Rooster Teeth Podcast - RT Podcast #306

Episode Date: January 13, 2015

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It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers will learn that an Anthony Mackie comes a new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-octane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motormouth outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland. If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church. Twisted metal, streaming now, only on peacock. This podcast is brought to you by Audible.com, the Internet's leading provider of audiobooks with more than 150,000 downloadable titles across all types of literature, including fiction,

nonfiction, and periodicals. For free audiobook of your choice, go to audible.com slash rooster teeth. Audible.com slash ruster teeth. This episode of the Ruster Teeth podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace recently launched the latest version of their platform Squarespace 7, which has a completely redesigned interface and an incredible feature called CoverPages. Try the new Squarespace at squarespace.com slash ruster teeth and enter offer code Ruster Teeth at checkout to get 10% off. Hello everyone. Welcome to the Ruse Chief podcast. Easy you in. Hello. To Monday night.

You guys just missed Gavin's penis. It was just hanging out. Are you always Brandon? Why are you starting doing radio voice? No, I was it just a little teaser and then it may be a little bit of like oh, yeah I can't wait for someone's text message. Oh, yeah I really want to do the the Binaural podcast just so I can get up and close keep fucking talking about this It would be cool. Let's have it like right in your ear hole. Yeah, it sounds like work It does definitely work. It doesn't I would do it. I would take like a couple hours on a my day to do that My to actually record it. Yeah, yeah, the set up the set up What we're not we're not having one day night. Yeah, I go That's no problem. I'll make some time. That's the way it works for me at Rucherti things are set up before I get there I'm not on crew. I'm gonna show up other than RTX. I have something to say to you. What's up? You flaky bitch

What happened what happened? What happened in the plan for like six months? It was cold. It was really cold cold We were supposed to hang out and watch the well what yeah, we're gonna watch the Spurs game because Crystal Pasta watch the Crystal Pals game. Yeah, yeah, the Spurs game and crystal past the crystal pales game yeah yeah the spurs game and the night before I was like man I haven't heard anything from Gus I guess we're not doing it I'll just text him just to see so I just text footy nothing

you know I don't respond do you have that receipt set up no I know you have that receipt set up? No, I know. But this is a depressing. I know you do that to people But I feel like I've never been the recipient of just a bank account like that. So I was like I think Gus has enough respect for me. I think you'll reply See like you're pulling up your show How long have you guys been planning that since like before the season started? Preset them. it was really cold I just want to say that and really rainy and I'm sure with your listening or watching it was much colder and much rain Your whoever the fuck you are and I don't care about that

But it was rainy and cold here and that's what I care about I was like I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna do it. Well, where are you guys going? You going out somewhere? We're gonna go to the haymaker. Yeah, we're gonna watch on the TV and I Where are you guys going? You're going out somewhere? We're going to go to the haymaker. Yeah, we're going to watch on the TV. And I've got it here. In my defense, you can see, look at this. In my defense, the previous text is one I sent you that went unanswered. What are we going to do? Answer a picture?

That's not a question. I'm just saying. Just put a law on that. What is that picture? I don't know what else we've discussed before. This is what I'm going'm not filming up on that. It's not on screen anymore. Let's see it.

There's no way. Can I share a text I just got from Chris? Sure. Like a minute ago. I know you got the podcast, but could you put the sandwich I left out on the fridge? It's really good. Can you put the sandwich that he left out into the fridge? Oh, you must eat it some more.

Go, go do it. Yeah, you should go do it. Go do it. I know. Yeah, go do it. I'll be over there. So I'm glad I didn't scroll up. Because if I scrolled up, it would have been that. Oh, yeah, you can't show that. Oh, is that from Lacer team?

Yeah, which I cannot show for maybe a couple more weeks. Yeah. Or a couple more months. Well, OK, so the next spurs of Crystal Palace game is probably in October, also. Yeah, it's probably next season. By the way, good game No, I'm glad I didn't go fucking great one Crystal Palace, and that's your room for the best worst team in the Premier League What was it like a cheap penalty or something? Oh, yeah, it was well

Well, yeah, Tottenham went up 1-0 and Crystal Palace fucking rallied. Got a cheap penalty. It's all good. It's weird to be told about Barclay's premier league. It was on NBC. It was. The game was like on... Did you watch it at home?

Yeah. It wasn't there. It wasn't there. Someone's eating it. That's what's happened. Was it the Einstein bag that was lying out? Because I was going to eat that even though I didn't know who it was. Someone took it.

I was going to eat food this out. Sometimes. Have you ever lied about it? You're the worst kind of person. No, if someone leaves their food out for a certain amount of time. What are you a savage? Free game. No, I'm hungry. We live walking distance from a shop. Do we? I mean we work walking distance from a supermarket. I we? I mean, we work walking distance from a supermarket. I just eat the chips that Bernie leaves behind. Because like Bernie will just leave chips on like the corner of a table. I could do like half of the bag of chips. It's because like so often people have food that they bring in and leave in the kitchen.

That's just free game. Like they even sit in the email. It's just like I brought cookies anybody could take them but not like the sandwich sitting there Bernie brought Poutine and left on the table which I thought was the weirdest thing to bring in like a nasty thing to me there yeah just heated up one of the animators is taking some and I was gonna take some but then I saw him taking it and made me not want to touch it was a grace one yeah, I was using his hands or what? No, just a utensil, but it just made me not want it. I couldn't, I saw it there and I wanted some,

but I couldn't find a plate. So I got a glass. And I had a glass of poutine. Oh, you like poutine. What do you say? Why do you react like that? The poutine tastes the same. Look, some food shouldn't be enough of a cup.

It was a glass. It's a glass is a drink receptacle. Like cereal, that'd be weird. I eat cereal out of a couple of them. She's got a couple of be awesome. You know? You use a spoon, yeah, just fucking drink it. Yeah, but then you drink in like soggy bits.

You're eating the soggy bits otherwise? Well, from a spoon, it's not as soggy. What are you talking about? How does that make sense? It's in the milk for the exact same amount of time. I don't know, you gotta be careful serial because you you you answer the You went to the soggy territory. You got to be like it's the same with Yorkshire puddings You got to scoff them down before they get soggy. Do you like Poutine Brandon? I've never had it

Why is that weird because it's not a couple? It's that Frank. It's at Haymaker, which is close by the office We've been I would to Haymaker with you recently, didn't I? No, that was someone else. We never go to Lodge with Brandon. Except that one is under there a couple times. I like piggyback onto people that you ask for lunch. I never ask anyone. There's always other people who ask.

It's usually me. Who is the nice one in this? Who is the nice one in this? Who's that good at hate? Oh, it's Gilby, he wasn't you. No. You do it very similar. Can we go to he maker sometime, Gus?

Sure, why not? He'll flake out. He won't flake out. He won't be that. No, just ignore your text. I just won't reply. You ready to go? And I'll just hide in my office. I'm excited for the next time you text me. Could you not gonna respond? Nope. Oh, Gavin's so upset. Sometimes Gavin just texted me like really inappropriate words, over text. Like what? I can't say them.

Like just, you know, words that you wouldn't say on a live stream. On this live stream? Any live stream? Like that you wouldn't say on this live stream? Do you have any or a terrible person? Just to get a rise out of me. This from the guy who has baby anus written on his shirt. Dude, rise the baby anus.

No, it's bavianus. Bavianus? Don't you know baviannis? Who's popular folks finger in the 70s? So I'm just gonna cut to the chase What did the dog eat? Okay, so I had to get on the phone with poison control Because our dumb pug

ate something she shouldn't have and this was a couple weeks ago, right? Yeah, this was a couple weeks ago. Let me pull up the picture for it. You tweeted a picture, I think, right? Yeah, so my girlfriend and I were like, all of a sudden having a pretty serious conversation, talking about like visa stuff. And like as you guys know, that's like, you know,

pretty stressful. Are you trying to get into the country? She's trying to stay in the country. Where is she from? Mexico. Okay. You two, man. Been there.

Yeah. So, the pugs behind us on the ground chewing on a water bottle, because she does that. I don't know what it is. She just likes that. And after a certain point, I got really annoying, so I turned to grab it from her. She actually has a bottle of lube and she's gone through the whole thing. Like it's not like a big giant thing. You'll lube. It's like a moderately sized thing of lube. But it is a pretty decent size amount of loob for a pug

So I'm gonna I gotta bring I'm gonna I'm gonna side track you here for a minute Okay, you tweeted this picture. I remember this picture that you've got the dog You're sitting on the bed the dogs on its back and you're on the phone and there's like five bottles of lotion behind you on the nightstand It's cuz my girlfriend's up. Why do you need five bottles of lotion and a giant tub of my girlfriend's a boy. Why do you need five bottles of lotion and a giant tub of lures to your bed? I will defend that point. I am married to a girl who does not have five bottles of lotion on the nightstand right next to the bed. Yummy texture and ass. Okay. I do you can cock you like the ultimate jack-off formula? I'm two apart in jergans, one part you sir. Women don't use lotion to jack-off.

I'm not accusing Paul. I'm accusing him kissing him dude I would that requires so much work to have and go get the low-heated it's like I don't need that just spit on it just shine it up till nice right i don't know that's her apartment that is not all of my lotion but yes half the comments were about the undecid amount I do have to back her up though because girls tend to have just bottles of stuff of product, whether it's hair stuff or skin stuff. I have, I don't even know how many bottles under my sink. But not right next to the bed.

No, no. Have you spent on your fish? A penises? I mean, it was your suggestion. Yeah. Sometimes you get a use in spit. It's a practical solution, but you're never like okay great So how do you do that? Do you go like and like drip some auto you just like

Well usually you're up right up close Oh, no, no, no, it's a drip So having my parents usually all right out close so that's what you're spaying on it. I pictured it as like So what do you do to a pug that's eating a bottle of lube first? I call the vet and you have to tell them look She ate a whole bottle of lube. And then you went to the reaction. Oh yeah. Oh, only three bottles.

I'm so scared. It was dead. It was dead. She was so out. And they're like, we don't know. Was it flavoured? No, no, gross. But it was a water.

It was like, not rubber based, like oil based. Oil based? So I imagine that was murder. Anyway, so they're like, I had a call Poison Control, which is like 80 bucks, like they charge you before, they'll save your dollars. Poison Control charges you when you call them? Yeah.

Where's it like an expensive? Animal Poison Control. Oh, still. But like the crazy thing is, I told them, and it wasn't a big deal, like they were totally cool about it. And then they, I told them the brand name, and then they were like listing off the different types. Like they had it a complete database of Loub.

Because I mean, it's not even people. Are some more dangerous than others. So do they have to just list every liquid that would be found in a household? That a dog could get to. But I imagine it's not dangerous for someone or something to consume the loop because of the nature of where it is usually and how mouths might be in those areas. Yeah, but they don't expect you to just like eat the entire bottle of the loop. Like I even felt

the ground. I was like, how much of the ground is wet right now and it was all dry. Like she really got in there. It reminds me of that since it was so Where Homer eats the candle so we could eat Oh Yeah, so um what does the dog just like have the runs for a week? Oh, it's a couple days But they're like you need to try to get her to eat to kind of like balance it out The only danger was if she threw up because you could try to throw up Lou but apparently you could choke So was if she threw up because if you try to throw up Lou but apparently you could choke so I imagine all of the dogs figured going like

just shooting out the dog's back whoa just putting like bull barrings in his mouth yeah she recovered but she's sick now you know how they can go to Mexico they say don't drink the water yeah she did and she got parasites oh your dog they say don't drink the water. Yeah. She did, and she got parasites. Oh. Your dog? Yeah.

