Rooster Teeth Podcast - RT Podcast #322

Episode Date: May 6, 2015

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It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers will learn that an Anthony Mackie comes a new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-octane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motormouth outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland. If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church. Twisted metal, streaming now now only on peacock Hello everyone We'll the emergency podcasts this week brought to you by pro flowers and sherry's berries

Somewhere in the sky. You think one week that they would show up? They got to hit a button. It takes a while. This week in the podcast we got Gus, Gabin, Miles and Gus. So it's May 4th, 2015. One of my least favorite days of the year. Is it a puns? May the 4th? I don't get it. Every May the 4th 2015, one of my least favorite days of the year. Why is that?

So the puns? May the 4th? I don't get it. Every May the 4th be with you, we and social media. Dude, I love Star Trek. And engagement. Star Trek reference. Still can't sit next to Kerry.

And it's also the day before, single to my own. So, where are you? Which explains this bucket of margarita. So we got a bucket of margarita and makes it be a Celebrity how it how it comes in a bucket This is just add to keela I didn't go to Mexico all buckets everywhere. Yeah, the barber didn't see the So I just started opening the bucket from my side of the table and guess is like the fuck you doing there's a spout on the side

You like legal in yeah yeah I'm there I saw spoon here I'm gonna knife my margarita into my drink I'm gonna get myself a margarita I'm gonna get my stuff over here look at me I'm a margarita pour next fruit I'm also a side my talking expert so what is what is Cinco de Mayo about? I didn't put ice in here. Cinco de Mayo. I could have sworn to put ice in here is the giant skin celebration of the fifth May and their love of Star Wars. It was a yeah. Adventure the fifth. A minor battle. I

regret that. I regret even that. I didn't make that. I actually think that is a thing. That's a thing. Don't corona me control room. We will groan at you whenever we want to, which is often. It was a minor battle in the Mexican Revolution. That took place on May 5th and that became exploited when beer companies decided they needed an excuse to get people to drink more beer in the United States. And we're drinking margaritas, so. Yeah, so we got the corona. So we got corona in the semques. Yeah.

Bernie was here. He'd be happy about the corona. Where is he? I don't know where he is. I don't think I've seen Bernie in three weeks. He's in New York. Oh, he went back to New York. I was there last week with him.

He went again because he liked it so much. I knew you were in New York because of all the fucking periscopes you guys were doing. I didn't do a single periscope. Thank you very much. Bernie with you guys. You guys into the periscopes you guys were doing. I didn't do a single periscope, thank you very much. I mean, Bernie with you guys. You guys into the periscope thing? No.

I did it when it first came out a couple times, and then I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do anymore with this, so I'm not going to use it again. That was seemingly came out of nowhere. I just remember Blaine was like, yeah, I was periscoping the other day, and saw Chris Periscope. And we were in the same building.

We were in the same area. That's why from when Bernie was doing it down the streets of New York, he was just like filming us walk along, because we were like wearing lab coats and covered in paint and some girl who was watching the Parascope ended up in it because like we walked past her and she's like, oh, I'm watching this right now. It's this is what Weird That's so cool. Brain told me about that last week. I just thought that was a cool sister. It's a weird world really It's just a weird world. It's I'm I right. It's weird though. The Truman show or something but real life. It's just if you just want to want someone to do everything in their day, you can just do that.

The most boring mundane things performed by the most narcissistic person in the world. We've got an half for you. So what's my what's my butter spread in 2015? Periscope. I'll spread your butter. If I taped my phone to the front of my face and just died Could I pariscope all day what's that to be a certain it wouldn't use up a shit ton of your battery and data But yeah, my father's on Wi-Fi when you like a battery strapped into it. It it I'm offy Yeah, it eats up your battery extremely fast Like I would think I think the first time I've ever skipped was for like a half an hour and a half my battery Yeah, we just strap batteries to it swap movies out. I'm with you some a big helmet with battery packs all around

Let's do that. I wonder if I wouldn't if anyone would watch that. Let's do a periscope off Yeah, I'm good day in the life Day in the life We should do it at the exact same time so it's competition Like you have to decide which one to watch leave the helmet outside the bathroom whenever you go or I mean Down at yourself. I got to say at the age of 26 I don't need to stare at my genitals while I use them. I mean I know where they are. I do

Because it's so good. Yeah, well you stare at them during other things What's that we're all waiting like what you know sex Because usually you're watching where it's going in yeah either Maybe like a brief second, but I'm not gonna be like yeah, yeah, you could all yeah give it to her You could also not have sex during the day at warqual you're using periscope So you never like you never just want to like look in someone's eyes you're just like this looks like I'm doing I'm the time, but I'm saying you're glanced. This is pouring it. I'm in it Yeah, somebody that was gonna set aside a full day to periscope would like plan ahead to make sure that the most interesting things of a year

Happen on that day like they plan like a skydiving trip in advance and like you know, this is just normal life Yeah, another check from the press tripping advance and like make sure that like you know this is just normal life yeah another check from the press another medal two days ever shoved an iPhone in the top of a periscope and periscope from a periscope well now they know that they should did you ever have one of those as a kid I asked my mind blown I had telescope all right yeah yeah periscope shit like you could like look up the stairs before you're even up there.

So that's what's up there. Nothing. Great. What else could you do with it? Look at that second floor. There's a window you can't see through. Oh, I can see through it now. Do you guys have a look?

No, I never had a pair of shoes. Do you ever have the stupidest most useless thing? You know what? There's two mirrors in a box. Yeah, if you're in a submarine, great. Parascoops are awesome. What's that thing called when you look through when you like turn it and it's a kaleidoscope.

A kaleidoscope. That's the one I'm thinking of. I had a kaleidoscope. Anyone who used a microscope, seeing us were on the scopes. Yeah. Anybody ever use scope mouthwash? Hey, big fan.

That's great. Did you guys have a grown up, the spy toys for kids? Like, I remember having a gun that had a big like dish around it, and you could shoot it and listen to things It worked pretty well worked up like a couple hundred feet or something like that That's cool. Especially with turn into like man. This is gonna be awesome We're gonna hear so many secrets and then like I never did that so I'd be like hey Marcus go run across this I'm gonna whisper something. I'll tell you what I heard it. What's up?

You said a corn It's pretty much the extent of that. Yeah, because as kids, what are you listening to? Yeah, I don't remember, like, because now every kid in the world has an iPhone. Like, right, that's just a thing. Everybody knows you just call each other and go, Hey, go on. We don't need to yell at and hear it from the kids.

That's how they picture every day. Look at Sam. It's just weird. I don't know. I didn't have that. So, like, I always wanted that weird talking about that, like listening device. You had two cups in a string, right? I'm not a Bernie, come on.

But what I would do is I had, for some reason, I don't know why I had this, but I had a little mini cassette recorder. Like the kind that uses those little tapes that are like this. The micro, yeah, it was like, they were super sleek. It's big, yeah. And what I would do is, since I didn't have the thing, like this time. The micro, yeah, it was like, they were super sweet. This big, yeah. And what I would do was since I didn't have the thing, I wanted to spy on people, I would set it to record

and I would hide it around my house. So to see great people. You know, like a thick of random conversations. I mean, you know, did you? Yeah. Wasn't it like your parents and stuff? Yeah, or did you ever like, Hey, the briefcase is under the bed.

Like, people were coming over, I'd like stick it under the catch. I find out it was like five at the time. I was like, I was a really little kid. Were there a lot of words you didn't understand? No. If I found out that my kid was doing that, I would absolutely fuck with them.

Just be like, well, now that he's asleep, he'll never know that eating those vegetables is actually going to kill them in three years. I started drugging him. I don't know if they want you to really fuck this shit. Or that he's adopted. Or that he's adopted. I don't think anyone ever found out.

I would always hide it. And then I just just wouldn't tell anyone and like play it back We like oh right So that's It wasn't like it was never anything was like oh did you go to the grocery store today? Yeah, I forgot to get the latest Okay, we can get it tomorrow Really self talk oh all the time do you have tape still I do I do I Mark, you're just like, that was a mundane boring shit. Did you really call yourself, Tulk? Oh, all the time. Do you have tape still?

I do. I have a tape stuff. I'm like, my mother gave me, when I was like, eight or nine, I guess, and I would record myself. Like swearing into it? No, just like talking. Just like pretending like I was a radio DJ. That's not a big deal.

Oh, we're going to say, did you ever do the radio show? Yeah, we're going to look at the radio DJ, and DJ and like trying to like splicing music and stuff and then like She comes into my room just like it's just like it's just so stupid. I really hope Lauren draws this DJ that just like tiny little nerdy guys. There's one there's one part of the recording where my little sister Just always used to like coming and bug me when I was trying to do my cool older brother stuff Like Jeff and I'm not cool. No, I was like I was way too. I can be drinking off And like I remember one time if you listen to the recording. I'm sitting there recording myself Then I'm like, you know get out of my room get out of my room and then you can hear my sister like very faintly on the microphone Go give me a quarter and I'll leave

Yeah, she was like it it was like getting a store, like getting shaken down by the mom. Yeah. Your sister from all the stories you tell about your sister, she seems really fucking weird. Well, I'm not exactly like the picture of the most normal person either. Yeah, weird to go.

She's probably perfectly normal and nice. And then it smashed the head into a mailbox. And she got a little shoulder. OK. It was not her head. It was her shoulder. Is that like the bike accident? Yeah, she took my bike. I mean, I told her not to take the bike.

I can't. Oh, now I remember. It's not her that I think is weird. It's your interaction between you and her that I think is weird. Yeah, well, my interaction with most people is weird. Yeah. It's been in. Yeah, I've known you for almost a decade and you're pretty weird.

