Rooster Teeth Podcast - RT Podcast #245

Episode Date: November 19, 2013

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It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers, Will Arnet and Anthony Mackie comes a new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motormouth outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnet, and Thomas Hayden Church. Twisted metal, streaming now, only on Peacock. This episode of the Routier Podcast is brought to you by Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus lets you binge on thousands of hitshow. Any time, anywhere, on your TV, PC, smartphone, or tap. Support this podcast and get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus when you go to HuluPlus.com-Rustertheat. That's HuluPlus.com-Rustertheat. This podcast is brought to you by audible dot com and an it's leading provider of audio books with more than 150,000 downloadable titles across

all types of literature, including fiction, nonfiction, and periodic. For free audio book of your choice, go to audiblepodcast.com slash RT. That's audiblepodcast.com slash RT. RT Hey everyone Welcome to the podcast now with a hundred percent more Joel and Bernie. Yes, so this week Gus Gavin Joel Bernie Gus. Oh, who's good to see you Gus? You're Joel. That's all you got to worry about or about Joel. See on top of that We were racing across the country today to make it back for this podcast. Gavin and I started today in Los Angeles, California. Yeah, and they ended here in Austin, Texas.

People get so worried about you guys. We're sitting here, you know, we're getting ready. I'm getting my makeup done. Everyone's like, are Gavin and Bernie coming? They told me they are. Even people here in the office. Yeah, do they know that they're on the podcast? Yeah, then they're like, where are they? Like, I don't know. Gavin told me they are. Even people here in the office. Do they know that they're on the podcast? Yeah.

Then they're like, where are they? I don't know. Gavin said he just landed. Is he on his way now? I don't fucking know. I'm not in the mood. He told me he's on his way. I didn't fucking give him a ride. But it's good though that they're that concerned because if it were, listen around this office,

you have to be that concerned about things. Because, well, because I mean, a lot of times, people write scripts and then you're in the script and you don't know you're in the script and then they email you and they go, you're ready to shoot that script, you're like, I didn't know I was in the script.

And obviously, not enough concern there on the communication, I'm just saying. I don't like that. You're specifically talking about two or three people. I'm just saying. You name my name if you want to. I mean, all of a sudden, it's like, hey, you're ready to do that thing.

And I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about. That has happened. The concern. Are you ready to do that today? It's like, do what? Yes. Script. So not enough concern.

You think this is concerned, but not apparently. But you're going the opposite direction. That would be like, if you showed up here, and you didn't know there was a podcast and that you were going to be on it, you're going the opposite direction. He says that people are worried like the cast is not gonna show up Yeah, you're thinking he's still I'm worried about I'm concerned about everything. I gotta say that I do wish my mind's my concern as I'm concerned about it all still haven't those unrecorded saying he's concerned about everything

I'm concerned about everything. I do there is a thing there where the world Once you to be stressed for example today We were we got to the airport pretty late You need to be at the airport 45 minutes before if you want to check back supposedly and I was like 35 minutes before She was like I put up with my two bags. I was like she's she's told me I was late. I was like yeah Well, yeah, I know can I check these bags or I know she was like last late She was like putting red tags in it and rushing on it's like are they gonna get to the plane? She's like yeah, I was like what's the problem then and then she gave me my boarding pass and she was like, oh, that's late. And she was like putting red tags in it and rushing. And I was like, are they gonna get to the plane? And she's like, yeah, I was like, what's the problem then?

And then she gave me my boarding pass. And she was like, runs. And I was like, she didn't do shit with that fly you fool. You are part of their economic model. And the economic model, you have to be part of their efficiency model. But I just refuse to be stressed out. She told me to run. So I very leisurely stroll through security.

I thought, if I make it don't make it What are land you fly American were you on the same flight with those two guys coming back from Australia Jordan and Monty. No, no No, they back are they in the US. Yeah, they got to the office like 15 minutes before you guys really yeah It's possible they could have been on the one of the flights from LA over to Austin right because that they've go from LA on the one of the flights from LA over to Austin, right? Because they've got from LA from Australia. Oh, they flew from Dallas? Oh, okay.

That's funny, because when I was coming out, you know, you leave like the security clean area, and this has big red line that if you cross it, you're not getting back in no matter what. There was a guy waiting there with two kids, and he was asking, because we were like a big group of people walking together, goes, you guys American, are you American?

You American? Yeah, you know American Airlines, yeah. And he goes, I go, we just landed on American from Los Angeles. And he goes, not Dallas, and I go, no. And he goes, you sure? And I'm like, I'm really sure I came from. Oh, no, wait, you're right.

Yeah, I was in Dallas. Yeah, I was in LA. It wasn't in LA. They had the big Dallas sign on the hills. I get confused between the two. So I'm going to do that same thing you've been doing today. I was talking about Black Light Retribution.

Gavin and I went to the PlayStation 4 launch event in New York. We were there last week I got about it. Yeah, it was awesome. You should have come. It was great. We played PlayStation 4 games But one of the games I was playing was a black light retribution, which is a free-to-play shooter one of the launch titles for PS4 And I was talking about it online or retweeted a photo that zombie studios put up and a guy goes, you guys, that came to be on PC forever and I go, oh, well then I guess you're right. I guess I didn't have a good time playing this. I guess I had a shitty time.

Let me run for correcting me. That's fucking funny. And you know what response was gusty? You love this. You're welcome. I'm just trolling. I'm on an asshole. Cool.

I'm just being an asshole. He's just being an asshole for fun. Totally different. But he's not an No, he just being an asshole. He's just being an asshole for fun. Yeah, totally different. But he's not an asshole. No, not at all. He's just being an asshole. Did you see, I guess you're talking about playing through everything about this.

Did you see the video of that plane crashing in Russia? What? Burdle. Is it recent? Yeah, it happened like two or three days ago. It's brutal. Well, haven't did. The plane did this.

Oh, that's not a bad point. Into the runway. Yeah, it's one of those deals where it's like, you see one frame where there's an airplane pointed down to the next frame is that. Yeah, it's like they they tried to land. What was that light? No, that's the fucking fire. That needs to be a 737. Technically, it is a light. They tried to land and did a go around. Then on the second go around, they just went nose first. They said they don't know what happened yet because Most of the future lodges underground good

So we some some Russian lady tweeted I guess the the the Sun of one of the presidents of one of the eastern block countries was on that plane and died and she was like tweeting Ha ha ha. I'm so happy that that happened. What or whatever yet It was just sort of like wow can get away with a lot more over Russia than you can't use this yeah, brutal. You can totally tweet that here if you wanted to well You can tweet it all you want our condolences that would be that's pretty from the scary. Yeah I'm not if I was ever in an air disaster and Gus is a morbid person He reads air disasters all the time. He loves them. I'm all up on this one. I know well He almost had one this weekend

Yeah, Gus almost did the equivalent of crashing an airplane right into the ground at Jack's reception What did you do? Which I saw that well? I think the family we had the reception and Gus married Jack and I Performed the ceremony performed the ceremony. So I think the family Went ahead and had an assumption that Gus was a religious. They wanted me to go up and do the blessing before the meal. They came up to me. Is that true? Yeah. They came up to me. Did you do it? No. They're like, if I tried to bless the meal, everyone would have gotten salmonella. It would have been like the largest outbreak of food poisoning in the world.

They're like, 200 dead at a head or a wedding reception. They came up to me. I wouldn't have been like if you did perform a ceremony that's meant to last forever. Yeah, right? Well, food doesn't last forever. Come on, let's be serious. You have an eight hour relationship with your food that you're flushing in. They came up to me and they were like, yeah, we are not.

We're not sure that actually Mr. Cerule is actually an ordained. And I was just like, wow, really? I didn't, wow. Who said that? Family members of people. You know, that actually, that actually used to be a big deal, Joel. You would hear about a dude who had married a bunch of people, and he wasn't allowed to do it. And it like invalidated a bunch of marriages. I used to hear about that stuff growing up. But that's going to be right. It didn't happen. It didn't everything's okay. Everything's fine. But I don't even know how, how is that? I mean, it was legal

because you had paperwork or what? It's legal because I signed up on a website. It's legal because you signed up on a website. It's on the internet. There you go. You're like the beautiful. Every now and then every time, every time before I perform a ceremony, I always go back and look through the Texas law and I make sure that I can still legally perform marriages Did a good job? I'm gonna say I was freezing Mary them and did very competent super Mostly also that's from the internet and your thing is from the internet so it totally makes sense so match me it online Yeah, that's a good point. Thanks netscape navigator gold

But you did a good job very competent job so much so that they just assume you could bless the food, which I didn't win more. I'm not licensed for that. You're speaking to doing good jobs, your toast was really spot on. Oh, thanks. I thought during the ceremony. And that's a funny thing too that also had me concerned because I wrote this monologue about how Jack is a terrible person.

That's what you're supposed to do, right? It's the best man's duty to fry the groom And so I wrote a speech about how I was gonna fry Jack and I was a little concerned about it Because it was essentially a roast yeah, and like and I was I wasn't sure and so I took Adam and and Christa back behind And I read him the speech and they were like Yeah, you should not say that. Whoa. They were like new laughs. They're like you shouldn't you should cut this Oh, we have this like I was like, I was like, Chris Hube. Christopher Maris?

Uh, Christopher. Oh, Christopher. And Adam, and they were, I was like, oh shit, oh shit, and I talked to, and like walking in the door, like I felt like the guilty need to tell Jack's mother, I was like, well, I kind of have the speech I'm not sure about. And she was like, Joel, we have family here. We have family here. I was immediately like, oh shit,

this is like concerning now. Array the flesh. So it was concerning. There's like concerns you were there doing probably illegal stuff. I was totally above level, totally unborn. I just got really hammered. I worked out, I thought.

I got a filthy mouth. And before the ceremony, when we were all kind of hanging out, it was a really small ceremony. It's like 10 people maybe there. Very sweet. I was, I was complaining about the cold. I think I turned to you or someone was like, man, it's fucking cold out here. And then one of the relatives came to me like, it's one of that, you know, the grandmother's

here. He's Yeah, that was another thing. It was like, oh right. Like after my speech, I might have devolved someone's arrest record. And they were they were like by the way the grandmother did not was not aware of the arrest record You and I are a big trouble. Oh, you and I are big trouble. We're not being every wedding though We're grandparents learned something that they weren't supposed to know. Do you have an arrest record? No Rest I don't have a restaurant like booked mug shot all that stuff you should have what you should have what I should have Why do you ask I try to have a restaurant. I don't have a restaurant. Like booked mugshot, all that stuff. You should have one.

You should have one. I should have one. Why do you ask? I try to have more people. I'm just saying, if this is the first time I've watched my grandmother's ever watched Jesus. You've never been arrested. You've never been arrested.

Have you ever been arrested? No. Why do you seem surprised? I'm just curious. I mean, it's like a thing that happens to be arrested. There's like surprise. Maybe for a legally-mariding people. Shut the hell up. That would be a great charge that he had arrested for. It's like surprise maybe for a legally mariding people

That would be a great charge that he had arrested for it's like what do you in here for it's like well Married so it lacks with common law marriage anyway. All you have to do is declare yourself a married couple in public If both of you do it in front of other people then you're married What's that let's call common law marriage? So if I say I'm married to you right now, do you say you're married to me? We're married no, you know, we're gonna say sex if get that with a girl, then yeah, and divorces should be easy. I'm just saying like if we're I believe in free market economies, and I'm just saying it should just be open and free. Mama, I'm on my own here. What are you saying that just people? Everyone should be married? No, I think everyone should own a Bitcoin. I think it's what he's saying. Everyone should own Bitcoin.

