Rooster Teeth Podcast - When the Ball Drops - #419
Episode Date: March 14, 2017RT Discusses Balls Dropping Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
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It's time to put your pedal to the metal.
From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland,
an executive producers, Will Arnett and Anthony Mackie
comes the new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal,
a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series.
Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motor-mouthed outsider
who must deliver a mysterious package
across a post-apocalyptic wasteland.
If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell,
Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church, twisted metal, streaming now, only on Peacock. Oh, you're...
Ah!
Oh!
That's gonna show during the life.
Hey everyone, welcome to the receive podcast this week, brought to you by Movement, Nature
Box, and CISO.
Thanks to those guys responsible.
This episode of the podcast, I'm Gus.
I'm Gavin Brennan, you're pretending to type.
I'm not pretending, I'm typing right now, that's Brandon.
I'm Blaine.
I'm Gus.
Yeah, we have a new, I thought you got hit by a costume.
Oh, no, I think so different.
I should mention right now at the top of the show.
If you go, you know, Bernie and you are doing that
GoFundMe for the Special Olympics,
and while we're broadcasting live tonight,
if you donate to the GoFundMe,
Bernie's matching funds for it.
So if you want to increase your power
to help send people to Special Olympics,
GoVisit the URL should be on the stream right now,
and only while we're live right now,
is he gonna be matching up to $5,000 worth?
So not forever.
Not forever.
Not if you're watching this on YouTube, it's not live.
Did you know you can watch this podcast live every Monday,
even if you remember Ristis first,
just check out the link in the description below.
Wink.
See?
Fucking got them all out of the way.
Not a Tesla, and what's that shit about?
You should line your head so the car crashes into your head.
I didn't know that was coming.
I was going to get that.
It was just fancy.
Yeah, it's fucking Bernie probably showing,
I probably asked broadcast to rub in the fact
that I don't want a Tesla.
Got you.
Yeah, fucking zing.
You have a deposit down though
when they come out in like 30 years.
Supposedly, they're going to come out on time.
The Maltese, they said they've already started test production
and they're gonna enter mass production by September.
Do you think that's really the business they wanna be in
or making batteries?
Why not both?
Can I make a prediction for my experience?
Yeah, really like the,
are we gonna do predictions for when I get the car?
Oh, thanks a bunch.
I think you will get your Tesla in April of 2019.
I think if I had to guess, my guess is gonna,
I'm gonna be, I'm very optimistic March 2018.
But by this year in 12 months, I'll have it.
Wow, I was gonna say 2021,
but I'll just go with 2020 just cause I just are pessimists.
I'm not, I mean, you know, they got a lot of stuff going on.
They got rockets going up.
I saw the rest of the...
I was like, it looks like a fatter version of their car.
Yeah, this built on the same frame.
It looks like me when I ate pizza
like before and after on Sundays,
we're just like, do you notice a difference
between you based on what you've eaten?
Yeah.
So if you saw a picture of you,
you could say, oh, I had a pizza.
Oh, after that.
Well, it depends on how tight the shirt would be.
He's got it.
Yeah, like I could recognize a Chipotle belly.
You do own shirts that are tight enough that you could tell.
Yeah.
Yeah, we're one last night.
When I went to, what was that movie called?
The Tomic Blond, it's off by, you guys
been doing any self-by-shed?
Great, good conversation.
No, isn't, yeah, we were that together.
I thought I thought I thought I thought I
like I didn't have to answer
because you sat next to me in the way.
So you mixed you, I totally forgot, I'm so sorry.
I'm not very memorable, Gus.
It's impossible to get a shirt,
let's custom design to make me look a little skinnier.
Like here, where am I got?
Like, imagine it.
You can wear like, spanks.
Well, imagine like, okay, so like vertical lines,
except when it gets to about right here with the gut,
whereas you naturally expand,
have the line slanted in.
So then it would be like,
and the design would be like this,
but when you wear it it would be like that.
No, that when you wear it it would be straight,
but the design would be like.
That's what he said.
Oh no, he said it would be like that.
Like he had his hands on it.
No, there were like this.
You weren't looking at that right direction
in my hands signal.
See, it's the same kind of optical illusion. Yeah, they get thinner. Sorry, working.
It's like the like the castle and Disney castle. Exactly like that. Oh, they're all
this. It looks bigger than it is. Yeah, you don't know. They do a force perspective on it
or something. Yeah, because they don't want planes to crash in it. So there is a limit
to how tall the castle can be. So they make the top of it like a more narrow to create that.
Oh really?
I wanna drink some of this green beer.
I was assuming it was because it was built on small plan.
What's with the green beer?
I think it's cause St. Patrick's Day is later this week.
Yeah.
Do you trust?
You don't like just want those gloves of scum?
We don't call it like that.
That's like scum flows
Shunky stuff came out of the
We have a sieve do we have a strainer?
I'm really hoping you drink it and then you smile and your mouth was just
No, how much for you to eat a handful of bass gum?
No, how was you got in my wallet nothing?
No, well that's not enough is it?
You don't mistrust like just weird things
that are naturally a different color.
Broadcast made it and they know what a weirdo I am about stuff.
So I assume that they took my special needs into concern.
What your special needs?
I like everything washed very thoroughly before I use it.
I once got a sore throat and I accused Patrick of not having washed a glass, but he claims
he did.
You see?
Yeah, I don't understand why dishwashers have multiple cleaning settings.
Why don't you just automatically do the sanitize, burn this, yeah, melt it and completely.
Why I think it's the same amount of stuff you put in there?
No.
It can also do with the material, the stuff that you put in there,
like plastic versus metals.
Oh, that's a great point.
So do you see there was a,
don't go to about what you put in your dishwasher.
Great conversation here.
There was a city, there was a city in Canada.
You two rich don't you?
There is.
That's something that you can't reach.
It's the first time I've seen it.
So we're just talking about like weird, like,
we call it stuff, and like trusting it
or being skeptical.
There's a city in Canada where all of the water
in the city like the tap water just became pink.
And people started like getting freaked out about it
and the city was like, no, no, no, don't worry about it.
Just keep on going, just trust us, everything's okay.
But it's like, that's the weirdest thing.
Like could you imagine like getting up in the morning,
you take a shower and it's just like nothing but-
What was it?
Huh?
That's like something out of Batman.
Like Joker put something in the fucking city reservoir.
This is what a city planner was like.
We're gonna raise awareness on cancer by giving cancer.
Yeah.
So we're just gonna-
What was it?
It looks like someone threw a giant bath bomb in the reservoir.
Branding, you're not answering me. What was it? You brought the a giant bath bomb in the reservoir? Branding you're not
You brought the story
I was just waiting for you guys to finish I didn't want to just interrupt you
I can't say
May have struck allowing the potassium. Oh fuck me
permanent
the potassium oh fuck me uh permanent g-
g-
permanent again and it
pomegranate?
pomegranate thank you to get
p-
oh that explains the color
let's-
no I've read it
pomegranate
yeah uh permanent
hold on
you got it right
what is it
uh to be able to get into our
some reservoir and thereby into
the town's water distribution
system
potassium what?
potassium pomegranate
let me look at it you're very sunny you put it in just read it just read the water distribution system. Potassium what? Potassium pomegranate. Potassium pomegranate.
Let me look at it.
You're very tiny.
You put it in.
Just read it.
Just read the syllables.
Yeah, I mean, oh my God.
Oh my God, you are a train wreck brand.
Where is it?
Potassium.
I'm trying to help.
I'm trying to help.
Trying to contribute.
What was it?
Permangonate.
Oh, of course.
You just said that, Permangonate.
Did you learn, when you learned how to read,
little Brandon.
Yeah. When you learned how to read, little Brandon, when you learned how to read,
did you learn like using phonics,
or did you learn sight words?
Uh, just sight words.
Oh, that explains why you can't fucking read them.
Yep.
Yep, just read like, you know, pardon me.
I mean, it's just,
yeah, like pronunciation just doesn't make, yep.
I just think that, and I was a horrible spell.
I think learning that way is awful
because then when you encounter words you don't know,
you don't know how to fucking say this.
Yeah, sight words. They, they, it's's basically memorization you start learning lists of words. Oh, that's wrong
Right, so instead of like being able to read something phonetically you can only say things if you have experience with that word already
Well, it's a way it's a way it's a way I think most people are taught now
Really? Yeah, well, there's one I just learned the letters and then learned how to read.
It's like, yeah.
There's so many exceptions though.
Like there's certain languages where you just have like
characters like any Arabic you'd have like
shushu and you know that represents a sound.
What does shushu mean?
And I don't speak Arabic.
I don't speak Persian either.
I may have Persian, I know nothing about the culture.
You must not say hello.
It's not Ola.
But office is goodbye.
Head office is goodbye.
So you notice a good balance.
Thank you.
Yeah, no, I don't know how to say hello.
Bally is yes.
Do your parents speak it?
My dad speaks it with his friends,
but my mom's not.
About you.
Yeah, I was talking shit about my mom's, you know,
she's the white.
So we didn't speak it growing up in my house.
How's your mom doing?
And even my dad and his friends, they speak,
it's kind of like spanglish, you hear that term.
They just speak a mix between English and Persian.
Hmm, how's your mom?
Uh, she's doing good.
You met her at my wedding.
You dancing with her for a while.
Lovely lady, Good Lord.
At one point, it was me, Chris and Josh,
she were like doing this number or on your mom
and we're like, Brandon, and you looked over and we're like,
yeah, I saw that.
I was like, all right, funny, moving on.
I'm just gonna let that happen.
Not gonna knock it out.
That's so nice.
That's when I spilled beer on Gus and he left
my wedding and I wasn't beer. It was vodka. I'm I feel so to be fair. If you're gonna spill
anything on Gus, it might as well be vodka. Yeah, it's quite you leave so early and you didn't
say goodbye. Oh, I'll tell you off podcast. Oh, I'm imagining it's someone got he shit
his pants. Yeah, I shit my pants. That's exactly what happened. He didn't shit his pants.
I was excited, I was like, we have like free alcohol,
Gus is gonna have alcohol all night,
Gus is gonna have a good time.
So, so surprised that you,
I was there.
I know.
I went to Mexico.
I was very happy to have a friend of a wedding.
I wanted you to be like, completely,
I wanted you to be like, I had a good time.
I did have a good time.
Okay.
I finally got the wedding favor.
I know. And it was,
I think we talked about it. A lot of times at weddings, people will get a like a first aid
kit basically. It'll have stuff like a hangover powder. I think we put phone chargers in it
because I was like, follow, we need the risk, put, risk, people need their phones or they're gonna leave. And I put it inside replica,
fallout lunch boxes.
And I was like, I think most people like this,
but I was like, I think Gus is really, really gonna appreciate it.
But at the hotel, they put his first name
and Gus or Gustavo, there was a lot of people
at the hotel that had the same name.
So they just gave it to some like random person.
And I was like, the satisfaction was just like,
ripped away from me, because I was like,
the only person that's gonna really like this is Gus.
So then Paul's mom, after the fact,
went to that hotel and made them track it down.
Wow.
And it was, well, from my perspective,
it was really confusing because the itinerary
for the wedding, if everything was going on,
was in that lunch box
So since I never had it. I was like well, I'm in Mexico. I don't know what time or where anything is
That was like texting other people like hey, I feel like they're really designed a lot of your wedding around
Where the gust would like it on hot. I had very little to do with the wedding and the stuff that I asked for I did not get
I'm not gonna complain. I'm just saying I really really had, like I really wanted to see no tables.
And they told me that they were gonna get them,
and they were looking into it up until a week
before the wedding at this point,
I'm just like, you're not really getting it.
And they're like, no.
It was like, fair enough.
But I was a great, well, great thing.
But I was not very actively involved in that plan.
It was a brand in the other day,
the other day, brand and asked me what stamps
I had on my invitation.
What does that mean?
Like the postal stamps on the envelope that he made
up to me, he's like, which stamps did you get?
I was like, uh, Star Wars ones?
Yeah, yeah, which ones.
I was like, I don't remember.
There were tears.
Because I was like, all right,
this, I only have so many Star Wars stamps
and they were vintage, so I had to put a shit load of them and they were like big cards
So I had to put even more and so I was like looking at each person in which ones would they like like Josh Flanagan I put
Chebacca because it's a hairy fuck no no mace
What do you know? Oh, sorry?
What was the bad guy from the apprentice in Phantom Menace? Donald Trump?
Oh.
Darth Maul, yeah, because he hates Phantom Menace.
I was like, I put that on there,
and I'm like, he'll really like it.
You give me both of it.
Yeah, I put all this effort and no one gave a shit.
No, I didn't care.
I commented on it.
Did you really?
Yeah, at the time.
Oh, thank you.
Like to yourself, not to say what you're like.
I'm so proud of you.
Oh, I'm just better.
RSVP.
I'll get to it.
Okay.
It's like your theory where you don't reply if you're to know.
It's like the same thing.
It's just crazy.
It's cool.
Just say no.
Because then it's like you feel in a weird position where you, especially for wedding
invitations, you have to find out and get an RSVP.
So then you feel really awkward going to people about be like hey are you coming?
It's okay. I don't want you to feel like yeah, I just felt uncomfortable.
You're already an awkward person to begin with.
I'm already an awkward person.
When you said you came up to me, you were like, I'm going to invite you to my wedding,
but I know you probably won't go.
I know, I just didn't want to, I don't want, I have a real phobia of people feeling obligated
to go to things.
I mean, did you go?
No, I don't think I was in town.
That's cool.
Not that it was in town.
I was somewhere else probably.
You weren't in the appropriate town.
Yeah.
I just have a weird phobia of people feeling obligated
to come to something that I'm doing.
It was a really strange thing because I remember
when the invites were sent out,
you kept saying to all of us like
You don't need to come. No, I didn't say it like that. I just did not
You know, it was like I know it's really far away. Yeah, don't worry about it. It's like you know
We just wanted to invite you. It's not a big deal
Then Paul was like you need to come just just come we would love it and it's like yeah, yeah totally
So I just hope you see you into it. No one ripped me into it. I would have gone regardless. I just felt-
I feel very nervous.
