Rooster Teeth Podcast - Rooster Teeth Podcast #92

Episode Date: December 15, 2010

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It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers, Will Arnet and Anthony Mackie comes the new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-octane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motormouth outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland. If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnet, and Thomas Hayden Church.

Twisted metal, streaming now, only on Pika. Wow! Ruseu T. Chorts volume 1! Gee, thanks Dad. I can't wait to go to film school. I don't boy, Addison. Ha ha ha ha. Ah, jeepers, Fritzie. What did you get?

A perfect TVT of all the pajamas sheep me, videos from Achievement Hunter! Oh, Daddy, thank you so much! Oh, you're welcome, female daughter! Ah, Christmas morning! I can't wait! Hey! You started without me! Merry Christmas, son. Just in time. It's your turn. Ah, really? Here you go. Be careful now.

Wow! Look at him go, Dad! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! You! That's right, son. It's the drunk tank! The drunk tank! Boy, boy, boy, boy! Dad, Dad, can I go listen to it now?

But all your other presents! Fuck him, Dad! Fuck him all! I want to hear the trunk tank! Ha-ha-ha! Okay, son. But don't listen to it all at once. You should savor it.

Oh, Dad! I'll savor it forever! Just gotta plug it in! Hey! It's not working! What the fuck?! Calm down, son. Here, smash it with the gravity hammer I got you for your birthday. Good idea, Dad. Hey, bro.

What's going on? Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! I'm bleeding! Shut up! Shut up!

Is it working? I think it's over. Oh, I'm bleeding! Yeah! Shut up, shut up! Is it working? I think it's all up! You're not talking yet though. No, wait, I think I hear something. Welcome everyone to the most creepy intro I think you've ever had. That was awesome, so I'm obviously put a lot of work into that. I'm gonna put a lot of work. That was a full filling Bernie's holiday theme request. That was incredible. If only they had put a username or a real the interfilling Bernice holiday theme request.

That was incredible. If only they had put a username or a real name or anything so I could thank them. They didn't. Just an email address. You want to give them out their email address? Yeah, you can email them at drumtancintro at hotmail.com. That's not really their email address. I'm going to turn down my headset so I don't blow my ears up.

That was incredible. I feel like we should actually have a better produced show now No, no, that's not our mo. That's the way we roll That's better now. I feel better. All right. How's everyone doing? It seems like we've got we got an early start on the podcast today Got a lot to get done. So we're gonna fucking roll through it. Okay, today we have our Company lunch our holiday lunch essentially and it's the one meal a year. We look each other in the eye while we're eating. And try to dress up nicely. Griffin even wore a skirt today.

Do you know what I'm supposed to try to dress up nicely? No, okay. No. I just said that because I'm- I'm setting a new standard. Okay, you're very professional, by the way. You know, I feel like a s- I feel like a s-

In the history of employing Ramses, Jeff never wore a skirt. So Griffin's got of employing Ramses Jeff never wore a skirt So Griffin's got no he wore a skirt won't he wore a dress once for a short yeah, yeah, he the superguss He wore a dress and in the alley downtown. Yeah, we had to make him do it. Take a lot of Doesn't take that much convincing at home. You know, sometimes when a guy dresses up as a woman You're a little shocked by how good they look as a woman. At least I'm a little shocked by that.

Jeff does not have that call. He looks worse as a woman than he does as a man. I like his legs, but it is weird to see like a flaming circle or something around one calf and it doesn't really work with the dress. You've got the market corner of femininity in that family. You have nothing to worry about there. What was the thing with the megastix four guys that had to dress up as women for their frag dolls kind of gay or girls thing?

And we were all kind of shocked by how good Sean looked as a woman even with a beard. He does look good. He ended up as a woman in our farewell. I thought his like mannerisms were more spot on, I guess. I think he said that he was reading actual comments, right? about his like, like, mannerisms were more spot on, I guess. I think he said that he was reading like actual comments, right? Or actual YouTube comments or something like that? Well, yeah, he's actually probably been around girls at some point too.

We know he has a girlfriend. He does. Man, I'll have to ask him what that's like. I have. I don't know how many, I don't know how many hours of case study the Rocco's put in. I'm not sure. But yeah, it's Jeff doesn't have whatever that

quality is, Jeff does not have it. He's missing that gene. I don't think I'd have it either. No. Gus. That's, I go straight for naked. Gus, you actually look at it in that wig, but I think that it would, you would look good with long hair in a masculine way, like not just dressed up like a girl. And my wife always tries to convince me to get long hair. Then once my hair gets long, she's like, I hate it. Cut it.

Well, there's a hot one. It gets cut short and she's like, I hate it. Cut it. So it gets cut short. And she's like, no, you should have grown it out. Just do whatever. Well, maybe you should just listen to your inner voice about these things. I should just skip the intermediate hair step. Or she go from short to long with no waiting.

Get extensions. Yeah, I could do that. I'll tell you something, you should never do as a guy. Is you should never use your girl voice in front of a guy? Like, you know how guys have a voice they use when they talk about their girlfriend talking to you. You should never use that in front of the girl you're dating or your wife. Never, never, ever. The same my wife and I were having conversation they know I was like hey can we just clean up the kitchen before

we leave the house and my wife is like why do we have to clean the kitchen? It's always the wife sitting right there and she starts to throw her brow like this is what he thinks of my voice. It's like everybody has that same dumb internet voice that they use. Whenever they're reading YouTube comments. Yeah, it's like a comic book guy from The Simpsons or something. Yeah, it's a combination of that. Just some guy who's like jaded and completely retarded at the same time.

Yeah. He's jaded of being smart. Nice for you guys. Awesome. You know,aded of being smart. Nice video, guys. Awesome. You know, that's a lot like my voice for JB, too. I don't know why. Well, JB's an internet person, so it could be the same. You know, Jeff, he only has, he doesn't have that many voices.

So when we first started dating, and he would, you know, do the voice about his ex-wife, you know, like I thought it was funny, but then he uses the same voice when he does something like it for me. And I get actually pretty offended by that. So I remember like, I don't know, they were very similar. Was it like the evil dead? Swallowing your soul. Swallowing your soul.

Well, I'm Jeff we're here, I'm sure he would say, well then maybe you shouldn't do things like my ex-wife and then I won't have to use that voice. Oh, and then I would divorce them. Ha ha ha. Oh, Jeff, you don't know what you're missing. So here you're getting another dog. No, I don't know. I'm just crazy right now.

I'm trying to wait until I stop being crazy. So wait a minute, you recognize you're crazy? What's going on? Well, no, I definitely have like maternal alertness right now. I feel like cuddling things. But if I wait long enough, it'll go away. Maybe you should get a hamster. No.

You can flush a hamster, right? Oh, gosh. Just saying. Well, if you can't flush a dog. Well, it's probably, I really like our chickens, but they don't really like to cuddle. You know, and our cats, I don't know, cats. They only approach you when they, they want to.

It's on their carts, yeah. Yeah. And I kind of hate our cats right now, because they're just ruining everything. They're good at that. But a dog would do the same thing. So I don't know why I think that I get another animal and it's going to improve the situation.

It always seems like a good idea on paper, you know. And then you actually get involved with it. And it's 14 years of maintenance. You know, it's got to have an issue. Yeah. But if you're having maternal urges, you're definitely working in the right company because we have such a bunch of babies that work here.

True. And I'm not going to exclude myself from that. We did a shoot yesterday where we were kind of out in the middle of nowhere for this was for immersion number seven, I believe is where it falls. And we were out there for about nine hours. And it was so goddamn windy. And I was going to make everybody else miserable with how miserable I was in the wind. I don't know what it is about windy. Must go back to my, I hate things that are invisible because I hate electricity And I hate to come and wind I hate being in like non-stop blowing wind and eventually guys I even converted you

You were starting to hate the wind. Yeah, I feel like I don't know. I feel weird after being out in the wind for that long. I feel like All the moisture was just stripped off my body by the wind Well, and there's also a bunch of dust in the air, so it was almost getting sandblasted all day. Yeah, I feel like super dry and wrinkly now. I feel like that if I get off a plane. What is about planes that suck the moisture out of your body? It's not the recycled air, I think.

Maybe it's like the lower pressure regulated humidity. What do you wonder what they regulate that at? You know, it's weird. You can have even a really short flight. But something about being on an airplane immediately makes you feel disgusting and you just have to step weird. Like, you can have even a really short flight, but something about being on an airplane immediately makes you feel disgusting as soon as you step off. Like, you have to take a shower. It's the fact you're sitting in a fucking 30-year-old seat. Yeah, and like, surrounded by people. Yeah.

You know, that's a lot of people. I'm, besides a concert, I don't know when you get that many people in that smaller space. Yeah. I mean, that's packing them in to get them on a plane. But I read an article about, it was like a list of things that pilots want passengers to know. And everyone talks about the canned air

or the recycled air that you just rebreathing everybody's air. Apparently, they have the best filtration systems on the planet, like the super heppofilters on those planes. Oh, really? Yeah, so when the air's coming out of the air conditioning unit, it's ultra purified. So you're saying that everyone in the plane is that fucking disgusting But I can still smell them after the the air has been purified

Even if the air has been purified you're still like next to them and they're breathing about you. Yeah, I don't know Well, and I think that even just that process of filtration just makes the air feel unreal in a way You know like it doesn't feel like real air. Yeah, I don't know. It's like fake air. Yeah, it's like space balls. You get the air out of the can. I read a disturbing stat when people were talking about this T-A-T-S-A backscanner thing because we were reading, I was actually believe it or not doing research when we did the Mega 64 video. And they said that, Gus, when you're in a plane for five hours, like let's say you fly L-A to New York, that is the equivalent of receiving a chest X-ray in terms of the radiation that you get from being at high in the atmosphere.

Really? Yep. Every time, every five hours you spend in the plane is equivalent of a chest X-ray. Wow. And I'm going to look that up on snopes right now before you have a chance to refute me. That's a lot. That's a lot. I found that disturbing. But then wouldn't all pilots, wouldn't they all have lung cancer or something? You know where some kind of cancer? Who were cancer?

Tumor cancer. Now that's crazy. That's a lot of radiation to get, to get from point A to point B. It is. So what you're saying is when they build teleportation devices, as long as you get, or less radiation than a chest X ray,

you're ending up net positive. Would you ever use a teleporter if they invented it? I'd wait a year too. I'd let the kids get worked out. I would never use it. If Apple made the first one, I would definitely not get in it. I'd wait until he made the second one,

then I'd get in that one. No first generation teleportation. No, I don't blame you at all. I would never use it because even after a year, here's what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid that like all the people going in the front end would just be vaporized and die, and then new people would come out the back end. It's a totally new reconstructed person. Maybe they have your memories, but it's somehow really not you. That's essentially the way it

works. Oh, that's like how they say that's how they explain it in Star Trek. Right. Is that you are disassembled, then you are, then a copy of you is reassembled using elements available at the destination. That's not you. Right. It's like a quantum state of you is frozen and then recreated. I think I think you become a lightning bug or something on this side, then, because there's no way. I mean, it's just like, how would you transport through that? And now we also be convinced that we're coming out the other end would. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to't need glasses when you wake up in the morning. It's like pod people. How come you haven't gotten lasak? I don't trust it. That's the teleportation. Are you burning on it, right? Yeah. My god. I don't know. I don't trust it. You can see. Who knows what's going to happen down the road? Listen, I'm the one person too that will tell you why I won't sugarcoat it, because I did a lot of research. I talked to a lot of people who had lasak. All they said was how awesome it was. Oh, you're going to love it. You'll see the alarm clock in the morning. You won't even need your glasses.

Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh. I said, do you have any complications? No, I could, I got up off the operating table and I could immediately see as soon as I sat up. I was like, wow, that's all great. And they all have the basically the same story. So then I got my LASIK and everything, everything like they said, I, I sat up off the operating table and I could see the clock on the wall

And that was really cool and I woke up the next morning it was great And then I noticed like at night when I get tired I would have these halos around lights like headlights or street lights I'm like you ever go swimming as a kid and you get too much chlorine in your eye and you get those rainbows around Yeah, yeah, it has no more reas kids like we must have scorched our eyes Opening your eyes underwater if I did that as a doll I would be very concerned Something's gone around my vision my eyes would be bright red and I would see rainbows around every single light But it's kind of like that or like on a headlight you see like a starburst, you know like those it's just like it's almost like a disco effect and

So after that I I Month this I thought man this is supposed to kind of go away and is not really going the way as fast as I would like it to so I Well walk up to people who told me lazy to greatest thing ever and I said I'm really concerned because I'm seeing these starbursts I'm lights and they go. Oh, yeah, I have that too Why would you tell me that before I got my eyes cut with a goddamn laser and Joel had the best response to that when I went back to him and said why don't you tell me you have these starbursts on lights at night and He Joel says to me, you know what? I kind of like it actually. It's very pretty. So that's a very appropriate Joel response. Yeah. He likes the effect. It's very cinematic.

I guess, but it has tone down, tone down over time. And I have gotten more used to it. So it's just like, it's just the way it is now. You know, some of like with glasses too, like when you first start wearing them, it almost feels like you're in an aquarium. And that doesn't, and I was trying to, I was looking through them yesterday, I was like, it hasn't gone away,

I've just gotten used to it. Like it still looks like an aquarium if I focus on it, but you just get used to seeing things a certain way. I mean, you just do think you're just getting used to it to the point where. Well, you're talking to a guy who owns a fake prescription pair of glasses because I got used to looking at the world that way and so now when I want to write or focus I'm way more comfortable throwing on a pair of like my glasses have no prescription so I just throw them on and it

just helps me focus plus you look smarter and I look smarter very dapper and it hides more of the face which I think it's a good thing with the beard in the glasses you have to see very little surface area in my actual That's always a good thing. Everyone in this office could use more of that We should institute like oh, oh, a dress code. We have to wear a bag over your head And you only your eyes are cut out and you can design it however you want. Yeah, Griffin would have the nice bag though You don't have to wear a bag. We have to wear a bag That's all to make up with Griffin. You don't have to wear a bag. You do not have to wear a bag, we have to wear a bag. Thanks. That's all to my comment.

Griffin, you don't have to wear a bag. You do not have to put a bag over your head. Just the slabs over there. You obviously weren't your two long, you actually took that nicely. It was a compliment, right? It was definitely a compliment, but it's like the lowest possible level of a compliment that somebody could get. Your phone is really destroyed.

Oh, yeah. You know, you talked about your first generation Apple Teleporter guess. I don't know I mean I dropped my iPhone 4 here and I shattered the glass and actually still works perfectly fine. You know I just discovered this weekend that if the glass on your iPhone is destroyed you can go to the Apple store to the genius bar and they'll replace the display for you there while you wait it takes less than five minutes and it costs 99 bucks Wow, you probably saved me about $600 then because they wanted to sell me a New phone for 699. Yeah, I had no idea they did this like over the weekend my wife's phone the her screen cracked and She looked it up onto the internet. I'd never heard of this

She's like, yeah, apparently we can go and I didn't believe her. I was like, yeah, you're fooling He was like, we're gonna go they're gonna laugh us. And I know that guy was like, you know, puts your upgrade status and I said, well, we really don't wanna get a new phone. Can you just replace the screen? He was, oh yeah, give me five minutes. He's like, it's gonna be 99 bucks. I was like, okay.

That was awesome. And you went to the back and came out with a new display. Now this is a second one that I've cracked. And the first one I cut the hell out of my hand when I did it. It's, I mean, you, you, you look like you put one of those you know stickers on it, right? Yeah, I was what you did now. I took to hold the glass in place. Yeah, I went to Best Buy and they sold me

this Screen protector which is normally meant to protect your screen from cracking like this Mm-hmm Or from getting chipped and I'm just using it to hold all the shards of glass in place so they can use it without slicing my thumb open Which my hands are getting destroyed from all the stuff we're doing with immersion. Yeah it's bad. Yeah gripping and I should have a hands off. I don't know what that would be exactly.

It sounds hot. It sounds so awesome. I can even more skirt. But yeah my hands are just getting chipped away slowly maturedly. You're getting destroyed via immersion huh? It's great. Immersion has become a very involved sort of thing. I've gotten a little destroyed via immersion too.

And I look forward to seeing the videos that come out for it. But you only have to invest a certain amount of time into your getting destroyed. I invest a lot more of my body though. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's true. But I was talking to Jeff about this yesterday. Because he rolled up and we explained to him what we're going to be doing. And I said, Jeff, we spent a lot of time constructing these elaborate

Courses for you to run essentially and all these games to play Just for you just come out and have a good time. He's like yeah, it's really cool I'm glad you realized that this late in the series Because I don't have to do anything but show up and like people have made like these awesome things That I've always wanted to do and now I get to do it. Yeah, it was awesome yesterday I showed up like a noon you all had all the shit built. I was like, great. You all have been out there since like the sun came up. I just showed up and I was like, all right. Have fun. See you guys.

You did great, though. I don't want to spoil anything. I hope we won't tie the number of the episode, but Gus did really well yesterday. Yes, Jeff was really nervous, leading up. He didn't want to admit it to anyone, but he. I could tell it's the kid asking me. It's because I went first. He's like, how was it? We nervous. How did it go? He didn't want to embarrass himself. No, he did great.

I asked him if he was nervous and he said, absolutely not. That is also great that does not exist in the Ramsey House. Their ability to mask their emotions doesn't exist. Like nobody says like, we had a problem with a slight mechanical problem that delayed us maybe three or four minutes at the most and it was just something your griffin had worked on and dear blaming me no one said i'm really downplaying this because when you were like

down there like fixing this thing and then you got up and turned back to get a tool no one had to ask he is griffin upset because you could clearly see from like fifty yards away that griffin was not happy that her thing was delaying even in two minutes. So everyone was slowly back in a way. What I was saying is that your thing did not delay us at all. And I know, do you remember, yes, I do,

you think it was like a big problem? Well, no, I mean, yeah, it was kind of irritating because especially when you think about materials and like how much money you spend on things. I mean, not like it was expensive, but I have a hard time forgetting that kind of thing because I do theater so any little thing that goes wrong just irritates me because I feel like I've invested the time in figuring this out like it shouldn't backfire you know on the day of right so it just bugs me I just hate encountering problems that late but you know you deal with it and that's the part of the fun of being on shoots

it's just like figuring out how to get things done on time. Yeah, and that's the thing about any kind of production or filmmaking is like, like, take a film. I was just described the process of making a feature film is you basically take two years of your life and you have to get 90 minutes of it right. You know, and if you think about it in terms of that, there should be a lot more great films out there because it's like you have 300 people working for two years, we just have to get 90 minutes of it just right.

Right, right. And that's the thing about production is we're at three yesterday for eight hours. We've probably had to get two minutes, you know, if we get two minutes correct in front of the camera, then we're golden. It is the challenging thing is just coordinating all the people and the whatever objects props

and everything like getting it all coordinating at the same time, getting everyone to do what they're like getting an all coordinating at the same time. Getting everyone like to do what they're supposed to do on camera at the same time. I don't know. Especially in this office. It's not just no, but in general like. Especially. It's a lot of coordination, but it's fun. Yeah. It's just when you have a guy in the corner going, you're bothered by this wing right? I'm not there. You know the wind drives people crazy in Montana.

That's where they leave. Ied Gus with tons of stuff. Okay, the wind yeah the wind sucks It's great people in Montana go crazy because of the wind my wife read that in some kind of historical romance novel So it must be true and then it was grilling Gus about what's the purpose of wind and then my big question you guys I think was where does wind start like where does wind begin if you follow the wind back there's a daddy wind and a mom wind and when they like each other a lot they decide to make more wind they make it a little breeze and that breeze grows up to drive you crazy it does it grows up heads of Texas and messes up my fucking hair it's not that it's just a constant pressure of like just it's just like I have that clipboard with the fucking papers

They're flying everywhere just drives me crazy, but it's like traffic is what I was saying is like you ever get to the end of like a Four-mile traffic jam and then the car just start going and you're like and there's no reason and you have that satisfaction That's the fucking worst What was it or even? Or even worse The one I fucking lose it at is you know when I'm sitting in traffic It sucks it sucks then you get to the cause of the traffic It's just like some dude who's pulled over to the shoulder. That's it

It's like some dude on the cell phone and the on the shoulder Everyone's like rubber neck. You know look like what's that guy doing? It's like I lost fucking 30 minutes of my life because everyone want to see what that guy was doing bullshit Or even worse when you get to the end of your traffic jam And it's because there's something on the other side of the phone. Oh, yeah, that's true like there's an accident over there. It's like there's nothing over here Just drive your goddamn car. Mm-hmm. I once was in a traffic jam in Houston. I was on I think it was on I10 and Like we were at the dead stands deal. I was probably you know stopped by car did not move for like 45 minutes And people were getting out of their car and just like you know standing and waiting

But eventually the police show up and they're like, okay, and they start waving it every day. They go, everyone put your car in reverse. And they started waving us all back. Everyone had to drive in reverse down I-10 to the previous exit and get off the freeway. Because I guess a fuel truck had overturned and spilled gas all over the interstate.