Let me ask you this question. If it comes out that this, what is it the thing you have? You know what? A more dainty? Yeah, you're a dainty is what? A minister? In the universal life church or something. If that comes out like oops, that's completely not real. Every marriage ever performed under this thing. It's a joke. It's in the user agreement. You can read really small like this is for novelty purposes only. How would you feel? I don't care. And all the manager is a follow-up. It's not my fault. Really? I thought it was real. Everyone else thought it was real. They thought it was legit. My doesn't affect my marriage. Did they go to the city hall and like fill out the marriage you marriage license and all that JP?

Oh, yeah. I got to sign those. That's a paperwork. That's a good sign. He went to a JP. Who's JP? Who's this JP? Oh? I had to open a check-in account. Wow Got a credit card with airline miles. Can you perform your own ceremony? I don't think so now you just stand here I don't think that's allowed do you just stand here and then you stand here. I don't think that's allowed. Do you ever hear about the dude in Antarctica who was the medical guy on staff in Antarctica and he got appendicitis? Oh, and had to do it on himself.

He performed his own... With a mirror. He was Russian, I believe. Well, yeah, he's in big hurry. Hey! Ba-da-bam-bam-bam-bam. She's off screen right now. I should go one of jokes. Yeah, no

He and he didn't want to give himself any anesthesia because he didn't want to dull his senses So this dude gave himself an epitectomy There's pictures of his elder mirror and he's like this. There's a black and white picture of it like mid-operations Oh my god, so other people with him. He just didn't want them. He didn't want to walk them through it. No Okay, would you let me? No, if you knew how would you let me? God that is a good question. Let's just take it back a step If that's like would you let him drive your truck?

Yeah, sure, I'm okay. He's already driven my truck. Okay. He just Drive at six feet, but I don't care about that. I don't care about that like I'll be I give you my keys my truck And they come back and they said they're all upset because they dented it. I just I wouldn't be upset. Yeah, I don't care about that. I don't care about that. Like I'll give you my keys and my truck and they come back and they said they're all upset because they dented it. I just I don't care. I wouldn't be upset. Yeah, I don't care about that. But no, the big thing is Gus, would you accept an organ from somebody that worked at the office like a kidney or a liver? Lever, liver, a kidney. Probably not a kidney maybe. We have a lot of young people now, so yeah, sure. You would.

We have a lot of people who have been living. Would you draw the line? would you take one from me? Um, I don't know He's aren't as fresh I'm like a blame kidney young people are you yeah, I want to kiddie that's got years ahead of it You know what I kid me I don't want to kiddie that a raising I don't want to kiddie They got tackled at a red river rival again They got softened up by security. What's one of the youngest livers has to be Ben's liver and that's probably in the

worst shape. Yeah. God. Yeah, I can't imagine. Well, I'll take a blame. Blame. I'll take your kid. No, but then then would this question is a good one. You have you're in the wilderness. Roni Camping trip. It's the four of us.

It's very clear. You have appendicitis and some one of us has to take out your appendix. I don't you choose. I'll do it. I have a steady hand. You see me play video games That's a really difficult one and there's no hope again in a hospital like I'll die if one of you doesn't do it Somebody's got to do it. So death is one is a viable option the most medical background Let me let me get a job at high school so I'm about Before I get my appetite. I'm gonna ask one screening question to everyone. Where's the appendix? Where's the appendix? It's here, you can do it. He's the right way too. I was curious to see if he was going to get it. What if you left handed? Does it go there? What if he looks at you?

I don't see anything. I don't think he looks at you. I like grass or something. Doesn't it? A few eat grass. No. No. Doesn't it get big if we eat grass?

No. We're gonna call it something. We eat grass. We were cow's. You say we were cow's? I know that. But we had, we was headed off grass diet. We were cowards to say when we were from when we were cows. I know that But we had he was headed off-dress diet. It's leftover when we had forcedomics

Is this to do with like in hubs and stuff her legs? Yeah, it's part of the digested track. I think it's optional It like you can cut it out. I used it in your right. Yeah, the theory was that maybe that it used to digest Maybe pieces of bone or something like that back when we were I know if there was a service I've talked about this before if there was a service that just got rid of all the crap that could go wrong like wisdom teeth, appendix, how you would do that, ad noise like all that crap but then you wouldn't have a personality no, yeah it's not my brain do you think within your lifetime we'll achieve a point where through genetic engineering

you can genetically engineer fetuses to the point where there will be born without wisdom teeth without appendix without Because there are already mutations where some people don't get wisdom teeth and you think we'll start out and be able to Artificially create that within the next 50 years. Yeah, you just get a bunch of those people to keep banging all the time Like seven generations when they don't when they've unlocked the genome right we can just find the switch right Okay, turn it on off. What about this is situation? You lose both testicles, okay, and then that stops you from having all the testosterone and stuff, and you basically, you just castrate at that point. Okay, but you can have one of my nuts,

and that would restore, like you'll get all the hormones that you usually get, but the sperm will be mine. What'd you do? That's a very, that's a weird. That's a very convoluted. I was with them right up until the sperm part. Uh, question. If he has the function of a testicle, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I don't care. I'm not going to have kids. What is the matter? You might. The main thing I've learned is that Gavin does your sperm is produced. He does not, he does not. He has never produced. Wait, what is this? Is it Gavin does not his first firm is produced he does not he does not or say How's your produce wait?

I was born with a full like your full tank of sperm and you just like depleted over life No, because we're not like we're not like a woman right good job Artisticals are not like a woman's testicles. Wait. What does the spell come from then? It's produced they they produce it in the in the bowl In the ball. Yeah, so it would after the first like couple goes, it wouldn't be any year's stuff left. Wait, why? It's like, if you sold me a car, why? The first week, you know, we could get back to it. Yeah, it would be your back. We could get back to an interesting question,

right? One person, you need a ball, you have to pick somebody, but then you immediately have to have sex. And it's the other person's left overs. Oh, do you pick? It was a kid looking at it. No one? I'd rather go ballless than reason when you ask those kids. Wait, wait, okay, so you have to pick a ball, Gus. You have to pick a ball.

I'm going to understand the sperm thing. Go ahead, the sperm, the actual physical little swimmers, it created in my ball. Right. But they're filled with my info. Yeah, right. So if it was in Gus' body, they would fill the sperm with his info. Right.

They would have Gus' CV. I never want the come from, though. What does it come from? The genetic material in the sperm. It's confused. If it doesn't come from the ball, where does it come from? It produces, I studied this at college, my initial love. But it's produced and it come from? It produces, I studied this at college, my mission was rough, but it's produced and it

basically takes normal genetic code and it spits them. And so that you end up with like a gamete has a half your genetic code basically. It's not a full-year full genetic code because it pairs with somebody else's half genetic code. That would be the goal. That's a different conversation. You're talking about a baby, though. No, no, no, no, what do we mean?

What are we talking about? What do you mean a sperm is half a baby? What are you talking about? You're going to work with them. Look, no, no, no, what are we talking about? What are you talking about? The sperm is half a baby. What are you talking about? You're going to work with them. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. would you instead of having like when you ejaculate you have a million tiny spurns if you had one giant one and then you had to fight it.

What would you masturbate as much? Like how does it fight? Does it like whip you with a stick? I don't know. I mean, or is that better than having a paper? But it only be as big as a streak of jizz, right? Wouldn't be like It just be like this Better scenario to have to fight it then descend into college

I mean, I just throw a face on it and start walking around and bring it If you didn't fight it, what if it grew to the size of basketball over a week like in your house? And then you're like I didn't take care of this one I'm not gonna fight the big one or Or like if you lose it like when it first comes out it's the size of a marble and it hides. Yeah. It rolls into your couch like oh shit. That takes you to come after me later. And like, you know, give a neighbor's dad the shit is telling us. It's true like. God you've just created like the worst horror movie ever. Oh man. It's like the face hugger

scene in Aliens when they're trapped in the I'm just gonna go back. Shut up and lab with it. Yeah, I'm just gonna go back and say no. That's my answer to that question. Universally. No. Yeah, I'm gonna say universal.

Colossal. No, no orgasm is worth having to fight some sort of mysterious thing that is coming out of your body. It is waiting for you to fall asleep so you can show them out later. Or if you wish somebody else you have to like team up to see now. That would be. Would you be jacking up with someone else? What are you talking about?

We're having sex. Oh, I thought that it was only during jacking off. I'm the idiot because I misunderstood the question. God, still give me started. That was your misunderstanding. How would somebody else be around when it's purpose? You said it comes out when you jack off. That would be your sex. There's two totally different things. So the woman said it comes out when you jack off. That was your

sex. There's two totally different things. So the woman would be bloody annoyed if you did that, you know, and she would be pretty pissed off. God damn it. There's a strange little weird ball black eyes. They're like, what happened? They're gonna be annoyed anyway. Yeah. Yeah. You make it. I've learned that. I forget where I read. I don't even. I think I read that too. I think it was one of the stupid things I read. It's like the equivalent of the would you

rather fight 100 duck sized horses or one horse sized duck? Right. I think it was in the same line of that. I guess you'd like to give credit to the person who made that really funny joke the first time, but I can't. Speaking of Reddit, over the weekend, I saw that someone got to the front page of Reddit

by posting a picture of an Xbox just like that one that's behind me, the one that the original Xbox that signed by Bill Gates. I was like, those motherfuckers, they made the post like only 50 of these were made. And look at this, like, motherfucker, we have this every fucking week you can see it. It's right there.

Maybe we should give it its own show. We should just like put it on the podcast Probably you know what came up are you? Still mad at Barbara for reposting the picture of the boxes and her picture of that goes everywhere in the world No, whoa, that's crazy. What just happened what picture of boxes? Gus. There was some Lissy hard drives Which is the Lissy is the brand of external hard drive We used to back everything up here those metal ones and you can probably find the picture on the line Look up boxes plotting Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was your joke you said that joke years ago

I remember that boxes when they were open they look like they're planning something like the two things up like this And the lid is like this Gus made that joke in 2007 Barbara he did Barbara get up there don't deny it She's I'm not mad about it. I don't fucking deny it. Give me Chris. I'm gonna say that I didn't have hands feeler I'm the only point of it up there. She retook. She retook the photo because of me. Yeah, I got the I got the image here But when Barbara posted it like everywhere like it was like CBS and every oh it was on CBS. Well, that's life, right? Are you gonna sing a song? No, she's testing sing a song. So I got the other year. There's a picture of them. That's really funny that yeah, I remember and you can tell this is in what was Gus's office at the time

But it's the tech you hear the atoms now live you had that box that exact same box Downtown Austin. Yeah, that's where I took the original photo with the one. Can we show the boxes? We haven't shown them yet. We're cutting a me drink and beer instead of showing the boxes. I don't know. Maybe they're not able to show it. Oh, OK, let's go. Oh, there we are.

