Rooster Teeth Podcast - RT Podcast #316

Episode Date: March 25, 2015

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It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers will learn that an Anthony Mackie comes a new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-octane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motormouth outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland. If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church. Twisted metal, streaming now now only on peacock Hello everyone welcome to the Rift 2 podcast this week proudly brought to you by Casper and Squarespace

Where my where my sponsor's at? Way to be at. They're not here. They're here. You got ditched there there. There they are. Oh, Casper. Hey, welcome to the podcast. Hey, I'm Gavin. I'm Gus. I'm Brandon. I'm Blaine. And I'm Gus. Blaine, you have freaking out before the podcast. What's going on? I went in the bog and you were like, I just got back to the gym and then I had to take a shower and I had to put the other one on and did you bust an eye vessel?

Did I? That's when you're right. Does it look like it? It's been lifting hard. No, I'm the Roads. I only made, I went to pee 10 minutes ago and he was in the shower. Yeah. And then I had to get my makeup and then while I was in there, I had plenty of time,

so I plugged my eyebrows. But I just say like you, youanked one off. Brandon had an idea, I hate to say, a Brandon had a really funny idea for a prank. We could have pulled on you while you were taking the shower. Well, was it? I'm just socially awkward, though, to have done it. He wanted to see if we could get as many people as possible to go in and take turns dumping in the bathroom while you're in the shower. That's a disgusting thing.

That's like, that's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a disgusting thing. That's like, that's right. Don't worry about it. It's time. Because I was in there and I was like, oh, gross. How horrible would it be if you're there cleaning your body? And there's nothing but like shit fumes. It's just like, it's counterproductive.

Like you're cleaning it off and then you keep like soaking in it. Yeah, but surely the shampoo and the suds and all that. Well those fumes would block out the feces. It's like, you can't think of that. It's like, oh, like, hey, hey, hey, shit. You stay over there. I probably noticed because I play music when I shower. I was like, listen, this Spotify wasn't.

He would be the only, for the smell. I don't think the music would help the feces, but you would be protected by this layer of, you know, nice smell. And everyone dumping would be dumping and everyone else is dumps, no. Well, no, I think the dumps would totally overweigh the, yeah, overtake all of it.

How would you, how would you ask everyone at the company? Would you have to send it like an every one? I'm too awkward enough to just go up to all these people and just be like, Hey, guy, you think you have to take a shit? Like, I really appreciate Bernie reminding us that, uh, you work out before you appear on camera to pump up. Thanks, Bernie. I'm really glad you're not here, but telling a shit we already know. Hey, Bernie, thank you.

Nice to see you, man. Well, I don't think I would have necessarily been all that clean, because I realized while I was taking my shower, Dan was here, and you guys were shooting a slow-mo guys thing, and he was, he needed to take a shower, and I have a shower supplies up here, because I shower up here all the time.

And I was like, yeah, you could take my shampoo and my soap and stuff. And I was like, while I was like, sudsing up and stuff, I realized like, Dan uses this. Oh, God, you let someone use your bar cell? It's probably just riddled and so, I don't really like cross-eyed girls for some reason.

It wasn't like Squirt, so it was an actual bar. Soapba. Yeah. That's, that's, oh god, I can't, you know that I share. You know that there's two bars of soap just for me. What, what, like one for face, one for noble? Yeah, like one for like all of this and then one for like, in this and the two.

All of that. And like I have a system system two one goes on that part of the bathroom and then this one this one and when I travel they're in different color. They're not like different soaps altogether like in the same brand of soap. They're leery brand. Yeah, you're living dangerously. It's the same brand. I never thought of that. You should be like I are spring for the for my body. Dove. Pure for my junk. For my junk in my butthole, like the unpear of pure. Well, that same bar of soap

that was probably on Dan's balls, was just all over your lips, all over me. So, you can just give it some of that. Yeah, after I realized it, I was like really cleaning it off, I don't know. There's cubes on it.

Yeah, that was thoroughly- There were really cubes on it. Oh. I was about to ask like, does soap get dirty? And you just very clearly proved, yes, soap can be dirty. Yeah, but how do you wash? Like, do you need to shave off layers?

Right, do you? Can I just clean itself? No, you need to another bar of soap. I'm just a smaller bar of soap. You need soap. Okay, I think I broke down with some for a minute. I was thinking about different ways you could clean soap. What do you already call those things that slice up cheese? Cheese greater? Yeah. Or a potato peala. Yeah, that's I broke down. I was thinking about different ways you could clean soap. What do you already call those things that like slice up the cheese?

Like cheese greater? Yeah. Or a potato peela. Yeah, that's something. Yeah. The thing that scrapes cheese. A potato peela. So it's like, what?

I'm in this huge rush and I run into the kitchen naked. I'm like, I'm like, I'm just going to have this bar soap. They don't mind me, you guys. Just, just think soap. Carry on. Don't use these shavings. So how often do you shower? There's a ball hair on this guy. Sorry,avings how often do you shower hair on this guys sorry yeah how often do you shower here at the office I think I shower here at the office more

than I shower my home this is like okay so I'm really curious about the shower here at the studio the shower situation here at the studio seems gross to me yeah like why is it that you shower here so much because I feel like there's really no door like there's a curtain that looks to me like it's going to fall down all the time. And you're basically showering in a little corner of the bathroom with a shelf full of dirty towels. And when do you get dressed? Do you bring your own towels? Yeah, I bring my own towels. Today I had to use a towel that was here because I was in a rush this morning. But no, typically I'll wake up in the morning and I'll go if I work out in the at the gym it's way

better to shower here than to shower where we're gonna shower at the at the it's better to shower here than at the gym because when I was surrounded by like old dudes with their scrots hanging out and stuff yeah well I mean we're be fair there's still some old dudes with their they're junking out here just not as much yeah I just do it it in my office I don't see it quite as much but my big problem with that shower is the curtain is see through I Think somebody bought a curtain because they thought it looked really nice But I can see through it when I'm there so I imagine Why you looking like a one-way shower curtain? We should take a picture of the shack is really tiny It's like two two bugs and then just a shower area.

There's not even any privacy, which change. We should start a mere cat from out there in live stream. What the hell is a mere cat? It's one of those things where I keep here in the term, and I'm too annoyed by it to look up what it means. So now I'm just annoyed, because I don't know. It's just a live streaming app that I can like,

alert and chat with people via Twitter. But we're already using it like, you know, I'm mere cat over there. It's old, mere cat's over. I don't know why over I'm still talking about like Alan sent an email to everyone's like oh my god Have you guys heard about this mere cat? I should applied with the slowpoke meme picture? This is like the the tribe have one or something. They just constantly live stream their office or something I don't know that they do it through a nap I think they just have like an actual live stream on their website. Okay. Well, it's a mere cap

I'm sorry. I'm totally slow and it's down. Is it an app that you can, you put up a phone? Where is it? Where is it called? MirrorCat? MirrorCat? Yeah. That's like an action, that's a breed of cat.

It's an app that runs on your phone. So you launch it, you're like, I want it to be right now and you start a livestream. Oh, that's cool. I thought it was, you like put a camera and then you can see what's happening on your phone. Because I have an app on my, I didn't trust people in my college dorm so I had a laptop open with the webcam and you can oh you're weird security camera no it's not you're weird

no I could see people you may have sex in your room is that what you really had single apartments but people had master keys okay so I can have a roommate no okay that's less weird yeah no that'd be weird yeah well also like there's a little green light on so it's like Like playing swatching us. There's no there's no way to defeat a green light Technology for that has been invented There's no way we could cover it get everyone to wear green sunglasses. Oh No, we see anything Yeah, so it's just a livestream thing. People were talking about a lot of it, self-wise.

Yeah, that's the first time I heard of it, it's self-wise. Like I guess it had launched and when it initially launched, it could hook into the Twitter API so that you could automatically add all of your Twitter friends on Miracat. But then, sorry, getting popular, so Twitter cut them out so they can't use the API anymore. So now you have to manually re-add all of your friends. No, no, no. And then if you like chat with anybody who's running a live stream on Miracat, the chat messages get published to your Twitter stream. It's weird.

Yeah, I don't like that. Yeah, it's, I don't like when people post from my Twitter Facebook. Yeah. So then you'd have to, if your friend, like, sent out a link, you'd click on it and then would load up this app. You can't watch it within the Twitter app. Correct. The Twitter app, or mere cat gets authorization from Twitter to log in, and then it just pops up. So I had to have, I took me while to understand

what Snapchat was. This is about like, I don't know a year ago or so, maybe a little bit more. And like, I had to have like my, you know, 15-year-old cousin explain it to me. And I felt so old. You know what's even worse? Such a stereotype.

This is an actual Google search I performed. How do I use Snapchat? Yeah. Yeah, people are laughing at me in the control room. That's a fucking sobering Google search. I imagine like my parents like, how do I Google Google? You know, fuck, I'm at that point in my life where I'm asking a search engine for help

And that's how you can tell it's geared towards you know young people because there's there's no like options Everything is swiping like you interface with the entire app by just memorizing like how to get to certain places It's like you minority report everything right and then like kids who grew up Yeah, it's kids who grew up like navigating with like iPads and stuff It's not a big deal, but I don't know for me. I'm just like, fuck which way do I have to do that? I'm waiting for the rotary version of Snapchat until they're not just really not gonna jump on board. It's not the best put together at though, because there's a button at the bottom. That is a button, but it has an arrow. So it's like, oh, I want to swipe up. But when you swipe up, then your little controls come up.

See, if you have problems using it, that means you're old. You don't have to swipe up when you swipe up then your little controls come up see if you have problems using it that means you're old you can swap you don't have to swipe up from the bottom you swipe up from the middle of the screen as well I think that indicator's just there to let you know that that's an available action I'm worried that the more of these kind of things that I let just pass me by the harder it's going to be to get back into society when I'm just confused by everything that's absolutely I want to like I want to use everything it's just a shame that all the stuff's really annoying absolutely why I want to like I want to use everything. It's just a shame that all the stuff's really annoying. Yeah, but I want to like like I feel like I want to get an Apple watch just so I can stay ahead and have a smart one. As opposed to a dumb watch. Yeah, my watch is pretty dumb right now.

