Rooster Teeth Podcast - People Poison Cats - #416

Episode Date: February 21, 2017

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Starting point is 00:00:00 It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers, Will Arnett and Anthony Mackie comes the new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motor-mouthed outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland.
Starting point is 00:00:29 If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church, twisted metal, streaming now now only on peacock That was a long that's a whole other story hey everyone welcome to the receipt podcast this week brought to you by audible and Casper is and Casper. It's Audible. Casper. Uh, I'm Gus. I'm Gavin. I'm Brandon. I'm Chris. I'm Gus. This is a Presidents Day podcast. So that means we celebrate the president. We celebrate. We'll just present the office of the president. I think we celebrate a past president. Thank George Washington's birthday. It used to be George Washington's birthday and Abraham Lincoln's birthday.
Starting point is 00:01:25 We're like two different holidays and they decided just to combine them and now we have presidents day. But who, who, which person is actually on this? It's closer to George Washington's. It's closer to George Washington's. Because yeah, Lincoln's on the 12th. President's Day is always on a Monday.
Starting point is 00:01:39 Oh. Or so they, it's not like a set day. It's always sliding. So we're pre-taping as what I'm getting at. So sorry, I can't read. Today is the Queen Wednesday. Is it? Oh, to our president, this day is for you.
Starting point is 00:01:53 Past presidents. Oh, okay, is it specifically past? It's just probably presidents. It is the dance day. I'm looking it up. Do you think Obama right now, since his first president's day then, he's just like, you know, soaking it in.
Starting point is 00:02:07 Is it like an extra father's day? Like, do his kids give him like a happy president's day card? How many are getting a lot of at-tweets? So it's a day that only six people can get a card full. That's so wide. How many are the presence other? Uh, so there's, uh, Obama, one bush, two bush, Clinton, Carter, Reagan's dead. Fort died right? Fort died. Yes, there's five. Five. Yeah. But not including Trump.
Starting point is 00:02:36 Not including Trump. Okay. Are we going to count Pence in like three months? Sorry. I won't. Okay. I'm doing. I'm not. I'm not. I just got to get that in. Sorry, I won't. I won't do it. No, no, no, I'm not. I just gotta get that in. Hey, I was, I do not mind political talk. Talk whatever, say whatever the fuck. Really? Yeah, I don't care. Because I kept it specifically non-political last week.
Starting point is 00:02:53 We were non-political for like eight years. And look what fucking happened. I'm not doing that shit anymore. We're obviously have to talk about it. I believe us. I like that. Us specifically. Us specifically. I never got political like on that. I believe that. Us specifically. I never got political on social media until this year.
Starting point is 00:03:09 Yeah, that's like, fuck it. I didn't eat it. I'm not even from this country and I got that. I had a thought in the shower the other day. I was like, I'm really bad at drawing. I struggled to draw stick figures. And I was like, if Donald Trump can be president, I'm going to be a cartoonist.
Starting point is 00:03:24 I want to start a web comic, right? Like, if that can happen, anything can happen. It is a weird, it's oddly inspirational. Right, I was like, I just took inspiration from it. Like, I can do whatever I want. So did you try to join? I'm going to start. Like, I'm gonna go, like, fuck it.
Starting point is 00:03:38 I'm gonna make a web comic. And I'm gonna put it in my Rusteef account. I'm gonna be like, look, I'm a cartoon artist now. Yeah, but in three months, you're gonna end up on the front page of CNN, like the FBI coming to arrest you. I keep trying to read presents. It's like, it's really long and we're just talking so I can't read all of it.
Starting point is 00:03:55 The crazy thing for me, the same effect has just been other people who could become president. Like before, I was like, shorts and ager. Like, assuming he was eligible to run, he's not because I was in Born America, but... Oh, he, that'd be weird. he could never be present, but now, oh man, yeah, I wish.
Starting point is 00:04:09 It's just, it's completely weird. Mark Zuckerberg's gonna run for some kind of political office. I can see that. It's just rich people. Yeah. Yeah, that's really what it boils down to. Like, I joked about it at one point, but I think it would be interesting.
Starting point is 00:04:23 I think we talked about, we definitely talked about this in the podcast, but it would be interesting. I think we talked about, we definitely talked about this in the podcast, but it would be interesting in 2020 to try and like crowdfund a run for the president, like Kickstarter, Indiegogo. And then I think Bernie even suggested like starting like an internet party, where like your whole platform is a preservation of net neutrality and the preservation and like the advancement of the internet as a as a commerce engine. So someone tomorrow is probably going to start a kick fun or kick a kick. A fun razor. A kick starter for
Starting point is 00:04:53 with it you and Bernie. You guys did the joke right? It was Sarge and Simmons for president and then church and Tucker for president. Was that part of like a campaign or rock the vote campaign? I think it was yeah Could you get fictional persons to become president? That was a I don't think so that was an episode of a of a black mayor black mayor. Yeah. Yeah Except cartoon character pen for it was a it was a MP though, right? What do you mean like it wasn't like the prime minister anything? It was like a member of parliament Yeah, maybe I don't remember. Yeah, what are the rules for writing candidates? I think you have to be born in the US, which means you have to be born,
Starting point is 00:05:30 which means you have to be real. But so now, I think the one that made the authority, if a single state wanted to do it, they probably could. States have like an unbelievable amount of power and when it comes to this, like sometimes like, they just leave certain candidates off the ballot that they don't like. I think they did it in like the 60s, they did it like, I mean, Lincoln, like any of them that you vote for the party, right? So you just vote for the ideas, really. And if they did that here, but they just had the figurehead be a fictional person,
Starting point is 00:05:57 that would be the same. Well, you could have Captain America run for president, and you would just have all the the values of that party. Well, you have an American iron man like they have the same It's the same concept even what's going on now like with the registration act the mutant registration act Like we have to know people who could be a threat and we have to know where they are at all times They have to be on a roster. I think a lot of that stuff was written as commentary on popular culture and stuff is happening in society. Yeah, so it's not like the US is copying Marvel. It's more Marvel was copying. No, that's not what I'm applying.
Starting point is 00:06:33 What I'm saying is that story's already been told. So if you wanted to, it's your character, it totally works. Yeah. Yeah, I do get back to the point. No, I don't think you can have a facial character. I can see what you mean about you have to have a passport probably you probably have unless you're a queen Yeah, but you said she doesn't have a passport and in fact James Bond does have a passport He does the US the UK government made an actual real working passport That his James Bond and Daniel Craig's picture. No, yeah, that, that's a counterfeit. That's something his name's not James Bond.
Starting point is 00:07:05 It was made by the government. That's just seems fucked up. I read something the other day about, it probably doesn't what, but it's a real, about that universe, you know, like, that supposedly like James Bond has a license to kill or whatever, but then I read like this depressing fact that was that said something like,
Starting point is 00:07:19 in reality, those kinds of agents would not have a license to kill because anything they do outside of the UK is illegal anyway. So it's like they don't have a license to kill because anything they do outside of the UK is illegal anyway. So it's like they don't need a license to kill. Isn't it opposite with the CIA? What do you mean? I mean, anything they do, they don't have any kind of authority inside the US, but they have, I guess, some kind of legal authority from the CIA operating outside the US.
Starting point is 00:07:40 Yeah, but the US law does just dig. Right. Jurstiction over. But I mean, like, they're not gonna get in trouble or fired from the CIA. Unless it was like a youth. I guess they need permission. Can't just go around poisoning leaders.
Starting point is 00:07:53 It could have been like a UN thing where this, you know, everyone in the United Nations agree like a diplomatic community thing from lethal weapon. Like that. So do you think it's funny? So supposedly the North Korean, the brother of the North Korean president was poisoned by two women? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:11 Like specifically they pointed that out. Like what do you think the context was? Like he was getting seduced and they like fed him like a cherry or strawberry, which is poison. No, I like to think that's how I'd want to go if I was poisoned by two women. It happened in an airport. So I think that's how i'd want to go if i was poisoned by two women it happened in an airport so i think that what i what i heard was that bathroom they uh... they poisoned him with needles so they probably ran up to him it stuck in real
Starting point is 00:08:32 fast oh because he said he got something felt something in the back of the next the uh... the image that from the security camera of one of the women i don't shank him at that point why but but what about to employ because they they poisoned him so they could get away like he doesn't immediately die like now It's like if you if that happened to you you would think maybe you just got bit by a bug or the woman behind me
Starting point is 00:08:51 Yeah, I mean you think bugs don't bite you when there's a woman behind I can't connect to the I don't know if you see now Maybe you think it was weird like why are they two women so close to me? Oh, do we have it? I can't connect to it for some reason. But the under-affiltered can find it. But one of the assassins they have they released the security camera footage of her this morning. She's wearing a shirt that says LOL. Which I think is pretty baller like if you're gonna go and kill something like I'm gonna put my LOL shirt on today. It is a weird thing to think about like when you're picking out your clothes at the closet like what you know, what's my kill shit?
Starting point is 00:09:26 Well, I think you know, you want something that's going to throw people off. So I guess you go for the, you know, the opposite effect. I get that. It's just a weird thing. So, oh, there, there, we got it right there. I so I, yeah, I heard about this repeatedly and it's actually really annoying to me because I got probably a hundred tweets yesterday saying, hey look, this guy looks like you with the photo of Kim Jong-un. You get that a lot,
Starting point is 00:09:51 right? You'll ask if you're Asian. Yeah, I was like, thank you. He's kind of, you're not. We're both wearing glasses. I don't think we look the same. He had stubble on his face. Do you think I look like that, guys? You're skinnier. Whip him up. I haven't seen him. Kim Jong-un. I think you guys have similar personalities. What? Apparently, he just likes to livenam. I think you guys have similar personalities. What? Apparently he just likes to live life. Not anything like to do that. Not anything like to do that. I don't think he looks like you've been there.
Starting point is 00:10:15 I think it's kind of the glasses. I think it's the glasses, yeah. Yeah, I think this is the photo that they send all the time to me. I mean, if you put a vacuumed end to your face and it just sucked everything a little bit in, like this, you would look more like it. But was that movie where the president had a twin brother, and the president died, but they didn't want to lose power? No, it took his twin brother and put him in a power.
Starting point is 00:10:40 It's Dave. Yeah. And it's not a twin brother. Oh, he just a random dude who happens to look exactly like the president. Oh, that's perfect. Maybe you's not a twin brother. It's a- Oh, just a random dude. He just a random dude who happens to look exactly like the president. Oh, that's perfect. Maybe you can take over North Korea. This dude wasn't the leader in North Korea, you know that right?
Starting point is 00:10:51 But I mean, the reason that they think he might have been killed is because he has some kind of claim to the leadership. He was the older brother and- And a half brother. Sure, the older half brother, but still the oldest son of Kim Jong Il, so he could be a threat like game of launch. Do not even float that out there.
Starting point is 00:11:10 Do you know what just happened to this guy? He got stabbed with needles and died in a Malaysian airport. Do not even say I have any claim to the North Korean leadership. No, I don't want it. No, I have nothing, nothing. So fuck are you trying to kill me? I'm sorry. You're the hope.