So that's Barbara's photo. Because her, well, let you explain it. It's weird seeing stuff because that was all over Facebook as well. That my friends from England were posting that picture. So it was posted a picture in 2007 of that same box, but it was just the eye part of the box. It's just like the top part where it looked like a face.

I took two of the boxes and folded the arms and so it looked like they were plotting and then took a picture of it and said, man, these boxes are definitely plotting something. She made it her own guys. So it's completely different. Oh, but I gave you the idea. I said, I said, look, it looks like they have a face. I said, I took that picture of that one time. You time you like oh, yeah, and then you took a picture At least give me credit and then put it all over reddit now it's on like some dodging the question

And that is how R.T.X. Started Yes, thank you Thanks for nothing Pack up your shit in those boxes I think anyone that goes that Mike has to be as to sing a song No, no, you should sing a song. All right sing a song. You're on a mic. Go ahead. I was good That's the only song I know that's the only song you know sing a juice song. What's the Sing the Canadian national anthem. Do you know the Canadian anthem? Do I know the Canadian national?

I'm not gonna sing it. Oh, maple because then you guys all have to stand up and put your hand on your I'm not a Canadian son. Do we have to? I'll stand up and put my hand on my heart if you sing the Canadian national anthem stand up to Anthems that like smoke crack. Oh You know when you get to a St. Way. Yeah, I was trying to segue. It's a great segue because how can we not talk about the mayor of Toronto? You know my first thought well and I tweeted this you know If somebody was posting the Toronto mayor stuff and my my tweet I responded was I miss Chris Farley Yeah, and I started that I'm taking credit for that and then like the Chris Farley video is just started

It's a red was what's the name of the Toronto mayor? Rob Ford. Rob Ford. So the best comment I've read out so far was also on Twitter and so it said, the weirdest thing about this ongoing Rob Ford debattles, how has Sasha Berry Cohen kept the costume on for so long? I love that every picture of him is terrible.

Guys, looks like a boomer. He looks like an alien wearer. He looks like a boomer. He knows it. He looks like a boomer. He's gonna explode in a second. Toronto like a boomer? You know, I'm a boomer. He's gonna explode any second. Toronto's mayor is gonna have zombies all overheard about five. Earlier this year There was supposedly a video of the Toronto mayor smoking crack Which he said did not exist was a lie It disappeared for a few months that all of a sudden that video was stolen and now it's out there. I'm listen

I'm gonna go I'm gonna be the contrarian in this. I'd like him, I'd like Mayor Ford. Why? Because he's the first mayor to just smoke crack and then admit to it. Did you ever see the mayor in Barry Singh? Mary and Barry, Mary and Barry smoke crack. He did, had FBI, video tape him,

went to jail, came back from jail, re-elected to Mary. Re-elected to Mary. Reelected a marry? So I said, I'm in America. I mean, I said the Rob Ford is first person to admit it then. But Mary said he was set up.

He said he had never done it before. That's true. And he's just, he's just like, yeah, you know, I'm partying. Come on, I'm a mayor. That's what mayors do. Well, he said,

and then he said that he did not lie previously. When people ask him, people had reported that I said, do you smoke crack? He said no, and he said he was telling the truth because at the time he wasn't smoking crack But it's smoke crack in the past if they had asked him did you ever smoke crack you would say yeah, of course It's like a this is bullshit semantic answer ever Like are you mayor are you smoking crack right now? No, what about yesterday? Oh, yeah? How much is he he gets paid probably a good amount of money, right?

Yeah, Toronto. He's got it. Like what? Like why? I mean, I don't even smoke crack, but I drink a lot of beer, but I can be mayor. I mean, I don't know. I mean, I can be mayor. So has has Toronto had any problems since he's been mayor like even though he smokes crack and is an alcoholic. Is he a bad job because if he's doing a fine job? No, he's gonna break laws. It isn't elected official. You can't you can't get caught. Come on. We got caught They all break the laws right? Let's set example to the kids Don't see what's it's funny though because he does have this history of like getting kicked out of hockey games And just getting belligerent and blah blah blah and it's just sort of like How does he do it? He practically tackles some council woman earlier today I didn't have time to send the video over but someone's yelling at him

He fucking bum rush this woman and knocked her over did you see that video of like him and then they cut to Chris Farley And it's like all the same stick Tell me boy and stuff. No, they literally take footage from Chris Farley doing different deal like Chris Farley Which is a Chicago Bears game was like on the field acting, acting like, you know, Joker guy and falling over, and then they do a hard cut to the mayor, and he's on a football field, except for being real and he falls over. It's amazing.

Didn't Chris Farley once turn up to an award ceremony with like Coke around his nose, and he was just like, why don't care? Yeah, they called him on the red carpet, he goes, oh, mother powder, don't, what up my nose? He was like, he was off the rails at the end. Another powder. I think we have the video of the mayor running over the council

woman. I don't know if we can, if we can pull that up. This is, this is what a boomer spots you. Yeah, the second one is, boomer. Boomer. That was someone that made that video. And then he goes over and explodes, right? How have you not made that video?

Why did you do that? Someone was yelling at him off camera? They're like calling him calling him names and shit and you got all mad head So you go mad at that woman. Yeah, I think she tried to stop him and that she just got in the way The trick is you let him run past I mean there you go you have all the elements you need for a successful internet video right there You have all the elements you need for a successful internet video right there That's what you need you have the sound bite the sound effect and the video Let me read this thing right here

Sorry on that note When I'm mind everyone this episode of the Rustead podcast is brought to you by audible calm the internet's leading provider of audiobooks with more than 150,000 downloadable titles across all types of literature and featuring audio versions of many New York Times bestsellers. For our listeners, Audible is offering a free audiobook or your choice to try out their service. One audiobook to consider is The Book Thief by Marcus Zusek, although I'm the beer thief right now. For free audiobook or your choice, go to audiblepodcast.com slash RT. That's audiblepodcast.com slash RT.

Love, audible. Listen to it all the time, driving around in my car, fantastic service. About halfway through book five of a song of ice and fire currently. Are you really? Yeah, almost there. God, we can't talk about it though. No, can't talk about it. Um, shut up. So you're talking about the Chris Farley bit on the football field.

Did you see the video of the guy falling out of the football bleachers from this weekend? Yeah. That's how much video that I've seen. That's what it's all about. You're on a plane today. I guess so. He, he was on like the upper balcony and you know, those balconies have like railings.

He like sat on the railing to slide down outer exterior head except he was really drunk So he fell backwards off of it Look up to the left no What if you're he is sliding down and not any no, I'm sorry He survived he only had minor injuries you lay it on somebody mind But he landed on someone who is seriously injured and has head injuries. Oh, jeez. What a fucking asshole. So at first they say the people in the area say that he got up and tracked Jack like nothing

happened and tried to walk away. But the other guy was obviously like that he fell on was obviously laid out and seriously hurt. Oh, it's awful. I don't know man, that's fucked up. I feel the, I don't know what to say because I feel like. That's the guy. It's awful. I don't know, man. That's fucked up. I feel that I don't know to say because I feel like it's awful I feel like this is becoming more and more like common because I feel like I can't go six months without watching somebody fall out Of the stands and some major sporting event which I feel like that never happened

I feel like I never happened you heard about it like once what five years ago at the Rangers game You know what happened all the time? You know, it's a big problem It's a big problem every time they open a new stadium because people always go to the new stadium and take photos and they take photos like in the upper decks like with their backs against the railings and then fall over backwards like every time there's a new stadium opening it seems like somebody's taking a picture and walks backwards and flips over the railing and it seems to me like the worst thing in the world would be to fall on stadium seats. Oh yeah. That is not a pleasant thing. Yeah That is not a pleasant video if you get in shaft and he goes over like seven rows. And that looks like the most painful thing in the world.

It always seems like the worst fight happened when you're off level with each other too. Like somebody always gets just kick straight in the face. We can probably only have a few more of those before they just stop banning booze from sporting events. No, they'll never ban booze. They make money on that. What they'll do is they'll just put a fucking cage around the whole thing. Fair play. Yeah, I click an animal get fucking treated like one.

What a fucking dummy that guy was. I can't wait until he sews the stadium now for it. Yeah, for providing a railing that was unsafe. What are a sporting event and they do the national anthem and all that stuff? Yeah. And everyone stands up and does the hand on the chest. Do they do the same thing in the UK?

No. They play God save the Queen before they chest and do the same thing in the game. No, no, they play god save the queen before International football games. I'll do that. Okay, but not for just regular Premier League But am I gonna do that or am I not because I'm not American? Don't have to do it Obama when he was running for president didn't do it He didn't hold his hand over his heart for something. I forget what it was. I think this is the pledge It's the pledge. Yeah, I want to say that's what it was. Yeah, and it was a big fervor that he didn't do it. I'm not sure whether it's, but it's not actually like required

etiquette. Because when I'm there, I'm never sure whether I'm being insulting by doing it because I'm not American or whether I'm, if I didn't, I'd be insulting for not doing it. I don't think it matters. I don't think I've ever done it, actually. I just see it happen. So I think the proper etiquette is if you have a hat,

you take off your hat. Yeah, if you don't have a hat, you take off your hat. Yeah. If you don't have a hat, you put your hand over your heart, and then you go, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da the way the word stars comes up in the national anthem, everyone in the arena goes, stars. That's blasphemy. And it's, you know, it's what they do, but I'll tell you what is blasphemy or what we treat it like. You know, you have the recution rises. Is it if you're a little bit drunk and then shout out

stars at the wrong time and then save them, which I can tell you to do that. But you know, I've done that. Oh, very, very sick. You're gonna say you got a thought, so sorry. Very, very sick. No, it stars. Hit the wrong time. Yeah, that would not go. I've done that very very good to say you got a thought so very very good stars hit look time Yeah, that would not go that would not go over well

Yeah, I listen. I'm always a firm believer of if you're in a stadium Just go with the flow Gavin stand up put your hand over your heart. It's not worth the hassle of yeah, yeah Yeah, I'm like no, no, I'm British. Yeah, it's okay. It's okay. I'm the country that you guys fought for this song. I'm on the back of the song. I cannot. Yeah, it's totally cool.

The rocket thread glare, that was me. Like, I remember what time I went to a Super Bowl party with a girl, you know her actually. And it was San Francisco versus somebody. And the superman party was in San Francisco. I think I'm a Denver. And everyone there, of course, is for San Francisco. She didn't care at all.

Like she had no care. So who did she root for? Denver. Denver. She's the person who's like, Oh, I don't care. So I'll just root for Denver. It's like, we don't ever do that.

Don't ever be that person in the party. We were talking about this at lunch actually Where sometimes you'll go out with a girl actually talked about that You got with a girl and the girl is like she's gonna fight everyone She's gonna be the one the contrarian and she's gonna fight everyone, but then you're with her So that's like well, I guess I'm getting into a fight So that's like, well, I guess I'm getting into a fight. You know, I mean, it's just sort of like one of two things will happen. There's only two scenarios they can have in there.

A, the home team wins and everybody just rails on you and you're a big fucking loser. Or the home team loses and you get a fight. Yeah, yeah, that's what happens. Yeah, I've been in those situations at games like that where someone shows up. Like I said, not caring and cheering for the wrong or the other team just to be contrary. Yeah, just a balance, I guess. I don't know. Nobody wants just for the attention, maybe.

