Rooster Teeth Podcast - The Fake Fiancee - #448
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It's time to put your pedal to the metal.
From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland,
an executive producers, Will Arnett and Anthony Mackie
comes the new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal,
a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series.
Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motor-mouthed outsider
who must deliver a mysterious package
across a post-apocalyptic wasteland.
If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell,
Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church, twisted metal, streaming now, only only on peacock. Oh,
oh,
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oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, received podcast this week brought to you by Blue Apron, Casper, and Squarespace. I'm Gus.
Gavin.
I'm Josh.
I'm Chris.
I feel like immediately I need to talk about first week because we have a lot of people
watching what?
And Gus.
And Gus.
I'm sorry, I'm distracted.
I got you.
You understand why in about 30 seconds.
So we need to talk about first week because obviously there's a lot of people watching right
now on YouTube.
Normally, we livestream the podcast only for first members at's a lot of people watching right now on YouTube normally
We live stream the podcast only for first members at Roost teeth. This is live on YouTube. This is live on YouTube right now That's why I'm here. They brought out the big guns. The big guns got out here
So just so they're going to know what I like now. That was a joke
First what first week entails so all live broadcasts are gonna be free to watch just like this all week long
To celebrate the release of day five season two season one will be free to watch just like this all week long. To celebrate the release of day five season two,
season one will be free to watch all weeks
so you can get caught up, you won't feel left out.
Free previews of some of our first only shows
like theater mode, backwards compatible fan service.
And once again, like last first week,
we have stretch goals.
I learned some stuff when I found out our stretch goals.
We didn't know them.
Yeah, like the first one.
That's how it happens. Number 1,000, know them? Yeah, like the first time it happens.
Number 1,000, sexy Gus calendar.
You didn't know about that?
They talked about potentially doing a calendar.
I didn't know we were doing that.
3,000 subscribers, there'll be pets of RT Instagram account.
5,000, two bonus Ruby Chibi holiday episodes
at 8,000 new game time with Bernie.
At 13,000 first members.
We'll create an episode of cooking with Jeff and Gavin.
Did you know about that?
Uh, I feel like maybe Jeff mentioned it.
There you go.
And at 20,000 subscribers, you're going to learn how to drive in Bernie's car.
Do you know about that?
Right.
Well, it's the thing.
Like I'd never know that that for this, but someone did come up to me and say,
would you learn how to drive for a video?
And I responded only if I used Bernie's car.
Oh, there you go.
And I was on that.
So if you want to see all of these goals happen, you can sign up for FirstMembership.rst.com.
You get 30 days for free, check it out.
And you can help us reach our goal if you're already a first member by gifting a first membership
to a friend of yours who doesn't have it.
So.
Or enemy.
Check it out.
What?
Or enemy. Or enemy. Okay, or enemy. Check it out. What?
Or enemy.
Okay, so the reason I was flustered and I didn't say my name is we also have new shirts
that are first member exclusive and I was supposed to show them off and at five o'clock
on the fucking dot came straight.
Damn it comes running here with a very full cup of coffee and he spilled coffee all over
the shirts I have to show
Imagine these shirts without coffee and you'll get an idea of what the shirts are supposed to look like
First of all, we have a coffee
It's all the way to the back
To the other shirt as well.
Ristis first, I like that shirt.
I can get behind that one.
The fifth people like grape shirt, not so much.
It's not fun.
Why do we keep making this same shirt?
No, it's green, it's totally different.
So much mileage out of, it wasn't even a joke.
It was just a statement about people and grapes.
Well, people do like grapes.
I feel like, so is the plan to go for every...
They're slacking me. Do you want fresh shirts, coffee-free?
No, it's okay. Gavin already fucked it up.
Is the idea to make them every color of grape?
Is that why they've chosen that color?
What color's the left?
What other colors the grape are there?
What's that from my head?
What's their gray shirt?
There was, there's like rock and gray.
Yeah, well that was an inverted one
because the gray was the shirt
and then the text was purple.
Oh, okay, now we need a gray shirt with green text.
The inside of grapes are kind of gray.
Yeah, that's true.
You ever heard the cotton candy grapes?
Yeah, they're gross.
I hate it.
They're green though.
Yeah, what do you mean cotton candy?
They're like, I don't know what they do to them,
but just the way they're grown, they taste like cotton candy.
They don't like rub sugar on them or anything,
but they're really good.
It's like they're, they're selectively bred,
grapes across several generations to like bring out this trait
where they taste like cotton candy.
Yeah, they're available for like a month, they're in like July.
You think you can do that with people?
Well that's evolution, isn't it?
Yeah, but like breed people to where like certain,
I don't know like they're, they taste good.
Oh, like for flavor.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think the lemon did that.
Yeah, but like, all right.
Selectively breed people.
Also eat pineapple and all the other things
to make people taste good, right?
I don't know if it doesn't make people taste good.
I think it's limited.
It's part of the piss and semen stuff.
I think that might be what Chris is talking about.
Well, I don't know, it's not for interpretation.
You can do whatever you want.
You want to, you want to breed the best tasting man specimen.
Right.
Yeah, it's through multiple generations, like a hundred years from now,
who'll have it.
That's such a long term goal, though.
Yeah, but when the aliens come,
we'll know who to give them.
Well, so they get sucked off and enjoy it.
I'm going to get an inner-shiller blowjob.
No, no, no, I'm not Makana, he lives behind the bookcase.
Well, the aliens are here. They want to suck off one human.
Who have we got?
It has to be the best possible human or they're going to destroy the planet.
We've got to keep it.
You have to make sure he tastes good.
Is there a way to measure the most pleasant taste scientifically?
I'm not volunteering.
Someone's the best tasting semen on the planet.
Who is this man?
Someone who loves pineapple.
I mean, probably someone who likes it.
You're not supposed to eat too much pineapple
because it dissolves you a little bit, isn't it?
Yeah, that's why like tingles when you eat it.
Yeah, it dissolves you.
Yeah, it dissolves your mouth.
Yeah.
That's why pineapple burns a little bit when you eat it. It's because it's dissolving dissolves your mouth. Yeah. That's why I like pineapple burns a little bit when you eat it,
it's because it's dissolving inside of your mouth.
Oh.
Oh, yeah, don't eat too much.
So trade off, do you want a mouth?
Or do you want a good tasting, Simon?
That's the crux.
So this is actually a really good segue.
I read a story the other day, I've got a prop back here.
Okay.
I read a story the other day that the world record
for the longest penis got broken.
It's a man in Colleen whose penis is 19.1 inches long.
What?
So I heard that number and I thought that's a really big number.
So I asked for a tape measure because I wanted to show you guys exactly how big a night
was.
Let's go to the other one.
What's in what state is it?
You know what was funny?
I heard you earlier talking about 19 inches
and I almost made a joke about that being a big penis
cause like,
You could literally suck your own dick.
You wouldn't even have to try.
You could accidentally,
Yeah, you could, you could, you could, you could,
I accident it.
It's like two long dicks and to end.
Can I see you?
He's, he's, he's, he's in Colleen, Colleen, Texas.
I used to live there, unfortunately.
The amount of, oh, I do one other thing.
Let me show you before you give it to Chris.
It goes below the knee.
We can we he's in Texas.
Can we get him on the podcast?
Can we get some of them on the on FaceTime right now?
Well, how would we show it without being,
we have like six iPhones.
You're gonna get those little wide angle
of hatchet lenses on the iPhone.
Do we have anything we could measure it up against?
Yeah, hold on.
I'm gonna find just something.
So it's like, and the old record was 18.9 inches.
So how disappointed do you think you were that guy?
It's like, oh man.
Well, he's probably, I mean, give me that Well, he's probably mean right. Give me that.
God, could you imagine that both of them had a three way with a girl. They would be they could almost touch end and
It's bigger than the parking cone. There are of cones. Okay. can you lie down on your back and get roused for us?
No, okay, all right. I
Think that could go straight through someone. We just finding stuff. Yeah, that could go. How high is this table?
This is a system kids top stuff right here. We got prop. Yeah
Almost one hard drive bigger than the other.
That's measuring a computer now. Yeah. It's that big. It's as long as the
computer tower. Right. All right. Oh shit.
Well here, give me those shirts. Let me clean up this beer.
What high quality for shirts
You can even wear them. So we sell this specific one. We should watch these offer
Beer and coffee elaborate. There you go. Like there's there's no
Advantage to having something that big no, I mean it would you get like four inches into a woman and be like, you got her in someone.
Yeah.
What would you do with the rest of it?
You could hurt yourself.
You could like, you know where I was going.
Yeah.
If you, even if you could shop the whole thing off
and put the back of it into someone else,
they still wouldn't meet in the middle.
What are you doing, Chris?
I'm seeing what would happen if two people had a threesome.
One once in the middle.
Hold up.
Wait, are you doubling?
Are you just doubling?
Oh, okay.
Venus.
In the awful, right?
Yeah.
They would touch.
They would touch.
They would touch.
They would touch.
You're so happy about that, Chris. Oh, Chris just touch you. Dude.
You're so happy about that, Chris.
Chris just wants to be skewered.
Yeah.
They would touch somewhere, like, yeah, right by the stomach.
They'd say, bump and get to the lower lungs.
That's way too big.
I couldn't believe that story when I read it.
And then it was even more unbelievable when I popped out the tape measure and started measuring.
Yeah, do 19 again and do it from your mouth to like and hold it
Oh, your head back and see where it ends. Yeah, swordswaller
How did he get that?
You just call up Guinness book world records like hey, we come measure my dick
All right, put it down
Hey, we come to measure my dick.
All right, put it down.
Well, it would go out his back apparently, but it's like just like your kidney level.
It's like, yeah.
Well, the way you could have measured that,
you did it the hardest way.
Unbelievable.
Yeah, that's like, that's right.
I don't envy that, man.
That's through the pancreas.
Tell you get diabetes.
You could pawn jeans and trap the bellend in your knee
if you like bent your leg.
Yes.
I don't think you could wear shorts.
No.
No, that's a good thought.
Well, I mean, he's, that's erect, right?
I guess.
Yeah, I mean, if he got an erection while wearing shorts,
well, I mean, if it was a semi,
it was still to slip out the bottom.
Right.
But isn't when you're...
Unless he can bowl it up.
You might, I mean, might have some system.
But when you're that big,
like it doesn't actually get that hard,
I feel like I've read that.
I've read this.
Well, yeah, you probably pass out
because of the blood rushing from the rest of your blood.
You'd have to have, I mean,
is there a way to pump yourself full of extra blood?
Maybe you might.
Maybe you might.
I'm strong.
No, but like, okay, so you know how you have blood pressure?
I assume that's like how pressurized your blood is.
Sure.
So if you, you know, you get blood transfusions
whenever you go to the doctor and need more blood,
if you just give yourself extra, extra, you know, you get blood transfusions whenever you go to the doctor and you need more blood, if you just give yourself extra extra extra blood
Is that gonna give you like a firmer harder erection?
It's like you instead of like taking Viagra you like slowly leech blood off in the
And then put it all back in at once. Yeah, I feel like you need to be like a camel and have like a blood hump
Yeah, how are this extra light than your penis?
Just open your closet just just bags of blood.
Right before sex.
Like, let me hook it up.
