Rooster Teeth Podcast - RT Podcast #147

Episode Date: January 4, 2012

Rooster Teeth welcomes 2012 with Jayordan Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers, Will Arnett and Anthony Mackie comes the new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motormouth outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland. If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church.

Twisted metal, now only on peacock You're listening to NPR, she did. That's how we're going to NPR. That's how we're going to start 2012. Yeah, I don't. I have a bias against acoustic guitar. Like I don't know why. I like ever since college and all this people singing about how they should save the sheep. Dude, there's nothing worse than like that guy who's sitting in front of the door and playing acoustic guitar trying to pick up shots. And that guy, that guy, who is there?

He is forever. So you guys are just there with Joe. I was was gonna say that works. No, doesn't well No, I mean he'll do it even when the chicks aren't there. He'll just keep singing about the She calls them. It's like the hunter who uses the duck call when the ducks aren't there because they'll show up They're like, oh, what's this? I'm interested. Yeah, he's not talking to the ducks that are present He's trying to draw in new ducks. We should and teach them how to save sheep And stuff like that. What is Jill? What is the save the save the sheep movement i'm not moving i don't know what the save the sheep is but they seem to want to sing about it like all the time

i don't know they'll always want to save the sheep and save the cows and save everything i haven't heard that song i don't know it's always involved with the kutsu guitars though you never hear like a gangster rap song about it it's all i'm saying but you may have that would be i'd like to put a request up for a gangster rap save the sheep you It's all I'm saying. We may have probably be I'd like to put a request for a gangster rap to the sheep. You may have heard the voice right there, but we have a very special guest on today's podcast. We have Jay or Dan. What do you prefer? Jay or Jordan? It's Jordan. Now it changed yesterday. Oh, no. I updated his thing. Oh, wow. We got to stop doing

that. We got to stop a updating names. Why is that? I don't know. Because you learned someone's name, what Jay or Dan 23, right? Can I say something? Not to derail Jordan's introduction. Jack is in a foul mood. I'm old. We should, that's birthday was yesterday. We should have recorded the setup for this podcast

because Gus and Joel were bickering. And I'm over here bickering with Jack. I just had turned my headphones on half a notch and It's over here fucking end of the table glowering It's not a notch. What a douche It gets that way it sees is unbearable. He's about to be in a worse mood by the way because you asshole's one the vagus without me That's why I was that one is I invite you a thousand times you should be fucking happy

I Invite you a thousand times you should be fucking happy He's not a big boy. He can't make the decisions on his own. No clearly not wait I should be happy I don't go to Vegas. Why should I be happy? Yeah, why should be happy tell us y'all what happened? I don't like the way this conversation. What was this name? You set up the topic and then you stepped away from it. I just I don't know I lost a lot of money Yeah, he did how much how much is a lot now? It's someone a coaster you could go It wasn't it wasn't black jacks fault though

Because I grinded away I grind away for hours and hours and hours sounds kind of gross actually but um and then and then it just I just I walked away from the blackjack table I had this great strategy where I was gonna walk up to the roulette table And I was just I was well, that's your first problem right there Walking into roulette I walked into the red roulette table and I would put $25 down and if it won I took my $25 I put on black And then I take it and I just bet $25 if that $25 lost then I double it to 50. This is the oldest Lamous is the oldest thing in the world. It's the oldest label in the world.

Yeah, oldest label saying it's just double it and double it and double it and it worked. You double it and double it and double it and double it and it worked. You double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and double it and if it rolls red like I can't remember what it was seven or eight times Then it's your fucked and it's over and that's what happened And all of a sudden the pit master has you like in a back stock room like working you over with a sack of soap I was there for like four hours. I mean I was doing damage. It was great. I was having a blast So I walked up and like put 30,000 dollars on the table Whoa, the number yeah like bam bam bam bam and he was gone in like five minutes. I was like aha Whoa number yeah like bam bam bam bam and he was gone in like five minutes I was like haha be that guy and so you watch some guys who's 30,000 dollars in five minutes

Yeah little that I know at the time was foreshadowing That does happen that does happen when you're Vegas where you go really high up or really low down But then you watch the mother guy betting a retarded amount of money and just kind of like takes away the high-end low away from you Yeah, it's $30,000 He's deflecting you can you can do your thing just let let everyone focus on that guy the money and just kind of like takes away the high end low away from you. Yeah. It's $30,000. Yeah, it's $30,000. He deflects. You can do your thing, just let everyone focus on that guy. No, it's the equivalent of the guy out in front of the dorm with the acoustic guitar.

That's what I think. I was in LA for a long time and had no money whatsoever. And I would still go to Vegas when I had no money or whatever and watch these guys, just like pull out these rules of a hundred and just be like, I could live off of that for a year. Yeah, it was just like depressing. I remember, like when I was in college, I went to Vegas. Like my first or second time I went to Vegas and I was playing 100 just be like, I could live off of that for a year. Yeah, it was just like depressing. I remember like when I was in college, I went to Vegas,

like my first or second time I went to Vegas and I was playing Crap's like, you know, $10 minimum table or whatever. And the table next to us was reserved and I was like, that's weird. And this guy shows up with just this rack of chips playing by himself with probably $100,000 on the table, just this one guy.

And I'm just like, that's my college career tripled right there essentially. I play with my stuff all day if I had a thousand dollars to fucking rub it all over take your time like what's up guys it's fundamentally crafted by yourself that's a very social gambling game no crap crap you need a large group of people that are all into the game well say yeah yeah money but it was lonely see it's you're making it like it's like it's like it's like a woman you could have been his companion by By the way, that's all bullshit. By the way, it's like, you know, oh you have friends. You know, that's all bullshit. That's just what I'll happily be the guy by himself the money.

You're living the dream then. Well, yeah, except for the money part. You know, part. I don't know. See, here's what I've learned about gambling in Vegas. And this is the thing that puts it all in perspective. Is that you can, let's say you're going with whatever amount of money you want to spend $1,000. You can go up and down all day. You can win $10,000, you can go down, all that. The casino, you go back and forth over your career.

The casino, you cannot beat the casino. You can never, here's one. And the long run, we'll go ahead. Here's why. Because you can go up and down all day, but the casino only has to get you to zero once. That's right. And once they get to zero, then they wait.

You can't ever get them down to zero. That's right. That's right. It's like the same thing. Markets can stay irrational longer than you can say, you know, liquid. Albums. You know, you will never get them to zero and they will eventually they they have an end game

And you do not have no you should go in you have a set amount of money say I have this amount of if I get to that point then I'm done and You know are you telling us you tell yourself? I just tell them to keep telling myself you're talking to future drill But I'm gonna get I'm gonna get back. I just looing them the money I'm gonna get those fuckers The thing is I've dug myself into a hole so deep now. Oh God Then it's like I considered a table When a lot of money and spend a lot of time and I don't put a dent into it and that's a problem

So that's that's easy. It's got to play bigger tables That's a problem to where you sit there. You can now it doesn't even matter fuck it Yeah, yeah, get that attitude all gambling. Where'd you guys stay? Where we all at mentally back? Oh fuck that place and We were out there. I had a meeting January 2nd in Las Vegas, and I actually have to go back next week for the IAW TV Awards What's that the world's most hungover meeting? Yeah, pretty no January 1st was a race because Joel and I we thought okay, since I have to go out there January 2nd Joel's always up for going to Vegas usually Jack is too, but this weekend was more like a, we've been for Jack.

Okay, whatever. So I said, Joel, I said, hey, how about we go out to Vegas for New Year's? And then we did something we would never, ever do. We went to one of those like ultra club mega party. Chishi clubs. Oh my God, I'm so sorry for you guys. Yeah, I mean, one of those, it's, we have blasted here.

I mean, getting into it was terrible, because it was like standing aligned, to stand in line, to go up to an escalator, to get me to go out of the clipboard, to like, then they check your eyes. It's like, just wanted to check what, this is ridiculous. But anyways, once we got in there,

then it was a blast. No, fuck everything about that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, We had a blast it was a blast I even said like look I never do anything like this I'm just gonna embrace this and have fun with it. We had a blast it was a lot of fun see I don't know if you know this But if you drink a lot of alcohol. Yeah things get fun. That's true That's very true. You raise an interesting counterpart. I mean it was a lot of fun It was a lot of fun. You know who's who drank a lot of alcohol lately? I have a story for you is Jack Jack drank a lot of alcohol See when we first moved into this building Jack and I went across the street in this place called little wood rows

We filmed a bunch of shorts fair. Yeah, we did that in your clone and they're like oh they have a thing where they have Got like a list. Oh, yeah, we got like a list of like a hundred beers something like that They give you keychain. Yeah, and so Jack and I were like I said I'm gonna do this list and I was like Okay, let's do the list and so for like a year and a half, and the thing about this is that if you get through the whole list, then you get a plaque. And you can put whatever you want on the plaque and they put it on the wall. And so you're like, you're a real name. You're a regular's name.

So for a long time, I got to like number six on the list, you and I. And it was like number six was like some weird grass beer Yeah, yeah, it's called lawn mower and that was it for me. It was terrible that that we did me out like number six Thank you It's like that golf clap it was definitely the first speed bump There were a couple speed bumps on the the big 50 and so the whole time Jack is with Linus way down the list for like a year We didn't lose that and make it fun of me the whole time Because you couldn't play a lot more right and so like we finally like last week

Right you got through the endless yeah like writing like near your birthday. Yeah, and So you finish the list and they brought over the thing you wrote down on the thing what you're gonna put on your plaque Mm-hmm what you don't know is that I went ahead and intercepted the waitress. So what? Oh, I thought you were trying to get her number or something. I saw you go over and talk to her. I bribed her $100. Oh my God.

And I said, hey, listen, if I give you $100, can I change what's on the plaque? She's like, yeah, no problem. Oh my God, yeah. So I'm on a napkin It says Joel number one jack smells He's joining out of a cocktail napkin like he's planning a business. You gotta send me that picture. You gotta send me that picture What is this one of a bitch? What did it say originally?

That is my name So fine too because the waitress came over. I wasn't gonna I didn't even think about this but the waitress came over and you were like so proud And she was like okay right down this card what you want like Jack was writing like big block letters like Jack is the greatest something like Jack is tombstone Why are you writing in big block letters like why want them to know exactly how I want to look like and that was the moment I knew I can't have it. Don't make you do it. Oh my.

Email me that. When they put it up to, we'll take a photo there when they put it up on the wall. Oh, there's absolutely no loyalty at Woodrow. $109 buys their loyalty. All right, so I need to go through the list. And I see I like out there six beers and but. Number one and you smell.

It's just recorded for eternity now. It's like on the record. It's like thousands of years from now, they'll have the Magna Carta and the plaques and little wooddrows. Jolt's number one and Jack smells. So the worst thing on that punch list, it was 50 beers, right? 50 beers, yeah.

So the lawnmowers like number six, which is like the first real stumbling block and then there's another one further down the list. You were on that one for like three months. Yeah, I did. So what do you have to do to knock it off the list, you just have to have like a drink line of it? Yeah, you have to drink one. And you have to drink them in order too.

