Rooster Teeth Podcast - Rooster Teeth Podcast #132

Episode Date: September 21, 2011

Rooster Teeth is almost done crunching Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers, Will Arnett and Anthony Mackie comes the new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motormouth outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland. If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church.

Twisted metal, streaming only on peacock. Good day. Drunk Tank. Drunk Tank. Did you know it's the Drunk Tank? Apparently we got Jimmy Hendrix back from the dead whispering into us and playing this guitar for our podcast intro this week. We got the Drunk Tank. I don't know if Jimmy Hendrix is back from the dead. It might be just be dead Jimmy Hendrix playing that. Did Jimmy Hendrix? Pretty good. You got that drunk tank. I don't know Jimmy Hendrix is back from the dead. It might be just be dead Jimmy Hendrix playing that

Jimmy Hendrix. Pretty good. You know what I'll be honest. No, I meant for a dead guy headless. Every time I hear electric guitar, it just it all sounds the same to me. Like I can't tell like even Jimmy Hendrix when he would do this amazing stuff I just couldn't I couldn't hear it. Yeah, yeah, like when you play the star-spangled banner, everyone talks about how incredible that was. Did you play that at Woodstock? I guess. Yeah. And to me, it's just like, it just sounds like, I'm not saying electric guitar sounds bad, I like it, but I can't tell the difference between really good electric guitar and masterful

electric guitar. I think the deal with that is, and I could be wrong too, because I'm like you, I think the deal with that is no one had played the electric guitar like that until he did it. I see. It's like one of the things where everyone talks about how great citizen Kane is but you watch it now and you're like what's so good about that. You don't have the perspective of a world without citizen right. It's what you're saying right. We don't have there's perspective of a world without Jimmy Hendrix playing the star story. A world-banner. Three Jimmy Hendrix. Never seen a movie too old for me. So really is it possible that a movie could be too old for you? Absolutely.

You do realize that Gus and I were not born when Citizen Kane was in theaters, right? But I'll give, you know, you're not like, ban, right? I'll give it like a limit, you know, like 20 years or something. 20 years, what do you mean from, like 20 years back from now or 20 years before you were born? Like before me. So what, like 1985? Yeah, what's your, were you born?

Okay, maybe, maybe, maybe 20 years from now. What year were you like, were you like, 27? 87, 87. 87. 87. So you would not see a movie before 1960. I actually, that's way too much. I wouldn't see a movie anywhere near that old. Really, like 10 years, maybe like Star Wars, like the oldest. 77. That's it. 77. I give it star wars is like the only movie I can watch. Not be like,

so let me throw a couple movies that you're going to be missing then. Okay. We're so fast. That's Bernie, uh, so old. Let me throw a couple movies at you that you're going to be missing then. Okay. We're going to say real fast. That's Bernie, Michael, aka Rage, Quitt and Gus. You're missing the Godfather. You would never see the Godfather? I've seen the Godfather what you're saying. Wait, the Godfather come out.

Was that 675? Yeah, but 775. Okay, then yeah. I guess Godfather. I guess it was like maybe even earlier than that. Maybe it looks 74. Really? Okay.

Clearly it was out of its time. Jaws? That was pretty, Star Wars, wasn't it? It was like right around the same time. I mean, you're right on the costume. I think Josh was like 76, 75 as well. And we're on there. And my mind, everything was 75. Jurassic Park.

What? All the Terminator movies, those were in the 50s. Oh really? They're remakes. You're not talking to Ben. You're talking to Michael. Would you watch television from older than that? Like would you watch the Twilight Zone?

That maybe. Star the original series? Not really interested in Mr. Rib. No, God. I don't want to watch that. Of course not. There's no fucking cartoon It's a it's a horse though. I'm trying to find common ground There it is. We're identifying with you Michael. All right, so Michael would not watch any movies before 1977 That's where he stops me somewhere around there. I peace. I'm still looking up for the jaws release date. What is jaws is contribution to modern American cinema more specifically modern American cinema marketing? I know. I don't know. Summers never used to be blockbuster movie releases.

Summers is when movies studios would release movies that they didn't think would do very well. And jaws did so well that now all the blockbusters are released in summer. Jaws was a disaster. It was like Trying to equate to something Michael would understand like what was a movie that got out of hand in terms of budget that you remember Like water world. Is that on your radar? If I say yeah, I know water with the It's having cost. Yeah, I had a bloated budget where it got us to like $100 million. I guess Avatar did it as well. It's so did Titanic, but those things...

Made money. Yeah, they paid off. Well, Josh was kind of the same thing as Avatar, where back in those days, it crept up to like a $10 million budget from a $3 million budget. And there was this idiot young director, director, Steven Spielberg, who had this movie that was going out of control.

But instead of like lamenting the fact that his budget was out of control, he just kept saying, look how much money we were putting in this movie that was going out of control, but instead of like lamenting the fact that his budget was out of control, he just kept saying, look how much money we're putting in this movie, it's going to be awesome. And they tried to bury it by putting it in the summer, and it did so phenomenally well that it changed the way movies are released. And now the biggest movies are released in the summer as opposed to the holidays. You also don't see very much of the shark in that movie because they had a mechanical shark that didn't work for the ship.

It's not right. Yeah, it said, I can't quote for shit. It's shit, right? Yeah, it said, he said, I can't quote about that, I'm gonna see if I can remember it, I'll paraphrase him here where he said that the difficulties with the mechanical shark made him more like Alfred Hitchcock and less like Roger Cormin. Because if he had the shark, he would have shown the shark the entire time. Right. But the fact that he couldn't show the shark made him a better filmmaker.

Just got a guy on a shark suit. This is just a real shark. Oh, hey, you would have been easier. That's true. You didn't do whatever you want back in the 70s. That was like, it was like, it was like 1800 to blow up a shark. Nobody would have minded really. You know, I heard a story. So you talk about things you were able to do. I heard a story like, you know, you know, you hear about like guys dying on the set of Ben Hurr,

getting run over by a chariot, and they just leave it in the movie. But you like they're building a great wall of China or something. But I heard too that, um, the original Black Stallion movies, which Michael Black Stallion, another horse movie here, but it was made in the 30s. That the little girl, spoiler, the horse dies in the movie, right? I think it does not happen. I don't know. It's an old movie with an animal in it. It's not the animal dies. It's a movie with an animal in it. Yeah, so the animal probably dies. But the animal dies and the girl has to like break down a cry about it and apparently the way they got her a breakdown of cries They told her that her mother died

Then they filmed then they filmed that I think you know like a kid like 26 She's like no, I can't believe it. He's like very global seven, you know or nine and they told that and actually Institute did like laws or codes of ethics about not doing that. That's fucking awesome get over it Yeah, it's motivational right. Hey, guess what we just got a phone call your mom's dead roll tape Roll film I guess in this crying this direction. Yeah, stand on the X This is the grieving spot. Yeah, all your sorrows to be left right here He's you all your grief needs to be very well lit,

so you're gonna hold still for a minute. God, that's terrible though, they would do that. That's awful. Really terrible. Absolutely. There's a clip I saw a few, probably a couple of months ago now, I guess when they made that Twilight Zone movie in the 80s, there's this awful helicopter crash.

If you ever heard about it. Somebody like their head cut off or something. Yeah, the fucking video is on YouTube. You can't look at any nudity on YouTube, but you could fucking watch someone die. Oh, you can look at nudity on YouTube my friend Okay, it's depends if it's artful or not. Oh right. That's right. It's like breastfeeding. You know what that to my There's like no, there was this one what I'm saying good you had the internet You're just supposed to how desperate are you that you're looking at? Like it was like it was hungry any morning was like, I want to watch the best speed. It was like, it was like, it was like, this woman breastfeeding her like,

three-year-old daughter, four-year-old daughter or something. It's like, it was like, this bitch is crazy. I've seen that, I've seen that story. I believe she's actually eight. Holy shit. Yeah. Whatever. That's on YouTube. And the guy getting his head cut off. Or whatever it is actually I didn't actually see the clip I just you can't see my just like a helicopter turns over and goes rotor down onto like a dude on to a dude caring two kids good lord So if you're an archaeologist finding this podcast buried under some temple in the future, right? That's what YouTube was in our culture. It was breastfeeding videos. No and was in our culture it was breastfeeding videos no and how I know I hope in the

North that our podcasts in the temple I hope it's like I think I'm just like look at this fine it belongs in a museum it should be like floating in space like dead space style no no we're building a temple now I'll get a temple it's all it won't even be it will be like lost right why was there a temple there right never explained it it won't even be like when. Why was there a temple there? They never explained it. It won't even be like when looking back in the future.

