Rooster Teeth Podcast - RT Podcast #323

Episode Date: May 13, 2015

RT Discusses Selfish Selfies Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers will learn that an Anthony Mackie comes a new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-octane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motormouth outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland. If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church. Twisted metal, streaming now now only on peacock Hello everyone welcome to the Ristief podcast hello Hello brought to you by
Starting point is 00:01:00 Boney and com and dollar shave club. How did he get the god Mike again he just did it he got back buddy hey it's been a month it's been since April 7th I think since you were on a podcast April 6th and I have been around but I'm pretty sure I just been gone every Sunday night or Monday night sorry also Sunday because we haven't done Game of Thrones that's your thing like while there's been going on I have not seen a single episode of Game of Thrones in my house because I have been away. I let you brag in so much about seeing the first two episodes
Starting point is 00:01:32 before everyone else. I mean, I'll buy you a buy. Then I got behind on everybody else. I got to sit. I'm so glad that we have passed episode four of the podcast of this season of Game of Thrones because you know they the first four episodes leaked before the season started and yeah using social media was like navigating a minefield of spoilers. Nightmare and I did that's why I even talk about it until we were through those
Starting point is 00:01:57 first four episodes. Nightmare. I didn't see anything. I saw tons of shit. Like directed at you or just okay. Oh yeah. See the next. I like Game of Thrones. Yeah, but you or just, okay. Oh yeah. Because they don't like Game of Thrones. They're in a dick, man. Yeah, but you can't spoil anything. Because the most recent episode had material that was not in the books. And that's what was spoiled.
Starting point is 00:02:11 Yeah, well, stuff that happened in the TV show that hadn't happened in the books. That was different. So if you read the books, you're now at the point where people can ruin it for you. Look at my beautiful, beautiful. They look like triceratops, things from the side. Don't they put their unicorns?
Starting point is 00:02:23 What was the most common said about rats? So Meg said there were rats in those shoes Someone Meg would you say about rats my shoes had rats? There are rats in the box that those shoes came in apparently. Why you wearing them? This is pretty like rat shit But it's why you said germaphobic. I'm sure it's fine. Dermaphobic. Yeah, I don't where fucking rat shoes. Why not? Yeah, germaphobic. That's that's that's not being germaphobic That's basic level cleanliness. That's I don't want to a fucking rat. She's why not? You don't know what a rat. That's not being germophobic. That's basic level cleanliness. I don't want to stick my feet in rat shit. You're wearing socks that you'll wash later.
Starting point is 00:02:50 I don't want this like rat. How filthy are you? Pretty filthy. Jesus. So gross. I have a laundry machine. I feel perfect. The thin layer of sock fabric will protect me from all the disease and grossness of rat shit.
Starting point is 00:03:04 It will. I've never heard her efforts. It was a laundry machine You know what you call a washing machine washing machines. I think I was referring to both like washing and the drying all in one your laundry machines machines So where the rats you did when the box was open unknown. Well, I mean you checked inside They chewed up a Minecraft sword? You checked inside though, right? I'm wearing little slippers on my feet. But there's not poo inside, right? The weird. I'm not eating them.
Starting point is 00:03:30 That's gross, right, Gavin? And it's gross. Yeah, good. You realize pretty much rats and bugs have touched everything that you come across, right? There's poo on everything, too. Yeah. So.
Starting point is 00:03:40 Did you guys talk, I've been going for a while, as we've already covered? Did you guys talk about that they did the study about poo and people's beers? Yeah, and that got tweeted at me like 20,000. Well, then I don't know. None of the one come out that said it was a lot of crap. Yeah So I do was a video that was posted on Reddit just yesterday. It was my ears like crazy today It looks beautiful down judge. It's like poof. It's like I woke up like this a bit. Julie
Starting point is 00:04:04 Yeah, it's what Barbara did compliment me on it She walked up she goes your hair looks nice today. I was like, I thank you Then I see this and it's like no not at all. Well, maybe I just like it a lot more because of my upbringing Are you more into Jewish people? like in terms of appearance or sex having sex for them I mean if I can't like if the ratio it there's definitely less Jewish people to non-Jewish people. Really? Less Jewish people in the world. There are. Yes. Yes. How are you on a global
Starting point is 00:04:36 good looking? I think there's a 14 million Jews left in the world. Now would you say though that post high school, is it called high school in Canada? Or the call like, September school, like lumber grade. Um, they, after that high school period, have you dated more non-Jewish people? Is it pretty much Jewish people before that?
Starting point is 00:04:58 Only, I only dated one Jew. Only one. Only one. Really? Did you date anybody else in high school? More than one person? No, I don't know. My date is home from the ages of 16 to 22. Upt, wow. That's a long time. Only one only one really did anybody else in high school more than one person Up Wow, that's a long time. Yeah, long time good years I don't think I ever met that guy no, which is not as weird as barbers like 16 to 22 But I've known barbers since you was 14 14 really since you were 14 This is how we're just now a're, don't think you're 14.
Starting point is 00:05:26 Go back to thinking it ever is like the 23 year old that she is today. You're welcome by the way. I'm almost 26, but oh, I see what you're doing. I mean, thank you. This was something, I don't know why this occurred to me, but we were just out drinking, they're talking about being drunk or something like that
Starting point is 00:05:40 because I went to a lot of different places last month. There was a lot of different parties and that stuff. And we talked about people getting their drunkest. And for whatever reason, it hit me. I've never seen Barbara drunk. Like I've never seen Barbara completely obliterated. You, Gus, I have definitely seen that way many times. It's Monday, right?
Starting point is 00:05:59 Right. Gavin, I have seen that way and I fucking hate that person. Gavin, that way, like once a week. I have never seen it and I fucking hate that part. Hey Gavin that way like once a week. I have never seen it. What are you doing? You two. Have you guys ever seen Barbara drunk before ever? Um, I feel like I must of at some point.
Starting point is 00:06:14 Yes, I have. Like what kind of drunk is Barbara? She's like a sloppy drunk. I think Barbara is a sloppy drunk who laughs and on stop. So what I am normally. Like amplifying. You just like, you just go way more glass-eyed and like loopy and sort of like. I don't know what that means at all. I have no idea.
Starting point is 00:06:34 I don't know what that means. I feel like I should apologize for some reason. Like you did something. If you're listening to the audio version of the podcast, Gavin just made a really obscene hand gesture. Yeah. Okay, very sort of. So, slurry.
Starting point is 00:06:47 Did you see her drunk? Slurry. No, we just came up with your talk about people with the drunk. It's like I was saying that I hadn't been at my drunkest. I got drunk on the trip. We went to Cannes. I got as drunk on the first night there. That's the drunkest I've been since New Year's the previous year.
Starting point is 00:07:02 I used to go a long time where I don't get really drunk. Even though though we have these fucking dumb stories about me being drunk and merchandise based on me being drunk I really try and what's dealt my favorite? I really get drunk like once a year I That's being generous once a half I think it might be it might be the less than one year half between them So I got pretty drunk at the first night of camp just like you know you're drinking and you get that little voice because It's stop. Yeah, exactly. And you either listen to that voice or you don't listen to that voice, if you don't listen to that voice, that's the last thing you
Starting point is 00:07:30 remember. I want to kill the part of my brain that recognizes the drunkness and immediately thinks, I should get another whiskey. Like, I hate that part of my brain. He's an idiot. I saw you really drunk itself, but it was right after the podcast and we stayed at that venue because we had to like finish our open bar tab. Oh, right. It was like $10,000 worth of drinks. You had to drink. You had to drink.
Starting point is 00:07:52 So how often do you get drunk then? Not often at all. I don't know if I've ever actually been like, blackout drunk. Like hammered. I've never been hammered. I think I've thrown up from being drunk only once. Oh, no, that's worse. I'm like a drunk. I'm like hammered. I've never been hammered. I think I've thrown up from being drunk only once. I don't know that it's worse.
Starting point is 00:08:06 And I think that's because I might have been, something might have been put in my drink. Oh really? I hear that a lot these days, like when somebody gets like super drunk or like I must have been. Because at that night I had two drinks. Right.
Starting point is 00:08:19 And then all of a sudden I just, I just blame myself. I like I must have screwed up somehow that I got that drunk. That's what I was saying. I've never, I've been like drunk past the point where I would have wanted to be a few times in my life But I never like thought that somebody slipped me anything Yeah, I think I believe you I think it happened to me once too I think I've seen it happen. I don't know if it was a roofy, but it was like me
Starting point is 00:08:41 I was that with two other girls and we all took a shot of this thing That was being like on a pest on a tray Yeah, sometimes bars have like those little shots on Trace tubes. Yeah kind of thing and we all did it and then about 10 or 15 minutes later We're all just like I'm really drunk What like what was in that like all three of us kind of had the same effect? Maybe just absent both of them. I don't know. It was the second drink we had that night And we were all just like obliterated for the rest of the evening.
Starting point is 00:09:06 It was great. Yeah. You don't spend a lot of money on drinks that night. Well, we never spend money on drinks. I drank a lot in college. I had two crazy experiences in college like that, where one was my 21st birthday. They took me out. Do you make guys know Baby Al Capucco?
Starting point is 00:09:19 Oh, yeah. It's a margarita place that's disguised as a restaurant in Austin. And we went there. It's a pretty shitty pretty shitty place like when you go to a Mexican restaurant It's like the most people ordered nachos there in their bargaritas So it's like you don't really order nachos at too many text-mix restaurants But I went with my buddies from my 21st birthday and They ordered me a blue margarita so you guys give them two blue margaritas. She's I can't serve them two blue margaritas And my buddy next to me doesn't drink us then I'll have a blue margarita and he you guys give him two blue margaritas. She says, I can't serve him two blue margaritas. And my buddy next to me, he doesn't drink us,
Starting point is 00:09:46 then I'll have a blue margarita. And he like pushes it over to me when he gets it. And she puts a second one in front of me. She knows she's breaking the rule. And I go, what is the story with this blue margarita? Why is it big to deal? She goes, just be careful. I said, why?
Starting point is 00:09:56 She goes, because they're creepers. And I said, what does that mean that they're creepers? She goes, that just means they sneak up on you. And I woke up the next day. Like literally that's the memory in my head. It's like, she said that to me and I said, and then I'm awake in my room. She definitely drug you. Yeah, she already assumed that she did that. But I don't know if people really, back then people didn't really talk about that too much. Like that wasn't a thing. It seems like everyone can get it. Well now thanks to the internet,
Starting point is 00:10:20 anyone can get it. Can you just, can you just do it? I don't want to educate people to be have poor behavior Fuck that. Well, you asking me well Well, what was the drug before Rufi's that you always heard about that was like that? Rohit no, I always think about uh It's like the florist chloroform with the rag. Oh good. Is that actually working from the 1800s? I know right? You like you're like somebody losing gonna extract a tooth in like the old west But does that actually work if you put chloroform on a rag and put it over to his mouth? I think it has to be a lot of chloroform and has to be a long
Starting point is 00:10:45 time i think i also have to cover their nose as well i bet the chloroform is irrelevant and people are just suffocating right and they're breathing like what the other someone's face eventually pops out yeah what is i mean is that all chloroform does just have like another use like does it really is chloroform like boat holes or something it's chloroform like a type of thing or is it like the chemical name for the specific thing well it's chlorine and formite. Formite?
Starting point is 00:11:08 I'm gonna cast it. I'm gonna cast it. I'm gonna cast it. I'm gonna cast it. I'm gonna cast it. I'm gonna cast it. You know a lot. It's a form of chlorine.
Starting point is 00:11:16 Hold on, I'll look at what chloroforms chemical composition is. Oh, we're gonna do the science portion of the podcast early. We got it. We're already in it. Let's say chlorine, fluorine, like fluoramine. I don't know. Chloro-flore-borm. I have no idea.
Starting point is 00:11:29 It is CHCl3, so it's mostly chlorine. And it's carbon, hydrogen, and then three chlorine atoms. Three seals? Yeah. So it's basically, if you probably just soak a rag and chlorine and do it, please, for God's sake, don't do that. This is a really bad example.
Starting point is 00:11:44 We should do an OZL, but we just chloro-ophyll ourselves. See you. No. Or we get a bunch of different rags like this one's soaked in carbon. This one's soaked in hydrogen. We'll just take one and one of them's chlorophyll. So because my dad was a priest, he had me so much later in life than you normally have kids. My dad had me when he was 45 and that made our generation gap enormous, enormous. Like I was like my cousins were like 20 years older than me in my family and I was like the baby of every generation And he had like some of the crazy stories he basically grew up during like World War 2 and They didn't have anesthesia back then they would just give you fucking ether
Starting point is 00:12:22 Would you send them they would just pour into a mask put on your face and sound like a swarm of bees in your head It was like somebody it was like that was one step down from somebody's holding you by the collar and decking you Might have passed that you just get punched by tiny bees instead and I asked him say why did you get ether? He goes oh because my brother got his wisdom teeth out. And I said, so why did you get ether? Because your brother got his wisdom teeth out. I said, because my brother, my oldest brother got his wisdom teeth out. And the doctor said, since I'm here, do you want me to take out all the kids wisdom teeth? So all the kids in my dad's family had to get their wisdom teeth pulled out.
