Rooster Teeth Podcast - The Python Penis – #378

Episode Date: May 31, 2016

RT Discusses Pythons Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Hello, welcome to this Memorial Day podcast. This week sponsored by Blue Apron, Brain Tree, and Crunchy Roll. Crunchy Roll. Blue Apron. Uh, I'm Gus. Iaprin. I'm Gus. I'm Bennett. I'm Aaron. I'm Boba Boba Barbara.

I'm Gus. And just a warning, we are pre-taping this episode of the podcast, so we are going to be ignoring you on social media, because we're not actually looking at it in real time. Or so then you should. So let's make this as timely as possible. So people have lots to complain about. So it's crazy that Egypt Air 804 got sucked into a

transdimensional world. Right. And then they just popped up back and just arrived back in Cairo out of nowhere. Yeah. Yeah. The the giant sea monster though on top of it was a big concern. Oh yeah. That was the surprising part. Yeah. It had more food in it when it went back through like how it refilled everything. I'm so confused already. That's the point. So we're pre-taping the week before. It's so early in the morning right now. Early in the morning. We have, when we first started doing podcasts, this was the only podcast we did, so we

could do it whenever. And now there's so many live streams and broadcast shows. If we have to reshuffle anything, it's like, okay, cool. You can either do it at 6am or 10am. Like, we'll do 10am. Yeah. Although, a 6am podcast would have been pretty entertaining, I think. Just show up in our pajamas.

Yeah. Where are we? What are we doing today? Okay. Egypt Air. Disappeared. And then we move on. Or we just do like a group chat podcast from home and bed.

Group chat. I know. It's something to hype it. Yeah. That'd be interesting podcast. And then we move on or we just do like a group chat podcast from home and bed That'd be interesting podcast lots of lag Yeah, so we're I'm headed to San Francisco this weekend. We're a little bit this past weekend. How was kind of funny live? Kind of funny live too was amazing. I wish you were there Well, what was the incredible thing that happened the most incredible thing that happened? The most incredible thing that happened is when the big gated wake spontaneously combusted. Wow, yeah, I love that part too. Well, that's...

Because I was there as well. That's a sad thing. No, it was okay. It had a great, light home. Yeah. So yeah, kind of funny life too is this weekend getting to be heading out there to that. It's been a while so I've been a San Francisco.

I've never been to San Francisco. You've never been? Mm-hmm. I haven't been either. I hear it's nice. My first time in California at all was like three years ago. You're looking me like that. I went to LA with Bernie and Gavin one time and Bernie did like all the touristy stuff with us. Have you been anywhere else in California besides LA? San Diego. Oh right. And then now San Francisco I guess. Well future San Francisco. Well today's Monday now San Francisco, I guess. Well, future San Francisco. Well today's Monday.

San Francisco is great. I was reading some, a current article today where some prankster in the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art or whatever put his glasses on the floor in front of the wall, like facing outwards, like perfectly placed, just to fuck with people, and people came by and started taking pictures of it and stuff, and like getting around, like looking at him, trying to interpret his glasses, because this whole point was like,

people interpret anything as art. And it's really fun. He did it too with, I think, his baseball cap or something, too. He just had it on the floor, placed perfectly underneath a little. But technically, that is art then. That makes conversation. You see, I'm gonna go there and take a it on the floor place perfectly underneath a little but technically that is arthin That makes conversation You see I didn't

It was great. It was like Banksy and his friends basically telling everybody who buys his stuff for thousands of dollars That they're all fucking idiots more on there and then the people who loved his stuff look at that Look at the guy taking a picture It can't possibly be real. It is real part. Oh, it's on the internet. It is real. It's on the independent Yeah, more real than that. He put up like a fake informational card as well You know what it says like something about the artist and stuff. He went rogue He just got his glasses off his face and just put him plopped him right on the floor So that's that's what you can expect the same Outside or art. Yeah, that's I like it.

Should I go to Alcatraz? I heard that's a fun tour of subtraction. See, okay. No, okay. And the reason I say no is because it involves. So I have, I have like, I have a lot of weird things about me. One of the weird things about me is that I do not like, and I'm going to get to the point eventually. That's going to be kind of a long round about me. One of the weird things about me is that I do not like and I'm gonna get to the point eventually. That's gonna be kind of a long round about way. One of the weird things about me is I do not like going to boat parties, like going to a party on a boat because I feel like once you're there, you cannot leave. Right. You are stuck at that party until it's done. It's reasonable. And going to a

tourist attraction like Alcatraz is like a boat party. It's like first you get on the boat, then you go there, then you go there, then you're on an island nobody could escape from, and if you're bored out of your mind, you're stuck there. I feel like you've only been a one-board party, and it was really, I know. I've been to a few, I've been to a few board parties.

You're just trying to slide around. Maybe they'll like that one go. I feel like you've been a one-board party in your life, and it was just really, really bad experience, and it's sourd you and the whole thing. What's going on boat? I've been on two, I think. I went on one, and it was like, I hate this. I went on one and it was like I hate this.

I was like and then again I was like did I have a slipping slide? A slipping slide? Yeah. A slip in slide you mean? No I don't know like a slide water slide. No I was a slide that's slipping. I was on a boat party with you once. Yeah we were on and that was a little too long.

I think that was the second. It was too long. It was too long. Yeah you were there too. Yeah the pirate party. Like you go out and then it's like okay we're done. Nope no we had to turn around and go back. Yeah.

Oh shit. I really liked that party actually. I thought it was the perfect amount of time. It was like two and a half or three hours. Should have been like 30 minutes to 60 minutes shorter. Oh, I can see that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I liked it.

I like being stuck on a boat with people I don't like. So I can't go tubing, man. You're like, there's three hours, no escape. Oh yeah, well, the guadalwood. Low attention span. Well, the thing with tubing is like when you go in some places in your bramples It's like okay, you can get out here or you can go into the next one and invariably when you pass the first checkpoint to get out You're like a little tipsy. You're like nah, look keep going keep going

We're having a blast and then it's like three more hours like oh my god get me out of the fucking water So have you or every hour will you ever do a cruise? God know never no cruise Get me out of the fucking water. So have you or will you ever do a cruise? God no. Never? No. A cruise? Fuck no. But that's like, like, the whole fun in it.

I was just like being on a boat and then getting off at different stops and like being able to chill on the boat or a boat. Yeah, but the days between each with no escape. You go off a four day cruise. I think we just have like endless food and drinks. Yeah, I've got endless food and drinks in my home. Oh, man. There's another aspect to crew that go on on a cruise that I think you just have endless food and drinks. Yeah, I've got endless food and drinks in my home. But there's another aspect to crew,

the going on of a cruise that I think you'd like us. It's the sneaking the booze on board aspect. I think you would do it just to do that. Cause it's the thing with, you know, you pack three jumbo-sized list-rean bottles, full of vodka, dyed green, or whatever, however else you're gonna do it. It's like, yeah.

You seem an absolute experience with this. Or you would however else you're gonna do it. Like, yeah. You seem an asset of experience with this. Or you would just drink a string. I just, yeah. You probably enjoy ridiculing the comedian too. The book comedian, yeah. The book comedians? The book comedians? Absolutely.

There's only book comedians, right? So have you gone to Alcatraz, or is it just a thing that's why you don't want to? No, but I've never been. Okay. But I see it, and it's like, that looks like a trap. But how long could the two of you? People wanted wanted to escape their people would die trying to leave there I'm not gonna get on a boat and just head over there and visit it I that's what I'm afraid of that some some crazy or some moon something's gonna happen

And it's they're gonna just activate prison mode again, and you're not gonna get out like that's my it's like the jokes I do Brandon this is a fully operational We're pulling up the giant bar that'll slice your head off. Come on in. Do you think it's rock or something? This isn't Michael Michael Bay movie. You're gonna be fine. It lasts like Every other thing's they're gonna be fine until they're not fine. Oh, no shit Brandon. I know I'm saying because you think you're gonna be fine. Does it mean you're gonna be okay? Nobody's like man today. I'm gonna get fucked. You're either fine or not fine. That's everyday.

I can't argue what you're saying because it's so stupid. No, I'm gonna approach. My whole point is that you're just trying to like low mean to this false sense of security because everybody thinks it's gonna be fine every day until it's not fine. But you had no way to know it was not gonna be fine because for all you knew, it was gonna be a fine day.

That's a new shirt. If you have have everything's gonna be fine and on the back until it's not with like a Oh my god, I'm a guy hanging or something. You made a lot darker than it needed to be That's exactly what he's saying is that the murder thing and the slice the head off. Yeah, I want to go to Alcatraz I think it'd be a good Me too. I actually haven't been and you used to live in San Francisco Yeah, I never went to Alcatraz I was afraid that like I'd get trapped in the island and that bad thing that I didn't know was gonna happen was gonna happen I thought yeah, you'd be afraid that everything was fine until it wasn't yeah, nobody looks it's I mean

It is far away from the actual city. I mean, it's like a mile in the water I think really you know, I could be wrong about the distance, but it's not like a close swim. I guess that's why I was present. But yeah, plus that water's fucking cold. It's cold as shit. How can you have a beach and have water that cold? I don't get it.

It just doesn't work. Why is it not a prison anymore? Why'd they shut it down? Because it was cruel. It's a cruel place. I don't think that's it. It's like fucking an ascub- I think Alcatraz is one of those prisons

that had a lot of systematic abuse and problems with it that they eventually just shut it down. It was like falling apart and also, there's other prisons like that now that, like, I think, was it Roosevelt Island or whatever in New York? There's prisons that like just need to be shut down. Like it's a group.

Maybe it's Rikers, yeah, but I think Alcatraz is one of those. They're like, I'm plus the escape kind is one of those. They're like, I'm plus the escape kind of tarnished their their publicity. I don't know like when the guys got away. I've learned so much more about prisons since I started watching oranges in New Black. I used to think all prisons were the same. Like everybody had their own cell and everything. No. But some of them are like less, I guess it's called minimum security or something. I know there's maximum security prisons. If you really want to learn about prison,

you should watch Oz. That'll help. You need to watch the orange is a new black first and then she can graduate to Oz. Oz is, I'll just tell you, it's a little intense. I'm working my way up there. Elka Tras apparently was in need of a lot of repair and they determined that it was three times more expensive to operate than any other prison.

So they started the repairs and they got to a point where they were like, this is a really expensive prison and it turns out these repairs are going to cost a lot more than we thought, so let's just forget it. Yeah, because they, any major things they have to bring in, they have to be like fairytale, right? It's basically a little Australia is what it is. It's kind of yeah. So did they have to transfer like fairy then right? It's basically a little Australia is what it is. Yeah. It kind of yeah. So did they have to, I guess, transfer all of the prisoners? Yeah, it says that, I guess, at the time,

they submitted plans for a new maximum security prison in Illinois, and they just kind of reshuffled them. And I want to say Francisco to Illinois. Huh, that's a big move. Not a good move. Not a great move. Yeah, that must have been a bummer if they all went to different places.

I wonder if they had a little party, a little going away party. I wonder like, guys, it was a fun 20 or 30 years, but, you know, it's time to move on. Let's go around the circle, and everyone's in a favorite memory. Everyone shoots the person to the right of you. Put some green day on.

