Rooster Teeth Podcast - Rooster Teeth Podcast #85

Episode Date: October 27, 2010

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It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers, Will Arnett and Anthony Mackie, comes a new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-octane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motormouth outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland. If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnet, and Thomas Hayden Church,

twisted metal, streaming now now only on peacock Hi, hey, everyone welcome to the drunk tank. This is Bernie Burns Jeff Ramsay Gustaf Rola Dr. pussy magnet Welcome to the wrist-gip podcast. I was scared to tell. Thanks, Armstrong, stole my intro. Let's all be miserable. Fantastic.

Hey everyone, welcome to the podcast. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. How are you guys doing? We're doing great. We're doing great. Everyone's super high energy today. I'm doing great. Hey, got Bernie Jeff and Griffin in here with me. How are you guys doing? We're doing everything. It's like everyone's super high energy today. I'm doing great. Hey.

Got Bernie, Jeff, and Griffin in here with me. How are you guys doing? Good. I'm so high-endy. I just heard that I was at least. You know it's true. So Jeff and Griffin, you guys have been playing Fable 3. That just came out, right?

Yes. How was that affecting your home life? Well, I've got a friend in town right now. And I was like, I'm sorry, I haven't seen you in 10 years, but I have to play people through. I understand. Just sit there quietly and don't distract me. I'll tell you how it's affecting your home life.

My wife doesn't fucking fast travel and it drives me crazy. Oh, whatever. I'm just taking it in the side. I do forget the fast travel sometimes. And this should be like, are you all playing co-op? You just turn it in the mission. No, not yet. You just turn it in the mission.

Just fast travel back to right water. And my problem with my husband is that he will not let me just play the fucking game He'll walk in the room like oh well you know you could do this. Oh, this is over here. This is over here You should just do this first and it's like I know Part of the fun of playing a game especially game like that is figuring it out and You're me just going and like sword fighting while you tell me what to do is no fun Listen if you're next to a silver key. I'm gonna tell you there's silver No, I appreciate that but it's like that's not all you tell me. That's not where it is.

That's not where it is. You're right, I'm sorry. I see you running through the snow for an hour. Oh, man, it takes a long time to get here. The mercenary can't like the bright wall, and I go, you could fast travel and you go, I know I can fast travel. And then you go, I'm gonna fast travel. Okay, we hear something. Last night, I was trying to get the story, and like, because I'm actually interested in the story I'm trying to read I'm reading um fable or valverine valverine over I'm gonna smack that table. I don't even tell me what to do So I've been trying to what is that first of all? It's a novel. Yeah, so it's just like I'm really I really like this game

And I'm trying to like learn, you know Everything about it and actually paid attention to the story this time and not just get into like the character, like playing with the characters or whatever. So don't hit the table. It's just in my way, I'll own my hands. So I've been trying to pay attention to the game, but you like someone over friends dropped by last night, we already have the friend from downtown and then you decided that the TV was distracting and though I kind of reserved the television to play the game.

And you turn it down and you stand in front of the television. And of course I don't know the story. So then when I don't realize that I'm done with my mission, because I've fought some guys and I'm suddenly following my little shiny trail backs somewhere, it's not really my fault. Listen, dude, if you don't, if you want to pay attention to the story, don't invite half of Austin over to our house. I didn't invite, I didn't, well, I mean, yeah, no, I just bad timing. Uh-huh. I just really like this game. Great game. You know, really good game. I just want to point out though,

if you're reading a novel based on a video game, you're not required to tell people that. Keep that to yourself if you want to. Not one of the things you have to share. I'm trying to meet all the real fans. There you go. You're getting into the expanded universe. Is there any tie in, like, gameplay-wise between the novel and the game, like, you get, like, a special something in the game? Yeah, you get, like, a code for a weapon. I haven't used it yet. And I actually haven't gotten that far in the book, so nobody spoil anything for me. You know what I mean?

You get a digital download code. Right. Yeah, yeah. You get some intangible other item. So you actually get a DLC code for reading the book. Yeah. Yeah. It's in the middle of the book. It's an insert. Really? Really? Yeah. Now you want that right? It's too bad. It's not like they didn't have the author wasn't forced to integrate the code into it like the words in the book. Like I didn't see

I could see it. Like the source of a cast his spell. Y-X-C-A-R-F. I guess, yeah, I was just, if people wouldn't found that at a bookstore, could they just steal the code and then not get the book and that person buys that book is screwed? Did we lose code? You have to pull off a little piece to reveal it or snatch it off. Yeah, it's a scratch off. This one is a scratch off.

Yeah, I haven't used it yet. You're right, Bernie. By the way, Gus, I did the, because I pre-ordered the game, I had the ability to create my own unique villager that's imported into the game and I created you. Nice. And they put you through a personality test where you try to answer, like, try to create Gus. And so I answered as truthfully as I could to all of them. I ran into you in the game yesterday and you literally said, hey, what's up? I'm Gus the villager.

I would like you to kill my boss for this. I'm not. I'll be at the bar if you need it. Yeah, I was like, well, that's definitely Gus. It's awesome. I had a lot to not to kill you, boss. My wife also did the same thing. She made me in Fable 3, except she called me Gus Dash. Do you have a Gus Dash?

I have a Gus Dash, I guess. Do they actually, when you create the characters, it can actually look like this. It looks like Gus. You get like five or six faces you can pick from. Oh, okay. When you showed me, he had no face because there was some kind of glitch and it was just like, Yeah, it doesn't work very well in Safari.

Like a sideburns and a hat. Yeah, a sideburns and a hat. That's what I think of Gus. That's nice. Yeah, that's about it. Yeah, the village creator tool is pretty cool except you write it, definitely a head trouble working in Safari. Yeah.

But it's cool idea. Yeah. Although I do feel like in the first day I played Fable between like all the different codes and like those kind of things you get, I felt like I spent the first 45 minutes I played Fable just entering in codes. No, redeeming codes, yeah. I haven't even played Fable yet and I feel like I spent half an hour putting codes in. Yeah.

Like there was a code for pre-ordering, there was a code for the villager, there was another code to download a free weapons pack. Then there was a, there were, like if you buy the special edition, there's two codes inside the special edition, and then there's the book code, and it's like, it's like when Viva Pinyata 2 came out, and they had all those, you remember those scanable cards, and they were like, every time you turned around, there was like a thousand new Scannable cards Yeah, you could print out and then yeah, take a Game you scammed with the camera Xbox camera, right? Yeah, Xbox live vision

You know you guys were talking about you made a joke about in The novelization of fabled that the guy would have a spell combination that you could use in the game right Viva Pignata actually did that they had a show that went along with the opinion of the three the animated cartoon shows and i remember that and they would do things on the show and if you replicated them in the game you would get the result from the show like they were pre-embedded in the game you know i watched that show and i don't remember that it's cool

i never picked up on it but you if you if you fed uh... you know uh... oh i see what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Was that you a mulligan barrier, whatever the hell. I can't think of a fruits from, uh, from a monkey nut tree or whatever. Then it would turn to certain colors. And then if you turn off, if you tried it, it was a big deal to find out, like, what food to change certain animals, different colors. Right. Jeff and I have. We played a lot of either pinata thousand pointed both of those two games. Yeah. That's it. That's it. From in this undertaking, that is no joke thousand point of view pinata to it requires a spreadsheet

It requires we've heard about like for it's four spreadsheets. It's also just actually pretty stressful game with all of the the pests and stuff Oh, God, dude. Don't even be started on the pest like what was that? You were the most of them. Yeah, but then you can't totally it helps if you have a Like drag a sore a drag it What was it called the dragon that would scare off? Because of the one dude professor Pester you can't get a dragon fly or something, right? Yeah, it was something else and then there was also a rhino that would boot in the fuck out if you had a special Rhymas or a limo sir

That was your favorite right you bring that back in ash dragon ash the dragon ash and lime Monsters would do most of your work for you the dragon ash you got by digging out like getting minors in there and digging up and Fitting an egg. Yeah, right and then you have to hatch it in a certain way Then you have to rescue the miners and it's a whole ordeal Couple million dollars cost a million gold coins glasses for them when they come out Dragon ash is mr. Shosa All the animals in Viva Pignata are supposed to sound like some kind of candy. Yes.

And that got a little thin. Oh yeah. And the lime osters really doesn't sound much like rhinoceros. Like the osters at the end. Like you could call it the Luminosters. But the, what is Dragon Ash? What is that supposed to be? Like Dragon H?

Dragon Edge? I don't know. It's probably some European candy we're not familiar with. Dragon-h? Dragon-h? No idea. Yeah, I think I'm like, I'm not supposed to be. What was that fruit that supposedly stinks and... Duryan.

Duryan, the Duryan fruit. We, Augusta and I have actually, or you... It was you, it was us. Yeah, we've been to hotels where they have signs up in the lobby saying you can't eat those fruits. Yeah, no durian fruit allowed in this hotel You guys are talking about hey remember that shitty hotel you booked us an in Toronto, where we thought we were gonna They didn't allow durian fruit. Oh So this is a durian. I'm gonna show you a picture of it and if guess I'm sure we'll put a link in the link up But essentially it's like oh, yeah, that's a grocery store. It's like a spiky ball

Well apparently you become open. They smell like death. Oh really? Yeah, they smell terrible and then they taste Apparently horrible too, but then once you use it it's awesome Have you ever had one? They're always bragging about an essential market. No whole foods. We'll go get one I'm fucking I look fucking disgusting. I just looked at one cut open. That's like it looks like an alien It has a custard in it or something Yeah, it's pretty gross looking and you can't eat one in the hotel that Jeff Bookt is in So that hotel had one thing going for it. It's what we're getting at you know else you can't do it that hotel Get an ambulance when you hit by a car

And we heard that guy get hit by the car. And we never, we never saw an ambulance show up. Was he like Will Ferrell in the awesome powers movie? If he's just laid on the ground and begged for help for three days. It's beautiful so health care. So maybe like everyone's required to take him to the cell. So like if you see an accident, you have to put the guy in your car. Everyone had to contribute a bandaid.

Like okay, we're getting, we're getting no if it'll help had to contribute a bandaid. It's like, okay, we'll get, we get enough, it'll help. This is a bandaid and a aspirin. I need 50ccs of Putin status. You know, getting, what you're saying about an aspirin and bandaid, I was in Germany once I had to get, it was in Toothfold, and they had, like, it was, like, socialized healthcare, whatever. So I went in and the guy just walks in, he, like, it doesn't even say hi to me like sticks and you know in my gum or

whatever and verse my tooth out within like a two-minute period like he was just like so he was efficient very very very efficient verse my tooth out black and hurts and it's really traumatic experience and I had never been afraid of the dentist until then and then he gave he gives me two pills and he says and it hurts to get aspirin and my face got so small in the US I came and I got the rest of them pulled because that one was the problem. So I had them pulled and they were like, here, here's some, some nitrous oxide, we get

you viking it, anything else you need, just let us know if you want to put you under and I'm like, no, that's probably not necessary. But it was pretty crazy, just like, so the difference. So the Germans were cold and efficient to you? Yeah. Man, that's surprising. No, that's so not the reputation. I mean, I'm okay with cold and efficient because you. Yeah. Man, that's surprising. No, that's so not their reputation. I mean, I'm OK with cold and efficient because I get that.

