Rooster Teeth Podcast - The Greatest Hits - #409

Episode Date: January 3, 2017

RT Discusses The Best Moments of 2016 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers, Will Arnett and Anthony Mackie comes the new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motor-mouthed outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church, twisted metal, streaming now, only only on peacock. Oh, you're... Ah! Hello everyone, welcome to this week's podcast, This week brought you by blue apron and Casper. I'm Gus. I'm Gavin. I'm Bob. I'm Bernie And I'm just and we're doing something a little different this week. No for the first time ever We were the same thing as last week is actually the way we do revealing our process

For the first time ever we're gonna have a little bit of a best of a clip show if you will So we don't have to do a podcast this week? We don't have to do a podcast. What's it? We do, this is it. But we're gonna do a video. We can do a video this year. This is gonna air January 2nd, beginning of 2017.

We just record. 28. December 26th. Why don't we podcast that frequently? Once every week. We did 52, I think, in 2016. And this episode, we're gonna talk about some of our favorite memories. Why are we taking a week off?

Some of the biggest things. Someone told me that that's good. Because we're not the only people that work on the podcast, Gavin. But the club shouldn't replace the real shit. Why not? Because it's lazy. We're still doing an intro. Gavin's about to give the crew a whole extra day of work during the holidays. This year, we had a bunch of guests joining us throughout the year in 2016.

So we wanted to go and kind of go over and highlight some of them. Do you all have any memorable guests that Barbers usually my favorite I knew she'd be so bad about that I'd say Zach really by was good. I was happy. Oh, you said I'm your I thought you were upset that I called you a guest Oh, I thought what do you think I didn't take it? But I didn't work at all that I was going for a shock reactor. Yeah, Zachary Levi was up there. He was pretty top.

I think the lonely island was another one of my friends. Damn, was that you this year? That was a change my answer. Yeah, it was a good time. It was a good time. I'm having Jeff Keely on it too. Yeah. Especially since I kept steering the conversation

into something very inappropriate. That was good. That was unbelievably inappropriate. I mean, you're talking about sheeding on people's dicks. I mean, that was not happening.itting on people's dicks. I mean that He knew what he was signing up for. Why don't we take a look at some of our favorite moments with our guests from 2016 like Barbara You're working that posture well Give me a hand. Give me a hand

I'll see you the Chicago theater Friday will I blow Money the nipples that I want like you call nipple holes and that's that's also illegal there Probably let's find out who's the person at the Chicago? What's this Chicago? You're gonna take grammar? Anything who's the person who's working at that theater who makes that determination who makes the call going that was too much that we can you go mid-riff shirt You look good. I think you're very much. You look great. You were that at the back from I don't think that counts is I mean like yeah I would look like this. I think that's what that becomes 50 grand like literally the distance from here to here is 50 grand like literally the distance from here to here is 50 from zero to 50 It's like it's got to be the nips right? That's what's got to be it

I mean the nips would upset people you know that you see on Twitter if you follow the right people There's just a lot of people posting all these like almost naked pictures of them And it's all good when there's no nip the moment. There's nip that they get But I feel like just find their new Instagrams this all upset you can put your nips on Twitter Wait, wait, you can't tell the account you can't post it on the whole one Instagram Yeah, but I also feel like nips on their own aren't offensive like just nipple holes that wouldn't that's not even that bad I Parasys or try to give me a pair of scissors. We're gonna try out this chicago I didn't name those accounts. There's a lot of there's a lot of my name. I'm not gonna name it very specific

Good account the great. I got Should narrow Nick there I was gonna read something but In the rain they got a short before it comes out, but fuck this plane He so he's he wrote this thing and he's directing me gonna put me in this thing where I'm gonna be naked and covered in goo and Then there's a scene that leads up to it that the reason we're gonna see Christ now again remember I have him been drinking all day Oh, be careful. I haven't been drinking all day You miss your nipples

You Donald Trump is this offensive this and Clinton, I don't know. I don't really know what's happening. Turned down the swallow. Holy shit. If it's worse in the line, it's worse in the line shot. It's way worse. I can't stop looking at it.

Oh my God. Okay, I'm actually pretty happy. Because when I saw myself down the monitor before, I was like, man, I got some titties going on. But now that there's a scaper room for them, they look better. Cause I think shirtless, Andy, do I look pretty good shirtless? Thank you, Andy.

Can we get two pieces of ice? They're not gonna get much harder. So, Blaine, so this will put in perspective what Greg is going through right now. So there's a scene earlier in the short that sets us up where I basically walk in and I catch Blaine in a compromising position where he's got his pants at his knees essentially. So he gets in that position to get his pants at his knees. Yeah. But he leaves his boxers up and we're shooting him from behind and I'm in I'm in the

room at that point in time. I go, Blaine you're not gonna get your butt out. You know what Blaine says? He goes, he literally says it. He goes, I'm in the room at that point in time. I go, Blaine, you're not gonna get your butt out. You know what Blaine says? He goes, he literally says this. He goes, I'm not really comfortable with my butt on camera. I don't think it looks that good. I'm like, you mother fucker. You're gonna put my 43 year old body naked, covered in goo on stage, aren't screen.

And you're like, oh, I skipped leg day eight weeks ago. Mother fucker, dude. We're in here. They brought out ice cream. They brought more ice cream. Again, I think the cup was this, I skipped leg day eight weeks ago. Mother fucker, dude. Wait, here? They brought my ice cream. No, they brought my ice cream. Again, I think the cup was this, I mean, it's cold. I mean, we need the giant block. Give me that giant motherfucker block, yes.

Oh, God. So Blaine, I've learned how Blaine is not comfortable with his own ice cream. Have you gotten your tickets for Les Play Loss? Chicago? I think I just had the ice cream. I'm not a black, I'm a nipple, a red Miller.

Or as they call me, Mr. Harden, it's 26. Is it actually hotening them up, a little? I don't. I think they were as hard as they call me Mr. Harden, it's 2016. Is it actually Hardening them up a little? I don't, I think they were as hard as they were going to get before. You told me. I got into an ad read at some point. So cornered. Kainas, the females have an enlarged clitoris called a pseudo penis. So essentially the women have dicks.

Sudo dicks. Sudo dicks. That makes life easier. The females are more dominant than males, so you have an alpha female leading the great brother and alpha male. And the males have to relate the female each time they meet as a kind of dominant thing. It seems like a super outdated term, pseudo penis. Why?

Isn't that a bit sexist, though? But it's like a penis, but it's not a penis. I'm like googling it right now. I can't see it. It's like a female hind, that could clearly say suck my dick. But the weirdest thing is, though, so it may sound good that you're getting

blood jobs all the time if you're a female hind, yeah, they also have to lay their life young through their dick. Oh. And in many cases, their penis rips They also have to lay their live young through their dick. And in many cases, their penis rips into and they believe to death. And many of the... It's like when a banana splits,

you'd like grabbing it. Possibly. And many of the cubs actually suffocate inside their mother's dick. As it split off and bleeding out, the kid can't even breathe. If it doesn't split and it just gets stuck. As it's split in half and bleeding out, the kid can't even breathe. If it doesn't split and it just gets stuck. As an evolutionary side, how the hell did that end up,

like this is the best way to make babies? For rice, nose, I don't know. Yeah, I really think this is a real, real stupid, real to go down, right? Yeah. Like let's just have a root where most, not most, but a large number of first-time mothers die. Apparently it works. Well, but a large number of first-time mothers die. Apparently it works.

