Rooster Teeth Podcast - RT Podcast #236

Episode Date: September 17, 2013

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What's up? Hey everybody look me since so bright today. So bright and cheery. Hey everybody thank you for joining. Welcome to podcast number 4,864. I have no idea. What are we at? Chris, do the hosts, what are we at? It's not in my thing. I'm the wife. It's in my device that tells me. I'm talking to 36. Is it to 36? I said that like three times and I just bumped into it. I'm not sure if it's there. I didn't trust you entirely. Nope. So today we have Bernie, Barbara, Chris, and Gavin. But no gust today, gusts is out again. Is gusting to see world?

Look, we don't look. It's not mysterious. He's just not here right now. In this place. It's Chris. Chris is very excited to be in the host seat today. I can tell you, he's really excited about it. And he's not all nervous.

I've got to read things. You were practicing before the show. It was really funny. Now I'm gotten good. Yeah There's a lot of them line men. So it's what even up to Chris. I haven't seen you it seems like in a long time A lot of prep for gauntlet. Yep, we're shooting that This week, right and that's that's a lot to do. There's a lot of stuff there Yeah, but you've been working on like a lot of other things too Well, we just released a extended edition of Simple Walking the Mortar, right? So that was

exciting. Or it is exciting. Where can people get the extended edition of the extended edition? Where can they get that? Well, the DVD is at the Risteteed Store, and then you can also get the digital person on iTunes and on Amazon. And where are you have cars I never saw cars in the first one Oh, they were cars, but you guys are hitching a ride now all of a sudden yeah, I see the sheep did you tear Eyes those sheep yeah, we should you know a lot of terrorizing sheep. There's also a lot more like toilet humor in this Version like well that's great like literally us go into the toilet more. Oh, yeah So basically like the extended editions of the actual Lord of the Rings movie. Yeah, it's all the toilet stuff That they dump in a hole. Yeah, you did. Yeah How is that?

Uh, it was good. I actually took a huge dump on Mount Doom shoes one mountain And the thing is is like at that point we were so tired that like we couldn't really go too far off the trail Because it's just wasting energy and there was no like way of digging in because it was like rocks and stuff Oh, it's a terrible energy and there was no way of digging in because it was like rocks and stuff. Oh, it's a terrible story. Yeah, sorry. So it's literally like if you were to go up the trail it'd just be like 10 feet that way and you're like,

oh, yeah, that's where they were. Oh my god. It was a lot of talk of ball chasing in the extended version too. You know, it's more common. So what would you carry a Nick do the entire time you doing this? I think they're just talking chatting. I mean it could be a way it was like I was like I could wave me

So what would you wave? I don't I don't know why I mean why would you think of that I could wave it well I mean I remember like me it's like awkward because I could like see them chatting but waving would make it Yeah, that would make it more. That was fixed that right away. Actually, Rosie's, oh hey, hey, Chris, what's up? Any form of eye contact will be weird. Like, if you dumped, if public dumping was that you couldn't see anything except for below the neck

and you couldn't smell anything or hear anything, just eye contact alone would be really weird or you dumped it because you you'd have to be looking at the dude but then you'd be kind of like is he pushing? yeah it's been a horrible strain face you remember when we were out of baby when they're like all of a sudden they turn bright red and they just like start going it's pretty much the same thing the babies actually have to squeeze one out yeah Yeah, they do. They do trouble sometimes.

Yeah. So why do they give some sort of signal that is happening? What do you mean? What if the baby... The baby's doing it the way... The baby's doing it the way... The baby's doing it the way... What if the baby has to physically squeeze and it doesn't just fall out, then it'd be easier.

What are you talking about? No, I thought... You were saying that the parents don't squeeze the baby. That's not what it looks. What does the signal indicate? No, no the night I thought like maybe it would just trick it out but I didn't realize the baby has a physically be make a decision to be like all right I need a dumb you know let's just go they are humans they were pretty much the same way you know they're a little

more efficient I think babies are you know like if you're in a river or something and you have to pee in the river, you know, every time we float the river, that's it. I mean, that's something that happens. It's not like, you know, there's fish pee. There's just a thing. It's not like you're in a pool. It's really isn't just a thing, but go ahead.

All right, well, I don't do it in a pool. That's gross. The problem with the river, so what Chris is talking about is, is just south of austin there's sand markets in new bronfels and there's a ton of places down there we get rivers like what do you have to float usually the guadalupe uh...

it's called don's fish camp i think don's camp goes on the water loop they or maybe the sand market river i'm not quite sure but uh... anyways couple rivers a lot of rivers in texas and they're all cold as fuck and you get an interview with much and you float on the river with about 10,000 other people that are also in the river,

at various stages of the river, and everybody's drinking beer, and nobody's getting out to pee, that's what it looks like. Yep, so... Nobody's getting out to pee. Nobody's getting out to pee. Everyone's peeing probably twice. At least, easy. That's like a three hour ride and you're drinking a ton of beer. I'm always worried about sort of floating next to a

floater or Which actually happened to like who? Yeah, like a poo. I didn't want to say I thought you met like a person floating No, but once there was a piece of wet bread So I'm actually threw it over you didn't I save you from it or something? Are you sorry? I don't look at it. Are you sorry you ever brought up the wet bread thing? Had you think you've been punished enough for letting people know that you don't like wet bread? Yeah, but that's just kind of like a front weakness, like a front facing weakness. They didn't have my real weaknesses. Give us a real one.

Tell us one, yeah. Yeah, brilliant. Cripply self-doubt. That would be one. If you're peeing in the river, do you try and act natural? I don't pee in the river. I'm the one guy who gets out. Okay. You'll get out at the side and just like piss into the bushes or something? I get out of the river and piss back into the river.

I don't want to be wobbly to my own film. So that's what I do. The thing is, do you like try and make conversation and act completely natural? No, I can't or do you not talk to anybody when we're floating and like we all go pee So if we talk to you non stop you would never be able to never Never have to be like just like not concentrating not focusing on anybody around me. Here's my issue of that We once floated the river and right at the beginning you tied your one to mine. Yeah, cuz yeah You wanted to do that for some reason. So you were pissing while I was attached to you. And

you did the same. No, no, we made a deal. And you did the same. That we would alter ourselves to be downriver from the other person. Gross. Yeah. Downriver. That like, when the person goes, and the pie goes fast and the rest of the world just like little bit. They're just like, they're a little behind you. Yeah, and also the p coming from the people upstream of you just like goes, oh there's people in the way, let's go this way, let's get away from you. Well it's like I'll do the thing where I'm like, if I'm far than off away from people where it's you know, I'm not peeing near them, but it's like you're trying to maintain conversation. You're like, yeah so about that thing where I talk about it.

Are you taking a shit? Well you know, you have to concentrate on different muscles. Yeah, so about that thing where you talk Well, you know, you have to concentrate on different muscles. Yeah, no, you just open the top But once you pee, you have to push the whole time. Yeah, but the thing is is peeing in a river doesn't it's not a natural thing Or I guess it is a natural thing, but it doesn't feel it's not like I'm sitting in front of toilet If I'm sitting in front of toilet, I can have a conversation all day But it's like peeing in a river. It's like you have to kind of like tell your body to go. Is that any sense? It is context though. It is context. Yeah, like if you said to someone we're all in a pool together a normal-sized pool And there's like eight of us in there and somebody goes I guess I just peed in the pool and remember like ah man But if you got out of the pool and stood on the side of the pool and

man but if you got out of the pool and stood on the side of the pool and those people would never speak to you again. It's the same net effect but those people would be like you're the most disgusting person to ever fucking live. Do you think you could tell the Andrew story of what he did or a pool? Yes, I don't know what that was. Andrew is a friend of ours. He's also on the Ruchu Kitsight. And he's done some stuff with the Chima Hunter.

Is that Frager? No, it's a Mr. Sir. Mr. Sir, I now I know who we're talking about. He's got a big old red face. Now that we know exactly who he is, abs, I'll give you full permission you can tell his story. Andrew, I'm sorry.

Fuck you, Andrew. So Andrew came to visit us a couple weeks ago. And I wasn't there for this, but I was told this story by Michael and Lindsay. He really had to go to the bathroom, and to get into our building after a certain time, you needed the clicker to open the door. So, he took the clicker, but he was standing there by the door, opening it, or at least trying to, and it wasn't working. So, instead of going back and trying to get help from somebody,

he just stood there and just peed on the ground. Right in front of the door to our apartment building. That happens. Smart move. By the way, I was making a joke. I know who Andrew is. I always did with the 200 guys. I always asked him to frag her. I did that with the RAV for like the first two months you were there. You congratulate it. It's a frag her. I'm really glad you've come to work with us. I think the hardest part about it in the war is that you're wearing shorts and it's weird to piss while you're dressed, basically. Like if it was acceptable to piss at dinner, if you're wearing a suit, but you just had like a tube on your knob and you

could piss down into a toilet, yeah I think it'd be hard still to piss. You think we'll ever get to that point where everyone just wears like mech suits, where they just pee? Yeah, mech. What do you master, chief? Out of spasticity. Yeah, how do you say? Recycles. Recycles it. What do you mean, if it literally recycled it in the generated water and you just while you're peeing, you're drinking.

It's recycling that fast. That's what happens everywhere. Everywhere. Well, I know. I'm talking about literally, this is all when you piss you get gel or you know it's like oh better sure I better drink out there is a vine I saw that was the the piss vine I am we vines are impossible to find like once you see when you like it's just completely no it's almost impossible to find but I'll see if I can find this fine as a stubborn bitch

finds a little bit stubborn even do we shot another round of vines last week. That was a lot of fun. And we've now established a tradition for what she vines, which is eye almost choked to death every time we shoot the first time in a moment. You guys never put the audio of that vine up on the microphone. You're going to do it last week and you never did it. Of you choking when you sang God damn it. You're a damn it. So can you never did it of you choking? Like I said God damn it, Mark. You're a damn real. I'll just make it quite. Can you accidentally take a wig of coffee?

It was the weirdest choke I've ever done because you were laughing, which is what caused you to choke. This week, yeah. But then you continued choking. But you continued laughing. I was so I didn't know what to do. Of course you're done. You were like, you were like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

I was in danger because I had jelly beans in my mouth from his jelly bean sketch because I couldn't stop eating them. We actually went to shoot that one the first time and I bought like six pounds of jelly beans. They were completely eaten by the time we got around the second round of the vine. They were gone, not by me by everybody in the company. That was what a week that we loved them? I think it was like two weeks between the sets of vines. So I was eating some of the jelly beans and I took it to be fresca a He just like this side of him with jelly beans in mouth made me laugh

So I inhaled just like the tiniest bit of fresca into my lungs, but Then I started choking spew jelly beans all over the other side of the convent room and then I couldn't stop Choco's doing this thing where you ever breathe in like a lot of liquid You ever done it before and you're you're long freak out. Yeah, they go But I was still laughing is it I couldn't stop laughing even though I felt like I was gonna die so I get a mistake Seriously like I'm joking And then I walked out of the garbage room I walked out into the lobby making that horrible noise out into the front I don't know why I went outside. I thought I should go on any of my chair And I go outside nobody following me Just let me go I had jelly beans in my mouth. I was trying to waste them

Just let me go. I had jelly beans in my mouth. I was trying not to waste them I was dying would you say you know what waterboarding is like is that Something along man. I would not want to try waterboarding. I heard there were critics or skeptics of Wasn't that the Chinese was torture there? No, that's different. That's a psychological thing Chinese water tortures where they lay someone down and they drip water at like random intervals in a spot in their forehead. And apparently when you do that, there's a psychological thing that happens

where you anticipate the next one. And the more random it is, it just completely fucks with you. And it also makes people think it's drilling a hole in their head over time. The same type of pressure, over and over in the same spot. Yeah, so what were you saying about the waterboarding thing? So waterboarding is different. Waterboarding is where they lay you down,

or they'll tilt you this way, where your head is lower than your feet, and then they pour, they put a rag over your face, and then pour water on that. And it's supposed to be awful. But it's kind of like when people first heard that they were doing this at Guantanamo to detainees or whatever classification they were giving these people. There were a lot of skeptics, like a lot of, especially conservative talk show hosts.

