Rooster Teeth Podcast - Rooster Teeth Podcast #110

Episode Date: April 20, 2011

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It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers, Will Arnett and Anthony Mackie comes the new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motormouth outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland. If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church.

Twisted metal, streaming now, only on Peacock! You're listening to the audio-only portion of a junk tank video podcast. To get the full experience and watch a video podcast, visit roosterteeth.com slash podcast. You're listening to the prank. No, no, no, talking about? Of course I'm talking about the God's hand. It was my loan, good. The shine of the universe below that. Attacking the horse, having to blow this thing. All I have to do is take my clothes off and get international. So, these are just fucking the cunts.

I don't want to get that. So with these on Fucking punch We got red versus blue baby brought to you by Hoover I ask you I literally ask I said before we started I said Jeff are you doing the intro? I think you as Gus and you go yeah like that I'm really staring at you I hope you guys are recording that before we started You asked you asked you asked you and you said and you were like shut up I wasn't talking to you at all. Well, we probably just didn't have the intro from the corner. Because you want to give us the intro? Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Rishniti Drunk Tank video podcast.

I'm Gus Serella, sitting in the corner, filling in for Brandon Farminghini today. I guess I'm doing the intros. How's everyone doing? Why don't you guys introduce yourselves? Who do we got over here? We got our regular stable of characters. I'm Bernie Burns. I'm Jeff Ramsay. I'm Jack Patillo. I'm Griffin Ramsay. So So exactly why I didn't want you to sit at already. I already regret sitting over here. I know it's a terrible idea. We

We didn't have Brandon and I he Brandon does a lot over here, and I thought I'll fill in for him I'll sit in because it's a lot to explain to someone and Things fall apart. The wheels fall off instantly. Yeah. You're the guy. You're the guy who keeps his rolling. You're the robbers. I'm going to do it from over here now. Yeah, I'm robbing for this week. You're the Fred Norris.

We also should have gone on me because I realized about two seconds before we started. How many podcasts have we done on videos? This will be our third video podcast. So this will be the second time I've worn this shirt. I wore this shirt either in the last video podcast or in the first one. Well, you wear that shirt four days out of the week.

No, it's going to happen. You know how that's going to be? We were, you wear that shirt four days out of the week. No, it's gonna happen. You know how to say that? We were gonna think that. He just has four of them. Well, if anyone thinks it's true, we wear it every day. Although I would be like, I would be like a comic book character or a cartoon character where I would wear the same outfit

every single day if I could. But like a uniform? My wife won't let me do that. I become very more like conscious of that. Like since we do IW every week, I find myself wearing, I like I wash my clothes the weekend so I end up wearing the same stuff So I have to like make an honest point to like go and pick out a different shirt like I'm pretty sure I've worn this on I will do you have a schedule like wore this on Monday actually I have my closet split where like when I wash my clothes I put them on the right and I keep working the left to the right and then I switch back over

Well that's kind of thing that, I don't think anyone in that's watching, we would notice that because I go to movies with my wife and she notices where people wear in every single scene, like she'll even say, they must have filmed this on the same day, this other thing because they're all wearing the same clothes. You notice what people are wearing? Do you notice that when you're... Sometimes, yeah.

You notice that if somebody watched a bunch of all these back-to-back, they would notice. Nobody can do that, though. No, no, no, that's the thing about you. YouTube comment or someone will spot it and then then call it out Then everyone else will call it out. It's always like that one guy. He was like, you know the beginning of it If you know, I was also gonna say that Jack is running some shirt like that guy. Yeah, yeah, like I totally saw that He always does that stupid. I was gonna post that That works

Well, that's a weird phenomenon that happens on YouTube comments in general in that you'll have, what's a fair amount of comments on YouTube for one of our videos? It's not a thousand. Yeah, and then sometimes we have like three or four thousand on some of them. But there'll be maybe just a tiniest problem with the video, right?

Like an immersion, maybe we had like some cut that didn't match or something like that, because we were bridging time. There were no problems in immersion. Their intentional editing decisions. There you go. That's the word of the features. They're called features. Exactly.

I was in the attributes. But the, so what'll happen is you'll have a 500, 600 comments of people commenting on the video. And then in the middle of all that, all of us and you'll have one guy who says, oh, I noticed that 139 that Gus appears in the background. And then the rest of the comments are all about how, oh, I see Gus appears in the background. Suddenly, suddenly everybody sees it. One guy sees it. Then everybody sees it. But how else would that work? Give me how else would that work?

Like, if somebody sees it, that the first person is always going to seem like, I just don't understand your reasoning. What I'm saying is everyone's super observant after the first guy did it. So like it'd be hundreds and hundreds of comments and then one guy notices and then suddenly everybody's in every way. Nice job, good mistake guys, yeah. It's so obvious.

That's how I went through high school. Like literally like anytime they were so like, what's the answer and like someone go, it's a pi squared and I'd go, I was also gonna say, did you really do that? I did every day. Did you ever get busted for that like day? No, I did it to be say this on the five-star. Did you really do that? I did every day. Did you ever get busted for that? No, I did it to be funny.

Like the first guy raised hand and you raised her hand, his hand. No, I never happened to me. I think I had to go to the bathroom. I was like, Gary to go. No, I didn't make my hand first. Something about your style of humor, like, the more you do it, you think the funnier it gets.

To me, yeah. Yeah, no, it's true. You definitely make yourself laugh kind of funny. Oh, yeah. What, like, I can vouch for that. I'm not saying anything bad, but like, yeah. No, it's true. You definitely make yourself laugh kind of funny. Oh, yeah. What like I can vouch for that? I'm not saying anything bad, but like you're new thing lately, it's a revival of an old thing you used to do, where every time you see a cute girl, by your like, hey, what's that? Every single girl. I do. So what's wrong with that? No, I'm just noticing it. It's coming back. It's back into the rotation. It's something you used to do. Are they doing again? That's a specific

methodology of interfacing with women. That I think is a good one which is just Big net shot. Yeah, should you be throwing a net though? I mean isn't that the whole it's important to have contingency plans I think we're gonna be together forever, but who knows what's gonna happen? I don't know You could go crazy tomorrow But I have to I have a void to fill. And if I was up a couple of ladies, you never know. How long have you guys been married? Six years.

Five or six years. But you were an active social male where you were married. For what? Yeah, we were supposed to a strip club. Yeah, that's a team name. How long was I single between marriages? Wait, an actual membership? Guess got in one. they used to go like

We really don't gues why are you on the podcast don't fuck a drug Nistana about that sweetheart when I got separated from I Gus got us gold members ships to that strip club and that was awesome We went for a week and then I met you you. And then I got married. True story. Yeah. So how long did it take for that to pay itself back, essentially, before you break even another?

You get a card that just punched when you, in the last, you think, no, it's like a card kind of, yeah. OK. I'm going to go in, yeah, and then you've got to buy six package strippers. You can't get anything less than that. That's why I had to get him the membership, I can't use six strippers by myself. Yeah. You only have one left.

Yeah. It's not fair to the girls. I'm just trying to help the economy. That seems like a way of spending money to indicate that you're a guy who's going to spend even more money. It's like animals in the wild that will tag themselves. You get identified for the researchers. Isn't that what it is?

I mean, what do you get for a membership in a strip club? I'm going to ask Jeff. Sure. On the podcast, you stay back there with your board, Mr. Brain Insurrogate. what do you get for a membership in a strip? I'm gonna ask Jeff. Okay. You're on the podcast. You stay back there with your board, Mr Brain and Surrogate. What do you get for a membership to a strip club? You get to go in the VIP area? Well, this already sounds exciting and That's what happens in the VIP area. Nothing you just sit in a different chair than the other people But that chair cost a lot of money cost a lot of money I'm not guys sitting in that chair. I'll tell you what the best part about it is. The real secret, what's that?

You get to use a bathroom that only like two other people use. That's true. Nice. The bathroom at a strip club might be the grossest thing in the world. You get like a toilet with an entrance fee. Yeah. It's also known as the cocaine bathroom. It's pretty full usually.

You got to kind of wait around for people to do their bullshit. But it's clean. But yeah,'s a magnet. There's mirrors everywhere You know, I've been to a strip call a few times in my life The using the bathroom was never unmajored part of the evening Like I had to go in there and use the bathroom and think I'm gonna spend how much you spend on it Can I ask how much you spent on a membership? It was a long time ago. I remember how much it was. You want to adjust for a relationship? Do you care?

You're not okay. It was like 500 bucks at all. Oh, really? I like time membership. Were you mad when he was a year? Were you mad when he immediately got into a new relationship? Not a care. Do that money down the toilet.

The president, he didn't do what he wants. He didn't slow him down. But I'll tell him he was like, hey, baby, what's up? I was like, where did that game buy? I don't want to get back to it. Since we were talking about each other's appearances. Can we talk about Gus' hair for a minute? Uh-oh, go ahead.

