Rooster Teeth Podcast - The Impossible Mission - #430
Episode Date: May 23, 2017RT Discusses the Conception Process Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
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It's time to put your pedal to the metal.
From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland,
an executive producers, Will Arnett and Anthony Mackie
comes the new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal,
a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series.
Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motor-mouthed outsider
who must deliver a mysterious package
across a post-apocalyptic wasteland.
If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell,
Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church, twisted metal, streaming now, only only on peacock. Oh,
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oh, oh, oh, oh Audible, Blue Apron, and me Undies. I'm Gus. I'm Gavin. I'm
braining. I'm Chris. I'm Gus. So the Cockblock intro there was
new. You know, normally we only show that before the live
broadcast on Monday nights for first members. And it's
swapped out because tonight, cow chops debuting their podcast
after ours. CCTV. So if they ever forget to make their show,
we can just podcast after ours. CCTV. So. And if they ever forget to make their show,
we can just,
just stream our security footage.
It would be accurate.
Yeah, that's true.
It's a CCTV.
Look at you making a joke.
He went there.
It wasn't a very good joke.
I mean, you don't have,
you might even want to.
Sorry, I got to do that.
So I love having branded on the podcast.
Oh, I like it.
We're gonna start with that. We're gonna start with it. Like, I like it, cut. Do we get to start with that?
We're gonna start with it.
Like, I had other stuff I wanted to talk about,
but already Brandon has d-rayed me.
I feel like Brandon and I don't see each other
that frequently, but anytime I see Brandon,
it's always something fun.
He, I was sitting here, I got here first to the set
before we started and I was going over ad copy
and looking up stuff to talk about.
Brandon comes in and he's like, man, our dryer here sucks.
Like, what's wrong?
He said, I've had my sweater in there over an hour
and it's still wet.
I said, did you take the lint out?
Did you clean the lint trap?
He goes, I don't know.
I know I did not.
I said because I absolutely know I did not.
If the dryer is not drying, the lint trap is full.
We go over there and open it up.
It's like overflowing with it. No, it's not overflowing. It's like half full. I can start a fire. I can start a fire
Oh, come on. It's not gonna start a fire change it every time you use it on you are you supposed to do every single fire?
Yes, it was there was enough there
I will say that it wasn't that was not just one load worth of lint that was several loads people have not been changing that out
Well my engineer. I don't know how much how How many low, no, it definitely probably is not.
I will say this though, one, dryer sucks no matter what.
Even outside of that, but two, when you open it up,
you don't see Lint trap.
It's like everyone know.
It says clean Lint trap before using.
It's like you open it and it's at eye level.
No, it's not. You have to like put your head in
and like tilt your eyes down and squint. Have you ever used a washer dryer before? I have one. I open my dryer. It's like, oh. No, it's not. You have to like put your head in and like tilt your eyes down and squint.
Have you ever used a washer dryer before?
I have one.
I open my dryer.
It's like, oh, lint trap.
But I mean, I rarely ever use this.
Just didn't think of it.
So why were you using it today?
Oh, I had to wash this nice hoodie.
So I don't feel comfortable just wearing a t-shirt,
but I am wearing my brand in 2.0 shirt.
Is that the most shirt, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
Speaking of our merchandise,
I saw a piece of our merchandise
in a very interesting place out on the internet.
No.
So I was watching YouTube last night
and I started watching to catch a predator.
It's a great show.
And I was watching it and I noticed, you know how they have like
deco, you know, the way it is they have they they trap child predators and then they have decoys
come in who are pretending to be like underage boys and girls. They're actually like 18, but they're
the decoys, right? Yeah. One of the decoys was wearing a rooster teeth. They're a rooster teeth
jacket.
There's Chris Hansen about it.
That's it.
How does that legal?
How did that pass their mark?
But that's Chris Hansen about to pop in to stop.
Do they still make to catch a predator?
I thought they stopped.
They revamped it.
That's like the revamped.
It's not actually called to catch a predator.
Now it's like Hansen versus predator.
Oh, that's it.
I want to see that movie.
Like Alien vs Predator kind of sucked, but Hanson vs Predator would be pretty awesome.
He must get depressed in that line of work,
just ruining different people's lives.
He's not ruining their lives.
They're ruining their own lives.
Probably such a huge power trip though.
The other alternative is like,
he's ruining their lives,
but whose lives might they have ruined?
I mean, that lives deserve to be ruined.
It's him who has to break the news and see that face
and see all the dread fill that face
and they have to think, you know, I'm done with life.
It's a huge power trip though,
because he doesn't force those guys to stay there.
He does like some kind of weird like petafide.
Why aren't you sitting there on right?
Why aren't you sitting there on right?
And just says sit down.
And they just sit and he just chastises them for like 30 minutes.
Well, because they don't know they probably think like he's a police officer. A lot of them though at this point they know it. They're like
Chris Hansen shit. Yeah, the first two specials so many people were like oh, I watch the show. Has anyone ever been like oh, yeah
I thought this was that I came. I came here to meet you.
Oh, I don't know if they use that cover,
but it definitely like I saw.
I'm so excited about this.
One of the, it might have been, it might have been
a sign for a frame.
Can you sign it?
This is the proof.
Like, what?
Or like, what you're doing is entrapment.
What I'm doing, I have my own show.
It's called to catch the catch predator.
So that camera crew comes out and then your camera crew
comes out and then just film in each other.
You sit down, it's just like a sit down, like.
Yeah, usually it's like,
Stand up, stand up.
He'll come out and be like, take a seat
and they'll talk for like five minutes.
And then the camera crew comes out and then all of a sudden
they're like, yeah, yeah, that's like,
you've already been filmed for like 20 minutes.
Well, I think a part of it is they know that as soon as they step outside, they're going
to get arrested.
Yeah, so it might be like, well, it's better to stay here.
But I think like when they first started, they didn't do that because he cornered this
one, really weird guy who showed up, took off all his clothes before he even got in the
house.
And really crazy.
Yeah, he was there to meet a young boy.
It's very, very disgusting. So he
chewed the guy out or sorry, bachelor's awards. He
Chasted out the guy
And then they were monitoring the same guy that night online and they made another appointment with him the next morning at McDonald's
to like he that that guy thought he was gonna meet a underage kid.
Like they got him a second time.
They got him twice.
And they showed up.
And yeah, he's like, I can't believe you're doing this.
This has never happened.
And the guy was like, I'm just here for a burger.
I'm just here to eat.
Oh, that's great TV, Chris.
You're right, that's like, I have no idea it was back.
Yeah.
I didn't either.
I thought they were in legal trouble.
I thought that's right.
They had to stop for a while.
Yeah, I guess they've worked it out. I thought that's right. They had to stop for a while. Yeah, I guess they worked it out.
But seriously, how did they get past their lawyers
to wear one of our sweatshirts?
They're good.
That's fine.
Do you ever problem with that?
No publicity.
We had to do that.
I had to go through that process before of like,
you can't wear anything with another logo
when you're doing something.
You got a logo right now.
I know, it's our logo.
Okay.
And it's nice and dry too.
You could play a 13 year old boy
to catch a predator with that.
So can anyone do that?
Could any of us bait a peta?
I think they work with law enforcement.
Right.
So you'd have to have like that law enforcement permission.
Be a good auntie life like four of us each try and get
to see who we can catch a predator.
Come in.
Like, I got my feet on it. like which one of you connect most like a
14 year old.
I'll just play with my fidget spinner.
My parents are out of town.
How do you how would the point system work?
Like let's say we all get somebody.
If someone fastest.
Yeah.
Who can it's a race.
Oh, there has to be like certain other like things like the
older the person like bonus points.
You got like Mario Party, you think the game's over
and then all those fucking bonus stars comes in.
Right.
But after, like, you get bonus points
for following through with it.
Okay.
Too far, Chris.
Too far.
I don't think it was too far.
I just think it was deep.
Is there any way we could get screenshots
from the video that I took of Gus and I
or even see the video evidence of the...
Not the Takeda spreader.
Do we have another...
Back to the dryer?
Do we have another thing?
Like we have the, we can let the people decide.
This one's, it's got like,
gum and chisel over it and it makes the beer taste bad.
You can use my keys.
Is there one?
Oh, right there, there's one right there.
Thanks, I think Nick was pointing at it.
Wait, how does that make it taste bad, dad?
I don't know, it just like scrapes up against the lip.
I could see that.
So what was I gonna say?
So we're going back, now you brought it back to the dryer,
so this is your fault.
I wish, I get it.
I wish that I could spend a week living with Brandon. I think I could fix so much of your life.
Could you really? I think so. You'd start making him buy grass from California. No, that's a no brain.
Here it is. Oh, you're...
We literally just took this video. It's already, you ready? Did you film it at 12 frames a second? No, I...
Look at that. Oh my god. Yeah, but look, look how much it holds.
It's like, I'm going to pay 25 percent full, but the top part probably doesn't even accept the mint.
Yeah, it does.
Yeah, the block is on the bottom half.
Yeah, yeah.
All right, but how many people will go on me?
How many people before me do you think did not clean that?
That looks like 506 like dry.
It's more than that.
It's like 10 ten it's a communal
washer dryer that's a lot notice though even in that video you could not see
where the little sign was to empty the lint roll I didn't say it would bite
too fast I think we started after well I don't know you could it's not a good
angle for it it's like from the side oh it's not it's not POV it's not a good angle for it. It's like from the side. Oh, it's not it's not POV. It's not on the ground. It's on top of the right
You don't even have to bend down. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you do you get it
You gotta get in there. I see most people have those on the floor
So they look down at the angle, but if it's a head height then you might not look down on that text
No, you gotta get you know, you gotta get your head in there and just you know really it's like
Muff diving but with my, my cat loves being in the dryer,
and it terrifies me. It will just sit in there after a load.
And I'm like, if I ever just don't check that there's a cat in there
before I start it, that'll be awful.
Yeah, there's no how long would it take you to figure that out?
Well, I'm probably not until it's done.
The cat will probably let you know right away.
Would it? I'm not sure until it's done. The cat will probably let you know right away. Would it? Well, I'm not sure if it's your story.
I'm not sure if it's your story.
Hey, your story passes out.
Like Chris raises his mind.
My mom had a cat when she was growing up, her family, and they were doing laundry one
day, and they're like, man, is someone, someone drying their tiniest shoes?
It's like, man, is someone, someone drying their tennis shoes?
It's like, pumping, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don, don't, don, don't, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don,. I mean, long enough. I mean, I don't. That was dry and dead.
That's terrible. It's like a thing where it's like,
I remember like Christmas,
it got brought up and like my aunt started crying
just because they get the memory of like opening up the dryer.
That's got to be, that's traumatic, man.
That's the fuck, God, it's shitty.
I wouldn't be able to get the cow.
I think I would just close the dryer and sell it. Why would sell that? I'd throw it out. Like, I wouldn't be able to get the cow. I think I would just close the dry it and sell it.
Why would sell that?
I'd throw it out.
I wouldn't be able to extract the cat.
First sale.
Super cheap dryer.
I will probably come with cats.
Very dry cat.
Can you get a ghost like Haunt and appliance?
Are there any areas of ghost on exist? No, I know, but the people who believe in ghosts,
I don't believe in ghosts, I'm just saying,
is that a thing?
You say, if people believe in ghosts, does this apply?
Then yeah, I mean, people will believe anything.
Yeah, but some people, I think there are people
who could believe in ghosts that would say,
no, I can never happen.