Hold on, hold on, yeah.
Oh, that would be intimidating.
That would be, it would be quite a process.
Like hold up, I think I need more blood
to power my erection.
With human blood.
Yeah, that's crazy.
All right, anyway, we're gonna have to,
to other, what other segues do you have other less
less terrible topics?
Go on Chris action on the subject of Dix if if if I'm on I was having a discussion
earlier. I think with Jeremy, we were talking about getting your penis pierced
and you know how like like a prince Albert.
And we were talking about what's that one with the ladder?
Swink of ladder.
Jacob's ladder or so you have barbells through it going up the penis
My question is is when you get your penis pierced?
Do you because you have to do it flaccid?
Or a wrecked I assume you do it flaccid because here's the deal is if what if you do it flaccid. Because here's the deal, is if, what if you do it flaccid, and then you don't account for erections?
So, so then whenever you get erect,
all of a sudden it's like ripping and doesn't,
it's stretching and like.
I'm sure they haven't figured out.
Right, I'm sure,
because if you did it on an erect penis,
hey, who's gonna stay erect for that?
And you probably explode your cock.
What?
Like blood would just shoot everywhere, wouldn't it?
I don't know.
I don't know about this.
Just say one way or another.
I'm not even.
What we need to do is test this on someone who has extra penis
to spare so far.
Right.
Sorry, we don't have enough piercings in the shop.
We can't do anything with that.
Man, what a fucking great introduction of first week.
Well, for everyone watching.
It's just the first thing in first week.
I think so.
Welcome.
Welcome.
Thank you for joining us.
I did something really stupid and that I've never done before.
Last week I spilled an entire cup of water on my laptop.
Like right dead onto it, straight in the middle of it.
How?
We were filming Glitch Please and I had a glass of water
next to my laptop, and I was talking, and then I just...
So there's a long camera?
Yeah, no, sweet.
It's in the public version of the video,
and it just all went right into the laptop.
I wanna see it.
Yeah, you can watch it, it's on the website.
So I just shut it down, then I just started shaking it,
and like all the water, trying to get all the water out of it. Then I went and put it in my car for like four hours, because it was really hot that day to bake it down, then I just started shaking it and like all the water, trying to get all the water out of it.
Then I went and put it in my car for like four hours
because it was really hot that day to bake it out
and then opened it up and it turned back on.
Yeah, wow.
I mean, the war doesn't affect electronics.
Yeah, sure.
If it's off, right?
I don't know, man.
I wouldn't, like it affects some electronics,
like a microphone might be ruined.
But they actually like bored. I think you can have it wet if it's not on. I don't, like in fact some electronics, like a microphone might be ruined, but they actually like bored,
I think you can have it wet if it's not on.
I don't know.
But it was on.
It was on, we can.
Yeah.
And then I left it up for a while
because I was like an idiot.
I kept using it, I was like,
oh look, it still works.
And I was using it,
and then it shut off.
And I was like, oh, I probably should have shut it off.
Yeah, probably.
But it works, this is it.
It's still life.
Does the microphone work on it?
Yeah, I did.
I've called this morning.
Really?
Yeah.
I'm impressed.
Everything works.
Well built.
Yeah, I was honestly the a couple of days before that happened.
I was looking at replacing it because this one's super old already.
It's like, oh, OK.
You know, I wasn't that bummed about.
It's like, oh, I just backed it up.
I was getting ready to replace it.
Not the end of the world.
And the fucking came back to life.
I bet now we're just refuse to die.
No matter what you do.
Yeah, now I feel obligated to it.
Like now I can't get rid of it.
And stay fucking stuck around.
It's like Jon Snow.
You remember?
You got stabbed in the heart and came back.
Do you remember when Matt had that really old MacBook
for a long time?
He had a little Phil in it.
It was a video port on it.
Yeah.
And we were filming Captain Dynamic.
And Ed was just thumping on it with over and over again, and it still worked after that.
And it was Matt's actual working laptop.
For some reason we didn't have a prop on.
Yeah, we, uh, we didn't have a lot of props back then.
No, didn't do things right.
I spilled water on mine not long ago, and it did not fare as well as yours, and now the
mousepad's all fucked up.
So it like, it's like doing a Ouija board, like you put your fingers on it, but the
thing just goes like, or whatever, yeah, it's really creepy. Has it written any messages out to you?
No, I thought someone had hacked it that first though, because it would start opening things.
But you like press really hard on it. You can hear it like crunch out whatever's wrong with it,
and then it works for five minutes, then you got to repeat. Maybe you should just keep it in a
really hot place for like a Ouija. Put it in my car and let it bake. I can't believe it survived that.
Yeah.
I saw a video the other day, someone was like trying to debunk
a Ouija boards and like they get around like a group of people
and like they're asking one of the people about their grandfather
and the person's like, oh, I'm so happy my grandfather says
he's at peace.
And the person is making the video is like, oh, you believe this?
You think is, you know, the good way to communicate, you know,
across mediums, like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's like, okay, well, we're doing an experiment.
We're gonna do it.
We're gonna continue using the Ouija board,
but now we're gonna blindfold all of you.
Then you blindfold all of them, then has them do it.
And of course, like, it's not.
He even hid in letters.
This is like going nowhere.
And then they think they think the blindfold off.
I'm like, look, you asked your grandfather,
what year he died and he wrote ex,
Quiggle, nothing.
Have you ever done one?
No.
Don't want to mess with it.
No, it just doesn't,
no, it's not that I want to mess with it.
It just seems stupid.
We should do one on the podcast.
First week goal.
As any, anyone had a dead person on the podcast before?
We could be at first.
All right, what? Like have a dead guest on a podcast before? We could be at first. All right.
What?
Like have a dead guest?
Yeah.
The ghost.
The ghost.
Not actually like, cool.
I'm calling.
I'm calling.
I'm calling.
I'm calling.
I'm calling.
Whatever.
Whatever.
Whatever. How would, how would,
doesn't like Milton Bradley distribute the, like the, the, the one you can buy, like
it stores.
Yeah.
It just seems like such a weird product.
Communicate with the dead.
Brought to you by the
makers of sorry.
It's like when like when did we reach that point where this was like an occult thing which craft
and now it's a family fun home game. Harry Potter man. Harry Potter. It's got to been on like babysitters club or something,
like some pop cultural thing where it became accepted
and not ghost talk.
You know?
I feel most people aren't brave enough to even try it.
I'll do it.
Yeah.
I don't believe in it.
Yeah.
I don't believe in it.
But who's actually right?
If you and I did it and we spelled something out,
like what's the science there?
What do you mean?
It's just been an asshole spelling shit out.
Well, yeah, one of us is like, I don't know.
It depends on how forceful someone's lying.
Is it just subconscious?
Maybe.
I didn't even know who you're talking.
What if we just did it and we didn't ask
to talk to someone's grandpa, you know,
just see what happens.
Who'd you want to talk to?
If I could talk to anyone.
Yeah, like you have a wheelchair board right now.
Who you contact?
Who am I going to contact?
Well, I mean, obviously I don't want to talk to like some famous dead people, like maybe
I don't know why Hitler came to mind, but...
Why?
I don't know why.
You're going to get tips on how to breed people.
I feel like what, I'd be curious what he was thinking when he died.
Why he...
That's not a good answer.
Never mind. Go back. Someone else answered.
So, the most famous dead person you can think of is Hitler.
No, no, no, no. I ain't gonna come back and talk about the dick again.
That's why we normally cut stuff out.
Not this week.
It's everyone's watching.
Let me think.
I'll think of another.
But like, Amelia Earhart.
Yeah, I would like to know how she died.
I see him saving him right there.
Because I heard stuff about crabs.
What?
I heard things where she was like trapped on an island.
There's rumors.
Be it like crabs?
Yeah, like, she got trapped on a little island or something and tried to live there. And there were giant trapped on an island. There's rumors. Be it like crabs. Yeah, like she got trapped on a little island or something
and tried to live there and there were giant crabs
on the island and she ended up like a giant food source.
Yeah, well, whatever she might have died
or been haunted by giant crabs.
I also heard she ended up in Japan or something.
There's rumors of that.
I think that was the first of a prison rule.
Yeah, I think that was the first of a toss.
Yeah, I mean, I think that'd be a good thing.
Or maybe maybe other tragedies that we don't know what happened. I guess, I guess, JFK wouldn't know who shot him. What about the Harvey Oswald? Yeah, that's
seems to be true. You guys like the you a shot of me because I don't fucking, yeah. I was one of the same thing.
Yeah, I was one of the big one,
because he didn't live much longer after that.
Right, you never really found out.
How long was it, how long was even alive after JFK?
Just a couple of days, right?
Yeah.
It's crazy that that footage of him being bit
is on camera.
It's like the footage of that.
Yeah, it's a pruder film.
Yeah, no, that's the JFK. I'm saying. Oh,
I love all. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. JFK kind of makes sense. He's
the president. Still, I mean, he wasn't doing anything official.
Like it was a, it was a just a random person who had a
camera. Like you would think that like random people. But
also it was in like specific protection to prevent him
from getting a sense. That was also like a news event. He was being transported, you know, press was there like specific protection to prevent him from getting a sense that was also like a news event
He was being transported, you know press was there so I can see why they'd have a camera
Like the the JFK one is crazier to me just because just some random citizen had a happen to have a camera
It's just crazy that someone could walk up to
Lee Harvey Oswald and point blank shoot him and then get away and nobody knew what happened
Well, they caught him.
They knew it was.
But like in the moment they were like where did this guy go?
Where is he?
From that close.
Yeah, that's the face I'd make if I got shot.
Hey, yeah.
Ask him about that face too.
No, you know, I was thinking, I think I'd pick someone who, oh Jesus, maybe.
It's a real person. Do we say, oh Jesus, maybe?
Yeah.
Oh, that just popped my head,
but that'd be a good person to chat with.
Or someone who, way back in history,
we don't really know what happened to.
Someone before Alexander the Great
who also conquered a lot of the world, and I can't think of this name, but we don't really know much about him because who also conquered a lot of the world.
And I can't think of this name, but we don't really know much about them because there wasn't a lot of history.
Can you get con?
No, it wasn't him.
I don't know.
Who did you pick?
I don't know. I think I like the Amelia Earhart one. That's an interesting one.
I mean, I feel like she's been in the news again lately for some reason.
Yeah.
Who about you? Do you got one in mind?
I tell Monty how good Ruby turned out.
Look at you.
He wanted to know, right?
Uh-huh.
How does it work?
And I picked Hitler.
God damn it.
Gavin.
All right.
We'll get away.
You're the one that keeps bringing it up.
Nobody else is talking about that.
I saw this really crazy story earlier today
where this couple in the Bay Area
bought a private road in front of mansions for $90,000.
And now they're trying to figure out
how they can make money on it.
So they're thinking about charging all the millionaires in their houses to park on the street.
Well, there's not enough space in the mansion grounds to park.
I don't know.
We're just like, there's already cars parked there, like visitors maybe.
Wait, but aren't roads public?
How do you buy it?
This was a private road.
But it's the only road to these houses.
The houses are all built on it.
Apparently, they just never paid the property tax on the road for 30 years.
And it was only like $14 a year.
It was just like overlooked.
