Rooster Teeth Podcast - Raccoons: The New Cats? - #685

Episode Date: January 26, 2022

Join Gus Sorola, Chris Demarais, Kayla Milton, and Barbara Dunkelman as they talk about pet raccoons, fried rice made by an alien, all of the time happening at the same time, Chris being all kinds of experts, and more on this week's RT Podcast. RTX Tickets on sale now: https://www.rtxevent.com/ Sponsored by Squarespace (http://squarespace.com/ROOSTERTEETH), BetterHelp (http://betterhelp.com/ROOSTER), & Stamps.com (http://stamps.com and use code ROOSTER) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What would you do if you had the freedom to be anyone or to go anywhere without limitations? Start your journey and experience for yourself the feeling of total freedom when you game with Alienware. Alienware is your portal to new worlds where limits don't exist and the only rules are the ones you decide to make. Defy boundaries and start gaming now at Alienware.com. Next-gen gaming is built with Intel Core i9 processors. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Hello everyone, welcome to the RISC podcast. I'm Gus. I'm Chris. I'm Kayla. I'm Barbara. And I'm Gus. That's a fine looking shirt. Barbara.

I meant to wear mine today. I forgot. It's TFT trash panda squatting force university. Says S TFU. I'll have fun joke. Chris too. I got one too. Here's the right.

And we actually had a little vote on Twitter for what our mascot would be. And I mean, easy win. This cute little trash panda raccoon. I want this on everything. Like a pin, I want a pin in this guy. I'm gonna tell you something Barbara. The raccoons in my backyard do not look nearly that good.

They look mean. Like they want a more mean. They look mean. Like a shield like this guy. They look mean. Dude, I wish we domesticated raccoons instead of cats. I'm with you 100%. I'm with you so much, man. They look me dude. I wish we domesticated raccoons instead of cats. I With you 100% I'm with you so much like I would much rather have a recune in my house in a cat I can't have done nothing for me a recune could help me watch my grapes

I also love the way you say raccoon what cuz you don't I emphasize the rat like the raccoon you say raccoon Recoot it's like our Make it sound cooler. Yeah, we're making sound cooler. Yeah Raccoon so when you play like resident evil is it raccoon city? Raccoon city I think raccoons now dinner I feel like it's a south thing maybe Because that sounds like a maybe a southern act rac. Raccoons, how do you say it?

Raccoon. Raccoon. I can't think about how I know how I say that. Let's just say trash panda. The, the, Trish Pian. Anunciation goes out the window. That's it.

There's so much cooler than cats. Yeah. And they're the cuter. They've got a hand. Hands. That's what I'm saying. But the only way to groups, the only danger with that is how much more crazy nonsense.

Okay, your pet raccoon would get into you and I respect that about raccoons. I respect that. You could, you know, they'd be a good pet. Yeah. You'd be always on the like watch. You ever see you're off from anywhere. You ever see that video of a raccoon who tries to wash cotton candy? Yes. This is sad. This is the funniest. Yeah, it's like takes cotton candy up to like a dish of water and it puts into wash it before they eat it. Yeah. And the, the cotton candy just to like a dish of water and puts it in the wash it before they eat it as

Respectable animals. They're the con candy just all dissolves and they're like who's like What is pause in the water? Dude you're melting it it's going away. I feel like that moment that video is Chris. Like if I were to say, Chris, I would be that one. You know, the, I before the podcast started, I went to the bathroom down the hall over here. And when I was walking back, I walked by one of the exterior doors. And there was like,

it sounded like a wild animal to me outside, like banging and thrashing up against the door. And I thought, that's probably Chris out there. So I went up to the door and I opened it. And I was like, I know who that is and then you have sure enough It was Chris on the you couldn't unlock the door to get a card reader change No, I think you're just having it like you have to hold it on it longer or something that changed it

That's a change. I don't think I did it the normal way. I've always done Maybe you just held it longer all the time maybe the normal way I've always done. Maybe you just held it longer all the time. Maybe. I don't know. Or maybe you were just being impatient and weren't holding it. The standard. I've been impatient a lot, Barbara, and it's never happened.

That's very true. That's very true. I can't at all. I was like, my card isn't working. What's going on? This is like, oh, this is how they fire me. OK. It was so loud that other people were,

like I just happened to be the closest but other people were coming up to investigate what was going on at the door. Well, I liked that the door guy was just like, well, he had stepped away. He was getting water. He was around the corner. So like it was just like the perfect storm.

Yeah, well, I had to go take a bull grap for pooping. And we were finishing up and so I ran over there and he was like forever. He's doing laps. And then he went back inside and like, dude, you have pooped yet? Does anyone like let their dog poop like in some place in the house? Oh. Like the toilet or something or like not like a litter box for cats, but something similar for dogs.

He makes these like fat fat grass. Yeah. But I think it was just a lot of side. On the trade. You could put it inside, but it would just smell bad. It's like shit. I guess I'm just trying to think of like, because pizza, so many people own dogs.

Yeah. And I wonder how everyone manages to like, be home enough to let it out to walk or. Or most dogs you can wait, you know, a while. A whole day. Yeah, well normally. A while. Yeah, normally, like I'll give my dogs like eight hours, but I mean, they can go longer,

they can go like 10 or 12. Yeah, like my dog like, because we all are way more powerful than me. Yeah. Because like last person would be out of the house at like 7, 30, 8 a.m. Yeah. And then my dog, I like, I would get home first at like 2 30 so he just wouldn't Have he would go out you don't start like a dog door. Yeah, yeah That's on my to-do list of the dog door wasn't much of a deal

We were working from home, but now that we're like in an out office more any to like yeah, but it he's not root He's not on that routine yet. So that's why I want to make sure I like both of these like good. Yeah. I just don't want to hold it. Finally. Yeah. Someone in check who says Jay Tizzle was taken wrote, my dog will poo in the basement if I'm not home to let her out.

And I never fault her for that. Wasn't home when she had to go. That's fair. I was going to say like I just I feel so bad. I can't imagine being poor little animal just having a piss myself. They don't drink coffee. So they've got an advantage. They literally have a leg up on us.

I will say this about burger, you know smart. I'll get home and then he'll immediately chuck a bunch of water. Oh, like he's way, like he knows. Oh, my don't drink water yet, because I'm just gonna have to hold it. So yeah, I'll get home and I'll like, he's like, he's like, he'll go, finally, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, get it already. Okay. Um, medium. I, I prefer on the smaller end. He's has had kind of medium larger dogs

in the past. Um, we're looking at like a poodle mixes, essentially, is like our deal dog. Just because of hyper allergenic, I don't know if we like just straight up poodles. It's also like, you know, if we could do a rescue dog or a dog, um, we. It's also like, you know, if we could do rescue dog or a dog. We're definitely gonna all try to do that. But we also want a dog that works for us and that fits our lifestyle and stuff. So it's going to be some work. But I want to do it right. Yeah. I feel like people don't go in poodles, but what they don't understand is a doodle is like one of the worst bugs. A golden doodle. Like it's like temperamentally doodle. Like the dude who invented doodles, he said,

I wish I had never done this. I personally, I'm a huge fan of capapoo's. I don't know if you see that. I don't know what that is. You should Google it is just a capapoo. It's I think that King Charles Cavalier and Poodle Poodle. Birded, uh, bird doodles. Birded doodles look cool.

These are not these are really animals. These are real animals, yeah. These are real animals, yeah. It's not like Pokemon. Yeah. Yeah, it's like a, Burdoodles will cool a ship. That's a Pokemon like that. That's a dead one. Yeah, I mean, I gotta say, I respect that you and Trevor are not taking this decision likely, likely, and that you're like thinking about it and figuring out a little logistics

and thinking about the animal. Like, oh, what, you know, what are we going to do? Are you going to suffer? Is it going to be in a bad place? Who's going to be able to let it out? I mean, I appreciate that. It's a big responsibility. It is. And also, I think it's helped like with Jackie and Fredo. They had, they just got gob who, you know, within the last year or so. And just like seeing their experience raising her and like, because she, they got her when

she was a puppy. And it's just like, it's like a, not to the same extent. Like a newborn baby. It's like you have to like take care of it and you know, be there for it when it wakes up in the morning and all throughout the day and like really like watch over it. And just like being prepared for that, I think I can't imagine choosing to adopt a dog and not literally thinking

through every. Yeah. Can I give you two suggestions? One, raccoon, do it. Do it. Try and domesticate it. Go bigger, go home. Just find a litter. Are they? I feel like people have domesticated raccoons and presses. Like that exists. Yeah. People have done that. Have you ever seen the video of the guy feeding all the raccoons on his front porch? Yes. Yes. Yes.

Of course. So think about that. That could be me. Think about you feeding hot dogs on your porch, relaxing in a summer day, drinking a lemonade with some maybe like a beer or tequila in it or something, and you're just tossing hot dogs in the water. The lemonade was a beer in it? No, it like a beer or tequila and something and you're just tossing hot dogs in the world.

The lemonade with a beer in it. No, I'm not. I mean, a beer or a lemonade. Okay. Depending on what. But you just imagine that you're relaxed at tossing hot dogs. Yeah. To your adorable.

Well, I think the ideal scenario would be the raccoon is fetching me the hot dog. Oh, my God. If I could have a pet that also works for me, well, it would be dangerous for it to be pulling them off the grill. Yeah. But it could do it. You know, you could use this little cloth. You get them a little spatula or little tongs. Little tongs. Or even just build a little like a top to your like little thing that you climb up on Yeah, I look a little lever that just like rolls down into a place I've seen so many videos where people have training. Oh, yeah, like a lever that then like tilts the grill

So hot dogs roll down or something. Oh my god. I want that anyway. Yeah That could or not be bothered The other suggestion is you could do a I can't be bothered. The other suggestion is you could do a dog, what do you call fostering, that's what I would book, or that way you could try, you only have to commit to a dog. You don't have to commit,

but that will kind of give you that idea of like what. Oh, how, yeah. You could do it, it's short term, and you're not committing anything, but it gives you kind of an idea of like what, your rhythm might be. Yeah, we look into you now. I Trevor also grew up with dogs.

