Rooster Teeth Podcast - RT Podcast #257

Episode Date: February 11, 2014

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Just click the microphone and use code TEETH when you order at barries.com. Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Rusty podcast. Hey, what's up? This week we featured Mildred Cam. I thought we had so many tweets from people. So many tweets are people saying they liked watching the mouse before we started the podcast that we just stopped the podcast and just have the mouse on for an hour and a half. So, complying with your wishes You know the most popular you stream of all time or live stream of all time was the Ben Hicken don't what the fuck did you name who jumped out of Rupert Ecken block the guy who jumped out of orbit

There you go Ben Hicken doors the modern Felix bum garden jumps out of jumps from Mars and lands on earth That was the most popular live stream all time But before that you know what it was was people watching birds. It was like a bald eagle cam Yeah, the bald people were not even birds. They were watching bird eggs. That was like a bald eagle cam. Yeah, the bald, the people, not even birds, they were watching bird eggs. That was the most popular live stream ever. Had like 60 million current views.

What? Yeah, it was people watching birds about to hatch. 60 million. Yeah, something like that. I think the bomb garden thing was 100 million. Live. I'm pretty sure. Somewhere dead.

Some people died during the course of the struggle met you went on for a while. Yeah, there's a I think it was on like the animal planet or something like on their website They have like 24 hour I'm giving you my hot myself. Yeah, happy Valentine's day. I watch the public bull for a super bowl. No, no I do do that. I do do that. I think you have a shit about Seattle or Denver playing Congratulations. We use Denver as a way obviously. Seattle C-Hawks for showing up. I meant Seattle. I'm a Denver. So I watched the Puppie Bowl because the kids wanted to see it.

Even my kids were like two minutes in there like, this is it does. Yeah. It was like the lowest rent production ever. It really really like somebody did that. Did it go downhill from last year or? I didn't see it last year. It live up the expectations.

I'm a late adopter. Did that be blow-up to you? I'm going to break it to you, but I think that the Puppie Bowl was actually filmed in expectations. I'm a late adopter To them people I would like it to you But I think that the puppy ball was actually filmed in October. I think that shit is rigged. What I think they filmed a shit way in advance Fuck that I bet on it. Do you think they would just they could just film the next decades with the Puppies like you could film every puppy ball with those puppies I think would still be airing them long after those puppies are Yeah, by the time you see like the fifth year they're all dead Well, I took a dark turn in the her and puppies. I don't get people viewing. Yeah people love dead puppies

So speaking of dead puppies Valentine's days this week The at the all hands meeting this morning Jeff legitimately said that achievement Hunter has a short week this week because of the holiday What is that? Yeah, so why are you guys taking what's what's going on with the love fest and the achievement under office? That was a joke. Was that for real? Yeah, that's all you guys are stopping on Friday. I'm out of town. He's out of town.

That's it. Well, that makes sense. Welcome to Rooster. That makes a lot more sense. I thought, what the chicken Friday off? That's the thing. That's the joke he's like. I mean, I take, we're really not,

are you guys producing stuff on Friday? Yeah. I take one Friday off every month. It just happens to be on Valentine's Day. Every month, I'm out of town. It's way that sound. What? So what? Wait, what? Why just sounds scared. I don't know what it was saying.

You said it mean you made it sound like you're taking Valentine's Day off every month. You said you said I take a Friday off every month. It just happens to be on Valentine's Day. Like this month that happens to be on Valentine's Day but the way you said it made it sound like. I don't think anyone in the audience thought that that's what I meant there. It sounded like it. Right. Right. I'm sure no one actually thought there's a Valentine's Day every month. Sometimes the audience needs to be notified of opportunities to think that you're a fucking idiot. Sometimes they need that. They like the helping hand of like, oh, I think that one could be stupid in that particular case. Most of the time you're not not most of the time you're very well spoken very intelligent oh thank you thank you thank you

thank you we can like make take one idiot secrecy and like twist it so it makes it sound like you're dumb so playing off of that rarely playing off of that we have a little experiment lined up I don't think even you know about this I think I do we have four different bottles of water here. I'm not gonna have to drink tap water, though. I don't know what they are. Four different bottles of water. Supposedly, I know which ones are which. Supposed, okay, I asked not to be told. Supposedly, we found the water supply in Texas that's rated the best quality water. Right. One of these is those. Top 100 in the nation, one of the cities of the top 100 happens to be in Texas. I think there's like 200 total cities.

By the way, in Texas has three of the top 10 cities in the nation. Right. Four of the top 20. So they would do well not to be in the top 100. Yeah. So we have one from that city, two that are bottled water and one that's Austin tap water. Oh, sorry

So you're gonna yeah, I'm we're curious to hear what you think best Okay, so before we get to that I'm sorry to put you through this I really want to see it before we get to that you'll notice that balls are labeled lines and tigers and bears Omai because Kara didn't want to label them one two three four because she thought you'd be prejudiced against four and favorite number one But oh my oh my is four right now. No, I'm in order that mean why not picked things that I have an order Let's go even why would you be prejudiced against any number? What does that even mean? I know what I'm sense that me I care was like she wanted him Gavin getting in her head of like how she numbered them He was gonna he was gonna turn a paranoid. He was gonna fair it out her thought process and see through it I'm pretty sure while she was announcing this whole like a labriter plan nobody gave a shit

She's I don't want to see through it. I go see through what? The water The water test I identify my smell You know, you got a big nose Now, I'm actually taste with his nose Gavin, there is something I want to notify you of Something I'm aware of here Tatwoah

Which is they figured out that the city in To me in Texas is one of the top 100 cities by water quality In the nation, top 100 And so Karen knew somebody who lived in that town and had that person mail mail the bottle of tap water too. So one of the things you're going to be drinking is the mail bottle of tap water. We don't spare any expense in our experiment department here at RISP podcast. So you said bears is tap water. Yeah. You've

only smelled them. You're not gonna taste it. No, okay Well, we'll go through all of them and then we'll reveal the answer so bears tap water. This one's bubbly that Don't drink bear then you're okay. You'll be avoiding Austin tap water. Let me see what bears smells like Let me get a whiff of it smells some bad bear like good here. All right prepare yourself So like chlorine sounds a pool this was disgusting What about the other one? Let me get it with all right there. They all the same is it just some weird no no, no, they're definitely different They're all different. It's a bit minty that one smell like chlorine, but I don't know if that's the water of the bottle

Maybe they went a little like They wash these bottles that was bleach before they put the water in they're all the same bottle No, they're four different bodies. Yeah, in order of niceness It'll be oh my and tiger then lion and then bad scores. Okay, so Rearrange it put yeah, which one is the good one so You're got the back line and bear are bad All my entigers are good Is that it? Yeah, so this is the good end towards me good

I'll be here then drink bad. Yeah good all right, so do we want to hear what they actually are carried you want to reveal to us Bear is the top quality top 100 cities in the nation Not a body is better. Tyler Texas. I'm in drink that what's lion? in the nation. It's not a body. It's bad. Tyler Texas. I'm wondering that. What's Lion? Lion is Austin tap water. There you go. And those are the bottle of waters. Which one is Tiger? Tiger. Dessani. And then oh my is Evian then. Yeah. Pretty much right? Pretty good. You know, I got it. He didn't even taste

them. I know I drink him. Literally just by smelling them. Drink water. He was able to Hand me hand me that Tyler tap water. I'm gonna try it Yeah, throw me give me that one How's that confusing the fucked up part is we were all worried he would legitimately throw an open bottle of water. I think it was okay The top 100 people in Africa will be lost for us right now Oh, they would have treated the clean will mostly laughing you actually It's you to me. I never I think it's all the same. I drink like eight of these today of Austin tap water by the way

All right, his is Tyler Texas tap water Riveting conversation The audience at home. Oh the look of approval from Bernie. Hmm Michael. Would you like? Yeah, sure that talk one hundred Kuala way it's water. No, it isn't it's gross What Michael's Michael's judgment is it's wet sure why not fuck it? Oh, I'll drink a nice glass of beer big Big a big swing of bear Swallow it down.

That tastes like beer. Can you, but do you not like Austin tap water? No, we're awful. And you don't ask this, does have like a slight, minerally, a minerally finished to it. Finish. It doesn't finish clean. We have food crates.

All right, it tastes different, but it's all just one. Give me some of that, oh my. Jesus Christ. Not the tiger, fuck you. There. I don't want to decide what give me some of that oh my Jesus Christ now not the tiger fuck you I don't want to sign it give me some of that every odd I dare you dude who wants lion you guys want lion So are you as everyone following at home so speaking of um, hey you got very very very yeah So speaking of weird water I've uh on my floor. I tweeted about it yesterday There's this tiny little spot of water like this that I keep finding on my floor. I tweeted about it yesterday There's this tiny little spot of water like this that I keep finding on my floor Just it's like a laminate crappy wood floor and I wipe it out

There's there's my tweet and It's there all the time. Well, I'll wipe it up and six hours later. It's there again You have a drip of machine. There's no drip dude. I've like palm with the ceiling. It's not weird. It's not wet. It's not you pee moldy. I Think what it is. Here we go Because I went stop. I once found a cockroach lying on his back in a load of juice in the middle of my floor and I was like, oh did I crush a cockroach today? That is gross. You say juice. What do you mean? It was just in a puddle that looks exactly like that. Okay, like it was honest Don't cockroach fluid. Yeah, I figured like maybe I crushed it. It was like orange juice. Okay, no

I went to pick up the dead cockroach. It was alive Jumped up length it and like trail the juice with it. I was like so did the cockroach come out here? Is that what you did? Is that what is that exactly how you reacted when the cockroach jumped up in your hand? You went huh, or did you go like this? Yeah, I would love to see you do that. It was a lot of this So it liked it and I was like so did the cockroach come out here? Go on to its back and then pistol over itself I

Didn't know I didn't know what order I don't know what order like how the liquid go around I didn't know what order that was. I don't know what order, like how the liquid got around. I'm thinking now is that cockroaches might release some like oily water and I think that's where the cockroaches are pissing in my little fun. There's one of the exact same spots. You saw the thing, there's like a load of little patches where the water was. That's actually what you know my.

By the way, I'm getting it. Cockroach oily water. We've been collecting it for months. I I Tweeted the picture and everyone was saying there's like ghost jizz and stuff like that But I really might set up a camera and time lapse that piece of floor. You should know it hell It's coming from you should absolutely how frequently does it come back? Like you wipe it when will you expect to see it again? Well, usually I'm I wipe it and I leave for the day Good work. It's back. It'll be back by the time I get home tonight

You're waiting for you. I'm gonna put this out there. You have a cat. I don't have a cat You do have a cat in the main house then the cat never comes in my eggs not your cat How come I see videos of you with egg on your chest and chips? Sometimes I let it. Yeah, it's not a good. That's a show cat like I never go to the internet cat Yeah, that was that's also way too little to be like cat piss. Yeah Yeah, that was the ice age. That wasn't it. Yeah, let's let's be honest If a cat really only pissed that little no one would be upset if it went inside. He's building it up

I really am confused. I have no idea what you're confused. It's a trip It's not a drip. Why would it? Why would you find it? There's a four slanted is it like Even the fighting in from the side piss They're coming out of some cockroaches pissing on themselves and they're falling over. That's stupid.

Cockroach piss? That's more the joke. That's a cockroach made a puddle that big. That would be like me pissing a 55 gallon drum every time I was in the bathroom. That's how big it is. They're drinking. Might just be like a weird defense fluid. But the cockroach defense fluid. And obviously, worked with you because the cockroach got away when you

Brought it did it was planned it possible the other Theory I have is that Griffin gave me a rug that I never used because the way it was folded it was kind of crushed So when I rolled it out it has a crease it was creased in like sections So I thought I'll roll it up backwards and then just put it against the wall for a while That was about a year ago And I still haven't put the rug down but around the base of the rug is a ton of cobwebs and a ton of what dead insects and stuff So I think maybe there's a gigantic spider living on the inside of my rolled up rug and that's pissing

I don't know that like insect piss is such a thing as you're explaining up to, that story for that. I don't know that like insect piss is such a thing as you're explaining it to me. Well, if you were to say, it's not a paper piss. They don't piss. They don't piss. They don't piss all over the place. They never see the spider pissing for a long time.

They see the same as that, man. They basically get a spider litter box. They don't, if you set up a spider urinal. How big is that? That's like a size, it's like an inch. I can see other spots Yeah, so it's always around that spot So it's not in the exact same spot. Why is it the other like rings where it was?