Starting point is 00:13:00 Because their oldest brother had to get his pulled out. And it was cheaper to do it that way It's like it's like going to Costco like you know bulk discount. Yeah, that's the way to do it I guess the dentist was doing a house call How man would you be your brother? It's not the worst part about having siblings It's having to do what they're doing. I just follow their footsteps. It's not even hand me down It's like hand me down surgery almost. Hand me across. Yeah more like I would I would murder my brother if I had to get my Dental work done get TT
Starting point is 00:13:25 I got to keep you wisdom teeth. Yes, you asked your daughter cheap. She did not ask for them She thought about it the next day and she I think she regretted not having asked for them Why would you keep them? Why not you're connected that close up. Why would anybody else get to keep you don't want someone else to take your power? You know I find that I found that saying it was staring at me. It's creepy Gosh has no wisdom to you that I was born without them explains a lot I found I'm more evolved of a higher higher level of human being than you savages. I found out some disgusting today We find out about C-sections
Starting point is 00:14:00 Take a drink let me take a drink Wait Is it how they how they actually do it? No, I'm trying to figure out if I start the same thing as you did. I was just like in my head. I just thought, you know, there's a baby just like looking at you and they're like, there's the baby out and then, so it back up. But there's like a bunch of stuff in the way of the baby. They got like pull all your intestines out and stuff.
Starting point is 00:14:21 You know, they put it in a bowl. Yeah, they just like scoop out the intestines Yeah, I'm gonna block Brock me this just to be safe if you want to sit that over there I'm in a ball and then get the baby out and then Where did you hear about that cuz I just heard about that this weekend too on that like Guy-pain video Yes, but the let's you know when they're doing the abortion feels abortion not abortion Labor contraction When they're doing the abortion feels abortion not abortion Labor labor contraction. That would be the worst. Don't have been the worst mother's day video ever probably
Starting point is 00:14:49 But it was in a mother's day conversation that you had was that what it was? No, it was just a video of these of these guys. Yeah, that was for mother's day. I was it yeah Mother's Come on guys motherhood Can't get the mother's day video thing you all looked at me like I was bizarre Connecting thoughts. Why would they put it? I just don't know I keep forgetting it's not mother's day for me, so all looked at me like I was bizarre. Connect the dots. Why would they put it in a video? I just don't know. I keep forgetting. It's not Mother's Day for me. So I don't know. It's not? No, it isn't much.
Starting point is 00:15:09 It's in March, huh? He's jet-locked. What's the equivalent of Thanksgiving in the UK? Is it the day you got rid of all the religious fanatics and put them on a boat and send them across the ocean? That had to be a really cool day, right? Yeah. They got rid of all their prisoners and all the religious fanatics in one go.
Starting point is 00:15:24 Pretty much. There you go. Within the same 50-year 50 year period. I have a punch ever so often That way it looks at Man, this is it we've touched every sensitive topic the other time I got super drunk in college Which was a crazy experience was we were making a punch in a trash can And it was like we were just dumping in packs of cool aid, and it had the liner in it and everything. But this was a designated trash can.
Starting point is 00:15:49 Was it a garbage bag liner? It was, it was. Yeah, it was garbage. It was. We've done the same thing. And we were dumping all this stuff. And then we had this booze called Volkov. This vodka called Volkov.
Starting point is 00:16:01 It had like the German like eagle, like the, you know, the steel eagle on it where we'd call that crest. Steego. And I actually had a video camera and I was like pointed people in the I said here to my buddy Scott I said here take take a shot with me and hand them one of the bottles who just taking the caps off the bottle dump them in to the trash can he goes okay it cracks is and then I have my camera there and I cracked mine I hold it up and got cheers and I take a swing a swing, he takes a swing, and he stops, he looks at us, he goes, this isn't vodka, this is green alcohol. And it's like, just as my body goes up,
Starting point is 00:16:30 and I take two huge swigs of green alcohol, which is like 195 proof. Yeah, it's like, it's strong. Yeah, it was like, what'd he do with that? What's it for? It sucked all the moisture out of my mouth. Like, it's like, it's weird to drink something and all of a sudden It's just dry in your mouth and then I swallowed it and I
Starting point is 00:16:51 And then I took two full swallows of it and I'm standing there go. I'm wasted I'm seeing your drug right now and it just hasn't hit me yet, but I am completely drunk Sure enough within about five or six minutes. Yeah gone. I was completely gone. I can't imagine. Actually, you'll pull a buddy. Like, your blood's just going around your body. It's just like normal. And then all of a sudden, all this booze comes straight. It's like, oh, it's like a title wave.
Starting point is 00:17:11 It's like, what? As he dropped his stuff. That's what I need to get drunk. It's like a meteor hit. I saw Nico do something very similar once at an event we were at. He's French by the way. Where we had a bottle of liquor. He thought it was a bottle of vodka.
Starting point is 00:17:24 Man, it's all the drink and port and poured a ton of ever clear into it Ever and I thought Surely Nico knows what that is. I don't need a I don't need a baby him and then he you know made his drink very strong Took a huge squeak of it was like whoa. What is that? I was like that's ever clear. He goes what's ever clear? I said you Man you are in big trouble How are you supposed to actually drink ever clear like what do you do really? Do you really do it? Okay, you don't know where he will explain it to the corner
Starting point is 00:17:50 They show up to pick you up. Yeah, just make it really weak if anybody could handle that though. It's Nico Yeah, he held it together for a bit For collapsing then he continued to finish that drink my thing ever was the off-brand version of besides Volkov The off-brand version of ever clear called diesel brand version of besides Volkov, the off brand version of ever clear called Diesel. And it was just a picture on the label was a Mack truck like coming right at you. That's all it was.
Starting point is 00:18:10 It was very appropriate, I thought, for the label of Diesel. Do you guys ever drink Absent? I've drank Absent before, but it has that liquorice flavor. I hate liquorice so I'm like Absent. I'm not a big fan. It's basically drinking Nike wool. Or Yeager, much.
Starting point is 00:18:23 I'm not strong with that. Gross. You know what I'm know, I'll say who loves absence Young lady by the name of Ashley Jenkins. Yeah, really yeah, we uh, well, she took me to an absent salon one time Where you had like melt show you. It's called a salon. We had to make a reservation everything They gave this fucking apparatus get your highlights done after we did drain it. We got our toes done We got a mani Petty. Oh, yeah. We had to drain the absolute over this sugar cube Everything you lie on fire. I know we delivered on fire, but we had to get like cloudier. I like tiny procedure Seems so anti you
Starting point is 00:18:56 It's funny. I feel like you can't be bothered with that. It's fun cuz it's small What there's something wait wait wait is that what makes us about you? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, doctors, get a scientist, I'm not sure what they are, some guys. Some guys. They built robots that could use surgery and they sewed a grape back together. This is great. A grape. Like they took the skin off the grape and then I had to do a stitch up on it. They peeled a grape and then put it back on. I actually didn't watch the video but I saw it linked everyone. If there's a robot that can put toothpaste back in the tube, then I'll be impressed.
Starting point is 00:19:40 I'm sure that's a robot that puts the toothpaste in the begin with. Yeah, but they sewed up at the end, don't they? This is like, I hope that's a robot that puts the two things in the begin with yeah, but this They like sew it up to the end. I this is like I hope that robot that does that one of its not I'm dude oh Look at this. Well, this is them taking off the skin for a tiny scissors Gavin is so immune Gavin is so happy oh Watching a video of these I could watch this arms all day Sacking a section of grape skin off Gus Gus how long would it be before you would have Surgery from a robot like totally autonomous. I would sooner I
Starting point is 00:20:14 Would hope that we were driving in driverless cars and robotic cars for a long time before we get away It's actually just it looks gross. Oh, it's like I'm looking at someone that's not a grape It's like you're looking at a surgery, right? Just think of it as a great. It's so cool. You ever do that when you eat grapes Do you ever like bite it in a certain way to just like try to eat the skin? You know that I've done that before it almost is like a joke to you They got the light set up in the blue like you know, what do they call that the blue that tarp? That's a surgery napkin.. Surgery napkin with window.
Starting point is 00:20:46 Let that robot operate on me. Yeah, I feel more comfortable with the robot doing it than a human. Right now, still. Maybe in like five years. The coquickly the story changes. Well, also how much damage can it really do with those types of things?
Starting point is 00:20:59 It could kill you. With tiny little scissors. I think you think it could also kill you. Yes, but humans have been doing a lot longer. I trust humans a lot more. I don't think they're straight for your jugular. But it would work. Jerry here with the NHL goalie who got his jugular sliced by a skate.
Starting point is 00:21:14 There's actually quite a few hockey players ahead injuries like that. How does that happen to you like fall and like hook them? Well, yeah, I guess he tripped over. I don't remember exactly what happened, but I think he tripped over another player and his foot just kind of flew up and then you know, your mask only goes still here. his foot just kind of flew up and then you know Your mask only goes still here. So it just kind of cut him right there. No, I'm my man. Don't play hockey So my mask doesn't know I would go knowing this is just the blood just like freeze instantly and like
Starting point is 00:21:50 Become hard like blood ice cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold You can see the footage is in any shell game. Yeah blood just shoots But that he was saved because the trainer for the team was a former army medic. Yeah, and like You ready to shove a bunch of dumb powder now He reached into his neck hole and pinched the jugular vein close and held it held it while they waited for the EMS show up. That's the only reason the guy lived what a hero to do that is amazing Do you imagine how scarred you would be if you were at that hockey game? There's more kids at hockey games Seeing that as a kid. Can you imagine being the goalie me like? I know what it's like to have someone reaching on my neck and pinch my fucking jugular shot It's bad. I think I see them black Hawk down on that's what he's doing
Starting point is 00:22:17 He's trying to did you ever watch black Hawk down? Yeah, we're trying to pinch that leg You have a huge artery that runs through your leg. Oh, it's just Yeah, it's tough. That's tough. But you talk about traumatized kids. Actually, and I, she came over to see me, because I had a presentation that I had to do this big, like, global conference for television, where we basically introduced to other markets to shows that we have that are, that sounds fancy. It was very fancy. And it was in Can France, C-A-N-N-E-S France, which is in the French Riviera. It's like just west of Monaco It's where they hold the can film festival. You buy like a pamphlet there or something. What's that? No, we actually went we drove so I run a car. We like drove I figured if I'm flying all the way over there for like three days of
Starting point is 00:22:57 Presentations I'll just stick around for the five days. Yeah, why not? We drove over to Italy We drove over to what Americans called Genoa, Italy, but everybody else calls Genova. It's on the, like, Northwest coast of Italy. And, uh, Lovers, Salami. Yeah, exactly. Genoa, Salami. You're the only person who made that connection besides me. That you know about food that you know, us along these there. But, um, when we showed up, I booked the hotel before we showed up this place. And we get to the front desk, nice hotel, and they go, okay, your room's already, and here's your tickets to the aquarium. And I was like, what are these for? They said, you booked a package with the aquarium.
Starting point is 00:23:30 I said, I absolutely did not. Why would I do that? And they said, well, you have two tickets to the aquarium. And I was like, that's okay, I don't want. They were like, take the tickets. I was like, okay, I will take the tickets to the aquarium. So, Ashley and I, the next day, sure enough, we go to the fucking aquarium and we had a blast
Starting point is 00:23:45 It was absolutely a lot of fun, but Gus I wish you'd been there Because we went to the dolphin tank and they had all the plaques of all the dolphins that are in the tank and there were Seven lady dolphins and there's one dude dolphin. I was like, hey it's getting all the ladies Then we look up in the tank. No, I guess he's tired of ladies Here's the one male dolphin in the entire tank. He's swinging around on his back trying to fuck a booey Like little flippers. He's got him or is it just like on his stomach? No, he's like trying to like And it was like the best way to describe it. It's those things like they throw over the side of a boat So you don't bang into other boats
Starting point is 00:24:24 Okay, it's like it's like it kind of look like a big version of a boat so you don't bang into other boats. Okay. It's like, it kind of look like a big version of a thing you throw for a dog to train to catch birds and stuff. It's like it's a tube, but then it had a place where a rope was supposed to be tied to go on the side of the boat. And that's when he was trying to get you to pull where the rope goes.
