Rooster Teeth Podcast - The Blame Game - #394

Episode Date: September 20, 2016

RT Discusses Shifting Responsibility Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers, Will Arnett and Anthony Mackie comes the new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motor-mouthed outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church, twisted metal, streaming now now only on peacock Hello everyone welcome to the podcast this week brought to you by audible nature box and trunk club I forgot my trunk. I've got a trunk in my office. I'm going to show you guys Well, someone will get it and we'll show it to you guys later. Thanks for our sponsors. We're sponsored. Get someone good in my office and get the trunk. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'm Gavin. I'm Brandon. I'm Blaine. I'm Gus. I was looking at the wrong camera. Dude, we got no bunny or bobra. Bernie B team. Yeah.

I'm literally B's. As soon as Bernie is taller that I was like on the podcast. He's like, well, who's that at town? That was like on the podcast. She's like well who's that town? That was my dad's reaction the other day. Oh, yeah, well Bernie is making out is normally a very unreliable person But when it comes to the podcast he's always like he's always here He was supposed to be here today and then canceled at the last minute. So blame your replacement I'm sorry, I came in he wanted to stay in LA. Yeah, I Yeah, I guess he's still over there with all of his fucking Hollywood Emmy friends. Emmys?

I actually went out to the premiere, or he was like the cast and crew premiere of the show that they were on. Amazing race. Very good. And afterwards, they're all like going to go hang out and go to a bar and stuff like that. And I just like, Bernie was amongst his friends and I just like, I totally felt like a scale below those guys. Like they're all pretty and beautiful

and they're all hanging out. And I was just like, I'm gonna go over. Yeah, cuz you're a hideous plane. You're a real, you're so honest. We've been talking about it. Yeah, okay. You need to help. So.

You should go to the gym. After we get in shape. Uh, you can help him out, Brandon. So you know what? You just left? I mean, I was just kind of there and then, well, I had like LA lady friends that I could go hang out with. I was like, I'm just going back out, you know. So whenever you go to LA, do you have like a list of women in LA who you can see?

No, I'll go for them. Oh, yeah. Negapuse. So no. Hmm. Used to. I mean, you still got it then. You still got the list. Yeah, but I'm not

Dick so yeah, but you got a dick. It'd be kind of true. It'd be pretty rude to go to LA not see you go for an S. It's like a different girl. She doesn't sound just okay. Yeah, so then it would it would make total sense to not see you Crawford and that would be a totally acceptable thing to do. Oh look at this. Thank you so much. Hey, that's a trunk. Oh god, it's heavy. I'll show it off later. Err, when you pick it up, I'll see if it's ever done.

Later, later. Sorry. Blaine, why does everything like devolve into like feats of strength with you? Because that's all I know. I have no personality. Can you stand on your hands? Can I stand on my hands? Yeah.

I don't really have good balance for you on try. I mean, sure, why not? You can try. I feel like strong people can hold their own weight upside down. Talk. Did you see? While I'm doing this. Yeah, I'm going to talk about doing it.

Do you see the gif of that woman who was like stretching to some weird yoga pose, but she was doing a handstand essentially, and her legs were curled up back over behind her head. And she did like a push up like that. Oh my god. I cannot imagine the amount of strength and she did like a push up like that. Oh my God. I cannot imagine the amount of strength you have to have in order to do that and balance even. You're not getting too, you're too this, you're gonna be more than this.

I saw, I saw, I saw, I saw a video of Brandon taking over. All right, no, Brandon, you do it, Brandon. A video that is available for the company. One of the women who completed the Ninja Warrior course, she did a back flip on the red carpet The I mean that was fucking amazing Branden what are you doing Look at those arms wait wait wait you got to leave him balanced and then let go balanced and then let go. All right, what am I gonna let go?

Just now. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! All right, so I didn't work ever well. What do you wanna do? Let's try to balance.

I don't have a good balance. Ah! So I guess you just, you never focus on like, any kind of balance stuff. I went to the doctor fairly recently and like, I was like for like a nanophysical, doing like blood work and stuff and, I won't point, huh? Finger in the butt? No, no finger in the butt, I'm like for like a nanophysical doing like blood work and stuff and

I want to point, huh? Finger in the butt? No, no finger in the butt. I'm not that old yet. But at one point the doctor looks me and goes, how good's your balance? Like, oh, it's good. It's good. He goes, what's he, uh, starting one leg for me? I was like, yeah, sure. Right away. And like, I stood on one leg. He's like, I put your leg out. I was like, oh, shit. Like, I was having a lot of trouble.

I was like, what the fuck is like, my balance supposed to be really good. He's, yeah. It happens when you get older here the fluid in your inner ear becomes more solid and your balance isn't as good I was like what the fuck? He destroyed me. He could have told you that instead of putting it to the next existential craze I guess you should do some like balance exercises try to see if you can keep maintain your balance for as long as you can I was like I'm really depressed now Is it for your health? Like, do you have to get better,

or is he just being like your old asshole? Maybe she's just gonna remind me that I'm old and I fucking take better care of myself. How do I just shoot more fluid into your ear? There should be like some kind of replace from your brain. I feel like every time if it evaporates, just put more in like a car.

Or just like take the old one out. Like you get your car oil change and get your ear oil changed. Doctors, what's he concerned about though? Is he concerned that you're gonna be walking and just fall over? Maybe. Well now you're aware of it, so you're probably gonna full more. Coming down the stairs like, ooh.

I almost ate shit outside the bungalow the other day. On the wooden steps? Absolutely no reason. On one of the steps, just my foot, my shoe, just slipped out from under me. And I reached out with my lift arm, you know, there's that little fence right there. And I caught myself. And if I hadn't caught myself arm, you know, there's that little fence right there. And I caught myself.

Now, if I hadn't caught myself, my head would have just gone right back onto the steps. Was anybody there to witness it? No, nobody was there. But I felt so awesome after I caught myself. Like I just shot my arm out and like stopped myself mid fall. I was like, that was pretty awesome. But nobody saw.

Nobody saw. I saw Alan each shit the other day. Alan Muhammad. Yeah. He always falls down. He like cut his arm. He's like, he had it. He's so fun. He always falls down. He cut his arm. He had a meeting in the bungalow and we were leaving and he's got that stupid razor scooter and he got on it and I was like, oh, you look really cool Alan.

And he started scootering away and he hit his front wheel on the scooter, hit a pothole and he fell face first and he was like, he skidded on his face in the parking lot and I was like oh my god are you okay? And he rolled over and he's like yes, the worst part is you just told me how cool I look on the scooter. He's like an immediately face plant. That is awesome. I think the coolest thing I ever done, I ever done, I ever did was there were two dudes

about to push me into a swim pool. We've been like chucking each other in the pool all day. And we were like scrapping like we're trying to push each other in. And they both push me like really hard. And I reached, I was like over the water. I reached back and I grabbed them both like by the, and they were in t-shirts, I grabbed their t-shirts. And I hung over the pool. And then I pulled back and I swung them both in and I was still outside the pool.

You saw that! You saw that! Wow! It was like a pendulum. I came back and they went in. It was like a video you had gone break or something. Yeah, it was. It was a bag of the... It was awesome.

That was like one of the best moments in my life. It's all been downhill since then. It's probably 12. I love this moment, Sydney. You always have to just play it off cool because the second that you're like, What? And then it's not cool. I mean, nobody's there for it,

but whenever you're taking a shower, you're washing your mouth, and you're like soap slips, and you just like catch it, and then you just go back. It'd be so cool if you could kind of theater mode your life once you were done, once you're in your deathbed, just cut together with your best moments that no one has ever seen,

because no one was filming it. It'd be awesome. I remember there's one time some kids were playing kickball and I was walking by the base and some kid just kicked the, you know, that bouncy, bouncy kickball. And he was about to kickball. I stunk, I can't talk today.

I stuck my arm out and just like stopped it, right at this place and everybody saw it and they're like, oh, whoa, like it looked really cool. And I felt really cool, but I swear to God, I tore my shoulder and my hand was on fire. And I was like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah? You don't have work? No, I went back, I had a location scout today and then I went back to my apartment to shower for the podcast.

I had like three hours of sleep last night. What happened? Shack? Yeah, I had to drop my girlfriend off of the airport this morning, like 5.30 a.m. too, so. Just run off fumes here. Yeah. Cool.

Oh glad you're here, Blaine. Thank you so much. I think I have those same socks, except you have some napkins over there for you. Oh, thanks. I have those same socks that you have on Blaine, except mine are red. Man, Blaine, you're having no luck today.

What was the coolest thing you've done, Brennan? That nobody saw or nobody, or people did see, but it wasn't on camera. I don't think I've ever done anything cool, Galley. Really? You haven't done something, been like, that was awesome. No. I think there's, I've had done anything cool, Galley. You haven't done something like, that was awesome. No.

I think there's a, I've had a very unremarkable life. I kicked a football into a basketball goal. That was a really fucking far away one. 20 points to that count four. Is that four? I think I told the story of the hole in the cliff before on the Puckas, you went on it. That was this hole.

I was on holiday, right? Every year we used to go. Vacation. That was a vacation. Island,, I was on holiday, right? Every year we used to go. Vacation. That was a vacation. Island called Tenerife, right by Africa. Okay, area island. Side of the worst craft disaster ever. Yep, two planes hit each other.

Everyone dead. There's a cliff. I was an involved in the plane crash. That was in the 80s. Gotcha. There was a beach. And there were two cliff walls. Like a tiny crappy beach.

There's pebbles. Nobody was really there. But me and all the friends who I saw every year, we just go down there and like shoot the shit, hang out. And we noticed there was this hole in the side of the cliff, like way up, like almost a hundred feet up probably. And we'd always try and throw a stone in this hole.

And we would just do it, like as we were hanging out, just somewhere throw a stone and then nothing would happen for 20 minutes, so we'd try, this probably went on for about four years. And then one year we were like, we've got to get a stone in this hole. How big is this hole? It was probably like this way up, like pretty crappy odds. Yeah.

And then we just like suddenly focused on this hole. Everyone was going like people were throwing like probably 20 stones missing. I found a chair, plastic chair that had been dumped on the beach. I snapped the leg off. And the way it was, the chair kind of came up like this into a curve. And no highlight has the sport we like, yeah. So I just eyed it up and I was like, I'm gonna get it.

I'm gonna get it. I put a stone in the chair and I just went, and it just sailed straight into the hole. And everyone was just like, it was like, it was the coolest moment of my life. Like just when I almost got pushed into the hole. And everyone was just like, ah, it was like, it was the coolest moment of my life. Like just when I almost got pushed into the pool. I'd like to do a cheer for you and then they moved on like 15 seconds later.

And there was a girl there that I really liked. Yeah, she was. She was super impressed. She was loving. Yeah, she was like a bunch of bats just like shoving down like, and she started taking her group. I'd probably hit a bird's nest.

Some birds like, I got the perfect place. No birds would, you're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. I'm like, you're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy.

You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy.

You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. You're a met her. She was like at RTX a few, a couple of years ago, and she was like, as you would say, very top, really cute girl.

And I just- Would you ever describe a girl as top? Yeah. Well, I do say someone looks top. Okay. I wouldn't say she is top unless I knew her and she was top. Seems like you would describe an inanimate object as top. Now, people can be top.

