Rooster Teeth Podcast - You Could Wring Me Out Like a Towel - #561

Episode Date: September 10, 2019

Join Blaine Gibson, Chris Demarais, Miles Luna, and Barbara Dunkelman as they discuss owning a dog, early dating experiences, the best video game movie ever, and more on this week's RT Podcast! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Oh, hello everyone. Welcome to the Ristartee's podcast. This episode brought to you by ExpressVPN and stamps.com. I'm Barbara. I'm Blaine. I'm Chris. I'm Miles. And I'm Barbara. And that's Dutch.

How have we been blessed by this young boy? How lucky are we today? We're going to see how he does. Like right now, he's in his own ass. As you do. Hey, yeah. Oh, there he is. Just stay like that the rest of the podcast.

Perfect. So how long have you had your beautiful dog boy Dutch? A little over a week, I got him last Saturday and I've got stories to tell. Oh, Jesus. It's been pretty cool. Hopefully we'll get some out of tonight too. Isn't that right, Dutch?

He's such a good boy. You say that right now. Let's remember that you said that at the top of the show. No, my lord. And then we're gonna review it at the end of the show and see if that's still true. Isn't that right? I see little hell-raiser in you.

You beautiful man. And compare us into a lot of puppies. I remember I'd like Watson. I remember I had that dog on the podcast set one time and one time that dog took a shit on this podcast set. I do. I don't want. I know Gus remembers, too.

My favorite dog, one of my favorite dogs to the office. Now that I have Dutch here, too, he's in that top list, is Arthur, Sophie and Nathan's dog. The tiny little, I forget what breed it is. But that dog, every time I come into the office to see it, it starts peeing because it gets so excited. Like, I'll come into pet it, I'll go, hi, are you there?

And then I'll just start vibrating. And then like, it's like we'll go up and I'll just see a trickle of pee. That dog looks like you gave like an Instagram algorithm, the job of creating a dog specifically for Instagram. And then it's treaty printed, that little, little beautiful creature that apparently spits us once you interact with it.

Oh my God, which all Instagram dogs do. That's a criteria. Oh there it is, look at all. He's doing it in that picture. You can't see it because he's sitting on his dick. The public dogs, that dog's pissing us. Is there any better compliment than someone peeing themselves when they see you?

Okay, valid question. Let's get back to that, I think. I'm gonna think of that. Yeah, before we do, we actually have a really cool announcement that we have for you guys and to say that announcement, we got Mr. Jeff Ramsay joining us on the podcast. Oh, snap.

Views immediately went up. Where'd it go? Am I on camera anywhere? Hey, there I am. Thank you, guys. So yes, I am a... You're welcome, Bernie. I'm on the podcast.

The Arctic podcast means one of two things, either an apology or an announcement. Hey, it takes the form of an announcement. And because I can't be to the point, I'm gonna meander a bit. Okay. In the process of us becoming a part of the Warner Brothers family in and it was not like confusing at all to us in any way whatsoever we became a part of full screen

Automedia to AT&T to Allation Allation Sure, yeah, allation. It's anyway. It was all very straightforward and made total sense on a piece paper We became a part of the Warner Brothers family and they keep using that word family And so the first thing I think of when I think of family is I wanna borrow stuff, right? Yeah.

So Lewis and I thought, what could we do with the Warner Brothers family that would be really cool? And we've been working a lot on merch in the background doing capsule collections, the Jeff line, the Barbara line. All fantastic. The achieve line becoming like more high end fashion and doing a limited run, cool stuff. So we presented, we put together,

we put our nerdy little heads together and we worked on this whole plan and also with Ryan Quinn and the merch team obviously. And we presented it to Warner Brothers and said, hey, we wanna do collaborations with your products, with your brands. Basically, every brand of the world. Oh, what do you have in mind?

And so we thought, fuck it, Batman? And they said, oh yeah, okay. Which I did not expect. I did not know that. I just know that. I just know that. I wish you for the moon, we were hoping Batman and we were gonna ask for Batman

and then we would work our way all the way down to Green Lantern or something. What? Or like Orange Lantern, whoever that is. Some like one time used, killed off immediately character in the DC universe. But they know they said yes. And so over the last few months, maybe a little longer

than that, we have been preparing a really cool merch opportunity where we're going to do this very special capsule collection called DC27. And it's called that because Warner Brothers is letting us take art from the original detective comics number 27 way back in 1800 and two, or whatever it first came out. And they're letting us merchandise it in a way that's never been done before. No one has ever put these graphics and stuff on the whole day before, not in a complete way. And so it's not I am announcing that we are of a very special capsule collection

that we're doing in partnership with Warner Brothers that's gonna come out on September 21st, which is Batman Day, which is a thing. That is a big thing. And apparently it's Batman's 80th anniversary. And so for Batman's 80th anniversary on Batman Day, 921, you can go to the Rooster Teeth website and you can buy a very special limited run

of Rooster Teeth Batman clothing. Hell yeah. Oh my god. I think they're gonna throw some previews up, but also I think Collider has like an exclusive on it because now that we're working with real properties we get real articles and stuff about it. So if you get a Collider,

you can see a preview of all the merchandise. You'll be able to go in, like I said, on the 21st and buy it on the Rooster Teeth website. Hopefully you will buy it out so that they'll let us do this again in the future. But I'm not gonna stop there. Because not too long after that comes the month of October. And after the month of October comes the month of November.

And in the month of November, we're doing the Achieve Batman collection, which is another one, which is a little less straightforward. The Batman. You really got me with that. Richard Batman, man. So I liked it. He's us making really cool art from the Batman franchise

from Detective Comics 27 and trying to find cool ways to make t-shirts and hats and stuff out of it. But Achieve X Batman is gonna be like a true collaboration where our artists went wild with their artists and we created some really cool achievement hunter slash Batman collaborative merchandise. So look for that in the future too. In November, but currently,

September 21st is when you can buy Ruchertieth X Batman, they let us officially make Batman merchandise. That's so cool. And hopefully this goes well, and this sells out, and then achieve ex-batman sells out in November, then next year you'll get to see even more. We've got a whole list of stuff properties we asked

to collaborate with, and a lot of it they said yes too, and some of it they said maybe two, and some of it they said two, but we're working down the list. And so if this goes as well as I hope it does, hopefully you get the first one was Batman. Yeah, well, we should, like I said, shoot the moon with Batman, and then the next gets hopefully a little easier.

But yeah, so check it out, go to Collider, if you wanna see what it's gonna look like, hopefully you, if you like Batman, like I do, I started reading comic books when I was five years old. I bought my first two comic books. In 1802. In 1802. I was 18 or seven.

So, one of them was Batman. The other one was another property that we won't say. But I've been reading Batman comics for 39 years now. And so, the idea that we get to work with Batman in an official capacity is beyond cool to me. And hopefully you guys will like it too. And that's the end of my announcement portion. Now the apology portion. Sorry about how I look in my face and my body and everything. That's okay. I like it. Not much I can do about it. I learned to cope with it. I appreciate

that. Well, you've had you guys have had years to get used to it, but the audience, it can be shocking. Yeah. Well, it's a secret. We'll put up a trigger warning at the top of the video. Thank you very much. Includes Jeff Raim's. Includes Jeff. That is awesome. I was told that you had an announcement to something with Batman. And I had to do it. You didn't even know what I was. I didn't know what it was.

I was hoping it was gonna be that you are Batman. But I'll settle for that wish. I'll settle for this. Now this is one of those things people always ask like what goes on behind the scenes when they say like, oh my god. I assume it's that way for y'all stuff too. But like, why is Jeff not in content?

Where are Jeff and Lewis always on a plane too? It's stuff like this. We're trying to make really cool opportunities for Richtief and get to leverage the power of our family, our larger family. You said that like that, man. And this is one of those ways. So hopefully you guys will like it. And if you don't, that's cool too.

You're not required to buy a merchandise, but it'd be really sweet if you did. I now look forward to November. November. November. And the camera time. I see the rest of my time to the four of you. Thank you, Jeff. Thanks Jeff. Thank no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Oh the worst. How did he get his comic books delivered like by boat? Steam, steam train. Zeppelin mostly.

Zeppelin. Definitely Zeppelin. Yeah. We now at Hindenburg, blew up, who saw the comics inside that were burned. Horse and carrot. Oh yeah. A horse and carrot Zeppelin. Yeah.

Was steam thing, was that a thing, or was that just like a made up steam punk thing? You know, like, is there the thing? I was thinking if steam was a thing. Chris, you know the steam punk era, okay. Steam era, like, okay. Keep going, just, I'm historically. Yes. When was the steam era?

Okay, is what, let me distil to that. Sure, okay. So, you know, like boats, right? Yeah. Like boats used to be like wind, right? And like, yeah. And people, there was like a people in a wind era. And then along came some folks that were like, shit dude, steam.

And then there was a big steam era for a real long time. There was, you know, there was steam boats. Train, that trains the coal. Yeah, that was also steam. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you burned the coal. And then. The steam punks. So, that was also steam. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you burn the coal and then the steam pumps. So, okay, I'm trying to figure out what like you are trying to know that like we utilize steam. I know steam is a thing. Yes, yes,

yes. Okay, so what the fuck are you asking? I don't know, like, I guess where does, where does, what's, where does coal and steam fit in with each other? Well, coal works in animation. Yeah. So coal, you power the fire, which sheets the water, creates the steam. That creates the steam. It pushes the thing. That's the question. Yes.

Okay, good. That's all. That's all. You question was how did they make steam? Oh, I don't know. That's fair. No, that's fair. I'm not reading the 16-hundreds.

Can I ask you a question? Yeah. I follow a question. So what do you think steam punk is? 16, huh? Can I ask you a question? Yeah, follow follow question. So What do you think steampunk is? I Think that's more of an aesthetic Right, it's like futuristic Like glasses, but also old school. I don't know if I would use the word futuristic for like

like But like, like metal the glasses and like goggles, goggles are definitely a big part of goggles are very seem fun gear. Yeah, you got the glasses. The goggles. The top hats, very important top hats, very important. A lot of gears. A lot of gears. Someone's saying an unnecessary amount of gears. Clock the scene punk people.

Clock, clock, clock, absolutely. Clock dials. You know, it's kind of like how, you know, clock, after clocks. After clocks, dials. It's kind of like how, you know, fallout, right? The video game series fallout. That is an alternate history and where after discovering the power of the nuclear bomb, all technology went full on nuclear.

Like, we're all going nuclear and everything. Nuclear, car, nuclear boats, nuclear, coal. Was that before after the steam? That would have been after the steam, and that's a very good question. Then you have things like, I'm trying to think of another alt history thing and I am drawing a blank right now,

but yeah, no, it's kind of like that. It's like, hey, what if everything was steam powered for a number? Yeah, so it's like, yeah, it's like, including a clone. It's if we still use steam 100% right now. Like that steam, that's kind of the idea behind steam fun. Yeah, okay, cool.

Now, what about the P? Let's go back to that. Oh, bigger compliment. Is there any bigger compliment than someone he's even himself an excitement to see you? Probably Batman wanting to make clothes with you. That's a pretty big compliment. That's a good compliment. I but if Batman peed himself on excitement meeting me, I would be the coolest mother fucker alive. But would you even know?

Was there, I have a question for you guys. I've always wondered about this. So when you guys were like young teenage boys, if you saw, I'm masturbated constantly, you're right. Well, yes, but if you saw like a girl you were interested in or attracted to, would you get a boner?