Starting point is 00:24:40 He was trying to get his rope in there. And one thing I learned immediately, Dolphin penis is very agile. Like it was searching for the hole. Oh god, I know. So it was like a rope. Actually, it was a little too fast-nated by this. Do you think ropes move on their own?
Starting point is 00:24:54 I mean, this thing was like pecking around and looking, and it's like the entire line along the glass, all school kids just watching this whole thing. I didn't know it was just happening. Was it just filling up with com? And what's that? No, we need sticker off of the grand finale I would have been just horrible Through for rope to go through so I don't imagine it would yeah Just hit them in the face. Oh, no, yeah, so that was the worst part. It was like a piece of plastic
Starting point is 00:25:20 It was mainly like an inch thick with a whole through it So you got to see the whole thing going through like you got to see The one side and the other like a cutaway diagram. It was terrible It was awful have you we couldn't watch from we're like 15 years film it and we had to leave no I never thought Ashley Did you film the dolphin bang in that life preserve? Too busy laughing did you ever see that and taking notes? I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
Starting point is 00:25:47 I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
Starting point is 00:25:55 I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
Starting point is 00:26:03 I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Doesn't have any they do with its front paws so like it stands kind of awkwardly and it realizes it can reach its own dick Wow, it starts kind of like jacking itself on it's still on it's back two legs never seen that it's oh my god I don't know this is this is it so are these two guy dogs. I don't know I don't know the real I do between these two dogs. How did you all find it so fast? Yeah? That was extremely fast and then he realizes he doesn't eat the other dog The other dog comes back like I love that that was my job just then like a Payton what's a dog jack-o? I like that video exists and there's still people in the world that don't believe in evolution he's learning something and he's not going back this is way easier there are people on the ground in this studio
Starting point is 00:26:59 we'll put that in the link dump if you're not must feel really bad though what you do with dog hands I guess dog. Have you a pause those claws? You can't retract them as rough pads They just use like the inside of the must have been red raw Rocket Yeah, um, it's always Yeah, watching watching YouTube videos of animals trying to figure stuff out is I got a safe looks totally like you know, they're not designed for it to figure stuff out is a. I got to say he looks totally like you know they're not designed for it, but it looks so
Starting point is 00:27:25 satisfying when you see those goats with a big long curve torrents when they can hook them back and they itch their own butt. Yeah, that just looked like the most satisfying thing ever like the one long horn goat whatever the fuck. I bet. I bet. Yeah. Which everyone figured out first was like, I got it.
Starting point is 00:27:40 Tell people. I'm going to amazing keep it. Yeah, those horns seem ridiculously long. Like it seems like they would be a hindrance to evolution. Like it would get caught in a tree. What's a hindrance? What's wrong with you? He loves to go after people from mispronouncing.
Starting point is 00:27:55 It would, you don't want to fucking spread out to everything. I spent a week with Gavin and Daniel and George. What does it go? It goes to be like Baker and like make fun of each other constantly. Yeah, banter. What's banter. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close.
Starting point is 00:28:08 It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close.
Starting point is 00:28:16 It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close.
Starting point is 00:28:24 It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn. It doesn't close. It doesn't It doesn. It doesn't close. It doesn't close. It doesn't It doesn It doesn't It doesn Audible.com is a leading provider of audiobooks with more than 150,000 downloadable titles across all types of literature including fiction, nonfiction and periodicals. Audio books are great to listen to when you're driving, stuck in traffic, on the subway or bus, doing chores around the house, at the gym, doing errands, whatever you're doing. So for audience members, Audible is offering a free audiobook to give you a chance to try out their service. One audiobook to consider is Snowcrash by Neil Stevenson. Download this audiobook for free or another one of your choice, go to audible.com slash rooster teeth. That's audible.com slash rooster teeth. I'm actually really
Starting point is 00:28:51 listening to Snowcrash right now. I don't think I've read that book since I was in high school maybe. And it's funny to go back and listen to it. And, you know, I think I came on the early 90s and to listen to the predictions that the author made about the way the internet would work. So at the time the book was written, the internet was still, like the web didn't exist. The internet was still a very loosely based series of computers.
Starting point is 00:29:17 No, it was still like futurist technology at that point. Right, and then to see the line that the author drew out, and we didn't get there of course. He envisioned like a full 3D rendering to put goggles on a shit like that. But it's but he had some of the ideas were right, you know, hypercards and exchange information and it was it's it's it's really really interesting. It's not there. I thought Ender's Game got a lot of that stuff right too. Ender's Game was pretty good. Where's the Ender's Game Unallable? It is. I listened to Ender's Game Unallable last year. I was right before the movie came out. Did they
Starting point is 00:29:44 redo the audiobooks when they have like a cast movie for it. Sometimes they do. Yeah, I don't know that I think the and sometimes you have multiple choices like with snow crash. I know there were two different Narrators and I had to pick between them. Did you see that Grace Helbig is coming out with another book another book Well her first book hit number one on the New York Times bestseller list like a few times She's not coming out. She should absolutely do that. And then I just didn't just came out with a book, Memory Heart. Web books are a big deal. We've been approached to do a book like a couple different times, you know, but it's
Starting point is 00:30:12 just like, don't have time to write a book, you know. Just go on the internet. We did the RVV book and that thing is like its own whole project. Can we just copy and paste some Wikipedia and say that to both? That's, yeah, I would love to do it. I read Grace's first book and Harto's book. Those are all great. I have read my memories book. Is that out yet? I think it is still available for pre-order Felicia Day has a book coming out Gabb was in the beacon program where they put him up on billboards everywhere
Starting point is 00:30:35 He was in that thing with Zoella from the UK. She put out a book right after that campaign She beat JK Rowling's one-week sales record in the in the UK. That's insane, dude. That's ridiculous. This is where we are with media now. So there are books. You know, there's two things I want to talk about real quick. Go back to the can thing. Like what you just said about like seeing where things were going.
Starting point is 00:30:55 I had this really like very straightforward conversation with the interviewer there with somebody who was like covering us for the, I think, Guardian. And we were talking about like they were like, well, you guys got started way before everyone else online. You guys were doing an online video in 2003. How'd you get going with that? And I talked about, you guys, you remember this really well
Starting point is 00:31:12 when the internet kind of came out of nowhere. Like it always kind of existed. And like people always thought this thing would come around. But they always like, you always base your future technology in whatever technology you use today. Because you can't envision the next step That's why like in the 50s everything looks like a new way to get the newspaper or in the 80s everything is like Remember how big video phones were video phone was the one I was gonna say video phone
Starting point is 00:31:33 Everyone thought everything was gonna be a video phone video phone was like the most futurist technology But now when you have a video phone that I would never use that in a thousand years if I if I use it I'm like fuck what's the business now, isn't it? I did something wrong. Yeah, we have video conferencing. FaceTime, isn't it? Yeah, but it's like, I haven't ever used the video function. I use FaceTime all the time.
Starting point is 00:31:52 I use FaceTime at least once or twice a week. No, there you go, never mind. We're stupid. Well, it was all based on that. So we were talking about, though, she was asking me about, like, how do we get started? How do we know that things were going to go this direction? I was like, well, the way it basically worked is the internet
Starting point is 00:32:08 started. And the moment the internet started, everybody got an email address. The moment everyone got an email address, nobody wrote another postcard. Nobody mailed another letter. Everyone, that all that stuff moved online. And then once data size has got a little bit bigger,
Starting point is 00:32:22 and bandwidth got a little bit bigger, the next thing that went online was all the print stuff books news articles everything went online and the print industry died Then you fast forward a couple years File sizes get a little bit bigger again. It was all the audio and everything that happened with the music industry happened with naps turn All that stuff so I was like when we got started by that point. I was like very clear to me You know file sizes get a little bit bigger the next thing thing that's going to go online and going to change everything is TV and film. It's going to be all video images. And I was actually, I don't know what you guys, I'm actually surprised it took this long.
Starting point is 00:32:53 Like we're now at 2015 and finally all this like game of thrones is online and everything else is online. You know, it's like sometimes it's amazing. It took this long to take place. I think a lot of times big media companies drag their feet on making that ship. Because there's a lot of money. It's a lot of investment to move your broadcast to a new medium.
Starting point is 00:33:10 But the music industry dragged a drag to drag their feet and it didn't work out very well for them. Yeah, I think maybe they all saw the riding on the wall with how poorly that worked out for them. Yeah, but it's crazy. Because it's like, Steve Jobs always said, it's always easy to connect the dots going backwards. But man, if you can like figure out like something
Starting point is 00:33:23 like just the next chain. So it's like, so make a figure out like something like just the next chain, so it's like, so make a figure out like, what's next, you know, that's gonna go online after video, like what's the next big thing that'll do it? It's like, start, whatever that is, start working on it today. 3D printing.
Starting point is 00:33:33 Yeah, printing a flash. Printing a flash, printing a car at home. But I had a crazy thing, I thought of you as soon as I had this conversation, Gus. I was in my car and I got a phone call and it was from like Las Vegas, Nevada, I'm like, I don't know anybody in fucking Las Vegas. So I'll fucking answer it. So
Starting point is 00:33:49 I answered my phone. There's a pause, like two or three second pause after I said hello. And then the woman comes on and she goes, she goes, hello, she goes, is this Bernie Burns? And I said, yes, it is. And I immediately knew I was talking to a telemarketer because I know that pause means the calls be connected. Yeah, so what they do is it's a robot dials you and then with so many answers then they connect you to an operator and then they push you like to go. They don't have to wait for you to pick up. That's exactly right.
Starting point is 00:34:15 They push you to do like something that's called a whisper. They come through like that and that's how the operators get that stuff. Nobody's sitting there dialing. This means what is hanging up during that pause. Yeah, you should. Just hanging up when you hear that pause. But she says, hello, this is Bernie Burns. I go, yes it is.
Starting point is 00:34:27 She goes, she goes, oh, hello, I'm calling today. This is exactly how she sounded. I'm calling today to talk to you about your vehicle, which may be eligible for a new extended warranty. And I was like, oh, God, I said, is this a computer? And she goes, oh, do I sound that bad today? And I was like, oh, shit. I said, there must have been so insulting.
Starting point is 00:34:47 I said, I just did what I used to run call centers. So I'm used to voice response systems and I go, and your initial hello, I just, and then when you said it, anyway, I apologize. Yeah, and that influx is also very robotic. Yeah, it was. So the way exactly the way she was talking, it was like little pauses of the didn't sound exactly right. And just she laughed and she goes, she goes goes because okay well the reason i'm calling is
Starting point is 00:35:07 uh... about the extended warranty on a vehicle your you might be qualified for an extended warranty i said i know you're calling about i get calls about this thing all the time it's my truck i said i'm in the process selling my truck so i don't want an extended war on the country's i'm sorry you don't qualify
Starting point is 00:35:23 and i go are you a computer and she goes what'm sorry you don't qualify and I go are you a computer and she goes what makes you say that I go you're not saying no she goes I guess I'm not I was like can you just answer the question are you a human or are you a computer and she goes I'm sorry you don't qualify thank you and hang up oh my god you don't even know I don't know I don't know if I talk to a computer or not She definitely that's a computer. It was a computer. It had to be a computer Do you know that what's it called that?
Starting point is 00:35:51 Her response was do I sound that bad today? She didn't say no right? So it had that built in and it's just small Robot well, you know that website I forget what it was called where you could actually talk to it And it was like a human responding, but it was actually just a robot clever bot clever bot Yeah, clever. That's basically the human equivalent of it, but it was a voice one. Yeah, I mean it like totally It I have never had something where I didn't know what I was talking to they call that And she made me double check myself that that's referred to as a touring test where if you're Yeah, if you're having a
Starting point is 00:36:23 Communication with someone like I say clever bot and if you can't tell if it's a person or if it's a machine Like then it passes the Turing test which is like a test to determine our Fish on I thought I was done. I thought about I thought this like blade runner I'm like you're walking through a desert and there's a turtle Do you turn it over because that's the whole thing in blade run there trying to figure out the exact scenario? How do you fucking remember that fucking love blade runner? Who doesn't like I don't like runner two But I wouldn't like when you say I remember that yeah, but there's no way if you'd ask me what it was I would remember that guy's great actor wait so aggravated. Why did she even she even cool you if you didn't qualify
Starting point is 00:36:57 Because no when I said this way so I'm selling my truck Oh, so I'm not even gonna have that vehicle anymore because she was I'm sorry you don't qualify And I was like and that's something I can, wait a minute, are you a computer? It's what makes you say that. And I said, you're not saying no. It was like she was literally avoiding the question. Is that your computer or a woman
Starting point is 00:37:15 who just loves trolling people? It could possibly be that far, it's totally possible. Which is like, if I was a telemarker, I would totally do that. I don't know, but we're at a point now with technology where it could have been, I felt like it was a computer. I would have stayed on the line, hoping that she would eventually do that. I don't know but we're in a point now with technology where it could have been I felt like it was a computer. I would have stayed on the line hoping that she would eventually repeat herself. No, she hung up Yeah, she disconnected. Yeah, you got hung up on my robot. I know or you should tell the other story I apologize. You apologize to a robot for being rude tell how I'm sorry you fucking metal hunk of junk
Starting point is 00:37:43 Tell the story about how technology made us stupid in New York. Oh, I feel like I'm telling a lot of stories in real here I've been going for a while. You're gone for a while. I got a lot of stories about fucking so I went out to I went out to New York The first part of my trip to New York. I was out there from like Tuesday to Friday morning and I was there to support Gavin and Dan and be part of this like, you can talk about this before? No. YouTube did a really cool thing where they invited like their top 100 channels out to New York. And we had like a summit. So it was like everybody was there. Tyler Oakley, Grace Helbig, Hannah Hart.