Yeah, and there's someone who I lived with who like I share blood with like that's just like double weird I'd like to that video you posted of Esther after the teeth were the wisdom teachers She's had she's had a rough week. I feel bad for her Um, well you guys I don't know if it was her decision or both of your decision to stack all of those Procedures all in the same week. Well, what's happened. So then like a couple days after that, she decided to go back to the dentist to get like a filling replaced. So it's like she's still like recovering from the wisdom

to you thing they had to do that. Then like the next day she decided to go to the optometrist and get her eyes checked and that to dilate it, dilate her eyes. So she had to like wear those stupid wrap around. So it was like, we live in the future. Why do we still have to fucking do that? Like I had my eyes checked

also. I didn't get the dilation, but you know normally when you get your eyes checked, they always do that thing where they have to like puff air in your eyes. I fucking hate that. But I went and this time the optometrist was like, we have this new machine. We don't have to puff air in your eyes anymore. I'm just gonna place on your forehead and it's gonna measure the pressure in your eyes. And still I'm like, no, no, you're totally popping like this This is a new air puff thing you're just tricking me and then she puts it on my face and I'm like squinting She's like I swear it's not gonna pop air in your eyes and then it doesn't and it's fine She's like okay, we're all done and she's like why doesn't anyone ever believe me? Cuz you all have been doing that for decades. Oh my god

She looks like she's about to drop a rap album She's gonna find Simpson from that episode of it. She looks like she looks like she's about to drop a rap album She looks like she looks like sigh From the wisdom teeth She's she's been having a rough time I am so mad that you told her how good of a recovery had from my wisdom teeth I know that she just doesn't want to hear about anything like that and you're just like Oh Barbara just recovered in the same day. Barbara was eating steak later that day. Yeah, you see a spaceship. I didn't. She yeah, that was it. Yeah, she was on a spaceship. Yeah, video is great because you can it like progresses through the like her you telling her about stuff

She'd said earlier in the video and then like forgetting and then you tell Well then like after she she watched a couple times she said I realized what you're doing. You were just egging me on to say the same thing. So parts are like oh yeah you told me you mentioned you were on a spaceship or I was like trying to get the same reactions out over. The doctors that the doctors watch about how nice it was. She's just like I really liked his watch. I should know remember that. She doesn't remember that guy. There's a technician. Technician. Was he dreamy?

Um, did I see him? I guess I must have saw him because I was in the room. I don't remember that guy at all. So did they put a fully out? No, she was like awake. But to give her some intramuracy. Yeah. It's like that stuff where you don't form memories. Like your brain's not working right. Did you ever get yours to do that? I did. I also had a more complicated oral surgery.

I had something in my gums called... Cork? I think it was called like an open... Open your gums? Open tome or something? Essentially it was extra calcium that my body made that was like, oh shit. We already made all the teeth. I just put it in a clump and keep it in the glass so it was just like this chunk of

calcium that was just extra calcium I never formed into a tooth so what but technically that's still a tooth right I mean are your bones teeth I mean it's just like actually it's calcium yeah body somewhere I mean they stay in the head when you die don't I? but but I had to get that stuff removed when I was like 14 or something and the doctor was like, look, wow, we're here. We might as well just rip those wisdom teeth out. So it was just one really big operation. I remember too, we went to a few different people and I remember going to I remember going to one my father and I were looking for like the right oral surgeon to go to.

I went to this one guy. He was really old and had I remember he was like, Oh, hey, let me just take a look in the side. I can do that. No problem. Let's just open up my wooden cabinets and get this push drill for a second. Then I power with this pedal and I left and I remember going to kind of drill. We had to like, I remember leaving. My day goes, so I just think him. I go, I think he was nice because I don't think I'm ever going to the kind of drill we had to like. I remember leaving, my day goes, so I just think him. I go, I think he was nice because I don't think I'm ever

going to take you back there. And we eventually settled on, you know, this normal oral surgeon guy. And I remember being in the chair and the guy goes, all right, we're going to give you an IV now. And this is going to make you unconscious. And I'm like, all right, cool, and simple enough. He says, if you can count to 10,

after I stick you with this, the operation is free. And I was like, when I look at my father and challenge, you'll find I was like, all right, cool. All right, I got this shit. And he puts it in my mom, I go, whoa. And it was a meething on. It was so weird. It felt like everything was on fire and then I was just out.

Yeah, crazy. And I just remember waking up and like having like I felt like some sort of horrible like victim of a terrible incident Like they had like towels and blankets on me and they put me in a wheelchair and I blacked out a lot and my mom Just took a million pictures of me. It looks like I have two plums for cheeks my whole face was purple I had ice wrapped around me and I can only drink like smoothies and shakes for a week and time That was your senior picture in your your book How often do you think in a year does a dentist Put his cock in a patient's mouth

Like it must happen right somewhere in the world is happening There's a side-filled about that. I'm gonna say zero Zero this year zero no dentists. How many months in a year are we? Where is it? How often is a dentist alone with a patient? Usually there's a What if they're both in on it? Oh God. Well, that's really fucked up practice. Oh My god. I guess it's like you know, and you have the clamps that are like opening your mouth. It's just like Do dentist and porn count that are like opening your mouth, it's just like, dip. Do dentists and porn count?

Just dip. Is there dentist porn? That seems like the worst thing you're gonna solve. Is there blank porn? Yes. Thank you. There's obviously dentists. But people are afraid of dentists.

People don't like dentists. Do some people get off to fear? Fear boners are a thing. Fear boners? Yeah. Fear boners is the name. They're prevalent in middle school too. Because you get a boner, because you're middle school.

And then it's like come up to the chalkboard and then it's like a raging fear boner It won't go away. It's shit that happened. It's just middle school You look so sweet wait never heard you've never heard of a fear boner before you ever watching the league No, no never heard the term fear boner. I've heard of people getting bonus when they get hanged That's room mortis No They're about to die and it drops and then like blood just goes on Oh god damn

A lot of people die with a boner We're done You don't want to go out You're way too disgusting conversations I want to die with a boner People try and hang shit I'm really like a poof Like you're like a lady meant to like

Like with a boner Oh you want to die with a boner Is it attached to someone or is it severed boner? Maybe I don't know, it depends on it You won't get picky about it No, you know, with the boner? Like, I wanna have a drink. Is it attached to someone or is it severed boner? Maybe, I don't know. It depends on it. You won't get picky about it. No, you know, maybe it's like, you know, if someone's going on, there's a big crash or something,

and I'm like still with it. You're just shot, you're like, ugh, ugh. You just grab hold before you go out. My only regret is that I don't have two boners. I died as I lived. And then someone that's into dead chicks is like, hold up, I'll be right there. They're out there, dude, and they are searching for fetishes or weird. Like, I've never heard of a fear boner, but you mentioned, like, middle school boners.

Like, if you're a guy, you'd live, like, four years of your life with a constant erection. It's terrible. That's why I'm shocked whenever, like, I went to high school and I would see people wearing sweatpants. Like, guys wearing sweatpants, and I would just think, isn't this a problem for you? I just remember hating in athletics and it was a high school and middle school.

You just get gym shorts, and there's a point where we all have to do jumping jacks. And it's just flapping everybody, and you're like, nice joke. And you're like, it's just, it is an odd time. It's an odd time for pretty much everybody, but when you're a dude with the potential to just be immediately betrayed by your body,

it's just constant fear. I remember being a kid at school. I was very skinny when I was like 15. Really? Well, I was just like ridiculous to skinny. My shorts never fit. I know I'm forced to play rugby against like These beefy dudes every time I get tackled my shorts would come all the way down like to my knees and I feel like oh my god

I would like mud all over my cock Tell you about how I how I was put into how I was accidentally put into Special air athletics when I was in middle school special ad athletics when I was in middle school. What happened? What happened? Oh God. All right, so- I mean, I can't say I'm surprised.

Oh, okay. You haven't even heard of it. I don't know what happened. All right, I was in eighth grade. And most people, most guys at the school would go, the sixth grade you would take PE. seventh grade you would take PE2 or whatever. And then eighth grade, there really wasn't PE.

I think it was mainly just athletics and there was only one PE course. And the difference between athletics and PE was athletics was a lot more disciplined. A lot of times it was essentially people that were going to be playing football or basketball or soccer. That was where they would go to do their actual practice and stuff.

And anybody that was in the off season would be gearing up for whatever the fuck the next Board was But like in middle school it was the army like it had coach Dunnie and like the really scary guys And if one of the people in athletics got an F for something in the whole class would have to run laps for whatever and it was like My nightmare as a skinny theater kid are yeah, and I remember I didn't sign up for athletics and instead I just want to take a normal PE course and I got teased about it

but I was like I don't want to do it I just want to make art and dance or whatever the fuck and um and I remember Tina from Bob's Burger King. I remember showing up the class and being a little concerned because you know sometimes they would have the special there'd be a few special needs kids in your course, but this was like, it was all the special needs kids, and it was very, very awkward for me, and I went to go talk to, I think it was the coach at the time, like he walked up and he was like, what are you doing here? I was like, I don't know, this is my PE course, he's like, this isn't normal PE. So at the time, the only other sort of PE class that was at the same time slot was the Athletics course. So he gave me a choice.

He was like, all right, listen, kid, you can either go in with the big boys and do athletics and have to do drills every day and all this shit, or you can stay in AL-EPE. And he was like, give it a day to think about it. So I went through that day in special ed, athletic PE, whatever. There was a kid that just took his pants off

in the middle of PE and just started dangling it. And I was like, I can't do this for the rest of the year. Was it meant only or? No, it was meant only, yeah. It was just like, he was a, and the dude was like, a giant like really big strong guy and then just in the middle class, he was just like, whoa!

And I was like, okay, I think I've had him out and I'm gonna be pleased. Not caring the well. Dude, I was almost envious man. He just seemed so fucking happy. What are you gonna take off his pants whenever he wanted? So yeah, and so instead I got shipped into the normal athletics class and it was awful.

Like my very first week we had like discipline for shit and I the normal athletics class and it was awful like my very first week We got like discipline for shit and I had to run forever and I was puked is fucking terrible. Yeah It was an experience. We had a similar thing for it's like you were like you You were in a lot of most people were in athletics like you describe where it's like you're Playing a sport or you're training for the sport and of course Not no, I'm not doing that that so I did PE which at our school was for all like the fuck-ups and gang members so I you know I've took PE for fuck forever with those guys and I've told a story before about how I there was one time I saw dude in the shower

and like he was his dick which is like had one big birthmark on it like his neck was like a hundred times darker than the rest of him and I was like and I was that you freaked me out cuz it's like what I'm still like in seventh grade Like you to shower for the first time with other dudes like is this is everyone's dick? You're supposed to be like that. You know, I'm like my On uncircumcised dick in that class, and I just remember just sitting down and just be like What the fuck is wrong with them? Well, we're all right, baby But it's really easy and like christianarested

You didn't hear that story no on the podcast christianare's the first time he saw someone with an uncircumcized dick It's uncircumcized dude dude. He thought he thought it was an alien and he apparently told everybody in his class that there was an alien in their class trying to like hide as a human. Chris, this is the best story. The reason I thought of that was because I was in that athletics class, I was forced to do like the routines that all the football players would do. So towards the end of the year, all the athletic students were gearing up for football to try out for football when they went into high school and we had to run drills

inside the gym and it was a thing where you get in a line you'd run you'd hit a person who was blocking then you'd switch that person who was blocking would go off and do the next part in the whatever the fuck it was and then you would take a hit and block and then go to the next one and I remember it was my turn and I hit the guy and I was like yeah I hit him really hard the new grid and then it was my turn to take the hit and this big fucking dude named Matt like it's up Like just imagine most ripped Mexican guy with like short hair really intimidating and I remember thinking all right You know the rules whatever you do Don't give an inch and lock your legs was essentially what I thought was the thing you do when you take a hit and

I like I just wasn't gonna move. I was gonna be a rock a wall don't give an inch and lock your legs. Was essentially what I thought was the thing you do when you take a hit and keep- Are you locked really? I like, I just wasn't gonna move. I was gonna be a rock, a wall. You must have got that like sketch. And I took air and I flew when I hit the back of my head against the basketball court. And I remember the coach at the time was like, Mom, stop it real, stop it drill.