Like just on site? Yeah. What a patty. If I was like in the middle of class and then she was wearing something that was like, and then I kind of zone out. Or if I saw her and thought about it for like, more than 10 seconds, yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it was like, if I, any of my steampunk, gears returning. But then that's also an age where like you could get a boner If I, any of my steam punk, any gear turners. Gear's returning. But that's also an age where like, you could get a boner because you like saw really good looking ham sandwich.

Like, it could be anything or like, like, you're, don't against the desk and a certain, or you're just in a moment where it's like, it'd be really unfortunate if I got a boner right now. And then you're like, but, I always feel like I learned so much about things

when I talk to you guys on the podcast. Now that's dangerous, because what you could be learning is complete misinformation. I think it's a good, actually. I don't know if it's a good grouping of people to get a pull up. Absolutely not, absolutely not.

You were talking about high school, middle school, boners, then yeah. Then maybe you're set. So you're like, I heard something, but it was like way after the facts, but I heard that because it's all blood pressure base, your boner, if you just flex the shit out of your legs, theoretically the blood should flow out

to other parts of your body. Can you try that? Can you try it? I don't have a- We're gonna need to get Blaine of Boner. Just real quick, we're gonna get Blaine of Boner in the world. Let's get the fuck hurt. Jeff you try that? Huh? Can you try it? We're gonna need to get Blaine a boner. Just real quick, we're gonna get a Blaine boner. Let's get a fluffer. Jeff, could we get Jeff?

No, I just like the idea of like, you get a boner, so then you just go, and then you flex it away. You want to sleep or hold on that boner. You're so strong. He's so strong, he out flex over nine inches. Out flex is a boner. When you guys had your first kiss, did you get a boner? Of course. Well, no. No. That was terrifying a motor. When you guys had your first kiss, did you get a boner? Of course.

Well, no. No. I was terrified. I was a teeny tiny boy. When I had my first kiss, I got like, what? I was waiting to hear how you were going to feel that. Like, I, never mind.

No go ahead. You can like ring me out like a towel. Oh my Jesus Christ. I, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, when I was a middle school with this girl. And the date went really well up until a point where we did start kissing and I was like, whoa, didn't think this was gonna happen tonight. Neat, this is great. And then I got a boner. And then I didn't know what to do with that situation. And I was like, if she feels my boner

while we are pressed up against one another, she's gonna think I'm a gross pervert. I don't know why my brain thought this, and I thought that that was the most indecent thing. So that meant we were kissing, and then I just started scooching my waist away from her as if there was like one of those like exercise balls just like in between us.

And she was like, what are you doing, and kept getting close, and I was like nothing. And for some stupid fucking reason, my dumb like, you bestescent Brain was like, if she finds out you have a boner, this is over. Ironically, it was that behavior, which kind of didn't leave it a second date. You should have been like, preparing,

talking procedure, my love. I didn't know. I was like, that was, that was, it's less than like, maybe 13. I didn't know what to do with any of my feelings or body or any of that stuff. I feel like, like, you had more of a chance of her seeing it

as you backed up further and further away from her. Well, here's the thing that her accidentally gracing it. You're 100% right. I was just an idiot. Oh! Oh! I wasn't thinking about any of that stuff. I was thinking it was like must-avoid awkward conflict.

Let me make this a million times worse. I will solve it. I want to say that my first kiss, I was actually in tights. I was dressed as Peter Pan. So like, it was a Halloween party. Was it Wendy? No, she was Tinkerbell. So like, she told me she's gonna be Tinkerbell

and I was jokingly, I was joking because I wanted to surprise her and I was like, I'm gonna go to this incredible hole and she was like, oh, that's cool. Like, didn't really care and I was like, ah, I know I'm gonna dress up as Peter Pan. Surprise her and it's gonna be so romantic. And I showed up as Peter Pan,

I looked like a fucking idiot because I'm just as Peter Pan, I have tights up as Peter Pan. Surprise, and it's gonna be so romantic. And I show up as Peter Pan, it looks like a fucking idiot. So just as Peter Pan, I have tights on. And she's like, Hell-dry. That must have been like middle school, or maybe like freshman year high school, I'm not sure. Yeah, like 13, 14 somewhere on there. And I remember she saw me and she's like,

wow, like, she didn't give a fuck at all. But then you guys kissed eventually. Well, then later on in the desk. And I remember her parents were chaperones at the dance, so they were probably just like, no, no, they saw a kid at Justice Peter Pan and like, he's got no chance. We're on.

We can take it easy tonight. How did it happen? Uh, I mean, he's just slow dance, so we're like, you know, five feet apart or however hard work is, and then we slowly worked in. It was like, oh, go all the driest mouth ever. And just like, here we go.

Here we go. And that was your trick, Chris. And it was just like the tightest like kissing a butthole. It was just like, just dry and tight. That's all it was. There was an audible what from the broadcast. A kiss in a butthole. You know, those dry.

Chest kiss. Kissed by Holt's blood. this is dry. Sheskiss. Kissed by Hulk's blood. Christal idea. Christal was your first kiss. Is that a movie theater? Nice. Going to see a movie. And then I was like, yeah.

This is a girl. She, she, she had done a lot more stuff than I. And so I was like, we're totally gonna kiss. And the whole time I was like freaking out. Like, I wouldn't should do it. And I was like, I kept, I had a little mint dropper thing. I kept putting more and more throughout the whole movie. But I like never went in, and then so then the movie ends.

Then everyone leaves and we just kind of sit there at the, I'm like, oh, these credits, huh? Yeah, yeah, and we're just sitting there. And I'm like, all right. And I'm like, and right, and I'm like, and I don't lean into Kissa, then she pulls it and then kisses me. Oh, hell yeah.

She was like, fucking kid. Oh, yeah, you string bean. Get over here. Yeah. I always found it was so awkward to have like a kiss at a movie, because like, I don't know. I've done a lot more than the kiss at a movie.

Oh, this is the competition. That's it. That's it. I'm looking around at the block. Well, this is the competition. That's a fucking crap. I'm a boss from the pit. Well, when you're in high school and you don't have, you know. Have you been jerked off in a movie?

Not the completion. But what, did you have exposed dick at movie theater? I think it was more under, under, like, just kinda like, you know, like if you were, if you were in pants, like you do today. Oh, I did, and I wear it way back here. So you had your chin go on. If she was just like, how'd it taste?

See it, yeah. I wore clothes that did not fit me. They're like, I should drop your bone bud. Yeah. Multiple cards, of course. Multiple cards on shorts. So 80 pockets, a thousand zippers.

Okay, we're spec. No, I know. I think a lot of kids do that. Well, here's the thing, right? Because like, it's after the movie. Going to a movie is the first date is terrible idea. After the movie? I, yeah, because I-

But then I started to clean the theater. So what happened was, went to the movie, it was pretty busy. And then, so the movie ended and we were both like, well, it's, you know, we, we'd already fooled around. So we let everyone leave and then once everyone's gone, we start making out. We're fooling around to the point where it's, you know, for like five or 10 minutes, and then we hear the people come in and clean the movie, we're like, oh, shit, we gotta go. And then we got up to leave. Her brother was picking us up to take us, but like, we thought it was gonna be one of those things

like he'd be like waiting in the car or like call him or something. He was waiting at like the front of the theater, where so it's like we walk out like 10 minutes after the movie ended and he's just sitting there waiting. I mean, he probably didn't know a lot of runtime. In this one. No, everyone left. Everyone left the theater. And then he's sitting there waiting. I mean, he probably didn't know a lot of runtime in this one. No, everyone left.

Everyone left the theater. So this is like a last one. And then he's sitting there waiting for another 10 minutes. This story makes me want to fucking die, Chris. I hate this so much. Oh my fucking god. But this was in the first kiss. This was a different.

That was not our first kiss. This was like, this was. That was pulled around time. Yeah, this was like, we knew we're like. I'm just picturing what the Alamo does, what a movie ends is like they turn on the lights and then a countdown timer starts. It wasn't anything like that.

This was like- I had just imagined you guys like racing the clock. Come on, we're like, I can't like, eight, seven, six. Yeah, no, I mean, it was like in just a regular, you know, whatever theater. So there was no like rush to get in. We're like, all right, we're alone.

Time to- I used to work at a movie theater. People do some fucked up shit in there. What's the weirdest thing you ever saw working at a movie theater? I saw a girl going down on a guy. Nice. Yeah, and I was just like. What do you do in that situation?

Just fucking throw milk duds from the aisle and just try and get them the fuck out of there. I was 15, I didn't really care. No, that's fair. Hey, can I tell you something? Nice. If you were probably in your 20s working movie theater, I probably wouldn't care still.

Probably wouldn't care either. I guarantee you most employees at places like that, probably don't care. Unless they got to stick up their ass where they're a manager of some sort. Yeah, I'm like a super power trade. And if it's just an employee, they're probably just like, I feel like you run into those people every now and then,

I remember, I went to. I feel like like you run into those people every now and then I remember, like I went to, I was like 24 and my sister was 29 and we were going to a movie that was I think, I don't know if it's R or PG 13, but the guy ticketed us. He was like, we need to see your ID and I was like, dude, like, I think he would be the guy that would just come in and just be like, no jerk it off! I'm calling the police. This is a crime. Yeah. Yeah It's throwing milk toads shame Make you walk naked down the aisle out of the theater

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of the Roostery Podcast. Now back to the ship. I feel like it's funny. A lot of like dates that you go on when you're young is the movie theater, which is arguably a terrible place for a date because it's like, hey, what's up? I'm really excited to get to know you.

Let's not look or talk at one another for the next two, two, two and a half. And like sit here and like pitch black. Yeah, you do get good like hand holding time. So that's the next thing, right? Yeah. But I feel like this is not a first date or. Oh, well, at least maybe for now.

Maybe not for Chris who's done some stuff in movie theaters. Oh, that's the first date move by Ronda the past, not to completion. There's like, because like, okay, I guess it makes sense, because I was about to say like when you're a kid, you, for whatever reason feel like you need to do all, like kissing or whatever, just like in the dead of night in a dark shadowy realm where no one can see you.

And I was about to say like, that's bullshit, just do whatever you want. But I'd say like if I was walking on a street and I saw just like two 14 year olds just making out, I'd be like, gross, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go. They're really is no like, like having a physical relationship when you are like still living with your parents

is like this like crazy game of of having to evade the eyes of anyone older than you. Her place isn't safe, your place isn't safe. You gotta meet up and fucking movie theaters apparently just to hold hands. If you're lucky, you have a car, and then that car's roomy, otherwise cramp sex or cramp like cooking up.

Cramp holding hands, cramp holding hands. Cramp holding hands. This is not good. Car sex is, I don't think yeah, it can be for like a brief minute. If you're on the outside of the car. Yeah, Chris. Yeah, damn. What a fucking man, man. With such fucking judgment. I am imagining you on the roof of a car

That's exactly what you're saying No, he had a fucking convertible Oh my god He was drowning in it in a bear Like are we talking like hood? Uh, yeah, or Can we get a Dutch camp please? Hell yeah

He's fucking this robot He's just going And it better be a Dutch angle too We better be a Dutch camp, please. Hell yeah. He's fucking this rope up. He's just going. And it better be a Dutch angle too. We're your head guys. It better be a Dutch angle. Dutch angle. Yeah. Anyways.

I can't have the official Dutch angle, but yeah, as you were saying. Yeah, we have a hood hood or like, what is like a hashtag thing with the thing open where it's like laid out flat, that works. That works. Yeah, that's more roomy. Yeah.

Yeah, the back seat probably is the best option. It's awful. But, I mean, I would not recommend the front seat. No, single though. Well, now, Blaine, you now get to enjoy the experience of having a pet that will essentially like, if you ever get intimate with a person, now you need to have a plan and effect for this boy.