So they're having to clean it up. So they meet everyone go backwards. Wow. That's crazy. One dude, uh, split his car around and drove in the wrong direction to, uh, instead of going in reverse, because it's probably the only time you'd ever be able to do that. Yeah, that's I would do that too. I saw a video online that you see the video of the people in the cab in China. Oh, yeah, and they, I guess the people in the cab are giving the cab driver directions and they know if I'm getting the back story right here, but He missed a turn on the freeway So he just turned around and started driving against traffic on the freeway

And apparently that's a that's a normal thing to do there And the crazy thing about it is the woman in the back seat who's taping sounds totally she's she's she finds it rude Whereas I would find it horrifying that we're about to die and head on crash on the freeway at any second here and she's like I can't believe this guy why is he doing this huh and then like you get caught like missed them by like four inches you could do that in Puerto Rico too oh really if the traffic was real bad in your side you could like hop over to the other side of the highway and like drive down and try to cut over again you can make it like little burst at a time apparently you could do that in Miami too because I was in Miami once and we were in the

right lane and the guy in front of it stopped on the freeway on the right lane. There's nothing in front of him. He just stopped and car stop behind us and you're looking to get hit, you know, and all that. And then his reverse lights go on. And it's like, well, I was driving my brother was driving. He's like, my brother's like, what are you doing? You're going in reverse and the guys like trying to communicate with my brother pointing that he missed his exit

And he's trying to reverse to get back to it on the freeway That's crazy. You know, I am this is I'm kind of embarrassed by this phone until it Last week or at this week. God this week kind of long right earlier this week Tony, this is only Wednesday. Can you believe that? No, I think it was Monday. I was um Oh, you know, it might have been over the weekend because I worked at the office this weekend, but on the way back. We're out about it. Saturday when I was here working. You know, when you guys were home and I was here working on Saturday. I know, Bernie was here too. Okay.

We're out. I was driving back home on I-35. And at some point we came up to where the traffic kind of builds up over by Riverside. And I saw the cars coming, so I kind of hit my brakes, but I didn't like slam on them, but it was one of the things that, okay, I got to slow down pretty quickly. So I hit my brakes fairly hard, but this one guy behind me, it was like a suburban, couldn't stop fast enough. And he like was fish-tailing and then like slammed into the barrier or whatever, like right behind me. Like cement barrier? Yeah Yeah and it just caught me by surprise and I was like wow that

I almost got really hurt here because he was like right behind me. But I didn't I didn't stop immediately and I was like shit I should probably stop and see if he's okay but at that point I'd run too far and so I had I just kept driving because I got too far to where it was unsafe for me to like walk back. Yeah. And I couldn't loop around because the traffic was so bad, there's no way I could have gotten even gotten to them. I just feel really guilty about it. So you're admitting to a felony on the podcast here? It's what I'm hearing.

Is it a felony? No. I don't think, no, because I was just sort of in shock for a second. I'm like, oh, but now I would be creating more of a problem by stopping. Yeah. And at this point, people had already collected, but it was just so weird. I mean, I, it's weird. I just didn't, I kind of lost my brain for a second. Like, what, what you should do in that kind of situation. Right. You're probably, yeah, like I said, you're just so weird. I mean, it's weird. I just kind of lost my brain for a second,

like what, what you should do in that kind of situation. You're probably, yeah, like I said, you're just a shock. Because I wasn't in an accident, but I feel like I was, I mean, somewhat responsible because he was behind me. That said, he shouldn't have been following something like, especially in that large of a vehicle. Failure to maintain a safe distance.

Yeah, I don't know. It was weird. Yeah, failure to control your vehicle as well. I knew a guy who was hauling bales of hay and one of them flipped out of the top of his truck and landed in the freeway. And then some dude in the Porsche came along about two minutes later and hit one of the bales of hay.

Was that Ken and ball run? No, was it? Sounds like something good to see Ken and ball run. And anyway, the guy in the Porsche was screaming and yelling about this country hick. You know, going to bail a hay in the middle of the road. And then see the shit out the porch was screaming and yelling about this country hick you know Don't have a la hand in the middle of the road. I'm gonna see this shit out of and all the stuff and some cop came some state Texas state trooper came was like filling up hip-work in the guy in the porch is yelling at everybody yelling at the cop One of the cop goes

Tares not often gives him the guy a ticket the guy in the porch a ticket for failure to control his vehicle I think it's what the control is fucking mouth is what he got a ticket for It's like you should it you should have been in control of your vehicle. That's something that's tough though. It's like you get pulled over or you get into a wreck and then everyone expects you to be polite, you know, like they catch you at the worst time and then it's like if you if you mouth off then things get so much worse. You got to be careful. You got to very quickly go on the offensive without offending anyway. You got to be on the offensive to make sure people

understand it wasn't your fault. Right. And then you can't step on their toes to where they're gonna give you the ticket. Yeah. That's a situation where you did not cause the accident. Traffic stopped. The guy hit something. He didn't hit you. I don't know.

You don't necessarily have to stop in that situation. No, I figured I didn't need to stop because I wasn't in an accident. But is that just something that a bad person? Because I didn't. I don't know. I feel pretty shitty for like a couple hours afterward. Well, you know Fuck it if it was my wife

I would have said you did the right thing because you also like you said you don't want to get out of the car with people Then suddenly you're involving yourself in accent. You're really not involved with right? Right. Well, and I also just didn't want to be put yourself in danger Yeah, that was not even just putting myself in danger, but like adding more obstructions in traffic That's true. I don't know, but I probably... That's another fun thing about traffic is when you get to the end of a formal traffic jam and it's two people who have like the tiniest little dent

on their car. And they just haven't pulled over to the side because they're waiting for the cop because... I don't understand that. You do not have to maintain your car and they didn't have to be in the position where they wrecked. You can move them off of the road way if it's safe. I think a lot of people will feel and I can understand that if you move the cars, especially if you're not at fault,

that's only people just are making up stuff that happened. Whereas if you the cars are there, like I guess they think the cops are going to come up like CSI, I'm like, oh, I can see the length of the tire, you know, but everyone has an iPhone to take a couple pictures and move the car very quickly. Yeah. I can't even remember. I wrecked, I got an arrekin Jeff's car, which also wasn't my fault. Same kind of thing where traffic just stopped and there was a six car pile up. very quickly. I got an A-Rect in Jeff's car, which also was my fault. Same kind of thing.

Traffic just stopped. And there was a six car pile-up. We talked about it before. And I just happened to be the first car in the chain. And I just took a bunch of pictures and I actually was sending them to Jeff to let him know that his car wasn't that badly hurt. And he thought he was on the... Yeah, he was showing it on me.

He's like, do you think he got Matt to Photoshop the easy? Let me tell you something. First of all, I know how to use Photoshop. Why is he assuming I'm going to he got Matt to Photoshop the reason? Let me tell you something first of all. I know how to use Photoshop. Why is he assuming I'm going to go to Matt to Photoshop a dent on a bumper? I can do that. I don't think that you're allowed to be offended in the situation. I think I am.

We already worked it out. It's everything's even there. Although I've been trying to help Jeff with the bumper and he just hasn't done anything with it. No, there hasn't been any time. I don't know. I know. No, there hasn't been any time, like, I don't know. I know, yeah, that's true. I know.

I think I'm pretty sure I might have a warrant out for my arrest right now. And I'm not, I'm trying to clear it up. I'm OK. Let me guess, traffic ticket? Well, I bought a new truck. And I got a ticket for, I can't really see if this is not fair. It's always not fair when I get a ticket.

And this one's really not fair. We were in a school zone. There's a lot of school zones around our new office. And we went out to get something, Griffin, you were with me. What were we getting that day? Something. Something from probably some shelving or something like that. Anyway, we were in a school zone, and it was a particularly long school zone. And at the end of the school zone, the cops, the motorcycle cops had set up a kind of a what do they call that speed trap right actually the school zone Texas by the way is what 20 miles an hour yes, which is I can walk faster fucking slow. Yeah, anyway, but it is school zone You had to be careful, but we were we were in the middle of this big long school zone, which was a normal big thoroughfare It just happens to be near a high school right and

While we were going along 20 miles an hour a high school right and while we were going along 20 miles an hour in the schools and I was just going with traffic. An ambulance passed us so we had to pull over and wait the ambulance passed us then a fire truck passed us as well and then we wait a second and then all pull off you know get back into the road and start following the ambulance and the fire truck. And then the cops grabbed three of us because we went over the speed limit by the end of the school zone. So it was literally like 200 feet.

And it was like, I got, you know, there's not schools, those are not every five feet. You forget when the ambulance passed you that we were in the school zone. And we were leaving the school zone and that's when they hit us. And I didn't have my insurance and my new truck because I kept my old truck.

I didn't turn it in when I got my new truck. So I got to take it for not maintaining the proof of insurance. Well, literally like the first day I had my new truck. What's the cop was like I kept asking you about your truck and what you thought of it. And then you started asking you about your phone and almost seemed like you pulled you over just so he can like see what you thought about your pickup. See what I thought about my new truck. Exactly. That's a problem with like, he doesn't believe in Texas. He doesn't believe in reading motor train. He's gonna get the boards straight from your mouth And tried to do for the privilege. Yeah, yeah, so

Griffin's right when he pulled us over He just wanted to keep talking about the truck and he was like, yeah, this is I've been thinking about getting a truck like this How do you like it? I said it's great. He goes so everything on school. You're happy with everything I said yeah, I think the speedometer might be a little off and not really And he kind of chuckled that and goes like, that's funny. Take it. Not funny enough. Yeah. Here's your ticket, Jerry Seinfeld. Actually, I actually have a pretty good track record to

drive my wife crazy of getting pulled over by cops and not getting a ticket. Really? Because I swear you have a ton of home. I think the city is setting up a frequent ticket or program. That's just for you. You get a lot of parking

tickets. I get a ton of parking tickets. I get a ton of parking tickets. But I don't get a lot of like moving violations. In fact, I think that city setting up a frequent ticker program. That's just for you. You get a lot of parking tickets. I get a ton of parking tickets. I get a ton of parking tickets. But I don't get a lot of like moving violations. In fact, I think that might be my first moving violation like five years. And listen, I should get a ticket. I was speeding in a school zone.

I should definitely get that ticket. It's, I'm not saying it wasn't my fault or anything like that, even though I just told the story when she wasn't my fault. But anyway, so it's been a while since I had the ticket and I was gonna mail it in, now I can't find the ticket and so I think there might be a warrant out for my arrest. So we have two felons here in the podcast today. What?

Failure's stopping render aid and you failure to pay your ticket. What are they hunted you down? Like they actually, the guy said, there's a, the nice thing about you leaving the scene of that accident, that somebody else had, you didn't leave the scene of your own accident, that the then the guy now has this great out of like you caused the accident I'm sure of like all this crazy person in front of me did all this stuff accelerating and breaking real fast and accelerating and breaking chip at the car

reverse and start going away and then you just took off you were in an accident right where somebody took off on you yeah yeah I it's funny because it was a similar situation where there was, you know, everyone slammed under breaks and of course I stopped with plenty of time but the car behind me didn't and I was in a big truck and she was in like a small like a compact car. And the car, you know, rear ends me and I get out and look at this truck I used to have, you know, out when I grew up on the border. You know, it was a very rural ranch truck has a huge, you know, metal bumper and I get out and I look at my truck and not a scratch on it. And I look at this girl's car and like the fenders falling off. You know, it got really fucked up and she was like

some high school girl and she's in the car with two of her friends and they get out and she's like, oh my god, look at my car. And one of the girls tells the driver, you know, my mom said if I was ever in an accident to just leave. She just go home. I was like, oh, this fucking bitch. So I went back to my truck and I got a pen and paper and I wrote down the license plate in the description of the car. And as I'm doing that, they all fucking get back into the car and take off.

