on... Oh, in the box. Oh, come on. He's dripped in the box. Oh! It's okay. It's still good. He's dripped in the box. Oh, it's okay.

It's no good. He's claimed it now. Says, so I got married on Mother's Day weekend. Now that I'm a mother, Michael's like doubly fucked. He disappoints me every year. Does he ever watch these? Mm-hmm. Never in full.

What? Never in full. It's watch pocket and full. He'll like watch it in full. Is watch the podcast and pull. He'll like watch it like, like, blive a little bit and then he never loops back. Does that mean he has a first member account? I hooked him up. Oh, okay.

The employee just count. We blinked. The employee button. You could press my mom listen to the first when I was on. And then she asked about always open, but I wouldn't send it to her. Probably a good idea.

Yeah, my parents watch always open. Yeah, your parents are always watching, I'll always see them. They're watching. I commend your ability to like, keep it real knowing that in the back of your head. What's the most personal thing you've said on always open?

Just everything, I don't know. I can't pinpoint it to one moment, but there's a lot of things that I say because I just don't know I can't pinpoint it to one moment but There's a lot of things that I say because I just don't give a fuck and then I think hmm I really hope no one ever brings us up in any family conversation Yeah, for the most part. I'm the same way where I'll say whatever it doesn't matter me But man a couple months ago my mom was like I saw the video of you During the charity stream and you got really drunk and I was like I don't video of you during the charity stream. And you got really drunk. And I was like, I don't wanna hear it, mom.

I don't like don't talk to me about it. I'm gonna grow up now. And she was like, I'm just worried about it. I was like, stop. You can't post me a random more. I'm an adult. So is she not an alcoholic? No.

No. What did you get it from then? The bottle. You don't need to get it from someone if you're like, yeah, you'd be pretty spontaneous. No, I feel like you catch it. Well, it is genetic. A lot of it is like an addictive personality. You just need one like friend or family member who's like, this is normal. And then you're like, okay, no way. No way. No, sure. If you're just like, it's over like your threshold and your ability, like how much you your ability like how much you enjoy it how much you need it how much your life sucks

So you think if you're not calling your life is more likely to it's because you're trying to I think you're trying to deal with Yeah, she's that you're having like do you remember that did we worked with as a call center who just like You're like your secret like little flask, and we just like drink it up Like a like a like a like a route 44 like a big gas station So there's something that was always full of what was it vodka? Yeah, so what you trying to escape this You guys are so happy to be doing this podcast with you. Hey What I've got is this like 445 No, I think it's like 430. Yeah, it's not.

No, 420 went that. 435, so I meant, but I guess not. That would be way too much. Yeah. I don't know, I don't count. So 420, it's 420, just a week, right? That's what one's just on. Yes, and that was only like a month or two ago.

Dude, her episode of Million Dollars, but that's coming out, I don't know when it comes out, but she is so fucking funny in that episode. 47, thank you, Patrick. This one? Yeah. That's only been seven weeks. So you don't know what's coming out, it's really funny?

It's one of the best ones I think. She's very emotive and she plays up everything with her entire body, which is always really funny. Yeah. She was great on the podcast. She's kind of personally was really enthusiastic, like really emoted, like you said, about whatever it is that she's talking about.

I can't believe she put a fork in it, but. I know, I can. I had to go back and watch that, just because there was so much pullabaloo around it. And I also needed to see Gus Wattelot. Any first member can watch both of those things. It's part of the podcast post show. Was that the last time you've had to run off

and this own time you ever had to run off? Have you ever shoot your pants? I've shot my pants when I was in kindergarten. Okay, never again, that doesn't count. You're still learning how to spank her at that point. No, I mean, but I was in control, but like it was like a thing where the bathroom was occupied and I couldn't get in.

And I think it's scarred me for the rest of my life. Do you count it as you? Being nervous about not having access to a bathroom. Do you count your shitting your pants if you feel like you have to poop and then you like prairie dog get a little bit and a little bit touches your underwear? But nothing I like goes back in. Does it go back in? It goes back in but you still get a little sting.

You're right. You didn't set your pants. You'll call it in your hands. No, it doesn't count. I told this story once on the podcast before, but it was a long time ago, so I'll tell it again. It's actually really embarrassing. I was years ago, must have been like, God, like 16 or 17 years ago, I was leaving by myself up in North Austin,

I had an apartment by the Arboretum. And I was on the toilet, I was taking by myself up in North Austin. I had an apartment by the Arboretum. And I was on the toilet. I was taking a dump and my phone started ringing. It was before like smartphones, right? So it's like my cell phone is ringing. So I'm calling you on your cell, you're calling me. Right, and I had left it in the living room because since it wasn't a smartphone,

you couldn't do anything with it. It didn't matter. So you take it to the bathroom with you. It's like shit, like I'm here mid-dump, but my phone's ringing. It might be important. So I start waddling off of the toilet. What?

