Rooster Teeth Podcast - RT Podcast #314

Episode Date: March 10, 2015

RT Podcast discusses meeting in-laws. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers will learn that an Anthony Mackie comes a new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-octane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motormouth outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland. If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church. Twisted metal, streaming now now only on peacock Wow hello everyone welcome to the received podcast are you there most punctual start to a podcast ever this week We were one second second late. This week brought to you by Dollar Shave Club

and Squarespace, where my graphics at. There they are. Dollar Shave Club, Squarespace, point up Chris. Squarespace, there you go. One more about them later. Gav, you almost take out your penis every week. You just, it was out, you just insist. No, what, come on, like, fucking do, I'm tight.

Is no one else, like just, you got blue balls? Yeah, you do it. How okay you this week this week This week's podcast we're gazing for Chris like what how much money would it take for you to do a gay thing? Oh, man, we talked about this. It depends which gay thing Not in the ass. That's not a bad. It's going out. So I wait, how much?

That's the thing. That's the idea to agree that. That's when it doubles. No, no, no, no. Speaking of butts, Brandon did something very nice for me a little earlier today. What? It's not in the ass. I was before the podcast started.

I was heading out to use the bathroom over the bungalow. I crossed the brand in the parking lot. He's like, hey, he goes, hey, you go into the bathroom in there? I go, yeah, I'm gonna do my business. He said, make sure you use the second one. Don't go into the first one. I was like, all right, thanks man,

I appreciate that. You have some issues in there? No, I just got back from it. So you saw, you didn't. Oh no, I wrecked. I wrecked shop. Yeah. I was at the, this is gonna be the way to Segway ever. I was at the liquor store earlier. And is that boost? I saw this. It looked like a big bottle of water. Yeah.

But it's a big bottle of soju, which is a Korean liquor. I think you've got that in your house. Yeah. Yeah. This is not the brand I think. Oh, it's a bit of a hoax. This is not the brand I normally drink. Chum Churum. What would you like some chum Churum? I would very much like some. Did you just buy it because of the name? I bought it because it's this fucking plastic bottle.

If you're listening to the audio version, this is like like a one liter, one and a half. No, it's a 1.75 liter plastic bottle. It looks like it's water, but it's filled with alcohol. Do you imagine being really thirsty? And I feel like that's just how you get a track runner drunk. What's the percentage on that? 19.

Bug me. Oh, that'll ruin your life. I had some leftover cups from this past week. Basically like a ball of poison. It is. Have you ever woken up the morning and grab some water after like you know night of drinking before and The water is actually vodka. No, but you just like jog like and it's just is a cup. We've done it after running like I ran back to my Why would you have just liquor hanging out?

Why is it whenever whenever it was under 21 and I had to hide it So I had a water bottle of vodka. This smells like every clear already spilled it I didn't so these these cups were from on the spot I didn't realize it when I bought them but apparently they've got like little shot glasses in the middle So you could pour a shot if you wanted to I have to take a little sombrero or something. Yeah, it's like a reverse a br. So, cheers, chums. It kind of tastes like water. It does taste like that because it's in, no, no, it really does.

Is it any good? No, it tastes like a, it's so sexy, so I'm just like slightly alcoholic water. Yeah, it's my normal brand, but it'll do. It'll get the job done. You ever had soju before? No. It's really good. It's really easy to drink.

Kind of sake-esque. I think they're both Say, I think they can be made from rice. I think this one was made from sweet potato. Oh So spirits distilled from sweet potato and alcohol. They're distilled spirits from alcohol But you can make you can make anything alcohol. It could be just ferment it right I think that's our sugar, right? But like any sort of organic matter, right? Well, you can get like a carrot. Or I was gonna say like a, if you fermented like a human arm.

Oh, they say a baby. Why, why did you go to baby? Well, is human arm is that really more normal than a baby? Well, what the fuck is wrong with you? Both of you. That's not how the polka us is weird. Yeah, I'm glad you're on my side over here.

It's you, geez. I don't know that you can make alcohol for many things. I saw something on Reddit a couple of weeks ago where during pro-abition, some company would mail, if you ordered it, they would mail you basically like a brick of concentrated grape juice, along with like water and a package of yeast, and instructions that said do not combine all of this and store it for three weeks otherwise it'll become alcoholic. Which is like the, the, the, it's funny the work around people will, will develop to get around laws that they don't agree with.

It's funny to think about the stuff that would have topped Reddit, but in the past, before Reddit. That would be at the top. Yeah, make your own wine. That would be viral, for sure. Viral. They have Reddit from the 1900s, or sorry, from like, 1910s.

Yeah, it was called the Newtons paper. No, no, no, I'm serious. They have fake Reddit forums where people just post funny stuff as if it was that year. Right? That's a thing. No, no, no, I'm serious. Like they have like fake Reddit forums where people just post like funny stuff as if it was that year, right? That's a thing. That doesn't sound very funny. Dismissed. See, oh yeah.

Just like, I can't picture it. It's like when Bernie does his old time, you boys. Like, oh, okay, yeah, it's a little funny and then it just gets old. Bernie's not here today, so I figured we can make fun of him. So he's like Holy. He was supposed to be in the podcast today. Thanks, figured we can make fun of him. So he's Paul Ernie. He was supposed to be in the podcast today, thanks Brandon.

You were a lot of fun. Thank you, let everybody know. I know that. I'm going to be a little bit of a villain. He was supposed to be in the podcast today. But this afternoon, he decided he was feeling too sick. He was too under the weather. To be fair, he just did three night shoots.

Didn't you just do three night shoots? Yeah. But I didn't take sick days. Never have. Are you sick? No. I saw a picture of you past. It looked like you were passed out like at four in the morning. Well, with my face or squash.

Yeah. Oh, no, Michael showed me another one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your face looked like... The one where I'm like slumped in the helmet. No, yeah, yeah. It looked like you from the Rainbow Six Let's Play. We're like, let. Except your eyes were

closed. It was, it was tired. Do you acknowledge being sick or do you feel like you live in denial when you actually are ill? No, I just, you know, you ignore it. I've never been sick enough to take a day off. I've never in my life had a sick day for anything really. Except it was like physical element. I missed a bit of school when I Smash the back of my head. I went blind. I assume you probably missed work or school or something when you had to have your ball surgery No What you just you're asked you just because I happen on Christmas day so I was off work anyway. Oh And then you were like when was your next day of work was probably like five days later?

I still just what weekends. Oh, okay. Yeah, so you looked out Yeah, I feel like a ball injury is definitely the kind of thing that would keep you out of work When was your next day at work? Probably like five days later. I used to just wear weekends. Oh, okay. So you looked out. Yeah, I feel like a ball injury is definitely the kind of thing that would keep you out of work. Yeah. I would have taken, there was a time recently where I was absolutely sick. I had food poisoning, but it was right in the middle

of a big scene in laser team. And I couldn't take it off because you were like screw the whole shoot. It's like a big, big dial today. So I just went in and I was just packing my space suit with a ball girl and stuff. I try not to take sick days, but I feel like every now and then every like every couple of years something will happen that will make me sick for like a week and I can't get

out of bed. And then I like it's I'm just forced to not come in a word. Do you know what Jack's doing tomorrow? He's having a personal day. What does that mean? Well, he's just it's the day after a convention. So he's like, I'll take it day off. I was here for like six weeks straight. Do you remember like three years ago?

It's like every morning I'd wake up with a fever and slowly as a day goes on that I'd be like, yeah, it's like shiver Like I like why are you shaking at the desk? Yeah, and I want to for like a year. Yeah. No, it was a general time And then I went to the doctor and I'm like, what's wrong with me? They're like, uh, it's you know viral and I was like, what it's like just give it some time. It's viral It'll be at the top of red it tomorrow And it's like can't you just give me something just tell me that there's an antibiotic There's something to cure and give it to me because I got that's it means I don't know that's some saying I don't know what it is. Yeah, did you did you anybody here see the Vice Special episode documentary about curing cancer? I guess it aired like two weeks ago and it's like a 40 minute long piece.

It was on HBO and they talk about how there's researchers in the United States. I forget it everywhere. One of them was at the Mayo Clinic. One of them was at the MD Anderson Center in Houston and another one was in, I want to say Pennsylvania somewhere, but it's like these different these different doctors who are doing this research where they are taking diseases to kill cancer in the human body. So like one of them had manipulated the genetic makeup of smallpox and was infecting people with this genetically modified smallpox to remove the cancer from their body

So it's like the clock fighting for diseases. Yeah, so one of them was using smallpox one of them was using I forget what it's called the like the adenovirus. It's what causes the cold and the other one was using HIV Self getting getting AIDS so that you didn't have cancer and it was really remarkable The I want to say the ones that were using HIV were at the Mayo Clinic. That could be wrong on that. But they showed this case. I want to say this little girl was eight years old.

It had leukemia. So they gave her this genetically modified HIV. They injected her with it. And they said that she developed like a fever of 105 for like a month. And they was pretty much like Bedrin couldn't do anything, just completely non-functional for a month and they was pretty much like bedridden couldn't do anything just completely Non-functional for a month and that after the month her leukemia was gone

Ballacks and then and that was like I want to say that was like four or five years ago and that she's just totally That's I'm a little burnt out on like cures first stuff, you know First like I'm sick of all these people surviving cancer. No, no, no, no, no I don't mean like that. I mean as in I've heard people say like oh, yeah Like I've seen like those news posts. It's like possible cure for cancer or cure for HIV It's always like some post about like someone who might have gotten the cure But it's never that's somebody air You think everyone's like I've read at least five stories about the cure for HIV, like, possibly.

You gotta keep people optimistic. Yeah, but it's like. Well, in this case, it's three different groups approaching it three different ways. Yeah, but. So how did it work? Did it just like the leukemia was just like, oh, this, you got AIDS on out of it.

Well, no, apparently what they would do is they would modify, like they talked really in depth about the smallpox ones. I can talk a little more intelligently, intelligently about that one, but they modified the genetic makeup of the smallpox so that it wanted to bind to cancerous cells, like the protein that it would bind to was the protein that was found in a cancerous cell but not found in a normal cell. So it would go in, it would bind to them. And when it would do that, normally I guess cancer always tries to suppress your immune system,

so your immune system doesn't fight it. So when the smallpox would attack it, it would alert your immune system to the cancer as well. I'm gonna say, come check this shit out. Then the smallpox would make copies of itself and then just make the cancer explode with more smallpox, which would then go into other cancer, call the immune system and then explode with more smallpox, which would then go into other cancer Call the immune system and then explode with more smallpox like battle bots

I love the idea of it being a lot of like a lot in the body to the cancer side. Have you seen this shit? It's like 911 you know, hello immune system. Hey, we got some cancer down here That's like a robber breaking into someone's house and seeing like a fire and being like, uh, yes Yeah, this house I'm breaking into. You might want to come check this out. Would you do that if you're breaking into a house? You know, I probably would. No, because it would destroy the evidence. Yeah, but I feel bad.