We're saying, it's like getting water poured on you. It's no big deal. And then they had a couple guys like this and, well, if it's not so bad, why don't you do it. And there was one radio host I remember in particular, his name was Man Cow. He used to be a huge competitor for Howard Stern, but he's not quite as big as he used to be. And he did it, and he, like, within three seconds, bailed out of it, it was like, I'll never talk shit about that again.

That was one of the worst things I've ever experienced in my life. Like, it's a video that's on YouTube, and you can watch it, watch Man Cow Waterboarding. And he goes from the beginning of the video going, this is bullshit, this is not torture, it's not anything bad to like within about a minute he's completely flipped after he went through it for about four seconds is how long he lasted what about it is so unpleasant yeah there's me again you almost have to see the you almost have to see the here the audio because the guy who's

administering it I guess is a guy who's done this before and he goes all right We're gonna start on the count of three are you ready? He goes one two and then he just dumps the water right in the guy's face Like doesn't give him a chance to get caught up, but look how long he lasts here. We're watching the video of mankind right now He goes and we're gonna start on three one Two and here we go So it's feet are higher than his face? It goes. Oh, it's his on his mouth.

Yeah, that's it. That's it. That's all the way he lasted. Wow. And when you look at it, it doesn't look. It doesn't look. It looks like it looks like what he's saying. Oh, you're just going to pour water on somebody's face.

But apparently, triggers something in you. Well, I meant like cold water hitting you. Often makes you breathe in, right? You know, it's also, well, it makes you feel like you're drowning, right? Right, it makes you feel like you're drowning. You're gonna drown. Which apparently is like, I guess that's ingrained in us that we're gonna move from a really serious topic to a really stupid topic.

We once had a conversation from jelly beans from joking and walking outside the water boarding and international torture We had a conversation today was it with you Gavin? I was wondering place silly conversation about me We was water and all that stuff like why is it built into with some stuff with water like when you touch water You have to pee and stuff like that going back to our other conversation But then we got this weird hypothesis with without human beings without human beings would it chicken? Ever encounter a fish? There with me like there are possible two animals in the world that would never encounter each other and never know the other exists.

I know it's stupid, I know it's stupid. But would a chicken ever encounter a fish if not for humans domesticating both of those things? Yeah probably not right. Right, like when would a chicken ever be between the ocean or a lake? ever encountered a fish if not for humans domesticating both of those things. Yeah, probably not, right? Right, like when would a chicken ever make it between the ocean or a lake? Which one would be more scared?

Like chicken would eat a fish, if you fed a fish to chicken, it would probably eat it, right? What? What a fish eat a chicken? A bird's eat fish all the time. No, no, it would. What a fish eat a chicken. What kind of fish? A big fish. Like if you were like, if you had a shark,

a shark would probably just eat a fish. So here's a good question. Has a shark ever encountered a chicken? I bet. That's probably some sort of bone accident and chickens just lost. But how does it get that? It fell off a cliff. It flew and it's like flapping and it's so it's like trying to save itself. It ends up going out deep into the ocean Shark I'm like we say as humans we probably encountered every animal. That's probably happened, right? So one human has encountered every kind of animal Well, there is no I bet not stuff deep deep in the ocean. There are some animals that have How do you know?

There are some animals I read about a fish we have and we don't even know how to do that. There are some animals. I read about a fish we have and we don't know how. There are some animals. There's animals on some remote islands where they're not afraid of humans like every other animal is. Well yeah, it doesn't have to be. It's smart enough to know that humans are fucking bad news. No, it's never met a human. How would it know?

Right. Like animals have evolved along with us to be scared of us. Well, he learned. Yeah. There was a screw on my front yard the day as soon as I showed up, he was like, he was watching me the whole time. It's like, I like the friendly squirrels. What's that? The friendly squirrels? Like around, like, college campuses and stuff? Well, they come up to you, like, yeah, yeah, because they're, they're used to people feeding them.

Yeah. And like, so they'll come up and they'll be, you're like, pediment stuff. Give you rabies. Have you ever been to either New York or Montreal and seen pigeons in those cities? I have, but not awful. They do not give a fuck. You could be like, almost stepping on them. And they're just like, how's it going?

I didn't get the full view. One of these faces. We have something though in Austin. We don't have pigeons, really. But we have the worst fucking bird on the planet. The crackles. They though in Austin. We don't have pigeons really, but we have the worst fucking bird on the planet. The crackles. They live in Austin and Where are they? Are they crows? What are those things? They look like baby crows. They're terrible. They're terrible animals.

Can you horrible baby crows? You ever see when you get, they get a flock of them? They usually will hang out like a major intersection for whatever reason. And there will literally be like tens of thousands of crackles like littering the power lines it looks like an Alfred Hitchcock movie it really does these birds are terrible but Brandi show a picture of a crackle if you can I don't even know if that's a real word for a bird that's a tree yeah you can't hear it but I'm sure that the shape of that tree that thing is probably loaded with crackles yeah you can see them on the branches and they just crack that in Austin I bet the cause below it loaded as

well. Yeah. It's the worst. There were corners at the University of Texas that were just like like littered with bird shit. Like slick with shit. It's just like what's your birth your worst bird shit experience. I'm pretty sure I got a bird shit by mouth once which we've been officially dead. I don't have a bird shit experience. I have a bird shit by mouth once. Which means I'm officially dead. I don't have a bird shit experience. I have a bird flying into me experience. Go ahead, they got here. I mean, it's that story.

I was in Montreal waiting at a street corner and a pigeon flew into my shoulder and flew away. And I almost shat in my pants in front of like 80 people waiting on the corner of the street. Scared you to that bad. Did you do that spider web thing? When you walk into spider web? Did you freak out?

Yeah. No. I had screamed a little bit and flipped the thing. I remember in high school taking a test and all of a sudden a bird just going bump into a window. Now it is like. And you see the outline of it?

Yeah. All right, they're very dusty. And they leave a dust imprint on the glass when they hit. I've been crapped on a lot, but nothing beats like a big bird dumping on the ground in front of you. Why? Because you get it splashing. No, I mean, but I would put it.

I would say lucky. It hits the splashes, and you get it over so much more. What the fuck is shooting near you? What the fuck is shooting near you? I don't know, like a red coyote or something. Like one of the middle earths? How much worse would it be if you were a foot ahead and just landed right on you?

Because that would have been like one easy patch. This was like all up the front of me. Like, ah. I had a friend in college. He's a black guy and he had a shaved head. So his head was like particularly shiny in some way. And he would walk this one courtyard and bird would just die. They would just dive on the top of his head was like particularly shiny and you would walk this one courtyard and bird would just die. They would just dive bomb the top of his head.

What did they say to us? It was Adrian. We had so much fun watching Adrian cross the courtyard. We're all in our dorm window, so watch an Adrian and he's like, you come like, with a book like that. They would just come at him, man. It was amazing. I've never heard of that happening to someone before. Really? We're just flying at their shiny balls and- Because It was amazing. I've never heard of that happening to someone before. Really? I was flying at their shiny ball. Because it was shiny.

Did he? That's a powder shed. That's what we figured. I mean, we couldn't think of anything else. They didn't dive on the rest of us. I could have been racist birds. Yeah. You know?

I mean, we thought it was just because his head was shiny. And I think he figured out the only thing that I did on sunny days, dude. They'd come after. It's reflecting. So GTA V is coming out in a few hours. Yeah. Yeah, from when we record this podcast, which we record on Mondays.

Are you going to go straight there to get it after this? I'm not sure. I don't know. I'm not sure I've ever been this excited about a game. Ever. Really? Yeah. Man, maybe Halo 3.

Halo 3 is a huge one for sure. One of the cool things about GTA V, which there has been a lot of talk about it, that this is the last hurrah for an entire generation of gaming. This is the last major release before the new consoles come out. So this is like the book end now. So what is the reason behind doing it last minute on the old console? I think it's just coming out for the holidays. I would not be the least bit surprised if GTA 5 is on the new consoles before Christmas.

I wouldn't be surprised in the least. But if they saved it just for the new consoles, they'd get way less sales, right? If, if first of all, if they told people now it's coming out for the new consoles, no one would buy it on the existing console today and They had to push the release date back. They should tell us tomorrow then Yeah, I don't know. I you know what I'm curious about I you know after being on the patch now for a couple weeks and talking about a lot of different gaming stuff I realized that like I don't have a console allegiance. I am I like digital stuff

I like all digital yeah, and, and I'm actually probably going to end up playing GTA 5 on the PS3 because I'm going to download it tonight and it's not available download on the Xbox. So, um, and I don't really want to wait to play GTA 5 and I, they won't say when it's coming out in the Xbox for digital. And this one in particular makes more sense. I think to play digital because it's two discs on the Xbox. Yeah, it has to be because there's no blu-ray drive. Right. So it installs from one disc, and I know Ashley's working on a news piece for this, where they explain all this, but it's like you have to install one of the discs and then play off the

other disc. Yeah, a lot of games are doing that now. I know also with games like that, you're not going to actually install it to your drive. You're going to play from the disc. We have to install this one you have to install the first disc and play from the second one. I know, but you're installing content from the disc. You're not installing the game on the Xbox. Oh, I see what you're saying. So you know, you know, you can press Y and install the game

to the drive. Sure. You're not going to do that for games where you install on a separate disc. Yeah, they tell you not to install the disc. Yeah, you get like lower performance. Right. So then how does digital, how out digital how is that gonna affect that?

Did different code I guess Really, I mean it would it the code between the disc and the drive is gonna be different isn't it cuz no disc yeah And listen, I know every time we talk about this people come at me about the whole digital thing and how They like discs and all that that's great. I'm really happy for you But I just feel like I really feel like everyone is gonna go digital eventually right? I mean everyone is going to yeah like it was a point in time when I would buy PC games in a box and that's the way it was not. Now you don't even think about it like that. Yeah like if I met somebody today and they say I really like

buying my music on discs because I like to hold it on compact disc and I like to have the liner notes and all that stuff. You think they'll win. I would think they were weird. Yeah. It's like that moment in on compact disc and I like to have the liner notes and all that stuff. You think they were weird. I would think they were weird. Yeah. It's like that moment in time has passed and I think we're just in that transition now. That's like saying I like cassettes because I like rewinding stuff. It's like yeah. I like auto reverse. Yeah. That's my favorite feature of me listening to music. But did you hear about payday? More it was like 1.3 million in digital. 1.5 million. Yeah 1.6 million. It was crazy and the fact that paid it to the nation from news

Oh, did you really I did so pay day two sold 1.6 million copies. That's pretty crazy It's a that's not a it's not a huge franchise. I wouldn't say yeah, and that's a lot of copies I've never heard of pay day before people start talking about pay day two Anyway, I'm gonna talk about a lot of the stuff on the patch, I'm sure, this week. Go Ad! The RISTEAF podcast is brought to you by the new 2014 Zion TC. The 2014 TC has a muscular new look and modified steering and suspension to improve driving precision. And with the standard features like the Pioneer Touchscreen Display Audio,

redesigned 18-inch machine finish alloy wheels and panoramic moon roof. The Sion TC is made to go the distance. Learn more at www.sion.com slash RTX. Yeah. RTX in there. So it's going to be cool. You guys had that short with the Sion, right? Yeah. Did you drive it? Yeah, I did. Did you worry that you were gonna crash the car? I absolutely did worry that. And I got made fun of for dr. What? Did you drive like a bitch?