I don't know. Yeah, nobody wants. They want to fight. They want to see you get your ass kicked. That's what they want. They're like, I can't wait to watch my one friend or whatever. Get your ass kicked. Yep.

So that's how it works. That's relationship. Relationship advice from. That's a real thing. Have you ever dated a girl like that? No, I never. I never. Starts fights for you.

I never want a relationship where my manliness is tested. Yeah, it's a good call. Yeah, you don't want to fail that. That's a good call. That's what we all have our doubts about you, Gav. If someone, if a girlfriend tried to start a fight with a bigger dude, and I'm expected, you just wouldn't return her calls. Yeah, I believe a bigger dude would be okay

Girls don't that this kind of girl will go to the extreme of like you'll walk past a group of five guys and should go The fuck you looking at assholes and like well Yeah, there we go so then you like move her to the outside just like start taking bunches I'd be more worried about in a fight would be hurting someone then getting arrested for it. That's it. We might have a video that's a combination of everything we talked about. Fight on different levels. All of these are fights.

It's Denver fans. Somebody's thinking you see? This woman is taking up an issue with this gentleman. She looks like she's trying to hold that guy back. Well, they were holding her back for a little hard holds of who knows. They're taking turns holding each other back. There was a video out. Yeah, this week actually. Oh, there you go.

It's kicking off again. Higher ground winds battle. I know this. Someone threw a piece of books or something. Oh, shit. Get out of there. Get out of there. See what you're watching right now. What you're watching is Macbeth. This is the the plot of Macbeth Out of damn spot

That's what's happening there. It's a it's a lesson in battle techniques always have the higher ground You will win. Yeah, it is true Especially when there's like uneven ground and like stadium seats Yeah, the best is when somebody tries to climb over stadium seats and you realize how difficult that is. Oh, that is. You can't do that without telegraphing what you're about to do. That person always gets kicked in the throw. Especially because in situations like this alcohol typically involved, so it makes it even

more difficult. Yeah. So they're not going to make it. And in those two, it's like when the girlfriend goes into the mix too, that's always, that doesn't help anybody ever. Because either some dude is getting it wailed on by a girl and girls hit way worse than dudes like they go in claws and I don't care. And like Patriots came the other day didn't that happen? Yes, that's what it was Patriots game. Yeah, in the outside. Yeah, yeah, like right in the

as the people were leaving the stadium. Yeah, so yeah, some woman got like clocked right in the jaw. Well, dude, yeah, because in that dude gets destroyed. That dude. That's exactly the jump dot. Everybody, everybody jumped on him. It turns into a how come you can slap scenario. Yeah, but she's fucking you so stuff. Like it occurs to me in the dark ages, instead of like doing moats,

they should have just put like stadium seating around the castle because that shit will stop anything. I mean, deadly. Yeah. One is a pretty vicious place, actually. You think everyone's like gentlemanly and high etiquette? We were in, we were in, I was in London with you. We actually, I was in Scotland.

Yeah. Kill you, mother. I was in Scotland with him and Jeff and we were all drunk. And some English guys were walking by or they were driving and they flick the soft and they were giving us trouble. I was like, come on, we got into a fight. Let's get into a fight. And Bernie was like totally rational. I was like, they flick the soft. What country is it? In England, you're going to lose the fight. I was like, well, I mean, it's like we have to fight now and no one want to fight.

No, the less he's driving away. I want to point it out The less you want is to get a felony in another country because you can't go back to the country I sure don't like the country. That's why I'm so scared. That's why I'm scared of getting a fight with someone Because I don't want to accidentally break the law by defending myself because people will sue me They are you get booted from the country that be the worst thing for you. Yeah, I get to point it Yeah, because I could I could pull this your Russell Crowe Then you can get through it but get sued though is like I mean the country that'd be the worst thing for you. Yeah, I get to poid. Yeah, cuz I can I can pull this your Russell Crowe Then you can get through it But get sued though is like I mean the dude who fell off the

tier and landed on the other dude that guy's gonna probably lose a lot of money And he probably should if he fell on somebody's head and broke their neck That guy should break a lot of my but if you get a fight With somebody like somebody's lipping off to you in the bar And you're like, I don't want a bunch of sky cuz I'll get sued What's the really the most amount of money somebody could choose for for decking them in the face? Assuming you don't knock them out and they fall over on the back of their head and die. Yeah, that does happen. Yeah, that does happen Well, just a dude another dude in a bar clocks another dude gives him a black guy

What's the most I figured like a lot of pocket? They could always do claim like some kind of long-lasting damage, headaches, migraines, loss of eyesight and then which case you're probably in the hook for like lost revenue or lost income for however many years they've lived. Well the thing is you'll be on the hook for a couple million. The thing is, I mean the conversation we're having right now and everyone who's never been involved in anything is like oh one guy hits another guy in the head and then it's just oh he's knocked out or whatever but that's a lot of times that's not what happens. People get fucked up. I mean, there was a guy like on the MTV deal, right? Who got hit one time in the face, broke his orbital,

raised around his eye, like broke his skull. It's like, that's... You can't fix that. Big, big problems. There's no cast for that. Big problem. That was in Austin. It was in Austin's first night, first show. Did he lose his eye? A guy in Sixth Street. No, but he was like, it broke his a suck syphil right here the orbital bone Yeah, we're below cheekbone and it's completely snapped it so it was like I was offset Oh, and I had to go through a lot of surgery get it fixed not good not good

Yeah, I think I went around the internet and I don't even know if I'm bringing up this is a book I don't get miss topic. We're violent podcast. We're a violent podcast. Have we talked about this before? I don't think so. What's the thing that you can talk about? Have like the worst fight you've gotten into? Have we had that conversation? I don't think so. I've been on both ends of a one-punch fight. I've never had like one, some of my brother and my kids growing up. Well, yeah. Yeah, most most fights have ever seemed to like, they're just one punch. I've been knocked out. I'm not somebody out. I've been knocked out. Dude, neither one was a one punch fight. It was not one punch and it was the worst fight, wherever, where my buddy got super drunk and he's super big

and he was starting to mess around with a guy who was super big and he had some friends and whatever. And everyone's drunk and I'm in a parking lot and everyone's doing the standoff thing. Oh, how many people were there? 10. Yeah, that's rough. A big group fight like that is a really different dynamic. There was 10 people there and they're doing each the the tension thing just before the fight thing and I'm standing there

Drunk off my ass with a bottle of corona. Oh, in my hand. I don't your grip on it and I'm like I'm gonna be like you know what? I'm gonna be the guy to break this. I'm gonna break this so Drunk dumb stupid dumb idiot young Joel was like, I'm simply gonna take this curtabottle and I'm gonna hit that guy over the head with it. Wow! That was my plan. So I go and I reach back for the curtabottle. The curtabottle had condensation on each side of the bottle. And so I go, and it goes, out of my hand, it goes, all the way down the parking, like, it hits the lightpost, clink.

And literally everything stopped. Everyone turned and watched the bottle, just go, clink, clink, clink, clink, and then there was a beat, and it was just fists. And then it was just like, and then it was a beat on you. It was, I got utterly destroyed. I mean, it was just like 10 guys jumped on me. It was bad

It's like look. It's a bottle thrower It was I was the guy who was like clearly. I was the one who started at that point and don't ever do that Don't ever do that not a good thing. Yeah obvious obvious advice. It does not end well Bellamy in another country is good advice to and you said you'll never be allowed to come back the opposite I spent a lot of time when I was in college. We go to Mexico all the time. And the opposite is true. You can be a felony in Mexico.

You don't get to leave ever. You're just a year. You are off the grid for the rest of your life. That's not good. Yeah, that's the scariest ever. There I was in my life was being handcuffed in Mexico. Yeah, there's, listen, I'm scared you shit.

If you were ever in a situation where, there's no point. There's no point in getting to fight with anybody. It's stupid, it's utterly pointless. No, walk away. Well, that's the thing to you today is like, if you used to be you could get in a fight with somebody and people would hit and there was a, there was like a rule, like if somebody went on the ground, the fight was over. Sure. Now with fucking MMA, that's like just started. Let's kick the guy in the head. Now it's like I get that's on bar time. Yeah, it's like I'm gonna figure out how to do an on bar. I don't know how it works, but I'm just put the arm like hey check this out.

I saw this in American history X watch this. Oh, no, it's usually it's like if you watch MMA, they forget that there's a ref right there that when the dude like taps the other dude on the shoulder and taps out. The ref goes in like a wrecking ball and knocks the guy on top off, because he's got to do that. There's no ref at the bar outside the bar. So now when somebody goes down, top you a great job.

People just stand there and just like, deck them on the ground. That is very foreign to me. I don't know how to handle a freelance bar ref. I mean, an MMA ref, no one respects the bar ref. If you know what the bar ref is, dead. The thing is, I think you get to a certain age age and if you see a fight where one guy is kicking another guy's butt You have you're humiliated for everyone you're humiliated for the guy who's beaten on the guy

It's him. It's humiliating for the guy who's winning The fight let even a little bit less though. It's a little less. It's embarrassing Yeah, I think so it's embarrassing for both of them. When you punched the dude and knocked him out, they hurt your hand. You hurt my hand for three weeks. All the way to the shoulder, all the way to the shoulder. Yeah, because that's the only fight I've been in, it's the same situation where there's like 20 dudes

and it's a really small room, and I'm trying to get out, but there's people like swimming their fists over my head. So I'm not trying to like duck out. And then I saw when my friends getting grabbed, so all I did was like, really like, yeah, I just thought if my eyes were shot, I'd get less injured. And would you mess up your hand? Her for a while. I'm not even sure what I punched.

I think it was ahead. We're all so fucking stupid. Because I'm not sure what I punched. I think it was ahead. We're all so fucking stupid. We're all so fucking stupid. We're all so fucking stupid. We're all so fucking stupid. I'd get less injured. And would you mess up your hand? For a while. I'm not even sure what I punched. I think it was ahead.

We're all so fucking stupid. Because there's no, that's the other thing. There's nothing like, you know, I mean, it's just retarded, you know, nothing ever works where it's just sort of like flailing around. Everybody looks down. I've seen people doing this. It's just everybody looks like an idiot, you know. You never get that leverage.

I mean, there's a, I read about like, I mean, Dan who plays Donut in Riversley, he's big into like, Crab McGraw. What's that? I said, yeah, this is like a country music star, but it's it was really defense stuff where Dan is like an Israeli MMA kind of. It's like ground grappling for, but it's like, and it's you see it all the time in MMA like there's a dude who's like studies this and this and And I would like to draw if I'm saying it right. I'm probably saying it wrong. Yeah, I probably get killed. I speak in me hunger Twitter Yeah, I'm ready to get some occasion food. You even know how to say KRAV space M.A.G.A but You are the worst he would go to like this dude in suburban Austin's house and

there'd be a bunch of dudes they go into the garage and they would drag out the mats they'd get the car out of the garage move it out and then they put mats down in the garage and a bunch of dudes would hang out in their underwear and wrestle. Did he say it was basically just grabbing other dudes nuts? That was it like boil down to it's like blow low as commonly. You have some guys nuts like here. We gave him unmitigated shit about that for I think a few weeks and then he got really good at it. We're like, nah, we don't want it. It's cool, dude. Yeah. We'll hang out with you. We'll do it also. It's crazy. Like I always thought about like your buddy from high school who studied martial arts his whole life But then it's one of those things you study your whole life

Kind of hoping you're never gonna use it and he never like he went decades of studying martial arts and never gotten a fight It was the first time he ever got in a fight. He instantly slipped and fell He got back up and still won but it's like you just spent all this time practicing. It's like, yeah, got out there. And then the grass was wet. He slipped. I just disabled somebody. Doesn't have to have to fight.