Give it a swatch. We talk about. Where's it? I'm not wearing it. I've been filming slow mo guys for the last 10 days. I never wear it. I don't break it. Time operates differently. When you're behind the Phantom, like you can't get your watch close to it. I don't know why it just doesn't work. He's the Phantom too long. You end up with a bid and you're gray. It starts slowing down. You're watching. You're watching. You become worthless. You're throwing away. Apparently there's this really good app called Yic-Yak or something. They always advertise it on Twitter, but apparently it's only local, so it's like you can only see what people post on Yic-Yak within like a mile radius I think. But since we live like, you know, close to university, it's like stuff about parties. So well good, but why is it called Yic-Yak? It's annoying. Because Yic-Yak, all other names were taken. Everything else that already been invented. Bernie wants to remind me

He he tweeted at me saying blame just said a mere cat is a breed of cat and you're just gonna let that slide Why is it not? So it's a like a rodent or something right? Don't you remember there was like that TV show mere cat manner. It's like this little rodent You actually think it was like a house cat. Yeah, those things are adorable. You ever see the Lion King? Yeah, those things are adorable. You ever see the Lion King? Yeah, tomorrow Darth Vader's in that movie. He is. Yeah, so is Matthew brother. Anyways, how do I know? Who else is in this movie? Oh, oh, there's new Alfred. There's the British guy. He was awesome. Die hard. Shut up.

Man, how was everybody's South by before we get to South by? No, and acting so I talk about first. Okay, have you all seen the new Mission Impossible trailer? Oh, yeah, the nation or Roach. Yeah, it just came out to me. Isn't it Tom Cruise Jeremy Ranner being ramed out of all the Yeah, and Simon Pegg that's a solid cast. It looks fucking good. I love Simon Pegg But the last movie had too much Simon Pegg Yeah, I wasn't a fan of Ghost Protocol. I really like you seen where they're hiding behind that projection screen and like push it Oh, yeah, I thought that was really cool. Oh, is this the cool way over here? Oh great. This is this will get us a take down from YouTube It looks so good. I mean it just looks like super actually like I feel like every time they release a mission possible trailer

It's like well, we did the you know, we did fucking crazy shit last time. What are we gonna do that's you crazy to top it this time? I'd say we did the impossible Just on myself it's not something like an idiot. There's even a part where in the trailer where the lady's like To stop them as impossible and then Tom Cruise like smiles It's pretty good fucking Tom Cruise on a plane. I bet he did that too, you know, because he's like, you know, no first crazy stunts You don't think the green screen better anything. I I would imagine that Tom Cruise is like yeah Really took off you think Chris really held on to the side of a plane. Yeah, as it took off he went up that fucking tower and Dubai Yeah, but the insurance on that would would have been nuts. Yeah, but it's on a plane that's taken off

Do you see him on Oprah where he's like jumped around? He's nuts You think in the first mission possible. He jumped from an exploding helicopter into another helicopter? Maybe okay, I'd have to watch that wait what maybe that first mission possible he's Yeah, it's on sort of trained in me. Oh was it a train? Was it two choppers? There was a train. Oh, okay I bet he jumped and then it like he was on that plane it crashes and the blade is like yeah like right It's like how he took the time to give that like one call back, the red light green light with a gum. Couldn't just do it.

He had to make a reference to something that had happened previously. It's like, say I would know. It's like saying pay attention audience climax. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I actually tweeted about that not too long ago, because I think they were supposed to do a winter release, but they didn't want to compete with somebody so they pushed it to this summer. What are you talking about mission possible? Oh, okay, they had not said anything that that was like the first trailer

But it's supposed to be coming out like in a couple months the first movie is not cool Not like it has I liked it, but it's just it has a lot of moments like when the guys riding the lift up And then the lift breaks come down and go through the top of his face It's gruesome. I'm gonna watch in that as it can and be like oh was that a part of the elevator though They look like something that someone just put there. I thought it was like the breaks that catch the elevator when it's at the top I don't know. I know it was really too fucking sucked to a shit The two is the one with with everyone taking each other's face off and I was really confused Yeah, every two seconds someone takes a lot of Tom Cruise, and I was really confused. I see them. Yeah, every two seconds, someone takes their face off. There's a lot of Tom Cruise, but I'm really Douglas Garz.

There's like a birds and doves flying around all the time too. Three was pretty damn good. I assume he didn't want the TV show for Mission Impossible, right? I look 60s, man. I see a few. Like they're real. Apparently like everybody who was in,

all the characters that were in the TV show died in the first five minutes of the first movie. Like if you love the TV show and you went to see a movie adaptation, would you walk out of the theater if that happened? I think. And then the bad guy was like the good guy in the show. Like I think, you know, by that point, everyone knew it was like a Tom Cruise movie. I'm sure John Boyd.

I think yeah, Jeff. Yeah. Yeah. Wasn't Leonard Nimoy in the show? I'm not crazy. I think you are correct. I could be wrong.

This could be another mere cat situation. Um, Bernie texted me to remind me that I didn't know this actually. Simon Pegg quit his Twitter account. Really? In December. He said that, I don't know, just his quote was, I haven't been enjoying it for a while now. There hasn't been a specific incident, and the reasons are various.

Ultimately, I think we've just grown apart. What I'm saying is, it's not you, it's me. And now, some other people run it, like other people on his PR team. There's not here. He has had 5.4 million followers. Yeah, I guess it makes sense not to delete it then. I just had it over. Yeah.

I'm sure that will happen more and more. Would people just get done with it? You think of it? Facebook, people are being in their Facebook. Well, I wonder if you I'm sure that will happen more more people just getting done with it Like think of it. It means Facebook people are being in their face folks And so well has anyone registered for the Chinese Twitter. I think it's on Sina. I have my account Why from when they take over? Yeah, and like media just becomes more and more global and cultures Just keep to get like keep getting like more like fuchs together. I bet you like every celebrity like has Well, yeah, but you keep I mean mean, it keeps integrating more and more and more and more. So the one that's such a valuable market if everything integrates?

Well, I'm just saying like the way in which you communicate to people. Like, there are certain things that are just more popular. Like, they're the user base on that service. It's never going to migrate to Twitter. But yet, you can start selling like products to them slowly as like other like major corporations have done within China. So you want to sell stuff to the Chinese? Yeah, you're on the side.

The brand of Charmahini brand? No, there's a Mr. Farminghine. Brand of Charmahini. I'm just holding on to it. I'm going to weigh it. You don't know Chinese. You don't have a brand either. It's okay.

You don't even know Chinese. You have nothing. Like literally, I'm trying to picture what is the brand in farm a heany brand it is a pug eating loop like that's all I've been here for like 30 years or seven years yeah and what are you doing that's the thing that's your thing now man what is your thing like you can't tell me what you think is two point oh that was a thing that followed me around for it's either a pug eating loop or it's The South poles in the north you Really right out. I'm all these two things are right. I'm gonna tell you right out cold

But I remember talking to him and we're just talking about how he used to be Ruchite fans in town So we're working for us for Ruchite now, but he said don't tell Brandon, but I had a brand in two point no sure Yeah, there were only a hundred and twenty of those sold and I had six and he had one I didn't think I have a brand in 2.0 shirts. Yeah, there were only 120 of those sold. And I had six of them. And he had one. I didn't think I had a soul that show. I sent you one, you didn't wear it. You sent me one? Yeah.

You did not. I thought we were friends. Oh, but it reminds me. It had the cute little robot on it. That Luke McCay had put on my character from the RD Comics. Oh, so we do have a T-shirt? This week's T-shirt Tuesday. That's awesome. It's team Salt and vinegar.

Why don't you understand the reference? You don't get it? Do you watch a team hunter? Oh, I was making a prank on those reference jokes, but is that a first achievement hunter shirt? There it is. Two-search Tuesday. We got Tuesday. Team Salt and Vinear. Yeah. I think it's something to say about South Byer out Tuesday, team Salt and Miner. Yeah. I think it's something to say about South Byer. Oh yeah, South By. I thought South Byer went really well. I had a lot of fun doing last one.

He ran the whole time. It did. Only towards the end. But I had a lot of fun in the last Monday's podcast, having Sally join us to talk to. That was really awesome. Yeah. I thought that bit went really well. Initially, my head was like, we'll just is bringing off like 10 15 minutes of talking and

Nothing go back, but then it was like she held a bird. I thought it wouldn't really was like oh this is this is going good What do people think about the punk? I think we're we're genuinely pretty happy about it We learned from our last South by Southwest and we got the headphones this time So we could hear each other. That was the worst. Oh gosh. It was so awkward. I ran an audio on that and I was just like Did we ever talk about that? Like, what happened last year? I'm sure we have. We can go over it. You know, we did the Joe Rogan, the podcast with Joe Rogan. And, you know, we didn't think about it,

but it's like if you have a venue that's open to the public with free liquor, people are gonna come in and drink free liquor, and when you get up on stage to start talking, they don't give a fuck what you're saying. Yeah. So it's like, it was really difficult for us to hear each other Yeah, and we couldn't hear them either in the audience So I started to go up to people individually and just ask them to kind of keep it down so we can hear everything

But a lot of them were like MMA like douchebags So needless to say no, they definitely didn't get quieter But they were just like didn't even wait for me to leave before they started just like telling me attendees of basically a potty to be like but it was a rooster tea ish party there's it was brandy no rules itself by Southwest ice i was on six street trying to film stuff with recap i was seeing drug deals just like

i saw like five drug deals and then when we're at the russians are one of the russians parties people were just coming in and i was kind of a little drunk little saucy and i was like going up to people i did not know who they were and they at the russet, or one of the russet parties, people were just coming in and I was kind of got a little drunk little saucy And I was like going up to people. I did not know who they were and they did look like russet fans like hey out of curiosity Do you know what this party's for? And they're like I don't know free booze and was like oh cool. No, I mean granted I've been that guy Yeah, a lot, but I mean if there was like a show going on, I you know, I'd be respectful

Be respectful lots of attractive people come to Austin. Oh, yeah, the South by city experience Yeah So that's brilliant South by Southwest. It's an experience. So we had somebody There's this like vendor that I work with a lot and I just have one contact from them in the other in New York and They were here for South by and they kept inviting us to go out. We're kind of like, ah, it's probably going to be kind of boring. It's probably somebody who's just, you know, a count person's kind of want to take us out and probably not are really our speed. And then I looked her up on Facebook and I was like, oh my God, blame this girl is so hot. So I like, Senator, and we just felt so stupid because we kept

blowing her off and it was too late. Yeah. I didn't get hang out there. I was really bummed. Judge the book by his cover. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh my God. So I'm checking Twitter here. Who sent me this? Bernie saying something.

Bernie's like, my's will be here. Can we say where he is right now? We'll get to that in a bit. Okay. So Mike, who is skilled warman on Twitter, just sent me a link to a story saying that the plane stunt in that mission possible trailer is real. Fuck yeah, I told you guys. Tom Cruise's nuts!

He'll do anything. That is absolutely insanity. Yeah, I saw that and I was like, Tom Cruise totally fucking do that. I said that to like three people and I'm like, nah, you're crazy. Oh my god, there's fucking like pictures of it. I'm like him on the side of a plane with like a temporary shot. I'm sure he punched trapped in and everything. Yeah, you can see the tether here.