Starting point is 00:11:26 I'm a, you're the hope. You're the hope. You can bring stability to the East. How are there's a woman behind me with a needle? You can bring stability to the East. No, what? No, absolutely not. Gustavola for real quick.
Starting point is 00:11:39 That's so much. So it's funny how all of that comes out so soon. You know, right now there's a crazy amount of leaks going on and apparently CNN knows them all. And I think the president was complaining about it yesterday. And I think the funniest thing was CNN reporting that Donald Trump is watching CNN in the White House right now. And for him, it's like, how do you not know who the leak is?
Starting point is 00:12:04 Just like look around, one of these people in the room is leaking, like it's insane that he doesn't have an idea who that is. I'm not sure they might have an idea, they're just not saying. Like it's rusty, but no one wants to say it. Right, like, you gotta figure that stuff out. I'm sure that they're working to try to figure out who it is. Maybe it's Donald Trump.
Starting point is 00:12:23 Maybe, maybe. That would be like, when he's asleep, like he has like, he's like instead of sleepwalking, he's sleep leaking. He's like, he wakes up. Like he's still asleep, he picks up the phone and just starts like, saying stuff and then hangs it up. Well, did you ever hear that rumor? I think that in the late 80s or early 90s,
Starting point is 00:12:39 there was a reporter who called the tower and then Trump's PR guy picked up. But it was supposedly Donald Trump with like a really shitty, you know, different accent. Yeah, he pretends to be his own publicist for a while. Yeah, I don't know if that's true. If you say allegedly for everything or you'll get sued. I think even if you say allegedly,
Starting point is 00:12:57 this is a protective tool. That's like saying, you have to tell me if you're a cop. That's not true. That's like saying no offense, but you're an idiot. Yeah, it's like what? I'm just saying. That's right if you're a cop. That's not true. That's like, say no offense, but you're an idiot. Yeah. It's like, what? I'm just saying.
Starting point is 00:13:08 That's right, you are just saying. I hate that phrase. Is that what you say? No, I don't say it. I just don't like it when other people do it. It's just saying. It's like, what is that trying? Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 00:13:17 You're just, you said it. Well done. You're not making it any easier. Chris, do you say that? No. No. What is your most annoying habit? My most annoying habit?
Starting point is 00:13:26 I don't know, you guys tell me. I don't feel like I'd spend enough time with you to figure that out. I had a, yesterday, I went and was talking to Chris, I had to go ask him if he could be on the podcast, and I decided I was gonna go ask him in person instead of asking him to, you know. It's hard from Sayner.
Starting point is 00:13:40 Messenger? Because I wanted to reply right away. Like I didn't want to send a message and be like, oh, did he get it? He did not get it. So I walked over to where Chris works. I didn't want to send a message and be like oh did he get it? He did not get it so I walked over to where Chris you know comes to me in person and And Chris is sitting there and Aaron is sitting next to him and ask Chris hey listen You know we're pre-daving the podcast can you come do it and then Aaron just like gives him this glowering look like you better
Starting point is 00:14:01 Not do it and Aaron's like we're really busy and Chris is like You went to New Zealand, I can do a podcast. I think you're most annoying habit is that you're always near Aaron. Yeah, that's pretty annoying for me. This isn't really annoying, but it was always particular. I don't know if you do it still, but we're in Ralph Oblinato, their south office,
Starting point is 00:14:21 after you would finish something that you were working on, you and you were going home for the day, you would finish something that you were working on you and you were going home for the day you would immediately run to your car. You would sprint down the stairs, sprint through the parking lot and get in your car and not on like when you had something serious this was every day. Like you saved yourself about 10 seconds. Yeah but over time that built that. It's also it's like everyone thinks I'm got really important stuff to do. No, none of us thought that. No, what I think is, I bet no one ever asked you to do anything on the way out because
Starting point is 00:14:52 you were like, oh shit, he's getting it. It's not that I think you have something important to do. What I think is you're acting like a child because it's only children who run everywhere. Like you see kids running and it's like, why not just walk? It's the same thing. You're like, it's the same thing, you're like the same thing with you where you're running instead of just walking. I used to do that, I used to run home from the pub
Starting point is 00:15:08 because walking was too boring and slow. It's just sprint. Isn't that how you stepped on a hedgehog? Yeah, you stepped on a hedgehog? No, I stepped on a family of hedgehogs. What? Yeah. It was an accident.
Starting point is 00:15:19 Well, I only stepped on the hedgehog babies. I was walking home and I just was, I just my foot skidded, I was like, oh, I stepped in dog shit. And then there was a hedgehog babies. I was walking home and I just was, I just my foot skidded. I was like, oh, I stepped in dog shit. And then there was a hedgehog sniffing around my foot. And I was like, oh, oh, that's a cross, like four or five little baby hedgehogs. Did you have to adopt them and like,
Starting point is 00:15:35 you killed them? No, I just, I did this and then I wiped my shoe on the ground. You guys just have hedgehogs running around? Yeah, they're really common. Really? That's awesome. I love hedgehogs. We have hedgehogs and badges. Yeah, they're really common. Really? That's awesome. I love hedgehogs.
Starting point is 00:15:46 We have hedgehogs and badges. In your backyard or anywhere? Like an Arnie or some foxes. It's like, hey, I have this raccoons everywhere. And there's no raccoons in England, which is kind of strange. Yeah, I just got a dog and his profession is hunting that stuff.
Starting point is 00:15:58 He makes money. Yeah, he's a scarier. So I stood on all the stuff to the right. Oh, I was like, the sp spikes didn't work then, huh? One of the worst guilt I've ever had in my life. So your dog has a profession. Yeah. A lot of dogs have professions.
Starting point is 00:16:15 A lot of, I mean, historically, a lot of, I didn't say it that way. My dog has a profession. Yeah, look, there's a lot of dogs like, look, like a lot of people have sheep. Your dog has a nature. A lot of people have sheep right the only reason they have a sheep dog or a herding dog is so It hurts Like it's like that it has to do that or it won't get food
Starting point is 00:16:36 You're gonna won't get shelter your dog isn't hunting or hurting or anything right? Well, not yet because we we live in an apartment But like our god we have a same dog, we have a scarier at a dog, and all right our house in Houston. And he, we have no squirrels in the backyard. We have no badgers. Because if he sees a rodent, he immediately goes for it.
Starting point is 00:16:57 And he has these razor sharp teeth that just kill. You should see him, like, let me see if a video where he the way he said sometimes I just it's just what no this is not the right video. I want to see that video. Okay so all right yeah so I went to New Orleans with Paula for my birthday and we were at a town for about three I think you uh probably not like 45. It feels like that. Paul loves reminding me I'm in my 30s
Starting point is 00:17:28 and I just can't wait so she's there anyway. So we went in to Orleans for like three or four days and we couldn't put our puppy at a boarding place because he's too young, he has enough shots. So we had a friend, a neighbor who came in like three or four times a day to take them out but they were just, I would have taken care of your dog your I don't trust you to take care of oh, man Good to be fair. You don't have any dogs. Yeah, I don't know how to take care of a dog
Starting point is 00:17:55 You just walk it let it poop feed it Yeah, I can do it. Oh You take it to get an ice cream and like yeah, what do you imagine care of a dog is? I mean, you, you, you, you, like, feed it and then you take it outside and it pees and it poops and then you take it back up and you water it, right? You water it. You water it.
Starting point is 00:18:13 Yeah, you stick it by the water. I mean, I, I had, I had pets. I had a cat once. I don't like that it's always had. Like, what happened to these pets? Yeah, cat, got hit by a car. Were you taking outside to water it? No, I just like to go out and explore It was sad. That is sad. It was like stepping on hedgehog sad, but like no, I won't let nobody own those hedgehogs I mean that cat lived his life
Starting point is 00:18:39 Yeah, life's about risk. Okay, so we were gone for about three or four days We did have a friend come in and take care of the dogs, but I had two security cameras. Just in order monitor and make sure they're okay, make sure one didn't get out. And there are those little nest cameras, and they work great. You can monitor it from your phone, but they're very small,
Starting point is 00:18:57 and they can't easily hide them. Like they are like these little round cameras with a stand. You're gonna put them on the wall. You can, or you can just plop them somewhere. You'll plop them, then the cable will pull them down. Well, it's not permanent, anyway. So it was mounted on my desk.
Starting point is 00:19:13 Like it wasn't on the ground, it was in the desk. And this puppy is a lot of energy, and he's just super curious. So he just walks around everywhere looking at stuff. So at some point, he saw the camera. So he got on the couch, stood up on the side of it, knocked it over, and like started inspecting it. And you think he just look at it and walk away. But I don't know if he was trying to eat it or what he thought he was doing, but he keeps going and coming back consistently until the thing just kind of like heals over. And you think, all right, he's done. And then he comes back again and completely smashes it.
Starting point is 00:19:47 And as he knows, it's gone, walks away like a boss. It would have been more bus if he just took a dump, right? Right. He took a dump nearby. That's what I understand about puppies. Like 90% of the time, he goes out to the balcony to do his business because we have grass that shipped to us and it's great goes in the balcony it's it's wonderful grass that's shit. Wait wait wait you buy tough. No it's not turf it's real grass. Wait
Starting point is 00:20:12 if it tough is real grass. Oh I guess turf. What do you buy like a couple pieces of sod or yeah so there's this company called fresh patch. All right. They're not paying a shit Well, every two weeks they shit me grass from California and it's really great because it comes in this small cardboard box And then you take the cardboard box you put it on the balcony and then it's designed to where you just cut the tape And then you take off the top and then all of a sudden you just have this nice little box for them like a little box It's great and like dogs love it. They immediately go to it They're like oh this isn't some shit plastic. I'm gonna do my business here. So 90% of the time he does his business there
Starting point is 00:20:55 But then sometimes he just peas or poops Some roles in the apartment and I just want to get inside his head like I don't understand the thought process And I literally sit there and try to think What goes through his mind. And then I realize he's just kind of like a little dumb animal. Well, yeah, I think the problem is his brain is about this big. And then that means that he just poops
Starting point is 00:21:13 when he needs poop come out. Yeah. Okay. You buy grass from California that's shipped to you so you can put it on your balcony. Yeah. Why don't you just take your dog out? We do we take them out, but I mean they pee and poop a lot And especially like if it's like midnight or 1 a.m. Or 2 a.m
Starting point is 00:21:36 This seems like the most easiest way to potty train a dog because the most inefficient thing in the world What is that you about? First grass everywhere. You can't just get some grass here in Austin. You have to get grass shipped from California. Yeah, where am I gonna go to buy grass in Austin? I'll give you some grass. I'll give you some grass. You're gonna buy grass.
Starting point is 00:21:55 You're gonna buy grass. You're gonna buy grass. And buy a piece of sawd or two. Why would I do that? When for 20 bucks, grass shows up at my house. And it's like a fucking train. It's like an ancient era. fucking fun. I'm talking internet. I don't care about the environment, but that is so wasteful.
Starting point is 00:22:08 How is that wasteful? You're having a ship all of this grass from California? Yeah, and then the grass dies. I throw it away, all grass dies. And then I take the card box that it comes in and then I put it in the dumpster. Or sorry, I recycle it. They get money, their business keeps surviving.
