Rooster Teeth Podcast - We are Not Doctors - #751

Episode Date: May 17, 2023

Join Barbara Dunkelman, Blaine Gibson, Andrew Rosas, and Armando Torres as they rate each other’s bathrooms and talk about why to never eat sugar free gummy bears, trust farts, Blaine’s birthday movie, and more! This episode is sponsored by Helix Sleep & RTX Austin! -Go to http://helixsleep.com/rooster to get 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows. -Go to http://rtxaustin.com to buy your badge! July 7th-9th  Already FIRST Member and need your Private RSS feed for this show? Go here: http://bit.ly/FIRSTRSS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers, Will Arnett and Anthony Mackie comes the new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motor-mouthed outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church, twisted metal, streaming now, only on Peacock. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Hey welcome to the Rister G podcast everybody's getting off I'm Barbara. I'm Andrew Dodging Strains. I'm Blaine and I can't what I'm seeing on camera and I'm the producer. No, no And I'm on and I'm Armando Oh, and I'm Armando. And I'm Armando, thank you.

Yeah, sorry. Our producer's off screen going, you got what you're going to do by the way. Yeah, it's like the tummy thing. You're jerking your dick off of what you do. Can you jerk and motion to go forward? Okay, and that's demonetized in five seconds. Well, I'm like, oh, I'm a different person.

Mine's a different motion. Yeah, you look like a DJ when you're doing your work. It's like, it's doable. Oh, man. Yeah, you look like a DJ when you're doing your social work. It's doable. Oh, man. I think it's more doable than the last one. It's like all songs in 1997, they just had to throw in little scratches and scratches and a little, yeah, the return table noises had to do it.

My favorite sound effects from the late 90s music, early 2000s, is a very particular one that you could hear in a certain Backstreet Boys song. But once you hear it in there, you're like, I've heard this in so many ones. It's a, K, K, K. I'm so curious with that. Is it like a sheet metal getting hit?

I don't know what it is. It's probably a drum of some sort. There's a song by the Backstreet Boys, I think it's Backstreet Boys or I'm saying Backstreet Boys, called Get Yourself a Bad Boy, I think. If you want it to be good girl, get yourself a bad boy. I don't know what the actual title of the song,

it's somewhere in there. We're gonna play it now. You at home will just tear along. Beep! Because of course DMCA, but right on. They have a part in that time that also goes, wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee. What instrument is that? That's true, somebody in the bag going, wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee of the synthesizer and the KCO keyboard. So they're just fucking hitting every sound effect,

like Drandran, the cars, electric like works, they're all just like, things that are ring tones now, I feel like my phone's going off when I'm listening to those music, the songs, because it's like, and you're like, what the fuck? KCO is the cheaper version of a Casio. Yeah, you said KCO and Andrew and I locked eyes and went,

that was wrong. That's all right? No, it's a Casio. You said Casio and Andrew and I locked eyes and went, that was wrong. That's alright. No, it's Casio. Casio. Yeah. I just fell asleep. Casio watch. C-A-S-I-O.

I do. Oh, that's, I love those instances and things like, I've only read that. I've never said it. So I've never heard it. When would you have heard, to be fair, like, if you've never heard Casio, when occasion would you have a chance to hear it? You also think it's Casio because there's only one S. That's, right?

No. If it was like two S's Casio for sure. Casio. Casio, all the S's. I would think the S's would be Casio. Ultimately it's a Japanese company, so I'm sure that they actually pronounce it very different than how we say it to.

There, yeah, Cach is definitely a syllable in Japanese. So it would be Cachio? Casio? Cachio. Well in America we say it to their yeah, Ka is definitely a syllable and so the Ka, Kacio, Kacio, Kacio, Kacio, Kacio. Well, in America, we say it right. It's probably Kacio. I tried it's Miller time, baby. I'll tell you. We'll start time. Shut up.

Shut up. We're cheating it for the. Or for the hammer. Well, no, Corona time was 2020 to present. So, no, not according to the fucking. It's over, baby. Yeah. Oh, that's right.

I'm in Texas now. It's done. No, no, no, no, no. It's in DIMIC. The CDC said it's fucking hey. Even though more people. No. No.

You just turned to me. Because you had so many times who fucking cares. Andrew's still the golden boy. He's gone the whole thing without getting it. I didn't have had it so many times. fucking cares Andrew's still the golden boy. He's gone the whole thing without getting it I had it so many times of you lost White And Andrew's zero times and I'm tempting fate right now just by saying this out loud. I know exactly Right exactly. I got it twice. I got it

The first time I got it was It was in the summer when the when the when the vaccine came out and we all thought that we were all like golden and nice and everything was good. And my friends, I was a delta by your hand, right? Yeah, but it was right before that was becoming like a mainstream thing that I really knew about it. Yeah, because I had just gotten vaccinated like,

I was like a month into it or something. So you know, I could feel the immunity in my room. The juices, the room, that body. Yeah, the super soldier serum, of course, and through your makeup. All the 5G. I felt so good, the microchip was at full charge.

Yeah. And then, 5G flowing through you. Everyone near me got a reception. I went to a friend's birthday party at a club in Los Angeles called Fiesta Cantina, which is one of the- Sounds like a place you might get. It's one of the worst gay clubs in the world

that I think. It's just, it's the bottom floor, which is completely closed in and there's people dancing. And then the top floor, which is the same thing, but there's like a one square foot of no wall so that you can technically be outside. And I remember just no mask dancing, drunk as hell, looking out on a sea of people, also not wearing masks going, I got it.

I'm just drinking out. Oh, hell yeah, I definitely. Drinking out of people's drinks, I got it. And then feeling bad like four days later. And then the second time I got it was right before I went to Europe, which was good because I was so afraid of getting it in Europe and then just being trapped there. Oh God.

But instead I got it and then started testing negative like two days before I was supposed to fly out. No, this fortunate. This is awesome. You think your immunity's really like topped off, you know, you're good to go. I think there's only two people I know who've never had it.

Andrew and Trevor. Trevor? Trevor hasn't had it yet. Yeah, I've had it. That means Trevor and I must procreate to ensure the survival of the human race. Oh, allow it. That baby's gonna have the perfect hair loss.

Yeah, I think it's in the real. Yeah, no, I never gave it to Trevor when I had it back in December of 2021. Oh, shit, my girlfriend hasn't had it either. She hasn't had it either yet. Yeah, that's wild. Do not think about procreating with my girlfriend. Don't even fucking do it. If anything, I feel like those of us that have had it more than one should be procreating

with each other because we made it out, right? We live, right? Oh, right. I know. We live, right? Oh, right. Right? It's magic moment. It's magic moment. There's apparently a lot of couples though

where one person in the couple got it and the other one didn't, even though they were like in the same house or even in the same bed, whatever it is. There's some weird, so who's, somebody was telling me about somebody they knew that didn't get it, it hasn't gotten it yet. And like works in a hospital, like,

pull my hands. And worked in like COVID war during the thing and still hasn't fucking wild. I mean, there's, it's insane, so. There's gotta be some people who are just immune to it, right? Like, I don't know. I don't, maybe, I don't, here's the thing,

is I wanna put a big blanket statement on all of this COVID talk right now. We're not doctors. We barely know about the stuff that we do know about. But some of us are wearing glasses. That is true. Which means we're smart. I am, but just of English, so it's fucking worthless.

So, my PhD, poetry. God. Do you have a PhD? No, I don't. I mean, yeah, I do. Who's gonna check? You? Who's gonna know? No one will have any way to check.

We might be, there might be people that are, I don't know enough. What I think is funny is that I feel like when COVID first started happening every time I ever heard about somebody getting COVID, I was like, of course they did. And it was like a dirt, like I treated it almost like, like an STD. Yeah, like this person would go out and not care about trying to be safe. You would get COVID. Oh, that fucking trash. You fucking tramp.

You know, and now it's really funny because it's just so, so many people have got, like I got it my second time and I went from like, only gross people get COVID to being like, you know what, maybe I'm just a little fun, you know, maybe I'm just the smallest bit fun. Or maybe you're one of the multi-millions of people who interact with other people and happen to get a very contagious disease. Fun, that's what I'm saying.

Yes, exactly. Fun. I'm saying the same thing. I remember when, when, when, uh, uh, Blaine, you actually know, I was dating somebody at the time, uh, a mutual friend of yours and, and she was, uh, uh, what do you call, immunocompromised? Yeah. So for the first like year of the pandemic, I mean, I remember like, I didn't see anybody, I didn't go outside, I didn't leave.

I would go out shopping and then be like triple masked up and we would come back and disinfect everything that we got. The entrance to your apartment was one of those like decontamination. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This was the thing that like we did it once and then we, okay, I'm gonna tell you guys, we got- No one else is listening. Yeah, this was the thing that like we did it once and then we okay, I'm gonna tell you guys

We got no one else is listening. Yeah, fuck them. We got produce Like fruits and vegetables and then we were like Do we disinfect these two and so we like wipe them down? Like on the skin of the vegetables like Chorok's wipes and then went that's bad And then went to the sink and washed them with like soap and water. And then basically what was left was a bunch of scratched up ugly,

also probably bleach infused vegetables. Yeah, exactly. That we just kind of decided to have to throw away. Yeah. Trauma. I know it'll be healthy for me. Soaking these in a toxin. And actually now that I think about it,

I have done my own amount of studying and I've heard that drinking and eating bleach does cure it, right? That's right. Yeah. If there's just a way to kind of get the bleach in there. Yeah. And like just like, there's one person listening to this right now that believes that please don't ever.

That's not true at all. And just bleach. We actually don't ever, ever honor any curative. You heard the, we're not a doctor thing that he and just remember the beginning. We'll get statement. Yeah, double click that. No, not doctors, nor dietitians.

We actually did a, on cult podcasts, this other show that I helped make. We did an episode on where the guy that invented miracle mineral solution, which is what the bleached drinking is. That guy also was not a doctor. In fact, his only profession was being a treasure hunter for about 40 years. Wow.

