Rooster Teeth Podcast - The Bathroom Emergency Test - #776

Episode Date: November 13, 2023

Armando is back from his trip in New York! Listen in as he talks about his multiple encounters with cheese and the tales of his woes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

These side marios all you can eat is all you can munch a soup salad and garlic home This is a mistotive production Welcome to the only show that's walking here. That's right. I'm Armando New York Torres, and joining me as always is me and me too. I didn't know it was happening, and I just instinctively pointed this way. And when you, honestly, when you weren't Andrew, freak me out. I'm kind of fucked up.

I'm still alive. I'm over here. Yeah, how y'all doing? Good, it's good to have you back. Is it really? We miss you. Yeah, no, truly. Not a bit.

Not a bit. Interesting. I was gone for like two weeks or something and when I came back I found out that producer Kai had been, basically her car is totaled. Tyler broke, other producer broke his arm or something. Mike stands are missing pieces, chairs have gone missing. Everything's gone to shit in my absence. Yeah, we didn't know that you were actually

the glue keeping the show together. We thought you were just in the middle. Yeah, yeah. And it's mostly just because of all of the various crimes that I normally commit aren't being committed. Yeah. And they're leading to a butterfly effect of things happening to people around you.

Yeah, exactly. I spent speaking of a butterfly effect of crime. So I spent two weeks in New York, New York City, which was one of the best experiences of my entire life. I've never gone to New York as somebody that wasn't like working. I do stand up. Yeah, of course you're here.

And every other time I've been to New York has been to do shows and sleep on a couch and an apartment where 15 dudes live. Yeah. I can smell it right now. Oh yeah. I'm transported. Yes. And I'm living off of chicken wings and cheap beer. Yeah. I recreated that though by sharing out what you see a full size mattress with another person in the huge pit bull. Yeah. And mostly it's kind of the same. That was true.

I did get the authentic New York immigrant experience that several of my other family members got by sleeping in a one bedroom with just a lot of people. Truly, you got the Helix Ellis Island. Yeah. Truly. You got the helix out Ellis Island. Yeah. You know, it was actually Helixberg before it came. Yeah. Truly an awful experience.

There was a lot of things in New York that I loved and didn't love. Primarily one that like boy, howdy, is this one of the most dog shit sentences I've ever had to say. Okay. pretentious, I guess is what I was going for. Okay. But New York reminds me a lot of Paris in that it's really small and tight cramped and very stinky, very smelly. All the roads are all fucked up and the only way to actually get around is to use the public transport system.

Like that though. Love a public transit. I love the public transit, although what I did not like is, okay, y'all know me. Y'all have been on this podcast. Still same OG. Yeah. Yeah. It's been okay. Still down with OPP. I have been on the hunt for good pizza ever since I moved here. Yeah. And I went to the place that is like known for pizza. Detroit.

Yes. Yeah. And then I took a flight to New York. We just stopped over in Chicago. You need a deeper pie. I ate pizza every single day because good pizza was available like cigarettes on the corner of every street. You could just walk in and a place.

Yeah, you could get a Lucy a single slice of pepperoni at a place called Giovanni's that was actually run by a Jorge. That's right. Just an incredible. That was the other thing that I wanted to talk about too really quick is that every pizza shop I went into was run by Mexicans and I knew that they were Mexican because I don't know if this is a law in New York, but they all wore something that said Hensho and All of this you didn't want you to confuse him with like the other

The key It was it's very funny. The thing all very clearly labeled those. And guess what? Fucking delicious. Delicious. Incredibly incredible. Incredible pizza.

The thing that it did not like is that I am lactose intolerant. So essentially what I would do every single day of my life. I'm not going to the bathroom tour of New York City. It's you as Ethan Hawking first reformed strapping a dynamite best in the body every day. Just like every day of my life, I created a ticking time bomb in my bed and then packed myself into a moving metal tube

that goes underground that is constantly having to make stops and just- Power goes out, they just don't go sometimes. Yeah, oh my God. This train has gone expressing, I'll tell you one thing, there were no stops for the next like, oh, I almost shit my pants once.

Only once. And I told you guys about it that we had gone to a place, a fancy restaurant, and I had eaten an entire bowl of barata, which in- Oh no. which I thought the what is cheese straight up. I thought it was like a porridge. Mundo. The what is cheese? Yeah, it's cheese. It's cheese and heavy cream. It's mozzarella heavy cream and like a little bit of crack pepper. Like if you were to ask bring me the most

lactose thing you have. Like bring me, I'm intolerant, but bring me my greatest enemy. Bring my greatest enemy to the table. The final boss. Can I have my final boss? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Bring me the big bad. Yeah. And then I created a big bad problem in my stomach. And we got on the B train. That's for you, New York heads out there. Hey. Oh.

It's gonna be all week by the way. I got on the beach train and then I don't know what happened, but they just stopped running it. We got, we, the train stopped and they told us to get off and they said, beach trains done. Oh. So we jumped on the tracks for it. I think that's what it might have been.

I think that had to be it. And I was second away from doing it too. I told my partner that we were on Defcon 2. That there was a, the keys in your bot, the two keys had been turned in your body, launch is inevitable. There is no deactivation sequence. It's like E-Lean 2.

Yeah, exactly. It's really the look on her face where really a kin to whoever leaned into George Bush to be like, we gotta get out of here. Yeah, yeah. I know you're reading this story, but there is a second shit that is about to happen. Yeah. And we got out of the subway as quickly as humanly possible, trying to find another subway and we couldn't find one.

And so I had to order a $120 Uber to take me one mile. And I told the Uber driver like, hey man, there's a bad thing going on in my stomach. And he did not speak English but understood enough to go, okay, and then ran three red lights here. I'm just absolutely proud. And I made it in the nick of time. Photo finish.

Oh my God. It was the absolute worst thing that's ever happened. And the worst part was in New York. The worst thing that's ever happened. Yeah. Yeah. The worst explosive thing that's ever happened in New York City. We've actually built a memorial. We talked yesterday about getting out of a bit. I'm calling. I'm calling it right now. Fair enough. The reason that I bring this up is because I've been dating my partner for quite a while. But we had interesting dating history in that like when we met they did not live in Los

Angeles and then they moved to Los Angeles, not for me for other stuff. And then we started dating in earnest and then I moved to Austin, Texas and then they moved to New York City. And so we've been like visiting each other, spending a lot of time together. There was only a couple of months where we really like fully got to see each other every day. I had not had the bathroom panic.

Oh. That was the first time. Was your first time? Yeah, that's the first time. We're in every relationship like everything's good. And then you hit the stage that I call the bathroom panic, which is where you realize that there is a good chance you're about to shit yourself in front of this person that you love dearly. And you're not 100% sure how they're going to handle it. You don't know if they love you enough to handle the experience that with you.

I'm being that moment with you. So you're in a committed relationship. Yeah. If you asked for a squad, why, there was an ask Christian in your yeah. Seriously? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That, what? What am I supposed to say? Let's get a grip and read about it. What am I supposed to say? How am I supposed to say it? Let's get a quick read of that.