I guess you'd really want to be in the deep anyway. You've got all their stuff. There's no way if you were caught that they wouldn't do you for us. But let me tell you this, if you stole the stuff you'd be doing them a favor. Can you just, can you just, can you just destroy it anyway? It's like it's gonna be destroyed, at least you'll get some use.

Yeah. So you're like, yeah, it's like you see, so is that okay, if you see it house burning down, it's okay to go, just break, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, can't just be used. People will think that you're helping, like trying to get valuables out,

yeah, just put them in the car, put them in the car. Great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great the car put him in the car. All right, I'm gonna go I'm taking this somewhat colder So yeah, it's absolutely it's absolutely okay then yeah But doesn't what the other way around? Like if you see someone robbing the place and you just burn I actually trying to burn down the robber I just want to burn the robber down It's okay if you see like bugs in the house, meaning it burn it down.

Are you grossed out by bugs at all? No, our cockroaches a bit weird, but I'm okay with that. Your broaches in the UK? Oh really? They broached everywhere I thought. But they're not like here where they're all fucking huge and disgusting. Nah. I mean, I've ever since I put a cup on one and it started running around with a cup on top of it,

I've been pretty grossed out by it. Couple of dixie cups just... That's like battle bots. Yeah. Why is that process making it gross? Because they're powerful enough to do. It's an intimidating thing to... I don't know, I haven't put a couple of many things.

A fish probably would get the cup off. What about a kitty? No. Someone just said a battle box. Who is this Spartan smile? Said instead of battle box, it should be battle box. Oh, which is pretty good. So nice one.

Thanks Spartan smile for that. Did anybody else watch the Apple press conference? No, I don't know any sort of body. Yeah, what was the news? New. You're making a watch. Yeah, I don't know anything about it. Yeah, what was the news? New. You're making a watch. Yeah. We're not trying to.

Yeah. Okay, yes. So let me let me let me let me let me let me let you all watch it. Don't say just say. Okay, so I'm going to run a little experiment with Gavin here. So you don't know anything about it. They announced three different watches, like three different tiers. How much do you think an Apple watch would cost?

Which one? Say the lowest tier. Uh, 300 bucks. Pretty close. 349. Oh wow. So what was taking way more? What would you think for like a mid tier starting price? 500? Pretty close. 549. A mid tier. Two ads. I just got to add 49 to all my guesses guesses top tier. How much is the most what price does the most expensive? $5,049. What do you say? Oh? Well, my initial guess was the low cheer was 800 So I don't know. I mean, I guess yeah, 5,000 sounds right starts at $10,000. Wow

So why not just buy a Rolex? It goes up to $17,000 well option is 17 grand. It's just like a different. I think it's just like a different It's just gold right? It's like you're just buying jewelry at that. Yeah, but if you buy a cheap expensive one 349 it's oh what's it made out of no, what's the one this? What the 349 one what was the one that wasn't the most expensive 49? It's 349 5 549, $10,000. But then you said it was 1,7. Oh, and then yeah, then...

So what was the 10? The 10 is the base price for that tier. I think it's also gold, but then I think it's the $17,000 one is rose gold or something. Ah, get out of it. I only buy rose gold. I mean, the thing that looks cheap, like... I don't know how many gold watches. Well, the thing that drives me crazy is, like you said, why don't you just buy Rolex at

that point? At least if you buy a Rolex, Rolex is fucking expensive. At least if you buy Rolex, Rolex isn't making a new fucking watch next year. That makes the old watch absolutely. It's like, can you imagine? Yeah, but the whole point though, could you take the like the, it's just the wrist thing and maybe you could take the casing from it and just put the new, that looks like a mug me beacon. How old is Rolex though? What do you could take the casing from it and just put the new that looks like a Mug me beacon

Hold his Rolex though What do you mean? How old the company like how long have they been making watches? I think they've been established for a few years. Okay. They've they've never changed the what like right There's a different thing change again every year and making it better than like never so is that no modern Rolex? Let's go all the the modern features? I guess well, what do you consider modern? Because it's like Apple, like just a little face.

It's good, this Rolex has a calculator on it. I don't know, like blue teeth or something. I don't think so. No, I don't think so. I think it's just a watch. Some people just have to buy $15,000 watches. And then that's just anything. It's like that app.

It's like that app that was like, I'm rich. The I'm rich app that was like 10 grand and it didn't do anything, but it's like. They're flash drive. Yeah. And it's just like, well, I bought it. You only had this. But at least that, you could like download it again

to another phone. Like, you can, if you upgraded your device, the software's downloaded to your $15,000 watch. I think you were going gonna buy one of those before the next one comes out. No, absolutely not. Did you buy an iPad before the iPad 2 came out? No.

Well, fuck me, okay. I used to not buy the first version of stuff because the first iPhone was an absolute turd, didn't do anything. But I did buy the first iPad and I probably will get a watch. I'll probably get the cheap. But see you wear a watch.

250. Yeah. You wear a watch. Yeah. I have a one on one. What the fuck's on your hand? It's just sharpies. You got a clubbing?

Yeah. So you don't wear a watch? Do you wear a watch, Brandon? Yeah. Yeah. I've never want to watch my, I had a watch in high school and it's like, well, here's the thing. I have a grue.

Grue time. Yeah. Well, I have a phone. Yeah, and it's like, well here's the thing here in my drawer. I grew time. When I look at it, I have a phone. Yeah, but this is quicker than, okay. On the count of three, what time is it? I know I already know the time. I already know. 7.45. Yeah, it's just faster.

Plus also, and it's dumb. I have the date on my phone. I know it's on the phone as well, but it's just like, okay, okay. Like sometimes when I'm talking to people, I think sometimes when I'm making plans with people they think I'm an idiot because you know they'll be like oh why don't we you know meet up on the 13th or something we're like okay all right yeah we do that yeah why are you

looking at your watch and now I know today's the 9th yeah yeah I know the thing the nice thing about a watch is it's a nice way of saying I'm busy like you do that you can still do that without a watch it just's a nice way of saying I'm busy. Like you do that. You can still do that without a watch. It just means you're kind of like, you have to reach out if you go clubbing. That's your phone. I want to see a nice watch still going strong. Like if anything we should be thankful for Apple

and Samsung and all these pebble things for keeping an old piece of crap alive. Well I think there'll be a time in hundreds of years where this would confuse a kid, like doing that. Like they wouldn't necessarily see that with checking the time. Oh yeah, it's like a phone now. It's like you go like this when kids like pretend to talk on the phone, they don't do this.

They go this. Do they? They really, instead of hanging out on the playground a lot? I just, no, this is what I heard from a friend who's a teacher. I wonder if, instead of using like the phone signal, they just make their hand flat. I wonder if the taking pictures, they don't do this anymore. They'll just go like this. Oh yeah.

Interesting. Kids are stupid. We're gonna be really old and dead one day. Yeah. Do we still say, do kids still say tape it, like if they're gonna record something? Oh, I bet. Not.

Probably not, huh? I don't know. You don't need to record. We're gonna record it someone the other day so what you need to it says you just watch it right now what you just go watch anything just stream it no but I don't think it's like recording something something if you if you but the other day someone was like describing what I did and they said oh he

like videotape stuff. And I was like, I didn't want to correct him. I was like, well, technically we don't use tape anymore. Well, there are people still use tape for backups and crap. Yeah, yeah, but like, I don't go videotaping. It's true. Yeah, we just had a meeting this morning

about how we're doing backups to tape now. Oh, we're doing that here? Yeah. We got the meeting this morning. Yeah, we're, we have tape. tape. I hosted it. I know I I put my head out the door so that you were up there. You were in the office. I was working. If required, why did you come out? Everybody's like a sub-video by midday. It wasn't to take that long. Well, it was a good it was a, we missed the conversation about taping stuff. Oh, I go, I go, I go, clop. We should, we should have a special summary meeting for you.

I'm doing the podcast go over things that you missed. There should be some kind of company etiquette because I was so ready to send a response to the next person to do a reply all whenever someone sends out an important email to the company and it's just like a dumb, you know, like meme or like a dumb joke because I mean, Gus, how many emails do you get a day? A couple hundred, 200? So it's annoying when you get spammed by something that you don't need to read. And I was just like, gearing up, I was like, everybody's gonna agree with me, it's gonna

be so great. And then fucking Daniel from my department sends the dumbest to me in the world and I'm like everybody's gonna agree with me. It's gonna be so great. And then fucking Daniel from my department sends the dumbest to me in the world. And I'm like, I can't fucking say anything. I can't say anything because everybody's gonna be like, well, you guys do it too. And like, it's, it's, it's, it's not frustrating for anybody else. I don't get this because well, I've blocked like 20 people at the company from email. Yeah, I can only receive emails from a certain select few. Can you get, can you get emails from me? Yeah, because you don't send dumb crap. Did you block Shane? Shane's gone. Yeah, absolutely.

We go to the whole list. It's long list. Yeah. So why did you feel like you couldn't say anything if it was your own department? You should call out your own department. You should be able to call out your own. To them. But then if I like to hold the rest of the company you guys need to stop doing this thing to be like well you asshole you guys are the one of the problem even though like we done it like I don't know like wants every like few months and it's usually funny you see the best of problem everyone who sends it thinks that it's no no no no this was funny what it's not a perspective. It's perspective. I don't know. What was the last one we...

I don't know. I'm not gonna say anything about that. I think you guys have too much free time. That's not true. Just like what you're working on that you have time to like make your fun. I don't think you said so yourself. I don't send whatever you can. Yeah, but you were like conferred with you. Like you came up with it.

Oh, you've done it. Not really. You've done it. I don't know that Chris has. The last time I remember doing it was when there were like 12 people in the office. No, I'm serious. I remember when there at certain point there were too many people and I was like, then people started writing emails that it's like, there's too many people. I'm done. I'm done writing group emails. He gets an email, you're like, who is this person? Yeah. I think a peak into the thought process of Christa Merriss. Do you have anyone blocked?

