Rooster Teeth Podcast - Rooster Teeth Podcast #24

Episode Date: September 21, 2009

Rooster Teeth sucker punches you on Monday morning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers, Will Arnett and Anthony Mackie comes a new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motor-mouthed outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland. If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church.

Twisted metal, streaming now, only on Peacock. There's a team, a randomly knocked on from the guys who brought you back to stay with us and everyone. In reconstruction, in recreation, in the Constitution. Yeah. Okay. Hey everyone, welcome to the Drunk Tank. How was that? I love that guy. How in the world did he find out the name for the next red versus

That's what I want to know. We got a league somewhere Constitution. Hello. I am Bernie burn. What I am Gav What are we doing? It's Monday. This is the wrong day We should be doing a podcast right now. I say what you're not doing is you're not introducing yourself. I said I'm Gus You said over Gavin. You're not listening. No one listens to you when Gavin is talking, so you know. Everyone's all like, they hear that British accent and they get all hypnotized. They're just waiting for me to start yelling at him again.

So this is bite-sized drunk tank, right? Yeah, yeah. So what do we do when we go to Gus? Well, I finally got a computer here at the office so I couldn't edit the podcast a little more efficiently. So we thought this week we would release a podcast every day Monday through Friday, but a shorter length, little 15 to 30 minute podcast. The drive safe edition. Yeah, the drive safe edition.

The drive home edition. Six and a half years into the company you finally got a computer. Yeah, so excited. Yeah, so excited. We finally have an ambitious plan to work every day this week. Yeah, the guy in charge of all the computers at the office finally has a computer. That took six and a half years. Oh this time you just been working on your laptop.

Yeah, yeah. I've been working on the supplier on computer edition. Well I couldn't have thought of a better week for y'all to do this because Gavin and I are getting on a plane and going to see a headl. So. Oh, DST. Yeah, we're going to the ODSD launch party. What is that in tail? That entails us getting on a plane and holding hands because I get scared and are in takeoff

Yeah, and then we land and holding butts C-TAC airport We get in a overpriced rental car and drive to something called the music experience is where they're holding this thing Huh is that in Seattle itself or I don't know. I don't know. Well, why would I why would I play in that far ahead? It's probably in Chicago and we're flying to Seattle Luckily your your phone a healthy figure it out. They got Wi-Fi on blanks now Americans Americans got Wi-Fi I don't think it does on that fly on that route. I had it coming back from packs. Excuse me. Oh look at that. Where'd you connect through? You mean data wiser for You mean, data wiser for next year. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no are under the luggage racks. That is an indication that that aisle, a row, excuse me, has power.

Welcome to five years ago. Well, hey, not everybody knows that. Not everybody flies as much as Mr. Gustaf's role. A little travel pro tip. What if it was a lightning safe seat? That would be better. How? I want to fuck it up, you.

You say the dumbest things. Why are you even in here? No, he doesn't say dumb things. He says things that make you mad, and that is funny to me. Yeah, there's still dumb things. So yeah, I can't believe ODST is already coming out. It seems like I've been waiting for this game forever. Are you going to go to midnight once to get a message?

No, I don't think I'll be going to a minute later. Actually, you know what? I pre-ordered that game from online. I pre-ordered that game through a banner ad on our website. I did the same thing. I should have done that. Yeah, I thought it was a search-and-drop scenario. I was like, I should support this. I wonder how the ad got up to two hits. Now we know. Two copies sold.