Aw. Don't drink the water. Or Penny. So, at least it's the water. It's not like, listen, my dog went to Mexico. It about a loop again. I don't know what happened. Something about the way they make it down there.

Yeah, she loves lube, man. I don't know. I know. It just loves lube. Yeah, she loves lube man. I don't know. I just love lube Yeah, she's a weird dog. She's very weird and lotion. Yeah Dude your phone is off the hook. I'm I've silenced it and it's still good You want to answer it? No, I'm good. I remember you used to leave When we were at the annex and we used to do the podcast down there You would leave your phone right up here on the arm for the couch and it would flash. Every time it flashed, I want, I would try to pick it up. You always wore a little too fast for me, but I'd always very subtly

try to reach over and grab it and you'd always notice it the last day. You didn't have the best reflexes. I wanted to try to answer your phone one time on air, but I never got the opportunity to. Were you just getting a phone full? What just now? No, I got like a budget text. Can I miss something? It's so popular.

Okay, so 100% true. She ate another bottle of lube two days ago. Are you serious? Stop eating it in all areas! Wait, is that what you said? No, no, you said the dog had parasites. So you just try to drown the parasites with a bunch of lube? She's more like having a bunch of blood having a good good

She's not leaving Lou about planet. It'll just roll it out. She goes and she like digs What a hell is it? Daring it, are you? No, you're putting it in a paper. It's in like a little cubby inside No, I'm trying to think like I'm just from the ceiling fan or something Or just in a drawer that dogs can't open with their paws The really the really messed up part is like we have like the same Insta Cart driver like every week

the person who does like our shopping for us. So you can't possibly like, these guys go through so much a loop. Wait, you order your loop from Insta Cart? Yeah, and condoms to Insta Cart. You don't. It saves me a trip. Within you, like the person has it to you, right? It saves me a trip. Within you, the person has it to you, right?

Yeah, at the time. I've never used a car. They don't bring it out and one by one go through a shop and let's do it. Here's your extra small condoms. Sometimes they don't have something. They have to ask you to call you and be like, are you okay with me replacing this? They have to replace the condoms once. Oh my god.

Have you ever ordered just a lube and call them? No, they charge you more if it's only like a couple things. Yeah, the delivery fee is higher if it's under $35. I think it's like 10 bucks. Damn. And if it's over 35, I think it's like four bucks for something for delivery. It's really affordable.

Yeah, I will use it. Yeah, I love it. It was great for the very cold weekend you really don't have to leave the house ever no between that and Amazon and for every's favor there's this app I think it's spreading across the US people just do shit for you I had somebody go to GameStop and buy me a hard drive once I just did not want to go to GameStop Wow it's awesome now I love the fact that we live in a city where you can do all of that

It's the same thing with like Uber and ride sharing. It's like you theoretically Wouldn't have to own anything if you have a phone in a credit card. We don't know Uber fresh yet though No, it's only in that's only like in West Hollywood and what's that food Santa Monica? It's like groceries I think but it's different somehow. It's through Uber Oh, we never got those Uber kittens. Now, do you remember that? Do you remember the day Uber was, they were, I guess, sending out batches of kittens for people to play with for 15 minutes and like, you would pay a certain amount and it would go to, I think, the Humane Society as a donation.

And all day, me, Gus and Jordan were trying to get kittens delivered to the office, and it just never happened because they were always taken. Hi demand. Yeah, I was really upset. That is kind of sad. I know. Potential for kittens there. I feel like Rucity should be higher priority.

You would think right, because we would make a video about it. They should flag all internet content companies. They'd be like, this is going to be promotion if we send it to Rucity. Exactly. Look Gavin, just one special attention. It makes sense though, from a promotion. Speaking of special attention, for the second week in a row, I had to go and get Gavin right before the podcast started from his office.

I have a clock in my office. I'm not doing that anymore. I haven't. Right now, I'm not doing it anymore. I was dealing with some business and I was looking at the thing. It was 721. I knew I was not 721. Oh, I was like, I've got time.

It was not 721. What time was like I've got time. It was not 721 what time was it was 725 Even still it takes 20 seconds to walk over here Yeah, but you usually peep before the podcast so he was accounting for that Well, you know, maybe I can pee on my a minute and 10 seconds before the podcast started you asked if you had time to pee I was kidding. Yeah This coming from the guy who's last week was like, I forgot about the podcast until you came and got me. That's very true.

When we started the video podcast, more than a few people had problems, like just had to leave in the middle of it to go pee. Do you remember? Yeah, I mean, it happens a lot. Well, you find your bail limit. You find your 90 minute bail limit and minus three, five, four beers, I gotta get up and pee.

So some people also started drinking too soon. Yeah. Like they started drinking way before the podcast started and they'd be like, you're gonna have to pee in the pot. No, I'll be fine. Of course they have to pee in the podcast. The worst part about the annex is the bathroom was barely another room for the control room.

So people would like run in there while we're like running the podcast and you would just hear somebody pee the whole time. There's someone pee isn't that bad though. Oh it drives me crazy. I know what this is. I turn on like a sink. Sometimes I'll turn on a shower because it weirds me out of people can pee. By just pouring water. You can't replicate a dump. What does it matter if you can replicate pee? Well because it could be water. You know you're not running into the back, it doesn't sound as bad as that.

Yeah, but who runs the tab at like a tinkle? What do you mean? What does that? You know, I've just said to the podcast before that I'm like very self-conscious about the sound and the strength of my urination. Yeah. So like when I would have to pee in the annex control room,

I would always sit down So that way it wasn't as loud or people couldn't hear me pee So I'm laughing in the controller, but it's true You probably never heard me pee in the annex because I would always sit down It was really convenient though having the bathroom right there Here you have to go outside and you have to swipe your card and mention the code Normally before we come out and do the podcast Like I'll go take a pre-podcast dump if I need to

and I'll go out to the bungalow. And people are gonna be shooting into the podcast. Oh, it's 650, just is probably shitting. And I think it was like two weeks ago, I went out there to the bungalow for my pre-podcast shit. And my access card didn't work because I didn't realize it, but the reader was broken. And I was like, oh man, I actually really have to take a dump.

But like, when we were doing this, I started walking back to this window, and went to sound check, and I tried the doors, but they were locked in the bathroom. And I was like, oh man, I'm gonna have to shit in the rescue bathroom. So I went in there, and there was no one in there. I was like, okay, I don't know if I ever had to do this before.

So it was like, Brandon always says that the lights go off. So I made sure to wait in front of the lights until they wouldn't turn up, and I ran into the bathroom and I started and like Radha was getting you know my full on dump someone walked in it was like God damn it. Did you close and wait for them to come out? No because it was like that that like I don't have any storage. I don't have any storage at that point. So like I ran out of finish up here so I wipe and get out to go wash my hands. Fucking Bernie. You know, like, everyone who could have looked at it,

it's fucking Bernie, it's like, fucking asshole. Couldn't have waited like three more minutes. The gaps in the door, of really, they're not very private. No, they're not, I probably, I've looked at someone by accident. Yeah, you can see who I am.

I'm not gonna say, but it's like, was it an animator? I'm washing my hands. Yeah. And I look up like, oh, there's someone in the bathroom Oh, we've made eye contact Have you ever walked in on somebody go into the bathroom? On Lindsey yeah I think I walked into someone else on someone else in the bungalow also Yeah, I walked in on an animator the same kind of dirty animator

Like their first like instinct reactions And then it's like what do you do when you see them again? It's just like you have to play it off like I think you just don't talk about it Or you don't make my contact ever again for the rest of your life you talk about on a podcast like a year later when my school Don't make my contact ever again for the rest of your life. You talk about it on a podcast like a year later. When my school class went on a camping trip, a bunch of my friends walked into the toilets there and one of the PE teachers was having a shower with all this kickoff and they walked in on him

and he just went, and his knob was out. Didn't even cover it, just like covered his nipples. Maybe he has like really ugly nipples and he wanted to cover those. He was disgusting then. Yeah, so maybe he had really ugly nipples. Or like really long nipples, he wanted to cover those. He was a disgusting man. Yeah. So maybe he had really ugly nipples. Or like really long nipples. Those creep me out.

Oh yeah, they're weird. Like you can see it through the shirt. But why if you like, if you think you can flip it, it'll go like, by the way, by the way, by the way. Like a door stop. Yeah. Have you ever seen this? I've seen those in porn.

Creasing me out. You watched way more porn. You got that one there. What causes that? Is it just like too much pinching? No, I think it's just a genetic thing. Maybe. Yeah, that DNA is really long.

Shut up. Can you see a DNA? No. Like with a microscope? What? They always show it like a... Oh, with a microscope. I thought you went with the naked eye.

Yeah, I'm sure you can with a microscope. But do you actually see the strands? Or did they do other tasks and then they simulate it? Oh. I'm not a mic. I thought you went with the naked eye. Yeah, I'm sure you can with a microscope But do you actually see the strands or did they do other tasks and then they simulate it? Oh, I'm not a scientist Come on, that's why I don't talk about science stuff ever on the podcast. Yeah, heaven forbid I get something wrong There's no way you can't just like you just not like looking in. How much do you have? You have seven Seven Like if you separate DNA to all of your body how much DNA is that there's 23 little bits of the DNA Like every part of you got DNA like if you pull that all your DNA would it just pull you completely

I don't know is that bits of your body that don't have DNA it's got be water, right? They say there's like a ton of water content in people. Yeah. Well, if you, well, what have you got like a pile of water and a pile of DNA and then I don't know. You have a person. What color would it be? Red? I don't know.

I saw a really cool image of the earth and then in relation is all of the earth's water in a globe and all of the earth's air. Yeah, it didn't bring a retweet that from somewhere. Oh, did it? It looked really cool. It's like a bugger or water compared to the earth. But you always visualize it as like this mostly water. I guess it's all so shallow. It's cool. It's a good image. It's great. Yeah, it's hot. It's hot.

It's like, you know, there was that plane that crashed, that Aerojia plane that crashed a few weeks ago. And, you know, the first thing I know where it was, it disappeared. And, you know, they subsequently found the wreckage, they found the black boxes and everything. And the, the string thing to me about that was they said, the plane disappeared, we don't know where it is. This isn't like the Malaysia Airlines flight, because we don't know where that one is at all. This one we have an idea where it is, and the ocean's only about a hundred feet deep there.

I was like, how weird is it that's like the ocean is like that shallow at a point. It's like, is this like a hundred and a hundred feet at most? What does it like in the middle of the ocean? I get, yeah. What is the deepest it gets? I think it's like the Marianist trenches. Yeah, that's the deepest it gets? I think it's like the Marianas trenches. Yeah, that's the deepest part. Six miles? It's not the lowest point, but it's the point that has the most water above it. Yeah, so it would be the most pressure if you were at the bottom of it compared to you anywhere else.

Yeah, you'd be like, yeah. Apparently they found a fish that lives, I think, like the... Yeah, James Cameron, just fucking a fucking he goes on all the time Does he yeah, he's a male down there. Yeah, he's obsessed He's so much money sending like cameras down there and it's terrifying if you go watch a Documentary on deep sea fish. It's it's it's horrible. It's it's just scary It's just like I don't know why these things exist. Are you more afraid of drowning or burning to death? What's more terrifying?