Because like, I don't think anybody can hold onto a plane while it's lifting off, but he can. But still, it's like even with that, it's like if something goes wrong, you get hit in the head, you're just like a flopping piece of meat being slammed up against the side of a plane. What would hit him in the head? The plane.

Let's see if I can get this image up here. Maybe like a bird or something. That's not quite working. Well cool life. Go shit. Jersey the video where Ben Stiller pretended to be Tom Cruise's stunt double. Not there in like yours promoting the second mission impossible movie. I'm trying to get the target. Oh, he didn't like the thing on. No, it's terrible. We talked about this.

No, if he did that sky scraper climbing thing in Dubai, then I don't think the plane was that big of a deal to him. Yeah, but I just picture with the Dubai thing, there's a lot more safety. You can actually have rigs. There is on the top. Sorry, there's the photo there. That's really cool. I guess at the end of the day,

if that's how you die, that's not a bad way to go out. How do you want to go out? Never. Live forever. You have to. I will watch the sun, like just completely gobble the earth up. Speaking of fighting death, I think someone misunderstood something I said on the podcast a couple of weeks ago. I don't remember. I talked about that story where researchers were using diseases to fight cancer. Yeah. And they would inject people with like smallpox or HIV or whatever to kill the cancer. Someone on Twitter got really upset with me. I was like, what the fuck, Gus? Why would you tell that story? They gave that little girl age just to stop her cancer. They're not giving them these diseases. The diseases are engineered to just fight the cancer

and then go away. Also, why did they know what it you for that? I know. What can you imagine? This is the research they're doing. Like, listen, we know you're sick. We're gonna give you something else instead just to see what happens.

Or they're worried somebody listening to the podcast with cancer is gonna go out and just get AIDS themselves. Oh no! Brandon! No. He's saying, man, that's absurd. As we talked about in the podcast, it's a very controlled scenario.

There's a whole lot of work that goes into it. So I can't believe someone was in that job. Hey, brosky. Might pass me a bruise key. Can we say where Bernie is? Is that okay? Bernie, can we say where you are? Tell us where you can? Yeah, tell us Bernie

I just because I wanted to punch him through my screen when I saw where he was We'll see if you we'll see if you text something about it I was also say oh has anybody else seen That HB on many series of jinx so you tweet about that. What is that? So I had no idea this this show was going on until like after the last weekend was the finale It was a six-park documentary and I didn't know anything about this until the finale aired and everyone was tweeting about it because it was crazy It's a what are you doing? pouring beer

into Is that a plastic a cup? You ever see the protein powder you got a protein beer? Yeah,. What was in, what could some of my feet? You ever see the first one? Protein powder? You got a protein beer? Yeah. Isn't protein in beer? There is.

I think I... I think you could actually, there's nothing. You should have a cooking show where you just add protein to grab the food. That's a good, cool. Yeah, it's running low. It's almost empty. How long have you had that tub? A couple months. So how does that work? work like if you have me like Friday if you have like a kilogram of that

Does it add a kilogram to you of muscle like does that become you I don't know what's the ratio that much of that Way most of it out right? Oh, yeah, you call this this wasn't work. It looks like it's like solidifies like solid water So one scoop per eight ounces One and a half oh god Rose look at the bottom. It's not dissolving it off for people who are it's poorly listening and I'm gonna have to shake it This is gonna be all foaming. Blaine is putting protein powder into a beer And I'm gonna just go and support it. It's it's not dissolving. It's bubbling maybe and

Shake I think you should, like roll it. Yeah, tumble it. Tumble it? Because otherwise it will foam everywhere. I think it's gonna go in those little metal balls. Oh yeah, there you go. I've never seen this dumb before.

Well, you're not gonna really see it because oh my god, that. Ooh. It's turning like a milky white. What flavor is that? A protein better. Chocolate. So it's chocolate and beer. Chocolate beer. That of Pro-Ti-Better? Chocolate. Chocolate and beer.

Chocolate beer. That's a thing. I drank one the other day. It's pretty good. What if we're seeing the invention of like a multi-billion dollar product? I heard on NPR earlier that, who was it? I want to say in Japan,

who was it? One of the breweries in Japan announced that they're going to start marketing and selling a health beer. Really? Yeah, it's like a non-alcoholic beer that they purport has health benefits. And check it with AIDS. We didn't say it was good health benefits.

So what's the point? I mean, if it's not alcoholic, it's just Yeezy. She's just been yeezy. I'll see why you look it up. It's it's gonna I don't know why I want a gag It's the protein beer is fighting bling now Oh It's not bad it actually tastes like a coke float you don't try no actually tastes like a Coke float. You don't try? No. It tastes like a Coke float. What's a Coke float?

Coke float? It's a, you take Coke and you put ice cream in it. It's nice and foamy and delicious. Yeah, do you want some? No, I'm good. Come on. It's good. I can't, I can't find the story. I'll have to go through. I'll have to go through. I'll have to go through.

I'm absolutely not. I'm always fascinated by like stuff that you put into yourself and it becomes... That's what I was most amazed about when I had a kitten And I how my bag of cat food just turned into a bigger cat like I watched the bag of cat food go down I watched the cat get bigger from like one bag of cat food. I was like It's amazing. It's a shame that you don't see it when you're fully grown So I read something maybe you can you can back to set. I don't remember where I read this but

I was reading facts about exercising. And they said that when you work out, like if you're trying to drop weight, that the majority of your weight loss comes through when you exhale the carbon dioxide. What? Like, so I mean, I don't know that that's true necessarily, but it got me thinking,

so when you work out and you lose weight, what's happening? Where is that going? What's the inverse of the cat eating food and getting bigger? If you work out and get smaller, what happens to the extra you? Sweat. Do you sweat yourself out? I don't know. Where does it go? Well, I mean, you lose weight from like dust, right? Like your skin just falls off. But like let's say you're burning fat. Yeah, like does your body just metabolize that fat unless your fat gets pulled from your body into your turds and then you shit out I feel like a lot of it's liquid, you know like we're Sally like wrestlers will

Will bundle up and they'll they'll like sweat shit out, you know So and you know like son is and stuff like that. I really don't I'm not gonna claim to be an expert on this at all But I think a lot of it might be You know getting it out through Sweat But yeah, cuz we do think about it. Actually, that doesn't make sense though. Yeah, if you work out like actual physical exertion Yeah, it takes a lot of work to burn calories It's like you can work out, you know, you walk a couple of miles. It's like oh cool. You burn 20 calories Yeah, like you can't lose weight by eating whatever you want and then just going on a bicycle for like 20 minutes. Right. Yeah

We've got three battles like that. What is the most efficient form of like casual exercise? It's like I had swimming is really good even though it's not swimming is like full body. Yeah, especially if you're a shitty swimmer I have like intentionally not learned how to swim very well I have no technique because that means I have to work a lot harder. That's why I'm in a shorter amount of time. I know how to swim. So you live up a cruise ship, you'll know.

This sucks, but at least I'm butting the fat. I know, I know how to swim, and I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna drown, but when you look at me, it's just like, is that guy having a seizure? Cause it's a mix of like doggy paddle and like slamming my arm down. But I tell you what, like two laps for me is like 20 laps for, you know, it's a person who's just really good at swimming.

So you know what else makes swimming a lot better of a workout? Floating three feet under the surface. I have to struggle to do that. Have we done a test? I need you guys to talk to one of my cats. What's that? That's what it's muscle sinks. I'm all muscle baby. I have to struggle I need you guys Muscle sinks I'm all muscle baby

Once they open up the pool across the street we should absolutely go there and test this With a little bit of a burning face down floating like a corpse and me on my back floating three feet under the water like a corpse I see it in between you just normal You're both idiots and I'm just floating happily I don't float three feet under water by choice It's like I'm stupid happily. I don't float three-fifl under water by choice. I'm stupid for it. Oh yeah, I don't float. Not like the idea of you floating three-fifl under water.

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I'm really glad that Casper's a sponsor again. I actually heard this is unrelated to the AdWreed. I heard a story about Casper on, I think it was on NPR, I think it was on Marketplace talking about how this company's like, they always talk about like disruptive technology and disruptive companies. I was like super disruptive for the mattress industry because the mattress industry is just like a big fucking sham. It's like, recent retailers will say they have an exclusive mattress, but it's just the same mattress with a different name.

Yeah. Why would you want an exclusive mattress, but it's just the same mattress with a different name. Yeah. Why would you want an exclusive mattress? Yeah, they tried to do that to get you in the store, and that there's all this overhead as a result of that. And that when you buy it from, you know, from a Casper, it's just like direct to you, no show rooms, no middlemen, and how like they've really redefined the whole mattress by experience. Yeah, you're not paying for crap like that you don't need. Right.

You're not paying for fucking floor space. Someone to need right you know I'm paying for fucking floor space Someone to come up to you and tell you this mattress feels good I was amazed at how expensive matches are it's insane. It's like having never bought one until I was 25 like you can finance a mattress. I didn't know that that much I I actually have the mattress that makes this to use in college which sometimes I think oh Sorry, they make you feel so bad, because all of the value mattresses are just like stuff like in these rows. And you have to go there and like pick it up,

while everyone else is looking at you buying the floor mattresses. Yeah, great. So have it delivered to your house and say $50 who Casper. And then it comes in a box and like, it was really collection. When you cut it open, it's like vacuum seal per and that comes in a box and like it was really collection when you cut it open it's like vacuum seal so it comes in a box that's maybe like I got the queen size it's like a little bigger than that

table you're shaking me yeah and it's like you cut it open and it's like it's inhaling for the first time it just like it expands like holy shit like the whole mattress was in there that's one more person I don't have to interact with in my life yeah it's great the fucking delivery man just left it on my front door sweet I appreciate products where it's fun to open them for the first time

Oh, yeah, Meg got this love sack thing Mm-hmm, it came in a really tiny box But this menobly like seats three and basically you open it and it's all squished in and like vacuum seals And you basically just beat the shit the shit out of it until this big like it like comes apart and it's like Yeah, until you have to return something like that. Yeah, like putting toothpaste back into the tree. It's like this is gonna work. Um, yeah, so Bernie said we can't match where he is. He's at the you know, you have to say what the email said. Oh, Oh, oh, do you have it? No, I can remember it though. What are you mean? Basically before podcast, Gustin's out on email on Sunday night and he says, hey, do

you guys want to be on podcast? He'll send it to everybody that wants to be on. And, you know, I said, I'll be on, Gavin said he'll be on. And then Bernie said, I won't be able to make it because I'm at the Game of Thrones season 5 premiere. I didn't have to tell you that, but I just wanted to say that because it was cool or something like that. It was a brag.