So, are you getting the version with the controller or just with the code. Just with the code. I tried to buy the version with the controller and they would no longer take pre-orders for that skew, as they said. What's a skew? It's, I don't know, it's like the lamest industry term ever. It just means a product. Okay. I heard another podcast where a developer was talking about his project as a skew He goes yeah, I've been working on this skew for like and I think Does that remove any artistic integrity when you're for your project that you're getting your life to as a skew? Yeah, a skew is literally by the way. It is the barcode

Yeah, maybe he didn't understand what skew meant Maybe he thought it like that was like the industry term for a game for a project right yeah yeah it means you know the little barcode the number that's a skew okay and so that that became like a unique identifier for a project that's why odst with the controller has a different skew okay then the oh halo odst also has a different skew than the loaf of bread I bought last night it's true it's true exactly but hey you're not allowed to play odst with your new ps3 regime you're gonna stand around And the Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo Odeo O What shut up listen this is my explanation and it's logically perfect. So bask in the glory of my intellect. We'll see a PS3 owner if he went to the Halo 3 ODST launch party would still be able to play Halo 3 He just wouldn't be able to play it at home. No, I I can play I can go to a friend's house and play

I can go to a launch party and play because it's open to the public So I feel comfortable doing that. I have a question then you said you can go to a friend's house and play I can go to a launch party and play because it's over to the public So I feel okay, I have a question then you said you can go to a friend's house and play can you play at the office then no That's like an unfair advantage. I think that we would have I Think you should be going to a PS3 launch and unexplored Damn it I think it's time for somebody to go back to Britain. So you're gonna go to this place and music experience. Experience, whatever the hell that means. And you guys are just gonna play ODSD for a couple hours.

Hell yeah. Is that the music experience? I don't really know. I think it's just a cool cultural event and I wanna be there. ODSD is such a good game. Is Nathan Philly I'm gonna be there? I don't know. That's a good question. Oh, is Trisha Health want to be there. Oh yes he is such a good game. His name's in Philly and I'm gonna be there. I don't know, that's a good question. Oh his treasure, he'll be there.

If he's a helper, he's gonna, is there. I'm not gonna be playing ODS today. He's dreaming. I gotta have priorities. I might, I might just be standing in the corner staring. Is Bill Gates gonna be there? He was at the Haylow Community Park. Yeah, that picture I have with Bill Gates

is from the Haylow 3 launch party. This one's done a little differently though. What's Bill Gates' game attack? I don't know. Big money. Bill in there. It's probably just one. No, that's it.

He probably is not coming out since it's not a Master Chief game. You only get Bill Gates' guns for Master Chief games. He's a bunch of those golden guns. Tata ta ta. Oh, yes, he gets bomber Wait, if they're if they're lucky, maybe they'll get bomber. I wonder if he does have a a gamer tag I've always heard that Bill Gates has a dedicated employee to handle his spam Have you ever heard that? Mm-hmm that his mailbox gets so much spam that he has just one person on staff It's probably an internet urban legend, but I've always heard that. What's his address?

I think it's bill.gates at Microsoft.com. Wow. He might have a hot mail account, I don't know. Willie G. A lot of guys put their stuff out there. I know Gabe Newell puts all of his information out there. He actually puts his email address in his commentaries for the game. Have you ever done any of those valve commentaries?

Yeah. Yeah, they're pretty cool. And then Mark Cuban always puts his email address out there. He's the owner of the Dallas Mavericks and the one-time owner of Broadcast.com. How's it about to say that? That was a calm success story right there. It might be the only one right now. No, no, no, there was a few. I'm not sure there's several, but here's definitely one of the bigger ones. Did you listen to all those Valve commentaries on on the half-life games? I did I thought that was also I've never seen that in a game before I agree have you have you seen that in the other game?

No, I haven't and I thought they were really cool. Yeah Yeah, first I thought they were kind of dumb But then I went back later and listen to them and they were really cool. Yeah, it's a great idea The left for dead one do you listen to those since you listen to the half-life ones? I didn't know that what? Was that just PC only? Maybe, I might be misremembering, but I know I definitely heard the developers talking about special infected that they didn't put into the game. I'm pretty sure that they're commentaries on the Xbox One. Yeah, and that was in a commentary.

I thought that, oh, I didn't even know. I'll have to check it out. I didn't even know. Have you ever heard about the screamer? Do you familiar with what that special infected was? You told me what the screamer was. I don't know anything about that. I wasn't looking for that.