Like he's had a dog ever since he was young. Um, and so like he knows a lot about raising pups. Oh yeah. But I've never, never had a dog, a cat, anything. No pets. None. Other than a hamster. It'll be fun when it breaks your heart.

It's about 10 years. I know. I did. Which my parents, but that's another thing we talked about. I'm like, we're essentially buying heartbreak. Yeah. Well, that was a good one for this. Yeah, but that's everything.

I guess life is just a break. Yeah, like, why ever get in any relationship. You're just gonna break up or one of them you're gonna die. Like, it's gonna be forever. We're just gonna go down to the flames. Yeah, and by forever, one of you's gonna outlive the other.

Unless you happen to literally go down and flames together. I don't like nihilistic Chris. No, it's just like- I said something really optimistic, not optimistic, but something I heard the other day that's very, promise I'm not stoned when I say this kind of message. So the concept of time, we always think about as a straight line.

Like we have our past and we have the future and you're kind of somewhere on that line, so yeah. And everyone thinks about like, I want to do that. I want to accomplish this in my future. I'm like, I'm trying to get to my future like essentially, you're always thinking about, I'm on my way to this non-existent point. Yeah. And you can never really contextualize it properly. Yeah. And this thought of always trying to like move through time like that instead of the reality, which is essentially the only thing that exists is present. Yeah. That's it. And so time is moving through you. And so just essentially like you are always present. That's the only thing that will ever exist to you. And so just like allowing things to come and like being

as present as you can and like being happy in that moment with like, oh, I think what you haven't been grateful for. I think a lot of times it's easy. It's easy to ruin the now thinking about the future about like, like, adreding something. It's like then you're not even if that thing's bad in the future, you're also ruining the now. And I'm not saying, you know, there is there is some value to it's like being prepared and trying to, you know, get minimized. But it's like, you can really affect your mindset, like really dwelling on a lot of that stuff. And personally, I have two with like severe anxiety that I felt or that I've dealt with in the last like,

you're two years, like worse than I ever had before. And like, what do you think that was? Oh, yeah, I just, I mean, something. You're really testing out about this dog thing, Barbara. And listen, down there, she's just that. But I tend to think worst case scenario. So like if something's coming up, I think like, I think like, exactly.

Woo! Contestria high five for right now. Um, but I just kind of like try to like, not. I find ways to cope with these things. And like, this is one of them. Like not thinking about the future, because it has not happened yet and doesn't exist yet. And thinking this thought helped me so much the other night, it was tomorrow hasn't happened yet. And that's like that has changed.

No, if you think of it in a positive way, tomorrow hasn't happened yet. So like if you're worrying about something that might happen at some point in time, what hasn't happened yet? Kind of the flip side of that. Yeah. The way that, well, maybe not the flip side, but a different way of looking at it, like the way I think about it, is back in 2012 or 2013, one of the first RTX's, sweet and which RTX badges available now, early bird prices, to February 14th. For first members. One of the first RTX's that we planned in person. There it is.

It was really stressful. There was a lot going on. We were planning it, Barron and I. It's like, oh my god, we have all this work to do, all this stuff to do. And then some of the people that we work with on the event said, you got to look at it this way. There's a date on the calendar. The event's going to happen. Whatever you do, you can do as much as you can now to like try to make it good and do what you can. But it's like eventually you're going to get there and it's going to pass. It's like you, you just got to be prepared. Anything to stop it. Yeah. Yeah. Regardless of what you do, it's going to happen at that time, which is, speed of which badges on sale

now. For first member general public on January 26th. Early bird discounts are available through February 14th. We're going to be back in person. Please come to RTX. We are all so excited about it. We're all so excited to see you guys again in person back here in Austin. So please come down. See us. Please come to RTX. That's cute. Wait, that's going to be a lecture. I've been missing it. Oh, yeah. It's like a, it's that feeling of like being around a group of people and like that, like camaraderie and like, I think it's also, this is a very, I think, um, maybe not ego

testicles, right word, but it long goes lines of just like, we make so much stuff. And this last two years has felt so lonely and like Just making content doing these streams and like not being able to put faces to the names we see and like Black Mirror all day. It's all day. It just feels very lonely and Isolating and just to be able to do our tx and to actually see the people who watch our stuff Makes things like I don't, it invigorates me every single year. Yeah, now I get that 100%.

Because I remember the first RTX, I didn't really get, I didn't really understand what we're doing. And I mean, that sense like, like, make stuff and then like, people comment on YouTube or Roussi's side or whatever. But then seeing people in real life, I was like, oh, it just felt real, I don't know, and then talking with people, it's like, it does so much to accept, take a name, commenting, and then put it in, then also,

and there's like real people that, with real palpable excitement. Yeah, and it makes it, and and it's also just like you're now sending like immediately you meet people and then you can like actually know oh that's so-and-so from I met them. Yeah, you know like in real life they're a real person. Yes, you and just all the time. All the time. That's your body. It's weird. Yeah, that's chomper. It's chompers, tart 86. Chompers, tart 86. So we'll grab that before I make it an NFT.

Gosh. It's just, I don't know, it's just, it's just a nice experience for so many reasons. And just, I think we've missed it. And it just has felt like, I don't know. It's just nice to see the people who enjoy your stuff and actually get to, with such a negative past two years, having some positivity and some like. There's been a lot that sucked. Yeah. Yeah.

Also, like the only reason I even work here is because of RTX. Really? Yeah. I swear I had a built swim and we did something on the main stage and I was like. Center stage. Center stage. That's Gus's pet peeve.

The following at main stage is that exact stage. We were doing something on the center stage and so the like our marketing team came out for the whole weekend and we met with like the full screen people and I've vived with one of the full screen people. So then when AT&T bought adult swim and they were like we have a hiring for you so you can't see here anymore. I was like, oh, well, one place I went to is pretty cool. I'm not gonna move to Texas though. And I've been here for four years.

That was four years ago. Yeah. Damn, dude. Yeah. Tick-to-n. And now you're like, Oh, was it Tick-to-n? Yeah.

I know. Yeah. That's awesome. I didn't know that. I didn't know that was your origin story. That's my villain origin story. And now you're part of the STF you poor thing. Yeah. Oh, that was a great incorporation of the STF you poor thing. STF you poor thing for the people listening at home. Most of us have on the shirts. Let's see STF you on the which is a new line of merch you get, which is the Rucystore. It's also a mantra for this past two years, SCFU.

I think some people in chat are surprised that you worked at adults from, I guess, maybe they did their awards for the same. They're surprised, yeah, my first show about the college, I interned at TBS and TNT, because they're all, all of Turner, I guess that doesn't exist anymore. Turner broadcasting was based out of Atlanta. And I got a marketing degree out of the spite, because I didn't want to do that. So I was going to be like, I'm going to be in business. I'm going to be in business in a fun way. So I, yeah. So I applied a little of the Turner jobs, so I got one. And then while I was interning at TBS and TNT, I got one and then while I was interning at TBS and TNT, I got a role called T3 with adult swim.

Is that like you're like a terminator? Yeah, it's like a terminator. It's like it's like intern plus where it's like it's like not a girl not yet a woman where it's like you're not an intern but you're not yet a coordinator. Yeah. And they're kind of like building you up to then become a coordinator.

So it's like a 15 month role I think or 11, it's 11 months. Okay. I don't know, but they kept me way longer So I was like shit. I'm gonna be a coordinator and then they're and then they a team too It was like we bought you guys you can't hire Firing people and I was like oh And then we went Caleb, please Yeah, I was like what's up? What's up full screen, whatever. Who was the person at full screen? Or do they still, but she's not there. She's a Spotify now.

Okay, yeah. I was really hoping it would be Tim G. No, it wasn't like a car scene. Tim Hired me. Tim Hired me. Really? Yeah, he's the one, he's the one I, he hired me directly.

I was his direct hire. We talked about Tim G on the podcast before. Yeah, I was his first hire. He has a show that he makes on YouTube called the Green Line Green Line, which is all about planting, gardening. Yeah, it's like to me, those pizza walk boys, all that. Yeah, it is so perfectly tinned. I love it. Yeah, you should look it up the Green Line, yeah, or just Green Line. It is dank pizza nights. I talked about. Yeah, you should look it up the green life. Yeah, or just green life. There's dank pizza nights. I talked about sorry, I talked about this a couple of weeks ago in the podcast, but when you favorite subreddit is pizza crimes.

Evilly. Where it's just like people post disgusting looking pizzas. Not that Tim G makes disgusting pizzas. You're talking about pizza. My pizza's online. Let's not roll it out. Yeah. The pizzas are good. Pizzas are good. Pizzas now. They are about pizza. Mine. Pizza's online. Let's not roll it out. Yeah, because the pizzas are good. Pizza's good.

Which is good now. They are delicious pizza. Yeah, there's delicious pizza. The only disgusting part is like, when you're making the pizza and you have to watch like a child like try to spoon something because they don't have fine motorcycles. So it's just like,

It's a mess. How do I, it's so weird that kids don't have fine, like, they don't have the practice yet. It's so weird they're like little like, like, yeah. Yeah, we can't move their hands like, and I remember not being able to move my hands. Like, it's just weird to think about it. It's weird because you would think it's like something,

oh, this should come naturally to human beings. It's like how could we talk, but you can't hold a spoon, not like this. Yeah, human suck. Like, and it takes a lot of practice to human. No, even, even, even out of the spoon, not like this. Yeah, human suck. Like, it takes a lot of practice to human. No, even, even, even out of the, like, the vaginal cut now. Well, well, please say, well, Chris, please say whatever you want to call that. I don't know what you're doing. Or just the vagina. You come out of the vagina.

No, no, no, no, let's into Chris, a female anatomy expert, Christa Maris. We are terrible. Like, we can't feed, we shit, Chris Demaris. We are terrible. Like we can't feed, we shit, we can't even open our eyes, we can't, we just scream, we're like terrible. Like, skip them. Now this is obviously, I'm on it. I'm maybe not speaking out of life because I don't have to put them in my stomach.