To go pick up my phone while it's ringing. Oh, God. And I grab it and it's like, whatever, it's like a junk phone call or whatever. And it was not worth getting up. I hang up, leave the phone there. I start waddling back to the toilet. And I see like a tiny little nugget on the carpet.

Oh, God. Like it is falling off mid-waddle. And it was like, oh, great. I'm great. I'm doing this. I'm done. I'm like finished taking the dump and then come back out and like fucking sterilize my carpet right there. I'm getting up your dog shit, but it's your own shit. It was like a grogan that broke free. I just got a grogan. It's like the tiniest little nugget. Goodness right there. I think we need Gavin dictionary.com I

Don't think grogans a British thing. I've never heard that word Gavin dictionary I've only heard from Gavin But I get I've only ever heard you Dinkles in my day. Yeah, think of it Isn't there like an actual word for it the little the shit that's on your ass? hanging out Barry say that's almost comedy feces is there. Niko Berry says that's the most comedy. Fese says the name of it.

Well, I should poo. I don't think that's a specific name at like different stages. It's got it. It's like uppercolon poo. And now it's like, Oh, percolon. Eskimo were snow developing poo. Yeah.

So gross. So have you ever cheesed off? No. Not even giving back. No, I was like my crown? No. I've never given birth. No, I was like my crowning achievement. I didn't shit myself. No pun intended. Yeah.

Like my best friend was in the room because she's a labor and delivery nurse. And she even brought air freshener in case I did shit myself. So it wouldn't be overwhelming. And I didn't need it. It's like a real bro right there. Yeah, yeah. She was down.

I thought it just happens because you're pushing so hard. Yeah, well, you just didn't need to start. Because you starved yourself for like a real bro right there. Yeah, yeah, she was down. I thought it just happens because you're pushing so hard. Yeah, well, you just didn't need to. Had you starved yourself for like a week ahead of time? I barely had to push too. Like, I was in labor for a really long time. So when it was time, like, she just came right out. But yeah, I was really happy about that. But I've done like, dangerously close,

just shitting myself, but I've never actually done it. Like, I've waddled into convenience stores, screaming. Where's the bathroom? Did you go, did you park there just to poo? Yeah, no, okay, so I'll tell you a story. I, we were eating some really spicy Thai food. And right before we left, my stomach did that little flip. We were like, eh, it's alright, maybe not.

But it was only like a three mile drive home. I was like, I can make it home. But about halfway there, I realized it was bad and I had to pull over. And so I pulled over the next gas station I saw and it was under construction, severely. It was adjacent to a bus station. And so I ran in, I ran in so fast that my shoe fell off.

No, God. And I didn't give a fuck. I was like, what shoe on? And I'm like, that how you and Michael that he found your shoe? So he's real hard. Wide eyed, like what's happening? And I'm like, looking around frantically in the gas station

and the guys in the back, he's like, go through the door, it's in the bus station side. So I go in and it's like, the bathroom is just the studs. They're aren't walls and there's a door, but you can see like there's like a good three inch clearing on either side of the wall. So I'm like oh my god I hope nobody comes in. So I just go in and like you know I do my thing. I'm like oh it's just horrible in there. It's like an open air and I know this guy can hear me. And I finally come out like do the walk

of shame and the guy in the gas station goes Did you fell? I'm like what? Did you fell in the toilet? There was a oh my god Well, at least you made it to the moon. Yeah, you didn't shake your pants. Yeah, that's an achievement right there Yeah, we were we were out in the woods somewhere. We were doing this video sponsored video, and it was out in the middle of nowhere, but apparently there was these portapoddies that were at the entrance

of the place, then you drive in, we had already driven in, and someone's like, oh, there's no bathroom out here, so I just went into the woods and peed. But then these other two girls who were coming on the shoot showed up, and I was just like, yeah, I just finished being in the grass out there. And they're like, oh, you're really lucky. We went to use a porta potty. And there was a shit in there. And there was a smaller shit on top of a shit. And they're like, they're just stacking them up.

Building a little raft to a log cabin. When we did that, the trials, immersion, we were out in the middle of nowhere. There was a porta potty there, and at one point in the day, I need to take a piss. So I went out to the porta potty, draw a pat and start peeing,

done, turn around and leave. And in the back corner, like above the door, was a giant wasp nest It was like holy fuck. I could have seen that I would not I would definitely not have gotten it It was active yeah, there were wasps like crawling all over I would be scared that one would be in the toilet and like sting me in my couch. Yep. Luckily I was standing But still had my dick out. Yeah in a room full with with the wall. You think about how swollen your dick could have gotten

First time for everything Get that swole dick All right, well, it's about time to wrap up here after Becca's great start. I don't think we can do anything to top that So thanks everybody for watching. Let's check out the try hard podcast after this. Yeah, yeah Have you been anime idiot Becca? No, that's a great first one. Okay, get on it. We should end my ears Yeah, right. Yeah. Have you been animated yet, Becca? No. That's the great first one. Okay, get on it. We should animate ours.

All right, thanks for watching guys. I'll see you guys. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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a podcast. Subscribe or know. You do yes?