He was a development level infected that ended up turning into the witch in the boomer. But what he was was he was a guy in a straight jacket. And when he saw the survivors, he would run away and run somewhere nearby and hide and he would start screaming at the top of his lungs and that would draw on Horde after Horde after Horde. So you'd go now you have to go and find him and kill him. Right. We'd have to hunt him down through the Horde and kill him. Wow that's cool. That sounds pretty good. But they turned his

attack into basically the Boomer Bile. The Boomer's Bile didn't attract the Horde initially. It was just against damage. Okay. And then they I guess modified him and made him into the witch. It's more akin to the spitter. Yeah. Yeah. Initially where you just you know, barked on you and you took damage. Now I'm so excited. Doesn't left for dead DLC come out this week also. It's the room. I don't want to officially announce, but the rumor is that it's coming out. Yeah, this Wednesday. Also, I think zombie apocalypse comes out. Yeah. And zombie apocalypse comes out too. We played that game at Comic Con.

What was that? What was that? What was that? What was that? What was that? What was that? What was that? What was that?

What was that? What was that? What was that? What was that? What was that? What was that? What was that? What was that?

What was that? What was that? What was that? What was that? What was that? What was that? What was that? But yeah, zombie apocalypse is like smash TV meets leopard it. It's like you you just move around and shoot with the two controllers And that's it. I like games like it's kind of like a geometry was yeah Yeah, and then like there's some some items in the game like you can use like zombie bait To like get the zombies away from you and you it's a really interactive environment. We're excited about that game You know speaking of zombie games that I would be excited for, what happened to Dead Rising 2? Wasn't that coming out? No, no, no.

No, no, no. That's next year, right? Yeah, 2010. That's supposedly pretty early in development. There's a lot of games we got announced that are coming out and they're showing Alain Wague and that one. Well, most of those other games are coming out early next year. I think Dead Rising 2 is a little further away. I think it's late next year. I don't make a new rule. You can't show a game of E3 if it's not coming out within 12 months. That's a new rule. I'll email them. I'll let them know. Thanks, dude. Get on that. Just send it out to the list. It's a hotmail list. They're probably listening right now. They might be scared that they're going to get the email from me now. Any minute. Can I make another request? Yeah, do it. Can we be done with the internet and intranets and interweb jokes?

I would love that. Can we be done with that? Is that okay? We declared them illegal as of today. Into what? Them and pirates and ninjas. Wasn't when they talking on the radio about pirate day. Talked like a pirate day.

Oh, I mean, we heard that an NPR yesterday. We were driving home. And she was like, An NPR and they were promoting national talk like a pirate day on NPR KUT dot oh RG Yeah, well Gus doesn't have an headphones, but I don't think you realize just how quiet you are Well Gus doesn't have an headphones but I don't think you realize just how quiet you are It's good when the guy running the soundboard doesn't actually have a set of headphones

Everyone took them. Did you plug in your correct cable to your microphone when you set it up? I bet you didn't Wow, that is fucking awesome. That is awesome. Jeff has him and plugged in this entire time I didn't touch your microphone you have We're not gonna change that I just want to explain for the record Jeff plugged into his own computer We have the setup we have here in this room is there's two there's two computers back here There's the editing station where film we're filming Red versus Blue and the Pod. Oh my god, that's so funny! There's Jeff's station, which also has its own mixer because he records achievement

100 audio there. And so whenever he switches to the podcast from achievement 100 audio, he's got to switch his microphone key. To be fair, but to me and Bernie, we're both wearing headphones, and I did not notice that your voice wasn't coming out of my head. I did notice it, thank you very much, and I'm wearing the open ear headphones you have the closed one And he can hear that he's not killing through normally I wear headphones every week I didn't put them on this week so I couldn't find the service from