How am I supposed to say it? Griff, you're in a committed relationship, right? And then Griff went, I plead the fifth. Yeah. Someone leaned, yeah. Have you ever, have you or your partner ever shit in front of each other? No, but my girlfriend has what you have, but for puking. So I feel like very early on in a relationship,

it was like a vomit comet type situation where I just had to be like, oh, this is my life now and I have accepted it. So, but that's my point exactly is that you see the puk, you see it happening and you go, oh, fuck, I'm gonna have to take care of this person. My life would be so much easier if I didn't have to deal

with somebody else's vomit. And then you make a series of calculations and you go, yeah, I'm in it. Okay, yeah, I'm in it. Yeah, this is life now. I have a very good bellweather, a very good test for relationship, really test the mental relationship.

When you get to see someone, like, has it get to it? Has it get to it? Yeah, basically, it's like, and that's, I feel like that's a real like, you know, test of like, oh, I do love this person because you, you, you, like, disgust doesn't kind of even enter your mind.

It's like, oh, I care for this person so much. I'm sad they feel. Yeah, it's worth pity. It's like, I'm even like, pity it's like, it's like, yeah, putabacito, like, oh, like, not much. It should be me.

It should be me. It should have been me. Oh, you could take the pin with you and put it in me. Dive in front of the barada. Should have taken the barada. I guess what I'm trying to say too is that the reason that a bathroom or emergency feels more like a test

of your relationship is because a vomit, it just happens. Like, we hit, me and my partner have hit the vomit stage both of us where like, they have what your girlfriend has where like they just vomit. Yeah, a bum tummy. Yeah, if they're tummy gets upset. Yeah.

This motherfucker, by the way, told me that when they get too, like hungover, they will force themselves to vomit by eating something gross and then going for a two mile sprint run until they vomit in a trash can on the side of the road to feel better so that they can then go home and fall asleep. And that's how they, like, feel better. Who said this? This is my partner.

This isn't, that's the craziest thing I've ever seen. That's insane bitch. Why doesn't she just drink a warm glass of salty water? They do that. They do that. They drink the salt water. They do the stranded on the fucking high seas on drinking water.

And then go for a two mile sprint run. You're in New York City. Yes. Stomach out several bodies, report another mess. And then vomit and then go home to feel better. So like I've seen the vomit and I've seen the worst of it. They've seen me vomit because I did a show that was called the drunk spelling bee where I drank an entire bottle of tequila and six beers and and six beers and six beers. I think the beers are what put me over the word. I wasn't not my proudest moment. And if it makes you feel any better, they didn't stay inside for very long.

Oh, it doesn't sound like they would. No, I'm revolving door. Yeah, that's one in one out of roll. That's that's like the vomit test is very simple because it's more of like, will I be willing to deal with the grossness and the repercussion? The aftermath. Yeah, the aftermath.

The problem with the bathroom emergency is that it turns into a war room where you pull them and you go, if we don't do something in this amount of time, I will do the grossest thing imaginable. Yes. I will shit my pants as a grown human man. Yeah. And we will have to deal with the aftermarket. And then that is now part two that we will have to deal with.

Yes. And so that's what it becomes is it becomes this thing where you're like, problem solving together and one of you is the most upset you could possibly have with the people. Well, also, I think the difference between like, you know, the, the, the, uh, a, you know, up stairs versus downstairs, bathroom emergency. Like if you're, if you're throwing up

and your partner is having to like take care of you while you're vomiting, chances are, I would say, there's probably like over 50% chance in the 60 to 75% chance range, that it's because one of you is drunk. Yeah, not necessarily that you're going through food poisoning, although the experience is similar, but like, there's also a thing where,

if you're taking some care of someone who is puking because they are drunk, they're hugging the toilet. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I hate feeling like this. I'm so sorry. They were taking care of me. Oh my gosh, give me some more.

So they're barely losing. Yeah. They're kind of in and out. The thing about bathroom emergency, is you're dealing with a completely lucid, like rational person. Almost to their, like almost, yeah, exactly. They are in fight or flight mode.

So they're like, just adrenaline rushing, curting through the fucking room. So you're dealing with a person who was like, completely of sound mind, not a body. Is it not an unsound body? Who has to be like, we have to get to this place? No!

I don't know what you mean by unsound body because my body was making a lot of sounds. None of them were good. The worst part about- My stomach sounds like it's on pots and pans. A dishwasher. The worst part about when we got to the Uber is the driver Catella was upset

and turned off the music. No. And then you could, is upset and turned off the music. No. And then you could we all just turn my stomach up. Like the fucking Clover field. Yeah, it's, uh, you said it exactly right. It's this, it's this thing where you're like dealing with somebody at their absolute worst and there is the threat of like the worst case scenario. It's being in the war room during the fucking Cuban

missile crisis. It's knowing that if something, if action is not taken, everything will literally go to shit. All right, I might as shit my pants. This is a dark day for this nation. And a dark day for my underwear. Absolutely the worst possible thing, especially because I don't know if you guys are like me, but I have, uh, when I have to shit really bad and there isn't a bathroom available.

And I become like, I don't think I have that much shit related emergency. Well, no, because you're staying in fucking places where there's bathrooms. I was in downtown New York City where every place has a sign up on the bathroom that says, no. Some variation of no. Go away. Do you think it was a Trump Tower like the lady on TikTok said? Okay, but I need to bring something up too because I picked you up from the airport last

night. And we like briefly, you briefly mentioned this experience, but something that also, you're lactose intolerant, you ate a bunch of barada. Now, a miracle substance, miracle product lactate. You take that, it creates, it like, it coaches you. Are you bringing this up? It could.

What? You're bringing, I thought that this was stricken from the evidence. Okay, we're introducing you evidence. And introducing the evidence to the case. No, you're on it. Ladies and gentlemen of the jar. I like to present for y'all consideration. The fact that lactate is available,

and our dear friend, Amano here, thought that while he was eating all this pizza over this last two weeks and was taking lactate, that it was him that was getting stronger. Not? Yes, okay. I'm sorry who liked it. I'm sorry who liked it. In case you were unfamiliar.

But with the lactate, the lactose intolerant community. Yeah. There is a pill that exists called lactate that adds the enzyme into your body that allows your body to digest the lactose. It sure can make it. body to digest. You can't make it. Yeah, because my body can't make it yourself. It is technically a drug, but it doesn't feel cool.