There will just be people who say, what happened?
Yeah, it's all nonsense.
You could just replace the sentence with X and yes.
Yeah, I'm fair enough fine
Speaking of ghosts I
Rewatched the sixth sense this weekend and hold it. We surprised it yet. I was really surprised. I don't think oh
God, oh
That's spill it was just in your lap
Paper towels. Thank Patrick's already got them. Oh
Hit the light It held up really well
I'm getting to get a movie
God damn it
I don't think I'd seen it. Oh, there you go. I don't think I'd seen it since it came out in the theater
Maybe I saw it like on DVD when it first came out in DVD
19 years ago now, but man that up, that movie's still really good.
Esther had not seen it.
She was like, oh, but I already know a big deal, Bruce Willis is dead
the whole time or whatever.
I was like, well, there's really a lot more to it.
And then we watched it, and she's like, wow,
yeah, that was really good.
It does a really good job of exploring that kind of stuff.
And I understand some people maybe have never seen it
because they know the end, right? That's been spoiled. It's still a good movie. There's still a lot of ways that kind of stuff. I understand some people maybe have never seen it because they know that twist.
And that's what's well, it's still a good movie.
There's still a lot of ways that they approach,
a lot of interesting things they do,
like talking about ghosts and the possibility of ghosts.
And yeah, and really excellent direction too,
like all the scenes between Bruce Willis and his wife,
like obviously, she's using an all-gem
because he's not real, but it just feels like,
oh, there's something in their marriage,
like you feel that tension and it's so well done
and it just works just because it's not the ghost stuff he does well.
It's everything else that makes a ghost thing work.
But what about Unbreakable?
One last time, it's not breaking.
Actually, I rewatched Unbreakable like two or three weeks ago.
How was that? Did I hold up?
Yeah, that Unbreakable was a fucking great movie.
Yeah, I really, really, really liked it.
I think I saw that in the theaters.
I think Jeff and I went together and saw that in the theater.
Fucking gave each other hand jobs the whole time.
It was great.
Shaman's new movie supposed to be good too.
Split.
Yeah, that was pretty good.
I didn't think split was as good as, you know,
six-sensor, Unbreakable.
It was still fine.
It was a good movie.
Do you see Alien Covenant?
I've not seen Alien Covenant yet.
Oh, you saw it, right?
Yeah.
Because I went off on Twitter about GoPro's in that.
Oh, I saw that that I agree with that
I mean just like everyone's like we use cameras in that
But if I can see technology from the the year I'm living in in a movie that's supposed to be set in 21
Oh four it's just like yeah, yeah, it's so distracting so what happened there
So it's okay. It's in the future. It would be like seeing a
Camera from the year 1900. Yeah, I'm like, why not give them iPhones
and Apple Watches and stuff.
Right.
It'd be just as weird to see that.
Yeah.
Everything else was so futuristic
and then they had like a hero five
to where it's like,
GoPro obviously sponsored them like,
or I don't know.
I think that it's a GoPro,
like they could obviously put a shell around it
and make it look like something else.
Yeah, just dress it.
So it looks like, imagine what camera technology
is gonna be like in 2104.
It's gonna be ridiculous.
They might just float behind you.
Who knows?
It wouldn't be a GoPro on a stick
with all the mounting like a screw like that.
So you're imagining like the Mario 64 cloud guy,
like some kind of technology like that
that you have like.
It'd be just a drone that follows it.
Yeah, a drone.
Like, like fly size or something
that'd be cool
I don't know
it was it was just really distracting to me
you know what
I feel like I shouldn't be able to
go out after I've seen a futuristic
really Scott movie
and buy something that I saw in the movie
do you get distracted when you watch
older movies that rely on
obsolete technology like
you ever see the Russell Crowe movie
not the informant, the whistleblower,
something to that effect?
I know, it's not.
Well, it's like so much of the drama.
Oh, it's inside man, right?
Inside man, thank you.
So much of the dramatic tension
are like close-ups on facts machines.
And it's so hard not to be distracted
by like ancient, ancient technology.
So you should go see when it comes out,
it's baby driver. Let's come in out soon, right comes out, it's Baby Driver.
Let's come in out soon, right?
Yeah, it's so good.
Well, movie, Baby Driver.
I saw it South by.
What's that?
It's the, it's like a, what's his name from,
Sean of the Dead and,
I got right, it's a new, I got right movie.
It's fucking awesome.
It's like what you want out of a facem furious movie
or something like that
And see facet of furious. Yeah, I never caught it either What I was gonna say oh, sorry, I'm gonna step back for a second. So save that thought
We had like a slightly weird roundabout connection to alien covenant when we were in Australia filming the space invaders
Immersion we were at the Fox studio filming it
in the same sound stage as Alien Covenant.
Oh, that's awesome.
They were doing, yeah.
Yeah, like the wall behind Space Invaders?
Yeah, the wall behind where you guys were,
where the aliens were advancing to,
on the other side of that wall
is where they were filming Alien Covenant.
Why did they film with that?
So yeah, I remember, because at one point,
we were on break or something and I walked outside,
I think it was gonna get like coffee or something.
And I bumped into this guy, who's a Ristis Cheat fan.
I was like, oh, what are you doing?
He's like, oh, I'm a, I'm rangling data for alien coveted.
I've got all these hard drives with the film.
Like we're, like we're taking it
for you to go, to go process daily.
So I was like, oh, that's pretty cool.
Well, I think they shot alien, Ridley, yeah, Ridley Scott, he's British.
Yeah.
So I think they shot the first Alien in a sound stage in Britain.
Yeah, it's probably at Pinewood.
Yeah, and I think there's all those like horror stories about like him versus the crew.
They both hated each other and those all those...
That was, I mean, it seems like a movie that's very friendly to... That was the crew versus Cameron on Aliens.
Oh, did he shoot it in...
He shot in UK also.
Yeah, he shot that movie after Terminator,
but it hadn't come out yet in England,
so nobody knew James Cameron.
It was like, who's this young schmuck
and everyone was being an asshole to him?
Just being normal British crew,
stopping for tea time and that.
But yeah, he had a rough time
and then after that, I assumed it was fine because aliens was on.
Wicked movie.
Yeah, it was pretty dope.
So did you try to get in the soundstage or?
No, we were working.
We were working and they were working.
They wanted to close that.
Yeah, they would not have been like, yeah, come on in.
Let's check it out.
I wasn't expecting to like Alien Covenant but I liked it more than Prometheus.
Well you said it's only interesting, right?
It made you appreciate Prometheus. Well, you said it's only interesting, right?
It made you appreciate Prometheus more?
Yeah, I felt like it was retroactively made Prometheus better.
Because Prometheus, to me, was like full of gaps and weird decisions, but now it's like,
oh, okay.
Did you kind of feel that way about Westworld, like with the finale?
Like when I was watching Westworld, I was like, this is okay, and then I saw the finale.
I was like, oh, this makes the show so much better now that I understand
what it was going for. When I rewatch it a second time, I like to show way, way more
than the first time. I loved it the whole time. I loved it from the first episode, even
when like the first scenes where you're watching that repetition, the first couple of times
going through. I thought, like, I was hooked right away. Yeah, it was the middle that kind
of I kind of started. I can't even, I thought every episode of hooked right away. Yeah, I was too, but it was the middle that kind of, I kind of started.
Okay, are you kidding me?
I thought every episode of West Row
was better than the last episode.
Yeah, I thought it was like,
it started on 10 and went all the way to 10.
Yeah, I was like every episode was like,
how are they gonna do, how are they gonna make that better?
And the next one was like, oh my God,
how the fuck are they gonna top that
every week was consistently better and better?
That was a predictable stuff,
but do you watch it through a second time?
I'm not yet.
I'm waiting until we get closer to a potential second season
before I watch it.
Well, then do that and let me know what you think.
So maybe it goes up to 11.
I just feel like,
once you, after seeing the finale, the show gets better.
I'm actually watching Twin Peaks again,
because it's back.
Is it good?
Because at the end of Twin Peaks,
have you ever seen Twin Peaks?
No.
This is like some crap happens.
A lot of crap.
And one of the characters says,
I'll see you in 25 years.
Oh yeah, I heard that.
So now everyone's old.
And they're making the same show and it's so cool.
I mean, it's so weird.
You have to, it's one of the weirdest shows I've ever seen.
Have I ever had to just rewatching stuff?
Cause I feel like it's so much easier
in less of an investment.
You know you're rewatching the wire again.
Yeah.
For like the, who knows how many times? Well,
I remember Tarantino joked about it during Kill Bill. He said that he wanted to make Kill Bill
volume three, but have it be like 20 or 25 years later, where it's Vivica Fox's daughter
grown up taking her revenge on Uma Thurvin's character. So I wonder if like will eventually
reach that point where it's been, I mean, shit, it's been at this point. 15, almost 15 years. Yeah, since it came out.
I thought those movies are really underrated.
Like, I thought they were really, really, really,
really fantastic and I don't think people would put it
in the same level as like Pulp Fiction for him.
Well, Pulp Fiction's one of the best movies ever.
It's, yeah, it's really, really good.
I mean, I legitimately think as concept,
especially as concept films,
the first and the second one are really, really, really amazing.
Like the best pairing of movies that I feel like I've seen.
Because it was part one and part two.
Yeah, but two movies, like, I mean,
in comparison to two, like, movies that just have sequels.
Yeah, all right.
I think the four other examples of that.
No, it's gonna say, in that case, I think they received it.
It's like one big film and then they just cut it.
Yeah, I mean thematically though, they're so different.
Like it's not the same Harry Potter part one and two
or Hunger Games part one and two.
Like one is very much a kung fu movie.
However, you want to classify it.
I'm sure people have their own particular way
and the other spaghetti western.
Yeah, I'll admit, the first time I watched
Kill Bill Volume 2, I did not like it.
Really?
I felt like it dragged too much at the beginning
with Michael Madsen's character, like all the buck stuff.
Oh, no, not buck.
What was his name in that?
Michael Madsen.
No, I think it was buck.
Was it?
No, I know the other guy was my name was buck
and I liked to fuck.
That's why I'm getting confused.
Yeah.
The Michael Madsen character.
I thought that part dragged on too long.
But then like as time's gone on,
I've learned to appreciate the second film more and more,
and I really like the second one a lot.
Yeah, I mean, I'm from the first second for that.
I absolutely loved it.
So I'm getting worse in public.
I'm becoming more like you, I think.
I had so.
Wow.
Damn.
You're gonna better.
I had this thing, I was at the airport the other day.
But you sound just like me.
Yeah.
So I went in the lounge to wait, because I had those two hours or whatever.
Sat down, all the plugs were taken, I need to charge my phone.
I was like, oh, I guess I'll just pull out my battery.
This is my suitcase.
I sat down, but the woman next to me had the same battery.
And I was like, I don't wanna pull mine out
because I don't wanna her to look at it
and think for a second I've grabbed hers.
I'm in a way of interaction.
So I just didn't use it.
And I was like, I'm just gonna move somewhere else and go,
oh, but you didn't get up.
I would have thought, I would have thought,
I would have thought, I don't want her to talk to me
about the battery because it's like a common thing
we share now.
Like those are the two things I would have thought about.
You never liked just starting random conversations with strangers?
No, especially on that pool.
It's like the best.
You're never going to see those people again,
especially it's not like starting a random argument
with somebody in the same city.