Everything I said up to this point was really engrossing and hilarious to I feel they'll be over here very faintly I feel oh my god So we're getting this week off to a fucking great stuff. That was fucking hilarious Only four more of these together All right, let's be one day. So do you want to recap anything you've said so far? I talked about zombie apocalypse quite a bit and then I said some hilarious shit about some other stuff I don't remember tune in tomorrow. I guess forgets to press record Well last week we had a problem where our podcast got lost by our software. It's true

We've no do you know about. We could have got away with it We recorded an hour and a half long podcast and it didn't save you guys are destroying our professional reputation One podcast to the time. Have you posted any pictures of what the room looks like that we recorded? No, but people have probably seen it in shorts. Yeah, but just like the podcast have no it's not that impressive Keep it keep it as illusion like we're only in our own booths and not so Local radio station Use their equipment. We use our sound. Hey, I some I want to bring up was we were talking about Saturday night live

Yes, it randomly lunch and I had read an article and this is crazy. I'm a big fan of Kristen wig Do you want to weigh in I hate Kristen wig for whatever reason? She is the second worst thing on that show. What's the worst thing? Keenan? You know, you know, like Keenan? No, Keenan. He's also funny. Keenan from Keenan. It's like he's always been a bad bill Cosby impression He is he any time he's on you know just turn the TV off. Fuck it. Give up. Nope. If. If he's on the first two skits of an SNL episode horrible. They might be the two best people in the show. No. No. And then Chris, go away.

I can't do it. She's funny. I'll post some stuff in the linked up. Yeah, for more of a more of a voice stuff. You can cherry pick that moment. That's right. I can. You can do it. I will. Thank you for pointing it out.

He's gonna go through and post all over her straight man lines. That'll be great. But she is absolutely probably one of the best things to ever be on Serenade Live. That's bold but she's good. She's funny and... You got to have that's a fucking lineage of people from that show. According and you know what go back and watch your Serenade Live sketches. Seriously all the people who you think were awesome on Serenade Live.

Go back and watch them on Serenade Live. You tell me Eddie Murphy wasn't funny. Go back and watch Dan Acquired on Ser on Center live and tell me if you think I never thought that shit was funny from that era like the Basamatic and stuff like that like people talk about John Belushi not funny and Bill Murray and Dan Accroyd is being the Hey day of certain life that that stuff you watch it today. It's like is this where's the joke? Yeah, what about Chris Folly? Charlie awesome. Yeah, he's probably yeah Phil Hartman. I mean guys like that, you know, I like John love It's John love it's probably my favorite of all time was I thought he was I mean some people are just better in that format Than other people are like an accurate film or even movies are Incredible, you know what I mean? I a rush more. It's also the problem with setting it alive is it's always topical

So it the comedy becomes dated so quickly. Not really. I think so. People love that John Belushi little chocolate donut sketch. That's not topical. I guess not. And it's not also not funny. That's you right. It's not funny. Yeah, but Kristen Wigg, I just wanted to throw this out there

because I thought this was amazing. She was in last season. She was in 124 out of 104 sketches. I knew that season sucked for some reason I hope there's more target skits where she plays the target lady or she plays gilly in a fucking classroom Because those are fucking phenomenal every time those come on you know you're gonna fucking roll it off your couch Come on, you gotta you gotta mute it cuz you might die from a speciation from all the laughter You're such a dick. You're such a dickhead. She's fucking he's being argumentative just to be argumentative

I guess so did you ever see did you ever see knocked up? Yeah, I did she fucking great knock No, but no, no, no, no, you just said those are two different things S&L performances and movie performances Also, he said you didn't like her in general though. Okay. I don't like her in S&L Also, she's hot. Who is she in knocked up? She has two minutes. All right. Go ahead. She had been burning stuff She has two minutes in knocked up that are just perfect. She's one of the executives that's trying to help cap them high goal. Oh yeah, I love the round. And it's just consistently negative.