No, he's, we've been there down there, he's okay. So what does that mean? Are you letting him watch? Are you putting him in another room? No, he goes in the other room and he knows, he knows. Like, he'll come out and like, he'll look at her and then he'll look at me, he knows. But, no, he's, yeah, he definitely knows.

He's definitely a real smart guy. You do, you do, you do, you just look at him. He's knows that real smart guy He's just like a nice nose There you go, dad. He doesn't make a peep though, which is great. Like I think about it every now and then and I've had bad sex because of dogs being around. Oh, hey buddy. Does he?

But he's oh god, he's been pretty cool about it. Just like don't let him lie, he makes me watch. Yeah, man, dogs can ruin an intimate time. So far. Those noses are cold so far. Oh, God so far so good. Where is it touching? What do you say? So as a new dog dad, what are things that you did not think you would be ready to do,

but immediately have jumped at in order to protect your mind? I mean, I'm just I'm constantly touching piss and shit. That's what's up. That's what I'm talking about. Oh my God. Shove in my hand on his throat to get like shit. Whoa, hello, get stuff out. He's got like zoomies. Okay, right now We're talking about you

I'm excited. We're gonna treat who fast he's sitting good boy. Yeah, can you tell to me checks shake? Oh, fuck. Yeah All right, he is a smart boy. He does not lay down So a lot of pisses shit a lot of piss and shit. A lot of piss and shit. Not really in my apartment, which is cool, but it like outside and like, yeah, I think he got me sick with something that gave me the shits and then like he had the shits

so we're both just like getting the shits. Is that a thing? Can you get sick from dogs? Yeah, I was gonna ask this. It seems like a very Gavin question, but like can you get, like, could you share a cold with a dog? It wasn't a cold, it was like some sort of like stomach bug basically that he probably picked up

from the shelter that I got him from. And then he brought it to me and then we were buddies. So are you patient zero here then? Because a lot of people at the office have been sick. Now I got that, like, I got elements of his thing. I couldn't, I could just be making it up, but I'm pretty sure we both got sick. You're bonded.

Yeah, he's been really cool. He's like six or seven months also still very much a puppy, even though he's a fucking huge. We only had our first bad day yesterday. I know, what happened? Well, so like, I was gonna see if I could hang out, like go leave my apartment for like 30 minutes

and go do a quick workout while he was out of his kennel because I hate leaving his little kennel. I feel that. And I was like, I think he can do it because I leave him in my office and he's fine. He's just sleeping there. Yeah, you're all cut up. But so I hear him like whining as I'm walking on the thing

and I was like, it's okay, you know, he's gonna learn. And then I come back and he had like torn up a corner of my carpet and then he just like fucked my coffee table up. He missed you. And I was just like, what the hell? Like and I couldn't, I couldn't hit him and yell at him just because like that's what you want to do,

but you're not supposed to. So I just kinda had to like, I knew he had like a bunch of exosentries so I like went to the store. It felt fucked up knew he had it like a bunch of exosinergy, so I like went to the store. It felt fucked up, but I bought him like a bunch of shoe toys. But I don't know how like $120 worth of toys that he could just fuck up. He's been loving that rope thing. Well, it is loose right now. But yeah, like I was so pissed off and then buying him toys felt so counterintuitive.

It was like, he was like buying beer for a guy that just robbed me. Well, he wanted to take their aggression out on something else, right? Totally. Yeah. felt so counterintuitive. It was like, it was like buying beer for a guy that just robbed me. Well, you want him to take their aggression and on something else, right? Totally. So that makes sense to me. Just like, don't you, you might take the day before you give it to him. I guess it's too late. You probably already gave it to him. I gave it to him. I should get a new doll.

Well, I made him earn it because I went the like upset football coach father route with it. And I was like, okay, you got a lot of ex-acid regime. We're gonna go for run. And like we ran. He's a beautiful runner too. He's greasy. But I ran the shit out of him. So Meatball, who's my new dog?

I've had him for, going on like three years. He's a little cut by the way. He's doing okay. I'm really on for months. I don't like talking about it. You've had him for a while, yeah. God, time is, what is time? So Meatball, I got him from Austin Pets alive. He is a, on his paper, a. God, time is, what is time? So, meepal, I got him from Austin Pets alive.

He is a, on his paper, a quote unquote, blue lacy mix. Nah. I can take one guess, so what that blue lacy mixed with, I would guess pit bull. I don't even know what a blue lacy is. Me neither. Hey, you know what meepal looks like? Uh huh.

A blue lacy looks like that, except without the ginormous fucking tyrannosaurus head. I think the blue laced looks like a cow-type coat, maybe? Like a white and black. He's like a bluish gray with a little turf of white and a white little sock on his white hair. His head looks like a crock pot. He looks, if you look down the barrel of a meatball.

It looks like, oh, there's my boy. That's a very good, wow. That picture does a good job of showing off the size of his noggin. He's a very poor head. I know. He's like a birdie was a dog. He's a,

his proportions are so goofy. He's five and a half. He has Tyrannosaurus Rex head and like enormous paws, but then like the skinniest, 80-bitty little like hourglass waist. He's watching his figure. He's real goofy. He's a goofy boy.

But yeah, I didn't as much as I would love a puppy and I'm loving everything that Dutch is bringing right now. I was like, I'm old and dead inside and I don't think I can keep up with that with my schedule. So I was like, yeah, I'll get an older boy. But anxiety's the thing and works its way in mysterious ways with with peppers. And my first day, I got really lucky

that my first day was the worst. It's only gotten better since then. I have to imagine it's gonna be the same with Dodge because you guys get to know each other. Yeah, you'll happen to slow on. Because like they told me they were like, hey, so you know, this dog has been in a kennel then at home and then back in a pound and all this stuff.

So it's like, he doesn't know what normal is, and he's gonna take, like, they were like, give it up to a month for some like weird behavioral things to go away. And then if there's still some behavioral issues, then you might wanna seek some help out with them. But that first month, he would do things where he would pee when he got really excited,

he would sometimes pee in his kennel, which I was like, that's not good. But that first day, I got him with this big ass metal kennel, cause I had to go to work. It was a long day. I was like, okay, hopefully this is gonna work all right. I got a con, put some peanut butter in it. This is gonna be chill.

At my lunch break, I came back just to check on him. And I got in my little carport, opened up my garage door, and people all standing there just happy as can be. And I'm like, like how that's not good And that's nice step didn't so my garage door had the paint just scraped off and there was some blood on it He'd scraped until he bled because he's poor anxious little boy There was pee all over the living room and I went to the scene of the crime He bent out of his metal kennel. He had like a scrape across his face, he was like, hey, what's up?

I'm a pipple, I feel no pain, what's going on? No, no, he's a pito, he just looked at it. He's a pito. With that big fucking mega-mind head of his. Maybe it's a helmet under his head. So then I had to go back to the store, and I like fortunately, the people at Petsmart and Tom Linson's were super fucking cool, because they're like,

yeah, you had that thing for a day. I actually know. Okay, you're not internet? I had gotten it that morning before work due to just like reasons. I only had that thing for a day. I actually know. I had gotten it that morning before work, due to just like reasons I only had that morning before working on this channel. So by lunch time, I called the, I normally go to Tom Linsons,

but I got this thing from PetSmart. And I called the same person was still on their same work shift. They're like, dude, I saw you this morning, like just bring it back in. Just bring it back in, we'll get you a better one. I was like, yeah, so I had to get like the top of the line, maximum security, Hannibal proof, like puppy kennel, but he's been really good about it ever since.

And Tizzy Piannett again. No, he's gotten over that. I think that was just the early anxiety. Yeah. But like it was wild. Like there's two things that people would comment on when they would see me fall. And that was, it's always the size of his head.

And then follow by if they were lucky enough to catch it within that first month, how big his pisses are, he will go forever. I don't know what it was if it was the thing where he was afraid to go into the last second, but like, he would go. He once went for over a minute. Like, we started timing it. We're screaming. Just, just, just letting it go.

Just looking around, just doing this thing. Like you would just hold it forever. I don't know why. Just have a tiny urethro that just comes out and like a fire needle point. It's very, maybe out of the low, man. That reminds me of a, so I was at a place where there was a bathroom that was like

a all-genders bathroom. Sorry, they just threw up a picture. I don't wanna cut off your story, I just get perfect. So the thing that Meepal does now for hours at a time is he sits near the window near my desk Sorry, they just threw up a picture. I don't wanna cut off your story. I'm just kidding. No, no, you're good. So the thing that Meepal does now, for hours at a time, is he sits near the window near my desk because there's a bunch of neighborhood cats

that live near me and they use my front yard to like walk through and they love to shit in my backyard. Now that Meepal lives there. And one time, he saw a little kitten and it stopped and they just stared each other for a bit. Oh. And it went on its way. Every day, every single day, he gets out of his canal,

I give him his food, he does thing, we do our body, and then he goes straight to that window and he will sit there for hours. Oh my God. And he just, he hopes to see them again. It makes me work. Did they come back? Every now and then, but not as often as he wants.

Oh. I know when they come back, he'll go, could he so excited? Yeah. And then they go away and then he's like, where do they go? Where do they go? He just also learned that the room next to my office

also has windows in it if he squeezes behind the couch in there. So now, this morning I actually freaked out because I couldn't find him for a second. And I was like, me, ball. And then I see all the drapes in my ass. And I was like, what the fuck? And he's like, oh god, like Jim Carrey,

like out of the rhinosaur, but like emerged from behind my couch. He's like, I'm sorry, it's just looking at cats. Anyway, sorry, you were saying. No, it's cool, it just reminds me. I was in an all-gender bathroom. And it was weird, I've never seen this before where one of those has journals in it.

Okay. Because usually it's just like stalls. You normally put that in another room. Yeah, because you got your dick out. I assume people wouldn't want people to see that. But they had the bathroom stalls and the urinals, like on opposite walls of each other. Okay.

And the bathroom stalls had those doors that had like the slates. Slates. Slats, whatever they call. Like, it's like a tilted, way out. Okay, yeah, like a window. So like, you can't see in,

but you could kind of see out. Oh, okay, I see what you're saying. Yes, I understand. I've seen it in a couple of bathrooms. And like, I'm peeing and a guy comes to the urinal directly in front of the stall I'm in, and like faces the urinal. And I'm like peeing and I like, you know,

finish up and like put on my pants. And I'm like, this would be weird if I walked out with him like right at his back towards me because maybe he doesn't know I'm in here. And like, I'll just let him finish up and walk away. He was peeing at that urinal. I think for like two and a half to three minutes. Holy shit. He had like bladder sinus where he like wasn't going for a bit. I know. I think that she went and asked him afterwards.

Could you hear him actually ping or just like waiting to pee? I couldn't, but he was like just not moving. Maybe he was on his phone. No. I don't think he was. What? You never checked your phone while you pee. I haven't stopped, I haven't halted the whole process.

You're also terrified that it looks like you're taking a picture of your penis. Yeah, no. We've been out of phone in a public bathroom is a no-go for me. For sure, yeah. I see that. I'm just wondering,

is there ever a time where you guys have to, other than like if you've held your pee for a very long time, like on a road trip or something, and you're like, I have to pee so bad and you pee for like a minute straight. But like, that seemed like a really unhealthy amount of time. Oh yeah, no, absolutely. So you get bladder infections?

I think so, yeah. And if you hold your pee for too long, was it where you had a movie theater? No, I think it was like a restaurant. Oh, I guess I was making a restaurant. But I do think girls can hold pee for longer than guys, because it's all like inside and not outside. What?