It was total brag. And I was just like Oh, sir I didn't know there were premieres for a TV show. I've never heard of that before That common thing I think we've done it. Yeah, the past few seasons the game of Thrones They're gonna start streaming it at iMacs is to I want to do that didn't they did it last year? No like last month to the shoot with iMacs camera. It's not how you know they showed the Last two episodes episodes and then yeah, the preview for season five. Well, I just know because like the Austin like the moody theater that iMac's theater in Austin.

The Bob Bull Theater. What did I say? Moody. That's not correct. No, that's not correct. That's why I did you. I was wrong. I read an article today where the showrunners for Game of Thrones explicitly confirmed the show will now start spoiling stuff for the books. Really? Yeah, they said the show will definitely end before the books and so what's the point? I mean, stuff from books that haven't come out.

Yes. Oh, the show will reach a point where it's going to start spoiling books. Didn't they also say that they were going to start diverging from the book's past? Yeah, they got a lot of walking dead. And they did say there would be some differences. Yeah, but that there was, there is a lot of overlap. There's like, there's overlap, but there's like characters that will live in the book

and die in the show, which I think is like, they need a set of presidents, you know, like for that from the get go. I think that's already happening. It's happened once before I released, yeah. I'm finally caught up. I'm so excited because I can actually participate. He read every book. No, no, no, I'm just caught up in for so excited because I can actually participate you read every book

No, no, no, no, I'm caught up in for blame. I think we show yeah watch all the You guys all read them no no I read I read the first one so don't laugh That was really funny Yeah, well now I'm caught up I'm excited. So you can start going to the game thrones nights and know what the fuck's going on Cool. Tell him I tell him I didn't say hi But that starts April 12. That's like two weeks away the two and a half weeks away. Yeah a little more than two and a Weeks probably is April Well, first holy shit

Yeah, then we think about RTX Yeah, I'm excited because RTX this year is August 7th to 9th by your tickets now. So this is my first 4th of July in like four years, where I don't have to do something because I'm not organizing. Oh, you're just gonna stay home. I'm gonna have the most freedom ever. Part of me like once to hang out and do like last time I had a 4th of July off. It was fucking great and went out with friends and went drinking and stuff like that. But I feel like obligated to go to back to my family's house I don't really want to it is the point that July's not like a family holiday It's not but the Gibson's make it one. We had this big, you know, staying up in Oklahoma and

Do you like chest-paint the American flag on yourself? Fuck yeah No, we do redneck shit and light stuff on fire. It's fun, but it's not like I can't get drunk and with that my dad being like doing your cousins ever throw firecrackers at one another. Oh, we've had wars before I've proposed that we've had Roman candle fights for our two life like several times because those are so much fun I was sure that's just completely battle scarves got holes all over it because I've just got blasted with Roman candles Didn't we try doing that? No, we try to start a smarty life that never came out. We try to do a sparkler fight Yeah, it didn't really work you put sparklers at the end of a fishing rod and you wanted me to

hit Kyle with it and it just didn't work out. Yeah, we were trying to have like a duel with fishing poles and like sparklers at the end of it. The first swing you would see. It sounded like a great idea. Doesn't sound like a great deal. It did not work at all. So, at some point, I'm going to get back to the jinx, but I just saw Lower and Juice Something. I can pull it up here. What'd she draw? She drew your quote, Blaine. Darth Vader was in the Lion King.

Oh, that's fucking cool. I think she was. More in? That's awesome. So, for people who are listening out here, if Darth Vader was a lion in the lion king, it's dope as hell. So yeah, the jinx. Like I said, I hadn't heard anything about it until the finale aired last weekend.

And I really didn't click with me. And then this past weekend on Saturday, I was like, okay, I'm going to watch this. It's only six episodes that are like 45 minutes each. So I'm going watch this. It's only six episodes that are like 45 minutes each. I'm gonna try it out. It's a six part documentary about Robert Durst, who is the heir to the Durst family's fortune. They own like a ton of skyscrapers in Manhattan. Like they have the exclusive leasing rights

to one world trade center and they own 10% of it. Oh wow. And he like, it's like, I'll summarize. He kind of fell out of favor with the family and they chose his younger brother to take over the business. Fred Duss. And so this guy, like, in 1982, his wife disappears mysteriously.

And the case never gets resolved. And then in 2000, he finds out that the case, or in 99, he finds out the case is gonna be reopened. So he like goes to Galveston and try to hide out. In Galveston in 2000, he kills his next, well, he's accused of killing his next door neighbor and then goes to trial, doesn't stick. And then like a year later, his best friend in LA

mysteriously dies. And the rumor was that she was going to talk to the New York prosecutors about the Sanctuary story. Yes, it's all true about his ex-wife, his wife's disappearance. And the documentary just follows like each of these incidents and like this weird crazy life that this guy has going on. That's him. It's really, really fascinating. Do they have those like shit, you know, like black and white actor things where it's like actors? The reenactments. Yeah. There's no reenactment. Thank God. This is a very beginning of the first episode actually has a very

short reenactment. But it's like 30 seconds long. Those are always making a lot. No, it's terrible. Yeah, I'm glad they didn't do those. It's really good. You should absolutely watch it. How do I watch that? It's on HBO. So if you got like HBO go you can watch it So it's not about the Pokemon. It's about something else. That was a racist Pokemon. Jinx. Oh, yeah, there's a blackface Pokemon Yeah, was it? Yeah, yeah, and they changed it to purple. Yeah, it was all gray though, right? It's on a Nintendo like a I think well The show is oh okay, right and the the Pokemon cards Pokemon cards. I had a shit Tano did you really oh yeah, they still have my house and dolls How many oh

Man so many duplicates I wouldn't even know but a counting duplicates I mean I had a binder this thick and they had nine holders per and I just I mean I filled it You know like I was I watched some significant fights at school over Pokemon cards like people to be like Just fights. Yeah, my my neighbor fucking stole What did he steal I think I'm a champ in a in a in a the punching one? Oh, that's a jinx. Yeah, I think that used to be black Yeah, no it used to be different anyways my mom I remember my mom going over and showing this kid's ass You give my son back his Pokemon cards and he's just like fucking crying his mom's like yelling at her

Yeah, one of my friends went over to another friend's house to like swap some stuff Mm-hmm, and he like knocked on the door. He's like yeah, he's all my Pokemon cards I see what we got his mom just came over took the binder and was like we'll get back to you and close the door and he was like what and then like that guy's dad went over and they were like pounding on the door and it was like I was a whole thing. Pokemon fever went fucking nuts I remember when I was a kid going to a target in the toy section while my parents were like in the clothing section or something and I was looking and they had one left in stock it was a Pikachu stuffed animal and I

started walking towards it in a fucking grown woman runs in front of me and grabs it off the shelf before I could grab it like she saw clearly that I was I remember being like I don't know eight and I was just like yeah people went and that's where that stuff is like the Furby fights yeah I think those are on the same time that yo-yo's came back after like a hundred years. Yo-yo's came back? Yeah, you didn't remember that? Everybody had a yo-yo.

I don't remember the yo-yo. No, you must have seen them everywhere. Kids would just be hanging out. I just got to the fucking toy store. It was because they put like those clutches in them which meant if you were crap at yo-yo, you're good. Yeah, you can just come up on it sitting and then it like had all these lights. Man, I had a pink dunk in yo, yo, I still have that thing. That's awesome.

My brother had a like a bumble, it's got a bumble bee. Do you have it? Are those your? Is that one the ones that like looked like a butterfly kind of thing? It was just like a normal looking, it was like a hundred quid. It was really expensive. They got up there. It was like all in the little gears and stuff and then.

I had an X-brain and I did around the world and it flew off. Yeah, it was around the world, it flew off yeah those around the world did it disappear it did I mean you remember walking the dog yeah the walk the dog he's just amazing like the guys who like brought that back like what brought yo-yo that's been around forever like I don't know why they didn't try like the cup and ball we had a school assembly where like a professional yo-yo where which is apparently thing. Yeah. Came and did her whole fucking, you know, and I remember my mom's a teacher, so I was like, can I get her autograph? You got the most worthless autograph ever.

Yeah, wait, the same, like some guy called, like, Yo-Hans or something. Yeah, it's a double scrap. Yeah, bum movie. Oh man, look at it go. But I bet it was just some dude. It's a great picture. Some dude was looking at the list of like old toys and was just like, yeah, yo-yo, we'll do that again. Yeah, and just like the list of like old toys. I'm just like yeah, yeah, we'll do that

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's go back and like I would love it if we could bring back the ball in the cup. Yeah, oh Bond co we should we shouldn't make those and give it away Like a rist of the back sir that our tea and the concert at RTX. It's funny when you're you guys are trying to come up with What we're gonna give away for RTX because anything noise related guess is like fucking shut it down, you know, cuz it's really real Last up. Yeah, so last self-by self-twist they gave out like whistles. I don't even think they're just oh dude You know we should give away. Do you ever have those tube things with like a weight in one end? Perfect. Yeah, we should just give those away. I was accurate.

Give out those. No. Yeah. People have suggested like, boo-boo-sweilers or like the sticks that you like pound in. Boo-boos-ayles. They're in Mcnooy. Yeah.

Can you imagine the podcast? Woo. No, not happening. By the way, I know now everyone's going to bring one. I always assumed that these conversations are so boring for anyone who didn't like get in that yo-yo phase, which I mentioned the window was like, what, maybe five years,

if you were in those years of school. So I apologize if it's just like really tough. I don't apologize. I'm sure everybody can appreciate how stupid it is. Yeah. Did you have go-gos? Go-gos. Tell me, like line them all up and you like ping them

and you try and hit another line of them on the other side Oh, that's is that like a what I go to use Newton whatever Newton's cradle No, I do it like that. Yeah, that's basically what you described though, right? Totally different this one has yo-yo remember bay blades or whatever or whatever they were called where you fucking rip You're gonna pop in you just rip those things up and they like spin around. Oh, I had one of those. Yeah. Yeah, man. Did you have a? Do you have pogs? Oh, man, what what did you back in the past? What did you have? Did you know that? I had a pog maker by the way. Did you know that you've on worked at pogs? No? We should get her autograph!

She won! She was like the CFO of Pogs. What?! Yeah, y'all didn't know that. There it is! Yeah! Why is that like... Pogs went away!