I felt good because it's an international wedding
and it's not a city that's easy to get to.
There's no direct flight to it.
But nobody in our group had been to Mexico
aside from like, maybe Josh or something.
So we're all like, yeah, it's a new experience.
Let's do it.
Yeah, it's not like a beach town.
It's not a super fun to-
We had a blast.
I'm glad.
You had giant robot mech people dancing with us
We were in a dance battle that kind of sucked, but you still fun
Yeah, I ended up running we ended up running private buses to take people
From here to there just to help with it just cuz I'm that paranoid so what's the divorce?
Well, it pollen it's another two years before Paul gets her citizenship
So yeah, I got I got like a free pass for a little more while.
You could be a really shocked in-ship husband.
You could buy all the grass from California that you want.
I just feel like she's gonna be counting down so she gets it,
and then she's gonna have a laundry list of things that
to hold me responsible for.
And I'm just like, oh, I'm sorry.
What's the grass in California?
He buys grass from California, so his dog can piss on it.
Yep.
What the fuck is this?
Presented without content.
That's the most high-maintenant shit I've ever heard.
But we already talked about that.
We already talked about that to death.
I'll tell you about it if it's done.
I'll tell you about it if it's done.
I don't listen to the podcast.
I mean, I must have missed that podcast because I listen to it all the time.
It's weird. It comes from... I like how cool you've become, Blaine. You're like, you're cool now. afterwards done. I don't listen to the podcast. I mean, I must have missed that podcast because I listen to it all the time.
It's really a joke.
It comes out like how cool you've become, Blaine.
You're like, you're cool now.
Okay, that is so, you said that was such a shit tone
that you clearly don't mean it, and that hurts.
Are you using your own,
kind of weird like, the way that Blaine is gesturing
is like, you should that with a,
everything you've done today has been like that.
You're like, yeah, we're dancing like this,
and then you look cool like this.
You just like, you really want to jerk off right now.
No, I actually did look in my hands the other day.
I think they're just kind of trapped in this position.
Do you have like Bill Nyeyans?
Where are you?
Bill Nyehans as he is?
Not Bill Nye, the science guy.
Bill Nyehy, the actor.
Oh.
Oh, was he the fish guy?
Was he the fish guy?
And Pirates of the Caribbean? Yeah, I was a soft
but yeah, yeah, David Jones speaking of jerking off Gus you and I and Chris
sure teach other off pause
We had a discussion. Oh, yeah, discussion about like VR
Let me let me set that up real fast. Okay, so if you're watching the podcast stay tuned after the podcast is over
We have a supplemental interview that we did with someone who makes VR porn.
So stay tuned after the credits.
We'll have that.
Are we going to have that live for live viewers?
Yeah, it'll be live.
So would you speak highly of it then or can we dog it?
Why don't you say whatever you want?
Okay, because I had some things.
So I don't know.
So you were going to say? Yeah. So I have some things. I don't know.
So, you were going to say?
Yeah.
So, speaking of jerking off, there was something she had mentioned that I never heard about
that blew me away, put intended, where there's like a device, kind of like a flashlight.
We've talked about flashlight a lot.
So you can put on your VR headset and then you have, you know, the things you hold and
then you put on the, you know,
flashlight type device.
So you can, okay.
And then that syncs up to the software
that the actual VR company has running,
that's linked to your Oculus.
And then the live performer has a device
that interacts with that flashlight type thing on your thing.
And so they can do things and motion with it,
and you'll have that same sensation.
Wow.
But it's like manually controlled.
Yeah.
So that's like a USB compatible edge.
So is that just got to hang on your dick
while you're controlling with the controllers?
Right.
I don't know if that's a little of conversation.
You might have to stretch on it.
You might actually probably don't need the controllers
or you might only need one.
Do you imagine your mom walking in on you
and you got like all this technology and you're like,
ah!
It's like, oh my God!
I need this to get off.
There's a fantastic video that this guy made
that we were working with like a new director
and it's the same thing like imagine your mom walks in Fantastic video that this guy made that we were working with like a new director and
It's the same thing like imagine your mom walks in with you jerking off except 10 years from now and he's in this like giant
Circular apparatus with like all of these minority report like displays flashing up and like this like same thing like device
That's like jerking him off live like I highly recommend checking it out. It's super funny It's like that same thing, like device that's jerking them off live. Like I highly recommend checking it out.
It's super fun.
It's like that same thing.
The way that we came up to learn about this device
when we were talking earlier,
I didn't learn about it.
My concern was when you're heavy or porn,
you have the headset on.
I was like, how do you control where you finish?
What if you make a mess on your keyboard
and get a key stuck or get on your monitor?
She's like, oh, well, there's that thing.
You just put it on your dick.
A condom?
Oh, you can talk, get out, say, sorry, sorry.
I thought you were talking in the event
that you came with this thing on your mind.
But like, so how do you wait?
How far do we take that technology?
Imagine if there's a kind of a heavier little apparatus,
like something with a little bit of weight
that you put on your waist.
And then you have this thing that can have that same kind of motion.
You look up like we're so close to the point that it's virtual sex.
Yeah.
So you could demolition man like sex.
Two people could shag but not be touching each other.
Yeah.
Imagine if she also has like a device and as she moves her waist or he would say, you
have the same sensation. that cheating say like Esther was wearing
The penis and it was being controlled by someone else
Like say I was controlling the penis. So whatever I was doing it was going up
Yeah, would that be cheat hud she in with me. That's really weird. Does it?
I would be very uncomfortable with it. What if I had it here and I could do it, while I say I was at Gus.
I would not like that.
Are you controlling with your hand though or your penis?
Cause I guess it should be penis.
It should be penis.
Then I think that's wrong.
That's the point.
But with your hand, I think that's.
And go anywhere.
Dude, at some point that boundary will be broken.
Yeah.
It's close.
I think the technology is so close,
like you just need better designed.
Stuff, and I mean, I was completely just blown away.
You're on Twitter who is this Murphy,
vague guilt, said, wow, jerking off in the future
is gonna be dangerous.
Yeah.
If somebody does like hack into your computer
or something like that, and just like,
you know, full squeeze mode,
someone can really take you for a trip.
Well, I don't think they designed it so your penis could be crushed.
But there's different penis gurs and sizes.
What if they can make it for like, because I've got a giant dick.
So what if they can make it for a brand-in-size one?
What's that like?
It's awesome.
See, there was one of the things that she brought up this morning was like, when you put
on the headset, you don't actually see somebody there.
You don't see the cameraman there.
It's just space was like, you know, so you can imagine, you don't think, but I was like,
no, I want to see somebody there.
I want to see what it's like to have a monster.
Shlons.
Yeah.
Like that's really the important.
You have no connection to that, huh?
We can talk about some of this stuff later.
It's not spoiled.
The discussion.
That wasn't there.
That particular discussion.
You invited me to the TV show.
You can watch Robot Game.
You can watch it.
I don't watch the show.
Hey, I mean, I'm going to have this.
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I have a question for you.
Go.
So, in life, you buy things and then eventually you probably won't need them anymore, like
my Wii U. I don't really need them anymore.
But if I sell it, it won't make much money because it's old.
But if you could unbuy it, like press a button, it goes back in time and you get all of
the original money you spent, and it would never have been sold for Nintendo. If everyone could do that, which company do you think would be the most damaged by people
unbuying their product?
All of them.
Car companies.
I think anyone who sells you like a mobile phone, I think every copy of No Man's Sky would
be unbought.
I would not unbuy it.
You wouldn't?
No.
I was happy with the experience.
Just like 5%.
Um, and I realized I'm in the minor, I'm in the minor there.
It had problems.
It was not a great game, but I felt satisfied
with what I got for what I paid.
But Gavin, so like, I did actually, I played a follow.
When this happens and you click the unbi thing,
does that undo all of your memories?
Not then there's no downside to this.
I would absolutely do that to literally everything. would eat a hamburger and button on by it
Probably not a hamburger because it's high in fat and
Like a Chipotle
Well, I guess if you unbought hamburger it would disappear from your gut. Oh, well, then you just went against what you just said
Which is yeah, I didn't think it's three when it came to food
But you I mean you could shit it out on that on by it
You're already done with that point.
There's no downside to this.
I would absolutely do that.
That's the worst million dollars but scenario.
Wait, you don't get any money to be able to unbuy something.
But you get all the money back that, you know, I would do it.
I wonder how much money you could get from like your entire apartment.
What are you doing?
It's like sulfur.
Maybe it's a potassium magnet, or whatever it was.
Possibly.
It'd be interesting to like break down the valley.
Like, you know, I have homeowners insurance
for like my house and for all the stuff in it.
It's interesting when you like try to figure out
how much insurance you need.
It's like you're trying to break down
how much would it cost to replace everything?
Like if my house burned down and I had nothing left,
how much would it cost total to replace
every single thing I've collected over my entire life?
Like, all my clothes, all my electronics,
like not even thinking about data or anything like that.
Are you including the price of the material of the house?
Right, like all of that.
Like, what, if you were to write one check
for all of that, what would it be?
Like, that's fucking crazy to try to think about.
Is it like original retail value?
Because I mean, a lot of that stuff is old.
Yeah, I'm saying, like, you really have to replace it.
That's, say I have a jacket that I bought at like a, you know, thrift store that was originally $75,
but I bought it for $20.
What would you, how would you do that?
I don't know.
What would you say that you're most prized, aside from like dogs and like living things,
your most worldly possession?
What would you say it is?
My most worldly possession.
Like, your life's sorry, I guess not worldly. Like What would you say it is? My most worldly position.
Like, sorry, I guess not worldly.
Like, what is the thing that you value most?
The one position that you have that you just value the most?
My laptop?
Really?
What was your phone?
I don't know.
I don't have, I don't really don't care about my stuff that much.
Phantom?
I mean, I don't know in that.
Okay, what would yours be, though?
I mean, it would always, it always be stuff that you can't replace.
Yeah, like a nice note from someone else, I mean.
Really?
So if you had to like kick down your door
and your house is on fire, you'd say the fucking note.
I don't know, I'd say like a memory
that I couldn't replicate.
Okay.
My wife's engagement wedding ring.
Okay, that makes sense.
I would run back into a burning building.
It would probably be fine though, wouldn't it?
Would it melt?
Yeah, I mean, it depends on how bad it is.
How long have you been a huge explosion?
I mean, when your dog, dog swallows your ring
and you get it out, is it damaged at all?
I don't think so. Do dox while your ring. No
He went after the ring our new dog and it freaked me out. I ended up buying this like super protective case for it
Yeah, have I met Peter? I'm not sure I'll bring by the office
So it's a sweet boy. We got to take him to the vet pretty soon
He doesn't know this but we got to take off the balls
He doesn't know this, but we got to take off the balls. Mm-hmm.
Important step in every dog's life.
I'm a spotter.
Yeah, it was a whole thing,
trying to get that figured out with the vet.
What did he say, whole thing?
Well, we had him groomed or whatever,
and then the groomer was like,
hey, it's kind of crazy, you should really get him neutered.
And I'm like, well, yeah, but I mean,
he's, you know, he's,
I have to wait till stuff comes out.
And then, I kind of looked and there was,
what does that mean?
What does that mean?
You have to wait till he's bald.
You have to wait till he's bald there. And then I looked and I saw his balls, and I was like comes in. What does that mean? You have to get away from his balls. You have to get away from his balls out there.
And then I looked and I saw his balls and I was like,
oh my God, when did those come?
And then so like, I called the vet and I'm like,
look, can we schedule it?
They're like, well, are they completely out
or is it one or two?
And I'm like, I don't know.
So.
Get up in there.
So I went and Paula had a like grab them,
put them upside down and I used my phone and took
a bunch of photos of my dog's balls.
Why?
And why?
I emailed them.
Wait, what?
I emailed them to my vet.
Why does it have one ball up?
No, that's the thing you can't tell because they're so small in this hair.
So I emailed my vet and I'm like, look, want to warn you there are photos of my dogs balls here
So I don't want a lot of spaces in the email and then I attach them and I'm like is this are we at the point where we can
Who's all warning? I like that he won the vet with like a load of space
But with us like thousands of people watching they just got bulls in the face
And I mean that wasn't really the worst one now one was the the safe one. I forwarded all of them. And then they were like, well, okay, we looked at them. We're just not sure
if one's there or two. So you can either bring him in for us to test or you can just feel
yourself. And I was like, oh, well, when's your next appointment? I am not going to feel
my dog's balls. Isn't there a name for that when one of the bulls doesn't descend? Cryptor
kid. What? Crypt orchid.
Yeah, I mean, they don't need it. I know, right?
Like, cause that happened to my dog, my other dog,
like one of them, the balls didn't drop,
but they have to go in and like, do like real surgery.
Not gonna happen to people.
Yeah.
Where do they, where do they stop then?
They start at the top of the hair.
And then they slowly work their way down with gravity until they get to the
T. But not they just write that but small they're like up I think like in your abdomen and then they really they descend
Oh well for people they don't drop at the same time
Do you remember like seeing one of your balls dropping at the other?
I honestly I thought I had like blows my entire life. I didn't know where the weather happens before you have you can form memories
I know I think it happens with full uberty like like, they're kind of like all snuck in there
and then at some point they're like,
but boom, right?
I wasn't walking around.
No, can we look this up?
Like I pretty sure you're not gonna look up
little boys' balls dropping.
I'm not gonna look that up.
I don't want more images of balls in my mind.
I'm pretty sure I wasn't walking around.
It happens for most, most males by six months of age.
Yeah, no, like that's like the two different things.
Brand is revealing a lot about it.
Hold on, puberty, puberty they just, no, that's like two different things. My parents revealing a lot about it. Hold on, puberty.
Puby, they just think of that, don't you?
No, I think it's like a literal way.
Yeah, it's like, boom, boom.
Like, oh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the 99.2% of human males have their testicles descended by six months. There's like another phase of it.
So when people talk about that bulls drop in,
they're really only six months old.
They're not like 13 or 14.
It's a grew up, you baby.