That's funny. And then the cop shows up, the cops show up to talk to everyone. And they're like, you know, were you in the accident? And I was like, yeah, I got hit. It was like, but the car that hit me took off. And he looks at my truck and goes, I don't see any damage. He goes, yeah, it's fine. He goes, well, here, you can fill out this was like, but the car that hit me took off. And he looks at my truck and he goes, I don't see any damage. He goes, yeah, it's fine. He goes, well, here, you can fill out this paperwork.

If you want to file charges, you can. But totally up to you. I never did anything because nothing happened to my truck. I was sure she probably got in plenty of trouble. It was fucking funny. She fucking said it in your shot of me. I was like, really? I like this mother who just gives out bad advice.

If you're ever in an accident, just leave. If you ever finish the milk that he just leave if you ever finish the milk just put the empty cart in the fridge that's where it goes somebody else will throw it away somebody else's problem if you miss your exit just put it in reverse back up until you get to it so did anyone else watch the VGA Awards which of course stands for the video game awards awards no I didn't I watched some of the trailers from it. That's it, though. Yeah. How about you, Griffin? No. I didn't. I heard you complaining about

something. And then a illusion that Griffin tuned into the VGA awards on spike. I feel like by watching the trailers the next day on the internet, I distilled the best 10 minutes of that show into a viewing experience on my computer. You would not be incorrect in that judgment. The VGA's tend to be basically a two hour long commercial for the video game industry, who are apt around an award show, because I've never seen another award show

where they announce products. Like at the Grammys, they don't announce new albums. Like, oh, I'm just gonna let everybody know if, you know. The Oscars don't have film premiere, or like trailer-fuel airs trailer players or you stop and watch it but uh the big winners uh the big winner was red dead redemption and I would say probably mass effect too as well they both did very well. Is that a segue into talking about drunk tank awards or should we delay that till next week? No I just I think it's the VGA do you consider the VGA's to be relevant?

No. Oh really? No. So do you think there is an award that is relevant for video games? The drunk tank awards. There we go. That was nice. That was a good segue. No, but really, what do you think is the industry standard like? I don't know that there really is. I was going to trust anyone.

I'd be like, game spot maybe. Oh, really? I would say probably something of the GDC. Oh, that's good. Do they do any kind of awards there? I don't know. We can do in this video game thing for a while. We have never been the GDC. Do they do any kind of words there? I don't know. We do in this video game thing for a while, we have never been to GDC. Nope, we're not really that kind of video game company.

Yeah, it's really, we're like, we straddle two industries, the video game industry and the, basically the film production industry. And so we don't really get that heavily involved with either one on that level. Like we're just friends with both. We just know there know some people.

But like a game developer conference, I have no idea what we would do there. Like if they had a big symposium on DirectX, the new DirectX, I would be like, I'm gay. Okay. Can you make head bobbing a new feature in the new DirectX? So where are the games to play? What about lip sync? That'd be cool.

But the VGA's are just They were kind of dismal and people watching them were tweeting and like talking about how bored they were and how the production is bad The production actually the VGA's was perfectly fine. Okay, the problem is and I don't mean any offense by this But game developers they've got to learn how to be a better audience Because if you're sitting there with basically your arms crossed and not enjoying anything, that affects how everyone else watching that thing brings it as well. Right.

You know, and I think that people who are attending the Grammys and people who are attending the Oscars, they understand that. That yeah, when the presenters get up and they make the shitty jokes, just go ahead and laugh. You know what I mean? Just the cameras have to pan for reaction in the audience. Yeah, I'm gonna have some close-ups. And when it panes, you do the, haha, laugh, or whatever, you know.

I think the problem is that those, those, like, movie film awards are full of actors and performers. Film and music, like they always perform performing. They know it's expected of them. Right, that's the thing. I guess the closest we have to that, I mean, we have voice actors, but they don't go to the VGA's, really. I mean, Nathan Philly and was there, and Philly should day was there because she's in fallout. Like, those people, and like Neil Patrick Harris was the host of this, but it's, you know,

there was, for instance, there was a segment where Neil Patrick Harris was doing this bit with Olivia Munn. And if you have, for the VGA's, if you have Olivia Munn and Neil Patrick Harris on stage you're not going to get better than that you know what I mean that's like yeah these are the people that like the highest level celebrities basically the video game industry Neal Patrick Harris kind of debatable but he's in that kind of culture you know what

left they're gonna tell dumb jokes and they're gonna like fake hit on each other now we all know Neal Patrick Harris is gay you know but just just roll with it have a good time be be prepared to be entertained because other people are watching this. They announced Elijah Dushku, who I think was coming out to then and turn announce a trailer for something else. I don't know what she was right at the end of the show. When she came on stage, you could you could hear a pin drop. I mean, they didn't even applaud when the announcers came out to talk about stuff. Wow. It was crazy, dude. Maybe I'll record like audio of it for you, but it was like you know some cheesy intro is like ladies and gentlemen Elijah Duce-Ku launching in three two one this curtain comes up and

Elijah Duce-Ku who's hot as hell walked out and say it was like I mean you watched your walk across the stage you can almost hear her heels clicking you know. God damn well somebody throw this take a bone for grand allowed. Give me a break. So I would say the problem with the VGA's was the audience and not the production in any way. They even had this cool thing where they were doing, and it's spike, don't get me wrong,

it's spike sucks, you know? And it's cheesy and all that, but it's an award show for Chrisake. But they did this thing where they did this virtual reality set where they would augment reality. So what they call AR? AR reality? Yeah, which of course the people in the audience couldn't see. And the people at home could see, you know.

Hopefully that monitor set up. Hopefully they did. Hopefully they did. But uh, and it didn't really, you need to see it to understand that you clap for people when they come up to. Well, I do an award potential. I just watched the video without sound of Elijah Dishku coming out at that award ceremony.

And you write the camera like pans across the audience and everyone just sitting there with like sitting on their hands staring up domely at the stage. I was pretty amazed by what what do you think that is? Do you think like because they're all competitors in the room yet they just don't they're they all want to be cool. Social awkwardness. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. You know that's it's funny and you don't really think about it but an audience is a really important part of a lot of like shows and it it's almost like you forget of not being an element that the people watching it or that are part of it. Well, there's a reason that those awards ceremony that they have like seat fillers, you know,

when someone gets up to leave, you know, you have someone on hand to fill that seat and clap and laugh and, you know, participate. Maybe they need to just manage the crowd better and have do that, you know. You're like a warm up back. You need to cut the fucking developers out of this VGA so I'm getting here. Get some higher quality people for the audience. Here we go now we're now we're offending people. But just if you go to the VGA in the future just just have a good time. Just start just start just drink. Just drink. I'm in the drinks. I'm the drinks. You know have a party. Yeah like at a comedy club they have the like four drink minimum or something like that. Yeah.

Yeah. I should do that. I think I've only ever been our comedy club once. They should have like on the red carpet. They should have a vodka hose and they hose you down or you come in like you're coming into prison, they're delousing you. Or they give everyone one of those hats with like the two beers on the top and the straws that come down. That would be awesome. You sit there like, woo, give you a foam finger. You should. Video games. Yeah, number one. You should produce like, woo! Give you a foam finger. You should- Video games, yeah! Number one. You should produce a VJ.

I would watch your production of it. Really awesome. So you had no interest in watching it at all? No, no. Well, Red Dead Redemption won Game of the Year. That's disappointing. And I thought, why really? Because you didn't like Red Dead?

I hate it that- Well, that's not your kind of game, that's not my kind of game. I-I-I just don't get it. I just don't get it But that does remind me you know, we should add if we don't have it We should have a DLC category the drunk tank awards this year. We that's a good point We should we I think we should standardize those categories to figure out what we give awards for this was an awesome year for DLC It was all the stuff from Mass Effect 2 The red dead redemption had one of the biggest ones and then the Borderlands one that I just got through playing.

There's a General Knox. That was this year? Yeah, that was this year. That was incredible, man. That was, it's like a whole other game, Adedon. It's what episodic gaming said it was going to be. Is what DLC is now. Yeah, of course.

Yep. So you guys are doing the don't take awards next week? I guess we can push them next week. You want to do nominations? Or we do Jeff here to do it. Well, Jeff would be kind of sad if he missed out. We normally announce the winners the last week of the year, so we got two weeks. So announce the winners December 29th.

So we can either announce nominations this week or next week. Why don't we talk about our categories? They'll have. Let me get a pen so we can standardize them. OK. I think last year we did, which is a very hard one to do, we did best online video. And that doesn't mean like stuff that we do like red, verse blue or immersion or arti

shorts. It means like just the one video that everybody watched that we all loved. And the last year the drug guy. Well, world's drunkest guy won. Did you ever find him to give him a trophy? No, I didn't. I kept the trophy. It was an excuse just to make a trophy.

I couldn't give. So I could get one. Online video, there were a lot of great ones this year too So best online video. What's another category? Yes, we also had a best movie Did we have best trailer we had best trailer? Well, do we have it was it it was best video game trailer? I think we had best trailer and it was open to video games and or movies Oh, I think we basically made that category in order to give the old Republic trailer. Yeah, essentially. Yeah.

Uh, we had best TV show. Best TV show? What was last year lost? Yep. Uh, what was last year's best movie? Star Trek. Oh, nice. We had controversy.

Cause you fuckers haven't seen Avatar yet. It was late in the year and you guys haven't seen it yet. You would not in hindsight give Avatar the best movie the year That's tough you jaded prick. What is wrong with you? It's tough. I don't know. I think that maybe I don't know it seems I got I got to stand by my boat You got a strong I cannot I cannot to try not before the end of the year. We cannot not see that I'm planning on it But even all the good reviews I see for Tron or bad. It's true. It's true Well, then go see true grit if you want to like true grit. I really got to see that yeah Okay, another category. So we have online video best movie best trailer best TV show

Is that all we had? I'm gonna say there's something else that we had we didn't do anything music right no We're not musical no, we're not we didn't do anything with DLC. We should definitely add DLC this year and To do something related to the web We have online video. Yeah, but I'm saying like like website related I don't want to get more to Twitter or something like that. That's stupid. How long has Twitter been around yet? Tumblr Six years. Fuck really five years. I've been to Tumblr a couple times. I don't I don't understand it I look at it and I don't know what I'm looking at.

You know what, I think the same thing and you know what that makes me realize? I'm getting old. I see something like, I don't get it. Uh oh, I got to get this out. It's popular people like it. I need to figure out what's going on with this thing. I will tell you that what I don't like about Tumblr

is that people don't comment on stuff. They just push about and say they like it. And then you have a list of people who just like it. I don't like that. I like people leaving a comment and saying something even if it's a dumb idiotic comment like is that a mole or a nipple I think that was the most common comment on our immersion number three but I just want people to say something now just push a button to indicate approval.