Why'd you want to argue with people?
You're not arguing, I'm sorry.
Conversation.
That's how Brandon talks.
It's all argument.
Hey, have you spent any time in the new
or the expanded terminal at a busher port in Houston?
Yes.
The one with like 1000 iPads that are just lining,
that's amazing.
That's how new work is.
I was talking about that a few months ago on this podcast
that you don't have to talk to anybody.
You can just like put your order in and if food comes out, it's great. Oh, they bring it food to the concourse? Yeah, I guess you just saw,
you didn't use it. Well, no, I'm just talking about like you're there at your gate and instead of
just sitting in a bunch of rows, there's all these counters with like a bunch of iPads. Yeah, you can
order food or drinks at there. Oh, I know. I'll bring it out to you with it. Huh? What were you doing
with the iPads? Well were you doing with the iPad?
Well, we didn't have time, but I just assumed people just
sat there and just surf the internet on it.
Oh, like anything that's not, you know, private,
if you're just like, dickin' around, just use that.
Like, it's just genius.
And I was just like, they,
I flew, I flew Virgin for the first time
and I didn't realize you can order food from the screen.
Oh.
If you're in like some slight, where you get free food.
So I was like, that one.
And they just, they brought it within like 40 seconds.
It's like that, uh a conveyor belt sushi place.
Have you been there yet?
I haven't even asked it now.
Yeah, bunny was telling me about it.
I am everyone's talking about it.
I wanna go.
It's like over at Airport in Lamar.
So they've got like the conveyor belt
with all the sushi that runs around
through the entire restaurant.
Or if you want, there's like a tablet there
and you can like order sushi
and it comes out on a separate conveyor belt.
Then it goes like, it just zips right to your table and stops.
But what if you get stuck at the end of the conveyor belt?
I think.
What do you mean?
Like if you're, you know, it's like basically everybody else is always gone and you just
got like order off the other the express conveyor belt.
You can still order the same stuff or order additional things.
Um, Chris, I think I sent this video to you.
I don't know if you guys saw it. Elon Musk released this like conceptual video
of a like transportation system using his tunnels
or whatever.
And it's kind of similar to what you're talking about.
Like you park your car on like this like tray, basically.
And the tray goes underground and then just like zooms
like through underground tunnels
and takes you to like some other like random place.
And it's just,
I assume it goes to a place you want
that not a random place.
Fair enough, fair enough.
I'm gonna get in the tunnel,
once you're right in the up.
I do it, I do it just for the entire whole year.
But like, yeah, yeah, it's like,
we're gonna wanna visit today, I don't know.
I do it, but these may as,
but yeah, Los Angeles, here I come.
Maybe.
Yeah, I mean, it's just one of those things just to be like,
you know, hey, look, I started a new company
that makes tunnels like the point.
It's just cause driving on trays.
But it's, no, no, but it's efficient.
Like it's an automatic navigational system like.
Like there's no lane changing or anything.
Like imagine if all the cars there are going
200 miles an hour or something.
And it's all coordinated.
You don't have to worry about breaking.
Yeah.
Can you imagine if you're gonna stop down there
if it will break down?
I'm like, there's a fire.
Oh, 124 miles an hour.
Dessentially the same thing as a subway except
you don't have to sit next to other people.
I just, I'm so confused by it.
I love it.
It's like a barge for your car.
You know, like you want to take your car somewhere else.
You don't want to have to drive it over the river.
So is that only what with Teslas?
I think theoretically would work with anything.
I think if you pop on it and it drops down,
but your car's too big and it's just hanging over the line.
Or it's like you don't get a solid lock
and the whole ride your car is just kind of jittery.
Like, oh my god, I'm gonna die.
Like the worst thing ever.
I feel like it just puts too much in the hands
of the driver to get right,
that it's just not gonna go right.
It's gonna be like someone with a couch on the top of the car.
Someone could be like, oh, they're having an emergency
and they like fuck it up for everyone.
Like they have to pee and then, you know,
and in the future there'll be a pee hole in your car.
Oh, that'd be nice.
I don't know why there's not already there now.
Well, because you have to theoretically have to drive.
Is it listening to the kids' driving street?
Like, if you did hook some sort of funnel to your knob hole
and then you just piss through the bottom of your car,
is that legal?
With a spray of piss on the cars behind you make it illegal.
I don't know.
I'm actually not to throw urine out into the rain.
I peed in a car before.
In a ball? Yeah.
I remember when I was a kid.
No, not as a kid.
We were on a road trip or something.
And I was like, mom, I have to pee.
And she was like, we're stuck in traffic.
There's like, we're not going anywhere.
And I'm like, I have to pee.
And she was like, hands me a bottle.
And I'm like, all right.
How do you get it in like, you know,
without spraying everywhere?
I don't know, I figured it out.
What's the baby?
Did you just thumb the whole penis in the hole?
I didn't do that, I just put the head on the tip
of the bottle and just like held it.
What kind of bottle was it?
Might have been a gatorade bottle, I feel like.
Oh, so you got a big hole.
Yeah, there's a big hole and I didn't like stick it all in.
Would you be afraid though, if you stuck it all in
and then I don't know, whatever reason you started to get horny.
I was like, I was born, you know, like.
I don't know guys, my dick's near a hole.
No, I don't know what if,
no, somebody says something, you see something,
I don't know, like, you know,
one fast, you get into reaction.
How fast?
TIT,
Brandon Tits.
How fast do you go from flaccid to fully erect, Brandon?
Well, at this age, you're not very fast, but if I was like 13, when you're that age,
you just, it's like non-stop.
Yeah, I mean, well, one, this is before, I didn't even know what an
interaction really meant. To me, it was just something that my penis did that was weird
every once in a while.
But when you were like full,
yeah, when I was like a kid,
I didn't know what it was.
It was just like my, every once in a while,
my penis is this weird thing where you get big and hard.
I don't know why.
I was like, man, I have a huge penis.
No, it wasn't even that.
It was just like, it was, you know, it was a thing that happened.
I genuinely didn't know what it was.
You're getting erections at four? I don't know.
No kids again.
Yeah.
I didn't happen.
It wasn't like it was like horny all the time, like Brandon,
apparently, checking off into a gatoring bottle.
Well, I, it's getting aroused by gatoring bottles.
It's a difference, Chris.
It's crazy now, because you can go to Wikipedia
and just like search a calculation.
And there's literally a gif of a penis ejaculating.
You see?
When we were growing up like, yeah,
growing up like, you didn't know anything.
You just kinda had to like, I don't know,
learn casually or through the right fine
or with movies or stuff.
Like I remember somebody said,
I remember being in school and some kid bragged
about getting a blow job.
I remember being like, oh, that's awesome.
But thinking, what is that?
And it's like, I, to this day, I don't know how I learned about it.
I'm like, did I say something totally different?
To this day, I don't know what a blowjob.
Wikipedia, I'm gonna teach me.
I feel like I was always slightly misled
by the size of sperm when I was learning about them.
They always thought they were bigger, like, yeah.
Like, you could see one.
They're like, oh, look at that.
Like a sea monkey.
Or like a temple, that's what I would think. Yeah, like a bunch of tiny poles. look at that like a sea monkey or like a Tadpole is what I would think yeah, I'll punch a tiny pulse that beat how crazy would it be
You finish tapping sec when you're coming
Tad pulls are shoot out of your day
Like the size of actual tadpoles are like oh
You'd feel the bulge as they can. I know, I would be like, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Yeah, but I mean in that case you just like sploogen and aquarium and then just start swimming everywhere trying to grow baby
Really got to do an adory at some point
Have you seen
This video I might have brought them on podcasts before
Of what it looks like when sperm go through like a woman's body like through the uterus and like
It's just like a minefield.
It reminds me of everything I've read about World War One,
but like a miracle or any of them make it.
Yeah. That's why you have to produce so many.
Yeah. Like, the body just tries to kill him.
Yeah. Do you remember the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
arcade game, the one that was impossible?
Remember in the water level with all those like
tentacles that kill you?
They even have those.
It's just like, any like just grabs your tail and just like,
you know, just cause they want to strong.
It's like, it's like the best one, the strong survive.
You know, it's like they got to make it through the gauntlet.
How did we get through?
My, I've said for a while, it's like, you go and celebrate your,
your birthday, right?
When you were born, but like you didn't do anything when you were born.
It's like, what you should be celebrating is nine months from your birthday when you made it.
When you made the impossible mission.
Yeah, when you passed the gauntlet.
Yeah, everything else is just congratulations for not dying yet.
Yeah, it's crazy.
I think I read that essentially to be alive, like you've won the lottery already.
Like all odds considered.
Yeah, you're right.
And you're right.
Like it's not a day, it's not an event
that we celebrate at all.
Just because mainly we don't want to think
about our parents' fucking.
Yeah, so how many people have lived?
I think most people who lived our life right now,
like I think it's a relatively small number.
But it's more than the common population.
Yes, of course.
No, but like it's like, it's a huge, you know,
it's like the number of people in the history
and the past was like tiny, can't put it in there.
I wonder if you could figure out how much giz has gizzed
or how many little sperms, because you come from a hefty pool
of, you know, one time where all of you went in, and then you got to think
how many times has that?
How many times have you, how many sperm have been made?
Is it asking how many in all history?
Us sperm have ever been made.
Well, it's not easy because like,
it hasn't really been a gradual, like,
constant increase in population.
Like, there have been certain things that have happened
that created exponential growth in population
like farming.
When we learned how to farm,
they even still though,
you're right, Gus,
because you think about the lottery,
even just in one load,
there's millions of sperm, right?
But then how many loads are there in your,
like, that actually get into a vagina?
You know?
Like, most loads don't,
they most just go into like some, you know, tissue.
Well, it's like that, you know?
It was like a bill that somebody proposed
in the Texas legislature.
I think he tweeted about it, right?
Like, opposing a fine every time a guy jerks off
and it's not inside a woman.
Yeah, yeah.
Because you're not allowing the spur.
It was a, you know, we're gonna get to that area.
It's so fine.
Okay, just look up how many spums have existed.
And then we'll get right out.
So we're doing a little bit of math here, right?
So, what was, so according to the BBC article,
I just read that there's no way to know how many humans have existed over all time, but the estimate is somewhere.
The round 15 billion.
Okay, only 15 billion.
15 billion. Well, I would get 60.
The population goes.
Yeah, that's what I guess more than 15 billion.
So.
And here's here's a little graph actually to highlight what what Gavin was just saying about how Population is this from 1500 to today. Yeah, so if there's 15 billion 15
billion
times so it's
Every load is between two to five milliliters. So what do you want to estimate that at how many three?
How many oh how do you want to go by no you want to go by I thought you want to go by volume?
No, how you want to go by no you want to go by I thought you want to go by volume No, how many sperm? Oh the the tough thing though is you also have to factor in the expected life
Life expectancy to
Over time because the longer someone's alive the more where's going to go with the number of people and then yeah
Yeah, so you got a half that number so in each each milliliter each milliliter
There's a hundred million so if we do three milliliters, that's three hundred million per
Parload load. Yeah, so we'll assume one load per person
15 billion times three hundred million. Well, no, because women don't have sperm. Oh good, but they were all conceived
Wait
sperm had to have created the woman.
From a dick.
Which only half those people have.
Right, but her father had a dick.
Right.
So every human had a giz that made them.
It's what I'm getting at.
So you have to multiply it by the whole number.
Okay, so we're just talking about the people making giz.