He can just be like, no. Yeah. So yeah, he's still he's still won despite the fact he slipped in the opening. All right. Well, here's somebody give me a real world example here. Some guy said on Twitter that his buddy Punched a guy at a bar Buddy the guys face hit the table. He broke his orbital and now he's blind in one eye and it cost him

He estimates it was conservative estimate about a hundred thousand dollars. Oh, it's his friend Not nearly as much as I thought it would for a punch in a guy I'm lining a dude. I mean, that's like I thought that would be pretty serious. Yeah, I'd like to pay way more than that Is this is this where what he doesn't say where it will happen? No, I don't just you know 240 characters It's all you said this this a ton of crap you can't do if you have one either isn't it? Or go ahead just the lack of depth ruin you from those jobs. Yeah, you like you really want to enjoy gravity I guess this movie is alright I went saw that again. Good movie. Yeah, it's a, it's a really really good movie if you haven't seen gravity

It's just like easily I think if not the best movie the year than it's one of the best. Oh, it's thinking of which It's almost time for podcast award. It is almost time for podcast awards We typically do those we should start nominations here pretty soon. We might have to do nominations Probably maybe next week of the week after and then come up with some winners. Did you see the people noting that when Joel got up to go to the bathroom, you made a note on your pad? That now that's a padlin. The Joel is not gonna be on the podcast now. Did you see the new storm movie? No, I did. Why say all that?

I don't know. I just I Everyone told me how good the first store movie was. I watched it. If he wasn't good. Yeah, everyone was said it was so good when it came out. It was me. I feel like this is the same thing all over again. I don't know.

I'm just not, I'm not a fan of those movies, I guess. I like the Avengers. I like the individual movies. Iron Man's good. Like a Iron Man. Except for Iron Man 3, which kind of wasn't as good Marvel really suffers from That was awesome. I just totally hit the microphone You know that out of your way that I make some death in the other room

Marvel suffers from good villains the DC comic book movies tend to have good villains But the the Marvel ones really just don't and they're not even using the best Marvel villain yet like where the hell is Dr. Doom, you know, that's what I've been wondering. They used it. Dr. Dup, page and Dr. Doom, Dr. Doom to Avengers 2.

Who is he? Wasn't he in the last scene? For the final dude, Dr. Doom. No, who is the dream sitting in the armchair in space at the end of the Avengers? That's what I'm asking. Oh, that is a Thanos. What is it?

Who's Thanos? He's a dude who collects the infinity gems. I don't think I can spoil something that's in comics. I mean, this is it? Thanos. He's a dude who collects the infinity gems. I don't think I can spoil something as in comics. I mean, this is an adapted thing. He collects the infinity gems and builds the infinity gauntlet. So, and then it makes it so loud. Is that gauntlet season three? And that comes out, Jolpe.

Well, people be like, wow, they stole the design of the gauntlet from you guys. If he's wearing a glove that's like the artrofi, I think we have lost you. I think he might be. If they call it the stunt. Brandon is saying that he doesn't think Disney owns the rights to Fantastic Four.

Really? They're making a Fantastic Four movie right now. I don't know. So you can look up who's doing that. I mean, they already made one, didn't they? Yeah, but that predates the Disney Marvel deal. Yeah, I'm just saying, like we're rebooting, we're doing a lot of reboots. That's infinity all. Well, hopefully we don't get to do it. It is. It's fun.

It's fun. It's fun. It's the human torch in the same universe as Captain America. Yes, same universe. Yeah, that'd be cool. well, I there was some reference to that just recently forget what it was. Oh Lego Marvel There's an achievement if you get human torch and Captain America Together and I think the name of the team is hey, you look familiar The same actor Chris Evans played the human torch played Johnny Storm and played Captain America. I mean super. He's great. But I mean, do we really not have that many actors?

I mean, are we really is or like not enough? They used to do that all the time that they used to in the Bond movies. They were just reuse actors and characters like someone would be on Bond side in one movie. And then they'd be blowfeld in the next movie. It's like like villain by big parts. Yeah. It was like it was like a bit part was the audition for future Villain is it if like you know casting directors like you and blah blah blah and you show up on time and all that stuff

It's like I guess you're just gonna get work or I'm wondering if it was a different different crew Nobody noticed and the act to just kept quiet about it. Well, I was already in a body So yeah fantastic for Silver Surfer and someone other property are owned by Fox. Really? Yeah. It's part of my Sony. I guess because the first fantastic

four movie got made in 05. Right. At that time, they already put the second movie under contract. So Daredevil's the other one, Brian. Tell me. Thank you, Brian. And Brian is the one who looks like a man. So what's a mate produced the movies?

Is it out of contract? It'll probably be out of contract after the next four. So that's probably probably are they hold hold on. So yeah, the next fantastic for movie. I just looked at schedule for 2015. There was a announcement about TV shows that are being developed into comic books are being developed into TV shows. And the four that they chose are Netflix is developing them into shows. And the four heroes they chose are like What the why why these ones like they chose daredevil? That's the most well known one that chose then Luke Cage It's power man and then iron fist and then a character. I had never even heard of called Jessica Jones That's like a port name is that I mean I'm gonna look up to make sure I got it right is that a guy? Yeah, Jessica Jones, I've never gotten a comic book student. It's like

I don't know crap. That's why I like it is. It's just mindless entertainment where I'm not worried about The accuracy of the characters. I can just sit and watch the Avengers and it's awesome. Yeah, Avengers is great Yeah, others ones not as much as great Let's have another beer Yeah, her shoes it's a comic. I swell after I stopped reading comics pretty much or at least regularly. The first comic for Jessica Jones was published in November of 2001. Her name is Jessica Campbell Jones Cage. What's her superpower? Fictional character appearing in

books published by Marvel Comics. She's embittered. That's the power. She's mad about shit. She's usually a alias jewel nitrous and currently power woman. She, uh, she, uh, the power woman, she married to power man. I know about the script. The first plot is she gets her boyfriend into a fight and it's right. It's, uh, then she kicks the shit I've ever. I don't think power woman needs anyone else fighting her fights. Would you like to hear her abilities? As a result of a chemical spill. We've all been there. It all yet happens a lot.

Jessica Jones possesses superhuman strength and resistance to injury and they ability to fly at subsonic speeds. That's really subsonic. That's important to say. Subsonic. So you can fly that. So you fly like a bird.

Once you can fly like what, 600 miles an hour. Or below. Or below. It's like zero or 600. There's no in between. No, Mach 1 is the speed of sound. Yeah, she was able to look at her. The exact limits of her strength and durability have not been defined, but she was able to lift a two-ton police car with a parent ease She was not able to fully withstand a venom blast from Jessica Drew This whole comic is this girl

Jessica, why no still names. It's like this is Nancy and that she's fighting Bill. I think sir I think just making a bunch of shit up. I think there's just making it up like the point of making a comic book movies you have a built-in market, right? Who what's the market for probably not big who who is is it a DC or is it a marvel or it's marvel and it's Netflix developing it and Netflix doesn't give it shit like they put out house of cards with Kevin Spacey mm-hmm and then they put out did you ever see oranges the new black no never did that series I I I don't know why I watched the entire first season of that series because For whatever reason I couldn't get into it But I just refused to give up on it and I just kept watching it until episode eight and then episode eight out of ten

I was like, okay, this is a good series now And now I like the series but I have no idea what got me from episode one to episode eight Wow, are they hour longer half-hour, half hour, I think 45 minutes. They're all over the place. They're format. Doesn't matter because it's Netflix. The thing I was getting to though was that Netflix had a press conference where they talked about the popularity of House of Cards and Orange is the new black.

And they said, they're very popular. That's essentially what they said. They said, well, like what are the ratings to say? We don't even tell you that. Those are the average. People watch it and it's popular. We don't have advertisers. We don't have subscribers that we have to like, you know, appease like HBO does, I guess, in not in the same sense. So we don't have to tell you this is not. But are they a publicly traded company? They are.

They are. Don't they have to just close like the cost going into making it maybe. Maybe they have to just close that but it's buried in other stuff, I think. I mean, what's the hope behind a Netflix original? Is it so people sign up for Netflix? Is that yes? Now, they don't have to license it from anyone, right? And it drives subscriptions, create your own content.

Netflix streaming when it first came out was absolutely amazing. But now with all the rise of all these other streaming services, it becomes a little harder to find a specific thing you want to watch. It may have expired and it may be on another streaming service or it just might be on the camera. I saw that. Yeah. To watch stuff on Netflix, it's like 20 different apps.

Yeah, there's a, I read that it's funny. You mentioned that the, the simpsons are finally going to be able to be streamed Yeah, the internet and I was like great what's it going to be? And it's like it's like the people who got the rights for it are the FX X network They're developing their own mobile app to do their own streaming So if you want to watch the Simpson streaming you have to do it through the FX X mobile app, which doesn't exist yet over reaching Overreaching so just give it to Hulu. I mean I like the Simpsons. I really liked the Simpsons. I haven't seen the Simpsons in seven years. Yeah, but I mean they would have all the see they're gonna have all the seasons. You don't have to watch the new shit. Just watch the stuff you like. First ten seasons. Perfect. Yeah, especially I think I miss quoting how many episodes are in orange is the new black. It's a drama

I don't know if drama the right word. It's a drama about a women's prison and a girl The woman who goes to prison I saw the trailers for it a lot of stuff is build as a Netflix original But it isn't like Derek is build that way Ricky javais is absolutely not It is an original it is build as an original. He's right though Where he's build is I thought I thought it was an original Netflix original and on the on the beginning It says the Netflix original on the actual opening of the show. It's just I showed that's already been Yeah, it was on BBC. It was on Channel 4 like a year ago. Yeah, you know UK Like it's maybe just the licensing purposes. Yeah, like however game with drones gets distributed in the UK sky six or whatever I Atlantic I'm sure it's a sky Atlantic original yeah, I had a feeling I was wrong 13 episodes in the first season of oranges and you black

It is not 10 episodes so eight out of 13 eight It was episode eight when I was fine like okay now I'm watching so long run that I want to watch and I have no idea Why are they making another season? Yeah, I think so it's's based on somebody's memoirs. The main character it's supposed to be like inspired by true events, if not directly true. Did anyone see house the cards? No, I haven't seen it yet. It was hot. You have you? I haven't seen it. I hear good things about it. I haven't seen it. Is all of you guys are Netflix. I hear that some people watch it. People talk about it. They talk about it like crazy when it was out. Do you remember that event that I did where I was it was a night with me and Kevin Smith

and Lisa Kudrow, who was on friends? So how's the cards was just like the talk of the town at that point. And we were talking about how the budget for this thing, this essentially original series or a web series, you know, an advanced web series, essentially. And it was 22 episodes for $100 million. So it was about $4 million in episodes. That's more than Game of Thrones. What's what they were paying?