So, I've talked about this show for a couple of times. In the past few podcasts episodes, but there's that reality show 60 Days in that I think I've talked to all you guys about. Where's the person one? Innocent people in jail. And when the show finally ends, and some of them are going home,

it's like what you're saying, it's like they break down the crowd, like oh, I'm gonna miss you. You know, we had such a good time, like what the fuck happened to you people? And the person off the show is like, come on, we gotta go and they're like, hold on, I'm saying goodbye.

Like, just leave. One more man with a T-bone please I kind of understand that though because you spend Like five 10 15 20 years when this case it was two months. Oh, that's it Oh, it's still quite a bit. It's not like you don't want to go to pray Well, it's because you know you go through the initiation and that sucks and then you finally get through it All of a sudden you got a lot of it's kind of like hey, brand. What's the initiation? No, you got a they're like give you the punches like that on your chest. What else is it? The initiation is fine. I'm sure there's some kind of like Gang initiation and prison that involves something that's you know you

don't want to do. It doesn't have to be but sex. It could be like orange is a new product. It could be anything like you know to get any of donuts. Aaron hits it's not called that's not bumping donuts. You bump donuts like that you get the and you go like that. Nobody besides you calls it bumping donuts. I've never heard that before. What is bumping doughnuts? Air will not stop until everyone calls sizzering bumping doughnuts. It's such a great term that I think I made up, but maybe I didn't.

Is it bumping dough or is it like a sliver of cookies? It's more like a rubbing doughnuts. Yeah, now it's bumping doughnuts. No, no, no. Because the motion is funny to me. Like if the doughnuts bump, do we have any doughnuts left from this morning? morning to demonstrate that's not what happens you run into it's on urban dictionary all right hey so we're getting done it's while he's

getting that it's a phrase used to describe the act of two holes or openings pounding or touching each other that's bump and don't know don't know that bumper one who participates in enjoys bumping donuts now see i also think it it's not just uh... lesbians I think two guys could bump donuts because you just have to get your butts to No, but your butt cheeks are too big. No, no, no, you gotta get, you know, no, no, that's why I can't I think you can bump donuts. Yeah, you can clamp to pull it open. Yeah, I know because I have a really flat butt Yeah, it's really so it's it's practically really annoying because if I sit on the ground for like three minutes or more it's very painful I think that's the same for anybody though. I feel like I have a similar problem, but it's like pure bomb

Yeah, yeah, definitely and the problem I have is pound it pound it pound those donuts if I sit like a fall asleep on a plane Yeah, when I wake up my ass really hurts because it's so bony that was like all the weight was right there It's like how my butt and like I've just turned up and like wiggle my butt around. Yeah. You guys have the bonyest asses. Yeah. I've ever heard this awful. How do you live?

It's a struggle. Yeah, it's not good. I just don't understand how you got your butt to be as not bony as it is. You mean it's beautiful as this. How does you do that? I think because I accidentally, I don't know why. I walk on my tiptoes a lot.

Oh yeah, you do. And so I've developed my calves and my glutes. You're always like squatting everywhere. Yeah, I'm always squatting. Aaron just walks along. Constantly just squatting. Then I get, oh, I shouldn't have done that. I was, the carpets fucked up, no.

Yeah, sorry. It's okay, it's going away soon. I was wearing a, not, I was squatting a couple days ago, wearing that cow t-shirt that I got that. It's okay, it's going away soon. I was wearing a couple days ago, wearing that cow t-shirt that I got that- It's not just a cow t-shirt, it's a farm animal t-shirt. My farm animal shirt, everyone was, I could see everyone was looking at me in the gym,

like, because they're all wearing their onesies and whatever else they wear at the gym. And I was like, I looked like an asshole, and I did look like an asshole. But then I put on all the weight on the squat with my cow shirt, my farm animal shirt, and then I do it. And then you were a strong asshole. Yeah, that's the end of the story, basically.

So the story is, everyone to the gym, people's audience was an asshole, he lifted weights. And then left an asshole still. Still like that. He looked at us. He looked at us. He looked at us. He looked at us.

He looked at us. He looked at us. He looked at us. He looked at us. He looked at us. Yeah, it should be like the title of your biography. Yeah. And that should be the entire content of the biography. Yeah. It's just like three sentences. Aaron was born. Couple years later, he bought a farm and a piece. But it'd be 400 pages, but like the four pages that actually have stuff written on them would be within that 400 pages, so you'd have to like flip through

all these blank pages, these wasted pages, define the story. Just like your life. Fuck you, Barbara. Fuck you, Barbara. That's gonna be dark and sad I'm just kidding. There's me a page about me there. That would be really nice There wouldn't it'd be like half-page and be stuck to the other pages

Not to get political oh god Brandon you're on a streak today so It's not the political until it is. This is the funny thing that apparently they uncovered about Donald Trump back in the 90s. It's like funny genius. Apparently he made up personalities and posed as his own like publicist. Did you hear about that?

Yes. So people would like call to talk to Donald and he'd take and he's like, yeah, this is Jerry. I'm looking to be a little bit more. That's my last time. Yeah, no trust Donald Miller. John Miller. He's just the great plus me I know him very passionately. I know him very correctly

And there was some kind of like open secret like the reporters kind of knew about it like a tongue-in-cheek thing But it was just like Why would you be cheap and funny? So it's really funny and in the past he had even admitted that it was him Yeah, and then now it's come back up and he's like, no, that wasn't me, he was a real person. It's like, you already admitted that, and it was funny, it was a funny thing when you did it when you admitted, it's like, oh, that's so funny.

And now you're like, no, that was a real person like, whoa, no, no. No, we know it wasn't. Right, you told us it, you told us this was a joke. Yeah, that's really funny. The lengths to which people like, we'll just go along and play with it. Because I'm sure they like, it kind of like like he's fucking with them and they know it.

It's like, well, it's someone's fucking with you, but they're just holding a character and they're not letting go. Then you have to treat that person as a person. If you're a reporter and you're trying to get a story or something from, was it John Miller or is that what you're saying? Then you just have to treat him like a real person and that's the oddity of it from me for me It's just like yeah, this was a person they had to deal with even though it was Donald Trump and he was being an asshole Like what are you gonna do is we have no Donald no because otherwise you're just gonna hang up and he didn't like pretend to have another boy

He has a very distinctive voice and you can hear recordings of the conversations where they was like yeah, that sounds like it Yeah, this is John Miller. I'm a great PR guy probably the best PR guy. Go ahead. What do you got? All the PR guys have small dicks. Yeah, don't trust them. And he just like trust me. I know I would know I have a very close connection with it And it's just like I don't know. I think he's like he's trolling. How did he produce such a beautiful daughter? From a beautiful what? He's I mean his genetics are still in there. Well, he wasn't a bad looking guy. I mean If you look at young pictures of him, I guess I've never seen a young picture of Donald Trump No, he's not a bad looking guy Me wasn't all his least dashing the dashing looking good. I never thought I'd do he's a taller dude, too

You know, I guess very fuckables what I'm saying I mean I'm Most of the guy in the world. I'm probably the most profitable guy in this room Two Michael Jackson's kids aren't his right not Donald Trump's no Hey, why'd they take down the Donald Trump movie off funny or die? Did you guys take it down? Yeah, I like that There yes, well he's handsome. Oh He's you get that guy 72 now is he, he's handsome. Oh, he's handsome. Oh, he's handsome. You get that guy.

I'm using 72 now. Is he really? Ranted, he's not super- He's the best looking 72 year old in the world. Wait, I mean, find a better looking 72 year old. What year is this from? Let me see, it was the 80s. That has to be like 70s or something.

Maybe that's what he is. Yeah, I mean. He's not a bad looking dude. For 72. And Ivana or Ivanka. Ivanka. Which is his wife, or was his wife? he doesn't he's not a bad looking to you for seventy two and if on our if on the of uncle which is his wife or was his wife uh... she's she's pretty well yeah i don't understand so you know

also election liberals conservative vote hillary now what you're so mad at the political uh... throw it in there oh don't you know i don't like political. I was trying to throw it in there. I'll answer it out. You washed it out.

I felt like you said a nonsense sentence. It was. It was a list of things. Oh, okay. I'm just trying to balance out his discussion. It's way too early. I don't understand what you're saying. While we all try to digest that, let me read this thing. Please.

Thank you. Thank you, Gus. What I'm wondering, this episode of the it's brought to you by Blue Apron. Not all ingredients are created equal. Fresh, high quality ingredients taste better and are better for you, so it's important to know where your food comes from. Blue Apron knows that when you cook with incredible ingredients, you make incredible meals, so they set the highest quality standards for the community of artisanal suppliers, family

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It's one of my favorite recipes that they've set that I've made. I've never done blue apron yet And I think I want to try it out. It's easy. I feel like it's it's It's a good way to like after working all day, there's a good way to just like relax and just like cleanse your mind. It's like I'm just gonna, you know, it's easy here with instructions. I'm just gonna do this, combine the shit and this eat and it's like, oh, I always wanna try a meal

and it's like I don't wanna go to the grocery store just to pick up those ingredients and just make that meal. It seems like such a waste of time for me. Yeah, and the plus also usually you end up buying too much or it's like you get like a giant thing like a giant thing, like our car. No other meal requires those ingredients,

like, you know, cardamom and whatever else. Yeah, like some vanilla extract, the thing that I have a ton of and the idea what it does. It's because you only use it for cookies and vanilla, you never use it. It's like extract lasts forever, right?

Yeah, I don't think it goes bad. It's like, yeah, I think it does eventually. But it's like years in the future, right? I remember my mom had a bottle of vanilla extract that no joke. I mean, I remember seeing it was four or five and she had until I was in my mid 20s. Like, it was the same one.

It had the same like 80s looking label and stuff on it. That's gotta be a tough business to be in. Like selling extracties is like, man, we sold everyone a bottle already. Yeah. The country's good for the next third of years. We're just gonna shut down for a while. That's why it seems they only have one or two in the store

when you go to buy one. You're just like, oh, well, I got one of them. I'm one of the people who didn't have it yet. Go get your coffee. Yeah, that's what I feel about pornography, though. Go on. It's like, we've already made enough to last. That's wrong.

Why do we need to make... There's not enough. Do you think that there's like new fetishes? Do you think there's a conglomerate of porn producers who are like, listen, we need to sell more porn, we need to come up with a new fetish, a new angle for pornography. A new angle. Something from really low.

We need donut bumpers. It needs something from inside the asshole. Yeah. That's what's gonna be, it's gonna be VR and it's gonna be inside the vagina and ass. Yeah. It's already, it's gonna be, it's gonna be inside the bottle.

That I understand, if it's like something VR or you know, extratopical right now, like a new show comes out, I get that, but just like generic pornography we have it. We have more than we need. All right, I'm gonna do something right now and I can't believe I'm doing this at work I'm going to porn hub and I want to see how many categories of pornography they have yeah, I want to see too

Yeah, I'm not I'm I'm going there for the articles. I swear Why am I on this podcast right now when there's VR porn of inside vaginas? This is a waste of time when I'm doing right now. I could be in a headset Yeah, you shouldn't be saying that's kind of stuff in front of me. No, what? Oh. Yeah, probably not. But you could be in your own VR world too. We could be having a nice date.