Starting point is 00:22:24 So you can't just plant this grass in some mud and keep it forever On my balcony. No, why not because the dog's just ridiculous You need to refresh it if a dog keeps on it will rain on it and wash it and grow it No, that's not how it works if it's just cut up in a box How deep does floor have to be for grass to live? What do you mean, floor? It's this concrete balcony. Yeah, but if you put it on like a foot of mud, will it live?
Starting point is 00:22:48 I'm not gonna do that. You have any idea how difficult that is? And the whole point is that after a couple of weeks, you can throw it away. Because if you have dogs pissing and shitting on grass constantly, it's gonna start smelling. Do you wanna hear poop? Is anybody wanna hear poop story?
Starting point is 00:23:03 Oh my god, what is it with you? Are you always, you feel like go to poop? How long want to hear a poop story? Oh my God, what is it with you? Are you always, you'd be like, go to a poop? How long we were about 23 minutes? Forget it, forget it, no poop story. I can't believe you bike Ross from a different state. That's hilarious. I can't believe you see that. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:23:15 All right, imagine this, you wake up and then some guy shows up at your house and he's like, here, sir, I have your grass. And you grab it, put on your balcony, cut the tape, pull it up, and all of a sudden now you have beautiful grass for your dogs to do their business on. They don't have to hold it, they don't have to hold it. First is me driving to Home Depot,
Starting point is 00:23:35 saying, hello sir, can I buy your best grass? Having them cut it, you use favor more than anyone I've ever met. Just favor some grass. No. Oh fuck, you favor some gross. No! Oh fuck, you're a fucked. No! Then you're spoiling local drivers. That's gonna cost me way, way more.
Starting point is 00:23:50 Way, way, way. Two, why? Or B. Don't they also have like those artificial turf specifically designed for this, that you could keep on your balcony and reuse? Yeah, we tried that. It smells because it doesn't soak up the urine.
Starting point is 00:24:03 The urine just sits there and you go out and like you want to vomit. With this, it's like an inch and a half of soil which soaks it up. You could totally, you could get way more grass favoring it locally. Yeah. It's so much more expensive. How? And I'm not going to get, how? I mean, no, all right, all right, all right, all right, what, what, what, what, what, we
Starting point is 00:24:22 are going to do this, we are going to do this. I'm going to favor, go to Home Depot, buy me grass, show up, bring it in a container, in cardboard, and let's see how much that costs. Okay, and I love favor, like yesterday for Valentine's Day, I used favor to live Valentine's Day. Yeah. So favor when, I'm not gonna choose.
Starting point is 00:24:42 I'm gonna be, and and buy chocolate some flowers. Favor went to HB and I was like, just show me what they got. I was like, you got a budget, budget of $100. Let's see what they have and they showed me this, this sent pictures. No, it's like, okay, okay. I was like, get it all.
Starting point is 00:24:56 And then he went and he took it to my wife's work and delivered it to her. Why is that? Okay, okay. You're telling me to use favor to get grass. and delivered it to her. Why is that, okay, okay, okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're telling me to use favor to get grass. No one's telling you to do anything, right? All right.
Starting point is 00:25:12 All right. Look, you don't have a dog in apartment. You have a house, you guys have houses with grass, right? Or what floor are you on? Ground floor? Yes. Well, I have to go downstairs. I don't like the dog to poop on the lawn.
Starting point is 00:25:32 That's why I do film. So we just walk the dog. Ultimately, this dog is going to get older, right? And once the dog's no longer a puppy, are you going to continue to buy this stuff? Because an older dog does not need to go outside that frequently. Uh, yeah, no, because we've had it since for a while since we've had the pug.
Starting point is 00:25:50 Because like, man, if it's, if it's like one in the morning or two in the morning and she's scratching at the door and it's 20 degrees outside, come on. And she doesn't like it either. Pugs can die in cold weather or hot weather. They are very not fully designed and engineered. But you're not gonna, your puck's not gonna die taking it out to go pee. No, but she doesn't like it. She does not like it. You know, I'm kind of annoyed that a little patch of grass
Starting point is 00:26:17 doesn't have a tiny fire hydrant. That's the, just in case it was a fire. Like, I don't, I feel like dogs always want to pee on something Yeah, and they love being on the grass. They love it. Yeah As soon as she saw that grass she was like I like it I'm gonna pee here and now she goes to the balcony not to the front door And we still take them out a few times a day a few time often you're taking your fucking dog out Three times a day and plus we have a dog dog part. He hires favorite to come walk it.
Starting point is 00:26:45 No, we have a dog part to in our apartment complex. So we go in, we throw the tennis ball. Our dogs have a good life. They just don't have to go outside to go pee. I think you're taking a dog out. Look, houses, houses used to have like outhouses, right? You didn't have indoor plumbing. You had to go in the outhouse, had to walk outside
Starting point is 00:27:02 and do your business. But man or women inventors. Okay. Invented. Endor plumbing, so you can do your business inside. Now, you don't think a dog would appreciate the same thing, especially a puppy. So in that case, just put the grass inside then.
Starting point is 00:27:22 No, because then it's gonna smell like shit inside. It's indoor plumbing, man. The dock still having to go outside? Yeah, but you don't have, okay, I'm not gonna design a room that just holds the grass. It's not like you have a toilet in the middle of your living room. I wanna touch an idea.
Starting point is 00:27:35 I did it by a room of your pocket. I did it with my cat when I had a cat. Oh, I thought you had a toilet in the living room. I built, or I didn't build, but I put it's litter box inside of my bathroom cabinet and trained it to open the bathroom cabinet and go in. So what else are you having in your bathroom cabinet? Nothing, just litter box.
Starting point is 00:27:52 Seems like a waste. What's that waste of? I'm not shipping. I don't know that they're from California. I'm not shipping that waste. That's a waste. That's a waste. How is that, how is that any different
Starting point is 00:28:01 than ordering anything else on Amazon that you can get locally here? Plus I'm keeping this guy in business. He was on a Shark Tank and it's like a whole new Oh never mind. It was on Shark Tank. All I'm trying to say is like he told his story He has a new family. He's trying to build something. Everyone's got to find everyone's got that story I'm not about that story. You're not supporting like a conglomerate. You're supporting like this guy who, you know, he's like Joe Armstrong, the guy, generic man.
Starting point is 00:28:31 And he has a whole new business. You're supporting it. He's expanding it. And that's good. Like you're supporting a small business. It makes sense for him. We should tell you. It's good for FedEx, good business for FedEx.
Starting point is 00:28:43 The big local business, FedEx the big local business Yeah, so part of those local businesses like Joe Armstrong Many many people in businesses you could help just as many doing a local And also I think we should tough an entire room in your apartment. I will be helping will blow the stink out the door So you think I should help Home Depot over a local, or over a small business. They go to a local small garden place, go to the great outdoors on South Congress. The great outdoors, you can go buy grass there? Yeah, you're gonna be there.
Starting point is 00:29:16 Have you ever tried to buy grass? I'm not gonna do that. See, I just defeated your argument. No, no, no, you're saying you're not gonna do it. Okay, you didn't defeat it, you just made a point that yes, I can go locally and support that business. But that's a way bigger business.
Starting point is 00:29:28 That is a way bigger business. This guy just runs this stuff. He is full on the floor. I don't care. I don't care. We're just voting because Brandon lost. You know what? You know what?
Starting point is 00:29:39 I would say people who have a balcony, with their dogs have to hold it for longer. You know, right now, my balcony door is open. And my dogs, even as I'm away, can go and do their business at the place. Wait, you're open. My balcony door open, yeah, I'm on like that third floor. Was that fucking spider man gonna come in
Starting point is 00:29:57 and steal my shoe? No, I don't want to steal it. I see it's gonna leak out the door. It'd be inefficient in that. No, no, it's cracked. And plus it's not super hot outside, not super cold. Bugs don't come in. No, we have it's crack them plus it's not super hot outside not super bugs don't come in No, we have like a another thing I got on Amazon a like mesh cover for the door
Starting point is 00:30:11 So it keeps the dog the bugs out and the dogs go right through it. How this is a system So it's big enough to let it talk to you but small enough for bugs not to come through here Let me sense it. It's just in the shape of a dog bugs can't be because I'm not the right shape Who do I slack? Who do I slack to get some- Senator Broadcast. I don't know who that is. Oh, you left that channel, I remember.
Starting point is 00:30:32 Senator Patrick. Senator Patrick. That is the funny thing about slack. It tells you whenever someone leaves. It's like, you have to time when you leave channels to an appropriate, that you can't do it after someone is talking about something. Yeah. Yeah, I think you're wanting to like an appropriate thing. You can't do it after someone is talking about something. Yeah, I can keep wanting to leave the Sydney organization one,
Starting point is 00:30:50 but Ashley posted something earlier today and there about looking for people to talk about something. So it's like, I didn't want to leave after she posted that because I didn't want her to think that I was leaving because I wasn't saying that. So now it's like, oh, shit, I gotta wait longer to leave the channel. I'm gonna leave the channel and it's not
Starting point is 00:31:03 because of what you posted. Well, I'm leaving. Okay, I'm gonna leave the channel and it's not because of what you posted Okay, I'm leaving it right now before someone else posts something How do we leave a channel? Leave right Yeah, I'm gonna read this how much does it cost yeah, okay read that When I'm not everyone this episode of the podcast is brought to you by Audible So thanks to audible for supporting this episode of the RESTEEF podcast Audible has an unmatched selection of audiobooks, original shows, news, comedy, and more.
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Starting point is 00:31:49 It's audible.com slash RT. Love audible. I always say, listen to it all the time in my car. Between books right now. So if you have a suggestion for me, send it to me. I'll download it and I'll give it a listen. You know, I hear 1984's, um, started become like way more popular.
Starting point is 00:32:04 I haven't read 1984 since high school. Maybe I will re-listen to that. Yeah, I'll get that. Yeah, it's amazing. It's all about who reads it. Oh, right, maybe in like the voice. Yeah, like for the gamers that owns one, we talk about all the time they have Roy Doe trees.
Starting point is 00:32:19 It's pretty good. The Harry Potter one's really good. Oh, really? Who reads them? I don't know, but he does good Hermione good. Good. Good. Second way. Um, the voice is a really important who eats it? We can say something. You said something. I was gonna ask how much it would cost a favor some
Starting point is 00:32:36 sizable tough. I bet we could get some turf right now. We I still don't understand how getting turf. I don't want to get back into the Oggy. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, who's this for? And it's like, oh, it's for Paula. Yeah, but if you didn't choose that of it, that you would. I did. They sent me pictures and I was like, I wanted that, that, that, that. What do you think that, and I was like, I thought of it all.