There's temples all over. It's just like this one building. So there's one lone temple. Like what the fuck? The podcast, I'm going to. Listen, if you're from the future or from an alien culture and it's, say 1,000 years in the future after the sun, scorches the earth, you find our building.

What you have no context for our culture. What would our building be? It's a big open area. We have what looks like gods in our lobby. We have the big foam alien. We can't even look like. What would that big foam alien we have seen? We have a prop now.

Oh right, right. That's been sitting there. And, you know, we have all this like iconic props and sets. They would think we were some kind of religious fanatics They would have no context for the internet or stupid internet videos Excuse me. I mean hi brow world-class successful internet videos Man, I was looking at our our podcast downloads. We are huge now. Yeah, that's crazy

We've seen so we've seen some big growth this year. I wanted to say something about that I feel like we could do better in Germany though Yeah, that seemed a little low and I feel like if we get more German-oriented like conversations going Okay, that's your job. You need to learn how to speak German. I think you already do it with the breastfeeding video I'll do that. That's true. We need to get like those Green outfits. They wear to like festivals isn't not over this now Green outfits. Yeah, what are the green outfits called Michael? I've no idea what they're called they're called German outfits

When little Germans are born they're handed out you know what they're called you must know what he's talking about. Yeah, German suits It's the uniform the German uniform right you're presented with what age are they given? I know I birth at birth they have to grow into them though You're given at birth a doctor hands you your baby a sausage and his German uniform a sausage I can just feel as picking up German viewers at the time right now. Yeah, I can hear it leader hosen. Yeah later Later hosen later. Oh, yeah, I don't know the official car above the October fest, which is going on right now Why is it going on now? September. That's crazy. They got back to the game. They got back to the game.

No, I think it ends like October 5th. It's like from the middle of September to like the first day of October. You know what I learned? It rolls out to the tongue bit of the September fest. What'd you learn? I learned that, you know, since we're talking about the screwed up German calendar, I learned that apparently

Alexander the Great as he spread the culture all over the globe as he conquered the globe, that the Greeks were the ones who had a seven day calendar and that most of the world had a 10 day calendar. Jimmy, 10 day week calendars, what I mean to say. So like in especially in Asia, they had a 10 day week and that we now have a seven day week because of Alexander the Great. What are we talking about weekends When you really would have been fucking working hard for that weekend. What would you would you like a 10-day week?

Well depends how many days are weekends. Well, let's start. Let's break it down like let's negotiate here When you put it on the table how many days you will end a work a week if it's a 10-day week three It's so you got three weeks a month then essentially three weeks a month It's it's probably gonna end up being like a seven three split right? Yeah Seven three split because any people multiply by 3? That's 21 and 9. 7-3, but then every 14 days of work, you're getting 6 weekend days. So, now we do every 15 days, we do 6 weekend days. So, because 5 times 3, yeah, so you lose a day of work in there.

So, every 14 days you get 6 weekend days. Are you okay? I think you misunderstood. I meant 3 work days. I know what you're fucking misunderstood. In there so every 14 days you get six to six weekend. Hi, and I'll be okay I think you miss I think you misunderstood. I meant three work days. I know which you fucking So this I even on the table We make this judgment. We was a bad offer. Why is this the the sighting factor this table right here? Because we're the ones fucking talking about it. Yeah, but I mean anyone else talking Why would you want more work days? You know what seven three you get more weekend days. I don't want more work days. I want you

to have more work days. I'm bumping it down to one now. One day, one day a week. And I'm going to go to you and I understand you play video games for living in yell at them, right? Right. That most people would even qualify that work. I'm pretty. There's a cool mind or somewhere crying. Yeah, but that guy loves coal mines. You don't just year fall into, well, sometimes you fall into a coal mine, but you don't just fall into the job. You're, you know, he has two clean streets down the middle

of his face from the tears that he's shedding. He probably has a degree in coal mining. You think so? You have to agree it is whole life. Video game anger management? Absolutely not. What? I had an anger management.

What is your educational background? My what? Your educational background? We probably should have found this out before we hired it. Probably. I got a little late to be asking. Did you graduate high school? Yes, you did. Yeah, I did. Okay, I don't like the serious look in his face. He's like, fuck, did you're not, maybe not. You're hired at this point. You can be honest. We can't fucking fire you retroactively for that. There are people who work at RISC who did not graduate high school. I'm not one of them. Really? So you, and then is it okay if we talk about your previous employment at all?

Like you're an actual skilled laborer. Well, you are. You're part of one of those Jersey unions, right? No, I wasn't in the union. How did you get away doing the job that you did in New Jersey and not be part of a union? There's some guys like, hey, come work for me. And I was like, all right.

So you're a mobster. That's what I heard. Yeah. You're talking around the edges. You're like, how do I have a bunch of no-show jobs? You're like, oh, I got paid not to go to work today. I got paid to stay home. No, I actually worked.

I actually have talked to him about, can we say what you did? Is that okay? Yeah, I don't care. So, Michael's a trained electrician. Are you a licensed electrician? No, I'm not. So, you trained on the job training

and with no motivation whatsoever to get a license. So, would you call that an apprenticeship? Yes, suppose. Okay. So, Michael's a electrician. And since we moved in here, I've been asking questions about like, say we want to put a like a light socket here in the ceiling to hang a chandelier in the lobby

We have a kind of a cool fun funky chandelier. We can hang he has no clue how to do it. No light switch. No idea I it's dead to me. I can you help me replace electrical outlet in my house. I could I won't What have you ever electrocuted yourself? I mean, you know, it's not really electrocuted. You're like shocked, sure, tons of shitloads of time. What's the worst time? The worst time would probably be intentional. Intentional? Yeah, well, like at first I got hired just as,

I got hired right when I was, when I turned 18. So I got hired as like the retard that carries shit. You know, so just like, oh, get the tools. Like I would just bring it back and forth and stuff. I don't only work like three days a week. But when they started working like a year and then I got like full time and all that shit, then he was like, all right, I guess I'll start teaching you stuff because you're like, you know. You haven't quit yet? You haven't been in 40 hours.

I'm still here. Yeah, I went in the job deciding like, one day I'll just go home and I won't come back. Because that's what I did with like a bunch of jobs I had. I was just like, yeah, and I just wouldn't show up. And then they'd get the hint that I quit. Okay. And then it just saves, you know, it saves a whole messy situation. So anytime you're calling sick now,

we're gonna wonder, is this it? No, I wouldn't call it sick. I just wouldn't show up one day. And then the next day and the next day and so on and so forth. That's good business training right there. Just don't even, don't say we're just walk away. Don't worry about it, forget about it.

Okay, so you started like, So he started teaching me the ropes and doing how to do stuff. But when I started actually working on lights and this and that and all the installations. You're technical jargon. It's amazing. You know what I'm saying? The holes. There's a lot of wires involved, a lot of colors. Reds and blues.

Greens. Reds and blues. greens, reds and blues. Yeah, I'm just saying red and blue in a electrical wire. Yeah, there's tons. I don't think I ever have either. I've seen black and white. I've seen green as well. Green is a different ground. There is every color, THHN.

So what's the worst time you've shocked your... But anyway, so before we started like working like real work, he's like, all right, it's like you're going to know, you're going to know what you're dealing with. So he had a transformer at like the workshop and he set it up and he kept uping the voltage on the transformer. He's like, this is 120 volts. And he's like, I'll do it first.

So you know, you don't die. And then he grabbed it and he just like, and you get shocked. It was like 120, which is normal. It's like your normal electrical outlet and stuff like that. Then we did 240, then we did 480, which is like not to 40. Yeah. And that was not fun. Outlet and stuff like that then we did 240 then we did 480 which is like not Oh, yeah, and That was not fun, but he's like now you know what if you had like a heart defect and it like the electricity like you stopped your heart

I didn't maybe that's like he's weeding out process And you're like you know failure and then I just take him out I mean you can hit with a lot of a volts and be fine. It's not just low amps like like you're like, you know, failure. And then I just take them out and expose their bodies. I mean, you can hit with a lot of votes and be fine. There's a lot of slow amps. Like, when it's, you know, if you ever see static electricity, if you can see the electricity shooting between you and the carpet or whatever, that's like 100,000 volts. Yeah, yeah.