We could just be together. Oh, yeah. I guess. Like a sex scene in TimeCop. You guys ever seen one? No, that was Demolition Man. Demolition Man. It's not TimeCop. I mean, I'll send you your dick scene in time cop. You guys ever seen that? No, that was Demolition Man. Demolition Man. It's not time, Cobb.

I mean, I'll send you your dick back in time. Keep talking, I'm still counting. Yeah, it's the same. The same like time period. Demolition Man was great, because like, as soon as like Silvicious Lone puts on the little whatever crown for the sexing, he's like, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh. And then he had that weird flashback, whatever, and Sandra Bullock's trying to bone him with the... I've never seen this, so try to make sure you explain it. It's probably the best. Demolition Man, it takes place in the far future, 20, 32, or something like that. And so sex has been outlawed because it's too,

like physical sex, because there's too many... Yeah, as opposed to... As opposed to the sex they develop but physical sex is outlawed because there's Diseases and stuff so they make this sex where you put on the two people sit across from each other and they put on these little halos that transmit your thoughts to one another and then you just have to focus and you sit across from each other and try and sex each other with your minds and And Santa Bullock and selfish Sloan engage in it, but Santa Bullock's having a great time and she's like, oh, you know doing this thing But selfish Sloan's been frozen for 30 years and he's having a bad time and so he's just Or maybe that's a really good time for him

Anyway, I'll have another cup of coffee and I'll stop talking about this. So, if you had to take a guess, I counted how many categories are on PortnHub for In the straight category and in the gay category. Guess how many do you think are in each of those categories? Well, I feel like if you just hit the categories button, it's probably about 32. That's what I did. I just hit categories and then there's an option There it's a straight or gay and I counted in each or 32 each or 32 total Probably man, I would think 32 total, but I've never seen it segmented like that. So I bet there's 200 each 200 so 32 200 a little bit of a difference between those two. I'm gonna guess that there's 30 categories in each so 60

It was 86 in straight I'm gonna guess that there's 30 categories in each so 60. It was 86 in straight, 26 in gay. Come on, gays. Get up as categories. Wait, one of those categories is only developed within last few years. It's an excellent question. They've been having a lot of gay and sex

for more than the last six months. That means the last five or six years. There's a couple of these I can already tell you when it got there. The first two, virtual reality and 60 frames a second. 60 frames a second. What was on the hobby came out? The NFL filming sex scenes.

Maybe. That's too many categories. That's, I prefer meat and potatoes when it comes to the porn. Just meat and potatoes. Yeah, and just meat and potatoes. They have a separate category for they have a separate category for Euro and a separate category for Czech. Well it's kind of like going back to

Blockbuster back in the day is like you're a party you can't think. It's something you spend too long like looking for something or deciding on something and then eventually you just like get tired, give up and go home. I wonder if you just end up masturbating the choices. Okay. Oh, he's so many options in light. This is amazing. Just seeing the word, oh, 60 frames a second.

Oh. It's like you're just imagining it in your head. I wonder if as a porn actress or actor, like you said, check and you're a rose one, like you could be, you know, whatever Australian or something blow up because you have, but because you have a Roseman? Like, you could be, you know, whatever Australian or something blow up because you have, but because you have a certain look, you have to be in check porn

because you have like a little tan and like a certain nose or something, whatever they're like, yeah, you have to be check porn. Like, we're not gonna be able to sell you as of whatever. As Australia, Australia, I don't really even think was a catty or anything else. Australia was one. But yeah, that'd be weird.

If you're like, no, you don't understand. I am from Italy and a La, they're like, this is porn. You're gonna be Czech or Russian. That's sorry. You know? Well, Australian porn, you can't really tell that it's Australian unless they start talking.

No, you can tell because they're upside down. Oh, they're fucking. Oh. They do really good when they go down under. A, my mind was better. My mind was better. So like, what happens in the world? If they just stop making porn right now nothing happens

What happens people have to start drawing stuff? Brandis saying this is already enough of a bad catalog like you couldn't but how much it was SD right? It's like now You know you like I don't want to watch HD stuff There's no if I want to watch HD porn you do you have to there's no SD porn anymore. We're talking about there's a HD porn you do you have to there's no SD porn anymore. We're talking about there's a set on 240 p There's a set about like the amount of books in the Was a library of Congress? Yeah, and how long it would take you to read like hundreds and hundreds of years or Why did you deferring to me you're the one telling the story? I

You're most likely to read books this year, and I wonder how Based on all the pornography in the world how long it would take you to watch everything, probably like a million years. Well, you'd be allowed to do that in heaven. Like, if you're in heaven, you're like, listen, there's only one thing I can do is watch every single porn ever made. It's like people like, well, you want to read every book

or whatever, like, no, no, no, no, no, no. I want to see every single porn. And I want to see all the alien porn. I want to see each of you having discovered. I want to see you. You better bring that inner galactic shit, No, no, no you start on the spectrum. Yeah, you start with stuff that's pretty tame and then you work your way up to the best stuff. If you've got a million years, then you're looking for something you'll buy the end.

I gotta get something different. Well, nothing turns you on. I've seen that stuff stuff. I've seen porn bloopers. Oh yeah. Brandon has the weirdest porn taste. It's not a porn taste. It's not my taste.

It's just funny. It's his taste. It's not. It's definitely his taste. It's not.'s not important. I don't it's not my taste. It's just funny. It's this tastes. It's not it's definitely a taste It's not what is your taste? I Don't know. It's a very private question. Yeah But anything is assured about anything with like tentacles or anything like that. He loves that anything with like Like they always have I can't do multiple tentacles But isn't that a cat is that a category tentaporn? You know it is stop playing I know I'm saying I know it's like it's like I know it's a type of

video and it's like a specific button for it there's just there was a hand type button yeah no but not one for tentap fuck okay I'll go to port and hope for like the 10th time today god damn it just Adam I'm sorry just keep it up please I already didn't eight other times other than the first one is... Hey! Sorry. What I did before the podcast in my own business. Can I prepare some now? No, there's no tentacle. Okay, sure.

It makes me kind of sad. You're talking about the book thing. It's a dorky thing to say, but it's sad that you'll never be able to read all these great books. These are just not enough time to do it. Same with the porn. You'll never be able to watch all this great porn, but like... There's not enough time to watch all this great porn in the porn, you'll never be able to watch all this great porn. But like, the book,

is that at a time to watch all this great porn in the world? You only have a certain amount of life. Especially like a lot of porn videos are on the internet are 15 minutes, some can be even longer, and you only watch like, you know, two minutes. Well, yeah, you watch the first, 20 seconds, and then the middle like 30, 35 seconds,

and then the ending minute. Yeah. Welcome, Barbara's face, as you're talking about that was minute. Yeah, yeah, look at Barbara's face. You're talking about that was amazing. She knows I'm right. It's true. It's true. We have the same point.

Do you remember? For some reason, one of the big porn sites tweeted at miles. Oh, you might have been porn hub. And then at the by the end of it, there were like three different major sites. And the third one I think their comment was, Hacim, we've been left out of the party? And it was like, this is the strangest thing I've ever seen. Community manager for I think it's you porn.

She's a big Rooster Teeth fan. Oh really? I think her name's Katie. Yeah, she's like tweeted all of us. And I responded to something she wrote once and she goes, are you the Barbara? And I was like, am I the Barbara? No idea, she's like Rooster Teeth.

Are you the-Porn? We should do more collaborations with PornHub. Bubbendona. I'm just thinking out loud. It can be a new category. Donut Bumpers. Oh, I thought they were getting donuts, so you could do a visual.

Oh, it's all the donuts are gone. They were eaten. I bought some this morning. Why did you buy some for everybody? It felt nice. I'm a little sappy. The owner of that donut shop that's kind of by our studio had a heart attack last week.

Oh my God. Yeah, it's not been going by lately and just trying to leave money in the tip jar and buying donuts. Because he and his wife. Yeah, they're right. Yeah, he's alive. I mean, he survived.

How did you find out about that? I saw an article about it posted somewhere. So I've been going by trying to buy what you don't it's lately man One time Chris and I went in that donut shop. We're going to a production And it was like five in the morning and this was at the time where like you know You don't have anyone to go get this stuff like Chris and I had to go get the craft services and get the direct You know do all the everything who show up at five in the morning and wanting to order donuts and collaches for like 50 people and pour the lady and the guy, they're like, oh, and they like start scrambling,

trying to get this together. They totally didn't, they could have told us to fuck off, but they were like scrambling to get all this stuff together. And Chris is like demanding things as they're doing, I'm like, Chris, they're trying to like more bear claws and more and they're like, oh, this stuff. And like, they were just, they're trying to like more bear claws and more You know like all this stuff and like they were just they're freaking out

But they got it all together and they got all of our food and we were out there in like 15 minutes They're so nice place. I think I got collaches for you this morning. Yeah, that's what I was eating collaches before Yeah, I feel like you don't ever hear about that place. It's like I didn't even know what collaches were until I moved to Austin I think collaches are like a big like central Texas. Yeah, they're big and must think because I until I moved to Austin. I think colachis are like a big central text. Yeah, they're big text. It must be because I had never heard of them before. Yeah, because I think it's like German or... Yeah, maybe Polish and...

Jack, how do you even... You're right, it's Czech. It's a Czech category. I'm gonna go to the Czech category and porn open it just colachis. It's just colachis having sex. How do you even explain it to people who don't know what they are? It's just like, I guess, meat with dough around it. It's just a pig in a blanket, most kind of. But but like it's like a lot softer than the pig in a blanket dough

Yeah, yeah, it's like a we're not getting barbres Can't can't Barbara can you it's a lot softer? Barbara there's a new Barbara category on porn Yeah, it's just like a soft like You know bun filled with a hot dog in it, but it's completely closed off. This is really interesting. Okay, so I looked up Kalachi, and again, that's on Wikipedia.

So who knows what the, if this is fucking true or not. The Kalachis that they have here on Wikipedia don't look anything like the Kalachis we buy. And then there's a subcategory under related dishes that says there's a related dish called a clobba snake, which is what we refer to as Kalachis. And you click on that and it says it's popular in Central and Southeast Texas, and you click on that, and that's what we call a Kalachi. That's what I'm using. Klauba, what?

Klauba, Klauba Snick. Klauba Snick. Why would you do that to Snick? Oh, Klauba Snick. Snick. Snick. So that's what we do. Send him to the Klauba Snick.

Then you're baked him to a thing, yeah Yeah. What brings stick down there and club them. I think so. So one of the places I like to get collages whenever I drive to Dallas there's that place in West called the checkstop. Yeah. They've been there and they sell collages and so I'm explaining that because this might have a weird train of thought again. So a few years ago there was that explosion in West. Remember the fertilizer factory blew up? Yeah. And there was follow-up news about that last week.