Passive aggressive aggressive. Yeah, it was funny. She was also in ghost town. Rick and Jive is movie. Oh really? How was she in that? She was good in that. I'm wondering if she's in the invention of lying.

Have you heard about that? I don't know if she's in it. New Jive is in the trailer. I saw Tina Fey in the trailer. Yeah, she's definitely I'm looking forward to that movie She's gonna be awesome. Kirsten Wigg is an extract which I'm looking forward to seeing. Oh, yeah It's out right now. Yeah, it's out. I should see it You should see it soon because it's gonna be out. Yeah, I'm backed up on movies. I need to see yeah You know, I'm not let's not talk about Ricky Jermacing more because I'm not really that creatively competitive

But I'm talking about somebody who has a better podcast than we do It just seems like a bad idea man. He was I'm sure not to Since we're not talking about Ricky Jervais. He was on John Stuart two nights ago and Gavin I watched it Yeah, and they mentioned that he has the most successful podcast of all time and what did they say? How many views? 170 million downloads 170 million downloads a Week so just in Fred has that many though doesn't seem like I guess podcast Thomas does a lot I guess I guess I how many to be out together how many to do you have yeah how many podcasts yeah

Like 30 maybe I don't how do you find that he I guess if you're a wreckage of it she gets a no maybe that was when the record was set He's in the Guinness book for I think this year or last year. Yeah, but yeah, I don't know how to go downloads Can you do that? not currently but I probably something out figured out just guy no no no we're not 120 million yeah it's actually 169 million right now so that out there next week's gonna be a huge show for us we catch up to Drew base but uh uh christian wig is also in that upcoming Drew bear more picture that was shot.

Quote shot in Austin. No, it's set in Austin and they only shot the exteriors in Austin. Right. Yeah, fucking lame. Yeah, Ellen Page. That was kind of a weird scandal here because Austin considers itself to be a film production town. And it's, yeah.

And the whole thing is wrapped around the Austin roller girls, which is, you know, where the new roller derby scene kind of started, or like revived. It was a big deal. So is it just cheaper to shoot elsewhere? Yeah. There are more tax breaks in other places. Where did they end up shooting that in Wisconsin, right? Wisconsin or Louisiana? I'm not sure. I think it's Wisconsin, but, you know, they have crazy tax breaks in Wisconsin, I think. They also have good cheese. Yeah, free cheese. Cheese curds. Cheese curds are good. Now it's good. We had a speed of witch. I saw curds. Mm-hmm. She's curds are good now. We had a speech

I saw the other day at Frank's they have a Waffle-Fry Poutine. Yeah, did you have that right? It was good. Say pronounced it Poutine. I think so. Pouting apologies to my Canadian friends if I'm saying it wrong. That did not look good to me. Poutine. It was good. I think Poutine is something that Jeff's army buddy looked up on the internet. It's true. Do you guys have just gathered this new restaurant in Austin, like right around the corner from here, where all the waitresses wear bikinis. And it's cool.

And it's cool. And it's cool. And it's cool. And it's cool. And it's cool. And it's cool. And it's cool. And it's cool. And it's cool.

And it's cool. And it's cool. And it's cool. And it's cool. And it's cool. And You got admit we had it. What was it called us? It was a text makes me a hamburger. It was a hamburger that had tortillas for buns and it was filled with people The guy and it came with a side of case so for dipping but I'm pretty sure the correct way to answer that question is is the food good at bikinis the correct answer is the what? Yeah, I don't know man. It's such a It's a sketchy place to go. You feel like a monster when you're in there. And every time you look up,

you feel like you're breaking the law somehow. I just wanna know what time it was. Yeah, that feeling too? I spent the entire time we were there staring at my table. Watching my fork. Look at your stocks on your iPhone. Yeah.