Oh, that guy's top. Sorry, Blank. It seems like you would describe an animate object at the top. Now people can be top. Oh, that guy's top. Sorry, boy. It's all right. This is this one girl that I just kept fucking up. Everything I would try to do that was cool. We would just completely fall flat. That was right around the time I got my Jeep and I had only driven manual a few times.

Did you get a Jeep for her? No, I've always wanted a Jeep. But every time she was in the car car even when I knew how to drive Manual I stalled the car Every fucking time I look like the biggest bitch and she was like do you mind if I drive like my dad's a mechanic I go for it. She was just like She's like perfectly operating it and I just look like an idiot. There's a bunch of other shit She's had your her your balls like in her hands. Did that make you like a molder?

Yeah, I was like, ah, she's but she's cool and then I she can drive. Oh No, the fact that she just showed me up at something. I'm super like my current girlfriend Incredible video games and she just kicks my ass everything. I was like I'm like one of the best Mario part Mario Kart players in the office And so for a while I was and she just beat me. What's your favorite Mario Kart? With like iteration of it. I'm really good at the DS version. There's three DS version. That's the one that we played it for a while. The one in the arcade is amazing. I'm gonna play that one. Isn't that a very double dash?

I have no idea. I don't like that one because they have one in a couple of bars in Austin but there's like they have items that they don't have in the game that are like really fucking stupid. I can't think of the top of my head what they are, but they're like really shitty items. Here's a horn or something. Wasn't Double Dash a tad? I did not, people like Double Dash. I did not personally like Double Dash.

What was it on GameCube? Yeah, it was a GameCube one. Oh, it was the one where someone was behind you, you guys swapped. Pants the double dash. Oh was it on game keep? Yeah, it was a game keep one. Oh, it was when we were someone was behind you You guys swapped hence the Oh, yeah, I remember that. Yeah, that was like where baby Mario is introduced I think I like to see Mario just before that. Yeah, canonically, baby Mario existed before that God We're talking canonically Oh, hey speaking of Mario. Yeah, can we talk about what a shit fest iOS 10 is? What Gus it's great.

You can put Mario's face over all your text messages. For only $3.99. The Mario stickers are free. I don't understand the segue. I didn't have an update in my case. There's like, you can get Mario stickers and place them into text messaging now. You didn't have an update yet.

You just going update it. What do you mean? I haven't done it yet. Let me show you what a conversation can look like now. Okay. Wait, is this an apple? No, I'm just showing you. I'm just showing you. No, this is just in messages. It's covering the text.

Yes. Why? Anyway, you're making fun of it. You can write stuff? Nope. I mean, that's kind of... Oh, there you go. They've got an example here. So they're trying to make it more like Apple Watchy, I guess? Sir, it's a time. That was awful.

That was a time where I think Johnny Ive took over all of the way the software looked, because he was very hard-wren. And he was like, I'm going to get involved with iOS. Yeah, they've striped it. They've striped everything. They fired the green felt guy. Right. I like that guy.

Yeah, yeah. So they, like they like unified everything made it look pretty sleek I don't think it was like iOS 7 or something Yeah, everything was like translucent and It's probably I like that update. It was nice. It's garbage now like where where did Johnny I've got let me Wouldn't like this let me tell you how much further worse it is bling there is an i-message app store And i-message app store. An iMessage App Store? Or you can go to buy stickers and other stupid things. There's already an App Store.

No, this is not there. You got to go somewhere totally different to get to this one. I guarantee you, and it's, you press the text field, it slides out. Then you go to the stickers. And then you got to hit the little fourth thing and the lower left. That's a little more shit. I don't like, and I don't, you got it, no, you got to hit the little fourth thing and the lower left, that little four shit. I don't like, and I don't, the new iPhone, like I think you made a tweet about it

and like it was like, oh, it was like the topical thing make from the new iPhone and stuff like that. I hadn't really didn't see the press conference or whatever, didn't really look into it. And then one day I sat down and looked at the specifications and all that and it was like, this is absolutely, it's just shit. It's like, it's not good.

Like the, the removing the headphone jack, I get that they're trying to push Bluetooth, but it's like, say It's like it's not good. Like the removing the headphone jack I get that they're trying to push Bluetooth, but it's like say you wanted to listen to your iPhone like you're charging it or something You can't do that. When's the last time you get a feeling Bluetooth? What listen to my phone? Oh, like on the airplanes all the time I do all the time with planes. Yeah, they they kill Bluetooth Like they invented their own version of Bluetooth that they're going to have like other companies license. That's just better. Bluetooth sucks. Yeah, just Bluetooth 5, though. Yeah, the new version of Bluetooth is fine. They just keep upgrading Bluetooth. I thought they created like their own protocol. No, it's Bluetooth. Yeah, I mean, I know they have their own chip in the... Yeah, the W1. Yeah, that like increases what it can do. I'm pretty sure I need Bluetooth.

Yeah, I'll connect to my Bluetooth headset fine. No, I know the Bluetooth works, but I thought they... Fuck, fuck you guys, then. I was getting... I think it's a great thing. I mean, if they can get rid of the CD drive, they can get rid of a headphone jack, which is like... I'm totally happy.

I've got the new iPhone. I'm totally happy with it. Right, great phone. You see right now? Yeah, you see? Yeah. There was a... You see what it was about the camera? You know how to use great phone. You ever run your own? Yeah, go see it. Yeah. Yeah. There was a...

Let's see what's up with the camera. You know how to use the phone. There was like a how-to video I saw online where someone showed you how to add a 3.5 millimeter headphone jack to a iPhone 7. And all he did was he just got a drill with a 3.5 millimeter bit. And then drills it where the headphone jack should be

and he plugs in headphones like, look, you can plug your headphones in now. So did he drill right through the haptic engine? I don't know, the phone still turned on. You can see the screen and it looked like it worked but who knows what he damaged when he did that? You make fun of the store, like all the stickers. I guarantee you that's how they get a ton of users

to upgrade their phone, like the OS. Like I remember Paula, one of the biggest reasons she updated the last time was because of a whole new emoji pack. Like this is, I'm scared to use any of that new stuff with people who I don't know if they have iOS 10. All right, because it just shows up a weird, it makes it like a weirdo. Yeah, it's like a black box or. Yeah, or if you do that thing where you hold down on a message and you can put two exclamation points on it.

Oh, right, yeah. If you want, tap text. Yeah, that comes through as like liked, and then the message will be... And it puts pressure on them to update, I'm telling you. Oh, this is, whoa, is this a new way of like sending text messages or read or anything? You can like text messages essentially.

Hey, send me a text and I'll do something to it and I want you to tell me what it comes out of. So the thing that I don't like about the new iOS is that sometimes I don't want to use Touch ID. I just want to go straight to my code. Before, I would just swipe to the right and I typed the code in. Now, that doesn't get you to the code, you have to wait for Touch ID to mess up and fail. How many times does it have to fail?

Is it just once? I don't know how many times, it's just annoying. I want to get, sometimes my hands are wet. No, no, I get your, I'm just like a cat bit my thumb off and it doesn't work with touch ID anymore. Well, it's all you put all your other fingers on there. You get all 10 fingers covered. I try my nibble and I think my dick head

or my bell end as you will call. Is there enough detail on the tip of your peen there? I mean your eye, I'm sure your eyes are all different. So I'm gonna keep your eye hole that you pee out of. I call it a thug eye. It's just what it came off the tongue just now. Yeah, you threw it eye, I don't know. Does anybody call it that?

The urethra, the, the, you're a fucking weirdo. The mean cyclopsis. So I held down on the message and, you're a fucking weird old guy. The monster, the mean cyclops, so I held down on the message and I put a little ha ha on it. What I have to add suck but. Yeah, see, it makes me feel like that. But for me, it just looks like that, little ha ha.

So Bernie used for the longest time read receipts, which I used to fucking hate. Because it's like, I would send a text and I would see that he'd read it and wouldn't respond. And it's depressing. Yeah, and it's just like, would send a text and I would see that he'd read it, he wouldn't respond. And it's depressing. Yeah, and it's just like, you had the text, you've read the text, responded the text,

but I realized that in itself was its own text message. It's like he's acknowledging what I write, so I turn on reader seats and I fucking love it. But this is like a new shitty thing, kind of like reader seats where it's just gonna like add another layer to texting that I just don't really like Texting just needs to be straight forward and simple. Yeah, it's not for you guys Who's it for Brandon? It's for like millennials. Yeah, no who I guess we're millennials. Yeah, aren't you in that category?

No, no, no, no, no like it's for people between the ages who are just getting cell phones now Like I guess how old are you when you get a cell phone now like 12? 10 yeah, I was kind of for to fucking iPhones Just getting cell phones now, like I guess how old are you when you get a cell phone now, like 12, 10? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but their parents get it for them because they have an iPad. It's basically for like that generation, like between 12 and maybe 18, 16,

is to get them into the phone. It's not for us. I feel like millennials is, there's too much difference within that generation. It's a big, like I'm a millennial. Okay. But the younger millennial millennials They're totally different. Hmm. I wish there was another name for them because I always see some shitty thing for instance I was at Mount Baneu with my girlfriend a super romantic moment

We're working out. You know, you know, you know, Blaine had a girlfriend Yeah, I knew that okay. We've been dating for like seven months. We're just Fuck you. Uh, anyway, so we're watching the sunset, really nice moments, stuff like that. And then I hear this tinny fucking shitty music playing, and then I look over, and it was like, it was like exactly what old people see our generation as I'm sure,

because it was just a bunch of kids literally taking selfies, and their flash was just going off, and the sun was setting, and they were over there taking pictures and it just sounded like such an old dude. I know, I wanted to throw rocks at them. Why? Because they were so obnoxious.

What a way to do it. You snap off the leg of a chair, right? You place the rock and swing it. I'm like that. No, it's just rude. Like they were favoring technology over enjoying nature. That's like one thing that Barbara and I learned and that connected doc was that like we're missing moments every day

because I've never missed it though. I can look at a sunset and be like, that is a nice sunset. Now I'm gonna take a picture of it. I've had both experiences. Now I can remember it in picture form. I can still see it in real life. But I don't ever ever see a picture form.

No, that's the thing that gets me is how diluted and shitty the experience is for most people when they use like Camera phone. Oh speaking and I think most people with cameras don't know how to use them Oh, that's absolutely true. I was walking down the street the other day. I was in New York last weekend I was walking down the street God damn it. And it was like dust like the sun had just set so it was dark This woman I was walking kind of past Times Square and this woman was walking in the opposite direction of me on the sidewalk. And I, I don't know what she saw behind me.

There's something she wanted to take a picture of. So without stopping, she like, gets out her SLR, puts it up to her eye, the flash comes out. She takes a flash photo in the middle of the street. That's not coming. I don't know what you were looking, but you know, that photo is not coming out. I don't know what it was. You were trying to get a photo of? You didn't get it. The flash didn't reach it. The flash didn't reach it. You didn't even stop to try to take the photo. You mid-step used a flash, like, no, that photo is me doing this. I'm sure, even with DSLRs, I'm sure over 50% of people

don't know what aperture shot a speed ISO. And, yeah, let's put it on auto, take a photo. At that point, and that's fine, there's nothing wrong with that, but at that point your mobile phone probably does a better job Like of taking a photo. Yeah, and a $700 camera with a $30 lens Again, your phone probably looks better has a better picture just because it's easier. You don't have to look up with it Right like you don't have to set all these better than those like stock like you know Lenses that cameras come with're like plastic. Yeah, yeah

I Just sure my sister asked me to bring My DSLR her daughter was having her second breath my niece is having her second birthday party And I was out there taking it was fun like I think I might get a like a this is like super nice super fancy cameras But expensive yeah, they're fucking expensive. I felt really creepy though, because there was a bunch of little girls there

and I was taking pictures of all of them. But my sister told me too, so it was okay. Anyways, how are you guys doing? What's in the box? All of them, like each one of them, like you take them aside and I smashed my DSLR there the other day. Why? Oh, the one that you found on the wall.

