Rooster Teeth Podcast - The First Live Haircut in Podcast History - #549
Episode Date: June 18, 2019Join Gus Sorola, Chris Demarais, Blaine Gibson, and Gavin Free as they discuss raditation, toilet paper face, Chris's continued haircuts, and more on this week's RT Podcast! Learn more about your ad c...hoices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪
Hey everyone, welcome to the Rooster Teeth Podcast. This week brought to you by me and these Squarespace and stamps.com.
I'm Gus.
I'm Gavin.
I'm Blaine.
I'm Gris.
I'm Gus.
What was up with that voice?
I don't know, I was trying to know.
You're doing a voice over that too, Chris.
Stop, come here.
It's a shadow, Blaine.
It's a shadow.
Oh, no, he's got white crumbs.
Probably com or something.
What do you have on you, Chris?
It might have been like, I don't know what this is. Did you have a bicky? Looks like toilet paper. I don't know how it. What do you have on you, Chris? It might have been like, I don't know what this is.
Did you have a bicky?
Looks like toilet paper.
I don't know how I, I walked into the...
Sometimes when I blow my nose,
do you ever get toilet paper stuck
in your like little beard?
You don't have a beard right now, Chris.
No, but then that's face.
No, feel it.
It gets heavy all the time.
See, it's scratchy.
I heard that.
So it gets, it will blow my nose
and then I get like toilet paper,
caught in it and then I like swipe it off and ends up looking a little.
I think that's the grossest part about mustaches that people might not think about.
Bogeys?
Yeah, it's like when you blow your nose, you're really just filling your mustaches with bogeys.
I had the weirdest thing to have to do the other day.
I think I was just tired of filming a lot.
I did a number two.
It was a, did a number two.
It was an average two.
What was done with it went to wipe,
got some toilet paper, and I wiped my eyes.
What?
What?
Oh my God.
I was just like, I'm done with this poo.
I'm doing.
What am I doing?
I just, I hope that it wasn't like used for a sin then.
I've hopefully hadn't got to where it counts for us, but I was just like
Damn, I'm confused that's tired. Yeah, have you ever done that?
There's one time where I remember I was like taking a pee and then I kept
Rommaging in the bath mat because I thought I dropped a Django Fed action figure and I was there for like
Three minutes just like scratching at the carpet that's at my feet
And I was like where's my Django Fed action figure and then I woke up and I was like what am I doing? like three minutes, just like scratching at the carpet that's at my feet.
And I was like, where's my Django Fed action figure?
And then I woke up and I was like, what am I doing?
What was a dream?
It was like a, it was like a dream where
it was like sleepwalking.
Oh, you were really that.
I was really there.
Yeah.
And then I like woke up and was like, why am I looking for a
dream?
I was going to ask why you had a Django Fed action figure
with you while you were peeing.
I don't know, but dream bling seemed to, yeah.
Dreams are so weird.
Fucking weird.
Yeah, I feel like, I mentioned this the other day
on the podcast, but I feel like I've been remembering
my dreams less since I started using my CPAP,
which is kind of a bummer for me,
because I really liked my dreams.
I really had weird dreams.
Are they better than your life?
They had a war.
I feel like there was like years ago on the podcast,
someone said they didn't like hearing dream stories
because they're just stories that weren't a thing.
Was that you?
I thought that was you.
I don't like hypothetical questions.
Okay.
I've always been reluctant to talk about my dreams
on the podcast because they'll look into it.
You were Bernie, it was like,
I don't wanna hear about your fucking dream.
It's gonna happen.
I have had someone in my life who always talks about their dreams.
And sometimes if I'm not in the mood to listen to a dream,
I just have to be like, I'm gonna stop you right there.
I don't care about the thing.
Please tell me later because it will matter to me more.
But right now I'm thinking about stuff and a dream is nothing.
Well, it's interesting when someone tells you about the dream,
if you were in it, but if it's just a dream about stuff, then it's like, I don't care.
Yeah, because if there's something to be deciphered
from the dream, then I'm all about that.
There's nothing ever to decipher from a dream, dude.
No, they're sharing.
It's always to, you don't have to.
What do the Django Fit figure mean in your dream?
I love Star Wars.
Literally deciphered that.
It's just random firings of your brain.
And stress.
You can find out your stress about something?
Yeah.
If you have dreams about
if you're if you're shit like your teeth are like melting. That's the only stress I ever have. It's like I
start spitting out shards on my teeth. Yeah. Oh, have you ever had it? I had a dream one time where I had like
ear wax coming out of my ear and it just wouldn't stop coming out. And I was like what is going on?
I'm in a classroom. Everyone's looking at me. I had all this ear wax just spilling from my ear and I was
freaking out. I was like this is the most embarrassing thing I've ever had in my life.
I showed you that picture of that ear wax that came out of my ear during
Arizona Circle production, right?
No.
It's like a huge fucking glob.
Like, he was showing it everyone.
He was like his new boy was baby.
I was like, look what happened over the, look at this.
It was like, I was like very careful about showing it to people.
I don't want to be like, at all.
I would say, hey, do you want to see something gross?
And if they said yes, then I'd be like,
ah, so there's a difference.
When we filmed, I've had bigger wax like that,
but more recently.
Do you want to see mine?
Sure, I want to see it.
When we were filming that, it's been a few years,
but when we were filming that immersion
on the racetrack out in Georgia,
for some reason a lot of people got sick on that shoot. We all a lot of us had
colds and I had a terrible cold and one morning before call time I was taking my shower, I
had turned the shower on, I was getting ready to get into shower and I coughed up the biggest
most disgusting booger of my life. It was almost the size of the palm of my hand and it was so gross
like I had to take a photo of it. He just like to document it and that's what I was showing people like you
see something gross and I was showing like how did you cough that up?
Was that like blood in it? No, just normal. That looks like a frog dude.
It looks like a little frog sitting on the tip of your finger.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, it looks like a butt.
It's so crisp.
It's super dirty.
It does look like a pet, it looks like a hollus in there.
It looks like a sock sitting on your finger.
It looks like a super mule.
It's like an entire pallet.
It's like old him came out of your ear.
Were you there when I showed the one the doctor took out of my ear.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where's this one of you?
The thing you coughed up.
I swear I'd find it.
That sounds great.
I love seeing that shit.
Someone has to talk while I looked it up.
What came out of you this week, Chris?
Uh, lots.
Nothing now to the ordinary though.
It's all pretty good.
Standard.
You know, I shoved down in a balloon again. Oh, yeah, well, I just do that every June now. Join balloon June
Jack blue June. What was the catch on this one? Or are you allowed to talk about it?
It's small and I remember
That's that that's that fucking Robin Williams movie. That's blubber or whatever
That's that fucking Robin Williams movie that's
Fobber that's fucking flutter dude that looks like a grape with rock dude. We should we should introduce your
Wait wait wait if you're in the shower. Why was in your hands said I was getting ready to get in the shower like I just turned the shower
I see you like sneezed or coughed in your hand. I don't know I was gonna have a sleep cuz in the book
Don't throw up we don't have your vomit trash can.
I have a question.
How did you search for that?
I remember it was 2013, so I went back, and we did that in April, so I went back to
that approximately.
He's lying, he's favorite that.
He loves it.
So I'll look for stuff by locations.
I'll go to the map, like the map, and be like, because I would have gone to Atlanta and
then looked and be like, oh yeah, there's only 30 photos in Atlanta.
I went to a long period of time,
through a long period of time where locations
were disabled on my phone.
So I couldn't, I can't do that.
It's fairly recent because there was a long time where,
if you posted photos to social media,
they wouldn't strip GPS data out.
So I would just have my phone not attach any GPS data to be safe.
I don't know where my weirdest, uh,
weirdest things come out of your body.
No, weirdest like photos, location tags are from, oh god, they're
good.
Don't look at my screen.
This way.
I can't stop thinking of flubber coming out of his
King Eatable and chat.
Is that is that the word show?
Is that what is this chat? This is the way to show it? Is that the way to show it?
What is this chat?
This is nothing to do with what we're talking about.
This, what are they talking about?
Is this just not live?
I think that's a little scrolled up.
Can we scroll down?
It might have been like time.
You got some little delay.
Someone from broadcasts is like,
send it to me.
It's Eric or Dennis.
Oh yeah, they're just not,
Chats just talking about Jizz.
They try to jizz on my shirt.
Oh, I just hit myself in the they try jizz on my shirt
Can we show that what happened there's a there's a huh Eric what you've hit Eric with your your frog
Shristened about your wax Eric you want to see about earwax too? Yeah. Oh my god.
We're going to show you that.
Don't show it.
I showed it for you guys.
That was private.
Who is this sombrus in chat is saying you can hold up to 1.5 ounces in your sinuses.
That's cool.
1.5.
It seems like a lot.
Keep it by. What is the worst? What's the worst place for stuff to come out of?
If it's all it, I'll say your P hole. Eric, here you go. Oh, dude, yeah, like a kidney stone.
Yeah. That's probably that's probably the worst.
There's not really a lot of places stuff can come out. Maybe belly button.
But you know, the air got us come out of your belly button. But no, but Eric got us come out of your belly button.
I guess your butt...
What?
Stuff's supposed to come out of your butt.
Yeah, no, where it is, it can be...
There it is, my baby.
That's, that came out of my fucking ear.
Uh, chop it.
Chop it.
Put it away.
Chop is not happy.
Not safe for life.
Everyone needs to just keep that shit in.
So I had a huge chunk of ear.
God, I just like, it was Arizona Circle production
and I was like, getting really fucking sick
like the week before I just shoot the shirt listing
because it was actually fortuitous timing.
But I got like an intentional play.
Oh, you guys.
Super sick.
Yeah, I was like, it was coming out everywhere.
That you had vomiting and I was barfing.
Like that's when you missed the talking shit shoot.
Yeah, yeah.
The first time I life I vomited and pooed at the same time.
If you get the Australian one where you had the animal in the cage,
you filmed that.
The child.
That's what I meant.
The child in the cage that was meant to be like an animal.
Anyway, Blaine had came up for work just to shoot that
and was horribly sick.
I was like,
I was fucking ghosts.
But yeah, so I was just getting sick
and like everything has come out of my body
and then like, yeah, I remember one of my ears,
I thought I was infected or something
because I couldn't hear out of it.
So then like I had this little plunger thing that I would just spray hot water of my ears, I thought I was infected or something because I couldn't hear out of it. So then I had this little plunger thing
that I would just spray hot water into my ear.
Like every day and for three or four days I would do this.
And then eventually it was just like a fucking
like avalanche happen on my ear
where I just heard like,
oh god.
And I was like,
oh god.
Was it while you were squeezing the thing?
No, it might have, I don't know if it was.
It might have been, it might have been.
But anyways, I just remember like,
oh god, it's coming. It's coming and I just remember like, oh god, it's coming.
It's coming and I'm just like, oh, yeah, oh, oh,
it was just like the greatest orgasm out of my ear.
Could you hear, could you just feel like you could hear
everything after that?
I could hear my neighbor's cat from five doors down.
It was astonishing.