So the city repossessed the road and then put it up for auction to pay the tax bill.
And some couple bought it for $90,000.
That's a lot of money.
It's the block long private oval street lined by $35,000,000,000 mansions.
35 mansions.
So yeah, it's just an oval street.
It just looks like it's just south of the Presidio in San Francisco.
Someone bought it, another, they bought it two years ago.
They said they didn't tell anyone.
They just consulted an attorney.
They've been consulting a attorney for two years to figure out how to make sure that they legally,
you cannot be taken away from them.
Yeah, I guess just have like a membership to the road.
Or like spikes.
Make it a toll road.
Oh my God.
I mean, that would work.
And if they're multimillionaires,
then you just charge them like,
oh, it's a box to get to their house.
Absolutely crazy.
Even someone who lived there who was like a billionaire,
there's no way they'd be happy with that.
No.
Even if they were getting rents for like a dollar a time,
they'd be livid.
The unpaid taxes was $994.
That's it.
That's it.
They just overlooked paying it for three
decades. I didn't see how they can make money. They used to make over 90 grand
to be in profit. They sell the road back to them, back to the people who... Yeah,
who own it. When you own a road, where does that end and begin? Like, does that
include some? Does that go to the sidewalk? So they said that with this particular road,
it's an oval road that comes in off the street
and that at the point where it meets the public street,
that there's a guard shack there.
Okay.
So I imagine it's at that point when it branches off
of the public street.
And only the gravel of it.
Like you're on the grass, you're right.
Okay.
Hmm.
I guess I would replace it with quicksand or something shitty.
That then...
Then you spend more money.
That's out of spite for no reason.
Yeah, I'd make it crap and then make them
buy the road off me.
Oh, I see.
Rather than, yeah, you make it so...
I'd paint a load and an awning.
I'd paint a load of arches.
I'd turn it into a big tunnel
and I would line the top with birds nests.
So that's just like a fecal rain storm
as you drive through.
And I'd be like, by the road and I'll take the bird pool away.
What would you sell it for?
What's your markup on a road?
Well, I've already put in 90 of my own money.
Plus the turning fees.
Plus the turning.
Two years of a turnie.
Yeah, I'd probably want like 150 for it.
150? $150,000? No, you're selling cheap, attorney. Yeah, I probably want like 150 for it. 150?
$150,000?
Yeah.
No, you're selling cheap, man.
Yeah.
I mean, you've also got to think that, well, I mean,
they all got a band together to buy back their road or is it just
be one person?
They probably have to, I assume they have like an H away or something
that had owned it.
So I assume they'll band together and the H away would purchase it.
Oh, there it is.
There we go.
So it's 30 so with so many
mansions was squashed in like it's 35 millionaires. So if you
charge them a million dollars for it divided by 35, that's just
28,500 dollars each.
So you basically trapped those houses. Right? Like there's like seven
mansions on the inside that can't go anywhere. Like if you didn't want them to.
I feel like if you're rich enough to have a mansion,
you want some land as well.
Why would you want to be backed up against another mansion?
It's right by, I don't know, maybe it's right by the prosidio.
They figured they just walk over there.
Like I mean, it's just, it's real close.
Yeah.
Weird.
I don't know.
That's one of the weirdest stories I've read
in recent memory.
I can't imagine, like that's, you always hear like people
bitching about HOAs and how HOAs screw them over.
It's like you turn it around and you really screw the HOA over.
What it was just to say that they would do with the right.
She put it out to the internet.
They are hashtag talking about,
they can use hashtag RT podcast.
To let you know who is this independent saying that road is gonna make some dollars for those people
That's about it. If you're talking about we do board still
Let us know if you heard from him
Let us know if GFK knows anything
I don't know if you know anything. Yeah.
He doesn't even read this thing here.
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I'm a little sad that they took the tape measure away.
I know, I was like, it must have gotten away,
huh?
Imagine what that guy must feel.
Yeah, he gets in the way all this is.
You can't see that.
But Chris had put it where like it was right in front
of my face I
So should we sell a ruler that's 19 19.1
We should and we should call it like that unit of measurement should be that guy's name
What is it? I think he used a pseudonym because he wanted to predict his privacy
I think they said his name was Gary or something the Gary shot. Can we just sell a shirt that this 19.1 inches?
Yeah, it's one one-gerry.
There's extra smooths it might not fit on.
And then you go around.
What?
How much would you charge if you had that penis?
Yeah.
How much would you charge for someone to see it?
To see it?
Yeah.
90,000 dollars.
And anyone could just be like, I want to see it.
Yeah, yeah.
But to the pre-op lectures videos, just to see it.
I'd say 400 bucks.
Would you pay that to see it?
Would I pay it?
I don't think so.
Maybe like, could I get a bunch of people to chip in
and we all go, look at it.
You know, it's a 400 bucks each or 400 bucks total.
I think it's 400 a flash.
No.
Then people are gonna try to take advantage.
You get a bunch of people in there.
You get 400 people to pay one dollar.
Yeah.
I mean, the people at the back want to get a good view.
They might be, it's like an interest, man.
You might be able to touch it.
Like, how far away from a penis do you have to be before you can't really see it?
Well, the...
What?
Like, if I was here with my knob out, you'd see it.
If I was like right down the end at the far fence,
you could see that a distance that I'm just all flesh
below the belt.
We wouldn't see anything.
But you wouldn't see any detail.
Well, if you knew it was coming,
you'd bring binoculars.
Yeah, like what's the critical dick rate
of like distance?
Ah, probably 40 feet.
I don't know.
I'm sure it depends on the penis and the stance.
And the stance, yeah.
That guy could get into his three point stance without using his hands.
Like the best football player ever. He's like a fucking trying pod.
Just leaning forward ready to run.
So we've talked about this before, you and I, about that horizon milk that stays good forever.
Yeah. Have you ever seen that? Is that stays good forever. Yeah.
Have you ever seen that? Is that the one with the red?
It's red.
It's got like a cow on it.
Oh, yeah.
I buy that just because it stays good.
Yeah.
It's like it's good for like three months or something.
Yeah.
It's like a ridiculously long amount of time.
Do you refrigerate it?
Or no.
That's what I'm getting at.
I read this weekend that you don't have to refrigerate it before you open it.
He had a lot of.
But what is this stuff that I'm drinking?
Apparently, it's He haven't left. But, wow, what is this stuff that I'm drinking?
Apparently, it's ultra-pasturized.
So when they pasteurize it,
they use like a really high temperature.
And then once they seal it, it's fine.
You don't have to refrigerate it.
Once you open it, you do have to refrigerate it.
But that they don't keep it on the shelves
because people don't trust warm milk.
Like nobody would want to buy milk
on a warm shelf like that.
We should buy it at a HBB now.
And buy some and just leave it on the set.
For like a month.
For longer than a month.
It will last a month in the fridge once it's open,
but longer than we should leave it for a year
and see if we can drink it in a year.
Or just do the, just push it to the limit.
Maybe just do the three months.
Three months?
I think this once we open it,
we're committed to, you gotta drink it.
We're sending Ben. Okay. We're sending Ben. We'll get some of that open it. We're committed to... You got to drink it. We're sending Ben.
Okay.
We're sending Ben.
We'll get some of that weird milk.
Yeah, I bet.
In just in time, we could, we could, we could, Ben, get to, we could do one extra life
and the one next year's extra life.
Oh!
That's great! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, thing, yeah, because I've had times where it's been like Christmas time and I've gone home
for like a week or sometimes I've gone home
to renew my visa which takes way longer.
And I've come back and my milk is still good.
And that to me is insane.
Like living in England where all the milk I ever had
was bad and like, five days.
That's why I buy it.
Like I know, like I don't drink a lot of milk
and if I'm traveling.
Yeah, I mainly just have it like cereal
and puttin' it in tea and stuff.
They said that there's,
when I read the article I read, said there was another brand that did it also
Stonyfield but I've never seen that one. The only one I know is that horizon.
I feel like the times I've been to Europe not not England but my brother lives in Berlin like they drink
Warm milk too or like when they buy it. It's warm like Like when I wanted fresh milk or like refrigerated milk,
it was hard to find in my, like,
relithes by marriage.
My brother's German wife thought I was a weirdo
for wanting cold milk and I was like,
I don't know.
You want milk on the rocks?
Yeah, it was strange.
I mean, that's how it comes out.
Well, yeah.
Yeah.
It's naturally warm. Yeah. It's all, it's naturally warm.
Yeah.
But I guess the thing is just to do with the way
you grew up drinking it.
If you grew up drinking it,
warm is probably weird to have it ice cold.
Oh, someone on Twitter,
C.C. Caputo says,
you wouldn't need your cold mailbox anymore.
There you go.
Crap invention.
Yeah, you're what?
Well, I thought it'd be a good invention.
Because if you get groceries delivered, right, and there's milk in there, and we love
in Texas, it'll go hot.
Uh-huh.
So it was like an ice box or a cold mailbox.
The fridge rate.
Well, I was funny about it.
It makes sense, and they just slopp all the milk in there.
And then you have to rush home and save your milk.
They just have them fridge outside outside by your front lawn.
That's what we said.
Look, if I just put a mini fridge out of some of my front doors,
someone's gonna nick it.
Yeah.
Just chain it.
So you, what?
It's gonna look so ugly, a chained up fridge.
It's like, so much crashing off.
What if someone just came in like,
was just taking your groceries?
What?
If they just open your account here.
Yeah, why would they check it?
Like nobody nicks your mail.
Sometimes it happens.
Did people stolen your mail before?
But people have their mail stolen.
That's a federal fence.
So there's nicking milk, bro.
I don't know about milk.
That's local.
Yeah, that's like such a mild crime.
No one's even saying he stole my milk. If someone ate my milk, I would be equally
annoyed. If someone, if someone, if you call a police officer, you're like, yes
officer, someone stole my milk. And they're like, from what? Well,
I had this fridge mailbox. And he's like, you have a mailbox fridge. He's like,
yeah, because sometimes I like to get groceries delivered and bubble. Get it still from the local milk people. So Patrick is saying that milk leaves the
cow at 101 degrees Fahrenheit and is promptly cooled and stored at 40 degrees Fahrenheit.
So not frozen, but close. Yeah, that's some hot milk, 101. Yeah. And I looked up ultra
pasteurization, which is that process that they use for horizon.
It's a process of heating milk to approximately 280 degrees Fahrenheit for just two seconds,
and then chilling it back down rapidly.
Two seconds.
Why was if you go longer, so it stopped evaporating?
I guess.
I don't know.
Have you ever had fresh, fresh milk from a milk?
I mean from a milk? From milk from a moomoo.
Yeah, do move fresh.
Cal, got it.
It's a movie fresh milk from a cow.
I've had fresh goat milk, but I've never had fresh cow milk.
I've never had fresh milk other than maybe when I was a baby.
Can we get bent to go and get a cow?
Well, you know, would you suck straight from a cow?
Like, like I just know my like squirting into my mouth Can we get Ben to go and get a cow? Well, you got it. Would you suck straight from a cow?
Like, I'm sure, like squirting into my mouth
or actually sucking on the teeth either.
It's not as much difference, really.
Well, one's a little grocer.
Yeah, I would.
Yeah, I think I would.