Oh, I saw you take the photo of it. Yeah, like I've dropped that thing a lot. It's bounced around, it's full of it, blue over it. It's got paint on it. It's been exploded one with paint. Yeah. I, uh, It was really dumb, it was like a lameless way, I could break it.

The lights were off in my office, and it was just on the tripod, just really low on the floor. I just kicked it over. Oh. And it just smashed like the very top of the cannon logo off. Still fine. But now where the flash sits is like, there's a hole. Yeah. It keeps stuffing there now.

Hmm. Yeah, I wanna read this here. Read the thing. What I'm wondering, this episode of the podcast is brought to you by trunk club. Shopping is frustrating, wondering from store to store, only to find clothes that are ill-fitting or not what you're looking for. Skip it all with trunk club.

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Get started today at trunkclub.com slash rooster teeth. That's trunkclub.com slash rooster teeth. And actually have a trunk here. I just opened it, have not looked at the clothes in here yet. But you'll see what it looks like. Ooh, what is this? We're gonna do this. This is a jacket.

Oh, put that on. Oh my gosh. I'm gonna try it on. There's some shirts here. Go through the shirts. Can I have a shirt? No. Okay.

I mean, if you pay me for it, you can have the shirt. Oh, they probably wouldn't fit you. There's a for me. I like the little bow. It's very nice. Yeah, nice. Is it like an evening jacket? It's a fisticated.

Blaine, I think this is a fisticated. Oh, it's a fisticated. Is it inside? It's large. Ooh, the putper is nice. Ooh, fancy smoking jacket. Ooh, puttbury. It's nice. Fancy smoking jacket. Hey, who's that fancy boy? Oh, where's the rest of the podcast? It's a keeper. Can I really take these home? No, you can't.

Yeah, you never offered. I'm gonna pay for that. It is my actual trunk. If you keep that, I have to pay for it. You don't get it for free? No. I use the service. I believe in our sponsor, Gavin. It is my actual trunk, like if you keep that, I have to pay for it. You don't get it for free? No. I use the service. I believe in our sponsor, Gavin. So I got a belt also and some coal-hound shoes. This is really smooth. I just assumed that everything that sponsors the podcast,

you get for free. Oh, as do I. I feel a solstice is. Yep. Yeah, I can imagine this on, guys. There's not bad on my keepy shoes. I might keep these shoes. So Gavin, oh, sorry, where you don't know,

yeah, give me a false. Jesus Christ. So Gavin, you were on set. What happened? We dropped the ball. What are we doing? What's that ball? I know what you're getting up to get it.

They're not behind some like endless hole the right behind the couch. So Gavin. So we got it. So we got it. Yeah. We're not gonna name names. Okay. Or give any sort of descriptions,

even say which episode or anything like that. But do you remember on the set of million dollars but where there's this guy that was going around taking photos of people? Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, yeah, yeah, like, yeah. I know, I know exactly what you're talking about. So that was like, what was your experience like with that? Because so basically there was a guy, and I don't know if you've worked with him, but I think he's like a local Austin actor. But there's this guy that comes to set,

and apparently I think it's this thing, but he brings his digital camera, and he grows around and he takes pictures of everybody on set. He'll be like, hey, can I take a picture of you? And you'd be like, sure, and he takes a picture of you. He didn't ask me that. He just did it. Well, I was, I think my he takes a picture of you. He didn't ask me that. He just did it. Well, I was, I think my cool time was way later than everyone else.

So I got there and he was like, have I taken a picture of you yet? And I was like, no, I just assumed he was taking a picture for like continuity. Yeah, a wardrobe or something. So he took one of me. And then he just take a picture of everyone. He's like, what's your email address?

I'll send it to you. I was like, I don't want it. That's a picture of me. I got a list of lists. So I was the one don't want it. That's a picture of me. I don't like this. So I was the one guy that didn't let him take a photo of me. You said no. And everybody was like, you're gonna get murdered later. But the guy was like, Blaine, can I take a picture of you?

And I was like, I'm sorry, I'm like really busy right now. Like, I don't see you in the middle of directing and telling things where things were going. And he kept coming up to me that day and asking if he could take my photo. And I was like, just like, no. No, because then it became this thing of like, I'm just now principal. Yeah, it's the principal of it. It's like I'm not comfortable with this guy taking photos of me.

You know everyone else's photo is on a wall in his house with a sign that says, we'll not murder these people. And in mine is like a behind the, a bush shot. He's a kill this guy. That was a strange man. It was. he was very weird But I mean it's not like he's taking anything from me by taking a picture. It's just like yeah, yeah, you're soul No, my soul's not in there. It's just some bother you if he's gonna do something weird with it

No, we're gonna find a picture of me online, right? What's he gonna do? Yeah, but he took this one is like more It doesn't matter. It's matter. Just take the's fine. It just, it seemed kind of serial killer-y to me. I think there's another, there's I think someone in working wardrobe refused. She's like, no, I'm not comfortable with that. And he's like, it's just a picture, she's like, no. I don't know. It's really bad.

His memory's really bad and he wants to remember everyone. He's ever watched. Oh no, I feel like. It's like a momentum type thing. He's that compiling, oh he's like, that was a great day. Who was the director? That man. Only I can remember. I's that compiling, oh, he's like, that was a great day. Who was the direct? That man. Only I can remember.

I'll take a picture of him. Maybe he's a scrap officer. It's like a memento thing, you know. He can't remember. He's got to like have a photo of you. Yeah. He's just going to forget. It's weird how that is like, I'll look through

my camera roll on my phone. And it's like, it's almost like a time capsule. Like going back like, oh, I remember when we did this, everyone I did that, so I could see, like him wanting to take photos like that. It's very much like that, like, oh, right, this was at RTX three years ago, like you can contextualize it based on the date range and stuff.

Right, I get that, and I totally get taking photos, or your camera out and taking photos and things like that. But it wasn't like these were photos of like memories. It's like, oh, here they are, setting up this scene. What wacky times? It was like, he would here they are, setting up this scene. What wacky times? It was like, he would put you up to a brick wall and take a picture. It was like, every picture was a mug shot, oddly.

It wasn't, there was no memories. It was just creepy, calculated, kill people. I tried one of speaking of pictures. I tried one of the new features of iOS 10 in that you can now, like, our Siri, hey, show me all the pictures of me in San Francisco. You know, like cross reference to San Francisco and your face because it recognizes that.

And I was just like saying different people's names that was showing me them. And I was like, I wonder if it can tell pictures without faces in. So I said, show me pictures without faces. And it just Googled that, not pleasant. Oh, yeah, I was just like, oh, I didn't take these.

Hey, Siri, show me pictures of me. I didn't like to do that. I started getting into Reddit recently. There was this one thread who was like, what are the most shocking photos you've ever seen? It was an ask-reddit question. Holy shit.

That would, like, I went to a dark place. I did. What was that? No photos or videos. Wait, what is it? Show pictures of... Oh wait, it's a show pictures of me. I did. What was that? No photos or videos. Wait, what is it? Show pictures of... Oh wait, it's a show pictures of me. I don't do that.

Do you show... Take a theory. Show me pictures of me. Learn how to talk, bitch. Maybe it hasn't put you... It probably doesn't. Yeah. Do Estos, someone.

I don't know if it's associated. I don't know you can do that. I probably haven't associated it anybody. Yeah, do esto, someone. I don't know, I don't know if it's associated. I don't know, you can do that. I probably haven't associated anybody. God, that technology exists. Because without it and that level of organization, I would have no idea what happened in my life. Like, if you ask me, what happened in 2012, I'd be like, I don't know. You don't remember? No.

2012. I can't tell you what I did in 2012, but if I get my phone out, I'll be like, oh, that's a name one thing in 2012 that we did. No. I think I was a... I don't know if I want to a con that year. I don't know we did the horde mode immersion No idea. Oh no, that's when you 11 see yeah was the day five I don't think I remember much of my life till I was like 11 Yeah, but you were you were well past 11 in 2012 branded right? I'm saying no, I'm adding to that. What are you just saying? I'm adding to the list of things like I don't remember from life and it's just like having this to chronicle it you don't remember before 11 and you don't remember 2012 No, I there are a lot of other years that don't remember but you'll never forget

11 11 before I started remembering or I Can go back to when I was 11 or remember stuff before that I don't know like when at what age do you kind of remember life? existing I remember stuff when I was really young I remember I remember Being in Austin and my fat. I moved out of Austin when I was Three so I remember really I mean, I don't remember a lot from that young but I remember I have a couple of memories of Austin No idea. I mean I definitely remember before 11. I have good memories of when I started school Yeah, I guess around five, but all the memories before that are just stuff I was scared of

Huh I had a toy fire engine that was really loud scared the crap at me the Hoover scary What's the Hoover vacuum cleaner? Oh? I used to used to be scared of people playing pool. Like, did you not like the sound? I would watch the hands and the pool queue would be like, and I was like, how is it doing that? That's crazy. My dad would play this game with me and my little cousins

where he would, he would, dare us to stick our hands on the full table and he would just roll it or he would hit the ball. And he would just like hit the finger there. Ow! Why? Because the little kids are fucking dumb and they just kept doing it. Because they went to win, but my dad was an adult man who just murdered their fingers. You dad has some aggression.

You should get out of there. That's the funny dude. He's good. I had a proper movie moment the other day. Meg was out of town once again, and I was asleep. And I guess my face was right on the very edge of the bed, like my mouth was open. And in my dream, I think Meg like kissed me on the mouth or something.

And I was like, oh, that's a nice thing to wake up to. I just assumed she was doing it in real life. Woke up, wasn't Meg, she wasn't in town. I was just like this, my cat. Like got up on, like climbed up. to wake up to. I just assumed she was doing it in real life. woke up, wasn't magged, she wasn't in town. I was just like this. my cat, like got up on like climbed up on his back legs and he just put his paw in my mouth. I was like he was reaching into my mouth like get my tongue. I was like, oh my god.

It was disgusting. I would love to know, like, what the thought process the cat had. Yeah, that led it to do that like, like, up and stroke me. It's like, I'm, I've never touched his tongue. I'm gonna try that. He was just so accurate. I don't think he touched anything else in my face. It was just like straight into my mouth. I would do this, I would do that.

I would just say, I would immediately think about all the times it like walks around in like a litter box. Yeah. I would just immediately think about all the times it walks around in a litter box. Yeah. I washed my mouth hot. There was a, so you mentioned Megan maybe think about the story I read earlier today where there was a Japanese cosplayer who took photos with a live 37 pound octopus

for some reason. And it's just like her with this giant looks like a tenacle monster. Oh and it's alive. Yeah. How's it not grabbing her? Yeah I was wondering the same thing apparently it did cover her with with squid ink though. Is she naked? So then she was just acting out like every person's like vision of I mean hen ty then. She'd be covered like down there, right? I mean, he couldn't have put the octopus the right way up. No, his anus is out in the middle of that face.