But then immediately I was like, my left ear,
I'm deaf in my left ear now.
And I was just like, yeah, I only had it come out of my ears liquid,
but it was a lot once.
It was on a, I think it was on a slow-mo shoot
with shooting like a crossbow.
I think you were helping me do that.
It was like, fine.
That was a doctor pepper thing.
That went brand and almost killed you
with the loaded crossbow.
Do you remember that?
That's the most important.
And he was just like, man, and then I was like,
it's loaded and you were like bent over like,
resetting the thing and I was like,
oh my god.
I had visions of a crossbow boat just going into Chris's
anus.
Oh my.
And I remember being like, it's loaded.
He was like, oh, and you were like, what the?
What happened?
I didn't even tell him a crossbow's loaded.
If he had a parent.
Now to be fair to Brandon, when he was messing with it,
like 20 seconds earlier, it wasn't loaded.
The guy who owned it just came over and loaded it
like didn't tell anyone.
So he was just like, readjusting it.
Are you like the only one who saw him load it?
I didn't see him load it either,
I just saw that it was loaded.
Oh, I was like, Chris is telling right.
That was a moment where we were all just like,
all right, nobody'd load the crossbow.
They could kill you.
Oh, yes, I mean, the whole thing we were used for.
The whole bit that we were filming
was the crossbow shooting through like eight things of soda, right? Oh, yeah, I mean the whole they were used for the whole bit that we were filming was the crossbow shooting through like
Eight things of soda right? Oh, God. Yeah, that would have gotten through
It's like three creases
That's the reason I like to shoot and so are these days
It's like we're in control of it all only two of us. We just know what each other are doing
Sometimes with there's too many people who can get dangerous. Anyway that day a bunch of airwax just went
And like went all down my arm.
I was like, good Lord.
Wow.
I had had a block tear for a long time,
but it came out as liquid.
I was like, that was so warm and satisfying.
And the girls, it feels amazing.
One of those, when you do 23 media,
all this DNA testing, that's one of the things
that they try to test for,
is whether you have wet airwacks or dry airwacks.
I actually, I'm not really making be able to make it in the mind,
because I'm going to solid it.
Why is it that things coming out of your body feel so good?
Well, maybe Chris,
well, like an ingrown half feels amazing to pull out.
Yeah, or like, who does it?
Or like a good, a good like, like, I mean, you have to pee.
It feels great if you have to really have to pee or jacket it
or a good poop, like,
could you just say a jacket, yeah.
I feel like it's other things
unless the actual feeling of cheers
punching your re-throw, but it's more of like
the other stuff that comes along with it.
But any sort of name.
But it's so sad, it goes hand in hand.
Yeah.
You can't have one without the other.
Yeah, it does go.
It does go very good Chris, it goes hand in hand. Yeah, you can't have one without the other. Yeah, it does go very good for us.
It goes.
But like name one thing, I mean besides baby,
but I bet it feels good afterwards.
Yeah, it's like, oh, like, likely dry your wax.
Kidney 23 and me.
It's the perfect answer.
That would be very important.
You're right there, Wix.
It's what I said.
I mean, that's what that was.
Even if you're dehydrated, just a normal piss can hurt.
If you haven't been able to do that.
If you're super dehydrated, it can be a little too.
How far do you guys let yourselves go
that you were like, I tried it.
I mean, but if it's just like,
you're just like, I need more water.
You can just tell you're dehydrated.
I don't know if it hurts.
It doesn't feel as pleasant as a nice clean piss.
I think somebody did that like a nice clean piss. I did a sown bite of that, a nice clean piss.
Shat just caught up with our, that your wax and your, uh, yeah, I don't know what's
going on there. It's that's way behind that.
Can we refresh that or get it further down or something?
Yeah, we're gonna know. Thanks, man.
Um, and I had, I had a, a weird experience the other day.
Go on. I, I was at a Korean restaurant.
Now I went in to go, place it to go order.
And as I go in, I place my order
and I sit down kind of near the front by the door
and like I'm not paying attention.
I'm using something, I'm looking at my phone,
looking at Twitter, Instagram or something.
And someone walks in, I'm only vaguely aware,
they were really busy at this restaurant.
So there's people coming in and out, there's and out, last time I'm not really paying attention.
Some guy walks in and I hear him ask, or I see like the employee go up and say,
can we help you? And he says, can you give me a glass of water?
And they don't speak English, that guy didn't speak English totally well. So like there's a
misunderstanding, he's like, then the guy who walked
just just kind of just have a glass of water,
all the ones that glass of water.
So the guy who was working there leaves walks off
and someone else comes up and the guy at the door again
is like, can I have a glass of water?
And they're not understanding what it is that he wants.
The person he's talking, the employee's talking to leaves again.
And I look up and it looks like it's maybe like a homeless guy
or a guy who's like backpack, he's got a backpack on.
Looks like he's been walking outside. Looks he's sweating.
I can understand why he wants a glass of water.
And he looks at me and goes,
Hey, can you help me just get a glass of water?
And I looked down and I realized I'm dressed like the employees.
Like I'm wearing like a black shirt and black slacks.
And I'm like, I'm like, oh, I don't actually work here.
And he goes, I didn't ask you if you worked here.
I asked you if you could help me get a glass of water.
I was like, um, like, well, now, no,
I wouldn't say it. Like the employee comes back out and they're
just trying to figure out what it is that he wants. Like, do you want a to go cup with water?
And he goes, well, I guess if that's all I can get, yeah, it's like, but they're not understanding
him. They're just trying to figure out what it is that he wants to get it for him.
Uh, some of the first employees he was talking to comes back out with a glass of water and
hands it to him and he drinks it and leaves. And I was like, what the fuck was that?
Why did the guy get mad at me?
I can't speak English like he can.
Like I'm not gonna be able to tell these people anything more.
Maybe he thought because you were actually sitting there
and not like didn't look like a backpacker
that they might give you a water and not him.
Well, I also wondered if you thought like,
I could speak Korean to them or something.
Oh.
It's like, I was like, what the,
well, I was like, what was the point of that conversation?
Like there was, there,
you come by surprise,
and then I didn't know what to do.
So were you mad after the interaction was over?
Were you like, I was like,
I was like, well, why did he talk to me like that?
I was, I honestly thought,
he thought I was working there.
I always get confused when people who you're doing a favor for
get mad at you when you don't do it well enough.
It comes with Jeff in his comments.
So we picked up this, what I assumed was just scam guy.
He was like a blind guy, like, from the wrong side.
Oh, that guy.
Yeah, he was getting this.
Yeah, and we dropped him off and he was like,
yeah, I need to pay this fine that I've got.
And Jeff, like, lent him the money for it.
And it was like 20 bucks or something.
And then the guy was like,
well, 20 bucks plus tax.
And Jeff was like, well,
I was like, why is he being so rude?
Like, he expects it, the full amount.
Well, you forgot the, yeah.
That's not just 20 bucks, dude.
That guy's well known around Austin.
He runs that scam.
Yeah.
There's a lady in it.
Is he going to the school to buy? That's where he normally goes Austin, he runs that scam. Yeah, there's a lady. You had to go into the school to buy.
That's where he normally goes.
I know exactly that guy.
There was a lady at one of the intersections
that I hit on my way home.
And back in my Jeep, I have a bunch of peanut butter crackers,
because I don't like canning out money,
because I don't know where it's going to go to,
but I know problem handing out food.
So anytime I run to a panhandler, I'll give him some food
and stuff like that, and I only have a small chatler, I'll give him some food and stuff like that
and normally have like a small chat with him.
They're always really nice about it.
There's one lady, and she just like cussed me on each
on my entire body, give her crackers.
Look, oh, you're fucking crackers.
I'm like, I'm like, I'm going from me.
Not your crackers?
Yeah, you're not my crackers, I guess.
Not a great in your eyes.
Remember that, this is one lady who would always like get naked
and masturbate downtown.
Do you see her?
I think she's still out there.
Where is this?
It sounds like a big street.
She was just like, everyone went,
I've seen her a couple of times.
You just walk by and there's this lady who's like,
just naked, she'll pull up, masturbating.
In a car or just on the bench. Just standing up. I think she'll be up masturbating. And like in a car or just on the bench, she'll stand there.
I think she'll be sitting down.
Yeah.
Oh, she got arrested recently, right?
I think I read about Dan and his paper.
She was like, on the patio at the Austinian or something.
It's always, yeah, it's always somewhere downtownish.
Yeah.
It's bummer.
So she like, was it when you were addicted to sex?
And maybe like an exhibitionist, maybe she's just exhibitionist.
That's usually by choice.
There's not like a compulsion to, or is it?
Well, no, but an exhibition is like you get off by doing it in public or like showing,
doing it in front of people.
I don't know.
Or maybe she just didn't have anywhere else to do it.
No world.
God, Chris, whenever I walked into the makeup place over there, have anywhere else to do it. No world. Yeah. God damn.
Chris, whenever I walked into the makeup place over there,
you were carrying a tough full of hair,
and I noticed you were giving yourself a haircut.
What are you doing there?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
We just talked about Barbour's last week.
Yeah.
Were you giving yourself a haircut?
Yes.
What did you tell yourself that you wanted?
I wanted you'll, if you recall from last week,
I said the barber did a really bad job
where they were in a hurry, so they didn't cut it evenly,
so I'll find random long hairs that I'm like,
what is this?
So I'll just cut it down.
So I was just trimming up some long hairs.
I look like a good amount in his hair.
Oh yeah, oh, it was a big chunk.
Not the bangs, just some bangs.
It looks good.
Yeah. Well, it looks good now,
because I've been getting myself all weekend.
I was like, oh, there's some long hairs,
but in all like, yeah, all weekend, I was cutting my hair.
Let me look at the sides.
All right. Let's see the other side.
The sideburns are not even though.
I don't. Oh, I doubt they are. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait the way seems to make more sense because you'd be facing us. Yeah, but this is easy. Well, because it's hard to connect.
You can do the whole podcast facing away from us if you want.
Is this not weird too?
Well, you don't have to turn your whole body, dude.
You just turn your head.
Like this?
But now I'm facing away from the camera.
Okay, but it's Chris.
Turn the chair.
The entire chair.
Don't turn the chair.
Like that? Turn your head. Don't turn the chair. What? Like that?
Turn your head.
Don't turn the chair.
Okay, I'm gonna turn the chair, guys.
I think she's had a chat.
It's not uncommon for me to just dunk on Chris a lot,
and we were getting a drink through the night.
And I love Chris.
Of all the people that I work with,
I think Chris is one of my favorites.
That's kind of fucked up.
We're right here.
Yeah, I know, I appreciate you guys too,
but I work with Chris the most,
and we were
getting a drink the other night with some other bunch of Chris's friends because he has those apparently.
And I just gotten done insulting him about something about the United States flag because there was
a flag and I was like, Hey Chris, what is, you know, this representative, you know, the 13 stripes and
whatever. And he got it wrong. And I was I was right. What did you say? What are the 13 stripes on the flag represent?
13 colonies.
What were the, oh shit, no, the stars?
The stars, 50 states.