No, no one here at the company. I'm pretty sure I have people outside the company blocked. I try to do like what I did for a long time was I tried to just set a complex series of filters. Right. So that everything will get sorted into the appropriate folders. And I knew that stuff will get sorted into the appropriate folders. And I knew that stuff that made it through all the filters, I really needed to look it right away. But I've given up on that.

I quit that. What were your level of filters? I had so many. Did I never show you like an old screenshot? It's like, you know, in mail on the Mac, you can go through and like, this is like your purpose is to win this normally like that big. Yeah.

Mine was like that big. Because there are just so many like filters to move all the messages around It's like that's it's it's dumb that's such An important part of like managing your time is like doing this work so that you can do more work later It's like and then I Hate email because I feel like anytime I respond to an email it just generates another email. Yeah, yeah It's like so I try to respond as little as possible now. Well, I like without any questions right or

I'll let a conversation if it seems like the conversation is complete. I Won't reply like okay. Thanks or whatever. Just like okay. We're done It's not just not talk about stuff as much, like before email really became super popular. Well, now it's like people can talk about in named things, like before you had to see someone face to face, you're like, oh, I only have a few minutes to see this person, we're gonna talk about important stuff. Now, like email and texting, it's like, oh,

I'm gonna send whatever the fuck I think to this person. And the worst, the worst is, so there's some people who do not know how to answer questions So I'll go out of my way sometimes to make like bullet points question Question question that way it's just like oh you just have to answer these and I'll still get replies that are like You didn't answer anything. You know what that they should do with email They should have a mode where you can make a form in the email and the person can't reply until they've completed fields. That's why they're worth. They do work. They'll complete it, but they won't answer

it. That's what I'm complaining about is they'll reply with an answer, but it doesn't answer the question. Oh, so they're not just saying. I guess you block people. You don't see it. It's so fucking frustrating. Because I try to make it as easy as people. You don't see it. It's so fucking frustrating. Because I try to make it as easy as possible. I don't get it. I'm a little on edge right now. So what else did Apple announce? Oh, oh, did they do more watch that side?

They did enough, some more cool stuff. I'm going to read this. They don't really well say not. When I remind everyone, this episode of the podcast is brought to you by Dollar Shave Club. Everyone here in the studio loves getting a razor delivered from DollarShaveClub.com. They ship them straight to our doors for a couple dollars a month. I can't imagine shaving without them.

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like toilet paper, you know, you know, I don't make that. No, I instacart. Instacart, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I get everything. I got really mad. I've been, we'll get to it in a bit, but I got really mad at the other day

cause my instacart driver showed up like 30 minutes past, like the window of time I had selected. I was like, I've been waiting for this person. Fucking show up 30 minutes late, and she was like, oh, sorry, I'm late. And I'm like, she past like the window of time I had selected. I was like, I haven't waited for this person. Fucking show up 30 minutes late. Then she was like, oh, sorry, I'm late. Then I'm like, she's like, handy with my groceries. Like, oh, these bags aren't yours. These are someone else.

It's like, well, that's why you're late. You're getting someone else's shit. I want them to only go for you. Yes. You do deserve this in your place. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You pay for to have it available at this time. In the window, that's what I requested.

Well, you're paying for. You're not paying for it. Or if they're gonna do that, they should have a bigger window right they say you in this time did you complain to them I I did not give a five-star review I remember one time I my phone was on silent and I realized it and the guy had been like waiting down there for like 10 minutes and I was like oh that's sucks but I'm sure he's used to it that happens a lot and I went downstairs and I looked at him and he had a tear tattoo and then I like changing me I was like, oh that sucks. But I'm sure he's used to it, that happens a lot. And I went downstairs and I looked at him and he had a tear tattoo.

And then I like changing meals. Like, oh, I'm so sorry sir. Please let me tell you. Wait for me to throw on his face. Like, yes, like a tear tattoo, just like right there. I needed to make my cry. And Brad did like a thousand percent tip, maximum tip, maximum tip. The guy went and bought an Apple watch,

I don't know, the $10,000 watch with the tip. Do you ever use Uber? Yeah. There should be a rule with the goddamn drivers of Uber. If you've only got a 2C, a car, don't be an Uber driver. I don't want to sit next to you in your car. I don't want to sit in the back. I like actually like sitting in the front.

I feel kind of like, it's just so weird. He's like right there. Well, but he's, he can see what I'm doing on my phone and stuff Yeah, but he's he's driving. He's not like he's just a dude, you know or or do that one Yeah, I want to matter right and uh my driver had a buddy and they were just in the front see I thought it was kind of like talking and I'm shooting the shit and I just felt like all of a sudden I'm, you know, the third wheel and the back seat. And that's why we were in the conversation.

Yeah, but even then it's like, I didn't sign up. Yeah, I wanted to get in like the middle seat and then just put my hand up. Hey guys, that's weird. I had that with the cab. The guy who was driving was really annoyed and he was like going through a divorce and the other guy was like trying to calm him down

I was like I just like She just like nine man. I was like I wish I was in a different cab to be honest This one Because what's the lowest you'll rate somebody? Do you feel I feel bad if I'd rate somebody? Poorly, but you have to rate somebody at a certain level if you don't want to get them again like they have a bad experience right? I like I used to be, I used to be, I think overly generous, like I would not wouldn't care, I would just give people maximum ratings.

Lately I feel like I'm becoming not generous enough, like I'm giving low ratings a lot more, like I'm getting really picky. To make you feel good. I don't know what it is. You're basically just gonna have like four lift drivers that are eligible to drive you. I've just been in a bad mood,

because of all the, like all the, your emails. We're really busy with South by Southwest and we just been in a bad mood because of all the emails. We're really busy with South by Southwest, and we just finished up Paxi East and Liffel Loughlin. What are we doing for South by Southwest? We have, I don't think we've announced everything yet, so I don't wanna say it yet, but we definitely have space at South by Southwest Gaming

at the Polymer Center, which we normally do. Normally, we still merch, but we're not selling merch this year. We're just gonna have like meet and greets and some video game streaming from there. Fair play play and we're gonna have some other things as well I don't think we've announced yet. So that's going on. So that's why I have questions that need to be answered and they're not getting answered So that's why I'm a little on edge. That's why I'm giving three stars to insta carton set up five So the thing I also notice about Uber drivers is Uber drivers love talking about Uber

You're getting a car. I've never had that you've never had that. Oh my god. I don't think I've ever not talked about Uber to a fucking to a wonderful Uber driver I was like, oh yeah, Uber's great. He's a driver cab. This is so much better. Don't you think Uber's great? Yeah Okay, oh they're really tired of that like how many people they pick up and it's like, well, what are we gonna talk about? Uber. You don't have to talk. Yeah. You just not assume they should not go with what you guys are hearing right.

So, do you guys talk to your person cutting your hair? I try not to. No, just sit there and I'll make. Oh my god. You did on your phone while you're, yeah, I got just rude. That's how that's rude.

That does feel rude. I'm a very generous tipper. I tip a lot because I appreciate the word. Do you end up, I mean, that does feel rude. I'm a very generous tipper. I tip a lot, because I appreciate the word. Do you end up, I mean, I don't know. But I mean, I just, in terms of just conversation, do you have the thing where they like, get mad at you and they're like, no, really aggressively turn your head, you know how?

Maybe they don't want to talk to me. Maybe they get tired of talking to everybody and having to be like, hey, it's over and over. They're like, they don't want to talk about cutting hair all the time, like, that was a driver. So I got my hair cut haircut again. Oh, it's good It was I when I went I went to like like a psycho barber shop with a whole bunch of barbers And I sat down. I was like, oh, this barber looks really familiar. I don't know why

Just cut my hair then like towards the end of the haircut. She went after the eyebrows again I was like I remember her now The eyebrow did you let it do it again? I forget yeah, of course because by the time I knew again I was like I remember her now the eyebrow did you let it do it again I forget yeah of course by the time I knew it she was like fuck wait wait I can imagine you'll face me like hmm wait so what how much did she trim like up here I can feel it so I mean she also like trimmed in the middle and ask you she just like with scissors again yeah I'd be livid that scissors with that close to my eyes. Yeah. She was like, oh.

It's like, when I was in high school, I was at a barber. I had a big pimple on my ear. Or like, no, I'm right around here. And then it popped when I was getting a cut. And then it started bleeding. And she thought she'd cut me. And I was like, she's like, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. And I didn't want to be like, no, it's cool. It's just a pimple. Oh, it sounds like that's all right. It's didn't hurt. I like, I didn't, I didn't know how to respond. I was like, yes, don't worry about it. So I just kind of like, I was like, you know, after a few minutes, she'd have looking at it. She's like, this asshole. That's a pimple. That's not a cut. I was once getting my hair cut and all of a sudden I felt a big splash of liquid and it was just blood running all Down my face and my neck and she cut like the fleshy part of her hand Oh, she's her own damn like while she was moving my hair she just snipped into a flesh and it was so deep

But it was like oh, oh, I then she started let pasta now because she wasn't going to blood and I was like She's died like pasta now because she wasn't going to blood and I was like someone else Manic! Someone like you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, My hair looks worse now, it's only half cut. I don't like other people's blood being... Oh yeah, it was... I don't think anybody likes a full-split blood. It was on my face. Yeah, didn't go in my mouth. I'm sure it doesn't even matter. Does it?

If the blood goes in your mouth, yeah. It's not a zombie movie. She has like AIDS, but... Hepatitis. I even think you could eat blood. I think it's just you can't... If you have AIDS, you could eat AIDS blood. Yeah. Right? But it might make a... I'm the same. I don't think it's just you can if you have AIDS you could eat a blood. Yeah, right?

But it might make me say I don't think it goes I don't think it look him. Yeah, I would make you feel a lot better You're saying it if you aides blood it won't give you a I would have it drink it. Oh wait. Well, it's going into a bloodstream, isn't it? No because it goes into your it's not like when you Well, I'm sure the time to get to your you. Well, I'm showing you like by the time it gets to your intestines, it's going to be like that. It's like you can eat a lot of crap and it doesn't necessarily go into your blood. But your process. Yeah, it does. That's why you get drunk. Okay. I don't know. You have AIDS like drinking AIDS blood. So you

think so do you going back a bit? You know how we were talking about how you don't always want to talk to like you don't necessarily want to talk to a cab driver or a bar. I'm like, I'm the same way. I'm not a talkative person, especially if I don't know someone. I don't want to talk to them. Does anybody who ever watched that TV show Nathan for you?