Well there are a lot of human... Human split a little bit, too, don't they? Yeah, you get vaginas. Um... Oh, what? When the tissue between the vagina and the anus splits, so it just becomes... Why would he do that? Because you're pushing a baby out.

There happens, and I had no idea that's disgusting. You can't birth just disgusting. Yeah, yeah I'd heard I've never heard of vaginas I mean I've heard of this I never have heard that term yeah it's like the taint is gone yeah not de-gooching maybe you've been decooched does it just burst or is it like a slow-sup like Hulk Hogan ripping off his shirt? Oh, it just blitzed. The baby's ripping it off his shirt. Yeah. Imagine having a basketball coming out of your mouth

and your cheeks ripping. It's that kind of, it's because it's stretching so much. Like a bow constrictor. And the trick she just rips. Yeah, bow constrictors are the side of their bodies. The skin will split. Really? Yeah, if they eat too much, it's okay if it splits.

It's a picture of her being born. Yeah. That's the one. The one's most famous vaginist, right? Just imagine his nipples and anus, and it all makes sense. Yeah, just like that. And there was my favorite moment.

We were in the gift shop at the end. And there was a character, I don't know what her name is. She's pink and has like scrygly hair and Earlier in the day she like grabbed my hand took me like in this parade thing and it was like really creepy And then later we were in the gift shop and I look over at the window and she's looking in the window at me like this And she like she catches my attention and I look over and I start filming her and she goes She just starts waving and really slowly I'm deloris Maybe was it a creepy dude in the suit you think probably yeah, I was a dismal once and

the Queen of Hearts was Like jokin with me and came down and sat down on my lap and Then laughed and it was a dude inside the Queen of Hearts outfit and and then laughed and it was a dude inside the Queen of Hearts outfit. And because there's not a lot of talk and I said something and all of a sudden I hear this. And then the Queen of Hearts goes, step like we both look at each other like this. And he gets so many runs away. It's like, all right, you learn something every day.

King of Hearts. It's a new world people, it's a new world. One time I was on, you were talking about like how dangerous the ride was. One time I was on, you were talking about like how dangerous the ride was. One time I was on Space Mountain in Disneyland and the ride stopped. And then the lights came on. Yes. And I've never been more terrified. I don't think I've gotten back on Space Mountain again since I've

been in there with the lights on. When you see that jumble of traction, like how does this thing not completely, like, and now you're not getting your hands sliced off when you're going under places. Yeah, I think the rest of the ride I wrote it like. But you know, sometimes they open it up and specifically run it with the lights on like it's a special They'll do like special days like that. It's terrifying. It's pretty fun. Yeah, it's totally different. I got trapped on it I do guys are a bit to animal kingdom in Disney World

There's a ride that Ellen de generous hosts. It's like a tour through like the dinosaur Like she hosts every single one. Damn, that woman works. I know. She's doing a show. How does she do that in LA? And then? It visits. Sorry.

This is going to be nothing but dumb jokes at that time. That's what we do. We can kick me off of here. We've been doing it for years. Anytime. I'm just telling my dad shit. You're going to come to the right place. Fantastic.

Let's go. By the way, I love the Evinna applause sign. Does that light up? Everyone's in a white spot. I have never seen that before. It's on top of there. Oh, you're not okay. I'm pointing things out to you on your podcast. This is fantastic. You know the stuff that's in front of you every week. You start you start. It just starts it. Yeah, like all of the people running the cameras. Yeah. You know, any of them, all the gentlemen in the booth. Everything just works. Yeah. So I think of, you know, the Lonely Island a lot as far as being like,

we think like you guys a lot. I appreciate that too. I really don't think that's true. I think it's kind of, but I think about you all as being very in touch with the internet and very connected to the internet. You produce videos that get huge. How does that affect you?

How do you deal with that feedback loop? So I feel like on the internet, you produce something you produce something. There's that instant like comment box It is an instant reaction. I don't want to answer for these guys But for me personally it goes right to my head Yeah, no Yeah, those go right to my butt and then yeah, yeah, yeah, because I have like massive like diarrhea problems Jesus, no you're in good company. And then what a subtle way to put it.

Yeah, and then thank you for telling me that stuff. I'm really confident. Well, I'm just happy you made us all feel so comfortable. Well, I'm just trying to break the ice, you guys. I know it is frosty in here. It's a little bit. It's a real hostile environment. Yeah.

So, you know, you know, I'm a gentleman. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Let's actually answer that question. Sorry. No, that's fine. We're talking about your diary on an answer. Um, I don't know how you could talk about one without talking about the other. How does that is? Which part? I mean, I would say because I think there's two sides to it. Yeah, it's like you post something and then there's tons of like it as a one way street. We're not we're not taking much back. Well, there's tons of instant gratification, like, oh, you're so great, this is the best.

It's awesome. And then there's also the other side, which is, you suck, this is the worst thing you've ever done. You're the best thing you ever did was this, and it's all been downhill since there. So it's like, in my mind, for me personally, it's always a balancing act. Like, it's difficult to really try to reconcile the two

and figure out where the truth lies. Obviously, the truth's not a one extreme or the other, but how do you deal with trying to find that balance in the middle? It's tough. I mean, you could get 1,000 really, really nice comments, and then you read the one that is like, I hope this person shoots themselves in the head

so they never procreate. You'll remember that one more probably than the nice ones. Procreation might not be on the table for that guy. No, but I wouldn't say that we take it like Kevin Smith's like that movie that they made about like going and finding and killing the people that like said. They can't help abstract that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like it's not like I take that to heart and I'm like, I was just going to commit an entire project to get it back and internet. It's pretty funny. It's kind of what Rata Tui is about as well. That's the one that really spoke to me. Talk more about that. You see what the Pixar film, Patnaz Walt,

does the main voice. It's this rad, but he can cook. What? It's delightful. It's really delightful. Yeah, I can see the parallel. No, no, it makes me. It is a parallel.

It's about that reviewer. He's a big cynical jerk. It's about parallel. It's about that reviewer. And he's a big cynical jerk. It's about critics. It's literally about the same thing. Wasn't that hilarious? Speaking of hilarity, I'd like to thank Blue Apron for sponsoring this episode of the Rusteath podcast. Literally the worst.

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slash rooster teeth. You'll love how good it feels and taste creating incredible home cooking meals with blue aprons. So don't wait. It's blue apron.com slash rooster teeth. Leave your next home slash rooster teeth. Blue apron. A better way to cook. Seasonal meals Gavin. Look at discount. Seasonal. Me's no seasonal. He doesn't like anything seasonal. He said why? I feel like people just get overly excited They get discount season. Me's no, me's no seasonal. He doesn't like anything seasonal, he said. Why? I feel like people just get overly excited about seasonal.

I keep telling you, you can get anything whenever. That's fine. Like fruit never goes out of season. There's never a time of the year when you can't get bears. That's not true. Fruit always goes out. He means more like the stuff that they hype, like pumpkin spice lattes.