I don't know if you guys saw it, where I forgot if it was the FBI or the ATF. They came out and said that they now have reason to believe that that explosion was intentionally set off. Oh my God. And they didn't give any more details. They just said that it was intentionally caused. Wow. So that's, and the other explosion.

That was a big explosion. That was a big explosion. In West. It's like between here in Dallas. Okay. In West Texas, which is not. Yeah. West Texas. It's close to Waco, correct? But it's still west of here, right? It's northeast of here. That's messed up. That's fertilizer. That's what they use for big bombs sometimes. That's the Oklahoma City bombing. That was for a desert, you know? Yeah. And then I think maybe,

just gave it away, everyone knows that you use that. Also, the World Trade Center bombings, I think, in 93. The one in the van? Yeah, in the van, that was fertilizer as well. They have any leads or not have any idea why? I think so, but they're not saying anything.

I think since it's like the ongoing investigation, all they said was that it was done intentionally, and they're not saying anything. I think since it's like the unongoing investigation, all they said was that it was done intentionally, and they didn't say anything else. Which leads me to another story that I read this morning that I think Maryl sent over. I guess in Wales, they had a problem with this herd of sheep that went on a rampage because they ate a bunch of discarded cannabis plants.

Oh my God! There was like a illegal cannabis farm and they dumped a bunch of discarded cannabis plants. Oh my God. It was like an illegal cannabis farm, and they dumped a bunch of plants, and her to sheep found it, and they went on a rampage in a town. You see if I can find what town it was. Well, they probably ate way too much. I mean, if they ate like a sheep eats,

you know, because they're sheep, then they probably had like a big, you know, they treated like alfalfa. They went nuts. They had to just... All of a sudden they're sitting in circle. They're like, you guys have to wonder where I will go. We are shirts. We're just all shirts, man.

So I guess it was in Swansea Wales and the county counselor, there's a quote from him. I dread to think what will happen if they eat, okay, I'll start over. I dread to think what will happen if they eat, okay, I'd start over. I dread to think what will happen if they eat what could well be cannabis plants. We could have an outbreak of psychotic sheep repaging through the village, then continuing the quote. There is already a flock of sheep roaming the village, causing a nuisance. They're getting people's gardens and one even entered a bungalow and left a mess in the bedroom. Oh my

God. They also ate all the snacks from everyone's house. They were talking about voting for Bernie Sanders. They say that people who know anybody with information about who may have dumped the plants to contact the police because they're trying to figure it out. And it's all really funny to feed animals, weed or alcohol just to watch what happens. But I think they just get, I think they'd have too much though. They'd have way too much. But if you give them like a normal amount, I mean, what people can get pretty,

I mean, that's the damage, the really scary thing with people and we just eating it, because you don't know how much is too much. Well, whenever you're eating it, any amount is always too much. But with the, I mean, I know my dad in like the 80s, he had this dog named Zep, I think, that he would get stoned all the time, and apparently the dog eventually liked it.

How would he get the dog stoned? Well, I don't know if I should get it. There is a way to do it. There is a way to do it, and I think everyone knows, but I won't throw it out there. Anyway, he get the dog stoned all all the time and then the dog kind of expected it at night and just be like, Hey man, what the fuck's the deal? Why are we going to bed? What's the big pen? But that was awesome too. I think they had a different caliber of drug than it was probably lesser. It was probably more defined for dogs then. But now it's just too strong. That's just too strong. I'm marketed for dogs.

A couple of years ago, there was a story out of Japan where there was this company that started manufacturing wine for cats. What? Yeah, it was called Nyan Nyan Nuvvoo. It's $4 a bottle. Wow. So if you live in Japan, you can buy some of that and

What made it special for cats It says it's a wine specially made for cats marketing. I don't know. I got ripped off yesterday. I bought a a snow cone for dogs because I was like oh that sounds delicious for the dog and then I got it It was a cup full of ice with some disgusting wet dog food, like on the side of the edge of the top of the cup. And then like a shitty piece of dog bacon just like shoved through the ice.

I was like, how much did it cost you? It's like $3. Yeah, that's a real cost. I mean, it's gross for you, but I think that sounds fine for a dog. No, no, Penny hated it. And she ate it. Well, I think that sounds fine for a dog. No, no penny hated it And she is the ice anything no all of it she just smelled it all and she just like looked over and started eating grass Should just butter a normal snow cone, but it's just the idea of it seems so cool like I'm the guy that those people market

You are that guy. Yeah, I bet Penny would drink cat wine. Oh, absolutely, I can see that. You think they have Cat wine tasting events? Oh, this is the Cat wine. That looks like soy sauce or something. That doesn't look like wine. No, there's a cat on the bottle, so. Well, yeah. Yeah, it does. And touching the bottle.

But yeah, I wonder if there's some nice wine, you know, like you drive out to wine country in Japan, and there's just a place with tons of cats like in the little caries and stuff. And they're all just, know from little cat or you know I would pay good money to see sideways reshot with cats you might as well sideways is piece of shit movie you don't like sideways like listen I liked it when I first saw it and I re one last time you saw it I

thought about six months ago again see I watched about six months ago it was so slow it got so slow and there were no cats in it. It probably would be better with yeah his movies are usually like that But Thomas Hayden Church was fit. I mean Paul Giamon. He was great too Who uh who directed that that was that I like the pain. Alexander pain. He's really good I like I think I like everything he's ever done. He also did the descendants the naked Kathy Bates movie Who's that? I don't know she's naked naked in it. She's in the hot tub. And Nebraska. Um, about Schmidt, about Schmidt.

That's what it was. Yeah. I don't have to think I've seen about Schmidt. Um, the descendants was good. I was like one of the best movies of that year. I couldn't believe that in when her George Clooney didn't. When do you guys know what the descendants is about? No.

So this guy lives with his wife and Hawaii and she has a stroke and It's really bad stroke like she's basically like she's in a boating accident a boarding accident Cruise line. Oh, yeah, she's a boating accident. Thank you I was like it's not important just make but I mean that's actually like that actually matters. So she's in a boating accident and She's just rendered completely incapacitated. Like, you know, there's just nothing going on. Like paralyzed, nervous. And, you know, her brain, she's just kind of brain dead.

But she was in a boating accident because she was on a boat with the man she was cheating on George Clooney with. Oh. So George Clooney is confronted with his wife, you know, the mother of his children Who's like now in the hospital brain debt, but she'd been cheating on him for years. Oh It's tough. So then yeah, then he goes like it's just grappling with that and then he wants to you know, forgive this guy

So he wants to introduce himself and forgive this guy and tell him if you want to visit her in the hospital You can so it's it's like him, like struggling with that internally and then like tracking this guy down and then having this, you know, really often numbers. George Clooney tracking down the guy with the boat. Yeah. Or something. Yeah, and he just does a really good job of just like being able to internalize that conflict because he's not like an over the top actor. He's not like, yeah, that's typically great acting for me is when they just come out right from the back and just like no No, no, it's true, but he's just it's like those Clooney eyes. You're like, oh, he's so tortured He's really he was really really good movies are just beautiful. It is shot on location in Hawaii It's Clooney eyes

And I mean it's just like all the the scenery and I mean it's just beautiful Yeah, and there's a certain amount of like an I don't know physical comedy, but you know like it's it's it's the same thing With sideways it's kind of like light-hearted, you know drama coming when Tom Satan Church is constantly like when he has sex with that the Waitress the one later on the kind of bigger one. That's the funniest Anyway, yeah great great movie. I don't know. I don't know if it's that great anymore We just saw a nice guys. Oh, yeah, we saw nice guys. I really want to see that yeah Shane black is he's the guy that wrote it and directed it He wrote lethal weapon and last boy scout

Which is one of my favorite movies and kiss kiss bang bang and right and you had read the screenplay for that movie Yeah, Josh got in the on the path on it. Yeah, I can't produce this. Also, I don't have the money. Yeah, no, when Josh and I were living together, he got the script and we read it. We're like, oh man, it's so awesome. And it's one of Shane Black,

they still weren't making his movies because he was kind of like off of Hollywood was kind of wiping their hands of him at the time We're like man this sucks of this movie is not gonna get made because it was so fucking funny the whole script It's just so clever every scene. It's a turn. It's a turn Well, that's one of the problems with it the story you get Can't I lost it? Basically the setup is is this

Down and out PI investigator and this guy who's basically hired to rough people up for money, have to join forces and try and find this girl at the behest of her. Her mom is like the department of justice head or something and this girl is gone missing and they need to find her, you know, otherwise she might be killed or something. I can't give way too much because it's... No, I get it. Also, I don't know how to explain it.

It gets... The story's not the strong point of it. It's the interaction with Gossling and Russell Crowe. Yeah. They're so great. And like, I grew up watching... You know, the kid, his daughter in that movie is great. Yeah, the daughter's pretty good.

I liked the Rockford Files. Well, I was forced to watch it as a kid But like it's got like a Rockford files vibe and it's got a mix of the last Boy Scout Which is this movie made? Yeah, 91 with Bruce Willis and Damon Wayne's and I love last Boy Scout And this has that feel but you should go see it. You told me with your last Boy Scout. Yeah, yeah, it's I'm not sure which is better I think I know but like I think the last voice out had a held a record for a while for the most profanity. Yeah, most f-bombs. Yeah, you can say it. F-bombs. There you go. Most f-bombs. Yeah, I bleep that out in the final edit. Yeah, we will.

Yeah, no, it did. It's something like 200 plus times or something, but it's not a long movie. Because I know, but some of the responses in dialogue are like, you know, Damon Wayne's will say like, you know, so you're not the most personal guy and Bruce Willis will go, fuck you. And he's like, oh, that's a great comeback. And he's like, guy, anything else, he's like, yeah, go to hell and fuck you.

Like it's in a span of 10 seconds, you get two of them, you know, and it's great. Great writing. Great writing. Fantastic writing. Yeah, one more thing's great. Great writing. Great writing. Fantastic writing. Yeah, one more thing to read. Another thing to read here. On the reminder, this episode of the RESTEETH Podcast

is also brought to you by Brain Tree Payments. Why make payment integration more difficult than it has to be? Brain Tree's powerful full stack payment platform allows you to accept nearly any type of payment from any device with just one integration. It's flexible so your systems and needs and supports most programming languages. So whether using Java, Ruby, or Python,

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That's braintreepayments.com slash roosterte. That's braintreepayments.com slash rooster teeth. Thank you, braintree, for sponsoring this podcast and taking people's money on the internet easy. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. I mean, that's what it is. That's what it is.

You can make a website and set up a store. You can be a spokesperson for that place. Brain tree, take people's money. As a consumer, I appreciate that. I am a spokesperson, so I just did. That's true. It's frustrating when you're trying to buy something and it's like nothing's fucking working It's like look I'm trying to give you my money like why are you making this so hard for me? Well, you know, there's a whole thing that has to have you you want it to be hard

In some regards like for people to take your money, but not heart so hard that you just but if it can't eventually give it It's authorized you if you wanted to be yeah, yeah, well, yeah, if it's authorized, you use. There was a story on the Austin suburb at this morning, I guess the Travis County Sheriff's Department announced that they found like 60 credit card skimmers at different gas stations around town. Oh, I saw that. I was the thing that they placed over the credit card machine

that they could just copy someone's card with. But they wouldn't say which gas stations they were. So it's not hard to business. Yeah. I guess it's not their fault. But still, you want to know, like, did I go to one of those? Yeah, should I be? Maybe they'll notify the credit card companies and then you'll get the notification.