But I feel like they should stay in longer so that they get a little more developed. Like, drafts come out and they walk. They walk. They come out walking. Every other animal gets to the drafts come out and they walk. They walk. They've come out walking. Every other animal is cool. Now, then they walk immediately. Could all people with uterus is chime in here

and just like maybe like respond if you're cool with if and when you choose to get pregnant. You would be okay a little longer than I thought. Well, no, no, no. Just, you know, I'm not saying it's like, I don't think we can do anything about it. I think kangaroos up to right idea. Oh, yeah.

Oh, absolutely. Discussing powder. Although they like, don't they carry it around for like quite a while? We do that anyway. Yeah. We build our own pouches. Technically. Yes.

We build our own pouches. We are building our own kangaroo pouches that we have to go, you know, and then we, and we have to strap them. Carp seats. We have to strap them to, to, to, there's a little bit of that. That's Christopher Maris, a vaginal expert. I'll take that and run with it. You should never make a dating experience.

I'll make a dating experience. Yeah, there you go. I do post-release, at least I only hold two fingers. Yeah, you also look right into camera. I mean, I would do it as those two, but if you want to, this podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Making websites on your own is hard and there are so many awful website building platforms out there with limited features that make ugly, poorly optimized sites. Luckily for you, Squarespace is the go-to on one platform to build your beautiful online presence

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Anyway, interesting show. Kayla teaches Chris is sex. I'm just saying that was less efficient. Piles missing up there. Age probably did that. Where was I going about? You're like, what do you raves falling on the bed? Maybe longer. And yeah, yeah, your stomach according to you. Yes, before it comes out the vaginal canal. Yeah, if we if we just developed them stronger and

More efficiently, we I don't know why it's nine months. Yeah, come on thereabouts They should be they should be further along I will say human's that's not a long time. No, we're not also yeah, okay Why don't we count Never mind. No, don't not. Also, yeah. Okay. Why don't we count? Nevermind. Don't go there. Don't do it. I was just a pregnancy question.

Why don't we count our age from the time, like, are you actually a year old? Are you a first five months? I saw something really funny about twins that were born at 11.59 PM on New Year's Eve. And like 12 or two p.m. they're born in different years. Yeah, but also like I agree because if you're just in your if you were conceived before someone, you should be worried that it loves. Like if you were conceived before someone, let's say I was conceived January 1st,

you were conceived January 10th. Yeah. Well, that's a long time. But your mom goes into labor before my mom. Yeah. So you're born technically older than Barb. Technically older because you were born then, but I was conceived earlier. So you're going to get your now you're starting to dance around very tricky questions.

That are that are the crux of a lot of laws up. Oh, no, I know that. I know that. But just in terms of like, can see versus can, because like that we only start counting age when you're talking about that. Which I think, which is your birth day,

but your true age, true, like I could be. Anyway, I don't know if you all were on the podcast last time I mentioned this, but not every country counts age the same way we do. What does that mean? Like in Korea, everybody ages a year on January 1st. Excuse me? What?

Yeah, it's like you have a birthday, but you become a year older on January 1st because it's another year. But what if you're born December 29th? 29th. two now? It's like you're born December 28th. And that's your own. Everyone's a domino rolls over January 1st, essentially, because it's a new year and another. So when it's your birthday, like, nothing happens. Yeah, I mean, it's yeah, I think it's okay. But yeah, but you're not like now now I'm 32. Right, no, it's like you were 32 on January 1st. So you're 33. That's cool because like birthdays are less stressful.

Everyone's celebrating the same time. You have to worry about getting gifts for people. I hate this. I will say that. It's not an interesting way to deal with each other. Right, but it's like we're not, there are other ways to approach this. All these articles about like so and so lived to 100,

like the oldest personal life. Yeah. How does that count? Do they? Do they made it to 100? Also, the count is 99. Well, leave your days. Do we add those on? No, because they're extra days. We're counting a year 365. Yeah, I think it makes sense to start counting it when you're born because Conception, I mean you catch that at various times. Yeah, it's an estimate on like how far along you are usually Do you ever um not to again do you ever think about?

This is so stupid You know, so it takes two different kind of cells to like meet to make an embryo or whatever I to like meet to make an embryo or whatever. I allegedly, I always think about like, well, you said like, well, I've been here, but you know, I was like in a ball sack when it happened. Wait, what? Because you know, you genetic material, because like, okay, so women are born with all of their eggs, which is insane. And guys, man, they're sperm over time.

Yeah, which I assume I don't know enough about the male form to confirm it and I that, but I know the women are born with their eggs. So it's like, I always think about, it's like, well, I've never physically been here technically. Oh, wait, what? You'll never physically. Yeah, it's like, oh, have you ever, have you ever been to Mississippi? It's like, well, not physically, but like at some point, part of me.

Probably. Yeah. Oh, I'm going to be there. I'm going's like, oh, have you ever been to Mississippi? It's like, well, not physically, but like at some point part of me was there. Yeah. Oh, oh, is it like eight piece of you? Yeah. Because if you're something that eventually became you at some point.

But then you could count like a food, a piece of food that you ate. Like you, yeah, if you ate a piece of corn from getting well So I'm a cool and then later consumed it and it came part of you. Yeah, then technically you're an Arkansas No, I'm taking the Arkansas as a you Yeah, I feel like that's a sperm or even so if you had Arkansas City be I see what you're saying. Yeah But these are weird fucked up Everything is weird. We should have evolved past this But that's what Chris was saying just like you're gonna start him over on this

Yeah, he's keep the baby I'm gonna leave me coming out walking I gotta pop out walk away I think about I think this is why aliens won't talk to us because they're like you know they still like I don't think humans are designed to birth something that could come out walking That's why we suck. That's why it's so big at that point Hear me out. It would be more horrifying to shoot out a tiny fully formed human I think it's because of our brains. It's because our heads are heads are too big because our brains are too big

Yeah, yeah, but especially us for everyone in the in before comments. I'm not high. I've never been high The I know this whole thing sounds like a high conversation. I've had three cups of coffee today. I'm the most sober Oh goodness I caffeinated quite a bit to yeah, yeah, I don't know if I did too much or not enough based on this conversation I saw a really disturbing video, um, oh, that Esther sent to me earlier today. It's this person. I, it's been on YouTube for a couple of years, but it's this person making fried rice.

Okay. But it's almost like an alien who's never had human food trying to make human food. I love that because like they brown some garlic in a pan and they end up burning it. And then they throw the rice in to start like cooking the rice in a corporate it's like uncooked rice. Uncooked rice. Like uncooked on wet dry rice. Exactly.

It's no dry hard uncooked rice into a pan to make fried rice. Already wrong. Yeah. And then they chop up like deli meat, like deli ham and chicken to put into their fried rice. And it's like a 10 minute long video that I couldn't turn away from. It's just called special fried rice. Do they consume it? Yeah, then at the end, someone eats it. Is it fresh? And their first note, the first thing out of their mouth and they take a bite is, can't really taste the garlic.

It's like, really, is that the first thing you thought of when you took a bite? Sounds it it make when he took a bite. Was it like, you ever hear a bone break? Yeah, that's what I imagined. Eating dry, uncooked rice, it's like, that's what I thought it was, it's like filmed on a phone. It's like you can't really hear it that well, but I was

fully expecting like him to smile and like his teeth to all be shattered. It's weird though, the things that we eat that we don't realize are wrong. I had a friend who'd always eat the, the, the, the, the, the ramen noodle packets. You just eat the noodles noodles by themselves a lot of people do eat those drugs and then at my little brother For whatever reason whenever we are kids when we get toaster stoodles You know I'm talking about the frozen he just eat them frozen. Frozen. Yeah, and he liked them like that And I was like he'd always just eat them like Possible I was gonna say

Maris eating things weirdly what I've heard of even I wouldn't try and cook rice without water That's good. Yeah, I know that it needs water You got to cook the rice first and then when it's cook you put cooked rice in to make fried rice. Yeah, ideally the next day after you refrigerate what? What you would fridge why do I? What? What? You were frigid, why? I was frigid, well, for the best fried rice, you want to usually use like a day old refrigerated rice.

Really? Yeah. Why? It just makes it better. I think it's because it's less likely to get mushy because you're not double cooking it. So recently after it, it's kind of like it's best to do your like day two hair if you do it up to you because it's a little oily and it has some thickness to it. Oh, no. I think it's because it gives you a longer hair.

For longer. It's like maybe like dry out a little bit. And then when you go to fry it, it's not like it just turned into mush immediately. Yeah. I I assume I don't know. I'm no rice expert. Yeah. You're not.

No. I'm not subject to hair. Okay. Day two hair. I mean, like I hate the look of a haircut whenever it's like, you just got a haircut. It's the worst. It is the worst.

Like, and that's why I avoid getting haircuts. I'll go as long as I can without getting a haircut because I'm like, I don't want to look like I just got a haircut. A lot. I feel like I wish I could, I've had so many haircuts where I wish I could have just gone wait and then just like stop them there. Cause you know, you're like sometimes you're like three quarters dumb whether you're getting your hair done and you're like,

this is what I want. Then they keep doing stuff to it. I wish I could just be like, hold on. Hold here. Leave. Leave. But you've gone, but you can't. You feel like I can't tell them they're. They're.

They went to school for this.'t tell them they're They're School for this but then just keep going sometimes. Yeah, and then so like I'll avoid getting my haircut And then I I came over this tactic that I think worked pretty well Anytime I see and it will lead definitely In largest the amount of time that you can go without getting hair. Larger not right words. It's not extends to the word I was like for. Larges the time.

It enlarges the time. It enlarges the time. If you, anytime you're like in the mirror and you're like doing something of hair, you just cut whatever you don't like. It's lower third. Hair expert. You cut whatever you don't like

and you're not gonna cut it like inherently evenly, but so you give yourself a haircut slowly over the course of days weeks. Here's what you do. Work the fuck are you on or when you do go to the hair. I just got a haircut and that's why we're in a hat. I didn't know this. You got a haircut today. Yeah.

No, it looks like a little boy got the chat. Yeah, it worked. Your system is bullshit. It's no one else going to call them out on this. You cut your hair a little bit every time you look in the mirror. What the fuck is wrong every time? It's anytime you see some the sticks out that you don't like. I will play devil's advocate, but this is more if you have longer, more uniform length

hair. I'll trim up some ins. That I can understand. Some dead ends that I see. But if you have short hair, such as Chris and Marissa, that's very noticeable. Has my hair looked particularly weird at any point in the last like two months?