Luna, Luna, you're right. And my song was like, I'm sorry. I just never really, really bad that I ruined everything. I thought everyone was gonna get disciplined from the look of it. You're right and my song is like I'm sorry Everything I thought I was gonna get disciplined He's just like god damn go to the bench day You're younger brother play football. Yeah my younger brother that piece of shit. He's huge Yeah, he's like an inch taller me totally jacked he so when I was a kid my dad was like busy all the time with work and

I really just hung out with my mom all the time and like the nanny or whatever. Oh my little brother was a kid. My dad was in between jobs. So he essentially, you know, sat on the pond his knee and told him, son, you're going to go every sport. You're going to be the front eye. I remember.

I remember we would go to his baseball games and then pack up and then immediately go to his football games afterwards. He is the athlete. Like he just loves lifting heavy things. I don't get it. So would that have been you if he'd had time? Maybe.

I bet he sat down and he's like, all right, we got the new, I ruined the first one. That's it. We'll do the put the F into this one. Well, now we know everything not to do. Yeah. I was the child in error. Yeah.

No, you were just the error. That miles he's just an error. Wow. That's not pretty good. But one time in my PE class, like I said said it was just all like gang members and fuck-ups You know you have to like Take your regular clothes off and you put your gym clothes on to do PE and then when you're dying just put your shower and put your regular clothes back on and One time I took my regular clothes off and my you know gym clothes on went back someone stolen all my clothes

It was like I had nothing like I had these stinky gym clothes on, went back, someone stalled on my clothes. It was like, I had nothing, like I had these stinky gym clothes, I was like, fuck it. At least it left your gym clothes. Well, I was wearing them, like, I thought it was like, you're in a shower. That's great in stealing. It was like, while we were out doing stuff,

and it was like, the rest of the day, it's like, went through the rest of the day, and it was like, what's that smell? It's me, I'm wearing dirty, sweaty stinky clothes, because all my other clothes got stolen. How long was your gym period? What? How long was your gym class?

an hour? 50 minutes? How long was your gym class? Yeah, but it's like, I think they only, I, my memories, not clear as to how often they washed the gym clothes. It might have been like a weekly thing. Wait, what, they washed your clothes?

Yeah, they didn't wash their ears. Yeah, they didn't wash their ears. No, they didn't wash their own. They did. I remember we hated the kid that would never take his fucking clothes home. It was disgusting. He just reaked a terrible version of himself. Because we, like our, I don't know if they already had the facilities there, because where we had our PE was like where the big high school football stadium for the area.

So they probably already had like larger facilities, something there and it was probably easy just to do that. I just remember always being like, because you know, I was a kid, I was embarrassed to like take a shower with other dudes. I was like, oh, that's weird. I can see my bits and stuff. But I had athletics at the end of the day. So I would just coast home on the bus with my stinky clothes

and I wouldn't give a shit so that I wouldn't have to shower at school. Well, you'd have to worry, at least you didn't have a giant birthmark on your day. Like that. No, no, no. Now that I'm thinking about it, it's really gross because at my high school, you didn't have a lot of time in between the end of gym and your next period.

It was like maybe five or six minutes. So nobody showered after gym class. My school didn't have showers. And now I realize how really disgusting that is. But nobody ever really got sweaty because it's so damn cold all the time. You just like, you just be caked in mud for the rest of the day. That was it. Yeah, I remember the time. You just like, you just be caked in mud with the rest of the day and that was it. Yeah, I remember there used to give out like a little,

like they give it like a little merit stickers and you collect them throughout the year. And they would give one to whoever changed into their gym clothes first. And I always had it like first period. So I would just get dressed into my gym clothes and then put my regular school uniform on over the top. So I just walked into the chamber and just like,

and just walked straight, I was like, I got like 19 merits. It was like cheating the top. So I just walk into the chain room just like 19 marries. It's like cheating the system. Did you guys ever have to do the beep test? The what test? The beep test? Yeah. How we could have the bleep test? I got in trouble. Maybe that's UK back. I don't know that test. What is it? It's a there's a series of beeps. And so each one is like the interval between is it gets shorter and shorter and you have to run from one end of the gym to the other so by the time like the next beep comes so you'll be running across the gym and it'll beep you have to be at the line and then you have to run back it'll beep and

get shorter and shorter and make it before the beep. Yeah that's your school. It was like the standardized testing of the gym world. Yeah and they would grade you based on how far you got. Oh, what level of beep? We didn't have beeps when I was a kid. I was the guy in a cowbell. Yeah. We didn't do your triangle. Oh, wow.

It just feels like really rude. It was like, fatty. I saw that. How? Shader? And it was all Cp color. I don't know. No, I just don't imagine a shader. Southern gentleman all Cp of color. No, I just imagined a rather gentlemen

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Look for the blue one. Yeah, because it's possible. If you don't click on it, you can still go through the check out process. And you can put the code in the check out, but it doesn't give you the same offer. Yeah, like it's not as good. Yeah, like you can still get a discount, but not like. You don't get the actual thing that they talked about. That by the way is still one of the most confusing things to me on about why Father's Day is the same in the US and the UK. It's in June.

Mother's Day is in May here, but March in the UK. So I always panic. I'm like, again, what? That is weird. Yeah, March is stupid. Why? because in the UK it's mum's day mum mum's day I did I did something dumb the other day I I got a haircut last week and I was walking that was really stupid by the way as I was walking out of the barber shop Thanks, there were a couple of steps. It's like yeah, it's five or six steps to go down from like this upper level to a lower level And I pulled out my phone. I was like, I'm just gonna text, yeah text all the time walk in and I got these steps and Yeah, text all the time

And I'm walking down the steps and I thought that the next step was the ground, but there was actually one more step So like, I kind of like stepped really fucked up and then like twisted my ankle and like all my weight fell I'm onto one ankle like as it was rolled over and so like I collapse like an idiot on the sidewalk And I'm just like like I hit myself all stupid and I'm just kind of laying there in a pile and I look around like oh cool Nobody saw nobody saw I can just get up real fast and just keep walking Oh God and I stand up real fast put on my weight on both my legs and I don't realize I twist of my ankle really bad so I immediately fall down game like I'm even worse than the first time And I'm just laying like and at that point is like I know I can't stand up

So I'm just like laying on the sidewalk Like defeated. I was just like waited for like a minute that I got up and to walk anybody help you or there No, no, no, no, no, no, you're like nobody saw we're good, but then you did about it. I Absolutely eight shit on my stairs this morning And my security camera got it than everything do we have footage? I mean I was in my under-ass. I don't really I could probably play the audio though. It's pretty funny Your stairs like down to your main floor. Yeah, I was just going up the stairs I just slipped and I hit you trip up the stairs

Yeah, I hit the step and I swear my entire kneecap went I hit the step and I swear my entire kneecap went I can't do kneecap things That really fucking play the order Yeah, we'll keep talking I I wiped out in Toronto this past summer I was wearing new shoes, so they weren't all like scuffed up at the moment you guys don't know the issue because you probably know I feel I wear nice shoes now, too So yet you guys don't know the issue because you probably know I feel like I wear my shoes now too. That's true. So, uh, slippery. Lindsay and I were leaving a bar and I had had one glass of wine not

drunk at all, but we're leaving and it's these like stone steps and somehow my legs slide or my feet slide off the stair and I go down like knees first. Like my feet somehow went like underneath me and and I went down forward and my knees and my legs all clanged onto those stone steps. And everybody outside, so I'm like, oh, you okay? And I'm sure everyone's like, look at this fucking drug. Fucking wine, oh. I got a certificate at a summer camp that I worked at.

It was most likely to injure themselves doing something that wouldn't necessarily end an injury or something. It was a really long run on joke certificate. That is absolutely true. It was, it was really bad. So I was going to be like a camp counselor for incoming freshman in college. And I had gone to, I guess you'd call it a job interview. I was trying to become the station manager of TSTV. So I had to get dressed up and a suit and everything.

I borrowed my friends' dress shoes because mine were ruined at the time from something else I'd done that was stupid. And I lost and then immediately had to go to this like first day of camp counselor like training session thing. We all got paired up with our co-counselors, our co-s. It was one of those places that was like at the time kind of fun, but in hindsight it was like they were drinking the cool aid. It was like hey co-woke the couch. Alright we're gonna have a great time. It's a study and it's like there's a lot of emotions here but it was first day it was like oh right we're gonna pair you up with your co-counter and we're gonna run through some team building exercises. First, pair up and it was some girl and

did she sound like that too? No she was pretty, she was more male, she was like, oh this is a thing. I was like, yeah, we're here for the next few months. And it was some exercise where we had to link arms and run across to go do something. I don't know, it was some physical exercise thing, but I looked like an asshole wearing a full suit and a dress shoes. And then it came time to do it and we were outside on some stone or whatever. And there were shoes that weren't mine and they were slippery on the bottom Then I thought and was like miles you go and I took one big step and I immediately fell and brought us both down onto the ground And I had my car keys on my pocket. Oh

Through the pants left a huge bruise. I bled a little bit. She was injured like it was just a Terrible first impression and then fast forward a few weeks We did some other fucking training exercise like yeah teamwork and I fucking tripped over knocked over five people and twisted my anger I had to wear a boot for the first few months. I was interning here and Yeah, they were just like this fucking guy man. That's so I have a piece of paper. I'll take a picture of it I'm gonna discard from that. No, I don't I have a Bunch from a bunch of other stupid shit, but that was when I got away from... You have the audio?

Yeah, I got it. Alright, this is Gavin's audio. They've been falling up the stairs. It's the cat's fault. Make sure you play it in the front of the mic. Alright, it's, uh, we'll be letting it in for 10 seconds. Alright, here I hear it here. That sounds like a fully sound effect for a fall.

It's like, yeah, we got this great movie. We got this great film of someone falling. We need to make a fully sound for someone falling. That is exactly it. I've never felt my knee moving so much. That was so swollen. It feels like it's full of fluid pulling up that surgery Are you limping at all? No, but I was just I didn't know what to do other than just lie there for about a minute Just go like that scene from family guys. Yeah, you know you mentioned that a thing and pulling the girl down with you And you know hurting yourself and hurting her. Yep. There's one thing with that.