I don't know. Okay, wait, why? No, yeah, no, let it make sense. I've heard that like girls can hold pee for longer than guys cuz it's like they're all it's all inside All outside Social media team are losing their shit just self-camber right now Yeah, it's like it's like Where do you think our pee is still you know in the neck of the penis?

I mean, it's like it's like it's just waiting to come out, man. Is it not? No, you're bladder, dog. I mean, I know that, but I'm like, never. It's not like it's like, at the, it's not like it feels up into the tip of the year. I'm gonna stop, I'm gonna stop dogging on blame. I'm gonna look this up.

I'm gonna look this up because for all I know, I could be being a dickhead for absolutely no reason. Can girls hold P for the reason? Longer than men. I think it all depends on like your bladder. I mean this earn it. Do you think the P is stored in the That's for the good timeshuse. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, I'm looking at you like, what's going on with you? Cut your dick off and all his piss. Oh, interesting. Well, this sort of women are at higher risk of bladder infections than men from holding

their urine. You just say, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. It's a sense. Oh, the air is just a piece of holding the air so long. I want to say, I don't know if it's easier for women to get bladder infections than it is for guys, but it's all about like if bacteria gets in there. I think, right?

That's how you get a bladder infection. I don't fucking know. We ain't doctors. Oh my god. Oh my god. We don't know anything about their human genitalia. Let me tell you about genitalia. All right.

I gotta get off Google. I'm just seeing the darkness, the dark side of everything. There's just more questions like can your bladder explode and I was like, can your bladder explode? I clicked on it and you conversed. Sure can. So your bladder was completely full and then someone just happened to like,

no I think it just held in too long. I mean both, both are viable reasons to why you're bladder could explode. Oh, my God. Be very bad timing for someone to come and punch you once your bladder is absolutely crazy. I could imagine that. This episode of the Receipts podcast

is also brought to you by Express VPN. I've got a question for you, which of my online searches does the government have the right to know about? Maybe the weird thing I found between my toes or why my dog loves to stare at me while I poop? The answer none of the above if you have expressed VPN without Express VPNs protection though hackers governments and companies and ISPs all have full access to your data I don't want them using my web history or video searches against me. That's why I use ExpressVPN every time I go online. I've talked to

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that's exp R E S S VPN dot com slash rooster for three months free with a one year package. Visit express VPN dot com slash rooster to learn more. Thank you express VPN for sponsoring this episode of the Rooster Teeth Podcast. What would you do if you had the freedom to be anyone or to go anywhere without limitations? other Ruchitid podcast. gaming now at alienware.com. Next-gen gaming is built with Intel Core i9 processors. Hey, Eric, can you come out real quick? Well, you just jumped on there. There's something that you and I have really been wanting to talk about on this episode.

So I swear, I swear to God, because I know the viewers will get upset if this is. This is not an ad. This is not an ad. This is an honest to God testimonial that I got to give. And Eric's gonna help me out here about something that we did over the weekend that I did not know I needed in my life.

Eric welcome to the show, good to see you, bud. Thank you very much. Hi, Eric, everyone, this is Eric Bedur. Eric, I know him. Nope, not necessary, thank you very much. Why else, what did we do this weekend? So, our good friend Cole hit us up this weekend inviting us out to do-

Also from the steam era. Also from the steam era, yes. Invite us out to a steam era. Also from the steam era, yes. Invite us out to a fun friendship event. So our buddy, Jeb and Travis, who both work here at Ruchitief, have started a bit of a side business together with this other guy Matt, as well as a few other people.

And this side business is called Game On ATX. And what it is is a game show experience. And the best or I can just explain what that is is imagine the immersion and like going out to do an escape room combined with your favorite trivia night at a bar. Essentially, we went split into two teams of three and played Wheel of Fortune, family feud, and then did like the the Plinko game. And they didn't let you out until you

want two of the three games. So that's exactly what we want, three of the three games. So it's fun. You can go to hell. Wow, hogs, baby. Yeah, no, it was 30. Your team name was 30 to 40, Farrell. You walk in, and they split you into teams,

and they have you pick a color, a team name, and then give you a name tag. It's like, oh, right, whatever name you want, just not your own name. And then when you hear the music, walk through that door. Holy shit. It was like, from the get-go, because I didn't know what to expect.

When I was like, what is a game show experience? And when Cole tried explaining to me, I was like, oh, that'll probably be cool. I'm in like the, I'm not a typical customer in that, like some of us have had the opportunity to do things like Tuesday night game fight, and like, on the spot, and stuff like that, where it's like, oh, I've had the experience of I'm not a typical customer in that like some of us have had the opportunity to do things like Tuesday night game fight and like on the spot and stuff like that. Where it's like, oh, I've had the experience

of like being on a set. I'm sure it won't be that cool. I was so fucking wrong. And I knew they were, I knew they were doing something really smart the moment I saw the name tags thing because right at the gate they're essentially like, hey, come up with the fun character that you're gonna be. I was Bert Winningston, sadly I lost.

Oh, I was, I was big Mike. You were big Mike. Big Mike. So is it like, I was big Mike. You were a big Mike. Big Mike. So is it like, are they gonna, is this like a production that they're gonna show or do you like get a video? It's like an escape room. It's a escape room, right?

You essentially rent a room for like 60 or 90 minutes. Okay. It can do up to 12 people. I'm, you're gonna eventually get split into two teams. So two teams of six. And yeah, so you go in, you get split into your teams, you each go into like a green room, and you watch like a little tutorial video

of like what's gonna go down, you come up with, yeah, your character name, your team name, and then a color, and they're like, hey, it'll be best if you choose a vibrant color. And then yeah, go out when you hear the music, and you're like, okay, and sure enough, we hear the music. We open the door, and there's our friend, fucking Jeb, standing at this podium,

Jeb was the host, Jeb was the host. It was, it was, it was, it was amazing. A long microphone. He did not, he did not. They're just getting started. And you know, maybe they will for the thing, this was it was the host. It was a sit jacket. It was a very amazing microphone. He did not, he did not. They're just getting started. And you know, maybe they will for the thing. This was just a test play. We were helping them out and testing some of the games

and stuff and questions. But that must be also like pretty taxing for whoever's the host. Oh, I think it's gotta be exhausted. Cause they're gonna have to do like hour after hour. My assumption is that they're gonna, cause we're gonna ask them about that and it may sound like they'll probably have different hosts.

Like it's not just like one person the whole time. But I don't like escape rooms. I don't like experiences. I don't like, when I go out, I don't like, I don't. I want to go home, go to, I want to go out, go drink, hang out, and then go home and not have like, this is a fun group activity for team building. I'm not my speed at all. So when this was pitched to me is like, it's an team building. My speed at all.

So when this was pitched to me, it's an escape room, but with board games, I went, well, we're already going to be getting pizza. So I'm in. Guys, it was funny shit. And I recommended it to everyone. Yeah, so they don't have a live audience, which they have like a clap or laugh.

They have a dude, the Matt, the producer. He don't have a live audience which they have like a clap or they have a dude the Matt the producer Amazing comedic timing like I think I'm your team made a joke at one point you hit the cricket button But no dude it was fucking rad and like you come out and obviously like it's not like super glitzing glam But like it looks solid like Travis built some really dope set pieces. I got some pictures up on Instagram. I don't know if y'all can pull them up, but that would be me. So no one's going to fall.

Oh, there you go. I knew it afterwards. My man used to say, but it was so exciting. You come out and your podium is lit up with the color that you chose. And they're behind us. We were tallahassy turquoise because we picked turquoise and then needed a little iteration. And there was a picture of just the city of tallahassy turquoise because we picked turquoise and then needed a little iteration. And there was a picture of just like the city of tallah

and it's on the monitor behind us with our color. And then you guys had just some fucking hogs on your screen. Yellow and the thing was all lit up. And it was like, it really, when I walked in and saw it, it made me go, how's no one done this before? Yeah, that's what I'm wondering. So, it's so smart.

It's the spinning the giant wheel. Dog. Fucking awesome. Yeah, that's why I'm wondering. So, it's so smart. It's the spinning the giant wheel. Dog. Fucking awesome. Yeah, it was so fun. It's a, apparently there's only like three or four other places in the United States that do something like this. And they went and they visited one of them just to be like, hey, well, what are we, what are we up against?

And as they said it very cheekily, they're like, I think we can do this better when they came back. And they did it fucking great. So again, this is not a spade, paid sponsor thing. This is just us talking about like what we did. But I want so many people to go, I wanna go again this weekend. Hell yeah, honestly, they open on Friday here in Austin,

they're kind of up north. Again, it's game on ATX. And they're open for business. They're open for business on Friday. It's their first, I guess it's like the first thing. People should go. I really would go back and do it again. I'll try to remember.

I want to bring a group, it's BYOB, which is perfect. Oh my God. This is the greatest invention of all time. Yeah, super fucking fun. Check it out if you're into that sort of thing. Standing at the podium, there's a family-like style thing. Standing at the podium across from Tyler Ericsson and having to answer first was so fun.

Like it was so good. It was in theory, going up against Cole who has the most incredible reaction speed ever, but I got him on that Sonic the Hedgehog. There was one answer that was on the Hedgehog, and of course Miles got it. Of course. And they don't record it.

They don't like, you can't take home a recording. No, they're right now, you know, it's again, they've taken a very small space and done some really impressive stuff with it. And I can only see if this thing does take off and they do get some patronage and customers and stuff like they'll be able to afford. They talk about some things that they already want

to make better. But as we were, because afterwards, we wanted to help them out and give them our feedback on stuff like, hey, what was working, what wasn't, all that. And really, everything that we were talking about is like, honestly, this is just icing. You guys have it.

It's just like, you wanna make it cooler, like you can have this infographic or whatever, but man, it was so fucking cool. It was so fun. Yeah. I'm just imagining that Seinfeld episode where Kramer gets a talk show set and puts it in his apartment.

Do you see that one? No, I don't think so. So good. Yeah. Anyway, it's a good episode. Seinfeld, can't go wrong. Okay, here you go. Gosh, I don't think so. Thanks, Eric. Anyway, it's a good episode. Sam Hill. Okay, go wrong. Okay, here you go.

Gosh, I really wanna go do that now. It's really fucking cool. It was like, because you know, like sometimes like a friend will ask you like, hey, you know, come out, I have like an art exhibit or like come see my band and like obviously you're gonna go to support them. Sure. And like the odds of you like genuinely having a good time

aren't always like the highest. Pretty sweet. Like a hot 50. It's always a wonderful surprise when like you go on, you're like, oh my gosh,'t always like the highest. Pretty sweet. Like a hot 50. It's always a wonderful surprise when like you go on you're like, oh my gosh, she can sing. That was fucking rad. Like, oh, that play was actually really funny. This was 100%. Like, I don't know how this is going to go.

We'll see it. And I left there like, can we go again? Like best two out of three. Like, yeah, here's some of the pictures. That's called the big wheel. Oh, wow. I'm big. Alex, great.

Yeah, dude. That's very cool. It's really, it's really, really cool. Oh, and there's Jeb and his little Jeb. So I want to hedgehog what up. Um, yeah, congratulations, Eric and to the 30 to 40 Ferrell hogs on their victory over the Tallahassee Terco. Was he the guy with the Eric's team?

What's that? Who's the other person? Oh, we had a, they, they just had, because they wanted to specifically test out 3v3, they just had one of their friends who don't know any of the answers to just help out and be on our team. I think his name was Mike, I don't know, he was fun. Awesome. But yeah, thanks, Jabb and Travis and Cole

and everybody that invited us out on the Steam.com. Game on ATX. That'd be awesome if it was like in full production run while RTX is going on. Yeah. People in town who come try to. Or do a panel or something like that.