Starting point is 00:33:12 What do you think that favor guy thought of you? I think he was happy to have my business. Plus, it was like, you know, a hundred bucks, so he had a good tip percentage of that. I have, dude, I've used favor for some really weird stuff. I've actually had favor go to a home depot and buy like 10 industrial box fans. You remember when we filmed the back to school short? Like I actually use it for work way more. Last night I went to, there's a convenience store kind of close to
Starting point is 00:33:37 the stage five here. People refer to it as a flag store. I don't know if y'all ever been there. It's over like at Duval in 45th. So I stopped by the flag store yesterday. if y'all ever been there, it's over at DuVal in 45th. So, I stopped by the flag store yesterday. It's because it got flags all over. It's got flags all around it. Yeah. And I was in there, and there was a woman who was going through all of the cards. I have a selection of cards. She was trying to buy a Valentine's card.
Starting point is 00:33:58 She was careful examining all of them. I was like, today is Valentine's Day. Who waits until that moment to like then start working on it? It's kind of the same thing with you, Brandon. Like why didn't you do it? Like if you were busy, do it the night before or planning ahead of time.
Starting point is 00:34:12 You had, I don't know, we had stuff. Or I mean, I think I like this plan. I've done it before. It's a good plan. It makes sense. To be five, Valentine's Day is a little crappy. Valentine's Day is a little crap. A little toss.
Starting point is 00:34:22 Probably get cut. What's the difference with hiring a company to deliver flowers or anything else? Did you pick all that stuff online? There's our services specifically for that. I'm sending you some stuff for this conversation. It's not like going to this store and going nuts. It's not like, no. That's not what I said.
Starting point is 00:34:44 Express $100 worth of love, please. No, it's not like go to this store and go nuts. Right, it's not like no. That's not what I said. Express $100 worth of love, please. Nope, it's not what I said. It's not what I said. It's like a most love that's kind of like. It's kind of like, you know, you always see like in like madmen type stuff where it's like, you give your secretary money, it's like, pick her out something nice.
Starting point is 00:34:57 Right, no, it's like kind of like that. And that's it, yeah, I can totally see that. And then you're like, what'd you get her? And she's like, you find out whenever she shows up with it and it's like, right, I can totally see that. And then you're like, what'd you get her? And she's like, you find out whenever she shows up with it and it's like, No, it's not the same thing at all. Is that whenever I like to get flowers for tourney, all of the nicest looking ones have lilies
Starting point is 00:35:16 and stuff all through them, but they will kill cats. Oh, I realize. Yeah. Well, I don't know if it's all lilies or some orchid type, or I don't know, but apparently all Lily's or Some orchid type or I don't know but apparently cats get the pollen in them. They died really I think anyone's ever accidentally like purposefully poison their girlfriend's cats with flowers. I'm purpose Yeah, I've been like it's gonna take out those annoying
Starting point is 00:35:36 I can see some cats are assholes. I was gonna say some people are assholes You heard me. Geez. I would never do it. I'm just saying if somebody is a bad person and you just pointed it out. You said you put it on the cats. Don't try to say if someone's a fan. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:35:53 I totally cat shaming here. Well, I'm just saying like there has to be a reason somebody would do that and cats can be very aggressive. Mean they can attack you. Yeah, also, but I would never poison a cat. I wouldn't either. I'm just saying, I understand. You're just't never poison a cat. I wouldn't either. I'm just saying, I, you're just saying cats are assholes.
Starting point is 00:36:08 This would be it. And they deserve to be poisoned. No, no, no, you guys are just taking, no. All I'm saying is we're saying like people poison cats. What could be a possible motivation? I asked the next couple, shall I say people poison cats? Cats are assholes.
Starting point is 00:36:23 They're gonna be on the back. I would take it. I haven't had a shirt in like seven years. What does that mean? What is that mean? What, what, what, what? The Brandon themed shirt. Oh, oh, oh, I see.
Starting point is 00:36:32 I see. Colbot, one of my shirts, my only shirt. The one from the comic? Yeah. So why didn't you like your cat as much as you like your dogs? Cats are more independent and they're not as affectionate. You want affection. Like the dog appreciates you, right?
Starting point is 00:36:49 Like the dog's like, oh, you're the best. I feel like you're a person who wouldn't need affection or validation. I mean, that like the dog is constantly loving me, but it's like, I feed the dog and it's like, thanks. You know, it appreciates it. The cat, like you feed a cat and the cat's like, oh, fuck you, I don't eat this.
Starting point is 00:37:04 And that's why you didn't like a cat. Yeah, it's like, I like a cat because you can leave them alone. Like, if you have to go out of town for a couple days, you can get like an automatic feeder. I used to have a litter box that would clean itself, which is really handy. And the cat's fine. Cat doesn't give a fuck about you.
Starting point is 00:37:19 The dog is like, the dog will miss you. The dog's happy to see you. Like, hey, what's up? Like, I'll come home. When I park my car, I've got a really low window so that you can see where I park my car from. And I park my car and every time I come out, I look to that window and both the dogs are there
Starting point is 00:37:34 just like looking at me, like staring at me. Yeah. Yeah. It's an appreciation. University of Texas, for some reason, spent a lot of money on a research study about dog personalities And they concluded that you know if you get a dog as a puppy they actually adapt to your personality, too So you have you know things around you that kind of
Starting point is 00:37:56 Augment you and they're not you know kids that become assholes. I believe that because I think you know lots of times when people have Dogs that are like really yappy. I think it's a reflection of their personality. Like they either didn't, didn't raise the dog a certain way or they didn't never discipline it whenever it does that. Cause like I've got little dogs. People always think like little dogs are yappy assholes, but my dogs never bark. Like unless like if someone knocks at the door, they know
Starting point is 00:38:19 someone's at the door, then they'll like go crazy. But even if they hear another dog barking or they see someone, nope, no, no, no, none of them. The pug only barks at other dogs when she's on the leash and she know nothing could happen to her. But she tries to start fights. Yeah, she's like, it's kind of like, you know, when you have a bros and there's a guy like, come on,
Starting point is 00:38:38 come at me and you know what says bros are gonna hold them back. So she's on the balcony and she sees another dog where she's on the leash. She barks at it, but if she's not, and she's standing next to a dog. She's like super apprehensive. I mean, and too much so she got bitten a couple months ago. I think I talked about it on the podcast. But so we do have pictures that I sent Patrick. So I asked favor go there, send me pictures of what they have. And they sent me pictures.
Starting point is 00:39:05 So if we can see those pictures, and he showed, I was like, look for, look for something that has up to a dozen roses, maybe two dozen and other flowers. So he's like, how about this? And I was like, yes. And then he also sent me, I was like, well, what about balloons? You have some balloons. So he showed me the balloons. And I was like, yeah, that looks awesome.
Starting point is 00:39:24 I was like, as many awesome I was like as many balloons as you can get a ridiculous amount of balloons that's a red that can we come back to that is that possible that is a ridiculous amount of balloons to you that's six balloons that's like all the balloons are gone and this is all that's left yeah well I mean when people buy balloons They fight you with a lot of balloons six that's that's a decent amount. That's what I told him You said he came with that and it's not just them. It's not just the number
Starting point is 00:39:55 If there's a little bear there is a bear that is trapped in a balloon with a little heart that says I'll be your valentine Maybe kind of implying for the love of God. Let me out. That's kind of weird, dude. It's like someone like trapped pet ober. Let me say something here that I'm thinking about. Now that I see the photos that this favor person sent you, I would be pissed if that was me.
Starting point is 00:40:24 If I was that favor delivery person i'd be like motherfucker normally i just get a list of like five things to buy not gonna go and like send photos or wait for approval like i'm gonna be doing this forever i don't know pop that service they like you can interact and have them do random stuff yeah and usually they send up they'll send you pictures for random tasks i mean they're happy to have business especially i could have been like hey go to this restaurant and buy me something that cost $25 but no I was like I wanted a good amount of things for Valentine's so it was a hundred bucks So percentage of that he got a good tip. It was a good use of his time
Starting point is 00:40:53 It was a good favor after that. He's probably like man I this is a good start to the day good things are gonna happen to me. Could you go? Could you go in favor and be like go into the bank? I would take a picture of the security guard's belt and send it to me. Is that a favor? No, no, they were not do that. They probably report it.
Starting point is 00:41:11 They have a way to report it and see something weird. Oh man, I got fucking pissed off at favor. I can go weeks ago. Get two favors to me each other and take a picture of each other. Oh, the post go here. The other favor guy, take a picture of each other. Pose go here. The other favorite guy, take a picture of him and send it to him. Well, there's that website. Was it Fiverr or you can like pay people to do weird things like that?
Starting point is 00:41:33 I think TaskRabbit is like that. Like you don't actually have to have them go buy something. Favorite they have to purchase something? Okay. I'm looking up Fiverr. Yeah, so. Yeah, so Yeah, you just like find something and you can you can have people do whatever
Starting point is 00:41:54 We it so I guess this a video to be made somewhere the yeah People ask them to come in and do their laundry That's how that's the website pdpai use that got him in trouble never mind. It's bad news What's the story? Oh, yeah favor was pissing me off a couple weeks ago because favor has some of their delivery people are on bikes and if you ever had a favor delivered on a bike. No, I have before but I was trying to order some dinner a couple weeks ago and I went through and fucking put all the shit in, ordered it, got accepted, then was immediately canceled. I was like, the fuck, is the restaurant closed?
Starting point is 00:42:29 So I called the restaurant, they're like, no, we're open. I was like, all right, let me do it again. So I can't like reorder it because they canceled my order. So I have to go through, put everything back in again, hit submit, then the same dude accepts it again. I was like, oh, fuck it. And he canceled it again.
Starting point is 00:42:43 Like, what the fuck? What's going on? So it's like, you know, you can like text favor, like, oh, fuck her. And he cancels again. Like, what the fuck? What's going on? So you can text favor, the company, not the runner. I was like, it takes the company like, hey, what's going on? Why is this being canceled? And they didn't reply for like five minutes? I was like, oh, fuck her, I'm just going to use postmates.
Starting point is 00:42:54 So he's postmates. And then he favorite eventually got back to me. They're like, oh, that was the person who was cancelling your order. He was on a bike and you were too far away. I was like, why the fuck is accepting it? Yeah, why would you accept him? Maybe they're desperate for drivers.
Starting point is 00:43:08 I don't know. What the hell could he possibly do? What are those before they accept it? Why is he doing it on a bike? What if he got one in Round Rock? I mean, he should be able to see, oh, how far, I don't know, that's annoying. That's really annoying.
Starting point is 00:43:20 Cause I hate doing that. Like going through the little online menu. Yeah, it's like it's annoying and you have to add like notes. Like, oh, oh, this one, I want to beef on this. I wanted, you know, this side. It's like, you know, fuck. As someone who grew up in a town when none of these services exist to this day,
Starting point is 00:43:35 we must sound like the most silly. Cause I can't even believe we're in the results. That's the thing. Curbie Lane actually started giving little notes whenever they have a courier come in that says, look, if you don't have something in your food, it's not our fault, it's probably something was lost in delivery because we get a lot of complaints.