You got like the 90s wave thing happening. It's really. 90s. Yeah, late 80s, man. Late 80s and 90s. Like, post-flocacy goals. She's in a red. Where's your OP shirt?

It's being washed. I'm going to wear my hyper-color tomorrow. Oh my god. Can you still get hyper-color? Because I loved that. I don't think you need a hyper hyper color anymore. I think the technology had a half life to it So even the shirts if they're on eBay, they're probably like all stuck in one color at this point Yeah, I'm gonna tell you the worst part about hyper color The worst part about hyper color was when a dude with sweaty armpits wore it. Yeah

Then like his his pants were just like massively discolored like bright pink. Yeah It's just like so-called attention to it. I'm not gonna go into, but we have you guys were making fun of the exercise equipment the jack and I built Yeah, that's in the staging area. Yeah They said it sits there unused I don't know how long every single day I watch yeah, I watch jack to a pull up on Friday He's working towards something one day. He'll get the two pups. No, have you done a pull up? Can you do a pull up? I can do a pull up. I'll do it right now. I know how everything here looks like. Oh, okay.

No, I think Jeff is actually the leader right now in pull-ups. I do it constantly. I do five at a time now. Okay. So why do you do five pull-ups? Well, you were one of the ones making fun of the exercise equipment out there,

but you were actually using it. Yeah. This doesn't mean I can't make fun of you. I feel to understand your logic here. Anyway, so we're having a contest at the office where in I think three months we're going to see who can watch 15th, right? Yeah, who's going to do the most pull ups who can do the most push ups? And then who can we decide on two and a half miles? No, no, we're doing two, we're doing two miles. We're not doing

two and a half. Well, it was 10 laps. That last half a kill you. Which but so it's just two now, two miles, eight laps. Makes sense. Makes sense. Right. It's what you got to do in the army. Who runs two and a half? Mosses. It's a show off. So like, oh, yeah, you're stopping now. I can do another half. Did you, Jeff, did you read their changing the army PT test? I did. I did. What are they doing now? They're doing, I don't know the specifics, but they're, they're trying to modify it so that it will display stamina in the field, I guess. And so they're doing stuff like carrying potato sacks and shit, right? Or like...

Yeah, they're doing a thing where they realize that soldiers don't... They don't march the way that they rise to, and they don't, you know, run for six miles at a time, so... They're modifying it, so it's sprints. It almost sounds like a video game, honestly, because what they do is they do cover to cover like wind sprints kind of a thing or what you do it in basketball where you started the goal line, you run 10 yards, pick up a sack, bring it back, then you run out, spring out 20 yards, pick up a sack, bring it back, then 30 yards pick up a sack and bring it back. That used to be called Mondays. Yeah, that's what we did. Yeah.

Is that windsprints? There's another word for that in basketball where you like you start at one line you touch every line That's right and you get progressively further and further I was never a big basket. I don't know what we call them We had something similar, but we did a racer's like in elementary school over the line You have to run and grab the eraser and run back No, we never did was your teacher standing behind you threatening to kill you Never had our but had our outfits adjusted or anything like that. Probably different than the army I guess.

Firing ammo over the top of your neck. Live fire. One of the called, like, Showed-A-Run? Is that what you call a Souther Run? Is that what you call a Souther Run? Yeah, look who's got to be in it. I'm gonna be in it. You fit this genius.

Look at me, hands free. Yeah, right. So you actually went through a live fire exercise in military, right? Were they firing over your head? Yeah. How far over your head were you thinking, were they shooting when I was doing it, it felt like about six inches, but it was probably a good 10 feet, I would think.

Fuck that. You think they were really using live ammo, were they like tracers in me now, and that kind of thing? No, I saw tracers too. Yeah, I know those live ammo. Wow. It doesn't feel like preparing you for real war.

Do people die that way? I guess it makes sense. Do people die? Yeah. I would be pretty hard to die. Like most of the time you're under barbed wire. So it would be hard to get up above the barbed wire without some extreme pain to yourself.

Someone didn't start to troopers. Sure. Fire test. Oh, yeah. It happens. I mean, we have this thing called, they have this thing in the army called the National Training Center in T.C.,

which is in Fort Irwin, California, which is kind of like by Vegas. It's a by Barstow. And you go out there for a month at a time, twice a year, and do desert warfare training, and two people die every single time. You go out there. That would really suck. It's like you sign up and you're like already nervous because you're going to war or whatever, and then you die in training. That would be the worst. They always die in dumb ways too. Like, they have this road. I think about the call up, it's this long road. You have to drive that night using night vision goggles because you have to practice light discipline.

And it's just always truck running into each other. No, these people are falling asleep or not paying attention. Or they're driving in the dark and the light is out of their driving the lights. That can also be a problem. But how many people go out for this train would you say? 10,000? Yeah, 10,000. So two people out of 10,000, I mean, that's the big thing too is when they have casualties over in you know

the armies over there in Iraq or in Afghanistan and they have I don't know how many people they have there But they have tens of thousands of people there people are just gonna die just from normal stuff like falling off a ladder or Reckon a Humvee, you know or or people die, you know, they just die in actions normally and that's part of the casualty rate That's over there. I guess that's true. I mean, anytime you get a group of young people together, there's usually some kind of a tragic death. Like big group things, you know, like spring break or whatever, you know, young people just do dumb shit. It's basically going to be high school, right? But then you give everyone in the high school a gun in a humvee. It's like, you're going to have something that goes wrong. And those guys are all,

you know, those guys are about that age too. And they're all army guys. They're gonna, no offense, they're gonna do dumb stuff because it's just the mentality. They're gonna see like, hey, let's see how high we can jump the Humvee off the sand. Let's do some Humvee jasting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's one of the things I have two boys.

And I'm scared to death about all the dumb shit I did in life where I didn't die, but I probably should have. And I, yeah, no, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, in life where I didn't die but I probably should have. Yeah, no, I hitchhiked when I was in my teens. Really? And I would never let Millie do that even though I'm proud that I did it. You know, like it's a happy time. By these survive?

Yeah. No, I don't know. I like the stories and I like that I did it. Tell us a hitchhiking story. Well, I only had one scary experience. I was hitchhiking down from Portland to you. No, just from like Kerala to Eugene, it was just like a 45 minute drive and I did it one scary experience. I was hitchhiking down from Portland to you. No, just from like Corvallis to Eugene, it was just like a 45 minute drive.

And I did it all the time. I got picked up. This is Oregon. Yeah, in Oregon. I got picked up by a guy who was on his way to California for like a little vacation. And so he like immediately relaxed and started smoking a joint in the car,

which I didn't have a problem with, but I didn't accept, like he offered it. And I was like, no, because I wanted to keep my head together. Right. And then like right, I told him what exit I needed to exit at, like, in Eugene, and he skipped it. And he started asking me if I wanted to call California with him. And I was like, no, I don't want to go to California.

Just drop me off here. So what part of California was he going to? He was, uh, I was like Northern California. I don't remember what, what town. So he's just driving down the road, misses your exit, or your city. Yeah, but then I could tell he got really nervous because I got nervous and he started

getting like, pissy, you know, like, like, I don't know if he meant to miss the exit or not, but it really freaked me out because it was the first time anything like that had happened to me, like it had been pretty straightforward up to that point. And so eventually he'd drop me, like he dropped me off at some exit, I had to walk like 10 miles back to my house whenever it sucked. Oh really? Yeah. I thought there was a guy that actually showed you tits.

Yeah, but he was, he was alright. Oh, okay. He was a no, but he was a thing. Everything in context. He was a tracker. He drummed me from Portland to Eugene. And he was just obviously very lonely. Like, trackers get pretty lonely. And like, he was nice to me.

He told me all these tracker stories, but all his stories were what person he saw naked at, what mile marker. And he remembered every nude incident by the mile marker. What mile marker were you? I don't know. I don't know, but it was really interesting. The only one guy out of all the time you hitchhiked ever asked to see anything?

Yeah. One, really? And he didn't actually, and I wasn't freaked out because of the context. Why is that weird guess? I feel like it would happen more often. Yeah. The more, more often than that, you get guys who think

you're a curing pot and they want to buy it from you. They pick you up, pick up hitchhikers because they think you have drugs. Really? And then they find that you don't have any and they drop you off early. OK. They pick up pitch-up hackers because they think you have drugs. And then they find it you don't have any, and they drop you off early. Oh, yeah. OK.