I'm sure. That happened to me with Target. Me too. Yeah. I got a, I got a, I got a, a target. Uh, an email the other day from one of the credit card companies I have, like a personal credit card through. They're like, we've shipped you a new card.

You'll be getting a new card in the mail. Your account number's not changed. We're just sending you a card, you know, with chip technology in it. Like, I've already got a chip in my card. Like, you don't have to send me. Here's another one. Another one, yes. I don't know what's going on.

My credit card got stolen, I think, a couple months ago or whatever. And like, I got a call Apparently someone in Japan was trying to buy like this really state-of-the-art stereo system and like My bank call he was like hey are you in Japan trying to buy like a you know to Shiba Crazy stereo and it's like oh the Shiba crazy. I was like no Absolutely not and they're like okay, and then they like, what we went ahead and canceled it for you. I was like, you want them to cancel it, but you're also like, no, this starts a chain of events that is gonna fuck me for two months.

And it's sure enough it did. Like, I would think that I had changed everything to a new card, but then like, my internet went out. And then like, I have Spotify. And then like like something major, like I forget what it was, oh, like my insurance was linked up to it. And I changed it to like my bank account,

but like all of a sudden, you know, I got this thing, it's like your insurance has been canceled, it ends like just all these things start happening and you don't realize all this, these little things. And that sucks because normally like, when you get your final warning,

like that when it's being cut off, you're like, you're in the middle of other shit. You're like, fuck, I've got a full day. Now I've got to go and deal with this, which is really important, and then everything else gets backed up. The other problem in a bitch for a second here, I'm having right now is my ATM card from my bank,

finally got swapped out to a chip card, right? Which makes ATMs a nightmare for me. Because normally you go to an ATM, and it's like when it was just a stripe, you would swipe your card or stick it in, pull it out. Now I go and it's like, I stick my card in and it's like, pull out your card to swipe it. Okay, fine.

Pull my card out. And it's like, we could not read your card. You have a chip enabled. Please stick your card in and leave it in until you're prompted otherwise. I know it has a fine chip. That's why I left it there, stick it in. It's like, okay, now we can start.

Now it's like, this whole process, I know it needs to stay in there. I'm trying to leave it in there, but the fucking computer is too dumb. I'm gonna just pull it out, then it has to tell you you're dumb and then you get to put, you got to put it in. That helps me at places like Target where, or other stores where I don't know

if the swiping or the chip is taken, because I have a card with a chip. And sometimes you can just swipe it and it still works just fine. So sometimes I'll swipe it and I'll go like You have a chip use the chip and I'm like And then they look at you like you're an idiot and then sometimes you'll go in and you'll like try to put the chip and they're like No, no, no, you need a swipe. Yeah It places different and it fucking annoys me aren't those ATM still running like windows XP?

Some that was like a huge thing when Microsoft is continued support. It's like ATMs around the country, like never upgraded. Yeah, a lot of them ran CE and I think XP is just like, it just works, you know. Apparently not, you know. This time, it's time for an upgrade. It's time for an upgrade. Yeah, this whole, like,

put in Vista. This whole transition, you know, going from magnetic stripe to chip has been a fucking nightmare. What is the benefit of the chip again? I honestly have no idea. So, you know, when you swipe your credit, essentially the way, on a basic level,

the way it works is you swipe the machine, read your credit card number, and then runs an authorization on it. When you use the chip, it doesn't send your credit card number. It generates like a unique one time use token. Oh. That the payment system then uses to authorize.

That way, even if the payment processor's data is breached, they don't have your credit card number. They just have the one-time use token. So it's an encryption type thing or something? Okay. Because I didn't know what the hell the day, because ultimately it's better. All right.

It's just in this period of transition, it's inconvenient. I, because we were using it, I think, in Montreal or something, and like, you have to put it in the card and then you still have to enter in a pen and I was like, what is the point? Yeah, the chip cards in Canada at least I know you have to have a pin number associated with your credit card Mm-hmm. So you would put the chip in put the pin number in and then you wouldn't have to sign anything So the mobile pay is a way better way to go but here you put the chip in and then it looks you still sign

People look at me like I was the biggest fucking idiot when I went to the UK a couple weeks ago because there it's also chip in pin yeah yeah we now we have chip cards you stick it in they're like okay okay like oh you need to sign they like they don't have a pen right they're like oh hold on like they got you know they got to go find a pen they'll like I'm sorry yeah pay cash pay we got to pay with a lot of monopoly money yeah oh in Canada? Yeah. Yeah. Lunees and Tunis. Yeah. When we were in Fiji vacation, I think that's the most fake money I've ever seen.

Like that, it looks, it literally looks like monopoly money. It's small and it's very, I mean, there's nothing, there's no, it doesn't look like there's any safety measures in it. It's just paper. It's just paper. There's nothing, I guess, like, you know how like American money has like the shiny things on it or like some parts that you could tell, like if you look too late. We just call that money here, not American money. What's your US dollars?

Built on. What, they mean, In Fuging Colley Tourism? Probably tourism. I don't know, I was drinking this crazy rum drink that was called, man, what was the called, Barbara? Oh, the rum drink? Yeah, anyway, they grow that and that makes you go crazy.

It's like this, what it is, it's the mix of cola and rum. It's rum and coke basically. It's a rum and coke in a bottle, but you know, it's like the lowest form of rum that they have there in the lowest form of coke, so you drink it, and not only are you getting kind of drunk, but also like, there's some chemical processes going on in your brain where you're just like, it's not filtered or any safety measures with it, it's really good. What was it called? Agriculture accounts for 18% of their gross domestic product.

It's employed 70% of the workforce as of 2001. Sugar exports and the growing tourist industry are major sources of foreign exchange. Yeah, and it was a really good exchange rate. Yeah, it's two to one in Fiji. There it was. Yeah. Or at least when we were there. So it's like, if something costs $200 there, it's only $100 American. Woo! So it's like, I feel like everything we did it. And they also do, they don't accept tips, but it was such a good exchange rate. We're just constantly like here, please. Bounty. Bounty, constantly like here. Please bounty bounty. That was the drink you drink bounty And then you get a little cross-eyed and then you get that chemical bounty smell Oh, I want some now I know we get a nice place and it's like give me a bounty place

And they're like we don't sell that here You know, we're like I was like you need to find a balance right now the bottle looks like the one I found it it's a really bad Photoshop for the label like it looks like yellow font with like yeah on a black background I think or something like that that's their spokesperson yeah that's the rum they make it from they also fuel boats and cars with it It's nice this podcast not brought to you by bounty. No If it was man, we'd we'd have shorter lives. It's a bounty also name of a chocolate bar and paper towel Yes, were you the bounty man ones? No, that was Martin

No, brownie man brownie man There is a bounty paper towel, but they do not have a man. I was brought in for a public access sketch that was taken down by Brony Corporation. Yeah, so when Chris and Zach and I were at our sketch, Brandon was station manager at the time, right? Yeah, so we made this sketch where all these girls are thinking about Bronyman and how he must be

just so manly and lovable and all this stuff. And then it goes into this phase or whatever to the real life Ronnie man. And he's like this drunken crazy guy who's like yelling at his wife and stuff. And so anyway, he ends up killing a bunch of people and all this stuff. And then his neighbors come by and see what's going on. He kills them and buries them and he buries them next to Mr. Clean in this gravel pit and stuff. It was one for the kids.

I played Brian, man. Anyway, we put it up. It was really funny. And then we got all these cease and desist orders from Bronny because this was like early you two. This is like, just a pre-google. This is pre-google. I think like, just a pre-google. I think.

Well, not pre-google. The pre-google YouTube. Oh, yeah. It would have been 2006 or 2007. We're right on the cusp or whatever, but anyway, they made us take it down. They were like, then it was used as a lesson in public access. They were like, you guys can make anything you want,

except things like this. And then they show Bronnie Man. And I was always in those meetings, just like, you guys can make anything you want, except things like this. And then they show, Brony Man, and I was always in those meetings, just like, sulking, because like they made me take it. No, but it was completely legit. It's a dead edition of parody. I know it was.

Like this the most overused term, like defending anything, but that is like, I know. It was cowardice that made them take it down. No, it was cowardice for you for not fighting them. You're the one that took it down, asshole I didn't take it down from YouTube. Oh who took it down. I don't know. I guess it was Bronnie Do you still have that somewhere then? Do you think we could upload that to research? No, we should not upload that to Ruchis or make a new version

We could make a new version certainly, but that was like that was before HD. We had HD cameras too Yeah, there were DV tapes and taping over DV tapes. It was a great program though, that that, that, that, Bronnie, man thing that we did. That's funny, I thought it was funny. Actually, Go in a wife-beater.

What? No, you had the red checkered plat, yeah. Yeah. And we made a lot of interesting stuff. I'm like a wife here, that's all like greased up and bloody. No, he was, I had the real thing on. But like, some of our public access stuff, like, I know you had oh, wife here, that's all like, gree step and bloody. No, I had the real thing on. But like, some of our public access stuff,

like, I know you had seen some of it, guys, so you saw the wingman, and you made that mural of you and Esther based off of something we had in the show, right? I saw you pull it up, yeah. So yeah, I used to live, I used to get all of my television from an antenna like over there, and I could pick up the UT station,

and I would, no, I flipped it and watch it every every now and then and that's how I saw the wingman. So even before like I met you and before you worked here, I'd seen I'd seen that. And so all that garbage. There was some really funny stuff in there. I know. There was a couple who had, I guess like a painting of themselves as centars. Yeah it was me and Jessica who played Jessica in the show. You were stretching that there. me and Jessica who played Jessica in the show. You wrote an origin story for Zach, right?

Like how Zach got in the wheelchair? Oh, you're talking about in public acts. You're talking about, yeah. We had a sketch show that Zach Anner, yeah, Zach Anner, we did an origin story how he got in the wheelchair. He was basically he was he was cleaning up something in the street or whatever that like some he was getting this like record contract or whatever and His contract spills out into the street and as he's like trying to pick up the papers Chris and this this other guy are driving in this SUV and they thought he was a bag of trash in the road So they inform and run over him and then put him in the wheelchair and he loses his record deal and all this stuff It's based on true story. This is so dark.