They know, but like in the original.
Oh, the original, with the circle.
How many stars were there on that?
13 colonies.
Is 13 stripes 13 stars?
I don't know.
I can't, what gives you your story.
Anyways, I had just finished shitting on Chris and then I was laughing and in the middle
of laughing, my entire beer, like as if magic just completely dumped and just spilled all
over my lap.
Like, it looked like karma.
Dude, it was instant karma and I was not even mad.
I was like, I totally had that coming because I've just been shitting on Chris' whole
time. And I just, it looks. I was like, I totally had that coming because I've just been shooting on Chris' whole time.
And I just, it looks like I pissed my pants.
Oh yeah, and then Blaine was like, waiting,
he wanted to leave.
And he's like, but I can't get up and leave
until it dries enough to where it does it look like piss.
I'm like, you're leaving, who cares?
You're pown it.
Plus also, like, if you're walking around confidently,
like not trying to hide it,
that's right.
No one's gonna assume it's piss.
But if you're trying to hide it,
then it's like, oh, I got it pissed. I told him, I told him. I was like, dude, you should go and try and talk to hide it. That's right. No one's gonna assume it's past. But if you're trying to hide it, then it's like, oh, they got it pissed.
I told him.
I told him.
I was like, dude, you should go and try and talk to some girls.
Because you're gonna seem so confident.
And if you go up looking like you pissed your pants,
you're like, wow, that guy's confident.
Or he's really drunk or high.
They would think that too.
Yeah.
But like, he feels like, yeah, it looks like I pissed my pants.
It's a fun conversation.
But I didn't. It's a fun conversation. I didn't.
But I did.
It's a funny conversation starter.
Yeah.
I'm out of doing it.
I'm so what?
Hey, Gavin.
Yeah.
Chris's sideburns bothering you that much because I have.
Do you want to cut my hair off my braider?
I'm just saying, can, if you want to even him out, do you think you could?
Well, Blaine's closer.
Oh, that's true. Yeah. Blaine, can out sure. Oh my god. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, just just to clarify. What has this razor been used on?
Who can say matter that like if I don't know if I don't know and then they gave it to your head would you be like?
Yeah, I would what do you do?
This is how I end up with no sideburners. This is gonna be up to my
Don't fuck him up. Why don't we have got a hold this?
What side are you doing? We should take a screenshot of Chris's one that blames the other side dude the other side's the long side
The long side look at the link
We need a reference but playing because it's probably
completely blind.
I'm talking about the length down.
We're talking about the length.
That's all we've ever said.
That one's longer than the other.
We're talking about the width.
Come here.
You're looking at the camera, which is reversed.
Wait.
You're looking at your face.
Hold this.
No, that's the short size.
I'm going to throw it away.
OK.
All right.
He looks like he's trying to give a dog a haircut
that doesn't want a haircut.
Give him some spray cheese.
Oh, that's not a bad job.
This ASMR portion of the podcast.
Oh, that's pretty good. That's pretty good.
That's pretty good.
Okay, in turn back.
That's about as close to the game.
Yeah.
All right.
That first life had cut on the point.
I think it is.
You need a very ready.
Yeah, except for actual life.
Dude, I found a clip.
Can I?
I found that clip from.
I don't want to.
Okay. I will. You sure you should have called her in the ear wax thing. I found a clip. Can I I found that clip from Okay
In the ear wax thing
Like I'm ashamed of oh, let's talk about that in a second. Let me read this and we'll talk about that
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comfortable underwear that I really love. So you found you were going to find it. You're
going through your camera or you're going through your camera?
Or you're going through your files, the videos?
I ran out of space on my Google Drive,
so I was like deleting videos,
because videos are more space.
And I was like, yeah, it was a clip from an actual life 2015.
But it was like,
that was 2015, 2016.
It was the cheese master.
Oh, that was 2016.
16 or 17.
Anyway, it was just like a random clip from the cheese master. Oh, that was 26 16 or 17 anyway, it was just it was like a random clip from the cheese master
Where where we were building the
Double down play it. Oh, I can't second it to can I shit? No, I don't want don't fucking play that
The whole night's embarrassing
What you do this the good just don't look if you to. No, no, I won't do it.
It's not nothing.
I don't mind you.
You were in a post.
I don't want to fucking watch it again.
I already had to watch it when you sent it.
I feel like you own every single thing you do.
Except she's not sent.
There's the one thing you have to change about.
What I've said was I felt the reason I should assume about it
is I made it about me and not about the charity.
And like I was disrupting other stuff. I don't think so. But I think you brought. That's how you don't feel about it is I made it about me and not about the charity. And like I was disrupting other stuff.
But I think you brought in, you kept that stream
like, live and the energy at like 4 a.m.
Like it was actually a really positive thing.
Right, but I just decided I didn't want to be taking
other people's stuff over.
That's the only reason I feel bad about it.
There's just a clip of us making a beard sandwich
where Gus is like tackles blood.
Well, it's like, it's like me.
It's me and Chris are off to the side.
And I've got two pieces of bread
and I'm setting up what's going on.
And like, so I'm over here.
And I've got two pieces of bread.
And I look off camera and I'm like, oh no.
And then I'm out of nowhere.
Gus just fucking body slams me into the table.
And he's like, oh, sandwich. Yeah. It's like, okay, Gus just fucking body slams me into the table and he's like, oh, sandwich.
It's like, okay, Gus.
Yeah, it was a bad grade.
We did get, you do get pretty tackily when you're really drunk.
But we had a little tackled rest
so when the hotel room wants to wait.
And then I had to wake up early for flight the next morning.
I was so, as fuck.
I couldn't remember why.
I was like, oh, right, I was fighting Gavin last night.
Dude, do you ever wake up from like a night of drinking
or whatever and your legs just fucking kill?
Like you just not know how to walk when you're drunk
or do you,
it's probably like you've worked out a lot
and it's like aching from that.
Yeah.
It's probably back in sleep and partial dehydration.
It's probably dehydration.
I know like my knees are hurting.
I must be from dancing.
That might be it too.
Cause I get really, really, really, really,
yeah, yeah, you're going up and down.
I definitely don't do.
My knee's fucking kill after I'm not a drinking.
So that could be like your new workout.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've had that way.
It's like, it's a bit Maui to go up the stairs
as if I've just been doing exercise,
but I haven't just been drinking.
So the opposite of exercise. Yeah. I wonder if it's
like I carry myself in a different way. I'm drunk. So I'm like trying to look more like you're
trying to be sober like you're muscles all weird. Yeah. Dan's been staying with me. It's always
a pleasure when Dan's around. Just interesting problems that I didn't think would happen. He was like
man, the water tastes funny here. And I was like, oh, you've been drinking out the tap. He's like, no, no, I've got out
the fridge, like the filter thing. And he showed it to me. And he was drinking out of a candle.
What? What, what, what, what does that mean?
It was a candle that completely burned away. But there was still like, like,
bits of wax and there was like glitter in the bottom. And he thought it was a glass to drink out of. Does he not look in it? No.
What happened to one of the...
That was laughing.
And I sped up my beer.
Do we have the wide of that?
I didn't see it.
Oh man.
Would you try to kill him?
I didn't see it. I just imagine his like straight face like
Why are you for like you don't find a cup and drink
Is that it was in his room
I was talking table and we were like, that's good. I didn't even look at it.
I said it was in his room.
And he didn't feel like going all the way to the kitchen
to put my like, rummage around the dog.
So he just took the one that was in his room
and went to the fridge and filled it.
You have to go to the kitchen to eat more than anything.
Yeah, you just try and have an old dusty old candle.
Even a cup I find I'm gonna rinse it out.
I have dust and stuff.
Yeah, so do I.
I mean, I'm gonna start hiding all my vases and stuff. I don't know if he vases it. I'm gonna see it out. I'm gonna have dust and yeah, so do I. I mean, I'm gonna have to like stop hiding all my vases and stuff.
I don't know if he vases.
If I get, I'm gonna get like one of your cats
and be like, the glasses here scratch a lot.
What do you mean?
Drink a water out of your cat.
I saw someone pull a damn.
He got scratched by the cat.
I got to play, I can't show the footage,
but I guess I can play the sound there's Dan, there he is.
He, Dan lost weight?
Weirdly looks like he has a tan line for a bikini bit.
Like, oh yeah, he was saying about that.
He was saying about how the sun hits him now.
It's like, he sort of shaved his skin completely.
Anyway, he made the, you know, you know, like when someone is shocked and hurt at the same
time and then you're not ready to yell, like in movies when it's like you get attacked
it's like, but in reality, you might have your vocal cords in like a different place or
and it doesn't sound as, you know, butch.
This is the noise Dan made when he got attacked by my cat.
He kicked it in the head by accident.
So he was running on the stairs but he was holding something so he couldn't look down.
So he just like knocked into me, he was just sat on the stairs and then he gave it a little rub on the head and some he was just like
And nope nope, but he just like swatted his leg and he went
He is just a barrel a lot. I saw I saw someone order coffee
Dan Grouchy style this weekend
I was at a coffee shop and I walked in and there was a small line.
There were two people ordering, then there was another dude kind of standing off to the side.
So I like I kind of got behind all of them.
The two people ordering, they get their order in.
The guy who's kind of off to the side,
they deals with the first two people and looks at the guy who's off to the side and goes,
are you done? Are you ready to order now?
She sounded kind of annoyed with him. I was like, that's kind of a weird thing.
He must have been standing there a while or something, like looking at the menu.
Yeah.
And he goes, yeah, I know what I want.
He steps up to the bar and he goes,
I want a latte cappuccino.
And she just kind of put their head down and goes,
do you want a latte or do you want a cappuccino? then the price. Oh, I mean, and in terms of the drink
They're almost the same anyway. I think cappuccino has foam. Yeah, it has more foam
So she just seems defeated. She's like, you know a latte or do you want a cappuccino?
latte
You just made me think about Dan just reading across the menu
To be fair though if you're not into coffee and you try and get into coffee
It's like hey, I'm someone who goes to Starbucks now,
it's intimidating.
I don't know what any of that shit is.
Yeah, that's true.
The weird part of me was he had purposely
stepped to the side and studied the menu.
And that's when you'd come up with,
because he was still there.
He's like, I've got this.
I'm gonna nail it.
I'm gonna, I know exactly what I want.
And then he got up to the front and messed it up,
but I bet you.
I want a hamburger, cheeseburger.
Oh, there was a lot of interesting.
You ever watch videos on public freak out on Reddit?
There was, it's like people just losing their shit in public.
There was one recently where this guy was walking.
He had walked up to the drive through a window at Wendy's
because I guess they had given him.
He had ordered a hamburger, but they put cheese on it.
And he was screaming at them that all cheeseburgers are hamburgers,
but not all hamburgers or cheeseburgers.
And I would just point that he wasn't them
that they couldn't figure it out,
and they couldn't give him a hamburger
because he wanted a hamburger, not a cheeseburger.
I've had to do that before,
order a cheeseburger without the cheese. Why?
Because that's what they might have on the menu, a cheeseburger.
And I'm like, I don't want a cheeseburger but without the cheese.