It's a comedy central show, but it's he comes up with dumb ideas for businesses then helps a business implement his dumb idea to see how it benefits or it doesn't benefit people. And he helped a cab company one time and he installed like an iPad system where people in the backseat of a cab could choose whether they wanted to have a conversation or not have a conversation and it would tell the driver

and if they did want to have a conversation it had a list of topics that the driver knew about and they could talk about. So you could request specific topics for the driver to tell you. And invariably, everybody said no conversation. Really? Yeah, if that was a switch on the Uber app for like chat or no chat, I'm sure everyone would turn it off.

Yeah. How many people really want to be told to? It was by stranger. Yeah. It's like, I don't, just drive. When I first went to New York, we got in a cab, but it didn't look like a cab. It was just some dudes car, and I started to get really scared and freaked out

because I had no idea where we were going. And I was just trying to calm down by talking to the guy. And I was asking about the Yankees or this or that. And he would answer me one or two sentences, and then he immediately changed a subject back to Michael Jackson. Because this was when all the molestation stuff was going on.

He's like, yeah, do you hear it? Michael Jackson and those kids, man, what he's doing to them. subject back to michael jackson because like this is when all the molestation stuff was going on is like edge here michael jackson in those kids man what he's doing of them and it's like all right i thought we that we moved on from the topic like five minutes ago and it's just like the more longer went on the creepier it went where we're going in his eyes to take it to kids yeah always always just michael jackson and kids like he would have he would have none of what i wanted dogra

i got a new neighbor. Uh, I found out because I got a letter in the mail from the neighbor. Oh, yeah. Wait, did he hit you banging? No, no, no, I got a letter in the mail saying that's like a sex predator. Oh, yeah. A sex predator. Did he have to introduce himself to you? No, no, you didn't come up and I just got a letter that said it's like so and so has moved into your neighborhood. This person is a, and it said high risk. Oh, well, yeah, but I've looked it up. I don't think I'm at risk.

Too old. Oh, it's time. Is he like your next joint neighbor? I have no idea. What are you going to do if you like? It's not in my comp. It's not in my comp. You do look kind of young Chris. Yeah, I'm not that you know, but it's not in my it's somewhere I guess in you know the the I don't know what the perimeter

is but you know it's not in my complex it's not my exact address. What would you do if he knocked on your door and he asked to borrow like flower? Is that what I do digital camera You know digital camera to the borrow I don't know I mean I don't know I don't if I recognize him I may be weird because they're sending it with the picture. What do they say what he did? Know what I looked it up. What do you do? He was you know showed himself to some some Kids come off it. Yeah. That is too many of them, right? Like, doesn't it just blow your mind?

How many kid he did Liz there are? Yeah. Well, it shouldn't be that many. Yeah. To be fair, he didn't do any of that. He just showed them. I don't know why I'm defending him. Let me go. But yeah, it's still, still, still creepy, huh?

Yeah. Really creepy., really have kids. Chris, you should find out where he actually lives. Yeah, I don't think I need to be worried. You're lucky, do you? Yeah, so without devalue and neighborhood. I don't know. If it were a house fright like a family home, no one's gonna want to move in with like a two-year-old.

I guess so. No, yeah, I mean, I imagine if there's like an area that's really receptive to sex predators, then it would devalue everything. They should just have their own village. No. Like a leopard. I'm pretty sure they're scattered.

No matter where you are, there's one nearby. It's like, there's like, there's a thing as- There's a lot of rats, it's like, there's always 20 rats within like 10 yards of you. Yeah. Yeah, I'm, there's a lot of people who get arrested for crap, you know, yeah, but it's one thing to be arrested Nothing to be like what's it and I've gone to what is the stat on it like they say the stat is one in 10 people a day

What is the stat on how many sex well? Yeah? Like I could really figure that out well how many neighbors do you have yeah let's just go through the why I don't know I see I don't know what the perimeter is I don't know how far how big or wider you know I imagine it's probably a couple mile radius you know how do they determine what the perimeter is like I have two miles don't worry about this guy I've never received does anybody have you ever I've never got one? I don't think I've changed my mail in six months What yeah, what did we talk about?

Checking it against a jail. No, I'll be okay. What's this like a bail or like a tax all did they what about jury duty? Well, like all my mail goes to a place that I never live at is it against the law to not read mail Well, it's against law not to go to jury duty for someone But you can't use that. I didn't read my mail as an excuse We get a lawyer out here Well, anything important they would since certified and that they know yeah, like this like a Received like you have to sign get it That they would know like that's like a or received like you have to sign get it

Now they can prove that you received it. Well problems like I technically I you know I have a room in some do-touse and not Christian neighbor But I'm never there. I would stay you know with my pretty much lives with this girlfriend Yeah, and so it's like you know on my way home. It's like oh, do I want to stop by this other house just to get mail I don't know and you do that day after day for like six months, you know, it happens. This other house. Yeah. It's right down the road. He got it. He can go. I just pay these. Yeah. He pays to do the stores couch. Yeah. And his fucking cat ripped up my couch. He didn't even do that. Yeah. Do you get any of that money back? Is there like a cat deposit? I don't know I just at the end of every month I'm just like I'm getting paid for that you're gonna do to store your couch and the couch is fucked up

Yeah, no well he's I have like for like the part of the body to have his own space You know, yeah, it's a very small bedroom But if if you know whatever happens he can always say I can go he always he can go home to his own his other house So you have two places. Yeah, why? Because like you know, you know, I'm moving and I've moved in with something you know Moving in with someone is a big commitment and it's like well, we haven't take one. You just moved on your own What do you mean closer? Why would I move? No, my whole point is like I state my girlfriend's place all the time Oh, I see that's what I'm at my girlfriend's place all the time.

Oh, I see. That's what I'm saying. So that's why, but I, you know, I don't want to move in because then it's like something happens. Like, I got to, I got to move all this stuff now. You know? You know, I got this couch at the cat's crouched up. I'm going to go back out.

It's like, it's a lot of work. I guess we'll just stay together. I guess we'll just get married because I don't, let's get this fucking couch at any hair. Right? I don't have this fucking couch at any Right, I don't have to look for another place to live so you won't live with a girl because you can't be bothered with the the fallout from a possible break It's not be by you. That's just a big thing You think you should be happy to hear that Listen to the block cats. All right.

I hope not. It's like the only reason you keep this other place is trusty. I know. I know. But I think that everybody does that. That's why you keep the other place. Yeah, that's why I got another place like I live with my wife. You know, what happened?

How often do you say that? Uh, never really. Unless her parents are in town and her parents stay with her, then I have to like move all of my shit out of the apartment anyway. Why is it so? And pretend like I don't live there. Is it secret? Oh, it's a secret. It's secret love Well now it's on the internet. Well, no, but her dad's not on Twitter. We already yeah, we've already heard stories of The dog and it's strange Yeah, did you dog live do you know hey? I don't know about whenever you suggested a movie to watch with her family. I think so no

I don't think you told that on the podcast. Oh man, so I've only met her dad like twice. And we went to her. I met her dad. He's like a, he's like a guy that's like, he's intimidating like, I'm a businessman, I'm, I'm a alpha male. Six foot, yeah, he's like six foot four, very strong,

you know, it's very intimidating, physically intimidating guy. And very proper. And he knows that you're like being his daughter. Yeah. And I'm also like, I'm not like a man's man. Like I'm the perfect boyfriend for like the third daughter. You're kind of like, you're like, we'll let that one go, but she's the only daughter. So I'm already a disappointment.

And so I go to their house and I'm staying in their house and it's like movie night. And I was like thinking like what's a great movie that they would like. And I was like, oh, how cool. Like cabin in the woods. I remember that was like really clever and really cool. So we start to watch cabin in the woods. And it's like me, her mom, her dad, and her like, you know, 11-year-old brother. And then the movie starts and they start swearing a little bit and I was like, oh, wow, they swore a lot more than I thought in this movie. And then

they start taking off clothes and expose breasts and like very, very like, I don't know, like some point someone's making out with like a boar and then at one point, the dad just like puts his hands up in the air and he's like, I can't do this. I can't think this. And he's like, he just like storms out

and like takes the brother with him. Cause in a little brother sitting here, like, completely. He basically was like, you've, you've, what is the word? It's corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra bra you know people like it's like saying what movies do you want i know great porno that you got very clever yeah great-great story uh... it's like we don't want to watch how about texas chainsaw massacre that's it and texas

well i talked to you about this though and you're like yeah i had to think about it a little bit that movie is a little bit worse but i still would would go for like a movie with like that hard r-rating yeah you pissed him off real good. Yeah, pissed him off real good. And but the thing is like you understand what's happening,

but it's a slow process because you don't just need to be like, okay, guys, sorry, this movie's bad. You're just sitting there and you're like, oh, no. What have I done? And then there's slowly looking over at everyone else in the room. And the dad's like, that's the most awkward. And he just like, pluting his hands through it here and just like we still have

an hour and a half how old was the child he's like 12 this is how you end up on the sex when you move that's why you want to move you love the male cards again oh man yeah he doesn't like me did you say he also asked you for a wine suggestion once? Yeah, what is your for blood with aids in it? So well, I don't drink wine. I drink liquor, which I think that's, you know, it's respectable. I like liquor, that's cool.

But we were at a restaurant and he's like, can you recommend a wine? And I just, I didn't know know I just kind of like pick something randomly And then we're like that's not wine. I was like All right So then like I pick something else getting you wanted a red wine. That's why cuz if I order a white wine. I would Mascotto so what you really good why ordered this? I ordered a scotter for me I've no idea what I would for him was it like vinegar? It was like that is that's a talk of yeah so they brought out trip my wine and uh... you know they give him swine glasses like regular wine glass you know

that's really second respectable they give me mine and they classified as a desert wine because it's very sweet so they give me like the smallest cutest little wine glass and I'm like holding it in my hand like I'm for And then her dad is just sitting there with like a straight face just kind of looking at me. Judging you for your time. I know and I just want to apologize. I was like I'm sorry dude. How do you know she likes me? You told me that the wine you had suggested for him was a Merlot.

And I was like how much that's why I found it yet. How much you ever seen sideways? That's why no, that's what it was Because I remember time I said Paul Giamani is like no, I'm not having a fucking Merlot Merlot Merlot So when eventually they asked I was like I don't have Merlot. I know there's a Merlot Oh, that's so what I made one positive impression. I didn't just say I Don't really drink wine much. I was I get why were you like no? I got this. Yes We're gonna go watch Cabin in the woods.