I would just, if someone was like,
or if I guess I could do it, if...
LAUGHTER
Oh. I could I would do that. Josh? Yeah, I'd probably do it. I mean, man, what if you're a little I'll do it once anything once. What's the gnarliest grossest thing you've ever
done? Oh, like on the level of sucking straight from a tower to
Mine would have been something on extra live stream. I ate like a oh god
Oh, like you guys find great fighter and egg and all that weird stuff and then baby birded it to
I ate that double down with jack's beard hair
with Jack's beard hair. Oh, I'm out of cheese.
Yeah, that was pretty bad.
I can't think of mine.
I remember we used to trick my little brother
into drinking pee that was in Mountain Dew bottles as a kid.
Oh, what?
Well, it was most of my older brother who did it.
I remember one trip we were driving,
we were riding in my dad's truck,
and he had my, no, is my two younger brothers. The older one that two had, I remember one trip we were driving, we were riding in my dad's truck and
He had my, no, is my two younger brothers. The older one of the two had made the younger one drink and he just started crying and knowing new why
What's wrong? And then the you know eventually got out that he had pissed in this mountain due bottle and made him drink it and then my dad was like, All right, I can either pull over and spank your ass right now or you can take a big chug from
over and spank your ass right now, or you can take a big chug from it.
So, he just decided he's gonna drink it.
So he takes the bottle and he puts it to his lips
and he tries to fool people that he's like,
you know, drinking it,
doing that sideways trick where it's perfect.
And then my older brother goes,
wham, my knocks are just gonna straight down his throat.
And he stops the second, like he puts it down
and he stops and he's fine and all of a sudden.
He's so tall.
So yeah, this is what we do in our family.
We drink our own piss.
How much would it take for you to drink your own pee?
Depends how much it's directly behind you.
Pineapple I get.
I don't know.
Say you're the tastiest man on earth.
I should taste the SP on earth.
Just be.
Well, then it would probably, probably not much.
I don't know, I'd probably, I'd probably do it
under some, some, could I fun-living?
Straight past my taste buds like into the gullet
through a hose.
No, all right.
I wouldn't do it.
Yeah, I have a neighbor who is a friend like growing up like there weren't many kids in my town and like this guy
I don't know we were just friends because we were approximately the same age
But like I never even as a kid I never really like hanging out with him because I knew he would lie all the time.
And like pathological lie or like stuff that's not even important.
Just like, oh yeah, I went.
Just for the sake of it.
To the grocery store today, like no, you didn't.
I know you didn't.
You've been with me all day.
But don't you remember?
We went to the grocery store.
And yeah, he told a story like that once that he was,
and again, lies about stuff. Why would you lie about this?
Sounds familiar in the stayin' age, but
He told a story once about how he was
Taking a piss at the toilet beside you want to know what it tasted like so he pointed it up at his mouth and drank it
And I was like, I know you didn't do that dude
Easy ways and try and why are you telling me this?
Like, this is a story.
You're telling me to like,
I don't know, like impress me or befriend.
Like, it's such a weird story.
You just won impressed.
I was not impressed.
But I remember it to this day,
we must have been like nine.
And I was like, no, that didn't happen.
You ever had to like hang out with people like that
when you're young, very
like people. Yeah, you're just, it's proximity.
You're close, you're physically close and you don't have a car or anyway to,
to get anywhere else trapped in the lives. Yeah.
So they five coming out, right, came out and yesterday.
Yeah, yeah.
I already canceled.
How many episodes is it this season?
I mean, eight eight episodes.
Okay.
Yes, two more. And straight through. There's no season breaks or anything. It's eight eight episodes is it this season? I mean, eight episodes. Yeah, two more.
And straight through, there's no season breaks,
there ain't any eight episodes.
And it's cool.
Yeah, the whole first season is free right now on Rich Steath.
So you're looking around all 50.
I don't know.
I was looking, I don't know,
I was verifying that that is correct information.
Yeah, it's correct.
All right, yeah, live right now,
you can go to Rich Steath.
So people who are like,
I haven't watched the first season yet, now you have no choice. You, it's correct. All right, yeah, live right now. You can go to Roussa. So people who are like, uh, I haven't watched the first season yet.
Now you have no choice.
You can have no choice.
You have to watch it.
There will be a quiz.
We should have a version where it's episode one of season two.
And it's just previously on day five.
And it just shows every single thing like back to back every.
It's just a foreign.
I see how long people got to be watching.
Like, is this just a whole episode?
But you bet you have like the play bar at the bottom.
Yeah, long it is.
Cause how long is the first season?
It's about four and a half hours.
Yeah, it's not terribly.
I mean, you could do it in a day, easy.
Yeah, super bingeable.
You could do it tonight and it will still be today
by the time you finish. Yeah,
yeah, that's good math. So in some places, and you also filmed a lot longer this time. We
did. Yeah, I'm shocked that it's out already. I figured post would have taken a lot longer.
I mean, well, we did it concurrently. So we started shooting. We shot for 13 straight weeks.
So three, three months straight, which is the longest Ruchigi's ever had. I think the first season was the last record holder
at 10 weeks.
But yeah, and we started shooting mid-February.
And so even after the first week we were already in post,
why would be on set, show running,
or directing if it was a specific episode.
And then I would basically like any free days
I'd be in the post house,
to already cutting stuff.
Do you shoot in order?
No.
It was the most out of order shoot ever.
Because we blocked shot it like a feature film.
So we had to do it by location.
So for instance, we went to Alpine and Marfa
for three weeks and filmed out there.
And we had pieces of all eight episodes
that take place out there.
And so that meant having different directors out there.
I mean, Chris and Aaron, and then we have two other directors, the seasons, Stu and Max. So some, there were days where
four directors would hand off the reins in a single day because yeah, it was, it was madness.
Yeah. And the wind destroyed our set in West Texas too. We built this big beautiful camp set.
And the day one, it just picked it up and threw it. And we're like, well, cool, we're going to a sound stage. So everything, everything, I mean,
Porta Potty's kept flipped over,
which is shit, everyone.
It's saying there was no footage of that open stuff.
Yeah, well, yeah.
It's hard to film that stuff,
because it just happened.
You just be sitting there all of a sudden,
be like, God's just like, yeah,
it was like a big just dust tornado came through,
and it was gone, like five minutes it was wiped out.
How long did it take to build? Like two weeks. And it's gone, it was like a big just dust tornado came through and it was gone like five minutes was wiped out. How long did it take to build?
Like two weeks.
It was gone.
Yeah, it's awful.
It was great.
It was great morale.
So is that bad enough to be like an insurance claim at that point?
Yes.
Nice.
Yeah.
Yeah, which is weird.
It was you should think of like the weather that would impact a shoot.
I feel like wind is not the first thing.
You know, it's like lightning or rainstorms or something.
But didn't that happen as well on the first,
not the first hours, the episode one shoot
didn't let her that stuff blow away on Star Wars 3-1?
I think the strip one.
I think the strip one.
There's a trade in bargo on it.
So you all rebuilt that, that tent city
and it looked fucking amazing.
Yeah, it was cool.
And there were like three or four iterations of it too.
We'd, over here next door at stage three,
we rebuilt a tent, but there were like,
there was one that was like more of this supposed
to be the interior and then there was like an outer perimeter
and there was kind of like a big family tent
and they would just redo.
So again, we'd block shot.
So if there was any episodes that required
the interior of the camp, we'd have to shoot them then
and then rebuild it, take a day to rebuild them.
I walked through that set with you
and like when you walked in,
if you were in the middle of it,
it felt like you were in the desert,
like in the middle of a cap somewhere,
it didn't seem at all like you were on a stage.
Yeah, I would actually go between takes
or if they were changing camera sets,
and I was directing,
I would go take a nap in one of the other tents
and just make the PAs find me.
You could have blown away, Josh.
Yeah, I could have been killed.
I could have been.
Yeah.
I'm sad I died in the first season.
I couldn't be in this one.
Did you have any lines or was it just you just did your thing?
And that was it.
Did I have a line?
Oh yeah, I guess.
I said occupied.
Oh yeah.
A little back and forth.
Yeah.
It was funny.
It was good cameo.
Yeah, everyone was like, it was really dark.
Did you actually get in? Yeah, climbed up in there.
Yeah.
I did go push in.
Yeah.
We built that specially for the show too, because it turns out that we is a morgwall, right?
When we've got morgwalls like you see on shows, but morgs don't look like that anymore.
Like they're basically walking freezers now.
Oh.
Yeah.
And so we couldn't find one to film in.
So we blew a bunch of money just building a wall
and only two of the drawers actually work.
I'm glad you didn't make me get in a real mold.
No.
I can't do about it yet,
because Lays team two is an out.
But there's like a scene that happens in that very same place.
It's like a quite an important scene in the movie.
But in the exact same area where
I was once in a morgue drawer. Yeah, crazy how much just happened literally in that exact
spot. Yeah, and that's the same room we also filmed all the briefing scenes for a little
more roosters. Yeah, the big round table. There you are in D5. There you are. There's me.
Got on a plane like an hour. Yeah, I was you were filming filming that, let's play battle thing, right?
Yeah, right.
I think we talked about this before
how that came to be.
I was like, hey, what are you gonna do
if you're seeing something like this?
I just saw you running through the backline.
I was like, all right Chris, and you're like,
you want to be in day five tomorrow?
I was like, all right.
Go to the airport, but sure.
Yeah.
And that's one of the tough things with the show
that was finding good cameos for Rupert talent
and not making it distracting.
Because I think it's really easy to be like,
even if you just threw someone in the background
as a body, you'd be like, oh, there's Bernie,
but there's like a really emotional scene
in the foreground, so you're like, it'll blow you out.
It's like a slot in a man where it's appropriate.
Yeah.
So it was a fun come in.
Someone was asking a question, who is this? CJ gamer ATX asks,
what was the funnest episode you did? The funnest. At first I thought it said funniest.
Maybe he meant funniest. Well it's hard to say because on a particular episode there's
so many different types of scenes and tones and yeah because there are a lot of actual comedic
different types of scenes and tones. Yeah.
Because there are a lot of actual comedic scenes.
But then also a lot of like,
cry stuff and action and stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
There's more action this season, which is fun.
We had really fun guest stars.
We had William Sadler, who is a death
in Bill and Ted's bogus journey.
He's in Shawshank, where they've been in Shawshank.
He's the main guy in Demon Knight.
He's the guy that said,
I felt to him, right, in Shawshank,
by the old dude.
Yeah.
And then, he's the naked yoga bad guy
and I heard too.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
The first, like, the opening shot of that villain,
this is Oz.
What I talked to him about that scene,
he said that that was not in the script
and that was Rene Harlan.
He said, yeah, Rene Harlan came over before the day
before they were spills to shoot.
And was like, oh yeah, I think this would be better
if you were naked.
And so he had them punt the scene to the end of the
diehard two shoot so that he could get in good enough shape
to be naked.
Get the butt looking good, yeah.
I thought you were gonna say so you get,
if you put it to the end that way,
you could ask for more money
because they already have to hold the film. It's like, well, shit, we can't get that.
Yeah.
No, it's cool.
I mean, weird enough I ran into him.