Well, you have all of his like suckers around too. That's what makes it more titillating. Yeah, it's good word. You cover your cat, we have a dog who is also named Gus, no relation. Who's we? A live action. It's, you all have a dog over there named Gus, and this. Who's Wee? Live action. It's, you'll have a dog over there named Gus,

and this is how I find out about it? Yeah, he's a really good boy. He's a really good boy. Better than Gus. 10 out of 10 doggo. So, 12 out of 10. Are you great dogs? Yeah, he's really nice.

And I've been doing this thing for a week where Ellie, his owner, will put a handkerchief around his neck every now and then. And he feels like a yellow one. For what a reason I have a ton of handkerchief around his neck every now and then he feels like a yellow one. For what a reason I have a ton of handkerchiefs. So For a week every day for like you know every like three hours I would switch out the handkerchief and not tell anybody and just kind of like be at my desk and just watch and people like

Oh, did did you switch out your your your your hand key and like everyone was like really confusing it first Who's like a cute like oh who did, a cute, oh, who did this? And then people were like, who did this? Like, the guy shoes doing this to you, and they were like, really confused. But yeah, that's Gus. Gus. Yeah, he had like black, pink, yellow, blue, and red. You do the weirdest stuff secretly.

Oh, but he's so cute. You have the weirdest ideas. And he was the perfect, the accomplice, because he would, like, he wouldn't tell anyone. Yeah, he wouldn't tell anybody, and I would put him on, and then I'd be like, okay, go, go, go, go. And then he would just be like, oh no, no, no, no. Yeah.

So did you go out and like buy all of these like handkerchiefs specifically for this reason? No, I have, I carry handkerchiefs around just because it's like they're just perfect for, like I was like driving one time and my hair kept on getting my eyes so I like pulled back that's my longer hair. Wait, wait, wait.

That's, you serious? Yeah, wait, wait. You serious? Yeah, like a little, like a little Rambo bandana. It wasn't like the Betty, the, what are Rosie the Riveter, he was like the... Why do you need like eight different ones? Well, so I had two because they come in packs of two, and then I can't remember, I had a pink one in my thing for like, I think it was like wardrobe or something else, and then I went to wardrobe department and I was like, hey, I'm doing this stupid fucking thing. Can I borrow some handkerchiefs? Do you have a put them in your back pocket? No, I heard that that's sometimes

Some sort of signaling. Yeah, I was gonna say you have them like to signal what you're into like what you're what you're looking for Right, so I know that's the thing and then I also know it's like a gang thing to some what is that? Like combination of color and which pocket but cheek you put it in is like an indicator of you Want to get fucked? What if you're colorblind? Or you want to fuck? You just want to fuck? Yeah. You're colorblind? Yeah, and you don't know which comment like it's an accident Then it's like it's like pot luck man I don't know what I'm going for but I'm gonna get it

I'd like to imagine there's like some mechanic somewhere like a real salted earth like Republican dude And then some guy comes up and he's like, oh hey, you want to love that? And he's like, oh, what are you talking about? Because he's a hanger, he's just this. So a much better story than that. Did you have you seen that we write dogs, Twitter account? No, no. Where it's like, people send them dogs and they rate the dogs.

All the dogs they rate are like 12 out of 10. Sometimes they don't do dogs, it'll be like, I don't know, a lizard. And someone got mad at them and tweeted at them, and wrote, you're rating system sucks, just change your name to cute dogs. And that's why you so mad, you said, well, you give every dog's 11 and 12,

it doesn't make any sense, you just reply, oh, they're good dogs. I'm sorry, I was like, what's to put some perfect response. Yeah. That's pretty good. You showed me the best news story about the woman who fell asleep in the Uber. Oh God, yeah.

The map was, we got to get the map up on the screen. There was a woman in London who had, I guess, she was going home. I think she had been out with her friends and she decided she was gonna go home. I guess she just had to go like a five minute walk but she decided to take an Uber instead. Which in London is probably a six minute car, right? Yeah, and so I guess she got in the car, it got in the Uber and fell asleep.

The driver woke her up when she got home and she went to bed and woke up the next morning, got the receipt and the receipt was like for 85 pounds. So she looked at the map and the Uber receipt and he had driven it for 35 miles around London and like the most roundabout way. But not even near where she was going. It's like he drove in the wrong direction.

Like if she woke up 10 miles away from, like she, that's a huge risk. Yeah, and also it throws the map out when you're done. So you can see exactly what you were. Maybe he's just driving till she woke up because he was like the map. Oh, that's the Maybe he's just driving till she woke up cuz he was like Oh that's the map Two dots of where she started away

She was going to Wow that guy's an asshole God he went away to Wembley Oh let's see I'm trying to see if I can see how long the trip lasted for Do you think he just made a bunch of stops along the way? He's like running in the air and he's like Yeah

That must have been like an hour He must have taken a long fucking time. That was like time and night, I guess. I assume she was hammered. Yeah, it was a Sunday night, doesn't say. Hour and a half. Oh yeah, total trip time, one hour, 30 minutes. Yep. Damn.

There was a guy who proposed to his girlfriend, they were like running buddies and they did some sort of like, map my run app or something and he ran along this specific trail and at the end they were like, oh wow, let's see what, you know, our time was and then it spilled out, marry me. But it was so fucking like,

there was like all these intricate details and it's like, oh, they're on this road for a block and then another block. The girlfriend must have known something, right? Cause it was the most sporadic pattern of running. Well, she must've thought this is a weird path, but I don't think she would've thought he's spelling something right now.

You know, thanks a lot. She's like, oh, let me pay attention to the route we're running, so I found what we're spelling. Yeah, I assume she just thought he was lost. I don't know. It's a sweet story, but it's just like, I feel like something would've been, you know. You think she'd be skeptical if that ever happened again, like they were running in a bunch of random areas but it's just like, I feel like something would have been, you know. You think she'd be skeptical if that ever happened again,

like they were running a bunch of random areas and she's wondering like, is this his way of asking for a divorce? Yeah, she can come up. How do they stop it and style like that? Oh yeah, will you marry me? Yeah, that is a fucked up run. I think there's a double US.

There's a little columnar. So he must have something for the W. You must have gone up like half a block and turned the road. He'd come back down it and then go up the next one You have to freak out if this is a complete accident When it was like some kind of like crowd sourced run Like this is a popular run in your area Oh shit, we find if he was secretly mad at her and instead just spell out bitch or something and it just like this is a popular run in your area. Oh shit. We find if he was secretly mad at her

and instead just spell out bitch or something and they just didn't say anything, it's like that'll get her. It's like incredibly passive aggressive. Yeah. There was this, I was going downtown this one time and I called an Uber and there was, or the lift, there was an error

and there was like a bunch of women in the car and I think they were on like some, what's the thing, bachelor at party? And the drivers, like, oh, there must have been a mistake. Like these girls had the car and I think they were on like some what's the thing patchwork party and they're the drivers like other must have been a mistake like these girls had the car at the same time that you got it and I was like oh okay I'll just take the next one they're like no no no you can come along like we can split the ride okay fine so I jumped in with like

this pack of women is pretty cool a pack of women a pack of women a gaggle of women and a murder of women, a gaggle of women, and a murder of women. I was like, hey, why don't you just drop me off wherever and then just keep the ride going. It's under my thing. You guys cancel the ride. I'll just pay for it. You guys are celebrating your bachelor's party. Let me take care of it.

They're like, oh, that's so nice. I was going from six up to my house, which is pretty far north. And then I was like, yeah, just taking wherever. And then I looked at the map and the guy basically like all he would have had to have done was go down a couple more blocks down six street and drop them off and then got in my place. But they'd join me on the ride to my house and then back down and then over. They were like, they were in that car way longer than you did be.

I felt like a total cock at the end of the day. Well, at least you paid for the Rubber ride. Yeah, that was way longer than you did be. I felt like a total cock at the end of the day. Because they're... At least you paid for their Uber ride. Yeah, that was very nice of you. How much was it? I don't remember. How's drunk? Did I tell you what happened with the room at Paul's Bachelorette party?

I told that story to anybody. No. So her and her friends going to Vegas for the Bachelorette. And I'm like, you know, it's gonna be a lot of them. I'll get a suite. Planned Hollywood's actually a really cool hotel for like younger people So I got a suite of planet Hollywood it looked really nice The one thing they don't tell you but it kind of makes sense is all of the sweets are themed around different movies Okay, all right. I mean that just could be kind of cool and

So they get in there and then you that no no no no no I mean we still don't know so they get in there and then... Where did you get that? No, no, no, no. I mean, this is the microphone. So they get in there and I was like, oh, so what's going on? And they shouldn't want to tell me. And I'm like, what's the problem? And then she texts me back this picture of like a full-size, Borg costume from Star Trek.

The entire room is themed after the Star Trek series. And not even the new movies like Voyager There's like a there's like a coffee table with like cling on weapons Yeah, it's like they googled my name because it was under my name and like we're like oh this guy would love Star Trek And then it was a bunch of you know like do you like Star Trek? Yeah, you like sure like, do you like girls who shut up? Yeah, you like, sure. You know that. Are you serious? No, I'm not asking. Do you not know that about me?

I do not know that about you. I'm watching Enterprise right now. Why? That's, I thought I'd give it a shot, you know, and it turns out they have this like, really hot, vulcan, and I'm like, waiting for that to go somewhere, but it's not, it's not a very great show, but I'm sticking with it. How's Mary life? Good.

Good. Why are you singing on the high note? The higher the response is, the higher in pitch. The story comes out, like, you know, something of note. But this is good. Well, where are ceremony is, it's in like six weeks. And yesterday she told me that I should probably go to the gym now before. And it's's like it's not even hinting. It's just kind of a

very Your fat and out of shape look fat. No, you scuttle it. You got to get under here Yeah, I can I can sympathize Paul's it's called skinny fat apparently and then I invented skinny fat We did a we did a short and there was like a profile picture of you. And we were the one with Carrie, was you sure? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you were like, I look like my chest looks like an alien. Like, it's such a weird, weird body shape. Yeah, no, I'm you and I are. I've got a little worse than you. We should go to the beach together. Yeah, well, we'll go when we help Blaine at the gym Yeah, we can we can work on it exercise. Do you do? I run do you really?

How far trying to be better about it? I try to do a few miles a day I have a treadmill so I do I do I don't have to go outside mega She just ran a half marathon at the weekend. She went to Seattle to participate in one. What did you do? I didn't want to travel. Like I cherish any weekend where I don't have to be anywhere. I just like seeing a home at the weekend. But you know moral support I ran a half marathon on the treadmill at the same time. Really? But I have a thing in my house where I can only run on the treadmill in the day because at night if I have the light on and the treadmill on it trips the breaker

Well, because the light is on oh Weird it's like that plus the treadmill. I can only run in the day or I could run in the dock on a treadmill But that seems dangerous. That's really bizarre. Yeah, do you have a nest or like an echo bee or whatever? Yeah, like smart thermostat. Did you get a nest or like an echo bee or whatever? Yeah. Like smart thermostat. Did you get the rebate with the Austin energy? I mean, if that's something you have to set up, then no.