Yeah, at this point do you look okay a serious talk here Do you still seriously wipe it up and clean it up every time you see it or as is at the point now where you just like fuck it If I wipe it up just coming back anyway, I wipe it up most times I see it If you don't wipe it up does it grow no so only grow to that size and then stop so that doesn't evaporate the the insect does not need to piss again if you see he already pissed there he goes out there he's the bully goes what the fourth the guy who I think what needs to happen he's need to go home. I need to check the center of that rug and see if there's a giant pissing spider in there. Like you gotta get to the bottom.

I'm sure a spider with eight dicks. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna go hand on each of them. Yeah, but just pissing all over the floor. I just want free stand the week. I like how even the whole leap of this ridiculous scenario could easily be tested if he looked inside the rug, but he's like nah I don't I don't want a gigantic rug-sized spider's come out Like with videos in Texas, right? And you're what now underneath that floor if I recall correctly a sand, isn't it?

Oh, yeah It was before that wood was put on it just bricks and rubble and sand. Yeah, so it could be coming up through Could be up through the laminate floor. Possibly. Yeah, there's a hole. There's a hole. It's not real wood. Well, it's even more likely than. Oh, all right. Is it? I don't know. It's like wood is kind of porous. Yeah, so it's like laminate. Laminate is just like fucking sawdust. It's pressed down, right? Oh, I thought it's plastic. Mm-hmm. Fuck if I know. I'm a tile. You should set up a tie-blast right you should set up a time lapse. Yeah, I will

Do you can't like your lights on all the time? In my like the hard He looked like you were trying to trick him like he had that confused look on his face like I'm why being a funnel He looks at my red bull and it was confusing no He's like he's like he's filled it all over his leg and he's got drops of red bull is like now I think that's probably what it fucking is. It's probably a red bull and it was confusing no he's filled out you see here's why he's filled it all over his leg and he's got drops of red bull is like no I think that's probably what it fucking is it's probably red bull with it wait wait he's even notice he was like blah blah blah did he want to go on red red bull did any sort of small insects or spiders or something Gavin

last minute or two is like really fast they come out they're pissed and they leave yeah they pissed the 55 gallon drum and then they fucking book it in the car I would set up my GoPro to time that sit but I lost my GoPro. I'm now down to go price Yeah, did you Jack and Joel? We were invited out to the circuit of the Americas, which is the F1 track in Austin. Very cool. A very cool. We were invited out by one of our longtime audience members who goes out there for events. He's on a racing team of some kind. And I couldn't go.

And but Jack and Joel and I think Gilby took him up on it. Yes, they went out there and they said it was just absolutely amazing. Jack was showing me like picture after picture of amazing cars today. And there was a story somewhere and I've completely lost it. What were we talking about before this? Joe Price? Oh, the GoPro.

So, yeah, so the guy was saying like he touches GoPro's in his car so he had 200 miles an hour. He loses one race. Just like, yeah, 300 bucks. We lost that one. Wow. Who knows?

Yeah, I was driving probably a $700,000 car. The other guy. Yeah, I don't know what kind of car is a Ducat Lambatine Drove. Something there that Jackson. When we did the immersion, there was driving probably a $700,000 car the other yeah, I don't know what kind of car It was a lab team drove something that the Jackson when we did the immersion There was a guy who did that who outfitted his car with a bunch of go pros and chased you guys around for some of those Yeah, those exterior shots of the car Yeah, you're talking about we know because we just shot some emotions the immersion at Atlanta That's the immersion at Lanta right's a guy who his whole job was to

drive a car as close as possible to other cars and his car was covered in camera. Why would you confuse about which immersion we he was talking about? Make sure that he interested the people who hear this don't think it's a new one when we filmed where we had cameras on a car. Oh, because he said when we filmed immersion we cover. We just we we do you are confused. I was confused. No, he's got it. No, he's got a shit. You think you think you can't be used. See I can view confused. No, he's got it. No, he's got it shit

You think you think you think I can see how confused you are when you see me on your time lapse Can't miss a little No, listen, what do you do? You got a time left and it's just ray comes into your home Like once a night you just notice sins are for an hour drooling And then just go so the most puzzling part about that video would be how did you get here? Like who gave Ray a ride in the middle of the night to come drool on the floor That might possibly be the worst explanation for just a continuing drop of water on your floor

And what do you do if it falls from the ceiling? If it will just appear and you'll be like this amazing look at just a period out in the world We said now no it was not bug I'm honestly I only got a time I just I know it's not the bug thing on back to this You're really think it's a bug The cockroach was in the same kind of puddle maybe it's cursed Maybe he just like walks for the puddle that's always there anyway It was it no that was in a different place or maybe he was there when the puddle appeared and it drowned him Maybe it's like they bring you to triangle in your floor

Maybe it's a liquid cockroach and when you get cold enough, it's a lit of Thousand what if this is what if I live on the spot in the universe where cockroaches come out of the earth And this is it we've discovered the neck is on like an ancient cockroach Experience of the cockroaches you got your own poltergeys. Yeah, we're pretty good on any help I'm so just confused. Are you scared? You're nervous by it at all. It's just weird. It makes me. It makes me. It makes me. Is it like, does it look like water? Taste it.

It's just smelling juice. It's like, when you wipe it up, is it clear? Or does it have a color to it? It's clear. Is it like slimy or just wet like water? Wet like water really? Maybe smell this rip. I just smell it. It's starting to sound like water. Yeah, it's condensation. Yeah, it's the drop of liquid on the floor. Start to sound like water. My age-brit opinion might be water dripping. You have a separate AC unit for in there right

yeah yeah yeah yeah it's got a station yeah the dress up for the ghost lives yeah that's a good answer ghost you're when you set it up we have to know we have to know by next podcast all right I'll set up I need to buy a GoPro I'll do well listen I know see you'll go pro and slow mo in case it's real quick you don't know you got to cover both angles do a slow pro yeah you need to come up with that in case it's real quick. You don't know you got to cover both angles do a slow pro Yeah, you need to come up with that product well It's a wearable is gonna do wearable slow Okay, I already does slow mo anyway

We gotta rush to the patent office go slow 240 Better than 5s What's the 5a 120? So listen, I'm I'm gonna rely on you as an expert now because I've got to go back to this thing. Gavin is absolutely correct. He can identify waters and we can't hold that against him. That was amazing.

I told you I knew it. I told Karrot in the control room is going to be very disappointed by the way this works out because he will be able to do it. I ran this test with him already. Right. So smell the water in your own floor. What is the time whether it's tap water? Well, I mean, it's a start, whether it's water or not, you know what water smells like go from there. If you smell your floor and say, listen, guys, I smelled it. You can trust the super sniffer. We're inclined to believe you after this test. Then we'll go from there. Maybe, you know, maybe the bug pists slightly more plausible. I mean, I've got to get past that first. Have you never just had mysteries in your pop it? Oh, I don't think so really

apartment mystery I don't think so You know, I just been confused by something for an extended period if I did I fixed it if I do like I One time I garbage disposal didn't work so I called maintenance Really? You put a time-lapse camera on it. Yeah, I was like why I wonder if bugs broke you know He was filled with spiders that mysteriously appeared and started pissing in your garbage disposal. I wonder if bugs are building a dam in there to try to flood the basin. Gavin, I trust you though. I think you'll get it figured out. I really do. I have to say,

it's bugging the crap out of me. Is it really? How much time would you think you spent thinking about? It's dropping water on you spent a couple weeks. I didn't think where my, you know the staircase that goes up to my bedroom? It's like, yeah, yeah. Shut the fuck up. I don't wanna get on Tumblr. So it's got like a right angle turn in it.

And when I first moved in, but the mattress just goes soup and goes around the corner and goes straight up. Box springs a little more rigid, so it didn't do that that and it turns out my bed doesn't need a box spring So but I tried it for a little bit and getting around the corner I like dug a trench in the drywall to do that and it's one of those deals where it was a It wasn't a mystery in my house But it's almost looked at for like two months

I'm like I kind of get around to fixing that so I like patch the drywall and then the drywall with the bucket of paints out there for like a week and a half after that. It's like the slowest project of all time. That's like the biggest mystery. So I have something similar in my house that occurred during construction renovation five years ago and I still look at it every day. I'm like, I'm gonna fix that. I still have gotten around.

When the siding was being put on outside my house, they missed attaching it to a. Oh, don't so a nail head come through and broke the the drywall just above my door It was like a little crack in the dry wall above the door where the nail head come in It's like well drywall is cracked up there. I've painted over it. I just I just will not fix it I put two different layers of pain on it was like now. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna patch that That's like I need a I need to hire like a real person who can fix stuff to fix that. Well, you're not doing it because you would mess it up. Absolutely, I would get about four hours

in a project and realize like, I'd be half my wall would be gone. Let me say some dry wall is a fucking art. Is your wall their texture at all? It's texture? Don't do it. Pain over it. Keep it in.

Eventually it'll fill in with late decks. When I took my, you know, I got a nest a couple of months ago, when I took my old thermostat off, I realized they had applied the texture while the thermostat was still in the wall. So that's where, yeah, that square is untextured behind it. Yeah. So I put the nest on there and it's got untextured wall around it in a perfect square.

Never gonna do anything about that. Get a bigger nest frame. Yeah. I think that's what we did. I put a picture frame over it. How big was your thermostat before? Because bigger nest frame. Yeah. How big is it? We did open a picture frame over it. How big was how big was your thermostat before? Cause my nest plate is enormous. That was that nest plate comes with a mount that's like this big. Mine does.

I didn't use it. I just like to put the circle on. Oh, no, no, it comes with a mounting plaques with the wall plates for the cover of the boo booze. Yeah. They got to got a thing for that. I brought it away. Oh, I was like, Oh, the thermostat's on great. Somebody in our audience has a nest and could send us a plate. I'm going to tell you something. I got a thing.

I'm where we talked about this. I got a little thing in my car that I noticed that's like I can't see it now that I've seen it. The little scratch. I got my license plate finally. It took me a while to get my license plate because there's all this hub up about having the car in Texas that they can't be sold in Texas.

So I had to go through all this hullabaloo to get the car registered in the city of Texas So I put my license plate on finally and there's like a little silver cap that covers the screws that hold the lightspawn I wanted the caps flew off somewhere at some point and now I see it and I'm like it's just driving me fine So someone has a sped Tesla cap a little silver cap How many hours of a screw what how many caps are there? How many screws are there? There's two total caps So now you got you take you gotta take the other one off Maybe so maybe so just until you get the replacement because you can't just have one on and one off Like you said someone sends you a cap

Can you go to like a told find a dealership obviously in another state and pop the cap off of a car in the showroom This is one of the annoying things about it because they can't sell it in Texas is that if I went in and asked them, like, how do I get this thing? They go, we can't talk to you about that. It's like, well, how much would it cost if I did this thing? We can't talk to you about that. You can't just get it online.

Probably could do that if they, I don't know, look it up. Can you go to the show? Can you go to the show? You can do it, you don't have an extra. Good and right, good next time. Go to the show center, I've been extra for this service center. I just fucking throw it away.

Because the people who keep stuff to like, oh, I'll need this like 14 inch screw at some point in my life You're never gonna remember that you had that when it comes time to finally use it I go say I had a I had a moment a couple of weeks ago where I was saved by a screw that I kept Bam you're a library. Yeah So I was when Dan was here, we were filming some slow-mo. And Dan was having a bad luck, everything went wrong from that day. And we were trying to play Cooler Duty Ghost, and we couldn't get into a game at the same

time. If he was in a multiplayer lobby, I couldn't connect to Xbox Live. And then if he backed out, I could, and he was getting frustrated. And he was like, everything sucks today. Everything's broken. And he just pointed at the screen and my project the screen fell off the wall because the screw snapped Enough just snapped completely half and the whole screen went because I was on the TV He was on the screen. Yeah, and I just had one more of the

Shant you let him use a screen. Yeah, what nice guy But he that place honestly is haunted. He was literally he pointed at it and it get it fell down It's been up there for six months. What was the whole purpose of telling us the Multiplayer problems of that story because that's why he was frustrated about when he's pointing Well, you can't just point. Gus. Okay. I got you needed a backstory to the point. Yeah, he was just I thought it was gonna be something about. Yeah. Oh, I need this long screw to fix my internet It's like it's a little misdirection you em night shomal unto me I think the screen fell It becomes the screen fell and Dan was also behind it

Cloned in and he's pissing on It's a very slowly putting his piss out there. How's Dan? That's good. Yeah, currently in Belfast I think and where's Belfast Island? Ireland right? Northern I only know that sounds like a more like European like nation Belfast island? Ireland, right? Northern. It only sounds like a more like European like nation, Belfast. It sounds like it'd be somewhere in Eastern Europe. I always had to do the double check. It's not.

I was just going to say Ireland, but only because I know that from Suns of Anarchy, because there's been a whole season there. That's shit. The fucking more. Season three. Is that a good show? Fantastic.