Oh man, yeah, it was like really I would love to go with you guys The next time you're free. I'd be worried. I'd be too competitive That was actually one thing we talked about we're like so what do you do if you get if like you bring someone in here That's gonna like you mean blame I mean blame and it was like well, they were like they were talking I'm like well, it's the same people you know You have to put some responsibility on the people inviting folks, right? Because it's like, you learn over time, hey, I don't want to play this game with that person, right?

It's that same thing. But, you know, one of my favorite things to do is just drink and play trivial pursuit on PlayStation with my friends or like the Jackbox party games. It felt like doing that, but on a fucking game show set. And it's like just you and your friends too. So there's not like pressure of other people watching or judging or whatever. They talked about if it continues to go well, maybe even doing some like theme nights or theme days, like hey today, it's all Harry Potter related like game show trivia questions. How does the

trivia work? Is it the same questions every time? No, no, no, no, they were like a bucket. So one of the yeah, no, they have tons. Like the dude that that one of the guys that's building this thing, who I believe again, his name was Matt, like, he's got like an insane amount of questions on rotation and wants to like completely change it from like week to week. And he's done a, they have done a ton of work. They should do like an algorithm to where if you have attended it in the previous times, they can look up that time and then that way they don't repeat questions. It's so interesting, right?

Because like you start when you think about this sort of thing and then you realize that like you haven't really seen it before, you start to think about what it could be. So we were like, oh, dude, will you ever have like leaderboards for like returning teams? And some of them like, oh, we thought about that. We thought about this, we're doing that. Like it was super, super cool to be able to be there

at the start of this thing. Because I genuinely believe it's going to take off if enough people hear about it. Which is why I was like, hey, are you cool if I just put you on blast on this podcast? I don't want to. And the guy was like, fuck yeah, man, please. It kind of sounds like the void type thing. What's the way? Is it the Star Wars VR thing? You haven't done that?

No, we haven't done that. That's the story. Chris, you and I went right. Yeah, yeah. So it's like, oh, well, I don't want to ruin too much, just because there's like story elements where... Yeah, so it's like, oh, well, I don't want to ruin too much just because there's like story elements where, yeah. But anyways, like you are essentially playing as a rebel spy and you get guns and it's all VR, you're breaking into an imperial base.

Oh, cool. And I don't want to say much else about the story, but like you can shoot each other and you guys have to get this. And it's like a one-to-one ratio. So when you take a step in the game, you, you move in real life in the space that you're virtually. So you walk up to lava and then there's like heat and, and hot air blowing from it.

You die in the game, you die for real. Yeah. They, they, they, they're there and then they just blast. And then, you know, and you're like, you see yourself as like a stormtrooper and immediately we all started like, pumping each other. And then the guys are like, we can see you guys just like, and then it's fun. What is, I've heard about this thing that they're doing now in certain theaters.

That's like, it's like a 4D like, physical movement experience. It's like, D-Box or something like that? Yeah, I've been around for a long time. That's work. Well, that's like a, I swear to God, everything you say today is like,

oh, you haven't made out in a car. Oh, you haven't been to D-Box? Like, I've never done D-Box. It's an, you haven't made out in a car. Oh you haven't been to D-box I've never done D-box. It's it. Um, you haven't done D-box. It's been out for a long time. Okay. It's been out for like there's a ride at Disney World. I think it's like the Star Wars ride that has that like where all the seats move A lot of it. Oh, Gallic. Disney Land. Something troopers that was my best. That was my best. That was my best. That was my best. That was my best.

That was my best. That was my best. That was my best. That was my best. That was my best. That was my best. That was my best. That was my best.

That was my best. That was my best. That was my best. That was my best. That was my best. That was my best. That was my best. That was my best.

That was my best. That was my best. That was my best. That was my best. That was my best. That was my best. That was my best. That was my best. That was my best. That was my best. That was my best. I heard some folks want to go see Hobbs and Shaw in the D-Box and that is something I would absolutely go and do. So I think yeah, like there's probably a dude that has this like a Screening of the movie and then he just programs the movie. It's like, oh, well the character goes this way

So I'm gonna turn the chair. It seems pretty intense. Yeah, can I ask a question here? No, okay. Yes. Oh, okay Are we okay to talk about Hobbs and Shaw spoilers or is that movie come out too soon? Is it you recent? I don't I'm not gonna see it. I'm not going to see it either. What can you say? What do you think? Talk about it. All right. Who cares? Yeah, okay. Good for Hobbs and Shaw. I've never been a strong follower of the very of the of the go fast angry franchise. Uh-huh. But I did want to go see, like, pants on head, stupid action movie. And so I want to go see Hobbs and Shaw

knowing that, like, the Animal Jafft has typically does, like, hey, here's, like, a little montage before the movie. Like, this is who Hobbs and Shaw is. This is what they do. Yeah, they have, like, history of movies and characters that have maybe been in these movies. So the previous. So, my friends and I did get shit house drunk

before we went to see this movie. Very nice. And of course at the draft house, just kept that train role and that steam train role. And what's cold there? Cold powered. Cold, I think was there actually powering that steam. Oh yeah.

I could not tell you the story of Hobbes and Shaw per se, but I could tell you that it is one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my entire goddamn life and is absolutely worth seeing. You're saying it right? You're ironically like. Oh, yeah, oh no, it is like, it is, that script is held together by like scotch tape

and paper clips and I fucking loved it. I loved it dude like there's like bits in there where it's like oh man We have this fucking two super top secret like a government made high sci fi Muguffin device. We went through all this trouble to get it. Oh, but it's broken. What are we gonna do? And then the rocks like I got a brother that fixes cool cars, and he's like, perfect. And then like cool cars, brother is like, you want me to fix this thing? I've never seen him before in my life.

I hate you because of our past. You know that past, that past that we hate, I hate you. It's, I'll do it. And then like one montage later, it's like, there you go, brother, you want me for life. How many references to family were made? It's the entire film. Okay.

It's just the entire film. It's the rock family in that, right? It is the rock's family. Well, not to get too spoilt, but Jason Statham's family might show up in ways you may not expect wink to camera. Wow. No, I feel like I'm in a pitch meeting for this film.

It's incredibly, here's the pitch meeting. Are you ready? What if we put the rock and Jason Statham in a movie and for this. It's incredibly, here's the pitch meeting. Are you ready? What if we put the rock and Jason Statham in a movie and have him fight Ejraselba? Ooh. Sold. That's it. But here's, so this is what I wanted to get to.

Do this, no, he's cooking. So, so, they actually, I think have a joke. No, they do have a joke in there about like the rock. That makes, like, it kind of hints at the rocks like Ibarraes. It's kind of cute. Anyways, what's so interesting about this film that gets more interesting when you start to know I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm black Superman, like Super Soldier, like we're introducing superheroes in the world of Fast and the Furious because fuck it, like right, fuck it at this point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He never wins a fight in the entire movie. He's like Portrait is like this really big, really dangerous dude, but he never wins a fight. And I found out that's because the rock has it in his contract that he is not allowed to lose a fight on screen, the best he can do is a draw.

Wait, like ever in movies are just this serious. It is apparently something that has been a thing through the Fast and the Furious franchise and through this film. I don't know all the intricate details. We're looking into watching you on the show. Of Dwayne The Rocks, Johnson's, you know. I'm not gonna be good at my contact, too.

No, yeah. They never come up. Yeah. No one ever thought to put Christopher in here as the fight scene. What? So they have to change like the whole, will not the whole movie.

So it's like he poses like each of his character poses a threat and it's still like very cool fights, but it wasn't until at the end of the movie where I was like that bitch just lost every single time like he wasn't a threat ever, I guess. He's just swinging at him and missing. Yeah, no, it's always just like in the last second,

like a fucking tower falls and cuts the chase off before you can see what happens. He's like, it got away again. But next time, I don't know why that guy, that would eat yourself, it sounds like in my head. So it feels like stakes are relatively low just because you go into it knowing. It's kind of like a Marvel movie.

It's like, oh, I know that they've signed on for another. Kind of, yeah. But it takes you low. But it's one of those things where it's like, like every single fight is for the fate of like everything. And there's, it checked off the list of like cliche action tropes in ways that like I had never seen done so boldly.

Which seemed almost fake, right? It, dude, okay. So you know, in the Scott Pilgrim movie, Chris Evans character is like a Hollywood action movie star. Yeah. And you see like trailers for his films and like clips from the movies that he's in. I felt like I was watching one of those like parody films. I had a fucking blast, dude. I had such a good time. I felt that way when I saw Power Rangers. Oh, yeah. Cause it's so bad, but so over the top. And like the second the music kicks in, you're

just like I couldn't finish Power Rangers, but I feel like if I took a crack at it intoxicated and maybe I don't even remember like I just said one point like my hand just had a life of its own and then turned off the television Oh, no, it's fucking dog shit. Yeah. I watched the scene, like the cutting for one scene, was like, cutting for, like the editing, like there's no L-cutting. I thought that the cutting scene, I was like, why did she just grow up?

No L-cutts are J-cuts. Anytime anybody talked, the camera was on them and like it was just like, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap. And it was just like, I've got ever since we've been doing more shorts and I started like directing stuff. I can't not notice that with like film and TV. I'm just like, now they're doing it over the shoulder here

and like this and like knowing that, you know, everything is done from one angle first and like it just really takes you out of it for a second. But yeah, screenwriting class is that for me. I was never like, much of a movie snob, I was like, have you like it if you don't? And yeah, like there was some, there was like a period probably in my early 20s which was like, I don't think that was a very good movie

because of this or that was kind of a, I'm at this point now, I'm just like, hey, did it make you smile? Yeah, fucking get it, my dude, fucking get it. And that's me with Hobbs and Shaw. It makes me wanna go back and watch all the Fast and the Fury. And that keeps my movies like this.

Do you wanna do Hobbs and Shaw, Power makes me want to go back and watch all the Fast and the Fury. And that case, right? And that case, right? Do you want to do Hobbs and Shaw, Power Rangers, Double Feature? Yes. Yes, absolutely. And then we'll go to Game On. And we'll go to Game On, how are you? Just be like the most, Luh.

Pokemon was that for me. Pokemon was that for me? Exactly. Yeah, I was. I think it was actually good though. Like, people enjoyed it. Dory was just like, it was a kids movie. That's the thing, that movie is absolutely kids movie. It has like, in theory was just like, it was a kids movie. That's the thing, that movie is absolutely kids movie.

It has like, in the same way that like, the plot to the early Pokemon films was like silly and ridiculous. It's like, yeah, fuck it. Yeah, who cares? Kids movie, yeah. Push that shark off the table, so it does not break. Yeah, I was still like, pretty grand.

Like, I don't know. They probably, if it's hard to tell how much of that movie got me because it was nostalgia or because it was actually like Oh, it's fun cute and stuff like that But like the whole time I was like welling up with tears during the You have a heart. Do you think are you one of the people that thinks it's the best video game movie ever made? Oh, interesting. No doom is right Eric. Yeah, okay

It will be until Sonic the Hedgehog comes out. No, the best video game movie, well, okay. Better is that I will, I will, I will go to bat for this movie. And I'm wise. I was gonna say, Edge of Tomorrow or Live Diabetes. Okay, but that's not that based off the game.