Yeah, it's like you get this great discount. And I'm like, sweet, there's no strings attached. Don't, don't you have, okay. But apparently, apparently the strings for like 150 to holler discount or that you can't turn on the air conditioner during the week before 6 p.m. So it was like 85 degrees and I'm like cool off and it's like, all right, but you're gonna lose

that 15 dollar rebate and I'm like, mother. Okay. Why do they care? Because like, see if you don't want to build more air conditioning capacity or spend more money in the summer on, on, you know, you know, electrical capacity to handle like the air conditioning needs in the summer, because you don't need them in the winter. So they're giving people one time $50 rebates to not use the AC and just like bake.

What's like an expense that you make every now and then, you're like, I, this is really dumb, but it's convincing my life so I don't really care. For instance, I park on my street even though I have a parking spot in my parking garage for my apartment, but my spot is like on the top floor, so it's just like, if I have to park on the street. It's like $1.50, you know, and then once it hits 6 p.m.

then it doesn't really matter anymore. So it's like that kind of thing. Like do you do anything like that or it's just like a stupid expense? So you're just like, no, no, no. Any of the like the airport security clearance stuff that I pay for is like a stupid expense. It's unnecessary, but it's convenient.

I need to get, I need to get a GSA pre-prooving. Yeah, so I've got pre-check and clear. It's like I've got both. You could probably make do with one, but you can do with one. Clear lets you, so you don't have to show your ID, use biometric scanning, and once you scan in, you cut to the front of the line. They like literally walk you up to the front

of the pre-check line. Next time you're at the airport, just take a look. It's like a big blue light, and it's like a kiosk machine, like a red box machine. Yeah, but it's only in certain airports. It's only at, yeah, in Austin, and it's only at Checkpoint One. That's the new one.

Yeah, the one off to the one. And never guys, that was always the busiest. I only go there now, because I can get through. I probably can't even do that anyway. But Checkpoint One's the busiest city, Austin, Berksham. Yeah, no, middle one is.

The one that you write. And the one's always empty when I go. You're crazy. Yeah, no, middle one is. One that you write. And the one's always empty when I go. You're crazy. Yeah, the one that's empty is three. Three, yeah, three sucks. Three does suck. This is the worst conversation of a hat. Three here, fly into the Austin Airport.

You get all the inside information. All the information. I had, I was at the airport when I was flying out to New York the other week. There was an old couple in line, like getting ready to board, right by me. And we're getting ready to get on the plane, they're about to start boarding.

And there's an announcement over the loudspeaker that's like Mr. Jones, come back to security checkpoint two, you'll left your cell phone and your ID. Michael left his phone. And the old couple standing there, and then after like two seconds, the older woman like elbows the man is like,

that's you, they're calling you and he's like what oh okay he like left it went back to security how were you gone for that long you realize you're missing all you shit I flew out a Saturday morning and my gate was like gate 22 and security checkpoint one the new one is by gate one but I was like it's new and ever seen it so I went out of my way to go to it. And then I get through it. And I'm like, oh my god, my flight's on the other side

of the airport. I'm just going to chill here, because it's like four in the morning. And then like, I wasn't paying attention. I dozed off a little bit. And I missed my flight. Oh my god. Oh my god. It was like too lazy to go.

It was worth it. It's a very nice checkpoint. It was so nice. It was so steeped, Brendan. I, you know how excited I get with stuff like this. You got so excited you fell asleep? No, I went to the other side of the airport and then I got in and I was like, fucking tired, I was like, look, I got an hour and a half, I'm just going to chill here

and then I'll walk to my gate. It was bad. You spent far too long at the airport that day. That sounds terrible. No, it was crazy. There was another flight to Houston 30 minutes later and then there was another flight to Monterey, Mexico 30 minutes after that. Oh, it was fine.

I have never missed a flight in my life. I've only missed like, connect your flights where my inbound flight is delayed. I've done that. Yeah. But that's how I control. Origin, you are correct. Yeah. Because you're not a psychopath.

Yeah. No, I was excited. I never got to go. You were in the airport. I know, but it I was excited. I never got to go you went in the airport. I know but it was oh so early And I'd like already walked to like the very end to go to through the new checkpoint Which was we have we have an employee here who moved Austin fairly recently and her family is from another city name him I'll I'll I don't want to never nobody nobody in the park. Nobody who's watching knows who she is and Her family was gonna come down a visitor one day and they missed their flight and

They said that they just got to the airport and they were having a really good breakfast and They didn't realize that the plane took off It's like the same kind of thing where it's like I can't I can't understand how often is the airport and Missing your flight like being there with plenty of time and still missing your flight Well, I always miss to fly with Bernie once in Florida airport. We had a connection that before the airport We just like getting bad since like oh god final board didn't go, but that was the closest When I travel alone, I'm I'm like the perfect travel I leave the best time Yeah, I miss a flight because I was drunk

Perfect try to leave the best time. Yeah, I miss a flight because I was drunk the day before and I was like super hungover. And then I missed a flight with Aaron, we're gonna go to Los Angeles for this thing. I don't know if we're ever gonna be able to talk about that. We did like an audition for something. It's kind of a long story. Well, we'll have to get Aaron on the podcast

so we can talk about it, but we missed a flight together. And it actually like it's far less stressful. When something shitty happens, when you have a friend there to just fucking joke around about it, because it was like such a shitty situation, but we were just cracking jokes the whole time. So it was like totally chill. What was shit about it?

I mean, we were someone bought us a plane ticket to go somewhere, and we were supposed to go there. We missed our flight. And then we had to reschedule a day's worth of events based off of us missing that flight. How did it, if it's such an important flight? Because we got there super early, but it's fucking awesome, very strong, and it was like I think the weekend of South by Southwest or something, so there's people just like an

Exodus out of Austin. How early, though? I want to, I want hear what, super early means. I think we got there probably like, 50 minutes before doors closed. Maybe, maybe broke boarding. It's not early at all. I don't know, but it's see if it was like super early in the morning

and we were up late night, the night before doing paperwork stuff. Because you woke up early that isn't Transparency we know how time works Gavin, but it was just you was just early no one's to blame It was just a silly joke to blame. No, no It's good time Bernie is Bernie must be watching the podcast because he's he's telling me other times that you have missed flights Luke says texting me right now. Oh, I did miss that. I have this three flights, and they were all within the same year, within like three months of each year. You have got to get your shit together. I don't know what I'm doing with my life guys.

Are you late to meetings? Are you late to a... Stubways. We have a Monday morning meeting at 10.30 AM. I show up at 10.33 on the dot every time, and it's like the universe does not want me to show up on time. It's not the universe, it's you. No, I wake up early.

It is you blame by traffic. You blame by traffic. Or you take the sheds. It's the only way to the universe. The entire universe is you. Well, it works. There's traffic. You got to put in the time in case of traffic.

That's what being on time. I hate this, I hate this like shifting a responsibility. It's the universe that doesn't let me go in. What time? What time is wake up early? What's the time of the thing that I got to go see? What time is wake up early? What's the time of the thing that I gotta go see? What time's wake up early? Oh, like nine.

Nine. You're the worst. Sometimes I'll be, my AD knows that I'll be showing up. You're what? My assistant director knows that I'll be showing up like five minutes. He always expects that I'll be showing up like five minutes. He always expects I'll be showing up three to five minutes. I'm always on time for everything except million dollars, but I'm always deliberately

40 minutes late, which puts me in at just around 10 minutes before you're ready for me. You walk in, get your makeup done, then immediately sit down and there you go. We because every time I'm on time for million dollars, but I sit there with my thumb and my ass for at least an hour or two. So if I'm 40 minutes late, that's just about right. It's like the Bernie Burns School of Logic. But now that I've told them that, they'll call me, and I'll still be. Until even earlier.

Yep. That's a mark Gibsonism, some of the ass. My dad always had, he just sat around, or thumb up the ass. I should have the bed here. No, we started, we made a new system for you, and then we've implemented it for the other talent to where we don't call you until we're like, ready to go pretty much. Like you have like a,

I mean, I'm flying way in way, it's like a location that's far, it's fine. But sometimes it's like, at the armory, which is within eye shot of Achievement Hunter. So I'll be over there, just like stood there for two hours waiting, it's fine, but sometimes it's like at the armory, which is within eye shot of achievement hunter. Yeah, so I'll be over there. I just like stood there for two hours waiting. It's like Keep you working. I could be making a video. I could be in a let's play right now, but instead I'm just Yeah, I can see my office. I just just can't be that. I just got to make things happen and stuff like that. Whoever calls you in That's there. I'll put it. I'll take it up with them. I'm sorry. I'll just now you're it honestly it's a million times better with you than when it was with him that's true really

then you are the worst well Lockwood was he Western now yeah, yeah, it's terrible I shot some sort of defense. Yeah, that was bad. I shot a short the other day with Some sort of defense man. That was bad. I shot a short the other day with Marshall. Yeah, Marshall Marshall was directing it and he had an amazing shot list. It was just like like Clockwork. We're just banging out like every scene. It was maybe the most efficient shooting I've ever had for anything We've done it was like the shot list was so comprehensive and so it was not you were never like Oh, did we get that did we get this do we need to get this coverage? No so it was not, we were never like, oh did we get that, did we get this, do we need to get this coverage?

No, it was like everything which is outlined and done. It was amazing. If you don't have any production that might sound like the most boring thing in the world to you, no, it was awesome. You haven't shot with me in a while. I have like got it down to an art. You haven't been on a million dollars in forever

and I know it's because I'm not giving you enough time. I'll actually be like the day before. But I really, you should come true with those. I've made it to where Jeff enjoys live action shoots. I've done the impossible. Although the last million dollars I was on, I didn't know until the day before. That was my coordinators. Hey, let me read this.

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You can turn that off. I did. I immediately disabled that. That's terrible. Why? I also made it so that. Because sometimes when it's dim or when it's dark, like I'm in like a dim room, I pick it up,

I get blinded. Have you used like nighttime mode? Yeah, but if you pick it up, I hate nighttime. If you pick it up, you wanted to see the screen anyway. Right, but it's like, I'm just like, it's just like jarring, like I'm not ready for it. Yeah. It's such a screen anyway. Right, but it's like, I'm just like, Jari, I'm not ready for it yet. That's such a bad idea. This is like it turns on.

I don't like it. Why do you hate night mode? I don't like the shade of yellow, it becomes, I don't like that. You can set your shade of yellow. You can? Yeah. Can you set no shade of yellow?

Because I don't like it. Yeah, I just don't use the night mode. That's what I do. I don't like it. I don't like it. But now keep you awake longer because of science and your eyes and brain. I don't really use my phone now keep you awake longer because of science and your eyes and brain. I don't really use my phone in bed.

What are you doing, bed? I go to sleep. Okay, you're getting to bed. Then you turn over, go to sleep, right then? Yes. That's amazing. Man, I'm on it. I can just turn my brain off.

And you ask me what that meant. And I was like, I was like, Esther. She hates it. Because she's stuck away kind of. Right. She can't do that. Most people can't do that. I will literally say, all right, I'm going to sleep now,

roll over on my side and then you immediately fall asleep. I can not, there's no way I can fall asleep without having the TV on. It's like I have to have something that I have to pay attention to in order to fall asleep. I have to say I have to take. It's like, my flight leaves in an hour and a half. Mm.