What place has only a cheeseburger and no hamburger?
I don't know. Why wouldn't you want cheese on your burger?
Also, why put that on them? Why not just scrape the cheese out?
Because it looks all melted and gooey.
Do you just hate cheese?
No, no, I like cheese.
I just don't like basic American cheese because it's too like plasticky and gross. Yeah. you just hate cheese? No, no, I like cheese. I just don't like basic American cheese
because it's too like plasticky and gross.
Yeah.
I like nice cheese.
So you like would you bring your own cheese
to a cheeseburger and replace it?
I wouldn't bring my own to it.
I would just get no cheese.
I would, if I was gonna go to somewhere
and cook burgers, I might bring my own cheese.
Am I gonna do that craft?
What kind of cheese do you like?
I think it's gonna hit the spot sometimes.
Oh, provolones good, blue cheese.
Provence sucks dude.
It's so much better than Americans.
Provence overrated as fuck.
It's better than Americans craft singles or something.
It's Pepper Jack.
Pepper Jack is good.
Basically anything but American.
I just don't like American cheese.
Oh, a Colby.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jack.
Yeah.
I just don't.
Cheddar, I'm like, it depends on if it's good cheddar.
I'm like, good.
It's a weird muscle.
I'm like, I can cheddar shocks.
Yeah, it does.
It's very overrated.
I felt like I liked it when I was younger.
Cheddar.
Yeah, it's, it's,
and now I like cheddar more than American.
Now, I'm not even a cheddar fan.
I think I'm starting to wonder,
why do we even have cheddar?
I like a shop English cheddar. You'd find an a plowman's yeah because it has taste. Yeah.
Plastic plowman's lunch. I like plastic cheese. You say that like that.
I'm not sure it's just like a basic and you could get it in a sandwich too. Plowman's lunch.
Plowman's lunch. Oh plowman's spelled Oh, Plowman's spelt a different way.
Is that like a brand or is that like a type?
Is that like a...
Oh, W.
Is a Plowman like a guy that plows up and down?
Is that, wait, is that how you spell plow?
You plow the...
Yeah.
Mr. Plow.
What's it?
What?
Like a snow plow you spell PLOW.
Yeah.
Tell me you want to beer the note. Pl. Yeah, tell me you want to be here
No, uh Plowman's lunch is an English cold meal of bread cheese and onions. Is that usually accompanied by butter and pickle?
Why do they why why the name is it like I assume people who operated
Oh, I was sucked that down
That's just a good way border. Yeah, that's not just
That is that's more than plow that's more than a plowman's meal. That's more than what more than
That's more than a plow breakfast, right? What are you calling it?
P.L.O.W. breakfast a plowman. What was it? Yeah, what did you say a second ago?
I'm still trying to do what a plowmanoman is. Just a guy that plows a field. The guy who plows a field, dude.
So it's like a field hands meal.
Yeah.
Okay, I didn't know if Ploman was like a brand or something.
I assume it's been a thing since like the 1300s or something.
Okay.
You give me a Ploman.
You don't want the man.
No, you don't want the guy.
The Ploman is a lunch.
I want a Ploman, you.
Yeah.
Oh.
If you go to, if you go, if I go pierce the plowman's creed circa 1394,
mentioned the traditional plowman's meal of bread, cheese, and beer.
That was just a random year I threw out. You're fucking nailed.
Wow.
Accidentally nailed it.
If I go into somewhere in England and say, give me a plowman's meal,
where are we talking about donuts?
Cause you want to get it.
Just a pub like a, like a, like an English pub that has food.
Well, as with places here, it does have to be on the menu for you to order it.
That's not true.
That's not entirely true because I've ordered a hamburger.
Damn, I'm like a mailed in a product right back.
But yeah, there are multiple pubs
that would give you a plowman sandwich or a plowman's lunch.
All right, yeah.
What would the American equivalent to that be?
Chips and queso?
Chips and salsa?
I think you could generalize to America.
Do you think chips and salsa's an American dish?
I just wanna clarification on that.
You're an American restaurant. Oh, you're gonna know what's an American dish. I just want to clear the kitchen on that. I think you know American restaurants.
Oh, you guys, I just want to know what's going on here.
Something that most Americans would understand.
Oh, God, Damon.
Not a little bit of fucking fool.
Let me get this one.
What would be the equivalent in America?
I think like a chicken pot pie or something, right?
No, that's more English than that.
Well, I mean, what is America?
Anyway, it's just a bunch of Europeans and Mexicans
hug it out.
Yeah.
So we're talking about the Mexicans.
We're Spaniards at one point.
So I just said, it's Europeans and indigenous people
who got fucked over some Asians.
Dude, I guess some of you guys really love downtown.
The fucking Rot Rally was back this weekend.
I think it's loud.
The Republic of Texas, Rally.
It's a motorcycle rally.
That's, yep.
There you go.
And thank you for the context for those who've learned
from Austin and don't have to hear the awful noises.
It is so fucking annoying, especially living downtown.
Like I had to have a white noise maker on the entire weekend
because I just could kept hearing,
it sounded like an army of bikers
were circling by apartment complex.
It was awful.
And something about like the on the way up to like max revs,
there's a certain frequency where I can just feel my age
room's going like, ggg, and it like lingas sometimes.
Like, god, ow.
I can go to some of that wax right now.
I'm nowhere near this and it sucks
It's nothing worse. Do you know what happens like once a year, right? Yeah, I think it's sometimes
I'm like as June yeah, and send that just like so there just be thousands of
Friendsy when I was in college. I did a naked bike ride
Do you want to make it? I didn't go full naked because I, I didn't want to get busted and I knew that it wasn't legal.
So I had like the tiniest of tiny underwear shorts on.
But this whole group that I was with, we started out, where do they do E.O.R.'s birthday?
Peace Park?
Peace Park.
Yeah, so we were all meeting at Peace Park.
That was like the rally point.
And then we like went past the Capitol, then we went to E6, then we went down, we ended
up on Sixth Street. And it during a rock rally weekend. So it was
Austin bikers and regular bikers. It was the weirdest mix of the two crowds, but it was
also pretty good.
Do you go skinny dipping often? Have you been skinny dipping? Have you been skinny dipping?
Yeah.
You all been skinny dipping? No, I've never done that. How about you, Chris? I don't want
to get in my tackle out in public. I don't. Yeah, I'm not.
I'm not in public.
I'm not in public.
I'm in public.
I'm in public.
If there's a camera there, but if it's for fun on my own time, no.
What?
That's the most backwards thing.
Can I tell you a calendar?
Yeah.
No, what I'm saying though is like, no, I feel like you are one of the few people on earth
that would have that response.
I will get naked if there's a camera around, but if it's on my own, I will give up for
some people to help me with my nakedness.
I guess I do. If it's like, if it's like, not on my own, who's the less than me when skinny
dipping, like a year or two ago, a couple of year or two ago, at the pool where I live,
late at night. There's a tradition at Rice University where once or twice a month,
there's a group that will get together and they'll run around campus nude.
It's like a club that meets at like, and at on the 13th of the month at like around 10pm,
that I'll meet and then just run around campus naked and plaster themselves up against the library window.
Do you imagine just going working late at the library not knowing it's coming?
Oh, yeah, I've been there. I've done that.
And then you look up and there's someone rubbing their junk up on the window.
You're like, oh, right. That's what it is.
That's what it is. That's the 13th.
Twice. They did that for the underrun. So people were still in underwear.
But like everybody shows up and they donated the clothes they were wearing, and then we all went for a run
around campus and we went through the PCL,
the library, and like we were like the quietest mob running
through where all just in our,
and we were such a massive group that the cops,
campus police couldn't fucking do anything about it, you know.
It's a good time.
So they joined.
Yeah.
You served their authority.
I had an Instagram train recently when I was in England.
I just bought a ticket, got on a train to London.
And then, what did you say?
Was it a flasher?
No.
Wait, is it just jumping off at the same time?
It's a bit easier.
What we did talk about that earlier was a, yeah.
But one of the stops, a bunch of kids got on.
They're probably like 10.
Between 9 and 11 maybe, just like eight kids.
You never forget they come
They just come like screaming onto the train
Immediately like the first one like grabs two of the holding bars and like does a back flip and then a bunch of other people to start
Like messing up everyone's hair who's sat on the train and I was like
What is happening and there's this like buff like probably like 25 year dude. And one of the kids was just doing this to him.
And the guy was like, what do I do?
He's shiled.
And then they were coming towards me.
I was like, and in the very short amount of time
that it took him to get to me, I was like,
is it okay to punch a 10 year old in the face
if he's doing that to you, if he's like messing with you?
And I was like, I don't think I can punch him.
I don't think I can even shove him off me.
Do you just have to sit there and get like
touched by children?
There was your British and your American sides
fighting internally.
I don't know what I was gonna do.
You're on camera.
What?
You're most likely on camera.
Yeah, probably.
So I was just like, oh no, oh no, oh no.
And I just couldn't make up my mind.
I'm like, would I push him off me?
Would I just sit there like that confused guy
or would I just give him a thump right in his chops?
And thankfully he just never got to me.
He just like, they just like ran around.
That's a weird power.
And then they got off at the next station
and just like hopped the railings around.
Of course he did.
And I was just like, wow,
I really didn't know what I was gonna do.
I assume because my British side, you know,
takes priority, I would have just sat there
and just taken it in,
and be like, well, that's not good to me.
What'd you have done?
I feel like I would have spartan kicked him.
Like as soon as he came to me,
like if I was sitting or standing, I would have just gone.
But then, because then,
when he got sick, I imagine the headline,
Blaine Gibson from Ristis,
Kicks and Child in the Face.
Ah, it would have been a chance,
and it would have been more of a, not a kick,
but more of just like a...
A shove with your foot
Yeah, just get off me. Oh, if that was CCTV though you there's no way you could have come off well
The little shit like our fucking
You beat it
It sounds like it could have been a bit for get-factor
Like children run a muck. Yeah, how do you control them? That's like a weird power,
like a child can do.
And like, I didn't know, and I'm 20 years too late.
Yeah, I could have been a little
just a great of everything when I was a child.
I was too in line, yeah.
I was very afraid of getting even told off
by a teacher with my parents.
There was a mass robbing in,
there was a train robbing actually in Oakland recently.
Like last year or two years ago, where it was just a mob of people boarded a rail in Oakland
and just fucking robbed everybody on the train. But there were so many of them that like no one
resisted and I don't think there was any arrests. Did you ever watch that I am the machine video?
Oh yeah. Yeah. That's exactly what that I am the machine video? Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That's exactly what that makes me think of.
What is that?
I'll send it to you later, but it's like a,
what's the guy saying, Bert Kirschner?
Yeah, it's on the Joe Rogan podcast.
Yeah, he tells the story about how,
it's a really long story.
It's not like the Russian short version.
He takes a Russian language class when he's in college,
then they take a trip to Russia.
Then when he's there, he befriends Russian mobsters
and they're on a train going from one city to another. And the mobsters get drunk and they all robbed the train.
Shit. And he, he, he helps them rob.