$4 million in episodes. I have this conversation with Mrs. Kudrow. And, or Mrs. Kudrow. And I said, yeah, it goes $4 million in episode. And I was about to say, can you believe they spent that much on it? And she goes, yeah, I don't know how they made that for four million bucks. I was like, oh, yeah. Here's a person who When she was on the show friends it cost $6 million a day to get the cast to show up. Yeah, I can tell you from first-hand experience that money did not go towards Sets or location

or craft service or anything else. It's on a freaking stage where they have like three sets. You know what I mean? Wow. And she's way ahead of the curve. Like she made her own web series and then sold it to, I think, showtime. Yeah. And then did it.

So she totally understands web development and the economics of web shows. And it's like, yeah, but it's still like, when you come it from a TV perspective, it's like, how do you make a show for $4 million a week? Everything super cheap. Yeah. So, Joel, when you were on Friends,

was the set that you, because you're on the casino and the plane, right? Was that on the same physical space as the apartment? Like, was it cool and in line? It was to the left. With. So you actually, I really can see it was to the right.

The coffee shop was in the middle in the apartments and they're saying yeah So you've been because you walk on all the other pots just to say you well mean Yeah, I mean you're there. It's not that it's it's surprisingly small right you know, it's like everything on Through lens. It's bigger. Yeah, it's always weird when you in your head You have a joke you have the junk feed it just doesn't match anything when you're actually on the set Absolutely. No, yeah, it's like you you have that idea feed it just doesn't match anything when you're actually on the set absolutely no Yeah, it's like you you have that idea where they hit the bar and in the couch and you's like oh well That's a certain amount of spaces, but if you really watch the actors walk. It's like one two three I'm at the bar

You know, I mean it's like three steps away. I mean everything is so compressed. It's really was weird It was really weird. Can I take kind of a horror story for Joel about that? So when you're a struggling actor and you're on set and you think there's an opportunity to be a featured extra organ line or something like that, you make yourself available. It's like part of the effort you make to become a bigger part of a show.

I didn't even sleep with someone. Of course. So Joel was gonna be in the scene where they're on a plane. And so he made sure he jokied himself in a position where he'd be in a seat where he'd be on camera. Well, behind Jennifer Aniston and David Schwimmer. Yeah, I actually just kind of got sort of lucky with that. But like, and he was super excited about it though, because you were on camera and you're right behind these two major actors.

And it was like, it's a cool shot. Then in the casino scene, they cast him. They put him in a Hawaiian shirt and Courtney Cox had this role where she rolls something and she wins and she's trying to make Chandler jealous at the time. So she turns to Joel and they rehearses and hugs him and like does this big hug and like all happy to make Chandler jealous. Then somebody on the set goes, wait a minute, he was on the plane. And the guy behind them, he shouldn't be the part. And that is the lesson of Hollywood.

Right there. They pulled him out of that shop and get's back on my great hot thing, you know, and then it's just sort of like and it's like you go to rehearsal. It's like, oh, and we're going to go back to the next day and it's like I have this thing. I have this thing. It's like, oh, they took it away from you. Welcome to Hollywood. Because they justified that he was in the background of the plane scene. So it would be confusing.

And they also gave it to the, they gave it to a writer, right? They gave it to a writer, right? You're still in that scene, though, because I saw that the friend's Facebook page posted a screenshot of that scene recently of her throwing the dice and you're right there in the back. You are literally right behind her and that fucking Hawaiian shirt. Yeah. It's amazing how often you're on international television.

I feel like whenever I go to England, I visit my dad, I'll be watching criminal lines or something. I'll be like, oh, that's Joel. You want to be on a Sunday as Joel? You want to know where your job I had? And this is, there's a Disney ride somewhere. I don't know where the Disney ride is, but I play Steve Jobs. What in the Disney ride? They do like a history of some shit or whatever and I play Steve Jobs. What in the Disney ride? They do like a history of some shit or whatever.

And I'm Steve Jobs on that ride. It's got to be like, this is like Paris or someplace that doesn't do it. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. They're like, you're like, you're, I don't know.

I don't want to say the thing. But they're like, you kind of look this way or wherever. So I got Steve Jobs a hired a short, you know, fatter guy to be was the act when they were younger. And like we're going to do it when we go to the garage. Do we go to the thing or whatever, it's like, yeah, I don't know what happened to that. We got to find that. I got to see that. I've got to see that. Let's find that. You have to look like Steve Jobs right now. Just if that was short, it was a turtleneck instead of a V-neck, you'd be set. And much less. I have a picture for you here that

will show you. Which is my favorite scene that Joel was ever in. Can I send a see? Yeah, you got my thing here, right? I don't think I do I don't want to say I'm gonna send it to you and you can put this photo up here Let me read this while you send that to Brandon. Go for it When I mind everyone this episode of the received podcast is brought to you by Hulu plus You probably tried Hulu calm now with Hulu Plus you can watch your favorite shows anytime, anywhere. Hulu Plus lets you watch thousands of hit TV shows and a selection of acclaim movies on your television or on the go with your smartphone or tablet.

And it all streams an HD for the best viewing experience. With Hulu Plus you watch your favorite current TV shows like SNL Community and Red vs. Blue. You can also check out exclusive content including Hulu Originals like the awesome starring SNL Seth Meyers and Moonboy starring Chris O'Dobb from Bridesmaids. Hulu Plus offers a great selection of acclaimed films for only $7.99 a month you can stream as many TV shows and movies as you want wherever you want. Right now you can try Hulu Plus for free for two weeks when you go to Hulu Plus dot com slash Rooster Teeth. That's a special offer for everyone watching a listening, make sure you go to Hulu Plus dot com slash slash rooster teeth to get the extended free trial and know that we set you.

So go to huluplus.com slash rooster teeth now. Do it and you can watch. Because of stuff online. Don't give you a hard time when you read it. Like the one time I read it, they gave me a very good time. Oh, you started hitting people. Just start fucking slapping them. They threw, they threw things at me.

Yeah. And no one threw anything at you. Oh, I, I, I, I, I, they've done that to me before. They've thrown stuff. I, I, I, I, earlier I had to deflect it. I took my lumps. Why they move the cameras? I can't mess with you when you're reading.

Uh, we had to reposition the cameras for the, uh, to accommodate the patch set. Oh, almost human is going on. That's a new carl urban thing. That's going to just started last night was the first episode. I haven't watched it yet. almost human is going on. That's a new carol urban thing. That's going on. It just started last night was the first episode. I haven't watched it yet. And that's going on Hulu Plus?

It's on, yeah, I'm looking at it. I'm on Hulu right now. And it's on there. Yeah, that's one of the things you can watch on. Do we get free Hulu Plus? Because they sponsor us. No. I've never asked.

I've had a Hulu Plus membership, I think since they started. I have to. So I didn't even bother asking. Well, how much is it? $7.99 a month. With a two week free trial, If you go to who we close to our comm slash rooster teeth. Do that tonight. Give it a try. It's great. I mean,

it's like, it's awesome. It's not. Tens of stuff to watch. And they got it. iPad app, iPhone app, Xbox app. I got an app in my TV for it. It's like, I don't even turn it the whole time. It's awesome. I'm going to see if this is available. And it's a movie. Is this the image you sent to buy this is what I wanted this is my favorite thing So the of all the Jules has done appeared in over the years He was this movie called sim one or Simone right Al Pacino and Winona rest Winona rider there yelling at Joel He's like her assistant and there's a scene where Winona rider and Al Pacino are screaming at each other and Dead in the center of the shot is Joel like looking back and forth between them like trying to like

Play nice and then she turns around and screams at you and then and I just love that Why don't you part your hair like that on a regular basis? That's hard to do It's hard to do I don't know how you what's your hair preparation Gus? Do you have any hair preparation? I wash my hair then I dry it and then I do this and then you put anything in your hair Fuck no. I hate I hate shit in my hair. Do you hate it? Drast me fucking crazy your hair process is very different from day to day probably my hair is flat today I didn't do anything but usually I fuf it up because it's very straight and goes down into my eyes and it annoys me

You grow hair like Because it's very straight and goes down into my eyes and it annoys me so I just hear like Raisi I feel like it was yesterday that you had no let you see your head I had my head shaved in June. This is actually the same haircut. I haven't had it cut It's like every single how my head is the same length right now It looks like a mushroom. It works. No, it doesn't work that way. Just all your hair grow at the same length My hair I can stand my hair straight up if I want to it drives me crazy Your hair is puffy. Yeah, it's amazing, it's an amazing talent.

I would like to have it. One time when we worked at TNI, Nick Gaiardo dropped computer caskers in my hair, and then we couldn't find them. I can lose a pencil in my hair if I want to. I can put like in my hair, I can put... I can lose a dick in my hair. Boy, hey, take it easy. Hey, hey.

Who the plus? I'm trying to back this cat. When was the last time you had a moment in your life? Hey, hey, hey, who the plus The last time you had a moment in your life Wait, just like how did my life end me at this point right now? Because I did yesterday because I'm not I probably can't talk about what I was doing You cannot talk about that you were on a secret Shoot can I describe that position that I was in you were in a secret shoot for YouTube? Okay, well, I was in a place and I was holding a thing and it was weird. I showed them the behind the scenes video I took for you and we'll put it up after that video errors.

Is there a contractual... We were talking about the last time that I had that which was last time I had that was you and I, we were sitting on the set of the Hobbit and we were we were had earphones on and we were listening to a scene from the movie that has yet to happen and I was like how I mean New Zealand I'm like how the hell did what path led me to be so far from what you grew up because of you and I'm just a hobby experience yeah which I'm sure it was something that was you know

Super influential to you when you were younger. It's crazy So I'm watching the habit being made. I'm just like it's just a crazy I have a lot of dust in my mouth and nose still I have a lot of dust. I can't wait to be able to talk about it Yeah, my shoes are so dusty now Hollywood dust or just Like powder donor dust just like powder donor does like we're talking about we're talking about

we're talking about we're talking about we're talking about we're talking about we're talking about we're talking about we're talking about we're talking about we're talking about

we're talking about we're talking about we're talking about we're talking about we're talking about we're talking about we're talking about we're talking about we're talking about we're talking about

we're talking about we're talking about we're talking about we're talking about we're talking about we're talking about we're talking about we're talking about accidentally killed the oldest animal in the world. What? What? I guess in 2006, they found this type of clam. And I guess you can count, you can tell I hold it just by counting the rings on it. But the rings on the outside were kind of fucked up, so they started to open it up and count the rings on the inside.

And they realized that this clam was 507 years old. Wow. And they had just killed it by opening it up to figure out how old it was. Did they not know it was alive? This thing, they knew it was alive. They didn't know how old. Wow. And they had just killed it by opening it up to figure out how old it was. Did they not know it was alive? This thing, they knew it was alive. They didn't know how old it was. I wanted to figure it out.

This thing has been around since 1499. Some assholes find it. They're like, I wonder how old this thing is. I'm cracking open. Wow. I mean, when it gets to that point, you almost have the conversation with yourself. Would I have rather killed a person?