Drowning I think burning would be worse Burning like oh man, I'm burning this is really hot, but the drowning thing is just like Maybe I can get out of this. I think once your lungs completely filled with water. You're kind of at peace You think yeah, I've lied people who have drowned and come back to life, they're like, yeah, I was actually okay with it at the time. I mean, I'm not really, I'm not saying it. I'm not saying it. Oh, this sucks, but.

Sorry. I've never really known that. Have you never been in a situation like a lazy boy? No, that is not. I'm just going to finish it off. I've never had a situation where you are just ready for death. You're like, I accept death at this point. No. Have you?

Yeah, I was on the donkey that ran off And it was a Was at a donkey just took off I was like maybe six and I was just like and I was like I'm gonna die This is a clear concept of death when you Yeah, no, I was like and you thought of it. I went through it's different stages. I was like oh god And I was like oh it hurts and I was like I'm gonna die. I'm gonna let go. I just fell off it Good time. No, I know you lived okay. Wasn't even I like how you were just like on the other end of the pen On a beach were you with your family? Yeah, the truth is the donkey took two steps and Gavin go off

That's what it's That's the point. It was holding anus, dude. At the time, when I was six. That's a death I'm scared of, like a reddit death. Like dying in such a bizarre dumb way that it's gonna get on the front page of Reddit, and everyone's just gonna laugh. Yes. Like a survival of the fittest kind of thing. Yeah, the Darwin Award. Yeah.

I feel like those were really popular on the internet for a while. And now, I guess you hear about stupid deaths. So frequently that it's like, no. I was addicted to 1,000 ways to die. What's that? It was like this really shitty show, where they had dramatic reenactments of really fucked up ways people have died.

And it was narrated by Hellboy, was his name? Ron Proman? Ron Proman. So it was like really deep and serious voice. One of the stories was this guy who was an alcoholic, but he, was his name. Ron Proman? Ron Proman. So it was like really like deep and serious voice. One of the stories was this guy who was an alcoholic, but he had like throat surgery. So he couldn't drink. So he had his wife give him an enema of like just pure alcohol. Oh, yeah.

And he got so fucked up, he died of alcohol poisoning. So you don't need much through the anus. You know, no, what would a shot get me? Oh, because it doesn't filter through the blood stream. Yeah, it goes directly into the blood. Yeah, that's There's no stomach So would be the equivalent of a shot Like half a beer up your butt. Yeah. Oh, I know it's just really what's a conversion read on that? Yeah My shot. I was like, what was it on how it's done who could taste beer

with his anus? Like they put a little shots of beer. Like he there were four beers. Don't do this by the way. He knew all the beers like he tasted them. We don't have to tell people not to do this. Yeah, we do. I mean, but he could name the beers when they were poured into his anus somehow. Like he get like the exacter He just knows like a dark beer. I don't know. I think he named the bizz. Oh wow. Yeah, it was impressive I mean that must be some element of taste in the rest of your body like a taste bud. There is no element of taste in my asshole There you can't taste yourself shitting. Yeah, thank God.

How? Could you? Could this guy? What you might be able to, you just know it's taste. That's a good follow-up question. Could that guy taste his own shit when you're taking a dump? But it's like, if you're in a really sticky room, after a while, you don't smell the room.

Now I'm going to think about that. Now I'm going to taste it the next time I'm taking a dump. Grim. Now that you got me thinking about it. It's all connected, right? Oh God. How do you explain me thinking about it. It's all connected, right? Oh God. How do you explain to a blind person what site is? Like, how do you get in?

Are you getting in? Why did this question come to the top? What's happening? No, like, how do you go about? Because I think you could explain, like, taste to it. It's like if you're able to taste to a blind person, I'm just gonna explain. You can't explain taste to somebody who doesn't have a sense

of, like, you can taste anything. You're just like, you put your tongue on it and it's kind of like what you feel but if someone explain the light bounces off objects into your light sensor and then you can picture that thing. Like blind people can picture stuff. Surely. Like if they hear something they can kind of project an image. A blind person's dream. And like feeling it.

If they felt something before, they can picture the way that shape would feel like. How weird do you think humans look to a person who has been blind their whole life and then gets their vision back? Well, if they never touch the human's face, probably pretty weird. They don't have an idea. Even if they touched it though, like you've been in their own face. You would understand like colors or anything like that until it came to be. I don't know. It would be so weird.

Did you all smoke a bunch of weed before you came out? What the fuck is going on here? Yeah, when it's a situation that I stumble into. Yeah, when it's just, uh, you know, these are the questions that drive the podcast. These are shower questions. Shower questions. Like you just left a lonely mind in the shower. These are the stuff that people come up. These are shower questions. Shower questions.

You just left a lonely mind in the shower. These are the stuff that people come up with. There was a good shower thought recently. When we were at New Year's at Bernie's house, someone brought up the fact that I think they saw it on the subreddit for a shower thoughts. That the first word everyone says of the year is always happy. Because you're saying happy New Year, the second the clock turns midnight. It's just funny. It is interesting Yeah, I mean English speaking Whatever it is and whatever not interesting, right? You don't think that like tonight

Interesting that the happy is the most frequently Started word yeah, I don't know doesn't does anything for me What about this? What about this? You have never seen your face. I think I think about this. You have only seen your face reflected off other objects or displays. When I was a kid, I was obsessed with trying to figure out what my face looked like from another perspective. It's like because I would look in the mirror. It's exactly what you're saying. I would look at myself in the mirror. I think that's not really what my face looks like because

there you try to do like deciding. Yeah, and it's I would always try to look at myself at the side or like get another mirror. That's why it's funny when you got 3D printed and you were like, yeah, so that was the causes I think I've been to actually seen, but I have seen light bounce off your face into my eye. And it's beautiful. and you can never wish I had you can never unsee that that is forever etched God's ugly to your eyes and your brain so Gavin you said you'd explain by saying it's Light reflects off an object and tell you sense it. How do you explain light? The silky lights I'd be like what do you see right now and they'd be like nothing? I'd be like the opposite of that The opposite of nothing is life.

Is that not fair? I'll be interesting to hear from people who have never seen like what it's like. Can be anybody can. Yeah, how do you describe light? So you know, I'm thinking like, let's say you have your eyes closed and you're in a pitch dark room, right? So you can't see anything. And you know, you can like press on your eyes. And then you can kind of see like colors and stuff. When you like finger your eyes and you get like the electrical display. So if you're blind, does that still happen? Or are the like the connections totally? That would depend whether that optic nerve was attached. Have you never done this barb? I'm just trying to see what you guys are doing. Like do it mental but like if you it's always on the other side

like if you push this side of your eye you'll see it like up here yeah yeah because it's like everything everything you see is upside down yeah and your brain just flips it yeah because the way eyes work they didn didn't experiment where they gave it on the back. Girl like a mirror goggles. And so everything she saw was actually upside down and it was like completely disorienting. But after like a week, she was just like, it's interesting that your brain can flip the image and there's no lag. Like if I could switch my brain to unflipped the image, so I was just seeing like raw light, would I be able to react faster? Or maybe there is lag and you just compensated for it. Yeah, that's why I mean, yeah, yeah. Would I be like super reflex? Once I adjust the fact that everything's upside down.

Eyes are so weird. It's like the motion blur and the effect of it. Yeah. Yeah. I years ago, one time I woke up in the morning and you know, I've worn glasses. I think ever since I was like 9 or 10 years old and so I'm used to like waking up and not being able to see anything so my eyesight is so bad. One morning I woke up, opened my eyes and I was like I can see everything clearly. Like I have 2020 vision. I can read the clock across the room. I can see everything crystal clear and I don't have my glasses on. What the fuck is happening? And you're like a film of war, I mean.

No, it was, everything was fine. Everything was great. And then like within five minutes, everything was really blurry. But like not the blurry I'm used to. I was like, that's weird, I'm a glass of sun and it wasn't right. Then like five minutes later,

I could see you okay with my glasses. And I'm like, there's just something wrong with my eyes. I was like, I need to go to the doctor. He's like, oh yeah, you've got shit on your eyes. It's fucking with your vision. That's weird that you were able to see perfectly that. Perfectly focused life. It's fine.

It was right when I woke up. I was so excited. I was so excited. I was so happy. How old were you when you got glasses? Like nine or ten. Did you, at what point did you realize that you needed glasses? The second I put glasses on for the first time? Yeah, like I had no idea I needed glasses

I just thought the world was really blurry after a certain point you have glasses. Oh, I got lacic Oh, but I wore glasses like since I was like yeah like nine or ten But I don't like we would go to basketball games and I we know we'd sit at the top because it knows bleed section It's cheap and you just couldn't see shit I'm just like, why do people pay to come to these things when you can't see anything? Everything's just a blur. You know, the funny thing is I knew as soon as I put my glasses on when I was a kid that all of a sudden I could see everything clearly. I have no memory of things being blurry before that though.

Really? I never remember being a kid being like, wow, everything's really blurry. Usually, like you're in a class in school, right? And they're like, can you see the... That was always a big fucking nerds. I was sat up front anyways. Was it was not a problem? You have a trouble writing the bus in public school. I always say next to a dude who pissed himself a lot. That was a problem. Tyler was a decide. No, he was like on a podcast or something and fucking couldn't hold his pee.

I have members of this kid peeing all the time. As a kid? He was pissed on the bus. What? I was in kindergarten. When I, that's all the time I ever took the bus and I sat. Was that kid who peed himself actually you? Yes. No, no. I know. I shit myself once in kindergarten. Explain. So when I was in kindergarten, we, uh, we had bathrooms in the classroom. Like you didn't have to leave the classroom.

There's the door we walked into the classroom. The immediately there was a boys and a girls bathroom, two different doors. And then the classroom was over here to the left. So if you need to go to the bathroom, you didn't have to go out to the hall. It was just right there about the door. So I needed to go to the bathroom. I really need to take a dump. Why am I talking about my dump so much as a podcast? I really need to take a dump. So I went up

to the bathroom and there was someone in there. I was like, oh god, I really got to go. And there was like a little seat, like a little waiting room right in front of it, right? Like a little seat and like copy of highlights or some shit. So I sat down for a little bit and I was like, really gotta go. And I remember getting up and like walking in a circle in front of the door. I really got to take a dump and I was just waiting and waiting. And I remember getting up and like walking and circling in front of the door, like, I really gotta take a dump and I was just waiting and waiting. And Richley couldn't wait anymore, so I fucking shit my pants.

See, that's funny though, because that wasn't like a sudden poo. That was, I've run out of time, I'm now gonna poo my pants. That was the decision you had to make there. No, it was the end of that. I did, I, I shit the shit out of my pants. Were you able to hide it?

And no, no, well, I mean, I told the shit out of my pants. Are you able to hide it and no no Well, I mean I told the teacher like listen She sent me to the principal's office so they could call my mom Want to deal with it. Yeah, yeah, so like I go to the office and I must have stank because they wouldn't let me stay in the office They like got a chair and put it on the hallway and told me to wait in the hall with my mother. Oh, do you sat in it? Yeah, so I was sitting in it and I'm like sitting there I'm all dejected because I shut my pants And I remember this this older kid walking down the hall And I don't know how old he was because I'm like I'm stupid kindergarten and he gets a front of me and he goes

And he turns and looks at me and goes did you and I go yeah? You can't walk it down the hallway. So you're just, it never like smushed poo when you try to. Yeah, I said, there's nothing to be, I'm gonna be like, compressed shit in my pants. Why are you getting sick? You shot your pants too. I don't know if you would. And to this day, I feel like it's a smush shit. To this day I'm still really paranoid about like needing to go to the bathroom and not being able to go.