Yeah. That's cool. Did he ever find treasure? No. Wow, even sucked at his profite. He certainly did in a bunch of farm fresh rubes that bought into his fucking bullshit. He did strike gold.

If you would, if you, if you're willing to take medical advice from Indiana Jones, then I guess bad Indiana Jones too. Shitty Indiana. I like how you went there. My mind went to Aladdin. Yeah. A little scam.

Yeah, he wasn't the diamond in the rough, okay? One jump ahead of the COVID. Hey, good, good, good, good. So I heard that something happened at your apartment today. Oh, yeah, I got a text message from one Blaine Gibson. It wasn't even, he didn't even ask me, he demanded that he be let inside of my apartment so that he could take a poop. Well we have to go back and explain how we got to here. All right. And it all. It's scratch. Yeah. How did we get here?

You might be wondering how I put here. So we got a message. It was just 2023. It was just our little group. And it's Tyler, the, I guess, producer or buttboy of the show. And he was like. Tyler, please confirm. Whatever you are.

He was like, hey, they're shutting down the water. So if you need to go to the bathroom before the podcast night, you got to do it someplace else. And then I started like sounding off because I was here and I was like literally about to go to the bathroom when I got this. And yesterday it was my birthday and I ate a bunch of terrible things because I don't normally allow myself

to do that. Do me a favor. List off the stuff that you ate yesterday that constitutes your terrible diet. Went to a D.O.T. French toast to eggs and holes, a bunch of poppies from my favorite breakfast place. And then I had two pizzas, two full large pizzas. No, they're like meeting pizzas.

A milkshake from dairy queen and some french fries. And then probably some other shit too. Andrew, can you confirm that I've eaten that exact same thing more than one day in a row? I can confirm that. So what you think is, you work day, multiple days. Why is this like a core of your honor? Yes, like a core of your honor.

If that is to be said, let it be so. You said it. Amen? Yeah. Yeah. So, but yeah, he said that, you know, we couldn't go to the bathroom here, but we could go to the Honeywagon.

And the Honeywagon is like a free standing bathroom. It's like a fancy portapod that you use on film shoots. And I went out there and it wasn't working. So I couldn't go in there. You couldn't make. Wasn't working. It did, like you also have to step, set. The water was coming out.

It wasn't going down. That's a bit dead. You have to hook those up to a water hose so that it can flush still. Mm-hmm. Oh, and it wasn't flushing? No, it wasn't. It was just all dry. Is it not just like a thing you step on and like a hole opens up? But it's still water.

You still need water. Water still needs to go in. It's like a Ghostbusters ghost trap. Shit. All the light and get everything good to suck in. I mean, like for piss. Yeah. Yeah, no, I was a little bit out there, but I wasn't able to shit in there.

Oh. As long as you don't mix the streams, it should be out there. Yeah. Nice one. Thank you. I was able to shit in there. As long as you don't mix the streams, it should be okay. Yeah. Nice one. Thank you. So, this is my body, I don't know if everyone else is like this, knows when a clean bathroom is around.

Like even before I know it, my body knows that there's a clean bathroom around. So like we'll start the process of like, oh, I'm at work or oh, I'm near my house. And we'll start the process of like, oh, I'm at work, or oh, I'm near my house. And we'll start the process of like working one up. Yeah. Or if you've been on vacation for a while and you come home,

you take the mightiest shit of your life. I mean, life changing. Check it off a to-do list. It's that substantial. To do do. Here's the thing, my body does the same thing, but it's so used to this being a safe space for taking a dump.

That's why I recognize that when you get tricked and to be a dump. That's why it's like, I recognize that like, when you get tricked into being like, hey, sorry, pal, bathroom's closed, it's like, I turned both keys, like this is happening, like soon, so I gotta figure out what the fuck is going on. Could I suggest something? I know you saw the story of what went down here.

Oh yeah. We're very close to some of the most amazing bathrooms at the Alamo Draft House in Mueller. Oh, that's right. They have the best bathrooms. And I could have skirted by the front desk to go up there too. You could just just gone upstairs. Yeah.

I was here early from my movie. I thought it started at this time. I'm gonna come back later. I was literally like eating across the street from there too. Yeah. I got some salads from True Green. So I had lots of fiber ready for Armando. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. So at about 207 PM, I get a text message from Blaine with zero context, no other text messages before this, where he says, let me shit near a partner. Pfft. And I just responded, for real. And he said, come on, bro, you owe me. You blew up my bathroom.

And here's where I take issue. I have never blown up Blaine's bathroom before. I blew up Ben's bathroom. And when I came over to your place, and then we went over to Ben's house, and then I shittin' his bathroom, not a joke, 17 times. You shit in mine, that was just the day of shit. Dia de los Caca, because you and we had Taco Bell.

I remember that. Why were you shooting so much? We'd Caca's like, I don't know, I didn't know. Why 17 times? I had Taco Bell. Yeah, but we'd also been, we were like, we were at a pool, like drinking and eating stuff and you showered at my place and you also shit there too.

I didn't shit there, I took a shower. I mean, I would wanna have my friends be comfortable enough in my place to take a shit in there. Noted, next time. Yeah. I'd like to catch that chicken in now, if I may may we all have a bidet and one of the toilets though I oh well I Fuck you you have more than one toilet

I've boom boomed in most of the houses of the people here I've pooped at my own house your house your house you put it on house Yeah, I put it at your house and I've done laundry at your house I love that house your place is so So nice. I love to poop there. I'll be with you again over the other night. If I finally saw my place. Nice and it. It's really good. I'm starting to realize that I have a tendency with people to do things that guests don't normally do because I was like, yeah, I came over to Blades House. I took a poop and I showered there.

Yeah, I pooped at your house. Remember when I came over and did laundry? Did laundry? And you're like, I took a shit at your house when I was there to do my taxes. Right. Yeah. Very strange thing.

I like having friends that feel comfortable enough to do that kind of stuff. Because it's like, why not? Like, you're my buddy. You can do anything. If you need anything, we're here for you, you know? You're like, providing. So unless you need a truck for something, then.

All right. But I have done, I have called all three of them. And you got, I need a truck now. You're like, can I use your G for a buck? It's also for shitting. Oh. Yeah. I first him to fix his car before we realized

it wouldn't fit my needs for a truck and then I would fuck you Just cast me aside. I want to I want to continue to the end of the story So I will say that on to the point of like I love knowing that people are comfortable enough to shit I When Blaine eventually did come over to poop at my house He he was like, oh, there's a problem with the door. I don't know how to lock it and I told him something that I take very seriously as I will never fuck with somebody while they're taking a shit. Pooping is sacred.

Totally plants. The muller ground. Yeah, it's the, it's sometimes liquid and it's the moment where you are the most vulnerable that you could possibly be. Oh, yeah. Your, your, sometimes, yeah, you're sometimes in pain. Your pants are literally around your ankles. It's an awful place to be, so I never fuck with people, but I also, I want people to be comfortable shitting

because, and I've said this on a lot of other RT podcasts before, I shit my pants a lot. I poop in public quite frequently. Oh. That's, the big story that I have is, I remember I was going to therapy. I had finally started therapy. Uh-huh. When I was like 19.

And on my way to therapy, I got a grumbly in my tumbling and I went, oh no. Well, if I could just get there, I don't know if I'm gonna make it, you know what I'll do? I'll fart and that'll release just a little bit of the pressure.

Never trust me. Oh my God. No, because the older I'm getting, I realize that the body is like a nuclear reactor. And what you're doing when you're farting is sometimes you're releasing the pressure. But sometimes you misjudge that and then you get a meltdown.

I was like, how many syllables nuclear had when you said that? Yeah, oh no, the corn, Paul Newman's gonna have my legs broke since it happened to her. I say that word, like a former president that... Nuclear? Yeah. Nuclear. There you go.

Nuclear. Nuclear. Nuclear. Nuclear. Nuclear. Nuclear. Nuclear. Nuclear. Newkiller. To me, we're saying it the same. We're gonna pull up in the chat here. Have you ever shipped your pants? As an adult, I'm not the same.

And who else would specify what shitting your pants mean? It doesn't mean you're taking a full dump in your pants. No, it doesn't. It doesn't mean just like a little bit comes out. No, mine's that's my definition. I haven't like the other. Who touches the clothing. Yeah, I was like, you're talking about like a shirt.

And I don't count a shirt as a group of your pants. I'm talking about like poop making contact with fabric. See to me, I feel like so many people do little poops throughout their life. It's like little deaths. You know how they say like you, a little piece of you dies and you become a new person. It's like that for your bowels too,

where a little bit of you shits and then you realize like you are dying as a human and your body is breaking down and not working as well. I think that I think people, here's the best way to put it. I think people get shit on their underwear way more than they are willing to it. Oh, 100%.

Yeah. So I don't count that as shitting your pants because what I did on my way to therapy when I tried to fart was I started pooping my pants and then at a certain point my body went, it's go time! And then just evacuated. Wow, it's a full sense of it.

It wasn't even just like the little piece that came in. No, no, no, no, this just train went express. Yeah. And it was all... To be fair, I was really sick. Like, I had... That's a good excuse. Yeah.

It was something wrong with me. I was very sick. I mean, that's why you were. Yeah, yeah, it was something wrong with me. I was very sick. I mean, that's why you were going to therapy. Yeah, it wasn't my body. I'm just sick person. I'm twisted. I'm choker or picking hot. I'm a big fan of the family guy.

But back to our journey today. This is like poop the movie. Like we're, we're, yeah, branching paths and it's all like you're providing a lot of context. I want to, yeah. I'll put it together, but basically I shift my pants, I've panicked, I pulled into a Ralph's parking lot, I don't know if you guys have Ralph's.

Yeah, it's like a croger or a chevy. Yeah, we have those here, but you know what I mean? That usually comes out the other end, but continuing. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I pulled my poopy underwear off, and then I couldn't figure out what to do. I aimed for a trash can and tried to throw it out of my car window and then it Just kind of with that and I and somebody else saw it and I went

In turn on my car and just took on and luckily again I'm still wearing like shorts. I'm driving on my way home And then I start to feel it again, but I can feel the beginnings of it and I know I'm not going to make it. So I pull over at the only place that I can find, which is the liquor store, and I walk up to it. And for some reason, because it's like 11 in the morning, this liquor store isn't open.