It's all based off of a movie, but like, that's not based off the game. I agree with that, but I have to that base off the game. It's all it's based off of movie, but that's not based off of I agree with Chris on this. I has to be based off of an existing video game intellectual property. Then what's yours? I'm gonna rack my brain for video game movies, but I think like right now the only thing that's come to mind is yeah, Pokemon might might be it to take a picture. The 1990s brought us a lot of great things, but the Mortal Kombat movie is without question, the fucking best video game. You've never seen it. You've never seen my combat video.

You do a triple feature then? I'll fucking kill myself. I'll fucking kill myself. Here's why I fucking love the Mortal Kombat movie. There's some fucking, just, there's some acting choices made in that film, but it is also like, it's so absolute cheeseball. And so is the Mortal Kombat game series.

Like the Mortal Kombat game series is fucking absurd. This guy was in an accident, but we gave him fucking robotic arms, and now he's gonna punch his weight of justice to fight this sorcerer. Yes. Like, it's fucking right. Mortal Kombat and the late Nilation insulting.

But Mortal Kombat, the original Mortal Kombat film is, I think, Doom's very close, but I think Mortal Kombat manages to be in a fun entertaining movie that for the most part stays pretty true to the storyline. Because my biggest issue with the Doom movie is they, like, they did a wink and a nod to the evil demons of hell, but they didn't do it.

It was like, oh, it's a virus that affects people who are bad because the human genome or some horseshit, like it was still fun, but you don't get as intense as fighting demons from hell on Mars in the future. Oh, absolutely not. Yeah, the best part of Mortal Kombat from me was the Johnny Cage fake out, where the first time you meet that character,

he's in a fight. He's in a sick, sick, sick, spoiler. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've watched that movie so many times playing you have no idea. It was like my brother and I would just put that shit that honestly the do movie we watch that shit all the time. I watched the man. I remember going like when Mortal Kombat came out and like talking about it in the cafeteria being like oh so cool who was Who was the actor that played Lord Raiden in that movie does anyone remember oh?

He played he was the highlander Yeah, Christopher Lambert Christopher Lambert Christopher Lambert Decided his acting choice was to whisper Yeah, it was it was still got a name my character only whisper He's so much for no, it's so great because he has lines where he's like The realms will come together and fight immortal combat and if you lose Your world will perish That's actually really good. I don't think so.

I mean, Lambert's like combined with a snake. He's man and snake in one. He has like a list, but he's still like, it's not a girl. He looks like it's a cool list. It's a cool list. What are you saying that girl lists aren't cool? Oh, you do your nearest.

That's this one? I've told you about how it's impossible to sound intimidating while saying the word crisps, right? crisps. Well, when while saying the word crisps, right? Crisps! Well, when you try and say crisps in a really intimidating, say, hey, punk, give me those crisps. Can I, can I, can I, I'll give you an online? Oh, give me your fucking crisps. Oh god, I can't, I can't do it.

You can't do it. Chris, Chris, Chris, give me one. Chris, alright, I'm gonna make it aggressive. Alright. Oh boy, I can't wait for that Thanks for the warning You think you're so big with you Take two here we go. Hey Chris You think you're so big with your crisps put him down and fight me

How did you feel about that? How do you think that one? You're about to just fucking do it up. His testies are gonna get ripped off. Tell him about his crisps. Oh. Uh huh. Put down your fucking crisps. That's that, that wasn't bad.

Cause you would consider putting those crisps down. That's not that. There was a lot of like fucking hate crisps. I think the louder you get with it, the whisper was the right approach. The whisper and the like, oh, I fucked up. Put your crisps, the fuck down.

I guess Christopher Lambert was right. Christopher Lambert was right. You gotta give it that intense whisper. Maybe if you were adjacent, say them with like a, with a cottony got accent. Can we do a, a gamble? What? a with a cottony got a gamble. What? A gamble. It's me, gamble.

What is gamble? It's a gamble. It's a gamble. It's a gamble. It's a gamble. Life. It's a character. We're playing Mario Maker or whatever that means.

Yeah, Mario Maker. And it's like the. So there's a level where they weren't Goombas, but they look like Goombas. I know what you're talking about. And everyone's like, what are these things? They look like like knock off Goombas And I was like, is Gambo? Gambo. His name's Gambo.

He's to rule out DiMario King to- It just came out of nowhere and then Gus was like, I'm, Gus very rarely almost gets on the brink of tears with laughter, but he was fucking dying. And then Barbara was just like, oh, Gambo. Yeah, then I would not stop doing it. But for some reason, it's one of those things like, usually if you do a joke over and over and over,

it gets very old very quick, which I'm sure for some people, it did. of those things, usually if you do a joke over and over and over, it gets very old, very weird. Which I'm sure for some people, it did. But it wasn't for Gus. He's just like, I just love it. I don't know why it's tickling me so much. Give me more gamble. That's what it does, I mean. That's like how, like we, it started, I don't remember who started the joke, but now

it is like ingrained itself in our vocabulary. There's a certain group of friends of mine that we no longer say what's up my dude. We go, hey, my dad, I don't know why. I don't remember what started. You were there, you were on the trip. My dad. Hey, my dad, what's going on, my dad? Yeah, was it Colorado?

That was the Colorado trip. Yeah, I think Mitch started that. It stuck, yeah. It did, it is now part of it. I like it. It led to one of my- I feel like it could be weird if I said it. No, why, was that my dad? It I said it. No, what, what's that, my dad?

It's up dad. No, now, okay, now you did do a little mist of there. You gotta proceed it with my. It's up my dad. There you go. My dad, yeah, yeah, yeah. You get me careful, my dad. You know what, it doesn't work?

Daddy is the problem. I was gonna say, if you make it, it's up my daddy. Oh, I think, hey, hey, stop my daddy. Give me those Chris. I am. Daddy is another word that you can't say intimidating me. Is that right, daddy? Yeah, yeah, no, yeah, no, that felt really wrong.

I need to be like, you're to fuck me. Like you're like, Is that right, daddy? Is that right, daddy? Oh, fucking cut you, daddy. Whoa, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I think he was still saying. No, it doesn't work.

I feel like I need to make my voice deeper for just sound intimidating. And by doing that, it makes the sound less intimidating. Mm-hmm. It doesn't work. I think daddy's harder than crisps. crisps. I don't know.

crisps, you just like hit, it's the SPS. Yeah, sorry, Kishya. Krishya off my crisp. Do you have much TikTok? What if you did this? What if you said I'm gonna fuck you up so much I'm gonna make you. Oh wait, I'm gonna. I'm gonna.

You got it, you got it. Yeah. I'm gonna make you my dad. Oh, no. You're gonna have so my dad. No. No, man. You're gonna have so much authority on me. No, I mean, I made it the other way. Like, I'm gonna become your daddy.

I'm gonna fuck you up so much. I'll be your daddy. That's like, no, that's worse. That doesn't make, yeah, that's not great. It's not super good what you did there. What was that about TikTok literally anything on the phone now? I was gonna, I was changing the subject. Um, you do it daddy. Do you guys have TikTok on your phone? Like do you watch any

tiktoks? I had it downloaded for a day and then I was like, I don't need to own TikTok because I'm friends with Carrie Shockross. He sends me the best of TikToks, great, it's his, now that's TikTok. That's what I call TikToks volume seven. Yeah, featuring the rubber chicken guy. It's Wednesday my dudes and what are those? Those are all dead means I'm old. God, sometimes the internet isn't a complete cesspit. Yeah.

And it's great when it's mad. Although the rest of TikTok is a complete cesspit. It's not great. It's not, it's very uncomfortable. Like it. Uncomfortable. I feel like I'm committing some type of felony watching them. Well, because I'm 30.

Is it a good younger teens? Well, yes. So, so people who I could be their daddy. Cole, Cole and I have this conversation where it is interesting watching comedy evolve on things like Vine and TikTok and Snapchat because so much of it now is, like you'll see like it's a teenager doing something that is like intentionally overperformed

and like quote unquote cringy and weird, but it's like all 100% like this is intended to make you feel uncomfortable. Yeah. And it's like a lot of it too is also like tons of awareness around like mental health and stuff. And it's like, a lot of it too is also like, tons of awareness around like mental health and stuff. And it's like, awesome. Because like, what, not even like five years ago,

it's like, oh, you're talking about going to therapy, fucking loser. And now I'm like, if someone wants to talk about therapy, I'm like, oh my god, therapy is great. Tell me about Jean, I go to Carolyn. Like, it's just like, it's super, super interesting, already seeing that like, culture shifts. And a little bit scary, a lot of it scary. I'm very scared. I'm constantly scared.

There, I think there is so much for that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that. For that Similar to you and have you know similar problems and you could like share in things and Tips and tricks and also just like making yourself feel like less alone But also you find other like minded people who maybe have a Bad thoughts or bad intentions and those people bond together to create a valid date toxic Oh, so you're canceled Chris kicked my dog. There's that idea. You're right underneath me, I didn't realize it.

You're just going to be like, sometimes there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Yeah. Because that's how you end up in echo chambers. Where you think that because someone thinks like you, then everybody must think like you, then people that don't think like you are wrong. And that's when it starts to get kind of like,

oh, no. Variety is the spice of life. But if you're just fucking huffing cinnamon, you're gonna have a bad time. On any end of the spectrum. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, it's interesting. Scary and interesting. You know where Dutch? Dutch is like, I really enjoy this sociopolitical commentary. He finally comes down. He was yanking around a lot. I'm gonna have to get by him in Newlish because he discovered that he likes chewing on the leash. I want our boys to meet. Cause I don't meet yet.

No, not yet. That's the thing that I still need to work on with me, Paul, is like, he's aggressively submissive. So his first instinct is he likes to lick the mouth, which apparently is a submissive move. I've been told, I have you people, I'm sure I will get tweets after this podcast. But apparently like licking another dog in mouth is like been told, I have you people. I'm sure I will get tweets after this podcast.

But apparently, like, licking another dog in mouth is like, hey, I'm a bitch. You're the daddy. But here's the thing with me ball is like, he will run over to another dog and immediately go to lick the face and the other dog is like, I'm gonna die. And then we'll like growl and bite at him and then me ball's

like, what the fuck's going on? And he just goes like, zoomies bananas way too fucking much. So right now, what I have to do is whenever he meets another dog, the other dog just needs to be in the same room. And I'll keep meatball just like, if I'm sitting on a couch wedged between the couch and my legs, and I just hold onto his leash, and they just have to coexist in the same space for like 20, 25 minutes.

Or let the other dog come to him. Yeah, and then he'll start to like chill out and then and then he's a little more calm But like right now man, it is just like I Want to take him to a dog park, but he's not ready like he's he's I feel like you're a big chompers and I don't I don't want to put any other You're in a good situation because so many people here have dogs that could just come over to your place and like slowly Do some tomorrow morning. I have to come over because he needs to release the movies. Let me know like any time this week, if you wanna come chill, just let me know. That's what we did with Patrick Matthews

and his dog, Addy. Yeah, yeah. He came over. That was his first puppy play day. It was super sweet. Well, he does the thing where apparently like when I adopted him, they were saying, we used to team him up, he's got,

he's all like marked up and stuff like that. Cause apparently they used to like, let him play with the aggressive dogs because he was so fucking relaxed and chill that in turn they would calm them down. And then I'm just like, well, that seems like not great. But I mean, that sounds like I'm shit talking to the shelter, they were awesome.

And they take really good care of their dogs. I got them from Paus and Kyle Texas. But now he's been pretty cool. He loves other dogs. It's the same sort of thing where he's a big dog. He comes up and wants to play. And then they're just like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom kind dog face. She's a good, powerful, easy girl. And Rebel was just the best dog in the world.