Well, it's like a taser is 10,000 or 20,000. I don't know. People can hit with those all the time. Right, I know I do. See? It depends on the, do I ever change the story about the the going down to the bars in Mexico and the guy with the bad Yeah, I think you did you don't tell a podcast But somebody else go back and find out where we talked about that the worst game ever

You you lose regardless and you lose a dollar For you get the pay to have some dude shock you with a battery and it's fucking pants Yeah, those days are going going down to Mexico. It's so sad. It's pretty scary down there now It's too bad. Do we have any listeners? We're talking about the statistics for the podcast. We have any listeners from Mexico. Um, I don't know Let me I'll I'll look and see I only looked at the really the top 10 Countries that we had listeners from I don't remember seeing Mexico on there, but I'll double check whose number one you from I don't remember seeing Mexico on there, but I'll double check. Who's number one?

US. USA. USA. Not going to be fair. I asked just so I could say that. Now the union jersey comes out. No, we found out Gus sent out this email with our quarterly statistics, and we found out that we had 2.4 million unique listeners in the second quarter of this year, which ended, I guess, in June.

No, no, the third quarter. Oh, the third quarter. Which is still going on for the next liner tindish. So we can add to our already impressive totals what you're saying? Yeah, we can. Listen to that. You think with 2.4 unique, 2.4 million unique listeners, we would have one unique sponsor. Yet we don't.

We don't have a single fucking sponsor. We do. This broadcast brought to you by roosterteeth.com. There we go. Red versus blue. Red versus blue now currently in season nine In fact, I have to cut out of here in a little bit because we're getting ready to record the commentary For season nine's DVD. Yeah, Mexico is not in the top 10 countries. I only I will experience right at the top 10 Okay, what you want you let's guess the top 10 if we can I'm a good US USA given next one. I'm going Canada What would you guess as number two? Yeah? Let's guess the top 10 if we can. I'm gonna US. USA. Give him. Next one I'm going Canada.

What would you guess? As number two. Yeah. If I say Canada, you should say UK. Okay. Mexico. It's the United Kingdom. Okay, then after the United Kingdom, I would go Canada.

Yeah. Yeah. You have even 10 countries. What's up, Kanox? They are. Let me think about this. Next is Australia. Yep. Fuck yeah, look at me. Next is I'm gonna guess I'm gonna go off the beaten path here

I'm gonna go with either like a Netherlands or a Finland like one of the internet countries both good guesses, but no what is it Ireland? Oh cool Which I guess is also kind of an internet country right now that a lot of technology companies moved out there I guess so I don't know what their their population is also like there's parts of Ireland that are part of the UK. Although people from Ireland would say what the fuck are you talking to me or they're losing the religion listeners. Then I'm a guest after that I'm gonna guess either Germany or. Want to I'm gonna go with my another lens Finland guest again well Sweden. Sweden that's I'm gonna count Sweden.

Okay, okay, that's right again. Well Sweden. Sweden. That's I'm gonna count Sweden as it is. Okay, because that's right there. Why not? Then the next one I'm gonna say it because there's no way you're gonna guess it's unknown. Oh, you got a country? Apparently it is. Michael would have guessed unknown. You might have been in Antarctica. And then rounding it out, I'll just go and say it's New Zealand, Norway, Germany. New Zealand is gonna beat and buy unknown. We need to be some more Kiwi listeners. We need less people who are going through a proxy to find us. We need less of the 4 channel audience. Well, we'd like to welcome all of our international listeners to the Drunk Tank Podcast.

We hope to insult your country on a future episode. We'll eventually get to every one of you. We'd like to be incredibly ignorant about your country and confuse it with another one that might be close to yours. So I mean, I already started off with like calling Finland Sweden so there we go and I was just in Sweden. I wrote a journal about that but I don't think I ever talked about it did I? No. So I went to, I helped executive producer I'm in the process of helping executive produce a documentary by two player productions which is the production company who did the first season of the

Penny Arcade reality show. And they're doing a documentary now about Mojang, which is the studio that makes Minecraft. A lot of people know notch the name notch is the guy who created Minecraft, but that's his studio, Mojang. So they're doing a documentary about it. I helped executive produce it. And as of that deal I had a chance to go over to Stockholm Sweden and visit with Mojang and The whole reason I got involved with this first all I like Minecraft, but my son JD is like the world's biggest Minecraft fan Mm-hmm And so I decided to pack my kid up and we went off and got to meet JD's hero notch That's also gonna be a great trip. Dude, it was unbelievable. Notches, easily one of the nicest people

I've ever met in my life. We have people who come visit us here, right? And it's like, hey, give it to her the place. You know, we're working on stuff or whatever. And sometimes, you'll be here for like, what about an hour? There are some like that. Notch kind of puts us to shame.

I'll be honest with you. Because I was like, we were there like 45 minutes. So I was just very conscious of the fact that hey these guys are busy doing stuff This is a business we should get out of their hair and every time I tried to leave not just like no No, let's let's go to lunch and like we walk down the street with my kid to go to lunch and We he probably had us there about four hours four or five hours. That's awesome Also the week before he got married so he was busy with a lot of stuff and he was just a really cool guy Also the week before he got married so he was busy with a lot of stuff and he was just a really cool guy

That's great. What does mode does mode jang mean anything? I don't know. Was it just like a word they made up? I have no idea. It's a question. It's a really good question, but I was commenting in the journal that JD actually got to contribute to He's nine and he got to contribute to part of the 1.8 update from Minecraft Where there's these new mobs called Enderman, which it's a really cool thing. Notch does a lot of studying of like theory of like cinema and gaming where he talked about how fear is not the feeling of being attacked, but the feeling of about to be attacked. And I'm paraphrasing here from memory. So he does this thing where the way the Enderman attacks you, they're these big dark creatures,

they're black and they have glowing eyes, is they't do anything they just completely ignore you until you put your cursor on them And you look at them then they turn and look at you But they don't do anything they stare at you while you're staring at them and then the moment you look away They come running after you nice, so it's the I tell you that it's the idea that they see you Yeah, exactly. It's almost like a like an animal. It's like, you know, don't look it in the eyes Yeah, and don't challenge it and then they immediately spin and look at you when you look at them. That's creepy.

Yeah, it's really creepy. And so JD was watching not try to run away from this group of Enderman and not to be saying, I gotta find a way to kill these things. And he was running near water and JD said, well, what if they died if they went in water? So now Enderman die if they go into water. But it's cool.

Yeah, so I mean, it's I read out the autobiography of Bill Gates and he said that he got into computers because he was a kid who didn't have many interests. But back in the day when Bill Gates was a kid, he had access to a computer and nobody else did. And he was his parents were by him time on the computer. That's how old it is, that's how long ago this was. And he just got an interest in computers

because he was always a smart guy. And this was something that leveled the playing field form. In other words, he was a kid, but he could do something that adults could do. And they had the same rules the adults did. And that's how he fostered his interest in computers and technology. Interesting way to look at it.

Yeah, and so, you know, reading about that, it was just like, you know, you just want to give your kids as much opportunity as you can to put them in a place where they get the foster the things they like so that was fun it was a lot of fun. So that's why you you bought computer parts letting JD put put a machine together. Yeah well I also brought another child with me on the trip because we're over in Europe so I thought why don't I just buy Gavin a ticket and Gavin join us from from one one of the Gavin came along this trip. Gavin is a fucking idiot I mean he is so dumb

See we we're in a real big problem here because Sweden is not on the euro They're part of the EU, but they're not on the euro. I didn't know that they had the Swedish Krona is what they use fancy and so we had to we had to not that you know The UK is not on the euro either, but somehow they're still through Gavin off completely So we had to calculate every time we purchase something we had to calculate how much it cost I had to calculate how much it cost because Gavin doesn't pay for Fucking anything. You notice about Gavin. Yeah, he doesn't pay for shit Anyway, so the way we established this was we stepped off the plane in Stock home which by the way it looks like an idea their airport everything is blue and yellow Yeah, everything's blue and yellow and it's got the like the

We're floors and Alan wrench exactly. There's arrows very sparse spartan decorations and the first thing we saw Got out there was one of those like the deli stands and they had a sandwich for 69 Corona, 69. It looks like a $69 sandwich is what it looks like. But that then became our basis for the entire economy of Sweden. So everything was- Everything was that guy, he has no idea the ramifications that he had on your trip. Right, so everything was-

Everything was measured in the sandwich. Yeah, a beer is a sandwich in a hat. It cost 35 sandwiches a night to measured in the sandwich. Yeah, it's like a beer is a sandwich in a half it cost 35 sandwiches a night to stay in the hotel Everything was it did so Gavin did all this calculations the entire time. I got to look up how much with the exchange rate on that is now so So Damn was like he's like okay. This is 85 Corona. That's let's say I went in like half a This is a 180 Krona. That's three sandwiches. Okay So it means it is walled to look to find three sandwiches is the way that he would pay for everything or

Or nothing yet or he wouldn't reach into a wall He would reach into my wall to find three sandwiches. He's a different thing He reached into your wall for you or which listen man I can I can get down with an economy that's based on sandwiches because that's something I understand that's a a Basic stable life to around the sandwiches. You could also something I understand. That's a basic staple of like, to-it-around sandwiches. You could also eat the money. Yes, true. It's like the money has a dual purpose.