One time when I was in college, there was this big trampoline that was out at the door across from ours. And you could just go and jump on it or whatever. There was this girl that I've been kind of seeing. I wouldn't say we were dating, but we'd gone out a couple times. And she was like, oh, let's go jump on the trampoline and I was like okay. Yeah, let's go jump on the trampoline I'm quite uncoordinated this fuck This is not gonna end well. So especially like younger even more awkward

Gus She was getting into so we like start jumping on the trampoline and something happens to where it's like I jumped and then the trampoline was coming up at just the exact wrong moment for her going down And it like you super bounced there. Yeah, I super bounced her, but it like it didn't break her ankle Got all fucked up. It's something happened to her ankle. I'm like the trampoline She's like you I'm just standing right here monster. And then it's like, I don't, I don't remember how she got to the doctor or whatever, but then I remember seeing her like the next day in the cafeteria and she had like crutches and her whole leg was like, all wrapped up. And I was like,

I did that. And I was like, is that from the trampoline? And she just like looked at me. And then it's like, I'm like, oh, that. And I was like, is that from the trampoline? And she just looked at me. And then just like, I get it. Like, no. No. And I was like, how long do you date after that? Oh, that was it. You're married now.

I don't think I ever talked to her again after that. That was a straw that broke the camel's foot. No. Nothing? No one. But yeah, I'm recording. Has anyone else ever done that?, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I there. It was like a way to kind of meet everybody. There was about 40 kids on the trip. And so it was a way to break the ice with everybody. We had a thing where we raced around the sand track. And then it was like the three girls and the three guys who were the winners then like paired up

together. And they were supposed to do like a piggyback race. So I got on this guy's back. Two other girls get on two other guys's back and like ready to race. They say go instantly every single person takes like three steps and because of the way the way they shifted, all three girls go tumbling forward off the guy, including me. And like I twisted my ankle super bad and like all the guys felt super horrible because everyone was like the adrenaline was going. Everyone's ready to go. and just the momentum of someone being

on someone's back just tossed us off into the sand. I had one thing that ruined it with a go once. Yeah. No. I made her laugh once. She fought it and never told to me again. To be fair that's not your fault. she was too embarrassed to let me in the dam I was like I don't care if I let's make this make this happen and she's like just went all red and then left everyone everyone far I know how old were you how was she about 18 probably 17 oh my god it ruined it I wish I never told I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is.

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I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that something that you don't want to do it again. Yeah, she just left. That made me the first one I got away. Pluto and other countries started a new life with a new name. Turns she never farted again. And her name. She just can't just expand in my culture. So I had the most mental thing that's ever happened to me in a video game. How much co-op HALO have you played?

Oh my god, bloody right. Way too much. I don't know if you're aware of all the, you know, the HALER game's levels of difficulty. HALER 2 is by far the hardest. Oh, HALER 2 has a thing, it's basically the equivalent of the iron skull where if one of you dies, you both go back to the checkpoint. Now the master chief collection is a broken turd. Let's see if I can get it twice. I keep playing because I want all the achievements. I got like 3500 gamers screwing it out. But there's this level called quarantine zone. I want to know if anyone else has had this problem because it is ridiculous. The longest Halo level I think. It's pretty long. It sucks. It's like you're the arbiter. This flood everywhere. Yeah. So Dan and I, I play with Dan, Slima guy Dan, we're like, maybe two hours.

Dan Grunty. We're probably two hours into this level. And one of us gets a checkpoint, and the other one doesn't. So we don't notice this. But it happened a few times trying to beat this level. So when one of you die, dies, you both give us the checkpoint right we now have two different checkpoints so he goes back to here I go all the way back to here and We're trying to figure out what's happened there because everything's looking weird on each other screen

Turns out that I'm controlling me on my screen But also on his screen in a completely different place. Oh weird what so We couldn't figure this out for ages like I kept like running into a wall and like driving off the cliff and stuff. And I was like, what are we, what are we reset? Neither us died. And he'd be like, no, you're just died. Because I'm dying on his screen. So, we're like two hours in. We don't want to start again. And I'm thinking like, well, we're completely desynced.

We're in different parts of the level, but we're still controlling ourselves in both dimensions. And if any one of the four dies, you reset. Exactly, so there's now four chances for you to go back to the checkpoint. So I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, okay, so we're in this room. Let me sit, you stay here, let me see if I can just beat the rest of my world on my own. And I tried that a few times, like I'd run ahead, but he would die on my screen.

I'd be like, oh, you died. So I spent age, I spent like maybe five minutes clearing out the room. We started in. It's like clearing out the room, like, clearing all the flood. He's pressing himself because on his screen, I'm just shooting the wall and like punching the air. So I finally get Dan safe in my words. You're safe in my world. Stay safe in your world. Keep me safe in yours. And I'm going to go clear the rest of the level. So I level So I run off online like you're doing flood and he's laughing because I'm just like doing this stuff And then a bunch on my screen a bunch of flood come running around the corner. I throw grenade into the On his screen I grenade in myself

No! And I grenade in my face. I was like, well that's not gonna work. Alright clear out the room again do all that Every time I throw grenade and I'm gonna take three steps backwards first So I'd be like running into these types of flutters, and then on my screen, I'd be running backwards for no reason, but on his screen, I'm like running away from a wall and throwing it. It was like the hardest, it was like lasso,

it was like all skulls on. It's amazing. That an even greater difficulty. They should make that an actual thing. Yeah, it was actually really interesting, like trying to think in one invisible dimension that actually directly affects you. It makes me think of when they would play chess on Star Trek and it was like the three levels and then move between the different levels.

Yeah, in the end we just we just couldn't do it because I would die like we would die on each other's stuff. It was an absolute nightmare. We ended up having to restart the level. We de-sync to get in that level. It sounds like a fun game. Even if like let's say Dan was at let's call it checkpoint two when you're at checkpoint one and your clone is at checkpoint two and his clone is at checkpoint one. If you advanced to checkpoint two would you see Dan and your clone or is there nothing there? I don't think I don't think I don't think we made it to the point where we could test that out but I doubt right right. It would be like six of us not four some sort of crazy paradox but not you for well you mean like he would actually see us like come into the room right okay yeah

could you stand next to yourself that we missed one that you're controlling your screen and one you're controlling on his screen but I would still be like controlling both dudes in the same room wouldn't I that right I would have like double firepower then? Yeah. That's pretty good. But yeah, it was an absolute nightmare. We couldn't do it. We tried for like, and maybe an hour without him to go back. We encountered a new Halo bug recently for RVB. So Kyle and Josh have taken over Machinima for season 13.

And I think it was Josh was working on an upcoming PSA. And you know, it was a scene that had a few characters. Donut was a member of the cast. And he's filming the scene. He's got everybody set up there in their area doing, you know, hello, I'm Barr from the popular web series. And then you hear Suicide. I think the, what?

He puts down the controller and he looks at everybody. You know, that guns there, that one's there. And nobody was shooting. Why is Donut at the spawn point? So he goes back nobody was shooting Why is donut at the spawn point? So he goes back later. He goes to look at the footage He at the time. He's like whatever that was strange at the safe. What's that? He's looking at the safe right now. He's still in the game He's in the actual game walking around with the director donut has for some reason just spawned again So he's like I guess I guess something happened to donut that's true. Okay. Well, all right

Whatever he goes on he films the rest of the scenes. He's like, all right, leave game, open up theater file, Valhalla. All right, I wanna know what happened to donut. So he's just sitting there, because you have to, you can't skip forward in the theater files. You have to fast forward, I think it's like three times a speed. So a lot of times you're just sitting there waiting to get to the stuff that you filmed.

So he decided he was just gonna leave the camera on donut and he's just, I'm watching you, motherfucker. What are you doing? He just left him by a rock. He's just you know there's a there's an area on Valhalla. There's a little babbling brook of a stone. He's just standing there. He's mine on his own business. And then suddenly the shield breaks and Donut's gone.

He's just gone and he doesn't understand what has happened. So he's like all right, let's go back. Let's go back. He slows it down to the frame by frame level. Donut is standing there, throws his arms up in the air as if he's been hitting the back of the head. His shield breaks, which creates this big golden flash.

And then suddenly, next frame, he's like six feet in the air. And next frame, he's six more feet in the air. Oh, he just went straight on it. Just went, no fucking firework was just shot into the air through the invisible wall I have like completely out of the geometry of the map and just he he recorded it and saved it We love to see we're gonna we're gonna normally we do blupper line reads, but I think we're all gonna

Scream just like I think we're also gonna add in Kind of five Happy New Year I think we're also gonna add in a kind of five Happy New Year Like a fucking rocket dude. I've never ever in the years of messing with Halo seen anything like that It was just a glitch. It was just now I've seen shit like that in game fails where someone will get hit with a ghost bounce off a rock and they just And I was just like thinking it sounds similar to remember like Halo 2 where the

Jumping super john you would get the super bounce. Yeah, but you wouldn't die from that. She was just standing there. And then some fucking like Jesus like figure, just falcon punched him into the stratosphere. It was amazing. So because of that and one other incident that we had with MoCAP,

we're now I think going to make a special blooper section for the DVD. That is also like technical fuck ups. Yeah, I surprise you haven't done that before because there seems to be a lot. It's, you know, it's just an extra step, like as lazy as that sounds, when we have, when you have as much shit

as we're trying to get done for the, for the disc, it's like sometimes just adding one extra package is just like, oh my God, I don't even know if we have time. But we've had enough silly weird things that I think it's worth it. And we had one in the first episode, a season 13, that was Sean and I were doing Mocap. So season 13 spoilers for anybody who cares.

In the first episode, there's a heist on a prison ship. And we got all these bad guys going around killing crew members and stuff. About halfway through the episode, we've got the shot of Locus and Felix walking forward. And there's a space pirate fighting a prison crew member in the background. He pushes him over a railing, headbutts him, and pushes him to his death.

That was me, I was playing the pirate, and then one of our animators, Sean, was the crew member. And it was the first time in the season when we were going to do like a stunt. So we actually built like a railing and put in the mats, we could push him over, and we had spotters, and everything was good. And the first time we do it, I walk over, we walk over and action, we roll, roll, roll, I get

into the railing, I pretend to hit them and I push them over. I'm like, okay, that was good, that was good, but it didn't look ferocious enough. So I was like, all right, this time I'm going to like really shake you. So we do it, we get to it, I get to the railing, I shake them and I hit them and I throw them over. And then we're like, it's just missing something. So for the last one, we decided, dude, headbutt. He's like, yeah, dude, we'll do a headbutt.