Yeah. Well that's why we can't show any of this stuff that we used to do on public access. Things for public access, stay on public access. Or go into the depths of the internet. I remember one of our big competition on public access was the guy who would, he's in front of a green screen and he would teach people how to robot, remember that guy? Oh yeah, yeah. Although like women of public access liked him

because he was very honky. We have this like the stereo type of what you think public access is. One time, so when we had a public access show. So then that inspires my wife and I commissioned a painting of ourselves with Benjamin as Rock and Roll Centaur, so I called it. I did not even realize Benjamin's in that center of the so metal that is so god

and that all uh... uh... one time on public access so this was and i was told people uh... so a lot of fans sometimes ask like you know how you put up with negative comments and stuff on you to be whatever and i always tell them what we did stuff on public access when, you know, there were no comment sections or anything like that. You added on public access,

you had to put your phone number at the end of the video, and people would call you and go like, hey, that thing you put on Friday, fucking sucked. And you're like, who is this? They're like, just don't do anything like that again. And so you had to deal with real life people who would tell you either to your face or over the phone that you fucking suck. And so that was a funny element of it. But like basically this one time, this one show, you know how sometimes we have like calling or tweet us about stuff. And blah, we had this thing where we're like, all right, if anyone's watching the first person to come down to the state, this is like 9 p.m. right, when we used to go on. We said, the first person who comes down to the station,

with a flaw in dessert, we will put on air and we will give them a shout out. And so we were like, it was just kind of as a joke and we went on with a life sketch thing or whatever. Anyway, we get this buzz at the door and you remember how there was like a dark and courtyard outside of the war room that you could see out of the windows and you see like shafts like a dark and courtyard outside of the war room that you could see out of the

Windows and you see like shafts of light like little pulls of light we go to the war room when we look out the window and there's Kidney not a shadowy guy in a trench coat with a flon in his hand Staring at the window and he saw us go to the window and look at him and he just waves like that And we go Shut down everything we'll go out the window and look at him and he just waves like that. And we go shut down everything. We'll go out the back. Oh, don't do any more call out. We're all we're liars. Yeah, we're absolutely.

Once we saw that guy, we were liars. Yeah, we're going to bring some great live liars. Everything's great until it's not. I know. It's all coming back. Why is where it's Brandon? There's a circle of life. There was a spin of everything's OK until it's not.

It was another awful story I read this morning. I'll do it. Is this the one you showed us the picture of? Yeah. There was a guy in Thailand. Oh, no, not who sat down to do his morning business. And unbeknownst to him, a Python had worked its way up to toilet and bit his dick and attached itself to his dick and it

sounds like a really bad story but it's like bad in a funny way like oh haha the guys got a snake on his dick but they in this article they have a photo of his bathroom after you know they take him to the hospital and it's just like it looks like a horror movie there's blood everywhere there's a snake that's tied up wait a tie to snake yeah oh that's when in the story they say that when it attached himself to when the snake attached itself to his dick he started screaming for his wife to bring him a rope so he could tie the snake up. Oh my God.

I like to choke it out. I don't know why. If you got a snake on your dick, you're not probably thinking straight. Did it get it on the whole thing? Was it just a tip? I think it was just a tip. Cause tip doesn't count.

What? Just tip doesn't count. Oh, I get it. Just a tip. When a snake bites you everything counts. It'd be funny though. Can we put it, are we gonna see the picture? want to see the picture? Yeah, let's see the picture I've just the bathroom right not anything else

Yeah, the people in People are groaning in the Long just for like a second or two the controller. I'm sweating Looks good. Yeah, that's Yeah, you can get Maybe funny if you went to like some bad doctor. Over here, there's like a hand print. I mean, it's like, oh.

Oh my God, like where was this? Thailand. If you went to some doctor who wasn't very good and it was like, all right, we fixed your penis and we removed the snake or whatever, blah, blah, blah. But like when you look at it, they actually so, like they couldn't distinguish what was penis and what was snake.

So it's like, he has part like snake and part penis. Oh, that would be amazing reptilian looking that would be amazing It's got like it's got like scales on it, you know, and it's like things at the end of it And stuff or it's just the outside cover so like whenever you get out like the mouth just opens and the penis comes out the mouth God Predator once a year. There's just some creates a bigger penis. Yeah. Yeah. She's crazy. Bigger panace. As it grows, right? Like as you get an erection. As it grows, it sheds its skin. See that guy woke up that morning. He's like, this is going to be a good day. Everything's going to be fine until it wasn't. Well,

This is gonna be a good day. Everything's gonna be fine until it wasn't. Well, but isn't that an old like, that's an old tale or whatever of either alligators or snakes coming up to the toilet? I don't know, they did it in porquies. Right. Yeah, rats, also. Well, I don't know if it's coming up from the toilet

necessarily or it was just in your house and it went into the toilet. Mm, right. I feel like that's more plausible in the restaurant. Well, things can come up from the toilet. Yeah, I mean, the drain. Right, because it's up from the toilet. Yeah, I mean the drain. Right, because it's mostly air back there.

Yeah. It's really just like water at the very end where you see and then it's held up because there's just a bunch of air back there. I'm saying like both are plausible. Yeah. For sure. I don't think it's like an old wives' tale.

Well, I know bugs, like my apartment come up through the drains all the time. What? Yeah, sorry, I didn't want to tell you. Why haven't you told me this? Because I just didn't want you to know what kind of hey surprise great never coming over. It's an old building Are you gonna? Oh, sorry. No, that's all I had to say. I've got a like a couple of security cameras in my home that And what the other day at night in the middle of the night like there's motion it sends you an alert so like I woke up One morning and I looked and it was like,

huh, there was motion at 4 a.m. That's really weird. And they've got night vision so you can see grayscale and kind of see what's going on. It's like, what happened at 4 a.m. and I click on it and I'm watching and then all of a sudden this giant bug flies right at the camera.

Oh! Oh! It was like terrified. It was like, what the fuck was that? Is that still in my, is that still downstairs? Like the whole day I was freaked out, like lifting everything, like, what is it? Is it in like fast motion too?

Cause like it doesn't, your surveillance system records in like every other second or whatever. So it's like over there. No, it's, it's got a pretty good frame rate, but it was just moving so fast. I mean, it was, it was shocking. I'm terrified of bugs. It is probably the, it was shocking. I'm terrified of bugs.

It is probably the worst place to live in Austin being terrified of bugs because there are some weird looking shit here. Back at our office in Ralph down South, you know, the office we were in before this one, the alarm there would just always go off. I don't know what it was but like every day it was a different reason. And there was one day went off. I don't know what it was, but like every day it was a different reason.

And there was one day, went off at like three in the morning and then I remember Gus got in and he like logged into our security footage and you couldn't figure out what had happened. And you were just sitting there just watching it like frame by frame by frame and you eventually just saw like a rat just like run by like one of like the shells.

It was like we realized we had like a giant rat Investation we had no idea Six six yeah, yeah six six. That's your house. Yeah, I was just a footage. Oh My god, it looked like a bat. That didn't look like a bug. Yeah, that's that's why I was terrified Like I think I almost dropped my phone. I was looking. I was like, what? That's why I was terrified. I think I almost dropped my phone. I was looking, I was like, what? It could not amoth, is it?

It looks like a moth. I don't know. Trust, I framed my frame, analyze this shit. It looks, yeah, I don't know. I don't think it's a moth. We were shooting some stuff outside for day five, and there's some actors and actresses from LA and crew from LA who aren't, as they don't know,

about Austin's quirks and stuff. They were shooting stuff outside at night, and they see what they thought were birds above us going around and making these little noises and stuff. Look at all these birds chirping and stuff. It's so weird because it's like 11 at night. I was like, don't tell them it's bats. Don't tell them it's bats. There's two dozen of them when we're shooting out.

They're probably about 30 feet above us, but pretty close. Well, they do swoop down, right? Well, they do if they're trying to mess with you or they feel threatened or whatever, but there's a lot of bats. I was like, yeah, sometimes a bird just come out at night and it's crazy. Let's go through this scene again. I'm trying to distract them. They just filmed this like five more times real quickly.

Real quickly because they knew it was, there was some people that they knew. Have you told them since then? no they probably know now but it's jokes on you so I had a phone into a meeting a couple days ago I got a frantic phone call from Paula and she was like I'm locked myself in the bedroom with Penny there are birds there are like so many birds just flying around our apartment and she's like terrified. And I was like, okay, okay, okay, I'm like coming home. And I thought, you know, these must be like,

I don't know, maybe they're pigeons, there's huge birds, maybe they're aggressive. So I went into our studio and I grabbed some protective eyewear. Cause I was like, if they're aggressive, they're gonna like, they're birds. You're such a dumbass. No, I mean, they go for your eyes. Yeah, if they don't want to leave or if they think I'm a threat Because I mean I was planning on getting a broom and you know broom in them just a bird come back you just chasing them punch in the beak

So by the time I get there she'd already left and she left like the dog locked up and I was like all right I think imagine she repelled out the bedroom window Yeah, I mean she was picked out because she called the apartment complex, she called 3-1-1. I like that she abandoned Penny. Yeah, animal control. Yeah, she totally abandoned. Penny can handle.

Animal control was like, I'm sorry, we don't do birds. So I get there, birds are in animals. Wait, what? And I'm like, outside the door and I'm like, one, two, and I open it and it looks like all the birds are gone, except I see one still there, and it's like a tiny bird that's probably like two inches tall,

just like hanging on one of the lights. It was like the cutest, smallest thing in the world. And then you broomed it, right? How'd you kill it? I broomed it. I just walked by it and it just like flew out, and I was just like, that was, just some people have just such crazy irrational fears. Yeah, like I protection on to deal with a bird. I didn't

know man. Have you seen birds? One time. It wasn't a documentary branded. Well, but those were real birds. They trained them to attack people. One time we had it and then they had a kill all the birds. Did you think you had a trained attack bird in your apartment? All I was saying is you don't know you you're gonna get attacked by birds until you're attacked by birds until it happens. I just thought there was just like three giant birds. You're not gonna be attacked or you're gonna be attacked. And I don't know what she like maybe there were hawks, falcons. You're gonna be the weirdest fucking old man in the world. I don't either, but if they're aggressive angry birds, they're gonna go for you.

They're gonna go for your eyes. It's true, because they look like eggs. That's what was outside the program. One time we had to film something with Zach and Zach Annner, and Zach Annner is deathly afraid of birds. Just all small animals. All small animals, but anyway, we had this whole thing set up, this whole scene set up, blah, blah, blah,

ready to film, and Zach wasn't there, and Chris and I were like, where the hell is Zach? So we call him, and Zach answers, and he goes, oh hey, I'm really, Zach, you're supposed to be on set like 10 minutes ago, where are you? He was like, I'm trapped, and we're like, what do you mean you're trapped? He goes, I'm trapped in the stairwell of my apartment

because there's a bird in the hallway. And we go, oh shit, because Chris and I knew like if he's trapped by a bird, this is this bad news. So I go over there and sure enough, Zach is hiding in the stairwell because there's a little sparrow in this hallway. So I go, Zach, what can I do to get you out of this apartment building? He goes, well, maybe if you just, maybe if you kill the bird or whatever, I'm not going to kill the bird, what do I do? He's like, I just don't wanna see it. So I go, okay.

So what I did is, I went into his apartment and I grabbed a sheet, right? And what I did is I draped it over Zach and dragged him out into the elevator. I dragged him, not in his wheelchair. I had to drag him on the ground. So it looks like you're dragging a dead body. It looked like I was abducting Zach.