Starting point is 00:43:54 And it's like when the favor or whoever gets there and reads that, it's kind of like, it's kind of awkward. It's kind of like, They got a check out there when they receive it. Well, they go, favorite dudes just eat in pieces of the food and then deliver it. Well, sometimes you're like, what's my bread? What happened in red? Aaron Aaron We're working ordered lunch and and he ordered a
Starting point is 00:44:13 Beef sandwich from Jason's Deli Yeah, I don't know and the default and it shows up it shows up It shows up. I'm just going to use a beef sandwich. I'm sorry, go ahead. Roast beef sandwich. Okay, okay, okay, gotcha. I was just picturing like a steak between bread or I don't know. That's a steak sandwich.
Starting point is 00:44:32 Yeah, that's a steak sandwich on the side of a beef sandwich. Sorry, roast beef. Okay. Being more specific. And it shows up and it's just a bucket of meat. What? And he was like, what? And so it's just like a tub, like a little soup tub and just a ball of meat. What? And he was like, what? And so it's just like a tub, like a little soup tub,
Starting point is 00:44:47 and just a ball of meat. And then he's like, why, what's going on? And their default setting for a roast beef sandwich was without bread. Like why, like that's the default. If you try to order a roast beef sandwich from Jason's Deli, it's just, there's no bread. I think they know that. I took a picture of it.
Starting point is 00:45:06 I don't think they know what a sandwich is. What's the between? It's probably, like, you probably have to pick the kind of bread you want and by default, it's said to nothing. And then you have to go through and select it. I bet that's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's how Chipotle is. The way the guy didn't think, oh, this guy's gonna be pissed.
Starting point is 00:45:20 He just delivered the main cookie. It was a delivery, it was Jason's Deli, they delivered. So they're delivery guy Maybe they saw the delivery person. They're like this person kid. Do you have a picture? Yeah, all right. Yeah, it's on Twitter something. I'll send it. I'll see like that makes me think do you remember that old? Images from the guy who ordered a pizza online and he ordered none pizza left beef Does that sound familiar at all? So he went through and I think he ordered it from Domino's and we like do all of the different selections and hit none.
Starting point is 00:45:50 And then for beef, like he wanted beef on the pizza, he hit beef, but only on the left side. So Domino's made the pizza as a none pizza left beef and he basically just got bread with like some meatballs rolling around. It's the same kind of thing where it's like. Is that what he wanted? Yeah, that's what he wanted.
Starting point is 00:46:11 You just wanted to see what would happen if you had no pizza left beef. Like that even saucer anything. It just crust with like some meatballs rolling around. So are we allowed to repeat something we mentioned like six years ago? There it is, an unpeats a left beef. Uh sure, why not? You're peeing something we mentioned like six years ago. There it is, and then pizza left beef. Sure, why not? People can revolt.
Starting point is 00:46:27 So, we talked a lot about Rosie, the guy who in the wheelchair outside, a homeless guy outside of a wheelchair at the old office. And I remember he got some cash and he went into, I think, a Jimmy John's and he ordered a sandwich without bread, just ham and tuna on top like he was a dolphin That's not interesting Cut that out How is that nanny Like I feel bad for him
Starting point is 00:47:00 He's like a whole what you the one that said he owed you a leg. Yeah, he does owe me a leg, but that's a sad story That's how is that any said that one that said he owed you a leg? Yeah, he does owe me a leg, but that's a sad story. That's how is that it? And he said that is not nearly as sad as a guy. Europe said about not getting his other leg amputated. Is he lied? He said he was going to. Yeah, granted that is his bad, but still looking headed on the whole. If I said I was having my leg amputated tomorrow,
Starting point is 00:47:23 and then you saw me next week and I still had it you'd be like what the fuck I will it, but I also don't think it's a bad deal Yeah, can you help me out? I need help removing my leg and you help the person out and then they're like I never mind. I decided to keep it look no I agree with that all I'm saying is it's not any worse for the turkey I love how frustrated you get. There's something special about that brand and level of frustration.
Starting point is 00:47:49 Brian, are you an angry person, in general? No, I'm really not except when I'm in the car and I'm trying to dictate to Siri, and I'm like talking and she interrupts me because she detects like a quarter of a second pause, and then like I start screaming. That's the only anger. I don't have the anger driving dealing with other drivers.
Starting point is 00:48:08 It's getting out of my mouth. I hear the texts, Brandon, when you send them the Siri are insane. Yeah, they sound like they're like stream of consciousness and I'll get this like huge text from, and I'll be like, what's wrong with Brandon? I try to, at the end say, dictate it by Siri. I wish brain? I try to at the end say dictated by Siri. I wish you could do that automatically
Starting point is 00:48:28 or poorly dictated by Siri. It should be like an icon like next to it. Like when you receive a message like that, you should have like a little microphone or something to indicate it. I make sure you look insane. I very publicly hate Cortana, if I Xbox. It's the worst. And I know you can turn it off.
Starting point is 00:48:42 I have it turned off. But sometimes I see if it's any better. I turn it back on. The other day I turn it back on. I was like, maybe it's the worst. And I know you can turn it off. I have it turned off. But sometimes I see if it's any better. I turn it back on. The other day I turned it back on. I was like, maybe it's good now. Maybe they patched it a few times. I said, hey, Cortana, sign in as Gavin. And it was like, bloop.
Starting point is 00:48:55 And it does the thing where it's just doing nothing. It's just pulsing. And I'm like, okay, have I, listen to what I said yet. And I was just waiting. And then it goes, sign in as Gavin Gavin and then it went Like it was loading it to the internet it then changed the text to say sign in as Kevin
Starting point is 00:49:14 Even though it before it said Gavin it flipped to Kevin and then said who do you want to sign in this? It was like great Like that's public though like they want people to be using this. It's so shit. I think the technology's ever going to get that much better. Like, and, and, and honestly that, that probably took like 25 seconds total. And before, with Xbox, you say Xbox on his gamin, does nothing with the internet.
Starting point is 00:49:39 It's just low. It's your Xbox. And it's just, do you have like one second? Do you have an Amazon Echo in your house? Does it ever randomly say stuff if you're watching TV? Yeah, it was like shut. I was watching heat last night in a start chain. But also then you can go into the app and you can look at what it thought you said.
Starting point is 00:49:57 Oh really? It was say, hey Alexa, and then I budgeted this shit. But it was like, hey Alexa, then I budgeted crap the opportunities. So. Oh, let's be annoying if there's someone named that in the movie. Yeah, I've not had that yet.
Starting point is 00:50:10 It has Alexa when you don't say it. I changed the name to Echo. Alexa's stupid. I haven't annoying thing. I struggle with Siri in my car. Like I can use it fine. Like you said, it's a piece of shit or whatever, but in my car, it's especially frustrating because I'll say like the command to trigger it.
Starting point is 00:50:31 And I don't know how other cars work, but my car treats when I do that like a phone call. So then it like there's a weird pause for a couple of seconds while it like brings up the phone. So then it's like I can say the command to bring it up, then I have to wait, but if I wait too long, then it ends and then it ends the call and then I have to say it again so it's like there's like a really narrow window of when I can say it and then I always mess it up so like fuck I'm not using it. Yeah if you really want to use it that much you need the Apple car play software.
Starting point is 00:50:58 I've never used it sucks. Yeah I bought a really shitty third party device that kind of uses it just at a desperation Also my old stereo broke and they refused to pay for it Fuck I don't want to tell the story again because last time I told it everybody fucking destroyed me about it Who's shared it'll be better this time? I it was the middle of summer It was the middle of summer and I accidentally left a can of coke in my car. Oh Just you know sometimes you just forget it and when I came back I'm afraid enough and I came back and The coke had exploded everywhere. So because the buttons were sticky
Starting point is 00:51:39 They wouldn't fix the The manufacturing okay, they wouldn't fix the drive that's the manufacturer? They wouldn't fix the drive that houses the maps, because the maps in your navigation unit are done by the CD, even though it was protected behind a little display. And it's like one of those moments where you're just like, you fuckers. And I wish, oh, I should have tweeted at them.
Starting point is 00:52:06 That's the only way to like make companies responsible for shit is we've got them. But we're shaming them. Yeah, but other people don't want to read that shit. Yeah, you're not gonna have that. Well, you reply at it. No one's gonna see it. Like, they don't, since you replied directly
Starting point is 00:52:18 to that company. Now, I feel like whenever you deal with that, you're just dealing with like some customer service person who can't really help you most of the time. Yeah, but the people who monitor Twitter, that they can, they're like, they'll acknowledge that you said something. There's also no satisfaction in being like,
Starting point is 00:52:33 hey, I'm having this problem, and then they rush to fix it because you're saying it publicly. It's like, everyone else still has to deal with problems in normal way. Like I will always just like go through normal customer service trying to get from fix. I'll do that first, and I went to the dealer, then one of the manufacturer and
Starting point is 00:52:47 like they just do their best to deflect you somewhere else. So it's like a measure last resort. We a bunch of us were going to Vegas a few years ago and you know something, you know, something happened and we had to cancel our flight. And we tried to get the airline to like refund us the money. And we're like, hey, you know, this thing happened, it's been unexpected, it was a bit, you know, unfortunate. And we thought it was very reasonable. And they refused to refund us. Not even like give us a voucher towards anything else.
Starting point is 00:53:18 Or you can fund up a ticket some more, right. But they wouldn't even give you like the equivalent credit. No, I don't think so. It's a very shitty airline. Yeah, I think the worst airline in the world, it takes 45 minutes to get to their customer service. And so all of us started tweeting at it. And they just props to them actually, then budge. What was the L.I.?
Starting point is 00:53:39 You can say it, fuck them. It was a legit, they're the worst airline. There was an anonymous poll from their pilots that said their pilots won't let their families fly on it because they don't spend enough money on fixing the damn plane. They have the worst customer service, but they're cheap. I mean, you remember all of this. Yeah, I never find that. I mean, a lot of airlines wouldn't be fun if it's too close to the flight date.
Starting point is 00:54:00 And I mean, this was, you know, unfortunately, this was after, you know, money passed. That was the reason you couldn't get. Yeah, I was breathing it, which we felt like might be a little bit different, because I think it was like almost three grand, because it was 12 of us going. So we thought they might make, you know, an exception under those circumstances. There was a story I read about a year ago. I'm looking for it, and I think I just found it where there was an airline mechanic
Starting point is 00:54:27 who worked at, I'm trying to see where he used to work. I think he worked at American Airlines for 20 years. I don't see where he used to work, but he worked as a mechanic for 20 years. He took a job working at a legend and then quit after two weeks because he said that was too dangerous. Yeah, wow.