Did he have a choice? Well, he was like part of the Russian mafia at that point. Cool. I guess it's a fucking crazy story.
crazy story. That might be number one crazy story. It's a buy civilian. Yeah, absolutely. Listen to it. It's a it's a
really wild story. Yeah, let me read this thing over here.
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Did I, Chris, did I talk about the Freshly-Swee's Juice thing?
I don't even know if you remember this.
What?
I haven't tweaked.
So Chris and I went to get lunch at Kirby Lane this one time and we're sitting down and Chris is a very nice person
He's never rude, but this one time I was with Chris and I just wanted to fucking ejector seat out of the booth
That we were sitting in because the waiter comes up and they're like hey, can I take you guys orders?
I was like yeah, I'll take a coffee and he was like
With your freshly squeezed juice is it like how fresh is it?
And the waiter was like I'm, like what do you mean?
He's like, well is it like, was it squeezed today?
Like, do you guys squeeze it?
And he was like, well, I don't,
I think we get it from somewhere else.
He's like, so you get your freshly squeezed juice
from another place.
And he's like, yeah, and he's like, hmm.
That's not, that's not freshly squeezed.
I didn't say it like you fucking did it because I was
squeezed.
Did you squeeze at the restaurant or is it like freshly squeezed
that we've shipped from who knows where that's not fresh?
What, you try to ask if it's from concentrate
or you knew it was freshly squeezed.
Yeah, you just wanted to be like,
like with an arm that's out there.
You wanted it squeezed to order. Yes, or was it, yeah, or is it at least
squeezed in that restaurant? Right. And the guy was like, no, we get it from a
carton and he's like, oh, that's not for sure. Well, that's the isn't.
Freshly squeezed from a carton. I'm kind of on Chris's side here.
It was just a very awful conversation to be in the middle of because
of just sitting there like, I should fucking die right now.
Cause the guy was like, what fucking drink do you want, dude?
And then Chris is just like,
mean, dance it already.
It's pretty sweet juice now, is it?
You want the OJ latte, cappuccino?
Oh, speaking of OJ.
Simpson, he got Twitter.
He got Twitter.
He's on Twitter.
Oh, he got perfect segue.
And it's so fucking weird to me.
You hit that video the day and then right before the podcast,
Eric was showing me that, oh no,
I think I just saw Eric was sitting here.
That Bill Cosby had a Father's Day tweet.
Oh yeah, dude.
They're coming out of the woodwork to say
horrible things about the past trends.
So I looked, right?
So I'm like, Bill Cosby had a father's day tweet.
So I looked at it and I thought,
Bill Cosby has 3.5 million Twitter followers.
How does Bill Cosby have more followers than me?
Well, he's Bill Cosby.
No, I mean, as he claims, he's America's dad.
Yeah, he did say that in his father's day tweet.
Bill Cosby, sex offender, more tweets than Gus Roll.
Well, allegedly, allegedly or he's jailed.
Well, like, how many, okay, then yeah, how many, okay, like Charles Manson.
He didn't have Twitter did. I know. I know. I'm just saying. I'm gonna say if he did,
if he, he would have, he would have like seven million followers. Yeah. If he had Twitter,
he would, everyone would follow Charles especially if he if he just I mean he had a lot of followers in real life exactly like 12
Well, I mean
Before social media that was a lot like no one follows
What do you mean? I've got 12 he's got a he's got it. He had a cult. Yeah, he would definitely have a lot of Twitter followers
Yeah, I mean I think what Jesus had 12 as well.
What was that?
It was 13, wasn't it?
Was it?
Then one ended up being not so great.
Yeah, yeah.
This is a recap of an old podcast story,
but Chris was telling me on the stream today,
we're streaming a Doom.
And he was telling me how he confronted his mom
on the Easter Bunny and he was like a sitter down like,
so the Easter Bunny's fake.
Yes, Chris.
What about Santa's?
He fake?
Yes, Chris.
What about Jesus, mom?
That's just like fucking died.
No, no, he's real.
What was the rest of that one?
He's real?
Oh, yeah, she said that.
Yeah, he's real.
So, Chris, first of all,
first of all, squeeze juice.
So we were talking briefly about this
before the podcast started.
You haven't watched Chernobyl yet, right?
I watched it tonight.
Have Blaine and Chris go watch it.
I watched it.
Yeah, I watched it.
So I watched it.
I loved it.
That was a great show.
And the other day I was thinking I was like,
I wonder if there's anything in our day-to-day life that has radiation, like you don't think about, right?
Like I think about all those people who evacuated Pripyat.
Like did anybody go in afterwards and like,
loot their houses and then like resell some of the stuff
they left behind?
Oh, yeah.
What if you had bought something like a eBay
and it turned out?
Oh, that was radiation.
Right, like it was there and then you got it.
So,
did you buy? I bought a Ge your counter. Oh my god, you did
That's like the full-out noise
I'll let's see. Well do the no it's a little it beeps. Oh, that's not as cool as like click-to-click
So we so then that the thing was I was really it's a weird thing to say, but I was disappointed.
I couldn't, I couldn't find anything.
What is it, point it out?
The things can be it you'll want me disappointed.
I couldn't find anything radioactive, but I guess I thought that was a good thing.
We have some things here that I wanted to test to see if they were radioactive.
Hey.
Hey.
We were messing with this thing earlier
and it wasn't going off at all.
Now, no, no.
Is it a set interval?
No.
Anytime it.
All right, time it.
It's detecting stuff.
Because you set it to 0.1, right?
Yeah, I set it to 0.1.
And...
Runkins? Micro- seavers an hour.
Something.
Yeah.
Getting closer to something.
So, uh, you try to find like raid on us that way.
Right.
So there's a merikium, a merikium.
That's a lot.
It's it.
It's smoke detectors.
That's how the, the radioactive Boy Scout got it.
Right. That's what made me think what?
Look, there's a guy who he's
harvesting, wasn't it?
Yeah, he considered himself like a trial prodgy and stuff
and he was trying to like do like nuclear physics
in his parents' basements, parents that he can
fucking know about it using the Boy Scouts.
And he started just buying smoke detectors
and going to junkyards and collecting smoke detectors
and collecting all the radioactive material in them and just started doing experiments with radioactive material and they fucking died because he I will I guess he didn't die like a shot from yeah substance abuse so kitty later also apparently can be radioactive if you have enough of it.
It's less radioactive than just the stuff around me earlier was was in my laptop.
It's less radioactive than just the stuff around me earlier was was it my laptop?
Guess you're making me nervous So this is a really small dose by the way like this. This is what you would get in a day
It's it's only a day for what just the just being alive the sun. Yeah, so
Bananas yeah, the potassium in them decays
Wow, what's the half-life on a banana?
I think you get 0.05 micro-servants.
I remember how to say it for a meeting with banana.
My parents one time were updating the granite countertops in their bathroom.
They're installing granite countertops rather.
And granite, because it's so low to the ground and they harvest it from the earth,
will catch radiation from the earth's core.
That'll be coming through,
and I guess we're released in the atmosphere.
I'm not sure the science,
and I know this is speaking in very general terms,
but I was learning about it at the time
while we're installing these countertops in science class.
And my teacher was like, yeah,
so there's people out there
that are selling radioactive granite to consumers. And then they had just like this giant thing that's radioactive
in their house. So then I was like, well, that's interesting. I just installed radio act
to countertops with my dad in our bathroom. Can I bring you a piece and can you test it?
They said, yeah, sure. So I brought, you know, a chunk of radioactive, or the countertop.
And he's like, okay, I'll take this home. And then the next time I saw him in class,
he was like, hey, I got some bad news.
Like, that piece of countertop,
he got, it was like super radioactive.
And I was like, what do you mean?
And this was in front of the whole class.
And he's like, I put the Geiger counter up to it.
And it like spiked.
He was like,
and he's like, and I was like, so should I like,
what do I do?
And he's like, I don't know,
but I took it off of my leg as soon as I tested it out.
Oh my. And I was like oh eat off it. Okay. We'll know he's in the bathroom
Yeah, you eat off of it and they're
They're still installed I might be going home to this. Yeah, could I take that when I go home?
I'm sure I'll give you the manual so in fact late now in chat dreams and weirdness says that I should test Chris oh
I'm nervous now.
That's low, that's much lower over here.
It's really going to wait.
Oh God.
Oh God.
Oh God.
Oh God.
Oh God.
Oh God.
Oh God.
Oh God.
Oh God.
Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh
Can I borrow learn in that sound effect?
It takes a little while for it to read it you can take up to like 10 seconds for it to sample Okay, I want to test like things like gifts. I tested all of that stuff. Oh, you have? Yeah, nothing okay
Trust me. I walked around I walked around the day testing my dark as I could
Like started beating like crazy and a new small nuclear bomb went off Trust me, I walked around, I walked around the day testing as much stuff as I could.
Like, started beating like crazy
and a small nuclear bomb went off.
Why do you get a guy get counted?
I have a song.
How much was it?
That was like $100.
Dude, that can be super important though,
if something went bad.
Yeah, like you don't need it till you need it,
but then when you need it, you need it.
Oh, then someone, Eric,
didn't you say beer is radioactive?
He could be, yeah.
Nothing.
Oh, I don't invite very...
Hey, 100.
Oh, it's up to you.
I don't invite very many people to my apartment, but Eric is one of the few people that I
let come over all the time.
So we came over because we were going to get into our society and watch a doom together
because doom is fucking awful.
And he, I met him on the roof of my parking garage
because that's where the visitor parking is.
And he's like walking up to me and we're like,
you know, super far away, but like waving at each other
and he sees his beer can on the ground.
And with all this fucking mic,
he kicks the shit out of this empty beer can
and it wasn't fucking empty.
Oh, bro.
So he was like, hi.
You know, and in the beer can, like, flew right at me.
And then I heard it hit the ground.
And I knew that it was full.
It was about to explode.
It was like slow motion.
And I was like, ah!
And it exploded, it sprayed a little bit on my leg.
It was the weirdest moment.
And we were just crying laughing on the roof of my garage.
What made you think it was?
I guess you wouldn't think there'd be a full beer on the ground.
Yeah, it was like it was just the beer can who leaves a full can alone star on a roof.
Dude, I found it better to do that than to drink a full can of
stuff. I knew it was full.
I might have told the story of college.
There was a 12 pack like a box, the 12 pack of keystone or something like that.
And it was outside in the middle of the summer. There was a box, a 12 pack of keystone or something like that.
And it was outside in the middle of the summer,
and it was sitting on our patio.
We shared a patio with a couple other apartments
for like a month, and I just assumed it was trash.
And then I went over to it at one point
to pick it up to throw it out.
It was full of beer.
Aed me through the way, right?
No, I drank it.
Oh my God. It had been out for months.
I drank it.
It had been out, but I took it in.
And then when we made my roommates,
we put it in the fridge and then we inspected it
and we tasted the sample and it tasted like Keystone.
Well, what did the guy get count to say about it?
How hard up were you for money in housing college?
I guess I could see that.
Yeah, and I was like, beer on my front door, I'm gonna drink it.