But when you have somebody in your mouth ripping out your teeth, you kind of want a little bit of a bedside manner. I hope somebody can sing. Can what do you call it when you, I'm drawing a blank hair? I don't know. Isolate that part when you have somebody in your mouth and turn that into a song.

I know we're going to get a million of them now. A million when you have somebody in your mouth and turn that into a song. I know we're going to get a million of them now. When you have somebody in your mouth songs. I can give another perspective of the American version of wisdom to think taken out. I, everything college, or just out of college, I really couldn't afford to have any dental work. So I went to one of those experimental places where they would give you some kind of new pain medication while they pulled your teeth out and you might have been in a control group which was no pain

medication. Oh my god. It says you know, Sivo. So here's a sugar pill. Let me ref out your teeth. Oh my god. And you could like essentially pull the eject cord. Okay.

I'm out because that was part of the test like saying this does they were testing the effectiveness of this pain medication. I don't think that I don't think the control control group should be no medicine should be like standard medicine right like not like okay, I'm sure there's I'm sure there's different groups. I'm sure they have the new drug the normal drug and the sugar pill. Oh man. And you don't know which one you're getting. I'm just testing the effects of the you know the power of thought. If you think you're, if you think you're taking medicine, maybe you won't hurt. I think the Controlled Group should have been that they don't pull out of your teeth. Yeah. So I go in their tap around for a second, all done. But you get to sit in a chair and watch TV for six hours under a blanket. I got

to watch a guy hit my face with what looked like a big break. Maybe that's what they were testing. When you tooth removal techniques. I got my wisdom teeth taken out when I was 14. They put me under. I don't remember any of it. It was a totally painless experience. I would not let anyone put me under for anything whatsoever. Oh, it's a pain. It's never. It's never been. I've never lost consciousness and I would not do it. You almost did that one time to pipe fill on your head. Yeah, when Jeff almost bring me. Yeah. There's been a couple of times I've come close. You know, like almost fainted or something like that. You ever fainted? Anybody?

I got really close. I can close. I got put in just for times of electing me once. You said you passed out during when you had your kid, right? Oh, yeah. I guess I can't tell if I passed out of fellow sleep, but when I was between contractions, like I would be screaming screaming screaming. Do people snore when they're passed out? I guess I was just sleeping, but yeah, like I had contractions and I'd be screaming to be screaming. Do people snore when they're passed out? I guess I was just sleeping, but yeah,

I had contractions. I'd be screaming like crazy. And then the moment the contractions was over, apparently I would just pass out. And then I'd wake up for the next one. I got heatstroke and co-at once. So I kind of got woozy. I had to sit down.

That was about the close stuff, come. Have I ever told you that I was born without wisdom tea? Really? Yeah, I'm more evolved than you savages. What does that say about you? It says I'm fucking from the future. How does that make you more evolved than us? I lost that shit. I don't need anymore. You guys like cavemen. Do you think you're gonna fall out and the new ones are gonna come in? You grew up next

to a radioactive river. Yeah, I think I might have to do that. I did grow up next to a radioactive river. You also have a tail. I think I've met anybody who has a second 17th like a shark. Oh yeah, like in school the ones that didn't fall out. No. And then the others will come up up on the top and it was kind of creepy. I knew a lady that had too many teeth and they were tiny like daggers. Too many teeth? Yeah, she had more teeth. Really?

Yeah, she's creepy. That sounds way creepy. I didn't like her. She fucked me over and I had to go to Panama for her because that's a long story. That was a Army thing. Okay, I was not my turn to go on on deployment and she screwed me over You just got back from somewhere right I just got back from three months in Kuwait. Yeah, I mean I was back three days And I locked into work and my my boss literally goes here's a handgun. I hope you didn't unpack yet

You're leaving for Kuwait in two hours Or for panemon two hours, and I was like it's the simple 14th. I'm going on vacation tomorrow. He's like yeah No, I'm pretty sick because that's right yeah, no, I get funny story about that. So I had to call my mom. I had to call my mom and tell her that I wasn't going to be home for Christmas and my boss maybe do it in front of them. And he it was a secret mission. Like I'm doing with the quote secret mission. And so I was not allowed to tell her where I was going. Which when you're 18 and you call your mom, you know, a week before Christmas when she expects you home in two days and you go hey I'm not coming home. I'm being deployed to a third-world country. I'm not allowed to tell you where I'm going

So I was so pissed off like I said I Said mom. I'm sorry to tell you this. I'm not gonna be home for Christmas I've been deployed to a third-world country. I'm not allowed to tell you where I'm going But I will say it rhymes with man am I and country, I'm not allowed to tell you where I'm going, but I will say it rhymes with man-a-maw. And uh, it was probably the closest I've ever come to insubordination in the military. I mean, I'm surprised, I'm surprised that that's the question. I didn't get any trouble, my body just shook as I didn't like put his hands.

It seems like almost every week you have a story where you almost like took down the body, or you almost got your pay doctor. When you told court martial art. Did you tell a general once that you didn't, you weren't doing anything and you watched movie the other day or whatever? Yeah, I'm, I'm too honest. I just want to point out something and you go back and verify this,

but I'm pretty sure Jeff just called his CEO, his wife. What? I'm pretty sure he did. I didn't catch up. I'll have to, I'll have to listen. I don't know about that. This will insert the rewind. Don't ask until.

We had someone, you know, I don't know about that. This will insert the rewind. Don't ask until. We had someone, you know, I don't remember last week we talked about songs that people commit suicide to. It was a great start to the podcast. Oh yeah. Awesome. And we actually had an outside expert contact us and give us some insight. I guess if someone who's a funeral director.

This expert did come from the internet. I'll apply to that. From the internet. Tell us that. Somebody on the website. I don't like that ad. From the internet. Told us that. Somebody on the website? I don't know if he's on the website. He listens to the podcast. I can't call Dan and left the message, actually.

I wasn't going to say that because I want people calling him. But he let us know, I guess, that a few years back, the most popular song for that was Adam Song, with Blink 182. Wait, isn't that ironic? Which seems really stupid to me. Why would song about that?

Because the song's about a kid who killed himself and how you shouldn't kill yourself yeah it's a song telling you my how you should kill yourself song that's like I know it's not creative if you're killing yourself so it's like what killing I don't know I feel like you should be a little wackier it's a little cliche right yeah maybe it's for the better than the fucking unoriginal people get rid of them not to dwell on suicide but one thing I've noticed about people that I've known in the past and didn't know very well the dwell on suicide but one thing I've noticed about people that I've known in the past and didn't know very well about the dwell on suicide but not people I didn't I don't have never been

closed in it who's convinced suicide but I've known people like in high school and then later and one thing that they always comes out they always like the once people I knew they always like range for gifts to arrive after they died like almost like unfinished business like somebody was nice to them and it was a deal like we had a potato masher sent to us from a girl who committed suicide and stayed at this for like a day it was like it's true it was sad our friends girlfriend you know Gus and I actually had a friend at the old tech support company we worked with who that's a pretty common like well-known thing and she gave me a chair

and Gus something and she was giving away a bunch of stuff to just all the employees and Gus and I were convinced she was gonna commit suicide for like today's kind of she was moving and didn't have room for all of the stuff but like I was really worried that she was gonna commit suicide for like two days. Kinda she was moving and didn't have room for all of these stuff, but like I was really worried that that she was gonna commit suicide for a couple days because she was kind of unique anyway. Yeah, you know, so I forgot about that. I did not commit suicide and I got a chair at the farm. As far as we know she moved to another city plane of existence. What do you think is as close as you've ever come to die?

Oh god, I don't know I did a lot of dumb stuff I probably wouldn't even know you know like I could have been like a Minute like a minute behind that I in front of an accident and have never known it or like you got delayed Yeah, yeah, what about you? Man, I got a couple motorcycle Rex's a kid that probably should have died in. I had a diving accident where I broke my leg. Almost dove instead of jumping in the water, but the last minute thought maybe I should jump instead of diving. Had I dove into that water, I probably would have died.

Or have been paralyzed forever, which would have sucked. But I was thinking about this the other day, I had a weird thought that maybe I died during one of my accidents where I thought, oh, wow, you know, I hit my head Or I just literally one time I flew over the handlebars of a motorcycle and landed. I was wearing a baseball cap And a little steel bolt in the top of the cap like talking for the Dent in the top of my skull so I lay it on top of my head Oh, my is that dense still there? Do you still have like a baseball mark? I got a really lumpy head I don't think that's there now. I uh, I also one time laid my motorcycle down

and through some weird, you know, circumstance of physics, the gas cap popped off and covered mean gasoline. Wow. He didn't tone gas. Wow. That's like a brick.com video waiting to happen. And the mic and the bike was still running when this happened. Oh man. Anyway, we thought that like, what if my brain just filled in the rest of this stuff? It's gonna be a movie by the like you're in a coma somewhere. Yeah, I'm sure there's a lot of movies like this is like six cents. It's like you just go to work every day and that's the twist. Well, like what have you woke up and it's like Jacob's ladder or things?

You're 18 and you've lived like you know you live a whole life you dies. No man, you come on your coma. You're 18. You know, and you have a totally different life again. Or like that star shake episode with Picard. Hey, that's what I was thinking about, yeah. Yeah, it's almost, yeah, it's almost like a inception as well where you're stuck in the void and all this time has passed, but it really hasn't passed in your, for your real body. Right. I had a moment where I thought I was dead for about 15 seconds.

Um, I've had that where I, I will, I used to show up to play with my friends late because my mom had a list of chores for me to do every day And so I would invariably get to where my friends were hanging out after school And they would be standing around and I'd be like what are you guys doing? And they would go oh we all just did X you should try it and I'll go on Seems dangerous and they go no no no we already did it. It's fine and One day I showed up my friends were standing next to a quarter pipe that we made for skating It was about six feet tall had two two feet of vert. And I was like, 10. And they were all standing around it on their bicycles.

And I go, what are you guys doing? They go, oh, we were, we just all jumped this quarter pipe. And I was like, wow, that seems really dangerous. Are you guys going to do it again? And they're like, no, man, where did it? We proved it. You're the only one that hasn't done it. And I was like, I don't know.

And they're like, no, trust us, we did it. It was awesome. It was really fun. And I was like, shit, I guess if you guys did it. And they were like, you know, you got to be going fast. And so your friends are asshole about everything. And so I turned around, I drove all the way down the street, like a half mile, rode as fast as I could, hit the ramp, went straight up in the air.

I'm not sick on like seven, eight feet in the air, just barely cleared it, hit the ground. And I heard two loud explosions. And then there was nothing but smoke around me, and I was just sitting in smoke, and it was like really dense and thick, and I was like, this must be like heaven. I died, I broke my neck, and this is heaven, and it was like, there was no sound, because I was like, my ears were ringing, and I was like, wow, this sucks, but I died on a bicycle stunt. I just smoked clear the way, and I realized that I had gone so high in the air that when I land that I popped both of my tires

I was so really and it was so loud that it hurt my ears So I couldn't hear for a second and then I had landed in a big pile of like dirt And so it all clouded up and I couldn't see and my friends all will go. Yeah, you idiot We knew you'd be the one to try it. We were all too scared. I the closest I've ever come is I got peppered by a shotgun once when I was hunting Oh, yeah, really you can shot. Yeah really to try it, we were all too scared. The closest I've ever come is I got peppered by a shot gun once when I was hunting. Oh, god. Yeah, really? You didn't shot?