So it's like one through 15, you have to drink them in the correct order, and then they come over the end of the night, however many you drank, they punch it off your key chain of 50. Theoretically, you're only supposed to drink two at night. Yeah, but they kind of ignore that. But anyway. We're throwing them under the bus. You're only supposed to drink two a night. Yeah, but they kind of ignore that. But anyway The bottom of the bus. Well, I mean if you're there for like you know three hours of football game You can drink more than two beers. You're like ten or twenty So anyway around number thirty six something like that or thirty two somewhere in the thirties

There's a string called the Mitchelada. Oh, yeah, yeah, which so good. Have you had one of these Jordan? Okay, essentially it's tomato juice and beer with Tabasco sauce in it. It's a thing of it like a bloody Mary but with beer instead of vodka. It was the most disgusting thing in the world ever. I'd say people would break up. Or give it like this, vomit going in.

Yeah. And so it's one of those things where I was just like, no, pretty vomit. It doesn't make me sound like a drink. No, it's pretty much not. It's tomato juice with Tabasco sauce. That's what those drinks are like. Chicksal like. And I'm pretty sure the only reason they like it is just to throw

us for a loop. It's just like because we don't understand it. Really? Is that a point? I'm showing Jordan some pictures of Mitchell Otis here. You were stuck on a jack for so long that I would make fun of you. One day, just to show jack up, I ordered it. Just got not doing this punch list thing. I just ordered it when we were there one day and I took one sip of that I got no fuck this is over It's terrible. I ordered one once when I was drunk because I thought I thought it sounded good Then I got it and I was instantly sober So anyway, finally one day, I feel what it was.

Bernie is like screw this, you're getting through it. So he ordered it for me. He's like you're getting this. And they're like, well, we can bring you like a half serving of one. And like, well, that help, and I was like, okay, fine. Wow, they're really good. They're actually pretty cool about it. And so anyway, she brought it to me, and I took a sip.

I was like, oh my god, that's the worst thing ever. And Bernie's just pounded it. All right, so I just chugged the whole thing down. I think I ordered my next beer too. So I like, that was my chasing for the infamous, a lot of. So anyway, once I got through that, it was smooth sailing, but that was rough to get through that one. So anyway, when I finished it,

I guess week before New Year's, so there we go. And apparently now my plaques is Joel's name on it. It's your name too. Yeah, you're right. It's so cool. It is nice to finish major life goals before 30. Exactly. Do they have a character limit on how many you can put on the plate?

Is it a tweet? Can you put up 100 characters? No, you fucking nerd. Go and say a character limit on black. They don't have a character limit so you can put this menu as you want on black. It's hand drawn. Why don't have a character limit so you can put this man yes you want a hand drawn oh Is it a black? It's hand drawn or is it printed on it?

It's hand drawn it's like maybe like like an inch to have two and just tall by like six inches long I thought it was a printed thing. I was your picture. So anyway, I hate you Joe. Congratulations. I wish you knew that. I thought you were my friend. I did something like that one time my buddy

Shaefer, he went off to New York for a summer when I was in college and He came back and all he could do of course when he came back was talk about Falcon great New York was and that done Yeah, wouldn't shut up by like three months straight and He kept talking about like places. He would go to eat in New York and one day we went to what's that little house restaurant up in Hyde Park yeah, that's high park. Yeah, bar and girl. Yeah, bar and girl So we're at the high park and they have a Rubin on the menu and he goes, oh man You wouldn't believe the Rubin's in New York So he goes yeah, they're huge way and you go to like this deli, you know some guys named deli

You know, we're like, you know, I don't know Harvey's deli or something like that They had this Rubin you wouldn't be able to lead how big it is. And I said, well, order the Rubin here, maybe it's just a big ass. I doubt it. Any orders of Rubin. I walked into the kitchen and I said, buddy, my table just ordered a Rubin. I want to order six fucking Rubins and just make them all as one gigantic sandwich. The biggest you can fucking make it.

It looked like something on a close encounter. It was just an enormous pile of meat with these two little pieces of bread. Motherfucker didn't flinch at it. I bought six sandwiches, six sandwiches, and he was like, he was like, yeah, this is okay. I was like, half cow on a piece of bread. I guess it's big. Yeah. Fucking jackass. So I didn't get to ruin his experience the way you get to ruin jacks, but it's always nice to try I'm ruining your friends. He ruined your experience He did he did cost you a lot of money. He cost me six rubens worth of worth of cash

I wonder if the waitress is just fucking with you. She just took your hundred bucks. It's like fuck that guy She better not so I just got really big And so we went there last night too, and we had the same waitress too. So she didn't say anything about it. Yeah, they're right off the Mexico with her fortune. I mean, you have to understand you've been to Little Woodrose twice since that point. We've had very casual conversations about it. Right?

Where you're like, I was like, oh, where are you guys going tonight? And you're like, oh, we're going to Little Woodrose. And I'm like, oh, fuck. I mean, the last two nights ago, when we went to Little Woodrose, I had to go there and I had to intercept the waitress again. And be like, it's up on the wall. We're up on the wall. Because I've been trying to hide this

till the back end. Oh, man. So, and it hadn't. No, apparently they have like a stack of, like they're out of those plaque things right now. So they're waiting to get more in before they put it up. So I put a lot of work into this. Nice.

Here's the shitty thing. I even asked our waitress to put my plaque in our booth that we usually sit We kind of say the same area She's like you want it right there. I was like yeah, I said okay no problems $100 please Jackson about to find in your booth That was about to find a new bar See that's back when I had money before with Devegas.

I had this happened after with Devegas this is the one that I would have never had. No. I would have been happy and lived my life normally. Exactly. Great. So last night you went to mighty fine for your birthday? Yes.

Did you get clean hands? I did. You had that hand-want hand spot. That's so cool. Every time. Yeah, we put my Jordan to it for the first time. Yeah, it really is, right? Yeah.

Where's your clean hand sticker? I took it off. I was wearing that in one of the video podcasts. I had a, I have clean hand sticker. Oh, yeah. When we had the black shirt. Oh, yeah. And then how the, how the fuck did you have clean hands like at 10 in the morning?

I don't know. I think I think I, I think it was, when a member was doing those allergy shots, I would go to West Lake to do that. And I'd come back and buy Rudy's in the morning. Rudy's breakfast tacos and Rudy's is the same. It's a barbecue place owned by the same people who owned mighty fine hamburgers, and they had a buy Rudy's in the morning. Rudy's breakfast tacos and Rudy's is the same, it's a barbecue place, owned by the same people who own mighty fine hamburgers,

and they have a hand washing machine with the stickers there. I don't understand why that hasn't taken off. I've never seen that anywhere else other than Rudy's and mighty fine. You know what else they have in that place? They must, the dude who owns that must be kind of OCD, because they also have something that's really cool

in that, in the bathroom there, which is on the inside of the door, they have a hook where you open it with your foot. So when you're leaving the bathroom, you open the door with your foot instead of genius. Yeah. How's that not caught on? It's just a little metal tab at the bottom. You just hook your foot under and pull the door.

That's awesome. No idea. They got one on those the third base too over in South Park. Do they? I don't know. I don't even wear that. There's something else to do. There's something else like that, but I can't forget what it was though.

Welcome to the regional portion of the podcast. There we go. There's a regional eerie portionerie's not people people love food are on here. They've already said now They don't where to go. We're a really cool thing. iTunes named us top three podcasts for the game in hobbies Yeah, yeah, they did their iTunes rewind for 21 11. Mm-hmm. It's suck it. We were up there That's also suck it lonely island That's YouTube. Oh yeah, whatever. Same thing. They've got a podcast to you, I'm sure.

Screw them anyway. This is also I realized now that you have this. This is our set of highlights. They're big on TV, but we got the internet. This is our first podcast of 2012, and this is the fifth year we've been doing podcasts now. Wow. Congratulations.

We started at the end of 08. We did 08, 09, 10, 11, and now 12. Five years. God, that podcasts now. Wow. Congratulations. We start at the end of 08. We did 08, 09, 10, 11, and out 12. Five years. God, that's crazy. Yeah. I mean, we only did like two at the end of 08. So, well, take qualified. I don't take it away from you. We like the first five over a month. Right. Yeah. I mean, we're in the middle of our second presidential term. We're just at the beginning. The first. Yes. One of the, what did the first podcast? What was the purpose of it? Do you remember? I'd remember. Uh, Jack or remember? We were the purpose of it? Do you remember I remember?

Jack or remember we I can recall no We I know we it was before we talked about that stupid game with the sheep Taking a back full circle the alien flock flock. Yeah, no, it was to launch achievement hunter Because we did the bet with that was the bet I don't know I think it was launched before that because we did our five years. No, she must have like we're turning four in July Yeah, so that was a start that was the start of achievement It was the bet. Yeah, the bet the gamer score bet. Oh, right. So that was like I mean Jeff and I talked about achievement hunter for a long time It had all those stupid names. We were trying to whatever we're gonna call it

Manage men was one of them and so he's just like like introducing gamer score And that was like the first things we started doing I did a I Did a mile high club video in a journal like, I think like, what was that? That had been 2008 like, like October, the original modern war for the, yeah, what are we at? Three, so there's been, there's four iterations go. Four iterations, so wow, really four iterations. It had been a little physics because it was modern warfare one, which is, which had mile high club. And then you been a little physics because it was Modern Warfare 1 which is which had Mile High Club and then you had a get whatever the triark one was after that the Modern Warfare 2 yeah that was a and then you had Black Ops World War yeah World War yeah World War then Modern Warfare 2

then Black Ops and now Modern Warfare 3 so that's that's got high achievement which is at the end of Modern Warfare 2 like we talked about that one I remember that was a very distinct moment for me because I didn't even play through that really, but that was the moment where I gave up Competitive gaming and anyway, whatever that was the moment where it's like, you know, I'm just putting the game on easy from now on All of them from here on out. I'm just not being competitive. I'm just gonna play. What was the achievement at the end that got you? Yeah, yeah, I was like Where's this like well? You could do everything right and still the scenario may not unfold in a way where you're gonna get the achievement.

And it's just sort of like left, right, left, right, left, down, up, down, up. You know, it's like, that was impossible. You had to go through, are you familiar with this Jordan? No, I'm not. Okay, so it was, after you finished, was it the original Modern War? Modern Warfare one.

I'm weird because I have a thousand points in the Modern Warfare, I think, I'm definitely the first one, and I'll close to the second one But I've never played a single round of multiplayer in modern warfare that weird That is weird must be some kind of weird like because like a most of the people at least it's my experience What's the people who are into that game? It's about bought the multiplayer? I know tons of people who play that game hardcore and most of them haven't even played the single

Infinity War was always really good about making all their achievement single player And then like then they have like multiplayer like ribbons and stuff like that which is perfect I agree. There should not be achievements in multiplayer. Maybe for DLC, but I don't know I go back and forth on that Yeah, even then it's like I don't like the idea of they're being a game where you can't get all the achievements We don't complete. It's not a complete experience. I mean most games now where you can't get all the achievements. We don't have them all here. It's not a complete experience. I mean, most games now, you know, come with a single player to multiplayer.