He's got some common down in it, but he's still very much his puppy hood, so. I just realized that my dog just looks like Bowser for Mario. Yeah. I realized that's what he's looking like. The fact that you did not name him Bowser now makes me. He looks like Mario 64, Bowser.

Like a big bloated like, be allergic reaction face. Or does he look like Gambo? Do you know what I'm like, Gambo? Just kidding, Gambo looks like Mario 64 about. Like a big bloated like, be allergic reaction phase. Oh, it does it look like Gambo. Do you know what I'm saying? Just kidding, Gambo looks like no one. Gambo is a spirit. Gambo just is. I've been running into a lot more situations

where I'm meeting other people. I've been walking, I've walked more in this past week than I have in the past year. Like I'm just regular random walks, see, watching the sunrise and sunset. It's beautiful. I'm also meeting my neighbors and their dogs

and stuff like that. I fucking suck at just like cold calling talking to people. Cold call? Like, just like, we're like, you walk up and you just strike out a conversation. Hey, what's up with yourself? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was like, just like, stumble with yourself.

There's like, there's two, like, beautiful women that were like, oh, you're so good. They're like, okay. It's the perfect opportunity. It is. And then they're like, how did I say it? I was like, you didn't see it too. And I've literally said that and was like,

I think from my perspective, I've been a lady seeing a guy with a cute dog and like wanting to pet it. But you never know if you're bothering that person or if like they don't want people to pet their dog or they're just trying to go about their day and walk. If you help make conversation and ask them questions and stuff, it'll show that you're actually like, no, yes, pet my dog, talk to me.

The thing I'm trying not to do is, and everybody does this and there's nothing wrong, that's very cute, but I just don't want to do it. It's people talk for their dogs. Oh, please don't do that. Yeah, they'd be like, he does like the beer, doesn't he? Yeah, he's like, he says, thank you.

You know, like shit like that, where you said, I want to say he doesn't know. Yeah, I do that. Or if you do, give him a voice that is not same appropriate at all. Yeah. He does like that, does he? He does like that.

Do it, he. Yeah, he likes it when you call him daddy. I'm touched. I am. I'm having to definitely be like, dirty. Yeah, he likes it when you call him daddy. I'm touched. I am. I'm having to definitely be like, so first off, that whole new thing of like people coming up and talking to you when you have a dog, it feels like in like fallout when you have gotten a perk

that now unlocks like a new dialogue tree. That's like, oh, now you can talk to people about being the dragonborn or some fucking shit or like, oh, you're a mage, so you can talk about this. Like now it's like, oh, now you can talk to people about being the dragonborn or some fucking shit or like, oh, you're a mage. You can talk about this. Like now it's like, you have dog and you can talk about dog things with other dog people. Five charisma.

Yeah. But the thing I am now, like hyper aware of, is like, leash laws in Austin and the whole like, can I pet your dogs? People came from a house where the kids there weren't super cool with him and he gets really anxious around kids now. And that's like everyone's worst fear of pitball

with child. And so I went to the UT LSU tailgating thing with a buddy of mine this past weekend. And I was like, I'm, you know, I like getting him to socialize and stuff. So I brought him out knowing that the whole time like he's gonna be right next to me and I'm gonna be holding on to him, like, because this is something

that we just both need to work on together. Overall, he was really chill. At one point, a girl came up, was like, can I please put your dog, and I had to like, heartbreaking to say, like, he gets really nervous, so maybe not, but he's so much for asking. She's like, okay, very sweet, super kind.

I turn around, some other fucking bitch, just walked over like eight years old dresses and cheerleaders, like, I like your dog. And I was like, okay, well maybe let's not. And fortunately like me, but I was like, what are you? Like it was I like I've never had that anger before, but I was like, you don't know this dog. You don't know what he's seen and what he's been through.

Please don't get my dog in trouble by putting your stupid child hands on it. It's always that of courtesy to if you want if you see a cute dog and you want to pet it, always ask the owner like, is it okay if I pet like? Yeah, after the UTLSU game, this fucking UT fan comes up to my dog, and he's drunk, I can tell. And he sees me walking him, doesn't talk to me, doesn't say anything to me, goes right up and he like immediately gets in his face. And he's like, he's like, he's the most loving dog in the world. So he's just like, huh? But then he's just like, and face. He's like, he's the bobo. And luckily he's like the most loving dog in the world.

So he's just like, huh. But then he's just like, he's there for like seven to 10 seconds, like totally overstays his welcome. And I was like, oh, so fucking mad about that. Yeah, I get like really defensive. Also a guy, did you say anything to him? Huh? And just he kind of like left.

He just, you're like, all right, I'm gonna see you later. You know, he's like walked off. And like his friends like like, oh, come on, dude. Come on, daddy. You said the thing that I said earlier. No, daddy. No, daddy. No, daddy. No, daddy. No, just in the Chris. Oh, Ross, been pretty cool. That's good. Like, when I was like super upset with them and I'd spent like, you know, like, fucking $150 in toys or whatever, and I was taking them for a run, and I just, I was so upset with them.

But I wasn't gonna take it out. It was just so upset. It's just like, I felt it in my heart of hearts. It's like, I'm such a bad dog dad. I was like, questioning everything. And then literally, cats in the cradle came up on my iPhone. Oh my god.

And it was like, I'm a terrible son. And then I like, I pulled him over to the side, rolled him in some grass, and was like, I love you. Oh my god. And it was like, I'm a terrible son. And then I like, hold him over to the side, rolled him in some grass, and was like, I love you. You fucking asshole, you're the best dog ever. Aww. Yeah. It's been cool. You like, in having a dog?

Because you had kind of, like, I know you were thinking about it for a while, but then like, that you just had a dog. Yeah. No, I mean, it's just like one of the things where like, I overall am very happy about it. He had been like, like, toying with the idea. He was, he was viewing adopting a dog, like, tender or something,

where he was looking at dog profiles online. And it's like, I think, come look at, look at, look at speckles over here. Should I swipe that on? I don't know what do you think, I was like, and then people like, well, you really kind of, kind of got to, you know, it's hard to tell from pictures. Kind of got to get meet them in person.

I don't know what this reveals about me as a human being, but whenever I'm on dating apps, I'm like, no, no, no. Oh, okay, yeah. No, no, no, no. When I was looking through the adoption pages of a website, I was like, I can't see what any of these guys are doing. You know what I was just like?

I couldn't say no, but then human beings, I'm like, nah, swipe no. Well, you're also not fucking the dogs. So, then you're just crying. Let me, so they're different. No one's cutting to me

because they don't want to see my skin reaction, so there are so many, like a dog, this is something you will own for years and it's part of your family and like every dog is perfect and precious. Whereas like, people you wanna like just hang out

with their date, like you could be a little more just like, eh. The most honest thing is people are the worst. Dogs are innocent angel centers. Yeah. You would, you, you would adopt a dog. It's with you for like 10 plus years versus you can go on a one date with someone

and never see them again. Yeah, you can't one day be like, hey, Dutch. Ah. It's not working out. I don't know, I think we need to see other people. Yeah, let's be real. On those dating apps one day be like, hey, Dutch. It's not working out. I don't know, I think we should see other people. Yeah, let's be real. But on those dating apps, it's like, what I fuck this person.

That's usually a thought that goes through head. And so that's a pretty easy, usual like, okay, yes, no, yes, no. It's cool too, because I don't want kids. I really don't want kids. Nothing, there's just anything wrong with being a parent or anything like that. People who do love kids. You can handle what you can't, what you want, what you don't.. But like with a dog, it's like, you know, he's great.

He'll be dead in 10 years. He's not going to become Hitler. I can't fuck him up that bad. Like, things are good. And I'm getting all my fatherly instincts out on this dude. It's cool. Yeah. The camera which comedian was talking about how they didn't understand

owning a dog because really all it is is setting yourself up for extreme sorrow in 10 years. Oh, yeah. You're're basically like buying heartbreak. Yeah, oh man, I've got to spend so much money to be sad in a decade. But think about how happy you will be for that decade. Dude, I'm like, on the boss in my bro. And you get to like love something that's on this earth for a period of time. Nice to get a dog.

I love you. I love you. I'm going to get it done. It was really cool going, because I look at. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love like, I think I really like this dog. And so like the first week or so that I had with him, he was like, hey, I want to be near you, because I'm kind of like, I don't know where the space is, but like you seem to be giving me food. So okay, but now it's like, I come home and he's like,

like I'll just be doing something and he'll come in and be like, hey, what's up? I'm in you, lick. I'm in your face. Bye, you're mingles, huh? Cool, all right, lick. On your face. By your miggles, huh? Cool. All right, bye. Thanks, Daddy.

And it's like super cute when like I can tell sometimes like I'm starting to get his personality and we're starting to like get each other. And I was like, this is a fucking Pokemon shit. This is cool. This is really cool. He was being such a good boy when I was there for recording audio the other day. Well, he was well. Other than the blood.

So there was the blood. So he has this tiny, like it's seriously like, it's probably like a, the tiniest little scab, a scab that keeps opening it on the top of his thought is right on a vein. So when it pops, he just becomes a fucking blood hose. It was almost healed until it wasn't. And now I'm back to cleaning it and giving a bandage is and all that stuff. And like, before I just get destroyed on Twitter,

the vet looked at it too, it's chill. But, oh, she wasn't talking about. Oh, the biggest thing that I don't really have a solution for, like a major solution for is, my dog stinks. He's a stinky Smelly dog Inside and out so he farts a lot I Feeding him so I've changed his diet. At first he was going on. I was giving him something similar to what they were giving him at the

At the shelter which was like this high protein like turkey and a few other things, yada yada, yada. And it man, like it was rough as in I brought him to work with me one day and we were in a meeting and we had to move conference rooms rough, like asked by like an upper management person that was visiting like could we please move rooms? Is there anything you can do with him? I was like, Jesus, I'm sorry. We had to pause a recording session once because it was getting so bad in the, I heard it.

In the, in the director's booth, and it was rough. And we had to like, air it out. It was rough. We had to pause because it was rough. Yes. Everyone's so funny. But, since then, I've now switched it over

to like, mainly salmon stuff. And he's still farting up. He has the most audible dogfarts I've now switched it over to like mainly salmon stuff and he's still farting out. He has the most audible dogfarts I've ever heard. I will hear them on the other room just a- It's like one of those deep ones. It's more like I can't do it. I if only my dog's asshole was here you can do it. Yeah bring it on. His are so silent I wish his real louder because then I could at least laugh. Even just laugh.

I feel like they've been better since the first week. I switched them off the different food because the vet told me like it made like hearts, dogs heart grow or some shit. Like the Grinch, but yes, we're like, no way that kills them. So I got them off of that and ever since then and I think that stomach bug that I've healed them up on, I took them back. Yeah, because that last Monday,

we were streaming with John, and he farted really simply, how many minutes? And it was one of those things where Gus stopped by at one point and was like, oh, it smells like farts in here. Like, and it's a room with open, like, there's no ceiling. Yeah. So the air can circulate very freely,

but it still smells like farce. Yeah, I think dogfarts are like heavier. They're pretty, the pants are... Dense or gas, stays lower to the ground. Yeah. The thing that I can't quite figure out is that the best way I can describe it, and I know this is like impossible,

but it's like my dog has B.O. Like, he just smells, like I watch him, his body smells. Like I will give smells. Does his body smell? His body smells. Like, I will give him like pretty regular baths and like, I have this like coat spray that's supposed to be good for it and also make him smell better. That coat spray lasts maybe a day.