Yes, I did. Very much so. Well, you're with like a car that doesn't belong to us. Yeah, I know. It's like, if I was to crash my home car, it would suck. Yeah. To crash a pretend car. Would you be annoyed if, okay, say I had home car, it was sock, but to crash a pretend car, would you be annoyed if,

okay, say I had a car, which I don't, but say for a joke one day, I just wanted to crash it into you slowly, as you were parking or something. And I was like, here's the money for you to get it fixed, and a bit extra for the hassle. Would you be annoyed? Uh, were you filming it? Yeah, if you're filming it, I'd be less annoyed. Yeah. But the hassle's really annoying. Yeah. Yeah, if you're filming it I'd be less annoyed. Yeah, but the hassles are really annoying Yeah, yeah, it's true. I mean, that's what I said is I don't I don't want I didn't want to crash a nice car

Yeah, I want to crash the lousy car Actually, I if we like a crappy car and we're like just do something fun with it I think it'd be cool Gavin Gavin having a crappy car. I did something fun with it just recently We just today I did I wish all that like three years ago We didn't know we did That is that is hard now sometimes we'll shoot stuff and it like sits in a pipeline for a while Yeah, like the Harry Potter thing came out this this weekend Yeah, and I could have sworn that came out like five different times with of course the last month

I was like I saw to the vents and I saw it at different places and I saw it at previews and it's like, I didn't realize it wasn't out yet. Yeah, I've always done that with the slow-mo stuff though. I was looking through, this is a while ago, but I was looking through videos that hadn't put up here and I saw one of a hard drive. I was like, oh yeah, I forgot, it was like two years, I shot it two years ago

and I put it up and it got like four million views. It's a lot of weird to have four million view videos just sat there like forgotten. Yeah. Whoa! I did well. It's like it's like finding the $20 bill in your laundry, in your pocket after you get it out. But we did that. You did a series or one of the episodes from that series, which is called We Call What Do You Know,

which is the interview series. Do we call it that? Yeah. It's like it's unofficial. It was originally called verses like something verses something else Another show called verses now and it makes me way more sense for the a team on a show to be called verses but The The thing about that show which I don't think a lot of people understand like they think it's a lot of people think it's scripted depending on The whose answering questions or whatnot. There's obviously

none of that that's that's scripted. It's basically like, it's basically like an improv game. Because what we do is we sit down and you answer questions and there's only one rule is that is you can't say I don't know. And it really is helpful if as soon as I asked you the question, you immediately answer it. You don't sit there and think about it. You just immediately start to answer the question with whatever's in your head because it's a test what people don't know about something but what they've kind of learned by osmosis from everybody like everybody in the world is seen Harry Potter and I've encountered Harry Potter so much like out in the

wild and they all know that jiggly puff is not a house yeah so I mixed up like stuff there for jiggly puff but I actually got the robber pat something almost right yeah oh no you got it completely wrong oh I did what I said he was in the mood I said it would be your life he was the bad if he was in the movie he would have been killed right is what he said which is exactly what happened right I got right see good job but I just didn't know that he was in the mood yeah that was one of those things were when you said I I was like is he joking or is he sorry? Yeah, I thought when I was watching it. I don't know if this is...

That could have a great reaction of the PAX final. Yeah. That was a lot of fun. I was a lot more people know about Harry Potter than I will ever. So how come Jordan is the one who was quizzing you? Does he know a lot about Harry Potter? I did an interview with Jordan that didn't turn out well, so I got to scratch.

Was he too smart? It was just, here's the tough thing about that show. Is that that show you have to ask people questions and they can't know the answers, but the audience has to know the answers for it to make sense. Because if the audience doesn't know the answers, and the contestant, what do you want to call them, participant, doesn't know the answers,

there's just a bunch of people not knowing shit. It's not what makes you laugh at the jokes. If you write, and they say, well, look shit out. That's not the look up shit show. And so we did a financial one with Jordan and it just didn't it didn't play as well. Yeah, I mean, it's one of those things too where he knew enough to where he knew enough and the audience didn't know and wouldn't know enough that it just yeah, I mean we did a science one with Brandon too that didn't know a long time ago. Yeah, and it's like the main thing is like if you get somebody in the chair

and they actually know all the answers to the questions we tell them don't make up like you don't know like don't stuff in Harry Potter that I knew we just don't show that because who the hell cares The questions I get right. Yeah, so it's funnier to we do edit it to like keep the funny bits in there And so but with Brandon I think Brandon got like 85% of the questions right so it just wasn't a good episode So we just scrapped it and then we moved over to you. So I mean, I think our ratio is like five to seven, two bad ones and five good ones. But they don't take long time to shoot. You were interviewed about sports, right? I remember them trying to trick you.

No, I mean, that was someone's favorite. Yeah, we double up. Like the same day we shot carers, we shot yours. Yeah. And the same day we shot Jordan's was the day We shot mine because I was gonna ask him questions about that's what we're sitting down to the financial stuff Then they turned it around to me that is actually the only part of it that's like semi-staged because I did know Because Cara fucked up and told me right beforehand that we were doing an interview about Harry Potter

And I was like why are we asking Jordan about Harry? Oh you fuckers So and Chris that's what Chris was focusing the camera and looking at me like this that we were doing an interview about Harry Potter. And I was like, why are we asking Jordan about Harry Potter? You fuckers. So that's when Chris was focusing the camera, and looking at me like this. You're poker face was terrible, dude. At that point, I already knew it was like, it's over. It's out of back. Yeah, but it didn't change the fact

that I didn't know anything about Harry Potter. No. I just sat there and was like, racking my brains at the chair trying to think it's tough. It's like it almost backfired, because you didn't tell Kara that it was going to be turned around because you didn't want anything about Harry Potter. I just sat there and listening to racking my brains at the chair trying to think of stuff. It's like it almost backfired because you didn't tell Kara that it was gonna be turned around because you didn't want her to ruin it. But instead, she ruined it.

She ruined it without knowing. Because she didn't know not to ruin it. Yeah. Yeah. It's very confusing. Listen, it was a big debate. Kara, I don't know if we can go to you in the control room, but I gotta say it was a big debate whether or not to tell you about the

Gus Street Pass prank because I was just I was convinced she's shaking your head. I was convinced that Kara was gonna give it away. I knew it. She gave away something else too. What was the other thing that she revealed? What was that Kara? Do you remember? Tell the hot intern what it was and tell us. She's a remember. Okay, I can't give her that away So you're gonna play it GTA fun me yeah, I Care about GTA. Yeah, I played GTA in the past. I never really I think it made up it It's made up its entire budget in pre-orders learn I think it made up its entire budget in pre-orders alone $270 million is what the game costs people have messages Why does it look like that girl on the cover art or some art or GTA 5?

There's like a long girl who everyone messages me saying is this you is this you? Yeah, I hate the whole you look like X but I actually think that looks like you as well Yeah, it was like a cross between you and Kate upton. Yeah, that's what a lot of people say I don't know if we have a picture of it But it's it's the long girl in GTA 5. She has a red bikini on and she's like I think she's holding a cell phone and doing like a peace sign or something She's doing a selfie. Yeah, she's like doing the whole like yeah, right? And then what she's doing. What's this about? Oh, they do haven't you ever seen like we do selfies now at conventions? We do those a lot. Yeah, I always do this Oh, you this is this is this out or is it like is it cool to do this? I think it is a piece like isn't that piece or like this is super cool

What's up? I think it was like this like a gang sign I just like thanks. We can meet you. There's the whitest thing ever me and Chris throwing gang At each other. Good Lord. No, but yeah, we had a, we were at PAX Australia. Were you with us in PAX Australia this time? No. It was me, Jack and Gus.

Yeah. And the world of war tanks, booth, they had a Japanese, like booth babe. And I mean, we saw her taking like the quintessential Japanese girl selfie where she was like this and she was like in front of the sign We like I want I was desperately trying to get a picture of her taking a picture of herself because it was so perfect It's so entertaining to watch people take selfies. Oh, they don't know you're looking at them. Yeah, it's amazing You said them do the camera phase where they're just like Those things didn't exist like there are so few Those things didn't exist. Like there are so few self photos of people before like 2003.

And not just as soon as digital cameras became a thing, that became a thing where it's like, it's totally normal to take a picture of yourself. Yeah, I actually really, at conventions, I really like doing selfies. I like them better than being stood in front of somebody doesn't have to work a camera. Because I didn't get to do it, it looks like.

Oh, you mean take a selfie with somebody in the convention? Yeah, that's a big thing we do now. Somebody has a mobile phone, but they don't have someone take a camera. Because they didn't get to do it. Oh, you mean take a selfie with somebody in the convention? Yeah. Yeah. That's a big thing we do now. If somebody has a mobile phone, but they don't have someone take a photo with them, we say let's do a selfie. So we just all take a photo together on their phone. I think those are the most fun photos.

It's not just a couple of people standing there. Yeah. You put up some t-shirts. You know, with the person on the other side of the table. Yeah. Yeah. The selfie thing is way better. Yeah.

I think so too. More intimate. More intimate. More romantic. Can I make it weird. It's just you and that other person. Yeah, I have a question given yesterday or last week when we were talking about Zach Anner you asked me to tell that story. Yeah, were you talking about the ball story? What was the ball story? Well, you said, please tell the ball story. Even if it's not the story I was hoping you would tell is when he told is just him being discovered on the ground. Okay, well the ball story is just about how my friend Zach has got big balls.

Like, okay, I do remember this now. Like, in comparison to the rest of his- Well, I'm just just low. Yeah, they go low. Yeah, I'm like, what is like average? Loading fruit. Scro total volume. What is like average? No hanging fruit scroll to volume what we talk about like in terms of fruit what we talking about fruit or I'm not About balls. I guess a sack just like like the sack with like the Awesome. Why do you know this? I've seen a naked a lot Yeah, I mean you return the favor

Is like stripped down. No, I don't know. Do you even him while you're thinking is you know? I just I've been in it his apartment and nothing he like gets out of the shower and just kind of like goes naked. So I've seen naked. Did you comment to him about his balls? Yeah, we've talked about it. Does he know that his balls are... Oh yeah, he's aware. Well, how can we talk in here? Can we talk about this? Yeah, I want permission to talk about this. Yeah, I asked him if he was okay. I'm coming to a fruit. It's not even so much his balls, but the sack. I was like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, I'm so like, the distance they hang down. The total distance they hang down. Okay, let me give you a visual aid. Let me say, let me say to me, it's my hand, and I take my hand, I go to Zach Anner, and I slowly insert my hand between his legs until the top of my middle finger

touches the area between his visit, it's a hot anus. That's where we are now. I've touched it. So you're in my hand. I'm gonna run this. You tell me when to stop Like down now. It's like you also went down your hand really really fast. Yeah, you're gonna be Jump straight to my elbow at one point. Oh Really so the full breath of my hand. I don't, I don't, I never measured personally, but it's impressive is what I'm saying. It's impressive.