It's like, I feel it's not a complete experience if I don't play at least some of both. I get what you're saying, but in my opinion, achievements were created to give a competitive aspect to single player. Yes. Because in your show off stuff you did, you never got to show off before,

like, oh, I got all the packages in Grand Theft Auto. Three, you know, there was no way to show that off before as whereas multiplayer already has its own built-in ranking system and commendation system because you're good at the game and you're playing against other people and achievements are a way to show that off in single player jack I agree with you I think that achievement should only be in single player yeah or I agree to yeah so let it be written that's it that's it three five's it. Three or five. Oh, there you go. Four or five. Rupert podcast law. I'm gonna try to find weird.

I'm gonna try to find weird. I'm gonna try to find weird. I'm gonna try to find weird. I'm gonna try to find weird. I'm gonna try to find weird. I'm gonna try to find weird. I'm gonna try to find weird. I'm gonna try to find weird.

I'm gonna try to find weird. I'm gonna try to find weird. I'm gonna try to find weird. I'm gonna try to find weird. I'm gonna try to find weird. So. Yeah, but this thing was, it was at the end of modern warfare. And it was an airplane level, like a double-decker 747 or 767 or whatever. It was like, you had to go save a hostage. And so you started off two minutes, yeah two minutes and on the hardest difficulty, maybe less.

Yeah, it was, it was like a minute, might have been a minute. Yeah, I think it was a minute. Yeah, I definitely think it was a minute because I remember every turn of that airplane, I must have played it four hundred, five hundred times to beat it. And you would like charge through the first level

to the front of the plane, work your way up a set of stairs and then charge back down a hallway to try to get this, the hottest thing at the end. And it was, And the very anecdote goes into that slow mo. Oh, yeah, sequence, where you got to pop to get this the hottest thing at the end and it was the very end it goes into that slow-mo sequence where you got to pop the guy in the head it's like that moment where well if you fuck this moment up and I did I did I shot on ahead I did that well let me see here exactly the

date on this thing yeah it's one minute 11 13 oh seven is when I put that thing on it's a little over three years ago. Yeah. I was talking about finishing up the final episode of Recovery 1 at the same time. That puts you in the perspective for Red versus Blue fans. I'm showing Jordan here a little walk through. Someone's in the video. Gavisol, I'm even referring to Jeff in my journal as G-Funk.

God, that was a long time ago. That was a long time ago. Yeah, I think Jeff has run the 1 minute level for anywhere between 5 to 10 hours. I spent several on it myself. How many hours did it take you to get through it? Like it's 6 hours. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah maybe like 46 hours. I'm just over and over and over and over and over. How many controllers did you break? So close. It was only how you use your flashbangs. And you throw a flashbang in a room and then you just run through it, wouldn't shoot anybody in it. Yeah, I can tell you exactly. And then there's a point where there's an explosion

and a decompression of the cabin where stuff's flying out and all that. And then somebody walks up and tells me, okay, you're gonna spend the next six hours on this one minute. I'm not, I'm passing, pass. Yeah, I'll pass you. But that was the last achievement you had to get, right?

Like you got to get to that point. you got everything else up to that point. Right, this was separate from the game. You beat the whole story of the campaign, and then this was something different. Essentially it was the first spec ops mission, which they brought in the spec ops in part two, minor warfare two, but essentially this was sort of the first looking one. This actually was before the podcast,

this was the race that Jeff and I did it completed. Then I guess it took us a whole year later. We were still talking about the achievement stuff, achievement hunter, what we now call achievement hunter. We were still talking about some way to get that off the ground. And then we did the race for Jeff to get 10,000 gamers score. That was the first podcast that we did. Yeah, that was the bet, which Jeff still has not fucking paid me for after all these years.

No, no, that one he won. Yeah, he won. You paid him. No, what was the he paid me for? Oh, he made me for this. Yeah, the amount of work for one is, that one he won. Yeah, he won. And you paid him. No, what was he going to pay me for? Oh, he made me for this. Yeah, the monoworker one is the one he didn't. Yeah, he didn't. And he also never completed a...

The zombie, the dead rising survival mode. That was the bet. That was the bet. That was the bet. Yeah, that was the punishment for losing the bet. Still bar none, the best achievement that I've ever gotten. This is what my high club is great, but that seven day survivor on the original Dead Rising is incredible.

It's just like, it's literally like 36 hours to get it. Like you have the baby set your Xbox. It's pretty funny. It's really, it's a great achievement. I mean, when you have to like modify your actual life, like your real world director around babysitting a fucking game. Yeah, I love that.

I love that, but it's just, I could never do it. Like I just don't have the time, you know? It's like, God. I love that but it's just I could never do it Like I just don't have the time, you know, it's like God, I love that idea. I wish I could do it Do you have any achievements Joel that you're particular proud of? Any achievement that I've gotten I'm proud of it I'm gonna join Michael's one you got. I'm very proud None of you will get that Joey and Michael's there are tons of achievements that I've gotten that none of you people will ever get Because you'll you'll need one you won't even get it. You're scared. Tell me when I'll do it scared Like that one we have to run 25 feet

I mean that one's impossible too because it's sort of like you're running you're running you're running It's like just run over the thing, but it's like to connect there's quite work or whatever So it's like you want it running like two miles walk over a log That was cool. It's all workout. So you should, if you're playing that game, you probably appreciate the fact that you have to run two miles. It's horrible.

I tried that EA. I took game fuck that. I tried that one too. That's a little in there. It's a little badly that kicked my ass. Yeah. God. I don't pay attention to any achievements you have that you're, I don't pay attention

to them. I really don't care that much. Jordan, do you play games much? Yeah, I do. Anything you're particularly proud of, Achimis? Achimis? No, not really. I just play it and then whatever I have, like, you know, I go through it once, I don't have like 16 out of like 50. Yeah, that looks good. Same way, like whatever I play, whatever I get while playing, I get. Yeah. You have to have a ton. I've got a couple.

Um, but perfecting geometry wars one. Oh, yeah, that's pretty damn good. That was pretty others There's two achievements in there is one's gonna 10x multiplier and there's one survive a million without dying right those are both very I remember watching you when you did that. Yeah, that seemed a little bit stress I can't see that game after about five minutes. All that shit. It's a weird zone And then anyway that one and also the one in limbo for beating the game without dying more than five times. Yeah, that's a cool. That's the one I have left on limbo.

I love 100% in games and that's, I gotta do that. That one, like I literally was on my fifth man getting to the very end of it and it was like, oh god. There's like a jumper on the hotel sign that seems like you'd be pretty bad. Yeah. The barb you want my seat? Barbs in the conjoin is, she can shoot with me. Mine would either be mile high club. Seven day survivor.

What do you have a toothbrush, but that sounds like. Or probably my best one that very few people have is I have 100% of achievements on orange box. Oh wow. Which is 99 achievements. That's crazy isn't there one that's really to know? No, Tromsky is that on there?

Yeah, we have to know all the way to the game. Yeah, all the way through half the cool achievement. It is. See that's a kind of like that's a like performance level achievements I like that I also do some replay. Yeah, yeah, I got I got all the achievements I remember and put in the portal I got 100% of the third of that of the red box, but then I never I never even Orange bottom bottom, but we're red box. We couldn't work. We did you read enough movies? They is red box in games. Yes. Yeah, okay. Yeah, and I think it's like two bucks a night for Red Box game, I think.

I believe you're correct. Okay. Two bucks a night for Red Box. I think Austin was one of the test markets, one of the first markets that they rolled that out in. And now I think they have it at all the Red Boxes. Okay, so there you go. It's fun.

It's fun to be here. Congratulations. It's funny, I just happened to prove by one of your Jordan's journal entries. Or whatever. It's like, oh, look what I got for Christmas. So you got like Portal 2. Oh, yeah. And something, what'd you have?

You get Portal 2 and something else. It was Left For Dead 2. Yeah, Left For Dead 2. I was like, look at that. That has a no-much incident in the two. It's a bit of a Christmas presence. Yeah. And those are games that I played Portal 2,

but I didn't have it like for the Xbox. And like, you know, so I could could play it whenever because it was on the computer It was on my brother's computer, so I'm gonna go on it and So I've been wanting like it for the Xbox and I got it for Christmas. Yeah, I remember looking at your own Those are legitimate and I got the millennium Falcon. Yeah, the Legos. I got socks. Yeah, that's gonna be fun I got socks. Did you really get socks? I got socks. I didn't get anything. I ain't nothing fun. You know, the older I've gotten the more I appreciate socks. Well, no, it's funny.

It's funny, it's funny. It's funny, it's funny. It's funny, it's funny. It's funny, it's funny. It's funny, it's funny. It's like when you're a kid, you get socks. Oh, the socks and then you're the older. It's like, and then the girl is like,

Oh, I love socks. It's like, I've gone past that now because it's like, I used to love socks. Yeah, like five years now I didn't evolve that's that because now I'm like a Erigan sock person, you know where it's like I gotta have the right guy exactly I gotta have like the breathable double soul whatever socks. Yeah Yeah, you're all the way didn't everything work on New Year like what we were

We're gonna be in the club She's We're gonna for years and faces like oh to be. We're going to be. We're going to be. We're going to be. We're going to be. We're going to be. We're going to be.

We're going to be. We're going to be. We're going to be. We're going to be. We're going to be. We're going to be. We're going to be. We're going to be.

We're going to be. We're going to be. We're going to be. We're going to be. We're going to be. We're going to be. We're going to be. We're going to be. We're going bunch of fake blood I've splattered on those old shoes I had. Yeah, a lot of fake blood. We played our cops yesterday, those cop characters

that always seem to get covered in blood somehow. I have a perfect, I have a perfect, I have to buy these F-ing new shoes and I have a perfect slice going through the back of my right foot or whatever. And it's terrible. I have a... The first time I took Gustav Vegas,

you seem to like Vegas the first time we went. Oh yeah, I love it. We tried to go to every casino on the strip. We just thought we're gonna hit every single one I think we did yeah We did we went up we started from the wind and we walked all the way down to What sir yeah, I think we got man. I'm at least past Did you did you we didn't walk all the way down? Did you did you gamble at each casino? Every now and then we'd stop and gamble that so basically

It's just a walk even walking took hours. You guys are fucking turning that old. That was like seven years ago. We did. It was fun. We were there for like two or three days. We weren't in our fucking rascals. We walked. Our goal is to walk.

But I had brand new shoes and that thing too. And we dug a hole right through the back. It took my hair. That's a long walk. Yeah. It's a long way to go. But you talk about dress code. We live in Austin.

And one of the things I like about Austin and alternatively hate about Austin is the fact that you can wear whatever you want, wherever you want. Like even if you want to go out to another stretcher. I think it's getting away, generally. I think it's just getting more acceptable everywhere. But people will say when you go like,

it's like where are we going to eat? It's like, oh, we're going to the steak place for the so and so's in town. And it's somebody who worked like, oh, can I go in this? And everyone else goes, oh, we're going to a steak place for the so-and-so's in town. And it's somebody who worked like, oh, can I go in this? And everyone else goes, oh, that's Austin, who cares? And I hate that. I really hate that.