Ha ha ha.
Can someone on Twitter?
You have a lot of talk.
I'm, yeah, but I don't want to spend this time.
Like I don't want to spend a lot of time
if you know you're wrong.
There's one more incrementing shit on the search history. Like I'm not. I was don't want to spend this time like I don't You don't want to spend a lot of time with you know you're wrong. Doesn't want more increment shit on the search history like I was still
Boys testicles at the time where I knew what my scrotum was I it was it was never empty
You're very
Empty it's just kind of like all right imagine you have
Water with no point in it imagine you fill up a water balloon right yeah
Imagine and you're you're like just kind of like holding it in your palm.
And then you let the bottom part fall, and then all of a sudden,
you have most of it here, and then it kind of, you know,
then it goes up.
Like it's, now it's like hanging and dangling in the wind.
Why are you on about?
What are you talking about?
I don't know.
I'm really puzzled.
I don't know.
Balls dropping during puberty.
How old are you when your balls drop?
Since that's ultimately what this is about.
It's in puberty.
No, I'm asking you,
Brian, did you have floppy sack when you were?
What's in this?
Let me look this up first to just make sure I'm not.
He's the thing.
If they don't drop and then you hit puberty,
how will they have a fit through the scrotal opening?
By then they figured it out. Like by then you've seen a pediatrician or
Like a doctor has worried about this by then so dogs is after squeeze
Baby baby testicles
No, I don't know. I don't know. I
Let's talk about like robot sex instead of balls. You know, I discovered today. It's not discovery, but
You know, I discovered today. It's that.
It was not a discovery.
But my name, let you gav, spelled backwards is Vag, right?
But Neil was playing audio where I said my name,
but he scrubbed the audio back and it was Fag.
Gav, so it's Vag spelled.
Hmm.
It's Fag said backwards.
Because the Fag is different. Yeah. Huh. Is it the bag said backwards? Because the cheese sound is different.
Yeah.
Cause it's a like a softy instead of a hard G.
It's not javin.
It's Gavin.
And I'm allowed to say that because that's a cigarette for me.
It's true.
Yeah.
He is clean.
According to English.stackexchange.com,
the wrinkly sack just behind the penis which holds the test is starts to hang a
little bit lower array from the body when what the fuck what are we that's not what we're talking about
I don't think that's what I'm saying yeah I'd like drop what's I'm saying though is it's a
visual difference at some point at pubic come. They become lower, yeah. I don't think anybody would have to get through your point though.
I think we, I don't know.
They become useful.
They become.
The x-of-aids.
Yeah, sure.
Fine, that's the reason, but they still like, you know,
drop and you're like, they don't drop at the same time.
And then you're like, whoa, why is one of them way bigger
than the other?
This is not right.
Because you don't know anything back then.
Because we didn't have, you know, resources like Wikipedia.
We just learn everything.
To be fair, everyone's asking you to stop.
Everyone on Twitter is just like branded.
Stop. You don't know what you're talking about.
To be fair, I thought my first direction was a bone misplace
that shot through.
You did not come on.
And I logic it down.
It's like, is that what they call the boner?
Like, does a bone like initiate?
Like I didn't know.
I like the new the tombona before you'd ever had an erection.
Yeah, you know, my head's some weird cousins and stuff.
Well, when you're, you know, in school, in the playground,
you're like boner, and older cousins, what's up?
You hear like words don't around, you know,
when you're younger at school, and you're like,
I don't know what that means.
I remember
Being in like elementary or something and really young in this guy brought like a penthouse, which is like pretty filthy
Photos and he like showed me something's like oh look that's a pussy and I'm like oh cool and in my head I'm like what the fuck is this? Oh
What is going on here
Oh, what is going on here?
Because you don't how are you?
I don't know I was in like second grade how old are you in second grade like eight?
Yeah, I was like fucked up. That's pretty young to see it. Yeah, a Vaginia, but you don't want to admit it to people that you don't know what it what it is
All right, yeah, I can understand, like, people using war, especially when you're young,
like, you don't want to, like, look uncool or be out of place.
Yeah, whereas now you just go with a pdf, you can learn, maybe, everything's explained
pretty well.
I do remember getting caught red handed, like, people are talking about South Park and,
like, six, greater, seventh, greater, something like that.
I didn't watch South Park.
My parents didn't let me, but I also just didn't have an interest in it.
And I did see one episode South Park and I quoted that
fucking episode like nonstop because I want to be cool.
Hey, I watch South Park too.
And then someone called me on there like,
have you only seen that one episode?
And I was like, what?
No.
I watch South Park all the time.
It was, yeah, it's really awkward.
Good story.
I mean, you could have said like.
I mean, those are the days where people got outraged at South Park, but at some point
culturally it just became, oh yeah, that's South Park, to where they can kind of say whatever
they want or do whatever they want.
Now, certain exceptions like Scientology, some people were crazy about, but it's weird.
They still did it though.
Yeah, they still did it, but it's like so many other people, I mean, on the web or like
us, like there's so many things that if we did, it would rub into like this really big, big thing,
but you know, they, it's like one of those things, oh, it's just South Park, of course.
I think it's because they get burnt out, I guess, about complaining.
I think South Park is for the most part very clever. It's very well written.
And it can be viewed as a very poignant social satire.
Yeah.
Whereas lots of times, I think honestly,
if I were to try to make some of those jokes,
I'm not as good as those guys.
So that's why it just doesn't come across.
I agree with that, but I think the people
who were leading the campaign against the material
in that show didn't really care about that.
It was more of the fact like our kids can be exposed
to something like this rather than
Well, this isn't a you know satire parody in that. It's also not showing ten different kids. Yeah, I don't get much
Everybody I was in junior high when it came out. We all watched it right, but I'm saying like that's
Not in my opinion side of valicum place. It's you know, there's ratings on television shows and you know
Someone should know what they're getting into.
Parents complaining about anything
that they still think their children should see
shouldn't let their children see it.
Like, I never think that that's a good,
logical complaint.
Of course, none of us have kids,
so with the fuck do we know, though?
It's true.
I'm sure people will be very quick to point that out.
Yeah.
Do we have any beer that isn't,
that scum on it? It's remind me when I was little, we were doing to point that out. Yeah. Do we have any beer that isn't got scum on it?
So remind me, when I was little,
we were doing a doctor's juice thing
and we made green eggs and ham.
So they actually like put food dye into the green eggs.
What a good green tea.
The white.
What?
The green?
We made scrambled eggs and we put the green in it.
Oh, scrambled eggs.
Yeah, yeah.
And I remember eating it and I saw my teachers
with a couple of teachers and I said, oh, these are so good. I wish I could throw them up and eat them again and I waited and they didn't hear
But I think they did hear it so I said it again, but louder and then they were like ha ha ha
You know as if they had heard it and thought it was fun
But then I think I in that moment I realized that wasn't a funny joke and they were just kind of like this moment
They were trying to like forget about it and let you escape with dignity
and then you threw it out there again.
Yeah, yeah.
I remember that when.
Yeah.
The important thing is you tried.
Half my stories are like that.
You're not doing well tonight.
No, you're a little off your game.
Brand just dominated with his ball though.
While that on the part.
No, no, because I want to make him even more uncomfortable.
Yeah, but that's mean though.
You should say it often. Hey, what's up? What's up? No, he's trying to inspire him. No, no, because I want to make it even more uncomfortable. Yeah, but that's mean, though. You should say it often.
Hey, what's up?
No, you're trying to inspire them.
Yeah, do better.
Like, I feel like going up to someone
off to something's thing.
That wasn't your best performance.
It's way better than you're not nailing it right now.
Well, it's like an athletic event.
Like, do you think in the, you know,
if someone's playing basketball,
the coach is like, going great, going great.
And he's like, man, I can't wait
after the game to say like these guys sucked.
Yeah, tell them now that way they can do something
and correct it.
Yeah, he's gonna be in your head about it.
It's true.
Maybe that'll help though.
Hmm, it's fine.
Hey, let me read this right here.
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What do you like to do a lot of talk snacks. Number will be like when he dies.
Yeah, fuck if I know the podcast.
Always happens like it's it's it's a little intimidating to think about this.
It's crazy with everything that you currently do on a regular basis.
One of them will be our last.
I don't know.
Like when the company like ends or something or what?
I know.
I just always think that when I'm playing a video game, like a game like Skyrim, I'll play for a hell of a lot of time
and then I'll put it down and then maybe a few months later
I'll come back to it.
But there will be a time where maybe it's already happened
where I will never play Skyrim again.
Right.
And it's just weird to think about.
I might have put it down in Tennis Comeback to it
and maybe that was it for the rest of my life.
It's like that thread on Reddit that was really popular, that's like one day your
parents picked you up and put you down for the last time.
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh, that's hard.
Yeah, it's weird to think about it like in that kind of context.
Yeah.
What podcast number is this?
This is 419.
Okay, so I'm going to make a guess and say podcast, 1,979 is gonna be your last podcast.
That's like 30 years from now?
Yeah.
Why?
I just feel like you got 30 more years of podcasting.
A valuable podcast.
He's not talking or years of now.
He's out of my misery.
He's a...
Like, it's intimidating, man.
Every Monday, I gotta fucking...
We gotta pause the halfway point, right? I don't know
I don't know since like the whole decade. It's been on
56 in the year right 52 you're close. Fuck me. Sorry
I was I was in counting the special podcast that we do every now and then those are things
We did it once we did one every week once
We I'd say yours is gonna be We did it once. We did one every week once.
I'd say yours is gonna be,
hold on, hold on, stop cutting to me because I don't know what I'm doing right now.
We have someone who's 70, who's president.
I think you could be doing.
You're possibly late 60.
I'd say like 300 some podcasts from now.
So you're giving me like six years?
Yeah.
To live or?
No, it's for life. I feel bad guys, I would have guessed way less. I don't know. I'd give me like
65 more maybe. Jesus only like a year. She. I don't know. To learn, Bren or Gavin has
a very little thought about me. It's not a little thought. I just think you'll move on.
No, just like the thing I've done the longest. So I have a cousin. I would be.
I don't work on RBB anymore.
You in it?
Yeah, but I mean, let's just do a voice.
You constantly spin off, which is really impressive.
I think more, and then you need a person at the company.
You kind of like do something, start it up, get it going,
and then spin off, and like reinvent yourself.
Like a lady Gaga.
I gotta find you if you can do it.
Well, you usually, like, I've been doing this for five years.
I'm no good at this.
Yeah, like, we should really hire someone who knows what they're doing to do this.
I think at one point, correct my reminder.
I was all over everything.
Well, I feel like every department we have originally came from one person.
Yeah.
Because it was so few people, like, tech is a whole department.
But for a while, that was you.
Events is a whole department.
That was also you.
Like, there's a whole merch department. I used to be Jeff. It's crazy, like all of these
huge departments, sometimes splitting into multiple departments, originally stem from one person's
job. Because I think it's like we start doing something and we kind of think it's going to
insult the marketing department, but so if you left. We figure out the best way we could kind of
do something and then we're like, all right, well let's hire somebody who's good. Yeah. It's like well obviously we can't make this work.
Yeah.
So I went out to, I've been trying to make a concerted effort to go out to the movie theater
more frequently.
Oh, how are we going to the new?
Meal or one?
I haven't been down there yet.
I think it's been two packed probably with Sonu.
It's not on it.
Two packed.
Check it out.
It's all about regal theaters.
What? Regal.
Regal sucks.
So last weekend I went and I saw Get Out, which was awesome.
And then yesterday I went and I saw Logan.
It was really good, I thought.
He thought it was good.
Yeah, it was good.
Yeah, but of course I did the fucking stupid thing.
I wanted to beat myself up.
So what was it on Friday, Friday evening?
Adventure in a little. I was talking to Esther,
it's like, you wanna go see Logan on Sunday?
She's like, yeah.
So I opened up the draft house app on my phone.
I'm like, oh, there's a 1pm showing, 1pm.
When we see one town Sunday, she's like, yeah.
Bought the tickets, didn't think about it.
Sunday showed up at the theater,
I was like, I pick up my tickets,
they swipe credit card, they hand it to me.
They're like, all right, theater three.
Walk over to theater three, and I'm like, huh, it says, they swipe credit card, they hand it to me, they're like, all right, the other three, walk over to the other three,
and they're like, huh, it says,
Kong's go island on it.
It lights.
That's weird.
They're like, my tickets again, like, no, 110,
this is the right time.
It's the wrong movie.
Maybe they moved it to another screen,
so like, walk around the draft house, like,
no, they're not showing it at 110,
look at my ticket again, it's 110.
On Saturday.
Oh, no.
So I had to go back to, so there was like quite good about that though.
They usually like...
Yeah, they were really good, but I told Esther,
like, listen, I fucked up.
I was drunk.
I bought it for Saturday instead of Sunday.
I was like, let's just go.
And she was like, well, why don't you go tell them
that you made a mistake and maybe they can refund
to your money or give you a range.
I was like, I don't want to go admit to them
that I fucked up.
I don't want to go up to them and be like,
listen, it's my fuck up.
Can you help me fix the thing that that's my
But they absolutely did yeah, I think because it's Austin and most people are drunk all the time when they buy movie tickets
They have to be like yeah, you got the wrong day, but that happens like seven or eight times a day
I felt really back then was then no one probably sat there on that Saturday show every front empty seat and they lost revenue
It's like so dumb have you ever
on that Saturday show, every Friday, it's an empty seat and they lost revenue, it's like, so dumb.
Have you ever, like, just kind of like been thinking
about something else and like drive through like fast food
and like, you know, okay, Sarah Payas, you're like,
all right, here's this, and then you're like kind of waiting
and then you just drive off and you're like,
oh, I forgot my food.
That's never happened.
But, my way to embarrassed to go back and ask for my food.
Sometimes you just like, just not even thinking
just like completely zone out on something else.
Guys, you lost like $25.
No, you ended up getting it back, right?
Yeah.
So my most recent trick to San Francisco,
my girlfriend was out there.
It's gonna fly out Friday,
and then I was gonna fly back.