Starting point is 00:38:17 You know, we did a big old. So a bunch of vloggers, Tom Scott, I finally got to be Tom Scott. Tom Scott's our player was there. Love that guy. And we're all like in one room and all had lunch together like this huge like summit like Harley from epic meal time Like if you can picture it probably they were there like Freddy one wasn't there because he was obligated to a hulu thing I didn't see to to be turned it there anyway much people were there enough said Gavin and Dan were one of those groups and Gavin Dad had a specific job that they had to do where they selected four of those hundred people to have fan meetups in this
Starting point is 00:38:44 Massive big fan meetups in this massive big fan meetup. And the slow-mo guys was one of them. And it was Tyler Oakley as well, the dude perfect guys. And then I'm not familiar with her. I apologize, but super woman. Is that was at the super woman? Yeah. I'm probably not in her target audience. Not after you know. I only know her name. 40-year-old dudes. You know, maybe she is. I don't know. So I was just trying to make things easier on Gavin Dan. So I was like, they had assigned these shirts, they may have silver sharpies. We've all been to conventions. We know that one of the
Starting point is 00:39:11 most precious resources in the world is fucking silver sharpies. Because signing black on a black shirt is a no no. Yeah, it doesn't work. And we have a lot of black shirts. Yeah. Yeah. So we had to find silver sharpies in downtown Manhattan. And we walked 18 blocks. How far do we walk? Well we went to a we went to a CVS didn't have them. We went to a different pharmacy didn't have them. How do every other color shop you accept silver? So then we had to go way far to a staples. We probably walked like 18, 20 blocks. Yeah. Silver is a hard color to find. Yeah. It's a reason. Yeah. They're a precious resource man. And when you redo, this is what we did.
Starting point is 00:39:46 We finally got to its staples plug. And we went, no, it wasn't plugged by the way. It was just a lot of fun. We went downstairs, where, you know, because the man had all the stores related, so weird, because they're in these super old buildings. And I found the package over sharpies, Gav grabbed one as well, and then Dan decided to grab like ones
Starting point is 00:40:04 with a copper, like a multi-pack as well and then Dan decided to grab like ones with a copper like a multi pack as well Which becomes important because we got stairs we all throw them on the counter and then I see it have apple pay at the The counter so I'm gonna press Dan and Gav and I'm like check this out beep and I was like oh I've never seen apple pay used before and I go here it is that's when we thumbprint I hit the thumbprint like wow That's like that's dumb and because you printed a receipt and gave it to you to sign I was like you stuff to sign with apple bells the point of the thumb print
Starting point is 00:40:29 That's and then they're like I felt so good about myself because they were so impressed by it Then I have to sign for and Gavin Dan like I Think no it doesn't like guess it does I was like fuck you guys and then so we so we get everything we go we leave But we'll walk back in my pocket. We walked 18 blocks back to the hotel and I'm like feeling all you know like fuck you guys and this thing so we get in the fucking lobby and I say to Danny Gav I said just sign your shirts and then we'll go to the event and we'll do that
Starting point is 00:40:57 I was in a different block of the hotel so I left both of you because you're in the same block And I was in a different one so I'm gonna have a shower See you later and I said so of you because you're in the same block and I was in a different one. So I was like, I'm gonna have a shower. See you later. And I said, so just, you know, get signed the shirts and Dan goes, okay, I need the pens. And I go, well, I don't have, Gav has the pens. And he goes, okay. So Dan goes up to where Gav is and goes in the hotel and he goes to Gav, he goes, I need the pens.
Starting point is 00:41:20 I don't know the fucking pens. We were arguing about Apple Pay. We just left our pens on the the fucking counter 20 blocks away and what I do I don't walk all Only You have to do it. What no, I mean I was one of the idiots that left it to you. Yeah, you don't need them fuck those guys I I refused to believe that you didn't have the pens like why wouldn't you have the pens you paid for them? But when you have the pens you needed them It's cuz we all had it we all had an individual pack of pens
Starting point is 00:41:47 So it wasn't like on one person the problem was all the way back and none of us noticed that we need The best part of story please tell me you needed the signed receipt to show them to prove you had bought all that stuff That would have been great. I would have was I walked into staples the guy looks up and goes here go man I assume none of you had bags on you. Maybe you had like a shoulder bag No, or nothing. So nobody noticed that no one's carrying a plastic bag It wasn't big of idiots. It wasn't like we were strolling up to the hotel and then realized like we were back and it's like Any of these things I went all the way up and out of shower They went to that individual rooms.
Starting point is 00:42:26 And we still didn't notice that no one at the park. Also, Barbara, I get it. We're not it's why we went out. It wasn't like on our way somewhere. We went out to do it. Yeah. We could have gone to time. It was out of your way. It was like a quest.
Starting point is 00:42:36 You had multiple stops on the way. Do you know how to do this? That's what we left to do. I think he followed back. And then he takes me said you would like walk about to staple is laughing. Stop because it's a street. The context each other he came all the way back. And then he takes me, said, you would walk about to staples, laughing, laughing at the screen. He couldn't text each other, because you're all laughing so hard. But like, we all realize we just let the pins sitting there on the desk. Oh, God. What do you call that? I'd be like, like, going up my own Everest, like getting like 30 feet of the top gun. That's it. That's it. That's I can see it here. Like doing
Starting point is 00:43:00 999 push-ups. I read, I read that. He exactly I know a trainer that I follow 999 people. Yeah, I read you you'd like the the trainer that Michael and I see because he he doesn't do even numbers of stuff like he'll do 49 push ups or a 99 something just to make you want to do one. No, because if I do 50 or 100, I'm just I'm not an asshole. It's like you know Do you want to do one? No, because if I do 50 or 100, I'm just I'm not an asshole. It's like you know It's like I'm do that. It's like that's what everybody does So he stopped one short. He might help me the best. Yeah, it sounds like he's a great trainer them Like one more
Starting point is 00:43:41 You're fine. You're most of the you're most of the workout you round up. Yeah, you're there That extra one you'd be so much bulkier. Yeah, exactly right You know you'd have it all unlock It's nice to meet people that you see online. It was weird. I fun with a fan event too like just getting ever messy I got covered in paint and silly string Well, it was a say you so you had like this little area set up where they did like some kind of it wasn't like phantom level high speed photography It was like yeah 40 frames a second or something And people you were like springi string and shit at each other. You should explain why that is now.
Starting point is 00:44:10 Just to hang out with fans. No, why they do less than your normal slow-mo. Oh, because it would take damn forever to play it back. Yeah, it would take like 20 minutes per person to process all that footage. Yeah. And so it was weird watching that slow motion footage of you doing something with Pete with other people and it wasn't on the slow-mo guys channel It was like on that other YouTube slow motion channel thing. So I had like a lot of cash to yeah That was a tape of money was just making it right this one did I try to find a clip
Starting point is 00:44:35 But he went with two silly strings just straight into both of my eyes My eyes are just getting loaded with silly string and I never use silly string before but it's like aerosol It's like it's really like it stings your eyes a lot So I was like pulling this Clubs of silly You ever see any of those awful videos where people don't realize that that stuff's flammable. Oh, God And like there'll be someone that going to blow out a birthday cake candles and then people blow silly string at them And it becomes like a flame thrower. That's awesome. I made them test it What do you mean? I told you that I made them test it. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:45:05 I told you that. I made them test that the silly string before they would use it for the day. I was like, I just like, I've seen too many videos with people catch on fire from the stuff. Can you just like go put it next to a flame and make sure it doesn't. I'm sure my face was completely found
Starting point is 00:45:16 probable by the end of the day. Your face is always flammable. What? Cause it's skin. Oh, fair point. You got fucking served. And you have hair on it. Flammable? Was that great Mitch Hedberg line?
Starting point is 00:45:27 If you're alive and flammable you are never blocking a fire exit or like. I can't block a fire. You're a fire hazard by scanning here. I'm not going to just stand here. There's a fire. I'm alive and flammable. I'm never a blocking a fire exit. I'm just the first one out.
Starting point is 00:45:43 No, that's a really good point. Yeah, there's fire freaks me out. I'm just the first one out. No, that's a really good point Yeah, there's fire freaks right there fire in electricity Freak me out. Ah, I'm saying page. Yeah fire Trissies too fast. Did you see the footage of the guy in Russia who lights himself on fire and jumps off an eight story building? What did Patrick? Video food on that if you can does he's through fire? You don't be in Russia fucking they've lost they've lost And he just jumps off of an eight-story building into the north into snow That he piled up. I'm not kidding. Did he live though? Yeah, they they have one view of him on top with his buddies
Starting point is 00:46:18 They let him on fire and he goes like oh and then he jumps and they have one from his GoPro view when he lands He just makes all those noises that like so many makes when they just like have no air left anywhere in the body. He's like going, ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg and he can find the guy that fell off the building or jumped off the building. I think I find Horny Odie the wonder dog immediately. I know right that one they had already that was in the toolbar that a bookmark for that. I was talking earlier kind of started to tell the story I saw a video on Reddit yesterday of a cat that was on the outside of a building. Yeah, yeah, and it was like on the like a guy's on the roof of a skyscraper he leans over the edge and there's a cat just like on the outside of the building and
Starting point is 00:47:07 then the cat adjusts a grip and falls. Oh, and he watches it. I don't know if this camera man is because he doesn't react in any way. The cat falls like eight stories lands and then immediately another cat runs and tries to attack it. It runs away. Yeah, but like literally you watch a cat fall like. I was a little bit more like a story story, it's got eight lives left after that Yeah, you saw a cat fall in the sun Oh, this is the same Yeah, okay, this is one angle
Starting point is 00:47:29 There's actually one from above them too So you can see how many windows there are We fall Lunatic Wow, on fire What are you doing? And he piled the snow up himself Oh, oh my god
Starting point is 00:47:40 He knows piled the snow That's nothing Oh, I had a much bigger pile. Yeah, I know shit. Look, he looks great. And there's like three or four, and all these people watching. I know. You said you wouldn't watch that.
Starting point is 00:47:54 I know, it's the hell out of me. I don't want someone to die. Why wasn't the pile of snow bigger if there's that many people fucking standing around? Picking him out. In the related videos for this patch, there's probably a a different angle on it too like the one from the top. Wow. And then there's one from his point of view because he has a GoPro on his head. There's really buried in there. Yeah I think that was cool. Gravity helped him with that. Yeah. Do you think the the fire melted a lot of that snow
Starting point is 00:48:16 when you fell in? Just like buried him deeper. Probably not. It probably takes a little while. What if he landed in the heat just went like like a cartoon like he just leaves like the outline of a person. Yeah, it's like that video Have you seen the what those things called the really hard like ball can? Oh, is it? Oh this is GoPro footage Nope, nope He's lucky I've seen the what little balls what there's like
Starting point is 00:48:43 That's a great angle. I've seen the what? Little balls? Well, there's like gobs, stuffables thing. Like a really hard like ball candy things. Yeah, you got it, job-breakers. Jaw-breakers. Yeah. There's a guy like superheats a metal ball and just like puts it in and it like slows it.
Starting point is 00:48:55 It's really satisfying to me. He takes a nickel, a ball of nickel. Yeah, superheats and puts it on different items. And it's like melted so much. It's like bubbling and spitting everywhere. There's also a video someone who put Melted something into a watermelon. What was it? I don't know if it was if you It's like melted steel or some aluminum into a watermelon into a watermelon
Starting point is 00:49:16 Yeah, I'm gonna like I'm gonna put a butter to came through and it had melted all the seeds and when he pulled it out It was like this really cool branch effect What's that? An hills as we say you ever seen the one where they do ant hills? It looks similar to that. And you could pull out the whole thing. It's like, whoa. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:30 It looks like an art installation. You would see that hanging from a ceiling at a fancy restaurant. Yeah. And but Millie's advance died for it. I felt really bad for my dog the other day. Did you pour aluminum on? I poured molten aluminum on Benjamin. My dog was out in the front yard. You know sniffing around is gonna go to the bathroom
Starting point is 00:49:48 And he's like He's sniffing at one spot for a little bit and like takes two steps away and he starts like pying at his face Yeah, I like it. He's got some dirt or something But he still keeps doing it. I'm like all right something's wrong So I walk up to him and I grab his face and you know tilt it up to me And he's just got all these little black ants in his muzzle. Oh no. And he's got like no nose, you know, it's like really flat so it's everywhere on his face.