I wouldn't have been to his Vongs house. But he saw that literally just like one day it was like you know Pogs were amazing and the next day it was like oh yeah nobody's buying them now. I bet if we go to Vongs house she's just got like a room That's just like the entire wall just pugs. That'd be pretty sick When I was a kid we had it's probably the same shit. It all comes back around Transformers the desert go box. Yeah shit yet all that stuff got recycled because I remember he man the masters of universe I fucking love that as a kid you know, I said in when I was at dice. I sat in on a Talk that was given by a guy who used to work at Mattel and he was the guy who came up with the idea of

Making the cartoon to sell the toy like he man was his idea Well, he was like yeah, and he was like we you know, we want to make this toy this He's he had worked a lot in Barbie, he worked in Barbie for decades. He's like, we want to make a doll, we can sell to boys, but we're going to make a cartoon first to make them like it, and then it'll just be a commercial for the toy. That's interesting. Yeah, that was his idea. They hadn't done that. And that was a model for all kids like programming for the next G i joh now now yeah

Jeff thunderbuds oh yeah thunderbirds are go yeah it wasn't they combined well everything combines right yeah you got to buy a mall you're an idiot if you don't thunderbuds were just what do you buy a different

vehicles and then don't they combine to like a mech no you know Voltron maybe uh... i'm thinking of Voltron Power Rangers i mean i don't they combine to like a mech no You're a Voltron maybe I'm thinking of Voltron in Power Rangers. I mean, I don't think I did Thunderbird I think Thunderbird 4 was inside of Thunderbird 2, but that's about it. Okay, no, I don't think it's a Thunderbird It was like the Amerian net program, right? Yeah, yeah, I remember watching that the original the 60s wasn't it? I'm working on the nostalgic. Yeah, but I thought it was an American show, but it's not it's a British show But everyone in it is American. You can't tell by the terrible American accent. No, I don't know what you're saying as a kid. Unless they were doing that weird sort of

trans-Atlantic accent that kind of is written in the middle. What does that sound like? It gives you a bit of strength. Man, man. I don't know. I can't do it. Someone, I love when people are idiots on Twitter. Someone tweeted me, he was like, hey, aren't you going to talk about how in the jeans like blah blah blah I was like yeah, well what you're talking about is like the culmination of watching the whole thing. No, I'm not gonna spoil it For everyone about jinx act one interior I had a bad experience at South by I went and saw a lot of movies And I got into ex machina and apparently they it was the first of two screenings in North America

were shown itself by Southwestern, the second one, really, really fucking good movie. And I wanted to see it because of Domel Gleason and Oster Isaac Rinnett and they're going to be in Star Wars. Anyways, saw Rupert T Fan out there and he said, hey, to me and Aaron Chris. And I saw him later at another screening and I was a little drunk and we were in line waiting for this movie. And he's like, oh, hey, Blaine, I was like, oh dude, how do you like X-Mock and I, you know, stirred talking about X-Mock and I, yeah, yeah, and then I was like, oh man, and I just completely unaware of my social surrounding. I was like, remember at the end when blah blah blah blah blah blah and I said the ending and then the joke about it and it was just like, immediately 12 people in line were like, FUUUUUU I was like drunk. I was like what's going on

And then I then the guy like looked me in the eye and he's like you just ruined the ending to X-Mock and I was like And I just turned around I didn't say anything to anyone else after that Is fuck your apologies playing Gibson. I felt really bad But I didn't want to say sorry to have it in me with six cents, I was going to see it and then some guys walking out. We're like, I can't believe Bruce Willis is dead. Spoiler. So I'm, oh, man, I would have tackled that guy. So you want to tackle yourself? Oh, Blaine, your shirt's all off.

Never happened to anybody on the podcast before. Yeah. I was that dickhead though in line. Man, I felt really terrible. The only thing I saw was Fast, it was furious That it's the ritz at the paramount. Oh, it was cool. They get And why was it watching a movie there like it's that seems like a weird movie venue to me is pretty nice I always I watched the Veronica Maz movie that's like it's it will look cool. It's like, that's fine. This movie called The Invitation, which is crazy. I don't want to get too in depth with the movie

because no one gives a shit. Other than that, how would your South by go? We give a shit, Blaine. OK. I thought South by went really well. It was pretty busy, like the first weekend, with panels and networking and stuff. But after that, it was a lot better after that.

I got to see one of the tapings for the Jimmy Kimmel show, which is pretty cool. I guess I saw the one. I wanted to go to the one where Kanye was going to be, but then he canceled and he didn't go. It's your last Kanye. I was going to take my picture that I'd autographed to myself, and I was going to see if I could meet him and have him autographed a picture of me. I had fun hanging out with you and Dan because he was he was talking to some woman

Dan's into and it was like it was talking to her for like half an hour and then I was talking to you, Blaine in the corner and I was like, it's going pretty well over there with Dan and Blaine you were like, what could I hand? And she had an engagement ring on or some sort of wedding ring. I was like, I guess he hasn't noticed. And then you like, did you tell Dan? Well on awesome sort of wedding ring. I was like, oh, I guess the other news And then you like did you tell that well? I walked up to him and I was like, oh, hey guys lead over to then engagement ring So do you guys want another dream? And then damage is like looked at it. Yeah, he was pre-bonded

I didn't see him talk to the rest of the night I didn't think to look and Dan was like you look at that kind of stuff But I guess I've guess I've just never been good at being single well I wouldn't even think to look at women's I'm a pro yeah you like walked in analyze the air and like maybe you know I'm not right yeah was her hand just like hanging there or was she trying to make it very clear to him she's just like putting her hand like on the chain she was just kind of you know I'm sure she was just talking you know whatever being

friends but she you know having you know having a drink and I was just like that's the first thing I look at which I'm sure she was just talking, you know, whatever being friends. And friendly. But you know, having on the drink, and I was just like, that's the first thing I look at, which I'm terrible for. But I mean, you guys are even like, just testing me, and there's like a girl across the room, you're like, hey, how about her? And I was like, she's got a boyfriend. Like, I'm pretty sure. And you guys are like blown away.

You could probably do that much faster than most people. Just like, scan a pot with your eyes and be like yeah, yeah Yeah, I'm pretty maybe that's your biggest talent. That's a very unfortunate talent. Why? Cuz I'm fucking single And I'm just like no, it saves you time. Yeah, it makes you more efficient. Yeah, Dan wasted about 45 minutes there Yeah, I don't know you wasted 45 minutes of sobriety Yeah, I don't know you wasted 45 minutes of sobriety And there's a common language people have like when a girl wants to tell a guy Hey, I have a boyfriend. Stop talking to me. I don't want you to flirt with me anymore. She just says oh

My boyfriend loves that too. Yeah, or my boyfriend That reminds you the time. It's like you hear that and you're like thank you. There's cute I'm gonna go. There's like better appreciate it like I remember I like, thank you. There's cute, I'm gonna go. There's like, but I appreciate it. Like I remember, it's actually, the ex-girlfriend that had the boyfriend that had the penis enlargement.

She was a, Reduction. Yes, penis reduction. Which apparently, I got a bunch of articles from people they were saying that it was bullshit because they had this kid, but a football-sized dick, and he apparently had the first penis reduction surgery. Maybe that was a, no. No, it wasn't. It was in the shape of a football-sized dick and he apparently had the first penis reduction surgery.

No, it wasn't. It was in the shape of a football. I mean, it was apparently the first penis reduction surgery. I'm pretty sure that's not true. She's greater, like she had to have her potato peeler. I don't know what it was. But I actually kind of going off subject and this is going to make me look even worse than I already load. But I texted her not too long ago and I was like hey remember when he told me about

your boyfriend's protection surgery I saw this article that says he was the first one I was just curious and waited and I got a response she was like what the fuck yesterday was like my birthday was last week you know like fair enough happy birthday I'm very sorry You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything.

You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything.

You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything.

You didn't say anything. You didn't say anything. You didn't our podcast. That's a day that just disappears once you're done. But anyways, when you go with your obligation there, like what does she want? What's your show up and fucking take her to dinner? I don't know. By her present? Well, she probably doesn't want me texting her about her ex-boyfriends penis. It wasn't you didn't do that on her birthday. True. You should have said, yeah, I know that's why I waited to ask you the question today, bitch. Yeah. And I'm sure she finds something to say no matter when you asked her. Yeah. She's like, oh finds something to say no matter when you ask her. Yeah. She's like, oh, you know, Memorial Day was yesterday

and you're asking me about this now. My period was two days ago. She was like, yeah. Well, I texted her because, you know, the South Byter's like, hey, you in town, you know, like, let's, you know, now let's take out. And she's like, why do you want to hang out with the next? I don't know.

I typically have, I'm on good terms with my exes. I think that if you spend that much time with somebody and you make that connection It's just a waste to like just let it go. So I try to stay friends with my exes and not not like friends the benefits Just friends, but I text her and I was like, hey, you're in town. Let's hang out and she's like Is Rooster Teeth doing anything can you give me in any parties like very blatant like I'm just going to use you and I was like He's like very blatant like I'm just going to use you and I was like Yeah, but anyways when you go to parties there's cute questions that you ask

For instance if it's a foreign girl you say hey, what do you miss most about your country if they're single? They're gonna be say whatever if they're dating someone they'll be oh my boyfriend So Danny's interesting. You should coach people I can't get my head because you're really fussy. It's true. I'm pretty fuss. But you have a lot of success. Oh, he finished it. That was it wasn't bad.

That's how I mean at the end it didn't taste too great, but yeah. If that comes to a rooster teeth party, could I ask her about her ex-boyfriend's penis? Who might my ex? Yeah, no, fucking go for it. That's not she's not going to be at a party. could I ask her about her ex-boyfriend's penis? Who might, my ex? Yeah, no, fucking go for it, but she's not gonna be at a party. She was in Dallas. I'll invite her just so you can talk to her about her ex-boyfriend's penis. I'm actually gonna talk to her about why you're obsessed with her ex-boyfriend's penis.

I just think it's a funny story. It's just like, you know. It's a fighter to be on the podcast. Man, she should give you a near low, that's for sure. Yeah. So anyways. Let's invite her on her birthday. Oh, we got this.

I feel like this year's South by lasted a long time. I don't know if I'm just crazy. How long is South by? It's basically a week and a half. It starts on one Friday and then ends the next Monday. Right. So I just felt like we're not forever this year for some reason. I don't know.

I can see that. I mean, it's interesting though, because everything was scaled down this year. It's like they denied like so many more permits. There's less parties. Just they were trying to like keep it low key, especially music. I don't think I'd wait in line like once though. That page is pretty great. And I just kept getting lucky.

I don't want to ruin the story But Barbara and Aaron need to tell that story what happened to them. Oh, I'll tell it because it's a pretty funny story I'm we actually much talk about this last week, but We got so off track talking science with Sally that we'd never got back around to to telling this story so we were at a party that was thrown in the venue where we were doing all of our stuff downtown. It was a movie premiere party. And it was like a very limited invite list, you know, very few people could get in.