I don't know who's not open to serve. If you serve alcohol, open it at 6 a.m. That's when I'm awake. And so, I try to get in. I can't, I look around, there's no other places, I look for like a bush, I can't, so I go off to the corner as close to the dirt path as I can and I poop, I put my pants down, I'm gonna poop into the dirt path and I finally felt so good and so relieved. And then I kind of sighed and looked up and I realized I was making eye contact with the security camera

Yes, I wish we could get our hands on that What a watch my point is that when you go through that yeah You realize that pooping is a sacred right that you are even a right, a blessing that we are given. I mean, totally blessed to have indoor plumbing, toilet paper, rooms dedicated to it. It really is a humbling human experience. I don't know, maybe I've told it on this podcast before, but last time I was in Portland.

Portland's like an hour away from the beach. It's kind of wild that you're like in the city, and then like just an hour away, you drive through the most, and then like, in just an hour away, you drive through the most beautiful, pristine, gorgeous, verdant forest, and then you're at, in Tillumook, and then you're at the ocean. It's gorgeous, beautiful, unbelievable drive.

Last time I was there, I drove to the beach and had some lozenges, some like, little rica lozenges. And just like, had a couple, because I was like, you know, don't want oral fixation, helps me when I'm driving unfamiliar places. So I had a couple rica lozenges, and I'm like, what a nice day at the beach. I go to see the water, do a little hiking,

walk around, take my painting stuff. And I started feeling like, not great. And started, stuff started moving. And I look on the like, and I was like, looked at the Ricola packaging and I was like, oh wait, are these sugar free? They super were sugar free. And the thing about sugar free stuff that has like artificial out sweeten like sugar alcohols in it

is if you have enough of them, they make you wildly shit your pants. Like they make you stumb your cart no idea. So bad. So cool. Look at the reviews of Sugar-Free gummy bears on Amazon and all the one-star reviews. It's elicid, if they do.

You know, truly, all the reviews are, yeah, all the reviews are like, I turned inside out from shit in so much because of this thing. So what happened was, so reviews are like, I turned inside out from shit and so much because of this thing. So what happened? So I was like, oh, and like, I don't, I'm like, okay, I just need to make it back to Portland. And then I realized like the drive through,

the drive from the beach to Portland is nothing. It is literally national forest. So I am white knuckle like flop sweat. My body is shutting down other functions to keep myself and not shitting my pants Holy heaven is my canvas for paintings and that's how he made a million dollar paintings. That's right. I'm an outsider artist now But truly the drive to the forest just like okay, is there like a any kind of bad just yeah sweating like just turning off Other things just like okay. I don't. I knew my family's names anymore. I forget when my grandmother's voice sounds like

just started losing other things about my body. Two keyfers here in my pants. Folks, I made it back to my Airbnb. Wow. And it was, that is impressive. That is impressive. I mean, talk about photo finish. Unbelievably close call.

Did it kiss the pants as you were taking them back? Yeah, I knew. No, like, it is the pants. So what do you think you're fucking better than me? No. He held it in. This was like last year and it haunts me to this day. I have footage of a me coming home from Waco.

I did a camping trip outside of Waco and that's about an hour and a half to our drive. And it was peak pandemic, so nothing was open. There were no bathrooms between Waco and Austin. And I went back and watched the security footage from my garage of me pulling in. And I had undone my pants to relieve tension on my waistline.

And like the walk from the car to my backyard, I was like, yeah, I was the saddest thing I've seen. Tyler sent us the review of the Sugar Free gummy. Yes, it's a one star review. It is so good. It's from Luke, a full story. Yeah, I'm not gonna read this all out, but I'll read to you the title of this,

which is, see you in hell, Harry Boat Sugar Free gummy bears. It is, I mean, look at truly. That's, that is paragraph. J.R.R. Tolkien is, I mean, look at true lads. That's, that is paragraph. J.R.R. Tolkien wrote, yeah. I just wanted to read one line. Please. I burst into the restroom like the cool aid man. And behold, the handicap stall was empty.

Sun rays from the adjacent window shone upon it as if it were a gift from God himself. It took me less than 0.5 seconds to undo my bell buckle, pull down my pants and finally relax my weary butt ox upon the toilet and sink. See, this is, I'm building something in my head right now. It's not fully formed, just like what I'm doing in my stomach.

But I've realized a key moment, because Andrew, you saw me do stand up. I have a bit about shitting my pants. I actually have several bits about shitting my pants. And the curse of that is that after you do that, people come up to you and they tell you like, oh, let me tell you about the last time I ship my pants. And in every story, there is the moment

that you realize it's coming. And you become a feral animal. Oh yeah, you are no, no. No longer human. You have one priority in mind. It's where like, what is it? It's a fighter flight or? No, no, no. I'm thinking of like David Zazloff's hierarchy of needs.

What's it called again? David Zazloff's hierarchy of needs. David Zazloff's hierarchy of needs. It's a haunted content. It's a scripted content profit. Yeah. Yeah. Cancel cartoons, cancel cartoons. No, no, no, don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on.

I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on.

I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on.

I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know like one is that. I want to study that moment because I've seen people do unbelievable things. I've seen people become like debate level people of like I've done that where I've walked into 7-Eleven and they've been like, we have no public veterans. And I'm not proud of it, but I've told an employee like, man, I'm gonna shit.

So we can either clean it off the floor or I can do it in the bathroom. Ooh. I don't want to be an asshole, but I can't control this and- I can't control my asshole. Yeah, give me a bag or let me in there, please. And like, yeah, you become a different person.

I don't know why anything. Oh, bye, oh, bye, I'll buy a full ticket again. No, that's always my first go. I will buy a hundred dollars worth of stuff. Yeah, not only does the Maslow's hierarchy of needs pyramid become a square that just says, ah! But you start going through the stages of grief

where you're like bargaining. Yeah. You just start going through all the stages and steps. And yeah, there's a moment where like, yeah, I've seen that too. And even in my own eyes, where it's just like, a glass goes over people's eyes and they become like a shark. Like it's eyes and they become like a shark.

Like it's just like life is like a dog's egg. I call it shit-shocked. You get shit-shocked. Creedin starts playing. Yeah. Shopper noises. A good friend of mine. I won't name her name just in case.

I'll let her tell the story if you've ever. You just cut the list out by a lot though. Well, she doesn't work here. Okay. But she was driving with her boyfriend, driving home from like, they were out of town somewhere. And she realized on the highway, like, I need to shit. Really bad, but there was a lot of traffic.

And so they finally get to a Starbucks, really pull off. And she goes in the Starbucks and like, goes straight for the bathroom, door locked, and there's an old woman waiting to use the bathroom. Like, I really pull off. And she goes in the Starbucks and like, goes straight for the bathroom, doors locked, and there's an old woman waiting to use the bathroom. Like there's a line. And she's just like, uh huh, trying to make small talk to this person who's like, this friendly old lady is like, oh, you know, I'm just waiting in line for the bathroom.

And it's a really nice Starbucks in this area, blah, blah, blah. And she's just like doing the, uh huh, like, uh huh, yeah. Yeah, she's shit-shocks, she's got fucking full face. She's frothing doing the, uh-huh, like, uh-huh, yeah. Yeah, she's shit-shock, she's got fucking full face. She's just frothing at the mouth. She shit herself while waiting in line. Cause she just couldn't hold it in. So she was just like, uh-huh.

This is happening. It's happening. Like, obviously not saying anything to this woman about it. But fully just trying to make nice small tug with this person while simultaneously cheating herself. Can I take a guess? Yep. I feel it.

She would be probably totally fine. Sure, but you want to make sure. Sure, of course. Yeah. So that brings me to my next thing is like my first piece was shit shot. But the other one is like I've heard people tell stories about almost shitting themselves like you did. I would say that you're a pretty optimistic person.

Like when I look at you, you're very nice, you're very goofy, you're very like optimistic, and you told that story of like barely making it. And I feel like the people that barely make it have a great outlook on the world, and then there's those pants shitters. And the moment you feel a full load in your pants, you go, there is no God. The nihilism washes over the cynicism takes hold. We have been left here

of our own devices, a god-long dead. Nothing exists except for pain and harry-boast sugar-free gum. Is it the same place. Fucking awful. Also, I was traveling with a comedian, a bunch of comedians actually, and they had bought sugar free gum in the bears because they were trying to watch their their way.

And I didn't know about the sugar free thing yet. And so we were just fucking housing on the still vowing and more than one way of being a weight loss. Absolutely. Yeah.

It was fucking clean you out, yeah. It worked. It was a little fucking clean you out, baby. And so we pulled over to a place called the Black Bear Cafe. And we've just now been condemned. Yes. Well, I went in there and I was like, something. The incident of 2022. I said, something's wrong.

And it's just not when you want to hear when you're walking into a bathroom. I walked into the bathroom when I started pooping and they were like having their meal and I had to poop for maybe about 20 minutes. And eventually I hear a knock at the door and I go, but it's also, it's like a bath, like a shared bathroom.

Like there's multiple stalls. Oh, like you're not the only one taking up. No, no, and I'm the only one pooping in there. And somebody comes in I hear this poor woman's voice she goes hello sir, and I go Yeah, and she goes um Are you okay? Oh Christ there's been complaints oh

Like the smell or the sound or both did not specify she just went I wanted to check and then I hear the door closed and I feel like shit that is No, no! Like of the smell or the sound or both? Did not specify, she just went, I wanted to check and then I hear the door close and I feel like shit. That is my worst nightmare. His other comedians paid her $50 cat. Oh my God, that fucking rocks. To do that and I felt so bad for her

because she's like clearly in her mind she's like, I'm not gonna do that to another person. Would it really be the $15? Like clearly in her mind she's like, I'm not gonna do that to another person. What do I really need? The 50 bucks. And it brought a whole new context to the pain in her voice. Like, there's been complaints. Oh! That is a fucking S tier bitch.