There's nowhere you can go that is nice dress. You know what I mean? When I tell them they go there. Not good. Well, no, there is. There is. They're just keeping a secret from the rest of the world. It's probably a good idea.

You probably have to get L.A. places. There are not. We took Jordan out to barbecue at Lambert's the other night. You know, we all went out and I noticed that when we got there Everyone had changed out of what they were wearing at work except for me. I was the only person I was like a drag suit Yeah, it's like a gourmet barbecue place you were you were out of town Yeah, over by the city hall. I told you look upset I'm just now I'm just shocked that you went somewhere that doesn't suck

I picked it yeah, cuz you guys are all seeing good good because they are always one of like you guys always want to go out to those Effing barbecue places are out in lockhard or whatever places are awesome. Yeah great. They're not awesome Joe not awesome. I just Lambert's awesome. I just brought you lunch yesterday from a tiny little restaurant in downtown Buda and we're happy about that. I was ecstatic. Yes Joel it's Joel's favorite thing in the entire world is a piece of fried chicken What they call chicken fried chicken? For some reason, like the definition of America right to me take a chicken and chicken fry it exactly and it is covered in K so melted cheese or as

As Stalia says also guess so guess so I was in California for the break and I asked for some K so and they were like oh And then I could tell and sure enough they did there was no case. I don't know I was when I moved here. Did they melt some craft into it? Yeah, that's what they did it was terrible Anyway, well we brought Barbara in here. Hi Barbara. Hi, Barb. Hello Because I was hoping to have her start talking about community stuff because you're our community manager I am so what do you got first? What's going on in the community this week? This week we actually just started our first contest of the year,

which is a music video contest. Basically, if you want to join the contest, you just have to make a video involving anything from the season 9 soundtrack and then upload it on your video page and then submit it to the contest and we'll accept it or delete it if it sucks. I'll have a link where people can do that right now so make sure you send me a link. I will for the link them. How are the video submissions so far?

They're good. Some of them are really awesome, really funny. Most of them people have just taken footage. If you don't like it, you're gonna delete it? No, but if it doesn't fall in the rules, I'm gonna delete it. I don't think you should delete it. Well, I mean, you should not accept it. You should put archivit somewhere private somewhere archive it in the trash can Yeah, that's a bad question. Do our contest have like official rules up or anything like yeah, yeah, really we do And we're gonna list right here. I do have a list. I brought notes with me. Bernie. We get in there. No

That was it. You might have an unfair advantage I think probably one of the bigger rules is you have to be in North America So we don't end up shipping something all the way around the world Yeah, someone from I think it was Singapore asked if he could join and I was like I think one of the first time one of the first contest that brand and ran He made the mistake of not specifying that and we had to ship one of those giant brutal legend statues to One of the other idiots Now I was still young in the company. I've learned better now.

We actually, we just did a achievement hunter contest and we worked with the insert coin clothing and they're based out of England. And I was like, how about we just give you the emails, the people who win and you ship it and they're like, okay, no problem. Anywhere in the world, they get no problem. It was awesome.

So, do that all day, right? Yeah, so it was super, super easy. So, thank you, insert coin clothing. We appreciate you guys This portion of the podcast brought you by insert coin So what's what kind of shirts they have at insert coin? What would we it's all the game stuff like did you see that assassin's Creed hoodie? I had yeah, yeah, they made that that's a very It's a very popular hoodie like I've seen the things spring up everywhere. Yeah, and they have a stormtrooper one too

I see oh yeah, not that is insert coin But there is an existence a stormtrooper one anyway, Barbara, Joel cut you off. What, when does your contest end? It ends on January 31st at 11.59 p.m. Central Standard Time. And you could find the contest section on the website under the members tab. It's new. Wow. Minus 6 GMT. Does Canada have the same time zones as America? Yes, really? I know people are like you're in Canada. Where what time is it up there? And I was like It's the same time. It isn't America. Did you hear that? Did you hear that? I believe it was the island of some island of the Pacific I think it was some oh did not have a Friday last week. Yeah, yeah, they moved from one side of the international

Date line to another so they went from Thursday to Saturday. I would totally get rid of them Monday. Yeah. Why would you get rid of a Friday? I don't know if you get to choose something. It just did. Was it their decision or did the international date authority move? I think it was their decision. If I recall the article I read, they were on this side

of the date line because they wanted to be on the same side of the date line as the United States for trade purposes. But as global powers change, they decided that's not as important to them. So they switched to the side of the date line because they wanted to be on the same side of the date line as the United States for trade purposes but as global powers change they decided that's not as important to them so they switched to the side of the date line. Oh I see. I love that. Yeah Joel you think that's great. I love that. That's great. God. You know it's funny too because when you travel across the international date line which Australia when we go down there to promote DVDs it's across the international date line and once you do that one time you, your base of whole life of time is consistent.

It's like the one constant thing in your life. Once you cross the international day line, you're like, oh yeah, this is all bullshit too. It's all just made up garbage. I mean, completely. It's like in Australia, I'm on the next day, but eight hours behind you. It's stupid.

It's just completely arbitrary and dumb. When people were pointing that out, when your birthday came up, they said this. The second congratulations on your 33th year rotating around the Sun which is just makes no sense I guess I mean the second you cross the international date line they tell you San it doesn't actually exist It's just one of those things the Easter Bunny's not real. They punch you in the face right Welcome to Australia. Yeah, we're stuck it up when I was in London this last time and you guys were down in Australia I realized that I was six hours behind the office

And you all were six hours behind me like we had people spread evenly around the world Yeah, I think I think like a lot of London are perfectly apart from each other They're opposite hemisphere is both ways the sun the sun never sets on the rooster teeth empire What is if you drill right through the earth? What do you get because they would say China in the bugs of money are to kill. It depends where you are. You end up in the South Pacific, a little northwest of Australia. Yeah.

Really? Yeah. It's called the Antipode. Or Antipode, I don't know how to say it. Are we the pod? God. I have another chance. I have another chance.

It's the antipode. They are the antipode. We are the pod. I also read a weird stats, you have like how little we have drilled It's the ancient entity of the antipode. They are the antipode and we are the pod. I also read a weird stat too of like how little we have drilled into the earth. Oh yeah, yeah. It's just like, if, yeah, man, there's a lot of weird things.

I read also that if you, in ratio of their size, that the earth is smoother than a cue ball on a pool table. Really? That the variations, yeah, the variations, you know, if you take the, was it the area on his trench, and then the Mount Everest, the highest and lowest variations of the service leaders compared to the overall diameter of the earth, that it's insignificant, like,

on the same variations on a cue ball. Less than. I heard I heard it. I heard it. I heard it. I heard it. I heard it. I heard it.

I heard it. Every time I dropped the statistic, people get angry at me and they yell at me. And they tell me I'm wrong. I'm excited. Is it a stock thing? No, but here's the statistic. I mean, I heard in documentary it was about satellites. And the statistic was not counting the oceans, 95% of the earth, human eyes have not seen 95%.

That's the truth. That's the truth. That's the truth. I've heard you say it before. It's not true. I'm saying the ocean. I agree. I agree. And the ocean. You's not true. I'm Angry and the other source You're saying not including the ocean not including the ocean. I believe you

I might say how angry they are. Yeah, so angry right now You think you've seen 5% of the landmass the earth personally yet. Well, maybe probably yeah 5% I Have a globe at home. I've seen who I don't know to say I maybe maybe This could be another international date line issue where documentaries are just fucking making shit up They're just gonna say whatever the fuck they want. I mean that could be true Why not who's gonna stop who's gonna stop them? We just say whatever they want. I don't know It is weird though when you get perspective for things like that when it's like, you know We're just little guys walking on the planet. You think oh like mountaineer is huge But then in comparison to something else. It is weird though when you get perspective for things like that. When we're just little guys walking on the planet, you think, oh, like Mount Everest is huge,

but then in comparison to something else, it's this tiny little bump. I mean, I feel like I've been all over the goddamn place. I mean, especially the last 30 days, I've flew everywhere, I've seen everything. You know, and it's like, I mean, how many times have I gone from Dallas to LA, I've driven that like 10 times?

You know, and it's like, there's highway 10, and then there's highway 40, I've taken both of them. You know, and it's like, I've gone this way back four 10 times, but it's like there's highway 10 and then there's highway 40 I've taken both of them, you know, and it's like I've gone this way back four 10 times But it's like what about the space in between the 10 and the 40 there's giant chunks of land of nothing And it's just like I haven't seen any of that. You make the point You know, it's like yeah, you make it like and you look on a map and it's like well, okay I was going down highway 10. What's that blind? It's like probably a line on the map is too big to represent. It's a statistic that like 95% of it is not seen by humans at all.

Right. Because I mean, someone has been there. Yeah, somebody. I don't know. I mean, that's the helicopter pilot alone with this, yeah. Just looking down. I don't know. I mean, you like to do. You talk about the islands, but there's still people living on those islands. Let's put it in perspective too.

I mean, think about how many times there's been search parties. I mean, sent out where they look for stuff or fighting fires I mean you that they're like people who go into national parks. It's like we they're the dad Yeah, you're think you've never found people who got lost and died. They saw it Astronauts have seen everything that's true. Oh I guess it's like They've only seen 50% of it. Well, I guess rotation, I don't know. They

they don't orbit or anything. So we're just one of the weirdest things I ever had for a perspective ever was I think I was flying from New York to Seattle and I guess they just go straight. So that takes you way over North Canada. So we were you know just like because the globe is round you know it looks in a map like you just go west but you just I know it's spherical here we go.

What? What? What? So we ended up going like way over North Canada to do that trip and it was like just ice tundra everyone. I was going to freak out by that like being over that and I was looking down. That's because that wolf movie you saw. No, this was this was a way before it. This was alive.

So you know when you're in a plane and you're at 35,000 feet your crew's along you're looking at the horizon You know out the side and you're just like Going along right right so I just had to be looking out the window and looking down and I guess maybe Two or three thousand feet below us another 747 going the opposite direction path. I've never seen that before if we pass each other going the opposite direction Motherfucker we were going this way. They're going this way. That thing went by so goddamn fast. I thought it was a UFO at first. I mean, it's like, you don't realize how fast you're moving up it there. Yeah. Plus, you're moving and it's moving the opposite direction at solid the

same speed. So it doubles it. It like, I don't know if you remember, there was those two planes that collided mid-air over Brazil. We talked about it. Yeah. It's right where it's like, as soon as they're like, is that, and it's over? Yeah, it's like, they talk about the closing speed. It was a 737 that hit a brand new Embraer, I believe. And they said that the reaction time was like less than a second. Like you would see the spec, and then it's gone.

Yeah, you passed so fast. Yeah, it's funny. They talk about this. They say the hardest thing to do in national defenses, like hitting a rocket with another rocket. Like the math that takes it is almost impossible. Like you have lost a statistical lottery when you're in an airplane and you hit another airplane.