It's okay, okay, let me ask you this then. You're comparing, you're basing this on other testicles. That's what you see. Have you seen a lot of bulls? You just comparing them to your own bulls. What if you have small bulls? I mean, it is true, you might be revealing something about yourself. I think mine are great. Yeah.

I'm happy with them. But I mean, I've seen internet porn, you know, I have an understanding of the power. Right, I forgot all about porn. How strange of a concept. Imagine how bad it would be if your own junk was the only junk you'd ever seen. Right, I just forgot all about porn. Yeah. How strange of a concept. Imagine how bad it would be if your own junk was the only junk you'd ever seen. You would never want to do anything that could be too scared. You would never do anything that could be too scared.

You would never do anything that could be too scared. You would never do anything that could be too scared. You would never do anything that could be too scared. You would never do anything that could be too scared. You would never do anything that could be too scared. You would never do anything that could be too scared. You would never do anything that could be too scared. You would never do anything that could be too scared.

You would never do anything that could be too scared. You would never do anything that could be too scared. You would never do anything that could be too scared. You would never do anything that could be too scared. You would never do anything that could be too scared. You would never do anything that could be too scared. You would never do anything that could be too scared. mental it like that oh I told about that unless I was on podcast so I had thought when I was a kid I thought the kid was an alien and you miss dying and circumcised penis now oh you must be an alien yeah well I was like seven or you know I didn't know I was like well alien this so where are you from? the trick of decision thing is weird you say. It's a very good thing.

It's a very good thing. It's a very good thing. It's a very good thing. It's a very good thing. It's a very good thing. It's a very good thing. It's a very good thing. It's a very good thing.

It's a very good thing. It's a very good thing. It's a very good thing. that's gross. So you pull out your penis weird. How are you doing this? People tell me if they know that I, they're not looking at it and saying that. Because I think it looks fine. But, you know, everything's weird. Who does? All of America.

I don't think it's weird, Gavin. I think you have a nice penis. All right, I think you should be proud of it. And I don't think you should be sad. Have you seen Gavin's penis? Nope, I haven't. I feel like I've gotten close a couple times. I've tried.

Not from like a trine bar, I've not tried. But even when I kicked you in the urinal, it's Australia. It's my fault. Have you forgiven me for that yet? Yeah, I forgive you that trip. You forgave me after you tested negative, basically. I'll put you to test negative.

I get it at any point in time. Were you protected by the skin? By the skin? Yeah, the part of the circumcision thing is that you lose a part of your immune system there. You have less defense against disease. Yeah, that's true. It's not that. It's just the environment is much... You know, I don't know if you know this or not, but sexually transmitted diseases

are much more biased towards women. Way more biased. Well, they have a lot of crevices. They have a more hospitable environment. They have a lot of good crevices. Because it's warm and it's usually full of moisture. So that's like where, depending on the girl, and how cool she is.

Um, you know, that's like a place where bacteria will harvest. It is, it is. And so, I never tell you this, do you know that when I was in college, I was a sexual health peer advisor for the University Health Science Center, which meant that I had to, I was like, there was eight of us. I was a junior and that birth control pills at the health center were way cheaper. They were like eight bucks a month for the prescription versus like 50 a month, like normal. And so students would always want to get on the health center plan to get birth control

pills. And I had to teach the class on methods of contraception to all these women to qualify to get on birth control. And it was eight people total in the program, with me, six girls, and the gayest dude on the whole thing. And he really liked Jeopardy for that. I just sure heard that out of the guy. He really liked Jeopardy. That was a great job.

That was a good job. It's like I got to walk into, as a junior, I got to walk into with usually a bunch of college freshmen, which I was a junior at the time. I realized at my age it's creepy to talk about college freshmen, but at the time I was a junior in college. And I got to walk into a room full of women who were about to get on the pill, and I got to be the sexual authority for like an hour and a half.

That's a pretty good gig. Pretty good gig, just a second. You end up hooking up with any of them? What's that? I would not disclose that even if I had. But you know that if you were, you know, they were covered as far as birth control. Unless I fuck up the class. I didn't teach it correctly.

Bob, you should tell the audience about the experiment that we were going to do. But I also told me a lot about sexual transmitted diseases, which kind of freaked me out a little bit too. Yeah. So, we have this thing in the office that looks like a trash can, but when you pull on the back of it, it'll like puff a thing of air, like really suddenly. Air cannon?

I don't know what it's called, sure. Is it a toy or is it a real trash can? It's the Azulka. It's an Azulka. It's an Azulka. It's a brandy you can look it up, it's an Air bazooka. So Gavin came into our office the other day as I was working and did it in my face and scared the shit out of me.

And then as I do, I make jokes to make Gavin uncomfortable or anybody in general. So I lift my legs up and I go do it again. Wow, nice. And I was wondering that is a professional work environment. Yeah, and I was wondering if we could get a Wushivea, go cross Barbara's, gobbins, and would it be like, like, could we do that

would make that sound and then and then we should be and you question for us know we can't do that be i have no idea what would happen if you did that and would like different levels of that there's the air can and i would be listening to audio she put on the air can it was just a a little once. There it is.

But yeah, like could you fill it up with different levels of liquid and then get different, like, eventually, like, blow a tune on different. But then didn't we discuss that? That wouldn't work, but the wine glass trick would work if you like, like, you're fingering over and over and over and over. When you like, like, little two wine glasses. We discussed it with Breaking Bad. Barbara, what instrument can you play?

The triangle. So I probably won't be conducting any of these experiments in the podcast much to the disappointment of all of our. I'm sure a lot of people to start watching the video podcast. I just think make you have an uncomfortable. I don't imagine you ever get uncomfortable. I've never seen that connected to people like I'm at level. Yeah, I just can't relate. Yeah, to people. My favorite thing to do to you. I love doing this to Gavin in public is say really inappropriate things to strangers as Gavin watches and just to see the enjoyment in his face. What do you say to you say

to walk up to strangers and like if something happens like one time we went tubing and someone threw like if something happens like one time we went tubing and someone threw like some food at me. It was wet bread. Okay. And it was wet and I, like if they said, no, like they're passing it to someone else and it like hit me in the face or something. And I was like, oh, it's okay. I've had worse things hit me in the face. Oh. And kept sitting there. Just slowly sinking into the water.

Chased it virus me. Be it embarrassed because I do the same thing whenever we, I get very conversational, and I will strike up conversations with people that I don't know. I have no problem doing that. Gavin hates that. Gavin hates that. Like, he didn't elevate your...

I'm a collaborator. No one is allowed to talk. And you're with Gavin. That's it. Well, we'll be stood there in Elevator, and you'd be like, and I'd be like, oh! Oh! Well, I'm a friend who is like, he's exactly like that.

We'll be walking down the street in Olfson, he's like best friends with the homeless man that we pass by. Yeah. And I'm like, the guy's in the Congress office hated when I would talk to homeless people, they fucking hated it. Yeah.

I love talking to strangers. Well, I'm always like, usually when I'm with Gavin, it's usually like, we run to a bartender or a waitress or like a, but you always do it with the trance of ghosts. We have. Is that better than? Then they had it to talk to it with a dude. It's like, hey, with a ghost, like...

Oh, you mean the heart talked to for you? Yeah, I like what you're saying. Well, the big thing is, you was like, when we go somewhere, I like to strip away the veneer, like we go through these scripts all the time. I feel like that whenever we get certain situations you know you're gonna have certain conversations and Like they'll say oh you bought this keyboard. We're in best-by-bying computer equipment for the office and gaps with me And they go they go do you want to buy the extended warranty and I go Terrible idea and just goes like this

But it's like that's what everybody's thinking of course. I don't want to buy the fucking extended warranty. Yeah, I'm a keyboard Yeah, but this is a minor remember that I have an extended warranty on this guy the Mk I think if I did that I would come across this really rude, but when you do it you come across as funny That's because you're British. Yeah, I think like people associate that with like a little bit more pompous Well people I say I'm too blunt sometimes. It's like I'm just kidding around People don't know that. It's the accent, I think. Yeah.

I always try to strike out a kind of thing, but I was like today I was getting my haircut. And I was like, I cut by the way. What's that? I'm really kidding. I didn't even notice. Thanks. I didn't think you did. For some reason, like she had all of her, you sit there and you have to stare at their like their vestibule they have, where they have all their shit laid out, like they have the blue barbicide stuff. That kills everything, right? Blue fruit coloring and what? Yeah, because it seems like if you've got sick you just drink that and you mean perfectly fine.

Yeah, or dead, definitely dead. But she had a pencil sharpener there on her counter, and I was like, is that a pencil sharpener like an electric pencil sharpener? on her counter. And I was like, is that a pencil sharpener? Like an electric pencil sharpener. She goes, yep. I said, why do you have a pencil sharpener? What do you need pencils for beauty stuff? It's for like eyebrow pencils. She goes, no, it's for the front desk,

but they don't have a plug up there. So they're interested. They make you keep the fucking pencil sharpener on your stuff. She's like, yeah, I go, that's not cool. You got it. They're taking advantage of you. She goes, I think so too.

I think so. She's's the only customer who like sided with her a lot of fucking battleship. I would ever point that out in the first place and get like mad about it. Yeah, I'm like, you got it. You want me to say something to the man. You could treat me like that. Do you have a thing where you really want the people

cut your hair to like you? I always want to be, I'm always afraid they're like, not going to like me and then give me a bad haircut. Really? Yeah. I'm always like, I always turn and talk on them. Are you super really nice? Yeah.

I just hate you when they talk. I just want a quiet haircut. You should just fall asleep like Ray did. And get a great haircut. Do you see Michael's new haircut? Is that what happened to Ray's hair? Is Ray fell asleep? He fell asleep during a haircut. When he got the taxi driver? Yeah. They turned his head

into a thumb. A thumb dipped in ink. You know, why did we ever go after him? I mean that's it. I thought it was a pretty decent haircut. At least it was modern. It was outside the box for Ray. Yeah, but it's Ray. I know. That's what I'm saying. It's like Ray with any other hair. And instead of everybody going, Hey, that's a really interesting haircut for you. I was like, you it's Ray. I know that's what I'm saying. It's like Ray with any And instead of everybody's on hey, that's a really interesting haircut for you Everybody's like shit We took our company photos that we just beat on right as much as they can Your hair's growing back. How do you feel about your hair growing back? I need a hecka I forgot you were all shaved hands. You achievement 100 DVD. You're not gonna do it again

I thought I did it like every hair is the same length because it's it was from shape Oh, so I just kind of like to be tied. No, that's not true at all You're not true. No my hair my hair grows faster on the right side than the left Which is fucking weird and my hair is like a natural mullet Yeah, I let my hair grow the back grows faster than anything else. I think I have the same thing You have a different yeah, you're here. I'm sure it's the same doesn't dense to you follicles. What does that mean? Like you got more follicles in the back of your head. So it pushes out more.