Do you book a fly on the wrong day?
Sunday, like late late at night,
and then just get back Monday morning, right?
I booked a fucking flight for Sunday at 12.35 AM.
Thank you.
Oh, this is Sunday night, Monday morning,
and it ended up being Sunday morning.
And I like, I remember opening up my phone
and looking and it was like check in time,
for your next flight in Dallas to Austin and I was like,
fuck me, so I just went for like four hundred bucks to just went straight down the toilet.
Gone. Oh, that's awful. Fucking gone. It's like Southwest Manning.
I've been messed up. Every time the story about the guys I saw at the Seattle airport who had a similar thing.
The ball cap, it goes. Okay, I'm telling you that was.
It's one of my favorite things Did the other bottle ticket for,
let me show up to the airport a day late?
Oh yeah.
I don't know how that happens.
Cause you get so many reminders.
Yeah.
They're like checking now.
I was like, I was in such a rush
and I just blew through it.
And I also got,
I'm saying like, I don't know how you show up
to the airport a day late.
Oh.
Oh, I mean, I did, you know, so.
Oh, the reminders.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
It was because it was at like at the middle of the night.
So I was getting those reminders like
when I was a fucking asleep.
See, if I told the story, you guys
you'd be going off and me and saying,
I'm like the dumbest person in the world.
No, they pity me because.
I'm not, this is, did it understand how time works?
Which I, you know, fuck up's happened,
but what, fuck up's happened with me and I'm just like the
the dumbest person in the world. I just don't understand.
It's one to yell at you.
That we're all dumb though. That's why we're on this podcast.
That was just an hammer trip in general.
Yeah, I bought tickets on the wrong day.
I watched Gus once try and turn on a PC. He kept thumb in the power button. He's like,
it's not working. I can't, I can't turn it on. And he's the tech guy for the whole company.
And I was like, well, you got to turn the power turn it on. And he's the tech guy for the whole company.
And I was like, well, you gotta turn the power supply on him.
Like the switch on the back of the PC, that was off.
And he was like, I forgot about that.
That's really embarrassing.
I was getting told a story.
But it was like one of the first times I ever came over
and I was like, oh, this guy's, this guy knows his shit.
He's in charge of the tech for the whole company.
He's like, damn it.
Damn it. I might have been drunk then also. You might have been. And I was like, he's like, damn it. Damn it.
I might have been drunk then also.
You might have been.
And I was like, I didn't even bother checking the back.
I was like, I see my nose.
Yeah, and I looked at him.
I was like, maybe he doesn't know that it's not turned on.
You're crashing down.
You're like, I know.
He's like, I know.
And that day I lost or respect for you.
And now we're very good friends.
We had the point that we're coming back.
Early enough where you were kind of scared
to mention something because you didn't want to, I'm gonna get mad at you. So you just like sneak had the point that we're coming back. Early enough where you were kind of scared to mention something,
because you didn't want to make a matter.
So you just like sneak in the back and like turn it on.
I think I was really scared to talk to you.
I don't think so.
I'm a friendly guy.
I mean, you were like base level mean already.
So it was always like,
I'd already been used to it just over like,
online interaction.
So in real life when the mean this came through,
it's like, I'm used to this already.
I think you were friendly to me when I started.
I only noticed stuff that you were mad about
when we did podcasts.
Save it all, ball it up.
Save it all, ball it up.
I think I broke down my walls with you
by killing you with kindness.
Do you like?
Do you like?
Yeah, but aside from that,
I was always really, really overly nice to Gus.
Like, hey Gus, have a great day or I'd be like,
I hate that shit.
I hate it so much.
I always approach Gus and be like, can you do me favor?
And he's like, yeah, what is it?
And be like, can you have a great day?
And he just like,
I'm so annoying.
I can't be mad at it.
So annoying.
I mean, were you trying to piss him off?
I was trying to like lovingly,
like a little brother kind of piss him off.
To where he's like, he couldn't be mad, but you know.
I can be mad.
Was this when you were an intern?
Yeah, yeah, it took me a couple of months to adjust
and stuff, and then once I started warming up to people
then I was like, it's like,
little little brother, farting on people,
and when are you gonna adjust to me?
I thought we'd adjusted until last night
when you were just like,
you know, fucking awkward in the movie theater.
I was like,
gather our friends and do a movie. Well, what do you want I was like, I guess we got our friends in the movie.
What do you want me to do?
I guess he doesn't want to talk to me in this movie.
We sat down to watch a movie, went for it to start and then blame goes,
what happened with us, Gavin?
I was like, hey, what about?
What happened to our love, Gavin?
Nothing, what do you mean?
His love in the roosters, he killed it.
Yeah, I think that's the thing.
What are you talking about?
I'm just gonna tell you where you used to watch movies together.
We watched the Matrix together.
We watched The Movie Us all the time.
We watched One Last Night.
You're acting right into your house all the time.
You know, we used to party together.
I don't know if it's like a real thing you've created in your head or whether you're just
like being funny dude, but let it ballets.
No.
We've separated over the years it's we
are close to the devil. Stuff you know sometimes you company gets big and you
just you don't see the friends much and it just happens it's all right
Kevin. You all want to work it out? Should we get someone in here? I feel like
this conversation and last night's conversation. Well what separate us? Yeah it's
a reputable now so it doesn't really get worse. Play night I like you play. I don't this conversation and last night's conversation, well what separate us? Yeah, it's irreparable now.
So it can only get worse.
Blaine, I like you, Blaine.
I don't think so, I don't know, like you do.
We should be.
And I like when you direct stuff.
Like $1.00, but.
I did a million dollars, but
episode without Blaine directing the other day.
Who was it Drew?
Yeah, it was weird.
Yeah, yep.
I'm getting fucking busy.
Juiced a funny guy.
Yeah, I thought you did a great job. Mm-hmm.
I have a theory that if Dan came to Austin, he would probably be one of my best friends.
I'd probably hang out there a whole lot.
What makes you say that?
Man, yeah.
It's like when people like think that they're friends with the people that watch a god TV.
Oh, jeez.
You know, you think I watch your content?
Like, you and I would be best friends if we met.
No, based on interactions that I've had with Dan,
I think that we would get along swimmingly.
Be sure you'd run out like five or six times.
No, we hung out more than that.
Every time I see him, we like had to be like,
we should already get along swimmingly.
Fuck, we went, uh, tubing down the river together.
He met my old girlfriend and we hung out and had this great day
and you weren't there because you fucking,
it, ducked out
I mean, Dan we'd be great friends. I'll text him right now. It's really nice. Everybody though. I don't think I have his number
Just Dan have you great friends. You really don't have a Twitter. I don't know maybe I don't trust that because he got hacked that one time So I don't trust that it would be Dan talking to me. Yeah
It's gonna be a compromising information you can ascend them
My number I guess
It's pretty not just getting you phone number. Yeah, true
How long have you had your phone number? Oh, man. This is my first ever phone number really? Yeah, how are you?
How do you see how to like a year? No, I've had it for since I was a how old was I?
You're so proud of that. Fifth grade?
You got a phone number in fifth grade.
It was a middle school.
Probably a little 12, 13, 12, 13.
Why were you 13 in fifth grade?
I said middle school. I changed it to middle school.
Yeah. So that's about the 12, 13 region I think. I don't know.
Yeah. It's a good
number. How old were you when you got your first phone number? I was probably 15.
Yeah, I did not get 32-10. Yeah, I had that one too.
It was about 14. It was one of those things. Parents get you only for emergencies and then
you just don't listen and use it a lot and then they have like the
printed out bill at the end of the month.
Oh my god.
You cost us like $500.
Is that a part of everybody's childhood that you have that talk and be like we're
giving this to you.
No, better not fuck around with this.
This is only for emergency.
Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
You're just saying anything to get that phone and then once you got it, it's like 10
days.
I mean, just pay as you go.
Not exist here. I don't know how to sound as popular. Wait, it's like 10. I mean, does pay as you go, not exist here?
I don't know how to sound as popular.
Wait, it's like everyone's first phone in English
that is pay as you go.
It's like you slop a tenor on it
and then once you've used it.
That's it?
Well, planes are a lot different than they are now.
Plains?
Plants.
Oh, plants.
Yeah.
Yeah, so it was one of those things like only for emergencies.
I changed my number when I got to Austin
because I like having local numbers where I live.
Well, like it's annoying to be like,
have an area code that's like different.
I feel like it doesn't really matter
as much anymore these days since everyone has
like contacts just stored in a phone.
You're just like touching a person's name.
That was a thing that was super weird for me
when I moved here is that a mobile phone
can have an area code.
And you can tell where the person is from
based on their phone number.
Actually, it's always like, oh, Dallas, huh? It took me a long time it took me a long time. The first couple of times I went to Australia,
they do it like the UK. It took me a long time to figure out what the different
codes meant, like the different numbers. Yeah, like any number in the UK that starts with
like 0 1 or 0 2 is a landline and every number starts with 0 7 is a mobile.
But the entire country starts with O7.
It's not like different mobile number area codes.
So you have no idea where someone's going from.
I heard the biggest crock of shit, which was a veteran from LA meets this girl, things
are going great, they're talking and stuff like that.
And like they're really hitting it off and then they decided to swap numbers.
And she saw that his area code was from like one of the slumier parts of LA I guess which is like it's LA's you know it's nice
throughout I'm sure they have their nice and their bad parts and she just like walked off straight
up because like out in LA they that's a sign fell episode it happened to him as well so what
determines your area code is it is where you buy the SIM card? Where you buy the phone? I think it's your address.
Yeah, it's your address.
But then I couldn't get a different area code
if I went to California bought a SIM card.
Mm, you probably could.
I think you just call and request a new number
and say this is the area code I want.
Yeah, you can do that.
You can do that.
I think confusing those, they keep adding area codes to places.
Like Houston has like,
I feel like I finally saw
like a commercial vehicle driving in Austin
with the 737 area code.
Really?
Yeah, and that's been around for like,
almost two or three years now at this point.
Yeah, they tried to give Apollo one
when we changed numbers and was like,
it defeats the purpose of what I'm trying to do here.
And like we had to go in there and she had to talk to like this
like guy who thought she was really cute
and he was like, I'll give you a deal.
Don't worry, I'll fix it.
And I was like, well, whatever it takes.
Yeah.
No, it's not a big deal to me.
Like I said, like I never even realized.
It's just a name in a phone book.
Yeah, your code isn't Austin.
Yes, Dallas.
You we don't really, I mean,
I took you to get a lot like me.
We haven't talked as long a relationship.
It's quite as
And the problem with the friendships this company everyone's too busy focusing on the status of the friendship
And like how it is but just like just have a passing friendship and nothing will happen to it. It's fine. Okay, you know
I'm like I never get on my apartment. So I'm never gonna walk past you and not say hello
Unless you like punch me one day or something.
It was true.
How'd you define our friendship?
Is that our friendship though?
I'd say the same.
I'd say we're like, hey, what's up Brendan?
That's the extent of friendship though.
It was our friendship.
Remember when we had a secret handshake?
No, that happened last time.
Did it happen to us?
Yeah, we had a secret handshake.
Oh, he's just chatting shit,
and he's doing the weird thing again.
I'm so sick of that.
See, this is what we forgot about him.
This is what makes me walk away from a friendship.
Just like, I mean, it's gonna get weird
if I wanna go the other way.
I'll pretend to be on the phone.
Oh no!
So your definition of a friendship is saying,
hello, as you passed by.
No, not a friendship.
I would define it as like,
I'll help that person out.
They ask for it.
That's very neat.
Or if I hold the door open for you.
I hold the door open for anyway.
So friendship is it really?
Yeah, then the friends are like round of strangers.
I hate when I hold the door open for like someone like a stranger
and they don't say thanks.
It's a good noxious.
Oh, there's walk-by like they're entitled to that.
I make a good point and say, you're welcome.
Oh. Oh.
Take it and stride.
See, I'm too English to do that. That'd be cool. I would love to, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, time that that happened, I'd be like, oh fuck, I'm in that weird area
where it's like too far, too short.
And then the girl laughed and just fine.
And then like the other day I was climbing
I was at the top of a wall.
So I touched my hand, I was like,
oh, we just had a moment, you know,
it's like you just diffuse the situation.
You run up to somebody in the hallway
and then you do that little thing,
and it's like, ah, we're dancing
and then end of, you know, otherwise you're just like,
oh.
It's just, just like. Just like, does it make you feel weird when, you know, otherwise you're just like
Just make it feel weird when you know if you're hanging out with somebody and you say goodbye
It's like all right goodbye, bye bye bye, and then all of a sudden you realize you're both going in the same direction Yeah, but you've already said like it
Jason harder who we we use a lot for stuff. He was hanging out at the
Restraught on my apartment complex. Yeah, and you know And it was a natural thing where we got outside and he was like,
oh, okay, bye.
And then the garage is the same place as Paul and I's apartment.
And so she started walking in the same direction they were going.
And I had to grab her arm and I was like, no, no, no, we already
take the bite.
We have to go this way.
But that's like five minutes out of the way.
I was like, no, we can't go.
You just call that out.
I would be in that situation and be like, where are you following me? Ah ha ha ha ha ha and then everything's fine. It's okay
Awkward should happens people are awkward so is worse when both people go into a lift and you literally can't go any other way
I've never had that happen before
Also, we don't have left anymore. I think he needs it. I'm a elevator? Yeah. Oh, I mean, apparently we've been good friends
and I'm English.
Oh shit, he got it.
Yeah, the friendship burn.
He nailed me on that one.
I did see a funny on Twitter moments.
They're like, people are in an uproar
about Twitter or Uber and Lyft not being an Austin
and someone made a really good point in saying like,
in an event filled with tech people,
just people that are like all about tech,
they can't figure out their own way around Austin
with the ride shares and stuff like that.
No, it's annoying.
It is, but yeah, it's, I don't know, it's weird.
I won't get into it,
because obviously I'll just rant,
but you're something where...
Yeah, you're a little politics thing of it.
There's like Uber can operate in like 400 cities,
and not this one, and Austin thinks it's so right,
ethically, and they're the only one or one of the
few that seems ever wrong.