So every time we do like TV show of the year, people always tell us to watch. Great show. Suns of Anarchy. I watch the pilot. I just couldn't get into it. It's fantastic. Really? That's the show that I keep hearing about enough times that I know now I'm eventually going tell us to watch. Great show. Sounds of energy. I watched the pilot. I just couldn't get into it. It's fantastic. Really? That's the show that I keep hearing about enough times

that I know now I'm eventually going to have to watch it. It's really good because enough people. I trust him. I don't trust you. I leave it at that. Watch it. Don't watch it. I don't care.

What is the best show on TV? I don't know. Really? On TV? I mean, what's breaking about TV? Game of Thrones? Yeah, probably. You know, they put off 15 minutes of Game of Thrones today. Yeah, yeah, probably yeah, you know they put up

for a few minutes of Game of Thrones today. Yeah, I happen to catch on each wheel last night. I was looking channels and it was on it's it's all like teaser stuff for the new season. Having read the books now. I didn't understand well. They split the third book into the season we just watched of Game of Thrones is the first half of book three with some intermingling a little bit a little bit of intermingling and I didn't figure out why they would have done that why they cut that book in half until I wrote the second half of the book totally make sense yeah yeah that is a packed book yeah so it means that this coming season should be very action packed it should be great very story driven it should be great we're not gonna do a spoilers

nowhere when is it coming back April 7th I think yep April 6th I'm like that you're up I got a new fire pit in my backyard looking forward to yeah I I signed up for gigabit internet yesterday where was who AT&T no I don't have it yeah I just signed up yesterday it'll install next week so yeah I'm really curious to see how this goes. So they're rolling it out. It's only gonna be 300 megabits at first. And then they say later in the year, they'll bump it up to a gigabit.

So they're gonna be, So they're telling you 300 megabits. There's gonna be three different service providers offering gigabit internet in Austin this year. None of them are time-water though, are they? None of them are time-water. I'm getting off time-water. It's AT&T, Grande, and Google Fiber.

Well, I'll be rolling out gigabyte I kind of just want Google fiber because it's new Yeah, I figured are you guys because you guys live really close to each other. Yeah, you guys live a couple blocks away are You guys in the pathway for Google fiber and the initial roll out they haven't said it goes up the street next to mine And doesn't come near me So what's funny is you know where you live you live like two blocks away from me. Yeah, the AT&T service I signed up for is not available at your address. I checked you could not get it. Damn it. I'm just gonna plug in a bunch of Airpods like feed off yours.

The machine network on the way. So yeah, I'm getting it installed next Tuesday. I'm really really curious to see how I really think about your Street. Hey, I think by the time you daisy change it to your house it'd be like one kilobyte with it yeah yeah all the until come you guys like not going on that street the fuck it spiders spider spider piss not going back they're good I need to do something to upgrade do this another project in my house I finally have I have a house I should say finally have a house, but I now have a house for the first time in my life where you can get under the house. I never had a house like that before where like the house is raised and on what they call Peer and Meam. Well every up until this point in

my life I've always lived in slab house and beam. Peer and me. And so now if I want to run cabling through my house my house is an older house So it doesn't have like ethernet run through the whole thing which in the age of wireless somebody really gives a shit about But I do because I want my Xbox one and my ps4 to have It's always faster and my way you always fast. Come on even with it. It's always faster. Yeah, I always put speeds on wireless Wireless is a bottleneck right? I used to have my 360 right next to my wireless device. Yeah. And it was always much slower than just plugging the fucking ethernet cable in place. Always. Yeah, doing a speed test for me with my MacBook Air over Wi-Fi is more than less half the speed. More than less half the speed. It is more than less half the speed. I actually just. Actually just rock float a lava does rocks float a lava.

It's more than less half to speed. You're getting more than less than half. More than less than half. It's hard to say 70 words language is going with you stuff. We sent a lot of words today. Yeah, a long day. A long day. We did. I just realized the same thing at my new apartment.

I say new apartment. I'll be there almost a year. but at the last apartment I was in is in the same complex, but it's different unit my internet was Like the connection was further away from the TV was it was like on the opposite side of the room But in my new apartment the internet is right where my entertainment center is so It's seriously so like I had everything on the Wi-Fi on the old at the old place and then I had all the same shit I just moved it all to the new place It's seriously dawned on me like a week ago. I'm like Why the fuck don't I have these plugged in? They're like two feet apart from each other I have no ethernet cables really for a fucking year

In a while you still the year I got knocked off my Xbox one I'll get knocked up But like my Xbox one my laptop and my like my PlayStation my 360 Any you're the one who finally commits me to start Plugging it in so I used to bitch about how slow download doors like there's no way my internet sad slow is it plug in Absolutely right. I have a given fact for everyone understands that why aren't as fast to the wifi? Yeah, I always figured that the bottleneck was my internet connection You know a Wi-Fi connection should be also sustained 15 megabits

Do you have any devices that use the new standard of Wi-Fi? Uh, there was stuff I have is and I don't have any AC stuff. It's AC's new one And it's not gigabit Wi-Fi. What is it like? What's I don't remember? I think this gigabit coming There's so many new ones. Is there one pass and at this point? Yeah, AC. It's the new one The thing we just told you that like five seconds ago. Yeah These are one pass and at this point. Yeah, AC. It's the new one. The thing we just told you about, like, five seconds ago.

Yeah. Oh, more than less than half the pot. Half and. So what were you saying? You're saying you can finally run these cables? Do you hear a beat house? Oh, I want to run around. So like the hard-wire cables under the house and like drill them up into the places and

I know that game. Yeah. So I just show you get onto my house and do it. I just got to do it. Fish tape. What? Fish tape. I've looked under there about a hundred times.

I got to drill a hole on the floor and go through. Just get a friendly neighborhood raccoon and run it through there for you. Do you have like pests under your house? I do. I have an armadillo. Right. How Texas is that? Is that a pest? That's what you would have when I moved into my house? So I live in a part of Austin. It's like it's a big park. It's like the region is called after a park.

And it was one of the only houses out there when it was just nothing but hunting land. And that house was, I think the governor's Hunting lodge and then they expanded it over the years like people added to it like the guys before me added like the whole back part of it that's on there and The house goes back like 1934 was when it was built which is I don't write me and tell me that your house is older I know there's a little older houses in parts of the world. I'm not older but it was like it was 1934 and the guy when I moved in, the real estate, he goes, yeah, this house was here in 34. And here's a picture.

Do you want to see a picture of the original house? Like I said, sure. So guy, fucking hands me this photo. And it's my house with nothing else around it. Okay. It's black and white photo, one of those square ones. It's like super thick. It looks like it was printed on silver plate.

And he hands me that thing. And it's that. It's black and white photo. And it's my house my house everything's perfectly normal except there's this fucking kid like this The kid looks like the most evil thing Focus were looking just kind of two of them And now he's pissing on Gavin's We're looking at you two of them to And now he's pissing on Gavin's

You're gonna get the water next yeah, I was like take this fucking photo back You should Put Teddy in your front yard and recreate it The real turn there's like in the year 2200 show this to whoever's buying the The same kid, he just stands in the front yard Do you know that? Google earth has when, when you're looking at the top down, I was looking at my town. I'd never used Googlers.

I looked at it one time and I couldn't figure the interface down, I just gave up. I was like 10 years ago. I only had fucking it because I was like, I was with you. I opened it because it was installed on my laptop. I was like, I don't know why I have this. I opened it to see what it's about.

Is it solid? Yeah. Well, I guess you can. OK. I have have it installed and there's a slider at the top now and I drug it back And it goes back in time through all the photos of that area. It's pretty cool Yeah, I could drag it back and see stuff disappearing from my town Oh, all the way back to it's flying guard it went all about to the 1930s just black and white at that point and there was a creepy kids Looking up what how do they have satellite views for 30s? I imagine a helicopter took a picture of something really not for Google what for Google? No, just to make a map

What you think you think no no no photos? The world of the first I think the Google just Google's just Google's sons Incorporated what's so hard to believe about that the Google's sons livery or live What a fucking helicopter is flying around the Haberdashary What did they invent the plane uh 1917 or 1907 but they and if they flew me no more one, but I don't know what was the helicopter I forgot to put the tail rotor

The strong I can't really... I can't really... I can't really... I can't really... I can't really... I can't really... I can't really... I can't really... I can't really... I can't really... I can't really... I can't really... I can't really...

I can't really... I can't really... I can't really... I can't really... I can't really... I can't really... I can't really... I can't really...

I can't really... I can't really... I can't really... I can't really... I can't really... I can't really... I It's cool. I'm with you. Yeah, I'm with you unique No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the main site and it's like you go back to the old one and then we go back to the old drunk gamer stuff like see all that old stuff. But every time I go to look at anything on there it's so fucking brutally slow. It's so slow. It's almost like they like this is how bad it was back then. Like they it's like we're literally sending your data back 15 years to old city internet. I like the way of planning about the company that's a tie of the entire internet. It's a really cool service. No listen I I, and you can also like they have that timeline.

We can just like say, okay, here's our next copy of the site. Yeah, two weeks later, they're taken from a haboly. For a second, I was like, why would they do that? I was really confused. Here, let me read this thing. I got some more I want to say about archiving that, that you made me think about. I want to remind everyone this episode of Rischeef podcast is brought to you by Pro Flowers.

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Go to proflowers.com, click on the blue microphone in the top right corner and type in teeth. That's proflowers.com. You have to click on the microphone to see the special deal and type promo code teeth. That's T E T H. Valentine's Day is just around the corner so you may as well go ahead and get it done right now while you're thinking about it because you're going to forget. Did you write that copy or did they? They did by and bell is to like I mean like the bit about like even if they say they don't want flowers. They do oh No, that's it. No, no, that's they're they're very smart people. Yeah over there You said you yeah Well, we had a we had a conversation with Ashley this weekend, which was like what are we doing for Valentine's Day? And she's like, I don't know. I don't really feel like doing anything and I fucking bit

I'm so dumb I bit I beat I was like you don't want to do anything round. Let's say you just want to skip it this year She goes well, I don't want to skip it And I was like then it was like something my idea and I was like oh. Oh. And I was like, then it was like something like my idea. And I was like, no, no, no, I'm just, oh shit. So I'm in scramble mode. We're getting stuff done. Yeah, from Valentine's Day. From Valentine's Day.

Which is Thursday. So if you're in T, if I do it today, bam, delivery by Valentine's Day. Yes. You can absolutely still get it done. Go put that to the desk. There's time. Product testing.

You have time. So you were talking about archiving stuff. And maybe think about that Kickstarter for that video game documentary Outlanders, I think it's what it's called outlander. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, looks. I don't understand the name Yeah, why is but it's a project on Kickstarter the people do you want other people? I think that might be working on it is Kathleen Sanders Can you talk to me about it. I don't know what role she is, but she was definitely mentioning it to me. And if it's a cool project, it looks like a documentary,

I think it's going to be a six-part series, and it's going to be about just the video game culture. And specifically, there was a whole section that are people who are going through an archiving old video games that will be unplayable pretty soon. Right. I mean, you already see that's the case with a lot of PC games that were like tied to clock speeds back in the day. Flappy bird. Just went away.

So it's like, how do you play these things if you don't have the hard word to do it? And you know, with consoles, you'll see that as well too. As of right now, they're at, they're almost at $170,000 out of $210,000 gold. They got four days left. It seems like a really cool project. I hope they get funded. I hope it gets done. Not to sound like an old foggy, even though we are. They got four days left. It seems like a really cool project. I hope they get funded. I hope it gets done. Not to sound like an old foggy, even though we are. Is that there are games that I used to play.

That I just, there's no way I'm able to play them. They just didn't archive them. Or, you know, if there was an arcade game that had a very specific control scheme, there's no way that I can play that game, the way that it was done in the past. Just because the game is gone, and even though they save the ROM. Even through emulation, it's not the same.

No, no, no. There was a game called John L.A.s Team quarterback They used to play all the what's wrong with you fucking guys? What are you laughing about? I don't like right? That's a fucking institution of it. Oh, how good is that game gonna be? What do you mean? Let me tell me tell me tell me tell me some I'm playing it then they can make it again now here's what here's what made it unique It was a football game American football NFL good iron Great iron and so when team quarterback

you get a one dude who played the half-back character or you could like switch to other people mainly played the half-back. Then you play the quarterback. They've got to play the quarterback and you can play two people against each other. The thing that made it really unique was that when you were the quarterback you had a joystick and then you had a second joystick which was spring loaded that you pulled back. And then you could once you pulled it back You could then like put this arrow on the screen and like put it wherever you want it and let go So you'd actually physically lead receivers. It was actually the best passing system

I have ever seen in a video game and they just can't recreate it anything like madden They try a lot of stuff, but you're really just going okay that guys open all had B and I'll throw it to the guy who's at B And that's basically the way it works. This you could actually put it ahead. Even if the dude was in comfort, you could lead the guy. If you were a great quarterback, you lead the guy and just nail it and it was a- It was a how accurate it was this thing. Like how accurately did it transfer into the game?