I wish we could see how many people watch immersion three in full screen versus in a little window. I was really funny I was looking people watch immersion 3 and full screen versus in a little window. I was really funny. I was looking through some comments last night. And people, they team up and they're like, no, no, no, it's at this like marker here, like check here. Like you can almost see something here. It's our trying to help you out. Like they tell you what frame to check for. It's funny. It's pretty funny. So I think those are those are five categories. Are there any we want to get rid of or you're happy with those? Griffin, do you think there's anything that's missing like when you listen to the drunk tank awards last year? Were you like, oh, I wish they really would have covered that. No, I mean, I like music, but I also don't know much about it So I can't I wouldn't be able to head that up and I know no one here would Should we do music and just say girl talk that sure

We'll have one now and it's the only thing that we're listening to in the office Yeah, don't know we can agree on well, I know it's a we everybody hates each other's music right? Everyone hates each other's music. I mean, I just had my iPod just running on random one time And we were out in a set and Griffin and Gus you guys just destroyed me all day about the songs that would play off my iPod It was when we were out shooting the immersion that comes out today Oh right, the set. Yeah, yeah, yeah the immersion that comes out today. Oh right. Yeah.

Yeah. The one we teased last week. It's the one the Mario thing to listen to. Yeah. So the, yeah, they were, they were pretty fucking brutal. No, I, I like the kind of music you listen to. I just think it's funny that you listen to it. Like what?

I don't know. You just listen to like girly. I don't know. We bond over like listening to fun if you own Apple. Like, Apple's not all that girly. I don't think. I, you know, I'm not listening to fun if you own Apple like You know the Apple's not all that girly. I don't think you know, I'm not listening to The whole what you listen to your like your cool is that you're listening to to Cheryl Crowey like what's wrong with Cheryl Crowey?

Crow what is wrong to show Crow You get a Hank Williams song and then you get Cheryl Crowey what's wrong? She'll crew yeah, it's not like Sarah McLaughlin or anything like that. That's the line the Sarah Glycer line It is I should probably have some on my iPod. Let me see if I'm gonna see right now if I have that. Trying to get a glass liver in your finger. No, no, no, man. I got my, I'm protected. I'm so, I, I, I can't even, I was just gonna work on the comics today.

I could not get to my workbench like my desk area. Holy cow. Look who just joined us. Hey, what's up guys? Hey. It was really shitty up until right now was it yeah? All the leads of Jeff fans just went oh Jeff made it still rated it you know, so Jeff. Here's everything we've covered so far. Okay Griffin's a felon oh no what happened? No, I'm not a felon. What'd you steal? I didn't steal anything and then the VGA's we talked a little about the VGA's which you did not see either no I didn't did not see but I was results

I guess I should say that the uncharted three and the Mass Effect three trailers looked awesome from the VGA's awesome is an understatement other than fantastic I'm getting the point now when I see trailers for sequels They just the the graphics are getting so high like you watch trailers to see for graphics my opinion That the graphics hours, the level words, like, I don't know how much higher they could get until people are walking around as a hologram and you're living room. But I just, it just looks to me like when I see sequels,

I just feel like they're just other games, you know what I mean? I don't get, I don't get all that excited about trailers. I never really have those. I didn't, you didn't like that. Mass Effect 3 trailer? I thought it was, I thought it was okay, but I was like, I would have imagined that's what it would have been like.

Yeah, plus Mass Effect 3, you know, that's probably a pre-rendered cinematic versus the Uncharted 3, which was totally, you know, in-game in engine. You know what I'm getting out of this? Somewhere inside, you're a little bit dead. No, I like, I love Mass Effect. I've played more Mass Effect than you have for Christ's sake, but I'm just okay. Let's see it. You know? So yeah, you guys get more excited than you can actually see the game, the game. I do. I feel like I can actually see the game. The game. I do. I feel like it's a game played. I'd be even better.

Maybe it's this. I never get excited for a trailer where the trailer is announced as a date that's more than three months away. Oh, something's a year and a half away. I'm like, I don't know shit. I can see that. I got no time to sit around and anticipate things that are a year and a half away. I might not even be alive when that thing comes out.

That's a really good point, actually. Do you think about that? What? I might not even be alive when that thing comes out. That's a really good point actually. Do you think about that? What? Would I not be alive? You might not be alive. No, but I'm not. I'm not where you are in the area. Yeah, I know, but I've got some live and left to do. Yeah, but you live a different life than I do too.

You know, the the other day I watched the Jimmy Fallon show just because they teased that they were going to have the debut of Uncharted 3 gameplay on his late night talk show. And sure enough, I guess they had like two developers from Naughty Dog come out and they you know had the debut of Gameplay for Uncharted 3. I read the other day that that Jimmy Fallon, they, I've never seen a show. It seems like a nice guy. But they are already grooming him to replace Leno. And talking about it, like in B.C. and executives are already saying that he's going to be the

next Leno. Like, how do you learn your fucking mistakes? Just let Leno be Leno for a while. And before you start talking about his replacement, then go through the whole nonsense all over again. I don't want to get too far into this, but weren't they talking about axing him also at the Leno? No, they were talking about axing Falun at the who lino no oh they were talking about action phalan at the time and now they're finding grooming and now they're they're saying he's lino's replacement lino has been back for six months and already talking about his replacement again god damn it's a brutal industry yeah scary business you're scared business so I meant that in a

nice way okay yeah it's a compliment so right before you walked in Jeff we were trying to standardize on the categories for the Drunk Tank Awards. Okie dokie. So I'm going to go, I'm going to list you what I have here. Okie dokie. Best online video. Sure. Best movie.

Sure. Best trailer. Hey, can I say a question about first? The best online video, what does that mean? Like the drunk guy from last year. Ok, so best online video. Uh-huh. Random one off video.

Alright, best movie. Yes. Best trailer. Yes. Best TV show. Yes. And we added the best DLC category. I think best DLC is great Should we do some of the music? That a bad idea. That's a bad idea. Yeah, so that's pretty much what we call that the girl talk award

What I said Let's see I don't think that's missing anything. Do you want to have like? Like do you want to separate the gaming out into we've got DLC do you want to add like that's mobile game or anything like that uh you know we should do I don't want to add too many categories I understand we're saying you don't want to overcomplicate you know we should do we should do best R.T. staff member and make people make people compete for the award that's like a terrible I know we give them the trophy you were choice who would you who would you give it to

you this year in the whole company that give to me You were choice. Who would you give it to this year? In the whole company. That would give it to me. I give it to Jeff. I'd give it to me. Oh, you guys. I think it's Jeff Wins. Griffin, you know the deciding vote. Well, Griffin had a good year too.

She did have a good year. She always did and props she built. Yeah. Yeah. I would give it to Jeff because we have to look together. And he's taking me to New Orleans. It's true. Not unanimous though. Under protest. The fuck is it anybody giving it to me? Now let's taking me to New Orleans. It's true. Not unanimous though

Under protest. The fuck isn't anybody giving it to me now. Let's stop for a second here. I Like this. I like this category. I like you. I mean you can't paint for this. What the fuck wouldn't you give it to me? What have you done to deserve it this year shut? I'm not telling you you tell me why I don't deserve it No, no, no, you have to prove you're like a proof of the stuff to the committee. See this is why this is a bad idea If I'm looking at innovation in the company. I gotta go with me Sun's a bitch's new properties guy. I don't know. I want to make a case for Nathan I think Nathan is the one cool person left in this company because he never talks. I agree with that So he hasn't like proven that he's there is nothing cooler than silence, like a stoic silence. Yeah.

Because you get like, that guy's got to be thinking of something really awesome right now. That's true. It's very true. That's true. If all those fails just stay quiet. I always assume that Nathan is smarter and funnier and better than me in every way, because he's just got that hat on. He's just saying they're judging him.

Every once in a while you see him in the kitchen and you just give, he'll give you a nod like that. Like, you're like, so. Alright, that on sign number two over there however though it's there is there are different kinds of silence like some people can stay silent and they just seem awkward you know yeah yeah yeah basically when you're a party and somebody's not saying anything you're like you know you're like wow that seems really out of place you know I think he's mysterious maybe you think that Griffin what why are you yeah you're the girl, I'm I like outgoing people do you but I like Nathan I mean he's I know I know what you're saying. He doesn't seem awkward. He's just quiet. Yeah, there's you can get a quiet comfort

Fuck it. I'm changing into Nathan I've no idea when Nathan did this entire year, but it must have been awesome You read that fucking arti shorts season 2 DVD. There you go. That's true. Great DVD. It was fantastic. Yeah, Nathan does most of our DVDs. You know compiles them and makes all the awesome and news and all the content on there. Very, very cool. I actually love Nathan's interview on the RT shorts season 2 DVD. Oh, that was hilarious. It's very, very funny. I don't know whose idea that was but that was brilliant. Oh Nathan's idea. Obviously Somebody else's idea, but he planted it secretly

That's how he works. He's like the emperor. He's like a emperor palpatine Like I'm manipulating everyone. It's a holiday lunch right after this We didn't even talk about where we're gonna go. Guess what? I can eat food at the holiday lunch I'm excited. Yeah, all that's rough I'm gonna get Yeah, all bets are off. I'm gonna get butt-raped by a camera on a dinner. Or are you getting a camera up the back? I'm gonna get a colonoscopy.

Win? January 6th. Say the date. Is that a win today? Is that a win today? It's a Thursday. Oh, damn it. Well, I think we have a new candidate for best online video of the year.

Tell me how. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna film it. An early entry for 2011. It's gonna be awesome. I'm really looking forward to it. So we might push our podcast instead of the fifth of January to the year. Oh, they are going to film it. An early entry for 2011. It's going to be awesome. I'm really looking forward to it. So we might push our podcast instead of the fifth or January to the sixth, we're going to have a live podcast. You're going to do a colonoscopy.

That would be the funniest thing. The doctor was like, we're going to, it gets a lot of people have problems, you know, that sounds like a terrible thing, but we're going to give you plenty of anesthesia and we're going to knock you out and you're going to be drugged up the rest of the day. And I was like, I'll take three. It sounds awesome. I'm going to get drugged up and have some you stuck up my butt like prom all over again It's like that is the only conversation you can ever have in context where they tell you we're gonna knock you out before we put stuff up your butt

You're like thank you. Yeah Thank you very much. Oh Thank you very much. Oh, man. They also gave me an argument. You're gonna do anything special for them You're gonna get a wax or Like to be ready for the thing I'm gonna get gruffin to write be gentle on my butt That's that's actually a funny point. Do you guys when you guys have to go to the doctor and have those kinds of visits Do you like trim up and like groom yourself because girls totally do like if we're gonna go and get like a pap smear Whatever would definitely like

Yeah, no, I mean you don't want to, yeah, I don't know, you're already feeling vulnerable, you don't all feel gay. I don't give a fuck, I am not the worst thing that doctors have ever seen. I'll tell you that right now, I don't give a fuck. That's how I feel. If I'm taking the shower, they're lucky. She's not like, I should teach you for you to the dentist, right? Like everyone will brush their teeth before they get the dentist.