The money actually does something. It's not just a piece of paper with someone, some dead president on it. And you could spend all day making money by just making sandwiches for people. $69, Corona is about $10 and 33 cents. That's an expensive sandwich. That's an expensive sandwich.

Yeah. $10. Listen, if you ever travel anywhere now outside the US because the dollar sucks so bad, Expensive, yeah, that's an pretty shitty. Yeah, yeah, I've been to London once and I had the exact same phenomenon where it's like, everything's fucking expensive. Oh wait, no double the fucking price. Yeah, wow, just for the basis of a currency. I'm going to London again next month. Yeah, you're going to London MCM expo, right? London expo. October, I want to say 28th to 30th. You're also going to be at New York Comic Con. The week before that, right? That's why I bring it up.

I will be in your Comic Con. Yeah. Like two weeks before that October 14th. And Michael, are you going to New York Comic Con? I am. How does the exchange rate work in New York? It's the same thing double everything. They're also on the dollar. Yeah, Joel was supposed to go with me to New York Comic Con, but I guess he's he's going with you to Australia

And you do it instead now Fucking bitch. There's October 13th. It's actually when the expo start. Oh, sorry. It's like 13th to for going to 12 October 13th to 16th for New York. Joel is a fucking bitch. He is a bitch There's no other word for Joel. He's just a bitch. He complains about everything He's going to Australia. He's never been to us. He's going to Australia and apparently I owe him somehow. Yes, he backed out of the trip. He's going on with me and he's like, yo, me, yo, what the fuck are you? You're making him go to Australia. I didn't make a new shit. He's gonna have to fight. He's a big boy. He's like, I'm gonna go to Australia. I'm gonna go to New York. He's going to fucking volunteer.

He's a little child, complaining constantly about everything. I think we're glutton for punishment, Gus, because we put him on the schedule for conventions. He volunteered. And we know as soon as we put him on it, who are we gonna get to replace Joel for not going on the strip? I used to be more like that,

because I would like, oh, I have production, I have to do it. Which I technically is why Joel is doing it as well. Joel is, he has some work coming up, and especially in the fourth quarter, he can have a lot more work, but he is gonna go and he's, he's honoring his commitment to go to Australia and New Zealand.

He's gonna have a great time. Hell yeah, he is. It's gonna be a great trip, but he's gonna be miserable. So I will be appearing with Joel Hayman, the voice of Caboose at Melburn, Armageddon, and that is October, that's not it, days. It's like October, I want to say 17.

If you're in Germany, it's September. October 9th. I think it's October 19th. Yeah, I think it's right. Don't you have a calendar right there? Pull it up. I don't want to use my computer because I don't want to. I got you up the recording.

And in the week after that, we will be in Auckland for also Armageddon, correct? Yes. We'll be in Auckland, New Zealand, to participate in that convention there. So, if you live in Australia, or New Zealand, which Michael, are two totally distinct countries,

and you should know that. Right, obviously. Obviously. Yeah, the weekend of... The 22nd and 23rd is Melbourne, and I believe the 28th to the 30th is Auckland. And not to insult the people who live there. It's actually pronounced Melbourne.

Yes. And there will also be a number of events for RTIs, which is the RTI Australia fan event that is being thrown at the exact same time. And if you want to find out about that, you should go to Ruchit.com RTOZ, I believe it is. Yeah, well, it will be in the LinkedIn and if you have the intense podcast,

it will be clickable on the podcast right now. And that is run by some very dedicated people and they have a lot of cool stuff going on for that. So if you live in Melbourne or if you live in your body, Melbourne, say, Adelaide, or perhaps in the Netherlands, no, we're close perhaps, Sydney, or Perth, which is right nearby. You just come on over. It's a train, isn't it? It's a closer, you can get on, and connect them all.

Yes, that is correct. I don't know, I actually don't know if there's any way to get from Perth to Australia. I think, or to the rest of it. I think you have to go to like Asia to get to the rest of Australia from Perth. No, you can fly. The whole continent, you know Australia is a continent country.

Did you know that? Yes, okay. So the whole continent, the east side of Australia is where like Sydney and then wrapping around the bottom where Melbourne, Melbourne, excuse me, is, and it's all like coastal, it's all like along the coast. That's the pointy part of the smooth part.

That's the rounded part on the right. It's like the butt. Okay. It's the butt of the country. Okay, then there's the middle part of the country where I mean, it's like 90% of the country, there's nothing. I'd go higher than that, it's like 95% of the country. Yeah, and then way out in the western tip is Perth,

and that's pretty much, it's crazy. It's crazy how much of that country's not positive. There out the western tip is Perth and that's that's pretty much It's crazy. It's crazy how much of that country's not positive There's also like some stuff up in the northeast like I think Brisbane's up there Mm-hmm and there's also Adelaide which is more in the center, but also coastal It will also be approaching spring when we go down there Michael all right, we're just trying to educate you Beautiful weather here nice. Why don't they just like move all their shit together All right, we're just trying to educate you You're gonna cross over here nice. Why don't they just like move all their shit together

Make it easier like you know, there's one city. They're caught in it. Why not make it like the Matrix You know, they have like what is it Zion and they're like this is the one city It's very interesting. You said it because the Matrix was filmed in Sydney Say if I could try and get the movement going nobody caught on when you go to Sydney It's a little creepy because it looks like the city in the matrix and everyone wears like dark clothes It's pretty much I mean, yeah, it's kind of like New York where everyone wears Everyone wears black for some reason. I don't know why and also people dress up more so you feel like you're in the matrix Hmm, I'm not dressing up. Fuck it when I go do it. Come on. Yeah put on your fancy Gus

Why the fuck do you wear suit sometimes? I love it completely don't stop him. You keep it up. No reason whatsoever Why do you own a suit? He should always own a suit. Why wouldn't you own a suit? He's fucking educating you now. You have a suit? Why wouldn't you own a suit? I have a suit.

Now he's like several different color dress shirts. I guess I got taken advantage of this. I never think about it that way. We wore suits when we were two. No, remember I actually couldn't wear a suit. I got as dressed up as I could, but no one would sell me a suit because I said I was too tall and skinny Oh, get the fuck I'm dead serious. They were like we were we will not at least we cannot fit you for a suit

You're alive. I know we said nobody said you were no I went to three different places. They would not sell me a suit. They said I was impossible to fit Did you get you got fitted in all that? Yeah, like Your suit did they like What's that him the pants and all that shit? I actually can't all my suits I need new suits now because I've lost the amount of weight that I lost. Yeah, I They're gonna tell you the same thing now. Yeah, I'm sure they will. They're Unsuitable. Please get the fuck out. I don't think I fall in the two skinny category.

No, but I don't either anymore. What's that? I don't either anymore. Yeah, it's not the picture of gin and tonics every night when you go home, right? It's just the marriage part. That's fucking there's no calories there. That the alcohol that's in count. You know, tonics every night when you go home right it's just the marriage part that's fucking there's no calories there that the alcohol that doesn't count that you know tonics like soda yeah no yeah I know I know you know I read actually recently that people say that it's it's when people get beer bellies it's not normally from the beer itself it's from all the snacking you do as you drink no it sounds like theories I'm just saying I mean beer is like a carb drink it's what it is then yes and if you're drinking again Guinness, fuck it's like eating bread

Yeah, with your coin of Brandon has no calories or no nutritional value We work with a lot of idiots. You know, I was oh During during crunch which is going on right now for season nine of red versus blue I'm gonna say I'm gonna say season nine of red versus as much as I can now that I realize we have 2.4 million listeners. Right. But uh, I, I, I, we, when we built this place, I thought we had just come off of Crunch from season 8. And so I thought, okay, we're gonna build some stuff out here that we need to have. Like we built a shower in here and we actually have a washer and dryer here at the office so that people can do laundry at the office if they happen to be working late. I actually kind of feel conflicted about that because I don't want people to, I don't have an atmosphere where I was like saying, hey, you make work your life for anything like that.