You know who doesn't understand that? That what you're talking about? Women don't understand that. Because my wife will be in a restaurant and she'll say, look at that guy. Look at that girl. Look at her look at her look at her look look look you're not looking look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look sun you look for a second and then look away You take it all in you take a little battle box every single guy through a pinhole Yeah, yeah, you poke a hole in a paper plate and that's how you get a look when it comes to when it comes to women Every single man on the planet has a photographic memory and you take a one-second snapshot And then you think about that as you're walking away exactly right and women are just they give her watch women pass other women

They they up and down they look them over completely Oh, yeah, you know, and I just I'm like look I got it I saw for a brief second. I got it all I got it all the rest of my life I have it later. Yeah, I'm wondering if that Sun analogy applies to gusto because I know that you used to have sun stare in contests I was like six years old at the top So what you just years old at the time. So what, you just stared directly at the time? We would line up outside our school cafeteria when I was in first grade.

And I don't know why we decided to have contests see who could stare at the sun the longest. What? What you didn't know is that everyone else had their eyes closed and you were the only one looking at the rising. I know, I can't see shit without my glasses. I was the one who won. Where the fuck was your teacher? Who knows? Being irresponsible. And now I can't see shit without my glasses. I was the one who won. Where the fuck was your teacher? Who knows? Being irresponsible. What did you think you're doing?

It's the area of the sun. Gus had a lot of great teachers in his academic career. He was telling me about one time when he was like 13. His class got to go to Washington, DC. Oh, man. And they asked the teacher to take them to, was like, the Washington monument? No, we were at the National Archives. And we had seen just about just about everything but like we didn't get a chance to see the Constitution So the whole tour group was going back to them to the hotel and me and like two of my friends like oh

Can we go see the Constitution? So these two teachers said yeah, we'll stay behind with you and go take it Let's see the Constitution. There's an older married couple both and we're teachers at my school. Where's this story going? So then we're like great great. Hey, we got to go to the bathroom We'll be right out and we'll go see the Constitution They're like, okay, we'll be waiting here for you. So me and my friends go to the bathroom wash your hands come out teachers are gone We're like what the fuck happened tour groups gone like where does it go? Well, maybe they are just like going to the Constitution. Let's go look at the Constitution So we start walking over the Constitution. No, they're not there

So you know we're 13 years old in Washington DC It's the first time I've ever left my house. The first time I've ever been on a play, first time I've ever got a trip anywhere. So then we're like, well, I guess we're stuck here. Let's go figure out how to write the subway. So then, the 13 years old, we walked down, we find a subway stop. We think the hotel is in that direction. So let's just get on the subway. And eventually we figured out, you know, we know more or less what we're going and we get back to the hotel. Three days later we run into those teachers like, what the fuck happened? Where were you? Like, oh, we decided to go to Philadelphia.

I just like, what? They're like, yeah, we forgot we were going to stay with you and we just went to the train station and went to Philadelphia. What the hell? Yeah. Goddamn. And then five years later you moved back to Texas and we're reunited with the family, right? Luckily DC's an incredibly safe city, so there was really no danger.

I had a teacher in second grade that if you talked in class, you'd put in asking people. No, duct tape over your mouth. Well, that just makes sense. Yeah, duct tape. Wow. My brother went to a Catholic school where the nuns had spray soap in their drawers and would spray your mouth with a soap if you said anything bad. It's your brother.

Eight a lot of soap, but you're saying, yeah, my brother ate good, good taste for soap. My dad, my dad grew up in Mexico and he went to school down there. And he said that if you were, if you misbehaved when he was in elementary school, that like the hallways were like this hard tile, probably like a salty tile, and that if you misbehaved,

the teacher would make you go out into the hallway and walk on your knees up and down the school as punishment. Wow! Man, I couldn't imagine something. Man, it can't be like that today. I just couldn't imagine. Yeah, we have kids, right? If my daughter had somebody ever tried to do that to my daughter, I would beat the teacher to death. Yeah. That would be all there is to it.