They make you do the mouthwash anyway. Yeah. So you don't, is that what you're saying? You're disgusting. I brush my teeth because I'm awake. Yeah, I know. I don't get to skip a day. No, so you don't is that what you're saying? You're disgusting. I brush my teeth because I'm awake No, but I mean I'll even I'm not gonna throw an extra brushing in there for the fucking dentist. I would oh I'll go one of I refuse to drink coffee before I go to the doctor and I take breathments before I go in Just cuz I like all of them my space. I don't want to be the gross guy

I don't be the guy to go some you know, he's like just one fucking it goes home to his wife, right? She's made a pork roast and he's sitting there with this fucking obnoxious kids that are all fucking sold and rich. And they're going on to some, well, she, no, she's a CPA, but she gets to work from home. She has a little home office on the side. And then I have the son who's, uh, the son's actually a cheerleader in the aisle, but the daughter's also cheerleader, so they get only great. Uh, anyway, like when she grew grown up she thought it was a dream to marry a doctor But now she's kind of like well, but didn't really try to be way expected. Yeah, yeah exactly and so he comes up to him the day and he's like Every fucking day of my life see 12 patients a day 12 shitty mouths

When is one patient gonna come in and have good breath for once in my life? I want to be that guy so I do it Yeah, it's got to make him it's bad enough. He's living in denial about his kid. I mean, okay. I just want to Jeff also It's like that came in it was governed that too. It looks like it and seen a razor in four months, but yeah, the freshest bread He's not like a patonia So you're not gonna get ready for your colonoscopy you're not gonna like no, I'm gonna take care of business I don't want to be gross. Are you gonna get a copy of the video for real? I hope so man. I'm gonna request one now you get the whole video or do they They cut off the we're about to have our first video

Do you think the end of the first like 30 seconds? They must right. It's a 20-minute procedure. So it's a long video But you know there's a lot of me to explore. So, you know, I had an endoscopy, what is that, that's the one where they go through the mouth, right? Yeah. I had one of those ones and, you know, they kind of, they put you, they gave you that twilight anesthesia or I guess you're awake, but then you don't remember it.

That's so creepy. And my wife said that when I came out and like I was getting dressed again and everything, she said I was the biggest asshole in the world and that the doctor came in to explain the results and I have no memory of any of this. And he gave me a piece of paper, he gave my wife a piece of paper to explain everything.

And as soon as the doctor left, I looked at her and I go, what's that? And she's like, oh, it's the explanation of your results. And I was like, give that to me. You're not gonna understand that. So I took it from her. And she said, I just stood staring at it for like five minutes and then she was like, are you done with that?

And I was like, done with what? And she's like the paper in your hands. And I was like, yeah, here, I gave it to her. And then like literally like 30 seconds later, I was like, what's that? What's that? Oh, God. Awful, awful.

I'm still apologizing to the state for what a dickhead I was. I when I came to I was eating lunch at a pizza at a manga pizza here in Austin and I was looking at a pizza in front of me and I go, who ordered this? And my mom's like, that's you, you ordered that. I was like, why the fuck would I order a barbecue chicken pizza? That's not me. Because it's the best pizza. Like, that's not a pizza I would ever order under normal circumstances, but Twilight Gus. He loves fucking barbecue chicken pizza Sparkly vampires and barbecue Isn't that basically what truth serum is they just knock you out to the point where you're still awake

But you're basically unconscious. I guess Maybe that's what you were so that's the real guy. That's a real guy I'm a chicken pizza an anger Which is a lot like surface guts. Why does the pizza? Everything else is just an illusion. Hey, let me ask you guys a question. Do you have anybody seen the other guys? Yes, I watched the last night.

I thought it was funny. There's a very funny moment in that film. Which one? Like one third of the way into the movie, with the not the other guys, the real, the rock and the rock. Yeah, the rock and the rock and they're great they're fantastic they steal that whole movie and then they're well yeah yeah they're not in most of it are they only

very briefly you they had no they're in it for oh they have a good chunk of it yeah yeah there's a lot of really funny funny moments in that movie but I will say this that's not I don't think that's the worst procedure though going back I can't get away from this butt camera thing that I don't think that's the worst procedure a guy can have in terms of like Humiliation or anything I think it works to go through dickhole right? Man, that's that's true. There are tests where they they go through your dickhole with a Your rethra Guys dickhole that's vertical. You know Gus and I used to know a dude who would stick rods in a dickhole to stretch it I don't know why but he it was like he's the right

to stretch it. I don't know why, but he was like he's derived to redress. It was before Flowmax existed. He he derived some sort of sexual pleasure from that. You can buy like a set of rods that they sell at like dickhole.com or whatever. That is surprising. And yeah, it's a whole thing. I don't think that's what the rods are really intended for. I don't know. I don't think it's a whole thing. I don't think we should be more churned out dickhole rods. Sorry, your re-throw. China is a big country.

They got a lot of stuff I could make. This, my, I had a landlord who was also a really good friend, and I'd lived with them. And we had to live in the house full of people. And it was a clothing optional house because he was a nudist and we all have to sort of conform because he was the landlord. At that point, isn't he just a roommate? Yeah, it's true. Yeah, but I paid him. So, okay. And I also worked for him for a while when I lost I quit my job and we I helped him clean up apartments because he had different properties Did you clean up apartments new as well or no? No, no, no, we put clothes on for that. Okay. Um anyway So let me happy to be married. No, but I'm getting under the part. I want to understand this relationship if I can So this guy has a house. He rents a room to young girl. No, she pays him and he tells her

Clothing is optional in this house and they say you walk around me. It's super gay. Yeah, he was gay. I've met him There was two gay men and two straight men and me sounds like the long play and It was like a sitcom really yeah, it sounds like the odd couple. Yeah, so you were the only girl in the clothing optional house. Yeah Yeah, okay, so anyway, you were saying oh, but he had like he They would have naked Sunday brunch. No, but that's this and I'm getting past the nudity because that was not the interesting part of the story But you were talking about dick stuff like he had he had these really large piercings And he had like the prince Albert whatever so he had to sit down to pee because it would just spray everywhere. Oh my god Oh

He also used to I don't know if you remember it It was like a $10 lawn toy you get for a kid. Essentially, right? It was like a two- He just laid down in the front yard while the neighborhood kids would run and jump over him. I can see a rainbow. Oh my god. Okay, it's so, I know we said he had the piercing, but he also used to do, I don't know if you've ever heard of puppetry of the penis, I think it's an Australian group. I have heard of that. But he used to, like, you watch videos and stuff and he would try to do them. He could do the Loch Ness Monster pretty well. Oh, and I had a bunch of, like, I went to visit, and I had a bunch of Polaroids of all of

these, like puppets, and I forgot I had them in my jacket pocket. They made me take them out at the airport Oh, I don't know what happened to them. They're gone. I wish I still had them TSA has them the normal wall so I got the fucking idea for the backscatter like wait We could just take the pic the naked pictures ourselves. It could out the middle man page Jack on the intercom because there's a story He needs to come in here and tell about that So Jack just went to button on my phone, which is that 24 hour film festival that Harry Nolts puts on. Yeah, he's not on.

Yeah, he's not on. Essentially, they sit there, butts down in a theater, and for 24 hours, they watch one film after another back to back. And part of this thing is too, they have a big gift package as well, like a gift bag. Yeah, and one year, I got an HDDVD player. That's really become relevant. And I'll let Jack when he comes in here. He actually got a great gift. That's perfect for Jack that he got in this gift bag. Oh yeah.

It's not something you normally associate with being in the gift bag. He's on the phone. He's in the middle of something. He'll be here in a minute. What the fuck is he in the middle of? If he's on the phone, how do you answer time Jack's ever been on the phone. Anyway, so Jack will come in here if he makes it in here and we'll all be disappointed by the story of Delts. In the meantime, so you guys would have like French toast naked. Yeah, naked brunch. Wow. Isn't that dangerous in the kitchen when you're cooking?

Like, especially if you like, like, make him bacon? No, you were in apron. Oh, well, that makes it all better. In a naked are you. Yeah. You're wearing an apron. When it was clothing, it wasn't, like,, well, that makes it all better. I'm naked, are you? Yeah. You're wearing an apron. Well, it was clothing. It wasn't nakedness required.

It was clothing optimal. So it was not like we did wear clothes. We just didn't wear all the time. And the worst was that we had this one roommate that was a bit out of control. And he had a bunch of loser friends. And he brought them over. And they took over our house once I had to hide in the basement room because they loved the clothing optional idea.

But we weren't Nazis about it it but they they were and it was it was weird I don't know why I'm telling this story so they basically came over to the naked girl no I don't know it was a mix of like gay and straight people and they brought like to a stir and there was naked to a stir which I do not I'm not into that kind of that doesn't sound like a good idea I wish you would have told me this four days ago before I went Christmas shopping cuz I just I didn't think that needed to be a perverted thing like it could just you can just hang out naked like it doesn't have to be weird Yeah, it does She tell the story I but I was young and idealistic will make it weird what

You know I hear the story and all I get out of the story is I lived in a house where I was naked and had to hide in the basement That's what I My room is in the basement room. No, there you go. So you made you live in the basement with no clothes? I- This sounds like silence to the limbs. And you paid them for it. Did they drop like lotion on a basket down to the room?

You know, the whole experience was very pleasant and friendly and it didn't occur to me until now that it was really that awful. Yeah. It's all right now. No, no, I mean, just the way you make it sound. But it was actually very, we watched Babylon 5 a lot. Like it was not that bad. Oh, no, no, no.

Nothing kills a boner like Babylon 5. And listen, I don't want to, another some younger people listen to podcasts. This will never happen for you. You will never convince a girl to come live in your house be naked and watch Babylon 5 with you. There was one and I married her. It won't happen.

If you have three dudes at a female roommate living in a clothing optional house, you're going to have lunch with two other naked dudes and a girl. You know, and she'll be fully closed. That's the way that's going to work out. How the fuck did they convince you to do that? They didn't know. No, here's the thing. When I moved in, his room is in the basement too and then there are two guys living upstairs.

I noticed on his room it said clothing optional beyond this point. You have a problem with it just on knock on my door. So I was like, you know, I am okay with nudity. I just you know, I used to walk around and they get all over. Yeah, like I'm like, if you want to just make the whole house clothing optional, that's fine. And he was like, okay, well, I see the roommates and they were okay with it. So you instigated this. So like the girl moved in once to make the house clothing optional. I was just like, I must see cop.

I know, I was just like I'm like must see cop. I know I was just like I was very comfortable. He was very Not only did I see cock but I stuck cock in the shape of the Loch Ness monster. Yeah Was it did you see it through a blurry picture? It really looks more like a submarine to me. Griffin is not called the cock. It's called a penis. Thank you very much Yeah, come on. let's not be crude. Dr. Dicology, apparently, in here today. So I'm glad I got to come in the podcast today. Yeah.