So we do it, we bring him over, I get him to the railing, I headbutt him, and I push him over and his legs come up and right in between mine, they make contact. I know, you know on the wheel of fortune, how they spin it and the little thing goes, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da But it was a great take. So the full version of that mocap file is 555 struggle struggle, head butt, pushover, deliver line. And cut.

And then, I just thought, I just thought, I just thought, I just thought, I'm jumping around holding this nuts. It was, that was a fun day. That was a fun, it reminds me like, because it's all in mocap and it all becomes like the CG world. Very much like those fake bloopers they added

into like toy story and stuff. Yeah. Like when they get like stuck in the roller tape and stuff. It's almost like that. Like a legit blooper in this fake world. Yeah, they have a fake boom mic, everything. And the camera will go out of focus. I always thought that was so useful. I never made super parts of the movie.

Yeah, we got to think about, I mean, you talk about adding one more package into the stuff you're doing. But imagine if you're making a Pixar movie, like, oh oh, fuck, we gotta animate and render this whole other. Right in and every, oh, god. You know, 90 second sequence. That's how you're going in the movie. How much bigger teams though? Yeah, but still the render times are crazy on that.

Like it takes, you know, if everything goes well, you know. Yeah, we were scared that episode one wasn't gonna happen. Like even though we had all the animation done, we still just had to wait on frames to get rendered. There was one scene in was one scene, an episode one that, one frame of, of the shot took 40 minutes to render. I'll cross all of our machines. I don't, I don't know exactly how they said it, had it set up, but yeah, most of, like most of those machines in our animation bay, when people

leave for the night, they just become render machines. And a single frame would take, I think it was 40. Didn't it like a render farm at one point? Oh, we still do. We still do, but we are doing a lot crazy things in our VV. Like we're just getting started. It's nuts. Yeah, there's always like, you don't matter how many machines

you put in the render farm, you'll just start to get an advantage of it. And it's like the render time never goes down. Yeah, we had a special effects meeting today. And Jeff, our technical director, I'm pretty sure he wanted to strangle me and throw me into the trunk of his car when I told him what we were gonna do. Someday. One day, yeah, one day.

He's way into the end of the season. Yeah. Yeah, once you're no longer needed. Seems like your job is damn heck-tick at the moment. Like whenever I walk by, there's always like seven people trying to talk to, and you're like sometimes you're like going between people's desks on the scooter.

Oh yeah, no, the scooter's great. Yeah, it's really. It's really, no machinima now. No machinima for you. No, it makes me sad like because I love doing machinima. I got to do some today like we've got some things coming down the line that Kyle need a lot of hands for and whenever I'm available, it's fun to help out with that. And then I feel really cool because Kyle's like, all right, you're going to do this, you're going to do that. Miles Pro, you're taking three controllers. Yeah, what's up? I've been here for a while. Yeah, no, it's's crazy busy I've learned more on just these last few

months about like the scale of really big animated projects like it's it's absolutely insane but we have a really good team they're so good great experience to have yeah yeah like it's a lot of like I don't know Aaron appreciates you believe here yeah so it's it's been really crazy and yeah We just had episode five just went up today. So that was really fun. We had a Sunday for sponsors that yeah a lot of people Don't know even though we tweet about it It's a five sponsors can watch it people freaking out about you know of our releases are moving to a day early now Yeah, it's cool. So you're welcome sponsored. Yeah. Thank you for being a sponsor. We do it because we love you

You had another one of the many perks extra love Let's list the office I was thinking you know another thing that sponsors can do is they can watch the livestream when we record these these podcasts and You know sometimes stuff gets cut and yeah, who knows it's rare, but sometimes stuff will get cut. And before the podcast today I was thinking what if we coordinated a prank with all of the sponsors or it's like we just like have like dead air for like five seconds and it come back and be like oh my god I can't believe you said that we're definitely cutting that we're never talking about that again.

That was only for the sponsors. It's only on the livestream and then we cut the part where we set it up out of the actual release Can we do that right now? Let's do it. Is that a thing? Who wants to set the racial slur So how's this gonna work how we like How's this gonna work how we like? Oh, we're definitely cutting that Jesus Barbara. I can't believe you said that they're gonna fire you stop that Can you stop that what's happening? We'll cut it. Is that okay? Yeah, what's cut it? I don't want to be fired. We're gonna we definitely definitely gonna talk with HR. I'm not okay with that

I'm not half Mexican right? Yeah We can't laugh. I all of it. We can't wear it. I was fine until I liked it already. You look really sad, yeah, that was a good tip. It's acting. All right, we fucked it up. Oh, it was a good effort.

One day. You've suffered everyone. One day. Have you ever been disappointed because there's certain yeah. I think all the things that keep you from doing a certain prank. Like, all right. So I thought a prank that would work great, but only in a bathroom, but you can't feel. No, you're me now. All right. All right. You want to do a bathroom, right? Public, public bathroom.

Okay. A stall has been used. You're like, okay. So you use the urinal, whatever else is your, whatever else you're there to do. Um, you just hear the person in the stall just rip a massive just earth shattering fart. And then suddenly you smell cinnamon rolls. Like you just smell the most pleasant aroma. Well, how would you hide the smell of cinnamon rolls? Well, it'd be something. It has to be some sort of like, you know, they had that you had the vomit spray or whatever, right?

Surely they have some sort of bringing oven into the bathroom. Some sort of bottled fragrance. You rip the fart. Whatever right surely they have some spring and oven into the bathroom Bottled fragrance you rip the fart during the fart you spray the really good smell and the guy is laughing like oh that's so good raspberries I just like to see people I mean to do that in a bathroom. Could we what you want to talk to HR about that? So let me tell you about something. Esther showed me this the other day. You're the girls bathroom. There's no urinals in there, obviously. I'm Meg Ashley.

Other Ashley. Everybody you heard it. Barbara gave us permission. There's a, when you find that camera. I, obviously I don't know if this stuff works or not, but Esther showed me this website the other day. Where you can order these pills that will change the way your fart smells. Yeah, cool shit. So that you can, there's three different versions. You can either have your fart smell like roses, chocolate or ginger. What have

it? It's always. It's always. It's always. It's always. It's always. It's always. Ginger would only be a good option. Huh? I feel like ginger would be the only good option. I don't know really. Can we try it? It's like 20 I would do it or 20 euros for the pills But here's the question. What's more embarrassing the smell of a fart of the sound of a fart sound of fart? Smell of fart. Well, hmm it depends. I mean if it's your silent assassin then it The smell gives you a yeah, no, I actually know what I trigger my answer. You're right I think it's a smell because if you farts are funny until until the smell hits you Yeah, nothing's funnier than toilet fart Jeff. I reverb is hilarious

Let's just why is it the thoughts of different through water? So like no, not not sound different just they smell different. They smell worse. You think they just smell different Do you think so like you talk about like you fart underwater and then when the bubble comes up and bursts like you could I could fight in your face. You could find my face and then you fight it underwater. I could tell you which one was the water thought Are you sure about that how do you know that they smell different? Have you gone from like your friend just blasted you Concentrated like you fart in the air and it dissipates instantly even if you've just had a shower And the whole bubble right now now I see the science behind it.

But it doesn't matter. I don't think you need that much water. I think if you have a bit of water on your anus when you get out of the shower and you fart through it, it's the same. Do you talk about wet farts? But not just a wet fart. And I actually wet fart.

Right, that's what I said. What is it? What a wet fart to me is just like a wet sounding fart that's dry. How is that any different then? Because you're farting through water. But whatever it's wet. What's wet like a wet sounding fart that's dry. How was that any different? Because you're fighting through water, but whatever to wet. What's what wet the wet The farts wet and the waters wet the farts wet like but you're dry right different No, it's not it's not water different, but it's different to the water

But how would how would what if it's the same thing right no because what your wayness unpooh this is the stupidest fucking conversation I've ever heard oh my That's gonna be someone on Twitter Can someone tweet me and see if you agree if they're away we could measure this is there like Science is immersion season three Like there's no two things that can't be measured right but yeah Season three. There's no two things that can't be measured, right? But yeah, how would you...

The debate can! No, right? Look, if two things are different, they can always be measured. How do you measure the difference in a fart? I don't know if a scientist probably can. They can just like... Science tests. They can send us a fanometer.

They can send us a fanometer. Scan the fecal particles, maybe that's the indicator, or like the composition of a fart molecule is as extra nitrogen in in it or something on methane I don't know But please But why would it why would the wetness change the molecular structure of the fart? That is Hydrogen and oxygen molecules there there now yeah, but not methane

We never find in the buff Again you get that you get that deep rumble and it's way fine here Yeah, and then you and you can't actually see your thought it's like wow it was a bubble this big I never thought about Gazing this size of a fuck what is it a quiff in a bathtub is that that's just gross Barbara you got too far oh my god Barbara come on oh we're

different than that get rid of it you know that's the least in the boss probably it's the same sort of like bubble size or something left. No it's less. Do you think is it possible to quee from part at the same time? Yeah. The elusive court.

Can confirm. Court? Quot. Yeah. Like thief. We are at work right now. Did anyone say anything? People listen to this. Yeah, I don't know why. Oh, it takes a while. There's a bit of a delay. Oh, God. Let's see. You guys have all experienced someone queuing I assume. Yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. I think. What was your first experience with

that? Like, were you gone off-guard and do you think it was a fart? No, it was no. Tell it. It was in the middle of sex with my girlfriend in high school. And it was like a, it was no To tell it it was in the middle of sex with a my girlfriend in high school and it was like a it was like things were going at it And it was just like this is essentially if you would have security cameras, right and you heard the audio you hear Followed by sorry, and then she never called me again It was But a cleaf is just add that someone else put that right yeah, yeah, I don't come from within no It's there that someone else is putting there. I've heard something like yoga cleaf so It didn't come from within. No, it's there that someone else is putting there. I've heard something about yoga queefs though.

Oh, well, I took Pilates and there's also Pilates queefs. Yeah? Because you're bending in a way where somehow there's air that goes in and that comes out simultaneously based on how you're bent. And so they usually don't sound like anything because you usually bent while it happens, but you just feel like,

ffucked. Ffucked. Like the flash just came in and that. And so, you know, they usually don't sound like anything because you usually bent while it happens, but you just feel like, ffff. Ffff. Like the flash just came in and that. Yeah, and honestly, that's what it feels like. And you kinda like look around to make sure no one felt it. It's like the first time I've seen you just like, nice. Their hair's just like this.

Oh my God. I had a really bad experience. Wait, what? With a quick thing one time. What, you cleaved? Yeah, but it a really bad experience. Wait what? We think one time what you cleaved yeah, but it was really really embarrassing because usually when it happens It's just like one like Or like whatever What do it do it in complete silence. I want a new text time Whenever you text now that's gonna be the noise. It's like a trombone player with a silencer.