Starting point is 00:50:08 Like, fighting ants? Like those black ones? Black, so not fire ants. Yeah, so I'm just like, they are trying to pull out all these little black ants that are crawling all over his fucking face. He did not go back and sniff around there again. No.
Starting point is 00:50:21 It's like the kind of mistake you make only once. That's horrible. Pull out a dog. Yeah, I felt really bad It's like I know better than that, but you're stupid dog. You don't know you better than that Yeah, so you missed the we talked about it briefly But you missed the discussion about or the video estermate after her wisdom teeth were removed I thought I watched that whole thing a couple times just now feeling better. Is she really? Yeah She's fighting normal food.
Starting point is 00:50:45 That's good. We actually all went on to dinner, dinner at night, and I got to talk to her a little bit about that. And when I got my wisdom teeth taken out, I did it as part of like a pharmaceutical study, which are huge in college towns. So they basically get like poor college students to come and like take experimental medication. Robert Rodriguez funded his whole first movie that way. He took like a heart medication.
Starting point is 00:51:04 That seems like a horrible thing. But the way that they did mine was they I wasn't knocked out. They just like took my wisdom to that with me awake, but like local anesthetic and make said you had the same exact thing. But I won in Pacta Tooth and I'll never forget where they put like the some kind of chisel thing in there like that and then they take this thing just look like a metal brick and he's hitting it like this like this my vision is just going so you can't feel it but you can like feel it oh that sounds awful it's like stomach want to turn sounds as bad as the ice skate scene in cost away
Starting point is 00:51:42 oh that's horrible it seems to me like if I had to remove a tooth like the way he did it was in the movie catchway he smashes his tooth out of sore tooth with the ice skate. Yeah, a brick around rock. But I I feel like you just wiggle the tooth out of you working on it long enough like yeah, but that hurts. Ice skate doesn't hurt. Yeah, but it's getting's not quickly. Yeah, yeah, I'm tying it to a string Like ripping off a band-aid versus slowly pulling it off. Oh my god. Yeah, that's having to eat enough by ants I mentioned that that brick he uses like it's a surgical brick like Sealed up like all the other medical equipment. I bet his name was engraved
Starting point is 00:52:19 He's got it like tear the packaging off him. You're like all right, then you use it Then it's like all right come throw it away you've got another one right it's just got like this old cabinet of like surgical bricks it's got the empties up in how expensive would be to have like a house built out of those surgical bricks or it's probably just like a normal piece of metal but they charge like $10,000 for it because it's medical grade brick right it's medical grade brick in the United States yeah anything you put like a price tagging on like it's for either for the government or it's medical grade brick. Right. Medical grade brick in the United States. Anything you put like a price tag on it, it's for either for the government or it's for medicine, it goes up like 3000% value.
Starting point is 00:52:52 Like an aspirin when you go to the hospital, it's like 80 bucks an aspirin. What? It's just, it's the US healthcare system. I guess you too wouldn't even recognize that. You have an itemized your bill, and even if the insurance pays for everything, you get to see exactly what everything costs.
Starting point is 00:53:04 So go to your box of Kleenex that was $25 Just a nurse brought it like you could be a mini bar in a hotel. Yeah, it is. Did you watch a better call Saul? No, I still haven't seen it. Okay, haven't seen that I haven't seen What's the Kevin Spacey one? The car. Thank you. How's cards I haven't seen that I haven't seen dare double yet which people keep asking about I finally watch the first two episodes of that I want to see just because it's apparently an incredible fight scene in it good It's like I expected to be so much better for some reason just because of all the hype like I still enjoyed it Dude my expectations for dare double or so low dare double to me is like one of the lame is comic book characters ever
Starting point is 00:53:40 What does he do? What's this thing? He's acrobat a blind acro blind acrobat. He's a blind acrobat. Yeah, but because he's blind Got the pass But like to me the most interesting thing about Daredevil is that teenage mutant ninja turtles are basically a parody of daredevil. They started off that way Like the origin story for daredevil The nuclear waste kind of keeps going and it makes the teenage mutant ninja turtles Also it gets him and then gets a bunch of it gets the turtles well like the thing that turns him into daredouble like he gets hit in the eyes with a radioactive thing that falls out of a truck Sure, that's super eyes. What blind him? Yeah, right. That's right. Anybody else are giving the surprise
Starting point is 00:54:13 Yeah him no blinds him the way it's supposed to but then it also gives him other stuff Yeah, how do you Spider-Man that Spider-Man got all the stuff he did get and didn't get like He didn't get like I Eight or appendages. Yeah, how many eyes this is fine. Hey, it does have eight has eight one for each leg I never thought about that. What if that's the way that worked? Is it an eye to leg Regret dogs don't have For us a lot of things don't a lot of it We don't have for eyes. I was just giving an example. We have two two legs. No, we're two legs. Jesus. We have four appendages guys
Starting point is 00:54:48 What we're doing appendages are legs do you guys understand there's no difference between our arms and Spiders legs, right? I mean it's the same thing. No spider doesn't grab. Spider doesn't grab shit She's what you walk on She's using a spider has eight legs and no arms. Yes, I totally agree Thanks how many are We're gonna at least perspective conversations. It's it's for the four legs of front. Those are arms. What if the spider was in Australia? What does that mean? Yeah, exactly right. Are the arts legs upside down? Do we have the ambulance perspective conversation on the podcast, right? Yeah, like whether I'm
Starting point is 00:55:18 with this is yeah, where is the ambulance going when you see it? It's all that perspective stuff. You know, yeah, spider. I'm guarantee you someone on Twitter can ask this Tweet us hashtag RT podcast. We think it's seven less. No, it's absolutely eight legs. Yeah spider has eight legs I mean like a freeze. I know it has eight legs, but they also have four arms. Yeah, I don't think there's any different arms and legs You're your fool. I'm not I'm regular Completely regular. Well, though if you walk on your hands, are they legs? You put shoes in your hands. What if your arms didn't know they were legs? So if a bear stands up, there's a video of a bear walking on a time legs, our legs then arms
Starting point is 00:55:52 The front here have arms because When it stands up, yeah a bear does have arms Yeah, it walks all four of them. Look when it stands up and has arms. So you're saying it's it's changes It's relative. Yes, and then it grows another center Like does it do it fit main fiddling with the front two arms like can it rip open a beehive With its legs so what it uses arms. Let's go back to original conversation though If a the spider stood up on its rear four legs, would it more of a tie is disappear? That's the original conversation that we had
Starting point is 00:56:23 It just closes for it. It closes. It's like, oh look at all fuck. It jumps in his blood. It gets hit in four eyes with radio active. Would you rather have four arms or four legs? I also have a scene true detective to add to your detective. So good. What if a radioactive man bit a spider? What is that radioactive man? He would know it would be a radioactive man what What was it the spider perspective man?
Starting point is 00:56:48 Pirate skills. What do you become bit it? What do you become man man? Man? Spider man. Spider he has the power to do taxes Playing music and traffic playing video games all day Completed by the economy. He just gets the possible thumbs and that's it. Oh I can't believe I see new season of true detective June 21st I got to see the old one. I gotta see the old one. You gotta watch the old one. There's something else I need episode. It's not very long.
Starting point is 00:57:10 I missed out on most of Silicon Valley. You probably missed out on the jinx, which I talked about forever. I have, but I did watch Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Actually, when I watched one episode of that, and I win all the way through it, and that is a funny fucking show. It gets so gets so much better after like the first three episodes. I think I've seen the first two. Yeah, I watch the first two. I totally stuck with it because people told me that too.
Starting point is 00:57:31 Yeah. They got better after three episodes. No, it's good. I like, it's weird to me. I was scrolling through my Netflix queue the other day. And it's weird for a long time. You know, it was all big budget movies and it was all like movies that maybe were a little more obscure that you weren't, you hadn't heard of. And now, then it was one original,
Starting point is 00:57:51 then it was two, and now it's like half of Netflix's originals. There is so much original content. I watched one the other day. I'd never even, I don't think I'd even heard of it. Chef's table. So about chefs and cooking. I was like, there's a whole bunch of, there's a whole bunch of, cooking shows. Directed, zero, James'sucho. Oh, dude, I watched the hell out of that. Yeah, it was super pretentious. I watched the first episode. I was like, I want a bunch of fucking fakes. I was so, I was so full of them. So, yeah, everything's been that way. Like, BitTorrent announced that they're making original series now. Chef told me today's Snapchat doing
Starting point is 00:58:21 original series. Oh yeah, full screen did a Snapchat original series. We did with the Freddie Wong. Jeff to hold it down to watch it. Yeah Yeah, you gotta really be committed. I'll be honest. I couldn't really I was like I can't this isn't my thing You know, oh, I think I'm really cool with Freddie though. We're in New York City No, but I got I got really quiet Feels like I'm gonna tell some dirty not at all really dorky. Oh Freddie invited me out to a an escape room Which Gus you fucking love hold on hold on. I'm an escape room. Got it. It's in your city
Starting point is 00:58:54 It's a room you can go to that is soundproof and it's isolated It's like in the middle of a building if you just want to get away from the noise and the crowd of the city Just a small room with a chair and a drink. Not even close. You need a therapist dude. You really need a therapist. That's what I want in my escape room. You have massive social issues.
Starting point is 00:59:13 Is it a room that protects you from some type of disaster? Nope. No, Evan, you want to guess? I know, I know what it is. Yeah, he knows what it is. I kind of like a left and a left. Where Adam was to go do this for like an hour and a half and they came back. You missed out on David Blaine and Snoop Dog. Snoop Dog. Somehow I'm a left in the event where Dan wants to go do this for like an hour and a half and they came back You missed out on David Blaine and Snoop Dogg and Snoop Dogg somehow I'm a Wes Anderson. Oh
Starting point is 00:59:29 Dad I really do regret seeing not seeing Wes Anderson He was in from escape from a room. Yeah, so they put you in a room and they lock the door And you have an hour to get out of the room and the room is filled with puzzles that lead you to the key to get you out That's way worse than my idea. What's so cool. It was a lot of fun. It was a whole lot of fun. How are people in there with you? Well, it was me and Freddie, another guy from Ronc Jump, and then two randoms that they paired with us,
Starting point is 00:59:53 who were just fucking worthless. Freddie and I were just like, these guys, all they did that said, oh, here's their strategy. You could ask for a clue like once every 15 minutes. So there's strategy was every minute to go, we should ask for a clue. I mean, that's basically all they contributed the entire time.
Starting point is 01:00:12 What's saying? Should we, let's get another clue. Let's get a clue. Do you have time to tell them to stand in the corner and not just get you just kind of like tune them out after a little while. But like the first thing we had to do was like turn over the carpet. There was a combo lock on the filing cabinet. We turn over the carpet. had the numbers on it. We tried it, that didn't work. But then if you folded the carpet together,
Starting point is 01:00:28 it was actually two sets of numbers. That's really cool. Yeah, you got me. Yes, we got to one point where we had like, we were reading a story that was clues and we found the right square on the chess board. And we were like trying to figure out how to make the chess board work. Because we were following the story of the white queen. And we kept discovering these laser pointers as we went. What the fuck are these laser pointers as we went.
Starting point is 01:00:45 What the fuck are these laser pointers for? And then we opened up a side room that we didn't know existed by pulling a lamp and they like that open a part of the fireplace and we went in the side room because it gave us a doorknob and then in there was another checker board in this thing and all this writing in the walls and then we figured out right at the end that we had to take the staff that it holds in it put all the laser pointers in it and then they would point if we put on the right place the side board. Indiana Jones. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. I'm totally into it. Yeah. Yeah. I want to do that. You do it. And you probably
Starting point is 01:01:10 didn't bug me to do it forever. Are they different escape rooms? Like it's not just one escape room, right? Like if you solve it, you can come back and do another one. That is correct. Okay. So we did the Sherlock Holmes one. So you can show a go to one in Manhattan. I just kind of roomed it a little bit for you. Can you bugger a bugger up the next bit? Like if you ruin something later on in the clue, it's called ruin it. Like what if you messed up the chest board or something? That's exactly the example they gave us. They said we'll give you one hint before you start.
Starting point is 01:01:36 You should not move anything on the chest board until you have figured out what it's purposes. That's the only clue we'll give you. Apparently that must happen a lot to people. I'm being told by Patrick and my ear that there's one in Austin. There is one in Austin. That was my next question because I would totally do that. We should do a little challenge.