Yeah. Really? Did it really? It wasn't bad. I mean, I really did. Did it break the skin? Uh, there are a couple of places, but not, you know, this is a small cut.

That's a major problem where I confirm, like, we've got my accounting in Oregon, has like the highest poaching slash hunting accident, rate or whatever, like in the state. A lot of people get shot. I, uh, I did, I was on the other end of that one time when I was in high school. My friend got a new 22 for Christmas and he was like, hey, you want to come shoot my 22? And I was like, yeah, sure, man. So we were shooting like beer cans behind his house into the woods.

And so, probably 22 goes a long way. Yeah. And so later on, I'm not a cop showed up at our house. And he goes, yeah, I'd like to speak to your parents And I was like, okay, okay, and then the guy goes yeah, your son was firing a 22 into the woods and he put four rounds into an apartment complex Into specifically into a man's home while he was there and Almost shot a man and he did gave me a warning Do you think that if you imagine being the guy you're just like sitting in the lazy boy watching TV and all the sudden bullets Start to like what is that?

That's what the fuck is another one Do you think that if you get shot by 22 at that arrange? It's not gonna be that bad right? It went through his wall Yeah, it was supposed to what as opposed to not being sure No, no, no, it's like it's 22 doesn't but that was there's moments where I thought like, it's really, I'm really lucky to be in Alabama because probably in another state, I'd be going to jail right now or I'd be in a lot more trouble. And the cops like, don't shoot guns.

And I was like, well, boys will shoot into people's weapon complexes. I thought I was dead once when a buddy of mine was renovating his room at our dorm essentially. We would have a private dorm and Ula la. All right. No, it's nice. And he was adding electrical plug. So he was extending electrical plug to the back wall and He decided to go to lunch. So he left and exposed live wire with any separate the two ends as far as he could Ouch and then and then so that nobody would mess with it, he covered it with a newspaper. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Safety first. And so I went into his room and I was going to look at the window to try to find him, because he had these little windows, and I knelt down and grabbed the windowsill, and I didn't know, but I knelt right on this thing. I read the Andy Cap 20 paper that he put in there. And so as soon as I grabbed the windowsill, I was standing up across the room. I didn the the Andy Cap 20 paper that he put under and so as soon as I

grabbed the windowsill I was standing up across the room. I didn't know what happened. Like I was bam I was across the room and standing up from a kneeling position and I had this hum in my hand that I forget that I can almost like I could like feel it and taste it and hear it at the same time and I was pretty sure for a few minutes that I was dead. And I just didn't know it. After you get electrocuted like that, are you sore later? Like, because all your muscles contract in a weird way, right?

I think I just had like a straight shot. And like, I think what happened was I grabbed the windowsill and I was leaning forward, leaning out the window. And I think what happened was, as soon as I touched the windowsill, they extended and pushed me up away from the window. And did you have to push you out the window? Yeah, I guess so.

For a brief period of time afterwards, did you have any kind of powers nothing nothing it's all bullshit ripoff I like to see the worst I hate electricity I hate stuff that's invisible that can kill you yes electricity it no it's never done for us I it's the one thing like like in hand you work that I still is like a crap I mean you know I'd rather like crack open the computer and a engine in a modern car yeah then deal with like a light bulb what oh go ahead no I had to switch out a dimmer socket for my wife the day she wanted to switch the one to a dimmer

switch and like I know it's gonna kill me okay hey we're either of you guys in the office the other day when we had the smoke alarm incident did you guys hear about that I heard about it I heard about it yeah wow we have a yeah we have a loud smoke alarm so what happened? Okay, so Nathan and I were filming something for the short DVD that required a smoke machine in the kitchen. And it set off the smoke alarm, which will not turn itself off We found out. And it was on for about a half an hour.

We switched off like every breaker in the building. And eventually Matt had to get on that giant ladder and go Up into that huge door upstairs. It's like a maintenance area where the giant air conditioner is. And it took him another 15 minutes to find a tiny little switch that's hidden behind and under the air conditioner that you can reset that thing with. So if our spoke alarm goes off, what did he use the ladder if he didn't use the scissor lift?

No, the ladder was a lot quicker to get in there. Okay, just saying like I want to make sure we can't, we can get to that thing in the future. Well, the scissor lift? No, the ladder was a lot quicker to get in there. OK, just I'm saying, like, I want to make sure we can get to that thing in the future. Well, the scissor is on. Yeah, that's fine. And he knows where it is now. OK. But man, our smog along is fucking loud. Don't ever set it off.

Joel had to leave the building. He had to stay. He was standing outside in front of the building with his hands and his ears. Who, he was a big help. I was supposed to say, it's probably nice, but it's always a help like that. One of the, one of the, I don't know what to call him, intrusion alarms used to be here in my office right over there above that door.

And we tested it once. And you could not be in this room with that thing going off. It was, it was at the same system, do you know that went off for the smoke alarm, Jeff? I have no idea. Man, that thing was fucking loud. It was like, it was so bad where like,

you could be in the kitchen as long as you were facing a certain direction But if you turned your head a little bit it became unbearable. So you had to turn back real fast So you had to kind of like walk like kind of straight where you're going So video games prepared you for the scenarios. They definitely did. Yeah, I was how it's fun Have you could you guys show a money where it is because he's here alone a lot and he likes to burn waffles? No, he likes to burn waffles He brings a lot of waffles. He also likes to make the strongest coffee I've ever seen Yeah, instead of putting just a few scoops of grounds in, he fills it.

The filter looks like a potted plant. It does. When he's done with it, that's so much fucking coffee. What if he'd grow plants in that? Yeah, well, plants like coffee grounds, like you put it in composters. There you go. Monty's busy doing other stuff. He doesn't need to worry about coffee.

He's working in cool stuff. The coffee keeps him fueled doing that stuff though. That is true. By the way, I figured out the person who opens the gate so that it's just open enough that a small car can get through it. Maybe without a... That was me, I did that with this. I made a noise. It's money. He opens the front gate so that there's like an inch on either side of his car when he gets through it

So what's it what's your complaint there just open it enough that everybody can get through? It's an extra second to push the damn gate further. It drives me nuts So you're completely I hate all of you people you're complaining that you have to get out of your car Because he got out of his car to open the gate and wait if you have one person getting out of the car You don't need two people I out of the car. Listen, you should drive in the car. I was the first person here this morning. I was the first person here this morning. I have no problem getting out of my car and opening the gate all the way.

You'll notice the gate is completely open on both sides. Because I am conscientious and I care about my co-workers. I didn't realize we entered the bash-monney section of the car. Oh, no, I'm not bad at my car. I mean, he's not the only one that does it. Brandon does it too, and I'm pretty sure I've seen Carrie do it. It just takes an extra five seconds to open it enough so that people don't have to like Fonegal that a car through the gate like it's a maze

Yeah, would you prefer if he open the gate and then close it behind him completely that no Then he'd have to get out of the car twice and my is your car that much wider than Monies, I guess so you got a big truck doesn't it bother you don't you have to Monnie's about maximizing efficiency. I guess so. You got a big truck, doesn't it bother you? Don't you have to. Monies about maximizing efficiency. I am, I pull my mirror in, and then I drive up to the thing, and I push it from my window. I push it open.

Just open it. And it's 14 people in this company. Just open the gate. Is the gate a problem? It's annoying. Wait until it gets to January. Then the gate will become a major issue in this company, I bet.

I got no problem opening the gate up every morning on the first person here. And Jeff, I'm sorry we have bad news. We're going to deploy you to the gate will become a major insurance company. I got no problem opening the gate up every morning one of the first person here Jeff, I'm sorry. We have bad news. We're gonna deploy you to the gate. Oh, yeah, that's fine. You have two hours. If gate duty. Here's a gun So Gus you mentioned inception. Yeah, did you guys hear that the creators of South Park had to formally apologize or didn't had to but they chose to formally apologize to college humor Because they directly lifted an entire sketch from college humor. Really? Man, how sad must it be to get ripped off? That was so bad for college humor for getting ripped off on the internet. Like, making a really funny web video and then somebody comes and rips it the fuck off. That's really tough. It must have really hurt their feelings

and made them feel really small. It is so strange to have a conversation about ripping stuff off and college humor's a boss. God damn. But I thought it was interesting because, I mean, it's literally just word for word. And in some sections at least.

And I mean, I guess it really wasn't necessary for Matt Stone and Parker's other- Matt Stone, Apologist. Yeah, to do do that but I thought it was I thought it was interesting that they chose to do it. The thing that I thought was weird I don't it was really cool that they apologized and they acknowledged it. The thing that was weird was that Matt Stone said that he they watched the college humor skit because they hadn't seen inception and they couldn't get a screener and I just find it hard to believe that nobody that they hadn't seen inception i i but that movie was under pretty tight locking fee before it came out

but i mean to see in the theater i mean it was such a big it's big hit you know what it's kind of i don't know like i really i really love south park and there they make fun of a lot of things but to make fun of something as much as they did without ever having seen it it's kind of do you see it also seems like they made fun of a what they they said that they thought that they assumed that college humor used a what like a word for word parody what in the

parody their work or before they they parent made to the parody so obviously it was accessible and also like if in if if you're gonna make an episode parodying something shouldn't you have seen it like why would they have the idea to lampoon uh inception if they haven't seen inception well and I can but with the comments you like I've definitely like I write comics like bait like if you guys say oh, I saw this and this was kind of a funny thing It happens all right it not having seen it necessarily especially since I never get out of the house But I don't know they were pretty harsh about inception which seemed like they must have seen it in actually They wrapped a 30 minute or 22 minute episode around it, you know, it's like I don't know

It's just I wouldn't I've never for instance, I've never seen the notebook. So I'm not gonna make a notebook parody. I was forced to watch that in a class at Texas State. But they wouldn't let us watch it, they made us watch the director's commentary for some reason. So I was just watching this director's commentary of this movie because the professor didn't feel

like teaching that day. Really, I don't like that movie now because of that. It's a fine education institution. You're right. It was like acting for TV film class and she was just lazy. There you go. That was a horrible class. Don't take that class here at Texas State.