I didn't talk to him anything, but I saw him on the street in New York when I was there
for the laser team premiere, like a year and a half ago.
So it was weird that like a year later, he was actually in our production.
So it's like, yeah, it's cool when you get to work with people and you just like lightly
crossed paths before. Yeah. It's a nice ice break sometimes. Yeah.
So is it, was it stressful? Was it like pretty smooth?
Do you get really annoyed one day? Do you throw anything?
Not at someone. I mean, you disappeared for a long time. I did. That was the drugs.
No, the, yeah, it was, it was tough.
It was a really tough shoot.
Like it was, it was super fun, but it was definitely,
I mean, just because of the order we shot in
and overlapping posts with shooting,
which is like if I, my, my wasn't on set,
I was definitely doing something.
We also like rewrote a lot.
Like while we were shooting.
While we were shooting, yeah,
and because we weren't filming in order,
we had times where we had written and filmed a pay-off scene in episode eight and still had to basically retro revise scenes from like episode five and six or something to make them fit.
And it's just like trying to keep track of all that stuff is just madness.
Yeah, but it looked, I think it worked.
Yeah, no, it all, I don't know how.
I know. I don't know how, but it all came together and makes sense and it feels really good.
Yeah.
The camp stuff, I'm super happy with.
Because really, that's a bunch of locations.
And we did that in season one, too.
There's the episode where we had Joe Estevez
where he's a crazy news reporter.
And that new station is actually like five different locations
stitched together, depending on the shot.
So yeah.
So which episode do you most look before it's coming out?
Seven, eight.
For the end.
Yeah.
The end's good.
I don't, I think we weren't super like,
we'd always kind of felt like,
because we had the original season one,
we had written as 10 episodes initially,
we had a 10 episode outline.
We crunched it down to six,
and then at the end,
I think we kind of felt like we would have like seven episodes
to really kind of be able to flesh it out.
And then because of that,
we always felt like at the ending,
we left a little bit too much out,
like you need to just a little more of a seasonal answer.
And I think we really got to stick the landing for season two.
Yeah.
Like, I really, I really like the cost.
Like we see him quite a lot of events and stuff.
And they're always about, they're real fun to shoot the shit and get drunk with.
Yeah.
Yeah, especially Walker.
Get him drunk.
No.
Keep trying to marry his aunt.
So if she's out there, Shannon, if you're watching, what, what does he have a hot
aunt or something?
Yeah.
And Shannon.
If any loves you, talk about it.
Yeah.
So I told we're going to get married and we're going to be called Shin Anigan.
That's a good one.
No, in the episode, come out every Sunday, right?
Every Sunday, yeah.
So the premier just came out last Sunday and I'll run for seven more weeks.
Have you said about how long the whole time wise the whole thing will be?
Time wise, like running time?
Yeah, it's like six hours for the whole season.
Yeah.
They're like TV hour, 45 minute episodes.
We got delivery over here.
Is that the milk?
Is that the milk?
Let's see the milk. Okay, I do recognize this carton. I got delivery over here. Is that the milk? Is that the milk? Let's see the milk.
Okay, I do recognize this carton.
I've definitely seen this.
All right, can you get a sharpie also?
Okay, they're cold right now,
because like I said, they sell them.
So these expire on December 21st, September.
All right.
That's crazy.
It says, it's not even the 21st of August.
Well, just a best if open by sell by date.
That's not best.
It's open by then.
So it's over a month.
Let me show the day on the talk.
That's why you said it was like three months.
That is insane.
That's milk.
How does it last that long?
Okay, so this one, I'm going to dry it off here on the front.
And I'm going gonna write extra life 2017
Okay, you're watching it right here
It's still kind of wet so I'm gonna wait because it's the sharpies wiping off. Okay, well wait at the end of the episode
I'll write it on there
Could I get a paper towel or two also? That way I can dry it off.
You know, the last two extra lives I've chugged milk.
Oh, well this is not the one I get.
You're the one who's doing it.
I'm not doing it again.
Should we get Aaron Chuggmilt?
He's lactose intolerant, so I'll be there at a better show.
It might be this too.
Some reason he's always chugged milk there.
Here, let me read this thing here.
Hey, it's TPG.
What's up, man?
What I'm gonna mind everyone,
this episode of Receive Podcast is brought to you by
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So thanks to Caspers sponsoring this episode of the Ristuth podcast.
I have a question about presidents. Okay. So Trump is the 40 or fifth I believe, boy, fifth, but there was once a president who he did eight years, but not back to back.
Correct. Yeah. So does that mean he was two of the presidents? I believe so, yes. Yeah.
He counts as two numbers. Yeah. So he was like the 20th and the 22nd.
Right.
Yeah.
Okay.
This is broken system in it.
Well, it trumps the 44th president.
44th different, but he's the 45th in a row.
Yeah.
He's still the 45th.
Oh, logically.
Is he still the 45th?
Yeah.
It's like, if we'd all be really mad if this happened,
but if Lucasfilm repackaged Star Wars Episode 1
and released it as Episode 8, it would still be Episode 8,
even though it's already come out.
All right.
And that was what I was thinking about
in the shower this morning.
So Patrick sent me something from this milk brand's FAC.
How long can I keep rising milk products
after the date on the package?
The date on the package is called the Best Buy Date
to ensure they use the wrong insure,
to ensure the highest quality and best tasting product.
We always recommend using products
by the date stamped on the container.
Products open before the Best Buy Date
should be refrigerated at all times.
I should stay fresh for approximately seven days after opening. Okay. Seven days? Horizon,
I've died of not. Way longer than that. Horizon, single-star products are specifically
processed, whatever it doesn't matter, those are single-star products. Okay, so that's it. I've done
like 47 days. I've done the whole thing. I'll go through the whole refrigerator section. I'll
find the one with the date furthest in the future. Yeah, that's what I did. Yeah, I do that too. Yeah
We're all doing the same thing
Does everyone do that? Everyone just take from the back. Yeah to get the yeah, unruined. Take it stuff
Strah
So there's some poor guy that always gets like the one day. He's got one drink is milk
Yeah, I bet because everyone does that though if If people do it without even reading or looking,
the freshest stuff is probably at the front.
All right, that's extra life 2017.
Okay.
You wanna get close up with that on there?
Okay, that's kinda hard to see.
It's like kind of faded.
What are you gonna do to just set it on the shelf back there?
Yeah, we'll set it one here and one over there.
When is extra life?
It's in November.
November 11th is this year.
All right.
You go. All right. All right.
Look at that.
I'm going to try to come back to actual life this year.
I'm not going to do a cheese master late night thing.
I'll probably come in the middle of the day.
We'll see.
Yeah.
Have a respectful video game time.
Sure.
Oh, man.
I got into something this week.
It's beginning to video games.
People have been talking about this forever.
And here's 2018. OK. People have been talking about this forever. And here's 2018.
People have been talking about this game forever
and I just missed it and I finally got into it.
I don't know if anyone here plays it.
I started playing Stardew Valley.
Oh, damn yeah, I played that for a while.
Fuck, like I tried it once before
and I just really didn't grab it.
I really didn't get into it.
But man, this weekend, like it's all I could think about.
Like I would fall asleep thinking about Stardew Valley then in the morning my eyes would open up. I'd be like get into it. But man, this weekend, like, it's all I could think about. Like, I would fall asleep thinking about Stardew Valley. Then in the morning,
my eyes would open up. I'd be like, okay, I'm going to do this. Have you got to the bottom
of the minds yet? No, I'm on level 25 of the minds. Oh, you got a ways to go. Yeah. We're
kind of, wait, what kind of game is you? It's some dog shit little farming game. Yeah, you're
a, you're a character who inherits a farm and are used to manage the farm. You like
clean up the field, you decide what to plant.
You have to water it every day, then you go to town
and like sell your crops or buy new seeds,
and then there's a mine you can go to,
and you can mine or and make metal bars
to make other equipment.
It's a lot about time management and like planning your day.
It's just that other game.
But it wasn't. My craft?
No.
That came out on Super Nintendo in 64, the farming game. FOM., but it was my craft. No, um, that came out on Super Nintendo and 64 the farming game
Fum no, it's a farm. No, the farming game in harvest moon
His study value so this is a
Planting some corn by the looks of it war you got make sure all the crops are watered every day
Yeah, I finally got a recipe for a sprinkler and I was so excited
But it's like that shitty first sprinkler you get.
It does for you does as far as I spent so much time getting copper and iron for that. I got so fucking mad.
Yeah, you can work the way up farming game.
A ridium and stuff.
And when you like upgrade a tool, you have to take it to some bloke and then he keeps it for like over a day.
It's bullshit. I haven't done that yet.
We had it the days, are there in-game days
or is it like real time?
In-game days.
But you have to make sure you're,
like if you're deep in the minds,
you have to make sure you get back home,
otherwise you pass out from being tired
and you lose some crap.
I was almost happening to be what?
So I got in my bed like midnight on the dot.
I had, I think I only played it for two or three weeks,
but it was like every spare moment,
I would just load it up.
I put boot camp on my Mac just so I could play it
before it was in Mac version.
And the moment I sort of didn't play it one day,
I was like, I think I'm done with it
and I just never touched it again,
because it was too much.
Well, you're making it much.
Which version, which is really scary?
Oh shit!
Are you serious?
Yeah, that's coming out later this year. Oh no!
So like, now I don't want to get too invested in it
I'm just gonna redo it on the switch when that comes out. God
Anyway, like you said, it sounds really dumb
But I don't know, there's something about it. It just grabs you.
And there's so much to it as well
There was this whole part of the game that I didn't even touch
Like, you can give people a gift every day
Two gifts and then you have to like, give people the right stuff.
Didn't do any of that.
Didn't give a shit about that.
I wanted to farm, and I wanted to mine,
and catch some crabs and shit.
But I didn't want to talk to anyone else in the game.
Yeah, you can like romance some of the characters
if they're seeing those.
That's a whole other side.
You can find out like what they like
and what they don't like.
Everyone has a schedule, like on certain days of the week,
like, you know, like, oh,
someone's also going to be at home because it's Monday, but if it was Saturday,
she'd be at the market right now.
Or, you see stalk people.
Yeah.
And that's old abandoned stalker.
It's an abandoned house with,
oh, shit.
With we had like flowy, blobby things
and you have to complete.
If you just get crap, what are they?
I didn't ever do that.
I filled out a few of them,
through those pages.
They have like, so addictive.
Dating simulator games, right?
Yeah.
The thing, right?
Because isn't everyone playing that dream-daddy game right now?
I played it a little bit.
Yeah.
People are really into that.
What was that about?
I believe your, from the, I just played a little bit
of the opening bit with the no,
I wanted their livestream.
You're a dude with a daughter who moves to a new town and you meet like all the other dudes
in the town and figure out like who you want to romance from them or who like it's a compatible
match right here.
Okay.
Thank you.
But what was I say?
Oh, the one I played, I've played the most is that how to full boyfriend,
which is the pigeon dating simulator,
where you figure out which pigeon is the best match for you
and you go on to date with it.
Are you a pigeon?
I don't remember.
Maybe, maybe not.
You don't remember when you were trying to date a bird?
I think you're a pigeon too.
It was a, you're a human?
You're a human of shag's pigeons?
It's a whole story thing.