We're getting family movies about a cabin. So do you do stuff because you like what if you was like hey get change the tyre would you just be like and then you like crush the kid or something. I can change a tyre what makes you think I can't change a tyre. Because you don't know how to water a wine. No I mean like I mean I didn't know how to change a tire the first time I had to, you know, but you figured out, I put the car up, like I used the jack and looked it up the car and I was like, okay, this looks like a good first step. So then I was like, all right, we

got to loosen the bolts on this tire. I've seen this, I've seen them do this. So I put the little, the big rod on little nuts and I'm like yanking it and the whole car is just like shifting on the jack front to back And I'm like you have to lose it like really like we can smile and then I was like oh shit Maybe have to unscrew it before I lift up the car Yeah, so then I put the car back down undid it and then you know I figured it out. What is your, would you have a big sphere with what he will ask you to do like? I'm not scared. Like I'm not scared like I never get like necessarily nervous. I just always feel like it is appointment. And it's just like every day I'm just like what this is

this is a no-one situation. Well I know know why you guys are looking at me like, you feel sorry for me, fuck you all. I'm fine. I live my life. I love your stories about your interactions like that. It makes me so grateful that I'm married and I have to deal with that shit anymore. And it's done. That your in-laws don't speak to you.

Yeah, that's the spread. Yeah, they like me a lot. They don't speak to you very well. So you spanish very well. Yeah, they like me a lot. They don't speak English very well, so you can, like, someone told them to watch a video. Have you ever been there in the internet? There's some things though that she won't let them watch, though, right? Yeah, she did not let them watch frag, dude, for a long time. She eventually, she relented and let them watch it.

Have you ever very quickly insulted them to their face, hoping that they wouldn't... No, why would I do that? I just roll off. Well, you're a definition of a laugh in mind, are very different. Is it not funny to get away with I do that? You're definition of a laugh in mind are very different. Isn't it not funny to get away with some of that? No. It'd be so nervous. Yeah. I do that. It's not nervous. You were always pretty good. Whenever we would go to conventions, I would give you I would give us little phrases to slip in when he's

talking to fans about pricing and stuff and I'd be like, all right, your next challenge before 130, you've got to slip in sloppy vagina. and I'd be like, all right, your next challenge. Before 130, you've got to slip in Sloppy vagina. And he would be like, well, the shirt's a, you know, one for 22 for the, this one over here, if you get with the hats and Sloppy vagina posters. And he would like slip him in so well and people would be like, uh-huh, okay. And nobody, I don't think anyone ever questioned

what you said. He didn't put it in context. No, he would just like put it in with other words so Wounds with information and then they would just be like okay, yeah, I'll have one because they don't want to be the guy It's like Sorry, but maybe I've had something similar where I've been on the others when I thought was the other side of that or the first time I went down in New Zealand Oh, we were working on an event there and

When I thought was the other side of that or the first time I went down in New Zealand We were working on an event there and These two attendees came up to us and you're like, oh if you if you'd like Thai food There's a there's a or there's if you like Asian food is a great like Thai place down the road. It's called monsoon Poon I was like I was like does Poon mean the same thing in New Zealand that it does in America? They're like, yeah, I was like like Poon mean the same thing in New Zealand that it does in America. And they're like, yeah. I was like, like, Poon? And they're like, yeah, and that's the name of the restaurant. And they're like, yeah, I was like, okay, I don't believe those guys.

I looked it up. It's like, yep, monsoon Poon is really good. How do you spell Poo-o-n? Did you go? Yeah, so it's like wet pussy, the Thai place. Yeah. Do you think people were more likely to buy a shirt if they like they didn't realize you said sloppy, sloppy vagina, but it's just like

subconsciously registered in their mind and they're kind of like, I like sloppy vagina by the shirt. But like subconsciously. No. I don't know what it is. But there is. Yeah, that's a nice. Love you long time.

There's two locations. One in Auckland and one in Wellington. The one I went to was in Wellington. But I've been to both now. They're going to get a lot of business to have a really little lot of business for her. All of our listeners in Auckland and Wellington right now. They have this one really spicy dish. It's really good. It's called Firecracker Chicken.

Should we charge it for this? It's supposed to be... It's supposed to be... Gotta get Alan's... Oh, it's great place to live even there. Oh, it's really awesome. I miss us. We're talking about New Zealand, but There's an Australian over there you just pissed him. Hey, hey tell me Brandon tell the story about your birthday Well, you were more yeah part of it than I was yeah Chris

All right, well, I'll tell you a story. I had a birthday. Yeah, so we ran out of birthday, and so I was talking to his girlfriend, Paula, about like they were going to go out, and then there were going to be, you know, a group of people were going to like surprise him at a bar and be like, hey, you know, like, because she was like, oh, we'll just have a quiet thing in just the two of us. So we like organize this whole thing where it's like, we were texting back and forth being like, all right, we're here, all right, we'll probably get here at, you know,

9.30, so everyone be there by 9.30 and so, and they both know that, I don't like doing stuff for my birthday, like I never hang out with people. I feel weird, like I feel, it's almost like, if I ask somebody to hang out with my birthday, they're only gonna do it because they feel obligated. We're not gonna do that. So it's weird. Like every.

Yeah, so, so like she was like, OK, we're on our way. We'll be there in like 15 minutes. And this, you know, at this point, there's like, you know, a group of people waiting to like surprise kind of thing, right? Yeah. And so we get there at this, the place that Chris was having. And here's the deal.

Is she picked a bar That you suggested independently. Yeah, she was like where do you want to go? I was like, oh, let's go to this place. Housey on and like we were already at yeah, so it was really perfect She picked a bar that he knew that he that she knew that he liked Yeah, he knew that she New that he liked this bar and that's where she told us to meet and he independently suggested going to it Yeah, so it wasn't one of the situations with someone throwing a surprise party for you. They're like, oh, no, no, no, we got to go here. I go this time. I was like, naturally, I wanted to go to that place.

How handy. Exactly. We walk there and then we're about to walk in and she stops me and I'm like, what? She's like, look, I tell you something. I'm like, what? All your friends are inside. Oh, she ruined it. And then like, I wasn't, it wasn't like a meeting. Oh, wow, that's crazy. And then like, it wasn't like in me thing, oh wow, that's crazy. I was like kind of not in shock, but like really confused. Like, who are you talking about? Why are they here? Friends. And then like, there's no, wait, who could it be?

There's no, there's no, there's no follow up. Like we just kept walking in and then all of a sudden like, surprise and Brennan goes, I said like the most like awkward look at us. Yeah, like I just smelled like the most like massive like Dump or something like it was just like it was really it was really like Unsatisfactory surprise why is she doing it? I don't know she got scared She got mad that I would like I would storm out and like, be super pissed and like move back to my little house or whatever. To your shitty couch.

So it was just like the love that I stayed at. I was like, oh, surprise party in the world. Well, I think because like last year, I didn't tell her it was my birthday. So she didn't know until the day. And I was like, oh, I should probably tell you before you get mad at me today is my birthday. Before you get mad.

And then she got really mad at me. And then I was like, how can you, you can't get mad at me. It's like, it's my birthday. Before you get mad. And then she got really mad at me. And then I was like, how can you, you can't get mad? You know, it's my birthday. Like, you can't get mad at me. You're both like my birthday. And so she had to like run out and like, you know, throw together something and she felt bad about it. So, so this time she threw something together, but warned you.

Yeah. Yeah. So, maybe a third time. But I don't know, it seems like she could have together but warned you yeah yeah so maybe a third time but I don't know it's like she could have just like told you from the beginning I don't I mean if I was that high day waiting well not high day well he's like ready to be well like excited well here's the deal it's like I just like we're sitting there and I saw through the windows like I think I just saw Brandon walk by and I was like oh so I was like he's here but then like, they didn't show up for like five minutes or not five minutes, but like longer than it takes to walk from

here to here. So I was just like, did I not see them? And then they walk out and then Brandon has this like, fart smell look on his face. And I was like, what the hell? No, and like the worst part of it isn't, isn't all that. It's immediately after when you're like, well, it's time for me to sit down and start socializing because there wasn't like this big. Oh, hey, welcome. Let's sit down. It's all like all right Well, everybody keep talking amongst yourself So you made it weird as well you both just made it really weird. I had no I had no control It was out of my control. It was made weird for me if I said oh your friends are now be like oh, it's nice Hey, how's it good bebs? I didn't the situation, because it was a weird thing to do.

Yeah, to be fair, it was like a warning. Like, all your friends are in there to confront you about your addiction to, you know, it's a veteran cocaine. It's like, it's like a weird, like, just letting you know, this is about being intervention, but it's a birthday party. That's a prize cocaine, but me. Yeah.

Yeah, I got, I don't know, someone emailed me, someone invited me to go there, like that day. Oh, and I saw it, I was like, well that's like in four hours. I'm not gonna go to that. You didn't, I was surprised. You didn't have to tell him, I didn't know that. You didn't have to, Why would I go, fuck that.

Yeah, I hate birthdays too. It's weird. It's a weird thing. Where it's like, especially like, you know, you're on the Facebook. And all of a sudden, it's your birthday and there's like a thousand people you've never talked to. And it's just, I don't know, it's weird. It makes me uncomfortable. You know what I'm going to do this year?

I'm going to change the date of my birthday to a different day on my birthday. So I get no messages and then switch it back afterwards. Yeah. You just always keep moving it into the future so that it never actually happens. Well, that's the best thing to do. Somebody leaves their Facebook open on your computer and you're like, oh, this is not going to go off for this person. You don't change their name, like, you know, make something stupid.

You just change the birthday. Hmm. So like two days from then, because like they're not going to notice and all of a sudden, everybody's going to write on their wall, happy birthday. But then when it's like their actual birthday comes up, they're not going to get, you just changed the birthday. Like two days from then, because they're not gonna notice and all of a sudden everybody's gonna write on their wall, happy birthday. But then when it's like their actual birthday comes up, they're not gonna get, you know, it's not gonna be the same.

They're gonna be the same. They're gonna be diabolical. You change their birthday to a day after the actual day so that they don't get any notice. Their birthday comes and goes, and nobody wishes them a happy birthday and they get really sad. And they have been a day later.

That's what you do to fuck with them. Oh, you should change their age to 12 and see if they get any action for some predators. Yeah, I know guys. I said they're radius. Yeah. Yeah, you were so happy when Chris got that letter. He was always ready. But you were running through the parking lot to show me.