So like that pre-podcast dump you have to take was one of a very traumatic moments of your life. Very traumatic. When I was in junior high, I could not make it all the way to the bathroom and when I finally got in there I was like, oh man, I mean, I would be eating alive. There would be the story for the next 10 years. So I cleaned up and then I had my underwear and I couldn't do anything.

So I rolled it in a ball and threw it in the corner and then immediately ran out. And as soon as I was running out, those custodian that went inside. And then later that day, I passed by the same custodian and they gave me the most evil eye in the world I was the only one in there this you could have been in there when you got in there Oh, man, I must totally give away my face

You know you gotta think you gotta be diabolical. Yeah, I know Next next time. Did I ever tell you the story of the kid that shut in the corner of our position? No next time. So I ever tell you the story of the kid that shot in the corner of our costume. No. I think it was the third or fourth grade. There was a kid that was causing a ruckus and being like just a little asshole in class. And he kept asking to leave and the teacher wouldn't let him. I forget why. She was just being a bitch as well. And he was making such a fuss about it that she put him in the corner and he ended up just shitting in the corner like he pulled down his pants and took a shit in the corner of the classroom.

Not in his pants, not anywhere that he could just go get cleaned up but in the corner of the classroom. That's how you do it. If you're going to shit, you should make it look like, you know, making a statement. I wish I had the foresight in kindergarten to take my pants off and just have taken the dump there. But then he risks someone seeing poo coming out of your illness. Which the grossest which has the lowest of the low yeah yeah but it's true but then I wouldn't have had smooth shit in my bag and they would ask you what it tastes like yeah but it's

below you how are they gonna see it it's true just get low like like a balcony well the aides comes out a little doesn't it yeah I guess it's like where you orient yourself. When I had her old office downtown, I remember walking through the parking lot that was literally next to the building and it was just homeless woman just like squatting down and I was just like watching this shit fall. And I was like, we need a move. You know what you're talking about?

Something so much that you could start to smell it. What's happening right now? Does someone need to go to the bathroom? No. Uh-huh. Should we cool it down this podcast? Just add it. It can't come back to feces.

Now we got awards to go. Yeah, we do have to do our awards. Let's do that. Speaking of shit, let's talk about our awards. Let me, uh, let me read one of these sponsor messages first. Uh, one of my everyone, this episode of the podcast is brought to you by Audible. Thanks to Audible.com for supporting the RESTEAST podcast. Audible.com is a leading provider of audiobooks with more than 150,000 downloadable titles across

all types of literature including fiction, nonfiction, and periodicals. Audio books are great to listen to when you're driving, stuck in traffic, if you're on the subway or the bus, doing chores around the house, at the gym, doing in traffic, if you're on the subway or the bus doing chores around the house, at the gym, doing errands, whatever. For our audience members, Audible's offering a free audiobook to give you a chance to track their service. One audiobook you may consider is Gone Girl by Jillian Flynn. To download this audiobook for free or another of your choice, go to audible.com slash

rooster teeth. That's audible.com slash rooster teeth. Thought Gone Girl was a good selection for our book tonight, considering it was one of my favorite movies of the year. Excellent choice. Yeah, it was great. And Audible actually got a great listen guarantee.

If you choose a book and decide you don't like it, don't worry about it. You can exchange it for another title anytime. No questions asked. It's a great service. Mayswell, try it out and read a book, learn something, you idiot. Someone had a really good idea with audiobooks. It's like, you know, a lot of people trying to get in shape now that it's a new year and everyone makes

goals of like losing weight or whatever. They had a strategy of only listening to a book on audio while you're working out. So it kind of motivates you to keep going because you want to hear the rest of the book and stuff like that. That's a good point. Absolutely do that. It's audible would be great for that. That is the a convenient way to listen to audiobooks. It is. Like Gone Girl by Jillian Flint. I actually bought that audiobook. I haven't had a chance to listen it yet, but I'm really excited to listen to it after

based on how much I like that movie. I need to start doing it because of my commute to and from work every day. Yeah, you absolutely should. I used to live around here and then drive down there. That's it, yep. I just saw them at least. I did. That's how I listen to all the gamers around that way in the car.

What do you do on the way to what? I just listen to the radio or to music. It's a waste. Yeah. Waste of time. It is a waste of time. I could be, you know, a flurry of something. I fucking hate radio.

I hate radio. Radio I like is the Bob and Deadly show, which is like from six to nine or something like that, that's it. I just hate local radio commercials. Yeah, they're all so shitty. Yeah, they cost like nothing to make and they're all the same. I tweeted about that this morning.

The fucking Bob and Deadly Show, they have like commercial breaks every now and then. They played the same three commercials eight times in a row back to back to back. I was like, what is going on? What was it an advertisement for? There was one, it two commercials were for the same thing. It was for something about how to save your money.

So it didn't work. Feed the paid.com. Okay. See? Oh, you fucking said it. Don't fucking go to that side because fuck those guys. And also putting like the emergency warning on your phone. I forget what the actual thing was because it made that beeping noise

That was a commercial for putting the warning on it. Yeah. Oh, I just figured out how to turn it off Yeah, it's exciting. Oh, it's really annoying. Yeah, yeah So seeing a movie theater like half the theater goes off and it's like a missing kid and I'm like Kid one cares. We're watching a movie. Yeah Is it horrible usually it's like flash flood? Oh? No, those I'm in the department building what am I gonna? Get the higher ground yeah So it's either pressing if you actually stole a kid to like get that alert and it's like your card and you're like oh shit But maybe that's like it must be depressing if you stole a kid. Yeah, I stole this kid and then the thing went off

And I really got bummed out Or do you think that's back again? Okay, because it gives him a heads up like he knows they're on to him No, they probably knows they're on him already They don't know like the type of car he has and it's like oh shit. They know I'm in like you know I better get out. We made like five of those. I see a lot of signs for missing elderly. Yeah on the highway. Do they just wander off? Yeah, like are people stealing old people? This movie about that I got really like it on Nebraska. Oh, yeah last year that was a great year for movies

So the rest of us really good quality wise this year. I don't really well here. Let's let's get into it I thought this year was amazing for movies really let's let's let's talk about let's start with TV show Okay, so we talked about a lot of TV shows last week I'm gonna throw them all out and we'll I thought this year was amazing for movies. Really? Let's talk about it. Let's start with TV show. Okay. So we talked about a lot of TV shows last week. I'm going to throw them all out and we'll eliminate some here. We did. We said, if there's any in this list that you think I should eliminate, please tell me we'll eliminate it.

As soon as Gavin's ready. Go for it. Bob's Burgers. No! Last week tonight with John Oliver scrap it scrap it yeah wow Oh, some groans. I don't think it's gonna win. I'm sorry. I really like last week tonight. It was one of my favorites, but it's scrapped You wouldn't have voted for it. Fuck you. All right leave it. No, no, I'm cutting it. Bob is going back on it ascension I haven't seen ascension that was Bernie's pick and then he fucking, no, I'm cutting it. Bob is going back on it ascension. I haven't seen ascension That was Bernie's pick and then he fucking abandoned us. I'm cutting it

walking dead I Don't like the walking dead. I don't watch it. I'm gonna add up two detective Orange is the new black madman cut it scrap it. Yeah, Louis Fargo house House of cards. Game of Thrones. Modern family. I'm sorry, modern family. Yeah, it's good.

Yeah, it's good. Yeah. No, iPad, I do not mean Game of throngs. Thrones is a word. Why is it fucking trying to correct me? Well, throngs is a word, too. Yeah, but I've already typed a word. Why is it trying to replace a known good word? What's that's wrong like a massive people?

You're in the throngs of passion also. That's the throws isn't it? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, She's gonna spit it. Don't do it. Don't don't don't What are you doing? She's gonna spit her red bowl Get it out. We're in make you mind up pretend there's a penis in front of you and spit on it Holy crap That's not easy. Thank you guys. All hear them. There's seven left here. I'm going to repeat them. And then everyone can pick their favorite. And we'll argue. Bob's Burgers, Chew Detective,

Orange is the new black, Louie. Scrap it. No way! That was a strong reaction. So I'm going to keep it from you. I'm going to vote for something that you've scrapped. Fargo, House of Cards,

Team of Thrones. I'll just go out and say I think true detective is my favorite show on this list. In case you couldn't tell from my loud anger, Louis. Louis is amazing. Like everything that he explores and like this amazingly awkward that show is, I think is better show of those Barbara. Favorite show, Game of Thrones. Alright, so I guess you you asked holes to win with Louis then. What was that you're about to talk about that being like IMAX game of Thrones content? I don't know. There's going to be they're going to show the last two episodes of season four and then a full length trailer for season five.

But it's shot in IMAX. I don't know. They're going to show it at IMAX theaters. It's all I know. So it might not be like. So it might be that they have some season five content that they've shot in iMacs, but that's why they're doing this. That's some heavy budget there. Are they shooting on film? I don't know. I mean yeah, you can shoot digital iMacs. Yeah that's what I'm saying. I think they just shoot digital. What does it matter? Well that's what he thought of change? It's not expensive to shoot digital and I'm X camera the bloody massive I

We talked about that huge not a digital one. I've seen a regular one I'm talking so quiet All right, so Louis you guys win. Oh Wait, you voted for Louis did okay. What would you vote for? I want for true detective. Oh, I missed that. Oh first so I've restart choking on your Red Bull all right Louis So scrap it done the best movie I've had a photo for last week tonight too. I don't know

Best movie boyhood Birdman grab it Birdman, scrap it. Barbara is vicious. Did you see Budman? I'm just trying to narrow it down to movies that you see in Budman. Did you see Birdman? I didn't scrap Budman. Did you see Bud? Someone has to do it. You know I did this in the movie. In imitation game, inherent vice, Selma, Nightcrawler,

Foxcatcher, American Sniper, the Lego movie, Gone Girl, Big Hero 6, Edger tomorrow, Guardians of the Galaxy, you only scrapped. I was waiting for someone else to scrap something because apparently I shouldn't be doing it. That was fun of you. That was fun of you. Oh, okay, let's do it again. I was making fun of you to do a giant pose. I was like, what are you waiting for? Get rid of the...

I forgot to really scrap it. Let me start over. Boyhood, interstellar, imitation game, inherent vice, Selma. SELMA? I'm gonna kill you guys. I'm fucking dead you guys. Before you started ruining it again, Gavin's like, Oh, it's crap. It's crap nothing. I will do it this time.

Right. I can't do it now. You're fucking asshole. Scrap, Selma. Why? Because I don't think it's... Have you seen it? No.

Nightcrawler? Not only the king. Yeah. Foxcatcher? Scrap it. American sniper? Not saying he wasn't a good guy. The Lego movie? Scrap it. No! Best Not saying he wasn't a good guy. The Lego movie?

Scrap it. No! Best part of all of those movies? Lego movie, I think was my favorite movie in the year. Alright. Alright, gone girl. Oh, gone girl was pretty good. Big hero 6.