It was like four in the morning. Was that a TV on? No. Well, because he was concentrating on his flight in an hour and a half, that's what he was concentrating on. I just, when you're that, or like the time's just blur, like you just look at your watch, you're like, yeah, I think my flight's in an hour

and it was in it, like, all right, yeah. It was a dumb reason. Yeah, that's a terrible dumb reason. I was misdemeeting with a priest. Eek. Wow, you need to be on time for things, Brandon. You want to elaborate on that? Nope. You're having an exorcism or anything? Nope, I like to keep it. You're not really elaborating much tonight. Why not? You're gavining us. Wait, what? No, well, yeah The meeting got rescheduled anyway for next week. So there's no fallout.

Priest was too busy. Yeah, I'm going back to Monoray Mexico to meet with the priest because he has to like inspect me and Make sure that I'm okay to get married in the Catholic Church. I know I do with that means you have to 10 classes It's a four-out nope No class union and a long ceremony. I've done communion and Catholic Church I did confirmation in a Methodist Church because do you get to pick a new name for that? No, we we switched to a Methodist Church because it was closer to to pick a new name for that? No, we switched to a Methodist Church because it was closer to our house and we didn't want to walk.

Yeah, what's that? The Pick a Saint Me. Really? If you got confirmed, you had to pick a Saint Me. Not in the Methodist Church. What's that? I don't remember. It was a long time ago. I picked Saint Steve.

That's a lie. I think it was st. Mark. So I have to I've to meet with the priest for four hours next weekend. Oh That's your class. Yeah, what happens if they don't like give you the Passing report card. It's too late. I'm sure they already got it booked and paid for Getting married in the Catholic Church is paid for getting married in a Catholic church is Exxonely expensive and difficult really yes in Mexico everywhere It was easier to get married in a Catholic church in Mexico than it was in Austin Hmm, like you have to find a priest to sponsor you and then you have to interview him And he has to decide if you want to do it. Yeah, that's right

Good call And then he's like, all right, well, you have to come to church every week for a year and then do all this stuff and it's like, whoa buddy, I just, look man, let's show up. And then you bless me and we'll call it a day. But it's this for because you have to use, you want, okay, so is it work that you see a church

that you wanna use and then that is attached to a priest and then that's how that happens. Because I feel like with Gus, like he didn't have to be like bullshit for... It's because it's like the Catholic church, it's because it's an organized church. I don't know how people... You got to book a priest, but the priest can go,

you know, anywhere he wants, but you got to get one. Actually, when we were looking to go in Austin, the only way we were able to find a priest is because I'm a UT alum. So I had a collect, like that's one of the perks, the few perks. Well, like a Texas exes thing or? I don't know, man, it's a nightmare.

Anybody who's actually been successfully married in the Catholic church, hats off. You continuing to make me not wanna get married, which sounds like a fucking nightmare. But you probably wouldn't have a Catholic marriage anyway, would you? Oh, yeah. I don't know what my marriage would be if I had one. Can I come to your wedding?

You said groomsman. Just have a fucking kid. Just have a fucking keg party at the park. Let's do it. Can I be a your wedding? No, yes. Can we be groomsman? No.

I mean, do I have to have groomsman? If you're a wife to be, well you wanted to be a groomsman on the bride side though. Yes. I want both. You're asking the wrong question. I like being groom's man's fun. It's a lot of issues.

It's a lot of issues. It's a lot of issues. It's a lot of issues. It's a lot of issues. It's a lot of issues. It's a lot of issues. It's a lot of issues. It's a lot of issues.

It's a lot of issues. It's a lot of issues. It's a lot of issues. It's a lot of issues. It's a lot of issues. It's a lot of issues. It's a lot of issues. It's a lot of issues. It's a lot of issues. It's a lot of issues. It's a lot of issues. It's a lot of issues. We're gonna have to. We're not gonna talk about that. And wait, but the, hey, did my go into your wedding now?

The same thing applies to you, right? Yeah. Verbal confirmation. Let me get you some. For sure. Mr. Contract. Okay, it's verbally signed. How many people have you married?

Um, one, two, three, four. I did play her at, it's not bad. It's a good call. How many of them are still together? All five. Nice. I'm five for five. Which one do you think is the most likely to break up?

Are you gonna do Bernie's? He has not asked me to. No, so probably not. Did you do Jack? Oh, I did do Jack also. It's six then. Nice. Wow, you forgot your own one. I put my money in that one.

What did you get it? I didn't get it. No, I can't call. I'm not going to call anybody out. They're all going to speed together forever, because I'm batting 1,000. Have you done any game aridges? No.

Shadger. Should be a mission list. No, he. No, OK. Ah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Can you do an exorcism? I cannot do exorcism. What's the extent of your like priestly or... I'm not a priest. You're a year, man. You're like an officiate marriage ceremony. You're officiating, okay. Are you also a notary? No.

You should become one. Why? No, that's too much. It's like another cool thing that you do. No, you're not a responsibility. Why is that not cool? Why is it cool? Cause like, hey, I need one. Hey, I'm one.

Sup. How often have you needed a notary in your life? I've never needed one. But I just I hear about it. It's like, I know people here who are notary. It's like, that's cool. Yeah, Vaughn's a notary. Is she? I think so. I think Emily is too. Now they

take it very seriously. Yeah, I think it's a four. It's like a a witt official witness of it. You can say that someone you can confirm the identity of someone who signed a document. Yeah. Like they check your ID and then... Why wouldn't you want to be that? Because then I would have to talk to other people.

You have to do that for marrying people too. Why did you want to be a marriage guy? Or dainty? I did that when I was like 16. I don't know. Did you really? Yeah. It was funny back then.

I feel like it's being a free Mason, except today. It was like something like people take super seriously. Becca says that she can teach you how to game the thermostat system. Apparently you've got it all wrong. All right. Oh, speaking of Becca, have you seen the answers that are posted after each podcast? Did that guide us? What's that guy's name?

I don't remember. It's awesome though. It's like my favorite thing to do now every time a podcast comes out, is that this guy takes all the dumb questions we ask and all the dumb stuff we said and actually writes all the facts. Wow.

It's super educating because it's really specific to all the things we just talked about. Well now I'm trying to think. Well, really interesting for me to read. Now I'm trying to think of questions that I have like lingering in my mind that I want answered. Well that's not deliberately given more work. Well you know, he's gonna be doing it. You know like I bet he's out- he's listening to this right now and he's like oh oh. He's enjoying it, you know.

I always knew his name. He's oh. I think I wrote his name down. What's his name? Thank you. No I didn't write his name down. Steve, we're probably really deciding to go right now. We've read everything you've read. Still, but I don't remember your name.

I don't know his name. I think we had live stream that meeting with the priest. It's probably never gonna find out, right? Parasca, you'd be interested, yeah. I'd watch it. You watch it, right? Yeah. I'll have tweeted a date once and she found out

like the day after. So it was not the same as getting like married in a Catholic church in a small town. You tweet at a date. It was before my Twitter date. Nah, she thought it was like cute or whatever. I mean, I see you tweet at people who you're on a date with.

What has that happened? But, well, I mean, oh wait, oh, maybe I don't want this information disclosed. that happened. But, I mean, oh wait, oh, maybe I don't want this information disclosed. This got really awkward. Yeah, I can't remember what it was. I think I was waiting for it in a movie theater. I had a bunch of time to kill it because I actually showed up on time, which is total bullshit.

Let me tell you, because you're just standing on an asshole waiting for the thing to happen. When you could just be showing up a little bit late when everybody's ready for you. Right on time when it comes to women. Yeah, so anyways, I was sitting there. Maybe a little bit early sometimes. And I was like tweeting all these things that were, uh, is good.

Jeremiah. Jeremiah, thank you Jeremiah for checking all of our facts. Uh, anyways, we were, uh, I was just waiting there and I just tweeted. And then I wasn't like doing it when I was like talking to her But I'd be like I need to go to the bathroom I go to the bathroom that I Sin it up to the update tweet Yeah, I'm just gonna not about it. You should just work out a code system where if you tweet a thumbs up emoji on its own Yeah, that means your dates going well

Yeah, thumbs down Not good so No, if it's to the wait-lifter, it's a good date If it's a slice of pizza, it's a bad date. Oh, that's a better code I don't know. That's a good way to let the world know what about a poop with a happy face. Is there a proof of the sad face? I don't know why you're talking about live Live tweeting a date maybe think about this, but

Jordan Swier is used to do something I thought was really cool where If he was at in public like you know, he's living in Southern California, if you went to Disneyland, he would find a pay phone and he would tweet the number on the pay phone and be like, and say, I'm going to be here for the next 15 minutes. If you want to talk, just call. Whoa. And then he would just sit there and like answer the phone and if everybody called, do you do that at Disney? Yeah, he would do it.

It's fun if you just like, I called it. I was walking my dog and I was like, he tweeted and I immediately called the number and he was like, hello? He was like, hey, what's up, man, it's Gus. He was like, what's going on? He was like, what's going on? He's like, I am walking my dog. And we could if he just walked away and someone else

answered the phone and he was like, hey, that's for me. Yeah. Or it's like in those movies where it's like, I'm going to be calling this pay phone if you don't answer your wife will die. Jordan's like, hello! Well that phone booth maybe? Yeah.

I was clearly written at a time when there were no mobile phones. It's fucking hard to find a phone booth now. I think there's one, it doesn't matter where it is, but they're all gone basically. They were turning all the London ones into Wi-Fi hotspots. That's smart.

That's what I saw in the recall. Yeah, it's really good. Same thing. Is there ever gonna be, I mean, I'm never going to feel safe doing that, but is there ever going to be like a city wide Wi-Fi? They announced it in Houston, then the company who said they were going to do it like, win broke. They got Earthlink. Wow. Oh, God Earthlink. Yeah. They're like out about that. It's like big city. Like how are you going to do that? I'm going to trust trust us and it's like yeah they're gone. Do you remember a few years ago it's South by they put Wi-Fi hotspots on homeless people? Oh yeah. Yeah. They didn't put it on them. They paid homeless people to carry Wi-Fi hotspots. If there was a system in place where you could say you have a gigabit and you could separate I've got a gigabit and you could separate off

a hundred megs of your connection. A hundred megs? I'm illustrating. All right. Thanks. I got a hundred megs and nine hundred megs. And that then became public Wi-Fi that was completely separate to your network and then everyone did that. Yeah. And then that was the free Wi-Fi of Austin. Would you do that? No. Even if they said no. You get half price internet. No. You end of Austin. Would you do that? No. Even if they said, you get half price into that. You wouldn't do it. Why would I do that?

I don't want people using my internet. But it's, they would. I don't care. No, I do not want to do that. All right, what, okay, what about this? You have a gigabit now, do you? Yes. Say they upgraded it to 1.1 gigabits.

Would you then give the point what? No, what? It's all mine. What if it. No, it's all mine. What if it was only a, it's only gonna be used for like a ridiculous services? No, like, is it a security risk that you don't want to,

I just want to share with anyone. Yeah, but you were that kid in the sandbox that just paid, you'd be getting a discount. But I'd have to share. Gus, do you have a, so you have to share now, you only allow to gigabit because you're sharing with the rest of the city.

But that's more than most people. Is it for anything like, right now if you have solar panels on your house, you actually make money in the winter because you sell energy to the city. So, if you had solar panels at least, and you weren't using that energy at all, would you sell it to the city?