I don't care how old it's been.
Was it good?
It's queso.
I'd have never had that.
It's not good, but it was as all, it was like all queso.
This episode was very super popular
for us here at the queso.
I wanna run through a hypothetical scenario with you, Chris.
Gus hates hypotheticals but gone.
All right, you're in a restaurant.
You're just having a nice time.
You're having a nice dinner.
Woman behind you starts choking.
What do you do?
I would...
Can I hit her on the chest?
I mean, no.
Go on.
I don't... or back.
I hit her in the back. Why are you masturbating? What are you doing with that hand, Chris. I don't know the Heimlich. And if you don't, apparently it's this on the woman's back.
I don't know the Heimlich.
I would not try and squeeze her
because you can break ribs
and hurt someone really bad.
Yeah, that is worse than choking, that's true.
Well, someone might...
And his defense, there's been lawsuits.
Yeah, I might like pat a really hard on the back
or get us some water.
I don't know.
I wouldn't try and do the Heimlich
because I don't know what I'm doing. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. Well someone might and his defenster's been lawsuits. Yeah, I might like pat a really hard on the back or get some water
Hmm, I don't know I wouldn't try to do the time because I don't know what I do
I might like end up should I try?
Is that I don't know if you don't try and I see me want to try and save him right?
Yeah, I would I would but I don't know if I'd be qualified to I was gonna
I assume you would say I'll do the highlight, but then I was gonna throw in like,
she's eight months pregnant.
Oh shit.
What'd you do then?
Oh, well then, because I couldn't figure it out.
I was running through the, I was just thinking
I had to watch my house.
The places supposed to do the Heimlich would be above
where the baby rest, like there's still space there
for you to do the Heimlich bomb.
Yeah, it's like right here.
So it might be actually easier, like in the boot.
In a weird way, it might be easier
because you have a thing to avoid. You have like, it's like, well, don't you know, go right above the bump.
But but below the two bumps and you can still punch in the chest because she's not pregnant.
I saw there was a. I don't know what the procedure is. I'm going to look it up to see if I find it.
But I saw there was a, I read an article the other day about how they're starting to
make CPR dummies with breasts on them, like to simulate giving CPR to a woman because
if a woman has a cardiac arrest, there's something like 40% less likely to receive CPR
because people might be nervous giving them chest compressions.
Oh, I like it when it's like, right.
Right.
Right. Well, you know, they call it that a purve so now that I think they're making the dummy so that
You'll get comfortable with the concept or how to do it. I learned it. I took a business. I was right fucking nailed it
Above the bump right there. You think I'll eat that from pregnant
Oh, that's good to know because I would have just been hands off
Squeeze the baby out. I just would like to do I took a business class and in it
We learned that you don't have to help someone if they're dying
Like if you see someone drowning right in front of them theoretically legally you could just watch them
Nah, I don't know about that. I think that's changing. Hey, I that can't be right. It'd be
You would just help, right?
Yeah, why would you do that?
There was something about...
If I could save someone's life and get sued, I would still do it.
Well, because there was something about if you don't get involved and you aren't involved
with it to begin with, like if you weren't responsible for how they started to get drowning,
or whatever, I don't think that you would.
I'm not for lead election.
According to the Texas Good Samaritan Act,
a person who in good faith and ministers emergency care
at the scene of an emergency or in a hospital
is not liable in civil damages for an act performed
during the emergency unless the act is willfully
or wantonly negligent.
Right, so willfully and wantonly negligent,
they mentioned when my teacher would say,
that's like if you just kind of like a kid's drowning and you just kind of like flip them around,
you're kind of just doing half-ass.
Like if you don't give it your best.
Then yeah, in that instance, yeah,
you could face legal action,
but I don't think you have to.
I remember seeing a clip.
By the way, I would help the person.
It's signed for a lot of me.
That's one, you just say that.
Phantom, S.C.V. and Chats hit us, the sign fell off.
Well, how does this sign for? It's like the last episode, they get in trouble for not
if you're someone who's getting mugged.
But I think I remember that there was a video of a guy
that was just two kids on the side of a river,
and they just saw a guy like floating down,
just drowning, trying to help, and they were just laughing at him.
Ooh, and then they got arrested, because he died.
So in England?
And they didn't help him. I don't know where it all went.
Oh man, I had to feel so shitty.
Oh, I remember hearing about that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that was in the US somewhere.
Now, now to be fed, that was probably
was dangerous to go and get it.
Maybe they just didn't want to risk their own lives.
But they made no effort to throw him anything
or do anything to it.
Keep in mind, this is like what?
Seven years ago that I learned this, so it might have changed
since then,
that I think you might have also been speaking specifically
about like, state of Texas law or something, I don't know.
But it was one of those things where I remember here
and about it and I was like,
oh, that's fucked up.
Like, you don't have to help people.
But yeah.
It's messed up.
It's messed up.
It's messed up thing to teach people.
Yeah.
I was watching, I think it was,
I think it was Adam Ruins everything.
was talking about like cars and roadways. And I guess that the concept of J-walking didn't
used to exist. Like when cars first started and when you know, they were roads were being built
streets were being built in cities that people could just walk in the street alongside cars.
But you know, people invariably start getting hit and hurt by cars.
So auto manufacturers came up with this concept of J-walking
to say that people couldn't walk in the street
that they were only for cars.
And in fact, the term, I didn't know that's the term J-walking
is supposed to be like, it comes back then J was like,
slang for a hillbilly, or like a dumb country person
who didn't know anything about the city.
I was like, so we still use the term J-walking because they meant it to be like,
oh, that idiot doesn't know how to walk in the city.
Oh, it's interesting.
Yeah, but it's like, we still use that term.
I don't think it's that.
I think you can just walk in the street whenever you want.
Wait, really?
I mean, I've never gotten trouble.
I just crossed wherever I wanted as a kid.
Maybe I was breaking the lawyers time.
I feel like they're very strict about that though in the UK.
They have like very specific crosswalks.
It says, look right. Yeah, got to. Where did you grow up again? It wasn't
in the country. Yeah. In the country, yeah. That old again matters. There was a video of
a guy dressed as scorpion from moral combat who was crossing the street in front of the
convention center and then a cop played his like sirens and said, get over there. There
was obviously stage. What are the arrest and for poor really funny. I think it's staged. Oh, yeah, I guess you
That's pretty funny. Yeah, I
Hear about that guy that
Instagram influencer from Austin the construction
Instagram and so I was gonna what so fake wait, oh, I saw what is it? I never out of it
I still go to eat but I was I don't know something about like someone claim that their dad had Gramm in slow-mo. What? What? Wait, oh, I saw, what is it? I never heard of it.
I still go tweet, but I was like, I don't know.
Something about like someone claimed that their dad
had seen influencers and thought the idea of them
was ridiculous, so he decided to make his own Instagram account
where he was gonna do influencer things
and then he gained this huge audience or something, right?
Yeah, when I last looked the other day,
when I think about it, he was like at 407,000 Instagram followers.
I'm trying to pull it up now to see what he's at at this time.
Yeah, then it turns out that it was all like
set 522,000 followers.
That's less than a sex offender.
It was marketing for a coffee company here in Austin.
It's good marketing.
We were talking about it, we're talking about it now.
But like at the time, you're gonna thought like,
this seems too slick, too well done.
Do you think they bought followers or something?
I don't know.
That seems like a lot of followers just gained.
People were talking about it everywhere.
There was a lot of reporting on it.
I felt like I saw every news outlet covering it
or talking about it.
Well now it's got more story because it came out as a stunt.
So now people, yeah. It'shmm. Sky, it's got legs.
It was like that reaction against, like people want to react against influencers
by subscribing to this guy's trying to subvert it. But really, it's all part of the,
it's all part of the plan. It's all, it was all manufactured, which is weird to me.
How is, how are current influences on social media different than just celebrities doing shampoo commercial?
I think the difference is like normally when you think
of a celebrity, they have another career that they do.
Like they're an actor or a musician or something.
But there's people who are just influencers
on social media, like that's their job is just
the social media part without.
Yeah, I guess that's true.
They never have like someone in an ad
who's just like,
they just influence ads and that's what they do.
Right, like I think there's been a few crossovers
like I think about who was it.
There was um, that early YouTube makeup person
who she's got like a line of makeup with like
Maybelline or someone.
I wanna say community channel, but I don't think it was
No, no, no, it was Australian. No, no, Michelle fan. Yeah, her that's different to community channel. Yeah
I don't know why I said that Michelle fan. So that's like the one time I can think we're like
An influencer then became a spokesperson. I think community channels Natalie Tran. Yes. And you're confusing it with Michelle.
The name's Ryan.
The name's Ryan.
Yeah.
It was like with some of the early YouTube people.
Yeah.
I think I saw both of them once I went to,
what year was it?
It might have been like, oh, five maybe.
Jeff and I were in San Diego for San Diego Comic Con.
And there was going to be a YouTube meetup at one of the hotels
like right next to the convention center.
And we're like, oh, that'll be interesting.
Let's go see what that is.
So we went over there and it's like YouTube was a year or two old maybe.
And so we walked up and we didn't,
we could see where the gathering was.
It was literally just people sitting at the bar.
Then we sat off to the side, looking, it was like just people sitting at the bar. Then we sat off to the side looking, it was like every popular YouTuber at the time,
and there weren't many, but I remember, I want to say community channel was there.
It was like, oh, they're all just sitting at the bar, and nobody's talking to them.
It was really weird. Now to think all these years later, if you went to a bar,
and the top five YouTube channel creators were there, and who, I mean, who is it like?
T series.
T series and PewDiePie.
We're sitting there and be like madness.
There be people everywhere.
Yeah.
It's funny to think like how quickly all of that changed.
I think we just, we each had a beer, but definitely I just had a beer.
We're like, all right, this is, this is lame.
And we'll have to.
Some of them, nice, some of them are just completely nightmares.
I go to the creator summit every year where it's like the top 200, whatever.
And it's really interesting how, because usually you go out and it's like, I everyone's
all right, you know, you might not get on with someone.
It's weird to be in a group of people who some people you really, really like, and some
people you just want to walk away from because they're so obnoxious.
It's weird. It's like like everyone is heightened on the scale
of like, that more extreme ends of the scale.
It's like, I hate this, and I like it at the same time.
It's weird.
Is it, is it that they're performing it all times
or is it the fact that,
yeah, some people are just always on.
Always on, or is it the fact that they've had achieved
some like fame or something
so that they're
Cut up in there in themselves
Yes, wait because some because people have become successful since they started doing it
I've been to all of them and then you'll see someone who's like wasn't here last year and they
Typically bloody love themselves because they're like, oh yeah, I'm just smashing it right now. It's like all right calm down
Let's just have a chat.
Everyone is done stuff.
But yeah, some people are just way too much.
Yeah.
I think on that spectrum,
like you're definitely one of the more down-earth people,
like you know, sniff your own shit.
But I can imagine those meetings would be kind of unbearable.
I'm only imagining, but is it just a bunch of selfie sticks
in people vlogging the whole time?
I feel like it used to be like that more, but if you go a few times, then you're not doing that.