I know what he means. Yeah. I want to now talk about this. But you can't pick a strawberry in I can't Who the how many fucking strawberries are you picking? I have picked in my lifetime probably five thousand strawberries. No What are you doing? Well you go to the ledge department? You never went fruit picking as a kid I as a kid I did you feel bucket so you're not you're not the 14 year old living in England now your when was the last time you picked a strawberry? I used to pick gooseberries. That's not a thing. It's a gooseberry. It's a green hairy thing.

But the phone, would you live the Willy Wonka factory? I've never heard of that. It's making shit up all the time. I think you're supposed to cook them up and eat them in stuff, but I used to eat them raw because my dad did, and I know that there was weird to eat them raw. I also used to eat them under ripe, so they'd be like really crunchy and like better. I love them. was weird to eat them raw. I also used to eat them under ripe, so they'd be like really crunchy and like, fuck better. I love them.

I actually don't like raw. I don't like ripe or cooked gooseberries. Just raw. But the snazbear tastes like snazbear. That's exactly right. If you decide in February that you want a strawberry, you can get one. Oh, sure.

Nothing goes out of season anymore. Well, because of seasons. Hmm. I think when it's winter here, it's summer somewhere else. Right. You can get it. It just costs more, because it costs more. Global economy.

So one of the other things that happened a lot this year. Probably jobs. Yes. Was everyone was intent on torturing that old set of ours? Oh, right. I think you broke it. That was by design. Yeah.

Because we were trying to get rid of it. And so if we knocked it down, it eventually worked. I think that was probably maybe one of my highlights for 2016 was the reveal we did for this new set. Oh yeah. Oh, that was fun. That was well done. I think that was the only time I worked flawlessly, right? Like in rehearsal, it didn't work. Yeah. The video didn't play. The video didn't play right. There were a lot of variables that could have gone wrong. It was funny too, because the joke for that, the setup was that we were on set and you were late to the podcast, but you were on the new one. But that joke we were on set and you were late to the podcast,

but you were on the new one. But that joke didn't work today because you're late all the time. Thank you. Now you're late, can't you know? No, my favorite podcast of the year was there? What? This one, like this bit.

This bit right now? This should be a highlight. Wait a bit, like, they were like, why do you, like, just rip it or something? Just take this part and play it again in the highlight reel. That would be a not just to cut to this kind of thing. Alright, well let's see some of the highlights from torturing the set from this past year.

Play this crap. I miss the old set. No, I don't. I'm just kidding, it's everything that people say. Give this thing. Do you think it goes through this table? No, it's your try. No, no, no, no.

Well, at the end maybe? Yeah, go for it. What the fuck your kid of the beers move the beers you're fucking no I get fired. No, but why I'm giving you I'm telling you do it. That's a podcast Not here we want to explain to Gavin or Gus how it happened. Oh God. Just say it He's probably watching right now. I'm really scared cost it just collapsed What's in there take getting the beers off there first? I'm getting everything out of here. Just give it a shot. Just give us semi. This is a bad idea Just use the weight of the thing this is why I'll do it. You should watch the video version Give it to me. I'll do it of the podcast. Oh

Good Wait, wait, Oh shit! Yep, so that might have There we go, that's a good idea. Oh my god! Burns! No, it's fine. No, I'll still hold our beer. That's like a tripod now. That's a solid thing. That's good. That's good. Was that the expected outcome of that, Bernie? That was pretty solid. Yeah, you know.

We could have auctioned off that table, you guys. I saved it. We're changing the podcast eventually, right? Are we? Knocked the window. What are we doing? What's happened? It's going.

Nice catch. That's it. I think the table. All the way to the end of the podcast to Crash. Thank you for joining us on this edition of the Rushi's podcast. We have I think the table, all the way to the end of the podcast to crash. Thank you for joining us on this edition of the Rushi's podcast. We have no idea what happened to the table. Sorry, don't forget we're currently,

oh, getting together screenings for Ruby on Tug and wanna give a shout out to the guys of kind of funny for being the latest edition to our family. Love you. We're supposed to be getting a new set. This is our table. No, no, this looks great.

It's made us a Thor hammer and I hit the table with it the other day. Oh, shit, that's real. Trying to convince Gus to, uh, can I re-break it? Yeah, sure. Yes, absolutely. Go for it. Wait, there's like stuff on here. Be careful. Yeah, and there's like stuff. Let's do it at the end. I'll do it at the end. We'll tack it on the top.

So it'll start the whole segment. It'll be good for continuity. Start it with a matching, then it just magically reappears. That thing's heavy. Pretty heavy. honest top so it will start the whole segment that you did well be good for continuity started with it's flashing then it just magically reappears that thing's heavy pretty heavy so it's the weight of it'll do it you're heavy man that's a strong strong hit

god you want to destroy it right right now go for leg oh well yeah it's weird oh there's like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh my god Yeah, there's like So I can now say that I have Collaborated with the 80s ever gonna. So yeah, the movie is pop star never stop never stopping it comes out June 3rd We're so excited. We do this everywhere That was a precious, very loose stuff. I was born. That's what it was for.

Thank you for letting me do that. That's great. It is, right? Yes. It was a very satisfying sound. Now I'm all comfortable. You should have like a selection of free smoke. Shitty IKEA furniture at your home, and when you come home every day, just get a hammer

and be like, whoa, okay. Now time to relax. I feel like, yeah, I should have busted out like a pack of cloves. You feel so, so many guys. I wouldn't be guys, it seemed heavy. It's very, you want sweaty. You're welcome to take down the other side of the table if you want to. You're picking up with your feet.

I'm good, man. Because then it's gonna ruin my little perch that I have. Yeah, this is way more comfortable now, the table. I like it a lot better. Are you mad? No, no, we'll keep it like this. Tell me if you're mad. No, we're not mad.

We'll keep it like this until we're in your house. Is this for no, no, no, no. We'll keep it like this until this place has it was I mean my grandmother gave us to me as she died I had like a hundred dollar bill or something like that. It's been like Jump sorry about the mess. Yeah, it's very a component. You keep looking at his chair You just with a second. Yeah, yeah, why Can you keep looking at his chair? You just said the fact that he's there. What are you calling? You're calling? Yeah, I'm calling.

Where is he? Is he on the way here? There he is. He doesn't like to take the day off after he travels. That's one thing that I was going to brief about. Oh, I gotta make sure. I'm always worried when I dial on camera that I'm going to accidentally reveal his phone number.

I used to worry that when you dial and it goes, beep, beep, beep. Can you tell a phone number from the churn of the beeps? Sure. So when you just press when you dial and it goes, beep, boop, boop, like, can you tell a phone number from the tone of the beeps? Sure. So when you just press on his name and it goes, beep, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. I think theoretically you could just like play that and do those old-style phones.

I thought it doesn't do that in the end. It doesn't do that on the iPhone. When did they take that out of the phone? I'm not gonna do it right now, but I feel like if I press buttons on my phone, so you're just gonna make some erratic thumb movements to mask what you're actually doing. Yeah, I'm like, look at this, I'm dialing this.

No, I just hit his contact, I got a thing. I'll go boob boob up at the same time. All right. Patiently waiting out. Bernie is currently calling Gustavus Rolombo. He's not gonna answer because it's Gus. Hey, it's Bernie, where are you? What do you mean?