Every picture of your hair is looked the same since I've seen you start RT. I think if it would be more noticeable if you styled it in any sort of way, but it's usually I do style it What do you do? Well, if I don't style it then it looks I'll show you it just looks like I just got like this Okay, I look like what do you do? Spider-Man 3 emo product or you just use your hands. Yeah, I put some product and kind of like do some judging and

Right now you can't really do much because it's too short, which I don't you know, it product and kind of like do some jisging and right now you can't really do much because it's too short Which I don't you know, it's just kind of like You say just give me a haircut, but not as short as you would do You know what you want the news. I don't use guard What I like to do rocks No, I Don't I just do hair scissors because when they use guards it ends up being like too short. To some they like cut like a quarter inch off or something.

Tell them that like not to take very much. It's a weird balance though, Gus, because I don't like getting haircuts. And I want it to be and I'll try and go as long as I can. But then when have I do get haircuts? I don't want to get enough to where I'm going to go to get a haircut in a week. How about this? What? You find a photo of yourself where you really like your hair and that's a really good idea and you like

Cut it like this please or what you say you find what the guards are bring the picture. There are no guards Bring the picture are you cutting your own hair? Well, yes, we've established that slowly, but when they do it at the hairdresser, what are they using scissors? They scissors, okay Bring the picture that you like and say, I am filming something where we have to have this exact haircut because for continuity. I mean, it's not always wrong. We do film a lot.

We do film a lot. We do the continuity. That's like that's the last few that do a pickup and she was like, my hair is red and not braided anymore. I'm not doing shits. Yeah. Wait, who? Phil, no?

Oh, yeah. We've dealt with that a lot. And a lot of productions. Yeah. There is an RT short we did a few years ago. It's the one where Chris wants to take, like, paternity leave. paternity leave to have a kid.

So he keeps trying to get a kid. And we filmed the first scene maybe like one week. And I thought we were done. And so I had like a hairdresser appointment. I got like her blonder. And then we filmed the next scene. But like luckily I had a cap on. But there's so many comments. And you're like, did her hair to change from scene? Luckily you had a cap on. We put a cap on because we had to because your hair was different colors. I feel like anything shot with blame. It dances on that tip of we better get it now because who knows what he's gonna look like.

I mean, I ain't had a farm. It's one of the reasons I don't really grow my beard out very long. Yeah, it's I don't ever want to film something. And then like have have have recently trimmed it and be like we need to do a pick up. It's like, well, I need a few days. It's like, so I I intentionally trim it to keep it short that way if we need to film something else, it's not a big deal. I, I, I should, I mean to shave today. Oh, for the shoot.

Yeah. Yeah. But I had, I had my, my tires doing that thing where it like gets flat all the time. Is there a veil of it? There might be a nail in a nailing well. Yeah, I think there's a few fill it up and then it It keeps going down. Yeah, that's a little league bro You probably got a nail up my tires doing the thing. Yeah I saw Chris driving down the road earlier and one of his headlights is out Chris hey What's not good? I'm not a car person, all right?

What's not good? I'm not a car person, all right? Gus, what's on your feet? What my shoes? But you got no covers? No, I'm getting out. Oh, yeah, I'll get out. We're all calm. I'll get covers. Don't, I'm, I'm here. This podcast sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy. We talk about BetterHelp, we know a lot on the show, and this month we're discussing some of the stigmas

around mental health, like how people think. You should wait until things are unbearable till you go to get therapy. It's not true. Therapy is meant to be a tool to use before things get worse so you can avoid those lows. Going to therapy doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. It just means you recognize that we all have feelings and emotions and we just need to learn how to control them and not avoid them. So if you're struggling with anything at all, I know better help can help you. Better help is customized online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist. So you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's

much more affordable than in-person therapy. You can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. Give it a try. See why over 2 million people have used Better Help online therapy. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and Root Chief Podcast listeners. Get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash rooster. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com slash rooster. I'm here to converse though. Oh, get out. That's good. I'm glad.

I'm glad. Get that out. I got a last week, even. I got a pneumatic nail gun, it's it's what you need a air time at your tire. Well yeah he's gonna get there and so I got that and so thankfully I was able to fill up my tire using the air compressor. Just air compressor. You came back around. It's the nail gun is powered by an air compressor and then which is awesome.

There's so much fun. Walls and shit. You know, like you know, like hire someone who knows what they're doing to do that. If you wanted to. I know I'm doing. It's fun. I had a conversation with Michael. Well, let me air for nail guns are fun.

Okay. Okay, but I was able to I was able to refill my own tire. I should go dig around and find a car. I got an air compressor in my car too. I don't have a nail able to refill my own tire. I should go big around And five and I got an air car Presser in my car too, and I don't have a nail gun just throwing that out there Yeah, well mine's a big one that can shoot things. Yeah, mine's a little one that inflates Tossing's gonna happen. They're super cool though. I I'd never I'd always just gone to the gas station and like paid the 2775 cents that fucked me up when I moved here by the way gas air is free in Georgia You can just go to like a tire shop and they'll fill it up for free. I also pull that shit so I'm gonna get it. Oh no I'm going to. I

filled it up and then I was like okay cool my tires fill and then it was like I went back down so I gotta get. Yeah, but I was talking to Michael Jones about this the other couple weeks. Pretty select Trishon. He was like Trishon before he started working with Rischthief. And I, and like I went to, I went to, like he did that whenever I was in college. Yeah. Doing studying film and whatnot. And then I, as I get older, I was like, oh, I like doing, you know, like as a, basically the COVID, I started doing like DIY building stuff. Yeah.

As like, oh, you're a hobo there. Yeah. Well, and it was like know, like, as a, basically the COVID, I started doing like DIY building stuff as like, do you know, hopefully? Yeah, well, and it was like, allegedly, allegedly. Yeah, well, the bank would say otherwise. But like, it's, you know, something, it's like, oh, it's a project to do on the weekend, something to keep my time, like, building stuff. It's like, oh, I'm learning how to do this. And he was like, yeah, I don't want to, I don't want to fucking do that. I did that for, you know, five, 10 years. Yeah. Like, now it's like, so what he did for a job,

I now do sort of as a hobby to relax, you know, it's like, it's like a weird. I feel you. Listen, if anything ever happens here, and we don't do this anymore, I'm just gonna become a contractor. Yeah. Did I go to school for that?

Absolutely not. In Austin, shit, you're, you're, just mentioning that you're already backlogged on work to do. Yeah, exactly. I'm already got that already got plans already got people. I've been trying to get someone to come look at my fucking roof since the Hale Store blast march. Are you serious? Yeah. We'll tell you something. You we got no tiles. And nobody will come out there. Yeah. One place I called last week, they're like, yeah, we're booked through the summer. Like really?

Do you don't have like a homoaranty that could come? Don't, don't fuck with homoaranties. It's not what it's for though. Oh, they're all bullshit. Insurance, but you still even so, you would still need to contact someone to come out there. And then it would go. And then they'll cover not it because they're like,

we don't cover that. And you're like, well, they have you for it. They're just like, the whole. cover that. And you know, what they have before and they're just like, home, and a roof, do you have middle? Well, and also insurance, home insurance is different than home warranty. Yeah, yeah, I meant home insurance. Yeah, yeah, yeah, home warranty. Oh, yeah, America home shield. The appraiser came out.

The insurance came out. They're like, yeah, you need to do a lot of work on your roof. Sure, of course they did. Yeah, like I would love to. Can I get someone? It's funny because Trevor and I were talking about this after the They're like, yeah, you need to do a lot of work on your roof. Of course they did. Yeah, like I would love to. Can I get someone? It's funny because Trevor and I are talking about this after the hailstorm a while back. He's like, we should still get our roof checked out.

I'm like, they're going to tell us we need to do something to it because that's like, that's how they make their money. You get your insurance appraiser to do it because they're, if there's something wrong with it, then they have to give you money. So they're going to tell you that's fine. Right. So if anything, like they will tell you if something's actually wrong. Gotcha. Okay.

As opposed to like a company. A company who's just going to be like, yeah, they're really, I mean, we could replace it. Or, it's how I've convinced when I go to the dentist, they tell me I have cavities just so they could charge me for filling. I've seen like X-rays people post online where it's like they have fake fillings, where it's like there were never any cavities there. That's fucked up. That's very fucked up.

No, I know myself. I know mine are real. I probably also have real cavities. I ate a lot of sugar. I don't know how I never any cavities there's like that's very shallow I know myself I know mine are I probably also have real cavities I eat a lot of sugar I don't know how I didn't cavities this last year that's crazy you don't have any I didn't have any last time I went I was like so proud of my do you ever have cavities yeah okay I ate a lot of candy I know this yeah yeah yeah yeah maybe just brush really well I try to and I floss you know regularly hey flossing I'm'm about to waterpick. Whatever. Pick your poison. Yeah, it's better than nothing.

That's what I'm saying, which is the majority of people, which is what I was doing before. Because it hurts. I got it's annoying. It's so tedious. I wish there needs to be something you could just put in your mouth. Can you put down on it? I mean, I'll just like go in between all the teeth for you. Hold on.

That's how lazy I am. I don't want to floss myself. Or I just think we figured out how we're going to retire. The floss for 3000. Yeah. My dentist appointments have gotten so much easier ever since I started flossing regularly. Yeah. Yeah.

Now it's like in and out like nothing. Yeah. Like I used to I used to be once we were like, oh, that's all bullshit. You don't need to do that. Oh my God. It's like night and day. I nothing. Yeah. Like I used to, I used to be once we were like, oh, that's all bullshit. You don't need to do that. Oh my God. It's like night and day. I'm bleeding down my shirt. Did I tell you what happened to me

with the dentist recently? Cool. So this was around the time I had COVID, which was like end of December. I started noticing, because I was like feeling my lymph nodes and stuff like that, because like as you get sick, they could swell, swell up. And there was a little bump along my jaw, not where my lymph nodes are like on the top of the jaw. And I was like, it was like a moving around thing. And I was like,

oh, maybe it's like a, I forgot what it's called, but when you have a swollen, salivary lid, like a cyst, basically, you have an infection on your gums or something you can get that. And so I went to the doctor first and he like felt around on my face for like the felt like the longest time. That was for him. It might have been based on this doctor. He just kept feeling like he goes, you know, like I'm not often stumped, but I'm kind of stumped. He's like, it could be like you had a tooth infection and then like it resolved itself, but it left a little cyst there. And I was like, that's cool.