What the fuck? I mean, impossible. Yeah, it's like, I'm late, old, Republican lately. And when you do the taxis, you get one of those cars that flies through and you're on a track, yeah. Coruscant, and it flies, and you see all the other cars flying around. Even though everything's on a track, yeah. Coruscant, you know, and it flies and like you see all the other cars flying around.

Even though everything's not a track and it's a video game, you're like, this would never fucking work. You know, driving in the sky, it just would never work. What's that thing? Did you guys see this thing on Reddit? Where everyone's, it was also on,

I can't remember what it was also on, the thing with the floating track. Yeah, the wipeout, I mean, the quantum limitation thing. Yeah, that's fake. I came out of this fake. See, that's only bought into it. That was so fake. See, that was so fake to me the second I saw it,

I was like, who possibly is going to buy this? No, you've seen the quantum limitation thing, right, before. I have seen that. Yeah, I have ceramic disks. Yeah, you make something super cool and then like an electromagnetic will actually make it float. And you can lock it in place. That is real.

OK. And so maybe that's why. So this video came out where it was essentially someone took that concept and applied it to like a wipe out Excel track. So they made like these little wipe out figures. Yeah, couldn't you tell us just why the wipe out? White Wipeout's an old racing game was on like the

Genesis I think or PlayStation or something like that. Oh, okay. So they made this track where like essentially it was like a wipe out car that was driving and like going, you know, 90 degrees. Before they even show you the cars. Before they even show you the cars before they even show you the cars they got that goofy music going Anytime you hear the music That's fake it's not real and it's like they got they got the guy in the white lamp coat

It's not real and it's like they got they got the guy in the white lab coat with the globe It's like fucking me fucking right The racist award for this Why don't you sing the Tetris theme song No one was anybody's uncle in every You might be surprised you might have been some uncle Probably some of them so ridiculous Probably some other so ridiculous. It's like white lab coat and the rubber glow. What the fuck?

What the fuck is this? I love things stuff like that. Like we talked about one time before, the guy who, and I saw it when I was a kid and I was one of the people who fell for it, the guy from the back to the future, two special, everyone fell for that. Who casually mentioned that the hoverboards were real. Executed on that perfectly.

He just threw it in, and it's like a side note. You're like, wait, what? And it's like, yeah, and it's like, and they, yeah. They didn't, they didn't do anything special to make the hoverboards and back for you because Mattel has them, but parents could just keep them off the market. So we just got Mattel to give us a couple prototypes. And all the kids are like, what? Everyone locked on with that, like, talk more about that. Yeah, he's gone.

He's gone. And for years, I would talk to people, like, yeah, those things really, this is like. I saw an interview with that guy like five years after the fact and he was like god damn I really I hadn't said that because it was before the internet like no one could verify you couldn't research more it was like no and it's still got out there that every every every new a guy who's who's cousin had one you have to self-addressed stamped envelope to Mattel and hope for a reply I mean it's like you think about childhood it's like childhood it's so magical It's like childhood. It's so magical.

Well, the reason why childhood is so magical is because you're a fucking idiot. You're not even. You don't know anything. Yeah, everything's new. Yeah, it's just like this could be this could be nothing. Nothing is nothing could be. I'm still like that. New Canadian. Yeah. Is there anything else in your community? What else we got going? I feel like we keep derailing you. Well, I could list the prizes. We had it prizes we had we're still talking about the first that we want

we had that other uh don't we have that other community contest where you're supposed to make your own track with floating cars that was my interpretation did you guys mention the iwtv awards yet no I would like to talk about that I briefly said I would be going back to Vegas to attend the IAWTV Awards, but Barb, once you go ahead. Yeah, we are nominated for a few awards of the IAWTV, which is the International Academy of Web Television. I remember that.

Yeah, yes, clap, clap, good job. Which I am a proud member. For immersion and red versus blue, it's on January 12th and it's going to be streamed live on YouTube. YouTube.com slash I a W TV O R G. Oh, they're going to stream it. Yeah. I'm going to get fucked up. Is there going to be a dinner or is it just like five seconds delay? Is there a bar? There's a pre reception which they have now filled. Everybody's going to see Gus's penis. They saw they they had tickets available but then they saw Joel shoes and said no.

So what time is it? It's at 9 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. So 8 p.m. Central Standard Time. Negative 6GNT. Yes. That's next Friday or next Saturday. It's I think on Thursday. It's a 12th of January. 12th. Times zones are a major problem. And you'll it's you've said times two different times in this podcast. Yeah. You're gonna learn that. It's that people. These said times two different times in this podcast. Yeah. You're going to learn that. He said, but these are the two things humanity needs to fix. Time zones and phonetics. Phenetics. We need to just institute phonetics and everyone drop their own language.

We're all going to be in the phonetics. Esperanto. Yeah. All right. What else? So do you think that do you think the US system should adopt metric system? Yes. Yeah. I mean, I'm not biased. I agree. I think we should have the US system should adopt a metric system? Yes. Yeah, I mean, I'm not biased. I agree.

I think we should have the metric system here. You know what's weird about American money? Although everyone needs to pick up Fahrenheit and drop Celsius. No. I agree. Absolutely. No way. Zero is freezing.

100 is boiling. How fucking easy is that? But why does it matter? That's why you need that. See, how often you boiling water is it's Temperature relates to you as far as like temperature outside to your body You don't give a shit once it's above 106 Celsius because you're dead. Yeah, right?

On the human on humans Celsius is based on water. What what are you? Are you water? Are you human? I'm mostly water She's a water human. Yeah, you're an idiot. That's what you are By Jack just looks like a fifth-year-pound wake up put on his shoulders So angry today, let's talk more about how fun Vegas was. Speaking of 160 degrees, it was 160 degrees of Vegas. But no, so like, here's Celsius. So what is your body temperature in Celsius? I think it's like 36. 36, okay.

Like, let's just say 40 is like a really super, super hot day all all the time. So what's between 40 degrees and 100 degrees Celsius? You don't go outside. Anything. Like give me like what is 70 degrees Celsius? Anything that would be 70 degrees. What's that what would that mean? I mean this time to put the turkey in the oven. Yeah.

Like 70 degrees Celsius. Have you ever used 70 degrees Celsius ever? No. So you have this range of temperatures And you only use really zero through 40 maybe in a hundred maybe this maybe the scientists That's what's weird about you. You're Kelvin. Don't they? I don't know. Yeah, scientists use Kelvin I mean depends on who yes, but I mean they don't use Fahrenheit and can almost guarantee see that's the If we if we change any of these systems like what happens to the productivity of like United States?

Like in other words, like I remember when I the first time I looked at the keyboard, it's like why did they arrange a keyboard in this manner? Like what? Like why are the letters in this word? You should use the word why, right? No, why? Because old type riders would get jammed up if you typed too fast. Okay, so they had to make a layout that slowed down your ability to type.

Right. Which is what I'm gonna say for like 10 minutes. It's worthless. Yeah, which is stupid now. So it's like, but it's like, if we stopped and rearranged the keyboard in a more, you know, I don't know what it is. I get a pretty arbitrary.

There's another common layout called the Vorak, which essentially puts the most used keys on your home row. And so some people do use that keyboard. I had a teacher in high school. I had a teacher in high school, a computer science teacher. The Vorak system? The Vorak. The Vorak.

The Vorak. The Vorak. They should change it. Is that dude still live like I hear about a Devorak all the time? Is that the guy? I think Captain Card found him in season five. There's somewhere in the Devorak system. I want to go back for just one second talk about silly.

It was like urban legend as kids that we didn't know if it existed or not. I remember we had to mail away to get the Boba Fett action figure. Oh right. And there was always the myth that there was the Boba Fett that fired a missile off his back. Yes. Oh my God. It's so funny. Like you're on the other side of the, you're like, we didn't know it, you know. It's like the same fucking things. It's in here, I just looked it up. There's an urban legend that it exists.

And it's like people still to this day, collectors argue that no one has one, but they argue it definitely exists. That there is a boba fit actually figure that has lost the time. We had a funer childhood then funer. What funer? Funer-er. Then they'll have.

It's like we had magic, man. We had missiles that may or may not have shot off with boba fits back. And shot in your mouth and choke you Yeah, that's why that yeah, some idiot no hi on the choke himself and then now nobody could have the But with that which fires a missile for real. What else you got Barbara? That's it. Okay, that's it 70 cells uses 158 fair and high by the way Never gonna use that one. What do you use 158? That's lights out at our 100 range. Our zero to 100 ranges are useful range.

Our one are zero to 40. The ultimate skill. And it gives us more precision within, you know, within the range. Like the range. There's a bigger gap between 39 and 40 than there is between 39 and 30. In Celsius then in Fahrenheit. Like if I say 72 degrees in the room, it's like, well, let's take it down to 70. You're like 35 to 34.

That's like a four degree jump for us. You know what I mean? It's like, it's like, it's not as precise. I'm totally on board of metric, but I got to say 34, that's like a four degree jump for us. You know what I mean? It's like, it's not as precise. I'm totally on board of metric, but I gotta say I think Fahrenheit's a little better for day to day human life. I think, you know what? I think you guys have nailed it.

I think you put this argument to wrap. We always said that. I mean, no, this has been brought up before in the podcast. I think when Gavin was over here, someone like the other argument that you can make about Fahrenheit is that is your 100 is the livable, survivable range temperature is the only reason we bring those here to be five people who are not Americans so we can bring them to the company so we can yell at them. You can live a different degree Fahrenheit. No, you can but you got to watch out. You

could die over a hundred degrees. You can live as well. It was minus the minus 17 Fahrenheit in the city I'm from the other day. The windshield. So you could die from that. Now, windshield's bullshit. windshield is bullshit. That's not a story. Like, we routinely get over 100 degrees here, but that's suddenly in the range where, okay, we gotta be careful. We could die.

Yeah, like people die when it gets over 100 degrees. Yeah, and so. People die. We don't have old people in Canada. We don't have to care. We don't have to care. We don't have to water boils over 100 degrees. That's weird.

Social health care Canada. They just dissolve them at seven, and they turn them into food. That's what Poutine is. It's like some perverted Logan's run. The person who goes off and next thing you know, you're over at Batka Fry's. It was right around 1960 with Tim Horton's coffee.

I got really good on this. They never explained what the secret was. I'm so angry. Is this a thing that plagued with the back important because it looks like he's just hanging on. Yeah, it's a USB. Don't touch it. It is very important. Don't touch it.

It's still working. We're recording. Okay. Well, thanks for joining us Barbara. No problem. Thank you Barbara. Thank you Barbara. We look forward to future updates from you.

All right. When will people be able to see these entries at all before the part? It's probably not. They would be unfair. No, they're in the gallery. I mean, that's totally fair. Yeah. Good idea. It's part of the official rules.

Thanks Barbara. Thank you, Barbara. You're welcome. What? Barbara, let's do a chair out the window. So we had dinner last night at Mighty Fine. I'm really sorry I couldn't come, but you're not that. No, I really am sorry.