I'm the podcast where I'm supposed to be. Where are you? We started the podcast and Hey, it's Bernie. Where are you? What do you mean? I'm the podcast where I'm supposed to be. Where are you? We started the podcast and you're just sitting there. Where are you? Today's the day, man. Oh, is that today? Oh, what the fuck? What day's today?

Uh, the 26th. Grab that trophy, come on. Oh, shit. Oh, god. Welcome to the Gusarol- Oh, damn it. How's it going guys? All bad. No, no, no. For the wrong one. Yeah, you're the right one now. Sorry, I brought this for you. Thank you.

This one doesn't look good. We're gonna podcast. I'm Gus. I'm Gavin. I'm Barbara. And I'm Gus's empty chair. And I'm Gus. Well, so shiny. It is so shiny and new. One of those? After a billion years, if you're listening, How? So shiny. It is so shiny and new. What was it? After a billion years, if you're listening, we got a great set. Audio version of this podcast, you're really not going to understand what the hell just happened. But you're now on the official Brand Spank and New Rooster Teeth podcast set.

Brand Spank and New, it's only been sitting over there for about three months. It's only been just off camera. It's actually been three months, right? It's been about three months it's only been sitting over there for about three months. It's only been just off camera. It's actually been three months, though, right? It's been about three months, and it's been sitting over there. Yeah. Oh, crazy times. So we have our normal crew of people

that are here on the podcast, and I feel like out of everyone who's here regularly, Bernie, you tend to be maybe the most explosive. You have the most standout moments, I think, from anyone here. Okay. I think from anyone here Okay I think his eyes twitching right now yelling at people to shut up. I'm gonna try to hold still doing a people shut up or even doing Gavin Gavin or Google. I just want to be a passionate person except when he calls it Google Gavin

Gavin's not things up to that moment. He's infuriating. He has to sit one person away from me because he's just he's such an infuriating individual. What? We should see what happens if he sits here one week because you're one of the smartest people on the planet, but somehow like your brain won't let anyone know that. It's like asking questions, which like sounds like something that you would say is that. And you also bait us with stuff. You'll intentionally make something sound stupid to get a ride on us. I don't know about that, but he will not.

I mean, that used to work. He will bait us in the conversation. Now, no one takes the bait. I'm guarded. I'm always dangling. Guarded. Well, why don't we check out some of the highlights for Bernie in 2016.

Highlights. Oh, no. There you go. So we did a, we were invited out for Bernie in 2016. Highlights. Oh no. Lowlights. There you go. So we did a, we were invited out to be part of a 64 person battlefield one tournament at E3. I was invited and then I said, hey, you should also invite this young guy, Gavin Freese.

This is how I get away with going out of town Gavin, because that through your name and the hat. But I only got yelled at. It's true. It's a deflection with you in particular, when I invite you along to something and so that you'd like to go. Kevin's never hearing him like, I know. What a pro.

What is the deal? But great game. Great game. Gus, great game. That's great. I didn't get a chance to play it, but it looked a lot fun. Great game.

So we played this. Gavin and I somehow like, we got all sorts of bad information. Like there was a practice session for three hours. And Gavin I, we practiced playing Battlefield for a week before we went out there. Cause I was like, I'm gonna represent. Cause it was pro battlefield players.

I don't know any of their names, like Sleepy Pete and the Shermanator. Yeah, there you go. And then there was web personalities or you know, web influencers, what they were gonna call our category. And then there was web personalities, or web influencers, what they wanna call our category. And then there was actual celebrities, which for electronic arts meant,

like the guy who was sitting next to me, Wiz Khalifa, more of the nicest dudes on the planet, really cool dude, then across from him was this rapper, the game. Plus he's nice, he's always stoked. Exactly. And then on the other side of us was Snoop Dogg. And Snoop Dogg, I'm not kidding us.

They were in a room. We're in a theater where they have the EA play event where they do all the E3 announcements. And so we're all in, it's a big room, right? All of a sudden, everybody's like this and we're all looking around because Snoop Dogg had like come into the building somewhere and you could smell him from about,

probably about a hundred yards away. I'm not kidding, it was unbelievable. Like this smell of marijuana just preceded him by like a minute and a half. It was amazing. And then he gave a shit. So they were smoking pot the whole time which was really fucking cool.

So I'm next to Wiz Khalifa. This is actually, this is almost taken from my perspective. So Snoop was like one over from me and Wiz Khalifa was right next to me. And they were passing a cigarette of some kind, I'm not sure what it was. They were passing it back and forth. I believe that's called a blunt.

I was standing in a cloud of pot smoke for like an hour and a half, just standing there, like breathing in this fog, fog back. And one of the, one of the organizers, they met came into me and a half, just standing there, like breathing in this fog, fog back. And one of the organizers they met came to me and he goes, Bernie, are you getting a contact tie from all this? I'm like, fuck, and contact tie. I can't see you. It's like, there's so much smoke in the air.

It's like, I can't see anything. And I was actually kind of worried because I'm, you know, the stuff that snoops, moaks, I'm assuming is like off the fuck. It's gonna be like worried because I'm, you know, the stuff that snoops, moaks, I'm assuming is like, off the flushing chart. It's gonna be like pineapple express times five. Because I'm like, I'm like, then starting to worry that I'm gonna get a fucking heart attack

or something like an all paranoid. And then I was, I was legitimately fucked up. We went on the stream after that and I was just staring straight ahead. The best part was, I was at the, I was not at the battlefield one of it. I was at the stream location. Didn't drive by the way, I wanna be clear about that. And at the battlefield one of it. I was at the stream location.

Didn't drive by the way I wouldn't be clear about that. And so we're sitting there in the room and we're talking like, yeah, do you see all those pictures of Bernie? No, next to like Snoop Dogg, it was Khalifa. And like, we were like, we would just said, I wonder if you got a contact tie from that. The door like swings open and Bernie walks in with like a fistful of red vines and goes, I'm high as shit

I'm more but he said they're eating red vines for like an hour I was like where did he get those red vines from it was like a bouquet of flowers dude life finds a way You got to read it all the way through all right are you guys ready and up Bernie's you ready? Yeah? I'm ready this is wait until you gag it then like I Three the potty mouse one go my best friend's boyfriend was going down on her And he unfortunately ended up with toilet paper That was that was I might have been record time You want me to finish it because she didn't clean herself properly He had bits of dirty toilet paper between his teeth. Oh

dirty toilet paper Oh, dirty toilet paper. Wow. Oh, okay. I can't get these drawers in my mouth. This is a nasty, sonny burp. I don't trust you. Oh, my God. Are we going on in the next one?

Yeah, two to one. This is the most shameful walk of all time. I met up with a guy from Grindr, and he had the biggest penis I'd ever seen. I had to take his penis out of my ass because it hurt so bad. And he said, damn, you made a mess. I saw what looked like a gallon of pee. That's not gonna sound.

That's not gonna sound. That's not gonna sound. That's not gonna sound. What is you doing? A gallon of what? A gallon of pee stew. Oh. He's walking.

He's walking. Get out of the door, the towel. He's giving out. All right, all right, all right, we're done. I don't want to read any more of these stories. Oh, that works as a tie breaker. It's two to two. Don't look at it. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right He was so drunk he poured the loop all over my ass and shoved his dick right in. It hurt so bad I had to stop him after a minute or two. The next morning he went to the bathroom and found shit under his horse. Oh, Devon stopped.