But I'll leave it at that.
I'm not going to bitch about it.
But it is funny.
Like, people, some like reporters, like very popular tech reporters, have been commenting
not so much on that, but how much animosity they get from local Austin people about commenting
about that.
What do you mean? Like on Twitter, people just like, we'll attack the people here from out of town. much animosity they get from local Austin people about commenting about that.
What do you mean?
Like on Twitter, people just like,
we'll attack the people here from out of town
that complain about Uber, lift.
Like they just like viciously, I mean, it's Twitter.
You know, you're gonna have like haters and stuff,
but it just like makes the city look like super shitty.
I'm not a fan of the ride services
ride share services that we have as a replacement. Fawson. Yeah. I'm not a fan of the ride share services that we have
as a replacement.
Fossin.
Yeah, I'm not great.
They didn't work that well.
I haven't found one that I'm totally happy.
I thought that I used it very frequently.
The other day I used a card to go.
It had been a long time since I used card to go.
Did you guys use that?
I used to, I let it last.
Is that when you drove up to the
the Drove Up?
Yeah, it's when I drove up on the Drove Up.
So I knew that they had those little smart cars
and I drove up and you saw me in that shady little car.
And then I went to get Chipotle that day for lunch
and I parked it.
And I saw a car to go that was a Mercedes GLK parked there
and I was like, oh shit, so I just canceled my
little smart car and I switched over to the Mercedes
and I was like, oh much better. Just for the sake of it. That guy was probably like, oh shit, so I just canceled my little smart car and I switched over to the Mercedes, like, oh, much better.
Just for the sake of it.
That guy was probably like,
fuck, I want to get back to work in this piece of shit.
So is it any different amount of money?
I think it cost like a little more, but not much.
But I will say, I was a little upset at people.
Like I got in that smart car and it was a little dirty,
like a gum wrapper, stuff like that.
And they're like, oh, I like who would leave
their shit like this?
So in our park at Govergett and the Mercedes,
it was even filthier.
That was not what I had,
but that is my car to go,
I'm a Mercedes car to go.
But it was just filthier.
There was trash all over.
It was like an empty water bottle in the passenger seat.
Because everyone's clambering for that car.
The door well was just like shoved with like water burger wrappers.
It was like an empty vitamin pack thrown into the back seat,
like GNC receipts all over the floorboards.
Like, what the fuck does this?
Brows do, like GNC.
Cheat that car like that and then just leave it.
Like not even take your fucking trash.
Someone has to clean it.
Like what do they think's gonna happen?
The car's gonna fucking magically incinerate all of the goddamn trash.
Clean it up, you fucking animals. Yeah, like you have some like God-given ride,
because you register for the service,
you just, it's like you almost have to actively try to make that car look shittier.
That should be how long are you using it?
And I looked at that car, it had 900 miles on it.
It was like still a brand new car.
That should be cameras in the car,
they're in the ceiling that just take pictures when someone is done with it,
of the state of it, and they'll just penalize that account.
It used to be that...
I think they're too desperate for it.
It used to be when you finished your rental on the screen in the car, it would ask if there
was any new damage on the car, it would ask if the car was clean or dirty.
But it doesn't ask if the car's clean or dirty anymore.
I don't know.
I guess everyone was so present, yes, it's done.
I mean, I'm surprised they're still in business in Austin after Uber.
Because they were operating before Uber and Lyft for like a couple of years.
I don't know how they're still in business.
That's why I stopped using them because I was like, well, it's just way more convenient.
I don't have to walk a mile to find a car.
Last night when I was going to Paramount Theater, was that where it was?
Oh, that was where I was like, let's hang out and then you left. Yeah.
Wait, what? I went to the movie with you. I mean, after that you didn't want to hang out with me afterwards.
No, I just want to make it because I remember I remember very I remember very clearly because Ashley was like, all right
Well, I guess we're all ahead now you get to know yeah, yeah, and Ashley looked at you and she's like, do you need a ride home?
Great and you both just walked off and was like
I'll see I'll see you guys later. It's cool. I walked home. She took me home in the G wagon and Ashley looked at you and she's like, do you need to ride home? Great, and you both just walked off and was like,
yeah, I'll see you guys later.
It's cool.
I walked home.
She took me home in the G wagon.
Oh, that's a cool thing.
That's a nice guy.
It's like a very nicer version of my Jeep.
But oh, you're so demanding.
I mean, when it comes to like how you're treated
in any social situations.
You're very kind of getting invited to.
Yeah, you're very kind of high maintenance.
I'm glad I'm not dating you, but I'm happy.
I'm a braised at date.
Ask a lot of, yeah, no, it's great.
It's easy.
I'm so easy to date.
What was like, what's the selling point?
Yeah, what makes you easy to date?
What does that mean?
Oh man, I do all the activities that they want to do.
So you can make a decision on your own?
No, that's not your I can make decisions.
How do you do them because you're excited and you want to do them?
Or do you just try to please?
A little bit both.
Most of the time it's because I want to, because I, you know, a lot of it I've been dating for like over a year now.
I mentioned a lot of similar interests.
A lot of similar images.
You know, we can do sometimes where we have like really active outdoorsy kind of like,
let's go out and experience this thing, you dribble on your shirt.
And then there's other times where it's like, hey, let's stay in and beat a video game.
You know, it's like,
it's the last video game you beat with her.
We played coming home, what was that called?
We've gone home.
Gone home.
And then we also played something where you're like
a FBI agent and you're doing some investigation.
Oh, is that a her story?
Yes, her story. Her story is so good. Have you played PT with her? Oh, is that a her story? Yes, her story.
Her story is so good.
Have you ever played PT with her?
Yes, that was our first date.
That was a...
That's awesome.
I don't know if I should be to say all this stuff
is kind of getting to our personal stuff.
It, yeah, we played PT with you guys.
Look at that possible.
Did you lose your virginity while playing PT?
No, I'm like, you're here.
It's gone, we've gone before PT.
No, so basically we were hanging out,
that was like your first time hanging out,
and like you don't go like,
we've been talking to each other for a while,
distance wise, and we've been,
so we're like, you know, let's go get pizza,
let's go, you know, like, oh, let's play this game
and stuff like that, but we hadn't like kissed yet,
and I remember in my mind, I was like,
I'm not gonna kiss her until like,
well after we beat PT, well, it took for us for fucking ever to beat PT.
We finally did it and then after that
it was when our first kiss took place.
So what was the moment, like that moment
where you're playing PT and something happened
and you knew this, this was.
No, it wasn't during PT, it was like after,
because PT's not a very romantic game.
Yeah, which is why I'm confused.
Right.
That's probably- That's probably- That's half of the reason why I didn't wanna sell which is why I'm confused. Right. That's probably in the sink.
That's half of the reason why I didn't want to sell
the stories because I'm not going to.
I guess there's certain times where like the lights pulse red.
I guess that's kind of romantic.
Romantic.
Yeah, they have the cue bulbs.
You love some.
What?
I know I can't do that or Paula freaks out.
Like she just like I can't.
Oh, after the incident.
Yeah, the pulsing.
Oh, I think I was thinking you'd like,
we'll continue the room and shift everything red. And be like, uh, uh, uh, no, that's purple. Oh, after the incident, the pulsing. Oh, I think you like walking through the room and shift everything red and be like, uh, yeah, no, it's purple.
That's just that's just shak.
I got to, yeah, the red freaks you out.
Have you seen that news show in Comedy Central, the high court?
It's a it's with it's got Doug Benson in it. And it's like the people's court except, uh,
Doug Benson gets really high and then makes his decisions while smoking marijuana.
And the episodes are only like 15 minutes long.
So it's like the people come in, they argue,
he deliberates, so he goes into the back with the bailiff
and they like smoke out of a bong,
then he comes out and makes his decision.
So what are these like, is it just typical like,
oh, they own me money.
Right, so that person borrowed my car
and owes me $5,000.
That's what I said.
That person borrowed money from me and they got to pay me back.
So it's like, it's always tough like that.
And then.
So is this upheld in the actual court of law?
I see.
No, no, no, no.
What they do is they just make an agreement ahead of time that whoever is on the show,
like they are going to abide by whatever the ruling is.
One of the times, I forgot what the exact circumstance was,
but like one person had taken out a payday loan
to give another person money, and it's like,
they were getting ripped off.
So like, their decision was just like,
you know, the show we're gonna pay off your payday loan,
and we'll just help you get a loan
with a reasonable APR.
It's like, oh, that's really nice.
They went out of their way to like,
help this person who's getting screwed over it,
like, because they made a bad deal. Like, there's no reason for them to have to do that. oh, that's really nice. They went out of their way to help this person who's getting screwed over it, because they made a bad deal.
There's no reason for them to have to do that.
Anyway, it's really funny.
They have so many like 15 minutes long.
You're seeing high maintenance?
No.
It's just in terms of like really small, consumable media and stuff like that.
High maintenance, they kind of range as a web series.
It ranges from like five to like 15 minutes, but it's basically about a weed dealer.
And just like, it's, the story isn't about the weed dealer.
You don't even know the guy's name.
It's just the story is about who he's dealing with weed too.
I think you really enjoy it,
because it's like really funny and really well written.
But I think they picked it up from HBO.
I'm looking up right now.
Hi, Maine.
Hi, Maine.
Hi, Maine.
It's the Mexican Comedy Television web series created
by husband and wife team Benson
Claire and Katya.
It's a lip felt.
Yeah.
It's a Vimeo November 2012.
If you can airing in HBO in September 2016.
So it's already on HBO.
You can already see it.
Yeah.
It's good.
I would suggest it.
It's a good web series.
Hmm.
Let that transition to television.
So we finally have a release date speaking of HBO.
We finally have a release date for season seven of Game of Thrones.
It was July 16th.
Yeah, that's awesome. It's way later than I think they had a weight because they needed
a shoot. A lot of the scenes in winner. It's like seven episodes now, right?
Is it only seven episodes? Yeah, which means the standard procedure, really good ninth
episode of the season. What's going to happen with that? So they're going to have really good ninth episode of the season what's gonna happen with that?
So they're gonna have no good episodes this season.
Unless episode two of the next season is a good one.
Or do you do it like episode six like the season the one before the last.
I mean, what's the logic there Kevin?
Well usually again with throwing season is 10 episodes and nine is the one where like
freezing happens. Yeah, yeah, in like almost every season.
This one's only eight episodes.
Seven. Sorry, just not getting caught up on my
Yeah, there's two more seasons at it. It's that it's that confirmed that it's only seven episodes
That's kind of we're getting a guess from off camera. What so is this like is this it? Was this the last season IMDB?
No, I think it's two more seasons. Okay, huh? It's weird because like TV shows used to be you'd have hour long TV shows
That worked like 22 episodes in a season and then now
It's like oh six
You know where we can't have we need like you know a year and a half it's going like the British way. Yep the bridge
So quality of a quantity
Yeah, I mean it does say seven episodes in West
In like until 2018.
Is that correct?
Probably.
You didn't like those Nikki and Paulo episodes and last.
They said, so he's gonna go on it.
Season eight's gonna be six episodes.
It says, uh, yeah, Paul Nikki and Paula forgot about that.
Just like classic filler episode.
It's almost at the point where like they know they are making a useless filler episode.
But he was in Westwood.
Oh, yeah, that was that guy.
Wasn't it?
Yeah, he's always seen he's naked.
Well, I mean, they weren't naked.
That doesn't really narrow it down.
He was naked a lot.
He was the the bad guy.
Yeah, the robber.
And he was in 300.
Who the who?
Boldhead.
Paulo from, did you watch lost?
No, Rodrigo.
I dropped out after season one, and it was a live actually fucking
Snowbear before before the Nikki Apollo episode didn't they like sprinkle them in yeah
He was like some of the episodes like they had lines and stuff. Yeah, who the fuck are these background characters that are yeah
I remember liking that episode. I thought it was okay. Well one more they died
They died I don't I don't think they well. Yeah, one more they died? They died? I don't think they, well, yeah, I guess they did.
I mean, I remember like, yeah, the first time they come in,
they just randomly run up to this conversation.
And like, Kate's like, hey, Nikki and Paulo, and you're like,
what?
Yeah.
And then I think like, they do a montage where you see
other stuff that happened in the show,
and they're all
of a sudden like now into it.
But yeah, classic filler episodes.
So I got chewed out the other day by a random stranger at a place in Austin.
I mean, being obnoxious.
No, I was, I just made like a very simple comment.
We were at a was place.
It's on Old Torfner, South Lamar.
I can't remember the name, but it's like a
They only have beer most of the seatings outside and they also serve pizza. Oh, I'll serve your garden. Okay. Yeah, so
I can answer the people who just described stuff. That's what I do this podcast. Nobody knows what the fuck they're talking about coffee shop on East MLK
Be news serves Pete Wow
Yeah, damn go Pete. Wow. That's right. Yeah. Damn.
Go ahead.
Sorry.
So, um, fuck me.
They serve pizza, and you know, it was good.
I was ordering it.
I kind of commented like, yeah, you know, I like the indie places around town.
Like, don't get me wrong.
I go to a lot of these cool Austin hit places.
But in the day, like, sometimes I still really like Papa John's, like, deep dish, the
cheesy bread, and this guy next to us overheard me and started like
Be rating me like I was just like super corporate hate indie business, and I'm like look man
I've done my share here. Were you wearing a Donald's cap at the time?
Am I what cap? No, I'm just joking fucking
And
He like wouldn't give it up.
And I'd make stuff like, yeah, I mean, you know,
like they're, they're freaking special garlic sauce
is amazing.
And at one point, he like shouted and called me like,
what do you like, ISIS?
And I was just like, this is probably some like
stereotypical Austin asshole that's only been
in the city for like two years.
And, unless you're going to like the most indie places,
I'm sorry.
At the end of the day.
Some big corporate companies, they have good products.
Papa Jones is good.
Yeah, they're big companies for a reason, right?
Yeah, or sometimes they're big companies for the right reasons.
I don't say there are four reasons.