Yes, the people making giz.
Okay, and then we'll take that.
The number is already too big for my calculator here.
Hahaha.
Wouldn't it be easier to think about
to estimate how many men have lived?
I hope so.
And then we'll just go for the air like.
We'll break this down for us.
So well.
It's going to be like RT podcast.
To the power of 70.
It even Google calculator.
4.5, the power of 18.
Yeah. So four, and that's, the power of 18. Yeah.
So four.
And that's just the offspring producing jizzes.
Correct.
A whole time.
Yes.
And wait, so then just find out the average life
and do one jizz per day on average.
Yeah.
I'm not doing this math anymore.
No, I'm not doing that.
Because that's what I want to know.
And say someone has two kids on average, two or three kids, right?
Yeah.
And that's split between two people, right?
So, like, yeah.
That's a lot of sperm per person that get wasted.
Well, how much sperm do you feel like
you've wasted in your life?
Billions.
Well, if every light is 300 million, you jerk off four times and you're already wasted
billions.
On average, how often do you jerk off a week?
For Brendan, everyone on Twitter is bitching about your hoodie string.
It's like going into your neck.
Oh, okay.
Feeding tube.
Thank God.
Have you wasted a quadrillion sperm?
I'm sure.
So let's say how you're maybe like...
You've been doing it for what maybe like 18 years?
Since I was a little 10 or 11.
So we'll say 19 years?
10.
10 or 11.
What do you do at 10?
What do you even know what to do with it?
I have read in a book.
So on average...
What did you read?
You went to the library.
Some book.
What book? It was actually in Struggles. It was like a... No, it wasn't to the library. Some book. What book?
It was actually in Strux, like,
I was like, no, it wasn't like a how-to book.
Like how to jerk off.
Was it no, it was like a,
what did you call those books that,
in Cyclopedia?
In Cyclopedia.
It was in Encyclopedia and I was looking up sex and stuff
and as one does one, they're like 10 or 11
and then I read about masturbation.
I'm like, I think I could do that.
I'm gonna give that a shot.
So I had, it was not, I just like took out my penis
and I just started like rubbing it until something happened.
Did anything happen at 10?
It was like, it was, yeah, it was, it was a blank, but.
It was a, you know, Chris speaking of books.
I want to say thanks to Audible for supporting this episode But it was a, you know, Chris speaking of books.
I want to say thanks to Audible for supporting this episode
of the RESTEE podcast.
Audible has an unmatched selection of audio books,
original shows, news, comedy, and more.
Audio books are great to listen to when you're driving
at the gym or shopping.
And I talk about it all the time.
I always listen to Audible when I'm in my car driving,
even two and four more, distance, it's great.
Listen to a book. For our audience, Audible's offering a free my car driving even to and from work distance. It's great. Listen to a book.
For our audience, Audible is offering a free audiobook with a 30-day free trial.
If you want to listen to it, Audible has it.
It's go to audible.com slash RT, browse their unmatched selection of audio content, download
a title free, and start listening.
It's that easy.
Mariel was suggesting a book to me earlier today.
I'm going to plug in a butcher.
She said I should listen to.
She said this book was about a crotchety old man,
so I'd probably like it, thanks, Maryl.
It's a man called Uva by Friedrich Beckman.
So get a free audiobook, you can listen
to what Maryl thinks about me apparently.
Get a free audiobook of the 30 free trial
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Thanks, Audible for sponsoring this episode,
other Ristete podcast.
I had a really embarrassing moment where,
I think it was on Saturday, I went to the bathroom,
and I dropped my pants, and I realized,
I had my underwear on backwards.
Oh, I saw you tweet about that.
I had my underwear backwards on all morning long.
And I remember when I got out of the shower,
I put my underwear on, and it was a new pair of underwear.
I never warned them before.
I put the underwear on, I was like,
oh, these underwear feel kind of weird like it feels super comfortable
But didn't even give it a second thought like three or four hours later. I'm like oh well that is you get dressed in the dock
No
No idea what I did it are you unbox your briefs? Yeah, I've done it before I put my pants on backwards before yeah
Pants how does that work? I see me realize it when you go to like button. Yeah,
yeah, I think it's also some of it's like if it's like pajama pants like they're pretty like. Oh,
that doesn't, that's not real. But if you put those on backwards with your, if you've taken them off
with your underwear and then you put them back on and you put them on backwards then you feel it.
It's weird. Do you ever have those like pajamas or whatever that opened up in the bottom?
Do you ever have those like pajamas or whatever that opened up in the bottom?
We can head a little flat the butt
No, all right in the butt. Yeah, so poo. Yeah, I just don't get I think I mean, it's really cold
You just go ahead. I think that goes back to more like the outhouse days. Yeah, that's exactly what that is
So Patrick did did you do this math Patrick or someone else do this?
Patrick did you do this math Patrick or someone else do this? Patrick did the math
Jacking off once a day for 19 years would raise 12 trillion
707 billion 200 million sperm
So there's your answer and that's a low estimate because it's that's only once a day
Oh, who master meets once a day. That's a lot of I do it
Sometimes a lot more and once well. Yeah,, but like on average though, at least once.
Really?
Chris likes to.
So you know, like if you have nothing to do
on like a random like weekend, just you, just bored,
you just do it at a boredom.
Yeah.
I was busy, you are the less you do it.
Exactly, exactly.
But like, it's generally like a-
It's not very busy.
I'm busy enough. This doesn't sound like a Chris. No, no, no, no, it's generally like a very busy. I'm busy enough.
Doesn't sound like a Chris.
No, no, no, no.
It's also like a, it's like a,
into the day, stress relief,
going to sleep kind of thing.
Are you at all curious what your sperm count is?
No.
Well, apparently it's how many?
Well, no, I mean, like everyone is different.
Like you could have an abnormally low sperm count.
I don't know, it hasn't been an issue yet.
How much it is to get one of those two.
We should have an RT life where it's a contest
to see who's the most fertile.
It would get so real that when someone's like,
we should combine that with the pedophilic.
To catch a predator.
I read a story in the States of the morning
about a state employee who was busted for having pedophilia on his computer at work.
And the way they caught him was he copied his child porn to a shared network drive.
Oh my god. What? And he was like, he claimed that he was trying to delete it. So he must have
copied it there by accident. Was it like cloud base? I don't know. They don't give all of those details.
So you must have copied it there by accident. Was it like cloud base?
I don't know, they don't give all of those details.
But I'm glad they caught it.
I was like, what the fuck?
Oh, he's excuse.
Oh, sorry, I was just trying to leave it.
I was trying to delete it.
I was doing it, I was trying to help.
I was trying to get it off the internet.
You just went through like spring cleaning on his desktop,
trying to move stuff around.
So fucked up.
God, some people. Yeah around. So fucked up. God.
Some people.
Yeah, it's fucking terrible.
I don't know where I'm going to work out there.
So, did you see?
We covered Spam.
What?
We covered Spam.
Yeah, we covered Spam.
We're done.
That's done.
Did you see, so they had the season finale of SNL this past weekend.
And there are a lot of people leaving.
It turns out it was Bobby Moynihan, Vanessa Bayer,
and so she was a Mehta, who was also leaving.
I didn't hear about her.
She didn't, I don't think she announced
till after the episode was done.
Yeah, and she wasn't even on the farewell sketch either.
Yeah, maybe I don't know what happened.
I don't know if she decided not to come back
or what's going on.
Well, I think as I understand it, everybody has seven-year contracts unless they fire you.
That's why Vanessa bears leaving at seven years.
And you see that a lot, a lot of people who leave SNL.
It's after that seven-year mark.
Why do they want to sign a seven-year contract?
You want to be on SNL?
It's leverage.
You know, so they don't want you to sign up and then get famous and leave.
I'm sorry, Gus.
To Eddie Murphy.
Yeah, to Eddie Murphy.
No, no, I was just going to talk about that.
And about the weirdo musical performance that Katy Perry put on.
Oh, in the bathtub or something?
No, well, on one of them, she was like at a dinner party.
Did you see the backpack kid?
Which backpack kid?
Like, one of them was like a weirdo fashion show
and this kid came out like he was strutting down
a runway wearing a backpack.
They started doing this weird dance with his hands
where he was like putting one in front of him
and one behind him.
You didn't see this?
Now I fast forwarded through.
I'm not buying what Katy Perry's doing right now.
I wasn't, I get what she's going for.
I'm just like, nah, I'm not, I'm not buying it.
What do you mean you don't buy it?
You know, she's trying to do a whole new image,
whole new appeal, but it's a little weird and...
Oh, here it is.
Is that gonna play?
Nope, that's a static image.
Oh, that's super, super weird.
It's just like, it's a super weird avant-garde kind of thing.
Yeah.
And her, it didn't help that her suit look like Beetlejuice. I was
What's it like why she just like Beetlejuice? Well, even like the
Miley Cyrus I forget who she performed with at the MTV Awards the one that was like super. Oh, it was a
Robin Thick right? Yeah, so it's like she already looks is the same look as what she was doing and then you know
That doesn't help but it just feels, it just feels too fake and manufactured.
I'm sorry, Katie, maybe it's all authentic.
I don't think she's listening.
I'm not buying it.
Well, I'm not trying to hit it.
It's like, it's not for you to buy.
She's just what she's doing.
I know.
I mean, I'm not saying she's obligated to have me approve.
I'm just saying, I don't know how is it different
to what she did before.
I mean, she's just, it just seems like a huge meeting with her PR team.
All right, we're gonna try something completely different.
It just doesn't feel like authentic and real.
Miley Cyrus did a 180, but she was pretty young.
So I'm like, yeah, okay, I buy it,
but reinventing, Katy Perry,
reinventing herself in this way at this stage in her career.
I'm just, to me, it feels a little manufactured.
I think she's just worried about full enough.
Like Gaga's not as popular as she was.
I think everyone worries about falling off right?
I think once you get popular, once you become famous, like,
I don't ever want to be less famous.
Yeah.
How do you ride the rave?
How do you get convinced the word wave?
You see, right the rave?
I meant to say wave.
Yeah, like it just makes you think about that time.
I saw Virgil at San Diego Comic Con and the guy looks at him and goes, I remember you used to be famous.
Like nobody wants to have that conversation.
Virgil, Virgil, the wrestler, the old WWFR.
Or he was the million dollar man sidekick.
Oh, yeah.
I think he became Vincent and WCW, the, yeah, he's talking about.
Yeah.
So no one ever wants to, to do that or here's talking about. Yeah, so no one ever wants to do that
or here have that conversation.
Yeah, it's rough for those.
So you gotta reinvent yourself
and you gotta do new stuff.
I agree, I agree.
This to me though, it just feels,
I'm not saying people can't reinvent itself.
This to me just feels super forced.
And I, I don't know, it's just hard to buy
that this is really like her natural thing.
And I get it, that's part of the industry. get it. The other thing was her natural thing, though.
I'm sure it was many factors.
It's insane.
All of our live shows, but some of the biggest live performances, all this crazy crap.
Yeah, well, she did the Super Bowl.
She had that thing where she was like floating on that wire above everybody.
She had the shark.
The shot.
Left shark.
What was I saying? See it? Cape
Harry? Yeah, the Super Bowl like two years ago. Oh, you remember left
shark. That's the only I remember about that Super Bowl. So what are
you going to do to reinvent yourself? Uh, drink more.