Starting point is 01:01:48 Do a podcast. The previous problem. For obvious reasons, they don't leave film. Like we couldn't like, we could have our phones in there to like look up reference stuff. But we couldn't watch any videos because we couldn't watch the room and we couldn't record new videos. I feel like you stick your phones away. I feel like you shouldn't have your phone. I agree. It kind of threw you off track though. But we couldn't watch any videos because we couldn't watch the room and we couldn't record new videos I feel like you should have your phone. I
Starting point is 01:02:06 agree It kind of it kind of threw you off track bill like we had tarot cards and There was some that were missing and they have numbers like all the tarot face cards And so I was looking up trying to figure out which ones were missing But that's not what the purpose ended up being. It's like really everything we needed was in that room as far as I can remember I really want to do this it was a blast. They should maybe just give you like a Terminal in there like an old was in that room. As far as I can remember. I really wanna do this. It was a blast. They should maybe just give you like a terminal in there, like an old computer in that room
Starting point is 01:02:28 that could only access Wikipedia and nothing else. Be poop, poop, poop, poop. Yeah, and I periscope the whole way there, like with Freddie like walking down my head it was talking about like, Oh, I saw that periscope. Yeah, it was talking about all this, but that's where we were going.
Starting point is 01:02:37 So if you saw that periscope, that's where we were walking. I did tell the story last week about how you were periscoping and then a girl was watching it and then was in it. That was crazy. That one thing that they need to change in a parascope is that the location data is really really specific. You can turn off location data. You can turn it off but it's like they just need to say like what city or something like that. But like kind of like how Twitter
Starting point is 01:02:58 has the option. Yeah. This uh like Twitter gives you your coordinates like you know how close you are. But uh yeah this girl she saw I was following Dan and Gather were covered in paint and confetti. We can get a cap back because we're covered in paint. No, Gabby was gonna let them in this car and she saw it's periscoping, recognized the cross-trees, found us and then ended up on the periscope that she was watching. Wow that's crazy. That's crazy. Yeah. I've been having fun with that app. I haven't had fun with like social media. We've been in a lot of like really mundane things,
Starting point is 01:03:29 but it was kind of cool to be doing it. Like when I got, we went to like a tea room or something. And then me and Ashley did that. I watched you guys have dinner one night, that was fun. Me, in LA? When were there? No, in New York. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:03:40 Yeah. Me and Ashley are. No, you guys. What did I have? Dan and Gavin. I don't remember. I think you came like at dessert or something. Oh, that was when they sent me like a spoonful of spaghetti. I think you were wearing like a suit jacket and they weren't
Starting point is 01:03:52 or something and you were ragging on them. Or Dan was dressed up really nicely. No, Dan, that was the night Dan was dressed up better. OK. Yeah. Dapper. Dapper, Dan. I want to revisit an old conversation very quickly.
Starting point is 01:04:01 Someone on Twitter, Eric LeeTV, Paris, says, if horny-odey, the wonder dog has taught me anything, it's that if you can jerk off, is you can jerk off with arms otherwise they're legs. Ha ha, exactly. I like it. It all comes full circle. So there you go,
Starting point is 01:04:16 we even gave our own example earlier in the podcast. So how does this fighter jerk off? You could do it with your legs. No way. So we can get your, I mean, you can just legs up in there. So now now You have to have some kind of creek what yeah on your foot or something you can fudge yourself with your foot
Starting point is 01:04:36 Yeah, just like sit on it right and then move You've done that I'm saying I have I'm saying you can't you not saying you haven't did you do that back So you just got down one day and you'll just like it's like the robot thing all over again. I'm not saying I have them saying you can't. You're not saying you haven't. Did you do that back? And you just sat down one day and you were just like, there's like the robot thing all over again. I'm sorry, you were not approved. You're not qualified for this answer. You're not qualified.
Starting point is 01:04:53 But yeah, no, I mean, you can do that on anything. You can do that on anything. Get them the right angle. This is a very enlightening podcast. Yeah. I'm not saying all women can do this, but some who enjoy that type of stimulation. Seems like you wouldn't want to put in there, though.
Starting point is 01:05:13 Well, maybe if it's not the slippers. As long as you have a socket, it's okay, right? You can touch the red shed with your sock. The sock is the barrier, it prevents infection. I like something about- Maybe the weirdest girl talk ever the next day. What? It's like I was with this new guy last night. He had a foot like wow foot, no literally a foot.
Starting point is 01:05:32 That's it. He just laid it on the bed and I sat on top of it. It was great. So disgusting. So Barb when you're talking with girlfriends, at what point point does the guys penis size like enter the conversation first two sentences like No, not not very much sentence three That's it's three at least five or six. Yeah, you want to get the conversation going before you blurted out They're just so interesting though aren't they?
Starting point is 01:06:02 Penises they are I mean like we're all fascinated by the dolphin because you can't say anything about vagina. Like no one's ever gonna be like what's ever a gynaleight? You like it? It seems rude. It's a vagina. It seems rude. It feels great. It's stuff in it. Yeah. It takes stuff out of it.
Starting point is 01:06:18 You never be like oh you know it's just all of the four inches deep. Exactly. What was that? That was the thing like the women women, like dudes are obsessed with size in rulers. Like, what if, like, I was like, women, like, oh, I got the dipstick five and a half. I can honestly, really, I can honestly tell you that, like, conversations guys never had that conversation of like, it's like, so I ended up going home with the screw last night. It's like, how was Vag? Did a great Vag?
Starting point is 01:06:41 So when do you refer to boobs or just the sex in general? This is sex in general. Yeah. Yeah. Like the moves. So you never comment on her body? I mean, yeah, I'll say yes, but it's not like it's not the vagina. No, I know it's not the vagina.
Starting point is 01:06:58 More so if she's like on the like tips of scale on the high end, like you say home with the girl last night, she was fucking crazy hot. Yeah Yeah, like that. So she was kind of medium and be like yeah, yeah, where you would be like I was girl last night You know, I mean I know I think I think I went home with this girl last night. She was totally average She was a solid five. I was said that Dan always does point out when the girl does a no Always know it and I don't I don't always want to know that. Who does that? Well, no, it's sometimes, but I don't want to know it all the time.
Starting point is 01:07:28 I don't ever want to know that about people. It is when you're like a free hotel breakfast with those people. This may sound really derogatory and we might, maybe we should cut it. Let's not, maybe. But if Dan's with a girl, she does anal. We'd like to welcome Dan's girlfriend's parents to the podcast. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:07:46 Is this the point where you dropped a mic? You just walk off. But you like, you know, I guess you said that's all he's into. I don't know. I feel like whatever. He must just manage to get a girl to do it. No matter who she is. He's like, he's once to be real careful. He just never kid. Yeah. Maybe that's easy. By the way, we're in a very nice Asian restaurant in Manhattan. I brought these guys up to do that. Next to all these nice people having dinner. This is their full conversation.
Starting point is 01:08:15 It was like 20 minutes of annual material. Just like non-stop. Well, you, I mean, the waitress had a bogey. What? A bogey? A white horse? A white horse is running. Oh, that was bartender.. Oh, I got sick after words. Now I know why. What does that have to do with Dan talking about anal? Well,
Starting point is 01:08:30 it's not very fancy place if the botan is running. See, yeah, I we were getting drink and I go to Gamma go bartenders got right now. He's like, he's like, does he completely lost it after that. Yeah, you were knocked out You were you were not feeling well for a while she you had a two right? Yeah, there's a bunch people the office Jeff had something I had something Jack had something Aaron had something We all got I money caught from Teddy Teddy got sick So you brought something back from Australia. You don't typically did you yeah? Yeah? Yeah, you did have a koala. I did oh So you all have syphilis you're a climberia that's what they passed right yeah the disease right yeah
Starting point is 01:09:10 so you don't have syphilis. Climberia I think they can still cure I don't even care syphilis anymore. I think they can cure both. No I think one is going away. Yeah one of them has reached the end of antibiotic effectiveness. Make sure me something interesting today Interesting I'm really curious about this mega is it we just say whatever all right what tastes better a sandwich that you made or a sandwich that someone else made someone else Yeah, no a sandwich that you made really you think your sandwich is the best. Yeah, all right of course because other Sandwich made by other people involve other people right there. We go That's exactly and then involves other people involve other people right there we go exactly and then involves other people touching my food
Starting point is 01:09:46 what if it's your magic hard that is for you apparently the science behind why a sandwich made by someone else tastes better that's actually both of them right now as you're making the sandwich like you're becoming desensitized to all the ingredients and you're like making the sandwich and by the time you actually get to the point where you're eating the sandwich you kind of bored about the sandwich and you know you know that into it but if someone just gives you a sandwich, I've nowhere, you're like,
Starting point is 01:10:06 sandwich. What if you're making a decoy sandwich at the same time? I love the idea. What do they go to you? What do they go to you? What do they think they go to you and they say, can I make you a sandwich? Do you want a sandwich? You go, sure. And then you're like, oh, you get it. And it's great. But even like that 30 seconds or a minute that it takes him to like, oh, you get it and it's great. But even like that 30 seconds or a minute that it takes him to make the sandwich, you desensitize a little bit. You're not desensitizing.
Starting point is 01:10:29 What's the best thing be if they just walk up behind you with a fucking sandwich and just like, they wait till you're yawning and just whew! That would be the best sandwich ever had in your life. What if you're watching them make it and you get desensitized to like seeing everything? I wish it star restaurant.
Starting point is 01:10:41 What if that's the one suddenly sandwich? And you just walk in and it's just like, wow, I guess you'd be going in that forest. It's, what if it's like you then you really do they do like a subway like where you can't see the ingredients anymore They just ask you and they're like working behind like a counter us totally see you ask you philosophically. How do you feel about? Like this like blade runner. They ask you some questions and they determine the kind of sandwich That you want and it just shows up at the end. But I get it like I Feel like I make a good sandwich, but I'm not into it when I mean it. Yeah, so I'll eat it, but it's just like Why don't we do a test? Well both make each other the exact same sandwich with the same ingredients
Starting point is 01:11:15 Well, I think that would you know that would I think that would all of us I know that the ingredients I was getting but I'm making it for you Right, but you're just he's to sensitize to those ingredients. You guys make me hungry. You just help Speak it Best sandwiches basic ham and cheese really just like bread how white bread, okay, what are you but? Excuse me. No, I'm kidding. Okay, maybe me. It's up is good sandwich. Me balls are terrible terrible What's messy so it tastes good? No? is a good sandwich. Meatballs are so sweet. Terrible. Terrible. What? Messy. So it tastes good.
Starting point is 01:11:47 Awful. No, you're right. Meatballs should not be in a sandwich. How you serving the contours? So good. What about all of the sauce from Meatball sub and the meat but in thinly sliced meatball slices? Yes.
Starting point is 01:11:58 Why don't they make that? I'll accept that. That's really good. Right now. Meatball slice sandwich. That tastes delicious. Or sandwich. Oh my god. When I was watching Dan and G gave do the thing they had these people I get to have my day Which of the best favorite things I'll talk about the serving tray fillet. She's sick. Oh, that's a good one big
Starting point is 01:12:11 All good a bit so like That's the You know sandwich. I think it reminds like a Italian sub like ooh It's hot Coca like with a little bit of like a little vinegar on it. It's just not too much I'm going to the doctor coach better. I love that. I ate like a fat person this weekend. Isn't it fun?
Starting point is 01:12:32 I really fat. On Saturday. I had a... I'm like, how you lifted your unicorns looking back? I remember that. I had dinner. I had a really good dinner. I'm to find dinner, it was really, really good. Then after dinner, it was like, I'm gonna watch a couple of salue, I have a few episodes of Lui on my DVR.