Like they have a product that people buy.
Yeah, but have you interacted with people like that before?
Like Austin, like, oh, if you're not Indy,
you're like, I think you're worth it.
I'm not that extreme.
I would have just destroyed that guy.
And like, who the fuck asked you?
You know, like, he's the guy.
Is he like a tie-ed-old racist man?
No, he's like 32, like, long beard, mustache.
What?
I mean, it's like, he was the exact stereotype.
How long did to go on
It's like five minutes, but then he kept coming back in the conversation. Oh my god And I was like I know you're think you're being funny here, but you just come on to you
You just sound like a huge douche. Did you do you say that's what?
We like no because I was with I was with Paula
I didn't want it to become a thing like it took every ounce of like effort not to like say something to them.
Fucking dumb.
Like what does he care if I can button into someone else's
conversation?
No, it's just one of those things like those, yeah.
I would have recorded him.
It's those people that complain about like East Austin
dying when they're the ones going to the businesses
and East Austin bringing like development to those areas.
It's like you're actively contributing
the thing you can plan about,
and you've probably been in Austin for like two years.
Mm-hmm.
It was like super bizarre.
Brandon, you told me,
do I have the right to be a Kermudgy Nios tonight?
You knowing when I came to Austin.
Roughly.
I don't think I have.
And I've been here for like 11 years.
I feel like you can't,
unless you were in Austin when the old airport,
like the Mule airport was still active.
Okay.
For me, that's the barrier.
Because I had kind of a shitty thought about South by Southwest.
I like looked up and was like, this weather fucking sucks.
I'm okay with that because I don't want crowds.
And I was like, am I, within my own right to make that comment?
I feel like people are here after a year and they're already complaining about South by Southwest.
Am I one of those?
It's fine.
It doesn't matter.
I used to hate South by when I first moved here,
but I really like it now.
I mean, if I don't want to be involved,
I just avoid downtown or avoid going to the places that
it's the same, but it did hinder like,
I was like, oh, I'd love to go to like violent crown
or something like that.
So we can even get a drink at second part
and then I was like, no, I'm fucking South by, you know.
So, I know.
I just find another place to go.
Or one week under two.
PS313.
God damn it.
But we go to Starbucks. You get a
Starbucks. You're like, what? Start a
girl. I'm not be new. Be new bro. Bitch.
I'm like, guy. So,
the gym spot, um, I went to a diner on
East.
East.
Somewhere in East Austin, it's like a diner and it's connected to a coffee place right next to it
Somewhere in East I think it's East Caesar. Oh, I never go down to I couldn't answer that East Caesar. No, no, no
It's East six and it's near Whistlers
I don't know I heard a little smack is if someone was gonna answer that everyone ever that just go
Is this Mac? Is there someone who's gonna answer that? So everyone over there just go.
So I don't know if I'm being unreasonable here.
They had a porridge, right?
And it sounded kind of good, but it's all porridge.
There's nothing else for you to beef up your meal with.
And I asked for a side, so I could try it,
but they didn't want more porridge.
But they wouldn't.
The only way I could do it is if I bought like the $15 bowl of porridge.
Oh, you couldn't get like, I see what you're saying.
You couldn't get a side of porridge.
Yeah, and that's like, that's a huge commitment.
Cause I got, I mean, I got a whole day ahead of me.
Doesn't that seem like, ridiculous,
like they can't just give me, it's like soup,
like a side of it.
Right, like they just take a huge risk.
I guess for them it's like like asking for a side of steak.
No, it's not like the porch, like you don't have to cut a piece of
porch off. You're not ruining all of the porch, right? It's like, it's in a
big container already. Like a rotating spit of parts.
They probably also have like a big old thing back in the, you know, kitchen.
I don't think it would have been that hard for them to be like fill up a
small cup and be like
Yeah, that seems trying reasonable. Yeah, and it's like how often you have port that's a risk
I don't ever had porridge. I know, but if you saw porridge, would you be like I don't know maybe I'd say please
Oh, it's a ball very good ball. That was good. Let's play out the scene. Keep going. Come on. That's all I know
What's next in that scene? I don't know
That's what you're pointing.
I have a formal complaint with broadcast.
With broadcast.
What's with this clickbait thumbnail bullshit
on the last on the spot?
He's responsible.
What?
He bait the thumbnail?
He put my face in his shitty thumbnail.
So I clicked, I was like looking through
the rooster teeth app
and I don't really watch on the spot all that often
unless it's like easy cast.
It's my big old face.
And I saw Gavin's face on the thumbnail.
It was like, fuck, Gavin was on the spot.
Like I feel like they would made a bigger ordeal out of that
and I clicked it and it was new.
Someone with a mask and I was like,
Gavin's gonna be pissed about that.
That episode gets more views than the other ones
that I'll be pissed.
I'm sure Will, we did a,
I mean, me that joke in a RVPSA about like,
sorry, I broke us.
Something super quick in the show.
Like I think a boobs or something.
Yeah, we had like a girl who was like in like lingerie
and it was for literally a frame
and it's funny because when you looked at the analytics
for that episode, you could see that people went back
to that exact second to see it
and then that's what we put as the thumbnail and it works
Because I remember being a regular viewer just back in the day
I would have watched anything regardless, but I remember watching that one and it's standing like it stood up in my mind because it's like
Oh, that's bullshit. It's actually really good commentary on you know clickbaits and thumbnails
But people like Evan well everyone said man, that's a new shirt
That's a new shirt. I remember thinking I-
I remember thinking like, oh look, oh look.
Gavin's shoulders in the background of this video.
It's obviously put him as a thumbnail.
And like, Tyler Gavin.
I loaded people to me and they're like, are you pissed about this?
And I was like, nah.
Wait, should I be?
Nah, I don't think I am.
And now you're on already.
But I'm just trying to get worked up about it.
Let me read it.
I'm not in the damn episode.
Except for on a piece of paper.
Your mask is. Oh, I don't mind even this episode of the damn episode. Except for on a piece of name. Your mask is. I'll remind everyone this episode of
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No, you did it first time.
Did it one take?
I didn't see it messed up.
I also needed a promoter product.
What?
I was given a t-shirt to wear for this podcast.
And I was like, what size?
I was like, oh, I'm a medium.
They're like, well, can you wear large?
I'm like, yeah, sure.
So I get it.
And take off my shirts, put this on.
And I'm not exactly sure if they-
That's a lot of chesta. Cut that I'm not exactly sure If that's a lot of chest to cut that
I'm supposed to have
But I'm gonna do my part and I'm gonna
Well, you'll be able to tell by the sleeves like you're asking if it's like a female cut shit
She is very much that's a yep. Yeah, why did they get to the wrong shirt?
Although does it make me look more muscular? They easily working out of that
There's really really Put it on blame can you wear that and see what happens? to make me look more muscular. They told me they were working out of that. They actually were like,
can you put it on?
Put it on, Blaine.
Can you wear that and see what happens?
Yeah, it is a bling.
I think you should slap it on.
There you go.
Responsive episode, we'll do it for the first members.
First members?
Yeah, they're consider whatever.
They asked me to originally wear that.
And I was like, no, it doesn't really match my outfit.
Glad I'm, glad I missed out on it.
Cause it's good shirt.
I'm doing my part, what is shit?
It's a ball.
Look at awesome Boston wristart teeth.
I like it all, I love it.
I like it all, I love it.
I love wrist teeth, shit.
I like it all, I like it all, I like it all, I like it all.
I like it all, I like it all, I like it all, I like it all,
I like it all, I like it all, I like it all, I like it all,
I like it all, I like it all, I like it all, I like it all,
I like it all, I like it all, I like it all,
I like it all, I like it all, I like it all,
I like it all, I like it all, I like it all, I like it all,
I like it all, I like it all, I like it all,
I like it all, I like it all, I like it all,
I like it all, I like it all, I like it all, I like it all,
I like it all, I like it all, I like it all,
I like it all, I like it all, I like it all, I like it all, I like it all, I like it all, I like it all, I like it all, I like it all, I like it all, I like it all, I like it all, I like it all, I like it all, I like it all it. Are you going? I don't know. I don't think we haven't made those announcements yet
Good dodge. You see that crafty
What I don't know. I was going either so don't don't like it me
Let's see RTX London October 14th and 15th. I'm going to take it's just one on sale
Right. Yeah, I've been seeing people to it was a double double gold. And first is on Wednesday and then the public will be this Friday.
How much is VIP?
Let me look.
I do not know if the top of my head.
Gavin, if I went to London, would you like me to show me
other London places?
350 pounds.
But they pass us a 27 pounds.
45 for the weekend.
What's going on?
I mean, I didn't spend much time in London.
When it's a, I didn't live in London.
I used to work in like industrial London, but I never really was like hanging out by big band and that.
Is that what people just as new to me as it is to you?
Do people have the experience things together?
They're industrial.
Do they really?
Is that still really a thing?
Yeah, Colton, he's a real.
They're not fictional. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, on me. I feel like the last couple of times I went, it's good.
I think the first couple of times you went,
and I met you there when I was still in England,
you're like, let's place this place sucks.
I did not have a good time to my first couple of times there.
I mean, I met you, but your other things went wrong.
What's wrong with it?
Why do you hate Englanders?
They sucked up everything in customs
and then took the weekend off in the one time.
So we had nothing to sell at the booth and we were there all weekend.
That's the second time that happened to me.
And that was a MC.
MCM.
I bet you really stood out though.
You should have done a Star Wars and you should have sold pictures of the product as
like a IOU.
That was when we ran to the ice machine, and then we tackled you and your hotel.
And then we wrestled, and it was fucking hungover,
getting on a plane the next day, like,
why the fuck am I so sore?
I went to the bathroom and looked at myself,
and I was covered in welts.
That was what I had to take the underground
to get out of London, and I had to get off a random station
to vomit, and they kept there.
I thought I was gonna vomit before,
at Heathrow before I got on the flight.
I am never...
I'm still going over.
So I've come over to America and I'm getting involved with all these people or drinking
and that.
And then I'd go home and just stop doing that because there's no need to drink every
day when you're living in England.
But as soon as I'd meet up with someone from Rucity, it would be straight in the deep
end.
Like, I'd meet up with Gus for the first time in like a year,
and he would just get me absolutely ruined.
That's what we did.
For that one, I was probably that 22.
Yeah, old enough.
Shut enough.
Super drunk in a while.
Can you drink when you're 18?
Yeah.
I don't know, like, Shag at 16.
You can Shag much earlier.
Legally?
Yeah.
You have to wait for your balls to drop.
If you look, let's go.
No, I'm saying it's just, you know, like, I need, do we have something to demonstrate?
I'm sure you've got something to demonstrate with.
Get Brandon a balloon.
Like a small, I need to close this.
This is weird.
We were a team player for still putting that on.
Yeah, I wanted to help do my part.
Not anymore.
What's, I feel awkward.
I swear, where's it from?
I don't know, it was a birthday present,
but I found it early,
because Paula ordered it from Amazon and the box was just sitting on our table for like a week
And I was like well, I got to put this away and she got mad at me. She's like how's your birthday present?
I can open and I was like it was sitting here for a week
Fair enough. That's my story. That's what being there. It's like how do you have a package sitting around for a week unopened?
I know that was my point. I was like well, I'm gonna open this
Dude I need to I used to open mail this year at some point.
Yeah, it should.
What does that mean?
Well, I decided that I don't like real paper mail,
so I just don't open it,
and I was just gonna see what would happen in my life
if I just never open an email.
So since November, I haven't opened any that I've got.
But I'm, it's like a deep worry now
But the more male the longer I leave it the more nervous I am to open it
Just open it little by little
That would take me a long time. So you haven't checked it in November. We sent out our RSVPs for our wedding wait before November
I got it. I got it.
It's just that.
Was that what convinced you that there are the RCBs
like I'm done with mail?
Nothing good comes.
I'm just, I'm, I'm now worried that I'm gonna get arrested
for like tax evasion or something
because I didn't see a bill.
That would say a bill somewhere.
Or like deported.
Someone's gonna come and repossess some of my furniture.
But so far nothing bad has happened.
Yeah, I mean, that's how your credit gets fucked.
I'm scared I'm gonna get someone for jury duty
and I'm not gonna see it.
And it's weird, I mean, I've never had a jury duty
someone's like, how do they pick?
Do you have never had one?
No, have you ever had one, Blaine?
I've always, when I was a student,
so I've always been like,
well, sorry, good class.
I've never had one either.
That's weird.
I had one for like federal, where I had to like drive
to another town.
Yeah, thanks. But. Is that where you're on a grand jury? I've never had one either. That's weird. I had one for like federal where I had to like drive to another town.
But. Is that where you're on a grand jury?
Or I don't remember the specific details,
but it was like, it was when I first moved to Austin,
I first moved back to Austin.
I hadn't updated my voter registration,
so it was still registered out on the border.
So I got someone to federal court out on the border
and like a three and a half hour drive away.
So I drove there on the date I was told to,
got to the courthouse and they were like,
oh yeah, we were scheduled out, that's next week.
Oh, that's the worst.
So I was like, can I get out of it?
Like, because I drove three and a half hours
because I was like, oh yeah,
we'll just take a name off the list.
Oh, sweet.
It was like sweet, so I'm just going home.
That's crazy.
I'm in a good position because if I get summoned in England,
I'm living abroad and I won't get summoned here.
So, jump down. I feel like people worry about it someone here. So, I dropped out.
I feel like people worry about it too much.
Like, since I've never, other than that,
one time I've never had it.
This is something people are like, oh, you know, they dread it.
There's a lot of things based on the situation I have where
I'm not a resident, I'm not permanent resident,
and I'm not a citizen, I want to work visa.
But it's very convenient when it comes to like getting
into the country because anyone who's on an ester or a visa waiver,
which is like tourism into the US,
now uses those machines,
and then you have to get a printout and thing.
And any citizen of Canada and permanent residents
also use that machine.
To the point where the own,
and certain visas also use that too,
to the point where the only people
who don't have to use the machine are people on like really obscure visas, like mine.