Yeah. So that was what I got more. And then there were some rides I turned down because it looked like a scary situation. I got a bunch of like a truck full of like six guys. And there was no room for me to sit. And they were all going to pick me up. I'm like, I'm not getting into a car with like, again,

you know, like, the last floor party. Yeah. So I turn that right down plus I mean there's no way to sit but I mean it was usually just of what vibe I got but I wouldn't condone doing that if you're young don't do it. What if the six guys were muscular dudes, small animals? Can I tell you just firemen with bunnies? I guess I pre-ordered that because it's a 2012 calendar it's not gonna get here until like June and then I can't use it until January. Yeah, you would

use it. No, I just like can't get'm going to be looking at you know January forever. Yeah, because that's why you buy the these cake calendar is for the date. Well, I need to feel I need to feel that I live either there's a New York Firefighters and then there's like a cowboy one. So I'm deciding for 2011 just to finish out the year. So let me know if you guys have an opinion. Does it know is it like is it like guy's calendar where they try to match the date and the month by what the person in the photo is doing like in winter is

the guy in the snow and I don't think so because they all have their shirts off. So I don't know if there's like a winter appropriate one. Yeah well in the guy's calendars the girls have their clothes off too but yet somehow they're still wearing a Santa. Next to the mystery or something. I don't know I'll have to take a look with a light kitten. Well, there's not a lot you can do with the cowboy outfit, right? The way he's thinking I'm writing a lot of donut stuff right now for red versus blue My mind just really went off and I can't change it. It's really hard to find hot guy photos that aren't just gay porn like it's hard to find something to market to women like it's all guys holding their You don't watch the drunk tank right here no gay porn here

I'm gonna pull my journal and everyone can help me decide between five writers and Cowboys listen We're skipping a major thing here. You said the guy asked you to flash him. Did you flash him? No, I didn't what we're so and I Got you like the guy you said he was lonely and you fell bad from so you're okay with him asking, but that was off the table You know it's weird to because I like that was when I lived in Eugene and I was naked all the time I don't know I guess I just it's a good thing to set the policy when you're pitch-riking not to flash You probably just wanted to come up naturally Not even a good but even a good my I should you know I actually kind of feel guilty about it now. You don't be like 500 miles

I'm living in a naked house at the time. I know. I don't know why I got all picky at that moment. I bet twice a week that guy drives by mile marker one thirty four and go he's just like I was so close. When they got away. He even said he was like even though I was like you know you really saw many miles I just drove you right. Yeah. How many miles did he drive you? I don't know whatever. Portland to you. Genus. So that was his second cell effort was. He was so nice to you and I released I should have flashed him I feel bad the second effort was I think about all the people I I did flash who probably who didn't drive me anywhere. Yeah, it's true

Shame I get something for you every time she talks our topic list goes out the window I make notes here and then it's like I'm done on that note. We actually probably have to take a break real fast So here's a drug-tank animated adventure and we'll be right back. Why don't you and the future why don't you signal me and then I'll do those two. I was with a guy when he got struck by lightning. My friends and I were driving from Alabama to New Orleans and it started raining. Lightning actually struck near my car and we were like, ah, we like swerved. I lost control of my car and I drove it into a ditch and all my friends and I get out I fucking hitchhiked to a gas station and I go up and I go hey

I just wrecked my car I need to get a tow from this guy and he goes I don't go out in the rain I've had bad times and I was like I don't know what that means but seriously sorry you it's your job You've got to help me and uh he goes and he goes and he gets in his tow truck and I get in a tow truck And I go so why do you hate the bad weather so much and he goes my Sister's kid got struck by lightning at the beach and I go oh Wow, dude, I'm so sorry. It's okay, and he was like nope, and I go well You know what to say lightning never strikes twice in the same place and he goes my brother got killed by

I go oh okay, and that shut me up and then we're driving down I'm a car is gone the water took it And then we're driving down, and my car's gone. And the water took it down, and now all you can see from my car is a little bit of the roof and the antenna that had like a jack and a bottle of water. But eventually he's able to pull the car over this huge ditch. Then he goes to like move the cable

and fucking lightning strikes right there. And all the sudden I hear the guy screaming, and he's on the ground holding his arm like his right shoulder, and didn't hit him but it hit so close I guess it charged all the like all the fucking metal around it. He gets up he just looks at me like with the madest eyes ever. I'm surprised he didn't electric punch me like this. And I'm the guy just starts walking away from my car and I walk up to him and I go how much do I use

there how much do I use and he just looks at me and I'm holding my wallet out and he put his hand in my wallet and took every bit of money out of it. I just walked away with it. Alright well Gus which one did we watch so we can come back and do it? We just watched the one where I don't remember because I haven't figured it out yet. Oh okay, what a great anime. All the joint-tank animated adventures are provided by Jay or Dan on the site. You know, Rishi.com slash Jay or Dan. Do we know why he's called Jay or Dan?

I think he wanted to pick one of those user names, but he couldn't figure it out, so I can fuck it. So we're probably pronouncing it wrong. He's probably like Jay or Dan. Jay or Dan? Yeah, or something like that. Jay or. He'll be coming to town for RTX.

We can ask him for 10. There we go. Yeah, I should be still be promoing RTX if we're all sold out of tickets. I guess not. We are bad viral markers, so maybe that's the way she had it. We clearly planned that. Clearly, we planned it.

I've got video of the whole sale. I don't know if I told you that, but I shot from when we pushed it live on the site to Jeff receiving a phone call and looking very selling afterwards. Well, if you're there the whole time, fucker, why don't you shut down when we got to 200 tickets? No, no, I was like, it was Gus on this laptop monitoring the site and then Jeff was monitoring the store And I was just filming the two of them doing their work just cuz I'm like this kind of cool We should we should document this like when you film Jeff and Gusto in the very first line of dialogue for ever Says blue that was very good thinking of you. So I figured I'll get something like history on film

It's what you have it now. Okay, great. I like how you turned your defense into asking. What? I can't even explain. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Conflict you figured that out this weekend like I'm probably the most like I'm probably the most laid-back easygoing is take whatever comes person in this office And I work with you use one of the most volatile People in the office I think so I don't know What dealing with him? That's a problem or just like losing it anything like god forbid you lose a game of horse You're super laid back until you lose at x whatever x is and then you're this guy Oh, cuz you're like I don't care about it, but the one you win you absolutely care. Oh, yeah, no

Deaths full of shit. He's competitive. I don't care Whatever you know nobody deal is over it's finished but what do you deal? It's all he's just those quiet little burrs He puts in your side. It's like you two both. I don't know what it is It's like I like sitting between you I can feel the anger it's like building inside of it I love you sweetie yeah I love you too so happy see this is what they do this what they do this how they get you I think I think you're more laid back than what you outwardly appear and you're less laid back than what you have to be less laid back than you out later here because you'd be dead if you were as laid back as what you appear to be I'm pretty laid back there are out of laypeer because you'd be dead if you were as laid back as what you appear to be

I'm pretty live that there are times you can flip set like watching I mean watching you play a video game. He has a whole video of you Jeff plays video because he holds a controller like this which I don't understand first of all He's hiding behind it. Yeah, he does this and then he plays his body. He plays his body moves. He's like that You know that video took of Jeff moving like that That's nothing if you get him to play any, like if he's standing, well, he's playing especially like a boxing game. Like it's all like kicks and like, he's like dancing.

He kicks during boxing games? Yeah, I don't know. It's like he does this weird like shuffle to the right kick. So it's like, I'm like a lady. I'm like a lady. Yeah, it is almost like line dancing. It's weird. I'm doing this thing where I at home, I only play Xbox

anymore when I'm on my treadmill And so I put a treadmill in front of a wall mounted TV and I play it that way and I found that there's certain games that I can't Play on the treadmill. You're having issues with dead space, right? No, I play dead space I think I walked gosh I have the numbers at home because I can save all the numbers, but I think I walked 60 miles playing 60 or 16 60 we were playing in Halo more almost three marathons essentially We're playing Halo together the other night for three it's not the game and you walked four miles while we played Halo while we played Halo, but that's also I have to turn that way down Yeah, I usually walk three miles an hour

But if I play Halo while I'm walking I do this thing where I like I don't realize it But I start walking right as I'm turning right and I step off the side of the treadmill I'm not kidding I have severely busted my ass doing that to the point where I like fell down it was like a break video where I'm on my back and the treadmill throws me off the back of the treadmill you usually sit you sit up the camera the control in case why would I set up a camera to record that because you put up videos of you falling when you were playing that skate game or I put that video up oh record that? I did because you put up videos of you falling when you were playing that skate game. Well, I put that video up.

Oh, I was feeling that was going to happen though. We had a wood floor and a slick skateboard. Like someone's, someone's going to eat shit. I better film this. Yeah, it was really, I was really disappointed when that game failed. I felt so terrible. You know, there's no Tony Hawk in this year.

For the first time in 12 years or something? Yeah, some were ridiculous. But Tony Hawk leaked that they're working on a new one. Imagine that big surprise. But you think Tony Hawk will eventually become like Madden, where people don't know Understand quite his association with the uh, I can see that. I can definitely see that. I don't know.