That is so good. You're fucking blood money or shit money. There was four of us, one of them paid, they, one of them paid her $50 cash to do it, and then she was our waiter, and we all paid a $50 tip. Yeah, I'm really glad to have you. That's nice.

So even me. So I need to call it a genius, because it was very good. Someone in the chat earlier, when you said, I'm optimistic about the world, I look at, as the world is a pants half full. Oh, so I wanted to give them a shot of very good jokes. Very good, very good joke.

Very good joke. It's just a part of life. So Blaine went feral and... Because he really had to poop. Yeah, he's stopping nice. Normally we have like a nice rapport where we say things like, hey, I just wanted to let you know I had a great time

of your birthday party and then he says like he really appreciates me being there and like we're friends, you know? Yeah, yeah. And then that went away where he said, let me shit at your apartment come on bro You owe me I tell him it's fine to come over he comes over and then

in a in a In a thing I've never seen before because this is the first time you've been to my apartment a great apartment It's a good apartment. You called it a the ultimate bachelor Pat Mm-hmm, which hurt my feelings because I do wanna be married someday. Not in that place though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's where I'm slam and put. Yeah.

So. Close and ask grow left and right. Yeah. Sorry, I just love the, there's nothing I love more than a fucking look into camera. Jessus. Ah, yeah, yeah. Blaine goes and takes a shit in my house

and can't figure out how to lock the door. I sure am. It's okay. Ask me about my toilet paper. My toilet paper is the best. It's, I can confirm. How many ply? A lot. A lot.

Excellent. The amount of toilet paper I buy is illegal. It's technically a t-shirt on a cardboard roll. I don't know. These are these are shop towels. These are micro fabric. They literally cut it up. This is what me undies makes this toilet paper. That's how it's micro-modal. He has taken a shit. As he starts taking a shit, starts texting me a review of my bathroom. And here they are in order.

Status update. It's going great in here. Status update. You're what? Here's a capture vlog day three. So speak. Push number one. Then he goes, thanks for the Wi-Fi.

It makes it a lot easier to be here. Then he says docking points because no bidet. Oh, I thought it was going to be here. Then he says docking points, docking points because no bidet. Oh, I thought it was gonna be a different docking. That's what I thought it was. He said, I read docking point and I went, oh no. Just like docking, oh, you're like throwing your own.

Oh, god, no. I thought he was hovering over my shitter. Yeah, the poop is just kissing the water now at this point. He's doing that scene from Big Daddy where he can make the spit go out and come back up. Oh God. This is a gross one. Unbelievable sphincter control. Good TP luxury.

Doesn't pill in the butt hairs. Nice. We all of that. That's important. Yeah. Love these curtains. Is that satin? There's curtains in your bathroom. Yeah, I have Characreds. Oh, very nice. Characreds. Same like window. It's really funny. Andrew same char curtains. Oh Look at that. It's like a lovely olive drab green. You know, it is. It is

Charger phenomenal. No, I don't want to I'm embarrassed. Oh, it's from Amazon. That's it's a shower. It's like I look at it Hardly ever so yeah, it's a shower. That's right. It's a functional thing. No, it's yeah, it's a Amazon. Oh, that's a shower. It's like I look at it hardly ever. So I don't shower. That's right. It's a functional thing. No, it's a functional thing. It's not good for stop points. Cabinets are nice.

Lots of counter space too. Vulted ceilings helps with the smell distribution. Bad for reverb though. At that point, when I read it, I did hear... As it seemed, wow. I could have been on a soundboard. Yeah, at that point when I read it I did hear That could have been on a soundboard. That was a great. That was a good one. It's really good. Thank you. Take part sound Yeah, absolutely Massive mirror very cool again. Thought that text is going somewhere else Massive we love a massive mirror. Yeah, I will you know having been to your place

The my my and I I'm sure once it's all like you're all settled. They'll. I will, you know, having been to your place, and I'm sure once it's all like you're all settled, they'll get, I will offer one thing to you. Got to change out those daylight white bulbs. Oh, 100%. Should have died at the point on that. You saw my living room. I have the warm light.

Yeah, in the living room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can try to just swap them out in the bathroom, I, I guess, but just a tube. Yeah, I like I like cold lighting like that's like the in the bathroom. Okay. Yeah, I like it to feel clinical because for some reason it feels cleaner to me. Sure, like the white like the white light is purifying it. Yeah, because I had this one place that I lived in and it was like from the 60s and they had like warm light and just Smell just feel like piss. It's like this is the piss

Oh, man. No, my friend my friend aderic and Aaron have the best guest bathroom on the planet. It is It like perfectly like the perfect temperature. They have Non overhead like lamp lighting there, and they bought a iPod Nano with a dock and just play soft jazz music. Whoa! It is a fucking vacation. Do you know? It is so nice.

I cannot. It's their guest bathroom. It's downstairs, so I was like, I want to have a guest bathroom just to make it like this, it's like so enviable, it's fucking rocks. But yeah, like got a little out of the window and a little doc and like, that's all they use it for is to have in the guest bathroom to play like little jazzy tunes. It's great, you go in there, it's like,

Vince Corolli, this is so nice. It's like going to blow out this bathroom. It helps with the sound dampening too, right? Like, you know how like a lot of it? It runs inner fear. The days have the sound on them. Yeah, it runs upset onsack on your day. Yeah, yeah.

And I, like, love coming over to you and Trevor's house for game nights and all sorts of things. You have the tallest ceilings. We have very close friends. So any noise is just like, like, I remember going to the bathroom and you're placed one time coming out

and Gus was across and he was like, oh, good stream. Like, you like to get a hear. And there's no other noise going on, usually if we have people over like, there's a movie plan or a music on or something like that. You do have music a lot, yeah, yeah. I don't mean to detract from this conversation,

but Gus is obsessed with the stream of urine. He also commented on your stream. He's the office, right? He's competent. I remember we were doing something, we were filming something together and I went in there and I started pissing. And he was pissing Dexamany went,

I'm pissing like a young man again. Which is so funny. We actually made it so good. That's what I got this today, jail. For real, those kinds of comments. Good crime. We made a skit based off that interaction. But we, I don't think we released ever.

It was for squatting force, for recipes. It's still a... If you can find it, can you send it to Tyler and we'll debut it in your eyes? I don't think it's been edited yet. Well, probably, we had talked about like, we had some leftover STF stuff and we kicked around what we're gonna actually do with it.

It's the premise of it is it's a fake commercial for something called the volume maximizer. Oh, I'm not sure. You could probably imagine what it is based off a fake commercial for something called the volume maximizer. Oh, I'm not sure. And she could probably imagine what it is based on this conversation. Yeah. Well, it amplifies. So it's like speakers and stuff.

And I remember we were, he brought this idea and everyone clicked with it. We're all fucking laughing. And we were, at the point where we were like, okay, we know we're gonna make this. Let's start casting it. We need a person that's gonna be the commercial guy. Okay, Gus, that can be you.

We need the guy that comes in to make the other guy that's being intimidated. Has this ever happened to you? And then it's like a stronger guy comes in pisses and then we're outblast. He's got heavy piss stream energy. Who's the guy with the weak piss? Everyone looked at Chris.

And we're like, Chris, and we're all just like laughing, Chris, no, no, no, he got so self-recorded I'll record it I'm gonna go film myself Pete you'll see I'll show you I can see Chris's face now he's kind of laughing but doing this guinting thing and a little vein is coming out on his for yeah he yeah he's like roll up set by yeah. Yeah, man. And then on day of the filming, when she know it, Chris is just so busy. So busy. So busy. I had to get cast.

Oh, interesting. Interesting. Indeed. I love how. I think you guys just didn't cast Gus to be the weak streamer. And like you had to be the cool man. He had to have a weak stream.

I was, I brought my past. It was a very good performance. I was very proud of that. You look like you'd have a weak stream. Thank you. What that means. I love the fact that men can turn anything about penises into a competition.

Like the moment we're just like. Even the streams. Yeah. I, I, I, okay. I, uh, one time was peeing in a bathroom and, uh, somebody went, damn, your urethra gotta be huge. That's what they said to me because it was I was it's a tough stream. It's a good stream. Yeah.

It's like a fucking mad. I stream on a map. Exactly. Right. It's like someone put that thumb at the end of a water hose. And then my friend who was also in the bathroom taking a shit mind view. So like in the bathroom. In the bathroom. He he tunes in and he goes nah, his dick's just farther away. So it's easier. He's trying to imply that it's I have a shorter day. So it's higher up.

And that's why the stream is so strong. Because the momentum it's gained will. Are you sure it wasn't just implying that you're a tall guy? No, no, because he was trying to, what I'm trying to say is like, I watched him trying to work out how to make fun of me for having a little dick. Yeah, yeah. But he was like, it's cause the,

but the, cause the dick is high, cause it's higher up, cause it's shorter. He's doing Kevin Costner speech from fucking JFK. He's trying to like, show, like, triangulate why you have a small penis from the like sound of your stream. He's trying to solve the unsolvable math to make a tiny dick joke.

Yeah, exactly. I remember in high school, there was this one kid who tried to set records for how far away he could piss in the urinal. You can walk into the bathroom sometimes. And like in a boys' restroom and in like a high school, you got like a line of walls that are, it's presumably my high school, a line of walls school. You got like a line of walls that are, it's specifically my high school.

A line of walls are our stalls and then a line of walls that are urinals. You could walk in there and you'd see a door open from one of the stalls at a stream just coming out of it. I was gonna ask if anyone accidentally walked through at an airport. You got a pile. Like where's Kevin?

Oh, just a disembodied stream going across. He's like, I didn't know that they put it in a one. That's impressive. This has already been like the bluest episode of all time. So I'm just gonna pose a question that Barbara cannot answer, but I will ask the other gentleman. I'll answer the other gentleman on this podcast in the morning when you have to pee. But you also have morning wood. Yes. What is your move for do you wait wait, do you just have to, like, do you wait or do you, do you bend for, yeah! Okay, go.