I'm doing okay. I'm doing okay. I think I haven't, like, my hair line is still pretty good. What are you worried about being like getting old? No, I'm just, at this point, I like, it would start to show I would think. You have to take care. So I think you're okay.

I just, it's a fucking menace. It's a menace. And I learned, like, I learned, like, especially aren't guys my age, I don't fucking a fucking minutes. It's a minutes and I look like and I learned like for sure guys my age I don't fucking complain about my hair. Yeah, there's always some guy who's like Right nearby. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna go bald. I think but I know no man in my family is going bald No, I don't know if it not even Larry not even Larry not even any of my grandfather's It's you know, it's what you're talking about the other day too is baldness just a human thing like other bald dogs

I think no other animal lives long enough to go bold today. I mean a turtle maybe Do you go bald other places? What's that you go bald everywhere? I was just your head no, but you go gray other place like I have great chest ears What about I do great? I have great like I don't really have my beard a little bit like right here This like a little thing right there But then yeah, I'm not on great pubes knock on fucking wood Fun just get rid of that shit

Do you find it all that off? Just just get a Brazilian bro's I just did a really long ball set To distract it draws the eye Bullseye Listen, to distract, it draws the eye It draws the eye down the bridge I'm imagining like, you know you get like a net of apples I'm imagining that just with like when there's only two apples left and it's like all net

It's all just like straight up Two little apples I'm not gonna disparage Zach's genitals I just want to see like Zach put it to use like you can sway back and forth and hypnotize girls Like a cobra Or a... Exactly put it to use like you can sway back and forth and hip or hypnotize girls People are trying to charm is not so the time I mean, it's impressive. It's an impressive boss that I'm gonna get it's not charming nothing about that is impressive It's totally impressive. Yeah, how is it impressive? Can you put your balls in this water when you I'll admit it, I'm a little bit ambious of the enormously long ball fly.

What did he say? Can you put your balls in the water when you go to the bathroom? Is it just like the top of the water or does he figure out how deep it is? I don't know. I mean, I mean in the like A plus, he's got some nice balls. Okay now I'm impressed. The thing is about balls, you don't know. I mean in the like A plus Who? He's got some nice balls. Okay now I'm impressed. The thing is about balls you don't perform with them. You don't.

There's nothing you can do. Like, speak for yourself Gavin. You can't make it go feel good with your testicles. Oh, I died. I begged the minister. I left the poke one in. Oh. Just like, just bundle everything up and just,

I think I'm tamp, tamp, tamp. Why have I never seen porn? Where I do just thumbs his balls in. Just like just bundle everything up and just I can't Tamp Why have I never seen porn where dude thumbs his balls in why have I never seen that you're not trying hard enough Let me tell you it's just it's just a search away. Hey Speaking of searches Do you guys want to play Gavin or Google? Oh? Are you playing every at Christmas? All right, let's play some Gavin or Google. Let's do it. We haven't played this in a long time. Am I going to have to sing? No.

Gavin or Google? Google or Gavin? Which one said it? Let's find out. Hey! I'm feeling lucky. It's like a gift. Wow. It's like five frames a second. It's so critical.

It's supposed to look like a late night talk show thing. Alright. Oh right. Chris, Barbara, we are going to play Gavre Google. The way Gavre or Google is played is we take a three or four word search phrase. We enter into the popular search engine Google and we give it to Gavin free. I'm going to try and do my best not to laugh we will have two Results and you have to figure out which one said it Gavin or Google do you understand the rules as they have been read to you yes sir Barbara

Yes, let's play all right Gavin or Google the first phrase that we gave to both Gavin and Google was how many How many? The first return that I got was how many times can you freeze ice? The second was how many words are there? Which one said which? Barbara which one which one? Which one one? I don't know how many words are there. Was that Gavin or Google? Oh, man. I think that was Google. How many words are there?

How many words it is, Google? How many words are there? Do you think that was Gavin or Google? Would you say? I said Google. You said Google. Can I agree with Google? You can totally agree.

I agree with Google. You are both correct. Oh, Google wanted that. It was the third most popular search. How many words are there? How many words are there? Further down the list, how many numbers are there? But I thought that was impossible. It's stupid.

I realized after I wrote that, that's Dumber that I intended to be. I meant to write how many times can you freeze water? I swear it's better. So you know how you'll freeze food, and then you can once you've thought it out, it's mingin' and you can't eat it. You know what's worse like that is ice cream.

Yeah, I was. It totally changes. I have have a way to say because they froze at the first time Yeah, so I was like if you keep doing it with water and it keeps freezing and keeps throwing out Like thousands of times. Does it become weird to come become different? Who knows? I don't know. I wouldn't wear out water Use it what it's just basically the Water's a very polar compound. We forget other stuff in it. Like other particles that funk up the place. We can talk about contaminating it.

Yeah, yeah. But I know, it's like water's like water's, I don't know if you're talking about that. Water is the simplest thing, but the reason why they look for it in other planets. It's a completely miraculous thing to have. Like the way that it interacts, the way how polar it is, and like even as simple as like when you freeze it as a solid, it's the only liquid that floats on itself as a solid.

Like you have molten steel and you have a steel ball of steel ball is more dense as a solid and it'll it'll it'll sink to the bottom of molten steel. But if you take all the air of water and then freeze it, doesn't it stink? No. The way the molecule is, it lines up and it's like a lattice that it forms as it gets colder and it gets less dense and it's solid. And you think about that. If water was more dense as a solid, every time a lake froze, it would freeze from the bottom up and everything in it would die. But the fact that it has an insulating layer of ice on top. That's how it lives. Anyway, we're off on a huge science tangent there But it's that's why they always look for water when they go to plants a big fucking deal when they find water on Mars

Everybody goes ape shit. Yeah control room. All right next question for Gavin or Google who said the following Gavin or Google? I asked the question Can your hands, can your hands, the first return I got was, can your hands have toes? Can your hands have toes? And the other one was, can your hands lose weight? Can you lose weight in your hands? Chris Barber went first last time, you tell us, which one is Gavin and which one was Google? Can your hands lose weight is Gavin? Can your hands lose weight is Gavin? Barbara? I'm gonna say can your hands lose weight is Google? The people who want to know can your hands lose weight was Google?

Someone would know if they can lose weight in their hands the reason I knew that is because weight loss questions are so fucking popular on Google You are absolutely correct like every scenario you could think of is a weight loss questions are so fucking popular on Google. You are absolutely correct. Like every scenario you could think of is a weight loss question. The weirdest thing, a search I always do, and I always go back to it, I just forget until I look at the search that I'm not going to use it, which is, what is the most? Everybody wants the same thing. They want to either what the most poisonous, whatever is.

I don't know, whatever poisonous is a big search, and then what the most expensive is. Like I was thinking like, what's the most stars in the sky or some stupid search like that? No, it's always what. What's the most expensive or what's the most poisonous? I guess that's like he used the word most for that kind of stuff. What's the most expensive poison?

Also, that would be the ultimate Google search. Can we just go back around and what the fuck? Can your hands have toes? Well, I mean, how do you classify a toe? It is true. What is the most expensive? Well, I mean, how do you classify a toe? It is true. What is the thing that people have the toe fingers? Yeah, I've seen that before on people. Yeah, toe thumbs.

I don't know what that means. Your thumb looks like a toe. Like, it's really stubby and the nail is shorter. And it's like, it's a lot rounder. You know what I'm saying? You see a toe thumb, you know? Megan Fox has them. Oh, does she?

Yeah. Why? Like, I have fingers. Why is this a thumb like I have five fingers? Yeah, that's why it's a joint. Is it any joint? Yeah, two joints one two Two there one. I had a finger on my hand. I only had one knuckle. Is that toe now or what? Yeah, maybe Any of you have the head checker some dude madhullum He can almost touch his thumb to the back of his hand. That's gross.

My thumb literally stops straight. It won't go any further back. Mine will go on. Mine count, I guess mine does. Look at that. No. I'm pretty impressed. See, I have on my finger, like my finger will bend up.

I think when my fingers curve a little bit, like they say. I never knew it was something weird until I was, look at that. I was flipping a page in and look. Whoa. And someone looked at my thumb and they're like, what are you doing? And I was just like, that's as far as my thumb goes. But my finger is like, it's like, you just, I want to let you know, just doing that.

You lost like 5,000 followers. It's like immediately. Nope, all right. That's what they were looking for this whole time was that. That's their eject button. Well, if that's the reason they're leaving, I didn't like you in it but yeah I wonder like what what designates why call out a thumb is like a different thing but it's not it's

still a finger but it's the thumb we never call the thumb finger I have three joints in my thumb don't I I want to hear it's just further down so we're down here well I think like no no this lives there's like three bends you could do in your finger or sorry two bends and with the thumb you can only do one bend this three no this two yeah it's way down here and this two that's a knuckle isn't it well it's like this is a bend it is a bend yeah that's my that's my all right because we're looking at the tweet why wait wait why are we looking this up we can just we can just count hold on

One I just want to know the difference No, no get on the one way down here. This one way down here one What is a knuckle a knuckles a joint why are you differentiating? We know no, but there's all this fatty skin stuff All right, let's just Google a skeleton of a hand You know what's the way else point out to be which I need a to visually here to show which is when you hold your hand up like this Like you can see the line of my fingers Do it right in the mirror. I want to high five you so bad

It's like all your fingers are completely uneven, but when you close your hand all your fingers are dead even Like you can't you can't even up your fingers open, but when you close your hand all your fingers line up Deadly, what's that? But you can do it like that you can totally do it but you can't do it any other way yeah I'm a little bit fascinating the wobbly wiggle get the fuck out of here you ever know the dead finger do the dead finger thing with him I don't know what it is here give your hand put your hand up here give me either one dead here do it to Barbara you know we're gonna pass it along we're gonna pass it on it's gonna be fine. I'm scared keep going

I'm gonna put your right hand up. I don't like the word Later she can't believe he freaked out. I'm gonna force Barbara to touch me. I just Get out the bus. Yeah, it was fine. It'll be fine. I was gonna put it. Do you know the dead finger thing is no? I'll I'll show you later. It's creepy anyway. I really want to find out. I'll walk over. I'll walk over in a minute. After Gavron Google, I'll show you this thing. Is that like where you sit on your hand?

No, that's the masturbation thing. I'm not going to do that with Barbara. All right, let's go. Last time I asked him, like, I have an end Google. Did Medieval Knights? Everybody's familiar with Medieval Knights? Yeah. Did Medieval Knights? Gavin and Google did medieval nights. Everybody's familiar with medieval nights. Yeah, did medieval nights

Either Gavin or Google wanted to know Did medieval nights have special toilets and the other ones know did medieval nights use guns Did medieval nights use guns Chris which one said which are free behind by one point did Medieval nights use guns as Google? Okay, Barbara? Yeah, I like that answer too, but this is the last one. No, you're gonna play it, play it to win. I'm gonna say use guns is...

Gavin. You are incorrect, Chris. You are correct. We have a tie as we always do in Kevin's room. I love it when nobody wins. So actually, the Google 102 questions, the main top two, which was, did medieval knights use guns? And the other one, which I still do what we want to use, which was, did medieval knights really exist?