The excuse that they used was very, very strange. Yeah, it was just an odd excuse. It was, we couldn't see, I'm a paraphrase here, because I don't have the quote in front of me. But essentially, we couldn't see inception. And we couldn't see I'm a paraphrase here because I don't have the quote in front of me but essentially we couldn't see inception and we couldn't get the source material so we watched the college humor sketch and assumed that was word for word that they would that those were lines from the movie and so we took the we took the lines from the college humor sketch. Yeah but

essentially like you know sometimes as many as like five or six lines straight in a row we took that from there and put it in our piece and essentially thematically it's the same scene but that's somehow a weird valid excuse yeah that's so weird and it was just such a weird made up reason why they did it but you know it almost been like we didn't know anybody would have seen this thing oh yeah we're sorry because we got caught yeah why apologize at that point there's almost worse to apologize the literally the excuse makes no sense to me. No, it really doesn't. And especially considering like, this is the most popular show on an television network. The millions of people are going

to watch each week. And they're directly lampooning and parenting something that they have no idea what it's about. And they watch one three minute video, you know, at 600 by 480 on a website and decided to make a 22-minute episode around it. It's silly, but I've really liked their like social commentary and stuff in the past. No, I'm a huge South Park fan It just doesn't make sense. But it makes me kind of like not I don't know I don't know. I make me appreciate it less if they're not actually putting the work in which is kind of a dumb thing to say maybe. Right. I Don't know like it's hard to take that if their opinion about things seriously they're not going to go to the source. Yeah, I think it's oddly enough the guys who had their stuff stolen is Dan Gerwich is one

of the writers at College Humor. Let's talk for them. He was the writer. He's the head Apple Apple C Apple V at the company. He was essentially saying that these things happen, you know, they're being classy about it, you know, that watching it and his thing was more of what you'd expect

to hear from self-park, which is, yeah, I guess we watched this thing, it's clear that we directly ripped it off and we didn't mean to it subconsciously sunk in. Whereas that's not what the self-park guys were saying at all, they were saying like, yeah, we watched it, we used the lines, we just understand that we were using lines that were not from the movie right and Kind of a heavy assumption to make to No, it doesn't it doesn't make sense on any front. Yeah, watch the fucking movie. I'm just trying to self-park it as having more frequently

Just because they move so quickly on that show. Yeah, they do. I mean they get a show done It's almost like the daily show and how topical it is. And it's animated narrative. They had that Ellie on Gonzales episode up two days after the Ellie on Gonzales thing happened. I think that's like what their turnaround is, right? Like two or three days, like a thing of public one out. It's impressive. They can work that fast.

Yes, impressive. They didn't actually see any of the Ellie on Gonzales coverage. They just got a picture on the front page of CNN. They saw the cover right out the rest. They saw the cover on Mad Magazine. They folded the cover it out the rest of the cover on mad magazine They folded the picture together it figured out the secret the secret message I salute those I've seen the inception button. Yeah The button that you press on the internet, which is a little red button. Uh-huh. You press it and it goes

Oh, here it is right here present it goes That's it add emphasis to anything you say. Okay. There you go. Nice. I'm sticking with this for the rest of the podcast. There you go. Everything you say will be punctuated, so we'll know when to listen. Did any of you guys see that the state of Texas sent a sales tax bill to Amazon? Wow. I'm surprised that this isn't bigger news. I feel like she was kind of big. I just want to sum up our previous conversation just quick.

Sum it up with key phrases. College humor rip off South Park is on TV. Let me try to understand that. College humor rip off. South Park is on TV. Yeah. Okay, I got it. I think I have the gist of that now. That'll be the title of this podcast. I'm just gonna Apple see Apple V that I mean college humor itumorant. All right. So you're going to say something about some sales tax stuff that's interesting. Yeah.

I guess the state of Texas is trying to collect sales tax on online sales. So they sent Amazon a $269 million bill for sales tax between covering the period between December 2005 and December 2009. This is relevant to my interest, what? Yeah, that's a big bill. They're sending their, they want Amazon to pay sales tax for what?

For all the sales that they shipped to the state of Texas in that four year period. Why Texas? Because they have a distribution center in Irving, so they're cleaning that Amazon did business, does, has a physical location in Texas. They have a presence within the state. Right. I would be hard to argue that. Yeah. So I'd like to point out that we pay our Texas sales tax early every month. We're happy to do it.

Let's explain. Risserteed is based in Austin, Texas. Yes. So when we make we make an internet sale to anywhere else in the country, it's no sales tax, but when we make a sale within the state of Texas, we pay sales tax on that. The customer pays sales tax, and then we file a sales tax in pay. By the way, something I never understood about our company, and we have an awesome accountant who handles that for us now. Why was it my job to do the sales tax up until I'm the math retarded?

I'm like the worst, least qualified person to do sales tax for our company. Jeff, it's literally one calculation. I know. It's a number that the store would tell you is the monthly revenue. There was a dot in it. We have lots of computers and they can all help you with your math. Recently, what were you doing?

You forgot what a fraction, like how fractions worked recently. And for a job, how fraction? He just forgot about fractions. So I had to remind him, because he was like, OK, this has to be any sense. And he was like trying to, like, he went into some weird convoluted thing where like he dividing something and I was like, no, it would be a fraction of a fraction. And he's like, no, I think it goes into a negative number. If you divide this

number by this bigger number, it's going to be a negative, obviously. I didn't know that you could, yeah, no, I forgot about fraction. That's what it was. It was dividing a number by a larger number. And you were like, had me convinced that it was going to be something like a negative. I'm like, there's no way that can be negative with two positives man I'd love to have been a fly on the wall. Oh my god. Yeah, I know you would have like because I'm my My argument with him was just a spathetic. I was like I'm pretty sure it's a fraction I think I remember fractions. I would literally look and I had a like a oh Moment where I was like she goes I think pretty just a fraction and I go what's a fracked?

Like you never really excited. I said fractions. yes, I got it. Math is easy. The over-unders. I remember this. They taught me this in 11th grade in Alabama. I think it was like a meteorologist that you're like, you can't talk about this on the podcast. I was pretty bad. I'm glad you don't remember well enough to make me

to be really embarrassing. Here we are. Oh. Any, I feel so bad for Millie. Because she's going to come home with math homework and be teaching as basic, basic math. It'll be like when you came home with algebra homework we lived with Gus and you asked him to help and he lowered

your grade you I had a basic algebra class I'm not a teacher I'm not a teacher I'm I had to take one out of the theater majors so they're like okay here this is the easiest math class you can take good luck check writing 101 so I went yeah so I went to this basic basic algebra class it was probably it was pretty much like high school algebra all over again and I guess was living with this and he was going on about how he went to math camp and how smart he was at math and so I get home and I'm like here can you help me just with this basic like a formula and he was just like well this is a I do more

experimental math like this is what you know exactly what I said you're like oh this is basic math I mean I use like oh, this is basic math. I mean I use like I I'm so far beyond this that I don't have to use the stuff anymore I'm trying to solve for why and because it's like I'm solving for why X plus the fraction This is exactly what happened. I'm so thrilled to keep you here. The problem here is that I'm a terrible memory But I'm vindictive. So what was it you said? You're like, you would use your advanced math.

You said, I use advanced math. So I don't really use this anymore. When her class tank, you were like, it was beneath me. I'm sorry. I got to see in that class consistently. In the moment I stopped using guesse's help, I got to be. So there you go. It's a poor musician that blames their instrument group.

That's all I'm going to say. Oh, no, I'm not saying I'm good at math. I'm just saying you're a bad instrument. Oh, I can't ask holes. All right. I just say I won't help you with anything ever again. Obviously, you can do better on your head. I asked you for help since then.

No, obviously you had it. I'm just going to look at those comic companies. I just now that I'm at a school, I never have to do math again. It's getting pretty bad. Except when you have to teach fractions to Jeff. Oh man, actually, Monty and I had to try to put together shelves. Just saying he's bad at math to you.

And we were like, just like trying to figure out how to make the shelves equidistant so we had to count like the number of little holes that you have to put them in. And we were both like, okay, how are we going to do this? See, I do advanced counting. I don't do basic counting. You decided to divide 44 by 11. And it was like, I know, 44 by 4 and we're just like, I don't do basic counting. You decided to divide 44 by 11, and it was like, I don't know, 44 by 4 by 4, and we're just like, I don't know. Like, take us a while. Sorry.

Don't look at me, Vaughn. I'm just, I'm like, I want to almost know what's the limit of Jeff's math knowledge. Oh, okay. Well, you know what a decimal is, clearly. Because you use money. Oh, yeah, it's a little dot. You know what a fraction is. I do know.

If I say, what's bigger bigger one 16 to one 30 second? Uh, one 16th or one 30 seconds one 16th would be bigger. There you go. That's pretty good. Alligator points to the one 16th. Classic, classic coping mechanism to repeat the question. While his eyes are rolling up. What is bigger one 16th or one 30 seconds? You got the answer right. All the matters of results. This is America The fucking method to get there doesn't matter just results America is not a time trial So do you understand like a base like if I said what is Like if I said like I was stationed in the army. What is 10 in base five?

What the fuck is that? What is 10 in base five? How the fuck is that? What is 10 in base five? How would you express 10 in base five, Gus? I fucking fine. Oh, I don't remember how to do that. I only really doesn't have that spirit in my mouth. I'll remember his binary. The math portion is over. How do you express 10 in base five? Two? Two? Yeah. Five in the 10, okay. I remember hearing those words. I don't remember how they applied anything. So I'm way, way from the mic. Like, I'm a face. I remember the word. I was more into the vocabulary of math.

I was more into the treble. All right. What was your best subject in school, Bernie? Like in high school? Um, gosh, I don't know. I'm, I'm realizing I did my basic question wrong. I don't know. Um, that subject in school was writing. I mean I did my basic question wrong. I don't know. That subject in school was writing. I mean, it was yeah. I always had fun, you know, doing writing.

And it was the thing I would do outside of school. I would do math for fun, clearly. You brought in your letterman's jacket or whatever recently? For a short, we never ended up putting you in. Yeah, bringing on. What would you do letterman again. It was something pretty cool. I let it in theater and math. I let it in theater and choir.

We're pretty close. I did not do math. 10 is 20 and baseline. 20. It is 20. You forgot about the 0. No, I just did a stupid thing. Yeah, it's just got to go to the second category.

Yep. I learned base 10. I was trying to think that we work in base 1, which makes no sense. See, I understand the words I recognize. It's just the context when you put them together makes no sense to me. Here's a simple thing.

Like, I said base five. I said two. I was wrong, because I was just short circling my own math. But essentially, the highest you can go for base five would be for unit. We can go all the way up to nine, zero through nine. That's base 10 is what we work in. Base five, you go up to five.

So 20 is two units of filled single units. That makes sense. No, good. The easiest way would be to go to 6, the next unit above the 5. So the high unit and then one of the low units. So explain this to me, that base 10 you can go up to 9, but base 5 you can go up to 5. So why do you lose the one between 9 and 10? Why can't base 10, why can't you go up to 10?

Zero through 9 is 10 units. One isn't zero through 4 base 10, why can't you go up to 10? 0 through 9 is 10 units. 1 isn't 0 through 4, 5 units? Why can you go up to 5? Yeah, while I'm saying you go up to that, then 5 goes into the next column. Like when you carry the one, you're carrying a 5 over. It's like carrying a 10. Why the fuck would you do that?

I feel like what's the pride? We're doing binary space 2. So you have two states, if 0 and 1. So the way you express 2 in we request two in base two is ten yes I feel like I don't make no I feel like somebody should come and beat up all of you right now that the I feel like swearing you know consistently this what the podcast I guess what either that why do why do people use different bases anyway like the site like I know binaries obviously used for

Computers to indicate like a state of something's on or off I know hexadecimals also used you know for for memory addresses But why would people use any of the other bases? I don't know. I don't know seems like pointless math I feel like there's a lot of math out there just set out to confuse people. You're not good at math Well, I wonder why in America we study how to calculate the area under a parabola like that's basic math that you'll never ever need in your entire life Or the volume of a cylinder or something like that, but we don't teach economic math as part we've talked about this before Yeah, it's trusty. We all learned what the result of that is two years ago Yeah, you know, we don't teach you know

We teach probability more than we teach interest in percent. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense We use percent percent is probably the most complex math math we all use on a daily basis, right? Certainly no use fractions. That's percent. Thank you, Jeff. I could not have been more spot on. You're welcome. All right. Well, I want to cut this thing short today. I my fucking base five mistake as fast as I can. All along I say, you're gonna like this guest. All right, I'm ready. I'm ready to like it. So, I saw this link somewhere. It was probably on a Reddit that I saw it. And I read about the Nordstrom's employee manual that they give to their employees.