And then above that, there was like another level of access where if you had a special colored wristband, you could get up to the roof roof where it was like a super exclusive for some reason I don't know why. So I had the special colored wristband so I'd go up and then Barbara and Aaron had the normal colored wristband so they couldn't get up onto the roof but there was a line they waited in and they waited in this line forever and then finally they got up to the roof but as soon as they got there the guy who was at the roof saw that they had the normal color space Like now you got a wait over here and they had like sectioned off Like a corded off a little area like a little holding pen for the people with the normal wrist bands

And they just had to stand in the corner as air next when he was like a four by ten Like yeah, was that like waiting area to get into the main bit? Or is that the only place? The way in life there was if you had to go to the bathroom or if they want to get another drink They'd have to go downstairs and they'd lose their spot that after waiting line again They get back up there how many people were in the space was just um Apparently it wasn't full. No, there was just like the the slubs right now. Were they allowed to talk to you? Yeah, like at first. I didn't realize what they were saying. They're like no look up. We are up here And I saw them like oh shit

So we just like went over and we tried to convince people to you know, let them out or get rid of it But they're like nope nope. I would just try to make it like a bit of pie like hire a different DJ like that bit It's like we were basically at our own party And we couldn't like we had people trapped in this one little area I just got out of a flame like sponsored and I tried to get in and like everybody I texted like everybody's like you're not getting in. Yeah, it was crazy. I didn't see, I mean I saw your text at the time but I was I guess really drunk because I didn't

it didn't click till the next morning. No worries. I'm not good at waiting in line. I waited because my name was on the list but even still that was like I had to wait. I wait like five minutes and left. Yeah, I didn't see. Yeah, you kept on you and Dan kept trying to get to the same rooftop Oh on the night and the other one. Yeah, and you kept on making me do the footwork We got up there though. There we did Anthony. I remember the bouncer

I mean we talked about recognized with Dan Buy a bouncer for the very first time. I've always wanted to have him, because it's like, they might let you in. Oh, head of everyone. He recognized us on the way out of the last night that we were there, and I was like, I could have done with this three days earlier. I did, because he wanted to pitch it with us, and was really excited.

I was like, it was awesome, but. You're so smart. I'm never gonna say this. The next time he recognizes earlier asshole. No, I'm not. I'm gonna look in. It's your fucking picture. Ah, cat. Um, yeah, so when Aaron and Barbara were horse stuck behind the, uh, the rope, I kept having

to go to the bar for there was like, do you all need anything? They said that at first when they saw you, they just, you and us were just start laughing. They were, uh, commoners. There was so funny, they were all so funny. Did you take your picture? Uh, no, I did. Uh, take a picture? No, I did. I ran into Mark Cuban and Guillermo from Jimmy Kimmel Show there.

I took a picture with each of them. It was real weird going up to people. You took a picture with Mark Cuban? Yeah. I think that's probably the richest dude I've taken a picture with. He's a billionaire. Yeah. Who's your biggest celebrity picture that you're taking with?

Like somebody that you know? I'm trying to get a picture of Jason's statement. That didn't. Took a picture of myself in a mirror once, does that count? Yeah, why didn't it? What would Jason's statement? Oh, we didn't. He was just kind of around for pressing that we were helping on and I didn't want to, I was cruelling for something. So I wanted to keep it professional and was going to wait until after the interview and all that stuff. But he was just kind of lounging around and I was like, oh, should I? Should I? Because I fucking love Jason Statham. I really wanted to go up and be like, hey, could you say I now pronounce you man and knife? Because that's like the best line

ever. But by the time I like actually got the courage to go walk up to him, he just walked off. I was like, all right, bye, dude. Yeah, I'm flin day. Maybe. I'm not good. Yeah, I'm bad at that too. I'm not good. I'm bad at I'm not Smith Robert Vaughan. You know who that is? No, no. He's like a American actor. He's been in tons of stuff But I'm so what I better recognize him. He probably would he's been like really classic movies Yeah, but he was also in baseball. Baseball was one of my favorite movies I was like I loved your basic baseball You could tell he was really offended of all of his work. I complimented his work and basic people.

I was like, shouldn't I set it? I don't get star struck. It's more of just like, is this appropriate? And like, I just don't want them to look down on me, I guess. It's like, yeah. Yeah, because they'll think about you later. Like, oh, I remember that loser. Oh, no, I just don't want anyone who's ever approached me.

I don't want to be rude or anything. Do you ever get annoyed when people approach you? Not at all. I Oh, no, I just don't want to be the only one who's ever approached me I don't want to be rude or and Do you ever get annoyed when people approach you not at all? I think it's awesome. Yeah, but Jason stay them is Jason stay them. So he's probably like fucking another one You know, what's the job? So if you ever? What did you say now I pronounce your man meets man and I pronounce you man and I Stabs people and throws knives and I was like I was in the theater

Expidables to you like That's lose my shit. You should go to London and be a cockney and see if you fit in see it be a what be a cockney What's that someone from London? I watch I watch snaps. So I kind of feel a little bit more informed on that culture My good bloke. There you go. Yeah. My old bus works on snatch. Did the slammer on it. Yeah. It's a pretty good movie. Unlocked suck. This is before you before you had a hand with him. Yeah. Those are old movies now. That's crazy. I think snatch was the first movie that Brad Pitt did after Fight Club. Oh

right. And I always heard stories that since he played like another like Bear Knuckles Brawler fighter type that none of the extras wanted to actually get in fights with him. Oh really? Because after after fight club I guess he had you know he had that really tough persona. Yeah and I ever want to scare him. He just wanted a role where he could take a shirt off again. Because he was like in shape so much with fight Club. It's like you want to get the most out of it. Dude, the only one he can is. He was fucking ripped.

Right, Piss. Was he? Yeah, the only one who was. He's cut. He's cut. Apparently like Daniel Day Lewis, when he was training for a boxing movie, he could have been like professional.

Those guys get like pretty crazy into the room. You ever see any of those like gifts or old movies of Mike Tyson in his prime like doing what? Just hitting people and destroyers. I wish the clip of him like the brawler. Punching a kid on a what on a chat show is like scuffly with a kid and the kids like punching him in the face. And he punched the kid? Yeah, he's like slapping my gun. I'm a fuck you. I'm like, I'm a fucking, I'm my tassin. You would never do that if he was here. No, I like birds. This is thing.

It seems like he has a sense of humor. That's awesome. Back then, I don't think he did. Some of those hits are so fucking brutal. I'll watch some of the old highlight rails of him boxing. If one of those hit me, I would die. There's no way I would survive one of my types of puns. See the slum ocean. I mean mean you guys did this with like slum

of guys but just like the rippling of the face and she's like uh... like their face just shifts it's terrifying basically boxing like it's the sweet science you know because there's strategy behind it and like how you move he just went at people and just punched and punched and punched and punch a lot of science in punching like you know you can like, you can trace a punch from like the back of someone's back foot all the way up their body into their arms and swings.

Oh, you're like, oh, I would agree. He just like, all he did was just go out of people like ran at people and punched. But it's also like, you have to like be strategic about like, you don't want to project, you know? The crazy thing. I'm saying that's normal. He just went after people. I just destroyed him. He didn't have it. It's not like he had great technique Oh, he was he was fast though. He had on the sheet doms Yeah, but the brain is so much smaller than the the gap for the brain in the skull

Oh, it's like having a little camera in in the skull watching the brain let wrap around during that would be awful It'd be like it must be so bad for you. It would be like in Star Trek when like the ship's getting hit and it was like oh yeah. The brain's like or shields are terrible. We can't take another one like that. Yeah, but I always get fast when I see I'm not a boxing fan. I really don't watch boxing whenever I see like old videos. My Tyson or like Muhammad Ali was like the other crazy one

So watching how fast he was and now we could just dodge punches seemingly at will Like I can't imagine having reflexes that quick. Yeah Yeah, and there's that clip of Tyson where he's all he's doing is just dodging Yeah, and some guys like flailing. He's just like It's like you can actually see slower than like the matrix Yeah, they could guys like flailing. He's just like, it's like you can actually see slower than like the matrix Yeah, they could just like trail him. It would be like just like agent Smith or something Right I was reading up on Matrix the other day in that a Trinity they like trained her to do the scorpion kick where she basically just like

Leans forward inner leg goes like fucking over like that's crazy She broke her leg in one of those movies fucking over like that's crazy she broke her leg in one of those movies this footage of that she like snapped her ankle when she was yeah you can stuff nuts I thought I'm sure I thought I know I know fishburn I thought Michelle yo did in Crutch Attacker Hidden Dragon I'm pretty sure either she or Lawrence fishburn broke something while she was shooting it I'm not super I'm not surprised that that movie was so crazy physically demanding well sorry I just thought about that a middle image of Harrison Ford just standing by the Millennium Falcon the door is like

Is that what happened to him apparently the Millennium Falcon door Imagine the prop guy like the odd defam in the bill is like I can't believe I got to work on this I can't believe I got to work on this. Oh, Jesus. Oh, that guy's so far. So wasn't supposed to open? Like it just fell open? I don't know. I don't know.

The rumor on the internet is it just like came open and just landed on his foot. Guys had bad luck? Yeah. Some could argue he's had really good luck. Oh, because he survived. It was like that. Because he's Harrison Ford.

Both. Yeah. I think both are pretty good. Yeah, it's a good one. It's funny. Oh, I'm just not funny. But I saw, you know, after he's Harrison Ford both. Yeah, I think both are pretty good. Yeah, it's a good one. It's funny Like I'm just not funny, but I saw you know after he had the plane crash I saw like some of the aerial footage of where his plane went down in the golf course and how fucking close it was to the airport I don't know if you've seen it for comparison. Is that where he was heading? Yeah, you should give it a He was probably a block away. Oh

You were right there you like Oh, that's so nice. It's like, oh my god, you were right there. You almost had it. You know how like that guy was on the guy that landed in the river. He was like, we'll be in the Hudson. Yeah. He's like, we'll be on hole nine. So, I'm going to bring the big corner around.

I've been watching plane crashes. I'm fascinated by just like the footage that people have caught. Like, wherever ever since that one came right down across the bridge and like, clip that taxi. And I then watched the one of the, the cargo, like the FedEx playing the, the stalls because all the cargo slits backwards. And you just see it like, just trying to fight gravity. It's like doing its best and it's like,

it's like really trying it. And then he, he knows Dives it to try and like pull up at the last minute. Just doesn't quite make it. And it's, and it's all then he knows Dives it to try and like pull up at the last minute. Just doesn't quite make it and it's all captured per- have you seen it? Capture perfectly through like a dash cam. You just see it like hovering in the air but it's not go- that's the scariest thing. It's so big, it's just not going anywhere. It's just like this.