Hahaha. People don't know. I mean, I get the train of thought, which was Did Me Needle Knights really exist? Ha ha ha ha ha People know I mean, I get the straight into thought why King Arthur is a fictional character or a fictionalized character So therefore I guess they would think that maybe Knights didn't really exist either But how could you not know that Knights are like a real thing? That would actually be- Turn Knights today!

I mean, he exists right now One of the best things about being a knight in full armor is that people think you're still working if you just leave your outfit hung up. What is that? If you're guarding a door and you just get out of the suit and just leave it stood there, you can just go and have a nap or something like this.

They might think you're better at it either. Yeah, I think there's nowhere the job way. Just by hanging up your clothes, you can still be doing your work. Okay, this is like third grade bullshit what I'm gonna show. I mean, she's dead finger thing here. Okay, watch. You're gonna have to touch my hand though. All right, so take your hand and put it up your clothes you can still be doing your work. Okay, this is like third grade bullshit What I'm sure I'm she's dead finger thing here. You're gonna touch my hand Alright, so take your hand put it up

No, take your hand put up like this Lower lower all your fingers, but your little finger Oh, and then you just twist it and you like that. I feel like that do that I Is that weird? Oh Yeah, it's creepy why was that we're you take makes like the field of friends finger I don't want to stop you do a department. You're the college with bar. People want to watch you touch barber anyway Fucking raise a little bit. Oh Right Chris you look like you're about to say something really important to all of

us. I've got quite an important things to say. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform that makes it fast and easy to create your own professional website or online portfolio. Squarespace is constantly improving their platform with new features, new designs, and even better support. They have beautiful designs for you to start with, and a ton of style options so you can create a unique website for you or your business.

They recently released new customizable templates. Every design automatically includes a mobile version, so your content looks great on every device every time. A big thanks for all the tweets you sent last week for the hashtag Ruchitete Squarespace giveaway. Here are the first five lucky recipients that have a gift pack headed their way. Brendan Cros. Joe Gomez. Jeremy Dooley. Trenton Elliott. Lauren Crosier. And we still want to see more great square space sites It's in this a tweet with a link to your square space website to hashtag Ruchitith square space

And we'll take congratulations guys. Yeah, yeah, now I don't know everybody on there, but I do know Lauren She does all that. I remember she does a bunch of artwork. She does a bunch of artwork based on Ruchit podcast Cheetah hundred actually my Twitter banner is Drawing that she did it's like adventure time style with cat bug. Yeah, that's my Twitter banner is drawing that she did is like adventure time style with cat bug. That's my Twitter banner. What do you call that? I think it's called the banner. Picture. No, it's called something else. Image. The big picture. Twitter. What the fuck is that called? What's it called on Facebook? Banner. It is? Yeah. It's a cool cover photo. Yeah.

So, send us your sites, your Squarespace sites, could be mentioned in a future episode. And we have five more lucky people, could get a cool Squarespace gift pack with a free t-shirt and free mullskin netbook, notebook. So send us a tweet with a link to your Squarespace website using the hashtag, Ruchotif Squarespace. And other five winners for the Squarespace gift pack will be selected before September 30th. Bum bum bum. That's awesome. I did it on the internet.

Yeah, I know. I saw a bunch of tweets from people who were tweeting the hashtag and look at them. They were wondering. In fact, one of the people that contacted me literally just today was Lauren on Twitter. She can DM me because we follow each other and she was saying you know who's like judging the stuff and anything because she's been contacted them so that's really cool I'm glad to see that I have to go check out the other ones because I haven't had a chance to see them myself yet but I will definitely go take a look at what happened what would happen if you told two people to follow each other in real life but you didn't

let them know so you'd be like hey you follow him and I secretly you private eyes to follow each other I want to do that in a big open place, like a big square or something. And then just see- Square space. See- Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- That would be amazing because what would happen is they would see each other looking at each other. They'd both think of it. I'm busted and they'd go to leave and they'd go, oh no, I'm okay. And then they'd start to follow each other and be really funny. Let's do it.

That's why there's two private investigators. Can you hire a private investigator? Does that even work? Yeah. Probably. I mean, does it work the way we think it does? Is it a dude in a trench coat like walking around far off somebody? I don't think it's a trench coat.

No, yeah. That would like go and take pictures of your wife with a dude or something. I feel like. Would they? That'd be awesome. I feel like a lot. Right, I'm asking it. Just Google a lot. You know?

Have you ever heard of the Frank evidence? I was hot. Where someone called a Chinese food restaurant and they said, give me a second, I want you to repeat the order back to my roommate or something. And then they called another Chinese place. So they were repeating the order to this place that was taking the order and they're just like yeah 25 95 and they're like what? No that's you and they kept going back and forth. I wonder if it's ever got to the point where one place delivered to the other place. It is the header by the

way that's what I was looking for the header thank you to everybody who is yelling at me on Twitter it is a header picture so I don't know if I should bring up the store on the podcast. You have to now. Well, it's about you. Go ahead. What is it? I actually told me a story. What is it?

Is it past butthole? Um, am I allowed to tell the story? What is it? Yeah, you're allowed to tell it. So, what is the story? No, what is it? What are you telling stories for? I'll tell the story about you in New Year's.

Apparently. So you know how you get the comment, honey, doesn't spoil a lot on Twitter. Oh, yeah. So apparently, Bernie found honey and is like cabinet and saw that it was a little bit crystallized. Really crystallized. And threw it out. And Ashley was looking for the honey and she saw it, it was thrown out and she said why did you tear it out and Bernie said well, it's gone bad I thought she didn't wait all the time I do it all the time and I realized as soon as I said it how stupid that was I told

I wouldn't tell it on the podcast When Chris don't yeah, apparently they say it doesn't go bad But it turns like white now I know you're talking about you just put in the microwave for a couple of seconds No, or you buy another one because you're an adult and you have a job That's the other you do and honey Yeah, I'm gonna get fucking crystallized honey. It's already be vomit. That's enough That's enough of a fucking compliment Dude I watched a video today of a bee. This was it was like 300 frames a second a queen bee

flying onto a worker bee drone bee in the air. And then she instead of like this is the mating process. She like grabs his body, rips out the sperm and then he falls to the ground dead. It was savage. Just like real life. Yeah. Yeah. Hold this sperm out out of his body.

Well, how does that? What do you go? Sounds hot. Chris is so flabbergasted. No man like... Chris is like why can't I meet somebody nice? And a queen will do this they'll keep like raping all these drones in the air and stall the sperm in these little pods and the sperm could survive for eight years. Menel. So bees have like the whole not-iling thing cover. Yeah, this spun the spoil. Nothing goes bad. Nothing goes bad. And eight years to a B is way it's way longer. How long is the generations of bees? Well, I can think the queen lives for

long time. I don't know how any long anything lives. Like the bus in Los Angeles, I believe live like 24 hours and that's it. No idea. Yeah, some of us. Some of us are the day. God, like, Dicks man. What is it? We've had a particularly, it's got actually got better all the way to the beginning of the summer with brutal for mosquitoes. And I live down by the river.

Yeah. Watching TV. And you have a pool. Yeah, watching TV outside of your place. Bugs will fly into you, but they're not like, oh, it's the kind of bug that hits you, and you recoil because it was so hard to think. It makes a sound on someone else's glass. It's just like bouncing off your head.

Man, one of the best things that happened when we were out there swimming one night for weird night swimming and a bird came really low down by the pool and we realized it wasn't a bird, it was a bat. And I was like, why just says bird that? Well, because that one tells the whole story. It's a story that's happening. It's real time. Keep up.

And the kids were like, they were all excited. And then they thought I was a bat And then they were kind of like freaked out. I'm like no, this is awesome And they want to be a chase away the bat I'm like that bad is gonna eat every bug in this yard I love the situation where people panic when the situation hasn't changed at all exactly that perception of the situation like This is kind of different, but I was once a water park. I think a baby had just shit on the floor But I was once at a water park and I think a baby had just shit on the floor

Kara is laughing hysterically and now I was looking at this turn on the floor I was like is that turn? It's probably the piece of shit and then like it turned out to be turned and some girl was just like walking up in the line behind me and Sturder right on it and was just like stood in it for like five minutes because we were waiting in line for the ride She's like moving her feet like And we're just like stood in it for like five minutes because we were waiting in line for the ride. She's like moving her feet like, like, swishing it around. And then one of her friends is like, you're stepped in shit.

And even though she'd been stood in crap for five minutes, she freaked out. Like, like, like freaking out now is going to do anything about it. But just that sudden shock, even though the situation didn't change at all. That happens to you a lot. I love that. One time at our pool,

there was like a little dark thing at the bottom of the pool what that we thought originally was shit that's a kid left in the pool and you were like flipping your shit yeah and you were trying to get out and I'm like oh no I think it's just a rock and you're like okay that is the worst though if you bend a pool and there's like a little turd in it it's like that ruins the whatever swimming adventure it's a longer pool definitely I mean it's a toilet what if you got out of the pool and then shot into Lean down. Oh, okay, okay, we got We can all picture it in our heads

We'll see get her nothing in the situation is changed and you're all upset We'll see you have nothing in the situation as she has changed and you're all upset. I'm saying we're Adam's dog, Rebel. No one will let me keep Joe the cat here, even though everybody in the audience loves Joe the cat. Joe the cat can't be here because everybody bitches in the bottom or three people bitch in the bottom. That's two. I realize that's a three and no up two fingers.

It's Matt and Gus. Basically don't like Joe. Did you even count like this? Even, yeah, did you count like that? Whatever. So Matt and Gus, uh, those, like, it's accounting. So it's like, these fucking assholes. Matt and Gus, Monty is another reason why the kid can't be here.

Because Monty can die coming in contact with the cat, die. But, uh, Monty doesn't care. Monty likes Joe. In fact, Monty, we had Breaking Bad Night at my house. We're not gonna talk about Breaking Bad. But we had Breaking Bad Night at my house. We're all sitting down to eat in the backyard, getting ready to watch the show. All of a sudden, we had breaking bad night at my house We're not gonna talk about breaking bad, but we had breaking bad night at my house We're all sitting down to eat in the backyard getting ready to watch the show all of us up We all look up and Monty's in my house wondering to my house

You can't even watch this Monty in your house. I was like, oh, yeah Monty comes out has food they go all right Monty We're about to start the show so he goes yeah, I'll leave okay, so he gets up and leaves I thought at first that you didn't invite him, that he just happened to show up. I always invite Monty, but I always do. He was just all of a sudden sat next to me with a sausage in hand and then he left. Yeah.

It's really like his money shows up for like, spraking bad night, but he shows up for the food. Yeah. And then leaves the sausage for the show. The sausages that we had. Sashes and Brussels. Those were good last night.

Everything was delicious. That was good. We had chicken and jalapeno sausage last night I'm always lucky and then we had a chicken black bean tequila lime So it's too many that's too many things this I got from Whole Foods Yeah, yeah, was army last night about the way I say Whole Foods We both say Whole Foods Whole Foods. You an unseated on the whole Stay whole day right now

and then see it on the whole. I don't know what they are saying. Just like, Imagine this is what you're saying? Just like, just like, Just like, Say it as a sentence.

I went to Whole Whole food. He's in his own head. Look at him. How do you do that? Whole food. He's lost his mind!