I thought it was great. Once I mean, I was like any game, if my memory of it is probably better than it was in real life, but once you got good at it and the mechanic, yeah, you could lead people spot on and say like, the your guy would head to it and catch I mean we would end up beating the computer like 178 great game. Yeah, well, you know, it's what yeah And in that in that Kickstarter video for Outlander, they showed that one arcade game

I'd never seen it before called iRobot Who was like the first Game that ever had fully filled polygons on the screen and they tell a story about how most of those games in getting shipped to the United States were sunk in a boat. Yeah. In the Pacific. Yeah, there's a lot of the ocean. It's like more than half of those arcade games never made to the United States because they sank to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean in a shipwreck.

This fish have a great time down there. They're like, if only we had electricity. There's a weird trite spot that it comes in my house. I feel like they should make a Pixar movie of Mermaids and crap playing arcade games at the bottom of the ocean. Yeah, you can hear the movie Mermaids and crap. Mermaids and crap like games. It's like the merging of wreck at Ralph and little mermaid. Oh yeah.

Summer, the adventure you've been waiting for, Mermaids and crap. Dad, I just want to play games, you don't understand. Shut the fuck up, you're Mermaid crap. I can't even see by the people living in games. I just want to play games you understand Shut the fuck up, do your mermaid crap I can't even see my little people in the games So the dad, the uh, I just wanted like say it so I stopped getting tweets about it The guy took down Flappy Bird didn't he? Cause he couldn't handle it Why does that even mean? You only got tweets about it because Jack posted her scores up

And that was that was a run of people just posting their scores Yeah and let me put this out there as well. There's a lot of stuff I don't care about and that's one of them I if you send me a screenshot of your flappy bird school brilliant. Why were you crying all the time? What you were like? You're crying over that one spot your floor Concerately so flappy bird to do took it down is a Vietnamese Developer and he said he took it down because the game ruined his simple life. Oh, yeah.

He said it was a very successful game. The press was overstating the success of the game. They put an article out saying that his game was getting $50,000 a day in ad revenue. Which is a really cool story, but having played that game a lot, the bigger story there is apparently Clash of Clans has $50,000 a day to spend on advertising. They have TV commercials.

Dude, that is the only thing I ever saw advertise out there. There was Clash of Clans and some... I saw like a slot machine game. A slot machine game, I saw a lot. So apparently those two people have a 25K a day budget for advertising, but they spend entirely on Flapping Merge. We think about it. If this guy's like,

this guy's a big star of Vietnam, I believe, it's like, if you was earning $50,000 a day, you probably don't need a ton of money to be a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is a guy who is though he probably is not making anywhere near $50,000 a day. Probably is not. So somebody probably did some mathematics that don't translate. A lot of people think that if you do X amount of whatever, impressions or inventory on something, that they just equate that to money, but not everything, not all inventory is monetizable, as they say. This gets really boring to business stuff, but like if we get, for instance, a Rishie X amount of views on a video only thanks to the Yawninger, the business. Only a certain percentage of those views

are actually monetized or monetizable. It's just the way it works. You know, I mean, there's how many people play in flypeybirds according to my leaderboard. There's like six million or something. Yeah, 36 million people leaderboard. So is that on average, what, 100 million to 200 million

Games a day He's probably not selling 200 million impressions a day probably isn't you know He's probably got somebody like classical and he feels that is basic inventory. Mm-hmm with stuff and then tax Thanks, Kevin. Thanks, Kevin. I Will say this so this guy I I'm skeptical as I tend to be of things on the internet I'm play fly bird right now by the way. I'll play with his now play flyby bird You want to yell at me for playing dude who jump on the podcast. Yeah, well you're you on me

So not only is flappy bird still running ads Even though he took down the game. It's still running ads. I have a new ad today up there So while he is like saying oh, I want to go back to my simple life and this game has ruined me and they're overestimating my success, he took the game down and response that, but he is still running ads on the install base of 60 million copies of Flatton.

Yeah, wherever he is. He has his user base, and that's just raking it. That he hasn't turned off. That would be a little bit more of a drastic move. And I mean, I don't know what his contracts are with some of the ad salespeople, or thank congratulations dude. And I mean, I don't know what his contracts are with some of the four ad sales people. I'm thankful. Congratulations, dude.

Let me see. What ad did you get? They came up. I didn't see. Class of mind. I got pro flowers. Use the co-teeth. Weak. No.

Yeah, clash of clans again. So, yeah, so the ads are still running on it. So I mean, I don't know how much of an actual commitment is. Kyle, I think that TV's off. I don't know if you can like hit the power button on it. Do you think it's moly? Just moly? Do you think it's more just due to embarrassment. It's a terrible game. I don't think it's a terrible game. It's a terrible game. It's

really good. It's a poorly made game. You're so wrong. He hits the pipe. He falls through it. What's his setup? What do you want him to do? Like bounce off it or something? It's entertaining. It's just like put straight down. It's a crazy. It's a lazy lazy game. I don't use this Mario pie. And he hopes he burns in hell. Hey, well, he saw that he should drew the pipes. He might look like Mario. Mario pipes, but he didn't like lift him from Mario. I think someone did a like a pixel analysis on it and show that it wasn't the exact same uh uh sprite. They changed the pipes. changed the pipes the game is the game is is this life he also wasn't he lifeline flappy bird oh he's gonna get ten life so through

the pipe so what he's in front of it the pipes behind him so why do you hit it because either what that one's in front the one on top is closer no it's just so please I actually I may have received one or 200 billion tweets about Flappy Bird to play it. Oh, right. Sorry about that. I've never played it. It's a good game. I saw.

I saw. I saw E.B.A. Oxygen's the grain. Because you know, since you got pulled, I saw E.B.A. Oxygen's for phones, for iPhones, I have Flappy Bird installed for ridiculous amounts of money. Yeah, I'd be like Gavin when we play on your phone. So people are buying the phones because they have, I mean, you can still download it. And listen, one point out too, we're also aware of other things like iron pants and all that that people want us to play in addition. We're well aware of that. We like I like Flappy Bird. And I'm

not now says I'm one of the rare people one of only 60 million who have this game installed that can now. I'm so what was the one percent now? How did Flappy Bird blow up? Because this game came out last September. And it's only the last. the way, September's not that long ago. Yeah, but it's only gone big in the past week or two. It just takes things to catch on, you know, a little bit. I think, I think, P.D. Pied did a video on it. Remember that crackdown video? Yeah.

Six months later. Bam! 200,000 views, and then Michael's working a rage quit. They're 14 years old. Yeah, we're gonna Rishief, make rage quit, then fast forward what what two years after that 250 million views cost all the rage quits. That's a quarter of a billion views across the show that he makes See there you go good

Good job. Thank you fucking badass look celebration Hey, I'm over speaking of amazing milestones. I will had it's 200 episodes today Jack had the very good idea to To get celebrities like he put out there get celebrities to do the intro. Yep, and we got some amazing celebrities I was actually impressed usually it's you know some video game voice actor or something These were like actually guys wow, what an asshole. Yeah voice of lappie bird. Yeah bloody Gary Seneis Keenan Thompson Love Bob, but no all the Keenan Thompson to be fair. It was

Hi, I'm Keenan. You're watching allu 200 I know I think we should actually cool that they achieve it on the leakly update Why not? They started 200 one will change it to allu who gives it shit If you're in Thompson's gonna endorse it. Why not? It's why we call it 201 called 200 L. Well listen, I mean, it's a huge achievement 200 episodes of that show that I made 200

weeks in a row. Yeah, what a plus and a milestone. What's wrong with you? Will you all bitter? Well, you, we made a huge celebration for the 200 ponies. Yeah, I'm just kidding. We also received seven million subscribers. Hey, hey. May channel hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey You fucking jaded bitch Yeah, but what's your 10 million it's all about 20 Gavin at one point nobody's gonna celebrate 37 million subscribers

Oh, yeah, it's so fucking ridiculous. You're gonna celebrate for me. How many views is your water balloon video? Every other day, you tell me to the fucking 10th at one point like when Like early on when I met him we were having this conversation I don't remember how we got there, but we're talking about a YouTube video You're gonna say something and you're gonna make it sound like I'm an asshole. I'm just gonna say what you said and I don't remember exactly how the conversation went, but it was like how many views I have and I was like I don't know whatever It's like if you're not gonna get 20,000 views

Why even bother making it and I'm like that's the. So like every time a video gets up, God, I'm like, how many of you is this? I have like 22,000 in. He's like, it's good. It's good. Okay, fair enough. It's clear, it's clear that mark. I haven't even been checking Twitter. You've been checking Twitter? Yeah, I'm going to be on the phone today.

Sorry. Yeah, no, I'm watching it. I'm watching it. It's all. It's all here. You got to actually play the original conqueror's bad for day. Yeah, I remember that's the last game.

Conqueror's bad for day. That was the last that's the last game. Conquer's bad for day. That was the last game I got carded for to make sure I was old enough to buy it. That game in the UK was an 18. Here it was a 17. And I think at the time I was like 23. I'd never seen an Nintendo 64 cartridge with an 18 on it. Usually it was like PlayStation games would have 18,

but never an Nintendo. Conquer's bad for me. Why was it, what was, I never played it. What was so bad about it? It's fucking, I was filthy. There's like titties and he's just like cursing and shit There's shit. There's like the fuck there's feces crap. It's fucking fantastic. Really it's a great game I was never like a movie that's also fantastic It had some great

I remember I could have that one multiplayer mode that was like like a like D day Where's that get to storm the beach and the teddy bears had the guns up on the multiplayer stuff was that was added on Xbox right? I don't know if that was on the original on 64 right Because they came out with it and called it conquer reloaded and that had Xbox live I should think that the multiplayer in the Xbox version But which was weird because it was filthy as fuck and like it was like really shocking for an Nintendo 64 game For like an Nintendo game when they made it for the Xbox, they actually toned it down. Like they took some of the vulgarness out of it. I mean, it's still, you know, like 95% the same.

What was the thing? A few things they turned, they like tuned down a bit, which I thought was crazy. And so that was a game developed by Rare, right? Yeah. Which eventually got bought by Microsoft. Yeah. And it was like a first party Microsoft studio. What was the game you were talking about that had like an island, like a day?

It's Banjo 2. And there's one full plan now. Yeah. And they took that out. Yeah. It's in the N64 version. There's a level in Banjo 2. talking about that had like an island like a d levels like a dinosaur level and from the overhead view you can see there's like I think it's like water or something but there's a shape of land in the water it's a shape of a dick and balls and there's like little pebbles like coming out like of the dick and they took it out when they released it on Xbox

I've got to get away with a lot more stuff in video games back then I guess there's conquers parents won't Yeah, that's just our screen they can't see it yet lost telling yet. Okay. I was it was a fun game It was definitely different like you said I've never seen an Nintendo game like that. There's like Early on in the game. there's a part where like, uh, there's this sunflower, who's like a, like a female sunflower. And I think she's like, she's like, she's like huge tits and her leafs are like covering herself. And you have to like, she's like, leaves, leaves. Sorry. You have to go around and get like a bunch of bees to come over and like try to pollinate. And she'll, she bunch of bees to come over and like try to pollinate and

She'll she'll open her her leaves and like try to swap them away And then you bounce off her tits like a trampoline to get to another part like that's part of the puzzle solving in the game That was a game on the Sega rests realistic I'm Sega Mega Drive where you are a little wizard and you have to fight some flower, but I can't remember the name of it What was it? And what? On this Sega. Sega Dreamcast or what's Sega?

Mega Drive. Sega Mega Drive? What the fuck is that? Is that the Genesis? I think that's what they call the Genesis. Yeah, and you thought some You were like a little wizard and there was another one that followed you and you'd have to like chuck stuff into a cauldron and then a BASTED sunflower would come at the end. And the moon would be like

It was It was dope. How was the moon? It would just be like a normal moon with a face.. And the moon would be like How was the moon? It would just be like a normal moon with a face. I guess the moon doesn't have a face It's a face and then sometimes the moon would just open its eyes and like It was something about little tiny wizards someone might Yeah, by the way, I could get confirmation multiplayer modes were in the N64 version Yeah, it was on the N64 it was World War 2 themed and on the Xbox it was future things It only seemed like you're trying too hard to me. I mean all those games that go for like the vulgar thing They always just seem like they're just to try hard. It's basically even like the laser shoot Larry series It's a piece of shit though, but this game legitimately was fun. I enjoyed it.