And he was like, he was basically screaming the whole time because he's afraid of the bird. And I threw him in the elevator without his wheelchair and pressed down. And then I went and got his wheelchair. But basically, he showed up in the lobby, lying on the floor of this elevator. So we wrapped in a sheet like this,

and then eventually got him to set. But he was, he'd rather be dragged across the floor Like basically kidnapped then deal with a little sparrow, but I think kidnapped was one of the categories on porn hub Yeah Also wheelchair Also not topical. I'm sure there's plenty of rap and sheet porn. That's already been made Well, I know there's a lot of porn where people wrap people in latex and suck all the air out. Yeah.

You've seen that kind of thing. It's really good. But your body's got a breath. They put a little. It's really bizarre. They put a little mouth hole right in the latex. Like breath. They still look like she's.

They can keep me in colachi. Exactly. Like a beautiful. It's everything circular. It all comes back around. You're the sausage. The latex is the bun. Let me do on that note. Please do.

Please do. On a reminder, this episode of The Rusty Podcast is also brought to you by Crunchyroll. At Crunchyroll, you can get unlimited anime, manga, and drama titles. The newest episodes are available as soon as one hour after air in Japan via Simulcast. All episodes on Crunchyroll are ad-free, professionally subtitled, and in 1080p HD. You can watch Crunchyroll across all devices, Xbox, PlayStation, Wii U, Roku, Android, and more. Crunchyroll Premium is usually 6.95 per month, but it's yours for free.

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Yeah, I see a lot of people watching anime over there. It's cool to see Ruby like be with them in top five anime's not crazy real because it's like I Know there are amongst like all the like legitimate Animes that are pretty much I know but she's cool like our shows up there That's something that you actively participate in yeah, that's how was when we first got our stuff on iTunes like the movie Not the music, but it's it was like really surreal to just see it there. Yeah, it's like it's like you feel like you do the system like really surreal to just see it there. Yeah, it's like, it's like you feel like you do the system.

Do they not know? Yeah, like when the Ruby soundtrack came out, it was like up there with what like Drake and- It was number one for a couple of hours. Yeah. Like the number one soundtrack. It was like Drake and Beyonce and, you know, Ruby was right there along with them.

It's really really cool. I like to think that like Beyonce or Drake were looking at iTunes and they're just like, what the fuck? Fuck. Yeah. It was a really cool. I like to think that like Beyonce or Drake were looking at iTunes and they're just like what the fuck? Yeah, the picture. Yeah, the picture of Drake looking all sad. Have you seen the Beyonce extended? The lemonade thing? I haven't. I feel like I'm the only person on earth who has the nerd lemonade.

It was on HBO for like 24 hours and that was it right? I don't know. I don't know how Paul was watching was watching is it was really really awkward because it's all about how Her husband was like cheating on her which apparently is true right and I think that's what she was saying came from a true place And I like to think draighted know anything about it or Sorry Jay-Z my best So Jay-Z Jay-Z didn't know any Jay-Z didn't know he was married to Beyonce. What the fuck? Jay-Z didn't know anything about what she was making and she's like no, it's gonna be really great You love it. It's like you know totally fun and then you know she plays it and he's just sitting there is like

Are you fucking kidding me? It's like just about him and it's like extra marital affairs It's like it's a whole concept album, right? Or is it just a song? We put a lot of our stuff out there public that you know is out there but like that that's like a whole whole lot of our core. Yeah that's pretty balsy too that's awesome. I mean that's do you think it helps his image? I don't know if it helps his image. It helps her image I think. Yeah because it's a strong you know. Yeah she's like I'm not gonna take your bullshake. Yeah, fuck you. You know, yeah, but he helps, you help think it helps him because it's like a, you know, a guy who still can't get like, rope down. Yeah, he's like,

I'm like, it's not to like, obviously, you heard, I don't know about that. I mean, I would think that they're, I mean, I don't also don't know that much about it, but like, you know, I would, I would think that they're like, it's like the anti-wipped Like rat mogul. Yeah, but like, yeah Yeah, good job cheating on your wife No, I'm gonna buy your album now No, I think no woman can tie you down I don't want to tell you down. I think that's the tip, bro. Not even like we thought you sold out,

we thought you were just like this day at home that would know you're cool. I'm not defending it. I'm just saying that his, you know, you're right, bruh. You get to sleep with the hottest one on earth. It's not cool. I'm not glorifying it.

I'm just saying that it could be like closer to what I don't think he they looked at it And like this is gonna destroy my image. I think they probably looked at it from a practical standpoint and say this would be good for both of them I think they did it very strategically everyone Brandon thinks he was in the right. All right, move on Send to your other right or if you're not that's when you're not right. That's true. No the philosophy makes sense right until you're not So that I wanted to mention this earlier, we started talking about kind of funny live too. But then I wanted to also mention, you know, that we have other events coming up. We do. We have, let's play live coming up in a couple of weeks in June 17th and L.A. at the Dolby Theater. There's a couple of tickets still left. I think we're going to be

announcing programming soon. Maybe by the time this airs. I don't know. Don't help me with that. And that's going to be awesome. We're going to the time this airs, I don't know, don't help me with that. And that's gonna be awesome. We're gonna have a bunch of collaborations, a bunch of really cool stuff. I still can't believe you guys are doing it in the same theater as the Oscars. Yeah, that's ridiculous. When I first heard a while ago that we were doing a Let's Play Live, the Dolby theater, I heard Dolby theater, like the old shitty one in Austin, and I was like, isn't that the one that we said suck dick? And you pretend to be excited you're like oh well

I was like that's a pride to watch a show behind like the pillars that are always in your way you're like oh this is really great there were pillars in the theater that is not a Joe or pillars in the middle like right in front of seats that that's that's a shitty that doby theater it doesn't actually exist anymore no it was a doby theater in Los Angeles. So it's gonna be really cool. And then of course, right after that, early July we have RTX delivered by Pizza Hut.

July 1st to 3rd in the Austin Convention Center. And of course we're gonna have screw attack down, SGC is gonna be here as well. So it's gonna be a huge event. And oh, there it is. Oh God. Oh God. Dun dun dun. Well and oh there it comes out. It'll say what 30 days left? Something like that. There are still some tickets left. It's going pretty fast. So you still have an opportunity to check that out. The schedule did just come out.

So the surprising thing I did actually, I'm glad I thought about this. So VIP tickets for RTX are totally sold out. Those are done. But if you're going to let's play live, there are still a few left there. It's weird the way that works because that's ticket master. You have to buy a ticket and then upgrade. Right. And I think a lot of people don't realize that.

That's why there's still some VIP tickets left. So if you have a ticket to let's play live and you're interested in that, go back and look at your ticket master thing. There's a way to upgrade it if you'd like to do it to meet and greet those things. That's interesting. Are you going to let's play live, right? I don't know, I don't want to, but I think Bethany's going to make me. Yeah.

So, after the first one, you're like, I don't know if I could do it again. When I say I don't want to, it's because I'm already going to have been there for a while with E3 stuff. And then you're like a couple weeks away from me. Right, then it extends my trip even longer. How does that conversation go when Bethany forces you to do something? Uh, I say I don't want to do it and she says you have to. And she like your work wife. I don't like that term.

I don't like that term. I forgot about that term. That's an ugly term. That's an awful term. There are no passive aggressive threats. No, she can threaten me. She's just very convincing. I think it's a good way to put it.

Yeah. What can do it do? Oh my god, so I'm going. She's just very convincing. I think it's a good way to put it. Yeah. What can do with this? Oh my God, so I'm going to call her out on something. For the past couple of days, I've been sitting at my desk and every now and then, I have one of those Apple displays. It's kind of big. I've been sitting there working and every now and then, a fruit fly will land on it.

What the fuck is this fruit fly coming from? And I'll like swat at it and then fly away. And then in my mind, a few minutes later, I thought the same fruit fly would come back. And I'd look around like, do I have something on my desk? So I'm sticky, you're something. Right, no, nothing on my desk. And then this morning, I realized what it was.

Bethany had this little thing of banana bread on her desk for the past several days. And I looked over at her desk, and there was a cloud of probably a couple hundred fruit flies. Oh my god. So I was like, what the fuck is going on? I was like throw that away. She's like, but I still want to eat it.

I was like, it's covered in fruit flies. Pretty sure the flies have eaten half of it by now. And she's like, if I put it in the fridge will it be okay? I said, I don't care what you do with it. I said, just get it the fuck out of here. There are fruit flies everywhere in our office. She's the layer. I don't see the top layer. I just get it out fuck out of here. There are fruit flies everywhere in our office. She is the layer.

I don't see the top layer. I just get it out. I was so mad. Ugh. It's absolutely disgusting. So she, she, she throwed away. I don't know what she did. She took it out of the office.

Whatever happened beyond that is not my concern. There's no more fruit flies in there now. There are maggots on it and stuff. She's like, I just slow maggots. I don't, is her desk broken too? Yeah, your desk broke like a day apart. It's weird though, because every single person in this office who has the same model of standing desks that we do All of our desk broke within the same week and some people have had those desks for months before us weird

It's so good look who it is Your banana bread fruit flies me here, and she's surrounded by flies And she's surrounded by flies. The brain's in turn you in. Oh yeah, we've talked, you're fruit fly catastrophe this morning in the office. It's like a peanut character. What's the one that I've lost around? She says it wasn't a catastrophe. Yeah, yeah.

The new girl brought up banana? Who had banana, you had, you had banana bread for days on the, Bethany is, she's a genius. And they were at your desk. They were at your desk. I'm making Castro with my witness. No. She says no one to walk on his way home. They were at your desk. I'm making Castro with my witness. No.

She says no one to walk in the middle of it. She's throwing someone else under the bus. Is this correct? She's passing the blame. You can fire people for bringing in flies, can't you? Let's find out. I think you can. That would be an awesome way like HR brings you in.

We love your performance. You're a very nice person. A lot of flies whenever you're around. So, I don't know, before we get too far away though from RTX, I do want to just mention that we're going to have a lot of really awesome programming, including a big crunch time and a big day five panel that we're going to be, I think, showing some sneak previews of the shows on, we're going to be having the casting crew on and they're going to be really, really big and really fun.

So, if you're looking for a panel to go at RTX, I highly suggest one of those two. Yes, absolutely. They're gonna be incredible. I can't say enough good things about them. What are you gonna say? Go for it, Brandon. So, you know, fruit flies, gnats, what do you wanna call them?

Like, fucking annoying, right? And once you get them, it's like impossible to get rid of them. So I got one of those little traps, little, you know, plastic balls that have kind of like a upside down, or I guess it might be a right set up funnel, and you're supposed to put vinegar in it. What happens is the fly flies through the funnel to get to the vinegar and then it can't figure out.

Yeah, so I had one of those in there and all the fruit flies were attracted to it, but they were all just hanging out at the top, just like chilling, like 20 of them, and none of them would go in, and you're just sitting there staring at them, and it's like that scene and happy go more, where you're just like, get in the fucking hole. Like, I don't know what to do,

or how to make it any more appetizing, and get rid of them. Maybe you should throw away your banana bread. You can't do too fast, and they're too small. But if they're just hovering right there. No, they're just sitting, no, because if you smash it, you're gonna have vinegar everywhere. It's just, maybe you should have put sugar water.

Oh, or honey, isn't the same. That's so bad. You can't just have that. I was so excited. I was so excited. I was excited. I was excited. I was excited.