Like, I've had friends that have been like, oh, I'm going to pop a molly. And then I have to go, oh, I'm going to drink a milkshake. It's not, yeah, yeah, it's not a good experience. It doesn't feel fun. It's a pill that you have to take and it makes you feel incredibly old and stupid. I have a wonderful partner who bought me a Costco-sized emergency pack of lactate. It was a pillowcase full of lactate. It was like a candy Halloween. It was like Halloween, yeah. And it was just, and what I would do is I went overkill and every time I had anything with daring in it I took about four yeah, about four of them bitches through them in fucking I did and I I got so good at taking

Yes, so you guys are poppin pills because I started doing this thing that I saw in Limitless where I would I would throw the pills in my mouth and then dry swallow them and they go, and swipe my neck so that they went down easier because I didn't have water most of the time. Dry swallow and lactate. Those things are like huge, huge and like swallowing a piece of chalk. Yeah, the chalky. The best part was that everyone who saw me do it thought I was just a badass taking a bunch of like damn that guy is taking a bunch of benzos before he eats it and Yeah, so I took a bunch of lactate and I thought that Foolishly I thought that it wasn't the the miracle drug that I was taking that allowed me to process all of this dairy in my

What's it called my hubris? Yeah allowed me to believe that foolishly my body had gotten stronger and which has gotten a lot of post tolerant. Yes, okay. So the first time in your 27 years in life that just happened stantically. That it was just working out? No, I will say, I will say, I will say, that could happen not here, not in America. I've had people, I've had friends who were extremely

like those intolerant, like go to Italy or France or Europe some shit and be like, I drink raw cow's milk and I've never felt better today in my life. And I think that's because they give their cows the dumb shit that they do. Yeah, so I mean, but the fact that you went to the opposite that you went to the most American place and thought that was gonna happen to you. Yeah, no. Yeah, I mean, but the fact that you went to the opposite that you went to the most American place and thought that was gonna happen

Yeah, no, yeah, I mean We've talked about it a little bit because I want to show the fuck up about it when I went to ballies When I went to belly when I went to France What you pop over to a betha? No, I did not That's stupid and a dumb way to pronounce it Just like it's Milwaukee. I don't know, I just... How old did you pronounce it?

Meaty Wokey? Yeah. It's from England. It's from Wayne's World. Anyway. Yeah. I'm just making fun of the fact that like, this is a joke for nobody. And not even really a joke.

I had an argument with my ex-girlfriend who is from the Midwest who insisted that I was pronouncing things incorrectly because Milwaukee is actually pronounced Milwaukee. It's, I believe an indigenous word that they stole and used for the thing. And the, the impetus for this argument was a place in Illinois called, quote unquote, villa park, which I would pronounce as via park. Yeah. Yeah. Because I speak Spanish and via is a Spanish word. Anyway, it doesn't matter.

Yeah, I decided. Absolutely. I just just pronounced that way. Look, rocks. I decided to stop taking lactate and see if my body could handle it. Fuck it out. No. I decided to do that with a big bowl of cheese. and see if my body could handle it. My body could. Fuck it out. No, I did.

I decided to do that with a big bowl of cheese. With the worst big bowl of cheese, which again, I thought was some kind of Romanian porridge because it was not cold. Okay, in my defense, on the menu was not called barata. Was called something else. It was called at a room.

I don't remember. Millenium K is what it's called. Is for brother Romanian? No! It's like, how would I tell you, why would they have that? That, so you're seeing my point. Not only did I think that the small amount of cheese I would be eating would be fine.

The small amount of dairy that I would be eating would be fine. I was at a Romanian restaurant. I don't think of cheese when I think of Romania. No! I think of villains. I think of Dracool. Yes I think of villains from video games I think of the creatures of the night

What beautiful music they made it sounds like this The grossest joke we've ever done on the show. Oh my god anyway So yeah, I almost ship myself and we became stronger for it. And I showed you guys the text message that I sent. Which was. It was very cute. Yeah, I wanted to, if I don't make it through this. I said, I'm so sorry.

And I cannot understate how much I love and appreciate you in this moment. We have been through something that nothing can prepare you for and we are stronger than ever. Heart emoji, poop emoji, and invite to play cup pong. Which I truly think that I smashed her fucking ass at cup pong too. Well, you smashed her in that, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was fucking great.

And then after I won cup pong, I said I may have almost shook my pants, but you should the bet on that one. Jesus Christ. Really, just. Oh my god. This is your resolve, the entire relationship. Can I tell you about a thing that I haven't stopped thinking of? I'm sorry that this is quickly becoming the New York

episode. No, you just got back. I just sorry that this is quickly becoming the New York episode. No, it just got back. I just got back here. I'm talking about Portland when I got back from Portland. Yeah. We talked about the bisexual tattooed mecca. Yeah, come on. Yeah.

Tell us about New York. I haven't stopped thinking about this. You know the famous song Empire State of Mind. It's the song that I think of. It's a song that was stuck in my head the entire time that I was in New York. Specifically, I kept thinking of the line. I mean, this is a line from everything. If you're unfamiliar with the song, stop this podcast, turn it off, go listen to it. Come back. Don't go mad dude. To me. No, you can't do.

There's a line in the song, I can't remember what the actual lyric is, but it's about this statement that if you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere. You can make it here, you can make it anywhere. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. If you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere else. That does not imply that if you cannot make it in New York, you can still make it anywhere else. That does not imply that if you cannot make it in New York, you can still make it anywhere else. It's just that if you can make it in New York, you also could make it anywhere else. So my thought process is, if I moved to New York and I don't make

it, where do I go? Anywhere. Can you provide a list of places for it? But I can't make it. Yeah. Where do I go? Anywhere. Can you provide a list of places for, but I can't go anywhere. Millowock A. Millowock A. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where you can go. That's where I can go. Well, just step down.

If I can't make it in New York, I probably can't make it in New York. Akron, Ohio. That you could make it in Akron. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Could not make it in Chicago. No, I think you could make in Chicago. You're a similar New York.

I'm a Philly. Philly? Um, would you call it? Shitsburg. Shitsburg Yes. The Shitsburg Squillers.'m a little shits, Billy. Um, what'd you call it? Shitsburg. Shitsburg, you shitsburg, squillers. Yeah, shitsburg, you can make it there. But if you can't make it in shitsburg, you can't make it anywhere. You're a fuck packin' in.

You're a fuck packin' in. You just give up. Yeah, that's a, you, mm-mm. I gotta move to an outskirt. You're not allowed to live. You have to go to a principality, number of cities for you. If you can't make it inch, it's very cute. You get it.

What is it called? It's like a unknown community. You get it? No, no, no, no, no. It's a, that's so, yes. You are correct. But I'm thinking of, what do they call it when like a town isn't even get to be a town?

It's like an unincorporated town. An unincorporated town? Yes, yeah. It's an unincorporated part of a town yet in the city. Yeah, you can't. So so I would say the so when Individuals are cast out of the church. It's called Excommunication when the Pope used to do that to whole towns and it's called interdict Interdict. Yeah, it's got what?

Interdict huh. Yeah, why? Interdict I Interdict. Huh? Yeah. Why? Interdict. Why did they? I in T.E.R.D.I.C.T. I believe, interdict. Yeah. Yeah. Look it up. It's when like a Pope or a guy would be like, what does a city have to do?

To do, to get, because like, I was like, Is it a Solomon Gamora thing? Or has, how was, and sex follow question? How is New York not been interdict? That was exactly what I was gonna say. I spent a lot of time in New York and I saw a lot of things that I would ungodly. Sincere, yeah.