This has been fun. What else do you guys want to talk about? I want to talk about food. I'm really, really hungry. Well, we're going to eat for our holiday meal. We are going to Fogo de Chau, which is essentially a Brazilian steakhouse where they bring 45 different kinds of meat around here on swords You just what you want dude. I was so sad going to the but doctor today thinking about the meal

Like I'm not gonna be able to eat the failure channel. I'm gonna have like it's gonna be while like I was like I shouldn't even go so I'm gonna waste the company money on this meal and then after the doctor's like eat whatever you want Fucking load up on me. So I'm gonna load up on me That's what doctor TV can you be that advantage? It's a doctor from the 50s. No, this is this is my you should smoke for your Q zone. This is why I think you keep complaining that you keep having these like flare ups or whatever. I did it's something else. I'll tell you about it after the

it's not like the fact that you doctor's like eat anything you want. No, no, no, I have I have two separate problems. For a problem for a lucky strike. One problem that doesn't matter what I eat. You know, I don't want to get into it on the podcast. It's like a whole thing. I have a new condition now. I have a feeling that Jeff is not actually going to a doctor. He's been full. He's like going to a butcher. But you're sitting down in the back room. He's wearing a white coat. He's like, you're fine. Eat more meat. Tell your friends eat as much meat as you need. Oh,

ribeye. Three CCs of bacon staff Yeah, no, no, I'm good. I can tell you We're gonna put that camera up your butt as soon as it comes in from Amazon. I'm gonna write you a prescription for hot beef injection Yeah, that's funny you said that because I didn't realize but apparently X 10 makes all of the surgical cameras get that get out of here I'm not kidding out of anywhere. I made that up That could be like a luxury. That was a joke you didn't get. Commercial offshoot.

You come and you clap. Turn it off. X10 never took off, right? No. I wonder if he even spilled around. You're the only person I know that ever bought an X10 product. I had some cool X10 stuff in my house. You really did.

You can view it. But yeah, it doesn't matter now. It's like all home automation stuff. I will say this, my new set up that I'm building in home with my new 3D television, which is completely unused. Did you know that 3D glasses for 3D TVs have to be powered? Yes. You have to have a battery in them and they turn on and off.

What kind of battery? It's a watch battery and then you have something to have a charging station. Yeah, so I mean, some you can plug it like a USB cord. It's yet another level of why this have something to have a charging station. Yeah, so I mean some you can plug in like a USB cord It's yet another level of why this technology is not gonna take it. It's weird to feel like we're in the dinosaur age in the technological age But that's what I feel like about 3d technology, you know baby steps. I guess in five years. That'll be awesome Yeah, don't just have 3d rooms. You'll have like two sensors in the room somewhere And you just walk in and everything else. I'll getazy Quinn they can implant the 3d directly onto my cornea So you would do that? No fucking kidding. I wouldn't do that. I want some of the shooting shit in my eyes

What modification would you make to your body for technology sake? I don't think I'd make any I don't brand and always talks about like replacing his pinky with a USB drive I think that's fucking retarded. I'd make the I'd make I'd have internal like some sort of internal key system So anytime I walked up to the door it would unlock no matter where I was Pretty cool. You can get close to that you can get a combo lock for your door and you can also get now a Starter for your car that you can access with your iPhone so you can start your phone with your iPhone I start your car with your car with your iPhone. Thank you My my car has a thing where it'll unlock.

If I have the key in my pocket, and I reach for the door handle, it'll unlock for me. That's pretty cool. It would be cool to get rid of keys, because then I would just be down to phone and wallet. And then pretty soon we'll be able to get rid of our wallets, I think, and just have our smart phones. That would be awesome. Yeah. Awesome, indeed.

It's very robotic answer there, Jeff. Thank you. Thank you very much. I mean, does Griffin have a huge purse? No. No. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, my wallet, my phone, and my pocket knife. Okay, here's the thing. Have you ever, like, check out her pockets next time. There's no girl pockets are like for show. There's not anywhere to put anything. It's true. They force you to carry something.

And she's a mom, so she's got to have a lot of stuff. I would wager if you had a normal sized purse, you would look like a bank robber. Because there would be like, saws and drills in there. And all kinds of like fucking, bloody and epoxy and. I have a picture on the website I think in my image gallery whatever of my person emptied out and it's just like so much crap like how did it troll a handle in there for like a year? Wow!

like just stupid stuff I had two different kinds of measuring tape like it's like one metric and one american? No no no I had like a like a like a sponsor polar like a construction one for like set stuff and then I had one for costume, which is flexible. It would be kind of an interesting experiment You take a normal woman and you just pull her off the street Which you never let you do and dump and dump her purse I know, you know, yeah, she would never let you dump her purse out Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you don't have to pull Like you just like yeah, just just walked on the street grab her purse the anchor throw it on the ground

And be like hey, hey, hey, it's an experiment. Okay, we got to take a science. What is official? It would be easy. You take a woman's purse and you dump it out and then you cut open the belly of a shark and you see like what what has more junk in it? The the woman have the old license plate and the spare tire that was just randomly stuck into the purse. Like which would which would be more cluttered? A great white stomach or the average woman's purse? I'm doing it tomorrow. I'm gonna shark purse. That's awesome That would be great if you got it if you got a like a mini shark purse and you could explain everything that's in it then Yeah, I didn't like that it would open up the belly right like You have to reach in through the mouth full stuff out

Fucking human arm I didn't leave that in there I didn't leave that in there. Persons have been off doing its own thing. How do they get established? That's not true, right? Like, if you really cut open a shark, there would not be all that stuff in there. Why not?

How did that get established? I think that happens on occasion. Snopes. Random stuff like that? Yeah, I don't think it's a common thing, but I think it can happen. If you're going to look up a shark stuff on snopes, please look at the story of the diver

who is swallowed whole by a shark and because he had his tank, he survived and he had a neo-prime Wet suit on so it couldn't digest him and it just barfed him out later. I don't think that's true. I heard that story as a kid I thought I don't know. Did your brother tell you this story? I think you should take that with a grin of fucking salt. It was like, it doesn't have my brother together. My brother's coming in town for Christmas. Yay! Yeah, I'm excited to see him.

How long is he going to be in town for? Two days too long probably. Who loves your brother? My wife. My wife likes my brother too a lot. Yeah, I'd be concerned. He's like the Nathan version of me, Silent. He's actually...

He's not Silent. Well, I've only met him at parties. He does this. I'm demonstrating Griffin. When he talks to me because I have a low attention span You'll realize the reason I have a low attention span is because I grew up with my brother and he He does like when he gets hold of you He will talk nonstop to you to the point where you can't get a word and edge wise and then when I zone out He'll sit there when he talks to me and he pushes me like it's a concept like physical reset to the pay attention pay attention pay attention

How do you keep from killing him? I don't I don't know how because he's my brother You know what I mean? And I just haven't showed him to death, but watch him watch him when he talks to me He pushes me like constantly tap me on the shoulder or something like that It's horrible. It's horrible. So Pat. I hope you're listening you suck Hey, have you guys talked about what today's immersion is yet? No, no, we haven't we we actually Scattered around it actually. Well, do you want to talk specifically about it? No, no, we haven't we actually skirted around it actually Well, do you want to talk specifically about it? No, I'm just curious if you guys have covered it I mean, I'm on an immersion high right now. I had so much fun yesterday filming immersion and then

We talked about that one in depth. We gave away everything on that one. I can't imagine that would be the case That's number seven. So it's like four weeks away has to be the most fun. I've had filming immersion yet Easily I did tell the mother conversation you and I had where I realized what the fuck we're going through all this work to make these elaborate games for you to make for me and Gus. You suck. Yeah, you're awesome. And all the guests says it's complain. Yeah, I'm super appreciative of it.

And yeah, you were a barrel last. No, you've noticed lately. I don't know if it's because you're always thinking about other things like a cheap manner. But like there's a certain point in like a shoot where you just like decide you're not gonna be cooperative anymore It's true. I was cooperative yesterday. There's no point. I wasn't cooperative No, no, no, you were but you have this like you're an attitude shift. I can't really describe it That's insane. So there is a certain amount of time that if we take you away from achieving hunter then it's like Let's get let's get this done.

Let's wrap up. Oh yeah, I like to be efficient. So Jack you were telling them to welcome Jack. It's up guys. Hey Jack. So you came, I told them that you went to button on this. Yes button on and you come in here now to tell us what was the big item in your gift bag.

Really? That's what you brought me in for? Yeah. In the gift bag it would have been probably a blu-ray of something I don't know I know I think there's another item in your gift bag that actually wasn't in the gift bag for what is worth if we're getting thankful here no we we saw the movie hobo with the shotgun which was the the Grindhouse trailer winner I don't know if you guys saw that the original Grindhouse or not the original but the Grindhouse movie with

Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez death proof and planet terror whatever remember what they have they did a D they did a contest for the DVD where they were looking for fake trailers for people on the internet or people wherever to make send in and they would pick like the best three then put them on the DVD the winner of that contest was a trailer called hobo with a shotgun, which is a great trailer. And anyway, that ended up winning in one of the DVDs and the people who made it actually made a full-length feature called Hobo with a shotgun. I just want to point out the story does not need this much setup.

Yeah, I was going to say Jack has a way of telling a story that makes me never want to hear a story again. No. Alright, thanks, I'm speechless. So what was in the gift bag that was some- So right before the movie started, Harry came on stage and was like, so every hobo needs one thing, they need a bottle of booze and they need a way to pleasure them. So he two things. Two things. Whatever. What did I say? Did I say one? Yeah, okay. Yeah.

And this is how Harry knows things. So the- Everybody needs one thing, 40 cupcakes. So the weight staff then comes by and starts dropping what looks like flashlights face down on in front of the guys on our table. Like everyone in the theater, all the guys got this thing going like a flashlight. And pretty quickly people started realizing if you unscrewed where the lens would be and the flashlight there was a rubber vagina. So it's flesh light so hold up you know true that right you weren't kidding the other day I went to lunch with Jack oh no no I was not kidding and I got a jack

like you want to drive or should I drive and I said you drive jack so we get in the car and there's some shit on the passenger seat seat and I just start moving in he's like oh I'm becoming my flesh light and I'm like haha whatever there really was a flesh light in the flesh light I hadn't taken that he's fucking with the flesh How is it? I need to go wash my hands. I don't plan on using it, but it's at my house I use it bring it to the office anyway the the the women got a little like fleshlight vibrators I guess like little like what's our pocket rocket things to so what the guys got flesh like the women got little You think anybody used it during the button on my phone? I

You've been there. I bet you would have done it just for effect. I do it. Fuck yeah, they give it to you It's meant to be used right you're gonna be in there for two I'm supposed to go 25 hours without getting off That's terrifying that it's like popcorn. Yeah, exactly You let it get cold. It's not good So anyway, I don't know this but you know fleshlight is basedlight is based here in Austin. Like they're they make those here in Austin. Listen to that enthusiastic trivia. No, I don't know. What are the guys who went to Buttenham with on works there, I guess.