You know Nordstrom's? Yeah. It's a high-end kind of nice. Bansy department store? The place that I was asking me to You know Nordstroms? Yeah. It's a high-end kind of advice. Yeah. Fancy department store? The place that I was asking me to leave. Is it true? No. It's good. Somebody posted their employee handbook, and I want to read you entirety the employee handbook

at Nordstrom. OK. And this is from Wikipedia. For many years, new employees were given a copy of the famous Nordstroms employee handbook, handbook, which is a single five by eight inch gray card containing 75 words. It says, welcome to Nordstrom. We're glad to have you with our company. Our number one goal is to provide the out to provide outstanding customer service. Set both your personal and professional goals very high. We have great confidence in your ability

to achieve them. Nordstrom rules, rule number one, use best judgment in all situations that will be no additional rules. Please feel free to ask the department manager, store manager, or division general manager any question at any time. Wow, that's pretty cool. Just common sense, right? Don't be an idiot. Putting a lot of faith in your employees. Yeah, that's so. I hope they have a good vetting process before they hire someone. There's a little footnote after that saying now there's like a manual that goes along with that car. But I just like the idea that back, you know, there was a point in history when you can tell people, look, just don't be stupid, don't fuck up. We're not going to tell you all the ways you can possibly fuck up and then tell you not to do that. Just don't fuck up. Yeah. But I don't know, when you

started a new place, you don't know all the little like rules and like what you're supposed to say. I mean, something may seem like common sense, but it might be totally kind of productive in some ways. So common sense is kind of a weird phrase. You use that a lot, and it always makes me so mad. You're like, what's just common sense? It's definitely obvious to you, like no one else. What would be an example of that? Oh, are you trying to get things get them started?

No, no, no, I really don't have an example. He uses it a lot, not against me, but just in general. Well, this is just plain common sense. But like, something that's common sense to me, like, I don't know, like, out in the studio making something with my hands, I feel really comfortable with that. And it's like, well, why wouldn't you just do that? That's a good point.

When I think of a common sense, it's like, when you say, turn the burner on to cook chicken, when you're done, turn the burner off. That's common sense. Yeah, but you use it for more than that. More abstract ideas that are really, I don't know. I think people in general use, oh, well, Like that's common sense. Yeah, but you use it from more than that. Like more abstract ideas that are like really, I don't think people in general use, oh, well, that's just common sense.

It's something that it's really obvious to them, but it's not necessarily obvious to every single person in the world. It's just an overuse. All I'm saying is it's just a real. What are we talking about this time? I don't know. So you just don't like the phrase.

I don't. I just don't think it makes sense. It's not a very common sense. I mean, common sense. I mean, every person has a different background and they have different things that are obvious to them. But I think that's what it means. It's common sense. It's common to everyone. There's like a shared sense that people should have. Like, you know, no, but that's so location-based, like background-based. Common sense of stuff like don't touch fire. Yeah. Well, but I'm saying it's overused because people

use it for things that aren't that basic. The things that are just obvious to them. Well, if you had an example, I would be happy to answer you. I would say, okay. To me, common sense is I can walk into a situation in which I don't know what's happening. No one's told me how to interact with that situation, but I can figure it out based on the context and normal rules of how to interact with other people. Right. Like, I don't know.

If I work in Nordstroms, I'm not going to tell someone they're a jackass when they walk in the front door. Or that they're too fat for that dress. Right. Just use your best judgment. Right. Use your best judgment. And if you don't use your best judgment,

isn't good enough Nordstrom, what's the fire you? That's shit. It didn't work out. You don't have to work here. No deal. Thanks for trying. But that's a common sense within your area. I mean, there's social, I'm sorry to argue,

but there's social rules in each sort of area. And like, you go to a different country and those common sense rules are not going to apply anymore. What are you talking about? I don't. I don't. Do you think people go to other countries and work in a department store?

No, but I'm just saying like if you, you know, you have to have to do my time travel. What happens? I don't know why this is so hard. Like, do you know, it agrees with me? Like, I would just in common sense. It's a very location-based. It's like, even class-based sometimes, what certain rules, social rules are.

Under basic understood things aren't so basic if you take somebody totally out of context and put them in a different place. Is that what you mean? It's a way of context. Just like. No, I could potentially walk into a situation in China where I would not speak the language.

And I think I would know I wouldn't get myself into more trouble, you know what I mean? At least staying quiet, you know, and just observing what's going on. I would have common sense not to come blustering in like an American. You're not gonna drop your pants. We saw some videos from Dude Online who was screaming at guys in a tiny bar because they cut them off and they wouldn't let them drink anymore. And his defense he was drunk. And he got knocked out.

Yeah. You're wanting somebody snorers when they pass out. I can tell you that people snorer when they get knocked out all the time. I've seen a lot of knockout videos on YouTube. He was not using common sense. He was not. He was not. That guy.

That guy. They did not end well for that guy. No. It did not end well. Yeah. And if I wanted to start something between the two of you, I'd bring up the time that on the podcast, Jeff said he has never left a woman unsatisfied in bed. You've been trying to bring another one. Never wanted to lie. I can't point to...

He certainly doesn't remember a time that that happened. Never wants ever. I'm very happy for both of you. Oh, no, okay. Hey, and you're welcome, by the way. No, I don't know. No, I mean, you, I think that you, you're... I'm a considerate lover. You, you're very considerate, but there are times where like, maybe I, I don't know how deep I can get. Griffin has a longer time. It's a safe place.

Okay. I don't know, nothing will leave this little room. I don't know. This little conversation between you and the poor. It just between us, yeah. We're just friends talking. OK, well, then I will be open. God, demons.

I'm going to take off my glasses for this. Let me get another drink. OK. No, like, I might be a little loud. So I think that I may give the indication sometimes that things are happening when they're not happening yet. Oh, really?

But Jeff always makes the effort, like he doesn't just, he's not just like, oh, oops, sorry, anyway, good night. Like, he's not like that at all. And he's, you're great. But there's, you certainly not ever, I mean, I would never say never if I were you. You never say never. I'm saying there might potentially have been

a point at some point in there where not everyone was on equal level. That's not. No, but that being said, where it's usually it goes the other way where I, um, girls can have, I'm sorry, girls have multiple orgasms, especially when they get older. And so it's not bad. I mean, I already have more orgasms generally. So I think that it balances out, but it doesn't happen very often where things are misinterpreted. Definitely, it's really disappointed.

Why are you looking disappointed? You should never have said that and been so braggied about something when it's possible that you... This is the point. This is a bad morning, too, that we've only kind of bickery this morning. I can't. I can't get a reminder that this mother

will listen to the mother. No, I'm pretty sure my mom knows I'm sexually active. Not all the time, though. I can't. I have to figure out. I think you're just sexually present. No. No. No. No. Not all the time though. I can't I I have to your I just sexually present Well, I was certainly he at least it sounds like he puts a little bit more. I mean you guys are just like

We didn't you guys say that like but kind of proudly admitting that you don't always please your wives Does not what I heard? I don't care about I didn't say shit I feel like you backed for an ambulance God damn thing go to the tape. I didn't say about it. I don't care about butt. That's true. It would be fucking awesome on the podcast. Except I wouldn't drive her down here. He's laughing now. So you're saying I don't please you in bed. I'm not saying that at all. I just said you can be multiple orgasms and it totally balances out. But I'm saying that sometimes you amiss interpret what I'm doing or how I'm reacting as an organ. Well, maybe you should be clearer.

What do you want to do? It should just like typically silence while it's happening. You should have a light or a little flat that you raise. It's like a symbol like a word. Initiating orgasm now. No, no, no.

Robot sex. I was saying for like, banana. Maybe you can put a progress bar in you. And then you go. There you go. No, I don't know. It's hard and also there's so many different variations in orgasms for women.

Because there's a lot more balancing. And that's something I think that men overlook because they're like, this thing worked. So I'm going to keep doing this thing forever. And it doesn't work like that for girls every time. You do have to switch it up and see what else works. I know you're not talking about me right now. Oh, no, not you at all.

Other people. You want to hear about it the other people? So you're saying, about me right now. Oh, no, not you at all Other people you don't hear about the other people Chasing let me just extrapolate here. You're saying watching Jeff be a campaign left for denim expert doesn't get you hot and bothered every single No, I mean in general and I think it's like for all you guys out there listening Don't just do the same thing over and over because it worked one time like It takes like, it's just different for girls every single time. So, and also like orgasms aren't always so clear either for a girl, especially when they blend in together.

It sounds like a lot of work. You guys are getting bored now. You wanted to talk about this, and now you're all fucking flying. No, just bored. It's complicated. It is complicated. It's not over so well. That's not like a guy.

Well, don't worry about it. How many times are you even less unsatisfied? Oh, don't even start. It's not, listen, just because it's something over so well. That's not like a guy. Well don't worry about How many times you even less unsatisfied? Oh, don't even start It's not listen just because it's something worth one time for me Don't assume you do the exact same boring motion every time I'm not saying they're boring fun and exciting for me. I need to be pleased I need you to be inventive. I need to I need you to think about what space I'm in when we're having sex I saw pay attention to my body.

Cosmopolitan this month, the one with Katy Perry in the cover. I was looking at that for some reason. And on the cover, they had sex advice. And there was, the big headline was, first take off his pants. I thought, finally, they got it. There is good sex advice, finally. They broke the story. Cosmopolitan scientists have been working nonstop for years to figure that one out

Have you ever read some of that stuff in cosmopolitan like yeah, no? What guys like but you're reading it from a female perspective? Then what do we like it's really it's really funny first of all if those are written like every single guy in the world is like a mid 20s Guy in New York City, you know who's like an urban artist or something like that and they're trying to please that guy. Right, of course. I'm actually really to hear that that's not what guys are into because it's actually,

I don't know, I get really turned off by this thing. It's like, oh, I have to do this to please a guy, I fuck that. Like it's all horrible stuff. Yeah. It's all I think all I've ever seen is the headlines and it's always, even just the headline in the covers laughable enough All right, so now can we wrap up for real now that we got the potty talk out of the way? I just want to know if ever we said it's what status water

I need some kind of indication We can't have the same boring podcast where we talk every week. Oh, you know, don't give me shit All right, your eyes are probably thinking the same thing at home. I mean she was laughing But was she laughing laughing like like she was was laughing, but was she laughing laughing? Like, she was laughing loudly, but was she laughing loudly enough? Okay, I'm sorry, but sound is not enough. If you guys are there relying on women moaning, that's not enough. There are other indications, and it's fairly obvious, I think.

So we have a bad sex life? Not at all. That's not what I'm saying at all. I just fragged about multiple orgasms. I shouldn't have to be on that. I shouldn't have to say anything. Okay, there you go. I would like to say that we have a store sale going on right now. And that if you liked this podcast and would like to support Ristartese, feel free to buy some of our discontinued merchandise. Please do. It is available for cheap, cheap, cheap. Oh, and also thanks to Flashover Games for a free copy of Star Wars Force Unleashed 2. I also thank to you Rock games. Oh shit, yeah.