That one out of this, not so exciting. I think Sincere is the biggest. The biggest, as Vegas been interdicted, has been interdicted down. I think the practice of mass excommunication interdict has been largely relegated to the history books. I should bring it back. We should bring it back. I think it was awesome interdict. And Iict has been largely relegated to the history books. We should bring it back. I think it was largely, I think, town for the most part, if I remember this correctly,

I was a really just studies minor, not a major. I believe it was done for the most part because towns would be like, yeah, we're not going to pay the fucking pope. They wouldn't pay it. They didn't want to pay the whole thing. They wouldn't pay it. They wouldn't go. So that's the coolest city to go to. Yeah, for several reasons. Yeah, because they fucking owned. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I heard, when you said it, I had the same thought process as Griff here,

where it was like a Sodom and Gamora situation. Yeah, no, no. Well, like a city did something so unspeakable that like they were just, the God went, no, no no you can't be there the Pope reading a flyer for like Fuck Happers like what what do you think the Pope knows about like full some street fair? Do you think he knows about it? No, why not?

Do you think he knows about it? No! Why not? Because some pope doesn't know anything that's going on. He's a person before he poked up. Yeah, but before he got poked up. Before he got poked up. Damn, don't even poked up. We still have two popes again.

Didn't that happen at some point? At some pope. Uh, no, I don't think we do have two popes anymore, right? Did that happen when, like, one of them, like, quit or died or something? And one guy was like, um, poked up. Like recently? And like the past 20 years. Yeah. Um, do you mean that we had two Pops that were like the same time?

I want to put the pop retires like so not the current Pope that we have but the one before that the uncool the uncool the one that truly looked like a villain let yeah the one that real palpatine asked super palpatine. Um. I think he stepped down. I think he was like, I think he threw. He got to him. Yeah, exactly. I think he tossed the big hat back to,

he was like, that's enough for me. You know, you take this thing. He found out about Folsom Street and then he quit. He went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, Mama Mia. Actually, he was German. He went, the girl. No, he wanted the girl. Yeah, he went mama Mia. Actually, he was German. He went to mind God. Mind God.

Mind God. God. That's the worst of Shostee he's ever seen. Yeah. I think that it would be so much cooler if Catholicism had like Dalai Lama as practices. How so? Well, the Dalai Lama, the whole thing right,

is that reincarnation. Yeah, get a baby. And that the Dalai Lama, the whole thing right, is that reincarnation. Yeah, get a baby. And that the Dalai Lama keeps coming back as new people. The Pope sucks because it's just a position. It's just the open position and you run for it. You can't pay for it. Yeah, you can pay for it.

You can be promoted into it. You get it. And then your Italian grandmother, not my grandmother, but my friend's grandmother will go, I don't really like them because he likes the gays. He's too lenient. He said condoms are okay sometimes. Yeah. Okay.

You just brought something very interesting. I am posing a question to the group. I love this. So the Dalai Lama, the way they like identify the new llamas, they lay out a bunch of things on the ground and you have to pick the thing that belonged to the previous llama to prove that you are like, so what would be the thing that would be yours?

Like if they lay out a bunch of things, what would be your thing? That like, it's like, well, that's clearly belongs to Mondo. That the new Mondo, I, I, the the word is they would have to adapt all of the things because otherwise it would just be like was it this ancient spiritual mere was it his yoga Matt was it a six foot bomb that comes inside of the gas mask it's just a 2D fruity Esco bar. Yeah, absolutely ripped to shit. Recharge the multiple times.

A poor, un-eanchant fan. It's prayer beads. A bottle of lactate pills. Well, unopened. With the note written on it that says, I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that.

I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that.

I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that.

I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. If you were gonna pick one thing that like represented me, it would probably be a pair of Nike quartet shoes. A pair of sick pair of Nike. Yeah, too cold. Too cold. Too fucking clean. Like get a, there we go. Boom, look at that. Look at those things.

What about y'all? Um, hmm. I asked the question, so I griff you the first. Look at those things. What about y'all? I asked the question, so I griff you the first. I guess maybe one of my dumb little hats. One of your dumb little hats would be good, yeah. Dumb little words. I think honestly, I think the like, grail of perfume. Yeah, or like my favorite perfume.

That's what I'm saying, yeah. Like your personal grap. Yeah, or like my favorite perfume. That's what I'm saying. Or your personal grab. Yeah, or just like a silhouette of a woman. Ooh. Ooh. I'm sorry. I got excited because of what's happening. What's that?

Is it like a little postcard? It's like laying on the ground. It's just like a mirror, a fan, a fadass. It's a change of the grab. It's just like a mirror of fan of fat ass. It's a change of the gravity. It's a girl, man, I wanna grab it. I don't see you. Actually, I changed my answer to that. But it's not just about grabbing the ass.

It's how you grab it. Yeah, the baby has to grab it like I would grab it. That's how you know. It's like bend it like back up like grab it like grab it like grab it. Yes. Yeah, hook on there. Yeah. This is not thumb forward. Yeah. It's really good. Yeah, hook on there. Yeah. This is not thumb forward.

Yeah. It's not the thumbs where you're doing it. Yeah. It's about working every part of it. Yeah. But not going inside. No. No one's going to spike it.

No one's going to spike it. No one's going to spike it. No one's going to spike it. Like the cheek lip. Exactly. Exactly. Respectfully. That's my idea.

I get your answer to the fat ass. Fuck it. Yeah. Of course I am. The worst part is that like, okay, this is not funny, but I do think it's interesting so I'm allowing myself to say it. I think that the actual test to see the reincarnation of Griff is to put out a bunch of different types of perfume and smells. Yeah.

And picking the right one with the neck. It has to be the right one. That baby goes for floral. That is not me. I know. No, no, no, no. They pick up the, one of them picks up the fucking, the hair, the parasilton. The parasolums.

Get that fucking baby out of here. The parasolums perfume that I won. Keep crawling, baby. I once won at a carnival. It was one of the prizes that were available and I got it and gave it to my mom as a Mother's Day President and I'll never forget her reaction which was to go, oh, thank you. The softest thank you. And then put it on her nightstand and or not nightstand like the mirror dresser. Yeah dresser. Thank you. Oh, and then put it on her nightstand and or not nightstand like the mirror dresser. Yeah, dresser. Thank you And then it never moved and never got open. It's still there. Yeah, it's covered with yeah, it's still there. She doesn't live there anymore

It's still there. It's still there. It's in the wall. She built she buried it in the fucking wall Yeah, hmm. What's mine? Hmm. What would be my my thing? That's the thing was strewn amongst the items. It's a it's a Brits of the Sims period It's shut up. Don't do that to end through. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no a blanket strone out with a bunch of shirts on it, but you have to pick the shirt that is the perfect blend of professional and slot. And that's the Andrew test. There's because you'll get one shirt that's like a like a cardigan, but it's mesh and you can see nips. And that's two slides.