Devon stopped. That had been there all night. Guy, guys, did I mean, when I come back, when I come back, come back just like the baby birdie or stories. Stop it. I'm going to hear you. I'm sweaty now. You're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. I'm gonna die. Oh, it's a terrible game. I'm sorry, I came up with that.

I'm sorry, I came up with that. You did that too, so. I know. Okay, apparently other people are also gagging. We need a theme song. We should just be like a mashup of you guys making vomiting noise. That's it. We do this at the end of the podcast.

But to the tune of Gavin or Google. Right at the. Gavin old gaggle. Oh, don't be so. One of my favorite jokes when I was a kid is there's three guys. They have bricks. They find a pile of bricks and they want to see who can throw bricks up in the air of the highest. But they can't tell from the ground how high wanna see who can throw bricks up in the air at the highest.

But they can't tell from the ground how high they're gonna go up. But the ground's on muddy. So when I guess, hey, we throw them high enough, we'll see how far they sink in the ground, whoever sinks the furthest one at the highest. Oh, that's gonna get it. First guy takes the brick, throws it over the air, comes down, sinks like a foot in the mud.

That's like, second guy's like, I can beat that. Goes up, winds up, throws the brick up in the air, comes and lands it goes three feet in the ground. Whoa. And the last guy goes, I can beat that, goes up,'s up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, it's up, The other joke I like to tell wait when I was a kid was the end missing or It's like it didn't come down because it lanes in the mud Did it's like an anti-joke barber. It's exactly the kind of thing. Yeah, okay

I dropped it. Oh, no, he threw it up and it just never it just didn't come down He went the highest because it never came down so that's like yeah, he loses the contest Or he lost or whatever. Yeah The other joke I love was his kid was his woman books. She wants to travel to see your mother and she wants to bring her parrot with her because her mother loves a parrot. But the only ticket she can afford is on the no parrot,

no smoking airlines. And you're not allowed to bring your parrot on if you're allowed to fly the smoking plate. But she thinks I can get away with this. So she takes the parrot, so she gives it a bunch of like food, puts in her jacket, sneaks it on the plane. Drugs it up a little. So she's on the plane. Everything's going great

Then the pilot walks back comes walking down the aisle like you know They've taken off and they're like a cruising altitude There's just flying along the pilot comes out walks down the aisle saying hello to everybody But he's pilot to he smoke is this is when I They didn't have to be blocked in by the food cart. And he's smoking this big cigar, big ass long cigar, which is obviously not supposed to do. It's no parrots. Puss do it all the time.

No smoking, Angela. So he comes walking down the aisle, and he stops at the lady seat, he goes, he goes, how do you join the fight? She's like, fine, everything's right. He goes, he goes, he goes, well, we'll be there on time, so everything should be fine.

She goes, thank you very much. And then he hears, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what was that? She goes, nothing. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what was that? She goes, nothing. What, what was that? And he goes,

you have a parrot your coat. No, I don't. And he rips it open. And there's the parrot. He grabs the parrot. He's like, you're not allowed to have a parrot on this plane. And she grabs the cigar out of his mouth.

She goes, you're not allowed to have a cigar on this plane. And he goes, he goes, no parrots allowed. He opens the window when he throws out the parrot. He opens the window of the plane. Throw this out the parrot.

She goes, well, you can't have a cigar. She says cigar out the window of the plane. So he goes storming off. She sits in her seat, so the maggots are parrot, got thrown out of the plane. He's back up dead. He's flying the plane. He's just like, right, right, jump, jump.

And then he hears, here's a little knock. And he turns around and there's the parrot. And it's in the window of the plane, like the cockpit, waving at him. And guess what it's got in his mouth? That's the gar. No, the brick. Thank you, everybody.

Thank you. All right. Well played. That's the post show. That's the play in Bernie Burns. Bernie Burns for watching that great ending to the post show. We'll see you guys next week. Seems like a rational individual to me. All of those seem like very legitimate. I like it when you get shaky. I like it when I can see the vein on your forehead come out right there. That's always the last time you heard me yell in genuine anger.

Yell in genuine anger. I used to be an angry person. You would never be able to tell based on the clips we're showing here tonight, I assume. But I used to actually be an angry person. You slammed the controller? Maybe. I broke a next box, Duke. Maybe once at six maybe dealing with like holiday orders of DVDs like an O5 no because

there was an event that I had to dive through dumpsters oh yeah yeah yeah I was very yelling during that yes but at least you know all the dumpsters around Austin good and I know where the dumpsters are around Austin. Good Lord. And I know where they are too. What am I going to say? Story to be told on a future podcast. It's some point.

At some point we'll talk about that. What I'm going to say about it later. What I'm going to say about it later. What I'm going to say about it later. What I'm going to say about it later. What I'm going to say about it later. What I'm going to say about it later. What I'm going to say about it later.

What I'm going to say about it later. What I'm going to say about it later. What I'm going to say about it later. What I'm going to say about it. What I'm going to say about it. What I'm going to say about it. What I'm going to say about it. What I'm going to say about it. What I'm going to say about it. What I'm going to say about it. What I'm going to say about it. by cutting the cost of dealing with resellers and showrooms at passing that savings directly to the consumer. Casper's mattress is an obsessively engineered mattress at a very fair price.

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So we have an obsession I think with. I've been on a lot of podcasts. And how much free stuff. Free stuff. How have you gotten? Does it make it to a three-day? You produce a podcast. No, but you produce a podcast.

I'm right here. So we're obsessed I think with food on this podcast. You know, we're trying to work out more ways to have more opportunities to eat. I love to eat. I've been waiting to eat for half an hour. Chicken over here. Steak off, pancake day.

I'm in the middle of trying to lose weight for laser team. My body wants to weigh 230 pounds. That's what my body wants to weigh. It wants to. I can weigh 300 pounds. That's what your brain wants to body to weigh. If I was, if I just left it alone, I could weigh 300 pounds easy. But my, like, my weight that I go away that I try to get you's like 210. You pounds easy. But my weight, that I go weight,

that I try to get you like two-ten. You wanna have a fat year? I had a fat year, for being fat so fun. It's so fun. You still have a fat year? It's so fun. I would just have a gut year. No, I wouldn't.

Would you do booze? No, I mean, I just don't think it's in my genes to be fat. Try it. Really? What I would like to do, blame described to me that he eats well all week, and then on Sunday, he eats an entire pizza. That's his reward for himself.

Like, he just eats an entire home sliced pizza. So good. I'm massive pizza. I know, right? But I'm like, when I finished eating, Gavin, I went to lunch day, by the way, that was, I went to lunch with Gavin. That was crazy.

That was like, that's like a clip, we went to Haymaker. I had a salad and poutine. Oh, is the seared romaine? Yeah, goodmaker, I had a salad and Poutine. Oh, is it Seared Romain? Yeah, it's good. But I could have gone and ate somewhere right after that. I could have had a salad. And Poutine, you know, they ordered Poutine,

I said I'm not having any, I probably ain't have that. But I wanna have a day where I just eat and just don't stop. I'll go for a leave a restaurant and go to another restaurant. You might split a gut. I think I can do it. That's like me in the winter. I'm like you, guys. I'll go leave a restaurant and go to another restaurant. You might split a gut. I think I can do it. That's like me in the winter. I'm like you, guys.