Huh.
Look, I'm not gonna judge.
What is that kind of switch?
That's what I want to know.
Ha, ha, ha.
Yeah, I played that one a couple of years ago,
but I mean, it's like, it's so dumb.
It's just like,
That picture just showed two pigeons kissing there. That's just, man, happening. There's people. That's like
their human personas. Oh, I feel like Tinder and all the dating apps are just video games,
but in real, you know, like, they're dating simulators. Yeah. You know, do you still do that stuff? Tinder and that
Yeah, you know, even worried that someone will know who you are there
From this. Yeah, yeah, I tried to avoid that. I don't have any public stuff on me
You know, I don't have it my I don't have like my public Instagram link to it or anything like that
If you use your real name, people find it, right?
I don't know how to.
I don't know how to.
I just just Chris.
Alright.
Yeah.
Funny Chris.
No, I had a, just a while ago, a while ago.
I had a, I was mean up with a girl at a bar and I go to this bar and I, and I'm, if they were a little early, so I sit down and I sit,
there's like, I was said at this bar, so when this other girl who,
I, I sat next to my sit down, she just looks at me like,
like big guys, big guys.
I'm like, oh, is someone sitting here?
And she was like, no, no, you can sit here.
And then so I sit down and I just I order
a beer and I'm waiting and waiting and then she starts like thumping my leg like this.
But she's not looking at me. So she's faced away and just like thumping my leg and I'm like
and I look over and there's this like old dude talking to her. Oh, and she's like, and
I was like, oh, she wants me to like rescue. Yeah, so I was like, I start, I'm
like, oh, hey, and I'm like, act like we know each other, you know, and we're talking. And
then this old dude's like, he's drunk. She's like, you know, we're talking. She's like,
help me. You know, just like, oh God. So then she, and then he was like, so how do you guys know each other?
He's really drunk.
And I was like, we're engaged.
Who said you said that?
Oh my God.
She looks to the other side and she's like, oh man.
No, wait, that's it. And he was like, prove it. Well, he didn't say prove it, but he was like,
what do you mean, how do you know,
because I walked up, I was like,
is he sitting there?
I didn't have a ring or anything.
I had to come up with a whole backstory
why we didn't believe in rings and stuff.
Why don't you believe in rings?
Well, it was an anti-religious thing because we
wanted to believe that like, their love is not should not be bound by materials and it should be
like open and it was an emotional connection, not a physical connection. It helped me.
And he helped me. And then, but no, but so then, but then we kept,
we kept, he kept talking to her and then she,
and the girl was, she was like, she got kind of touchy
with you.
Yeah.
So then she was like, she kept like, put her arm around me
and then eventually she starts rubbing my cock.
What?
What?
What? We're engaged, the problem. She starts rubbing my cock
We're engaged the promise
Because it was below your knee. We're I so then we're at
Talking to this old dude and this girl and she's just like cat like and I'm like
And she's like we cat like and I'm like, what is going on? And she's like, we have to make it believable. What?
What?
What?
That's what's making it believable?
He's going to be looking at your cock.
So who is that ex the you on the other side?
I don't know if anyone was, I might have been at the edge of the bar.
I don't know.
The no one's over there.
So she's probably be like, cocking this old guy's getting really mad and jealous. And then my actual date was.
She said next to you on the other side. No, she's like, what's going on? And then I was like,
I was like, this is my fiance.
I was like, this is my fiance. I'm saying.
Because I'm going to get...
Oh man!
I was like, who was that early as well?
The whole of this stuff.
What's she saying?
What's she saying?
The other girl was like, okay.
Oh my god.
I just went home.
Oh my god.
How long have you break up with that girl?
Oh my God.
Well, I've never had a stranger rob my cock in a bar.
So I'm not living.
Did you actually get to have a real day
after she, the other one, let go?
No, no, no.
It was just awkward.
Because I just left.
We could have left with her, though.
I mean, there's that point.
Yeah, whatever. Yeah, but I didn't, I didn't want to.
You like the cult, Robert.
Huh?
No, no, no.
Wait, which one are you talking about?
Do you want to say?
No, we weren't, I don't know.
I wasn't feeling it.
I don't think I was, it was the one more of a one handed type thing.
What?
One handed, like she would just her hand on my cock.
That was it. That that was it that was the
extent that was the whole race that was based on whoo that's fucking bizarre
wait so was she making big eyes at you at the beginning because she was like
save me yes I thought you're gonna say she recognized no no no no she was
making me like like help me eyes and I was like I don't know I thought she was
like don't sit here so did you want us to stop fiddling with you?
Yeah, I mean, I was just like, okay, you know, I was just like, I was like,
do you think it was an elaborate setup by that woman and the other guy?
I don't think it was that.
I think, like he wanted to see her robust rangers caulk in a bar.
They were actually.
No, right.
What I think she actually wanted the gold
due to leave her alone, but then also at some point
in that interaction started hitting on me legitimately.
Yeah, that's a very forward way of doing that.
Yeah, well, I'm very experienced that.
Yeah, wouldn't work male to female.
No, it would not.
No, it would not.
I mean, she didn't really work female to male.
I don't know what to sort of don't know why.
I was just kind of like, I was like kind of taking a back bite
and I was like, I'm just gonna...
No.
I just, I don't know why.
It wasn't a long.
Wasn't like dudes typically in history
such pieces of shit when it comes to sexual harassment.
Uh-huh.
As a dude, you're not trained to recognize
when you're being sexually harassed.
Like, you could have been like,
what are you doing?
Uh-huh.
You're touching my penis.
Stop, you're insane.
Well, then start,
she started out just like arm on the leg type thing
and then she just started like moving it, you know.
Did you get a semi at least?
Well, yeah, you're gonna, if you're getting,
like, I engaged Gavin, of course he's going.
You can't not, if you're, I mean, it's gonna happen.
Do you think you'll buy a ring just in case
that ever happens again?
Just no.
No, no.
No.
That's the anti-pig up our list.
Yeah, the guy can be like, how do you know each other?
I mean, you could like bring the ring out like,
we're in dating, maybe.
Like, where's the date? like, we're in game. Maybe like,
like, he's watching the proposal happen.
You know, if he's my girlfriend,
I guess this is as good as time to any, as any.
One night.
Yeah.
Yeah, the other Tinder girl that I was supposed to meet,
she left.
And then I was like, well, I'm gonna go.
And then the fiance was like, let me give you my number to get me your number. What, where was like, well, I'm going to go. And then the fiance was like,
let me give you my number to get me your number.
Where was this? You want to say what bar was it? No, because it's near where I live.
No one would have known. Yeah. Well, okay.
Okay. God. Oh, you're you're something else, Chris. God. Yeah, we were, we were talking about Chris's eluphemous the other day and we're,
because we were talking about this flight we took to Sydney together and we were, we're,
we're on the plane to Sydney and the stewardess comes up, she has the meals and she goes,
chicken her fish and he goes, genuine, no, no irony. What do you recommend? Like,
like a Somalia, with a bottle of the water.
She just stares at him and goes,
it's chicken or fish.
I've had none of it.
Oh my God.
Was that, I mean, that was the attempt to fly?
No. I wanted to do anyone recommend it.
I was like, all right, with airplane food,
it's probably not the best.
Which of the two is better?
What did you end up getting?
I don't know.
I think you got chicken.
I think probably chicken because I was like,
ah, fish, fish probably isn't a good idea on an airplane.
Yeah.
Why not?
Smell?
Yeah, just, I don't know, like something about fish.
It's like, it's the opposite of air.
Like, oh, a fish, a fish. Okay. It's like it's it's the opposite of of air
Fish a fish okay
You're in an airplane lying
In the air a fish is below sea water like it's it's the furthest thing away from being in the air I'm checking his technically close. Yeah, I'll give you that
Just by pure sea level numbers unless it's a mountain lake or something,
and then not so much.
Yeah.
So you don't like to eat stuff sourced far
from your location?
Well, especially seafood.
I mean, think about seafood.
All right, you're gonna,
you're at an ocean front.
Yeah, you're gonna order seafood
because it's like presumably fresher
because you're near the ocean.
If you're in the middle of like, I don't know,
the sky or like a landlocked state,
you're not gonna order the seafood.
Well, yeah, but it's 2017 and technology's good enough
to keep milk.
To keep milk.
Yeah, why do we drink it that next year?
Like the best sushi I've had is in Austin.
No.
Really?
Yeah.
Uchi.
That's pretty good sushi. It's good. And I've had sushi in like,
you know, coastal and I've had it in Tokyo. I met on the way back. Where was the flounders flying
back from Tokyo a couple of years ago? I was flying on Alnipon Airways, which I'd never flown on
before. And it was interesting because they come around,
they're bringing all the meals.
And it's a Japanese airline.
So they're only speaking Japanese,
everything's Japanese.
Like they, they asked like, you want,
I remember they asked me if I wanted the Asian meal
or the Western meal.
I'll take the Western meal.
And my wife was with me, Esther was with me.
And we finished eating.
And then I'm looking at my plate.
And it's got, you know, it's like that tray
with the tray liner, and then all the containers
on top of it, and I look over at hers,
and I'm like, your says you're a winner.
He's like, what?
And I'm like, I'm comparing him, like, look, mine says,
you know, all this information about the airline,
yours just says, you are a winner.
Like, you're flight attendant.
She wanna price?
Yeah, and then it's like, they come by to like pick up all the trays
and then I'm like look, like I pointed out,
like it says her tray says she's a winner.
And the five times like, oh, okay.
And then like she leaves and then comes back.
And she's got like this selection
of like really shitty prizes you can choose from.
It was like a beach ball, a coupon book.
And something else I can remember what.
And the store was like, I guess we'll take the coupon book. something else I remember what industry was like I guess I'll take the
coupon book. I don't know. She never used to be a beach ball on a plane. It was like so weird
that we were just a little little touch. That sounds fun though. Yeah. I like the little
way. Have you been to the, I don't know the name, the like conveyor belt sushi place?
Not yet. Yeah. And you can every 15 plates that you shove down the slot,
you get a little prize.
I get a little prize.
I need to go.
It's actually good.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
It encourages you to eat more.
It does.
I've had a couple 30 plate times.
Probably I have diabetes, but like,
I got two stickers out of it, so worth it.
And you get to fight the squid and then like
the giant samurai.
Yeah, it's good stuff.
Yeah, the last time I was there, and we were definitely at a point where it's like, okay guys,
four more plates and we get another prize.
And they're like, crack up as people to eat more.
Yeah, I was that with Megan Danow,
I think we were like 28 and I was like,
I don't want any more.
Two more.
So I got like Ed and mom and cheesecake
just to like round out the plates.
And that was good.
So apparently Bernie's texting Gavin and I right now.
Oh, my phone is going to ape shit, but I'm not.
He's saying that apparently it looks like two hours ago,
Nerdist tweeted a huge came of throne spoiler.
Like and just titled it as did something hashtag game
of throne something gets spoiled by MDB.
And it's like with a photo and everything's like,
maybe it did, but you definitely spoiled it.
Holy shit.
Was it like a last night episode spoiler?
No, like next week episode spoiler.
Oh, and next week.