I think we kind of put that in. How do we not talk about that? About that. But when that last week, they actually had two achievements. Definitely one achievement. One is questionable. And one other achievement in the DLC for Red Dead that mentioned Rysheet.

A reference Red versus Blue or Rysheet. Yeah, thank you. What did they say, Tommy? One of them, I think they're both secret achievements, aren't they? They are secret achievements, so I don't want to say it. But they're both, they both involve mythical creatures that have been highlighted in red versus blue and the or achieve my hunter One might be a little more obvious if you want to yeah, and then one might just be us reading into things

But the obvious one's obvious and thank you very much. That's very cool. Yes. Thank you And if any other video game company would like to feature us as an achievement feel free Also, thank you to McCulley Coulken for wearing the Touch My Awesome Button t-shirt. He look good on it. He's actually a little good in it. Yeah. If you're daily Meal Acunis, is he daily Meal Acunis? Oh yeah. Man, forever. That means if they had sex while he was wearing a shirt, she had sex with a Touch My Awesome Button shirt. I know what I want to picture of. I want to picture of McCulley Coulken, high five and Brian Austin green There you go

Because it's like you always hear about these these famous women. It's like who they did like you ever hear about a who's Miranda not Miranda curve Who's the sports illustrator one Marissa Miller? Melissa Miller dated she's married to some construction dude. Yeah Yeah, I'm married for you like for a few years. What's her fame? Anna Fer is made to a big tubby fat dude. Who's nobody? That's not the right. Is it no? I'm saying that that's you know, what's awesome? She's taking one thing. Is he also an actor is he I don't know I don't know why an actor would everyone are dating another actor It just seems like the one that's the craziest to me is you always see Eddie furlong with super hot chicks like he was with that hot

Shick from Star Trek. Oh, he was dating What's your name? Jolene Blanlock Jolene Blanlock. She had a cover of one of those horrible men's magazines with like FHM or details or whatever that was unbelievable. Yeah Can I ask you guys a question please you guys are meant like adult men supposedly don't pause I don't see that statement and you guys all lot about slavery gossip I mean, I don't even know these people and you guys know all about their like the inner Hot chicks though. Yeah, it all comes back around the boobs I can see that I can see that I don't know one of those housewives shows. I don't know anything about that I don't watch any of those stupid cooking shows Jeff watches and only those summer Dance and singing shows that they put on I don't any of those people's names. I gotta care less

But you know your hot chicks, but I know the obscure dude who's dating the hot chick that's the guy who gives me hope yeah that's important the top of you dude that's married to an aferris like that fucking dude that was married to uh Britney Murphy that dude that dude was bald and fat and he was banging Britney Murphy every day not about that I'm just a friend and there's some more of that story yeah let's learn something from that I do you know the name of the cameraman who the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right to the right I'm like puked from the real world. I look like John Asher. John Asher, it's his name. Yeah, he had a famous dad, right? Did he? I don't remember.

Yeah, he directed to the horrible movie with her. It was either Lloyd Bridges or... Who's the guy before him? Lloyd Bridges? No, there's got like Lloyd Bridges, and then there's another guy who's like him. Not Martin Cheen, but I guess I'm going to spend Lloyd Bridges. He's a guy with the stroke. There's two of those old do two are almost interchangeable to me. I don't know I'll get a blade old. These are all pretty much the same. Where's the dude who had the stroke a lot of details strokes

Well, yeah, it's true, but this would be a famous guy who had a stroke and was in movies stroking it out. Oh Okay, I'll look it up now I look at it on a downer because I couldn't think of somebody's name. He's not Mary Dunia Hot chick. Yeah, that's what I know that. Okay, okay, I believe both of you. You're totally straight. I got it. I think John Asher's father was William Asher?

Who was William Asher? I have no idea. That's that you're asking. His producer, director, William Asher. You know, guess you're way over there in the corner running everything, because you're like taking it up or whatever, but I miss you. You feel it really far away. It's odd to talk to you across the room with a computer between us.

It's a side effect of the new setup. Can you not try to sleep with my best friend in front of me? Well, apparently she's not satisfied. Have a blast. That's what we've learned. I really do guys They know advanced math. I know I need that would be that easy by the way That was awesome. It's great to be made with someone who has multiple orgasms because that means you're like Oh, yeah, I don't know guys. I mean like I had an orgasm yet

No, I'm actually no I Seven or guys to go I'm pretty demanding and I do I do like I'm pretty direct Which I've heard people say it would be a good thing because then they know you know That person knows what they want and then it's easy, but it's got to be annoying. I mean I've got to be annoying. I see that No, I usually don't care in the moment. You're perfectly lovely Guys like information. Yeah, yeah, it's true. It's the internet started blog about it. Automate the whole process just tweet it. Okay, can we end now? No, he's looking at that.

I was trying to kill time. Oh, I can look at this thing. I think the movie that they were in what's called diamonds that they did but I was actually looking at Cosmo tips for pleasing your man. See, we just keep streaming it on. Do you want to hear some of this? I do. Guess does not enjoy our company. Pleasing your man. Why do you want to leave so soon, Gus? I promised my, it's not a joy or company. Pleasing your man. Why do you want to leave so soon, Gus? I promised my dad'd finish the podcast earlier today, so I could help him this afternoon

with any short production. Yeah. 20 ways to please your man. 20 ways. Did you do those 20 ways? No, no, there's not 20. There's one way. It's like name six, if you can.

Unless it's stuff like when he crawls into bed have an Xbox controller right under the covers First of all is one of the first ones is where a football jersey come on come on No, you guys are into this not your fetish. I just got him take it off you then I want to imagine my favorite football player while we do this Ultimate cosplay to me my favorite football player while we do this. I know, you know, full of players are just like the ultimate cosplay to me. I don't want to mention them. I mean, in 20-war, yeah.

You know, I would be afraid if I walked through the bedroom and I saw a girl, a hot girl in a sports jersey. I'm like, oh, man, I'm not going to have to talk to her about sports. Also, the next time you go to watch football, you're like, man, is it, is it, is it it's not hot or, oh, wait, that's right. You're going to confuse us. That's the same thing. You know, I don't, I honestly, that's right. You're gonna confuse me. Now I'm not gonna do dudes. Yeah.

I honestly, I do not like when girls talk to me about sports. I'm pretty, you think I'm misogynistic, but you're crazy. I actually have been trying. Okay, I didn't even say that. You didn't have to be insulting immediately. I am misogynistic on one thing though. That was a joke. I said you're crazy because you're a woman. I'm not misogynistic. I think of it. I actually don't like female sports reporters. I don't like that. Why is that? I don't know It just feels like pandering to me. I don't like female punk singers I mean like if you listen to like your heart profile

No, it's just like screechy like you can't make a woman's voice scream that much of that are hurting and it's just like Oh fine like I just like man. I can get it's like I know that sounds kind of sexist But I just can't deal with the voice is that part of it like hearing like the female tone trying to get excited about sports I just feel like they're always trying to play catch up. I don't know why I think it's just I think it's just a side effective If you if you doesn't want to talk to women about sports, why do you want to hear about it from them? It's the same thing I think I'd like to point out that I have no problem with any of these things I think it's great that there are women's sports reporters and women in punk bands. Did Brett Farve and Trouble Machia, you can please a woman in bed?

Did Brett Farve send a picture to some sports reporter? I think that's great. Didn't Brett Farve, is he in trouble? India allegedly sent pictures of his dick to some sports reporter? Yeah, well he admits to sending to sexting her while he was married, but he says the day pictures didn't happen. I hate that term sexting. I just hate that everything has to be like that now. Like, everything on Twitter. That's the one thing with the downside of Twitter.

Everything's like some play on the word Twitter and it's just like, oh, get over it. I don't like it. There you go. You guys don't want to weigh in on the topic of female sports reporters? I don't have an opinion. I don't think I watch enough sports to ever notice. I'm here. I'm happy what you said about having female. I'm very happy they're female musicians doing whatever they want to do. I just don't want to listen to, I don't like punk music anyway. I just don't want to listen to it, but I'm happy they're out there.

Whatever they do in the privacy of their own studio. Keep that shit behind closed doors. I actually think I listen to more female musicians than male musicians. Oh yeah, me too, but not just not punk. I just don't like the screechy quality of the like she doesn't like my my old ringtone For instance, yeah, no one like you Brain is going this bad not to you guys were making fun of me the day when we're shooting immersion You guys made fun of me for playing Cheryl Crow

We're making fun of you what you were playing before leading up to that you had a bad run of music Yeah, it was like a string there's nothing cool about show crow no fence I mean don't get me wrong I'd banger she hot she's super hot there should be very pleased to hear that I'm there too much waiting I'm gonna fight I think you've got the endorsements from Griffin right there's a good chance I could please her on occasion on occasion you're really reading you're taking this way negative negative. It's not my fault, Bernie brought it up. That's sexy, you're gonna run it. I'm not the one.

It is the best I've ever had. Damn right. I'm just being honest, that's all I think. Don't you care about honesty? I thought we cared about honesty. I just realized it's good. So happy that our sex life is now open for the internet. Anything else you like to talk about?

It's been open for the internet for a while. Yeah. Yeah, if there's some more private stuff out there, it'd be great. Well, I just got a comment from, and it better than it just got, I don't know, just mom, it listens to the podcast, and she's on the website. in a while for a while. Yeah. Yeah. Throw some more private stuff out there. It would be great. Well, I just did a comic for, and it bit it, and it just got, I don't know, just mom, it listens to the podcast, and she's on the website, and it gets like, I don't just want to hear about it at Christmas, but the whole family.

Give me your mom's like, you're a Carmen like a turkey, and they're like, so what about that podcast? Yeah, and I was like, I saw a comic called Monogamy Plus. Could you, what is that? Yeah. Oh, I think we told your mom that was just for the comics, so let's try to keep going. It is just, yeah.

Total dope, guys. Hi, your boyfriend, Lucky Underwear. Oh, fine. Thank you, wear on certain days. Is that what does that mean? What does that mean? I don't know who the fuck knows. Who the fuck wrote this?

I think guys considered their underwear sexy. In any way, this is what they told you. The magazine is just like like it makes no sense. Lucky, I don't even understand the concept. Lucky, is it like lucky brand underwear? It's a brand of underwear? No, it's not. Or is it like this is your, like, when you wear this underwear, you're gonna get a special

treat? Because I would wear that underwear every fucking day. You would? Yeah, no, this is my only pair of underwear now. I'm sorry, I burned the rest of it. It's all like, I would do laundry every day. It's my blow job underwear. Thank you. See that's a life boy. I would do laundry every day. It's my blowjob underwear Thank you. See that's probably most guys wouldn't do the laundry every day

But they'd be my lucky underwear though or is it just like Cute underwear I don't know okay, so what not okay I don't want to not to make everyone keep talking about their sex lives because apparently that's uncomfortable for everyone but What it went non-sexual thing is a big turner for you like when you guys go home and like Something's ready for you or like something. Oh dude, girls and football jerseys? Am I lucky underwear? Yeah.

No, I'm asking you because I've been pretty open so I think you should all be open. Like what thing is like a big turn on doesn't have to be sexual. Could it just be like a nice gesture? I think guys are pretty simple. I think the main thing that a guy wants is a girl who's nice and likes him. Yeah. Really? Like especially like a guy comes in and she's happy to see him. That's... That's a tall order.