You're 30th birthday, I'm really sorry. I would like to go out with you this weekend. So Joe and Homelas night, and you decided to rush me off. You know what? I was on a fucking airplane. Like I had to make train. I had to stop in Dallas. And it's just like, I get a text message from Jack.

It's like, as soon as you're playing land Midnight, headed to this bar. And it's like, okay, I guess this is a birthday or whatever. But it's like, I can't get into one of these cycles. I'm happy that it's your birthday. I want to celebrate your birthday's like I can't get into one of these cycles. I'm happy that it's your birthday. I want to celebrate your birthday, but I can't get into one of these cycles where we celebrate your birthday nine times. This twice. Okay, well, what's in midnight?

Because I don't want to go home. I don't want to be out of the door. I don't want to be to Friday or Saturday and then we'll celebrate. All right, all right, I'll do something. I would like to go out with you this weekend and celebrate. Okay, I really am sorry. I could not go out last night. So we, you said, You said Saturday a little bit of

Selling my mind. He's not like it's okay. I need to take you fine. He's secret he's angry Maybe it's not okay. Whatever. That's fine. All right, so what happened? Okay, so we went to my final last night And so Jordan I started talking and So so Jordan's telling me we're talking about rooster I wasn't talking to you. He looks worried You're very worried. So this is in this is a story like we started talking and Jordan is like Jordan's like like he brought up the stories like oh you can't talk about it So I know you have to tell the story on the podcast. I don't think so tell stories

So you remember when the whole Kono brine debate went down? Yeah, and like Bernie You were very anti-Kono brine. You're saying fuck that guy for leaving the network. No blah. Let's not get in Okay Bernie, you were very anti-Colonel Brian. You were saying, fuck that guy for leaving the network. No, blah, blah. Let's not get into it. OK. So I was so sensitive about colonel Brian. OK. And as far as you're called, what I said was that people were making a big hub about to do.

OK. Internet hub. Internet hub, but I knew nothing. OK, so there was a fan on the site who basically he said something to you in a comment and you shredded the guy in the podcast. Do you remember doing that? Yeah. Yeah, so you brought it up on the podcast. Do you remember doing that? Yeah. Yeah, so you brought it up on the podcast.

Oh, I'm just going to get one out. Yeah, and so you brought it up on the podcast. I said, this guy is wrong and called him out by name. And so people went on to his page. It started crashing the guy. Oh, my God. Oh, no. So, that guy's in this room right now.

Are you serious? Are you serious? Yeah, you don't remember that dude. No, so it was you. It was you. Just another nameless victim. More fire for the can. No, I had totally remembered that. Yes, so apparently that guy was Jordan and you got you just totally ripped into them.

That's awesome. And then what six months later you made the first animated event. Yeah, Jordan Jordan. Jordan absolutely did not let me just say this by the way. Just a maccom. You're in the room with him. You just fight really fight fight So what podcast was that?

Because people always request it for animated adventures. It's like yeah number 45 that one thing Anyone else at you there it is so rich TV Podcasts worked up about late night television. It's an only dip right there. You're damn supposed to try to do the whole stuff. You're still clicking. No, no, no. So anyway. Well, I apologize. It was too years ago.

I tried to open the door. I closed it. You took the iPad from me. It was like gross. By the way, Jordan Bernie is also also not gonna go to your birthday party That is true I thought that was brilliant and that was six months later you made the first anime to venture now your best to some friends with us But yeah, anyway, so so obviously Bernie hated you

That people pile on on the site or whatever That mob mentality you're talking about last night people should not fucking jack It's raining to work for you For liking Conan well the I'm not sure I want people I don't know that's right people on our site attacking other people on our site Yeah, you know, I think so maybe this is a library employee like maybe he's gonna kill you Yeah, this is whole thing RTA you can like slowly whittle away at my personality, you know my image I think the lesson here in the long run is that we were right Tell listen so come in a bride move over to TV. Yes. Does anybody in this room watch Conan a bride?

You were one of the people was like oh fucking Barbara was one of the people too. It's too bad. She wasn't I do be art I wish I ever known then do you yeah, I got a Conan on a regular basis. Yeah I actually think Barbara does too So I'm a huge come on. I really like person or whatever and it's like I remember having a conversation with her and it's like I I feel like at one point she was like oh, I'm in Canada. We don't have Conan It's one of those things where the internet can make something seem Extraordinarily relevant for a short period of time like the Conan thing seemed like the most important new story in the world when it

was going on like people were like going on they were they were later we're still talking about it I don't know how's it doing over there does anybody know I don't know I was really into it I heard it was doing. I heard the cancel that George Lopez show. After he moved to show an hour to accommodate coding. Yeah. And then they came out. Wow. Well, also I heard, and this is only rumor. I heard that George Lopez isn't funny. I heard that too. I mean, I heard that. You stole that joke from every other community. I might have stole that joke from Carlos Masea. Yeah, there you go. I heard that's what it is. I'm not sure if that joke from every other community. You can't even move. You stole that joke from Carlos Minceia.

I heard that's what it is. I'm not sure if that's true. Like he takes jokes from other. I think it's my Carlos Minceia. And then it's Carlos Minceia. You're nothing about George Lopez. You're being racist actually. Yeah.

No, I just don't pay attention. Well, they're all Canadian. Yeah, exactly. They'll be melted into poopy poopy poopy poopy. They're Japanese scientists. Well, George, we can gloss over some. Did you say you actually go to watchcowning? Yeah, yeah. Actually, it's in the the audience because you're being a you're Los Angeles

Oh, I thought you meant when you went to website. Yeah, I didn't think you're in California. Yeah, I go to the show I've been to like four tapings. Nice. Can I take you something? I've never been bend to see a single video show be taped except for Conan O'Brien. There you go. Yeah, you have yeah I went with Matt one time we were in LA. We went to go watch a show be tape. It's always better live, right? You know what? I'm gonna take that back. I wasn't counting the brine. Ah This Craig Wilson Craig kill board. Oh I totally take that back. Yeah when he had that Comedians are all you know, you know, I used to watch Craig Killborn and Carl ravage on ESPN all the time

I I I So didn't for that scotch guy Craig got what's face? Ferguson. Yeah, I said it from one time. I'm way taller than that. That makes it sound like you hosted a show when you said it that way Not at all. Yeah, no No, I'm not the guy who's on the Drew Carey show for a while right? Correct. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is his own late night show. I went and saw him in a concert down at the Paramount Or you know funny Dude, he's a funny dude. What does he play? What's that? What does he play a midget apparently? He had like a half dressed midget there with him dancing around

It was pretty interesting. He's like kid rock with Josie. Hey, you ever watch the prank Ferguson show? Wow Yeah, that's a reference. There's no like he is wacky as hell. Yeah, he does a whole thing with a sock puppet all the time This is a robot sidekick. Yeah, he's got a robot with a sock puppet all the time. I love the time. I love the time. Yeah, he's got a robot that's a skeleton. Name Jeff. Spell-lover Jeff. Yeah. I've never seen this show.

I've never seen this show. I've never seen this show. I've never seen this show. I've never seen this show. I've never seen this show. I've never seen this show. I've never seen this show. I've never seen this show.

I've never seen this show. I've never seen this show. I've never seen this show. I've never seen this show. I've never seen this show. I've never seen this show. I've never seen this show. I've never seen this show. I've never funniest things ever. I'll send you the clip. Did you see the, I'm sorry. No, he does like a, he does like a 20 to 30 minute monologue every night. And he does this thing where he's like right up next to the camera. And he even has like a bar on the front of the camera that he'll lean on like it's like a thing

where he grabs the front of the camera when he's talking, lean on it. And it's almost like talking to somebody to bar like they get like that close to you like lean in and all that. He's funny. Shit. Does it get really drunk to he's he's calling people? I think he has a history of being a drunk and he's like a recovering guy and he talks about that stuff a lot But they do stuff like they'll do like lip dub stuff every now and then like puppets where like they'll start like those start playing a song And then like these puppets are coming to start singing with recovering guys are never as funny as when they're that's not true That's what I'm gonna say is that that's different about him is that he's a one guy He's the other yeah that he's the one guy who's funny or

other yeah he kept the personality man he's funny I would I would highly recommend you watch anything on late night TV Craig Ferguson show is the standout my opinion the only thing I've seen I've seen a Conan Orion out of the last like year that was funny to me was when they brought that the triumph dog under the Wall Street occupy Wall Street people like that five minutes ago I haven't seen that God that, that thing will, that is fucking hysterical. I don't laugh at it. I'm trying to study. You know, I mean, yeah. There's a Robert Schmeigel. Yeah. We forgot, I told Brian about this yesterday, we forgot a video that we should have talked

about for Internet video of the year. Yeah. We've never got a couple. I'm ashamed to say. We always forget. We don't that. We forgot the report to who had a stroke live on air was that last year I believe it was huh reported that was right that's like the woman she We also forgot we also forgot the dog the talks and the owners like teasing the dog and telling him he made him a treat. Oh yeah, you know that was you

and I really liked the other one of that which the cat the cat was a bad mistake. Yeah, I can't that's gone. What do you mean it's gone? It's gone. It's not on YouTube anymore. Really? Yeah. The whole mouth. Yeah, that video is gone. The reporter that has a... Starrison, let's go ahead, Tara's chasing us for a bit, we'll have a pet. I'm sorry. Okay, to me, the reason why that may not, if we have an argument, why that's not a legitimate candidate is because I saw that play it a lot, but it was on TV a lot, and it sort of, I don't know, it did lost its internet. No. It's in a rigid auntie, but I think it really gamed its legs on the internet. a lot and it's sort of I don't know it did lost its internet no it's

originally on TV but I think it really gained its legs on the internet but if they say she was like having a stroke and I remember them I remember them with no side effects I didn't require a hospital stay yeah yeah wink yeah and in the end and I remember they had follow-up stories on TV about it what it was like so I heard about it on TV yeah if anybody can find that cat is a bad mystic video, I'm sure that's gone. I think that's so many views. Yeah, it's just down. It's on that guy,

Clot 2's channel. So the cat apparently maybe was not a... If you look in search, cat was a fake. The cat's like Rebecca Black now. If you look in search, it auto completes. The cat is a bad mystic, but then the video is just non-existent. It was a cat in a, like a cat carrier in a garden, and it was like a, playing like a telepathic mystic But it was very bad of it. Yeah, mouth

Sweet Funny video, but it's gone and that was I think done by the same guy who did the talking dog Yeah, the ultimate dog cheese which by the way has 72 million views That was like it was the number two video on YouTube for last year I think behind Friday Wow funny funny video Yeah, they released like that top 10 YouTube videos Why would you get the why would amin pull while we're going back by the way on on awards that we just gave out from 2011 Have you seen money ball Joe? Yes, okay money balls fantastic money balls are very good. I talked about it We talked about yeah, yeah, I don't I don't think it's I don't think it's movie the year

Yeah, it's pretty good. I thought it was a good movie that Brad Pitt is a good looking dude. I'm gonna say that Yeah, how was he now? I he's getting up there 50 I think he's close to 50 here really Yeah, wow, I would think so how does he when they made a fight club? That was about what's any years ago? That was what 99? So it was like 13 years ago. I'm looking up right now. Wow. Thank you, guys. This hell is Brad Pitt. I'm going to guess he turns 50 this year. I'm going to say he's 49. 45. I'm going to shoot me younger. Brad Pitt was born in 1963. He turns 49 this year. 49 this year. All right.