He retired from participating like seven years ago. But who does it know? But he made it what it is today. I mean, you could argue that who doesn't know who Madness? Yeah. I bet you tons of kids don't know who Madness is. Well, he also just retired. Yeah. Yeah. But you know, in a couple of years, you're going to wonder, do't know who madness yeah I bet you tons of kids don't know him as well he also just retired yeah yeah but you know a couple of years you're gonna wonder do you know who John madness really see

see she absolutely knows he's the guy that absolutely knows but she says that do you really know what's your fucking problem you really have issues with you know yeah yeah all right we'll talk about the rams talk about it after talk about it now yeah I don't know it's actually talk go. Do you have any concept like what sport is mad at? It's football because I played the game. OK. I'm sorry, right? You're right.

Yeah, but how is he related to football? Like is he a coach or a player or something? Why would I know? I don't watch football. OK. You don't know. I'm angry that you seem that I would know. I think it's a ball, Sam.

What is John Madden's relation to football? I don't even think I know enough positions to tell you. Let's, you said coach first, but were you trying to throw me? No, I just don't want to have different things he could have done. Could have been a quarterback, could have been a towel boy. I'm going to say quarterback because I recognize that. Actually, I don't know what John Madden ever played. I don't assume you didn't. What do you, where do you, where do you play? I forget where he played, but he played, then don't assume you didn't. You didn't play. Where do you play?

I forget where he played, but he played, then he coached, and he commented. Was he a quarterback? He was best known as a commentator, but he was the coach of the Raiders if I'm not mistaken. That sounds right. Yeah, I can look him up. He was the coach of the Raiders.

He was best known as a commentator. God, it's nice he gets something right on the John King podcast we want for a great sake. But I have a desk upstairs. You guys, you were talking last week about technology and desks. You know, if you want a cool desk, you can always take one of the geek desks that we bought from Monty or Matt that they

have both been too lazy to put up. Oh, we have an extra one. We have two extra ones. I was sitting in the studio. It's funny you mentioned that because after we talked about the heart attack risk from sitting down all day, I thought, maybe I should just get a geek desk so I can just stand up. You said that somebody got ahold of you and said they could build you something custom.

Someone did after I mentioned the podcast, someone who makes custom cabinetry offer to make a desk precisely to my spec, whatever I wanted. But I feel bad because I feel like that's a lot of work for someone to donate. If you do use the geek desk, it's just the base. So you just need a tabletop that has that kind of stuff in it, which may not be that difficult. So especially if you're paying for materials You know the penny arcade guys have that entire conference table that has that wood inlay in it that they got I think from the guys who make those gaming tables You know and they didn't bad in eyelashes. I've taken that thing for free and that we can do that So why should you worry about that? I'm not a jerk, you know, I'm a nice guy

You know predatory no like a Tickles that would say You want to record random people? Yeah. But it's cool. I have a desk that actually you can raise up and down. So I consider it and then what I want to, I just stand up. And I've kind of toyed with the idea of putting the treadmill underneath that, like taking off the top rigging, and then just putting the treadmill underneath it.

But I think you guys, so I'm over your office, I think you guys would go nuts if I did that. I also think You would fall through the floor at some point. No, you don't run later. You do like one or two miles an hour We but there's also like don't they like those yoga balls? Whatever if you sit on those it's supposed to keep your core busy all day So you're like just in the movement you're keeping your core like rigid and like working your core I don't know if think I word I say the word core enough of it I've suddenly qualified like fitness coach. What is your core is your core like a specific set of muscles or is it just like a bullshit term That they came up with it by five years ago these are torso right everything in your torso so your boobs So what's your torso?

Everything that's like your limbs are nice to your butt. So it's like everything from neck to legs. I'm assuming that that's true. Because those are the muscles you work when you're working your core. If only Jack Elaine hadn't died we could ask him. So the torso is what you showed to the trucker when you went on to get away. Yeah, I'm not saying anything. That's what I'm saying. The torso, they call it the San Diego.

It's so funny that I am. But you know, like I've all the things I thought I would regret when I call it. The torsion, they call that the San Diego. It's so funny that I am, but you know, like, all the things I thought I would regret when I was older, I didn't expect regret not flashing the trucker. That's weird. So why some other things? Why is regretted? No, but I would have assumed that I would regret the things that I did choose to do.

But it's the things that you don't do. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the things that you don't do. I've got a hitchhiking regret. Sort of on the flip side of that, I was in downtown Austin one night driving home. And Leslie, who's are the famous homeless guy in Austin, always wears thongs and leopard print shirts and crazy shit like that.

Lovely man. He was hitchhiking down Congress. And I passed him and immediately regretted it. Because you know that's got to be a story. You pick up Leslie, the homeless guy. That's going to be a story wherever he wants to go. I almost turned around and got him. He was like, he's actually kind of a I don't know well spoken quiet dude. I ran from mayor

I met him once and like I was kind of it because you told me you met him Talked him and he was really intelligent with it and like you probably explain who Leslie is okay Leslie is sort of like a local legend in Austin. He ran from there. He um he's homeless, right? Yeah Oh, yeah big time. He's homeless. He always wears like thong and wear and like bikinis. bikinis and crotch. He's always wearing some crazy get up usually mostly naked. And he just hangs out like coffee shops, McSigarettes and drinks or whatever. And that's like kind of what he does. And when people see him, they go crazy. The whole thing one

takes pictures with a magnet pack you can buy for Austin that has like outfits for him that you can put on like on your fridge Yeah, it's like the whole city has adopted him and I like if you see Leslie You buy him food or you buy him drinks is at bars. I don't think the guy has ever yeah, he doesn't have money But I don't think it would matter. He's never had to pay for anything Well, it's because he was the one time I met him he walked up to me He was like so you gonna buy me a drink or what and I was like No, I did something he didn't know way that wasn't charming

And I got annoyed and I didn't want to buy him a drink and I was like the asshole who didn't buy me a drink or what? And I was like, no, I did something. He didn't know way that wasn't charming. And I got annoyed and I didn't want to buy me a drink. And I was like the asshole who didn't buy me a drink. And you didn't clap him either, did you? Yeah, I didn't even clap him. I don't see. I know how many miles I've given you so far. At least you could do this by me a drink.

I'm gonna look up Leslie and see if I can find the story behind him. Like he used to come into the tattoo parlour where I'd be getting tattooed. And you know, you'd be stuck there for like three hours. And I'd see Leslie come in to go off fuck. This is gonna be weird. But then you just like, you can't move and he's not going anywhere

So you're just forced to have conversations with him nice guy. Yeah, totally with it Didn't he get a house on Westlake or something like he was covered in mold? He lived in a house for a year and a mansion that had a mold infestation and it was being worked on and so the owner Moved out and let him live there. Wow. What's that bad for him? I don't know. Leslie cares You know what's worse for him sleeping under a tree. Yeah, probably. Leslie is an American peace activist, cross-dresser, street person, and local celebrity in Austin, Texas. He's a

critic of police treatment of the homeless. We'll go figure. But I would have picked him up for sure. I know. I wouldn't have hesitated. But I have a bad problem with that where I like to talk to homeless people and it drives the rest of you crazy. Gus is chicken set right now. I made friends with all the homeless people around. How'd that work out for you? Yeah, how did that work out?

You know what? I have no regrets. I do because every time I walked by a certain homeless person he'd say, where's your boss? He got $20 for me. I'm like, I'm the go, I'm the fucking like the go between guy now. We gotta just bring him a bag and run. No, no, no, the worst part. You're neglecting the worst part. He would come to the door. He would come to our front door of the office.

It's starting to ring the doorbell and I'd go down expecting a delivery of something like, Hey, is your boss here? Like, who the fuck are you? No, get that? Get out of here. He'd be like, go and roll yourself down and fucking gutter somewhere. That was the only thing I was gonna wheel it here. I was hoping he'd get me a hotel room tonight. He would say that shit all the time. They're gonna cut my other leg off tomorrow, so I need to comfy bed. And the next day, he'd still have that fucking leg. He owes us that leg.

Yeah, that is terrible. Like I'm coming for the leg. The office trophy. We can put it up next all of our machine-a-mournage. I just think I meet so many people like us. You know, there was a thing where with homes and people

I'm trying to expand my sphere of friends and including my favorite was I never learned her name but I always try to get to know the crazy black lady who accused Gus of raping her and she kicked them the homeless woman who kicked, the homeless woman who kicked me was a different woman. Oh, okay. See, we had a special relationship

because I would come out and she would be ranting and I would, she would be ranting it like random people and I would say, leave, you know, leave him alone and then she'd yell at me and I'd go, tell you yell at me, I'm, I'm as crazy as you are. Shut the fuck up. And I'd be yelling with this homeless lady in the middle of the street.