And the next day I'm like, how do you smell like shit again? I have a fear that it, that he's one of those dogs that has like little anal gland issues because when a dog dog takes a dump, they also spritz a little stuff on it with their butt to be like, this is my dump. I ain't nobody getting confused about that.

I went to the vet, they were like, oh, we got some build up here. So let me get a glove on and a finger in here and release this stuff because you gotta go, you gotta go, what is it, four and eight o'clock and just get in there and just squeeze them. Which by the way, I felt so bad for him because he was doing such a good job in the fed.

He was like, hey, oh man, I'm getting so many cheats. Yo, this place rules, Miles, who's that guy? Who's she? Oh, she put on a pen- Oh, she put on a pen- They're both gonna put me to get this guy. This guy's giving me a hug. Oh, he's hugging me kind of tight.

And he was like, huh, huh, huh, daddy? Daddy, what are they doing did you do to my butt daddy like he just looked at me like what Daddy no no Like she got him she was like oh yeah, and immediately the room was like oh my god All right, that's it and she let go and he immediately came up to me was like oh Why would they what was back there? He just doesn't know what they do. I'm a man now. It's anal glands.

You got to like, you got to purge the anal glands if they get stuck. If you ever notice like a dog dragon their ass, it could be worms or it's that they need to secrete their anal glands and they're wrapped up. Not like dangleberries. No, no, no, just like fluid. You get your finger in that butthole

and you feel like a little like squishy lumps again at like four and eight o'clock and you just got you gotta press them and then some horrendous smelling fluid will come out and then the right is raining. Does it shoot out or is it like trickle out? I don't know. I wasn't right up in it. Okay. I couldn't say for sure. Boss is looking right at it. Just he's probably doing that people shouldn't do on their own. No, you can. You can. You can. Like, I know Ellie had to do that with Gusta a couple times.

But like, I know you can also like, you can like with groomers like trimming their nails and stuff. He can be like, Hey, check that asshole. Can't blame the giver. Yeah, okay. Would you ever absolutely not know? He, no, like, I'll go, I'll do some stuff, but I don't, I can't do that. We went to the vet for the first time and and he did great, it was the same thing,

where they were like covering them with treats, they're loving up on them. Oh, you teethe, so pretty, all that, I give them all this great stuff. And then they're like, okay, well, we're gonna need a fecal sample. So if you could get that back to us in like the next two weeks,

and that way we can check it for heartworms, all that stuff, and it was like, oh, yeah, sure. It's like, fuck, I gotta drive it all the way back here and stuff like that, it's gonna be such a hassle. So I'm like, kind of like thinking like logistically, like, okay, scheduling, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, take them to this it all the way back here and stuff like that, it's gonna be such a hassle. So I'm like kind of like thinking like logistically, like okay, scheduling, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Take him to this field by the vet's place and like, oh, let's go, you know,

take a pee before you get in the truck. And then he just takes a shit and then I was like, hmm, okay. Well then I like bottled that up and the little testing thing that they gave me and then I walked back, I mean, it must have been like a minute tops. And I was like, does this count?

And they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, sure, we'll take that and it was like, cool, record time. Bye-bye. And it was like, does this count? And they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, sure, we'll take that. It was cool. Record time. Bye bye. It was like, good dog. Also, I want to take this time to remind Chris that the dog is right below you in your feet.

I made that mistake once for I said, but I'm like, every time you kick the dog, he gets to kick you. So just keep that. Have you guys ever had to do a stool sample for yourself? I have it. No. I wouldn't mind.

I wouldn't want to wonder what that was. Let me tell you. You would mind. How do you cut and you catch it? I have it, no. I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't wonder what that was. Let me tell you, you would mind. How do you catch it? I have a friend. They give you, the best way I could describe this is a upside down hat. An upside down hat, like a top hat. But it's plastic.

But it's like a jar? So like you basically put it on your toilet seat. So like the hat part sits in your toilet. And so you sit on it and you poop, and your poop just goes into this little hat. Oh, let's just make sure you don't put the hat on after. It's not actually a hat. Well, I'll see you guys later.

Good day. Oh, no, that's some black and white, like silent, but basically, the worst part about stool samples, and I don't know if it's every stool sample or just this one that I was lucky enough to do. You have to shit in the hat. Well, that's the bad part, but the worst part is that

you have to, like, they give you multiple little jars because they test for different things with different samples. Oh no. And like, they give you a little like, scooper thing. And so you have to like basically like go like dig in your own shit and like scoop it into like the little, why am I like pill bottle type things. And then like some of them you have to like keep cool

until you give back. So you just have like a little thing of shit in your freezer or fridge. And then the other ones you're supposed to keep at room temperature. So you just have them like on your... Like faster under the sun. Yeah.

A very like, wow, this is a very belittling. This is my lowest low. Lowest low. I have friend who did a lot of drug research things and he prided himself on how good he was at stool samples. Like giving a stool sample? As in, like, would put him in certain, he was like really good at divvying them up. I don't know how you pride yourself on that, but that's something that I'm really good at, though.

It's simple Chris, your friend's a serial killer. That's a simple solution. I think if it is, do I think you were talking about, then guess he is. Yeah. There was, I had to do a, I just went into for a regular checkup my yearly, and I also decided to get like an SD check because you know You got it. There you go. That's very responsible. Yes, and so they asked for a urine sample and you know It's a normal process, but I remembered back like so the last time I did a urine sample

I Fucked it up. I didn't I just I guess I just went in with the assumptions of what I was supposed to do. And so, like, basically. What did you do wrong? All right, so like, shit in the cup. I, so I, like, first of all, He was getting a seabind. When I woke up that morning, I thought, I guess based on experiences with like a birth,

like a, like a test, you know, like he, you gotta swap. You didn't like dry throat, sorry. No, when you like, our check into see if a lady has babies, she's like got like, first thing in the morning, no other pee, not drinking anything, it's just like, it's just been stewing in your body that night.

That's like the most effective time to check apparently. So I was like, got it, wake up in the morning, don't take a piss, hold it in until I get to the doctor's appointment, and then I go in there, and I do my thing. So, like, I'm like a fucking human water balloon, like, walk again, like, full circle, so bad. And because your dick was full of teeth.

It was like a balloon animal, full of teeth. And I didn't let myself drink anything that morning, but I had plenty of drink the night before, so I'm just like, and like, I go through all the things and they're like you're in samples like you got it that I like ran in and I did it and it was like I asked seven cups for you who's like that early other cup is that early morning piece so it was like not the best color super yellow and I gave it to them and then they're like, are you dehydrated? Do you need some water? And it was like, no, I'm good. It was, it was.

It's like opaque. Yeah, just like, it's dark. And then I like, I did it and I balled it up and I was like, oh, I think I'd that's over. Have you ever had to, and I looked at the sign and it told you, like you step by step walking you through what you're supposed to do.

I was like, oh, plain, I'm fucking, plain. Have you ever had to do that? So wait, what'd you do wrong? Everything, I could have peed that morning So, what did you do wrong? Everything. I could have peed that morning and then I've drank something that morning as well. I should swap. He was self-doubted through unnecessary amounts of torture.

I should have swabs my dick, but I didn't do that either. Well, I remember you telling me you were worried about that. The shmack, well, you came into my office and you could, I don't have to memorize just like, for sediment, is that so? And he was like, oh, I just fucked up this piece. They can't, I was like, what? It's like, I don't have to memorize just like for sediment, is that so? And he was like, oh, I've just fucked up this piece. They can't, I was like, what? It's like, I didn't swab my dick.

I said to swab my dick. He was like, I just know you had to swab your dick before you're in Sambo. Beautiful. Because there could be things that catch on it. What a beautiful friendship you two have. That is, I was talking about this with Eddie recently. Eddie Revis, how like, you know, when you're younger,

you have like really close friends, like maybe, you know, acquaintances you go to school with, and you have like your best friends, you're my space you're younger, you have like really close friends, like maybe, you know, acquaintances you go to school with and you have like your best friends. You're my space top eight, if you will. But there's this, I feel like as you get older and maybe, you know, maybe some people that are much more like emotionally confident, get this when you're younger too, but I feel like, I noticed it when I got older that older that there's this special tier of best friends that I call vulnerability friends, where you can go to them with the most absolute embarrassing

or shameful or whatever thing, and just know that this is a safe space, and we're gonna talk about your nasty dick cheese. And it's okay. I mean, honestly, Chris is that to me. You are too, I think Cole is. Barbara, I'm sorry. There's some of the goals in her way. I don't want to subject you to that,

but I tell Barbara some shit too. I also tell you guys some shit. You do. You do. I talk, I have a pretty open one. Do you buy her? I feel like we're all pretty open with each other. I don't trust any of you.

It's good. For good reason. Daddy. I was gonna ask the opposite problem. If you ever had to give a urine sample where you had peed before and like can't go to the bathroom. Never. I am always full.

I got to happen to me recently where I was like I was told I was not doing a urine test today and they're like no we still need it and I'm like I literally just went to the bathroom and they're like we really don't need that much. So I was like on the toilet like pushing, I was like, come on, come on! Like, just like, oh, oh, oh, oh! Trying to like squeeze every like inch of my bladder out and I got like that much.

And they're like, that'll, it's fine, that's enough. Okay. They really don't need too much. This is a completely different topic, but I just thought go by on our chat. Thank you to everybody, slash, I'm sorry, chat for everything we just talked about. They have this question that I realized I've thought this before.

How do you, when you get a cat, how do you get it to be an outside cat? Like, how the fuck is that fucking work? I think that that just, I mean, cats just want to go outside. Well, right, but like, what's to say that cats ever going to come back? I guess you have to feed it for a while to let notes like,

hey, without me, I think it'd be fucking dead. And then you trust that it might come back. Maybe you start slow,? I guess you have to feed it for a while to let notes like, hey, without me, be fucking dead. And then you trust that it might come back for food. Maybe you start slow, like, if you have a little back patio area, it could go out and like, not get away. But I don't know. I had a cat. Well, this tells you how this went. Um, I had a cat as an indoor cat, and then, uh,

thanks. And there is. And then I moved into And there he is. And then I moved into like a townhome that we had a little like back patio with the fans and our cat loved to go out. So we'd like, we'd take it out to the back patio, while we were out there and she loved it.

And then we like slowly like, okay, she likes going out here. So we'd let her out there for a little bit and she'd come back in and did that for a bit. And then I guess at one point, she got like like ran bunches and she went, you know, got too far and didn't come back. And by that I mean, she got like car. Oh my God.

So, but you could have stopped. No, no, but I wanted to specify that it was that she ran away. She slowly got adjusted to being outside. And she got to adjusted. Yeah, she didn't get used to the cars, but she got used to being outside would still come back and just like to go out to play. I used to own rabbits and I had one in bugs

and we let them out one time, but there was a hole in our fence, so he got out. And we're freaking out and we're all checking all over the place, calling out like bugs. And the rabbit's like, I fucking come to you when you call to it. I don't know how or what, but like I found him like five houses down in a random bush

and I got him and it wasn't a lottery cotton that I realized he was on Easter day. Oh, that's cute. It was like terrifying, but we got him back and he lived to be like fucking 15. Also, chat is confirming, yeah, just feed that cat for a while, and then we'll come back. Let it know who it's daddy is.

I was supposed to be wrapping up to keep cutting to the white shot. Yeah. Yeah, that's gonna wrap it up for today. But we're gonna be doing the post show where we'll talk more about cats or whatever you're gonna want to know. You know, shitin' in cats.

Yeah, so if you're not a first member, sign up for dad first membership so you can watch the post show later on. Thank you. Thanks for watching. Bye. Bye. Get your pet spayed and neutered. The Do you like apples?

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