Scrap it. You can't keep gone or Lego movie and big hero 6. Why not? Why not? Edge in a Morrow? Guards of Galaxy. Okay. Cool. What was... since I started last time you started this time, what was your favorite movie out of that list? I don't know. As you read it, I keep changing my mind. I guess, gone girl, but I don't think it was a great year for movies.

I've seen almost all of them, and I don't think it's... I'll bet it'll come out last year. Yeah, there's been this year, last year, and the year before. Yeah. But I guess it wasn't good enough to make the list. Okay. Not fuck that. I have some things to say about that movie.

What was your favorite movie? Edge Tomorrow. From that list. I didn't really see many of them. I don't know if we're gonna be agreed on this because I... it's between Lego movie and Gone Girl for me I think. I was thinking of changing my vote to Edged Tomorrow but if you go to Gone Girl I think you just gotta give it to Gone Girl then. I'll say Gone Girl yeah. I was gonna say Gone Girl the whole title. Okay cool. So Gone Girl which is available as an audiobook

from Audible.com. I want to see it. Oh, it comes out. It actually comes out on Blu-ray tomorrow. So if you listen to the audio, it comes out today. I think you could get it on iTunes though. Yeah, video on demand. You can already get it like iTunes. Xbox video. I think ever I change it on demand. Whenever that's all I order. Movie I really like though. I always wait and get the Blu-ray. I think we've talked about this before. Yeah, I just I just rent everything on Apple TV. I love to do the Blu-ray thing because I think the quality is so amazing. But I'm just so lazy.

Like, when I'm watching Comedy Central and back to the future comes on, I have the back to the future DVD. I can just watch it, better quality without commercials, when it's like, I don't want to get out. It's true. It's unbelievably lazy. Do you ever do red bucks? No, I have to go someplace and push some buttons. You could just get favorite to get you I Would mail you a DVD and then you could mail it back

I can't remember I could remember I could have sworn to total Rwanda, but that was Jason's movie so I was like Maybe I'm just like so how much of that movie cost you like 120 bucks. Oh, yeah It's super expensive once you get to the actual retail value of it. They stop charging you be in the own it I think once you hit 25 or 30 dollars. No, we're talking about Netflix Okay about red box. Yeah, yeah, it's just a blaze-based subscribe. I realized I spent $310 on a game attack How'd that happen? Well, before my Xbox account migrated from a UK account to a US one, I made a separate US one,

so I could play games here. And I could just call it Gav-N-D-USA, like Alley G and D-USA. Make fun of it. And there was an offer at the time for like, you get one month for one dollar, so I was like, easy, do that. Forgot about it, they. They then auto renews to $10 a month and I forgot about it for three years And I realized I spent like 300 bucks in this thing. Did it not charge like do you not see a charge for it every month? On would you see a ten dollar? Someone who looks at their credit card statement

Well, I know I do but would you notice a ten dollar charge on your thing and be like yeah Yeah, especially this from Xbox. I would just assume it's like some DLC I Would it I just didn't see it was 10 bucks. I didn't really look at $10 charges. I do now Those are the most dangerous kinds, but I was on the phone to Microsoft I was like what is this and they're like oh you have another account. I was like oh yeah I was like well, I haven't used it since like June of 2012 So could you just refund the months? I didn't use it since June of 2012, so could you just refund the months I didn't use it?

I would like, it was a long shot. They were like, one, we don't have a way to see whether you used it or not. I call bullshit on that. They absolutely can. And two, they were just like, no, we don't do that. It's funny, you say you didn't look at $10 charges one time. I, um, it was also my credit card. I typically look at my Debt my current account, but obviously that's my whole month's worth of credit card charges go down So I didn't see it. I have a my that's credit card that I use. I try to run all my charges through it So it's like whenever I buy something I was trying to use the same credit card and While we were down at the old office one day. I was stopping by summer when coffee Get coffee in the morning Four bucks or whatever so I give him my credit card and swipe it like your cards decline

I was like that's weird. So I gave him like my debit card or something and paid for it. And I called the bank. I called credit card issuer. And I said, you know, I just tried to use my credit card and it was declined. They said, oh, yeah. At 4.30 this morning, did you buy something on Yahoo for $1? And I was like, no. They said, okay, yeah, that was a suspicious charge we thought, so we locked your card.

We've canceled it now. We'll check your new one. They do a dollar charge to test the card to see if it actually works. Whoever is stealing the credit card information. Why wouldn't they just go all out on the first page? Because I think they want to test it first and not just try to buy something and get...

Or maybe they test it to make sure it works and then they sell the credit card to someone else like the credit card data Um my bank caught like somebody using my card. I didn't know about it because they kept trying to use it but I literally like I literally had no money in the account Like I owed money to the bank and they were like we figured that you wouldn't be trying to charge this since you like Are completely broke I owed money to the bank and they were like, we figured that you wouldn't be trying to charge this since you like are completely dead. Yeah. One time I went to put gas in my car and I pulled up to the gas pump, got out,

swiped my car and it's like, select your fuel grade, like regular and let it, put the nozzle in my car and squeeze and nothing. No gas comes out, nothing, just zero. Didn't even get a like, nothing. It was like, fuck. Yeah, not even the gross sound that no gas pump ever makes. So like, it's just zero, zero, like, fuck.

And I'm not like really put off by it. So I'm like, I guess this gas pump doesn't work. And like, you know, hit the lever, put the thing back in, pull it drive around to the other side, go to the other one, put my card in, decline. I'm like, what the fuck? They call the bank and I'm like, what happened? Like I just tried to put gas in, the pump didn't work,

everything was fine, came to the other pump and now my card's declined. Like, oh yeah, we see that sometimes people will do that to test to see if a card works, they'll go to a gas station, swipe it at the external pump, just to make sure it works and then they know that they're working. Is it so inconvenient?

Just the world has become so inconvenient that there's so many preventative measures because other people are also. Yeah. Yeah. The all-life is just like mildly inconvenience. But still, it's annoying. It's annoying. It's annoying.

Because I need a gas. I couldn't go on with my day and I'm like, well, fuck, now I'm going to be on a hold for 10 minutes. Someone's going to answer the phone. And it's like, if the pump had just had a sign that's it out of order or if it had just worked like it's fucking shut up, I would have just would not have been a problem. I don't think there's any worse feeling than being at a

check out somewhere like at a grocery store and realizing either your car doesn't work or you don't have your card with you. And then you're just like, uh, this is really bad. Sorry. What are you guys doing? Can I bag stuff for you for like an hour? I'm working in a supermarket and I never was told what to do in that situation. I see you just put everything to the side and I went from the come back or they'll just leave and you'll get it restocked up.

I assume. Yeah, you just leave it there and walk away. Yeah, it's even more awkward now with the bag ban in Austin. There's like, we have all these ships already in your bags. You're like, oh, I need those bags. And you put it out and give me the bags. I mean, you take it and put it back. You should go do that with just like a bunch of condoms and lube.

Oh, it's pretty cool that people just bag up with that. Sorry. Do they not do that? You can? I've never done that. Just bag it yourself. It's really rare that I feel like that happens anymore. It used to be, I felt like every lane had someone to bag. Do they not do that? You can? I've never done that. Just bag it yourself. It's really rare that I feel like that happens anymore.

It used to be, I felt like every lane had someone to bag. And now, now what I do is- That was like one bagger for like four of them. What I do is I try to be kind of tricky about it. I whenever I go grocery shopping with my wife, I'll let her kind of go out and make it look like she's by herself. And then someone will come help her start bagging and then I go in. Why? Like that way she can go out and help with the like she's by herself and it's someone who'll come help her start bagging and then I go in. Why?

Like that way she can, there was someone who can come and help with the bag in the process. And they'll do it. It works every time. And then I show up like, oh, okay. One thing I've noticed here is that if you buy a snack that you don't bag it, they hand it to you. Like I bought M&Ms because I wanted them later and they're like, here's your M&Ms. I was like, I'm not eating them in the store. What are you, what are you talking about? Did you buy other stuff too or bought M&Ms because I wanted them later and they were like here's your M&Ms I was like I'm not eating them in the store. What are you doing for me?

Did you buy other stuff to or just M&Ms? No I bought other stuff. Well it's in the impulse aisle they probably figure you want it right then. I don't. What's the thing? They always... They always ask me. Like if I get gum or something or a bottle of water they'll be like do you want this or

you want me to bag for you. So the effort just to pull out of your own bag is less than having to deal with that interaction. Yeah, but you don't know what bag it is. Do you have multiple bags? All right. Yeah, just look away. Get some of it. Get some of it.

All right, best internet video. Let's get through the shit. Do we vote on the movie? Oh, we did. We did. Congratulations. I'm sure David Fincher was watching Eager to hear the results.

Man, fucking boyhood cleaned up at the Golden Globes last night. Props, they get a shout out to Austin too in the acceptance speech. This whole facility wouldn't be here without Richard Linclair. Was it filmed in Austin? Yeah, in Austin and then outside on the outskirts of Austin. Why would you be without him? Brandon. Oh.

Back in grocery. Yeah, back in grocery store. What are you gonna do after this after this podcast or like after this job? Fran's gonna work here forever. Don't you know that I'm gonna die in a corner somewhere That's the dream. Why the why the skills do you have? Um Not many What I'm genuinely asking okay, we know Gavin's other skills. He's fucking worked at a grocery store

That's what he's gonna do is gonna go stock produce No, Gavin's probably the only one I could actually get a like a good job outside of here doing your Camera work. Well, I mean, everyone can go back to their old job. I guess yeah, you could do that. Can you? My old job was nothing Yeah, but you have a degree. Can you? My old job was nothing. Yeah, but you have a degree. Did you welcome bugging? I worked at a bird king in a movie theater. And then I worked for alumni association for my college.

Does that mean you just call alumni and press the message? No, I would help. No, it's a Burger King at the alumni. I would do that. That's what it is. I'm here. He said, you have to tell me when it... I'm impressed, that was really funny. I missed it. I missed it too because he was asking me a question.

You listen to the audio now. I feel sad that you have to tell me if I make a good joke. But don't you feel like good now that Gus approves? No, now I just feel inferior all the other times I see things. That's like winning an Oscar and being like, wow, the previous 20-70 is crap. I can't believe it. Thanks guys. Alright, best of you in that video.

Tiny hamster eating tiny burritos. Which is fucking great. What is a photocopier? Amazing. Bird says fuck you. I'll scratch that. Okay. I nominated that one. That's

a funny video, but I'll kill him. I can't. Let me see, laugh still. Cut. When I tweeted that, I think I tweeted dark wings, dark words. Which I thought was the best thing to say with it. You said we had great video today. The horse gets gas. This horse that had like a gastrointestinal problem and he couldn't fart normally. He has a lined up roll. Put it on. I can't find it right now. If you can find it, put it on.

I don't remember. Horse gets gas or something. He can't fart normally. So whatever he has to fart, he has to roll on his back. He's like rolling on the dirt Just farting. But it sounds like It sounds fake I still can't believe that's what a force fart sounds like is it called funny horse fart?

Is that the name? It's only like 45 seconds longer That's I know that funny gas holes God, there's a lot of Please eliminate stuff fucking asshole. Yeah, I got you tiny ham to this while we, uh. And then please, eliminate stuff. Fucking asshole. Yeah, I got you. Tiny hamstring, Tiny burritos. What is a photocopier?