But I do recognize that the people who work here just also tend to like to hang out here for a long time too because we have lots of video games stuff and just fun stuff going on. So anyway, that was all preface to me saying that I had to, I stayed overnight here a couple of times during crunch and I would shower in the office. Good luck at that image out of your head. The towels that we have here remind you of another stupid fucking thing that Brandon did. Oh right.

We first moved into this office. This building had not been occupied for like two years. And so there were things we discovered about the building. Like after we first moved in, a rain storm hit, believe it or not, actually rains in Austin sometimes. And this window right here in particular, Michael, this window leaked. And it was leaking to a window.

Yeah, yeah. It's a visual reference. And it leaked water here down this wall and all over the floor, we actually had to kind of fix the drywall after we got the window repaired. But we were kind of panic, because it was raining really hard. And there was water leaking in.

And so Brandon jumps up and says I'll go get some towels. We just moved in here We didn't have anything to like mop up all this water. We're putting fans on it And I'll go get some towels and it will mop up the the water that's on the floor So it comes back with 10 brand new red towels to like put on the wet floor on the carpet He's not gonna understand why this is a bad idea I don't think half of our audience is gonna understand why it's a bad idea to put carpet to put brand new red towels on the wet floor on the carpet. He's not gonna understand why this is a bad idea. I don't think half of our audience is gonna understand why it's a bad idea to put carpet, to put brand new red towels on a wet floor on a carpet. But Brandon like thought he just like

the color red and so he got that. So when I was taking a shower I saw all their red towels and thought, what a fucking idiot. They swim the red blood. It'll bleed all over the fucking place. A brand new towel, like if you had to pick one color that you wanted for the towels to not bleed, you would definitely not pick red. Yeah, that's probably the worst possible choice. And we just laughed at him, he's like, what? I don't know. I don't know, why would I know that?

I'm not stupid because I didn't know it. It's like the dumbest defense ever. In a sense, though, it's like a typical bachelor mistake to not know that red stuff is gonna bleed all over everything else. There I guess. I'm not defending that asshole, though. So now that I've made fun of Joel and I've made fun of Brandon,

can I go do my commentary? You wanna get some, show you, tag you out with somebody else? No, no, we'll wrap this shit up. No, no, no, I'm not letting that happen. I'm not letting that happen. Because last time when I fight you, last time I was responsible for extending the podcast, and then we had the guest appearance by Jeff at the end of it.

So, we're not going from an hour and a half podcast down to a 40 minute podcast. What are we at now we're not going from an hour and a half podcast down to a 40 minute podcast. What are we at now? We're at like an hour and a half. No, I'll fuck down. What are we at? We're at 36 minutes. Okay, so let's talk about Joel then.

Let's go back to talking about Joel. Oh, well, we're fast before we talk about Joel. I wanted to talk about this thing. It's out of my sight, so I can't see it. Someone sent us a little drunk tank model, like the drunk tank. It was, uh, was this Jack 046984 on the website. It's pretty cool. I'm going to put a picture of it in the in the link. Don't see. All right. It shoots booze at you. Well far away.

I always wonder when people find our podcasts like on iTunes or randomly, like who are the people who don't know about the drunk tank who find it who are looking up for drunk podcasts? Yeah, Marshall had a theory that the video podcast helped new people find it like people who are only on like YouTube Yeah, I think it's possible because if we looked at that quarterly growth in downloads it seems like like between Q1 and Q2 of this year there was a big growth and that we did the video podcast in March. You sound like a businessman.

Or quarterly reporting. Look at Crenshaw and the numbers and the year over year. What got his time? Do you have a forecast for Q4? More. Big. Yeah, what he's trying to say is the bar was little and then it got bigger.

Exactly. Are you in the comments? I looked at it. Did you forget how to work? I looked at the graph. The bar got bigger each time it got further to the right then it got bigger. Exactly. Are you in the comments? I looked at it. You figured out how it worked. I looked at the graph. The bar got bigger each time. It got further to the right. It got taller.

It's called growth. Right. And we're filing. We're filing and giving Netherlands in the top 10. Like guarantee. We're hoping. Now that Netherlands is a huge country for, isn't it? Netherlands, where, where's the pirate bay?

That's Sweden, isn't it? Yeah, I think it is Sweden. Yeah. I read that the pirate party, I think it is Sweden. Yeah. I read that the Pirate Party, I don't understand how the politics works, but hey, look, we're talking about Germany now, that the Pirate Party got enough votes to get representation in the Germany, federal government in Germany, yeah. They have one representative.

Like, they got like 8.8% of the vote or something. Who is that, Jackass? I mean, the picture of all the politicians is like a bunch of dudes in suits and they're like one dude sitting at the end and like a black hoodie with like long hair. He's like, he looks like a deer in the headlines. He's like kind of shrunked in like a turtle. He's like, he's actually retracted.

We're getting around. He's like like a D20 to figure out. He wants to vote. He's got a brand-in here. He'll be brand-in here. So, Brandy Kagan, I was ridiculing you. Do you remember we first moved in this building and this window right here was leaking? Yeah, and who called to get a fixed you called to get a fix

You also ran out to buy towels for us to mop up the water You remember the problem with the towels that you bought? Yeah So I was saying that While we're here while we're here for crunch. I saw the big stack of red towels and I thought of you While we're here for Crunch, I saw the big stack of red towels and I thought of you. Funnily, I thought how far we come. I didn't just grab those towels either. I sat there and thought, what color towels. What color towels are we gonna put on the floor?

He acted like a wet floor. Like, you know, white towels is just like, you see what disgusting things are on them, like, especially around this office. I was like, I'd rather be ignorant. I'd rather just see us around this office. I'd rather be I'd rather be ignorant I'd rather not see us around this off I'd rather than look at a towel. I'm probably like wow. He's just coming in if it's white You can at least you're like oh, it's dirty. I need a wash that it's always gonna be dirty guys It's always gonna be dirty. No, no, no, but it's rather not sick. It created a huge a

It was a problem. Yeah, I have in the right towels. Yeah, it was a problem. Yeah, well we still have right now I mean is there a particular color of towel Well, we still have red towels. But they're nice now. I mean, is there a particular color of towel you do you only use white towels? Yes. Is that true? Yes. Michael, when you buy a towel, it doesn't really give a shit. You know, give a shit.

I have a shit load of red towels. Like red towels. I had a really stupid discussion with Harlem one time where when we were in college, he had a red coke shirt. And you know, it's a coke shirt. So of course it's red. And he said to me that red cotton is the softest cotton. And he had a, he had a, get in here Joel. Get in here Joel. We're talking about you in Vegas and you being a bitch. Get in here. Get sit down. Pull up a chair. Joel, Joel, he's about to do it.

I don't have a chair for you, but he's working. He's working. He's working. He's working. He's working. He's working. He's working. Don't go ahead. What are you guys talking about? Don't go ahead. Pull up a chair. Sit your butt down. Sit your butt down. Sit your butt down. What?

So we're talking about how you tried to back out of Australia. And why you think you going to Australia, we now owe you something. You mean something. You owe me something. You owe me something. You owe me something. What? So Joel has this thing where we talked about the last possible. You owe me something. You're nothing. You're nothing. You're nothing. So Joel has this thing where we talked about last time.

You mean you mean something? Forget Australia. You just hope it's something just for whatever. Just for fun. Just for fun. Just for fun. Just for fun. Just for fun.

Carmically I owe Joel something. Yeah. Carmically. Well last week we talked about you and Jack going to Vegas and you were for sure going to cancel your trip to go to Vegas. But you somehow managed to go and Jack going to Vegas and you were for sure going to cancel your trip to go to Vegas But you somehow managed to go and you went to Vegas. Do you want to regale? You know, I just yesterday went to I was just aimed you guys this but real as you're in the podcast I just went to Bank of America and

I got a money order and They're like how much would you like the money order first or and I handed them $12,000 like how much would you like the money order first or and I handed them $12,000. If it's ball money. And they were like, and that's what you'd be back with? Yes. And they were like, would you like to open an account? And I was like, well, I can't open an account because you guys are insolvent and going out of business. Nice. Yeah. And then they looked at me funny.