He's like, I would recommend going to a dentist. And so I made an appointment at a dentist. Wait, where were you? I was just like, just gotta sit out. Oh, I thought this was a doctor. No, this was a doctor. What would he mean? He would go do it just like a general practitioner.

Okay, jeep. And so I got an appointment at a dentist because the one I was with before I hated, So this was a doctor. This was just like a general practitioner. Okay. And so I got an appointment at a dentist because the one I was with before I hated. So I had to get a new dentist. And the castle, the doctor there was feeling around and she was like, the dentist, the dentist, the dentist, like the main person, not the hygienist, the ever, actually, dentist. She was feeling around and she was like, you know, it's possible. it could be like, she's like, do you clench a lot? And I was like, every second of my life. Yeah. And she's like, okay, it's possible that it could have been a muscle, that it's like a muscle knot from clenching so hard. And I was like, that's fine. So you gotta get

a hyperbola. But she also wasn't really sure what it was either. You go back to that other doctor and say, could you check this one again? Yeah, just a little bit. Yeah, it's really good. I'm getting there. But then I was also like, well, I wanted to check if it was infection because I have this,

but I also have this like sharp bit of, like it feels like bone on the inside over here. And she felt around, she's like, oh, yeah, that is protruding more than the other side. And she's like, that's also a sign of clenching. You could literally clench so much and so hard that the bones and your jaw is fucking move and protrude out.

That's fucking underneath like your tongue there. I've had a lot of the messed up stuff happen with my teeth and never that. Chris, do you have a dremel? Yeah. We get fixes right now. Make some content. So is there any solution to that?

Um, so you could do a couple things. One thing she actually recommended. Nicarid for sure, which I will get, but she also recommended I get Botox in my masseter muscle. Huh? Because that apparently, if you clench really bad, your masseters are the muscle there that like essentially gets overworked and really tight, which like eaters are the muscle there that like essentially gets overworked and really tight, which like is not good for clenching and whatnot.

And so it just relaxes your jaw. So it's like you worked out your jaw. Yeah, I'm going to say it's like going to be like tick tock tinge. No, I don't, I don't, it could be because like it's, it's usually a sign that you have like an overworked masseter muscle is like you have a very square face. How do you work that? Just clenching. Too a lot of other.

Literally see like when you clench this muscle. So you can work out your face? Absolutely, you can work out your face. It's a muscle thing in your face. How? Like a, like, that's playing. Like that, good.

But like this, and actually built, you can actually change your, why don't people, you can people change the shape of your job? It's not a good thing because it means you are clenching your teeth. Yeah, it's bad for you. But it can't say if someone's unhappy with the way they looked. Well, that means it's in mewing and we do not have time for that conversation. What is that? Mewing. We don't next episode. It's where you try to make your under the chin look thinner by essentially yeah, bringing the tongue to the roof of your mouth, but not not the front and like keeping it there and it makes like a

vacuum of the apparently if you do it long enough, it brings this up and like defines this, which is all but also you could just like higher than you talk like this to no, it's just a rest at rest or if you're posing in a picture or something, people typically do it to try to apparently because the doctor is like, it's like usually like a nasal breathing thing. Like if you like are like me, you're very stuffy.

After breathing your mouth, the like can cause you to have a weak chin. Interesting. But also if you eat a lot of sugar and snacks like me, that's also caused to have a weak of sugar and snacks like me that's You like candy like mr. Domeris over there. Oh candy boy You'll candy fiend a little candy goblin. I got chocolate terms in my in my cup holder right now But yeah, that's something I might do. Yeah, that doesn't sound fun No, I mean the thing is is that I've seen so many people talk about the relief it gives them, especially like I've had TMJ and all that stuff too.

Damn dude. So just like finally having some sort of like, my jaw could be relaxed and it's not constantly just like this. Yeah, I've also got TMJ. It's like one of the reasons I hated going to the dentist so much because I was like worried about like leaving my jaw open or like the TMJ acting up. Yeah, those sucks. It's like a disorder. to so much because I was like worried about like leaving my jaw open or like the TMJ acting up. Yeah, that sucks. It's like a disorder.

Like a little cartilage disc back here where your jaw comes together and like for some people if you have TMJ, you can like slip out. Yeah. And you can either like cause pain. Oh, you told me about this. Yeah, I get it on that side. But that's not going to. Yeah.

It's very painful. And it just makes it sucks. Everything's so bad. Yeah. And you could try to like massage it, but like man it does not work Yeah, I have not had an attack for a while so I'm like really oh no, no It's gonna come back with like a van That's fine. You're good. You're fine. I'm manifesting it. Thank you. I'm gonna manifest it right to my TMG I'm going to manifest it right into my TMJs. Mmm. A few weeks or maybe a few months ago, we talked about it on the podcast about how you can

request, you can like submit a request to the FBI for them to send you any files they have on you. I would love that. I did it. Oh, you get it. I got it. They turned it around really fast, honestly. Really? Well, there wasn't enough on you. I had it. Oh, you get it. I got my I got it. I think they turned it around really fast honestly. Well, there wasn't enough on you I had nothing that nothing on it. Yeah, I was really disappointed

My sister's one page and it's just the 15 tweets of me Telling her governor to meet me in the parking lot Your HEB for Fistacuffs. That's my that's my whole dossier. Yeah, they have like a web portal Where you go and like you fill out your own personal information But now you're on the list now. They're like wait a minute. What is this guy want to know? Yeah, why is he want to know? Yeah, I'm gonna surprise. There's nothing on you. Yeah me too Well, because especially like we've talked about some you know Controversial things on the show alone which we've been doing for like fucking 18 years or whatever it is. Almost like tea you guys. Well, they didn't start it right away.

You guys started at your pocket in 2000. December 2008. Yeah. Okay. No, no. To the December, yeah December 2008. Yeah, I did a lot of fucked up stuff when I was young too. And now you're using a palace license. I just feel like all of these things are like reasons why you should have at least a one page.ca Yeah, what the fuck can you can you request other people? No, I think it's illegal like you can get a lot of trouble if you do that Okay, and as part of it, you said that like I was about to no no no, I want to be very fast like you're Yeah, I just curious you said okay, like you're sad you have to know a lot

Like even if even so you have to know a lot about the person you're asking about like you have to I had to send in a lot of like old Addresses I've lived that. Oh, yeah, those are my favorite numbers like tons of old information that I don't know that really Anybody else would have anyway to begin with like even me. I lived through that. I was like oh shit What was that like we did I, like trying to remember all stuff. I signed up for clear finally. Yeah, it's the best show. It's the best. But I did it at the airport and they do the thing where like you're completing your signing and there's a page where it says, which address have you not lived? Yeah. And there's like one

of the addresses listed there was when I first moved to Austin, I stayed with Jack for two or three months when I was looking for apartments. He let me stay in his bedroom. So that was an address that I had technically. And so that was on the list and I was like, I don't have it. Yeah, they're either like, what's like, how did they know that? There's two on here I haven't ever lived at. And I was like, oh, that was Jack's point. I think it's because when I got my social security number, yeah, that's what it is. You know, probably we get a signed home

of that address. It's a can she was important. I probably had to give it. I think I had to give an address of where I would be staying. Okay. What's fucked up with me is like for some reason in like the Gus file, whatever it is, wherever it exists. Well, apparently, it's not that it doesn't exist.

Well, the file that does exist, one of the streets I used to live on is misspelled. So when it's like, verify a street you've lived on, I'm like, I haven't lived on any of these, but I know it's this one, which is a misspelling of a street I actually lived on. Did they intentionally misspell it or? No, I don't know, it's just wrong.

You didn't hear. Maybe they spell the street did you bear in scene bears it they definitely spell the street wrong no but the street sign was misspell no I don't want to say I want to say you the straight up make up a new one I'm gonna show you is it like a relay straight forward spelling play the last line here in this Google doc See see it's like they obviously misspelled it. Yeah, okay. It's like it's not like they misspelled it into a word that makes it They misspell seventh There's nothing you can do about changing the name of the street that you live on, huh? Other than moving, like you're like, you got a really tough shit. Yeah, like I found this there's great place. I really like it this house, but you know, it's vagina street. I would love

I prefer like, like, vulva bird. What about vaginal canal or whatever? Vaginal canal. The boat's actually could be a street. Here we have a canal. Like canal street, vaginal canal street. It's put in. Clit Lane. Years ago, I was looking at houses here in Austin. I was looking for my first house to live in.

And there was a house I really liked. But it was off of Confederate Avenue. Oh, Jesus. I am not going to live on a fucking street culture. He never said that. He never thought it was Texas even in the confetti. Yeah, yeah. We're like fucking in it.

Texas is like, not currently. Not currently, but like South. South. South. South. Do we have Texas stories of war? Yeah. Juneteenth is because of Texas. Oh, I thought that was a good anyway. We have to stories that civil war. Yeah. Juneteenth is because of Texas.

Oh, Ted thought that was a good, anyway, we have to get into it. Oh, yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about. We're like, cool house, but also racist street. Yeah. It's like it's a really cool house. Well, I'm gonna live on that street. I mean, I'm from Georgia.

Every other school or street is like Robert E. Lee, Boulevard or like Robert E. Lee Hi, or peach or peach tree. Well, a thousand peach trees and punks delay on for some reason. Does every city in America have an MLK street? Yeah, that's where they put all the black people is usually not a good place to live. That's not it's an except also this the only place where I've ever seen an MLK street that wasn't in like a predominantly black or like underserved neighborhood. Really?

Yeah, it's so expensive to level one because 35 the reason is most MLK streets used to be divisions. Yeah. That's how you know where they were. We're the black red lining was happening for the black people. In Austin, division street was East Avenue, which became 35. 35. Yeah, yeah. That's why MLK, that runs towards the South MLK runs east to west.