Yeah, but usually it's just once, right? Sure, like, no. We don't know. Yeah, I don't know, but yeah. But one time I guess a lot of air had been put inside me, so I got out there. I'm sorry. Go on. It's worse when you don't elaborate, but okay go on

For me a clown was holding up I'm gonna make a poop so I got up Queef and I was like oh that's embarrassing but every step I took I I took I Oh, and you've had running farts before right we just seven or eight of them Seven creep Wow, the big halo was killed is again high pitched As you as slowly emptying yourself we pocket

Queen of my jar My god, I was a queen of a manjar! Oh my god. It was a highlight of my life. Wow. Well that's a brave story to tell, Barbara. Thanks for coming forward for Queen Through's All Around the World. I can tell it means a lot to crime. I see it. It's a very emotional story. It was a traumatic experience.

I'm trying to get over it slowly. I remember being upset when I was in high school. Because there was a popular kid in my Spanish class He was kind of a dick and you know when you're like kind of a nerd you always even if they never really did anything bad to you There's just like this jealousy about the popular kids. Oh, they're beautiful and athletic fuck those guys. I hate those guys So I've heard this guy This guy is an ass cut for that It was in the middle of a test and he just rips ass and I remember

thinking yes, they bleed just like us. He will be brought down to our level. And everyone looks at him, giggles and he just goes, sorry, excuse me. And then just went right back to his test and then everyone just settled and I just remember feeling I've never felt more cheated in my entire life. It wasn't fair. He was supposed to be humiliated but he had to act like an adult. I was hoping the story would end with and then he turned around and was just like miles. Oh God. Pardon me. No, that's what I want to move to with my pants.

Did you ever see that? Wasn't the dirty body sketch with Brian and the skateboard, where the kid who shits his pants on the first day of school, and then just tries to just start over and leaves the room and then comes back in as if nothing has happened even though he's carrying shit in his pants. Oh, God. Oh, it's amazing. Oh, dear. Guys are hilarious. No, I've never seen that one. Oh, we'll watch it. Do they still make videos? I don't think

so. I actually most of them went on to some of them are writing and deepening on community and stuff. I don't think so. I think actually most of them went on to some of them are writing in Deeping on community and stuff We're dongle over came from right? Yep, that shit's really funny. It's crazy thing like Because the quality of the videos are you know if you're running around in high school with a video camera Your stuff looks like shit, but the writing was there from the beginning like it's so so funny So shout out to those guys. Because if they need it. Yeah, I think they've gone on and done and done some big things. You're gonna read another one of these things. I want to remind everyone this episode of the podcast is also brought to you by Sherry's Barys. Mother's Day

is this weekend. It's officially the last minute. Well, not for us, for normal people. Not sure how to put your thanks in awards this Mother's Day. Swizzle speak louder than words. Freshly dipped berries with decorative swizzles. This Mother's Day, you know what to say in your heart. Here's how you say it out loud. Show mom you'll over with a gift from Sherry's berries. For our listeners, Sherry's berries is offering giant freshly dipped strawberries starting at 1999. Over 40% savings. And for our listeners you can double the berries for just $10 more,

which you have to use our code Teeth. The berries dipped in white, milk and dark chocolate, topped with chocolate chips, nuts, and decorative swizzle, truth from berries, cake truffles, brownie pops, pretzels, more, which is used code Teeth when you order. So they start at just 1999, over 40% savings, visit berries.com, that's B-E-R-R-I-E-S Click on the microphone in the top right corner and type in teeth. It's berries.com, click on the microphone, type in teeth. I know everyone here was very disappointed to hear we did not have more berries to eat.

What? Sorry. They're always a joy. I can't believe Jack ate them into the microphone last week. Yeah, he's off the pugg as far as I can. He's out. He's fired. He, like, he was eating the sherry's berries right into the microphone, even though I kept telling him not to. I know how gross it is.

It's my ass. But Jack though. They're so, and they're really juicy. So just like that, went eating noise, stop it. That's probably like an asthma thing, somewhere. It's just like eating right into it. That's gonna be another fetish, right? It's not a sex thing.

I, uh, I, uh, maybe. I read this article earlier today. I think it was on Mashable, and they linked to like a local news, out, like a local news station in New Mexico somewhere, where they had some laboratory go and swab men's beards to determine like what bacteria and how dirty beards are. Can we submit Shakespeare?

I already know what you're going to say in the one year. Yeah, it was dirtier than toilet. What? So basically there's like poo poo. Yes, there was like fecal material and like. How did feek feekest get in there? Feekest. Something to the name of someone's pet. I'll send you the link when it's just like yeah

Yeah, you get the bike is because it's okay You feel the you ever see like those demonstrations that people do when they show you like a flushing toilet And exactly how much particulate gets thrown up into the air a poopy new kids. Yeah, I can shoot up like 45 So that's why I keep my toothbrush out of the bathroom. Keep your toothbrush away, covered something, because toilets are gross and they, they should be actually. So does that mean whenever Jack flushes the toilet, just all of his turds?

It was right back in his beard. So surely that has to stop at some point. Like it must get to the point where your beard has all of the turd in it that it can catch. And then it takes its own shit. Yeah, we're looking at the swab video right now. Is this for people who don't wash their beard every day though? No, this was just like random people who like submitted to it.

Because Jack always talks about how often and how thoroughly he washes. Do you believe that for a second? I actually do. Even still, there's like this depth to that thing that I don't think even his fingers could get to. Even he doesn't know how deep this thing goes journey to the center of the beer like what about this bit like right here like not it what I mean to get to his part of that he would have to push on so much hair he can't like go around it or he would have to push the hair so I

don't think he's cleaning the bit under the hair that's being squashed on it hmm you have to like completely have to take baths to get like all the faster gross No, nothing gets cleaned by a bath. Yeah, you're just soaking it. That's not true. Baths are fucking filthy. They're lovely and relaxing. They're not clean though I'm here we are again Why do you clean? Do you clean to be clean or do you clean to not smell like a piece of shit to be clean? Yeah, but if you don't smell like shit, then you'll clean no Your beards don't smell like shit, but they're filled with shit. I imagine Jack's beard does smell like shit. I imagine your beard doesn't Smell is beard

Quite nice actually I'm going to change the thing. I'm going to change the thing. I'm going to change the thing. I'm going to change the thing. I'm going to change the thing. I'm going to change the thing.

I'm going to change the thing. I'm going to change the thing. I'm going to change the thing. You can clean yourself, you can clean yourself, you get clean, you smell good, get all the cracks and crebs, you get up. You can't get clean in a bath. But you smell good, and then bath done, you smell good, you feel clean. You're a kez of your clean. You're covered in shit water. From what, wait, wait, wait, you see the wall. How dirty is your bottle before getting in the bath? Like this buttholes are filthy, there's no cleaning of the wall.

They're filthy, but I don't think they can spread all over your body from the bath You might just get like a shitty knee or something I think your whole body will be one a-ness worth. I think it is That would I could have to agree with Gavin. No, no wait really. Yeah, I just think it's not nice. You're clean I cuz I don't think that now we're just arguing not really though But if you've actually washed you're clean by society standards. Yeah, and that's all that matters. But here's a thing. You're also a woman. I'm gonna say, no, I think we'll be scavenging on this.

Being clean by society, well, I mean, I guess it depends on what you value more in life is what society thinks of yourself. But there's no way to be clean, clean, because the moment you leave your fucking bath or shower or whatever, you're just gonna run into another club. Let's look at the definition of clean. Like, when do you, when do you say you're just gonna run into another cloud. Let's look at the definition of clean. Like when do you say you're clean? There's all kinds of bacteria living all over your body, but you can't get off and it's on there and you're still clean. Technically.

I just think people are such germophobes that they need to chill the fuck out. You having a immune system? Survive this long. Do you ever see the footage of those little creatures that live in the base of your eyelashes? Yeah. It's cool.

I like having neighbors. The definition of clean is free from dirt. Marks were stains. Right. It says nothing about duty flex. And a bath can do it exactly. Dirty flex stains, aren't they? Yeah, it's invisible.

It's insane. It's something that's visible. If I've got out of a bath, it's just full of fecal microscopic particles. But I don't have any dirt, marks, or stains. I win the bath. So then theoretically, you could stink, but still be clean, because I don't have any dirt marks or stains. I win the bar. So then theoretically you could stink But still be clean because you don't have any marks or stains on you That is according to that definition 100% in your fucking face mr. Free

Comfort microphone no fucking drop it. Well, he's dropped something it Drop something it no So the big thing this past weekend everyone's talking about was that the boxing match Mayway there I'm not a boxing fan at all, but Even I was like, oh, I'm kind of interested in this you know what's talking about it Maybe I'll buy some pay-per-view. It's a hundred fucking dollars. I'm not I don't even like boxing I'm not gonna I think the whole event made's a hundred fucking dollars. I don't even like boxing, I'm not gonna. I think the whole event made like $500 million.

It was supposedly, and it made where they've got 200 of it, 200 million. Yeah, supposedly it was gonna be the most purchased Pay Per View event ever. I think the previous record was like 2.4 million people bought it. So if 2.5 million people bought this at $100 bucks, each has $250 million, just from Pay Per View revenue, not what's what's made real. Just watch two guys hate each other. And a couple other fights before them. You know, but who cares, right? So a couple of things

of interest from that. I guess it was like a huge thing for Periscope going back to our earlier discussion where Periscope saw the most number of people watching streams at one time ever because people were live streaming the fight from Periscope and people who didn't want to pay the hundred dollars were watching it on these streams. Can you charge for your Periscope? You can, but that's crazy. And there's no way for them to shut it down. Right, that doesn't exist yet.

Because it's not like on YouTube or anything. That'd be a great way for Periscope to make money though. I just have a subscription thing that you can just flip on and be like hey, I'm joking off You can pay ten bucks to watch if you want I would charge 20 Come on, I'm Gus That's interesting but yeah, so and I know people who I follow on Twitter who were doing like oh I'm just watching the final Paris go like that's really what also doesn't seem like a good way to watch Yeah, more people who are filming their TV. I don't know people act the actualope, that's really what also doesn't seem like a good way to fall. Is it more people who are filming their TV?

I don't know. People act the actual light. That's really good. It's probably people filming the TV. It's probably people filming the TV. Yeah. Just leave your phone. And they're probably just talking or doing their reaction or whatever.

So that's like a weird phenomenon to me. But I was only good at talking about that in passing. The thing I really want to talk about is there was a pre-fight interview with Floyd Mayweather. There's a report I sent this to Barbara earlier so I'd have someone who'd seen it. There's a reporter who's talking to him. There's like, there's a big fight, there's a lot going on. Tell us about, what's the word you start with in the end? Tell us about the's a big fight. There's a lot going on. Tell us about what's the word you start with an M. Tell us about the, oh yeah, tell us about the magnitude of this fight.