And then it was just awkward. Yeah. When you tell someone in the face they're going out of business while they're at Warner, they seemed a little troubled about it. Yeah, how many jobs they cut? 30,000, 30,000. Not enough bank of America. You have to cut a lot more than that. They're gonna try and cut more a lot of that. It's not gonna work.

They bought the country money. They bought country money. They fired every fucking person I dealt with over there when I was dealing with my mortgage. They're going under. Fuck them. They're going under. In the butt. Word Buffet bought all these, uh, Word Buffet bought in a bank of America at $7 a share.

He's losing. That was bad. Word Buffet doesn't know he's doing. I said, Word Buffet doesn't know he's doing. He said it. I call him out. If only he was listening to the same podcast. You listen to the whole thing.

If only he was listening to us. You'd be ahead of it. I went through and I listened. I listened for banging table sounds. You take banging table sounds out. Yep, you do not He does he works very hard. Why do you do that banging table sounds are part of the presentation? No, no I take it all out fucking clean unfiltered Gus Clean unfiltered guys. I don't want to hear the table banging sounds is like the drag pauses and the cute emotion And you're like listening and all of a sudden there's like a fucking,

it's like you're getting punched in both ears at the same time. Really? Yeah, you don't want that. That's 2.4 million people who listen to this podcast. We could be, that's a high quality. That's not what you should do. You should invest in hearing aids and then bang on the table all the time. There we go.

I will cut it out and we'll split the profits. We get Jolla Pop filter for his mic too. He's too excited. Oh yeah, there's no Pop filter for that. So listen, Master of Distraction and Deflection. You were telling a story about Vegas and then somehow you got on a fucking bank of America's insolvency. How the hell did you make $12,000 in Vegas?

You were down. It was... He contacts me. He contacts me. Friday night. He got to Friday. He contacts me Friday night. They're out of money. He's completely broke I was cryptic test about a guy named Jerome

You guys were I am being back and forth and Bernie was like well, let me know if you need some like money Right, which I was like yes, this will be great. I mean because we can need as many people in on this as possible For more fun because I wish it all pulled our money together right that way we're all invested you know we're all invested in the truth of it he thought that was an investment it's alone you don't invest in you know I'm an emotional fun investment like oh will Joel pay me back like that's a good time yeah I know I just gave him like lots of love I'm not investing you in that level I'm emotionally unavailable to you like're like oh the exotic medic face So let me paint this picture for you. So it's Friday night at about 10 p.m

Because they're you know, they're two hours right you guys are two hours off So by 8 p.m. They're time they were already busted and a complete lot of money and he blamed some guy named Jerome I guess that's all I got was a cryptic text who I thought Jerome was a dealer because you blame the dealer When they took Asian guy from Vancouver and he had the dice he was rolling and he did not do a very good What a scumbag he didn't do it So he was totally I you're betting on crap. I was betting on crap that was after he failed a blackjack because blackjack is Joel's game Yeah, it was bad because None of the decks would go positive. They just wouldn't go positive.

So you just sit there for hours and hours and hours and they would go positive. You just sit there and it's awful. Which Joel is saying something very specific there by the way, he'd be camphors, but the decks did. He didn't win money, is what he's saying. I was pretty. What were you guys talking about before I came in here?

You're talking about you. It was looking at me funny now. You're not talking a conversation about how you trying to bitch out of the Australia trip. So he calls me Friday night at 10pm. I get this call or just text saying we might need money. So I have to get hold of money and figure out a way on Saturday while you're money to them in Vegas. Which he thought was an investment. It was a loan.

Emotional investment. So I'm in my kid soccer game. I'm I'm repping a soccer game for the game. I'm I'm roughing a soccer game I'm roughing a soccer a accountant at man to lay Bay trying to figure out a wire money. That is the worst bad influence that I've ever been in my life Refing a game a soccer infrastructural to while trying to wire money to Vegas. I do suburban volatile Parents a kids let you get away with wrapping a game on the cell phone. Oh, I know Sure, I'm fucking who cares. It's like you just push it all the time

You put them out there so they fucking get tired. They're just like running around in circles Work out that energy I don't know what would what happened where it's like you can't be on a cell phone or a restaurant now or whatever Fuck that fuck that. We're in the future. We should have a cell phone at a wherever we want I mean we should stop making rules where it takes a cell phone away from us When we were to do stuff we should be able to have a cell phone On all the time I would be okay with it if people weren't fucking jackasses who talk at five times They're normal speaking volume when they're on a cell phone or they don't understand the person in front of you

Takes precedence over the personal phone right also. That's another thing when the cell phone slows down the service I agree with that I agree with that but don we all, I guess we don't all understand. No, no, no there's signs that say like don't touch the high voltage lines. Right. That's why the 10-term amnesty are simple shit like don't kill people, you know. That's the people who are animals back then. They needed to be told this kind of stuff. What I don't understand is if you're on a phone, you're walking with people, everybody's talking, then you all go on the elevator.

And if you stay on your phone, everyone else gets silent. Everyone's silent. They're like you're in an elevator. They're in an elevator. Everybody quiet because someone's on the phone. We need to make this a zopper to solve this. Elevators are not for talking unless they're strong people in it. You shut up and you stand there.

You just wait for your door to open and you get to fuck out. That's it. You're not for talking to much different worlds, man. Not for topic of conversation. Or you don't make best friends in the fucking elevator. At PAX you started making very inappropriate sexual jokes to the old people that were in the elevator. I don't remember that.

You need to have limits. Why? We need to have limits Why we need to step boundaries for this kid? It was awful What did you do? I really don't remember that we're in the That all the time. I don't remember it might have been a big deal for you guys. It was super It was awful he started talking to one of our business points of contact over Twitter. I was like listen to me You behave yourself. Mm-hmm. Don't fuck this up

of our business points of contact over Twitter, I was like, listen to me, you behave yourself. Don't fuck this up. That's like if you're young, you don't give a fuck, and then you get middle aged, and you give a fuck, and then you get old, you don't give a fuck again. It's like a bell curve. You know what I got? I'm out of fucks giving over time.

You know what I got out of that conversation, Bernie? I got to follow right there, building bridges. So then you can later burn them. Burn them. When you just don't show up to work one day one day exactly and you're gone. Is Michael alive? Is he dead? Oh, I think you made a quit maybe Don't you never know successful trip to Vegas?

Unsuccessful trip to Vegas. Why we trip to Vegas successful because it's fun. There you go. It's fun That's loser talk That's loser talk right there. So it wasn't, no, I mean, it was, it could have been bad. It could have been a blood bath and it was fine. So Mr. Armageddon financial armageddon, you came back with $12,000. That is a ridiculous amount of money. So you come back with these winnings from Vegas. It's in cash, US dollars, which we know you hate because you're a communist.

Why would you then get a money order? Because you're sending it to your bank? Yes, so you have one of these like male banks Yes, we do mind saying what your bank is it's USA. Okay, I'm really sure they haven't done anything stupid with the money I hope they haven't I hope USA is not bought country-wide financial or anything like that Why would you not take your cash and just buy literally go by gold? There are places in Austin where you can go and buy gold over the internet. There's gold ATMs, right? I'm not to the point where I feel like I need to buy physical gold. You're not giving them that I don't think we're to that point if we get to that point yet like I always say who the fuck you're gonna give that gold to right if we get to that point They're gonna want to see that mean they are

Distance sandwiches in there are companies that You should buy like a pig and a cow. They're gonna keep them in your backyard. That's a book of business. You can buy, where you can have gold and they store it and they give you like a Visa card that trades off of that gold. So, every time you don't... They almost spend it, they take a ship off. So you literally have like a personal gold standard.

Well, you can't, I don't have it, but... You're back by gold. It can be done. People done it. It's a lot easier, but you're back by gold. It can be done people can people done it people It's a lot easier apparently in Europe or whatever it's not more difficult over here to get done You reminding me of something I went to target last night to buy some household items no just house holdings frying pan if you want to know you want to get into my business? Okay, you want to get to know you here Bernie. That's the point of the podcast so every time you go to target

You can check out every time they ask me for one I fucking sign up for the Target card. I hate that. I can't stand it. Guys, I can't see. I want to get a shirt that says I don't want to sign up for your store credit card. We were going to make a shirt that said that. Yeah. We were going to make a shirt that it had all of these things. And that all the inconvenient things you don't want to deal with in your life and in your point, you're sure. And like every single website you go to now, it's like, oh, we we accept fund dollars. Just give us a thing and sign up for the fund dollars and five of the account. Now a newsletter. But look, I hate that they always try to pitch the store credit card to you at Target. We we accept fund dollars just give us a thing and sign for the fund dollars and five of the account now newsletter But look I hate that they always try to pitch the store credit card to you at target

But they have the best credit card processing system ever. It is so fucking fast You can you like you swipe your card and you're done like you as a receipt in your hand before you know it I like that It's probably because they just like don't really actually authorize it. They're just like what's the risk here? You know everyone who goes everyone who goes to the target is spending, like, can you get out of target with spending less than $100? Is that possible to do that?