Yeah, and that's how it all got fucking. Because when I moved here, my dad almost fought one of the realtor because I was looking at the parmints and it was like a little too pricey. And she was like, oh, look on the MLK and my dad was like, why? Because we're black. We're looking at MLK and then we looked at it and we were like,

oh, these are various. That's the actual platform. Quite $2,000 for a studio, I think not. But yeah, Austin is the only place I've ever stayed. I think it'd be so cool if they all connected. I know it's like impossible. Oh, MLK. Oh, you mean like it like one giant highway,

but it was just, they do all connect eventually. I'll kill you. Don't all streets connect eventually. That's what I mean. Chris, I'll kill you don't all streets connect eventually. That's what I mean. Crystal kill you. Oh, God, there's a way all in real one from another to another to another. Yeah, except for a name of case street. Why? Yeah, you're right.

Fuck how long do you think it would take someone to drive every single street? I don't think you could ever know where I mean, it would be it would be hundreds of years. No, I don't think. Oh, you mean so like, it's still being in making new streets. Right. I don't know. Yeah, possible. No, no, not definitely not in a long time. Depending on how you interpret time, like you said earlier,

if you only live time in the present, Chris will kill you. Hey, I'm glad I'm glad you're taking the lesson hard. Well, here's what I'll say about that. Think about that. They don't know why I think it's electrons. They don't know why all electrons are the exact same. Well, I'm sure the internet will tell me if I want to know this. They don't know why all electrons are the exact same.

Electronics, but yeah, so there's a theory that it's the same electron moving through time. Well, yeah, I mean, energy. What do you mean? But there's only one electron in the universe? Yes. And that moves. It moves. That's how that's.

It moves so quickly through time that it could be all of us. No, that's, it doesn't, it's just how the, we're thinking about time in a way that like, well, I think, okay, here's my theory about time. I think. We have's our dimensional perspective. I think all time exists at once. Okay. So like I feel like we're experiencing time right now, but there's also like where we're happening right now at the exact same time, there's like almost some dude like in a stage

coach, like going through whatever. And I think that's what goes. But that's what electrons that would explain an electron. So it's the one electron universe postulate which was proposed by John Wheeler and a telephone call to Richard Feynman in the spring of 19. Famous fucking dope. It's the hypotheses that all electrons and positrons are actually manifestations of a single entity moving backwards and forwards in time. So I wasn't, I mean, you weren't far off on your explanation. I was, that's exactly what I said.

I don't know how widely accepted this is. Okay. I think my, I think this is my theory. I just said, Hey, there's this thing. It made me think about that one day at a time. But what if we're living all days at the same time? That's what we said the same thing. I think all the days are happening at the all of we're living all days at the same time. That's what we said the same thing. I think all the days are happening at the all of time is happening at the same time because how come right because how come I can look how can we have

a telescope that if we look out far enough into the universe we can see the past. Yeah. This episode of the RESTead Podcast brought to you by stamps.com. If you run a small business you're probably super super busy. What would you do if you had the freedom to be anyone or to go anywhere without limitations? Start your journey and experience for yourself the feeling of total freedom when you game with Alienware. Alienware is your portal to new worlds where limits don't exist and the only rules are the ones you decide to make. To find boundaries and start gaming now at Alienware.com,. Next gen gaming is built with Intel Core i9 processors.

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No long-term commitments or contracts, just go to stamps.com, click the microphone to the top of the page and enter code Rooster. We need to talk about how we might find out that aliens exist. They do. Oh no, they absolutely. We're Florida. We found our way to go. Just in the future already. Yeah, but because of the telescope, the James Webb telescope that we is now out on its

little journey. I hope we see some things. We're probably gonna see some pretty cool shit, but I heard that NASA, I don't know like how big this project is right now, or like how much funding it's been given, but NASA is essentially preparing a group of people to start workshopping ideas on how to essentially

break the news to the public that we have found to start workshopping ideas on how to essentially break the news to the public that we have found like imagery of other civilizations and other like my thing is that it's impossible for there not to be also just like is that not partially like the crumbling the foundation of religion. Just hide it. Just don't tell you so totally well I think is like I don't think that, I don't think we that's possible. Why? Like, there's because it's because the Bible only said he made the heavens and the earth. Yeah, right. In ancient Greek, like, at scientists who saw penguins doing fucked up things in Antarctica. So that only educate like only super educated people can understand. Yeah. Wait, what about what? What did these penguins do? So I talked about this a few months ago in the pod. Chris needs to know about the penguin. Yeah.

When researchers and people first started exploring Antarctica, they were horrified at the awful things they saw penguins doing. And they didn't think the rest of the world was ready for it. So they wrote about it in ancient Greek, so that only people in academic circles could read about it and understand. What were the penguins doing?

Like a necrophilia. Like, like like yeah no yeah they do they still do that yeah they do like this stuff penguins yeah I mean animals are pretty you would love necrophilia a lot really do I think more than most animals it's apparently it's off the wall they have to write about it in ancient Greek to avoid crisp finding out about it sorry Chris works with the rest of the reading but yeah I don't think I mean we can't even if the Chris finding out about it. Sorry Chris. We're through it. So this is really amazing. But yeah, I don't think, I mean, we can't even, if the last years have taught me anything,

we're definitely not ready for that. We're not ready to say to contact. You could publish it. People won't believe it. People still don't believe dinosaurs existed. Yeah. So are you telling them? Also, I don't think as a race, we can't comprehend things

that are carbon-based life forms either. It's always the thing that drives me crazy about aliens in movies. It's like they all always are vaguely humanoid in shape. Right? They always have two legs, two arms, they got a head. I'm really just fucked up, shit. Yeah, it's like, no, we got to see some really fucked up stuff that we don't understand.

Absolutely. Like in a rival. A rival, I was just saying. It was really interesting the way they did their aliens. Yeah. I can't remember was really interesting the way they did their aliens. Yeah, is they I can't remember they like Watched like it's really the way like water float or something was like not not it didn't move in the way that but even then It's something that we're not gonna be able to comprehend yeah like like like angels in the Bible Well, I thought you say angels in the on Genesis Evangelion

The angels in the Bible. Well, I thought you say angels in the on Genesis Evangelion. Yeah, a lot of angels to choose from yeah, but biblical angels fucked up Love to see one one day. I just like what about these angels? You know, I do people fat to happen our lifetime now. Yeah, angels No, like it is discovering other life If you've ever read like a biblical description of an angel No, it's like keep pulling. I'm looking up before. Sorry, I focus more on hell in my study.

Okay, so there's a reason why every time an angel shows up, they say, be not afraid because they're just like this. It's like, it's like a massive like fire and eyes and wind and dirt and like spheres and like, gee, and like you can't. That's why when they like, gee, and like, you can't. That's why when they show up, they're like, be not afraid. So should I be a fan of when Trevor goes, you look like an angel. Yeah.

Yeah. Thank you. Elder Tore. That explains the, and the finale of, of good morning from Hell, spoiler. Yeah. It, we go to heaven. And there's an Andrew was playing an angel and he's making jokes and he's like, I was just

looking to my 5,000 five of the eyes. Yeah. Yeah. That's why we paint them as like humans with wings because otherwise it just be like, I don't want to do this religion. Yeah, this is scary. I don't want to, you tell me is full of these guys. Um, man, this is scary. I don't want to you telling me is full of these guys. Man, this is the good place. I'm like, what's what's the, what they got in the other place? They're like, oh, what's

that? But they're also torturing you and it's like, oh, okay. That's a weird thing to think about angels. Like, what do we become angels when we die? No. No. It also is in the, not in the Bible that we go to heaven. That's another thing. Wait, really? What? Everyone kind of, what everyone is doing.

No, so if you read the Bible, what happens is when you die, you're in purgatory essentially until the end days of revelations in which all everyone comes back to earth. Well, earth becomes like a fiery cesspit for a while. But then Jesus comes back, takes the reins and then all the people who who who died who were good, you get to come back to live on this fiery planet. No, to live on like the redeemed version of earth. I think that's what it is. Yeah. But if you're Mormon, you get your own play that when you die, which is cool. If you're good, we don't believe in You know what the livens don't do

What they don't sell themselves by what you get when you want Yeah, when you win, well if you win. Yeah, but hey After this religion and when you die, here's the afterlife Oh, no one person's ever gone to heaven in the Bible and he didn't even die He wrote a flaming chariot up to heaven. Who was it? Oh, it was um, what's his name? Samuel like I don't know. It was like a what's his name? Was it Abraham's favorite son? Yeah, Joe

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Joe. I think one of those bill. Yeah, one of those guys. I'm just I'm just saying kind of like biblical names. Yeah. Yeah. I would Sunday school. Yeah. So many years. So I have fun Bible facts. I'm like, when you're gay, you read the whole Bible three times, just a triple check that you're going to hell.

But also, I would tell Lutheran school up and call it third grade. The isn't it in the Bible. It talks about essentially pedophilia and people have interpreted as homophobic. Well, that's not even the thing. Okay, so most of the homophobic stuff in the Bible is misinterpreted in a way that you can't even describe because there was no word for homosexuality and the original translation. And also homosexuality as a sin doesn't turn up until like a King's James version of the Bible that was released in like the 30s or 40s.

Because before that, it also, the main time you see it, it's they're just saying don't do it like on high holy days or like in the church. She's also a lot of animal species that have homosexuality. Yeah, in this piece. Yeah, it's not like, yeah, somehow for humans, it's, well, it's not yeah, somehow for humans. It's well It based our morality based off pink.

Apparently in chat fluffy Joe said the Bible sounds metal as fuck. Oh the okay Here's my thing is metal. My thing is here's my thing again I've read the Bible so many times eight the Bible is metal as fuck beat as shit. And see, Jesus is a cool motherfucker. And it's just like I feel like Canon Jesus is so much better than fan in Jesus. Canon Jesus is just like I think taxpayers should tax tax was it. Taxers who are the people that tax you? Uh, if he's like, I think tax collectors should die. And I also think that rich people shouldn't go to heaven. And that's just what I believe. And don't charge interest on money.