It doesn't seem any way to like, um, yeah, this fight has, uh, yeah, this fight, you know, lots of magnitude. Oh, yeah. It's like, it's just so painful because you realize you doesn't know what the word magnitude means. Yeah. It's so much of it. Yeah. So sad. He's trying to talk about it.

It's the dude that gets punched for a living. Leave him alone. I'd say that 607 magnitudes. But it's right. But a reminder of that older video, I guess he got into an argument with 50 cent. I don't know if it was like a year ago or two years ago, where I think 50 cent told him that if he could read a page of a Harry Potter book on the air in less than 10 minutes, that 50 cent would donate $750,000 to charity of his choosing, because apparently Floyd Mayweather had tried to read these radio spots,

like these little bumpers, these 10 second bumpers for a radio station, and just couldn't do it. And this audio exists on the internet. You can listen to this. It's like a three minute long take of him trying to butcher his way. What are we playing? We'll put it in the link down. I don't want to play right now. We're talking. You should watch it after the first. But it's it's hard. Like you're right. It's like this is a dude who has some academic problems. He's like he is paid to beat people up. He is a strong dude who can hit really hard and that's it, that's the extent of his skills. Makes a lot of money. Yeah, it makes a lot. Obviously he's...

I think he followed me on Twitter by accident. You know how you get followed by some celebrities but they follow a hundred thousand people? He followed me when he followed like 150 people. He must have just pressed it by accident or something. They follow 100,000 people. He followed me when he followed 150 people. I was like, how did he, he must have just like, see, pressed it by accident or something. I have it all the time. Unless he's a slow mo fan, but I don't see that as a thing. Did you ever tweet at him?

No, I could DM him, though. That's really great. I'll be like, Andrew WK just started following Aaron like a few months back. I'm so jealous. Yeah, that's awesome. Andrew WK wants to bang your girlfriend.

Dude, that's exactly what I want from the head. Get in line. Did you say you want to bang your girlfriend. Dude. That's exactly what I want to get from the head. Get in line. Did you say you want to bang your girlfriend? Yeah, dude. How many times did you monk it while she was in Australia? Ooh. I guess you could have busy. Do you even have time to go to a coffee room?

I kind of, I tried it like I would. A lot of times start my day with it. You know, it's really the only time. That's my me time. I don't know. Watson. Leave me. That's really hoping it would go that direction. Oh come on.

It's been a couple days. Watson get in here. Your dog was like a staple here for a while. He became like the office there. He's like, yeah, because I had a normally, you know, Aaron gets home from work like in middle of the afternoon. So she's able to take care of him and stuff. But I don't know when I leave every day.

I get to work and like, maybe I'll see the sun before I leave. And so I took him to work with me and everybody really loved him. The first day though, he just r- you, he hated you. You were one of the people. It was Rick, our intern Cali, and you were just like Satan incarnate before him. He hated minorities. Your dog is racist. But it's Mexican, Mexican, blonde girl.

One of these things is not like the other. Dog's don't know that blonde goes Not a different race. What's that? Not it wasn't me though I'm trying to say Jewish it was just we were all like in that we have like morning meetings on the RVB team Where I'll talk about what we're supposed to do then he just comes like trot and then like hey, what's up? Hey, this is my new place. Hey who the fuck are you? And he just started barking and howling at Rick and so then Rick started treats to work. And now Watson hangs out by Rick's desk all the time because he's a slut for food.

Aren't we all? Yeah, it's very true. Did I tell my time-wornestoy in the podcast yet? I heard about this on Twitter. I don't think so. Well, just normal saturday guy knocks on the front door. Hey, what's up? Nobody ever knocks on my front door.

So let me do it with like, like, I had to do the windows. I was like, here's this guy. Oh, he's got a van. So I was like, yeah, what's that? Nobody ever knocks him a front door, so I'm immediately like like I'm through the window, I was like, who's this guy? Oh, he's got a van. So I was like, yeah, what's that? Oh, he must be alright. If anything, I'm gonna take a van. If there's no windows on the van, I'm sure he's fine. He's not job as witness, basically.

He's got a van. We never drive a van. I don't think they do. They're like, you're walking shit. They walk everywhere. Anyway, he was like, I'm an engineer from Time Warner, just gonna check your line. I was like, well, check what? What do you mean check the line? just gonna check your line I was like well check what we mean check the line

He's like go check see if there's a filter on the on the line I was like did we schedule an appointment anyway. It was like now. We just kind of send the technicians out to check the line And I was like Can you do it from outside the house? He's like yeah, I was like all right As long as you don't have to come in the house. I'm not in this room. We're gun the house. Yeah anyway I was playing Xbox with Dan. Didn't get disconnected immediately. I was like, oh yeah, I guess he must have had to unplug the internet, I guess, to check

this filter. So I was just like, sat there waiting. I was like, man, the internet's been off for quite a long time. Let me go and see where he, oh, he's gone. He just got in the van and driven off. And I was like, so this guy, like knocked on the door, disconnected my internet and drove off without fixing it. That is some Italian job, like high-school movie shit.

So I mean, we really thinking, didn't say time won on the van, this was just some bloke who's now bugged my internet, probably put some sort of device on it where he's like monitoring on my crap. I'm confused. I'm confused. I would be too. Can you call it? What happened? See if it was actually them. I did.

I got in touch and they were like, we have, we had no scheduled work. Oh, I'm probably out of the house. I mean, can you, can you send a real person to like, see what's happened in there? So it's having a new house, right? What the fuck, dude? So you know, I also had a time Warner issue last week where my

internet went out on Monday. Someone had ripped the cable off of the pole. Oh, in the street, I thought. So yeah, it was fine from my house. The cable was fine. It just was unplug from the pole, it was just lighting there. So I called them on Monday.

Do you want to do that? No, no, it was fine. I think I know who it was. It was like there were other contractors in the area, and I think one of them pulled it out my accident. But it's like, call them on Monday. Like, yeah, don't worry about it. We'll send someone out on Wednesday. It's like Wednesday. So yes, as soon as we can do it. I'm just giving it.

I'm giving it. I'm giving it a quick summary here. So then I call back and they're like, oh, yeah, don't worry. We'll take care of it when we get out there on Thursday. Like, what? You told me Wednesday. Oh, no, that guy was lying. We're not going to be there till Thursday. So then I scheduled the appointment anyway. I log on to their website and they could see reschedule appointment. So I rescheduled it for Tuesday. Ah, they came out on Tuesday and fixed it. Oh, okay, right. They don't know what they're doing. So then on Tuesday night, I'm like sitting in my place eating dinner. And I can see like a ladder go up and like hit the top of the pole. I'm like, mother fuckers are back out there. So I walk out and there's a time-order guy climbing the ladder and my neighbor. And my neighbor's like, oh, hey, is your internet working?

And I'm like, yeah, it's working now, but it wasn't earlier. Like, there was something wrong with it. He says, oh, yeah, mine's not working. It went out yesterday. I said, oh, really? Yeah, I called him yesterday and they said they could come today in the morning, but I was at work. So I told him, I didn't come out till the afternoon. I was like, you call time-order yesterday. And they said they could come out today. He's like, yeah, they were going to be out here first thing in the morning, but I was at work so I told him I they couldn't come out till the afternoon It's like you call time Warner yesterday and they said they could come out today He's like yeah, they were gonna be out here first thing in the morning

They just fucking with me They were gonna make a wait until Thursday if I hadn't logged into the website on my own I would have been waiting till fucking Thursday I would have you watching the other guy getting his internet fix while you're're just like, do they, when they fix your internet, they unplug his. I don't know. I think I think both of our score broke it. Okay. And then the guy showed up to fix mine.

He just only fixed my like, we, we share the same drop. I don't know how they just fixed mine and not the other guys. Have you ever had like run-ins with time-order cable before? Like, have you ever had issues with them in the past? Oh, yeah. Then they probably, you know what it is. They probably have a fucking like note on your account. It your accounts like don't do whatever the fuck this guy tells you He's a prick. Yeah, they had that on my Xbox live account for a while. Oh, yeah, I couldn't do anything with it

I think Aaron managed to do the opposite because we had a lot of problems with our like AT&T youver stuff To where she was on the phone with them It felt like three days out of the week every day trying to figure out what the you know what the fuck is going on But now whenever we call, we have a problem. It's a me like, oh yes ma'am, it's you again, Jesus Christ, we'll send you whatever you want. It's, she's a force to be reckoned with. So, yay, Aaron.

Yeah, I've talked about it before. So now I'm an adventure where someone, when I moved into my previous house, the previous owner had disconnected my gas So I didn't have any in gas service So I called the gas company back really angry and told them to show I'm gonna cancel everyone's gas on my block because fuck them And so they they fixed my problem because for free and I had they had me set up a password So that nobody could ever touch my account again

It's like this is great. This is a great idea. No so that nobody could ever touch my account again. It was like, this is great, this is a great idea. No one's ever gonna mess with my gas again. I set up a password in the account. So when I finally sold that house, I called the gas company, I'm like, yeah, I need to cancel my service because I'm moving. Like, oh yeah, yeah, it's cool, no problem.

What's a password? And this was like five years later. I'm like, what? Like, oh yeah, it's all, I've never seen this before. It's all over your account. It says, we cannot do anything without the password. I was like, what? Like, oh yeah, it's all, I've never seen this before. It's all over your account. It says, we cannot do anything without the password. I was like, is it this? Nope.

Is it this? Nope. Can you tell me what the first letter is? Nope. I was like, uh, we're gonna be here awhile. Did you end up figuring it out at one point? But it was really very secure. He's basically gotten every password

to like every account that you have. That's what you like guessed through like every account that you have. You like guess through all of them. Apparently. Guys. Like it's like something that was so happy about at one point that it turns around and it's like, it just fucks me in the end. He's so stupid. That's too bad.

Oh my god. That's a lot of vibrate. We got it all worked out. Finally got the service. Actually, I don't think I was able to transfer the service like there's utilities are weird like they could not Transfer my service from the old address to the new address. I had to start a new Account number under the same account and then both accounts existed for a while at the same time and even now when I log it to the gas website It's like I want to pay my bill which bill do you want to pay the old place Which bill do you want to pay? The old place you used to live in,

and the new place, the old place hasn't had a bill in a year, man. So you, like, do you do things like that where it's like, I'm going to do this, and I'll know later that this, this will mean, you know, X, Y. Like, I have to take, I have to take Adderall in the morning for ADHD. And one of the problems that I always have

is I can't remember if I took my medication or not. So I was like, I'm going to develop a system. I'll take out the bottle, I'll take my medication, and I'll close the bottle, and I'll place it upside down. And that's how I will know, but I've taken my medication. I did that. I did that. I left it there, and I came out the next day day and I'm sitting there and going All right.