And first off, the teacher would do would have to perform that task. The teacher, you know, under threat of murder would have to walk up and down the fucking entire school on his or her knees, and then the beating would begin. What was the worst thing that happened to you punishment-wise in school? Uh... I lost... I spent a lot of time outside the classroom, so I lost the ability to learn, which is haunted me. To be honest, I never had anything bad happen. I went to the principal a lot. I had to go to guidance council a lot,

but I never got spanked or anything. Really? Yeah. I guess, I went to a lot of my early school in Oregon, and it was pretty progressive, I guess, so there wasn't a lot of beatings going on up there back then. How about you? I got sparring to one time when I was in like preschool and my mom flipped the fuck out, like completely flipped out.

Oh, I know one, I would eat something at lunch. I know one thing that did happen in Jacksonville, Florida in the fifth grade. We weren't allowed to talk at lunch at all kid and it wasn't like a punishment or anything. The kids just weren't allowed to talk at lunch. And this kid sat next to me and he had like some carrots or something that he wasn't going to eat and he asked me if I wanted them and I said no I don't want any carrots thank you and the teacher come over and grab me and made me stand up in front of the entire school and throw my lunch away and then go to the principal's

office. My mom took off work came down and raised such a stink that the teacher the next day had to stand up and apologize in front of my mother and I at lunch in front of the entire school. Wow. Wow. I thought you felt great about that. It was awesome. And that's when Jeff became a jackass. Yeah, pretty much.

We could trace everything back to that moment now. That's, you know, that's why after a performance you're using, I get a call from Jeff's mom sometimes. And the school had to give my mom $3 or whatever they for the lunch that we throw away. Oh, really? Yeah. My mom did a fuck work, she was a work and mom, you know. Did they write a check? I don't know. We're gonna meet up that's great. That's fucking great. Yeah. That's good times. So I was very popular after that. Yeah. So a couple of weeks ago, we were talking about that weird conspiracy theory thing where they had all the coffins. FEMA is storing coffins. Oh right.

All over the country. I forgot about that already. This kind of reminded me there's a red story where it is in Canada now and they had to apologize to a group of American Indians who have Native Americans who have a tribe up there and I don't know if they have reservations or what in Canada. But essentially a group of Native Americans said to the Canadian government, we want a kit to prepare for H1N1 flu, swine flu.

And the government sent it body bags. That's what they said. What? No, no. Health Canada apologized Thursday for sending body bags along with H1N1 flu prevention and vaccine kits to some native communities We regret the alarm that this incident has caused health Canada said in the statement issued Thursday afternoon It is important remember that our nurses are focused entirely on providing primary health care services under often trying circumstances

That's socialized health care for you. It's in a body bag. At least in a sense of blankets Thank God Gus Gus is the minister of health care in Canada I can see his response would have been these people complained about everything. Where you took my land Where you destroyed my culture where my body bag doesn't fit Genocide this genocide How the hell how in the hell do you send body bags through that's terrible as a prevention kit that's fucking terrible Here's body bags in a shovel Good luck it'd be pretty bad if a ton of people dying they were like we need you to send them back

That'll be even more humiliated just keep them All right, so we got anything else we want to talk about before we wrap up here. I don't think so I don't want to end on that note. Yeah, let's say No, no, note to end on you guys gonna be on a gotta go get on a plane right now And I guess we'll hear back from you Wednesday You'll want to be in tomorrow. We'll see if we can get someone to sit in. I've got a special guest line up I'm trying to I'm trying to line up a special guest. We'll see if I can manage to pull it off or not very special guests All right, thanks for listening everyone. All right, Tata Describe the show to a newcomer and a more familiar way, do you like apples?

Alright, example. Together in Trempathos, Characombs, Characombs are free of ideas of nothing to do with this podcast. Analyze various unsolved and rooster teeth's cryptic podcast, f*** face. Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise specific, but short. Listen to show name on Apple Spotify or wherever you get podcasts. It's f*** face, a podcast. Subscribe or no, you do yes?