Fair enough. Yeah, no, I don't know. I'm not terribly concerned with
reinventing. I'm happy. I'm not terribly concerned with reinventing.
I'm happy where I am.
Well, that's important. Yeah, perfect.
You should ride that rave as long as you can.
So, I think SNL, it was like their highest rated season
in like 23 or 25 years.
Yeah, that's Kenan still on it?
Yeah, Kenan still on it.
That's the longest running cast member ever. Did he
pass like Darryl Hammond? Like Darryl Hammond? Oh, maybe it's Darryl Hammond. I'm looking for a left
shark for for dad for Brandon. Yeah, I mean, it's just so much material. I mean, really like,
I don't see this. I don't know if we can play it. I assume I got us taken down. But it's like,
they have this court court choreographed thing,
and I think this one doesn't remember
what he's supposed to be doing.
We can see it over there.
And he starts kind of fucking around.
Yeah, no, see this I buy, this I like.
It's the whole like,
the shape head, like on air, like that to me.
That's just like, you just don't like that.
You have to look at what's not just the hair type.
That's not necessarily her either.
That's also just a manufactured image. I know.'t like that. You have to look up what's not just the hair tie. That's not necessarily her either. That's also just a manufactured image.
I know.
I know.
I understand that.
It's not the fact that people can't have manufactured images.
You said your big contention was that it didn't feel authentic.
Yeah, it didn't.
Like you can still have a manufactured change that still feels authentic.
This to me, like what you do right now feels like too off the wall, too random, not buying
it. I mean, like, I'm sure like all of the huge image changes are she you know forced and like you know manufactured
But like a lot of them were more like believable and like I get it and I'll look past it
What I don't know what I saw in us and now I'm just like
I don't know. I'm not doing this. Gus. What's the most fake thing you've ever done?
Faking I've ever done. Yeah, where you're like, I don't, I'm.
In the early days of Red versus Blue,
I don't think you can find these videos anymore.
Whenever we had to do like a paid corporate thing,
Bernie always gave me like the shilliest,
ad copious lines ever.
That I had to deliver like, it was me or like Simmons and I fucking hated it.
It was always that stuff where I get a script.
Everyone has normal dialogue and then it's me for 10 minutes talking about.
Yeah.
Some bullshit corporate thing.
Oh my god.
I don't know why do I have to do this.
I think it's because you get through dialogue very quickly.
No, it was punishment is what what it was.
It's because I was the what? Because that's when I lived in Puerto Rico. Oh, so he would he would say it'd
be like, list it off like people's new 401k. Oh, yeah. Like, God damn, I gotta read all
the stupid shit. Like huge block paragraphs of text. Did he ever try to lure you in with
a promise of being on a cover? Simmons being on a DVD cover? No, no, I mean, well, I mean,
that was so early,
all we had done by that point was like the season one DVD
and there was no one on that cover.
Oh, okay.
And then season two, which came a year later was Doc,
but even the first cover, like the original cover
for season two, black with like the cock bite logo or something.
No, no, no, that was season one.
The season two cover, it was very faint.
Like you really had to struggle to see that dock was on it.
That was like a reprint that made him ride.
We wanted it to be very subtle
where you really couldn't see
that there was a character on there.
So in the early days, we never really wanted
any one character to be on the cover
or a focus, obviously that stuff changed.
Guess which version of season two I have.
You have the original one?
I know you do.
I personally packed yours.
And you signed it too?
I remember it.
I put yours in the envelope and I feel like that
fucking little custom's declaration.
You know, remember that little green and white tag
that had to be on the fucking pool?
Well, I remember because they wouldn't deliver
to my house until I went to the post office
and paid the VAT on it.
So each one cost me more when it arrived.
That sucks.
There's nothing we can do about that.
I know people complain about that still.
Sometimes when we like ship merchandise overseas,
it's like, that's just, each country's different each country. Yeah, there's sometimes they'll take money for it
That's why I used to I had I used to order in bulk just so I could pay all the
Important one go not have to keep going to the post office. Yeah sucks
Yeah, we learned a lot about international shipping
Back then I don't think I'd ever had to deal with any of that before
No, why would you?
Yeah, why would I never fucking send anything to the UK?
God, we used to have to go.
You know, I did it with this little green and white
international customs form.
So we'd have to have fixed every fucking envelope.
And the post office never had very many of them
and they would get mad when you take them all.
And we needed like hundreds, we need thousands of them.
We could have printed them? No. There's needed like hundreds, we need thousands of them. We get them print them?
No.
There's like a specific form,
because they're adhesive.
They have just bike glue.
You had to use theirs.
It's the way it worked at the time.
I think now you can do it a different way,
but at the time you have to go,
and I'd have to like try to take all of them
that the post office had,
without the post employees noticing
that I was taking all of them.
Just replace them like end-eats,
really, with something else.
But they would get mad if you took them all side up to like slow, it was like I was stealing, but them. Just replace them like, indeed, it's really something I was. But they were getting mad if you took them all side
after like, it was like I was stealing,
but I wasn't, because it's free,
and I was actually using them to mail for like,
free stuff at some point,
it becomes stealing if you're getting too many.
But I'm using it.
It's not like I was taking it
and using it for something else.
Like I was using it for its intended purpose.
But if it puts the company in a position of,
it's not a company, it's a post office.
Yeah, he's right.
It's like, what if I'm like, he has to use them.
Right.
It is their rule, it is required me to use them.
But they're not wanting me to take them.
What if I went into HEB and took all the bags?
With the bags cost.
Ah, they do now that.
Yeah, everywhere.
Yep.
And it would be like, it'd be like,
going to the grocery store and buying all the groceries
where it's like, well, we don't have any more apples,
like, but I gotta sell't have any more apples,
but I gotta make a lot of pie.
You know?
But you're using the apples,
but they get mad at you,
you can't buy that many apples.
Like, why?
There's no groceries store that would stop you
from buying any of these things.
I bet it would happen.
If you walked in and started unloading
like every crate of apples into your cart,
I'm sure someone would come by like,
yo, you can't do that.
You can't buy that many apples.
You need to go wholesale.
Right.
That's what I'll tell you.
Do you think we could do a video where we like
a sign budget to the video, but we use the budget
just to buy the entire shop.
Like go into a very small like family run store
and buy everything.
Buy everything. And like completely empty all the shelves. Like go to a flag small, like, family run store. And buy everything. Buy everything.
And like, completely empty all the shelves.
Like, go to a flag store and invite to them.
And then just give them back to them.
What if you bought everything,
then open up a store on the sidewalk
in front of their store,
selling all of the shit for double the price?
We'll just one cent more.
Right.
So when I was going to a flag store
and buy like, all, love like, really random countries.
When's the last time you went to the flag store? buy all love, like really random countries.
When's the last time you went to the flag store?
Flag store is a convenience store, not too far from the studio.
When's the last time you went to the flag store?
No, I don't know.
We've had people go for productions and stuff,
but I haven't been there.
They changed it.
What are they selling?
It's a convenience store, but they've got all kinds of stuff.
It's probably the most well stock convenience store
we've ever been to.
Like, whatever you need, they've got it.
You come Bucky's as a convenience store? B ever been to. Like whatever you need, they've got it. You have, do you count buckies as a convenience store?
Oh, buckies is, buckies is a lot bigger.
Buckies is almost like super market size.
Oh, this is like for the space tradition.
Yeah, convenience store.
I wonder if they've British chocolate.
They might have British crisps.
Ooh, I like, Chris.
I like, Chris.
Yes, they do.
Wow, I'm gonna go there.
But they've changed it.
They're in the process of reorganizing,
like the wine section's got a little bigger,
and the British crisp section has gotten a little smaller.
Damn it, I miss my window.
So I don't know if your window's gone now,
but yeah, I think they changed ownership
a couple of months ago, and it's like,
it's weird walking in there now,
things are a little out of sync.
It is fun buying all of something.
I had to do that with the,
because I recently did that video with Dan
jumping on all his mouse traps.
And I was trying to buy them in bulk
to make it as cheap as possible.
But then you had to go directly from that company.
It was like, Victor mouse traps, something.
Does anyone else make a mouse?
Hey, go ahead.
Yeah, I don't know.
You don't know anyone I could find.
So the bulk, the biggest bulk box was 72 mouse traps.
And I was like, okay, add to cart,
and it was like, you can only buy three.
That was the only thing that happened. Damn it. So I would buy three. I was like, okay, I had to cut and it was like, you can only buy three. That was the only thing that happened. I'm it. So I would buy three. I'd have them
delivered. I'd wait a couple of months and I'd buy three. Oh my God. To make that video,
it took me like 18 months to buy all the mouse traps because I would forget and I'd be
like, oh, I'd still need more mouse traps. They're really crafty too. You can't just
make another Amazon account and buy it that way. Like they look at your, they look at your financial
information and stuff.
Whole stock.
I was just emptying that their own bulk stock.
And now I don't need them.
How many, how many mice do you think lived?
Because they're like, we're all out of mouth.
You've been buying their whole stock for so long.
Prices have gone up.
You can now open your own Amazon shop.
We sold them for a profit.
Dude, some of them I've had for a really long time,
and they've totally rusted.
Ugh.
That was actually one mouse trap on the trampoline
that didn't go off.
Look, it was so rusty.
Oh, okay.
Just didn't snap.
Weird.
1 out of 1000 isn't bad, then.
Yeah, that's good.
Over 18 months.
I guess you don't normally put a mouse trap out for 18 months.
You don't put a mouse trap out for a couple days and it either works or.
Maybe it is helping the mice, because those are the really old,
sort of, metal snap non-humane traps.
So maybe they just, I guess they can't make it up, because I can't buy it.
What's a humane way to...
Well, there's a trap em and then they just slowly starve to death.
That's what you mean.
What's a humane way to die?
It's like a poison.
Yeah, and they slowly die.
Because sometimes that sounds terrible too.
No, it's gotta be insequil.
And also if you poison it, then what if a cat or another animal
comes and eats that mouse?
But the thing is with the snap down ones,
is that it can like partially catch them and they end up just like painfully dying.
Marguerment is there is no humane way, I think. I think the machine to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. This lady had a pet rat and it accidentally ate her heroin.
And she went to, of course she has a pet rat.
She went to some animal control,
I guess I don't know like a vet and had to get it treated.
But at that point, do you open yourself up to,
wait, wait, wait, wait, how did a rat eat a heroin and live?
Uh, the dose.
How? Let me see. So just a rat just off his tail. Wait, put on. Can you take heroin orally?
I don't know.
If you eat heroin, does it work?
It can't be great.
I mean, it can fuck you up.
We're killing you.
We say that maybe it's less effective.
Yeah, it may not be like, yeah, because it's normally what you inject it, right?
Let's see, on Sunday Sunday the rat named snuggles
It's a heroin that was left out on a table by a woman in Vancouver the woman
Brought a very sick snuggles to an overdose prevention site in hopes of keeping the animal alive
Assuming that's for humans a drug place. Yeah, not the vet
Yeah, I don't think so. Let's see.
Yeah, I don't know.
I guess they were able to figure it out and save it.
But I mean, what point did that lying on its side
off its ass?
You see, I can send this to broadcast.
On the last time I was on the podcast,
I talked a lot about getting a pet pig.
Oh yeah.
I found there's a breeder in Texas.
I called this weekend.
Oh god.
And I had a long conversation with them.
They said I shouldn't get a pig.
Because of the high maintenance.
Well, they said I needed a house for the yard.