That's terrifying. So it's just like oh they're- yeah. So who's coming in- there was dashcam in one, I saw. But apparently, like, there was a ton of cargo. And as it took off, it wasn't, yeah, it wasn't like, typeically so it all went backwards, which made it back heavy. And it just couldn't, it just stalled it.

And it just went straight out. We just saw a Google Earth image up here. I hope they updated it whenever that plane crashed. Yeah, by the way, that I think. I correct me if I'm wrong controller I think that the Google Maps indicator on it was just for the golf course That wasn't where the plane went down the plane went down on the very end of it like really close to the airport There's the port's fine in for

Not too soon dude. God. He's a lie. I don't respect Fucking shit all over here is a lie. That's a respect. Fucking shit all over here. You should have heard of this other thing. When I run this episode of the podcast is also brought to you by Squarespace, do you want another beer?

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Really glad to have Squarespace's sponsor. Again, it goes back to something we talked about all the time. It's very important for people to have their own presence online and not be dependent on other people's platforms. So here's your chance. Even if you don't know how to make a website, super easy, way easier than it used to be when I was a young kid and then what had to walk up hill both ways. Walk up hill both ways.

Yeah, it's like being a crotchety old man about how hard it used to be to make websites. See what I mean? With your GI Joe's. My GI Joe's like being a crotchety old man about how hard it is to be to make websites. See what I mean? With your GI Joe's. My GI Joe's are my crossbows and catapults. Haha. Um, God, I mean, it's funny, like, how different all that shit is, like, I think back also about like the Atari 2600, you know, I had one when I was a kid. And the standard that that console used to connect to televisions doesn't even exist anymore.

Objection. Objection. Objection. Objection. Objection. Objection. Objection. Objection.

Objection. Objection. Objection. Objection. Objection. Objection. Objection. Objection.

Objection. Objection. Objection. Objection. Objection. Objection. Objection. I think it came composite out from the console, and then you had to put that converter box on, and you had to have that slider to switch it from TV to computer for some reason. There's a, oh wow. This is a newer one, this is an updated version.

That's two point out. This one has coax on it. The original one did not have coax on it. Yeah, I had a thing for my super Nintendo. It was the same, you switch it between Ariel and the other one. But we also had a different standard. Like, the, your abuse Scott, the big fat like block connector, but I suppose they weren't over here. No, really fat and like, rectangle but one edge was curved like that. What did you do that? I don't know.

You're trying to make you hold the antenna to get the connection. No, no. What's crazy to me about stuff back then is how big the gap, like you were talking about stuff becoming more global and happening, I guess, more at the same time. How far apart game releases were? Like, Super Mario Bros. the game came out in 1983 in Japan. It didn't come out in Europe until 1987. What? Yeah. And it was America in 1985 like you imagine each region being two years apart It I imagine if I happen with the iPhone if I imagine if right now Japan already had the iPhone 6 and we were just getting the

The second iPhone that I die phone 3g or whatever was that was happening. I mean unheard of now That was happening though still in like the PlayStation error to right I think it was in the and 64 like it's still pretty recently. I was in the last decade everything But now it's like UK US always pretty much on the same day or maybe one day apart Super Mario Brothers came out Super Mario Bros. came out in Japan in 85 and North American Europe in 87 Your original Mario Brothers came out in 83 that was what it was Yeah, but even still that's a giant gap. Yeah, what took so long? Yeah Surely one dude could have just been like make it American go

Yeah, that's a great. How much text is in it like if I don't know what's a good game Arkham city just now came out in another region like how I mean It's not a bad game now, but by today standards Technology's moving at such a fast rate like Like, were they just going really slow? Because when it came over to America, it was still like a big fucking hit. Well, nobody knew about it. I mean, I remember subscribing to, I don't know, maybe it was EGM, electronic gaming monthly, and then maybe another magazine, but that's how you got like most of your news. Like, that was like all the stuff that's coming out so you could release a game in Japan

but no one would know about it unless they came in Japan whereas now it would be all over the internet. Yeah, that's the thing. You can't just forward in the end to that. That's provoked with this stuff. I remember being a school in Halo 2 came out. I think you came out two days earlier in the US and it didn't the UK and I just watched everyone on my phone. Oh, maybe it's Halo 3. I just watched everyone on my friends my business Hayley 3 I just watched everyone on my friends list in Hayley 2 and I was just sat in Hayley 1 just let me tell you sometimes it works out in your favor because we were talking about the Matrix earlier and when the Matrix what's the second one reloaded yeah came out I was living in Puerto Rico at

the time and for some reason Matrix 2 came out in Puerto Rico a week later than it did in the US so So I told Bernie and Jeff and Everyone knew in the US was like listen, don't tell me anything about Matrix 2 I'm gonna watch it opening day, but I'm gonna be a week behind you And I'm really excited going to the theater and then being like 45 minutes in like looking at my watch We're like oh shit. They didn't tell me it was bad like I didn't know it was bad as a result That's some good scenes in that movie

I like it. I like it. I just take forever to do anything like there's that whole bit on earth in the last city And it's just like there's a dance pie. Oh, yeah, the org. Yeah, so that stuff Which is so weird look like it didn't it didn't make any sense I didn't fit the aesthetic. There's that hole This is the second one that has the scene with the mirror of engine and the cherry pie, right? Yeah Oh, and like the orgasm was it? No, it's all great. No, no, no, no. Fantastic. No. Third movie is great except for what happens in Zion. That all that stuff's pretty lame, everything else.

I would like to go back and watch him. I would have a night where we all just watch all three. I was gonna buy them on Amazon Prime last night, but I didn't because... Hey, you want to watch them together? Let's do it. Let's do it. We'll drink beer. I did have watching a lot of Robert Red for movies. Can you tell me about it later? You you know what I come. I have it in my room. I have a projector before you watch that. We should do that though. I

fucking love the Matrix. I do have a projector. We could we could watch it. Bro night. Bro date. It's gonna be good. Get drunk. It's good. Dan back here. I like Dan. Oh, he's a good guy. Yeah, he's very enjoyable. He missed his flight Diddy he's missed two planes. He's both been from Austin. He's I he must have used your airport in the world There's no international flights really where I was but you you just you can arrive like half an hour before the flight Right the first time he was terminal. Yeah, the first time he missed the flight He was like half an hour late. Just barely missed it. I guess well not not barely? But yesterday's flight, he got to the airport of 5pm. His flight was at two. Oh my god, I was doing.

How did he fucking up there? Why go to the airport? Did he really think his flight was later? He thought it was a flight. Well, didn't he go missing after a party? He did, we lost him at the Ristief Pie. Oh my god. And that's another thing that I learned about Uber,

is that they do, it's like tons of people are requesting Uber at the same time. They just god. And that's another thing that I learned about Uber is that they do It's like tons of people are requesting the Uber at the same time. They just charge more. That's how they like Yeah, it's a hundred dollars to get somewhere. Yeah, and it and his his Uber from it was probably 10 miles away But it was times four searchers so everything was Quadrupled and it was a hundred dollars from to get home Because I imagine everyone on Saturday morning is using Uber to get home, like doing that little walk of shame. The other day, when I went to go see the Kimmel taping, I went down there with my sister-in-law and brother-in-law,

and it's not far, not that far from where I live. So we took an Uber, and there was a search price. It was like, search price, 1.4 times normal. I was like, all right, it's not that bad. We booked it. Fucking Uber drivers, the dumbest Uber driver This guy he was a dude. He stopped in front of my driveway and was like I can't find your place

You are a further driveway like let go of the brake and start turning your wheel to the right You will be in my driveway. He's like, okay, he missed it. I was like, who the fuck is this guy? He pulls in and we get into the suburban. And I'm like, okay, cool, just pull to the right here, you can back up and leave. He pulls to the left. And it's like, you just turned this into like a 20 point turn now. And then as we get into his car, he's like, oh, for some reason, Uber cancelled your ride. You have to re-request it So we re-request it and it becomes like a 3.7 I thought they should have they cancelled them, yeah, and he was like, oh, I don't know the Uber app just did that Do you want me to wait and see if it goes down?

Like we took it and this immediately was just like contact Uber support. Yeah, they they were like, oh, yeah We're so sorry. They refunded like the difference difference and they took care of it. I was like They need a fire that asshole. I think everyone does it and I think they only refund the people that complain It's how they make a lot of money. They'll just be like See if anyone has an issue with it. Yeah, even with a 1.4 Search should have been like 30 bucks or something. It ended up being like 170 bucks Damn son. What the fuck? What a fucking piece of shit.

I got a lift home for 10 bucks because I did that new thing lift line. Oh, it's worth it. That's where the you share a ride. That's somebody is. So you say, I want to do this thing and then it starts like looking at everyone else requesting a ride and then they find a guy

that's going to almost the exact same place you are or stopping right before it. So it's like, yeah, I'll do this. And so they show up. The car shows up in the guy who I'm writing, what's already in there. He's in the passenger seat, which I don't know, feels weird to me. So I get in the back seat and they're just chatting it up. Like they're like best friends and I'm like, sweet, I can just be back here on my phone.

And in the guy in the front, the other passenger falls asleep and now there's a silence. And for whatever reason now, I'm like overwhelmed with awkwardness because everybody's used to like chatting and being friendly and now I'm just sitting there not knowing what to do. And I have no problems not talking to people. But it was just like this weird awkward pressure where I thought he was just judging me. And they all thought I was the weird one. You should have just fallen asleep as well. I know or faked it.

It was so it was so weird and awkward. Sounds like a situation I would like just want to disappear from. Yeah. Aaron and I were taking lifts together because what we would do is I would drive to his apartment park at his place and we get a lift downtown to where we're living. And a lift we should say to those who don't have it is another service just like Uba. Yes, it's basically attacked us. Oh, YFT. Yeah. So we had the worst lift driver I've ever had. We get in and the guy was well, he's lost to begin with, but he was also just really creepy.

He like almost drove someone off the road three times and each time Aaron was in the back seat pinned up again. And he was screaming. He's watching the other car. Jesus Christ! She was screaming. He's watching the other car. Jesus God And the lit driver just didn't even notice he was just like driving along Shot pass started destination by like three blocks and we were so fucking terrified We're just like just let us off just let us off just let us off and God we were did it off to take some sort of test to become a driver of other Human this guy

I was the thing with the city of Austin. They're like you barely do background checks You don't have these insurance requirements like you shouldn't be here. I guarantee this guy was a former taxi driver Just like he just had all the the makings on the very aggressive driver Aaron poor Aaron taxi drivers usually better drivers You shouldn't do all that if you're gonna crash right you Never stood that what the people who do that or let me jump like They just get worse you just get injured more because you're like locked into all these bits of the car that gonna like crush you down.