All those games are you know, oh by the way I was kind of talking about how I didn't connect with broken age on the patch. I said broken eggs broken age. The Tim Schafer game I finished it and it's definitely very good and I did I wasn't I hadn't stuck with the game long enough. I gave my early impression of it and I didn't like it and I really like it having finished it. Have you played it yet? No I I want to I need to I was out hadn't stuck with the game long enough I gave my early impression of it I didn't like it. I really like it having finished it. Have you played it yet? No, I I want to I need to I was out last week And I need to catch up. I've been played the wolf among us episode two yet. I have neither I'm trying to finish up AC4 right now once I finish AC4 I'm gonna go do wolf among us then after that

I may do broken age. I'm moving over. I'm gonna finish a Tomb Raider I'm gonna move over to Xbox one for two minutes so good So what the fucking Microsoft the story of Microsoft today. Yeah, we're the investors have asked Microsoft to abandon being Surface all surface products and Xbox. They wanted to spin it off basically. They want them out of the hardware and search business. Yeah, or they want to be out of the consumer facing business They want to be an enterprise only company. They want them to be like an IBM or an Oracle.

Right. Yeah. What's the game from that coming out of the public eye? You want to spin them out. You know, listen, we talked about it before. Those divisions of Microsoft make so much freaking money. I think their sense of Microsoft's end of time of transition with CEO Swip, you know, swapping out.

I think shareholders are trying to see how much influence they can exert in a time of transition. Can you say a question? Do you think the Xbox would survive if it was spun off from Microsoft? Today, now I think so. I think it could on its own. You think today? Yeah, okay.

I think, you know, they've had, they have enough brand recognition and they have enough history and enough of an installed user base. Yeah. I think they could make a go of it right now But I don't think it's a good idea consoles are a they are a big brand game. I mean even Nintendo's having trouble even Nintendo's talking about mergers and acquisitions

It's part of a strategy for continued existence. You don't count game going out that's pretty soon Yeah, I still feel like they're not making the games that I want to play What we what are you waiting for? Like, you were talking, I was saying like, what's the newest equivalent of Mario 64? And you were saying Mario 3D, like... Mario World. There's a Mario World on Wii U that's out right now. You can put on a fucking cat suit and run around. Solid response in the movie?

Yeah. Is it like 3D and stuff? It's like, I was talking to you a little bit about it. It's a hybrid of the 2D and the 3D Nintendo 64, which doesn't want you really like a lot. It's like a mixture between the two. Mario 64 is just such a good game. You could go everyone, you could jump into any painting, and great transition.

Did you, you must have like Mario Sunshine then. I don't know if you like it. It was good. It's the same basic deal. I like Mario 64 better, but sunshine was also really good. What's up? Mara's super marial Galaxy even though you said get anything even though you said the mega drive Someone on Twitter's asking if you were talking about Majora's mask

Are you? No, he just mentioned the moon which is I was gonna make a stupid joke about it because there's the moon in Majora's Mass, but clearly you weren't talking about fucking Zelda. Someone said was it Wiz and Liz? It was Wiz and Liz! Thank you. It's Tom DeBerk. No, it's good. Wiz and Liam DeBerk. You're not Wiz and Liz. It's the moon with the face. Plus of ours. Watch and Liz. And the sunflower. And the sunflower. I've never heard of that game. I can tell that you came in a UK only game. Oh really? Yeah, it was scary That sunflower was a nasty busted and he would like bounce around

I've never heard a sunflower like describes being so villainous He was a nasty bastard. I'm like a UK educational game. What is he live equipment of a Born in trail It was like Liz and Wiz. Oh, Jesus my phone's on your phone's really loud I thought that was like an actual bell. Yeah, I thought someone was over the head. I had my hand over my eyes for a second That was a text from the ultra-talented Mr. Monty Ome and he says Phones with flappy bird are going for $20,000 on eBay right now going for it. No, he's buying them. No, you got it It's all fake business. It's like that person I think the whole thing's a marketing move. I really do

I just lost it Bernie. Haven't you heard? No listen? I get it people fucking lose it people There's a lot of people who are not ready for the big swing the spotlight brings you know, I mean it's like it's crazy I'm ready bring it this way Bring it on guys. You're gonna take over flat over I'lly Bird? I'll take it over. I'll do it. I'm the new Flapy Bird guy. Flapy guys. We'll do Flapy Bird immersion. So he still makes games.

He hasn't given up on making games. Well, listen, if we do Flapy Bird immersion, though, you've got to make sure we go through the pipe. I know. I can't just be falling. It doesn't make any sense. I've Gavin won't do it. I wouldn't bounce off the pipe.

No, why me like, what if we actually go through the pipe like in the pipe? In the pipe. Well, that's the thing. And then come out through the bottom. We'll settle that. That does. How is that the thing that breaks the narrative for you in Flaping Bird? That's just crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. I totally believe him when Michael Lepetov and... It's a fucking phone game!

They're fucking pipes free standing in the universe. I mean, what are they doing there? Why are there pipes that are this far apart? Well, I'm saying, the game could the game could be as endless line of pipes. Oh my goodness. Strip way, all the graphics and stuff. You basically a bunch of sticks and a dot and that's what it is. And then he put a bird on it. He didn't add anything to it. It's so simple. Boy, what do you like about Doodle Jump? I mean, we've been talking about like Angry Birds. Angry Birds is a little dot and then some squares over here. You got to hit Yeah, you just try

But I'm not having all the dots the dots roll into debris and it will falls down and it's like gravity and stuff Why don't you like the game because of graphics? That's why I don't like the graphics exist That's basically what you're saying a graphics of fine. They just don't do anything what you're saying. The graphics are fine. They just don't do anything. Oh my god. It doesn't know what you see what I mean. It's just like you're saying. No, I don't. I understand what you're saying. I'm really giving shit. Why are you so specific about this? Why you hate the game because he falls to the pipe when he dies. That's why you're saying you hate the game. I want to be perfectly clear about that. I know aspect of playing the game. That's after you like the game play. Not annoying. I don't like anything about this game. What after you like the game play Not annoyed

I don't like anything about this game. What I think I like about it is that it is it reminds me of very early the podcast You and I are playing doodle jump constantly and then they updated doodle jump ruined it ruined it because they updated Yeah, they put in boss fights and like rocket packs ridiculous. Yeah, there were Platforms where you would land on one and then they would all move and it'd be like it'd be mental Yeah, I was enough just to try to keep going the bits way had to drag them That was like the hottest bit of original doodle jump I don't think I've launched doodle jump on my phone since we were still in the office on congress. Yeah I'm long gone from here. I just connect to version of doodle jump

Who the fuck would play that I think I saw our Kate version of that when we were in Australia Okay, our Kate doodle jump. Yeah, I don't get it Good game. Yeah, and then they updated now now Flappy Bird They actually started to update it like he literally updated the game the day before he took it off the market But not really with anything like the bird is blue sometimes now different called the pipe looks different It's also a night mode and improve frame rate. Yeah, and you were like waiting for the update With true pipe physics very bounce off of it. Yeah, because otherwise the fucking games just rubbish It's it's probably fine. It's a good game. It's really fun. I don't understand all the hate for it. I really don't it's hard

It's hard. It's challenging. It's it's like a gamers game. I think Jack has over a hundred No, no, no, I showed I showed that game to Esther like the night before they removed it from the from the app store and she was like playing nonstop just screaming at her phone like the lunatic that hell like frustrating it is. I think my high score so far is like 29. I'm not I suck at that game. Here's the problem with the game is that it doesn't matter how high your score is. When you get to your high score you get that panic. It's like you can feel it coming because it's just basically a game of streaks and you just gotta put together a

good streak because the thing with doodle jump is when you approach a high score you begin to shake and it affects the game because it's based on the tilt. So that means with flappy bird you get the shaky taps and it makes you jump twice. Yeah and then you always hit the top pipe and then fall past the other one Which is fucking bullshit. We all agree I get it. It's a dumb point I don't think it's a reason to say you hate the whole game is because of that Like I'm sure you have legitimate criticisms for it But to say you hate the game because

I mean, it's not 50 million downloads good No, I know we're talking 36 million. What is that what's the best iPhone game? Oh bad piggies. That's good. Never played baby. What is that is that it's like the battery bud spin off civilization revolution It's really good Jack just sent me a doctored photo of a score at 117 Fucking thanks Jack Shove it up your ass. Why don't, let me, I'm gonna read this. I'm gonna send it to you. I'm gonna send it to you. I'm gonna send it to you. I'm gonna send it to you.

I'm gonna send it to you. I'm gonna send it to you. I'm gonna send it to you. I'm gonna send it to you. I'm gonna send it to you. I'm gonna send it to you. I'm gonna send it to you. I'm gonna send it to you.

I'm gonna send it to you. I'm gonna send it to you. I'm gonna send it to you. I'm gonna send it to you. I'm gonna send it to you. I'm gonna send it to you. I'm gonna send it to you. I'm gonna send it to you.

I'm gonna send it to you. I'm gonna send it to you. I'm gonna send it to you. I'm gonna send it to you. I'm gonna send it to you. I'm gonna look it up on Game Center. Yeah, let me I'm gonna read this I'm like, you know, you can like send a friend request to somebody on Game Center and did you accept my friend request? Yeah, oh okay I went Because that was really fast you did that you might as well by text that fast You get alert for it here. No Jack Jack your high score in Game Center is 53 you're fucking full of shit You're fucking up. You're a known lion ever since Sunday Crystalline reputation on broadcast right now Jack Pettillo. Yeah, I'm trying to get to the point. We can open it

Everyone be class so we can have for the I want to go and open it up I want to remind you that this episode of the podcast is also brought to you by Sherry's berries Break that shit out Giant freshly dipped strawberries from Sherry's berries starting at 1999 Over 40% savings or double the berries for just $10 more Just use promo code teeth when you order. I hear the white chocolate ones. The white chocolate ones are the best They're dipped in white milk and dark chocolate goodness topped with chocolate chips decorative swizzle or nuts enormous romantic fresh juicy mouthwatering. I'm a little turned on

Romantic fresh juicy mouthwatering. I'm a little turned on Here's all we get some amazing Valentine's Day deal giant freshly dip straw berries starting at 1999 or double the berries for just $10 more Visit berries.com. That's B-E-R-R-I-E-S.com Click on the microphone in the top right corner and type in teeth go to berries.com click on the microphone and type in teeth Hurry offer ends on Thursday, which is fine because Valentine's Day is Friday so no no you don't need to this is something you just buy it and eat them You know I have done that I bought this at home just for the hell of it because it's so fucking good We got a new guy that works here. He's not new but he's like new to like I don't know if he's full-time or not best It's Aaron don't feel me eating it. So the whole thing and These showed up when you were out of town and Barbara convinced Aaron

It was totally okay to open the package and eat one and she did it solely so she could eat one She took a please she completely threw him under the bus and Then when I called her on it she goes I'm not gonna have one and she walked away Yeah, that's that why there was one missing. Yeah cuz Aaron. I saw there was one missing when you opened it. Yep There was a giant sign on it That said do not open do not eat these or you will die Well, meaning that Gus will kill you. Yeah, the product isn't anyway. No because we need dangerous for the podcast You know, we got to show off how great it is

It's I like when you were talking about them and like how delicious they were an amazing and right before Gavin takes a bite He's like in a microphone and then takes a bite I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna bring these These the people in the control room too. Oh Thank you wait till afterwards Delicious so Gavin you have like dude you're not an animal don't put the whole thing in your mouth Have it on the floor It's all falling out of his mouth and shit

It's fucking ridiculous. Did you try to eat it like in two bites? It's fine. They're so huge dude You cannot eat these in two bites I'm so good Gavin has like the I Don't even know how to describe it like the gaseous like gurgliest burps He's like like that's his burp It's just like bubbles come out of you. When you burp, do you feel like it burp from your throat? So I feel like that would explain it, right? Like I feel like when I burp, it comes from like the gut. Right, I don't like to burp very

long, so I rush them out. I've got a burp, and I just full-sout be like, yeah, but a lot of times you rush them out in the middle of a fucking sense Wait till you're done Oh, there's this cold weather I'm getting the The half of this is in the couch. I know I've been getting the cold weather gags recently I used to get in there. Yeah, and now fucking Lindsey gets a two she's like caught it from you She doesn't have time to she'll leave the fucking house We open the door to leave the house in the morning and she's like I gag she does it too with this cold with you? I gagged. He does it too.

With this cold weather, I now gag three times a day. You don't seem to leased his concern about your feelings. Oh, I'm furious. He's like, ugh. Fuck it in the wing. You've never done this before. Now we leave our apartment and you open the door. Let me tell you something.