So you just have an apartment?
Yeah.
You could buy some grass from California.
No, it works.
I could start siding up.
I could start out my place.
You know, the guy, the company was on that Mark Cuban show,
they invested in it.
I just, I just,
do you mean Shark Tank?
I wouldn't call it the Mark Cuban show.
I couldn't remember the name,
but I said Mark Cuban show and you immediately knew
what I was talking about.
It's only the news on.
Yeah.
So it was a good way to classify a show that you can't remember.
Oh, there we go.
Oh, this snuggles the...
Did he live?
Yeah.
He's maxed up right?
The rap survives heroine overdose.
So I guess so.
Well, a cute little rap.
What do you get, rats thinking?
I shouldn't have eaten the whole thing.
Yeah.
I gotta pace myself next time.
Let me read this in here.
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Blue apron, a better way to cook. Was we that one again? Asparagus and summer squash curry with ginger
lime peanuts. That sounds really good. I might make that tomorrow. Can you make some for me?
No.
Why don't we do a lovely video where I come over
and you cook us blue apron?
I thought about filming like a time lapse of myself,
making like a blue apron, like next time
we'll do an ad read, like just setting up
a couple of go pros in my kitchen
and just doing like a time lapse of whatever,
like the 20, 30 minutes it takes to cook it all.
And then all of a sudden, you didn't do that.
I might do it still. Are you gonna have a house, you didn't do that. How am I doing still?
Are you gonna have a housewarming party at your house?
Considering I've been living there three years,
I think that ship may have passed.
Just thought I'd show you.
But you moved three years ago.
Yeah.
Wow.
Time flies.
It was July, 2014.
I moved like the week before RTX.
Smart.
It was not smart, it was terrible.
It's one of the worst ideas,
the worst things I've ever done in my life.
And you were still doing ATX?
Yeah, and that was before Bethany, BB.
BB?
Before Bethany.
Oh, all right.
That makes sense.
It's like one of the many people in your career that you've hired to replace.
To replace myself.
To replace myself.
Yeah, oh God, it's been great.
So last year I was still a little, very little involved in RTX.
It was like almost nothing, but this year, like I really haven't done anything.
It's all, it's been all Bethany.
Like all the list play live stuff too.
Like I did the first one in Austin.
I helped quite a bit with the one in LA, and then after that, I don't,
I've been, I've been hands off with that stuff.
They're like JJ Abrams.
Yeah, I create a framework that someone else can step in.
And walk away as it crumbles behind you.
They announced another Cloverfield movie speaking of JJ Abrams.
So they said that God particle, supposed to come out later this year, it's supposed to
be the third Cloverfield movie and that JJ Abrams started to work on the fourth Cloverfield
movie, which is going to be a supernatural World War II movie.
That sounds amazing.
About where like a squad of American soldiers before D-Day
gets dropped in for the Normandy landing
and then like encounter like supernatural forces.
That's awesome.
I mean, it goes paratroopers.
It's like a common language.
It's paratroopers.
Yeah, I think that actually happens.
Or that actually happens.
That'd be cool to...
You gonna want to set a new Nolan movie?
Done Kirk? Yeah, I really want to see that. I heard that'd be cool to- You gonna want to set a new Nolan movie? Dunkirk?
Yeah, I really wanna see that.
I heard that there's a large portion of it
that's 70 millimeter.
Like, 75% of it.
I think it maxed up.
It's 70 millimeter.
I haven't avoided looking at any trail.
I'm just gonna go see it.
Don't you trailers, man?
I wonder if Tom Haudi will be in it.
It was a joke.
The bully?
Well, he's in the, what the, that movie's in there. Oh, I guess. It was really? Well, he's in all of the damn movies, isn't it?
Well, I guess you're right.
Overlord is the name of the new movie,
the fourth chlorophyll movie.
Oh, cool, cool, cool.
I think they just announced that this past week.
I don't know, let me see.
I'm trying to find the synopsis.
I explain.
On the eve of D-Day, a group of American paratroopers
have dropped behind enemy lines to carry out a mission, crucial to the invasion success, but as they approach
your target, they begin to realize there's more going on in this Nazi occupied village
than a simple military operation.
What a lazy description.
That was somebody who was tasked with writing the description.
I was just like, I don't want to do this.
They may not know either.
It's true.
Like it may be like just trying to get as much information out as you can without actually
knowing everything.
You played any prey?
I stopped.
I played about seven hours worth and I stopped.
You're still playing what?
Pray.
What's pray?
It's a space game.
Yeah, it's like science fiction space game.
That sounds awesome.
They have, it was really interesting at first I thought.
And they've got a great spacewalk mechanic in that game.
Anytime you go to space it's really cool. Like you can be, it's all about your velocity, right? It was really interesting at first I thought and they've got a great space walk mechanic in that game anytime
You go to space. It's really cool like you can be it's all about your velocity, right?
Like you can be moving in one direction looking in the other and like still accelerating that way and you have to worry about your rotation
It like it really takes into account all three dimensions
I think that was probably my favorite part of the game that I played
I'm playing a side by side with Dan and
It's really interesting how two people
can play the same games so differently.
He's making like all kinds of different decisions,
going to different places first,
putting his neuromods in different slots.
It's like, it's really interesting.
He's playing it like a different game.
He's going like all typhoon.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, I didn't do that.
I went,
because I didn't want the turrets attacking me.
Yeah.
He avoids turrets that the plague is to hack them to make them not shoot.
Yeah, I rely on the turrets so much because I'm always sneaking around and I use the turrets to cover me.
I make sure nothing's sneaking up on me.
I'm all like, turrets, I'm beefing up my dude so I can jump really high, run really fast, throw stuff really far.
And he's just resurrecting humans, his phantoms and stuff and doing stuff that I can't even do.
So he's a bad guy.
Yeah.
I mean, he's also playing on Xbox
and I made that comparison video where.
They looked, so I played on Xbox
and mine did not look like that at all.
He rebooted it and it was a lot better.
Okay.
I guess it was like some sort of memory
that you can Xbox or,
he's got a shit hard drive, I don't know.
Yeah, mine was fine.
Well, I mean, of course there are some,
it's not as good as a PC,
but it did not look anything like dance.
Yeah, he only had trouble in that one room
because it's such a big open room.
So weird.
Yeah, it was funny.
He was getting really annoyed.
I had to scare everything happen a few weeks ago.
So I'm like really petrified of heights.
And I feel it's weird when people say
you're scared of heights.
It's more like I'm scared of dying from,
like from the high up, and I was in Galveston
and I went to this like little mini theme park.
And they have this like pretty,
what the fuck are you talking about?
My phone is just like, transmitting everything.
Oh my God, everything is fine.
I was here, they having a few weeks ago.
I sell Mike really petrified of heights,
and I feel if we will sams your scared of heights
It's more like I'm scared of dying from fucking like really high up and I was in Galveston and I went to this like a little minitheem park here
How about a web search for it? Yes
Yes
Oh fucking Amazon
Nook whatever it is i found this on the web i was here they have a few weeks
you can't really pet your fives and i feel like some of your scud of heights
it's all like i'm scared of dying from fucking like really high up
and i was in gavistan and i went to this like a little minitheem park here
no results huh?
with
okay you're out of theme park
yeah so um
it's a really slow day there There's not that many people there.
So I guess the people operating it were really bored.
And you know, those few things that don't mind.
I don't know if you guys remember a few months ago,
somebody this kid like died at a Schlitterbond in Kansas City.
Oh, right, right.
You know, and like why?
He, I don't know.
He sailed off the track and got to capitated.
Really?
A slitter one?
Yeah.
Holy shit.
Not the one in your broth.
Wait, what?
Not the one in your broth.
What took you head off?
I think a net or something.
It was a way to keep your ship in.
It was a way to keep your ship in.
It was a way to keep your ship in.
It was a way to keep your ship in.
It was a way to keep your ship in.
It was a way to keep your ship in.
It was a way to keep your ship in.
It was a way to keep your ship in.
It was a way to keep your ship in.
It was a way to keep your ship in.
It was a way to keep your ship in.
It was a way to keep your ship in. It was a way to keep your ship in. It was a way to keep your ship in. It was a way to keep your ship in. It was a very small kid and there were two very large people he was writing with
and he was at the very front.
So the thing just, you know, it's my crazy.
So I guess the guy was like really bored
and there weren't that many people there.
So we got in the very front of this pretty crazy roller coaster
and right before he sets it off, he turns to me and he says,
hey, you forgot your seatbelt.
And then he launches it.
And there's like 20 seconds where I'm looking down
and it's fine to find my fucking seatbelt.
And I'm like, oh my God, where is it?
And I'm like, I have to come to terms
with my existence very quickly.
Let me just hold on extra hot.
There was no seatbelt.
There was no seatbelt.
That was fine.
And then I came back and I wasn't mad. I was like, that will play it, sir. That was very seat belt. There was no seat belt. That was fine. And then I came back and I was a mad.
I was like, that will play it, sir.
That was very will played.
I would do shit like that all the time if I were to the theme park.
Yeah, I mean, the guys was pretty bored.
It was, it was probably the only highlight.
I don't know if you guys have been a Galveston, but there's not.
Yeah.
In all much, I went to Moody Gardens.
It was probably like the big waste of time.
That probably made the ride way better.
It was fun because you're way better. It was fun
Way more intense the normal roller coaster. Yeah, it was it was fun
That was probably the only I would not recommend going to get I'm sorry to people who live in Galveston the gas
I've been to Galveston in like 20 years
Do you ever go to moody gardens while you're there? I don't remember. No, what's the reason to go?
There's no we just look for the reason to go? There's that. It's historical.
For a place to go.
It's on the beach.
It could do the beach.
Beach.
It's a Texas beach.
It's like a trash beach.
They have to fly in sand from out of town
and put it on the beach.
From LA, just like there.
Mark Cuban was all about it.
When I was really young,
before I moved out to the border,
I lived in Texas City
and La Marque for a little while. And Texas City and La Marque are like small towns close to Galveston.
So when I was a little kid, you know, four, no, five, I used to go to the beach all the time.
And it wasn't until I was much older, probably like 18 or so, that I realized beaches aren't supposed
to be covered in tar. That's an unusual thing.
Cause, yeah, you just go and it's just like goops of tar.
Where was this?
Over the beach.
It was like 83, 84.
What do you mean, tar?
Like, tar, you know, like black, oily, sticky stuff.
But what's it from?
Just oil.
Sure.
I don't know.
Oil leak.
Yeah. It was just all over the beach all the time
Where was this sorry miss Aliston and Galison yeah, I tried beach I
Grout with pebble beaches a lot of the English beaches. That's that sounds there was no sand. It was just stone. Oh, there you go Yeah, that's what it looked like. Oh, they're like jellyfish. Yeah normally was covered in a lot more sand since it was a since it was sticky
But yeah, it would just be like that everywhere. Yeah, I mean, like, that's actually what I remember it looking like all the time.
Yeah, I think so weird.
Have you ever been to a volcanic beach?
No, it sounds black.
No, it's really hot.
I've been a white, I've been a white sands in New Mexico.
And if you've been there, that, that sand conversely, obviously, is really cool.
It's weird.
Uh, and it's beautiful. If you've never been there, it's really surreal. It's weird. And it's beautiful.
If you've never been there, it's really surreal
to like walk out there and just see it everywhere.
But what's your favorite kind of sunrise?
It's really bright.