Okay. Shit. No, like next week episode spoiler. Oh, oh, and next week. Oh, okay shit
What why I think they're just like reporting on the story, but it's all I guess they give it away in the headline
That's a mistake. I bet it when ape shit. I think people are pretty I had I might have told the story before I had
An ex where an ex girlfriend
where she was reading on, she was on Facebook,
she goes, oh my God, so and so on Facebook
just posted the spoiler for blah, blah, blah,
and they said this and this and this and this.
And I go, I hadn't watched it yet.
She spoiled it while complaining about spoiler.
To me, it spreads like a virus. Yeah, the people being annoyed
Yeah, Game of Thrones was really good last night. It was pretty good. Do you watch it? Oh, yeah, it's very good
I haven't seen it yet. I'm waiting okay
I'm out of here. There are a lot of people who are at Lala Paloza this weekend
So I have to come back
Yeah, I just watching secret. Oh, no, I didn't
Look at that look at wow. I thought, no, I didn't. Oh, well, look at that.
Look at, wow.
I feel like I've been waiting for seven years
for these characters to come together.
I've been like, can't wait for them to meet.
And now that it's happening, and that,
you're trying to kill each other.
I'm like, oh, I don't mean each other.
You just don't weigh.
I don't want people to die.
Yeah, but I feel like, I don't want to say it. I don't want to be able to die. Yeah, but I feel like, I don't want to say it.
I don't want to spoil anything.
Like even by talking around it.
I don't want to hold on to anything.
I get you.
But it was a really good episode.
I've been really happy with the season so far.
But I got really annoyed because I realized at the end of the episode
that we're over halfway through the season.
Yeah.
Well, and that was really fun.
Thankfully, day five just started.
Yeah.
We have something use. Yeah, so that was a game of thrones to fill that gap for
Yeah, you up the woman
Just Westwell come back between the next season. No
It's always take at least a like a year and a half
I think they said all they said is 2018. Yeah, but at Comic-Con. They did have a teaser
So at least they started shooting something.
I did not expect to see any footage yet. I thought it would be the kind of thing
where they'd start shooting in January.
Yeah, because who's a shower? Jonathan Nolan, and his wife, I think, you know,
show, and they said they just like their stack of projects won't let them do it.
Yeah, I think that Westworld didn't get Greenlit for season two until like episode eight.
Yeah, it was really far. And I think the season ended before they'd written anything for season two. The guy that did the music for Game of
Thrones did the music for Westworld. Yeah. What other shows has he done music for? Because apparently
they're all good. Let's find out. That's a good way to tell if hiswadi. Yeah. Let me see.
He's Iranian German.
So let's see, he did early career.
He did blade trinity.
He collaborated with Rizza.
There you go.
See, open season, open season two.
Oh, he did the main title theme and score for prison break. Yeah, he did additional music for a cons
Zimmer in Batman begins in the island. Some stuff. I don't know Iron man. What? Yeah, it says Iron man. It doesn't say what he did specifically. He did the Clash
of the Titans movie, the 2010 one, the 2010 middle of honor video game. They needed Game
of Thrones, busy did Pacific Rim, the strain, Warcraft movie, Westworld, the Great Wall. So you know a lot.
Yeah.
I want to see a zoomed out version of the intro to Game of Thrones with a map.
Well, I think it's on the inside of a sphere.
It seems like it's always going up the wall and all around with that thing in the middle.
I just kind of want to like, I want to know more about the geography of whatever that is.
You want to see all of the assets that they have laid out.
Oh, you put on a VR headset, you can have it all rendered in the background.
You can actually buy a big ball that you could climb into and stand in the middle, and
it will be like to scale in the intro where all this.
Because I think it's all ramped up around itself.
It seems like it.
It seems like the thing that they have at the Citadel in that library is the same thing from the intro.
Yeah, which is weird because when it shows
old town in the intro, the thing is in there.
So it's like you're just showing a small,
is there a smaller one in there?
Right.
Right.
Yeah, it's all this just in old town.
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So we were talking about HBO shows, right?
And we're talking about gamers around the world.
The other show I'm really excited about that,
they've announced, but like they haven't said anything more about it,
is that they're doing true detective season three.
I think they said that they announced like,
who one of the actors will be in it.
It's like the guy from Moonlight.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that's it.
I just started watching season one.
Like last week, are you actually excited?
I'm super excited.
I liked season two.
Woof.
Season two.
It was rough, I think that I liked the ideas behind it.
I didn't hate it as much as everyone else,
but I thought it was okay.
It was not nearly as good a season one.
What was weird about season two,
I mean, I did not care for season two at all,
but I remember the press coming out of HBO,
like the president of HBO was like,
like we know like the season like starts kind of slow
but it all pays off.
Like it has this,
it's all gonna like make sense in the end.
And the finale is the worst episode of that season.
Yeah.
It's a bad finale.
It's overwhelming.
It does everything that,
you should put it here in my cell,
even though it's just about for two years. Uh the season two, does what I was worried the end of season one was going to be,
which was going to be bleak and make everything feel pointless and like nothing mattered. And then
season one has a nice update. It's like my biggest complaint keep holding. My biggest complaint
was season two was when you find out like the villain or the bad guys, you're like, oh, it's just like, I kinda out of nowhere.
Yeah.
This is like, oh, okay, I guess, sure.
Yeah.
But I like the way they tell stories.
All right, you're good.
You're good.
Thanks.
It's a great series, you should absolutely watch it.
You said you haven't seen it?
I've seen it.
Season one's really good.
Season one is good.
Yeah, it's a little slow, but it like it picks up.
I thought I feel like, I'm, I'm,
I'm, I'm, I'm just finished episode two, and I was like, it's a little,, but it like it picks up. I feel like I'm I just finished episode two and I was like,
it's a little there's like a low between like two to like four
and then there's that big crazy thing at like a meth den and
but it was crazy because I
because a Davey from day five is in it.
Yeah, it's like J is in true detective season one.
Yeah,
Alison in day five.
Yeah, he's also in prison break season three.
Oh, I was the theme was also done by the same person.
Exactly.
I was surprised that you can watch
the Game of Thrones opening credits in VR.
Like we talked about, people are telling us on Twitter.
Oh, wow.
You can actually look around.
Yeah, looks like you can look around.
Oh, shit.
There are just 60 degree video.
Oh, shit.
You can put on a headset and look all the way around.
That's wicked.
All right, sorry.
Jesse was in Always Sunny.
Yeah, and he has a guest star in Veronica Mars too.
Does he really?
He's in the very first episode of Always Sunny.
Is he really?
Yeah.
Wow.
Like wakes up next to Dennis.
Huh, yeah.
He's in a show on Netflix coming out,
Mind Hunter, that's, what's that David Fincher produced series and he's in that
too. He's a few episodes as supposed to be very cool. So that's October.
Um, we'll talk about True Detective Game of Thrones.
I feel like I'm going to save True Detective for a long flight.
How long's the first season?
I think it's 10 hours, about 10 hours.
Yeah, I could do that.
I could do that from...
Did you do that with Demon Throne's early on?
Yeah, one of the early ones.
I've almost finished battle, Sargolatica, so that's cool.
I just started that.
There we go.
I kind of fell off around one of the later seasons.
Like the next to the last season,
I was like, all right, I got a lot more.
There's four seasons I might cap way through four.
Yeah, I think it might have been four,
like when you fuck, never mind.
Yeah.
But Chris and I met one of the actresses
like two years ago at Supernova and in Australia.
And just by meeting her got stuff spoiled
because they say when she's at things,
what her character is.
Who was it? It's, uh, Raga Sharma's actress, but she's, she's Tory.
She's the president's assistant.
Mm-hmm.
But yeah, so if you haven't seen Balessor Galactica,
then don't talk to the actors.
Don't talk to the actors first.
Was, was Trisha Helfe in that?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, I met her one of the supernovas.
Do you, do you guys have, do you guys make lists of like stories
to talk about on the podcast?
Yeah.
I was just looking at this at, you know, like,
it's just the weirdest collection of like couple lines.
It's like, my list is so long
because I don't delete the stuff I've talked about.
Yeah, I don't either.
And there's like some of these like,
I don't remember what I was talking about.
One of it just says removable penis. Oh, if you had there's like some of these, like, I don't remember what I was talking about. One that just says removable penis.
Oh, if you had a word, 19-inch rule,
why would we get a, we have a thing we checked that box.
Yeah, this is my list, Chris.
Yeah, it looks like my list.
So for I have spaces between mine,
because I'm not a, can I read,
can I read an attempt to interpret your list?
Well, detachable penis.
Attachable penis.
Yeah, some of them, I guess, sure, I don't care.
I've got stuff from, I assume you as a guy that I just don't know what it is. There's a,able penis. Yeah, some of them, I guess sure. I'm here. I've lost stuff from I assume years ago that I just don't know what it is.
There's a there's one tip. There's one there's one I have here. And if you all
read that thing on Reddit, this past weekend about the guy who would masturbate
with a coconut. He would shag the coconut. Yeah. With a coconut or two a coconut.
What's the difference? Well, one is a dude jerking off looking at a coconut.
Yeah, with coconut.
I got it.
I guess he said that he grew up in an area with coconuts
and that he got a bright idea to cut a whole and one
and use it.
That really hard, though.
He said it was fine and it was great
and that he liked it so much that he hid it under his bed
for like a week.
Could you imagine if you like,
he goes into very graphic detail,
you don't have to imagine.
Okay, but like, I imagine he finished in the coconut.
A couple of times.
And then people are like,
oh, this coconut juice is,
it's coconut milk.
It's coconut milk is,
that's, it's musk on spoiled.
Not like that milk on the table there.
It was a terribly disgusting.
It was one of those like classic disgusting Reddit stories.
Like what do you say when you get caught with that?
So you're like, I like pin your colladas at night.
It's sorry.
He didn't get caught with it.
In the end, it started to smell bad.
So you decided to use it one last time.
And it was one time too many. Yeah, it's to smell bad. So you decided to use it one last time. And it was one time too many.
Yeah, it's like breakup sex.
Oh, just buy in a picture of it.
Buy in a picture of a coconut.
We don't know that that's the coconut.
Wow, the coconut with a hole in it.
You want to try to interpret something there?
Neat hole.
Yeah.
Now I see you check this with rub dick, tender date, karaoke bar.
Yeah, we got that story. Are these your stories? No, these are crazy. I'm rub dick, tender date, karaoke bar. Yeah, we got that story.
Are these your stories?
No, these are Chris's.
I'm just looking, I'm looking, seeing if there's a good headline.
Let me see him before you say him a lot.
Well, that was the only one.
I mean, I've told a lot of those stories.
Barry Carrots.
One of my things to mention was since its first week was that people can also watch
your unconventional documentary.
Chris was asking me about it.
Yeah.
And I was like, hey, when's your documentary come out where you're going to all those
conventions?
And I was like, it came out already.
We've been promoting it.
Because I've been wanting to watch it.
You can watch it right now.
Horse called instrumental.
Horse exercise ball.
What does that mean? You got to delete that one.
If you don't know what it means, how high does law end?
I know what that means.
Like if you're on a plane and you commit a crime,
I'm like, oh, yeah, I can you go and murder someone.
Right.
Like who?
Like if you do it at 80,000 feet, isn't it?