She was fun. She would do this thing, which was fascinating to me, where like a couple of times a week, she would go into the restaurant below our old office, ask them for a free couple water, and they'd be like, yeah, okay, she'll give her a free couple water. Then she would go outside, turn around, scream at them, and throw the water against the front door, and then stand there and just yell for five minutes and walk away. They never caught, I mean, they were always like, you sure there's another couple water.

Hopefully, you love this event. I missed the homeless guy on sixth in Congress who would just sing in the afternoons the big dude is he was The headphones on did he have headphones? Yeah, the guy who would clap and just rock and rock Two two different guys So the clapping guys at fourth and congress the singing guys at six okay, okay, yeah, they could have gotten together had a band I always wanted to meet or he could be the audience the clapping guy I Yeah, they could have gotten together had a band. I always wanted to meet or he could be the audience the clapping guy I always wanted to meet the clapping guy, but he was never anywhere nearby You know when we were walking by I always saw him from the car

So they guys always smiling I got the biggest smile I ever seen in my life Like whatever that guy was clapping about he was happy. Yeah speaking of bands. I had to go to a I had to go to a open house from my daughter's school yesterday Yeah, they're moving facilities and one of the parents walked up to me and said, how's Millie's rock band going? And I have no idea what you're talking about. She goes, yeah, your daughter started a rock band. My kid is the drummer, and I was like, really? That's awesome.

She goes, yeah, it's called Millie and the ambulance. You don't know anything about it. I was like, no. Oh, ambulance? Yeah, Millie and the ambulance. I thought it was ambulance, and I didn't know she knew that word. No ambulance.

Well, you should've said, it does sound like a plural thing. Yeah. It would've been really, and the ambulance. So, it's her kid, the thing. Yeah, it would have been really am the ambulance So her kid the ambulance I don't know I was really Learning though. I was like millie do you have a band she's like yeah Has an awesome vocabulary and it's the ambulance like people who can walk around Maybe that's what it is possible that actually makes sense your daughter is Like you guys don't hold back on a lot of this is not weird but it melts over this. You

guys don't hold back and look a lot of stuff like I wouldn't put skulls in my kids room like you guys put the the Mexican skulls and stuff like that so she gets exposed lots of like cool story stuff that nowadays we just don't tell the word kids you know. I would be kind of wondering about that actually we took into this thing and Millie she has this little makeup kit that somebody gave her for Chris I think maybe your mom gave it to her and she put on like tons of blue eyeshadow on the card it was like from here to like here she she looks like like what's her face in blade on her yeah yeah it was like the one band she

does this my shadow that way and it's actually I think it looks cool but so she went to this school thing and then all the parents are like, make up already, huh? And it's like, give us some looks. It was. And it's usually a pretty laid-back crowd. I was surprised. I was like, Oh, did we fuck up? Like, is that a faux pas? But I don't really know, especially if it's done, if she does it herself, and it's not like, and if it's very dress up like, is that getting her? Is she, I don't know. Yeah, is it exposing into things we shouldn't be exposing into? I was surprised, I didn't think it was a big deal. She had the boys side of that, it's always like which kids in the class are playing Call It Duty in the first grade.

Like that. Yeah. That's always a major. I got recognized at a restaurant a couple weeks ago. And it was kind of sweet how it happened. It was like this woman came up, this older woman came up, she's like, excuse me, do you work for a company called Rooster Teeth? And I was like, yeah, I said, oh my grand, it's the one that wants to meet you. and I was like yeah I should all my grandestone wants to once the meet you and I was like oh that's

cool so like this eight-year-old kid walks up it all I can hear is Jeff Kursing in every single video when I'm talking to this kid and like oh you're so young why are you watching our stuff and it's like guys so do you not Kurs at all I'm actually really good about not Kursing on our videos I mean we did we did we did a video like all these these these real videos we did for, um, the new, the new Angry Birds game, like I'm just sitting there waiting for Jeff to curse and ensure every single video he curses. And like, this is a kids game. It's like, I'm saying, it's game. It's not a good thing. It's, you know, the Lego Star Wars. Well, I'm sure he cursed. It's not, it's not the Ben 10 game or like Disney fun house. It's fucking, or toy fucking story

You talked about and I don't know if this is what I talk about but you talked about how you wanted to start doing some more family friendly game stuff Or a human right? Yeah, I'd like to age kids I'm thinking of doing yeah down the right Jeff won't be a part of it. I can I can I can be age appropriate if I need to I just don't need to very But if the time arises I will watch my mouth. Here's the meandering path of the drunk tank. We went from hitchhiking and flashing truckers

to family-friendly gaming videos. Is that where we are now? And we went through one-legged homeless dudes and cross-dressers and thoughts. Famous cross-dressers and thoughts. And you're in different families somehow. Yeah. Speaking of cross-dressing, last week will talk talk to you guys about some stuff

I was not on the podcast last week the audio podcast you guys talked about the new Wonder Woman. Oh with the package Yeah You're not you're not a fan of that that's it's hung you know what crazy thing about that is My wife was really disappointing is my wife is a big fan of Friday night lights And that's apparently where they cast the new Wonder Woman from the show. From the show. Yeah. And my wife was commenting about how hot that woman is.

I want to say in real life. And she's a really beautiful girl. And they made her look so terrible as Wonder Woman. Yeah. How do they do that? How do they do that? I don't know. Well, to be fair, Wonder Woman's costume is, I don't know how you update that. She's a lovely lady. Can I

see it? Do you have it up? Well, I think the problem is you have to you have to update it for modern taste. You have to make her you have to put pants on her now. She can't wear the hot pants. But she did they get her give her a better weapon than her like real. She sells the lasso right? Where does it last so true? She can use that. What was it called the last so true the my wrong last So true now she's right last so true it makes you tell the truth but it's something else and she has the invisible jet Where's Chris Robertson when we need him? She's blonde? Yeah, she is blonde sometimes she was blonde on

On Friday night lights. I like it. It is the last of truth by the way. Yeah the last. Oh, truth is what it's called. Oh my god What are the odd weapon wielded by DC comics superhero and Wonder Woman Princess Diana of the mice What's the one of the odds that a superhero created in the 30s would have stupid fucking names? 40 40 It was created in the 30s and that didn't come out of the 40. Yeah. Hey, you know, it's a dude that's got my name. Jeff need. What is that? Is that one? This is the cat. I think this is the

cast of Fred. Oh, this cast of Wonder Woman. Sorry. So what is the deal with Wonder Woman? Is that going to be on television? Is that a network show? Oh, is it a miniseries? And then it's going to be a show like like it would be, or is it going to be something else? I don't know. I don't know. That seems to be the way that they approach sci-fi or anything kind of geeky now is. They gave you a four-episode miniseries.

Then everyone likes it. You have to wait a year and a half. They put out the first season of it and it's canceled 12 episodes in. Essentially, that's the way everything works. I didn't realize in V, the main alien woman is a Nara from Firefly. That's pretty crazy. I didn't realize that I had no idea until I was a much firefly. The short-haired lady. She's way hotter with short hair too. Yeah, way hotter.

Well some people that have a special type skin. Some people that have like really delicate features like with short hair they come out a lot more. I get that a lot. I get that a lot. She phones. I'll say his hot is the the mom on Friday night lights. You never watch it. You know his hotter than that. Who's that the mom and modern family?

This is where we get going. This is where Jeff and I fall that you know who's really hot. Claire Duffy. She's hot. Did you see the latest episode of Mono Family? Watch the last night. So fucking great. Yeah.

Such a great show. Do you see the girl from 30 Rockter Family? Watch the last night. So fucking great. Such a great show. This is the girl. Do you see the girl from 30 Rock? The receptionist from 30 Rock? Ended up being the hottest woman on the planet? Or something in the USA? Is the USA today, did I? Or I don't know.

But she's the hottest girl on the planet. Yeah, Surrey, I agree with that. You guys think that's official? And then another magazine said Jennifer Lopez was the hottest woman on the planet. Dude, I saw that. But it was like the most photoshopped cover image. I don't know. I've seen her on American Idol a couple times this year the few times I've watched it and she's fucking gorgeous

Yeah, but I'm holding up, but she makes sure that she looks good. Yeah, but I think if you're gonna be in if you're gonna Do that you should make sure you look good. That's why we should buy Some exfoliant for the office. Why you looking at me? Because we were talking about the list today, but yeah, we should all exfoliate everyone Somebody in the office and I'm not gonna name names Admitted to me the other day that he didn't wash his face between makeup sessions Like it had been like over 24 hours and he hadn't washed his face. That's pretty gross Wasn't me but on that note

I think we need to take a break for another drunk thing can we do it? We should we're exfoliating that was the worst out tro ever I'm just trying to I just handsake go to I was working on a good one That's what you did does has been going like For speaking of talking about stuff. Let's talk about going to the drunk tank enemy. Oh, wow, that was great I did I sold it all right. Please enjoy this we'll be back in a moment We got a series of stories from packs. Two dudes come up to Gus, and they're like, hey, Gus, and Gus is like, hey, what's up?