We went to Tulum and instead of saying
at a place on the beach, we stayed a place on the rocks,
which is kind of nice because you're right at,
right over the water.
So it has, you know, you can hear the ocean,
it's really cool and I kind of realize,
like I just, I don't know, I'm a big sand guy,
I don't like sand, I don't wanna go to a beach.
All right, I don't wanna go to a beach.
We're lying on the beach.
That's it, all right, Anakin.
He hates the sand.
Oh, I don't remember.
It's episode one.
That's it too.
Was it a two?
Oh, probably because he's a slave on Tatooine.
We're good.
Yeah, it's rough.
It's a slave on Tatooine. Of course, I guess everywhere. Yeah. And the ocean, I don't
fuck with the ocean. I don't know why the way anybody wants to go in the ocean. We are not
meant to be in the ocean. We specifically left the ocean. Did you see that video of that
sea lion grabbing that girl? Yeah, that was awesome. I did. That was like, yeah, it's like
super intense. This little girl's like sitting on a dock,
and like she sits with her back to the water
and this sea, she's got like this loose white dress on.
And the sea lion just jumps up out of the water,
grabs her dress and then just pulls her right into the water.
Oh my God, she's okay, they got her out.
Yeah, like her grandfather jumped in the immediate.
And why did it, and she got a great story out of it.
And it's a cool video.
The, the, what I heard is there's signs everywhere
at the dock that say do not feed the sea lions.
And they were feeding the sea lions
and people speculate that it probably thought
she was a bird or a piece of food or something
and reached up and grabbed her and pulled her in.
Yeah, she was holding back on the food.
It's a good icebreaker for her.
Damn life.
Damn the other day was watching that guy
eating the dog food.
The captain was it?
Oh, the dog food.
He found it independently. I didn't tell him about it. I was like food. Look at that. Was it? Oh, the dog food? He found it independently.
I didn't tell him about it.
And I was like, I was just watching that.
Last night, he just remembered that video
and was laughing, like rolled over backwards laughing
for about five years.
The video was so stupid.
What is it?
The guy testing out different brands of dog food.
He's like trying to taste test to see
if expensive dog food tastes better than cheap dog food.
And then he's eating it himself.
And he's eating it and vomiting the whole time.
I knew it.
And then he's expensive and he's like, Vom, he's like, I knew it.
It tastes like shit too.
It's not worth the extra money.
And he's really violent vomit.
It's so gross feeling.
It's not like he's not faking it.
It's not like, oh, he was hiding.. He is he is vomiting. God vomit's funny. Oh
The girl
Does she not see or is she trying to get?
Oh my gosh, it's so fast. I know you got to appreciate dude who just jumps to save
I know I thought you know I thought he didn't even take out a cell phone
No, I phone seven waterproof
But you don't know that you know that so that's why you don't fuck with the ocean man. I you seen penguins in the water
Penguins are cute when you see him on land and you see me the water like that's terrifying. They're like little missiles
I'm not gonna risk I'm not gonna risk going in the water in the Arctic.
So who is this on Twitter?
Brackish, Midget,
tweeted us a photo of Anakin Skywalker
on who wants to be a millionaire.
Funny.
I think early today I saw this super, super weird gift.
It was like insects, I think bees mating.
Oh right, right.
And usually, you know, with insects
or a lot of other animals,
you worry that it's really rough
and, you know, not fun for everybody,
but like the male bee,
like will put his antennas out
and like caress the antennas of the female bee.
It's like, actually, it's like very...
Oh, there it is.
Look, it's, oh, wow, it's like,
play some Barry White.
Always grabbing her, it's like he's grabbing her ears.
No, I was just trying to be like,
hey, baby, it's like...
He's pulling her hair.
Yeah.
It's cool.
Yeah, it's a good model for humans.
Have you ever seen...
It's just like a reminder to be... Rub her antenna, according to random. It's a good model for humans. Have you ever seen like a reminder to be
rubber antenna according to brand it's a good model for humans. Yeah, like you know like treater. You know be
sensual be
Have you ever seen slugs Jack? No pretty gross
Can we see that in the control room pull it in like a slug dick. Let me read this before we go down that road any further.
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I did not know that.
I'm gonna check that out right now.
Meandies.com.
The underwear I was wearing that I had backwards were meandies.
Ha ha ha.
I had, they had, their design of the month
was like a pizza one.
And I had their pizza underwear on.
What, I like pizza. How does had their pizza underwear on. What?
I like pizza.
How does that work?
What do you mean?
What does it look like?
It looks like cheese and pepperoni in crust.
You can check it out.
Get the candy stuff.
Lays get the guys in the mood.
Pizza and flip that one go.
Let's control room cut that. Yeah, that's that's not going let's look down one go. Let's control room, cut that.
Yeah, that's not gonna make it in the fall version.
Did you all find slugs?
They're not looking, I hope they're not looking.
I found a video called Amazing Slug Sex.
Yeah, they sort of like into twine and stuff.
Oh yeah!
Hang on, it's beautiful.
Yeah, and that cool.
They just do it in the air instead of...
Yeah, and they're connected.
Like, they're like...
The other one just watching.
They all was like,
That's like a boy or a slut.
She gave room.
I mean, friend zone.
And they still...
They're like hanging by like goo.
Yeah, I think they hang off goo and they drip goo
and the penises come out and like rubble over each other.
That's not two penises.
Because they're non, I think they both have all of it.
Yeah, they're both male and female,
they're just kinda got it all.
Really?
I think so.
I don't know that.
I don't know who picks who.
Come at Frislux.
We need to reclassify this podcast as educational.
Exactly.
Because I just learned something.
Yeah.
I also had that explosion in Manchester, which is awful.
I did not really know about that. Did I just have it? Manchester, which is awful. I did not really just now.
Manchester Arena.
Oh, no, people have died.
Oh, what?
Be safe if you're in Manchester.
It has just popped up on BBC.
You still have, you still use the BBC for news?
Yeah.
Manchester.
Do you feel, how do you feel like BBC is on American politics?
Like cover their perspective
BBC's way because it's not it's not a like a government funded of the UK
Catch it's not really allowed to be
bias in any way, but that's good, but it's yeah, so but but even in US though like how does it?
Yeah, what's the the slant on US politics?
It be like politics. Yeah
Trump's a prick I think is
You should you should check out I think the economist is based in in the UK like they have a pretty interesting way of
Looking at and evaluating like a American politics culture
I remember they reported on the like 2004 Super Bowl halftime show where
Janet Jackson's boob came out, but it had like the tassel, but they didn't report that it happened.
They report that the American media censored it. Instead of just showing for what happened like,
you know, live, and it's not like a bare nipple, there was like a tassel on it.
It wasn't a tassel, it was like a middle.
Sure, I'm not sure what you're calling it.
Yeah, you're right, a tassel has stuff hanging on it.
It was a nip cover.
Yeah, so like they weren't so much,
this would happen.
It looked like the sun kinda,
it was like a circle,
it had like rays coming out from it.
Would you have sensitive?
No, you know, the interesting thing about that,
I don't know if I've ever told you this.
Right, that day, the Super Bowl,
I watched that Super Bowl live,
that was the first time I'd ever used my T-vo.
It was the first thing I was ever
before in my T-vo, and it happened and I was like,
was that her nipple?
Let me find out, rewind.
It was, that's what I remember.
Yeah, that's what I remember specifically what it was.
Yeah. Oh, you can actually see a nipple,
oh it's just around like the nub of the nipple.
Yes.
It's definitely not.
Nipple though.
Yeah their article was about how no like
media coverage would show that.
So it's a pretty, it's definitely like a kind of
from a far binocular.
What was the explanation of that?
Just that was a part of the bit or was an accident?
So the claimant was an accident.
She just was under there all times.
I don't know, all right.
I think he just grabbed like the entire,
instead of like grabbing the front,
which I guess was collapsible,
like the front flap, he grabbed like the entire.
The cup or something?
Yeah, on the entire cup.
And people freak the fuck out for no good reason.
Guess of a nipple.
That was on screen for like a fraction of a second.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think even that image we just looked at,
I don't think that was from the broadcast.
I think that was a still image.
Oh, because the broadcast blurred it.
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, I think there was a, in 04 it was live,
but it probably wasn't even HD.
Yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right.
Wasn't it one of the first things
the people were using YouTube for to see that clip?
I think it might have been that. Yeah.
Well, the first thing I remember really getting big on YouTube was
lazy Sunday that SNL the first digital short.
Yeah. People watch out like crazy.
Well, I think YouTube launched in 05 and that the Super Bowl thing was like January
04, I think. So I don't know.
I remember like the daily show was huge on YouTube. Super Bowl thing was like January 04, I think, so I don't know.
I remember the daily show was huge on YouTube.
Like it was basically like YouTube was Viacom,
three Viacom shows, like a comedy central stuff.
Like, so red versus blue.
The first HD Super Bowl was actually in January 2000.
Super Bowl 34, the Rams and the Titans.
Oh wow.
Who could watch it in HD?
They're probably not one.
They brought it.
Because even now it's like it's not in 4K.
You can't watch it.
No, I think they film it in 4K,
but they don't broadcast it in 4K.
I've never understood that.
Well, NFL films is actually really good
about filming stuff and archiving their footage.
So it's a future proofing.
Right, they're probably future proofing
on for future like compilations and use and
You sail down my that's smart. Is there 4k content through
TV providers like through youverse or time-owner or satellite? I know obviously it's online like with Netflix and stuff
But that's a really good question. I don't know. Yes. I don't know the technologies there yet because
I don't know. Yes, I don't know if the technology is there yet,
because sports is still tied to cable.
And that might change, but like there's a lot ESPN
and the NFL can't do that they would want to do online
because they're so tied to like,
subscribe to cable, subscribe.
American TV, and you may not realize this
having just only had American TV.
It's dog shit.
How so?
In quality.
Oh yeah, it's like, none of it's 1080p even. you're a 10 AI if it's satellite you can get full 1080p
Nobody has that most people just have cable
My no, no, you're right. Yeah, I try and watch the worst is
Time order now spectrum. I never I've never used a inspector, but when I had time order
They're fucking quality it was garbage. Yeah, most of it is all standard death. Even if you watch HD, like some of the ads are in
like a tiny box in the middle of the screen.
It's like, I just don't understand it.
It's so compressed, it's a blocky.
Yeah, it looks fucked up.
And because of the resolution,
if there's like a still frame of like a brick house,
it's all fucked up.
The pixels are trying to decide like which brick they're on,
it's like, it's bad compression.
Yeah, so if something's live on TV,
I would deliberately wait for the on demand
just so it doesn't look just compressing in garbage.
I don't know why people aren't more annoyed about it.
I think it's like satellite TV like sky.
I think the antenna.
I think the antenna broadcast look pretty good.
Okay, I'm like that's not much on that, though.
You can't like a network and that's it.
Yeah, so I mean, there's a lot of sports on it,
but have you talked about net neutrality recently?
I've tweeted about it.
I haven't talked about it in the podcast in a while.
I've tweeted, yeah.
Oh, before Patrick mentioned,
some new station still shoot in 480 and UPRES to 1080.
I think the time-winter cable new station does that.
Dirty little RTX secret.
Some of our cameras are 480 that you scaleers to
upres for the stream.
Phil.
It works. It looks okay though. In those instances it works okay.
I've looked at side by side, okay let's scale or does a good job.
It looks fine.