Starting point is 00:54:43 I mean, guess you are another, you watch air disasters as well. A lot of the times causes for problems if it's in air or it's manufacturing, they're just bad maintenance. Yeah. You know, and when you hire or like have makeshift maintenance. A lot of, I don't worry about that. I don't remember the exact statistic off the top of my head, so I'm going to do my best here. But there was a big move in the airline industry for airlines to no longer do maintenance
Starting point is 00:55:14 in the United States. What? Yeah, they'll outsource the maintenance to South America. That sounds like a horrible idea. They fly all their planes there. Yeah, because it's cheaper to do it down there. You still need maintenance. You still need like last minute runway maintenance. Yeah, they'll still have some maintenance here, but like the regular like every, you know, there's like
Starting point is 00:55:31 milestones. Every so many hours flown, you know, certain parts you to be inspected, certain parts you to be replaced. And they just are outsourcing a lot of that out of the United States because it's cheaper. Every airline? Oh, yeah, almost all of them. Man, then maybe I don't have a problem with that I feel like American American Airlines can't really do that with that name. Oh, no, they absolutely they're like the leading I guess it's still South America. Yeah, I'd rather them do that than have to make budget cuts on maintenance Because they can't that is a budget cut in maintenance right, but I mean I'm saying They keep the same level of maintenance and still get that discount as opposed to saying, all right, we have to make budget cuts of
Starting point is 00:56:10 maintenance here in the US. We need less people to work on it. My priority here is the plane. I found it here is a vanity fair article from two years ago. I'll just read the top headline. The disturbing truth about how airplanes are maintained today. In the last decade, most of the big US airlines have shifted major maintenance work to places like El Salvador, Mexico and China, where few mechanics are FAA certified and inspections have no teeth. Oh, what's, what's, what's, what are they,
Starting point is 00:56:39 how do they qualifying that? Cause I mean, the implication here is foreigners don't know how to fix planes. They don't have FAA certification. The to fix planes they don't have a certification the f-a they might have some other certification it doesn't mean they don't know what they're doing i i i i trust
Starting point is 00:56:53 the f-a certification i feel like the united states has some of the safest air travel in the world i agree i think there are times they will not act when they should because they're dealing with billion dollar corporations, especially with a legit happen like a year and a half ago where they had like a bunch of incidents in Florida all after one another.
Starting point is 00:57:15 And you've seen it too with other airlines, they found problems in their planes and they haven't fixed it. Well, I have a question. This is a completely different thing. I was thinking about this the other day. When you die, is it because of play and scratch? No, no, no, no, no. Can you put, okay, could you put in your will
Starting point is 00:57:36 a really, really bizarre funeral type thing and then specify that it has to be followed to the tea or your will or your in or your any inheritance you have does not go to your children or whatever. I'll probably do that. Like, and then it puts the onus on them because they have to execute it in order to get. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:57:54 Or are you saying who regulates it? No, what could you do that? And then I'm talking about like weird bizarre. Like, okay. You know, lawyer has to go down a checklist until like 30 clothes. Well, who's that? Well, like check his check.
Starting point is 00:58:05 And that's what I was wanting to say. What if I was like, because I was thinking like, how I wanted to be, I didn't want to be buried or anything, I want to get blown up or something. You know, like, I want to, like, and I was like, but then I was like, who's going to control that? Like if I request like, to be blown up, it might be,
Starting point is 00:58:21 but I would also pay for it. Like if I was like, in my, I had already arranged it, but I was like, in order to get my inheritance, and my family would want you to blow it up there. Yeah, no. But I'm not gonna get blown up. Well, who are you leading the money to? Well, I wanted to be blown up for a movie,
Starting point is 00:58:35 like just propped up on a spike and exploded. That's what I was doing. That's exactly what I was thinking. Like a big stick. But then my family would see it and it'd be gross. Yeah, but it'd be, it'd be funny. Well, yeah, yeah. Who are you leading your money to?
Starting point is 00:58:46 I don't know. I don't have any kids yet, but maybe, like, I don't know. Oh, I've just never been a good boy. No, no, no, but that's the key though, right? Yeah. Who are you leaving it to? And then if they don't follow, you will, who will the money go to?
Starting point is 00:58:57 It would go to someone else, or maybe the government. No, no, no, no, I don't know where somebody won the money to go. The government. Well, because that's the point though. It's who you give it to. If it was going to go to a charity, they'd be more likely to not blow me up because we're like, well, I don't want to blow them up because it's going to a good cause. What I'm saying though, there needs to be a threat. Like if you don't do this, I'm going to give my money to someone else. Exactly. That's all my Oh my man, he's gonna go to my dog. You either blow me up or blow my money up. Oh yeah, that's what we do it. We'll just say it'll go to like white supremacists or something.
Starting point is 00:59:31 Oh, jeez. And then I really wouldn't want to go to them. So now, now you've given me a good idea for what I want to happen, right? Okay, well my money, put it in ones, so it's like big and cash, right? So you get like a, you know the blocks in fifth element, that sort of size, but then put them in my body, like in fifth element, so you have like a like you know the blocks in fifth element that sort of size but then put them in my body like in fifth element so you have to cut open my stomach
Starting point is 00:59:49 and pull out. Like each person has to pull out their own block. Their own inheritance. Yeah, there has to be extracted from me. They get to play surgeon simulator. Yeah. Let me read this. What might have been this episode receives podcast is brought to you by Casper. Casper. Casper is an online retailer of premium mattresses for a fraction of the cost. Casper is revolutionizing the mattress industry by cutting the cost of dealing with resellers
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Starting point is 01:00:37 period, so you don't have to lie down in a showroom. You can save an additional $50 towards a mattress purchase by going to Casper.com slash RT and entering promo code RT. It's Casper.com slash RT, promo code RT, terms and conditions apply, free shipping and returns to the US and Canada. Thanks Casper for making and selling awesome mattresses and sponsoring this podcast. I'm going to go back to something you said a second ago. You said the money would go to white supremacists. And I really think I saw, there's this television series
Starting point is 01:01:12 on the Vice Land network that was really distracting for some reason that scared me. There's this television show on Vice Land called Hate by Neighbor, where this comedian goes and talks to like different hate groups. I like tries to understand what their point is. And the first episode, I think you watch it on YouTube, actually, the first episode he goes and talks
Starting point is 01:01:32 to Nazis in Pennsylvania. And it's really in depth, and then he goes and like a KKK bar. Like, anyway, there's a whole, he's just dealing with white supremacists the whole time. And they're actually talking legit Millie about their beliefs. Yeah, do you have a sympathizer them in any way? He's he's he's he's listening like he's trying to be a very passive observer and you know offering some counterpoints
Starting point is 01:01:55 But really he's letting them talk and at one point one of them goes on this rant about how people from Africa are monkeys and people from Africa are monkeys and people from Asia are cats. And he makes the weirdest analogy and like, what the fuck is wrong with you, man? Well, I, the, what white people did, animal was. He didn't get into that. I was curious.
Starting point is 01:02:18 I was hoping he would get into that. I think, I think in his mind, white people are the only people. Well, the comment about Africa that's, you know, an unfortunate people have been saying that for a long time. It's very ugly. I've never heard though the Asian thing. I think what I'm trying to read. That's like, that's, to me, that's just more confusing. I think the analogy he made was that Asian people like to jump around like cats and cats eyes are slanted like Asian people and Asian
Starting point is 01:02:46 people eat fish and cats like fish. Yeah, but would they be offended about that? Like if you went to an Asian person and you were like, meow and you ran away, would they be offended or would they? They probably wouldn't be offended because they wouldn't know what's going on. Yeah, nobody has ever said that. Yeah, it was so bizarre. It's really interesting.
Starting point is 01:03:02 If you got a chance, you should absolutely watch it. Like I said, I think the first episodes on their YouTube channel, and you can watch. It might have been one of those things he was trying to make something up on the spot. I don't know, man. I mean, I don't know. He's like, if you're in a group about it,
Starting point is 01:03:14 then you probably thought about it at some. You know, I don't know. I, who, Pennsylvania has Nazis? Yeah, and the guy has like a huge, swastika flag flying over his house and you should watch it. It's really, really interesting. You know what people are saying?
Starting point is 01:03:32 Yeah, I mean, yeah. You know what's crazy is you can probably go to a flag shop. I know there's at least one in Austin and they have flags of the world or whatever, but in the back, they'll usually have a Confederate flag and a Nazi flag that you have to ask for. And you know this because we've had to buy them. Yeah, I know because we've had to buy them before.
Starting point is 01:03:51 And it's like, I get it. The economy was struggling back then. I will also say, I should clarify, technically they're not Nazis. They're members of the National Socialist Movement or whatever, but that's the party of not their just Nazis. Right. You guys watched John Oliver. Yeah, he's amazing Like I think he's the best the best really good love that I was Upset that he was gone for so long. I'm happy it's back
Starting point is 01:04:12 He came back with a big one break over the presidency change. Yeah, the last episode. I think was right after the election And then they've been gone ever since yeah, it was the week after election. And he did a great video like a fuck you to 2016. Yeah. Anyway, he kind of owned this moment and showed this clip from his show. It must have been when it first started. And it was him hearing that Donald Trump wanted to run for president.
Starting point is 01:04:39 The president. I think at the time, everybody thought he was just kind of doing that to kind of get more money for the apprentice. And he said, fucking do it. You run for president. I think he did on the daily show. Was it a daily show? Okay, that makes sense because it was probably... I forget it was a long time ago. Someone found a clip from one of our podcasts in 2012 where apparently I just went off on a rant about Donald Trump and how he's such a lying piece of shit about everything. Right, really? Like four or five years ago. It's funny. I don't remember saying any of that stuff but I obviously clearly had strong opinions about Trump piece of shit about everything. Right, really? Like four or five years ago, it's funny.
Starting point is 01:05:05 I don't remember saying any of that stuff, but I obviously clearly had strong opinions about Trump like that. That's what Oliver's episode back was all about. It was just about the idea of truth, like really trying to simplify it and say, there are certain things that are objectively true that for whatever reason people aren't accepting.
Starting point is 01:05:21 It's great. Yeah, I was saying how he will just make up stats and quote them to people, and then that will get quoted. And then that becomes the truth. And it's just like, it's lying. That was a huge part of that John Oliver episode of said, if you make a lie and then people report the lie and then you see the reports,
Starting point is 01:05:36 like it becomes valid, you know. Yeah, to the point where I interview you, you see saying, look, people agree with me. It's like, yeah, but you made it up. Yeah, yeah. Like I think the clip they showed is when he was talking about the unemployment rate. And they're like, people say it's 4%,
Starting point is 01:05:46 but I've heard it's 6%, 8%, maybe up to 47%. And Oliver did this cool thing where he will identify the date and time of a certain tweet that Trump makes of the fact. And then he will find a report from who knows where, another person on Twitter or a website, a fake news website, and it's like he just immediately reads something and if he agrees with it,
Starting point is 01:06:14 he puts it out there and he lets it. Yeah, it's an interesting time where we have to like, really vet our news and vet like, is this real, is this credible? 2017 is the year of politics, technology that doesn't work and fake news. People that- It sucks, and we thought 2016 was a bad a burn area,
Starting point is 01:06:30 we should've talked about that. I'm the last podcast, but yeah, 2017. What do you remember about 2015? I feel like I don't remember. I feel like it was pretty like, there's just a box standard fill of year. Yeah, I mean it was a good year. What was it?
Starting point is 01:06:44 I, I don't know. More celebrities were alive. That was good. I remember 2015. I can't even happen. Hey, haven't we skipped it? I remember being in 2015. I can't tell you anything happened.