I'm hungry all the time. I'm so hungry. I'm right now I want to eat so bad. I'm so bored of eating. Why don't we, why don't we, why don't we, I just like,

I want to eat so bad. Well, why don't we check out some of the, some of our interactions with food and what happened over 2016? Yes. Let's do that. Our interactions with food. All right, this one's called Leif the Butt alone. Oh my God. One boo. My man and I used to live with housemates, so it's neat into the forest to have sex.

Okay, that's okay. One day we are in our forest place, and he put it in my butt. OK. That's a few. At the worst kid's story ever. It's like a Grim Brothers fairy tale. After he pulled out, his dick and my butt were all covered in jizzy liquid poo. We had to clean up as best we could using leaves and my hoodie.

Why? We had to clean up as best we could using leaves and my hoodie It's not fair and wearing a hoodie I got this I'm good. I'm gonna kind of climb me up here So let's Bernie here broke first, right? Yeah, absolutely. So I'm down now. Is that the first in the bonus round? Bonus round. Let's go first. Let's go first in the bonus round. So this is a smell test.

A smell test. So we went through Blaine's desk and found an old protein shaker. Oh! Ugh! Ugh! And it's been... Everyone who's touched it is like we've kept the cap on it as tight as we can all morning. So, how do you want to work this like... There's a little bit in there, too.

Is it who can smell the long gets to it? I think we should have you both smell at the same time I was not gonna what that's that's too intimate that's too intimate I Like your idea Yeah, it could be like when you share a milkshake I Mean you know if I'm smelling something that the same time as Gavin, there might not be any smell left by the time I get some I know. So you go first.

You lost that anyway. Are you going to time it or what is it? Let's do it. Let's do it a little to save the smell. Open. Close. You want me to time it or you would do that way No, it's time it just just time to gag. All right time to gag

ready Set go Oh my god. So how long was that going to be? That was a very respectable 2.35 seconds. So Gavin, if you could beat 2.35 seconds, you were the official winner of Gavin or gaggle. Somebody fired Blaine. Oh. Gavin is contemplating it. You want to help him out?

Oh. All right. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Are ready? Can we have quiet, please? He's a professional. Ready? He needs to concentrate. Go. The best part is the doubles are the trophy you win. Oh

Where are you okay get up here? Stephanie will drink the ranch out of them No Yes Stephanie will drink the ranch out of the... To the... Oh! No! Yes! Oh! No! Stephanie, how old are you? 21. We have some forms for you to sign, Stephanie.

I have one question. Why? I want a pizza hat. I want a pizza hat. I think we're out of them. Give us back a pizza hat, you fucks're out of them. Give us back a pizza hat you fucks No, don't you oh you got a pizza? Do we want to do this? I mean is it just I don't know Don't do it smell it first

You don't have to do this I'm drinking all of it. I'm earning this Medic We're doing allergy discussion right now, Okay, because I know what's in it. Oh! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Maybe what we don't know is maybe what you order salads, ranch and vinegar is like her favorite salad dressing ever. She's like, I got this. So congratulations on winning the hat and also take this back to your seat whether you're thank you.

So the Toblerone that you see in the airports is this big. Okay. I don't hold that big. Do you know that Gavin? It's like Tobler on that. The ones you see at the airport that are like, they're massive. I'm holding my hands about like, two or three feet apart. You're holding it, that's just like the medium toblur. What is that?

I told you, there's the super long, the ones that are like toblur on and on and on and on. That one. Okay, so that one. But you haven't seen that in the airport. I probably haven't. Like a Gandalf stick. Why'd you bring it up there?

Because you're like, oh, this one. It's like, this load's a different size. This is a total mess. I'm just talking about the mat. When you see the big, the big, the big one. The big jumbo toblerun. They're the medium one. Medium.

Okay, it's bigger than like every other candy bar on the fucking planet. This massive toblerun. The medium toblerun. What am I gonna say about it? It's not a big toblerun. It's not a big toblerun. Oh, what the fuck is this? That's a big toblerun, bitch. That's, that's gotta be fun. That's not a big toblur on it's not a big toblur on what what the fuck is this? That's a big toblur and bitch

Normally it's a bunch of smaller toblur on their all stacked in a it's just it's a bunch of small toblur on Yeah, it's like three on the bottom and one on the top to make the pyramid shape. Yeah, yeah But fucking horrible you can get a big one is what I'm telling you Where is that photo shabby that guy really good? That's a real toblur There's no way he really that hell that helps keep the kid me alive That would be so heavy if I would have I got that massive told wrong. I'd be like oh my god It was the make me a bunch of bunch of

I'm gonna say more in normal. It's a lot of it. In fact that's less gap that's less I got the load of that might be Photoshop. That's Photoshop. How is it was air gap? I feel like that chunk would fall all All the individual candy bars have the gap. Small gap, but a big wedge, is this big? Look at that air. It's just scaled up. It's not, look, if you, okay, take the volume of the air in a massive toe blurring and then one of four toe

blurring stuff to each other. That toe blurring weighs more. It's just scaled. Then what the other toe blur's way. Because it's less air. What? What? It weighs more because there's less air?

Yes, yes, that is correct. What are you laughing? That's true. Yeah, it just didn't make sense. more because there's less air? Yes, yeah, that's correct. Wait, that's true. Yeah, it just didn't make sense. Oh. Yeah, there's less air. So the big one is more value. Heavier. Right.

Right. Wait, what the hell? You just started arguing against yourself. So if I have, if, oh, yeah, I'm in the other side. Let's work this out. So if I have a dozen donuts, and one big fucking donut, does the hole in the middle of all the little donuts,

add up to the same volume as the hole in the middle of the big donut. What hole in the middle of the big donut? Oh, it's a big ring donut. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's the other kind of donut. But that's not something you can quantify in that way. It depends on who made it.

I told her, they all have the they all have the standard gap It's a standard gap in there. Yeah, yeah scale it up So if you're filling up the space with Toblerones Then you're making like essentially the same volume of Toblerone air to chocolate ratio I just think the only difference is the difference in the packaging that ends up inside I look forward to the weekly questions answered from the podcast. I'm sticking with this one. I'm with you, birdie. I cannot wait for someone else to do the research and do the math and tell us what's the guy like get some total of those aren't measuring.

Look up the long version. You canullipers. Get that little. Longest totalerone I can buy. Is the question still on the table as to whether that huge one is actually a real thing or not? Is this something upper debate? Have you seen the massive tolderone? No. Okay. I feel like they would have to have a specialty machine

to make that big of tolderone. I'm gonna, there's lots of, like that. That's what you see at the airport. That's a fucking lot. That's a medium Tolerone. Well, there actually a smaller one below. It would have been sure to say that that's not real. The giant one.

So I got it. We talked about it last week, and I found a 4.5 kilogram Tolerone. And so excited. You found it on the podcast. Yes, it is not as big as the pictures made it seem. to look about panic it is still massive yeah I think we did some math earlier when Cal State it was what like 24,000 calories in the same holy shit let's break it open 4.5 kilograms is about 10 pounds toddler on a Swiss huh why is a toddler on what is it

tell blur on top of the room I'm gonna open this up run like it's like a big FedEx package. We're gonna strip. Oh, it's so sad. Oh, you pull it. Oh, God damn it. What's got tabs? That was a little bit better. When does it expire?