Yeah, it's like Home Depot. If I sit, I can't, if I don't go with my wife, I go by myself. Home Depot's bad. Home Depot's bad, cause it's just like weird stuff. Like look at that lamp that you can install into your wall. I have to have that, you know,

I want everything in Home Depot. Yeah, it's a $100 cover charge. Every time you go in a Home Depot. Yeah, it's, don't go to a store. He's, it's I'd want everything in Home Depot. Yeah, take a hundred dollar cover charge every time you go to Home Depot Yeah, don't go to a store. He's just that's it It's good to slick deals. It's true. It's like you're way away from the US. That's Chris This dummy's buying a house brain is buying a house. I don't buy a house. Oh, you buy really been inquiring Are you buying a house? I know nothing about anything like 401k. No, you could stop it I'm about investments about

401k no you can stop it about investments Don't know or ages. Do not think about a house is an investment. Don't get that right. Yeah, don't buy house All right, but unless you want I unless you want to spend money and lose I mean unless you want to like not have money Buy and you want a house if you want to have I'm like that with cars cars make no sense But I want a car I'm not getting any return on that But if you like you're not gonna get a return a good return on it You're not gonna have a return on that, but if you like, you're? It's earned my fun in this one. Maybe you'll get it back, maybe you won't. Are you still car-less? Since your car was destroyed?

I've been driving around and, oh my god, this fucking truck, dude. It's like a 12-point turn to do anything. Like at a stoplight, I have to stop and go back up. I mean, that truck is impossible to drive. Like the inversion thing that you did, the reason why that truck was hard to drive wasn't because the windows were blacked up It was that fucking truck. It's like 40 feet off the ground. It's giant I I bought a truck a year ago, and I turned my old truck over to the company to be our production truck doing here something funny Yeah, well, how I thank you for letting you use the truck while you fucking wreck your car the truck they even the truck that we've built in version with

The version would have been much funnier What is funny, Joel tell me your friends never mind. What did you did you wreck my truck? No, he got my truck towed He got my truck towed in his apartment complex He calls me up and he makes me a hassle like you owe him because of that Gus let me ask you this you had a call in the middle of the weekend like on a Saturday afternoon is hey What's the thin number of your truck? I don't fucking know the vending number of my truck is and he's like Bernie don't don't worry about it But what is the make model in year?

Why don't you exist in the next year and expect him? You know those fuckers they were like I went to the office and they're like okay We'll give you a temporary sticker, but don't stick the sticker in the windshield because we need the sticker back. Like, they can't waste the 10 cents on the sticker. Right. So it's like, they would let me stick the sticker in the windshield. They're like, just place it.

And of course, placing, of course, it fell out. And of course, they, so they told me. You know, one time I lived in the small apartment complex here in Austin, I have an infield. It was like 10 units or something. And the ownership of the apartment changed Austin. I'll have an field. It was like 10 units or something. And the ownership of the apartment changed. And we all had assigned parking. And when the ownership changed, the new owners didn't get the list of

whose parking spot was who's from the old owners. So one day there's just a car parked in my parking spot. I'm like, well, that's inconvenient and sucks. So I park like I guess parking. The next day I come back, I cars in my parking spot again. Like well, that sucks. The next day I come back and do my spot again. So I just start, I called and I have them sucks The next day I come back and they read my spot again, so I just start I called and I have him toad And apparently the power complex had given my spot to someone else to my new next door neighbor What a great way to meet people so I had them toad and I got I got I got yelled at now

I was like you give my fucking party space away. Yeah, that's totally justified. I mean I never I have a question Did they know they're Vin number? They're car off the top of the truck the I feel like I had never to anyone Like I hate I mean if you park in my spot I'm gonna heat you for a lot of tons of you Why you did rules mostly follow yeah, that's my spot again I'm I mean West campus West of University of Texas. It's like for you for all Somebody if someone takes your parking spot you You got no option The thing is it's true me. I want to stab them in the face. Yeah, like I mean I want to stab them in the face

So if I to someone I expect that someone's gonna try stabbing the face I always see the thing is you're not physically doing it. You're just calling someone Yeah, but you enjoy it like I enjoyed towing them if I It was awesome if I ever made enough money I've written off you know what I would do I said I would retire and do for a living I would buy a big toe truck and I would tow tow trucks away That's great all that And I would say yeah to pay me to get your car back. Sorry. I just didn't like the way you marked it Yeah, yeah, and like they everything they do is dickish like there's lots are always I got to for my old apartment complex for whatever reason

Which was way up north and of course a lot was way down south now in a man south they told it from Guess what? It's way up north. They go the farthest possible. The farthest possible place and they have the worst hours to get your car out and so it's just like it's not like a legal thing They just like I have a big truck that means I can take away your car And everything was a pain to ask come to the window. I got I had to go film for me to fill up the update for release book Oh, I need to get back. Oh, we don't accept credit cards Did you say I have a $12,000 money order?

I can't have this gold That I'm willing to trade you for my car This is valid currency and it's worth stuff. So what are you gonna do with $12,000? What do you mean it just goes back? It just goes back into the account. This goes back into brokerage. My God, dude. That is an enormous amount of money. Hopefully by a car.

That's the biggest amount of money I've ever heard of anyone come back from Vegas. That I know personally. I'm curious about Dobe's who. Yeah. It was perfect because Bernie, I know, I know Bernie was so happy. He was so happy. And he texted me a message. He texted me a message. So are you broke yet?

And as it happened I happened to have taken a picture at that moment I had a perfect response nice. I was disappointed. I was disappointed Yeah, I think I've said on the podcast before but one time I was ordering a drink at the bar at the Bellagio And they were like video poker stations and I was standing there waiting for my drink and the dude next to me just like Clapsy goes Yes, and I look over and he had a royal flush in the video poker machine and it was he just won 30,000 dollars A couple claps. Yeah, that's all he did use goes yes And then the bartender comes over and it's here to come over and they look at it and they like take him away See the reason why he was only like yes is because he's probably like 40,000 the whole video poker

So it was like like, yes, is because he was probably like 40,000 in the whole world. He was like, only $10,000 left. God, you know, the guys we play poker with some nights, one of them is Aaron Flash. His wife, there's this weird rule about that table. If you sit down at that table for the first time, you will clean up. Like the first time we said that poker table just do enormously well, especially if they're girls. Yeah. To prove that. Four girls who come play poker flashes.

I agree. I agree. That sentence just sounded good. Yeah, I'm here some way. His wife sat down to play poker with us finally after months of us playing at their house. She got a royal, I've never seen that before. She got a royal flush sitting down at the poker table.

That's awesome. I've never seen that before. I've never seen that before. I've got a royal flush from those guys. Did you really? I got a four of a kind from them, and I've never had a four of a kind. It's like how they beat you in You somehow They got all system that makes me happy cuz those guys are really cool and really nice But when it comes to poker, they're so hostile towards new players

I was just like they just like kept complaining about so and so and so because like you know They don't know how to play it on play. I was like shit. I gotta get the fuck out But at the end you're born. You're just like born knowing how to play poker But don't you never think of the process at the end of the first time? I'll give you like the executive host card and I'll try and make you sleep with them Well, they have a buffet too. We've had some bad experiences with first-time players too We had a guy who worked at a local video store that somebody came and played with us. We're playing poker, right?