Wait a minute though. So he's 48 right now. So five clips him out. It's the first thing when the late years ago he was 35. Brad Pitt looks better at 49 than I did or will ever look at any age. He started to look just like freaking rob a redford man. Yeah, he is. Yeah, he is. Yeah, he really is. And it doesn't help that he's making baseball movies.

No, he's he's stepped right in there. He's really just gonna start that film festival in Utah. Yeah, it's gonna be all over. That's coming up by the way. Sundance is at the end of this month. Oh, right. Yeah, I think Nathan got another film into Sundance. He's like. He's like in the system now. He's like seven of eight years. He said something Sundance and the one year that he didn't just because he didn't submit something that year. Wow. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty pretty incredible. Yeah, he's got going on. He should get like a super role ring for each year. A super role ring? What's a super role ring free cheer super role ring super role ring

Is that like you go to the bakery and you're 50 different croissants? Like you must bring us one syllable guesses on you Just like a stroke Hey, to change event I can recall exactly almost exactly what you said at the other Dirt we like transcribed it at one point I remember got that poor woman. I feel so bad for her I feel bad for because it's like if you know, I wonder if she's out of a job No, she did interviews afterwards. I mean she's like a local reporter So it's like if you know I wonder if she's out of a job. No, she did interviews afterwards.

I mean, she's like a local reporter. So it's like the thing. LA though. And we thought we found other people too that the other instances of that. Like anchors were just all of a sudden, they just went into gibberish mode. There was a word it was called dysphagia,

if I recall correctly. I think you're right. Yeah. It's just something that happens in the brain every now and then where it's like, you can't talk. Did you see the video recently of the the Ankerman and he was just reading off the the train or reading off the Teleprompter and someone slipped in the line. I love lamp and he just read it Caught himself after you read it was like oh god

Like someone is messing with them. So he got in here anchor man. Yeah, we should bring we should bring teleprompters in podcasts The disfasia or a phasia. I would like to write Jack's teleprompter A phagia, I guess. Don't number one, I smell. Do you know that in high school, I was a state champion in medical terminology? That's a spin. Yeah, I was in a state champion.

I'm not a terminal. I'm a terminal. Okay, medical terminal. Okay, so what is the term for? I have muscle pain, but only my toes. Oh gosh, it would be my I don't have anything my that's a pain only to toe I mean, it's all just like Latin Greek elements elements So they'd be my oh would be in there and then it's all bullshit. You I'm crossing across the international

Dateline right now as you talk crossing international date line right now. As you talk to me. So, in his debate, he went to high school like in the old West. That is true. I actually took all my high school courses last. So it was easy for me to qualify. He took his courses from a guy who's anesthetic

with like a scrap of leather and like a shot of whiskey. Yeah, but then we give us like words like that like the like in disfasia. Is there a what it meant? Is there like a term for like hair hurting first? Hair, hair. Aphasia versus dysphasia is would that be like trick? Oh like there's I think hair is trick Oh, right? So you heard the thing where people pull her hair out and eat it. You heard about that? No, yeah

That's a thing people are how I think if chick a feel you have you ever heard of that show? It's like I'm one of those cable networks my strange addiction Oh, yeah, it's like they have this one episode where this woman his woman's husband had died and got cremated and her addiction was she couldn't stop eating zash's. Wow. So like the whole episode she's like eating zash's, she's crying, she's like, because she's like, I know I'm gonna run out of it. I know. Yeah, just trick aphasia. So phasia ph ph ph ph is to eat right? So and trickle's hair. So it's your hair. Compulsive is, F-F-A-G-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F- And so it's just it's just a little root on itself and then you can look up on other people who like to like pick their toenails and eat those Sure, what is that called? I know what toenails would be gross Yeah, you keep going back to toes

I'm thinking of gross body parts that being the Dirty I don't talk about scrotums. Yeah, but you can look up images done like Google image search of People who have had to have these Matt hair masses removed from their stomach and can be massive like four pound hair balls because they eat their own hair. That's disgusting. Yeah, it's usually women have with long hair and then they put their hair in the mouth and eat it.

Have you seen, I don't know that. I mean, I mean, I mean, digest like the swallowing is different than saying something about, I mean, tell me more about sticking stuff in your mouth and that's why I was there a term. Tell me more about this term for that. It's theaters versus swalers. I usually find the difference is about $50.

There's a copy table book that came out last month called Stuck Up. It's just a collection of x-ray images of various things people have stuck up their ass. Yeah. I've seen you make the rounds every now and then, like light bulbs. Or Buzz Light bulbs, aren't you? Buzz Light.

Buzz Light. Buzz Light, you with this wings extended. How's the best one yeah there's a I saw a great photoshop of that someone put that image input I've got a friend in me I thought was one of the greatest thing oh guys I just have a funny comic idea that I was gonna talk to Luke about just as it was a one- comic idea, which is the toy story guys and they're all like, sit there talking and talking to each other and like, oh, someone's coming and

they all like fall down and that like dead like that dead inanimate pose. It's like, you know, hide until they're gone and then everybody goes down and the guy that comes in is like a security guy, an ADT security guy, and he installs a camera in the room like a security camera, and then the last like 20 panels is just sitting there. They're sure I have to do that in an anime hell forever. This ability here comes up when he's not back. What would happen if they got a baby mother in that room? That's a joy to be flawless.

See, that would have made a great third plot point in the movie. That's it movie. That's a movie. The audience just sits there for the next hour. You just wrote Toy Story 4. Maybe really cheap to animate too. They're done, right? Toy Story's got to be done. Way to close that story. Well, they did not. Well, I heard the ring in the Harrison Ford. There's something about an alien skull.

Somebody's wrecked him in an X-ray. It's a bunch of lighter kisses. This is MD. So, going back here, you're just medicating. You're just going to be a little bit more patient. I'm just going to be a little bit more patient. I'm just going to be a little bit more patient. I'm just going to be a little bit more patient. I'm just going to be a little bit more patient. I'm just going to be a little bit more patient. I'm just going to be a little bit more patient. I'm just going to be a little bit more patient. Somebody's wrecked him in an X-ray. It's like your kids is this is MD.

So going back to your medical contesting, like was it like a high school competition? How would you compete with a, what is it, it was like you sat in front of a room of people? Medical terminology. Medical terminology. What's the terminology for this? Or would they give you terms and you have to define them? Yeah, would you, they tell you stuff and then you have to give the term. Well they give give us the roots and then we can tell what the root meant like he said hair and I said trick Oh, I just knew that one just because I can't believe I recall that after all these years, but

Or they give us a word they said what does this mean? You know like like like like they said, you know Trick-a-face you how many how many people were in this contest? Oh, it was so I in high school I was part of something called the health occupations students of Americans. Oh, it was so I in high school I was part of something called the health occupations students of America's host. Hmm. So about that. Yeah, I'm sorry. Health occupations was students of America.

So you were walking in a hallway in a high school one day and you saw a flyer that said, health occupations. Dude, I was on a bad path, like through almost all the way through college. I was pretty good in college. I mean, I wrote to say, I mean in high school I was like, I am not participating in anything. Anything ever? Yeah. Yeah, I was on a path, I was gonna be a doctor,

that was where I wanted to be the entire time. But you'll appreciate this. So when I was a senior, I took my health rotation. So my entire senior year, three periods I had, where I would go to the hospital, I'd go to the Southwest Memorial Hospital, and I would do clinical rotations there. Three, half the day of my high school,

my senior year, I was gone. I was out of the high school. I was at the hospital. Was there any point in your life where it was like, like for me, it's like, ooh gross, I don't wanna be around that. But it's like if you're a medical person, it's sort of like, well, I'm gonna choose to be around that.

No, you nailed it. I mean, that's why I, first of all, the internet kind of came out of nowhere in the late 90s, and that really changed everything for me, and I got involved with that. And I enjoyed that a lot more. When I went to college, I didn't even think you could make a living in computers. I didn't think that was a real thing. I thought it was just like a hobby that you did. And you know, I did clinical rotations, and I did rotations in the emergency room, and

I just realized, as weird as it sounds, I like people too much to constantly watch them in pain. Yeah, I like that I mean, that's it's funny because I've noticed a lot about a lot of medical Personnel. It's like I feel like you know, it's like you're just a slab of they just don't care I mean, it's like I guess you have to get to that point if you're Yeah, what's your theme? Well, it's light you're up someone's ass. That's it Like people are no longer people It's like yeah, with these fucking animals. How are they gonna hurt themselves now? How am I gonna fix this asshole? So he's gonna go it's the

You know, I did I mean I could I wait what I don't end the podcast on a down note or anything like that But I mean I did a rotation in a pediatric oncology lab and it was just like I did rotations like clinical pathology which is basically like when they take something out of you that's where it goes so they dissect it and try to figure out what it is that stuff was not interesting enough I mean and then I did emergency room rotations that was that was it for me I was done with that I you know what's funny is I I also was interested in medical field when I was younger and I spent some time at Ben Todd in Houston that is the trauma center in Houston.

Yeah, and I remember the first time I walked through there, they gave us a tour of the place. A new set group of like 15 of us because we were in treats to medical program. And we entered the morgue and I could see people, like that was it. Their medical career ended there. Like, there were people dead of, you know, cirrhosis of the liver. They'd explain like this person died of cirrhosis. The liver you can see the external features here. Let's pull out the liver. And they like open a giant drawer like here, therhosis of the liver, then they're explained, like this person died of cirrhosis of the liver, you can see the external features here, let's pull out the

livers and they're like open to giant drawer, like here the good livers, here the bad livers, and people, like, just lost, people started leaving the room and throwing up. Didn't leave any mark on you, because you're straight, like, you're fucking. You're like, I want my liver to look like that. But the most interesting thing about that room to me was, it like our studio, they had giant electrical cords, you could pull from the ceiling down, and students ask you know why electrical cords up there like oh whenever we need the you know the the hand saw to be able to cut someone's limb off or something out we have to have a power point all over the place to play our

tools in and it was like half the room just left it's like that's it they were done yeah I've watched the I've watched surgeries like I watched just a normal surgery a lot of people have which is like a bypass people have later like heart you know bypass um which is just a bypass. People have later like the heart, you know, bypass. Which is just they just take basically a vein from your leg, a vessel from your leg. And they just bypass apart, that's clogged up on your heart.

Outside of the heart, it's not open heart surgery. Right. And I've watched that and it's just like, TNTV, you see like the, like it's all quiet in there, like you need to do that. Dude, it's not like that. It's almost like working on a car. It's like, those surgeons have to be in great shape because they're like they're doing hard hard Working that's just it's again

It's like you get to the point in life where it's like ah everybody's just people and nobody knows what the fuck they're doing You know just some extent and it's sort of like that's true with everything And it's also like the other thing about being in the medical profession is like well at some point you're gonna have to make a decision or whatever and that shit has real consequences. Yes. And that's fucking, that's fucked up. And you almost have to chalk it up to your learning as you go. Right.