Whenever the splatter goes, if you're close to the toilet, it's not as bad. Also, when you're doing this, this is Blaine Exercise Corner. You're flexing your thighs, so the blood flow takes it away from your cock. So then the boner will go away. Do you have to, like, like, imagine if this was your thighs, so the blood flow takes it away from your cock. So then the bone will go away. Do you have to like, like imagine if this was your penis. Do you have to like, like, bend it forward?

Yes, yeah, yeah. So part of the squatting position is it angles it a little bit better. Ah, yeah. I simply don't get erections in the morning. Because I am a man of honor. I guess I'm just built different, deeply unhealthy. In the morning I wake up at my penis I can barely find it. If you really have to pee, go ahead.

Could you jerk off? No. Or like, as pee gonna come out. Dude. This is the first time we've gotten to be in the house. Jerk off no or like as P gonna come out dude This is the first time we've gotten to be like no stupid. There's two Actually, well we have two I think I love it. Just like it could be anything like your mind rolling and dice Like it's a roulette wheel. It's like it's gonna be piss is gonna Generations though men have been like, put that word, a p-come from onto vagina.

And now we get to be like, no, stupid. Ha ha. It just becomes incredibly, like it's a different, it's a weird pressure. It makes it harder. It's basically why I pee before, yeah. It's a success. Yeah, before sex.

No worse feeling than having to piss during messing around. Yeah, it's like you're like, Oh fuck, like it's interesting. No, apparently for, I don't know if it's the same for men, but for women, if you do have like a full bladder, you do have to pee and you orgasm, it could actually be a more intense orgasm because of the pressure.

Really? Maybe look thirsty. What's your drink? Can I get you a thing? Water? Water? Water? It's also really healthy to urinate after sex.

Oh yes. Don't want to see you guys. So, if you already have to pee, you got more urine to come out. How blue can we get? Pussy slay. Alright, we got the Guss approval. Okay, that was got the gossip approval. So I was a guest approval. I'll tell you one of the weirdest things that you don't think

happens and then it happens to you and you get really upset about it. It's good happen to you. After you're flowing around, whatever, and you ejaculate. Yeah, I was gonna call it release. I was gonna call it white throw up from the PP area. Right. Because I'm a word poet. Mm. I watched the impoetry. Yeah.

Anyway, it's better. Yeah, after you splatter that cum, rubs up for rubs. Some of it can get, some of it hangs back in the urethra, like most of it's friends are gone, and it's just like, nah, I'm just gonna wait here.

And then later, you'll try to pee and it's basically, it splits the stream into two and then two pee streams come out. It's fucking horrifying. It's the word because you don't notice it for a second and either it goes down or in the worst version I've ever had is I went to pee and it went boop. Yeah, and it's so fun.

Oh, it did it, it void the toilet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, just like I was straight under the seat or outside of the toilet. No, like truly, it's like wall trash can. Hit both. Yeah, yeah, fuck, okay. It's easier to stop it when you're younger,

but the older you get, the harder it is to stop your piss on a dime, too. Cause so when you notice it happening, go, oh fuck and then it goes. The brakes get real spongy. Yeah. You know what I mean? You're a little bit older. Why don't you then just like sit down to pee and shove it down into the toilet bowl

after? Well, sometimes it depending on the length of time. I don't have to. I don't have to. You're talking about the time after. We're talking about the time after. They don't have this't have to do that. I know that's the thing I'm gonna like the time. We're gonna have to do that after they don't have this issue. They do that.

Uh huh. If you have like that post coiled, uh, it's like a half bone. Half chuck. Yeah, half chuck. Chubbed up. And like, you don't want that because it's more prone to touching things, water, toilet bullseye, whatever. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I try to get all, everything that my body can secrete or empty, I try to get all done at one time. So like after I, after I ejaculate, after I, I come, I immediately run through the bathroom and piss, shit, throw up, I just got to get it all out. Do one, two, three, and four. All right. That's right in the morning, Andrew.

Baby, I gotta come. I gotta come, I gotta shoot so bad. Oh, please. Oh, good luck finding a title for this episode. I know. We are not, there it is right there. It popped up right where you saw that title. There it is.

That's actually a great title. That is very good. We are not doctors and don't watch this with your children. Man, they hate this. They're gonna hate this. I can't help it. Are you real? Yeah, I got pee, dude. Where are you gonna go? Honeywagging? Honeywagging?

Honeywagging, no. I think you're the back of your back in use. Good luck. They call the, you know, the onsen. What? He, but, Aimando wants another beer. He wants another corona. He wants to be familiar. Um, yeah, they call, they call the onsen bathrooms, honeywagging familiar. Yeah, they call the onset bathrooms, honey wagons, and then there are like the portapoddies that they have like on construction sites and they call them honey buckets.

And if there was anything so far from what it's actually, like if you didn't think, when you imagine as a honey bucket. Just the absolute could not be more diametrically opposed to what it actually is, like, oh honey bucket. It's like, well, this is all my nightmares in one place. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Actually, but the hardest, you know, it's funny,

because the hardest I've ever laughed in my entire life was in Jack S2 when they liked with Steve O. And in the porta potty on a bungee cord. Yeah, I almost vomited. I was vomited, I was laughing so hard. Goddamn. There's a... It's not so funny that like, I like writing,

I like, I wanna write on TV shows and write jokes and everything. It's still not as funny as the first two Jackass movies. It'll never be that funny. It'll never be. The time in your life, you were at the age you were at, probably when those came out, were like, it was probably at less stress. Of course. I imagine. Of course, absolutely. At least adult responsibility like, it was probably at less stress. Of course.

I imagine. Of course, absolutely. The adult's responsibility, so life was just a little simpler. A little simpler? There's sweeter. There is, you never get too old for baseline stupid humor. For example, over the weekend,

we all went to Blaine's birthday party, right? We went to go see... His driving movie theater. His driving movie theater. Yeah. His drive. We went to go see his driving movie theater. Yeah. Um, he's driving. He hosted a movie at a driving movie theater. Oh, you can be candid.

Blaine is a landlord. He owns land and he should be hated. He's also a cop. Yeah, he is also a police officer. Yeah, he has dressed up as a cop in a time. And he's not here to defend himself. So there's one fun house video where they asked us to dress up like cops and we did it. We all went, no.

Yeah. And then they were like, come on, it's for the bit. Like it'll be fine. And you were dressed up as cops for maybe 30 seconds of the video before it just cuts to us no longer dressed up. Wow, that's a nice ask. I was asked to dress as a cuck for a video. Oh, I saw that.

Yeah. I was chief cuck for a video. Oh, I saw that. Yeah. Yeah. I was chief cuck. For that Arizona circus. Arizona circus get. I played a, I played a cuck that was getting arrested. Remember. Yeah. It's a good sketch.

Never been more attracted to myself in all my life. Anyways. We went to, uh, You're here, Armando. You're here. Okay. Oh, it's warm. Oh, man.

Did you actually, it's vinegary. You can see the steam coming off of it. Oh. It's warm. Oh man. Did you actually? It's vinegary. You can see the steam coming off of it. Oh. It's apple cider vinegar. Yeah. It's apple cider vinegar. There was a moment where I was like, Oh, it's all over my head.

Oh my god. Oh, it spilt everywhere. Yes, it's real bad. Oh god. Did you actually go to the bathroom or did you just go to the bed? I actually did. But on the way there, I realized that we had apple cider vinegar

and I was like, I should pretend that I brought back a bottle of piss. I like how you did that. I did that, babe. It did you? Yeah, I was blue. I like how you also did that and didn't bring him the beer. Well, there was no beer.

God, yeah, that's strong as potent. Yeah. Yeah, that was a bad prank. Apple cider vinegar is very potent. Jesus Christ. I didn't realize it's gonna do that. I was in such a rush to like fill it up that I just spilled all over myself. Now I smell't realize it was gonna do that. I was in such a rush to like fill it up that I just spilled it all over myself.

Now I smell like... It's good for your hair. Oh, is it? You could like put it in your roots, yeah. Yeah? Okay. It's nice. I need that.

I'm not bullshitting by the way. That would have been funnier if I was though. It's like an exfoliant or something? I'm not a doctor. I'm not doctor. I'm not doctor. I mean, it smells like, it smells like someone fucked a kombucha in here.

It is. Yeah, that's for you. I'm gonna throw it away. Oh, okay. All right, Andrew, just you and me, were the only ones who remain after all this shit. I cannot keep it together. Absolutely, just clownish behavior.

Do we actually think how beer's in that fridge, Blaine, if you want to look. The fridge right there. That's in the studio. It's like, okay, here we go. While the boys are cleaning up, a phrase I didn't think I'd have to say twice today. Anyway, while the boys are cleaning up.

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that RTX 2023 is happening this July 7th through the 9th. RTX is our favorite time of the year where we get to interact with all of the amazing people that give us the opportunity to make content like this podcast. It's a celebration of all things Rooster Cheese with panels and special guests, community artists, cosplay, and so much more. There will be exclusive reveals, meet and greets with Rooster Teath talent, and special

merch available only at the event. We're changing up how the convention feels this year as well with plenty of interactions and amazing events. Very cool show floor, imagine a mini Epcot style convention show floor with different attractions and activations from your favorite Rooster Teeth brands all wrapped up into this summer camp theme. It's gonna be awesome. RTX is the summer camp for indoor kids with activities like face jams, rat and grackle pub, a red web escape room, a fuck face museum, whatever that's gonna be, achieve a hundred mini golf and even more cool stuff to do that we're saving for attendees to experience at the show.

You guys excited yet? I know I am, but I can't wait to see you at RTX this summer. We're looking forward to meeting all of you guys there. So head over to RTXAustin.com to get more information about the event and of course to buy your badge. RTXAustin.com. A better see you there. Yes you.

No, also the guy behind you, but also you, watching this video. Sound off in the comments if your parents had the garage fridge. That's my holy go on life. My holy go on life is to have the garage fridge. Dude, absolutely. Usually that's the like you have a garage fridge.