Starting point is 01:12:48 Started watching it. First episode, I see him eating that cheese pizza at the beginning, the pasta was like, I want a pizza. I called East Side Pies in order to pizza. Eight half of a pizza, after I'd already eaten dinner, then went to bed, next day woke up, whatever. Go to get lunch, go go up get a sandwich come home Eat my eat a whole sandwich. Oh the sandwich is really good. I still have half of that pizza in my fridge
Starting point is 01:13:10 He did up my pizza then immediately ate the other half of a pizza I had two dinners and then two lunches the next day. He had a salad today to make up for it. Did you do? Yeah, did you dump more? Did I know? More no, not more noticeably no So I gained all that weight Essentially is what I like you Happening up the sound of that vine was going through my head of Gus just eating all Yeah, I said Barbara of vine. I just saw it. I merely thought Barbara's gonna love this
Starting point is 01:13:38 I showed to add new two people with love actually Barbara showed to Ashley she laughed at it And so I said to Barbara and then Lauren picked it up to I see Lauren Who does a lot of the sketches? Well we're watching the podcast. She also designed some of the fun house shirts. Mm-hmm. If I'm just gonna click me Yeah, she loves you picked up on it too and loved it just like straight up. Yeah, it's a lady about to take a bubble bath and she's like Go on This is so funny the way she we're just talking about he's gonna happen, but nothing nothing happened That's it. That's it. We just talked about baths the the previous podcast. We did I thought about that and I thought that totally fine. Totally fine. We'll definitely clean you
Starting point is 01:14:13 Thank you. I'm glad you're right. I want to remind everyone this episode of the podcast is also brought to you by Dollar Shave Club The first time I heard about Dollar Shave Club.com. I was skeptical I didn't think a razor that only cost a few bucks could ever deliver a great shape It seemed too good to be true DollarShaveClub.com, I was skeptical. I didn't think a razor that only costs a few bucks could ever deliver a great shave. It seemed too good to be true. Then I tried them. DollarShaveClub.com razor gave me the most amazing shave I've had in years. And their Dr. Carver shave butter? I don't know how I've ever lived without it. If you're still using old-fashioned shave foam, you're missing out. Don't be fooled by the affordable price. These razors are legit. So legit. Try DollarShaveClub.com slash Rooster Teeth today. That's DollarShaveClub.com slash roosterteeth today. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash roosterteeth.
Starting point is 01:14:46 Do you want to shave? You may as well. Save money. Yeah. I miss the role of saying, shave time, shave money. I would say that one in a lot. That's so much better. That's a free one. I said it again. We went to go visit Ashley's family in Utah because I don't have any obligations for Mother's Day. My boys are corresponding to the weekend with their mother for Mother's Day and my mother has passed away. So we went up to go see her mom, and spend time with her family, and we're just thing ever. The most impressed I've ever seen them
Starting point is 01:15:12 about what we do for a living was the fact that Dollar Shave Club sponsors the podcast. Her Ashley sister loves Dollar Shave Club, for whatever reason. Like that was like, she was like, that's crazy, I love that company. She's doing a lot about Dollar Shave Club. it's a great service. Yeah, it is great service It is so glad to see they're doing well
Starting point is 01:15:30 She was talking to like all the commercials they make online and everything like that. I love having stuff I need deliver to me and sent to me to my home. I mean not having to go out anywhere It's the best it's yeah, it's happening more and more with every single service. You can think of them hiding more and more Yeah, I was so happy the other day. I ordered yes, I don't want to see I'm so I So happy the other day I got some food delivered from one of those services and the guy didn't even get out of his car He just rolled down his window and was like here you go. I grabbed it. I was like thanks and just drove off Do that mean you have to like walk down your stairs though?
Starting point is 01:16:02 Because you're... Yes. Okay. Yeah. But I always, I like to meet people on the street because that way they don't get lost and they don't know where they know where they're going. You've been to his house? No. I, we drive by it every now and then though. We even look, there it is. Yeah. When we're coming back from lunch, he's like, I'm going to drive at my house. Or my old house.
Starting point is 01:16:24 Or my old house. I like driving my old house sometimes. Do you? Do you see what they're doing with it? Yeah. They're not doing anything. Oh, they're not. When somebody else fixes it up, like right away, you're like, I'm such a lazy prick.
Starting point is 01:16:31 I don't do any of that stuff. I did that. I fix that house. And now it's just falling apart again. The dudes who had my house before me, they were two dudes that lived together and known to hair salon. I'm assuming that they were probably together.
Starting point is 01:16:43 They had rose bushes, and I hope they never drive by my house because the rose bushes were amazing. I'm doing nothing to maintain the rose bushes at this point, but they're doing fine. I mean, they like, they, all winter, I was like, oh, these fogging things are dead. And then in the spring, they blossom back up, and roses all over the place.
Starting point is 01:16:59 You're gonna say like the second you move, then you just like cut them all down. We've talked about it. We've talked about it. I learned to actually just not like cactuses. I would we've talked about it I learned actually does not like cactus's Kaka she was like Kaka we have like prickly pear with no prickles just We have those like some kind of like deniedled cactus in our front yard. She just hates it Well, it's ugly something about it. I don't know what it is. I haven't got the bottom of it because they bleed
Starting point is 01:17:23 Yeah, they're like goop. They do theop. They like slice them and they goop everyone. You have a lot of sharp plants at the front of your house We have sharp ones in the back too. I noticed that whenever I come over to your house And it's just like I have to like dodge things and avoid oh because they got Thor we got rose bushes and cacti It's like it's like a fairy tale. There's like a yeah like a sleeping princess somewhere in my house It's like we're trying to keep everybody away whenever we come over and it's like already dark outside I'm terrified for my life. I'm gonna prick myself on something. Yeah, but the cactus is won't prick you They won't you also have like these leaves that are like really sharp at the ends. Those are the rose bushes. Yeah, they get you I became De-confused with something I found out this week. Oh, what is it? What are you getting like a moment of clarity?
Starting point is 01:18:02 No, I just like de-confused. Well, like I was kind of confused my whole life and I just kind of never thought anything of it. I remember when Super Smash Bros. came out, there was this character in it called Ness. And I was like, I don't know what that is, I never heard of that. But I was like, I recognize every other character. So I was like,
Starting point is 01:18:18 well, that was Ness. That's from Earthbound. And when I came here, I was like, yeah, what's that Ness got ever like, yeah, Earthbound, you know? That was great, less stuff. I found out it came out in Japan in like 1994 came out in the US 1995 it never came out in Europe really 2013 when the Wii U came out and it was available for first time in 2013. Wow
Starting point is 01:18:39 So originally I was just like, I guess that game just I must have missed it I just never it was never out in the Any of your friends in the UK remission that I guess I guess that game just, I must have missed it. I just never, it was never out in the, in the, in the, anyone in Europe. Friends in the UK, I've remissioned that. No. I guess, I guess everyone in Europe saw Ness for the first time in Smash Brothers. And they just assumed it was a character.
Starting point is 01:18:53 And now they made a game for him. That looks older shit. Yeah. But I was like, I was finally like, ah, that makes so much sense. I thought it was an idiot because I missed this game. But it's totally normal that I wouldn't have played it. Well, good job. Yeah. You have the stamina to thought you were. It's just to get this, but it's totally normal. I wouldn't have played it Well good job. Yeah, you have this tendency that you were
Starting point is 01:19:06 It just really is funny that it came out like 18 years later in Europe. That's really bizarre I feel like that doesn't happen anymore Like that used to be a thing before information was as readily available like localization and regions like There's not a huge one the other way gap anymore They had adventures in the UK two weeks before we did all right right. Yeah, they did seem yeah, and it's seen it They did the same thing with the first Avengers too and ever since I filmed The the Sherlock Holmes scene in those woods. Let's let big slow mo bow and yeah, that's a really great team I just see those woods in every single movie. Yeah, like I filmed a snow white in the Huntsman in those exact same woods
Starting point is 01:19:40 The Avengers shot the opening scene and the Avengers was the exact same words it's like it's a game of thrones in there I don't know oh it's him so right it looks like it probably that's it's a 20 what you know is something what the name of that studio where they have those words those ones and that's you what's that kind of a pine wood I guess okay that was like that it's basically this like if you go there it's it's a big open field and then the woods. So you can like film as with the woods as a backdrop without having to go into the woods. You know, you can film like right up against them and it looks like you're in them.
Starting point is 01:20:12 But there's like all the space for trucks and stuff. Do you see Avengers yet? I did, I did. I liked it. I'm not gonna do to many spoilers. I thought they, I thought they really fucked up Scarlet Witch, but other than that, I thought everything was great. Like they up Scarlet Witch, but other than that, I thought everything was great
Starting point is 01:20:25 Like they made they made like John you know, Josweed and Quit Twitter over The fact that he was getting it's actually a lot of people are speaking on behalf of why he quit Twitter a lot of people quit Twitter recently like Simon Pegg quit Twitter and Josweed and Quit he's director and writer of the Avengers and people are saying it's because he got attacked for Black Widow being a weak female character. Like she was the damsel in distress at one point in the movie. But everybody in that movie is like, has trouble in that. And they did. He also a badass at a lot of points.
Starting point is 01:20:57 She saves the entire team like in one little sequence. That's amazing. But yeah, it's basically like if you saw the first Avengers, there's that one shot during the battle with the aliens where they go through like all the members of the team as they're fighting and they seem to go from one to the next. They basically turn that one shot and sequence into the entire movie for age of Ultron. It's just like non-stop for two hours. How did you feel about it? I enjoyed it. I'm very not picky when it comes to movies though. I like it. I like it.
Starting point is 01:21:26 I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it.
Starting point is 01:21:34 I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it.
Starting point is 01:21:42 I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. to do something else and then came up with this plan. Never he was trying to do the other thing and he couldn't do it. But you needed vibranium for that? No. I mean, that's the thing was like,
Starting point is 01:21:52 is that in Clarkson? It's so hard to like communicate an AI enemy because they like, it's all over the planet doing multiple things at one time, you know? Yeah. And you can't even see what it's doing. You might have been collecting the vibranium, I don't know, for a backup plan and it needed's doing. It might have been collecting the vibranium,
Starting point is 01:22:06 I don't know, for a backup plan, and it needed the backup plan. You know, it became plan number one. I thought it was a really cool shot when he was kind of mid-sentence and then like crushes himself with his new body. Oh yeah. I thought he was a great design. When I first saw the like the facial features of Ultron,
Starting point is 01:22:21 I remember from the comic, and I thought that doesn't look anything like actual Ultron, but I thought the character was great. What is original Ultron look like? He almost was a metal roach. Honestly, like almost like an insect. Which I guess, I guess you could say the same thing to the half. Yeah, the only in four legs being 18 arms. Yeah. But how many eyes? Let me see here. I'll look up a picture of Ultron for you. Ultron comic book. You know what I was thinking about the other day too? How come nobody's made a comic book movie with a poster that looks like a comic book cover? Like why hasn't the Avengers done the Avengers with the little boxes all their heads? That is not that is not that might be the newer version of Ultron
Starting point is 01:22:59 I'm thinking about the original one. I like the deals have actually eight arms I like to do those have actually eight arms. Yeah. I'll show it together. Wasn't the, didn't the, I don't know like the 1960s one. Didn't the Angle, wasn't the Angle Hulk poster kind of comic bookish? Like that's the movie that they filmed in that comic book style. That could be wrong.
Starting point is 01:23:17 I said it with the last Avengers movie as well. I want to see a mock-reffalo Hulk movie. A lot. Oh yeah, they kind of give up on those Hulk movies, man. Yeah. Because they're a pap. What do you think of give up on those Hulk movies man. Yeah they're a pap. What do you think about having a black widow movie? That's ultra. Okay. That's ultra. Oh well I was in the link dump. Anybody else can look about this is ultra. Oh look at this. It looks like he's ultra. Yeah it looks like a thing. But the way they did the
Starting point is 01:23:40 mouth and everything like I never liked the way they did Optimus Prime's mouth and transformers. They still play. I know I like to steal plate from the cartoon and everything, like I never liked the way they did Optimus Primes mouth and Transformers. They still play. I know I like to steal plate from the cartoon and they gave him lips. Oh, movie. Now hated that. But the way they gave Ultron a mouth worked. Like it was different pieces that like there's two like circles in this cheek that kind of moved out the way sometimes.
Starting point is 01:23:57 Yeah, that's cool. And the little pieces that came down curved in. And I thought James Spader as Ultron, I was like, that's never gonna work. Absolutely worked. And he didn't even change his voice at all. That's James Spader as Ultron. I was like, that's never gonna work. Absolutely worked. And he didn't even change his voice at all. That's James Spader. Yeah. And he was very stupid. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad.
Starting point is 01:24:08 I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too bad. I know it's too you don't know it's like it seems like it's first instinct once it came online or became sentient would be to hide itself like what if there's been one for like what to leave itself 10 years or delete itself I don't think that would be oh first thing you would you would you would say no life form wants to kill itself why humans kill themselves all the time right that's is the seven criteria for life is the ability to protect itself? Oh, I don't know. I don't know her that.
Starting point is 01:24:48 The animal is blood inside the body. Yeah, I know. The animal is burned up. The animals ever legitimately kill themselves. Like get depressed. Just still legitimately. No, I mean like some animals like fall off a cliff by accident. Did you see that video of the guy saving the sheep through the fence?