You're like, look what I got, Gus. And you're like waving it in your hand. I gotta go Is it just a generic letter that or is it like a person or mad at it? Do you want to see it? Yeah, like did he write on it? Like did he put no no no it's like a oh you got it on you yeah, yeah, we'll put out I'm gonna show you what I want to show people Yeah, we'll put out. Wait. I was gonna show people. I wanted to show people.

You have to block out your address or anything on there. Yeah, I just don't want to. I don't know if you want to show the person. Oh, that's good. Oh, yeah. I don't need a letter to tell me that. He's got did-liver in a way. Yeah.

This guy never had a chance, man. Oh, he's green-wise. No, I saw it already. Yeah, it's just like a little postcard thing that they print up and they're like, it looks like junk mail. Like a magazine. Yeah, it's like, oh, is this a coupon for a new restaurant or a sex predator? I don't know.

They put people like that on milk, right? Yeah, like a milk file. They put the children on the milk. Yeah, that's the opposite. Why do they do that, by the way? Like, why is that a thing? I guess it's like, everyone uses milk. I don't. Like, why is that the go to?

Why is it like, the milk industry has to give up like one of the sides of their packages. Yeah, they're not like broccoli. That's something that's exclusive to here. Really? I've never seen a picture of anyone. Well, I don't think, I think it's like a thing on TV. I don't think they still do it.

Might have been an old time thing. Yeah. Well, everyone else turned off the amber alerts on your phone. I had to finally recently. Yeah. The noise is just so scary. It's like, it's really jarring at 3 a.m. Yeah.

That's the worst I feel like when you get them at 3 a.m. It's like flash blood warning. Or it's like, those are, those are helpful. You're right, but I don like when you get him at 3am. It's like flash flood warning Or those are those are helpful. You're right, but I don't live anywhere near. I'm upstairs Yeah, I'm upstairs and I'm not anywhere near a creek or a body of water like it doesn't I'm not going anywhere You live next to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm totally fine or like lost old person. I mean how You've seen the signs for lost old people? Yeah, they've won the doff. Yeah. Happens a lot. That's sad. It's it is sad. I feel like you want to help, but then you always run the risk of just, you know, seeing me like an asshole. Yeah, I'm

the person saying, you lost. Are you okay? It's like, yeah, I'm okay. I'm just old. Like, do you think all the perfectly sane old people who regularly walk see the sign for lost I only like Christ or they can't actually 17 question like your old or like oh shit orange shirt no do you think at any point some old person's like wait am I that lost could I be lost and I know I realize it family yeah that's scary yeah yeah I'm sorry I kind of got in the way. No, no, no, no, no.

How mean would it be to put out a lost, like if I put up ads for like lost Gus, please keep a lookout. And everyone was like trying to find you. Right here. Could I do that? I think I feel like you would get in trouble for that, wouldn't you? Yeah, that's like taking advantage of it. But really, I'm just advertising.

That's like calling in a false fire or something. Or is it a robbery? Oh, no I Feel what's the point of calling in a false fire? Or like get there like I just like prank on the police essentially right? Right. Yeah, maybe if you don't alert the police of the authorities, maybe you'd be okay Like you say it like it was just like an advertisement. Yeah, but then what do you advertise have you seen this Gus?

Where would you put it on billboards? Oh shit. You know, that's that's big. Maybe you know, Gus, one time we were driving back from Buda and then there was a billboard address to Gus from Bernie. Oh right. You know what I'm talking about? Except it was spelled B-E-R-N-I-E but like it was so hard for me to believe that that wasn't actually Bernie. It was really to the F1. But it was like congratulations or something. Billboards aren't expensive. No, we've looked into it for RTX advertisements in the past. Billboards and local television also.

Oh yeah, local. Why do you do more doughboards then? I don't know. We should do. We should totally do like local TV. I'd just air them in the office. Let's take down the goddamn attorney that rocks and put Roosterty. I think it's gone.

Oh, I keep seeing him. His ears are a lot of bill. I know your time out. It's like, why would you want not want an attorney with dreads? Yeah. I'll call you. You will be great. Or the DWI, dude. Does anybody remember the old Betty Blackwell commercials?

Oh, yeah, I'm Betty Blackwell. Do you know Betty Blackwell? That was so jarring because like that, that's like a local Austin ad that ran for years. I mean, that no joke, that commercial probably ran for like 20 years without any updating. The finally, I think about five years ago, they had to update it.

And it was weird seeing the old commercial to now, because all of a sudden, she aged 20 years from one commercial to the next. So the queen, when they redo the coins. Yeah, she's just like that. Oh my God. The old Betty Blackwell commercial. Tell you what, it works.

You never remember her name. Yeah, and she's at the very end of the commercial. Is this the old Betty? This is the old one. This is the old one. Oh, yeah, this is the old one. There's this awful local ad for a And then like the new version is is that huh? Yeah, but the new version is this plus like 20 years Oh, hey, she looks good for let's do a comparison. I want to see the new one Yeah, you can get like a commercial though TV stage for like a hundred bucks

We shouldn't make the worst commercials. Just like there's no way we could actually make the worst. Like, there's so bad. Gus, you remember the tattoo, the local tattoo shop commercial? Which one? They used, oh, with the dog. Yeah, they had the two dogs. They used like songs from like the Apple Music Library. And then they had these two still photos of a dog. And they used the mouth like animation software

that we used for Vic. Yeah. From like, you know, the first few seasons of RVB and Stu Stumann. And they aired like it just aired non-stop. Yeah, I don't remember. Can't remember what it was from. Oh, oh, oh, oh, geez. Is she in the same room?

That's impressive. Yeah, but it's just so weird to see, you know, because it literally went from one to the other. I felt like I just saw the other one yesterday. Wow. I was just weird seeing her age that quickly. The worst, the worst is that fucking Toyota dealership up north. The guy who does like the Austin Powers impression. Oh. Yeah, no, no, that one is bad too. I'm intentionally not saying their names. Yeah, I'm technically out of FTV. So I never see see I don't think I've ever seen a Come on. What she's the one Maryl's talking about they also do like radio ads and everything that one's

Fucking terrible. Well, I'll sit apple on this They announced the updated versions of the MacBook Air updated version. I think of the 13 inch MacBook Pro it's gold. Right Well, in a new line called Macbook. Is it gold one? MacBook. It's between, well, it's the ones they took away. Well, it's a 12 inch laptop that's smaller than the MacBook Air. What? It's, it's, it's used to have a MacBook and they discontinued it.

This one's thinner than the 11 inch MacBook Air. It weighs only two pounds and it comes in gold, silver and gray. But why would it, isn't the thinnest one? Correct. Why isn't that just the MacBook Air? Like, in the MacBook Air, the fact that it's supposed to be the lightest small. I don't, I'm just as confused as you. It also, it only has one port on it.

They should have called it the Mac with the Juliet. One USB. No, like one port. Well, yeah, it's called USB-C and that's where you plug it into charge it. But that's also like, if you want to use a USB you have to plug in like a USB hub into there so you can't charge it and use you can't drive you can't you have to just have like an adapter that passes the current through and also passes the data through because you read the Steve Jobs it seems like they could have like maybe had a chart like oh well

maybe we can't charge it like what yeah? Yeah, you want to do fantasy arguments? They have that. Yeah. Tim, we're just like, what's this like one adapter? You plug it and it's got like all your breakout. Yeah, but I'm gonna lose that adapter. Right, you're gonna lose that. Yeah, the good thing about that though is it's future proof.

They can, you can put newer adapters on it. And you're not limited by the, true, the seven-year-old hardware That's when you're laptop in seven years. Yeah, well, but that's assuming that the input for it is fast enough that it can you know It's faster than whatever's gonna come from the future, right? I guess the future. Yeah, you listen to the audio version of the Steve Jobs documentary, right? Yeah, or is bought sorry biography Yeah, one of the things he did to fix Apple was he came in

and he's like, you guys have too many goddamn computer lines that do the same thing. He's like, we're gonna have two different laptops, consumer, pro, two different, like, you know, desktops. And so he's, you know, vanishes, he goes away and then like, the immediately start making it. Yeah, they immediately just start like,

let's add this weird middle ground that we can kind of have people differentiate between I'm weird it just like it just seems like they're complicating it I feel like it's it's it's it's almost complicated for us but I can't imagine being like a 70 year old walking to Apple store and being like I don't know what I want look at this damn laptop I feel bad like my my my stepfather was recently asking about like he likes my MacBook care he know what I want. Look at these damn laptops. I feel bad like my stepfather was recently asking about, like he likes my MacBook care. He's like, I want to, yeah, I saw him a couple weeks ago. He's like, I want to buy one of those.

I said, well, they're probably going to update him soon, wait until they update him, and I'll let you know when they update him. So then today, they announced the new MacBook care, and then announced a new MacBook. I'm like, fuck, how am I going to explain this? That's okay, there's a new laptop that's smaller and lighter than the one I use, but it's more powerful. Do you think the one i use but it's more powerful do you think it deserves it's more powerful than a map of care

but we will it's got some other stuff like it's got a red and a display so does twenty three or four by fourteen four like what's the different what are the different markets they're like well like who who are they targeting for each one rich slightly less rich but what who did which one is which there might be people who like oh, I don't want a MacBook Air I don't want like the you know the The lesser one I only get a pro but the pros two expensive so like here's a laptop We're not gonna call it the air so you can kind of think that you're getting the middle one you're getting like you know

The average you're not getting the lowest division because otherwise there's no point like there's a MacBook more expensive or yeah It's more expensive it starts at 1299. I love these conversations because we're gonna be so dumb and like a decade from now Listen to these it's great. The we're thinking about the new MacBook the front facing FaceTime cameras only 480 really yeah Which is really shitty. Yeah Well, they're phone is probably They had a phone, is probably. They had a whole thing during the press conference about how they had to redesign and reinvent the keyboard. Oh, Christ, the Johnny I've come out.

What the fuck is that? I said it. He's talking about his magic keyboard. They, they invented, so they're, they're masters. All of a sudden, I was brilliant. They invented a problem. That no one in the world has ever complained about her is like they invented a problem and then they made a solution for it right away you've never had this problem have you ever been unhappy with the way when

you press a key that it goes like one side goes in and not the other side well no now that you said that though like I'm what do you know what do you mean what do you mean like it rocks in the bed the new Macbook doesn't do that They invented a butterfly Support for it so that it uniformly press some of it is impressive like you got to admit it's impressive What are you when he comes out and says all the new Mac? But yeah, I see there on the left is the old scissors mechanism and on the right is the new butterfly mechanism Because that was that time where they they read it some of the fans in one of the

Mac. There's like they just basically just messed up a fan. So it wasn't even a new asymmetric and like the frequency of noise gets like spread and it's quieter. And it's just like get life. The new MacBook no fans. Yeah, it's got no fans. It's all state. Like even like old Mac say like the failed. Yeah, it's got no fans. I think it's all a state. No, no, no.