I don't know. He's just like, anyway, I'm hanging out with these horrors. I'm going to bring back this guy's homosexual concubine and that died because he's a real sad about it. So what you're saying is if Jesus was alive, that he'd be a raging liberal. Christians would hate Jesus if he was alive. Jesus literally resurrects the gay lover of a Roman soldier

because he's so sad about it. Jesus literally resurrects the gay lover of a Roman soldier because he's so sad about it. Jesus is a bitch slapped a preacher today. I'm just saying the Bible's real cool if he like don't go to church. It's what you're not all. It's also like one of those things like you talked about a translation, you know, based on the book from the 30s or 40s. It's like unless you know these ancient languages it was written in, you can like do your own translation. Like things are going to get changed a lot. Wait, like what you're reading now is probably a translation of a translation of a translation of some kind.

It's like playing the telephone game. It's like, yeah, stuff's going to get. King James Version of the Bible is literally a game of telephone in which one guy who translated it went I think Gays are icky and I feel like he probably just got his heart broken by some guy And I was like I don't think anyone should be gay because it made me cry one time That's my own personally, but it's literally just like one dude was just like I think this word should be homosexual Do you guys agree? Everyone's like share one on yeah. But before that, it literally was just like,

it was just like, I'm pretty sure it just had to do with either some sort of like infidelity or like choosing like a concubine over like a family. And that's why I think one part in particular where they talk about a man laying with a boy and yeah, that was wrong. But that's wrong. It was about pedophilia and not homosexuality. Right. And so it's been obviously like many things misinterpreted and used to essentially further certain agendas

of people's personal. And everybody focuses on that. But what they don't focus on is the three lines around it, which are like, don't eat shellfish. If your brother dies, you have to marry his wife. And if you're on your period, you're not allowed to temple. Wow.

In chat, who is this Shayka baby says, I need a series of Caleb breaking down the Bible now. I will absolutely do that. That should be your new podcast. Well, I do have a new podcast coming. I can do a Bible episode. You shut. That's a part of the Bible.

It's stupid. I know hardly anything. So I will, I will listen to that episode. And you know what, those who I'm sorry, last thing, there's a other thing that happened with the, with the dude and his daughters and the angels. What? You're going to have to be more. So there's, so these two, so people think saw them and Gamora got collapsed

because of the gay sex they were having the side. But they actually were destroyed because they weren't hospitable to outsiders, you know, like a country that we may or may not live in. So these people came to this city and they weren't from around these parts. And they were like, get the fuck out of here. We hate you. If we see you here, we'll kill you. Anyone can go back to having gay sex unrelated. And they were angels in human form. And then I've been able to write their flaming out his face. Yeah, so they were human form.

I think it's like, Saul or some shit, I don't know. So he's like, whoa, hey, you can say it with me. And then an angry mob finds out that he's like housing them. And he's like, oh, this is good trigger warning. He's like, bring those two guys out. We're gonna like murder and rape them essentially. And he's like, whoa, that's not hospitable. I'm gonna keep these guys,

but you can take my daughters instead. Oh my God. And God is like, see, that's how you do hospitality. I'm gonna burn the city down, but not you and your family. You can stay. And let your daughters be fucking in trouble. Well, I mean, no, they got saved,

well, they got saved initially. But yeah, I think that's the thing that's the pillar assault guy. Yeah, he's done. No, it was his wife Ruth, right? Who turned back and She turned back, but the daughters at the end of the day were five. So it's funny. You bring this up. I read this article last year and I have never had an opportunity to bring it up in the podcast until now for some reason. I read a story about an ancient city in what's current day Jordan. Okay. That is speculated to have been destroyed by a meteorite that burst over it in the air. And they say that that might be the origin of the story of Sodom and Gomorrah in the Bible. It was a meteor. Right. It was a meteor that blew up in the sky. They said that it leveled the city. The city was called that makes so much more sense. El Haman, which was home to, I think it said, 8,000 people. And I said that the meteor or an asteroid blew up, created a fireball

that wrote that caused the temperature on the ground to get to 3600 degrees and caused a shockwave that went over 700 miles an hour out from it. And that's it's like from their perspective it's like you know a heavenly body smiting a city from the sky. Yeah because you don't know what else also someone in the chat fixed it is the story of Lot and the King James translation from pedophilia of homosexuality was a German guy in 1942, Germany doing a lot of cool things in the history. That was an interesting time for Germany, huh?

We're in a real interesting time. We're all shaking and moving on. A lot of people in 1940's Germany were not very accepting. Which is fucked up because, again, pre-Ymark Germany was like the Harlem Renaissance happening, but like in like the earlier like late 1800s, early 1900s, where they literally were one of the most progressive societies in terms of like accepting like gay people and like other religions and like everything. Like that was the place to be. And then you know, we all know what happened post-YMAR. But uh,

in Germany, fuck. So something I think think about historical events where I'm like, if it had just gone the other way, we have flying cars now. I just, man, if the glass night didn't happen, would we just have perfect society? I watched the Eternals the other day. And there's one of the characters who has the power to essentially make people think whatever he wants them to think or do whatever he wants them to do essentially.

And I was thinking legitimately, I was like, I wonder if that, let's say someone had that power in real life. And they just made everyone in the world think the same thing or like that you don't want to fight each other, like just accept each other and live peacefully. Like what the world would actually be like. Like there still be crime.

Would there still be? Yeah. Like I think he was right. But there'd be no free will. No, but like only those like bigger thoughts, like respect everyone and love everyone and like let people live their life happily and happy. Just take out the bad.

Yeah, but essentially, there's everything else. Yeah, like just that kind of mentality, like if every single person felt that way and felt that way, what it would be good. I would think so, but it's like, are there other things? Everybody wants free will.

Listen, we live in a free will individualistic society right now and look where that's cut. That's right. I watched the eternal recently too. They came out on Disney Plus last week, the week before. Yeah. I love being able to watch movies like that pretty quickly at home. I felt like they tried to jam too much into one movie.

That was my one complaint. It's a long movie term. Yeah, thousands of years. And it was hard to learn all the characters and then to care about them too You know what they did have time for though that way too long sex scene. Oh, yeah, that was I hated that I saw the movie in IMAX and I was just like I've never seen a Marvel movie where it was this unchaste And I don't like this actually. Yeah, this is going on for way too long. We're sitting next to a family Oh, there's like a kid and I was like, they're fucking.

This is a much more serious thing. You're solving your parents. The worst. I can, so this wasn't necessarily a bad scene, but this was like the first time I was definitely uncomfortable watching a movie with my parents is when they rented Top Gun on VHS and there's like the sex scene with Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis.

And I must have been like 10, I don't know. I mean like, oh, I mean, feeling weird. Like, oh, I shouldn't be watching this, like, it's really weird. Like, I think I left the room to go get pop, get popcorn. I'll be right back at it. I'm gonna make some popcorn. Yeah, that's what you call it from that point on. I don't even make some popcorn.

I'm gonna make some popcorn. I want to go make some pop. I'm disgusting. Popcore turns me on now. Uh, yeah. I the first one I remember because obviously there's been many. I did some Johnny Depp movie that's good start good start again, biblical. Johnny Depp movie that's. And he's like, he's like, I don't like trying to convince you at it.

I don't know, but I think he finds a woman who's like Mary Magdalene and the, I don't know, he's like, fucks her in front of a burning church or something. I don't know, do you? It's like, I was a child and I didn't know what was going on, but my mom told me to close my eyes because like she was watching it while she did my hair.

Of course I looked and it was just like, and I was just like, well, no, they're doing. I don't like it. I feel like there's a lot of experiences. The ninth gate. Yes, that's the movie. Never heard of that. I mean, either.

That's the movie. It's a game. Okay, I mean, I love Johnny Dath. And he like, fucks like a red-haired woman or something. I remember her being very pale. Yeah, yeah. I'm so saying I remember being a man biblical and him having sex with this woman and that's all I know about that movie and my mom told me to close my eyes. I don't think it's the worst,

but the one I remember the most was seeing Titanic in theaters and I was sitting next to my dad and it's that scene where she's like comes out and she like it's the first time I ever saw boobs that weren't my mind. I was a pain customer. As a pain customer. I remember like I rewatched it over and over. I was 11 year old with the VCR. But I just remember being so embarrassed that I was next to my dad and I was like

my dad's looking at boobs that aren't my mom's. I remember being like, oh my god, they're boobs. I'd never seen boobs before. Yeah, cuz what we were like I was like 10 Yeah, I guess I would have made it cuz it came out in 90 91 no, what the fuck's wrong with 94? No 97 97 Christ. Yeah, I was a

I was like 90 we were like normally my brain like clicks to those dates pretty well I don't know what the hell it was. Three when that movie came out. I saw that. I was in Austin at the theater over at Lincoln Village. That's crazy. I saw it at the theater over in South Park Meadows, but it was in 3D bitch.

So you got to see 3D boobs. Yeah, hell yeah. Do they make those like pop out of the soap? Yeah. Oh my eye. It's cold in the moon. I think the worst thing that I ever saw in theaters was on the big screen. On the big screen.

It wasn't with my parents. I love that's what the question was. Well, I guess you asked broader sense. Broder sense is my grandmother. Okay. Okay, okay That's so much worse. So she would like take us to go see movies and I don't think it was varsity blues I don't know a whipped cream bikini How sitting next it was hot, but not with a grandmother

Which she comes out with cream bikini. I'm gonna go get changed or something like that and she comes out Are they want whipped cream on the shake and then she comes out You hear that yeah, I like you know you want right for your milkshake something like that I like hell whatever you're doing sounds like Matthew McConaughey I've never seen this movie, but I'm looking at the whipped cream bikini right now. And this would I would hate to see this with my grandmother. Oh, dear. No, they parody that not not another teen movie with Chris Evans where he has the whip cream of the banana. Yeah. Had you be that's my favorite. That's my favorite Chris Evans. I saw that and that was terrible. There was one instance that was worse that I can think of. And it wasn't theaters. At some point, you know, like,

I remember like, you making stuff content, we make a lot of like somewhat mature content. Sure. And there was some time where I was like, I was like, I, you know, I'm going home for Christmas I want to show my grandmother some stuff that I don't go. I was trying to like, I was trying to make a clean cut of stuff. Yeah. And I was like editing. I got in a bunch of content and I edited it and was like cutting out

all the curse words. It was a super cut. And like cleaning it up and in that cut was a simple walk in the mortar. But it was the extended cut and in the extended cut, which I had forgotten. You hanged on. There's a whole conversation about mean, carry, and Nick, who's in it, trying to suck her own dick. There's a whole conversation about it. It was like, how long was the conversation?