The game lasts from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m., okay? So we're playing poker. That's what you do. It's about 10.30. And the guy had like six good hands. He goes, well, I'm up, so I'm just going to cash out and go. That's the way fun you're not playing that long. It's like, it's the fine line where it's like poker etiquette versus like, well, these are friends of you. There's the way you're not looking for a line. It's a fine line where it's like poker

etiquette versus like, well these are friends. There's no foggy. You don't do that. You play through the game. You don't go, I'm up, I'm leaving. You don't go to a baseball game. It's like, what's fifth inning? We're up 10 points. We're going to get it. You're up 10 points in the baseball game. Yeah. Points. Ten runs. Come on on Same thing Okay Trying to catch me So he got all upset over my visa my M sounding the same because my Did you not make a block host block host

You're a lot of posts on the main page of the website when I miss both That was a big deal you said JFK discovered the moon Oh No, no, no, no, you said he launched the moon It's already launched the moon. He launched the moon obviously misspoke Point and runs can be the same thing Point is a more generic term JFK of launching. Jf had nothing to do with the launching I understand Jf kid that was rose about everybody knows

It was part of the new deal Yeah, well, I was thinking Teddyburn's a little actually. Oh, I'm telling you it can never mind It was part of the creation of the national parks. There you go exactly like Mount Rushmore and the moon We needed something up there night the sun was getting too much glory. You're looking at the Joel. Okay, I'm about to go because I also have to do my uh my uh commentary for season nine of Rivers Blue. But you there's three of you guys. There's no reason why you can't continue and give 2.4 million listeners a few more minutes. It's got to be on. Yeah, we're giving pure unfiltered guests. All right. Well, good luck with your commentary, Bernie. Thanks, dude. Don't forget your drink.

Gus, that apartment complex you live that? Was that, uh, did you find that from the, uh, the rainman of apartment locators? Have you dealt with him? Well, he told me so much about him. I always wanted to call him that I've never, I've never talked, I've never talked to about that. Do you have an apply? I guess I'll talk about him right now. Uh, I don't know. I don't remember how I found this guy, but he's an apartment locator.

If you ever need an apartment in Austin, you should definitely use this guy. Because at first you call him and he meets you whatever and you're going to look at apartments and you think he's just wasting your time. Like he has this piece of shit car that stinks like gasoline and you're like, you think you're getting high from the fuse, you don't know what's going on. And he's like asking you all these weird personal questions and then like after an hour driving around in the city, like while he's talking to you interviewing you He goes I know the perfect apartment for you and he will take you the first department who takes you to is like the perfect place for you to live

And he and then so like he killed me find that one apartment then like two or three years later I wanted to move out of there. I wanted to rent a house. He's your son the fumes guess I call this same guy three years later, and I'm like, I want to rent a house. I'm gonna move out of this apartment. He comes to pick me up, he goes, I remember you. You had that sidekick phone, you had that cat, there's your truck, you remember, we looked at this place,

we looked at that, he remembered everything about me. And then when he saw it with me, he was like, oh, I know the perfect place for you. Come on, they're like, you took me to the house. In five minutes, he knew, like, are you sure this apartment locatorator not just like a Gus follower? No because When Monty moved here I referred this I've heard Monty to that guy and

Monty said the exact same thing happened to him that he was like the guy was it is time for an hour And then it was like shouldn't the first place you should was like bam bam. That's it So either you get really sick of the guy and you're just like happy to leave or he's you know he's incredible. He's really really good at finding you a place. I'll refer you to him if you're if you're ever interested in moving out from Jackson. Oh no I love it. I love it. This pod is sponsored by Rainman apartment located. Yeah yeah like I said he's like Rainman and then when we're driving around with him like he insists like anytime you've got a red light he insists on reading all the signs that the homeless people have begging for money

And like at one point I was like a Guadalupe in 45 and there was like some guy with a so almost guy with a sign And he's like looking at the guy reading the sign. He's like that guy signs different Like that's normal So much standard the standard homeless person sign that they give out and this guy was like, he's making his own sign? He can't do that. No, this is a rule. The homeless people sign union. To give the homeless chamber a commerce.

This guy's starting a revolution. Oh my god, the guy's fucking weird. Their signs are green. He's going for a green sign. Michael, do you just talk about how you went out last weekend? I did. I went out last weekend. You went out?

So Michael and Chris went out and they actually lived pretty close to each other. Took a cab back, right? And so they dropped Chris off, cab Joe's Chris off, and cabs you can take Michael home. Michael probably about five minutes away. And what happened exactly after that, Michael? I was extremely intoxicated and it was like two thirty in the morning and I like don't know the air at all even though I've been here for like a month and we were on the street to turn off to to get to Jack's house and there's like all this construction and shit and like

that's how you know it's coming up like there's a bunch of cones and shit like that and like that's somewhere up on the left. So the there's a bunch of cones and shit like that And I guess somewhere up on the left So the guy doesn't find it he clearly goes past it and he goes back and forth up and down the street like a bunch of times And he's like wait, where is it? Where is it? I'm like I just I just have the address like I just gave him the address I'm like there's the address go there a five a five dollar a five dollar ride turning to thirty Thirty-four dollars. Yeah, it was $32. And like, so how long have you been living there? You have no idea how to find it.

Yeah, so then the guy pulls over and like, looks at his phone and it's like, he didn't have GPS. He just had like maps on his phone. So he couldn't find it. And then after that didn't work, he fucking takes out like a physical map, which I didn't know existed anymore. He takes it out and I was telling somebody about this to like, wait, wait, like a map, like paper and I go from

fucking trees. That's what he pulled out to find the fucking place. And it was $32 when we got back. You paid for that map. Yeah, no shit. Hey, I had no desire to be on this podcast, but this is the rumor the liquor is. So I was coming in to get, because it's, it's 12 to 5. Yeah. So I was coming to get my lunch. And, uh, uh, I'm going to go for the Macau, the Macau on today. But I just like to say, one of my favorite things about Michael is that he's lived a sheltered, sheltered life that I'm discovering working with him, you know, living in his parents'

entire life. Everything is a first for him. Was that your first cab ride? Because I wouldn't be surprised. No, it was like Mike. Say a second, third. Something like that. Yeah. Oh, you know, we took a cab. It's you. Oh, did you? Okay. So he's a seasoned veteran now. That's part of it at first. Pretty, pretty professional. Everything's exciting. With him, he's like, this is him. Have you guys ever seen a mechanical pencil before? This is crazy. It's like a pencil. Dude, you push a button like a pen. It's like a pen. Exactly. See? Sometimes it breaks, so then See? I can get back in. See you know what I'm talking about. And then sometimes it breaks, so then you gotta get the long, you know,

lead and put it back in and you can like refill it. You don't have to sharpen it. That's the fucking, that's the future. Well, I'm gonna leave you guys with that. That sounds fascinating. All right, thanks. Have a, I hope you enjoy that liquor. Lunch.

Lunch. Well, I'm gonna watch him pick. You said the McCallum, try it over there in the back right? He said a tuck big game, the podcast. Now he is going for the like a William I'm not a big scotch fan myself no no you're like I don't like like people are like oh it's got like a good mossy taste or whatever like that just tastes like dirt to me PD yeah it tastes like dirt yeah that's not good nature is liquor though when you're a little kid you make fun of the kid who eats dirt unless you're the kid that eats dirt yeah then everyone, then everyone makes one of you. What a dumb adjutant, Masi. Like what about

that sense of healing? Yeah, I'm gonna go lick some rocks. That'd be awesome. Scotland, if you're listening, I apologize. They just don't know. Alright, have fun with that. I hope you get seconds. I'll be here. Let's wrap this shit up. I don't want to go too much longer because I know everyone's got a ton of shit to do and I'm fucking hungry. Flunch time. It's lunch time. Thank you for joining us, Brandon. Oh.

And YouTube. Over now, okay. Yeah. So don't forget we're going to be at New York Comic Con. Joel's not. I'm going to be a whole after find someone else to replace him now. I'll be at MCMX going London. And Bernie and Joel will be at Armageddon Expo, Melbourne, and

Auckland. I will also be there with them. Oh, you're going to be there. Why don't you sew a speed bike away, Teget? I'm not buying it. No, you haven't fucking credit card by yourself. Okay. No, I'm not.

Like, that's such a weird, like, long trip. Okay. That normally I leave it to the people making the trip, because it's such an inconvenient flight. There's no way I can make it Easy on you. So instead of me getting blank for it. I'll let you okay. I thought that was my way of finding out that my trip had been canceled No, no, no, no, yeah, no you're sure it will you you should Burnie will probably buy those tickets, but you all work that out. I'm not buying that ticket because that's fucking that's a crazy trip all right

Well, thanks listening everyone Describe the show to a newcomer in a more familiar way. Do you like apples? Example together in trepid hosts Characombs Characombs are free of Diaz of nothing to do with this podcast analyzed various unsolved and rooster teeth cryptic podcast face call to action feel free to add something show premise specific but short listen to show name on apple to be a part of the show. You can't just say, you're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show.

You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show.

You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show. You're not a part of the show you