Wisdom teeth, ice bucket challenge. No, get rid of that. Ah, hey that. You hate it. Uh, girl gets Wisdom teeth removed. Yeah, you can scrap that. No. That's a good one, but I'll scrap it.

No, don't scrap it. You gonna fight for it. Yeah, I'm a five foot. All right. Okay, five. What's mutant giant spider dog? Oh, yes. reporter quits live on air. Oh, thanks. That's crap. That's crap. Glow stick blows up in kids face. That one is amazing. The dangling line is what makes that little dangling. You're in your wonderful shirt. kiss I'll scrap that I think that's not great it was cute uh oh again or against uh first taste of chocolate and ivory coast I had not seen is this it I think this is it

it looks like it's buffer in though uh first taste of chocolate and ivory coast I hadn't seen that one until Bernie Sanders. That was a fucking great one. There it goes. Do you have sound? I don't know if we have sound. Oh! Ladies and gentlemen, this is why the internet was invented. Oh! Oh All right, that's a no that's not real. It's not real. Yeah, it just keeps going. I'm gonna do that tomorrow Roll on the floor like that first taste the chocolate and ibupost Patrick speaks, which is another fucking great video That's the death kid Oh, yeah, we was that again? The death kid. They teach him sign language. You know what we gotta get to funny with this award, though?

Well, the problem with those in particular, like First-Ace Chocolate and Patrick speaks as I think, they were actually developed for television programs. Right. So I don't know that they would necessarily qualify. Wimpy goat. It's also good. Cargo.

Humans need not apply How the sun sees you I? Told my kids I ate their Halloween candy you can scrap that yeah, it's crap that one The next one's the Lincoln ad parody with Jim Carrey And the cold burn it it's a broad day one. I was that video fucking great video love that video Do you want to pick your favorite out of that list? God. Top internet. Can you read the list on my top?

Read the list again. Read the list again. What we actually settled on, because we scrapped some. Tiny hamster eating tiny burritos. What is a photocopier? Girl gets wisdom teeth removed. Mutant giant spider dog. Glow stick blows up in kids face. First taste of chocolate

and ivory coast, Patrick speaks, Wimpy goat, cargo, humans need not apply, how the sun sees you, Lincoln ad parody and Colburn idiots abroad. The photocopier one I think is probably definitely video of the year, because that is really clever and really funny. It's a fucking awesome video. I'm gonna vote for the photocopier one. When I watched it I didn't know that it was actually based on like a transcript. You did the opening slate that says this is based on a deposition. We started watching it. Okay. And then I went to the computer and I was like this is kind of dumb and then like it completely re-contextualizes the whole thing. It's really well made too.

Yeah I don't understand why the New York Times made it, but why don't I make why I haven't heard of more of the videos like this that they make Just so fun good. What about you get what you really like to the glow stick exploding But I'm gonna have to go so with the photocopier photo coffee. Yeah, right? I really loved the Girl getting wisdom teeth out and her mom like standing in front of her and talking about wanting white dick. But I guess I'll take the photocopier. I love the photocopier video, but I gotta go with Tiny Hamster eating. I knew it all.

That changed my life. It's little cheeks. Is what made it. No, what makes it is this guy? This is good. The chef who's like concerned, he's like watching with his hands up around his face, looking with a great concern. You saw the Tiny hapscher Thanksgiving right? Yeah, fucking awesome. I think it'd be really delicious to swallow that like a pill

I would want to chew it. Oh, would you taste it at all if you just swallowed that that's the best part right there Also like that he doesn't like put the hamster at the table like the hamster wanders up there on its own like hamster it knows I changed my vote. at this cheek scandal puffed up can you imagine just taking a whole burrito and just shoving it like if you go to free birds and just get the burrito and just shove the whole thing in your mouth at once all right I changed my vote what do we do now it's time co-winners two winners yeah tie video the air time you have to get burrito show. What is a photocopier? I think my favorite thing you do is when you find something cute. You go, oh, look at it.

Look at it. I did that on my catalog. It's I will say that the sunscreen thing though. I think is the best PSA I've ever seen in my life. It made me want to wear sunscreen all the time. I don't think I saw that one. They take a camera that films an ultraviolet light and they show people their face. Yeah. Yeah.

And then they put sunscreen on, and it's like pure black. Well, the funny, the fucked up part was like all of the blemishes that you can see on people's faces that you can't see normally. It's like all the damage that's under the, what would you wear face that like? I would look like a 95 year old man like all like You have a guy on the sun though I figured like you'd look perfect I grew up on the border though dude I can

Grow up big Did you spend time outside? Yes, I was forced outside. It was no internet when I was, yeah. I was good at that. I won a lot. I don't remember my childhood being blurry until I started staring at the sun. In my defense, I was like three years later that I was not wearing gloves. I miss the heat.

I miss some so much. Everyone complains about the heat here. I miss the heat so much. I'd much rather have it be 45 degrees than... Or 100 and something is what word There's still translating for Lee Americans the thing they're doing crazy is that daylight saving times awesome I'm gonna summer like when we leave work. It's just like pitch black outside and I get super depressed I like when it's warm and sunny when I leave work. Yeah, it's just you know

I like leaving work and knowing that we can still go for swims. Yeah, hmm Can I come on it? Can I come? Yeah, you come so nice. Yeah, that's we pull right across to your from the office. Oh God. Oh, man That thing looks amazing. There's like water slides and there are people who take buses from like San Antonio I see those buses. It's fucking fluegerville It's like a fluegerville fuck out of here. Go back to fluegerville Every time we go to a fluegerville It's like why don't they like their school buses They're bringing kids down to use this pool. What's wrong with the pools in Flue reveal? What's that ever?

If you want to use the Austrian pools come live in Austin, right? My town didn't have a pool. Well fuck your town then To be fair Flue reveal is really good to us. You didn't go to another town swimming there pool, did you? I did Yeah, I went to Bista Bista Bista Bista yeah yeah how come you didn't get a pool in at your house I'm expensive I feel like that would have been a criteria for you I don't know I like other people's pools because I mean you have to maintain it I don't really want to be in a pool on my own yeah it's kind of boring I was that's I don't really want to be in a pool on my own. Yeah, it's kind of boring.

I was. That's the only way I want to be in a pool. I would just get drunk and drown. And then you'd be okay with it. What about a hot tub? Hot tub, I would get. Hot tub is nice. Yeah, especially you can go out in a hot tub and like,

it's just 30 degree weather. I have such big trees in my backyard and they just shed crap around. Put that cover over. If it's a hot tub though, it's only like that much water you need to maintain. It's true. Just like that. over. If it's a hot tub though, it's only like that much water you need to maintain. It's true. Just like that.

How much maintenance is in a hot tub? None. You just throw chemicals in there. Oh yeah. Yeah. Don't ever clean it. I live in a apartment but I want to get a hot tub. Just like all my balcony.

Be perfect. They're very heavy. Yeah. I was really used to bath. Are you going to move? Close to the office. No, not yet I'm too lazy to find an apartment and I like my place moving sucks Yeah, it's a word and the commute really not that you have to yeah, still sucks

Yeah, it's your full man is like you got a deal as like everything is up in boxes like where's my whatever? All right, I should just finish dump packing this weekend I find a pocket Housewarming party yet yeah you should can I can I come French on the side yeah just be around someone else when they get invited I know no yeah everyone's invited everyone who replies to my text is a viet joke on you I wouldn't go anyway why do you think it's a punishment would you really not show up like 20 you I wouldn't go anyway You think it's a punishment Would you really not show up like 20 minutes?

I don't know Whoa, I don't know Gus, I was so paranoid that when you moved into your house you had a house party but you like did not invite me You think Gus would have a house party? You had to think about this You were the house party before? At the old place I was renting, you're one of the few people who actually went to my last house Yeah, I've been there more than a few times

I've been there yeah but he you know I like I never had a full of people you don't like you mean yeah of course I never had a housewarming party never had a ton of people show up there about a folkroom night I was housewoman was it yep that was at the other place right wait what the folkroom that was when I was still renting before you lived here? Oh, that was the house where I cut my damn hand open on your dryer. There's a washer. Oh Jesus that one Bernie was wearing a bow and someone was riding him. Yes, Gavin was riding him I was wearing a leather jacket in a boa. Oh, you were wearing the boa

Okay, that makes sense. Don't know why what do you get bullies? I don't know I don't even know where that boa came from I had a bow in my house. Do you still have it? No someone showed up with a boa and you ended up wearing it on top of bird I'm like you sound a party. I got no idea where the fuck that came from and at the time You don't question it, you know? You know what you're getting a fogeye walks into your house at a party with a boy like all right I'm a rap pot You know what you're getting? If a guy walks into your house at a party with a boy, you're like, all right, well this is gonna be a wrap party. Hi, my alcohol from him.

Or a Christmas party. I was walking up to people and they were like, nice hat and I was like, what? And I realized I was wearing a tiny little top hat. Oh, from the photo booth? Yeah, yeah. Don't know where I got that, but that was. At the photo booth.

And I didn't go there until way after. Oh, maybe someone put it on you. Yeah. Maybe Ray put it on you when you walked away from me when I was in your face. That's all you didn't come to for me. Are there any more podcast awards? No, that's it.

Oh, sweet. We'll do a video game stuff on the patch on Wednesday. It's any fun off. It's not me. That wasn't me. That was me. Here, I'm going to read this other thing. When I wind everyone this episode of the podcast is brought to you by Squarespace.

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and to show your support for the rooster teeth podcast. Thanks to Squarespace for their support, Squarespace, start here, go anywhere. I can't believe, we're talking about how great it is to live in the future earlier, and people you can just like order shit on your phone. It's the same thing with like a service that pretty much makes a website free that looks awesome. Like when I first, like I was thinking the

other day about when I first used the internet and the first time I like I really used the web was like in 94 and that was like, I was like, I'm going to learn this. I'm going to be the guy who knows everything about this and And it's like, I learned how to make a web page and write the HTML into all that. And then you realize, this is a fucking pain in the ass. So it's like for four or five years. Like, I knew how to make websites and I would do it. And it was just like, this is so fucking tedious.

Yeah, I made complete shit websites. Yeah, they worked, but they were so ugly. Yeah, now it's just like, it's amazing, like how much easier it's just like, boop, boop, boop, boop. Yeah, this is like a free store. Oh, you want to start cool there? There you got it done. I appreciate websites that don't change there Like do you have a website you go to a pa is pa pal the same reddit

Yeah, always the same red is not that older like I go to a Speed demo archive a lot to watch speed runs of games. Mm-hmm lights. I used to watch them like 10 years ago The website hasn't changed ever In the whole time I've been using it. And it's like, oh, this is familiar. This is nice. Socks, sucks to use. Oh my god. This is great. You love it. Yeah, but oh my god. It sucks. It's no, you got to, like, right click and download every video.

You really? It's still like 28K modem speeds. It takes like forever to just like get to another web page They're not used to really suck. You see really slow. I I was thinking about that the other day I was like man I have been using the web for like over 20 years now. It's like the most of my life. I yes So fucking crazy to me the internet is good everywhere except inside achievement hunter The wife I sucks in that

good everywhere except inside achievement hunter. The Wi-Fi sucks in there. How much is it you would have been to put in a wireless router in there? Is that a lot of effort? I didn't get you one. How much wireless stuff do you guys use there? Yeah, don't you have a fucking computer right in front of you? Wi-Fi mobile phone.