How long was the conversation? How long was the conversation? About seven minutes. Well, you know, it depends on what you're measuring. But it was like, and I remember, and because you know, it's like an hour long or something. So I I was like, I'd edited it recently. Yeah. So I knew where all the things, but I forgot about the extended cut. I forgot about that scene and What what what no, I someone in chat said the thing I was gonna say. Yeah anyway, so I and I where I was watching it with like my family Whole family and grandmother Being like oh here's some stuff because I hadn't shown anything. It's like forever

Yeah, and here's some stuff that I've been making. It's all like good, good, good. And then I'm like, oh, my I had to like, oh, you were Kevin, you're Kevin. Oh, because I can't. Uh, uh, no. And I was like, I had to leave the room and it just kept going. Why don't you fast forward or like stop it? Because my because, because one that would have been like, do you think you've been

like, no, no, playing. You're like, ha, ha. No, because I didn't realize it to was like, I didn't realize that it was like, I had forgotten to cut it until like, it was already playing, it was like mid conversation. And then I was like, what do I do? What do I do?

Like it was like, and then they didn't have a remote, they had to go through and hold it. And I just like ran. And then my sister came and she's like, I can't be in there. Yeah, Eric said it's classical order of the ring stuff, it's just like Frodo. And that was the that was the worst. I hate that for you. Yeah, because it's you it's literally me talking about trying to suck my own day. So yeah, now your whole family, those of you tried to suck your own day. Everyone has done it.

Everybody has done it. I have every got that. That was a cup. I read a great comment about this phenomenon on Reddit once. I wouldn't say sucking expert. I'd say I can't suck. Okay, but did you try to go over? Over there.

Sorry. You try to go over under. What does that mean? First try to go over. How would you go under? Under. You just might don't. I don't. I don't. I feel like I'm more flexible that way.

Wow. What the. To instead of just going like this, that seems way harder. But it's right there. Where is it? You have to. You have a spine, right? Like if you like lay down and like Oh, you mean like what the position? Yeah. Versus. Versus. I thought you were saying go like I feel like because the way versus I thought you were saying go like

I feel like because the way that you're I thought you met like I thought you met instead of one to nine o'clock you're going no I feel like the way of your body like put like you know we do like try that I haven't tried to sound like teenager so you're like I've tried for four days but you know I had some day I had something potentially that level of embarrassing happy to meet earlier today when we were at work. I sit between Kayla and Chris, Kayla sits on my

electric visits to my right and I saw on Reddit someone had posted like a steam screenshot of a game and the screenshot they posted was it was a game that was called Sex with Hitler and I was like That can't be a real game. That's that's Photoshop and I looked it up on steam and then like instantly this Super graphic video game trailer started playing. I was like I was like, whoop. I better close that what the fuck that's how I felt trying to find the clip from the screener today Oh, no, that was like that. Well, this was but in my By myself when I was trying to explain that idea for that video and I was like, oh, it's this but this I was just looking up cartoon porn Yeah, essentially because I was trying to explain it. Oh, yeah, the yeah, the yes. Yeah, yes, I

Will say this have have you all ever gone to a meeting with a laptop? Oh, look up. And you open up a laptop this is porn. No, not a, Is that the look at porn in my work laptop? Here's the deal, I went three years to this company where it's using my personal computers

in my work computer, cause I don't have a fucking work computer. I did it for 10, I think. Yeah, so it's like, I mean, I would still maybe, as I'm finishing using said porn Close it. I've never looked at porn on my work computer. No, again, there was I didn't have a work computer. Yeah, the phone though This was like you're too young for this like I used to look at porn in like the computer room when the computer had its own room I think he said we are saying that your phone was not really porn capable.

It wasn't good for looking at porn. It was just a computer. Computer you use for work or a computer given to you by work. No, it was my computer that I didn't have a work computer. Okay. It was a laptop. Okay. That's more reasonable. I thought you were using your RT issued MacBook Pro 13 inch. No, I was using only 13 inch.

I had had a computer at some point and then it got absorbed for editorial whenever I stopped Macbook Pro 13 inch. No, I was using only 13 years. I had had a computer at some point and then it got absorbed for editorial whenever I stopped editing. Okay. And then I didn't have a computer and I was like at some point I was like, I'm just, I also watch porn now. So I have one laptop. It was my personal laptop. That makes me want to be a laptop in which I had to watch porn.

I give it to you. That makes much worse. So you're, yeah, Caleb proved. I'll give it to you. But no, I So you're yeah, Kayla. I'll give it to you But no, I've never accidentally left porn It was just one of the it didn't like start It's worse. Always it's just opening up and you're like I'm gonna close it back down. I'll just take notes By hand I have no it was too many tips. I have um tried to like pull something up on my phone

And like there's something still there like pull something up on my phone and like, I'm still there. Like, not even that. It's just like, okay, I have an Android. So like, when I use Chrome, I don't know if it doesn't own iPhones, but you can now you have like tab groups. Yeah. So I have one tab group that's just like, you know,

things you enjoy. Things to go back to. It's not important. I read a lot of like, you know, comics. Yeah. And I was trying to pull up this thing. I had one of my mom to buy it for an old car. And it's like a Bluetooth thing. Oh, no.

And I, so when I opened my, my tab groups, it was just, it was just right there. Just like real like I just started playing. No, no, no, no, no. It was just like, it was just in one of the tab groups. And I can see that one of the thumbnails is like something, but I think her eyes are bad enough that she couldn't see or like she wasn't going to register. Yeah, like for me, registers immediately because I know what it was. Yeah.

I was just like close that pastry on. And then there was just like anyway, I don't know like what y'all's habits are, but like when I'm finished with a video, I close it. You're done with it, right? Yeah, I mean, I close all the tabs I might have had a bit. No, same. Because of the shame. Exactly.

And that's what the standard protocol overall be shame. I don't know why might have been like messed up clean up on aisle seven. Or just like, I don't know. Too tired. Yeah, it was. Or that fell asleep. I don't know. Too tired. Yeah, it was. Or that fell asleep. Yeah. I don't know.

And I think it's also one of the things too. Phone, yeah. Modern, like, I don't know, maybe this is me. Sure. Phone is if I'm like, well, I'm gonna get one out quick. I don't want to pull up a laptop. That's so much work. The last, I tried to watch porn.

I don't need to know these things. Yeah, but you know what? You're just sinking us. I was like, man, I used to do always open where this is what we would talk about every single time. And I would be totally cool. But for some reason, after two years of not doing that show, I'm like, I don't want to know about my friends. I'm good. I just think it's hard. This will be like, let's take my time. It's too big. I think I'll see it all. So right, so on a somewhat tangentially related. No, I'm gonna take a topic a little bit. We were filming something earlier and I had to look something up on my phone and I had like some of

you. I don't remember who it was. I had some of you around and I popped open my web browser and one of the tabs I had open could be construed as something embarrassing. I have a story behind it. That was like, I didn't like, I didn't dwell on it. I just clicked like new tab and you know, looked whatever we were looking up. And I thought, and then after we were done, I was like, I wonder if anyone saw my other tab

because I can explain what that was about. It was just a little weird. Like I saw this like last week, I think it was a few days ago, maybe last week. I saw this photo on Reddit, which was this photo that was taken in Japan in the 1890s. And it's this woman who's carrying like a bunch of charcoal. Like she's got like a bunch of charcoal strapped to her back.

And she's like walking down the road. And like her robe is just open, you know, she's working, she's hot. So like, she's got a boob hanging out. Yeah, it's sexual, it's functional. Right, and it made me start wondering, like I saw that and I thought, is that the oldest boob I've ever seen in my life? So I became curious about this photo

and I started researching it and I found out that it was from a book that this woman had written back into 1890s where it was this English woman who had spent the summer traveling through Japan and she was like the first foreigner. She had gone in like through the interior of Japan. She was like the first foreigner, a lot of these people had ever seen. And she wrote a book documenting about all of her experiences going to Japan. And apparently it's a very, so I have that open because I want to read this book.

Apparently it's a very interesting book because at the time, a lot of men went through, after her in around that time, a lot of men went through Japan and wrote about their experiences, but her book is unique because out of everyone who went, she was the only woman, she was the only writer who focused on and talked about families and the way family units operated in Japan at the time in the 1890s. I was like, what an interesting interesting book an interesting story that must be So I have a Japanese tit from 1890 as one of my Web browser

It's from the book. Yeah, so it's like yeah, okay, you can see it right there. It's like one of the tabs. It's open You wouldn't be able to know that's open. Oh, but that's like barely. And that's so small, so you wouldn't be able to know. That's all black and white. Oh, it's all black and white. If you see it in black and white, then you're like, no, someone's reading, you're reading like a, like a wired article or something. Yeah, no one, no one, no one thinks you're joking it to that. Yeah, I mean, people, Jack, into weird stuff, I don't think anyone jerks the black and

white. I guarantee you someone jerks it. Someone's, someone's into that. You know what? I had a weird thought. I had a weird thought. Should should we talk about in the post-show or you want to talk about? Oh Let's talk about in the post-show. All right, so we thought Okay, well first first get you can get your TX tickets now for RTX this summer We have a early bird pricing through February 14th. Yes, and first members, you only have until I believe one day to get tickets. So after that, everyone, it's free game.

So get the tickets you want before other people start buying them. And also tune into the post show once it's up on Tuesday to find out what Chris is about to say to us what Chris's story. I didn't say it in the moment because that's also you'll hear me talk about flying a plane because I didn't get a chance to talk about that Oh, yeah, I'll talk about that in the post so low. All right. Well, thanks for watching everybody. We'll see you guys next week Bye . Do you like apples? Alright, example. Together in Trempathos, Characombs, Characombs are free of Dia's of nothing to do with this

podcast. Analyze various unsolved and rooster teeth's cryptic podcast F**k face. Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise specific but short. Listen to show name on Apple Spotify or wherever you get podcasts. It's f**k face, a podcast. Subscribe or no. You do yes? You do yes?