Whole foods. I think you're a deer caught in the headlight. So you and I stayed on the whole food? I didn't even know now. Forever in my mind. Whole food. Whole foods. I'm gonna go to Whole Foods.

Whole Foods. Whole Foods. Putting emphasis on the wrong word is weird. Well the wrong syllable is weird. Wrong syllables is weird. That's definitely weird. We put emphasis. Because that's a word, so it's like Bernie. Yeah.

Yeah. It can be an odd thing. Barbarra. Barbarra. Barbarra. I like calling Bernie and Bernando. Do you? Yeah. I picked up on that.

I say it all the time. Man, listen. It's too much effort. I'm like Gavin now. To speak to your sausage and stuff, being in people's throats. When you choked the other day, Yes. On a scale of 1 to 10, how worried were you that you were like gonna pass out from choking?

Oh, I thought it was gone. Like, you would like seriously watch the concert I had was not that I couldn't get past the choking part. Well, just because you were laughing and nobody was going to do it. I couldn't stop laughing. And it's like, that was exacerbating the situation. It's like, but I still can stop laughing. And I somehow found that funny as well. And I was like, that's why no one took it seriously

and followed you at Thai because you were laughing. Is that the worst you've ever choked? No, one time when I was in college, we were working on the house we all lived in. And I was up on the third floor. And my Takaru was down on the first floor and he kept yelling upstairs and it was in the summer we didn't have air conditioning in the house, who the fuck knows why, and I was upstairs and I was hottest could be and I've been working and everybody else has gone and he's yelling from the first floor burns burns just to be yelling

over and over again and I was drinking out of a Three-liter bottle of Mountain Dew like And finally he yelled one too many times and I went to go yell what But unfortunately I didn't remove the bottle from my mouth and I went I went Every I breathe in like probably I feel like half a cup of mountain dew into my lungs I just I was drowning Building I'm mom do I was like

And then I had the gross thing ever I leaned over and I made this noise like this I went And now dude like literally It didn't like I didn't spit it out. It poured out of my lungs, because you don't spit shit out. It poured out. Like I held my head down. It was like gravity. How many vomiting is pouring out of a picture? And then I chewed the most razzly breath after I chewed it.

It was painful. it was painful as shit and that's exactly what I did on a smaller scale in the conference room the other day how many leases you are? how many leases could you hold? in a human being or just for any of them oh man, I was going to be this thing online apparently it was just this thing like for people who get really really sick

like it bronchitis and I know that's like somebody in the office that recently had bronchitis if they want to out themselves they can. Um but apparently if people get it really bad there's this thing called a bronchial cast which is you cough it up and it's basically like the tree structure of your lung is perfectly preserved in this thing that you cough up. Well so you can unravel it. No it's like a it's I'll show you a picture of one of these. Hey, Brandon, look up.

This is gonna be gross for people watching live. I deserve it. I'm gonna warn you right now. Look up a bronchial cast. Isn't the structure... We need to get dinosaur. You think bronchial eats spell bronchial? You don't have to picture a bully bronchosaurus.

All right, Brandon. V. We're gonna have fucking Dino from the flicks. It's the broken leg I've been brain is there like fears like oh shit oh shit Six liters of air is pretty different to that one Like that's something cough that up What is that?

That's a bronchial cat So it's that goop that went into that Yeah, you cough the goop and it cracked the structure of your bronchial tubes as you coughed it up. You have to admit coughing that thing up would be fucking amazing. It would feel great. You'd be like yeah if you had that thing in you like spiky like I don't know how would it scratch your throat? You'd have to be really really sick to cough a really wide throat. I have a really wide throat too. Well your throat is going to be wider than your bronchial teeth. That's regardable.

There is some weird satisfying, like, there's a lot of satisfying moments. Like one is like a good sneeze satisfying, right? Another one is when you have a cough and you finally get that like break in the cough right, like you feel like your cough in liquid is like, it's like you break, that's a really satisfying feeling for you. When you cough up mucus. No, you just like the fur, like when, for a lot of the time, the cough isn't going away,

you're just coughing, but as soon as you cough, it's not when they call a productive cough. Yeah, but as soon as you move something with the cough, it's like, ah, it was good that, that's satisfying. Got it, got rid of it. There's a lot of weird things like that that are just naturally satisfying to a human. I think the best one is when you're eating

and you get really, really full and then you burp. Yeah, and you get that release. And you get that release. It's usually to do with release, like build ups and releases. Yeah, usually the word release means like a sense of release in a good way. Relief. All right, what's a bad release?

Uh, it's a challenge. Your life? I'm tired of it. Huh? Dire, yeah. Dire, yeah. Maybe. But. Yeah, but. Your life? Tyria? Tyria? Maybe But yeah, but like I'd say a bad release would be like say you're with a dude who does a huge ball sack You're pushing them back and your hand slips and you get the stud

That'd be a pretty bad release Is that a good example? Yeah, sure That dude with the giant balls go on the car often, right? Who? The dude would like the the big old oh You mean the guy who an elephant tightest. Oh, that's different in his balls. No, you're seeing that this is rich sits on them Like he's like a they got it the walks around with like his legs on both like it

It's a it's a circulatory thing isn't it where you collect fluid in a certain part of your body. Are you okay? Barber's not okay. Why do we always have to like self-parts you know how they balance? I don't know we actually showed it we actually showed a really gross image up there that's really get me as much as that wasn't gross that was cool. Yeah. People are telling me not to say the word exacerbate why? Is that what it is what's wrong with you people? Is that what they're saying? Because it sounds like masturbate. Is that what it is? What's wrong with you people? Is that what they're saying? Because it sounds like masturbate. No, they're saying don't say that word.

Oh, what about masturbate? Make a problem worse. What if you really like chewing? It's exacerbate means. It's make a problem worse. masturbate is make a problem better. A lot better. Good release.

What's one thing that could only be made worse by masturbation? What's one thing that only maybe you made worse? Yeah, by masturbation. What's one thing that only maybe you made worse? Yeah, by masturbation. By dirty laundry. I don't know. What do you want me to get like, what, you know, being in a playground probably? What?

I think I'm going to be in the middle of the night. I think I'm going to be in the middle of the night. Is there any down side to masturbation? Yeah, like, where's the worst case scenario as far as masturbation? You end up in jail, pretty much every possible event where you can masturbate. What's made worse? You say? Yeah.

Anything. Well, I mean, those are two good examples. No, laundry. I mean, masturbation in 96% of cases is going to get you in trouble, right? It is, it's a little like, what are you going to do? We're way off the rails. Yeah, this is like your themed podcast it's like, we're way off the rails. You have this like, you're themed podcast. So like, is master basically,

we've talked about even like, sand, side of pool and pee in the pool. Yeah. Like the whole body, grooming thing, the mastervation is like, it blinks, if self maintenance,

that's the lowest, right? You can't do anything else to your body that would get you in jail faster. Uh, yeah, to yourself, yeah. Yeah, pick your nose and like that people you know, you know, well, you know, I'm sitting on a like a subway and I'm just like clean my hair vigorously. That's nowhere near me. Like masterpiece a whole different level. I think maybe thumbing your coming your asshole. Is that part of your self-management?

What? What is this all you do when you're saying? No. It's an out-of-the-art regular thing. What? I don't know. It's a normal, normal, acceptable self-management. What if you just cut something off?

But you didn't have to say that. No, I see. No, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I should never thumbed my ass. Right. Here's a question. Keep going. You can talk about it if you want want to it's fine. This is a safe place

Would you be more offended? Would you be more offended if you're in a pool and someone pees in the pool versus someone masturbating to the pool? It's way worse, right? It's way worse But would you but suddenly if you want to hang out with a dude who peed in the pool? Suddenly you want to be friends with that. No, but here's a question. Would you be? More offended like you may not want to be friends with them. No, but here's a question. Would you be more offended? Like you may not want to be in the pool. Would you be more offended? Or would you feel complemented? Because it's like you pee on something. It's a sign of disrespect. There's never...

No, no, it's not. It's all't understand. Like the classic thing to do of disrespect, pissing a grave, coming on a grave equally bad, if not worse, right? It's all the charts. It's all the charts. It's all the charts. You don't want to see this person from this date to this date, streak of semen, that's offensive.

What if it's like your old wife or something like it's like? Well, she wouldn't want that. You don't know. Oh, come on, like at homage? Come on. No, it's true, the Gavin's like, if you met a guy, he's like, yeah, there was this guy. I used my rival, my whole life.

I hated this guy. We were getting rid of company that was against mine. He drove me out of business. And all that. Then I went and he died before me. He like, yeah, I got something to dig. Yeah, and I went just graveven I jerked off like what That's the moment you lose to the person's like yeah wait you didn't wait what you do

Okay, so how about this and just a fuck with the guys about your fucking crazy How about this first situation? You know that some people it's just like you get comfortable with someone you fought and then Kind of like I just fight it the other person's like ah come on dude if you were just like, you get comfortable with someone, you fart. And then, kind of like, I just farted. And the other person's like, ah, come on, dude. If you were just like, I just came. What scenarios are you guys thinking of right now? Well, would you be on a plane to Scotland? Would you be?

I do. Just as an example, we're gonna throw. We're gonna throw one out there. Let's just throw that out as an example. You know what you clean that? know right? Yeah, no Chris I'm looking at Chris. Oh, let's not Reaction all stuff Hey, it's he put a story in the podcast. You filled his pants on the plane what dream?

Yeah, I love it man. Yeah, that was good. That was good. It was on the way back So it's a bathroom what happened then what's that you just throwing stuff away You just throwing stuff away Yeah, like when you went up like down did you have the post see pitch? Maybe no, I don't think so because I was I was going No, actually I Do a smart thing an international flight. I actually pack a change of clothes Yeah, just if you're like just in case you ejaculate.

No, that is a happy side effect. That is the safety valve that I had. No, it was, I always pack like a toothbrush, deodorant, and got the baby wipes like the greatest thing on the planet. Just like baby wipes. Yeah, what they call, what they just wipes, whatever. Cleaning wipes? The wipe in your face. Yeah, wipe your face off and wipe it like in the monk Even even like you your underarms so the weird thing is this is one of the few things where the act is illegal

but the thing you're trying to achieve isn't we go ahead like wet dreaming on a plane Isn't illegal. I don't think I don't think you can be arrested. I'd be a funny thing to get right You got me you got to you got to have some more restraint when you're in your dreams I don't think I don't think you can be arrested. I'd be having funny things to get arrested. Sorry sir. You got me. You got to have some more restraint when you're in your dreams. But, monk in it on a plane. It's still an embarrassing story. Monk in off on a plane, definitely illegal.

No, total, is it though? If you go into a restroom, if you go into a restroom, and you're in a restroom, pretty much everything's. But is restroom still considered a public place? No. You're doing things in there that if somebody did them outside the door, you'd be really... Okay, so you're the owner of a company. You are called Rucytis, right?