Yeah. So it's deciphering the secret code. You know, just like, you know, one of the great things my website is just like, just talks about it's great to see you and all that stuff. And then there's days when I come home and, you know, I get to share her day right away. Of course, there was a kid out there. Yeah, in words like, you know, she's had a tough day. And, you know, I think a lot of girls want to share, you know,

they want someone to like, oh, you're finally home. So now I can like expires like everything that happened to me in the day and my feelings and like that. Whereas it's just like, hey, we're happy to see each other kind of a thing. Those days are the great days and the days when you you get a couple of those other days in real, it gets kind of hard. Well, I can see two women like to have,

I mean, they think that their partner is there to help, you know, share things. So I can see how there might be some tension between sexes when it comes to like expectations in relationship. And you got to make a sister day because I was kind of being, like, we were both obvious today and kind of victory.

And like, I thought you were mean to me, but you were just like focused on what you're doing, and you just weren't paying attention to me, but it came up sort of flippant. And then I was just being hypercritical of everything you're doing. And you just got so mad, like, we were keeping it together, because we have a house guest.

So we were like, well, a lot of things are pleasant on the surface, and we get into the bedroom, and it's like, blah, like immediately. Yeah. And when we were about to funny thing, it's like, now that we're tired and married and everything, we did that for like two minutes, and we were both passed out. Like, we can do the argument. When you're getting there is like now that we're tired and married and everything. We did that for like two minutes and we're both passed out.

Like we can do that. We can do that. And you're dating. It's like the argument can last for hours and you open up everything. You look at everything and you really don't do that when you've been with somebody for a while. It's like you can plan for like two minutes and pass out. What are you saying?

We'll just argue about it. No, I just thought I was kind of being bitchy and I thought he was being bitchy. We're just being bitchy. There you go. Bad mood. Yeah, we were just so off yesterday. I mean, I'm just tired. I'm tired lately. I had a bad day yesterday This it was yesterday. It was a hard day. I had a hard day It's a Jeff had a hard day where technology failed me and I need it was rough That happens to you today too. You just and I know like a weird role. You've been on a bad street

I had a going for a while. It was like I'm fine to crashed on you You've been on a bad street. You've had that going for a while. It was like I'm finder crashed on you. I know. It happened to me this morning. I opened a folder and finder crashed. Maybe you were trying the same things you tried in the past. Really?

Yeah. Are you trying to egg things on? It's like I'm trying to read the Da Vinci cons. The last year was like, you want to find that file again? Double click again. Please, I've seen that before. Try right clicking it open once in a while God Mix it up. You know what? Okay. Can I can I suggest something to all of you? Why don't you scroll like you meet it if you guys if you guys would like to find a very simplistic

Relationship where you can come in and like immediately you pancer dropped and you just have sex you do the same thing You did before and it's totally awesome and it's fast hook up up with a dude. It's called a prostitution. Guys are way easy. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. You're like, then you've got to deal with transactions. How hard is it to get a contractor to your house? Seriously. I think it's that true. Wait, are you sleeping with a contractor? I think she's sleeping with a gay guy. So, your sexual advice to us is find-

No, I'm just saying, like if you're complaining about the- Women being too complicated and taking forever are like needing to try different things. And like, if you're complaining about women's basic nature as an annoyance, then maybe you should consider something else. Here's the thing I'll turn to them. Here's the problem. You ask me, what would guys want in a woman? I told you, and they're saying, stop complaining.

I can't say anything. You said, you tell me if all this stuff, I was explaining how women, no. That wasn't against what you were saying. It's just kind of the theme of the conversation. Has been what's wrong with women. That's what I've been hearing. Again, perception.

Tell what you said. It's what I heard. I know what you meant. That's how you said it. No, I guess you didn't tell me what you're talking about. What is it? I don't know. I don't know that such an abstract question.

You don't know what you want. It's your vodka waiting for you at the front door. I want things taken care of. I don't want to, I mean, this might sound bad, but, you know, I have stuff that I do during the day, and I want to know that the stuff I don't do, that's not my responsibility, has been taken care of. So you want somebody to use this as a problem. I want someone, like, I want, you know, that symbiosis.

Like, I want everyone to take care of their responsibility. Like, everybody's working in tandem toward the greater good of the family. Right. Because what's a corporate department? I don't want to have to call HR, you know, to be a full deal. I'm, can I tell you something?

So, if, if, if definitely I don't ever work out, we should never hook up, because I would totally not be there for anything else. It has to be a total mess. You'd hate me. Yeah, well, you'll cook and do the dishes. Yeah, you'll pretty much be doing it. I don't even know what I do, but I feel tired all the time.

It's always been this case in all my relationship, but the order of magnitude of stuff that my girlfriend or wife have given me, far away, the stuff I give them to do. I don't give my wife really anything to do. I give her to kids. That's a lot. That's a lot. But it's not like a daily thing of,

can you pick up this, can you get this, can you go here, can you do this? Uh-huh. I found that when I was working at, like, when before I was working in the office and I was working freelance here, but also other places and just had like a bunch of jobs. But being at home, people assume that you're just there

to do errands, or why didn't you do this. Or definitely call me like, oh shit, I forgot my hard drive, can you bring it down? And I'm happy to do it, but it's at the same time I'm like, I am working, this is work. I mean, I'm at home, but I'm still working. You never walk into some of these often, say, I know you're in the middle of something,

but can you go run downtown and copy this thing from the having it ever seen you're off in? You never worked with Matt before. I was about to say, I'm sure that happens all the time. Yeah, but generally people wouldn't feel comfortable busing into your office or like calling you when you're at work, actually at there with a boss looking over you saying, can you just take care of these five things for me? So it's hard like that's, I don't know where I was going.

So you did that you would give worked up to do when she was at home? Oh, everyone would. Like not just Jeff, like people would just call me like, oh, you're at home, right? You're flexible. I would do, I would call you and do things like, I would just go me like, oh, you're at home, right? You're flexible. I would do it. People would call you and do things like, I would just go, like, friends, can you do me a favor? If I make the appointment, can you take Millie to the doctor?

Like, that kind of stuff. No, no, no, that's understand. Like, that's totally kid stuff is understandable. And now just dumb stuff, like, you forget, shit a lot. And when we were down town, it was a really easy little jump. Yeah, that's true. I've asked you to bring hard drives to the office. Like, last week, you forgot your hard drive, like,

at work and then at home, like like five times you forget your hard drive. Every day. But I would do it in a really sweet way where I'd be like if it's at all convenient to you, then that would be awesome. I know. I know. You would never like call up somebody in an office and say, Hey, can you go and get this for me?

Sure I would. Okay. I know. I was talking about use of this. I asked Gus to bring stuff by the house for me that I left it work. I know he's still in the office. How many times have we been on a location? And it's like, hey, call the office.

Find out who over there and have them. Well, this is like, this is a very old job on every immersion, essentially. I'm not even speaking specifically. I love him for it. I mean, I think this group is very different. And we just such so many different things and we're in and out. And it's like not a typical company. I'm just saying like in general, I've heard other freelance people complaining about the suit.

It's not just you. I'm just saying in general, people, when you work at home or or you work freelance like people just assume that you're available at all times If you would ever for them. I can understand a lot of times when you work at home The company will make sure that you have a dedicated space that closed off from the rest of the house Don't work at home because they know if people are there These something is if you're home You're there to do home stuff, you know, and it's just it's taken for granted It is hard to make that separation to you

because you'd be working like, oh fuck, I'm watered my plants, or something dumb. And those little things get in the way. Yeah, they do. It is nice to be in office because then you feel you just get a lot more focused, except for this office, which is not focused. Well, it's fun.

I'm thinking of example. I've worked at home and I've worked here, obviously. But it's not very likely that my wife would suddenly show up in my office here and say, Hey, I'm leaving the two kids downstairs while I need to run and take care of a few things. Yeah. Can you just keep an eye on them? What you would drop them off at our office to do that when you guys got the beauty office because you had been working out in one of your in your guest room or something, right? Right office. We had a spare better in my house. How long did you guys do you represent in there? 50 episodes. Yeah, 50 episodes there. When you got the office in beauty Did you find like immediately that you were a lot more productive or were the different things you had to worry about?

It's hard to tell. No, well yes and no. I can tell you that the day we moved into that beauty office We became a like a quote-unquote company and there became a lot more work to do. Okay, you know like we found we started filling our days with other stuff whereas you know I don't know when you're worried about imposing in some of these house you're less likely to hang around or do whatever. Yeah. I am just now, if not for some of the stuff I've due this week for production, this would be the week that I've finally finished essentially all my admin work for moving into this building. Wow. I'm almost all done with it. Yeah, I know we're still catching stuff that fell through the cracks, you know, mailed and hasn't gotten forwarded.

And like piddling things like that, you don't think about. Yeah, like just making sure that everything's the way it should be. And we still have some cadmits stuff we have to do. But it's and one floor thing, but that's it. So it's hard to tell. Well, like when we first move, it's definitely kicked up. You know, we're doing shorts all the time here. And we're already working on pre-production stuff

with the new Red versus Blue. And we've got immersion, cranking in the background, and put that out yet, but soon. So yeah, there's a lot more production, but it's like on an individual level. It's kind of hard to tell. I feel like I'm an admin minutia hell sometimes. What does seem like, you definitely,

you work to fill your space. When you guys are downtown, you weren't really expanding because there was no room, but then when you started to expand, you realize you need a bigger space. But now it feels like there's something every day. I feel like there's a short, a two short film every week. Plus, we do try to squeeze the immersion in. I think we're very, we're being very productive in the

new office. Yeah, it's a lot more. It's a creatively inspiring space. It's nice to have the room, not to be cramped on top of the show. And the studio is awesome. So it makes you feel more, I guess, enticed to do production, right? When did you say, Bernie, that you were going to do a reveal and kind of show the community the office?

Oh, I think maybe, you know, as we get things done, you know, we still need blonde. We still have a few things for you to hammer out. That was my responsibility. I wanted to come in tomorrow. We got paper. Are they, yeah, they're coming tomorrow over my fucking. Yeah, tomorrow is the 18th. Yeah, or 28. What is the 28th? 28th is the old day. Now

that's the 28th. No, God, that would be so great. I love what somebody put me in charge of something in place organization. Griffin would be the best person for this. Yeah, it's a good day job. See that just proves your your theory. Not not not compatible. Well, Griffin, you gotta understand sometimes you just need to change things up You can't do things the way they worked once we want you to be happy Now are you guys gonna be okay? No, what what do you mean marriage wise? Like for the rest of the day. It's gonna be an issue. No. No. Okay. Do you feel like this was fighting because I feel no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no actually, you kind of made me nervous because we had to kind of be in bitchy last night. And we were fine this morning because you can't hold on to that stuff. But we did like an achievement that achievement video, which achievement was it?

It was collecting silver keys in Fable 3. Yeah, and it was like you have me to help you do the audio and then at some point like I made a joke about how you... That's great, that's so nice. That's a good time to spend together. How you miss somebody when you're trying to hit them, and you were just like, marriage is the worst thing that ever happened to me. How until this is over, whatever. And I got a little worried, I'm like, oh, maybe this is... Yeah, that's the comedy.