Keep it the fuck away from Gus, because then she catches those thinkiest noises. I haven't had a stinkiest decent a long time. Really? I'm really a little concerned about it. Maybe they probably haven't had a scratch. She a long time. I'm really a little concerned about it. I probably haven't had a crush. You've played against me since like a year. Just against each curse every now and then. You gave it.

You gave it to other people, so now you don't have it. So now we'll have to meet like a pie or something. Why is this now because of the cause of the cold and I gag in the cold. I will gag. I gag every day three times. One brushing my teeth, one getting out of the shower, and one walking out in front of the door. Give me the schedule again.

What is it? Brush my teeth and then I get out of the shower and it's like, I'm not even the front door and it's the same. She does it too. Brush and her fucking teeth every morning. Like I actually wakes up. I'm living in my hair like, you know, getting out of bed going on the bathroom brushing her teeth.

And I'm like, fuck fucking eating the toothbrush. What are you doing? I'm like, I gotta brush my tongue. You good, sir? You gotta brush the tongue, keep the tongue clean. Don't eat the fucking tooth. How do I clean a tongue? You put the toothbrush on your tongue. You don't shove it down your fucking throat.

Your gag reflexes and on your tongue. If I stick my tongue out too far, I gag. So weird. I told you the story about when that woman the doctor was checking my tonsils and she was trying to push my tongue down to see them and I can't gag in and my tongue can't come up and I snap the stick that she was using to crush my tongue down. I really think you're gonna crush your tongue down. Like the strongest. She said I had the strongest tongue that she'd ever seen.

Oh yeah, that's like fucking come on. You know. She asked you to piss on her hand. Look at the others. I've pissed on that woman's watch. On her watch, not her hand. I get that story on her wrist. The point for that story is pissed on a woman I didn't know 10 minutes earlier. That's the important part of it. It was just a risk. It was just a gift a grand mother for graduating from nursing school I thought I'd piss on it. So today Patrick did something I'd never thought to do. Hey, we need nicknames because Patrick and Patrick

Patrick's dollars are we call him Patrick. Okay. You talking about Patrick. Okay. Patrick did something I'd never thought to do you know whenever we record the podcast here at night Since it's winter the heater doesn't work in here. We have these little space heaters just off camera that try to keep us warm. We try to create a little warm bubble here. He called a heater repairman to come out and fix the heater. I was like, I never thought to do that. I could take the big box. Yeah, the heater was broken. And in my mind, that was it. We had to suffer with the cold. We got to move. Yeah, it was like, well, we can't do anything now. We just get a new building. It's all the space here. Yeah, we literally have space heaters all around us. That's the, you said earlier, that was the equivalent of like, if you'll car broke,

you'd just say, oh, I got to walk to look now. Yeah. It's so stupid. And then you walk to work for six months until someone was like, getting a car on a gas, you're done with the car, throw it away. So, they took a part out. They're going to fix it and hopefully we'll have heat just in time for spring. Just in time for us to leave. Yeah. This is how long this has been a pretty harsh winter. They're spending pretty harsh winter. Like it's been very schizophrenic.

Um, they were it's been up and down. Or it's just been like 30 degrees one day and then 78 degrees the next day. It's crazy. Must be helpful. The roads. What? The Tomic. Oh, the roads. Yeah. I think the sense day, it's crazy. Must be hell for the roads. What? The Tomac. Oh, the roads.

I think the, since it gets so hot here, they build them to expand and contract with, with extreme temperatures. Whenever we have ice and it goes warm, we get massive potholes in England. Yeah, we don't have many potholes in Austin. That's something I really think about in Austin. Some are like West Campus sucks.

West Campus sucks. Your neighborhood's a little shitty. Yeah my neighborhood My neighborhood got some problems. Yeah, you live in like a older kind of Hipper part of Austin. We got the roads going. She's salad. I got some shine over there. What is that? Well, I mean does West campus and We were you guys lived and they not pay as much taxes so they just I don't know you guys don't bitch I think West campus must have a ton of They not pay as much taxes. So they just I don't know you guys don't bitch. I think West campus must have a ton of

Students driving and that they probably like no one cares because they're not voters here locally. Yeah They did they I mean I'm not gonna talk about this very long This is definitely just a local discussion. They realigned the city council districts recently to try to make the more accountable for Different parts of town. God Austin's got like the hottest issue going on right now for local politics They're redoing part of the jogging trail down by the lake and they have now made the determination since they're spending all the money redo it. They're going to ban dogs from that part of- That that pass I thought that didn't. Totally passed, dude. City Council did it. Oh, there's not a point people run- That's not very innovative. No, it's not. Where's our chief innovator when we need her. So that's like a huge hubbub.

Out of everything going on and awesome, that's the dog is not being allowed on the job. Ultimate first-world problems. I know, right. I don't have everything going on at all. And that's the dog is not being allowed on the job. Ultimate first-world problems. I know, right? I can't take my dog on the trail. It's because of the feces. I don't know. I don't know what the problem is. I think they just want.

I have so many problems with people walking their goddamn dogs down my street and not picking up their fucking shit in my front yard. They're pulling your lawn. Absolutely. I get so much dog shit. I feel like this. There's some where it's like, that looks like a person

just took a dump in my front yard. Whenever I see someone walking a dog past my front my front yard as soon as they leave I run out there and look to see if there's any shit Really would you actually chase me? I Yeah, but when you're when somebody's leaving shit on Gus's front lawn. I've just be pretty sure my dog is just dumped on your lawn Yeah, yeah, I was gonna say you got to watch out for people pissing on your fire I'm working away my dog's just dumps nice little nugget on your lawn. What do you do? Hey clean up your dog shit? That's what you did yeah Isn't him a I probably do it. That was intimidating. Yeah, it was serious clean up your dog shit. That was intimidating What would you say I'd like what the fuck?

Pick your fucking shit up dick. Hey. We're not in Jersey remember. Yeah, I don't give a fuck More effective here. It's in me. Yeah, somebody just buy somebody from Austin. She's trying It's like you want me to eat it and I'd be like I don't know do whatever As long as it's not in the yard Here yeah, you guys gonna walk through your dog. Yeah, I think you're not walking on out of here. Yeah, you guys go and walk through your dog. Yeah, curious. Is it elite? I assume it's illegal to fling shit to someone. But is it? Oh, it's so fling their own dog shit at them. Like if you've got a shovel, just wang it up their back. Would you get in trouble? Yes, probably. Yeah, I think. Yeah,

what do you mean? Yeah, what's your question? Would you get in trouble for flinging dog poo that is the person's? Yes, what pooed it? Oh, the dog. Yeah, throw think yeah, what do you get what your question? Would you get a trouble for flinging dog poo that is the person? Yes, what put it? Oh, the dog the dog yeah throw the dog shit at the owner I don't know if you can show over throwing shit at a dog that would be interesting throwing dog shit in the person Yeah, what is he trying to do? What if he tried and jam it back up the dog's ass? Is that illegal my physics? I'm putting this back where it came from hey you forgot something

Or shut up the owners ass. Oh Take it with you Really that's what did it a dog turn going up somebody's ass Bear okay, you're all over reacting who cares dog shit All the time remember this picking up with the plastic bags a new thing I'm sick of it I Should have to pick up other people I'm stepping in shit. I'm having to pick it up. I'm done with it as part of having a lawn Don't with it. No fuck that so I put like fucking turrets on my front lawn, okay?

Absolutely. I would like blow dogs up as they walked by Don't fucking shit my lawn. I let my fucking I let my cat out all the time He probably shit to people's yards all I sent my neighborhood as a like a neighborhood email list serve I I got so sick of cats shitting in my front yard for a while, that I sent an email to the neighborhood listserv saying that cats shouldn't be allowed outside and lists their own a leaf like a dog.

So I'm gonna think she'll let it take. And no one replied. I was hoping someone would reply calling me a lunatic, but like everyone just looks like, that guy's obviously crazy. Don't ignore it. Just ignore it. Don't engage.

Don't engage, I mean, you would do the same thing, right? Yeah. So when you go to the post office, the one person comes in going, starts yelling everybody turns to the rest of the line for support, you're like, I'm not helping this guy. That's happening to me so many times. And like, not the post office, but like fast food places. So he had a wedding once.

He's also a good place. He's having me at a wedding once. He was like fucking World War III. And the woman's like, right? And every one of the boners like, I'm so proud of him. I'm like, everybody's looking at the floor. And this is like, the billbird. Holy shit. I don't want to be great food know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't tell that story recently from recently? I don't think so. Do you want to? I don't remember the full details of it honestly. I told it is a story I told forever ago like on my own YouTube channel like three three four years ago Wait, what story you told about it was a work story. I was a Wendy's why what are you talking about this? That's the thing that happened really recently with a dude who lives right next to you

Oh, no, I didn't even go into that. I wasn't gonna tell that cuz I don't want to get murdered. Yeah, Guys gonna murder me who lives right next to me. Okay, I'll deal with crazy names. Does it know where you are? Does you know about the podcast? I have no idea what you know is this man does not know You should tell the story of mental it was fucking weird. We have to hear it. All right Story of mental it was fucking weird. We have to hear it. All right My vice you is you got a crazy neighbor. You just wait that shit out. Yeah, we don't need the story We got other stories. I was gonna wait till I until I moved but all right fine I'm dead man if I can murder dead man. I think I could take this guy to be a great New own apartment Lindsey locked you out so you're safe. Okay, well to be fair

I didn't try kicking the door down or anything but okay back I was shot gun so Gavin was actually coming over this night. Is this like a week or two ago or something? And he's on his way over. We're like, I think we're playing Mario Party that night. Fucking sweet and getting in that. And it's a bullshit game. It's awesome.

No, it's a fucking lottery. It's a two hour lottery. No, you're fucking crazy. You play the game for two fucking hours and then game decides who we want to win. Except I win every single time. So clearly it makes it. He gets to hit and start or you play with the guy who gets a fucking hidden star and then fucking dominates He gets like 30 stars me right anyway, we had teams. Well, no, no fucking. I want to hear the story You

Gavin supposed to be coming over to play I hear knock at the door. I'm like that's Gavin. You should be here So I see some dude standing there that I don't know right? I'm like all right so I open the door and he's like oh hey living in this apartment like down the hall whatever I'm like okay and he's like freaking out like shagging his hands and shit he's like oh there's somebody in my apartment there's like guys in my apartment I'm like what anyway what the hell's going on and he's like oh can you call the police there's people in my apartment and they have gasoline and I'm like okay I don't know the fuck this guy is whatever hang on so I go inside I get my phone I come out and I'm like I'm not gonna don't know the fuck this guy is whatever. Hang on. So I go inside and get my phone I come out and I'm like, I'm not gonna do shit

But you can call him if you want to. Here you go because he's like, I don't want to go back into my apartment. It's not safe So I'm like, yeah, sure, here's my phone. I'm lock it. I give him the phone. He calls 911, right? And he's like, oh, police, I need the police. You asked for police or fire first and I'm just standing there and Lindsay's like behind me She's like, what's going on? I'm like, stay inside the house because this guy is like kind of weird and So he gets the operator and he's talking to him and he's like Normal enough. We're like that's shaking a little bit But it just seems like shaking up, but he's you know talking normal enough like oh, yeah This guy's in my apartment and I didn't hear the exact conversation from the operator

But you know, it's a long lines of like what are they doing and he was like Well, there's like five or six of them and they just throwing my couch and I'm pretty sure they're trying to build a spaceship And I'm like off Fuck me and I'm standing there. I'm just like oh I'm flying now and then my first thing was like all right He's wearing short shorts and he doesn't have like a knife for guns I'm not gonna get murdered. Like he didn't have any weapon on him.

Literally that was my first thought. And then he sized him up. He's talking to the operator and he was like, they were like, you know, describing whatever and he's like, oh, there's a couple guys blah blah and he's like, and one of them, he's got no body and she's and and and and they're like, and he's like, no, no, no, he's got a head, he has no body. And then I'm like standing there and he goes, yeah, I thought it was pretty weird too.

And I'm like, oh, fuck me, dude. So we live right near the police station and the fire department. So within a minute or two, the guy still on the phone or whatever, we're in the minute to the fire truck. I see the light show up and I'm like, thank fucking Christ. Like, I was over there going yeah chloro for me. Yeah What do you use it man? So he goes down?