Or this thing, this timeless thing that that became alive seven years after Columbus landed in the new world. So they told they apparently don't they live long. I don't know. What is the love of a cloud? Apparently fucking the age. What's seven? According to the climate was still 14 nights. It was found Apparently fucking the world of the age. What's 7 on the corner of the climb? It was still 14 nights. It was found.

It was found still the same. It was found on a seabed near Iceland. Have you seen those waves? They gave it a name. Well, you see that. Ming. What is it? Ming.

Ming. That's right. Am I in G? There's a weird rock that's alive. Have you seen it? No. Go on. There's a creature good good it's

It's it's a rock right on it's on the you find out a beach and stuff near the rocks But you can saw it open and there's guts inside it It's like a rock with guts and they slice really yeah, and and all it does I'm waiting to start this is how this thing thing works, it filters in water through the rock. No, and it filters out nutrition. And all it does is just have water flow through it. Then to reproduce, it sprays out eggs and sprays out sperm and just hopes it sucks. How can there be, and then a new rock will work?

How can there be a species alive today that humanity hasn't figured out a way to eat? This is it! Look, there it is, that's the rock with guts. Oh my god. Yeah. Wait, hold on, this time the stream yet. Wait, wait, tell that. And that is a delicacy. People will cut these rocks open and scoop out the guts.

So people do eat it. They do eat it. They do eat it. What people eat that? And basically it doesn't eat anything. What the hell is that? It's a rock with guts. It's not a rock dude.

A rock does not have guts. A rock is not fucking a like, Lucy was not formed in a volcano. What is that? That formed at the bottom of fucking riverbank. Here's a question. Here's a question Was that a rock that something got inside like a spore and then expanded? No, that's normal. Is that like a spore that like excretes rock and then build rock around the outside of it? What's the story with this thing? It is born like that. And who eats it? I'm googling rock animal. What is my life because locals eat it raw or in stews and What's the story with this thing? It's born like that. Who eats it?

I'm googling rock animal. What is my life because? Locals eat it raw or in stews and non-locals describe the taste as So bitter with a slight iodine flavor. What the fuck is an iodine flavor? Where are these locals from? Where is this? Yeah, where are locals?

They eat rocks. So they're rock fish. From Zelda, right? Doesn't that it? Wasn't that a thing in the never ending ending story that giant rock that eat rocks living rock There's there's a weird opening of time. There's a whole race of people the rocks Are these people from Ocarina time? I don't know

Where the fuck are these people from the public rocks? That's probably an Oz It's looks exactly it's not a rock So it's not it's exactly like a rock with guts So it's not it's exactly like a rock with guts That's so probably not yet. I didn't add any information. I didn't give I was totally right. It looks like it It's backed it up. It's not a rock. We know you're not insane now. Yeah, they did not imagine. Oh, yeah Oh look this self-sexing Secretive and testless don't talk about stuff on that TV until it's on this TV

I would hate to I would hate to be an animal like this clam or this rock that people want to kill you just to like oh look I found this thing and now we have to kill it like this guy's gonna stab this thing just to show how weird it is. Get the knife in there. I don't watch this. Yeah it's like you literally literally just a rock because he cut it through with a knife. What what is that material? That's oh all right. Why are we watching this? This is like a big mushroom It's like on carpenter moves. This is like a snow film for those rock things It's like a mushroom. It's like they took it out to the beach and they fucking cut its head off What it is it's like it's like oh look. I'm so excited to see this thing

Let me kill kill it to show you how weird it is. Well, but it's okay though It's okay though if it's let me kill it and then I'm gonna eat it So would you be annoyed if someone took a fish out of the ocean on a fish and rather than kill it to show you how weird it is. Well, but it's okay though. It's okay though if it's let me kill it and then I'm gonna eat it So would you be annoyed if someone took a fish out at the ocean on a fish and rather than kill it? I would be annoyed if an alien showed up on earth and said look at these humans weird to have all these guts watch watch this Brrrr And then gutted me in front of its buddies to show how weird I was they weren't doing that for a laugh He was probably mining out all the stuff. You are pretty weird. I doubt it. It was a fucking you It was like a handheld YouTube video.

He's showing his friend how weird it is. Also, he would have been like, he was showing the camera like the inside of it. Like, you know, here we go. Found in the shallow waters off of Chile and Peru. Oh, you got it. I mean, it looks like a tomato on the inside of it. It's a sea sponge of some kind.

It's a sea sponge, right? See? They're not rocks Marie, they're minerals. Yeah, I fucking love Twitter. So where is this? So this is not a rock at all. No. Where is the rock? It's not a rock. I mean, I'm also the guts. I don't know if that's blood. It's red. Do blood inside of animals. Red, see your urchins have blood. C-sponge. C-sponge. Sure. Is there a difference? I don't know. I mean, there is. That rock has blood and the blood is clear. What?

You know what would make all the difference is if when you when he stabbed into it, if it went, oh god, see no one would stab into it. We were talking about the worst sushi we ever had. The worst sushi ever has sea urchin. You ever had sea urchin? Oh my god. No, you're just applying what Karen's saying in my ear. What does she say? She's talking about sear chins. Yeah, talking about top chef and sea urchin. Thank you. I'd like to go eat You know what we should do is you should have a podcast where we go eat weird shit. No food gross. Let's do that Sear chins. It's like sea urchin yellow like neon yellow Well, they're different. It's like it's like it's not yeah, it's gross. Oh, oh Taste good. No, it's bad the whole way

What if it tasted like chocolate like it's the way something when you go to eat sushi, but it doesn't what if it was What if it was chocolate? Have you eaten it? Have you eaten it? Yes, I've eaten it. It tastes like What it's horrible and just a giant surgeon It's it's got a horrible texture. It's like eating like if you collected a bunch of snot and then You're focused on the texture. I am! That's a big part of it. Did I ever tell you about my encounter with sea urchins in Puerto Rico?

I was at, uh, like, would you drink a glass of snot? And if, and if not Joel, would you not drink it because you'd be afraid it would taste weird or because of the slimy gross texture. This is what you off a little bit more. Just get the dust out. Get the dust out of your system. No, the dust out of your system. It's horrible.

It's like the sushi that you have to put wasabi directly on it and then it like I will eat. I have no problem eating a sea urchin. I want to eat a sea urchin. You go to any sushi place, anywhere in the world, and go have uni, uni sushi at uni. That's what I was. When I was in Puerto Rico.

It's gross. One time I was on this like really remote beach. I was kind of close to my house, but I like going there because it was hard to get to. There was never anybody there. So I went out there, I was by myself, the weather was kind of rough that day So I was swimming when I was done swimming. I started walking back to the shore

But the problem with this beach and one of the other reasons that were very many people is there was a lot of shallow rock if tide was low So I'm walking back to the beach. People would go on the beach because it was rocks. It's like bad like really sharp Jagged rocks. Okay, so I was I was snorkeling actually And I saw these giant urchins like this big like basketballs fuck that so I'm done So I mean I'm walking back to the shore and I step on a fucking sea urchin get out of here Yeah, so I step on it with my right foot And I fall and I fall like face forward into the sharp jagged rocks And I land like on my hand and on my forearm.

So my arm is just like shredded to ribbons. I've got fucking sea urchin spines in my right foot. And I like dragon myself out of the water, like onto the beach and there's nobody around. Like no help. I'm parked like literally like a mile away. I drag myself out of the ocean. I crawl up on the beach. I look and there's a mongoose running by.

And it like stops and it looks at me. And it just hisses. I. Look, this is my life. I'm gonna fucking die out here in the middle of nowhere. This mongoose is gonna watch me die. I have to get up and walk a fucking mile with sea urchin in my foot. You don't pull it out. I couldn't. It was too deep. Like it had gone in and then just snapped off. Every story that you've told me about Puerto Rico sounds exactly like that. I mean to me, Puerto Rico sounds like hell on earth or a video game. It sounds like beautiful. You should definitely visit. Don't try to live there. I just spent some time with Dan, slowman guys, Dan, because we did a couple of shoots. And I actually cut his vacation short. He's been traveling around South Asia, South East Asia. He was in Vietnam and

He had his phone stolen from his hotel room While he was asleep in the hotel room. Really wow him and his girlfriend were asleep some dude broke in and stole their phones How I would leave immediately they stayed there again. No way They still was in the room with me when I was sleeping. I would leave their place. He was also in a cab, same country, and a some guy opened the cab door and started trying to sell him an umbrella. He's like, by the umbrella and all that. And then Dan felt the guy reach into his pocket and try and pull his phone out.

So Dan, like, dived out of the cab and got him in a headlock. And the guy was like, I wouldn't, I wouldn't want to spend any time there. He just stayed there for ages. I'd leave immediately. I would get in the cab and go to the airport. Wow, that's crazy. Was it ever when the fucking super typhoon hit? He was in the Philippines two days before that typhoon hit.

Oh my god. Oh, we're going, we're leaving. That's fucking crazy. And the thing had sustained winds of 195 miles an hour with gusts over 235. I saw a video of some dude trying to rescue people from a flooded hotel and he's like pushing the residents out on a mattress. And then at the end he's like, oh, okay, we got electricity, I can feel it.

And like apparently the water became electrified and he was like, oh, she's Jesus. Yeah. That was an nightmare. It's like when the tsunami hit Indonesia. Like the footage from that was terrible, terrible. Yeah, because that would be the videos where it's like, okay, the water level's rising. If it was me, I'd probably go climb that pole.

Right. And in like a minute, the pole is like a meer underwater. Yep, it's that was so crazy scary. So how many people died in this typhoon? Like 10, 10, 10. I think they even know yet. Like the last thing was 10,000 Japan at the people still dying because of food. They're having real issues right food

The one in Japan and like a hundred thousand people died or something. I don't know so a lot of people Yeah, it was crazy. Well, it's funny that you see that thing about the guy who went into his hotel room and stole his cell phone Because I had a robbery at where I'm living. Recently. Recently, somebody went into my place and stole some shit and took off. And basically they used the key. I'm at an apartment.

And basically it was a maintenance guy. Yeah, you know, who let himself in and took a bunch of my shit. And I called them, I was like, hey, listen, I need to get the locks changed and they're like, don't worry sir, we'll send over the person who robbed you immediately to change the lock.

So he came over and he was like, wow, I can't believe your friends robbed you. And I'm like, my friends robbed me. He's like, yeah, they probably have your key. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, my friends have the key to this place. And then we had to go for this thing where I had to pretend like I didn't know that he robbed me

and he had to pretend like he's a good rob me guy I'm pretty sure I'm 99% sure it was it's just it's awful and I'm still this place I needed like get out of the place, but it's like Every day I go and I go to my car and he's like he's there. He's like hey have a good day at work. I'm like I Had to rain him I do rain him drop by his by my apartment during the day to make sure he's not robbing him. I don't get a camera. Get a camera.