You're just making money, he's getting something. Yes. Because you just don't really stop that anyway. There's not. Yeah, there's not. What if it was your choice, then like us, you want to get back to the community? Oh no then. I would save it all for me.

I feel like you need people. You need people. Right, I would use it. I'd plug in two treadmills and two lines. You hate people and the environment. Yes. Okay, if everyone else except for you and Esther and your dogs were wiped off the face of the planet, you've got the whole of us to the whole world yourself.

Your wife. Would that be all right? It's so awesome. But you gotta be no services. That is kind of sucks. So I'd have to like grow my own food and stuff. But I guess you could live off of like canned food in a while.

Yeah, you could just go around and slowly exhaust all of the canned food from every area that you go to. Or you could live on a farm. Oh, then I have to work. You can go out to Tobacco's farm. She's got a bunch of onions out there. Yeah, but the onions don't grow themselves.

They're set. Onions for days. I don't think you like it onions don't grow themselves. You're set onions for days. I don't think you like it. I don't know. You need people in your world, right? You should care more about people. You should give up part of your internet connection for my new system of free wifi across the nation.

If I give up part of my internet, I don't get food. What? Like, wait up for your example. You say I need people, you're right. I do need people, but if I give them 100 megabits, that doesn't give me anything. Well, maybe people would be more productive if there was Wi-Fi everywhere they went. I think they'd be less productive. Why?

Because then they'd be distracted looking at their phones and shit. They'd probably be more car crashes. They could do business. I'm doing this for you're good. They could be sat on their laptop doing business in traffic. Then they'd be outside of my place, like, oh, this guy's got gigabit, it's fast. It wouldn't be them connecting to your internet. It would just be, it'd be outside of my place, like, oh, this guy's got giggle bit, it's fast. It wouldn't be them connecting to your internet. It would just be, it'd be shared.

It'd be like everyone's beaming internet from all of that. But you said I was sharing it. You're sharing a segment to give out to forget it. Is there ever, I was thinking about this the other day, is there something that a while ago, not like too long, like five years ago, seems like super antiquated by today's standards. Like, for instance, the first I-Fi. Four square.

No, no, so here's my example. It's more of like a social thing. So, stop. My football team, we would travel out to this one high school and their stadium was like old, had like grass fields, now most have like astroturf and stuff like that. But the visiting team's locker room, the bathrooms,

they didn't have stalls or stall doors for the toilet. And I figured out that it was like a psychological thing to where if you had to take a shit, you had to do it in front of all your teammates and that throws off all the focus. It was like a war tactics. And then if you did take a shit, well yeah, so everybody's gonna watch you,

and if you didn't take a shit, then you got like shit in your stomach, the rest of the, or shit in your system of the rest of the game. There's just not doors on the end. There's still doors on the side. You know, there's just have like five toilets on the floor. It's like urinal, urinal toilet. And then it's like an open room.

Yeah, no walls. Wow. So I think by today's standards that would never fucking happen Never article about I would say that's a bonding experience once you've all looked a bad guy And seeing him taking dumps. Yeah, did you all see it? You can't hide the face that you make when you poo Have you ever tried to look casual as you poo? No, I've never had to need to do that I stayed at a hotel in LA once,

where let's say I'm on the toilet right here, there was a mirror right here, like a full length mirror. See, it doesn't wash, it's like, I can't look at myself taking a shit. You mean you didn't just stay yourself right? No, I did not let that down myself, well, you know what I mean? I just shared, at her old apartment,

they had this huge mirror right behind the toilet, to where if you were taking a piss, you were staring at your dick, pissing and yourself. And then all of a sudden, I always thought that was the weirdest thing and then they moved houses and then they settled in and so like that

and I watched in their bathroom and they hung a mirror in the exact same spot. I was like, I guess he liked it because he's still there. Yeah, it feels like you're rooting yourself on. I don't know, he's just like, look at you though. You were talking like the antiquated football

Stadium and they maybe think about something I saw over the weekend. Did you see I guess when Adrian Peterson got hurt During the game on Sunday. I guess I'm assuming that's football. Yes I'm talking about the worst job ever He got hurt and then to take him to the locker room. Yeah, and I guess you know the Vikings have this new stadium And they realized that the fastest way to get into the locker rooms He had to go through a restaurant in the in the stadium So there's like footage of people like in the restaurant They see age repeaters coming through like limping. He's being carried by trainers

And everyone gets their phone out you know to like film him It's like is it really that poorly designed? I get to go through a fucking restaurant to get to the locker right? That's bad. Yeah, that's bad design. But it's a good view though, the restaurant. Yeah, I mean, there's things somehow. They got they got really close. And who's eating at the restaurant? I call it NFL games going on. Like, who's in the restaurant? Like, oh, man, these notches are really good. Fucking no, you're in a fucking stadium. Like, yeah, it's a

most expensive food you could possibly eat. You have to buy a fucking NFL ticket to be there. They're competing high schools in Texas that are spending like $60 million on a stadium. The other one's paid like $65 million. These are high school. Scanlan looking at you. Yeah. Yeah it's like Katie Allen. Allen I fucking love this.

I so I went to Allen and I didn't go to high school there and I'm kind of I love people from Allen but they also kind of have this, what's that? That's called Alan. Alan, Texas. It's my old home town that I lived that my parents live in but I don't go to school there anyways. They had one state championships. Oh wow. That's so sad. He's going through a restaurant. People are taking a photo. Oh, and they get like a, he's getting films by like a steady can. That's not sad. Going through a restaurant, people are taking a photo. Oh, and they got like a,

he's getting films by like a steady can. That's not like some kid's iPhone. That's like, yeah, no, this is like, it's like, I'm gonna film coverage. That's rough. Well anyways, they've won state championship like a couple of years in the Royal I guess or whatever and they got funding for this huge stadium

and everybody's like, just yiric in their dicks off and out because they think they're like, it's fucking best. Their stadium didn't pass some sort of code, and it was like this millions and millions of dollars worth of stuff and it's useless. Like they can't use it for a season. Because they were-

Yeah, because they- Like I'm just fixed the issue? I don't know, it's like some sort of structural thing. I read. Someone's gotten fired. There's a, I read a lot of- I laughed. I heard of a similar issue.

You know, in Seattle, Microsoft built that huge campus for Xbox, right? I think it was out there the other day. Well, they've got a huge, like, campus where like all the Xbox team is and all, like, they're a lot of first party software development. It's a beautiful campus. It's huge. If you've never been there, they've got like restaurants and stores. It's like a subdivision, right?

Like strip malls and stuff. Apparently when they were getting ready to open it, the city of Redmond Fire Department would not give their parking garage approval to be used because the roof was too low, their fire trucks couldn't get in. And they'd already built like this multi-level underground parking garage.

So the solution was Microsoft bought short fire engines for the city of Redfield Yeah, I guess that would be cheap. That is the cheaper solution. Wow you buy short fire engines to fit into the park and garage What does it look like? I wonder if they're like tumblers from Batman where they're like tanks they're like little Why that's one of those ideas? They're probably in a conference room like damn it How much is gonna cost to tear this down? I down, and then some idiot in the corner is like, just make the fire truck smaller.

It's like an intern just canning out mail. Just make smaller fire trucks. Get out of the idiot way, is that good? This is what we needed. Alright, I'm gonna rewind one more thing here. When I'm mind everyone, this episode of the podcast is also brought to you by Audible.com. Thanks to Audible.com for supporting this episode of the Ristuth podcast.

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That's audible.com slash rooster teeth. Thank you to Audible for sponsoring this podcast. Almost done with the third book in the Timothy's on Star Wars trilogy. I like it. I liked it a lot more when I was younger. It's interesting to go back and relist into it. It's like, oh, okay, like it's written at level. Is that the Thrawn one?

Yeah. The Thrawn's a great character. He's coming back for Rebels. Yeah. I'm excited about that. It's really, really. You watch Rebels? No.

But I like the character. I like the Thrawn. I think it was a really cool idea But now it's funny like listening to it now since a lot of that stuff has been retconned like this direction They went with the story like oh, no that didn't really happen or that doesn't really exist. It's all I Met Pablo Hidalgo. He was like the Canon keeper at Star Wars like he's part of their story group team together on time Mm-hmm. What? No, I was late too. Lucasfilm, I was fucking horrifying.

Anyways, he posts a lot of tweets and stuff like that. And people are always like, oh, is this can, is this can, is this can, and I think there's some kind of, I don't know, his statement about it was like, it's can and if you want it to be, or if you believe it to be, it was like, it was kind of a weird statement, but I don't know. I think you were saying something about throwing up in Canada anymore. It's just kind of like, I guess up to you. I don't know. I just feel like that should be an official statement on what is Canada and what is not.

Well, there it is. Yeah, I mean, there's an official line, like when Disney acquired them, they threw everything out. They were like, they called it legends. It's like in football where they catch a school cheating. They're like, you know, the national championship you want? Nope, you didn't win it. Yeah. It's like in college football where they catch a school cheating. They're like, you know the national championship you won? Nope. You didn't win it.

Legends. You lost all those, but that happened. You can't really, we lived the moment. Yeah, we knew. And it's like, no. You're going to give the trophy back. Yeah. Well, I guess, yeah, that's the practical aspect of it.

But it's just weird to say that didn't actually happen. And it's like, what are you going to do? It's still booster you're recruiting. Yeah, I can't undo that. Man. They send somebody in the past. Why? I was so annoyed on Saturday with how late the fucking Texas football game started.

Yeah, they delayed it to like 9.45 and those kids were playing until two in the morning. And they flew out that night. Oh yeah. Why? You watch football? I want to see it, yeah. What's wrong with that? No, no, I was watching it here. I was watching it on TV.

Oh, okay. Yeah, it went to like 130 in the morning. Yeah, it was fucking. It's like I just wanted, I just wanted to be done with this game. It was a good game, but it was late. I don't want to be watching football after midnight. Why don't you just record it? It got a bed.

They would have been ruined for me. Just watch it the next morning. It would have been ruined for me. How? I would have seen it like on the news like. Well not in bed, because you don't use your phone. My whole life isn't spent in bed Gavin. Right, you're done, you're tired, you wanna go to bed.

Record it, go to bed, wake up, watch the rest. Right but I would wake up, I'd like be checking the internet, reading the news. It was in bed. Now I would get up, I don't have a TV in my bedroom. Right, get up, go to the TV and watch it. You't have a TV in my bedroom right get up go to the TV and watch it You should get a TV in your bedroom If I got tickets to the UT game, I'll UT game. Would you go with me? Of course you are sure that's a lie. I've been I've been TV. I've wanted to watch

Bloody spurs play crystal palace We'll have this conversation just like we did last time and you're oh, it's too cold. I can't know outside, it's cold. People just like, it's worse than you and the matrix. Listen, it's gonna happen, all right? We've already decided the date, it's gonna happen. I actually got felt really bad because Gavin and I did establish a date.

We're like, all right, you're gonna come over Wednesday and you're gonna do this. We never, it was always like kind of cheeky joking around. And we didn't say a time, but you were like, very certain about it and I was like, I'm open that day. Absolutely. Let's do it But I had a shoot that day and I went and I took a nap and I overslept and I woke up to a text of Gavin holding the the matrix DVD with a beer and I felt like dog shit. I was like I'm so sorry

I overslept I'm so sorry and I just imagined you just like kind of waiting around and then like eventually just like alright fuck it I only took the bitch to be funny. We didn't really set a time March 11th really bad much 11th that see it's the same exact time We tried to watch it that one year and you were too cold. Let's go watch it in the UK That'll be even colder what you talk. Let's go watch it You want to go to the game? Let's go you would actually be in the stadium? Let's go to the game. Where is it? Is it White Halle?