I see I aspire to be with a garage fridge. It's absolutely. Usually that's the like, you have a garage fridge. I see, I aspire to be with a garage fridge. It's usually the sodas, yes, the some frozen meat. Yeah, exactly. It's not like for a while. Some like guests are coming snacks, but it's usually like the beer soda, like drink fridge.

Cal, me. Mine has, I have canned sparkling water. I'll do gator light, which is like electrolyte stuff, but like for gay raid, like specifically for rehydrating. And then I also have pickle juice, which is a good way to create like pre-workout, like pump thing. Here, I brought you some of my pee. Oh my God, Armando!

You need to put the dust on her! Oh my God! That's! You need to put the dots on her. Oh my god. That's what healthy piss looks like. Oh no. No, Armando. Armando, I need to hold this on to this for the doctor. We, uh, I was just talking to Cameron about this. We did a shoot yesterday at the studio.

Mm-hmm. Let's smell. What was it, smell? Oh, God. Oh my god. It's that fucking, oh, that like? What was it smell? Oh, God. Oh my God, it's that fucking, oh, that like peak pandemic vodka hand sanitizer. Oh, God, I hate you.

Dude, this is a podcast of synths today. This is gross. A lot of smells. Gross cast. We did a shoot yesterday here at the studio, just for funsies. We like organized with facilities to use the area. It was all good.

But the water was turned off yesterday. And we, I guess like no one was really drinking water the whole day just to make sure like, we didn't have to use the bathroom. I realized we started here at 8.30 in the morning and finished at 4.30. I didn't pee once. Whoa.

And I think that's bad. Yeah. I think that's unhealthy. And I'm worried about myself. I pee once an hour. I mean, I think it's because I I'm worried about myself. I pee once an hour. I mean, I think it's because I go, I was intentionally trying not to drink. So that wouldn't have to pee very often during the day,

but not pee once in math. There is eight to four, you say? Eight to eight. Yeah, eight to four. Yeah, that's four. That's like eight. Eight am to four pm. Eight, okay.

And then I would have pee eight to four times. Yeah, that's what I thought I was saying is like that's the what's a healthy amount how many times I Throw up that graphic real quick One hour to once every two hours is probably no Well, like there there is an instance and this happens a lot when I'm camping where I'm out in the wild and I'm like setting up my tent or I'm moving shit around or dutch and I are out going hiking where it's like I realize as well, I haven't peed in forever and I feel like there's just something

with like you're in constant motion and your body is like sweating it out or getting rid of it somehow, you know? So maybe it's just being like, I don't know, you were so focused on all the stuff. I think we were just busy, yeah. If you get in the zone, sometimes your body has a, I mean, like I'm saying with like knowing when like your near, it knows when you're near a clean bathroom

and we've got time. Yeah. I think also if you like getting the zone, it will just like shut down processes that it would normally do. It's like, yeah, you're filming like, oh yeah, I guess it's been like eight hours and I haven't, God, it smells so much like

fucking vinegar in here. Yeah, I word. Yeah, it smells bad. It smells bad. It smells bad. It smells like like turn of the century cleaning in here. Yeah. word. My word. It's bad. I get to understand. It smells like like turn of the century cleaning in here. Yeah. I was just talking to someone about how like,

I don't like the smell of vinegar because my grandmother used it to clean everything. And so like, now I have that. I don't like can butchered because it really, it's just like, oh, it's cleaning the kitchen time. Which is, oh. I spilled teacum sauce. I saw some white shoes and I used my girlfriend

used vinegar to clean it off. So these also have vinegar on them. I'm just a vinegar boy. Yeah, but not recently, right? Like, like, like this weekend. Oh, okay. Well, they wouldn't still smell like it. The point I was bringing up before Blaine

saw rudely vinegar interrupt. He then also got you a real beer. That should have been the first thing you did. I've been your girl. I've been your girl. Thank you. There's nothing that will ever be funnier than baseline stupid crude humor, no matter how hard you try. We were at

your birthday party. It was at a drive-in. I rolled my window down as Wes was a photographer, was walking by to go like grab a picture or something and I went hey Wes, come on oh actually I told you, you said, hey, flag, flag, Wes down. I was like, okay, he's got something to tell him. So I was like, hey Wes, hey Wes, come here. And Wes was like, you know, being the friendly jovial person he is, like comes over,

leans in, what's up man? And I just go, and then I proceeded to do that like two or three more times throughout the night. Yeah. Just get him to come over to me as I go and every time it works. Did he laugh? He laughed every time. He laughed every time.

Everyone laughs every time. It's because it's funny. It's funny. Ferture funny. Body is funny. That movie, we watched Shogun Assassin for Blaine's birthday. And there were some scenes in there. I think you probably forgot existed in that movie, which when you're the place we were at,

drive and movie theater downtown, which means it was on top of a parking garage overlooked by apartments and office buildings that everyone around could probably see very clearly. Big screen. I think we had the biggest projections in there. Oh, yeah. Without question.

Absolutely. You also had the most child penis in per movie. Yeah. But you want one other movie do. Well, so Shogun Assassin is based on lone wolf and cub. And it's also got some other English translation like lone wolf and baby and cart or something. Baby and cart and river sticks. It's all these like, there's like six movies

that they made in Japan based off of comic book. And then America got their hands on the rights to it. They dubbed it and then they cut together like the best and most brutal fight scenes in one movie and they like strung together this insane narrative and that's show gonna assassin and that's what I showed everybody. Yep.

And yeah, I hadn't watched that since college and I was fucking, it was one of the first movies I got drunk to and I remember like the soundtrack and the action was like so dope. A scene came up and I remember like melting into my seat and I told Chris and I was like, I don't remember this scene happening. Yeah, it was, the characters get into like this little house

and like the father starts undressing himself rapidly and then undresses his son, who's what, four? Maybe, three or four. Three or four. Full child naked on the screen For all to see blame and then there's a scene with him like there's a woman's nipple right by his face and like the child's face Yeah, yeah, yeah, and his the child's response to this just just go fucking His hand look at it. Look at it. Which I think I was trying to figure out what was happening in that moment

I think he was trying to tell the woman not to kill his dad. Oh, I'm so nervous. Because she was picking up a knife and he was going like, badding at it, basically. I thought, man, this is me trying to read too much into cinemas.

Like, I thought it was this weird thing where this baby's mother died. This is the first sort of maternal thing that's happened to his baby. Yeah. And like, the baby remembers. mother died, this is the first sort of maternal thing that's happened to his baby. Yeah. And like the baby remembers. But me that way is what made her spare their life because they go like, we don't know

why she didn't go after me and my father. And it's like, maybe she felt human. And there was like just an incredibly human moment. But also who knows? Because it doesn't matter. Because they also had that full, can try to make it seen out. I've hear that,

so I was thinking about this, I was thinking about this, I guess it was last night, and a joke came to me, like it's one of the like late jokes, so it comes to you so after the fact that I was like, motherfucker,

well when they have, there's a scene in the movie where another assassin has the baby dangling over like a well. I was just saying, oh man that baby is well-hung. I was like, oh stupid jokes are stupid. Probably for the best that you kept that. Exactly. The part that I really do like is when I found out, when I found out later

when that started happening, everyone got really tense. Yeah. And I'm assuming no one more tense than you. Yes. And you were sort of like, oh God. Yeah. And you turned to your partner and we're like,

I don't remember that this was in there. And she told me something along lines of trying to comfort you like, I'm sure it's fine or something. And right at that moment is when I sent you a text message that just said, dude, what the fuck? So I mean, there were a few scenes in the movie that were just like, what the fuck am I watching right now?

And in the rest of it, fucking kicked ass. It is the best kind of news. And I was saying, the runtime too is perfect. I think for a movie like that, 95 minutes. I think it's not even, I think it's 80, 85. It was like just under an hour and a half. Could have been a pure hour if they didn't linger on so many shots.

And I'm not even making it. To the well where he's pulling the baby out of the well. There's, there are, same sound effect repeated 20 times. Yeah. There's so many moments in that movie where you're like, am I still looking at this motherfucker on a hill? There is, there are. Same side effect repeated 20 times. Yeah. There's so many moments in that movie where you're like, am I still looking at this motherfucker on a hill? Like, it's been 45 seconds.

It's such a weird movie, but like, I really, really wanted to share with everybody because like Mandalorian is super like, you know, popular right now and all this stuff. And like, there's this like, narrative trend with Hollywood where they cannot get off of old men and their child and the apocalypse and they're defending them and stuff like that.

And it's like, oh, that's just all started with lone wolf and cub. So I needed to show everybody, so it's like, well, this is why this is rejected. I think you're right. I think Hollywood is obsessed with old men that are obsessed with children. Yeah. You're children. Yeah. I also I hope you don't feel bad for

Shronger's sister moving around because it's fucking rock. Oh no, it was the best. It was so fun. Yeah, the thing with old movies is that they're just fucking like they have so much dumb shit in them and all movies do. Like you'll see something and you're like, oh fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Andrew and I recently rewatched The Longest Yard, The Adam Sandler movie, which is a movie that I grew up watching and loving. I love all those like old football movies and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah. This is fantastic. 2000s, really 90s.

The reason I wanted to watch it is because I was hanging out with Griff and Griff's partner. And we were like, oh, what should we watch? I don't know and then we saw Longest Yard and I was like, oh my God, the longest yard and Griff was like, oh my God, that movie rocks. Yeah. Oh man, we should watch the longest yard

and we're getting all excited and then her partner goes, oh, I've never seen it. And we both go, okay, we can't watch it. No. And she goes, what? Why? And I go, because otherwise we're gonna have to apologize every 15 seconds.

For few-slee for the fifth. For few-slee. Yeah, because every five minutes in that movie're gonna have to apologize every 15 seconds. Profusely for the shit. Profuseless. Yeah, because every five minutes in that movie you have to go, okay, I'm so sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm really sorry. They went on to do 30 Rocks, so it's a little bit better, you know? Yeah, it's like, yeah, is Tracy Morgan doing like offensively over the top like? Transphobia. Transphobia? Yes.