Do you remember when you were trying to get security cameras that we could use for
to try and it was almost impossible to get HD ones?
Yeah. Oh I remember.
Yeah you're like, yeah we should just...
Did you see there was that video a couple of weeks ago
of that guy robbing a Jimmy John's restaurant?
And that was like the highest quality security camera footage
I've ever seen.
Was it a nest or something?
I don't know what, no, it was like...
It was a commercial CCTV.
I'll see if I can find a video.
But it was like, I can see everything in this video.
This video is awesome.
Oh, that's cool. I also saw the Dell now have a commercial 8k monitor that you can buy it's like 5 grand
Thing is insane. Oh, is this the video? Oh?
Yeah, oh wow aspect ratio is weird. So 4 3 I think yeah
Like HD 4 3 which is weird
They're probably I mean that they're really capturing right there.
All they really care about.
I mean, it's probably just as much to monitor the employee
and the cash drawer as it is the customer right in front.
Like, I didn't care about everything at all.
So wait, what's happening right now?
Are they...
The guy's gonna rock it.
He has about to rock it.
Oh, this is the one where the guy just doesn't care.
Oh, my God.
It's crazy because like, you know, it wasn't too long ago, you just
had VHS tapes. Do you think that's loaded? The way he's going to finger on the trigger?
I think it is. I feel like he would be an insane person to hold it like that. Look, you
can see the silver on the tip of the gun. Oh, shit. When he cocked it, you can see the
bullets coming out of the chamber. He already had a bullet in there. And when he pulled
the slide back, it did not eject properly because of his hand,
so the bullets jammed in there.
The gun's jammed.
So he was like one finger away from blowing that guy's head off.
No, the gun's jammed, it probably wouldn't fire.
He might be able to fire like that,
but it probably couldn't fire.
There was a...
That guy was incredibly cool.
Yeah, that's how it was posted.
It was like, the guy just is so calm.
There's not care.
There was somebody in a central Texas that was just a tried
for, at the very end, we could have waited before he,
you're sorry.
You can see like from off camera,
he tosses his gloves into the trash cans.
Nailed it.
Time to put a new pair off.
I'm gonna go look somewhere else.
The, there's a guy who's tried recently for robbery
with a deadly weapon and
There's defense try to get that
Charge reduced to just
robbery
But the prosecution said no it's gonna be robbery with deadly weapon, but they were using like air soft guns
I'm not sure they were actually loaded and the defense team actually went up there and said we are guilty of robbery
We robbed these convenience stores.
We being like, you know, the defendant, like the,
but we did not rob them with a deadly weapon.
It was an airsoft gun.
So the guy got acquitted.
And like jury said, look, we would have convicted
if it was just robbery, but based on how the law is written in our
interpretation of it that is bullshit it is not it was not robbery with a deadly weapon
it's how they didn't take the weapon out until people it's an airsoft don't worry if the
intimidate you and make you think it's a deadly weapon it's a deadly weapon I don't know
I mean I don't know what the actual like the the letter of the law is there, but I mean, like that's how the case ended up working out.
I don't know. I don't know.
What if it's a plastic knife?
But it's the intent behind it.
Like, it's not, they're not threatening you with a plastic knife.
They're threatening you with a knife.
It's whether or not you don't know that.
You think you can do it.
But it's not illegal, but it's still the same.
But the whole thing is, it's like, no one, the whole thing is, there's not the danger of death.
You don't know that in the moment if you're the one doing it.
I don't know that's how the statute is written though.
Yeah, but that's where it should look it up.
Because someone in the eye with that softening could kill him.
Just hit straight through the drain.
You've had a drangery, rob banks and stuff.
Yeah, all the time. Tell me about yours.
No, I mean, I feel like it's always like that moment
or like a robber bank or something in a dream.
It'll be like a movie and I'll be like,
you're actually doing it there?
Yeah, it'll be like, I'm like caught up in a bad,
you know, a bad way.
I always dream like, right, I might dream stocks
like after I've killed someone.
And I'm like, why did I do that?
It's that kind of thing.
I don't, I don't remember doing it.
It'll be like, I'll be like,
I'm like, Rob, Rob, I'm like robbery. I'm like, what am I doing?
Why am I robbing this bank?
What, I've just screwed myself.
And I didn't even bring a real weapon.
I brought it there, so I've got.
So you know, all of my dreams are like me trying to come
to terms with the fact that my life is over.
Yeah, exactly.
And then by the time I wake up,
I'm like, oh, there's obviously a dream.
Yeah.
I go by sleep.
It doesn't make you feel better about life.
Your life now, you're like, oh, yeah. I just don't like having these dreams. Where I've just come in, it's just stress't know if I sleep. What was it make you feel better about life, your life now? You're like, oh, yeah, just don't like having these dreams.
We're after some old stress.
It's just stress.
I don't understand like the heroes,
the people who play hero, like the cashiers,
or the clerks at banks.
Like if somebody came in and was like,
I'm robbing you and it was some business that I didn't own.
I'd be like, here you go.
Yeah, everyone I believe should be trained to do that.
Even if other training, but I think it's just like, some people react that way when't own, I'd be like, here you go. Yeah, everyone I believe should be trained to do that. That's how they're trained.
But I think it's just like,
some people react that way when they're confronted
with a deadly weapon.
It's like that fight or flight kind of mentality
where they're like, what if they fight
and they're like, oh wait, this isn't airsoft, never mind.
Yeah.
But you know what I mean?
It's like that people adrenaline and you know,
like someone comes to the thing, you're like,
ah!
Well, I think it's different if you're trying to like,
save someone's life.
But if it's just a thing of like this person
wants money from some rich dude.
They just angry that that that here,
it's just, you know, it's like adrenaline and anger.
I guess.
It's all it takes.
For adrenaline and anger.
Yeah.
You ever been in a fight?
Yeah.
No. Thumb someone once. You thumped someone once? Yeah. Yeah, you were been in a fight. Yeah, no
Thump someone once you thumped someone once. Yeah, that's what I was like a
I was like 20 people fighting in this pub and someone was like choking my friend. So I just like
shoved the back of his head you you thumb. Yeah, just thumb to try and get him to let go and then I liked it
Yeah, what Brandon? Who'd you fight?
I'm pretty sure it was in daycare. Oh, daycare is right. No daycare is rough. You do not know I didn't go to some like fancy French daycare
It was no rough. I want to hear the story about the bar fight now. I don't want to hear about Brandon daycare fight
I kind of want to hear about it. Did you get a nowy? I
Mean I got it or is it a boo boo the first time?
I got like I
You got a black guy yeah in daycare yeah, I know I I'm telling you. What are sure to do?
A lot of people who can, I mean, kids are bored.
You don't have a lot of stuff to play with.
So you play with a bunch of stuff?
So you play with a bunch of stuff?
Yeah, it's like prison.
Violence is like what entertains people?
I mean, you don't have shanks, but like, I mean, you're at daycare for like 12 months
out of the year over the course of like, I don't know how many years
your life stuff's gonna happen.
You know, it's not often, but you know, there's a lot of
happens, you know.
No, I can't remember.
It was probably just some trash talk.
And then some kid got pissed and then trash talks and
daycare trash talks.
And then there was another, and my parents were proud
of me the first time.
And then there was another time where I came out ahead
and punched a kid in the lip.
And I didn't have a black eye.
My parents were not happy,
but you know, kids getting fights in daycare.
I wasn't an asshole, I was in a bully.
I've never known anyone who got in a fight here.
I never got in a fight here.
I do run away.
Wait, out there in the studio here, no one.
I do remember fighting daycare? Oh, one? No, okay studio here. No one. I do remember to fight in daycare?
Oh, one?
No, okay, no.
No, no, can't say no.
Where did you guys, how many of you guys went
a daycare for years?
Really?
And no?
You're the only one Brandon.
Don't act like I do normal things.
And I remember to this day, I remember I was playing
in the playground and we were playing around
and I like headbutted a girl in the stomach,
but it was an accident and I felt really, really bad. headbutted a girl in the stomach, but it was an accident,
and I felt really, really bad.
I had a headbutt and the stomach,
we were just like, I don't know.
It was an accident.
It was an accident.
Like, we were just like running on a thing
and somehow I ended up, I think I like went down a slot.
I feel like it was a slide that was a momentum
and I like hit her in the stomach with my head
and then I felt, she was like, she started crying
and I felt really bad. I don't think that counts as a fight.
You should ask Meg.
She went to the same daycare as I did.
If it was like a rough, rough day, if she remembers him.
Well, hey, what would happen if you'd like, what would happen if you'd like punched Meg as a
like you got it up.
I'd punch you and then hit a girl, not.
So we either at the same time, I don't hit a girl, I'm not. So we eat that at the same time?
I don't think the same age, aren't you?
Yeah, we went into the same daycare
in the same elementary school.
I think we're at the elementary school at the same time,
but I don't know about daycare.
Hmm, yeah, really went in.
I'll have to go, she had some,
how is it boo-bos?
So, last thing I thought we're gonna wrap up here pretty soon.
I don't think I've told Chris this yet, but I've been trying to force myself to rewatch
the Star Wars prequels lately.
I don't think I'd seen him since they came out in theater.
Uh-huh.
Fucking terrible.
So bad.
I wouldn't blurray.
Uh, streaming through iTunes.
I can't, like, I can't sit through an entire film at once.
I can't have to watch like 15 minutes,
like, okay, that's enough.
Step away, you have to have a hobby.
Yeah, something else going on.
Like, you have to be an arson crafts person.
I've only done a phantom manace and attack of the clones.
I got, I can't bring it through.
Which is the way you made it through, you made it through,
you know, the third one's the best of the three
I forgot that in attack of the clones
They don't even get to like the fight on Geonosis until like
An hour and 45 minutes into the movie. It's like an hour and 45 minutes of love scenes on the boo and
Fucking finding the cloners and yeah, and there's some rough performances like I remember you, I seen with you and McGregor and some like slug chef.
And they're like trying to be chummy,
but it looks like you and McGregor,
like Obi-Wan is like hitting or flirting with the slug.
And I'm just like, is there like a romantic pass there?
Or history?
And then like, his scene with Christopher Lee,
like they're both, like these are such good actors
and these performances are so terrible.
It's so bad, it's almost funny. Well bad writing you got this
nothing you can do with it. Yeah. Didn't Carrie Fisher punch up the scripts?
I thought she did punch up the she was it. Forza Wacens I know. I don't know about
the prequels. Anyway it's it's bad. Yeah. I mean I'm trying to get through
because after like me the fourth after Star Wars Day,
you know, everyone replays like episodes four, five,
and six, I wanna rewatch one, two, and three.
So it's been 18 days, and I've watched two of them.
I just, I can't bring myself to do it.
It's rough.
You excited about the new one?
I am.
I'm ready.
I wanna see a proper trailer for it, not just this teaser.
Don't watch it trailer.
I'm gonna watch it.
I'm gonna fuck you.
I don't care.
That's what I want.
All right, well let's wrap this up.
So thanks for watching everybody.
If you're watching live on Monday, stay tuned for CCTV.
Kouchop is doing their first ever podcast right after us.
It's right there on the clock.
You think I'll burn this set down on the first episode?
I gotta go to their podcast now
and break something that they like.
So I'll see you guys next week. Bye.
Bye.
So I will see you guys next week. Bye. Bye. Subscribe to showtoy newcomer and I'm more familiar with. Do you like apples? All right, examples.
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