I like to be signed off on this idea. Was there writing for this? And I had, I seriously had to sit there and be like, all right, what did I do just now? I got up, I took a shower and then I came in here and I either got my phone or took my medication. You need one of those things? Yes, I'll know one about an hour. Anyone those things that they have with like the days on the pillbox. I had one I lost it

I saw this invention You can purchase this online okay low price. Oh, whatever It's a repul so you know you medicine comes in those little bottles and it's got like the little childproof cap You twist to get your medicine out. It's a replacement cap Where you throw the original cap away and this new cap has a timer on it. So when you open it, it resets to zero. And then you close it.

So you know, you can look at it and be like, when's the last time I opened this bottle? Oh, it was eight hours ago or oh, it was 10 minutes ago. I want that. Yeah, let's get that. You can buy a pack of a first couple bucks. On Sunday or Monday, put out seven pills and then when you're out of

The seven we have to keep track of it Now got to point where I don't take it until I get to work because when I get to work now The adrenaline of me showing up at work will get me through the morning and then at lunch I'll take my medication so that I won't stop working until Late so and for a while I was like there was, there was a point in time where we were really like under the gun for some shit. And so I used to take two pills every day, and then as I got older I was like,

oh I only have to take one and blah, blah, blah, blah, I'm maturing, whatever the fuck. But there was a few times I was like, I'm gonna take two today, I'll take one here and then one at lunch. But I ate a really late lunch, and one of the, so Adderall has like 50 million fucking side effects like increased heart rate higher temperature

Sweating and one of them is insomnia. I took that pill at probably like 2.30 and I did not go to sleep until 4.30 in the morning I was livid. I was I just wanted to work more That's I could I could work forever. Oh there it is. Yeah work more. I could work forever. Oh, there it is. Yeah. We know that's designed for like old people and here I am. Absolutely losing my shit over this idea. Or could just buy the little day tree thing. I had another problem too where I was like, oh I know I'll get to work. And there was a lot of times where like I would pick up breakfast on the way to work. So I'd have breakfast like a drink and then my pill bottle. I'm going to do all my stuff.

I'd put the bottle back into my bag But then it got to the point where I couldn't remember if I'd remembered to take my pill bottle out with breakfast It was just did I put this back in my bag or has it not left my bag? I'm not good at a lot of them Emory related things. It's really really bad I'm glad I was on this podcast because now I know that mother's days Say it with pro flowers and turn on the very... And don't forget to click that microphone in the click-porn and use code to you. So I want to bring something up before we end the podcast.

I did this thing on Pivot TV a couple weeks ago where I got to film with this guy named Jacob Soberov. Have you guys heard of him before? Nope. What is Pivot TV like him? with this guy name Jacob Soberoff. Have you guys heard of him before? Nope, I what is pivot TV like him? Yeah, this is Jacob's. He is a Peter Parker. Part of the tribe as well. Very nice guy. He does a lot of like hosting stuff and apparently I actually Whoa, you are reading that girl was reading a news Yeah, I was reading a book called the Daily Texan. Oh, I'm very familiar with the Daily Texan. It is the hideout So this thing we did for New FNVodka was we got to go around in Austin and I got to basically

pick my favorite locations in Austin. It's right. And I chose Frank, the hideout. We also went to the Hope Outdoor Gallery, which I'd never been to before. Have you guys been there before? I know. It's like a, you'll see it in the clip coming up, but it's like a three story graffiti wall. Oh yeah, yeah. That's like off of Lamar, like three. It has like a three-story graffiti wall. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. That's off of Lamar, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, 11th or so? Yeah. So wait, you just, just go pay to get drunk all day. We, I mean, we hung out and like, you know, they had to hang out too, dude. We did a tour of Austin. We did a tour of Austin.

But it was, it was so much fun because it's basically like, hey, where do you like to go in Austin? Let's go there and you tell us about it. It's going to be on TV. That's cool. Yeah, so it was cool. Yeah so it was for you that you get to do this. Yeah. I don't know apparently I'm a social influencer but it's just funny that they chose me to do it a Canadian to give them a tour of Austin. It was just like our local Austinite barber dunkel man. It's like you should have gone around to unplugging people's cable. we did, you'll have to tune in to find out. So has it air yet or is it airing at some point?

I think it has. People have been telling me that they've been seeing it on TV. But I think it's kind of like a TV. Oh, it's the TV? Yeah, it's on TV. It's on TV. It doesn't sound like a TV channel. Yeah, you're right.

It sounds like a website. Yeah. In that way, like TV at the end is like. Well, you don't think of TV as saying TV. Yeah, you think of like internet sites doing that to try to I ordered a cable TV for the first time Is that an internet thing or something? It's weird hearing the TV at the end thing is I thought like taking like it's 2015 for viewers. Yes watching I thought we've got to the point where like a set top box could be like this big

I thought we've got to the point where like a set top box could be like this big. They sent me a big plastic bulky silver piece of shit that looks like it was made in 1997. As like composite on the front, like the black and red and yellow cable slots. What am I doing with this? Like why is there a modern set top box? There is. So, um, from time on, I have that same box that you're talking about now, but when I had my 18 T giga power, the set top box I had was probably a little bigger than the side pad.

So what I want. And it was tiny. It was like that. It was like this size, but like that tall and it didn't have a hard drive in it. Like the time when I was a hard drive. That's why it's so big. The computer, the the 18 T one I had was basically like all cloud-based. So it used the internet connection to stream all of my recorded stuff from the internet

down to it. So you'd go off that? Right, because I couldn't get it in my new place when I moved. I definitely want to go back. The picture quality was better. Yeah, I'm not a whine talking, so they can either pay me. I'm considering, it sounds weird. I probably had myself, if I heard myself say this,

from the past. I'm considering like, cancelling TV, because that thing's so ugly. Well, I'm not really a big TV watcher. Yeah, because I've got nowhere to put it. Like, everything on my entertainment thing is black, and it's like a big ugly silver plastic turd. And it won't fit in there.

That is the definition of a first world problem. It really is. What if you painted it black? Make a fun day of it. I was thinking of just like I So you my entertainment center I like I specifically went out and bought a very particular I spent I think two weeks looking for entertainment center that would hide every piece of ugly equipment I had and Look good and like fit in. Well, you haven't invited me over to you. I'm invited anyone over Yeah, I'm invited anyone over. Oh, yeah, I'm invited anyone over. I want to come over. I'm on hangout. I'm sitting here. Yeah, Gavin.

Yeah, you invited me over to your place either. You've been in your place longer than I've been in mine. Yeah. And you have a. So wait, if I invite you, I would do I get like a. Well, you will exchange a trade. No, my ex up. Yeah, I might cancel TV just because you don't like the way the box looks. Also, I made this I made this thing I don't even think about. My TV is in it's like I've got a wall that's not on on like the outside wall. Do you know what I mean? Like it's a wall that's in the middle of the room. It comes down and the stairs go up it, but it's not connected to the outer wall. My TV's on that okay, and a Wi-Fi to everything so internet and stuff But you can't Wi-Fi a set top box to the wall

Like you see the plug in that cable. So I have to have a cable going across the floor to get to my TV So now I'm thinking it's just not worth it. Also do you watch TV really nice for Meg? She has a bunch show us this. I mean, you should be able to run it through that wall. Like, all you have to do is you run, yeah. Everything's on Netflix and that's cool. You have a crawl space? Did you watch there?

Like, you could run it through your crawl space down through the... Yeah, but do I look like someone who's gonna figure that out? You could pay someone to run a cable through that crawl space. I was driving behind a truck the other day and it just said, handyman. And then the dude's phone number, that's gotta be like the easiest advertising ever. Like that's such a vague, it's not like plumber,

electrician, handyman, someone desperate, and he need of help says wait, can you fix this? And the person goes, all right, hold on one second. Google's how to fix it. And then goes, yeah, I'll be over in 15 minutes. He's like, I've got all the tools to do just about everything. Yeah, I kind of know some stuff. That's so, I don't know. I was really like in prayer. I was like, it've got all the tools to do just about everything. Yeah. I kind of know some stuff.

That's so, I don't know. I was really like in Pratt. I was like, it seemed really, really smart and also kind of risky. Well, it's like if you wrote on your video game player, it's like, we listen, we need someone to beat this game. You've never been like, yeah, okay. Yeah, I know my way. We talking to the first person shooter and animals. It's a three Xbox 360, PS4.

Oh, yeah, I know that. You got a $20 service fee on that. It beats mods. Yeah. Is there any third party mod installation? I remember my brother paid me five bucks to beat a boss when we were really young. That was the best $5 I've ever made in my entire life.

You're just like, if you're an older brother, it's your duty to beat stuff for your younger brother. One time I had my little brother play Halo for me when I was playing co-op with a bunch of friends. And everyone was like, my hand, Barbara, you're really good. Just a ground game. Laya. I still had the headset on and I was like, yeah, I've been practicing. I think some people are talking about the, our little prank already.

Oh, are they tweeting? Yeah. Oh, Barbara, that was very offensive. I'm seriously concerned with the amount of pranks that we've been discussing. Yeah. I'm seriously concerned about the future of these pranks. All right, well, we should probably wrap things up. Yeah.

It's about time to go. Should we? I had a lovely time. Oh. Doing something extra? No. Okay. Oh, the star was post.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, we should talk about the merch. There's the Achieve Wars poster and we have some fun house shirts down here, which are awesome. That's not fun. How short that's fun. That's a full house. And then we have the demo disk and the house fun house shirts down there available in the store as well.

Yes. So check them all out. All right. Well, thanks for watching everyone. Thanks. I'm out of What I'm gonna go ahead and do it. I'm gonna go ahead and do it. I'm gonna go ahead and do it. I'm gonna go ahead and do it. I'm gonna go ahead and do it. I'm gonna go ahead and do it. I'm gonna go ahead and do it. I'm gonna go ahead and do it.

I'm gonna go ahead and do it. I'm gonna go ahead and do it. I'm gonna go ahead and do it. I'm gonna go ahead and do it. I'm gonna go ahead and do it. I'm gonna go ahead and do it. you Describe this show to a newcomer in a more familiar way. Do you like apples? Example. Together in trumpetmpathos,

Trevor Holmes, Trevor Holmes, Alfredo Diaz, I have nothing to do with this podcast. Analyze various unsolved and rooster-teeths cryptic podcasts. F**k face. Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise specific, but short. Listen to show name on Apple Spotify, or wherever you get podcasts.

It's f**k face, a podcast. Subscribe or no. You do yes?