I am. So you have a lot of say and, you know, what rules are basically? I have a significant amount of say. Now, if you found out that people were munkin it at work in the bathroom Would you make a rule that said no munkin it? No, is it off limits? Is it off limits to do that? You can't whack it work. Can you? You listen to people in the bathroom. I mean there's stuff in the bathroom Barbara Barbara what you're in on your face very tell me no it's an entertaining idea Barbara I think I think wherever goes on the bathroom is it's an entertaining idea. Barbara. I think whatever goes on in the bathroom is,

it's a bathroom. What if, some people are here very late. Barbara. Look, you're gonna come with a lot of scenarios. I can come up with a lot of similar scenarios for other stuff you do in the bathroom. Like, you're gonna come up with scenarios

like what if something ends up somewhere? If I went in the bathroom and there was stuff on the walls, regardless of where it came from, what part of your body came from, that would be everyone it knows. We don't need to go over those rules. It's accepted that everything goes in a place. And as long as everything ends up in a place,

and it goes away with the rest of the stuff in that place, then we're, I think, everything's fine. I'm not sure. Clearly, that's not accepted normal behavior, but if it's in the bathroom, it's in the bathroom. Bobber looks like she wants to say something. No, you just keep staring at me. I didn't do that every time I went to the bathroom, but he would completely take off all his clothes.

I'm serious. He would do that all of his clothes. He thought that was totally normal. It's like in the university. He did this guy in the university. I had to do it work. When I went to the soup market, he just used to take a shot and tie off what he dumped. It's a thing that some people do.

I've gone to the bathroom where I see like, people on the side of that. They pull their pants down to the floor. And you're like, and he's like, it's just a normal thing. So, but you might not know about this. You're I know. Yeah, so when you go to urinal, there's like, you just go to the urinal, you know,

you unbutton and do your business. That's it. Yeah There are some dudes who go all they go all the way that nobody is the fly except a jack apparently jack said he uses the Fog dangerous. Hey, I think he uses the fly and is the whole the whole the whole underwear That's what they're designed for no, no what people are but that's like I don't know if you mean it. I can't say anything That's like I kind of stuff in a tiny dick out those. Yeah, I like teeth. They're literally teeth I don't but anything. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time.

You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time.

You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time.

You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck the time. You have to suck He was selling us his fingers and going together when he has teeth in his face. Yum, yum, yum, yum. But there's some of you two will go up to urinal and they will drop trowel and underwear down to their knees. Like, that's how they do it. Like, they're asses all hanging out and everything. That's just the way they do it. Why would you do that?

I, it's just the way if nobody ever corrects you and nobody ever corrects anybody in the bathroom. Because that's the whole point of using a urinal. It's like you use it, but you're like very contained. Yeah, not no one's looking at anyone Sometimes when I was a little kid like part of learning bathroom stuff Was like my dad was like all right, so you go to the bathroom and you know you kind of like shake it you go doot doot Like shake it to like you know get the shakes is okay Yeah, you shake it master shake it. You go, doot-doot. Like shake it to like, you know, get the... Two shakes is okay.

Yeah, you shake it. You're not that masterbent. Did he use the sound effect though? Yeah, he used the sound effect. And so like, I would always... Oh no! So, every time I went to the bathroom... Oh no!

I'd feed, I go, doot-doot. Ah! And until I get a little too old to the point where it's like, my dad was like, you know, Christopher, you don't have to go doot-doot. I'm like, really? I can't help that. Because vocals can sometimes, I don't know.

But it's like, and you've been in journals before and like, dumbed the doot-doot. I don't know exactly how old I got into the point, but my dad, at a certain point was like, just, you don't have to go doot-doot. It's right when you're a teenager and you're in your clothes bedroom going, doot-doot-doot-doot-doot-doot-doot. You go, dude, dude. It's right when you're a teenager and you're in your clothes bedroom going, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude.

It's just like, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. Tonight we learn the rhythm of everyone's masturbation. Gavin seems a little more climatic. He thumbs his ass a little while he does it. Alright, well how did they help? What else do we need to talk about? We have completely gone over everything. What is something that you believe for the longest time that you learned as a kid?

Oh fuck, there was a word. I was trying to figure out what it was. You know how like A-fect and E-fect are two different words? Yeah. And they mean like ones of verb to affect something and one is the effect that's the noun. I thought there was another word that was like that. It was two different spellings of the word for different parts of speech and I just learned like in the last two years that that wasn't true. I can't remember what the fucking word was. God, what was that? I don't think about it,

but what was yours? What's the thing you believe for the longest amount of time? Do you surprised? Someone had told my older brother, I think it was the first or second grade that this meant thank you. No way. Like another kid in his class, I guess. So the teacher handed him something one time and he went like this at her and he got sent to the principal's office. And he learned from that? How long did he believe that? He did after that. A couple, I think it was like a week or something. So it says nothing to do with the question you asked.

No, I know. I thought it was like a week or something. So it says nothing to do with the question you asked. No, I know. I was, I thought it was funny. I was too busy laughing during sex education that I wasn't really paying attention. And I thought you pissed. How long did you think that? Probably until I was eight or something. Oh, okay.

Wouldn't you have sex education in the UK? I don't know. I'm not five, I guess. No, we have it at like seventh grade, six or seventh grade, right? I'm trying to remember. I think I missed it. I mean, I think I moved out of grade here and I think in that year is when I got, like it was different year on different states. Right. So I think I missed the sex ed.

Will you just confuse or is it? No, I mean, what did that ever teach you, kid? I know someone who thought two very common phrases, the play it by ear, phrase and the wolf it down. This guy thought, and he's 21 now. He thought up until about a couple of weeks ago that it was play it by ear and wolf it down, like a dog. Wolf.

Wolf it down. I run to people all the time who don't understand, they get expressions wrong all the time. I had a cousin who thought Ignoramus was Ignoramus. Ha-ha. What? Like, you know, you-you know,

oh, you're such an Ignoramus. Like, oh, you such an Ignoramus. Like, you ignore Moose. You pronounced it wrong. What? Ha-ha. What? What? No, someone says it was a pit of me. No, that was a word I misunderstood for a long time.

The epitome. When I thought the word epitome, I knew that was a word. But for some reason whenever I read it, I thought there was a different word epitome. That was just like, I'd never put two and two together and then finally thought about it. I think I had that with Negotiate. I read it a lot and I couldn't pronounce it and I used I knew the word negotiate and I was like oh that's what that is.

No it's one of the it's a word I'm thinking I was like one of those words words like people put it A where there should be an E and I could have sworn that there were two versions of the word I don't know why I thought that forever and it's like Jeff thought penultimate was pent ultimate. Pent ultimate? Yeah. And people that's a grand idea to use that. And I'm going to use that as when people used the word penultimate. There's always somebody there to correct you

and tell you how you're using the word incorrectly. Well, because people use it as like the ultimate. Right. It's the penultimate reason. And it's like, no, penultimate is the one before. And alter an alter maybe? That you're thinking of? No.

No. Nope. Because that's E and N A. Got it, people are just reminding me of all. Oh, it was. Thank you very much. So Dragon Flair on Twitter reminded me what it was. It was a word separate, separate. I thought separate was when you separate things.

And separate is when things are separate. That's what I thought it was. I thought separate had an E there for the verb, which was, which is, I'm telling you, I probably did that wrong up until like two or three years ago Wow, yeah, I thought there was a word separate with an E that meant to separate things and you used one as a verb and one as an Agitator actually makes sense there I guess no Great grossiest like gracious for a really long time and I

It's like gracious for a really long time and I I'd like a couple of weeks ago I'd be like telling someone on aim thank you and be like gracious yeah I'm very curious. I think you've got that. Well I feel like going crazy in Twitter and giving us examples. This is one that drives me crazy. When people say I could care less that's completely the opposite of the meaning of that phrase. Yeah. The phrase that couldn't care less. I'd be like a couple of weeks ago. I'd be like telling someone on AIM, thank you. I'd be like gracious.

Yeah, I'm very gracious. Well, I'd be like going crazy in Twitter and giving us examples. This is one that drives me crazy. When people say I could care less, that's completely the opposite of the meaning of that phrase. Fraze that couldn't care less. I'd be like a couple of weeks ago.

I'd be like telling someone on AIM, thank you. I'd be like gracious. Yeah, I'm very gracious. Well, I'd be like going crazy in Twitter and giving us examples. This is one that drives me crazy. When people say I could care less, that's completely the opposite of the meaning of that phrase.

Fraze that couldn't care less. I'd be like a couple of weeks ago. I'd be like telling someone on AIM, thank you. I'd be like gracious. Yeah, I'm very gracious. Boy, I feel like I'm going crazy in Twitter and giving us examples. This is one that drives me crazy.

When people say I could care less, that's completely the opposite of the meaning of that phrase. Fraze that couldn't care less. I'd be like a couple of weeks ago. I'd be like telling someone on AIM, thank you. I'd be like gracious. Yeah, I'm very gracious. Well, I'd be like going crazy in Twitter and giving us

examples. This is one that drives me crazy. When people say I could care less, that's completely the opposite of the meaning of that phrase. Fraze that couldn't care less. I'd be like a couple of weeks ago. I'd be like telling someone on AIM, thank you. I'd be like gracious.

Yeah, I'm very gracious. Well, I'd be like going crazy in Twitter and giving us examples. This is one that drives me crazy. When people say I could care less, that's completely the opposite of the meaning of that phrase. Fraze that couldn't care less. I'd be like a couple of weeks ago.

I'd be like telling someone on AIM, thank you. I'd be like gracious. Gracious. Yeah, I'm very gracious. Boy, I'd be like going crazy in Twitter and giving us examples. This is one that drives me crazy. When people say I could care less, that's completely the opposite of the meaning of that phrase.

Fraze that couldn't care less. I'd be like a couple of weeks ago. I'd be like telling someone on AIM, thank you. I'd be like gracious. Yeah, I'm very gracious. Yeah, I think you can. Boy, I feel like I'm going crazy in Twitter and giving us examples.

This is one that drives me crazy. When people say I could care less, that's completely the opposite of the meaning of that phrase. Fraze that couldn't care less. Well, Americans do that. What? That's an American thing. Yeah, meaning of that phrase. Yeah. The phrase that couldn't care less. Well, Americans do that. What? That's an American thing. Yeah, I could care less.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So I think we're done. We've been going for an hour and a half now. Chris, you're the host. So do you want to tell us we have to quit?

Well, I think it's time to quit. Can we mention one more thing before we go out? Yeah, go for it. There's going to be a live podcast next Monday at the State Theater in Austin, Texas. Austin, Texas. We're going to be shooting stuff at the State Theater so we're going to be filming a podcast for a live audience that night. I think tickets already half sold out. They're up on our website. They should be on the homepage. And yeah, it also is going to be streamed on YouTube. So it's not just a sponsor podcast

next week. And there's a possibility because we'll be shooting it while we're shooting gauntlet season two, the competition part that there are some of our guests could be there as well. So if you're a Freddie W fan as well, he's one of the only people we've announced so far, right? I can see you. Yeah. He'll be there too.

We didn't even announce any other teams or anything like that. Nope, not yet. So, we'll have to watch. Okay, great. A little thanks for tuning in and hopefully Gus will return soon. I actually don'll have to watch. Okay, great. A little thanks for tuning in and hopefully gust will return soon. I actually don't even know when gust is coming back. He is back after the fight.

He was flying his flight. Oh right, he was flying. He was flying, he was flying, he was on his flight. Alright, thanks for tuning in guys. I love you. I love you. You're about to be educated motherfucker. Describe this show to a newcomer in a more familiar way.

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Listen to show name on Apple Spotify or wherever you get podcasts. It's f**k face, a podcast. Subscribe or no, you do yes?