So when I get off a plane into the US, everyone like gets in a huge line for those machines
and I just go straight to a person, and I'm always like the only person in the line.
Aren't you, are you listed as like an outstanding alien or an extraordinary alien or something
like that?
Yeah, well, yeah, that is the class of it.
That's what I wanted as to, because just, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,
I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,
I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,
I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,
I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,
I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,
I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,
I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,
I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,
I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,
I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,
I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,
I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,
I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,
I'm just like, I'm just like,
I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,
I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,
I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,
I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,
I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,
I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm was like, not I don't really go through Austin. Oh, it's wonderful. I guess we're Dallas.
And it's nice because in Houston,
they separate Paul and I,
even though she has a green card,
I was just like, goodbye, I hope I see you again.
But in Austin, they're like super nice, super chill.
There's like no lines because they have so many,
because it's a brand new customs.
They just open like a year and a half ago.
You can stay with her.
Can't you?
No, not in Houston.
Whenever I go to England with, with Meg,
instead of me going through the automated
gate where you just put your passport in the door opens, I just go in her line and they
did their okay with it. And then they got to separate.
When I was growing up, my father was in law enforcement. So we had, he had like a radio
in our house so he could listen in case anybody was calling him and you know, it wasn't
out. And you're occasionally
hearing other chatter on it. And one time a friend of mine was hanging out in my house,
we must have been like 11 or so. Some chatter goes on in the radio. And a lot of force was
talking about siding over legal aliens. My friend gets this amazing look on his face
and turns to me, goes, aliens are real? I was like, no, it's illegal.
We end this people crossing the other country illegally.
Yeah, it's kind of when I was like going through my visa process,
there's a lot of paperwork and you,
it's like a contract where you see yourself
referred to as something and not your name.
And it's just like, you just referred to as the alien.
Yeah, this is, are you closer to getting a green card?
Because they're going to try to crack down on all the work
These is I feel like I see my screw, but it's like a homeowner. I mean, shouldn't you like you have steak like you have property
Yeah, but it doesn't mean I can live on it so weird. I actually
I was telling you this and I'm not gonna say specific locations, but I was between two locations and
Gavin's house happened to be between the two places.
So I was walking and I realized I was about to pass in front of Gavin's house and was
like, oh, fuck.
Like, what if he sees me and started getting like all nervous and stuff.
Like I always look out the front window.
Yeah, I didn't know.
Like, it would just be my luck that you would pull up with Meg or something like that.
So I was like, fuck, fuck, fuck.
So like, I almost texted him and be like, hey, I'm walking by your house, but don't make
it weird in case I see you. And I was like, I was like I mean I haven't hung out with Gavin while
And I don't know if he's gonna think that's funnier if I'm being weird or not so like I just had this like horrible
Thing happened
The worst case scenario that is that I see you so what yeah, what's going on here?
I can't I can't do breasts. Wow. We're good friends brand
Blaine I can't tell you.
No, I'm just saying, I won't be the issue.
I don't know.
It's just been weird, because I don't know you.
It's weird, because you make it weird.
I dodged me to be real together.
I just took the long way.
If I saw you, I probably swing the door open and be like,
oh, and then close it again.
What's weird about that?
That's actually pretty weird.
No, yeah, that's not my dick out.
That's not as weird as what he did, though.
Like, you took it to a weird place. But then I would have been like, oh, he saw me. Oh, yeah, that might be good. That's not as weird as what he did though. Like, you took it to a weird place.
But then I would have been like,
he saw me.
Oh, God, oh, geez.
He just thinks I want to hang out or something.
So what?
I was wrong with you.
I don't know.
I had something like kind of similar.
I liked the neighborhood that Gavin lives in.
And I was over there and I saw that there was a house
for rent near his, like on the same street.
And I was like, man, that'd be really cool to see.
But then, if I moved in near him he might just be like what's
Why is that or is it gonna be awkward that we never hang out even though we're like right next to each other or is he gonna be like
Why did you are you in for any I just I didn't I wasn't comfortable doing it
Because of that yeah, I thought you'd get weirded out or you guys be like why is he doing that? No who cares?
I live actually like six doors down from somebody walks it really yeah What if I moved in next to you would be like total bros, right?
You could be like a walkway connecting your house. I would be fine with it
Cuz who cares? I don't see my neighbors. I would barely see you probably
I don't know from his car to the front door. There's the incentive gone
And I I could borrow sugar and stuff.
Never use sugar, but I might borrow something from that.
That'd be cool.
Do you have sugar?
Yeah, I do.
I might not.
It's fine carbs.
I ran into one of my neighbors at the grocery store yesterday.
I thought it was really weird.
I feel like I never see my neighbor
and then he literally got in line
behind me at the grocery store.
So I was like, put in my groceries on the little belt,
and I look at like, what are you doing here?
He's like, oh, buying this, like, oh.
And then he was like, I'm going to go back to buying my stuff now.
And keep making my purchase.
And then you pass them again later on,
and it's like still,
I got my bag and just started running.
You gotta get back to the car.
You gotta get back before he does
so we don't pull in at the same time.
I, you just leave all your stuff there.
I have this really bad habit of running into ex-girlfriends
and stuff like that, like on the street,
when like, Austin's a small,
bad, bad, bad, bad, bad luck.
Bad luck.
It's a small city, but it's still too big that that should happen as frequently as it
does for me.
But then a weird one happened where I was at Frank with Alana and we're sitting there and
I looked behind her.
I'm talking to her and I look behind her and they have all these Polaroid pictures and
there's a fucking Polaroid of a girl that I used to date and I was like, what are the
chances?
He's so weird.
So I was like every time I was talking to her,
the other person was staring at me as well.
It's really weird.
It's a real experience.
Did that like affect the conversation anyway?
I got kind of distracted and was like,
this is kind of a funny moment,
but I should definitely tell her.
So, yeah.
So you brought it up.
Yeah.
I was like, yeah, I, you know.
I feel like it's just never a good idea
to talk about any ex in any capacity.
Well, I also had it with a current person to with.
I also had a weird experience too where my parents were in town.
They did a surprise visit and they're like, hey, we're at the, you know,
jury hotel or something like that.
I was like, okay, I think I know where that is.
So I typed into my maps and I got there and I was like, I've been to this hotel for sex before.
And I go to their room and I was like, the room that I had sex in was
like two doors down. You remember the room you burned in? I mean, you know, like roughly,
like floor and location. Oh, I think we meant roughly. I knew about where about it was.
Well, in your furniture and your significant others furniture, you've had for a while,
you know, so you know that they've had sex and you've had sex with other people on this furniture.
It's weird too, you pass it.
What's your favorite furniture that I've sex on, Brandon?
I got a new mattress though, not the case.
The table?
You got a new mattress?
The table?
Yeah, it's exciting.
Okay.
What, you shagged on a table?
That's his favorite furniture to shag on.
Is it one of those tables where the fish comes up
for putting balls on any year?
No, actually it has a lazy Susan.
So he's just like,
it's better.
No, but it's like table,
like you're like spinning around.
You know, it's like it's mouth in the off.
Too much.
We're like at the end, at the end you finish, it's just like being wrapped up, like Spider-Man.
You finish on the lazy season, like in the like a spider?
No, we don't really do, I don't actually have a laser season.
A laser season?
A laser season, that's awesome.
But no, it's just, it's from a standpoint of it, the actual mechanics of it are a lot easier.
But you don't do it all the time.
It's your table.
You don't have it.
Just just your favorite.
All right.
Well, wait, no one else can answer this question.
Well, I was asking you, because I figured you had
the weirdest answer.
What's your answer?
A bed.
That's the weirdest place.
No, I said favorite place.
Favorite place.
Yeah.
You?
Pet. I? Pet.
Yeah, I'm boring.
No, I mean, that's what we mostly,
but I'm just saying, you know, it's my favorite.
It's my favorite.
All right.
Bed.
Like, I've done vehicles.
I used to exclusively only do vehicles
because of my living situation.
It's horrible.
Yeah, it's the fucking worst.
Does it have like a van with a mattress in the back of it?
No, I had a Chevy HHR, which was like a hatchback car
and it was the fucking worse.
Oh.
I have a two door hoop.
I don't think I've tried it in my Jeep
because my Jeep is just like the smallest little.
Nah, that'd be a good place to do it.
You can get the hunting box.
It's a Jeep rock.
It's a Jeep, you go in the front seat,
like the passenger front seat or in the back seat.
No, because I don't have any window tinting on my front seat,
so it would just be like the whole world
kids inside.
My back seat is super tinted.
Well, where do you drive to to do this?
Oh, last time I had sex in a car was at Silker Park.
Yeah, it was at like right, is it Silker near the bridge?
What time was this?
Like what day?
I think it was about,
Why a bridge is the way?
In PM on probably like a Saturday or Sunday.
No, like what day, like was this last year?
Oh, no, no, this is like a this is drink.
You worry that you were there at the same time also having sex with someone.
No, I'm just curious.
It's fine.
He was actually drunk.
And he was a jogger, he walked, he was running by and he's like,
Oh shit, that's a blank car.
Is that what you're saying?
So I text him.
Is there a people in my internship or is he?
Is there any like large dogging community in Austin?
Dogging community?
Dogging.
What does that mean? It's where you like go and watch people banging cars. Oh, those are cucks. Any large dogging community in Austin? Dogging community? Dogging.
What does that mean?
That's where you go and watch people banging cars.
Oh, those are cucks.
Cucks, yeah.
Really?
That's a thing, isn't it?
I'm not crazy, right?
No, I think they're called cucks.
That's when someone else has sex with the person you're with.
Right, but I think they're an aspect of that.
I think they just watch strangers.
Are the strangers like it
I've never been a dog. Why are you why are you curious? You're trying to get into that right now
I was wondering if anyone was watching you in the oh in zilka. I don't know. Could you have sex with somebody watching?
No, no
I beat I beat self-conscious
I would just be like, I-
That's why I'd never do any form of sex tape or anything.
I'd just-
Yeah, the sex tape thing, no, because I don't want to record me having sex, but I could
probably do it in front of somebody else.
Yeah, but would you try to make sure that you always had the best angle going their way?
I would want the person to see the other person that I'm with, because this is all you
don't want to.
How are they not going to see you?
How are they only going to see that person? You know, I just like, I just this is all you don't know. How are they how are they not gonna see you? How are they only gonna see that person?
You know, I just like I hide behind the other person.
You know, and if they try and look around.
It's like Lord of the Rings, you do like force perspective stuff.
So yeah, and if they try and walk around to a different angle,
you could be on a lazy season.
And cause it on the side.
All right, we got to wrap this up.
I thank you for watching.
We'll see you guys next.
Oh, yeah, stay tuned for our
Interview with Ella darling where we talk about VR porn should be it's very interesting very fitting for this episode
What is this podcast because all right, thanks for watching guys. Bye I'm gonna go back to the old house. I'm gonna go back to the old house. I'm gonna go back to the old house.
I'm gonna go back to the old house.
I'm gonna go back to the old house.
I'm gonna go back to the old house.
I'm gonna go back to the old house.
I'm gonna go back to the old house.
I'm gonna go back to the old house.
I'm gonna go back to the old house.
I'm gonna go back to the old house.
I'm gonna go back to the old house.
I'm gonna go back to the old house. I'm gonna go back to the old house. Hello, welcome to this supplemental portion of the Rusty podcast.
We have a special guest with us, Ella Darling.
Hi.
And we got like these two slubs also.
Hi.
Brandon and Chris and I'm Gus.
So Ella's in town for South by Southwest to talk about VR porn and it's a field that
you've been kind of pioneering a little while you want to talk about
What got you interested in
the using VR for this type of application?
So the first time I ever tried an Oculus Rift
Immediately I wanted to watch porn with it and I knew this was going to be really really good for porn
Basically when I try new technology I have have two questions. How can I fuck
with it or how can people watch me fuck with it? So it was pretty clear application here.
So I got into it about three years ago. I was super excited about it. I wanted to do
VR porn, but I didn't really have the tech background for it. So I found the person who
is not my business partner on Reddit. and he flew me out to the East Coast
to do our first ever shoot, and it was a 180 degree,
3D like Stoelow porn.
And it was really cool.
It was a really great video, and it just felt so compelling
and it felt like you were really connecting
with this person in front of you.
And so it was really cool.
So it's a lot more, it seems like you would have to direct your attention a lot more to camera
since you're performing at camera in that case, in that instance.
Absolutely. The camera is basically your scene partner. And so for some porn that people shoot,
they'll actually put the camera on the person's head. And so it's like a first person POV shot.
But yeah, it's really cool. I did a 183D porn, I did a 360 3D porn.
We made the first ever VR porn holograms.
Then we used that technology to make a dating simulator.
So you can date me in virtual reality.
I am a really tough date, it turned out.
Yeah.
And so that was really cool and really,
like, we really liked that experience
because it felt like you were really talking
to a real person.
I hope there's like a quick save and a quick load.
It's like, oh, I fucked up a load of previous save.
Well, yeah, I mean, it was sort of like a social learning experience and also kind of sexy.
But so the next step was obviously to make it so that you could actually talk to a real person.
And so we launched the first ever live webcam platform in virtual reality,
which is now called CAM4VR. And it's really fun. And yeah, so that's what we do.
I'm the world's first VR Cam girl.
And I could talk about VR porn all day long.
I made, I did some research on the CAM4 website,
checking out the 360 camming.
Yeah, totally, just like the camming, the 360 cam.
Yeah, the technology behind it.
Yeah, just for, it was for business.
Yeah, totally. Like, it's an unusual thing. I'm glad, you know, we have,
we work where we work. It's like, that's fine. Like I was
working doing this. And it's like, no one's going to come.
I do a lot of my course research too.
For different. I mean, I've been, I've been studying up for
years. So I mean, the big question for me, like always, like,
you know, in, in watching some of this
production is always like, what's the compelling reason to do this kind of thing in VR?
Because it seems like lots of times, you know, you have a very limited window that you're
interested in and a very big window that's maybe not necessarily interesting.
Right.
So we actually take that into consideration with the tech that we created.