Yeah, in that movie. Oh, God, I forgot about that. that movie. Oh, it's God. I forgot about that, that's good. That's what I'm saying. That's, well, and we were watching it. I was like, it really was like, so much of the movie is like really enjoyable, but it also comes from a time when it was just like,

Hollywood's idea of a joke was just gay panic. Like, all you had to do was put in a, like, trends or gay character and have them be like slightly over the top and be like well that's comedy everybody. Yeah. Give me a million dollar check. Like that what really was from that time but then the rat like so much on the rest of the movie and then you know I'm saying that is horrible and but the rest of the movie is so fun and so enjoyable and it's Adam Sandler like doing the that sorry the my uncle's

the way this is Adam Sandler's acting in all that movie. Tongue in cheek. Tongue in cheek. Just like, and not even not the phrase, tongue in cheek. Literally. Literally, that's the whole cheek. In the side of the cheek. That's what's his name, the older actor.

But Reynolds, yeah. I think Burt was using the original. He was, yeah. And then brought him back as the coach. And also leads to my favorite scene in the entire movie where Bert Reynolds plays one play, even though at no point have they ever like, there's no reason to establish it as a player. Yeah. The only reason they did that is because the actor was in the original. It doesn't make sense for the movie to have him go in for one play. They have other

players on the. Yeah. Yeah. He may like he has supposedly the coach of the team comes in like at their big final game is suited up in pads and like a uniform for no reason. Well, the reason is as so he can make the last play of the game. And this is early 2000s, Bert Reynolds. He is like a 65 year old man. Yeah. Like there is no, in no world, is he not get snapped in half? Just put in just watching traction by the legitimate professional wrestlers on the other team.

Yeah, but fucking Kevin Nash taking his head off, which would have happened. But like the rest of the movie should have been like diving into the end zone and then like instantly being carted off because like he broke both arms diving into the Oh, sorry, I was just gonna. There you at. Yeah, please. There. We look pretty good though. No, no, no, no, no, his fate I'm sorry. I burnt God love you. RIP. RIP his face cannot support a close-up in this movie because every time they cut him He has been pulled so tight like that. All the face tape. No, this, this movie's budget went to the VFX to take out the person standing behind

Bert pulling his ears like this. Wow. His face is like, I mean, when they do it close up, he kind of look like Freddie Krueger a little bit. It's not even being mean. I'm being honest. Yeah. It's, it's, I don't know, don't just ate naturally or don't.

I don't do it every. Do it every one. It's a privilege. I don't know, don't just ate naturally or don't, I guess I don't do whatever you want. Do whatever you want. It's a privilege, it's a privilege. A great example of the type of shit in this movie, like sort of to explain it, because I haven't stopped thinking about this movie. So if we watched it,

is they, one of the things that they do is with one of those big wrestler guys, the really big guy. Kevin Nash. Kevin Nash. With Kevin Nash, what they do is he's taking steroids as like a pill that he takes. And they switch out the steroids with estrogen. And that becomes a running joke for the whole third act. And the third act is like, could you imagine a man taking estrogen, becoming more feminine?

What a ludicrous idea. Look how it affects them so quickly. Yeah, it's just absolutely like, it's so dumb, but. No shade to Kevin Nash, he's the fucking king. Love Kevin Nash. Oh yeah, what do you figure out? He's 6'11. Yeah, he's tall as shit.

Yeah, I thought, okay, I talked to Eric about this. And I was like, who do we like more? Kevin Nash or Goldberg? And I think we have to like, Goldberg more. No, no, Stone Cold Steve Austin. I get the three mixed up, because they're all really big white bald dudes. Stone Cold's in the movie too, and gets towered over

by Kevin Nash, by the way. Wait, Goldberg's ex, right? In the, fuck, shit. I'm totally forgetting on who's who. Sorry, go on, go on. I'm kidding. Also, Stone Cold drops the N word, like four times hard or whatever.

Yeah, hard or, so again, I have to apologize every 10 minutes for watching this, while you're watching this movie, like I'm so sorry. Yeah, who may be. Yeah, it's their actors and also like their plant, you know, I don't think Stone Cold's a racist, but it's like that scene coming up was kind of like, you didn't need to do that

You were already being racist before you started using the racist like yeah, it's like yeah He's playing a racist security guard, but they were really leaning into it Like this is a racist piece of shit security guard. It's like this is a comedy What you don't like me so Steve Austin was the guard that had the estrogen pills, I think. No, no, it's Kevin Nash. Kevin Nash. Oh, okay. All right, all right.

And he just gets knocked out. It's done cold. Speaking of football movies, one of my favorite movies, period, I just think it's such a great movie and also it's based off of a true story, but remember the Titans, you guys see it now? Oh, man. Oh, yes, I did. Yes, I did have a substitute teacher in grade remember the Titans, you guys see it now, one? Oh, man. Oh, yes, I did go. Yes, I did have a substitute teacher in grade school. Yes, I did see.

I watched it on a flight recently, because I'm like, oh, I love this movie. And I was like, balling. Oh, man, already on a plane, soft touch, soft touch on a plane, they did some study, like people do crock get more emotional on planes when they watch movies. But you're talking about it.

Because you're so, it's just you in the movie, like there's no other anything. I know. I think it had something to do with like elevation and like the oxygen environment and stuff like that does make you more susceptible to like being emotional and so like movies really hit. And you couldn't have asked for a better one

to just like hit you right in the heart than remember the time. It's such an incredible movie. I wish I could make every single person in this country watch that movie. It's great. I enjoyed, but yes, that was a staple of substitute teacher energy movie.

It's like, well kids, I don't have the lesson plan. So remember the Titans it is. Yeah, I remember watching that. No complaints on a really bus trip cross state because my football team was going to the playoffs. Over the Titans, we all got to learn a lesson from this movie. Yeah. I'm more kind of around when he gives that speech at Gettyxburg.

Fucking good. I kind of want to watch it again, even though I've seen it like a billion times in my years. We had a double feature. We watched Adam Sandler's The Longest Yard and then a movie with the exact same plot, which was Jason Statham's death race. Both movies are about a professional extreme athlete who is down on their luck and not doing well in their life, and then gets arrested and then through weird shady deals, a warden who has a prison that hosts that extreme sport, they get sent there to do that extreme sport and they have their freedom hung over their head as an incentive if they don't do it.

Is this a dystopian future, or is this grounded in reality? Have you not seen Death Race? No, I have heard of Death Race. It sounds like... Death Race, rock! It sounds like Running Man, but like... Yeah, I mean, it is. It's like running. It's Running Man in cars. All it sounds like it sounds like running man, but like yeah, yeah, I mean it is

Running man in cars all with like it's like it's a running man needs twisted metal. That's all you need Yo, shit. Yeah, that race fucking rocks and I'll watch it with you again That movie slat so it's the future Corporations own the prisons and a lot of people go to jail and the correct you imagine it Here is 2021. I think it actually does take place in like, 2023, yeah. Here is present day America.

Yeah, and so basically, and this is all told to you in like words that play before the movie. Sure. Basically, like they started. I love what movies tell and don't show. Yeah, exactly. They started having like death fights and like gladiator matches basically

and that just kept growing and needed to keep expanding. So eventually they created death race, which is twisted metal ash fucking cars fitted with giant machine guns, explosives, bombs and they race on the track. It feels like a video game. It fucking rocks when you pass through things, you get your weapons unlocked,

your armor unlocked, and the thing is, is if you win five races, then you get to go free. And there's a character named Frankenstein who's been in so many accidents he has to wear a mask. I don't know if I want to know much more because it's getting into spoiler territory and I want to watch it. Yeah, I never fucking love to stay them them do this is the first minute of the movie

Yeah, the rest of the movie is awesome. You want to have the drive-in? Also blue starlight they don't sponsor this but they're a local Austin business and I fucking love them to death So if you're ever in town. Yeah, I think we actually worked with them for RTX. Yeah, I think we did for the most of her the Theater mode, dude look at that and that's like that's like a shitty early 2000s of Mustang worked with them for RTX. Yeah, I think we did for the theater mode. Dude, look at that. That's like a shitty, early 2000s Mustang, but it looks sick as fuck. It's fucking rad.

This is the movie that made me want a Mustang. That's so good. And then sitting in a Mustang made me not want a Mustang. Yeah, I'm gonna say. You say it's like, it screams video game, but no shit. So they do one lap and they don't have any weapons. And they literally turn on lights on the ground that you have to drive over in order to activate your weapons.

So it really is just like, Mario Kart, it's like, I need to get a question mark to get my like, it really is just like, the movie fucking rock. I go nuts for movies like this because it's just like, it's so up my alley and I haven't seen it yet and I get to enjoy it in my like adult brain. Like it wasn't ruined for me when I haven't seen it yet and I get to enjoy it in my like adult brain.

Like it wasn't ruined for me when I didn't understand it when I was like a teenager, you know? I fucking, it's like unlocking something. And please, it's state them. You got him just like, do you know who I was? He's not, he's not like, Jeff Gillian. He's like skinny like pit bull fucking scrummy buff.

Yeah, yeah. It's hard to look at. He looks, yeah, he looks scary. It's my mother watching,. Yeah, it looks scary. I'm overwatching it, dude. I am so down. I'm gonna see. Please, yeah, please do.

I have such a big fucking couch. I can fit all of this. It is. You need to take a fat shit. Good bathroom. I would love to. I'd be honored. Yeah.

Dude, Death Race is one of those movies that I watched. My mom rented it for me at a blockbuster. Sick. And it became like my favorite movie and like every five weeks, because we would rent movies every week and every like five weeks would be like, can I get death rates again? I just feel like it.