Starting point is 01:06:57 Do you think our celebrities, you know how like, oh, 2016 was back as a lot of celebrities died. But do you think more celebrities were like created? Like, is our ratio celebrities to deaths going up? I would think so, right? I don't know if we were talking about that, but I think, you know, the number of celebrities, for the most part, people who die are a little bit older,
Starting point is 01:07:19 you know, there are some accidents or whatever, but the number of people who found celebrity status, you know, many, many years ago, decades ago, is like you say a lot smaller, whereas now with the internet, the people who would say as a celebrity, or who would be reported on is so much wider, so in 40 years, we're gonna have years where it's like, you know, the Oscar tribute is gonna be like 20 minutes long.
Starting point is 01:07:41 I think people still 2016 is back, because a lot of people you could consider legends died like not just Do you case famous person? It was like damn that person was famous, but how many other legends do you think I guess? Well, I said yeah, I don't know. I had a My physical contact with your leg just yeah, I don't know if this is sensitive. I'll be devastated when the queen dies She's been around a long time. She has her own show Netflix. And she's just so chill too like she's like Yeah, I'm the longest raining that happens to people who live a long time. Let's been good. She has her own show Netflix. And she's just so chill too. Like she's like, yeah, I'm the longest rating that happens to people who live a long time. Let's not make this
Starting point is 01:08:09 about me. I think when you're, you know, when you get old, like you're just gonna fuck anymore. Yeah. Whatever. Yeah. Whatever. Do you think Charles is like upset or kind of was shoot a diet a while ago? He said the record for longest, you know, long person who's had to wait the longest to become king That's what happens when you have the longest Yeah, she's 90 she'd be 91 in April. She's been queen for so long. Yeah, there are movies from like the 70s that parody the queen And she's already old in those movies Like crazy the parody of Queen and she's already old in those movies. It's crazy. Like, what's the reason you think about it? Like, what's the reason you think about it?
Starting point is 01:08:47 What's the reason you think about it? Yeah, like, making people really like tackles the Queen. I'm like, man, that's like Leslie Nielsen who's dead. And the Queen who's old. So, I don't know if I've ever actually seen a nighting. Does she, when she nights someone, does she hold a sword and put it on both their shoulders? Like, does she have to lift it up?
Starting point is 01:09:04 Yeah. Oh, and she doesn she have to lift it up? Yeah, I mean, she doesn't have to deny everyone. I don't think she's doing it these days. I don't know. I mean, I'm just not in people. We can probably get her a prop sword that's like hollow. Like, it doesn't have to be a real sword. Well, it's like a real sword and she like accidentally drops it.
Starting point is 01:09:17 Is that like the biggest honor in England, like, to get knighted? That's one of the biggest honors in the world. Well, that's what I'm saying. Is there anything like above nighting? Queening? I mean, in other areas, but I'd say, I mean, you can become like a Lord, but I mean, being knighted is such a high on it.
Starting point is 01:09:35 I would love to be knighted, man. I think even in a very way, the highest. That'd be so cool. I mean, they mostly don't, do they knight none? No, I think you have to be. You have to be an honorary knight. I mean, but they mostly don't they don't do they night non I think you have to be to be an honorary night. I take that man. Yeah. No, they'll night Americans, but you never you won't be sir. You can't call yourself sir.
Starting point is 01:09:54 Christa may they will night. I guess military honors are different levels. We're not too like this like, you know, you can be like a OBE or whatever OBE well like person of the British order oh British Empire sounds like a like a guy in college I'm looking up can can non-British citizens be united sort of yeah honorary knighthood like you said meaning they aren't allowed to add certain their names they do however get to append the suffix KBE if they desire. Do all the Trumps, I'm excited to the British Empire.
Starting point is 01:10:27 Okay. Do all the presidents get knighted? No. Cause I think George W. Bush did. He was knighted. What? I think so. What?
Starting point is 01:10:37 I don't remember that. Let's see who Americans that have been knighted. I see Bill Gates, Steven Spielberg, Michael Bloomberg. They all got knighted. Lucky dogs. Some, Steven Spielberg, Michael Bloomberg. They all got knighted? Lucky dogs. Some people turn it down and they think that being really, I mean, I guess it's up to them. They are them.
Starting point is 01:10:51 They can choose whether they accept the knighthood, but it's usually pretty frowned upon if you don't accept you. Well, why wouldn't you? Some people are just uninterested. It's like, I don't care. Did they, it's like some people turn down the Nobel Prize. We'll just don't accept it.
Starting point is 01:11:06 But I feel like that's a political statement, is it? I don't know. I don't know what I'm talking about. I have none of us do. Did you? Let's see. What are the benefits of being a Knight? Ooh.
Starting point is 01:11:19 Let's see. You, Knights and Dames Grand Cross get to our special gear to formal events like coronations. It includes a pink with gray edges, satin mantle, and a collar of six gold medallions. All members of the order are allowed to wear the group's badge. The badge is basically a cross hanging from a pink ribbon with gray edges, all the various ranks where they're badges in unique ways. It's like leveling up in a video game. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:45 Other benefits include getting a spot in the British order of precedents. Wow, wow, so that's pretty big. What does that do? It's the system that develops a hierarchy of ceremonial importance for things like state dinners. And nights win their wives the right to be called lady. And nights and names, grand crossed Cross can modify their coats of arms Reflect the honor. It'd be cool if you actually go out of Mel suit with it.
Starting point is 01:12:10 So it was George H.W. Bush that got knighted and Ronald Reagan. It seems like they're the only politicians must have sucked for Clinton for he might have been looking for it. Yeah, what happened? It's like Reagan and Bush back to back him and that's it. You're gonna say like, we don't want to create a precedent. A president precedence? So I would accept the night head totally. I think I should. I would too, dude.
Starting point is 01:12:38 Yeah. Man, I mean, if I like play my cards right throughout life and I do a lot of good, maybe I'll get like a... how I would think it's like Like get knighted what do you have to do? What like what would you have to do? What would Gavin free have to do to become a knight? I probably have to get stuck in the charity It do a lot do a lot for a lot of people will what you I mean have to be less selfish probably so there's in hearts You could make you like do it cause
Starting point is 01:13:04 So there's in hearts, you could make it like, do it cause. You know, like, or like, be a champion of cause, not even just like donate to charity, but like be like a voice, make a movie or something that like, did something for, we'll work on it. You might have to get in the arts and entertainment and really kind of do like,
Starting point is 01:13:21 I mean, Kevin Spacey got night out, like Kevin Spacey, but, know, K-packs. K-packs. I think we should try and get Brandon Knighted. That'll be a lot harder. Yeah, that would be incredibly difficult. You think you have a better chance of being knighted than I do. Maybe if you imported.
Starting point is 01:13:38 Are you suggesting you don't? If you imported British... I'm just saying I think it's zero and zero. You could help the British economy. Yeah. And your dog's kitchen. And that's a local British farmer who's farmers grass for dogs to piss off for dog toilets.
Starting point is 01:13:52 Oh God, they poop so much while we were gone. How often do your dogs have accidents and go into house? The pug, not at all. The puppy's getting a lot better. Really, the only time he'll pee is if he's really excited. He'll just be like, or the bedroom, the fucking carpet. That's the thing we're trying to get him out of.
Starting point is 01:14:10 But so while we're ill gone, no you said not to tell the two story, I'm not gonna tell a poop story. What? No, I didn't say that. So while we were gone, obviously, we had a friend who took them out like four times a day, but they'll still go to the balcony and pee and poop
Starting point is 01:14:24 because they have a, you know, but like the grass got kind of full, so then they just started pooping on the concrete. And then I went outside and I was like, well, I got to clean up all this poop and I get there. And then I'm overcome with this smell. And I had to run back in the house, I put my hands over my mouth and I literally throw up in my mouth.
Starting point is 01:14:42 And like Paul is there and she's like, oh, that's bad. And like, I run to the bathroom door, but it's closed. And I'm just like, and I literally almost bursted the door down with my foot to get to the toilet. So she opened it and then the top of the toilet was closed and I was like,
Starting point is 01:15:01 oh, which I put in the sink. And also, how is this the poop story and not the vomit story? Because I vomited because there was a ton of poop. Because the dogs. I would call this the vomit story. Should have vomited on the grass. There is something wrong,
Starting point is 01:15:15 like they're not digesting their food well. So they're pooping way more and it's super like. Did you change their food or something? Did you change their food or something? He's trying. I'm pretty sure I can't. Um, well, the puppy food that Penny, like the, so Penny has a certain type of food and we always get it at Turkey.
Starting point is 01:15:35 The same brand, their puppy version only is in chicken. So I changed Penny to chicken just so if they mix, but they don't, neither of them. It's just, it's a message. So much dual change. Or did you just do it overnight? With her, it was gradual, but I mean, this was like three months ago. Oh, yeah, she'd be well.
Starting point is 01:15:51 And so they poop way too much, like way more, and it's just gross, and it's just, I can't, I just have like all of this. I had to get a hose that connects to my kitchen sink and my balcony, and I could spray it. Did I tell the cat poop bin story? Cat poop bin, I'm think so. So I was, it was when we first got to me
Starting point is 01:16:07 and he had a little box inside. And I used to hate changing the little box and then bringing the bag of shit all through the house to put in the main bin. So I just bought this big bin that I put right outside the door that the little box was there. So I would like empty all into a bag and then just dump it in the bin.
Starting point is 01:16:22 And I was like, and then I'll empty that bin once, but way less room. And then I forgot to put the it in the bin. I was like, and then I'll empty that bin once, but way less room. And then I forgot to put the lid on the bin one day and it rained. And it was like, I don't know, maybe like eight litre boxes worth in the bin. And I was like, it's probably time to change it to throw that out.
Starting point is 01:16:37 And I opened, and I just went out there expecting the open of the lid was off. And it was full to the brim like white cloudy water basically I just like filled up and all the cat shit in the litter had just formed the ice I was like oh no so I was like I was trying to tip out the water and then it was like too heavy for me to push over and I was gagging it as well yeah how's the not toxic I didn't like it sick yeah so I wait I just left it I waited for it to be dry for a long time, so the water level eventually went down
Starting point is 01:17:08 to the point where it's just like wet sand in the bin and I was like, I guess I have to like tip this out somewhere. I literally couldn't budge the bin. It was so heavy, it was like, it was like a bin of wet sand basically and I was like pulling on it, it was just bending the bin and it wasn't moving. So then, I just, I like to get. I just like to get.
Starting point is 01:17:29 And then Dan came over and I was like, Dan, you got help me move this bin dude, I can't move it. And I don't have to like individually dig out all the poo. So then we eventually like dragged it away to try and like get some of it into the other bin. And it was like all deforming and stuff and it was like, we're just gonna have to cut the bin and then deal with it at that point.
Starting point is 01:17:52 How much was the bin? They had the cost of it? Yeah, it was like from home, it was like when there's plastic black bin. It's just like a 10 bucks throw it away. You're not getting anything. We couldn't lift, we couldn't tip here or anything. So we just took a Stanley knife
Starting point is 01:18:05 to the bottom of the bin around the edge and we just pulled up the thing and it all spilled out. And we realized then, I guess it's ammonia or something in cat shit. And we realized that as we were dealing with this stuff and like bagging it up into individual bags, we were running out of oxygen.