And it's almost like I guess that's why they kind of have to be just utterly dispassion about it because they are gonna fuck up. It's a little joke. That's what people do is they fuck up. We had this Jack knows a guy and we talked. They're really conversation. We had that thing. It's like, oh, we made a mistake because he was already

medicated, but we didn't know that he's medicated. So we re-medicated him. And that almost killed him. You know, whoops. You know, it's like an in like some, we had to actually pull out all of his teeth or something like that because we're probably mounted bad teeth. It's like, I mean, this is the cure. There's no saying it's a state that's why they call it practicing medicine

Yeah, you never you never get fully first in it wasn't there a celebrity who had an issue with their kid like was it was a Dennis quaid Whose kid was given like some injection right someone read the decimal point? You know what you know, and they gave the kid like you know And that's that's the thing when a thing happens to a celebrity. We are all gonna fucking hear about it Yeah, I mean very Jimmy McCarthy. No, who's this guy from Dana Carvey. Oh, yeah, Dana Carvey had a thing that's derailed his career for like 10 years supposedly what happened How's it gonna hurt surgery where they botched it? Yeah, he like they did something a little bit wrong and just fucked him

Yeah, that's why Dana Carvey disappeared for a little while. I did not know that. Oh, yeah, yeah That was also dealing with the Joe Piscopo who no one probably remembers I remember he had a thing where it was like well, I have to sing I'm not gonna live Less left SNL that's what happened to go Piscopo. No, no, he had a medical He had I thought he had a medical thing where it's like he was he was really sick and was gonna die or whatever And it was like it was like was it a long time ago. This is like when you I mean, but I don't know it was like I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what you're talking about You know I'm not joking. I know Joe Piscopo

He went on this thing where he was on steroids for a long time and they got off the steroids And we got really big and really small it was like a weird mini Lyleaux alzato event or something I was gonna ask if you were confusing with Lyle No, no, it's a reason that you're weird. I don't know who that is. Lyle alzato was a I Want to say a linebacker for the Raiders, right? And he took every drug and steroid in the world was a show with What's the girl from who's the boss? Where's your punky Brewster or something like that? Who's the girl from who's the boss where's your punky Brewster or something like that? Who's the hot chick? She was on who's the boss and she was on charmed oh

Shannon no Yeah, her listen a lot. I thought he was on something with her I think you're thinking of another NFL guy or I think Lyle I mean if you look at a picture compared to pictures of like Lyle Losella when he was at the prime of his career pro bowl player to before he died it was like it's two different people. It's like he like he became the poster child for why you don't do steroids. Got a brain cancer at 43. Wow. And he really is a reason. He really is the single reason why like steroids are like viewed so negatively because he went crazy and like in fact then steroids were just like you know

80 steroids were like, you know, yeah, I must be confused I seem to have any kind of real significant Television career. No, no, I think of it some other there was a guy that looked like at Lyle's He didn't flayed me in a fell and like kind of had the same air but it wasn't Captain Lou Elbano We're gonna go with this guy. It's like for this guy. It's right about forth of somebody. Yeah, maybe somebody like that. I don't know. So, but how would you know who Lyle LZ to what then? Was this from his football career?

I don't know what to say. It was his main. I only knew who was my age. Remembered Lyle LZ. For what though? Is what I'm asking? For dying horribly. That's enough. What do you mean? I mean, yeah. Now, but I thought it was famous before then he died. He was a big, pro-ball linebacker, right? Okay, so it was the football career that was enough. Okay do you mean? I mean, yeah, but I thought it was famous before then he died. He was a big pro-ball linebacker, right? Okay, so it was the football career that was enough. Okay, and then yeah

All right, so don't you steroids kids? Well, no you should do star That's not your memory talking about where I know like I'm sold man. I mean look at look at No, I'm ordinary who's I can say go. I mean look at him, he's fine. I mean, it's like, just don't abuse stuff. I mean, honestly. Let's go gambling instead and say first. Yeah, really. Speaking of not abusing stuff. Okay.

So let me ask you a question. Do you think, then, do you think steroids should be legal? Yes. In what? In baseball? In everything. In everything. I think they should be, I think they should be, I should pre-market.

Just like no home bar, do what you want? Well, I'm sure there's a level to which they, you know, there's tolerances that should be operated with them, but I don't think they should be illegal. What about cocaine? I don't know. What do you think the Olympian should be able to use steroids? Fuck yes. Really?

Yeah. Remember that sign out live sketch, all drug Olympics would be great. I think Joe Piscobo is in there. It was in that. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Really? Yeah. Because you always complain about just money in baseball. Even. Yeah, but I mean it's if it's a fair playing field, if everyone's allowed to use steroids and everyone's, then it's a fair playing field. They're all using them anyway. If you, more fair than it is now. If you ever, if you ever want to be frustrated, or just laugh at Joel either one,

they're both equally fun. Just sit with Joel while he watches anyone play the Yankees. Well, Yankees are pitching to them. I think I had like a brain aneurysm about four years ago. I got so angry and it was like, it was so angry that I can't even get to that level of anger in anything in life again. You should play. I had a meltdown. I remember taking screenshots that I can't even get to that level of anger in anything in life again. You should, you play, I had a meltdown.

I remember taking screenshots. Yeah, I remember. I took screenshots of like the Yankee Strike Zone versus other teams. You claim that the Yankee said purchase the bigger strike zone in your team. They have. They have. You should watch. I mean, radical, radical statement to make.

I mean, is anyone not believe that? I mean, look at replay. I mean, it's like, it's a not-sense strike zone. I mean, it's, this is what I don't know. Like, is it so hard to set up a couple of cameras and a couple lasers to make one strike zone for everyone? Oh, no, we can't do that. Okay, I just want to say, okay, yeah, you're right.

No, Piscopo has repeatedly denied the allegations and says he began a campaign to prove himself after battling from thyroid cancer from 1981 to 1982. That's what you might be thinking about. Well, right. Okay. Yeah. But the speculation was he worked out so much that he was using steroids. It was a thing.

I didn't really know. Somehow, but it's like he went through a period where it's like, well, I'm going to die in two years. So, blah, blah, blah. I'm going to try and get all this comedy out of me in two years, whatever. But that he didn't, they never, never died. I didn't remember that in particular, but I particular, but it removes any of that stuff. Yeah, I was looking it up.

So as far as I know, the only thing I can see of any kind of illness with Joe Piscibo was that he was the only one I've ever had for the past. Was the movie sidekick? I thought that he was a steroid user as well. I mean, this really clear stuff up for me. Joe Piscibo, I feel like I've grown as a person. I've been sitting here talking for the past 15 minutes at both Bernie and Gus are interfacing with the internet, like just like doing a fact checking the internet. 15 minutes and both Bernie and Gus are interfacing

Like just like like doing a fact Make sure it's close to reality is for accuracy No, I've never heard the podcast and five fucking years who is it Brandon said I didn't listen to it? Fucking asshole, strangle in. Would you lose your old podcast? Okay, let's wrap this up. It's where we gonna go to lunch. Good question. Shit.

You have my attention now. Good question. Where are we gonna lunch? I don't know. What are you hungry for? We should go somewhere, we have a lot of new people in the office and we should take them to somewhere they haven't been for.

Probably that would be then home slice that you would like to know. Whole slice would be good. Or to hop dotty. Both good. So we wouldn't hop-dotty. Jordan, what have you, where tell us, regale us with places you have eaten while you've been in Austin? I've been, I've been home slice. You have? I was gonna go there tonight for dinner. Okay. But lunch is okay too. I haven't been a hop-dotty. I've been to, we went to Garcia's yesterday. Lamberts. You got a Gordo's last night?

Do you want a Gordo's? They're closed for some reason. It's out of bitch. I know. I got that, they took me to Gordo's once, and I just got angry over what they made me. Gordo's a place where it's like a donut. Or made donuts.

They take a donut, they slice the glazed donut in half, and put a piece of fried fucking chicken in between it, and then you fucking eat it. You got anger about that fuck, but you can't really go about that You can't get angry about the chicken by chicken covered in casso No, I make so little sense What if they got a donut and put it in casso?

Casso always makes sense You just blew my mind I think they should have burnt casso to it I told Aesu what about chocolate covered peanuts Okay, no, chocolate covered popcorn You know what's better is chocolate cut a bird aspresso beans Those are the greatest things ever. Three, four, three industries, the new makers of Halo.

Yes, I know, I, yes. They sent us a gift, Christmas gift, and I actually went to our old office, and then it just ended up here last week, or earlier this week. It has, it's something I've never tried before, which is chocolate-covered popcorn. Why have I lived this long and never tried that?

I noticed from backers, free bags bags sitting on the table, you know, the unopened bags have like a 50-50% mix of chocolate popcorn and like, I don't know, coffee-pop coffee popcorn. And then there's an open bag. And in the open bag, there's like 400 pieces of toffee popcorn and two pieces of chocolate covered popcorn. And I'm like, why the fuck with it? And so I I I went through and started rooting through and just getting what was left of the chocolate and it's good It's fucking chocolate popcorn is a brilliant idea. It is but I mean really cover anything in chocolate It's a brilliant idea. Yeah, what could you cover in chocolate? Okay, so cucumber

That might be the two things like combining K so and chocolate But you combine K so with anything it works. You might chocolate with anything works But if you combine chocolate and K so that mean it's just too much It's flying too close like time at that point. So where are we gonna go to eat lunch? I thought you said Hope dotty. Do you want to go to hot dotty? Is that what is it? It's a burger place and it's a good burger place and you've already been to mighty fine. That's gourmet. Yeah What's some other places we've discussed he'll be into twoies I'm gonna twoies we went to torches

towards good good I could go there again we've discussed in the podcast you got peteries but just you decided burger last night yeah casino El Camino yeah that's fair open for the burger last time we're watching the hop guys all right you're right that's stupid what's going to go who who who goes well we can take him to some kind of trailer. That's true. That's fine. What was that place we used to go that was the mixture of Thai and Mexican? Okay. Chilantro?

Korean and Mexican. Korean and Mexican. Yeah. Another true of them. There's Chilantro and I think that one's called Corianos. Yeah. I'll tell you where we should take Jordan for lunch. And I'm going to say it and then I'm going to walk away.

Okay. And it's going to be the right answer. Conan O'Brien. You ready? away. Okay. And it's gonna be the right answer. Conan O'Brien. You ready? Yeah. Frank. Describe the show to a newcomer in a more familiar way. Do you like apples?

Alright, example. Together in Trempit hosts, Trevor Collins, Trevor Collins, Alfredo Diaz, I have nothing to do with this podcast. Analyze various unsolved and Ruestruteats cryptic podcast, f*** face. Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise specific, but short. Listen to show name on Apple Spotify

or wherever you get podcasts. It's f*** face, a podcast. Subscribe or no, you do yes? you