They said, we wanted to come by yesterday, but we couldn't because we had kind of a situation. And Gus lifts up his shirt and points to his six-flab and goes, you mean this situation? And the guy gets the most confused look on his face that I've ever seen, like, quizzical. The guy goes, huh? And Gus goes, the situation, my abs, the situation. And the guy goes, I don't, I what? And Gus goes, come on, the situation.

And the guy goes, I, um, uh, my friend had a seizure yesterday. And, uh, that was our situation. Anyway, we think he's going to be okay. Just turn around and walk away. And I'm standing there with my shirt up like an idiot. It's a fucking... It's a man we broke! So I went on this hunting trip and we got back and I had just parked my car on his land. But apparently one of the horses thought I hate that fucking car. The horse bit every fucking panel on the outside car. I think what happened my car and every other dude they go,

uh-oh, were the horses out? This is like what a horse outside car. I think what happened right car in every of the two they go, uh-oh, where the horse is out? There's a little bit more horse crimming. I go, what the fuck is crimming? They said, oh, I just like sometimes horses bite stuff. They just think of crimming where they take their big fucking goat. Like a butt teeth. And they'll hang on something like a fence post and suck in the air until they can't move. And they're bloated and the horse vet has to come out and like

drain them and they're just idiots. Alright, welcome back. Now Jeff, there's something I wanted to talk to you about from last week. Okay, I was here for as well. So did you ever get your massage that Griffin bought for you? Massage. I got my massage yesterday. Absolutely. Same for you massage I Got my massage yesterday. Actually see massage again. I got my massage yesterday. Yeah, how'd that go? Unadventful my marriage is safe. Oh, yeah, that's really disappointed. You like I didn't even I need to be

Disappointed get I need to get I need to get any tough decisions apparently That lady on reddit was full of shit That lady on red it was full of shit Well, you might have you just You were in that 30% that I need to get four Massages eight total I think before you know because you need to break that 30% barrier Is that what it is show? Yeah, so if you get eight straight massages and There's no happy ending many know you're into that territory It was actually kind of awkward because the lady that gave us a massage or gave me a massage rather is a friend

Yes, and I didn't think that that would be weird at first because she's a professional whatnot kind of awkward because the lady that gave us some massage or gave me a massage rather is a friend. Yes. And I didn't think that that would be weird at first because she's a professional and whatnot, but yeah, like it's kind of odd to have like somebody you know touching you, you know, yeah, were you naked? Uh, I was in my undies. Maybe that was what was holding your back. She touched my butt though. Did she really?

Yeah. I'm here by the bottom of your butt. A whole thing, baby. Apparently I've got a sore butt because I? Yeah. Top of your butt. Top of your butt. A whole thing, baby. Apparently, I've got a sore butt because I sit down a lot so I needed a lot of work. Is that what she told me? There's a lot of tension in your... Did she get up in there?

What's up? Did she get up in there? Yeah, she did. Actually, your butt is one of your best features so I wonder if that was... I wonder if maybe you just can pick up on... You know, you're actually pretty bad. As much as I was kidding around about around about his what's up Jeff doesn't pick up on it when girls like him What's up for the most part like you don't usually pick up on somebody checking you out You know, there's a part of that too though with hitting on girls

I mean first of all guys practice that for years and years, you know You're just used to hitting on girls and so it's not something that easily turns off You know, it's like he's been you know the six years long enough to like Well, he was figured out he was doing that for what? And from 14 to whatever age you married her so it's a longer period of time he was doing it than not doing it It's true then there's also a component too is that we learned in college is that When a girl comes into a party you go hit on them as fast as possible, so they want to stick around the party Does that make sense if a girl comes into a party and nobody nobody talks to you for the first five minutes, it's a

bad deal. It's a bad deal. It's a way you make people feel girls feel welcome. Yeah, there you go. By big creeps. How does he be agree by saying how you do it? It's not like you're hitting on it in a letter. It's why you're doing it for her. I think you want to make her feel comfortable in at home. No, it's true. And I will say that as I get older, especially having dated women in the past, they definitely needed to. And I'm guilty of it too. Every girl needs attention almost at all times.

And then they don't get it. They get pretty upset. Let me throw a scenario out there. Let's say you and one of your friends goes to a party. And some creepy dude walks up to your friend and goes, hey baby, how you doing? You want to come out with me and get you drinks? She's like, no, leave me alone. Who feels worse?

The girl who got hit on or the girl who didn't get hit on? Yeah, no, I've been the... I happened to be recently where I was like, the brunette next to the blonde and it just didn't work for me. But you were blonde? That's why I'm blonde now, yeah. I'm not gonna walk into the room and have my blonde friend get hit on. Is that really long?

No, I'm sorry, it's like... You! I was like... What's my blonde friend get hit on. Is that really what I'm doing? No, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. What's your blonde friend? I'll see your blonde, I'll see your blonde, I'll see your blonde. Check this out. So who are you with? I was busy. It was a while ago during the Gemini Cheements.

And we went to a bar. And I was like, ugly friend, but at the time I was feeling pretty cute. But still, if you step in as a rune at next to a blonde you go to like a douche bar, you're not gonna get noticed. Really? Yeah. That's interesting. So what did you do? How'd you step it up? Um, uh, I ended up becoming blonde. I don't know. Wait, I didn't really step it up. That night?

I was looking for a dude because he was gross. She was gross. She died her blonde and started going tanning. No, actually, well, that night I, I think it's actually kind of annoying. Like, I would much rather pay for my own drink than have to talk to somebody who bought me the drink. Like, this guy was obnoxious, but but Lindsey was like, oh, free drinks. I'm like, it's not free if you have to talk to him.

Your time is worth something. Yeah, like, I'm having fun. So you would prefer. I'm not having fun because I'm having free drinks. You would prefer to be the girl not getting hit on. In that scenario, versus the girl who's getting hit. No. No, I wouldn't mind being hit on, but I'm not going drinks. You would prefer to be the girl not getting hit on in that scenario versus the girl Who's getting no? No, I wouldn't mind being hit on but I'm not gonna commit to sitting next to somebody for free drinks She let me put this way she went to a home depot on Saturday to buy some gardening stuff and

She came home and the first thing she walked in it what said and she walked in the door is I just totally got checked out by a 12 year old She really was a very for not high like, thanks for like vacuuming or whatever, just like, this 12 year old just checked me out. Razy, you wouldn't believe it. I didn't go that far. No, but how long do you feel obligated to hold up the conversation? The conversation. Like I can tell you that as a guy when I buy a drink for a girl, I'm not looking for

20 minutes. I think, okay, I'm looking for new material. You're looking for an awkward exit tomorrow morning. What's it? No, I mean, it's a conversation starter. If it lasts like a minute and you figure stuff out and she's not interested, whatever, that's fine. You know, that's, that's fine. No, but I'm not trying to be rude, but I think I've always been pretty sympathetic to guys. I don't want them to have to waste their time. And if I know I'm not, I've not seen this side of you Really? You haven't seen me you haven't seen that you haven't seen a dating capacity

But I'm not gonna lead somebody on for free drinks. I'm not gonna make somebody spend their money knowing I have no interest in them You know, I only spend them money people interested in Let me give you a resolution as a guy though, too It's it's like the guy goes can I buy you a drink or a guy offers your drink? This is better than oh, thank you very much. I'm gonna go talk to my friends now Thank you I really appreciate it and leaves that's better than I like to buy a drink. I'll go away from me It's more like I think with her it's more like I'd like to buy you a drink. Here's a picture of my husband and daughter

No, it's I mean yeah, I'm not doing that. Did you do that with Lindsay? Because you were married to Jeff when you were out that night did you make it clear to all the guys? Like hey guys, I'm married. No, I mean I don't do that with Lindsay? Because you were married to Jeff when you were out that night. Did you make it clear to all the guys? Like, hey guys, I'm married. No, I mean, I don't do that either. No, no, no, no. No, because you want to feel good. Like, who's going to San Diego? I'm the limp.

No, okay, so I'm somewhere in between. Anybody drive a big room? I'm not announcing that I'm married or anything. Oh, good. But I'm also not going to lead somebody on for free drinks. Well, I'm not announcing that I'm married. But I'm married. Yeah, that's pretty obvious.