So what was your reasoning to getting this? I watched something. Of course, we can eat it in one state. You can reseal it. Ment to be consumed. He was bummed out that the ones you see in airports. Oh, it snapped in the middle But once you see an airport it's a structural problem for packets of Tobler and stacked and then Listen to that one big one, but this is so happy. This is big Tobler and lumps. Yeah, I let you down Bernie asked me to pick up one from the airport through customs at the duty free shop. Yeah, well under the ground

She was in the UK for London, come come. Yeah, and I did not do that She didn't pay attention to me. She doesn't care about my wants and my needs. I Each one of those is like a dessert. No Gavin. That's way too much chocolate for like a chocolate cake there I think so. Oh, you're gonna we're gonna eat it all today. This is like a wet dream. I had one time You've hidden it by the way I definitely won't one here. I want a piece Get him the end one. What are you worried about touching it? I don't give a shit. Yeah, do your hands That ship sail for us to use ago

You broke it accidentally and now can't break it I like how quickly Gus gave up on that he wasn't gonna embarrass himself there look at this Well now you're just getting the gross bottle opener over it Don't that's bending oh you're broke up a piece on the it's on the back It's actually I'll give it a shot. Let me see. I think you got a vomit like give it to me. Maybe if you really in there I lose in it for you. Yeah, I lose in it for you I want to put it all of Barbara's dents are up here like no Takes like the real thing

Because it is. Yeah, I still don't like how it's raw. Oh, you got some time left. 30 seconds left. You want to be around here for the ground reveal. Look at that juice. Look at that meat juice. Oh, it's good.

That's meat. I like juice. I like things that are moist. I like things that bubble. You see that? I like it. I like it. Meat. Dude, I like juice. I like things that are moist. I like things that bubble.

You see that? Someone made a clip of every time David Swimmer says the juice in that people working low-date Simpson TV show. Really funny. Are you hiding? I'm hiding. Why? Freak.

There we go. Lovely. Maybe we take a little bit of that butter. Oh man. Kill this. Bob, I think are you getting wet right now? A little bit. It all warps.

The mouse, Jaina. I think we have to stay. It looks so good. What the uh? You know it's the wedges to put all my appetite? That's the part you want to serve right now. Oh yeah, that's the best part. Yeah, I don't have that on my steak. Yeah, that's the money part.

I was looking for a cut that's got that. This is the good stuff. And I just didn't have it. These are my final results. Oh, I think you win then by one point. No, no. You won Gavin's and I won Barbara's. Yeah, but you win.

I only won by one point here You won by two points over there. So you think us that you could protest based match You didn't deducing this wasn't wouldn't have caught you up. Yeah, but there's a one point net difference there You win you win. I will take the burn burns wins the inaugural Where's chief podcast take off is that it? Yeah, they're both delicious They think labor is the only thing that matters and both of you got fives in our book Those of you listening to the audio podcast I was making a steak face. Can I bring something up? You two sons of bitches? Both of you me what did I just know is what I'm talking about? I don't do anything. Why are you smoking? Oh, I know what he's talking about

So last week we had delicious steak. Great steak. On the podcast. What we didn't mention because we haven't done a podcast since, is that I spent the entire night with Vom and Bumwe. What happened? Explain to me what happened. You, one of you, Pricks gave me food points. Well, it's got sick. Nope.

Nope. So what? No one got sick. I will say this. He did eat a lot more of your steak because he declared you the winner. And I noticed, I'm insecure about that. That I watched every time Gavin over the course of the podcast went to get a bite. He would get a bite out of yours and not mine. Someone's going to get infected.

Told me they ate all of my leftover steak. Who was it? The intern. Intern. Oh, I know. Oh, is that the kid we're having the funeral for next week Brian did not get sick so oh it was So any contamination from your steak would have put on the Clearly the poisoning came from your state clearly that is not true Barbara a way more of my steak and she's fine

Everyone ate every steak. Nobody got sick. How am I being persecuted? How did I get sick? Maybe it was a piece. I was sick for one night. Maybe it was a piece that we shared. Maybe my dreams plus the steak is no good for you.

Oh, I have your death. Let's also kick on a rea. Give you diarrhea. They both got rea. Absolutely. What is that, yeah, what is that meat? What is the rea? It's like discharge.

What's the gano? Gano go to the toilet. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is a lot of us on this podcast, too. But what does that mean? You think I was the only person in the food section?

You had the best bits before. You were being angry. I see what you're saying. Why am I the only person who got a dedicated section? It's like yell, I'm gonna get mad. I mean, I like to think the food was my personalized section. Which bit? The food.

I would imagine Miles got pretty mad in a couple different spots. He gets happy mad, though. Yeah, he gets loud. Yeah. It's always interesting. It's always a different dynamic when there's like some of the kids a couple different spots. He gets happy mad though. Yeah, he gets loud. It's always interesting. It's always a different dynamic when there's like some of the kids come on, Miles, Chris, Blaine, Barbara, you become, you're a bad influence on them

whenever Bernie and I aren't here. Yeah, I'm really bad influence. It's always interesting to me to try to peek in and see what you guys are doing. Do you ever watch the podcast when you're on? I rarely do, but when it's when both Bernie and I are gone and it's like an unusual cast, like when you were on with Blaine, Miles and Chris, like I got to pop in and see what's going on.

That was one of my favorite podcasts. And I think our next segment is going to showcase what happens when the kids take over. My cooking skills have not progressed since college. I make spaghetti and eggs and some time got a service for you. And there you go. And there you go. What do you do? Okay.

You cool? Yeah. How do you make fish is so complicated to make? No, it isn't. No, it isn't. No, not my fish. You have fish sticks. What do you make? What do you make? You just get isn't no, it isn't not my fish. You have fish sticks What do you make you just get some fish that are raw?

Fish you got what what name of fish Chris? What are you eating? We name of a name of a fish you go to search and give me fish Sort Sort fish you buy sword That's a that's a name a fish I was thinking why are you going out the reservation that he's continuing the theme of Chris talking about things he's never done there we go you just buy fish

it doesn't matter what kind it matters a little bit. I'm gonna go to the butcher and go to the fish section and go, I want sword. No, no, just, I want fish. I want you to buy one fish, please. And then I just, you know, I put it in a, what I do for cooking is, whatever I'm cooking, I just put, like, dressing on it, like salad dressing. just put like dressing on it like all dressing you put like Italian salad yeah whatever dressing I have ranch

ranch sure yeah any it's it's whatever whatever dressing I have I just it's like I'm cooking fish or whatever it is I'll just put dressing on it and then I'm like cook it and my it's got tastes like it's so many vinegar you're putting like thousand island on it like yeah look it's like You're putting like thousand island on it like it's like you're back in the ocean Yeah, because it it's like all those flavors mixed together into one sauce and Chris I don't normally ever eat seafood if I go to your house you could be fish I really want to try the fish cook up with Chris and like nobody else

Chris you need to make a space. I'll do that and just get me a couple of Silences. I would have fish cook off between Chris and Teddy my 11 year old It's you can make better fish can we get a Michelin star for a food truck? I don't know how it could qualify I have no idea with that stunning recipe of fish and dress dressing whatever Whatever I got a fish I have no idea with that stunning recipe of fish and dress. What kind of dressing? Whatever. Whatever.