And they literally like they they gave them to us not wrapped or anything. Apparently he pulled them literally right off the line. Like they just put them into a big basket and took them right off the line. So they're fresh. This portion of the podcast brought to you by Flushlight. Flushlight, go fuck yourself. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha at Butt Namathon. Butt Namathon was awesome. True Grits is probably the best movie I saw, which is actually the first movie we saw too. The fighter is fantastic.

That's Mark Wahlberg and Chris Chalberg. Fantastic movie. It's coming out, I think, this week. We saw Green Hornet, which was surprisingly good. It's a comedy superhero movie that's rated R. When does that come out? That comes out, I want to say January February? Yeah, that's what it was. yeah and then we're in our action movie

yeah we also saw Tron Legacy they bust us to the iMacs to see Tron Legacy in 3d oh I didn't know that yeah yeah we like at the very end the areas like grab your stuff there's buses outside get on I'm not telling you where we're going and then we went to the Bob Bullock Museum and saw Tron Legacy everyone grab your flesh likes yeah that's what the museum and John Favreau showed up. Oh yeah, and John Favreau, Bob Orsi, and Ron Howard showed up and showed 40 minutes of footage from Cowboys and Aliens. And just to tell you how cool this is, I mean, Jackson's in a movie theater of like 200

people, and it's Ron Howard and John Favre just walking to the movie theater and like give a presentation. They're like, hey, yeah, we got two reels of the movie, just spit it off the avid, like wasn't color time. You could see lights and stuff. These like, yeah, there's a lot of stuff we need painted, but you know what, you're a movie, you're a savvy movie audience, so we'll show it to you.

You know, don't do any reviews. You know, please don't talk about plot points, but if you liked it, you can tell people you liked it. Just, you know, don't get too specific about stuff. Nice. It was neat. It was really neat being able to see stuff that clearly will be fixed later.

But it's like, cause I mean, literally no audience will ever see that again. You know, like that won't be on a DVD. That won't, like the final version, they'll only see the final version. And that kind of stuff is pretty cool. I really, really like that. You know, they actually showed that same cut to some of the Howard Stern guys the other day they were talking about on the show. Oh, really?

They were pretty excited about it. Yeah, I think I just took away still your- I wasn't trying to, but they were talking about the 40-minute cut they got to see did you hear about the other big John Favreaux news? Oh yeah he's not doing Iron Man 3 he's not directing Iron Man 3 Oh but there is gonna be an Iron Man 3 yeah I'm sure there will be I think makes tons of money uh he's doing magic kingdom which is a Disney movie I think a lot of people thought that Favreaux was gonna be gone after he did not get the Avengers franchise yeah Yeah, that makes sense. Did you guys also hear in similar circles that what's her face, the black widow?

Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds are getting divorced. They are. So back on the market. That's the end of the market. That's pretty awesome. Who knew? Who wouldn't last?

Yeah. They've been a separator for six months, secretly. How long has it been together? They got married in 2008. OK. Well, why are we concentrating on Scarlett? They got married in 2008. Okay. Well why are we concentrating on Scarlett? Let's talk about Ryan. Yeah he's hot. He's dreamy. Isn't Ryan Reynolds? He was on the two guys in a girl in a pizza place. He was. That was him. That then became two guys in a girl. And there was always a room that he was dating the,

while he was on the show, he was dating the head of development at NBC. At the time. You told me the story before. I like this story. It is a cool story, like this guy is like, you know, and now he's the lead actor and green lantern. Yeah. I read the funniest fucking article about green lantern. Oh, yeah. He has, he's how green lantern is the most uncreative person

in the universe because he has a ring that can literally create anything he wants and he always just makes a big fist to punch people with. And that's all he ever does with it. Joel and I saw a movie the other day in the Green Lantern trailer came on beforehand. And I don't know if you know this but Joel has a Green Lantern hoodie that he wears everywhere. And he's kind of looked at me and goes, well, I can never wear my hoodie again.

Oh, yeah, good. It's very sad. Green Lantern has always been one of the lame resupert heroes in my opinion. I always liked it. I just like, I always hate that the DC villains is that they always just made the same version of the hero as the villain for everybody. Like what the fuck didn't Sinestro the yellow green lantern? Why you can fight Superman? Why is he like green lantern? I wonder that all the time. It keeps me up at night. All right, fair enough.

Just my ass. Sorry, we were. Hey, we have a fireplace outside. I don't know if you guys need that. Oh, yeah I've been showed up and drop off a fireplace. I ordered that. Yeah, that's cool Like a fireplace. I bought us a fire pit. Oh fire pit. Okay. We're making schmores Shmores you can ask you like that you fucking asshole We play basketball and make some more's Be great. They're like summer camp. Yeah. Oh, did you get a Tuscan Wadershirt, buddy? I did get a Tuscan Wadershirt Yeah, I saw that on the tee theory. Yeah, that's funny. That's pretty cool. It would be like summer camp. Yeah. Oh, did you get a Tuscan Raider shirt, Bernie?

I did, got a Tuscan Raider shirt. Yeah, I saw that on the T-Fearies. Nice. That's funny. That's pretty cool. It's a Tuscan Raider shirt like from Star Wars Sand people, but it's. It looks like the style. It looks like the Tuscan Raiders.

The Oakland Raiders? Yeah, it's Oakland. They went to LA and they moved back. Yeah, I guess yeah, they're Oakland still. Yeah. Again. Much like the Tuscan Raiders, they move around for real. God, I can't believe I'm going to do this.

We're a nomadic team. They should have a level up and down the west. I really want to see the end result of this but as a because I'm your friend I'm gonna tell you you just buttoned your cord into your shirt. In 20 minutes that was gonna be fucking funny. Five minutes. We should probably wrap this up. It's about that time. We've got Halo Horse to do today. That's coming out. We're about to go lunch Oh, well, lunch later. You got time for some horse. Well, we want to thank Jack Patillo for stopping by this guy Absolutely. Bye. You're gonna make Jack Madness pronounce the last name or or I learned beat him at Halo Horse 2 weeks in a row Hey, this is something we should probably I'm afraid to even mention this in the podcast because it's something

I'd like you guys to see before he knows we're looking for it Brandon he won't listen. Oh, he does listen the Brandon is such an angry video game player and I discovered that when we were working on a commercial together when we should get him to play Halo he gets furious. He gets really really genuinely that I can see that really We got to tape it somehow. He's fucking lightning in a bottle like I like I like you think I'm bottled up That guy's got fucking rage to get rage to spare like I scares me He doesn't keep it under Jack. I think a lot, but yeah, he's got some rage. Yeah, interesting He he's uh for some reason he won't admit the fact that he hates the long horns

But he really genuinely hates the longhorn football team and he went to UT He went to the where you know the long horns are team- And he went to UT, he went to the Longhorn's or Team Four. Yeah. And he genuinely like really, right? Do you agree, Jack? Yeah. So, Jack, you're back as I guess. Like I run in with one of the football players?

I don't know what it is. They stuffed him in his locker to one to 20 times. He got beat at Halo by a titan. All right, well let's wrap this up. All right. If there's anything else that we should cover, let's talk, can we recap real quick, the drunk tank award categories?

Just to make sure we're thinking about it. I have, and if you have any feedback on this, well, thanks. Anything else that we should cover? Let's talk, can we recap real quick, the drunk tank award categories? Just make sure we're thinking about it. I have, and if you have any feedback on this Jack, you know, please jump in on this. And the audience, you know, we're gonna have us, yeah, best online video, best movie, best trailer, best TV show, and best DLC. Can I ask a question for clarification?

I don't remember how we did it last year, but can best trailer be across all platforms? Like in a trailer television movie. Exactly. It's a's a big, really ambiguous. Okay. Okay. So just the best trailer of whatever. Right. Yep. Sounds good. We just had to come out in 2010. So you're doing best DLC this year? Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. It's a good year for DLC. I think I think the industry's grown up enough to where it deserves some category, but you know, we want to keep it to a small short list. We need the industry.'s impressed, because it's not too hard to work with a category for you. It's official. It's in the book. You can hear the book that's got weight. I guess we'll figure out our nominations,

go have those next week, and then do the actual awards ceremony in two weeks. Do you want to tell people when the last date they can order for the store is? I don't know if I've taught my head, but I have it in email. I'll post it on the news today. So what is the best Christmas present that you know that somebody's getting somebody else? Why know a lot of people that are getting RT short season two for Christmas?

And I think that's a fantastic gift. That's great one. I'm giving that to everyone on my list. So my wife doesn't listen to the podcast, thank God. So I can tell you what my wife is getting from somebody else. And this is probably one of the greatest gifts I've ever heard of in my entire life so Anna, Matt's wife, found a cheese serving tray. Oh she you are gonna get in trouble. I'm gonna get trouble over this. I wouldn't do it. He

waiting till after the holiday. It's a cheese serving tray. Okay I guess I would say it so my wife is getting a cheese serving tray which doesn't sound like a great gift but it's fucking awesome. Okay. My wife never listens to the podcast. She's not gonna hear this. All right, let's go for it. You've already fucked it up. You might as well go all in. I didn't say it a matter to anybody anyway, but this is like a great gift. So she, Anna got my wife a cheese serving tray that is recycled slate from the chalkboard in Quincy Elementary School, where my wife went to elementary school.

No way. That she just was flipping through a magazine she said and she saw that this company like recycled the chalk old slate chalkboards from Quincy Elementary in Quincy Elementary in Quincy Illinois and turned them into these cheese serving trays. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's awesome. That's like the most specific gift you could ever imagine. This imagine like your elementary school and like somebody had turned into a product somehow. Here's an urn filled like your your elementary school in the like somebody hit turned into a Product somehow here's an urn filled with all your elementary school teachers ashes Pretty cool right? That's pretty cool. I think my wife is getting her like a selection of ribbons

I don't even know what she's getting here, you know, and I feel like I should warn my wife right Griffin that this awesome gift Is about the land on it. I can't say something. Yeah, I would say out of it You should listen to talk about it on the podcast you you spoil you like to spoil Yes, you spoil the couple of gifts that Jeff was gonna give me a cup You're you're a gift spoiler no no no no no no no I don't know you guys talk about I do I was gonna get Jeff like some like nice photos of million eye and then like you told I'm like the day of and like you don't remember that. Oh, I don't I didn't tell you about the welding gears getting you this year She knows that's not true because we don't buy each other gifts

So I have to burn you spoil gifts are give to the gift is a staycation. She's got a real problem Me again. She claims I've never given her a gift either that I didn't give them a wedding gift and all that stuff And I and I give great gifts. I'm like the best gift giver ever Give gifts to her or Jeff All right, well, let's give Gus the gift of an ended podcast ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever Characan's Afri-ro Diaz has nothing to do with this podcast. Analyze various unsolved and rooster-teeth's cryptic podcast, f*** face. Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise specific, but short.

Listen to show name on Apple Spotify or wherever you get podcasts. It's f*** face, a podcast. Subscribe or no. You do yes? podcast. Subscribe or know. You do yes.