And you're like, hey, what's up? When your wife is standing next to you. I'm sure there's a lot of guys who would disagree with me listening to this but I don't think it's that big a lead on if a guy asks you if you want to drink. No I understand that but I'm usually I'm pretty much race to the bar when I answer a bar anyway so by that's when I've got my tab figured out. Race to the bar? You're like I have to get out. No you're going to the bar that's where you're going to the bar right to get a drink so I'm usually have a tab at that point you're so attractive you really are that's the sexiest thing you said I'll be like throwing elbow you have to you know

what's funny to watch is funny to watch Gus at a bar you ever go to the bar with Gus I'm assuming I have it at the house you leave the house you leave the house occasion when did this happen wait what did you leave Gus. I'm assuming you have it. I have You leave the house you leave the house. Okay, when did this happen? Wait, what did you leave the house? I'm gonna leave the house every now and then You're shrugging, but I'm gonna start throwing a scenario at you Okay, I'm gonna know what I'm talking about. So if you're at a crowded bar where you're waiting to get a drink Gus hates that fucking process of flagging down the bartenders and getting the bartender to notice you. Gus is like, he'll start chucking glasses. I'm pretty sure. If the bartender walked past him twice,

Gus is like, fuck this, I'm burning the place now. I tell you pay $500 to get to be other balls. That's right. That's why I'm wearing the premium to get elevated level of service. There you go. I'll even say Gus, look people, I've seen these people here, they've been through like 10 minutes and'm gonna care about the people just like fuck everybody Get me a fucking drink. I don't care about this people. I'm I care about me and my state of sob That actually if you had a moment like that not too long ago into some hip-ster party and it took you like 40 minutes To get a drink Fucking this boring burlesque show. Can we be done with those as a society?

What are you saying you're gonna you're not gonna go where they dress up women Not clothes and make a dance either because it's like it's like so many echelons but removed from stripping It's like a bunch of rockabilly chicks that wear pasties and don't know how to dance going Like that for fucking three minutes with a theme like I'm a sailor girl I'm a sailor girl, I'm a sailor ship. Yeah, it's a hot come on. And then I had to wait like 30 minutes at the fucking bar to get a shitty watered down gin and tonic for $9. And that's why I don't leave the house. You were definitely right that night.

You know, I saw something that, you know, the local newspapers is the Austin American Statesman. And if you go to their website, I saw they had pictures from that burlesque show, and you can they sell prints of pictures that they have now in new stories. From that one that we were at? Yeah, from the Statesman.

Really? You were in a photo at the burlesque? You didn't see any, no, I didn't see any. You just had all of those, the people on the Statesman. But you can buy, you can buy, you can send a leave for a bunch of people. And then put on the website, and you can order prints of that for some reason.

That's why the Griffin have to leave for 20 minutes. Maybe Cedar got locked out. Yeah, here's the thing. Every time I make a point of getting a babysitter to go and do something like, a friend of mine was performing then. I not burlask. She was like in the band that was like supporting some burlask things. So she was like playing, she plays like that.

What is it called? Loot. I'm sure you guess. It's like a, yeah. A lot of the chords. No. How screwed is it? By the way, this is a friend who's before him and is there a man?

This is a friend that Griffin has who I've never spoken to because she's so sexually intimidating. I can't make eye contact with her. It's like, yeah, she's like the hottest chick and I Griffin is friends with her and I can't be around. Like I've never actually spoken to her. Yeah, you like, you like, I bought her a drink and I Want to like this? Oh? She took that and stride though. Oh she knows she's hot. That's why different friends with the arc of the

Co. She's kind of A while ago and you said that she looked like larkin from pajama treatments, but I don't think she does it to the Fuller she kind of does she kind of does oh, I think another person you talking about yeah, yeah, yeah, she plays like the Fucking what do you call it the auto auto harp auto? Harp so I was like oh the auto heart. Yeah, I was gonna see her show cuz she invited me So I'm like, okay, yeah, I'm gonna see your show and then of course our fucking baby's there gets locked out of the house Just that she's about to go on and Jeff's already drunk so I have to drive home I'm too drunk to drive I didn't want our kid to be riding out on the porch until midnight

I had to go home and of course I missed her show and you got back right? I texted her after and she won't talk she hasn't talked to me since like she won't talk to me now. Why? Because she's embarrassed about the thing. Hey no, because she asked me, hey, did you get a chance to do the show? I'm like, sorry, I had to go home. My kid is like that. Oh, wait, wait, I thought you texted the baby sitter. So is your friend and she because you left in the middle of the show. I had to leave. Yeah, I didn't catch her show. And since then she hasn't talked to me, which you know whatever, if somebody's gonna be that weird about it then fuck them, but it's just kind of annoying because everything that- She might be practicing the auto-harp though

Yeah, I might take a lot more Diligence what you realize I would love to respond to the text my fingers are busy I have to save these babies for Saturday, right man. She fucking huh? Yeah, I was the show yeah Yeah, I guess I don't know It was more fun to watch her play an auto-harp than a bunch of rockabilly chicks with fucking small boobs and She's not dance well. I can see I can never have a conversation like that in front of my wife Like she knows I like the mom from modern family, but I we literally can't watch

Curb your enthusiasm in my house because I find Cheryl Heinz so attractive She's strange because I she really Cheryl Heinz really reminds me of your wife Yeah, she does the same time a type like I think that fire your wife I'd be encouraged by the fact that you're into women just like her fuck yeah, I agree My wife likes like this Robert she as we get older not that my wife's older But as we as years go on she's like in guys that are like Robert Pattinson and who's the dude the werewolf? Yeah, what the fuck does it kids and she likes I like Cheryl Hines you know Carrie Russell dying lanes dying like yeah exactly

she's surrounded who's the who's the chick who just died Elizabeth Taylor hot so so he all ran did you see the naked picture of Elizabeth Taylor that came out after she died I know no it wasn't true

oh it's fake? Yeah, it was fake. It was someone else. That's too bad. I mean, you have to go to a Photoshop picture for the last two minutes. No, it's a real photo. It wasn't her. If you're tacking off, is knowing in its Photoshop, is it like a boner killer?

Is it a boner killer? Is it? You're like, oh. Why? I can see the blending. I don't know. I don't know what it is. I can be looking at my fucking front lawn.

Oh, there's shops in Boone. That's not a lawn. Oh can be looking at my fucking front lawn Oh, there's shops of food. Oh my god this sprinkler just came on Terrain though, but yeah, we can't watch it and my wife she likes these She likes these kids like the Twilight kid and that and that's my point is like I like women that are like you and She's not like oh that Jonah Hill Seth Rogan I like a good John C. Ryle So you wife in another 10 years of the sexual predator man Think a think a hot screech would be if he grew a beard It'd be so fucking hot. Should be telling your kid should be like JD

She'd be like why don't you like that that friend of yours? Like Gil the one the place football and fight him over to the party tonight. Yeah watch out Do you get older do your taste now? It's you younger? I've always usually been interested in people that are older than me But Though that 12-year-old he was not bad You know the worst is one of worst thing's that went back in my lesbian years like in Carvales. We all went to see Tomb Raider.

And yeah, all of my lesbian friends were there and then all of the like adolescent boys were there. And I checked out so many 12 years I thought were hot lesbians and I felt immediately incredibly guilty about it. I'm like, oh my god, she's so fuck. Without going to be Specific some names or anything that a lot of times you show me pictures of girls that you find hot They look like dudes to me Honestly, why no no, I can't even think of any one that I've shown you looks like a dude

Well, I don't want to go to specifics, but yeah, is it just short hair that's a turn off? They look like dudes point out of heart Push just put it that way I think it's why you like Gavin so much is it's like he's like a nice in between. Hey, how big is Gavin's hair gotten? Have you noticed that? I think the weight we lost went to his head. His hair got ridiculous. Have you seen him in the slow-mo guy stuff lately? I think he's I think he's changed it up a bit. He's doing like this mush puff thing.

Yeah. You know, I got to be honest, our friends who live in Europe and the UK, they're they have a different fashion movement over there at any point in time So you never know what the fuck they're doing, you know, and plus they're 12 so you know what they wear And half the time in Ben tweet someone like are you dressed up to go to a Victorian vest party? What are you doing What are you doing? So, that the Benz sensed me photos all day already.