He's talking to like the fireman and like he goes up the stairs and I get my phone back and like four of them Go with him and I grab like the one guy and I'm like, you know Oh, so this guy is fucking crazy and I'm like I just giving you guys a heads up like he was talking about people not having Bodies and the guys like yeah yeah we heard that over the radio and so like it's just like five or six firemen now standing in the corridor of my apartment complex and this guy standing outside and so girl all night with gasoline and everything and this is when Gavin shows up and he's like what the fuck's going on I'm gonna turn it on now I'm just like shut the door and then eventually the the firemen left and then there was like a bunch of cops there and I'm

just like all right bye and then we left because Iman left and then there was like a bunch of cops there and I'm just like All right, bye and then we left because I think we went to dinner first or something and we left and it was like all said and done by a time I got back, but I'm like great So I'm gonna get murdered in the next like week or two. I was thinking about what I live in England How far I would have to search to find someone as crazy as that my co-it's just like across the corridor and down the hall and down the hole Listen so guy if you're listening though listen hey Remember I did open the door for you don't murder me. He also said to you He's like I'm not doing like five doors and you're the only one that answered

Did you ever tell him though that you have plans for a spaceship? I didn't want something You have a space in defense gun I was like this guy's fucking crazy. It's like all right play it cool and he's like talking to me I'm like dude, you know what I mean? It's like fucking nobody Those guys are no bodies they suck fucking stupid drabroney Yeah, so I think the fact that you have to do that sometimes you have to decide with a lunatic very temporary It was like really we want to do is like stay alive. All you wanted to do was grab your phone and slam the door I can imagine yeah, I just want to leave but you know

You gotta think about it. No, no, I mean it's like you got a car blanch at that point You know the guy is in your house and he is we wasn't in my house. I never let him in oh I went out I went out my wall. Oh, no, no best fuck out of you best Twitter response from I don't know friggin MacGyver the guy's totally crazy. No, you can power a spaceship with gasoline I'm not the law, I'm not the law, I'm not the law. Best fuck outta you. Best Twitter response from, I don't know, friggin McIver. The guy's totally crazy. No way you can power a spaceship with gasoline. No body, I can run it. I had a similar thing where I used to live

in a part of Complex off of Riverside, which is a really nice part of real estate in Austin, but it's not nice. It's always gonna be like, it was always the same area of Austin that was gonna be built up next. They're just now getting around to redoing some of the condos. So it was like, very cheap rent there. Like Matt and I had a place there.

I think we paid 600 a month for a two-better apartment. Fuck. Yeah, it was pretty good. It was pretty good. But one time I was coming back from work where we and I used to work. And I was going to my apartment and I see this guy in this girl having a really heated discussion. And I was like, God, that sucks for them. And then I see he's got one of his hands on her holding her arm. Like if the bicep holding her upper arm while he's

talking to her. And then he starts doing this like pointing like right there on her face. I'm going up my stairs. And I'm going halfway to my door and I'm like, ah, fuck. So I go back down and I walk up and I go, is there a problem here? I go, what's going on? You know, fucking white night, I show up. And then the guy doesn't speak any English. And he's like, trying to tell me something like this. And I'm like, yeah, I don't know what's going on,

but I don't think you guys should be talking like this out here, you know, I don't think you should be talking to her like that. I don't know if you understand me. And she's like, yeah, she gets behind me. And I was like, oh, God. I was like, oh, it gets worse. It's worse. I go, I go, I go.

Yeah, I said, listen, I said, I said, I don't know what the situation is here. I don't understand what he's saying or anything like that. And he's saying, like he said, Quanto a couple of times, he said, Daenero and stuff like that. I go, he keeps saying Daenero. But he keeps saying money to me.

And she goes to me, she goes, okay, fine, yes. I have sex with people for money. And I was like, fuck you, what? And I just walked in the middle of, literally in the middle of. I literally walked into the middle of the scenario between a professional woman and her John that apparently she had stiffed out of money and all this.

And I'm like, I voluntarily walked into this fucking situation. Then I'm like okay, you guys sound like you just need to work this out. Maybe you call a cop or something like that and she goes she goes I'm gonna come with you just take me somewhere in your car and go okay that's an idea. I'm not taking you anywhere in my car. I said but you can come and you can use my phone if you need to call somebody, if you need to call

specifically a cop, you can use my phone to call a cop. That's what I'm willing to do right here. And she was like, I don't wanna talk to any cops, and I'm like, okay, I'm getting out of the way now. And I just walked away, nice. It's one of those situations where I gave her ample opportunity to get out of the situation. You want like a trap door to open

and you don't care what's under it. You want your ejector seat, and you end up of this situation. You want you want like a trap door to open and you don't care What's under it? You want your ejector seat where you get and you end up in a field. Yeah, you go Little sky hook. That was total when she said that I was like oh fucking a yeah, so I like interrupted a Heated transaction between a professional woman and her client. So that was now one of my proud of moments Yeah, I used to live in that part of town too I lived in one of those giant apartment complexes that Like you said, it was like 600 bucks for a two bedroom. And the thing was, every year, one building would burn down. Shit.

It was like a giant apartment complex with like 24 buildings. And it's like, it's like a only a 4% chance. Am I building some of you the one that burns this year? So I think I'm pretty good. Yeah. It was an apartment in Austin where three people died in the last two months. Oh, right. You remember you see that?

Yeah. Actually, two of them were related to each other because they both died. They shot each other with the same gun. What? And then died. And then it turned out, oh, the previous tenant had just died from a violent death as well. So they didn't take that. I just thought, that's what I took away from that article that two people died because

they both shot each other with the same gun. That struck me as a weird scenario. It could have been a struggle Where you're like fighting with the gun one person gets shot pulls the gun away and never happen Obviously, it just did Like the gun in the middle and they're like yeah guns can go off twice by it's didn't come Well, they could but I think maybe like somebody shot somebody and they got the gun away from the shot the other person back And but they will died from the wounds. Yeah. So it's crazy. Three people died in two months in one apartment.

Uh, do you, if you live next to that apartment, are you allowed to break your lease at that point? Like, that's a, I think that's like if you're a roommate, you're going to suicide, you get a free. Like a lemon and a egg. The next guy that moves in, you're like, I'm not even going over. I don't care.

I'm not even introducing myself. It's a waste of time anyway. How do you rent the apartment again? It's like, yeah, you, you buy some bleach you rent the apartment again? It's like, yeah. You buy some bleach. Yeah, I guess so. Don't tell anybody. That's when you fucking rent a two bedroom for 600 a month.

Yeah. That's funny. Do you think anyone's living in an old house? Do you think anyone's ever died in your house? I don't know, maybe. I don't know if people were born in that house. It's possibility. Yeah, there was a long time ago when I moved out to beauty, this is a long, long time ago.

I looked at a house in Austin that was so old. It literally had on the floor plan. It had a birthing room. That's what it was listed as. Man, they had a whole room dedicated to that? To a birthing. Yeah, that's what it's called. What did they do when nobody was in there?

Someone's going to get it. It's actually a thing in, in, in, in, uh, that's going to be a thing in architecture that I just don't know what it is. It's actually a room And it's not actually for birthing stuff. I actually invented that three years ago It's like you know people think vomitarium is like people think that's a place where people go to throw up That's not what's all the Torah. It's an exit That's what a vomitarium means. It means that's a place where to push people out I guess that's what you do when you vomit you push out the bad right But people think of vomitarium is a place where people like in like ancient Rome would go and pukes

So they keep more that's not what that is at all Voluntarium Yeah, there was enough of like a problem with it. We got a build some very gluttonous society people are thrown it everywhere Gus is tired of having vomit all over his lawn. Let's just build like a big spot. Everybody can go to I love I love the I love facts that just get really misty of a time like everyone believes that Lemmings would just commit suicide to keep the numbers down we know why though because they pushed a bunch of Lemmings off the good Disney movie yeah I do a lot of people ran a bunch of those mice off a cliff and so he thought he'd be better story than just watching mice run around and so he put the camera.

Miltred cam could take a horribly dark turn and I'm like, you're falling. Miltred cam is bad ass too. I was watching a James Bond movie. I'm watching all the James Bond movies. Yeah. I'm not terrible. Just awful. All of Roger Moore is just cheesy as hell. I guess I agree but okay. There's a there was I was watching Moon Raker. There's one bit where he's in a gondola in Venice and then it inflates and it drives into a hovercraft and a pigeon does a double take that's a part of James one movie anyway there's a bit there's a bit at the end of a film dude that's even a like digital yeah they filmed a pigeon turn its head and then looped it back into it again it was so dumb

anyway there's a scene in in the spy who loved me, where right at the end of the movie, everything's kicking off. The big base is about to explode, but the woman is still in there, and he has to get her out in like one hour. So, he's like, quick, get me that package that Q sent me, and he's like putting it all together as little hand bars, and then it comes to him on a jet ski.

I guess jet ski is one around back then, but it was just a jet ski and I was wondering why did the cuteness descend of that? So you get it, so you get away. Obviously it worked. Yeah, but I was confused. I was just giving regular stuff sometimes. I've always been invented. Yeah, I was just saying I'm going and big listen. I mean, what more do you want from me?

I make you shit all the time. I was expecting a jet ski. I was expecting to do something. it turns out jet skis won around They're sometimes special about it. Sometimes cute doesn't have the time, right? It's like It's all it's all things start as military technology at some point in time Yeah, have you have you read the books like have you read them was it in Fleming? I've never read an in Fleming book. It does. Did you do what the way did who's the producer who makes the James Bond movies? Albert are I never read a name for him, but he does. Did you do what the way he did? Who is the producer who makes the James Bond movies? Albert R. Cubby Broccoli?

Nine. What's I said? R. L. Stein. Broccoli. Broccoli. That's not how he pronounced his name. It's Broccoli. I just learned that.

It's Broccoli? Yeah. It's spelled like Broccoli. Yeah, but I've heard it's Broccoli. It's not. If your last name was Broccoli, you would also say it's Broccoli. I don't know what I'm going to do. I totally would.

Absolutely. That's like a Tarje right? Is what he's doing? Joe Innis. Yeah Yeah, there's no way that it's actually broccoli. I've heard it's broccoli. I think I saw I think I was on the Academy Awards And you get like a lifetime achievement. I saw it during the skyfall credits It's when I first like really noticed it the broil brockley. Yeah, there's documentaries with all this family and no that'll broccoli Oh, brockley our broccoli. There's documentaries with all this family and no, that'll broccoli. They could be broccoli. It's broccoli, the whole way. So someone on Twitter, I think his name is Blitzcat, was saying that that apartment complex

with the three people that died was Michael Bolton's apartment from office space. What? What's with this apartment? It's crazy. It's like a story, didn't it all often? We should go, we should just shoot a podcast and the Michael Bolton's death for only only three of us will make it out of that podcast alive. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll make it. I'll be one of them. All right. Well, it's, uh, some people are also saying that a birthing room could be just another name for a bedroom. What? Yeah. You've been. I don't know. It was in the front of the house.

They said, some people said that, uh, they use that term in the Navy who is that Chris S. Robert Well the house was a boat The Navy what is that's called that's what I want to know so I'm gonna launch the house in the fucking space All right, it was go the first room. I thought it started to get a start with the couch Okay, it's the first in like I'm boned to a spaceship. I'm gonna go and chop it up and then you off the space. You say hello to the moon space. That's where you find the body. It's like my body. Where have you been? I found it. I like that you could destructive this narrative. It all makes sense now. Yeah. Maybe he was just like a horrible space. I didn't get it. There's a miscommunication.

I got a guy. He's circling the sun. I can't run to you. I'm gonna die. I'll be dead. It's fine. We're gonna help him. Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, mind the thing with Cree. Every now and then two. Neighbors are where I fuck up the most.

I really definitely fuck up with neighbors on a regular base. Almost everywhere I live that you something that pisses off a neighbor. One time, fucking, the first place I lived on Budo, Fuck up with neighbors on a regular base almost everywhere I live that you something that pisses off a neighbor one time Fucking I built a house the first time a house I've ever lived and I decided I was gonna be really dumb and actually build the house and I get what I got married in the same year. Yeah, yeah, yeah So did that and like so my house was one of the first ones built out the middle of nowhere in beauty I remember that I started red versus blue and My house was one of the first ones built out in the middle of nowhere and beauty. I remember that. We first started Red versus Blue.

And so there were houses always being constructed around us. And one time, Harlem, Matt is over there. And so we were just walking the neighborhood and we stopped in front of this like the house like too over from mine, houses under construction. And we're standing out there and I met the guy before I forget what his name is now. That's a calm Kurt. And we're like stopping. Yeah, they're building this house and they're going to like me sitting outside and here's what they're gonna do

And that's out there and he's like stand the front you're just yeah, I don't like this because these windows look like shit And that's terrible and I see the guy in the house the dude in the house and it's a constructed house There's the windows aren't there so it's like here. I'm like match I'm not sure because that's a piece of shit I'm like fucking home shot up dude I'm like fucking home shot up dude Like this total like noise of disapproval and the guy walks out he goes can I help you guys I go hey I just thought I'd stop by and say hello to you one last time before we live nice to each other for 12 fucking years

See yeah, I don't think there's any point in getting to know your neighbors. Yeah. Because there are very few people in the world who you like and enjoy spending time with. The chances of one of them living right next door are pretty slim. The chances are you don't like him. So why even bother? My other next door neighbor has little dogs and they bark and someone's they bark like when they're not home. I don't think you realize how much dog barks mother and father that lives above me.