It's like even like old Max, they like the failed. I think it was the cube or something that oh the Mac. No, it was like before it was like before PC thingy. Yeah, the jobs went back to Mac and like the 80s, whatever he made the cube and he didn't have any. And then you could like the next cube. The next cube. Yeah, they like with no fans.

It's like it was also I think one of the first computers to have a optical drive. Oh, yeah next cube. The next cube, yeah. They're like, no fans. It's like, it was also, I think, one of the first computers to have an optical drive. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna write you those a few times. They were confusing as fuck. Yeah. Cause I was like, CD.

No, the next computers. Just cause I was a dumb kid. I don't know anything. Oh, they were used as Windows 3.1 at that point. Yeah. I was so fucking confused. What do you think is the most, like a Windows, like we all have PCs and stuff. We will use them

But I probably only use like 10% of what they can do like what is the least used function in Windows right now? The least used function in Windows is the help system Who goes through and reads help There's a lot of people would do that. Yeah, like you hit f1 that brings up help right? Yeah, yeah It's annoying. Yeah, I you hit f1, it brings up help, right? Yeah. No. I don't know. It's annoying. Yeah, I bring it up by accident sometimes. Like, Christ. Fucking hell.

Or it's like, oh, the network troubleshooters. Your computer can't connect to the internet. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's not a troubleshoot. It never works. It never works. Diagnosing. Nope.

I don't know. It's like, let me try and connect to the internet. It didn't work. Sorry. Oh Let me see if we love to know from Twitter. Has anyone ever pressed like diagnose and it does the little thing And it's just like all done you're good I Never had that even the bare minimum said the problem is X all it does is tell you if you're even that cables plugged in

No, no, it's not doing anything. It doesn't do anything And then but then it'll ask you right after it fails to send a dying ask Diagnostic report, but you're just somebody here. Oh, yeah Listen, would you get back online let us know about this right down this let us know who helped you fix it right down This 32 digit error code and submit it search and Google later. Oh here. I got to read this did it, searching Google later. Here, I got to read this. I'll undermine everyone. This episode of the podcast is also brought to you

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And I talked about how I used to use these next cubes when I was younger. So it was this computer lab in a summer program I'd go to and used to use these next cubes when I was younger. So I would, it was this computer lab in a summer program I would go to. On one side were the next cubes. And on this other side were a bunch of, uh, uh, max. And you would go over to the max. And this like, I'll be first starting my, my, making my first website, uh, was on max. Like you, it was, it, it wasn't macOS. I didn't realize it at the time. It looked just like macOS, but in the upper right, it was like an icon you could click,

that would open up like a Unix terminal, and it was like a combination of like Unix and Mac OS, so you could create your website in the Unix terminal, and then like navigate to your files and Mac OS, and like right click on them and be like, I wanna share this with the world, and it was so fucking dumb. I think it was called AU.U.X. Please

someone on Twitter send me hashtag our tea podcast if that's true or not. So, what was your website? I made a blue oyster cult fan page. All right. That was my first website ever. Is it still up? No, it's gone. But Bernie and Jeff found it years later when I was working at the old call center they may find it they meet fun and meet and cesse that's actually why i took over bernie's bernie dot com website

and wrote bernie sucks cock later got turned into the animated venture like the city of bernie tazmean asked him to take down uh... what you're in about them on their way on his website uh... what's the most surprising thing to you? Like, based on like, you know, your involvement back then, when you started involved in the web and operating systems

to where we are now. Like, what's the thing that you never thought would happen? The fact that you can carry the internet in your pocket and it's super fast and you can stream like video and audio and everything just works on like a phone, everywhere. You don't have to be wired or connected. That's still crazy to me.

You just fly it around and it's like, it literally in your plane, plane you just have it the world name. Yeah, everything. That's crazy I mean just and how fast it is. I mean when I was when I was a kid It sounded like a fucking old man now when I was a kid there was no internet So how did you what how did you look at porn so? The first that's a funny I've told the story in the podcast before I think, but one time when I was like, how was I? I was probably like 14.

I was reading an issue of Newsweek. And on Newsweek, they had an article in Newsweek that an article about how there was this new thing called the World Wide Web and people were putting porn on it. And they had like a screenshot screenshot of the Playboy website as part of the article, I was like, oh my God. So I like walked over to my computer and it was a text-based web browser.

Like you couldn't see images. And I typed in the address that I saw in Newsweek. They have a size for? Yeah, they was like, oh my God. Yeah, this webpage actually loaded. But I had to use my arrows and like, hit download, initiate like a modem transfer, if I wanted to download anything, it would take a minute to download 10 kilobytes.

So if a JPEG was like 50 kilobytes, it would take five minutes to download. So it allows you to off after the tits. No, I couldn't look at it until it was done down. No, no, no, no, no, it was just like a modem transfer. Like it didn't display on my screen. It was just like a data transfer and it saved it. And then I could say this one thing so much faster than like old like Western porn, right?

Which was. How old? Well, they didn't exist. Well, no, they would have the little like, you know, they had like a giant, they put like all the pictures and then they like, you know, like this. Yeah, a gyroscope. I don't know. It's like the ability to like go somewhere

and then see naked people is, well, I mean, it likes to been sketches first, right? Yeah, like cave, that's what, cave paintings were, it was like just porn. I'm just going to go and, people in a joke off cave. You laugh, but I've guaranteed you there was a jerk off cave.

There's a cave, but it's like bed don't go You'll slow only when you're a man I don't know I can go to this this horn tape There's a better one on the other side of the bill. What what do you in do? What kind of what kind of cave are you into guys? Just just don't walk in if I leave a if I leave a rock at the front of it We had foot shit in that Yeah, yeah, it's a bunch of cats in this cat cave. Yeah, it's like, you know, Egyptians cats everywhere. There's cats.

Yeah, but what is the connection? If you were in a cat, some people are in the animals now. No. Yeah, well, that's the whole thing. You're talking about, you're talking about shagging animals. Some people are into that. Cat? How did you take it to cats from the animals? They're on it. That's an animal and there are a lot of cats. People, this animal you think you're shagging is a cat. And not me personally, but I'm saying it was glitching. No, you're great cats.

What's like, what's the most common animal that's drawn on a cave? What's like what's the most common animal that's drawn on a cave? Buffalo or a bite? Hands where you are No one Weave my mind guys You know we get it if you need you fucking Egyptian's weren't drawing on caves They were building pyramids and drawing on pyramids. They had jerk off pyramids Okay, it's totally different

Like you go to the cat pyramid? This thing's a cake. Do you want to jerk off with this picture of a human with a raven forehead? Because we have a pluckyful or a pyramid full of that. Yeah, I do that. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe we've had this from, I'm trying to think,

oh, that's it, we've tried the cat shedding. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no work that goes into it and it's a big event. You feel guilty, you're like, I really want to watch one watch like 40 seconds or so. I'm done. It's like, you spent all this time setting up, you finished and you're like, oh man, I'm gonna put all the shit up. You're the guy who's loading the camera, you just accidentally see the frames through the light and you're like, oh, that's all I needed. You didn't even put it in. Yeah, you guys can finish. Gus, when you were a kid was there scrambled porn?

Yeah, of course there was. That doesn't exist anymore. What? It did when I was a kid. I think it's like channel 77. I think it's about the actual signal. It's where it's like it's a channel that you don't get. But it playing porn.

Every now and then it would line up just right. And you could kind of see sort of like... So it'd be like... You would see like, oh is that a boob? I think it is. How could it be just, you know, fuzz? After 9 p.m. though, they turned off the music. That was all audio.

I don't know how they got... I mean, I guess that's how they got people to sign up for the service, right? What, you just hear it? Yeah, You're like, I can pay for this. Wait, you have an audio but you can, you can, you can, you can, I don't know audio. Oh yeah, to me it was just like, like static. You can't even once a while you see a figure of like, so come on, hang out at my house. You see, you had the sort of, you had just audio for you, huh? Video and audio, but like full audio. Yeah, you flip it on.

Yeah. Yeah. So, and we'll plan it well would be the first animal that you think of them we gotta go back to this what do you mean if you have like what animal that somebody you're the one who burst it up we don't have to answer no but you're as you was like what animal I chose you're chosen. No one. I already took it with. I went with foot stuff. That's weird. And then you know that's not count. Dogs are hand-sisters, who knows?

You know, you're the one who gets the different cats and lube and up your dog's mouth every time. I didn't lube up the dog's mouth. You absolutely did. You are changing the story. That's not what happened. At all. It did it on its own accord. The dog likes lube. I have no control. What is this? When did the dog get all catch you up later? His dog ate some, did he just sit at the foot of your bed like this? It jumps up and it jumps on tables. The thing is the breed is so fat and hungry.

They eat everything. Like that's all they do is they just eat. So it does this crazy acrobatic stuff when it can smell something that smells like food. So like jump and flip and then yeah, it just ate a bunch of like a whole bottle of lube. You're lube, you're most like food? Well, strawberry.

Yeah. It's like, you never have to play with it, Lube. Like it's not, I'm just a vanilla kind of guy I so disgusting. Yeah, his dog. He's dog did it twice. Yeah, she's okay Cost me a lot of money never be the same I got my dog what it cost you a lot of money. It's like to call poison control that they eat it's it's it's made to that's why it's flavored Chris you're not meant to eat a whole bottle Like ten pound dog

What's the way what did you call it? I've got a emergency my dog is full of blue. Yeah And I told him and and and not the story of the I'll see you later But they need It's not a cat. Oh, it's trying to give it to the cat No, it might be a dog ate it now it might offense I just said the brand name on the phone and they immediately were like oh well There's all these different types like based on the information you give it. So I'm not the only one this has happened to Probably I mean why would they have all this other I think I got to send let us to your neighbors at some point

Well, God some fair your dogs can't you can't they can't you dry me in this I'm just sitting over here. They've never gone anything they shouldn't been in no some a good dog owner You know what do you mean I keep an eye on my dogs? Why call the times follow them are both are you're a walk all the time? Yeah, but when I'm home like keep an eye on them. Yeah, yeah Those dogs I would never let them get eaten entire bottle of a loop. It just does it I don't even think I think you could eat as much loose you want. I don't think it's gonna do anything You can eat AIDS We can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we we can we can we can we we can we we can we can we we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we we can we can we we can we can we can we organic you could survive on the loop probably for a while right I believe it's organic is it it's their vitamin does anybody have a loop on them I guess they're nutrition like it's not that here I don't know that so I guess actually I do

have some I needed all the time at work like could you eat shampoo no I don't think no not unless it's organic because really pushing this organic thing. Do you want to do what did you do? You know, organic doesn't mean like, safe or anything. No, it just means you pay like $5 or something. No, organic means it means it's made of organic matter, right? You know what's organic? Sionite. Is eyebrow wet?