Yeah.
And at this point, most people have been a couple of times.
It's cool.
And everyone, I don't know, I feel like people just appreciate like real conversations.
I'm certainly not performing in any way when I'm at that.
I'm just like having a beer with people and just having a chat.
You're there in real time.
I'm there in real time, not in slow-mo.
I've actually already done a collab because of it.
I went to Vancouver to do a collab with Linus Tech Tips.
I'm a little jealous.
I like the guy.
It is very hard to go anywhere at the moment.
Did you talk about this on the podcast already?
I don't think we did. I don't even want to talk about it.
You don't, you're the one who brought it up.
I know, I hate it.
I can't fly anywhere.
Why?
Just, okay, you can buy a flight, right?
Then you expect it to be a real flight
and you go on the flight.
It's some of them aren't.
Some of them, I believe,
I'm talking about American Airlines,
but I haven't flown on any of the other ones.
They just have flights that they know aren't real, but instead of not selling them, they'll
sell them and just cancel them.
They'll be like, oh, this flight's cancelled.
And then you'll be like, wow, what?
And they're like, yeah, it's cancelled.
Do you get your money back?
Yeah, they're always like, it's not about money.
Or you'll get a delay and it'll be like, oh, your flight's delayed.
It's two hours, two hour delay.
And then eventually it's like, okay, it's been two hours.
Let's get on the plane.
And it's like, oh, this plane,
this plane isn't going anywhere.
Get off the plane.
And then like, other people will get on that plane
and fly away on it.
They go somewhere else.
Yeah, that'd be like, well, do a gate change.
It's like, but why was I on that plane?
And it's like, oh, you'll be on the plane on the runway.
I'll be like, you know what, the crew just timed out.
We can't go anywhere without, with these pilots. We'll get you some new pilots. And, I'll be like, you know what, the crew just timed out. We can't go anywhere without with these pilots.
We'll get you some new pilots, and then you go outside,
and then the gate will change to a different flight.
And then you go to the customer service desk,
it's like, you know, your flight's been canceled.
That just lies to your face, and you don't go anywhere.
And this is how you go to the airport.
You go to the airport.
It happened to me three times in the last month.
I've had a canceled flight. Yeah, you weren't on the last Monday's podcast because you were supposed to the airport. It happened to me three times in the last month. I've had a canceled flight.
You weren't on the last Monday's podcast because you were supposed to fly somewhere.
I was about to go to Vancouver.
But then you got to the airport and your plane wasn't there.
I didn't even.
Okay, so I woke up at 3 a.m. it was just 6 a.m. flight.
I woke up at 3 a.m. to some little bit of work packed.
And then I was like, oh, the flight's canceled.
And then on the app, it's like, all right, this flight's canceled.
I pick any other flight to Vancouver free of charge. And on the list, it's like, all right, this flight is canceled. I pick any other flight to Vancouver free of charge.
And on the list, it says there are no other flights.
So I was like, all right, it's a quarter and they're like,
yeah, every other flight is due to take off
after you're already coming back from this trip.
And I was like, so, and I just like,
and I'm like, okay, so I'm not going.
I had to go on United in the end.
But on the way back, I still had my leg
that was on American Airlines.
And just to make sure, I sent a little DM
to American Airlines, I said.
Flying tomorrow on a record locating a blah, blah, blah.
Do you know if this is a real flight
that will actually board and take off?
Or is it one of the ones that gets delayed until the next day or cancelled without any explanation?
Trying to figure out whether or not to go to the airport.
What did they say?
They were like, we do our best to make sure what was it.
But what I just think like half of the planes are missing.
It might be the max thing.
We talked, you...
Is there conspiracy?
What's going on?
Bernie and Jeff talked about this.
Like, I speak to the initials. I've been delayed, Jeff's been delayed, Barbara got delayed. We talked we you is your conspiracy what's going on? Any and Jeff talked about this like I speculated initially
I'd been delayed Jeff's been delayed Barbara got delayed that maybe well that was whether
Well, bar was how flight was cancelled first, wasn't it?
Nothing before the weather even was hit. Oh was it? I didn't know that part
I first we speculated it maybe like taking the max out of the fleet
Reduce their capacity, but apparently there's a labor dispute between American Airlines and their mechanics.
Oh, that's why all the flights are getting canceled.
But they don't just not sell the flight,
or make a list.
Just selling it.
They sell every flight as there are nothing's happening
and then like 20% of them don't go.
And they don't have any intention of making the flight.
No, there's not enough.
I think they don't, I think they're playing a shell game, right?
Like, they're going to see which flights are the most profitable
and continue to run those and then cancel the ones that aren't as profitable.
It's just very hard to get anywhere right now.
Well, I mean, you said fly another airline, dude.
I'd why not flown them.
I mean, my United One was delayed as well.
But it wasn't canceled. It wasn't canceled.
Is it happening on any of the airlines?
We also fly American.
No, I have not had that experience.
But we've also had some really bad weather in Austin,
quite frequently lately, which I think has also
been contributing to problems.
Yesterday, I think it was a Lufthansa A380 landed in Austin
because they had to get diverted from Houston.
Oh shit.
Yeah, I think it's like a Frankfurt to Houston flight
had to land in Austin because of bad weather.
It's been really bad weather consistently lately.
Austin, I'll be interested to know in the comments if you've tried to fly
on American Airlines recently.
Dennis was saying yet.
Would you say Dennis seven flights canceled in the last two days?
Dennis isn't here, but yeah, that's what happened.
Oh, okay.
He had that many.
Dennis isn't yet.
I guess he got canceled.
He's in chat.
What?
Erick's. Dennis isn't chat. Yeah, that's just just ready to say it. I'm gonna beat him up. Did you not know that Dennis you're in
trouble. Yeah. Dennis said he got home 37 hours after he was supposed to. Last
week I had about seven cancel flights of American in less than two days.
That's pretty wild. The thing is though, is that, sorry, Dennis. You gotta think,
you've got you in trouble, frowny fist.
You gotta think that like 95% of the people on a plane
don't fly much.
They might fly like twice a year.
So when they're like, it's canceled, they're like,
oh, what are the chances?
But when you fly all the damn time,
you know the chances are pretty good.
Why are the bloody, why are they all getting canceled?
It's like, it was talking about it.
What's happening?
I'm so confused.
Barbara and I had to do a thing recently
where we were required to go out to Connecticut
in order to film it.
And we had like a connection that was only like 30 minutes.
A connection to the Norwegian.
Yeah.
What?
We had a connection?
A connection to Connecticut?
I was trying to make some sort of,
I'm not Barbara.
I don't know how to do it right. Oh, well, Pond. You mean, Demiic? I was trying to make some sort of, I'm not Bob, but I don't have to do it right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, well, pun.
You made me go.
Demi Sessies in the other room, Eric.
We had a connection like Newton and North Carolina,
something like that.
And we had like 30 minutes to get off of our plane
and get over in board the other one.
So we were like sprinting through this thing.
And we, I think Gus has talked about this before,
but those walkways, you know, the motorized walkways.
Yeah.
That people just stand on.
You like, you have to like, bob and you feel like an asshole, but it's like, I'm moving.
Yeah.
Yeah, but that's kind of what you got to, you got to walk.
But it is one of those things where like 95% of the people in the airport don't fly that
often.
So they don't know if plain etiquette and stuff like that.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I like when they clap when they're really land.
That's what I want.
I had a flight where I landed,
and my flight was delayed,
and so I landed when my other flight was boarding,
and I had to run the other airport.
I sprinted, I was like,
like to the point where I'm like,
it was the most I've worked out in the year,
trying to get to this flight.
You were here all buff after?
I was super buff.
You know, shit's going down when you like tighten the straps on your back.
Yeah, I was like tightened up jetpack.
And I got to my flight and they're like, oh, sorry, we stopped boarding.
It was like 15 minutes before the flight takes off.
It was 15 minutes before the flight.
I was one minute away from getting on that plane.
I've been in the flight by seconds.
You should have Naruto run.
I did.
I was running every way possible.
He's armed.
He's okay.
Every way possible.
And I was like, it was all for nothing.
And I was there for like eight hours.
You're a, you're a Mr. Flight or how to flight.
Yeah, you, you miss a flight and you're connecting and you're at the
airport. And then you actually see
the plane you're supposed to be
on leave.
It's the worst. It's the saddest
thing ever. It's also very funny.
That sucks.
I'm going to read this thing.
I want to write everyone this
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We do have that Chris.
What's going on Chris?
Sorry.
I was, my phone was making noises.
It wasn't me.
It was, okay, it was me.
I said it was plain, I said it was plain, I said it was plain, I said it was plain, maybe you guys will think it's plain. I can see it's you, it wasn't me. You're good. Okay, it was me. I started playing Blaine, I was thinking,
maybe you guys will think it's Blaine.
I can see if you're sitting on your phone,
like it's an egg.
I was like, maybe I can play that on Blaine.
That's right, what is wrong with you?
Turn your fucking phone off.
I didn't want to take this part.
I just watched your screenshot on his phone
from twitching.
What are you doing?
What's going on?
Right before the podcast, I did a story as it was like playing the theme music.
Oh, right, right.
And then I think I posted it twice on accident out of the aisle.
And then so I was like trying to delete one of them, but it was playing the music.
But I guess it played it like twice.
You can. And then again and again. played it like twice. You can.
And then again and again, put it on silent. I know I did. Yeah. I tried to do it.
Do do do do you want else? Okay.
When I write trying out my alarm because I sent my phone on my alarm all the time, I always
when I'm trying to turn it off, always end up taking a screenshot. So if you look through
the photos of my phone every morning, there's like four screenshots of my alarm. So you turn off your alarm by hitting the side button.
Yeah, I'm just like this.
I'm just doing it, but I'm always just like,
I just push buttons until it goes away.
So I always have like every morning,
I swear to God, every morning, five screenshots
because I hit snooze that many times.
I bet that I'll save someone's life one day.
I bet someone's gonna get kidnapped
and then the kidnapper's gonna take the person's phone,
accidentally take a screenshot,
which will geotag them,
and then someone will sign into iCloud and be like,
they have a screenshot from this desert,
and then they'll find them.
Yeah.
They could also find my iPhone.
Ah, shit.
Well, but what if they have, find my iPhone off,
but they have geotag
you know, they're changing the way that that app works. Did you all see that part of the
conference? No, it's fine. Fine. I didn't watch it, but I only know of the blowback from
the $1,000 stand or whatever. I think they changed it now so that even if a laptop, like let's say someone, how did that happen?
I, is that my vom bin?
Yeah.
Sorry.
He needed it.
Oh, he had to be fine.
He did go in early.
So you took your beer really aggressively?
That was like, just wanted to match it.
And I was like, Gavin look cool when he's grabbing his beer.
He's like, man, he grabbed it with such...
He's the awesome...
I was like, should I be quick?
I know, and I was like, I'm gonna do the same.
Because before I just pointed it at Blaine,
I was like, I just pointed it.
You didn't whisper, you went...
Like a child.
You didn't give him one?
I did, because I was like, what do you want?