I know when the fucker leaves because that's as soon as the dog starts bark if you have a pet went to one Seriously if you have a pet and you leave the house ever you should know that your dog barks my dogs don't bark Listen, you have a camera. I have a camera. Yeah, and I'm sure there's some barks that dogs that don't bark If you have a dog and you leave your house set up a camera one time you'll be fucking amazed at how much god damn dog barks and you have destroys everybody else's life the moment you leave it's like a fucking baby they'll go for like six hours like this mother fucker let me has a little bit like yappy dog and people don't know they just don't know yeah and so every time I come home the dog truck they bark when I get come out of the car and so this happened like I'm in my house now almost a year it took me three months before I got home one day and the

dogs like come with the fence Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, shut the fuck up goddamn She's on the Hi Bernie and I go oh That's over too. Oh man. I hit us I had a break point like three months in or something where I was just like I had a break point like three months in or something where I was just like Fuck up and then because I'm like well, they're not home anyway, so fucking I'm gonna scream it their dogs through the floor Yeah, I feel like 30 seconds Yeah, I'm gonna dog does not it does not do shit. I think it'd be way worse from all the spaceship construction noise

Yeah, well that's down the hall though not above me. This is right above me I might want the spaceship guy above me, okay? Then at least I know I'm not gonna get fucking burned down from underneath me He sets the fucking building on fire. It's above me at least. I'll try to get the hell out But seriously listen if you have dogs Set up a record of just one time yeah Everyone who has dogs and leaves them alone should be obligated at least once and I know my cat fucking Joe He sits outside our door me hours when he wants to come in, but I don't think that carries

You know it's not nearly the same. It's not piercing fucking dogs barking dude fucking dogs. They just bark constantly I can get those little Debocking comments that like straight up with orange. Yeah, but it's not They go over their house. It's not the dog. No, I mean That's a suggestion for people who have bucky dogs. Yeah, but he's saying they don't know their dogs I'm saying most of the time say I don't think anyone realizes like how much their dogs bark and then if they do They just don't give a shit. Why didn't you see that? I'm taking up their dog shit in my yard Why are they gonna care about that?

House dog think you're gone forever every time the dog box If I'm a text and it just says box That's a great idea. That's a great idea. I think about recording them and just playing them back at full volume I think about like if I'm ever gonna do anything It's just gonna leave like a very vulgar hateful message on their door Yeah, I haven't gotten to that point. Yeah, that's my go to I got to be so mean in a note What's that in like the written message? You can be really aggressive. Yeah, I'll start Did you hear I just think you'd be more mean if you're English'll start. Did you hear how this...

I also think you'd be more mean if you're English. Like, I think you could get away with like, really fucking tearing somebody down. Well, I've been told that I sound really rude when I'm talking to people in the phone. Well, you are rude. No, well, I'm not there. It's a stranger's I'm not. There you are. What do you mean?

You're totally rude. I had to find out, like, there was some dry cleaners I needed to find out when it was. It was when we were turning those damn elf costumes. That we wore. Damn them now. And I called them up and I was like, cleaners I need to find out when it was it was more returning those damn elf costumes that we were damn them the hell and I caught up and I was like hey what time do you what time you open till all right thanks and to me that's just a normal phone conversation with a stranger information goodbye and apparently because I didn't like flutter a bunch of nice words around it that was rude oh yeah it was rude you know someone nearby someone who was that me in someone I was with oh

Okay, based on the phone call that you had there wasn't the guy on the phone It was someone with me heard the phone. Who was it again? Yeah, it sounds totally fine. I forget Sometimes it's common I phone call weird but I can't my hang up Focal I think I done this a little bit I don't know but I thought we read the focal I think it done this a little bit better I didn't need it over next time nothing else needed to be said it was a little insufficient Exchange of information no no faf around it. Yeah, yeah Gavin is let down the people around you I was told you know Not interacting with people and we went out to lunch the other day Gavin I went to which which which is a restaurant in Austin that you just write on your bag what you want and you give him the bag

And it's like multiple choice fill in the circle what you want and I said where you want to go You want to go this place for which which and Gavin literally goes? Let's go to which which because that way I don't have to talk to anybody even though it's inferior in terms of the food You get it was he did he went there because he didn't he wanted to talk to anybody fucker filled out He's bag wrong three different places I was like focusing on the source of stuff and I didn't take what size I wanted he was like you want it regular or a big I was like regular I was with you until you fucked it up. Yeah. Yeah, then you there the worst

Complainer that then gets what he wants and still fucks it up and then the people are waiting in line There's a line that forms behind you because the whole system is fucked up. Well, there's no behind us But yeah, you're right. He's like a long way to we bread and he goes white And he goes do you want large or small because you're more large small right here and he goes I'll take the large and then he's like to it's hosted. I was like oh Man, now he's mad a dude for asking him too many questions. There's which which a bag You just fill that out without information make something with some of the stuff that I put what the fuck we look I mean he fell on half of it.

I'll go with it. I guess this is enough. You're fucking standing right there. What do you want? The sandwich would come out with no bread. I like it. You'd be like, where's the bread? I mean, just the ham.

I like the idea of having to be like, excuse me, sir. I filled out the bag. Check the bag. Good day. This is edition trans- actually. I'm gonna tell you shit. No fapping about. I kind of agree with Gavin, though, in a sense of like, don't talk to people when you this is a tradition trans I'm gonna tell you shit no fact about I kind of agree with Gavin

though in a sense of like don't talk to people when you don't have to there was a there's a chain of like convenience stores in New Jersey and I assume on the east coast I don't know how far it goes but it's called

quick check and they have a deli department in and it's like a 7-11 but a little nicer and have a deli and shit so you can get fresh made sandwiches there. We're getting more of those in Texas now. Yeah. And it had, um, I went there like ever since I was a kid and then finally like when I was a teenager or maybe like in my early 20s or whatever, they got a friggin computer, like a touch computer screen

and it was like the greatest thing ever. I never had to fucking speak to a human and my mother hated it because she's like a fucking idiot and she was like, I'm scary, I don't know how to. I'm afraid the comparison time. I would she would go to get a sandwich You would always bring back the wrong sandwich for me because like you know She's like back from the olden days where she wants to like have a fucking to like she's friends with everybody where she Shopped you know, I mean she's like like she's what she shops at the grocery store and she's like, oh me and Sandier great friend Like she's friends with the fucking cashier because she goes there every two weeks and they talk about their kids.

You don't like walking to places and people know you when you walk in. Like, hey, what's up? I don't know. I mean, it's not bad sometimes, but like, oh, that's okay, but then the second technology super seeds that it's like, I'll go fuck yourself. Yeah, I can beat it to computer.

There was a computer. There's a Chinese restaurant I stopped going to because they started greeting me and knew my regular order. Yeah. I was like, nope. That was stuff, it with like, I don't like it. I don't want to be known. Can I just walk into the store anonymously by my food pick it up? Like, one time I change my order, she's like, oh, you didn't get the, the whatever, the Kung Pao chicken. Okay, I'll come in. You got something else. I was like, no, you would think that's useful. From my point of

view, I've not wanted to speak to people. If I walk into a place and they say hey Gavin one a thing and it is what I want but I'll change it because I don't want to have a regular thing at a place That's the worst thing in the world. So we go to Jersey mics all the time fucking love it at Jersey mics Perfect example We went there the other day and I was to cause the meet Lindsey and Gavin went there for lunch and we ordered our sandwiches and like you know They they first they do the meat the cheese and shit and then they move it over to the like the dressings and stuff and like what you want on it like the lettuce and all that stuff yeah so like they do all the sandwiches first but Gavin and I were off like to the side by by the drinks and stuff and they got to my sandwich like what to put on it but I wasn't standing there and I look over and I'm like oh I gotta go around

and tell him what I want and right before I do that one of the girls who was worked there for a while tells you that guy like oh he wants this this this and this and I'm like, oh, I gotta go around and tell him what I want. And right before I do that, one of the girls who's worked there for a while tells you another guy like, oh, he wants this, this, this, and this. And I'm like, oh, never mind she got it. Like I literally didn't have to walk over there. I'm like, I fucking love that. You can't think. Like, I got a little weirded out. There was a guy here at that Jersey Mike's who was like a manager who was there for a long time.

Who got to the point where he started recognizing me and knowing my order. And that made me a little uncomfortable. So one day I was up north by the Arboretum. And there was another Jersey Mike's there and I was like, okay, cool I'm gonna eat at this Jersey Mike's because the guys not gonna be there. I walked in Crazy He's like you want the the club's up no tomato. No, yes my face. He's like, you want the clubs up? No tomato? No. Yes.

Hey, uh, at one point, wow, it's crazy. And Lindsay and I got a sandwich in their route, his and hers on the sandwich. Now the last time we went, we all got our sandwiches. Didn't say anything. The three of them came out. It said GM and L on the sandwich. Really? Yeah. And they're like, bye guys. And the Gavin's like, I hate it. Well, don't eat there. So much. He goes there all the time. He complains about it. He goes there like at least once a week if not more I mean I go there like three times a week. It's quick. It's close and it's fucking delicious Dresden Mike says amazing stuff that Matt went there for for a lunch today and

He be got this thing. It was like it was like a sandwich with no bread and it comes in like this Tupperware container Okay, it's like that salad basically. Yeah, salad. It's like a sandwich bowl. They can get bread out and throw in a bowl. I go, that looks pretty good. I go, Jersey Mike's got that there. And he goes, yeah, he goes, I don't like it though. He goes, two things I like about it.

I go, what? It's good. First, first of all, I like the name. It's called a sub and a tub. And I go, yeah, that's pretty weird. Because I hate asking for it. I go, what's the other thing you don't like about it? I thought you could say, like, it's like too much lettuce or something like that, because I was looking at it.

He goes, he goes, ah, they just give it to you What does that mean? They just give it you guys. It's not like fanfare Yeah, they just make it like here you go From the four quarters of the earth, summative tommorow. That was an idea. What do you mean by that? But I'm sure we really have a summative tommorow back.

There's this hat not ready to go. And there's that sandwich from today. All of these legitimately absent, there's no face here, so see you. Are we looking at that presentation of that thing? I mean, what? Where's the fuck you? When do you presentation of that thing. I mean, what I When the MF that I don't know when when you when you're a bad bitch at Jersey, Mike's they go sir a

Chees steak excellent choice Let me get that for you. Sorry. There's a jazz house. They give a tune and then Here's your fucking stubborn a tub fucker That's the Jersey way right and throw it across They they just taking actually flipping out of the tub in your face. I think he even made the noise of like they made for the house when he touched it. He gets you out and he just gives you this. Nuh. So was he serious about this? He was dude.

He was dead. He was upset about his lunch because of the lack of fans from the top. You know, I mean, got a lunch, but like a little fanfare with my lunch. I don't think you go back to that place unless he sees like a underneath manager now with fans with plezés. He's now hiring. You know what? I'm going to go in there and make a difference.

I showed him how to do it right. So, what the. All right, it's time to wrap up. We got to go. I got to beat. I got to beat him into the restaurant. Next time he, it's time to wrap up we gotta go. Oh, I gotta beat I gotta beat him into the restaurant Next time he goes there go to that place and go look when the next hit comes in ought to be five bucks make a big fuck Call your friends in your song Dude dude, this guy's got a stop Come here get the fire

One second one second no, come here. There's another employee standing by the guy going Get the red phone get it That's gonna fucking fire me tomorrow All right, well, thanks for watching everyone. We're back on Wednesday another episode of the patch and next Monday another episode of ARTIpodcast. Hey, very well sub in a tub. Bye everyone. What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? Bernie Burns. Jolene? Gavin Free.

Custorolo. And Jeff Ramsay. Matt Hollow. Brandon Burmute. Carrie Chakras. It's podcast. Yeah. Gavin free Gustav Rolo And Jeff Ramsay Matt Holland Brandon from the movie Carrie Shocker It's podcast

Yeah bitch It's podcast AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I fucked your sister. What are you talking about? Why are you talking? Shut up! Describe the show to a newcomer in a more familiar way. Do you like apples? Example. Together in Trempathos, Characombs, Characombs are free to deas of nothing to do with this podcast.

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