That's too slow. Yeah. And then you'll see another button up shirt and it's mesh and you can see nips and that's two slides. That's two slides. That's two slides. And then you'll see another button up shirt and it's like a great fit. It's really tailored, but it's Oxford. But then you'll see like professional. And then you'll see a boxy cut, semi-cropped, not all the way. Heavy weight, eight and a half ounce cotton t-shirt.

And that's the Andrew shirt. That's the Andrew shirt baby. That's the Andrew shirt baby. That's the Andrew shirt baby. That's the Andrew shirt baby. And that baby better injury shirt. That's the injury shirt, baby. That's the injury shirt right there. And that baby better pick that shirt. Better pick that shirt. Better pick that shirt, that's not the injury. That shirt, baby.

I don't know. You know what? I mean, it might be my thin gold chain. It's the long of my dad. So in a way, this isn't inherited item. Yeah, that's in gold chain. Mine broke, I don't have it on. Gotta get that chain back, baby. Yeah, my cat baby. You broke, I don't have a non. Gotta get that chain back baby, am I cap?

I'm not cap, baby. Yeah, no, yeah, I'm thinking like, you know, like the non-funny answer is like, oh, like a paintbrush or something. Yeah. Yeah, I like to paint or like maybe like, you know, a good to our pick, boo, lame. I was just terrible answer.

Yeah, so the actual answer for me is like, a fucking an iPhone charger. The thing I've owned the most of in my entire life because I continuously break them. I don't know. I still feel like the Quartet is the real am. I mean, yeah, that's a good. It's very good. Yeah, because you're born to do stand up or deal drugs and that's what that shoes for.

So you can do it in a quartet. Absolutely. There's nothing else. They're too slippery for any kind of sport you can't do anything. Just gripping enough to run from the cops. Yeah. And they squeak on every type of surface too. Look at awesome.

You ever heard a shoe squeak like you're on a basketball court, but you look down. It's a sidewalk. Yeah. Come using it. That's also side note tangent. That's every Nike. Yeah. Why are they so squeaky?

I think they make of them that way because people like the squeak. Yeah, they play basketball. No, but it's every Nike Like every single Nike makes you feel like you're breaking ankles. Yeah, like these are Basketball shoes. They squeak like they are. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think they're waffles I don't know how to get that how to get the squeak is not even a flat surface and you move around and they go Yeah, and you're even a flat surface. And then you move around and they go, to educate you on, not because it's like not my responsibility, but because I am not educated enough to get an information. Essentially, there is some stuff going on right now

where I guess, if I am remembering correctly, China, Gangna, did this thing where, because there are other people that aren't the Dalai Lama that are also reincarnated and come back, they did that with one of those people where the Dalai Lama helped find this person in their reincarnated form,

and then China went, no, no, we don't like that. No, it's this other guy that we found, and everyone was like, huh, no, we don't like that. No, it's this other guy that we found. And everyone was like, huh? Well, what do you mean? I mean, no. How do you think the items? Yeah, we're the ones that, like. We got the rattle and the key and the.

The whole deal is that the Dalai Lama's supposed to help find this guy and they went, no, no, no, no, we're pretty sure it's him. And also the guy that you said it was, we're gonna lock him up for life. Huh? A baby. They locked up a baby? They we're gonna lock them up for life a baby They locked up a baby locked up a well they put a baby in jail I don't think they put them in jail for very long if I'm being completely honest if you catch my drift

Baby jail Fire motor skills and so the harmonica And they picked up the cup in the harmonica just like the previous version. The previous version makes it sound like the Dalai Lama's an update. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You get the you get the Lama DLC. Yeah, I got the Kit Kat grave. My point is that one of the most interesting things that I've heard is that the Dalai Lama. My point is that one of the most interesting things that I've heard is that the Dalai Lama is threatening

currently to not reincarnate. I'm sorry. Yeah. This is some avatars. This is some avatars. If you die in the avatar, state it, ends the cycle. It ends the cycle forever.

The Dalai Lama is so fed up with the politicizing of their role. Yeah. That the Dalai Lama is basically threatening to not reincarnate. And I just think it's, I don't know, I think it's kind of funny. I think it's, it's fucked up. And the reasoning behind it is awful. Yeah.

But it's a little funny that a guy can go like, I'm not going to come back. I won't come back I know you don't want me here and so the next I'm gonna leave the party I'm back This sounds like you don't know Businesses I'm watching the stamp on my hand Exactly that's what I'm saying like it's a weird like okay, sorry, I interrupt I don't know you get You think it's gonna be like when a company's failing

so they put like a woman at the helm so they'll just be a woman next time. They'll be like, see, it's over now. Oh yeah, when, yeah, well like when when companies go down, they'll be like, well we put a woman in charge, maybe that'll fix everything or we can blame it on women when everything goes to shit.

Oh no, that's all 100% through. It's like, yeah, here's, here you go. Maybe you'll be a woman next time. It's like, I know this sounds like we've got opportunity, to sky. It's maybe you'll be a woman next time. It's like I know this sounds like a great opportunity to sky. This is a huge problem that we're gonna blame you for. Disguised is a great opportunity. Absolutely.

Maybe the best case, best example of this is the current thing happening with Twitter or I'm sorry, X where is a woman in charge? Yes. Oh, that's why I don't know anything about Twitter also So the whole this has nothing to do with when he was like sucking on that kids tongue. Oh Yeah, I forgot about that holding shit. It's not the Delhi Lama had an issue in apology because he was like sucking on the kids Which is like was weird. That's a weird thing to do to anyone, especially like, you know, a child.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and then we hear a new tissue podcast will firmly take a stance on that saying, that's weird. We don't suck kids here. Oh, yeah, yeah. Wait, what did you,

I groaned at the thought, but I am 100% behind the scene, but yeah, we don't do that. We don't do that. I wanted to show you a couple pictures of the new Twitter CEO. I'm glad we don't have the eye tracker thing. Yeah.

Oh. I mean, the I see I see her O's. Oh my God. Oh, why don't you go ahead and show Andrew? Yeah, let me see. Yeah.

I mean, when you pass this over here, go ahead and say it for those of you at home. Now, for those of you listening, Andrew's tongue has fallen out of his mouth, rolled across the room. He's stamping his foot very fast and, oops, in his eyes, just bulged out of his head like two telescopes. Boom. Yeah. My head has turned into a steamship whistle and not the one on top of my shoulders.

No, wait, okay, hold a second. Wait, I thought there's, I thought there was an Italian, a lady with an Italian name who was the head of CEO. Yeah, the CEO. The Lina Jacarino. Lina Jacarino. I thought that was the new. That's not real. Is that not her last name? No, no, no, no. Yeah, I briefly turned into a text, Avery Wolf, just the side for just the side. That's not real. Is that not her last name? Is that not? No, no, no.

Yeah, I briefly turned into a text Avery Wolf, just to say for a just to say. Can I see that again? I mean, that's what it looks like. I don't like boobs. I want to preface my statement by saying, I don't get them, I don't understand. What do you mean? I don't get, it's not for me.