Crystal Palace is home. Yeah. Yeah. Gavin, I'm gonna send you a Google invite for the Matrix. Send it to me. It will be an official, it'll be on our things. I'll get the beers in.

What time do you wanna do it? 8, 8 PM? Is that too late, too early? On on, Oh, yeah. There's Thursday. Well, that's not right. Could you, could you seven, because too late? On on F. Yeah, it was too late. Could you, could you, seven, because we got to shoot the next eight? You do in all three? No, just one.

Oh, you have to do all three. Because we can't do, it will be there to like four in the morning. Yeah. Yeah, well, we'll just do the first one. And if we're feeling it, keep going. Well, yeah. Absolutely. Their website doesn't work in Safari.

I'm trying to buy us tickets right now. But the links do not work in Safari. If we actually go, well, I'll be labored if I go all the way back to England, and I go to Christopher's instead of Spurs. I can't do that. What? I can't do that.

You can totally do that. We got some beers. Yeah, we'll be going. This will not happen. I would bet the price of the plane that this won't happen. Wait, the ticket, not the plane. No. I'm gonna make a wall of money.

I can't buy tickets at foreign events. How come? There's the first excuse, just wait. It's not, no. How come you can drink in a limo? Can I get to open container, lore? There are certain instances when it's okay. Is that where there's a divider? Maybe. Does that mean he's not in the same vehicle?

I don't know. In Vegas, you can drink in a taxi. Because I feel like when you hire a limo, you're hiring the man. It's called the government. He knows knows he can't drink so you should be able to drink but why doesn't that work for a taxi? Probably one of us is to an Uber. Well, you can do that in Vegas. But not here, not here. Texas has a word liquor loss. Why do you ask?

When was the last time you were in a limo? I've never been in a limo. I was just curious. You've never been in a limo? You see people like in the movies like Bevin' Up with Champagne in a limo. You're rated. No, limo. No, limo's are fucking great. Yeah. The last time I was in a limo. It rated. Limo. No, limo's are fucking great.

The last time I was in a limo, I know, limo's are disgusting. See, there's our biggest waste of moose. Yeah, limo's are awful. Yeah, limo's are best. I was in Vegas a few years ago, and I needed to get to the airport, and I was leaving my hotel,

and it was a super long taxi line. No taxi's were coming by, like, we weren't moving, and then this limo came by and dropped off some people, and the driver got out, looked at the line, and was like, but nobody needs a ride. You know this limo came by and dropped off some people and the driver got out looked at the line was like But nobody needs a ride you know limo right now like nobody in the line moved. I was like How much go to the airport? He's like 30 bucks like yes On the back seat just like it was like 30 bucks. I was like that's barely more than the tax

He's gonna cost me and I'm end, I'm gonna leave right now. I will not miss my flight. Like who are the people who hire a limo there? I assume like Bachelor Potty or Bachelor at Potty. I can tell you my story would have happened. So sometimes we get these opportunities with Rooster Teeth, where a company will be like, hey, we need some social promotions, stuff like that.

It's like, well, you know, you can do this. If you make a tweet about it, we'll, you know, do this, you know, for you. So like, that happened like, well, you know, you can do this if you make a tweet about it, we'll, you know, do this, you know, for you. So like, that happened to me once, actually twice within like two months, to where they're like, yeah, we'll send out a limo and come grab you before you do this thing, and I was like, oh, okay.

And ended up getting a limo to myself twice. I feel like I do those all the time, and it's like, yeah, get an Uber here for like five PM, and we'll see you then. Barbara, you got a limo sent to you? Barbara set up something, we were going to some scotch tasting event and they had like, she invited eight people and everybody was getting SUVs and stuff like that out to this event

and mine was running late, it was the limo's fault, not mine. Limbo came and picked me up and drives me to the front of this bar and there's this huge line and then all like Barbara and all of our friends are there and I get out of the limo alone And they're like you fucking asshole. Is that one of the coolest moments of you? Well, I'm so cool. I was just like Everyone else is like smuck. Yeah, because they drove like I drove us to Dan here You know, it's like yeah, and I had a limo all of myself. Yeah, I can't. I don't really see the appeal of a limo.

I don't see it. I mean, you all you need is one seat. I feel like I need a limo. Limos are disgusting, because I picture it. Yeah, there's just gizz everywhere in limos. Like, I don't wanna touch anything in a limo, because everything is just like covered in semen. That's the first thing I did

as I masturbated in the limo. See, I mean, if drinking is legal, then surely gizzizzing your pants and jizzing across the limo is also legal Well, if you're gonna do it, you might as well get your money It's like when you have a hotel with two beds. You only need one you're choosing the other one. Yeah What I'm getting my money's worth. I'm downloading Google events to send you this thing This is a serious. I'm you joke off in the bed that you're not gonna sleep in and then you sleep in the other way. You jerk off in the bed?

You don't jerk off in the bed? What do you do most? What? What do you do the majority of your jerking? Bad. Probably a shower. I mean your penis is probably really clean. Yeah, penis is clean.

Nothing romantic about that. Easy disposal. I'm. Nothing romantic about that. Easy disposal. I'm not fucking romancing my dick. What are you doing? I'm just rubbing it until it's spits. Brandon Z pulls his pants out, he lights a little candle. Right, I'm not buying it fucking dinner. It has no idea what it's missing.

You're just man-handling it. Put in tiny bits of steak down your eye. Oh, my god. You're taking it for granted Gus Yeah, I am I absolutely am cuz it's my dick. Okay. What's the weirdest place you've We just place it made it spit ever made my dick spit say I don't know I feel like I really don't have any weird place all about cany no have you not just think in like what would be weird to do in a hotel No I don't think I've ever really checked off

like in a weird place. I'm a Vidal kind of guy. What about you? You have any weird places? No. Yeah. I'm also just not like a, I'm not into like weird stuff on my own.

Yeah. I see you an invite and it has reminders reminders an hour before, 10 minutes before, five minutes before, and time of the event. So that's for you though. So we cannot miss it. It's for you too. So that you know that I'm coming to your house. You can set how often it reminds me?

Maybe. Maybe it's just for me. I don't know. I'll be really annoying if you can't actually. So you could if you wanted to, you could set one every minute for the day before I think I just did There's like for it. It's gonna happen. Yeah, we're doing it. I mean, I'm gonna be ready and there Yeah, so if it doesn't happen it's it's on me and I'm fully and if you're late

Well from late there's traffic and stuff Treat me like you do one of your women all right Be on time, okay, all right. Oh really Well, no, I don't want to be creepy. I don't be anxious being five minutes early is annoying As it is being five minutes late. You text me on time. You text me you're a you're just we'll talk about that later Yeah, I live on one two three Austin Street Austin Oh, you just like hang out hang out in front of someone's house like until it's the exact time that you should be there.

Yeah, absolutely. That's weird. I never wanna do it. That's weird, if they look out and they just see you there sitting in front of their house, that's weird. I never wanna be early all night. If I'm due to have a conference call at a certain time,

I wait until it's like 5,00 and then I dial. Yeah, I do the same thing. I wait till on the minute and then I dial in. Because that way I'm not just sat there in an empty conference. I don't have to listen to the fucking hold music. Yeah. Or like, awkwardly talk to the other people that are also with me. Oh yeah, yeah. Oh, how's it going? How's it going in Austin?

That's why they're here. You have Blaine, Brandon, Gavin, and Gus. Okay, on our end we have...aine, Brandon, Gavin, and Gus. Okay, on our end we have... Yeah, yeah, so. And I immediately forget. Yeah, I don't care. Great, cool.

Yeah, conference calls might be one of the worst things in the world. I don't like it when everyone's like, someone like throws out a question to the whole conference call and nobody takes charge. It's like nobody says anything. And then you think, well, I mean, I could answer this, but so could other people

I Don't want to go for it. I'm gonna go for it And then other people start talking at the same time. It's like we just talked over each other. I hate this Yeah, the worst then the annual is of the feeling of wanting to say Guys, do we get anything done here? Did we make any of the very end it's always like okay? So what are the next steps? This and this and this, all right. Could have been an email probably.

Yep. Someone did a little drawing over. Yeah, that is exactly accurate. That's exactly what I'm going to do. So thanks. We put that on the stream. Thanks, Katie Castle. I'll see if I can do that.

There's a guy, I think his name's Nate, that does art for just kind of the Rooster Teeth. He does it for Fun House as well. Let's see if we can find this guy. Nate boils. And he did a picture of me that I looked at it and I was like, I don't remember taking this photo and I was like, holy shit, that's like a digital painting. Oh wow.

So I'm gonna commission that guy. I've been trying to figure out what I was gonna do. There's this giant wall behind my bed. And I wanted to put a painting up there. So I think I'm gonna commission that guy. I think I've been trying to figure out what I was gonna do. There's this giant wall behind my bed. And I wanted to put a painting up there. So I think I'm gonna commission a piece. Of course. Yeah, where it's just me, a portrait of me, with like my hand, like Napoleonic style,

but with like a lightsaber and like maybe the Millennium Falcon. And I'm gonna like send, if he's interested in this. That is very you. I'm gonna send like all the shit just so I can have this portrait. Why don't you get one feel girlfriend? What a nice thing of HUD done. No, no of bling. That's weird. Why is that weird because that's not weird at all I just like wanted I don't know like a nice personalized like ultra custom gift

for her yeah He's saying one of her oh to, for her to have. Yeah. Not hanging above my bed. What? Didn't you were confused about the idea of getting her a gift? Yeah, I know, that's cool. I should absolutely do that. The only thing I ever give her is dick.

We have that drawing I was talking about. That's exactly what it was. I love that you drew you dreaming of Meg. Because the bottom of a pole is kind of soft like lips. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man.

I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man.

I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a nice. I just like how the cat in the second frame, the eyes went

all red. Like it was just like killer robot terminator. I'm trying to choke you. All right. Let's go and wrap this up. What are we, let's tease what we're going to talk about in the post show, though, right? Right? Because what do we talk about the post show, though? I don't know. Normally, we don't know. That's the thing. I know. So what do you blame? We will talk about. Tease what we're going to talk about in the post show. That's a great suggestion. I don't, I want will talk about? T's what we're going to talk about in the post show. That's a great suggestion. I don't, I want to talk to about conspiracy theories. I like talking about conspiracy theories.

We can get into that. So if you don't know, we broadcast the podcast live on Monday evenings exclusively for first members on our website. You can click on a link below to get a 30 day free trial. And our first members also get a post show. So normally we just continue talking for a little bit longer and I don't know, talk about whatever we want to. Maybe stuff that we missed in the normal podcast. I mean that's what we're going to do after this.

The post show does not stream live, but it's available at the same time as the normal podcast. That's it. We'll see you guys next week. Check out the newest RT short. It's funny. You did it. Bye. Describe the show to a newcomer in a more familiar way. Do you like apples? All right, example. Together in Trempathos, Characombs, Characombs are free to deal with nothing to do with this podcast.

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