But when he posts something on your wife. Yeah, I'm like a frontman for my wife. These young guys send them photos. So, the massage was uneventful then. Uneventful. Yeah, but I have another... Except that it was supposed to be really relaxing. And Griffin took Millie and went shopping. I have another if it except that like it was supposed to be like really relaxing and

Griffin took millie and went shopping so it was It was unalancing in two fronts. I didn't I knew that there was money being spent And I didn't know how bad it was gonna be and so I was worried about that and then also the dog was in the crate and the dog went For an hour, so that's what did it happen. Yeah, so that was the soundtrack of my massage You could imagine like whales Yeah, I ended up getting caught up at work on that Friday and then Jeff had to go and get me So then who we had a cancel and postpone and she did have I would not want a massage. I know I know this girl She's very beautiful very she's been cast and stuff because she's so pretty

It's like literally like the part is beautiful girl is the part that she plays and and I would not want to massage from a really Beautiful lady that seems like it would be its own level of stress to me. No, it's true, too because you're like Please don't get a boner. Yeah You're like 12 hours a week. Oh, I can eat this because I don't want to be gassy I did like you know the one Half of you the massage was like all right. Can you roll over on your back and I'm like? I think so really No, I was able to oh

You're shedding it too. I left just so you would be more comfortable because I wasn't there like watching like a hop See I'm with the massage from the big I don't want a massage from a dude but I'll take the I want the big Helga lady you know like the big sweetish. Yeah I would think you would someone like like strong hands. Oh she has to give you the very strong hands. Yeah she's got these strong hands. They're pretty good. Any professional masseuse I think they develop strong hands pretty quickly. Yeah this is gonna sound like a weird thing but one of the things I was noticed if I ever want to get in really good shape I'm gonna get a job at a fucking ice cream shop. You ever watch the people who serve ice cream Yeah, they have all they have like they look like fiddler crabs

That right arm they used to scoop it's just like enormous No, like that they do that all day. They're like that German Champion what do you call that? Arm wrestling. Yeah, you know what he's talking about. Have you guys seen that dude? Did you just have like? He just has that. Yeah. You know what he's talking about? Have you guys seen that, dude? You just have like the giant arm wrestling. He just has that giant arm wrestling.

So when you do professional wrestling, you have to switch arms. You just do one arm. Yeah. I would think just for your own benefit, you'd want to balance them out. Yeah, no, it's dedication. No, it's more. No, there's a dude, he's talking about a very specific dude in Germany. He looks like a Photoshop.

It looks like somebody stuck a bodybuilder's arm on his right arm or like he put his arm Like in a beehive and got stung 400 times He's a normal dude and he has this huge huge arm. It's like Homer in that episode of Simpsons where he did the arm wrestling Gus the internet's down. I just want to point that out to you So I can't find my best is responsible for the internet That's too bad. It's like for you You know, and then dude to it's like when you're an wrestler, how many times at the bar do you have to tolerate the Jack off champion to the world jokes, you know what I mean?

With the dude with the one big arm. He's possibly that with your giant arm. Yeah, making that joke. He's such a cool to have at them He's like this fake out where you face one way. Yeah, they face the other way. You know, it's like you literally have one good side This one massive arm. You think he was the inspiration for the charger in a letter to? Do you know the charger was actually, uh, there's a big controversy big charger in left for dead in that a guy in the forums wrote about the charger before they put it in the game. And they essentially, I shouldn't say they did this, but if you retroactively look at it, he described the charger perfectly.

And even I think you named it the striker or something like that. It was something really close. We should know from personal experience, stuff like that will happen. Yeah. You may be totally great. You may be planning something for a long time and then someone just happens to make a post. It's like, oh shit, they nailed it, did I? We had a kid who at the start of season three emailed us the plot of season three

Like in detail it was really bizarre and the arm wrestling champion. I'm showing them He's arm like actually looks maybe it's a shadow, but it almost looks like it's a paler too. Yeah, we keep that as son He probably lotions it puts it in a sleeve or something wraps it No, I agree with that But that's the guy trying to figure out what was happening in the storyline. Yeah, like I'm sure lost I'm absolutely positive that lost was going to end differently than what it did, but people figured out what it was about. And you just can't, with the internet now, you can't do twists that extend over

multiple episodes, multiple, multiple seasons, because somebody's going to guess it. But and we, but the fun I'm on, the Gus you're talking about, is a lot of times we'll talk about ideas or we'll put something out and then two weeks later, somebody else will put out a video. That's a lot like the video that we put out and you're like damn it What the hell how can this be possible now? But then there's also been times where we've been talking about an idea for a video and then we look on the internet and Wham there it is or somebody just puts it out the day we start talking that I have it with the hey guys video, right? You came up this idea to go through all the video the video bloggers and bloggers and pull down the first line

Which is like hey guys and we just you know clip them all together and like I literally search on YouTube and found it Like you came up with the idea and I found it on YouTube I had an idea for a drunk gamer or not a drunk him So I had an idea for an achievement hundred video that I was telling you last week and I was like I think this would be really funny. You said that's a great idea and Jack goes. Oh, yeah I saw that two years ago. Here it is, bam. Yeah, because it was hard enough that whole attitude, whatever, there's no original ideas. And now with the internet, it's like impossible

to get away from that. You know, like everything is so accessible to everyone at all times. Like if an idea happens across the world, it's there. Nothing's original anymore. What do you want to say that usually are not original thinkers? That's true.

This one in particular stands out because it was made, oops sorry, it was made well before Lefford had two came out and it's very specific like there's parts of the charger like the small arm versus the big arm that are very specific. So this was one where the guy cried about it a little bit. Yeah, and he was like, yeah, I don't know, do you have it right here? I got some of it. I got the form, where people are crying about it and all that stuff. But it doesn't matter if you're if you're posting it on their forums and wanting to put it. It's like I maybe he

I guess he just wanted credit for the idea or something. Everybody wants credit for something. Yeah, but do you remember the time that we saw that the original Red versus Blue Pictures that Luke made where he took the helmets off all the guys and gave him like He drew Sarge and Graph and all those guys and we were amazed. Probably one of the most infuriating conversations I've had on the internet. And so you saw these in a user's profile and you go, hey, I really like these photos and he goes, oh thanks Really appreciate it. Bernie goes you no, no, here's what happened I saw these photos all over our website in the community site Which was the red versus blue characters with their helmets off and they were holding them. And the guy who had done it had gone through and picked out little pieces of character design from all different lines and sees one about how tall

starage was versus Griff, how fat Griff was, and he had done these great things. Turns out it was Luke McCay that made him. But I was going all over the site trying to find who made these pictures, and I found somebody's user image gallery that had all the photos and so I said oh finally I said man I really love these these drawings I think they're tremendous and he said thanks thanks a lot I said I want to post them on the front page of the site but I want to get your permission before I do that he's a totally fine go for it and and then he wrote very and just make sure you give me credit for them and I said, okay I said and then for some reason the way he said at the end made it stand out to me

So I said hey, I just want to make sure you drew these right he goes no I didn't draw these because I got him for somebody else But I should get credit for finding them. I was like you're a fucking jackass. Yeah, but luckily I was able because I can't wait to go through and then find Luke McKay. Yeah, what's good thing that stood out to you? Yeah, but it was really weird is like he had no compunction at all about like He would have been fine with me posting on the front page and saying they were his drawings Yeah, absolutely. I know we were talking about RTX, but Luke is gonna be there and his job for the entire weekend is We're gonna get him like little cards and he's gonna be doing drawings for people All we can long so like I'm like I'm the peer like he'll do you draw you like it. Yeah, I wanted to be like a cricket card

I want him to like draw you like a dune buggy. Yeah Like all that Like he'll do you draw you like and I want it to be like a cricket chart I want him to like draw you like a dune bogey exactly right or like Yeah, that's what your favorite numbers So that's his job for the weekends. That's fantastic And then I think Ben is also gonna be there so you can tell him what's wrong with the website You know say works for me. Yeah I have no problem. I guess I'll be like that's fine. Yeah behind that. That's a been problem If you find out with the air though, you get disconnected a lot because I do and I'm wondering if it's fine. Yeah, behind that. That's been problem. Do you find that with the air that you get disconnected a lot? Cause I do. And I'm wondering if it's just, I thought it was just me

because no one else seems to have the problem. The only problem that I have so far with the MacBook Air is that it doesn't wake from sleep. So I'm just, you can't, like, you've got to wait. No, I have to literally just like hold power button on the power off. I don't know that problem. But it takes me well for my mouse to register anything to work, but it's not like blank screen or anything on me.

Oh, no, I mean overall I'm happy with it. It's a laptop with a nine hour battery life. I can't really complain about that. It's a light and easy to travel with. Alright, Gus, are we out of time? That's it? I'll wrap it up. I'll show you a thing. Okay, well thanks for watching our now third video podcast. I guess we returned to audio for a little while. Gus, what's the plan for video podcast?

We'll probably be doing a monthly for a little while. Gus, what's a plan for video podcasts? Well, probably be doing a monthly for a little while maybe we'll speed it up now that got the Thunderbolt I'm gonna start doing a couple more. Damn. Well, I had a lovely time today. I do those people I think I learned a lot about truck driving and a little bit about I learned I learned that Jack fucking despises Griffin Yeah, which is something I've long suspected, but at least now it's not the open Now let's all go lunch and eat an anger. Yeah, which is something I've long suspected but at least now it's not the open The light goes down to your head, that's what it is Now let's all go to lunch and eat an anger Bye everybody Describe the show to a newcomer and a more familiar way. Do you like apples? Example together in trepid hosts

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