Huh? But she's got a nice set. We are through the Rishi podcast, firmly take a stance, pro-boob. I don't care what Griff says, two out of three. We are the Rishi podcast firmly. Take a stance. Pro Boob. I don't care what Griff says. Two out of three. We firmly take the stance. We soft take the stance.

We take, we, we low hang the stance. All, all, we'll take all comers. We say, Betty, take the stance. I like those. Yeah. Yeah, those are fine. Those are cool. If I, if I have to those,

but I'm going to suffer me. This is, I have a, what? You, I just realized what you said is that you don't like, you don't like boobs. No. You're not a big fan of boobs. No.

I've met your girlfriend. I knew you were gonna say that. I knew it, too. I knew that you knew I was gonna say that. Because I gave you the, I fucking, that I have like, what the fuck? What did so have I? Wait a second.

You're a spitting in God's face right now. Saying, you're a girlfriend saying, are you having your girlfriend and saying, I don't like booze on a front to the Lord? Yeah, because I, I'm sorry. I don't, and I need to be very clear here is that like, I love your girlfriend, like a family member

that I also have to be forced to realize has, what's the least distressed, bazungas? Bazungas? Big mommy milkies. Big mommy milkies. Big my ego, A'ulga? I think the term is cans parentheses respectively Yeah, it's the best way to say yeah, those yeah, those yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah got a nice set of yabba. Yeah

What are you doing? Really doing the personality with who's up gay bashing me for like two seconds. I would just love that I don't I don't For me is on my thing about for me it seems to be for everyone else everyone else I've ever met my entire life loves boobies and I'm just like I guess they're fine I don't know it's because I was in breastfed maybe I don't know is it pretty and is it pretty or maybe I couldn't latch because I didn't like them. I don't know. I just I don't know. It's like I guess for everyone listening to the show what we're what Andrew and I are upset about going through the

stages of grief. I'm actually going to go into bargaining. I could just see some boobs. I'd be, please lower the sea. There you go. Oh, I guess. I know. I'm going to accept. I'm going to be now in acceptance. The reason the Andrew and I are upset is because essentially, Griff bought a Ferrari. Yes. Because in her words, I don't know, I like the stereo system. That's the rest. Yes, yes, and precisely. That's the reason why I don't know. Yeah, it goes fast, but it was mostly because I like the shade of blue it comes in.

Yeah. I got this Ferrari because the cup holder is actually fit the cups that I like to drink out. Yeah, well no, because you are upset with the cups. Yeah. Oh, my God. All right. Well, we've done a horrible, awful thing. And you've become aware of the horrible, awful people that we are. But now we're about to make your life just as horrible and awful with some advice. It's time for RT Cares. Yeah. This episode of the RT Podcast is sponsored by Helix Sleep.

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How do I tell her this is objectively the wrong way to digest media? I was like, how can I tell? I cannot tell this lady. she is enjoying stuff raw. I really was dumb broad, had it. Yeah, I did, yeah. Taking median content. Listen, you can say it. I, and we can't.

What a, okay, first of all, I agree, here's the thing. I agree that's insane behavior, but also who fucking cares? Like I come down, I come down, me personally, come down two sides of it. Like if my partner was doing that, like I need to know everything about, like the movie I'm about to watch or the series or whatever it is, like I need to like,

no, so nothing is surprising to me. I'm not like, I don't get a jump scare, I don't get anything, I need to know like every plot point. I'd be like, yeah, I don't want to know that. Literally don't tell me anything about it. I like that's not how I want to consume my media. But like, I also don't like wouldn't prescribe. I wouldn't be like, this is over.

Like I wouldn't end it. That's not a relationship ending like to get to AstroFy and my- Now Andrew's tapped into something essential here. Is that it is? I know that. I won't touch it. I can feel myself going under the bus. I can feel the shadow of the bus looming over me.

Yeah. Is that it is absolutely insane behavior and you should be worried. Because this is the beginning stages of somebody who wants to describe themselves as a fortune teller psychic or medium. But it's not so strange. And this is how they practice.

It's absolutely insane behavior and they should be locked up for, no, I'm just kidding, that's, committed. Awful. Yeah. I, okay. I'm gonna say something that's gonna make you both

kind of hate me, especially because I feel like Griff is on the other side of hating this. You're on the medium side of thinking like, it sucks, but it's fine, what are you gonna do? I understand it from the aspect of like, okay. Sometimes, you know what, perfect example. Recently, I have been watching the Ocean's movies. Ocean's 11, Ocean's 12, Ocean's 8, Ocean's 69,

the Sex Parity, nice. That's when you find out that this person eating you out was in on it all the time. Yeah, that's when you find out that the person eating you out was in on it. Yeah. Yeah. I've been watching the oceans movies and something that the director does Steve what is it Steve sudden bird? Steven stutter. Oh my god. I can't pronounce the name. Steven Soderbergh. Yeah. Well that name. Yeah. That they do in their heist as opposed to like a, as opposed to like an Italian job where the Italian job, everything goes wrong and they adapt.

Oceans heists and all of those movies like Lucky Logan, et cetera, they have this, this element where they are actively hiding information from you as the audience. Yes. Yeah. That they then reveal later. And there's a lot of movies that have this. It's one of the elements of a plot twist. I would argue, not a great element of every...

Yeah. It can be. It's not a twist, it's a lie. Yeah. Because you were holding information. There's really good ways of doing this where like, man, fuck, I... There is gonna be... I'm gonna drop two spoilers for movies that you should have probably already seen or

already know the fucking statue to limitation. Yeah. Over on these things. Fight club. Okay. Yep. Has a plot twist in which they hide information from you or sort of lie about it, but they do it in a way that makes sense when you go back and watch the rest of the movie.

The village, or really most, and the Shumlin' of the past, actively lie to you or hide information in a way that when you go back and watch it, and I'll be honest, even a lot of the oceans movies do this too, where you go back and you watch and you go, well, what the fuck is it even me here? There's no way to possibly know that.

Oh, so everyone was fucking in on it. Cool. So then the stakes that I felt were important earlier in the movie. Are meaning us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I will sometimes it is nice to know what to generally look for in a movie so that when I'm watching it, I can see things get set up. Now, I will agree with you. It's an insane way to watch a movie for the first time. I do like to watch a movie for the first time and then rewatch it knowing how it ended. Sure, sure, sure, sure.

So that you do that. Yeah. But I don't know. I think there is a little bit of value of knowing about something that's happening so that you can sort of watch for it coming, I guess. Sure. I see a little bit of merit in there.

You are fuming off to the side here. You wanna say something? No. Today we've talked about my partner's body. Uh huh. I want to talk about her mind for a second. Yeah. I, she, like a, like a, like a great big boob in the head.