I think I saw, I saw a video about that.
Who did someone?
It might have been like,
destined or someone did a video about that. Who did? It might have been like, Destin or someone did a video about which countries' laws apply in different weird scenarios.
And there was one really weird scenario where in order to go into the Netherlands, a citizen
of China needs a visa.
But if they're connecting at the Netherlands airport, like any airport in the Netherlands, a citizen of China needs a visa. But if they're connecting at the Netherlands airport,
like any airport in the Netherlands,
they don't need a visa
because they're just connecting in the international airport.
But if they commit a crime in the airport,
they're subject to the loss of the Netherlands,
so they get removed from the airport and taken a jail,
but since they don't have visas,
an extra territorial area is created around them,
where despite the fact they're walking in the Netherlands the ground
They're on is not part of the Netherlands. Why legally speaking Wow, I think that's the case in most airports
Like they'll actually have a line on the grounds in some airports saying like what we're UK border and before that
You're not really there. Well for this one if they leave
That's like they're not in a country
Like a bubble is created around them. That's cool
So you're automatically the president of that country.
Yeah, you're your own country.
I want to keep, do you have to dig to be out of a country?
Oh, like how low?
How low does the log go?
This log go.
I think you're in it.
Half way through the earth,
like you go all the way to the midsection.
Well, I thought, I think we talked about that.
And when you buy a house and you own the land,
you only own like so far down in this.
Yeah, but a country though.
Like, and especially what if you're near
the cusp of a country and maybe the whole starts here
and then you kind of like, you end up, I don't know.
Like, well, there are some places
where you're kind of into countries at once.
Well, at the border will go like right through a house.
Yeah.
There's a great bidon YouTube about that.
Yeah.
Is it like somewhere in Turkey or something?
The big one is like the Netherlands and Belgium.
They have something like Chris Cross constantly.
But I think there's, there's always an argument
with Turkey like Watson, Asia and Watson, Europe.
Along Istanbul, I don't know.
Borders are weird. Yeah, Bored is a very weird. See, I don't have much left on my list. It's very specific.
Did you raise as you go?
Yeah, I do.
I don't know.
I got one.
What's a random story?
Go.
I like Chris the random stories.
So this, one of my favorite bands is this band called Say Hi.
And I, they were come to Austin.
I bought two tickets way in advance.
I had a friend, his name's Riva.
And that's not his real name, but that's what everyone calls him.
And I was like, hey, do you want to go to this show?
It's this day, blah, blah, blah, it's this band.
He knows that band he likes them too.
And he's like, yeah.
And so he shows up.
And he shows up a little bit late.
And he's like, I'm so drunk.
I just got out of a whiskey tasting.
And blah, blah.
I'm like, okay, well, whatever.
And I was like, you want a beer?
And he's like, yeah, I'll have a beer.
So I got two beers.
So I got one from me, one from him.
This is not a big band.
It's not a big venue. It's not a big venue.
There's probably a hundred people in the entire thing, right?
Do you see what venue it is?
Or is it close to one of two?
No, I think it might have been like the inside of like stubs or something.
Okay.
Maybe it's off Red River.
And we're sitting there and so it's small like,
and it's just one, it's just one dude singing and like,
you know, very intimate music, right?
And at some point, someone kind of like bumped into me and I dropped my beer. It's just one dude singing and like, you know, very intimate music, right?
And at some point, um, someone kind of like bumped into me and I dropped my beer.
My beer kind of splatters up and I'm like, oh, shit, drop my beer.
So we're sitting there and I'm like, I don't want to like go back to get another beer. So I was like, Riva, who's super drunk, super, super drunk.
I was like, hey, hey, let me kind of smell your beer.
And he goes, no, no, you're not having,
he's just like yelling, like,
you're not having my beer, no way.
And then the entire, everywhere is just looking at us.
And I'm just like, she's like, no, no, no,
you took, you dropped your beer, you're not having my beer.
And he's just screaming. Oh my god. And to the point, I was like, don't know, you took, you dropped your beer. You're not having my beer. And he's just screaming.
Oh my God.
And to the point, I was like, don't be quiet.
And then the guy on stage is like, dude,
you should listen to your friend and shut the fuck up.
The guy on stage.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like the, because there's only one guy in this band.
Say hi, said, say hi.
He was like, you need to be quiet.
And he was like, okay. So then he got quiet and I was like, say hi, he was like, you need to be quiet. And he was like, okay.
So then he got quiet and I was like, oh God, this is like,
because there's not that many people.
It's not like we disappeared into the crowd.
Right.
So then music ends and I'm like, I'm gonna go get another beer now.
Go get another beer.
I come back, my Revo's fighting.
He's like, no, fuck you man.
Dada, he's yelling at this guy.
And then there's a guy in a clutch.
No, no, this is not just in the bar, right?
Like in between bands.
He's yelling at this guy.
And this, and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
I'm like trying to break them apart.
And he's like, what's going on?
And he was like, your friend spit beer on my girlfriend
in the middle of the set.
Oh my God.
And I was like, what? He's like, that's bullshit. I need. Oh my God. And I was like, what?
He's like, that's bullshit.
I need spit beer on anyone.
And I'm like, in my head, I'm like, okay, I think,
I'm trying to explain to him.
I think what happened is someone knocked my beer over,
it splattered, it might have like seemed like he was spitting beer
because he's the drunk asshole.
But in reality, I think it was just my beer spilling.
He's like, no, he spit beer on my girlfriend.
Which he didn't, because I was sitting next
for the whole time.
So it was a miscommunication, they were confusion.
So then, but he's like, not a big guy.
He's like, fuck you.
I will fight you for this.
And like, if you got a problem,
and if you think I'm spit in beer,
then let's go outside and we'll fight up.
You know, like, he's like, he's about to fight this guy.
So then I'm like, no, no, no, no, no,
and the guy's like, all right, dude, like calm down. I break them apart. And then I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like, hey, you guys need to leave.
I'm like, well, no, no, it's like, he was like,
look, it was a miscommunication, blah, blah, blah.
He didn't spit beer and it's like, look, I don't know.
You're trying to fight the guy in the lead singer
and the band that's going on next.
There was another band going on.
And he tried to fight the lead singer of the another band,
which was my friend Rvo was like love that band
Oh shit, and I was just like all right. We'll leave
We'll leave I want to meet this Revo
He's not like a crazy
Yeah, he's long so normal have I have a man. No, I don't think so
No, that's terrible. I hate when that happens
You got like a super drunk person. You got a babysitter or take care of.
I got drunk.
I think a drunk.
I was a, I want to see Wonder Woman and Dan got drunk.
Dan was with us.
And the trailer for Justice League was on before.
Oh.
And the song that was in it, I don't remember the song.
But Dan was so hammer.
He was like slumped in his chair at the Alamo.
And then the trailer ended. And it was just silent, getting ready to play the
actual movie, and he just started singing the song.
And I was like, it like took me a second to realize that it was him.
I was like, oh my God, what are you doing?
And he was like, what?
I was like, it's the Alamo, you can get kicked out because you can't, you can't screw
around with the Alamo. Yeah. And then he was like, it's the animal, you can get kicked out. Cause you can't, got screwed around with the animal.
Yeah.
And then he was like, can't sing.
Yeah.
And then he was like, slurry, like,
wrote the wrong thing and the,
cause you can't order food either.
So the person taking the food order was like,
what do you mean with this?
And he was like, no, no, no, no.
Nope.
And he was just getting larry and I was like,
and I'm sat next to him.
And also, there's a risk that someone in there might know who he is.
It's so bad.
It gets to a point where you just should never get drunk ever.
No, I'll drink to that.
Yeah.
Someone who's asked me the other day with the last time I was blackout drunk was, and I
think it was the Let's Play live here.
Which you guys were on stage, obviously.
But I remember being, I have glimpses of the night being
in like the Ruperty staff section.
I don't know what happened up there,
like, because we were all on stage.
Yeah.
Jeff was unconscious.
But when everyone else came off stage,
almost everyone who works as company was absolutely hammered.
No, I, you were, you were, you were threatening Matt.
Yeah, I'm fairly threatening Matt.
You, what?
You threatened him. Like the real, what did I, I've heard of you threatened him.
Like the real what did I think I remember what I said?
You said something about like, I don't remember.
Aaron claims that I think was saying that I said,
if I were to make a level of roosters, they're all killing you.
Oh my God.
I'm sure it was playful.
But I do remember crawling around on the floor in VIP,
just like crawling from chair to chair,
like and like propping myself on thing.
I think that night there were,
I probably shouldn't say this,
there were five people in the audience
who were ejected for being too drunk.
Really?
It's not like,
no, no, not staff members.'s not like... No, not not.
It was like, ah, it's like...
It's him.
EMTs and police had to come and escort people out.
Yeah.
It was rowdy.
Hit it hard, let's play audience.
It was a rowdy party.
When you drunk at the last extra life?
I don't think so.
What was the...
I don't know if it was extra life or not, but I remember I just come off doing whatever
I was doing on that.
But you were like sprinting around the office
and then you're hiding under a chair or something.
I think that's just a normal day.
But I can tell if you were screwing around
or whether you actually drunk and you're just,
you were like out of breath hiding under a chair.
Hiding under a chair?
I don't remember.
Cause last extra life, I remember painting.
We painted the paintings and I wasn't drunk
because I painted Chris and the baby.
Wasn't that two years ago?
That was two years ago.
No, I think it was last year.
We did painting twice.
Oh, yeah.
Right.
I don't know.
I don't know what it was, but.
Running around and hiding and drinking.
You were like sprinting around and then you were kind of like
hiding and panting.
And I thought it was funny, but I couldn't tell if you actually drunk or not, whether
you just goofed around.
I could have been.
I don't know.
We have some great drunks of this company.
What do you mean by that?
People who are able to consume a lot of alcohol, or people who are in a taming, and they don't
get violent.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm not a violent person.
Yeah.
I don't think, yeah.
Like, tremendous drunk.
A. Although you do get a bit fighty. What? I'll fucking fight you. violent. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like tremendous drunk. A
although you do get a bit fight. What? I'll fucking fight you.
I'm reading an article here on scientific American. That says
that this kind of ultra high pasteurized milk has a shelf life of six
months. Okay. So don't believe their September bullshit lies.
We're good for extra life this year.
Man, it might be a problem.
So I could just buy a butt load of milk.
You could buy bulk and just leave it
because I always run out of milk
and then I'm like, because it expires or whatever.
Yeah, yeah, you just leave that in the shelf for six months.
But once you open it, then the clock starts to turn.
Yeah, you're rolling.
And why is that?
Is it just because bacteria are getting in?
So if you opened it, used it, and then just blasted UV
all in there, and we'll lit it up again.
Would it be good?
I don't know.
I'm not a milk scientist.
Do you feel like it to 280 degrees?
I feel like in the future, all kitchens
will have like a UV
Sanitized zone that you can just put stuff under just blast it and put it back because UV can you can drink out of a pond if you hit it with enough Really? I think so. I think so. Well the sun emits UV light. Yeah, I like it way more concentrated. Okay
I think it just kills everything. All right. What's time to wrap up?
Don't drink a pond.
So thanks everyone for watching.
Do not drink a pond and report back next week.
Let us know how high the law goes.
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