So we make our own camera and we make our own software
that broadcasts using the camera.
So essentially we take a static 360 photosphere,
like a photo capture of the space,
and then we broadcast a small portion on top of that
because you're right, like really,
you don't care what's going on with my closet,
nothing's gonna change back there,
so why waste bandwidth broadcasting that?
So yeah, I think when it comes to virtual reality
experiences, it's really important to have a reason to do it in VR. Like, don't just throw
the technology at something because why not? And so with VR adult experiences, it feels really,
it feels like you're genuinely sharing this lived experience with someone. And with the live
CAM, it's, it gives you the sense of connection
that you just don't really see in traditional camming.
There was this one guy who, he came to like two or three
of my cam shows.
I used to do weekly cam shows, just themed stuff,
you know, butt stuff or electro stuff or whatever.
And so one day, I sort of had to reschedule.
So I only had one person at the show.
And it was a guy and it was like, okay, cool.
You get a free show at what you want.
And all he wanted was to just talk about his feelings, basically.
Like his girlfriend had just broken up with him.
He felt really lonely, and he wanted to be someplace where he felt safe with someone
he felt he could trust.
And for him, after talking to me like twice in a sex VR show, he felt that connection. And that you see that sometimes
with cam experiences with cam relationships, but with virtual reality, it's just so accelerated
and it happens so much more rapidly.
I feel like I used to hear stories like that a long time ago, you know, when, when phone
sex lines were still a thing, like you would hear stories from workers on those lines who
would say that a good number of
cause were from men who just needed someone to talk to or needed someone to unload
that whatever emotional baggage they had. Absolutely. And before I guess like
phone was the best way to have a connection with someone, but this way is even like it's like
the next level of that. Yeah, exactly. Another thing I've noticed in VR is that people are nicer.
People just treat you nicer.
They don't harass you the same way that people sometimes do on the internet.
And I think it's because when you're in my VR camp show, you feel like you're actually
in my home with me.
You feel like you're actually standing at the foot of my bed and you don't give someone
shit in their own house.
They're just nice to you.
You're also, I mean, when you're,
when as a viewer, you know, you would become a,
you're a real person then.
Like when it's, you know, that kind of immersive,
when it's that immersive, you're not just a flat static image.
Exactly.
And one of the things I really like about
the immersive quality of VR is that when I'm coming,
I know that everything they see is something
I constructed for them to, to see, to view. My room is decorated in a way that sort of conveys the sense of my personality.
They, everything that they see is just something that I've created for them, and they're not on their phones,
well, unless they're on the graveyard, they are on their phones.
But they're not checking their email, they're not distracted with their stuff,
they're just completely immersed in this experience I've created for them.
And, camming is so much more fun
when you're in that place.
You talked about having this dating simulator
or having this way,
like other levels of interactivity
that normally aren't available.
What do you think about the idea of next steps
where let's say me as a viewer,
I could be like,
well, I'm really into furries right now. I could re- say me as a viewer I could be like well like I'm really into
a furries right now like I could re-skin you as a furry, re-skin me as a furry or like
oh I really want more of a hand-tie thing you know let's do like a sell-shaded effect or
cartoons like you think how far do you think like that level of interactivity or customization
is a way?
Well it's definitely here I mean you can create your own custom avatars in various VR
apps and there are computer-generated VR porn
experiences. But I think for me, when I try those experiences, I just
can't get past the uncanny valley, the idea that like this is not
really a real person, and I'm kind of just drinking off to a cartoon
right now, which is fine sometimes, but not necessarily my
judge. Hey, no, absolutely not.
This is a safe place.
Yeah.
So I wonder about how difficult some of this is.
So obviously, we're talking about different things.
You're right.
You talk about a camming experience.
You're talking about a dating simulator.
You talk about traditionally produced porn.
When you're dealing with all of this,
it seems like there's a lot
more that can go wrong and a lot more difficulty. Like, I remember I read when you talked about
doing the first VR porn that you talked about a little earlier, you said that the guys just kind
of left you in the room and said, okay, now make porn, you know, like how difficult is it to deal
with this since like it's an evolving technology and it's new? Yeah, so I think it necessitates a certain
like better level of
Performance and self-direction and it sort of raises the bar for performers, which I think is kind of a good thing
It is tougher. It's especially if you're the person wearing the camera like if you're the guy in that scenario
You can't use your hands, you can't make noises,
you can't talk you.
Like, all of those things break the immersion for the viewer.
So I know for guys, or whomever is wearing the camera, when you shoot that way, it can
be really, really difficult, especially it's already kind of hard.
I imagine keeping wood on a set because you've got people watching you and it's sort of
uncomfortable and, you know.
I'm doing no okay right now.
But yeah, like it.
The braggd.
You got a career ahead of you.
No, it's just.
But yeah, so it can be really difficult in that sense, but I don't know, like I have
more fun with it.
You have to really be the persona you've created for yourself. You have to be the
most version of that possible. If you were talking to somebody who hasn't ever experienced it at
home, but likes porn, but they obviously don't know what they're missing because they've never tried
something like this. What would you say is the thing that they should consider? You really don't
know, but this is really why you would like it. Like this is why your current experience is just losing so much.
I would say traditional porn compared to VR porn is like a Polaroid compared to
an iMac experience. It's just vastly, vastly different. It's so awesome.
It makes you feel a real sense of connection with the person you're watching.
It makes you feel like you're actually living
that experience instead of just watching it.
Yeah.
So I'm like, you couldn't see it,
but Chris raised his hand to ask a question.
Yes, dear.
Well, has there ever been an issue
where people have gotten too personal or too connected
because of that experience where you feel like,
oh, you know, like you need to take a step back.
Um, not really not that I can recall right now, but people do that all the time.
They're having a good time.
Yeah.
I mean, I've had literally someone take a photograph of my back outside of my apartment
building and then send it to me like, oh, hey, now I know where you live.
Oh, what?
That's cool.
Thanks for that.
Kind of creepy.
Yeah, moving now. Brandon, That's cool. Thanks for that.
Kind of creepy.
Yeah, moving now.
Brandon, you should stop.
Don't judge me.
So.
I thought you would find it funny.
I wish I thought about this a little earlier when we were talking about like re-skimming
and, you know, different types of experiences.
But I think I would be ideal if in the future I could change what the male performers penis
looks like.
You could toggle, toggle circumcised,
uncircumcised, left leaner, right leaner.
That way you're like, yeah, that's it, right?
Right?
Going through character customization and MMO,
it's like you're going through all the different attributes.
Can I make it angrier?
So.
Intellect.
Yeah, that is hot. So our experience doesn't actually have like an avatar like when you look down you
don't have a body there and I don't want that to I don't want there to be a body there
until it can be absolutely customizable. I want people to be able to make a VR representation
of themselves and have that be the thing that represents them because if you use a
perform if you put in whatever
body you put in is going to end up being exclusionary.
You know, if it's a male body, then when women watch the experience, they're going to be like,
oh, I have a tick now.
This is different.
And I don't want anyone to feel like this isn't a product for them.
You know, once we can represent different body types, different genders, different racial
backgrounds, just everything, then I'll feel like it's something that I would want to include. But until it's absolutely
inclusive, I don't really want to put it in my experience.
Are there any particular things that you've done to take advantage of, I mean,
besides what you mentioned, to take advantage of the format, I could see something where it's,
oh, well, this would be really cool thing to have a threesome type thing where it's like,
oh, there's people looking back and forth and stuff like that.
I shot someone when I was shooting 360, I shot like a sort of three-some scene.
And it was pretty cool, but I just feel like the most compelling part of VR is the personal
intimacy.
And so, I don't know.
I think pretty soon on cam 4 we're going to start having
some, some, some three-some shows.
You should like mess with people first, just like put it in, like behind them and don't
tell them. So if they like just kind of look behind like for whatever reason, all of a sudden
they see that there's actually people having sex in the back of your room.
Like a very subtle audio cues coming from behind you.
So that's the key you in. Like kids, to me, in a VR experience,
that would be the coolest porn scene,
like a weird orgy, right?
Like a eyes wide shut type thing.
Like you're just kind of like,
oh, this is a very nice tea party.
And then like slowly, as you're looking around,
like things are getting like crazier and crazier.
But I guess like is maybe stuff like this
keeps getting more popular, more money will be put into it
and you might have sex or GT party.
So you talked also about how, you know,
you wanted the, I'm gonna not brand it for a second.
You talked about how you wanted, you know,
it to be really inclusive with lots of customization.
Right.
It would be interesting if we reach a point
where along with VR headsets,
you can also purchase at home body scanners.
So you can like scan in your self into VR.
And then it's like, then do you become worried?
Like people are worried about, you know,
people stealing nudes off of their phone.
And then it's like you're worried about,
oh shit, they stole my body scan.
They're gonna have you doing things I don't want.
Just download yours, copy from the airport.
I think you're right.
I kind of did that.
So the holographic technology was sort of doing
like a body scan.
We used a time of flight depth camera, which
was a really fancy way of saying Microsoft Connect.
And basically just captured like the performer's body
in space.
So I would designate the capture space on three axes.
And so everything in that space would be captured.
So we did a body scan sort of.
Interesting.
I'd like to see it become widely available
where anyone, at home, you just buy a device.
It's just something that's plugged into your computer
and you can use it whenever you scan,
whatever, it doesn't necessarily be people,
but if you wanted a 3D model of something,
I feel like that's one of the big barriers right now with VR.
Like I wish there was an easier way to represent everyday things,
like if I wanted to make something, like if I wanted this cup in there,
just to be able to scan it.
The big concern I have, like when I think about VR porn as a guy is,
what about the mess?
Like yes, since you have a headset on, you know,
you got to be really careful with where you're aiming. Otherwise, you could, uh, I don't know, get your keyboard
messed up or electrocuted. Yeah. How do I explain your cat in the dark?
I'm just a bit nervous. There's no danger of getting hit in the eye though. That's true.
You are, you are protected from that. Yeah. So there is a device called Kewro, which
sort of takes a flush light
style sleeve. Hold on, what's the color? I'm looking at it.
I, I, I, and we support it at cam 4. But no, so you have this device and
basically it syncs up with whatever the performer is doing. You can find porn
that is synced up to the Kewroo. So like whatever is happening to the
performer's dick now happens to your dick. And yeah, yeah, so it's just, it's like a
reciprocal device. You kind of blown my mind here. It's not just your dick. And yeah, yeah, so it's just, it's like a reciprocal device.
You've kind of blown my mind here. It's not just your mind.
A bad choice of words. K-I-R-O-O.
I see it right here.
Yeah, and so in that case, you just jizz into the little sleeve and then you clean that up
afterwards.
No, that's perfect. So it, it, it's like, you just put it on, right?
Yeah. And then, things are happening in the thing. It So it's like, you just put it on, right?
And then, assing's are happening in the thing.
It starts like, yeah.
Hopefully it's not making that noise.
So, yeah, sort of by Brayton, I don't have a penis,
so I can't really describe it,
because I've never really used it.
But we'll give our performers like these Dildo devices.
And so whatever the girl does,
that Dildo is reciprocated in the stoker.
So it's really cool.
We live in the future.
Yeah, so I can give you a virtual handshake.
I mean, could, that was awkward.
I'll, yeah.
Yeah, that's amazing.
I didn't even think about that.
That's really cool.
I'm not nearly worried about the mess anymore. That's crazy. I love't even think about that. That's really cool. I'm not nearly worried about the mess anymore.
I think that's crazy. I love that that was your concern.
That's always like how you got to worry about like where's it going to go? Are you going to ruin your keyboard?
Yeah, yeah. That's wow.
That's I think you took Brandon's words away. Yeah, no, but we joke about like, oh virtual reality sex, that has to be it.
Like, I think we're, it seems like we're there now.
Yeah, I was just saying like,
oh, we should get one for the office. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no How did you come around to discovering VR? Did you have a background in gaming or anything?
I've always really been into new technology.
I go to E3 every year, so I try to at E3.
And I was really psyched about it.
And yeah, just from the first time I tried it,
it was like, this is going to be awesome for porn.
And I think two of the biggest experiences in virtual reality
are porn and social VR, so it kind of combined the two.
Yeah, I was watching.
I think I was watching Dota 2 in VR a few months ago.
When you're watching people play this game in VR,
your microphone and your headset is turned on.
So you can talk to other people who are observing be are and I know I was in the lobby
and I was trying to figure out which game I was gonna watch
and I have a tar spawn behind me
and I heard a woman's voice, you know, talking like,
oh wow, this is crazy.
And I could see every headset in the room turned
and they all started saying, oh my God, it's a girl.
There's a girl in here.
So then she wasn't harassed or anything
but I think everyone was just shocked
and like it was just bizarre to see
all these disembodied headsets just turn.
And all of a sudden, it was like,
what are those like for her?
She'd be like, oh, oh.
No, I think she was shocked.
She didn't realize that her mic was on
and that people could hear her.
She's like, oh, can you all hear me?
You see all the headsets just nothing.
Yeah, it looks like a digital horror film.
Yeah, it was totally like something out of a horror film.
Our next version of the camera
that we're gonna be putting onto the site
is going to have voice to voice compatibility.
So when you log into like a private show,
you can speak directly to the performer
and she'll hear you and talk right back.
Nice.
It's fucking amazing.
I love it.
We're totally in the future.
Yeah.
I want to mention that you do,
you are here for South by Southwest
and you have a panel. It looks like it's Friday from two to three the future. Yeah. I want to mention that you are here for South by Southwest. And you have a panel.
It looks like it's Friday from 2 to 3.
Thursday.
Thursday.
Thursday.
Okay.
It's on Thursday.
Is it at the Hilton?
That's a great question.
I'm not really sure if I should find out.
We'll find out.
I believe the panel is called VR porn.
Future is upon us.
What's next?
If you're in town for South by Southwest,
you should definitely check it out.
Thanks so much for joining us.
It was really cool.
I'm glad I learned about some new devices today.
Thanks, guys.
You got some more research ahead of you.
Yeah, definitely.
I failed in my research leading up to this.
Thanks for watching, everybody.
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