Starting point is 01:18:21 Like we were like getting light headed and I almost passed out. The smell was so bad. Yeah. So we were like getting like headed and I almost passed down. The smell was so bad. So we were like doing this, but it was still like getting into my side. I was just running out of air and I was like, start slumping over. I'd be like, we're gonna die. One of us is gonna full face down in it and then stuff. That's like the worst way to death. That's almost like a Darwin award. It's kind of. So we were like, and it was night as well, we were like doing it, we like dragged it to the back of the garden
Starting point is 01:18:48 and we're doing it in pitch darkness. We couldn't really see where anything was. We were both almost passing out. So we were like doing it in waves, like scooping stuff and then we'd walk back to the house and be like, oh, let's go back to the room. It was one of the worst nights in my life. And it was just like eight cat box changes.
Starting point is 01:19:06 That stuff is deadly toxic and I have no idea why. When I went to the outside to clean that stuff, I took like a sweater and took the sleeves and just like tied it around my face. So I just like had this thing here. I looked like I was a fucking terrorist. I mean, I got out of breath listening to your story, Gavin. It was, it was so weird.
Starting point is 01:19:24 It was like, I don't know what it was doing to the ad, but the oxygen content was way lower amongst the cat shit. Awful, don't ever keep your cat poo to save time or like to save house stink. The piss cat piss can really mess you up too. It's like, that's the worst thing I've ever done. Yeah, that's the worst part. What do you think a favorite guy would have done
Starting point is 01:19:42 if you would favorite and had him do that? You can't that's not how it works. He has to buy something all right You can buy new bin and buy a new bin and toss up Yeah, like part of the process is I don't I don't think I've smelled anything that bad in my life That's after I was smelling it. I felt like I was smelling it through my face and eyes Oh I feel like I know what it through my face and eyes. Oh. I feel like I know what you mean.
Starting point is 01:20:08 Do baby smell that, Ben? And it was like a new smell. It wasn't like, didn't smell like cat piss or cat poo. It was just mixed into this sort of ultra-evendum. That's why I have the grass, man. Sucks it all in. Do we have pictures of the grass so we can see? Back to the grass, are we? Well, I have I have the pictures so I figure I think cut this out if
Starting point is 01:20:27 We're pulling it off. I can see it They're working on it. Oh no, they're looking I looked it up. I saw their website all right for enough I was I was curious enough before I started talking about stupid it was I don't I'm sad We didn't buy any grass for this book us should have next time. Should have. Next time, we'll get some grass in here. I'll go today, be here in four days. No, I made favorite it. Yeah, we should favor it.
Starting point is 01:20:53 How much was it? How much was it? They're out of stock, they're out of stock, the sod. Out of, oh. They ran up grass. Yeah. They everywhere, like nowhere in town has grass? I think they just tried one place. Yeah. It's not, nowhere in town has grass? I think we just tried one place.
Starting point is 01:21:07 Yeah. It's not grass. Oh man. So it looks like you can't buy grass locally. If only there was a service that would ship you beautiful green grass from Cal. You know, Brad, I just, he won the podcast. I don't think so.
Starting point is 01:21:22 Remember the vote? Yeah, that's true. That's true. Although I think people did agree with me. I feel like I'm being obnoxious. I want to have people agree with me about the knife, like getting the knife for your father-in-law that's a nice gift. I think a lot of people. Yeah, some people did. Okay. I found the grass outlet in Austin shop online. How much is how much is it? To my zip code. Boop, boop, boop, boop. Might be an obnoxious in this podcast. I feel like I'm going to specify. You can buy. Am I looking for the cheapest
Starting point is 01:21:54 grass I can buy? Yeah, because I just got a piss and shit on it, right? Yeah, yeah. You can buy Rally St. Augustine Grass. Why are you not talking to him? Oh, that's a shank grass. Riley St. Augustine Grass is $125 for 450 square feet. So let's do some math here. Well, can you buy and sell the ends? What's the square root of 450? What the fuck are you saying? So that's about 27, I would say 28 cents a square foot.
Starting point is 01:22:23 Yeah, that's cheap. Pretty good. So if you're paying 29 bucks, that's cheap. Pretty good. So if you're paying 29 bucks, it's like you can get like a hundred. They probably don't sell it to you at one foot square patch though. Let me see if I can. 28 cents. By now, you buy like a two by two one. It costs only for them to read your order than make how many square feet did you say?
Starting point is 01:22:41 450. Buy like a two by two foot patch, right? That's a good, that's about what you're buying, right? Right? Now I actually buy HDs for free. Now I buy a, I buy a four by six. Four by six.
Starting point is 01:22:58 Four by six, that's 24 square feet. So it's 24 times 28 cents, it's $6.72. 24 feet so it's 24 times 28 cents is six dollars and 72 cents Why pay like I pay 25 bucks for it All right So you're you're paying like a dollar square foot then Yeah, about dollar a little more. Yeah, but it shows up at my house. It shows up this one I get this delivered but the smallest you can buy it's more than 50 square feet That's the minimum order. Well my apartment's like 750. So if this is 125
Starting point is 01:23:30 So that's like five deliveries for you that would solve one my problems because then if the budogs do their business inside And I have grass everywhere. Yeah, exactly. Have we talked about this before? I feel like this is a familiar conversation. We talked about Having grass in your house. Didn't we tell what today? No, like I think we talked about this before? I feel like this is a familiar conversation. Have we talked about having grass in your house? Didn't we talk about it today? No, I think we talked about it in the past. It sounds very familiar now. It's a skylight. What if you had like, can you fake that?
Starting point is 01:23:53 Like have like ultraviolet lights or something? Yeah. If you want to live in an ultraviolet, the apartment. Yeah, we have it. Yeah. You try that in the astronaut. They had grass inside and glass panels,
Starting point is 01:24:01 but then they had to paint the panels. I would live in the grass house. Why? I don't know. I like the grass. It feels good on your feet. It does, doesn't it? There's no bugs in it.
Starting point is 01:24:12 Yeah, and there would be bugs in it. Oh, maybe there would be bugs in the house. It'd be great for bugs. Do you all? Do you all wear your shoes when you're in your house? No, no. It depends. Sometimes you do?
Starting point is 01:24:22 I like it. I don't like it either. I try to take it. I feel like I'm not home if my shoes are I when I was younger I used to always wear my shoes in the house like I like it was just something that I wore right what you were like on your bed They I would take it off on the bed. I think that that's gross But like as I've gotten older it's like as soon as I get home like I don't I don't want to I don't want to wear them anymore I try not to wear pants
Starting point is 01:24:40 I have a roommate I don't know. I prefer not wearing pants as well. Yeah, it's, or shoes, or, I mean, like, I don't know, what do you wear instead of pants? Are you seeing your underwear? Do you put like poncho sometimes I wear a poncho? Like a big raincoat? Wait, what's a poncho?
Starting point is 01:24:59 Isn't it like a blanket? Rain cape. It's like a blanket with a hole in it. Yeah, like a snuggie all morning. Pacho. Yeah, yeah, it's it's it's Pacho is the original snuggie. Pacho. Yeah, did you imagine the rain thing but like like blanket instead of rain proof?
Starting point is 01:25:14 What about if you're at someone's house, but it's like you know friends everything is chill. It's not like you don't know these guys. Do you take your shoes off or do you keep them on? I would keep them on. I just ask them. The person who lives there has their shoes off. Then I would, if I see them take, if I go in with someone and they have, and they take their shoes off, I'm like, oh, should I take my shoes off? I'll ask or just take them off. I don't know. But it can be gross, then someone comes over and they take their shoes off, but they just got bare feet all
Starting point is 01:25:41 of your half. I guess that's true. Yeah. I think, but then on the other side, those, everybody who comes in who's wearing their shoes, all that shit on their shoes is all of your half. I guess that's true. So I've got some socks on. But then on the other side, those, everybody who comes in who's wearing their shoes, all that shit on their shoes is now on your floor. Like, you ever like, swiffer whatever your floor, and then you look at the bottom of it, and it's like black, and you're like, this is disgusting. All right, what's always fascinating to me is
Starting point is 01:25:58 the shoes that people choose to wear when they get on an airplane, or like when they're at an airport. Does anyone else ever pay attention to that? Like I think it's like most of the time people wore sneakers right? You got to wear sensible shoes when you're flying like you never know if you have to run or you know you want to be comfortable but every now and then you'll see someone wearing like something absolutely ridiculous. Like I'll never understand when I see you know women wearing like
Starting point is 01:26:19 super high heels that are really uncomfortable. It's like you really should be comfortable right? Or like dudes wearing like flip flops. Yeah, I never understood flip flops. Well, I thought about that. Which is why I always wanted to choose. But then I also said you have to take your shoes off with the airport and stuff. And flip flops are like super easy.
Starting point is 01:26:35 Not if you're pre TSA or TSA sort of, or whatever. Yeah, pre-check. It's amazing. But to the point, like flip flops would be super easy to take out. And I guess then you're walking around barefoot. Yeah, that's a good one. But you don't like flip flops under any circumstances?
Starting point is 01:26:50 I'm gonna flip flop. Flip flop fan. I think it's a generational thing. Like in college it was like where would it go on? And then like I worry at work and then you guys like fucking destroyed me. Like this like our workplace is just this professional attire place. I remember we had one employee who started, and they wore like a suit on their first few days, and then on the third day, they were in like, like super nerdy, giant t-shirt and like shorts. I think
Starting point is 01:27:17 Marshall used to wear an undershirt to work. I would be wearing flip flops, gym shorts, and an undershirt? I mean, there's never been a uniform here, right? No point. No, book no. Don't wear like the enables out. And that even that happens. I tried. I just a little nice when I started first. I remember you being self conscious about wearing flip flops to work Because you would like usually wear flip flops, but then you bring shoes to I think I was around the time you drove over that curb and almost killed us. Oh, it didn't almost kill us. Well, my car, it's like a Honda Civic
Starting point is 01:27:48 and it's one of those like a Honda Civic. It's a Honda Civic and it's a coupe and it's extremely low to the ground and Austin has like, we were at a restaurant with like, it was basically the parking lot was a field. And Gavin never ate, had dinner with me again All right, well, it's about time to wrap this up. All right, so thanks for watching everybody We will be back live next week for the pancake podcast
Starting point is 01:28:17 So we're all looking forward to that. Oh, yeah, and if you thank you Patrick If you want to send us a podcast theme you can make one and put it right there Send it to that email address. Why don't we do a piece of spare? We will play it during the credits of an upcoming podcast If we like it we should do a piece of fear. Let's try to do it. Maybe the week after pancake podcast work on it Well, we'll forget some logistics. I feel like I was obnoxious podcast everybody's gonna hate it No comment was gonna be like oh and stay tuned try hard podcast coming up right after this. No, no comment. No comment was gonna be like. Oh, and stay tuned. Try Hard Podcasts coming up right after this. Oh, there it is. On some blocks.
Starting point is 01:28:49 On some blocks. On the cock block. So check them out. Alright, thanks guys. We'll see you guys next week. Do you like apples? Describe the show to a newcomer in a more familiar way. Do you like apples? Example. Together in Trempit hosts.
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