Share the internet off of your computer. Share the... What? I'm sure you can do that. Yeah, you absolutely can do that. You never do that. I do it the other way I sham my phone to my laptop. Whenever I go to like on a trip and I go to a hotel, if I'm multiple, you know, and sometimes you go and it's like every device you connect is 12 bucks or whatever. If you have a laptop, you can just plug

the ethernet cable in and then share that connection from your laptop's wireless. I know. And you create a Wi-Fi hotspot off of your laptop, so then my phone and my iPad and everything else just connects to that Wi-Fi network. I've never done that before. I've never done that before. It's a sharing. I just got a 5K iMac. I saw.

Holy shit. The thing is, that's the nicest screen I've ever seen on a computer. I already have a big Apple Cinema display that I used to screen, I've ever seen on a computer. I already have like a big, like Apple cinema display that I used to use before. What? Okay, I already have that, but then I plugged this, so I got my eye-mect now in my other one, my old one, and like you can drag a window from one to the other. It's like, oh, it looks so good.

Ugh! It is like a really nice screen, but now I'm used to this retina display that's so high-res. You tweeted a picture and it had like the entire front page of Ruchit.com. Yeah because if you set the resolution like all the way up like one for one pixels yeah like an HD video is like on the massive screen. It's crazy. But I got it so I can edit more of my 4k phantom footage. Full K phantom footage. It's such a high resolution display. They can't

make a separate one like they have to have it built into the computer because they can't transmit that over Thunderbolt. Yeah, I think the Thunderbolt spec. Yeah, Thunderbolt is not far enough to do that. At 60Hz. We're still working on like six-year-old Mac towers. Who is? We are. I've got a brand new Pro bin.

I can brag about it. Can I have one? You have one. Yeah, just me though. Yeah, we got it so bad you know except me everyone else is. Those computers fucking suck the band the chess game. You're like a chess game. Fucking terrible. Oh, I like them. Why? Why are they bad? We've had maybe things are better now, but there's been nothing but complaints

about hardware problems with those things. It was an update, I've ranted about this extensively on the podcast where there'd be an update that breaks black magic and Adobe only. Yeah, we know that's not what we fucking rely on. They were made in America. Great. That's why they put that too. Like let's make them somewhere else where they have experience of making them. Where they can make them's make them somewhere else where they have experience of making them.

Where they can make them and make them work. Yeah. Fucking make them in America that cost twice as much and they fucking break. I like mine in some situations. I definitely wouldn't have spent like $8,000 on it though. Is that how much it was? I think mine was eight grand totally shit. Yeah.

It's good if you trick it into working how you want it to. But as a natural computer like if I just had that and that was my only computer I would kick it over Because it's frustrating and just doesn't work. It fails in very weird ways Like what like it'll just freeze. Yeah, yeah We have that problem just with like one particular piece of software, which I won't trash live on air But it like ruins my life every single day. Is it a Toby? Yeah? But it ruins my life every single day. Is it a Toby?

Yeah. I want Chris Johnner. I want Chris Johnner. Right now. Gus, have you talked about the light bulbs that you got? No, I think I talked about them briefly on screenplay a few weeks ago, but I've not mentioned them here. Why, then?

We're real fast. I should, I feel like I should mention that, yeah, screen, we decided to put screenplay on hiatus while we figure out what to do and retool that show. So it's not going to be an episode tomorrow. Maybe never again. We'll see. We'll figure it out. We'll work it on it. Yeah. But yeah, I got some Phillips Hue light bulbs, which if you've never seen before I get to that. This is what I was lacking at when you're telling your story.

Lauren Drew this, it says, was it you who peed? Ha ha, yeah. And then it's just picture-be-be-be- I cut from the picture to you. You are like matching the first panel with your face So I didn't I apparently these light bulbs have been out for a while and I just never get it out for over a year I've had him for a couple years. I'd never heard about him I don't I think I was at Best Buy and I saw like the in-store like display And I was like, oh what the fuck is this? And it's just light bulbs that you can control from your smartphone so that's not only just turning them on and off but adjusting the colors.

Yep. And you can set presets. And you can set presets so you can hit a button and they all do different things. I never popped my alarm when I live with Jeff like my my Rumba would start vacuuming to wake me up. I know my lights would come on like bright white. And I was like, uh, I'm up. And also you can, you can set, uh, what they call geofencing so that when you

get home or leave home, they turn on or turn off or do specific things. Yeah. You, uh, I wish the GFencing could be more strict, like room to room. But that would have to be like NFC or something. Well, every bulb already has a chip in it. You think that it would be able to detect your proximity to each of those. Yeah, I don't know why it can't do that.

Yeah, piece of shit. As soon as Gus told me, like, there were smaller bulbs because I thought you just get the huge ones. I went and I bought like six. And there's like all these third party apps that have like strobe mode, where it's just just like if you were having a party at like a club And then like there's other ones that You could play music through your phone and then just like time to the music. They're so awesome. Oh, that's wicked my wife

Made a vine showing them off So that's a lamp at your house Feel like I've been oh you put them in your ceiling. Yeah. Oh god Why I was better in my lamps. Yeah. Oh, God. Why? I was there in my lamps. Yeah, no, I went all out with them. Yeah, yeah. It's like, there's few things that make me feel like

I live in the future. Yeah, it's ordering food and booze on my phone, have someone bring it to me, and having my light bulbs change colors. Yeah, do you ever just let, you ever just sat in the couch with Esther, and then you just secretly put them to like a low red and you're like,

oh, constantly, red and you're like Do the eyebrows do you like I feel like low red is like murder light though. Yeah, there's Like the the color of passion. I would say like a deep purple Yeah, it's funny. We've settled on purple. We've settled on purple as well If you ever come up to my house and you see the purple lights from the outside don't knock Yeah, because I feel like purple would be not just come straight in purple as well. If you ever come up to my house and you see the purple lights from the outside, don't knock. Because I feel like purple would be... Don't knock, just come straight in. No, fucking take your shoes off, take your pants off.

That looks like murder. There's this one app that has these like video presets and basically what it'll do is take all your lights and they'll just fade in and out from like black or you know nothing to red except they're all timed like you know differently. So it looks like you're in the middle of PT or hell. Like it's absolutely terrifying. There's um... But yeah, they're super easy to use.

There's not any complaint, isn't it? They're not very bright. Yeah, even at their brightest, they're not super bright. I don't want them to be very bright, am I right? I think it's a side effect of the energy saving aspect of it, but there's one I have where there's a preset where you can specify an NFL team and anytime that team scores your phone will play like an air horn noise and then all your lights will start flashing that team's colors. Oh my god. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's not like immediate But it's like 30 seconds after they score your lights will go crazy

That's funny. I don't know how I started but Policaym home She saw like the light switch that I installed which is like you know even their light switches look really cool She's just like oh my god. What do you mean the store light switch? It came with a switch? Yeah, you can buy the little like switches I didn't know either until he told me it's just like immediate like you just press like a button I haven't in my little study room and I've just got my very first iPad nailed to the wall with that app I opened and always on. It's basically the most expensive light switch in the world. Have an iPad nailed to your wall? It's not like there's not a nail school. I know. I know. I know. But I mean it's permanently on your wall. Yeah. And it's always on and it's

because it's my old iPad. It's like, I can either sell this or make use of it somewhere. So I was like, I can use this as a light switch. God, God. Why don't you sell it? It's like a five year old. I need it as light switch. Well, how much can I get for an iPad one?

It doesn't even run iOS 7. Yeah, it's my, I have the same ones. Like iOS 5. Yeah, it's stopped. I think iOS 5, right? I'm super sick. The hue app even works on it. The current one doesn't, but the old, old one. But it's a light switch.

Even if you got $5 for it, it would be worth more than what you're using for. But it's useful to me as it is. Okay, before, it was just in a draw. Yeah, I guess. Now it's on a wall. I don't in a draw. Yeah, I guess now it's on a wall I don't see a problem with like recycling your old crap. Do you have an old phone anywhere? No Does it? Well, that's your you up. What is it with your old phone? I traded it in for a new phone

Oh, and then I get money for it. I didn't pay anything for this phone because I traded my old one Okay, does it look cool? Does it look like you just like plastered an iPad to the wall? Is there some like cool like apparatus or board? Yeah, how did you get it up there? You just, I'll see if I have a picture. I'm just putting nails like in the wall and then... I mean there is a nail in the wall. It's not like it doesn't touch the iPad. Yeah, that's like next step in like super computer house. Like everything that comes out I'm excited. It's like robot house to't touch the iPad. But yeah, that's like next step in like super computer house. Like everything that comes out, I'm excited. It's like robot house to make it more sophisticated.

And CES this year was like the connected home. Like everybody was introducing like all these new apps and ecosystems. But people just want less reasons to get up. And the problems I like all of these products. But I feel like we're entering this problem where it's like, oh no, that's the app for my lights. This is the app for my thermostat. This is the app like, why can't we just have one app to control all of this?

Why can't one company just make all of this and make it all well? The home kit, I think, right? Yeah, if things are home kit compliant. Like that's like a brand new thing, you know? Can you even nest at your new place? I do. I love the nest.

Sounds pretty good. Yeah. I think I told the story in the podcast, didn't I? Yeah, of you messing with Chris's. Yeah, Chris bought my nest, but he didn't change the password. So we were all out once and he was telling me, like, you know, it's just his roommate home,

so I opened it up and I like put it on like 130 degrees. Because that was how it goes. It shouldn't be, it shouldn't be able to do that. It'd be like, that's the way you damage your... I think the highest it would go would be like 80 I don't know Okay, it goes it goes probably to 90 I just I did this when we focus on the number Let me guess you were drinking. Yeah, we were we were all dream Christmas like just make sure you tell them that I didn't know about it Oops, it's cats out of the bag on that one. Yeah, a couple hundred thousand people know now.

Oh my god. No one tells Chris's roommate. This is the picture of the water in there. I was thinking of something like all the air on earth and all the water on earth and earth. That's really cool. It's pretty neat. Yeah, that's really awesome. It's pretty nifty. Oh, water. Why are there additional little circles by the water? Just make it look nice. It's stupid. Stylistic.

Those bubbles are huge. Ruins the scale. You know. What is that document? A gaven. A cunt get off it. Gaven's barely on airplay. So whenever we're sharing stuff with our phones and iPads, we mirror our displays.

Is it iPhone mirroring? It's still. Oh. And it doesn't always work well. So I figured you'd probably have like a mount or something. It's not just for the iPad. It's not just hanging there. I didn't find it.

Yeah, no, it's like a thing. It's like it hooks over the top and the underneath. It makes me think of whenever you go to Mighty Fine, the burger place here in town, they have like an iPad out there so that you can take pictures of yourself and post it to their Instagram. Do Do they yes, but it's always off Oh, and you like you it's not off. It's just like in power save mode. Why haven't we done that? You can totally do it every time I every time I go now I try to do it

You just have to hit like the home button and it turns on And I feel like it's like the most useless thing they could just disable power save and then people would use it But as it is right now, it's like it's it looks like a broken iPad. That's just hanging Everyone just walks right by it There's like this coffee shop back at the old office that has an Apple TV and they just keep like the screen saver on But you connect to their Wi-Fi you can like screen share with it and it's like no man should have this power Like I have to like stop myself from putting like yeah right Just fuck everyone's meal up

God I can't go back there because of that What did you do? No, I can't trust myself. Oh You give me a devious look Hey me. Yeah. Oh, no. Okay. I was just me. Oh, no. Okay. So I did something for I can't remember the last time I did this earlier today. I was like, I'm going to start, you know, 2015. I'm going to be better about things. I'm going to be more proactive about figuring out who's on the podcast. If you would be like, my mom, I don't email for next week's podcast already. Most people who were watching the podcast don't realize it, but normally it's not until like Friday night or Saturday, when I'm like, ah fuck, I got to ask people if they can

be on the podcast. So it's like over the weekend, right before the podcast, I'm trying to schedule people. I don't see a problem with that though. Trevor, that time you didn't email me and I went home and you were like, where are you? Yeah. So that's why I'm like, I'm gonna be better. I'm gonna start emailing people like a week or two in advance to try to get it all scheduled.