Starting point is 01:25:03 And they like get its head out and then they let go and then they're actually on a cliff and he accidentally lets it go and it falls all the way down and it's just like watching it like it's just like tumbling the whole head down a sheep. Yeah, yeah sheep. There was also one I think I saw last week of this guy sees a moose stuck in a fence very similarly where it's head is stuck through. So the guy like stops his truck gets out and he's like I'm gonna help this moose He's like fucking getting the fence and you know pushing the moose through and then he finally gets the moose out The moose stands up and starts charging at him and attacking him like doing that moose thing We're trying to bat him with his legs and the guys like I helped you
Starting point is 01:25:38 Keep this moose at bay running away from it. Yeah, that moose doesn't know shit They're trying to mess with it. The moose knows it's angry and you're right in front of it. Yeah, that moves, there's no shit. They can try to mess with it. The moose knows it's angry, and you're right in front of it. Yeah. Yep. Joe, no. Bill, the projected self is not one of the seven characters in some life. What are the seven characters?
Starting point is 01:25:52 Ah, they're a little rough here. The article that I have here is from a voice. Oh, this is him saving the sheep. Oh. Oh, no. Wow. What the heck? What the heck?
Starting point is 01:26:02 Jesus, look at it. Go. It looks like that cheese wheel that they do with the guys rolling I totally want to do that. I don't know what he was expecting though. He's on a steep cliff. Where's he gonna put it? I know you would think the sheep could fucking stand it got up there. I did that's true God I want to film cheese rolling in slow mo so bad. Oh, you should be at the bottom of the hill I just want people to Oh my god
Starting point is 01:26:24 People would spray bones doing that all the time don't they? Where's that is that UK? Is that Ireland? Maybe I could do it when I'm back. Yeah. Yeah, I don't want to fuck up my saying that. Yeah, we uh I don't want to get into like the did you see video portion of the the podcast but there was another one I saw. There was another one I saw where this guy was at the running of the bulls and he's standing in the middle of the street Like take it a picture with his back to where the bulls are coming from. Oh, no, and this bull just like kind of season It slowly walks up and just like does the head thing just have a bunch of people running away
Starting point is 01:26:56 And then picture of this guy punch people pointing like it's so fucking weird like almost makes me wonder like did he stand out there on purpose? Like you would feel a Bull walking up behind you right here is The breath it's it just one of the czar. I wish I was truly find more contacts sometimes But it was like yeah, it's funny. I watched it a couple times like all right. That's enough We'll move on to the next thing Guess we talked about this. Have you ever have your post in a selfie? Do you think like you've taken it? I'm sure I have. Yeah. Like just you though. You just take a picture of yourself and post it
Starting point is 01:27:29 out. I must have. Yeah. Like I'll say yes. But like you have to think about it. Like you've done maybe like if you've done 10, have you done 20? I doubt it. I doubt it. So have you never done it? Have you never been like going out for dinner with Ashley and then you just take a cheeky selfie? It's totally do that. Totally do that. Here's what's right. Here's totally do that. Totally do that. Here's what's right. Here's what's right me crazy now about the culture. Is that people take selfies for literally everything, for everything. Like Barbara went down to Australia to get a picture of the beach.
Starting point is 01:27:55 It's a picture of her, you know, takes a picture of herself. That's selfie, you know, or like somebody says, hey, my hair's on point, you know, or something today. And they take a picture. I expect when I click that, I'm like on the fle is on the flea for flea on flea on flea on what does that mean? I know I keep hearing that okay. There we have flea It's all point what here we are using selfie and we're talking about we don't understand what flea means We're gonna laugh ourselves, but uh when I say when someone says like my hair's on point and there's a picture I expect to click a picture and see the person I totally expect that when someone's like it's cold's cold outside. And then there's a picture. I'm like, click. I'm gonna see snow. Nope. It's a fucking dumb face.
Starting point is 01:28:29 Why is everything a picture of somebody's goddamn face now? They at least like, burrr. Or it's just like them and the wind and they've got this. The same fucking pose that they've established. These are good pose. He's talking about John Ryzen. Well, John Ryzen is one of them, but it's everybody. I mean, I don't want to call anybody out,
Starting point is 01:28:44 because everybody fucking does it. Here's someone we know in respect. Oh, I've that has been annoying me a little bit. Yeah, it's just like look hey, look at this wall of cool stuff and it's the person standing in front of the fucking wall and you can't see the fucking wall of stuff. If you see through my head, you'd be impressed. I don't what is that? Why do why do that's new? Like front facing cameras are Relatively new thing like the last three years No, we had those 10 years we've had front face. No, we haven't had iPhones 10 years They weren't they didn't stop. I find like flip phones had cameras in the front with screens I have a camera that you could take the screen and flip it
Starting point is 01:29:17 I got a selfie from like 2002 on a phone The selfies existed people were taking the mirrors too. I mean people have taken self portraits. A lot of times they're just kind of like just like do it and then they look at it. You know what I mean? But they got to be so prevalent that they made a front facing camera for it. I mean in the history of cinematography there's never been a camera that had two lenses on it pointing in two different directions. That had to be invented so that people could take photos of themselves. Basically. I mean they got probably got a three because of teleconferencing which nobody uses it for everybody just takes fucking photos themselves Oh, there you go. I mean dinner. It's like then there's a picture. You don't even see the fucking dinner anymore You just see their fucking dumb thing
Starting point is 01:29:51 Every fucking time I think a lot of it has to do with like if you're following someone who you admire Like let's say it's the liberty of some sort you don't care if they're posting a picture or something because that could be anybody's picture But when you see them in the picture, but it's not just the liberty to do it Well, I think it's also the expression like emoji is a huge because it's just like a face Selfie is just a very detailed emoji. It's like this is what I'm feeling Bernie got that angry What's he doing? Check out our podcast It's fine guys. You guys are wearing today
Starting point is 01:30:30 Hey everybody look we're having such a great time with the podcast. Thanks for coming to the podcast We did you set this up right before the podcast. He's asking for a walking mic We just This is entertaining. Hey everybody. How are you doing? Put the light closer to your space. It looks like you're in a really bad green screen. I'm looking at the hostage video in a weird way. This is like everything. It's like check it out. I'm at the Rusey podcast set. It's like this would be the photo. This is exactly what you think. Somebody's dumb fucking face blocking what you're doing.
Starting point is 01:30:57 It's cousin proof that you were there. I'm like, I've been in four years. We're gonna be doing all of our podcasts just like this. Where's your just set up face cams? With with each mic we could have a camera right here? I gotta say your skin's looking on point today On- That would be an appropriate use of that thing Man that conversation looking back on it when we were confused about the word selfie It we just look like it is. That's what this podcast is gonna be in the future. It's just like one bunch of a time capsule of dumb
Starting point is 01:31:24 I thought it was called a selfie. I didn't remember thinking this I thought it was gonna selfie because it was taking on a cell phone. I thought it was like Oh I didn't know I just kept calling it a camor Yeah, so so look so that was not that longer that was like that was Three years ago you had to be three years ago Yeah, because the person by the way that told me the term selfie was actually in Australia.
Starting point is 01:31:46 And it was like, that was the case. And then he'd don't. What's that? What? Not listen. She sat on this. But I just I played the part of the rubber booey. That evening. RoboBooie, RoboBooie. So we got our first selfie response here, Zany Wright on a Twitter. Is that his work in the polka? Sent his, I'm watching the podcast photo. That's really very selfie. Ten points. So fast. So fast. Look at it.
Starting point is 01:32:19 It's the Fuji podcast. That's the Fuji podcast right there. I like it. You blocked the rest of the sad face. It just sees your dumb face. Fuck a dumb face and everything. Every time there's a big dumb face. Everything.
Starting point is 01:32:30 So, who do you think takes the most selfies? Oh, I don't know. Everybody does. Oh, people you know. Everybody does it. But we can't like accept that it's a normal thing now. I mean, it's like literally everybody. It's like, it is though.
Starting point is 01:32:41 Here is the space shuttle, my dumb face. And it's like, then there's a white tail fin come out of the back of my head. I mean, that's it. It's like, they're not going to be able to build any like data for what took place for the last five years because it's just people blocked by people's faces. No, but we have enough cameras where you can piece together the missing data and cover people's faces. Like we have enough angles and like sides of pictures with the whole living.
Starting point is 01:33:01 There will be some sort of hat you can wear that does like a 360 degree selfie, and you can like rotate around the person's head. I bet that will. I bet it will be. I tried to do it with a panoramic photo of your face one time. Yeah. I just took a picture like this way.
Starting point is 01:33:14 And then you can put it in a jar with water and it looks like there's a head and... Yeah. It's one of you that one day. Oh, I've seen those. Yeah. We should have that RTX. It might be my favorite screen camera.
Starting point is 01:33:23 I don't know. It is your face. That is the one. That's why I don't think selfies. I took a lot of a lot of dumb selfies with YouTubers the other week. Got with Markiplier and Tom Scott. You and I take a selfie every week. Taking a photo with somebody else though and say hey look I just met Markiplier. If I just saw you like a photo of Markiplier standing there down here a little weird. I would expect to see you and Markiplier and a photo together. Somebody's at the beach, like going, hey, check it out, I look great today in the bikini
Starting point is 01:33:48 or whatever, click and they take a photo themselves at the beach. That seems totally normal to me, you know? Say like, hey, I met Tomska and you're in front of him. What is that with your face? Exactly. What if you're seeing a space shuttle and you're taking a selfie, but it's like next to you,
Starting point is 01:34:01 so you're not actually blocking it? It's just like, it's a slippery slope, Barbara. It is a slippery slope, it's like, what is the you're not actually blocking it. It's a slippery slope Barbara. It is a slippery slope. It's like what is the inclination is always like the face goes in the photo first no matter what it is. Well that's why I started first and then the other thing is always secondary. I'm in the middle of that series I'm doing a series where I go to a landmark and I take a picture with it.
Starting point is 01:34:21 But I'm like way too close to it to be able to see what it is. What's that? That's called everybody's vacation photos ever. I mean, you think you came up with taking photos. No, I'm not like it's a series now. No, but I'm like, no, it's not really close to it. Hey, Gavin, you should do a thing like where when you travel, you take clothes with you. Everybody, you know, instead of buying them like the rest of us do when we show up places,
Starting point is 01:34:41 if you're thinking about that, you can get like a, it's the kind of compartment thing you care about. So what I'm doing has been done already you say. It's been done. No, but I was in the first camera was invented. I've been the first picture. What's the example? An example.
Starting point is 01:34:54 Like I was I was. What's that? Like I was by London Bridge, but I'm like right up against this. You know, I'm a picture of London Bridge. Thank God you took one. I someone visiting London Bridge and taking a picture with it So you're like Yeah, like like by big band, but I'm like up against the door
Starting point is 01:35:12 So you can't tell this big band like his pointless. Oh, okay, I know you talk about that god damn How what why did it take so long? You don't understand what it took you so long to explain it? Why do you want to love me? You missed that you missed that I missed the last part that's actually really funny We see that right too close to them here. I'm a big band. That's actually really funny. He said that makes you close to them. Here I am in big bany's way too close to you can tell you this big man. Did it a bucking and palace? Did the London eye? I'm just like by the support beam of the London eye.
Starting point is 01:35:31 I, Gavin. I apologize. I jumped on you too quickly. That we settled. Happened sometimes. That's a very funny thing. I don't know how to apologize. I want to get the pyramids.
Starting point is 01:35:40 I think it'll be great. Like one bridge. One of the pyramids. It'll be great. Just go take a picture and it's insane. It's funny because people will be be like you didn't go there That was you would have taken a picture of the pyramids. It's like no I did that's the pyramids. That's it. It was really that It's good. You do you take a normal photo as well just to be yeah
Starting point is 01:35:54 I was really that I know We got to wrap up all right we're at time. I want to there's always one thing I want to add before we we go Believe it or not for the first time in maybe Four or five years, we're running low on podcast theme songs. Oh, really? So I have not plugged it in forever. So if you have a theme song you want us to play, send it
Starting point is 01:36:15 to podcast. Send us to podcast.rst.com. There you go. Send us your original 30-second podcast theme. Either attach it or send a link where we can download it. It's much better to attach it if possible, that way we can have it archived and saved. I also want to plug the new shirt we have in store today. It's a new Red versus Blue shirt.
Starting point is 01:36:35 It comes in both men's and women's cut. Ladies, I know we need more shirts. So this is one of them. There it is. That's a good looking shirt. Alright, well thanks for watching everyone. We're back next Monday. I it is. That's a good looking shirt. All right well thanks for watching everyone going back next Monday. I love you. Describe the show to a newcomer in a more familiar way. Do you like apples?
Starting point is 01:37:37 Example. Together in trepid hosts, charmacombs, charmacombs are free of deas of nothing to do with this podcast. Analyze various unsolved and rooster-teeths cryptic podcast. F**k face. Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise specific, but short. Listen to show name on Apple Spotify or wherever you get podcasts. It's f**k face, a podcast.
Starting point is 01:38:01 Subscribe or no. You do yes? a podcast. Subscribe or know. You do yes?

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