What do you want?
And then I saw Gavin grab his beer with such a dudes.
He has them like, I'm doing the same.
And I couldn't walk out.
And you did it.
Yeah, I did.
See the difference is Gavin's, he let his sit there
for a minute.
Yeah, I didn't open my eyes.
And now he's opening it.
And he's a bit longer.
Yeah, a little bit of spillage.
I didn't explode like mine. Yeah, you got that well, that explains maybe why Gavin yours does foam up all the
time. Bottles or dance. And many with balls, but yeah, you got a problem with that.
Oh, did you there was a really there were a couple of fucked up stories I read over
the last week. I want to kind of touch on. I don't know how much y'all care about this,
but there was an app for soccer leagues,
it was an app for La Liga,
which would let you keep up with that league
and watch games and whatnot.
Apparently, it came out that that app was spying on
users who had installed it.
It was turning their microphones on
to try to find illegal broadcasts of their games.
Like an anti-piracy thing.
Right.
Damn.
And they said that, you know,
they were very clear that it was in their terms
and conditions that they could do that.
That's how is that allowed in the app?
So I think it was the Android version.
I mean, when you check the terms and conditions
of some of those iPhones,
there was that one where it made you look like
an anime character and made your eyes and did all this stuff.
And it's like, has access to contacts, photos,
cameras, microphones, you're like allowing
all of these things.
BitMoji, you do that.
You accepted all those terms.
No, that's not what you just did.
Open Moji to the other day.
And you said, yeah, you asked if mojito the other day and you said wait
Yeah, I said you got to do the podcast and you said now you didn't want to do it anymore
Yeah, you should get the screenshot
And then I replied with another bit mojito like double down
You need reply to that one. Oh, I used a lot of bit mojito
I haven't done I haven't done the should I make it bit mojito?
And well that was that was the time it's harder than ever
It's not hasn't it. It's so dead. Okay. I still use it
Yeah, I do too and then there was another story I read. I'm looking for the thing here. It's with Gavin. There was another story I read where I guess
This was in the UK this year. This is your your country been there. Yeah
Where was this this was in naughty ham?
That's a real place. Yeah, yeah, I'm This was in Nottingham.
That's a real place. Yeah, yeah, I am. All right. In the Midlands, the police there had an idea to fight domestic violence. If anybody was a victim of domestic
violence, they would give them no point knives that way they couldn't be stabbed by their partners.
No point knives that way they couldn't be stabbed by their partners.
No point, like knives with dulled tips.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
So if they recognize that a couple was had a history of domestic violence, they would just give them knives without points.
So they still cut stuff.
Right.
It's the idea that then the person who stabs you doesn't realize it's no point
knife.
Or it's just like, it's like now they can't try and stab you.
Now they have to slash you. Right.
It's like, it seems like the weirdest attempt to fix a problem that doesn't fix the problem.
It's hard enough. That's going to still go in.
And it's going to hurt. Right.
Where's it's going to give a nasty Bruce?
Nasty Bruce. A Bruce.
Bruce, if you stab, if you, if you, if you stab someone with a knife without a point if you're
You're the butt knife. It's still there. That could still go. It's still a fucking knife. I would say metal
Yeah, I thought it then flesh and give a bad bruise
Bad bruise
I thought I didn't know noddingham was like so there's a noddingham forest. Yeah
I believe it's also the name of a Premier League football, not Premier League
anymore. I believe not in Hampton. The murder capital of England. Is it? I believe it is.
I would assume that have been further north. The most murder. Yeah. I mean, that was the
time where we would refer to it as shutting him. Yeah. So, yeah they're, I guess, domestic violence knife crime made up more than
70% of incidents reported to the police. So they made no point knives.
It'd be fun if they made like no point bullets. It's like no one uses knives.
Don't give you a really bad Bruce, Chris. If you go shop with a bullet that was blunt,
what a blackout you'd get from that.
She was grace.
Well it's like, I mean, sometimes they use less lethal bullets,
like rubber bullets and stuff.
It's kind of like the same.
It's not concept.
They're made of a different material.
They've just not got a tip on them.
Yeah, I don't know.
A bullet without a tip might not fly the same.
Like, would have weird air resistance.
It's tumble, but I see.
Fly off and really just. Really just really like fat thin bullet.
I mean, people used to just fire balls, didn't they?
And that was still kill people.
Yeah, they were not accurate at all.
Yeah, it would be a hit you though.
They'd still be done for.
It's true.
How do I get that?
I guess that's why people lined up or armies lined up
when they fought.
It's like we got to feel like we're hitting something.
I knew a guy that went to a demonstration
and I was like, I don't know, there's something like that.
And they were like, at a distance watching
this like, basically riot take place
and then the riot police came out.
And like, one of the guys turned to the other
who was like, do you think we're gonna be okay here?
And you're like, yeah, we'll be fine.
And then they just heard like a bang.
And the guns, the cops had brought out rubber bullets
and like, they saw a rubber bullet just bounced down the street
and just take one of them in the shoulder,
they're like, ah!
And they're like, we should leave.
You just got nailed by a rubber bullet,
just watching from afar.
So he's lucky at hitting him in the shoulder
and not in the head.
No fucking shit, that would have hurt.
I can hit by a baseball on the shoulder,
I think I told the story.
Like the same thing. I was sitting at, when I go. I think I told the story. I think the same thing.
I was sitting at, when I go sports events when I was a kid,
I didn't watch sports.
I like playing my gameboy or something.
Why'd you say?
Huh?
Why are you there?
Because it's like, my dad was taking us to see a baseball game
when we have some time respect.
Well, I still would watch it some, but like I also,
you know, it's like, it's like,
it's like, also Pokemon.
Yeah, yeah.
And then I remember it was like, look up and I was like, bam.
Just like hitting the shoulder of the baseball
and they came out and they were like,
someone took it from me.
It bounced off my shoulder and some dude was like,
I can't.
I can't.
I'm like, how old are you?
I was in like, second grade or third grade, I don't know.
I think I'd feel bad about like taking a bullet hit,
like an eight-year-old kid.
It bounced up and so the lady came out who worked at the stadium and was like,
oh, we got you to sell the baseball and we're going to get it signed by whoever hit you.
Oh my god.
Whoever hit you.
And then so yeah, I got like this signed baseball and they were like super nice about it.
I was like, people got messed up at baseball games.
Yeah, they're finally starting to put some netting up to try to prevent baseball and they were like super nice about it. I was like, people got messed up at baseball games.
Yeah, they're finally starting to put some netting up
to try to prevent.
I know they're having it, but I keep reading reports of like,
people are just pitching much faster and hitting harder
and like annihilating kids.
That's the thing.
Like some people love like the idea of like,
I can catch a foul ball.
You know, like that's the thing.
There's, okay, so there's a,
I love watching real sports on HBO.
And there's an episode where they cover this.
Actually, I think there's an episode where they cover this actually
I think there's two episodes where they've talked about this and
They they talk about that like the you think the thrill of that but
The ball comes out you so fast like you always need to be focused and paying attention to it
If you're even partially distracted you cannot turn around see that it's happened and get a glove up in time
Even if you think you're there for that that you you need to be 100% focused. And to prove the point, they set up a simulation
where people are standing behind like Plexiglass
and they have a pitching machine
that throws a ball at them.
And Brian Gumball is just standing there talking with them
and then it goes off.
And they can't even turn in time before the ball,
you know, would have hit them.
It's like it's in the Plexiglass.
And if you were like,
oh, yeah, I guess you're right,
there's no way you can turn in time. Jesus. Yeah. And if it hits a kid, Pokemon, no Pokemon.
I was getting hit with that ball. And they also, they also talk to interview some adults
as well who've been hit like in the head or have like serious medical issues now because
of it seems like seems like an easy fix. You just put up some nets. Yeah.
Well, that's what they do in Japan.
Did I?
I used to be a ballboy from my dad's football team.
And I would just be on the sidelines.
We'd like these giant, you know, high school football players.
And I'd be like this like scrawny, like, you know,
second or third grader.
And sometimes they would like have a catch
and then they would they would get tackled onto the sidelines.
And I would just be standing right there
just getting caught up in the full page
and just take it out as a child.
And your dad's like, that's my boy.
That's our son, he took the hit.
Is there any footage of that?
I don't think so, no.
But I would love to see that.
I was dangerous.
God, I was around a football shit all the time.
I was like, I played Tebowl when I was in like,
when I was like four,
all I did was draw on the dirt, that's it.
The ball, because I remember I was drawing in the dirt
in the outfield, the ball rolled up and ruined my drawing.
Like, I was like, what's going on?
And then everyone's yelling at me to throw the ball.
I actually not have been playing sports ever.
My dad, he taught at this one,
high school in Rockwell, Texas,
and they had a gymnasium that had legit gymnastics
and stuff and they had a foam pit.
And I remember him just being like,
hey, go play and still like that.
I think he wanted me to be active.
And I remember instead of doing like athletic shit,
I dug a hole to the bottom of the foam pit
by moving all the foam stuff. And I was just finding like athletic shit, I dug a hole to the bottom of the foam pit by moving all the foam stuff,
and I was just finding like loose change, jewelry,
lost cell phones, it was the fucking vest.
I was just rubber chugging.
I ate that.
Oh, it totally was, but I was found so much cool shit.
Did anyone else?
I never did this.
I feel like the thing is that you hook up underneath
the bleachers, is that I think?
Did anyone else hook up with bleachers?
I didn't do it.
I never heard of it.
I think you're talking to the wrong crowd, dude.
I never had a school with bleachers, dude.
I had one girl, I remember I drove her to a dance
and she was like, hey, hold on real quick,
I'm gonna change into this dress.
And then I was like, oh, okay,
she was like in the passenger seat
and then I started looking off and she was like,
oh, you can watch and I was like,
oh, no, it's fine.
I was so bad. She wanted you to watch. I was like, no, it's fine. I was so bad.
I wanted you to watch.
I was so bad at picking up signals.
If she was so caught, I had such a crush on her,
but I was just like,
I love you, I didn't mean to be like, no, hold on,
and you just pull a cut and it's like,
that doesn't sound very safe.
I need to focus on my driving.
No, we were parked, like we were ready to go into the dance.
She was like, you can watch and I was like,
no, it's fine, not all.
I respect you.
Do you think she was offended?
Like you just said you discussed me.
She didn't hang out with me the rest of the night
and I just remember like, man, she was like really cool
in the car, what's the name of that?
I love the idea of Tenies, like you're like,
oh, shit.
I've had that before, or like, years years later I'm like, oh my god!
What was I thinking?
All right, that's a good note to end on.
All right, thanks for watching. We'll see you guys again next week. Bye! I'm going to play the guitar. I'm going to play the guitar. I'm going to play the guitar.
I'm going to play the guitar.
I'm going to play the guitar.
I'm going to play the guitar.
I'm going to play the guitar.
I'm going to play the guitar.
I'm going to play the guitar.
I'm going to play the guitar.
I'm going to play the guitar.
I'm going to play the guitar.
I'm going to play the guitar. I'm going to play the guitar. Do you like apples?
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