Right, like, the airbag is designed to stop you from this, not from, like, this is the thing. Apparently, the people that are like sleeping or whatever, in car accidents, or like, all the idiots that are drunk and they just go limp,

because they fall asleep on the wheel. They always survive. And that's why it would be awesome if the human body had a safety feature. If you're about to eat shit, you could just trigger something that just makes you go completely limp. Or in fogel monkey. Where you go? You just slightly reverse it, If you're about to eat shit, you could just trigger something that just makes you go completely limp on five seconds. Eagle monkey. Where you go? You just slightly reverse it and you're

parry. What else would you be able to use that? Just like to dodge it. No, you'd you'd pretty much only use it in fast moving things. You want to go? If Mike Tyson's a little bit of use it. It's when the Mike Tyson punches inbound, you just like drop one of those. You re-hurt way less on that. Oh, your bones just disappear for five seconds. Apparently, if you tense up, your own muscles break your bones. I think that's what happens to people.

It's a safety feature of the human body that works if you're not traveling at like 60 miles an hour, which your body was never designed to do. So if you see something happening, you're like, you know, you're going to ask me, just be cool. Do you want to get hit in like you know again I say just like speak cool Do you gonna get hit in the face with a giant truck just be cool? Just go limp just go limp That's my advice anytime. I think I'm gonna be in the accident I'm in the passenger seat. It's like it's gonna go limp. Yeah, it would be really funny if you were the driver of a car and this feature existed And you like almost hit someone and you just saw in the rear view mirror everyone in your car just be like

The fucking faint. Yeah, it would be just like that. Yeah just saw in the rear view mirror everyone in your car just be like what's like this like this faking goats the fucking fainting yeah it would be just like that yeah you see that video the goat looking a dog no are we we still on is the internet still on goats goats and owls do you see the video of the goats are going out or a thing now this is the video of the guys driving around like blasting music with an owl no no context for it it's like their blasting music with an owl. No. I have no context for it. It's like their blasting music got their windows down and the driver just has like an owl in his lap

and he's driving. It looks like the owl just flew in and it's just like. All right. So here's a pet owl. I don't think it's his pet. I think it's the blue window car. Why do you think that, though? I don't know.

Why would someone have a pet owl? Because people like attention. These molletists have a pet owl that just have an owl that flew. The guy in the kitchen is like overreacting like, yeah, there's an owl in here. He's just saying, oh, there's the goat. They knew exactly what goat lickin' the dog who was talking about.

How many goats are lick dogs? Oh. What is it? Is it like attacking the dog? Attacking it with tongue glove. Uh. That dog is not asked. The goats are fucking weird.

I saw one the other day where the goat was barking like a chicken. He's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, just like a fucking goat. Goats are on the way out. Where did you see a goat? Huh? Where did you see a goat? No, I saw a video of a goat.

Uh, would you have a pet owl? Disappointing. No, owl. Owls are terrifying. Isn't because they can do that thing where they turn their... No, there's like, they're like super vicious. Alzer, you say no. Alzer terrifying. Isn't because they can do that thing where they turn their... No, they're like super vicious hunters, you know?

They're like silent and they'll cut you to shreds with their talons. And my parents, they know what they see. And they had an owl perched up on like their top window and I was out for a night run and I saw it and I was like, oh, it's an owl. And I made a vine of it and it was just like, I kept tapping on the window and just pissed off and just look at me, crang its owl, and I made a vine of it. And it was just like, I kept tapping on the window, it was just pissed off, it just looked at me, crang its head around, and they just looked away.

Did you ever see the video of the guy who has an owl in his kitchen? And he's trying to get it out. And it's like at the end of like a broom, that, no, this is the dude running with an owl. That looks like a pet owl. Yeah, that's totally a pet owl. I'd be freaking the fuck out of there's a, you know,

creature in my lap like that. But this dude's got an owl in his kitchen and the window, because the window's open to Owl Fluin and so he got the owl on a broom and it's like very slowly trying to take it to the window and get it back outside. And the owl was just like sitting staring at it when I went to murder him with his owl.

Did it work? Yeah, then you like puts it out the window and the owl takes off. Dude, I mean, sorry, go ahead. No, I'm saying like, you can fight an owl, right? I mean, the the L's you're gonna do more damage to an L then it's gonna do to you. Sure but now it will hurt you significantly. You could bats for an L but it probably scratched the living hell out of your skin. Oh the talons. I was just thinking of beak. Yeah. The peak I can deal with the talons I guess. You got a lot going on there. It's also man. Whether it's one of those creatures who knows what it's pinpointing

Like what it would it go straight for your eye or the genitals or the gen like a kangaroo will always kick a dick Like always on a human it will just go on its tail and just kick a dude's dick I like kangaroos even more now so we can really jump back and just like hold stuff on its tail. Yeah, yeah It's how they get all their like kicking action, isn't it? They just made a rock and cheer that kicks off because your balls off and I think chimpanzees always go for dicks too Like if you get attacked by a mob of chimps, they'll just rip your penis off and eat it. Yeah, I mean it's food right? Have you guys gone to H.E.B Just in the last like three months. There's a fucking bird that lives in the cafe

Like you'll just be eating in a bird will land on your table. What bad? You think it's the same bird or do you think it's a different bird that gets in all the time? There might be several birds, but actually the like the employees don't just don't give a shit at one point I just saw one give it like the what are they gonna do? Get it the fuck out of the restaurant get's flying in the grocery store It ain't killing kill it. Oh, no, don't kill it I'm sure the bird's gonna fucking die on its own, being in the store.

Yeah, then they're gonna cook it into some bread or something, but that bird has been there for ages. I've seen it shit on a man before. I don't do anything about it. It's good luck. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure that guy thought so too that day. Maybe he's into it.

Boy, the Lefiko feel ya. Some people are into that. Man, that's weird. Fetishes are strange. I read that the white stuff in bird poo is the piss Oh really the black stuff is the shit so the dick and they just but holes just all I think they just have it all together And it's just like that's like a more efficient system because when have you ever seen a bird take a piss? It's all together I think it's a way better. That's a way better. Yeah, why don't we do that? Why do we have two different?

I mean they you want that they both yeah, you would want just like one like I guess I have. I think it's a way better. That's a way better. Yeah, why don't we do that? Why do we have two different, I mean, they both, they both do the same. You would want just like one like, like it would just look like this. I don't know. Imagine, so what would you rather have a shit dick or a piss ass? Yeah, he's like, you're dick's just for fucking.

I would totally rather have a piss ass. Yeah. Oh, so you'd still want your dick, but a piss ass. Right. And also is not effective for liquid. When anyone's ever had diarrhea, you think this just like the toilet just like how about a like a navi tail where you can connect it and then you can fuck through that way I'm just talking about different ways of sexual

organs man you know how would you like ideally what would your genitals be like I probably though I don't really like my balls hanging out so exposed. Yeah, but they need to be cooler than your body. Yeah, but it's not like that. Well how low, what are they hang? Mine? We're not going to get into it, but pretty good. You brought it up.

Kind of low. Yeah. When it's hot out, man. I would love to see what if you could design your genitals like what would that look you know how some people get really tacky with stuff yeah if they have that customization option like you'll drive a car into a shop shop in GTA and just come out with the worst thing ever I imagine your dick would be some sort of crammed spinner like stabby thing it looked pretty cool I guess I

don't know oh I'll get a spinner. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, LED lights on it. You flip it over and it goes, errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Perfect shape and perfect design ugly bastards, but though balls are this the whole lot A-ness to everything the human body is same really well It's just where you can't be attracted. I guess you can but there's all like these facial features that you're attracted to on a person on a girl say for you, but Genitals don't really have that unless you've actually seen of a giant I've been like that's a I'm really turned on by that vagina

You're not I mean I see I'm Turned on my everything else but a vagina on its own isn't sexy I mean depends like if I just showed you one and it was in my hand You'd be like that's like with anything if I just showed you a tit right now I don't know I guess that's true. You mean context eyes if you just give a single eyeball Yeah, you're right. It's got to be an ensemble. I'll give you credit my point kind of fell apart. I'm sorry Is that a first Gavin was a little bit of a part have I talked about the first time I saw it?

No, do tell so I was on the bus Wait, so it wasn't like a picture. This was this was like last week School bus and like I don't know second grade or something and this kid had a penthouse Which is like filthy and he turned to like you know page It was just like a close-up of a of a vagina and like just like hardcore everything close up of a vagina and like just like hardcore everything bear and he's like checked us out and remember looking at me like what's that he's like oh that's a pussy and me being like oh and then my head being like what the fuck is that is he a second grade old man where does that go

so how did you get the kid trying this to you wow and that was the first time you saw a grower. Yeah. Grower. Because like you might like come across, but there's like, you know, there's hair covering and stuff. But this was just like, you know, it was just right there. And I could not make sense of it. Did you have nightmares? No. So when you first had some intercourse, were you like, I'm prepared for this. I know I'm dealing with down there. Oh, yeah. Thanks to the experience, looking at a penthouse when he was eight. I I remember doing reading before I Was with a young female I did reading beforehand and I think I did pretty well

I remember my first direction. I thought a bone it slipped out of place and my Skin flap and then I was like oh I don't know what was going on in my body. Yeah, like mom I didn't know it was going on my body. You're like mom. I didn't book this one. I just I just remember sitting watching TV just like what are you watching? What is this? Oh man. Do you know what I'm watching? That's a really good one. What do you think about that? Be careful. I remember I went there. I I remember I was playing I was playing with a Luke Skywalker action figure

But that was not what initiated the did you think you had a lightsaber boy? This is a mom look No, I don't know that it worked. That's exactly what I was like. There we have someone who is a Taylor stone drew Brandon and his awkward lift encounter. Oh speaking out. I like these mid-podcast art pieces we get. No, they're pretty great. So that's a TB stone on Twitter. Thank you. Thank you Taylor Stone. I like trying to find them and putting them up as I see them. Yeah. All right, I guess it's about time to wrap up. Has anybody ever anything else you want to talk about? It's so much fun. What do you think the last vagina you'll ever see is?

Probably my wife's. Maybe I high hopes, huh? Yeah, that's... Wife, huh? Never mind. I really don't think that I'm... I don't know. I might not get married.

I hope it's... That was a deep, heavy ending. I might not. Why not? Just don't think it's gonna work out. I don't know. I think in no, no that'd reveal too much of someone's Personal life that works here at the company But I think the way that my trajectory is I could end up like so How old you 24 mm-hmm. I like these podcasts because we say a lot of stuff that we wouldn't normally

No, we just say a lot of stuff being like young people. And then when we're older, we'll look back and think. More on. I was really wrong about that. I was thinking of nothing in and out. All right, well, thanks Aaron for watching. We'll see y'all on Wednesday on the episode of the patch. And next, oh, and Thursday with On The Spot, next Monday with ARCHI podcast.

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