Yeah. I see a camera. What's your sense of it? I got a move. Just point it right at the door. I got a move. I told him I was like, you know, when he was there and I was like pretending I was like, ah, ha, ha,

looks like I, you know, I don't really have anything else valuable in my apartment. And I guess I'm going to have to get a camera and install it in here. we'll close that again. So could you immediately tell you've been robbed? Like did he route through stuff? Was it just like some things? It's that slew discovery where you go in there and you're like,

oh wait a minute, I didn't leave a shirt on the floor here and it's like, why is that door opened? And then you go over and it's like, oh my iPad is gone and the iPad stand is gone. He went through and like, I like the iPad with the iPad stand is gone. He went through and like I like the iPad with the iPad stand making it the most expensive pointless alarm clock in his room. And he stole that and in like, still like my- Did you have my iPhone installed on it? It was the first generation iPad so it's like no. But it's just sort of like that's a whole thing. So- sucks. Yeah, and I gotta move, you know, but I gotta move. Well, if you need any help moving Gavin right here,

he's willing to help you. Do you? I've helped him move before. I did it. Yeah, I know. You did help me move before. That was fun, very kind. Yeah, so moving is the hardest thing ever.

Why is there a picture of a clam on that? Oh, that's a video that what you do. We were talking about clams. I wanted to show this video, but now it's pretty relevant. You want to show it anyway? It's someone steal the clams. Show the clam. So there's a clam that you do that we were talking about clams. I wanted to show this video But now it's pretty relevant you want to show it anyway. It's someone steal the clay show the clay So there's a clam and somebody put on their table and then they put about just salt on the table and they discovered a horrible thing about clams So you put about Escape oh

Oh I just like I need to find a home Like I need to find a room That's yeah, I like how long I've repeated time of this. It's real time. Yeah, it's real time. Oh Oh my god It was snail base. It's a seal. Someone's gonna put salt on their ass. Oh, I have one of those liquid one of those licking oh my god why did you go to that?

I never thought of that. It doesn't I've seen this video. It's like you were the first thing you go to. That was so good. He goes that someone to think of that. Yeah, so that's horrifying. That's a clammy bite of story.

You know what's funny? I bite the store Salt on his counter We should I mean selfish race Listen, oh, so is that how they get nutrition? I know I know it doesn't like the soul, right? I mean what happened there is he put salt in the thing and it was like I'm out of here It went on the table and it felt the bunch of salt in the table like well fuck that's even worse I don't think so happen, right? You if you put salt on a slug it kills it You had a thing that's the same kind of slug that it's Different can it be it's a big fucking it was looking salt

Tongue it was turning into acid It was like a giant tongue The third YouTube comment on that video is, oh man, this video, I'm highest fuck. So much awesome, that's someone written on the whole. I'll bet you right now, I will load up three loads of comments. Oh my god. Quick click and I'll get like four big comments and no one has said anything. I guarantee you someone has said that I guarantee the someone

Someone has been rimmed by a clown. Oh my god. I'm I'm going to Google clamrimmers.com. I'm going to Google right now All right, I'm looking it up. You know, it's so it's so easy to be a gay guy. I'm just saying You can have what animals and nature You got it. The hell is wrong with you. you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you So one who wants to put a moving muscle up their asshole Really is not straight. What's that good to do with gay? Why do you all see why first of all why you see me talking about a guy in a woman licks your asshole. Is that gay? Fuck What was my You went you went all in with the

Con There we go Oh If I watch that video he goes you can use it. Oh, you know, it's only can put ass salt on the wrestle How did you make these comments less offensive? You somehow managed to make that like we we we Gavin you get out of these conversations all the time like the time when I got the fight on the life podcast And where I said that you called me out about live media or whatever or or or cloud sage it was fucking him if you go back and listen to it Gavin leads up to the mic and he goes well you like cloud sage burning and then he leads back and you and I get a

fucking fight because I don't know what that is right the fuse and step back yeah that I understand I was so lost I was like I just I was just talking about Clownceaves. It was him, it was Gavin. I mean, this podcast from the history of its inception and every conversation, it's all like that. We're so, we'll just say, one thing, and a completely deviated, and no one knows. Yeah, like calling our gay dudes. Apparently, I'm not currently, that's Barney M.O. I'm calling him out.

Oh, so YouTube was down for like 20 minutes today. You know what I loved about that is I got to give a shout out to Barbara or whoever did I assume it was Barbara is I thought as soon as YouTube went down I thought I can get real. We have all we have our own website that's up. I want to make a tweet that go go to our website and our Barbara had already made that tweet. That was the best we had.

Good job. That was the best tweet. Yeah. It was like, oh, YouTube's down. RishiD.com is still like, I hate that fucking message. I think I've said it before on the podcast. We will dispatch a team of trained monkeys to look into this problem. Just fix the problem.

Don't give me a fucking cute error message. Yeah. Although we have kind of a cute one where it says arg. It does say that, but it doesn't say anything else just as arg at the title. Yeah, though the air and even that like the cute You don't like the cute no like the fail-wale or any that not for a multi-billion dollar website Existed you know six years before like Twitter's cute They always say yeah absolutely why I'm saying people don't rely on our website as an income. Nobody relies on our website.

I do. Yeah, I mean, what the fuck you think you're doing right now? The uses don't. He said you don't have customers that are like, oh, here's a funny error message. Meanwhile, you're not getting any revenue for providing content. I had a good point. You did have a good set it wrong.

I didn't say wrong. You said no one makes money from our website. That's what you said. It was a bad way to put one of your brilliant points. It's a problem. You misunderstood. Sometimes you want to say chums. Well, sometimes you say American English is your second language.

So I can understand the problem. Why am I looking at this? Jollis to googling. Well, you googling muscle. This is the most embarrassing. I can't even Google this because it'll be in my history forever. Oh, I'm that ship is sale for this so long ago I'm literally have written muscle gay a-ness And that's you that's your full. I'm not gonna search for you. You try to find with that there was like I Can we gotta go back and we get to look at the day at the we need listen We need one of those court reporters on the podcast to be able to read stop typing stop typing kind of people

Yeah, we need that right we need a court reporter To type out everything that said so we have it on so you're looking like refer back to the tape right away Right, it would have stopped our argument at the life podcast if there was a creature That was basically the same thing as that clam with a tongue except it's not a tongue It came out and it was just a if it if it It was a fleshlight to scale gross, but there was nothing inside it It was like the opposite of there was no teeth But you could do it see and it would it would like it would suck and it would feel better than the fleshlight and

There were say they were traded for this purpose. Would you go? Safely no, I would say probably not. Because fleshlakes exist and I don't own a fleshlight. I got a clam job this week. I couldn't imagine ever saying that. I couldn't imagine that. And I have to admit that like some of the stupid peep stuff that people have done at a younger age with like stuff like that, I just haven't done stuff imagine that. And I have to admit that like some of the stupid peep stuff that people have done at a younger age with like stuff

like that, I just haven't done stuff like that. Like when you talk about putting salt on your ass. I didn't put salt on my ass. Why would you put salt on your ass? But you did come up with that idea. Yeah, I'm so quickly. I'm saying someone saw that video and then did that. That somebody was you.

You saw, you saw it and immediately thought of that. You immediately thought about that. I think of what an internet person would do. do no that's just a way of this place It's got to be some kind of bad health thing about putting salt in your ass Well, it's so good for you isn't it? Too much Gavin really? In what what you think you I mean if you like would you eat a pull bowl of salt and that would be a good thing to do?

Everything in moderation Salt of your ass What's the like booze? It's just fuck claims in moderation. Let's solve your asshole. What's the line, booze? Just fuck clams in moderation. That's all right. Just so absorb into your blood like alcohol does. It's not going to be one of those things. I have no idea. It gets you salty because it went in your ass and not your mouth. I think from everything I've studied, I would think that I'm going to say salt withdraws through like a nervous system. There's an old statement. It says, do not put salt on a wound.

I'm going to go by that sort of general guide. So you're saying anywhere sensitive. Nice catch on my body. I'm going to treat it as such. I'm not going to introduce any particular potentially sensitive part of my body. Do anything. I'm not putting salt on my your drum. my body to anything I'm not putting salt on my your drum. Yeah, put it in my sinus. I'm gonna mess. It's true. I mean you gotta be people always die from that kind of thing. We had a conversation the fucking time. You you like when you first came over when you first came over and we were downtown you had read an article on the internet about some guy that had I guess shaved off all of his ass hair. It was this long paragraph about like how the miserable that experience was and how and how he's kind of a big dude

and because it was so there was no there was painted that one picture about like the starfish. Yeah. Oh, this, this, uh, you all are having like half a conversation. Are you talking in code? I don't know what the fuck is going on. You can read it. It's connected. It's connected. Don't shave that hair. And that will be the paragraph. It's about a dude. It's kind of big who shaved his gooch. And it's just just it's one of the funniest things I've ever read It's pretty guy talking about reason in nature for everything Yeah, that is a good point like there's a reason We don't talk about I have to put so having a clam lick your asshole

But shaving your Gucci Look it up. We're not talking about that. The fuck is wrong with you guys Have you ever shaved your couch? No You don't like you know how to claim like my ass. Oh, I don't we talked about that. Have you ever salted your ass? Oh, it into the patient of Anyway, all right, we're at time. You're fucking idiot. Let me ask you a question. Would you rather question? So he was out of the Google search history stuff Would you rather post a full-frontal nude photo of yourself on the internet or

Make your Google search history publicly available nude just the nude such history. That is a really interesting question That's what would you I would go with the nude hard beat I would now I'm not gonna walk with you my good. We look up fucked up stuff here for work all the time Oh, there's no context on it. That's the thing. I mean, yeah, and then we also filter what we talk about. Yeah, so there's stuff in my searchers history That's just there's a way mute. I will show everyone my dick rather than show my search history. Well, you've a only you've come close Yeah, I already done it. I mean, you're here's a thing if you could look at your significant others search history Would you do it like their full search history? No, that's a great question I would everybody's privacy. I agree with that.

Yeah. Well, and it's also like, it's also like if you if you see that you develop like an idea of what that person is, but that person is not their search history. It's almost like a track, like a log of your mental drain of thought. Exactly. And it's not who you are. You can piece if they're all together within like 20 minutes You can see why someone went from once the other sometimes and might be better to see the whole because then you go from like Oh a clam to a nice and a this might be a good transition like versus we both start at the top of our searchers You start reading down to somebody something that they won't read that is an amazing idea for a video

That is that's a poker game right there. I mean try this real quick. I'm gonna see him I'm gonna see you on your phone. Gavin gets out It you can get arrested for googling some things right? I don't know if you're interested for it, but we're not living in Russia I Google child pornography and that's fine because Google filters it listen Right, whatever we if we get to the You can be looking for any news are arrested over their Google search. We're not in America anymore Where's my search history on I mean where's my search history on a well they track Joel they track like Books that people check out from the library. That's the way they used to do that. Right. That's evidence You would get arrested for kitty porn right. Yeah, I guess not all right. We're searches for an iOS 7

Where is it you got to go? I don't know. I just taps the search thing and it puts the book most menu. All right. We're time. I love to wrap up. So I want to thank everyone for joining us this evening. Thanks, guys. I think I had a very spirited podcast. Thanks to everyone who's been giving us lots of positive feedback about Gauntlet season two. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. One more thing. Sign up for our newsletter. We have some big news coming out soon some specials On the store and for the website keep up with our news go to roostt.com slash subscribe and You can sign up for our newsletting roostt.com Subscribe and keep up with all the latest news. Get the salt. Bye. Jets, we need to discuss the name. We can't say, looking at, Vic, Yacht and Beard. Cool.

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