All right. At this point you've paid whatever production company and like, $120 or just that one movie. Also, they made sequels to death race that I didn't know about until we watched it and looked it up. They But like, dog shit. Yeah, well, here's how you know their dog shit is because death race had a budget of $48 million. One of the greatest things about the movie that Andrew pointed out is all of the, a bunch of those stunts,

explosions, shit, they're clearly practical. Yeah, really. Wow. Yeah. Death race two, budget of $6 million. Oh, I like green screen. Oh, what a bad early 2000s. Yeah, it's like when it's like budget, $6 million,

and then you look at the credits, like these are all like Croatian names. Like this was shot in like a country that probably didn't have a lot of rules about filming. And it's safer, you know what I mean? It's like, oh boy. None of the, none of the same actors that were in the first one are in the second one,

and that's not a spoiler. They just couldn't afford a single film. Dude, and then you look at Fast and the Furious and they're doing three-part finale. It's insane, it's like way too much. Someone just mentioned Gamer, which came out in the same time, that's Gerard Butler. And it's kind of a similar concept where you're in the prison system, but you become an in people like a playable character in a video game.

Oh, yeah. And then they had another one that was surrogates with Bruce Willis, that was equally as dog shit. That movie, I remember liking when I was a kid, and I saw it. They're not a kid, but like a teenager. So both of my mom and we're like, this fucking stuff. Did you ever see free guy? Yeah. Ryan Reynolds. It's legitimately fun.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like a, it's someone compared it to the Lego movie in real life. Okay. That's a good, yeah. It's very, I thought it was surprised me. I know that we're not the first people to bring this up

and I'm not even the first person to bring it up on Rooster Teeth, but I have recently become obsessed with finding I want to hold same movie double features. Yeah where it's like Hellfest bloodfest. Yeah point break No strings attached Yeah, it's just one. Oh, it's it's the same movie but different. They just like re-skinned it It's like it it it I mean it is the handsome bugs life, you know, it is the I mean, yeah I mean, we just did it with the death freeze 2000 longest yard Charlie the chocolate factory and

What's that fucking train movie with Chris Evans? Oh fucking avatar Fern Gully. Let's do it You're talking about oh Fucking not what frost train something like that. Yeah, you know snowpiercer. No, you're sir It's not what Frost Train something like that. Yeah, you know what? Snowpiercer. Snowpiercer. Ah. Frost Train.

Frost Train. I mean, you're three close. That is the like super like sci-fi channel-ass version of the movie. Cole, Cole in the controller, I'm also pointed out, White House down in a libusus fallen. Oh yeah. Same movie. Oh, it's a chanting Tadam Jarrellar. Yeah, exactly.

Here's what I'm saying. Both fighting liquor bloat, too. You two fucking sleepwalk their way through those fucking paychecks. Those two movies came out around the same time, right? Yes. Because here's the other thing, is this happens with studios a lot? Like, Bugs Life is coming out and they were like, get us a bug movie and they made ants to compete with it.

Like the Olympus is falling and White House down, same thing where they came out around the same time. I feel like what happens is like someone pitches an idea and then they pitch it to enough people and then the idea is then gleaned after the pitch. Sure. And then it just like happens to go into effect at the same time.

That's happened so fucking often. I think that there is at least two, two to three years. I think I wanna say it's four years difference between death race and longest yard. So that's what I mean. I want to do same movie but different with movies that it's not the thing. Well, almost concurrent.

It's not that they came out at the same time and the studios were trying to like capitalize on it. Right. I just mean like where you see the archetype and you're like, oh, that's the same movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Right, ducks and remember the Titans.

So yeah, like it's a. Oh, no. OK, the ducks and remember the Titans. So yeah, like, so. Oh, no. Okay, not really. So like, not, you're saying like, not volcano Dante's peak. Yes. Because that was, that is like, truly like, two studios trying to be the first to market

with like a natural disaster volcano movie. Oh, man. You, you want like, oh, it's this plot just set in this world. Yeah. It's the same movie, likeurally and character story-wise, but completely different. And I want to say the same time, exactly.

I want to see the movie where they're like, it's death race, in Mars or whatever. Yeah, where that was clearly the pitch. The prestige and the illusionist is something too. I was thinking of those magic movies. Those came out like the same time. Whoa, come all up on those comments. Someone mentioned Escape from New York. Yeah, I fucking love that movie. I considered showing Escape at a

drive in, but I think it's just too slow for a drive in. Escape in New York and lock out. I've never heard of lock out. I've never heard a lock out. Okay. Good. She'll have to watch it. Somebody write that down for me. Thank you. Escape from New York is dope. It's a really good John Carpenter flip. Well, text it to you. Escape from New York is basically the wall from solar opposites, but fleshed out. That's where they stole it from.

They even call it out, I think, in the cartoon. You know what I'm talking about? No. Solar opposites was a Justin Royal and show, and fuck that guy. RIP, yeah, fuck that guy forever. No, not even RIP. No, rest in peace, rest in peace, that's what I meant.

Piss, bullshit. I texted it too, so you're a member. Thank you, you're the best. Don't look at that text in a few days, be like, what the fuck are you talking about? The fuck escaped from New York, I'm in Texas. Run. Lockout was legit a rip off the director,

or even got sued, get down. Oh wow. It's always interesting when things like that when twin movies happens. Yeah. Because a lot of people are like, oh, they ripped off this plot. And they ripped it off.

It's like, do you know how impossible it would be for two movies to come out at the same time for one to have ripped off the other one? Yeah. Because of all the production, all the post production, pre-production, everything that goes into making a film. Well, all they get is like, so whoever's pitching it, pitches it to multiple people.

So whoever, whatever studio here that it got picks up, all they know is like the basic pitch. That's true. I thought I forgot about like the initial pitch phase. I think a lot of people think like, oh, I saw this movie and I just made the same one. Yeah, you're right. Where the, what, it's weirder because they're reverse

engineering because you are right. They, they haven't seen it. They have like two, three sentences, maybe a scene or two to like go off of, and then they have to build the whole thing around it. Just on them. That's actually just goes to show you how much storytelling is just archetypes

and fucking formula. Oh yeah. You could pretty much recreate a movie based on a log line if you were tried hard enough. Sure. Oh yeah, absolutely. Like you know, the finer points might be a little bit, you know, off, but like, um, probably before we wrap up.

Oh, we got it. Yeah. Since we are close to finishing up, I do want to also mention, uh, that today we launched your brand new YouTube channel for Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Woo. Woo. The actual play D&D podcast that Blaine and I are both on that we talk about all the time, uh, just got its own YouTube channel. It actually took over the old squatting force YouTube channel. Nice. the actual play D&D podcast that Blaine and I are both on that we talk about all the time.

Just got its own YouTube channel. It actually took over the old Squat Team Force YouTube channel. Nice. We already had that going, but- Because it's rising from the ashes. We're gonna be putting up the puppet videos we make up there. We're gonna be putting all of campaign two on that channel, as well as the first episode from campaign one.

Anything I'm missing as well, Blaine? The soundtracks and any future content that we're going to be developing under the stinky dragon umbrella. And I'm happy to announce that they've officially let me DM and play all the characters for my own season. Could you do my character right now? Yes, from which season season? Season two. Oh,

Hi. On. Give me what's the name again? Elga. Elga! It's not far off. Do my character. What's your character's name? Chip.

No. No, you fail. Really far off. That's good. Oh, that's actually accurate. Chip, is this an air drive? Yeah. Show some love.

Check us out. Stinky DragonPod, I think. Stinky DragonPod. Is that the YouTube channel? Yes drive? Yeah. So some love, check us out, stinky dragon pod, I think. Stinky dragon pod. Is that the YouTube channel? Yes. Yeah, I think it's some love. You might already be subscribed to it if you were subscribed to this podcast before.

Everyone look under your seats, you may be subscribed, so if everyone gets a subscription, you do, come on. But please, please do give it a chance. I know, I've seen so many posts from people being like, oh, I've heard of stinky dragon, I never gave it a shot, and then I listened to the first episode and I'm hooked and I love this podcast. So like, you never know, you might love it. Give it a shot.

We work really hard on it and really like making it. So please check that out. If you're a fan of actual play, long form, D&D content, go ahead and follow this, like it, comment on it, do stuff. Even if you've already listened to the show, go back and help it out again because this is how we get to make more of it. It's hard to convince people

that posting hours worth of content on YouTube is a good idea. Yeah. But if you like it, this is how you do it. Go follow it if you're not already. Go like every video. Go comment on it, your favorite stuff. Type out what you think Chip is supposed to sound

like in every video. I mean, even leave the review of the Sugar-Free gummies. Exactly. In the comments, at least it counts as interaction, but not as one such engagement. Yeah, but give it, but give the show five stars. It also is like, it's easy, it's an easy way

to share it with your friends too. If there's like a YouTube thing for it. 100%. I've started doing this thing that I've never been able to do before, but you saw the way that my apartment's lined up. Is I've started putting on long-form content on my TV, and then just going and cooking and cleaning in my kitchen. It's awesome.

It's a perfect way to do it. Can we pass the time? Yeah. So play stinky dragon to your pets. You don't extend their life, their expectancy. They'll want to chew them, because they're felt puppets and they look very, very much like toys. Delicious.

But yeah, we are not doctors. Yeah, let's reiterate that. I like kissing bigger right now. Jesus Christ. Wow. God damn it. I love, thank you guys for joining us today on the RT podcast. Yes.

We'll be back next week for another RT podcast. Maybe Gus will be here. Maybe not. Who knows? Time will tell. We'll see if we can get him out of jail. Coming back with more comments and thoughts on all our streams. Yeah.

No pun intended. Make sure you go buy your RTX tickets. If you haven't already, RTX Austin.com. We hope to see you there. It's going to be such a blast this summer. And we'll see you next time. Bye, guys. Bye.

Bye. Music Describe the show to a newcomer in a more familiar way. Do you like apples? Example. Together in Trempit hosts. Characombs. Characombs are free of Diaz of nothing to do with this podcast. Analyze various unsolved and rooster teeth's cryptic podcast. F**k face.

Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise specific, but short. Listen to show name on Apple Spotify or wherever you get podcasts. It's f*** face, a podcast. Subscribe or no. You do yes?

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