Well, that's nice of you. Yeah, it's just, I'm, I hate that sick feeling on the week and like, oh, shit. I just figured you waited that long because what if something happened during that week that you'd want someone on the podcast for it? Nah, fuck that. How many weeks ahead do you have?

Who's on in like, oh, one week. Who's on next week? I know, I'm not exciting. How much decision goes into deciding who's on the podcast? I think about it a bit. Yeah. I think I asked, well, I don't want to say, because in case they say no.

Oh. Yeah. Well, we know you have gathered. So yeah, I did ask out. Because Gary ruined it. Are you available? I am, yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah, we know you have gathered. So yeah, I did ask out. It's a scammer on it. Are you available? I am, yeah. Okay, cool.

Yeah, I'll be there. What are you doing to fancy and build podcasts next week? No, she's been on a couple weeks in a row. Yeah. So, I wish you could give her a break. extend me too much. Let her go home.

You got a long drive, a long commute. Thank you, Gus. So thoughtful of you. I have a lot of guardian applications to read. I feel like lately I've been paranoid when I'm driving at night in Austin because you know, there's that thing where they haven't caught the guy, but there's a guy who's been throwing rocks off of the upper deck onto the lower deck. No. So like, I used to always take the lower deck because I the upper decks for suckers Ever since this guy has been started throwing this I only take the upper deck I stood up there. Yeah, I don't know they assume that he gets up there and he just finds like a big rock

And there's a guy who's like still in intensive care. Yeah, I emailed like all the live action guys about it And I was like don't take that up or don't you lower deck and I was like email everybody I'll say no to pop it look now for his people yeah so I like I'm really paranoid about like driving on the I drive on the lower deck every time yeah take the upper deck I mean I think it only had I think every time it's happened it's been like it it's really late at night after 2 a.m. like 3 or 4 in the morning

but still I'm just taking no chances what What if that guy watches our podcast? They're not fucked. No, he can't do anything to the upper deck. There's no upper upper deck. Well, I still take the lower deck. It sounds like you're challenging him, guys. I just throw them off. But it's always funny to me to hear the police like when they talk about it or when they talk about how they're looking for the guy. We've been canvassing the area talking to like all the area homeless. They've been giving us a lot of tips. It's like how fucked up is your investigation if you're relying on the homeless to be your eyes and ears and tell you what's going on. It's tough because like you want to tell people what happened obviously and you know

maybe somebody did saw see somebody with the big rock but I almost feel like you don't want to put that idea in people's heads. Because there could be a lot of people like, oh, I never thought I'd do that. Yeah, I think I'll give that a shot. That's in chaos. Yeah. And it's a tear. When it first happened, you know, and that guy went to intensive care, they talked about it a lot. And then they stopped talking about it. They didn't mean him right in the head. Yeah.

Yeah, it was bad. He was going like 70 and uh. Did he go through his windshield? He went through his windshield and through his head. Oh my god. And uh, they apparently apparently were still going on, but they just weren't reporting on it until like months later. Oh really?

They were like, listen, that guy's still out there. We really need help in finding him. Yeah, bricks don't mess around when it comes to a windscreen. Yeah. It's nuts. Now it does a clip online of, it's a dash cam. And there's a truck coming the other way with a bunch of bricks on it and a brick from that truck just goes like just comes off and goes straight into the into the dude's camera and I think it kills the person in

the passenger seat you don't see it but you hear his reaction and it's just like oh that must have been like a bullet down into whoever's head that was there's another dash cam video I saw a few weeks ago this guy just Driving down the road. I think it was in college station It's like three lanes in each direction. He's driving. There's an intersection coming up the light and It's red. He's slowing down and then from the other direction. You see there's a cement mixer That's just like weaving. I guess it didn't see the red light in time. It's going through the intersection. Kind of rolls over on its side and you can tell it's dead on, but then the camera just cuts out. Oh, and the guy lived. But they're interviewing him.

He's like, yeah, I don't remember anything. He's like, I remember driving down the street and then I woke up and I was in the hospital. He's like, and then I watched the dash cam. I thought, wow, I saw that. That's nuts. Did you see the clip? I'm not sure if it was a real clip, but it's one of the dash cams of that comment that happened in Russia last year. I don't think I get no fucks. Yeah, no, no, no.

There's another camera looking at him, and the light from the comment is shining in his eyes, and he just pulls down the sun by the way. He's just like, he was going like, whatever. There was a, the other day there was a meteorite somewhere, I can't remember where it was, but it went through, so maybe it was somewhere in Romania. It went through like at four or five in the morning,

you know, middle of the night, still pitch black outside. And you can see you can watch the comic come from a bunch of different security cameras. And it turns the night into daylight for like two seconds. Yeah, that's crazy. It's like so bright and everything just like pops into view for just a little while. I've seen lightning do that a lot. Yeah, lightning is good at that.

Which is lights up the entire city. The really crazy one that we have in Austin recently. I don't know why we've been having a lot of thunderstorms. And it's awesome. We've got a little crazy lightning. I already want to film a lightning bolt. Slowed down. It'd be really cool. I'll be taking a while to find out. Well, I guess if it's like. He's got a little crazy lightning. I really want to film a lightning bolt, slow down, it'll be really cool. But we'll take you a while to find out.

Well I guess if it's like a lightning bolt. If you have that flashlight burning head, you could light that up perfectly. We'll do a lightning, we'll do a final light. Imagine you going out every time it rains with like a big metal rod. Come on. Lightning's weird in slow motion. It comes up from the bottom right from the ground. It sends down a bunch of them. And first one hits the ground shoots up and that's like the one you see.

It's pretty crazy. Have you ever been close to a lightning strike? Yep. The closest was when I was with you and it like struck right next to home slice. Oh right, right, I forgot about that. It was really loud. It was loud shit. It was like a bus crashing into the home slice.

What about you? It was actually this year, or I guess last year, technically, my apartment complex right in the parking lot. I was walking from my car to my apartment, and there was a lightning strike, probably about 30 to 40 feet away from me. Did you feel the fizz? I felt like heat almost from it, and I like all the ground there was like a little bit

of like a scorch mark. It was terrifying. Now and ever there's a thing to my, I was run from my car to my apartment. What about you Brandon? No fuck, I don't mess around with that. Yeah, you don't mess around with it, but you can still be close to it. No, never. I get fucking all ass inside.

Stay inside, order and save. Yeah, I am not. Yeah, I'm not going to get struck by lighting. That fucks you up. Also can kill you. Yeah, so it usually kills you, I think. Does it usually kill you? Yeah, I think it usually.

Oh, I heard like, maybe if you don't die, it messes up your body like crazy. Like you become a superhero. That's spot about to. What do you become a superhero. Spider-Man too. What do you call a thing where you can't get a wreck? Where? The condition where you can't get a wrecked, like you can't get turned like...

Oh I thought you said a wrecked like a wrecked... I thought you said a wrecked like a wrecked shouldn't I think. You get a... Yeah, you can't... You're an impentant. Yeah, impentant. Oh. I thought you meant like you can't actually sit up right

I've been close to lightning like in my car like you know Yeah, like across the street and then that one time at home slice. We were really close to it And I told the story fairly recently on the podcast Well, no, we're flying from Wellington to Brisbane lightning struck right outside the plane where I was sitting Oh, that's terrifying. And it's like you said I felt the fucking heat. Yeah, it's lightning struck right outside the plane where I was sitting. Oh, that's terrifying. And it's like you said, I felt the fucking heat. Yeah. And it's like, you're in the plane in bad weather.

Don't want to feel it then. You don't want to see that then. People were fucking screaming on that plane. Really? Yeah, it was bad. There was a plane, I think it was in Austin, when they were taking off birds, went into the engine, and people saw, saw like the engine on fire. Like there were like flames coming out of it.

Did it go out at some point or did it? Did they have the land? It still worked and they landed fine but like it's sitting there and like seeing like the engine on fire I would just check out. I would at that point I wouldn't even be scared I'd just be like you just come to terms with death. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah cuz it's like if you be on just a big donkey in the sky. Yeah, yeah, because it's like if you be on just a big donkey in the sky I just be like well, that's it like I think anything else happens in a plane like a bad turbulence You start like weaving you're like, okay, maybe I can make it things also, but if engines on fire

No, not even gonna get upset. There's a video posted online recently of a plane that was landing and that guess the landing gear Got stuck it was out and the wheel was turned sideways Instead of the way it would roll and There's a bunch of like news about it and they had firemen all over the runway to you know Put out the fire that would be the plane crash and the pilot landed it perfectly where he landed wheels down first For as long as he could hold it and then like slowly put it down to the point where it just skid on the runway. It was, I got sweaty watching it. I know that.

I was so nervous for these people. They were watching it. They were watching it because they have direct TV. How many pants were shot during that moment? I feel like you don't need to shoot pants if you're running running away. We're going to circle. Yes, we are. We can control room. Just point out we're full circle. There's a, you know, you talked about how the landing gear was turned the wrong way. You know, I'm a big plane enthusiast and I learned some.

Plane crash enthusiast. I learned, I've played, too. I love planes. I learned something over the weekend that I didn't know. You know, the B 52 is that giant bomber that the US flew a lot during the Cold War. They always had them in the air. You know, that way they could drop nuclear bombs for whatever reason. Well, apparently this plane is so massive that it was very difficult to land in turbulent conditions.

And it had a classified feature. That was classified for a long time, apparently, where they could, the pilot went on approach to land could dial in the heading of the runway and the wheels would turn. That way, the wheels would be straight on the runway, even if the plane was coming in at an angle. Oh, that's insane. So it could land like this. Yeah, they call it crabbing. And it could essentially roll sideways down the, down a runway. That's crazy. That's also cool to see. Yeah, because apparently it was like, without that feature, it would be like nearly impossible to land in windy conditions. Yeah, that's nuts.

And then I started looking it up and there's videos of it that you can see, there's like at an air show, by people are like, at this one video I saw, at an air show, everyone's like looking in one direction, looking at these planes in the ground, and in the background, there's a B-52 going like sideways down the road, like, there's no one turning around, but looking at that, 52 going sideways like Tokyo Drift for Apple like that's the only weird. They're just racing around the track. Alright well it's about time to wrap up. Cool.

So we got a call of quits. So I want to say thanks everyone for watching. We back on Wednesday you can watch us ham and ha about the best games of the year and argue about that. And we'll see you then. I'm a little unnerved that we're not in the wide. There we are. And so thanks for watching. We'll be back next Monday on the other episode of the podcast. I love you. Welcome to the RISG's podcast. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it's, it's, it's, it Podcast! Fade! Fade! Podcast! Podcast!

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