Maybe this is the end, because you said it with no humor in your voice at all. That's the humor though. It's the way you said it. It's the way it says it. I'm going to stop reading into things you say, somehow. I get news for you, there is nothing to read into in the way. It's just for you There's nothing to read into it. I'm very surface level. I am very surface level There's not a lot going on back there. Yeah in my brain. Does everything Jeff mad? Yes, I have what was he mad about? He's telling me mad ones. Oh, so I'm mad about the the what I was getting divorced

Yeah, and I broke it. I think we talked about that You're a break even we broke all the plates He didn't look mad except for the fact that he was breaking no, no, he was totally fine. Really? I was Yeah, the thousand yard stare it was it was cathartic. It was nice You're definitely like a see you're like you throw controllers and you like slam. I mean you take you very very long time to get to that Like you're not like you don't know what I think is that true? Yeah, it was at the old office and I broke it and I felt really bad about it. Are you through or control our home once?

Yeah, I think you told me recently, didn't you? Yeah, you took a toll. You took a toll. Right before we moved out. I was doing a... I don't even remember what the video was, but it was rough. Oh, I remember that. It was a mafia 2-1, yet to jump a car.

Oh! Yeah, that's right. We had to put the car in the roof. That was frustrating though. Have you ever tried to jump a car up an all day? I was actually really impressed because it looked difficult. Onto a snowy roof.

It was hard. Never tried that before. And stop the car. C-Jeff, she was impressed by you. Thank you. No. No. And your games do work.

No, actually, I will say, I mean, especially because one thing about playing Fable 3 I'm trying to. Playing Fable 3 right now, because I really want to help you make a few more videos for this. So I'm trying to keep up, playing table 3 right now, because I really want to help you make a few 100 videos for this. So I'm trying to keep up with you, and it's difficult because you actually have

dedicated time during the day to play, and I feel guilty of playing games, because I actually have, I've got other stuff to do that's not video games. Yeah, sure. But so last night I had to catch up, and so I had to just like, do you miss your mission, mission,

I couldn't go and like chat and around town and talk to people. It sucks all the fun out of the game. It does, and I have a lot of I have actually to kind of go ahead. I was just saying making achievement videos takes all it takes all the things you like about video game and throws them out the window and makes it work. Oh, no, it's true. It's always true. You love getting achievements. No, you do. The way you play it like you can't even you can't even you have to organize

things in a way to where like you are the most efficient way to get all of this achievement so you can sell it's played the most efficient way to get all of this achievement So you can sell it's played the game you want to play, but it takes all the fun out of the game You're playing because you can't really meander or do whatever. Yeah, no, I'm not complaining. That's how I play games anyway I love video games and I love achievements. I just got that I love my job achievement in red dead that was my last really hard one which was win three free You got it last night. I got it this morning. I had new strategy, which was now the DLC is out. I play at 630 in the morning when only Wow, people are up playing. You know all the 4am kids have gone to bed. They're actually like level 50 with golden rifles and

Everything else and I can play against the people so I got it this morning. Congratulations. Thank you I'd say it's about throwing controllers. I have a TV that is living on borrowed time TV should have had a controller through it about five different times. So you showed the controller at you wanted to make create the most damage as possible? Whatever is the biggest thing to blame essentially TV showed me my failures. So how close are you to 100% in that game? Well, I have one hard achievement I think left, which is I have to get a triple kill in a certain kind of game type. It's like a capture of the flag game type.

And then they have, there should be a rule against sticking in things that are qualifiers for achievements. Like there's a poker one I have to get where you have to start with a full table. What's it? Guess what? Nobody wants a load of bread to play poker. Yeah. You know, it's, you know, six months, seven months in and got for a bit like two or

three years in. No, you're not going to get a full table of poker people. How, well, how, what's a full table? I think six. Ah, that's rough. So, you know, you sit around waiting to get it. And then you have to have these, like, essentially, these luck circumstances arise to where you can win. Uh, we can beat everybody in the game after the blinds have been raised, like, five times.

Right. So that's one that I have to get. That was the thing that was always tough about the DLC achievements in Halo 3 for me Which would be like there would be like a zombie achievement and you'd be like great But I only play zombie like once every 20 games right maybe so it's like once every four hours I have an opportunity to get the achievement and then if I don't get it I'll be out of the four hour wait until I get it again Is it make it harder because you've got more pressure on those one like that? Yeah, oh, yeah

I do not do well under pressure and the Halo ones were tough too, because after a while, the later achievements were tied to map packs. So it was like, get a two kills to the grave on orbital. It's like, well, you have to wait for that game to get you. Not only do I have to get two kills to the grave, I've got to wait for orbital to come up in the mid. And then, where's everybody vetoes? You're like, son of a fuck. Here's a war is pretty is like that too,

where it's like, you have the opportunity to play two different game types And you're like, okay, I need achievements in this game type on this map Please don't veto this game type and then they veto it and then you're stuck playing another and you can't back out because you get penalized You know and then show you and up spending 30 minutes because those games can take forever playing the wrong game type Then nobody else wanted to you know that everybody else picked so that you can then maybe get back in the notation to try to get to the right game type And you can spend an hour trying to get the circumstances where you could get your achievement.

Right. And it happens a lot in gears because there's a ton of multiplayer achievements. I think the achievements worth more though because of that. No, no, no. Achievement value means nothing to me. It's the hundred percenting the game. So it's like, if there are 50 achievements in a game for a thousand points each achievement is equally as important to me Well, that's not true. The 50th achievement is the most important

The one that completes the circuit. I finally broke a 20,000 game or score Oh, yeah, it's really Xbox live. Yeah, congratulations Yeah, that's is it true that you weren't into achievements because you were already a little bit behind in Bernie and Jeff were competing That's that's the story I hear from both of these. Yeah because you were already a little bit behind in Bernie and Jeff were a computer. That's the story I hear from both of these. Yeah, so figured it. Oh, yeah, that's so weird. That's fine.

You never got into it too much because you're already behind and they're already competing. I don't want to play the game the way they want me to play the game. I want to do whatever I want to do. I don't want to have my game play dictated by something that doesn't matter at all. And I absolutely not. I understand both of you and how you like having these humans because it's just that added thing in the game. And actually, I do like, that one, I've failed to, I actually 100% and I never done that with the game before and it was cool Because I would it forced me to do things I would never have done and I got a lot more out of the game that way

But when you're on it when you have to do it fast like you do like to get videos out on time then it's like Like I was actually getting kind of stressed last night because I was wanting to do all these things and I was like I don't know I got to keep up, but um, it's definitely a different style of playing Great style point. No, I'm not I'm not criticizing at all. I'm just saying like, I don't know, I gotta keep up, but it's definitely a different style of playing. Great style of playing. No, I'm not criticizing at all. I'm just saying it's like it would take some getting used to. And I'm impressed that you can keep up with some, have so many games where I take it.

Satchelium, I think we know the answer to that. I don't think I'm OCD because I think that like being obsessed with the numbers would be OCD, but I do have a completion thing where I have to get them done. Like it's just I just I can't stand the fact that I have you know five achievements left and red done. I just finished the thing you know. You're a Capricorn. Is that what it is? I think so. The one that kills me is Grand Theft Auto IV. Whereas Jeff doesn't have to complete things. He can let him go. He's a dumbass. He's just funny. It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating.

It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating.

It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating.

It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating. It's just fascinating. night time podcast when she's off work when it is. She did it till stories. My mom would be like, yeah, freeze a nice boy, leave him alone. Are you guys going into Alabama for Thanksgiving? Definitely, definitely. I would like to do Christmas because it was great.

One thing about Jess family, my family is pretty broken up in distance and not really getting along. And I love that Jess family is really tight, like super tight knit. And they deal with these big holidays together, they have big meals together, and Millie is getting to experience that, and it's awesome. Who's gonna watch your house when you're gone? Um, you.

Somebody who doesn't have sex all over it. Yeah. Gross. Yeah, but I noticed you finally got rid of the smell. So. We have all new smells. This roll will stink. Yeah, I stink that house up.

Dude, what the hell? The biggest thing was that you left that suspicious white liquid and a little test tube in our spice rack. It was just like, I added my own spice. I don't know what you put in there, but it was. We experimented with many different mixed spots. I had to get out to find the grossest looking one. What did you end up using?

I don't even remember. We went through so many. Oh, man. That's a lot of thought. But it had separated and the top was just like. Yeah, that's disappointing. We didn't find. Oh, man a lot of thought But it had separated and like the top is the slide. No, that's disappointing No, it's fine That's not appropriate. Well, now your mom is gonna call. Oh God. I'm kidding my kid didn't drink that

Like it won't drink or eat anything. Yeah, I think that's the most thought that Gus has put into any of our relationships I would agree he's been more time I've known him he's got more time on our house and he was a better friend when I was at a town Then he's ever been in town. Or like not a better friend, but he's been more time focused on our friendship. But it's seven days I was at a town than he has in the last five years.

I have the feeling like if I haven't, if something happens, and I don't see Gus for 10 years, that I could see him after 10 years, it would like be the exact same. Oh, absolutely. I can confirm that. I hope so

You know like when he moved to Puerto Rico for a year and a half or whatever. I was like this sucks So I'm you know what's this gonna do to our friendship? Did do a goddamn thing to our friendship? I found out that Gus and I communicate solely via the internet and video games Sure, mm-hmm. So it didn't matter. I we talked on aim just as much as the time towers galaxy time our media more Star Wars galaxies I don't even remember that period really. I remember calling him a couple times But I don't remember dust being gone. You remember when you were asleep to cry? You'd get the funny Latin-hold music every time

you tried to call them. I remember the phone calls, because it was something I could really cool Gus with. I remember two things about his time of living in Puerto Rico, which was how long? It was a little over a year, almost a year and a half. A year of your life, here's what I took away from it. Chickens and hold music.

That's it. Fuzzy chickens. He had a fuzzy chicken in his front yard or his neighbor's front yard, and he had funny hold music. I think the neighbors grew suspicious from you always watching their chickens and they took them inside and moved them to the backyard. You got your neighbor said chickens that's it to me my fuzzy chickens. They're only weird chickens. What did you decide? Oh, I thought that that was just some kind of like stuffed animal or something. No, they had like they had silkies except they were all white.

Oh, okay. Yeah, it was really really weird Chickens are awesome. That's one fun thing about fable with the fable at the fable like universe They had just really into chickens and they're everywhere and there's this achievement that we got last night Or I got last night where they you have to get chickens to follow you back to this pen and like round them up around town Totally not an achievement just a mission. Oh, it's a mission. Okay. Sorry, but anyway Follows you around and they like move like chickens like that somebody actually spent the time to observe them and Captured some chickens Chicken chicken motion capture suit a little dots all over

Can I ask a favor? Can we in the podcast before it comes back around to me again? 500th time I've been trying to end it over and over and wait for someone else to end Yeah, I feel bad for Gus cuz he's gonna see hit it all up there. You see it circling around. Okay, you see him burning his eyes. No more plugs. Alright, thank you. Listen to me. Just grab the show to a newcomer and I'm more familiar with.

Do you like apples? Alright, example. Together in Treppethosts, Characombs, Characombs are afraid of Diaz of nothing to do with this podcast. Analyze various unsolved and ruse-startese cryptic podcast. F**k face. Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise specific, but short. Listen to show name on Apple Spotify or wherever you get podcasts. It's F**k face, a podcast. Subscribe or know. You do yes? Drive or no? You do yes?