Yeah, yeah, mine is too. Yeah, the mental, the mental tit. I, it is, it's hard for me to be lenient with, I'm really, it's hard for me to be lenient with this, this with this writers with our with this person's wife because And they are married congrats by the way. It's too late. You know this before you locked it down. You're truly in love Because I just I love I love my partner over so much. I She does it's just I'm assuming when his wife does it. Maybe she does it like openly, she does it like,

like, oh, we're gonna watch this movie and she's like, I'm on a couch and I'm like, she's currently looking at the Wikipedia page on her phone. That's how my girlfriend does it. And it, it infuriates me because I know she's doing it. We're sitting next to each other, we're on the bed next to each other, we're on the couch next to each other.

I can see her, she's got, she's got terrible eyes. So when she's on her phone, she has to be this close to her phone. And then when I look at her, seeing her do it, she goes, yeah, like, like, Clotches the phone, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm just like, babe,

were you looking at the, were you looking at the pot? And she's like, no, no, no, I was looking at something else. Can't even come over the like, can't even come over the like, I was looking at something else. And then I'll be like, okay, and then I look at her and she'll be looking at the movie. And then I'll be like, okay, fuck. And then I'll look at her and she'll be looking at the movie.

And then she'll, and then something will happen. And she'll give like an insight that tells me she's already read the entire plot. And I'm like, oh, no, you've already read the entire plot because you're trying to say something like you're setting up for something that we have no idea is happening, yes. Like that, I, and it's one thing where it's like,

some, most of the time I'll be like, whatever, I don't care. This is how you enjoy media, I guess. I guess you don't like whimsy. I guess you don't like things to just happen to you in life. It's everything. I'm the one who's uptight and has a plan everything. But no, you can't just enjoy a piece of media strength.

I just feel like sometimes, if I, I don't know, say, like, hey, maybe this time don't, like if it's like, I don't know say like hey, maybe this time don't like if it's like I don't know a limited eight Episode series on Netflix. That's only gonna be eight episodes and has no follow up and it's a mystery show that we want to watch together Maybe don't go in and read the plot three episodes down the line Okay, you want to be because you want to experience it in real time together And you're already at the end of the series You're already looking at the Wikipedia pages of actors to see what else they're in like so First of all nothing is funnier than no I was looking at

I mean truly like child brain the brain. Like, no literally, like, fuck a chocolate on the face. No, no, no, no, no. A cool later ring around the mouth. No, yes. Something else. Really quick. The two things that I want to point out knowing Gryff's girlfriend is that you mentioned the bad eyesight in the big fucking glasses. Yeah.

I've seen your girlfriend look at stuff on her phone and you can read what's happening. Yeah, the glasses too Is that there's no way that it's at all subtle because again knowing your girlfriend. She's reading the park going oh Or little gas or she'll do this thing We're like we'll watch something and it'll be like two episodes in and then by the time we're watching the third episode She's like on tumblr like looking for fan art and I'm like you're gonna get spoilers Are you looking at spoilers? I'm not looking at spoilers. I'm like you're gonna get spoiled Looking at fan art for a TV show that we've never seen that came out eight months ago. You're gonna get spoiled It's topping. That's so the like tiny gasps the like oh

Like again, here's the thing. That. That. Yeah, it's the, yeah. Yeah, like again, it's not shock, it's recognition. Yeah, as long as I don't see it and all that stuff, he's like, but to like, to the audible gasps, the like reactions to reading ahead and something, that is unhinged behavior. Yeah, that is like, yeah. Yeah, can I ask you, does she do the thing gasp, the like reactions to reading ahead and something, that is unhinged behavior.

That is like, yeah. Can I ask you, does she do the thing where like, okay, it doesn't make sense in the moment, but like right before some big plot point happens, she keeps like looking over it. Yes! Yes! Yes!

She'll look through right through the happy. She won't even be watching the show. She'll be looking for my reaction because she already knows something. It's like, again, it's been 10 years, whatever. It's like, if you're watching Game of Thrones and the red wedding scenes about the happen and your friends are going, uh.

Just like, what's again, you're just trying to, what are you doing? Just what are you fucking doing? What are you doing? Just like the show. Like, looking at you with like, starry glassy eyes, just like waiting for your action. That's so funny.

But it reminds me of a story and it's tangentially related to this. Tangentially related to this, but it's so funny. Steve Sardinberg. Steve Sardinberg. Steve Sardinberg. So,

a couple of my friends in high school saw a sneak preview, a sneak preview of the film, contact with Jody Foster. Now, that movie has like kind of twists and it kind of spoilers in it, but they so they so they they went to see a sneak preview of contact. And then the movie came out in wide release. And a guy that they saw that was sitting a row in front of them at the sneak preview was also at like opening night of the movie.

And was like loudly like guessing like loudly talking about like it's prime numbers. It's probably like. Oh my God. What he wanted to get an A in watching the fucking movie. Like one of the most like pathetic like, like if I had seen, if that guy had recognized me if I was doing that and I recognize the person, like a person from the sneak preview and they knew

that I had already seen the movie. And it's like I would like cease to be. I would just evaporate with embarrassment like to like, yeah, I would, it's out of existence. That's like the satisheet, the fuck, it's so embarrassing. My God.

I once get an A in watching the movie. Yeah, it's incredible. I once got to call out one of my friends for, I realized that sometimes they would share their word of answer. You guys remember word of that game that everyone was obsessed with for like a couple of weeks. And then the writers went on strike

and we, like the newspaper, yeah, went on strike and then we stopped playing it. I had a friend who would share screenshots of like getting their answer right. And we realized in like a group chat that we had, we realized that sometimes the answers would come from like a regular Safari window. And sometimes they would come from private tabs,

almost as if they did it again, to get a better score That for who the point of who that's what I'm saying to impress who that's what I'm saying to get in the whose pants And it was because I was like wow, you know, you know words so good Yeah, it's the same thing where it's like who the fuck are you doing this for my god? What who ever is going to be impressed that you guess that, because even if you're right, even if you're wrong, it doesn't matter.

You're talking during a movie. You're talking about the piece of shit. Like in your mind, was it like, I'm gonna like call my shot and like, oh, those are all prime numbers. Two ladies, like four seats down, but we got fuck that guy. And those four seats, prime numbers.

They're gonna be so roused by my media literacy. Can I tell you guys about a thing that I do? Please. It's kind of fucked up. But very similar to this. I watch a lot of movies. I watch so many movies. I watch so much television.

And my partner is one of those people who did not grow up watching any television. Sure. And constantly doesn't watch movies either. Doesn't not that they don't enjoy them, just didn't do it. So I get to be the shitty partner that shows them good folks. And all of these like real cinema boyfriend

that has movies. All these boyfriend poster movies. Exactly. The ones that you have next to the Bob Marley Black like poster. Yeah. In the case with push pins, not framed. And please, one of the things that like I really enjoy is getting to experience these pieces of media that I love so much through the eyes of somebody that's never seen them before.