I got a fish. I would like. Well, you sorn with me. I can see. I can see. I can see. I can see. Oh, my gosh.

Well, it's because I can bury up my flavors by dressing. I can see. Did you just have pheromones? Yeah. It usually comes from their hair. Chest hair, top of the head. What if you don't have to? I'm just having more paromones? Yeah, it usually comes from their hair. Chest hair top of the head. What if you don't have chest hair? I must have more pharomones than anyone.

Oh, I'll give you a few. Where's the bottle? I don't know, you took it. You took it. Did I? You took it and then didn't you? It's on the ground. Okay.

So it's in that chest. Do you try and sniff chest? It's everywhere. Pharomones are everywhere. Well, that's why you, I mean, you probably, experiences a lot with girlfriends or girls that you've like, cuddled with. They were, they sleep right here,

and they like muzzle in. That's the best, because not only is it comfortable, but it smells good. Oh, interesting. Yeah, it's like a win-win. Yeah. I guess it's like a girl's hair, because that's, you always smell a girl's hair.

I read something somewhere, I don't know how accurate it is, where the reason that evolution has made it so that females are typically shorter than men is because that's where the pheromones come out for a lot of women, I guess. And so guys would be more attracted to women that they could snore the top of their heads of. Interesting, or is it reverse

where the pheromones come out of the top of the head because women are shorter? I don't know. Is it the apple or the egg? Or a pig? Jesus, why were you stood up again? Get on a damn shot, I'm wearing it. That was like one of the old times greatest, I think. What are you talking about? I can't even realize you said something wrong until you corrected yourself and then I heard

it back in my head. Well, I get the egg paper, was the apple, was the... I think it's like, for how far from the tree did apple fall Is apple in it? Yeah, I can't You can't kill two birds with one egg Oh God, I don't think I talked about this before I Fuck my parents are watching this I

Yeah, my parents watch mine too. My parents don't have a UC internet. I got head to chicken little. What? What? Wait, what? I was dating a girl. I was dating a girl at high school and we needed a place to go full around.

So we got, we bought tickets to an 1130s p.m. screening of chicken. Wait, a.m.? P. Wait, A.M.? PM. Because we were like, surely no one was gonna be watching chicken little at 11. And some little child, no, no, no, it wasn't children. It wasn't children. But it was chicken little.

It was an elderly couple. There was one elderly couple, near like the front of the theater, and we were in the very back, and she started undoing my belt, and I was like, we can't be old the old people and she was like they can't hear That was a low point I can't watch that movie I can tell you get a boner when you watch that movie. No, but I couldn't tell you what the fuck happens in that movie

I assume there's a chicken in it. Oh my god I got a driving movie theater watching Jack and Jill the end of I Couldn't even joy because the movie was so I wish her name was Jill so then she'd be Jack All right Barbara you play the house is bad now that's pretty bad. Oh, what's I want to know? Well, this is when I was dating my boyfriend in high school. Okay. We were guests at his cousins wedding and I feel so bad for telling the story. His cousin asked him to go put something away in the bridal suite for him and I went with him and

We had sex in the bridal suite of someone else's wedding. What? Hey, we christened their bridal suite. Here's to you, Bats. That's so cool. You fucking win. So awesome, I know. I have holy shit. That...

It was bad. That's bad, Bats. No, that's incredible. I don't know, no, no. You shut the fuck up. That's the coolest fucking should I've ever heard None of your fucking it's pretty gangster What did you use their bed dude? We all like here comes the bride

Dresser and white. Holy shit. I'm getting another job. Yeah, we had to remake the bed. Oh, god. We didn't take the covers off for anything, but when you move around enough. Yeah, they're not monsters. Jesus. You just,'re not monsters. Jesus. Oh, you just, you can't get it. Hey, hey, we're back.

Wasn't that great? It was not because I wasn't in any other homes. I'm a terrible host. Wasn't that awful. I'm giving about. You're making people feel bad for watching the show. Why'd you make the show? Why, why shouldn't they feel bad?

Damn. Giving us an understanding of what we have with our life. You're like, wha-whop after every single one of them. I laughed a few times. Yeah, like that. That's how you did it. It's good. It's a genuine laugh.

No. Or any laughs ever really genuine? Yes, Gus. People have happiness and joy in their life. What is the next problem? The day we could do a podcast. Just to make up for this one. We could do one tomorrow.

I would do it. You know I'd be a good idea for a podcast, which they're gonna mix, but we could come in and we could just run all the equipment ourselves and see how well we could do it. I don't think we could get it. They all look like they're starting to get for that. A lot of thumbs up.

Do you guys want us touching your equipment? That's what you'd want to do. I think the fact that they don't have to is. They wouldn't have to. They can take off tomorrow's Monday, Tuesday. I'll switch. They can take off tomorrow night and we will do it. I have no idea how that stuff in there works anymore.

Here's, I think here's what we're gonna do. As a thank you to the wonderful crew that produces this show all year long, who worked hard not producing the not only this show, but they produce all of our studio shows. Always, all things heavy off topic. They have to sit through every on the spot. Here's a photo.

So, half width is in here. The end mode. New ones work on the year modes in here as well. They said that what else would I miss in guys? Patch, RIP to the patch, invest in patch. You know how on the patch, I would throw stuff at Ryan and escalate the size of the object. And miss that part, but okay.

On the final patch, can I just ride a wrecking bull through the set? Oh, that, or throw a barrel at him. Like a wooden barrel. Why don't you just throw a guy who said him? Yes, I assume this already happened at this point. Maybe I did it. Pick me up, yeah, put me in one of those doors and throw me.

Gus seems like he'd be super heavy because it'd be all dead weight. Yeah. He's got no- Or just dead on the inside. No, he's got like no muscle tenses. He's just be like, you don't even like hold yourself up. It's more like just gravity settles your bones right away. Correct.

Like in a wreck your set. Like a broom that somebody's leaned in the corner. I'll be your wreck your set. All right, well thank you guys. Guys, thank you so much to the entire crew who works on the podcast. We didn't think enough. How let's try this as an experiment. As a thank you, why don't you guys take the stage

and we'll go in the podcast and the podcast. We'll try to figure out how to do the recording. We'll try to figure out how to do that. No, so no one's got to do the recording. Now now they're shaking their hands. We should get everyone on the stage, though. They realize that that bit will make them stay later That's what they realize. We already do work. So this was our first podcast of the year 2017 Yes, and we're second. Yes, happy new year. So I'm expecting that was that was stuff from you're not obligated to be a good crew for an entire year

It was a it was like a like a predated. Thank you. All right. Thanks for watching happy Jews putting up with Gus. You're welcome. I love you. That must. D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D- Describe the show to a newcomer in a more familiar way. Do you like apples? Alright, example. Together in Trempit hosts, Characombs, Characombs are free of Diaz of nothing to do with this

podcast. Analyze various unsolved and rooster teeth's cryptic podcast, f*** face. Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise specific, but short. Listen to show name on Apple Spotify or wherever you get podcasts. It's f*** face, a podcast. Subscribe or no. You do yes?