I was excited. I was excited. I was excited. I was excited. I was excited. I was excited. I was excited. I was excited. I was excited. I was excited. I was excited. I did I did sorry beer and then vinegar the fruit fly just who dumb to fly in the thing and brand is too dumb to get rid of Just a circular you think you just trape him. He just grab him with your hands

So speaking of traps. I saw maybe the greatest promotional Video ever for like a bug trap this company in Japan makes like roach traps You know like the kind that you put down has got got like sticky pad on the inside the road to get stuck scenes throw it away It's a funny concept. They made a giant version of it and then had like athletes try to run across it to show how Strong their their traps are also as an advertisement for the trap right? So it's like they got like a that's they got what a scientist a Sprinter and a sumo wrestler, you try to run across it. Sorry, we're gonna get it up on screen here. Whoa!

Wait, don't put your hands down. Yeah, I mean, just like, I mean, they get, invariably they just get stuck and fall over and then they have to come over and like, cut the clothes off of them. Oh, no! Oh, no! Why would he agree to this? Look at those scientists so dispassionate. Yeah, I think that's like writing the

The greatest the sumo wrestler Get to that part. Okay, it's that he cleared My sumo wrestler fucking fights it like he stops early, but man. He does not give up. Oh, don't get a stomach on him He's not big enough. Oh, wow. This is so stupid. His diaper's stuck. It reminds me of a,

with a guy, the Japanese guy who ate all the hot dogs. Like he was a hot dog winner for years after years. Kobyashi. Kobyashi, he had a competition against a bear in a hot dog eating contest. It's just like, it'd be amazing if with that trapping, they went and like sprayed them with poison too,

just to like show how effective it would look. They get stuck in the like, or they just pick it up and throw it away. They throw the trap away. How did they get the skin detached? I kind of skipped over it, but those scientists, they came with like a solution that dissolves the adhesive,

because they come with spray balls and they spray it, and then they've also got scissors, and they're like cutting the clothes and like the strands of stickiness on. You gotta be careful with those things though, because I want you to plug into a wall, and it's basically like a super bright lamp, and then right behind the lamp is a sticky pad, or a sticky piece of paper, and you know, head it outside, and it was working real well, you know, one fly, two flies. And then we left and I forgot to unplug it. So then the next morning I go out there and then it's like the elephant graveyard of flies. Just like, you can't even see the white of the pad anymore. And then I was like, oh, that's weird.

What, why is it moving? And I see like a swarm of ants have found it. And they were just like going at it. And I was like, and they were like ants all over the balcony. I was like, I didn't know what to do. So I just took a garbage bag, threw it in there, tied it, and left it there for like four days. And I figured it would work itself out.

It would work itself out. Yeah. It did though. I went in there, everything was dead. The amazing if you changed the ecosystem of like the world based off of one thing. Like you caught all these flies in your area and then the frogs didn't have anything to eat. So it killed off all these frogs and the snakes and like you were directly responsible because you left your stupid life. Everybody did that in Austin. Everybody did that. You would kill like 20 flies a day.

I think I've stumbled upon a solution to help wipe out Zika. This is a great premise for like an apocalypse movie where it's like everyone tries branded stupid idea. And it just destroys the environment. It destroys the environment. It just gets to like this global level where it's like, oh, now all humans are dead.

Is there a Simpsons episode about that? Where's our bashing snakes? Yeah, it's like, oh, we'll bring the girl is in. It's a butterfly effect. I think, well, no, not from the Simpsons episode about that? Was there a bashing snakes? Yeah, it's like, oh, we'll bring the grilison. It's a butterfly effect, I think. Well, no, not from the Simpsons perspective. Simpsons did have a butterfly effect, I think. Yeah, they did. There was one when they went to Australia,

I think, and brought the frog. And then there was another one where I think they killed the snakes. And, was that South Park? I can't remember. I thought was the Simpsons episode where they killed a fly on a dinosaur or something like that? Yeah, that's the time traveling one where Homer has the time machine toaster.

Was that one of the Halloween of the trailer? The tour tree has a portion. Jesus, all these fucking amateurs. I have a really bad story, which I think I've like briefly told on the podcast before. Go on. So I used to have a beta fish in college. What's a beta fish? It's also known as like a samurai fighting fish, I think.

They can't live with another fish because they'll fight each other until one of them kills each other. Awesome. So like you could do things like put a mirror in the bowl and it'll fight the mirror. It's really crazy. Anyways, I thought mine had died because it was upside down and it wasn't moving. And so I went to take it out and so I scooped it out which is like, I think I used to spoon because I was like like oh it's dead

and when I started to lift it out of the water it started thrashing around and fell out so obviously it was still alive But I have like a thing with fish where I don't want to touch it Also like I didn't know like if this thing was gonna like start thrashing around and like hurt me somehow I'm gonna fish if you have some kind of like cool. Cuz I thought it looked cool. Is that the fish? Wherever. like start thrashing around and like hurt me somehow. I'm gonna eat your own fish if you have some kind of like food. Because I thought it looked cool. Is that the fish, wherever? That's yeah.

It actually looked like that. It was that in like pink, blue and pink. And so, uh. The least intimidating fish I've ever seen. So it fell on the floor and was thrashing around on the floor. And I was like, you know what, fuck this fish. So I just put a container over it. And hopes that it would just like die.

Or the curse of the day and then I left my apartment and I came back that night and I was like, okay I'm gonna like scoop it up. It was still alive! Like 12 hours later! What'd you do with it? I just left it there longer. Did you quarter it more?

No, I just left it there. That's horrible, that's horrible, Barbara! That's how serial killers get their start. That's how serial killers start. What else have you been killing? maybe the little cat that makes too much purring Mound noises you put the little jar on it and leave it there for a few days Maybe if I think it's dead originally and it's not I fuck you for being alive. That's the saddest thing in the first place. I brought it in a little baggy

You couldn't get like a bag to scoop it up? I didn't want to touch it. Oh my goodness. I ruined my day. You just ruined my day. That fish thought his day was going to be fine. He was taking a nap. Yeah.

Upside down. The next thing he knows. Yeah. He's on the floor covered. And then he's like, let's there. And then he sees he's like, oh thank God. My owner sees me. She will protect beautiful blonde woman

But then I Picked up the next day Because I was like, oh, it's definitely dead by now And so I liked it the thing where you put the paper underneath and you scoop it up And I put in the toilet to flush it still alive. You're not afraid it's gonna find you. I Checked that toilet every day. You check your toilet every day? But you're not still. Yeah. I hope that's been swimming across. Maybe that snake we saw earlier was a guy's former pet snake. Maybe left it there to die. I just hope that fish is swimming somewhere

in the ocean right now. It's like eight feet long and it's waiting for you to go in like the Atlantic or something. It's just a picture of you and it's like swimming around Alcatraz right now like soon soon practicing just waiting to like ramming all the boats looking for you to not get on the glass bottom boat yeah yeah just look in you get this giant eyeball come to blink Johnny Bravo is that you that's what I name that fish oh I do also want to remind people if you're watching this episode of the podcast on YouTube that we originally broadcasted on Monday evenings at Ristief.com. If you'd like more information, you can click on the link below for a 30-day free trial. So I want you to do that and check it out and start today.

Great. I was pretty to do that. Yes. I've got a remanion. I'm killing it. I'm on the next level over here. Maybe we shouldn't podcast in the morning more often. No. No, absolutely. That's a bad idea. So then last week we released the we're talking about movies earlier. I wanted to talk about this. We released the segment we did with the lonely island. I got a chance to watch pop star. Oh segment we did with the Lonely Island. I got a chance to watch Pop Star. Oh, you got to see it really? Yeah, I got to see it. Like before we talked to them, so I can talk about the movie. And I think it just, it comes out like next week, I think, June 6th or something. Yeah. Then we was really funny. They didn't pay me to say that.

The trailers are great. June 3rd. June 3rd. It doesn't, and I think we mentioned this in the interview with them. It's like, it's like 90 minutes long. It's like, it's just the right amount of time. It's not like stretched out. It's like, here are a bunch of jokes. Here it's really funny and then you leave like, okay, that was great. That's awesome.

That's awesome. I mean, the trailer made it look really, really funny. And I love the Lonely Island. I've been a big fan of them for probably like 10 years or something. Or however long they've been making content. I remember seeing the Just Too Guys video they put out on YouTube when it first came out. Mm-hmm. Just you guys and we're having a good time The the intro there their show awesome town was really funny Like I think one of the first things I saw of music they did that and

Was stork patrol? You ever see stork patrol? It was like a They're like a looking at some cute girls or whatever, and then all of a sudden, they like push those girls aside, and there's this just person dressed up as like in a really shitty store, costume. And the whole thing is about like them wrapping and trying to like hook up with the,

nice. Yeah, it's awesome. It's really cool. That movie just looks dense with jokes. Yeah. It looks just like, there's a lot of really surprising came Yeah, it looks just like there's there's a lot of Really surprising cameos in it too like they've given away a lot of them in the truth But they're still like way more

People will also find out how our table broke if they watch yes, they can watch that See Andy Sandberg destroy the table I feel like I should make a gift out of that if him who's just like smashing it. Yeah, this table is like digital It's like so small and puny in this scene. Like it doesn't even look real. Yep, this new set, we worked on it a lot. Yep, we're kind of like, outside furniture. And we were talking the other day, but when we

composited Joe the cat onto the set, like green screened it. I actually go back to watch table. I remember thinking it looked really good. It looked good, but there's like something about it. Like I think he was too big. He was a little too big. Yeah, and then we cut away and then cut back

and he was just massive. Yeah. Also, since this comes out Monday, we would have released the camp camp trailer by now, too. Oh, nice. Which came out Thursday. So go check that out if you haven't seen it yet. I'm really excited for that show.

I don't know if you've seen any of the cuts yet of the episodes, but it's really funny. I saw that initial teaser we released back in April. Mm-hmm. And I've seen,, still I see people working on it, but I haven't actually seen it in motion other than the teaser. It's really good. Should we record any like segments responding to news, crazy news that could happen over the weekend?

Uh, Could you believe that happened? Wow, wasn't it crazy when the earthquake hit? Mama? I was going to say, well, because you know, you're going to San Francisco. Don't you save that. The earthquake hit San Francisco and Barbara saved all those people.

And she'll get murdered. She killed a fucking face. And then she put a bowl on there. I don't want to touch them, they're hurt. I don't want to deal with them right now. I thought they were dead. Alright, well we should wrap this up. So, thanks everyone for watching.

We'll see you guys again next week. Love you. Bye. I thought they were dead. All right, well, we should wrap this up. So if thanks everyone for watching, we'll see you guys again next week. Love you. Bye. Bye. Subscribe to the show to a newcomer in a more familiar way. Do you like apples? Example. Together in trepid hosts, Characans, Characans are free to deal with nothing to do with this

podcast. Analyze various unsolved and rooster teeth's cryptic podcast, f*** face. Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise specific, but short. Listen to show name on Apple Spotify or wherever you get podcasts. It's f*** face, a podcast. Subscribe or no.

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