Sometimes when I sense that they're getting too comfortable watching something like a horror movie or like they're not in the suspense that I had I will do Reverse jump scares is what I call it where like when there's a really tense moment and I know this character is gonna get out just fine and we're watching it I will subtly like while we're watching it, I will subtly, like while we're holding hands, tens of, yeah. Just like, like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, like I won't say anything, I'll make a gesture. But I'll make little subtle movements, like something really, and then they get like,

what the fuck, what's gonna happen? And then everything's fine. Oh, so you're like gaslighting. Yeah, it's got a little bit, it's got some subtle, gentle gaslighting. So it's the 40 experience of gaslighting. That's like, the partner, it gas. So it's the 4D experience. Gaslight that... That's like the partner. It's being more immersed.

Yeah. Being more attention. Yeah. Yeah, which again, it's fucked up, but it also is something that we think is funny. And now we do sort of as like a meme between the two of us. That's cute. I'm talking about, it's my own personal gaslighting debauch. Yeah.

I think it's really funny. It's just, it gaslighting D-bots. Yeah, I see it. I think it's really funny. It's just goofy as hell. We have not given any advice, but I will say that I think that a good reason why this happens is some people, some people like to know what's gonna happen, some people hate, I mean, obviously,

some people fucking hate surprises. And they hate experiencing things genuinely. It's the same reason why I like, I play video games so that I can roleplay as this person, and I make decisions based off of, at least the first time around when I'm playing a game, I make decisions based off of what I think I would do if I was in that position,

or whatever character that I'm playing. I have friends that play all missions with a game guide. They will watch during a stealth mission, they'll watch people stealth through. So that they can have the perfect playthrough. Or the quote unquote, perfect playthrough. I fucking hate that, because it's like, yeah, maybe I'll fuck up the stealth mission,

but now I gotta go and guns blazing and it feels more real. It feels like there's fucking stakes when I show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I enjoy that. I get why some people don't. I get why some people want to have the like perfect scripted experience or figure out what's going on. I don't love that, but I get why people do it.

I think if you're looking for a solution, I have the perfect one and it's sort of a variation of the thing that I already do to my partner. So what you're gonna do is before you tell them what movie you're gonna watch, you edit the Wikipedia. Yeah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Yeah, the plot and change it to a bunch of shit that's like all wrong. That is so good. Yeah, you know what, you're a chemo. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, if you can't just inspect element and change it on their on their site.

And I think it would be funnier is if you did it consistently like you just use the plot of oceans 11 Every time That is A-hab goes played by Dr. Clooney So they're watching the movie going like that's George What a transformation. He's gonna get an Oscar. Yeah, he looks exactly like Daniel Davis.

So I don't get it. When does Napoleon reveal that he's been in on the polls? Yeah. So that's good advice. I, you know what, I don't have any of it. That's mine. I did the Wikipedia page immediately before watching. Yeah, before I can get corrected.

The genuine one is, the genuine advice is like explain that, you know, you want to experience this thing together. And like maybe start it slow. Like, hey, this is one of my favorite movies. This is one of my favorite shows. Or, hey, I'm really excited about this movie. This show is there any way that we can go into it without checking the plot? Because I want to experience it with you. I want to go through this experience with you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But the real advice is to fucking gaslight your partner and make them not trust you and anything that you have to say by changing the Wikipedia pages to be the plot of Ocean's 11. Yeah. And that's, I think that helps. I think that's just what you have to do. I think that's what you got to do. So yeah. Yeah. All right. Case closed. I invite us to the divorce. Yes. I know that this is not a possibility, but I would love so much if the episode description for this was just a synopsis. She's a levy.

But can you earn a cent? Armando played by George Clooney. Clooney. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do single week, always on. Maybe. What, the, everybody, to always on? I don't know if you've been paying attention, but the news is terrifying. So we went ahead and took some headlines and turned them into punchlines. Today we are doing our world famous Circle joke, is where we have griff in the middle and Andrew and I joke off around her. I like it when you joke off about the new set lunch because they have a happy ending. Oh my god all right jokes jokes jokes I'm going to stop.

I am going to start it. I can't. Yeah. God make that come shirt. Oh man, we absolutely have to. It's like, but the way that we have to do it is it's like one of those old, it's like come and ropes and shoes and yeah, yeah, and hellbentica. White, white lettering on a rope. Oh, white shirt.

White lettering. It's white lettering. White lettering on an off white shirt. Oh, honestly, pretty good. And they all come pre-state. All right, I'm gonna kick us off this way. Let's go, baby. The state of Delaware has banned smoking in vehicles

with children, and this of course is a huge blow to the stepdad community. I mean, what's next? Baning my kid from grabbing me another beer while I'm watching the EGGLES. That's how we stepdad say EGGLES. Oh, folks, talk about a top story. An actual human skull was found in a Florida Thriftstores Halloween section last week. Experts say the skull is likely ancient and not part of a modern crime. The Florida Thrift Store owner is worried the skull has cursed him because he owns

a thrift store in Florida. The worst fate known to man. I feel like everything in that thrift store is potentially part of the crime. I mean, every thrift store, every thrift store in Florida is just a series of exhibit A's. It's also hard when you remember that according to Florida, just a series of exhibit A. This is like, yeah. It's also hard when you remember that according to Florida,

the earth is 2,000 years old. So when they say ancient history, they mean like 1985. And NYPD officer was recorded using a homophobic slur over their police car's speaker. But according to the officer in question, quote, to be fair, I didn't know my megaphone was on. I meant to say it quiet like I normally do.

Well, I can't talk to my son anymore. This, of course, is a huge blow to the stepdad career. Yeah. Oh, there's that segway perfectly into our next story. Speaking of stepdads, the first ever Florida man games are coming to say Augustine celebrating our favorite protagonist of weird news. Some of the Florida man games include beer belly wrestling.

This is not a bit beer belly wrestling evading the cops obstacle course, a catalytic converter and copper pipe swiping really nice. Now third place prize is a carton of cool cigarettes Second place prizes an AR 15 mount for your jet ski and first prize is restored visitation rights So you don't want to get crazy First worst. Yeah, all participants get a free bag of bath salts. Oh My god folks the Texas Rangers won their first world series and fellow Texan baseball team the Houston Astros have issued the following I'm going to shut up. Go Dodgers!

Here we go. For anyone listening, by the way, I picked up a trash can and started banging on it. If that joke doesn't make sense to you, tweet it, Eric Bedouard to ask him to explain. All right, this is our final story of the evening. 80 species of birds in North America will be renamed to avoid harmful historical references to problematic people. Some of the birds that will be renamed are the Wilson's Warbler, the Audubon Shearwater, and the Bin Laden Tower Packer. Why did we why did we divide it fuck oh

Oh They put that one out right Right huh it is now up to you to pick a winner. Oh geez I'm gonna give it the answer First the bird joke the the homophobic cop is a second close though. Yeah, close second close second Because again what I'm not supposed to talk to myself The homophobic cop is the second close though. Yeah. Close second. Close second. Because again, what am I supposed to talk to myself? Yeah.

I can't. By the way, that cop, if they get fired, can definitely work security for the Florida man on the roof. Oh, awesome. Oh, awesome. All right, folks. Thank you so much for joining us.

I've been Armando. I've been Andrew. And I've been having a good time. I love to hear it. We will see you next week. Bye. Bye.