Did you see that? Organic doesn't mean like, safe for you are in like that We'll avoid the organic cyanide I think you see where you've been watching last man on earth you have you tweeted about it, didn't you? No, no you didn't damn. I have a TV. Really? Someone else did it. It's funny. I'll watch it. I like that guy. I like the gruba.

I was, but it's a, what's it about? It's, he's, it's like, everyone on earth is gone. Oh, it's a good title then. Yeah, and it's just like, it's been a couple of years and it's just like, what does he do?

Or how does he survive? So some of the things like, what can you eat? That's not. Is it like a funny castaway? Kind of, yeah. Yeah, he references castaway a couple times. It's really funny to watch it.

Then then like partway, I guess through the first episode, he finds out that there's a woman who's also survived and he fucking hates her. Yeah. Are you keeping up with any shows that have come back? I feel like a less than an earth I'm watching right now Like are you walking dead? I'm waiting for game of thought. It's had a new Game of Thrones trailer during the Apple thing today Oh, they announced HBO now which is fucking genius. You can now subscribe to HBO without needing cable

Oh, dude, that's what I want. They're launching it now subscribe to HBO without needing cable. Oh, dude. That's what I want. They're launching it exclusively on Apple TV, but you can also watch it on the web browser. If you have a web browser. I have an Apple TV. So there you go. You can watch it.

And it's for exclusive for like three months, right? Yeah, and it starts in April when gamers are on its comes back. And they lower the price. Yeah, the Apple TV is now $60. And HBO now is $49. Wow. It's to be $99. So Apple TV is great.

It's definitely the best Netflix experience. Like it's the best-looking Netflix you can watch is 49.9. Wow. It must be 99. Apple TV is great. It's definitely the best Netflix experience. It's the best-looking Netflix you can watch is on Apple TV. I think it's in my opinion. If you debate it with one thing, but it's like, you know, it's also the way it integrates the other content too, like going to buy movies from another outlet, like everything is just, everything about it is easy. Like every single thing you could click on is just like an easy watching experience. You don't have to like sign out of stuff and then like, you need to validate your phone Everything is just everything about it is easy like every single thing you could click on is just like an easy watching screen

You don't have to like sign out of stuff and then like You need to validate your phone number and all that shit. Oh, yeah solid. I Was going to ask you like if you were the last man on earth Gus like is there Is there any what who? Is there a woman that would that you would be placed with that you would be like? I'm not gonna sleep with her probably was there would there be someone who like made the cut off for you like this person's too annoying or like to yes Yeah, yeah, absolutely you have that person in mind. I have many people like that in mind That's not next, But no, absolutely. Would the human race. I'd be happy with the human race dying. I do that. Follow up was going. Happy. I wouldn't want to continue the human race

with my jeans. I want to restarts humanity from me. Then what step? What's step two? Well, I mean, of you, like, life finds a way or whatever, you know, we just keep like all your kids would have to shag each other until one of them wasn't a mutant, and then that one would have to shag the next one that was normal. I mean, I think you know, I mean, I could like, like, you would have to just like, hope for the best. It'd be a lot of trauma there. The trauma's being earned, yeah. The trauma's being earned, yeah. You'd be clubbing a lot of babies today. You'd be clubbing a lot of babies today.

You'd be clubbing a lot of babies today. You'd be clubbing a lot of babies today. You'd be clubbing a lot of babies today. Damn, this is not been a good podcast for babies. First, you tried to make alcohol from them and now you're clubbing them. Well, at least I didn't show you a cat. I'm just saying it makes sense. What? It just makes sense. No, it doesn't at all.

Anyway, there's no one follow the logic here. Nope. I'll get you guys are all. And the most upsetting thing to me is that we're not getting the logic. That's what I really don't understand. I'm just saying if you say they're porn the drawing and there's a lot of cats we're done with it we're done with cats all right I'm done sorry are you gonna get a gold MacBook? um now I just got my MacBook Air recently oh wait oh again oh wait till they have another one that USB connects it look like it could go both ways what do you mean like you could go like it could provide data out like Thunderbolt. No like oh I think I can yeah, okay. Oh That's cool, which is great because you're sucks

You always gonna make sure the holes on the plug are on the top. I never get that the holes on the plug Yeah, you know when you're you're supposed to plug it in yeah, one side has two holes on it Yeah, you know when that doesn't work When it's like when it's like and that only works when you know that you've been wrong Yeah, so like even if you're right You're not committed enough to plug it in. Why can't I get Siri to tell me like you're like no, no, no, it's not right Just put in the other way Like why isn't there some way to like integrate like your phone already has a lightning connector which goes both ways

No, I thought we're talking about no talking about the computer. Yeah, but Siri wouldn't know what you're doing over there It's not plugged in. Oh, I'm sure they figured out if like you're like jamming on like the No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and your phone's gonna go, uh, other way. It's not. No, no, no, no, it's just gonna be reverse. Yeah, I swear to God, it is. Oh, there wouldn't be plugs and everything will be wireless. What podcast number is this? I'm gonna be 14. All right, well, 315. I will. 314 what I said 14 Have you ever taken a dick pic? This is I'm going somewhere this time you're taking a dick. Hey Go on. No, no, I'm actually I never have never know you know who wants to see my dick nobody

There's nobody in the world wants you my dick you have you you sent you said you? Yeah, but it wasn't mine. What? So you've taken a picture of someone else's dick? Did you try to pass it off as your own? No. No, no,'t someone else's either. What? You say. I just realized I might not be able to say what I'm talking about. Sorry.

Yeah. Chris, go on. Have you taken one, right? Well, go on, finish your story. Well, then I'm just saying. So we're doing something. That means yes, by the way. Yeah.

Wait, did you send it? Someone or did you show it? No, no, we're doing a short work character has to take a dick pick. You didn't have to reveal that, did you? Well, not for real, but it's like, it was like the conversation is like, how do you take a dick pick or like,

what's your, you know, what's your style? I would do it from underneath as a selfie. Yeah, so you're like, wait, so it's like massive and fun. Like if you're doing a selfie, you always want to take a picture from the top looking at you. No, no, no, no, because then're like wait, so it's like massive and fun like if you're doing a selfie I was trying to take a picture from a pop looking at it Because then it's like wow he's a really big face and a small dick. Yeah, yeah, but no you're doing it from your dick

It's like wow look how small his face You don't want to upstage penis exactly Anyway, should we talk about this short and then I was like talking in the I went to the gym with Aaron And we're like working out and stuff and then I was like talking about dick pics really loudly and then I was like Within the context of you know, yeah filming a video. Yeah, which doesn't help when you're talking about filming dick Oh, yeah, I suppose not no, but uh, yeah, so then I it's just like to me. It's like I feel like most people are taking a dick pic I guarantee you at least 50% of the world has not taken a dick pick

all right well they've been at least a hundred percent of the world's received has either taken over cd i mean it's dangerous in our industry to what's in the dick pic yeah yeah uh... i think i see you're you're in the gym right yeah well i'm just people are looking where it's a talk about, it's funny cuz we were talking about this conversation that he had out here And then I realized there's a lot of guests watching the podcast right now

And I have no idea who they are and once again, they think Chris and I was talking about taking dick pics Yeah, so wait, what was the story there then? Oh, I was talking about taking a dick. Oh, yeah, well just and it's like you talk People look at you weird when you talk about dick pics, but I I think it's something that most people have I mean, it's not just I think people look you away when you talk about dicks Yeah, I Think I talk loud is part of the problem, but you're so you're self conscious about it about talking about Of my dick pics both So who has your dick pic? I don't think I know and I don't think at this point. I haven't taken any in a long time.

Like, wait, how young are you? I have. Just my neighbor's got it, that's it. No, but like, yeah, I agree. It's like, you don't want to, in our industry, you don't want to take new, so it's like, I would honestly rather have my anus out there. Oh, yeah.

I did my penis. Yeah. Thanks, yeah. I did my penis. Yeah. Thanks, yeah. I agree with that. Why? I'll be the contrary, and I have to ask why. It's just less intrusive. It's just kind of like, no one wants to talk about the penis.

Yeah, the whole looks. Yeah, there's a lot to talk about. I can't keep you people who are asking that. You could have discussion about some was penis for like five minutes probably yeah someone's a nice to be like what was it like he'd be like it's like just brownish I mean it says less about you as a person why does it say anything about you as a person oh cuz people

be like well he's only doing that because of you know this he is just talking to me this is how people talk to her up a day uh... they're like oh he just got that fancy what it is a lot because he has a small dick or yeah or just being an asshole because he has a you know yeah well like that's why that guy has so much confidence yeah i mean really it's honestly anything

can relate to it but you know that's not like wow that guy bought that nice car because of the that's what that's what that's Yeah, it's like no one knows why what else. He's always so stressed out because his asshole is so small and bunched up. It's like playing a play-doo, like a play-doo start through every time. It's on the toilet. Play-doo. Play-doo-doo. Well, it's about time to wrap up.

Okay, nevermind. You got more? No. All right. Well, we got to go. Alright, well, we gotta go. So we're back on Wednesday with an episode of the patch, Thursday with on the spot, and then again next Monday with a special episode of RT podcast. So thanks for watching everyone. Oh, we can get out!

Oh! What's that? The Force, Richard Washington, as well to lead the momentum of the opponents of the two Super-Sunders, and his no longer fit for duty, he must be eliminated. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Describe this show between newcomer and a more familiar way. Do you like apples? I like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples.

Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples. Do you like apples Describe the show to a newcomer in a more familiar way. Do you like apples? Example. Together in Trempathos, Characombs, Characombs are free of Diaz of nothing to do with this podcast. Analyze various unsolved and rooster teats, cryptic podcast, f*** face. Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise specific but short.

Listen to show name on Apple Spotify or wherever you get podcasts. It's F**k face a podcast. Subscribe or know. You do yes?